#and i really want to write her a letter explaining but i dont know what id say

[newtkive]

pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]

ch. 2 - drama queen core

summary: minho's drama finally catches up with him, but newt becomes a hero.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

THE GLADE

[ 12:08 PM ]

y/n: gm pookies

newt: it’s the afternoon.

y/n: yeah well

ur east coast

newt: so are you y/n

y/n: FINE BAD MORNING THEN ARE U HAPPY?

minho: drama queen is awake

newt: you’re the drama queen min let’s be fr

minho: u want me to die be honest

newt: see .

tommy: hey guys :3 been waiting for you all

y/n: awwww tommy <3 gm

tommy: morning sweetums

minho: ew stop

newt: how did you sleep?

tommy: good! used my new heated pillow

newt: not you

minho: not you

tommy: wtf

WHO THEN?? THERES LIKE 7 OTHER PPL IN HERE

minho: he means y/n

and there’s 4 other people not including newt and y/n dumbass

y/n: oh

why just me????

newt: cuz you stayed up til 6 am

y/n: ..

how do you know that

newt: i saw you were active on discord

gally: doesn’t that mean you were awake too then

newt: ok and?

minho: thats crazy newt

newt: no it isn’t

i just casually saw it

y/n: hehe

im ok i need to sleep more. sims 4 was really consuming me

why were you awake??

newt: up for work

minho: you get on discord before work?

chronically online..

newt: can you choke and pass out and hit your head please

minho: THE WAY U WANT ME DEAD IS INSANE

y/n: he’s gotta check on his discord hoes before hitting the grind

newt: there are no discord hoes

unless you count thomas

and i don’t

tommy: well why not

newt: because you disgust me

tommy: love u too :3<3

minho: y’all about to kiss aren’t you

newt: never say that shit again im outside your door with a b*mb

minho: why censor it

just blow me up it’s my grandmas house anyway. u want to jump her that bad????

gally: blow that bitch up i say

y/n: HELLO???!,!!

gally: minho not grandma

she loves me cuz im so tall

minho: tall people always gotta remind you they’re tall 😒

like we get it bigfoot

gally: shut up tinkerbell

y/n: you’re somewhat tall minho

minho: any man under 6’0 is considered short

y/n: yeah but newt is 6 ft trapped in a 5’10 body so not totally true

newt: what does that even mean

minho: give me a break

i can tell you exactly what that means

she wanna hit

newt: stop

tommy: don’t get his hopes up

newt: dude

stfu

y/n: what newt said

gally: can we appreciate the only one actually over 6 ft here

minho: no.

tommy: im the same height as newt!!!!

y/n: yea but ur like 3 ft trapped in a 5’10 body tommy not the same

tommy: oh ..

minho: kind of real

newt: can someone kick gally i’m tired of seeing his fucking name on my phone

gally: then turn your phone off don’t you have old ladies to tend to at the library

newt: yeah and they all love me

y/n: so real

if i was old i’d go in there and imagine you’re my young boyfriend and cling to everything u say

tommy: true im the old ladies

y/n: LMAO

minho: write a fanfic y/n why don’t you

newt: yeah you both are old and not beating the dementia allegations

y/n: IM THE YOUNGEST HERE

ur just mad you’re old as dirt

tommy: youth has left you newt and it has turn you bitter in your old age.

minho: thomas knows big words who knew

newt: which word in that sentence was big??

y/n: shut up minho

minho: wtf did i do

y/n: idk but i imagine you sitting there typing on your little phone and i got pissed

minho: WHAT???!.‘wKWHFO

newt: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

yeah chubby little fingers hitting the wrong letters on his iphone 8

minho: im leaving

tommy: dont leave i forgive you for what you said

minho: i don’t give a damn

y’all mad y’all are all fake im the realest i’ve been prophesizing and reading scriptures 7000 years before y’all fake asses were born be so for real right now

y/n: not reading that

congrats

or sorry for what happened idk

about to drink my coffee in a wine glass

tommy: just drink wine

newt: it’s noon tommy??

tommy: ok and?

newt: explains a lot

minho: no coffee for me this new year only water and pussy juice fr fr

[ newt removed minho from the group ]

tommy: woah

y/n: woah..

newt: i can’t take it anymore

alby: How did you get that access..?

newt: don’t worry about it

in times of need i have to step in like that

y/n: hi alby!

alby: Hey y/n!

tommy: you’re such a hero newt

gally: that was deserved

who wants to play minecraft rn

y/n: me!!

alby: I’ll play, I’m off work today.

y/n: let’s go to the desert i want a camel

gally: alright but then the caves after i wanna mine

newt: if you mine with her you gotta bring extra food and storage when she dies so you can pick up the fallen items

gally: i forget you’re her designated babysitter

y/n: oh please no he isn’t

and i’ll bring my own food

newt: you always say that and then leave it in the stove oven

y/n: WELL I WONT THIS TIME

newt: sure ok

i’ll get on after work

[ alby added minho to the group ]

minho: when i get you.

newt: why did you add him back alby

alby: He was harassing me.

newt: be a man and take it

gally: im leaving

[ gally left the group ]

minho: im going to throw up and die

newt: im staying out of this

minho: (guy who caused it) im staying out of this

y/n: why does gally alwyas leave 😔

newt: why question a gift from the heavens

tommy: get online y/n gally is attacking my dirt house w a pickaxe :((((

y/n: NO IM COMING

minho: im coming to your work newt

newt: okay im locking the door early then

minho: i’ll smash through the glass idc

newt: i’m leaving my shift is over at 1 today.

minho: i’ll use life360 on you

newt: i deleted that app

minho: i’ll stand in the middle of the street

newt: ok let me position my car in front of you

just come to my apartment and we can play w them on pc and xbox

minho: …. fine but i hate your guts

newt: fine

y/n: HURRY GALLY IS ATTACKING MY SHED NOOOOWWW

newt: i’ll just rebuild it

minho: i’ll set it on fire just wait

[isadollie]

hi! i saw that your reqs are open and i really wanted to ask if you could write something for manjiro! the reader being adopted by the sanos and you showing their friendship and how mikey acts like a big brother (by 1 year c:) its okay if u dont wanna write it!!

big brother, again

— [manjiro sano]

platonic, mikey as an older brother, gn!reader

When Manjiro first met you, he wasn't sure.

He had a feeling that you appeared almost out of nowhere; he used to run around causing chaos with Baji, exploring the world together. But when he got back home, tired after spending a whole day with his friend, the house suddenly felt smaller.

He became a brother? Again?

Manjiro wasn't the tallest kid in area, yet you seemed so small to him. So little, so... different.

He already got used to Emma, he started to like, even love her and take care of her. But now he has to adapt to a new situation all over again.

When Manjiro first met you, he wasn't sure.

He talked about it to his friends, even introduced you to them, but you seemed so shy it was almost frustrating. His friends just greeted you politely and didn't think much of it. But Manjiro couldn't quite understand it.

He saw how you play with Emma, making cute little bracelets together, for each other, and for different people as well. He saw Shinichiro laughing with joy as you handed him his own little beaded bracelet.

Manjiro couldn't help but scoff. How come everyone accepted you so quickly?

When Manjiro first met you, he wasn't sure.

One time when he was practicing his fighting with Baji, he wanted to shout at you, when you entered and disturbed. He became speechless though, when he saw how you offer another of those little beaded bracelets to Baji. It even had his name on it.

After you quickly ran off, Baji just laughed, throwing the tiny piece of jewelry to the ground. Manjiro's eyes widened.

How dare he treat his little sibling like that? How dare he throw your work, your courage, your feelings to the ground like they mean nothing?

Manjiro didn't feel like explaining his reasons. He simply told his friend to leave. He couldn't understand his own behavior.

When Manjiro first met you, he wasn't sure.

After wandering around the town for a few hours, he came back home. All he wanted was just to shut himself in his room and think about his feelings.

He saw a little bag on his desk; something that wasn't there when he left earlier. His eyes widened dramatically as he opened it.

A bracelet. Just for him.

The small beads were shining in different colors. Some of them had tiny letters on them, spelling the words "big brother".

Inside the bag, there was also a little note, written in an unprecise handwriting.

"I'm sorry you had to wait for so long. I wanted the one for you to be perfect"

Manjiro looked down on his wrist, where he put on the bracelet just a few seconds ago. It's not the prettiest, not his style, not in his favourite color. But he couldn't care less. And he won't ever want to take it off again.

When Manjiro first met you, he wasn't sure.

But now he is.

He knows he has another little sibling, another addition to the list of people he promised himself he'll protect, no matter the cost.

Another person he will fail to protect.

hello anon!! i know this isn't exactly what you wanted but i hope you like it anyway:)

if you want to request something too, check out the pinned post on my blog!!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hallo! You know who is someone I don’t see many people appreciating? Ganyu! Imagine a neurodivergent creator reader who is the one that finds her when she’s going through one of her crises when she doesn’t know if she belongs with the humans or Adepti and reader can understand her because that’s how they feel as well about life?? And about their old world and sometimes this one??

I feel that they could potentially bond over that and maybe even realize Ganyu is also somewhat neurodivergent in some way?? Or she’s very socially inept in some ways and reader can relate and share in those worries so the two just sometimes sit together shoulder to shoulder and just not say anything and just relax and everyone is confused??? Anyways that’s all for me, keep up the great work! :D

-Bonk anon

GOD, NEURODIVERGENT ASKS, JUST HAVE MY WHOLE HEART IN YOUR HANDS 😭😭🤲🤲💙💙

JUST TAKE IT I DONT NEED IT-

ALSO LESSER ASKED FOR/LESS POPULAR CHARACTERS??

SIGN ME TF UP-

Ahhh, look at her... I would die for her, kill for her... either way, what bliss ✨️

also fuCK mihoyo, she’s fat and beautiful and so thats how she gonna be written. 😤

saw this in my mailbox forever ago and as i was workng thru them, was just like, “damn that Ganyu ask is so close im so excited to write abt her <33”

☆

Sun: Neurodivergent!Reader, Gender Neutral (they/them)

Orbit: tiny scenario +headcanons

Stars: Ganyu, my dearest.

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: talk of low self-esteem & Trigger Warnings: talk of low self-esteem, neurodivergent struggles, talk of missing meals (ganyu wants to schedule out her lunch-breaks).

when you’d initially explained to the (actually scarily strong irl) genshin characters who’d been claiming all kinds of wild stuff about you (”The Last Descender! The World Player!”)

you’d been in Liyue at the time, and out of everyone, the first you could see believed you were a mortal on Earth before (and not ruling it 💀) was Ganyu.

She’d looked shocked, like the others, but you could quickly see her get more and mire visibly twitchy and excited as you explained further

(rlly unlike the just,, utter confusion on Xiao’s, Zhongli’s, Shenhe’s, and Cloud Retainer’s faces, so convinced of your divinity there’s no way you could be human- even just acting like one-)

but you did, and Ganyu loved it.

you actually didn’t interact much for the first month you were stuck in a gacha video game (the other alloegenes, gods, adepti, and citizens, including international, pulling you around for opinions on this and that)

But one night you couldn’t sleep (the Qixing provided amble spacious housing in a temple already apparently dedicated to you, one you’d never seen in game)

It’d been… a rough day.

