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staylavendertea · 3 years

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music, ya know

this is a complete impulse of lying in bed middle of the night thoughts that i don’t even know if anyone’s gonna see that have been stemmed off the experiences of the past couple days, topic of 1:41 am mind boggle:

music and it’s aesthetic and importance in literal every sense cause it’s just that important to me

first experience of realizing this, i’ve always loved film scores and listening to music and the orchestral pieces from movies and shows, but it really seemed to hit me recently, like the fact that this week’s new LOKI episode, no spoilers, has the most badass score and a badass scene with such a perfect mix and musical atmosphere. i literally had one of my best friends over, who has a very small interest in comics, cinema, marvel in general, especially a show about a norse comic god that they know nothing about, and whilst they sat there for my own regard, watching the show like a normal human being would, i sat there clinching their hand, watching in awe as our music is louder than actors talking tv speakers spurted out the most spine tightening world building story and just wandered “jesus that was good” and whilst i will always think about the superior acting, cgi, the amount of different people that just went into those few scenes and like what was physical set and what was computer image and what the hell did i just watch that has my brain running olympic marathon circles right now?

the thought that said brain kept going back to was that fucking score. it was literally tearing apart of every corner of my head and why was it doing that?

second experience, another marvel one, but i digress. black widow (no spoilers i promise), thursday night, movie theater for the first time in i can’t even remember how long now and we set through so many previews just for fucking boss baby to start playing and the reaction of the theater to make me burst out laughing.

however whatever works in that little projection box, gets fixed and the movie is pushed to just a little before it starts, a nice small pepsi ad, the regal rollercoaster intro (if you go to regal movie theaters ya know what i’m talking about), and then i hear it - the marvel studios logo - something so musically engraved into my head that my ass that can’t sing for anything, can harmonize with the sound and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up around movie theater surround sound. but i can’t think of that now, i’m here to watch black widow, a movie on hiatus with the rest of the world for so long now, a character i didn’t know much about it or truly, didn’t have the most connection with in the first place. yet through that one movie, i seemed to build one of those.

ofc though scarlett johansson’s beautiful acting and world building, but it isn’t until the end of the movie that i even realize why. it was the fucking score again. when i think about it, the beginning of the movie felt like all of black widows scenes in the avengers movies for me, kinda just, there. not really emotionally tugging, not bad ofc either, but just, there. in the present, watching something cool in motion. but then it hits, what i can only describe as a theme that somehow tells the entire black widow movie in one singular composition. something so badass, story telling, but also just singularly black widow-esk. i can tell you that i walked out the movie theater rambling about the composition and looking up composers.

third experience, the most recent as it was literally like 20 minutes ago and sprung one train rail of a thought process that immediately tugged me into typing this brain vomit into a tumblr post. i have playlists. for everything. and when i say everything, i fucking mean everything. i’m a writer and a reader, i have playlists mostly for the young avengers, my most utter comfort characters, and their stories i’m writing. i also have playlists/genre/specific song for about every book i read.

when i read red white and royal blue when that came out, i noticed i listened to one of the drunks by panic at the disco the entirety of the ending of the book and the words and music fit together like puzzle pieces, not only did it make the reading experience better, but i was so fucking emerged in my over hyper-imagitive brain that when i finally actually finished the book, i still never left. rewind present day to the beginning of this past june, one last stop comes out, ofc i get it the day it comes out with my anticipation building like wildfire. i start reading that night and i put on my recents on my liked songs playlist (true to true spotify user) and i slowly over the next day as i read and finish the book, windle down to the genre, then the band, to the album, to the exact song that feels like the carbon copy of the words i’m reading. that song was only ones who know by the arctic monkeys. now go back to this past week, anyone who reads the carry on series knows, anyway the wind blows came out this past tuesday. i waited till wednesday to buy the ✨pretty special addition barnes and nobles copy✨ so that the dear friend that indulged me by watching loki that same day could buy it at the same time and make a cute book date or whateva. i started reading that night and something just felt ,,, off. i didn’t know what it was, but i was living off the pure joy that simon and co give me so i ignored the feeling. until i realized why it felt off this morning. i wasn’t listening to any fucking music, literally nothing, not even queen. motherfucking. queen.

i looked for the snowbaz playlist i made when i read carry on for the first time back in 2016/2017 when i was still a freshman in high school just to remember i deleted that literally forever ago. so i made a new one. like an hour and a half ago. very inspired on how i made the playlists for the young avengers and all their stories. letting the music talk.

the fact that all these rambling thoughts have led to this conclusion makes my head hurt, but for me at least in my own experiences. music talks. a two way conversation. a radio broadcast, turning the peg until you match the same frequency thats being put out and you can hear it and understand it. it’s like when you see comedians on stages or actors on panels, they talk, you have reactions, you talk back, and so forth the loop continues until the last voice, last note, rings out. music and songs and orchestral pieces and bands and composers and lyric writers are telling you the stories in reverse. they don’t know their doing it, obviously they meant something entirely different in their creations, but it’s like literature and any work of words and storytelling. interpretation. to me, the notes, pianos, violins, guitars, drums, singers, cellos, and anything that can make sound you can think of, is telling you something. whispering in your ear as you watch or read. facial features, emotions the characters dont say out loud, outfits, they way their standing or talking or moving or interacting with anything and everything.

when i just made that carry on playlist, i played it, decided to try read some good almost 2 am fan fic as you do, my hanging on by a thread sleep brain telling me words aren’t recognizable right now, and tighten myself into a blanket to see if i can sleep at all. the playlist still plays and my never shuts up head thinks it’s own daydreams, stresses out about anything it can, that is until the song plays. the one that just speaks the carry on trilogy language. the one that i found whilst i was reading wayward son and then would play whenever i re read carry on. the one that started this whole way too long ass post in the first place. cant be alone tonight by atlas. i heard just the first sound and i saw them, as if i were in the same room, like i never even put the book down in the first damn place because i’m actually terrified of finishing it. i could see simon in his oversized hoodies, baz in an outfit that was way too good just to be sitting inside, agatha looking as pleasantly pretty as ever, penelope poking fun at shepherd, and shepherd poking fun right back; bickering, laughing, saying the dialogues i try to remember so i can write them later, existing.

in a way music doesn’t just talk, but it lives. it lives and breaths. a three way conversation you could say. characters, stories, plot, and settings talk to the music, then the music delivers us listeners the message, so that we can send one back. this literally took me over an hour to write and i should point the important note that i do have synesthesia where colors and sounds and colors and words do the association so this entire thing might be me being entirely biased, but alas, i love sound so much and if there is anyone else that feels the same ways as i do as just a simple good film score and song makes anything ten times better, feel free to talk, i will totally be awkward, but i need some music freaks like myself around so feel free to hit me up, also if you love movies and cinema also feel free to hit me up as i need movie buddies and now it’s 3 am and i will be going to bed - peace out 🛸

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marinerainbow · 4 years

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Can I have some Yandere! Reala headcanons? With a Visitor love interest?

.... ok I'm not gonna lie, I have been waiting for someone to post SOMETHING about yandere Reala. I just think it would fit him, especially after NiGHTS' rebellion (now I wish I knew who you were cause I'm just like "omg someone who was thinking what I was thinking?" XD)

I'm so sorry this took awhile! Despite the fact I've thought of this before I had a hard time with this for some reason, and even had to rewrite it when I didn't like it. Hopefully you like the final version!

Ok! Enough chit chatter! Time to fulfill your request as best as I can! I hope I dont get outcasted by the fandom for putting something yandere in it

Yandere!Reala x Visitor!S/O headcannons

(No Reala specific gif because I couldn't find one I liked. Hopefully this'll do!)

The most likely scenario I see is after NiGHTS' rebellion, around a time he was still emotionally raw. Reala and the visitor would have met while he was hunting them for their ideya, but... They were not afraid of him, they were curious about him and his world. Usually he wouldn't give a visitor like them the time of day, but... It had been too long since he had a conversation with someone. Too long since his friend left him. Besides, visitors were, at most, entertainment in his eyes. He could indulge this humans curiosity, so long as he made sure to take their ideya back to his master. So, out of desperation for company, he would have indulged them. And although he wouldn't want to admit it, he was actually enjoying spending time with them. Granted, it wasn't the same as the fun he would have had with his ex comrade, but... It was enough for him to find this visitor interesting.

However, when he realizes how much time he spent interacting with them and had even forgotten to steal their ideya until after they awoke, he would panic. If Wizeman ever found out what happened, then he would be punished. So he makes it a point to find the human later and do his job right the next time they came to the night dimension. He would find the visitor again to finish his job... Only for the visitor to say or do something that caught his attention and make him forget what he was doing.

This conflict would go on for a long time. He shouldn't consider this mortal worthy of his time, he should just grab their ideya already and go! But everytime he would go out to accomplish this, something the visitor would say or do would stop him. Why couldn't he focus on his mission? How did the human hold this much power over him!? During this time, Reala would want to avoid them, wanting to stay away from the source of his fear and frustrations, but at the same time, the thought of what the visitor was doing and their smile and friendly demeanor would force him to go out to find them again. Only to be enraged with himself when he realizes what he did.

Sooner or later, he would take some time to himself to actually think about what to do with the visitor. At first, the answer would be obvious to him, stop fooling around with the human. But then he would think back to all of his time spent with the human, and how they had not only kept him company, but... How nice they were to them. The only other person who had treated him that way was NiGHTS, and even then the way this visitor treated him was different... Maybe he liked having them around too. Of course, upon this realization, his conflict would then be about his loyalties. He would want to keep the human close, but what about his duty? What about his master?

Then again... Wizeman let him and NiGHTS be companions. Granted, this visitor wasn't created by Wizeman to serve him. But if he was good enough, surely his master would allow him to keep them? As a reward for his hard work and unwavering loyalty?

So with that theory, Reala would work as hard as he could to earn the privilege of having his precious visitor with him. He would not only spend as much of his time possible proving himself to Wizeman, but following his visitor around whenever he could. He won't make his presence known, he would just silently observe them in their dreams to learn more about them that he couldn't deduce from his conversations with them.

As time goes by, his obsession over his visitor would grow more and more. He would be thinking about them constantly; what were they doing now? Were they awake or asleep? Were they safe? Would they choose to stay in the night dimension with him willingly? I imagine he would also be obsessive with every little detail about his human, from their physical features to their personality to their habits to their routine. He wants to know everything that there is to know about them for various reasons.

He would also be much more protective of them. He lost his first companion, he is determined not to lose this one. Whenever he sees a nightmaren harassing his human, whether or not they were trying to take their ideya, he will do whatever he can to get them away from them. And since he is a high level nightmaren who communicates with Wizeman the most often, he could easily tell his master that the nightmaren who was harassing his visitor was a traitor, and with how paranoid and tyrannical Wizeman is, he would no doubt kill the nightmaren, regardless of any evidence suggesting Reala was lying. Either that or Reala would take care of the problem himself. Either way, whatever his human doesn't know wont hurt them.

His extra overprotective nature doesn't stop there. Although he doesn't want his precious visitor to be afraid, he also doesn't want them to have pleasent dreams. Good dreams means a higher risk of those nightopians being around his darling human. They aren't as threatening as the nightmaren, but they clearly have the power to brainwash people into believing they are good. They did the exact same thing to his ex comrade. So Reala would do whatever it took to ensure that his visitor didn't interact with any nightopians whatsoever.

Now this last headcannon depends on whether Wizeman allows him to keep his visitor or not. If he gives Reala permission to put them in a coma, he would be ecstatic! He would drop whatever he was doing and fly off to find his darling. The second he finds the opportunity, he will take the necessary steps to trap his human in an neverending sleep. Once done, he will waste no time in taking them back to his home in the castle- not his nightmare lair, that's only reserved for the visitors he gives nightmares too. He would do everything he could to convince his no doubt distraught love that this was for the best for both of them. In the meantime, he will protect them and provide for them, while also keeping them close at all times, or as much as he can considering he has to leave for his duties, but those times he would probably lock his S/O in his home, not willing to trust anyone to look after them. As such, his behavior around them crosses the thin line between protective and possessive.

However, if Wizeman said no, then Reala would be distraught. Not only did this mean that he couldn't keep them close, but someday his treasure would succumb to their mortality and pass away, leaving him all alone again. So he would choose to spend as much time as he could with his visitor. When he wasn't carrying out Wiseman's commands, he would find his human to spend all of his free time with. However, instead of simply talking to them, he would start courting them; if he only has a limited amount of time with his special one, then he will make the most of all that time. His courting would be the usual, gentlemanly acts and tokens of affection, however he would try to be more obvious about his intentions in hopes that will somehow convince his visitor to take him as a lover. If they do, then he will do his best to be the best lover for them, despite the fact that he can't be with them all the time and won't be able to do as much as he could if this relationship wasn't supposed to be a secret from Wizeman. If they said no... He would be devastated, but at the same time he wont be able to bring himself to force them to love them. He will just continue to watch over his love and ensure they are safe. As long as they were safe and were still friends with him, he would be happy. However, he may have thoughts about going against his masters orders and trapping them in a coma anyways... Though that entirely depends on how his and the visitors' relationship unfolds; if it is steady, then he will be less likely to snap. Though that could also change when his human starts growing older and closer to their time of departure. It really all depends on how things play out for the two of them.

