#also ofc being gay and having straight friends when i was younger

[francisforever2014]

i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me

[grxcisxhy-wp]

𝖼.𝗁. | 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇

back to masterlist

pairing ; calum hood x bi!5sos!reader (MAIN), mention of previous harry styles x bi!5sos!reader, mention of unrequited/pining ashton irwin x bi!5sos!reader

summary ; Prequel ish headcannon of bi!5sos!reader based on this blurb

warnings ! my humor (so bad)

word count ; ~700

a/n ; guys, this is probably so bad, but bare with me. also, so sorry to anyone who is straight, but being bi is going to be part of the story later

I’m forcing you to be Australian, deal with it

When you were younger (about 11 years old) you moved into Calum’s neighborhood right across the street from him

And you know, puberty be hitting hard, so this man instantly gets a crush (cause you’re beautiful duh) and befriends you

But of course, he doesn’t say anything (for another few years)

You guys are each other’s closest friends, and you end up being each other’s first kiss (a classic)

The two of you will just play music together on the weekends or after Cal’s soccer practice

You play piano and guitar (and sing but we’ll get into that later)

The two of you meet Luke and Michael when you go into high school and you guys form the beginnings of 5sos

Luke and Michael quickly begin to feel like brothers to you

Then Michael Facebook messages Ashton

When you meet Ashton, you are a complete MESS

Like stuttering like an idiot because his humor just tugs at your heart strings and you’re crushing HARD

You tell Calum about it, obliviously hurting his feelings

poor fetus Calum :’(

but he still supports you

eventually your puppy love with ash goes away and you meet someone

someone that’s a GiRl (yes, you’re bi curious and we’re living for it)

you’re all confused that you feel this way about a girl and questioning your sexuality (as most do in high school)

nothing happens with the girl (nothing ever does… I’m not crying you are)

but you do confide in Calum that you find girls attractive

poor Calum is thinking you're gay, but you reassure him that you do still in fact find guys attractive too

Calum is super supportive and eventually convinces you to tell the rest of your band mates

they’re all supportive too

someone definitely makes a joke like “I don’t blame you. Girls are hot”

would probably be ash or Mikey

we love a good coming out story

anywayyyyy

you and the boys are making youtube covers and becoming quite popular

then the one direction tours

you practically melt when you meet Zayn and Harry (at least I would)

during the tours your management and 1d’s management decide to do a pr stunt with you and harry of a will they won’t they situation

ngl you and harry did hook up a few times after you turned 18 (sorry to those of you who do not like harry styles, which should be none of you)

calum is pretty much over his crush on you by the time the first album comes out (at least that’s what he says)

fans of the band kind of speculate that you might be bi when you sing lyrics like “you’re like the perfect mixture of megan fox and katy p” (greenlight underrated bop imo)

ofc the question comes up in interviews but you and the boys dodge ‘em like ninjas

you came out to the world on your terms during sounds live feels live tour

and this is frat 5sos era so just like them you’re pulling the ladies AND the gentlemen

you’re more discreet abt it tho cause we know how the media be about women who have multiple partners (the media is disgusting)

then there’s the hiatus

during this time, you get back to writing pieces with piano aka you’re the genius behind ghost of you and lie to me’s piano melody

during the writing process of youngblood is also when you and calum start becoming more than friends

you write why won’t you love me about him cause you’re oblivious that he likes you too

you show a demo of wwylm to luke (who is almost as close to you as calum now) and he convinces you to play it for the rest of band and put it on the album

this leads to feelings being confessed and you and calum end up together

you and calum date for about a year and a half before the unfortunate when will you be back blurb comes into play

and then you’re a mess, which is where I’ll be starting this series(??)

so yeah, lmk what moments you want to see like interviews and just relationship things and I’ll do my best to write them well

[akanewcrld]

byler hcs!!

notes: im already tired of my new theme but anyways- i love byler so here’s some fluff hcs about them

will has one of those subtle pride bracelets twinsies

this is the one im specifically thinking about because i have it lmao

before either of them were dating or out to each other mike saw his bracelet 

he saw the rainbow and was like ?? could he be.. omg 

had a full on gay panic 

he decided he was reading into it too much and didnt bring it up 

as soon as will came out to him he remembered it tho 

will lowkey freaked out and was like has anyone else picked up on it??

none of the others did 

that was until max got the same bracelet

she thought the bracelet she had looked familiar so she looked at all of the jewelry her friends were wearing 

she didnt say anything to will when she saw he was wearing it but she told eleven 

somehow everyone in the group found out 

so when mike and will slipped up to the group about being together they were like “wow what a surprise” 

it was mainly the obvious mutual pining tho 

like when eddie figured out they werent dating yet he was genuinely confused 

“they’re.. not together? what??” 

when they were younger will sometimes would wear mike’s sweatshirts and it made mike so happy 

because of will being in a smaller size than him mike cant wear wills clothes 

it doesnt upset mike but he wishes he could wear them

he makes a joke about it one time while theyre together 

after that will bought a few clothes that were a little oversized on him in hopes mike would wear them 

mike was really happy and ofc he wore them

as they got older they didnt do it as much anymore until they started dating 

at this point theyre around the same size but will likes the looks of oversized shirts sometimes 

so its almost the same as when they were kids 

will likes to lie on mikes shoulder 

the first time he did it mike freezed

he started internally freaking out and couldnt think straight obviously 

it showed on his face too 

will saw this and backed off 

“i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, im sorry-“ 

mike interrupted him “wait, no. i..” 

he just pulled will back onto his shoulder 

neither of them said anything at all 

they both fell asleep like that

it became a habit of theirs and continued when they were older 

because its totally not gay to snuggle with your friend while blushing 

they usually only did it when they were alone tho 

mike big spoon, will little spoon 

no i will not elaborate 

will realized his feeling a while before mike did but mike confessed first 

he kissed will on impulse and then ran away 

after that he properly confessed to him and they started dating 

okay so you’ve seen the hc will likes to play with mikes hair 

he’ll also put it up in a ponytail sometimes 

mike hates putting his hair up but he’ll let will do it because he loves him 

will swears it looks good but mike says he will never go in public with it up 

both of them have a tiny crush on eddie 

its not that they would actually want to date him, they just find him very attractive 

theyve both admitted it to each other and tease each other about it 

[attollogame]

All this love for DW and Sysba, and I mean rightfully so theyre wonderfully complicated characters, but... im kinda gay... may we have some random facts about Vasilisia? Maybe Suha too if you're feeling generous? Spicy or not spicy, I'll leave that to your discretion

Bro I’m...def not straight either so ofc I can give you these <3 slightly spicy for some 

Vasilisia

One of the spiciest things I can give you about our heart and soul Vasilisia Soloveva is that she is incredibly giving. If you wanted to be doted on and spoiled and made to feel like you own the world (god don’t we wish), she’s your partner

Speaking of, aftercare with Vasilisia? You’ll never be able to step into a spa again. It just won’t live up to your newfound standards. 

Probably one of the more family-oriented people in Attollo? She really cares for the younger generations and they’re one of her biggest motivators in trying to improve Attollo

Despite her ability to handle seeing a lot of shit thanks to her career, she struggles from time to time in distancing herself from a situation. In most police-oriented careers they tell you to perceive people as objects to prevent becoming too attached or affected at scenes, but this is one thing Vasilisia struggles to do

She did dance as a child, and she loved it! Jazz was one of her favorite types of dance, although she did take ballet lessons for a while 

She’s also a sucker for classic novels and yes, she is the type to write poetry in her free time. You gotta have some kind of an outlet. 

Vasilisia never pursued education after high school, which catches many people by surprise considering how valuable her creation of the powered database is 

An absolute blanket hogger, which is probably the biggest con for being friends/partners with her. You will never get the blanket equally. 

Suha

Loves to instruct you on how to do things and will top every opportunity she can get. If you want a partner who’s self-assured and completely open to pushing to the limits, I give you Suha. When people say ‘step on my neck’ she doesn’t take it jokingly. 

As with Vasilisia, any aftercare with her is god-tier. I mean, if you’re with her she must value you a fair amount, and she certainly isn’t someone to treat what she values poorly; you can probably expect to be spoiled for a while. 

Despite her hardened exterior, Suha’s weakness lies in her family and friends. Anyone can inflict any amount of pain on her without even seeing her flinch, but if someone were to harm her family, it would be a quick way to get her to negotiate (especially if it involves Alexander). 

Speaking of family, Suha only has vague memories of her mother (another Crowe's general), but Hypatia gifted her with a locket that has her mother's picture in it. This is one of Suha’s most treasured possessions. 

Suha has opinions about her family's practices involving law and punishment, but overall she’s mostly compliant in their actions. It would take a fair amount of persuasion from MC to open her eyes to their questionability. 

She loves the docks. Like Operator, she’ll spend a lot of time there, especially around dusk or dawn in hopes of potentially seeing the sun on the horizon. It’s a place she goes to to clear her head. 

If something were to happen to Hypatia and Markos, Suha would be next to inherit the entire Crowes Court, not Alexander. This was a decision made by the family after Suha took over the role of Judge. 

Suha has one of the best singing voices, but she very rarely sings for any reason other than a birthday. 

[variousqueerthings]

@mimsyaf  okay I just wrote this here because looong, but I hope it’s more coherent than the other post:

1.

so okay, I just say that the main guys I was thinking about are the majority of the members of the band Rammstein (especially Till Lindemann, the frontman), who’ve talked about having sex with guys openly and have answered interview questions of “are you gay?” with “not right now” (because they’re married/have girlfriends) 

thinking about language that’s been used around bisexuality specifically that doesn’t.. .know? the word bisexual exists? so like. They grew up in East Germany during the time when that was still the USSR. So very censored, very regulated, very not-queer. 

Since their early fame they have used language around transness, gayness, and intersexuality that is... old-fashioned, but meant supportively, in some of their songs and in interviews, so there’s a question of - how much have they been involved in the queer Community (I think in the past at least not so much if at all), vs how much have they had personal experiences that make their way into their songs - again, especially Mr Lindemann who wrote the lyrics for a lot of those songs and is the most open about stuff. 

Again I need to reiterate in a Very Old-Fashioned Way. 

Recently however they’ve started flying Pride flags at concerts in Poland, Russia, and East Germany, which has been a nice development. 

and the way this language comes out of an older understanding of - being gay = literally the act of having sex with someone of the same gender. not being gay = not having sex with someone of the same gender. There is no other term other than gay or not gay. 

I would never say they were bisexual or pansexual or queer or anything other than heterosexual though, because that is their word for themselves. That is their conceptualization of their experiences. 

2. 

