#and im still trying to figure out Where i got the bluntness from but i think that's just Me and not something i can blame my parents for | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

usercupid · 1 year

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Mixed Signals

hi yall! i know i have a history of making fics then disappearing but i actually have plans into making this a series! i don’t know how long it’ll span but i’m thinking 3 or 4 chapters so stay tuned if u like the story! 🪷🤍 also srry the ending is rushed cause im tired and just want to finish this!

elliot x fem reader

lowercase on purpose

not proofread

2.3k words

synopsis; you and elliot were best friends, and despite being flirtatious, there was never really anything going on between you two.. right?

Chapter 1: History class

junior year was rough. the new schedule adjustments, not knowing anyone in this new school, and being smart enough to not completely fail but also not smart enough to effortlessly pass all weighed down on you. you could get by being alone, but it was never easy. that was up until you met elliot.

“elliot, we have to finish this history project.” you advised. of course, you didn’t actually mean we. you always ended up carrying the weight of the work whenever you worked with him. normally, doing all the work in a group project would drive you up the wall. but whenever you got around elliot, you felt as if his presence was enough. you never pushed for anything more from him.

he was also your first best-friend, and you were his. nothing could compare to the nights you spent on the phone with him, whether you were doing algebra homework, or trying to pick out a dress for your first party, he was always there.

elliot took a pull from the blunt you both were smoking and it became infinitely hard for you to not stare. “y/n,” elliot started as he exhaled the smoke, “we have more than 2 weeks to finish this. and all we really have to do is copy what we wrote in our notebooks onto the poster board! it can’t be that difficult angel”

there was that nickname again. he’s used it plenty of times before now, but its weight never faltered because it always made you weak in the knees.

“but still, i’d like to finish this now so we have time for ourselves later,” you sighed, and in an attempt to hide your flustered face, you began copying down your notes to your poster.

“time for ourselves? what do you have in mind?” elliot teased as a sly smile appeared on his face, taking another hit from the blunt.

he didn’t know if the weed was making him bolder, or if it was the way the light from his window perfectly dawned on your relaxed figure, but elliot began to admire your features.

you were so soft with him, never making him feel smaller than you. always taking his feelings into consideration and looking out for him. even now, where you seem uptight, elliot couldn’t help but admire.

he couldn’t pinpoint just exactly what about you in this moment was enticing him like never before, but regardless of what it was, he couldn’t stop staring. and unbeknownst to elliot, you sensed him eyeing you down.

“y’know if you keep looking at me like that, i won’t get any work done.” you giggled, looking up at him.

“well that would be just terrible” he mused as he got up from his seat on the floor and moved closer to you on the bed to pass you the joint. he then held the blunt up to your lips and as you inhaled, you looked up at him. his eyes were low, red, and they never seemed to leave yours. he was so close, you were able to feel the warmth radiating off his body, and somehow, you never felt more comfortable.

his cool fingertips had just barely grazed your lips but that single, electrifying touch left you longing for more of him, and it took every ounce of strength you had to not ask.

after what felt like a century (but was just 6 seconds), he removed the blunt from in between your lips and watched you inhale the smoke, then exhale slowly. everything you did was hypnotic to him, and he couldn’t get enough.

the next day, you sat with jules and rue in the cafeteria. elliot decided to eat off campus for lunch, and you were glad that you hadn’t seen him all day yet. if you were being honest, you had been avoiding him all day.

you weren’t mad or upset at him by any means, but you just didn’t know what to say to him. i mean, what could you say? your relationship was always flirty, so why has it just hit you now?

“can i tell you guys something?” you blurted to your friends sitting across from you.

as you asked, you started to mindlessly scroll through you and elliot’s messages. you had never thought your feelings towards elliot were anything other than platonic up until a few weeks ago, and yesterday had only confirmed that you wanted him more than you’d like to admit.

“yeah sure, wassup?” rue asked, munching on her sandwich

“would you ever see me and elliot as.. you know,” you hesitated, “a thing? like together?”

“wait.. you guys aren’t ‘a thing?’” mocked jules. “i could've sworn you guys we’re together!?”

rue laughed to herself as she began to speak, “yeah i mean, you guys are always flirting with each other? i just assumed you guys were dating ‘nd just didn’t say.”

“you think so?” you questioned, fiddling with your well-manicured nails. you never saw anything between elliot and you until recently so there is no way that everyone else saw what you were so blind to.. right?

“yes, y/n, oh my god! i can’t believe you guys aren’t already dating!” jules exclaimed while giggling with rue. “i never want to hang out with the two of you alone because i feel like a third wheel!”

you were utterly surprised by the words that were coming out of your best friend's mouths. there was no way other people could see you guys together. there was no way they truly thought that.

you made a face as if all the gears in your head were turning, and in all honesty, they were. they were working their hardest as you started thinking that if everyone sees you both as a couple, that would have to mean he shows some sort of romantic feelings for you, right? he has to have looked at you in some way or said something to make everyone think you guys went out, right?!

“wait so you think he likes me too?” you excitedly asked.

“if his goo-goo eyes everytime you walk in weren’t a dead giveaway to how he feels, you should know he speaks about you every second of the day..” jules confessed, “whenever he starts telling me pointless ass stories about things you’ve guys have done together, i honestly just zone out.”

“how haven’t you noticed any of this? it’s so stupidly obvious, it’s not even funny” rue mumbled with a mouth full of food.

“i don’t know?! i just never thought of him — or us like that!” you said, laughing exasperatedly.

“probably ‘cause she’s in love too!” jules teasingly exclaimed. you knew she was joking, but for as long as you’ve known him, all you ever wanted to do was spend all day with him. he always showered you with attention and quality time. and even if he didn’t, you’d still drop everything to be with him. there was never any words or actions that needed to be spoken or done between the two of you in order for you to feel appreciated and loved.

loved. you would never bat an eye if you used that word to describe your relationship with him before.

“you guys should just get together,” rue said, crashing your train of thought as she gathered her stuff for her next class, “you're both ‘best friends’ already so nothing would have to change, right?”

you didn’t respond.

on one hand, it seemed like there was absolutely nothing to lose. apparently, he’s given multiple signs that he likes you so why not? why couldn’t you shake the feeling that everything would change?

“y/n, you don't have to make a decision right now, but remember that elliot would never do anything to make whatever you guys have going on weird. he genuinely cares,” jules reaffirmed, standing up from the table.

“thanks jules, but i honestly don’t think i’m gonna ‘make a decision.’ i just want to let things work themselves out so i don’t have to” you said, getting you things and going to your history class.

walking into your class, you immediately sensed elliot was there, despite him being sat in the far back. you didn’t really know what to say after that night in his room, on top of the bombshell rue and jules had just dropped on you.

as you walked into the class, you tried to scan for an empty seat that wasn’t the seat next to him. normally, you’d sit there with no hesitation, but you hadn’t prepared yourself enough to have the conversation that so desperately needs to be held.

fuck. you thought as you saw there were no more empty seats, annoyance written on your face.

you made your way to the desk nexts his and tried your hardest to avoid any unnecessary eye contact.

skipping this class would’ve been easier than enduring 45 minutes next to someone you’re trying your hardest to steer clear of but some shit just can’t be helped.

as you sat down and the lesson began, everything seemed to be going well except for the watchful pair of eyes that followed your every move.

you felt them as you picked up your pencil to jot down notes, as you took a sip from your water bottle, to when you opened your phone. you felt your energy being snuffed by his piercing gaze.

“maybe if i just ignore him he’ll stop.” you hoped to yourself.

15 minutes had gone by and he has not stopped once. you couldn’t figure out if he was doing it on purpose to make you freak out or if he was just that nosey but you finally had enough.

“don’t stare, it’s rude.” you seethed silently, looking at him for the first time since class started

“oh you decided you want to talk to me now? to what do i owe the honor” elliot haphazardly taunted.

“damn he noticed i was ignoring him” you thought to yourself.

“only ‘cause you’ve been staring at me for the past like, 15 minutes?”

“only ‘cause you’ve been ignoring me all day.”

“i haven’t been ignoring you?” lie 1.

“you haven’t?”

“no” lie 2.

“so why haven’t you said a word to me like, all day?”

“we just have nothing to speak about” lie 3.

“you sure? cause i heard something completely different from jules”

of course.

of course she was the reason you got caught in your lies. you internally laughed to yourself and left a mental note to never trust jules with anything even mildly important again.

but on the bright side, thank god he stopped interrogating you or else your conscience would’ve started eating you alive to feed all those lies you were spouting. i guess in an odd way, you’d be able to thank jules for saving your conscience. or maybe not.

“oh really?” you smirked “what did jules tell you then?” you couldn’t let your facade fall. you knew how to work your way out of shit, even if jules mucked up your oh-so-amazing plan.

“not much” elliot replied, “she just told me you had something to say to me”

you sighed to yourself. you could either keep playing this game of avoiding talking about your situation-ship, or come clean and possibly ruin what you both have.

you know that there’s a chance that he wants you back. but why ruin what you both have right now? it’s like when you’re doing your eyebrows and they’re absolutely perfect, but you keep plucking at them to make them even better, and before you know it, you end up over plucking and now have 2 uneven brows!

why ruin what’s already been so good to you? you’re both fine with what you were.

“well she was wrong,” you finally said. “do you have anything to say to me?” a tinge of hopefulness written in that question.

after a few seconds of silence, he replied,

“no.”

see, you knew you shouldn’t have pushed it. everything could’ve been gone in a matter of seconds.

“cool.” you uttered.

you picked up a blackberry from the bowl of fruit you were snacking on and ate it while retelling maddy and cassie everything that happened in history yesterday.

“cool?” maddy repeated “why the fuck would you say cool y/n?”

“yeah you’re giving him mixed signals” cassie chimed in.

“i honestly didn’t know what else to say like, i knew if i said anything more, i could ruin 3 years worth of friendship.”

“yeah but by not saying anything you could’ve ruined 3 years worth of friendship” sighed cassie “if one day you guys were hotboxing in his room getting close, and the next you’re giving him the cold shoulder, what’s he supposed to think?”

“it’s not like he wanted to speak about it though so why should i be the one that has to?” you asked, popping a mango cube in your mouth.

“so you want him to come to you?” maddy questioned, “i’m confused why you’re even stuck over him anyway. if you’re not dating why is your relationship this stressful? take advantage of you’re stress-free, single life girl!”

“maybe you’re right about that, i mean, if we’re not together why am i even overthinking this?” you giggled, sitting up from your bed.

“no yeah, don’t stress over shit like this. if you want him to make the first move and he doesn’t, just stay friends and find someone else” maddy suggested.

just as maddy said that, a notification popped up on your phone.

elliot 🤍; do u want to come over tmr?