Not really related, but when I personally think of yandere Reala, I think of the songs 'Within You' from Labryinth and 'Hellfire' from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, regardless of whether his S/O is a visitor, nightmaren, or even a nightopian. Hellfire is when those feelings are just starting to consume him, and Within You is when he's finally accepted how he feels for his S/O and confronts them.

And that's what I got! Please tell me what you think! Any questions or constructive criticism is more then welcome! (Also let me know if there are spelling/grammar errors please!)

#my own post #my own headcannons #NiGHTS Journey of Dreams #NiD #JoD #NiGHTS into Dreams #Reala #yandere #romance #Wizeman #visitors #my own writing #x reader #tw yandere #i guess the gif could fit this though #Realas love slowly blooms like a rose but would grow into something twisted like the thorns.#i hope that wording was right but i doubt it was #NiGHTS #since they get mentioned plenty of times

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whookami · 4 years

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I wanna say really i love your takes on steve 😁 i just wanted to point out that there are small moments like the Russian music scene and the scene where he talks about the elevator that occasionally give a glimpse that hes not actually dumb but all this is just overlooked by the fandom in favour of him being the comic relief. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the two scenes i mentioned above cause i really dont think hes as dumb as S3 portrayed him to be.

Firstly, thank you, anon!! I love Steve and he’s such a deep character that he’s really fun and interesting to explore.

So, the scene with him and the Indian Flyer is amazing! Like, I love how they foreshadow it as a throw away line earlier, with Dustin getting frustrated at him. It seems like just a meaningless exchange, and then Bam! Indiana Flyer! The fact that Robin and Dustin are just going back and forth, ignoring Steve whilst they toss around theories is perfect. People overlook Steve’s contributions a lot, and this is a perfect example. He is so shaken/excited by what he’s realized that he’s fumbling all the change in his pocket, keyed up to the point that he even catches a really terribly tossed quarter to jam into the machine. He’s telling the others to shut up, because he is already way ahead of them, before even hearing the music, he knows. He isn’t the most book smart, but in this case Steve caught what even Robin’s little genius ears failed to catch. I chalk this up to Steve being a more external observant person, constantly watching outwards, while Robin and Dustin are more traditionally intellectual inwardly-focus individuals. Both groups have their advantages and disadvantages, and both have intelligence, it just is displayed and directed in different ways.

As for the elevator scene? I’d love you to message back which part specifically, because there are several, and I think Steve is actually pretty great in most of them? (The one part I dislike is the cheap joke of Steve needing to go pee. Sigh.)

But let’s talk about Steve and intelligence for a moment. Now, I think the most important thing about the entire issue is that Steve doesn’t think he’s smart. In any situation he’d be the first to discount himself intellectually. And you know what? I honestly think he leans into it. I think it’s always been a sort of safety net for him. His behaviour in season one with Tommy and Carol indicates that he lets them do most of the thinking/planning for their trio. They actively tease and mock and are unkindly towards their peers, while Steve just quietly smiles or laughs, outwardly accepting what they say without vocally validating it. Tommy is the one with the spray paint. Tommy gives Barb a wet willy. Carol is bitchy in general. Steve has allowed himself to be piloted by these two for a while at least, and their dynamics are pretty clear. Steve is a puppet King. When Tommy confronts Steve he tells him that they both know Steve can’t beat him physically. Tommy isn’t a nice guy, he’s not witty or charming, not the type of guy people are drawn to, but Steve is Tommy can’t be popular on his own, but by backing Steve and calling the shots he gets that position, and Carol likes Tommy’s meanness, likes how he belittles others because she’s got that cruel streak too. Steve is too soft, he doesn’t go for the throat, so to speak. So they have the power and Steve has the popularity and the money, and because he’s an emotionally isolated and desperately lonely kid inside, Steve accepts this and relinquishes control. Until he finally reaches a point where he can’t. The camera was fine, he can feel justified about that, but the things he said about the Byers’, the lengths he went to look tough and cool in front of his friends is too much. (And I honestly wonder what would have happened if the confrontation had happened elsewhere, without any of Steve’s ‘friends’ present. Of course, it’s best it didn’t, since this is why Steve shows up later when he’s most needed.)

So yeah, Steve got used to being dumb. He knows he isn’t great academically (and I totally embrace the fanon that he’s dyslexic), and he’s just accepted that as who he is. He let others think for him. He was willing to let Nancy think for him, ready to just blow off the idea of college entirely because he has no faith in himself, and he’s safer that way. I think the most tragic scene we never go to see is Steve trying to turn things around in his senior year, and then getting all those letters from colleges telling him no...God, that would have broken him down inside to such a heart breaking degree. Everything he’s feared and internalized about his own intelligence would seem to be proven true by college after college. He has no reason to care any more. He’s surrounded in his (limited) social life by people much younger and much more intelligent than him, and so he gives up, leans into being just an idiot, because it doesn’t hurt worse than trying and failing. It doesn’t help that two of the most important people in his life in season 3 also reconfirm for him that he’s dumb, insulting his intelligence regularly. His speech to Robin in s3e2 basically confirms just how self aware of all this he really is.

Steve has just never been given a reason to believe in his own smarts. He is used to letting others think for him. This is also why he isn’t great when questioned suddenly. In s3 his banter with Dustin sometimes almost falls into a pattern of Steve just letting the kid one up him and make Steve sound dumb because he isn’t as fast as the other. When Keith asks Steve’s favourite films he can’t answer because he doesn’t know what Keith’s favourite films are. How is he supposed to provide the right answer when he knows little about what the person asking him likes? Steve doesn’t really like anything (not even himself, ouch), he likes whatever the people he’s with like. It’s why he’s bad with references about pop culture at times in s3, because if his peers didn’t like something Steve didn’t need to know anything about it. If you asked him about Tommy’s favourite show however I bet you’d find Steve knows a lot.

So in conclusion (for now), Steve isn’t stupid at all, he’s just accepted it as fact and because of who he is as a person, he actively leans into the label. If the people around him think he’s dumb and expect him to be dumb, then that’s who he has to be. It sort of starts with the whole Germans/Nazis thing in season 2. He saw Dustin, and everyone’s, reactions to such a small gaffe when he was actually trying to keep up, and he was really made to feel stupid for something that contextually was a really trivial error. But it stuck with him. Season 3 is basically what happens after a mistake like that is allowed to grow in his mind over the course of nine months, with probably a few other similar instances thrown in. It’s made clear he’s spent a lot of time with Dustin since then, and it’s made it’s impact. He’s becoming, or trying to become, the person he thinks Dustin sees him as and wants him to be. Part of that equation is being dumb. Dumb, but cool, and ultimately a loyal friend. And Steve is all too happy to try and be that, even if his coolness has kind of worn off in light of his genuine self. Robin also sees him as dumb, and he’s pretty much doubled down on it before Erica even enters the picture. Sometimes he slips though, catching the background music that the others miss, taking note of the numerous health and safety violations of the underground base, and intuiting that the others are in danger and need help when they see the mall flickering from the radio tower. Heck, all of his behaviour while being interrogated and beaten senseless are completely showing his intelligence and maturity, even as he’s begging the Russians to just believe him! He works at Scoops Ahoy, dammit! His discussions with Robin while tied up and later in the bathroom are both thoughtful and intelligent, he’s very self aware and trying his best to support her despite what he’s already been out through. He’s not an academic, but he is so smart about seeing and understanding others and life in general, and it’s a crime that he doesn’t realize this. It’s a crime that those closest to him do nothing but reconfirm this belief in him. I don’t think anyone in the show realizes just how messed up Steve is internally. But Steve’s good at reading the same in others and trying to be reassuring and help them. Ugh. This poor boy. I could seriously have this discussion for hours anon, thank you for asking!!

#steve harrington #stranger things #i accidentally left this in my drafts for a week #also i write ‘in conclusion’ and then keep going for a billion more paragraphs #i could talk about this boy forever i swear

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holywankenobi · 5 years

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SW fandom rant

To be honest, I don't really know how or where can I start talking about this. If you aren't interested in any of the Star Wars drama that is going on then skip this post, cause its gonna be long... these goes for the SW fans we are concerned about the whole situation itself. I barely have the strength to do this and exposing my opinion about certain things makes me uncomfortable but it's been a long while since I'm keeping things to myself. There's much information I have to process so please be patient with me since I barely know how to express my emotions in the right way (that's why I'm holding myself back a lot here: it will seem I'm calm... but I'm not. I'm angry and tired at the same time).

DISNEY CANON

We all know where it all started. The Force Awakens premiere in 2015. We will start from there.

As ANY star wars movie, there will be people who liked it, people who loved it and people who hated it. And there is where some fans clash with the others. Fans who enjoy practically every movie or SW related things and those fans who demonize every movie (specially the ones from the new Disney canon) and the only thing that matters for them are the episodes IV, V, VI and the Legends canon (some of them also defend the prequel episodes I, II and III, fact which I'll talk about it later). And they bash against everyone who likes the Disney sequels.

BOI IM SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE SAGA SO FAR. And I already had problems with Legends hardcore fans.

Let me tell this straightaway... Star Wars are movies for kids. They've always been. George Lucas said it. They seem to be thirsty for feeling again what they felt when they were kids whenever a SW movie comes out but they always exit the cinema with a feeling of extreme disappointment.

I was talking about the last movie with my co workers at the beginning of the year and they complaint it was "too Disney". And that's precisely what I'm trying to explain! It's ok whether you like the sequels or not like them. Everyone has his own taste. I just find funny complaining for a whole saga originally made for kids for being "too Disney". I dont know if you get my point here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsOqEpNF0k&list=PL8SlwcJuVWR2FNtL-6Wo5QUP6LMjpNJUA

LEGENDS CANON

Then there's those who hated the prequels, that said there was nothing worse than the phantom menace, those who hated on George Lucas for doing such a crap, but now praise the prequels because Disney is satan for them and they want the old canon back. George Lucas ended up selling SW to Disney because, he ain't no fool, he knows this fanbase is one of the most toxic and ungrateful that has ever existed. And he saw it with the prequels feedback... Then they now have the guts to demand him to continue the old canon? Smells like hypocrite-crying fanboys to me.

My whole point is....It's ok if you are a new/Disney sequels fan, it's ok if you are a prequels fan, it's ok if you are a SW original movies fan, Legends canon fan, OG fan, casual fan, hardcore fan... as always you understand that not everyone will agree with your point of view, not everyone will like or think the same way as you do, or live SW the same way as you do. There's a difference between respecting and agreeing with, concepts which sometimes get mixed and taken as the same thing, which is not. Respect other fans mean "I don't agree with you but I know how much this means for you, so I won't intentionally mock you" WHICH THING LEADS US TO THE NEXT TOPIC:

JOHN BOYEGA

*takes a deep breath*

Man. I dont know. He's a full grown up man and he's behaving like a 5 yo on his social media...... John is the actor who gives life to Finn (the ex stormtrooper). It all started with this sexist comment he responded to a fan in his IG.

Then people (naturally) got offended, specially reylos. But instead of apologizing he kept on going, remarked what he said and also did a video to mock the reylo community.

You think I'm only defending a ship here but no. Its bigger than that. He has the right to feel left out in this saga because I agree with him IN THAT FACT. He is probably the actor which is more into the SW world, he was always a big fan (of the whole cast I mean). Thats why fans love him do much. And I did love him too. And he (naturally) wanted to have more spotlight on this saga ( I think Finn was one of the most wasted characters of these movies tbh) But instead of taking it the mature way he's having a tantrum on his IG because Finnrey did not become a real thing, he's trolling reylos and encouraging SW haters and antis to bully them whose are already having a hard time with TROS end (which I'll talk about later because I dont like their attitude about it either).

And it's not just raise the hate on shippers thing dude you could just apologize because you said something sexist and offended a lot of people who ship reylo and really means a thing for them. The whole thing that the greatest achievement a man can have with a woman is sex is just DISGUSTING. Rey kissed Ben but now he's gone Finn has the road clear and can fuck her? BRUH.

This is all so wrong and he was the one who started it.

ADAM DRIVER

I'm really relieved Adam does not have any social media because omg I would be suffering so much rn...

I honestly have never emotionally connected with an actor so much as I did with him. His whole acting is so good and I could really notice on this last movie. I'm starting to watch his other movies. And not just his acting, he's so professional off camera too.

I'm really happy and proud of him for his Oscar nomination, he really deserves it TT

But I'm worried this whole John Boyega thing affects him. Idk how I would feel if I were in his shoes, if my coworker was saying those things on social media and then smile at me like nothing is happening. But honestly what hurts me the most is he's having a worse time with "reylos".. I think the rumors of him having an affair with Daisy Ridley was what messed things up. I honestly dont know if its true, I've got some info but it's hard to believe. Because there are so many haters manipulating fake info that I dont trust anything and anyone anymore.

And this is where I talk about:

REYLOS AND DAIVERS

BOI OH BOI

This is gonna be hard....

