#and if I want to do anything fun that isn't online I have to drive

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Mort: Ragnarick" was pure fun, but a different kind of fun than "Rickfending Your Mort" and "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie."

"Rickfending Your Mort" was a laid-back clip show that gave the viewer a break after the insanity of "Unmortricken"--a smart decision but not one with a lot of substance. "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie" has been controversial. I thought it was entertaining, but it would've worked better as a YouTube short.

If "Unmortricken" represented lore episodes at their best, "Mort: Ragnarick" was the best of classic Rick and Morty adventures: a wildly imaginative plot, goofy satire, fantasy science and Rick and Morty working together as a duo, reminding us how much they need each other.

Rick's the driving force behind these adventures, but without Morty, he's just a miserable old man trying to distract himself. Morty's the heart and voice of reason. He also gives Rick something to live for. Without him, Beth, Jerry or Summer, why do anything?

Rick pretends to live for science, but "science" just caused decades of grief and isolation. His family isn't a concept; it's an entity that loves him back.

Bigfoot, an evil pope, Pokeballs, Valhalla, clone bodies, infinite energy sources, zombie Summer, Rick screaming "PO-O-O-O-OPE!": only Rick and Morty could combine all those concepts into one cohesive episode. I never thought "Wow, that took me out of the story." The Pokeball came close, but the end credits scene tied it all together.

Jerry's scene was a standout, too. Chris Parnell's reading of "Nana!" was genuinely sweet. It seems like Jerry's becoming a (mostly) willing participant in Rick's schemes instead of a helpless guinea pig. Is Rick learning that releasing his iron grip on his family makes them more attached to him, not less?

I also loved it when the Vikings called Rick a witch. He loves crystals, plays with magic, has two crows as familiars: damn right, he is!

You have to suspend your disbelief a couple of times, mainly when Bigfoot attacks Rick in the kitchen (he crushed Rick earlier like it was nothing, but now Rick walks away with a few scratches?) Still, the little character moments overshadow these flaws.

Judging by old posts that I've seen floating around, I think Rick and Morty's relationship is finally becoming what fans wanted it to be in seasons 1-3. Rick's still mean, but he's less dominant and more of Morty's mischievous co-conspirator. An alien mobster freaking out in "The Jerrick Trap" because of Rick's "touch my grandson and die" policy is straight out of fanon.

Rick's more physically gentle, and Morty responds in kind. He grabs and supports him when Bigfoot attacks him at home and touches his arm during their weird, overdramatic Bigfoot send-off. His pained cry of "Rick!" when Bigfoot nearly crushes him is heart-wrenching. Operation Phoenix is back online, but Morty's tired of watching him die!

Season five is when Rick started showing emotions on his face besides that cold, pissed-off glare--we all know the one--and in season seven, it's accelerated to Rick crying in front of others. He matches Morty's feelings instead of pretending that he's above human emotions.

Needless to say, dudebros have been flooding Adult Swim's Instagram comments and Twitter replies with "Rick and Morty is shit now!" "Rick's too nice!" "Rick and Morty has gone woke!" Justin Roiland's firing gave them more fuel, but they started even while he was still on the payroll.

Their favorite line is "Rick isn't Rick anymore!" And they're right. Rick's not the asshole from seasons 1-2 who had a couple of redeeming qualities. He's not the monster that he was in season three and parts of season four. He's not the defeated man in season five who started to realize that he's hurting people but still wanted Morty to look after him like a child.

Season six is when he started to grow up--not a lot, but enough that he began taking on adult responsibilities instead of thinking he's a teenage boy who sees another teenager as his peer. I wish we saw more therapy appointments, but while they're mostly off-screen, we're definitely seeing the effects.

This doesn't make Rick a great person or atone for what he's done. Some of his crimes are beyond atonement, and not just the obvious ones like blowing up planets. This is a universe where everyone has a body count and events that should've destroyed Earth have no effect on civilization. Death and destruction don't mean that much.

His worst crimes are the personal ones: destroying Morty's psyche in "The Vat of Acid Episode," treating his family like garbage for most of season three. You can't atone for that. You can't apologize for that.

However, I don't only judge characters by their past. I judge them by their capacity to change.

Walter White is a brilliant character, but he's not a personal favorite because his arc is a slow descent into hell. Rick's slowly climbing out of his crater, and while it doesn't erase the past, it's still happening. For me, that's more satisfying than watching a monster become a bigger monster.

Of course, he's still not above cosplaying as Odin while wearing a golden crown that literally says "GOD." But the former "no girls allowed" alpha male has become a dedicated therapy patient who's also a thirst object that would make bros cry about double standards. Sure, Rick, you're a god, now put on that weird half-shirt and prance around a little.

[ssalballoon]

i wanna get better at art but dont know how to start ^^' whats a good way to get into studying anatomy and improving as an artist? tysm 💗 love your art soso much

more art converts 😼 yay!!

i think these asks were sent by different people but they're pretty related + a lot of my advice is the same! so i'll answer these together under the cut (it's so long oh gosh)

ok first of all i'm very flattered that people are asking me for art advice but i'm really not the most equipped person to ask TTOTT I've never been deliberately studious with my art so I feel bad offering advice when I've mostly gotten by with just drawing fanart and ocs a lot... my rate of improvement has therefore been slow, but I've still had an enjoyable learning experience so perhaps from that angle my input may help! i'll mainly refer you to external resources that have helped me

For anatomy + drawing humans:

1) I know I'm not diligent enough to sit down and study muscles, so instead I make it more enjoyable by drawing my favorite characters in a pose that targets the muscles I want to practice! (i default to drawing ppl naked because of this lol) This isn't the most efficient, but it serves as good motivation to get practice in. (honestly a lot of my general art advice has the undercurrent of becoming so obsessed with characters to drive your motivation to draw even when artblocked/ struggling with doubts!)

2) I want to refer you to Sinix's Anatomy playlist! Although Sinix focuses more on digital painting, he gives simplified anatomy breakdowns that include how muscles change shape under different movements/poses, which is crucial for natural human posing. the static anatomy diagrams from Google don't really help for that

3) What's just as important as anatomy is gestures! (especially important if you're used to drawing non-human objects I think!) Making figures look like they have flow to them will sell the "naturalness"(?) to your anatomy. If you have in person life drawing sessions accessible near you I'd recommend trying those out, or if you prefer trying it digitally there's this website!

This helps you not only get a sense of human proportions, but also natural posing! I'd limit the time taken to draw the poses from like 10 seconds to 1 minute(?) for quick gestures, and maybe 1 minute to 5mins(for now!! typically they go much longer) to study human proportions. I'd say don't spend a lot of time on them, repetition is more important!

4) I've also picked up on useful anatomy tidbits from artists online! Looking at how practiced/ professional artists stylize a body helps me focus on what the essential details are to convey a particular form (looking up "human muscles" and being hit with anatomy diagrams full of all the smallest details can be overwhelming! what do you even focus on?! so these educated simplifications really help me) Like Emilio Dekure's work! Look how simplified these figures are, and yet contain all the essential information to convey the sense of accurate form (even though it's highly exaggerated!)

(shamefully admits I've never studied from actual anatomy books so I can't recommend anything in that sense TTOTT)

For general improvement:

1) I highly recommend Sinix's Design Theory playlist and Paintover Pals! (+ his channel in general) You don't have to put them immediately into practice, but I think these are good fundamental lessons to just listen to and have them in the back of your mind to revisit another day. Plus these videos are just fun and very approachable! Design theory fundamentals are essential to creating appeal and directing a viewer's attention, and critiquing others' work/ seeing his suggestions are a good way to practice noticing areas of improvement+ solutions yourself!

2) If you prefer a more formal teaching resource, the Drawabox YouTube course covers all the basic fundamentals of drawing in short lessons. But honestly if I were starting out, this would be a little intimidating for me (and even now it still is! I haven't done all of them) But even if you don't watch them, the titles should give you an idea of the basic concepts that are valuable to pick up. I think it would be nice to keep in mind and revisit once in a while as you learn!