#elliot x reader #euphoria #euphoria x reader #elliot euphoria #elliot imagine #writing #euphoria fic #maddy x reader #cassie x reader #rue x reader #jules x reader #euphoria x y/n #euphoria x fem!reader #euphoria x you #elliot x you #mixed signals #usercupid

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artbyclo-again · 5 months

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Rambling about character development in the new digital circus episode because holy moly i have a lot of thoughts

god this episode was so wonderful for fully rounding out the characters so far because we got to see parts of each character that we didn’t really see as much in the pilot

(im gonna put a cut so this post doesn’t take too much space but i talk about each of the human characters here)

i could make a whole separate post about pomnis development this ep but she especially is a great example of this; she spends almost the entire pilot panicking (she has some moments like with ragatha where she tries staying calm and figuring things out but she’s still clearly stressed the whole time) meanwhile in this ep despite how she’s still miserable in the beginning, unlike the pilot where we mainly saw other characters (mostly just ragatha and sometimes caine) reassuring/guiding her, she has a moment to calm down and we even see her empathize with another character and try reassure him.

i feel like her little heart to heart with gummigoo is a turning point for her this episode, it helps her realize and talk about her own worries of feeling like nothing to the other castmates and it gives her more confidence and comfort having someone going through the same issue, it’s after this that she seems more open to the other castmates particularly ragatha compared to how much she seemed to shut down interactions in the beginning of the ep or just not respond. and then!!! seeing how they still hold a funeral for each abstraction to remember them shows her how much the other characters still care and value eachother and that would soon include her as well!!

speaking of ragatha we also see her still going with her same habits in the pilot; focusing on putting the other performers first, comforting them and in pomnis case, trying to sweep the whole “you leaving me” thing under the rug despite still seeming hurt by it and pomni still feeling guilty. this is how she copes but we see how much these habits backfire on her; they don’t properly communicate and talk about what happened in the pilot, pomni doesn’t fully apologize because she spaces out while ragathas talking (i can imagine this might bottle up for the both of them and lead to conflict later) and despite her good intent she unintentionally comes off as patronizing “i’m not a child you don’t have to hype me up”

in the pilot ragathas more of a comforting/guiding character but in this episode we see her worry about pomni the whole time knowing how horrible her first day was but with how overwhelmed pomni still is she’s not able to reciprocate any of ragathas interactions. We see how this stresses ragatha out because again helping others is how she copes, she doesn’t know what to do when this doesn’t work and immediately thinks of the worst, that pomni doesn’t like her until kinger reassures her that she just needs time

AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, KINGER!!! ITS KINGER WHO REASSURES HER he’s still pretty out of it like we see in the pilot but he has that moment of being a more grounding figure for ragatha which is really nice because again we mainly see ragatha being the one trying to comfort the other characters! and it also gives a lot more insight into his character; despite his memory issues and trauma he still cares a lot about the other characters and tries helping and giving them advice when he’s able to

we also see more of zoobles character even though they were barely in the episode. they were pretty blunt and uncaring towards the other performers in the pilot but spent the entire episode off screen preparing kaufmos funeral!

jax and gangle weren’t super different from the pilot but there were some parts of their characters that were still expanded on that’s worth talking about i think

jax was just….. a lot more aggressive this episode then the pilot LMFAO we already knew he was gonna be an ass so it’s not really a surprise but it’s fun seeing the more chaotic parts of his personality; not just that but in the pilot there was a moment when kaufmo was being put in the cellar where he looked mad but they definitely emphasized his mask breaking more in this ep when they mentioned the funeral. I really think he cares about the abstractions a lot more then he lets on but he doesn’t want to be seen in a emotionally vulnerable way and that’s why he didn’t attend the funeral. i think he’s such a jerk to the other characters because he doesn’t wanna get attached to them because there’s always a chance they could abstract so i’m really interested on how he’s gonna develop later down the line

we got to see gangle with her comedy mask!! in the beginning!! i loved her screentime but there isn’t much i can think of to say at the moment but we did see some of her art too which is so cute to me and also upsetting because she drew her and kaufmo laughing becAUSE SHE FELT GUILTY ABOUR NOT LAUGHING AT HIS JOKES 😭😭 i like to think she draws art for the other characters pretty frequently…

anyways thanks for reading i just really needed to ramble abt this ep i really loved it

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #long post #digital circus #pomni #ragatha #kinger #jax #zooble #gangle #analysis #digital circus meta

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byrdtrollsunoreversearchive · 7 months

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Nightmare Blunt Rotation

What’s one thing you never expected to happen in February 2024? Is it an Ervmir Demork Drabble?

(hehe, a short little side thing I wrote)

It’s late into the day. You are playing an indie dating sim on your laptop in the front hall. It is the only place in your penthive apartment where there are reliably no other people or servants. Though the dark glow of security cameras reminds you are always being watched all the same. You like to stay up late in the day, when it’s quiet and most of the staff and your father’s ‘friends’ have long since gone home. You are completely bombing it on all these conversation options. You like to do no-mercy runs on kiss in the dark demon quadrant simulator and get all the bad endings.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

“Uh, sir?” You hear from behind the wood.

“Hello?” You reply.

“Ervmir” The voice replies, and you recognize it as the buildings security guard. “Can you get your father?”

“Depends why” You answer.

“This woman is demanding to see him, I tried to get her to leave, but I think she’s lost her marbles-“

“OPEN UP HASCHA” insists a demanding, female voice who begins banging on the doorway.

You curl up into a little ball on the couch.

“You’re a really bad security guard!” You yell. “Who the fuck is that!”

“She’s like eight feet tall! What was I supposed to-“ The guard argues.

“Figure it out!” You squeak.

“I demand to speak to Hascha” Orders the woman.

“I’m going to tase you” the guard says to her. “If you don’t leave.”

“Less warning-more tasing!” You order.

There is a sound of a large thud, and a scream.

You back further into your corner, hoping the security guard has been triumphant in whatever struggle just occurred, but the universe would never be so kind.

“Open the door” says the woman. “Hascha will recognize me”

“Yeah well” you stutter. “If you hurt the security guard! He’ll be angry!”

“Go to bed Erv,” Says a male voice. “Two in the damn morning.”

You jump as your father enters the room from behind. Against all logic, he walks over and opens the door.

A giant, horrific beast of a woman dressed like Mary Poppins straightens her back, covered in blood.

Hascha glances at the bottle of wine in his hands, and then back at her.

“Haha” he says. “I wondered if Eponin and all those bitches were crazy.” He says. “Are you real?” He says, waving a hand in front of her.

“Im real” she says. “I'm standing right in front of you” she says, sidestepping your father into the hive, much to your dismay.

“Verula, did you fall from heaven because I thought you dropped dead 50 sweeps ago” Hascha jokes.

“Ha ha. You’re drunk” she says.

“I must be. Did you kill my security guard?” They stutter.

“My kismesis was murdered right in front of me” Verula replies.

“Right” your father says, wincing, scratching the back of his neck. “Bummer. That is so rough Buddy.”

“Do you still have that cask I gave you 60 sweeps ago from that off world winery?”

“Now you’re speaking my language. But also no, I already drank it.” Your father says, leaning on the wall.

“Hascha!” You squeak. “Who the fuck is this! She killed our security guard!”

“I’ll explain to you when you’re older. Go to bed, Erv.”

“Why. It’s not like I’ve got shit to do tomorrow” you retort. “In case you forgot, you fired me”

“Who is that?” Verula says, staring at you.

“Oh this grub I adopted” Hascha replies.

“Why?” Verula.

“I dunno. For fun. To make my life worse”

“Whatever” she dismisses. “Can I stay at your place for a couple nights.”

“Of course,” he says, leading the woman upstairs. “Everyone’s trying to kill you by the way. They’ve all lost it.”

“Wonderful” the jadeblood says, wiping blood off her face.

And then you are in the front hall, alone. You sigh. It’s just you and the dead security guard. You try to ignore him for a moment, but you have not yet sunk so low morally that you can continue to play a dating sim over a fresh corpse. You take a deep breath, closing your laptop, and walking over to him. Shakily, you reach over and pull his id out of his vest, and go to call this guy's family.

You are in the front hall again the next time you see her. You had to wait even longer for the hive to empty. Hascha and their mysterious undead fling had been having some kind of kismesis grief bender for the past week, and avoiding them at very nearly any time of night or day has become more difficult and frustrating. You are trying to finish a demon’s route in the game when you are once again interrupted.

The two large trolls are walking into the kitchen, giggling with each other.

“Maid!” Hascha calls. “We can cook something- Where is the- Maid!” He says, stumbling around.

You sigh. This was not the first time he’s lost track of time and forgotten the servants go home at day. Hopefully Verula could be a voice of reason to him. You don’t want to have to tell him again. For some reason he always gets upset with you, like you were insane for reminding him the hive staff slept.

“Maid!” Verula calls. “Maid!” Oh, wonderful. You think. They’re both on something. They’re both intoxicated.

The calling out for the maid and wandering around the hive and resolving into giggling continues for some time, before you snap.

“It’s two am! The staff went home!” You shout.

“Motherfucker.” Hascha complains. “Go to bed, Erv!” He says, hypocritically. “Whatever. We’ll order online.”

“You can order food online? Like through a computer?” Verula says, like a woman who’s been dead for a long time.

“New age magic darling- the miracle of computer.” He says, taking a moment to try and doordash on his phone. The jadeblood plucks a joint from his hand.

“Do the robots deliver it?” she jokes.

“Nah, just app people” he dismisses.

The woman coughs.

“What?”

“Like the people who work for the app” he says. “They get a message and deliver the food” he attempts to explain. The jadeblood takes another hit.

“An army of people in the app?” She says, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah” he says. “Wait- give that back” he says, trying to grab the joint.

“What?” She says.

“I forget if I laced that one.” He says, taking back the joint.”

She stares at her now empty hand.

“You know Hascha” she says. “I didn’t think you’d still be like this.”

“What?” He says.

“You know. When you got kicked out of the fleet and put on planet arrest” The jadeblood says, giggling. “And you were like, I’m gonna spend every day partying like there is no tomorrow and doing hard drugs and shit. I thought you were just like. Going through something. And you’d come to your senses in like, a few sweeps at most. And get back on your feet. And weasel your way back into the fleet or something. And you’re still doing this shit? And you have a kid?” She says

“Hey” he says. “I own a billion dollar news company.”

“You’re having a laced joint on a Tuesday night after we already drank the rest of that wine.”

“One you just stole from me” They retort. “Glass hives, darling.”

“If I were a better person,” She says. “I’d be worried about you.”

“If I were a better person” He replies. “I’d want you to worry about me.”

“You’ve really been doing this?” Dentry says. “For 50 sweeps? Did 857 truly break your pan so badly?” She says, miming a knocking motion on their head. It’s unfitting the seriousness of the conversation, but he does not seem to mind.

“Maybe not all the time,” He says. “Sober up for a couple weeks, or a month, your tolerance builds back up, you can put your life back together just enough that everything looks fine on the surface and money keeps flowing, and then go have fun again.”

“Sounds like you have it down to a science” She says. “What a miserable way to live.”

“Oh it's a wonderful way to live” He argues. “Probably gonna die someday” They admit. “But it’s a wonderful view from halfway down.”

You turn up the music on your headphones, and try your best to return your focus to the game. But it’s too late- it's ruined. You are clicking through the options but your brain is barely processing them.

Eventually there is a loud thud from the other room.

“Fuck” you hear the jadeblood say. “That is- shit” the woman says, clearly having a sub optimal time.

“What?” Hascha says.

“I think it just hit me” she stumbles. “I think that was laced. That is- too much uppy. Not enough downy.”

“Don’t freak out,” he retorts.

“I’m not freaking out. I’ll be fine. Do we have more wine? Or normal weed? I’m just need something more downy”

“Maybe-“ Hascha says, and then proceeds to look in all of the various places in the hive where they kept alcohol. This takes a long time. There are many places.

“Fuck” he says. “I think that’s everything. Where’s- MAID!”

“The maid went home!” You snap, again.

“Erv” he says. “Perfect” he says, stumbling into the room.

“I need you to go to the winery on 5th and downing. The one we like. I need you to grab like 15 Domaine Leroy for the lounge and 10 Corton-Charlemagne for the cellar. Make sure it’s the one with 18% alcohol from that place in Tuscany. Take the spaceship.” He says, dropping the keys in your hand. Fascinating, how he’s able to remember everything about the winery so specifically except a very key detail.

“The winery” you say. “IS CLOSED! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.”

“Christ, well you don’t have to yell you little shit.” He retorts.

“I don’t think you need more wine” You say.

“Verula’s freaking out” They say, waving their hand dismissively.

“Exactly why you should not give her more alcohol, genius” You say softly.

“What was that?” He snaps.

“Nothing” You mutter, losing your nerve.

“Okay” Hascha says, turning and stumbling away. “Here’s what you do-“ he begins, and then walks out of earshot. Several minutes pass. You begin to silently hope he has gone and passed out someplace, muttering to himself, but right when you are going to go back to bed, he returns, holding a crowbar, which he then hands to you.

“Okay Ervmir- here’s what you do. You’re going to break into the winery.”

“What?” You say, hoping he is joking.

“Step one: you break the winery window. Step two, you leave 5 hundred thousand Caegar bills on the desk in reimbursement. You take all of the liquor you can fit into the spaceship- actually I don’t trust you with the spaceship. You WALK to the winery but still carry as much alcohol as you can fit in the spaceship. And everyone wins”

“I lose,” you say. “I get arrested.”

