#and i get that you cant really plan appointments like this to the hour or anything but if you say youre gonna come in a certain day

[jeridandridge]

Hardest of Hearts

Melissa helps you handle a life changing event. CW: talk of Abortion

A/N: This is a different angle on a trope we’ve seen many times. I decided to explore the other side of a very real situation.

On a Friday afternoon you sit at your usual table with Melissa and Barbara tapping away on your phone lost in your own thoughts. The senseless chatter from Janine and Jacob going on behind you doesn’t even register as you look at the test results on your phone screen.

“Hey you okay, hon?” Melissa sits looking at you concerned.

You can’t do anything but nod and give her a tight smile as your heart beats fast against your ribcage.

“Sweetheart, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?” Barbara asks in the most comforting way only Barbara knows how.

Letting out a sigh you lock your phone and reach out for your water bottle instead. “I’m okay, really.” It was a lie, but none of your co workers needed to know your personal business. Especially Barbara and Melissa.

The redhead looks at you with something in her eyes that you cant place and you feel like you could cry right there. Being in love with the woman didn’t help your current situation. Getting up abruptly you give the group a tight smile as you gather your things. “I have some stuff to catch up on, you guys have a good weekend.”

As you walk out of the lounge you try to keep it together long enough to get up to your classroom. Looking at the clock you take a shaky breath realizing you have two hours left. It would be an easy rest of the day, you’d been letting the kids work on their own on a project anyway. You could make it.

As soon as your kids are gone you grab your bag and keys slipping out to your car before you can see any of your co workers in the hallway. On your drive away from Abbott you replay that day in your head. Melissa being mad at Gary all day. You planning on asking Melissa to dinner. Gary showing up at the last possible minute for a Valentine’s Day surprise. You meeting your friends at the bar. You going home with one of them. Now here you are pregnant according to your blood tests.

“Stupid.” You huff under your breath. You were always careful. Never hooking up with strangers, always using condoms. Now on your way home you come to the firm decision that you’re not ready to be a mother. You couldn’t even keep a plant alive. You had no right bringing a child into the world when you were still figuring your life out and living in a shoebox of an apartment.

Parking and going inside you lock yourself in for the weekend planning on trying to relax before making an appointment at the clinic for as soon as possible. That’s when you decide you’ll tell Melissa what’s going on. You might not have gotten the girl, but you did trust her with your life.

As the evening goes by, you receive a few texts from Melissa asking how you are and what’s going on but you leave your phone alone. Sitting with a book in your lap you try to escape reality for just a moment, only to be brought out of the story by a consistent knock on the door.

“I’m coming!” You call out getting off the couch. Looking through the peep hole you sigh when you see the redhead standing there with her hair up, hoodie on, and a bag in hand. Opening the door you keep your hand on the knob opening it just enough.

“Melissa, what are you doing here?”

“You’ve been acting weird and weren’t answering my texts so I thought I’d come by.” She shrugs holding up the bag from the store. “I brought treats and I miss you.”

Sucking in a breath you nod opening the door for her to come in. “I’ve been around,” you say softly.

“Yeah hon but something’s goin on. Can we talk about it?” She asks as you lock the door once more.

“There’s not much to talk about, Mel. Honest.”

Not believing a word you say yourself, it doesn’t shock you when the redhead looks at you with an unamused expression.

“Hon,” she sighs, “I don’t know what I did, but you’ve been kinda avoiding me all week, what’s goin on?”

Plopping down on the couch you bring your knees up to your chest, the redhead sitting across from you. God she was pretty.

“It’s not you, Mel. I swear. It’s a me thing and hopefully soon I won’t have to worry about it.”

Melissa reaches out gently cupping your cheek. For just a moment your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the contact.

“You don’t have to lie to me. You’re talkin to the queen of hiding emotions.” She teases you with a small smile.

Taking a breath you gently reach for her hand removing it from your cheek so you can hold it, a gentle squeeze from the older woman grounding you.

“I’m only going to tell you this because we’re friends and I trust you with my life.” You start, your hands shaking as a cold sweat hits you.

“About a month ago, I went out and did something stupid. Now I’m pregnant.”

Melissa gently squeezes your hands.

“And I can’t keep it.” You let out as the tears start to burn your eyes.

“Oh hon,” she moves forward to hug you, but before she can you reach out resting a hand on her shoulder. The smell of her perfume hits your nose and that only adds to your

“If you hug me right now I think I’ll fall apart.” You all but plead with her.

The redhead nods putting her hands in her lap as you sit in front of her practically shaking.

“What can I do?” Is all she asks. And that’s when the dam breaks.

Tears fall down your cheeks in anger and sadness, undoubtedly making you look psychotic. You wished you could tell her everything, but you can’t. Not now.

“Take me to the clinic?”

The redhead looks at you with watery eyes nodding. “I got you.” She hums gently offering you her hand.

Reaching out you open your arms, finally ready for a hug as you calm your breathing. you hold onto Melissa like she’s your lifeline, a raft keeping you afloat in dangerous waters. She holds you as if you’re going to disappear into thin air.

From that moment on the weekend turns into a blur. That night you climb into bed with Melissa beside you, her hand rubbing soothing circles against your back through your shirt. You want to turn over and wrap around her but think better of it. You’re close enough, you won’t ruin it.

The next morning you wake up with Melissa’s arm wrapped around you and her front pressed to your back in a warm embrace beneath the blankets. When you shift you realize she’s already awake, moving back a bit to let you move.

“I’m sorry I’m ruining your weekend.” You hum moving to face her.

Jade eyes meet yours and soft pink lips curl into a small smile. “Don’t be sorry, hon. My weekend was gonna be crappy reality tv and grocery shopping.”

“Not doing anything with Gary?” You ask with a quirked brow.

“Oh that,” she hums. “Yeah that’s over.”

She says it so nonchalantly, you can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not for her.

“Oh.” Is all you say and that’s where that conversation ends despite you wanting to know more.

As the weekend goes on you’re pampered by Melissa. She makes sure you eat and stay hydrated, and is right by your side when the clinic calls you back in the afternoon.

“The earliest appointment possible would be great.” You hum into the phone as the redhead gently rubs your back. “Yes, thank you.”

Hanging up you set the phone down and tip your head back letting out a sigh of relief. “I’ll have to call in on Monday.”

“Don’t worry about it, let me handle it.” She says moving for her phone.

“What are you gonna say? It’s a little strange for both of us to need the morning off isn’t it?” You worry, hoping Ava doesn’t ask her too many questions.

“Let me handle Ava, hon. I won’t tell her anything personal.”