(One lesson I do encourage you to watch is the line control one! A confident continuous line conveys motion and flow much better compared to discontinuous frayed lines which I think is good to practice early by drawing from the wrist and shoulder)

3) As a universal piece of advice: Please please please use references! Use a reference for literally everything, observing is how we learn! You'll find that a lot of things you thought you knew what they looked like are inaccurate by memory alone. Also, trace! This is solely for your practice, tracing then freehanding has helped me grasp proportions when I was struggling! (of course don't post these online if you traced from art)

I've found that being able to compile references into easy to access boards has been very helpful in encouraging me to use references more. For PC, I think they use PureRef (free/pay what you want), and for iPad I use VizRef. VizRef is a one time purchase (which was definitely worth the $3.99 USD price imo)

4) On that note, try building up the habit to observe from media + real life and make purposeful comments about what you see! Like hey, when I bend my knee, the muscles/fat in my thighs and calves bulge outwards, I should draw that next time. Purposeful observation carries over to your overall visual library, and it's a little thing that adds up over time

5) For motivation, get into media you really enjoy, or make your own characters! The way I started art more seriously was by drawing fanart + OCs from anime that I liked ^^ For OCs it really encourages you to draw more because you're the primary creator of their art! Also you gotta see a lot of good art to make good art! Watching visually appealing media (like animation with appealing stylization/simplification) can passively help you learn just by observation.

ok wow I could go on but this is already a lot of information TTOTT my main aim for this reply is basically: don't let anything discourage you from learning to draw!! drawing is so fun and brings me a lot of joy ^^ practicing often will of course help you improve, and the way to incentivize that is by having fun with it! i hope this could help!💞

[ahgasegotarmy116]

L0v3 M3

Summary: You're both each other's escape but he can't tell you who he really is... Pairing: y/n x idol Yeonjun Word Count: 4.2k~ Warnings: Like one or two curse words lmao... that's it a/n: Requested by a lovely anon <3 I hope you like it :)

🟢  y/n is online

🟢 Yejun is online

Yejun: How's your day been? I haven't heard from you today :/

y/n: I am so sorry Yejun! Things have been pretty hectic at work and I wasn't even able to eat lunch today :(

Yejun: Oh my gosh that's horrible! How are you feeling? You must be exhausted! Have you eaten yet?

y/n: *send picture of your favorite food* Yup! I figured I would treat myself today!

Yejun: You definitely deserve it after the crazy day you had!

y/n: Enough about me though, how have you been? Did you do anything fun today? I know you said it was your day off so I hope you did :)

Yejun: Not really, I hung out with one of my roommates since we both ended up having today off so we just played some video games.

y/n: Oh did you guys try out that new game you said was coming out soon?

Yejun: Yeah we did! It came out on Friday but we didn't have time to check it out until now so it was fun trying to figure it out together. 

y/n: Did you win?

Yejun: Of course

y/n: As expected from my champion <3

I smile down at my phone after rereading your message for the 10th time before responding. "What are you smiling at?" Beomgyu says walking into the living room after waking up from his nap. "Nothing" I say locking and putting away my phone before another ding rings out notifying the both of us (unfortunately) of another one of your messages coming through.

"Doesn't look like it's nothing" Beomgyu says tilting his head trying to see my phone hidden behind my back. "Well either way it isn't any of your business I say defensively. "Yeonjun be honest, you're still talking to that girl aren't you?" he says, obviously disappointed in me. 

"So what? What's wrong with that?" I say continuing to defend myself. "She doesn't know who you are right? You know it could cause a huge scandal if-" "I'm being careful. But no, she doesn't know who I am. I know better than that" I say hoping the conversation is over and we can move onto something else. "You better..." he says trailing off.

"What's that supposed to mean? Last time I checked I was the hyung here. You really think you can talk to me like that?" I spit out getting fed up with him. "Okay I'm sorry I'll stop bugging you about it damn" he mumbles. "I'm sick of your disrespect Beomgyu. When are you gonna sto-" "Yeonjun that's enough" Soobin says walking into our dorm trying to defuse the situation. 

"You know what I'm done, I'm leaving" I say walking towards the door and heading outside. Luckily some of our staff are still hanging around outside since they had just dropped Soobin off. "Can you take me for a drive? I just need to get out of my head for a while" I ask knowing that taking a walk instead isn't really possible with my current idol status.

The staff nods and opens the car door for me before going over to the drivers side. "Do you have anywhere you would like to go or just somewhere away from the city?" he suggests and I'm happy to hear that he's able to read my mind. "Away from the city please, I need to get away from all the chaos" to which he nods and starts the car doing just as I had asked. 

I pull out my phone after our drive is underway and I remember that I had left you on read.

🟡 Yejun is busy → 🟢 Yejun is online

🟡 y/n is busy

The last message you had sent me was asking if I had any plans for the rest of the night. I'll be honest I downloaded this app with the intention of pretending to be someone else. I just wanted to be a normal guy, talking to normal people and having normal conversations. But when you're an idol that privilege gets ripped away from you and you don't realize how much you're going to miss it until it's too late. So my name on here is Yejun and he's basically me except with a new face and a new name.

Choi Yejun, Yes I know very creative but I did't want to lie too much

Age: 24

Birthday: September 12th which isn't a complete lie because it's the 12th in America but the 13th in Korea

Height: 6ft, yes I did add on an inch okay, sue me!

Blood Type: A

MBTI: ENFP

Education: Batchelor's degree in Music with a minor in dance. This one however is a lie laced with some truth okay, let me have this one. 

I got the pictures of "Yejun" off of instagram after looking through hundreds of accounts, trying to find one that fit my vibe. Luckily the account that I take the pictures from belongs to a very very narcissistic guy so I'm constantly getting new picture to send you if I need to. Do I feel bad lying to you? Yes of course.

I wasn't even planning on keeping this account for long. I just wanted to try and use it as some sort of escape. We met by chance and somehow along the way we just started messaging each other everyday and it's gotten to the point that I feel like there's something missing if I haven't heard from you that day. 

Some days are busier than others and I hate it. I wish I could just spend the day with you. Not just messaging you on my phone or computer but really spend time with you, in person. Somewhere along the way I started to fall for you. Don't ask me why or how, it kind of just, happened. I noticed it when I started to compare every woman I encountered to you, and none of them could live up to what you mean to me. Call me crazy but something in me is holding out the hope that someday we can be together, or at least meet. 

We've been talking to each other for months but I'm afraid that when I finally gain the courage to call you that you'll recognize my voice and that could be the beginning of the end for us. You're not even into Kpop like that, let alone my team (it hurt my ego a little bit but I got over it) but it still scares me. My attention is soon brought back to my phone as I see that you've come back online and responded to my message.

🟡 y/n is busy → 🟢 y/n is active

🟢 Yejun is active 

 Yejun: Hey sorry I got busy there for a second but no I'm free for the rest of the night. What about you? 

y/n: I'm free as well :)

Yejun: Good

y/n: Good?

Yejun: Yeah because you can pay attention to me after neglecting me all day :(

y/n: I already told you I was busyyyyyy 

Yejun: Yeah I know I was just teasing

y/n: If it makes you feel any better I really missed you <3

My breath hitches a bit at the confession. It's nothing big but for some reason it has my heart racing nonetheless.

Yejun: Yeah you better! But I missed you more ;)

y/n: Good, what are you up to?

Yejun: Nothing really, just relaxing, trying to clear my head.

y/n: Oh, is there something wrong?

Yejun: It's just that things have gotten really busy at work and I feel like I'm being stretched way too thin.

y/n: Could you maybe talk to your boss? See if there's anyways that someone could help you out?

Yejun: There's already four other people working with me so they can't really afford to spare anyone else. Plus it would throw us all off if someone else did join this late in the game. 

y/n: Oh okay that's understandable. You guys don't want to mess up the synergy you have going on right?

I smile happy that you're starting to understand me and my world without really knowing it. 

Yejun: Exactly! I couldn't have put it better myself :)

y/n: You know you can tell me anything right? I know that you like to keep things to yourself about you work and everything but if you're struggling with say your friends or you're feeling down then I'm always here <3

Yejun: Thank you y/n I really appreciate you and our friendship so much! You have no idea how much you've helped me since we first met. Life for me is just so fast paced so it's really nice to have someone who likes me for me and not for what I can do for them you know?

y/n: I totally understand, I feel the same way about you. Even though we haven't met in person I feel like you're the best friend I've ever had. Like a true friend, so thank you Yejun. You've made my days so much brighter and my nights so peaceful. I just don't know what I would do without you.

It's really me that needs you. Everything in my life from the age of 15 to 19 has been about debuting and now that I have it's just, well I don't know, things are just not the way I thought they would be. Seeing my Sunbaes debut before me just made me so excited at the prospects of someday following in their footsteps. I kept counting the days, waiting for that time to come when they would finally tell us we were going to debut. 

I was the first member of the team that would become Tomorrow x Together and the other guys trickled in bit by bit in 2016 and soon we were put together. It still took us about three years until we debuted but we worked hard every single day until we finally made it! 

A few months after we debuted though the pandemic hit, and everything about the way that idols and idol groups promoted their music and performed had completely changed. The day they told us that BTS had to postpone their world tour was the day that I knew everything was going to change.

It was hard being a new idol group and not being able to get the love, energy and support that most groups get. It just makes all of the hard work worth it when you get to see the look on people's faces and hear them cheering for you. Although my idol journey hasn't been the same as idol groups that debuted before me I wouldn't change it for the world.

The pandemic brought our team closer, but it also pushed us apart at times. Having to live together with the uncertainty of it all was nerve wrecking. It's all thanks to our Moa though, they really kept us going when times got tough. But even after the pandemic started to calm down I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that I had lost something and I wasn't sure how to find it. That's when I found you.

