#and i'm experiencing rich people's behaviour

[yohankang]

good morning besties i feel like i'm in a movie

[justaholeinmysoul]

The main example of how the mass thinking nowadays is UScentric and unfiltered from context is the age discourse. The whole boomer thing.

[house-of-vandernacht]

I think under all Ada's insecurity, she's desperate to be Lenore's friend, and not because of being upwardly mobile. Out of all of them, Ada has sussed out that Lenore comes from money/has station, and isn't tryna blow smoke up her ass like she is Annabel. She genuinely seems to like Lenore.

I think she recognises that Lenore is different from most rich folks. She cares and is accepting of everyone regardless of station. Ada has watched Lenore stand up for the little guy, to show concern equally for rich or poor, to show concern for people in general which is probably not something Ada has experienced much with rich folks.

Ada isn't entirely stupid (just a lil dim), -- until romance comes into the picture, and that's understandable for someone who desperately wants to be loved -- she's shown herself to be smart and astute in a lot of ways, but in this case I don't think she behaves the way she does towards Lenore because she's edging her bets n her allegiances are fickle.

I think when we see Ada with Lenore is when Ada is at her most genuine. She feels comfortable enough to show glimpses of herself around Lenore, which she doesn't do with any of the others, which is a crying shame cause those glimpses we see of her, she seems like she'd be a great girl that's a lot of fun but its buried underneath fear, insecurity and the fingerprints of societal norms of her era.

(right after she punches Lenore in the tit. :D )

We don't know the circumstances of how she became a maid, but we can extrapolate a few things by looking at history available to us.

Maiding was seen as a respectable, nay, if not a sought after job in all eras. It leant you a smidge of social status, but the down side was, yes you might rub shoulders with the wealthy and famous but you were never part of that world. It was like being on the other side of the a filmy membrane. Often you were never noticed at all, and subject to an even stricter societal hierarchy than what was on offer outside the house, but often maids saw factory work as being beneath them or super working class poor. It was a weird skewing of the world. Ada is just as much a victim of circumstance as Lenore and Annabel, has been shaped by it, and its fueling her Nevermore behaviour.

If I'm correct in my theory that she was a scullery maid/ lower house maid specifically, (denoted by her lack of skills of how to prepare a lady for her day) she's on the lowest service rung with little to no prospects of advancement unless a head maid took an interest to teach her how to be a parlour maid. This in time might lead to a head maid track but there was hot competition from all the other maids in the house, esp if there was a large staff (you often had to wait until the head maid died for a promotion reshuffle, OR another house hold offered you employment, and even then you would need to seek permission from your employer to be released from their service.) So this is a girl who needs her position to keep her belly full, and a roof over her head, and is used to having someone (prolly lots of someones) have power over her n hold her life in their hands. She's in a very vulnerable position and perfectly primed to be taken advantage of. Then introduce a young heir dangling that good life and societal advancement in front of her. Its easy to see how she might have succumbed to those romantic advancements even though she's risking her reputation AND position. (and then it ends in the ultimate betrayal)

She wanted more for herself, she wanted to be a has, not a has not. She has been groomed by service n societal norms. And who wouldn't grasp the opportunity when it arose to claw their way from the bottom n grab that perceived good life? She was quick on the uptake in Nevermore, enacting a ruse from the get go. She didn't think she had the luxury to sit back and assess the situation, because it might be her only chance at something better than what she couldn't quite remember. She looked at the game of poker, saw everybody was at the same starting point, threw herself into the gamble and began trying to build her own hand. The shame is that underneath it all, I believe, Ada is a great girl who desperately wants good friends, but she's unable to trust or rely on others due to her own hangups that have been stamped by her pastlife. Think she and Bernice would get along great if she'd just shirked this up stairs/downstairs mentality, realise it doesn't matter, find her own self esteem, and just be herself. If she was just herself, I think she'd find that she'd be accepted which would help her self esteem so much. Welp. this got away from me. I just have a lot of empathy for the silly little twit. The Writer's do a great job of toeing the line with Ada, she'll do something questionable but then draw you back in. You might want to hate her but you just can't.

[felixferitas]

@carminekings: ❛  if you've got a problem with the way i handle things, just say so.  ❜ ( joe x felix / random impulsive au where joe is venetia's temporary summer fling and he's way more crass and hard to bond with than anyone expects ? ? ? joe being overtly handsy with venetia perhaps & felix taking issue with his obnoxious behaviour ? ? ? )

felix has experienced one too many summers like this, if you asked him. whether it be venetia usurping a friend he's invited over for a few weeks or in a case more like this where she'd collected any stray off the street that would clean up well with a bit of spit and polish, it was getting a bit too rich for felix's blood. especially when these uneducated strays felt up his sister right in front of him. there was being rough around the edges, and then being downright disrespectful. "sure, mate. because you're the type that seems like you'd be so receptive to constructive criticism," he drawls, rolling his eyes. he's not going to waste his breath if it's going to go in one ear and out the other, not if his body language could communicate a lot for him. "i just think vee's wasting her time with you. it'd hurt your feelings if i went into the 'why', although i'm not sure why i'm still concerned with social niceties when you're practically fingerbanging my sister six feet away from me. classy stuff, that." a sneer tugs at his lips. joe has barely been at saltburn for any length of time, and felix was already counting down the days of the calendar until he'd left and mourning all the plans that joe has been included in. felix was a people-pleaser, he could pretend and shovel shit with a smile on his face with the best of them, but nothing would lose favor with him quicker than if you disrespected venetia. venetia herself seemed to enjoy this type of disrespect well enough, but god, why did he have to be privy to it? his gaze flits from joe's face to behind the cabinet he's standing in front of, jaw clenching with petty disdain. "can you move? you make a better door than a window." it's not likely, but maybe he'll be in a better mood once he's had some caffeine in his system. if not that, the satisfaction of giving the other man a tongue-lashing would surely do the trick. dependent on how joe reacts. felix could have the patience of a saint at times, and the temperament of a ill-behaved child at others.