“No you don’t- you do it all very quietly.” Hascha reassures.

“I can’t WALK to the winery!! It’s day! I’ll get burned!”

“Erv, Verula is really freaking out. And her freaking out is freaking me out. And we really do need new alcohol.” Hascha says, picking you up, and placing you in the hallway outside their penthouse apartment.

“What! No! I’m not stealing you booze! What if a paparazzi sees me!!” You plead to deaf ears as he takes your keys, holding them out of your reach.

“Listen” he says. “I’m going to lock you out. And you aren’t allowed back in. Unless you go to the winery. Okay? Thank you. Goodbye Erv.” He says, and he shuts the door in your face. Motherfucker. You are going to kill him for real someday. You bang on the apartment door, part in hopes he’ll change his mind and part in an expression of anger and frustration.

Before eventually, your breathing evens enough that you pull yourself to your feet, and storm off in search of an umbrella.

Two whole hours later, you bang on the door again, with a cart full of wine from the winery.

Hascha opens it.

“Ervmir” he says. “What took you so long”

“Ha Ha” you reply, voice layered with contempt. “It takes a while to break into a winery”

“It seems like an in and out kind of deal” he critiques.

“You’re lucky I came back at all” you say.

Verula, the woman herself, peeks out of the hallway.

“Thank you Ervmir.”

“I hate you both and I hope you die. I poisoned every one of these” you say, shoving the cart into the room.

“He’s joking” Hascha reassures the jadeblood, who true to his word, looks a little freaked out.

“One of these days I won’t be!” You snap. “I’m gonna go call Esveri.” You say, your voice cracking.

“You’re gonna call your boyfriend at, what is it? 4am?”

“WHO ELSE WOULD I CALL?” You snap. “Hire me a twenty four seven therapist! You might as well pay someone to parent me if you’re going to try this hard!” You yell, storming off to your room.

You shut the door, but linger by it.

“He’s a good kid,” You hear Verula mutter softly to your father, popping the cork off a bottle.

“He hates me.” Hascha replies

“Yeah, well, no shit” the jadeblood answers.

#alcoholism tw #drug use tw #addiction tw #emotional abuse tw #ervmir writing #my writing #fantroll #fantroll rp #homestuck #homestuck oc #homestuck rp #hiveswap #friendsim #pesterquest

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slamminslamminmcgill · 2 years

Text

Terms of Employment - Saul Goodman/FTM Reader (NSFW!)

lord help me im back on my bullshit. this is a sequel to my first saul/ftm reader fic. you wake up the morning after and discuss the current situation with your boss/apparent sex partner: saul goodman

tags/warnings: office sex, rough sex, oral sex, light bondage, daddy kink, homophobic/transphobic slurs, squirting, humiliation/degradation, trans fetishization

anatomical terms: dick/cock and cunt/pussy/hole are used interchangeably

words: 4,061

ao3 link

Your head was spiraling the morning after. You awoke from a deep sleep in a bed that felt way more luxurious than your own. The gaudy decorations that littered the walls only exacerbated the pounding in your head. You sluggishly peeled the blankets off, your body aching with even the slightest movement. Wait, where were your clothes? And where the hell were you? How were you going to get-

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”

That answers that question. And literally every other question that had yet to finish buffering. Suddenly, the memories came flooding back. Your boss, the ubiquitous presence on every possible advertisement space in Albuquerque, Saul fucking Goodman, had given you the type of fucking that’d make a nun burst into flames. And he didn’t seem like a smug piece of shit about it, rather cautious, actually. He was standing by your side of the bed, dressed in a comfortable-looking tracksuit, handing you your clothes with a sheepish smile.

“I, uh… I guess you’re starting to remember how we got here. Listen, I’m really sorry if it was too much. You seemed like you were into it, so I wanted to, uh… keep the hype going, ya get me? I hope I didn’t hurt you or-”

“Oh no, i-it’s fine,” you cut him off, accepting your clothes from him, “I… I really did enjoy it. I kinda like it rough.” You flashed that same hesitant smile he had given you as you put your shirt on. God, this was fucking awkward. You definitely wanted more, but you had no idea how you’d even continue working together after this. Were you just expected to never talk about it again? Probably not, since you both were talking about it now, but what were you supposed to do? There wasn’t a page in your employee handbook on what to do after you fuck your boss.

He let out a small chuckle at your response, and relaxed his posture a bit. At least you both could let your guard down a bit. “Heh, kinda? Sweetheart, you take a beating better than some of my toughest clients. I mean, I know I’m not in the best shape but-...“ He lost his train of thought as you stood up to put your underwear on, his eyes unconsciously trailing downward before darting away not so subtly. “Ah, nevermind. So you enjoyed it, huh? Would you wanna… do it again sometime? Maybe we could make this a regular thing?”

You internally breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that his blunt nature took the pressure off you. “I’d like that.” This time, your smile was genuine and confident.

His sigh of relief was dramatic. “Oh thank god,” he exhaled, “I’d been stressing that all night. You’re a good kid. I’d hate to make things weird between us. Well… weirder, I guess. Not exactly a conventional boss/assistant relationship anyway, am I right?”

You couldn’t help but agree with that.

Saul continued. “But listen, let’s just keep this a secret between us, alright? I’d hate to make things difficult for you, and personally, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole ‘I just fucked a dude in his pussy’ thing, y’know?”

You snorted a little at his last remark. “Yeah, that’s fine. I get it. I didn’t think you were into men, anyway.”

“Well, you’re a special case. And besides,” he placed his hands on your hips and leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “It’ll be nice to have a cute little plaything like you on standby.”

You shuddered at his teasing words. You’d hate to stroke his ego even more, but fuck, he was good. You figured you’d better fire back to show him you can keep up. “Sounds perfect, Daddy” was what you ended up with, making sure to drag out that last word.

“Oh ho, is that the direction we’re taking things? I can get behind that,” He replied, lust dripping from his words. Though he switched gears pretty quickly, likely not wanting to cede control to you. “In due time though, kid. Let me drive you home. We got a big caseload this week, so come in an hour early on Monday, got it? I’ll be there to let you in.”

You likewise shifted back into business mode before he walked you two out to the car. “Sure thing, Mr. Goodman.”

—

The weekend passed you by, and you were outside the office on Monday morning an hour earlier than usual per your boss’s request. You knocked on the glass door to the building, and heard a muffled shout from the inside.

“Just a sec!”

“Alright!” You shouted back before absentmindedly checking your phone. You heard him stumbling around inside the dark office. You’d wondered previously why he wouldn’t turn the lights on when he called you in early, but with the amount of walk-in clients he got day in and day out, you got the gist.

Saul eventually hobbled over to the front door and unlocked it for you. He seemed strangely out of breath. “Good to see you here bright and early, kiddo. We got a lot to cover today,” He placed his hand on the small of your back as you walked in, “Have a seat in my office, I’ll be there shortly.”

“Yes, sir.” You replied. Sex was the last thing on your mind at 6:30 in the morning, but you couldn’t deny that calling him “sir” had a spicier taste now. The slightest hint of subordination to him was enough to spark your interest these days. You pushed open the door to his office and noticed an immediate roadblock to the task he had given you. “Uh, Mr. Goodman?”

“Yes?”, he asked, following you in.

“Where are all the chairs?”

The only seating in his office was his chair, behind his desk. You had a smaller desk off to the side, but your chair was gone. The chairs in front of his desk were gone too. Even that gross couch of his was nowhere in sight. Was he robbed? No, that wouldn’t make sense. Who would break into the most infamous law firm in the city just to steal his auxiliary office chairs? And he was here before you, too. He had to have known, right?

“I said,” He strode past you and sat himself down in his chair, crossing his legs and gesturing to the hardwood desk, “Have a seat.”

That son of a bitch. He made you get up at 5AM just to fuck with you. He was here at god knows what hour just to set the stage for your debasement. You weren’t sure how to feel, anger and arousal both waging a war over your psyche. You begrudgingly followed suit, plopping yourself down on the desk in front of him. You made sure to keep your legs closed and your gaze averted. You wanted to make him work for it, at least for a little while.

“There we go, that wasn’t so complicated, was it? Now, let's get down to brass tacks,” Saul traced his hand up your dress pants, in between your legs, and up to your crotch. You usually wore a packer when you went out, which evidently he must have noticed, and he gave it a not-so-gentle squeeze before he spoke. “We both know what’s going on here, so who exactly are you trying to fool?”

You gasped when he touched you, trying to squirm out of his grasp. You sputtered trying to answer him. “I’m… I’m not-”

“Take it off.”

“Si… Sir, I-”

He squeezed you even tighter. “I think you forgot your place here, kid. Your superior gave you an order. Need me to spell it out for you? I’m gonna let you go, and you’re going to take your pants off for me. Understand?”

“Y-yes, sir…”

“Good boy. Now, get up.”

Saul kept his word and released you from his grip. It was as if the praise he gave you went straight to your head and kicked you into subspace. You slid off the desk and undid your belt with shaking fingers. You felt his eyes burning a hole into you as you dropped your pants and underwear, the silicone packer bouncing as it hit the floor. No doubt your face was bright red, and you still couldn’t look him in the eye. Once your bottom half was uncovered, you shimmied back onto the desk, your bare legs squishing against the cold wood. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you like this before, but this was the first time you’d been fully cognisant of your actions, and the first time he ordered you to strip. You were too shy to open your legs for him without command.

“Look at me,” He said, and you slowly turned to meet his eyes. He was watching you hungrily, his elbows propped on the armrests and his hands folded in front of his mouth. There was no hint of compassion in his voice. He was all business. “Spread ‘em.”

You obliged. Your eyes felt heavy, as if tears were threatening to well up, and your brain was starting to slow. Your cheeks and your cunt both felt like they were on fire, and the cold air stung as you exposed yourself to him. All you could think of was how embarrassed you were. You had never felt so fucking humiliated, but you had no idea how much worse it was going to get.

“That’s more like it. No need to cover up your best feature. What a shame that you’d try to hide such a pretty little hole behind a piece of cheap silicone. Why don’t you uh…” Saul made an upside-down V with his fingers, “...give me a better view?”

You gulped, not wanting to risk talking back to him. You mimicked his gesture against your lips, spreading them open to show him. Much to your dismay (or was it delight?), you were starting to get wet and your t-dick was already hard.

“Aw, are you getting excited from this?” he mocked, “No seriously, are you? I mean, it’s kinda hard to tell with such a tiny dick like that, y’know? Tell me, do you like getting treated like this?”

You did. You really did. You wanted more, but you’d dare not overstep. “Y-yes…”

“Yes, what? Go on, say it.”

“Yes, Saul. I… I like it when you treat me like this…”

“Prove it.”

That shocked you. You don’t know why. In fact, you should’ve seen it coming, but it still mystified you when he said it. You figured you knew what he wanted from you, but you didn’t want to assume. “H…How do you mean?”

“Prove it,” Saul repeated his instruction as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Prove to me that you like being degraded like this. I want you to get yourself off right here on my desk. I wanna see you stroke your puny little dick for me like the needy little whore you are.”

Jesus fucking Christ. You had to stifle a moan when he said that. He knew how to work you, and the bastard wasn’t even doing the work himself. You dragged your hand down to your aching cock and wrapped 2 fingers around it before you began to stroke it. You were embarrassed to make noises while he was watching, though biting your lip could only do so much.

Saul looked at you like you were about as interesting as a water cooler instruction manual. He was trying his hardest to seem disinterested, wanting to keep up the act. “C’mon slut, get into it. You said you like it, right? Let me hear you.”

You let a couple noises slip. Mainly just quiet gasps and squeaks. At one point you sighed, “Fuck… Saul…”

“You’re on the clock, sugar. Don’t call me by my first name. You should know better than that.”

“S-sorry sir…” You stuttered, speeding up your motions. “I’ll… ngh…. I’ll be good.”

“You’ll be a good boy for Daddy?”