“I know you won’t.” You nod. “I just- yeah.” You lean against the counter bringing your hand to your forehead. Your mind was spiraling and you didn’t know how to stop it. Watching Melissa tap on her phone you look down at the floor zoning out.

“All set, hon.” She assures you with a warm smile. “Now what’s goin on over there?” She asks coming up to your side again.

“Nothing, just- thank you.” You tell her sincerely, hoping that’s enough for now.

As the clock ticks you toss and turn on Sunday night unable to calm down. Laying in the dark you sigh under the sheets. Melissa wraps her arm around you once more, brining you closer to her.

“Everything’s gonna be fine.” She gently squeezes you.

You don’t know when, but you manage to fall asleep even if it’s just for a couple hours. Waking up to the sound of your alarm going off you let out a huff staying in the warm bubble you and Melissa were in.

“Hon, you awake?” She hums reaching over for your phone turning the alarm off.

“I’m up.” You whisper not bothering to move from the tangle of legs and the arms you’re being held in. “Thank you, for all of this, Mel.” She can think you just mean being there or taking you for your procedure, but this very moment is enough.

“I’m honored you trust me, hon.” She hums kissing your temple. “We should get moving.”

Knowing she’s right you yawn, sitting up and stretching out as you both get up for the day ahead. Brushing your teeth and washing your face you and Melissa move around your tiny bathroom comfortably as if you do this all the time.

“Did they tell you what to do for aftercare or anything?” She asks brushing out her curls.

“Basically no strenuous activity, I’m gonna have a little bit of bleeding and discomfort.” You shrug trying to play it off. Deep down you were scared of what to expect after, but you knew this was the right decision. Having Melissa at your side even if you haven’t told her your feelings is enough.

“When we get back you’re not doing a damn thing.” She tells you in a voice that tells you not to argue. “Take a nap and let me cook.”

“Well I can’t tell a Schemmenti to stay out of a kitchen now can I?” You joke through a nervous laugh.

“Especially after something like this.” She nods moving through the room to get her boots on.

Watching her from the bathroom you take everything in. The lamp in the room is dim, and her hair cascades down her back in red waves. With everything she’s done for you, you’re not sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

“Mel, can I tell you something?” You asks keeping your eyes on the doorframe.

“Hon, at this point you can tell me anything.” She chuckles tying her laces.

“I’ll understand if you change your mind about taking me this morning. But I need to get this out before I go in there.” You let out in a shaky breath.

Melissa stands back up coming over to you gently taking your hands in hers. “You can tell me whatever you need to tell me. I ain’t goin anywhere.” She promises.

Looking at your fingers laced with hers, you take a deep breath before you meet those gorgeous green eyes again.

“I- this is horrible timing.” You laugh sadly shaking your head.

Melissa lets go of one hand reaching up to gently tip your chin up. “Are you gonna tell me or should we get ready, go, and talk about us when you’re feeling better?” She asks you as if she already knows. The way she looks at you tells you she knows.

Swallowing hard you nod, keeping your hand in hers.

Something shifts. The fear you had starts to lift as you walk out to her car a little while later. In your sweatpants and hoodie you sink into the passenger seat with your bag and water bottle taking deep breaths.

Watching the redhead get in the car she settles herself and starts it up, pulling out of your apartment complex. Going through the streets it’s relatively quiet in the city, some people are just going home and some are getting ready for a long day. As you get closer to the clinic you feel Melissa’s hand on yours stilling your shaking you hadn’t realized was happening.

“Is Barb gonna hate me?” You ask quietly, thinking of how you dragged her best friend into this mess. She was a Christian woman after all.

“Barb doesn’t need to know your business,” Melissa shakes her head. “But if you do tell her, she’s Barb, hon. She’s not gonna hate you ever. Especially when you’re with me.” She squeezes your hand with a soft smile.

The rest of the drive goes fine after that. You do your breathing and hold Melissa’s hand, only looking up as you pull into the lot where you were instructed to go to. Parking, Melissa gets out with you giving you a sense of relief. “I told ya I’m not goin anywhere.”

And sure enough she doesn’t. Through the paperwork and exam process, Melissa is by your side holding your hand. When you wake up from the procedure she’s there in the waiting room as you’re pushed out in the wheel chair. The kind nurse that was there from the start takes you out to the car making sure you get in safely with Melissa’s help.

Sitting groggy and sore you look at Melissa through the window with hooded eyes as she speaks to the woman, realizing you fell for her for all the right reasons. The drive home is a slow one. Melissa takes her time making sure to avoid as many potholes as possible, driving cautiously enough to have people honking at her.

“Yeah yeah go around me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Don’t use the car bat.” You mumble the joke out, eyes still closed in the passenger seat. When you wake up to Melissa carefully opening the car door you feel her hand stroking your cheek.

“Hon, cmon let’s get you inside.”

Sitting up you blink a couple times, swinging your legs out of the car you wince as you get up.

“Nice and easy.” She encourages wrapping her arm around your waist.

Leaning into her you walk slower than usual into the building. You were happy you had an elevator. Up to your apartment Melissa keeps you close, keeping her arm around you as you unlock the door.

“Let’s get you to bed, hon.”

“Come with me?” You ask quietly, as if she hadn’t already told you she knows how you feel about her. She was so understanding of everything and on top of that you were so tired you could cry.

The redhead nods, gently rubbing your back as you go back to where you started your day just a couple hours ago. Getting your shoes off Melissa helps you lift your legs onto the bed, putting the blanket over you. Laying there in your still dark room you wait for the redhead to join you, her arms immediately going around you as she lays down.

When you feel her lips meet your temple in a soft kiss you let out a content sigh, drifting off to sleep with your hand over hers.

[b1ackg1rl-mag1c28]

I finally made something I'm sorry for the wait (-_-,) buttt here it is! Enjoy \(^3^)/♡♡

♡Nsfw btw; there is ass eating in here lolol♡

♡18+!♡

♡♡Gojo x plus size reader♡♡

Gojo who is so madly in love with you and everything about you that he starts planning a tattoo of your name on his forearm.