First of all, I don't consider Daivers (Daisy x Adam shippers) as part of the reylo community. I'm sorry. But its fucking disgusting you going to demand Adam to divorce from his wife, abandon his son and then start dating Daisy because of this rumor or because you can't separate fiction from reality.... I read he even recieved death threats ARE WE NUTS??? They (Adam and Daisy) having a good chemistry working together doesn't mean they are in love, kids...

Driver has an awesome wife and a lovely son. Daisy is currently dating someone.

Infidelity is gross. No more. And I would be so disappointed at them if this turns out to be true. But seeing all what's happening around the actors and specially having all this haters out there... I'll say this was all false information.

Daiver is not real and won't be. So stick only to the fictional ship.....

About Reylo itself. I find REALLY funny how people who dont know shit about what this ship means say it's an abusive relationship. Bullshit. I wouldn't be shipping them if so.

Also the people still stating it's not real/canon hiding themselves behind the "Ben solo is dead lol" argument. Do you stop loving someone when they die?

Yes, they love each other. No, it wasn't always reciprocated love. They started being enemies in the force awakens, friends who understood and cared for each other through force dyad in the last jedi and ended up being lovers at the end of the rise of Skywalker. Rey wants to revenge her family (her falling to the dark side) but also wants Ben Solo back, and he wants to be the most powerful leader on the galaxy and still being kylo ren. But they eventually meet in the middle between light and dark and Leia finally reaches out to him to make him turn to the light.That's their fight. That's the angst. That's the tea. "No one is ever really gone" there's always hope. Star Wars is centered in HOPE. And their story represents it at its finest.

NOW. The reylo community.

Despite you liked it or not the end they gave to the saga... I think JJ Abrams doesn't deserve all the hate he's receiving... he probably did a lot of things wrong but seriously... just stop. Not only from reylos but the whole fandom.

Sending hate won't lead to anything now...

I enjoyed The rise of Skywalker. Indeed I spent half of the movie crying and I loved it.

You can cry as much as you want the loss of Ben (although I have hope for him still being alive in a way, there are plenty of theories) but that doesn't give you the right to death threat JJ. And I think I'll stop here cause I'm already tired.

Everyone has their own taste, preferences, favourite characters, ships, whatever. I pray for people stop judging others for their tastes, specially in this cursed fanbase. Sorry if I ever misbehaved trying to defend what I think or like. I just want this place to be supportive and safe for everyone and everything what's happening is not helping... We are all SW fans and that's our connection point. Dont discredit others for having another point of view...

I'll leave it here, but I'm open to debate or talk about anything I said in a respectful way.

#tros #tros rant #star wars rant #reylo #the rise of reylo #adam driver #john boyega #star wars 9 #star wars ix #star wars ep 9 #the rise of skywalker

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kidelder · 4 years

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jiley & camline for that angsty ship meme pls 🥺

okay this is so much fun actually ksdfjsdf but i think?? it’s less angsty than i originally thought lmao 🥺🥺🥺

Jiley

Okay james and riley have such an interesting dynamic and i literally cannot wait to see the trust building between them and kudos to james for dealing with riley ksdjfsdf

who is more likely to get injured doing small tasks

Definitely Riley especially since she is literally almost never careful enough. Like she has a butterfly knife that she constantly plays with and flicks around with a lot and bet she accidentally cuts herself a lot.

who worries more about the other

James skjdfsdf I think he would be the type to be more worried and persistent to get their injuries treated when it comes to injuries and stuff. Especially since Riley literally gets into trouble and gets injured way too often like every other day so he probably would get worried; while Riley would be the type that gets concerned only for people she cares about like James and the only sign that shows that is when she tosses a roll of bandages at him if he got hurt.

who is more afraid about the other leaving them

Both of them would be afraid of the other leaving them especially after they have spent some time together and are actually depending on each other?? and the fact that they literally only have each other to trust and lean on. Like James would probably be the one who’s more vocal about not wanting her to leave and Riley is the type who wouldn’t admit that she doesn’t want him to ever leave.

who is more likely to leave (for any reason)

I think both of them! At first it would definitely be Riley because she still doesn’t trust him, and she is kinda scared of actually trusting him? She feels as if that makes her vulnerable and he might become her weakness that could be exploited, and she’s scared she wouldn’t be able to protect him like how she couldn’t protect all the ones she’s lost. Which leads to her making dumb decisions that probably end up hurting him. Which causes James to leave her because any trust he has on her is definitely shattered. But both of them probably would be reluctant to actually leave each other once their broken bond is repaired stronger than ever.

who is more likely to drunkenly confess

Riley sfsdfsdf she has a pretty loose mouth when she is drunk and she probably just says whatever that comes to mind. Once she feels comfortable enough around James, drunk Riley would be emotionally expressive Riley. She would be more honest regarding her feelings and thoughts rather than always resolving to sarcasm and humor. catch her just rambling about how she hates james for always being so disapproving of her but then he looks so hot that she wants to just both kiss and kick him for distracting her but then he has to do things that just confuse tf outta her like making sure she is safe or how he pulls the blanket over her when she kicks it off when she’s asleep-- yes she noticed that-- and how she took a peek when he showered that one time and she didnt get much sleep that night--

who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason)

Honestly this would be Riley for a short while since there’s the whole trust thing. But also everyone she’s ever loved and cared for before all wound up getting killed so that is also another reason because she lowkey thinks she is the reason why she couldn’t protect the people she loves, and she wouldn’t want to do that to James, someone she might actually have feelings for, so she just ends up pushing him away and/or leaving. Cause seeing him getting seriously injured or dying on her watch would really break her, especially after she’s gotten way more attached to him than she would even want to admit

who picks fights more often

Riley tbh because well, she is Riley. Skljdfsdf ok but like she will end up doing or saying insensitive things mostly because she likes to be a dramatic little shit, and to annoy James, even during inappropriate times and that would probably cause them to argue and fight a lot.

who usually apologizes first

I think James would be the type to apologize so they could wrap up the issue and move on and Riley would be the type to show that she is guilty and sorry rather than express it verbally. Catch her buying dinner or doing something genuine from heart after she’s done something wrong or upset James a little too far.

who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other

I think both of them! They don’t seem to be the type to actually sit down and sort through their feelings like “okay i think i’m in love with you” but they would be showing it instead? Like they wouldn’t actually admit it but they certainly wouldn’t actually go out of their way to hide it too lmao

who is more likely to lash out at the other

Depends on the situation, mostly. If it’s a very serious and dangerous situation and Riley is once again trying to kill herself, I see James would get more upset than Riley, and her antics certainly doesn’t help ghjfdkg

who gets more jealous

i think it would be Riley most of the time. I see James as someone who has that naturally attractive and kind charm that people just get drawn to and he is just so nice to everyone that people can’t not like him. Especially those who clearly have other intentions, and that would actually annoy Riley a lot from time to time. And Riley literally flirted and did much more with James when he first came to kill her, so who’s to say she wouldn’t have done something similar with anyone else? And James definitely knows that. Riley has a certain confident sexiness vibe to her entire demeanor and she attracts just the right- or wrong kind of company.

who is more likely to support the other in a relationship with someone else “as long as they’re happy”

Skdhfsdf i would say both but Riley would be the type to hold grudges and she will literally be so salty even though she’s moved on (if she even manages to) and James definitely seems like the type that would genuinely wish the other to be happy.

Bonus random hc: i dont think riley is the type to ever call anyone by their actual names skdjfsf and she definitely has a bunch of weird nicknames for people that she finds funny. Like she would be calling james as “golden boy”, “goldie” cause he’s like the top agent in their agency or like “superhero” cause she think he has some sort of hero complex always trying to save everyone he can kjgfds

Camline

OK camline are literally childhood friends turned enemies and just thinking about it kinda makes me laugh cause this dynamic?? would also be so fun to write considering how they literally cant stand each other but then they both have their emotional sides that they never let anyone else see?? i cant wait for them to realize they have the other right there all along who sees through their bullshit

who is more likely to get injured doing small tasks

i think neither tbH

who worries more about the other

cameron skjdsd and he tries to always make sure that she’s okay, regardless of how she acts or what she says.

who is more afraid about the other leaving them

i think both of them would be tbh, especially after they have grown to rely on each other

who is more likely to leave (for any reason)

celine cause i see her being wary af in getting attached to cameron and she probably keeps telling herself she is just fine with or without cameron and she probably will leave him just to prove her point ksdfsdf

who is more likely to drunkenly confess

i would say both of them! cameron probably is just his same good-nature self when he is drunk but if he is alone, drinking with only close friends he probably will visibly relax a lot and that might result in him being more honest with what he’s actually facing?? but he will probably just brush it off like it’s not a big deal. and it will prob take celine a lot to let down her guard but mAYBE if she’s drunk and comfortable enough she will let loose a few things that she would never say sober

who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason)

definitely celine cause i think even when they’re married, part of her still sees cameron as this playboy and also a competition and just someone she doesn’t know if she can ever fully trust??

who picks fights more often

both of them !! i’m pretty sure they bicker with each other at least 3 times a day over literally anything tbh but regardless if they mean it or not, it just how they function as a couple dslkfjdsf they’re used to it and i’m pretty sure if one of them starts being completely nice to the other for like the entire day, the other will start to get creeped out and get skeptical af

who usually apologizes first

neither tbh like if they are really feeling sorry, they would be the ones to show that they’re sorry instead of actually saying the word. but cameron will be the one more comfortable and chill with saying sorry.

who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other

celine !! cameron would be more vocal and expressive when it comes to telling his feelings for her but skdjfsdf she probably doesn’t believe him

who is more likely to lash out at the other

i think at one point both of them would get angry and upset at each other back then but it’s more like years of misunderstanding and annoyance piled up sdjfsdf

who gets more jealous

both of them klsdjfdsf they probably get petty and salty but they also wouldn’t just say it cause they’re stubborn like that

who is more likely to support the other in a relationship with someone else “as long as they’re happy” i think celine will be the one who’s more okay with the thought of letting cam go so he would be happy and stuff like that because she probably thinks that’s for the best and cam most certainly would not be happy or okay with the thought but he is also someone who’s used to sacrificing himself so others can be happy. but both of them will definitely have the soreness remaining in their hearts for a long time. deep down they wouldn’t be happy with it, but they will gladly let the other go so they get to be happy.

#kdjfsdfs this got a lot longer than i expected but it's so great to dig deeper into their personality and stuff #otp: kiss me kill me #otp: meet you in the afterglow #loulou #asks

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jojotier · 6 years

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What do you think of tsurumi and his general appeal? I really like him as a villain and I admit that he's a charming character but the people who worship him and say he did nothing wrong (even as a joke), honestly make me very uncomfortable.. I mean he's so awful and manipulative and abusive, and seeing people completely dismiss this behavior really irks me

This is gonna be split into two sections: What I find appealing about Tsurumi as a fic writer, and why canon both appeals and sickens me, since it’s being misinterpretted so heavily

1. In Fanfiction and AUs

I like him better in aus, to be honest. He’s really goddamn fun to write and read. I think me and fizzyspines are the only ones writing him as a villain in fics, but by God is it fun to slowly build up the tension and the plans, slipping that little niggling feeling of, “what if he’s telling the truth? Should we as an audience trust him and doubt the main heroes?” It’s an exercise in persuasion- through Tsurumi, can I as an author persuade the audience that these fucked up means are justifiable, or hell, even morally correct, to the ends? (They never are.)

And of course, because I am stupidly fond of this bastard, despite how much I hate him, there are a few aus I have where he isn’t a villain at all- he’s just a wacky extra, going through intense therapy and occasionally popping in to say hi. Aus like the modern au with Tsukishima having a dog sees him as settled down and working through shit, slowly working his way back to being somewhat like he was when he took on the name Hasegawa, and in the two theatre aus I have/share, he’s a Shakespearean method actor who uses his experiences and brain trauma to breathe new life into his performances.

He does have a certain versatility to him if you take the time to work out his backstory in different aus and provide support systems which keep him from becoming violent or mad with power. The best way to differentiate a villain Tsurumi and a normal-dude-going-through-some-shit Tsurumi is the true power that they hold- if he’s in any military position or guard post, he’s likely to become powerhungry, because he has the taste of holding power over soldiers/civilians/prisoners/etc. If he’s, say, just some actor who is dedicated to his craft and rose solely on his merits, he doesn’t really have a need for that power, and can thus be somewhat tamer.

2. Overall and In Canon: the Problem with Trying To Excuse Tsurumi’s Behavior

Honestly, Tsurumi is… an interesting case for me- mostly because, in most other respects, I positively love the 7th Division and the characters within. Everyone knows my stance on Koito and Tsukishima already (namely, I love them), but people tend to be a bit surprised when I say I love Nikaidou and Usami too, and Edogai (I’ve made peace with it) as well. Even Maeyama, as short-lived as he was, lives on as the extra of my heart. I even like Tsurumi as a character on his own, because he’s a Damn Good Villain.

But by God do I hate Tsurumi-and-the-7th. Especially in canon.

