#and i have preferences abt what i find attractive in different genders

[despazito]

somewhat not very fond of those descriptions of bisexuality that are like "we fall in love with a PERSON not a gender" or "we fall in love with personalities not bodies" because i'm like...no i do love people for their bodies and their genders.. just a wide variety of them. there is very much physical attraction at play

[wordy-little-witch]

Hellooo how are you? i just wanna ask wat r ur nsfw headcanons abt crossguild polycule😳

Also i love ur posts❤️

Hiya, honey bee! I'm doing alright, all things considered, thanks for asking, lovely ♡ just sleepy lmaooo

Cross guild my beloved aaaa okay so I'm gonna put the NSFW ones under a cut bc of the content warnings~

Thanks for the ask, I appreciate you!!!!! And thanks for reading, hun ♡ drink water, have a snack if you can, take any medicine you have prescribed and stay safe ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

18+ BELOW vvv

Okay NSFW stuff lezzgo. I am. Genuinely debating doing the consent charts here for each of them, then a layered one with them compared to each other.

Keep in mind, these are my head canons, and I adore when they're different takes and opinions, I think variety is awesome ♡♡♡♡

So let's start with the biggest of our guild boys!!

Crocodile:

FTM, Top surgery done in his early adult years through a series of oddly aligning events, bottom surgery looked into but rendered unneeded via Ivankov's hormones

Likes/Preferences

This man is a SWITCH, he usually Doms and prefers topping, coming from some older dysphoria issues, but honestly? Is open to submitting and bottoming to others when the need arises on a case by case basis.

Not exactly vanilla, but sometimes the intimacy there is nice.

Is fairly ace-spec, all things considered, sees sex as not a need but something enjoyable. Doesn't always even get off during sex, just enjoys the power and rush he gets from his partners. Took a very long time to realize that for himself. Sex positive!

Sadomasochist. Prefers causing the pain, but scratching and biting are HELLA approved for him

Marks marks marks

Idk if there's and actual word for it, but Crocodile LOVES dressing his partner up in finery just to ruin them. Also discovered an additional kink there which will be talked about later on. (See mixed)

He has wild stamina and ca go maybe three rounds before he needs to stop or pause.

Objectively the best at eating out, can and will make one partner moan out loud and the other outright cry.

Mihawk

Cis (?) insofar as he's a man by technicality. He is a SWORDSMAN by choice. He identifies as a threat, and that is not for ironic jokes. Honestly, to Mihawk gender feels complicated and stupid. 0/5 stars, hates it. He could not be paid to give a fuck about that sort of thing beyond his immediate people's happiness.

On that note, also doesn't care what parts someone has or what they identify as. If he likes you, he likes you, that's all there is. Doesn't use labels. Does admit to being more oredominantly attracted to masculine individuals. It is simply Mihawk and The Vibe.

Onwards to the thoughts!!!!

True Switch. Doesn't care. Enjoys dominating, enjoys submitting, likes topping, likes bottoming, but it's a case by case and person by person basis.

Choking. Idk, but something about holding someone by the throat and feeling their skin and muscles and heartbeat under his fingers gives him a rush, I bet.

Not particularly into sadism or masochism specifically, but does enjoy some of the semi-connected things. Knife play is a given, as well as blood play, and ironically hot wax

Trust is big to him.

Sensory play.

Has a personal rule that his partner has to cum at least once before he even thinks about his own pleasure unless that's the pre-established play they're doing that scene.

On that front - service top/service bottom.

Praise and degradation kink, surprisingly enough

Breeding kink

He Will Bite. With consent of course.

Really enjoys edging and teasing his partners. Doesn't like it as much for himself but doesn't DISlike it either.

Disinterest kink, he likes to make his lovers beg for attention and feigning disinterest.

Cockwarming.

Something about making a mess in the bedroom is simply PERFECT for him.

Honestly, Mihawk is down to try anything at least once and isn't too surprised to find new things that he enjoys.

Stamina is INSANE, but goes about one round, maybe 2, before needing to step back. Dw though, he's not leaving. He can ruin someone with more than just that option.

Buggy

AFAB masc nonbinary, no surgeries, Iva's hormones do not work on him, and he makes his own. Had a partial hysterectomy as a child before his Devil Fruit due to a... bad situation. Has numerous scars as well from before then and even a few after when he was learning the limits of his Fruit and the partial immunity to Haki.

Could top, hypothetically, but really does enjoy bottoming more. Will try topping if a partner really wants it, but feels weird and awkward the whole time - only realized that doing it despite his discomfort was not only not healthy but the partners who pushed and pushed for it from him were pushing the boundaries of consent at best. ((Had to talk Mihawk out of hunting the people down for a Talk, had to convince Crocodile and surprisingly Daz out of adding some extra bounties for it ((they still did))))

Will dom!! Enjoys being a power bottom honestly. Subbing is a guilty pleasure he rarely got to indulge in due to his absolutely insane trust issues, but once Mihawk and Crocodile earned that trust from him, he'll be the sweetest or brattiest sub on this planet, just for them

Really good with his mouth.

He's a screamer. Tries to stay quiet but never can on his own.

He falls apart sometimes during intense sex.

He's mortified by it, but he has a daddy kink and the first time he called one of his partners daddy he didn't even realize until Mihawk grabbed him by the neck just so, squeezed, forcing his head to tilt back and see blazing gold and molten violet just for someone to growl "cum for daddy, baby" and his vision went white. He was flustered for DAYS after that. ((Their light hearted teasing did not help, nor did their exploitation of the newly found On Button))

Exhibition kink but not publicly

Breeding kink

Size queen

Likes being manhandling

BIG on being marked up and claimed. ((11/10, would wear a collar if it could stay on permanently))

Together

Neither Crocodile or Mihawk had any opinion on makeup until Buggy - when they get to a certain point with his mascara and eyeliner running, lipstick smudged, eyeshadow casting his face in technicolor bruises, they are besotted and burning in equal measure.

Crocodile finds he apparently has a THING for his lovers in lace, something found purely by circumstance and he felt foolish for not ever noticing before. Is equally flustered when they both use it against him.

After Buggy's moment with calling them Daddy, something Awakened in Croc and Hawk. Words like Sir and Master were familiar but this? Ohhhh it hits Different.

They're all pretty partial to BDSM but they also can be really vanilla too. It's cute and sweet.

Buggy's thigh thighs get their own section ♡

Alright that's all I have rn but I hope you enjoyed!!!!

