#and i hate this hellworld we live in so much

[wildevenusian]

i love going through my personal tag it’s like getting to remember my life

[steveharrington]

https://youtu.be/HZOppCkC5UM

what do you think of this?

i think some good points were made! and also some bad points were made! i will break it down sorry if this is long but i love talking about st as you all know and this guy packed a lot of discussion into 10 minutes!

good points: he's absolutely 100% right about jonathan and joyce losing their Point in the story. it's so so so obvious specifically with jonathan that he was written and conceived to serve the plotline that revolved around his family, and when he's taken out of those relationships he's basically.....nothing. i've never seen anyone point out how jonathan didn't really need the nancy/steve plotline in s1 because it only really diluted his A plot centered around will before, but it's so true. i also strongly agree with his point about the russia storyline and how taking the characters out of hawkins and trying to bring in the world at large is a big mistake. it's one reason why i felt the russia plotline in s4 specifically was so hard to watch and literally had me wanting to skip every time the scene cut to hopper/joyce/murray because like.....why should i care about this! im invested in whats happening in hawkins, in vecna, and like the california plot okay fine it's tangentially related to hawkins and it brings back brenner etc but the russia stuff just feels so far removed and pointless. also he's so right about the tone of s3 feeling off specifically with scoops troop and how they tried to make a very serious dark plotline into a slapstick comedy.

bad points: the story is not all about will. sorry i will never buy into and subscribe to the whole "it starts and ends with will" thing and that's not even me being a hater, that's just me watching season one and understanding that el is just as relevant to the story as will. the author of this video essay sets up the s1 storyline and concept for the show as a whole as if it was Only ever supposed to be about will going missing and the results of that, which completely ignores the fact that we still have an entire parallel dimension and government sanctioned child testing lab to talk about? if the story was only about will going missing, it didn't need to be about supernatural elements at all. it could've literally just been will getting lost in the woods. but will's disappearance is the entry point for our characters into the upside down, and once they're aware that it exists, it can't just be nicely tied up in a little bow at the end of s1 and everyone moves on with their lives. i will never understand the "stranger things shouldve been one season!!!!!" argument because like how on earth can you expect joyce to get her kid back from the parallel dimension that also ate another teenager, with the lab that tortured a child still operating in their town, and just be like oh okay its over? HUH? like there's no further implications to discuss, no consequences of these discoveries? will went to hellworld and hid from a monster and he's just fine now that he's back home? we're just gonna all ignore it? whew sorry anyways im really defensive over s2 and i hate the suggestion that it's like hastily cobbled together just for the sake of a sequel when really it's such a rich season full of necessary and fascinating further exploration into the UD, the effects it had on the characters, the trauma they endured, etc.

new paragraph but still talking abt the bad points. i also don't agree with the assertion that s4 ended with everything tied up nicely and all the characters having closure. in fact i really don't understand how anyone could reach that conclusion (sorry to the author of that video essay if ur out there) like how can you watch the s4 finale and think "yeah everyone's pretty much good" like hello? eddie's death traumatized dustin and im sure there'll be conflict over the decisions made that led to it, max is literally in a coma, lucas still hasn't received any sort of closure or resolution irt any of his experiences or feelings, will still feels alienated within his friend group and tied to the UD, el still views herself as a monster, nancy/steve/jonathan are an absolute mess with no resolution either relationship-wise or just like personal storyline-wise. even if you don't care about these characters, or you feel like they were never important, the show can't just drop them into oblivion and leave each of their storylines unresolved. and that's what'll happen in s5.

also saying the agent orange speech was the best aspect of the russia storyline is um.....interesting. to me its not "bringing hopper back to his emotional roots" its a very lazy rehashing of the story arc he already overcame i.e. blaming himself for sarah's death and feeling like a black hole. like we already did that. and now we're doing it again

all in all i think the general thesis of the video is very correct--s5 is not going to be very good. the writers have written themselves into a corner, many of the characters have ceased to serve any function, and the non-stop action that the duffers keep teasing is going to feel like a different show and probably not play to the strengths of the series, which is character work and dynamics. and also he's right aliens is the best sequel ever <3

[chuplayswithfire]

I cannot get over your Izzy Hands/Kylo Ren comparison post. I always hated the way fandom treated his character and you put it into words in ways I never could and in ways I hadn't thought of. I enjoyed reading it so much. Thank you so much for writing it. 💜💜💜

Well thank you!! i'm glad it was a good read, and I'm really glad it was able to resonate!

I actually really enjoy Izzy's character, I love the tragic fucks who ruin their own lives. His type of messed up love and the way he hurts the people around him to enforce his worldview - it reminds me SO much of the real world but in this story where he's not just a fuck but a guy who's also enforcing his own hellworld of unhappiness, it genuinely does give me such feelings about how he impacts everyone around him because he won't get out of his own miserable shell.

Which makes me more irked when I see fandom takes that try to minimize what he is and how he does it. Nah. Izzy's fucked up! He has to start from there before he can be anything better.

So again, it makes me really glad that I was able to communicate some of that - the way that Izzy really does suck, and the things he does to the people around him, and how we all have to know it before we can do anything with it - and have it resonate!

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Hellworld

[Thought I’d make a small update post since I’ve been slacking hard on a few things. 

I am aware that my replies have been slow as all Hell as of late. If you need a reason why, you may read about them under the cut (because some people are like ‘hey, it’s cool’ and I know some must be going ‘hey what the fuck man’). I will be trying to kick my ass in gear over the next week or so, especially since my schoolwork is going to slow the fuck down for once. Hurray.

So if I owe replies, I ask for your patience for a small bit longer. And now for those curious as to what’s up, here is my personal tea.

So. 

Life has been Hell.

Kinda. Okay so I know there are people struggling harder than I, but I’m still feeling the weight of a lot of things suddenly crashing down upon me

One of them is the threat that I will not be graduating. I have had to track down teachers and everything in order to make sure that my credits are straightened out. That has been really fucking stressful, because some of my teachers are SLOW at grading, and I’m supposed to be done with school by the 21st, while picking up my diploma on Monday. 

However there is a chance I won’t be doing that. Hopefully I will be, but that’s been Hell, and my parents yelling at me and making me more panicky and stressed as I double-triple-check to make sure everything is fucking submitted, it’s just A Lot.

Secondly. Both parents are working. Good news, since we still have some money coming into the house. But also bad news because now they have risk of exposure, and if I get it, I may be fekked. This also means that I have to watch my younger brothers.

And that can be quite stressful when they are constantly yelling at each other and one’s throwing things and you have to try and be a mediator while also being shouted down because hey, one of them is taller than you despite being younger and he likes to be a bit intimidating in order to get an argument to stop, on top of having to try and find things to feed the youngest (since one is 9 and the other is 16) and yourself while also trying not to accidentally eat something meant for dinner or have a snack not meant for you, while also trying to concentrate and do schoolwork and also trying to make sure your goddamn graduation bullshit is done, while also trying to make sure both of them are getting their schoolwork done... it is A LOT. Being the oldest sibling can really, really suck.

To add to that small pile of stresses comes the fact that my aunt was diagnosed with cancer in late April, and suddenly she has days to weeks to live. Which is absolutely what my mum needs right now, totally. Thanks, universe, for that much. So now I’m trying to reach out to my cousin to try and provide some support and sympathy and empathy cause holy shit is he not mentally prepared to lose his goddamn mother, but can’t because he doesn’t really have any social media because of various other factors, and now you feel bad for wanting to tell that side of the family about your preparations for your online graduation because someone is currently fucking dying and your problems can fucking wait.

And THEN, my grandmother from my biodad’s side broke her hip and she’s slowly recovering, but she is now in a different country, so you can’t exactly ask your parents to try and drive to see her for a weekend or something just to try and lift her spirits, and you’re worried that now she has to visit hospitals more often for quick check-ins and could easily be exposed and die because she’s been a light smoker for decades and has COPD. Which is absolutely FANTASTIC. 

Speaking of which, news about this pandemic is just making me a mixture of depressed and really fucking pissed. We’re surpassing almost ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUCKING DEATHS and yet people are re-opening, not wearing masks, nothing. We don’t even know all the fucking symptoms associated with this fucking virus, but sure, go force workers who don’t want to die to go get fucking exposed, spat on, and degraded for it because ‘muh profits’. We’re probably a year out FROM NOW until we get a motherfucking vaccine, we’re nowhere CLOSE to testing enough, and bitches want to pretend it’s over. 

When November comes, we need to elect new officials who care about human lives over fucking profit, but that won’t happen because the USPS will most likely be MORE than bankrupt by then and voter suppression will be rife everywhere. Because of fucking course it will be. This government isn’t anywhere close to a republic OR a democracy, it’s a fucking oligarchical nightmare ruled by a wealthy class of fuckheads who would sooner shoot you in the head than pay even 1% of their networth in taxes. 