[upshoredownthemiles]

Jeremy Blaire Headcanons

- I see him in his late 30s (38-39 y.o)

- Height: Around 188-189cm ?

- Deceptively handsome. He's a catch, ngl.

- Based on the Outlast wiki, I read that one of his hobbies involve taunting poor boi Waylon Park, so I'm gonna say that he's a big bully to his employees (especially the juniors, those who are inferior to him). Waylon Park is one of them.

- He hates slackers, people who talk back to him, people who can't do their work properly. But of course, he'd a little nicer to those who are responsible and make consistent efforts to perform well in the workplace.

- He doesn't really care about the people around him. They're just pawns in his eyes.

- Manipulative. Highly intelligent and cunning (we all know that)

- The type of boss who would buy his employees cheap gifts as a sort of 'thank you for your hard work' but then he'd turn around and fire half of them anyway.

- Good at lying through his teeth and playing up his charm (and maybe that's why many women are attracted to him)

- Very experienced in the love department. Many partners. Flings, one night stands whatsoever. Not really into serious, long commitment relationships (because of his job, duh)

- Lightskin stare

- Very uptight. Most of the time, serious. Can be a little boring during dates. Cannot make jokes, not even dad jokes (A failure in the laughter department). Not very romantic too.

- Rich men behaviour: Goes to clubs, high end bars. Probably pays a ton to go to Crazy Horse in Paris for fun.

- Probably still uses Facebook.

- Fight me with this but his MBTI is an ESTJ.

- A neat and very organised person. Well-groomed too.

- Likes to work out at the gym (as frequently as he can)

- Of course, when he was younger and had just stepped into the corporate world, he was kinder, more empathetic and humble, willing to learn, willing to please his superiors, and was extremely hardworking and dedicated which led him to rise up the corporate ladder.

Eventually, as he gets involved with Murkoff and rises to a higher position, the good nature in him gradually disappears.

- I'd be very intimidated by him if he interviews me for a job or something. I'd probably would start stuttering and he would attack me with tough questions. So yes, I'd see him as a very intimidating interviewer.

- Love language is gift-giving, that's all.

[thedreadvampy]

like clockwork someone who's been openly a sex pest for decades gets named as a rapist and sexual predator and we all get to play the hit parade with such classics as:

oh my god oh my god did you know this industry full of rich people who are rewarded for exploitative and abusive behaviour...has an issue with rape and abuse??? CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???? (yeah man we know. we've known for quite a while actually. for longer than I've been alive for sure.)

oh my god I can't believe there are rapists among us (1 in 3 women have experienced rape, who do you think is doing it?)

but he seemed so nice! (not really tbh)

well I met him and he never raped me and like, I'm really hot so if he was really a rapist he would have (Jesus fuck get help)

is it really rape to fuck 16 year old girls when you're in your 30s? (yeah it is if you fucking rape them mate)

can't believe everyone knew but never said!!! (they literally did say and also hey imagine if you will what reasons there might be too not say anything, such as, say, it's not your story to tell and the victim had expressed a wish to not be at the centre of a whole shitstorm)

Real Victims wouldn't go to journalists they'd go to the cops!!! (hey guys I have some upsetting news about the experience of reporting rape to the cops)

This is a conspiracy to make this irrelevant celebrity look bad! (please touch grass)

it's all just a bit of fun innit (no)

and every time we all over again have to go to this place where rape is simultaneously a significant threat and common experience (agreed) but also everyone who's ever talked about being raped is lying, and nobody's ever done a rape even if there's 20 years of documented evidence and on camera confessions and also their whole public persona is 'cheeky sex pest' (fucking. what?)

and then that guy hopefully gets cancelled and people feel a bit more guilty about watching him. and then they'll go HOORAY THE EVIL IS DEFEATED WE HAVE GOT RID OF THAT GUY THAT DID THE RAPES. OUR WORK HERE IS DONE. COMEDY/FILM/MUSIC/TV IS FREE OF PREDATORS NOW

and then 6.5 seconds later allegations will come out about someone else and we will start the whole thing again from scratch OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???

[factorialsotherfandoms]

blip bloop bitching below. keeping this out of the tags as I need to scream but don't want it to travel.

I hate so much that I genuinely dread days when Philza and Tubbo interact. Because they're friends and should be able to just hang and stuff! And it can be fun to watch! But it seems every time they even go near each other the Philza tag becomes full of crap, then people kicking back, and its /worst/ now Sunny is here (I love her, mostly, but it makes it so much worse). The post about Sunny being scared of Philza with the screenshots was at the top of the Philza Tag (by how I access them at least) for 3 days. It always defaults to top before I flip it to most recent. It wasn't tagged as discourse or neg or anything - it was just screenshots after all - but the bitching which came out of that was so much, and every time I saw them it bought the bitching to mind, and half of that wasn't tagged either (on the original posts, in the tags, where I like looking for fic and meta and fanart and check my top 4 tags each morning).

And, yeah, a 30-off year old streamer probably not even on tumblr doesn't need defending online. BUT the shit and the way those posts talk and the things they shit on him for... a) its very much cc!Phil not q!Phil no matter what people say, because he talks in the same way even on the fucking pumpkin carving stream and more importantly b) mirrors very real bullying, discrimination and hate I and a lot of other English people have experienced. (yes of course its worse if you're an ethnic minority or have a Scottish accent or any number of other things, but just because other people have it worse doesn't mean it isn't a genuine axis of discrimination).

And sometimes I need to fucking defend not him but myself, because I feel like I'm going mad.

You might not see it, you might not even know about the north-south divide and English class politics, but its embedded into near every fantasy movie you've watched, accent wise at least!

