#and it may also be a sign of insanity on my part BUT WHATEVER THIS ISNT WHATS IMPORTANT

[bubblesbinxs]

Had a dream where instead of A Date With Markiplier i was on a date with dark and trust me when i say i had the most horrible time realizing none of it was real the moment i woke up. anyways here’s some self-indulgent art hihi ^.^

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

[allmyloveandyours]

Astrology Observations 3!!!!

Hi I'm back again but these ones are kinda like straight up opinions. Take what resonates! I'm not a professional, if anything I'm a goofy fella who constantly asks to see peoples charts.

Virgo Midheaven creates a very detailed oriented person with an immaculate image. Everything they put out is out together well, their plans to be successful are insanely planned out, and I've never seen one look messy.

Mercury in your Suns element explain the things best to you.

Asteroid Actor (12238) conjunct Ascendant could mean people don't believe you when you're being honest/your sincerity comes off as fake.

Heavy Aquarius placements may love watching long commentary videos. Especially drama breakdown videos with Leo in the mix. I am a victim of this ✊😔

A lot of squares in a natal chart can make an extremely chill person. Whatever inner tension they have makes them oddly calm and forgiving of other people. Especially Sun squaring Mars and or Jupiter, it kinda feels like a cancellation happens where there should be anger. They also may get picked on a lot.

Moon in 10th and 11th house are popular placements for success. Whatever attention you get, your moon sign will tell you what people love about you. Jupiter also tells the same thing, but a less tame affect. Examples can be Moon in Pisces means that your very intuitive when it comes to your audience, and they vibe with you because of that. Jupiter in Pisces could have people going crazy for your intuitiveness and you could be able to gauge how you get attention the easiest.

The most accurate description of a rising sign I've seen is Virgo Rising having Resting Bitch Face. They also age SO well. The stars really balanced it out for them.

Mars in Libra can make a very passive person in relationships, and the house can talk about the problems. They may not want to speak up/will try to appease their partners. Like if the partner wants a cat and the Libra is deathly allergic, they'd rather get the cat than tell their partner there's an issue.

If you're feeling a little lost and need direction, looking at your Vesta could be a good place to start. Vesta represents your undying flame and your spark, so it can help jump-start your passions. Vesta in 5th can point to taking up more creative hobbies such as writing, acting, drawing, or maybe taking care of kids, 6th means starting with a healthy routine, helping others, or volunteering with animals, 1st is taking care of yourself and your appearance, and making even spicing things up a little. All of this is of course depending on the sign.

Cancer Midheavens are the best at being able to gauge audiences/coworkers reactions to things. Although it may seem strange, they're nice in positions of management. Strict enough to make you listen but nice enough to understand if you can't make deadlines/can sense if you're burnt out.

I feel like I can make a billion posts on Saturn since it's one of my favorite planets, but here's a favorite: I'm not sure who said it (it could've been multiple, if anyone knows who I'm talking about leave their @ in the replies) but your chart ruler in a house can show where you may excel, but also have problems based on what body part it rules. A good example for me is Saturn in 5th Gemini, and I have wrist joint/bone issues caused by excessive drawing and writing. I also get a lot of compliments for my jaw so win/win scenario. Another not me example is your rising being Sagittarius, with Jupiter in 6th house. You could be a joyous person when it comes to taking care of people/yourself, with a stable routine that's a bit too rigorous and you could end up hurting your thighs in some way like pulling your hamstring, or just having really thick thighs and contributing it to your routine. S/o to you for that

Uranus in retrograde can point to bad technology skills. Probably the type of person to go "I hate technology" one minute then continue to giggle at memes on Twitter the next. Especially in Aquarius.

Gemini Midheavens/Mars need to do multiple things at once. So like if you're a writer, you might be your publisher as well or your editor, or even make your own book cover. If you do YouTube you'll be your own editor and script writer. If you're an actor you may act and director, the list can go forever. But doing at least 2 things seems to stop the jumping from project to project some Geminis may feel creatively.

I like describing North Node and Vertex as The path you're drawn to (NN) vs What path you're gonna get dragged down (V). Like you can ignore your north node if you want but vertex will force you to deal with it. Like if you have North Node in 4nd but Vertex in 8th. You could ignore any homebody nature, ignore your roots and any family life, but you will be forced to go through transformations, deaths and rebirths whether you like it or not, or even notice it.

Pisces suns kinda flock together, I've never seen one by themselves.

Oppositions to Mars can tell you what makes you quick to anger even if you're not a hot headed person. Mars Opposite Venus could be that you get upset when people criticize your style, love life or appearance. Mars Opposite Sun could mean you don't like when people criticize you period, and it may be very ego based.

Chiron in 1st house may be sore losers, and they don't like looking stupid, especially with positive planets in 9th house. They may need to learn how to deal with showing a bit of that Chiron side in a healthy way, since the 1st house is the thing people see first.

Your descendant could be the moon sign/element you get the most, especially in love.

Squares/Opposites to Neptune can show what illusions you need to break in order to get closer to your intuitive nature. Neptune Square Pluto could mean you need to go through a full transformation and rebirth. Neptune opposite Mars means you may need to deal with bouts of anger, realigning your passions and directing your energy in the proper direction.

Mars in Scorpio are the calmest mars sign of them all. Nothing really ever phases them to be honest, regardless of the house.

ALRIGHT these ones were deadass just things I've noticed. Might be a week or so till I post another one, but let me know if there's any topics you think I should cover next besides the Chiron one I'm planning. See you next time :)

[slythindor100]

Hello friends! I, along with my co-mod, timothysboxers, are thrilled to announce that 25 Days of Draco and Harry will run again in 2023. We want to thank @navi1088 for creating this art for our banner.

For those who may not be familiar with this challenge, I have included the rules at the end of this post, and I encourage you to read these.

And for the loyal fans of 25 Days of Harry and Draco: In 2023, we will be doing both Early-bird and Traditional prompts as usual. Again, we're running on LJ, DW and tumblr – the rules will be the same as last year.

Because it seemed to work out quite well last year, the Early-bird Prompts will once again be available in late October, and we will be including the Image Descriptions along with the prompts.

Early bird prompts will be available no later than Sunday, 22 October, allowing creators over 5 weeks and some change to work on their posts.

Also, we will have the Discord server specifically for 25 Days of Draco and Harry participants. Like last year, this will be a place where early bird participants can discuss (in a channel just for them) the prompts and how they might use them. Traditional participants will join the general section of the server in December.

The 2023 rules at a glance, for those familiar with the concept:

25 Days of Draco and Harry 2023 - Traditional

No changes from prior years. A photo prompt is posted starting at midnight EST 1 December, and you create a work based on that prompt and post before the next day's prompt goes up.

Each of your posts can be part of a larger work or they can stand alone.

25 Days of Draco and Harry 2023 - Early Bird

You receive access to all 25 photo prompts no later than midnight (EST) Sunday, 22 October. This is the same time frame as last year. Hopefully this will give you time to prepare and create for 25 Days before the insanity of December starts.

You will post one work per day for each prompt. This can be a stand-alone story or each day can be a part of a bigger story. We may even get a pod-fic this year of a past 25 Days fic and that would be posted a chapter a day. ♥

The advantages are this:

1) you can use the picture prompts in any order you chose

2) you can start creating early and have many of your posts ready to go before December 1st.

3) you get the prompts all at once so you can pre-plan your story or your use of each day's prompt.

The basic rules of 25 Days of Draco and Harry – Traditional Edition:

The challenge is to write a drabble, ficlet, story (whatever) for the pictures posted each day from 1 Dec to 25 Dec. Your fic for each prompt must be a minimum of 100 words – but there is no maximum. They can be twenty-five one-shots or each one can be a part of a bigger story. Pictures will be posted at midnight EST and you have until the next midnight to complete your work.

Yes, you may combine this with other communities or tumblr prompts.

Your fic does not have to be a story of the picture – you can use a part of the picture or whatever that picture says to you. We're pretty flexible around here.