[lotties-ashwagandha]

lesbian to lesbian...how do u feel about the whole jasmin situation?

lawd i have so much to say

for anyone who isn’t aware here’s what we’re talking abt:

so.

lesbian: women who are attracted to women (some people also prefer to say the definition is people who aren’t men being attracted to people who aren’t men, depends on who you ask)

pansexual: someone who is attracted to ALL genders (including men!!!!!!) without preference. someone who is “genderblind” in romantic or sexual attraction.

saying you’re pansexual and lesbian makes no fucking sense because it’s two separate identities and forms of attraction

and romantic and sexual attraction can be different but in the sense of yk you can be asexual (sexual attraction) and lesbian (romantic attraction) or lesbian sexually and aromantic,, but saying that you’re lesbian and pansexual doesn’t work because by saying you’re attracted to men and genders outside of who lesbians are attracted to, which is women and also non binary people sometimes, you’re creating a huge mf paradox

lesbians don’t want to have sex with men. that’s like. the whole point of lesbianism. as a lesbian myself i would rather eat a giant moldy pile of shit than suck dick 🤷🏻‍♀️

if you’re attracted to all genders but sometimes have a preference thats probs omnisexuality which is like pansexuality but the person has a preference — in someone like jasmin’s case, you could be omnisexual (attracted to all genders) but with a preference for women.

as for trans ppl in relation to lesbianism if you’re a trans man you’re still a man. and if you’re attracted to both trans men and women might i suggest bisexuality or just going unlabeled altogether, or identifying as queer?

i feel the same way about the jasmin situation as i do about “bisexual lesbians.” people are chronically online, biphobic and panphobic and also lesbophobic and that leads to weird shit like “pansexual lesbianism”

weird as hell finding homophobia in the lgbtq community but here we are 🤷🏻‍♀️

[cursedvibes]

If you're still doing the character ask, i'd like to see what you think abt mahito

I do! I just didn't have the mind to write long posts lately, so sorry this took a while. Thanks for asking about Mahito!

Sexuality Headcanon:

Pain. As long as someone is in pain, either him or ideally the other person, he's gonna be attracted to it. That's pretty much the only criteria that matters to him. Wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even have much of a concept of gender, much less differentiates people based on it. If he can make them scream and if they can maybe even fight back a bit, he'll be horny.

Gender Headcanon:

Like I said above, I think he doesn't much care about gender. He prefers a humanoid masculine appearance, but I think if he has any gender it's as malleable as his appearance. His genitals or if he has any or not also changes based on his mood. It seems like most of the time when he's naked there is something between his legs that needs censoring (in the same way Takaba's dick gets censored), but that can change any time.

A ship I have with said character:

Mostly MahiKen. Can't resist mutual vore. But I've been having an eye on Mahito/Yuuji as well since S2 came out. I just like the pure hatred Mahito pulls out of Yuuji and how he makes him go almost manic, but also cold and ruthless. He shows us a very different side of Yuuji and makes him indulge in his darker impulses. At the same time I love how Yuuji can meaningfully hurt Mahito and legitimately make him shit his pants. This equal push and pull between them is really nice.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Pretty much him and the Curse Family. Couldn't pick only one of them, I love the whole group. They just wanted to have fun and be happy together *sigh* It is a bit questionable how much Mahito cares about them (they definitely care about him), but I think they are the closest to friends he has and he would've been the only one of them to survive, he would've missed them. They show us that curses can have positive emotions and form deep bonds as well.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Mahito/Nanami. I don't find Nanami is all that interesting and I especially don't like the way I see people ship this. They turn it from a fucked up and kind of interesting dynamic into strong macho business man/manic pixie dream girl. They really seem to want to make this as straight and bland as possible. Mahito gets that treatment a lot in ships for some reason. It removes his most unique aspects and what makes him so fun in ships.

A random headcanon:

I've seen a fanart I really like of Mahito playing with a child and then turning it into a transfigured human when lifting it in the air. I think he did something similar to the kids and maybe also adults at the playground where the curse family and Kenjaku hung out. Kenjaku would probably be a party-pooper and say not to make a scene, but Mahito would still somehow manage to cause chaos.

General Opinion over said character:

Love him. My favourite jjk villain after Kenjaku. I used to really hate him while reading the manga and especially Shibuya Incident for the first time, but I've come to really like him. His abilities are fantastic too and brought some great horror to the series that I'm honestly missing a bit at the moment. I think his ability to make the fanbase hate him this much also shows how well he serves his purpose. It can be a bit exhausting as a fan, but at least people are most of the time acknowledging how well-written he is.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey, so it seems that everyone is coming out to you so I though why not.

I’m not entirely sure if I’m Pansexual or Bi or something else entirely and honestly it’s kinda confusing (I’m female btw). I mean I don’t rly care abt gender but I find myself attracted to females ALOT more. So yeah idk. Maybe gender does make a difference. But then I don’t like the label Bisexual because it implies that you are attracted to males and females only and not people outside of that.

And also when it comes to coming out to people I kinda feel stuck. What do I say? All of my friends know (they’re also queer) but we never really came out to each other we all just kinda were like “hey! that girl looks good” and went along being gay af. But bc we all just knew abt each other we never really talked abt sexualities and stuff.

And on top of that I’m fairly sure my parents wouldn’t be supportive and no one I know irl can relate to that bc all of my friends parents are accepting.

I feel like I’m complaining over nothing. Im sorry 😫😫. But still love yah and hope you have a nice day 🫶

Hi! <3

I actually can relate to this first part SO much (as far as pan versus bi). When you say you don't care about gender, that sounds like pan to me. But then you say you have a preference, so is that still pan? I've wondered that for myself.

Here's what I have realized: Firstly, YOU are the person who decides who you are, so whatever label feels best (or none at all) is totally fine, even if it doesn't match someone else's definition. However, for me, I think it helped to think of sexual attraction as different than romantic attraction.

For example, perhaps you can find yourself sexually attracted to someone regardless of their gender. BUT, romantically, you prefer girls? To me, that would still be pan, but perhaps you are homoromantic (meaning you only enjoy romantic relationships with the same gender).

Or it could be that you could possibly see yourself both sexually attracted to someone regardless of gender and having a romantic relationship with someone regardless of gender- you just are more likely to want those things with girls. That's okay, too, and could still be considered pan! It's okay to have preferences!

To make this more simplistic, if we stick to a gender binary (which we shouldn't, obviously, but let's do it for a second for simplicity's sake)- a traditionally bisexual person is rarely attracted to boys and girls at a 50/50 split. Maybe they like girls 70 percent of the time and boys 30 percent of the time. That doesn't make them any less bisexual. So, the same holds true with pan. Maybe you mostly see yourself with girls, but also think boys are pretty cool, and nonbinary people are sometimes attractive, and agender people can sometimes be cute, etc, etc.

All of this to say, pick whatever label feels good to you (or none at all! I also frequently just say to people that I'm queer.)

As far as coming out, I think some people are under the impression that it has to be a big thing. It only has to be a big thing if you want it to be. It seems like your friends already know that you're not straight. If that's all you want to say, you don't owe them any more of an explanation or a label.

BUT if you want to come out, go ahead! Sounds like they'll be supportive, so remind yourself that they are safe for you and bring it up in a more intentional way. "Hey, I have a crush on this girl, what do you think?" or "Hey, so you know I'm not straight, right? It's cool that we all are so accepting of that stuff." I think you'll find your friends will be receptive, since they're not straight, either.

As far as your parents, that's trickier. It sounds like you still live with them, so coming out to possibly unaccepting people who have control over you can be sticky. If it were me, I would first do a bit of testing. Mention queerness in a hypothetical way or in a "I know someone who..." way. See how they react. If they react positively, you could start dropping hints. If they react negatively, consider the pros and cons to telling them. Is it worth it to come out because you would be sharing your authentic self? If yes, have a plan if things go poorly. Have a support system to talk to and to go to. If you find that it's not worth it, there's no shame in that, either.