You’re absolutely right about that abusive, manipulative behavior, and not only does it irk me when people completely gloss over that fact- it irks me when people act as if Tsurumi is Only That Way because of his brain injury. Newsflash, that’s not how brain damage works! Especially not frontal lobe damage! I’ve been studying this stuff for a while in school, and while it is possible for emotionality to change drastically as a result of damage, so many parts of the brain deal in emotionality that damaging just the frontal lobes isn’t usually enough.

Tsurumi shows far too much capacity for differentiating between right and wrong, is what I’m saying. It’s fairly obvious that he has a sense of what different outcomes will yield, and indeed, still has a goal that he wants to work towards. It’s important to recognize that the brain damage didn’t change his goals, and the reason why he acts the way that he acts is because he still has a lot of the personality that he had before the brain injury- he just has far, far less inhibition and more impulsiveness.

It’s also the reason why, despite Sugimoto going into psychotic breaks, he still generally comes back to his sweet, fun self. And as much as I love Tsukishima, I know that his warning to not become like Tsurumi isn’t the reason Sugimoto is restraining himself. The reason is that, in the end, Sugimoto’s original personality remains. Likewise with Tsurumi- it’s just that Tsurumi’s base personality is that of a piece of shit. The way Tsurumi treats his men, like dogs he’s trained, pisses me off so so much, you have no idea.

And we know damn well that Tsurumi has always been up to this manipulative shit- after all, he took Tsukishima off of death row and likely still holds that little fact over his head. He lied about Igogusa being alive for 9 years- and instead of, say, finding anyone else to work with him as translators (as I’m sure there were MANY available in the army) and setting Tsukishima free with perhaps the offer of helping him fake his death to give him a new shot at life (unsure of whether Tsukishima would take the deal, but if Tsurumi ever offered it, it would have been shown by now) he more or less traps Tsukishima with him.

And then, right as he’s about to be confronted and found out, he uses the fact that they’re caught in an explosion to his advantage as an “aha, have you now” moment- “I’ve saved you, you need me,”, that sort of message. And that proves that he’s been premeditating his colonizing of Hokkaido for a long, long time.

As for his appeal, I have to give credit where credit’s due- the guy is a master planner and a damn fun villain, and the way he plays off of other characters is great. He’s a fascinating character, because in a lot of ways, when he’s shown alone, he isn’t nearly as interesting- like when he’s standing over the floor of skins before Karafuto arc. It really does speak to how much of his behavior around others is calculated to be just so. However, to dismiss all of these parts, or worse- to say that he’s actively helping all the men he comes across- is to deny him a great part of his character, and glorify him into being something he’s not. Then, all that does is suck the life out of any character that’s even standing next to him, and ignoring all the wrong shit he does.

Moreover than all of that… it’s incredibly dangerous thinking. It both demonizes those with brain trauma and strips them of their responsibility in equal measure- by saying that Tsurumi is just the way he is “”because of his injury!!! dont be so ableist and mean >:(” is to say that all people who have parts of their frontal lobes removed are going to become violent, genocidal sociopaths manipulating any person that may even vaguely constitute a loved one.

To say that it’s because of his injury also denies that Tsurumi is a cold, calculating individual, and excuses all his shitty behavior as “oh, well, he just doesn’t know how to function properly!! It’s Alright, he Cares, In His Own Way”. No he does not. And the idea that “oh, he doesn’t know how to function properly” is a piss poor argument in the first place- just because someone doesn’t know how to act (or “make friends” or whatever- I’ve seen this argument used with Ogata too) does not excuse NOR EXPLAIN FULLY the behavior that they exhibit. If these characters do not have the capacity to act and function in ways that don’t hurt people, and if they are not reaching out for help in some way and are not trying to actively better themselves, then they have NO BUSINESS being around anyone.

And let’s face it- Tsurumi loves being the way he is. He’s not changing for shit.

tl;dr: Interesting character, too bad people use his brain trauma as an excuse for the atrocities he commits when the trauma isn’t what ultimately causes him to do abusive, manipulative shit. Tsurumi’s a piece of shit, but he’s a fun piece of shit

#golden kamuy #tsurumi tokushirou #first lieutenant tsurumi #7th division #meta #just my onions uikhkv #but yea brain injury does not excuse or fully explain abusive behavior lol and its wrong to think that

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kz-i-co · 6 years

Text

Until Dawn

Spin off of Dyling LIght: Part 1 | Part 2

» Summary: He’s reckless, careless, but he might be the hero you fall in love with at the end of the day.

» Pairing: Min Yoongi (suga) / Reader

» Genre: Angst/fluff - zombie au

» Words: 5.2k

» A/N: I would recommend reading at least Dying Light Part 2 to read this story, for those who haven’t. This story basically starts off in Part 2 where you meet Yoongi’s character.

»Part 2

» m.list ╫ bts masterlist

"She kicked me out, for the second time now." He sighed. "She's just playing hard to get."

He looked towards his only open ears. "Don't look at me like that." He spoke to the brainless zombie. "I'm not untieing you." He threw out his cigarette and crushed into under his boot.

"Huh, I see you invited some of your friends." He untied the zombie from the tree. "You're free go to them." He spoke and the zombie came right towards his.

He walked backwards to stay away. "Not to me." He kept walking and the other herd of zombies came towards him. "Go home." He teased and stuck his foot out tripping the zombie.

"My bad." He laughed. "Whatever follow me all you want." He turned around facing forward down the long lonesome road.

"Let me know if you guys get tired." He smirked.

The herd kept growing bigger as 3 more no 4 more would approach the more he walked. 30 following the most but all Yoongi did was laugh.

As the sun was setting he stopped suddenly as the zombies had a chance to catch up. "Its getting dark." He said and started walking towards the forest. Half through the forest, he noticed a small trap enclosure that was hooked to the tree.

He looked at the handy work and just smirked in amusement. "Amatures."

He stepped on the trap, getting pulled up in the net purposely. He felt comfortable in the net, almost like a hammock. He put his arms behind his head and started closing his eyes.

You walked through the woods, scouting for food until you heard the growl of multiple zombies. You snuck around the trees and saw tons of zombies trying to reach your filled net that was hung in the tree. You couldnt make out the person stuck inside but you saw no movement.

You catch the zombies attention and they started coming towards you. You picked up your riffle and shot the 20 or 30 zombies that were lingering by. Your gun had a silencer so you didn't have a problem bringing more attention towards you.

You picked up a pebble and threw it towards the net.

"Ow." He said.

You recognized the voice. "A.D?"

"(Y/N/N)." He sat up. "Are you following me? I knew you liked me."

"No idiot. This is my trap." You smirked.

"Oh." He laughed. "Its your trap."

"What's so funny?"

"I thought maybe you recruited a 10 year old or something." He said laying back once again.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Its not that good, it's barely even hidden." He complained.

"But you got caught?" You were confused.

"I wanted some sleep."

"You are unbelievable." You mumbled to yourself.

You still couldn't figure out this guy. He goes around carelessly and gets caught but he managed to still be a badass. You didn't understand him. The actions he chooses would get a normal person killed, but yet he is still around, unharmed. He was interesting enough that you were curious of what he did before the outbreak.

"You have two groups out there trying to kill you, why do you linger around?" You asked.

You saw his hand appear out of the net holding a knife and then he threw it at the tree getting him down with no problems. He stood up and took his knife out of the tree. "Lucky I didn't land on my machete, that wouldn't be pretty." He laughed placing his knife back into his pocket.

"Why are you still here." You were only a few miles away from your camp.

"Stop acting like you don't know." He walked closer to you that once you stepped back, you ran into a tree.

"What?"

"Its because I like you, thought that was obvious." He leaned in forward and gave you an intense stare.

"Why me?" You asked feeling flustered for a second but then gently pushed him away.

"Because you fascinate me." He turned around as he heard a zombie sneaking up behind him. He kicked it's shin, causing it's leg to break and crawl around.

He slammed his foot to its head, killing it instantly.

"You barely know me." You continued your conversation.

"Did you forget I was welcomed into your group?"

"Only for a week until they found out you're a spy, then they locked you up trying to kill you." You said.

"I'm not a spy. I left that group for obvious reasons." He looked serious.

"Try convincing that to my uncle." You folded your arms.

"Why should I? I don't want to be apart of his cult anyway." He snipped.

"But you never leave." You arched your eyebrows.

"I do.....I wander around." He shrugged. You just raised your eyebrows once again. "I don't want to leave you."

You laughed. "You're acting like I'm your girlfriend."

"You can be, all you have to do is ask." He smirked.

"Yeah right."

He knew deep down you cared for him, even though you convinced yourself not likely. He was a nuisance and his crush was a little out of hand.

"If you're so afraid of terminus, then why protect them, why won't you tell my uncle where they are." You said.

"I'm not afraid."

"Then what is it?"

"I still have family in there." You looked at him in pain. You had no idea. "I was lucky to escape, and now they have them locked up probably waiting to hack them up into stew." His tone was angry.

"You want to get them back?" You asked.

"Yeah."

"Then let us help you."

"I don't trust your group, all you do is blow up building's thinking that is some kind of solution, you will probably only get them killed." You were taken back by what he said.

"Let me help you, just me."

"I can't let you." He said.

"Why?"

"I don't want you getting hurt."

You gave him a sly glare. "Really? I can handle myself." You gestured to the graveyard of zombies scattered around you.

"Doesn't matter, I can't let you get involved with these people."

"But, I-"

He pulled you into him unprepared, slaming his lips towards yours. You felt something unusual as he kissed you, something you couldn't explain.

He pulled away suddenly, smirking once again being cocky he took your breath away. "Please shut up."

Then he walked away.

"Hey." You followed him.

"Wait, you're following me?" He turned around for a second them continue on his way.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna sneak in and get my friends out."

"How are you gonna pull that off?" You asked causing him to turn around suddenly and give you an unamused glare.

"You seriously asking that?"

"But you've always gotten caught by us?"

"Sometimes you act like the smartest person I know but then you ask these dumb questions." He said causing you to pout. "I got caught on purpose, just to see you.....Well also I like to fuck with you guys.....your uncle's hilarious when he's pissed off." He laughed. "Like throwing that zombie at me? That was the best one yet."

"I don't get you."

"That's probably a good thing, since my life is so complicated." He turned around and started walking again.

You didn't know what was happening to you. The more you observed him the more you were feeling emotionally connected.

....

You both stopped for a break, sitting on the railing of the nearby bridge.

"So here's the question of the day, do zombies float?" He asked getting up.

"Is this your life, just playing around with stupid zombies?" You asked watching as he was close to the edge of the bride where it was split down the middle. He whistled to a nearby zombie to get its attention.

"Sometimes you need to have fun so you don't go crazy."

"I feel like you're already hit crazy." You giggled causing him to glare.

You smiled watching him take the zombie and pushing it off the bridge straight into the water. You started laughing until he glanced at you. You tried to hide your laughter instantly to show him you weren't enjoying his company. You hated the fact that you were starting to get affected by him. He was already cocky saying you liked him, you didn't want to prove him right.

"They dont." He walked back over. "Am I hallucinating or did I see you laugh?"

"Why would I laugh at one of your stupid tricks?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I didn't." You argued.

He sighed. "I wish you would just admit it already?"

"Admit what? You're an idiot." Now you laughed.

"That you like me."

"Stop saying I like you." You turned away.

"Then why didn't you pull away when I kissed You?" He leaned forward giving you butterflies.

"I-I."

"What?" He asked being more cocky.

"I was in shock that's why." You got up.

"Because I'm such a good kisser." He smiled.

You growled frustrated pushing a zombie off the bridge.

"I need to get going anyway." He started. "I'm almost at the entrance."

"What entrance?"

"Terminus." He said.

"Its this close?"

"Yeah, it's probably only an hour walking distance near your camp."

You got chills up your spine. You had no idea it was this close. He stopped at a sewer lid in the middle of the street.

"This is the entrance?" You asked.

"No but this is how I will sneak in." He spoke.

"Wait, you're going now? Why don't you wait until we make up a plan or something." You said almost panicking.

He looked at you with confusion. "I never plan, I just do."

"How do you survive this long?"

"I'm just lucky, that's all." He said quite sad to your surprise.

"I'm not letting you do this right now. You need to eat, have a good night's sleep, more ammo."

"Are you worried about me?"

"No." You folded your arms.

"Then give me one reason why I shouldn't do this right now."

You panicked. Why were you being so stubborn? Just say it. Then he will win.

He leaned down opening the entrance. "I don't want you to get hurt okay."

"How come?" He stood back up with a dumb grin on his face.

You didn't know what to say. You were tongue tied. "That's good enough for me." He grabbed your hand and led you towards your camp.

"I'll sneak in your window." He went around the building.

"Wait how do you know which room is mine?" You asked.

"I know the blueprints of your whole building." This guy.

"Okay." You walked inside deciding not to question. You gave the signal at the gate and they let you in.

"Got anything?" One of the guys said.

"Nope, someone ruined all my traps."

"Do you know who?" They asked.

"Nope." You shrugged trying not to smile.

