#and i’d really hate for it to go to waste if somebody wants it

[themarsbar]

besties if anybody is interested in a ticket for omar’s concert hit me up

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': The Outpost

As per many people's requests, I've collected a series of texts and Facebook messages from Doug when he watched certain episodes of everyone's favorite Copy Paste Boi show.

Some he was quite pithy on ('Ryan-from-Accounting goes fast but not fast enough to get away from the Bitch Wife Laura'), and others...well, he got excitable, to put it mildly.

Here's one of the more deranged ones, Season 2, Episode 12, 'The Outpost'. Or as Doug calls it: "The Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special."

CW for Language like you wouldn't believe. Doug says "you'll need a permission slip from your momma to read this, I guess."

-----

Daddy Warcrimes is waiting by the Empire's equivalent of a windowless van, because comfort is just not his thing and he really wants the experience of smuggling cocaine across the border one of these days.

Some bitch who looks like she works at a bank is telling these clones that their extended warranty is up. I wanna bring her a bag of pennies and make her count it before I deposit it because I'm sick like that.

So here comes in SOME BLOND JACKASS. Mother of Hell do I hate this guy. Can I just tell you how much I hate him? I hate him like I hate the Crimson Tide, like I hate February, like I hate my mother-in-law. Hate hate hate. 

So Daddy Warcrimes, SOME BLOND JACKASS, and some homies get into Floating Probable Cause to lay waste to an unsuspecting Third World country or whatever.

Well, I was wrong! Looks like Elsa and her frozen fingers took over this dump. Disney owns both, so why not. The cold never bothered them anyway. Nope, they’re at somebody’s nasty old storage shed. Why does this remind me of visiting my sister in Wyoming?

Oh, who is this no-frills, salt-of-the-earth, son-of-a-bitch? Is that tanned Kurt Russell? No? It’s Sassy Park Ranger! I like him already. If he was my boss I’d actually show up to work on time and sober, or late and hung over, either way, it’d be a good time with the man. He just seems cool and chill and a nice dude. I bet he’s got homemade beef jerky in his locker and his beard always smells like cigar smoke. 

OH SHUT UP STUPID BLOND JACKASS, Jesus Christ I’ve never wanted to hit someone with a folding chair so hard in my life. CALL HIM COMMANDER.

Aw, Sassy Park Ranger’s being nice to Daddy Warcrimes, maybe Daddy Warcrimes will share the Columbian nose candy in the back of the van with Sassy Park Ranger, and Sassy Park Ranger won’t ask about the sobbing family Daddy Warcrimes is probably holding for ransom in the back. It’s all about understanding each other. 

This is truly the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas special, snow and friendship and stuff. I hope this doesn’t end up with Daddy Warcrimes 86’ing Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer from the sky, that would traumatize the children. But this is the same studio that produced Bambi so who knows. Didn't he try killing a kid the first episode?

Oh man, Sassy Park Ranger’s lost a lot of his men, that’s real sad. Only two left, Jesus. SHUT UP BLOND JACKASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

(I won’t repeat it, but the amount of times that SHUT UP was texted was….something else- Dr. MM)

Sassy Park Ranger’s taking Daddy Warcrimes on a hike around the place in the middle of a blizzard, probably going to say hi to the yeti hooker they all frequent and show him how to write his name in the snow with pee. He’s such a good guy. If they go sledding I’d be so happy.

Oh, shit! Daddy Warcrimes remembers that he has a job and proceeds to cop some poor bastard in the leg so he can follow the trail of blood in the snow. What in the Fargo am I watching here, does Steve Buschemi show up at one point now. No sledding in this one, I guess.

Well there goes Sassy Park Ranger and Daddy Warcrimes on a heartwarming romp following a crippled burglar in the snow as he bleeds to death. Kevin McCallister would be so proud. Well, now, they found a dead body already. You know, at this point, if Daddy Warcrimes capped Santa in the head this show wouldn’t be less wholesome. 

Aw shit Daddy Warcrimes stepped on a landmine, but Sassy Park Ranger watched his training videos that HR made them sit through and disarms it. They’re having a nice convo, I really, really like Sassy Park Ranger. If he dies I’ll be so freaking mad. 

(I said nothing, FYI - Dr. MM)

Aw shit, they found the bunker of crazy white people with guns in the snow. It’s confirmed: the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special takes place in Wyoming. Are Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger facing off my brother-in-law and his branch of the VFW near Laramie? Those guys need hobbies besides doomsday prepping and getting drunk in the snow. It ain’t right. 

“After all we sacrificed”…man. I feel right here. Is this the child friendly version of Enemy at the Gate? Shit. Please these two bastards need to survive. I need a beer and I wanna hug my wife.  

Dr. Meat Muffin, please don't tell me you're letting your babies watch this show. They need that dog from Australia who has fun with her daddy, not this.

Oh shit, avalanche! 

Oh no, Sassy Park Ranger. Oh no, oh no. Oh, Daddy Warcrimes.

Thank Christ they made it! They’re gonna save him! They’re gonna save him.

Wait. What. 

WHAT THE FUCK, BLOND ASSHOLE. 

I HATE THIS JACKASS SO GODDAMNED MUCH, SOLDIER OF THE EMPIRE, I WANNER SHOVE MY SOLDIER UP YOUR EMPIRE YOU STUPID DICK. 

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Yay! Daddy Warcrimes finally took out his gun and 86’d that FUCK. CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!

Man...I hope this ends okay for Daddy Warcrimes. I hope his brothers aren't just dicking around somewhere warm while he and the other bros are out dying.

Guess that'll be next episode?"

....Doug snapped SO HARD watching 'Pabu'. Brace yourselves.

[certifiedstarrr]

After Party | Pt. 3 | ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* | Chris Sturniolo

| P1 | P2 |

GRAB YOUR TISSUES.

warnings: swearing, alcohol, shaming of looks, mention of sex (does not go into detail‼️), mentions of committing suicide (again, doesn’t go into to detail, self degradation (please don’t do this),

if you don't like smut, find smth else to do.

she/her pronouns will be used!!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

pink = y/n

green = lia

blue = matt

orange = chris

purple = nick

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧

**NOT PROOFREAD**

b/n: sorry if this sucks ass, first fanfic series ive ever written.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Well atleast I didn't remember anything. Right?

from P2

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I sat up in this bed that certainly wasn't mine.

"I must've had sex or something."

I muttered to myself, not knowing who was in the house.

"Oh, y/n you're up!"

"Hi Nick, why am I in you guys' house exactly?"

"You were absolutely wasted, we couldn't possibly leave you there so we took you home."

"Okay so no sex."

I murmured to myself, but I didn't want to stay here forever.

"I'm so sorry I must be a bother to you guys!"

"No no its fine! If you need anything come ask me or Matt." "Also there's towels in the bathroom, and breakfast waiting on the counter."

"Thanks Nick."

I got up feeling so ashamed that I got that drunk. Atleast I was sober? I thought to myself, I walked to the bathroom and closed the door.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, my mascara was smudged and my hair oily and grubby. Being raised to be neat and tidy all the time was having an effect on me, I shamed myself for being messy.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

In The Shower

"Well atleast you didn't have sex?"

"Going home is the right option"

"You're so stupid for being so drunk"

“Listen to what your mom says next time”

“Fuck”

*✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧･ﾟ:* *✧

I hop out the shower and wrap my tower around myself, grab my clothes and walk out. I close the door and start getting back on my clothes to leave.

“I’m probably such a bother,”

I murmured to myself. I was used to degrading myself, a lot. My parents made me do this,

“You can’t do anything!”

Their voices rang in my head, this is why I’d cry so often, have times where I ask myself,

“Why am I still existing?”

“Why can’t be enough?”

“Even if it commit, no one will notice.” Right?

A silent tear, sprinting down my cheek,

Why do I do this when I know I can stop?

When will it end?

“Get your act together y/n, this isn’t the time nor the place for your shit.”

I grab my clothes of the bed, attempt to make up the bed and start heading towards the door.

I walk out and bump into something.

Chris.

“I’m so so sorry Chris, I didn’t mean to!”

“Why do I always apologize frantically to him?”

“Watch where you’re going next time y/n”

I walk outside of the room Nick gave me with everything that I had; in hand.

“What’s up Y/n?”

“I’m so sorry again, I feel like such a bother to you guys.”

“You’re not a bother to anybod-”

Matt was then cut off by Chris.

“Well you are to me, so hurry up and leave.”

“Alright I’m done letting you treat me like that, I let you do that last night but now I’m over it,”

“You couldn’t even greet me!”

“Well I have my reasons.”

“What are your reasons Chris!? What are your reasons for not greeting somebody that you haven’t seen for like 10 years!?”

I’m trying. I’m really really trying not to cry, it’ll make me look weak.

“Just leave already y/n.”

“Chris why the fuck would you do that!?”

