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#and i really want to do at least one sport
ladykailitha · 2 days
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Icarus Part 12
I've decided that since I have a fair amount of backlog on the three I've been doing WIP Wednesday for, that I'd post some of them to give me time to work on the rom-com AU more.
I recommend going back and re-reading part 11 at least before reading this one to be on the safe side.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
The Fallen boys need a break and Robin and Chrissy meet up with Nancy.
****
Things were going really well in the studio now that they had Bob Newby as their producer and their studio was closer to home so they could live their normal lives and still be in the studio recording.
It was the happiest the band had been in awhile. Which was why Steve should have seen it coming. The dark cloud on the horizon.
Shane was late.
That wasn’t to say that it was out of the ordinary or whatever, but it was now two hours late and Spence was pissed.
“When I get my hands on his scrawny neck,” he hissed. “I’m going to kill him.”
Simon rolled his eyes. “You’re just upset because it’s means you’ll be late for your date or whatever with Nadia. He’ll be here.”
“That’s not true and you know it, Asmodeus,” Spence bit out. “This is the third time this week and yeah, so what if I have a life outside of this, but that’s not why.”
Just then Shane stumbled in. He looked like absolute shit. His clothes were disheveled, his hair was a mess, and he wore dark sunglasses. Clutched to his chest was a large coffee.
“Fuck...” he mumbled as he shambled over to the sofa. He lowered himself gently onto the thing with a stream of curses. “Sorry I’m late, but my hookup last night turned off my alarm.”
He took a long sip of his coffee and rubbed his temple. He had finished most of the coffee when he realized that no one had said a word since he arrived.
The door opened and Bob and Robin entered the room looking more than a little cross.
Shane flashed them a smile. “Uh oh, it looks like I upset both mom and dad. So I was a little late. It happens.”
“But it shouldn’t be happening,” Spence said with a scowl. “This isn’t the first time. Hell, it’s not even the first time this week.”
Shane frowned, setting his coffee on the floor between his feet. He rubbed his temples as he struggled to think back. “That can’t be right, it’s only Monday, right?”
Everyone shared concerned glances.
“Astraeus,” Steve said slowly, “it’s Thursday.”
Bob crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You were late on Sunday, Monday and today, Astraeus.”
Shane stared up at them in open shock and disbelief. “There’s no way!” He pulled out his phone and looked at the date.
“Shit.”
“What’s been going on, man?” Simon asked, concerned for the first time. He hadn’t realized how often it had been and was giving Spence shit for wanting to be with his girlfriend.
Shane shook his head. “I have money for the first time in my life. I mean proper money. My parents always had enough to make sure we got into the things we wanted; sports, drama, music, you name it, but there wasn’t a lot of money to go around after, you know? I had to pay for my college education myself and I just wanted to live a little. Spread the money around, even if I couldn’t tell them what I did for a living, they don’t really care.”
“I can see that,” Robin said. “I think we all breathing easier, regardless of our backgrounds because the money we’re getting has pretty much set us up for life if it all went to shit tomorrow, which I really wouldn’t recommend, by the way.”
Shane let out a huff of breath that wasn’t quite a laugh. “I really didn’t mean to go off like that, I’ll cut back to just the weekends. I promise.”
Robin and Bob shared a glance.
“That’s strike one, Astraeus,” Bob said, “I don’t take slackers lightly. You want me to continue to work for you guys, you’ve got to step it up.”
Shane nodded empathically. “Can we have a day off a week though? It doesn’t have to be on the weekend, but this seven days a week is really hard.”
Robin blinked at him a moment. “You guys have been coming every day?”
The band looked around at each and all gave a collective shrug.
She turned to Bob. “Is that your schedule?”
Bob’s jaw dropped and he shook his head. “I only do that if there’s a rush to get the album out, which I understood there wasn’t. I don’t how we got on working every day, but Astraeus is correct they need a day off.”
“What works best for everyone?”
The band worked out a better schedule that worked for everyone with it ending with Bob giving everyone the rest of the week off, giving them strict instructions to talk to him about those sort of things before it got to this point.
Robin clapped her hands once. “Right, now that we’ve got that settled, we’re still meeting up at Abbadon’s for dinner to discuss my meeting with Nancy. My meeting is at three and dinner is at six, so don’t be late.” She glared at Shane and he raised his hands in surrender.
“See you all then!”
****
Robin straightened her wig in her rearview mirror and added more lipstick. She wore special contacts that changed her bright blue eyes to a more common brown color. She was dressed in slim fitting white slacks with a bright pink silk blouse and a black leather aviator’s jacket. She hated wearing these clothes, they just weren’t her. At least she didn’t have to wear high heels to this thing. She would have broken an ankle for sure.
But she would sell her soul to the devil if it meant that Steve got to do what he loved. And it wasn’t as though she didn’t love her job either. But Eddie was right, she was on her last frayed nerve and that wouldn’t do her boys any good.
She slid out of her Maserati MC20 and walked up to the restaurant. The Corroded Coffin’s manager, Chrissy Cunningham was going to be there as a mediator.
Robin hadn’t told Steve this, but Chrissy knew who she was. Not the band, she didn’t know that, but she knew that Celeste Baptiste was Robin Buckley. It was just something Robin felt she needed to know before going in there with Nancy. That she personally had a stake in the game, even if it was just as Steve’s best friend.
Chrissy loved the idea of even their manager having an alter ego and it made Robin feel better about her choice to be someone else.
Robin and Chrissy kissed each other’s cheeks in greeting and Robin sat down.
“She’s not here yet?” she asked, looking at her matching watch.
Chrissy shook her head. “She’s running a little behind. One of her clients blew up the internet last night and she’s been having to play hard ball to keep it from destroying their career.”
Robin leaned in close. “Ooh, do you know who it was?”
“That’s for me to know,” Nancy said from above them, “and for you to never find out.”
Robin looked up at her and was struck on how good she looked. It was almost unfair how good she looked.
She was wearing a grey plaid blazer with the sleeves rolled up over a white button shirt and a black pencil skirt. She wore grey boots and matching sunglasses, glasses she took off with a shake of her dark curls.
Robin gulped. Nancy had been intimidating enough in high school, but now she could stare down a raging bull and come away unscathed.
“Hello, ladies,” Nancy said with a smile. “I’m sorry I was late, but I think I managed a god damn miracle and could eat an entire salad bar.”
Nancy sat down and put her phone in her purse.
“Oh are you vegan?” Chrissy asked as the waiter came up with a pitcher of water. Nancy waved him off and ordered a rosé.
“Just vegetarian,” she said with a shake of her head. “I love cheese too much. Plus, I knew a militant vegan and they scare me.”
Robin laughed. “Couldn’t be me, I went full vegan last year and haven’t looked back.”
Nancy and Chrissy both winced, but for different reasons, Nancy for her comment about militant vegans and Chrissy, well...
“I picked this place because it has the best rib eye steak on the planet,” she said with a grimace. “That’s not going to bother either of you if I order that, right?”
Nancy and Robin shared a glance and then shook their heads.
“My best friend loves steak,” Robin said, “It’s his choice to eat it, I just a have a problem with the ethical consumption of meat and other animal products.”
“Most of my clients eat meat,” Nancy agreed. “I’m not about to piss them off because I don’t like the taste.”
Chrissy relaxed and let out a long sigh. “Great!”
She picked up her menu to hide her embarrassment. A few minutes later, their waiter came back and they placed their orders.
Nancy had ordered a pasta with roasted sun dried tomatoes and mushrooms and Robin ordered a simple salad with a vinaigrette.
As they waited for their food, Nancy got down to business. “So as I understand it, the band The Fallen is looking for an agent to help with the legal and PR aspect of their brand, correct?”
Robin nodded, twisting her napkin nervously. Normally as Celeste, she was cooler under pressure but Nancy scared her. Not because of anything she could do to her specifically, but because what she could do to her boys.
Chrissy reached out and laid her hand over Robin’s fidgeting ones. Robin let out a shuddered breath.
“Normally bands like theirs have teams and teams of people doing all the work,” Robin said, “but with the secrecy surrounding their identities the more people that know the easier it is for a leak.”
Nancy nodded. “It’s certainly not the usual thing. But I’ve got a few clients that are strict about their identities and it wouldn’t be a problem, but as I told Chrissy, I would have know everything about them so that I can do my upmost to protect them.”
“Did you sign the NDA?” Robin asked, straightening her spine. This was something she was good at. Protecting her boys and she would do it with the fierceness of a mother bear and her cubs.
Nancy picked up her briefcase and opened it up. She took out a folder and handed it to Robin. Robin looked it over and then nodded.
She stuck it in her purse and pulled out a hard portfolio and slid it across to Nancy. Chrissy squeezed her hand as Nancy read through the documents. Their food arrived in the interim and she set it aside. She steepled her hands and planted her elbows on the table.
“How much of this do you know?” she asked Chrissy.
“Only what I needed to which is who Celeste is,” she replied, “and that both her and Abbadon have a history with you that could be trouble for a lot of people, not just the band.”
Nancy nodded and took a bite of her food before saying anything else. Chrissy and Robin exchanged glances but started eating as well. More for something to do in the intervening silence than because they were actually interested in food at that moment.
After a few moments Nancy blotted her lips with her napkin and set it next to her plate. “This is not what I was expecting when I heard that you had concerns about my professionalism and in all honesty, this is easier to understand then a manager thinking they don’t need the help of an agent when they really do.”
Chrissy and Robin shared a glance.
“Is that something that’s common?” Chrissy asked. Corroded Coffin had already had Nancy as their agent when she became their manager five years ago. They had outgrown their former manager Murray Bauman and was looking for someone younger to manage them so they hired her.
Nancy nodded. “It is.” She turned to Robin. “You’re his best friend, right? The quirky band chick who was always working with him?”
Robin was impressed with her way of asking the question without revealing anything significant about their identity. She brought her finger up to her contact and moved it aside to show the blue underneath before sliding it back into place.
“I’m assuming I’m the last resort?” Nancy asked after taking another bite of food.
Robin and Chrissy shared another glance.