I had wanted to find some way I could escape from this whole idol world and just be me. Not Tomorrow x Together Yeonjun, just me Choi Yeonjun the kid who worked so hard for his dream and made it come true. I want people to like me for me, but things started to change with the people around me when I debuted. Some idols would try to befriend me, only to get closer to BTS and the friends that I had made before when I was still a trainee started to treat me differently now that I was "famous". 

The members of BTS and especially Namjoon hyung really helped me navigate this whole scene and always gave me the best advice. I watched them grow, from their tiny debut showcase and their even smaller fan meet, to their first win with I Need U. Everyday since the beginning I've seen what they're capable of and I want us to be that kind of group someday too.

Thanks to them they've opened up a lot of doors not only for us but for the whole industry. I'm always thinking of them and how much I've grown to love an support them, I always have and I always will. Plus they're all just so hilarious, they never fail to bring a smile to my face and I could never thank them enough. 

I know I'm rambling but those are the thoughts that go through my head when I try to process my life these days. There are days I want to say "Fuck this" and just leave, but there are other days that I just couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. It's come to a point where I don't think I could go on without being a part of this team, and that's gotten really unhealthy for me. This whole mindset I've found myself trapped in for these past few weeks has been utterly exhausting and the only thing that's kept me going has been you. 

I know I have my members and Moa and the company to rely on but I just want to be seen as a person, not an idol or an asset, just me. You've really brought me back down and helped me embrace my humanity again, as dramatic as that sounds it really is true. It's easy getting wrapped up in the glitz and the glamor of it all but having you really reminded me that I'm still my own person apart from all of this. It's just, I don't know...freeing I guess? Being able to just be myself, but I hate that I can't be my true self with you. 

I've adopted this persona that I have to stick to, for both of our safety. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I want to keep you away from all of this and keep your view of me as the same guy you've known this whole time. Yes with a new face and some tweaked physical traits but it's still me. I hope that someday if we get to meet that you won't hold it against me. I hope you'll realize that It was safer this way because I really want to keep you in my life but only for as long as you let me. 

y/n: Are you still there?

Yejun: Yeah I'm sorry I've got my head stuck in the clouds but I really do feel the same way :)

y/n: What's got you so distracted?

Yejun: Just life I just can't seem to separate myself from work you know? My work life balance isn't the best but unfortunately with the kind of job I have it's pretty much impossible to do so. 

y/n: I swear you get more and more cryptic everyday 

Yejun: I'm sorry I'll stop talking about it. What are you up to?

y/n: Nothing really, I just put on a show that I've seen before as background noise but I really have kept my night clear to talk to you and I'm glad it worked out :)

Yejun: Me too, but hey I have a question for you. Well more of a proposition...

y/n: You're scaring me but I'm all ears

Yejun: Would you maybe be free to talk right now? I just really need to hear your voice.

I've told you time and time again that I didn't feel comfortable talking on the phone but I think I need to make an exception for this time.

y/n: Are you sure? I mean yes I would love to talk to you but I just know you've been uncomfortable with the idea of calling but yes! Call whenever :)

I ask the staff to pull over into a pretty much abandoned parking lot hoping this will provide me with enough privacy. I step out of the car and let him know that I'm going to take a call and it might take a while, to which he nods and tells me not to wander off too far. 

My thumb hovers over the call button for a few moments before I finally take a deep breath and press it to start a call. It rings a few times and I can feel the anxiety build with every ring that plays until I hear a click telling me you've picked up. 

"Yejun?" I hear your voice resounds melodically.

"Um yeah hi" I say in english. Us living in different countries has also proved to be an obstacle in our relationship but it's honestly for the best. 

"Oh my gosh is it really you? I can't believe I'm actually hearing your voice!" you say clearly excited which releases so much tension I've been holding in my body all day. 

You've sent me voice notes before and if I'm honest I listen to them about twice a day but who knew that something as simple as actually speaking to you could make me feel so at peace. 

"Me neither, I don't know why I was so scared to call you but I'm so happy we are finally doing it" I say feeling like a new layer has been added onto our relationship.

"Me too, you've been sounding really down today though. I know you've already told me about it but is there anything I can do to help?" you ask.

"No it's okay love, why don't you tell me about your day instead?" I let out and start looking up at the stars. 

"Love?" you repeat, clearly surprised.

"Shit I mean-"

"No it's okay, I like it" you respond and I can hear how shy you've gotten from the accidental term of endearment.

"Really?" I ask now feeling embarrassed but also happy that you don't mind if I call you that. 

I've gotta try out other pet names to see how they will make you react because even if I can't see you I can clearly tell you're blushing. 

"Really" you say and the line goes silent for a while, neither of us knowing what we should say next. 

"So are you gonna tell me about your day silly?" I resort to, amused by your shyness. 

"Oh right, well when I got there this morning we..." you say telling me every little thing you could think about that had happened you today, and I mean it when I say that you tell me every detail but I can't help but find it incredibly endearing. 

"Yejun?" you say catching me off guard, I'm not really used to responding to that name when it's said aloud so it took me a second. 

"Hmm?" I hum in acknowledgement having lost track of your story.

"Were you even listening to me?" you laugh, clearly knowing the answer already.

I list off a few things that I had thought I had heard but unfortunately had gotten wrong.

"Yeah you said something about spilling your tea on yourself while you were at home and had to change again before you left right?"

"It was actually coffee and I spilled it on my coworker and they had to send it out for dry cleaning but luckily he keeps a spare set of clothes at his desk"

"Oh yeah and he said that you had to give him the money to pay for the dry cleaning"

"No he was really chill about it and I offered to buy him lunch as an apology so I went to go pick something up for us on our break so it would be ready for us during lunch"

"Right right and you went to go get fried chicken and they took forever" 

"I swear your mind is something else because it sounds like you know the plot but somewhere along the way lost all the details of the story" you say laughing at me and I know know now that I got it bad. I know it might seem foolish to say that I'm in love with someone that I haven't even met but there's just something about you.

"I'm sorry love, I just really love the sound of your voice so I kind of got lost in it. I'm not ignoring you I promise I guess that I'm just getting a little tired"

"Oh so I'm boring you to sleep?" you say sternly

"No y/n that's not what I meant I-"

"I know, I just wanted to hear how you would sound when you were panicked" 

"You're mean" I pout, really feeling scared that I already messed things up between us.

"Aw you love me" you say so simply that I choke on air before my mind can even fully process what she had just said.

"You okay over there?" you laugh clearly amused at my reactions to your teasing. 

"Yep *cough cough* all good" I say trying to calm myself down, this is so embarrassing, I don't even know how to respond to subtle flirting from you. It's come so easily to me when I'm with my members and even Moas but I guess since I don't have feelings for any of them like I do with you it's just a little more nerve wracking.

"Maybe I should let you go so you can get some sleep. It's probably really late over there right?" 

"Yeah I guess you're right. I just wish that the time difference didn't make things so difficult for us" I say taking a deep breath in and letting it out to calm myself. 

"Me too, but we finally spoke on the phone so at least that's something! We should do this more often!" you say trying to cheer me up. 

"Definitely! I'll let you know next time I'm free to call and you do the same for me okay? Maybe we could squeeze each other into our schedules a bit more" I say hopeful that something like that might work. 

"Sounds good. Goodnight Yejun" you let out in a melancholy tone.

"Have a good rest of your day love" I finish before hanging up. 

After finally getting back to the city and making our way to the dorm I'm reminded of the way I left in the middle of an argument. 

"Are you going to be okay Yeonjun?" the staff asks, clearly concerned knowing that something set off the need for this impromptu trip. "Yeah I just lost my temper but I'll be fine. Thank you for tonight, I know I kept you out for a lot longer than you're used to". "It's okay kid, I knew you needed it. Let me know if you need anymore late night drives again. Oh and Yeonjun" he calls out before I'm able to close the door. "I hope she's worth it" he says with a sad smile, clearly aware of what had just happened. "She is, don't worry" I say giving him a shy smile in return. "Have a good night, get home safe" I say and close the door after we finished saying our goodbyes. 

Walking in the door I'm greeted by the sight of Beomgyu sitting in the living room with a dim light providing us with a soft golden glow. "I really don't want to hear it tonight" I say starting to make my way to my room. "Please, I just want to apologize" he lets out, clearly remorseful. I stop in my tracks and think for a second before finally caving and sitting down on the seat opposite of him and wait for him to continue. 

"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today, it was uncalled for and I know that" he says pausing, giving me a chance to respond. "I know you're just concerned for the team and you're right, we have a duty to each other as a team but also we have a duty to each other as people. This has been going on for months and no one else has found out besides you because you're nosy" I say smiling at him, showing him a playful attitude rather than an accusatory one.