Just personal shit... I have a southern parent and a northern parent. I grew up in the south-east. As a kid I could switch accents at will. Using my mother's northern accent (slightly more natural to me, as she was home more often) I would get marked down in class for being aggressive and argumentative and other kids would think I was angry with them. My father genuinely suggested I switch which I spoke with, and it was effort but doable, and guess what? My marks went up and I was seen as friendlier than the other children. It still wasn't the accent for the region - where I grew up has a very distinct one even for the south - and yet I was treated better for it.

Which. Could have seriously messed up my future if my grades kept being marked down and I kept getting into trouble for behaviour over stuff in another accent nobody bat an eyelid to.

[I had a section here too about different treatment while getting bra fittings, but given it involved members of staff literally hurting me as a literal child only when speaking one of the two accents, I removed it. Minor hurt, but hurt.]

And that was just personal experience! Of being read as aggressive or scary or like I didn't care for sounding northern.

And of fucking course this is only ever about fucking Tubbo, the southern who logs in regularly, this shit always starts. The southerner, whose accent is on the respectable side of this not-quite-a-class-divide.

And you know how deeply routed the north-south divide is? Sociologists generally date it back to /1066/ and the north being massacred for causing trouble for the new king. Economically and in terms of reputation, the north has never actually recovered from that. Even when it was major industry, even when major ports, its /always/ been behind the south.

Not just in terms of money going around, but things like life expectancy and education expectations. Rich northerners still have a harder time than their southern peers.

(Honestly, Sunny having 'verbalised' being scared of him for his tone of voice and not other adults who treat them older than they are [because yk its impossible to tell with an egg model] also kinda rubs me the wrong way, because of that sort of treatment of me as a kid. If I was aware of more fear towards other adults she doesn't know as well it'd be easier. Yeah he's a bit intense, and he should maybe be more delicate with a kid, but heaven knows he's not the only character that is. Maybe as more people drift back we'll see it more, I don't know, the admin probably isn't English either, but dear god. The daughter of a southerner telling her daddy that the northerner is scary is such a fucking classist trope. And a really offensive one at that. And shit which actually happens irl, which sometimes leads to the police getting involved.)

[castlebyersafterdark]

awww noah lmaoooo nooo the fan account thing! ok so some non-juice: one of my fam members is a creative and their product became viral famous for about 3 months a few summers ago cos a member of a huge K POP band bought one of their pieces and suddenly every fan of this band wanted a version of the item. they were snowed under and followers/engagement etc shot up. it was stressful and hilarious and great for business for a while lol. but i remember cracking up at seeing how this person i had always known became this semi-public figure and the way i was like I KNOW THE REAL UYOUUUUUU hhahahaha

i imagine that's what is happening here with noah, like it's oddly thrilling to view someone you know and love through the lens of strangers and fans who only know their fame. maybe noah is kind of laying down breadcrumbs for the future when they wont be able to film together anymore? or sort of celebrating finn's (and his!) fame by trying to view them through the lens of being a fan. this is such a reach but the psychology oddly works out for people with weird brains like me (im gonna reach and say noah is an Odd Brain too lol <3).

i remember timothee chalamet, when he got famous, saying he would stare at pictures of him and his mum for ages. just like trying to get your head around who you are and your relationships with people you love. its sort of like us staring at pics of finn and noah but its them doing it to themselves lmao. does that make sense? i bet loads of people have stared at selfies of themselves theyve taken where they think they look cute. i bet people have stared for hoursss lmao just revelling in how hot they looked that time

so yeah i see this as mildly freak behaviour (we all know noah is an actual stan lmao) but also a way of clutching the present before life changes forever

WILD that happened to a relative!!! The sudden fame must be such a mind fuck. I cannot imagine. Suddenly being perceived.

But that does drive a good point, the fact that despite being rich and famous, a lot of celebs do strive for a normal life. Maybe not the most tippy top of A listers, but Noah and most of the younger cast do seem able to at least somewhat navigate a famous life and a private life. He is so engaged with his online fandom and persona. That seems very apparent. Viewing the people you personally know and interact with through the lens of that fame must be very interesting to switch into. Like how they hang out and work together but can still be fans of each other's work and projects, the duality of knowing someone intricately and intimately but also the somewhat aloof distance of "but I'm also a fan of them." Like when you see major celebrities freaking out at awards show red carpets about seeing other celebs and I'll think - girl, that's your peer? You're also in movies? But they still feel that way. An oscar winner fangirling over another actress. Even if they might get lunch the next day. It's that duality line again.

So I can understand this fan account thing, two-fold interesting if there is a relationship afoot. That extra layer. For suuuuure, mild freak behavior, but he's lowkey a little weirdo. And we love that for him.

And only semi related but still kinda on topic. The whole perception of knowing someone and the image put online. Like, I don't even have a FB and I don't post on insta, but my fiance does (ohhh!!! that's the first time I've typed that word on this blog 🥲 oh wow...) and I have a private account to follow and occasionally look at stuff on there. And to see what he posts about me. I'm living my life. Living with the man. Experiencing the random things he photographs. But it's fascinating looking at what he decides to post and share. Because sometimes I think... why do that? I look and it makes me happy but I wonder, why these moments? Others like seeing them clearly by those who hit the little heart button. Why maintain an online presence? Before this digital world, people used to keep photo albums for themselves and family only, but now our photo albums are all shared with the world. Is that all it really is - the adjustment to a change in media tech? Who is it for?

But we can ask that of any person with social media. I guess for most people I'd think it's sharing a memory or showcasing happiness or some other emotion. It's just what most do now. The veneer of social media. You wonder the thought process behind what gets posted by these famous people we follow, what they think of knowing that the posts they add to their digital photo albums have millions of eyes looking. How a guy with a crush on a friend maybe just wanted to feel silly and watch some videos people online edited with his crush's image - or his partner, if a relationship is there. What is he looking for when he watches the edits? Pride, envy, humor?