But it's important to know you are NOT complaining over nothing. This is tough stuff and it's hard to navigate.

I'm here to talk if you need me! <3

[epickiya722]

Idk if anyone feels the same, but as a bkdk shipper i don't really headcanon them as having a specific label like gay/bi as to say why they would feel attracted to each other. Bc i guess being in love/loving someone the way i see that bkdk do is different from finding someone attractive.

This is why when i see antis say stuff like "How can you say that Dk doesn't like Uraraka" and then show a clip of him being flustered/or some proof that he thinks Uraraka is attractive, i'm like yeah? So what? Why would that disprove bkdk? Uraraka is a super cute bubbly girl and Izuku is a shy little guy that hasn't really been interacting with any girls in a hot minute, ofc he's flustered lol

I'm not saying that these hcs are not valid it's just a personal thing i think abt sometimes sjebwjk

Honestly, when it comes to sexualities, I don't particularly think about them a lot, or label characters.

Not that I don't want to or hate the idea. It's just sometimes when people headcanon a character any sexuality when their sexuality isn't specified in canon, there's always those few people who act as of it's evil and go "no, this character is straight, you're wrong".

It's a headcanon??? Chill out. That person isn't looking for some debate with you, they're just engaging in the media they enjoy.

With that said, it is annoying that some antis will say things like "How can you say Midoriya doesn't like Uraraka" as if to say "How can you say Midoriya isn't straight" and disprove BakuDeku.

For one, why? What's the point? If antis hate the ship, alright. Who in the hell cares? They don't have to "prove" why you hate it.

There are some ships I hate, but I don't waste my time saying why because exactly what do I need to prove? I don't like it, simple as that.

Why do I need to prove AN OPINION? A PREFERENCE?

Second, kinda suspicious to insist Midoriya finds attraction to Uraraka to disprove a M/M ship.

They go so hard to prove that Midoriya is straight, but here's a couple of things.

He could still have an attraction to girls. No one said he couldn't. Hell, some BkDks headcanon him as bi.

Another thing, being flustered around the opposite sex doesn't always mean attraction. I said this in my post about Uraraka. Being flustered is a natural human reaction. You don't have to be attracted to someone to get fidgety. Being nervous is a thing. I did it around boys that I didn't like at all. I was nervous, I like my space, sometimes I didn't expect it.

It was very clear that Midoriya barely had interactions with anyone, especially girls in his first meet with Uraraka. Of course, he's gonna blush around her. He does it with every girl he has came in contact with, Uraraka ain't the only one. If she was, Midoriya wouldn't react the same with Hatsume, Nejire, Fake!Camie, Toga, Melissa...

But of course, the other girls aren't brought up in their "arguments" because it's a matter of ship competition and the sense of wanting to be an asshole.

Like is it so wrong for him to have an attraction to boys and girls? Hm? Why does him having attraction to both genders a problem? 🤨

[matoitech]

if im thinking abt stuff like 'preference' w bisexuality and how that can come off to other ppl particularly someplace like online where its kind of a viewable catalogue of at least some aspect of urself or what ur interested in, at the end of the day i think there’s just a lot more stuff catering to me as a man who fucks men regardless of the specifics of whether the dude interacting w or making it is gay or bi that it’s just easier to indulge that aspect of myself (also, my being in a relationship w another man) vs my attraction to women which can just be a lot harder to find things that feel like they actually interest me or resonate with me bcuz i’m a bisexual man and my relationships with women aren’t rly typically the dynamic or experience of two straight people in a relationship or their sexual dynamics. not like i Cant resonate w things intended to be made that way ofc just its typically harder for bi ppl to find things we like. thisis like a well known and discussed thing in bi community spaces

like i don’t personally relate to the ‘my dif gender attraction is still gay’ bi jokes bcuz im not nonbinary and i don’t have a ‘weird gender’ in any way im just male so my attraction to and relationships w women is just as a man, but me being a BISEXUAL man specifically DOES impact and alter that in a way. it’s not inherently better or worse than how a straight man may like women it’s just different. if there was as much bisexual m/f in media or whatever as weird biphobes online pretend there is then my experiences would be more represented (gotta make it ourselves)

bi men also tend to be aware of how our attraction towards women As men is read and viewed and treated both in general and in lgbt spaces, which a lot of the time dont look very kindly on any of our attraction anyway (‘predatory cheating bi man whose probably gonna give u stds’) so that’s also a factor in us maybe coming off like we prefer men in lgbt spaces when we don’t actually have a preference or any interest in discussing our 'types' w strangers online. shrugs

[cruelsister-moved2]

you said you weren't gonna elaborate but ifyou have time could you on that point that most cis women will only give their genitals as what ties them to womanhood. not sure I understand the implication bc in my experience that's true and I've also wrestled with the same idea a lot bc of being in that space between cis and nonbinary where it's like well I don't feel like what society says a woman is but to pretend that all cis women do is misogynistic. jw your thoughts because i think abt it a lot

yeah I think about it too... obligatory The Quote:

anyway yeah I just I don't know how to say this without coming off dismissive to people who find other frameworks useful to understanding their existence but there really is only how you want to live in reality and what gets me is the... assuming people who don't use certain labels dont have the same interior complexity as you(ie the pansexual effect). no one can ever see your internal Experience of Gender and you can never see anyone else's so it feels like there might actually be an upper limit to how useful it is to engage with. idk maybe I'm just too autistic for all this stuff but I feel like on the internal level you, to yourself, are just you. gender is literally a relational framework that we use to categorise OTHER people so we are all going to feel some amount of awkwardness about the attempt to apply it to ourselves internally. I think some people, upon discovering this, are a little too hasty to assume everyone else (esp cis women) has an easy time doing that. So i guess THAT'S what i mean, like a lot of people are just straight up NOT doing that and just not considering themselves as having a say and therefore not thinking about it. which isn't to say that they don't have complex feelings about themselves as individuals in a gendered society, or even that they might not hypothetically feel equal or better about existing in the opposite category, if they were able to consider that for themselves.

Like im femme4butch I'm obviously a big enjoyer of fun with gender performance but I do feel like ultimately your options are like "I'm expected to be in group A but group B feels at least somewhat less terrible to me" or "neither group A nor group B feels at all comfortable for me" or "existing sometimes in group A and sometimes in group B depending on the context is preferable to me" etc. and each of those encompasses a host of internal experiences of gender but it just skips feeling like that is something fundamental that we automatically owe each-other and require to understand each-other and decides that actually in terms of interactions with other humans our efforts are best placed in facilitating others moving through the world in a way that's most frictionless for them. and internally within the LGBT community who even cares because its only recently that cis gay people have even had a category resembling cisness open to them bc previously manhood and womanhood were so inherently contingent upon heterosexuality (spoiler: they still are it's just you can at least theory cut out the gender of attraction and replace it). i think this is why people are increasingly identifying with terms like transsexual again because it DOES feel relevant to their identity that much of their lived experience is organised around moving through the world as other than their cagab. ithink once you acknowledge that gender isn't defined for you (either by your genitals or like your Male Brain or Female Soul or whatever) then it kind of turns the concept of what even is gender into soggy cardboard anyway, and trying to articulate the specific qualities of ur handful of soggy cardboard is largely pointless in comparison to what container youre going to put it in. and if that begs the question of why we're putting soggy cardboard into all these different containers anyway, well then there you go

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

So like I want to clarify something I learned from older lgbt folks when I was younger because while I’m still working out my identity I’m definitely not straight.