I’m already walking towards the door when Nick stops me. I can still hear Chris and Matt arguing in the distance.

“I’m so sorry y/n,”

My tears are already falling.

“I hated him but still greeted him, why do I still do it Nick?”

“I don’t know why he acts this way y/n,”

Now I feel problematic; a problematic, stupid, dramatic, girl crying.

“It’s fine Nick i’ll just go home.”

It’s not fine, who am I kidding?

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I walk out the door and call Lia to come pick me up.

“Lia?”

“Hey y/n you okay? Need me to come pick you up or something?”

“I need to come pick me up from the Sturniolo’s house. Please.”

“Okay i’m on my way.”

I end the call and break out into a sob, why am I like this? Cry, cry, cry, it’s all I do. All I ever do. It’s like i’m a baby who can’t use words, so they cry.

All the time.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Chris’ POV

I made her cry. I was already being an asshole last night when I couldn’t even greet her,

you fucking idiot.

I walk back to my room and close the door and flop onto my bed.

I scroll on Tiktok for what seems for hours, but it was only 10 minutes.

I should text her,

But what if she doesn’t want to forgive me, or even converse to me?

You really did fuck this up.

“Open up this godamn door Chris.”

I open the door knowing he going to yell and scold me; I would’ve too.

“Look I’m sorry Nick.”

“I shouldn’t be the one you’re apologizing to, it should be y/n. But I’m not here to yell at you.”

“I was going to text her but I dunno if I should or not”

“Chris, why don’t you like Y/n?”

“I don’t know.”

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Y/N’s POV

Lia’s car pulled up and I hopped in.

“Y/n are you okay?”

“Why doesn’t he like me?”

Bottled up frustration, anger, confusion, sadness, and disappointment in one good cry. We weren’t actually driving to a destination, just driving.

“What have I done or say, that he doesn’t like me?!”

I yelled in mostly frustration and confusion, not directed at Lia, but at; well I don’t know.

“I’m a good person, Right?”

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

@lovingmattysposts @novasturniolo03 @luvmxtt @tyjna6

[onelocket]

Words heavier than guns

Fyodor Dostoevsky + GN Reader

involves -- harm/violence, quotes from the real fyodor d., mentions of religion

kinda just sat down and started aggressively typing so yeah. might delete tomorrow

⚘

You wanted to show him the better world.

That’s all you wanted to do, all you had to live for. Neither your future nor dreams were above it. You wanted to show Fyodor Dostoevsky the better world that was already here, because he doesn’t seem to realize it himself.

"A better world?" Nikolai repeats your mumble, eyes slightly wide with amusement.

"My, what a brave one you are. Do you perhaps think similar as I? To indulge your emotions… for a guy who shows none."

Gogol’s words should be enough to eat you whole, but it failed to kill that wrecking force.

The days went on with fail to be numbered since you had your life dedicated to a guy like Dostoevsky, who you never actually knew your feelings to. Was it hatred, jealousy, or a love concerning for what he seems to show as his ideals and desires?

But even if you did find attraction to this man… to fall in love does not mean to love. One can still fall and still hate.

And you felt as if all three gutting emotions twisted you. Twisted your once logical heart — twisted your once stable mind. All twisted to melt to pure covetous.

His ideals of ‘changing’ this world to a better place left a bitter tune on your ears, disagreeing on every single word he had his beautiful voice sing out. How utterly wasteful.

"He is playing fools," You replied to Gogol, a finger of yours tapping on the table. "Dostoevsky is a fool with brains but no heart."

"Mhm? How would you define somebody who has a heart, then?" The clown in front of you smiled, his eyes near to squint with that entertained decoration.

"…Anybody but Dostoevsky is."

⚘

"I’d say you played yourself to who you call the fool," Fyodor smiled, "but to let mind realize something — If I’m what you call a fool with brains but no heart, then you are a fool with a heart but no brains."

You coughed out a pungent hatred for him, body sat on the floor with your palms supporting your heavy chest. Your eyes glare over his purple ones, never seemingly giving you a chance to find any peeked door to his true emotions.

His display was too good, even for the mind of yours.

Hand on your mouth, you slowly let it fall, eyes leaving his gaze to turn to the gun beside you. The gun you relied on to use if things got unsolvable.

It’s not even the situation that held that word at this point — Fyodor himself carried it.

You swore your own mind could kill as you can’t seem to discard that Gogol obviously told Fyodor about you and his conversation earlier this day. How else would Fyodor suddenly bring up a point you only made to the clown today?

The thought didn’t help, leading your mind to keep this… rather tense conversation going.

"Then that just makes the both of us fools, doesn’t it? We’re both unhappy, and we both suffer." You say.

"Knowing that, you’d still live in a fool’s paradise?" Fyodor replied, a smirk contorting on his face as if finding your reply entertaining.

"But never in yours, that’s for sure."

You asserted, lifting your hand up as a familiar sound of clicking comes out from the gun — now aimed at the man in front of you. Fyodor’s now faint smile remains untouched by your threat, his eyes narrowing down to examine yours. "Being shot in a church isn’t really in my ideal." Fyodor hummed out, as if situation was but a small talk for you and him.

"I’ve been trying to get rid - to burn those thoughts of yours that only bring death and punishment to this world. I fail to see the ‘better’ in there, yet you don’t think the same." You explained, as if trying to deny you were aiming a gun at his chest. Of course, you never plan to shoot him right now, but you can’t afford him to move either, so excuses are ought to be made.

"I wouldn’t just shoot the guy I’ve been trying to change his view even after so long, would I?" You finished with a chuckle, as if all was just a playful banter.

Yet to Fyodor — it played like a tinkle of bells with roses being thrown to a wedding aisle, but accompanied to thorns that could send even the angels from above bleeding.

Your voice and noise, words and mien was always patterned like the Devil instructed you itself, but with God planning every breath you took with it.

And as if you couldn’t get any better, your dedication to change his unmoved mind was nothing but entertainment. You disliked his side of beliefs, but you clearly had a reason to all be pressing onto this manner as if you were an ability user in threat.

You challenged the embodiment God and the Devil both sculpted for this world; now gotten sucked up by it. First committed to change his mind, being human second.

And to Fyodor, that was nothing but beautiful. A beautiful that isn’t boring for once. A beautiful that he didn’t need to change — a beautiful he can both consume or get destroyed in; depending on his desire.

Fyodor gifts you a low hum, "Ah, but of course. Love in action is harsh and dreadful compared to love in dreams, isn’t it?" peppering that sense with another question that leaves your stare more intense.

Love? Dreams?

"Tell me, milaya. What am I to you?"

What is he to you — that makes you want to even betray your own soul to make me see the world the way you see it?

You left him unanswered, your fingers gripping tighter on the metal while you look at him intently. For once, you didn’t think of an immediate reply to fight back. Not that you could — with you leaving your conflicted thoughts untainted, it was hard to reply calmly; no matter how collected you acted yourself out.

Lover, acquaintance and enemy — he was like all at once.

But Fyodor doesn’t wear any disappointed anticipation in his face as he just stares at you, to which… you weren’t sure if you could’ve done the same.

Instead, your eyes meet the overly large window behind him, lighting the whole church with an amethyst dark and elegant. Nothing was behind him but the window illuminating light, however you couldn’t help but feel as if God Himself was behind Fyodor, glaring at you with contempt Fyodor couldn’t show himself.

It accompanied Fyodor’s figure all too well — that irritating gaze of beauty making your mind twitch as you huffed out a soft noise, fixing your eyes back at him.

"What you want isn’t better. Killing others that have an ability like you isn’t going to bring forth any better." You cut the uncharacteristic silence, your body copying it in the process as you brought your knees to stand, gun still aimed at him.

"Being told so by a non-ability user brings me different." He spoke calmly, albeit his action turns otherwise as Fyodor steps forward to you, making your actions pause while your ears register that harsh, loud step on the wooden flooring of the empty church.

"All I want you is to follow what I see in this world. You just need to let me show it to you."

"And so do I want a better world to be seen… to be understood by all." He replied like your words were a question.

As if finding no acknowledgement to the gun aimed at him, you soon see Fyodor reach down, his fingers all gliding up to rest delicately on your forehead — feeling them tighten its grip on your hair in the process.

Your breath hitches, your intense stare on the guy in front of you creaking into something unfamiliar instead as his eyes follow your lips instead. The light fails to support you, your vision unable to see the true emotion in his eyes as your body froze, unresponsive to anything.

"But if a begging rat like you wants it so bad to be bringing guns to me," Fyodor rasped before properly speaking; the words sharpening themselves while he gently pulls your hair for you to look up, "Then destroy my desires. Eradicate my ideals, show me something better, and only then will I follow you."