Gojo who spends a vast majority of his paychecks on you by buying anything you want. Sure he says no at first or even says you don't need it. But the truth is, he already bought it for you. If its these cute Bratz inspired boots you keep telling him you want; he's already bought three of the same pair but in different colors. If its this adorable makeup brand that you told him about a while ago; the order was already placed the minute you showed him. Or the tattoo idea that you made for yourself because you wanted something that suits you; he already did a consultation and he is taking you to the surprise appointment when you get home from work

Gojo who is so excited to match outfits with you that he has a whole Pinterest board of inspo he wants to try with you. Every time you go shopping he is low-key paying attention to every thing you pick up. When you turned around to get something else, he picks up the same thing. He even gets the same colors. He starts acting surprised when you say that he is copying you

Gojo who can not go one minute without filling you to the brim with his cum. He knows that you both don't want kids. But he can't help that every time his dick is pressed right up against your cervix that he starts saying he should make you a mommy. Sometimes he would spend 3 hours filling your poor abused cunt with so much cum that it starts leaking onto the bed. He starts pouting that you wasted some so he'll have no choice but to spend another three hours pumping the wasted cum back into you

Gojo who spends hours sucking and licking your clit that it got so swollen. One time he had you on your back with your chubby legs all the way up to your chest, and just eating you out like a mad man. You looked down and seen his beautiful eyes already looking up at you. He loved looking at the cute exptesions on your face. It was almost as if he was studying your face. Watching and waiting for any slight change. He opened his mouth to show how his flat tongue was now licking long and slow from your puckered hole to your sloppy leaking cunt. Then he would slowly make his way to your clit. And once he was there, it was so hard to move him away. No matter how many tears run down your round cheeks or how much you twitch and squirm, he would still keep sucking. He always made fun of how fat and swollen it was and would try his hardest to stop. He knows you are over stimulated, but he just cant help himself

Gojo who loves ass eating. He is never nerous around you. But when he wanted to try it, he danced around the topics for weeks. It wasn"t until one day he was helping you put lotion on your back. You were laying on your stomach, fresh from the shower. You were tired after a long day of work and Gojo decided to help any way he can. He volunteered to help you so you could relax and enjoy yourself. He was massaging your thighs when the idea popped back into his head again but this time he figured a way to bring it up to you. He slowly made his way back up to your ass. You couldn't lie, the way he was playing with your ass felt..really good. You let out a couple of breathy sighs. Gojo took this as his chance. He gently placed his each hand on each cheek and parted it. His acton really didn't surprise you, he does this a lot. So you really didn't say anything. Gojo took this as his chance. He slowly dropped his head down and sticked his tongue out. He gave a long lick from your cunt to your hole. You let out a small yelp and jumped. You asked why he did it and he said he was curious. Truth be told, his heart was pumping out of his chest. He was sitting there, waiting for your next reaction. His eyes light up with so much joy when you laid back down and told him to do it again. This sole moment was the cause of his addiction

Gojo who loves eating all of you. No matter what time of the day it is. Even coming home from an outing that was 5 hours and was outside. You tired swatting him away so you can shower. But he insisted that you were getting rid of all your flavor. After going back and forth, he still managed to eat you out right on the couch. Your pants was pushed down and dangling from one ankle and your shirt and bra was pushed up so he could play with your gorgeous nipples. He simply started acting like a kid that finally got to have that toy they seen on a commercial.

Gojo is is so madly in love with everything about you that a day doesn't go by where he isn't looking for wedding rings. He loves your entire being. From the stretch marks that are littered on your body, to the rolls on your sides and your love handles. No matter how you look, he can't help but to fall in love with a beautiful women like you. You truly do have this man wrapped around your pretty fingers.

[specialstay]

[05:35am]

very angsty with some self-doubt, him being very distant

This feeling in your chest again. Burning with pain and somewhat with love. Love hidden underneath a layer of disgust, pain and confusion.

Disgusted at yourself for still plaing his game, listening to his cards and words who seemingly have no intentions in making you feel loved nor wanted at this moment.

Pain because a part of you still sees him as your loving boyfriend who once would never hurt you in any kind of way, who would hold the door for you in pouring rain and would always make sure that you know how much he loves and appreciates you.

Confusion for his actions and words he has said to your face, ignoring how much he hurts you and ignoring the tears that make your face shimmer in the moonlight.

You didnt know how to react in situations like these. A part of you knows that hes not really feeling this way when he says that you dont matter to him right now, when he says that he wants to be alone right now and when he says that he doesnt care about anyhthing right now.

Right now...

Those two words that you hated at this point in your relationship.

Because yes, right now you dont want the leftover chicken in the fridge but throwing it away would be stupid because you were already planning on eating it for luch, but not right now.

Has he no sense for the future?

"Im getting sick of this" you finally say after hours of silence in your shared apartment.

"Aha" was the only response you got and he didnt even look up from his phone, nothing new when he was mad.

"I did nothing to deserve this. I did nothing wrong and I'm very much able to look objectively on a situation and acknowledge a mistake of mine" you said a little louder but you never screamed. Anger wont help your situation and would only make it worse.

To no surprise you didnt get an answer which only made you angrier. But who can blame you?

"I only told you "good morning, " but apparently, that was enough to make you mad again, and im really running out of options and patience here! Tell me, what was it this time? Was my morning breath so bad? Was there not enough toilet paper in the bathroom today?" You couldn't help the sarcastic comment, but at least you never shouted at him.

His eyes showed pure annoyance, and he doesn't even have to look you in the eyes for you to see that. You were considered a lucky start if he looked you in the eyes when he was mad.

"I dont wanna talk" was a surprisingly long answer for his circumstances but not long enough for you to be satisfied. Angry you stood up from the couch were the both of you were just sitting on and went to the kitchen.

Maybe going to your moms house for a few days was a good option for now.

"You never wanna talk, it's eating me alive! I did nothing but the best for you the past few weeks, i was always silent when you were angry because of some bullshit and I'm always hoping for you to be you again! Im hoping that the old you comes back, the one i fell in love with" you said loud enough for him to hear in the living room, you knew exactly that he never looked up once since you left the room.

"The old me is gone! The "one you fell in love with" is fucking gone and he wont come back" he finally answered while you grab your keys and coat. "No he is not! He is just hidden beneath all that self hate of yours and has trouble coming back, trouble i cant help with!" You finally shout now and unlock the front door, your heart screaming to go back inside, hug and kiss him until you both find a solution and finally fall alseep in his arms like you used to.

But your brain is telling you to go outside that door, leave him here and potentially risk your relationship and leave all the good memories you both have behind, just like leaving him behind on that couch.

Would he even care?

Would he even care now that youre about to leave this appointment?

Care about you and your feelings?