When I was little I learned the pansexual and bisexual were very similar. Bisexuals can be attracted regardless of gender or it can be 2 or more genders- ie attracted only to men(all men bc obviously trans men are men and parts are not your gender) and non-binary folks but not women(all women bc transwomen are women and parts obviously don’t determine gender). Perhaps there’s also a notable preference of where you find yourself more attracted.

However I learned pansexual as similar but gender is not a factor in attraction and/or there isn’t a physical preference for attraction even if there might be a mental one. Like if they don’t want to date men but are still attracted to them.

I also was told these are blurry guidelines but as long as you are not using the terms to be transphobic you are good. They also said pansexual can be a spot to put yourself when you are questioning rather than calling yourself other labels if it feels like a big decision. And lastly that it’s okay that these terms overlap because the reality is the understanding of orientation and gender is constantly changing. these terms were both created in transphobic times that all people have internalized to different degrees we have a bias. If we dig into somethings we can often find a way to make them more complicated and the boundaries between everything becomes more blurry.

So this is my question to you. Does bi mean everything here. Does it mean a gender identity preferences or not? If so- is that preference conscious/choice or instinctive/uncontrolled attraction? What if your conscious and instinctive don’t match- like you are attracted to all but you don’t want to be or you are mentally only attracted to some? So to this point - Does bi always mean +2 or more genders? Or Does it always mean all genders? I feel like distinguishing that is important.

If you have questions abt how I phrase things let me know! I’m still exploring my orientation and gender identity and I want to learn more. I know you are anti pan but I don’t actually know what bi is exactly and I feel like if all those things are bi it just is so broad from the get go that maybe another term might be helpful for some people to clarify or feel more seen under as a sublabel. That or I might constantly have to explain what I mean by bi. If it doesn’t what are the other terms that mean things. Like cause what if I am not attracted to anyone who has a gender identity as a man. I don’t know yet. There was another thing but I forgot it as I was writing this. If I remember I’ll add it but thank you for your time and I hope you are doing well. I am just trying to understand things and make sure I have the right info.

"Bisexuals can be attracted regardless of gender or it can be 2 or more genders- ie attracted only to men(all men bc obviously trans men are men and parts are not your gender) and non-binary folks but not women"

First of all I'd like to say I 100% disagree with how this is characterised. Like I said before, you cannot be attracted to just nb people because you cannot tell when a person is nb unless they've got like a pronoun pin or something. If you're just attracted to men and like man adjacent nb people then you're either straight or gay, depending on if you yourself are a woman or a man.

"Does bi mean everything here. Does it mean a gender identity preferences or not? If so- is that preference conscious/choice or instinctive/uncontrolled attraction? What if your conscious and instinctive don’t match- like you are attracted to all but you don’t want to be or you are mentally only attracted to some? So to this point - Does bi always mean +2 or more genders? Or Does it always mean all genders?"

Yes, bi does mean everything. The 'bi' prefix denotes hetero and homo attraction, as in genders unlike and like your own, 2 types of attraction that encompass everyone.

Preferences play no role in defining your sexuality. It's fine to be bi and have a preference, it's also fine to not have a preference. I am bisexual, and I have a preference for men. One of my friends is bisexual, and they have no preference at all. Both of us are still bi. Preferences aren't really a conscious thing though, because attraction isn't a conscious thing. You are just attracted to who you are attracted to, and you cannot control it. You can still choose to only date certain people of course, but you cannot actually control who you are and aren't attracted to.

If you are attracted to all but don't want to be then you've probably got personal problems you need to work through before you'll be able to really come to terms with yourself. You cannot control your attraction, no matter what you want or what you think.

Bisexuality always means regardless of gender, but that doesn't mean that you are obligated to date people of every gender. You can still be as picky as you want to be with partners as a bisexual. The only requirement for being bisexual is the ability to be attracted to a person of any gender.

I hope this has been helpful. Please don't rush trying to figure yourself out, there is plenty of time to question and learn. Feel free to send more asks, or ask for clarification if I was unclear about something. Have a nice evening.

[ts4ritsa]

✧ rules & info page …

this page contains everything you need to know about what I’ll write here — my boundaries, the types of fanfiction, etc. pretty much all you have to read before requesting are the checkmarks and cross-offs. please at least SKIM before requesting!

checkmarks ┆彡

- I can write oneshots, headcanons, imagines, drabbles, thirsts, fluff and smut alphabets, and sometimes matchups

- I only write for female readers, male readers, and gender neutral readers

- I can do smut, fluff, angst, and hurt/comfort

- as far as smut goes, I am able to make the reader gender neutral if wanted but I go with fem + afab readers normally since I don’t have a good grasp of male perspectives because I am not one. however, this may change in the future as I do want to look into it one day

- I accept pretty much all kinds of personality type requests, for example you can ask for readers with a similar personality type as another character (ex: character x fem!reader with a personality like hu tao from genshin impact)

- I can write jealousy headcanons and scenarios

- I can write characters being lovesick, like completely smitten and infatuated with you; this can be part of jealousy headcanons if asked to be. I can also write characters being lovesick for smut purposes, like where they’re yearning and lusting over you in secret like little pervs or they’re just immensely obsessed with the feeling of you and crave more of it

- I can write for polyamorous relationships, for up to 3 characters at a time — but please specify because I write separately as a default

- I am alright with also writing wlw and mlm

- more about thirsts, — they are small requests asking for thoughts on a character having a certain kink — they wont be properly formatted like my other posts. if you want to submit something like this you gotta phrase it like “I’m thinking abt (character) with a __ kink, thoughts?”

- I can do basically any trope — like friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, faking dating turned real, forced proximity, forbidden love, opposites attract, unrequited love, etc.

cross-offs ┆彡

(content warning for disturbing topics!)

- no underage sex! character has to be 18 or older— also, I do not age up characters

- no romanticization of problematic or disturbing topics! such as abuse, sh, sa, disorders, non-con, discrimination, incest, pedophilia etc.

- no kinks or fetishes I am uncomfortable with! like piss, feet, scat, necrophillia, vore, gore, period play, snuff, bestiality, age regression

- no dark content in general!

- no pregnancy topics! such as reaction to being pregnant, giving birth, dealing with pregnancy (but I am fine with writing breeding kinks)

- no specific body types, ethnicities, or races! I want my content to be more inclusive, and I feel as these types of details would not matter or affect the relationships of any character I write for

- no platonic character x readers! I personally find it boring. this basically means all my works are to be seen in a romantic way

- no characters or fandoms that are not on my list! I don’t forget to put characters, so if you don’t see the character you want me to write for, I simply don’t write for them. please don’t ask me to or want to know why

- no OCs! like I said before, I want my content to be more inclusive and I prefer to just be asked if I can give the reader specific personality traits or important details so this is easier for the both of us. HOWEVER, this is an exception with matchup requests

- no yanderes! I’m not that comfortable or familiar enough with that archetype to write characters in that way. also I don’t want to romanticize violent behaviors nor do I like writing gore. like I’ve said before though, I can write characters being lovesick. and yes, there is a difference

- no AUs or crossovers! like yanderes, they’re just not exactly my cup of tea

please do not ask me to do or write any of these things for you. I will automatically ignore any requests that do so

regarding fandoms ┆彡

- I don’t know if I should put danganronpa in the animes or games category… anyway, concerning v3 characters, I won’t write any smut for them since I don’t know their ages, they were technically referred to as teens in game, and I’m not about to waste my time getting into the middle of their age debates

- I am not caught up with the manga of oshi no ko. I have only watched the anime. I may read the manga but till I give the sign, please do not send in requests with any manga spoilers!