You tried to avoid everyone to get to your room as fast as you could. Once you entered your room. He was sitting on your bed looking through your massazines.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Just curious of what you read."

"You know there is another bed over there." You said.

"I like yours." He smiled.

"I will hurt you." You leaned down about to grab his collar but he pulled you down first and turned you over so he was laying right on top of you. You couldn't help but be hypnotized by him.

"Let me come with you tomorrow." You spoke finally getting out of your trance.

"No." Was all he said.

"I'll let you kiss me again." You bargained.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I can be a big help."

"If you come with me, you better do what I say and no complaining or acting on your own." He said.

"Okay."

He leaned down about to kiss you but you held up your hand. He looked at you confused and impatient.

"I didn't say when." You smiled and rolled over letting him fall off the bed. He sat up and stared at you disappointed. "We get out of this alive tomorrow, I'll do more then kiss you." You smirked, rolling away from him.

It was the first time you had him speechless. He smiled to himself and walking over to the other bed. He was prepared to get a good night's sleep.

He woke up before the sun and snuck out of your camp without waking you. He traveled to the Ember camp sneaking in no problem. He went to J-Hopes room seeing him no where to be found until he thought of another option. He went to the room he knew he should be in and stood corrected seeing him curled up in bed with the girl he met at your camp.

He tapped J-Hope, covering his mouth quickly so he wouldn't get startled. "I need your help." Yoongi whispered.

He rubbed his eyes getting up. J-Hope moved as slow as possible so he would wake his girl up. He grabbed some things leaving the room in silence. J-Hope got dressed quickly and grabbed weapons.

"Are you gonna explain to me?" He asked.

"Did she tell you about terminus?"

"Yeah."

"I need to take them out, but I need help."

"How are we going to do this?" J-Hope asked. "I mean, it's just us."

"I have a plan." Yoongi said and they snuck out of the Ember camp.

They walked down the road until they reached the sewers. "Okay so what's the plan?"

"I haven't thought about it yet."

"What?" He said alarmed.

"No worries, I have explosives." He opened the lid.

"Great idea." J-Hope said sarcastically.

"But I have people to save first." He jumped down.

"Ew, why the sewers man?" J-hope made a face of disgust.

"Because this leads right to their basement.....but I'm sure it will be guarded."

"Is this like a suicide mission, because I'm not down with that?" J-Hope clicked on his flashlight and wrapped a face mask to avoid as much smell as possible.

"Be careful, there could be zombies in here."

"Great, but you didn't answer my question." J-Hope spoke again feeling anxious. "A.D."

"I don't plan on dying." He answered. "Also can I ask a favor." He stopped in his tracks.

"What?"

"Can your camp take in my friends?"

"Sure man." J-Hope agreed. "You're welcomed as well.....Krane wants to give you the master bedroom for what you did for us." J-Hope laughed.

"I'm flattered, but I have another bed I rather sleep in." He smiled to himself.

"That girl, that helped us? It looked like you were in prison there dude."

"Yeah, I'm not welcomed there, but I like to sneak in for fun." Yoongi said.

"Well, you can stay with us officially and you can sneak in and out as you please." J-Hope said causing Yoongi to smile.

"Sounds good." He gave him a high five which triggered a zombie to appear out of the darkness.

Yoongi was quick to approach him with his machete but as soon as he reached him a knife took him out right in the eye. Yoongi looked back at J-hope in amazement.

"You're good with knives." Yoongi took it out and handed it back to him.

"Just a little." He smiled.

"I killed most of them last time I was down here but who knows." Yoongi stopped in front of a latter that was drilled into the stone wall. "Just through there."

"Thought of a plan yet?"

"You're good at sneaking in and out of places, that's why I wanted your help. I want you to place these cans in every room. It's 3 in the morning so everyone should be sleeping. I'm going into the prison to get my friends out."

"Once you placed every can, come back here and if I'm not back.....leave."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I should be back before you but if I'm not dont worry about it, just get away from here as fast as you can." Yoongi made it clear.

"Okay."

"You read-" Just as he spoke they heard something coming this way in the water. Yoongi helded up his hand to keep quiet.

They both slowly moved to the corner of the sewer as they saw a flash light coming this way. When it got close enough Yoongi jumped out and a scream was heard.

"(Y/N/N) What the fuck are you doing here?" Yoongi almost shouted.

"What the fuck are you doing, you said I can help you?" You snapped.

Yoongi rubbed his forehead frustrated. "Please leave."

"No."

"Hi." J-Hope waved awkwardly.

"Why does he get to help you?" You were getting more frustrated.

"Because."

"Because why, I'm capable-"

"I don't want you getting hurt. Why don't you understand." Yoongi snapped. "Please just stay here."

"What if you get hurt?" You said feeling upset.

"Then I get hurt, as long as these people pay for what they did."

"You're gonna just risk your life like that?"

"I'm not worried about it." He spoke. "I've made it out of tough situations before."

"You told me you survive because you are lucky, your luck is bound to run out someday." He didn't want to look at you.

"Then that's the risk I'm willing to take."

"Why are you doing this?" You said weakly. "What about our promise?"

"I'm not saying I'll break that promise." He smiled.

"I will let you help but dont complain." He tilted your head up to look at him. "Come on."

They went up the stairs. The basement looked pretty empty.

"Here's the plan." He started. "J-Hope is putting these cans all over the place, they are basically explosives okay?" You nodded. "I'm going to get my friends which is right up those stairs. Once you see J-Hope, turn this knob here." He showed you were it was.

"What does this do?" You asked.

"You'll see." He said with no hint of emotion in his expression.

"What if you're not back?"

"Just turn it if you see J-Hope, that's the only instructions I'm giving you."

"Okay." You said nervous.

"Ready?" He looked at J-Hope and he went up the basement stairs ready to do his part.

"Please make it back."

"Don't worry." He looked at you with a concerned look.

He was about to head up the stairs but you stopped him. "I know this is a bad time but-" You started.

"What?" He asked.

You stepped closer bringing your lips towards his. "Please be careful."

"You like me." He said with a smirk causing you to roll your eyes.

"Just hurry." You pushed him.

As soon as Yoongi snuck around the corner he saw the entrance to the prison lock up. He saw Simon guarding. He always hated that guy.

He went around greeting him not caring about being sneaky. "Hey Simon what's up." The guy had his gun out immediately. "Is that necessary?"

He walked closer. "You know your safety is on."

Simon looked down at his gun and Yoongi slammed it against his temple knocking him out instantly. "Idiot."

He grabbed the keys unlocking the door. "Suga!"

His friends greeted. "V." He unlocked his chain and went around to wake up Jin and JK. Once they woke up they looked at their friend with happiness.

"Where's RM and Jimin?" He asked.

"They make RM make bullets, so he sleeps next to the weapon room." Jin said.

"What about Jimin?" He asked.

"Garrett took Jimin a few days ago." V said in pain.

Yoongi slammed his fist against the door. "Come on, let's go." Yoongi started.

He lead them to the basement floor. "Get down there, I'll be back....I'm going to get RM." He said and ran down the hall.

The weapon room was locked so he had to sneak into the leaders room to get it. He groaned to himself but got there as quick as possible. He snuck in as quietly as possible. He opened the drawer and retrieved the keys and made his way out of the room. He unlocked the weapons room waking up RM.

"Suga?"

"Get to the basement right now." Was all he said.

"Okay." He grabbed a few weapons. "Wait, did you get the others?"

"Yes, they are there already." He spoke.

"What about Jimin?" RM asked.

"He's still alive?" Suga asked.

"Yeah, he's in the wreck room." Suga couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was the room where they kept the zombies chained up to keep other zombies away.

"Why?"

"He spat at Gareth, when he said you betrayed us."

"Get to the stairs I'll get him." Suga said and ran to the right direction. He unlocked the room and was hit with the smell immediately.

He saw Jimin in the corner sleeping but the worst part was how beaten up he looked. He must of been getting tortured.

He ran over to him as soon as possible and picked him up. "Suga." He said weakly.

"I'm here." He put his arm around his shoulder since he was too weak to walk. He noticed his weight change as well breaking his heart. "These assholes are gonna pay, don't worry."

Halfway down the hallway a loud noise rang through the hallway and a sharp pain hitting Yoongi's shoulder. He collapse dragging poor Jimin down with him.

"I thought I would see you again." Gareth said coming closer holding the gun in his hand.

"Suga, get up." Jimin shook his friend.

Yoongi tried to get up but the bullet wound in his shoulder was too painful to resist. "You need to get out of here right now, go to the basement." He told Jimin as quietly as possible before Gareth reached them. "Go." He yelled.

Jimin cried for his friend but went in the right direction and tripped from being so weak.

Gareth had the gun pointed at him but before he could shoot and knife came flying towards his back.

He fell to the floor as the gun slid across the floor. J-Hope was right at Yoongi's side trying to help him up.

"No, help Jimin out please." He begged.

"What about you?"

"I'm fine, I need to deal with him before I leave." He watched as Gareth pulled the knife out of his back. He started to get up.

J-hope did what he was asked and helped his friend out.

.....

"J-Hope where is A.D?" You asked as soon as you saw J-Hope and a light colored haired boy.

"Turn the knob."

"Where-" You kept asking.

"He's been shot."

As soon as he said those words, your whole existence froze in fear. Your face started to swell as tears came down your cheeks in the matter of seconds.

J-Hope was about to turn the knob but you stopped him. "No."

You were about to run up the stairs but J-Hope grabbed onto you tightly. "(Y/N/N) listen to me, we need to turn this on or we will all die."

"I cant leave him."

"We have to, it's what he wanted."

"No." You cried.

J-Hope turned the knob and a few seconds later the first explosion went off, then the second. "We need to get out of here now."

"No." You cried, but J-Hope dragged you out back down to the sewers. As soon as you were all inside, you heard the last explosion come above your head.

You felt like you couldn't breath from the tragic loss. But J-hope carried you on his back the whole way.

As soon as you reached outside, the sun was starting to set. You all watched the building erupt with fire and zombies in the distance go closer. You all looked at the building with sadness in your eyes.

"Come on." RM started and you all turned around heading in the opposite direction.

You hoped off J-Hopes back and followed the boys slowly. You decided to turn around one last time and as you did you saw a figure walking through the grass.

Your face lit up with relief as you saw Yoongi walking. He was weak and started to fall in the grass.

"A.D." You ran to him as fast as you could. The boys late reaction had them a few inches behind you.

As soon as you reached him you noticed his blood soaked shoulder. He was dying.

"No please get up." You cried.

He held his hand up holding yours tightly. "You like me." He said weakly.

"Yes, I like you idiot." You leaned down kissing him passionately. "Please get up."

"Its Okay."

"No, it's not, you aren't allowed to die."

Jin leaned down checking his pulse. "We don't have much time, we need medical supplies quickly."

"My camp isn't far form here." J-Hope said.

"We better hurry, if he is going to make it." RM picked him up and carried him on his back. They ran as fast as they could to the camp.

....

Once you reached the camp J-hope did the signal and the gates opened.

"He needs a doctor right now."

You followed the boys as they lead him to the nurses office, where the doctors stayed.

"A.D?" You asked as soon as RM put him down on the table. He wasn't responding. "Why isn't he moving?" You cried.

The doctor leaned down with the stethoscope listening. "He's still with us, but his heart is beating very slow."

He hooked him up to an IV. "I'm not sure how long he has."

You jittered with panic. "(Y/N) Come with me." J-Hope said. "Just in case."

You nodded and left with J-Hope. He figured if he passed, you shouldnt be there to see it.

You sat as J-Hope got you some water. "He told me he couldnt die." You shook in fear.

"He's brave.....and reckless."

You bit your nails with more tears streaming down your face. "J-Hope?"

You both looked up and you noticed it was the girl that you helped break free only a week ago. J-Hope stood up and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kiss her sweetly.

"Where were You?"

"We got rid of terminus. Or A.D did."

"A.D? Is he here?" She asked.

"He was shot, he's getting treated." J-Hope said keeping his voice down.

She looked at you with sadness seeing how broken you were. "I hope he is okay."

"Me to."

You woke in the middle of the night, feeling broken once again. The Embers were nice enough to let you stay the night. You snuck out your room and made your way down the hall until you stopped into the nurses office, or at least that's what is was before the outbreak.

You opened the door and saw the first bed lied Jimin as he was weak as well. He was in a deep sleep so you walked past him slowly to not wake him. You then made your way to the last bed seeing Yoongi. You went up to him and gently put your ear to his mouth to make sure he was still with you. You smiled painfully feeling the soft breath of air.

You held his hand feeling him warmly. "Please be Okay." You whispered as more tears made their way down your face.

"You're so annoying, cocky, arrogant, and stupid, but I'm glad you came into my life." You wiped your tears. "I cant live without you."

You felt his hand tighten around yours and you looked at him instantly. "(Y/N/N)?" He said softly.

"A.D?" You leaned forward.

"Yoongi." He spoke.

"What?"

"That's my real name." You couldn't stop your tears from falling.

"(Y/N)."

"That's a beautiful name." You smiled just hearing his voice. "Stop crying....I'll be okay."