We’re about to see Jeff Bezos become a fucking TRILLIONAIRE and yet he’s not paying a LIVING WAGE to many of his workers, and he’s cutting their fucking benefits.

I fucking hate this government and I’m so tired and just angry about seeing so many people downplaying this. I don’t want to die for this. I REFUSE to fucking die for this. But I’ll have no choice. None. And neither will millions upon millions of people. The weak and the poor are already dying in droves. But no one cares because it isn’t them. My country lacks any form of humanity. I don’t ever think it had it in the first place, but the fucking hubris and the fucking self-entitled bullshit that they force feed us...

I wish there was a way to make more people wake the fuck up so we can completely overhaul our government and get people in there who care about We The People. Not They The Corporations.

IN SUMMARIUM, I’m dealing with school being a fucking bitch, my siblings being assholes (namely the older-younger bro because ‘I’m sick of being in this house’ is hitting him hard), my aunt literally about to die at almost any time now, and my grandmother who is a bit crippled and could be at risk for exposure to a deadly disease that has wiped over 90,000 people off the face of the Earth in your country alone and yet people are acting like everything is fine and dandy and we can TOTALLY go back to normal. We’re not still in a fucking nightmare. Totally.

All of this is thus diminishing my spirits and most of my creativity, and I’m finding myself just becoming more lethargic and tired. Defeated. I can’t do jack shit and it hurts.]

[qqueenofhades]

So, it’s Friday evening, and it turns out I have more thoughts about things that happened this week. I almost never do Discourse on this blog, on whatever subject, but sometimes even your friendly local depressed historian gotta say things. If you’re not in the mood for a long-ass meta-y text post, just keep on scrolling, no hard feelings.

In the wake of the Notre Dame fire, which obviously a lot of us were upset about, and profoundly relieved that it did not end up being completely catastrophic, the usual spate of posts began to pop up, alleging that people only cared about Notre Dame because of the loss to Western/European/Christian history, that nobody had been this upset about the National Museum of Brazil or the outbreak of arson at three black churches in Louisiana in the same week, and so on. I don’t blame anyone for making those posts, because I know they cared about those issues and wanted to ensure that their importance was communicated, especially when something major like Notre Dame was getting all the airtime. However, I couldn’t help but notice how that followed the same pattern as all Woke Tumblr Discourse (tm). An event happens, people express reactions to it, and are then attacked or indirectly shamed for not expressing reactions to another event. Or there’s the usual cycle of “nobody will care about this because it’s not happening in America”-style posts, or passive-aggressive insinuations that “you don’t care if you don’t reblog this.” And -- I say this with the greatest kindness possible, because I know, I know you guys care -- it’s... not helpful.

The culture of Tumblr and other left-wing sections of social media often rests on enacting performative wokeness, on showing that you care about the most Progressive (tm) issues, or that you have thoroughly scrutinized your fandom tastes or political beliefs for anything Problematic and/or can prove yourself to an imagined moral standard (and there have been some great metas written on how this essentially replicates conservative evangelical purity culture, with the goalposts switched). This is why we keep having to circulate (and doubtless will have to do so with increasing frequency) those posts reminding the left not to eat its young and flame all prospective Democratic challengers to Trump in 2020 to a crisp before the right wing, which is only too happy to let us do the work of sabotaging ourselves, even gets a chance. This is also why you see the posts responding to said angry “nobody cares about this!” posts, in which people mention the fact that not visibly reacting to all the (vast and terrible) injustice in the world does not mean they don’t care. The world is a big place. So is the internet. I can guarantee you that people do care, and just because you didn’t see immediate evidence and response to it when you opened up your Tumblr dash is not proof of a collective nefarious conspiracy.

Take me, for example. I am a thirty-ish academic and historian who considers myself well-informed and literate in current events. I read national and international news every day to find out what’s going on (because I live in England, the answer is Brexit, and the status is Failed). And yet, there are plenty of things that I only hear about for the first time on Tumblr, often attached to one of those “nobody cares about this!” posts. And you know what? I do care. I care a lot. And I’m guessing that most other people do as well, because no matter how it may feel, the majority of individuals are fundamentally decent people with basic empathy for others, even if our whole system is a nightmare. But the urge to demand why nobody is Discoursing about this issue (again, among a vast and exhausting sea of them) needs to take a few fundamental things into account. 

First, the American media (as a large portion of readers are relying on) simply does not report this stuff. Look at what’s happening in that godforsaken country right now; does it really seem like the kind of place that’s eager to tell you about Brazilian museum fires or black-church arson? I’m someone who makes a conscious effort to read the news no matter how depressed it makes me, and I still miss tons of stuff, because it’s not there. The Western media reported on Notre Dame, people knew about it, and were upset. But when those of them who did not know about the National Museum of Brazil learned about it, they were also upset. We can definitively say now that the National Museum was a bigger and more irreplaceable tragedy in terms of what burned. But we were also apparently 15-30 minutes away from losing all of Notre Dame. You can be upset about both these things. You can express empathy for the history lost in both cases. There is not a greater moral value attached, and you’re not racist for caring about Notre Dame if you heard about it first (unless you’re only upset about Notre Dame for reasons related to race or perceived cultural superiority and are peddling vile conspiracy theories about Jews and Muslims intentionally burning it down, in which case you are a racist). Almost everyone who learned about the National Museum fire was just as horrified.

2019 is a hard and monstrously unfair and tremendously difficult place to live. The internet has made exposure to both all the information and no real information at all simultaneously possible. Not everyone can display active engagement and empathy with every tragedy everywhere. People have jobs, lives, kids, work, school, other commitments, mental and physical health to look after and even when they read the damn news, there’s no guarantee whatsoever the news is going to report it. If they haven’t made the conscious effort to search out every scrap of terribleness that exists in this hellworld, they.... really should not be shamed for that. If they don’t care even after they learn, that’s another debate. But again, in my experience, most people do. But if they are first exposed to it by someone claiming they won’t care, that makes them less likely to engage with it, and to want to enact meaningful change. Firing wittily sarcastic takedowns at easy targets on echo-chamber liberal Twitter is one thing. We all enjoy a good roast and venting our frustration at times. But as a long-term engagement strategy, it’s going to actively backfire.

I talk a lot about being a teacher, and my experiences with my students, but it’s relevant again, so here goes. The kids in my classes come in believing some pretty strange things, or they flat out don’t have a clue even about what I consider basic historical knowledge. If my reaction was to shame them for not knowing, when they have expressly come to me to learn better, I’m pretty sure I’d be a bad teacher. My strategy, whenever a student can actually be nudged to answer a question, is to pick out whatever correct thing they said. Even if the rest of the answer is wrong and we need to work through it, I start by highlighting the part of it that was right, and to build their confidence that I’m not just going to tear them down when they respond. Freshmen are scared of not knowing things and to be made to look like an idiot, so I try to assure them that I’m not going to do that and I will constructively engage with their contribution and treat it seriously. You can then move to dealing with the other parts of it that may not be right, or even Mmm Whatcha Say side-eye. It is a long and often frustrating process and sometimes after reading their essays, you wonder how much of an impression you made. But if you actually want to get people to care about things, you can’t mistake Ultimate Wokeness or Look How Progressive/Anti-establishment/Enlightened I Personally Am for the simple requirement of being a decent person. You can have the greatest and most necessary beliefs or value systems in the world, but if your response to people is to lash out at them even before they begin the conversation, you’re setting yourself back. And I know that’s not really what you want to do.

This should not be interpreted as some wishy-washy “everyone just needs to be nice to each other!!!” kindergarten-playground-rule. I frankly think the whole system could use a good nefarious dismantle, and you sure as hell don’t get there by mistaking insipid moral equivalence for necessary action. But accepting the existence of people different from you, and considering how you want to engage with them, and understanding that issues are complicated and people are flawed, is a fundamental part of being a mature adult (and this has nothing to do with chronological age; there are 15-year-olds who are plenty more mature adults than 50-year-olds). I honestly do love the desperate desire to make people care, and that, for the most part, is why people who identify as liberal or left-wing do so, because they want to (and they do) care. But it’s also why they can be bad at winning elections and getting into meaningful positions to enact this change. The right wing stays on message and sticks together. Even if they absolutely hated Trump, plenty of Republicans held their noses and voted for him anyway. The left did not do that. The greatest virtue of liberal thought, i.e. its determination to include multiple perspectives, has increasingly reduced it to smaller and smaller camps where only the purest survive, like some kind of ideological Hunger Games. It might be great for making yourself look good to your hall of mirrors, but.... not so good for actually doing something long-term.

Once again, this is not to blame anyone for being upset and worried about things, for wanting people to know about them, and so forth. But I am gently-but-firmly suggesting, in my capacity as old, salty, queer spinster academic aunt, that perhaps you consider how you start the conversation. Once again, it’s my experience that most people want to know and want to care, but there are countless factors that mean not every bad thing in the world will be acknowledged everywhere by everyone at all times. You can care about different things for different reasons. That is okay. You can care about something because you have a personal connection to it. That is also okay. You can not care about something because you just don’t have the capacity and are emotionally exhausted and there’s so much shit in this world that you have to compartmentalize and set boundaries. That is also okay.