- I don’t really read much project sekai lore, I have played it for a long time but I don’t generally read the stories and just know summarized versions. however I do have an overall grasp and understanding of the characters so don’t worry about them being ooc ^^

- I know it’s ironic that I write for yandere simulator but don’t actually wanna write about yanderes… if you want to request ayano, I will only do subtle hints of her yandere behavior. also, I’m fine writing for the gender-bent rivals

extra info ┆彡

- this is not a requirement, but I’d really appreciate if you’d make your request as short, specific, and direct as possible; if it’s long because you are establishing the plot line then by all means go ahead. but please just summarize your request the best you can

- do not send me a bunch of requests at the same time. if you know what you want can all be put in one ask, then do that. otherwise it’s just piling up my inbox and inconveniencing me

- if there’s a lot of different requests you want to send, please send one of them at a time and wait for some time before sending me another so everyone has a chance of sending some too

- if you include random details about the reader make sure it has significance in your request if you also include a scenario or I won’t/can’t really mention it

- don’t ever take it personally if I were to ever turn down your request. you’ll know when I’ve done that when my requests inbox says “0/7” and your request was never posted

- if I ever accidentally make content that erases a characters canon sexuality, please let me know so I can fix it. however, please provide canon sources confirming such things

- this is a strictly ‘x readers’ blog! I don’t write for just ships

last updated 9/20/23

[mercenaryflower]

My Re-Introduction

 My name is Tiger, at least what I most like to be referred to as. I also like Merc, or in terms of “normal” names, Leo. I have been going by Lily for over a decade. (I’m 22 & I named myself on Flipnote Studios when I was 10 as it was my first online safe space) At the time, I wanted desperately to be seen as dainty, pretty, or even desirable, bc I had always been seen as ugly& fat. 4 years later I was introduced to the queer community by my first high school friend. I was sheltered, home-schooled on & off, made to go to church regularly, but they showed me a world where I finally felt I belonged. I followed them on Tumblr, as well as many other queer fandom people, learned abt gender identity, pronouns, the difference between sexuality & romantic orientation, even polyamory. (but I didn’t explore that outside my fantasies until I was an adult) I stumbled across the first term that fit my identity: bigender. It was easy to say I was simply both and I stayed that way for a couple years.

 Naturally, I grew, and I found I enjoyed being referred to as ‘he’ so I felt I identified more as a trans boy. I went all in, changed my preferred name to Leon, chopped off my hair as short as I was allowed, gradually getting it just below a pixie cut (with bangs) even bought a binder. not too long after, the pastor at my church decided to hold a very special sermon. all abt how being gay and the lgbt community was sinful, and that we shouldn't fall prey to the seduction of the devil. 🙄 I cried in a pew after service. I was part of the choir. he came over and asked me what was wrong, and I told him I was just fine, bc I knew I’d never have the guts to tell a self-righteous man like him. I lost all my faith in the church that day, I even got into Wicca through an ex-girlfriend, but I ended up being a non-religious pagan.

 It was rough after that. transitioning & finding love were my two pillars keeping me alive. I was taken advantage of by a long-time crush, my high school said I’d be better off in the military, so I dropped out. I came out to my mom & sister in a fit of rage. for a while it seemed they would support me, but the subject fell silent like it had never been brought up at all & I was cornered into an expectation to be perfect, pretending to be cis, straight, & christian. all I had was my online circles. I ended my 1st adult relationship, entering a new one without letting them know how I identified. it was a triad situation, an extremely toxic introduction to my poly life, but things gradually got better after that. I stayed with one of the partners in a monogamous way, we got married, had a couple of kids, but things were so off, pretending to be something I wasn’t.

 I was lucky, I really was. I’m still with them, my anchor partner & co-parent. I was the first to bring up poly after a year & a half, that I wanted it in a different way, dating as individuals, ethical non-monogamy, that was the easy part. even my attraction to women was easy to express, but I kept my identity locked tight. until my partner started exploring with their identity, eventually coming out to everyone. I supported them openly, and gave it a lot of time before bringing up at least a bit of my own identity, presenting as an extremely feminine non-binary she/they person, but it wasn’t enough. and I hadn’t gave myself room to think abt that until recently. I know my identity is pretty elaborate & nonsensical, but I’m feeling myself more just by thinking abt it. I’m fluid, both & neither, my gender identity is so much more complicated than a feminine enby, but I’m okay with that. I’m Tiger, I’m a long list of queer, & I go by all pronouns, but I especially love being referred to as he or they, a woman, boy, queen, king, prince, creature, witch, mage, goblin. 

It's not 'perfect' but it's me. more me than I've ever been & I'm willing to put in the effort now to keep in touch with who I am, even if it changes, I won't reject myself as I've been doing for years. I won't force myself to conform, especially in what's supposed to be my safe place. I want my kids to know me, I want my partnerships to be genuine, secure in my identity. I think I've finally figured out what loving myself entails, something that's stumped me my entire life, it finally feels real & obtainable. to love myself completely.

[reidsmissmatchedsocks]

sexuality headcanons for the bau!!

hotch - this man screams bisexual to me and i dont even know why. he just gives off the vibe. i feel like he has a preference for women but still very much loves men. emily was the first person he came out to (gideon had known but he found out on accident when hotch forgot to change the pronouns while talking abt an ex) since he knew he could trust her with that sort of thing after she came out to the team. shortly after haley died he decided he was tired of hiding this part of himself and came out to the rest of the bau, starting w rossi and then telling reid, morgan, garcia and jj at the same time. they were all very supportive and garcia gave him a little bi pride flag for his desk :)

emily - gayest bitch in the whole show. this woman takes wlw simping to a whole new level w the yearning shes been doing for jj for the last decade. she came out to the team very randomly while they were out at a bar. she slapped her hand on the table and said loudly, “id just like u all to know im a homosexual” and then walked out. everyone was kinda dumbfounded at first but obviously very supportive and happy she felt comfortable enough to tell them. she goes to pride every year and owns a lot of lesbian pride flags. morgan always laughs at her and teases her whenever he sees her obviously checking out someone and is happy he has someone to comfortably talk to abt girls. she gives the guys dating advice claiming shes “the master of dating women” even tho it took her over ten years to build up the courage to ask out jj. rossi finds this fact very funny

