#and i realised that even tho i hate them they are still alive

[beemintty]

the rain finally came and the small creatures came out to soak in the coolness when all it has been is hot and dry.

these small creatures, pests to me and yet i still try not to hit them with my car.

these little pests survived the heat just like me, i shouldn't take their little lives away the moment they find bliss.

i have no right.

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but like Peter Parker reincarnated as dick grayson angst

[hotluncheddie]

t4t chubby autistic steddie GO

i have been thinking about this (nsfw from twitter!!) art lately so i am here with u <3

even tho i get nervous to write trans characters, idk why, i just don't wanna mess it up i think

but im doing my best!! bc autistic and gender exploration are very lovely wonderful cozy subjects so i'm gonna focus on that

this is such a string of ideas but - 4 u <3 :3c

Stevie leaves with Eddie and Robin, taking their trust fund and leaving their parents to it - too the rest of their lives - without her. Like the Harringtons always hoped, really.

Stevie doesn't need them, the money is useful but they offer nothing more to her.

She's able to buy an apartment. In Chicago. With her loves. They learn how to live. How to live together. How to be at peace.

There's big bright widows in the main space, with light and air and the sunset. The two bedrooms are cozy and warm and it's a place for them all to grow.

'There's chips here.' Eddie says. They have a matching day off and she's trying to practice what it is to do nothing, to truly rest. Eddie helps, by being there, keeping her still with his hands and his love.

But Stevie tenses up, she was snacking, has been snacking, trying to learn her hunger signals better - what they feel like to her. It was always a rule not to east in her room, not to eat between meals. But she was hungry, she had a snack.

'I'm not judging, I'm saying so we remember to take it out next time one of us goes to the kitchen.' Eddie says, coming back from changing the tape, kissing her. Kissing her and kissing her.

Stevie relaxes.

'You've gained a little weight.' Robin says, laying on Stevies thighs on the couch, crocheting while Stevie watches sports and rubs her knuckles agains her teeth, twirling a strand of Robins hair in her fingers.

She looks down at her best friend. Robin looks back at her.

Robin smiles.

'It's good. You look more like you than you ever have before.'

Stevie smiles back. Tries not to cry.

Stevie letting herself change, relax. Unlearn those eating habits that helped her feel in control. Instead allowing herself to enjoy, and eat the things she wants to, the things she likes.

Eats pasta every night for a month and doesn’t feel bad about it. Doesn’t force herself to eat kale because she hates it, spinach is good enough. She is good enough.

Eddie gets little chubbier, in this new life. After recovering from nearly dying. Explains to Stevie in his long lilting way that he likes it, feels more protected, like his skin isn’t so fragile now.

He’s never liked his body but now he truly knows how short life is, and, maybe he can learn to like this new one. In this new place, in the love that surrounds him.

Plus, the bats destroyed his chest. So without that in the way, no longer lurking and potentially ruining his day. He realises he can shed that background fixation he always seemed to have with thinness. The idea that it would make him look more masculine or more androgynous. Curves were for girls and Eddie was not. That.

But now, now, who fucking cares. He’s alive. He needs to eat.

Steve feels a finger trailing over her hip, dipping into the band of her underwear, skimming over her crack and the the ridges of stretch marks that lead up to her waist.

'So so pretty' Eddie whispers, and it's filled with so much awe, so much grace, so much reverence and love.

Stevie shivers, feeling endless and grounded and like her body is here and hers and everything she ever dreamed of because it exists now.

She puts her hand under her loose shirt, cupping her belly. Skin still sleep warm and the energy of her palm seems to cover her whole body in warmth, in light and softness. Tinging and bright. Still being traced lightly by the love of her life. But being loves by her own hands, now, too.

She exists. And finally, everything is beautiful.

[rubra-wav]

SFW Vox x Reader head anon request where the reader was his nibling on Earth but he died when they were very little. They ended up very lost and numb due to the death and found the only time they felt anything was in a fight so they became a bouncer, which is actually what led to them dying at 28. Reader doesn't realize who Voc is until they hear him speak.

Vox x Former relative reader headcanons

A/N This is a very hyperspecific request, so I hope you understand I've made it a little more general. 🙏

General plotline and idea is kept tho - bit vaguer, however.

Reader was his favourite relative btw, if this man saw just some random family member come up to him I think he'd just swat them away faster than light ngl.

Cw: Sfw, platonic obv 💀, gn reader

- When you showed up before Vox, he didn't recognise you at all either. He'd died when you were young, and when demons die they don't exactly come back looking 'normal'.

- So when you show up before him after seeking him to speak for several weeks - sending letters to meet him in person like your life depended upon it, claiming you had something very important to discuss with him, he doesn't recognise the sinner who clearly died while enthralled in extreme violence before him.

- When the people who escort you into the room leave, leaving you two alone at his request, Vox's first instinct is to interrogate you.

- He immediately assumed you had some sort of blackmail on him and were trying to play games to extort money from him or something.

- But, when you're lunging forward at him to wrap your arms around him while calling him an extremely specific nickname he hadn't heard in decades, he's at a complete loss in disbelief.

- When his initial shock wears off and he realises who you were to him, he doesn't know how to react properly and sends you away, saying he needed a bit to think and he'll contact you again.

- The conflict between his past self that he was when he knew you, as compared to the self he is now, has him absolutely reeling.

- It wasn't exactly foreign for him to come across people who knew him from his shows when alive, but not somebody who had actually known him as a family member - much less one who still thought highly of him after everything he'd done to end up there.

- When he finally calms the hell down, he tells you not to tell anybody you two are related for your own safety (and his own image), and that he will help provide whatever you need.

- He'd be distant as all hell from you, but would still want you to be safe. Both of these are due to him having a particular soft spot for you even now.

- Would probably consciously make an effort to try be an asshole to make you not want to see him- then feel kinda bad when you still want to see him and obviously still very much love him. 💀

- Even if you want to spend time around him really bad, he'd probably not give in most times.

- if he does spend time with you though down the line, he's just screaming inside the whole time because he actually gives a fuck in the same way he did back in his life and that's terrifying to him after living in hell. You don't get to his standing with caring about many people.

- Would be super paranoid during the whole thing as well about someone somehow finding out (especially the Vees because he'd never hear the end of it and if Val ever tried to flirt with you he'd probably go apeshit despite his on and off thing with him. )

- If anyone ever saw you were a soft spot to him, that would instantly make you a target. And, because it bruises his ego to know he still gives this much of a fuck about a relative who he hadn't seen in decades.