For example, I was obviously very upset about Notre Dame, and still am, though I’m relieved it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Am I happy it’s going to be restored? Yes. Am I unbelievably angry that a half-dozen of the elite uber-rich could just suddenly throw billions of euros at it for its restoration, when it had to struggle for years to get funding for crucial renovations? Yes. Do I feel as if that if the vaults have suddenly been opened to restore one major European Christian landmark, it’s incredibly heartbreaking that that level of instant capital just won’t be addressed to actual endemic, long-term issues like global warming and social inequality and the Flint water crisis and whatever else, and that this is a sad and troubling message for our society in many ways? Yes.  All of these things exist together. And I imagine most people feel the same way.

In short: I realize this is the internet, and therefore just is not designed to do that, but maybe we can give each other a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt, and think about how we would like to educate and engage those we come in contact with, whether virtually or in reality. We can do it wherever and whoever we are, with anyone that we meet, and I wonder what it would be like if we did.

[comradeocean]

the most recent episode of Roswell New Mexico was a lot, but I'm mainly stuck on -

Could Roswell New Mexico be the first mainstream depiction of crypto space Muslims onscreen since Children of Dune in 2003 and Pitch Black in 2000??? (are there any others I'm missing?)

An outright declaration still seems unlikely given the way Carina Adly Mackenzie characterizes how the experience of being Muslim in the US inspired the writer’s room - "The alien stuff is a metaphor for Islamophobia, and we cast our aliens as white because they look like the sort of Republican ideal. Like, they look safe, which is how I felt, so it's about passing as this safe thing. People talk about you like you're the enemy when you're sitting right there because they don't know who you really are, and so because of that, we've got three Muslim writers in our writer's room to sort of take everyone's experience and try to convert it to our sort of alien metaphor in the most sensitive way possible." [source]

And the shows uses a hodge-podge of mixed metaphors about assimilation/invasion/refugees/justice so that it can be a leftish blank slate onto which the casual viewer is able to project any number of political messages.

But with this last episode leaning heavily into the moral bankruptcy of the US government (namechecking both Guantanamo and war crimes overseas as comparisons; American-designed weapons of mass destruction; the culpability of people "just following orders") maybe the writers do intend to more explicitly ground the story on the world historical Islamophobia unleashed by the neverending War on Terror after 9/11.

The reveal of Noah (played by Karan Oberoi, Brampton represent!) as the evil fourth alien last week seemed self-defeating for those efforts after all that press about race-as-allegory casting. I mean, on the face of it, it's a basic "evil alien = brown man, good aliens = white" equation. but maybe there's something else there too?  

- ok it's just a CW show

- and much of the media landscape these days is "discovered tumblr intersectional feminism last week" because there's a market for it

- I mean holy shit do not underestimate the extent to which entertainment is delivery mechanism for advertising + ideology. the culture industry cannabalizes all!!!

- so writers can throw in a few memes a few phrases and call it a day. no more thought required

assuming all that and nothing counts for anything, really, in our 2019 hellworld --

The way Noah conceptualizes his actions and how that is narrated to us is distinctly unlike how (Islamic) terrorism is usually represented. (I think. I don't watch much tv and definitely not shows like Homeland or Quantico so please correct me if I'm wrong)

In the moral universe of the show, Noah is definitely evil. In fact, with the consistent emphasis on the importance of bodily autonomy and consent (cool post about it), his actions constitute the most evil and fundamental violation imaginable. (so much so that one of the implications of the conversation between Liz and Isobel seemed to be that even Rosa's murder pales next to what Isobel experienced. which is... whatever)

yet this episode also contextualizes his evilness as desperate (evil) actions premised on survival under the duress of violence from the US government and an innately unequal access to opportunity because of differing material circumstances. (shitty peasant pod and all that) (these premises are also positioned to be possibly false, and certainly morally unjustifiable)

to be even more on the nose, the writing is careful to characterize what Noah did to Isobel as a kind of grooming. sound a bit familiar? any real world evil incarnate analogues come to mind?

(not to mention the other plotline of the episode is directly juxtaposing this with a genocidal American government/military operation)

Carina Adly Mackenzie has repeated tweeted about how sick she is of Muslim terrorist characters on tv. however clumsily and I don't know if she can pull it off, she seems to be honestly trying to write an emotionally resonant story that not only allegorizes Islamophobia but also the conditions that give rise to phenomenon like ISIS without relying on the tropes of The Muslim Terrorist.

can she be successful? so far she seems to have gone out of her way to make the "good" aliens intent on assimilation and ignoring their otherness as unsympathetic as possible. Isobel is a 100% love-to-hate character, and at the moment the overwhelming fandom opinion (on tumblr anyway) seems to be on Michael's side of the Michael vs Max showdown, after coming off the high of a devastating Malex/Michael finding his mother knockout combo.

in other words, if Carina Adly Mackenzie is actually intentionally using the catnip of an otherworldly true!love! slash ship to emotionally manipulate viewers into a political/moral stance of opposing the extrajudicial murder of those deemed to be beyond evil enemies of civilization... which our real world politics translate to Muslims...

One (1) Respect

or rather 0.5 Respect because an unintended consequence might be that those who are alienated by the way some Malex fans have made fandom toxic for everyone else are more likely to double down on defending Max, his reasoning, and his actions oops

a lot is riding on how things turn out in the season finale next week. the plot twist I want is for Noah to live another day, and, in an act of restorative justice rarely seen on network tv, redeemed in future seasons. unlikely and laughable but imma hold on to the fantasy that tvland can save us all

[sanjuno]

Game of Thrones, Jon snow just trolling everyone

(3/32 SI Promptfest)

By the Old Gods, I really was ridiculously pretty for a man. Staring at my reflection in mydressing table mirror, I tried to make an ugly face and only managed to lookpouty. Ech. I was conventionally attractive in my life before this one, but Ageon ��Jon Snow’ Targaryen-Stark was supernaturally good looking.

It was actually a little upsetting. I was aestheticallypleasing, yes, but not at all my own type. If I had to be reborn as a man in this hope-forsaken hellworld, theleast the old gods could have done is fashioned me a meatsuit that catered tomy personal tastes.

I spared a wistful thought for the Mormonts, with theirstrong backs and lovely broad shoulders, before I dismissed the images with aresigned sigh. Nope, it was all dainty Targargyen features and the rangyleanness of the Starks for me.

Fuckers.

Grimacing one last time at my reflection, I tied back myhair and finished getting ready for the day. Stuck as I was in Winterfell andwith no desire to draw unwanted attention, my ability to influence the eventsto come was limited to the Starks. Which was, in my humble opinion, more than enough.

People always underestimated the Starks. It was baffling. Ina feudal society like Westeros there was nothingmore dangerous than a loyal people with a loyal lord. In Robert’s Rebellion, only the Northern forces had answered infull when the Banners were called to Arms.

The North answered without hesitation when the Stark inWinterfell called for them. The King in the North, and the North remembered it.A King uncrowned, a King untitled, but a true King nevertheless. Torrhen Starkmay have bent his knee… but he had notbared his throat.

Winterfell was a fortress of ice, untouched by sun or flame.I knew there were weaknesses, cracks in the foundation left behind by thewildfires of Robert’s Rebellion. If left alone those fissures they would bringdestruction, like melt-water under snowcaps just waiting to bring half amountain down on unsuspecting heads.

Good thing I was a manipulative little shit, and I knewexactly how to start doing away with those weaknesses. In this case I needed tostart at the top.

No one had done quite as much damage to the Stark’s goodfortunes as Catelyn Tully, and so the Lady Stark’s attitude would need alittle… adjustment. Which I was morethan willing to do now that Rickon was safely born. If she went nuts again andneeded to be removed I still had a full complement of Stark Wargs to advise andinfluence for the sake of preserving all life on the planet.

Wishywashy fishwives, blech. The only useful thing she evermanaged to do was make more Starks. After living with her prejudiced,thoughtless cruelty for thirteen years I was more than ready to break herinflexible little mind in half. Which was my plan for today. Best get a move onthat.

I grinned at my reflection in the mirror, knowing I wasdressed no differently than the rest of the Stark children and loving how muchit pissed my dear Auntie off. There was no chance of Catelyn letting me speakwith Father without listening in. Perfect.

Now if only my resting bitch face would start beingintimidating again instead of sullen, that would be just grand. Stupid prettyboy face.

/…/

“Your nameday is coming up.” Robb mentioned, just as he hadevery day for the last handful. My dear Auntie’s glare burned against my backas she lurked and waited for me to turn on Robb. Old Gods, but that woman’sblind prejudice was annoying. “Do you know what you’re going to ask Fatherfor?”