[tqngerine]

stay in the middle — 28. shoulder to sleep on

SYNOPSIS: Huening Kai would do anything for his best friend Taehyun, and this one small favor is no exception. It appears that Kai’s fellow campus journalist Y/N has caught his attention, and Taehyun needs help connecting to them. Befriending someone outside of his small social circle wasn’t something Kai did often, but he comes to find that it’s easy to get close to Y/N—maybe even getting a little too close.

word count: 0.5k

Y/N dreamt of watching the cherry blossoms bloom in Japan for the first time. They reached up to feel the rosy pink grace their fingertips, basking in its rebirth from a cold winter. It was hard to resist the urge to jump around and dance with the petals, even without the company of a tune. Eventually, they tired out and slumped against its trunk to rest in its shelter, wrapping their arms around it with eyes fluttering shut.

The next time they opened their eyes, it was no longer a sturdy tree trunk in their embrace, but rather a cotton sleeve of somebody’s arm.

Wait.

“Hyuka!” Y/N yelped in realization, startling away from his side. They nearly fell off the bench but Kai quickly wrapped an arm around their waist to pull them back up.

“Woah, Y/N! Calm down, it’s just me.”

Y/N turned around to find that the outdoor food hall was less crowded, as students were mostly attending their classes by this time. In front of them, their BLT sandwich had barely been nibbled on, and Kai’s bowl of soup was now replaced by his laptop. And Kai himself… he was still as smiley as ever. “Oh my god, how long have we been here?!”

“About an hour and a half.”

Y/N’s face dropped. “Shit! Literature class is about to end! Ms. Seulgi’s gonna kill me!”

“It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You were tired and needed the rest.”

“But you’re supposed to have class at this time too right? Did you miss it because of me?”

Kai gestured at his laptop. “I was able to finish an assignment anyway. My time didn’t go to waste.”

“You should’ve woken me up!”

“I couldn’t! You looked too peaceful!”

“Should’ve shaken me until my bones fell off!”

“You know I wouldn’t do that!”

“But I…”

Kai gaze fell down to Y/N’s chin. Y/N’s ears turned red as his hand reached to wipe something off their chin. Electricity shot through their veins. “You drool in your sleep.”

“I… Kai!” Y/N stood up and pushed Kai even further from them, crossing their arms. “I take back what I said about my separation anxiety from you.”

“Really?”

Y/N made the mistake of looking back at his face, yet another penguin pout gracing his lips. They wanted to wipe it off him the same way he did to them. “What am I gonna do with you…”

Kai stood up, closing his laptop and putting it back in his bag. “I’ll make it up to you by walking you to your classroom so you don’t miss your next period this time. Sounds good?” It was a decision he was making, but he spoke it so softly.

Y/N really didn’t know what they’d do with him.

“Okay, fine. But I was really looking forward to today’s discussion. I had a lot to say, even noted it down and all.”

“Tell me about it on the way.”

“Can we just walk down campus for the rest of the day so I don’t have to stop talking to you?”

Kai let out another soft laugh, and every time he did that instead of the usual hearty laughs, Y/N’s shoulders squeezed like a lemon. “So do you hate me or not?”

“I could never hate you, Kai.”

< prev | masterlist | next >

A/N: find me someone who’ll lend me their shoulder to sleep pls thx 💔💔 AS FOR MY ANNOUCEMENT!!! MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! i have my term break coming up so i figured i’d have some more time now to write beyond this smau ^^ check this post out for more details 🫶🫶

TAGLIST: open!! leave a comment below or send me an ask to be included in this taglist ^^

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[gottawriteanegoortwo]

AHWM - A Voicemail to the Captain

You knew you would be busy. You knew you would be floored with responsibilities that seemed far greater than anything you could have expected. Yet, when caught in the middle of it all, you found yourself constantly surprised at the limits you needed to push yourself to. Being the most important person on the ship had a lot of responsibilities, and that was not including the mess with the crystal!

But, at last, you found a quiet moment where you could flee to your cabin to take a nap. Unfortunately, being too hasty meant you bumped against your desk while struggling to take off one boot, and something clattered to the floor. You spun around and realised it was your phone. Thankfully, it was unharmed despite the fall.

By right, you should have kept your phone off. There was no reason to waste the battery while in space. Instead, it became a virtual memory book. You would take time to look through photos of family and friends and remember what mattered most in your life. It would be a nice opportunity to do just that once your second boot was off. 

Instead of your usual lock screen greeting you, there was a notification:

“1 New Voicemail”.

It was dated from three hours ago. But how? There was no coverage. In fact, your phone still displayed the error that there was no coverage at the top of the screen. Yet, somehow, someone had gotten through.

You sat on your bed and called voicemail.

-

"Oh shit. I, uh, I didn't think I'd get through.”

You gasped. It was Yancy.

“I was so sure youse’s phone wouldn’t be reachable but I wanted to try anyway. Ain’t like I got anyone else to phone, right? Uh…Y’know what, fuck it. I’m leaving a long-ass voicemail for youse to get to when youse get the chance. It’s October 30th… Uh, 2022. We met this day a few years ago, and I’s been thinking. It’s weird not having youse around. Not in a bad way! I mean, I don’t want you giving up on this dream of youse’s just ‘cause I miss seeing a friendly face. It’s more like… Well, being in prison, you gets to be used to seeing certain people, y’know? Like, there’s the Gang, and then there’s the staff that rotate depending on they’s shifts. But I ain’t used to having people on the outside, so not being able to see someone is just… Kinda weird for me.

But I’s been good since youse last came to visit as part of space camp. The song’s coming along great. Youse is gonna love it, I think. Bam-Bam confidently called it a ‘bop’ when he heard it so I’m taking that as a good sign. A shame youse couldn’t stick ‘round a bit longer but I gets it. There’s a lot to do with all that space stuff, and I ain’t gonna pretend I understand it. Youse looked like you was under pressure anyway, like you had somewhere else youse needed to be. Heh, guess that comes with the territory of doing important space stuff, eh?”

You winced, You had hoped he would have forgotten that. You felt bad being pulled away before you could really do anything.

“I’ve been listening to the news a lot more on my little radio. Normally, I hate doing that sorta thing. I don’t care what folks get up to out there. But I wanna know when there’s news ‘bout the space trip. I know, I know, it’s slow. Can’t help it though. Wanna make sure youse is safe out there! Not like I can go kick an alien’s ass on youse’s behalf. And yeah, I know you can kick ass just fine youseself, but youse is also a very important somebody out there. Can’t risk you landing in extra trouble - youse probably has gotten in trouble by the time you hear this, heh.

It’s a shame there ain’t no way to write letters, or even emails. I’d try and figure out how they work if it can reach youse. I mean, I’m leaving a voicemail. That shit’s ‘sposed to be impossible, but - hey!”

You snickered as you heard shuffling and voices in the background. It was distant, but you were nearly sure you catch Yancy snapping “Fuck off! Call them yourself, you cheapass bum!” in the background. Going by the faint voices, you were of the belief it was Tiny and Sparkles McGee poking fun at him.

“Sorry. Certain assholes-” Yancy’s voice grew faint for that word, giving you the impression he had turned his head to insult them, “- had decided it’d be funny to try and hijack my call. Nuh uh. I don’t got another chance to do this call any time soon and I ain’t gonna waste it ‘cause someone wants to share their fart jokes. What was I saying before that… Oh yeah. Once you gets to the new planet, if it’s possible, think you could write a letter or something? Just so I knows you got there safe. I-I mean, not that I’m super worried or nothing, but, ah…” He fumbled over his words, and you are almost sure he really was worried. “It’s for parole, see. One of the parts of the application is to say what you intends to do, and I’ve been thinking ‘bout it and… I thought I’d go on the next shuttle, if there is one. I got nothing worth going out there for, but that don’t mean I can’t look to a whole new place, right?”

A familiar automated voice interrupted to announce there were only two minutes left in the call, and it seemed to snap Yancy to reality.

“Look, uh… Fuck. You best be keeping safe out there, ‘aight? Don’t be getting into fights where youse is unarmed and outnumbered. And, er… Keep being you. I’m proud of youse, and I hope they get to see that youse is such an amazing individual who can really bring about change just by being you. And, for what it’s worth? I… I miss-”

The line abruptly cut, signalling the end of the allocated time. Immediately, you choose to save the voicemail. It would be comforting having a little piece of home so far away. Then, after a moment of hesitation, you decided to play it again, if only to have that moment of normality in the midst of the chaos.