garcia - this woman is pan and u cannot tell me otherwise. fuck gender she loves everyone and is only interested in a persons amazing personality (since she prides herself on her ability to judge character) and how willing they are to flirt in public and how much they enjoy pda. garcia never really felt the need to come out assuming everyone just knew already but after emily came out she decided to keep a set of pride flags in her office and she has a pan flag on one of the walls plus an array of different pan themed things. one day rossi asked what the flag was for and she went in detail explaining different sexualities, flags and the significance. she finds the history super interesting and loves going to pride. she also wheres a little pan pride button on her shirts everyday because she thinks it looks nice :D

morgan - bisexual man. do i have to say any more? he never really came out but after seeing him flirt w enough guys while they were out everyone got the point. has a mini pride flag on his desk he got from garcia and a matching flag pin he wears on his shirts most days. he goes to pride w garcia and spencer every year

rossi - unlabled!! hes mostly had relationships w women but that doesnt mean exclusively. he likes men sometimes and has had relationships w them in the past but hes not quite sure which label fits him and thats okay!! hes never specifically stated his preference or sexuality to any of the others but they wouldnt be surprised if he got a bf, moreso surprised he got into a relationship at all

reid - biromantic demisexual!!! it took reid a long time to figure himself out, getting bullied a lot through school w various slurs thrown at him every day not helping. once he was in college he started to realize his attraction to both men and women and it scared him. he also felt like he was wrong for not wanting hookups or flings, he couldn’t understand the appeal. he pushed away a lot of his feelings, too scared of judgement from other people. that changed when he got to the bau tho, he had a family who loved and. supported him and he started to realize maybe it wasnt just him who felt this way. he ended up opening up to garcia after finding out shes pan and she lets him no they love him no matter what and theres nothing wrong w him. she helps him explore labels until he figures out which ones fit and gives him advice on coming out. he comes out to morgan first, hotch soon after, then emily, jj and rossi. they all are super supportive and loving ofc and reassure him that nothing can change their feelings towards him. theyre family.

jj - jj is bisexual!! she is obviously in love w emily but she also was in love w will for a long time. she never came out to the team officially but they all knew and she kept small bi pride things around her office. shes generally less of a gay mess than the rest of them but she definitely has her moments. she goes to pride every couple years w emily and sometimes hotch if they can convince him to tag along. she figured it out at a young age and never rlly doubted her feelings, just being happy w herself. she loves herself and her identity

[quarkcore]

ok i have an incredibly lukewarm take on pan discourse and its that its unnecessarily painful to everyone i see involved and often based on presumption of universal definitions wrt labels which do not exist. like imagine person 1, is part of LGBT community A. where they are, most bi people do not include trans/nonbinary people in who they are attracted to (or at least not *all* trans/nonbinary people). instead, the label pan is typically used for that. so they realise that theyre actually pan. but then person 2 who is in lgbt community B, where bi is typically assumed to include attraction to all genders, sees this and is hurt bc it implies that bisexuality excludes certain groups. both of these ppl are using those labels in a way that makes sense. in the place they are in, it communicates what needs to be communicated. 

it would be fucking great if bisexuality didnt ever mean “only attracted to cis ppl”, but i KNOW that in some places, most ppl would not consider dating trans ppl and trans women especially. like i have heard it from the source. and even if its shit that that situation even exists, it makes sense that ppl would make words to make who theyre attracted to super clear. now theres a whole series of convos u can have abt that and the impact it can have. but its going to happen until attraction to trans people (and not just as a fetish!) is mainstream. i promise you that. the other side of that is that of course, a lot of pan ppl will make generalising statements based upon their own experience of what bi and pan have meant, which may not apply elsewhere/to other ppl. and thats deeply hurtful to say the least, esp when bi ppl as a community are so often misunderstood and stereotyped.

but i think the only way to resolve this rn is to stop presuming that what bi or pan means to you is what it must mean everywhere. once we do that we can stop trying to insist that being part of a certain group means you hold certain values etc, and instead we can focus on the important matters at hand: fighting for the rights of lgbt ppl and esp in this case trans ppl and everyone whos attracted to multiple genders. we can ask ppl to think abt what it means to be attracted to a certain gender. we can ask what preconceptions ppl have abt what a trans person looks like, what a trans person acts like, and what a relationship with a trans person would look like. we can talk abt the idea that ‘trans woman’ and ‘cis woman’ (for example) are different genders and its implications, both in terms of relationships, and in terms of the way trans ppl are treated in society more generally. bc i think that those are the questions that sit at the heart of the whole pan discourse thing and they get left unaddressed bc we get caught up on labels instead.

also leaving that aside like... i think theres legitimate things that pan might mean outside of bi (clearly including trans ppl). like it can mean sexuality without gender preference, as opposed to bi, which can mean attraction to multiple genders, with a preference. it can mean more generally that things like gender and gender presentation dont affect the way you feel attraction. and a lot of this is splitting hairs i know but like if ppl find meaning in those things, they will use the label. and if they dont, theyll stop and itll fizzle out. clearly the label pan is doing something important for a lot of ppl and communicating something bi does not for them.

(disclaimer: i identify as neither bi nor pan and therefore actually dont have a horse in this race and may be talking out of my ass. thats for u to decide. also like im not overly attached to this viewpoint its just what im settled on rn after having seen this whole argument play out like 20 times over.)

[dead-birds-art]

hey i just saw ur post abt the hades dating sim/fangame n wanted to add smth! it’s been a while since i read the artemis/orion stuff so idk if i’m totally right but i’m p sure that she was interested in him bc of his hunting/tracking skills & makes him the first male to join the hunters of artemis (her band of immortal “virgin” girls (virgin in quotes bc the actual definition of that changes depending on the source)), apollo gets jealous of their relationship & worried that artemis may give up her chastity and sends a scorpion after him or tricks artemis into killing him OR he ends up actually falling in love with/assaulting artemis or one of her maidens and she kills him as punishment.

that’s not even what the original point of this was meant to be lmao i was meant to say that i’m not sure there was a (reciprocated) romantic connection between artemis and orion, but there are stories that hint at one between artemis and callisto (one of her nymphs) so the most popular interpretations fr artemis are aromantic/asexual like u said or a lesbian! which i think could be interesting in a dating sim, maybe if the player-character was customisable artemis could be like athena and only be romanceable after having built up enough of a bond with a female player-character ?

sorry this is so long 😰 greek myth is a special interest of mine n i get carried away a lot dnddn

Oo, thanks for the info! Also don't even worry about it being long, I love it when people go off about their interests 😁

Honestly, kind of down for lesbian Artemis ngl, that'd be cool

And yeah that's a good idea, having Artemis only romantically available to one gender, and it made me think

A lot of games I've seen over the years that allow the player to romance the NPCs have this tendency to make everyone find the player romantically/s*xually attractive regardless of the player characters gender

Which is something I've always found weird and unrealistic tbh

I think it's a lot better and more inclusive to have all the characters s*xual/romantic preferences be different

Now the question is, what would the others be? I mean Zagreus is Bi of course but I wouldn't know what to do with the rest of them 🙃😅

Also thank you for this ask, I wasn't really expecting anyone to care much about my silly little idea, let alone offer info and make a suggestion for it 😄

[prudnces]

( 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒 & 𝚌𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 ) + you know 𝘗𝘙𝘜𝘋𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘌 𝘝𝘈𝘕 𝘏𝘖𝘓𝘛, the 25 year-old 𝘗𝘙𝘐𝘝𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘐𝘕𝘝𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘐𝘎𝘈𝘛𝘖𝘙 that has lived in eldstead 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕 𝘠𝘌𝘈𝘙𝘚? i heard she has a tendency to be 𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘖𝘜𝘙𝘊𝘌𝘍𝘜𝘓, 𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓, 𝘋𝘐𝘚𝘖𝘉𝘌𝘋𝘐𝘌𝘕𝘛 & 𝘚𝘜𝘙𝘓𝘠. the 𝘛𝘈𝘜𝘙𝘜𝘚 has equipped 𝘒𝘌𝘠 in time for the full moon.

