#and idk how much of that is just chance like we just happen to click . and how much of it is bc i feel like i can relate to him more than

[francisforever2014]

i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me

[bonefall]

For the cat who takes out Juniperclaw, maybe if any of Leafstar's kits are still alive besides Harrybrook (or just him idk how you characterize any of the three), perhaps one of them would go with it? Leafstar might not have liked "an eye for an eye" and she'd probably teach them it's wrong to seek revenge, but I do think one of them can be talked into it, in the name of SkyClan and Leafstar. Make it more personal when Juniperclaw is told who they are in relation to the cat he killed, making it click in his head what is about to happen.

Oooo, great idea, I GOTTA do that... hmmm. Much as I wish I could cash in another chip for Firefern, since I adore her name, it's gotta be Harrybrook.

In-canon, his character is consistently harsh and distrusting and he's got it even worse in BB. It could be like his mother is the only thing actually holding him back. If anyone is going to end up being Waspstar's "Cleaner," it absolutely has to be him.

Harrybrook: We had a good thing, you stupid son of a foxheart! We had Leafstar, we had a camp, we had everything we needed and it all ran like woodwork! You could have shut your mouth, hunted, and caught as much prey as you ever needed. It was perfect! But no! You just had to blow it up! You, and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man! If you’d known your place, we’d all be fine right now!

A little recap of BB!Harrybrook, since it's been a while since I've mentioned him or any of his fragments;

Harrybrook is the son of Leafstar, Echosong, and Billystorm.

SkyClan does not have the Cleric's Vow.

This is because SkyClan was exiled at the beginning of the Ripple Era; before Larkstripe's Strike which resulted in the unofficial vow being codified.

it is actually a positive in their culture if their Cleric previously raised kittens. Echosong probably did have other litters in her long life.

Echosong is also alive to the current arc; Frecklewing joined with The Kin. Fidgetflake is still around, but he's probably still the "junior" Cleric of sorts.

Important point being that Harrybrook has personal stake in SkyClan's unique customs. His only surviving parent is a Cleric.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is what makes him such an effective killer. He has a knowledge of poisons and anatomy.

All cats know where the carotid artery is, they find it all the time when they put the killing bite in the wrong spot. Habr knows where else a single blow can bleed you out.

As a little kitten, he was named after Harry, who helped to save his mother.

What no one knew at the time was that Harry was being courted by an ancient monster. Sol, the God of Autumn, Change, and Tricks, wanted to play a game.

The rules were simple; Sacrifice three kits.

Sol wanted to see how far Harry, once baring the name Cinders, would go in pursuit of the power it could offer him. Sol HATES a boring vessel.

Harry JUMPED at the chance, offering two of his own kits as the last one got away. He just needed one more.

SkyClan almost tempted him into tucking his ambition away. Here, he was safe and accepted for the first time... but his desire for power won out in the end.

Sol offers immortality, the ability to mould reality like clay, the whole world could be Harry's toy.

(WIP SECTION)

In some way, Sol was able to manipulate Billystorm. I'm still working out how severe this manipulation was.

He likely got to Leafstar too. Possibly intentionally driving a wedge between them-- convincing Billystorm that SkyClan was unsafe and he'd raised the kits more than either his mate or his mate's girlfriend. He had a right to keep them safe, even if that meant taking them from everything they'd ever known.

And to Leafstar, he told her Billystorm was plotting against her. That she needed to be as firm with him as she is with the cantankerous Sharpclaw. If she's not, he might take those kittens back to his humans, and who knows what they'd do?

In any case, a fight between them causes Billystorm to leave. I'm not sure if I'm keeping Leafstar exiling him.

(Note: I don't really like how either character acts in the canon story. Or the framing. Or... anything about it really. It's bad Todd.)

In the past, I'd made it so Billy ended up trying to take the kids to his human, and then the human was the one who decided to get rid of the kits. INSTEAD it works a LOT better if Billystorm went back to his humans, and Harry then used this as a lure to get the kittens out of camp.

"Let's go visit your Ba, kittens. I know where he is. Just follow me."

While living in the town, Billystorm meets up with the child of Harry who got away, and learns that they've all been set up.

Billystorm deserves to go run save his kids and punch a God in the face I think.

DAYLIGHT WARRIOR MORE LIKE LIGHTS OUT WARRIOR! KAPOW!!

(Much as I will miss the gutpunch brutality of Billystorm realizing that his human can't be trusted. I'll just use the idea someplace else.)

(WIP SECTION END)

Stormkit was unable to be saved. There was only Firefern and Harrybrook.

Harry has been terrified of water since then. It represents everything awful that's ever happened to him.

He doesn't even like when it rains. Storms always seem to bring terrible things.

Firefern ended up dying on the journey to the Lake. I'm leaning towards changing it to infection, during the time that Echosong is missing (taking Frecklewing's arc).

Her other mother wasn't there to help her, and she died of something preventable. Something Harry knows she could have healed.

Harrybrook hates his name. I think he was too quiet about it, though, to the point where his family wasn't aware of it.

They probably figured it was overwriting Harry's memory. It's Harrybrook's name now, instead. Harry just feels like it's a reminder of being tricked.

I think at one point he should get an honor title, but I'm still working it out. He might just be keeping Harrybrook as a grim reminder.

If it's him who kills Juniperclaw, I know for a fact he'd take Waspstar's orders very seriously; "Please be discreet and professional." It's only mostly personal, you see. More importantly, this is for SkyClan.

Leafstar wouldn't have approved. But she's not here now.

He'd quietly intercept Juniperclaw as he approaches the camp, standing in his way, looking him up and down without a twinge of emotion on his face. Juniperclaw's hackles are raised immediately. He lived with SkyClan before Heartstar reformed ShadowClan-- everyone knows who Harveybrook is.

"I've- I've come to pay my respects," He says proudly, standing tall and noble. Even after that he did, he has the boldness to hold himself as a brave warrior. What he knows he did, and to who he's talking to. Harrybrook shouldn't fault him for not knowing how arrogant he comes across-- but does anyway.

"Yes, we've been expecting you," He flicks his tail and dips his head respectfully, "Right this way."

The trail doesn't lead to camp.

When Juniperclaw begins to realize that they're taking a strange path, he just waves it away as an odd feeling. It's been a while since he's been here, after all. But the tickle doesn't go away. It gets stronger and stronger, until he recognizes the northern border of what used to be ShadowClan's full range.

And that's when he halts, "Where exactly are you taking me?"

"Not any further if you don't want to," Though Harrybrook's eyes are wide like he's about to pounce on prey and his massive body is buckled low, prowling, sizing up the distance between them, his tone is soft. Like he's gently explaining something to a fellow warrior. "This would be far enough."

The ex-deputy swallows on a dry throat, frozen in place. Harrybrook relaxes his stance. Juniperclaw seems to be very good at taking orders, just like he is. He knows exactly what to do to keep this discreet and professional.

"If you'd like, we can finish the long walk. It's a place my mother used to like. It has flowers, butterflies, it's a lovely haven," He relaxes his stance, meeting Juniperclaw's terrified eyes with a calm, dutiful look.

The panic distills into a resolve. Like something clicked in his mind, and he was coming to one of those unspoken conclusions that these Forest Four cats all seem to have figured out between them. "All right. I... I think I know the haven you're talking about. We can have our fight there. There's no need to make a scene."

Harrybrook's ear flicks, but Juniperclaw doesn't see it as he brushes past him. It seems he misunderstood what this is. He thinks this is an invocation of the Right to Challenge. That this is going to be a fair fight between warriors.

It's the last mistake he ever made. But he doesn't feel a thing. Back turned to his killer, he hears the snap before he learns in StarClan that it was the sound of his own neck.

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

[the-solar-system52]

ok who the FUCK was going to tell me that my favorite musician ever made a demo based off my favorite movie ever AND I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT IT???

so there i was, scrolling on google through some 2010 content, and I see a song on Genius titled "ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE" and out of curiosity i click on it and get jumpscared by NEIL FUCKING CICIEREGA????? AS IN? LEMON DEMON NEIL CICIERGA? AS IN MY NO 1 SPOTIFY WRAPPED ARTIST SINCE 2021?? THAT NEIL CICEREGA???

and I hit play and ITS THE OPENING TO SPIRAL OF ANTS?????

SPIRAL OF ANTS WAS ORIGINALLY BASED OF 2010 THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT

(here is the youtube video the Genius site leads to: https://youtu.be/QuFv1jAo2CE?si=ceAdnsvOxEgcMBp1)

so ofc i relistened to Spiral of Ants and started digging for any hints towards its 2010 origins. i couldn't find much literal stuff since alien warnings about one of Jupiter's moons and a bunch of ants dying don't really have much in common. there is one lyric that uses the word 'odyssey' that could be referencing 2001: A Space Odyssey but idk.

but! in regards to the themes of Spiral of Ants instead of just the plot then there is plenty in common! SOA has an overarching theme of fusion and collective consciousness, since the story follows a hivemind of ants mindlessly following each other into a spiral and eventually becoming one ant and dying. i always took this song as a metaphor for mass hysteria and/or capitalism since fusion is viewed in a negative light. the ant's lack of individuality prevents them from recognizing the colony is just being led in circles since they are all only focusing on following the ant right in front of them via pheromones, and the fusion is what ultimately leads to their death.

2010 also has the theme of fusion! the scene the demo title quote appears in happens right after the scene where Hal and Dave fuse (technically. the exact time they literally fuse sort of depends on who you ask, but they definitely metaphorically fuse in this scene. cuz yk "Don't be. We'll be together.") the Europa message is basically Halman's first words. and although some out-of-context lyrics from SOA may fit Halman, 2010 overall has a more positive view on fusion. Halman doesn't count as a hivemind since he's only a fusion of two people, and because of that, he still retains all of his intelligence and memories from his past life unfused, if anything he's smarter. Instead, Halman acts as a metaphor for a functioning symbiotic, and possibly romantic, relationship between Hal and Dave. They fused because they actually wanted to be together, and not out of mindless instinct like the ants in SOA did. Fusion is the thing that saves them, instead of the thing that dooms them.

I think it's really interesting to think about how Spiral of Ants could've originally been based of Halman but then evolved into the song we know it today. And what would the song have been like if it stuck with the initial 2010 inspiration? Would it have been more hopeful and positive instead of the story of inevitable death we got in the finished project?

And am I a little pissed off that we could've gotten a Lemon Demon song based of my favorite fictional character ever but instead we got a song about ANTS? Maybe yeah. But this knowledge certainly gives me a new appreciation of the song overall.

Though I do wish this could've been an Ivanushka situation, a demo of Touch Tone Telephone that was released fully with completely different lyrics and story but the same melody. But the demo we have of Europa has no lyrics and is basically just opening of SOA with no major musical differences I can make out. If lyrics were ever written for this earlier Halman-inspired version of SOA, then it's been 10 years since the demo, I don't reckon our chances of getting the full song. But I can dream I suppose.

Also! Here's picture of Neil in Hal cosplay that I found on Pinterest. You're welcome.

Honestly knowing Neil was a space odyssey fan makes me think of what other songs could've had space odyssey influence? Ancient Aliens always gave Dawn of Man vibes to me, but even more vague stuff like Soft Fuzzy Man, Cabinet Man, No Eyed Girl or Aurora Borealis?? Who knows, the possibilities are endless!

Edit: Guys. I found a scrapped instrumental named 'Kubrick and the Beast'. As in. Stanley??? Kubrick??? Neil said this about the song:

"The albums tone ended up going in a different direction" what do you MEAN?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WENT IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION?? WAS SPIRIT PHONE ORIGINALLY INSPIRED BY THE SPACE ODYSSEY SERIES??? OR MAYBE MORE JUST KUBRICK IN GENERAL?? EXPLAIN??