“Not in the way you mean,” Chrissy explained. “I gave her a list of agents that might be able to have them on as clients and we’ve met with a couple of them but decided even before they got to what’s in the folder that they weren’t suitable for their needs.”
“The double lives aspect, I suspect.”
“Both of them wanted to push them into revealing themselves,” Robin said, nodding. “Which was completely off the table.”
Nancy licked her bottom lip and her eyes narrowed. “Is that off the table indefinitely or will we circle back to that sometime in the future?”
Robin rolled her eyes. “There’s no way to predict if they’re going to change their mind five-six years down the line.”
“I’m going to be frank,” she said, “I do not have a problem repping them. Not even Abbadon. But I understand there will be some awkwardness on both sides at first. I will even apologize in person. Because the fact of the matter is, I did hurt him. I strung him along until something better came along and then didn’t even have the decency to break up with him before moving on. I was young and stupid and even worse, I’m not even with that guy anymore. Like with me and Abbadon, we wanted different things.”
“Apologize first,” Chrissy said with a wicked gleam in her eye, “then we’ll see about hiring you for The Fallen.”
Nancy reached out to shake Robin’s hand. “Deal?”
Robin nodded curtly. “Deal.”
They moved onto the more tedious aspects of what they wanted out of Nancy as they finished their meals.
But as Robin was heading back to her car she had a small satisfied smile on her face. Yes, this really was the best option for the band.
****
Because of canon-Chrissy's unhealthy relationship with food, I wanted her to go hard into eating all things that her mom most likely forbade her from eating growing up. Hence the steak and the wine. Nancy I figured would be at least vegetarian with personality (just the vibes I get from her *shrug*) and Robin would absolutely be vegan. Just not a militant one.
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shiny-crocodile · 2 days
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the best person i’ve ever met
lucy bronze x ona batlle
Summary:
lucy and ona origin story; semi-slow burn, semi-quick; multi chapters that will get a little smutty
chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
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Chapter summary: disguises, scarves and a photobooth
Notes: first time writing smut so would love to get feedback (good or bad)
Smut
Over the next few weeks Ona did everything she could to keep the flirting to a minimum, showing real will power to not answer Lucy’s late night face times, knowing if she saw her wrapped up in bed she would not be able to keep up her friendship rule.
The English girl would send sweaty gym selfies, knowing exactly what she was doing. Ona was completely floored every time she saw a new one sent through.
Like how could someone be that attractive? Lucy was regularly in just a sports bra and some short shorts, dripping in sweat that made her baby hairs curl slightly and her face flush in the most cute but sexy way. But it was the ice bath videos that really got Ona. Lucy would send her videos of her entering the tub, abs on full display as she submerged herself in a way that gave Ona all the butterflies.
The Spanish girl often rewatched the videos or zoomed in on the gym photos as she had her “me time” on an evening, imagining it was Lucy’s hands on her.
So of course it would be rude to use Lucy like this and not give anything back. That was true friendship, right?
Lucy never had to know about how Ona used what she sent her, just like Ona never had to know that Lucy regularly found herself with her hand between her legs at the photos she got in return and even just the thoughts of Ona, their kisses on that date replaying over and over in her head.
Lucy loved the chase, she loved slowly bringing down Ona’s walls. But 2 months had passed and she desperately needed more. She finally cracked after being sent a particularly mouth watering selfie of Ona on a jog in a sports bra, the camera angled perfectly to catch her soaked, tanned abs and defined arms.
“Right,” Lucy said to Narla sat beside her on the sofa with her favourite frog toy, “we’ve gotta get out of here.”
Lucy - you look good!!! and I miss you x
Lucy - think it’s time I paid a visit back to Manchester… you free this Saturday?
Ona - Mm, apart from a little game called the Manchester derby
Lucy - ah yes, I remember those. So do you want an extra fan in the crowd?
Ona - you’d support United for me?!?! Wow, you’re down reeeeeeal bad
Lucy - Good point, will have to be something in it for me then…
Lucy - If you let me take you out after the game you have yourself a deal
Ona - well that’s not fair, you know I’d do anything to convert someone from blue to red..
Lucy jumped off the sofa, much to Narla’s alarm, walking back into the room a minute later with her old City top in hand, draping it over Narla’s reluctant head before taking a quick photo and sending it through to Ona.
Lucy - what if I sweetened the deal by adding another city fan into the mix?
Ona - done deal, signing on the dotted line now. I’ll see you Saturday!
Lucy jumped off the sofa again and fist pumped the air, grateful there was no one around to see her embarrassing outburst of joy.
Now she had to book flights and plan. She wasn’t going to let this time be anything like the last, desperate to make sure Ona has a great time and there are zero tears.
Ona on the other hand was feeling apprehensive. Keeping it friendly over messages was one thing, she didn’t know how she was going to cope face to face with Lucy again.
/////
As Lucy rocked up to the game she was geared up in her best undercover look. Black cap pulled low, wide black sunglasses covering half her face, and a black hoodie to match. She looked more like a bank robber than a football fan, but at least she’d go unnoticed.
She didn’t particularly mind fans seeing her or asking for a photo, but she didn’t want to take the attention off the girls or the game today.
She glided through security and made her way up to the concourse before she heard a shout from behind her.
“Lucy Bronze is that you?” Yelled a Dutch accent, and Lucy turned around quickly to see Sarina walking towards her, so much for her amazing disguise.
“Hi Sarina, Hi Anton,” she said, giving her England manager and coach quick hugs in greeting.
“What are you wearing and what are you doing here?” Sarina asked bluntly, in typical Dutch style.
Lucy removed her sunglasses, they seemed silly now she was inside and had been exposed. “Well I thought I’d try go under the radar, and I played yesterday so thought I’d use the weekend to come watch my old team,” Lucy said, her answer seeming rehearsed.
Sarina smiled, knowing all too well that female footballers rarely flew to other countries on their days off just to watch ‘friends’ or ‘old teams’.
“Well I’m sorry for blowing your cover, I’m going to go one further though,” Sarina asserted, “you’ll have to come sit with us, we want to get your thoughts on the players.”
Lucy wanted nothing less than a camera inevitably being pointed at her for 90 mins, but she could never say no to Sarina. She also loved chatting football with Sarina so maybe she would have some fun despite the attention.
As the game kicked off, Lucy had her eyes glued to one player and one player only, even when she was nowhere near the ball, she couldn’t help it. She looked perfect as she moved around the pitch, switching from sprint to jog, everything she did was mesmerising and she was having an amazing game.
Sarina would ask her questions and Lucy would do her best to answer but the answers about her England teammates were pretty generic, as she was hardly watching them.
Midway through the second half, Ona pulled off an incredible sliding tackle on Lauren Hemp, forcing Lucy to clap aggressively loudly. She saw Sarina nudge her assistant manager and say, “so that’s the one then.”
Lucy ignored her, smiling a cheesy grin as she watched Ona’s teammates congratulate her for the tackle.
The English girl loved watching football, she had to watch a lot of it of course, but watching Ona was a whole different experience. She was honestly gutted when the 90 mins were up, until she realised this meant she could go and see the Spanish girl.
Ona collected her Player of the match award and looked over to the seats where Lucy was meant to be sat, but had no luck in finding her.
Lucy felt a warm fuzzy feeling watching Ona look for her, with her confused and searching facial expression. She knew Ona wouldn’t see her thanks to Sarina abducting her, and she watched the Man U player trudge off the pitch to the changing rooms.
Ona picked up her phone as soon as she got back into the changing room, something she usually saves until after the showers.
Ona - did you come?
Lucy - thought you’d save that question for later 😉
Lucy - oh god I’m sorry that was too much 🤦‍♀️ 😂
Lucy - I’m here, want to meet me in the car park? Unless you need help carrying that player of the match award? X
Ona - you are way too much. I’ll see you in the car park in 20mins, just need a shower x
Lucy - yeah, no smelly girls in my rental car thank you. See you in 20 x
Ona laughed as she placed her phone back down and headed towards the showers, trying to make this the quickest turnaround ever so she could go and greet her visitor.
“You coming for celebratory drinks, Ona?” Tooney asked as Ona finished getting dressed.
“Not today, sorry Tooney,” Ona said, picking up her things before heading towards the door, “I’m seeing a friend visiting from Spain.”
Technically it wasn’t a lie, Ona thought as she left the room, saying goodbye to everyone on her way out, as they gave her another congratulation.
/////
As she made her way to the car park in the lift Ona gave herself a pep talk on the descent. She was determined to keep this PG. She obviously fancied Lucy but she wanted to take this extra slow, wanting to make sure Lucy was 100% over the ex and 100% focused on her before pursuing anything.
The pep talk was all for nothing when the lift doors opened to show Lucy leaning against the side of a car, on her phone like something out of a movie. Ona had to catch her breath, she looked insanely good.
Lucy had ditched the hoodie to reveal a well fitted white t-shirt, not too tight but tight enough to show off her torso and chest. To top the outfit off she had a half and half scarf. Half Man United, Half Man City.
“What the hell is that?” Ona called over, giggling away at the sight of the girl at the end of the car park.
Lucy looked up quickly to see the Spanish girl. She could listen to that giggle all day and she wouldn’t mind looking at the wet haired girl all day either, she looked beautiful, even after a 90 minute match for Man U. ( 😉)
“Do you like it?” Lucy asked, taking it off to start waving it above her head, making Ona laugh harder. She started walking towards Ona now to meet her in the middle.
“Not sure about the blue part.”
“It’s the best I can offer, even if it is a footballing sin.”
The girls finally came within a meter of each other.
“Hey,” Lucy said sweetly, tilting her head to the side.
“Hey,” Ona responded, stepping up to Lucy and wrapping her in a tight hug. Lucy smelt as good as she looked and Ona didn’t want to let go, breathing in the floral but woody scent.
Lucy was doing the same to Ona as she was overwhelmed with the smell of peach conditioner. Lucy couldn’t help herself from saying, “you smell so good.”
She felt a bit embarrassed, letting that thought loose.
“I was thinking the same about you,” Ona said, always finding a way to put the northern girl at ease and remove any awkwardness.
