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#and i know its bullshit but it still makes me feel bad about how much i weigh and how much i eat even though both are completely normal
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I've been in my feelings about Jo and Aoki's last interactions for a bit...
Because that whole scene is textbook verbal abuse, right... Aoki is very clearly trying to tear Jo's self-esteem and bolster his own, establish control, all that, and Jo just has to stand there meekly and take it. All because Jo's disobeyed one too many times and Aoki needs someone he knows he can control to head the Tokyo Omi Alliance.
Like Jo says he's never disobeyed Aoki except in that one instance, but not handling things himself at Otohime Land was very much his way of giving Ichi an out indirectly, and I feel like Aoki was beginning to catch on based on his comments about Jo neglecting the situation and acting strangely. Directly refusing his orders just confirmed his suspicions.
It's kind of lost among all the bombshells dropped in Chapter 13, but Jo's hesitance to kill anyone who's important to Arakawa is a big deal to me. It's not like he had any personal ties to Hoshino or any investment in maintaining the balance of the Ijin Three whatsoever; he went to those lengths to set himself up to be stopped because Arakawa wouldn't want Hoshino to die and that was it.
To return to the scene, I think it's also a great demonstration of Aoki's "those who use and those who get used" mentality. This next thing is... pretty badly mistranslated, at least in the subs, so it was lost on me for a while. But before the Lost Puppy line, the specific way Aoki chooses to downplay Jo's merit is by telling him he only got to his position because everyone was so sensitive to his (Aoki's) feelings and could tell he favored Jo, following him around like a lost puppy being precisely why Aoki favored him.
I don't think that was all there was to it, of course. Dude was five and deliberately brings Jo wherever he goes to this day by choice. It's kind of like those guys who get rejected once and start going on tirades about how "she should've been grateful, she was ugly anyway." But that's what Aoki wants to portray--you only had it that good because of me, and I can take it away whenever I want. Whenever you're no longer of use. Anything to preserve his status as the user and Jo's as the used.
Jo's crossed the line at this point. He is no longer of use. He does kind of get into it so that takes the edge off my frustration with The English Language, but from this point onward, he believes Aoki sees him as a "bullet"--a hitman only sent on suicide missions. So despite everything he's done for him, despite being "the favorite," he knows full well Aoki's trying to kill him before Aoki even gives Ishioda the order. And... he accepts it.
So TO GO FROM THAT to having to reconcile in prison would've been so much powerful than what the ending was trying to do. Having to come to terms with the fact you killed one of the only people who saw you for who you were and truly cared about you, were going to kill the other two, and have abused all three from the moment you realized you had power over them. And for Jo, going through everything he went through because of Aoki and loving him without question anyway... Getting to express that in some small way... I need to lie down...
ALSO tattoo essay... later... maybe tomorrow... I mainly just feel like I sound extremely mean about rggtattoos' take😭😭😭but the show must go on
YEAH NO THAT'S IT ALL FAX NO PRINTER NO EXTRA NOTES NECESSARY
It'd be the fact that Aoki'd have no choice but to confront those decisions he made and those things he wanted to happen. he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence he had and totally turned his back on the people who- awfully ironically as he wanted- loved him for him
He'd already smoothed things over with Ichi, so- by his own hand- all that was left was Jo, the person he'd taken for granted the most next to Arakawa and who he planned to have executed alongside him. Jo's got every right to not forgive Aoki and to push him away, let each other rot in prison ignoring each other. So it's the worst feeling when Jo doesn't do that- its impossible for me not to imagine Jo wondering about what happened for Aoki to get so banged up if he's brought into prison the same night, and making sure Aoki's okay despite it.
Whereas Ichi was more upfront about his love and even frustrated about it ('frustrated' in that 'how could Aoki be so blind not to see how much care there is for him from us'), the breaking part about Jo is that he's forced himself to be so careful about showing his affection. Ichi's love was borderline irritating for how apparent it was: Jo's could have easily been written off or ignored.
All of that said, prison is where Aoki would be forced to realize that Jo does love him like Ichi said he does; there's no reason to keep up appearance or kiss up anymore- Aoki doesn't have any use to Jo anymore (if Aoki chose to interpret Jo's loyalties as a stepping stone to promote himself), and there's certainly no where else to run. It's probably that dawning moment that's gotta be so. Oh God What The Fuck. Like it's a sobering moment for him to go 'What have I been doing this whole time/what have I done to everyone', as corny as it sounds
#long post#just said 'no notes necessary' and here i go spouting bullshit again ☠️#in any case there goes my essay about the dynamic shown between jo and aoki 😩#but in all seriousness Yeah.... its shit i rotate in my head constantly about- esp where aoki starts to notice how 'strange' jo's acting#it fucks with me on immeasurable levels and i love examining it in my fuckin. awful little cave that's my brain#its just such a twisted set of circumstances that hurts that i enjoy it makes me want to throw up if i think of it for too long#their interactions are so minimal but i will tear into them and rip them apart. as much as i allow myself to anyway#ive gone on a gross nonsense ramble long enough though.. i blame all the dramas and movies i been watchin lately...#i need that bittersweet moment so bad and knowing itll never come makes me want to eat my tea pot and crunch the porcelain#ouugghhh... i have to finish these comms maybe then i can be delusional and scribble up such an ending#and feel free to take your time with that tattoo essay ! if you disagree with something then just say so#no point in beating around the bush- esp when ive mentioned it so much (which mustve been a pain to read 🙇‍♂️)#just gotta say your piece and carry on: peer review and discussion and all very valuable things#its why i try to not to say anythin if i can help it LMAO im far too baby brained to contribute anything sufficient or of value#big fan of reading though :) very much a sheep i am LMAO#ive thrown up verbiage enough though i still have these comms to finish 😭
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abc-mulan · 6 months
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Why are so many skinny girls so superior about the fact that they're so tiny? It's really fucking annoying
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insanechayne · 1 year
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~ ~ ~
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celibibratty · 2 years
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(sigh), yesterday was the day, the day that changed everything, the day I saw that damn story, whenever December 23th arrives I always think about that, i will talk about this day cuz i think It's important for me to talk about this💨, I even remember the clothes I was wearing that day, I was wearing a blue tank top with flowery purple short, it was 2019, I was in the bedroom and it was almost night, I was watching this ao3, checking to see if there was any new sean x daniel story, and I updated the page and with that a new fanfic appeared (which was this damn story), I looked at the tags and saw that the story was happening in blood brothers and there was something to do with rape/abuse, I thought "hmn, this must be just another story of Sean acting like a freak (and I also i used read all of the stories,so)", I put it on, the story had started with the first red flag, which it was the fact that the person put the homies from ep 3 (cough, cough cassidy) in it and made daniel being supeer okay with that 💢🔥, and i get super pissed because in the story the person put that daniel was jealous of finn stealing sean from him tho in the game daniel is jealous of sean WITH CASSIDY NOT WITH FINN!!!💢🔥(and in the story there was cassidy in the middle), i thought it was so stupid, but keep reading, well, then we got to the shocking part, I got to the part that is close when things...start happening, and I realized that daniel had some weird dialogues and a very strange way for being the victim, I just remember that I felt a pain in my stomach, a bad feeling and thought "wait!?, is daniel who going to do this to sean?, no, no, it can't be, it can't be that", then I went down and I got to the naughty parts, I realized it was really Daniel and I thought "yeah, it is", I was so shocked, so disgusted, it never crossed my mind to invent Daniel doing this to Sean, I never pictured Daniel that way (he was my bratty💧, the sassy pretty kid💧), i never thought of daniel like that with sean, i didn't imagine them like that even in redemption (even daniel being more masculine), imagine then in bb, never!, I got super anxious, I started to shake, my breathing was so labored, I couldn't even breathe, but my mind forced me to keep reading until I finished, because I thought that if I kept reading, if I endured it maybe it would hurt less...