HI i’m hero, 22, i lov horror movies and no longer have a shudder subscription :pensive: normally i do these on google docs but i’m lazy and prue is Incredibly New so i’m still trying to get the hang of things

name: prudence van holt  nicknames: prue, p age: 25 gender: cis woman pronouns: she/her d.o.b.: april 23, 1995 zodiac: taurus sexual orientation: homosexual homoromantic mbti: isfj - the protector character inspo: wynonna earp, veronica mars, prudence halliwell (mayb i took the name don’t look @ me) aesthetics: a steaming mug of black coffee, deep green woollen sweaters, golden rings and necklaces adorning her, a camera hanging around her neck, the mist of the morning, a deer grazing in the forest, the heavy thud of boots against old hardwood, a grandfather clock striking the witching hour

HISTORY

triggers: child abandonment, car accident (drunk driving), death

prudence van holt’s birth is a mystery-- all she knows is she was dropped off at the fire station in a town outside of seattle, the only identification a baby blanket with her name on it. 

she ends up being adopted by a couple, the van holts, who always wanted multiple kids but could not after their first, a boy. 

growing up, she’s always been a little shit. she doesn’t mean to be. she just has an insatiable curiosity, sticking her nose in other’s businesses, finding lost things, she had a strange knack for it. it got her into a lot of trouble, children had no business sticking their nose into adults’ things. 

her brother never really liked her-- he always resented the fact their parents brought her home, took her in, when they already had a perfectly fine child needing attention. petty things, except it’s sparked a life long sibling rivalry that runs deep. 

it’s a pretty uneventful childhood, her parents are good people, they provide for her, and support her, despite her troublesome antics. 

she’s always been a lonely child, she’s never had the easiest time making friends, so she’s spent a lot of her time exploring the woods near her home. 

she’s thirteen when she discovers her mother, whom she always has written off as simply eccentric, is more than that-- she’s a witch. and a good one, too. her book club meetings she’s often privvy to walking through is more than that, it’s her coven. 

so of course, prue wants in-- how can she not? it’s a whole new world, working under her mother’s wing, driving a wedge further between herself and her brother. she tells her to be careful, to watch her back, that there’s bad people who want to do bad things with the power they wield. it instills a deeper ideal of trust no one in prudence-- one that sticks with her to this day.

and she’s dedicated to the craft! she takes time to learn the different meanings and uses of herbs, flowers, etc., makes potions, cast spells-- perhaps sometimes for personal gain, but she’s dedicated herself to using them to help others. 

she sort of becomes a private investigator in high school, not on purpose, but a friend tasks her to find out if her boyfriend is cheating on her, so tails him, catches him in the act-- gives him a little hex for good measure. 

it becomes a thing, people need something found? they go to her. think their partner is fooling around? they go to her. and she delivers, all with a little touch of magic. eventually, she wants to go deeper, take on more serious cases, but alas she’s only a teenager. 

sike! that doesn’t stop her. and as much as she hates cops, she has an in at the department through her father, so soon she’s not so legally trying to solve murders. 

and that’s all fine and dandy, until just a month shy of her eighteenth birthday, and two months before she graduates from high school, her parents get into a car accident coming home from a meeting one night. a drunk driver swerves into their side of the road, hitting them head on. neither survive. 

it’s that that has her change her mind about college, why go to college when she already knows what she wants to do? life is fleeting, and she’s hurting, so she graduates, and moves to eldstead, a town an hour and half away from her own home. it’s not a big change, but enough for her to have a fresh start. 

she knows something is different about the storm when it hits, that it brought about something... destructive. and she’s inclined to get to the bottom of all of it. it’s in her nature-- she has to snoop. 

she runs her own private investigation that used to serve eldstead and the surrounding area, but now it’s simply eldstead. she makes her own hours, and works alone, because she prefers it that way. 

PERSONALITY 

she’s really closed off-- she prefers to be alone, because of the shit she’s seen, and the people in her life, she just expects to be let down. 

when you first meet her, there’s a chance she’s just going to brush you off. she’s not exactly the friendliest person out there? 

will she be an asshole for the sake of being an asshole? no. absolutely not. but she is unflinchingly honest about her observations, and that doesn’t always go over well. 

very much a ‘do the thing first, ask for forgiveness later type of person’-- doesn’t have a lot of regard for rules that aren’t her own. (*dw voice* that sign can’t stop me bc i can’t read!)

if u do manage to be friends with her, she’s got ur mf back she’s unflinchingly loyal and if you break her trust, you’re pretty much dead to her lol 

TIDBITS 

she has a black cat (wow a witch with a black cat...... groundbreaking) named inkblot (creative, rly), nicknamed inky like the pacman ghost

surprisingly high alcohol tolerance, loves 2 go for a beer or a whiskey at the end of a long day 

lives in cableknit sweaters-- this is the pnw i mean a bitch be cold 

doesn’t really date? she came out when she was 16, and there’s been a couple relationships, but they never really pan out-- it’s always because of her. she doesn’t know how to open up 

swears a lot 

has a pretty good understanding of basic hand to hand combat just in case perps get a little rowdy, took boxing classes for abt 4 years? 

probably an elderly person when it comes to social media, kinda likes to keep a low profile but she also posts a shit ton of pictures of her cat 

INCREDIBLY good at finding lost things-- keys, phones, dogs, u name it she just knows-- and she doesnt know if its the intuition that comes from being a witch or just herself 

prob should join a coven, but shes a lone wolf awoo

prob barks at men idk 

lives off of black coffee, doesn’t rly sleep 

has multiple ear piercings and a couple tattoos but she usually keeps them hidden 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

informant - she gets information from them for her cases, they got a p good grasp 

someone she’s solved a case for - p self explanatory, now they’re friendly enough, or perhaps she couldn’t stand them and did it for the money 

someone who wants to be her friend but she’s weary - tbh shes weary of everybody 

coven adjacent - another witch, maybe theyre trying to get her to band together with them 

drinking buddy - they meet at the bar and shoot the shit 

opposites attract - friend who is nothing like them! but still hangs around! 

someone she feels like she has 2 protect - for whatever reason, even tho they can prob take care of themselves, prue is super fkn protective of them 

a genuine friend - yeah she just needs one idk she’s doing her best 

ex (f/nb) - someone she dated for a little bit but they broke up because of prue’s inability to open tf up 

fwb (f/nb) - ? maybe we all got needs, and she’s not looking for a relationship

attraction (f/nb) - there���s tension and neither know why! 