Way too complex to even get into, I'm really rambling now.

[djxiao]

as much as I hate ssng, most of them have mental issue, family problems etc. I just wish they seek professional help instead of obsessing over people who doesn't know you. although the kpop industry itself have flaws with all the fanservice, I still have sympathy for ssng.. not sure if I'm being ridiculous here 😔 but I want everyone have a good life. for idols they absolutely deserve privacy, family time etc. the privacy invasion, ssng obsession behaviour is what I do not condone

reducing sasaeng behavior to mental health issues and family problems disrespects those who actually struggle with those issues quite honestly. people with mental health problems can still tell right from wrong and just like anyone else, it is still their responsibility not to be a stalker. we should not excuse their behavior on account of mental health problems because this implies people with mental health problems are dangerous and do not understand their own actions, which is harmful and false. and saying most have family problems is simply misinformed. most of them come from rich very families who fund their lifestyle and because of this they have never been taught to respect others and have never experienced real consequences in their life. they illegally obtain flight information and then purchase seats directly next to their idols on flights to follow them across the world. they steal private information to figure out their idol's home addresses and personal phone numbers to relentlessly call them and wait outside their home. they follow them to all of their schedules and take photos without permission. as we saw in haechan's situation, one literally broke into his family's house. and then they sell all this private information to other ssngs to make the problem exponentially worse. they have absolutely no decency or respect for their idols. so you are free to have your own opinions but i dont have any sympathy for sasaengs.

[tetrisfinished]

pity party: attending - 1

declined - none

this can't be right. right? how come i'm always caught in my own pity parties. how come so many men are exactly the same trash replicated over and over again.

sometimes i GENUINELY wonder if the traditional men and women roles are the right way to go. maybe if i wasn't working - i wouldn't be as pissed off about all the shit i do at home.

queue: the waterworks (which, by the way i've been semi successful at holding back all day today, so just fuck off and let me have it, okay? okay).

at this point, i'm in my 8th year of marriage to this man. we've experienced long distance relationship, honeymoon stage, living together, owning together, vacation-ing together, and now parenting together. and i guess even a sort of separation together [read: he left for 2 months to go to pakistan sans wife and 3 yr old kid].

all of these "togethers" could have been rich life experiences. they could have been meaningful and loving and respectful.

but they weren't. i think the thing they were LEAST of all might actually have been together. how can that be? how do i turn my clock back to 0 hour at the time i started this marriage and start over.

or better yet, end it right away.

i don't know what mistake i'm continuing to pay for. but i guess that's not true. it's just a new mistake every single day when i engage him in conversation or when i task him with a chore or when i expect him to show up as a parent. if your partner is meant to "complete" you - then i feel that i am in a marriage where my partner actually manages to take away from me.

our household is toxic. our relationship is toxic. and the person who suffers the absolute fucking most is my kid.

my poor, little, innocent child who is 4 years old - he is so kind and fuck he's PATIENT. i'm 33 still trying to master this but my 4 year old kid has me beat. and maybe because of my own asshole behaviour he's had to become patient this early on in his young life.

i think back so much about all the times when i was asked "hey how could a western minded youth and an eastern minded youth get along and marry each other?" and i thought i had the best answer of all - he's not actually all that "conservative". but now i'm realizing that maybe while not conservative in the traditional and restrictive way - he actually is quite traditional. but also a smidge of modern.

he wants a working wife. but he also wants to not give up any of his own life to raise a fucking family.

and here i'm expected to make decision after decision. sacrifice after sacrifice, even consider the thought of expanding my family (khair ultimately that's in Allah swt's hands of course) all with the thought of how comletely unsupported i'll feel.

more and more i look around and people find themselves not having a lot of friends at my age. don't get me wrong. everyone has friends - but it's a tight group of maybe 2-4 CORE people. and no more. everyone else sort of filters out in the "acquaintance" column. so when i look at my significantly larger group of actual TIGHT friends - multiple groups including my actual family (mama/javaria) - i am so incredibly grateful. but maybe it was because Allah swt was preparing me for an actual life without a present partner. without a partner willing to show interest in our lives. in our families. in our home. in our child.

and again - don't get me wrong. i'm sure he loves us - or at least esa.

but feeling that love and then not showing up in any way with care or consideration or responsibility is so.....so cheap. you know?

and fuck me, i'm still trying to explain this to him. why? i don't know honestly.

in the middle it got better. but of course things have slowly regressed right back to the norm and here i am again. bitching and moaning and fucking frankly irritated that i can't just TAKE THE STEP to leave.

so. that's that.

that's the end of this rant.

the one thing i'll say that's a positive of it all is - every time i'm so triggered and emotional and upset about this stuff - i write. i guess when i'm happy i'm not as.....inspired? morbid, amiriteeee?

so someday, when i discover the audience that absolutely adores the anti self-help read - the bitching and moaning and complaining reads. that day i can compile all my blog posts and become famous.

but until then, here i am. another night of another day of another week of another month of another year - all different then before, but all alarmingly the same.

-k

[abishekmuses]

Sorting It Out Inside

Ok so you want to write online and use it to become rich - of all the people online (millions probably), why do you think you need to do this? what I'm asking is - why does the world need one more guy writing stuff on the internet? I think I have a unique viewpoint - my experiences, background put me in a unique perspective. Hmm what do I mean by that? I guess the sheer contrasts that my life embodies - I've always been identified as smart - and yet I've made life choices that are run-of-the-mill, classic idiot-choices. I was born in a lower middle class household in South India and through a series of scarcely believable life events, I made friends all over the world, speak with a clipped accent and now, work for a Norwegian company. I make more money than most people in my country dream of making and yet for most of the last 3-4 years, my experience has largely been that of low grade anxiety, fear about my future, hedonism, fatigue, drug-use, escapism, bouts of mania followed by shame and self-doubt - well you get it. I'm being a little too harsh on myself - there were moments of bliss, joy, satisfaction, adventure, learning etc as well but that only serves to emphasise the point I'm trying to make about the contrasts.