Also I was thinking about an actor that I’ve had the pleasure of having several conversations with in a public, online forum who talked about a beautiful boy he went to school with whom he followed to Greece over a summer after they graduated, who described himself having a crush on that boy during that time which was why he followed him in the first place, but the boy basically left him alone in Greece after a short time to go hook up with some girls (this was all spoken about openly and publicly, just want to re-clarify).

Again, I am not saying this actor is anything but straight. I’m just fascinated in the fluidity of that experience as being described by someone who (I know for a fact) has never been involved in a queer space or even knew most of the terms as you’d understand them today before a yearish ago when said online forum space began, because he didn’t need them for himself (and he learned them in that time because he’s figured out that a large portion of his fanbase is queer and he wants to respect us), and is happily married.

The screaming comes in the form of being interested in the experiences that make you feel like a member of a space/in need of a specific space and the experiences that - even if you maybe feel a kinship or have at some point felt like a member of that space - means that you never have or no longer do. 

I think there’s something interesting about the way terminology and personal attachment to terminology and mainstream knowledge of what-terminology-is-currently-dominant is in itself fluid + how in the end it all comes down to what you need - if you don’t need a queer space for yourself, then you might never find yourself in it on your own behalf, even if you’re an ally to other people being in that space. 

Where I haven’t seen this with women who are pretty famous - again to use Keira Knightley as the example, is that she talked about dressing as a boy and going to prom with her best friend and kissing her and so on, but she’s not quantifying it in any way, if that makes sense? she’s not saying “so I’m bi.” she’s not saying “but I’m straight now” (as far as I’m aware on both of these statements, correct me if I’m wrong) she’s just saying “this was something that happened when I was younger.”

I think also it has to do with ofc the way closeness between men is scrutinised vs closeness between women.

Also obvs actual bisexual famous people who were/are open about it don’t get that acknowledged at all right? (Angelina Jolie, Pink, Lady Gaga, Billy Joe Armstrong, etc) so that’s also A Whole Thing. 

[and-damntheconsequences]

Modern Merlin AU — With Gays and Churches

Slight CW for religious homophobia, and ofc I know that the majority of Christians are loving and beautiful people 💕

**

The Cast:

Uther: A firmly anti-gay pastor who is well known and mostly respected by the congregation and the community.

Ygraine: Uther's ex wife who divorced him after she found about an affair he had once had with a woman who named Vivian.

Arthur: Their son, who lives entirely with Uther and attends a religious school nearby.

Leon: Arthur's friend who also attends that school, who's parents have been going to Uther's church for years and years.

Merlin: A boy who recently joined the school after moving with his uncle, who teaches there. Also a closeted gay.

Gaius: An old friend of Uther's, a teacher at the school, and the only other person who knows about the affair.

Morgana: Uther's child from his affair with Vivian. She moves in with Uther when she's 10, since her mother can't financially support them both anymore.

Gwen: A girl at the school, who Arthur dates briefly in order to "prove" that he is straight.

Elyan: Gwen's brother, who lived with more distant family for a few years and has recently returned.

All other "round table" knights: New kids (they arrive at different times) who's parents have recently converted to Christianity and enrolled them in the school. Gwaine's family actually came from another church but he doesn't talk about that much, since he's not actually religious himself. Also Gwaine picks fights with homophobic teachers.

Kilgharrah: Either an angel, a demon, God Himself, or the school principal, I can't decide. Whichever he is, he occasionally pops up to give both Merlin and Arthur utterly useless life advice, in whatever form that takes depending on who he is. If he's somehow celestial, it's probably through sarcastic comments in dreams. If he's the school principal, he's just... That teacher that decides that stopping you in the corridor to Impart Words Of Adult Wisdom is a great use of everyone's time.

**

The Plot:

Uther becomes pastor at a church, and marries Ygraine. She disagrees with many of his views, but doesn't speak up about them, wanting to be a "good wife". That is, until she discovers that he once had an affair with a woman named Vivian and gave her a child. Ygraine then quietly divorces him and leaves, too afraid of making a fuss to try to get custody of Arthur. Uther tells everyone, including Arthur, that it was her choice to leave and that she willingly parted from the ways of the Lord. No one knows about the affair except him, her, and Vivian (and Gaius).

Arthur grows up with only Uther, not having many close friends, only Leon, who he's known his whole life and who's parents are also very religious. When Arthur is around 10, Vivian turns up on their doorstep, insisting that she has fallen into financial trouble, and cannot look after her child anymore. Uther takes Morgana in, insisting it was an act of charity on his behalf, and that Vivian was only an old friend. Everyone believes he is being a good samaritan, but secretly he hopes that if he "redeems" his child to the church, he may find redemption for what he did. Arthur and Morgana are the same age, and Uther begs Morgana not to tell Arthur the truth (threatening her for if she does), so he doesn't know she's his sister. They get on, mostly, but Arthur's a bit of a prat in lecturing her about God sometimes because he thinks that's how you make friends.

Anyway, a few years later, when Arthur is around 14, Merlin joins his school (they're roughly the same age here, Merlin only a few months younger.) He was sent to his uncle by his mother, since he came out to her and she didn't accept him. She wanted him to go to church and a religious school to "fix" him. He now lives with Gaius, and goes back into the closet for the time he's at school. He quickly becomes friends with Gwaine, who doesn't have many friends and is constantly in trouble for arguing with bigoted teachers.

Because he's really academic, Uther asks Gaius if it would be possible for Merlin to come round and help tutor Arthur in order to catch Arthur up with his studies, so Merlin starts coming around every Tuesday and Thursday. They slowly become friends, despite Merlin being quite rude, and Arthur having the most frustrating "holier than thou" attitude because he's the priest's son. Merlin develops a crush on him, and quickly gives up on trying to deny his sexuality to himself, but he can't tell Arthur, or anyone else.

In time, Merlin stops being so afraid of his own sexuality, and sneaks off to a pride parade and attends an LGBT group a couple of times. Gaius suspects what he might be doing, but says nothing.

When Morgana turns 16, she tells them all that she thinks she might be a lesbian. She's scared, but hopes that Uther may be understanding. Instead, he kicks her out, despite Arthur's protests that it isn't fair. She goes to live with some friends in similar situations, and over the next few months, cuts off Uther completely, changes school, and starts regularly attending LGBTQ+ events and just generally living her best lesbian life.

This makes Uther incredibly angry, and he takes it out on Arthur a lot, who starts going to Gaius and Merlin's after school to avoid him. He texts Morgana a bit, but is afraid to keep close contact with her, and still sees homosexuality as a sin. However, this whole situation has made him actually think about his own sexuality, and he's now afraid that maybe HE himself isn't totally straight. To prove that he is to himself, he asks Gwen on a date, but he can't ever truly like her, and she knows that.

At the same time, Merlin is trying to get rid of his crush on Arthur because he doesn't want to ruin that friendship, so he starts going to pride groups weekly, to meet others. He meets Will, a trans guy, and they almost date for a while, but Merlin can't commit to it because of his own feelings. Morgana happens to meet him there, and at first that interaction is a little awkward, but instead of pressuring him, she just gives him a hug, and tells him it's okay, she's learnt that now. She'll always be here for him if he needs to feel safe away from Uther/Arthur, or the school as a whole. He tells her that he hopes Arthur could be different from his father, and she says she hopes so, but she doesn't believe he would be — he seems to hate her too now. But that's okay. She's got a new family now. She's happy.

And then, eventually, Arthur comes to accept his own feelings, and Gwen does hers. He talks to Merlin about how he isn't sure if he's straight, and eventually they date, and then kiss. Gwen has a Bisexual Awakening™, and she reconnects with Morgana (they were friends before Morgana left) and they date too. Hunith (who's been having a side plot of researching things and learning and becoming a better, more accepting person) comes to stay with Gaius for a while, and tells Merlin she loves him, and will always love him no matter who he's with, and she's sorry she never said that before now.

When Arthur turns 18, his mother reaches out to him. She was too afraid to risk upsetting Uther and the church before, but she wants to know if he's okay. He's angry at her for all the years she was silent, and all the things he didn't know, and for leaving him, but in time, she tells him the truth. Morgana also tells Arthur the truth, knowing now that he doesn't blindly believe his father, and this won't tear a rift between them. Uther's affair is then revealed to the whole congregation, most of whom are appalled, and his reputation is ruined. The church gets a new pastor.

Some of the kids realise that they don't need religion to be valid and happy, and others realise that they can have both religion and love, and God can love them no matter who they are with. Both are okay, and everyone accepts everyone. They all live their best, gayest, cutest, and happiest lives.

***

Feel free to add stuff I love this concept. Also someone needs to write something like this and tag me bc I cannot write this myself — I'm incapable of managing the 3 fics I'm writing at the moment.

[boy-bi]

a little vent

i know this is mostly a lgbtq positivity and education account but i really just need to vent tonight. jesus fucking christ its hard to be queer sometimes. i dont know if i have any coherent thoughts or any way to really sum this all up but its so hard and isolating sometimes. i just want to love. i just want to be me and i cant fucking do that without being reminded of how hard it is. i was listening to the kurtis conner podcast from a couple weeks back while i was at work and he has a little advice section and it was a young queer kid asking for advice on how to deal with a homophobic religious father who has been great except for how homophobic he is. ofc kurtis is a cishet man so he kinda was just like "damn that rlly sucks im sorry idk what to say" (im paraphrasing and this is not a callout post or anything im just giving background) and it fucking broke me. like i dont go half of what anon goes through but it really resonated with me. my younger sister came out recently and the way my mom has brought it up just breaks my heart. she's supportive and what not but its just like.... she doesn't see her the same way. she never will. and its the same for my extended family and im so fucking sick of it. and the worst part is i cant change anything. this isnt some fucking disney channel original movie where everyone realizes that gay people are normal and everything is okay; me coming out would forever change my family dynamic and there's nothing I can ever do about it. i was again reading some fanfic and boom outta nowhere it talked about how hard it is to be gay and it hurt my fucking soul again. like I cant even consume media that represents me without being reminded of how shitty the world is. i just wanna love. i just want to be like straight people and just love. but I cant. idk if this is defeatist or just a small set of experiences that will change when im older, but this is all I've ever known. and this is literally one of the better case scenarios; im not in danger, im out to a bunch of my friends, and there are so many queer people who have it so so so so much worse than i do. but im just tired.

ig i wanted to share this for a couple of reasons. i feel this blog sometimes romanticizes queerness in an irresponsible way. i repost happy and educational things because i don't want people scrolling through to be sad, and to not constantly feel weighed down and hollowed by the realness of the world. but its important for u all to know that i do not live a fairy tale queer experience, and for anyone who feels similarly, you are not alone. i guess i also posted this for advice or a cry of help for sorts. i need someone to tell me that it gets better. that this feeling goes away or gets easier to manage. i don't want to live my life with the ever-present thought of "being straight would be easier" in the back of my head. sometimes i feel so isolated and lonely with all of this stuff and it gets too much to bear.

anyways, that's my vent. pls lmk if i need to tag anymore trigger warnings, i tried to do the best i could. i doubt anyone is, but if anyone is worried pls do not be, i am safe and okay.

idk how to end this long ass post. im sorry for how depressing this post is. im just tired. im tired of hating myself, im tired of fearing for how my relationships have/will change, im tired of this stupid ass planet, im tired of not being able to love, and im tired of crying. i wish i could end this on a good note, and there are so many positives!! like we are living in the most progressive age and things have gotten so so so so so much better. but sometimes i wish i could just be straight, or live my life like a straight person does. i know im gonna look back at this and cringe or whatever, but irdc. sorry to vent to strangers on the internet, but if any older queer people could give me advice or their thoughts, i would rlly appreciate it. anyways, i love u all and i hope u guys have a good night <3

[thevagueambition]

Tonks, Lan Xichen and my darling boy Bossuet, please sir :3

I shall provide! :P thanks for asking!