Traditional Prompts must be used in their posted order. If you fall behind, you can post more than once a day to get caught up. You're also welcome to post as life allows, meaning you don't have to worry about being on time. You can also combine a few days or prompts into one fic/ficlet/drabble/etc. But the true challenge is to post every day for 25 days within the 24-hour time frame.

You do not need to sign-up for the Traditional edition, the prompts will be made available beginning 1 December at midnight EST.

While you're not required to, you are encouraged to add your story to the AO3 collection by adding "25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022" to your submissions, under collections, when you post them to your own AO3 account. A link to the collection will be provided in the official rules post after it has been created.

The basic rules of 25 Days of Draco and Harry – Early-bird Edition:

The sign-up period for Early Bird participants will be from 15 October to 20 October 2023 via AirTable.

After signups close you will be given access to the 25 picture prompts no later than Sunday, 23 October. You may use these prompts in any order you choose – but each prompt may only be used once. The challenge remains to post a daily work from 1 Dec to 25 Dec using one of the provided prompts. Each should be posted between 12 midnight (EST) and 11:59 PM (EST) the next night. For written works, the minimum word count is 100.

While you're not required to, you are encouraged to add your story to the AO3 collection by adding "25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022" to your submissions, under collections, when you post them to your own AO3 account. A link to the collection will be provided in the official rules post after it has been created.

FOR BOTH EARLY BIRD AND TRADITIONAL. IF YOU ARE POSTING INDIVIDUAL STORIES FOR THE 25 PROMPTS, PLEASE CHECK "THIS WORK IS PART OF A SERIES". THIS WILL PUT ALL 25 STORIES TOGETHER UNDER ONE HEADER, RATHER THAN 25 INDIVIDUAL POSTS (which can be difficult to find).

IF YOU ARE POSTING ONE BIG STORY, PLEASE CHECK "THIS WORK HAS MULTIPLE CHAPTERS". AGAIN, FOR THE REASON LISTED ABOVE.

The early bird prompts and the traditional prompts do vary. Some may be used on both but mostly they are two distinct sets of prompts.

If you have any questions, please email the 25 days mod account at potionsgod@gmail.com or DM one of the mods if you're on the Drarry Discord server.

@sassy-cissa and @timothysboxers

[growinguparo]

Thinking once again about the intersection of being aro / perpetually single and the Housing Issue. It is without a doubt the biggest issue I face as an aro person, particularly in fucking Canada.

In my province we have rent control on almost all rental units by default. Annual rent increases are capped at 2.5%, and though I have had landlords in the past try to break that law, they back down when you say "that's literally not legal lmao try again".

In my province we also have a type of lease called a group lease, where multiple people sign on as a group. This is the standard type of lease used in properties with more than one bedroom.

If one person wishes to remove themself from a group lease, that terminates the lease for all of the other tenants in the group. Therefore, in order to continue living in the unit they are already in and may have been in for years, the landlord can choose to force the remaining tenants to reapply, and upon signing a "new lease" they can increase the rent by however much they want. Forget 2.5%, they could double rent with no consequences and still get tenants because that's how desperate people are in Canada.

Seeing as that's fucking insane, I talked to multiple lawyers about it the last time this happened to me, and they all said yeah no, if someone wants to be removed from the lease then the landlord can choose to deny a takeover and force a new lease. You can prevent the issues that come with a new lease if everyone remains on the old lease even if they no longer live there, but that is rather precarious for everyone involved and also makes your landlord hate your guts.

Anytime a new lease is signed, landlords can increase by whatever they want, so renovictions are very common (I've been renovicted as well). With all these easy-to-access loopholes, "rent control" is a joke.

It is New Year's Day and I have received yet another email informing me that since one of my roommates decided to leave at the end of the lease period, our lease will be terminating and showings will begin next week. If any one of us wants to stay, we have to reapply at market rates with a replacement person already in the group ready to sign a new lease, or we have to all remain on the old lease.

I left my parents' home in 2016, and since then I have moved 15-17 times, depending what you count as a move, and lived in 12-13 different places. That's due to a bunch of forced circumstances, including co-op placements and illegal evictions, but many of those moves were because the roommates I was living with decided to move on with their lives, and I had no choice but to move as well.

When I tell people I've moved 15 times in 7 years, they are always shocked. I'm like, how have you NOT though? Having had this conversation many times, I start to ponder what makes me vulnerable to this type of exploitation, and what makes my friends able to avoid some of it.

#1. As a low-income disabled person, I am unable to afford "market rates". This means I'm always tryna get units that are below market rate, and those landlords are invariably very interested in removing their tenants to bring their busted-ass units up to market rate.

#2. I am SINGLE bro. No one is planning their life around living with me. Every time a roommate leaves, I get forced out too. I did have a long-term roommate for a couple years who bounced around 4 places with me, but eventually she moved city - as is her right - and I was forced out again.

Couples also have more options when it comes to affordable housing, particularly if they are willing to share a room. Sharing a room cuts your rent in half. It’s pretty rare to see just one person living in a 1bed because it’s just ludicrously expensive, but for couples it’s a decent option. During the searching stage as well, if you already have someone to live with it’s a lot easier to find places than if you also have to find new roommates (this part is especially brutal for me as a trans person). It is certainly still difficult for couples in the market, I know couples who have ended up homeless as well, but being alone makes you more vulnerable.

The housing crisis is a broad issue affecting literally everyone, but single people are one of the groups that is systematically disadvantaged, making it a significant issue for aros imo. It is the combination of being single and low-income that has made me so vulnerable to housing instability.

Edited with minor corrections

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Alright, question. Does anyone know what these graphs that show up throughout Double are? They're driving me insane because the only thing I can think of them being is brainwaves, which has Implications (aka Trikoto coping). It doesn't look perfectly like it, but I think it's the best match.

Like, here's the thing. First, they look like functions, except both sides of the "y" axis are positive??? Which makes no sense, obviously. That makes it hard to figure out what they're supposed to be, since I don't know any graphs which are Like That. My only guess is that it means the value displayed is always positive or doesn't matter, meaning the plus signs are there only to indicate it's a graph, but it's not fantastic. Again, if someone has better ideas, let me know (and it's probably a good idea to check the notes of this post in case I'm being stupid btw).

But let's look. There's two distinct type of "functions" which appear; sine-like functions (wavy) and "spiky" functions. Here's the issue with that. Sine functions appear fucking everywhere in nature, so it's not like that really helps narrow down what we're dealing with here. And spiky functions like that just- they're nowhere to be found. I literally did a reverse image search on a Paint reconstruction to see if anything in the internet looked like that, but I was only finding electrical systems (icons, not graphs) and stuff that Does Not Look Related. So what are they?

Again, I'm not sure, but take a look at one of the contexts in which they appear.

(I apologize for the youtube scroll bar there, I can't be bothered to get these screenshots without going frame by frame)

On the left, Mikoto is sleeping with a sine wave next to him. On the right, John is awake with a spiky graph. The imagery of sleeping and dreaming is very prevalent in Double, as a lot of times (including the scene I'm referencing right now) switches between Mikoto and John are indicated by "Oyasumi" ('good night') for Mikoto and "Ohayo" ('good morning') for John (mostly, depends on exact theories). Not to mention all the times the word "dream" shows up, etc. Just look at the MV, it's filled with this type of imagery.

Which is what got me thinking these graphs could be approxiamates of brainwave graphs.

Notice how Gamma and Beta waves, associated with wakefulness, are pretty spiky. Not as sharp as whatever the fuck John's got going on, but pretty spiky nonetheless. Meanwhile, Theta waves, which some sources claim is associated to light sleep, looks vaguely like a sine function if you look at it with one eye closed.

Honestly, while the comparison is not perfect by any means, the fact it relates to so many of Double's themes like sleep and exploration of the mind makes me think this is the most likely thing. I reiterate, I am not completely confident on this, if you have better ideas let me know.