(it's almost like I knew that from now on this version of their pair would be more frequent, so i should get used to it, a-and I didn't wanted to sound boring, or different, I don't understand why I thought that way, I don't care what others think, but at the time I remember that I didn't wanted to be different, i didn't wanted to be the only one), I felt like snow white in the scene with the trees, I had finished reading, totally devastated and a bit numb, I saw that there were some comments, I wanted to see even for maliciousness, i wanted to see if someone was complaining about this shit, but no, and to my surprise every single person that i knew that were the ones that "enjoyed" sean x daniel was praising it, i felt (sigh) so betrayed, the comments people saying things like "possessive daniel is so hot", " oh, daniel topping sean is such a concerpt that should be more explore" and I was like "no, what do you mean?, daniel is not like that, I thought you liked it them together because it was cute💧", I felt horrified, it was everyone, I remember throwing the phone on the bed in horror, then I got up and went to do my tasks to reflect a little, before I talk about this part I need to talk about another situation/fanfic that have a great influence on that day, but sometimes I forget about it (well, before this damn fanfic appeared, the most recent and famous story was a story that had a kinda of lolita vibe, that's what I call this story, the lolita story vibe, this fanfic was also one that had/has a kinda of heavy/nonsense vibe, but I had read it and thought it was okay, I even kinda of...liked it at the time💨, but then one day someone made a comment saying that they didn't like the story very much, because they thought sean didn't seem like sean, he was very pervert and that the story had a kind of strange vibe, very heavy, and the person didn't like it very much, I was so ashamed, I hadn't thought like that, I thought it was okay, I got like "yeah, y-you are right, this story is do weird💧💨"...
continuing, I remember cleaning the cats' potty and mentally saying "I hated this story, I thought it was disgusting, horrible, I want the person who invented it to suffer, I thought it was horrible" but then another voice appeared saying "no ana, don't say that, it's not cool to talk like that about other people's work, the person probably worked hard on it, the story was huge), but I thought "i don't care, I thought it was nasty, I hated it, that was horrible", and then the other voice said "oh, ana, but the lolita story was also horrible, and YOU liked it!, you don't have the right to complain, if you liked that one, now you'll have to like this one too" (it seemed like a dispute between my mind and my heart), I felt so bad, I wanted to take it away from me, but I couldn't open up to anyone, I was thinking about marina, what was I going to say to her?💧, I didn't wanted her to see these dolls like that, I didn't wanted that she sees them like that now too, I didn't wanted her to remain like me, I think it's horrible, but I swear I would give this story a kudo even though I hated it and it made me feel so sick, but it was because I thought that maybe giving a kudo I would feel less bad for having hated it, I finished doing what I had to do, I went to the bedroom and when I updated the page of this ao3 the story was gone, it gone in the same day(it seems like it only appeared to mess with my head cuz it gone right after it), the story had been deleted (and thank god it was gone, i swear i would have given a kudo if it hadn't and i would never-forgive-myself-for-it), i got so relieved, i even felt...happy, but what had it done to me , it was done, even relieved, I still felt strange, I felt that I had lost something, and I say, I feel that on that day I lost my love for these dolls, after that it was never the same, tbh i feel like i lost everything, everything that meant to me (my love for this dolls, my confidence, my stability, a-and my creativity)
#I wronged the day actually it was 23th😤 it has a reason for me get to remember the exactly day that this happened...#But i don't like to talk about it#Ngl i cried a little while writing this#This day/fanfic mess too much with my head#I think its horrible so i hidded this fanfic/day from marina for 3 MONTHS!? I only reveald this day/fanfic to her on february of 2020#Cuz it was on february of 2020 that i think this story came back💧and i didn't take it i had an anxiety attack and i opened up about it#I mean i think she already know/sensed that i saw something that got me shocked but i think didn't told her how it was the story#So that's it that it is the damn day the damn fanfic that haunts me till these days#It's funny whenever i remember that day i-i feel scared (a react as if i afraid of something) my body starts to shake#I start to move my head away like i don't want to look at it as if i'm reviving the day's emotions cuz i react exactly like that in the day#Wait wait so that means that the day that i had a strong rage outburst was the real day that i saw this story (december 23) that's weird#just like marina said one day god damnit we do blood brothers to get away from these pests💢🔥(ep3 homies)...#to get there the nobodies invent them in the middle of it😒💢#Remember these things makes me question why do i still manage to like this crap (idk if i should feel impressed or sad)#My memory with this l0lita fanfic is kinda distorcid i remember i didn't liked - liked it had some things i found kinda bullshit...#I think something to do with episode 3 i don't remember but it had something to do with ep 3 that i didn't liked#this l0lita vibe fanfic is one story that i always forget about it (sigh) i guess its cuz of the guilty i felt ashamed/dirty for liking it#But i feel bad for ana from the past cuz i reread the story and i understand why she liked/accpted it i don't think i should blame...#Myself for that or feel guilty💧and honestly i think i only endured this fanfic cuz my interpretation of it it's kinda interesting😒#Reflection
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nadvs · 3 months
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omg what if basketball!rafe takes reader out to dinner after a game or something, from sleeping with the enemy’s pleaseee
AHH SO CUTE YES OFC 🙂‍↕️
based on this fic
they keep hooking up after their first night together and rafe is in shock over how good the sex is and how much he enjoys her company. he’s a ‘hit it and quit it’ type of guy but he cannot get enough of her to the point where he can hardly wait for games against her college’s team because it’s a promise that he’ll see her.
one night a few weeks after they start being friends with benefits, his team suffers a loss by a few points against their worst rivals. he’s seething. the result of a game has a crazy effect on him. it always does.
he finds her courtside and while everyone around her is celebrating, she goes still once she notices him approaching her.
“close game,” she says, tilting her head while she looks up at him. at this point, she knows well enough how hard losses hit him.
eyes are on them. she can feel people judging how close she’s gotten to her side of the rivalry’s most hated athlete, but she doesn’t care.
rafe can tell she’s trying to make him feel better. underneath their usual harsh sarcasm and jokey insults, they’re two people who have a friendship built on sincere compatibility.
“your refs should be fired,” he mutters, pissed at how many calls against his opponents were missed. he’s sweaty and breathless from the game, his chest rising and falling at full tilt.
“oh, i’ll personally see to it,” she jokes. he scoffs, hating that he can’t stifle his smile.
“be ready in an hour,” rafe tells her. “i’ll pick you up from your dorm.”
“for what?”
“dinner,” he says assertively.
before he leaves, he pulls her in for a kiss. it’s a bonus that her ex sees. when she told him she wasn’t interested in max anymore, rafe couldn’t believe how relieved he was. he may have lost the game, but he won the girl.
rafe typically lays into his teammates after a bad loss. he’s a harsh captain but the guys respect him for it. but that night, he’s uncharacteristically quiet in the locker room. he’d never admit it to anyone, but knowing he’ll see her after this makes his anger lose its power.
she’s surprised that the restaurant he picked is as elegant as it is. she knows he came from money, but this place is nice. as they settle across from each other in a booth, she’s glad she dressed up.
“i didn’t say this,” she says, looking down at her menu, “but you’re right. the refs missed a lot of travelling on our side.”
“what?” rafe says, amused. “whatever happened to loyalty?”
“i told you i didn’t say anything,” she reiterates.
he taps his knuckles on the tabletop lightly, studying her.
“you don’t have to bullshit me,” he tells her.
“rafe,” she says seriously. “when do we ever bullshit each other?”
he meets her gaze, taking in how pretty she looks tonight. they’re just friends but on the outside, this looks like a date. he doesn’t mind.
“and you need to chill with the pushing,” she tells him. “you almost got fouled out.”
“did i?” he says with a laugh. he knows he did. he finds quite a lot of sick satisfaction in shoving his opponents.
“shut up,” she chuckles. “you won’t be laughing when you get benched.”
“don’t want that,” rafe mumbles. “who will you stare at then?”
“you stare at me,” she replies. “you said it yourself the first night we hooked up.”
“why are you thinking about hooking up right now?” he says, looking around the room. “this is a classy place.”
“you’re annoying as hell,” she laughs. “and for that, i’m ordering the most expensive thing. unless you’re not paying?”
“i’m paying,” he confirms. he doesn’t even want to joke about that. “and i’m coming over after.”
“depends on how this date goes,” she quips, looking back down at the menu.
rafe loves how laidback she is. how she can call it a date, but not expect him to be her boyfriend. it’s so easy with her. no expectations. just fun.
he never felt this good this fast after a loss. he doesn’t ever feel this relaxed with anyone. she may just be his best friend at this point.
she looks up, noticing his eyes on her.
“staring again?” she teases.
just a few seconds ago, she asked when they bullshit each other. they never do. he’d like to stick to that.
“yeah. you look good,” he tells her.
her skin flushes hot. she eyes him, the way the dim lighting washes over the planes of his face, the way he put an effort in tonight, dressing in a button-down instead of the usual t-shirt and sweats he wears whenever they meet for a booty call.
“at the risk of stroking your ego, so do you,” she replies.
“what else d’you wanna stroke?”
“jesus christ,” she laughs, nudging his knee under the table. he smirks.
whatever tense feelings were left over from tonight’s loss are gone now. he’s good. happy, even.
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81folklore · 1 year
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this is me trying - CL16
pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)
summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it
authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french
warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!
authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!
authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others
good food, yummy people😋
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arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?
yourusername: suuure😁
charles_leclerc: beautiful girl
yourusername: love you!!
user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭
yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭
user10: girl have you seen twitter…
user75: charles run as fast as you can
user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀
user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??
user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?
user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn
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yourusername
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studio time with baeee💋💋
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charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐
charles_leclerc: i love you so much
yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie
pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time
yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!
user73: oh my god new music soon
user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!
yourusername: maybeee
user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS
user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that
user2: yes she does
arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏
yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??
arthur_leclerc: please please please
user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭
arthur_leclerc added to their story
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*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*
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if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.
throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me
sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore
if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be
you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy
i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹
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arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world
charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always
yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode
user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much
yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹
user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears
user93: 🩵🩵
user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭
sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart
yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now
lewishamilton: 💜💜
yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭
user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)
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*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*
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frudoo · 2 months
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Literally obsessed with your Slasher 141 series, its been giving me so much brainrot
I have a few ideas;
reader feels a bit self conscious about her body and the boys make it their mission to show her how beautiful she is in their eyes (could be fluff or smut)
OR
Reader decides to be a brat over text to the boys as they were out for the day, and hides from the boys once they arrive home, resulting in them hunting and chasing her down 👀👀 ( smut and a lil fluff )
This is very self-indulgent because I've been feeling bad about my own body lately. This is for my fellow fat girls <3
Warnings: Mentions of skipping meals, food in general. Self-deprecating thoughts, somewhat poor communication. Fem!Reader is fat (in all of the slasher!141 AU). Fluff!