Tonks

Sexuality Headcanon: Mostly she's just vibing but she tends to date girls. Not super concerned with labeling anything, but will casually refer to herself as gay.

Gender Headcanon: A vague hand gesture followed by a shrug. She prefers a butch aesthetic and her bio would say "any pronouns"

A ship I have with said character: I don't super ship her with anyone tbh

A BROTP I have with said character: Mad-Eye as her mentor is super funny to me and she herself makes a good gay mentor for Ginny lol. I also want to see her make friends with Sirius and Remus

A NOTP I have with said character: Not as notp as some notps I have but due to the history of their relationship being used to crush gay readings of either character involved, Tonks/Remus. I really respect when people write that as very queer in and of itself but on a personal level I can't really get over 1) the intent it was likely written with 2) the way it's written in canon.

A random headcanon: She's involved with 90s zine culture

General Opinion over said character: I am extremely fond of her. Along with Remus, she's the most queercoded character in HP.

Lan Xichen (I probably have some unpopular opinions here lol)

Sexuality Headcanon: hmm so this is complicated by the psudo-historical context because... I see LXC as someone whose primary concern (or at least one of them) is living up to the ideal of a man of his status as defined by his society and I think what the setting is emulating is a society where a marriage to a woman is part of that and romantic sentiments aren't really considered abnormal in male-male friendships. And I see him as someone who is satisfied within that system. So if being "straight" is having a sexuality that is not at odds with societal norms, that is what I see him as. True, he doesn't show much interest in women, but frankly homosocial relationships were often the most emotionally significant relationships people had in heavily gender stratified societies like all of MDZS and particularly the Cloud Recess is, regardless of the presence of any sexual attraction. Idk. Like I genuinely feel like I'd need to read a great deal more about sexuality in the period of Chinese history MDZS draws its inspiration from to give an actual answer lol

Gender Headcanon: He seems pretty normatively cis male and indeed concerned with living up to his duties as a highborn man specifically.

A ship I have with said character: I somewhat ship him with Jin Guangyao but only along the lines of "acceptable" romantic sentiments because personally i really prefer that LWJ's homosexuality is uniquely transgressive within his immediate surroundings. if you see WWX as gay, which I think makes as much sense as seeing him as bi, then ofc once they get together it's not unique in that WWX is also being openly gay, but what I mean is the ways in which eg LWJ openly declares his love for WWX to LXC in the backstory, doesn't mind people assuming he's fucking Mo Xuanyu, etc

A BROTP I have with said character: Jin Guangyao as well, LWJ ofc (the literal bro B) )

A NOTP I have with said character: I REALLY don't want to see him with WWX lol

A random headcanon: In some ways he acted as LWJs parent due to the situation with their parents. Their uncle stepped in to do a lot or parenting, yes, but I think LXC is the type of older sibling who has a very parental relation to their younger sibling due to elements of how they grew up combined with general personality

General Opinion over said character: He's really great. The absolute gap moe of how calm he usually is contrasted with his reaction to the JGY reveal.... fantastic. Also every time he teases LWJ is so valid lol. Truly he is great Older Brother Rep lol

Bossuet

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual in the exact manner a lot of historical men who have sex with men were lol

Gender Headcanon: Cis male, albeit complicated by his sexuality, as it always would have been at the time

A ship I have with said character: Both Joly/Bossuet on their own and power triad Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

A BROTP I have with said character: Bossuet and Grantaire have such great canon interactions! They're clearly close and imo Bossuet is one of the few people Grantaire sometimes listens to because Bossuet bothering to argue with him in Back Room of the Café Musain is exactly because they're good enough friends that he feels he can say it and should be the one to do so, as well that he has some experience of sometimes halting Grantaire in his Grantaire-ing

A NOTP I have with said character: Hmm nothing comes to mind really

A random headcanon: In some ways he's who Grantaire could be if he wasn't so deep in a pit of mental illness and self pity and Bossuet's aware of that to some extent, understands that who Grantaire is is not that far from who he could be if he lost his belief in Progress and didn't have Joly. IMO Bossuet is incredibly observant, particularly emotionally.

General Opinion over said character: Imagine acidentially giving up your spot at uni to another student because you got so annoyed with the professor that you began trolling him but it backfired and then telling this to the guy who you gave up your spot for but in a way where you frame it as if you did it completely intentionally and indeed you're thankful to him because now you don't have to go to law school all because you don't want him to feel bad about it and also it's funnier Bossuet Is That Dude

Honestly, he's one of my absolute favourites

[bi-dazai]

honestly i think i have a weird anger or cultural confusion where other gay and trans ppl are like much happier and comfortable to come out and shit and be open, but I've always had an extremely complicated relationship with it because it's always made me feel so isolated and lonely, even with other gay ppl around. and younger ppl especially will like go around coming out so frequently and meanwhile if I'm going to even tell you that I'm attracted to women I have to trust you 110% and that isn't something that comes easy.

I'm terrified of like. Wearing even rainbow goddamn socks because I'm scared shitless of getting bullied, or harassed, or even assaulted. Which is ironic considering I try to be quite fashionable in public but with being openly bi (let alone being openly TRANS) it's a complete no-no.

Like I think as much as I love being bi and nb at the same time I still despise it, I still think it's ruined my life. I have gender dysphoria about my chest whereas if I was cis I would be so happy with how feminine my body is. My first ever relationship with another girl at the moment being cut short by abusive homophobia fucked me up in innumerous ways, leading me to like...severe issues with the way i feel about sex and emotional attachment and touch.

And ofc there's the homophobia, like at this moment I'm probably leaning towards getting a fuckbuddy or smth over tinder but like a romantic relationship with another person is terrifying, like I'm insanely private w relationships even w men, I won't let us hold hands if I think too many people might see bc i have this stupid complex

There's more and more but my relationship with being Out is one where it's something that I simultaneously desire and despise, being Out is one of the most terrifying concepts I can think of and to me having someone refer to me as "they" and not as a woman is simply not as important as being safe, as not living in even more fear of assault.

And then all around me ppl my age (although usually younger) are all coming out to anyone and everyone like it's just casual, saying their pronouns like it's nothing. And first it's disbelief and shock because holy fuck, has everyone gone fucking mad?? Are we all so fucking stupid that we just forget the everloving fear homophobia strikes into you?? And then it's the jealousy, that these people have this comfortable relationship with their own gay/transness and enough trust to actually open up and tell a room full of strangers "please call me they not she". It's disappointment and anger in myself that almost 7 years after forcing myself to whisper "I'm bisexual" to the bathroom mirror in the middle of the night and then cry my eyes out because it felt like I'd been cursed, and probably over a decade since I'd started having sexual feelings about all genders, and an entire lifetime of having feelings for men women and others, after so long I'm still just a coward who sits and hates it all, who fears it all.

But then recently I've come to the realisation that the way I realised I was gay was a way that's kind of...dying out. That being the mostly offline way.

Don't take this the wrong way but I've found a lot of people go online and find this overwhelming amount of support and representation for gay and trans identity. You can argue validly this statement, but the context I use this in is comparing it to like. 2013. People were way less online. Being an online celebrity was a novelty.

At school there were dyke, faggot, tranny, etc, thrown around as if they were confetti. Jokes about "lesbos" and "lesbihonest" humiliated any girl who was too close to another girl. I grew up not just in Brisbane Queensland but in a town that was connected to the mainland only by two bridges - a landbridge and a humanmade bridge. The school was overwhelmingly anglo. Overwhelmingly right wing.

I realised I was bi with minimal help from Tumblr. I realised I was bi because I fell, hard, for my best friend. And then she liked me back, and our relationship was amazing. But the school found out. We held hands under the table, we found a quiet moment to kiss and everyone pointed and stared. We made out in the shadow of a building and turned to find twenty people watching gawkeyed, pointing, fascinated.

The entire time her mum was abusive, and massively homophobic. She blamed me for turning her daughter gay. She forced us multiple times to break up at the threat of violence. Eventually we did. We never talked about it. Our friendship never returned like it used to. It was awkward, tinged with sadness, regret, yearning and young love cut short.

It was traumatic, to say the least.

Tumblr in 2014, despite the cringe screenshots, wasn't actually mostly about LGBT positivity or whatever. I first saw the term bisexual on, if you can believe me, a quotev story in 2011 about a cheerleader and an emo girl who get together in a secret relationship. You were either gay or straight, or you had an exception. Bisexual felt right, though, for me, felt accurate, was accurate.

It was years of confusion and secrecy and guilt, peeks at other girls in the changing room that I couldn't help and I didn't understand why. Then it was months and months of anger and frustration at myself that I was feeling this way and confused about myself, and then when I said those words it felt like I was being torn apart. It felt like my life had fallen apart. I cried every goddamn night, I felt awful all the time.

At school the kids noticed. They noticed before I started dating my friend, they noticed the way I looked at her and they interrogated me about it. I'd claim up and down I had a crush on another boy - true perhaps, but it was a passing interest - and then they said they told him and analysed how I reacted. And then the interrogations continued for months because the gay girl was entertainment for them. Around me, as I walked between classes, had lunch, walked home, dyke dyke dyke faggot hahaha.

And then the relationship happened and then leelah alcorn happened and I learned what a trans person is. And sometime when I was fifteen I saw nonbinary begin to pop up, terms like genderfluid and nonbinary and they rang true like bisexual did, but the last time I went down a rabbit hole like that it ended in trauma, and another person got hurt. I didn't throw homophobia at her, but I felt and still feel responsible for it. I didn't turn her gay, but I made it obvious. I don't quite know how to say it.