[definitionsfading]

I don’t know if my fatal flaw is that I want too much out of life, if I'm expecting too much artistry in the media I consume, but I cut corners in SO many areas of my life both financially and materialistically, so I guess art is a crutch I lean pretty heavily on. that being said: everything I've watched/listened to lately has been a HUGE letdown. some of the things I’ve tried to expose myself to I have borderline hated lmao. why??? WHY does it have to be this way? 

the new matchbox twenty album dropped yesterday; I have been waiting on this for months since I heard about it coming down the pipe. I listened to every single song on the record, chronologically, and felt entirely lukewarm about it. there is no magic left in their production. it’s toothless, forgettable, middle of the road pop music. the anger and the edge and the grit from the rock-riff stuff they were putting out in the 90s and very early 00s is gone. the intention and the underlying feeling is gone.

same thing with daisy jones and the six on amazon prime; disappointed. annoyed and left baffled. everything felt so cardboard and hollow, and at times, disrespectful to the MUSICIANS WHO ARE STILL ALIVE that the story line is clearly based upon (fleetwood mac). 

I could bore you and list off the books and other things that have let me down and left me hungry, but I’m not going to waste our time. it’s just like...everybody else is eating this shit up, singing its praises, and I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about?

it’s like nothing has a spirit in it anymore. everything contemporary (in the last 2-3 years) is made to be consumed and isn’t being crafted with real, genuine, time and love. they’ve drained it all to be bloodless and made it look like it’s alive on the outside, but it isn’t. it’s a false door that leads to nowhere. 

the only things that have grabbed me over the past six months, and genuinely moved me creatively, were bullet train and ‘the bedlam stacks’ by natasha pulley. and the ONLY reason bullet train really took me where I needed to go was because of the chemistry aaron taylor johnson and brian tyree henry brought to the screen together. without them and what they made through their unique rapport the film wouldn’t have been the same or had the same cult-classic sort of lasting power. period. 

I kinda just lurk around in a constant state of starvation. the same applies to fanfiction; 85% of what is being made isn’t something I’d want to eat, I have to pick everything apart with my fork and knife until there’s nothing but shreds left and most of it wasn’t edible. I really want to enjoy stuff, and I’ve tried to open my mind some to new things, but nobody digs as deep as I want them to. nobody goes the distance, you know? it’s so rare to find somebody who sees with me at eye level on the same things. 

I really hope good omens S2 brings some inspired creatives out of the woodwork who can really claw back the surface layer and show me something raw and beautiful. I know they can do it! it’s just so rare that people seem able to evoke that kind of vulnerability anymore, at least in spaces where it’s visible to me. perhaps I haven’t figured out how to Look yet, though I desperately try. 

[aajjks]

tc koo of course i’d want that baby.. it so sickening knowing some of these women imagine you holding them the way you do me.. i’d love to see the looks on their faces once they see how much you worship me.. i was the first and only woke to touch you wasn’t i.. the thought of that makes me clench so hard.. wanna feel? seeing as you’re the perfect husband, i can only imagine how amazing you’ll be as the father of my children-makes me wanna get pregnant right here, right now.. but we both know now isn’t the best time plus.. i’m quite possessive as well, want you all myself.. *yn looks him in the eyes with a serious expression* sana has tried to sneak into you chamber before.. why haven’t you told me. how many other whores have tried to sneak into your room! you’re right i should just calm down.. im sorry baby, forgive me? of course you can be drunk in my room, you’ll always be safe with me my love.. *yn slightly freezes* you wouldn’t want me to kill anyone.. uh, i see.. yeah, you’re right- with you i am an angel. hah.. my handsome, the only reason i’d tremble is because i feel safe with you, no need to feel confident with a sword but baby you don’t need a sword to kill somebody- or even weaken your opponent.. i’m just saying what my grandfather use to tell me when i was little.. it’s nothing really just something i remembered.. i promise won’t ever leave you or try to make you jealous my love, that’ll never happen! i’ll swear on it.

(talking to Ha-joon)

he can never know.. his response to even thinking i killed somebody.. he’ll stop loving me he finds out what we do. he can never find out. if he finds out, you know what will happen.

(back to jungkooook)

hello handsome.. well i did tell you i’d be quick, didn’t i? what, did you not trust me? yeah you’ll get to baby.. i’m okay it’s ju-just.. i wanted to tell you my secret.. no you’re right baby, i can tell you anything.. i know.. you’ll find out my secret huh.. okay well, i’ll tell you.. i.. i didn’t make your food.. i tried! but i burnt it so the cooks made it for you.. i know it’s a goofy secret but i.. i just wanted to make you proud but i failed.. i’m still learning though because i want to be the perfect wife for you and making sure you’re fed and we’ll rested it a part of that so i will keep working on it!

Jungkook: “Yn it’s just a fantasy of theirs, it’ll never come true so you needn’t get angry at all, yes you’re my first and only one. I love you so much, y-yes I can feel you, and I want to get you pregnant too but first I need to get rid of a few obstacles in my way, like concubine hae-soo’s father, he’s a governor and he’s plotting against me…. I think he wants me to conceive a child with his daughter- that will never happen but he will loose his head. I love it when you’re possessive yn. And as for sana, baby she’s no more, so why do you waste your energy on her, a lot of girls have tried to seduce me but no one could ever succeed, I’m yours. And yes I don’t want you killing anyone, my angel, you’re so good, you can never betray my trust like that…. I’ll always make you feel safe- huh? What did your grandfather used to say? My grandfather used to love me very much, as my mother used to tell me, but… my father, that bastard killed his own dad, so I killed him and took my revenge and ascended to the throne, you don’t hate me for that do you? Oh I love you so much, yn.”

ha-joon: “ma’am, please- I think someone is watching us, the king has spies everywhere, you can never know who to trust…. And yes I know… my queen you’d better leave!”

jungkook: “It’s okay yn… come here, I don’t want to eat right now, there’s an urgent issue that we need to discuss, a concubine has gone missing, I was just reported of the issue…. Shit, this is going to cause quite the stir…. What is going on in this palace huh?! Yn… I’m so stressed.”

[rphelperblog]

Assorted Sad Relationship Song lyric Meme

part one so it isn’t too long -feel free to edit or change pronouns or syntax- this will definitely be at random

“Always thought I’d go and make a fool of someone else. Now you’ve gone and made me make one of myself.”

“I never needed you like I do right now. But all you ever do is make me cry.”

“I can’t say that I’m innocent. not hardly, i’m sorry.”

“Every breath that I have been taking since you left seems like a waste on me.”

“I’ve been told to get you off my mind. But I hope I never lose the bruises you leave behind.”

“Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts.”

“Learned to live half alive.”

“Say something, I’m giving up on you.”

“I’ll be the one if you want me too.”

“Tell me you love me. I need someone. On days like this I do.”

“I’m going under and this time i think there is nobody to save me.”

“I guess I kind of liked how you numbed all the pain.”

“I’m done hating myself for feeling. I’m done crying myself awake.”

“You promised the world and I fell for it. I put you first and you adored it.”

“Sang off key in my chorus because it wasn’t yours.”

“You didn’t cheat, but your still a traitor.”

“I’ve been holding back tears while your throwing back beers.”

“so tell me to leave, I’ll pack my bags and get on the road. Cause you remind me everyday that I am not enough, but I still stay.”

“How long can I stay lost without a way to rewrite this story?”

“Someone tell me when- I can start again and rewrite this story.”

“So I really knew you, god, I really tried too.”

“But she gets the flowers right?”

“When you said you loved me, you must have had your fingers crossed.”

“I gave you my hours and advice to fix you and all your daddy issues.”

“Please don’t leave me hollow.”

“And then I got you off your knees put you right back up on your feet, just so you could take advantage of me.”

“You don’t want my heart. You just want attention.”

“I need someone to breathe me back to life.”

“And now that I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches.”

“Thought I was too smart for this, not a sucker for a kiss.”

“I know I have a heart because you broke it.”

“Running off just to see if I chase. i pretend I know how to erase you.”

“How long can I hang on? I’m caught in the storm.”

“It’s not simple to say that most days, i don’t recognize me.”

“It’s not easy to know that I am not anything like I used to be.”

“Tell me what she has that I don’t.”

“They are never gonna be like you. You set the bar above the moon.”

“You said by now we would paint the walls of our shared apartment and your still all I wanted.”

“She’s all you wanted. When it was my heart, you didn’t want it.”

“We fight, we get high holding on to love.”

“We came down because there was nothing holding us.”

“is it wrong that I still wonder where you are? Is it wrong that I still don’t know my heart?”

“The light is dying. Where are you? Will you answer me?”

“and it hits me when the likes go on, shit, maybe I miss you.”

“I don’t really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first.”

“I’m somebody you touch, but never hold.”

“The only thing worse than sleeping alone is sleeping with your ghost.”

“All I really wanted was that look in your eyes like you know that I am the love of your life.”

“Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.”

[slapegg]

Some Thoughts About Saints Row 2022

Some thoughts about… Saints Row (2022)

Despite being a big big fan of Saints Row the Third and 4 (and finding Gat Out of Hell… tolerable, since you could play as Kinzie), the previews for the new Saints Row series did not grab me. The trailers lacked style, substance, or humor and the new cast felt like they were rejected from a Ubisoft game. But the sales are here now, so I gave SR a chance!