Motherfucker. Saul was an expert at using your words against you. Part of you regretted giving him that ammunition the other day, but part of you was ecstatic to hear him say it. You replied with affirmation while continuing to chase your high, “Yes, Daddy…”

“Good boy. Y’know, you’re so cute like this. Seeing you pinch that tiny little dick of yours and try to jack it like it’s an actual cock.” You’re not sure what hurt more, his backhanded compliments or a literal backhand from him. Both left a pleasant sting in their wake. “You can’t even call it a dick, really. Just serves as decoration for that nice tight pussy you have. It’s fun watching you pretend otherwise, though. How about you shove a couple fingers inside and fuck yourself the way a cuntboy like you deserves?”

You purred at his request, eager to satisfy him at your own expense. “Ah… y-yes, Daddy…” While still stroking your dick, you slipped two small fingers inside yourself, trying desperately to hit that special spot, but failing. You wished his longer fingers would replace yours. He had hit that spot in no time. Even so, you got loud. You weren’t even trying to stifle it anymore. Shameless whining, heavy panting, the most pitiful noises escaped you as you climbed closer and closer to your peak.

“Ah… f-fuck… sir, I mean, Daddy… shit… I…”

“You’re getting close?”

“Ngh… Yes… Daddy… fuck… please… I need…”

“Stop.”

And it all came crashing down. The climax you had built yourself up to disappeared, but not without a trace. You were still painfully hard, and your pussy was drenched. Droplets fell off your hands and it felt like you were sitting in a puddle. You whimpered softly, hoping he’d take pity on you, but he knew your game.

“Shhh…” he said, “Not yet, baby boy. You said you wanna be good for me, right? Then you gotta listen to me. Now, I want you to get off that desk and get down on your knees in front of me. Let me show you what a real cock looks like.”

You crept down from the desk and settled on your knees below him. He unbuckled his belt and placed it on the desk, making sure to avoid the wet spot you had left behind. He unzipped his pants agonizingly slowly, his obvious erection making you salivate. He fished out his cock, and it was gorgeous. A pretty decent length, and he was thick and uncut, already glistening with precum. You didn’t really get a good look at it last time, but it made sense why you were sore the next day. You shifted your position slightly, trying to get a little more friction against you.

“Getting a little jealous, huh? That’s what I thought. You went crazy over it the other day.” Saul gave himself a languid stroke, just to tease you.

It worked. You wanted him so bad, you couldn’t help yourself. “Please, Daddy… c-can I…?”

“Can you what?”

“Can… Can I suck it?”

Saul laughed, but you saw his cock throb in his hand. He wanted you bad. “Jesus, you’re an even bigger faggot than I thought! Sure, whatever, go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out.” You went to take it in your hand, but he grabbed your wrist to stop you. “Ah ah ah, what do we say?”

That smug son of a bitch. He was insufferable in the best kind of way. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome, whore. Now suck it.”

He let go of your wrist and you eagerly took him in your grasp. You spit on the tip and spread it over his length, his foreskin peeling back as you did so. You wrapped your lips around his head and began to suck, running your tongue along the underside and probing his hole with your tongue. While you slobbered on the tip, you used your hand to take care of the rest. He tasted so fucking good. His precum was salty and sweet, and his musk was driving you crazy. You pulled your mouth off the tip with a satisfying pop, and lowered yourself down to his balls. Licking and sucking on them frantically, you could hear him hiss above you as you worked him over. You were completely and utterly cockdrunk, and you’d do anything to show your gratitude. In fact, you were probably more into it than he was.

“Look at you,” he sighed contentedly, “You look right at home on your knees worshiping a cock like this. I bet you wish you had one just like it, huh, tranny?”

You moaned into his balls as he talked down to you, feeling his body twitch in response. That slur hit you just right. You took his cock into your mouth again and started bobbing up and down his shaft, striving to please him however you could.

“Heh, I’ll take that as a yes. How adorably pathetic. I knew this would be a good idea. I figured you’d start drooling when I took my cock out. I bet that’s all you think about, right, faggot? Just how good it’d feel to have a fat cock like mine filling you up in every hole you’ve got?”

Another desperate moan answered his question for him. You enthusiastically pumped him with one hand, and tried sneaking the other one down to take care of yourself, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

Big mistake.

“Ah!” Saul grabbed your hair and pulled you off him. “Don’t think I don’t see that. You’ll get yours when I say so, hole.” He leaned over you and grabbed his belt off the desk. “Though in the meantime, this should remind you who’s in charge here.” He let go of your hair and pulled the belt taut. “Hands behind your back.”

You complied, and he reached down to wrap the belt around your wrists. Pulling the belt through the fastener, he slipped two fingers in to make sure it wasn’t too tight. What a gentleman. When he was done, he sat back in his chair and looked down at you expectedly. “Well? Tell Daddy thank you for disciplining you.”

You parroted his words back to him. “Thank you for disciplining me, Daddy.” The sick thing was you truly meant it.

He gently patted your head, tousling your hair a little bit. “Good job. That’s my boy. Now…” He gripped your hair once more, his other hand stabilizing his cock at the base, “...take a deep breath for me.”

You knew what was coming, and began to inhale. Though before you could finish, Saul decided you’d gotten enough air, and forced you down onto him. He fucked your mouth relentlessly, spit pooling around your lips and spilling down your chin. You were doing your best not to gag, and for the most part you were successful. Except for when he’d force you down to the base and pinch your nose. He groaned at the feeling of you struggling around him, though he’d always show mercy and let you catch your breath before making you run the gauntlet again.

“Goood boy. I love fucking this whore mouth of yours. Good thing I hired you. Got my own little cuntboy to use like a fleshlight whenever I want.” He took you down to his base again, and before he could pinch your nose, you flicked your tongue across his balls. That caught him by surprise and got him to moan like a bitch. “Shit! Ah… fuck that’s good, kid…” He got louder and louder as he approached the top, fucking your mouth insatiably, “Getting close… ngh… gonn-ah… gonna cum down your f-fucking throat… yeah… take it, faggot… take it… I know you want it… f-fuck…!” He came with an earth-shattering groan, using both hands to push you all the way down. His cum shot down your throat in what felt like buckets, and he didn’t pull you off until he was empty. When he did, your throat was burning and you were gasping for air. Nevertheless, you made sure to swallow it all.

Your efforts did not go unappreciated. You looked up at your boss and saw him slumped back in his chair, panting heavily, face flushed, and looking up at the ceiling with a goofy smile on his face. He looked spent, but his cock was still semi-hard. Remembering where he was, he tilted his head down to see you, and he gently rubbed your cheek.

“Such a good boy… so good to me…” he sighed, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit smug from his praise. “How about I return the favor?”

You thought he’d never ask. “Please, yes, Daddy. Did I do a good job?”

“Very good…” Saul replied, grabbing you by your shoulders and hoisting you up with him. He spun you around and slid his hands down to your hips. Once he had the leverage to do so, he bent you down over his desk. “...and good boys get rewards.” A firm hand pressed your face into the desk and kept you pinned down, while his other hand went to work himself back up. When he was ready to go, he got into position and teased your opening with his cock. “Come on, pumpkin. Daddy wants to hear you say it.”

Of course he does. You wondered if it was physically possible to have sex with him without needing to stroke his ego. But you loved it. Any modicum of shame you had left went out the window as you begged, “Please, Daddy. Please put it in. I want it so bad. Please, please, please fuck me.”

He chuckled at your pathetic whimpering, though not to degrade you further. He was genuinely enjoying the effect he had on you. He leaned down to kiss your cheek before he spoke, “I got you, baby. Daddy’s got you.”

Slam

With one hard thrust, Saul bottomed out in you. You cried out in ecstasy, finally getting the fucking you’d worked so hard for. He didn’t think to start off slow; he knew what you wanted. He pounded into you relentlessly, hitting your base with every thrust. His hips pushed yours into the desk so roughly that you thought you’d bruise. Your head was empty and your mouth hung open drooling. All you could think about was his cock. You loved it. You needed to show your boss how grateful you were.

“Th… Thank… you…. Daddyyy….”

“Aww, you’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.” He really was. He loved how he could get you to thank him without being prompted. While keeping you pressed against the desk, he snuck his hand down to your aching cock, and jerked you in time with his motions. “Go ahead and cum for me, darling. It’s okay. Let Daddy feel you cum.”

It was all too much, how his cock filled you up so perfectly, how his rough hands took such gentle care of your dick and kept you helpless underneath him, how sweetly he’d talk you through your orgasm. You couldn’t hold on. He pulled your orgasm from you easily, your wetness squirting out against his bare thighs. From the way he groaned at your release, you could tell he wasn’t far behind. A couple rapid thrusts and he was gone, burying himself completely within you as his cum coated your walls. You both trembled at the feeling of him filling you up. Having him deep inside you, so warm and full, it just felt so right. He stayed in until he softened, taking his hand off your head and slowly withdrawing his cock. You whined as you felt his cum spill out of you, and he just stepped back to admire the sight. He knelt down and tucked his seed back into you, finishing the job by planting a soft kiss against your wrecked hole, a breathless moan escaping your lips.

Saul climbed back up to you and laid his body on top of yours. He kissed your cheek and played with your hair, enjoying the warmth and softness of your figure. You didn’t see him as much of a cuddler, but you weren’t complaining…

“Enjoy it while it lasts, kid. We got 5 minutes before our first client.”

…yet.

#saul goodman #jimmy mcgill #saul goodman x reader #jimmy mcgill x reader #saul goodman smut #jimmy mcgill smut #breaking bad #brba #better call saul #bcs #saul goodman x ftm reader #jimmy mcgill x ftm reader #nsft #ftm reader #breaking bad x reader #better call saul x reader #breaking bad smut #better call saul smut

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jounosparticles · 10 months

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So i was scrolling through the character profiles and it's interesting that ranpo's feels so different to others'.His likes and dislikes feels so,,,,vague?like you have to actually look into his character to try to understand it,not saying others' r all very clear,but they all at least have some things or foods or even ppl in the list,you see it n you think oh cool that character likes cookies.

But his doesnt have things so specific?Not even his glasses,snacks,any hobbies,solving mysteries or praises?ig you can count fantastic tales as an interest?still feel a bit vague to me though...

No sure what i trying to get here,but ranpo doesnt have any specific things makes me wonder if he sometimes exaggerate his feelings?not like it's fake we all know he is very blunt

>>>really hesitate about this statement cause not listing in it doesnt mean he cant have specifit likes or dislikes,and he's passionate about ada.maybe im just saying things atp im losing my mind beacuse of the lack of ranpo content

I'm curious what was Asagiri thinking when he made these profiles.I just want to know what his favourite food, place, animal,hobby ect is.Why am i having different thoughts everytime i think about his profile.this is driving me crazy.

Like tf do you mean you don't like common sense and useless knowledge?

Him not liking common sense makes the whole not understanding social cues thing seems more possible ig?Also curious about what kind of knowledge he seem as useless.Maybe he just doesn't like his brain overloaded with informations.

irrelevant but one of tachihara's dislikes is Teruko's craziness,i wonder why did she even do to him lol consider his only other dislike is his past

oooooo i love your thoughts here.

i assume based off the fact that ranpo has claimed to solve thousands upon thousands of cases that it can become a sort of fixation probably? so that when it comes to his likes/dislikes he immediately thinks of what he likes and doesn’t like in cases? since it’s the biggest factor of his life.

i do agree though, i wish we got more information about him! if i recall correctly his page in the bsd art book(?) stated that in his free time he goes to poe’s house, eats candy, then leaves. just some trivia for you :)

the feelings exaggeration could be from a variety of things. i kind of perceived it as a social cues thing, i thought maybe he was acting this way to make his intentions clear (so people don’t read into everything too much), or maybe it’s just who he is. i also could see what you’re saying with the exaggeration though!!

i can somewhat get what he means by common sense though. since a lot of common sense from my own experiences have most definitely not made full sense to me. things like people saying one thing but meaning another, or acting like something is super obvious when it’s not; much of it is just silly social rules that contradict or don’t make sense all based off calling it common sense.

i’d assume his distaste for common sense would stem from the fact that so many people use common sense to just bend the truth. take the time in untold origins where the theatre director said she would look into getting him a job but ranpo knew she wouldn’t do it. common sense would be to tell the kid she will do it to spare his feelings; but he didn’t catch onto that. things like that. at least that’s how i seen it, i’m completely open to other interpretations as well!

the useless knowledge id assume is just because he doesn’t need to hear it all to understand what’s going on. regular people would need a full explanation to the things he can figure out in seconds, and hearing other people state the facts he knows is probably just boring to him lol.

but yeah, i hope we get more ranpo content soon! he’s in my top 5 bsd characters, i love him a ton!

i assume tachihara’s dislike for teruko’s behaviour is just because she can be super loud and childish in the way she acts. remember the scene where fukuchi talked to tachi and teruko hopped on his shoulders angrily asking why he got the attention instead of her? or the other time he was really surprised she got gillette to confess? probably things like that annoy him lol

#sorry for such a long answer! i love ranpo #and sorry for taking a day to respond i read the ask when i was a bit busy but forgot to respond oops #this is cool though!! love talking about ranpo #asks #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd ranpo #ranpo #edogawa ranpo

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fraudulent-cheese · 23 days

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actually I would be interested in your heather/eva thoughts if you wanna share them......