And this interpretation does work with most of it's appearances without much issue. We've already seen the "John is awake" thing:

(Note: For this post I am only taking into account things between the plus signs. Other scribbles can be interpreted as just that, scribbles to indicate a chaotic mental state, and will thus be disregarded)

It shows up alongside (presumably) John again in the "that'd be good" image flash.

And there's also this? Which I'm not sure qualifies. The plus signs are over the entire scene, while the spiky function is only on part of the scene.

Which makes me think it wouldn't quite count, but I can't be sure.

But you may have noticed I'm sort of ignoring the elephant in the room. Look at the graphs which appear alongside Mikoto:

There's usually two overlapping functions (if you ignore another two-function graph appearing at the very end of the "Mikoto is sleeping" scene). Which I imagine doesn't quite make sense even with DID (I mean, by definition a function cannot have two f(x) values assigned to the same 'x' value), but this is a symbolic function, it doesn't have to literally work. And if they are brainwaves, they would likely represent... co-fronting, presumably? Which sorta doesn't work unless Trikoto is real, as we never hear of John co-fronting ever. Doesn't help that the final image flash, as you can see, a few frames later gives a third function in a separate graph, so 2 + 1 imagery.

And it actually works pretty well. The first scene where this happens has two sine functions, one of which has higher frequency at the start, but slowly loses frequency until it fully overlaps. And in that moment, Mikoto wakes up and there's a switch to John. The deeper the sleep, the lower the frequency (<- massive oversimplification). So, Mikoto, who is already asleep at the start, probably has that sine function which doesn't change, and a second alter goes to sleep, going dormant.

Which fits, because later, when Mikoto is awake and panting, one of the functions is spiky (awake) while the other is sine-y (asleep). So there's a dormant alter here. But we then see a graph for presumably the alter right after, which is spiky and awake. Thus, the alter that's dormant is neither Mikoto nor the alter on the ceiling, therefore Trikoto.

That covers all the times these graphs appear in the MV (I checked. I have issues). So, again, not certain of any conclusions, but brainwaves is sorta the best I can come up with at the moment. Anyways, thanks for reading and take care!

[autumnshighlady]

I’ve Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 15)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Azriel has a tough decision to make

warnings: Night Court slander, semi graphic torture, Rhysand is horrible, the usual

word count: 5.8k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: oh my god i am so so so sorry this took so long! life has been insane lately i havent had the energy to write. Anywho, this chapter is just the start of something super big so buckle up and look for hints hehe alsO PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER IM BEGGING

feedback is appreciated, just no hate pls! these are just my opinions, i’m more curious to see how you all like the writing and characterization and storylines!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 // part 10 // part 11

read on ao3

Spotify playlist

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AZRIEL POV

Azriel couldn’t help but flinch at the sight of your limp body, arms strung up like you were a piece of meat dangling from the chains. He had thought himself to be good at shutting off his emotions when it came to his line of work, but this felt different. Wrong, even. It confused him – not once had he ever hesitated, ever even considered disobeying his High Lord’s orders down in these dungeons.

Your hair was matted and lifeless around your face, the weak rise and fall of your chest being the only indication that you were even still alive. The beautiful gown that adorned your body at the ball was now tattered and dirty, barely clinging onto your skin in some places. Azriel gulped as he stared at your unconscious form, wiped out from Rhysand’s attempts to penetrate your mind.

Evidently, the High Lord was beyond frustrated, his brow furrowed and sweaty from the efforts. “I’ve never seen this,” He muttered, running a hand through his dark hair. “Not once. I’ve always been able to get inside people’s heads. Why not hers?”

“I don’t know.” Azriel responded. He felt his shadows curl around his scarred fingers. Normally they did so to encourage him to get the job done, but this time felt different. It was as if they wanted him not to end your life, but to reach out and free you from the shackles. But he ignored them.

Rhys slumped against the wall, panting slightly. “I need answers, Az.” He snapped, voice sharp. “How is this girl able to withstand my magic? And how the hell did she access some ancient spell that allowed this bond to form with Nesta? I would prefer to know before I end things, so whatever shit she may have put in motion can be stopped.”

Azriel stiffened. “End things?

The High Lord sighed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on, Azriel. You know this is how it has to end. She spent months plotting against our court, and possesses some form of magic within her bond with Nesta. She’s a threat and you know it. And threats like that must be eliminated.”

He spoke with that authoritative voice that Azriel had seen bring so many others to their knees in obedience. He felt it tug at his bones, the instinct to obey his High Lord. Azriel had always considered himself loyal, never needing that extra kick to submit to his superior. Until now. “I disagree.” Azriel said sternly. “(Y/N) has lied, yes. But she has shown no signs of intending to inflict harm upon this court. All she wanted was to get out, and she knew we wouldn’t let her.”

“I don’t recall you being this blind, brother.” Rhysand’s voice was low as his violet eyes sternly stared down his spymaster. “Did she flash you her tits during training sessions? Is that why you’ve suddenly gone soft?”

“No. I think we pushed her too hard, too fast into this job she did not want. She had already lost everything in the Spring Court, and when Lucien brought her here she immediately became a prisoner. Did you expect her to bow at your feet and be eternally grateful for letting her stay here? We should have given her a reason to want to become a part of this court, not force her into it within a span of months.”

Rhysand let out a growl, and Azriel knew he was pushing his limits. “Careful, Az.” He said. But Azriel ignored him.

“Can you blame her for resenting us?” The shadowsinger continued, against his better judgement. “Our High Lady destroyed her court, and when Lucien brought her here she was forced to live indebted to the female who allowed her home to be ruined.”

There was a low rumble within the cell as Rhysand’s dark mist began to creep out from behind him. “Choose your next words wisely, Azriel. Or I’ll begin to think you’ve helped her.”

“I didn’t, and you know it. But your protectiveness for your mate is clouding your judgement as a leader, Rhysand. This girl does not deserve to die for what she has done.”

Before he could breathe another word, a sharp pain cut through his throat as Rhys’ dark power wrapped around it, cutting off his air. Shock flooded through him, hazel eyes bulging as the violet eyed male snarled at him. He didn’t try to fight back. Not once had his brother gone this far – sure, they had their fair share of nasty fights, but never like this. No matter how angry they had gotten with each other, neither had ever threatened the life of the other. Until now.

“That is not your call to make, spymaster.” Rhysand snarled furiously. “I am your High Lord before anything else, and you are sworn to me. My word is law, not yours. You will go and search for more insight into this bond between her and Nesta. Whether you find anything on it or not, (Y/N) will die by your hand at dawn tomorrow. You will not protest, and you will not breathe a word about this to anyone. If I sense even for a second that you will disobey me, I will throw you in a cell beside this scheming whore. Am I understood?”

Azriel nodded as best he could, body still frozen in shock. After a moment, Rhysand’s tendrils finally retreated, leaving the spymaster gasping for air. Despite working alongside him, being the executioner to his master for over 500 years, Azriel had never known what it was to be like on the receiving end of his High Lord’s pure fury until now. He glanced over at your strung-up figure, guilt churning in his gut. You had endured this torture for days, a torture Azriel only received a glimpse of.

As the spymaster inhaled deeply kneeling on the cold floor, his shadows whispered to him. He knew deep down that he had a choice to make, one like never before. 500 years of loyalty to Rhysand was being put to the test, something Azriel never thought would happen. Another glance at how intensely Rhys was staring at your imprisoned, starved form was all he needed to winnow away.

*********************

Azriel’s throat still burned from the pressing of Rhys’ dark mist. He kept his demeanour calm as he approached the doors to the library at the House of Wind, even though his stomach was in a thousand knots. He knew what he was about to do was treason at the highest order, and the second Rhys found out he would be flayed alive. The clenching and unclenching of his scarred fingers was the only indication of his disturbance as the spymaster was met with Clotho. Her pale robes shone in the blue light of the library as she approached him.

Shadowsinger, Her elegant writing appeared on the paper in lieu of her voice. What can I do for you?