Everywhere you went, miscommunications followed, and you still didn’t really know how to mask properly around these just- well, since they were real, aliens

sure, they mimicked stuff about humans, but not the people/culture you’d mostly been around, (and the adepti had their own code of behavior, which was so complex you’re sure they should’ve made an actual social behavior manual by now)

but you just couldn’t escape the endless cycle, not only that, but your executive function had apparently forgotten to keep up with some important appointments or otherwise things you had needed to get done earlier, so you were scrambling to send a late letter to Fontaine inventors who needed to get the project started in 3 days, which is how long the letter takes to get there, oh gods, and you needed to check on Inazuma, apparently Seirai island is getting lightningy again and the Raiden Shogun wants you in person as soon as possible to aid her with it, but you need to attend a Knights of Favonius meeting in 2 days-

Yeah. You were stressed, and honestly? crumbling under the pressure.

So you’d snuck out of your rooms (dodging the patrolling guards) and went to the office of the one person who knew who’d understand

Ganyu. Scribbling and mumbling in her office to herself, late into the night

She’d jumped at you slipping in without knocking (avoid the Milieth at all costs, even tho ur literally god and you’ve been told you can do whatever you want mostly)

and knocked a whooooollleee stack of papers to the floor, scattering it everywhere 😭

you’d scrambled to start picking them up,, but then she stops you frantically saying “No, no, it’s okay, it’s not a big deal I promise, there’s no need to cry over these silly papers, heaven-sent!”

what??

oh.

oh no.

it’d just been one more thing you’d messed up on top of all of today (and tbh this whole month whirlwind of becoming some kind of god of the continent)

and Ganyu was, Ganyu <3

she was sweet and kind and so overwhelmingly helpful, how could you make a mess of her life too-

“Emperor? Huangdi?”

you’re just sitting on the floor now, but you startle when she gently holds your upper arms, calling your name very softly, so soft if she wasn’t saying you actual name you’d think she was talking to something else, something precious to her

the qilin guides you up, easily supporting your weight, she directs you to her couch, and manuvers you into laying your head across her plush thighs, the half-adepti’s pants aren’t as skin-tight like in-game, they’re actually the cosiest fabric you’ve ever laid on (or maybe that’s just a combination of your fragileness and her thick thighs)

she rubs your shoulder and back, offering a tissue (when did she get that-)

and that’s when you know you’ve chosen your first friend in Teyvat perfectly :)

◇

you sneak out nearly every night for those first few months in Liyue (not including travel, which you tried to limit or you’d both make an excuse why she needed to come with lol)

just to sneak into her office, and you’d nearly cried a second time on her when she offered some notes about both standard human and adepti behaviors (after all, she’s had to study them both to fit into both)

Ganyu learns to do your hair and you do hers 🥺 she can’t bring herself to trust anyone to cut her hair but you, and you always try to do styles that don’t get in her way <3

like buns with a braid wrapped around it, or two space buns (Keqing didn’t say anything but Ganyu gossiped to you about how she could see a little smile on her face whenever she ran into Ganyu that week, obviously cutely thinking how they matched)

While of course the first thing Ganyu did was propose to help you schedule/manage your time so you wouldn’t have to rely on your non-existent executive function-

you’d also made sure to literally plop ur chin over her shoulder to make sure you saw “break” AT LEAST once a day, now that she was incorporating herself a little into ur schedule too (Ganyu fought tooth and nail to get rid of that lunch-break, but then you threatened to also not eat, and she caved so fast LMAO)

(bc she’s a die-hard workaholic ofc she wants this, after you heard abt her schedule in-game you’d thought it was lucky she was not fully human or she would’ve dropped dead, but now even moreso watching that horror in real time 💀)

which!! she!! is so!! (at this point you usually just squeeze her round cheeks a little too hard before then wrapping your arms as far as they can go around her torso and squeezing even harder-)

After a couple of “your trauma 🤝 my trauma” nights, she honestly understood really well where your limits were so to speak, what you could and simply couldn’t do

and was the first one willing to explain to people you have executive dysfunction (and was quick to cut off any “just try harder/pull yourself up by your bootstraps/just believe in yourself” nonsense when if came to your disabilities, even tho those were few and far between moments if any)

afterall, people had expected the same from her, and she frequently fell into that thinking herself (it also didn’t help that as you tried to give her a normal schedule at first, which benefitted her human side more, it felt like the Qixing was stumbling to keep up with the supernatural workload now being distributed)

Ganyu knew it had been your influence originally that helped her when she’d had her workload lightened/then followed by the traveler when she ran off

(and regardless of the truth too, when you’d finally gotten the courage to tell her how you actually interacted with Teyvat, unable to steer actions from what the plot dictated)

she’d still attributed it to you, (”well, you could’ve always just picked up your things and left, yes? But even if it was ‘pre-planned’ like you say, you still wanted to follow through and were… ahem, h-happy for m-me, right?” you’d smacked right into her you stimmed so relieved)

You didn’t exactly know how to explain it, bc everyone was really accepting,

from citizens to nobles, officials and guards, to vision-users, gods and other supernatural beings that inhabited Teyvat

no one judged you for unmasking/stimming, but in that way that meant they didn’t really understand what was different about you, they just knew you were and they’d still decided to treat you with the same adoration anyway

but Ganyu,

she treated you the same but knew what stims you did when you were happy or excited, what ones comforted you, what your latest verbal stims were, and what your “classics” were (u never had to tell her, she just learned them quick and all on her own, bless this woman 🛐 )

Ganyu understood all the good and all the bad and saw you unmasked and still laughed so hard at your jokes she fell into your side and always asked another question about your hyperfixations/interests

you’d quickly realized there were a lot of neurodivergent overlaps between stuff Ganyu did and what you did

(whether or not she herself was, you just assumed yes based on what you researched, but there wasn’t any official testing in teyvat)

it makes more sense to you after applying the neurospicy filter to all her actions why she’s so obsessed with work (she hyperfixates on certain projects the Qixing has going, and has a long-term passive fixation on scheduling/stationary/related office work stuff)

but this also meant you understood why she was always asking for more about you, your mortal world, your time here, where you wanted to go in teyvat, what you wanted to do, how’d you feel when the game did this to someone, what about-?

needless to say you couldn’t (and didn’t have to 🥲) contain your stims at knowing you became a slight hyperfixation for her

she got all embarassed and blushy about it!!! <333😩 (and did that cute thing where she just kinda sways in place holding her hands together when bashful or nervous ✨💔✨)

unrelated to above, but your favorite thing (besides sightseeing or eating at yet another new restaurant in liyue) to do together is go do something childish

like playing children’s games (hopscotch, or hill sliding in ganyus case) from both ur childhoods

u thought itd be a good idea to get Ganyu to relax a little more and have more fun outside her job!

(again, unrelated bc idk im scattered with these headcanons, the cryo user loves when you help her pick new outfits at stores not bc she wants to impress u what)

ok last unrelated headcanon i promise,

Ganyu wasn’t overly affectionate before, honestly she was always going too fast to stop for those kind of casual touches (and when was there time in her old scedule)

but after a month of getting comfortable around each other, she subconciously gets up from her desk (mid-reading a file/carrying it with her lmao)

and sits on her office couch, making room for you to lay on her (and she is the perfect pillow)

(you dont point it out, you know she’ll get too embarassed, and you refuse to lose Ganyu cuddles <3)

☆

im so glad im not the only one who took one look at Ganyu’s problems in life and was like, “damn im neurospicy, ur so right, blue-frosty-magical-half-deer-secretary-woman”

btw it’s on the masterlist “turn on the background music?” but here’s really long playlist I made for sagau stuff!

mostly game music but also other fun songs i hope fit, mostly based of my blog so it’s not dark (as the other playlists under SAGAU search on spotify looked dark too lmao)

Safe Travels Bonk Anon,

💀♒

I mentioned making a kofi before, but I think I’ll start including it in posts too if u guys dont mind!

An iced coffee? For me?? :O

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

[imakemywings]

I am on the feanorians side of the silmaril debate and do see Dior and elwing as thieves. And I hope you dont see this as an attack i just want to explain my reasoning for the way i see it. But to me at least the stealing of the ships is an entirely seperate thing that happened, I know it happened because the silmarils got stolen in the first place. But it has nothing to do with the Dior and elwing part of the silmaril story. And thats why I dont bring up the stealing of the ships when talking about this

And I feel like Dior and elwing are thieves because they have the feanorians most treasured family heirloom and are refusing to give it back to them. And I think calling them thieves isnt exactly right because they didnt steal it from the feanorians and luthien and beren didnt either but it is wrong of them to not give it back. And the feanorians did first write letters asking to be given the silmaril back. The feanorians were wrong in kinslaying to try and get it back, but I do understand how they got to the conclusion to do so. They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever, so they really do have this need of getting it back even without considering the fact that its rightfully theirs to begin with.

As for for Dior and elwings part in this, I have more understanding for Dior than elwing. Dior is a new king and not well known to his people. And the silmaril to him represent a great deed done by his parents and their love for each other and I wouldnt be suprised if the silmaril was starting to become as important to Dior and his people as it was to the feanorians. So him not giving it away makes sense it has personal importance to him and giving it away could mark him as a weak king which is not something he needs. And it is also the fact that we dont know how much he knows about the feanorians oath and what it means he may know nothing at all about it.

Elwing on the other hand is completely different, I do not understand why she does the things she does at all. I will just be discussing the lead up to the kinslaying and not what happens during it, because I have read posts saying that her mental health may have crumbled during it and I do concede they have a point. But that doesnt explain any of the lead up to it. The feanorians ask for the silmaril and she tells them no and its like doesnt she realize that just like last time this can lead to a kinslaying, like does the thought even enter her mind and I dont understand how she could not see it as the likely outcome bu then she doesnt prepare for the eventuality at all. Its so puzzling to me, shes the leader and responible for the safety of everyone there but she doesnt seem to care about it. She doesnt even send her sons to cirdan were they would be safe from the feanorians. For elwing this has all happened before and she does nothing to change what will happen and it doesnt make sense.

So yea im on the feanorians side in this because the silmaril is rightfully theirs and while they did bad bad things to get them back i understand where they are coming from. Something i dont understand with elwing.

Hey anon, I definitely don't see this as an attack; I do appreciate your reasonable tone here.

If you're interested in other more detailed explorations of Elwing and her motivations, definitely check out my Elwing meta tag, because others on on tumblr have done some great work there.

The point I think the other anon was making about the swan ships is that fans can be very quick to condemn Luthien and her descendants as "thieves" of the Silmarils, but say nothing about the Feanorians' theft of the swan ships. No, the events aren't related, but one is a much clearer-cut case of theft than the other, yet it's the one that's swept under the rug to attack those who stand in opposition to the sons of Feanor (SoF). But you're right, it's not relevant to discussing Dior and Elwing in relation to the SoF.