[conanssummerchild]

okay so id initially put this in the tags of your ask but i thought id put it in your askbox so you don't feel obligated to answer it or you wanna answer privately instead cause it's very rambly and kinda personal

#also im curious. what do you do after you get an autism dx?#because like back when my psychiatrist evaluated me for a bunch of things. i was curious if i was somewhere on the autism spectrum too#cause i did check a lot of boxes#and she essentially told me i have a lot of the overlapping stuff because of other conditions and i could do the autism evaluation#but it would be a waste of time for me because it wasnt my main dx and doesn't make my life unbearable#because im already taking meds and shit for other stuff but you dont take meds or really do anything about having autism#so she basically told me you might be on the spectrum but there's no point in getting a dx cause it doesnt change anything#but also cuz for me it's probably mild and doesnt affect my every day life that much#so yeah i guess i was curious. im so sorry if this comes off as rude btw#because i know getting dxed changed my life and its so much better now. and im so proud of you for that finally happening#and my situation is very different from yours like even if i am on the spectrum it probably doesn't affect me to an extent where it fucks#with my every day life to an unbearable degree yk#but im definitely curious about how you go forward once you get an autism diagnosis when it does significantly affect your life. like do you do anything about it?#i do know it's validating as hell and your parents will finally take you seriously. cause you've obviously known for a while#and again i know its gonna get so much better hereon. getting dxed literally changes your life and im so so happy for you#how did your family and everyone take it?#like i had the worst relationship with my parents i was gonna cut them off after school but it got so much better after my dx#like they became so much more understanding and like put in the effort to change and be better and its still a long road but yeah#it's kind of fucking awesome and life changing and i really hope it is for you too#im so so so happy for you

well i guess i dont really know yet, i had an appointment yesterday at school hours and i went alone and then i went straight back to school and now im at my friends house so i havent seen my parents yet. i have my last appointment with my psycologist in 2 weeks and that one is with my parents so its basically when shes going to tell them, i dont plan on telling my dad about it before then bcs he can go fuck himself but i am going to tell my mum as soon as she gets home from barcelona. so i cant really say anything parents-wise yet. as for like outside that at the moment theres really nothing at all i can do until my parents are in on it, since im a minor my parents are the ones who choose if the school knows and i can get accomodations but if they choose not to tell them theres really not much i can do, so for me a diagnosis doesnt change much (apart from FINALLY after more than EIGHT years knowing whats different abt me) unless my parents let it change stuff, and at the moment i font know if they will :/, so to answer "what do you do after a diagnosis?" i really dont know. if u want to get diagnosed though and u think you could i would probably go for it, you can keep it to urself since ur over 18 so u dont have to tell anyone else if u dont want to and idk it might come in handy even if it doesnt it is nice to feel validated but anyway its up to you <3

ps: you can literally ask me anything u want to know i dont mind and dont worry abt coming off as rude i dont think u r <33 love u

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw neglect , social anxiety / anxiety

hi i would like some advice

so i plan on moving out as soon as i can once i turn 18, it’s impossible for me to live at my “home” any longer than necessary.

im not cared for correctly my parents wont get me in any doctors appointments of any kind (eye, yearly doctor appointments, therapy, etc), theyve emotionally neglected me my whole life, they wont let me leave my house on my own i dont live in a dangerous place and its not far walks to go places here i get the hesitation since im a girl but again this is not a dangerous place and im not trying to go super far people walk here all the time. i dont know how to live on my own in any way. i can survive being alone in my room 24 hours a day but i have severe social anxiety and along with the neglect i havent been in school. i’ve always struggled with school and that was always ignored but i think it’s something more but i cant know for sure since my parents wont get me in with any doctor. as soon as i got into homeschool since i was experiencing really bad anxiety (instead of actually trying to help and get to the root of the problem they just put me in homeschool and turned a blind eye and acted like everything was fine) everything has only been festering and growing since and its debilitating now.

i dont have a driver’s license or id and not much school record since i got homeschooled 5 years ago (i would have been a senior next school year/in a couple months) i cant get a job I for one: dont have any of that i mentioned and also no idea how to socialize i dont have any friends and it just seems very hopeless. im not sure what to do. i need a job to start saving up to move but i have no way of getting one for the reasons i listed and also every time i try to do exposures for my social anxiety my parents wont let me (the walks for example). i cant live here any longer than i need to i really cant and thats not all the reasons why. i feel trapped here theres no room for me to do anything or grow at all. i just cant take it anymore i want to spend these next couple years trying to get better to leave but i have no idea how.

im not expecting anything from this i guess i just need any sort of advice or anything on how to navigate and get through my situation. how would someone handle this? not even just about the job aspect just how do i get out of this. i have no idea what to do and i dont have anyone i can talk to or go to. thank you for your time!

Hi anon, I'm very sorry to hear about the emotional and physical neglect you have, and currently are experiencing, as well as the lack of resources provided for you to become an independent adult (which seems to include both financial, as well as educational, abuse). I can deeply empathize that it likely feels like you are very much alone in all this, but sadly you are not the first, or only one, and I found several resources that might be of assistance (both for getting independence, as well as further validation).

Here’s a page that discusses the abuse that is sometimes found in homeschooling environments (which isn’t to suggest all are, but in your case, very much sounds so).  If anything this page might validate some of your experiences, as well as potentially sharing them with the reddit, and/or facebook groups.

Here’s an article that discusses what financial abuse is, suggestions of how to develop a safety plan to leave, as well as resources linked at the end to find shelters/services near you that might be of assistance.  

In my opinion, first focus should be about getting you into a safe environment, with trained professionals, who can help you navigate personal independence as you connect with community resources, and begin your healing journey.  Though my hope is that as you practice and experience safe environments, with safe people, it might help alleviate the social anxiety (if it’s a trauma based response), or, at the very least, they might be able to assist in developing new coping skills to navigate the world with the anxiety.  Either way, I promise there are people out there who care, want to help, and will - and I hope with at least some resources shared, it might be a starting point to help you connect with them. 