“I need to see Gwyneth.” Azriel said, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice to not alarm the priestess.

Gwyn is occupied right now. May I take a message?

He gulped nervously. “I’m really sorry, Clotho. But I need her right now.”

That will not be possible. I suggest you return at another time, Azriel.

“Please.” Azriel hated begging, and hated pushing the priestess even more. But before Clotho could script a reply, a gentle voice sounded from behind the shelves a few metres away.

“Azriel?” Gwyn’s red hair appeared, streaming down her flowing robes as she carried an alarming amount of books. “What are you doing here?”

“Gwyn, I need to speak with you in private. Right now.” He pleaded, hoping Clotho wouldn’t shoo him away.

Gwyn’s teal eyes were puzzled, but she nodded. “It’s alright Clotho.” The priestess merely nodded beneath her hood before turning and disappearing back into the stacks.

Azriel breathed a sigh of relief as Gwyn put down the books. She walked towards one of the offices, and he followed her in silence. The room was tense as she closed the door behind him.

She crossed her arms, which made him halt. Normally his interactions with Gwyn were pleasant, leaving his shadows singing happily afterwards. But the way she was staring at him with a hardened glare made him want to shrink back.

“Where is (Y/N)?” Gwyn said sharply.

Azriel took a deep breath, unsure of how to approach this. He didn’t know what version of that night at the Hewn City had reached the ears of the priestesses. “Gwyn–”

“Don’t bullshit me for one second, Azriel.” The redhead was unyielding, but he could see the anxiousness within her as her throat bobbed with every word. “Nesta left for Autumn with Eris, but (Y/N) never returned from the Hewn City that night. What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything–” He started, but Gwyn cut him off abruptly.

“I said don’t bullshit me, you fucking liar!” Her voice rose, long fingers clenching and trembling with anger. It was enough to make Azriel take a step back, shocked at the fire within her. “I heard you grabbed her and whisked her away that night. What the hell did you do to my friend?”

Azriel leaned against the desk, wiping his face with his hand. His heart cracked a bit, knowing that trust and companionship he had built with Gwyn while training had come crashing down. He hated himself for it, for being so blind in following orders that led him to this place. His loyalty to Rhysand came at a price, one he had always been willing to pay until now. “I’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I was following orders.”

“What is wrong with you?” Gwyn hissed, her words cutting him sharper than Rhysand’s magic had. “You took away her one chance of leaving this gods damned court peacefully. You took away her freedom out of stupid, blind loyalty.”

“How did you know what happened that night?”

She snorted. “You and your little circle like to treat us priestesses like we’re these fragile little flowers living in our own little shelter, oblivious to the outside world. But people talk, and word reaches us. We aren’t as ignorant to the court as you think we are.”

“I never said that you were.”

“You basically just did.”

Shame washed over Azriel. He knew she was right, that he was a prick in assuming the priestesses remained clueless to what was happening in the court right now. And that’s why Clotho had been hesitant to let him into the library. “I never meant for any of this to happen.” He muttered, closing his eyes.

“Well, it did. Now tell me where my friend is, and why you’re here.”

Azriel took a breath, preparing to utter the words that would make this decision the point of no return. “I need everything you have on the bond between (Y/N) and Nesta.”

A flicker of worry crossed Gwyn’s teal eyes. “I don’t know anything–”

“Yes, you do.” Azriel interrupted her calmly. “My guess is you knew about their plan as well. Otherwise you’d be a lot more freaked out by Nesta marrying Eris.”

As panic began to set into the priestess’ face, Azriel softened his voice. “It’s ok, I’m not going to tell anyone. It makes sense that any information that Nesta and (Y/N) got on the bond was through you and your work. You are not in trouble, and nobody will hear from me that you helped them. I just need every scrap of information you were able to get your hands on regarding whatever magic they used.”

She narrowed her eyes. “So you can give it to your master like a good dog playing fetch? Not gonna happen. He’ll use it to hurt both of them. I don’t care that he’s the High Lord, I won’t let him do that.”

Azriel stood up and took a step towards Gwyn. She didn’t shrink back, but rather lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “Gwyn,” He began. “That’s not what this is. I’m not retrieving this information for Rhysand.”

The priestess blinked once, as if considering the gravity of his words. He wished he could spill the truth and tell Gwyn what he planned to do, but just uttering those words directly to her would put her at risk. “Then who are you retrieving it for?”

“Look, I am not trying to hide anything from you. But I told you… if you knew the truth, I would be putting you at risk for selfish reasons. And after all I have done, that is something I cannot live with. You just have to trust me when I say that it is for the right reason.”

“After hearing about how you so quickly stole (Y/N) away, I’m not sure if we have the same definition of the right reason, Azriel.” Gwyn’s voice was bitter, but there was a sadness to it that made the guilt churning inside of him threaten to spill over.

“I understand.” He said quietly. “And you have no reason to trust me right now. But please… if you’ve ever had any faith in me at all…just….just know that I’m doing this for (Y/N). And Nesta. If you believe anything I say, believe that.”

Silence overtook the room, the shadowsinger and the priestess standing mere inches from each other. After a long few minutes Gwyn muttered a ‘stay here’ before quickly fleeing the office.

She returned 15 minutes later with a few sheets of parchment paper and several books. They were placed upon the dusty table, and Gwyn took a deep breath. “This is everything I have on the subject,” She said shakily. “It’s not much, but it’s every document that could possibly give anything away about the bond between them.”

Without thinking, Azriel dropped to his knees in relief, bowing his head. “Thank you, Gwyn. Thank you.” His entire body was on the verge of shaking as the weight of what he was about to do began to truly set in. Everything he had known and defended was about to be put on the line.

“Promise me this, Azriel.” Gwyn spoke coldly. “Promise that this information gets into the right hands, not the wrong ones. You do whatever it takes to help my girls. After everything you and your family have done to them, you owe them that much. And more.”

“I swear it.” Azriel said solemnly, still looking at the ground. In a flash, he felt a cold blade pressing against his jaw, tilting his head upwards to gaze at the priestess. She looked like a goddess of justice, staring down at him with icy eyes.

“And I swear this to you,” Gwyn said coldly, a silver dagger in hand. “If you screw this up and they pay the price for it, no power in the world will stop me from hurting you. I don’t care that you trained me, or that you saved me on that day Hybern came. I will cut your throat if anything happens to Nesta or (Y/N) because of you. Understood?”

Azriel was enthralled at her strength. This was not the shy, nervous priestess that he had rescued from Hybern’s soldiers. Gwyn’s bravery had excelled since the second she stepped into the ring, and Azriel had marvelled at her progress during training, how comfortable she became with the outside world. Stupidly, he had credited that to his and Cassian’s training, thinking that it was what Gwyn, Nesta and the others had needed to heal like he and Cassian had. No, this strength had nothing to do with what he taught her. Behind her stern expression, Azriel knew that deep down this strength had come from the friendship formed with you, Nesta, and Emerie. He had been a fool to see it as anything other than that.

“I’m proud of you, Gwyn.” Azriel said softly before his brain could shut him up.

Despite the flicker of surprise across her face, she did not yield. “I do not need your validation. I need you to do the right thing and help my friends. Only after that will your statement be worth anything to me.”

Gwyn removed the blade from the spymaster’s throat and turned on her heel. Like a ghost in the wind, she was gone. Azriel’s chest was tight as he stood up, collecting the documents in his arms and praying that this possibly very stupid decision would be worth it. But after seeing the anger on Gwyn’s face, the hurt he had caused without even realising it…. Azriel knew exactly what he needed to do as he winnowed away.

*********************

The door in front of Azriel opened before he could raise a hand to knock, revealing the redhead male with a golden eye wide with surprise.

“Azriel?” Lucien said in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk.” Was all he said in response before pushing his way past Lucien into the manor.

“By all means, come in.” The male muttered sarcastically.  But Azriel paid it no mind as he scanned the large living room for any sign of Jurian and Vassa.