[dietmountaindewbae]

hiii i LOVE ur fics omg pls never stop writing,

could you maybe do something You-ish (the TV show "You") (idk if you've seen it but it's amazing) something stalker-ish? where alex is joe and reader is his, soon to be, gf (cuz he makes her) (any alex era) 💌

hope ur well🤍💋

xxiii. obsession

alex turner x reader

word count: 12626

summary: We ran into each other by chance or by fate, your clumsiness started something for me, something for us, and it's my duty to find out who you are. (the car! era) This story is written on Alex's narrative.

warnings: obsessions & rough s*x

song recommendation: tear you apart by she wants revenge

───── ୨୧ ─────

Ever since that day outside of a party, when you fell into my arms, drunk and loud, I had never felt so high, I had felt something the moment you smiled at me and flushed from the embarrassment, your eyes watery from the cold, your lips red full of blood, alcohol running fast through your veins, my heart falling from my mouth, you pulled away and hugged yourself, too embarrassed from what had happened, you thought it was too much booze, I thought it was meant to be, right place and right time. You just said "Sorry," I helped you to get back on your feet, our hands lightly graze and we lock in a stare, but then your mates dragged you across the street, they had dragged you away from me, like parents and their out-of-control kid, you waved goodbye at me, and all I could do was smile and wave goodbye to you, I was a fool, I didn't know what to say, it was one of those 'what would have happened?' moments when I ask myself, 'what if I had just said "It's ok, don't worry, love"' Icould vividly picture us walking down the street, going for some food because we were pissed, I would've kissed you, and asked for your number, then we could be dating, holding hands in the street, laughing at everything, hanging out with your stupid mates, if they hadn't been there and taken you away from me, I probably wouldn't have found meself, hiding behind the threes in the middle of a cold winter in LA, hoping to be in the warmth of your arms than out in the cold darkness of the street. I can't help to wonder if you ever think of me.

Your name and your last name stayed in a constant loop on my mind, one of your mates, the one with the light brown hair had screamed it as she found you falling into my arms, it would be stupid if I didn't look for you, right? You're gorgeous, you were nice and interesting, It would be weird if I didn't try to find your social media. It was easy to find you, I hate to admit how easy it is to find everything online these days, I found your Instagram and Facebook with just a few clicks on my computer, it's too easy it makes me laugh.

I scrolled through every single one of your posts on Facebook, you had a few, not many, everything was mainly about your little family trips and your sister's child, I made a note that you might just have Facebook out of pressure from your mother and sister since they always tag you in memes or those annoying TED Talk videos and you never answer, I found your mother's page, widowed, 49 years old, looks 45, she gave you her face, older sister, found her page too, married with a toddler, awfully bitter since she has to post where she is at all times, even if her child had taken a massive shit and had the looks of a giant worm, she would've posted it, I left the best for last. Your Instagram, no one these days uses Facebook.

Your Instagram was private but empty with not a single sight of you... so it's no use, what about your friends?... Hello you... I could hold on to these group pictures Larissa posted, thank you internet! Your friend group was small but they knew how to get around, only 4 people, two girls called Julie and Larissa, and Julie's boyfriend Luca, 5 if you counted me in, soon, luckily for me, Julie had an empty page, barely any pictures, just her and Luca but her profile was public but that lead me to find your other friend, Larissa had pictures of her face and some of you and Julie at pubs, very self-centered I suppose, Luca only posted about being a gym addict. I took a more personal approach, your sister Nina, who loves you very much, she had plenty of pictures of you. Thanksgiving was at your house, you looked gorgeous in those pictures, you wore a white dress with red flowers and black platforms, your long hair in beautiful waves, if any pervert were to see it, you would be such an easy victim with that long hair, but you're not, you're not so easy to hunt down in the dark. There was a picture of you and your sister's baby boy, sitting next to the three by a bay window, great. I took note of the stores, houses, and historical buildings nearby and then reality hit me as I took a cab on the way to your house.

Come on Alex, what are you doing? You look like a creep with your cap and coat in the middle of the night, It's only just a crush it'll go away, just like all the others. But you see? That's the problem with you, you're not, this is dangerous but I'll take my chances for you, I'm not obsessed with you, like I said, it's only just a crush. I hide behind some trees in front of your house on the other side of the street, and I contemplate this wonderful girl in her bedroom, going round and round with a book in her hands. 

At night me head couldn't stop spinning, making all of these scenarios, about a girl who meets a stranger, and they fall madly in love in just a split second. I didn't need more, I could hold on to your light vanilla perfume and the softness of your hair, your lips, your collarbone, your shoulder, the curve of your breasts in the blouse you wore that night, I want to hold you close and kiss you hard.

For next few days I followed you around, I made you a time table, every morning at 5:30 you went for a run, and you finished off at home some with exercises you found on YouTube, you were visibly struggling, and that made me laugh but I felt bad for doing so, you worked hard, you finished around 6:30, you liked walking like a true new yorker, in your most sober looks, sometimes in a dress with a blue navy sweater on top of dresses , jeans, and a silky shirt, winter or no winter, you loved wearing tank tops, loved exposing even just a little bit of your body, even in the coldest days, your legs, your beautiful shoulders, a v-neck, mini skirts, checkered shorts or pants, and sexy patterned tights with colors like pastel blue, and even red to spice up your all black outfits, and you always wore that luscious and berry coloured lipstick on your lips, heels, motorcycle boots, ballerina flats, dresses, chunky sweaters, straight leg vintage jeans, coats, heels, shoulder bags, mini bags, but what a must was, something that never came off of you, your golden necklace, you're an everything girl, you dressed for the day, it told you exactly what to wear, even if you broke your pattern, you mostly dressed like Jane Birkin, jeans, white shirt, chunky purse, but you love leather, leather belts, leather jackets. Then you walk to your favorite café, and your drink depends on how tired you feel, black coffee for busy days or cappuccinos for the days you don't feel in a rush, then you take the metro, read a book and sip on your coffee while listening to your music, you are in college by 7:30, have 30 minutes to spare, but you're wise, and you use them organize yourself while you ease up with some music, I've never seen a longer playlist to be honest, there's a bit of everything there, you write your things in a red wine journal, I wonder what's in those little pink notes you stick on your notebook.

I made sure you got safely to your workplace after school at 4:00 pm, a bakery, you love talking to the people at the register as they ask you for your favorite dessert, and you always choose the same, tiramisu, rich coffee with some liquor, mascarpone carefully enveloped with delicious whipping cream, and a touch of cocoa sifted all over the tiramisu, and you juggle back and forward with doing school work, help in the kitchen, serve the costumers with a bright and friendly smile, you're tired and they don't pay you enough. And when you get home a 10 pm, you don't go to sleep, you stay up until you're finished but you never truly are, no matter how late or early, you can't sleep, why is that beautiful? Aren't your sheets made of the softest cotton? But I can see, that you are compromised to live in a city that never sleeps, you get ready for your next job at your nearest live jazz pub as a bartender, I'm very familiar with that type of job, you serve the customers with a kind smile as the music rocks you, you talk to other girls, and the artists flirt with you from time to time but you didn't submit, you knew better than that, you got paid well, the tips that fell on your back pocket from the nasty old men helped you to afford your apartment, barely making it to the next cut but you made it.

And every restless night when your mind couldn't stop thinking you went out to the nearest pub, and you made new friends, some men flirted with you until sadly, one night I had to watch you leave with one of them, he conquered your body before me, I wonder if you ever think of me in that way, a sexy stranger, that clouded your mind with ideas until you finally gave in. He did what he wanted to do, and when he left, you were still flushed and needy, that night I watched you hump your pillow with angst to get yourself off, a gorgeous picture to see, one that was engraved in my brain since then.

Every night when I crashed in my bed, and I prayed for this to go away but it continued to grow, I prayed for you to get out of me head, but your face, your smile, every curve of your body lived in me head, and if I don't something about it, you'll hunt me down forever. 

I walked down the street on a Saturday night, It's been a week since we bumped into each other, discreetly searching for you with my eyes, until, I found you, in your West Village, street-level, white, vintage but modern apartment that might be hard for you to afford but you keep on paying it because the creepy landlord has a massive crush on you, he cannot fool me, I know what it's like.

You live in such a melancholic part of New York and also warm, old, and historic, it holds so many stories, and memories that's why it reminds you of home, like the baby pictures your mom posts, your living area illuminated with yellow lights from you mid-century lamps, like the sky in a beautiful afternoon, laying in your sette in a white tank top and panties, finally, you get to relax and enjoy yourself.

I could see the outline of your body through your thin linen white curtains, you were wearing vintage headphones connected to your record player, reading a book, Bukowski's 'Love Is A Dog From Hell' Yes, it must certainly is. Then suddenly you stood up, I'm certain you're barefoot, through a crack in the curtain I can see you're approaching the window, I could see the left side of your face, soft, round, cute little pointy nose, and your eyes, a sparkle in them as you stare into the sky, pink pouty lips, and a little beauty spot in your cheek, your phone in the ear, moving your lips with a smile as if you were talking to the person in the other line in real life. You nodded a couple of times and then you hung up, I saw the outline of your body, running towards your bedroom, what's got you in such a hurry? But before you forget, you turn up the music so loud the whole neighborhood can hear it, you choose something classic 'Bang Bang' by Nancy Sinatra, shoot me down, your linen curtain reflecting the light, and you take out your top in one move tossing it away, the outline of your naked beautiful body stretching had made me think so many things to do with it in less than a second, you pick your clothes with care, hanging them in front of your mirror, posing with the clothes on top of your body.

You sit somewhere in your room, and I can hardly see you, something about your magnetism draws me to you, so I stupidly cross the street and find shelter behind a three, but I get even more stupid as I get to see you doing your makeup in the mirror, your phone rings and your face goes blank, you answer and I see how your expressions change like the way flowers rot, gradually you get darker and darker, until... you break into tears putting an end to the call, and you push your phone away, you look into the mirror, and I see a tear roll down your cheek slowly, your face scrunched, and your cheeks reddened, you look at yourself in the mirror, all I can see is hate and rage, and then, you're cold as ice, not another tear rolls down your cheeks, you clean them up with a soft cotton pad and continue to apply makeup on your face, I wonder who has made you cry? even if it was just one small insignificant tear, whoever that was...they still made you cry.

Before you leave, you check yourself one last time, the dress you choose to wear was way better than the typical night outfits women wear these days, less ostentatious, you like dressing feminine, classic but modern, but not so pretty that you look like a little girl, you were more than pretty, you were hot, steaming, boiling, no man would approach you like that, and that was the sad truth for you but good news for both of us, not as any man would approach you, they had to have big balls to do so, baby doll dress, platforms, and a racer jacket, cute, stylish, edge, as always, you were sharp as a blade to the skin. Your hair is straight and it looks longer than when it's on your natural waves, and the wind blows perfectly on it, but that velvet red lipstick on your mouth might be the death of me.

You went outside, took a cab, and went out, I waved my arm, and soon enough a cab passed by.

"Where to?" The man said.

"Follow that cab in front of you," He took off, it was sad, drivers these days don't even care for men like this, the ones that just order to do something like that, there were a lot of crazy people here, and I had to protect you from them.

I see you being dropped off at a crowded pub, I hand a good amount of money to the man, and he drives off, I see you go inside, and you find your mates, I sit across from you, not too close so that you can see me but, but not so far so I don't hear you. You hug each one of them and you sit in the booth next to Julie.

"What's the occasion?" You said, next thing, Julie turns and shows a sparkling diamond on her finger, "Luke, Luke, Luke!" You teased her in awe, you held her hand carefully, examining it up close to the ring, "It's stunning" You said with a kind smile, it was amazing how I wished to be that hand, the one you caressed with care.

"I wanna do something big for the bachelorette, and I don't know where to start, I mean..." It must be hard for you, everyone around you is married or has a serious more than the 2-year relationship you can't hold on to, everyone has a kid now, everyone turns 27 and suddenly they already have a house, a child, and a loving husband, I wouldn't be like that ever, things won't be like that with me, I promise, we can take it as slow and calm as you want, or maybe go fast, I can go both ways, I just have to wait for the moment I may finally introduce myself to you, maybe by tomorrow when you go out but it must be soon before you forget about that last Saturday night, and it looks like you are in the process of, you are emptying those glasses of wine like coke in a hot summer day.

"Ease up with the wine," Larissa says, "You're gonna end up embarrassing yourself like the last time, you always have to pull a seen," Here we go.

"What fuckin' scene?" You spit back, "I was tired and I had been wearing high heels for more than 2 hours, yes, I was drunk but it was a genuine accident" You were annoyed, why could no one understand that? Accidents happen, and it must be hard for you to stand that pain, if I had stayed over, I would've given you a lovely massage, and treated you the way you're supposed to, I'm starting to be not very fond of Larissa.

"Uhu, yeah, but do you remember the last time you went to that party and got so drunk you "accidentally" confused a cigarette with marihuana and cried in the street like a baby?" Larissa, you just had to make it worse, didn't you?