OK. ok im actually on my computer so it's time to attempt to be articulate!!!

So my memory is uh. shit. and i don't remember when i really started thinking about them? I know it was AU related however, since i said so in my reblog of this post but im unsure which one it was??? (like it def wasn't my swap au but i don't think any other ones i had running around my head had them at the time) And it was just a pairing i thought was neato at the time. i was uh, a little more focused on other ones (courtzzy. and alenoah.) + i hadn't looked into Heather's character yet so it got sorta put on the backburner.

I had to dig up rambles i left in discord wayyy back in june to clean em up a little to try and explain what scratches my brain about em!!!

Funnily enough it's got very little with the few canon interactions they have - which mostly consists of Heather stealing Eva's MP3 player then giving them back after the challenge's over, Eva ranting about her dislike of Heather during Haute Campture, and one or two moments where she's just part of a crowd.

The thing that drew me in at first was just how opposite they are:

Like you have manipulative, pushes everyone away, has huge trouble being genuine Heather, and then you have blunt, straight-foward, values honesty Eva. You have Heather who places both alot of importance and feels alot of resentment towards her feminine presentation, while Eva seemingly doesn't care and presents more masculine (for this show at least).

They do have some things in common however; they've got alot of anger in them for one! They're both interested in leadership positions, and both fail to reach them for different reasons. I also headcanon both of them as neurodivergent and neither are super aware of it. They also don't have many friends, but would definitely get attached to the ones they make.

I have the very specific vision of eva being the first girl heather crushes on and her not knowing what those feelings are or how to deal with them and assumes they're fully negative and it must be hate because she's not acting how "a girl should" and she's fine with it so there has to be an issue with it (and it's definitely not because heather's lowkey jealous of Eva's ability to just be herself or to admit to and work on her own flaws without getting shamed for them by the people closest to her, totally not. It's not that eva gets genuine connection that is completely alien to Heather at this point, no)

Meanwhile Eva is not remotely aware of Heather's inner termoil and doesn't like her for her scheming and dishonesty but will admit that she is pretty, even during her bald era. (This would probably fuck with Heather's feelings for the girl even more, because what do you mean the literal manifestation of her insecurities still thinks she's hot like this. That must be a trick of some kind, no one could think she's even remotely beautiful like this and not be lying out of their ass to make fun of her but this is Eva. Straight foward, blunt Eva. Why would she lie?)

Also i genuinely do belive that Eva's female bully label mostly to fully originates from her anger issues and the complete lack of acomodations or therapy for it, most likely worsened by her status as an immigrant (remember the Island bios?) and the bullying she most likely received as a child for it. Guess who was also most likely bullied growing up for not fitting it? Heather.

I've been developping an AU alot that is currently stuck in the interns server/astrokyle's server limbo because there's a couple parts i wanna get out before i start talking about the actual fucking meat and bones of the au but what i can say is that heatheva happends in it and it's been a blast both figuring out what happends and Heather's arc in it as a whole. I have talked about them in the context of a no Total Drama AU before however, so uh. Feel free to read it ig.

I also had an idea for a fic a while back for them and i might write it out eventually, but it's a fic that takes place in the short inbetween period of island and action in which after a conversation during lunch, Heather takes interest in Eva's music player (spoilers: she actually likes the music she's composed). I have no fucking clue when it would be finished tho (reminder that im in medschool and while it's pretty calm now it's not gonna be soon) but yeah!! The girlies, they've been on my mind :)

#Mozzaskrella #tldr: i love them. they are SO messy #td eva #td heather #heatheva #total drama

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suckmybigtoeoikawa · 2 years

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Robaire x reader how they met

yess!!! im also gonna write how he confesses to you ^_^

i imagine you guys meeting at a fancy party

you got dragged along by your friend, you honestly didn’t want to go, but who could pass us the opportunity to get free food

when you guys finally arrive at the fancy dinner (after spending like hours getting ready), your friend lowkey leaves you to go talk to her other friends

you started to follow along but then you just figured what’s the point and moved to the bar

it was pretty chill, you stayed on your phone but you were a little hurt that your friend left you

after a little bit of scrolling though your instagram feed, you hear someone say “excuse me”

“oh yeah my bad” you say and move a little over to give the person more room. they sit down next to you. there’s some more silence but you don’t really mind, you don’t even know this person.

“hey, uhm, what drink is that?” the person asks. you look up at them and you think ‘damn they look familiar’. “it’s presseco” you answer with a smile. “is it good, im not sure what i should get”. “Yeah it’s good, you’d should add some ginerale to it, then it’ll taste much better”, the person smiles back at you and says “thank you”.

now you could’ve sworn you’ve seen him before. it’s eating at you.. where have you seen him.. school? no..instagram.. probably.

the person orders their drink and takes a sip, “oh, i see what you like now”, they says chuckling but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies from the way they said it. “yep, it’s good right?” “yes, i’d try this again”

there’s some more silence, and you’re a bit scared to ask for their name so you just hold off.

“what’s your name?” the person asks. “Oh my name is y/n”. “nice to meet you y/n,” the person puts their hand out for you to grab. you put your hand out and you both shake hands. “my name is Robaire”. “nice to meet you” you smile.

you could’ve sworn he looked a little bit surprised after you said that, you didn’t know why. “so do you come to these events often?” you laugh a bit from how cliche the question is. “no not really, my friend dragged me along, usually at this time i’d be playing a video game or something”. he chuckles a bit, “yeah me too, i came here with some of my friends”. “that’s nice”. there’s some more awkward silence.

“so.. not to sound blunt but why’d you come over the the bar, and not stick with your friends?”. he picks up his drink and takes a sip, “well i got into a little argument with one of my friends, so i’m just cooking off. I think we just needed to calm down, we’re both stressed” he says. You can’t help but realize how collected he sounds, he’s so understanding. “hmm, i see, stressed from work or?” “yeah, work” he says, it sounded like he didn’t want to talk to much about it.

“well.. at least your here with me”, you pick up your drink with a smile and raise for a cheers. he follows suit. “cheers tooo?” you drag out the last word so he can finish the sentence. “to new friends”, he smiles and you guys cheers.

After a few hours of talking to Robaire, you realize more and more how attractive he is, and how cool he is too.

he mentions all the places he’s been to and all the people he’s met

honestly you thought he was a fuckboy

you guys end the night with exchanging numbers and from that day on you guys talked more

you still haven’t brought up where you think you’ve seen him before and honestly you don’t feel like asking either

2 years later

you and him are really good friends now, ans you also know what he does for his job

he’s a famous entertainer

your friend was so mad at you, because you didn’t know who he was when you guys first met

he told you he was scared to bring it up the first few weeks of talking because he didn’t want you to use him

you completely understood and still stuck around (and he fell deeper in love dawg)

one day he invite you out to dinner, it wasn’t anything special but he tells you to wear running shoes.

honestly you got scared

you guys arrived at the dinner spot and everything was chill, it was a dinner spot that he loved to go to and he got really cool with the owners as well so you guys could get a spot away from the public.

the whole dinner was smooth and nothing out of the ordinary. the only think that you noticed was that he was acting a bit weird. like very shy.

a few weeks ago you noticed it, and even when he was around the other 4*town members they would act a little bit suspicious as well. but today. he was acting totally different.

“hey so why did i need to wear specifically running shoes?” you ask. “well we’re gonna go on a walk after dinner” “robaire.. are you planning to kill me”. he laughs and says “no no no, i just gotta show you something”

after you guys finish eating, he looks so eager. so much so that he almost forgets to pay. but as you guys are walking to the spot you notice why he said to bring running shoes. you feet were killing you. it wasn’t even like you were out in the woods or nun. y’all were in the city streets walking, and at the time you don’t know if he did this on purpose trying to get you tired but lord have mercy it was tiring.

you guys end up stopping at some park. you guys find a bench to sit at and he points down to some flower on the ground. “this is what i wanted to show you”. you look at him like he’s crazy. “..t-the flower?”. “yes, i know it may seem weird but listen. what do you think is so different about this flower” “uhm… “, you look around to see if there is anything different. you lowkey irritated, your tired and exhausted and now he got you playing blues clues?. “i don-” your sentence is cut short when he kisses you.

you just look at him. your shocked. “y/n..” “y-yes” “will you date with me?”. you’re shocked completely and confused. but at the same time everything makes sense: why he was acting so weird, why he was being so shy, so fidgety. “yes” you smile.

he kisses you again and he’s saying over and over again “for real?”.

you ask him why he showed you a flower and he tells you about how he wants that flower to represent your guys relationship, he wants it to grow into a beautiful flower

he’s such a romantic lord have mercy

#suckmybigtoeoikawa #headcannons #robaire imagines #robaire hcs #robaire headcannons #4town robaire x reader #robaire x reader #4town robaire #robaire 4town #robaire 4*town #4*town robaire #4town x reader #4town headcanons #4town imagines #robaire fluff

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bubblingstream · 1 year

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been wanting to make another warriors blog for a while but i finally caved after writing up stuff about my new ocs and not knowing where to post it. im just copypasting this directly from an info dump i made so it's not extremely well organised LMAO but here are said OC ideas :]] im probably gonna spend quite a bit of time on this blog just building on them and drawing them tbh. that's the plan anyway

so imagine a cat becomes a medicine cat apprentice, and when they finally go to meet starclan at the moonpool instead of like.. awe, wonder, admiration etc. this idea of all powerful godly ancestors that can apparently predict fate and maybe even control it according to some cats, and watches them constantly.. fucking TERRIFIES this cat. like he is absolutely shitting his pants level afraid and he becomes gradually extremely paranoid about it all. he tries to keep doing the medicine cat stuff but eventually begs his leader to let him just become a warrior to try and get away from it as much as possible. and it helps but not.. a lot? hes still afraid and struggling.

it also turns out he's also had a pretty rough lot in life up til now, which doesnt help bc if these starclan cats control everything why has he suffered so much? what did he do to deserve it? bad things continues to happen and he questions it more and more. he feels like hes watched constantly and even like hes being punished for something he did, even though he doesnt know what his crime actually was. this makes things even worse.

at some point because of all this he runs off maybe? but he misses his family and clan and he also feels watched still no matter where he goes. and maybe something horrible happens to someone he cares for while hes gone and he blames himself for it because he left and thinks starclan decided to hurt his loved ones for it. so he becomes afraid to even leave the clans and doesnt attempt to run away again.

mind you, in the meantime starclan hasnt caused ANY of this. the things that happen are unfortunate coincidences. but he has no idea and after actually seeing what to clan cats basically counts as God Himself™️ hes a wreck. the books always show meeting starclan as a positive experience but i feel like it's something youd need at least some level of willpower for. youd need the right mindset. not just anyone can become a medicine cat and communicate with their ancestors. it's a big deal and some cats ,id think, just wouldnt be able to do it.