Luthien and Beren, at great personal risk, obtained a Silmaril from Morgoth. I think it's relevant to note that at this point, the SoF appeared to have no problem with Luthien having possession of the Silmaril. In fact, Maedhros takes heart from their success and by it is inspired to begin his efforts which culminate in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

First, let's recall Luthien's history with the Feanorians at the point that she and Beren depart Doriath after Beren is restored to life:

Luthien is aware of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde and the theft of the swan ships, actions of shocking violence by Elves against Elves, and the Noldor's part in trying to conceal it from her parents.

Celegorm and Curufin feign friendship with her when she encounters them on her quest to rescue Beren, only to then trap her in Nargothrond. Celegorm plans to wed her against her will, which strongly implies he also means to rape her, in order to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians.

Celegorm and Curufin overthrew Finrod's chosen successor, Orodreth, and the Arafinweans had been friends of Doriath. She may or may not be aware that Celegorm used the oath to threaten the residents of Nargothrond, implicitly threatening violence against them.

After Luthien has escaped and rescued Beren from Sauron, she encounters Celegorm and Curufin again. Curufin attempts to kidnap her, and Celegorm then attempts to kill Beren when he leaps to her defense.

Celegorm openly makes threats against Thingol and Doriath.

So at this point, you can perhaps see why Luthien does not feel a lot of need to play nice with the SoF. From her perspective, they're pretty scummy people who are more than willing to commit violent acts against other Elves. At no point does Maedhros reprimand or punish Celegorm or Curufin for their actions, which as the leader of the Feanorians, suggests he doesn't think what they did was wrong. Why should she cooperate with them? They didn't risk their lives to obtain one of their Silmarils. If the Silmarils were as important to them as they claim, why haven't they tried harder? She and Beren, with far fewer resources, managed to do it.

Additionally, the Feanorians do not make any effort to reclaim the Silmaril from Luthien during her life. Possibly because she took down Morgoth (briefly).

"For while Luthien wore the Necklace of the Dwarves no Elf would dare to assail her..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath)

So she dies and the Silmaril goes to Dior, her son.

To Dior, the Feanorians are the unquestioned villains of his parents' story. These are people who openly threatened his grandfather's kingdom, who tried to force his mother into marriage and imprisoned her, who tried to kill his father. Sure, you can argue that they have an ancestral claim on the Silmaril--but cannot Dior also make that argument at this point? And what motivation does he have to cooperate with them? They do nothing to win his friendship, as they have done nothing to win the friendship of Doriath throughout their time in Beleriand. If Maedhros is such a formidable diplomat, why can he not come to terms with Dior?

"They [the Feanorians] came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath, emphasis added)

Furthermore, to your point, Dior is a young king--and a mortal among Elves. Doriath is also recovering from the war with Nogrod; they are already in a vulnerable position, and with Melian gone, the Girdle is down, so they are far more exposed than they are accustomed to being and having to adjust to that.

So Dior does not relinquish the Silmaril, and rather than pursue the two held by Morgoth, the Feanorians assault Doriath, kill many Elves, throw at least two children out into the woods to die of exposure, and still fail to capture the Silmaril.

So Dior dies and the Silmaril goes to Elwing, his daughter.

Consider what the Feanorians represent to Elwing at this point.

These are Elves who have shown themselves to be unrepentant killers. We as the fans love to focus on the tormented regret of the Feanorians, but to their victims, they are simply killers. They committed slaughter in the Blessed Realm, for which they were exiled by the Valar, and for which they have expressed such regrets--except that they've gone and done the same thing here in Beleriand. They have threatened forced marriage, they have killed children, they have driven the Iathrim from their home and made them refugees. To Elwing personally, they are the murderers of her parents and the ones who dragged her brothers into the woods as children and left them to die.

What, precisely, might motivate Elwing to cooperate with them? So the Silmaril "belongs" to them--so what? They have tormented Luthien's line for generations now--the Feanorians ARE the Morgoth of Elwing's story. And she should give into them why? The Ring belongs to Sauron--should Frodo hand it over because it's his property?

Maedhros, who has apparently lost all diplomatic veneer, does nothing to show good faith or a desire to cooperate with Elwing. Instead, he writes with his demands, as he did with Dior.

The one thing--the ONE thing--that might make Elwing cooperate is, to me, solely to avoid another slaughter as happened in Doriath, as you mentioned. So in this vein, why doesn't Elwing surrender the Silmaril just to avoid trouble, even if she hates and distrusts the Feanorians? There are two things which are absolutely key to understanding this decision.

1.Elwing does not make the decision alone. Critics of Elwing often act as though she made a unilateral decision to withhold the Silmaril from the Feanorians--which is not the case. In fact, Tolkien writes that "Elwing and the people of Sirion" refused to yield the jewel under threat.

This is not an unusual response. Most people do not respond well to being threatened, and may refuse out of spite. Furthermore, these are people who were made refugees by the same people now making demands of them.

But more importantly, Elwing did not alone choose to keep the Silmaril. She and whatever Sirionites aided her in governing decided together that they would not give in to the Feanorians.

2. The second is that the Sirionites believed the Silmaril was protecting Earendil and the Havens. Remember that at this time, Earendil is seeking for Aman, to obtain the help of the Valar in defeating Morgoth. So not only is he the lord of the Havens at Sirion, but he is on a quest which is, to them, of critical importance. They need him to stay safe so that he can complete his mission and hopefully win Beleriand's rescue.

And to your point about Dior above--this Silmaril is effectively a family heirloom to Elwing as well.

The Sirionites are particularly loath to part with the Silmaril while Earendil is at sea--which makes sense, as he is a ruling lord of this city, and they believe his protection is somewhat dependent on their possession of the Silmaril.

But the Feanorians don't wait for Earendil to return to negotiate--they lay siege to the Havens at Sirion while Earendil is still away ("For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin, and the remnant of Doriath" Of the Voyage of Earendil and the War of Wrath, emphasis added) and render the Iathrim virtually extinct as a people. Once again, they come down "suddenly" on another group of Elves and destroy them.

What the Feanorians do in the Havens at Sirion is so awful ("the cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf") that their own troops stand aside or even turn against them during the fight in an effort to defend the Sirionites; the Feanorians kill them too.

This, to me, tells us how far the Feanorians are from attempting any real diplomatic work here. They are not even considering the Silmarils that Morgoth still has; they have utterly failed to reach Elwing in a diplomatic or cooperative manner; they refuse to even wait until Earendil has returned so that he and Elwing can make a decision together, as joint rulers of this city.

Why doesn't Elwing fortify the Havens? We have no evidence that she doesn't. Only that it wasn't enough to stop the Feanorians. Why doesn't she send Elrond and Elros away? That poses its own risks--and she may believe they are safest there, as the Sirionites believe the Silmaril is protecting the Havens. It may be incorrect, but it is something they believe and they operate under that belief.

But even if you think she didn't do things she should have--does that justify the actions of the Feanorians? It's fine for them to murder because their victims didn't do enough to prevent them from murdering? You took our object so we can kill you for it now?

Putting all that aside for now, I want to jump over to the oath, because you mentioned something interesting about it:

They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever

Purgatory and hell do not exist in Ea. What exactly the Feanorians think their "punishment" for breaking the oath will be is unclear, whether it's just death without the chance for rebirth (as is the case with Feanor, and seems to be the most extreme punishment the Valar can or will enact), or something more. Clearly they put a lot of stock in it--but they also are not totally beyond the notion of breaking it. Maglor himself suggests after the Third Kinslaying that they should abandon the quest and plead their repentance to the Valar, but Maedhros refuses.

Maedhros seems to still believe they may suffer some punishment for breaking it--that Eru might actually hold them to the oath they swore. But Maglor counters with the notion the oath can be voided:

"Yet Maglor held back, saying: 'If Manwe and Varda themselves deny the fulfillment of an oath to which we named them in witness, is it not made void?'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

And of course, why would Manwe and Varda hold them to an oath which has caused so much strife, and which promises to cause more? Why should they desire the Feanorians to be held to an oath which causes them to murder and destroy other Elves? Maedhros refuses, still believing, or at least asserting, that some punishment by Eru awaits if they break the oath. Maglor somewhat grimly points out that given what they've done, punishment is their due one way or other other:

"'If none can release us,' said Maglor, 'then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep the oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking.'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

Maglor acknowledges that they have done evil in pursuit of the oath and that they will continue to do evil if they do not choose to set it aside. Furthermore, that if they cannot be excused from the oath, they're likely to experience punishment either for breaking it or for the things they do in pursuit of it, so it's all the same in the end anyway. Yet Maedhros and Maglor instead make a free and conscious decision to continue their pursuit of the Silmarils.

They are a) well aware that they have done horrible, awful things trying to fulfill this oath; and b) aware that breaking it is an option. They choose not to. They have chosen not to this entire story.

And truthfully, even if they would be condemned to purgatory or whatever, it doesn't justify what they do. They chose to swear this oath, they have chosen to pursue it, and if they are willing to slaughter whomever they need to to protect themselves from the consequences of their own oaths, that still makes them selfish, wretched people who are willing to sacrifice anyone else to make sure they themselves stay safe.

Even if they were able to obtain the one Silmaril from Elwing, the oath is not fulfilled. Morgoth still has two. Everything they did to Doriath and the Havens at Sirion is worthless without the other two Silmarils, but they did it anyway; and even after the chaos wrought by their actions there, go ahead and slay Eonwe's guard after the War of Wrath to steal the Silmarils everyone else had rescued from Morgoth.

The Feanorians have done so much wrong that the Silmarils themselves reject them by the end. I don't know how else the narrative could make it clearer they are in the wrong. Tolkien implies that the oath was wicked from the very start, and always bound to lead the Feanorians into wrongful acts.

Lastly, I will point over at this meta I wrote a few months back about how if the Feanorians had obtained the Silmaril from Elwing, it would likely have doomed Middle-earth to Morgoth's rule.

In any case, I don't think anyone who escalates a situation to murder is ever in the right, and certainly not over something like property rights. If you can sympathize with the Feanorians about their perspective, you should be able to consider what the Feanorians are to the perspective of Luthien's line--and why they are not keen to work together with the Feanorians or give them what they want.

Not sure if you found any of this convincing, but I hope it's something to consider at least!