Writing this made me realise just how funny Vox would be as one of those bitter adoptive father figures who didnt sign up for this shit but just very begrudgingly love their 'child' and fucking hate themselves over it. 💀

[silly-sobber-69]

Barbaros Barrabam headcanons because I need them:

1. He doesn't hate humans-

→He doesn't actually hate humans despite it being his job of hunting them, he does find them interesting, how their minds work and what they do, he finds it entertaining enough

But he tries to not over do it because he is still gonna kill, capture and sell them

It's a bit like being an actual hunter yk, he's just killing them for his job, not out of spite

I think if he was in a really really good mood he might even exchange some words with the door man

2. On the Autism spectrum

→ self explanatory he's on the high functioning side tho

3. He has a fascination with humans

→ adding on to number 1, I think he has a odd hyper fixation on them xD he likes their concept as a species, he probably was reading their anatomy up to kill em but ended up getting derailed into culture ect and that's why he's so good at hiding, because he knows how to act the part

Probably has some misconceptions on em tho

4. He's stitch coded, from lilo and stitch

5. He's fuzzy got a think layer of fuzz to him, that only shows when he's puffed up angry like a cat or just had a bath and dried up

7. He has a tiny turtle tail that works like a dog tail, he probably tries to raise it out of instinct but realises his turtle tail ain't scaring anybody, he's probably untucked his shirt a couple of times to hide his tiny tail when he's excited, probably wags like a dog when he's happy

8. He has horns on his elbows and claws, and his horns everywhere get a tiny bit more bigger and jagged when he's pissed

9. Head over heels in love with lilitu, she likes him back <3

However anazareth doesn't get what lilitu sees in him, but he makes her happy and hasn't exactly done anything wrong so she can't do much except judge him. However they have bonded over sharing a love for tattoos and also he gives them a big discount on humans

10. Probably owns a human wet shop. Where you get fresh meat or humans whole and alive for whatever purpose you have in mind

(a wet shop is a shop where animals are kept alive, can be sold alive, or slaughtered after being bought to ensure freshness)

11. ABYSMAL CACTUS

12. Resting bitch face

→ He's not upset or angry he just has a resting bitch face by default

[yelling-space]

Children of light/darkness

it wouldn't let me change the txt 2 black so enkis pink cuz i hate him

Couldnt stop thinking about that one stupid throw away line in fagcats monologuing so i decided to apply it to the rest of the gang becuse i can 4 context i'm going to assume the ratio of children of light:darkness is similar to that a 1:45 type thing. (includes a few hcs.)

  — "Living humans are divided into two groups, yes? There are children of light. Those destined to walk under the bright sun. Those people do well in all hardships of life. They have dear humans who they want to return to. Even in the darkest hour, they can feel the warmth of their loved ones in their heart and gain extra courage from that.” - Pocketcat

Obviously The Girl is a child of light since it’s stated in-game by the New Gods. A pure child, a blank slate birthed from the darkest pits of human creation. The literal embodiment of fear and hunger, a small light shrouded in darkness without even a glimmer of hope. A child who's been robbed of love;the first kind gesture she ever received was being freed from a cage by a man who smiled at her like she wasn't a horrific monster. Yet despite all her hesitation she slowly finds herself gaining comfort in his presence, enough to scrounge a little closer and find herself enjoying the sound his voice,a man that never stop talking even tho she doesn't speak back, doesn't quite understand why he shares his food with her yet gobbles it down before he can try taking it back the second she realises its safe to eat. And then he gifts her the doll. And she's not really sure what to do or what all these overwhelming feelings inside are but the raggedy thing never leaves her side as she trails him like a moth to flame.

Cahara's a child of light, he burns slow and soft. A little flicker of light in the darkness that'll last in the wind because it has the fuel to keep going and can light up other people. He’s a people person, a social butterfly who people are drawn to and ends up making connections wherever he goes. Despite everything he's been through and all the horrors and harsh realities of life he's faced, he's still able to find joy and a love for life. Quite literally one the only thing holding the group together and reason half these people even start to tolerate each other.

“Hooo~ you do? This is the most surprising! I feel like so many people lose the sight of happiness once they grow out of their naive little views of the world they had as younglings. But perhaps it is possible to feel like that, even as someone as old as you.” - Pocketcat

Ragnvaldr’s a child light. He burns bright and fast like a strip of magnesium, his light comes in bursts. Rage comes as quick as it goes and isn't a reliable source of fuel but shines so bright when it burns it almost hurts to witness.

His light’s too hot to get close to when he's burning, and therefore it doesn't get 'shared' before it's gone unlike Cahara’s who serves to light others over coaxing his own flame. Yet despite losing his family he still carries the love his people held for him in his heart, letting it fuel his fire even though he knows he'll never be able to return to them. Yet despite losing his family, Ragnvaldr still carries their memories alive in his heart and never loses sight of the happiness that was robbed from him so instead he keeps their spirits close while he seeks vengeance.

It's for that same reason The Girl and Ragnvaldr are both attracted to and seek out light despite being lights of their own. They both require others to fuel their flame and keep them afloat vs someone whose light is soft and nurturing more like Cahara’s, whose light draws others towards him. Is bright enough to warm your hands in the midst of a cold winter’s storm yet too weak to spark the light of rebellion and bring about change in the world.

 “In the opposite end of the spectrum, there are children of darkness. Those humans are often driven to depression and sorrow because of life's peculiar ways.But they have learned how to live with those feelings. In fact, they have grown to love the ever-pressing darkness within. Those humans are able to draw energy from darkness, they are not dependent on other people. They only need darkness, their old friend.So, humans of light and darkness... Which one are you?” - Pocketcat

It's how D'arce can be born with a silver spoon in her mouth and want for nothing as she gets older, pursuing what she thinks is her dream, leaving behind her luxurious life and continuing to strive higher and higher for her 'goals' – only to constantly be miserable despite it all. No matter what she gains or what she gives up, just never being satisfied, feeling like she's stagnating and making nothing herself despite all the accolades and medals and milestones she's achieved.

It's the same reason Enki can be born in darkness, wanting nothing more then the endless pursuit of knowledge – forced to eat his younger siblings, forced to claw his way out of a well, forced to eat bugs in order to survive, forced to backstab his twin sister, only ever finding twisted satisfaction in a rare moment of joy when he burns his family and the place he once called home into ash – feels so comfortable drowned in misery.

They’re both on completely different ends the moral and social spectrum, yet they both closed off their hearts to the world and poured themselves into their own goals. A way to close off their feelings and shut away from the rest of the world. They both just sorta look at Cahara and Ragnvaldr smiling, laughing and simply ,,,,enjoying existing in each other's company. And they just kinda stare in disbelief at this light in front of them, almost unable to actually believe what they're actually seeing, let alone comprehend how they're even able to exist so freely in a place like this. It doesn't make sense. They're all trapped in this horrific hellscape of a dungeon with strangers they've never met, barely surviving the passing hours with their mess of skill sets and feeble attempts to hold onto whatever draining sense of morality and justice they had before coming down here. And yet these two are smiling and cracking jokes. Talking like they'd been friends for years even though they barely know each other. they just seem so ,,, so,,, bright. no matter how much Enki and D’arce become familiar with the sight, they feel like they're intruding on something; they shouldn't be allowed to see this. 

