#and it didn't even work

[anbessette]

You've heard of There Was Only One Bed, now get ready for: There Were Only Two Beds!

3zun stop at an inn for the night after a night hunt. There's one room available, but it only has two beds. (And, to avoid the easy solution, the room is too small and cramped for anyone to sleep on the floor. Jin Guangyao could maybe fit in the gap between the beds but it would be hell on his old injuries and the other two know it.) Who shares with whom? Who sleeps alone? How do they decide?

Some possibilities I considered while trying to fall asleep:

NMJ and LXC share, JGY sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because he doesn’t trust JGY. He doesn’t say it in so many words, but JGY knows 😢

——LXC suggested it because he’s worried about JGY’s reputation. No-one would dare make an issue of Zewu-jun and Chifeng-zun sharing a bed, but being caught in bed with either of his sworn brothers could ruin JGY.

——JGY suggested it because his sworn brothers are pure and righteous and he is the son of a prostitute. Obviously they wouldn’t want to dirty themselves being so close to him if there's another option. He'll be the one to make the suggestion so he doesn’t have to hear either of them say it out loud.

NMJ and JGY share, LXC sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because he saw the look on JGY’s face and had to make sure JGY knows that NMJ doesn’t think he’s dirty.

——LXC suggested it because of his ongoing quest to matchmake Nieyao into reconciling. He's sure that a little forced intimacy can only improve their relationship!

——JGY suggested it because he wants to show er-ge that he is trying to fix things and it’s da-ge who’s being unreasonable. He assumed NMJ would refuse and earn himself a disapproving look from LXC. He has no idea what to do with himself when NMJ just goes “Yeah, OK” and gets into bed with him.

LXC and JGY share, NMJ sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because LXC and JGY are both smaller than he is and will fit more comfortably in one of these cramped little beds. He has no feelings whatsoever about the prospect of sharing a bed with either of them, it's just practical.

——LXC suggested it because he assumes NMJ would refuse to consider sharing with JGY and he doesn’t want a fight.

——JGY suggested it because he’s scared of NMJ. He doesn’t say it in so many words, but NMJ knows 😢

Someone figures that opportunities like this don’t come along every day and volunteers to share with whoever he thinks he has the most sexual/romantic tension with. It might be his only chance to share his beloved’s bed! Unfortunately, it’s not as romantic or as sexy as he hoped, not least because he can’t stop thinking about the other guy just a couple of feet away...

Someone doesn’t want this to be weird and volunteers to share with whoever he thinks he has the least sexual/romantic tension with. Turns out he’s mistaken about that. By the end of the night he has to confront the realisation that he’s in love with both of his sworn brothers.

Someone wants to share because he’s noticed there’s a ton of sexual/romantic tension between the other two. They’re not gonna be consummating that shit tonight if he has anything to say about it! He’s so busy worrying about his sworn brothers getting together and leaving him behind that he doesn’t notice the “😍Of course I’ll sleep with you!” and “😏You two have fun” reactions.

Someone volunteers to sleep alone because he’s noticed there’s a ton of sexual/romantic tension between the other two and he is nobly stepping aside. He won’t stand in the way of true love. The other two are like “Why’s he so eager to sleep alone? Doesn’t he love us?🥺”

Two people offer to share because they’ve done it before and it wasn’t a big deal (Nielan when they were kids, Xiyao when they were on the run, or Nieyao when they were in the army). The other person spends the whole night tormented by sexy, sexy visions of what might have happened between his sworn brothers on the multiple(!) nights they’ve spent in bed together.

The person who’s sleeping alone is jealous and horny and agonising over all the sex he might be missing out on right now.

The person who’s sleeping alone can hear the other two breathing, and he knows they’re fast asleep. He’s cold and lonely and tormented by soft, cosy visions of all the cuddles he’s definitely missing out on right now.

Somehow, they make it through the night.

The next time they have to spend the night at an inn together, the proprietor says “We have two rooms available. One has two beds, and the other has one bed.” 3zun, remembering this night, say “We’ll take the room with one bed.” “No, that’s not … You don’t have to choose between them. You can take both rooms.” “WE. WILL. TAKE. THE ROOM. WITH ONE BED.”

[beachboysnatural]

When even your mom who abandoned you and put her partner of 25 years into a coma like a week ago is calling your morals into question maybe it is time to do some self reflecting instead of threatening the woman you "love" into becoming your wife

[spooky-something]

Pulled an all nighter yesterday in attempt to fix our sleep schedule. Fucking explain to me how the fuck Victor Frankenstein managed to do this shit for MONTHS on end.

[lesbiancharliedalton]

this literally happened the very first time a man ever put his penis inside of me.

[iheartallthethings]

If you're a big dude who wears a size XXXL or smaller and are willing to splurge, @biglawbear, I can point you towards the most beautiful and colorful fully professional men's shirts I have ever seen in my life. Just RB or send me an ask or something.

still so fucking weird to go from real life, where a cis man being flamboyant/effeminate/camp is judged like 70+% by how he speaks and carries himself, to online queer communities, which often seem to have no concept of male gender non-conformity that doesn’t involve wearing a skirt

[rioblitzle]

working retail

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[inkpotsprite]

This was after he blew up all of the Leagues tech.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[technically-human]

Everyone at G.U.N. is freaking out because Stone suddenly vanished.

[hinamie]

03/20

hbd itadori yuuji the mc of all time!!!!!!

[mollysunder]

What I liked best about Jinx and Sevika's first post-Silco talk was how well it implies why their grief is so pronounced. Every complaint the two lodged at Silco was an admission at how dependent Silco had become on them, how much he LET himself be dependent. Silco didn't NEED to let Jinx give him his eye medicine, he was perfectly capable of doing so in season one's first act. The same could be said about Sevika, because while it wasn't nearly as extreme as with Jinx, he didn't need to give her so much responsibility. Frankly it's dangerous for a kingpin to give their righthand so much power (it's supposed to be spread around), and everyone noticed, even idiots like Finn.

That's why their loss is so pronounced, in all the years they dedicated to Silco, he gave up just as much of himself to them. Silco weakened himself and trusted Sevika and Jinx to make up for it. They filled eachother out, they needed eachother, and without him there's just a hole what they all used to give eachother.

[lgbtlunaverse]

One thing i've run up against when dealing with fandom and characters making less than ideal choices is that people seem to treat a character's decision being sympathetic, the decision being understandable, the decision being reasonable, and it being objectively the best solution for the situation, as synonymous. When those are 4 very different things.

[bixels]

in case you wanna know how bad things are on twitter rn.

[nenoname]

you can see that the script originally had ford building an anti-gravity machine for the science fair (which i guess acts as foreshadowing to the portal?), but the sun lightbulb feels like it would've connected to the opening of stanchurian candidate....