I knew I was nonbinary, deep down. One day I decided to add that to my tumblr bio. Nobody gave a shit, just like nobody gave a shit when I said I was bi. But that was because I wasn't open about it even online. I couldn't talk about that stuff or I'd curse myself.

Time went on, I got more comfortable, collected fresh new traumas. My brother came out as trans. Around me, friends came out as gay and trans. But they kept coming out. They didn't stop at close friends and trusted family, they told teachers, their entire class. I didn't understand. Why the fuck would you put yourself at risk like that?? And I still don't. I said it was jealousy and anger at myself before, and maybe it is still a little bit, but now, it's just concern.

As I said, the way I realised I was gay is the rather old fashioned way - offline, through trauma, and almost entirely unenjoyable and traumatic. A lot of kids still go through that for sure. But the ones I see telling everyone over that they're gay or trans are, in my experience, not those ones. As the internet began to become more of a general use thing and less of a "only recluse weirdos" space, the online LGBT safe space began to expand into an audience bigger than before. Online, you were safe. Nobody knew your name, you were behind a screen. Homophobia was veiled, you could just delete a hateful anon, could just log off. You could put up your pronouns and people would use them because, well, ppl didn't really have any other identifier someone might use for your gender. So this positive uplifting atmosphere spawned for the most part. And instead of learning through confusion and rare chance encounters with random words and crying into the sink every night that you're gay, you much easier come across this content that tells you indepth what this is and that it's okay. And you think, well wow, that's me, and then...you know, I guess. Not denying there's some of the classic self hatred etc but...you have this safe space online to fall back on, and I cannot emphasise how much that has pushed the acceptance and widespread knowledge of lgbt people in the past 5 years. I didn't exactly have that space, and my realisation was through mostly real life channels, which were swamped at all sides by homophobia, at worst, abusive, at kindest, it would treat you like a sideshow attraction.

Being someone who arguably isn't old enough to brush this difference away with being an "older gay" but still having had a gay experience quite different to the majority in my generation (applying this to area as well) I have to say I'm confronted with this comfortableness other days have a lot and it's always jarring. I think also that while it's important and I'm happy that "younger" gays and transes have at least one good support network/space to fall back onto online, I do think it creates this kind of...dangerous other side, especially for those who go to schools that are LGBT positive and have families who are also friendly to that sort of stuff. I find that young gay teens are totally unprepared and unhardened for the fact that most people you run into in real life despise your guts for existing as who you are. And while we can make as many soppy gay narratives as possible about being honest about who you are and losing shame, we need to face the fact and teach young lgbt kids that being Out isn't just something you do as a ritual in being gay or trans, it's a brave thing and it's completely optional. And furthermore, most importantly, it's insanely dangerous.

I don't think that teenage, raw fear of the consequences of even the very concept of being Out has ever left me. Perhaps I have to thank the homophobic 14 yr olds who swamped me in slurs and trauma, because it's given me a survival sense that's kept me closeted so far you'd never get in.

But occasionally I'm tempted, particularly with my transness which I am only out to perhaps 3 people about, to venture into the world of telling people about yourself. I started a new uni semester and in a tutorial, the teacher handed out cards. We were to use it as a placard to write our names on it so the teacher would learn our names over the next few classes. And, if we chose...our pronouns.

I stared at that card for what felt like a million years. This has always been an ordeal. People don't know how to pronounce my name, even though it's a rather simple one. But pronouns? I'd never really told anyone those. Online, yes, and once when I was asked by a friend i was brave enough to say "any will do" but this - this wasn't the curated safe online space, this wasn't a one-time phrase to a friend. This was an open, permanent thing that would sit below me every class, declaring me to 18 other people. I wrote down "NATALYA", then beneath "she/". And then I stared some more. I felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was the biggest fool, because before I could stop myself I wrote "she/they". No "he", not yet. But...it was there.

At the end of the class the teacher collected the placards. I wanted to run back screaming, wanted to ask her for a new card so I could be safe again. But I didn't because I would look like a freak and a coward.

I still think it's stupid. I still think I've put some petty gesture that no one will ever respect (if they can call you she they won't ever call you they) above my own safety. The thing that really struck me was that it didn't feel good. The reason I wrote it like that, I believe in hindsight, is that I was curious what those other kids feel like, because it must feel good to declare that you're a tr*nny d*ke in front of the entire class, good enough to beat the stomach-lurching dread that precedes such an action. But it didn't. It just felt like an unnecessary risk. And it made me feel worse, like there was a target on the back of my head.

I think I could talk about this forever, about how so many kids believe coming out is this thing you're required to do to be a good gay, but it's not. It's stupid stupid reckless, and in my case it ends with you getting fucked over.

But Ive written for ages and gotten prosaic halfway through so I'm gonna shut up. Basically why the fuck do you guys come out to everyone like please stay safe instead of this it isn't worth it.

[aetm-malereaderimagines]

Hey! How about a male reader scenario where the reader has an intense crush on Sawamura Daichi and finally confesses to him ( after a LOT of struggling) only to find out Daichi was also about to confess to him on the same day. Also i love your effort to make male reader scenarios. It really makes it easy for queer males to also have the same experience as straight female fans. Keep it up!!

Firstof all, thank you for your request! Second of all, duh XD I’m a gayguy myself so ofc I write gay fanfiction! Mymain reason to start this blog was actually my frustration caused bybeing unable to find decent HQ!! reader inserts where the reader islegitimately gender-neutral. Yes, even gender-neutral. There are some nicemale reader inserts out there but they’re few and far between.So I usually end up looking for gender-neutral insterts, headcanons, and scenarios but… Some of them areblatantly meant for female readers. Some of them claim to be gender-neutral but you can clearly see they’re actually not or just employ male and female gender stereotypes I’m definitely not comfortable with. And some ofthem are female reader inserts that are tagged as x male reader… SoI decided to say “fuck it” and create some content myself that myfellow queer readers can actually enjoy! LGBT people are alreadydenied the same experience regarding love and sexuality that straight people get so if I can somehow contribute to making this world ofours a little less fucked up for my fellow queer folks, that’s all I could ever wish for!

Okay, but enough of myinconsistent rambling and let’s get into the actual scenario!Although I probably have a crush on every and each HQ!! character(well, maybe except some of the older guys lol), Daichi is actuallyone of those I’d probably consider the best boyfriend material soI’m really glad you requested a scenario for him! Justfyi, I made the readerKarasuno’s 2ndyear manager so that Ihave something to start from, hopefully you don’t mind. Ireally hope you’ll like it! enjoy!

Also let me apologize that it took me so long to write this but for some reason, I’ve been feeling utterly uninspired lately :/ It took the first episode of S4 and a volleyball match I watched yesterday for me to finally get some inspiration to finish this scenario XD

Pairing: Sawamura Daichi x Male Reader

Word count: 1659

告り告られ — A Double Confession

“Oh come on, just confess tohim!”

“You know I can’t!”

“You can and you will!”Yachi’s eyes bored into you and you turned your gaze away, feelingas though those two goldenorbs were penetrating your very soul. “Why do you have to make itharder than it actually is? You like him, you confess, you gettogether. Simple!”

“Like hell it would go thatsmoothly,” you scoffed. “I don’t even know if he’s gay.”

“Oh come on, have you not seenhow close he is with Sugawara-san?”

“But that’s precisely theproblem!” You looked Yachi in the eye confrontingly. “If he’snot gay, I don’t even have a chance, and even if he is, I stilldon’t have a chance since he’s probably already inlove with Suga-san.”

“…you will confess to himeventually anyways,” Yachi cut the conversation, pouting.

You looked away. You knew she wasright. You were going to confess to him eventually. It’s just… Itwas so fucking hard to work up the courage. You’dhad a crush on Daichi since your first year, since a while afteryou’djoined the volleyball club.

Atfirst, it was all fun and games. Youjoined the club simply because you liked volleyball but getting towatch pretty boys get all worked up and sweaty while playing was anice bonus for you. Once you realized you liked Daichi, it got evenmore fun… for a while. Howmany people could say they get to see their crash shirtless on adaily basis?

But the longer you watched, thecloser you got to him, the more painful it got. Daichicould look scary at first, especially during practice sessions whenhe had to rein in first and second years, but asalways, appearances couldbe deceptive. Youmanaged to befriend him, also getting closer with Suga and Asahi inthe process, but soon yourealized that being just friends was hardly enough for you. Youstill couldn’t forget that one time when Daichi said you were “likea younger brother to him” and how much it hurt.

“All right!”

What snapped you out of yourcontemplation was Daichi’s voice. Whileyou were bickering with Yachi standing on the side of the court, theboys were actually training. Shimizu was in charge of taking notestoday so you and Yachi didn’t have much to do at the moment.

You turnedyour eyes in the direction Daichi’svoice had come from. Andthere he was, looking asgood as always, with that damn smile of his he always had on his faceafter a good receive, just a few feet away from you.

So close yet so far.

It was the day. It was the dayyou were going to confess to Daichi.

It had been a month since yourargument with Yachi. Over the last 30 daysand even more late-night phone calls with Yachi, you decided toconfess your feelings to Daichi. Even if he didn’t like you back,you wanted him to know what you feel. The days were growing longerand Spring High wasgetting closer and closer. Regardless of whether you won or lost, thethird-years were going to quit the club once the tournament was over.And once that happened,you were bound to grow more distant with Daichi, let alone having achance to confess to him. If you were going to do it, you had to doit now.

The morning sun was shininggently upon you as you walked through the schoolyard withyour heart pounding in your chest andyou still had like half a day to go before the actual confession. Youreally hoped your teachers wouldn’t quiz you today. You’dprobably fail it miserably since you couldn’t focus on anythingelse but the dreadful perspective of what was going to happen thisevening.

Yourplan was simple. You were going to take alittle longer cleaningup after practice so that you end up staying alone in the storageroom. Then, Yachi was going to “notice” that you’re missing andask Daichi to go and look for you because she had “somethingimportant to talk to you about.” If everything went smoothly, youwere going to end up alone with Daichi in the storage room. That wasgoing to be your chance.

When you were going overthe plan in your head walking down the hallway, your phone rang. Youpulled your phone out of your bag to find out you had a new text fromYachi.

“I’m sorry m(_ _)m”

You tilted your head. That wasall she wrote.

“What do you mean?” youtexted back as you entered your classroom.

You spent the first periodstressing over Yachi’s message. Whatever she was sorry about, itwas bound to be nothing good.

Turnedout Yachiwas sick.

Accordingto Yachi herself, he had suddenly felt really unwell last night whichhadturned out to beonly the beginning of a long, feverish night. Whenher mom had taken her to the doctor this morning, she’d beendiagnosed with a bad case of influenza. Shewould probably be staying at home for at least a week.