[hellboyyy25]

Please help a trans guy escape

UPDATE

Okay I haven't gotten a chance to make an actual update on everything because I've been moving my stuff, cleaning where I am staying and just mentally didn't have the energy. Our plan didn't work out.. because of bills we needed to catch up on and gas being ridiculously insane lately (my gf now needing 300 a week for gas as she drives all day for her job) I wasn't able to stay in a motel nearby. I had to resort to the very thing I didn't want to have to resort to... I currently am staying an hour away from my gf at my families house.. this is a huge problem because they are, well basically apart of the Donald Trump cult. I do not feel safe here, especially not around her husband. They have "Pro gun Pro Life Pro Turmp" signs all over the house. They do not at all respect my trans identity in any way, they frankly think it's a joke or some mental illness and they don't respect my autonomy as an adult, every "family activity" that goes on I am dragged into.. it's incredibly uncomfortable and unfair as I lived on my own since I was 18, now I am 25 being treated like a child simply because they know they can take advantage of the fact that if I didn't come here, then I would be on the streets. Please guys I really need help. I do eat dinner and sometimes lunch with them when they offer food but beside that I am just not eating because I'm not even comfortable walking around the house. Lack of funds from before the move I also ran out of my trans tape which leaves me feeling 10x more vulnerable and exposed than ever before.... I have a binder but I really don't like wearing them for longer than a few hours at a time because I am afraid of damaging my chest for possible future operations so I only wear it when people are over or if I have to go out.. it's been 3 days and I can already feel my mental health declining rabidly. I feel the mental work I've put myself through the past few years is all crumbling around me. Thank you to everyone who shared my last post and donated, you are incredibly beautiful and generous people. I'll be unpinning my last post to pin this update and plea for you guys continue sharing around as I still really need help, I need to get out of here. They barely help my sisters get to work/doctors appointments so I know they wouldn't help me get anywhere if I were to find a job. The house is too far from anywhere to actually get a job + I don't have my bike and it needs tire repair that I cant afford.

Please please PLEASE share this and donate if you can and I'll update the post with all donations.

We currently have:

50$

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[dausy]

I did it. I clocked out for the last time. My husband brought us food. Boss brought donuts and a coworker made sure I was well equipped for the Tennessee game today.

Very bittersweet. I've gotten really sad and guilty about it and then there was one tiny thing that happened that was a gentle reminder of "oh yeah, this is why I was excited to go". So maybe one day in the future, I can rant out my frustrations but theres nowhere private online.

I do not particularly mind moving. I do after a while get an urge to pick up and move especially if a place is getting too familiar. I kind of look forward to that awkward sensation of moving to a new place. New states/towns/cities smell weird and feel weird and its interesting how your brain takes in everything new and then 2 years down the road you realize how your brain took everything in wrong and backwards. What I really really want from this move though is just activity. I am hoping to do like 2 days of indoor rock climbing/bouldering and a day of yoga each week. I have high hopes that these things are going to be easily accessible. Thats what I'm really missing out on currently. 2020 certainly didn't help things. I hate feeling like I cant get the exercise that I want. I feel sedentary and icky. Of course the other thing is too that towns seem to grow as soon as I move away from them. I go back to my moms house every once in a while and get so jealous at all her amenities I didn't have when I lived there. So anywho..

the one thing that I will miss about my job is I'll probably never find another nursing job with such freedom and flexibility of hours. I never had a shift. I legit came in when I knew it was going to be busy and beneficial for me to be there and then I left when things got boring. So some days I could work 5a-11a. The other day I was there from 10am-10pm. But not having a clock to look at where I was like "oh, only 5 more hours of my shift" does amazing things for your mental health. If I had an appointment I needed to go to, its kinda a douchey thing to duck out on your coworkers when its busy, but I could if I wanted to. Never gonna get that ever again.

also just being new. I hate being in orientation. I legit just want to get hired and know everything already.

but I dunno we will see how it goes. I have a week left with furniture. I'll probably procrastinate but the plan is to start digging through our stuff and tossing garbage and donating other garbage. I need to get rid of a lot of clothes. Empty my junk drawers. Put some of my collectibles back in boxes. Then we go to moms for thanksgiving and then onwards to Texas.

[worldwright]

Good evening !

I'm writing this now, because I'm going to take a shower soon

I just ended a call with my bro, we were talking about me and college and we thought I could just stop and go and learn to be a hairdresser -it's not the hardest thing to do, not something I'm against doing, maybe a bit hard for me knees to stand all day but that can be manageable if I get the disabled-worker thingy and have a high stool

I really love majoring in languages (it's my dream to learn russian, after all), but it's maybe too much for me right now ? it's taking too much of my energy even if i'm fucking skipping class somehow

But it feels so much like a failure, to drop out of college, and to take a break from my dream, I know it's not -I'm tired and all, but still, it feels so wrong

I'm supposed to be the golden child of my family, not that I ever was that, because that's just wrong to think none of my cousins and my brother are nothing

My bro sent me a photo of his kitty cat (her name's Luna !) and look at her

she's so fucking cute, and she's sooo nice to pet i miss her sm ;-;

i cant believe it's only 2 weeks in 2024, feels like it's been a month

Have a wonderful morning my friend !

what are you kidding me there's no way it's only halfway through fucking January. what.

I should be planning d&d which is in two hours, or visiting an ATM to get cash for the tattoo appointment tomorrow (TATTOO APPOINTMENT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA it's just a consultation but AAAAAAAAAAAAA) but instead I am sitting directly in front of the heater unwilling to move an inch LMAO

that sucks about college :(((((((

I guess it's like. it's amazing to have super high goals and want to achieve them really fast, but there's. no point if you're not gonna survive getting there? better to make sure that you'll be alive to try again later lol. also hair stylists are badass.

kittyyyyyyy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 kitty baby kitten fuzzy babyyyyy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I love my kittiesssssssssssss

I decided to reread the whumpiest chapter of heaven official's blessing this morning cuz I guess I was in the mood lol, and also because the first time I read it I had a breakdown and had to call my mom to come stay the night 😅😅😅 so I wanted to read it again so I could actually understand what was happening instead of just sobbing on the floor lmao

ATMs scare me I feel like if I do it wrong it's gonna sprout a gun and shoot me :((((( but I must!! for the tattoo!!!!!

hope you have a wonderful evening, friend!!

[am-3w]

Holy hell its been a rough few days 😅

So we were planning a baby sprinkle for saturday afternoon, just a bbq, some games and a diaper raffle. Friday afternoon D stayed home with the kids while i ran a few errands for the party. I got home a little before 9. By 10 pm I was pretty crampy and uncomfortable but figured i just pushed myself a little much. By midnight i got in the bath to try to soothe some pain, by 1am I was vomiting back to back until 6am. I hadnt had anything in my stomach so i was just puking up water and stomach bile 🤢

I went into L&D and then gave me fluids and said "you must have food poisioning and youre really dehydrated". Well yeah, i havent kept anything down in 10+ hours by that point. They told me to come back if i still cant drink in 24 hours.

I went home and did nothing but sleep, take hot baths and take Tylenol for the next 24 hours. When itd get to 1 1/2 to 2 hours before i could take more tylenol Id literally be shaking and crying. I told D Id take the epidural now if i could 😂. Went back to L&D and they scolded me for "still being dehydrated" even though thats why i was there? They sent me home with a perscription of zofran.