“I think… I’d like to know who my mother was. And why Fatherchose to raise me here instead of leaving me with her.” Carefully not lookingover my shoulder at where I knew the Lady Stark was spying on interactions, Imade sure to keep my voice thoughtful. “I’m almost a man grown. I think I’m oldenough to understand if it… if it was something terrible.”

“Oh…” The future lord of Winterfell looked thoughtful, andnodded his head as he clapped a hand to my shoulder. “If anyone deserves toknow it’s you, brother.”

“Well, one can hope.” With a chuckle, I shook my head. “Nowcome on, Robb. Let’s finish putting this away.”

“Aye.” Sighing as he looked at how much was left to takecare of, Robb grumbled but set too willingly enough. “Can’t leave a job halfdone.”

“T’would be unfitting of a son of House Stark.” I agreed withjust enough mockery in my tone to make Robb laugh and the Lady Stark bristle.Honestly, the woman was so easy to rile up. It was actually a bit sad.

/…/

“Father, please.”I may have arranged for Lady Stark to follow me into the Godswood today when Iwent to confront Ned Stark about my true origins, but it still bothered me toknow that she was lurking while I asked my father for honesty. Stupid bint. Myirritation made my voice crack with suppressed emotion. “Please, I deserve toknow. If it’s a secret you’re keeping to preserve a Lady’s honour, I swear bythe Old God’s I won’t speak of it! I just wish to know her name. Please.”

“I swore to your mother to keep you safe, Jon. You are myblood.” Ned Stark was a quiet man, but he had enough determination to grindmountains to dust. A brilliant attribute when you needed to ration suppliesthrough a decade long winter. Not so endearing when trying to get him to saysomething he wanted to stay secret. “That is enough for me. Let that be the endof it.”

“Fine then, if you won’t tell me my mother’s name… then tellme my fathers!” The blood drained out of my father’s face, and guilt rose in mychest. I forged onwards anyway, because this needed doing if we were going tosurvive the Long Night without worrying about knives in our backs. “People talkabout me, and I hear it all the time. ‘The Honorable Ned Stark’s only sin’,they call me. But they don’t know you, Father. Not like I do. Not enough toknow that… you wouldn’t. Not after you wed, not after you swore an oath. Evenif Lady Stark was supposed to be yourelder brother’s wife… you would never dishonour her that way.”

Father’s grip on the Heart Tree’s bark was desperate as hiseyes searched my face. I swallowed, hating the pain I saw in his eyes. “Idon’t… It matters not who sired me, not truly. You are my father in all the ways that count, and aye, your bloodis in my veins, but… it was Lord Brandon who sired me, wasn’t it. With LadyAshara Dayne. If I had been a girl… you could have left me there, let me be aSand. But I was a boy, and the only son of Rickard Stark’s eldest son. That’swhy everyone says Lady Ashara’s daughterwas stillborn. It was a misdirection to cover your tracks, because LordBrandon’s son, even a bastard one, could have a stronger claim than your sonsand-”

“Stop. Jon, please. That’s enough. That is… that is morethan enough.” Strong, sword calloused hands gripped my shoulders, and sterngrey eyes held mine for a long moment before my Father’s expression softened.“I can see now, how much this has troubled you. You’ve never liked the thoughtof causing problems for Robb, and I can well believe that you would draw theworst possible conclusion… Aye, I suppose there’s nothing for it now.Especially not with that sort of rumour taking root…”

I forced my jaw to relax and my breathing to steady.“Father?”

“Your mother was not Ashara Dayne, Jon. And your father wasnot my brother. Would that… would that they hadbeen your parents. Perhaps this would be a simple thing to speak of.” Old, deeppain etched lines in my father’s face, and for a horrible moment I imagined it.Of being the only one still remaining of my siblings. Of Robb slain bytreachery, Sansa stolen away by our enemies, Arya and Bran losing themselves tovengeance and madness, Rickon’s memories of us fading away until he forgot usentirely… Father closed his eyes, seeming to gather his strength before hecould look me in the eye again. “You will always be my son, Jon. My blood is inyour veins, Jon. As is… as is the blood of my sister, Lyanna.”

I had been hoping for it, expecting it even, but still hearing him say it made my breath catchlike I had just been hit. There in front of the Heart Tree, with the truthringing in my ears, all I could manage to do was blink. “But… that would makemy father… but I don’t want to be aTargaryen! I want to be a Stark! Father, don’t tell anyone else!”

Sputtering a relieved laugh my father shook me gently untilI stopped whining, and then he pulled me into an embrace. “I promise, Jon. Noone else will ever know.”

“Mm… maybe… uh, maybe oneother person.” I felt my father stiffen, and I firmly kept my face pressed intothe fur of his collar. “Maybe… I think it would be okay for you to tell LadyStark? Maybe then she’ll agree to have a proper marriage ceremony.”

“Jon, I… I know Cat hasn’t always been kind to you. Are yousure you wish for her to know?” Father pushed me back so he could see my face.I pouted shamelessly, because proper hugs were stupidly scarce in thismachismo-laden hellscape. “Don’t… don’t say yes because you want to make thingseasier for me, Jon. I can handle an argument with my wife.”

“But you want to get married in front of the Heart Tree.” Ipointed out sullenly, keeping my eyes firmly on my father’s chin. “And youcan’t do that while you keep secrets from her.”

“It’s been three and ten years, Jon.” Father sighed, clearlonging in his words even as he pushed his own wants aside for the sake of hisduty. “If she were willing to truly join the North she would have saidsomething to me by now.”

Oh, that comment was going to burn. I know my dear eavesdropping Auntie has never felt welcome inthe North, and now she knows why.This is delicious and I love it.

“Tell her anyway, Father.” Meeting those grey eyes again, Ioffered up a wry smile. “Perhaps this will be enough for her to make thatoffer. Perhaps it will calm her fears about me hurting Robb. Perhaps she willsimply continue to ignore the fact that I exist until she cannot avoid it anylonger. Regardless of the outcome, she at least deserves to know that you havenever broken your oaths to her. She deserves to know that another oath boundyou to silence, for all our sakes.”

“You are a good boy, Jon.” Father smiled, embracing me againas he kissed my hair. “Never forget that kindness. It is a great gift.”

“I won’t, Father.” I smiled back and leaned into thestrength of the only father I would ever acknowledge. “After all, I have you toshow me what to do.”

/…/

The next morning, I could see that Father had spoken to hiswife. The way she looked at me… Catelyn was ashamed of herself. Was writhing inguilt of her own making like a worm on a hook. Doubtless she was rememberingthe promise she had made to her Seven Gods, the promise she had broken so veryquickly when she learned that I had lived through my fever.

This was no less than she deserved.

I took my seat at the head table without sparing her morethan a glance. Catelyn’s eyes were reddened and heavy from a night of weeping.For once, there was no transparent attempt to have me sit elsewhere, removedfrom my family. Sansa wrinkled her nose at me, only having recently learnedwhat the word ‘bastard’ meant, thanks to the Southron influences in her life.

Robb and Theon glanced at Lady Stark, but did not hesitateto draw me into their morning conversation once I was seated.

“So.” Robb kept his voice quiet enough not to be heardbeyond our small huddle. “Did you get the nameday gift you wanted?”

“I did.” Inclining my head, I answered just as quietly.“It’s like we thought. She’s dead, but Father’s still trying to protect hermemory.”

“But he gave you a name?” Theon questioned, sharp eyesscanning slowly over the hall for listening ears.

“He did. I asked him to tell Lady Stark.” I shrugged whenthey both looked at me strangely. “Perhaps now she will stop fretting over it.It would be nice not to be accused of causing everything that inconveniencesher.”

“Aye, that’s clever.” Grinning, Theon bumped his shoulderinto mine as he pulled his plate closer. “And now she owes you a debt, too.”

“Let’s not bring attention to that, shall we?” I smackedTheon’s fingers with the back of my knife before he could steal my bread.“That’s my breakfast, Greyjoy. Get your own.”

“But it tastes better when it’s stolen!” Laughing as heprotested, Theon held his hands up in surrender when I pointed my knife at him.“I yield, I yield. Your food is safe, Snow.”

“Now there’s a lie if I ever heard one.” Robb snorted,curling his arm around his plate when Theon turned to him with a woundedexpression. “You’re a shameless food sneak, Theon. The cooks are all out forvengeance over missing platters.”

With a disdainful sniff, Theon turned back to his own plate.“I’m a growing man.”

“You’re a bottomless pit, is what you are.” I eyed theIronborn boy up and down. “How are you this weedy if all you do is eat?”

“You’re one to talk.” Robb snickered, the smug little shit.One day he would actually reach an awkward growth stage and I was going tolaugh so hard. “You’re barely biggerthan the girls, Snow.”

The was a scraping noise as Father stood up and cleared histhroat, drawing every eye in the hall and cutting off my retort. Robb was goingto get his ass kicked for that comment later during our arms practice. For now,I held my tongue and paid attention as Father raised his hand for silence.