It's something they've already come to terms within their own lives, after all. It's a feeling people like them don't need. They don't deserve it. Yet. something about the sight is just so warm and comforting they can’t quite bring themselves to tear their eyes from it. 

“Since you were a child of darkness, I imagine you agree when I say that we don't get the luxury of happiness.We only know brief joy every now and then, but even that is getting more rare every day.” - Pocketcat

Considering how both Enki and Ragnvaldr kinda blur the line a bit when it comes to their actions and motives; how Ragnvaldr can be argued to go 'darker' while enki goes 'lighter' despite their soul compositions (in my amazing  awful timeline of events at least.)

It’s how D'arce, a knight of one the most prestigious and well respected groups in the kingdom, borne of nobility, who grew up comfortably, never having to scrape by is constantly shaped in misery and loneliness, can never truly happy no matter how high she climbs in the world vs Cahara having known nothing but constant suffering and struggles, is still able to be happy and smile with people he cares for and find people that love him despite their line of work or less than fortunate situation. He's able to befriend people in every corner of the world he travels to; there's people who care for him and want to be around him. Even though he's experienced the hardship of life first hand he's still able to look at the world with just so much love for life and she just doesn't get how. D’arce just mystified by watching the fact that two men she knows, born into poverty or into nothing at all, scraping by, living minimal, nomadic, no stable environment or home - for Cahara, nobody to call his own until adulthood - just completely shocked by the fact that they can both smile, joke and seem to be just. happy. content with what they've managed to make for themselves.

And it's not as if D'arce hasnt made anything of herself; she’s clearly put in a lot of effort to get to where she is even if she came from an advantageous background, she had family, she had friends (singular, Le'garde, so maybe ok not even 1 friend but shhh),,, has no idea what she did wrong or what she's doing wrong to continue being so miserable in life.

They all have blood on their hands but she’s yet to realise the cause of it is what makes them different from each other.

Doesn't get how Cahara can sit there and joke about the other ways he made cash to get by when he was younger with a smile on his face. Or how Ragnvalder can sit there and laugh at Cahara horrible jokes after losing everything he’s ever held dear. The way they can chatter on about nothing for hours at a time or talk about their partners with just so much love in their voices knowing they'll probably never see them again. (Maybe even wondering if someone will ever talk about her like that with just so much shear adoration in their voice and this ‘swept off their feet’ look in their eyes, but also i can see that not even crossing her mind at the same time )

Enki and D’arce just sat there a lil bewildered watching the first people they've ever seen be genuinely happy in their lives even though they have almost nothing to their name, have lost everything and yet they can still smile and laugh with each other in a place like this???

They are just so confused by rag&cahara’s chemistry because they themselves don't know how to utilise humour and light-heartedness as ways to cope with the tragedy in their lives, having chosen to instead turn their focuses outward. For example, enlightenment and study & knighthood and an entire other persona, as a way to distract themselves from the struggles in their lives and unintentionally bring the focus away from their internal darkness.

It's also interesting to observe the parallels of duos such as Enki&Cahara and D'arce&Rag to, since Cahara serves to kind of draw people out of their shells and show them light, while Ragnvaldr's light could be seen as something turned into heat and ignite the spark of retribution and spur on the need to go on. While it doesn't make D'arce and Ragnvaldr very close, I can see how it would maybe inspire something in her and propel her forward in times of discouragement. (Whether that's out of admiration for rags ability to be able to still go on after everything thats happend or if it’s from the desire to find Le’gard before Rag fucking gets him☠️is up to you.)

Cahara’s used to sneaking around even though he's very bright, and so resorts to coaxing and persuasion, whereas Ragnvaldr is very obviously used to being a leader figure and just kind of 'shines' on people. I'm not sure how well those methods obviously work on people like Enki and D'arce (lowkey think they might be more beneficial if they swapped, but that's just makes the fact i tend to default to enki&cahara + d’arce&rag funnier), but the fact that they're watching it happen at all is so rare for them let alone the horrifying moment that occurs for the two of them when they realise they actually enjoying having these idiots around (each other included).

(This awful epiphany mainly applies to Enki. He’d rather be sacrificed again then admit he cares for any of these idiots, nevermind Cahara specifically. I don't think it really hits D’arce until they’re out of the dungeon if they make it and she doesn't have their company anymore.)

After all, the world was cruel to them so they became cruel back. That  probably affects the way they’d view/interact with Cahara/Rag. Enki especially would have a hard time trying to grasp how they are both able to be so,,,happy,, after going through so much, considering the fact he also went through hell and thus chose to close his heart to the world. Yet here he is, watching these two men who have come from nothing and lost everything who have been nothing but repeatedly wronged by life, talk about how beautiful it is and he just. Doesn't. Get. It. He went through abandonment, being pit against his own sibling to see who deserved to still breath in their parents eyes. He had to resort to more than questionable things in order to survive, he stabbed his own sister in the back and burnt his parents alive after crawling out the pit they tried to bury him in. Hell, he had to eat his own siblings/bugs for crying out loud. and the way he went about it makes sense to him. He's protecting himself. He's putting his interests into unemotional things that can't lash out and hurt him again - things that he can safely invest time and effort into, knowing it will fulfil him in some way, without the pressure of it having to impress someone or be worthy enough to try to seek praise from those around him. It's totally protective, wanting to keep himself from that same hurt, wanting to become powerful and knowledgeable enough to keep himself from being hurt ever again. Right?

It's almost a childish but at the same time totally jaded, adult-ified view of what he probably wanted as a child. Bitter and spiteful since all the while, and hell even his necro tendencies probably have something to do with wanting to be in control of and listened to by something for once in his life.

He most likely also shares a lot of The Girl's wonder in the fact that, despite all the awful shit that's happened and the terrible place they're in now, Cahara and Ragnvaldr are taking a good damn while to break under the darkness that's trying to eat them alive. And even if it's terrible how it manifests, could even argue that Ragnvaldr hallucinating his wife is him retreating back to a better time full of light to cope, similar to Cahara constantly going "oh, this is how i used to gain money, its nothing new lol” when Enki tries to beat around the bush and ask if Cahara’s even okay with,,,, this and just ends up being an answer he's not really sure how he feels about.

Enki: how do you do that Cahara: do what ? Enki: just,,, exist, and seem happy about it Cahara: well, existing is quite a beautiful thing, wouldn't you agree ? Enki: Cahara internally: [he doesn't know that finding worth in life is pointless] vs 

D'arce: how do you do that Ragnvaldr: do what? D'arce: keep going onward despite the weight of everything youve lost Ragnvaldr: i've been freed of the binds that kept me from avenging them, that's how D'arce: Ragnvaldr internally: [she doesn't know that weight will stay forever]

ldk why but I really like the idea of them all having similar views but completely opposite interpretations of something. They're all looking at the exact same sunset but seeing something entirely different, both affected by their light and darkness alignments but also just their individual life experiences that shaped their world views.