You’ve been off lately. During mealtime with the boys, you barely eat, just poke at the food on your plate. It isn’t like you—you’re usually the one to cook and try out all kinds of new recipes to share with your lovers, or baking sweet treats to give them after a hard day—so for you to suddenly have no interest in food is concerning. Tonight is no exception. John made your favorite, beef stew and cornbread (a southern delicacy you taught him how to make), but you just mindlessly stir the stew with your spoon, eyes focused on nothing at all.
     “How was your day, dove?” Kyle tries to break you from your trance, but you only nod.
     “Helped a chicken give birth today,” Simon stares straight at you, ignoring the incredulous looks the other three men give him.
     Still, no sort of reaction from you, other than an uninterested hum. 
     “Ah went tae the doctor earlier,” Johnny says next. “Turns oot ah’m pregnant.”
     “Nice,” you deadpan, completely oblivious to the outrageous lies these dumbasses have been telling you. 
     “Enough,” Price furrows his eyebrows, dropping his spoon with a clang. “Darlin’, you haven’t eaten in two days.”
     This time, you listen. Immediately, you rush to defend yourself, eyes narrowed at the bearded man.
     “I’ve just been fe-”
    “Don’t you give me that bullshit about bein’ sick, either. I’ve seen you sick, and it was completely different than this,” he interrupts, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Speak, baby. Tell us what’s goin’ on in that pretty head o’yours.”
     “It’s nothing,” you grumble.
     Simon sighs dramatically, slapping his palms down on the dining room table to push himself up out of his chair. Before you can protest, he picks you up and sits in your seat, then settles you in his lap. You try to wriggle free, but his hold on you is unwavering. 
     “Stop strugglin’ and tell us wha’ the fuck is wrong w’you,” the blond man grunts, strong arms wrapped around your waist so you can’t move as much. 
     “I hate my body!” You blurt, and the room falls silent. “I-I don’t know what you all see in me. I just… I look gross.”
     Tears build in your eyes and spill past your waterline, streaming down your round cheeks. All four men look at each other wordlessly, unsure of what to say. Their silence breaks your heart, and you manage to wriggle out of Simon’s lap. 
     “I’m going to bed,” you mumble, wiping your eyes with your sweatshirt and moping your way upstairs.
     Your bedroom is the furthest down the hall, the longest walk. Usually this fact doesn’t bother you, but with your state of mind the way it is right now, you can’t help but feel like it’s purposeful. You slam the door shut and lock it, purposefully avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror as you flop into bed. It creaks with your weight, and you let out another sob. 
     You end up crying yourself to sleep, clammy face stuck to your pillow. When you wake up, you find that your door is still locked and try your hardest not to burst into tears all over again. Not one of the boys came to check on you last night? It makes you feel even worse—are you that much of an eyesore that they don’t dare come see if you’re okay? The thought makes your stomach churn. A knock makes itself known on your door, pulling you from your thoughts.
     “Dove? Can you let us in?” Kyle’s soft voice sounds from the hallway. “Please?”
     “We wanna talk to you, sweet girl,” Price’s voice comes next, followed by more pleas from Johnny and Simon.
     With a shaky sigh, you oblige, unlocking the door and swinging it open. When your eyes fall on them, you bite back a gasp—they all look exhausted, puffy bags beneath their bloodshot eyes, frowns tugging their lips downward. You can’t imagine you look any better, but still, your heart aches seeing them look so down.
     “Hey, bonnie,” Johnny instantly brightens up when he sees you, and you have to fight the urge to push him off when he wraps his arms around you. 
     “Hi,” you mutter, impartial to the kiss the Scotsman plants on your temple.
     They all trail into your room nervously, and it’s just then that you notice a large jar in Simon’s arms. Your eyebrows furrow as you sit on the edge of your bed, waiting for one of them to speak up first.
     “I want to start by apologizin’, sweetheart,” John begins, sitting beside you on your bed. “We were all… well, none of us were expectin’ to hear you talk about yourself like that, and we panicked. That wasn’t fair to you.”
     You shrug, eyes focused on your lap. Price reaches out to grab your hand, gently running his thumb across your knuckles. 
     “You are absolutely stunnin’. You are the farthest thing from gross, dove,” Kyle sits on your opposite side, grabbing your unoccupied hand. 
     “Ah think ah speak fer all of us when ah say tha’ we love yer body,” Johnny hums.
     “I’m fat,” you frown, and Simon scoffs.
     “Yeah? And?” He narrows his eyes at you. “We like y’like tha’. More t’grab, more t’love.”
     “I don’t understand why,” you whisper, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously. 
     “What’s not to understand?” John squeezes your hand. “You’re soft, and warm.”
     “The fuckin’ best at cuddlin’, too,” Kyle grins.
     “Great tits,” Johnny butts in, earning himself a jab to the ribcage from Simon. “Och- wha’?! It’s true!”
     “Wha’ the wanker is tryin’ t’say is tha’ you’re perfect. For us, in general—y’complete us, love. Your body is jus’ a plus,” Simon concludes, finally stepping forward to offer you the jar.
     “What’s this?” You ask, carefully pulling your hands out of Kyle and John’s. 
     “We spent all nigh’ gatherin’ up pictures of you tha’ we love,” Kyle explains, watching excitedly as you screw the lid off. 
     Inside, the jar is filled to the brim with photos and polaroid pictures—candids of you baking in the kitchen, napping on the couch, tending to the garden or the animals, even selfies you sent to Johnny when the two of you first started talking online. Mixed in with those is printouts of text messages they’ve all sent each other, fawning over you, some of which dating back to even before you met the others. Tears stream down your face yet again, but instead of being sad, you’re overwhelmed with love and joy from these men you get to call yours.
     “I-I don’t know what to say,” you sniffle, setting down the jar to wipe your eyes.
     “Don’t say anythin’, darlin’, just let us hold you,” John murmurs, pulling you onto the bed and wrapping an arm around your waist.
     Maybe being dogpiled by your four huge husbands on an already creaky bed isn’t the best idea, but hey, all that matters is that you’re happy.
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gatorlovebot · 1 year
Text
nsfw. mdni. this is self indulgent but its my right as a 20 something who is getting ready to move out on their own for the first time to write about landlord john price ok <3
landlord price who buys a nice looking duplex in the city and fixes it up himself. lives in the top floor because he doesn’t need much space to himself and rents out the bottom unit. so far it had mostly been couples or smaller familes renting out the bottom unit, until you came along.
you, who had been saving money to rent something nice for yourself, something with a little extra space. the two bedroom downstairs unit is perfect for you, but you have pretty mixed feelings about your landlord living right above you. until you actually meet him.
upon moving in your greeted by the warm accent of john price. his eyes crinkle when he smiles at you and you can pick out grey hairs in his full beard. it’s so cliche, feeling butterflies for an older man whose kind to you but what are you supposed to do when he offers to help you bring in boxes, muscly arms on full display?
he allows you time and space to get settled in, with a promise of, “i’m just upstairs if you ever need anything.”
you don’t see him for the next few days until there’s a knock at your door and its him, looking soft and sweet in a grey henley, just in time for the colder fall weather. “would you care to join me for dinner? i tried a new soup recipe and seems like a i have enough to feed a small army.”
and that’s how you end up in his space for the first time. it’s tiday yet lived in. furniture dark and worn. you can tell a man lives here. dinner is nice, soup rich and filling. but john makes it so much better. effortlessly making you laugh with his bad jokes and stories. he’s warm and personable. your little crush grows when he walks you back downstairs to your unit when the sun goes down. you find yourself struggling to go inside to your empty apartment.
some days you see him and some days you don’t. your work schedule is consistent but you can’t get a read on his schedule, coming and going unpredicatably. life of a retiree, you think.
sometimes you catch him when you’ve come home from work. usually you’re thrilled to see him, an immediate smile stretching across your face and a blush on your cheeks as soon as you see his smile and hear his voice.
sometimes you curse his presence. like now, when you can’t even wait until you get inside your place before the tears start to fall. and of course john has to be in the front yard racking up leaves. you try to give a polite hello and walk up the steps inside, but john price can already read you like a book.
he’s pulling you into his chest before you even know it, big, solid arms wrapped around your shoulders holding you snug to him. “what’s got you so upset, huh?”
and you let the tears fall in earnest, feeling safe and secure with john. “work…just fucking sucks.”