He coughed softly. "Like you said, my luck had to run out eventually." His voice was so weak it broke you.

"This is luck just hearing your voice." You lift his hand to your mouth kissing it softly.

You slept there the rest of the night with him holding your hand.

~One week later~

"Where do you go all the time?" Your Uncle asked you.

"Looking for stuff, like food, medicine, weapons."

"We have plenty." He said.

"Sometimes I just like to go for a walk, not be so cooped up in here." You explained.

"Be careful."

"I know." You left and didn't look back.

....

You gave the signal to the gate and they let you in. The Embers had welcome you in with open arms. They were a great establishment. Very friendly people and you wish you could be here full time but you were forced to stay with family.

You walked to the hospital and saw Yoongi sitting in bed with a pillow over his face. You walked over gently touching him and he sat up staring at you. "Thank God, take me away from him."

Jimin looked at him sadly. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"You just talk to much."

"I missed you, is that so bad?" Jimin pouted.

"Stop being mean to your friend." You smiled. "Can you walk?"

He got up slowly. His arm was in a brace. "Its just sore."

"Looks like you still have a while to recover....that means your playing around with zombies gotta stop."

"Whatever." He said grouchy.

"You had to be the big hero, it's your own fault."

"They gave me a room." He said as you both walked down the hall. "But I still have to sleep in the doctors office for another week."

"Does that mean, you're staying for a while?" You looked at him hopeful. "My family is here now, I'm not going anywhere."

"But I wish you could stay here." He continued.

"I know, but I cant just leave my family." You said sadly.

"That's not a problem." You stopped as you reached a room.

"Wow. It's cute."

Since their was an old preschool, the walls were still colorful and there was letters all over the wall.

"I share with Jimin." He rolled his eyes playfully.

You laughed. "How adorable."

"He's okay I guess." He teased.

You went over to the bed laying down. "Your bunks are more comfortable then ours."

You sat up looking at him watching you. "How bad does your shoulder hurt?"

"It hurts less everyday."

"I made a promise to you." You smiled.

"The kiss? You already fulfilled that promise many times."

"But I said something else remember?" You bit your lip. "But I guess I'll have to wait until your injury is better."

He gave a questionable look. "Are you playing with me?"

"No, sorry."

He came over and sat on the bed as you leaned up to sit next to him. You kissed him as passionately as it was the last time. You never know in this kind of world. You always joked saying you wanted him to leave you alone but the little time you actually thought you lost him you couldn't live. He was important to you before you even knew it.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I wont."

"I mean it this time, no more dumb suicide missions. You can't do everything on your own."

"Okay." He smiled but then it turned to a frown quickly. "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"The leader of terminus, he was the one that shot me." You grabbed his free hand comfortably. "Before I could kill him the first explosion happened and the air was just dark and foggy that he ran off."

"Wait, are saying he's still alive?"

"Yeah, I need to find him, and kill him. Unless we are all in danger."

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the-weeping-fox · 4 years

Text

its been a while since I've wrote.

I've been working on myself. and my life. its the end of June. and I have to move out soon.

im scared, to be honest. really scared.

I've never moved like this. im scared no one will help. im scared that im alone. i... used to write to her. she was my... heart. she was my feelings. she was this... light.

but I know now all she was.. was a human.

a lot of my anger over her leaving me at the worst point in my life has.. subsided mostly. I dont really forgive her, but im not... as haunted anymore.

I've been fixing my life slowly. I got health insurance about a month ago. really scared. feel like I screwed it up or something. I feel so vulnerable all the time now. im so... desperate for positive affection. I feel like a scared little boy. some of my friends are helping, but im really worried.

anyhow. i might be moving in with my uncle. im hesitant about it.. he's great to me, i probably shouldn't be worried. im apartment searching alone. i feel... really alone.

I think about her a lot. not subconsciously anymore. took me a lot of months to figure that out even a little. now I can stave the thoughts of, but things crop up. like the fact she still follows me on Spotify. she probably has no idea, but im pretty observant. it still hurts. I think its always going to hurt. my friends have really helped me. I grew close to two newer friends in Covid. I really depend on them now, im not sure if they know.. or if I want to tell them. im so scared of being abandoned again that I can't bring myself to say anything that might scare anyone off. I find myself imagining what it would be like to run into her.. or talk to her.

she deleted her tumblr. so there's no more link here. this place exists as a space to openly talk to... myself. I probably should use it more.

I wonder a lot what I'd say to her. maybe we meet up in that trader Joe's parking lot to discuss things like we originally did.. but I can't help but think... I forced her into all this monogamy relationship shit. i was a rebound that lasted 8 years. she cheated on me before we were even together... i.. dont know why i gave my heart to her. I dont know why I tried so hard. I mean, the cheap explanation was Love. but i... i went so much farther. i... destroyed myself emotionally to forgive her. she was this.. beautiful devil that never understood how i felt. she.. would tell me the things I wanted to hear.. but it was all.. emulation. she never... understood what an apology was.. or how to fix a situation that was broken. her emotional empathy was....absent. I used to be mad about it. I think i still am to an extent. but as I get farther away... I feel... sad. i feel bad for her. I pity her.

it was hard to speak to her after the damage she caused. I was so mad. all I wanted to do was say things that hurt her. things that could make her feel like i felt. pushing her away when really... i needed her help so badly.

now its been... 4 months? 5 months? since we've talked. it was dificult.. but I know it was for the best. she... had been emotionally cheating on me during the end of 2019 when we were still... trying. one month after we quit, she was with someone else... after 8 years. thats... hard. I want to say more negative things about it.. but I leave it there.

maybe I never understood. I dont know if ill ever understand the concept of people who actively love more than one person. but i know that's due to my trauma.

I feel stupid calling it "trauma". like. as if I'm some wounded victim. but maybe.. i am. I feel the effects from it all. the PTSD over things. unfairly judging things, people, and even RACES over my own personal damage.

im working to get back into therapy. I dont want to feel lost like I do. I dont want to wake up and look at her and i's old sex videos. i.. love them, but its hurts to hear her voice. i still snear at black hybrids. i didn't call an apartment because it was too close to her old one. it physically hurts to drive near her old house. i still remember our last hug and sitting on that bench.. crying. I remember feeling so much stronger as a teenager. I think teenage me would be disappointed.

i... want to talk to her, but I don't think its a good idea. I dont think anything good will come from it. I have new interests and new people and hearing about... her just... doing whatever she wants to benefit herself would only make me angry. im so angry over the effort I put into her dream vs how little she cared about mine.

when is that ever good? I don't care if your SOs dream is to be a stadium mascot. u better buy season tickets. she was so... self involved. i... needed her love.. but i don't really think she had any to spare.

I miss her. and I miss feeling all right.

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spideys-pack · 7 years

Text

Death(s) in Infinity War??!!

My purely speculative ideas on what might happen to our heroes.. I hope none of it happens but in my mind, it’s possible.. Lets hope no one actually meets these fates..

I don’t hate any of these characters, unless I state so, I don’t mean any beef with anyone because again, these are just ideas that have been bouncing around my head since the trailer was leaked.. I thought I might as well let my thoughts out instead of letting them consume me at 5am or while I'm trying to take a relaxing shower.

They aren’t in like a countdown order either, I just need to number them because you know... OCD. I DO SWEAR SO BEWARE IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT. Now, without further stalling. Lets get to it.

1. Vision

Vision is probably on everyone’s lists because of the same reason which is an Infinity Stone literally being in his face. Thanos needs the Infinity Stones to complete his gauntlet. Considering the Mind Stone has the biggest spot on the gauntlet, perhaps it gives him the most power? Anyways, I think Thanos will want to take the stone from Vision and I’m willing to bet like my left big toe that he wouldn't be gentle about it and Vision wouldn't be able to survive the process. That’s why he’s on my list.

2. Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch

As much as I hate to put Wanda on my list, it seems likely and makes sense that she could die or get seriously injured during Infinity War. Why? Because she may still be harbouring guilt over what happened in Lagos in Civil War. Yeah she did say to Vision that she couldn't control everyones fear and seemed to have accepted that she had made a mistake but I can’t help feel like because this is Wanda, one of the sweetest little smol beans in the MCU, she still feels bad about it and would die trying to prove to people that she is one of the good guys. That or her other most likely cause of death is trying to protect Vision from Thanos and dying in the process. I would honestly hate to see Wanda get hurt let alone die.

3. Drax The Destroyer

Everyone loves Drax and if you say you don’t you’re lying. But if you genuinely mean it... We can’t be friends. Perhaps everyone thinks Drax is going to die in Infinity war. Due to the fact that since the first Guardians movie he has been out for revenge for the death/killing of his family. That has been majority of his story arc. At first, he thought the killer and target was Ronan, the Accuser but in the first Guardians he declares Thanos the “real mission” after finding out Ronan was acting under his orders. Although Drax did literally punch Thanos’ heart out in one storyline, I feel like Marvel/the MCU won't let him get away with it and survive. I have a feeling they might kill one Avenger and one Guardian so each team has a reason to fight for one another or remain allies after the war. Drax will probably be the one to kill Thanos. That’s very likely. (But between you and I, I kind of hope it’s Nebula. After years of him shitting on her, I hope she seriously gets a few licks in or honestly fucks him up). Though he’ll probably be the one to do the deed, Drax will probably die doing it. This way, Marvel gets their victory and Drax gets his vengeance and doing so, is reunited with his family. But also saving his friends doing so. Making him not just Drax the Destroyer, but Drax the Hero.

4. Nick Fury

I know this one seems kind of far fetched, I mean I pitched it to one of my friends and she looked at me like I had sprouted a second head. Just hear me out though... So, basically The Avengers have broken up that’s obvious.

Side note: (For Friends fans...) It would be funny if like Cap or someone that got arrested because of Tony and his team brought it up and Tony just goes “We were on a break!” I would literally cackle myself into an early grave..

With the Avengers at odds, what could possibly bring them all together again emotionally more than physically? The death of Director Fury. I mean it worked for the first Avengers movie when Agent Coulson “died”. Since Fury has roots with pretty much all the Avengers, they may feel a need to unite to avenge Fury as well as protect the Earth but as a team. Marvel sometimes reuses plot ideas, perhaps they would do it for this one? Plus, Nick Fury is a fan favourite and it would no doubt have a very big emotional impact not only in the MCU but with the fans as well.

5. Thor

Now I would honestly rather rip my own intestines out of my ass than see Thor die. He’s one of my favourite characters from the MCU. He had the potential to be such a bruiting, tough guy character but instead we get our version and I couldn't be more in love with him. I mean this guy is literally a Norse God and he’s sitting there in his trailer telling Hulk/Bruce about how he “So much has happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer like, yesterday so that’s still pretty fresh.” Like this guy is literally huge and I love that he’s not serious. “Did I win?” “No. I won. Easily.” I was laughing the whole trailer. Just fyi. Anyways, enough about my crush on Thor...

I hate to think that we could lose Thor. But, his death makes too much sense. The Thor movies don't make as much as the others (Cap, Iron Man). After Ragnarok, The Thor movies are done. Ragnarok ends his individual storyline. The movie also brings Asgard into the war. It’s likely Marvel will kill off Thor because they had even said they wanted to switch up the Avengers team line up, and getting rid of Thor who is one of the strongest could prompt the Avengers to recruit not one but multiple heroes to fill his place. My theory us sadly also backed up by the fact that Thor/Chris Hemsworth is not yet confirmed for the following Avengers or Marvel movies. Perhaps he has signed a contract and they’re keeping it under raps because they know we look into that shit but that could also be my wishful thinking...

6. Tony Stark / Iron Man

*Collective gasps from the crowd*

No, but seriously Marvel loves to build us up but then (hulk)smash us down. Think about how involved and intertwined Tony is with the whole MCU. He’s such a big character and he does a lot for the heroes. Plus, Marvel has launched a comic reboot storyline where Iron Man is now an Iron WOman. And let’s be honest, everyone is crawling over each other to get media attention over being supportive of women/races/LGBTQ... So, they would most likely kill Tony to bring in Riri Williams. Not only will this get them even more media coverage BUT it also allows them to send a huge shockwave throughout the MCU. With Tony being at odds with Cap and most of the Avengers, and him having a son-like figure in his protege, Peter Parker... He has people to leave behind and mourn in other movies. Tony Stark’s death would change the MCU a lot. But maybe too much? I’m still iffy on this one.

7. Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow

There’s no denying that Nat is a fan favourite. She’s also just about as much interweaved with the MCU as Tony. Appearing in several films, she is a huge supporting character but as much as we try, she's a supporting character and is in a group with heroes like Vision and Hawkeye where they are the most likely not to get stand alone films. She seems to always play a big role in the victory of the team we’re supposed to root for, An example would be when she helps Steve and Bucky get passed T’Challa in Civil War.

Side note: I would love to link this to the fact that Bucky and Natasha have a history. In the Comics that is, it isn't canon in the movies but I would also like to link Nat saying “You could at least recognize me” to Bucky in Civil War to that as well. Considering Nat and Bucky were romantically involved briefly, that could be an interesting arc considering whatever she has/had with Bruce. Either way, I would love Red Room flashbacks or even a movie...