"I'm being careful don't worry okay? I wouldn't jeopardize the team like that. As much as it hurts me to have to keep my life a secret from her, she's very understanding about it all and isn't pushing me to tell her anything. Just please let me have this Gyu, I've got it under control" I say hoping we can leave it at that. "Okay, I trust you" he says and we sit in silence for a while until he speaks up. 

"You spoke to her on the phone tonight didn't you?" he asks with a sly smile. "No...yes...how do you know?" I ask confused as to how he could read me so quickly. "Because you looked so happy when you came in here verses how you left. A miracle had to have happened to curb that temper" he says clearly happy he was right. "Goodnight Beomgyu" I say and get up to make moves to go to bed, rolling my eyes at his cheekiness before I smack him upside the head and run off with him yelling and running after me. 

"Choi Yeonjun" I hear being yelled from inside of Soobin's room clearly having been woken up by our shenanigans. "Goodnight everyone" I yell back and close the door and lock it behind me providing me safety for the rest of the night. I let out and breath and shrug off the jacket I had been wearing and throw it on my desk chair and I soon hear a quite notification pop up and confused as to who it might be I pull out my phone right away and I smile instantly reading the message over and over and over again. 

y/n: Goodnight love talk to you tomorrow <3 

Read L0v3 y0u to see what happens next <3

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[longcovidshortstories]

Long covid has meant seeing lots of doctors, lots of times. I've met some amazing people. Doctors with empathy and curiosity. A long covid clinic doctor started our appointment but just telling me, "you're not crazy" and I burst into tears. A pulmonologist assured me that even if he couldn't figure out what was happening to me, he wouldn't let me leave his care until he'd exhausted his options and he felt he knew where to refer me next.

But seeing so many people, I can't help but have experiences that hurt. I've joined the chronic illness community; the invisible illness community. Long covid is new, poorly understood, and has the fun addition of having a political toxicity attached to it.

A bad doctor's appointment really stings. It holds onto me. It haunts me. Sometimes, it makes me angry. Why am I not being heard? Why am I being treated like my disease isn't real. Why is this doctor making recommendations that I couldn't possibly physically accomplish? I explained my physical limitations. They're real. I know that they're real.

It brings back all of the doubt that i already carry under the surface. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Is long covid even really a thing? Am I making this up? Maybe I just need to try harder. Have I tried yoga? Positive thinking?

Sometimes, it's small and inconsiderate things. Recommendations that ignore physical or financial circumstances that i just talked about in that same appointment. Test results read in snide tones alongside the "normal" range.

Sometimes, it's big and brash things. Recommendations of surgeries or programs that are extreme or inappropriate. Making me fight for my medical care.

Being sick is exhausting. Having long covid is exhausting. Having some kind of medical appointment nearly every week is exhausting. I live in a rural area and have to drive about an hour to reach any of these doctors. I don't want to feel like the expert on my disease when I go to the doctor. I'm tired. I have nightmares about hospitals. I want to at least know that when I give everything I have to be in that doctor's office, they will believe that I'm sick.

ENT 2021: No one really knows what's causing taste and smell changes in long covid, so there's not much I could really do for you. If it's really hard to live with food tasting like trash, I could sever your olfactory nerve. Then you shouldn't smell or taste anything. Maybe that's better? Although, if long covid is actually neurological, that might not actually help you at all!

Nutritionist 2021: Maybe try (insert very expensive home delivery food service).

GP 2021: Are you really, really sure you want to remove your IUD? Your insurance probably won't pay for another one for a while. The ultrasound showed it was still in the right place, so I can't imagine it's what's causing you any problems.

A Different Nutritionist 2022: I think you should sign up for an online eating disorder program. It's not long covid specific, so it'll mostly be group therapy with people with traditional eating disorders, but I'm just not sure how much I can help you.

Orthopedist 2023: You wrote "long covid" under preexisting conditions. What is that? I've never heard of it.

Speech Therapy 2024: Breathe out saying "e" for as long as you can....Hmmm, that was 4 seconds. You know the normal average for that is 20 seconds.

[scifirice]

The game Doomed in danny phantom has insane implications.

Before you go typing stuff, I am aware it's the result of needing a video game to have stakes and the writers needing a plot. I understand watsonian and doylist reasoning, im a writer myself. this is purely for the in-universe implications which I believe are crazy.

In episode 12: Teacher of the Year, danny and his friends are playing some kind of online game where the grand prize for beating it is full access to the World Wide Web. I re watched this episode prior to writing this, though it has been a hot minute since ive seen the other episodes, so i don't know exactly if they've actually used the internet prior to that episode. But i do remember technus escaping because Danny deleted his old save of Doomed so i guess that does imply he beat it at some point after episode 12.

The mere fact they can even play an online game in the first place would imply they have some access but not as much as they could. Kind of like how when you have a learners permit you can only drive in the daytime with an adult in the passenger seat. Can you imagine getting online and only being able to access wikipedia and facebook? Thats what I'm seeing from this.

So as far as we know, anyone who wants to get full access to the internet has to play and beat this game. We see danny and tucker make it to the final level multiple times, it takes them all night but that assumes even an average player can make it far if they keep at it. So the game itself couldn't be too difficult.

But what bewilders me the most is what Sam's doing. Why does this game have PVP? Sam hasn't beat the game either, she was likely doing it just to fuck with danny and tucker but she also blasts some random dude at the beginning. The trio seemed to all be able to win the game together at the very end, meaning there isn't any actual reason for pvp since there's no need to claim the prize solely for yourself.

Then there's Lancer. He's already beating the goddamn game! Yet he comes back just to beat it again and fight people! Is he gaining anything from this? Probably not. But why would this be an option for returning players? It's like someone who gets a doctorate degree and then goes around a middle school with a baseball bat bashing any student they see trying to learn and the school staff do nothing about it.

Why is the world set up like this? Did the government decide full internet access is something someone should have to take a test for? Did everyone have to take the test or were they grandfathered into keeping full access? I dunno how old Lancer is but unless we assume he was only playing the game for fun, he had to have beat Doomed when he was younger. so that implies his generation and the one after were all subject to this rule.

Is Doomed the only game like this? are there other games for other kinds of people since not everyone is good at FPS games? Could there be other things like make a character on the sims live for a whole year on max difficulty and then you win? Beat halo on legendary with all skulls on? speedrun mario 64 below the allowed time limit? Whose idea was this!? Not everyone is going to want full access when they're teens like danny, but what about when you get a job? Do you need to put "I beat Doomed" on your resume? this whole this is just fucking bizzare,

It's a minor detail never really brought up again, but the wider implications of it are immense. Anyway, im using this episode as inspiration to write a story because I cannot let this idea just get swept under the ecto-rug.

[olderthannetfic]

/728571347409731584

Firstly, the person you're replying to only describe in-person experiences. Secondly, I've been to two universities in the US as a result of getting a scholarship midway through. At one, I was discouraged from attending the queer club on campus by the head of it, as I wasn't queer, I wasn't "really" aroace, I was just "a late bloomer". She informed me that everyone wants romance and sex sometimes. Aro and ace people want it less, she explained, to my face, standing ten feet from me, but they still want it.

No, it's not "only in online spaces". Queer people who use the queer segments of the internet do not only exist in darkened cellars they never emerge from. Teenagers and young adults go to college. It isn't 1998 anymore, pretending the internet and the physical world have zero overlap and what you read online cannot impact or shape your views is ridiculous.

You know how I know this? At my incredibly liberal university, where I live in a gender-inclusive nearly all queer dorm, not only have I heard two separate conversations at floor events about this where it was repeated by other queer students, including ace people, that ace people have sex and ace people do romance, with NO utterance of the word "sometimes", but today? Today, guys, gals and enbies, this Friday, this very fucking Shabbat, I heard it from a professor.

My Social Stratification professor said that asexuality is "a usually treatable condition" and "doesn't mean someone doesn't have sex, just that they have a low sex drive" and when I said some people don't have sex, she said "therapy can help" and topped it off with, "and of course they still masturbate frequently, so they're really not as different as people like to stereotype them as".

I don't. I don't masturbate, it's not fun for me. I don't long to fuck fictional characters or real people. I don't need therapy. I'm not traumatized. I don't have sex. I don't want romance. I don't find reading about it compelling most of the time, either. I don't need therapy for that, because you go to therapy for things that are negatively impacting my life, and actually?

I am aroace in the "wrong" way, a zero-sex, zero-romance, zero-masturbating person, and I'm happy. I like who I am. I like how I am. I have a good life at my dream university, with good friends, a nice room, roommates I like, a mostly walkable part of town, and I'm working on my dream degree to reach my dream career. I'm not huddled in the corner in the fetal position sobbing about the sex I secretly want or on my bed furiously masturbating to anything. I am not lying about my identity, my experiences, my thoughts or my feelings.