"Fuck off, I can do whatever the fuck I want, if you don't want to believe me that's fine, oh!... and a scene, Larissa, a scene is what you pull when you yell at everyone as if you were the fucking owner of everything and everyone" You took your purse and rushed out, I see that Julie went out to get you, so I discreetly follow her, and find you waving your arm for a cab.

"Wait, don't go," Julie says with a caring tone, "I know you're not ok, you can't lie to me, you know how Lari is..."

"But why does she have to be a fuckin' news flasher of everything I do, embarrassing me in front of everyone, making me look like I'm not fun to be around," Julie tried to hug you but you wouldn't let her near.

"You say some scary shit while you're drunk, that's the only thing I'm going to agree on, but I can see you're not ok," Intuitive, honest, and kind, good choice for a friend.

"He called me" Julie sighs, who is he? This is the prize of being old fashioned, just like me, that's another thing I like about you, you have a life, even if you spend time alone, you go out in the world instead of taking a picture of it and expose your life, you have a little life, but it's yours and only yours.

"What did he want?" You shrugged and searched for something in your leather purse, taking a cigarette, and desperately flicking the lighter on.

"He just asked how I was, while he's off... modeling and possibly fucking two to three girls every single night, and he asks me how I am, drunk and high, he's so... he's-" To find the right words to describe that wanker only made me think about the damage he must have done to you, come on, spill the name, "That's not really everything, he's just-"

"Part of everything" Julie answered back, hugging you close to her, a caring hug, sweet, I could take a picture of it, I'm glad there is Julie for you, "Go home, and text me when you get there," She holds her arm up, taking a cab for you and sending you back home, I did the same thing as before, and the man did as he was told. But the problem was, you didn't go home, you went to a nearby liquor store and bought more wine for yourself, you drank it straight from the bag and you plugged in your wired earphones to your phone, kicking your feet and humming to the music 'New Dawn Fades' by Joy Division, a sad post-punk classic, you should be glad I am here to be on the look for you as you waddle in the steers, an easy target, if anyone dared to do anything to you, well, you must be glad there is me.

You walked a few blocks to your house, but you didn't go in, you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, so you sat by the staircase, defeated since you were desperately looking for your keys in your little purse, and you stared into the empty dark street, and you cried, you kept crying so hard it makes me feel the need to go and help you, I didn't really think about what I was doing, you were desperate, and I was afraid of letting you stay outside like that, then you stood up, unpredictable as always, I see you taking a fast pace. What are you thinking about? Did you forget something? You walk a few blocks until you stay still on a crowded street, the cars on that street go by faster, and you stare into the void as the red lights flash before you in straight lines, your cheeks stained with black tears, the darkness takes you in like one of their children, your head wrapped up in horrible ideas, so dark they blind your eyes, so atrocious your mind can only find one way to make you see the light at the end, you can't find peace, your body is tired, your eyebags are heavy, and you don't feel like yourself, you've lost control and you murmur something over and over again under your breath like some sort of sick prayer...

"A loaded gun won't set you free"

I see you take a step forward, now standing on the pavement, my heart drops to my stomach, and I run to get you, the wind blowing my cap away, what are you doing? why are you doing this? I can fix it, I can fix you, I can help you, I'll make it all disappear, before you take another step, the bus coming your way was out to get you, and you closed your eyes, but I won't let you go like that, my hand grasps your shoulder tightly, and I pull you to my arms, you're cold, shivering, your wired earphones fall from your head and get tangled in your hair.

"Are you alright?" Your face is wet with tears, and you look at me with big eyes, flushed again from the embarrassment, but that sparkle, that little fucking sparkle just makes me so mad, I'd kill for you to see me like that over and over, your little nose red, your eyelids a bit puffy.

You quickly wipe your tears, "Erm..." You sniffed, and you stared into my face with a cute and educated smile, "No... I mean, yes... sorry, I'm just... I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry," You scan my face, the familiarity of it makes a grin spread on your lips, "If I sound like a creep please stop me, but, I think I know you" Your lips curl into a bigger smile, as you realize who I am, I am that man, I am the man who will always be there for you, "You're that guy I fell into the other day" I pretend as if am amazed over who small the world is.

"Hey you," You said to me with a smile.

"Hello you" We both look to our feet, and I feel some warmth creeping up me cheeks, "We gotta stop meetin' like this" I see you flush, looking at me through your lashes, you slowly bite your bottom lip as you brush your hair out of the way, flirty. You struggle to untangle your earphones from your hair, I take a step forward and gently untangle them.

"You just had to come and rescue me again huh? Who are you? Superman?" I hear your voice, and your laughter like a melody I would love to hear over and over again, gentle, a little deep, but beautiful, I can see that behind all of that dark makeup and those dark looks, you're a sweet but lost little girl.

"I'm Batman" You're laughing and blushing at my jokes, that means that you like me.

"I like your accent batman" That's nice to hear, some people say that it sounds too rough and I sound like a scumbag, but I'm glad your ears enjoy the sound of it.

"Thanks, love" You take a step forward, your eyes looking at mine and then at my lips, it's hard to breathe right now.

"What are you doin' so late, huh? Are you wearing your costume?" You tease me, and we begin to walk together, to nowhere, just where we want this conversation to take us.

"Sort of, and you?" You shrugged, what a hard night you had. I'm worried about you, you didn't need to apologize for "not thinking", we kept walking until the smell of food dilated our nose trails.

"Just went for some drinks with a couple of friends nothing too exciting... do you mind if we stop for some food?" My fantasies had become real, you wanted to get some street pizza, the nice old man smiling at you tenderly, he's nice, not creepy, just a nice man, you ask for two slices of pepperoni with Italian sausage and the man is nice enough to give you the most fresh and warm slices of pizza, "Here, it's on me... it's the least I can do"

"Thank you" You chuckled and waved it off, gosh I wish I could just freeze this moment forever.

"I should be thanking you..." You wait to hear my name, and I stay silent contemplating this moment for a second, this is how it starts.

"Alex" You shake hands with me as your tongue, teeth, and lips articulate your name, you have a lovely name, and I'm crazy about you, "Charmed" I hold my gaze at you as you slowly let go of me hand.

"So, what were your plans for the night before I had completely crashed them" Funny, dark jokes, sarcasm, you're really smart but you don't like showing it off, you make me laugh so much, it's clear we have the same humor, that's another reason as to why you're perfect for me and I am for you.

"Um... I thought about going out somewhere, anywhere, sometimes I can't sleep... I'm afraid of losing life by being a slave of me work, me house, everythin' but I found something exciting" You smile to yourself, and you smile at me, you see? We're perfect.

"I do that sometimes... whenever I can't sleep, I go to a bar and you know... try to meet new people, I hate having to post about it on social media though, everyone has their screens glued to their faces, and I just don't like that, I don't wanna breathe my phone, I wanna breathe air" If I were you I would write a whole book about this, I love that you think just like that, we can be people for once, and run around the world and make it ours, "What do you do for a living?"

"Music producer" You smiled at me, "And I have the gift of guessing people's favorite artists,"

"Really? What are mine's?" I have the chance to look at you confidently, I see you like that, I can see how fast your heart is going, how you try to calm it with your breathing, your chest rising and falling fast, as I stare into your eyes intensely making little goosebumps crawl like spiders, I hope you know how much I like you.

"Nancy, Lana... and summat dark like Joy Division Unknown Pleasures" You clap and you're amazed at how exact I am, I can smell it on you.

"Exactly, I love them," You began to hum their songs, dancing on the street, I follow your lead, as you spin, "I was listening to it a few moments ago" You turn dark again, I'm not going to let you, I immediately regret ever saying that, I don't know what that bloody song did to you, but you were listening to it before you attempted to get crashed.

"I'm glad I was there" Sweeten up, tell me what's wrong, I'm here for you.

"Yeah... me too, I wasn't thinking straight..." You clean your throat, you cross your arms, and furrow you're eyebrows, it makes you angry to say it, makes you sad, makes you frustrated, and even so since you watch me patiently waiting for you to tell me what happened to you, I didn't have to say it, you already knew "I don't think you would like to hear about my problems Alex, they're meaningless"

"Nothin' is meaningless just like us meeting tonight perhaps..." Shite, I take it back, I can see your face looking at me weirdly, but you smiled, you're fascinated? Did you like that?

"You're right," You warm up to me, I can see it in your body, I can see it in your face, I've given you no reason to not trust me, I'm harmless, I told you you can trust me, "But I want a ciggy, if you don't mind" You lean against a brick wall, your leg supporting your weight, I'm in love with your smooth and shiny legs, what's your secret?

"Mind if I steal one?" You say no with your head, you check your box again, and you curse in your head. The box has only one cigarette left.

"Sharing it is" You light your cigarette with your pink lighter, I can see some cute puppy stickers on it, you inhale the thick white smoke and exhale it, your whole body relaxing, feeling lighter, you feel calm, and you hand it to me, holding it between your index and your middle, you have a vintage silver rose ring in your middle, cracked red nail polish, and the cigarette butt was stained with your gorgeous red lipstick, I take it in between my lips, your lipstick tastes sweet like marshmallows, I savor it, Jesus, I hope I can taste your pretty lips soon.

"Talk to me," You sigh, and your mouth articulates each phrase, your voice tired and sad, I hear every detail of your story with care, a girl that can't control her alcohol, one that just wants to have fun, one that makes stupid mistakes but learns, I see beauty not only out but inside you, in your mistakes, in your intentions, in your life, you only got one, and you've made noble mistakes, I can see you're a whole woman, a hot and determined woman, but you have no road clear enough, no road to pick, you're chasing something you don't even know what it is.

"So now, I'm just trying to see what happens, I'm getting my degree soon, and then I'll keep working, maybe I'll start something on my own" Maybe if you don't love your work, at least you can come home back to me, I'll cook dinner, I'll wash your clothes, I'll set the table, I'll prep you a warm bath, I'll shower you, you won't move a single finger when you come home to me, "How's working as a music producer?"

"Oh, well, it's great... sometimes we have our differences but most of the time I just do what people tell me to do, in secret I make their music better, sometimes they don't notice and they just brag about how amazing was their idea" Your cigarette burns away into my fingers, I set it off into the wall and discreetly put it inside my pocket, you change the direction, we're going back, you're shamelessly eying me up and down, I swear if you don't stop...

"What are your favorite bands?" You're changing the subject, I don't like that, I don't like that you don't want to talk about what you've told me, but I keep you interested.

"Well... an old-time favorite is The Strokes" I answer firmly, you take out from your purse your earphones, plug them into your phone, and press play on the music as we walk together sharing your music, 'Call It Fate Call It Karma' on full volume.

"Might be basic for you, but I don't see a better song for this moment" You turn to face me, and we stop in the dark corner of the sidewalk, your eyes greedy and precious, that bloody spark in your dark eyes excites me, it's all in your eyes, I can see it clearly, I can see what you want from me, you blink slowly and wait for me to make the next move, and I don't doubt for a second, I close the space between us, and very gently press the palm of my hand to your warm cheek, it's warm and pink, staring into your eyes like stars in the black sky, kissing your lips, sweet as burned marshmallows in a bonfire night, you kiss me so softly at first, but you make that animal inside me come alive, I'm a man, I'm an animal, and I kiss your tender lips hungrily, I didn't expect for you to answer back with the same hunger, you feed me with your kiss, and your breath tastes like ecstasy, I'm a junkie, sweet sweet nicotine, I'm a chain smoker, "Take me home, Alex..."

"I'll take you anywhere you tell me, sweetheart" You grab my hand, fingers intertwined, and I feel 15 again, my palms are sweaty, my sweat is cold, and I feel so warm in my clothes, I can't wait to take them off, the anticipation getting the best of me, you make my dreams come true, and I'm so happy the world had chosen you to fall into my arms. I'm your protector, a guardian angel.

On the way home, we sneak to share some angsty kisses three or more times, you're getting me worked up, letting me touch you, grasping your hips, biting my lip, kissing my cheek, moaning my name into my lips, you're making my head spin. We walk up the stairs together, opening the door to your shelter, you have a lovely house, so clean that some things are allowed to be misplaced, it's big because you don't like having so many things out, your bed is on the other side of the wall were you living area is, the vague familiarity of it makes me feel like I'm imagining it all.

"This my girl cave, my crib" You joke, I take pictures of it in my head from bottom to top, every single inch, every place I imagine us being in, watching tele, cooking together, making a mess of the kitchen of course, dancing, fucking, scratching your wooden countertop, "What do you think?"