I can't find it rn but also there's some dialogue from Nosramus about seeing him in the dark; if you’re playing as Cahara/Ragnvaldr, it's a simple “oh your the person from ealier”. but if you’re playing as D’arce/Enki; the response is “the one creeping around in the shadow ealier” witch makes me giggle cuz ofc those 2 be finding comfort in the shadows and scrurrying around like rats in it

“Hooo~! Very good, very good. I love honest words, even when they hurt me. I say that now... But I'm probably going to feel really awful later on. But don't you worry about that. Really. I have grown to love this feeling of being rejected.”

-Pocketcat

Bonus Daan mention :

Daan’s a child darkness both in how it paroles the girl as children destined for greatness by the gods + both more attracted to “Light”(eg elise & cahara both children light & attract others 2 them) like moths 2 a flame then actually attract people to him

Being a child of darknesses also link him 2 fagcat + part the reason pocketcats so interested in the fact “someone like him” was chosen by the gods(much 2 daans dismay)

hes is literally drowning in misery. Thinks of his life as a curse he's forced 2 live threw with the thought things could be different/better ever crossing his mind 

Much like d’arce &enki never rly know the feeling of being loved & wanted baring teh short time he was with his wife (rip elies)

He has never known a peaceful happy day, mans just straight up NOT ALLOWED nice things & those he has get ripped away from him in the cruellest ways possible & having said lost thing repeatedly rubbed in his face (eg dead wife ,her coming back as stitches + fagcat never letting him know peace )

[coycorry]

I am not pretending to be the best character designer ever BUT

As a main villain Bleylock deserved much better appearance than ugly pyjamas they gave to him.

I know that general style of the show was quite simple, but even simple design could work well because of it’s colours or shapes, or because it suited well with some characters like Norata, who was a boring dad and wanted to live his boring life. I respect that. But Bleylock is not just random boring dude, in fact, I think he’s actually quite opposite: a man that enjoys his rich bitch status and pretty things that reminds everyone about power and influence he has, like that random huge portrait of himself in the office.

So what I expect is “I could buy you and your entire family tree just because I want to” kind of attitude that immediately switches with “but I prefer violence”. I don’t want some tragic af backstory, just a villain who is hungry for power, influence, money and also queer coded as hell because of the only (2) thing that he can’t have and that shit is just making him crazy. Sonny Blackbones makes him INSANE because he’s not afraid of him. He will never obey, he’s hard to read and manipulate, hard to catch because he’s a smart motherf- strategist (and certainly not hot as hell), and they’re playing “catch me if you can” for years now. I know that we all know that, right, but why to not show it through the design, make it a little more complementary…

I would love to see this rivalry more personal (?) for them. Yes, they definitely weren’t friends when they were working on metaflux, but just to imagine if they spent quite a lot time together, so it probably helped them to get to know each other. We know that Bleylock was visiting Lobnor and I’son few times (also he was wearing damn good outfits back then💅). But what if instead of this, he’d actually stuck with them on the same space station for years by the order of Technoid. Like back in those days he only was gaining his power and influence, building a relationships with Duke Maddox, so he couldn’t disobey, even tho he hated it and were bitching about it 24/7. Ofc on the moment of 1st cup he still cannot act against Maddox openly, but he’s now having more power as Technoid’s General, as well as freedom to do what he wants, without fear of being catched.

Maybe Sonny and Bleylock tried to become allies when they were stuck at that space station, until they understood that they had completely opposite views on that metaflux project. And of course, it was too late when they realised how danger they are for each other. Imagine them having a poker nights together sometimes, because bleylock was so bored in there (and because ‘honestly I’son you are the only person who seems to have at least some talent in this game, on that damn station’). And (secretly) Bleylock admires Sonny’s intelligence so much and wants to have him by his side. But this is impossible, because Sonny Blackbones is a rightfull man, for god’s sake, and will never give him a metaflux. Not voluntarily at least. Or alive… That’s why he’s so dangerous, and that’s why he should be destroyed.

[ankoku-teion]

I’m one of your mutuals, I voted on the poll, so it’s slightly unfair that I get a second vote. That being said, I like all 3 of them a lot, my personal favourite is Lily. While I love a reference to any bit of Greek mythology, especially Cassandra, her fate was quite tragic (Not that Lilith’s fate was sweet either, but still). I can really understand your attachment to your first D&D character though, even though I haven’t played (also, it’s quite telling that your first character was a woman [I assume]). But in my personal opinion, the other options should better. It’s still only your decision in the end.

Attention Anon

Sarah was my first character who was a woman. I played 3 other male characters before her.

Yarny. - a halfling bard, in late middle age who loved stories and collected folklore from everywhere he went. He was my first ever.

Red - a middle aged dwarven merchant who got side-tracked and wound up on a quest when he was supposed to be returning home.

And a young elf shadow sorcerer who's name I can't remember.

But Yarny and the elf were both DMPCs because I was running the campaign, so I didn't really get to play them.

Sarah was different. I was playing on a discord server with strangers because my friends weren't available for real DnD. So I was able to put time and energy into fleshing her out.

She was a warlock/fighter who grew up on the streets, had a complicated friendship with a guardsman, and was forcibly adopted by an abusive drunk who just wanted her for free labour.

Turns out the man who adopted her is a fence who traffics in stolen goods, antiques, and questionable magic items.

One day she accidentally knocks over this valuable ancient pot and smashes it, unleashing an ancient devil that was trapped inside. The devil was weakened by it's long confinement so it latched onto her. She unknowingly made a deal with it and it granted her warlock powers in exchange for living in her head.

So now she has a grouchy, hateful, resentful voice in the back of her mind constantly passing commentary on everything she does, criticising and gaslighting her, telling her everyone wants to use her and nobody else can ever love her. The thing is, it also gives her solid advice that keeps her alive and safe. And she's too young and naive to tell the difference.

The devil is called Malthus and he's very much a metaphor for my depression, among other things.

Sarah herself is saddled with a lot of repression, and while Malthus constantly shits on her, he's also the one pushing her to try new things. Mostly so he can live vicariously through her, and then guilt her for it. The two have a complex, toxic, co-dependent relationship.

Most of this was not deliberate at the time, but something I created by accident and only discovered by playing the character.

Playing her on that server was the first time I was ever gendered as a woman because the other people couldn't tell me apart from my character. I realised immediately that being called she/her didnt upset me the way I thought it probably should have, and I made the conscious decision not to correct them, and accepted the pronouns. That was way back, like 5 years ago. And I still play with some of the same people.