They stood back from the hug and Lucy took Ona’s bags from her and slung them over her left shoulder, wrapping her right arm around the smaller girl as they made their way to the car.
“So what do you have planned?” Ona asked as they drove away from the stadium, having no idea what the older girl had arranged.
“Well dinner didn’t go to plan last time so I thought I’d do a 360 and booked an activity bar,” Lucy said, deciding to make light of the last date early into the evening.
Ona laughed, thankfully for Lucy, “Ooo fun, little bit of competition!”
“I know, brave move competing against the best player in Manchester,” Lucy said playfully, smiling over at the girl in the passenger seat. She nearly swerved off the road, unable to take her eyes off Ona as golden hour had well and truly arrived, setting a glow on the Spaniard’s face.
Ona grabbed Lucy’s chin and turned her face back to the road, “killing the competition feels slightly like cheating,” she joked, drawing a belly laugh from Lucy, eyes firmly back on the road.
/////
By the time they parked up at the bar Ona’s hair had pretty much dried. Lucy jumped out quickly to run round to Ona’s side and open the car door, in serious grafting mode as Ona chuckled at her keenness.
The bar had loads going on, from mini golf to arcade games, there was plenty of opportunities for the girls’ competitive sides to come out.
Lucy quickly decided that she would leave the car to pick up tomorrow, in favour of joining Ona on the drinks. They had to celebrate after all and Lucy was told she was extra charming with a bit of liquid confidence, so she headed to the bar and got them two mojitos.
“What’s first then?” Ona asked, looking around at all the options.
“Axe throwing?” Lucy offered.
Ona looked round at her, “got some anger to get out?” She asked, thinking the Keira-Lola situation might still be on her mind.
“Not at all,” Lucy said, because she honestly didn’t, “they don’t let us play that one after our second drink as it’s a deadly weapon. Also I’m good at it and you won’t be able to cope seeing me with an axe in hand.”
Ona laughed, “that sounds like a threat.” She felt slightly scared of the amount of willpower it might take her to resist Lucy for this round.
The younger player was right to be scared. This version of Lucy was proving impossible to resist. The English girl placed her half half scarf around Ona’s neck, now fully showcasing how good she looked in that white t-shirt, the tightness meaning her shoulder and back muscles were now also on full display. Ona’s mouth watered as Lucy threw the first axe, it landing perfectly in the middle, of course it did.
Ona was as competitive as Lucy and she groaned seeing how good Lucy was at this on her first throw. Although she knew losing might not be so hard when she got to drool over Lucy looking that good.
As the Spaniard stepped up to the plate, her first throw went embarrassingly wide, and she turned away in frustration, making Lucy chuckle at her cute annoyed face.
“Here, let’s try another, I’ll show you,” Lucy said, picking up another axe and handing it to Ona.
“No, no, no, I don’t need help,” Ona resisted, “it’s your turn.”
The younger brunette was firstly too stubborn and competitive to receive help, she couldn’t give Lucy that satisfaction. Secondly, she knew that Lucy would make the demonstration as sexy as possible and that would seriously mess with her promise to herself of keeping this PG.
“Suit yourself,” Lucy said, stepping up to the plate to take her second shot, another great one. Ona avoided staring at her this time, instead playing with her straw to occupy the mind.
A few more turns and Ona still wasn’t getting it, getting frustrated with herself while Lucy was keeping up her excellent tally. The older girl leaned herself against the side wall with a cheeky smile as Ona lifted her 6th axe.
“You sure you still don’t want to take me up on that offer?” Lucy asked with a teasing tone.
“Fine,” Ona said, fed up of not being good at this, “but you can instruct from over there.” She wasn’t going to make it that easy for Lucy and needed to keep some distance for her own sake.
Lucy chuckled at the girl’s continued stubbornness, but did her best to direct her from the side.
Ona still wasn’t getting it and her shot still went wide.
“Come on, let me show you,” Lucy insisted.
Ona agreed reluctantly, fully aware of what she was letting herself in for while Lucy bounced over with a spring in her step.
Lucy started the training by working on Ona’s standing position. She moved Ona’s legs, one at a time into a stance that put them level with each other and shoulder width apart, before moving round the back of Ona to work on her posture.
Obviously for this part it was absolutely necessary for Lucy to push her front into Ona’s backside, not being able to see Ona roll her eyes at how obvious she was being, but of course the Spaniard didn’t stop her.
The older girl slowly ran her hands up Ona’s side, from the outer thigh, making her giggle as she went over her armpits to get to the upper arms where she gently lifted Ona’s arms above her head.
Ona was heating up with all this touching and pressing, feeling Lucy’s breath on her neck, nose brushing against her ear as the English girl left a tender kiss on the side of Ona’s neck. “Perfect,” Lucy said, Ona unable to respond and forced to bite her lip at the praise.
Lucy moved around Ona to face her now, not missing how flustered the younger girl looked. She moved Ona’s body as she instructed her. “Right, bring the axe back now and I want you to eye up the mark just above the target rather than the target itself. Then give it what you’ve got, extend your arm half way and release once your elbows pass your ears.”
If Ona was thinking straight she would have admired how Lucy could turn down the flirting for a moment to actually give her decent instructions, but she could still feel Lucy’s mouth on her neck from a few moments ago so she wasn’t thinking straight at all.
Despite that, she followed Lucy’s steps and somehow managed to hit the target!
“MVP! MVP!” Lucy exclaimed as she picked Ona’s lighter frame up and spun her around.
Ona was so happy to hit the target that she just wrapped her legs round Lucy, allowing herself to be lifted before Lucy slowly lowered Ona, the distance between their faces now about 10 centimetres.
“About time,” Ona said, relieved to finally get a point on the board. She stepped back to reestablish the distance between herself and the English player.
They finished their round, Ona never missing now and Lucy looking on as proud as punch before returning to the bar for another drink and looking around to decide their next activity.
They moved from mini golf, to basketball hoops, to shuffle board, Lucy taking any opportunity to get close to and touch Ona. At some point the spaniard stopped even trying to warn Lucy off, the alcohol making it harder and harder.
“Let’s go take some photos in the photo booth,” Ona said, dragging Lucy by the hand to the booth in the corner of the room, both sliding in as Lucy pulled the curtain behind them.
They took some shots in different silly positions before the last couple where Lucy tilted Ona’s face towards her, leaning in extra slowly to give Ona the opportunity to say stop or push her away.
Ona gave a small nod and Lucy took her signal, attaching her lips to the younger girl’s. They both deepened the kiss as the shutter went off for the final photo.
They continued through the sound of the printer, not halted by their time in the booth being over, it wasn’t like there was a queue or anything.
The English girl was the first to slip her tongue in. This kiss was nowhere near as gentle as their first, both feeling equally desperate after the weeks of flirting and working each other up.
It was hot and heavy as the curtain shielded them from the rest of the bar, offering some privacy to let their hands roam.
Lucy bit on Ona’s lip, drawing a moan from the younger girl that Lucy was desperate to hear again and again and again.
She sat back on the seat, gripping the back of Ona’s thighs as she lifted her into her lap so the Spaniard could straddle her. The older girl ran her hands up Ona’s back, removing her top over her head, discarding it along with Lucy’s jacket onto the floor of the booth, leaving Ona in her bra.
Lucy looked up and down the girl in front of her, biting her lip.
As the kissing got steamier both girls were now so wet for the other.
Ona started grinding down on Lucy’s lap, desperate to take this further and find some kind of friction.
The desperation not going unnoticed, Lucy moved Ona’s head to the side and attached her mouth to the younger player’s neck, open mouthed kissing and sucking as Ona let out another moan, louder this time.
“Holy shit,” Ona whispered, she couldn’t get enough of Lucy who hushed her moans while pulling down Ona’s cargo trousers to sit mid-thigh, moving her hand over Ona’s clothed pussy.
While keeping up the attack on Ona’s neck, Lucy slipped her fingers into the Spaniard’s knickers. “You’re so wet,” Lucy whispered, the roughness in her voice only making the younger girl wetter.
“Can you blame me?” Ona asked, gasping as Lucy’s fingers brushed through her folds and up to her throbbing clit.
Both girls were on cloud 9, Ona couldn’t believe she’d gone from a promise of friendship to having Lucy’s hands between her legs in a photo booth in the middle of a bar. But she felt way too good to care.
The Spaniard let out her loudest moan yet as Lucy pushed a finger inside Ona with little resistance and started gently pumping. Lucy halted, remembering they were in a public place and not wanting Ona to be embarrassed later over the sounds she was making. She grabbed the half-half scarf and pushed it into Ona’s mouth to muffle the moans, the taking of control making Ona’s pussy ache.
Ona threw her head back as Lucy picked back up the pace, slipping in the second finger, feeling the tightness this time, Ona’s walls clenching around her.
“You look so fucking good right now, I’m so obsessed with you,” Lucy said, her words making Ona’s head spin and pushing her further to her peak.
Lucy saw the effect her words were having on the younger girl, continuing, “my MVP on the pitch and now in the booth, you’ll never know how perfect you are.”
“Feels so good” Ona mumbled through the scarf as she was hurtling towards her high now, hips bucking as she pushed herself deeper onto Lucy’s hand, but she needed more. She temporarily moved the scarf out of her mouth.
“Lucy, please more, my clit, please.”
So turned on by Ona’s begging, the older girl’s the wet patch was growing between her legs and giving her no choice but to comply. She used her thumb to rub circles around Ona’s clit, applying the perfect amount of pressure.
Ona moaned into the scarf, Lucy could feel how close she was and moved her hand from the younger girls waist and up to her chest, massaging her left boob through the bra as she began sucking on the right.
That was it, Ona was done for. Her head flew back a final time, cries muffled as Lucy helped her ride out her high.
Spitting the scarf out of her mouth, she wrapped herself around Lucy. The English girl slowly removed her fingers while the younger player nuzzled into her neck as they both caught their breath.
“I’m obsessed with you too by the way,” Ona said once she regained a little composure, kissing different areas of Lucy’s face and shoulders in gratitude.
“Yeah?” Lucy asked, a rare moment of self doubt, needing extra reassurance after being the one to do the chasing recently.
Ona brushed the older girl’s hair out of her face as she kissed her lips lovingly.