This professor is young, roughly 30. That means it's feasible she's been using tumblr for years, as it was popular during her teenage years, or she has been in the company of people who, via tumblr, Instagram, Amino, etc., have this idea of asexuality. And does that idea stay locked inside a computer somewhere? No, because the person who reads them doesn't. The people who read, internalize as truth and believe shitty online takes also exist in the real world. They have physical bodies they take to physical places and they open their mouth and say things, which are then passed onto other people who exist in the offline world.

"The only thing that [they] are seeing is internet wank" NO! The only thing you are seeing is internet wank, but there is not a mass conspiracy of college students across the USA to lie and say we're experiencing things we aren't, which would be the only explanation for so, so many ace people I know online talking in private on Discord servers, tumblr, in YouTube comments and in person having this same shared experience.

I genuinely don't know how people think no one could possibly have the same bad take offline that they do online. Q-Anon exists. January 6th happened. People get radicalized into beliefs much more absurd than this and act on those beliefs constantly and "no you just need to touch grass" is what you arrived at as a conclusion instead of "sometimes people are wrong"?

Though I say this with love, I mean it when I say that you don't just need to touch grass, you need to hug a whole hay bale.

--

[merakiui]

hi ms mera! could i ask for some spare cater thoughts 🥺 hes my favorite and i want to know what you think about him (bc you had him on your want to write about list 😖) also fun fact!!! did you know pregnant shrimp are called berried shrimp because they look like they have berries on their tummy 🥺🥺🥺

Hi!!! I have some spare Cater thoughts in my head, so allow me to share them. :D

✧ camboy cater who originally started camming just because it was so popular and he wanted to see how far it could take him. he's surprisingly popular and even managed to trend a few times on the site he streams on. so far he's only done solo streams, but he's been watching you for a while, and he's nearing a major viewership goal. maybe he should give his watchers a little surprise. <3 viewers are a shocked when cater films with someone else. they can't see his or your face, but you're struggling sluggishly in your bindings and groaning about how it hurts. you've been drugged...or have you? it's all role-play, isn't it? right???

✧ sk cater who really wants to be famous so desperately, but nothing's working no matter what he does or how hard he tries!!!! so maybe he documents all of his kills. maybe he live-streams them. or maybe he live-tweets about it!!!!! he has this really obscure secretive account and it feels so dismal and bleak just from a quick scroll through past posts. it's an account where he can actually be true to himself, where he can vent, where he can complain, where he doesn't have to be so cheerful 24/7. he's spiraling, but even on this vent account the few followers he has think nothing is inherently wrong. he's just some person on the internet feeling things. everyone has dreary days; maybe cataloguing them here is his way of coping. but he gets a sudden spike in followers after he posts an update that will forever change the trajectory of his online life: so not cool that the human body has so much blood. :/ ngl it's gonna take forever to get rid of the stain. and then there's a grainy photo attached of a carpet so soaked through with blood it's practically drenched. cater didn't think he'd gain any followers from a simple post complaining about something so...boring. but then he realizes something. people like thrills. people like horror. people can't turn away from a car crash even if they want to because, at the end of the day, we are all creatures drawn in by destruction. and so he gets an idea: wouldn't it be fun if his followers could use the cute, little poll feature on his social media to determine a person's fate? :)

✧ cater who works a summer job at a harbor and falls for the cute mer who often gets tangled in the fishing nets near the shore. he's saved you too many times from netting. at this point, your meet-cutes are more recurring than they are rare. he thinks you're super cute and he takes a lot of pictures for his magicam, but at some point simple admiration becomes more of a terrible attachment when he starts to look forward to seeing you every day he works his not-so-cute or exciting summer job. when he learns you'll be leaving soon for your species' spawning season, he realizes he might never see you again. and he can't let you go; you're the only one who truly understands him! so the next time you find yourself tangled in nets, cater doesn't cut you free. instead, he hoists you over his shoulder, ignoring your frantic protests, and brings you home. you'll live in his bathtub until he can think of a better place to put you. and if you're so worried about spawning season, he can help you out. after all, you can always rely on cay cay! <3

✧ stalker cater who is driving you near insanity. you don't know anything about him or his unique magic, but you're certain you've seen double or triple or quadruple copies of him???? he's everywhere and nowhere. sometimes it feels like his eyes are always pinned on you no matter where you go. and he always knows where you are, where you're going, what you'll be doing. the breaking point is when you try to report it, but officer deuce spade insists that there is no such thing as "a dozen creepy, look-alike men" stalking you. this town is completely safe! he's made sure of it! you're prone to trusting deuce because he means well and has always been so sweet to you. he eases all of your fears and worries when he offers to guard your property for a day or two just in case. after you've left the station, deuce feels so bad. it's wrong to do this. it's corrupt. an abuse of power. but cater is his friend... but you're also his friend... oh, he's in such a bind!

[kaseyskat]

*begin stream*

"Okay, we're live. Hello everyone, My name is Sadie Anderson, and I'm here with teens Sasha Waybright and Marcy Wu. For those who are unaware, both teens are involved with the robot invasion of Los Angeles; which is exactly what we're here to talk about. Miss Waybright, Miss Wu, how are you two doing?"

"Cut the crap. We agreed to this so it'd be quick and easy."

"Sash, it's okay. We're... alright, despite the circumstances, haha."

"Alright, I'll start this nice and easy for our viewers. Miss Wu, you've made quite a ruckus with the footage of a masked figure commanding the invasion. Considering your history and how you disappeared alongside Miss Waybright and Miss Anne Boonchuy eight months ago, it is no wonder that speculation started around this figure being you."

"Yeah... yeah, yeah, that makes sense, huh?"

"So now what everyone wants to know is... if this was you, why aid the invaders? What could drive a teenager to joining forces with a world-conquering King?"

"Oh come on, that's ridiculous-"

"-Sash, this is my interview, please. I... Mrs Anderson-"

"-please, call me Sadie."

"-Sadie, there is... a lot that the world still doesn't know about the invasion. There's a lot that people don't know about us, in general. The Amphibians... they're like us, you know? They have families, lives, politics. Landing in another world through a magic music box is one thing, but we genuinely lived there. It sounds crazy, but... I think the invasion is proof of that, yeah?"

"Marcy-"

"-Sasha, please."

"...okay, okay. Continue."

"As I was saying, the technological advancements alone are... astounding. I mean, they had working robots mass manufactured!"

"Miss Wu, what is your point?"

"My point is... well, I have to tell you these things, or my story won't make any sense. The world wants the truth? Fine, here's the truth."

*fabric rustles*

"That is one impressive scar, Miss Wu."

"Sadie, this isn't even half of it. This scar is how I know that what I've lived through was real, it's visible, living proof. Here is my answer: yes, the person seen commanding the forces was me. Technically. But also no, it wasn't me."

"Miss Wu, would you mind elaborating?"

"Like I said, the technology in this other world is... incredibly advanced. So advanced that it saved my life when I was impaled through the back with a flaming sword - Sasha, I am fine. I can talk about this now! - by the same King that Anne Boonchuy defeated on live TV. Have you ever been stabbed before, Sadie? My memories of the event are... vague, blurry, but I don't think I'll ever forget the pain of it. I couldn't breathe without feeling the fire in my lungs, couldn't move without feeling the nerves shrivel up- it's a miracle it missed my heart. But the King... he didn't actually want me to die, so I didn't. Clearly."

"Miss Wu..."

"Sadie, you can't interrupt me or I won't finish. It's... it's a lot, I know it's a lot, how do you think I've felt these past few weeks being hounded by news stations and called a monster by people who don't even know me, all because they saw my body up there on that palace ledge? They don't know... they don't know."

"Hey, hey, Mars, breathe."

"I'm... I'm okay, sorry, sorry. Anyways. The King saved my life, but... with a price. That helmet people keep making fun of online? It's... more than a scary mask, or something to obscure my identity. It was... like a computer, actually. It... I mean, he, the King, he saved me so he could attach me to that... that thing, so that it could take control of my body and lock me inside of my own mind. It was... I don't remember much of this process, either, because every time I think about it, I just remember screaming.

"So yeah, it was my body, but I... I had no say in anything, that wasn't me. I never asked for this, you know? I never... I don't want to hurt people, I've never wanted to hurt people. I don't... I..."

"Okay, that's enough."

"Miss Waybright-"

"-no, that's enough. Stop recording, you've heard all you need to hear, okay? We're fucking teenagers, we didn't ask for a fucking war, you think any of us wanted this? We didn't. Now leave us the hell alone!"

*end stream*

[ifiamhumaniamperfect]

[ooc: hey! its been a while and i just wanted to give you all an explanation as to why its been so long: i'm not going to finish/continue this au. i'm going to put the rest of this under the read more.]