Sadly Sarah had to be retired, it's a happy ending tho. Her fiancé was kidnapped and she left on a quest to go save him. They eventually settled down and had 3 kids.

One of my current characters is her granddaughter, Saccharine. 😋

[nonuggetshere]

Hi girl, I've actually been thinking about things leading up to the vessel plan in FaaF

Personally I like to believe that PK got the idea from his foresight (literally haunted by the visions). It's been showing him void, so much suffocating, overwhelming void, and the brilliant, cold, pale white (yet faint) light containing it. His child, undeniably his child, sitting upon his throne - but they're wrong, twisted, a being of void. That's where he got the idea, how he realised he can make something stronger than a kingsmould to contain her.

It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And it ate him up alive. Can you imagine the horror he felt when he realised what he must do? Can you imagine what he felt when he had to tell his root?

She's wanted kids for so long, with him being on the fence, leaning towards no. He didn't believe he was going to be a good father, not now, it was never the right time, maybe in the future. But he could never promise her that and even though she so wanted to be a mother she never pushed it, having children was just not something to push and she didn't want her wyrm to force himself for her.

So asking her for her assistance felt...depraved and cruel, he hated to do this. She's always wanted children and he was now asking her to have them only to make hollow husks out of them, for no other reason but to treat them like tools. It twisted him up inside but it had to be done.

And when he came to her saying he had a solution she was initially happy and didn't understand why he looked so gloom. Wasn't this a good thing? He took her to his workshop and explained, not even being able to look her in the eyes.

And, although pained, her smile never left as she gently placed a hand on his cheek and made him look at her. She agreed readily, if it was what must be done then so be it. She was his wife and companion and she will follow him through this too.

Neither of them expected that having so many clutches would impact them this much. They knew the weight of the decision but in reality it was so much harder than what they've imagined.

It was hard for her to part with their first clutch. The rest would come easier with time, they were all loved but parting with them was a must, but the first one... She's gotten so attached, and it felt shameful to admit because she knew their purpose.

"Can't we keep at least one?"

"Oh, my root..."

"I know what you'll say, but..."

"A plague is not a time to raise a child," He looked at the pristine white egg in her hands and his heart ached, "...They would be a target..."

"...You agreed to assist the Deepnest queen. Won't that child be a target as well? A full-blooded child of gods would have even more resistant to the infection-"

"I know, my root, but they would not be immune, and there are many different ways to hurt a defenceless child. The situation with Herrah is an unique one, she knows the risks and is willing to take them, but if it were up to me-"

"They would not be defenceless with us-"

"My root."

"..."

"You know we can't. Not now. What life would that child have, constantly fearing for their life, constantly being cooped up by us, not being allowed the freedoms a healthy child should have...what kind of life is that?"

"...I know...I'm sorry, it's just-"

"Don't be. Don't ever apologise for something like this, my heart, I...I know... I understand..." He gently laid a hand on top of hers, "I'm sorry too..."

I think what Herrah asked of him felt like salt in the wound.

It pained him to ask her for her permission, after his last request no less. It almost felt like he was mocking her.

But she didn't see it that way, and she readily agreed again. She was always a close part in this, he wouldn't agree to anything else, she had to be a part of this arrangement or he wouldn't let it happen. She even promised him that if Herrah decided to make him a part of this child's life she will help him raise them and love them as if they were her own.

But it still felt so cruel.

I think, even though she agreed to it and assisted, seeing Herrah pregnant with his child would...hurt. She thought she was ready, she could handle it, and if that child was in his life she would help and love them as her own, but...it still hurt so deeply, in a way she could never describe. And he could feel it, that pang of hurt and jealousy when her eyes fell to the Deepnest queen's swollen stomach. Why could she bear his child, when theirs had to be doomed to this fate?

He'd find her once, crying in their room, and she'd tried to apologise but he hushed her. He understood, she needn't apologise. He should be the one begging for her forgiveness.

"...I don't hold it against you, or her, or that child, I just...I don't know why, I..."

"I understand my love. I'm so sorry, for everything, you don't deserve this..."

"Don't speak to me as if I had no hand in all of this, I knew what your plan entailed and I agreed wholeheartedly. I'm not some poor victim, my wyrm."

"...still, it..." He feel silent for a moment, "...Once it's all over, once the infection is gone..." He looked back up at her and stroked her cheek, "We can have ano- a child. We could-"

"My wyrm," Her voice was stern yet gentle in a way, "I don't want you forcing yourself into this."

"I'm not. I promise. I...I've been thinking about this for a long while. I want this child, I want to start a family with you. There is nothing I'd love more."

"My love..."

"Once it's safe we can try again, I promise. We'll have as many as your heart desires, a big lovely family."

She scooped him up and he wrapped his arms around her, pressing their foreheads together.

"And each of them will be loved more than anything in this world. I promise you that."

She couldn't help but smile, "Hmm, as many as my heart desires, you say~?"

"...Okay maybe a little less, lest you turn me into a breeding factory."

She couldn't help but laugh at that and pulled him in closer, "Oh, but how lovely you'd look..."

"My root please-"

"I'm just teasing, my love~"

The day he returned with the vessel was another hard one in their lives. She got so used to just feeling cold disappointment from him whenever he headed for the Abyss that when she felt this strong surge of emotions she instantly knew and her stomach twisted into knots.

Roughly an hour or two later he came to her, in her little recluse in the palace. It felt relieving when he finally showed up, she could hardly relax with that constant nagging feeling at the back of her head, the anticipation of seeing th- it.

"My root."

"I take it your search is complete? You found your pure vessel?"

"...Yes. I thought you should be the first one to see it."

"Well, let's see it then."

The king turned back towards the entrance, "Pure Vessel, to my side."

A tiny masked little thing peeked from behind the corner then made its way to stand beside the king, its movements a little clumsy which was to be expected from such small, stubby little thing. The lady kneeled in front of it, studying it close.

"It's smaller than I expected..."

"From my examination it seems they're a little over five years old, must have hatched only pretty recently."

"You already gave it a mask?"

"It's a bit clunky, but it'll do until I make it a pernament one."

She reached over and undid the straps holding the mask in place before pulling it away, the little vessel squinting visibly at her in her light.

"...It's quite photosensitive, I'm afraid."

"Unserstandable," She gently lifted their chin up to get a better look. Her heart ached, it looked so much like them... "Its birthplace isn't the brightest place in the kingdom, in all fairness." She put its mask back on, gently spinning the vessel around to fasten the straps back around its head.

She stood back up, almost amused at the fact that the vessel stayed in the exact same position as she left it in, turned away from her. She used one of her roots to gently turn it back around before looking back at her husband, her face falling.

"I appreciate the gesture, my wyrm, but this seed is not of me anymore. I've done my part in creating it, but I am not its mother, I do not wish to be a part in the rest of its training."

"...I understand, my root. Well, I— should better be going, I've called for the dreamers to meet us and they should be here any moment now."