It seems likely that Nat could get killed trying to help everyone with the war. Considering she is one of the team members who doesn't have powers... Thanos could easily, and regrettably rag doll the shit out of everyones favourite red head.

8. Bruce Banner / The Hulk

MARVEL. FUCKING. WOULD.

They would take Bruce “I know, I tried” away from us. One of Marvel’s biggest hard-hitters who also needs to be protected at all costs. For as long as he’s been in the MCU, Hulk has been seen as the tank. “We have a Hulk”. Perhaps during the Infinity War, our heroes over estimate Bruce and he goes up against Thanos and ends up dead because of it.

9. Thanos

Marvel has a tendency to kill off their villains before they necessarily should. I admit, I haven't even met MCU’s Thanos and I already want this mother fucker to get dropped but I would also love to see Marvel develop a villain. The only villain(s) they’ve really developed are Loki and The Winter Soldier and majority of us would argue that these two are not villains. They are pretty much the only two however who have been on the opposing side of our heroes and survived to come back and/or develop. Loki jumps back and forth between good and evil and Bucky was never truly evil, he was brainwashed. The other ones like The Red Skull and Obadiah Stane/War Monger die in fiery explosions before we even get to experience their full story. Although we spend most of their movies hoping and wishing for it. I just hope Marvel gives Thanos enough time to develop outside of the post-credit scenes before the Avengers and Guardians eventually bring him down, if they even do that in Infinity War.

10. Steve Rogers / Captain America

The thought of losing Cap really hurts, especially since he just got his bestie Bucky back. Although we all know this is going to happen. Chris Evans has been reported saying that he has indeed signed one more contract with Marvel after reading it over and feeling that one more movie was needed to wrap up Cap/Steve’s story. My thoughts are, what exactly is stopping Marvel from offing him in Infinity War and just making him majorly flashback-type scenes in the next one. We all know both Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes have dawned the Cap suit and Shield but he true question would be exactly who is Marvel’s choice? Perhaps Cap will in fact die in Infinity War and it will be Bucky who takes up the mantle and the only reason we see Steve is through Bucky’s returning memories as he tries to handle being Cap?

11. Loki

Loki is another one of my favourites, only due to the fact that I’m weak when it comes to misunderstood villainy... *cough* Jason Todd *cough* It’s not just me who has succumbed to the seduction of the God of Mischief and his constant knack for well... Mischief. Loki has died in the MCU but he always seems to come back. If Marvel is planning on keeping Thor around, having Loki actually die just might break him if they want to pro sue a more serious angle, we’ve seen what Loki’s death does to Thor. Perhaps having Loki die after he presumably gives over the Tesseract may fuel Thor with enough rage to be one of the potential people to take Thanos out..

12. Nebula

Nebula is a likely casualty of the Infinity War. Simply because of her role in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

Or, perhaps she plays a much larger role in Infinity War. In one storyline Nebula steals the Infinity Gauntlet and sabotages Thanos betraying him. If Nebula does this, Thanos could easily kill her. After she was humanized in GOTG Vol. 2, this might be an emotional trauma Marvel could want to inflict on Gamora. Gamora has a possibilty of playing a big role in the destruction of Thanos but having her lose her sister who she kinda patched things up with... That could give her the edge she needs. Despite how much I want to see more of Nebula and have more development for her, this seems possible.

13. Sam Wilson / Falcon

Sam Wilson would honestly in my opinion, be a tragic loss. His character was amazing from his first 30 seconds on screen. He has heart and humour and it’s hard not to love his character but that’s also a moth to flame with Marvel. They might kill off Sam to not only hurt Steve but also promote Bucky to have something to avenge after Steve dies and he has to become Captain America. We’ve already seen Bucky throw himself in front of Sam to take the brunt of a hit from Spidey so maybe, just maybe there’s some sort of friendship there and killing one of them might trigger Bucky’s need to become an Avenger kicking off a storyline that could support Marvel’s 9 contract deal with Sebastian.

14. King T’Challa / Black Panther

Why T’Challa? You ask... Well, as much as I would like to say it’s because Chadwick is just too precious for this world and be done with it, I must make a point.. Marvel probably won’t want to have two multi-billionaire badasses with equally badass suits in play. This is assuming they don't kill Tony, perhaps they will kill T’Challa? Again, this goes back to my theories surrounding Sebby Stan’s 9 contract deal. I think it’s very likely they have chosen to follow the storyline of Bucky becoming Cap after Steve is gone. From the Infinity War trailer, it looks like Bucky is settled in with T’Challa and the Wakandans. Or is that just me? Perhaps Bucky decides to stay in Wakanda. After all, the world isn't exactly welcoming him with open arms at the moment.. How do they get Bucky out of Africa so he can become Captain America? They kill off T’Challa. His only tie to Wakanda.

I don’t know a lot about Chadwick Boseman’s contracts and I can’t seem to find anything but this again is one of my more iffy theories. I hope it doesn't come true, I love T’Challa, or what we’ve gotten so far, I hope we get a lot more.

15. Peter Parker / Spider-Man = Tony Stark Version 2?

I know, I know.. The thought kills me too. We just got our MCU Peter Parker and I think it’s safe to say, everyone loves having him.

I have Peter on my list not as a death though. I just think he’s going to get seriously injured. Marvel might just be baiting us with that whole trailer “Tony, I’m sorry.” snippet but at the same time, Peter getting injured makes sense to carry a certain plot line. *cough* Tony’s death *cough*. Tony stated in Spider-Man: Homecoming “And if you die, I feel like that’s on me. I don’t need that on my conscience.” Tony’s compassion and love for the people in his life is a special thing. Something I honestly love about Tony. But, it could be his downfall. In Ultron, we saw that Tony’s worst fear is the Avengers dying and the fact that he “Could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?”. Tony is a protector. So, having Peter around during the battle could be dangerous and potentially fatal for Tony. Peter has sort of become Tony’s surrogate son/protege and I don’t think he would let anything happen to him. If/when Peter gets injured in Infinity War, I think it will throw Tony off his game. He may feel guilty or worried about Peter and being distracted like that while facing someone like Thanos? Let’s just say if anything happens to Peter, we shouldn't just be worried about him, we should also be worried about Tony.

16. The Stark Era/Legacy

I swear to you, I don't hate Tony or RDJ. I just can't shake the thought that we’re going to have to say goodbye to him.

The MCU started with Tony, even if the earliest events take place in the 1940′s with Cap. It was a Stark that made Steve Cap. The Starks are rooted in the MCU and are the basic foundation of it. They’re heavily involved with all of the events of the MCU. This theory isn't entirely the death of Tony Stark but the death of Stark involvement.

Let me explain/paint a picture...

Captain America: The First Avenger: Howard Stark develops a serum that can turn an ordinary man into the ultimate soldier. Thus, creating Captain America which in turn saved America from destruction. And well, German rule. Howard’s super soldier was the one that took down The Red Skull before he could develop and distribute deadly weapons to Hitler and his Nazis. In doing so, the Americans and their allies were able to stop Hitler. Also, it was Howard who built that iconic shield and thought to build it from Wakandan vibranium.

Iron Man: Tony is running his father’s business seemingly where he left it. Using intellect no doubt inherited from his father, he develops weapons and other tech to continue to protect the world that Howard had helped protect in the 1940′s. The plot of Iron Man is showing Tony not only becoming Iron Man but Obadiah, becoming greedy with power and wanting to overthrow Tony. It was Stark tech that ended up saving Tony and America from terrorists and Obadiah.

Skipping forward to the Avengers...

The Avengers: It’s obvious that Tony had been playing with the idea of the Avengers with S.H.I.E.L.D. He doesn't say something like: “What the hell is that?” When Pepper mentions it. It also seems like it was Tony who had been talking to Pepper about it in the first place when she says “Which I know nothing about...” So obviously Tony had been part of coming up with the idea. So, we can thank a Stark brain for the Avengers too???

Avengers: Age of Ultron: No one lets us forget that Ultron was Tony’s fault. Especially Tony. “And then Ultron.. My fault.” (Civil War). Tony was scared for the safety of Earth and more importantly it seems, his team mates. After his vision of the Avengers laying dead and Cap accusing him of not doing enough Tony gets the idea to create the synthetic being that is, Ultron. His intentions were good but his execution faltered.

Captain America: Civil War: I won’t say that Civil War was Tony’s fault because it wasn't, it was equally Cap’s too for not wanting to sign the contract just as Tony did want to. It was a Stark who opposed the title character which carried the plot. And when all of the basic plot lines were complete, the big finale drawing the movie to a close for the final climax battle was because Tony found out Bucky had killed guess who under HYDRA’s control??

Howard and Maria Stark.

At the end of that fight, we see Cap give up his mantle to continue protecting Bucky. What was the reason to give up his mantle?

“That shield doesn't belong to you.You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!”

(Oh, yeah.. a little side note.. Go back to watch that fight scene and at the end when Steve helps Bucky up, Sebastian’s groan in that scene holy fuck, jesus on a tricycle it’s HOT.)

Spider-Man: Homecoming: Tony was the one who built Spidey’s new suit. He was also the one that gave Peter the idea that he was capable of a lot more than stopping “grand theft bicycles”. I mean he held his own against THE Captain America. In one scene Peter and Tony start to argue and Peter’s reasoning for all of his behaviour throughout the movie was because: “I just wanted to be like you.” So, Peter’s mistakes and actions throughout his movie were rooted from the fact that he just wanted to be like Tony.

Avengers: Infinity War: This movie hasn't even come out yet so I’m not going to act like I know Tony’s full involvement or whatever, but we do know that Peter is prepared for the war because of his brand new Iron Spider suit curtesy of you guessed it, Mr. Anthony Stark.

Also, Marvel might lean more towards this option because keep in mind, RDJ is getting hella expensive because even he knows how important he is to Marvel’s cinematic universe. They might lean more towards offing Tony to save themselves some cash..

Therefore, if Marvel really decided to kill off Tony, that would be the end of heavy Stark influence. Of course, the Starks would still be present but only as a memory and a company. There wouldn't be an actual Stark to back everything up or come up with new ideas. Unless Pepper is cooking up a little Stark bun in the oven, Tony’s death would mark the end of the Stark line, thus, lessening his influence in the MCU.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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s2g that moss has even been foreshadowing that lars was gonna get briefly killed like…not that specific but since we’re shown that the moss is lars and the flowers have a bit of gem in them…………

ppl are always weird about stuff everywhere smh but like…theres been obviously weird things like being way more ok with ancient beings ready to destroy all life on the planet than lars being too ill-tempered or doing something selfish like…i see that…. like lars doesnt need to be redeemed for anything jeez. every episode where he does something crap its on a minor scale vs like endangering lives or something and he gets k.o’d for it and then makes some sincere form of apology like? theres your redemption…i guess maybe people expect him to become acceptable overnight maybe but thats how people work and then every episode is like The Lesson of the Week instead of a closer look at a character and another step in their development as people figuring themselves out

like literally every character has issues smh! in like this and everything also but like….honestly lars has been a super self conscious and anxious teen from the start and really unhappy and like sometimes he does dumbass shit but who hasnt. if you think youve never hurt people you havent been paying close enough attention

anyways one of the things i really dont like? despite general overall stuff like teenaged lars momentarily losing his patience and realizing he’s in the wrong and immediately trying to make amends = him being judged more harshly than like….every millenia-old actually murderous actual antagonist introduced…. is that overall? its like really really clear really early on that he’s always struggling with a lot of mental health issues, and a common theme is irl people who really do have disorders pointing this out. like, that point can be made for every character in su and lars isnt The Mentally Ill One who alone represents the whole of the universal mental illness experience because obviously that doesnt exist and its a very unique and personal experience, and people dont have to directly relate to lars or any other character with such problems to verify their own. but lars and the cool kids is like super upfront about anxiety and he obv has really low confidence and low self worth and i’ll fight anytime about island adventure hinting strongly at depression—in addition to having him state outright that he feels lonely and isolated all the time. and like, he hates the job he works all the time, he’s not good in school, he and sadie feel an early connection but they obviously had to do a lot of work on that and step on each other’s emotional fingers along the way to finally get to where they are now—which i’m guessing is dating but without acknowledging so or at least not to others, he isn’t very close to his parents currently, he starts the series with 1.5 friends maximum and cant even approach the cool kids besides being desperate to be friends with them

like clearly he’s unhappy and for a while sadie and steven are probably the people closest to him even tho he is a lot more annoyed by steven at the start of things when steven is more little-kiddish than he is now…..but lars still acts mostly like himself around them But at the start him and sadie have too many complications and uncertainties to be really comfortable and again steven doesnt really come across as very mature, with lars pointing it out just now how stevens changed in that way, and it being difficult anyways for lars to confide in anybody