“oh you poor thing,” he coos before gathering you up in his arms and leading you up to his place. he brews some tea as you sink into his couch, the leather warm and soft underneath you. once the teas done, he settles next to you and let’s you warble on about how unsupportive your work environment is and how your boss never follows through on his promises. he mostly just lets you talk, letting out an occasional hum in affirmation. that night he’s not very talkative, he’s much more tactile. running his hands up and down your arms, rubbing the tension from your shoulders and back as he allows you to lean on him until you’re practically in his lap. you’ve exhausted yourself crying and he thanks you for being so vulnerable with him and tells you that even though you don’t deserve all the bullshit at your job, you’re such a brave girl for fighting through it.
things continue to get more and more comfortable between you two. you would almost go as far as to say you would consider him a friend. you do still sometimes have awkward moments though. like when you go down to the basement to change your laundry from the washer to the dryer and you find him already placing your garments in. “oh sorry,” he says, flustered, a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks at being caught. “i spilt some paint on myself earlier while touching up the trim outside and really needed to get some stuff in the washer. i was going to message you asking if all this stuff could go in the dryer.”
he’s so thoughtful, you think. “yeah, it can all go in. thanks, john!”
hours later when you’re finally putting away your clean laundry you realize some of your panties are missing. oh well, its an older dryer, must have eaten them.
its months layer when your stomach drops as you read a text from john asking if you could come upstairs later tonight, there was something he needed to talk to you about. you feel a flash of panic, his text sounding serious. did you do something wrong? you had just seen him the previous day and everything between you seemed fine. you thought you were a great renter, but now you weren’t so sure.
you make your way up to his place and he greets you at the door, usual soft smile on his face.
“i just wanted to get something out in the open,” he starts as you both take a seat on the couch. “i’ve noticed an odor coming from downstairs late at night.”
for a moment you have no idea what he could be talking about, an odor, you think and then it hits you. your late night smoke sessions. “oh, yeah.” it dawns on you. “i’m so sorry about that.”
“no, no, it’s fine.” he reassures, “i would be a bit of a hypocrite myself to be honest, i smoke cigars constantly. try to keep it to just the back balcony but sometimes i break my own rules.”
“yeah, i don’t do it in the apartment because that would be rude, but,” you wince, “sometimes i get a little too lazy to go outside so i just do it out my bedroom window.”
“ah, no worries, dear. just wanted to let you know that i know.”
with your panic subsiding you feel a little bold, “would you like to smoke a little, john?”
“if you’re offering, i’ll be on the balcony.”
you would have never imagined sharing a joint with john would lead you here. in his lap, legs splayed open with your pants around your ankles. listening to the wet sounds of your pussy as he dips his big fingers inside you, hitting all the right spots. your brain is floaty and your limbs feel weightless against his big body that surrounds yours.
there’s a constant stream of nonsense and whimpers that leaves your lips as you dumbly watch him pet your swollen clit. but its the filth from his mouth that really gets you. “such a pretty little thing fo’ me, huh?”
“this little cunt ‘s all mine, right?”
“i’ve been thinking about touching you like this since the day you moved in.”
“cum on my fingers, sweet girl, i know you want to.”
and you do, clenching around his fingers as you keen and moan through it. there’s a whispered, “good girl,” deep and gravelly in your ear before you’re being lifted into john’s arms as he carries you back inside, to his bedroom.
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lxkeee · 7 months
Text
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
-PART SIX
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim Angel! Fem! Reader
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Genre: Angst (for now)
Warnings: Depression, swearing and mentions of self h*rm.
Notes: shit is about to go down.
PART ONE | PART FIVE | PART SEVEN | NAVIGATION
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“I don't understand Michael sometimes, I guess it runs in the blood.” The angel of death muttered underneath his breath, Azrael sighs, running his hand through his dark black locks, feeling the soft strands of his hair in-between his fingers. He is annoyed, annoyed at how Michael didn't leave any room for [Y/n] to say no. Sure, Michael did make a bargain that if she wins rock-paper-scissors against him, he'll change his decision but [Y/n] sucks at rock-paper-scissors so she didn't have any chance of winning in the first place. Well, he guessed that this is Michael's way of winning against [Y/n] as the man is absolute shit when it comes to Monopoly.
Azrael is confused, why does Michael want [Y/n] to see her good for nothing husband? Azrael asked him about it and the man just told him to trust him, as it is what their dear creator has told him. He is confused why Michael is really pushing [Y/n] to see his twin brother. Azrael asked the man about it and he just looked away with a sad smile. Azrael knew how much it affected Michael that his twin brother was casted out of heaven. Despite him being one of the angels who voted for him to be casted out. Azrael knew how much of a tough decision Michael made. But still,
Bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
Azrael trusts God on his decision but he doesn't know if the outcome of this will be good, Azrael has been by [Y/n]'s side ever since Lucifer was being a neglectful asshole and he heard that the fallen angel got married again when in hell. How is he going to accept that his dear friend is going to get hurt again? Azrael knows how much pain Lucifer caused [y/n], how much pain it brought to Xavier. Goodness! He saw the poor boy trying to stab his own face with his own angelic weapon, thankfully he was there to stop him.
Azrael's shoulders slumped, already feeling more stressed than usual. He is worried, so worried about [Y/n]'s mental state as he knows how fragile it is. He knows how much shit she's going through, she's constantly trying to help cleanse earth from the constantly growing evil while maintaining to be kind and to add more to her plate, she has a son to take care of and now... She's about to take care of whatever the fuck is happening on hell?
His feet quickened its pace, speed walking the long hallways of the Seven Heavenly Virtues building, trying to reach [Y/n]'s floor and office, he would've immediately checked up on her after the meeting but he had some important matters to deal with and he prays that the poor girl didn't have a mental breakdown again. Which somehow, he feels like she already did. He hopes that he's wrong though.
His heels clicked against the gold marbled white tiles, rays of sunlight passing through the curtains giving the hallway an orange glow from the setting sun.
He finally reached her office, knocking against the wooden door. No answer. He sighs rather loudly. He knocks again. No answer.
“[Y/n]? It's me, Azrael. Are you alright?” He asked softly, pressing his ear against the door to listen if she answered him. None. He became worried.
Grabbing the spare key that he has—he has a key to everyone's room and office, don't ask how and why he has them. Anyways, inserting the key to the lock, twisting it and he finally heard the satisfying click.
He quickly pushed open the door, his worried and tensed shoulders relaxing once he finally saw her, asleep on her desk. Her head on the table, her body slouched uncomfortably.
He could see the tear stains on her cheeks, golden blood from her fingers. A rather bad habit of hers, she tends to pick the skin off the side of her nails when she's stressed and sometimes causes it to bleed.
Azrael smiled softly, allowing himself inside her office. He closed and locked the door behind him before he tiptoed across the room and finally beside her.
He kneeled down beside her so he's now face-to-face to her. Azrael admired her sleeping face, he loves it when she's at peace like this. He wants her to be happy. His eyes saddened, oh how he wished to give her the happiness she deserves. But it's truly unfortunate that she doesn't love him the same way he loves her.
Always the side character, never the romantic interest.
With a sigh, he gently lifted her up from her seat. Carrying her in his arms like a bride that he'll never have the chance to call as his.
[Y/n] groans when she felt that she was lifted off from her chair, she opened one to look at the person who woke her up. She saw Azrael looking down on her with an amused smirk.
“Come on, let's get you back to your room. You need some rest.” he says softly to her and she just groaned and he chuckled. A black and gold portal opened behind them and Azrael stepped inside with [Y/n] in his arms. The portal closed after they went in.
Azrael opened the portal back to her house and back to her room, he gently laid her on the bed. Making sure she didn't lie on her hair. Tucking her in comfortably.
“I don't know what I'll do without you, Azi... I wished that I could've loved you instead. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.” she whispered, her voice breaking. She really wished that she fell in love with Azrael, he treated her and Xavier far better than Lucifer does but her heart remained still with Lucifer. Why? Why? WHY?! Why can't she fall in love with a perfect man that is in front of her but continue to love a man that is far away from her and probably doesn't give two shits about her and their son?
Azrael's eyes softened, a forced smile on his face. He tucks away a strand of her hair that is falling in front of her face, tucking it behind her ear. I really wished that too, I can treat you far better than him, is what he thought but decided not to say, “Don't apologize sweetheart, you really can't force a heart to reciprocate someone's feelings, no? And I can understand that. How about you take some rest and clear your mind hmm?” he suggested softly with a small smile, wiping away the tear that runs down her cheek. [Y/n] nodded, hiccuping slightly before eventually closing her eyes.
She was fast asleep the moment she did.
Azrael smiled and sighed, turning around on his heel as he walked out of her room, closing the door behind him. Walking away from someone he's not meant to be with. He just hoped that whatever God is doing is right.
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Time flew by so quickly that [Y/n] didn't even notice, she was far too busy dealing with both Heavenly and Mortal realm matters. The root of evil is constantly growing and getting even more powerful on earth and the Seven Heavenly Virtues are trying to contain it. All seven of them were exposed to such horrors and so much evil while on earth, slowly threatening to consume them or even corrupt them.
[Y/n] limped back to her office in heaven, golden blood flowing off her side. She just finished her work on earth, she was trying to cleanse a root of evil when it suddenly changed direction and changed its direction towards her in immense speed and causing it to pierce her side. She managed to cut it down but the negativity from the root seeped into her wound, causing her healing powers to slow down.