“I’m alone.” Lucien quipped, settling down on the large brown armchair by the fireplace. “Since that’s what you were trying to figure out. I’m surprised you came by before (Y/N). I thought she’d have visited already, but I guess she’s been enjoying Velaris too much to be slumming it down in the human lands. When you see her next, thank her for the scarf for me, will you?”

Azriel’s heart dropped, head whipping sharply towards Azriel. “What?” He didn’t even bother keeping the surprise out of his voice.

Lucien frowned. “The scarf she gave me for the solstice? Rhys delivered it a day or so after, said she was busy on a new mission and asked him to drop it off for her.”

“Rhys was here?” Dread pooled in Azriel’s stomach. His High Lord was ensuring your disappearance would be quiet, giving him time to create a cover story before eliminating you.

“Yes… Why do you look so concerned? What aren’t you telling me?”

Azriel put his head in his hands, cursing. “You have no idea what’s been going on, have you?”

Lucien was still as a statue as he spoke. “I haven’t heard from (Y/N) since I got to the manor. When Rhysand visited, he said she had picked out a scarf for me as a present, and that she was sorry she hadn’t visited, but that she was loving her life in Velaris. And that she was training under you to work for the Night Court as a spy.”

Any desire to be secretive flew out the window as Azriel explained everything to the Autumn male – how you were not freely living in Velaris, but locked away with Nesta in the House of Wind. Your time spent back at the Spring Court to spy on your own people. Nesta’s engagement to Eris as a cover to escape the Night Court. Lucien was usually a collected male in Azriel’s eyes, but he could see the disbelief and anger in his expression as he told him the truth. When he was done, Lucien leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, speaking in a low voice. “So you’re telling me that you locked away my best friend, and everything I’ve heard about her for these past few months has been a lie.” Lucien said. “Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Azriel said quietly. “And now I’m trying to fix it–”

“Fucking hell!” Lucien exclaimed sharply, standing up abruptly and pacing back and forth. “Your court is a fucking shitshow, you know that? How the fuck can you let this happen, Azriel? You’re so far up Rhysand’s ass you didn’t see any of this coming?”

“I understand you’re angry–”

“Oh angry doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Lucien hissed, his red hair gleaming in the light of the fire. “You played right into Rhys’ hands, and now (Y/N) is being tortured in a cell somewhere because you let it happen instead of growing a fucking spine. And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the fact that Nesta was treated so horribly by you people she was willing to marry ERIS out of all people just to get away from it.”

Azriel had no defence. Defeated, he hung his head. Lucien was right about everything, and it was made worse by the fact Rhysand lied about your status to him knowing that the Autumn male was the only one likely to try and do something to stick up for you.

“Now what I can’t figure out is why you’re telling me this.” Lucien folded his arms, glaring at the spymaster. “You’re either betraying Rhysand and trying to fix this mess, which is brave but incredibly stupid. Or you’ve come here to see if I somehow had anything to do with all this so you can hang me up in a cell next to (Y/N). Which is it, shadowsinger?”

”I need your help.” Azriel admitted, meeting his harsh gaze. “I’m trying to turn this around, but I need to track down Eris. You’re my only shot.”

Lucien let out a harsh, heartless laugh. “I figured. You need my help. If you thought I wasn’t going to be any use to you, I wonder if you’d have even come here and told me the truth. Or would you have just let me live on believing this lie until word got around about (Y/N) meeting her tragic end on some mission.”

Mentally, Azriel was exhausted. Two redheads ripping him a new one was beginning to chip away at him more than he was already crumbling at the weight of his decision. Like Gwyn, Lucien was right. While he respected the male, Azriel doubted he’d have even considered coming just to tell Lucien the truth about what happened if he didn’t think Lucien could help. And his moment of silence told Lucien all he needed to know, for he scoffed again. “Of course not,” He continued. “You people just love exploiting those of us without any other options and then throwing us away like garbage when we’re no longer of any use to you.”

“Then help me make this right.” Azriel pleaded. “Tell me how to get to Eris, discreetly.”

“Can’t you just free her yourself and take her to safety?”

“No, there are ancient wards in that prison. I can pass through quickly and easily, but not so much with another person. Rhys would find us within seconds if she left that cell, and kill us both.”

“Then how do you propose we get her out?”

Azriel frowned. “I’m sorry, we?”

Lucien rolled his eyes, taking a hearty swig from his glass of wine beside him. “I’m going to help you get her out.”

Azriel shook his head, not liking how many people were involved in this already. “I can’t let you.”

“Bullshit. You don’t get to tell me what to do. Not after everything you’ve done to create this mess. I’ll take you to Eris, and besides, I think I know something that can help us.”

*********************

The crisp scents of Autumn flooded Azriel’s senses as he paced the clearing. His mind whirled from his talk with Lucien, even more so at the male’s idea that they had discussed. Lucien had winnowed him here and told him to wait while he discreetly fetched Eris. It was a huge gamble – while you and Nesta had been willing to trust Eris, Azriel was not so keen. His dealings with the prince had always been tense at best, and vicious at worst. He knew he’d have to swallow his pride and put their history aside for this, however hard it may be.

Frankly, Azriel had no idea where in the Autumn Court he was. His shadows sensed nothing, no indication of where they were on the map. It briefly crossed his mind that Lucien could very well have led him into a trap as payback, but deep down Azriel knew Lucien wasn’t that type of male. However angry he might be at Azriel, he would prioritise getting you back. The clearing was massive, which made him feel far too exposed for his liking. There was a thicket of trees in the distance that he considered hiding in, but he owed it to Lucien to do as he was instructed and wait here.

It felt like hours before a strong gust of wind blew his tousled locks out of his forehead, and the presence of something Azriel could only describe as sheer power slammed into him like a wall. A thunderous roar sounded from the skies, unlike anything the shadowsinger had ever heard before. But nothing could have prepared him for the sight before him.

Three large dragons were flying ahead, circling above the clearing. Their wings were like claps of thunder, nearly sending him backwards onto the ground. Upon the back of the large black one was the unmistakable, arrogant figure of Eris Vanserra. He held onto the spikes going down the dragon’s neck as it soared above Azriel, roaring with the ferocity of an ancient battlecry. Azriel’s jaw nearly hit the ground as he spotted none other than Nesta Archeron, riding the elegant silver dragon with her hair blowing in the wind. Her eyes were a lethal glowing silver, resembling the scales of the very beast she was mounted on.

“Mother above…” Azriel whispered, flinching as he felt the ground shake beneath him. He turned around slowly, and was met with the third dragon, a riderless one with gold scales and large horns. It snaked towards him, growling fiercely. For a moment, Azriel thought the beast would open its jaws and roast him alive, but the creature paused, growling as it glanced behind the shadowsinger.

“I must say, you are the last person I expected to come here.” Came Eris’ cocky voice. Azriel turned back around, slightly nervous at the golden dragon breathing down his neck, and was faced with the other two. Ignoring Eris, his gaze landed upon Nesta.

She was perched upon the dragon like it was a horse, or even a throne, chin high like a queen from ancient times. Azriel’s breath left his body at the sight of Nesta with her hair unbound, trailing freely down her back and shining against her blood red dress. Whichever way her gaze shifted, the dragon’s did so too. It was like watching Nesta in a mirror, only her reflection was a dragon. It unnerved Azriel, and he was well aware of his vulnerability in this situation. Not only was he in enemy court, unauthorised at that matter, but three beasts he thought only existed in stories stood beside him, in the flesh.

“Lucien said you wanted to meet.” Eris said coldly. “You have ten seconds to convince us that it’s worth our time.”

“(Y/N) will die at sunrise tomorrow if we do not do something.” Azriel blurted out clumsily.

There was a moment of silence, and Eris looked towards Nesta. Her gaze was fixed on Azriel, and he squirmed underneath it. Her silver mount growled fiercely, as if it was sharing its riders' rage.

“Are we supposed to believe that you’ve suddenly had a change of heart and care about her?”