[turnin9pag3]

i say that i am going to kill myself and im not even sure if i am joking or not anymore. because my mustles are weak and i feel my bones creak every time i stand. and i look in the mirror and im not sure i like who is staring back at me. i hate my face. i hate my body. i hate my hair. i hate that my nose is too big and my lips are too small. i hate that my teeth r too yellow and crooked and my face is too red and pimpled. i hate that my eyes are too dark and my eyebrows are too light. i hate that i hate everything about how i look but i cant fix it because wearing makeup feels like playing dress up and i dont even know who i am anymore. i want to be human but i think im well past the point of humanity. i am untouchable to all but myself yet your mind is your own biggest critic. so i hate myself and tell everyone i dont because i dont know what to think.

so i say i am going to kill myself and i can no longer recognize the humor in a statement that feels so true. though i guess it has to be false because the sad truth is i simply do not have the guts. it has been like this for as long as i can remember and nothing has changed yet here i am so i don’t see myself leaving anytime soon even if i wish i could.

i remember being 10 years hidden behind the washer in my laundry room with a rag in my mouth attempting to muffle the sobs. i remember walking to my room after like nothing happened and no one ever questioned it. i remember writing a letter to my mother explaining how i was scared about how terrible i felt because it felt like it would never end. i was scared she would be mad at me if i told her. she would not have but the young mind thinks irrationally and i did not know what was happening to me. it is 5 years later and i still feel like that little girl hunched over and gagged by her own hand behind the washer, hiding from the family that made her feel like this. half a decade later and i still want to send that letter but its been too long and im too old to feel so helpless and im too smart to feel so sad and im too pretty to feel so ugly and i have too much potential to be wasted because i felt a little bad. that little girl has grown and wasted away and its too late.

so i tell people i am going to kill myself and no i dont really mean it. but dont i?

because i can see myself gaining weight and i am nothing special. because there are people smarter than me everywhere and i cant bare to pick up a book anymore. because i talk too much and i know im annoying but all i want to do is speak to you and you cant stand to text me back. im over eager and over chalant. i care too much but i will never care enough. i am an enigma to myself and i hate myself. yet i have never loved anyone more.

“you are an artist, and your mind dont work the way you want it to.”

if someone asked me who my best friend is i would say myself and my mind. if someone asked me who my worst enemy is my answer would not change. some may call that contradicting and maybe theyre right. or maybe they have never experienced my brain and they will never know the true beauty of hating yourself.

so if you ask me i will tell you that yes i want to kill myself without an ounce of humor. yet if you were to ask about the execution i would walk away laughing.

i want to kill myself but im weak and i wouldnt be able to stomach it. the bile rises in my throat as i hold the knife to it and it falls with my tears to the floor. at the end of the day i am still nothing but a little girl sobbing in a heap on the floor, jaw clamped around a rag, with a tear-soaked letter of self hatred crumpled next to her.

the only difference is now i am old and the letter is a suicide note i will never post because i will never need it.

i said i was going to kill myself and i meant it. but i did not mean physically for i am already long dead in every way but this one.

[notsohehehahanow]

I know the mike initiating a kiss or making the first move is a popular thing among bylers but i dont think that would be/should be the case AND HERES WHY 🤓☝ *mcyter with lists voice* (i get sidetracked so bear with me)

For starters; we've come to a conclusion that mike has internalized homophobia and there's plenty of evidence to back this up, he wants to be "normal" and in the 80s being gay was abnormal, this is a commonly known thing that's mentioned a lot amongst bylers and its precisely the reason i dont think mike would be the one to make the first move

Mike does everything in his power to be a normal person which is why i think he was willing to lie to el so easily in season 3

This is where i get sidetracked but really its just backup analyzing for this

Before gay marriage was legal, lavender marriages were everywhere or at least a fairly common thing, in case you dont know lavender marriages are marriages that were used to cover the sexuality of one or both of the people getting married, which i think ties in with mike and els dynamic (will get to that later)

Mike uses el as a cover or a way to be normal, its what he grew up around and its what he saw on tv gay relationships just werent considered normal

In season 3 mike lies to el so he can continue to see her, to continue to have a cover or something that convinces him hes "normal", and all they really did was make-out because "thats what couples do"

You have the season 3 rain fight which ive seen multiple people mention that mike was blatantly reflecting but ive never seen anyone explain it more - will says something about mike and el (seemingly) constantly kissing, referring to el as "a stupid girl" and while mike did defend el, he couldve just left it at "els not stupid", "its not my fault you dont like girls" did not need to be there. He felt like will was seeing through the amount of effort he had been putting into normal and panicked, saying something he didnt mean and we can visibly see he didnt mean it

In season 4 theres the rollerrink fight, another instance where mike says something he didnt mean or like to say - will complains about mike not sending him letters whereas el has "a whole book of them", mike tells him "thats because shes my girlfriend" to which will asks "and us?" Which mike once again saw as will seeing through mike and he panicked, feeling the need to clarify that theyre just friends and wont be more, wills follow up shows hes more upset mike doesnt treat him like theyre best friends than the idea of them dating, wills already accepted the idea that mike doesnt like him the way he likes mike

The letters isnt because mike didnt want to talk to will, he most definitely tried (sitting by the phone and whining about joyce being on the phone all the time making it busy) but its because EVERYONE in hawkins knows who will is and theyll hear about it him growing up, hes the boy who was dead for a week and came back literally all over the newspapers as "zombie boy"

Mike would not be able to get away with being seen as "normal" while writing and receiving letters from another boy, especially if someone found out because for all he knows they could be the wrong person and suddenly all the work he puts into being "normal" has been washed away

With all that said; mike and will both have internalized homophobia on different ends, will knows and accepts it knowing he cant change it but he also hates it, and mike knows but denies it - i dont think mike would be the one to make the first move, i think it would be will

Idk thats it thats all i got

Will byers making the first move 🙏🙏

[swiftgreatest]

Everything Has Changed | Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

request by anon: "hi!:) i dont know if you take request but i would love to see eddie’s blurb where he mets his old friend from his hometown on tour and falls in love with her"

a/n: hello, thanks for request. i love your idea!! i loved write this, i really hope u like this, give me your opinion about it!!!

words: 2.3k

After hours and hours on the rond the band finally arrived in Seattle for one week with three shows in the city. All the audience was excited for this, as it was the first time Daisy Jones and The Six would be in the city and the three shows were sold out, this was one of the most talked about subjects at the moment.

Eddie was accustomed with this commotion in the cities where the band performed, hysteria everywhere, people following the bus of the band and camping at the front of the hotel, it wasn't something new for him, the band was on tour for several months.

The travels from one city to another were very tiring and boring sometimes, there wasn't much to do on the bus aside from look at the landscape, drink sth, smoke or take drugs. Sometimes Eddie used the travels to write letters and make melodies for his bass, he always wanted to write his own lyrics but he didn't have much confidence in himself, until his childhood best friend helped him with this. She encouraged him and said she was his number one fan.

The bassist catches himself remembering her sometimes, he misses her and all the things they did together, she was his favorite thing in Pittsburgh. He constantly wonders what she is doing now.

– – – –

Eddie sat in one of the empty booths of a snack bar, he and the band got off the bus and he was starving for some real food then ran out to find a snack bar and entered the first one he found.

As he looked at the menu, a waitress appeared to take your order.

"Welcome!! What would you like to order?"

"I would like some-" Eddie couldn't speak anymore after looking at the waitress who was looking at his order book. "Y/n? It 's you?" He recognized her, it was her! His childhood best friend, sweet Y/n!

"What?- Oh my God, Eddie jt's you!!!" The girl opened a smile that filled her face. She couldn't believe it, it was like a dream, her childhood best friend and secret love was there, in front of her. It's Eddie, her Eddie. O mean, he was taller now, long hair, expensive clothes, looked more confident but he still being the boy she ran away from home with to go to rock concerts in the early hours of the morning.

"I can't believe it!" Roundtree said while standing up and hugging the girl. She was taken aback by the hug but put her arms around him. Eddie couldn't even explain how much he missed it.

"Dude, how long! You're in Seattle all this time?? How I never found you??" You asked him, you've so many questions.

"No, I live in Los Angeles. I've come to work, in truth it's a long story and I-" They were interrupted by the rumbling of the bassist's stomach, oh he was so hypnotized by you that he had forgotten how hungry he was.

You laugh and he blushed with shame "Let's take it easy, sit and tell me what you want to eat and when I come back we can talk, right?"

"Right!" He sat down again and said his order to the girl.

"I'll be back in a few minutes!" You left and Eddie didn't take his eyes off you, you caught his attention, he couldn't believe he found you, you were so different, but what could he say, it's a long time, you two were different now but some feelings are still the same and still making his heart speed up.

– – – –

You was watching the boy in your front devour the food you brought, you worried about him because of all this hunger but he explained the reason to you. He also explained everything that had happened to him after you moved from Pittsburgh with your parents. The Dunne Brothers, new members, The Six, Billy, Daisy Jones, Honeycomb, Aurora and he tell about the others, Camilla, Graham and Warren, you are close in the past.

You're so happy for Eddie, he did it!! Realized his dream and looked so happy with the band, you remembered all the times you listened to him write or play something on the guitar and bass, it was so good, just you and him, listening to him sing to you and only for you.

"Eddie I'm so happy for you, that I don't even know how to express this. I'm so proud of you, you did it" You had a proud smile and looked at him with admiration.

This was so precious and valuable to Eddie, no one ever looked at him like that, no one ever admired him like you did, no one ever encouraged him as much to follow his dreams as you did, you always supported and helped him, he would never get over it or forget it. He entwined his hand in yours, it was so good to be with you.

"I'm so happy to give you prod, you always support me, and you make many things for me Y/n, you help me to be who I am and I will always be grateful for it" He cuddled your hand.

"You don't have to thank me for being who you are. You're talented and it comes from you naturally"

"And you? What have you been doing?"

You explained what happened after you moved from Pittsburgh. You spent some years in a small town with your parents until you got tired and moved alone to Seattle, you wanted new air, and the air of the big city was what you needed. You became a waitress, but you were also doing other things. You are a dancer in a dance academy and you were trying to win a scholarship to some college to become more professional in dance.

"That's amazing Y/n!! I always knew that you would be a star of dance one day"

"Oh let's not exaggerate, I'm still a little star who is getting to know this world of big stars and constellations"

"To me, you are and always have been a big star. My big star"

Oh God, didn't he realize how much he messed with you, how the way he looked at you and the things he said made you have an outburst. How could he never realize how in love you were?

"Thank you, I don't know what to say" You were going to say something but were interrupted by your boss telling you to get back to work. "I need to go Eddie, the work calls me".

"When is your turn ending?"

"At five" It was still three o'clock in the afternoon. "There are two hours left, you don't have to stay here waiting for me"

"I don't have any problem, I have been waiting for this for years, some hours won't kill me" He smiled and you smiled back. Your smile lights up his life since childhood and still.

– – – –

After two long hours of work, you finally end with your work, take your things to leave. At all this time Eddie was still sitting at the same table, sometimes he asked something to drink but only to talk with you. You smiled every time you passed by him or when you caught him staring at you, have been many times.

You both left the snack bar and walked the streets while talking, telling new stories, thoughts and problems too, it was as if everything was in the right place now, just you and Eddie keeping each other company and being honest.

Everything has changed. You and Him may have changed on the outside, but you still had a lot of your old version of the past inside of you. The same feelings still haunted you both and you still don't know how to deal with this like when you were young.

Every smile, word, memory, joke and thought connect you more and more, as in the past, or even stronger than that, you didn't want to leave this. After that reunion, Eddie promised he would never go away from you again.

– – – –

And he kept his promise, for the first he called you to go to a concert of his band, he didn't have to insist, you were crazy to see your friend on the stage and the band too.

While at the concert you admired him, you can't take your eyes off him, Eddie got a special place for you in the front of the stage. You loved the concert, they've so many good songs and the energy was from another world, unexplained.

After the end of the show, you met Eddie on the backstage, you hugged him even with him sweating and he hugged you too, holding you so strong as if he was afraid you would go away from him.