“Oh completely,” Ona admitted, wanting to make the English girl feel appreciated after the beautiful orgasm she’d just given her, “I so wanted and tried to keep this friendly but it’s kind of impossible when you’re you and I feel like this about you.”
Ona gave Lucy a final kiss on the forehead before removing herself slowly from Lucy’s lap, still feeling sensitive.
Lucy leaned down to give the front of Ona’s knickers a soft kiss before pulling up her cargo pants.
The tenderness didn’t stop there, Lucy helping to put Ona’s top back on, again giving Ona all the butterflies at just how caring the English girl was in everything she did.
The Spaniard took the photos from the tray and laughed, turning them to show Lucy, “I mean I think it’s pretty safe to say from these that we’re both equally obsessed.”
The photos were 1 of them facing the camera, 4 of them taking turns to look at each other lovingly as the other did something silly, 1 of them looking deep into each others eyes, and the final was of course of the kiss.
Lucy whipped her phone out to take a photo of them, smiling like a cheshire cat. “These are amazing,” she said, Ona nodding in agreement.
The taller girl leaned down to give Ona another kiss before taking her by the hand and leaving the photo booth.
As they walked away Ona stopped, remembering something.
“Wait,” Ona said as she turned back to the booth, returning with the scarf. “We’ll need this for later,” she teased, winking at Lucy as she rejoined her and walked them over to the bar.
“Food?” Ona asked, picking up a menu from the bar.
Lucy agreed looking over Ona’s shoulder at the menu, “it’s needed.”
As they perused the menu, neither girl was wowed by the options. “This is all a bit boring, should we go back to mine and get a takeaway?” Ona suggested, “maybe we could try sushi again.”
Lucy chuckled, “yeah let’s do that. Let me just grab my bag out of the car.”
Ona raised her eyebrows, “overnight bag in the car? Pretty presumptuous no? Someone was confident they’d break down these walls.”
“I mean I had hoped so,” Lucy said between laughs, “but I just didn’t have time before the game to drop it at the hotel I’ve booked. Is it good if we swing by there first and I can drop it off?”
Ona shoved her playfully, “don’t be stupid, bring it to mine.”
Lucy couldn’t hide her delight. She was telling the truth about not having time to leave it at the hotel, but was obviously beyond thrilled that she would not have to use that room at all.
61 notes · View notes
Text
Worst Case Scenario
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Summary- Gareth wants the chance to talk to you so badly, but seeing how you react to other guys approaching you only makes him more and more nervous…
Genre- Fluff
Warnings- None c:
Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @aidansloth @esme-viridian @morganwrites12672
(tag list is always open, please let me know if you’d like to be added 💋)
Word Count- 3.7k
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“Just go up and ask!” Jeff urged Gareth as the four of them sat at a table a few rows in front of you at the library.
“I can’t!” Gareth whispered, “What if she says no?”
“What if she says yes?” Grant said, trying to push Gareth into finally being able to ask you out.
It had been months since he gained this little crush on you, and it was growing to the point of agony for him. Sneaking glances at you from across the classroom, tripping himself up in the halls from watching you walk past, and your sweet demeanor definitely wasn’t helping much.
You were so smart, so kind, and though you had barely spoken to one another aside from an occasional ‘hi’ in the halls he could tell that you were someone genuine. But seeing all the other guys get rejected day after day didn’t make him feel any better about his crush on you.
He’d seen guys approach you in class, in the halls, during lunch. At least one guy a week had the balls to ask you out on a date, and though you had always appreciated their offers, you turned down every single one. And Gareth knew he would probably just be another one of those guys you rejected.
“Stop overthinking it.” Eddie said, “If she says yes, good. If she says no, then you have your answer. Simple as that.”
Gareth knew Eddie was right. He shouldn’t pry you with things like this, and he knew that if he got another rejection he could take it well. Sure, it may hurt at first, but he’s been through it before and he can do it again. He was about to stand up and finally do it, but he stopped as he watched one of the seniors approach your table.
The boys kept themselves quiet, trying their best to hear the interaction that was about to take place. And it seemed like a few of the boys at the tables around you were doing the same thing.
Daniel McNeal was a senior, decently attractive, smart, and was quite gifted when it came to managing a schedule filled with work, school, sports, and a handful of extracurriculars to really spice up his college applications. Gareth knew now he wouldn’t stand a chance after him.
He and the boys sat back and carefully watched your interaction.
As Daniel approached your table, your head tilted up from your notebook and gave him a polite smile as he looked down to you, moving your attention quickly back into your notes.
“Hey.” He said with a smile, getting your attention once more.
You looked up once again and gave him another smile,
“Hi.”
“You’re (y/n), right?”
“Yep.” You’re went back to scribbling down a few points from your textbook, “That’s me. Why?”
“You know, i always saw glances of you in the halls,” He helped himself to the seat across from you at your table, “I just never expected you to be this pretty up close.”
You kept a kind smile on your face and let out a slow sigh, knowing exactly what was about to play out. It’s happened too many times before. You set your pencil down onto your notebook and closed it, folding your arms over it and looking up to him,
“Go on.” What you were saying would normally sound so shallow, and yet there was something about the way you said it that made it sound so syrupy sweet. No matter how humiliated all those rejected boys felt beforehand, you never made them feel bad for asking.
Daniel shot you a strange look,
“What do you mean?”
“Ask me out. I assume that’s what you came over here to talk to me about, but if it’s not then i apologize. I think i’ve been in this situation so many times things like this just come natural to me.” You giggled, making him smile.
“Pretty and smart. You’re the whole package, aren’t you?”
“I suppose so.” You shrugged.
Daniel leaned forward into the table, talking softly to you with a cocky smile on his face, thinking he’s already got you wrapped around his finger,
“Well, what do you say? You, me, saturday night, i was thinking the drive in but if that’s not your style i’d be happy to take you to dinner.”
“No thanks.” You smiled still, pulling your arms away from over your notebook before opening it back up and moving your attention back to your textbook.
Daniel gave you another confused look,
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I mean ‘no’ as in, ‘no, i don’t want to go out with you’. But i appreciate the offer!”
Your sweet demeanor was confusing given your answer, and Daniel was at a loss for words. He had never been rejected by a girl before, and he certainly didn’t expect you to be the first to do it. He figured with his good looks and charm he would be the one to finally break your streak of rejections, but you proved him wrong.
He watched as you happily went back to your notes, and leaned across the table to get a bit closer to you, talking in a whisper,
“Did i do something wrong?” He asked with a nervous chuckle.
“No.” You looked up to him from your notes, “It’s nothing you did. I’m not denying that you’re an attractive guy, and you seem very nice, but i’m just not interested.” You flashed him a smile and looked down back to your notes, scribbling away and leaving Daniel confused as he sat across from you.
After a few moments of silence, Daniel stood up from the chair across from you, and as he stepped away from the table you gave him one last smile before moving back to your notes. The boys were sat at their table, slack jawed after watching that scene unfold in front of them and the handful of other students sat at the tables around you.
“So she’s never going to say yes to me.” Gareth shrugged, giving up any attempts he had thought of to try and get your attention, but after watching you reject yet another guy he had no intentions of letting himself risk getting rejected.
“Stop being a pussy!” Jeff whispered through his teeth.
“Enough with that!” Gareth whispered back, quickly glancing back at you once more, watching as you continued on with your note taking, looking so peaceful as you did so, “I’ll ask… I just don’t know if i should do it now.”
“Fine then, that means she’s up for grabs.” Eddie shrugged as he sat back in his seat.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you can’t get all pissy if some other guy asks her out and she says yes. Just rip the bandaid off and do it!”
Gareth put his head in his hands and sighed, knowing that Eddie was right,
“You’re right. Fuck it.”
Gareth took one last deep breath and glanced over his shoulder at you, deeply focused on your textbook, tapping the eraser at the end of your pencil on the pages of your notebook. It was now or never.
Without another word he stood up and slowly stepped toward your table, his palms already feeling damp just from taking a few steps closer to you. He kept his breathing slow, the constant reminder in the back of his head telling himself that the worst thing that could come of this would be you saying ‘no’. Rejection wouldn’t be anything new for him, so why did it feel so different with you.
When you glanced up and met his gaze with a little smile his heart stopped, along with his feet.
You quickly looked him over, a smile still on your lips as you noticed he stopped before you,
“Hi?” You said with a little giggle.
“Hi.” Gareth said as he snapped out of his little trance, still doing his best to stay calm. But you could see that he was still a bit nervous.
“Your name’s Gareth, right?” You asked him as he stood before you, holding back a little giggle as he nodded, still standing before you. “Do you want to sit down?” You asked him, motioning your pencil to the chair across from you.
“Yeah,” He laughed to himself, clearing his throat and pulling out the chair across from you, “thanks.”
You kept a sweet smile on your lips as you went back to your notes, Gareth watching you happily scribble along the pale blue lines in your notebook. He couldn’t just sit across from you in silence.
“What class is that for?” He asked as he tried to glance into the textbook you were writing from.
“History.” You set your pencil down onto your notebook and closed it, your arms crossed over the notebook as you looked at Gareth with bright eyes, “I’ve never been that great at History so i always like to study up on it a bit more.”
“Makes sense,” Gareth smiled and shrugged, “I’m the same way with Algebra, i just can’t get that stuff down.”
You giggled as you saw him smile, and you noticed a little bit of pink on his cheeks as he heard it. It was quite cute.
“So what brought you over here to me? Aren’t you sitting over there with your friends?” You asked him, making him blush deeper with embarrassment, not knowing you had noticed he and the guys had been sitting there.
“I was.” He started, clearing his throat and doing his best to not make direct eye contact. He knew that would only make him blush worse.
“But, i saw you were sitting alone and thought maybe you’d like some company? I know you’re probably studying or something but I’m pretty good at history, i’d be glad to help if you need any.”
“You know, now that you mentioned it,” You smiled, sliding the textbook you were reading from over between the two of you, “I am having a little trouble remembering some of these dates, do you think you can help me?”
Gareth looked up with bright eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips,
“Yeah!” He quickly hushed himself, clearing his throat as he remembered you were sitting in the library, “Which ones did you need help with?”