Azriel gritted his teeth. “I’ve always cared.”

Eris snorted. “No, not truly. If you had, then we wouldn’t be having this meeting. Because you’d have done something by now and grown a spine.”

“Your brother said the same thing.” The spymaster growled, already irked by having to negotiate with the Autumn prince. “I don’t need more reminding that I’ve fucked up, Eris. I just want to save her life, and I can’t do that on my own.”

“And it’s taken you this long to come to this realisation because…” Eris raised an eyebrow, amber gaze merciless. His dragon snarled, baring its teeth menacingly.

“I didn’t know Rhys would take things this far. I thought he’d want to find out everything about the bond before he made a decision on what to do with her. But he doesn’t want to wait, he wants her gone by tomorrow.”

“I assume he ordered you to do the deed?”

Azriel nodded, throat tight. “Yes. He ordered me to collect all information on the magic they used to create the bond before I…. before I kill her. Regardless of whether I came up with anything, he wants her eliminated by sunrise.”

This was probably the stupidest, craziest decision Azriel had ever made. Part of it felt wrong, betraying his found family after 500 years of peace. But when he reflected on those centuries, had he truly been happy? Had he truly felt like he was living a fulfilled life, content with what he was doing? A few weeks ago, Azriel would have been sure of his answer. Now he wasn’t, and that unsettled him.

Regardless, reached into his bag and pulled out the books Gwyn gave him. He took a breath and continued. “Which is why I brought every document the Night Court has on this magic to you. So Rhys wouldn’t get his hands on it.”

“You went to Gwyn?” Nesta burst out, rage dripping from her tongue.

“Yes.” Azriel admitted his guilt for putting Gwyn in this precarious position intensifying.

“You put her in danger by doing that!” The eldest Archeron hissed at him, her dragon responding in a similar tone. “If anything happens to her because of it, I will slaughter you, Azriel.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Gwyn said the same thing to me about you and (Y/N). I swore no matter what happened, nobody would find out I got this through her. She even put a knife to my throat.”

Eris spoke up again. “As much as I would truly love to believe you, if I recall correctly you were perfectly content sending (Y/N) to certain death weeks ago on an impossible mission under Rhysand’s orders.”

“I was trying to find a way out of it for her!” Azriel yelled, patience snapping. “A way for her to quietly flee and go build a life for herself far away from all this shit. I never told her because I didn’t want to scare her, or get her hopes up. I had the chance to explain this to her before…”

His voice trailed off, memories of seeing you strung up like an animal flashing through his mind. Azriel was no stranger to self hatred, but today it was striking him now more than ever.

Nesta’s lethal tone interrupted his thoughts. “Before what?” She demanded.

Azriel gulped, praying that the dragons wouldn’t make him their meal. “Before Rhysand interrupted and… took over.”

“Meaning?” Eris inquired, his dragon inching ever so slightly closer to the Illyrian.

“Meaning he thought I was being too soft, since I gave her water. He stopped the physical torture and spent hours trying to get inside her head until she passed out.”

“And he didn’t manage to do it?” Eris’ voice was laced with surprise, something uncharacteristic for the Autumn prince who always seemed to be two steps ahead of everyone.

“No.”

Eris and Nesta glanced at each other, unreadable expressions crossing their faces. Their dragons continued to stare down Azriel, awaiting whatever command would give them permission to incinerate him where he stood. He had a million questions for them – how the fuck did Eris have dragons? What did Beron say about all of this? Did they still plan on taking him out? But Azriel knew better than to ask them.

Nesta swung her legs to the side and crawled down the dragon’s side. To Azriel’s awe, the beast lowered its shoulder to the ground to make it easier for the female to climb off. Gracefully, Nesta’s feet met the ground and she patted the dragon’s neck. He remained frozen in his place as she stalked towards him. Like Gwyn, there was a new strength to her. This was not the half-starved Nesta who first came to the House of Wind. No, this was the female that stole from the Cauldron itself, whose name was whispered across the moors and valleys of Prythian, associated with pure death and power. Nesta’s steps were sure, silver fire expertly curling around her fingertips like Azriel’s own shadows as she stalked towards him like a lioness seizing up its prey.

“My war is not directly with you, Azriel,” Nesta said slowly. “But make no mistake. You are not innocent here. You may not have inflicted the most damage, but you willingly stood by and let your family tear me and (Y/N) down until they got pure submission. You let Cassian mock and belittle me at my lowest. You forced (Y/M)  into a job she did not want to do. You let Cassian force me to train as a warrior when that’s not at all what I wanted or needed. You didn’t do a damn thing to advocate for either of us because you’re so blinded by the sheltered little tower your circle has built over the last 500 years, ignorant to the pain you inflict on anyone who’s not a part of your family. You coming here on your own volition is the only thing in my eyes that could possibly redeem you. You will help us get (Y/N) back at all costs, or you will suffer at my hand more than you have ever suffered before.”

Being threatened for the third time that day, all Azriel could do was bow his head. “I understand.” He said.

“No, I don’t think you do.” Nesta hissed. “For your sake, let’s hope your change of heart isn’t too late.”

Azriel hadn’t even noticed Eris had climbed off his dragon and was walking towards Nesta. He stood beside her, gently resting a hand on her waist. Azriel tensed, half expecting Nesta to slap him away, but she did not. To his surprise, she looked comfortable with Eris. More so than she ever had been with Cassain. When Cassian touched Nesta, there was always some sexual suggestion beneath it. But not with Eris. Eris’ touch was comfort more than ownership, something Azriel did not expect.

In his heart, he realised Cassian and Nesta were not right for each other. It made no sense for them to be mates, and whatever they had going on was purely surface level sexual tension. There was nothing deep about it, no greater understanding of each other. Nesta and Eris seemed like a much more reasonable match, mirroring each other like they did with their dragons. As much as Azriel hated the male, and knew that these thoughts would crush Cassian’s heart, it reassured him that he had made the right choice.

“So, spymaster,” Eris piped up, cocking his head. “How are we doing to do this?”

And so Azriel began explaining.

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful  @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @littlebbb @piceous21 @sevendeadlyshins-blog @searchingford  @marigold-morelli @thesapphiclibrarian @

[fieryjeannearchives]

🃏: Senku-chan, we’re good friends, aren’t we?

🧪: Why are you getting gross all of a sudden?

🃏: So ean-may! I just wanted to ask you for a favor.

🧪: Pff, should have started with that. What do you want me to re-invent this time? Mirinda?

🃏: No, no… It’s about helping me out rather than re-inventing something.

🧪: Okay? So, what is it? Stop beating around the bush and—

🃏: Can you help me choose my fiancée?

🧪: Hah?! Mentalist, I’m a scientist, not a matchmaker.

🃏: I know, I know! It’s just… I got all these requests and I don’t know who to pick! I’d usually go with the prettier one and call it a day but at this point, I really want to settle down, you know? So~, who better than my favorite scientist to help me sort this out?

🧪: You’re insane, ask someone else.

🃏: But Senku-chan! You know I would help you out with it if our roles were reversed.

🧪: That’s completely different. First of all, I have no intention of choosing a fiancée and secondly, if for whatever reason I ever did, I would only ask for your advice because you’re a mentalist… That’s kind of /your/ thing!

🃏: I’m not just asking you this as a scientist, although I’m hoping you have some sciencey way to help me, I’m asking you this as a friend. This is important to me.

🧪: Tsk, you have lots of other friends. Ask Ukyo, for example. I bet he would be much happier to help.

🃏: I did, but I want your opinion as well.

🧪: Fine… Did you print their profiles or…?

🃏, taking out the copies from his bag: Yup~! I wrote down my notes from our interviews along with their basic information. No pictures though, not that you would care about that anyway~.

🧪, taking them and starting to read them: No, not really. Okay, these three, out.

🃏: So fast!

🧪: I don’t want to waste more time than the necessary on this.

🃏: At least read them first!