“I have two announcements to make this morning.” Fatherturned and smiled at his wife, placing a hand on the back of her chair. “Tocelebrate the anniversary of King Robert’s coronation, my Lady Wife and I shallbe renewing our vows in the Godswood. The invitations to our bannermen Housesshall be sent later today.”

A cheer shook the rafters. I laughed and clapped my hands,vastly entertained by the dumbstruck look on Catelyn’s face as the Northernpeople applauded. This was the first step to her gaining full acceptance, and Iplanned to keep that momentum going.

“Second.” Father continued once the ruckus had died down. “Withthe blessings and council of my Lady Wife, I have written to King Robert askingfor the granting of legitimacy to my natural born son. Once it is official, JonStark will be named the future lord of Moat Cailin and tasked with itsrestoration.”

Robb and Theon whooped, pounding me on the back as I gapedat my father. Arya shrieked in glee and lunged across the table to throw herarms around my neck. Even Sansa was smiling, even if it looked a bit stiff withconfusion. Baby Rickon had no idea what was going on but he still added hisvoice to the mess.

Holy shit yes. My plans were working. Theon actually had manners, Father had told the truthabout my birth, Lady Stark had gotten a reality check, and I had actually been legitimized…

Fucking right, I was going to Machiavelli the hell out of the Seven Kingdoms. Next up,convincing Father to have Arya fostered with the Mormonts, or at least have hertutored as a shieldmaiden by one, and then I was going to get Sansa someone shecould have an actual intelligent conversation with.

Yes, excellent. This pleases me.

=/=

[rugessnome]

I talk more about the Plagueis resurrecting not-Medusa art

I'm not yet confident enough to leave off with sacrificial text for the cut; I only hope the cut will take without needing a second try at editing

A. Hair speculations

As a long haired person (but one who is aphantasic and not really versed at all in hairstyles or artistic depictions of hair), there are two things I notice about ponytail!Palpatine:

The remainder of his hair, the head part, I swear is modeled after one of the main teenage Jedi padawans we see in the prequels. I haven't looked it up to say whether it's Obi-Wan or Anakin I'm thinking of. BUT Jedi Padawans have their hair shorn pretty short!

and uhhh for most of my life I had bangs I recently discovered that under some conditions, the hair going back from my forehead can semi-spontaneously achieve some volume in a way that reminds me of either like... Edwardian hairdos I think? (the Gibson Girl) or FLDS hairstyles BUT I believe that unless you are teasing it/using hairspray/augmenting with some sort of rat, puffy head hair doesn't correspond with enough tension for ponytails to do the perky pony's tail thing

ergo I don't think his hair here is realistic either because I don't think he's resorting to those methods under these conditions

B. The surgical theater parody art I want instead:

Can't decide whether Easkin(s?) or (not actually a surgical theater technically) Rembrandt should be the inspiration

But I was thinking of one of Rembrandt's Anatomy Lesson (the complete one with the arm) paintings in my head when I said that

As an homage to "Like A Surgeon", which in turn was nodding to idk "Men in Black" I think someone said, part of the Anatomical Lesson... scale audience should be Drs Howard and Fine

(Which makes me want Dewey Cheatham and Howe, from something completely different, in this somehow)

..."Yankee Doodle Doctor"

...how would Hawkeye react to "Like A Surgeon" anyway? (like pretty sure Alda is still with us so on the proper timeline show!hawk should live until at least mmmmrm somewhere between ~'90 & '00 I forget exactly which years the show was on)

Plagueis holding an artificial heart... because of THAT scene and also the uh infamous fic I've lost track of that was inspired by it and frankly a bit much for me.

Fourdee is attending.

"Tell-Tale. Heart."

but what if Klinger is there, entirely dressed as A Nurse and eating popcorn

this is too much but: the "patient" subject is on what is technically a rack. But like... it's not extended and they are supported so it's not As Bad as it sounds

C. I'll grant this is a silly objection but I kinda hate that the Nightsister head is shown as Attractive Woman #476

I might be mixing things up but was the gorgon Medusa perhaps given her snakes as a measure of mercy against those who would not stop harassing her?

like i know Ellen was the one who brought up Medusa, it's not in the art technically but just.... eurgh. Don't like the "Our Villains (and possible power fantasies) get to Live in a World where Every Dame is a Gal, y'know"

Darth Plagueis is NOT Nero Wolfe (not that he has any good excuses either) and should be shown having serious interactions with people who are not male!! please remove your misogyny! but then again... It's present in the then future in Vader's navy so ah. Can't escape it huh?

whoops this makes me want Plagueis interacting with Merope Gaunt as like... Statement about Attractiveness and Poverty and Corporeal Exploitation

speaking of aesthetics why does the flora of hellworld silhouette like saguaros (?) seguaros? the cacti.

what the heck is the huge sphere in the sky??

ash? volcanic ash? Like... maybe I don't remember the explosion types from when I was a kid with a book about volcanos but I don't think that's a good sign and i ask why you're standing around doing necromancy instead of getting out of there like it's Pompeii

...Plagueis as Frankenstein? The monstrous*? ...well!

*"I don't believe that man had a medical degree"? (Which is to say I do mean the human Frankenstein not the Creature ...although I haven't read Frankenstein...yet)

[panbelacqua]

Initial Thoughts on Hiveswap Act 1:

Spoilers below:

The art is excellent, we already knew this - and it stays excellent throughout the duration of the act. What really hit me were the leitmotifs: from the use of ‘English’ when opening the portal, to ‘Hate You’ when we see Trizza, the music subtly calls back to Homestuck, tying together similar/related concepts, and serving to reinforce the idea that these stories don’t just share a world: they’re important to one another.

Joey’s characterization is really interesting, especially as a Homestuck fan. We can see the way that she and Rose diverge in their opinions of Roxy. To Joey, she was an authority figure, but she was also still basically a kid. Rose had to deal with that kid, now grown-up, and without the mitigating presence of a sibling. Roxy’s stance on Jake also serves to round-out the B1 Universe: just like B1 Dirk and Roxy, Jake was an awful parent, neglectful of the needs of his children. 

The writing alludes to future events juuust enough to be tantalizing. The sly references to Jane when you examine her picture, and the implications this has for Dad, John, and Jade. Joey’s refusal to use the rubber dart guns Jude plays with, and the reason (Jake) why.

Alternia is incredibly pretty. We can see a sprawling metropolis, without ever ‘breaking character’ and getting a crowd-shot, as is typical for Homestuck, which I liked. The lore seems to be mostly correct (Xefros’ erroneous assertion about ALL adults living offworld aside?), and having read the comic, everything slots into place quite nicely, while adding to the existing lore. In particular, getting more clarifiation on lusii (that they’re species of Alternian fauna, each with their own genetic classification) was really nice.

The puzzling never comes off as obtuse, and the obstacles (mostly) feel natural, rather than arbitrary interjections of difficulty.

And then there’s Dammek.

I don’t know how they’re going to handle Dammek in the future, or in Hauntswitch, but right now? Oh Boy. I guess it might be natural, given how many of the troll players were dicks, that at least one of the ‘protag’ trolls we meet is, but. Yikes. I’m hoping that this situation isn’t just...left. We have 7 more acts for this to be worked on (speaking of, will owning both games add an epilogue, or will we know the rough ending of Hauntswitch, before the 1st Act even comes out, due to playing Hiveswap?), so...I dunno. Xefros and Dammek clearly aren’t good for one another, which is a massive shame, given how they seemed to be highlighted as a central m/m romance (though they probably wouldn’t be sharing much screentime, given their current interuniversal separation). Dammek’s 15ish, so it’s not like he’s really...culpable as an adult, but I’m not yet sure how much that matters? He’s a kid raised on alien hellworld, so it’s not like he’s actually been shown how interpersonal interactions should work. Maybe human exposure’ll do that, in Hauntswitch? I just don’t want him to stayyyy an asshole, and I don’t want Xefros to be forced to forgive him, but I want m/m romance.

What I’m HOPING is that Joey’s romantic interest in women isn’t just something to generate quirky text, and that her sole expression of attraction to men (which is expressed in the small percentage of her text being spoken to another person), is feigned. All/almost all of the troll characters will be bi, it would be nice to have a lesbian in the main cast. Building on this, setting Joey up with a girl troll just. Please. I was hoping for Cridea, untilll I paid more attention to her age from pre-release stuff. Even assuming Joey turns 15 tomorrow (which would be funny, given her comment about not wanting to spend any birthdays on Alternia), then she’s 2.3 years younger than the 17.33 year old Cridea Jeevik. So, not great.

They mentioned 5 playable characters though, iirc? Joey, Jude, Xefros, and 2 others. Assuming Cridea’s one (which we don’t know), here’s hoping the last is a girl around Joey’s age.

‘Cause oooohman, if the romance ends up being: -Abusive moirallegiance -M/F romance between Xefros and Joey hmmmmmmmmmnope (Also: why haven’t we heard Dammek’s last name?)