Called my OB on monday and a nurse wrote me off on the phone and said "its probabaly just food poisioning" again. 🙃 but we scheduled an appointment with a midwife for Tuesday.

Tuesday I go in, i can barely walk, im shaky, pale, at this point i literally felt like i was dying.

The midwife talks to me and says theres no way its still food poisioning especially because i stopped puking two days prior. I mentioned my stomach has felt like ive had a 4 day long contraction and when she tries to feel my stomach I literally burst into tears, it hurts so badly. She thinks I injured my stomach muscles from throwing up so much, along with off setting my pelvis and she could bet the pain i was feeling was my hips pulling apart simiarly to how they do in active labor 🙃. She perscibed some muscle relaxers, ive only taken two doses and am in half the pain I was in before. I also couldn't eat anything in those 4 days because of the pain and dropped 10 lbs.

Hey people, maybe try listening when someone tries to tell you something is wrong with their body??

[mydisneymoment]

on june 1, the love of my life was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia cancer. but believe it or not- it was a relief to find out. lemme rewind a bit, on may 20th, he showed me some crazy big bruises and his gums were bleeding continously after he flossed. we decided to give it a week and see if the bruises would naturally go away- at this point i didnt really think anything of it, he's a biker and hella active so i thought that he may have gotten the bruises from biking and maybe didnt realize. the gums were weird but again- i didnt think too much of it. a week later, a few more bruises popped up and earlier in the week he had told me this walking heart rate had gotten up to like 150.. which was quite alarming cos like i said, this guys an athlete. i told him he should make an appointment asap and he said the next appointment was in august. he had done some research and he thought it was his liver, panic started to settle in but it was my sisters grad weekend so i knew we'd be seeing family who are in healthcare. regardless, i told him that he shouldnt drink this weekend and til we knew what was up. we shared what he was experiencing with close family and friends and they're expressions had us really worried. after his cousins bday dinner, we went to the ER the evening of may 28. the er was filled will bottle rock attendees and that was a time in itself. we got in at 9pm and didnt get seen til 1am. they checked his blood and the results were crazy low. we got checked into the er, they took some more blood and then after waiting a couple hours were notified that those numbers were critical and he was being checked into the hospital. the next day he received two blood transfusions and a bone marrow biopsy. the day after was a ct scan and we were just sitting ducks waiting for the bone marrow results. on the morning of wednesday may 31st, we found out it was leukemia. now we were informed that our local hospital didnt have the right specialists for his disease and that we would be transferring to ucsf that evening and we were checked in that night. at queen we were told that it was forsure apl so naturally i was in shock and another wave of fear hit when we got to ucsf when the nurse told me that they were running tests to see if it was apl or aml. my world started spinning again but i tried to hold my composure and stay strong for my guy. naturally- i took a walk for "water" and broke down in the hallway. note- i actually brought our water cups out and asked one of the nurses to give it directly to me- but she freakin dropped them in the room!! those were my cover girl cant you see im fucked up lol. they took 13 blood vials from him and gave him a potassium transfusion- the first time i heard him in pain. pain immediately enveloped me, to see my guy hurting. i did my best to massage him and distract him from the pain. when the nurse came in to change out the bag- i had completely lost it and told her it was hurting him, she was able to slow the drip down and it was better. safe to say no sleep was had that night. when we woke up- they had given him a full body ekg where we saw his heart and liver, he opted for a pick line that connected straight to his chest so they could directly connect the ivs and take blood from that instead of them picking him with a new needle everytime. he got another bone marrow biopsy- they wanted to do their own research- i was able to sit in n watch and after they confirmed to me that it was apl and then his main doctor came in that day as well and confirmed his diagnosis, gave the game plan and set the ground rules. i wasnt in the room during this time but his parents were and recorded a video of the doctors for me. the three of us were in the family room together where i plugged in and listened to the diagnosis. i didnt really have time to breathe before his dad started game planning. i had a full blown panic attack and could not think and the self doubt settled in. looking back on june 1st, it feels like it was a whole week in one day.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (204): Wed 5th Oct 2022

Went in to do overtime this morning and since it was time and a half that means I made £100 for 5 hours of work in the warehouse which is no bad thing. I would have volunteered to do the whole day but I had an appointment tonight at the Spire at 5:30 so I needed to get away early. While I was working my manager came up to me and congratulated me as I had passed my probation. I had assumed that I had passed the thing anyway since it's been nearly four months since I started working here and probation ends after three months but I was nevertheless happy to have this confirmed. After my former manager turned out to be a bit confused about how our productivity was reflected in statistics and told me I needed to improve even though in reality I was one of the top stowers on the floor, I was a bit worried that I might not last long with this company. However this news eradicated all that and I was so happy that I screamed "YEAH, PARTY" and high fived my manager which I think might be a first for me. I wanted to high five my manager at Aldi but I wanted to high five him in his face because he was a fucking knobhead. This was such a relief as I've been so worried about job security lately especially with rising energy bills on the horizon. After the horrible experience at the call centre I was also worried that maybe I was just a dumb cunt who can't do anything right and would never succeed in any job but my manager's reassurance that I not only passed my probation but "absolutely smashed it" was validation of all the hard work I've done over that last few months and also perhaps that I'm not a dumb cunt, maybe I just needed the right job to flourish in. After work I spent a few hours on Google Maps going over the route I would need to take in order to get to the Spire without using motorways. Up until now I've been too scared to ride my bike there because it's an unfamiliar route that involves busy duel carriageways but whenever I get the bus to the Spire it often just turns up whenever the fuck it wants and I couldn't risk being late for this appointment. Most of the journey went by without a hitch but just as I got into Gateshead there was a long line of traffic. I'd neglected to factor in that with it being the run up to 5 o'clock there would be a shitload of people returning home from work. In addition to this the scenery wasn't looking familiar to me for some reason and I was convinced that I'd gone the wrong way. While I was sitting in a long line my phone started to ring which convinced me that it was now half 5 and the hospital was ringing me to ask me where the fuck I was. I was really pissed off, convinced that I'd fucked up but as I continued further down the line I started to recognize the roads and houses and was now re-assured that I had gone the right way after all. I think because I normally screw things up somehow whenever I've got somewhere important to be my brain must have seen everything seemingly going according to plan and thought "Nah this cant be right, you must have fucked up somewhere. This is YOU we're talking about after all". I got to the hospital at 5:25 and it turned out it was my sister ringing me not the hospital staff. I had gone into panic mode all for nothing and had actually arrived five minutes before my appointment. The amount of times I'd gone over the route should have reassured me that I was on the right path but for some reason I allowed my paranoia to take over like I always to when I need to be somewhere. There was a bit of a wait but that was fine by me as I was just happy I'd gotten here and I was now even more reassured that even if I had been a bit late the appointments were pushed back anyway so I wouldn't have missed mine. Instead of playing on my phone I decided to try a bit of eavesdropping and hoping pick up something amusing or interesting the other patients were saying. Sadly though they were all a bunch of boring cunts who didn't say anything juicy. Although there is the possibility that all the people in that waiting room also had their own blogs and were likewise intending on eavesdropping in order to write about it too. In future if I'm planning on eavesdropping but no-one else in the room is doing or saying anything I should just let out a minging fart just so the other people can write in their blogs "And then this freaky looking guy in a biker jacket let out the worst fart I've ever smelled in my life". I eventually got called in to see the doc who did my surgery a year and a half ago. As you would expect he has forgotten all about me because he has probably done hundreds of operations since then so I had to jog his memory. I told him that although I only felt mild discomfort for the first year after the operation, in the last six months or so the pain has started to return which has me worried that I may have herniated yet another disc. I was expecting the guy to refer me to physio yet again but surprisingly he said that he would refer me for an MRI scan to take place sometime before the end of the month. What a legend this guy is. Not only did he potentially save me from paralysis but also he, like me, has realized that the physio guys are a bunch of useless cunts and with neck pain it's better to just cut out the middleman and go straight to MRI. Obviously I'm hoping that I don't have another herniated disc and the doc will be able to tell me what exactly is causing so much discomfort in my spine and will be able to sort it out.