I am particularly prone, as an individual, to delusion, distraction, solipsism, dissociation and fantasy. I have a mind that is extremely suggestible, albeit quick and flexible - I suffer from a lack of context and perspective. Recently, thanks in no small part due to my commitment to yoga and my decision to stop trying to have my way with life (in this kind of forceful, anxiety provoking manner), I have found some space within myself - a space that helps me notice my behaviour patterns, emotional triggers, violent biochemical responses etc without being taken in by them .

This has allowed to me to institute a modicum of sanity in my life - it is precisely that modicum of sanity that is even allowing me to perform this very exercise of self-indulgent pontification - I would have probably been staring at a youtube video otherwise.

Back to the contrasts,

I used to be a devout Hindu growing up. Gave it up because it wasn't fashionable enough - became a reductionist, hardcore atheist. Tripped on a bunch of drugs that blew my whole model of reality to smithereens and was left having to pick up the stray pieces of my psyche for years - discovering "spirituality" and yoga in the process. For the lack of simple terms to describe it, let's say my models of reality are a LOT more fluid now than they used to be. I pray but I don't know to whom. I bow down in reverence and awe on practically a daily basis. I shed tears of gratitude very often and do yoga sadhana practically every day. Again, just saying this to highlight the abundance of perspectives I've inhabited and the contrasts that I've been able to experience and live out. I am often called "confident" and "courageous" - not entirely untrue assessments either - I can talk to strangers with absolute ease and have no problems but I also know it to be true that I'm a very fearful, self-doubting, anxious, people pleasing, attention seeking person. Another contrast that I'm making more sense of as I go along. I have experienced profoundly rapturous states that, by themselves, justify the enterprise of living on earth. I have experienced desolation that felt permanent and immutable. I am familiar with the ways of Ancient India (not as dry philosophy; as a living tradition with continuity and soul) and have partied with the best of them in Europe. I've had foursomes and I've slept with beautiful women. I've made desperate and ungainly attempts at sexual gratification resulting in embarrassing rejections and soul crushing vortices of self-hate and shame. I've imposed myself on girls sexually and doubted my attractiveness a million times.

I've inspired people, repulsed people, supported people, destroyed people's emotional equanimity, taught people, learned from people, betrayed people, cried for people, cried over people, cried with people, laughed and danced and sang on the streets, done drugs with strangers and sang hymns from the Vedas.

I think I can write on the internet and make myself a good living while offering something of value to those struggling with the same ills that I did (and probably still do).

The world is evolving rapidly and we are being confronted with some pretty new problems - kids apparently are losing their shit mentally - and it's because of too much phone-time and not enough social interaction, apparently.

I want to use my experience to be a voice of comfort, guidance and awakening, if I can. If i'm being presumptuous in this assessment, reality will duly give me a check in the near future.

Ok I think I'll go to sleep now.

[girlcalledwhatsername]

Okay so I'm seeing a lot of people lately (and some older theorists of course) talk about how cis men as such are Not an oppressor class, and that misogyny is the fault of patriarchy not of cis men and therefore they should not be considered the oppressor class in terms of gendered oppression. I respectfully disagree with this on a political level.

Let me preface by saying I am a brown disabled genderfluid person from a "third world country", so this is informed by the many intersections I have experienced and the political understanding I have built thereof.

1) The oppressive system of "patriarchy" is responsible for gender oppression and not an oppressor class - this can be said of any kind of oppression if one wants. I have heard people talk about how it's racism that is the problem and not white people, and that is true, but that doesn't change the fact that white people are the ones (in Western countries particularly) who have created laws and enacted behaviours and benefitted from and upheld social structures that oppress people of colour. It is white people who colonised my country and spread racist rhetorics which they still continue with and benefit from, and therefore even though all white people aren't gonna be racist, they very much are the oppressor class because they hold that power over coloured people. And much like with the patriarchy, our freedom struggle has stories of white people who supported poc and were punished for it by their own kind, the way men who don't adhere to ideas of patriarchy are punished by the setup. Likewise the way that women often also uphold patriarchy: there is plenty talk in freedom struggles and outside that too of brown people (and I'm sure other poc but i can only speak for brown people) who upheld racist setups because they got some small benefit from it. Or like rich queer people siding with Republicans (this one's for the Americans mwuah). That does not change the fact that men have historically made laws keeping women oppressed and continue to uphold systems that oppress us.

2) Coming to the other intersection real quick, people argue that men aren't the oppressor class because women often hold positions of privilege over men: this is also true of other intersections. The rich gay man holds position of power and privilege over all his working class employees, including the straight ones. The white queer person possibly holds power over the brown cishet guy. A rich brown man also holds power over his working class white employees btw, still doesn't mean white people are suddenly not an oppressor class. It seems to me that these situations are a lot easier to understand when race plays in so I bring it up because not once ever have I had a progressive person tell me it's Not All White People when I make a general statement about the power white people hold and exploit.

3) The matter of the Cis woman. I will bring up again here the fact this is my political opinion and my political framework for understanding intersectionality, and I understand that a lot of people think there is gonna be One True Politics to stick to but I don't believe i have to agree with all leftist political ideas in order to have the "right opinion". So here is mine: cis people have long oppressed and continue to oppress trans people in the exact same way that cis men oppress women. Cis and perisex people in general are also an oppressor class holding privilege over trans and intersex people, cis and perisex people have made laws and upheld systems that oppress trans and intersex people. The fact that cis people hold power over trans people does not erase the fact that cis men still hold power over cis women and other oppressed gender and sex classes. Both can be true at the same time. Men being oppressors doesn't suddenly mean that a trans man is the oppressor class for women too because 1) cis women hold power not by virtue of being women but by virtue of being cis and 2) trans men are not oppressing other queer people, lateral aggression aside we aren't oppressor classes for each other we are in the same fucking boat.