hes called whisperingstorm, he has a littermate called bubblingstream. his mother had other litters so he has many siblings but that's the one he knows best and grew up with. he also has an older brother maybe. dovesomething im thinking. bubbling has his own set of issues but im still figuring out how to make that work. another litter in his family is two more kits who are gonna have matching names, this serves to contrast bubbling and whispering who have conflicting names (they have rather different personalities but they also just. dont get along despite bubblings initial efforts to bond with whispering). bubbling as in excitable and upbeat, then when he grew up stream became his suffix bc hes actually rather.. not that basically. yknow how when ppl picture streams they see a calm, gentle stream that some would consider a relaxing visual? like that, as well as their family having a water/weather theme to their names. hes quiet and slow worded, not much to say. compare whispering, something quiet and soft, then when he got older his suffix became storm because of his explosive, high energy and honestly aggressive personality. so not only do they oppose each other in personality, their birth names themselves wouldve better suited them if theyd been swapped around as those are juxtapositions as well. whispering is loud and aggressive, bubbling is quiet and softspoken.

the reason whispering and bubbling dont get along is cause.. well, whispering is a prick, to be blunt. but hes like this as an active attempt to push people away bc of trust issues. he cares a lot about bubbling, he just also thinks anyone being close to him = him inflicting his 'bad luck'/'curse' (see: STARCLAN IS OUT TO GET ME) on others.

eventually it works and bubbling gives up trying to support his brother for his own sake because whispering goes anywhere from mildly mean to downright verbally abusive trying to get bubbling to go away and the guy cant really keep dealing with that. and whispering hates himself for it but he got what he aimed for so.. yeah.

not sure where im going next with this but i want. drama. but not murder. none of them are gonna be murdery. it's a very family issues and trauma and mental health kind of theme i want going on here. yeah someone will probably die bc that's just kinda a given in the clans but not from killing. i can enjoy warriors ocs that go and kill cats for one reason or another but between them and canon i want something different for once, and this is what i want to create to achieve that. plus running off somewhere and coming back to find out, say, a family member died of greencough or something? it's harder to pin a blame on anything material there. as opposed to a cat from a different clan outright killing them in battle or something.

this is where my blog url came from as you can all guess lol. that's all for now while i finalise things like the names of their other siblings, make solidified designs and come up with more stuff.

#my ocs #bubblingstream #whisperingstorm

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seekinginnerwisdom · 5 months

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I am an older female INFP and I first took the test as a teen and have consistently gotten the same results, regardless of website or version of test. And I was always kinda secretly proud to be one because my mom was struggling with my teen sister's bipolar/hormone powered rage and my dad, I think, was one of us too. He was a reserved, weird, sweet, unfocused mess who avoided conflict unless drafted (little war humor, get it from my dad). So I became my mom's confidant which made me feel helpful and special at the time but i now know probably wasnt "healthy".

Fast forward to now and I've earned a number of invisible "survivor of *insert trauma*" medals for myself. And just recently earned myself a small one for "surviving break up with first boyfriend after divorce" Its doesnt have a catchy title and I dont know how I they fit all the words on such a small surface but I'm proud of my small accomplishment. 13 years married, 6 years single, 2.5 years with him...alone again.

Shouldn't I be devastated longer than a week? He did it really poorly, too. Asked for a break a week before which took me by surprise, then 4 days later he told me he loved me and didnt want to break up but still needed time to figure things out, a few days later and its I want to be your friend but nothing more.

It was a back and forth conversation and he's telling me he's not attracted to me anymore and quickly adds "it's not because of the weight" (to clarify I have been struggling with my stomach and have lost 40 lbs which sounds great, unless you weren't overweight before and now I look like a skeleton). When he said that I couldn't help but laugh in that hurt way, where its brevity and pain mixed with a scoff (just me?) And not expecting a reply I rolled my eyes away from him and ask "so it's just me as a person" and there wasnt much hesitation before I hear a soft but steady "yes" behind me. As you can imagine, I didnt respond well to having my entire existence be rejected so i did something he had never seen me do. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my car. Then I tried to go back to work. Yup, he broke up with me in the middle of the work day. I'm sorry this is so long and I even skipped parts.

I left early and took a pill or two more than recommended and just ran away from consciousness as fast as modern medicine could get me there. (I dont post much so I dont know if I need to worry about responses but I took low doses of anti anxiety meds that wouldnt harm me unless i consume the whole bottle. I took 1 mg more than normal. Dont attack me). I got him to be more specific in his choice of break up methods the next week after texting to let him know I wrote a 7 page goodbye letter and how he has come out of this looking like a psychopath.

Is it an INFP thing? When someone hurts me or angers me and I'm trying to speak it's a lot of ums or long pauses. But hand me a pen or a keyboard and fill me will righteous rage...you cant stop me. If I know anything at all about you then you will receive a paragraph like you are reading right now filled with oddly observational criticism, I will hit upon at least one thing your sensitive about and end it all with a guilt trip so strong only the Catholically trained can weather it well.

I think he was afraid of the letter because he had been receiving the texts but not replying. He responded pretty quickly after that. After days of contradicting actions, trains of thought that burst into flames as it derailed and red string theory memes he finally told me that his decision to take a break, reassure me and then dump me in such an abrupt manner on a workday, twice btw, was because he really hadn't thought about it...

Now this is going to sound strange but I am so glad my exhusband had been abusive because it taught me control. Otherwise I would have hit him. Who does that?! Im 99% sure he wasnt lying because he's a blunt INTJ and he explained his incomprehensible thought process earlier and I've had previous experience with his type of obliviousness. He really didnt mean to hurt me, he doesnt have any social circle to speak of so when planned this whole thing his feedback was a crowd of 1.

But I saved the best for last. He appears to genuinely like me and really doesnt want to lose me. He wants to be friends...and my dumb ass said yes. With a caveat that the second he starts dating I'm out. I dont do lover to friends. I'm possessive and wont share. So as long as he stays single I'll be his friend. I know I'm dumb. I know I'm just going to be hurt by another display of thoughtlessness from him. But except for the week of hell I've been truly happy with him until I got sick. He's a jerk. I deserve better. But did you know, that INFP can be shallow too. I didnt until i met him. He is so pretty (in my eyes, he is definitely not to everyone's taste) and 7 years younger and he picked me 2.5 years ago. I am not pretty. Hard marriage, lifetime of depression, rather read another chapter than apply a layer of makeup, etc. but he eavesdrop me talking to my work friend and liked what he heard and asked me out.

God I'm dumb. Wow. I'm so sorry. It just happened today and I needed to let it out and when it started I tried another forum to get perspective from similar wired people as my boyfriend so I could do whatever was best for him and some responses were productive and informative if a tad blunt. One or two tried with all their might to be kind and I love them for that. The rest can burn in hell. I know I'm what people consider an "unhealthy" version of my type but I've just been considering myself a survival INFP. I think we all get broken a lot thanks to our inner compass. And when we build ourselves back up again our structure gains or loses new aspects. My corners are sharper, and someone broke my glasses so things arent clear all the time and when my belief in human goodness broke off I wasnt able to find all the pieces but it's still there. I'm still here. And now I will shut up. Sorry again. Still gonna post it though! :p

#breakup #infp thoughts #infp #vent post

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moonlight-fan2008 · 5 months

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Moonlight rewatch for millionth time

Episode 7 random thoughts and feelings I had while rewatching again: cause I’m bored and have nothing else to do or watch. And I love this show

And Steve is gone again

More tidbits of Mick’s human life; I take it he was an only child since he said my parents would take me here (Franklin hotel) for bunch after church on Sundays and not my brother/sister/siblings and I

Flashback also reveals he musical abilities playing guitar and being the lead singer of a band

It’s very interesting how the mind screws with you when it comes to trauma. Coraline kidnapped and terrorized Beth as a child and she doesn’t remember Coraline at all when she meets her as Morgan and doesn’t really have any hostile feelings towards her until she knows she’s is Coraline. However Beth instantly knew Mick upon seeing him again as an adult.

“Was she dead?” Love how blunt Josef is

“Beth doesn’t remember me from back then and I’m the one who rescued her.” She technically remembers you but (and I still love him) you kind of gaslighted her when it came to that

Josef was four in 1603 making his birth year 1599

I like how comfortable Beth is with Mick and just like walks into his office

I’ve only now realized the flashback at Coraline’s home is mainly in black in white and only a few characters are shown in color and are primarily those wearing red. Ex: Coraline in her red dress, Mick and his band mates with their matching red Hawaiian shirt with the white hibiscus flowers, the fire from the tiki torches, etc

“I have a 50’s thing I’m trying to shake” very on the nose Coraline

According to WIKI: “Remembrance of Things Past, and sometimes referred to in French as La Recherche (The Search), is a novel in seven volumes by French author Marcel Proust. This early 20th-century work is his most prominent, known both for its length and its theme of involuntary memory. The most famous example of this is the "episode of the madeleine", which occurs early in the first volume.”

I like how Mick and Beth are bouncing ideas off each other and Coraline is just there like 👁️👄👁️ you weren’t supposed to figure this out so quickly or together

“Coraline did not come back from the dead to exact revenge on you” oh Josef how wrong you were

“You need to let her go” immediately followed up by Mick in fact not letting her go

Idk why but I always thought she was putting her hand on his knee but she’s actually grabbing his hand/wrist

“You’re jealous” Mick smiling ☺️

“Don’t touch anything” proceeds to touch things

Is the ice breath thing a thing Mick has or do you think other vamps can do it too?

I know Coraline is partly manipulative because she grew up and lived during times where woman were not treated fairly or had basic rights and I have a semi head-canon she may have been pressured by her brothers or at least Lance to be a courtesan but like you’d think she’d try and not play mind games with people after a certain point. Im sure Mick’s not the first one to try and break things off with her because they’re tired of her shit

I feel like Cynthia was probably the one who Beth was talking to when she was talking to “Morgan’s” family

“Next time I’ll find a Beverly Hills thief” Mick is sassy and Josef’s little “thanks” back

“You got your cameras back this case is over” Josef was saying that to Morgan but is looking at Mick

Is Mick taking a picture here? Or is he just randomly shining a light on his hand? He sits down grabs something from the table, the light flashes off then he sets something in his lap

I know Josef is not interested in going back to the human world but I wonder if there’s anything that is solely made for humans (ie tanning bed) or modern day food he’d like to try

This is supposed to be Hank right? That’s what I always thought

For someone with super senses and reflexes Mick sure does get his butt kicked a lot

Another flashback that’s in black and white save for candles burning

“Were you disappointed?” And Mick stays silent but that says more than words

Again I like that they don’t drag out certain plot points like Morgan and Coraline are the same person.

#moonlight cbs #mick st. john #alex o'loughlin #cbs moonlight #moonlight tv #moonlight #beth turner #sophia myles #mick st john #tv show #season 1 episode 7 the ringer #coraline duval

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kdipshit · 1 year

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Balance

Im Finna go get that bag yuuuhhhhhh, so I got my job back holy shit who else is surprised?? Me lol, they said no stuff ups aloud lol, attendance has to be onnnn, its gonna be super easy though because I’m working with my mum who’s got make sure we get to work on time everyday lol, we get along so much better these days so its going to be FUN I loveeeee it already. Not gonna lie the anxiety and all the thoughts that I had when I first left a month ago, and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to show attendance… but like I’ve been doing, I’ve been showing up for MYSELF every single day, why not this swell? Literally why not? I have my goals in my mind, and I probably won’t even work here that long before I can sit comfortably on journalism and my path going this way. Its just that when I started thinking about it I started to feel it, and it wasn’t a good feeling, but now that we know feelings come from thoughts, and we can choose our thoughts, its become a lot easier to adjust to the perspective. I choose the most positive one every time, its a choice, if I did nothing I would go no where, but stay in my thought trapped brain, instead of living in my beautiful life. I choose to live every time.

I feel much better now that I’ve taken my morning meds lol, thank you for all the problems I didn’t have to face. There Is a version of myself in my head that I haven’t heard for a while, I’m very loud but blunt, cut throat and quick. Very much wanting to come forward, I’m trying to keep positive though.

The sweetness of doing nothing.