Yourplan was ruined, which of course made you very upset… but somewheredeep in your heart, you also felt kind of relieved that the momentyou were going to confess to Daichi was put off by at least a week,and you hated yourself for it.

Youlet out a deep sigh as you leaned against a mop you held in yourhands. Youended up being the last one left in the gym anyways, no matter yourplan. You’dlied to Shimizu and the guys about needing to clean up the storageroom—you needed some time foryourself.

“Needsome help?”

Youturned your face up to find the source of the voice only to be facesby Daichi leaning against the door frame, looking at you.

You gulped.

You didn’t even need your planto be left alone with Daichi.

If this wasn’t the heavenstelling you it was high time you’d confessed then what was.

“Yeah,actually, I’m really glad you’re here,” you said, lookingstraight at Daichi. “There’s something I need to tell you.” Yougulped. “I like you.”

Youfinally said it.

Daichi stood in front of yousilently, as though processing what you had just said, and you justwaited. You weren’t going anywhere until you got an answer,especially given that Daichi was standing in the doorway, blockingyour way. You had quite a spectacle to watch anyways.

Thefirst few seconds, Daichi’s face just… froze, as he stared at youunblinkingly. Then came a slight blush which gradually turned moreand more red eventually taking on the color of an especially ripebeet. Hecovered hismouth with both of his hands, as though he was in an utter shock.Which he probably was. It took him like half a minute to calm down.Once his blush subsided a little bit, he lowered his hands andfinally let himself blink.

“I… I like you, too,” hesaid quietly, turning his eyes away from you.

“No, I don’t mean it likethat.” You smiled sadly. “I mean it, like, in a romantic way.”

“That’s what I mean, too.”

This time it was you that foundyourself shook to the bone.

“What…wait, what?!”

“I actually came here toconfess to you,” Daichi explained, his blush growing brighteragain. “Shimizu told me you’d said you’d stay in the gym alittle longer and everyone else has already left so I thought it wasmy chance…”

You stared at each otherwordlessly for a few seconds. You were the one to start laughing.

“Whatthe hell is this?! Whathave I even been worried about this past year?!”

“Iknow, right?” Daichi giggled as well. “Wait,you’ve had a crush on me fora yearalready?!”

“Over a year, I’d say,” youresponded. “You?”

“You beat me on that one.”Daichi’s smile was really the most beautiful thing you’d everseen. “I’d say since the previous Spring High? You remember howyou cheered me up after we lost? That’s when I realized.”

“Isee.” You couldn’t stop grinning. “So I guess we’reboyfriends now?”

“I guess so.” Daichi grabbedyour hand and pulled you toward the door. “Let’s go hometogether.

“That’s so amazing!!!!!!I’m so happy for you two!!!!!!!!! And I’m so so sorry I couldn’thelp you today T_T”

You smiled at your phone. Yachiwas really the sweetest.

“If you hadn’t supportedme this whole time, I wouldn’t have confessed to him in the firstplace!”

“Sorry you had to wait.”

You put your phone back into yourpocket as you turned your eyes to Daichi. He had to grab hiss stufffrom the club room and you’d been waiting for him downstairs.

“No problem,” you responded,readjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “Shall we gothen?”

“Let’s.”

You walked down the streetleading up to the school. You were talking and laughing, enjoyingeach other’s presence. It was late and there was nobody around.Daichi grabbed your hand and you squeezed it back.

“Hey,” Daichi started, hisvoice sounding a little anxious. “Don’t you wanna come over? Myparents are at home but I’m sure my mom will be happy to have youover for dinner. We could watch some movies or something.”

“Sure thing,” you respondedwith a smile. “I’d love that.”

Daichi smiled at you again andyou couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. You leaned in placing agentle kiss on his lips.

A clap of distant thunder rumbled throughthe skies. You couldn’t know that yet but it was just the beginningof a thunderstorm that was going to force you to stay the night atDaichi’s house.

Not that you minded.

[calmedflames]

 ----- OH GOD how do you rp again?? hm anyWAY the name’s ria ( believe no one else mads when they say otherwise ) 22 , in the worst timezone possible and p much always confused !! but i have some probably not helpful info about two precious children under the cut so YAH

『    JAMIE MOON  ||     28     ||       FLOWER SHOP CLERK / BARTENDER     』

 god she’s so pretty i cry BUT ANYWAY y’all ready for some tragic bs story? well get ready. 

so jamie’s adopted ----- ok not as dramatic but like lstn ,, she was born in busan, south korea into a pathetic excuse for a family , cue abusive dad and helpless mom and poor af but like she made peace with it only cause she learned how to shut off her feelings and lived in denial p much

but one day her dad gets an offer from one of his work colleagues to move to the US and be the head of the office there ,, they just have to pay a “small” fee and other expenses like visas and shit but being the idiot that he is , sells off everything they have so that they can move and when they reach washington , there’s nothing --- no office no people ,, nothing

they don’t know the language , have no house , no nothing SO OFC the only logical reason was for him to kill himself and mom followed suit and now our 14 yr old girl has no where to go :) 

jamie now somehow has to learn to live in a new country all by herself ,, fantastic -- but she does... sleeps on benches or finds people here and there who sometimes help her or rob her OH WELL but yeah eventually a store owner takes pity and lets her work for some food and eventually they help put jamie in the system 

YA GIRL GETS ADOPTED BY A RICH ASS FAMILY 

her adoptive parents are nice and all but after her, they adopted another younger child and later had a child of their own so hello insecurities of being kicked out anytime soon 

so eventually she worked and borrowed some money from the fam and moved out and now yeah now she’s just chillin’ 

that’s all i got okay be nice 

oh also lesbian af

  WANTED CONNECTIONS                            

past reflections :  maybe some people she met during the time she lived on the streets ... people who helped her or who she stayed with for a couple of days or someone took advantage or robbed her or whatever 

thicker than blood  :  gimme her two younger siblings thanks 

exes and ohs  :  did someone say ex-girlfriend? yes. 

a (girl) crush  :  someone she likes but is obviously straight but she’s just heart eyes

a (boy) crush  :  some guy she probably dated a while back to make her parents happy but obviously had no future w cause she gay 

regular mistakes  :  ayeee friends w benefits bc who doesn’t want that 

idk man anything you can think of lmk

『    RICK SULLIVAN   ||     37     ||       ANIMAL SHELTER OWNER        』

ok but how cute is he 

imma be honest there’s not much exciting to his background and that has nothing to do with the fact that i literally created this character under peer pressure ( ahem mads ahem ) maybe it does

so he was born in a small town in texas , loving mom and dad and eventually had a little sister who he adores with all his heart and picture perfect family ----- i mean all families have their issues but it was mostly good 

their mom stayed home and looked after the kids and their little farm while their army man dad bravely fought wars 

but ofc , one day the letter of their dad’s death comes and the responsibilities of being the man of the house fall on poor 16 year old rick 

and he did what he could to help out , small odd jobs that earned some money while balancing school and all that ---- but it turned out good , eventually making enough money to take his little family and move to elms and start his own little animal shelter 

BUT SO our boy rick is a simple man , kind , sweet , handsome , helpful , likes to travel ( although has never been anywhere ), likes to paint once a while also is romantic and likes long walks on the beach 

OH ALSO i forgot to mention , the one woman he fell in love with left him at the alter :)) 

so yeah , after that he was a little broken , his sunshine personality took a hit and he went on a drinking binge for a bit but yah mads just hates all of my characters and does this every time 

WANTED CONNECTIONS  

little one  :   his younger sister please , i imagine they have a good relationship but lets talk about it for sure

mother knows best  :  well yeah , his mom , pretty straightforward. she took good care of ‘em as children but also put a lot of pressure on rick’s shoulders at a young age and they’re good for the most part and he’s super protective of her , sometimes annoyingly but in good faith

best buddy  :  everyone needs a best friend you guys

bad habits die hard  :  so like i said , rick is goody two shoes but went in a “bit” of a spiral after the whole wedding thing so probably someone who taught him to drink and become a. as rick would say a “ hardcore baddie ”   ---- god he’s so lame

animal shelter employees  :  who wants to come hang out with cool old man rick and his adorable puppies 

[bing-fucker]

....fuck now i wanna see actor mark/jamie. they get cast as lovers in an upcoming film/production and actor mark suggests they go out for dinner to get to know each other better ... for the movie, ofc. afterwards they go back to actor mark's place to build even more chemistry if ya know what i mean 👀👀👀

Oh yes absolutely. I've honestly really been hoping that someone would request something with these two I love them-

So real quick to explain their age differences; in WKM Actor is the same age as William, and William fought in WW1, so he had to have been born at latest 1900. WKM takes place, at earliest, in 1935 (which we can figure out because William's gun only started production in 1935) so Mark is at the very least 35. Jameson is 25 because I like the aesthetic of him being a young starlet. This also takes place in a sort of weird place where it's after Celine has left Mark, but before the Manor drove him crazy. So he's a lot nicer than he usually is.

As always, Jameson's signing will be italicized. Anything bolded will be The Manor feeding Mark thoughts.

Also this takes place in an AU where being gay is just as accepted as being straight because I refuse to write period typical homophobia in porn.

Warnings: Age difference. As always, ask me to add any necessary warnings.

Mark wasn't big on having new costars. He liked working with the same people he always did, and he didn't like having to meet new people. Especially not during one of the worst times in his life. But now here he was, about to meet his new costar. Mark sighed deeply, watching the director - god only knows what the man's name was, Mark had already forgotten - lead a young man around. He was dressed in a button up and blue vest with a bowtie and a bowler hat. He also didn't have shoes, which should have been worrying but Mark didn't care. The director lead the man over to Mark, who was immediately struck by two realizations; The man was absolutely beautiful, and Mark was pretty sure he could go to jail if he even looked at him wrong.

"Mark," The director said. "This is Jameson Jackson."

"Right. Wonderful. Let me just-" Mark hooked his arm around the director's shoulder and leading him away from the confused Jameson.

"That is a child," he hissed.

"No," the director corrected. "That is Hollywood's newest star from across the water."

"How old is he!?"

"Twenty-five."

"Twenty... That is ten years! I was ten when he was born!"

"Mark, look," the director said, sighing. "I know that you don't like dealing with new talent, but here's the thing. You are losing relevancy. He is Hollywood's new favorite face. So just be nice, do good on my movie, collect your check, and move on. Or I'll replace you. Great? Great!" The director pat Mark's shoulder, going back over to Jameson and apologizing.

Jameson waved a hand with a dismissive smile, making a few signs that Mark just barely recognised as American Sign Language. He'd learned a bit when he was younger, since William had a habit of going nonverbal when too upset.