"I have some people here who need to see you" He led you into a hallway with dressing rooms and you were so involved that you didn't even realize that you entwined your hand with his. He led you into a room where Graham, Warren and the keyboard player, Karen, were.

The boys ran to you when they recognized you, you hugged both. They're so different but at the same time still were your friends from school. You introduced yourself to Karen and she was really nice with you, you like her.

"So you mean Eddie found you and didn't tell us? You were keeping her from us just for you weren't you brother?" Warren joked and Eddie gave him the middle finger.

"We have to make up for all this time" Warren said "And you know what's good for bringing people together?" He asked and after no one answered he shouted "A party!".

Everyone got excited and shouted together with him, and that's how you ended up at one of the famous band parties. You have fun all night, talking with several people, drinking, dancing and especially you did all this with Eddie who didn't leave you at any time and you didn't leave him either.

– – – –

It was like this all week, you went to the band's second concert and you see Eddie everyday since you reunited. You give him your address so he comes to see you everyday. He came early and his excuse was he didn't want to stay away from you. He took you to your work everyday.

When he didn't show he stayed with you in your house, you cooked together, Eddie was so good in the kitchen. You and him do other things like play games, watch movies, listen to discos or just talk and admire each other.

You didn't realize that, but anyone besides that can realize this, the way you look at each other, how you act towards each other, is like you have your own language and your own world.

You were so used to each other that you didn't even think about what would happen when the last show of the band was done and they left town.

One day before the last concert, Roundtree realized what was coming and that almost drove him crazy. He got nervous and so many thoughts appeared in his mind. What would you two do? Are you still friends? He didn't know what to expect, but one thing he knew. He couldn't lose you again, he couldn't live without you anymore and he was determined to do something to let you know about it, even if it changed everything.

– – – –

This is the last concert of the band in Seattle and you were there like the others, but this is different, is the last time Eddie would be in your city, you pretended it wasn't affecting you. When you realized that, you cried, you didn't want to let him leave, but what could you do? This was his dream and you couldn't ruin it just because you love him more than anything and didn't want to live without him.

The bassist noticed you were different, quiet and thoughtful, and he knew the reason, he tried not to show that it affected him too. The concert went so slowly for him. He didn't want it to end but he also needed to talk to you and couldn't hold back any longer.

After the show he took you away from others, nothing of parties or drinks for you two today, he has something different for today, something that will change your lives, for the better or worse. Roundtree took you to the roof of the concert hall, this is like a flashback from when you climbed the roof of his house to see the stars and smoke. All these memories come to you, just make you more sensible and you were holding yourself to not cry.

"I know I'm leaving tomorrow and this could change everything between us, but this doesn't need to change, I still with you, I'll be far away but I'll call you everyday, send letters and come to see you every chance I get, I won't let nothing keep us apart" He held your face with his hands " I was stupid enough to let you go once and I will never make that mistake again. Everything has changed. But I still love you. I love you all this time, keep this love with me and now that I've found you it has come back strong and clear, nothing will change my mind and if that's going to change all between us, even if it's for something worse, I'm sorry but I won't hide it, not anymore.

You didn't realize at what moment the tears started to fall down your face, you're so happy and emotional that you couldn't contain yourself. He looked at you worried, cleared your tears and when he goes try to say one more thing you kiss him. Nothing could change this, nothing could separate you now.

And this only proved that even though everything had changed, you two were still the same, and still loved each other in the same way.

– – – –

hello people, if u like reblog and like pls? my request still open and i loved write thisss

masterlist

[empress-6-3]

Hazbin Hotel Theory's

I am pretty sure some people had the same thoughts before me but i still want to write about it.

1.

The Angel was probably killed by the power of love / divine power

I think if you fight for someone else and not for your own gain, you unleash good power which is the only thing able to hurt an Angel.

Season 1 will propably end with the Main cast all protecting each other from the angel attack ( they start the extermination at the hotel ) and figuring this out mid fight. Scaring the angels into quitting the attack and Proving all sinners that the hotel works.

Season 2 could than start with everyone wanting to stay at the hotel and some angels hating the idea of sinners going into heaven, planning one big attack. Giving more Focus to an all out battle than we have left. Season one is only 8 episodes so i think this war will only be a set up for next season. With the first beeing more about the forming bonds and proving the dream.

2.

Alastor made a deal with lilith

They were both gone for 7 years.

Also Alastor doesnt seem interested in the cause itself, nor does he Sabotage it. He doesnt try to make a deal with Charlie and is a good supporting guy to the group ( does what he is been told ).

But he isnt a good guy and he hints that he gets something out of this.

Since he holds his end of the deal, it could be that he is currently fullfilling a deal, which includes protecting charlie and supporting her.

Lucifer doesnt know him, so it could only be lilith who made the deal with him.

The 7 years was alastor helping lilith with things so he could gain her trust ( showing that he does keep his end of the deal and is responsible with the task given - no creep towards charlie, etc ) and that the souls under his care are not completly abused like angel = lilith does care about her people. And that he is a charming, calm fellow who can be trusted not to abuse his power. ( the overlord takeout an exclusion, maybe we get more Infos later / there are still old overlords around who like him and he didnt Kill husk to take his Position )

The deal would not be her soul but the souls she has under her. Or otherwise gaining more power through her.

This makes him not a nice guy but not bad either since his goal would only be power for power sake ( he realised he cant keep climbing the letter so the royals where the best think to fix the Problem).

He just seems like a guy who is civil and respectful towards Others but needs confidents in his own powers and feels he needs to improve more. ( those guys who always desire more power for impruvement sake only ). Not to defeat Others but for his own well beeing / calm of mind. To get attention.

So this can be an ending where the power increase would not change his character Behavior. Only explain why he did what he did. Him getting stronger by helping charlie is not really a bad ending, it keeps him selfish enough to never be redeemed but nice enough to still be a Main character.

After all i dont want him to backstab the others or turn into the villain. But i also cant see him not beeing up to anything, for that there are to many hints.

Doing something good for his own sake only but having fun while doing it is a nice compromise between good and evil.

Also lilith would prove that she cares about charlie.

[tehaxo]

Sweet Birthday.

rushed one shot for tighnari’s bday </3 happy bday my favorite fox boy💕

pairing: tighnari x gn!reader

warnings: none

A/N: this was really rushed… I really need to stop writing last minute. i’m not proud of this at all but i hope you enjoy it! P.S. i have requests open! dont be afraid to request pleaseee id really appreciate it :3

His birthday… It was his birthday. The day you promised yourself that you would confess your true feelings to him. Presents were prepared beforehand and a handwritten letter of your feelings for him, they were all in your bag.

You stood at the entrance to his room and observed Tighnari. His back faced you as he did whatever he was doing, perhaps some experiment to do with plants. You held on tight to the strap of your bag and gulped deeply, the ounce of confidence was long gone from your body. The fear had set in and prevented you from making any movements.

Tighnari had already heard your quiet footsteps but said not a word. He was curious as to why you were trying to be discreet.

“Master Tigh- Oh, It’s you! What are you standing here for? Go inside!”

You jumped and turned around frantically, it was Collei. She had noticed you standing there for a bit from away and guessed you were up to something. She decided to give you a hand because she couldn’t stand you being such a scaredy cat.

Tighnari also now faced the two of you, “Hello Collei, I see you’ve come back from patrol. Is there something you need?” he asked. He glanced at you, then set his gaze back on Collei. “Well, there was, but I remembered something I have to do so see you later Master Tighnari!” She waved to the both of you before running off.

You cursed to yourself and took note of her sneaky wink at you, she knew. You blushed a bit but brushed it off, you had to thank her later for this. Tighnari cleared his thought which made you look at him, “You’re smart enough to guess what I’m going to ask you,” he said playfully and raised an eyebrow.

You awkwardly laughed and placed your hand on your nape rubbing it, “I can guess, but uh…” Your other hand fiddled with the strap of your bag while you looked down at your feet in embarrassment.

He smiled at your shy behavior, he hasn’t seen this side of you a lot. He found it cute. “What’re ya stutterin’ for? Spit it out already. The clocks ticking,” he said as he crossed his arms and tapped his foot.

You walked closer to him and now stood in front of him, “Happy birthday… I know you seem a little too busy to celebrate it at the moment but I just wanted to wish you,” you said and stared into his eyes with a bright smile.

He blinked and his smile grew. Such a simple act of kindness had his heart radiating with warmth. “Thank you a lot. I appreciate that you took time out of your day to wish me, I’m usually busy on my birthday but I don’t mind. I take time for myself at the end of the day to enjoy,” he exclaimed and pat your head.

Your heart paced at his gesture. It was so sweet and it made your stomach fill with butterflies. You then quickly shook it off then decided to show the presents you got.

You walked over to his desk and he followed. He was about to speak before he watched your hand reach into your bag and pull out the gifts placing them one by one on his desk.

“I Uhm, got these for you. Flowers from Liyue and Inazuma. They reminded me of you a bit, and they were pretty so I figured you’d like them. And working gloves I made myself with the best material I could find too. They aren’t the most extravagant, but I hope you like them. I put a lot of thought into them,” you showed off the gifts to him and didn’t realize you had also placed the letter on the table.

It was the first thing he noticed and grabbed it, quickly skimming over it. You continued to explain the other little gifts you got all while he read the letter. Your gaze was away from him and you were finished explaining. You then waited for him to say something in suspense, praying he’d like the gifts.

But he stayed silent, it was silent for a bit which scared you a little. You prepared yourself and then looked at him expecting to see him disappointed but you were mistaken. His eyes were wide, and soon yours were too.

You saw the letter in his hand and you panicked. You quickly reached for the letter in his hand but he dodged it. The panic in your system turned into sadness as tears formed in your eyes, you were now embarrassed and scared.

“You like me..?”

You stepped back from him and your breath hitched, you were speechless. “I’m sorry..” were the only words you managed to say. Your fight or flight responses were now active and were telling you to run for it, but he stopped you from doing so, with a hug.

A tight embrace as he nuzzled into your shoulder, his ears squished against your face but he didn’t care. Your body froze and you stopped breathing for a few seconds. You’ve never felt so many emotions in one day, the constant shock was sure to bite you in the ass later.

“I don’t understand feelings quite well, but I know well enough that I feel the same for you. I always have. I always thought you were just some other clumsy forest ranger like Collei, but once I got to know you well, I fell for you. Others told me it was obvious, but it seems to be a different case for you.” Tighnari explained as his fingers traced slow circles into your back and his tail wagged happily.

You wasted no time wrapping your arms around him and let out a sob of relief, you felt the happiness explode within you. He caressed your back as you cried, you tried to speak but what came out were jumbled words instead.

He laughed at your struggles and hushed you, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying, you dunce.”

“I love you so much.” You choked out between your sobs, you couldn’t have ever been happier. The rollercoaster of emotions was worth it because now, you have the man you thought you were pining for months.

He sighed pretending that he was annoyed, “I love you so much too, now please stop crying. I get you’re happy but I don’t want my precious sweater stained with tears and snot.”

He was now stuck with you because you had no intentions of leaving him. It’s not like he wasn’t thinking the same as well. You were stuck with each other, stuck in love.