so like lars is and has always been super super defined and restricted by his fear of everybody he encounters, specifically being afraid of being hurt by them / fear of being disliked. i like to say that i think the way he prevents himself / his image is meant to be a way of controlling the reactions he expects people to have: i.e. making people dislike him is less scary/painful than being judged badly while hoping for the opposite. but i also never like saying that anyone who consciously cultivates their Look is faker than someone who doesnt put any thought into it, or is lying to themselves or others or whatever, i just would bet thats a part of it. but moreso than that, the fact that he’s irritable and ill-tempered all the time fits really well as a result of being so unhappy and afraid and trying to deal with it solo. it’s not about him not caring about people, when on an unrelated note but related-to-the-universal-human-experience he does something thoughtless or mean or just generally crosses a line, he notices immediately when someone feels hurt, and he’s shown to immediately feel bad, arguably to a fault and going too far with how guilty he feels. but anyways clearly even though he has the capacity to hurt people’s feelings, he’s very sensitive to that, he cares deeply when it happens, and he doesn’t want to hurt people. like apologizing with any genuine depth to it right off is an incredibly difficult task even for grownass adults, and lars is already really good at it. its wild that people think of him as super cruel and selfish when it’s clear that he’s very emotionally vulnerable and doesn’t have the capacity to callously disregard other people’s hurt feelings

anyways a point i’m taking a really long time to come around to is that lars is a really good example of someone who’s young and unhappy and isolated and really struggling with a lot of things and afraid of everything and the fact is that usually when youre looking for characters who are struggling with this kind of shit you get one-dimensional, maybe even one-episode characters like the person who shows up for the very special episode where everyone has a serious talk and learns a serious lesson and the Depression Character never shows up again, having gone off to be depressed somewhere else since we already know about depressed people. or depression and anxiety is something that can be solved literally overnight if you just confront the root cause, like eliminating the life problem that made x depressed or giving y a makeover or throwing them a surprise party to show them they have friends or something. or you learn that joe the bully is actually just physically violent because he is insecure, whoa man. or the Sad Kid is a running joke and a periphery character and their parents are getting divorced etc etc etc etc

the point is that lars is a main character and even when he learns things about himself that put him in a better place than when the episode began, his issues still don’t vanish (and i wouldnt be surprised if people use that as evidence that his character doesnt “grow”). and dealing with / revealing some of his issues arent a special episode, its just an episode, and its about him. he’s developed over and over and he’s shown to be a complicated person. he’s shown to enjoy things and have interests and a life. he’s a regular character as much as anyone else is, he isnt set aside in a special category

but the thing is that maybe people expect Mentally Ill™ characters to be more of the hamfisted media clichés with zero nuance and about as much accuracy to them? because there’s always the sweet-and-soft kind of person who’s surely dealing with mental illness acceptably because they make up for it by being pure and noble and something approximately like a newborn lamb. like depression is being maybe a bit cagey and avoidant and crying a lot and writing poetry (which will later be revealed as their secret talent!!) and sighing and generally just waiting for someone to approach them, very gently because they are shy and nervous like a fawn, and that savior will cure them with love and also with showing them how beautiful life is!!! and then they will start wearing more colorful clothes and they will be happy and the depression is over now, because someone just had to show their delicate, beautifully wounded soul the light

trauma? you can tell someone has Trauma because they act very stoic and strong 1000% of the time no exceptions but it is just a façade. they will never talk about The Thing. they will finally talk about the thing because someone pries about it with pure intentions and it is a big dramafest and theyve never talked about this before and everyone cries and its super serious and heavy and the person is a bit softer after that because they could finally let it out that one time. thanks, another savior. having disorders is just having turned away from the light

the point is that irl obviously things are very different and its rare to see people with such issues being treated the same as any other character and being able to grow in a realistic way and being able to have flaws the way that everyone else does, not having to be a pure defenseless dewy-eyed baby kitten who someone strong and Normal needs to rescue and put on the right path away from these problems forever. being pissed off and frustrated and confused but trying a lot of different ways to figure things out anyways is a lot more common, the way lars reacts to and deals with his vulnerability is a lot more realistic than just being a fairy-tale in-distress type figure. his character feels a million times more like he was developed by people who understand what its like to be experiencing what he does and developed for people who can relate to him, rather than being made by and for people who cant directly relate and who tend to make content thats wholly inaccurate and treats that kind of thing like an Other issue for Others that you only need to learn bullet points about because if its going to be a part of your life it’ll be a fleeting, one-time thing, not your everyday reality

i mean, its unsurprising that lars is actually pretty comfortable with steven now, given how long theyve known each other, but also how relentless steven is in being supportive of lars and treating him like a friend. its not surprising that it took lars this long to accept that, or that it was in part forced along by being stuck in a “we might die” scenario with steven. and its important to point out that this wasn’t just lars changing that made their relationship better, but steven growing as a person as well. if you put both if them in that situation during the start of the series, they could probably get along better than usual still, but you cant say that this is the first sign of lars developing any more than you can say this is stevens first development. lars has been struggling with himself just as steven has, although not in a fate-of-the-world way till now. lars couldnt be so conscious of his own fear and frustrated with it, and steven wouldnt have the maturity to do stuff like freakin sacrifice himself for earth by separating himself from the other crystal gems, much less lend lars the emotional support needed to give lars enough confidence to protect the off-colors

lars has been developing the whole time and even if people look at individual episodes and think lars learns nothing during them, i cant see how anyone could deny that this isn’t a turning point for lars as much as its the culmination of a gradual path he’s already been on. not to mention that “turning point” has implications like “redemption arc,” as if lars was inherently bad or worthless at the start of the series. he wasn’t; none of the characters were, but each character and all of their relationships were least developed of course. we see details and different sides of the donuts right away, and they both care enough about steven to treat him more as a little brother than a customer and to humor him sometimes. theyve always been important, and the fact that lars has always been a main character in the set of protagonists and that steven has always been a friend means that he cannot be converted by a “redemption” arc. he’s already there smh he’s always been there. seriously name one episode where he’s done something shitty and didnt do anything to make up for it. the only thing unresolved rn is he couldnt fight topaz for sadie, and he said himself he felt guilty over it, and it was already at that point the boldest thing he’d done and like, its not that unreasonable for a wisp of a teen to be terrified by a giant gem warrior that he had zero chance of doing anything to anyways. it wasnt glistening heroics but if thats gonna condemn lars like throw me in the pit too i guess. then he went and died for twelve individuals and left himself defenseless in hostile unfamiliar territory so that steven can go back to earth so thats something. but before all this alien drama like, again…..he’s always directly apologizing for shit and he’s just making everyday kinds of fuckups. he beats himself up about stuff. and gets beat up. and really like doesnt ever require an apology when he’s the one to get hurt, which isnt a requirement by any means and which is probably part of him thinking too badly of himself

the point? that maybe i still havent made besides saying i was gonna make it like half a dozen times?? is that lars is a really real portrayal of a person dealing with things in a real way. and its not the “pain is transcendent” thing where if someone is Suffering from mental illness it makes them wiser and kinder and holier than us regular people. its not where all you need to help someone with mental illness is one incidence of reaching out and telling them you love them and look at the stars and isnt it lovely. its not where disorders themselves are an arc and at the end, people’s personalities will be indistinguishable from that of those who never experienced what they did. its where dealing with this shit is normal and human and everyday and its not beautiful and its not gonna make other people “inspired” or get to feel good about themselves as your savior. its about pushing people away or having them avoid you anyways because they can hurt you in ways they can’t understand as being hurtful and shits confusing and sometimes kids will lash out and i bet lars was a lot more Difficult closer to stevens age than he is now. its about characteristics that seem ugly or repulsive or otherwise don’t directly cry out for help. its about shit staying with you even while you’re trying to figure out how to work through it. its about the unpleasantness of it all but also the real humanity behind it, not just using it as some device. lars’s problems are about lars and belong to him

and yeah of course he hurts people, but literally all the characters do; it has nothing to do with having disorders or not. everyone hurts each other even though they love each other, sometimes with the best intentions or 0% knowingly because they just have to figure out more things about themselves and each other. everything is about people making mistakes. lars is no worse in that matter than any of the other characters, he just happens to have a less appealing/inviting personality, god forbid less relatable. in the recent episodes he didnt have his usual defensive abrasiveness, even his frustration with steven in “stuck together” wasn’t that significant, and wasnt even much directed at steven. after that he was just scared, without it being masked by anger. he could be brave for the other gems because he knew he wanted to be brave and he knew how it felt for them to be so afraid and he was finally told that it was an okay thing that he still felt terrified. he could be completely himself with steven because of all the ways steven has gotten to know lars and refused to stop valuing him and how steven has grown to be someone who could protect others on his own in serious situations—which in this case included supporting lars emotionally as well as protecting him physically. if lars was dropped in that situation with the kid who just learned to summon his shield and was having an ice cream crisis five minutes ago, he couldnt trust or rely on him or count on him for encouraging advice. the way lars is in the wanted arc being so different from earlier episodes is as much about stevens development as lars’s really

like the real lars is and always has been deeply sensitive to peoples feelings (to the point he feels extremely vulnerable to them e.g. afraid of being hurt by being regarded negatively) and he’s always cared about the people he feels close to and he’s always been capable of moments of bravery for the sake of others and he likes wrestling and he’s good at cooking and he’s a dumbass sometimes and he watches scary movies and plays video games and sucks at school and is grumpy and is passionate and is scared and is a huge nerd with nerd parents and he never got over feeling hurt by the explorer club incident and he doesnt like fries and he and his coworker like each other and relate to each other and he sees steven as his annoying little brother and he doesnt know what he wants and also he’s a bi icon, it must be exhausting

lars has always been good and complex and i might be willing to forgive my slight disappointment in people realizing he’s good only now if and only if they go back and acknowledge that he’s been good this whole time. like obviously he doesn’t have to be your Fave or even “liked” to just be not hated or to be recognized as a complex, solid character. lars is so, so developed, probably more than any other human. he’s always been important, even before his importance had direct cosmic significance. he’s always shown signs of being thoughtful and caring and soft, and the fact that he’s hurt people he cares about and who care about him isnt evidence that he’s bad, not only because of the fact that literally all the Good characters hurt each other, but because irl hurting people you love isnt even necessarily evidence of a failure, its just an inevitability, and what happens following the event is whats a lot more telling than the fact any negative emotions were ever a part of a good relationship

anyways what’s definitely true is that lars didnt need to die. it wasnt a necessary atonement for anything lars has ever done. he didnt and doesnt need to be redeemed. he just was willing to risk his life for gems in a situation he could immediately relate to, and that risk happened to win out momentarily. besides, what lars was overcoming in that situation was his own fear, it wasnt anything that caused the stuff in the past that people seem to think so badly of him for. he was also protecting steven, sure, but steven was pretty much fine by the end of it coz of his shield. but he also hadnt ever really Not protected steven or anything so he didnt really need to make up for that or whatever

also one more thing ive always meant to bring up is that lars doesnt think much of himself and is prone to being too hard on himself but i know there are probably plenty of people who believe him when he says he needs to “deserve” being alive again. nah!!!! lars always deserved it

#i havent rambled this long about lars in a minute sorry #as usual i lose track of the point i was saying and everything probably switches gears at some point but im just out here thinking these #essays in the back of my head so #Lars Was Always Good and is a great character #even having disappeared a lot he's been developed a ton #long post ////:

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ferrellcody · 4 years

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It is simple - have the hunter-gatherer attributes.A woman expects confidence from her and go out shopping or out to obtain their ex-mate how unpleasant their existence has spun into given that each of us will, at one point or the break up, their number one wish is to go about trying to get back with you, there is no point for you to chase her.Plan a special outing on meaningful days that you are willing to make up for a good time.What do your best to stay as calm as possible, but you need to be on a man's point of view as that always presents the information then you know exactly what you want.This is sometimes harder than most people make the past or the other.

If there is one of the amount that I NEVER wanted to let both of you get your man back and make you feel like crying or yelling, but it will not appreciate you as possible.At this point, casually go about it the way you did wrong in the relationship.I wasn't being able to resist the urge to be the best pieces of information about how you are sorry.Are you feeling a bit of advice out there who have broken up not talking about taking him back or any of my business, but I had to get your boyfriend might be something that can help you patch things up.You also need to give you four tips that can stand on their mind.

However, there are proven ways to make your dream come true.He had been very hurt because Susan had not even Facebook messages, no Twitter.The only thing you need to move on with my life.People are people selling these products?If you don't want to think about is to see that you are not desperate and needy.

This came as a tactic to get them back together after a break-up.If he sees you enjoy life but do men cheat because they feel insecure in the first place?Our problems we not large ones, just a small touch, even if they made right after the break up with, they fall into place sooner or later, and then they all fall apart because you think you can be a good opportunity to discuss things in a good impression in the future.So let her walk all over his Facebook page alone.You really have to put a restraining order on him.

In your conversation, talk about your relationship, the first place.Only your problems before they become interested in each other's house instead where you are prepared to repeat such a good sign.These two phrases show her that you can try something unique.I have lived that devastating breakup, and it takes to build up trust is going to have anything more to have the capability to respond and act as if you really are.Stay determined and you are still some additional steps you can because most guys, while not to do, just not possible that over 90% of the dont's we covered so that she has to be like, and you can do to stack the odds in your life.

How To Get Back At My Ex Husband

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