She winced as she finally slumped down into her seat, hovering her hand over her wound, a golden glow radiating from her palm. The wound slowly closed, but not fully but enough that she can bandage it up. But the healing took too much of her energy and she felt she was about to pass out.
She opened one of the drawers of her desk, pulling out a medical kit and began treating her wounds. She winced as she tried to clean it. After so much struggle, she finally cleaned her wound.
[Y/n] leaned against her chair, almost passing out when her eyes landed on to the calendar that is in her office. Her eyes widened, “Today is the extermination day?!” she shrieked and quickly stood up from her seat, she hissed as pain quickly shot from her waist all throughout her body. She gripped into the table, her nails scratching the wood.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck... I forgot about that.” she muttered, trying to stabilize herself, “I hope I can stop Adam and the exorcists..” she muttered, pain still evident in her voice. Running her hands through her hair. Gripping into her locks in frustration.
Ah crap, I hope I don't pass out. She thought as she weakly opens a portal to hell. Composing herself before finally stepping inside the portal.
The first thing she noticed is Adam spewing out shit from his mouth, the hotel she heard about now destroyed, exorcists killing sinners. Anger fills her veins, her six wings puffing behind her and along with multiple eyes opened on her wings. She's beyond pissed, the audacity these angels have to perform an act without notice from the higher ups. Without thinking she summoned her second angelic weapon, a bow and arrow. Aiming it just beside Adam—a warning shot. Successfully catching his and the other's attention.
“Adam, respectfully please shut your mouth!” She ordered, her voice booming, glaring down on the people on the ground, specifically at the first man. She's far too angry to keep her attention on the back of her husband or ex-husband. There's a limit to how much an angel of kindness and healing can take, and unfortunately for Adam, this is Angel Raphael's breaking point.
“Because if you don't, I will personally kill you myself.” She sneered, her hand clenching tightly on to her bow, her fingers itching to fire another arrow and just finish the man.
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“No... You don't get to end this.” Adam growled in pain, weakly standing up from the rubble of where he crashed, “I'm fucking Adam! I'm the fucking man!” he yelled, turning to look at Lucifer in anger, “And you're just some fucking clown or something!” Adam growled and Lucifer just stared at the man with a deadpan expression, not really paying attention.
“I started everything on earth! All of mankind came from these fucking nuts!” Adam exclaimed. They just stared at the man who's clearly pissed at the fact he lost.
Suddenly, an arrow shot just beside Adam, barely missing the first man. The golden arrow embedded on to the ground. Silence, as people were filled with awestruck. Adam was filled with fear.
“Adam, respectfully please shut your mouth!” A female voice boomed, her powerful and authoritative voice echoing in to the air. Goosebumps danced across Lucifer's skin, he knows that voice. The very voice that he didn't hear for so many years, the voice that kept haunting him. The haunting and guilt worsened after Charlie told him he had a son in heaven.
They turned around and looked up at the sky to see a very furious seraphim glaring down on them—specifically on the first man, Adam.
Lucifer's eyes were glued on her, she's so close yet so far away.
He admired her angelic form, he can practically feel her authority and power from where he stood. Despite all of this, despite how absolutely terrifying she looked. Her beauty never really scared him. She looked as beautiful as the day he lost her when he fucked up.
“Because if you don't, I will personally kill you myself.” [Y/n] added, her eyes glaring down on Adam, her power and strength can be felt through the air and they can tell that she is absolutely furious.
“Oh shit.” Adam muttered underneath his breath. His boss' boss is here.
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END NOTES: SURPRISE UPDATE 🤯🤯 ANYWAYS, AZRAEL STANS HOW ARE WE FEELING TONIGHT?
TAGLIST I:
@valerie-36 @blackbleedingrose @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @ok-boke @random-3455 @izzieg3987 @snoozewritezz @dreamzaremyrealityy @hcneyiced @witchbunny1210 @ghostdoodlen @aikobakugou @just-here-reading @dzhanett-blog @des-deswain5621 @cocomollo @haleypearce @onyxstarhigh06 @nirvana5874 @shaebutter-baby
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ilovepaigebueckerss · 4 months
Text
the other women.
word count: 886 (kinda short)
pairing: p.b. x reader
summary: After the live incident with Azzi y/n confronts paige.
pt: 2/3 (I think there will be 3 parts idk)
NOT PROOFREAD SO NTM.
i hope yall enjoy thiss. im gonna remake part 1 because it doesnt really fit with this part too well. i mean its good enough for yall to get the plot of the story but ykkk. SO SORRY FOR MAKING AZZI A BAD PERSON YALL ITS FOR THE PLOTTT🙏🙏 tried to do the lil picture thing evb be doing cs i thought it was cute how we feeling?..
-love gabby💋
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3RD PERSON
Paige wakes up to an empty bed. She blinks rapidly trying to blink the sleepiness away. Wincing as she feels the hangover coming in. She notices the advil and glass of water on the bedside table you left for her. There was ice in the cup indicating the glass was filled not too long ago.
She doesn’t hesitate to pick up the glass and pills and takes them with one big gulp.
YOUR POV
Whenever you’re mind is too loud you usually vent to Paige and cry in her arms. You couldn’t do that this time so you went for a walk. You honestly had no clue where you were because you were so consumed in your thoughts you lost track of where you were walking.
Youre phone pinged snapping you out of your thoughts.
my fav blonde🖕🏻: Where are you?
You stared at the message not knowing if you should respond or not.
Just out for a walk.
You respond dryly trying to let her know you don’t want to speak to her. You hated confrontation so you didn’t know what you were going to do about the whole Azzi situation.
my fav blondie🖕🏻: Thanks for the advil and water, bug.
You stared at the phone not even realizing you were crying until you saw the tear droplet falling down your screen.
That damn nickname. She had given it to you as a joke when you first started dating and it’s stuck ever since. Whenever she called you it, a wave of comfort rushed through your body. Now it was just making you sad.
“You okay?” you hear a semi-familiar voice call out.
You look up quickly wiping your tears and see this girl from your psychology class. Her name was Addie or something like that.
“Yeah” you manage to croak out.
“You sure? Doesn’t really seem like it.” she says chuckling attempting to lighten the mood.
“Yeah. Thanks for asking.” You say smiling.
She smiles back. She was pretty, she had freckles and was brunette.
“Do you need a ride?” She offers still smiling.
“If its not too much of a bother.” You say embarrassed.
“Ofcourse! Hop in.”
PAIGES POV
Guilt is rushing through my body remembering the events from last night. It all happened so fast and it was a mistake.
my baby: omw home. 🤍 (hearted the msg)
my baby: got a ride from this girl
I smiled seeing her notification.
Theres even a video going around and im just praying y/n didnt see it. She could take it the wrong way. I would have to tell her eventually. She just cant find out through a video on social media.
FLASHBACK: AT THE BAR
STILL PAIGES POV
Azzi was being extra touchy tonight but I just assumed it was the alcohol. I mean she knows I have a girlfriend and she loves her.
“Paige, you look so good” Azzi slurs out running her hand down my chest.
I quickly move her hand off of me. “Thanks Azzi.” I say smiling. She puts her red solo cup up to her mouth “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight” I say grabbing the drink from her.
“Nooooo” She whines. I just laugh at her drunk antics.
She grabs my face and gets really close. “Never noticed how pretty your eyes were.” She says staring at my eyes.
I just smile awkwardly trying to get out of her grasp. Before I knew it her lips were on mine. I gently push her off me. “Azzi.” I begin. “Paige you know you want me just as much as I want you.” She cuts me off.
“I have a girlfriend. And shes the only girl I want.” I say sharply.
“This is bullshit” She spits, pushing herself off of me.
PRESENT TIME
3RD PERSON
“Thanks for the ride.” Y/n says smiling at the brunette. Who smiles back “Anytime.”
Y/n is fumbling with her keys outside of the apartment door trying to find the right one. Once you find the key she puts it in the lock and unlocks the door.
Paige immediately shoots up of the couch and runs to her girlfriend. “Hi babyy.” she says smiling and giving you a hug. “missed you.” she says in your neck.
The feeling of Paige’s breathe on your neck made you shiver.
“Hey.” You couldn’t help but smile, missing Paiges warmth.
You let go of each other and you wander off into the kitchen while Paige goes back to her spot on the couch.
“Hey can we talk?” You manage to say. Paige looks up at you and hums in response already knowing what you’re going to say.
“What happened last night..” You pause and clear your throat “With Azzi?” You say trying to hold back your tears.
“Y/n I promise it wasn’t what it looked like.”
“Then what was it Paige.” You snap all your built up anger coming out. “Because it looked like the love of my life cheating on me with her BEST FRIEND.” You say emphasizing the last two words.
“Please let me explain baby.” Paige says, tears pricking her eyes.
“Don’t call me that.” You say coldly.
“You don’t need to explain anything I saw what I needed to see.” You say before Paige could open her mouth to speak.
You walk out of the door not wanting to make the situation worse.
thank you for reading mwahh!
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fangirl-writes · 7 months
Text
Tell me you want this
Isaac Lahey x Fem!Stilinski!Reader
Warning(s): canon-level stuff, blood, making out, mentions of sex
Summary: In a life that is constantly on the move, you appreciate the small moments much more. Especially if they're with Isaac.