[findstenicht]

this is the third day this week im waiting for some guy to show up and fix my internet and if he doesnt come in today either im actually going to lose my mind

[oonajaeadira]

Ok you ignore me if this is way too specific or doesn't mesh with your plan but I am here for PATS, an ask: you suffer an unexpected emotional day something bad and need an appointment, though he is booked he senses the urgency in your request and allows you to come much later than he should. You cant stay composed during the massage and he winds up letting you sleep past the timer. Again ignore at all. I awoke feeling sharp apparently.

Hello, love.

I've been thinking about this question a lot. Now, you weren't the only one to ask about an emotional day or sleeping past the timer. And then there were some other asks that I've been stewing over that started to bleed into my daydreams around this answer. (What happens if you miss an appointment? How would he react to the idea of you moving on? How does he treat a silly injury? Does he take tips, and what for?)

I hope you don't mind that your question became a magnet for so many variables.....

Sleeping Past the Timer After an Emotional Week (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

Warnings: smut under the cut

It’s not like you to be late. And half an hour isn’t just late, it’s worryingly absent, especially without a message. Were you another client, he might be irritated. Or maybe he’d just turn off the porch light and enjoy his unexpected free evening with a jack-off session or two, a good stout, and some mindless TV. But it’s you and this is concerning. It isn’t right. He’s pretty certain by now that it would take something monumental to keep you away from your Thursday night appointment.

He checks the portal. Nothing.

After a purely performative moment of hesitation, he clicks through to his bookmarks and pulls up your social media.

Nothing much other than some shared articles (varying subjects, all posted without comment) and one vaguepost about “not being made for this bullshit.” It is this post that captures his attention and he focuses on it for a moment. Something’s going on.

The street outside his house where you normally park your car is empty, but he can feel himself getting hard, like a part of him knows what it should be doing right now. Instead of taking care of that, he’s gonna put it on hold, just in case, making one last ditch effort by sending a message through the portal.

“Just checking in. Not like you to miss an appointment. Let me know if you need to reschedule.”

An hour goes by. Two. He sits, hands off, half-hard, passively watching some documentary on octopuses and has to switch it over to the local college game when they get to the section on mating.

It’s not often that he leaves his laptop open while logged into the portal, so he’s surprised when he hears an unfamiliar notification–the live chat function.

–I’m so sorry! Omg this week has been hell and i didn’t even realize it was thursday I’m so so sorry pedro. It’s probably for the best. Not in the best mood. I won’t be late next week i promise. I will probably need you a lot by then

–Hey. Don’t worry about it. But if you’re that stressed, then you probably have a need to come by. You’re still welcome here tonight. We can get some of that out of you for tomorrow.

–Thank you so much but i can’t. I have a really early day. There’s been a lot of sudden changes at work and it’s been really rough. I’m so sorry

–Are you working late tomorrow? Do you have plans?

–No thankfully just me and a bottle of wine and a weekend ahead i’ll need it

–If you want a rain check, I have an opening tomorrow night.

–Really?

–Of course. Come by at 7. Let’s make you feel better.

He begins palming himself through his jeans, anxious to confirm and get this ache over with.

–I’ll be there thank you

With one hand, he punches in an appointment confirmation into your profile while the other works at his belt and zipper. No need to leave things marinating tonight. Looks like he’s cooking alone. And he’s starving.

He'll cancel his Friday night plans in a few minutes.

________________

He has to breathe through disrobing you, try not to rush it, savor the unwrapping. He knows how much you like it–the way you close your eyes, throw your head back and just give in to him, just gorgeous–and he usually enjoys it too but… Something in him is pushing to get to the point, make sure you never forget another appointment again.

It’s when he sees you wince as he lifts your arms over your head that his focus truly snaps back to the task at hand and his erection takes a back seat so his fingertips can slowly explore your shoulder. He manipulates your arm to get under the shoulder blade, presses in through your ribcage on one side, down to your hip, listening to you breathe, registering any hitches in your intake, until he lands on a spot midway and asks you in a smooth, calming rumble if it’s tender.

You nod, and your face begins to crumple. The tears come hard and heavy. Ashamed, you tell him you’ve been lifting boxes all week and it’s not really what you’re made for. Something about a merger, your business moving locations, your management expecting you to pack up your own office, tons of files, heavy boxes, running out of time, and in an effort to get it done faster, you’d pushed the capacity and weight of what you could lift…and this just happened today because you weren’t thinking, weren’t managing right, how stupid you feel.

“And the stress doesn’t help,” he breathes. The tears make little sparkling fairy tracks down your cheeks in the low light and you’re just on the edge of truly breaking when he presses himself against you, shushing into your neck. “We’re going to take care of it tonight, okay? We’ll work on it. Then I’m going to make you feel good. Fuck this week. You don’t have to work tomorrow, right? Breathe here…”

Your breath is brave, long and stuttering, he runs hands over your bared torso, indicating where he wants you to focus your breath. You shake your head and his length pulses against you. But otherwise he keeps it cool, calm, steady.