"Oh, wonderful," Mark muttered. "Twenty-five years since I used Sign, but let's see if I can remember." He cleared his throat and put on a smile, striding over to Jameson confidently.

And up close, he was even prettier. Which really wasn't fair in the slightest. Mark could absolutely see why Jameson was Hollywood's newest starlet. The little gentleman was attractive, expressive, and Mark had completely missed whatever he'd been signing.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," Mark said, smiling a bit sheepishly.

"That is okay," Jameson signed, smiling in response. "I am new to American Sign Language, so it most likely was not what I meant to say anyway."

"Really? I think you're doing fantastic," Mark replied, grinning brightly. Jameson blushed faintly, smile becoming shy.

"Well, thank you!"

Mark smiled brightly. "I think we're expected in the reading room," he said, offering Jameson his arm. "Care to accompany me?" Jameson giggled and hooked his arm with Mark's, following the other man to the reading room.

The reading went all right. Mark was brilliant, as usual, and despite his inability to speak, Jameson was also brilliant. Mark was reluctant to admit it, but he was actually looking forward to working with Jameson now. The young man was incredible for his part, and Mark was excited at the concept of working with Jameson and seeing what he did with the character. They went through the script quite a few times and by the time the director was satisfied for the day, it was dinner time. Mark sighed deeply. Benjamin and Chef were bound to have something made, but Mark didn't feel like going home yet. He loved his employees, but the house was too empty.

"Hey, Jameson!" Mark said, jogging after Jameson as the little gentleman walked toward the exit. Jameson paused and turned to look Mark, smiling and cocking his head curiously.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner with me?" Mark asked, looking down at Jameson.

"Oh! Yes, I would love to," Jameson agreed, smiling excitedly and hugging Mark's arm again when it was offered.

"How long have you been in America?" Mark asked, leading Jameson out to his car.

"Oh, I just arrived a few days ago!" Jameson replied, looking at the car admiringly.

"Oh, wow," Mark replied. "You're doing pretty good for a man fresh off the boat."

"Thank you!"

"I know the perfect restaurant," Mark said, grinning as he climbed into the car after Jameson and started it up. The restaurant was, luckily, right in the middle between the studio and Mark's house. It was a nice place, and Mark often went with friends. It was one of his favorite places, and he really hoped Jameson liked it.

"This place is very nice," Jameson commented, looking around.

"Nice, yes," Mark agreed. "But it's more casual than it appears, don't worry."

"Oh, good," Jameson said, nodding. "I'm not wearing my nice clothes."

"These aren't your nice clothes?" Mark replied, laughing and leading Jameson to a table.

"Of course not! These are just my casual clothes, I'd never wear my nice clothes to just a reading!" Jameson replied, giggling as Mark pulled his chair out for him.

Mark grinned and sat down across from him. "So. Tell me about yourself."

Jameson brightened and immediately started signing. Mark grinned and watched him, half reading the brit's signs and half just admiring him. He'd ordered wine for them at some point, but he wasn't paying any attention to the warming wine as he conversed with Jameson. Jameson was enchanting in a way that Mark hadn't encountered in a long time. It was odd, actually. Jameson was just as enchanting as Celine had been, and yet Mark barely found himself thinking about her as the night went on.

"Why did you invite me to dinner?" Jameson asked curiously, once they'd almost finished dinner completely.

"I wanted to get to know you," Mark said, grinning and distantly wondering when he'd moved his chair to sit closer to Jameson. "You seem just as interesting as I am."

"Oh, do I?" Jameson replied, quirking an eyebrow.

"You do," Mark agreed, leaning closer and gently touching Jameson's arm. "Besides, we play love interests, right? Gotta make sure we got that chemistry~" Mark trailed his hand down Jameson's arm and to his thigh.

"You are drunk," Jameson laughed, gently pushing Mark away.

"What, no way!" Mark laughed. "I'm mildly tipsy at most. Watch, I can recite all my lines."

"Oh, yeah? Prove it."

Mark grinned and leaned into Jameson's ear. "Oh, my dear," he recited. "The world has turned us against each other. The world has decided that we need not be together, but I've decided against it. You, my dear, are what I desire. My dear, my dear! What world could keep us apart? What world could ever?"

"You did wonderfully," Jameson laughed. "But that script sucks."

"It really fucking sucks," Mark agreed, leaning forward and kissing Jameson suddenly. Jameson squeaked and pushed Mark away, blushing.

"Well then," he signed hesitantly. "I see."

"You do?" Mark replied, cocking his head.

"I do," Jameson agreed, leaning closer to Mark and gently touching his chest. "Why don't we go back to yours?"

"Oh?" Mark leaned closer, smirking. "And why is that?"

"Well, you're just so much more experienced than I am," Jameson replied, looking up at Mark through his eyelashes. "You can teach me so many things~"

"Oh, that I definitely can, little boy~" Mark agreed, running his thumb across Jameson's bottom lip.

"That was an invitation for you to get up and pay so we can go," Jameson reminded, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh! Right! I knew that!" Mark laughed a bit and stood, going to pay their bill.

Jameson laughed softly, shaking his head fondly and following Mark up to the counter. Mark grinned and wrapped an arm around his hips as they walked out to his car. Mark opened the car door for Jameson before walking over to the drivers side. Was he really going to do this? Sure, he definitely wanted to, but there was a lot to consider. Celine had run off, sure, but they were still married! Was it right for him to do this? Plus, Jameson was still a young starlet! Getting involved with a married man - a married, older man with more pull in the film industry - was hardly going to do him any favors.

"Mark?" Jameson signed in front of Mark's face after snapping for his attention. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I-" Mark paused. "Hey, do you want to just talk for a bit at my place? Get to know each other a bit more."

"Of course," Jameson replied, smiling softly. "Whatever you want, Mark. Besides, I really do want to learn from you."

Mark smiled and nodded, starting the drive out to the manor. He was the one to even bring it up, was it right for him to stop it? Well, of course it was. It was a dumb idea to think he wasn't allowed to not change his mind. He was just being stupid.

"Oh, wow," Jameson signed, gasping as the manor came into view. "This is amazing! You live here!?"

"I do," Mark replied, laughing at Jameson's admiration. "I grew up here, inherited it from my parents."

"It is amazing," Jameson signed, admiring the house as Mark pulled up to it.

"I'm glad you like it," Mark said, parking and climbing out before jogging over to Jameson's side and letting him out. Jameson looked around in admiration, letting Mark lead him into the house.

"Master, you're home! We missed you during di-" Benjamin paused, blinking. "Oh. You have brought a guest. Shall we prepare another plate?"

"No, no, we already ate," Mark said, waving a hand dismissively and turning to Jameson. "Do you want coffee? Tea? Hot cocoa?"

"Hot cocoa?" Jameson asked, cocking his head.

"Of course," Mark said, turning to Benjamin. "Benjamin, can you prepare one mug of hot cocoa and a cup of coffee for me? We'll be in my study."

"Yes, sir," Benjamin said, rushing back to the kitchen.

"So. Benjamin?" Jameson asked, following Mark up to his study.

"He's my butler," Mark explained. "I only hired him a few months ago, after my childhood butler died. He seems to be adjusting well."

"He seems nice," Jameson said, looking around the manor. "This place is very pretty. It must have been amazing to grow up here."

"It was," Mark agreed, opening the door to his study. "Here we are."

"Thank you!" Jameson said, looking around as he entered.

"You're very enchanted with this place," Mark commented, sitting on the couch in front of his desk and patting the space next to him.

"It is lovely," Jameson agreed, sitting down beside Mark. "I've never been much one for decadence or all that. And I was pretty poor growing up, so this is quite the change."

"I see," Mark observed, leaning against the back of the couch. "This whole thing must be a rather big change for you." Take him. Take him, take him, make him yours. He can't scream, take him, claim him-

"It is," Jameson agreed, smiling brightly at Mark. "I like being here, though, in America. It's... fun."

Mark nodded, shaking his head free of any strange thoughts. "Well, I'm glad you like it here," he said, smiling softly and gently patting Jameson's knee.

Jameson looked at Mark's hand. "I noticed it earlier, your ring," he commented. "I'm not a homewrecker for coming onto you, right?"

"No, no, not quite," Mark assured. "She left. Ran away with someone, I think."

"Oh." Jameson frowned sympathetically. "I am sorry to hear that." Take him. He could replace her. A new leading lady, take him, he's yours, we can make him yours, take him-

Mark shrugged. "It's fine," he replied. "Honestly, I sort of understand. I get distracted a lot, and tend to focus more on my work than my friends."

"I see," Jameson said, nodding. "Well, regardless, nobody deserves to be left without so much as a goodbye."

Mark nodded in agreement and shifted closer to Jameson. "How about we talk about something more cheerful?" he said softly.

"Okay," Jameson agreed. "What do you want to talk about?"

"How about... how soft your lips are?" Mark purred, leaning closer and kissing Jameson again.

"I thought you just wanted to talk?" Jameson asked, pulling away from the kiss.

"I changed my mind," Mark replied, gently pushing Jameson into laying down and laying over him. "But I can change it again if you'd prefer?"

"No, I am quite all right with this," Jameson replied, pulling Mark into another kiss. Mark grinned into the kiss, pressing closer to Jameson and kissing the younger actor deeply.

"I could take you," he muttered, kissing down Jameson's neck and groaning as the smaller man ground up against him. "Does that scare you? Knowing that I could take you right here and even if you screamed, nobody would know?"

"No, it does not," Jameson replied, tilting Mark's head up. "Because you would not do that. You are a good man, Mark. I trust you."

"Thank you," Mark said, laughing faintly. "Have I ruined the mood now?"

"Not in the slightest," Jameson reassured, kissing Mark again. Mark grinned and leaned closer, quickly undoing Jameson's bowtie and vest before running his hands up the smaller's chest.

Jameson gasped softly, grinding up against Mark. Mark groaned and abandoned Jameson's chest in favor of laying back against the couch and pulling the younger into his lap, gripping Jameson's ass tightly and grinding up against him. Jameson moaned softly, biting his lip firmly.

"Somehow I didn't expect you to make noise," Mark muttered. "Is that rude of me?"

"A little," Jameson replied. "But I don't mind."

"Good," Mark replied, reaching up and unbuttoning Jameson's shirt. "You look beautiful."

Jameson blushed shyly and reached down, unbuttoning Mark's blazer and shirt as well. Mark grinned and bucked up against Jameson, kicking his lips.

"God, your ass is perfect," Mark muttered, returning his hands to Jameson's ass and groping him aggressively.

"Thank you," Jameson replied, blushing heavily.

"Here, get off real quick," Mark muttered, carefully pushing Jameson onto the couch again and standing.