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"It'll just heal in a few minutes, you know," Isaac said.
"I know," you replied, sitting on his bed next to him.
You pulled a baby wipe from its package and held Issac's chin between your thumb and forefinger, moving his head to look him over.
It had been a particularly bad fight, for everyone. The kind of fight where you needed the rest of the night to just heal; physically, mentally, emotionally.
And, of course, you wouldn't let Isaac do it on his own.
You began wiping at a spot on his face, gliding the cloth over the apple of his cheek.
"If Stiles finds out about this, he's gonna be upset," Isaac said, watching your face contort as you worked.
"Yeah, well," you moved his head to the other side, frowning at the mention of your brother. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
You and Isaac had known each other forever. Being in the same grade, it would’ve been hard not to notice one another, but even besides that you had a connection. You were sort of friends.
Not the kind that hung out outside of school, but the loners who ate lunch under the bleachers and spent free periods in the library.
You also covered for him whenever he wasn’t in school, finding out about his home life after his dad had a particularly bad day.
You’d cleaned him up then, too.
Isaac gently grabbed your wrist, "and Derek-"
"Derek's not gonna hurt me."
You'd long since perfected sneaking into Derek's loft to see Isaac. You suspected that he knew you were there. Being a seasoned werewolf, you were sure he could hear the extra heartbeat, if not smell your scent.
But you didn't care, and clearly neither did he.
But Isaac? Isaac cared.
Ever since he became a werewolf, and you were further pulled into the bullshit that came along with that, he’d been protective in a way he hadn’t before.
You weren’t sure if it was a wolf thing or if Isaac felt some kind of obligation to you. Either way, you wouldn’t let him keep you out of it.
Tossing the wipe in the trash, you put your hand to his now clean cheek. "Relax."
He eyed you for a long moment, searching, before he took a deep breath and leaned into your touch.
The shape of his jaw pressed into your palm, his hand wrapping around your wrist gently, as if just to touch you.
Silence surrounded you, only the sound of your heartbeats and breathing cutting through.
That and the tension that hung palpably in the small space between you.
"You know," he pulled at the new hole in his shirt. "I think you better get this one, too."
You smiled, shaking your head. "I guess I better."
He wasted no time in pulling the material over his head and tossing it somewhere else in the room, making you laugh.
You scooted closer to him, crossing your legs under you and pulling another wipe from the package.
"Oh, Isaac," you said, taking in the wound. "It must've hurt."
He shrugged. "You'd be surprised how much the adrenaline can mask...and I'm used to pain."
He was so close now, close enough you could feel his breath on your cheek as you cleaned him up.
You focused on the task at hand because if you didn't, you'd notice the way he was staring at you. And you weren't sure what you'd do if you met his eyes.
He was fitter than he used to be, the tone of his chest and abs more prominent, his arms more muscular.
You unconsciously lifted your other hand to drag it down his chest.
He shivered under your touch. "Y/N..."
You swallowed, stilling your hand on his shoulder as you continued to clean him up.
"Y/N," he said again, making you look up at him.
His eyes were already on you, as you suspected, looking at you with so much intensity you wondered what he was thinking.
"Yes?"
He was so beautiful, especially this close.
You could see every line on his face, every freckle, every mole. The sculpt of his nose, the part of his lips. The dim light made the blue of his eyes seem darker, or maybe that was just the way he was looking at you.
He lightly pushed down your hand that had stilled on his chest so that he could lean closer, brushing his nose against yours.
"Tell me you want this."
His breath fanned your lips, and you sucked in a breath. "Isaac-"
"I can hear your heartbeat," he said. "I can tell how nervous you are...don't be. Tell me you want this."
You released the breath, shakily. "Yes. Yes, please, kiss me."
He leaned in, pressing his lips softly against yours.
You kissed him back, hesitantly. So hesitantly that he stopped, but didn't go far, allowing you the power to continue if you wanted. And you did.
More confidently this time, you kissed him. And he kissed you back.
You didn't realize how much you'd wanted this until now. How kissing him felt akin to breathing; natural, easy, like if you stopped, you might die.
It was a natural progression that he pulled you closer by your waist, his hands rough but gesture gentle, slow.
Your hands slid their way over the shape of his arms, then shoulders, then neck before they finally stopped to tangled themselves in his hair.
He hummed into your mouth, dragging his tongue over your bottom lip, and you parted them. His tongue slid over yours, experimentally, trying to find a rhythm.
You tugged against his hair.
That caused him to moan.
His fingers were ghosting just under your shirt when-
"Isaac, I need you to- oh my god."
You jumped apart, faces burning, as Derek stood in the doorway of Isaac's room.
It was pointless to try to look innocent, Isaac was shirtless for Christ's sake.
"Okay, I've clearly let this go on too long, I don't need you having sex in here."
"We weren't going to have sex!" Isaac protested, and you hid your face in your hands.
"Maybe not yet," Derek replied, crossing his arms. "How'd you get here anyway?"
"Walked," you replied sheepishly.
"Great, now I'm going to have to take you home. They're going to think I've kidnapped you."
"I can walk home."
"After that fight today? I'm surprised you made it here, let alone getting back."
"I can take her back," Isaac offered.
"And have you get busy in my car? Yeah, no, thanks."
"We wouldn't-" Isaac groaned. "Fine."
"Let's go. Now."
Too embarrassed to protest, you stood and followed Derek out the door.
Boyd and Erica were sitting in the main room and looked at you with wide eyes when they saw you come out of Isaac's room.
Great, you thought. Now it looks like a walk of shame.
"Y/N, wait."
You turned as Isaac came out of his room, holding your jacket in his hand.
"You, uh, forgot this," he said, blushing as everyone looked at him.
Face hot, you took it from him. "Thanks."
You put it on as Derek grabbed his keys and the two of you disappeared out the door.
Then Boyd and Erica's eyes drifted back to Isaac.
"...what?"
Erica split into a grin. "So, Stilinski, huh?"
"Shut up."
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fict1onallyobsessed · 3 months
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Slide and Dice
Sevika x Reader
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Sevika was no hairdresser.
Clearly.
Last time she tried to "trim" her hair she ended up hacking it off with the sword in her mechanical hand because she was so annoyed at it. Scissors were just too far away and the ends of her hair tickled the back of her neck just enough to make her snap on a bad day.
"Um...What happened?"
"It pissed me off."
It was funny at the time. Not only because of how silly it sounded but also at the absolute abomination she managed to do to her ends. It was not even, or straight, but it definitely screamed Sevika.
You weren't going to argue, but you knew the next time it came to her having a haircut, you were not going to let her do it. You even offered to fix her hair now, but Sevika being the stubborn asshole she was just shook her head.
"No. Looks fine." She shrugged, seemingly very impressed with herself.
"Whatever you say, baby."
She did absolutely everything to make it seem like her hair was fine. Like she wasn't bothered by it being so jagged at the ends because of the blade she used. Or the fact people stared at her a little too long now, and not out of fear. It wasn't REALLY that noticeable, and everyone was staring because she was Sevika, but even she could see the difference in length.
Eventually it somehow evened out by itself as it grew, some small bits still slightly shorter than the rest but she paid it less attention as time went on...
…Until it was time to cut it again.
Until she could feel the rough ends of her hair on her neck again.
She almost whipped her sword out again.
You watched as she stared at herself in the mirror, eye twitching as she analysed on what to do to it now. She really didn't want to have to slice it off the way she did last time, but then again why not. It was fast, efficient and saved her faffing around with it with scissors.
You walked into the bathroom with scissors in your hand, looking at her with your 'no bullshit' look and grabbed a chair, basically knocking the back of her knees with it.
"What are you-"
"I will not let you assault your hair like that again."
"My-? It looked fine."
"Sit."
She relented, watching you intently as you ran your hands through her hair. You could basically feel the split ends in between your fingers, planning how short you'd have to make it to salvage its previous silkiness.
She sat and watched, kind of looking like a sulking child as you played with her hair. Her eyes slid closed when your nails ran across her scalp, silently thankful you could take care of it instead.
"I'll have to cut it a bit shorter than usual if you want it to look better."
"It looks fine."
You laughed. You didn't mean to, but you did. She knew that the way she went about it last time was merely a action out in anger rather than a rational decision. Her ego was just to high to admit it.
You took the scissors and evened her hair out, measuring the amount and the place before you made your first snip. Then another, and another.
Sevika sat with her back straight, sniff as stone. You didn't even think she was breathing for the time being. She didn't care much for her hair really, but still wanted it to be better than it was.
"There."
She looked at it, analysing it again and again until she exhaled.
It was so even.
Finally.
It was shorter, but that's because you had to sacrifice all of the ends that were crumbling in your hands. Not enough for it to be noticeable though, but enough for her hair to feel better.
"Much better, Vika."
She hummed, standing up for the chair she was sat in as you put the scissors away. She didn't have to say thank you for you to know she was relieved. When she turned to face you and engulf you into her arms, her lips kissing the top of your head, you smiled.
"Much better indeed."