"It's-" We both get freaked out by the knocks at your door, some dickhead calling out your name, begging you to open the door, you roll your eyes, you know exactly who he is.

You swing open the door, cross your arms, and stand your ground, marking that he's not welcome here, you're strong, you're determined, go you! Show some teeth, "I don't wanna hear another one of your crazy fucking stories, tell them to your mother, Cameron" You were about to shut the door in his face but he stops it with his foot, that must've hurt Cameron, that's your ex isn't he? The one who made you cry, "Leave" You spit.

"I won't, you can't possibly ask for something like that... you and I know there's no one better than me, no better match than us" You stay silent, why are you thinking? why are you second-guessing? He takes a step forward, he's getting closer, you're face is a frown, you don't want him to touch you even though he keeps trying.

"I don't want you here, you must leave now Cameron, I want you out" He turns into hysteric laughter, he thinks you're crazy, he thinks you've lost your mind, well big shot, you're not it, Cameron only wants to hurt you with his words, he wants to make the most damage, he gets off at this, making you his only real standard, but Cameron will never treat you like you must be treated.

"Don't talk me to like that" I take his aggressiveness as a sign to take a step in, who the fuck does this wanker think he is to talk to you like that? You see that's a real scumbag, and I'll be his worst nightmare.

"Like what?" I come up from the back, cocky, sounding like a total prick, and I can see that you love it, when I sound like this, dominant, confident, "She's telling you to go, I'm telling you to fuck off. Now" I slam my voice at him, there are scary people in this world, there are men like Cameron, he has an intense gaze, but he wouldn't ever pick up a fight for anyone, yes... not even you, he's too vain, a narcissist, he is all bark but no bite, and then there are the men who would move mountains for their loved ones, he steps away, and I shut the door close, I can feel you shivering beneath my skin.

You stare at me, and I drag you in closer, that's what you like... you liked to be treated rough, you like being needed, I push your hips against mine, I can see it in your face, you've felt it, you've felt how hard my cock is, and it's hurting so fucking bad now, I can't wait for another second, I can't wait to take you to bed, you jump on me, wrapping your gorgeous soft legs on me, I decide to leave the first reminder of me on your kitchen table, laying your body on top of the cold wooden countertop for the first reminder of me and the things I'm about to do to you, my knuckles pull down your panties, ripping them off from your skin, your pussy glistening, bathed in your wetness, I can smell your flesh from the distance, like a predator and their victim, I'm a lion, "I'm gonna fuckin' tear you apart"

"Fuuuckin' please" You moan so loudly I bet it could be heard from across the street, and your voice shivers, I've barely even touched you yet, and you're already so wet for me, what are you thinking about? what's in your mind? I wish I could crack your skull open.

I lower myself in between your legs, I've been so busy admiring your body, the scent of the almond oil you rub on your smooth legs, I bet that you shaved them today, and I wonder what else have you shaved, your dress rides to your hips as you contortion under my touch, Jesus, you're desperate for it, but no, I want to enjoy you.

"Calm the fuck down, lay still and close your eyes" I order, and you stiffen up, staying quiet, and still, "Atta girl", I can finally see what's in between your gorgeous long legs, a pink and small pussy, Jesus, I bet you're so fucking tight by the looks of it, my ring and middle finger begin their assault, pressing down vertically against your clit, you hum and your hips writhe against me fingers, slowly, pushing them, you like that, rubbing yourself against them, and when I see you through the glass I lose my mind, I see how me fingers get coated and damped in your wetness, and I love watching you get so worked up by that, I can feel me cock just getting harder by the second, it's hurting and it's a pulsing pain, but I bare with it just for you, because now I'm going to show you how exactly you're supposed to get fucked.

I spread open your pussy, pink and warm, swollen clit I pinch in between me fingers, and you hiss but you only get wetter, if I pinched for a little longer you were sure coming all over the table. I open me mouth to taste your warm and savory juices, I suck and kiss your clit, picking up with my tongue your wetness, you're going to cum so good, I can feel it building up, you're in for a ride, and you've just begun to climb up the roller coaster.

"Oh... that's soo good" You gasp and sigh, I let my two fingers twist inside your pussy, me knuckles rimming your walls slowly, the bumpy and hard skin of my fingers make you gently fuck yourself into them, while I watch you with my tongue lapping over your clit teasingly, just those gentle touches make your legs shake, and your walls to contract, you're wonderful, you behave well, your hands slowly crawling into me hair, pulling it gently, your little whimpers get me worked up and I have to put in the biggest effort to not palm meself, I want you to feel every inch of me.

"You feel so lovely, babe doll" This feels so right, you bite on my lower lip, pulling my flesh until it bleeds. You're a sucker for my accent, you really are, you enjoy hearing me voice, doesn't it relax you? Doesn't it turn you on? I want to know what it is... I want to feel what it is, your legs keep shaking and your body keeps getting stiffer, your lower abdomen making pressure, and your walls are closing around me fingers, I shake them inside you, your mouth falls open, my lips sucking your clit harder and your body arches until I feel your cunt losing up, feeling your release leaking out of that tiny little hole, I'm eager to taste it, I eat your pussy eagerly, you know I'm hungry for it, my mouth eating your pussy like a soft and warm bun, and you taste just as sweet, just as good as I imagined, I won't let you rest, I will keep you on the limit. I drag you forward, making you kiss me lips, "Do you taste that? Taste how sweet you are... taste how good I ate you"

"And you're gonna fuck me just as good?" Your hand sneaks in between me legs, you love how hard my dick is for you, it makes you feel so thrilled, makes you feel good about yourself, and it makes you feel hot.

"You'll just have to wait a little bit longer, I'm not done with you" I'm certain about something, you're a kinky little shit, and I know you want something like this, I bend you over the kitchen table, and you're just ready for it, arching your back, spreading your legs, you're not putting a fight, my hand kneads your ass like dough, and spanks it hard over and over again, "You precious little thing, are you going to do everything I tell you to do?"

"No" You state firmly, earning another smack in your ass.

"Tell me summat..." I push my hips against your dripping wet cunt, that's oozing for another smack, "How much do you want it?" You sigh, rubbing your ass against my cock, you're killing me, you better stop now, the friction, the warmth, your goddamn smell, "Answer me you fuckin' cunt" You giggle, you do love it.

"I want you so bad" You whisper, no, I don't like that.

"Not enough" The smacks you earn are getting harder to bear, but you enjoy them, and so do I, you masochistic little shit.

"I need you inside me, Alex... I can't wait any longer" You rock your hips against mine, humping your naked pussy against my bulge, "Please..." You whimper so sweetly, I can't handle it any longer, I take off your dress, and you're wearing nothing but your tall black heels, looking like a fuckin' hooker, but I bet that's what you like.

"You want it you fucking slut?" You keep whimpering and rubbing yourself on me jeans, I bet that you've stained them already, "Come here" I turn you around and kiss you deeply, I can feel your hands unbuttoning my shirt as fast as you can, even in the heat of the moment you don't break my shirt but I couldn't care less, I take your hands and make fists ripping it apart and throwing it away, you're even faster to take out my jeans and leaving me on my boxers, that's the one good thing about me, I can see how your eyes lit up as you see how hard me fat cock is for you, you bite your lower lip and I pull you back up from your knees.

Time for reminder number two, the settee, I pull you up, and you sit in my arm until I put you back to the ground gently, I have to let you know that I was here, I need you to know how good I am, no other man could please you like that, I pull your leg up while you hold yourself up with the other, your pussy is so fucking wet my cock slides inside you so easily, I can feel the electric shocks that run all over your body, "Hard, please" You whine, I'm going to show you what hard actually is.

My hips thrust inside you so roughly the settee moves out of place, your nails dig into the cushions as I keep railing your tight hole harder, and you scream like bloody murder, I hope your neighbors don't call the police, I hope they can see how hard you're getting your cunt fucked, I want everyone that walks by to hear you, "You wanted hard babe!" You moan and scream, and keep getting your pussy pounded like meat being beaten up to get it tender. I dig your head into the pillows.

"Don't... d-don't-" Don't what?

"I can't understand you, babe, can you repeat that for me?" You pant trying to catch your breath, and your legs are numbing up, and I can see they've lost some strength, "Do you want me to stop, because I can" As I saw you didn't make a move, I began to pull out but you stopped, digging your nails into my wrist.

"Don't stop for fucks sake" Now for the next one, I stay buried inside you like that, you keep trying to fuck yourself into me cock but I just won't allow it, I pick you up once more, and your legs around my torso, and you press your warm chest against mine, I lean back against the giant bookshelf next to your bedroom door, you hold on into the shelves for leverage while I drive my cock inside you, your pussy feels so tight I wish I could let this last forever, I'll make that pussy mine.

"You want more, babe?" You hum and gasp, yes of course you do, you're loving every single inch of me cock, "God you look so beautiful with your mouth opened like that," I lick your bottom lip, "And that little cunt of yours is so wet for me, you're just making things harder for me..." I pushed meself too hard inside you, the shelf shook, and something hard dropped to the ground but you ignored it, you've lost yourself in my touch, and I feel embarrassed for dropping something. Your inner animal wakes up as I throw you into your bed.

I crawl on top of you but you gather up your strength to flip me over, I didn't expect that, you've taken the lead and I want to see you lose control, you writhe your hips into mine, your eyes facing the roof, and your mouth wide open, your hair falling into your head, you looked possessed, but you had lost the power to think about what you were doing, "For fucks sake" If you keep moving like that, you're going to make this end sooner, and I've already planned everything out, I try to sit up but you hold me down, chocking me so hard that it's almost impossible to breathe for me, but I love that feeling, my head feels light, my vision is blurry, but I'm not going to give in to you, I already have, you have got to give into me.

I flip you over so harshly, your head almost slammed against your headboard, "Listen to me you fuckin' cunt" My harsh tone makes your core shake, "You ain't the one on command, now... I don't wanna repeat meself" It's arousing you, I can feel it in between your legs, you're shamelessly getting wetter, "Don't make me repeat meself again" You love to play with me, I see that naughty little smile curling into your lips.

"You already did" You like to pull on my hair, don't you? And you will pay for that.

"Don't fuck with me" Your eyebrows push together and your little smirk makes me go mad.

"You know I love to" Love? You "love to"? Does this mean that you might love me? Even just a tiny bit?

"You do, huh?" I begin to rock my hips against yours, slowly, passionately, like a slow and steaming dance, I see your fingers grasping the sheets making hard fists, "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into" And I'm not lying, you really don't.

"Show me Alex" You whisper to me those three words so sexily, charmingly, I've already lost my mind.

"I'll show you how a real man fucks you, babe," Your oozing with the thrill, "I'll show you how to behave... you little fuckin' cunt" Your mouth opens to moan and I take advantage of it to spit inside your mouth, both my hands chocking you, "You're mine... all mine"

"I'd love to" You whimper, "Make me yours please... please just do, I want you Alex" You keep asking me that with your little weak voice, your body that speaks to me, I can read it so easily, it tells me that I'm doing exactly what you want me to do, it shivers, and it quivers, and it sweats, it screams, it tightens, it stiffens, in your eyes I can feel your fast heartbeat in my fingers, and it goes just as fast as mine, my body against yours sounds like I'm butchering you, your neighbors must think I'm holding a knife against your throat, but it does go as deep, it does penetrate and it hurts you in the most magnificently and pleasingly way, your eyes red shot, and your voice gets quieter, shit, I'm losing you, I am.

"Wake up, wake up!" I scream to you, my hand patting your cheek lightly, your pulse is barely detectable, I slap you across your face and you gain back consciousness in the blink of an eye, I didn't want to do it, I would never do that, but when your lips curl into your devilish smile, I know see how you really are.

"Do that again Al" You tease me, I love it when you call me like that, no one ever really does that anymore, is that my new nickname? Al? You're going to remember me forever babe, I hope you do, and tomorrow when you wake up, I'm still going to be there, I'll make your breakfast, and I'll do anything you ask me to do, even dishes, you won't pick them up.

"You're mad, woman" You giggle, and you try to pick yourself up, I can't let you, I did knock you over completely, my hand very gently caresses your cheeks, it's red and fragile, it must burn or at least sting, "Let me do the kissing for now, babe"

"And the fucking too perhaps?" You smile at me, your cute little button nose is flushed, your cheeks and chest are red, your nipples are hard, it turned you on to this point, you're dark, what else are you not telling me? "I'm crazy about you" Those words will echo in my head for the rest of my days.