4) It absolutely is not bioessentialism to say this the same way it isn't bioessentialism to say that white people have been oppressive. White genes didn't make em do it, it was a choice, the issue is that they continue to make that choice because it's easier for them. Same with cis men. Masculinity doesn't make them do this. Masculinity isn't inherently anything and I appreciate both masculinity and feminity as a genderfluid person myself. It's about the inherent power that men hold over women in any society but also particularly the one I've grown up in which a lot of Westerners will easily ignore.

TL;DR: When I say "men are an oppressor class" I do Not mean that cis men will never ever be in a position where they are oppressed because that's the point of intersectionality. I do not mean that trans men are also an oppressor class - because they are also oppressed by cis people (including cis men) and in terms of gendered oppression cis men are still upholding systems of oppression that directly benefit them and oppress women.

Note: if you have are gonna argue with me the least you can do is read the whole thing first though, I can't fit nuance in the tldr

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

[purgatoryandme]

Hey, I mean this as innocently as possible but aren't characters supposed to be complex? I mean if characters are a barely and not well hidden walking talking propaganda of a certain theme or idea, isn't that bad writing? It's possible I'm not completely understanding what you mean when you say you don't like people who say 'they're complex characters', so is there any way you can explain further? Also if you don't wanna respond and if this is rude in any way, please ignore this.

NO! This is like...the biggest quibble I have with internet meta creation and fandom at large!!!! Not every character needs to be complex, some works are better off without complex characters, and, most importantly:  Complexity isn’t the hallmark of a talented writer!!! AHHHH!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So first, what is a complex character? According to tumblr, it seems to be somebody who is either a) a character with conflicting motivations, b) a character with a very detailed backstory, c) a character that evokes sympathy through their realistic experiencing of certain events/situations, or d) a character they are going to say has all these things but is really just blank enough to be relatable in a way that lets people fill in those details themselves with their own experiences. You’ll notice that these are not the same things, though some can go hand in hand. This is the first issue with the conceptualization of complex characters. Fact of the matter is, nobody really agrees on what a “complex character” is in the same way nobody knows what a “strong female character” is. It’s a bad and annoying descriptor that I hate. Generally, though, most lit people would agree that a complex character is one that doesn’t fit into any particular archetype due to conflicting motivations.  With this background, I can get more into why the “THEY ARE A COMPLEX CHARACTER” meta argument is an annoying and often reductive take that hurts literary analysis in fandom.  Archetypes exist for a reason. They are a storytelling tool - perfect for introducing motion into a plot or setting up something people will recognize. Complexity is only possible because archetypes exist. Breaking from an archetype is only interesting in that it is differing from a pre-established norm - there is nothing inherently better about characters that don’t fit archetypes, or characters that invert them, lampshade them, etc. There’s also nothing interesting about doing it in a story where every single character is doing the same thing, unless, of course, that is the point and is played on in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way (like Good Omens) or is played straight and used for broad thematic effect. There needs to be intent. Themes exist for a reason. Walking talking propaganda of certain themes and ideas GIVE A STORY A CLEAR ATMOSPHERE. You don’t need to be hackneyed about it and it certainly isn’t bad writing. Clarity is the single most underrated aspect of writing today, imo, and it’s really frustrating that people act like you need to only hint at themes that have a high chance of going over readers heads. There’s nothing particularly fun about inaccessibility or subtext so deep in the “sub” text that there isn’t any strong evidence of it at all, though it has its purposes and places (re: in narratives aimed at small groups of people who WILL understand what the author is hinting at, or in mysteries/horror/thrillers where some level of confusion is the goal, etc). Cartoons use very blatant tropes to make ideas BIG and LOUD and OBVIOUS in ways that are very good at creating humour and yielding reactions with relatively little screentime - it’s not bad writing, it’s knowing your audience.  A good example of walking talking propaganda characters is the cast of the Bioshock series. Down to their names, characters represented very clear ideas and were full of in-your-face religious imagery that was well-selected, well-executed, and consistent in a way that wasn’t up its own ass. There’s no doubt about anyone’s place in the story and guess what? It added to the richness of the world and the player’s experience of it in a way that overly detailed characters would not have. It also made the few outliers stand out even more as people for the audience to relate to.  Speaking of which... Complex characters are generally more interesting when supported by archetypal characters. It gives them the contrast they need to stand out and situates them as unique in the story’s overall atmosphere. It helps ID them as important to the plot and the ways in which they are. Also, archetypal characters can be rendered more interesting than complex ones by either having them be one of the few archetypal ones, by giving them more depth or making them relatable, or by simply having them embody an archetype people love (like the hero, for instance). And another thing; frankly, in a world where a LOT of fandoms and writers make a big deal of breaking cliches, cliches become interesting again. C’est la vie.  Stories aren’t just random and narratives aren’t often populated by real people. We LIKE narratives that we can understand that deliver messaging that can actually be parsed. Complex characters should never evade the messaging of a work entirely. They are meant to uphold it, to act as parallels and foils and in concert with dozens of other literary tools. Complexity doesn’t mean living outside of the atmosphere the work is trying to create. Complexity doesn’t mean intentionally running counter to the moral of the story for the sake of it. Writing has purpose. You are TELLING A STORY. It’s viewed through a lens - through perspective - that colours it AND every character within so they cannot respond like real people. It’s SO FRUSTRATING to see characters that damage the integrity of a story constantly described as “complex” just because they stick out like a sore thumb or as a way to excuse their poor placement. It’s even more annoying to have people constantly reach for ways to explain behaviour that IS NOT EXPLAINED IN TEXT / make it fit the narrative through “complexity” - AKA explanations of how a REAL PERSON could respond to some stimuli in a fictional story.  Complexity has to be supported in text to be a good argument (if you are fighting against people complaining a character is simple or that they have a singular motivation so their behaviour is inconsistent - it doesn’t excuse personal quibbles people have with a character being a dick and it’s super annoying to see it brought up in that context) or “good writing”. It can’t just be something you relate to or think could be possible. That’s not what it is. Characters are not real people who respond in completely random ways to input - characters are creations of a person within a story (unless the purpose of the story is to represent the real lives of people, in which case the moral framework is a whole other thing that I cannot get into because this is super long already).  All in all, I hate the whole “THEY ARE A COMPLEX CHARACTER” thing because I don’t think complexity is that deep bro, I think people use it to explain away their projection and shut down evidence/analysis based think pieces in an “it’s too deep for you bro” kind of way, it’s a symptom of people thinking that “smart” reading is conflicting and confusing bullshit and “stupid” reading is accessible clear-cut narratives, and I wish people would stop with the REAL PEOPLE DO X thing. Realism isn’t everything, and realism isn’t just you projecting onto a story and making pieces fit.