[fanmoose12]

In many stories Hanji is the one who annoys Levi to get his attention, or the one who cuddles

But what about Levi trying to get Hange's attention to stop writing about titans because he wants to cuddle with her? Which I find r e a l l y cute

We know Levi is not a man of words but more of action, and Hanji is a really busy woman and when things are about work she's able to forget about everything that surrounds her even her lover.

Levi wants Hanji to focus on him but is really hard to get her attention when she's working, words dont even help too. So he sometimes annoys her, like moving her head up and down, taking off her glasses, getting behind her chair and putting his chin in her hair and hugging her neck with his strong arms and his eyes focusing with a bored expression on the movements of her hand writing, sometimes even putting a bit of pressure on his hug to make her annoyed. Or even, when he is tired on not getting what he wants, he stands in front of Hange and sits on her lap so that she can look at his face and get her attention once and for all, this annoys Hange because he is not letting her see the documents she has on the table, but she has no more remedy because Levi is not going to stop, so she caresses his hair and gives him little neck massages, Levi doing the same.

It all starts with a cup of tea, brought to Hange late in the evening. She thanks Levi for it with a quick and tired smile, then returns back to her work. Levi leaves the room, and she thinks - quite naively - that this is the end of it.

But it is not.

Levi comes back, now with a basket of water and grunting something about the horrific state of her office, clad in his signature cleaning outfit that usually makes Hange chuckle, but this time gets out of her only quiet sigh. She lets Levi be, though, and doesn't protest as he starts his cleaning spree - lifts the papers while he wipes the dust off her desk and raises her legs to allow him to mop the floor.

Maybe, he simply can't sleep, Hange thinks, trying to explain Levi's sudden urge to clean her office. It's not the first time he seeks out her company in the dead of night, but usually, he's not so... energetic. Most of the times, Levi comes to her with a book and a cup of tea of his own, more than content to just have her as a silent company. Tonight, however, he seems strangely determined, and the glances that Hange keeps catching are unreasonably disgrunted, even for Levi.

She sighs, knowing far too well what this unusual behavior of his might lead to, and grips the quill in her hand firmly, hoping that, this time, she'd be proven wrong.

But, unfortunately for her, she's rarely ever wrong, especially in matters that involve Levi. Not even five minutes pass, before he takes off his gear for cleaning, wipes his hands and comes to stand next to her desk.

He's silent at first, no word makes it past his lips as he shifts through the papers on her desk. He pretends to study each and every one with extreme diligence, but Hange knows, she feels that his eyes are actually focused on her.

Her skin prickles under the heat of that gaze, but she does her best to ignore it and concentrate on her work. She almost succeeds, almost forgets that Levi's standing right in front of her, and so- he decides to make his next move.

Hange's just starting to write another letter to Pixis, when the world around her suddenly turns hazy. She blinks a couple of times, adjusting to the sudden loss of vision, and when shapes get a little clearer, she sees Levi, standing in the same place he was before, but now with her glasses in his hands.

"Levi," she bristles. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Those are dirty," he explains as if that justifies his actions in any way. It appears that to Levi it really does, because he remains unperturbed as he cleans her glasses, slowly and methodically, seemingly not noticing Hange's apparent and quickly growing annoyance.

"I'm working, you know," she remarks, just in case Levi had missed that little detail.

"Doubt you can work efficiently when your glasses are so dirty."

But she won't give up so easily.

Hange grits her teeth, the bastard is as nonchalant as ever. It starts to drive her mad, because- she knows exactly what Levi is doing.

Drumming her fingers against the desk impatiently, she waits for him to finish. And as soon as he does, she snatches glasses out of his hands and gets back to work immediately.

Levi lets her, for the next few minutes. Then, when her irritation is nearly subdued, he strikes again.

He is bolder this time, and instead of cleaning and stealing glasses, he stands behind her chair- and puts hands on her shoulders.

He grips them firmly, kneading, and Hange very nearly moans. As always, Levi's hands feel divine, touching just where she needs, just how she needs it after a long day spent bent over her desk.

"Levi," she says again, "I'm working."

"I can clearly see that. And I wish to help in the only way I can."

That statement would have been sweet, touching, if Hange didn't know that the direct opposite was true. She knows that Levi knows just how much she enjoys when he rubs her shoulders like that. And she knows that he knows that when he does that, all coherent thoughts vanish from her mind.

He kneads the muscles of her back, thumbs pressing in all the spots that make stars dance before her eyes. And all the fight goes out of Hange.

She sighs, closes her eyes and lets the quill fall. She sits back in her chair, giving up to the pleasure. And Levi carries on, despite achieving exactly what he was planning to.

She cracks her eye open after a moment, looks up at him, sees the apparent complacency in his gaze and lets out a quiet chuckle.

"Time to go to bed, yeah?"

And only now, she realizes that she spent almost an entire week, sleeping on a couch in her office. The work has been overwhelming for this past few months, more and more responsibilities falling on her shoulders, and, as much, as Hange wants to deal with it as swiftly and efficiently as possible, if she's being honest with herself, there's nothing more she longs for now than the comfort of their bed and the warmth of Levi's embrace.

She puts a palm on top of his, takes a hold of it and presses a kiss to the back of it. "Alright," she murmurs, gazing into his eyes. "Let's go to bed."

Levi nods, helps her get to her feet and then immediately wraps himself around her. Hange laughs and leans down to press a quick kiss on his nose. "You know, if you wanted for me to cuddle with you, you could have just said so."

"It's not as much effective," Levi grumbles before he blows out the candle on her desk. He starts leading her to the exit, and when they're almost near the door, he adds, "And nearly not as much fun."

[rxttenfish]

hi !!! sending this on anon because i am rather nervous all things considered <:3 (i am lying to you, i have not considered 'all things'.) one monster prom fan to another (can we be compared using such broad terminology ? i feel as if i am domesticated compared to you... [compliment, or at the very least not inherently negative]) , i wanted to thank you SO SO SO VERY MUCH for giving miranda so much love and thought and mulling her over in your mind in such a ... refreshing way

i also really really really like miri , but i can only aspire to have your level of dedication . it feels almost like we are of totally different worlds... !!!!!

thank you for bringing in real world biology too :3 i absolutely adore your design for her so much (this is most likely not proper grammar, but it is very late and i am very cold and so i will hope with all my heart you will excuse this mistake. one of many, i should assume) - though !!!! i do have a question if that is alright ?????

i cant say that a marine macropredator of a significantly vibrant pink really strikes me as advantageous colouring - does the abyssal environment that you say the merfolk live in negate the need for camouflage and such ????? i apologise for sounding passive aggressive !!!! i am merely asking a question. cocking my head to the side if you will

additionally, i would like to ask something foolish. how do they acquire food? i dont want to say 'hunt', because that might seem insulting. historically were they built for stalking, or high speed chases, or...???? please, talk 'nerdy to me' as they say !!! <- in an entirely normal way befitting two strangers of course.

you know, i would have expected to hit the ask word limit by now. but it seems i have not. yippee !!!!

with my extra space, i shall add this: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE WAY YOIU WRITE MIRI . GOOD LOOOOOORD IT IS AMAZING HAVIJNG SOMEOENE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IWIITH HER thank yoiu for making her at least moderately intelligent. i feel blessed <- is this all too harsh sounding???? im a little new to all this letter/ask-writing thing <:3

IN ANY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOIU SO VERY MUCH. AGAIN. drops this and scuttles away

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/761693443676045363/1183251697129226270/ordered3.png

also i believe you can indeed tell, but i drew that in ms paint with my finger .. sorry that it looks like poop <:3

(moving the image out of the link just in case it breaks-)

AAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! this looks so WONDERFUL i love the way that you've shaped her head and how you've captured how Chunky it is... i know its one of the things people have the hardest time drawing with her so its just all the more impressive how well youve managed to capture her!!!

i also love the little doodles eeeee..... please feel free to toss all ocs at miri, its enrichment for her <3 ironically gentle chewing/biting is a Play and Bonding thing for merfolk so she shall happily Bites Bites Bites back-

(also i LOVE her smile!!! you arent anthropomorphizing in the slightest for that - miri often does have very human expressions in a way that's odd for a merfolk, because she effectively got imprinted during her time spent inland... and its politically useful if you smile and match expressions with the people you're trying to work with anyways)

ill also go ahead and answer your questions because i can! very easily clarify on them!

the color: actually, being bright red and pink is actually very common for deep sea animals, due to the way light works at depth! its why i decided miranda was abyssal, because that felt like the most natural way to explain why she's pink, since it's such an uncommon color in nature.

basically, different colors of light have different lengths! red is the shortest wavelength of light, and blue is the longest. water might be clear, but there's a lot of water in the ocean, and the more water you add, the more it filters out light - which is why the bottom of a pool might be dark and shady, but if you hold a little of the water in your hands there's no shade. the ocean is a lot deeper than a pool, and so it gets darker as you go down, but because it's also clear, it doesn't filter out all that light at the same rate.

red, being the shortest wavelength of light, gets filtered out first, so red often gets quickly darker the deeper down you go, until it's completely black! camouflage is dependent on the environment, so their color and brightness has to match the background, but it also depends on the light that's hitting the animal. it's why fawns have dappled spots, or animals might have black stripes, so they can mimic the light of their environment. and when your environment has no red light, well... red's a pretty good color to be!

because of this, a lot of animals in the deep sea can't actually see red either, which is doubly the reason why you might want to be red! think of it like tigers, and how ungulates often can't see their orange, making them look just about the same color as the foliage around them when they're hunting! miranda might stick out on land, but that's just because we aren't seeing her in the environment she's made for, where she blends in with everything else around her as much as a pure black animal.

(it's also why her bioluminescence is blue - blue is the longest wavelength of light, and the one most animals can see at that depth. if she lights up, then she wants to be seen, and she can even alter her silhouette to appear larger or smaller or breaking it up into multiple shapes if she needs to. it's why her tapetum lucidum is blue when light's shone on it, because there is blue light to be seen at depth, it's just very dim!)