rival - to paraphrase a tumblr post what is a rival if not a crush you’re unhappy abt 

pure of heart, dumb of ass and lesbian - i just love this trope 

sibling like - someone who she genuinely sees as a younger/older sibling... goes to them for shit... protects them

frenemies - theyre not rly friends but they dont entirely hate each other either? 

tbh anything 

[gray-warden]

can u explain how butches and femmes are counterparts and not opposites? or how femmes arent like lipstick lesbians? im not trying to be argumentative im just a very confused gay girl who Wants to Understand

First of all, sorry for taking like 50 years to answer your ask! I hope you still see the answer, though femmes and butches come from the same piece of history, where they were two sides of the same coin, a sort of “ying and yang”, if you’ll forgive the cliché. it’s more of an attraction to something that’s different but also the same in some ways, someone who might balance you out in a way in their differences but still gets where you’re coming from. it’s not uncommon for femmes to have previously thought they were butches because they felt a connection to the butch/femme history and dynamic but also felt alienated from womanhood due to their lesbianism. plus, two things being seen as opposites kinda often implies that there’s something in between those things, which isn’t the case here. butch/femme isn’t a “lesbian gender binary”, and the whole “futch scale” thing isn’t how it works, it was sort of a joke that got out of hand and led to many people misunderstanding identities that are important to many people. a stone butch isn’t just a super masculine and tough butch. “soft butch” meaning “butch who isn’t super muscular and who is sensitive” ignores that those things don’t make any butch less butch in the first place.femme is just an older identity and it just kinda goes hand-in-hand with butch because they have shared origins, and originally, in the past, the typical dynamic was a butch and a femme being together or seeking each other. it’s about complementing each other by having differences that work with each other, rather than differences that clash, and by having similarities that bring deeper understanding. of course stuff has changed, butches can date other butches ofc (there’s not really a different term for “gnc lesbian who exclusively or mostly seeks other gnc women”, and butchness, while it is a specific identity and a sort of “role”, is very associated with a specific kind of appearance. plus, many butches hear some dumbass shit about butchness even among wlw, so some of us might seek other butches so we finally feel understood. or just because they find other butches hot, which, in my opinion, is very understandable lol).also, a femme doesn’t necessarily have to always be super typically feminine, there’s an association with an older type of identity or role, so many femmes these days might incorporate a few things that could be considered gender nonconforming, like not shaving, not wearing makeup, having super short hair or buying some clothing articles from the men’s section (usually not all at once i guess? idk, i’m just giving a few examples). some might not use “she/her” and might not really see themselves as part of womanhood.or they might be very traditionally feminine, as many are.of course there are lesbians who might do any of those things but aren’t femmes, but that’d be because they just aren’t drawn to the identity, don’t long for a certain type of dynamic in their life, don’t feel connected to that part of history. most lesbians just aren’t butches or femmes. it’s not a bad thing, or a deep thing, most lesbians just aren’t! it’s a subculture, and that’s for a reason.but basically, butches and femmes just have more in common than we have differences. they’re complementary identities.originally, in specific contexts where those terms came up, butches and femmes were just seen as the possible different “types” of lesbians who seeked each other for relationships, sex, companionship, understanding, etc. it was originally a thing that came from lesbian bars, frequented by working-class women. so many butches and femmes worked in the same types of places (factories, often), so they still lived in the same type of context (though many femmes were sex workers, and that’s also an important thing to know, i don’t wanna seem like i’m ignoring it, but i’m not going deep into it bc in that case what they shared was still that they were also working class). of course many butches and femmes now aren’t working class, but those are the origins of those identities, and we should never forget who came before us.of course there are lots of differences between how lesbian working class bars were a few decades ago and how butch/femme is as a subculture now. the current subculture largely relies on writings from people who were always butches and always femmes back in the day, rather than those who sort of had to make themselves fit into one of those things because that was the expectation in those bars but otherwise didn’t feel connected to a certain identity or role outside of the specific context of the bars and relationships. so the modern butch/femme thing is, first of all, a subculture, because we don’t want people who don’t really connect to being a butch or a femme to feel like they have to fit in there, because if you don’t then you just don’t and there’s obviously nothing wrong with that, that’s why it’s a subculture, most lesbians just aren’t part of it, the same way most people aren’t parts of other subcultures. and since it’s so very based on the historic records left by people who were always butches and always femmes, regardless of where they were, who they were with, etc, it’s also about a constant identity now, rather than being someone who calls themselves a butch in a context where it’s about women seeking women but otherwise doesn’t really feel a connection to the identity in my experience, many femmes get annoyed at women who say they’re femme4femme bc they say that that’s why the term “lipstick lesbian” exists in the first place, as most women who call themselves “femme4femme” usually just mean “feminine woman seeking feminine woman”, using “femme” to just mean “feminine”. so that’s why there’s often an annoyance there.i’m not saying that a femme has to /exclusively/ be into gnc women to be a femme. just that being a femme and being a feminine lesbian don’t mean the same thing, and generally, femmes in the current butch/femme subculture often have at least a preference for butches, due to a desire for a specific kind of dynamic in relationships and anything surrounding that. there’s just a specific kind of historical connection and a sort of role connected to butchness and femmeness. it’s a subculture that’s more than just about what you look like and what the people you’re into look like. “butch” gets tied to a certain kind of appearance a lot more than femme does, as it’s a kind of appearance that stands out on its own, without the person saying anything about their identity, so many femmes rely on that connection to a specific part of history and certain desires and dynamics and roles a lot when it comes to their identity as femmes.lipstick lesbian is a term that sometimes just refers to very feminine lesbians, but very often specifically to feminine lesbians who exclusively or at least mostly seek other feminine lesbians. and to my knowledge there’s not any kind of deeper connection to any older identity or culture there, it’s like “masc4masc” or something like that, it’s just a description of your personal kind of aesthetic and the kind of aesthetic you find desirable (i’m not trying to imply there’s anything wrong with that, of course! just that it’s not the same as being a femme, but of course two things not being the same doesn’t automatically mean one is better than the other, which is something i want to make clear throughout this whole huge answer to your ask).idk, i’m no expert or anything, and i’m also just not great at explaining things, i tend to ramble a bit and i sometimes express myself in a way that was clear enough for other people, and sometimes i end up talking a lot. also, there just isn’t much butch/femme history where i’m from, at least not any /recorded/ history, there aren’t always words that describe the exact same things (of course there are people like me and people who are like many femmes, though, we’ve always existed, but there’s not really much of a butch/femme type of community thing because our history and words are different, and there’s generally fairly little LGBT or specifically wlw or lesbian history recorded), so this is about what i know of butch/femme culture in the US and online (since the latter relies on the former).there are a lot of people out there who talk abt butch/femme a lot, people who have read and watched and experienced more stuff connected to that, so you could ask people like that if you need more information (you can ask me, of course, i’m just saying they’ll know more), esp when it comes to femmes, since i don’t have their specific perspective on differences between femmes vs feminine lesbians who aren’t femmes, or on the femme4femme thing, which means i’m only talking based on my understanding of what they say, rather than from personal experience as a femme, just because i’m not one. (part of the reason why it took me a while was bc i asked some people i know, one butch and one femme, both have more knowledge about this stuff than me, esp the latter, to see if there were any inaccuracies they could see or something i didnt express well)