I take no rush into fucking you, I'm not just a guy you'll sleep with, I'm your man, and I wanted to make sweet sweet love to you, but you won't let me, you like it rough, hard, fast, I don't want this moment to be over, at least not for me yet, you can cum as many times as you like, and like the real man I am, I am profoundly true to the saying 'Happy wife, happy life'

I hug you close to me, that's the least I can do, if I'm going to lose control, let my heart tell yours how much I love you, even if you dump me like a puppy, I'll stay loyal, I'll follow your scent everywhere, I will forever remember the scent of your vanilla hair, your Dior perfume, and the golden necklace around your neck, I counted 15 moles on your body, even the one in between your legs, my hands grab your hair into fists as I pound you harder and harder, you're losing your mind and I'm losing control again, your bed squeaks so loudly and the headboards slams against the wall so harshly, but I don't stop I can't stop now, I can feel you, I can feel it coming, you bring yourself to an end again, the palm of my hand slowly adds pressure on your lower belly, to ease you up, the bed keeps squeaking so annoyingly, and even after we ignored the several warnings, the legs of your bed broke and your headboard fell to the ground, we both break into laughter.

"Oh God!" Your little laughter is so bubbly and funny, it makes me smile and feel so ashamed at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, I'll pay for that" You rub the tip of your little nose against mine, and look at me tenderly, your fingers caressing the back of my head, if only you could see the hearts in my eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous... you know, I've never broken a bed before... you're not going to be easy to forget batman, I hope you don't disappear into the night soon" I'll get you off first, but there's one thing you should be certain of.

"I never intended to" Was that too much? Sorry if that was too much, maybe it was... maybe it wasn't, I'm having a hard time reading your face right now, you're looking at me very seriously, I don't want to get my hopes up, but you're killing me, I should focus now, finish the deed, "But I'm still sorry about your bed though"

"Shut the fuck up, and keep fucking me" Whatever she wants, whatever she wants... You're already the song on the radio I got stuck in me head.

I pull us closer to the safest edge of your bed, toss your legs over me shoulders, and bend them over, I lean over and pound the living shit out of you, I was balls deep inside you, and you like it, so much that you dig your nails into my back, scratching my skin until red and bloody, I don't care how much it hurts, leave as many marks as you want, the deeper the better, my hair falls over my forehead and you make the kindest gesture, your brush it back with your long nails, even if by now I'm sweating like a pig you keep bringing me closer to you, I can feel the light tingles of you breathing in me face, of you biting down on my golden chain making laugh, making me go insane, I keep pushing harder, and you throw your head back, almost letting go of me, but I won't let you, I'll send you to heaven if you want, but don't leave without me.

"Oh, Alex... I'm so close, please..." Your eyeballs turn into beautiful glossy pearls, and you crumble down into pieces as you coat my cock in your warm release, I can feel your walls pushing it out and running down your cozy hole, I stay buried inside you, watching your mouth fall open and choke out your last orgasms, they spin in my head like a tiny little music box, "You're next, Alex... you can't end things like that... you know how much I want it, you already did so much for me" Wait, what are you doing?

Your hands run up my chest, and you massage my shoulders, "You really want me to breed you, you greedy little fuck?" Your hands go down and you massage my balls, Jesus, you really do, I bet you're not even aware of what you're doing to me... or are you?

"Yes Alex, use it... use me" You know exactly what you're doing, I drag my cock out just rimming your walls once again, I better start warming you up, but you don't want that now, you're thinking about me, about what I want, you deserve a little star on your forehead for being so caring, a man and its needs, it's nothing compared to your needs, and I bet you needed someone to get you off correctly.

"You're mine... I want you to say it" I promised to you since the beginning, I won't stop until you're mine, "Are you mine?" I look at you with my big eyes full of hope for you to say it, please tell me now.

"I'm yours Alex" My lips taste your mouth, your tongue dancing with mine. You're made of the sweetest poison

God, I remember that time I was watching through your window, that night you were laying down on your settee, your hand was vigorously and shamelessly rubbing your clit in circles, fucking your little cunt with two fingers, rocking yourself into your touch with the desperate need to rub yourself against something hard, just like you were rubbing yourself against me hard cock. You keep squeezing my balls, your hands sneak into my ass squeezing it gently to keep me going, you love having me right at the edge of ending it all, I can't keep it up for another moment anymore, you're big stary eyes, your little sparkles, your touches, the smell, the noises, you're begging for me cum, I slam my fist next to your head, dragging your body up as I push myself deep inside you and coat your walls in me creamy cum, you're pure bliss as I feel us both coming together, a gorgeous after bliss surrounding us, you have this certain smell, a certain heat, and you're just so beautiful with your cheeks flushed like that.

"Let me clean you up, it's me mess, just lay down" You nod your head, laying gently on your broken bed to not let it crash completely into the ground, you point your finger telling me where the toilet is, and I rush there to grab a few paper towels and clean your skin softly, soothingly, I can feel you relaxing, I can smell my body in yours, the smell of my cologne, your almond oil, and your pheromones. And when I'm done you grab my hand and I can see you thanking me for even that tiny gesture, that's nothing you should be thanking me for, that's the least.

"Now the question is... where are we going to sleep?" We? You want me to sleep here, with you? You're not quicking me out, or at least not yet, this is my chance and I would be lying if I didn't say I was the luckiest man alive.

"Maybe the settee would be a nice place" Your gorgeous olive green settee, corduroy, soft, and marked, I can see you smiling at the space in between your two cushions, I see your giant ivory bookshelf, another mark. I lean forward to pick up what I had dropped when we assaulted the shelf, but it wasn't one of the thousands of vinyl records you've got organized by letter, it's a case... a guitar case. I didn't know that about you. Tonight made me realize that you're a hat full of surprises, the deeper I search the more I find.

"Want some food?... I've got some nuggets and fries... and-" You close your fridge and turn to look at me, "Oh, you know how to play?" I nod my head, trying to stay as noble and humble, you smack your hand into your forehead, "Of course, you do," You sigh and I can hear you whispering to yourself, "Stupid question"

"And do you?" You hum as a yes, interesting, I bet you do, but why do you hide your guitar like that? As if it was buried in this beautiful world with music, colors, words, and meanings.

"I did..." You turn on your air frier and toss some nuggets and fries in there, I'm so happy that you're not like one of those crazy keto girls, you pour us some fresh orange juice as you keep talking to me, "But you know, my mom always told me 'that's just a hobby', and when I moved here I hoped to find some people that wanted to share this fire to try to make some music... but I never managed to, and then I just gave up"

"That's a bit sad, love... you shouldn't have" You lean over the kitchen countertop, amazing reminder, I see you smiling over the edge of your shoulder, but you turn to look at me as you pick up some of our clothes, and then you run into my shirt and you decided to wear it as your sex shirt, you look beautiful, "I mean, being a music producer and making it was hard, but it was even harder to follow something I'm not passionate about" That's what's wrong, you didn't follow your passion, that's what you're missing, "Have you got any songs?" Your face lights up but it quickly slips away, and the redness crawls into your face, What? I'm trying to help you, I want you to be happy with me and with your life.

"I can't accept that" You quickly answered, your head said no but I know you want this, it's served on a silver platter, why can't you let your reserved self accept this?

"Accept what? I haven't said anything, I just asked if you could sing for me... I know you have a lovely voice" You laugh sarcastically at me, leaning over to fetch your guitar, and searching for a notebook on your vinyl shelf.

You sit next to me, legs crossed, guitar on your lap, naked with just my shirt on, your knees holding your notebook as you search for the perfect page for me, you make sure that your guitar is tuned before you start and your thumb softly strums down the notes, making a lovely rhythm, and only two chords, C and Em, your voice sounds like a million angels, and I feel like a lost man after serving the purgatory, your voice is so hauntingly beautiful, your lyrics are very forward, and I'm happy to know through your lyrics how truly you feel about things, you don't search for big words you choose the right ones, you're bold, and you're wise, you try to put an end to your complicated feelings, your questions, everything, all in one song with a few strums and two simple chords.

"That's all," You say putting your guitar next to you, I'm blown away, "I know I suck"

"No!" I answer immediately, "You don't... I think it's beautiful"

"You're just saying that because..." No, I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you, no not at all, don't you ever believe that.

"I'm saying that because I think you've got it, and you don't want to quit everything to live your dream, I know it must be difficult... but I'm being truthful, you've got summat and we can work on it" Why do you keep saying no with your head? Stop that, if I could rip it off right now... no, don't think that, "Come on, I'm not takin' a piss" You break into laughter with me, throwing your head back, you jump up the moment your oven dings and you run to flip the nuggets and the fries, putting 10 more minutes into the oven.

"Takin' a piss" You laugh to yourself, "Well, if you're not takin' a piss" You imitate my accent and it sounds so silly when you try to do it, "I'm not accepting your help Alex, you have your own thing, and if I'm going to do this, I have to do it on my own," Perfect, I'll take that.

"Why don't you go to Panda's next Saturday? They're looking for some people to play some music, any style, any theme, you can do whatever you want... I'm sure everyone will love you, and you know, there's always someone on the hunt for summat fresh!" I see you thinking about it, I'm not saying I'll help you, I'm just offering the start of something great for you, this is it for you. And yes, I am going to get you the best deal you could ever imagine, but first I have to run things through your notebook, I secretly hide your baby pink notebook, your initials written with a black sharpie, and I stash it in between the cushions.

"I'll think about it" I'll think about it. I hope you do go, I can't wait to see you singing for everyone, you will charm them, "Dinner is served me lord" You're also a dork, just like me, imagine all of the jokes we can make together, they'll be endless.

"My! Thank you, very kind" Dinousor nuggets with a side of fries, the melancholic feeling of your childhood must be present every single day, you squeeze some Ketchup into my plate, squirting into my chest.

"Whoops! Let me clean that for you" You lean in, sticking out your tongue to lick off the ketchup from my chest, "Eat up!" I'm in love with you, "And then we'll get on with that" You look down, and I do the same, shite, look what you do to me, you make me get so hard like a little boy hitting puberty.

"Bugger" I whisper under my breath, you heard it since you giggled, "You know, I think the food can wait right?" You push your plate away and you immediately crawl on top of me, kissing my lips so tenderly, caressing my chin with your fingers, and enjoying the texture of the little hairs that are growing on me cheeks.

"Mmm ketchup" You laugh into the kiss, and our teeth collide accidentally, and us by casualty, "You taste yummy"

"Imagine yourself" You blush hard, something tells me no one has ever made you feel that good about yourself, and that's because no one will see you with the same eyes as me, you're my girl, you will be, I try to flip you but instead you stop me, have I done something wrong?

"We're not going to break this couch, I love this fucking couch, you understand that?" You firmly said, your eyes threatening to kill me if I do as such, "I'm on top" I squeeze your ass tightly biting my bottom lip.

"Whatever she wants... but if I broke the bed it's 90% your fault," You scoffed and laughed as I peeled my shirt from your body gently, making sure I don't break more buttons so you could keep it, "Because you feel so good, and maybe you could be on top, but I know sooner or later... you'll be the one giving into me" Quite intense, wasn't I? Fuck!

"But for now, it's me who calls the shots, so if we break this... it will be 98% your fault, how do you like me now, smarty?" You secure your arms around my shoulder, I pull you in, chest on chest, as I give myself a few more strokes before you slowly slide down my cock, moaning so gently, I like feeling every part of you, I can see how your body twists and shivers when I hit that sweet spot.

"How do you like that?" I rub it in your face, how good I'm making you feel, "I guess one round just wasn't quite enough for you," You start humping on my cock slowly, you're just teasing me again, but I enjoy feeling your body move against mine, your little cries and moans, everything piles up in me, I know this time I'll enjoy you, picture you going in slow motion, I can feel your rapid heartbeat, I can feel the heat wave that raises and wrap us in, I can feel your body begging to mine to stay as close as possible, because that's what your body and my body want, we smile, we laugh, and I fall deeper in a hole full of love for you, and I'm no donkey to use the dirt to get out, I rather stay buried deep inside you just like now. Your body is tired, it's been two hours since your legs worked for the last time, and you beg for more into my ear.

"You're so good, I-I don't understand" What don't you understand, babe? Your fingers intertwine in the back of my head, as you writhe your hips to mine, our bodies dancing together so wonderfully, your hips move in circles against mine.