“Um, the ones on…” You sat up slightly flipping a few pages back to find the timeline, “this page. I don’t know why, i just can’t seem to get all these dates correctly, i think because everything happened so quickly in World War 1 that i can’t seem to remember which event happened on which day.”
Gareth nodded as you explained your trouble to him, but he tended up once more as he saw you shift in your seat.
“Here, i think it’ll be easier if i came over there.”
You slid the book over to him and stood up from your chair, walking around behind him and sitting in the seat next to his. You could still see a little pink on his cheeks as you smiled to him, moving your chair a bit closer to his.
The boys tried to keep their glances over at the two of you hidden, but as soon as they saw you move closer to Gareth they couldn’t help but stare.
“She got closer to him…” Jeff whispered.
“No, i can see that, but why?” Grant whispered back.
“I can’t tell what they’re talking about,” Eddie started, watching the two of you from across the room, seeing your eyes light up a little as Gareth was pointing out something on the pages of the textbook you’d been reading from, “I mean it looks like they’re just talking about school stuff but who knows…”
They saw a few giggles from you and a nervous laugh from Gareth and only got more excited for him. Giggles were always a good sign.
“You really make all this seem so easy.” You said to Gareth as you looked up from the textbook.
“Really? I don’t know, i guess this stuff always just made sense to me.” He flashed a smile as he looked to you too, and he has finally felt himself comfortable enough to ask you what he’d been dying to ask all this time.
Unfortunately he didn’t plan for the bell to ring as soon as he parted his lips to speak.
“I should get to class,” You said apologetically, carefully shutting the text book in front of you, standing up from your chair, “I want to make sure all that stuff stays fresh in my brain for this quiz. Thanks again for your help,” You placed your hand onto his forearm and gave it a little squeeze, “i really do appreciate it. Now i know exactly who to come to when i’m having a little trouble with history.”
Gareth couldn’t help but smile as he stood with you, mustering out a quiet, “No Problem, anytime.” As he saw you walk to the other side of the table and pack up your backpack.
He glanced back at the guys, who were urging him to grow a pair and ask, not even noticing that you had stepped around him to make your way to your class.
“(y/n).” He said suddenly, even catching himself off guard as you turned back to him.
“Yeah?” You asked, a sweet smile on your lips as you took a few steps back towards him.
“Um…” He cleared his throat, not sure how to start as his eyes darted all over the room, “You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, but i think you’re a really interesting person, and if you weren’t doing anything this weekend i wanted to know if maybe you’d like to do something with me?”
“You mean like a date?”
He felt a blush rise to his cheeks again as he nodded.
“I’d love to!”
His eyes went wide, and he could tell that the other students around you turned in shock.
Out of everyone that had asked to take you out in school you had never taken anyone up on their offer, no matter who was asking or where they were taking you. Just to see that Gareth was the one who had somehow gotten you to say yes was a shock to everyone around you, including himself. This would no doubt be the gossip that ran through all the cliques at school for the next week.
“Really?” He asked quietly, still in shock.
You giggled and nodded,
“Really. It sounds like fun! Here,” You reached into your bag, grabbing a piece of stray paper and a pen from the side pocket, scribbling your name and number down onto it for him with a little heart in the corner, “call me later tonight and we’ll plan something.”
He was speechless.
He stood there for a moment, looking down at the little piece of paper in his hands, and he was hoping to god that this wasn’t just some joke. He snapped from his trance as he felt a hand slap down onto his shoulder, and as he looked up he saw the guys in front of him, wide eyed and just as shocked as he was.
“Is that her number?” Jeff asked him, snatching the piece of paper from Gareths hands as he continued watching you slowly step away.
“It is!” Grant exclaimed as he saw your handwriting, “Damn, i think this is the only time i’ve heard of her giving anyone her number, let alone say ‘yes’ to a date with anyone.”
“Yeah, and that ‘anyone’ is you!” Eddie smiled and patted him on the shoulder, “Good for you bud.”
Gareth felt like he should’ve been basking in his glory. He was the only guy that had ever gotten further than just a conversation and then a rejection with you. Out of every other guy that had tried their chance with you, soccer and basketball players, some of the smartest guys in school, even the class president tried his hand at you at one point or another and yet you chose him. He needed to know why.
Without saying a word to the guys he pushed past them, following behind you to try and catch you before you had made it to your next class. Thank god he could see your hair swaying behind you in the halls. He picked up his pace, dodging past the other students making their way to their classes before finally catching up and giving you a quick tap on the arm. You turned to him with a smile and a confused look,
“Hey, is everything ok?”
“Why did you say yes?” Gareth asked quickly as he tried to catch his breath, his nerves had left him entirely and were replaced with confusion.
“What do you mean?” You asked, quickly moving yourselves against the lockers to keep out of the way of the traffic of the other students.
“I’ve seen guys come up to you and ask you out countless times, not once have you ever said yes to any of them. But you said yes to me when i asked you.”
“I did.” You confirmed for him with a giggle, “So what’s all the confusion about?”
“I just…” He sighed and looked at the tile floor between the two of you, trying hard to not let himself get embarrassed and red faced again, “I’ve seen the kind of guys that have approached you before. You know, the smart guys and the popular guys, people that actually seem to mean something to the other people that go to this school. Im a nobody…”
Your lips curled into a sweet smile once again and you placed your hand to his cheek, gently guiding his eyes back to look into yours,
“You’re not a nobody. Just because you’re not super smart or popular doesn’t mean you’re a nobody. I think you’re a really cool person actually.”
Gareths eyes lit up and a small smile was brought to his lips.
“I think you’re very sweet, and you’re smart, and funny, and i think compared to most of the other guys that’ve asked me out you’re the one with the most personality.”
You shared a chuckle with him and saw a light pink on his cheeks once again as he tried to look away.
“You really want to know why i said yes?”
Gareth nodded slowly.
You giggled again and did your best to hide your own blush,
“Because you were nervous to talk to me. All the other guys had this arrogance to them, and i know the only reason most of them asked me was so they could add on another thing to their list of trophies. They asked me just because they wanted to see if i would actually say yes, but you asked me because you liked me. i could tell that you liked me.”
The other students had started to disappear from the halls into their classes, leaving the two of you almost entirely alone.
“Really?” He asked you quietly, “I thought girls didn’t like guys that got nervous like that.”
Another quick giggle left your lips,
“Well, i like guys that get nervous around me.” You leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, “Remember to call me later, ok? And tell your friends i said ‘hi’.” You motioned behind him and started to step away, and as Gareth turned he could see the guys standing slack jawed behind him.
He turned back but saw that you had already began your walk to class, giving him a little wave as you entered your classroom.
The boys quickly caught up to Gareth and did their best to walk through the halls to get to their own classes, but what they just witnessed would be on their minds for the rest of the day.
“What was that?” Grant asked him as they made their way down the opposite end of the hall, “Did she just kiss you?”
“On the cheek.” Gareth shrugged.
“So she did?” Jeff smiled, “Do you know what this means for you?”
“No?…” He thought to himself for a moment, “Should i?”
“It means that you hold more power than any other guy here. You not only got (y/n) to go out with you but you also got her number-“
“Oh yeah,” Gareth remembered leaving before grabbing that little slip of paper they took from him, “which one of you still has that?”
Grant reached into his jacket pocket and handed it over to Gareth,
“We didn’t copy it down or anything, this is all yours. We wouldn’t want to ruin your chances or anything.”
“Thanks.” Gareth looked down at the little scribble of your name and number on the little piece of paper in his hands, “And i didn’t make her do anything.” He said to Jeff, “I guess things just worked out right and she decided to say yes.”
“Well, how do you feel? You just got the most sought after girl in school to go out with you, you don’t seem too excited about it.” Eddie asked him with a chuckle.
“Good!” Gareth said with a big smile on his face, “Trust me, i’m over the moon about this, it just feels… strange? But i don’t know if that’s the right word.”
The class bell rung through the halls, and the boys said their quick goodbyes before running off to their classes.
“Tell us how it goes later!” Grant said as he ran down the opposite end of the hall.
“Don’t fuck this up!” Jeff laughed as he quickly stepped down the hall.
“Good job Romeo, but he’s right, don’t fuck this up.” Eddie gave him one last pat on the shoulder before slowly moving down the hall, and as Gareth watched the guys slowly disappear down the halls, he took one last look at the piece of paper in his hand.
He smiled to himself as he neatly folded the paper and carefully slipped it into his pocket, strolling slowly towards his classroom.
He didn’t care if he was late or not. Knowing that him just being him was enough for you to like him made him feel like nothing else that day could drag him down.
He couldn’t wait to get home.
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46 notes · View notes
number-onekidqueen · 3 days
Note
hey!! if u aren’t comfy w this that’s completely okay but can u write about luke comforting a non-binary reader!! maybe about his experiences w them? 🫶
𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭? 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐨
I’m alive! Thanks so much for requesting anon, sorry this took so long <3<3. I hope you enjoy this, from what you requested I thought it might be better in a headcanon. Happy pride month everyone!
Luke Castellan x non-binary!reader
Summary: Aphrodite girls can be rude, but at least Luke knows how to make you feel better
warnings: brief anti-non-binary comment, Shelley is a warning, this is kinda cliche sorry, reader is upset.
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Let’s get one thing straight: our boy is a SUPPORTER
You wanna wear more feminine clothing? “You look gorgeous, babe.”
You wanna wear more masculine clothing? “Wow, you look great!”
if anyone ever misgenders you or assumes something he is quick to correct them
Kindly but directly
It’s kinda embarrassing sometimes, but you love that he protects you like that
Anyway, in this scenario, you’re shooting arrows with your cabin and the Aphrodite cabin
After a bit of practice, you have a game going on and you get paired up to verse someone from the opposing cabin.
You get paired with the new and Uber popular younger camper, Shelley.
Spoiler alert: everyone from your cabin is breathing a sigh of relief she hasn’t been paired with them
You shoot a few arrows, you’ve got great aim and you win by miles
Shelley is not a great sport about it
“Well I guess I can’t call you the archery king or queen since you’re not pretty enough to be either.”