🧪: I did! This one comes from a rich family, which might be something that interests a superficial man like you, but she’s too greedy. You will probably end up with a headache from dealing with her constant demands for more. Then this one has a similar background to yours, being a former celebrity and all that, but I think you’d be better off with someone with more contact with the real world.

🃏: The entertainment industry /is/ part of the real world.

🧪: You know what I meant by that. You need someone more grounded… Like this one, who is a lot more calm and mature than the other two. However, she seems a better fit for a friend than a wife. Even in your description, you don’t sound attracted to her at all.

🃏: I could… eventually—

🧪: Or you could waste both of your time.

🧪, taking another profile from the pile: Alright, this one is too impulsive, will also tire you out, and with this one, it sounds like you’re babysitting rather than dating.

🃏: Now you’re just being mean.

🧪: Hey, you asked for my help. Now zip it.

🧪, continues to discard profiles until there’s only one left: In theory, she would be the best option. You both have a fair amount of things in common to bond over, but she has strengths in what you lack, and vice versa.

🃏: Sounds promising~.

🧪: But! She’s either a liar or you made her up. I would have known if there was a scientist with her qualifications… Could have really helped us out at the main lab.

🃏: Maybe she was just recently unpetrified.

🧪: Doubt it.

🃏: Well… Whatever the case might be, if she made it this far, she might still be worth checking out. Who better than a liar for another liar~?

🧪: That’s stupid.

🃏: Well, if you have any better ideas, then I’m all ears, Senku-chan.

🧪: Ugh… if you are that desperate to get married, then fine. I’ll do it.

🃏: Very funny.

🧪: I’m serious. Compared to the other candidates you brought, I’m a much better option.

🃏: Except for the fact that I want an actual marriage, not just signing up some papers and then continuing acting the same as always.

🧪: Yeah, I know. We can definitely do that.

🃏: Wouldn’t that be a lot of wasted time for you though?

🧪: I already choose to spend most of my free time with you anyway. If you think about it, the only thing that would change is how we spend it.

🃏: And you would be fine with that?

🧪, staring at 🃏as if he was an idiot: I wouldn’t be offering it otherwise.

🧪: Anyway— [breaks the pages and throws them to the trash bin]

🃏, scandalized: Senku-chan!!

🧪: What? Haven’t we settled this already?

🃏: But that has to be the worst wedding proposal ever!

🧪: As you didn’t planned this from the beginning.

🧪: They were all made up, weren’t they?

🃏: Maybe~. Honestly, I was surprised when you ended up choosing the one based on you.

🧪: Ah, that makes sense— Wait, who were the others?

🃏: Nobody you need to worry about~.

🧪: 🙂

[voskhodart]

Hey, do you want to learn how to play VHS tapes in the year 202X?

I know this is my art blog, but it has come to my attention that some of you are too young to have experienced the joys of the Video Home System in its prime. Come hither so I can teach you and we can embrace the beauty of physical media together. If you have a thrift store and a TV, this process should work for you.

Step 1: Get a VCR ($4-$15)

DO NOT BUY EXPENSIVE VCR/COMBO SETS FROM THE INTERNET!

The ones you find on sites like eBay and Etsy are insanely overpriced and might not even work. Instead, find a Goodwill, Savers, or independent thrift store near you and go to the electronics section. There’s a good chance they’ll have at least one VCR. If they don’t, try a different shop. You can also check local online marketplaces, yard sales, etc.

Good things to look for:

4 (or more) Heads — Heads are the things that actually read the tape. The more heads you have, the better your picture is going to be.

Auto Tracking — Poor tracking can create a rolling picture, which is a pain to fix. An auto tracking VCR does that work for you.

Pre-2000 — After 2000, electronics started being mass produced with plastic casings and cheap parts. VCRs made after this time are a whole lot easier to break. Ideally, you want something from the late 80s to mid 90s.

Well-known brands — Sony, Toshiba, etc. Japanese manufacturers tend to have the best quality. Early Emersons are nice too.

Generally good condition — If there’s a bullet hole in the case, it’s probably best to pass on. A bit of dust isn’t an issue, but major damage isn’t a good sign. If you can, plug the machine into a power outlet in the store and see if it even turns on.

Head cleaning indicator — Not something you *need*, but I find it nice to have. You’ll want to use a head cleaning tape when the indicator starts flashing.

This is the one I’ll be using for the sake of this guide. This is an old Emerson that I picked up from Goodwill for $7.95. (Notice the five price tags they slapped on top.)

Step 2: Get Some Tapes (¢10-$1)

This is the fun part. Almost every thrift store will have some VHS tapes, usually near the books/DVDs/records. I’ve seen them as expensive as a dollar, but some stores will just give them away for free. I suggest buying a few movies you like, plus one or two shitty tapes to test out your VCR with.

You may also find 20 different copies of Titanic in every store. This is a normal occurance.

Remember to check the condition of any tape you plan on putting in your machine. If the spool looks moldy, you *can* try to clean it, but you’ll need another VCR to do so. If the tape looks wrinkled or otherwise damaged, you can still probably play it, but it will look and sound a lot rougher than you should expect. If the casing is damaged, I wouldn’t risk trying to put it in your VCR at all.

Remember: VHS tapes stopped being produced commercially in 2006. Most tapes you find aren’t going to be in the best shape, because they’re all a few decades old. (Sometimes, though, you will come across a tape with an excellent picture, good sound quality, and subtitles! The Mummy tape that I own is near perfect.)

Step 3: Connecting the VCR to Your TV

For this step, you’re going to want a coaxial cable and a set of RCA cables (the red, yellow, and white ones). If your TV doesn’t have an RCA input, you’ll also need an RCA-to-HDMI converter. If your TV also doesn’t have an HDMI input for whatever reason, you’re shit out of luck.

You’ll plug these cables into the “out” or “out to tv” connection on your VCR, then plug the other end into the back of your TV.

Note: Not all VCRs have right audio (the red one)! That’s fine. Just leave it hanging free. The left audio (white) is your mono audio, so you’ll just have that instead.

Lastly, put the channel switch on the back of your VCR on 3 or 4. I keep mine on 3. This is the number for the channel you’ll go to on your TV to actually see what the VCR is playing.

Step 4: Setting up the TV

I use a little Roku TV, which is surprisingly steady to set up for VCR input:

Settings ➡️ TV Inputs ➡️ Live TV

From here, you’ll either be prompted to scan for channels OR you’ll have to select “scan for antenna channels”. It will ask you if you want to have channels 3 and 4, to which you’ll say “yeah, I do want channels 3 and 4” and click the button that lets you have channels 3 and 4. If you don’t have an antenna, you can skip the other prompts.

I haven’t done this on any other type of TV, but the process should be pretty similar: get yourself to channels 3 and 4 through whatever means necessary.

Once you’re there, it should look like this. Sad, blank, and lonely. But not for long.

Step 5: Playing Your Tapes

This is where things can go really really well or really really wrong. If everything is hooked up, you can grab your shitty tape and insert it into the VCR.

(Make sure there isn’t anything else in there first, though. Some people don’t remove their precious Titanic copies before donating these things.)

You’ll want a tape that’s fairly clean, with no casing damage, and already rewound (black tape in the left window). To insert the tape into a front-loading VCR, slowly and firmly slide it into the slot. Once it’s most of the way in, the machine should “grab” it and pull it all the way inside. You’ll hear the machine make some noises.

(If those noises are really crunchy, that’s probably not a good thing. Troubleshoot with your favorite search engine or head over to r/VHS to see if anyone can help you.)

Once your machine is only making some clunky whirring sounds, it should be safe to press the play button. Enjoy watching your favorite films in the least pleasant format possible. Don’t forget to rewind em when you’re done.

If you have issues, the freaks over at r/VHS tend to be really helpful, but you can also find decade-old YouTube videos that might answer your questions too.

[aerkame]

Any advice on how to break out of an insane long art/writing block? My minds been going crazy with ideas, yet my hands say “Nope! lol!” Mode for some time.