[casually-inlove]

I'm so proud of the progress they made. But I'm a little curious as to way mo was the only one tian was treating that way in the beginning with violence and all that, twords jian and zhang he was completely normal and friendly. he even tried to save Jian from his brother like mo from she li which shows that he always wanted to save someone and be good, but why treat mo this way and the other's normally?

Dear nonnie, apologies for the late response ~ 

And I don’t think there’s a single answer to your question. 

On one hand, there’s no denying that Mo is partly accountable for the hostile/wary attitude people have towards him. Unlike effervescent Jian Yi or mild-mannered ZZX, he often acts and talks to others in a brusque manner (girls e.g.), is quick to fly off the handle, and, to top it all, he hangs out with school troublemakers. 

In other words, he’s got a bad temper and an ill-reputed circle, and he acts like it as well. Threatening Jian Yi over something as petty as bumping into him, upon the first meeting no less, doesn’t inspire a positive treatment, does it? I’m sure that He Tian was unimpressed either and took Mo at a face value: a not-so-bright belligerent bully with more bark than bite.

During the fight with ZZX GuanShan does something that takes everyone by surprise – he wants to win so badly that he opts for using a rock, disregarding any consequences that might follow. This act of desperation hits He Tian like a pile of bricks; his expression rapidly grows from nonchalant to appalled. 

Later we find out he feels strongly about people deliberately hurting others, and about carelessness that might result in injuries, and death in particular – a bit hypocritical on his part, since He Tian himself could have maimed a few people during the mob fight, if it weren’t for Mo’s intervention.

In any case, after the other two boys take revenge on GuanShan, He Tian comments that the latter deserved that. 

I believe that some of He Tian’s violent approach to our redhead could have stemmed from this: He Tian blatantly took it upon himself to drive Mo in the right direction while it wasn’t too late. The other boy wasn’t far gone yet in following the wrong path that could have only resulted in further embitterment and estrangement. As someone who supposedly grew up in a family with shady ties, He Tian believes himself to know the price of violence and making wrong choices, of becoming a “monster”. So, he takes the reigns believing he knows better – if preventing someone from spiralling down the dark path means asserting his dominance and barking orders, so be it. A gentler approach might not have worked here, given how mistrustful and resistant to any meddling GuanShan is. To us readers, it’s perfectly understandable. We know that Mo had to face a lot of adverse experiences: kids scorned, bullied and ostracized him, the types of She Li used him and practised some fucked-up violence; he has no reason to listen to anyone, let alone yet another seemingly snobbish rich brat. That hard shell of his serves to prevent anyone from getting close enough to hurt him, yet its existence also means that it would take one a tremendous effort to pull the goodness in Mo out on the surface. He Tian is persistent enough to see through it. He’s also determined enough to make GuanShan receptive of the help that he’s being offered -- he even comments how pretentious it is of Mo to turn down a helping hand simply because of his pride. At the same time, we cannot completely excuse He Tian’s actions. While there isn’t much to know about He Tian’s childhood for now, I don’t discard the possibility that he might have experienced forceful treatment himself (in a sense that he was compelled to do something “for his own good” against his will) and thus it's not inconceivable to think that he simply doesn’t know any better and unknowingly repeats what had been done to him – disabusing someone from making mistakes through exerting control over them. Granted, this is mere guesswork, but considering how his father pretty much held him locked in at his house against He Tian’s will, I don’t think it’s too farfetched to imagine that similar precedents took place in the past. 

Soon after He Tian begins offering Mo easy money for easy tasks – a little help without any strings attached. It’s a point where He Tian’s selfish needs dovetail with his more altruistic aspirations. For one, He Tian is genuinely entertained by GuanShan’s raw honesty and disdain towards “rich and powerful” (as we later find out, he came to admire that). More than that though, He Tian is bored and lonely, and Mo’s tenacious contempt coupled with his biting comments seem to have filled the emptiness in his day-to-day life. On the other hand, he had an opportunity to make someone’s life better, to help GuanShan become someone decent instead of staying that spiteful bully who’s ready to fight anyone who does as much as cast him a glance, or a dropout and prey for shady vultures to exploit. 

If She Li succeeded in framing Mo for sexual assault, the latter would have been driven into a corner and might have ended up tangling up with bad people for the lack of other options. That’s why He Tian discreetly gets him various jobs. That is also why he is that much content when he comments that GuanShan looks like someone when he’s working. 