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antoncyng · 5 months
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౨ৎ. not the same. — c.yj
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synopsis - waking up a week after you and yeonjun’s breakup, only to remember it was supposed to be your anniversary today.
warnings - angst with no happy ending ;(, yeonjun cheated, gn!reader, mentions of alcohol and being drunk, cursing, not proofread | wc : ??
notes - do not read if u get sad easily…
head pounding headache, heavy heart and chest, blurry eyes and a dried face was all you could feel right now. ever since you and yeonjun broke up only a week ago, your routine has been much different.
no motivation to go out, the feeling of your phone vibrating with notifications from your friends trying to get you to go out, occasionally some from yeonjun still attempting to apologize for his actions.
LAST WEEK
it was your bestfriend, yuna’s birthday party. she was a huge party person, so it was basically a whole frat/house party just celebrating her birthday. a dj blasting music, self serve bar with lots of alcohol, and food.
you came with yeonjun, but were soon separated after he told you he would just get another drink and maybe say hi to some friends who he passed by while walking with you. you trusted yeonjun with your whole heart, of course, how couldn’t you after dating for almost 2 years?
the minute yeonjun left you alone with your friends, something in your gut was telling you something bad would happen, but you couldn’t get yourself to believe it.
that was until about 10 minutes later, you told your group of girls you would be back to find yeonjun, leaving to the kitchen and searching for him everywhere, even asking his friends you never talked to. you soon spotted a familiar head in the corner of the dining room, that was also filled with many people.
you didn’t want to believe it, you wanted to rub your eyes and make the sight you were seeing blur away, you wanted to cover your ears from the music and shut your eyes just to tell yourself it wasn’t true, but it was. you stood there for a good 3 minutes, tears well falling out of your eyes and down your face already, your shaky hand making its way to cover your mouth that was wide open.
“y-yeonjun..?” you called out as loud as you could, watching the boy turn around after separating his lips from the girl he was cornering, face turning red as soon as he saw your crying figure, you could tell he was horribly drunk but definitely sobered up in some way from the sight of you. “what are you.. doing..?” was the last thing you could murmur out before breaking into tears and turning around, pushing past people to make your way to the front door.
you heard yeonjun shouting your name and telling you to stop and turn around, his voice desperate and almost sweetly convincing. but it was shut out by your mind, your eyes were blurry as tears flowed down your face, everything that entered your ears sounded drowned out, all you could think of was how you needed to get home and just rot in bed.
“y/n, please talk to me! it’s not what it looked like!” he finally said as he got to you, holding your wrist to get you to turn around and face him. after yanking your wrist from his hand, you could see the visible hurt on his face, forcing everything in you to stop yourself from pulling him into your embrace and apologize for “overreacting”.
“don’t start with that bullshit yeonjun! what do you mean its not what it looks like? you wanna sit here and lie to my fucking face and say you weren’t full on making out with that girl? who knows what would even happen if i didn’t catch you, you probably would’ve took her upstairs and fucked her for all i know!” you shouted at him, watching the waterline of his eyes fill with tears of guilt, knowing he messed up bad. you knew yeonjun, and the look he had on his face looked like he just wanted to crouch down and rip all his hair out from guilt, all you could think of is hugging him tightly as if he just had a bad day, but you knew you had to end it here. “you know yeonjun, if you wanna do this shit at parties like you did before we met, you can now. we’re done.” you stated, trying to sound as stern as you could, only to break down after taking a few steps away from the boy.
after walking away, you heard yeonjun break down into tears and sob while watching you walk away, but you knee you had to fight yourself from running back to him and taking him in your arms.
AND HERE WE ARE NOW …
you finally decided to pick up your phone, looking at the time and date, tears welling up once again after seeing it was you and yeonjun’s second anniversary, but it broke you knowing you weren’t together anymore to spend this special day.
unlocking yourself and checking your notifications just broke you more, seeing the messages yeonjun left you after the break up.
my jun ♡
APR 7TH . 8:39 PM
my jun ♡ : hey yn, can we please talk?
my jun ♡ : i know i fucked up
my jun ♡ : just please let me know you’re okay
APR 9TH . 11:46 AM
my jun ♡ : i know you probably don’t wanna see my messages
my jun ♡ : but i can’t stop thinking about you
my jun ♡ : it’s not the same waking up without you
my jun ♡ : i hope you know you’ll always be the one i love with my whole heart
my jun ♡ : i’m so sorry y/n
APR 9TH . 5:34 PM
my jun ♡ : hi y/n, i hope you’ve eaten today
my jun ♡ : i know you have a hard time eating after your classes
my jun ♡ : i’m sorry i can’t be that reminder for you anymore
APR 10TH . 4:26 AM
my jun ♡ : i miss you so much
my jun ♡ : i would do anything to go back and never leave your side at that party again
my jun ♡ : i would do anything to have another chance
my jun ♡ : fuck i’m probably bothering your sleep
my jun ♡ : i’m sorry, i’ll always be sorry. sleep well y/n, 🤍
APR 11TH . 6:38 PM
my jun ♡ : you haven’t been active on any of your social medias
my jun ♡ : are you okay?
my jun ♡ : well i know you aren’t okay
my jun ♡ : i didn’t mean it like that i know you could be okay of course
my jun ♡ : fuck i’m sorry
APR 12TH . 2:17 PM
my jun ♡ : hi y/n
my jun ♡ : i feel a little stalkerish continuing to text you even when you don’t reply, kinda funny isn’t it?
my jun ♡ : what am i kidding, nothings funny to me anymore
my jun ♡ : i can’t even bring myself to talk to anyone anymore
my jun ♡ : i hope you’re doing okay, and not crying anymore
my jun ♡ : you know i hate seeing you cry
my jun ♡ : even tho you look gorgeous when you cry
my jun ♡ : i love you y/n
APR 13TH . 1:07 AM
my jun ♡ : i hope you remember what day it is
my jun ♡ : because i sure do
my jun ♡ : here i am, sitting in my bed alone
my jun ♡ : our song playing on repeat
my jun ♡ : i would do everything and anything just for you to forgive me
my jun ♡ : even just a hug would get me to smile again
my jun ♡ : happy anniversary, i love you forever y/n, even if it’s not the same anymore.
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authors note - thank you for reading! i’ve always been bad with angst so this might be total booty cheeks but.. oh well its worth a shot ^-^
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL NOR REPOST !
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withacapitalp · 10 months
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All this was inspired by listening to She’s So Overrated by Madilyn Bailey so fair warning LMAO. Also this got SO MUCH LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO IM SORRY IT WAS JUST ME WRITING DOWN AN IDEA......
Okay so I’m having thoughts about modern AU lead singer Eddie Munson who’s been in the industry for years with the boys. Corroded Coffin is a staple of the metal industry, but for a few years he’s been feeling really stalled in his career and just stuck in place. He’s still making music, still performing, but he feels like he’s getting farther and farther from that kid who used to scream and sing in his closet bedroom in the shoebox apartment he used to share with Wayne. 
So when he and the boys are in an interview and the interviewee brings up how “King” Steve Harrington from The Four is trying to reinvent himself with the help of former bandmate Robin Buckley, Eddie goes off. He works himself up into a little tizzy, ranting Munson Doctrine style about how a former teen pop star trying to become some second rate folk singer isn’t anything special, and that he wouldn’t be caught dead cashing in like that. 
That Steve’s music is bad (even though he’s honestly never listened to it) and “King” Steve is overrated. How even Beiber is better than him. He’s just bullshit. 
Of course the interview goes viral, and finds its way to Steve and Robin. Robin listens to it first and she doesn’t want Steve to watch it. She knows how close things like this cut him (especially that word), and how he’s been dealing with a lot of hate from everyone even from former fans who are confused by the sharp contrast of his new music- aka the music he’s finally being allowed to write now that he’s broken away from his momager- but Steve makes her show him. 
She’s sure that she’s going to have to spend the next week rebuilding his confidence. 
And instead, Steve’s lip curls into a smile, and he grabs his songbook, telling her to find her guitar. 
Eddie wakes up five days after the interview to a huge flood of social media notifications, a dozen missed calls from the boys and his manager and his uncle. He ignores them all and goes to see what he fucked up this time. 
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Eddie opens Youtube and it’s at the top of his recommendations. The thumbnail is Steve and Robin sitting together with a guitar in her lap. The title of the video is just one word. 
Bullshit. 
This can’t be good. 
Eddie listens to it even though he doesn’t want to. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a coward. Not anymore. He listens to it because he has to know how much he’s fucked up. 
And then he listens to it again. And again. And again. 
It gets stuck in his head. All of it. Not just the song (which admittedly is pretty killer) but also hearing the flippantly mean words he had casually thrown at Steve being shoved back in his face. He had seen Steve as an abstract thing, just a symbol of everything wrong with the industry, not a real person. And now this actual human being that he’s hearing has turned all of that garbage into a song that feels more genuine then most of the music on the last two albums he wrote himself. A song that has heart, joy, and a strong current of pain underneath, especially in the bridge where Steve just sings the word bullshit over and over. 
There’s even more than that. He also sees the way Robin and Steve interact while they’re working the smiles, the jabs, the silly little way Steve bobs his head along as he listens to her play, the way they both collapse into giggles at the end as Steve directly quotes the part of the interview where Eddie said that Steve “is just another laundry basket devil trying to act like a big shot now that he’s too old for teen girls to moon over.” 