You’re immediately upset and don’t really say anything, but walk off hurriedly to your cabin.
(The siblings who heard immediately come to your defence and cuss out at her, and most of the Aphrodite members are gagged and shaking their heads)
Luke is doing cabin checks with some other cabin leaders when he sees you running into your cabin. He follows obviously.
“Hey, hey, is everything ok, babe?”
You don’t really wanna tell him at first, so you say you’re fine.
Your voice cracks
He immediately hugs you tightly, only pulling apart so he can let you guys sit at the edge of the bed
You explain to him what happened, and he looks at you in disbelief and frustration.
“Y/N, babe, you’re prettier, hotter, funnier, smarter and better than she’ll ever be. You don’t have to ever be like a king or a queen, because you’re you, and that’s more than enough. It’s perfect. Just because you don’t feel like a girl or a boy, doesn’t make that a limitation for you. She’s honestly so stupid and mean and overall wrong.”
“I know, I know but it just hurt, y’know?”
He hugs you again, and you’re comforted by the warm and safe way he’s holding you
“Yeah, course. Want me to put her on washing up duty for a month?”
You giggle, and his face lights up, so happy that you’re smiling at him.
“How would you even do that, Luke?”
“Well… I can always find a way.”
(And he found one, all right. Shelley found out that washing up ruins manicures, even if it’s Revlon nail polish. She never said anything like that to you again.)
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m1ckeyb3rry · 2 days
Note
CONGRATS ON 500 FOLLOWERS WOOO!! its been a little over a year since ive found your writting, how time flies T-T Could you possibly write a platonic gojo & reader oneshot where its just snippets of Gojo's first year teaching and the reader is a 1st year student not part of jujutsu society? I'd prefer if the mc had a somewhat introverted personality while being grumpy bc of being forced to attend the school. U can change their behaviour to what u feel more comfortable writing if u want tho!!
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── THE SCHOLAR
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Synopsis: A short snippet of how Satoru Gojo convinces you to be his first student in full.
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Event Masterlist
Pairing: Gojo & Reader
Chapter Word Count: 2.6k
Content Warnings: not many tbh…reader is a d1 hater of gojo and ino ig?? also just a hater in general LMAO she does NOT want to be there
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A/N: wow anon i can’t believe it’s been a year since you found my account and that you’ve stuck around for so long, that means a lot to me!! i apologize for how long this took me and how short it is 😫 it was a bit difficult for me to write gojo as a teacher without feeling like i was just rehashing his dynamic w a previous y/n i’ve written 😓 but i hope this is somewhat close to what you wanted?? also idk if you’ve read my fic pomegranate ink or not but i did throw in a reference to it at one point so props to anyone who catches that hehe
Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.
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You weren’t really sure what cause your classmate had to be as pleased as he was, but for some reason, the boy was bouncing in his seat, scribbling down notes with the fervor of a scholar — though you were quite certain that he was nothing of the sort, at least not when his test scores were taken into consideration. 
“Hey,” you whispered, tossing an eraser at his head when your teacher’s back was turned. “Ino. What’s the big deal? We’re not even learning anything yet, so what are you writing down?”
“Are you kidding me? Gojo just told us an entire story of his past. That’s valuable information!” Ino said. You frowned at him.
“It’s not valuable information, because he’s so prone to embellishment that he’s all but an author at this point. Besides, do you think you, or anyone else for that matter, will ever face seven first grades and come out the winner, without even a scratch?” you said.
“He’s the strongest sorcerer in the world, though, so it’s feasible for him,” Ino said.
“Right,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Maybe for him, but not for anyone else. This is just bragging under the guise of an educational opportunity. We’re never going to be powerful enough to replicate such a feat, so what’s the use in wasting our time talking about it?”
“You’re such a spoil-sport,” Ino huffed. “We’re the first students to ever get to learn from Satoru Gojo, and somehow, you’re complaining about it? That’s ridiculous no matter what way you put it!”
“Is everything okay?” 
Both you and Ino jumped as Satoru Gojo appeared in front of your desks, peering down at you over the lenses of his dark glasses. He didn’t seem annoyed that you were talking while he was ‘teaching’; in fact, he looked excited, as if he wanted to join in the conversation as well. You could imagine him pulling up a chair and resting his chin in his hands as he gossiped with you, and it made you scoff.
“Everything’s fine. We were just wondering when you were actually going to start the lesson,” you said.
“She was wondering that!” Ino rushed to clarify. You shot him a dirty look out of the corner of your eye, which he ignored — you supposed loyalty didn’t mean much to him, as you two weren’t really friends and therefore couldn’t inspire much loyalty in one another regardless. “I was telling her how fascinated I am by the story you were telling!”
“Suck-up,” you hissed.
“Stupid,” he hissed back. Gojo clapped his hands, returning to the front of the classroom with a distinctly unacademic swagger to his step that made you internally fume.
“No worries, we’re just getting to that part! Today, we’ll go over some basic curse theory,” he said, drawing simplistic shapes on the chalkboard to accompany his explanations. As usual, Ino was absorbed by the standard bullshit Gojo spouted, but you found it to be so boring that you actually began to nod off, catching up on the sleep you had missed last night due to a mission which had run later than expected.
Unlike Ino, who had been automatically enrolled in the school because of his family lineage, you had been scouted as a fresh talent by Satoru Gojo himself. It had been a long conversation, and he had only managed to convince you in the end by telling you all about Kaito Hinode, the well-regarded first year teacher who you would study under. Hinode was a sorcerer you believed you wouldn’t have trouble respecting, and so you begrudgingly agreed to attend the school and give the whole notion of ‘jujutsu sorcery’ a shot.
Then Hinode retired, mere weeks before you were set to begin at the school, and his replacement was revealed to be none other than that irreverent, inept, and decidedly unserious man who you had secretly hoped you would not see much more of: Satoru Gojo.
You didn’t even want to be a sorcerer in active duty, but the theoretical side of it interested you to an almost unhealthy extent. You spent days upon days studying the workings of curses and cursed energy, to the point that you could be considered almost an expert. That was the only thing cheering you about coming to the school, that you’d get to discuss with individuals on your level, and so it had been such a heartbreaking disappointment when Gojo, who cared little about the causes and more about the results, was the only proper sorcerer you came into frequent contact with.
The other teachers didn’t have time to entertain your pestering, far too busy with their own students, which meant that Gojo was really your only option. And of course you had tried — really, you had. You had presented him with your questions and ideas, but he had only made a face and told you that studying curse theory to this extent wouldn’t help anyone, and least of all yourself.
He wanted you to learn how to fight, but you didn’t care for that. You didn’t want to fight. If you could spend the rest of your days shut away in a study, reading your books and taking notes on them, then you’d be quite content. You were reluctant to go on missions, even if you were ten times better than your peers, and you often dragged your feet heading into your practical classes. More than once, Ino had had to hoist you over his shoulders and sprint to the training field so that you were not both late, and you knew that you probably shouldn’t be so harsh on him given that, but because it meant that you had to exert yourself on the battlefield instead of rereading your favorite essays, his good intentions only made you resent him more.
“You know, you could really be a great sorcerer,” Gojo said to you one day. You were sitting on a bench while Ino did exercises, ink smudging your hand as you meticulously annotated a book that the principal had given to you. You blinked up at him, amazed once again at how tall he was. He blocked out the sunlight, his shadow looming over you in a way that would’ve been ominous if he wasn’t so typically harmless.
“Hm?” you said, returning to your book when you realized he wasn’t going to say anything of importance. “Sure, I guess I could be.”
“Becoming a first grade isn’t an impossibility for you. It’s something attainable, which is incredibly rare for someone as young as you,” he continued.
“Right,” you said.
“Do you care about that, though?” he said.
“Nope,” you said. “I have no interest in being a first grade sorcerer. It just means more dangerous missions, doesn’t it? I don’t care about all of that.”
“It also means a higher salary,” he said.
“Probably not high enough to make up for the risks,” you said.
“Well, it’s pretty high, though only you can decide if it makes up for the risks or not,” he said.
“Listen, sir, I’m only even here because you told me I could further my studies with people renowned in their fields. Do you mind telling me what field you’re renowned in? Because for some unfathomable reason, you’ve ended up as my teacher,” you said.
“I’m…the strongest sorcerer? In the world?” he said, though the way he phrased it made it seem like he was asking you instead of telling. You shrugged.
“That’s an intrinsic talent. You didn’t learn to be that way; you were just born with it. Sure, you had to practice, but practicing and studying are different. Anyways, even if you are the strongest soldier, I think we’ve established that that’s not something I’m interested in. I was supposed to be under the tutelage of wise and experienced professors, but instead, I’m being instructed by you, who’s barely even a few years my elder and has never taught before,” you said, closing your book and holding it to your chest, smiling tightly at him. “I’m staying here because my parents already paid the tuition fee, but I’m not happy about it. Just so you know.”
“If you’re a first grade sorcerer, you also get more access to information,” he said after a moment. “Stuff behind a million clearances that only people of a sufficiently high rank get access to.”
You froze, your eyes brightening at the thought of this forbidden knowledge. You already knew that you were missing several key pieces in your preliminary research, but no matter how hard you looked, you had never been able to find the answers to the seemingly obvious questions. Was this why? Was it really because you did not have the seniority to warrant the understanding?
“Is that truly the case?” you said.
“I can’t help you in terms of books and learning and all of that boring stuff,” he said. “But if you put in a bit more effort, I can turn you into someone that the higher ups listen to, instead of the other way around.”
You mulled this over before nodding, standing up and leaving your book on the bench.
“Okay. I’ll do as you tell me to, but like I said earlier, I’m not going to be happy about it,” he said.
“Who cares? You can be the gloomiest girl alive!” he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “Let’s work together, Y/N!”
“I’m your student,” you reminded him. “Not your friend.” 
He waved you off. “You’re old enough to be both. Now let’s get to training!”
It was horrible, being Gojo’s favorite student. For one, Ino was jealous — although soon enough he found another mentor to cotton on to, and then your relationship with him mended into something a little more cordial and polite. For another, Gojo had this strange penchant for throwing you into impossible situations and watching in glee as you struggled to get out of them.