To get the big complaint out in the open from the beginning, the new Saints Row doesn’t try to really do anything exciting. No interesting story, characters, or game mechanics. It’s a very tried and true open world crime game that won’t rock the boat or surprise you. And that’s not inherently an awful thing. However, because it isn’t daring and sticks to the basics so heavily, all the broken and bad things in it really stand out. I tried to not make my write-up just pages of every bug, bad decision, poor balancing, or janky bit I came across, but I think that because the game is so by-the-numbers, calling all that out is really important. If the game had been daring, really tried for something new, or gone all out, I’d have been so much more forgiving of its problems. But because it’s so plain AND they couldn’t execute on that without so many problems, I’m fine calling out its many faults.

Boss creation is less cartoony and more limited, despite having tons of options but mostly for stuff that doesn’t lend itself for a character I want to be. The inclusion of prosthetics is great, but I don’t need fantastical skin textures or materials. Having a thousand options doesn’t matter if only 2 of them are good. And despite all the work, the Boss still comes out wrinkly and veiny or their face looks distorted in some cutscenes. My boss got stuck with a permanently angry face after completing a mission and it only went away after reloading the game.

I made my character in the Boss Factory app, started playing the game, unlocked a new clothing item by completing a challenge, for some reason this removed all the custom colors on my outfit (a bug that occurs EVERY time you buy a clothing item), I remade my outfit but didn’t have the clothing options from the app so it’s a worse outfit, saved it so I didn’t have to do that again, and it wrote over the Boss I made in the app so I lost it and that clothing. The clothing options feel a lot less varied and interesting than before and you don’t have access to certain shops until the final third of the game, so all the time spent customizing things and having them constantly be deleted just feels so much more wasteful because at the end of the day, your boss isn’t going to have any cool styles anyway.

While it does get better, SR suffers from a really weak opening. Your first few missions have too much combat with really weak and uninteresting weapons so the opening sections drag on. It takes so long to get to anything interesting, that you’re given some strong vibes that maybe, there just won’t be anything that is new and interesting to come. The new characters stink. I hated 2/3s of the crew from the start and Neenah only got a pass because the game doesn’t really do much with her beyond “she’s good with cars and like art”. I’m not sure who the writers were trying to appeal to, but Eli and Kev are extremely unappealing people, your Boss is a severely watered down version of Bosses past, and the supporting cast are lots of one-note characters that mainly exist for gameplay reasons so missions have somebody for you to fight. The game treats all of it as fluff, repeating the same one-note jokes for each crew member, but then there are a few moments where the game tries to pull out a sad backstory and it… just does not earn any of it. The scenes fall so flat and the game almost acknowledges that because it gives you the “sad” moment and then never brings it up again and dangles the next action mission at you. Neenah had a sad reason for coming to Santo Ileso, right? Aaanyway, you just completed a challenge and earned a perk, and go check your phone for a new mission! Kev had a sad childhood, eh? Hey, here’s a trophy and go check your phone for a new mission!

The events that kick off the formation of the Saints don't make sense if they're played straight. I spent most of the game thinking we’d be uncovering a setup and trying to figure out who was running the double-cross, and then getting annoyed that none of the characters were investigating it. But then... nope. Played straight. It's just bad writing.

That’s not to say there isn’t funny content in the game, it’s just few and far between and when it does get a genuine laugh, it makes you sad that there are writers here that clearly understand actual comedy and so much of the game is… less than that. There are little snippits like seeing the horrible board game the crew plays and they are exactly the kind of insufferable people that would play board games like that. Then your crew’s reaction to watching footage of your Boss doing her thing and “being good at murder”. Or the lady on the bounty hunter app that you help shoot her husband. Or when the bounty hunter app is turned against you and NPCs in the city start trying to murder you. There’s funny material buried in all the bland stuff, but the funny bits are still outnumbered by, ugh, just the lamest reference-based humor and awful characters. There’s a veeery extended Portal/Still Alive joke in the game if you need an idea how outdated the writing is.

There’s good story potential about gig economy gangsters, franchising, and the corporatization of crime, but the game doesn’t go for it. There’s a late game deconstruction of your Boss having to deal with somebody that acts the same way she does, but it comes very late in the game. The funnier/most Saints way to handle a reboot would have been to make this new crew franchising the Saints name to expand to a new area and just never mention the time travel, aliens, and spaceships. The new crew even goes from a gang of nobodies to invincible empire that nobody even bothers to try to bring down over the course of one mission. A big part of the middle of the story is that “the Saints” are essentially a corporate entity that can be legally owned, so the game treats the new gang the same way the old Saints worked. The original Saints built up to the empire and only achieved corporate status after taking over an actual corporation at the end of the second game, but this reboot wants to have it both ways and reach the same status as the original crew in just half a game. The “origin story” part of the new game is weak, so you could keep all their existing motivations to form a gang but use the franchise route rather than them just stumbling on the name and logo. This would help speed things up, have the business side of the story make sense, and inject a bit more energy into the game early on. There’s a section where you do a battle royale and it seems like it’s going to be the game’s version of Prof. Genki, but it’s a pretty staid and no frills combat arena. It could have been so much more. But “could have been so much more” is practically this game’s motto. The story feels like it was written by multiple people at the same time and they never shared notes. Characters and events are set up to be significant and then never amount to anything. By the time the game ends, it feels like everybody had run out of time and it was pencils down no matter what.

You also hit the level cap less than 50% of the way through the game. It feels like the company decided the game was too short and inflated the costs and task counts to pad out the game, but then forgot to adjust how much experience it takes to level up. And all the bonus tasks in Side Hustles pay out experience rather than money, so they really don’t feel worth doing. They’re not fun, they slow things down or risk failing the mission, and their rewards are useless, so just skip them and try to finish things as quick as possible.

The evil gangs don’t really stand out. They’re antagonists but it just feels like they’re there for the sake of being there. Outside of a few missions, your main interactions with them are that they populate an area and you have to kill everybody in that area to complete your task. If you’re expecting anything like the gangs from SR3, you’re not going to get that. The hypocritical anarchists are the best of the three and they’re… dumb Instagram versions of Miller’s gang. The car thief gang is pretty generic. And the dirtbag private military corp is just a lesser private version of STAG from SR3.

For the city, the desert is a pretty boring environment. Large parts of the map are empty and you’re going to be doing a lot of aimless driving around the outskirts trying to uncover the missions. It’s just a pain to drive around too due to hills and rocks. Your car is constantly either coming to a full stop because it bumped into a hill or it will flip because you glanced at a rock. The game’s version of the STAG hover bikes can’t fly anymore so your only option for getting up cliffs is to fly everywhere in a helicopter. I’m all for doing something other than a normal city, but a plain desert isn’t fun or interesting. The city parts need some cartoon Vegas. Even in the most Vegas-y area, it’s still fairly generic. Steelport, with its skyscraper ads and glowing neon in the main district, had more of a Vegas feel than Santo Ileso.

Vehicle control is… weird. Your car is either indestructible or it flips over if you even look at a bump in the road. The big addition is being able to side swipe cars, but it’s not a “move”, you just hold a button and manually drive into their side. Most of the time, it just causes you to spin out so it’s not exactly helpful. The way the game talks up its importance, I was expecting the side swipe to be something like shunting your car side to side like in The Wheelman and I was all excited for that, but it turns out to be little more than a different kind of braking.  The move doesn’t even work well. There are times you can be going full speed and you swipe into the side of an enemy aaand they take 0 damage. Other times, you can be going slower and slightly bump into a car and it will explode and fly into the sky. I failed a chase mission because a cop car (on its own) bumped into a bus, this caused the cop car to explode, which then caused the bus to explode, and since I was pulling up next to the bus, my car exploded. All of this happened in less than a second so there wasn’t much I could do about it. There’s also no reason to try to drive evasively, or even well, because cops in this game can just straight up teleport. I was doing a mission with a chase in it, drifted onto a side street to lose the cop car behind me, it failed to make the turn, and I felt really good watching their dot on the minimap go past my street. ...Until the red dot on the map disappeared and then reappeared on my street traveling at normal speed. In a car with nitro? Well it doesn’t matter because enemies keep up with you no matter what you’re driving and even if you’re in a sports car going full blast with nitro. All this means that using the side swipes is the only way to stop enemies from bumping into your car and causing it to spin out.

So far, Saints Row 2022 has really watered down what was in previous games, so what does it add?

The best things are the game customization/accessibility options. They give you a lot of control over different aspects of difficulty like how the aiming snap works, how much health things have, how much ammo enemies drop, and timers (which sadly only works for some mission types but not others).

The wingsuit. It… exists? The game never puts it to good use so it just seems like a worse and less useful version of floating in SR4 because you don’t have the super jump to go with it. It takes a while to deploy too so it’s not something you use at will. Outside of missions or challenges that require it, I didn’t once use the wingsuit while playing normally.