"I'll see you later tonight, my love."

"I'll see you... Vessel, after me."

She sat back down, watching as the tiny thig stumbled after its fa-...king. Her heart ached as she looked away. It was going to be much harder than she expected.

[sleepy-vix]

just finished the burning god ^^👍 what the fuck

spoilers below

fuck i was a fool to pray that kitay would live

also i had a feelign tjat rin woulg kill her self in the end and im SO INFINITELY GLAD that nezha didnt die in that cave water thing following that monster/dragon, but FUCK I DIDNT WANT THIS ENDING

WHAT THE FUCK RF KUANG

HOW DID U EVEN DREAM UP THIS MONSTROSITY

im so glad that nezha at least lives but actually is that any better than death???? poor boy never wanted to be a ruler. UGHHH I JUST REALISED KUANG ADDED THAT CHAPTER WHERE VAISRA ASKS NEZHA IF HE WANTED TO BE A RULER TO HURT US EVEN MORE

fuck you kuang

you twisted genius

nezha never wanted to be a ruler. his father never cared about him, he was tortured by the stupid dragon god thing, thrust into a position in charge of a whole fucking country- and not a good one at that, forced to hunt down the girl he loved because of duty, and then forced to WATCH HER KILL HERSELF AND HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND and he had to keep going bc he has a whole fucking country to rebuild and hesperians to outplay

fuck all of the characters in these books are so haunted i love it and i hate it and i wish i'd never ever met them

and kitay...

i wanted so so so badly for him to live. i hate that he was so clearly helpless in the end. i knew that he loved rin and it was so glorious that he loved her but FUCK i didnt want him to end like this?!?,!;&:!:&:$. like... she was trynna kill him at the end. i thought hed die by jumping in front of an arrow for her or smtg 😭😭 we didnt even get to see much moments of them simply being best friends

"i cant help but love you" WHAT THE FUCK.

this is so unfair i feel so sick in the stomach i could vomit actually

the only person's death who i'm remotely at peace with is Rin's bc i anticipated it from the start and it was so cleary necessary, even though it was tragic. the whole thing with her spiralling at the end made me so sick in my stomach because i hated her briefly, but really i couldnt actually HATE her because shes rin and shes only twenty one (i just realised shes only SIX. SIX years older than i am) and shes been through so much fuck fuck fuck this stupid ass story i wish i never even had the ability to read. i want to hug rin and just stop time forever

a big part of me wishes that rin never tried to kill nezha at all, that she was completely sane (tho tbf, her going insane was totally warranted considering everything shes been through) and she had made some clever deal with the hesperians where she never used her powers ever again but not have to die and she could BE ALIVE with kitay and nezha but.... it makes sense that she dies (even though i hate that). it goes against her nature to live and bend to the hesperians, and her death would give nezha more credibility, and she probably wouldve gone even more batshit crazy having to act civilised and not wage another war... so

UGHAVSAJSBAK

i dont even know what to say anymore it all happened so fast and i still cant accept it

the weirdest thing is that the people i feel most sorry for are the ones who are alive (which is not many, but still...): Nezha, first and foremost. 21 years old and he has to singlehandedly play politics in order to save a fractured country. agshjss i wish kitay could have lived to help him through it omfg

also chaghan. him and his people are going to be the only ones left who have access to the pantheon, but they'll probably have to go to war or submit to the hesperians aghhh and chaghan has to lead all that with HALF OF HIS SOUL FUCKING DEAD (rf kuang... i curse you)

also what the hell happened to Lianhua? :( poor girl is gonna get tracked by the hesperians aswell

ushshajshsjss i cant think anymore. im so fucking miserable ^^,

atleast i can look at fanart now :(

[halfthebrain]

I don’t get this hate for Mike while he was an investment banker and fighting Harvey lmao. It was frankly really good TV.

TLDR: The stakes were much higher for Mike and he utilised every trick Harvey has taught him. He’s not the only one to blame just because some viewers can’t understand his motives. Harvey knew though and he forgave Mike, took him back, and even regretted fighting Mike in the first place.

First: obviously Mike would be more invested (pun intended) in winning than Harvey is. It was his first big case and his livelihood was on the line. In case anyone forgot, he never went to uni, he doesn’t have any degree. So this was his chance to get out of committing a felony every day. Sure, he still lied to Sidwell about his credentials but that’s still a lesser crime than pretending to be a lawyer. He left so he wouldn’t put the people he loved at risk.

For Harvey it was just another run of the mill client, a spoiled, entitled rich man child. Was there a lot of money on the table? Obviously. But those are the waters he swims in daily. Billion dollar deals as he said himself. Case in point: he also just drops Logan afterwards. Money be damned.

And Harvey knows this himself. He loves winning, yes, but he loves Mike more.

I actually blame Harvey for being a stubborn asshole and not going with Mike’s plan from the get go, not trusting Mike’s idea and plan, even tho he has consistently profited from them. But, again, this is TV drama so obviously they needed a reason to start a fight.

Second: have we not been watching the same show? It has always been personal to Mike. That’s his whole schtick. He cares. About absolutely, probably everything. He cares about why Walter Gillis started the company (because of his son). He cares about keeping that reason alive. He cares about keeping the workers employed. He empathises deeply, he tries to fight for what he thinks is the right thing. Does that make him a stuck up idealist at times? Yes, but that’s unavoidable. It was never just about winning for Mike, for Harvey it was. If you’re going to hate him for that then at least be a hater from the start.

He was still trying to keep Gillis Industries alive even though Harvey has smeared his name (personal attack) and Walter Gillis has shunned him because of that.

Third: it was all “fair game” despite whatever drama Donna procured in her head about the tapes to insert herself in Mike and Harvey’s fight. She can huff anf puff all she wants but the only person who has a reason to be pissed at Mike would be Harvey. And guess what? He forgave Mike anyway because he realises that Mike did a great job going for the jugular just as Harvey has taught him. He even defended Mike in front of Sidwell, asking him to take Mike back. They didn’t even go toe to toe. Harvey was backed by his entire firm (he’s a name partner), he even let Louis help (he fucked it up), Donna as usual, and lastly, Rachel who was “handling” Logan. Meanwhile Mike was fighting alone. Jonathan Sidwell only pressured him to win, Walter Gillis gave up on him and Amy could only help so much.

Just because Mike is on the other side now using the same methods Harvey taught him doesn’t mean that he’s the “bad guy”. Like I have said many times; they’re both the worst and deserve each other.

Bonus: while all of that was going on Rachel also thought it would be a wonderful idea to keep going back to Logan’s place and then to almost fuck him :).

Are you really, honestly hating on Mike right now?