[first of all: i've had an amazing time making this au, and interacting with everyone who ever sent in an ask. it was an incredible experience for my first time sharing a story online!! …but it WAS also my first time doing anything like this EVER. and honestly i'm surprised i even ever got this far with it. i expected to lose interest or run out of ideas about a week in LMAO. but i didn't, because people were genuinely interested in the story i was telling, and i. never really expected that!! and i had fun!! it was amazing to actually receive asks and be excited about what i could reply with!

but at the end of the day, it isn't bringing me joy anymore. i've just lost interest in this au. i simply don't have the same drive to draw out asks, or answer in character. i don't want to half-ass something i had so much passion for. and i REALLY don't want to keep you guys waiting for something that will never happen.

i really didn't want to give up on this au. i HATE leaving things like this unfinished. but i think i'd rather end it where it is right now than try to force myself through it.

i'm not fully dropping everything and walking away, i'm just not going to tell the rest of the story in a narrative form (hope that makes sense). i'm going to polish up the notes i have for how the story would have gone from here and answer questions about the au. but asks directed towards altsar are going to be answered by me.

i'm so, SO grateful to everyone, whether you sent in asks or just watched from the sidelines!! and i hope you guys had as much fun with this au as i did. it really made my day answering asks and writing altsar's character, and i'm really going to miss it. but all things come to an end, and i'm honestly proud of how far i got with this. i hope this story was worth it, even if it never got the ending i would have liked to give it.

thank you guys for everything :D]

[tklyhcs]

ooh if you're alright to write some more Hearsteel things, how do you think tickle fights with the boys go? like, who usually starts them, who taps out first, who gets ganged up on, who ends up winning? (you don't have to answer all or any of those, just some prompts/ideas!)

OUGH YES PLS thank you for giving me a chance to blab wahgsh

hmmm kayn seems like a type to start it every time when he's fighting ez over something dumb. or fighting k'sante over the car keys. kayn and ez both try to fight that man over the car keys actually. based on that video riot games posted on twitter it was like "he's a 10 but never lets anyone else drive" or something.

kayn is willing to fight at the drop of a hat and sometimes ez wants to drive and then looks at kayn to start the fight for him he's like 😢🥺 and kayn is like perfect. time to induce civil unrest within the band. he swears he doesn't get swayed by ez's puppy dog eyes but that may be part of it!!

sett also likes to start them, even though he does NOT perform well. he be poking phel or yone just to LOSE smh. phel because he doesn't laugh too often and yone when he's doing better in a video game. yone is canonly better than him and he's a lil bastard and is like what i'm not doing anything i would never stoop so low ((gaslighting)) and i bet if they're playing co-op with people online they get called out for throwing LMFAO they get in trouble with other gamers for fooling around. while k'sante usually calls for yone, yone calls for k'sante the same and sett is like ok now this is no longer fair (it is fair he just says anyone going after him is cheating and unwarranted). yone can finally game in peace.

as for who taps out first mayhaps phel! oughgh it'd be so cute if he signs when he's had enough and needs a breather but i can guarantee he's back in the game pretty fast. like he needs a moment but then a bit later he's RIGHT BACK to acting like a dick lol he taps out but decides his ler meter isn't done yet and he's back in that fight asap!

kayn takes too long to tap out for someone who "hates it" it's so obvious but it might embarrass him too much if someone mentions it so they don't wah it's cute.. they're afraid he might decide to prove them wrong by starving himself of attention and decide he doesn't wanna play. also side note here i'm not always aware of how rhaast works in their universe but just imagine it is still the situation of having another entity cause imagine him calling it childish and kayn being like cool. bet. and leaving rhaast to front and rhaast is like WHOAA HOLD ON WAIT WAIT AAAA I TAKE IT BACK HOLD ON

for who gets teamed up on probably yone. because the team loves bothering him when he's doing work or bullying him for acting like he's above it! tapping away at his laptop focusing on nothing else and being snippy when anyone bothers him.. walk your fingers across his back and shoulders and suddenly he's keysmashing by accident. they politely wait for him to periodically save his work. then they grab him. he's very fun to tickle out of an attitude. you can see the crease between his eyebrows smooth out to accompany his new smile!

and for winning. no one ever wins this is a group-wide loss. LOL immeasurable casualties on all fronts. absolutely everyone is wasted by the end. dare i say ez would CLAIM that he's sure he won and everyone becomes hellbent on making sure he knows that he DIDN'T. the competitive spirit they all have is something for sure.

AA TY.. i could talk forever!! wonderful prompts thanky u ✌✌✌✨✨

[smokescreenstuff]

Damn @1gn0re-th1s now I'm going to see how well I can write this. Smokescreen is not going to have fun.

Smokescreen decided it was a good time to take a drive. It was late at night, but everyone was still up. Nothing was going on, and Smokescreen doubted anything would happen. He had somehow managed to convince Ratchet to let him out of the base.

Smokescreen drove for a long time, he just kept going straight. He let his mind wander and quickly lost track of time and his surroundings. Only when he almost hit a tree, did he snap back to reality.

He must have been driving for an extremely long time and/or extremely fast to make it to a forest. He transforms into his bipedal mode and looks around. He's lost. He's about to contact Ratchet for a ground bridge when he hears something.

SM: Who's there?

No response.

SM: Come on, this isn't funny!

Again, silence.

Smokescreen starts panicking, it's dark, the forest feels smaller than it really is. He feels trapped, just like when he was in the escape pod. Smokescreen activates his weapons.

SM: Show yourself!

Nothing. Maybe he was just hearing things.

A sharp pain hits him in the back. He's being electrocuted. He hits the floor and falls into a forced recharge.

...

Smokescreen wakes up strapped down to a table. Wires and cables running from different parts of his body. A masked human dressed in black stands on a platform nearby.

??: Hello, Cybertronian.

SM: My name is Smokescreen! Now what do you want with me!?

??: We know how to make and power our own Cybertronians, now the next step is getting rid of the competition.

SM: What? Hold on, you're M.E.C.H., aren't you? Bulkhead told me about you guys.

??: That is correct.

SM: So what are you going to do?

??: We would kill you, but than we couldn't take control of your body. We could do what Silas did, but that's not very healthy. We could attempt mind control, but that's too much of a hassle. We could just get rid of your dead body by turning it to scrap, but that would take to long.

SM: So?

??: We're going to attempt something else. We want to see if we can turn a Cybertronian, human.

SM: What!? That's impossible!

??: We will see.

Suddenly Smokescreen starts feeling dizzy. The feeling quickly turns into a horrible helm ache. His entire body erupted in pain to the point where he wasn't even aware of anything else.

He felt his energy failing, he could feel every component inside him. It felt strange and unnatural. Smokescreen wasn't even sure if he was screaming or if his intake was just hanging open. All his senses felt like they were being overwhelmed at the same time.

He felt things changing, small at first, but quickly grew. The pain hightening to a point Smokescreen didn't believe was possible. All of his senses shut down at the same time. He felt like he was going to be deactivated, permanently. Smokescreen falls back into a forced recharge.

...

When Smokescreen next awoke he found himself laying on a cold metal floor. He attempted to push himself up, but he was too tired. A pipe lay not to far from him, he reached out to grab it only to stop half way. That wasn't his hand.

??: You're finally awake.

SM: Wha... What did... you do?

??: You're human now. We had no idea how you would look like in the end, but I quite like your new look. Not to mention your apparent albinoism has given me an idea of how to get rid of you.

Albinoism, Smokescreen knew that word. Raf had told him about it. They were looking at animals online when Smokescreen notices an unusually white tiger. Raf told him it was because the tiger had albinoism, a lack of melatonin. Raf said the tiger was in a zoo for its protection. Being that white made it hard to blend in, and more wanted by people wanting to buy illegal animals.

Smokescreen had thought it was absurd and silly. But now he feels like he's in the tiger's position. Trapped in a cage.

??: You're very quiet. That's unlike you. Are you thinking about something?

SM: Just about what you said.

Smokescreen was already regaining his strength.

SM: What did you mean when you said you had an idea for how to get rid of me?

??: I bet you'd sell for a good price on the black market. It would help us with our money shortage, just enough to get us started. I already have a buyer lined up, he'll be here shortly.

Smokescreen quickly reaches out and grabs the pipe, standing up as fast as he can, not caring how much his head protested.

SM: No way! That's sick!

??: Welcome to humanity, kid.

The man leaves Smokescreen alone. He starts banging the pipe against the iron bars. After some time a familiar figure stood close by. Bulkhead.

[khaire-traveler]

Ok, I will try not to talk too much about this on here, since this blog isn't really about this type of content, but I need to nerd out to someone, none of my friends are into this, and this is my main blog, so here we go:

***BALDUR'S GATE 3 SPOILERS AHEAD; READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION***

This is mostly just me needing out and gushing, though, lol.