The more He Tian learned about Mo, the more not-for-everyone-to-see qualities he discovered (such as Mo being hardworking, very protective of his mother, independent to a fault, possessing integrity, etc), and with that, his tendencies to use commanding tone and an overbearing approach significantly dwindled. They are not yet gone completely – but what we observe now has to do more with He Tian’s own demons, rather than with Mo’s behaviour.

That’s how I see it, but, as always, there are many ways to read the same thing.

[va-faen-culo]

RANT PT 1:Tbh nothing will ever top the OG for me but I love each remakes' take on diff teen culture. BUT. Noorh*lm remakes will top anything the OG has ever done. No idea why Noorhe*lm stans relate to our dislike to our love for Evak. Uh... Idk maybe because out of all the main relationships in show, Evak was the second most relatable and healthy (after Yousana)? And I'm saying that as straight person, not a fucking fangirl. Lemme tell you why...

(I’m gonna y’all know now this is going to be long, but anon is spilling some hot ass tea and every part is worth reading)

RANT PT 2: Evak is liked because the nature of their situation was believable and something any relationship could go through. Mental illness and its stigmas? I’ve dealt w/ that, even had my own prejudices like Isak due to my own experiences of witnessing it. Eva’s insecurity and mistrust? I never cheated but I know exactly shitty breaking a friendship makes you feel. Sana’s identity crisis through religion and her defensive mechanism? Spot on..

“ I’m saying that as straight person, not a fucking fangirl“ I really love that you brought this up, because there is definitely a problem in this fandom with invalidating the opinions of anyone who is not queer. The story of Even and Isak was able to touch many people and so many ways and the way it was portrayed was incredibly realistic, along with the storylines of seasons 1 and 4. Disliking Noorhelm is not a problem of “uwu where are my gays” it is a problem of “so we’re just not going to address how toxic this is”

RANT PT 3: Most teenagers will go through some sort of self-questioning and priority check. I was raised with two cultures growing up; my ethnic and the dominant one. Growing up around a culture since childhood but not really fitting in, be it by race or religion or sexuality. Now, to Noorh*lm. What exactly did I learn? That asking someone out until they agree is… cute? That changing the cold and cool person isn’t actually emotionally taxing or damaging and that you should go for it? Fuck that 

!!! I have also experienced conflicts with my race/culture and the society i live in, and that feeling of not fitting in really struck close to home with season 4. (and parts of season 3 and 1) Noora’s story reinforced shitty tropes, such as “persistence always perseveres” and “changing people is easy with the power of love” and i think “fuck that” is a pretty solid reaction to seeing Julie glorify these toxic tropes

RANT PT 4: Is getting with the rich popular guy actually universal? Y'know that relatable moment when you’re at his party but end up sleeping at his place and strumming the guitar while he makes cocoa for you? No? Thought everyone went through that?? I learned nothing from that season and their relationship in the rest that came after it. No, I won’t even tolerate what happened to Noora and Niko. I’ll appreciate Josefina’s amazing portrayal of what trauma looks like but the conclusion made me cry

Are you telling me you haven’t experienced all these things??  (Also I will admit I bawled like a baby watching Josefinas portrayal of that situation but it wasn’t enough to save the season) 

RANT PT 5: I admire Julie Andem but I honestly thought that parts of it came from a personal place had made her cloudy in the ending. I cannot and will never believe that Noora fully recovered after that mishap or able to fully accept any intimate advances without showing any signs of trauma. It doesn’t matter if it was true or not, she still woke up exposed next to him and he saw and captured it and threatened her. And she was fine the moment Mari, who was also drunk, SAYS nothing happened??

I do not know much about trauma so I am glad someone else was thrown off by her lack of hesitance in entering an intimate relationship so quickly after such an intense event

RANT PT 6: Finally, the ending. No better way to conclude the static and unlikeable nature of this couple than to end it with William jokingly driving away from Noora, leaving her to be devastated once again, only to say it was jokes. Holy shit?? This couple sounds batshit toxic.They don’t communicate for half a year, William gets another girl and Noora is still hopeful. Then its resolved by… leaving her friends worried and ditching responsibilities?

THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING WHACK FFJSFDJSJNSJ. I was so glad when he left and then he had the audacity to come back, and then Noora comes back after a year of him neglecting her and it was like ‘hallelujah she’s come to her senses!’ and then HOMEBOY COMES BACK and she goes running back into his arms like it nothing. I want to bang my head into a wall just thinking off it.

RANT PT 7: I guess someone that’s been in a toxic relationship could relate? But what was the point of this couple? Joneva was important because slut-shaming and unhealthy women dynamics was/is still a thing to talk about. Evak was important because bury your gay trope and stereotyping gay people was/is still a thing. Yousana was/is important for teens dealing with religious discrimination and how it affects your relationships and your behaviour. These were all commentaries but still hit home.

I think my biggest problem was that Julie never addressed that their relationship was toxic. Season 2 could have delivered such an important message about how unhealthy that type of relationship is, but instead she makes it seem like they are some sort of match made in heaven. So much potential man…

RANT PT 8: Noorh*lm was not a commentary, because it was definitely a toxic relationship that had a happy ending anyways. I honestly love Skam but season 2 is hellish for me to go through, knowing what they’re like throughout all the season. I don’t mind the characters, but I want the remakes to surpass the OG with this one. Show us a realistic and likable straight couple to prove you don’t have to be toxic no matter how good-looking the couple may look. I’m sorry for bombarding you. Thank you.

Preach!! I’m really crossing my fingers for the remakes to learn from Julie’s mistakes!

Honestly anon you have really made my entire week. I completely agree with all the points you have made and I am so glad you felt comfortable unloading in my inbox! You’re officially the queen of season 2 call-outs, and I’d love to talk to you off anon and also to hear your thoughts in the future as more versions of season 2 come out! Have a wonderful day, and I hope getting this off your chest was as rewarding for you as it was for me