They’ve added takedowns, where you earn meter over time and for killing enemies and then you press a button next to an enemy to do a takedown. It’s an instant kill on normal enemies, but you can just kill them with a few headshots anyway. For “Tough” enemies, you have to hurt them enough to drain their armor before you can do a takedown on them, and you’re probably trying to fight them at a distance anyway, so that’s not great either. The only thing it’s good for is that it gives you some health back. The animations are also pretty long, so I found myself not wanting to do them because it’s faster to just shoot everybody not hiding behind a shield.

Instead of permanent upgrades, you now equip up to five perks. You can swap them out at any time, but there are only a handful that are useful or do anything unique, so I stuck with the same perks for most of the game. You also have super moves that also refill as you do damage, but I constantly forgot they existed and almost never used them outside of some very specific instances. They’re not as interesting as the super powers from SR4. It’s mainly basic things like “throw a grenade” or “do a quick draw” or “do extra damage for X seconds” or “summon two helpers”.

Criminal Ventures make up most of the focus of the game and it’s neat, in theory, to set up evil businesses around town, but the execution is more tedious than fun. They’re suuuper expensive to create to the point that multiple times I considered leaving the game running over night to generate idle income for them, and it saps your ability to do much else. I passed up buying clothes for my character, unlocking perks, and upgrading weapons because creating the next business cost so much so there was a constant pressure to save money. For the actual content, their repetition is the main problem. So many are just “steal a thing and drive it back with a wanted rating”. The ones that are kind of unique are super short, like two or three steps short, but the ones that are repetitive seem like they go on forever. The waste disposal one makes you slowly drive a dozen trucks back to the business, but it could have been like four and that would have been plenty. And then the Planet Saints Venture is to… steal a dozen of a different kind of truck and drive them back to the business. There isn’t enough repetition in the simple tasks for the business and then multiple businesses use the same task so it’s just tedious. Between the unlock cost and inflated task counts, it really feels like the company used these to artificially pad out the length of the game, and the product suffers for it. And they ruined Insurance Fraud. Getting hit knocks you away from traffic and doesn’t pop you in the air as much. The camera is also awful and your characters shadow isn’t easily visible so it’s difficult to line up bounces and you have less air control. Then sometimes your character just gets stuck and won’t get up or run, so your entire Adrenaline boost is wasted because the character won’t move. It’s just a really bad version of something you’ve done a lot in the series so you know what it’s like when it’s fun versus what you get here.

The payouts for Ventures also don’t scale as you get deeper into the game. Unlocking the next tier of Venture is gated by your story progress, so it’s not like you can just do them all up front so the designers knew where you are in the game when you can complete each one. Completing a tier 1 Venture pays out $30K, which is exactly enough to buy another tier 1 Venture. Yay, that’s great. Completing a tier 3 Venture also pays out $30K but now another tier 4 Venture costs $400K, so you have 2-3 hours of killing time until your idle income generates enough money to continue. The small tasks around the map only pay out $5K so they really only feel like time wasters to give you something to do while you wait. Even at the very end of the game, story missions might pay out $200K when the final Ventures cost $1.4 million.

And, while considerably less important than the gameplay issues, music has been a big part of Saints Row as a series and 2022 disappoints again. Saints Row 3 and 4 made electronica and dubstep fun. There are songs fthat I discovered through Saints Row and now listen to on their own thanks to the fantastic soundtracks. In 2022, I mostly stuck to the synthwave station, but it’s all really generic stuff. At one point, the game bugged out and kept playing the same song on loop and it took me about ten minutes to realize what was happening. Even the DJs have no personality. They just read a message out about the song and play it. The newscaster is also so so dry. She comments on news stories related to the outcome of missions you’ve done, but the vast majority of them are little more than “this thing happened” and that’s all. There’s no extra follow-up or consequence and no jokes to build off the stupid thing you were involved in. Jane Valderamma she is not.

Even if you’re in the mood for a wholly generic and bland open world crime game, Saints Row 2022 is just a sloppy and buggy game. I had multiple crashes that took my system a good minute or more to even process that it had crashed and then recover from it. Save after EVERY task you complete! I also had a rare but reoccurring issue where my controller would just disconnect in the middle of gameplay. I’d be driving along and then my headphones would go quite and the game was still going, but then you quickly realize that even though the car is still driving forward, you can’t steer it. After about 30 seconds, it pops up a message that says the controller disconnected and you can just tap the home button and everything recovers. Outside of the dozen people you just ran over because your car was hurtling straight forward the whole time. Sorry, not really my fault! I’m a benevolent murderous crime boss.

Missions just break. You’ll be doing a drive-along mission and the AI gets the car in a place where it can’t just drive forward and it can’t back up, so you’re stuck and have to restart the whole mission and lose progress on your goals and there’s nothing you can do about it because the AI is the driver and you can’t influence how it drives. You’ll start a mission and it just won’t go and none of the buttons work, you can’t pause, and you have to force close the game. On almost every one of the getaway driver missions, the AI partners wouldn’t appear after the heist but the game acted like they were in the car and forced me to drive away. All of the in-car chatter would be silent but then halfway through the escape, dialogue would play about the partners still being at the crime scene. Without them there to play the dialogue about where to go, I’d fail the mission due to the strict time limits, but when I restarted the checkpoint, the partners would be in the car and the dialogue would play normally.

I also got into a state where I couldn’t pick up collectibles. The prompt was on them and the character animated when I pressed the button, but they stayed on the map and I couldn’t get them. I was able to go back and “re”-collect them eventually.

There are a number of missions where you have to hold down a position and you’ll fail if you leave the zone. The problem is that enemies spawn from outside the zone and FREQUENTLY get stuck trying to get close to you. They’ll get out of their vehicles far away from you but then never walk towards you so they’re well out of the range of normal guns. They’ll get stuck behind obstacles like rocks and not be able to path around it (so now you can’t kill them because there’s a rock between them and you). ALWAYS carry a sniper rifle just because of these missions. Or just fail the mission and be forced to redo the whole thing and hope it works a second time.

With so many of the missions being “drive to point X, get vehicle, drive it back to the start”, the game is really bad about putting markers on the map or showing the GPS. Some times it puts an icon at the final destination, most of the times it doesn’t. At the start of each mission, you have to open the map, slowly scroll to the destination, place your marker, and then after getting the vehicle, open the map back up, slowly scroll to the return point, and place another marker.

Oh man, why does the map scroll so slowly!?

It doesn’t show you bonus objectives for missions during the task, only if you return to the mission menu after starting a mission.

I had a lot of trouble getting my character to reload. Sometimes it takes three or four button presses to get them to do it. That’s pretty bad in a game with a lot of shooting.

One of the Venture mission lines forces a specific special move on you in a specific equipment slot, but it was a move I already had mapped to a different slot. Once I cleared the Venture, I went to put the move back in my preferred slot but the game had unequipped it and wouldn’t allow me to equip it to any slot. I could put other moves in the preferred slot and in the mission slot but I couldn’t interact with that move until I quit the game and relaunched it.

The game is bad about showing you perks or skills you unlock. It says you can hold the menu button to jump to it, but that rarely worked. So I had to manually enter the menu and hunt down the skill across multiple categories and try to find the new one because the new one isn’t marked until you enter the specific slot it goes in.

Challenges frequently just don’t count progress. One challenge is to steal three specific car types and the first two worked but it wouldn’t count the third. I had to steal it multiple times across sessions until one time it just marked off as complete. I have no idea how to progress one challenge to sideswipe cars with a specific truck. The pop-up appears that I’ve sideswiped the car and I get experience for it, but then when I check the challenge, I’m still at 0/50. On top of how weird getting them to register is, you also can’t make progress on challenges until the game specifically presents them to you. A lot of the challenges are tedious “do X thing Z times” and you may have fulfilled the conditions several times over, but once the challenge appears, it always starts at 0.

There’s a mission in the game, “Bad Cop”, where you have to tether a car and damage it to intimidate the person inside, and it’s one of the most frustrating and broken missions I’ve played in a while. Phase one is that you have to smash the car into shipping containers, but the game won’t register the hit but crates are already destroyed so you have to quit and restart the mission. Phase two is that you have to slam the car into smoke stacks, but the tether randomly breaks and then the car instantly explodes and you fail and have to restart the mission. Phase three is that you have to dangle the car in fire, but the game can fail to recognize the car is in the fire and for some reason this causes the mission to fail and you have to restart it. There are no checkpoints in this mission, it has a lot of unskippable dialogue, and it’s not fun to do any of these things. I was so, so mad by the sixth or seventh attempt when I finally got lucky enough for each step to work.