Ok, ok, so for the past five days, I have been fucking binge playing this game. I literally spent the first day I got it sitting around for, like, seven hours (don't be me, and make sure to get up for breaks if you're gonna do the same thing). I was - and still am - absolutely hooked.

I LOVE this game!!! It's the first DnD based game I've played, especially of this quality (even though my laptop runs it like shit and the lag is killer ☠️). I'm playing on Explorer, so it's been fairly easy and very story-focused. I find the lore so intriguing, and I'm so interested in seeing where the story goes! I haven't seen anything past the camp party after saving Halsin, though, so no spoilers please. 🙏

So, I started off with one playthrough, but I came in with the knowledge that you are able to romance the characters and such. I REALLY wanted to romance Astarion (as most people I see talking about the game lmfao), but my bitch ass just could not get his approval, no matter how hard I tried. It got to the point where he actually made fun of me after we saved Halsin and had the camp party. 😭 I honestly suspect he might've glitched out somehow, since I had read online that people have had similar issues with earning the trust and approval of companions. This definitely bummed me out, but I was still enjoying the game a lot.

Along with that, in my original playthrough, I literally forgot to seek out Lae'zel. I had planned on doing it, but I just didn't know where to go, and by the time I had met Gale, I honestly forgot about finding her because I had to get offline at that point. 💀 I felt really bad about it, and I only went to go look for her after saving Halsin because I was reminded of her, and she had already broken out of the cage and killed the two tieflings who trapped her. I felt so bad that I just left her there on her own all that time. ☠️

After realizing that I wouldn't be able to recruit her until a bit later, I just decided to restart my playthrough on different save files. I figured I'd also at least get a proper chance with Astarion as well (love him so much; he is my meow meow 💕), and all while still playing as the character I took quite literally two hours to make (I was very indecisive about them lol).

So far, the new playthrough has been going very well, and I'm actually pretty happy that I restarted, since I had also apparently missed the scene of Astarion sharing his vampiric nature as well as some very key information from, and about, Lae'zel. I'm only about seven hours in right now, but I feel like I've somehow gotten more done in this playthrough than I did in my original which had something like fifteen hours. I've explored places I didn't even realize existed, picked up a ridiculous amount of loot, and even acquired all the companion characters that I know of in the First Act. It's been extremely successful! Not to mention things with Astarion are going very well. 🥰

Anyway, I've been enjoying this game a lot! This is my first ever time playing it; I didn't have Early Access and hadn't even heard of it until my friend told me about it this past Sunday lol. I'm honestly really glad that I got this game, despite the price of it and the price I had to pay for a new storage drive for my laptop in order to run it. It was certainly lots of money spent, but it was definitely money well spent.

I feel like my perspective on the world around me has changed slightly from playing this game (in a positive way). I feel a lot more curious about things than before, and I'm more inclined to take spontaneous risks which has always been a struggle for me beforehand. I also kind of feel like I can talk to other people a lot easier as well, as strange as that sounds. I play a Bard in the game, so my character has high charisma and stops to talk to other characters a lot, and I'm not really sure why, but seeing my character interact so easily with others has kind of inspired me in a way and helped to make social situations a lot more comfortable for me (I have social anxiety, so talking to people has always been pretty tough). As unusual as it may sound, this game has already changed me in such positive ways as a person, and I can't wait to see what other lessons it may have to teach. ☺️

All of that said, I couldn't recommend Baldur's Gate 3 more! It's genuinely one of those games that I think anyone can pretty much enjoy, and I also appreciate how inclusive it is with gender stuff and queer relationships. The other characters even refer to me with the correct pronouns, despite me never needing to enter my pronouns in! It's a very impressive game, and the graphics are absolutely gorgeous (especially when your laptop isn't absolute shit like mine lmao). Frankly, it's just great!

Of course, being so new, it does have its problems. I've personally experienced lots of lag issues - dialogue and animations won't be in sync, characters taking a long time to go from one location to another, environments not loading in very quickly, etc. I've also had the game crash on me a few times, but I honestly believe it's more related to my laptop than it is to the game, and for the most part, it hasn't caused me too much grief.

Despite its flaws, I personally believe this game is very much worth a play. It's loads of fun, and the characters are pretty charming and entertaining. The storyline is interesting with lots of twists and turns, and if you ever get bored of the mainline quest, there are literally endless sidequests for you to enjoy. Exploration is highly encouraged, and as you explore the realm, your map actually reveals the locations you've been to. Fast travel is also a super great feature, although there are some locations I wish that were on there that aren't, sadly.

Ok, I've...talked a lot, so I'm going to stop now. 😂 Thank you to anyone who actually read all this, and I hope you have fun playing or watching someone else play, if you plan on doing either! Take care. 🧡🪽

[crmsnmth]

September Sky Chapter One, Part 11

"Yep, the absolute slowest suicide ever. Really, what's not going to kill me these days?" I said, letting the cigarette barely dangle from my lips.

"Very true," she replied reaching over and plucking the cigarette from my lips. I expected her to toss it into the street or snuff it out. Instead, she took a couple drags from it, and placed it right back between my lips. Her fingers barely grazed them, but it felt as a whole new galaxy of stars had just formed right below my skin. I could smell her skin and it smelt like watermelon candies. It was enticing.

It seemed to take us less time to walk back to her truck then it did to walk away. But isn't that how it usually works? Time, I mean. It always goes faster when it's headed towards something you dread. And, in a way, I was dreading her driving off. It had been such a long time that I'd done anything like this, and I really had fun with her.

"Thanks for the drinks," she said, opening the door and climbing up into her seat. I shut the door for her and hung onto the window as she rolled it down.

"Any time," I said with a smile. She held up a finger and turned to dig in her bag. I couldn't see what she was searching and had no idea as to what it could be either.

"A-ha!" She exclaimed loudly, and pulled out a black Sharpie marker. She motioned me to give her my hand and I tentatively held it out through the window. When she took it, electricity shot through my hand. She scribbled something on my buzzing skin. When I finally was able to see what she was writing, I couldn't figure it out. Not at first. She had written ten numbers on the top of my hand. Her phone number. I stared at it, wondering how long I could go without washing that hand.

"This was a lot of fun. Call me?" Addison started up her truck. She had turned the music down before we got out earlier, but I was just barely able to catch Blitzkid's 'The Howling' before it was lost to the street sounds.

"Yeah, it really was. For sure, I will," I didn't want to seem too eager. I always heard that turned people off. So I acted nonchalant and sort of careless. But I couldn't fully hide my eagerness. It was there, in full frontal nudity, dancing on my lips.

"See you," she gave me a small wave. I waved back and watched her drive off to wherever she was going next. I waited until I couldn't see her anymore, before I started the short walk home. I felt light. Lighter than I had in a long time. I kept looking down at my hand, staring at the ten digits. I was on clouds.

Nobody was at the apartment when I got there. At least, there was no simulated gunfire coming from Dennis's room, and Tom's room was dark. There was no light under his door. I couldn't tell you what either of them was off doing. 100% separate lives. If it hadn't been for this apartment, I would never have even existed to these two. And they would've never existed to me. It goes both ways I guess.

I headed into my tiny room, threw an Against Me! record on and flopped down onto my bed. I grabbed my laptop and logged onto Facebook right away. I could see Chad was online.

CHRIS: Yo.

CHAD: What's up?

CHRIS: Not much. Just got home and I'm already bored. Want to load up Dead Island for a while?

CHAD: Give me like an hour or so, than yea, sounds good.

CHRIS: Alright, cool.

I went back to scrolling Facebook, looking at people I couldn't care less about share their lives. Seeing tons of just ranting and whining about every little issue possible. Everybody is a narcissist when they get their own platform to whine from. The soap box officially known as social media had already taken hold of the world.