When I’m triggered and it turns to irritation and anger, it’s like I’m pacing back and forth in my head wondering why someone would do this harm to me, immediate victim complex. I feel stuck still, unable to move, usually scrolling vigorously is the only thing that can keep me calm and level headed, so I just did that but it’s so irritating holy fuck. I just don’t like being yelled at and i can just see a system going on like my dad yelled at me coz he thought I didn’t do something because when he walked in my mum was doing it AGAIN, and I was like no I did it lol, and then I still get screamed at and made feel like shit and it’s not like my mum would be on my side and say ‘no I’m just doing it again because we’re about to have visitors’ and she’s crazy fkn ODC but whatever. It’s my fault, and now I leave everything for my mum to just do herself apparently, walking around saying ‘ugh I’ll just do it myself’ like what do you mean I’ve been doing the house all morning the house was not a mess when you walked in, you didn’t complain about a messy house you just did what you always do and clean bc your anxious. I’m on the verge of tears bc of this shit holy fuck man, I’ve got a whole ass frog in my throat over some silly ass trigger, it’s so stupid. The feeling I feel when I’m getting attacked by my parents is ummmm….. I don’t know. Lol. It’s like I’m 16 again with no rights lol. I know it’s something so small, but it effects me, but because it effects only me, I should only really be dealing with these issues by myself, so I never let it out towards them and I keep it chill on the outside, but that causes me to freeze. So now I need to figure out a way to deal with it without taking it out on myself and feeling the guilt and anxiety to an extreme, I guess the answer is to write ✍️ I guess the answer for everything lately has been to write, my mum is hoping that by me expressing my feelings and shit thru a blog might help someone else who is feeling so much alone.

I’m happy now, I have a full vape, a clean 50, and WORK tomorrow! I’m grateful I have been more open to phone calls, because that is what I can thank myself for being able to go to work tomorrow, I’m really excited, a lil anxious, maybe it’s just excitement, I’m ready, and I’m so excited for the other things this job is going to give me. As well as coming to the full acceptance of me being single for maybe the rest of my life, I’m excited to see my life in my career, in my study in my work. I’ve been love lead for my entire life, but my version of love is unobtainable, instead I can find ways to give it to myself, since I have the power of the source. I’m ready to get rich, or die trying.

i was so excited… coming back into the music world, to start writing again producing just fan having that feeling of making amazing shit that you really love like, I love that sahit, when I came to the not pad however my rhymes were so whack literally like I was blank. I just gotta keep that ball rolling coz this verse I’m tweaking now is fun good shit cuz, its diff weirdly, and thats all goods coz it sounds gangsta, and I love it.

The version of myself I want to step into, has her routine and positive attitude and goals and is sorted absolutely content and happy with the over flowing of money in my bank account, good coping mechanism and the space to relax and appreciate every single moment and what it ultimately brings me (my manifestations) I am it already, the independence , the growth, the knowledge.

I need balance other wise I get burnt out. By healing I’m hoping to get better and better every day, and I know there’s milestones in healing and those are what I’m trying to accomplish so I can live my most free life. Focus on the journey… not the outcome, okay, so that’s what I’m trying to do right now…… focus on the journey, not the outcome, have faith that the outcome will be the best outcome possible for my journey and I let it go into the universe, while I focus on the journey.

Do I just have to not scratch that itch to check if my ex messaged me? Is that literally all I need to do? Okay I guess :)

I have come to realise I need to balance my material and emotional lives, I’m unhinged, lol, I don’t think I actually am I just felt like that was the right word, so maybe I am right.

I sometimes think if someone else can’t do it for me, I can’t do it for myself either, is that a self worth issue? Or am I scared of being judged for doing something first? That way of thinking wastes so many opportunities and ways of life.

#blogging #new blog #mental health #actually bipolar #actually borderline #mental instability #actually bpd #original post #original writing #original words #bipolar

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gegewrites · 3 years

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Fezco - Spoiled Brat(smut)

smut :)

i hate how you tell when i changed writing platforms

published- 1-27-22

words- 2471

edited- nah l8r

content warning- smut and a princess complex reader

based off a post where someone said they wanted to see Fez with a princess complex girlfriend, hope i did it justice.This s all in Fezcos pov btw

Fezcos pov-

"Please?" She looked at me with those needy ass eyes,"come on." "(y/n)." I said looking at the dress on the manikin. "Fezzy." She hugged my arm and I slowly blinked,"I really want it." "I'm not your sugar daddy." I said with a laugh. "But you're my daddy." She whispered into my ear," Im gonna try it on and change your mind." She pulled me into the store. She insisted we go to the mall today, I wouldn't say no, I mean Ash wanted to get new sneakers, I needed some shirts and pants so I mean why not

After 20 minutes I was now sitting on a couch in a changing room waiting for (y/n) to come out in the dress and other ones she looked at. I had my bag between my feet, and her purse right next to me, not like she needed it, I was paying for everything. "Ready?" She asked. "Always." I answered as the door opened. It was pink...and short, with hip cut outs. She walked in front the mirror and the thing had barely any back, it showed everything but her ass. "(y/n), that is lingerie." I said and ahe turned around, her hands in her hips. "It's a dress." "It's lingerie, I'm not lettin you wear that outta the house." She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her boobs up, she had a pout on her lips,"don do that." "Please?" She leaned forward, it was getting hard to say no at this point. What the Fuck am I saying, it's always hard to say no to her,"fez, please." "Fine." I gave up,"I'll buy it for you." "Thank you!" She hugged me, kissing my cheek. She was a Fuckin princess, a spoiled brat but...Fuck, she rolled picture perfect blunts and worked the game so I guess it cancels it out.

We left the shop after an hour, I was now holding the two bags of clothes she had, along with my 1 bag, I got some clothes at polo. "Thank you." She kissed my cheek. "Welcome." I saw ash walking towards us, two bags in his hands. "You still bein her bitch?" He asked. "Come on, gotta go open the shop for the next few hours."

The good thing about (y/n) was that even with her little Princess complex and her need to be spoiled from her very obvious lack of a father figure, she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. I'm not talking dirt, no she'd break her nail and I'd have to go take her to the salon to get it fixed, no I'm talking blood, she was there when Ash went killer on mouse and helped us clean it up. She helped us flush all the pills during the raid, oh and most importantly, she helps me with Gran. so yes ,I'll buy her that dress, those heels, that oddly expensive lipstick or highlighter.

(y/n) was sitting on the counter, a compact mirror in one hand and the other had lipgloss. She keeps a compact mirror and some emergency makeup at the counter. Did I like it? I mean it took up some space but it wasn't bad. But was it cute watching her touch up her lipgloss for 15 minutes? In a sense yes. "Perfect." She smiled, closing the compact and gloss she put it on the counter with the rest of her little things. She was currently in a little white flowy crop top, some tight ripped jeans that hugged her in all the right places, and some pink heels. "Lookin good like always baby." I said, I looked into the cooler from where I was and saw ash shaking his head at me. Ash liked (y/n) and he was happy I had her but she did annoy him with her Princess act. I understand that, it did get annoying some times, but she knew when she took it too far...well after the fact.

I was sitting at the table in the lounge, sorting some stuff, coke, pills, weed, all the stuff that we usually sell out over the week and that's most commonly bought. I felt to arm wrapped over my shoulders and a pair of lips kiss my neck. "Daaady." She whispered into my ear, I ignored her and continued sorting,"daddy." "Hmm?" I hummed not stopping what I was doing. As I sealed a baggie I felt her nails run down my bare shoulders and onto my sides I was shirtless right now ,"(y/n) I gotta work." "Come on." She pouted, her voice Whiney. "Later." "But I want you now Fez!" Her voice needy and absolutely pathetic. "Later (y/n), I gotta get these done." I wasn't really in the mood right now, I had to get these packed, ash was asleep, it's late, about 1 in the morning. "Fez. Come on, please please pleeeease!" "Jesus (y/n)! Get outta of my fuckin face im tryin to work!" I yelled and she un attached herself from me. "Sorry." Her voice was nothing but a small squeak compared to it before,"sorry." I put my head in my hands as I heard the couch squeak as she sat down. I sat there for a few seconds composing myself of the bust of anger. I stood up from the chair and walked over to the couch from behind leaning over it. "M' sorry." I kissed her cheek then her temple,"it's late, we should get to bed." "Sorry." She whispered,"In shouldn't bother you while you're working." "Nah Baby, M' Just tired." I kissed the top of her head,"come on."' she got off of the couch and came around right to me and I pulled her into a hug before picking her up getting away giggle from her. She placed a kiss on my lips as I walked out of the lounge and down the hall. She put her head into the crook of my neck and left some small kisses. My hand was on her ass, she was in my multi colored polo and lace panties.

When we got into our bedroom I closed the door behind us with my foot. I laid her down on the bed gently and she brought me into a kiss, her nails scratching the back of my head lightly. "You lucky you cute." I muttered into her lips before kissing down her jaw, I grabbed into the bottom of my shirt she was wearing, she sat up and I took it off of her and tossed it. I kissed his collar bones, my hands grabbing onto her waist and hips as my lips trailed down her warm skin. "Daddy." She whispered, I looked up at her through my lashes and saw her face tinged a slight pink. "What Princess?" I kisses in between her boobs my hand trailing Ik and taking on of them in my hands," words pretty girl." She stayed silent but opened her mouth to talk before biting her lip and a slightly whimper left her lips when my thumb circled her nipple. "Wan' my lips here?" I kissed her other boob, she hummed in agreement, and I kissed down her ribs onto her stomach,"here?" She shook her head and I kissed further down as I kept massaging her book in my hand. I kissed both of her hips,"here?" "Close." She giggled. "Wan me..." I kissed down her lace panties right over her clit,"here?" "Right there please." "Such good manners." I hooked both of my hand into her panties and pulled them down my legs as I got down on my knees. I kissed yo her leg to her thigh where I quickly nipped it before licking over her slicked lips. I wasted no time dipping my tongue to her clit, I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to me, her legs going over my shoulders. "Oh god Yes." She sighed, I lightly sucked her clit gradually getting harder,"fuu-" I moved my had to cover her mouth from the loud moan, ash is on the other side of our wall, I ain't wakin him up. "Keep quiet." I said to her as I started sucking and licking her clit harshly, her thighs tightened around my head and her nails scrapped my scalp. "Mmm!" She moaned into my palm. I could feelmjer getting wetter on my my chin so my dived my tongue into where she wanted it most and she rashes her back up and help my hand to her lips. "Good girl." I praised as I licked back and forth from her clit to her core, I could feel her chest rising and falling fast, the heel of her for digging into my shoulder, she was close. I pulled my hand away from her mouth and slid my middle and index into her soaked core. "Fez!" She moaned, my fingered curled up in her I pumped them, her eyes clamped right and her hand now gripping at the blankets, "daddy daddy daddy! Just like that!" "Ya? feel good? I kissed her stomach,"this what you want?" "Mmhm!" I sucker her clit as my fingers pumped in and out of her dripping core. kissed up her stomach bringing myself to stand. i bit and sucked around her collar bones and chest, her chest rising and falling quickly as pleasure took her over.

“gon’ cum baby?” i asked as i kissed her neck.

“yes please plea-se!” i kissed her jaw, i curled my fingers a little bit more and pumped faster,”just like that!”

“you need to quiet down Princess.” i chcukled and kissed her forehead, her back arched, pushing her chest into mine,” come on, cum for me. show me how fuckin needy you are.”

(y/n) was...a bitch. not in the bad way, she broke her nail once and came into the shop nearly in tears.

“i broke a nail.” she held her hand out for me to take, and in fact she did, her index nail much shorter then her other pink bedazzled stilettos.

“its okay.” i kissed her knuckles.

“no its not fez! my set is ruined!” she had a little stomp with her last words, her heel clicking on the tiles.

“no its not.” maybe i wasnt understand completely how important this was.

“this is like a blunt breaking in your pocket fez! a dime bag ripping open in your wallet! a hole in a condom!”

“not a problem for us.” i couldnt stop the smile showing up on my face/

“this is not okay Fez!” this finally ripped a laugh from me,” this isnt funny!”

“it really is princess.” i smiled.

“i hate you.” she turned around, her arms crossing.