And maybe my favorite minor bug, the final boss’s death doesn’t work properly. When you shoot the final boss, instead of being hurt or reacting, the boss starts playing an idle animation where they look around bored and confused. I thought I did something wrong or the joke was that your character actually missed the shot and that was the funniest thing the game had done. But no, once the scene switches, the boss is suddenly on the ground bleeding out. You can really tell how much care went into this game.

Not to get all “and the portions are so small” but for as bland as the story is, they don’t even give you a reason to replay it. When I first played SR3, I beat it, and then immediately started a new game so I could go through the story again making different choices. SR2022 has a single choice, where the bad option is explicitly spelled out for you that it won’t work but then you can still choose it anyway. It doesn’t even end up affecting gameplay or the story. Choosing the bad choice just cuts the next part of the cutscene short and the game ignores everything it told you about the choice not working.

I could go on and on about minor stuff like guns on your weapon wheel turning invisible, the game constantly unequipping weapons from you, guns being invisible while you’re holding/shooting them, fast travel not working to get you to the start of a mission, and so forth but this write-up is too long and I think you get my points by now.

Yeah, so, my wrap-up is that Saints Row 2022 is not just a bad game or a poorly made game, but even if you fixed those issues and bugs, it’s still just a game with no ambition. What was the point of rebooting Saints Row so flat? What did they want to say or do? After finishing it, I still don’t know the answer. SR3 seemed to be about making a game where the decisions were made based on what was the more fun option. SR4 seemed to be a commentary on open world game where they just went right for the power fantasy and bypassed tropes, and gave you powers to get over conforming to the rules of the genre. But Saints Row 2022 doesn’t really DO anything. It has all the bits of an open world game, it has mechanics, and it has missions, but it also seems totally uninterested in sticking its neck out, trying something new, having something to say, or having an impact. It’s a game of checkboxes and at the end of development, somebody figured enough boxes were checked and the game was launched, bugs and all. If you’re in the mood for a “just another one of those kind of games” open world game, give it several months for updates to come and then play it in short doses because “turn it off and back on again” is an important rule in this one.

[steveskafte]

SOME CALL IT JOY Most folks would tell you that they don't practice comparative happiness, but it's a very human thing to dismiss the pleasures of anyone who found them in places opposite to your own. If you've read me now for any amount of time, you're familiar with my rather fundamentalist childhood. When I was growing up in the church, there was always an implicit message in the testimonies – what you could call the "once was lost, but now I'm found" narrative. Their origin stories might vary wildly, but for whoever was standing on that stage, the key result was the universal happiness we all now shared together. Trouble for me was, I was never happy. I'd been deeply immersed in all that stuff from the start, and it made me consistently disquieted with each passing year. Maybe it was my inbuilt introversion, hating to be in a room full of people. Perhaps it was my disconnection to spiritual things. I liked to taste, touch, hear, see, and smell – but the abstract notion of supernatural connections never found a place in my heart. In my late teens, early twenties, I went hard down that straight and narrow road. Countless meetings, prayers, fasting, reading, and study. Total immersion in everything and everywhere I'd been taught to find happiness hiding. By the end of it, I'd reached a low even lower than I'd ever imagined before. It got so rough that I started asking myself if therapy or medication was what I really needed. Assuming that was the only remaining option for getting happy, I thought I'd start by taking a break from looking. It was right about this time that I really got into exploring. The first year of my daily journal mostly fell to last minute evenings, while I worked long days for the cable company. It was 2008 when I finally left that job, and started pulling back from the church as well. I honestly didn't expect any improvement in my mental state. I believed I'd already exhausted my options, and this was just a roundabout way of giving up. But as I drifted from all things spiritual, it was like somebody finally turned on the light. It's hard to explain the depth of my surprise, when I realized how much happier I'd been capable of being. For years, I'd been like some desperate monkey, trying to pull his prize from a hole in a tree. Fist closed tight, unable to get his hand out the way he got it in. Letting go was the best choice I ever made. Now maybe if I were asked to offer a testimony, it might go like this: "I once was found, but now I'm lost." Tried to make it make sense to them, but never could get it across. You see, I wanted so much to share the irrepressible beauty and wonder I'd experienced exploring, but I didn't use the right language. Couldn't find the words to make them understand that I was truly happy, and full of the hope I'd been after. If I changed the words, turned "nature" to "God" or made my adventures sound more spiritual, who knows? But it turns out that no one in the church wants to hear about you finding more joy outside it. So I finally stopped going, and now it's been seven years since I last sat through a service. I don't know that anyone who reads me could use this advice, but on the off chance, here goes – don't waste your life thinking that there's only one real road. It could be the one you thought, but look nothing like you've imagined, or everyone you've met might have misinterpreted it. There's nothing wrong with being on your own, and there's no great good in community if they're not your kind of person. Fellowship is cold comfort without friendship. Think about five things that have made you happiest, and if those things aren't present in your life, ask yourself if you're really living where the truth lies. It's okay to be miserable, it's fine, don't feel bad about feeling bad. But don't go running to unhappiness just because some call it joy. June 2, 2023 Paradise, Nova Scotia Year 16, Day 5682 of my daily journal.

[guyawks]

The Grief Is Always Greener

There is no pain worse than burying your own child.

When my son was first diagnosed with leukemia, I fell apart. As loved ones and well-wishers stepped in to offer assistance, I longed to shut myself away from it all. Even though I knew they meant well, I couldn’t stand the attention. All I wanted was my old life back with Billy healthy.

By the time the cancer took my angel from me, I was a different person.

In place of the warmth and kindness I’d once fostered, now all I could feel was bitterness and resentment. Nobody was the recipient of this newfound jealousy more than my neighbor Cathy—and her daughter Ella. From the moment they approached me at the wake to offer condolences, I irrationally hated them.

Why did it have to be me going through this agonizing loss, and not Cathy? Why was it my kid deprived of growing up, and not Ella? Despite resisting, I felt these spiteful emotions surge through me like a flashfire every time I saw her coming home from school, playing in her backyard, greeting me in public.

Before I knew it, I began to fantasize about Cathy’s child dying, too.

I pictured her shriveling up and wasting away like Billy had. They were deplorable thoughts but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling them. Like some malevolent force, I sensed a pure, toxic malice radiating out of my mind and into Ella. It was as if my grief had manifested into a living evil.

That’s when the unthinkable started occurring.

Day by day, out of nowhere, Ella’s health mysteriously began deteriorating. As I’d imagined happening, the little girl next door became lethargic, pale and bedbound, the same way that Billy had. Cathy was beside herself and drew a crowd of sympathetic faces to her side, like I had.

My mind couldn’t have really caused this, right? They were just thoughts, the indulgent thoughts of a broken, grieving woman. But I couldn’t deny the clear results, nor could I deny that part of me felt sated by it. My cosmic venom kept being transmitted to that poor girl.

Until finally, like Billy, she passed away.

Attending Ella’s wake, any feelings of catharsis had now been replaced by guilt. There was no fairness I could see, no justice. Just two stolen lives. Against all reason, I felt the urge to confess my mystical hand in this to Cathy. But, as I went to spill my heart out, she confessed to me first.

“Martha, I just have to tell somebody: I poisoned Ella to death with drain cleaner!”

I was speechless.

“I know it’s awful” she cried to me, batting her mascara-tinged lashes. “But I was so jealous seeing all the attention you got when Billy died.”

“There’s no pain worse than watching your friend bury their own child.”

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Calm Prompt List

What a blessing to feel your love

Twilight moments with you

Won’t you leave all your fears at the edge of the world

You’re the only one I’d do this for

The demons we’re running from, they are begging to stay

Angel, with the gun in your hand

I only light up when cameras are flashin’

Diggin’ my grave to get a reaction

I’ll give you my permission, you’ll always be forgiven

When you’re craving something sweeter than the words I left in your mouth

Shout out to the old me and everything he showed me

Had to fuck it up before I really got to know me

Never a night alone, anywhere you wanna go

Woke up in the morning wearing someone else’s clothes

Pictures in my phone with people I don’t know

Woke up in the morning, how the hell’d I make it home?

And they wondered how long I could keep it up

But I wondered if I ever, if I’d ever get enough

And I did some shit I never should’ve done

I would do it over now

Look into the mirror, take the punches that I throw

Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?

But I know that I’m never, ever gonna change and you know you don’t want it any other way

Why do we always gotta run away?

It’s like we’re looking for the same thing

Yeah, do we really gotta do this now?