"Where are you going?" Jameson asked.

"To get lube. Strip while I'm gone." Mark winked and left to get lube from his bedroom.

"Oh! Master, I've brought the drinks!" Benjamin said, approaching the door as Mark was walking away.

Mark swiftly turned back around and blocked Benjamin from entering. "Don't go in there. We'll come down and get the drinks when ready. Now go away."

Benjamin looked Mark up and down, blushing. "Yes, master," he said. Mark nodded and swiftly left, missing the jealous look on his butler's face as he walked away.

Mark returned within minutes. The house was big, but Mark was quite determined not to leave Jameson alone for too long. Jameson was laid out on the couch when Mark returned, his legs spread and spit-soaked fingers inside of himself. Mark paused, the air punched out of his lungs as he watched Jameson open himself up.

"Just couldn't wait for me, huh?" Mark purred, walking closer and running his hands up Jameson's legs. "Am I that handsome?" Jameson blushed and removed his fingers, biting his lip as Mark poured lube over his own fingers and swiftly replaced Jameson's

"Oh, fuck," Mark groaned at the tight heat of Jameson's body. "You feel wonderful. I can't wait to feel you around my cock~"

Jameson whined and pushed Mark away. Mark laughed, landing heavily on his back on the couch and shifting into sitting up. Jameson quickly unbuttoned Mark's slacks and pulled them down.

"Well, you're very forward," Mark laughed. "And here I was thinking you're the face if innocence~"

"Do you want me to be more innocent?" Jameson replied, climbing into Mark's lap. "Is my first time not enough?"

"Wait, hold on," Mark said. "Is your first time about to be on my study couch?"

"Yes. That is what I just said," Jameson replied, cocking his head. "Do you want to stop?"

"Not in the slightest," Mark said, positioning his cock and guiding Jameson down onto it. He groaned loudly, bucking up further into Jameson and drawing a low whine of pain and pleasure from the man above him.

"God, you look gorgeous," Mark moaned, rolling his hips. Jameson whined softly, placing his hands against Mark's chest for stability.

"You feel amazing," Mark praised, guiding Jameson into riding him. "You feel so good, I love it. So fucking amazing." Jameson blushed deeply, bouncing harder on Mark's cock.

Mark really wasn't going to last long. Along with the fact that it had been a while since he was with another person, Jameson was amazing. And something about the fact that it was his first time made it so much better already. Mark looked up, watching Jameson as the young starlet squeezed around him and came with a soft moan. Mark groaned and bucked up into Jameson as he came as well. Mark carefully pulled Jameson off of him and rolled them onto their sides, holding Jameson close.

"Well, we certainly didn't last long," he commented, holding Jameson's back against his chest so the younger could still sign.

"Oh. Is sex not always that fast?" Jameson asked.

"It can be," Mark said. "If we need to be quick. But I usually prefer to be a bit slower. I like to take care of my partners."

"Oh." Jameson blushed.

"Hey, where are you staying?"

"In a hotel room, for now. Are you going to call me a cab?"

"Actually, I was going to offer you a place to stay. The manor has plenty of room. As does my bed."

"Oh." Jameson blushed more. "Sure. But just until I find a flat for myself."

"Works for me."

-

The next day, during rehearsal, the director approached Mark.

"Hey, you and Jameson have a lot of chemistry," he said. "Thanks for making the effort to get along with him."

"Hey, it's my pleasure," Mark replied, looking across the room at Jameson as extras fawned over him. "We've worked something out."

[sorenvaxana]

FHS Headcanons

have fun reading

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-Freddy wants to grow his hair out, for absolutely no reason at all. He just wants to have rlly long hair and occasionally wears it in other styles other than a simple ponytail. He's probably asked Chica to put his hair in a braid before and it ended up being a rlly stiff and small braid cause his hair isn't that long for one yet

-Since Puppet kissed Mai on the cheek in Canción Marionette, I hc that in Puppet and Mai's family, they share a lot of various kisses w/ meanings of their own(platonically ofc) A kiss on the cheek means comfort, a kiss on the forehead means forgiveness/sorry, and a kiss on the temple means goodnight. (I like to think that Freddy would be feeling upset one day so Puppet kisses him on the cheek and Freddy is like WHAHHNDSNK,MGGATGAYGAY I'M GSY)

-So I wasn't planning on putting my design hcs here, but pleas let's all appreciate Joy w/ a split tooth for at least 5 seconds it's literally my aesthetic

-Felix has probably only watched 1 or 2 animes when he was younger, yet he's still somehow Spiritually seen every anime in existence. Abby will go to him crying over how her favorite died, by dramatically saying, at first; "FELIX!! FELIX IT'S HORRIBLE. FELIX OH MY GOD" and Felix will just be like "Oh you're at that part where [name] died aren't you" and it confuses the everloving fuck out of Abby

-Speaking of anime and Abby, imagine Bonnie and Abby being friends and bonding over anime!! And then Fox joins them later on. At first he kept saying anime was stupid or something until Bonnie let it slip that the new season of an anime was coming out in a few weeks and Fox immediately goes WHAT so he gets invited to watch anime w/ Abby and Bonnie and now they're. all friends who bond over anime. They probably cosplay occasionally too and make shitty joke tik toks

-Speaking of Bonnie being friends w/ Abby, I like to think that Bonnie can easily befriend literally any girl. The only ones he's not that close w/ are Meg, Toddy and Maggie but he still somehow manages to be on good terms w/ them. He also likes to have!! Sleepovers w/ the girls and he owns like 20 friendship bracelets and has his nails painted 24/7 

-Okay so I'm basically just projecting but: What if Bonnie had autism. Whereas he has some social anxiety, and generally just sticks to his current friends. Takes a lot of jokes too seriously sometimes(still has a sense of humor he just starts getting worried cause he can't tell if someone was being for real abt a particularly harsh joke they made) 

Rocks back and forth 24/7 and swings his arms back and forth when standing, occasionally clapping his hands in front of him and behind him when he does that.(if you don't know what I mean I'll try and draw what it looks like) Generally rlly silent w/ a group of people all having a conversation. Used to have a lot of trouble holding eye contact but when he realized he did that he started making a lot more eye contact than he needed to. Sticks to a specific schedule and starts getting worried if something prevents him from following this schedule. Starts brushing his fingers through his hair rapidly as an attempt to ease anxiety/stress 

-srry I projected like. A Lot There. anyways what if Loon had social anxiety. he's seen as a rlly shy character but like. idk man he comes off as more socially anxious to me instead of just simple Shy

-Also Freddy being sensitive to loud noises, he hates using public restrooms cause when you flush the toilet they always go HHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHGHGH and whenever an object looks like it's abt to fall but he can't like. get to it to put it somewhere else he'll immediately start sweating and mildly hyperventilate as he tries to mentally prepare himself if it falls and causes a loud noise. he can do better w busy restaurants and concerts but he still prefers quiet places 

-I found this hc somewhere else but like. Onnie w/ abandonment issues. that is all 

-I also found this hc somewhere else but like.    Bonnie just steals all the coats from his band members when he's bored. Their coats are Not Safe From Him. They Will Be Stolen. 

-Back to Bonnie, Abby and Fox, they all like to play mc together but they can never fucking find Bonnie when he's playing w/ them and they always see him saying the weirdest fucking shit in the chat. one time they saw "BonnieTheDestructer fell out of the world" while they're all in survival w/ no commands and Fox n Abby are just like what the FUCK 

-Fox and Bon never considered eachother friends at first, but since Fox was the only other person who knew of Bon's feelings for Bonnie, Bon always seeked help from him since Fox was close friends w/ Bonnie. Fox was slightly annoyed by this but him and Bon started getting closer and closer and Fox unintentionally became a wingman for Bon so like. no getting out of this now

-One day Bon decides to seek advice from Felix and Fede, as Fox and Joy's advice isn't helping and he's afraid of asking for help from anyone else. What he didn't know was that Bonnie was also seeking advice from Felix and Fede for the same thing, so Felix and Fede are trying their very best to get Bon and Bonnie together but also doing it at a slow pace bc it's funny seeing Bon and Bonnie gush over eachother while still oblivious to the others' feelings 

-On the same topic of that, I like to think Felix is the one giving Bon advice. Whereas he gives flirting tips and pickup lines to use on Bonnie while a very flushed Bon denies that he will use ANY of those 

-can't forget Fede giving advice to Bonnie, where he gives tips and hints on how to remain cool around Bon, and even giving advice on subtly flirting w/ Bon just to see how Bon would react. Also explaining the signs on someone liking you so Bonnie can look out for these signs w/ Bon 

-Felix giving advice to Bonnie and Fede giving advice to Bon is cool too tho

-Joy likes to make flower crowns!! She always makes flower crowns for Meg and Bon, and when she becomes friends w/ Fox and Bonnie, she makes flower crowns for them too!! 

-On the topic of that, Joy used to be rlly into arts and crafts when she was younger, so that's how she learned to make flower crowns. 

-Deuz considers himself a 100% straight man but he has. had gay thoughts before. he had gay thoughts like One time and it never happened again and he is still very confused abt it 

-Fox owning a gaming channel that he Occasionally does covers on, Bonnie having a channel that he posts shitposts on and guitar covers, and Abby having a channel where she posts reviews on anime, reaction videos and occasional covers too. Fox invites them to play a game w/ them one day that isn't minecraft. chaos ensues 

-When Freddy and Fox accidently kissed on Freddy's first day of school, everyone at the school definitely did Not let them live that down. They targeted Freddy mostly, calling him gay and the f slur, which slowly started to get to him and started making him question. "Wait, do I like guys?" cause he noticed that he's shown signs of liking guys before other than his accidental kiss w/ Fox. 

 So, w/ the help of his friends and Fred, Freddy managed to realize he was bi. All bc of his accidental kiss w/ Fox 

 -on the topic of Freddy being bi, he has chaotic bi thoughts 24/7 every time he meets someone attractive 

-ON THE TOPIC OF FREDDY BEING BI AGAIN, since he gains a crush on like every person he sees, Fred tries to be a wingman for him and it literally never works out. If Freddy ever decided to be a wingman for Fred tho, then he'd actually manage to get Fred a date somehow which would leave Fred flustered and Utterly confused. 

 also when they're both attracted to the same person? all hell goes down. 