[hyukalyptus]

i feel like younger fandom writers on tumblr are starting to feel like they have to be sort of ""influencers"" and respond to every single bit of feedback and get as many reblogs as possible but that's never been what tumblr has been about and it's sad because i've seen this idea people give themselves drive writers off the website in newer, younger fandoms. if i'm in your inbox, even if it's some big idea i'm putting down, you can just reply like a conversation. i'm not expecting a piece of writing, i really just want to tell someone and have them respond "OH MY GOD I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH" and maybe even "thats so hot and he'd do this too" but i feel like writers are putting a lot of pressure on themselves lately, or maybe it's just this fandom idk, to write a fic for every single idea that comes into their mailbox because they feel like "that's what writers do" or something and it's like??? you don't have to be a Public Figure here. it's just a fuckign social media website and the weirdest most fucked up one. i'm sure you get asks like "hey why didn't you write such and such" but like. you're just here to converse and share the things you make this isn't your fucking job so ignore that shit and do what feels comfortable to you. idk if this sounds harsh or not but really the point is just do whatever the fuck you want

hello!

idk if this is a rant specifically toward me or if it’s supposed to be a suggestion for others..but i feel like i have a pretty clear boundary and that is stated clearly in my guidelines. i do understand that this is something silly and meant to be fun and i treat it that way.

i’ve never felt pressured to do something i didn’t want to do. i know i posted a “i have a full time job and i go to school!” post yesterday but that’s because i have drawn that boundary and i do understand that this is a low priority and it’s for fun. if i don’t like an ask, i delete it! which i do so often tbh. i don’t rly advertise that bc i want ppl to feel like they can inbox me.

and again, i’m not sure if this is directed at me fully, but i have never said anything along the lines of “because that’s what writers do.” as i’ve said in my guidelines, i understand i am not here for you or any other reader. and i am fully comfortable deleting any ask and blocking whoever tf i want.

perhaps this in response to saying something like “this didn’t get a whole lotta notes :(“ or something? and if it’s that, that’s not meant to be taken too seriously! it’s more of a “omg why doesn’t anyone else wanna giggle about kai with me rn?” just like irl if i’m w a group of ppl and i’m sharing something i rly like and that i created and i get very little response i’ll be slightly :/ but i’m not taking it personally. i’m sorry if it came across as pressuring others to provide feedback.

perhaps this is in response to my poll i have up rn. i’m doing this because many readers have suggested us writers interact back with them. and they’ve requested that from multiple writers. which i see as a fair request to be completely honest. however, i don’t feel pressured into doing that. i want to show appreciation to my readers that leave feedback and idk maybe it’s because i’m autistic, maybe it’s because i’m old and don’t do social media well, but it can be very difficult for me to talk to people in any form (online or offline) so i wanted to know what form would be best received.

but at the end of the day- i definitely do not see myself as an “influencer”—that is actually my worst nightmare. i have never felt pressured to write a response to anything, i’ve never felt pressured to respond within a certain time frame, a certain length, or anything. i still haven’t posted half my kinktober shit! i’ve never prioritized this over work or school. i do write whatever the fuck i want or i wouldn’t write about “unpopular” things like kai smut (bc let’s face it, they’re always super unpopular), chubby!reader, or other kinks. and i make that clear in my guidelines!

and yep, i see this as something silly that i do as a hobby but that isn’t my place to dictate how other writers should feel about their blog. if they want to take it seriously bc they view as their art, that’s fine with me. if they wanna write for validation or for as many notes as possible, that’s fine w me because they’re doing whatever the fuck they want.

writers: i do encourage you to not feel pressured to write to things you don’t want to, but i don’t feel like many of you do that anyway. this is meant to be something fun and if you’re not having fun, don’t do it! but i’m still having fun with this so i’m gonna do it. and i’m sure y’all are having fun too. i ofc hope my moots stick around, but i would of course understand if you decided to never log back in again someday.

[amywritesthings]

i have to be a wee bit honest with you all, besties (personal - i'm okay! just some sappy things - content warning: loneliness)

i started writing fic officially last year in february. i didn't think it would become anything at all. my friends made fun of me for trying out reader insert fanfic for the first time, implying (and outright saying) that reader insert was childish, lower quality writing, but as someone who didn't really read much 2nd POV - i was curious. i wanted to try out the medium. it was a challenge. i tried telling my friends (online and irl) about it, but i got a lot of sneers because... well, it was reader insert. and not canon/canon, or original character/canon content.

i'd been toying with a mandalorian fanfic ever since the end of season two. i loved that show. i wanted to tell a story for myself, so i posted a few chapters over the weeks, thinking i'd abandon it and go back to reading fic... then met all of you. i started gathering followers, something i NEVER thought would happen, and from there mutuals. fellow writers were following me! i had never been so excited in my life!

but i'm going to be so honest: i am quite lonely. i've transitioned away from writing groups/dnd/rp to basically be a full-time fanfiction author, and i feel like i've lost all of my friends. most of them don't want to hear about it, so i don't hit them up anymore. i've had friends question why i don't hit them up, and when i explain that my entire life's kinda become "weight training and fanfic" the conversation stops.

add another layer of getting into anime, something NO ONE in my personal life cares about / thinks highly of, and i kind of only have this blog and my vision and writing and -- well, you all.

and you all are so amazing. my mutuals are so fun, and talented, and crazy smart people. i see their fics, and even if it isn't a fixation of mine, i root for them. then the people who have not only read one chapter of my fic, but multiple? or those who have checked out some of my other work? people who legit message me, send me anonymous questions, engage with what i love ---- i no longer feel so lonely. i stop wondering if i should hang up fanfic so i can gain my old social life back where i still talked to my online friends pre-fic blog often. i don't think 'maybe i'm stupid for doing this.'

i'm okay with being lonely and alone, honestly! i'm an only child lol i grew up with a single mom, my entire life was built on my imagination and the ability to be alone. but i just need every single one of you who have touched my work in some form or another -- just how important you are to me, and how grateful i am that you've not only read my works, but engaged, DM'd me about a thirst trap, anything!

it's very easy to forget there is a human behind the stories you like or reblog or comment on, but i hope you know that this human is just really happy that you've validated her greatest love: writing. and that i don't feel so lonely all the time when i'm chatting with you all, or responding to your infectious excitement. i'm just... i feel so content. and happy. and like i actually belong posting my stories, versus keeping them to myself on a word doc that will die within my external hard drive.

you see me. so thank you for seeing me.

[auspicious-voice]

Plans for AUSPICIOUS VOICE Going Forward

EDIT @ 07/10/2023: More explanation on what I will do with my social media accounts at the end of this post

Hey guys!

I'm writing this post to highlight some key changes for this project and its future, especially when I want to move on to other bigger things I'd like to focus on. Of course that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this project, but I just want to scale down on the social aspects of the UTAU hobby significantly for the most part.

If you're interested on what this means for the project, then feel free to read on.

Cover Uploads

Since January 2023, I have been uploading new cover to my YouTube and BiliBili channels on a weekly basis. This was mostly because I had a huge backlog of finished covers I've kept in my hard drive for a long time. But since I've cleared my cover backlog and that I've run into a bit of a burnout AND cover block, I figured that doing weekly uploads isn't really a fun thing to do anymore.

It's hard to find inspiration for songs I want to cover nowadays since I'm all burnt out right now, and I want to upload covers whenever I want to. I won't stop uploading covers but the amount of covers I will upload will decrease over time. I also want to make more time and space for other things I am working on instead of constantly working on covers every week.

Maybe I should build a playlist of songs I want to cover in the future, and when the inspiration really hits, I could revisit the playlist and select the one I like the most...

Voicebank Development and Releases

It never really occured to me that I wanted to stop developing voicebanks up until recently. I will say that I will be stopping voicebank development for Fuwa Maria and Fuwa Mario indefinitely.

Now the reason why I am saying this is because of multiple factors. One is that I don't have the time and energy to devote to developing new voicebanks for my UTAUs these days, and I'm at that point where I look at my current voicebanks and I'm like, "Yeah I don't think I'll record a voicebank as good as that." I'm perfectly fine with the quality of my current voicebanks, and I don't intend to record new versions of them anytime soon. That doesn't mean that I'll stop giving them miniscule QoL updates though.

Producing voicebanks takes a long time, from months to even a year, and it really exhausts me every time I do a voicebank release. So that being said, don't expect new voicebanks to be released anytime soon. This decision isn't permanent, but it will probably remain that way for a long time from now.

Anything else?

For the sake of my social battery and mental health, I won't be directly interacting with the UTAU community (and the greater vocal synth community) from now on. Too much happens on those online spaces to the point where it stresses me out by a ton, and I'm glad that there are people leaving the community to do better things or to improve themselves for the reasons mentioned above. I won't lie that without the UTAU community, I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today, but I think it's time to move on, like a graduation of sorts or something.

That doesn't mean that I won't stop all communications with the UTAU community, but I will be around to check if anything new has been made with Maria and Mario through tags and search results occasionally. I may leave a comment or two at that! I also opened up a new e-mail for inquiries about the voicebanks and characters, so that's my primary form of contact now.

As for the program itself, I have always treated UTAU as a hobby, and I will continue to do so - as something that I like to do for myself in my free time. I will cover the songs I like with my UTAUs (and other voicebanks if I feel like it), and upload them for myself and others to see if they like. And if someone else enjoys it, then that's great! I just love sharing the things I enjoy doing.

Moving forward, this is my way of saying that I will be dialling down on UTAU-related activities significantly in terms of the program itself (maybe a little bit) and the community related to it. I have been valuing my own health recently, which has been bogged down for way too long. And I will be uploading covers sporadically, and I just want to focus on using the new voicebanks I released for years to come. Quite frankly, hobbies and interests are best enjoyed with close friends and probably not with bigger circles, and that alone has done wonders to me.

I will say that if I were to post covers, they might be posted back-to-back on some days. I will post my UTAU work through this site and my YouTube and BiliBili channels from now on, and I have an RSS feed set up in case you guys use them!

See you, HIRA