His missions also tended to be errands disguised as pressing matters. Once, he made you run around Tokyo, stopping in various stores so that you could improve your conditioning — stores which just so happened to carry the items on his week’s grocery list. Another time, you single-handedly had to exorcise every single curse harassing a nearby bakery — a bakery which just so happened to carry a specialty flavor of cake that was his new favorite. Whenever you complained about the silly chores, he asked if the exercise had made you stronger or not. You would begrudgingly admit that it had, and then he’d tell you that you should just think of it as a win-win scenario and stop whining.
“Y/N!” That was how it always began: he would shout your name as he entered the classroom, usually accompanying it with a wad of paper or some other, similarly harmless object sent flying your way. You’d catch it in one hand and glare at him.
“What?” This would prompt him to explain his ridiculous plan for the day, after which he would turn to Ino and hand him his assignments. He had gotten special permission from the school to train you in this non-orthodox manner, given that you were so far ahead in any material that giving you homework would be redundant and a waste of time for all parties involved. For his part, Ino did not complain, for he had long ago lost interest in training with Gojo, who was admittedly terrible at actually explaining anything of note.
You made a good pair, you and Gojo, or at least as good of a pair as could be made given the circumstances. As the year went on, you grew more and more familiar with the reasoning behind his atypical style, and though you would never cease to complain, it was more lighthearted, a habit instead of a genuine gripe.
“You’ll be promoted any day now,” Gojo told you on the last day of your first year — the last day that he would be your director supervisor. “They’re waiting for you to grow a bit older, but it’s maturity you lack, not talent. If you participate in the Exchange Event next year, you’ll get the recommendations you need without a problem.”
“If?” you said, picking up on what he had left unsaid. “Isn’t it mandatory? Why wouldn’t I participate?”
“It’s mandatory if you’re living on campus, yes,” he said.
“And what cause would I have to not be living on campus?” you said.
“You’re interested in curse theory, aren’t you?” he said. When you nodded, he sighed. “Still? I was hoping you’d have moved on by now…well, I can get an alternate course of study approved for you by the principal, if you want.”
“An alternate course? What would that entail?” you said.
“One of my fellow special grade sorcerers, Yuki Tsukumo, specializes in researching the exact types of things you find so fascinating. If she agrees to it, then you could serve as an assistant of sorts to her. It’ll be like an internship or something. She won’t let you slack off — it’ll be much worse than anything I put you through, that’s for certain — but if that’s the path you want to take, then it’s an option,” he said.
You had never loved him quite as much as you did in that moment. Without even taking a moment to think about it, you nodded enthusiastically, beaming at him.
“Yes! Yes, Gojo, sir, that would be ideal. I’ve read some of the proposals Tsukumo’s submitted to the higher ups, and oh, if I got to work with her, it would be such a dream,” you said.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he said. “She still has to agree to it.”
“Do you think she’ll say no?” you said.
“Maybe at first,” he said. “After she meets you, though? No way. You’re my pupil, after all. You’ll be the most impressive student she’s ever taken under her wing — and I can attest to the fact that you’ll be far and away the most dedicated.”
You supposed you had some things to thank him for, then. The corners of your lips twitched as you bowed your head at him, causing him to grunt in confusion; after all, you had never shown him such deference before.
“You’re not that bad as a teacher,” you said. “You know, for it being your first time, I think you did alright.”
“Yeah?” he said eagerly before composing himself, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Yeah, I guess you turned out just fine.”
“Thank you for everything, Gojo,” you said. “Please know that you’ll always have an ally in me.”
His black sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, just a bit, but enough that you could see the way his eyes softened ever so slightly. Then he reached out and socked you in the arm affectionately.
“Considering how often I butt heads with the higher ups, I might call upon you one day,” he said. “Don’t make that kind of promise lightly, is what I’m saying.”
“I’m not making it lightly,” you said. “If you call upon me, I’ll come. That’s what you do for someone who’s changed your life, right?”
Even the shades he had shoved back into position could not hide the breadth of his smile nor the depth of his fondness. He nodded, slowly at first and then quickly, like he wanted you to be very sure of his agreement.
“True,” he said, and then he patted you on the head. “Guess that means you can call on me whenever you want, too. I’ll be there.”
You smiled at him over your shoulder as you left for the summer and thought that you might never be so fortunate — or unfortunate — as to have a teacher quite like him again.
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m00nj3w3l · 10 months
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Me: oh yeah i tried archery lol
@g0ldenr4ti0: is it because you like that one guy from ONS
me: ..........maybe
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damnprecious · 1 year
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Fun cha cha cha fact: the song was played during a break in a NHL playoff game between Dallas Stars (a team with like five finns and green jerseys) and Seattle Kraken
There's a clip of it on this Yle article, not sure if it can be viewed outside of Finland
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astarlightmonbebe · 10 months
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episode 5 has left me considering the different - and similar - ways taeyoung and kwonsook think about themselves, and how they respond to pain/violence.
kwonsook calls herself a monster, someone who goes crazy in the boxing ring. that monster, she says, was created by her father, and her father used abuse, violence, and emotional manipulation to create that monster. he didn’t treat her like human, so it’s no surprise that the way she talks about herself when she boxes is as if she’s discussing an animal: she gets cornered, gets scared for her life, and lashes out to kill. she calls herself a monster with resignation; it’s not what she wanted to be, but she knows it’s what she was. she ran away to escape that monstrosity, to live as a human, doing good things, but that part of her never really died.
taeyoung, too, calls himself a monster. he’s a SOB, he does thing no one with an ounce of humanity would do. he seemingly has no qualms about what he does, perhaps because he can always justify it to himself, always has an exit prepared for when things really get bad (until, i’m sure, he doesn’t). like kwonsook, taeyoung accepts the label of monster, accepts his own inhumanity, even if they are inhuman in very different ways. whereas kwonsook wants to break away from that monstrous part of her - she’s only returned so she can free herself from that part of herself permanently (and if she finds a way to box without a monster, then...) - taeyoung embraces it. it’s through being a monster that he’s found success, how he secures futures for his athletes, and how he’s able to ‘solve’ their (and his) issues. monstrosity was not imposed on taeyoung, but (due to what we know so far) is something he chose for himself (although the factors surrounding this part of his past are decidedly murky).
in this episode, taeyoung and kwonsook also demonstrate similar responses to violence and (emotional) pain. when taeyoung upsets kwonsook by working with her father behind her back, he offers her an outlet for her anger by punching him. later on, after ahreum has already slapped kwonsook, instead of lashing out, kwonsook offers to let ahreum hit her again if it will make her feel better. in parallel responses, both ahreum and kwonsook debate taking that opportunity to hurt, but decide not to (kwonsook because she’s taking a chance on taeyoung, or moreso giving him another one, and ahreum because she decides that she doesn’t owe kwonsook that, that kwonsook is beneath her in terms of boxing, no longer on her level). 
kwonsook learned to respond to pain at a young age. in boxing, you can’t flinch from the hit - you have to learn how to take the pain, absorb it, and get back up to hit again. outside of the rink, kwonsook absorbs the pain, but she doesn’t hit again. she’s experienced firsthand what her hits can do to people, and that terrified her. after all, she only boxed so that she could protect her mother. so when confronted with violence and pain, she takes the hit, because pain is what she knows and understands. it’s the emotions behind it that are hard for her. pain is easy for kwonsook, because she’s used to living through it, surviving it; beneath it, she’s always empty. she’s never really cared about boxing; it was what she had to do. the lee kwonsook that was a boxing genius was a monster she ran from, after all. but in order to break away from that monster, she has to come to understand the emotional investment of her fellow female boxers. before, they were just her opponents, never her friends, but now she has to face their own feelings about the sport, the passion they have for boxing that she never felt. like ara said, she didn’t feel happiness about winning, and kwonsook has never lost, so she’s never had to live with that humiliation, either. how her feelings will change in relation to boxing will likely be a reckoning for her.
taeyoung, on the other hand, is confronting his fair share of non-boxing sanctioned boxing. even though kwonsook is the boxer, it’s taeyoung who’s been touched by ‘true’ violence in this present timeline. his life is quite literally on the line, which has been shown again and again. he’s been ambushed by her father, threatened, blackmailed, and beaten up by chairman nam’s guys. he lives on the edge, anxious at every shadow, which is chewing him alive. to him, kwonsook’s anger is much easier to deal with. he knows she might hurt him, but his potential to hurt her is so much more (and if he does, in that case he’d find her anger justified, and probably let her beat him to death or something if what we’ve seen of his feelings for her is an indication of anything), and she might hurt him, but she’d never hurt him as much as other people in his life at the moment would (i.e. by killing him, or hurting the people he cares about). taeyoung is used to weathering the storm of other people’s dislike; he’s the scumbag, and he does bad things, deserves other people’s anger when it’s directed at him. 
both taeyoung and kwonsook want to resolve things through violence. i think it’s telling that despite being two emotionally aware people, they both consider other people’s feelings to be so easily taken care of. they want the quick, instant pain, and then they want to get it over with. because the violence is what they’re used to, and to a degree it’s what they both think they deserve. however, what lies beneath that, what doesn’t go away with a single hit, is much harder for them to confront and understand. 