“Good. No rush then. Let’s just take our time and see if I–if we–can get this week out of you. Table. Face down.”

Your injury is first priority and he turns his back to the clock, making sure to concentrate on getting the muscle groups around the strain to relax. But you’re still clenched. Thoroughly oiling his hands, he just moves them over you in smooth, firm waves, reading you, mapping you. You’re holding onto something. Something about being here isn’t as relaxing as it should be.

“Is there something else going on, preciosa? Other than the move?”

“What?” The muscles in your back tighten.

“Your office. Moving.”

And they loosen again. “Oh.” There’s a long enough pause that a “no” would be an obvious lie.

He helps you to flip onto your back and settle, sliding his hands under your shoulders, using your weight to help press down into his fingers, tilting your head back. But this time you keep your eyes closed as you explain that the main office is moving several hours away and you need to make some decisions about your job, about keeping it, working remotely but dropping to part time, or following the move.

His fingers curl, rake hard against your shoulder blades, pulling greedily, almost as if he can drag you inside him.

“That’s a hard decision. What’s keeping you here?”

Your eyes float open, meeting his.

Everything external goes on autopilot. His hands keep working, wrapping beautifully around your spine and neck, smoothing them out, smoothing everything out, his face a perfect mask of clinical neutrality. But inside, he’s in a sudden fucking panic. He’s slipped there. Shouldn’t be asking questions he doesn’t want the answers to.

“I like it here.”

“Mmm.” He hears himself, neither affirming nor judgmental. Indifferent. Professional.

But he has to lay your head down gently and step away. To oil his hands again. He takes his time.

After that, no more questions, no more talking. He concentrates on making you feel elastic, relaxed, brand new, fingers exploring through every inch of flesh. Here too, he takes his time. Fuck the clock.

In the bed as well, time is taken. You’re so pliant for him, healed and wanting and so very very present. He can’t bear to take himself out of you, even to change positions, just keeps you to himself and tries not to wonder how many more sessions you might be around for.

You do that thing you sometimes do, wrap your arms around his neck, hold on tight, whisper in his ear to tell him how beautiful he is, insisting how ready he must be to come right when he’s fucking the hardest, right when he’s trying to hold on for dear life, and you just cut through and break his restraint, his body rebelling and choosing to listen to your voice instead of his own.

If you leave, you’ll take that power with you.

You haven’t fallen asleep this hard and fast since the first session. You’re dead to the world by the time he returns with a washcloth and you stay so while he gently cleans you up.

He sits on the bed a while and looks at anything but you, long enough to tell himself it’s okay to break another rule. Just for tonight. The clock says he’s indulged, he’s gotten more than his fair share. So he’ll give you your due. You’ve had a rough week, it’s the least he can do.

Is what he tells himself.

________________

When you wake, the room is strange.

Because you’ve never seen it in the daylight.

You bolt upright, eyes immediately going to the side table. The glass of water is there. The clipboard is there. He is not.

On top of your form, there’s a folded paper. A note waiting.

“You needed the rest. Thought since you didn’t have anything to rush to this morning, I’d let you have it. There’s cold press and cranberry juice in the fridge. Box on the counter’s got some stuff from the corner bakery. Have some. Orders. I’ll know if you don’t. Door will lock behind you. Have a better day.”

The tightness in your back from the week is gone. Completely obliterated. He really knows his stuff.

You uphold your end of the agreement and down the water, glancing at your assessment form.

“Regular time next week. I hope.”

________________

Once he hears the front door close and your car start and pull away, he emerges from his bedroom and moves through the treatment room, resetting the side table and stripping the bed before padding down to the laundry closet and throwing the sheets in to wash.

On his way back out through the kitchen he stops to assess the bakery box to learn which of the confections stole your fancy. Ah. He doesn’t exactly grin, but feels the corner of his mouth pull a little. That’s his favorite too.

There’s a folded piece of paper sticking out from under the box. His note to you.

You’ve written your own on the other side.

“I feel wonderful this morning. Thank you for breakfast and letting me sleep. And letting me cry and get it out. You always know exactly what I need. I know you don’t take tips, but please let me. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you next week for sure. I’m not going anywhere.”

You always know exactly what I need.

There’s a number of bills tucked into the fold.

A tip. Payment for a job well done. For going above and beyond the contract.

He stares at the money.

No, this is good, he tells himself. The cash feels grounding. Realistic. Correct.

Transactional.

It’s good.

But something won’t let him just put it in his wallet.

Instead, he folds it back up into the note. Grabs a pen. Scribbles one word on it and slides it into a drawer before getting on with his day.

“Perspective.”

___

___

NEXT (Full 10K one-shot)

SERIES MASTERLIST

[sacredbb]

always some damn work drama all the time

[thefanficmonster]

Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

                                                              *  *  *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment. 

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible. 

Tsk, so much for gratitude

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[dausy]

I had a couple job interviews this week. One of them I literally got hired on the spot and that seemed a little abrupt cause there was another option I wanted to explore so I needed them to slow down just a minute and get some affairs in order first.

I had another interview yesterday I wanted to go to first before making any rash decisions. I didnt think I was going to take that job anyway because it was a fulltime position and unless something drastic happens, after c19 I refuse to let a hospital own my soul as much as fulltime status would have them own me. I fully plan on working fulltime hours but Im pulling the "uh no, Im PRN" card if I need to. But I still wanted to see.

Anywho, Im a big dumbbutt. So the person who scheduled my interview sent me a calendar event to my email which added it automatically to my google calendar on my phone. So I have an email and calender event that said interview at 4pm. And its my fault because I was like "oh let me write this down" and they were like "oh Im adding myself to your calendar dont worry" so I didnt right anything down. Turns out my google is on eastern time zone still. So the scheduler person scheduled me for 2pm but my calendar converted it to 4pm eastern..and I missed the appointment.

I feel really really dumb. I caught it around 230 because they sent me a secondary email that had directions through the building and where to park. I hadnt opened that email before because I cant remember directions anyway. So I hadnt left the house yet but merely reading the directions that said arrive by 2. I contacted them and they said it happens all the time. But ugh.

Cause I kinda feel like Im stringing the other hire along until I checked this place out.

The other issue too is one of my certs is about to expire and which job I choose depends on whether the cert comes out of my pocket or not. So thats also added stress.

A neighboring town got back to me too and I have a suspicion that thats like a comfort zone type town for me but its 40miles away. Husband is like "Id rather you be unemployed than drive that far" so thats kinda out of the question.

I really like my house, location and amenities. Whats killing me is the language barrier and your girl doesnt want a resume gap and wants to purchase things.