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aight hope y’all had fun reading all that

[goldenpinof]

can i rant w/out being attacked? i'm 50 & very non-homophobic. i'm bi but married w/kids. in secondary school & uni years, i was madly in love w/a few guys who turned out to be gay but never told me until expressed my feelings. SO, this made me very bitter because i had NO chance with them. i guess you can say homosexuality pisses me off for that reason. bc of that, i've been accused of being phobic. i'm not. accusations TRULY HURT. one of my best friends is gay & i accept him unconditionally.

people are not progressing a lot more rheghkjhfergusf where do you live that they are??? also you know when people say “certain group is something” that doesn’t automatically mean ALL people in that group. if you are in the group but didn’t do something, good for you, pat yourself on the back, i don’t see why you would be offended if that’s not about you. but also, EVERYONE is problematic to the point that we all did or said something that’s not acceptable and is hurtful for someone. the way you work on stupid things you do - that’s what matters. really, that kind of reaction just shows that you don’t understand. the defense is good, but it’s unnecessary when you’re right. i’m bi too, much younger than you tho. if someone calls me homophobic i’d agree and ask what made them think that, because yeah, maybe i said something homophobic without actually meaning to and i definitely did that like 4-5 years ago. so even if i’m a part of lgbtq+ community and is a target for straights that doesn’t mean that i was never problematic. same shit with age, a LOT of people even my age, the fucking majority of it, are problematic as fuck. ofc it depends on the country and society you’re living in but PLEASE don’t say the world is progressing. if it were we would have had equal rights in more countries and we wouldn’t have had racist and homophobic Europe and the USA that everyone is looking at. i’m not even talking about Russia where people are putting gays and people who are questioning their gender (just questioning!) in clinics. and other countries all over the world that i can’t speak for but they have their own problems that no one is talking about worldwide. like, no. Dan is right. ofc you can defend yourself, but he’s still right. if you’re an exception, good for you, you grew out of society’s stupid norms. but did you really, if you’re still mad at guys who didn’t tell you that they were gay? no one is obliged to tell you about their sexuality. not a single person in this world. not telling =/= lying. and i’m not attacking you as a person, i’m just analyzing your asks and i sure do see a problem in them. because of the wording? idk. because i don’t know the whole story? idk. but the way i see it….you just confirmed Dan’s words.

P.S. “one of my best friends is gay” i fucking love this kind of sentences, ugh

[ajaegerpilot]

i didnt expect i was gonna work this weeknd as i’d thought i’d requested time off 

but

i had a good time this weekend. the reason i like this job is 100% the people. and people are transitory. so im just sendin out a lil moment to appreciate today

[sparklebitch]

Dan and Phil’s Impact

Okay this is going to be long and rambling because I’m trying to type it on my phone in the car and my thoughts are all over the freaking place and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read the whole thing I’ll put a tldr at the end lmao.

So first of all I’ve been watching Dan and Phil since like? 2014~ And for a while there wasn’t a minute that went by where I didn’t think about them. Their videos got me through so much shit in my life. Even dumb video game videos were like my reprieve from real life. And yeah a lot of stuff was super cringy and I was definitely borderline one of those creepy people that wanted to know everything about their lives (obvs not anymore lol) but that aside they were such good freaking influences on me? I looked up to them so much and, sure, I have a lot of role-model-worthy people in my life, but no one like them.

Everyone around me is so aggressively religious (although a lot of them are totally cool about it and not bad peoples !! But the rest of them are total dicks) and I felt like I couldn’t... question myself I guess? About literally anything. I felt like I couldn’t question religion, sexuality, the things I liked, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. It was like everyone’s lives revolved around church stuff and people were basically born knowing what they were going to do? And there I was, an awkward, sexually confused, homeschooler who had 2 friends that she wasn’t even that close to. I felt like I was the only one in the world like this. Everyone seemed to have a place in the world, except me. I often thought that maybe it was a mistake that I was in this world, that there was some cosmic screw up and that I was never meant to be born. I felt incomplete and it was so confusing and horrible. I was sure that that feeling was never going to go away. I had no one to talk to, no one to explain to me that it was okay to screw up. It wasn’t the end of the world to question things or yourself, everything was going to be okay. All I wanted in my life was for someone to tell me that.

Then I found Dan and Phil. And yeah, they’re two British boys on the internet that will never know who I am. But that’s okay. They don’t need to know me to have an impact on my life. I mean, who’s ever been impacted by a song? A movie, a book, an actor, an artist? The human race is always searching for someone or something to look up to. Religion, famous people, a father figure, a friend. Someone. And that’s what they were to me.

People didn’t understand what it was that I liked about them. And, if I’m being 100% honest, I guess I didn’t really know either. Sure, they’re funny, and the chemistry between the two is very compelling but there was just something about them that spoke to me. I loved them. More than I had loved anything in my life. I looked up to them, and listened to the things they said, listened to the things they believed it. Through them I discovered so many of the things that I love in my life. I started writing and drawing because of them! It’s crazy to think that I am the person that I am today because of them. I can’t imagine what I would be like if I hadn’t watched their videos.

There’s a lot of uncertainty in my life right now as I’m finishing up getting my General Associates and I’m in the process of starting a daycare with my older sister. It’s a lot for me to process because for the longest time all I wanted to do was get away from here. I wanted to go somewhere and be someone new. And it wasn’t until recently that I realized that’s not what I actually wanted. I love my family and my friends, I love living here (aside from the bigots but they’re everywhere so there’s no escaping them). What I really, truly wanted was to be myself. It wasn’t my family and this town that I wanted to get away from, it was the me that I was pretending to be. I just wanted to be myself, that was all. I didn’t care if it was in a big town with new people, i just wanted people to know me. I wish I knew this back then, then maybe I wouldn’t have gone into a tailspin when I was getting ready for college but hindsight I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I finished high school it was like I was paralyzed. I didn’t know how to make decisions for myself or do anything on my own. All I knew was that I was not straight, seemingly surrounded by homophobes, and I was very very tired. So, toward the end of summer my mom pushed me enrolled me at a community college near home (which I am grateful for lol) and then I was going to transfer to a university after 2 years. Things started to feel better after that. Around that time I also started taking medication for depression and anxiety and it has only completely changed my life. No longer am I the super quiet painfully awkward person who’s so afraid to say something wrong that she instead stays silent, not telling anyone about my interests or passions in fear that I would be ridiculed, hiding core parts of me while the whole world passes by. I was talking and making jokes, I wasn’t constantly terrified to talk to people or to even simply leave my house to go places. Things were better. I was happier!

But as the time for me to transfer to a university drew near that paralyzing feeling crept back into my skin. I hated my classes. I hated college. I was suddenly plunged back into the world of endlessly scrolling through social media and watching the same shows on tv over and over, isolating myself from everyone and everything trying to ignore the world around me. I felt like everything was hopeless again. I was only occasionally watching dan and Phil videos at this time, having very reluctantly grown away from them (it was a sad day when I realized that I didn’t care if I skipped a video or two. I literally cried that day). But I was bored then, so I started watching their videos again. This was around the time that dan posted his video on depression (that’s a while other long ass post I could make but probably won’t because I’m already tired of typing) and i damn near called my mom (even though she was just downstairs) on the spot to tell her what I was feeling. Hearing that there was someone else out there that felt like I was was enough. But not only that, he explained that recovery is not a straight road. There are twists and turns, there are setbacks. It’s not like I was going to get better and everything was going to magically be awesome all the time. Some stuff was going to suck. I was going to go through shitty times and that was okay.

Because of him, I ended up going back to the doctor and explaining that my meds weren’t working anymore, and I got it taken care of. I feel so much fucking better now than I did before, and I know that it’s okay if I don’t always feel this way. I told my parents that I didn’t want to go to a university and they were okay with it, provided that I finished my 2 year degree at the community college. And while some things still suck, and I’m still worried about my future and whether or not I’m going to meet someone and fall in love, things are absolutely positively 1000% better than they have ever been. And a lot of it is thanks to them. Obviously it was me who actually took the steps I needed to to get here, but it was because of their being my role model that I had the courage to get where I am today.

Dan and Phil have such a unique platform and following. They could say jump and so many people would (metaphorically ofc) jump off the cliff, me included. But they don’t do that. They use their fame to positively impact people. They use their platform to encourage people and talk about important things in life. They share things about their lives in the hopes that it will help even 1 person out there... and I’m not the only one who they’ve positively impacted. The number of people that owe everything to them is crazy.

Okay so now I’m going to go a little bit into labels. (Not too much tho I’m seriously tired of typing lol). Dan talked about them a lot in his video. An entire freaking chapter of it was dedicated to labels. When I was younger I knew that I liked girls. I liked boys too though, so I just shrugged it off as Really wanting to be friends with girls. I didn’t know what the word gay meant until I was like 12 because I was a very sheltered child. My parents never talked about it and the only time I ever remember hearing the word before then was when one of my siblings called another sibling “gay” at the dinner table. The only thing I knew about the word was that my parents Did Not Like it. While I eventually stumbled onto the internet and learned a Lot of things, and a lot about labels, I became overwhelmed. There were so many words with so many meanings, and lot of times people didn’t agree on what the literal definition was. (Like bisexual meaning Only men+women vs. just like.. more than just 2+ genders) So for a long time I identified as pansexual because.. I didn’t know what to do. And based on my experiences on the internet, being bi was basically saying that you were excluding people. Idk it was fucked. The label ‘pan’ didn’t really feel like it fit me either, but it worked for the time being.

Dan’s comments on labels really got me thinking. I don’t think I’m a lesbian, but I don’t really know about bisexual either. When he said that he loved to use the word queer it just.. fucking hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. I literally couldn’t breath. And it’s not like I’ve never heard people use the word queer. Tons of people identify as queer. But it was just something about the way he explained it? And maybe it was just the fact that it was him explaining it because, as I said before, I look up to him. He has a huge impact on my life. Saying queer gives me comfort. It feels less... restrictive I guess, for a lack of better words. I don’t know if this will be /the/ label for me, but that’s not the point. There doesn’t have to be a label for me. I, no one, should have to be pressured into finding a label so that other people have something to call you?? Fuck labels. Fuck people who pressure you into picking one. You be you.

So, in conclusion (honestly I feel like this has all been so incoherent I apologize) I don’t want to hide forever. I don’t. I hope that some day I can have even a fraction of the courage that Dan has to tell the people that I care about who I truly am. And the first step is telling someone.

So, to everyone who sees it here, most of which probably know or don’t care,

I’m bisexual, bitch. And I use the word queer.

It took so much fucking courage for dan to post that video and I have crazy amounts of respect for that man. I’ve said it a thousand times already, but I’m going to say it again. I’m so. Fucking. Proud of him. And I know he’s probably going to get thousands of stories like this one (if he hasn’t gotten that many already) but I’m going to tag him anyway. @danielhowell , you’ve changed my life. You’ve changed millions of people’s of lives for the better. Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done.

Tldr; dnp mean everything to me, even though I’ve grown away from them, they have been and always be a big part of who I am and i am so fucking proud of Dan.