"Neither of those assholes could ever come close to me, I'm a real man..."

"And you've got the size" You flirt with me so shamelessly, your walls keep dragging me in, your head falls into my shoulder, you're giving into me, fading into me, and it's me time now, I finally get to give you what I wanted since the beginning, make sweet and honest love to you, my hands on your thighs I keep driving your body against mine, I gently bounce you on me lap just to get you to stay up again, you're eyes are shutting, your mouth is falling open again.

"Look at me" I order, and you do what I tell you to do, you look at me towards your end, I hope you can read it in my eyes, I hope you can feel how warm the flesh is, how my eyes, my brain, and heart have no space for anyone else but you, how mad you've made me, I'm obsessed, and I'm not going to lie to myself about it anymore, I don't want to just use you, I hope you can see that, but if you can't, I hope this is enough for you to understand it, my eyes big and dilated for you, my body feels so stiff, it's overwhelming, "You're so beautiful, love"

"If you keep calling me that, you're gonna make me fall in love, Alex"

So I'll say it every single day for the rest of my life, you feel so good on me, your body fits into mine so perfectly, and I'm so close, and so are you, the flesh is tender, the flowers bloom, the sun rises and it's heat rains all over the world, and you and I bond together for one last time before your body crashes into mine, I make a mess, but that's a bit on purpose, "Ah, yes" You sigh into my ear as you let it rest on top of mine. I have the chance to clean your body once more, to clean you up with care and love, my touch is so gentle your body fills with goosebumps, "You really don't have to Alex" You put your hand on my hand, and I freeze, should I stop? Am I making you uncomfortable?

"Sorry... if I'm doing too much" Your eyebrows push together and before I can get away you drag me back by my wrist and smile at me. What do you think of me?

"No, I'm just..." You sigh, you're troubled by your thoughts, "Not used to the 'aftercare' part that's all, you know, sex for us girls... it's not like we see it in films, or read in books, maybe I don't have that magic to turn a beast into a prince, and... I just I dunno, I don't feel weird... you make me feel special, normally, they just leave" Are you... maybe falling for me?

I smile at you, my thumb grazes your cheek softly, "I'm a man, and I'm messy but I just don't like doing that there's an attraction, and if we have sex, unless you ask me to leave I'll leave" I put away the paper towels in the trash, and when I come back I find you waiting for me with my shirt on your body.

"Well, if that's the case" My heart pumps one thousand miles per hour, I feel I'm entering a trance, about to puke my intestines out if you ask me to leave, "You don't mind staying?"

Fuck yeah! "Not at all" I try to keep me cool but I just can't, my heart betraying as I lay down with you.

After we finally had the chance to close our eyes, the sun peeks through the curtains of your windows, the sky painted orange and ocean blue, you smile at me, and you get back up from our little love nest that was the settee, you're quick to find the vinyl with the song we were listening together, the song we kissed to, the perfect song to watch the sunrise.

"Come with me!" I've never heard you so excited before, you run to the kitchen and fetch my boxers from the ground, and I'm a bit troubled by the thought of me wearing my jeans with no underwear but I do nevertheless because I would kill to see you like that every single day.

I cover my body with my coat, and you grab my hand, we run out of your house, and we go through this tiny little white gate, into a garden covered in green chasmophyte, that's the place where the flowers bloom in little boxes of dirt, the perfect place to see the sun, the perfect place to hide, to dream in, it's wonderful, you pull out a chair for me in this old rusty table, you find place to put your music and we listen to Call It Fate Call It Karma as the sun rises from the horizon, I pull you to my lap, wrapping your legs around my arms and hum the song to your ear, the birds are chirping, and the sun warms us from the once oh so cold night.

"You're a lovely singer," You say to my ear, I was never one to watch sunrises, I haven't done that since I was 17, and now with my busy life, I finally get to taste this little piece of paradise that you've given me.

"Not as good as you, bunny" You kiss my nose with a big smile, and I take out from my jeans a box of cigarettes and my old zippo, you set on my smoke, and you love to play with my zippo as your hands run through my naked skin, you love playing with fire, don't you? I just hope someday, you don't get burned in the fire of my love.

A/N

Anon, I want to kiss you. You don't know for how long I've been trying to figure out how to write this chapter, I had to watch You again but it was totally worth it, so thank you!

[wonjnz]

drunk on (the thought of loving) you

₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.

₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore

₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!

i. the first shot

you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.

you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.

“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.

and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.

you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.

the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.

you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.

and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.

“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”

you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”

zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”

slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,

“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”

“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”

“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”

you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.

zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.

“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ‘liking your best friend’ thing.”

“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”

you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”

“he just doesn't love me that way.”

ii. the second shot

sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)

the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.

you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.

hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.

“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”

you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”

right, of course.

“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.

a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.

but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.

iii. the third shot

“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.

you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”

“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.

you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.

next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.

genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.

“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”

“you’re really not helping me here hao.”

“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.

before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”

you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”

“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.

you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.

“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”

“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”

iv. the fourth shot

god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.

hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.

but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?

the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.

“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.

“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.

the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.

as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.

“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.

“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”

you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.

you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.

hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.

god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.

the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.

but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.

and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.

you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—

v. the fifth shot

“you awake?”

shit.

quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”

as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.

it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.

so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.

and you did.

“i love you.”

you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.

“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.

a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.

in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.

as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.

[afsosville]

Shen Jiu, if he was actually a competent shizun

My HC for how Shen Jiu is like with kids without trauma/healed trauma and shit: Honestly with a person like Shen Jiu, I can only see his interactions with kids going one of two ways, him being so very fond of them, and ofc, how he's like in canon. Ok look, in the third book under Shen Jiu's character description, it said that Shen Jiu definitely had more reasons to relate to Luo Binghe than to hate him yet he still chose violence for some fucked up reason. So yes, I for one headcanon that when he's in a better place mentally, he would choose to be doting and fiercely protective. We've seen that he's capable of being like that with Ning Yingying (and Qiu Haitang), and it's not outwardly obvious, but we can see it with the way she behaves around Shen Yuan when she thinks that's still Shen Jiu. She definitely acts like a spoiled younger sister/daughter who looks up to her guardian and shows a great amount of trust in him. So just imagine if that was extended to all of his disciples.

No coz if he was spared enough kindness for him to actually want to do better, he would choose the first option and emphasize with LBH instead BECAUSE smn gave HIM a chance and emphasized with HIM. LBH and SJ are parallels, and so whatever happens to SJ, it would be reflected onto LBH.

I am dead. I am so dead. I'm bleeding out so fast and goddammit it HURTS- SJ and LBH's whole story hurts sm.

Anyways-

I kinda like to imagine that when Shen Jiu's heart settles on the fact that maybe, just maybe, bleeding on ppl who didn't cut him and taking his hurt out on LBH is a no good very bad idea, he's going to end up over compensating for his whole fucking childhood and the way he projects on him is completely flipped.

"I'm going to treat you the way I wanted to be treated and ur going to feel loved and safe do you hear me?!?"

"Yes shizun (*＾v＾*)"

Here's the thing, he may be fond of his disciples, but he is still shit at taking care of them. He was robbed of his own childhood, so he doesn't know what normal kids act like in the first place. And he has no idea what the typical stages of development are and he would totally underestimate how dumb kids who didn't grow up like him would be. So yeah, shit at babysitting but loves them anyhow, for the same reason he would hate them in canon. (They remind him too much of himself). Idk, him being bad with kids regardless of trauma is so funny to me.

That moment when it clicks for him that he may not hate them after all: "oh gods these brats actually like…me? Me? Fuck what the hell do I do?! This is why no one should trust me with kids Aghhhhh!! Still think they're brats tho :( but they're my brats >:) "

He'd be like Shifu from Kung Fu Panda as a shizun. He's strict, harsh as hell and shows no mercy when training, coz becoming a cultivator/martial artist is fucking hard and requires alot of discipline anyway. So he really is doing his best to make sure his disciples come out on top. Shen Jiu is a prideful person by nature, it's just that his disciples are his pride. He's always there for them when they need him, and he will make sure that none of his disciples will ever have to go through anything he has. He wants to be the reliable adult that his disciples seek out. (He will never let it be known that he seeks his disciples' approval and validation as much as they seek his.)

Really fucking specific but idgaf. My social teacher brought chocolate bars to class and gave them out one time. After a few moments she asked if everyone was enjoying themselves. After she heard us agree she went on a lesson about slave labour and the production of goods in underdeveloped countries. Shen Jiu. Would do this. Because he’s a madman.

And Binghe. He would still end up a little unhinged. Like sure being under a master that abuses you will fuck you up one way but if you had a guardian who will start genocides and watch cities burn for you… It does things.

Shen Jiu is morally ambiguous as fuck and that rubs off onto his disciples. He is still a terrible role model, but his kids wouldn't trade him for the world:)

Would be the type that gives 5 yr olds knives for birthdays, bc he had a shit ton of them hidden away on his person when he was that age and knew how to use them when he was on the streets.

“What? It's an appropriate gift! The kid needs to have smt to protect herself! Yeah I know she didn’t grow up on the streets so what? No need to rub it in. Ok fine! I’ll teach her then just shut up. Let’s go Yan-er, some people just don’t appreciate the value of giving practical gifts WAIT PUT THAT DOWN-”

Is this lowkey self indulgent? Yes. Do I particularly care? No. I just want my favourite blorbos to be happy, is that too much to ask for? My Roman Empire is that SJ probably could've been a crazy good shizun if he had a chance to heal. If you've read The Hidden Flower, then you know exactly what I mean.

I already made a post with all of the soft BingJiu fics ik. I could literally make another one rn where they're just chilling platonically, or even as an adoptive family bc I have no chill like that and read all the SJ fics there is to read.

It's already summer and all I have going for me is my job rn and I am sooooo close to going through all nearly 400 pages under the SJ tag coz I simply can.

[stardustbuck]

if bucktommy truly is going to be buck’s endgame, i genuinely think bvdd!e needs to stop being talked about by media and the cast. it was brought up so much this season because of how big the ship was and the because buck got a queer storyline. it gets clicks and views. i don’t think the cast talking about bvdd!e was meant to allude to it going canon but rather understanding why ppl shipped it and how they “see” how people definitely interpret it that way. we already saw some of the actors sort of

“backtracking” in a way like JLH saying “i dont think bvdd!e is happening guys” and ppl proceeded to get mad at her for it (ill never forgive yall for being so rude that beautiful women over a fucking ship)

if it does happen, it’s not because of shippers, it’s because that’s what tim minear and the writers want to do. ppl may think bucktommy isn’t big enough to survive cause bvdd!e reigns superior in terms of “numbers” but they’re forgetting this show is also written for GA in mind and it is VERY easy to tell when ppl are giving bad ratings/shitting on the show because they simply hate tommy.

the hate comments aren’t going to get them anywhere, in fact it’s probably ruining any chance they have at going canon in the future. first it was “7x04 was great cause we got bi buck but tommy is just a stepping stone and bvdd!e will be explicitly implied by the end of the season” then it was “eddie is going to be jealous seeing buck and tommy on a date” then it was “buck and eddie are gonna drunkenly kiss/hookup at the bachelor party” then it was “buck is gonna leave his date with tommy for eddie” and when none of those things happened it’s turned into “well obviously they can’t rush the story”

i truly think there’s no winning with them. it’s probably the worst case of ship-war i’ve seen in quite a while. just glad im a multishipper tbh, im still going to enjoy bvdd!e in my own time but ppl online have made it insufferably hard to interact with the content without some sort of toxic behavior. i’ve blocked so many accs i previously loved because they went from being neutral/uncaring of bucktommy to becoming downright vile about it.

in conclusion, it’s just sad seeing a ship you love so much turn sour for you. i still love it, but bt community is hands down much nicer and less toxic overall (idk bout twt but twt is crazy in every fandom) and ive never felt bad about liking bvdd!e as a bucktommy shipper. meanwhile ive literally seen ppl reblog bt posts saying “will never reblog on main cause my followers dickride bvdd!e” so…yeah.