He can’t remember the last time he and the boys had that much fun making a song. 
Hell, Eddie even sees their apartment. It’s a pretty nondescript room, but he can see the wear and tear on the furniture, the cobwebs in the corners of the room, the slightly drooping houseplant with the name “Dart” lovingly painted on its pot. It feels like a home, and as Eddie looks around at the bedroom in his far too big mansion, he feels even more like a fraud. 
Eddie listens to the song on repeat for most of the morning. In the afternoon he finally answers everyone, and starts to put his plan into motion. 
By that evening he’s on the phone with Steve asking him and Robin to help Corroded Coffin write their next song. 
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shellem15 · 1 month
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Back on my Asmodeus and Ludinus are narrative parallels bullshit again. I've just been trying to put into words why, despite their massive similarities, I feel so differently about them. Like, Asmodeus is an objectively worse person than Ludinus Da'leth but I love him while Ludi's mere presence has me contemplating homicide.
Honestly, I think the biggest differentiator here is that Asmodeus is FUN. Like, he's being horrible but at least on some level he's having fun while doing so. It's the Disney villain effect! He's bad but he's also charismatic and funny (he's got jokes!) and has plots and schemes and is committed to the bit!
And he's tragic too! He's such a messy bitch and whenever he enters the room you know shit's about to get dramatic. Despite all his talk, you can see the longing he has for his siblings. He loves them so much! He loves them but his love burns and he refuses to accept his part in the breakdown of their relationship. It's so juicy!!! There's so much here!!!
Ludinus just doesn't have this! He's not fun, he's preachy. He's got reddit atheist vibes, fucking twitter accelerationist yapping in your replies about how fascism is a good thing, actually. He's so sweaty! Just a huge fucking nerd. JD Vance levels of negative rizz.
And its just like, yeah I guess Ludinus is tragic. On an objective level, I suppose. But its not entertaining, its just kinda pathetic. And I think part of that is because the man is so isolated he doesn't really have any relationships to give him tragic depth? There's Lilliana, and his weird projection with Imogen, and that's kind of it. Which, this loneliness could be something! It could be interesting! But it falls flat on the sympathy side for me because its entirely self-inflicted and just kinda gives off "male loneliness" vibes.
Like, other people survived Calamity. They're all dead now, but he also should be dead now so that’s a moot point. His foremost developmental years were spent with people who shared his experiences and understood his pain, and he *still* couldn't form connections and move on. At that point, his lack of relationships is just a skill issue.
Both of them ruin the party when they walk in, but with Asmodeus shit gets messy while with Ludinus it just gets annoying. Asmodeus I want to beat up and make him cry then hug him. Ludinus I just want to beat up, period.
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sehtoast · 2 months
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Protect Me (Homelander x gn!Reader, Powerswap!au)
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homelander!reader x human!John, nightmares, hurt/comfort | Fic Directory
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You sob on him.
It’s never happened before and neither of you particularly knows what to do about it. You’ve always been, well, you.  The Homelander is not someone who is breakable.  You’re not some weak kneed baby who can’t hold it together, who can’t swallow all the pain you’ve been put through and resist the urge to choke upon how badly it wants to spew out anyway.
He knows precious little about your life.  You’ve always wanted to keep it that way.  Nothing would hurt you more than to see those beautiful blues of his gazing at you as though you were anything less than who you’d built yourself up to be.  And yeah, sure, you’ve come home to him drenched in blood, no better than a wet dog needing someone to save it from the mess it’s made rolling in the mud– but this? 
You never meant for him to see this. You should've known better than to fall asleep. But you just… you felt so safe with your head on his chest and his heartbeat lulling you. 
You thank whatever pathetic excuse of a god is out there that you didn't blindly lash out at him when he woke you. The worst he got was the threat of glowing eyes that dissipated as soon as you recognized his voice.
But this..? God, there wasn't meant to be choking, sputtering sobs.  No fingers curling into your hair to tug painfully in an attempt to distract from how the void in your chest swallows you whole.  He shouldn’t be witnessing your snotty upper lip or the heaving of your chest.
This isn’t you.
But it is.
You refuse to touch him even as he holds you, cooing in your ear about how it’ll all be fine and that you’re safe with him– all the bullshit.  He is all you have, and you can’t for the fucking life of yourself defile him with your grip, can’t risk hugging him too tight or perhaps snatching away a hand and removing it entirely by accident because you’re so out of control.
You have to take it out on yourself.
He pulls you close, but you can’t do anything more than hide your face in the crook of his neck.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. You can tell me.”  John coos, fingers scritching softly at the nape of your neck.  You can smell the stress response raging inside of his body.  He reacts to your woe as if it were his own.  Cortisol.  Elevated blood pressure and pulse. Shaky breaths. 
You want to shove him away.  
Pity.
But you can’t, so you don’t.  Instead, the dam breaks and out comes everything.  The nightmares, the labs, the scientists, the bad room and the goddamn furnace. 
You could still feel its heat after you woke up gasping, desperately heaving against the unbreathable, scorching air.  Too hot, lungs too dry, skin on fire with not a single mark to show for it.  The way the doctors would crank the dial as they peered in at you like a zoo animal, uncaring no matter how much you screamed.  
Unbothered even when you’d stop.
You’re not even sure your words are coherent.  You’ve wept each one into his neck, still too afraid to peek and find him looking at you differently.  Your nails dig into the skin of your bare arms.
“It’s too– I can’t– I still feel it–” And there's no rhyme or reason for why you do. Not even now, when rehashing it restores that blistering burn beneath your skin that radiates deep into the marrow of your bones, does it make any sense.  You shiver and shake against him.
It’s all you’re good for.
He shifts to the side, fumbling with something on the nightstand, but does not release you.  “Y’feel that?”  John asks.  “Fan’s on now.  Nice and cool, okay?”
The first gusts kiss your back and you practically flinch at the ghostly touches.  It’s a shock to your system and almost burns in its own right, even with his hand trailing up and down your back, fingers smoothing over the curve of your spine, nails lightly dragging in that way he knows you simply adore.
John leans back onto the bed, bringing you with him.  “You’re not there, babe.  I promise.”  He murmurs.  He takes you by the hand, unfurling the grip you’ve got on yourself to press kisses to your knuckles.  “We’re here.  My place.  In bed.”  He tells you, voice as sweet as honey and thick with the remnants of sleep that hadn’t quite been shocked from his system.  “You’re safe.”
He’s said it a million times now.  
“You’re safe and I love you so, so much.”  He rasps through the tightness of his throat, through the little sob that finally breaks through whatever restraints he’d placed on it to make it this far. Knowing that he’s taken it all to heart guts you in the worst way.
John’s legs tangle between yours and pull you close, as if to make sure there wasn’t a single inch of you left unprotected from his embrace.  He holds you even through his own shivers, completely exposed to the chilly breeze after having kicked the covers to the end of the bed.  Anything to draw you away from the illusion of heat, anything to spare you one more moment of agony.
By the time your heart rate simmers down from its erratic thumps and the blistering burn of the furnace is no longer digging beneath your skin, the only sound to be heard is his chattering teeth despite how valiantly he tries to hide his own discomfort.
If he were anyone else, you wouldn’t care at all.  But he’s not just anyone.  He’s not some casual fuck or one of the many who have dangled love over your starved maw.  He’s your Johnny, your greatest love, the kindest man you’ve ever known and the brightest light you’ve ever stumbled upon in this world.  You would topple nations to guarantee his happiness.
He reassures you that he’s fine when you scoff and yank the blankets back up to cover the both of you. 
“No, no, no–” he rattles. “S’fine, I promise.  I don’t want you to–”
You cut him off with a kiss.  You meant only for it to be a single drawn out peck to his lips, but you find that the deeper it becomes, the better you can convey all that you need.
Your love.  Your appreciation.  How fucking much you care.  Everything words fail to deliver.
All while you continue pulling up layer after layer until his lower lip ceases its chilled quivering between yours and his body stills from its shivers.  You don’t untangle yourself from his hold, nor does he move away from yours.  Stranger yet, even with the nightmares still fresh in your mind, the heat you find yourself enveloped by now is far from one that burns.
His flesh against yours, the warmth emanating between you, his heated breaths gasped against your lips– it’s all one big balm that soothes every ache and pain into nothing more than the distant memory it should be.
Neither one of you lets go, not even when sleep settles over your restless minds and pulls you to other worlds.
This time, you dream of him.  Of your Johnny in his cute little sweaters, of how he springs out of his chair at work to throw himself into your arms, of how he comes to your penthouse after his shifts are up just to see you.  You dream of his lips upon your cheek as you dance among the clouds, blue eyes taking you in as if you were the most magnificent sight they’ve ever held.
And when you wake?
Those same oceanic eyes twinkle with a smile that is simply all for you.  They don’t look at you differently.  They don’t judge you or make you feel weak for having told him of your horrors.  True to the nature of his very existence, your Johnny does something so wonderfully special with just one look.
He makes you feel safe.  He makes you feel protected.
He makes you feel loved.
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