[digital999placebo]

where the ludwig’s fuckin headcanons

OK AORRY DOR LATE REAPONSE BUT WHERE DO I EVEN START….. I have been obsessed with this stupid little anime man for nearly a year now and I have created the most chronically online, mentally ill lore around him so thank u for asking about it. some posts where I think I really went off and still believe SM in are this and this. Also this just has his general vibe.

I like to divide my headcanon and interpretation of Ludwig into two parts, before and after the world wars n cold war. The most important thing to me is before the wars, he has this romanticised idea of violence brought on by his brothers glory tales of it. He’s also touch starved and angry. One quote that summarises my thought p well is: “People want to be loved; failing that admired; failing that feared; failing that hated and despised. They want to evoke some sort of sentiment. The soul shudders before oblivion and seeks connection at any price”. He’s shaped by his brother and by the standards back then, cold, hard n ruthless masculinity. He believes he’s in control of his emotions because he internalises them all and doesn’t realise that anger is an emotion just like any other. Anger n shame is the only emotions his body will allow him.

After the wars and after the Cold War, he’s beginning to turn soft, partly due to realising that his glorification of violence and self isolation never really brought him any happiness and partly due to Feliciano, who’s literally as non macho as u can get still living a good life n enjoying himself despite not being the ideal manly man. SO now he’s just learning to shape his personality outside of being da perfect soldier that his brother shaped him into, he takes an interest in the world not in a way that will aid him in military strategising or learning patterns, but just the world for the sake of the world. He’s innocent n curious n way too trusting and forgiving. He just wants an easy life, a little home with some dogs in it.

He’s also a mega lightweight and a total kinkster despite being a virgin for majority of his life. His sex life with Feliciano is basically Feliciano being like: I’ve been sucking and fucking longer than you’ve been alive, none of ur kinks will surprise me” n then he’s still “WHEN DID THEY INVENT THAT” when Ludwig does tell him. Ludwig is way too embarrassed to try any of the things out tho despite how encouraging Feliciano is, his life is an entire spiral of shame and guilt and embarrassment and self torture.

EDIT: JFC ACCIDEBTALLY PUT THISBIN THE DRAFTS INSTEAD OF POSTING HERE IT IS, RNJOY UR SUPPER

[djsherriff-responses]

Personally, the idea of Jade still being alive and grappling with not only the idea of someone who could be considered her father figure coming onto her, but also dying just quickly would be pretty interesting. Like, especially in this incredibly stressful situation, how would she cope? How would she be able to deal with all this? If the others found out, how would they react about someone they consider a friend (or at least, everyone's beloved frogssasin considered him a friend) doing that?

I'm still mad they did Jade and Pey'j so fucking dirty tho, love the show, hate that this happened

From what I’ve learned from the original BGE, those two were definitely treated the dirtiest by the writing and to be frank I really dread the possibility of them coming back in season two, or that scene having some larger impact on the narrative than first meets the eye

But yeah it would’ve been incredibly interesting if Pey’J died first. Not only would it give Jade an interesting storyline that likely would’ve connect to a lot of vulnerable people (mostly women) who found themselves in similar situations with men they thought they could trust, but the impact it would have on the other characters is worth exploring too (with keeping Jade as the main focus obviously)

Bullfrog would naturally be disgusted and confused by Pey’J’s actions but I think Dolph would have the more interesting reaction to the situation in this hypothetical “Pey’J died but Jade is alive” storyline

I want to make it clear with the comparison I’m about to make is that I do not think Alex is a child predator and that the relationship between him and Dolph is that of two consenting adults who happen to have an age gap

The reason why I think Dolph would have an interesting reaction to Pey’J and Jade’s situation is less to do with Alex specifically and more so about Dolph’s subconscious, aka Dolph’s daddy issues

I pointed out that Alex has a really uncanny resemblance to both of Dolph’s parents and how Dolph’s lack of parental love in his youth heavily impacts how he goes about his romantic and sexual relationships, but I don’t think Dolph is consciously aware that the men he seeks out has such strong similarities to his neglectful parents. If someone were to get pictures of Alex and his parents and point out the similarities, Dolph’s brain would (metaphorically) explode from the realisation

and I think seeing the mess that Jade would have to deal with after Pey’J’s confession and death would bring about a similar awakening of self awareness in Dolph

I think after sorting through his own mental issues somewhat (in the cell he has to live in), Dolph would actually be a great help in comforting Jade about Pey’J, or at least would try to be. Their situations regarding their fathers are drastically different (Pey’J a creep while Dolph’s dad was just not in the picture), but the feelings of betrayal and hurt from the men who were meant to protect them is similar enough that they could at least bond over it. Plus I think Dolph would want to make sure Jade didn’t get into the habits that he got into to cope with those feelings and make sure her dating life is less toxic than his has been , like Dolph basically being the big brother figure to Jade that Dolph wishes he had when he was younger

Again, generally weird there seems to be audience for this type of story among the Laserhawk fandom yet no one seems to be even wanna touch on this very canon example

[issybettyx]

Guess who watched the new puss in boots today and could only think of how he could turn it into an au? Me.

So i’m gonna explain my thoughts on an sbi/dsmp au puss in boots, spoilers ahead for the film

-

Puss in boots - techno, bad ass with a sword, doesn’t feel fear ect ect. He had several near death experiences and somehow made it out alive, but never truly enjoyed life, so dream (death) comes to finally take his life

Softpaws - wilbur. He is not in love with techno, cus that’s just weird ew and also it just makes aus better when they’re found family (says literally everyone ever). Wilbur distrusts techno after he left him alone in a room full of people who hated them, and somehow made it out. Has trust issues, but is still a badass

Perrito - tommy. Chaotic little shit, just wants friends, sees the best in everything and everyone because we love a good optimist :) tommy just wants techno and wilbur, two friends he starts to see as brothers, to be happy, and can see their brotherly relationship from miles away even when they can’t. He also saves the day, cus he’s actually awesome

Death - dream, man dedicates his life to hunting down techno because he doesn’t value his life as much as he should, and also just hates the fact he keeps getting away. After an epic battle, he realises that techno realises his life has value when there’s people he cares about in it, and that Wilbur and tommy make him a better person

Goldilocks - PHIL. That man just wants a family, idk what to tell you, him and his crows (cough cough the bears) dedicate their very souls to getting that wish because Phil wants a family. And he sees The renowned technoblade, Wilbur soot and some random blonde kid called tommy trying to get this wish, and decides if he can’t wish for a family, maybe he’d just make them his own, and bring his crows along with him

Jack Horner (the dude who eats the pie) - i didn’t actually have a set person for this, horner in this film is a horrible person through and through, the conscience on his shoulder not being able to influence him at all was proof of that. I dont know a character that didn’t change at all, like even c!dream learned at the very end it wasn’t worth it, and tho that was hardly anything at least he learned something! Horner was loved as a child, given everything including love and respect, and still he remained horrible, so i don’t have someone for him lmao

The cat lady Luna - I can just imagine Niki or Puffy taking all these stray cats in and taking care of them, :000 maybe BOTH OF THEM!!! Omg what if they both take in stray cats and like omg i had a realisation this is so cool

Anyways it was a fantastic film highly recommend, like it was genuinely awesome

[engagemythrusters]

time to watch what is, I am assuming, the most fucked up shit to ever happen to Mr Crosshair CT9904

God I’m excited to finally see him again!