[geek-patient-zero]

Part 1, Chapter 11

Or: Oh Boy, Here I Go Killing Again

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Death Trilogy Volume 1

Washington DC—March 12, 1994

We’re back with Makish as he continues his contract work for the Red Death.

Normally, a city the size of the nation’s capital could support a dozen Kindred comfortably.

It’s implied any more than that and people will start noticing the disappearances, or all the people waking up with less blood in them than the night before and no memory of why that is. I think it’s also a holdover from the tabletop game, where you’ve got the established canon characters living in a city, the player characters, and a few of the storyteller’s OC’s. You don’t expect the poor storyteller to come up with a whole functioning Kindred community, so your average game might have about a dozen or so vampire characters. Though, that population number makes many vampire conflicts seem sillier and pettier. All that political maneuvering and deception just to rule over about eleven other dudes.

Despite half of the city being a warzone where even the police fear to tread, the city still gets over ten million tourists visiting a year. Disaster tourism, I guess. Combined with the regular political changing of the guard resulting in a constantly shifting population, a city that can usually fit in a dozen vamps can fit several dozen.

Last night, the Red Death had lowered that number by two. This evening, Makish planned to continue that trend. Following the instructions of his grisly employer, the Assamite intended to wipe out more than a quarter of the Kindred residing in Washington. It was an ambitious plan, but Makish enjoyed challenges. The Red Death had proposed a sliding-scale bounty for each vampire slain. The greater the number killed, the larger the reward per Final Death. Tonight, Makish was feeling very greedy. And quite lethal.

Makish’s target this chapter is in a “popular private men’s club” called The Deadlands, located in Anacostia.

It was located east of the Anacostia river in one of the worst neighborhoods in Washington.

Hopefully Anacostia’s being portrayed like this because it’s the World of Darkness, a Harsher, Crueler Version of Our World, and not because it’s a low-income black neighborhood.

No one visited The Deadlands without a bodyguard. Or tried to enter without an invitation.

The club’s owned by an eighth-generation Toreador named John Thompson, a Camarilla liaison with the U.S. government who controlled several powerful politicians by, well, pimping to them.

Well connected with the most corrupt power mongers in the capital, Thompson worked hard to satisfy the most decadent wishes of his establishment’s exclusive membership.

Unfortunately for his “employees”, Thompson’s pimping style seems to be a Littlefinger as Jeff Epstein kind of deal, his services ranging from offering your typical vanilla paid sex to crueler fair.

No desire was too extreme for those who frequented the Deadlands. Sex and drugs were the norm. Orgies took place every night. Sadism, torture, even ritual sacrifice could be experienced—for the right price. More than one tax increase had been passed to help pay Thompson’s fee for a Congressman’s outrageous request.

You know what’s sad? In this real life hellworld, if politicians were paying to torture and murder prostitutes with their constituents’ tax money, would we even be surprised at this point? Plus, a chunk of the country would suddenly become openly pro prostitute murder and pay more money in taxes to “trigger the libs.”

Despite being Camarilla, Thompson’s business practices sound like something a Toreador antitribu would do, those guys finding beauty in the suffering of others. Makish seems to agree.

Makish was, in his own twisted manner, a highly moral individual. He considered Thompson a necessary but unfortunate link between the world of the living and undead. To ensure their safety, Kindred needed control over important people in government. That much Makish accepted. The assassin, however, found extremely distasteful the constant pandering to the basest instincts of the politicians. He felt such acts put the Camarilla on the same level as the hated Sabbat. Removing Thompson promised to be an enjoyable artistic endeavor.

Makish arrives at the club just after 1:00 am, with a bag full of handy assassin gadgets. He’s already in high spirits because he killed three racist thugs who tried to jump him on his walk to the club.

Before attacking, they had stupidly made several insulting remarks about the color of his skin and the nature of his ancestors. It had been bad judgement on their part. The Assamite had strangled the trio with their own intestines. Makish considered the horrified look of stunned disbelief in their eyes as they choked to death adequate repayment for their affronts to his dignity.

The club’s front entrance guarded by a half-dozen brick shithouse ghouls openly carrying AK-47′s.

No police patrolled this section of the capital. None dared.

More likely the ghouls look white enough to carry assault rifles in an American city, so the cops leave them alone.

Makish smiled and shook his head. Like too many of the Kindred, Thompson had grown complacent. He believed himself invulnerable. Dealing with ordinary humans had dulled the edge of his wits. Ghouls were stronger and faster and deadlier. However, they lacked imagination and realization what a truly powerful Kindred could do if provoked.

The Red Death mocked Kindred who depended on basic technology like security cameras. Madeleine Giovanni tore through the Mausoleum’s defenses and criticized its dependence on ghouls. Now Makish is doing the same. Is there any kind of security method these undead pricks don’t smugly look down on? I’m starting to think Vampire: The Masquerade should have kept the “vampires need to be invited in” rule.

Wait, I remember now. Madeleine couldn’t infiltrate Don Caravelli’s hideout. ‘Course, what defenses he has, beyond Kindred bodyguards, are suspiciously unmentioned. Maybe next book.

They were no match for an Assamite assassin. Especially this particular Assamite assassin. A direct assault would take too much time and give Thompson a chance to escape the surroundings. But there was more than one way to enter a fortress. Any fortress.

The Assamite Clan was renamed as the Banu Haqim in V5, and the term “Assamite” was changed into a disparaging nickname. At first I thought this change was because Assamite may have been a slur, but every google result leads to something V:TM related. It looks like Assamite’s just the word “assassin” changed up, making phrases like “Assamite assassin” sound redundant. No insensitivity in this case. Just a stupid name.

Makish does some rooftop hopping to get to The Deadlands.

The club was less than thirty feet away. The ghouls never looked up.

John Thompson exclusively ghouls stealth game NPCs.

The Deadlands is a rebuilt and reinforced Victorian mansion. Pretty extensively rebuilt too, since it’s five stories tall and Victorian homes typically had only two or three. It has alarms and motion detectors embedded in the roof and gables, which don’t go off when Makish lands on it.

The Assamite had mentally locked them into their present setting. Makish possessed incredible powers over machinery.

This again. I did some digging and learned there’s a branch of Thaumatergy called the Path of Technomancy. It could allow Makish to do this, but it was introduced in the Revised version of the Camarilla sourcebook released in 1999, four years after Blood War was published. It could also be a form of telekinesis. Whatever the case, it’s still a bullshit power to bust out so casually. It isn’t even unique to Makish.

Sensing that the only people on the top floor are two humans “engaged in an act of passion,” he hardens his fingers, peels off a section of the roof, and jumps down.

Thompson was two levels down, talking business with a pair of potential customers. Running on a tight schedule, Makish had no time for subtlety. He planned leaving no survivors of his attacks. While he disliked killing innocent bystanders, these lawmakers could hardly be described as guiltless. Murdering them was probably doing their constituents a favor.

The moment Makish enters, his stealth rating is immediately ruined. Those two mortals banging in another room? The ones Makish specifically noted and decided were unlikely to notice him entering? Makish was so busy fantasizing about killing corrupt politicians that he didn’t notice one of them, a high-priced prostitute, rush out of the room until she starts screaming. He quickly reads her mind, because he didn’t have enough powers. Look, he’s a thousand years old, so he gets a shmorgishborg of disciplines. He learns that her john, an old fuck of a senator, had a heart attack during his throes of passion. Classic scenario, I know. She ran out to find help, only to find this random Indian guy breaking in through a hole in the roof.

I’d like to say things go well for the woman. That Makish can also erase memories and wipes her mind so she forgets ever seeing him, or that he just knocked her out. But this is a dark fantasy story, and typical of dark fantasy, the sex worker dies.

“My apologies,” said Makish regretfully and slapped the screaming woman hard across the temple. The blow instantly shattered her skull and she collapsed on the floor in a pool of blood.”

Oh Makish. You were almost the most heroic character in this book. But hey, at least he feels sorry about it, eh? Eh? Eh.

He then checks on the senator in the room she ran out of, dragging her corpse along with him.

The senator lay on the bed, clutching his chest, gasping for breath. He had suffered a minor coronary. Enough to incapacitate him, but not to kill. Makish completed the job by tearing out the man’s heart.

Unnecessary, but I’m not going to judge him for that one.

“Casually, he threw the woman’s body across the politician’s. United in life, he felt it proper that they should be united in death.”

This I’ll judge him for. You already killed the poor woman, you don’t have to make it worse by trying to symbolically link her with the gross old guy she was paid to fuck. Friggin’ artists...

Alarms, activated by the girl’s screams, were ringing throughout the house.

You ask me, scream-activated alarms aren’t a good idea to have in a whorehouse.

Seriously though, a guard must have heard the screaming and sounded the alarm. Makish doesn’t use his maybe-tehcnomancy to turn them off.

He preferred minor chaos when he worked. Confusion served him well.

See? He meant to blow his cover the instant he entered the building.