(this is also why giant squid are bright red, and why the stoplight loosejaw fish is so special! the latter actually produces its own red light, and can see red light, which means that it has a secret light that won't reveal where it is but will reveal to it where its prey is!)

food: this is something that depends a lot, because there are actually multiple different species of merfolk, which is mostly my fault because i don't always feel like i communicate this the best. they're all slightly different in how they evolved to capture prey, with abyssals in particular being fuckoff huge ambush predators that attack from below, and others being shallower-water hunters or more adapted for smaller, faster prey - but they all evolved from an ancestor with a fairly consistent prey-capture method.

in short, all merfolk are ancestrally evolved to hunt whales and other large prey items, with all the extant species still holding at least a degree of this. primarily, they were ambush predators who were good at getting in close to their prey before a sudden burst of speed. they would work together in close-knit groups (one of the big pressures for their increasing socialization and larger brains, to coordinate such groups) to all mob a single prey item at once, hitting with force to cause sudden trauma, and then using their claws, double-thumbs, back feet, and mouths to hold onto their prey and refuse to be dislodged. they'd repeatedly claw and use their strong bites and massive heads to rip deeply into their prey, causing further massive trauma and shock, and if that failed, bleeding their prey to death.

think of it like the raptor prey restraint model, just further taking advantage of the fact that they were underwater, where no one else has hands that could potentially rip them off. being smaller and somewhat less-optimized for marine life compared to things like sharks and whales and large fish worked for them, because they had a novel adaptation that allowed them to take advantage of things no one else could, and the numbers to make up for it. this is, likewise, why they never lost their hands and fully developed flippers, instead making their limbs as flipper-like as possible to make up for it.

then as time went on and certain populations became separated from each other, they adapted for slightly different niches, but all remain fairly closely related to each other as a genus.

in the modern day, most merfolk don't really "hunt" for all of their meals, at least not in the same way that we might think. don't get me wrong, they still absolutely hunt and it's a larger part of their lives than it is for most humans, but they have options.

mostly, the merfolk theory for their relationship with nature is to invite it in. this is not to say they aren't controlling and pruning it, but they do live underwater, and it's far harder to keep animals out than it is on land, so merfolk accepted it and worked with it. they'll work to promote growth around their buildings and where they live, fostering the growth of sea grass and algae and coral and other sessile animals, encouraging them to set down and grow in these areas, and they'll then let more wild animals move in, further encouraged by these natural sources of food and shelter, on top of merfolk working even further to encourage them in. they serve as a functional cleanup crew for the merfolk in these settlements, being allowed to eat anything that merfolk might drop or go to waste, and even moreso might be purposefully fed at times, or have specific homes for them built. merfolk will keep encouraging them and taking care of them until they become a biorich hotspot, creating unique oasises for wildlife to live alongside merfolk.

however, this isn't just a free-for-all, persay. merfolk will also purposefully prune these populations and control how they form, often removing "problem" animals and encouraging certain behaviors which makes it easier for these populations to live alongside merfolk, not viewing them as a threat, but also not viewing them as an opportunity either. they will directly shape how these areas grow and cultivate them on a physical level, often using them as an easy shortcut to literally grow their settlements and buildings. but they will also harvest from these populations and selectively breed them, until their cities and towns act as massive public gardens full of food to be caught, picked, and eaten at any time

as there are also a lot of (very politically powerful) nomadic groups, they also do this, albeit not always so directly. they'll have specific shoals or "runs" of fish that they will follow behind and take care of, managing as they move through the ocean in accordance with the seasons. this is where the whales still factor in, because the nomadic groups will also take care of the whales, purposefully keeping an eye on their pods and taking care of them and, when the time comes, being choosy and particular in which whale they select at any given time to be hunted, harvested, and eaten.

(there's also the way in which food is distributed and managed throughout the merkingdom, since some food is indeed shipped and moved throughout the different areas, but that's a different story for another time and i've talked enough)

BUT!!!! thank you so much and thank you for enjoying all of this that ive been making with miri, and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk more about her <3

[myrfing]

6.4 msq spoiler thread

YES! YES....ZERO GOURD FEAST BEASTS

i need this buff PERMANENTLY

EW

ESTINIEN

MAN WHAT

HURLING

DIDNT NEED TO SEE THAT

ZERO LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yshtola is so good at indirectly cheering people up in that shrewd old lady way. not that she's old just well matoya

I like how they put pen and paper in estinien's room like he's literate

dragons are always wanting to pop out their eyeballs

erenville are you...? the golled more...? can i go with you..

can we kiss

god he appeared on screen and SORRY vrtra but i need him to continue and tell me about his life and I need to go with him

now they're blueballing us about a mysterious letter

i like how zero's just been there like well I guess you know everybody on earth then

margrat. i need more of her bizarre behaviors

i forgort

thancred calling it "social struggles" YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS AWKWARD FOR ZEROOOO

these drake ass polar bears

the aetherfont is sooo gorgeous also I forgot my codex broke and nearly let thancred die. long time since ive healed a trust party as well but we go slow smell the ice bears

oh my god :U

thancred: just stick stay close to this one

gourd: slowly turning head with his o_o frontal bird face

they just let thancred tag along just beacause. not to be mean but we could also just meet new people

U Guys Are Leaving Gourd OUt of the Conversation Hinting At Something Happening To Come What The Hell So He Doesn't Get Alone Time And You Guys Are Getting Jobs Without Him Anyway

zero voice Idgaf about that

can the garleans get over their magic fear already you live in a world where there are glowing horses

damn that's crazy

msq is always very strangely gentle and thorough relative to others when it comes to dealing with garlean trauma or maybe thats just my hater lens. anyway the whole they are bigoted and small minded because they'd been hurt stuff is getting old and it's kind of crazy how this hurt people hurt people stuff is the limit here

trust me i dont really want 2

a weird bit about the whole garlemald thing is the bizarre angelic benevolence of the ilsabard contingent. not ONE person has been like you know you guys spent the past half century fucking up the entire world and you still demand respect for your gay ass tower because the imperial family sat their asses in it. anyway i have problems with the whole we're actually a totally 100% saintlike patience goodhearted pure intentioned foreign aid group thing We Have To Save The People Of Garlemald on the side of the alliance since the start but whatever

warmachina.

i dont want the thank you from this man LMFAO

zerooo 8[ also so much of what zero recounts explains. Cylva.

aw that's true jullus

LMFAOOOOO THEYRE MAKING THE WOL THINK OF ZENOS BECAUSE OF THIS CONVO? gourd did NOT trust that man unless you mean trust him to be awful. and what did zenos trust in the wol that he'd fight him eventually? I GUESS? MAYBE THEY MEANT HE WANTED TO TRUST US BUT I ALSO DO NOT CARE?

we're not friends just because someone calls you their friend 29083902 times 💀 i think that dude barely had a concept of gourd as a human being with his own life

an act of trade also can be an act of charity. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN THEIR POLITICAL WRITING IS SOMETIMES SO.....garlemald is still absolutely at the alliance's mercy + they still obviously believe in right by might re: that one line from the old dudes so there's no reason for them to not be cognizant of the fact we can just take by force and doesn't handle the hanging But Why Aren't They? question at all. this was a pity deal and everyone's like friendship and hope <3. im not saying goodwill and sincerity cannot exist between groups but this requires a sense of solidarity that we do NOT have with garlemald considering we still have to step entirely around the subject of their imperial affairs

you see as a nation they're not equals. they're the languishing half dead scattering remnant of an empire that built its wealth and prosperity for a time on war, theft, and enslavement of the rest of the world and radz and the alliance absolutely could just turn the tables and invade and probably just wipe out everyone here without breaking a sweat. of course that's abhorrent but it's crazy that THIS particular pain even the mere thought of it is made to not exist while the garleans get to be complicated about it. they want to keep their national name and pride with none of the consequences and we don't even demand that as if a nation is sacred and untouchable even after everything. I don't get it bro

i like the way varshahn says wyrm

THE LITTLE SQUICH SOUND WHEN I TAKE HER EYE?

glitter guy....

[peachsugarr]

Heyyy, Was wondering if you could do some headcannons with a Y/N (She is just King douchebag from SOT) that gets reveiled to everyone shes a girl. Cause simce they met her they thought she was a dude. Shes just stares at them blankly and shrugs at their confusion and shock cause she dont care.

normally i don’t pen this type of request, but this ask was sent before i made my masterlist; hence you had no way of knowing that in advance. so i’ll write this for you, just to be nice! think of it as a grandfather clause of sorts. all i ask in return, is for you to read the rules if/when you want to send more asks.

also, happy pride month everyone! 

as a lesbian myself, i hope everyone, in both the queer community and their allies, enjoys themselves and all the rights we have fought for over the years!

𓆩♡𓆪 surprise gender reveal 𓆩♡𓆪

ever since you came to south park, you’ve always chose to represent as AMAB

you always had tomboyish tendencies, but this choice was less about preference and more of a necessity

all you knew you weren’t interested in whatever the girls were doing and the boys had a really fun game that they definitely wouldn’t let girls into 

so that was that

it wasn’t hard at all

you went by a masculines version of y/n or some basic boys name that started with the same letter (all that goes to waste when they just call you douchebag imao)

if your hair was long, you either just kept your strands pinned up in a hat or just cut it all off with safety scissors until it looked like  a crew cut made with a weed whacker, and if it was already short, you just let it go unsettled as is

despite a few changes, your body practically looked the same as any of the boys, and they were never something that couldn’t be hidden with some huge shirt  you “borrowed” from your dad

they let you in without a hitch, and you play through the game normally, fighting madly over a tree branch and going on zany adventures (you did laugh your ass off about being blindfolded into the girl’s “ committee”, but you kept that inside your head)

a few months passed, and you feel like you’ve hit your peak

you’ve become king douchebag, and everybody mostly respects you, even cartman!

the parents are off your back about having friends, and while confused about the sudden change, don’t really care about it.

all of it could’ve crumbled on that one inconvenient afternoon 

you were duking it out with a random thief; turns out they stole loot from your super cool fortress (your bedroom)

you try to use your powers to subdue the threat to your kingdom, but he seems to have the energy of ten thousand crackheads (excluding tweek)

just then, he knees y/n right into your crotch

the game has rules against farting on someone’s balls, but they never said you couldn’t roshambo them 

you falls on your knees, yelping in agony 

while it still stings, you get back on your knees, ready to battle again, when butters shouts in a panic

“oh hamburgers, i think y/n’s gonna go to heaven!”

kyle interjects, saying 

“butters, you don’t need to fucking shout! y/n’s going to be alright”

“then what’s that on their pants!”

you look down your body, pissed beyond belief that they’re stopping the game over this,  getting hit really wasn’t THAT big of a deal…

and then you see it. a pool of crimson decided to start around your thighs, a stark contrast that nobody couldn’t notice

you didn’t know what it was at first, as you didn’t have the best sex-ed education 

your parents were too busy protecting their identities to really explain to you what a  period was

mr. garrison just said that periods were “something that makes a woman a total bitch!”

and the movie you watched behind the couch, as your parents had a movie night, just had a girl get pelted with tampons for bleeding

with your experience, you did what any great ruler would do, one that was determined to defend their land and people from troubles ahead

you stopped the game abruptly and ran home

the boys all had different reactions. some wanted to comfort you, some whined about what a lousy asshole you were leaving them there, and others thought they were having a funeral pyre next week

whatever they thought, they still chased  you because they couldn’t do much by themselves when the game revolved around you

you didn’t care about any of that. you ran as fast your stubby little legs could carry you

you covered your body with your coat, wanting to dissolve into your clothing entirely

you didn’t stray too far from your house, and you and your group soon slam the door open, coming on your mom drinking her third bottle of wine today (she was getting better)

you spout a glibbish mess of sentences about bleeding out and dying,  you not knowing why this is happening to you, that you loved her very much, before falling into a pleading sob

your mom holds your hand tight, before laughing right in your face 

you’re still worried but also pissed that she thinks your death is a fucking joke; you ask what is wrong with her

“Oh, y/n! you’re not hurt at all. 

thanks again,  cartman

your mom is shocked that you’ve been lying to them this whole time, and carefully fills like everything

they are respectful to her for the most part, what with cartman making objections and craig just…leaving mid conversation.