I love you so much that I hate you

Right now, it’s so hard to blame you cause you’re so damn beautiful

Every time that you say you’re gonna leave, that’s when you get the very best of me

The hardest part of all is that we’re only built to fall

Some days, you’re the only thing I know

Sometimes, you’re a stranger in my bed

Don’t know if you love me or you want me dead

Push me away then beg me to stay

Every little lie gives me butterflies

Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

Some days, you’re the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand

You’re looking at me like you don’t know who I am

And I can see it in your face, you’ve got a side you can’t explain

I love it when you wear your hair down over your shoulder

Cause I know where tonight is going

You’re the only one who makes me — Every time we —

You know you are my favorite fantasy

You’re tellin’ me you wanna come over

You’ve got a million reasons to hesitate

But darling, the future is better than yesterday

I wasted so much time on people that reminded me of you

But I’ll build a house out of the mess and all of the broken pieces

I’ll give you the best years

I wanna hold your hair when you drink too much, carry you home when you cannot stand up

I wanna hold your hand while we’re growing up

I love you, you love me, but not in the same way

We fuck and we fight, then you call me a psycho

I walk out the door, but you won’t let me let go

But I can’t forget you and I’ll always let you

I know you think I’m bulletproof but you know how to hurt me too

Dance around the living room, lose me in the sight of you

You’re the only thing that I think I got right

When the sun goes down we all get lonely

Killing me slow with the words you wrote

I don’t think I like me anymore, will someone tell me who I was before?

Down on my knees, I’ll always follow, I promise you, until the end of time

Can I start another life, with you?

When I wake up in a haze and I haven’t slept in days, you’re a thousand miles away

If you can’t find another reason to stay

I’m gonna always have a lonely heart

I hope you think of me high

I know your friends don’t like me

Today I called to tell you that I’m changing

I need to stop letting me down

Stained hearts trying to find a home, looking for something real

You’re the only one that makes me feel alive

You’re the only one that matters

I don’t wanna kill my time with somebody else

He’s only got half of your heart cause I’ve got the other part

[radfem-woman]

All I can think about with that plarn post (crocheting from plastic bag strips) is the huge note posts of people trashing anyone who avoids animal product wool yarn because “the alternative is (usually) plastic!!!!”

And i mean like I’m someone dedicatedly avoids plastic as though I were allergic to it all. I hate it and its 24/7 pollution shedding behavior. I avoid industry harvested animal products but will use traditionally made ones.

But it’s still so funny to me how people are about plastic. Smugly aghast anyone would everrrr pick it over animal product material AND at the same time addicted to using gobs and gobs of plastic in their lives in addition to shitty industry made animal product material.

Where’s the hordes of people telling ms demeanor shes fucking up the environment making bags from plastic not (factory made, lots of pollution from the process) leather? A lot of plastic “vegan leather” or “vegan yarn” is recycled plastic. I’d don’t really like any of it, but it’s the same thing. Some of it meanwhile is like mushrooms somehow idk.

It’s just a sign of hypocrisy to me and how a lot of people hate vegans most because they are nervous about someone potentially being more ethical than they are, in a way they don’t want to commit to, and so need to tear it down by any means… even hypocritical means.

Meanwhile I’m not vegan but I can respect how a lot of people approach it and see no need to tell them a lot of shit marketed as vegan leather etc is plastic with that tone and intent. The “haha you’re a dupe and soooo much worse than all of us! Who use lots of plastic probably even more plus the animal industry product totally never ever use plastic” tone. It’s not hard to just say oh if you’re vegan and care about the environment, don’t fall for plastic replacements, here’s a list of nonplastic replacements, and perhaps consider certain used or responsibly/traditionally made animal materials are in this case better. But most people won’t because it was never about sustainability to them, it was an opportunity to cut down someone else.

That last sentence fr. A lot of people will just talk down about someone just so they can feel marginally better about themselves and say well at least I'm not like x all while avoiding looking at anything outside of themselves and the larger implications of the choices they make. Things would be a lot better with plastic pollution if the focus shifted to using well made ethically/traditionally sourced natural fiber and leather items that are made for longevity. Especially if they get materials or the items themselves from somebody local to them. Things that will not pollute the environment nearly as bad when the item becomes no longer useable. Its a struggle though because plastic is everywhere, and large corporations will jump to it because its cheaper for them to use. And people will go and buy those things because its cheaper short term for them too. Reminds me of something i saw a while back talking about how poorer people spend more because they can only afford the cheaper item that will last a short while and then can only afford the replacement of it and it becomes a cycle of spending money, while people who arent poor like that can afford to buy the higher quality item that will last for quite a while spending less in the long run because they only had to buy it once or maybe a couple times. I think its also that people dont know where to look for more ethically sourced materials because the market is flooded with shit and it can be hard to know where to start or what to even do. I can respect people trying to mitigate their waste with what they have available to them, and with stuff they already have that would otherwise go to a landfill. Though I agree that plastic is shit and we should all try our best to minimize our consumption of it. The hypocrisy of people criticising things like that in a condescending way while ignoring looking at their own consumption habits, and offering no tangible helpful alternative is really grating. Idk if my answer here really makes sense to ur ask but I get what ur sayin

[blondrichclosetwitch]

I feel good

So good, so good, 'cause I got you

I knew that I would

Brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road

To get your prescription filled

My favorite flavor, cherry red

She was practiced at the Art of Deception

Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands

“You can’t always get what you want.”

Everything’s waiting for you

When the war started new in our bed, I’ll cum for you, cum for me too

Don’t let her waste your time (finally got that one)

I can’t believe what the Lord has finally sent me

Burning bridges

Joan of arc

It’s obscene

It’s pornographic

It’s filthy

It’s pornography

No one knows that’s why the debate rages every couple of years

Camera Pulls back; A breast

Camera pulls back; she’s totally naked

coke is on my shopping list this week dammit

CLEAR AS SHIT I WAS NOT THE ISSUE

It’s bound to melt your heart one way or another

Are we killing each other? When you’re sleeping with someone who doesn’t get you you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning

Somebody sent me

Blue Jean is the song of the day; also they used to call me Blue Jean. It even got it’s own graffiti. (It’s still there. )

These are the hands of fate

And God is whomever you perform for

I know you feel the things you see, you know they're true

What are you gonna do?

I know you wouldn't be the way you feel if you could choose

What are you gonna do?

Happy petition

You were the first man who really loved me

Blood all over the house you reside in

She asked for my love and I gave her a dangerous mind

Well, I love the little girl

Look for the girl who has put up with all of your shit

Oriole 5

Under a veil you must never lift

You jump into the mirror on the edge of the labyrinth

Your world is just beginning

I was riding in the car when we both fell

They think I go abracadabra, leave and come back, cause I’m different

I am your mirror, I am the voice inside your head

 you have the power to change the course of the night

Gossip till their lips are bleeding, politics and all

I’d rather be high

I’d rather be dead

I’m 17 and my looks can prove it

I’d rather smoke and phone my ex

Passionate bright young things takes him away in the war

Who’ll love Aladdin sane?

Motor sensational, Paris or may be hell( I’m waiting)

Things are getting des-desperate

No Psychoanalysis

[museinspo]

sentence starters/prompts

TATE MCRAE : I USED TO THINK I COULD FLY EDITION

if you wanna go ahead and lie to me , throw it all out now , that’s fine with me.

i hope you don’t come back when you see that i’m better off. 

when you finally figure out just what you lost , i hope you don’t come back.

i can feel you shutting off now like i always expected you would.

you’re about to cut me out of your life, i feel it .

just know there’s no second try.

i really thought that i knew you.

i bet you’ll blame it on the alcohol again.

don’t be acting so surprised when you see there’s no second try.

go ahead and get wasted, wreck your life , i won’t say shit. 

you’re mad that i made it.

i’ve been moving on.

you promised that the two of us were fate. isn’t it funny how you say that after pushing me away?

just cut me off like you said you want to.

all your bitches will find out all you do is lie.

i’m getting really sick of how sorry sounds coming right out of your mouth.

don’t get too comfortable ‘cause i might not be there next time you turn around.

what would you do if i leave and don’t come back?

you mess my head up.

you’re taking me for granted.

i’ll go out and kiss your friends.

i have this paralyzing fear that i’ll maybe go nowhere.

i can’t stand my friends right now, we’ve got nothing in common.

i don’t wanna say it but i really think that i miss him.

it might seem stupid but i still look through all of our texts.

i can say things i don’t always mean when people get too close to me.

you couldn’t hate me more than i hate myself.

you’ll be happier with someone else.

you came and fucked my life up when you knew that i was lost.

you made me hate myself just so that i would love you more.

i don’t give a fuck about you like i used to.

i should’ve known when my mum said she didn’t like you, should’ve taken that as a sign.

you wanted me for your eyes only.

if you say she’s nothing to worry about, then why’d you close your eyes when you said it out loud?

she’s got everything that i don’t have, how could i ever compete with that?

tell me you won’t treat her like you did with me and you.

i should’ve listened to your exes when they said ‘don’t’.

you take all your issues and blame them on everyone else.

i usually never cry at all, i would say i’m pretty tough.

really thought i’d be done with the hardest part when i pulled myself from your arms.

last night for the very first time, you didn’t even try to call.

i kissed somebody else just to see how it felt.

i know that look you get when you’re about to lie.