“go get a new set.” i reached into my back pocket grabbing my wallet, she turned around, i grabbed out a 100 and a 50 and handed it to her,”ill see you later.”

“really? Thanks!’ she took the money and hugged me, placing a kiss onto my cheek and neck before she walked away.

“that was the softest shit ive ever seen, i dont want to turn out like you.” i heard ash say from the door to the back.

“get in yo freezer.”

i ran my hand down (y/ns) back as i positioned the head of my cock at her dripping warm core.

“ready?” i asked running my hand up and down her thigh, her face was down in the blankets and her ass in the air.

“come on.” she said impatiently as i ran the head over her clit and slicked folds

“is that how you talk to me?” i asked.

“please daddy, im ready.” she fixed her tone.

‘thats better.” i slid my tip in before ramming into her, ripping a loud moan from her throat, her hands grabbing onto the comforter.

“oh goooood!” she moaned into the fabric as i bottomed out.

“feel so good princess.” i kissed in between her shoulder blades,” always so good for me.” my finger tips dug into her thighs as i pulled out of her, leaving in the tip and ramming back in.

“daddy! fuuck!” she cried.

“you need to shut up, you wake up ash you explainin’ why.” i slapped her thigh, the whack ringing in the room, i ran my palm over it to soothe it as i started to slowly thrust in and out of her, puling out and going back in. i sped up slightly, groans escaping my lips and muffled moans from her. my head fell back, i could feel the coldness of my chains on my chest compared to the warmth of her walls tight around my cock.

“oh shit.” i heard her breath out, i looked down at her and gave her ass a hard smack, ash is a heavy ass sleeper, he aint gon hear shit i just like giving (y/n) a hard time. i grabbed onto her waist pulling out of her completely before slamming back into her.

“god fuck.” i moaned as i slammed back into her again speeding up, my hand slid down her back to the small of her back using that to help me keep this bruisng pace she loved so much.

“just like that!” she moaned, her tone dripping with ecstacy much like how her pussy was dripping with her cum right now,”oh fuck im gonna cum!’

“no you aint.” i pulled out of her, i flipped her over onto her back ,pulling her closer to me by her thighs and slamming right back into her. her hands grabbed onto my shoulders, her naisl diggin into my skin.

“fuck fuck fuck!” i planted a hand down by her head as she held onto me.

“like that?’ i groaned into her ear and she nodded, i kissed her neck as i thrusted up into her.

the room was filled with the sound of her moans, my groans, slapping of skin welcomed by the smell of sex and the lingering smell of weed.

“you a spiled brat.” i whsipered into her ear as her nails raked up my back.

“im gon-na cum daddy, come on pl-please.”

“wait for me baby, im almost there.’ i felt her tightening around me, whimpering moans and shuddered breaths left her mouth. my breath hitting her neck as i nipped o her skin, groaning from the pleasure building in me,”you gon be good if you cum?”

“of cpurse daddy! come on!” she moaned, i felt my high tracking into my muscles.

“come on princess, cum wit’ me.” i kissed her collarbones, as her walls fluttered around my cock. my muscles tightened as i kept trhusting into her. i shot my cum deep inside of her pussy as she moaned my name and how good it was. i slowly started to slow down, keeping her close to me.

“fez.” she breathed out as i stopped moving, my thighs were wet from her orgasm so were the blankets. out bodys slicked with sweat.

“that what you wanted?’ I asked pulling out of her but staying above her.

“mmhm” she gave me a weak smile, her eyes opening and looking at mine blown with lust.

“you spoiled.”

#fezco fanfic #fez smut #fezco x reader #fezco euphoria #fezco smut #euphoria smut #euphoria #smut fic #fezco #angus cloud #Gegewrites

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catastrophe-at-sixteen · 3 years

Text

strawberries and cigarettes (m)

Jungkook x reader

“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”

Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?

This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!

Jungkook x reader.

This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!

This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3

Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.

WC : 11K

also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !

Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.

Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.

When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.

You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.

As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.

Angrily you shout

"Watch where you're going you prick"!

Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.

Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.

Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.

Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.

The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.

You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.

You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.

You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.

" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "

You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.

He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.

You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.

You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.

It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.

You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.

You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.

When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.

“While you're at it could you make one for me too".

a deep voice drawls out.

You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.

You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.

He whistles under his breath.

“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".

He taunts you.

You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.

“you’re clearly not a morning person".

He speaks.

You mutter under your breath.

" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "

He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.

“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".

He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.

They’re so gorgeous.

Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.

“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".

You say between clenched teeth.

You’re not some sort of pushover.

Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.

If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.

You sigh.

This was going to be a long trip.

After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.

It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.

You could never fit in.

So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.

There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.

Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.

You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.

You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.

You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.

So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.

You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.

You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.

You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.

It’s nice.

When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.

“Wow" you mutter under your breath.

Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.

You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.

Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.

You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.

“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “

A boy called Josh calls out.

The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.

The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.

Everyone gathers, watching the officers.

You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.

Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.

So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.

You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.

Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.

You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.

Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?

Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.

You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.

Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.

oh, this feels nice.

you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.

what's happening?

Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?

Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.

You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.

Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.

“Jeon Jungkook? “

You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.

“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.

His eyebrows knot together in confusion.

“What are you talking about strawberry?”

You gasp.

"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “

Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.

“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “

His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.

“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.

You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.

Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.

When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.

‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.

What even happened? you wonder in your head.

You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs. You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.

‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’

You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.

‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘

You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.

‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.

‘your one and only’

You frown.

‘mine?’

He smirks at you,

‘that's right yours strawberry’.

You shake your head.

‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’

He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.

‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.

You scoff.

‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.

Then it all comes back to you.

Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.

‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘

He chuckles.

'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.

You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

You scoff and push him away.

‘You're insane’.

He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.

‘And you're crazy for me’.

You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.

‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.

He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.

‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.

You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.

‘This is your room now’.

You whip around to face him.

‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.

He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.

‘Protection?’

You set him a hard stare.

‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.

Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.

He shrugs.

‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’

You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.

This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.

You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.

‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.

You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.

You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.

You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.

Tiffany Jessica and Irene.

They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.

You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.

But to your disappointment they begin to talk.

‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.

You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.

She becomes enraged at your actions.

‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.

You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.

‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’

She grows red at your words.

‘you little piece of shit-’

She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.

‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.

Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.

Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.

‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.

He still doesn’t entertain her.

He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.

‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.

He responds to this under his breath laughing.

‘reminds me of someone ’

She doesn't understand his comment.

‘huh?’ she says almost comically.

‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’

‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.

It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.

‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.

You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.

‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.

He smirks at you.

‘no no - I insist’.

He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.

‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.

He turns around to face you.

‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.

He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.

‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.

‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.

An exasperated noise escapes your throat.

‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.

He sets you with a hard stare.

‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.

You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.

‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’

You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.

You seriously had hit a nerve.

‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.

You spit back in his face.

‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.

You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.

He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.

‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.

When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened. You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.

This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.

They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.

Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do. You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.

You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.

You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.

‘what the hell man’

He stares at you blankly.

‘There's your work priss’

You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.

‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’

He looks up at you annoyed.

‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’

You scowl at him.

‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.

You make an exasperated sigh.

‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.

‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.

‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.

You sigh,

You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!

It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.

You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.

You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.

You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone. You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.

This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.

Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.

Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?

No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?

Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.

'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.

He can totally use this to his advantage.

He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.

Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.

‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.

‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.

You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.

Why is it always him?

‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.

He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.

He cocks his head to the side.

‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.

‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.

You look at him.

You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.

‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.

He shrugs.

‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.

You scoff;

‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’

He frowns but then asks you again.

‘what are you doing here?’

You think of excuses,

‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.

He lifts his eyebrow up.

‘a walk?’

You nod.

‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.

He snorts.

‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’

You curse inside your head.

‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.

He doesn’t

‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.

You rack your brains for an answer.

‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.

‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.

‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.

‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.

‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.

He takes one step closer to you.

‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours

You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.

‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.

He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.

‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.

But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.

‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.

You huff.

‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.

He scowls at you.

‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.

‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.

‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.

You set him a level stare.

‘what?’

‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.

‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.

He shakes his head.

‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.

You narrow your eyes at him.

‘You wouldn’t dare’.

He holds a staring contest with you.

‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.

You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.

You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.

‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.

He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.

‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.

You glare at him.

‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘

He rolls his eyes.

‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.

You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.

You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.

‘why are you following me?’ you ask him.

He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.

‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.

You freeze up for a second,

Shit

You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.

‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.

‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’

He shrugs.

‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’

You stare at him.

‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.

He laughs.

‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.

So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.

With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.

He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.

You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.

You cock your head to the side.

‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.

He says something inaudible under his breath.

‘what was that?’

He snaps at you.

‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’

You huff in annoyance.

How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.

It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.

But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.

You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!

You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.

You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.

As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.

‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.

You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.

You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.

It's in Morse code.

-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .

(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)

You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.

You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.

You let out a scream.

A hand is placed over your mouth.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’.

You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,

‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.

He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.

‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.

He holds it in the air holding your gaze.

‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?

You yank your hand from his grasp.

He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.

“you’re a fucking liar “he says.

You scoff.

“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “

He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.

He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.

But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble

“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “

He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.

“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.

You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.

He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you

“fucking hell where did she go?”

He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.

He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.

He narrows his eyes at you again.

“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “

He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.

He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.

That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.

You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.

You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.

Park Jimin.

You approach him cautiously.

“Officer park?”

He turns around to face you, smiling softly.

Oh, he’s cute you think.

“yes miss?”

You smile at him warmly.

“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “

You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.

“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.

As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.

He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.

When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.

You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.

Jungkook speaks up.

“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “

He says,

You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.

“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”

He rolls his eyes

“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off

“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.

Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.

“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.

He narrows his eyes

“I know it”

You look at him

“you do?”

He nods,

“why need something translating?” he tries.

You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.

You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.

You shake your head,

“No, I don’t “

You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.

The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!

‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.

‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.

He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.

‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’

You look at him in shock

‘but why!?’

He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.

You sigh.

Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.

Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.

You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.

It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.

He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.

Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)

Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.

It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.

You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.

Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.

But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?

You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.

Like tonight.

You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.

Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.

You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.

You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.

Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.

You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.

Why did you have to room with him?

You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.

You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.

You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.

You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.

How had Taehyung done it?

Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.

You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.

Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.

Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log. After a moment you continue to tease yourself.

Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.

You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.

Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.

You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.

When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.

You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.

A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.

What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.

You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.

You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.

Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.

The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.

You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.

Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.

Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.

After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.

You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.

Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?

After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.

What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.

Turning him on, making him needy.

He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.

After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.

It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.

You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.

A very naked Jungkook.

Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.

Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.

He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.

He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.

How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.

You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.

You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.

“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.

It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.

Still, you feign your ever composed self.

“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.

“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.

He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.

“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.

You blush, shit had he heard you?

“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.

You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.

Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.

“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.

You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.

Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.

'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.

‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.

‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.

You look at him.

‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.

He lets out an exasperated gasp.

‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?

He looks at you.

‘So, you did’.

‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.

He laughs at you

‘Hmm is that so?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.

He looks at you, more serious this time.

“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.

You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.

“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.

He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.

“I suggest you stop lying”.

You scoff.

“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.

Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.

“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.

You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.

“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.

You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,

“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.

You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.

“I don’t know what you're talking about”.

‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.

‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’

He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.

‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.

You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.

‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’

His eyes flash with hurt

‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’

You laugh an empty laugh at his face.

‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.

He groans in frustration at your words then.

Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?

You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.

Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.

You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.

“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.

You still try and keep up your act,

“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out

He growls, yes, he growls.

“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.

“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.

He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.

He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.

His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.

When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.

“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.

He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.

“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.

He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,

“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.

Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.

He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.

You both freeze

“y/n?” A voice calls out.

You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.

“Yes?”

“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.

Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.

“You fucking nerd”.

He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.

“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.

“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.

He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.

You pull away again.

uh what in the fuck just happened you think.

This was not meant to happen.

“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"

He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.

You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.

He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.

He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.

He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.

You take a breath as you exit the room,

What in the fuck just happened? you think.

Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind. Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?

"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"

Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!

Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.

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