Makish hurries downstairs and bumps into three armed ghouls. Pretending to be a terrified innocent bystander, he points them upstairs, telling them the now-dead senator might be dying. Then he tears out there throats as they run past him.

There aren’t any more interruptions on his way to Thompson’s office. He slips in, nods pleasantly to the two politicians inside, then kills them by smashing their heads together.

Thompson, a short, squat man with a huge handlebar mustache, gaped in astonishment.

Toreador are stereotyped as the Beautiful Vampires, but for every sexy male Toreador you get an average-looking schlub like Isaac Abrams and this guy. And no, I’m not giving him any points for the mustache. People with handlebar mustaches after 1900 are compensating for having no personality.

“Who-who are you?” he asked.

“I bring justice,” said the assassin, aware of the hidden camera and tape machines recording his every word and action. His rather stilted dialogue had come directly from the Red Death.

On the one hand, I love that Red D.’s canonically a bad writer. On the other, this is coming from an actual writer who’s allergic to contractions, and it’d be hard to notice when the dialogue is intentionally stilted without us being told so.

“For too many years your presence in this city has offended the Sabbat. Tonight that insult ends.”

You’d think being recorded claiming to represent the Sabbat would cause Makish future trouble getting Camarilla contracts, but he doesn’t look worried about it.

Thompson tries to stall for time, saying they can make a deal, but Makish already read his mind and knows about the already-pressed security button under his desk, and the hidden emergency escape passage nearby.

Makish toyed with the idea of letting Thompson escape into the passage, extending the hunt by a few minutes. It appealed to his sense of irony. But business was business and he had numerous other killings to perform tonight. Sometimes art had to be sacrificed in the name of expediency.

And sometimes expediency is needed to get an artist to make art at all. Am I right or am I right?

Makish reaches into his assassin bag and pulls out a big-ass wooden stake. Thompson shrieks and tries to escape, but Makish quickly stakes him in the heart.

Contrary to popular belief, a wooden stake didn’t kill a vampire. However, it did paralyze the Cainite until removed. Thompson was unharmed, merely immobilized. Which was exactly what Makish wanted.

I’d like to thank Weinberg for not subjecting us to yet another one of those “everything the movies say about vampires is bullshit” speeches that’s in every other vampire story. Even Bloodlines couldn’t resist one.

Also, “unharmed” like stabbing someone in the chest with a big wooden spike leaves no mark.

Next out of Makish’s bag is a roll of gray tape and “a small circular device two inches in diameter.” He also technomances all the recording devices off.

He preferred not displaying his special toys to the eyes of either the Camarilla or the Sabbat. His fondness for Thermit was well known. Death by high explosives was Makish’s favorite artistic expression.

This is one of those scenes that’s stuck with me since I first read this book all those years ago. The way Makish kills Thompson is actually pretty awesome, and is a better example of an “artistic kill” than just disemboweling someone in one quick blow. Just ignore how he’s able to do all this before the ghouls Thompson summoned reach the office.

“Open wide, please,” said Makish politely, and with one hand forced the round ball into Thompson’s mouth. A thin strand of wire connected the device to the stake buried in the vampire’s chest. Carefully Makish wound the heavy-duty tape around his victim’s mouth and upper body. Reinforced with optical fiberglass threads, the tape was nearly indestructible. It could not be torn, only unraveled. Taking it off required hours of hard work. Removing the stake, though, took much less effort.

“Your ghouls should arrive shortly,” declared Makish cheerfully. “Seeing you frozen on the floor, they will immediately think to withdraw the cause of your anguish. You will not be able to tell them not to. Unfortunately, when they pull out the stake, the action will activate the trigger of the plaything in your mouth. It is a small but extremely powerful Thermit bomb. The resulting fire should burn your body to ashes in seconds. The colors will be spectacular. It will be an artistic finish to your existence.”

Taking his bag, Makish stepped into the secret passage. It was a quicker, easier escape method than returning to the roof.

“Goodbye”’ he said to the unmoving Thompson. “Thank you for your cooperation. Enjoy the wait.”

Funny story about this scene.

Like I said, this kill made such an impression on me I still remembered it twenty years later. But over that time, I forgot certain other details about the story. Like Makish. As in, I forgot the character existed at all. The same thing happened with Mad-Eye Moody between Harry Potter books. I read Order of the Phoenix when it came out, several years after The Goblet of Fire, and thought “Wait, who’s this guy with the fake eye? Is he important?”

While I was forgetting details about Blood War, I’d been reading online discussions about Bloodlines after it came out. I’d never played the game before 2019, but I knew a bit about the plot, characters, and notable events... I’d say through cultural osmosis, but let’s be real, Bloodlines was hardly popular enough to be called part of a culture. I was just good at remembering useless geek crap with no real-world applicability. The stuff I knew about the game included a character in it who also made an impressive kill using explosives. 

What I’m saying is, memories blurred together and for several years and until now, I would have sworn the killer in this scene was Smiling Jack.

Now I know Jack was introduced in Bloodlines, but just a year ago I’d thought that maybe he was a character from the tabletop or an early novel, like Beckett. Also, I misremembered his name as Mad Jack. Long story short, I read the book, learned about Makish, went “oh”, remembered that my family has a history of senility, and sunk into existential despair.

The explosion was so loud that Makish heard it two blocks from The Deadlands. He nodded in satisfaction, deciding it was an excellent beginning for the evening’s endeavors.

[utopianparadoxist]

I don’t usually post about stuff like this but here’s some advice on curating fandom space, since I’m having an insomnia episode and am in a wistful sort of mood

Sometimes, I sure wish people would just like talk to me instead of being weird vipers about stuff.

But like, here we are, and if you try to make anything ultimately there will be people who don’t like what you think or don’t agree with it. I think most of the time the best thing to do even in those cases is to talk about it! So I try to, and I’ve made a lot of fantastic friends recently just by opening conversations and being honest about what I like and how I feel. 

I’ve seriously made SO many more friends than I’ve lost that way, and I’m kind of the most fulfilled I’ve ever been socially speaking for it. I’ve even made friends with people I’ve really strongly disagreed with in some respects. It’s been great!

But it hasn’t always gone that way obvs. Other times I’ve gotten people making fun of me or being disingenuous or even downright mean about stuff and like, w.e, you know, that’ll happen. So I wanted to write about how I handle that stuff and why I approach it the way I do. Here’s that ramble.

My response to that kind of thing is always the same. 

It’s what I recommend everyone engaging with fandom does when confronted with stuff like that: 

Block, blacklist, and forget their names. Don’t give anyone the benefit of even being a voice in your head to make you hate or doubt yourself.

Ultimately, I do everything I do with a specific perspective. My life p much fell apart in November, and now my entire sense of self and sanity is based on the reality in my head that there’s fucking Nazis out there, and they want to kill anyone with values even remotely like mine.

By and large that goes for the people who have been cruel or bizzare to me, too. I don’t really spare any resentment or anger in my heart for anyone on those terms because ultimately we’re all angry and pissed off and tired and in danger.  I like to live with high hopes and a light heart, and where people upset me enough for me to distance myself, I try to remember them only insofar as in wishing them well on their path of experience and learning.  But the fact that I understand and wish I could make it better doesn’t mean that I owe it to anyone who clearly isn’t interested in genuinely engaging with me the time of day. And there are real, visceral dangers in our lives right now that deeply wish to overtake us. 

Sometimes I can’t get out of bed thinking about how doomed I think we are. Sometimes it stalls me out when I’m working, or writing, or driving. Sometimes my thoughts are too jittery and nervous and closed in for me to even talk just with the amount of damnation and fear and self-loathing pent up in my own head.

So like, I don’t need extra help on that front from people who aren’t willing to actually have a conversation, you know? And probably neither do you, because like...who does really. We all have lives to live. 

Part of why I do what I do here and talk about Homestuck positively so much is that I think a sense of unity and kinship is important in progressive spaces, and I can’t imagine a better story to encourage that than this inherently anti-fascist, anti-materialistic epic founded on the existential worthiness of LGBT love.

Part of why I do what I do here is an attempt to stoke a mentality of togetherness. Because on some level I hope I can make friends with people and feel less alone in the fucked up hellworld we seem to be stuck in. 

So I’m invested in positivity and kindness and I don’t think being a “cool mean gay” is useful progressive praxis. I’ll readily distance myself from people who employ it at me, since it isn’t useful or constructive. And if you’re interested in experiencing online relationships in a way that isn’t exhausting and vicious I earnestly suggest picking up the habit!

Most people aren’t like that anyway, though, which is an encouraging thing I’ve learned over the last couple months. 

Most people are kind and honest and willing to talk about stuff, so long as you give them the time. Don’t ever let small minorities of the mean-spirited stop you from putting art or thoughts out there that are unique and yours and full of love, no matter how loud they are. Don’t let the darkness of some discourage you from sharing your light with the many.