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[sai-lec]

in defence of the f1 girlie ….

idk man i guess i just don’t like the whole ‘f1 girlie’ thing bc there’s been an uptick in interacts especially on tiktok where it feels so internally misogynistic and also degrading to new fans who don’t have as much experience or knowledge by creating a ‘valid’ f1 female fan experience. like ive seen a major uptick in videos particularly from male fans who think they’re doing us as women a service by saying ‘thanks to the REAL female f1 fans who KNOW what drs is and DONT think the drivers are hot we see u and we’re glad to have u’ . like i understand what you think you’re doing but why do we have to reinforce a threshold for what makes a good f1 watcher. my tradesman grandad who refuses to retire and works joinery at the age of 80 watches the grand prix he cannot explain to me what drs or downforce. the manliest of men don’t know what drs is.

the difference is that we are allowing men the privilege of being casual fans. with women even when we talk about them in a supportive manner we still reinforce the ideas that they HAVE to understand every single detail about car mechanics and production and racing in order to view them as Good fans or Real fans. we don’t give women the grace of causal fandom. we don’t allow women to just engage on a base level with media or entertainment especially in male dominated areas and we continue to reinforce the standards imposed upon us by creating the ‘us vs them’ of fans and belittling or shunning women with a lesser understanding or engagement with the sport.

as for the idea of only liking it because the guys look hot, who cares. who cares. i grew up with my dad watching f1 and yeah i watched SOME races growing up but i didn’t start watching it properly until last year and there’s 2 reasons for that. 1) i watched silverstone with him 2) i saw carlos sainz for the first time and NEEDED to find out who this man was immediately . these guys are all extremely attractive of COURSE ppl are going to look into them bc of how they look and for some people it will click. for some people they will follow him on instagram and maybe check in with a race or two every now and then and some ppl might just follow him on instagram and not care about the races bc that’s just what happens to hot ppl . does it actually matter at all if someone looks at charles leclerc and thinks he’s hot??? no bc they’re literally correct he is an attractive man and people will perceive him as such even if they find out that f1 maybe isn’t exciting for them. the fact that ppl find the drivers attractive is a natural given and it’s pointless to try and control how people engage with them subsequently bc ultimately it’s so trivial and who actually cares that much .

i know people are going to come in with ‘oh well but influencers’ and yes that’s obviously a different story. because likely these people are being paid to promote the event and se are routinely seeing people who are not familiar with the event enough to engage thoroughly with the target demographic being given these positions when there are thousands of f1 content creators who do the same job and deserve to be rewarded for their contributions to f1 spaces. so people like james charles and whatever her name was at monaco only find themselves engaging at the level of ‘hot driver’ because they accepted a position of marketing in a trending sporting event (important in widening their own viewer base to include us now) where they do not have the knowledge to engage with the current fan communities or encourage other people to engage fully with the sport

th f1 girlie on the other hand. the girl that is being torn apart by men and women alike on the effort to prove we’re not like other girls isn’t given the same chance as the man even still . she doesn’t get to engage with people through aesthetic attraction. she isn’t allowed to engage in casual hobbies and interests because she NEEDS to display an adequate knowledge of car production and f1 history i mean at that point we may as well have a female only f1 fan entrance exam

it honestly doesn’t fucking matter whether or not women do or do not know what drs is . it’s the problem that we are being asked to perform to a certain standard of engagement in order to even be respected in f1 fan spaces. i feel like a lot of people are just going ‘well i know what drs is so’ instead of questioning WHY women are expected to undertake research in order to validly watch a televised sporting event . let women know fuck all about understeer and still watch a gp bc she wants to. let women be casual fans again

[wishamongtheflowers]

Sound

Kido ran her eyes on every record of several victims for the upteenth time.

"Stray dogs!? You're telling me stray dogs are killing people!"

"I'm sorry that I can't exactly identify the bite marks or the teeth. For all I know it could be a person with unique teeth."

The sheriff could only sigh. Just his luck.

"First it's everyone who is incompetent to where I have to rely on a teenager, now this!" He could only shake his his.

"I'll keep working on all this. It's still the gray faze."

He groaned wondering out of his office, "I'm going to go get a drink."

Kido just looked at all the images and reports she chose to bring.

"Excuse me, Ms. Mukai, " Kido turned around to find a man in the doorway, "can I barrow you for just a minute."

The man's badge made it obvious to her. Future Foundation employee.

"It much be important given your badge. Don't see your rank around here much."

"Yeah we usually handle in foundation matters. I hope you don't mind."

A pull. Not any other pull dragged her. Divine Luck's own desire. It wants whatever offer he has.

"If it gets me away from work for a bit I'll obliged."

"Let's discuss this in a private area."

"Of course."

Kido held some papers as she walked out of the building. This isn't luck but chance. It's her luck which wants success. She's honest with herself. She wanted to have abundance.

"He said it's cause of the Ultimate Hope disappearance cause of Junko. From the way he was talking, I've been selected given my work. This better be worth it. It'll be the last piece of the puzzle for me."

"It will be worth it. You've been blessed with luck and a second chance in this world."

She noticed her mind seeped out of reality. She kept calm, unconcerned by what was going on.

"I wouldn't call being undead as a second chance. The divine luck isn't separate from me. It's also me, just like you."

"It is true your luck and I are you but," Kido felt some warmth sliding under her clothes, "you're a horseman. Ever sense you'd been my pet, you always fought. Even now I can tell you've gotten stronger."

"Could you please stop."

"Aw, I guess you don't want to be petted." The warmth left, thankfully.

"I'm wondering why you want to talk. You haven't appeared in some time."

"You know why. Soon he'll remember you as the Siren who taught him how to swim and the angel who set humanity free. You'll finally be rejoined with one of the original blessing."

"That..."

"Your wishes aren't his. He'll open his eyes just like you, for a second time. He'll know you as his. Don't deny it. I can tell you're morality isn't black or white anymore. Your undead but you still wish his love to return."

"Your right. I just want him to be happy. We thought this was the only way. We're both wrong. We'll have to make it right."

"Good pet. Now grow stronger than even I hope for."

It was all in her head. It wasn't a surprise as anyone would gain a mental illness if they gone through what she had. Being undead of course was an obvious cause of her warped mind. With her awareness of her illness she found a comfort in her delusional state. To have someone just there even if they're just an illusion ment a lot.

Kido didn't see a figure around so she can assume her delusional state has lessed to normalcy. A click echoed through her sanctuary's still veins. The last part came by chance over the mouths of stillness.

"Proxy should be here in an hour or so. I'll get started setting some things up." Kido's footsteps ran ahead of her.

A part of her knew something would happen either way. All she can do is wish for the best outcome.

---------------------[Tags]-----------------------

@after-neo-world and anyone else cause idk

:3

[nemoys]

a very long messy review of link click (season 2)

alright so reading through a bunch of (mostly negative) reviews of the season thus far i've come to my own conclusions over how this season felt, and i really feel like addressing them since i personally feel like it deserves recognition (and rightful criticism) within certain aspects. really interested in everyone's takes so lmk whatever you think about all these aspects i'm about to gloss over.

NOTE ; i'm not going to be talking about the art direction or OSTs . i believe those have been nothing short of phenomenal and i feel like we can all universally agree over that

1) tonal shift : from a more emotionally driven s1, coupled with sprinkles of slice of life moments, we turn to a mostly thriller/mystery plot line. personally, i've always seen this coming. the tonal shift really didn't take me by surprise. with the lg stabbing at the end of season 1 it almost seemed inevitable that the more light hearted aspects of the first season weren't going to happen. more importantly, it was very clear that there was always a higher presence to fight. link click was always meant to be a thriller, this was always the plan, and so i suppose logically i assumed the second season would follow that path. i understand how people might've felt disappointed, or 'robbed', but i don't think the shift was all that shocking quite honestly, it was always set up. link click was never light hearted, even at s1.

the more shocking shift has to be the shift from an emotional, to suspenseful change in writing. the emotional writing in link click has always been the best part of the show and that hasn't changed, the emotionally driven plot lines of s2 (chen bin, ltc/ltx) have been written very well. the suspenseful writing also works. replaces the tear jerkers with an unsettling anxiety, and it's executed relatively well. you can clearly tell that the crew's been experimenting quite a lot with this season, and yes, that's usually what season 2 is for.

2) pacing : now i totally get the criticism in this aspect. in my opinion, the weakest part of s2's been the pacing. with overly drawn out fight scenes, and unnecessarily long recaps, i think the issue has to do with the fact that lc just has a LOT to address, and so it makes us feel less inclined to sit through longer scenes that don't directly advance the plot.

obviously i get that the fight scenes show off a lot of the animation budget #tm and they do look great but the fact that we had way too much time dedicated to a five minute long fighting cutscene in the FIRST episode just made me feel impatient.

3) red herring endings: alright this might be an unorthodox opinion but, aren't red herring cliff hangers a norm in general with these kinds of shows lol. idk i've come to expect the total opposite every time so it doesn't really bother me i guess i'm just used to the medium. not really a lc problem it's a story telling problem in general but that's just marketing i don't know what else to say.

it'd be nice if they followed through but some part of me thinks they're pulling a whole boy who cried wolf situation, eventually they'll pull the trigger when we don't really expect it.

4) shipping/ main trio reconciliations : it's a really serious ongoing situation. i kind of get why the main trio/shiguang don't get a chance to talk things over amongst themselves, it just isn't the time. keep in mind everything that's happening rn is happening continuously, there are no gaps within the days or anything, kind of makes sense that they don't really talk about it. they probably will get to once it's all over, which might be well into s3. again, this was always meant to be a thriller more than it was trio focused. also idk about you guys but i think we actually did get a lot of sweet moments within the trio, cxs and lg, even the sibling dynamic with ql and cxs were really lovely this season.

5) the women: okay i REALLY don't understand the problem here. the women are written well. ql is written FANTASTICALLY and all side characters like ltx and that one red eyed lady i'm forgetting the name of were great too. hell even chen bin's wife was great. i think for a donghua/anime where women are usually given dirt in terms of actually strong writing, lc has always been very solid. their lives do not revolve around the men in the show it just happens to be that men are a part of their lives. they have very distinct personalities and aren't treated like weird objects to gaze at (what a bar lol) but yes i do think the women are written quite dimensionally.

6) unanswered questions : when have linear shows ever answered questions (especially mc based) in season 2?? when has season 2 EVER tied loose ends? when it comes to linear television, season 2's purpose almost always build towards a greater evil/climax. there's a reason why season 2 hasn't answered questions we've had, season 2s in most shows rarely ever do. from what i can tell, with a confirmed s3, i've always expected s2 to simply do its job as a second season and further raise stakes and raise even more questions. i do get the frustration, i get the lack of any backstory, but i want to refrain from making any actual comments over that till every episode's aired ahah, however, im not too mad at it. i just think this show's ride is currently still at an increasing accelerated pace (guys i'm sorry i study physics), things will only be explained once we've once hit the climactic point or go downhill right after. time will tell i guess

Conclusion

overall, i think this season was actually pretty solid. s1 set a very unrealistically high bar, as s1 in my opinion is one of the best seasons in television period. but s2 and s1 shouldn't be compared in the same way, their tone is quite different, and needs to be analysed individually instead. i'll make a complete review once the season is over, but honestly i've come to enjoy the season most when i stop expecting too much out of it. i think people had way too many things they've expected from s2, that were bound to simply never happen.

that said, i do hope the crew takes the valid criticism regarding the pacing (and ig the character focus?) into consideration and implements it well into s3. it's worth noting that i believe nothing was meant to be complete with s2 in the first place.

i've really enjoyed this season, and i'm beyond ecstatic to rewatch it all once it's done airing, in order to properly take it all in. it's had its flaws, more than s1 has had (let's be real s1 had little to none). but that's bound to happen to shows when they head down their linear routes. currently sitting at a 7/10

[miyamiwu]

Not so much a theory but just me trying to make sense of everything that's happened so far. This will be a stream-of-consciousness dump.

LINK CLICK S2E8 SPOILERS!!!

------------

So remember how, in season 1, when CXS changed something in the past, it would later reflect in their present? In the kidnapped child case, kid!CXS and adult!CXS had appeared at the same time. In the Xu Shanshan case, the gang received a mysterious call, which turned out to be because an alt!CXS had issued a challenged to red-eyes in the past.

So with that in mind, we can just focus on one timeline—the one being shown to us. Any changes made in alternate timelines would reflect in the present that the audience sees.

Our current present is LG saving CXS from being kidnapped, resulting in him taking his place.

Qiao Ling had hypothesized that maybe that wasn't Lu Guang but an alt-timeline!CXS because LG seemed more physically strong.