LOOK IRS MY LITTLE BITCH

Retirement huh

“CT-9904, you’re out of uniform” (puts on helmet in the bitchiest way possible)

I hate this guy. Look am at him. He’s so punchable

OHHHH crosshair beeing snappy about clone hare

Also yeah I wanna punch that guy

But god I think… crosshair finally… finally realising how sucky the empire is…

Crosshair and his bigass backpack

Oh my god I can’t see why is everything so dark

BEARD CLONE

handsome boy!

I love this commander clone

YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU IDIOT I hate you lieutenant nolan

Oh god… oh god the line of helmets… oh god my heart breaks

Mayday I love you <3

The hesitance before he says crosshair… smthn smthn analysis time for me later

I love his wrapped armour

OH NO His eyes!!! He’s gotta be extra sensitive to that poor guy

WAIT NO

He just shot MAYDAY DIDNT HE

O H N O

Okay mayday looks okay… so maybe not…Thank GOD.

In my defense it looked like the person was wrapped up the way mayday was. So. Uh yeah. A few minutes of panick tee em there.

Oh no… oh the lines of helmets… god it kills me.

I am going to kill Nolan with my bare hands

OH MY GOD HE STOLE ARMOUR

oh fod he’s standing on a mine

There’s a lot of “oh gods” that I’m saying but it’s so true

“I could use the distraction” sir you’re disarming a mine. Please pay attention to that 😂

MAYDAY 😂 stop toying with crosshair Jesus

“They’re… gone.” They don’t HAVE to be baby you can just go HOME to them :’(

Maybe between Cody and Mayday… maybe…

literally the last ep of this season is called 99 right? So…

God I’m crossing my fingers… and my hairs haha pun that’s bad hehe ugh

SKDJRKS the sass between the two 😂

Oh boy the anksieties.

Crosshair gets a frien—

Oh my GOD WAIT.

No the All Quiet On The Western Front reference theh made…

MAYDAY IS GOING TO DIE ISNT HE…

F U C K

No mayday baby pls don’t go there no no no I don’t want you to die :(

(Soundtrack is scratching some itches in my brain tho)

God I’m so nervous :(

Okay he’s alive… maybe… maybe I’m wrong…

“We’re good soldiers. We followed orders.” Oh god I’m. My heart is breaking. He didn’t even have that order to follow and it was still activated for him anyway. How much did that change him? How much did he have to push through to be himself again?

Oh NOOO

Noooo mayday…

My heart is breaking I can’t do this oh my god

Hehe okay the arms did make me laugh through the tears hehe

Okay I have to pause for work purposes but just know I’m dying inside rn

RIP it did not save the rest of my reactions. I did come back and finish up but evidently what I wrote after all got deleted. Big frustrating ngl. i wanted to come back to this when the end of the season came to see how this compared to that.

But anyway. That ending cut me up so badly... my heart is aching my whole chest hurts. Crosshair... he is going through so much and now he has to go through more... they're going to make him hunt the rest of the bad batch again, aren't they? To get Omega to make Nala Se work again... PLEASE hasn't he suffered ENOUGH?! Why can't he be saved... why can't they save him... I can't do this. Please save him...

Good ep? I don’t know. My whole chest aches.

[ghostiewriter]

I finished KoA🥲

I fucking new gavriel was gonna die I had a feeling and I thought I’d prepared myself for it but I did not and I was fighting to hold in my tears cuz I was not by myself at the moment and it fucking hurt. All those years he could’ve had getting to know aeidon😩 l know it was like he finally accepted his dad after that but it still hurt.

Bro and the thirteen sacrificing themselves for Manon 😫😫😫😫😫 I actually couldn’t hold in my tears for their deaths. Idk if it’s because out of all the characters stories Manon was one of the most captivating for me besides aelin. I absolutely loved her character arc and development, I could never get enough of her chapters and hated when I had to wait more than 5 chapters for her to come up again. And asterins story was so incredibly sad but she’s no longer separated from her human love and child🥹 (not me talking about these characters like they’re actual people)

Also she and dorian better have gotten together after the book I was really rooting for them and I hate I didn’t get to see them finally fall into a romantic relationship with each other. They were so fucking cute 😭

Sorry this is all over the place but I hated reading aelin getting tortured I felt so helpless and was so mad at cairn and Maeve for all the shit they did to her but it’s ok cuz Rowan skinned him alive and maeve finally died in the end :)

Also my appreciation for Rowan and aelin’s relationship after she was rescued went way up. He was just perfect for her and I love them together. I felt for aelin so much, all the shit she gave up for everyone and when Dorian’s dad have her the message from her family 😫 and when she was breaking a little and her mom was comforting her omg my heart was breakinggg.

I loved seeing the soft and vulnerable side of lorcan when he and elide finally got together it was adorable. Idk what it was about their story though I just felt like it was a bit rushed in a way after she avoided him for the most part which was understandable I guess I just really wanted to see a whole conversation about what happened and for him to beg on his knees even though he couldn’t lmao. But it was understandable since they were in the middle of a battle and she was terrified she lost him. Also Lord Lorcan Lochan 🤣 I fucking love them

Lysandra is amazing I love her and I’m glad she didn’t immediately forgive aeidon for all the shit he said to her. I understood why he was mad but this mf took it so personally like my dude get over yourself and stop treating the woman you love like shit!! That being said when they finally got together I was very happy for the both of them😌

Also Yrene fucking Towers ending erawan😏 love her

Omg and them when aelin and chaol finally met up with Dorian 😭 I love all their friendships and it was actually so heartbreaking when the war was done and everyone had to leave back to their countries :(

There’s so much stuff I could say more about but that would be really fucking long and I feel like I’ve gone on enough for now. It was a good read even if it broke my heart over and over again

OH BESTIE I SOBBED DURING THIS BOOO I GET IT AHSHSBSJZBSNSB

The Thirteen sacrificing themselves and Gavriel’s sacrifice genuinely got me, I wasn’t expecting it to make me sob but they did😭especially Gavriel like he just started having a relationship with his son!!!!

ELIDE AND LORCAN ARE SO CUTE AND THEY ARE ONE OF MY FAVS!! Still pissed we never got that smut scene tho, we were robbed!!

But I adore Yrene and I need more Manon and Dorian and just everything was so🫠and the wee scene with Dorian realising he was named after his dad? KILLED ME

anyways, now you can move onto acotar🌚you’re gonna LOVE IT