you are panicking inside, but you decide to take it in stride and take whatever decision they give you

the last few days are awkward for both you and them

you could cut through the tension through your cardboard sword

they ask a concerning amount of questions about you being a girl

especially princess kenny

princess kenny wants to know everything about you, girlfriend

it’s all met with eye rolls and intense shrugging 

so much so that your head and shoulders hurt from doing it

despite their shock,  your genitals really didn’t matter before and you doubt they will now

they call you into a meeting with them, and your cool facade starting cracking under the rumbling in your stomach

they all look at you in total awe, like you’re a witch being burned alive in salem

the whispering grows among them, and you hum to yourself quietly just to drown it out

the final judgement comes in.

stan starts to give a half-assed speech but cartman interrupts not even a sentence in

while you have committed the capital crime  of being a girl, you are awesome enough  where they can overlook that

you can  keep both your title and all the powers you had before

you are bursting with joy, but you keep your celebration to jimmying in your seat so they don’t take that all back

life soon turns to normal, but a few differences have become apparent

cartman seems to not personally approve of you staying in the LARP (he’s still in his “girls have cooties” stage)

he’s still decent to you (as he can be, anyways) but you noticed he gives you less quests and xp than before 

not that matters at this point, but you act a  bit more snarky towards him  

even flipping him off once or twice

you worry that stan is going to barf on you at any moment, so you start wearing a raincoat around him

he never does though, for he has eyes on a certain ruler in another kingdom

positive changes come your way, nevertheless

for example, you get the comedy of clyde declaring to everyone he’s not gay for having a crush on you (craig is not pleased. at all)

several debates were held over you in craig’s gang

and kenny starts to hang out with you more, what with you two being the only “girls” around to talk to

overall, while you wish that you could’ve kept your secret longer, it didn’t mean squat in the end, as these guys would have stuck with you regardless.

you spend all day planning for the next big game, planning your outfits and attacks with excitement

you even try wearing a skirt/more feminine colors with your outfit, because maybe being a girl isn’t so bad after all

that is, until you have to miss out on the first branch of the superhero arc due to your cramps putting a vice grip on your ovaries like you owe them millions 

goddamnit.

if you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading. if you liked what you see, please don’t hesitate to put fic or head-canon ideas in my inbox! i’m only writing style for now, but can’t wait to see the possibilities. other anon; i will publish your story idea soon, i apologize for the wait.

hope you all have a lovely day!

-filia

[raayllum]

Hey hey!

Love your stuff.

Was rewatching/ thinking about future seasons and I would like to know your take/ opinion on some things I thought about:

1) how do you think Rayla’s going to handle the whole possession stuff? Callum performed dark magic for her (her cause/ saving the dragon) in the first place, but as it stands at the moment, I dont think any of the cast are aware than performing dark magic even once is the key Aaravos needs for possession. That’s all Callum has done, and yet he seems the most in danger from Aaravos. How do you think Rayla will take this knowledge, and what do you think will come of it? I am sure that Callum’s going to be the one to free her parents from the coins, as its been confirmed that only dark magic can do it, and I don’t see any other member of the dark magic cast about to help her with that any time soon… (Callum certainly won’t let her do it, and besides, he’s tainted already anyway, right??)

2) Callum will leave the group because he fears what will happen, leading to forgiving Rayla. I really believe this may be the case as this has happened before, in season 2. Callum forgave Rayla for not telling him/Ezran about Harrow AFTER he realised how difficult it was himself to tell Ezran the truth. Season 4 itself highlighted that Callum doesn’t understand fully why she left still (“It was all for nothing / pointless then?” Or whatever he said Re finding Viren and Rayla’s return, Stella reacted angrily to this comment) even though her letter emphaised it was to protect him, he still cant see it. So I reckon that Callum will end up deciding to leave precisely because he is the danger (in his own mind) he doesnt want to subject them (Rayla) to, and therefore in leaving finally understands (and forgives) Rayla for what she did over two years ago, after experiencing what it is like to be by himself to protect those he cares about. Maybe this is to hunt Aaravos down by himself, or maybe it’s to prevent another possession where he hurts someone (I wonder if this will happen? A stab scene was mentioned?? Between who is unknown but this would definitely motivate Callum to “get out of there” if he’s actively hurt someone he cares about while being possessed..!) Is this a possibility you’ve considered? How do you see forgiveness finally coming about? It must be (in my perspective) about finally understanding and seeing from Rayla’s perspective why she made the choices she did, and from the show’s history, Callum often comes to this understanding by experiencing the same thing Rayla had to go through, and Rayla comes to this understanding by being shown the truth (or told-shown from season 3, when Callum explained about her parents to her after performing the moon spell)…

eeeek whatever happens I am so excited to see!!

Thank you!! Your thoughts are so well explained and interesting & thank you for sending 'em in!!

1) I don't know if it'll so much something Rayla consciously thinks of (her hand in Callum's mage arc and how consistent it's been) but I do think it's something the narrative will lean into. This may be in her guiding Callum out of Aaravos' darkness, since I think it's very blatant where the symbolism is headed, or even possibly a bonus Moon arcanum connection - bringing the light and dark sides of the moon together or something, philosophically speaking. Also provides balance to the "love can destroy you" that S4 is examining with "and it can also save you" since the series' loves its perpetual duality and double-edged swords in all things. I also have a oneshot called "older but just never wiser" I want to write about them fighting exactly over who should be doing the dark magic and I'm quite excited tbh

I'm not sure if S5 will focus as much on unlocking the coins as it will show Rayla struggling with what to prioritize, but I have wondered if beyond dark magic if Viren's staff, specifically, will be needed to do the spell, since the staff is an ancient and powerful relic and was what Viren used to do it in the first place. If that's the case, I could see that looping back into motivation to confront Aaravos and co. directly in hopes of stealing back the staff, but I don't know yet! It could all honestly go in so many directions

2) Honestly I go back and forth on Callum leaving. On the one hand, him "pulling a Rayla" if you will lines up with behavioural things I thought even before the season aired, and S4 gives credence to this by showing the way Callum is acting like Rayla because they have more mirrored trauma by way of abandonment, now (even as they both gain some fun fresh stuff too, lmao). I could see him having a possession scare and deciding to dip. On the other hand, Callum has always been so ingrained in together-ness, and I lean more towards him being possessed one more time before breaking free. I think either way his desire to protect his loved ones (either leaving or sticking around, or both) will be what puts him into a "Aaravos gets out" corner but I think that too, can go a few ways

Mostly because if he did leave, it would be another trauma response. So i think it'd be less about him fully understanding why Rayla did what she did (he arguably did, he just disagreed) and more about Rayla fully realizing why what she did was so messed up and cementing a choice to never leave again. To have both of them Stay this time, and forever, and to realize they don't have to let their trauma tear them or their relationship apart. Big theory on what may cinch the final reconciliation here <3

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!

[1d1195]

Hiiiii!

It's been a while, I love the way you explain stuff😭 Ding is so freaking amazing.

So, oh, before I forget, I do study English literature and translation ( Arabic - English) btw you're a teacher? I saw some anon I think (💜 anon?) Wishing you a happy teacher's day idk about it cause we don't celebrate that here but yeah I didn't know that sounds fun! Let me guess (English teacher?)

So you know, yesterday I had a relaxing shower and afterward I wanted to style my curly/wavy hair naturally, so I think k it's a mix of 2a and 2b and that's funny cause I really tried like I saw some pics on pinterest and some videos on tiktok that motivated me but I kinda failed? 😭😭 I just rubbed the cream into my hair and pulled it back into 2 low buns but that's funny cause just before going to bed (I'm struggling with insomnia I've been staring at the ceiling since 1am and now it's 4am😭)anyway so I just fixed my hair to bed and it looked good! Like I had put effort into it, but I didn't! I think the curls aren't gonna make it till the morning🙈

Ehhh I dont know why in the freaking freak did I just say this whole story to you but I think you'll tolerate me right?

So back to classes and huffs and puffs, my finals start on the 20th. I'm not nervous, tbh I'm excited, I wanna get over with these freaking exams to read my books in peace.

So.. Love and Other Words and The Rose Code, huh? They really sound so interesting. I'm gonna need to read them. I'm also planning on reading the Twisted and King series, and do you mind if I tell you that you need to check Interlude right the tuck now? It's so freaking good you need to read it. You'll shed many tears, istg never have I ever cried this much in my whole life in "that" specific chapter, but I just love angst! But I promise it's not like that, okay? It's just amazing amazing I'm currently reading insurgence (the sequel) it's still on going bur I just love this book so much. I hope Mikii considers publishing it someday!

And I've always wanted to ask! What is your favorite piece that you wrote? I read a couple of series that you wrote, but I just wanna know which one js your favorite 🎀

Thank you so much I think you're kinder and better thank you 🩷🩷🩷🩷

I'm gonna need to study 3 novels tmrw cause I promised myself to do so! (Pride and Prejudice, David Copperfield, and The Portrait of a Lady) we studied them for my finals, but i just want to start my revisions, so... to teach and please ig😭😭

Have a very wonderful day, Sam!!! (BTW, my childhood bff's nickname's Sam! We're still friends, and we still love each other the same but not bffs anymore)

Oh now I remembered that I wanted to rant about the future and how I'm afraid of it being a (soon to be 19) girl who is (soon to be a junior) trying to be independent but in reality she will cry if you dare give her a nasty look but I guess it'll have to wait for next time cause my eyes seem to be dropping finally😭😭 I'll tty lysm🩷🩷

-🎀anon

😭 idk what I explained, but I'm glad it came out well and that you liked it! 💕

I am a teacher! A math teacher actually if you can believe it. Writing is just a hobby of mine and I love it, but it's only for me. Teaching math is much more enjoyable than teaching English (at least I imagine so). In the US we have teacher appreciation week to recognize teachers' hard work. I had one of my current students write me a letter and one of my students last year messaged me to wish me well. But it's not that exciting tbh--well, I do get a lot of coupons emailed to me hehehe

I know NOTHING about hair. (Literally had to google what 2b meant) I make my sister figure out what I need to do and then I just do what she says. I think we might have the same hair type though based on the pictures I googled! I have one curl cream thing that I put in my hair and scrunch each morning and then hope for the best (and that there will be low humidity). It's cool to experiment with your hair, even if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to in the morning! Then you know for the next trial. Of course I tolerate you--even though that's not what I would call it, I love to hear what you're doing!

I bet you're going to crush your exams! It sounds like you're ready for it! Books in peace is a MOOD. I'm excited for you!

My favorite piece I've written oh boy. Umm...I think it would be Protection. Or maybe Zipper. Idk I feel guilty picking one over the other and I love writing them all. I will tell you I think I like Protection more than Traditional which is probs sacrilege to write on my own blog because I think everyone under the sun would choose Traditional over Protection hahahaha but I liked planning Protection more than Traditional. Although Dolcezza really took hold of my heart VERY hard. Especially lately. Probably one of the three: Zipper, Dolcezza, or Protection.

I hope studying has gone/went well and you got some sleep after being up so late! You're going to have a wonderful future, I'm sure of it, and don't worry about forgetting something. I'm not going anywhere! 💕

xoxo