#star stumbles#my lovely boxer#kdrama#my thoughts#in boxing you get hit and you hit someone else and whoever is still standing wins#and it's basically that way in the whole world of (physical) sports#and it's going to be so so good when they both end up embroiled in the very emotional situation that they both want to avoid at all costs#ie their feelings for each other / betrayal / broken trust / fear#i think i ended this poorly i kind of got distracted and honestly...honestly i don't KNOW what their response to violence really says#or how it's going to be played with throughout the drama#this text is the bare bones of what i can understand through what i've seen#and oh yes even though i know some people might argue that they're not emotionally aware i think they are...#both very emotionally mature. despite their actions they both know what's up in their hearts#and they're very adept at reading one another (or at least taeyoung is towards kwonsook i think she's getting there but she's also trying to#distance herself from him so. i do think she's ignoring some of what she'll probably reinterpret later on#nobody made taeyoung a monster he chose that path vs kwonsook left the path as soon as she was able to#and her getting punished for his bad deeds...even though at the end she admits they're both scumbags for going through with this deal#because she's understood that she'll hurt boxing whether good things come out of it or not#because she'll be disrespecting ahreum and everyone else by rigging the match and losing on purpose#which will probably add to her conflict later on#and taeyoung simultaneously struggles with not wanting to string her along vs stringing her along#because he's been upfront with her about how he's a bad person and she sees it too but ALSO#he can't bring himself to tell her some of the worst things because he wants her to see him differently#like he wants to act like a good person for her but also knows he needs her#honestly their relationship dynamic reminds me so much of my liberation notes#it's the ahjussi / disenchanted two people approaching each other and something ending up growing there where they thought nothing would#again
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malinowaj · 2 months
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have i spent the past 3-ish months telling my friend i haven't written anything in 10 years and won't start now? yes.
have i spent the past 2 days writing a rough plot draft for an au where wilhelm is a footballer and simon is a popstar, spanning the whole season, creating an entire fictional football league complete with clubs? maybe also yes.
am i going to write this? i guess all signs also point to yes.
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soshinee · 9 months
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i really have loved being in japan in general so far but most of my students are so fucking mean to me 😭😭 like they’re just so so sooo mean they parrot and mock me when i call someone’s name and laugh when i talk in general and it’s like how am i supposed to curry their favor or gain their respect when they are openly making fun of me from the second i walk into their classroom for the first time💀
#i think part of it is that 90% of the students are boys and they’re all super jocks so they don’t care abt english at all#also a lot of them are second semester seniors. and i was in their shoes not that long ago#which i understand. but like i wish they would at least be somewhat decent to me😭#like i wld fully be willing to say okay fuck the worksheet fuck the grammar let’s just shoot the shit. but none of them want to speak to me#also the ones who know i know japanese just speak japanese to me so i just stare at them blankly#at least in the us there were limits to the shit we cld say abt teachers in class because everyone was speaking english#to be fair i really struggle w conversational jpn & slang so most of the time i rlly don’t get the nuances#of what they’re saying to each other. and i can’t respond well at all. but i get the gist#its hard bc i’m new and also paired with new teachers for some classes so they don’t respect any ‘authority figure’ in the room#but like come on. don’t bully me.#i think part of the problem is there’s actually literally no consequences for anything. no detention or suspension or calls to parents#or getting benched for sports matches. which i think would actually get them to care#cuz there are things that technically i could try to do but there’s no way to actually enforce anything#idk. thinking out loud. the classes that have been decent & engaged have been super fun for me and energizing#but the others are rlly tough like so tough.#okay sorry i know no one cares
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thehardkandy · 2 months
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Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove
#i did have a really nice week last week but now im back to everything feeling busy#(its not really that busy)#and oh i miss being slow like idk ever since i was a literal child doing ONE excursion weekly#for an hour#always felt like such s draining burden#and tbh i would like to know why thst is because while it's easy to see as poor habit as an adult reinforcing itself#as a kid i was always made to do things. see people.#i did a summer camp every year at least during the day#i did sports i went hiking in forests#but i remember so distinctly like an age where i stopped asking my parents to try new things#because i would get so excited!!!! but then every week it would become this overwhelming presence#despite being something that i actively enjoyed#and it eventually felt so awful i was like okay no more wanting things you dont use them wisely#like ouch yeah actually that's a big one. wanting things usually wraps back#around to shame or guilt just about always#anyway how is this relevant to travelling?#it's just that i have to travel tomorrow and i have a doctors appointment Friday i have to go to in person#ive changed beds ive slept in 3 times in 5 days#and all i can say at the end of it is that even these little things are JUST enough to be on edge#to feel like im putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes and pretend nothing bad is gonna happen#even thougu DEFINITELY something bad is going to happen#but of course it doesnt because this is all benign stuff ive done a trillion times before of no note#crazy how complicated it can be to be a person#it is why i dream of living in a small village where i am an apprentice tradesperson and i live simple house#and the house you can walk to anywhere you need to anywhere you need in an your#but no one is that urgent about anything anyway.#beautiful little place that has never actually ever existed for anyone in anytime#but i am still wanting to scream and pull my hair out just asking why why cant everything slow down and be smaller
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peaceblank · 1 year
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The med school primary application asking if my work and activities are meaningful, like by simply going out of my way to do anything doesn’t have some kind of impact on my life.
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mars-ipan · 6 months
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HOOO my brother just touched a nerve
#marzi speaks#he asked if i wanted to fish with him and our grandpa#i declined bc i only really like flyfishing#HE goes ‘oh alright. i don’t mean to be misogynistic [bad sign] but it’s kind of a more masculine thing anyways’#i am immediately reminded of one of the first times i became infuriated at gender roles#my great uncle was taking a lot of cousins on a fishing trip#i asked to come with (i knew how to fish at this point- my aunts had taught me)#he said no- fishing is a man’s sport#my mother tore him a new one when she found out#so THAT memory is fresh in my mind#combined with the fact that i am now trans and have had my masculinity called into question#so i get Irritated. and go off on him about assigning arbitrary gendered attitudes to things that don’t require them#and how inappropriate it is for him to assign or revoke from me certain gender labels over the act of throwing string on a stick in water#and he pulls out my LEAST FAVORITE defense: well it’s not a big deal#‘it’s not a big deal’ is the FASTEST way to piss me off. because it’s CLEARLY a big deal to me if i’m bothering to get in your face about it#it’s so damn dismissive i hate it.#so i yell a bit more (‘you’re embarrassing me’ ‘be embarrassed i do not care’) and eventually get myself to a point where i go#‘Look. i’m setting a boundary here. don’t assign values of masculine or feminine or whatever to anything i do bc that isn’t your place’#and he goes. ‘okay. i’ll try for you. for YOU specifically. and i’m not gonna be perfect’#which is frustrating as HELL. every promise this motherfucker makes comes with 50 disclaimers like he’s signing a goddamn contract#so i tell him ‘quit with all the extra shit i’m not expecting perfection you’re a goddamn human being. just tell me you’ll try.’#so he starts again and i have to cut him off after ‘i will try’ so he doesn’t put his damn foot in his damn mouth again#UGGGHHHH. GODDD#i’ll probs apologize to him about blowing up later and try to explain how he touched a nerve#but right now i am going to be frustrated#also i feel like he’s gonna start saying too much because he can never let dust settle and frustrate me all over again so is it worth it?#i dunno#but AGH. GOD
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buck-yyyy · 2 years
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repeat after me kids: just because they’re not talking to you doesn’t mean they hate you and are replacing you with their boyfriend!
#sigh#one of my friends hasn’t talked to me on the phone in like a week and a bit because she’s spending all of her time with her boyfriend#and like. i know that he’s a priority yk? they’re really happy together and i’m beyond happy for her#but like.#i’m getting left behind#we usually talk every night and now it’s rare i even get a text back in two hours when i ask if she’s free to facetime#i’ll text her at 6 and won’t get a response until 11:30 or later because she’s spent her whole night with him and hasn’t bothered to respond#and i know she’s on her phone at least part of the time because A. she’ll sometimes still snap me and B. she’s always on her phone#and i mean i get that a snap is way less energy than a text#but it’s not hard to just say ‘ah sorry i’m with [name] can i call you when he leaves?’#she never bothers to try and find a time to talk with me#and it’s making me want to isolate myself because it’s bringing in self deprecating thoughts#which is really really bad because that’s usually the start of a depressive episode for me- self isolation.#she’s making me feel shitty even though it’s not really her fault#i feel like s3 will right now#i hate that we all had to grow up#because everyone is doing stuff at the normal age while i’m getting left behind#one friend is in college having fun and meeting guys that she’s happy with#another is in love and is in the SWEETEST relationship and is incredible at her sport#another is also in love and is also doing incredible at her sport and spends nearly all her time with her boyfriend#meanwhile- me? sure i’ve been in love but i kept it to myself and repressed it for a year.#i don’t leave my house because i only have a couple friends and the ones i do are too busy with their other friends and boyfriends to#have any time left to hang out with me#and there’s nothing close to my house that i can go do by myself#i’m stuck on the same girl i’ve had feelings for for months#i just feel stuck and left behind#like all my friends have grown up and i’m just permanently a kid who doesn’t have anything going on in their life#i hate high school. and i hate myself.#fuck.#tw vent
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husberttee · 2 years
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i love having never been in therapy and having 0 things diagnosed cause i just kinda sit here like this might be mental/regular illness but who knows maybe im just like this
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Not to pretend I'm no longer losin my damn mind or anythin but it does make me feel kinda sick now. Thinkin bout the way I was this close to convincing myself I'm (still) in love w/ him
#i mean i don't know if it's totally on me but. he didn't say anythin about it this time#or make me say anything#he's just been.....so totally fucking different i forgot what he's really like#i always do that shit happens n i feel fucking awful for a day or two n then it's just gone#i've like....compartmentalized him into two different people n they don't even match his subsystem#it's the real him the one that he always seems to regress back into. the one who hates me n fucks w/ my head for sport apparently#who treats me like a toy n makes me do things he knows i fucking hate n calls me every degrading thing he can think of#but i just. forget all of that when he gets like this. i know it's just pretend at least i tell myself i know that but#it's fucking hard to even wanna remember when he takes care of me like he said he would. he makes the thoughts go away n my head go quiet#he doesn't push anythin i don't wanna do n tells me i'm pretty n that i don't need to change anything n that it's not my fault i'm sick#praises me for eating cause he knows how hard it is for me n reminds me to take my meds n i just. how am i supposed to fight that#i know it's all pretend but it's all i ever fucking wanted#i can't function in this reality#i tried so damn hard n it just. it all falls apart anyway#i'm not built for this i need too much n have too little to give n i can't even fucking communicate in a way people understand#right now i don't wanna see him n it scares me knowing how easy it's for him to just. make me give myself up completely#but at least i don't delude myself into thinkin it won't happen again#believing that never made it easier to resist it just made the shame worse#i'm already ashamed enough all the time#i'm really scared i do still love him though#he's gonna fucking break me#spdrvent
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