Whoever you are, reading this, know that I think you’re cool and smart and that we could probably have some interesting conversations if you talked to me as an equal. And know that most people think that way, too! There’s no need to let some make you feel down about yourself just because they don’t. It’s their loss.

Hopin to post that Jane meta by the end of the week! It’s p much finished, I’m just nervous and trying to polish my editing as much as possible.

Keep Rising,

[bookaddict24-7]

June 2017 Book Wrap-Up!

Though the end of June has been an emotional mess for me, I did manage to read ten books in early to mid-June. I read the six pictured books, one borrowed book, and three e-galleys from Edelweiss. This was a really mixed month when it comes to ratings, so we will see how this goes! 

If you saw my June TBR, then you know I failed horribly on the books I wanted to read in June. Nevertheless, that stack remains on my dresser. 

I’m also trying to be a little better with reviews (especially with books I’ve received for review), so like the last two months, I’ll link those reviews under each book that applies. With that being said, this will be a slightly longer post because of all of the books. 

You can friend me on Goodreads here to see what I’m currently reading!

Tell me what books you have read this month and what you thought about them! I love seeing what you’re all reading!

Warning: There may or may not be spoilers ahead.

Question: Would you all like me to add anymore information regarding the books I’ve read in next month’s wrap up? 

Hellworld by Tom Leveen

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Indigo Books & Music Inc. in exchange for an honest review

I’ve only read one other book by Tom Leveen in the past and my liking it was an unpopular opinion. I wasn’t naive enough to think that this would be an amazing read, but I mean, I had hopes that I would still enjoy it. The premise sounded cool and the cover was pretty interesting (ignoring the slightly cliche and inaccurate nature of what the image portrays regarding the story). While I didn’t absolutely hate it, I found it to be slightly problematic and I would be wary to recommend this one to other readers. 

You can check out my mini review here and you can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 2/5 Stars

The Impossible Vastness of Us by Samantha Young

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Indigo Books & Music Inc. in exchange for an honest review

I won’t lie--I was a little wary of this book. Mainly because I wasn’t sure if I was in the mood for contemporary, but also because I was worried it would be a fluffy teen romance that would just have me rolling my eyes all over the place. But you know, I’ve learned that though I roll my eyes, I secretly love this romantic stuff. That being said, however, this book had a lot more depth than I thought it would have. Despite the shallow persona of the protagonist at the beginning of the novel and her “popularity” and need to be popular, the character quickly grew into someone more interesting. 

This honestly felt like a more romance-themed mash-up of Paper Princess by Erin Watt and Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen--which may sound like a weird combo, but it sort of worked? My main issue was the dramatic aspect and meanness of some of the characters. But I’m a sucker for these “poor to rich” contemporary YALit storylines, I’m not even going to lie. 

You can read another mini review I wrote here and you can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 3.5/5 Stars.

Noteworthy by Riley Redgate

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Indigo Books & Music Inc. in exchange for an honest review

Noteworthy was probably my favourite read of the month. I think this is one of the most underhyped books I’ve seen for a while. Redgate’s novel has diversity, it explores the complexity of gender in our society, it acknowledges bisexuality, it’s funny, and it has some fantastic quotable insights.

Also, if you liked She’s the Man, you’d really like this--though it’s a little more serious in tone and deals with music instead of soccer. 

I wrote a slightly longer review here and you can add it to your tbr on Goodreads here (you won’t regret it!). 

I gave this book 5/5 Stars.

Warcross by Marie Lu

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Indigo Books & Music Inc. in exchange for an honest review

Release Date: September 12, 2017

I haven’t added a review for Warcross on Goodreads because this book doesn’t come out until September and I know that it’s highly anticipated, so I’ve been a little wary of saying too much. 

For the most part, I really enjoyed this book. It was exciting, intriguing, and addicting. The premise is interesting, but some of the events were slightly predictable. There have been some instances where this has been compared to Ready Player One (which is one of my favourite books) and while I can KIND of see where the comparison is coming from, for the most part this isn’t really and truly like RPO, which was based on a society that basically lived online (for argument’s sake I’ll say that in Lu’s world, they escape to their digital world, but for the most part, they spend their days in the real world.) 

Basically, if in RPO the characters hunting for the easter eggs was a televised event then I would be more keen on comparing Warcross to RPO. If that even makes any sense.

You can add this book to your TBR on Goodreads here. 

I gave this book 4/5 Stars.

Things I’m Seeing Without You by Peter Bognanni

I received this book via Penguin Random House in exchange for an honest review

Release Date: October 3rd, 2017

This book will forever resonate with me, not because of how it was written or because of the main character, but because I finished reading it during one of the most difficult times that my small family has gone through. The title itself has become a part of my daily thoughts because of what it stands for. 

What I liked the most about this book was the treatment of grief and how it can be such a hard-to-manage experience. 

You can read my review here and you can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here. 

I gave this book 4/5 Stars.

Missing by Kelley Armstrong

I received an unsolicited copy of this book via Penguin Random House.

I don’t know what it is about Kelley Armstrong but her books have not been my favourite. A few months ago, I tried reading another one by her and couldn’t really get into it and this one sounded amazing but the protagonist made it really hard for me to fully enjoy this book. 

I can’t even remember how many times I asked “Why?” while reading Missing. This is truly my greatest disappointment of the month. 

You can read my rant review here and you can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 2/5 stars.

Insert Coin to Continue by John David Anderson

I read this one on a whim because it made me think of a middle grade version of Ready Player One. All I can say is that this was extremely adorable because of all the middle grade issues explored: first crushes, nerdy shyness, and a storyline completely made for those kids who love video games and want an alternative to their every day life. 

What I was a little iffy on was the protagonist and how he treated his best friend. I mean, I get that they’re only twelve, but it always irks me when main characters get away with treating their best friends like idiots and don’t really change on that aspect by the end of the novel. But even with that, I still enjoyed the funny and absurd situations this kid got himself into. 

You can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 4/5 Stars.

A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting by Joe Ballarini

I received an e-galley via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.

When I pick middle grade books to read on Edelweiss, I always go for the ones who look really interesting and adventurous. Ballarini’s novel did not disappoint! Taking place over the span of one night, this novel not only explores the creepy world of the boogeyman, but it also teaches its readers that one should never put anyone else down for being different and that it’s okay to not fit into the “popular crowd”. It’s okay to be yourself and if being yourself means that you have the power and knowledge that it takes to defeat the monsters under your bed, then why would you ever want to hide that? 

I think the only reason why I didn’t give this a full five star rating is because it had some unnecessary cruelty in regards to bullying and it felt like the story went on a little bit longer than necessary. 

You can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here. 

I gave this book 4/5 Stars.

Generation One by Pittacus Lore

I received an e-galley via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. 

I never finished the Pittacus Lore series and reading this book made me want to go back and read the rest of the series. From the first page, I was hooked on this book and its characters. I am putty for books with kids who get special powers and this one fell right into that category. 

The action and cool factor of this book was nonstop and I found that while there may have been some allusions to The Lorien series, it didn’t really throw me off the book. This could be read really well by people who haven’t read the previous series, they might just have to do a little bit of research on who the Lorien are beforehand. 

You can add it to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 5/5 Stars

I See London, I See France by Sarah Mlynowski

I received an e-galley via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about this book. While I loved the travel aspects and the humour, I was really frustrated with how much of a pushover the protagonist was. Also, her best friend reminded me of a negative friendship I once had, so that darkened my feelings for this book. 

With all of that however, for the most part I enjoyed this book and where the characters went and the romance. 

You can check out my review here and add this book to your TBR on Goodreads here.

I gave this book 3/5 Stars

And those are all the books I read this month! Have you read any of these books? 

I hope you all had a good reading month and I’ll be posting my July TBR soon!

Happy reading!

[qqueenofhades]

Also (it's past midnight, it is technically the day, and I probably will be too busy to be on tumblr tomorrow): y'all, I'm graduating. With my real actual PhD that a real actual university gave to me. I'm a doctor of a thing. It's been four years of the hardest work imaginable and I have changed so much and been through a lot, and. Wow. That is very strange.

Anyway: I really could not have done it without the people that this stupid blue hellsite has brought into my life, in so many ways. You helped and supported me emotionally, mentally, financially, physically, and any other way you care to name. You talked to me for hours, texted me every day, held my hand, read and flailed over my fics, and asked me things and told me about your lives. Some of you let me come visit and took me places. Many of you have sent me encouraging notes when I bitched about things or how it felt like it would never end. You have often been unfathomably generous in ways I can probably never thank you for. You kicked up a fuss and fought to get me back when said hellsite deleted my blog for a month in March (and trust me, I hated being without you for that time). You have just done a lot for me, and in this hellworld, kindness is always something that should be acknowledged and celebrated and however we can, passed on.

The world and the internet and fandom culture and all that can have many problems. But I remain endlessly grateful for my weird little corner of it with you guys here, and hope I am able to give back a small part of what has been given to me. I love you.