For this hypothesis to be true, CXS has to dive into the past as Lu Guang and rescue the past!CXS in one go. (A photo can only be used once.)

The chances of this going correctly is slim. Without Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi has no idea what's gonna happen while in the dive. He didn't even know what object Lu Guang used to break the window (it was definitely not the kettle!). Also, does he even know where to find a speedboat? How about driving one? And if you had looked closely in the LG and LTC fight, you can see that LG was always trying to avoid being touched by LTC. That means he already knows how his ability is activated. On the off-chance CXS manages to reach past!CXS on time, it will all be for naught anyway coz he won't able to defend against LTC.

That's why I think Qiao Ling is wrong. It was never an alt!LG. It was the real Lu Guang all along.

As for how to explain his improved physical state... well, that's something I don't have an answer yet for. I do believe in the alt-timeline/future Lu Guang theories, though. If LG is from the future, maybe he's had some time to train.

Another theory of mine is that LG didn't actually suddenly got better at martial arts. He just knew how Li Tianchen would move, so he was able to defend against him. (Maybe LG can see the future).

Or maybe Lu Guang had relived this rescue many times and only now did he finally get it right. (Time loop maybe?)

As for him being able to resist the pain of his injury... idk man, adrenaline, I guess? Love can make you desperate lol.

Anyways, writing-wise, it's so easy to just dump everything on Lu Guang coz he's still shrouded in mystery. He's always seemed like he knows a lot about their abilities, and who knows what the true extent of his abilities is.

If Cheng Xiaoshi can't do the rescue right in one go, then how are they gonna explain him diving a second time?

Also, I find it hard to believe that CXS would want to endanger Lu Guang many times while he's acting as him. If he just doesn't dive, won't Lu Guang be saved?

What's sus here is the photo LG left. Did he know CXS can open his phone, or was that a save point he had actually left for himself in case he fails to save CXS?

But why would he not bring his phone? Was he afraid the enemy would get ahold of it?

But without his phone, and by extension, the photo, how can he go back in time?

Maybe his time-travel ability doesn't require a photo? (LTC definitely didn't have a photo when he was controlling WJ and CXS. His ability was just activated by touch)

Come to think of it, CXS's ability is also activated by touch (clapping). What about Lu Guang? Maybe he has a touch-based ability, too. After all, they can have more than one abilities.

LG can see what happens in a photo, and thru CXS diving, he can also record it. If it's a CCTV, he can hijack it and make it his eyes.

LTC can possess someone directly, but he can also just bewitch them through touch.

CXS can go back in time, and he can also possess people

I have no idea where I'm going here... Still confused as ever

[shiftingwithalexismarie]

i hear you have a percy Jackson dr

you should info dump it

OKAY WAIT IGNORE MY INSANE MC SYNDROME - also all the brackets😬

info dump under the cut cause it's long

So like, im jason's twin sister (this happened cause my Cr birthday is literally a day after his [also cause i had already chosen grace as a last name before remembering]‼️🔥) (he's aged up to be the same age as percy) but like instead of going to camp jupiter i get adopted by someone in new york (amelia thatcher !! scripted in btw)

but like when i'm 6 thalia leaves our bio mom and she comes to find me, then we find annabeth and luke and make it to camp like how the story goes

i stay at camp year round with luke and annabeth cause they're like my siblings (i literally love annabeth so much.)

i didn't end up getting claimed when we made it to camp, on the way thalia just explained we had the same mother not father cause idk guys it's just the story ‼️🔥 so i go unclaimed and stay in cabin 11

i also help tour almost all the new kids (i scripted im the nicest person at camp 😕)

anyways, that's like the backstory, uhm the day it'll be for me like on my first shift is the day percy gets there cause my entire world revolves around him guys 😭⁉️

first day:

so it's like i scripted i had a panic attack or something the night before (guys i have panic attacks here too pls do NOT flame me for this one) so i wake up in a medic room alone cause i do NOT wanna be surrounded by all the campers. guys pls dont flame me im so scared i dont like hate 😭🙏🙏

so anyways, i kinda meet percy, annabeth tells me about him cause she's been helping out (oh btw im dating percy, percabeth has no chemistry im sorry gang pls don't flame me) so like i go back to cabin 11 and hangout with my hermes' pals. then like eventually chiron brings percy to cabin 11, and luke calls me over to help tour him and percy and i click instantly! anyways we hangout over the next few days

capture the flag eventually happens, (guys don't flame me i take a lot of annabeths storylines pleasseee don't flame me i get it enough) so like percy gets claimed [ALSO I SCRIPTED IM LIKE AMAZING AT TELLING GODLY PARENTS SO I SUSPECTED IT FROM THE START THAT HE WAS POSEIDONS KID - also cause the bathroom stunt guys] and then I GET CLAIMED ⁉️⁉️ (main character syndrome sorry)

anyways also me percy annabeth and grover go on the quest and yeah

i'm not gonna get into future stuff cause it's long. but i have a lot of things added in too (like people) that don't influence the plot, but like, it's a very confusing dr 🙈

on the off chance anyone has any questions lmk gang🙏🙏‼️

[bunny-j3st3r]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited for, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone else who makes you smile💕

4 things I'm excited for

1 - Sonic 3 movie coming out huhehe :} 2 - Events I have planned my server 3 - A chihuaha event I'm going to in Nov 4 - Finshing this damn art :')

three people uhh

@reboothill I met them a few years ago, I was kinda in a weird mental health space at the time and because of a lot of past issues I had A LOT of issues with communicating. I had also went through nearly an entire year of not talking to anyone, I was just extremly depressed constantly and felt I wasn't good enough for anyone and just wanted to push people away but they reached out to me and after talking we sparked our friendship again and I feel I've grown closer to them in everyway. I love them so much as my best friend I have but also like a sibling and I know I can be difficult but I seriously value there patients and friendship.

@kenjirose I only really met Rose this year and it was just by chance and in a pretty funny way how we met. We at first weren't very close, we just knew eachother and talked to eachother. It was by chance of me asking if they'd like to make a server with me that our friendship kinda bloomed from there. Rose has had to put up a lot from me. I didn't really talk to a lot of people so I had communication issues but Rose stayed patient with me even through very increadbly rough times. I know I feel I can go to Rose for a lot of stuff and I hope in ways they feel the same. I hope things get better for you Rose and I hope we can have more years talking to eachother.

@cconcerned Is another person I only met this year and we clicked with eachother straight away but due to certain circumstances the two of us never really bonded in the first few months. We liked the same things, we have the same humour and they are just an extremly friendly person. Idk if what happened was a blessing or a curse but due to it I feel like I've gotten closer to them and I would break kneecaps for them. I hope your future goes well dude like you really deserve the fucking world at this point

[puckpocketed]

Hey 👋 do you have any thoughts on the Zegras trade rumours?? Ngl there a part of me that wants him traded to a team that would treat him better!!

come back with a warrant etc etc.

no seriously what is this lmaoooo are there no other ducks blogs to harass with questions…. 😭 godbles. thanks for thinking of me <3 don't know if you'll like this answer.

I don’t think he is untouchable at this point, and I don’t mind that. I do get the attachment and protectiveness some fans might feel over him i suppose! Like i wasn’t there for it but he was thee face of the franchise for a while there. I simply don’t have that same attachment. For me he’s just a guy who is fun to watch, and I’d watch him play on whatever team he’s on! I do genuinely get excited to see him play setup-man — even if Frankie the Volume Shooter Vatrano can’t finish on the EASIEST chances ever!! <3 Z at this point is looking like….not a franchise-altering star in the same vein as Leo Carlsson. Look me in the eye and say you’d build around Z over Carlsson. I wouldn’t. I don’t think any GM would. Makes sense he’s not as much of a lock for the future as he was maybe 2 years ago when he was literally their best prospect. the ducks have a better prospect pool and a guy who can actually be The Guy. Why wouldn’t z’s place be a bit less secure?

I still don’t think it happens. Regarding the rumours, at first I firmly believed they were complete fabrications that came out of the drysdale trade (silly spec articles were fun but had no substance to them) and lately I’ve interpreted the endless noise as 1) click bait during off-season, and 2) teams probably are at least asking and it's because the center market is so thin — we all saw the egregious contracts that were handed out at the start of free agency. He is cheap, young, is a proven NHLer w/ two 60+ point seasons under his belt, and every other center is locked down or very very expensive, and teams are likely scrambling. Idk… what GM worth anything would hang up the phone in this situation? I’m sure PV is listening, as is his JOB, I just don’t think they’re as desperate to offload zegras as everyone keeps saying. We know Z wasn’t actively being shopped at the deadline. PV himself said he wanted Z playing with them as of the ducks migration event in March (albeit, on the wing).

i think even if they really wanted to be rid of him, it would be really stupid of them to trade him for anything less than a 1:1 NHL-ready player. They need warm bodies who are actually NHL caliber. They want to come out of rebuild, they’ve said this coming season they want to compete, so more picks are useless. PV is looking for a RHD and/or top 6 winger, they emphasised how much they needed finishing because of how many 1 goal games they played last season, so he’d probably want someone like that back if he’s smart. And given zegras is currently at his lowest trade value coming off a season of injury + poor production, I really hesitate to say anyone would pay that price. For more complex trade analysis I think you’ll have to go elsewhere, I can’t speak in more detail about what the market looks like for teams in the east, who wants to move bodies and who really needs what Z brings. It’s a circular problem… I don’t think it happens unless the return is big, and the return probably won’t be big because he was injured and wasn’t playing too well because he hadn’t recovered fully when he was back. There’s wiggle room for a GM to do something horrendously stupid and give away the farm for him or for PV to sell him off for nothing… but I’m doubtful.

can’t agree with you on wanting Z out. Not gonna dig into the ‘theyre killing his whimsy’ idea other than to say i dont think it’s that deep, I’m not in his head, and body language reading is a pseudoscience. don't think the ducks are evil or that they're, idk, harming or ‘ruining’ him by making him do stuff like uhhh play more defensively responsible and sitting him for dumb penalties (be serious w me here… Unless you’re a truly gifted goal scorer who puts up insane points + have the perfect linemates to make up for your deficiencies, seems to me like everyone has to learn to play a little on the other side of the puck eventually) and I tortured myself by actually watching ducks games UNLIKE some of the nhl media who claim they know whats up so i feel like i can somewhat speak to this… zegras is a talented but flawed player who hasn’t learned to keep his cool and costs the team precious minutes of his ice time in the penalty box. his stupid penalties were disastrous for game momentum. I don’t particularly agree w the way his short leash was handled by Cronin; the benchings were certainly deserved, but the optics were handled poorly. However, given that they get along quite well (reportage from people who actually witness them interacting) and Cronin uses every opportunity to praise Z for his work ethic and intelligence (actual articles and interviews that are direct quotes and not speculation) I’m more willing to chalk it up to cronin’s growing pains as a first-time NHL coach. There seems to be this weird idea around the league that they’re at odds that I’ve heard on podcasts and in desk segments speculating on trade rumours and i am begging them to actually pay attention to what is being said. God. Anyway.

On the flipside… he IS a driver of offence. The team just looks different when he’s playing vs when he’s out. They don’t have players who can do what he does. I want to believe that he is a highly valued member of the team purely based on how much he does for the team when he’s in. Is that too vibe check-y of a take? I swear there are stats and gameplay to back this up LMAO. Sorry to get overly sincere but… deep, deep down i just think he’s a special player. I knew fuck all about his personality when he first caught my eye. All i got was that he’s so, so fun to watch. Not for his individual highlight reel play necessarily (though that’s also fun), but as someone who manipulates defenders, as someone who has immaculate hands in tight spaces, his uncanny vision — for what he can do as a passing threat, the way he somehow always knows how to place a pass where it finds a linemate’s tape. And now he’s working to use that hockey brain and those fancy hands to defend, I just think that’s really cool. I believe in him. Barring catastrophe, I think he’s going to be so good. The way media paint him as one-dimensional/flashy but then turn around and say he’s a prime trade target for teams in need of a top 6 forward is insane to me. Which is it? Makes me a bit sad people aren’t giving Z credit for trying to learn + grow his game lmao (and uh a little insulted on his behalf i wont lie!!). Idk. Maybe I’m being too optimistic. I truly don’t care anymore. The rumours are just noise to me at this point, I’ve put enough thought into them to last a lifetime and I don’t have control over what happens in the end. No matter what, I just want him to do well <3