I absolutely hate art blocks they're the worst. I've had some that lasted for months on end, sometimes a whole year so I'll give what advice I can to help you break out of this funk. 👍

Important bits are highlighted.

I suggest changing up your drawing environment for a bit, declutter anything on your desk or drawing spot, clean anything that could be in the way. Sometimes a change in your environment can help you feel less stressed. Cluttered spaces can change how we behave and it can also mess up our thinking process without us even noticing it so give that a try. (This applies to studying and doing homework as well!)

If you can, go to a new location and just try relaxing. Try going to a park, a colorful part of a city, a zoo you never went to, or even just walk around a neighborhood. This works similar to the above advice with changing your environment.

Write down the drawing idea you had for later and sketch something else lazily, do not put effort into the sketch, just feel and do whatever. After that, practice SKETCHING (sketching, not drawing, this does not need to be perfect or a masterpiece or a final product of sorts) parts of your desired drawing idea. Do this until you feel yourself being more comfortable.

RELAX! A lot of times when I start to feel an art block coming on mid-drawing, I notice my hand and face is not relaxed. If you feel yourself gripping a pencil/pen hard when drawing, take deep breaths in and out and relax. Drawing with your hands gripped is a sign of stress and art should be relaxing, not a stressful chore.

This follows up on number 4. Try lightly exercising. And I emphasize lightly. Especially if you are not someone who regularly exercises (remember to stretch before). Do something to get your heart going just a little bit. Sometimes doing this helps relives stress you may not be aware of and it also makes you feel more loose and energetic afterwards. This is because your body will release endorphins (the hormones that make you happy) into the body after exercising. Along that, make sure you're hydrated. No really, drink water.

SLEEP WELL! Make sure you are taking care of your body by getting enough sleep.

Draw out of your comfort zone. Try to start practicing on drawing things you are not usually used to drawing. Your Kryptonite basically. Personally, my kryptonite is cars and mechanical things.

That's all I can think of for now. If I think of more, I will reblog this with the attached new list.

You may or may not be confused on why I am focusing so much on the body and not actual drawing part itself. The thing is, art block is both a mental thing and physical thing that results from stress, exhaustion, or other factors you may not be aware of that can be helped (usually). An example? When I'm busy with college or when I had my first job last year I was so stressed out that the very idea of getting out my graphics tablet and drawing made me feel like I didn't want to draw anymore. I lost interest in doing something I really like. The same happened when I was in a STEM high school. I was too stressed out to pick up a pencil and draw.

You need to make sure your brain is stimulated and relaxed before you draw and after you draw and that can be done through exercise, new changes to the environment, or simply just trying new things with art. Your brain is in charge of so many things and that includes how you're feeling, so do what you can to take care of it.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Find the word tag

Thanks @verba-writing for the tag!

My words: breath, wild, fall

Your words: arm, subject, learn, incapable

Tagging @dyrewrites @little-peril-stories @andyswritings @blind-the-winds @mrbexwrites @eccaiia @mk-writes-stuff @poethill @theeccentricraven @jessicagailwrites @gottestod-writes @cowboybrunch @sleepywriter00 @buffythevampirelover @little-mouse-gardens @theknightswhosay @pk-writes @herrmannhalsteadproduction @infinnative or anyone who wants to hop on!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @fairy-tales-of-yesterday who can also join in if you want :)

Keep reading for:

Lexi looks for Ash and has a near-panic attack (CW: near panic attack)

Lexi knows everything about everyone apparently

Tierney gets his letter!

Breath - from The Secret Portal Part One (Lexi POV)

The forest was dense and vast—she could theoretically be anywhere. Clues. Maybe there would be a sign of the direction she went. I looked down to see if there were any imprints where she may have stepped. Most of the ground appeared untouched, but my eyes rested on a patch of flattened red ferns a few yards away. I ran toward them, then kept looking at the forest floor. The colorful leaves covering the ground appeared crunched, like someone had staggered through them shortly before I arrived. I followed the path they appeared to make. “Ash!” I called, hoping I was closer. Still, there was nothing. I stopped at a patch of purple flowers. There were clumps of them similar scattered here and there, but these were as flattened as the ferns. I knelt down beside them. A black object settled beneath the flowers caught my eye, and I picked it up. I gasped—one of Ash’s rings. “Ash!” I called again as I stood. “ASH!” She had to be close. I looked back down at the crushed blossoms. It was like she’d collapsed in them. My breath caught in my chest. “ASH!” My breathing picked up. “ASH!” What if she didn’t hear me? If she was unconscious somewhere…. I tried calling her name again, but it was caught in my throat by a sudden sob. My hand enclosed the ring until it dug into my fingers. My legs felt weak and I found myself kneeling on the forest floor as tears streamed down my cheeks. I hit my thigh with my fist that enclosed the ring, scolding myself and my stupid anxiety for making me lose my focus after one setback. “She wasn’t here,” I told myself, pulling on my braids. “That means she had to stand up and walk away to somewhere else.” I closed my eyes, taking a shaky breath, and almost willed Ash to speak up—let me know where she was. “Lexi!”

Wild - from The Secret Portal Part Two (Lexi POV)

Ash and Gwen came from band and arrived together every day, and it didn’t seem too different. Ash sat beside me as usual, and Gwen in front of me. We usually talked for the whole thirty minutes about various things: class, Gwen’s relationship with Akash, or whatever had happened during the weekend in Alium. But today, several minutes in, we hadn’t really said a word to each other. I didn’t have to be a telepath to figure out why. Beside me, Ash had her eyes glued to her food. The silence was driving me insane. My knee bounced in anticipation. “So how’s band going?” I blurted out. “It’s fine,” Ash said. “We’re almost ready for our winter concert,” Gwen said, pulling me out of my misery. “Oh! That’s Thursday, right?” “Next Thursday,” Gwen clarified. “Our orchestra concert is next Friday,” I added on. “Maddie’s choir concert is next Saturday, the twenty-first. So we’ll show up in Alium that Sunday morning. That weekend is going to be wild. Jazlyn and Wade both have a football game on Friday, and Ewan and Hye-Jin have concerts Saturday. I think Parker may be going to Wade’s game and Ewan and Jazlyn to each other’s activities. And Robbie has a winter play next week Thursday through Saturday. So next weekend will be vacant until Sunday.” “How do you know what everyone’s doing?” Ash asked, finally saying something and looking up from her largely untouched food. I blinked. “I dunno. I just remembered everyone talking about it.” “What else do you know, their birthdays?” “Yeah,” I said.

I can tell I haven't revised this yet. Lexi would be tugging her hair, not bouncing her knee. And she wouldn't say Ash's eyes are glued to her food - just focused on them. Her voice is just slightly off.

Fall - from School of the Legends Year One

Tierney unfolded it and began to read aloud, “Prince Tierney Wayne, We are pleased to congratulate you on your qualification for Madame Goossens’ School for the Gifted, Majicked, and Cursed in the United States of America.” “What?” his father asked. A pattering of feet from above indicated all of Tierney’s siblings racing down the stairs. “Keep reading!” “This international school is for teens with unusual abilities, and we wish to provide an environment that is better suited for you, as well as teaching you control and opening greater opportunities for your future.” “What does that mean?” Damari asked as everyone was now in the Hall. Tierney shrugged and just continued. “All of your credits will be transferred, and we hope to hear back from you soon with an acceptance letter. There is more information on the back of the letter. We hope to see you around our campus.” “Well, what’s the information on the back of the letter?” his father demanded. Tierney, confused as ever, flipped the paper over. “Um, so this school is for the, uh, gifted, majicked, and cursed.” “That was established in the school’s name,” said the king. “I apparently fall into the ‘gifted’ category.” “Gifted!” the king boomed, his voice echoing off the majestic walls. “That letter claims you--my son!--to be one of those mutants?” “You’re a gifted!” Ritchie said, almost too excited. With a glare from their father, he put on a more neutral demeanor. “So, does it say what your gift is?” Tierney scanned the paper. “Uh, ‘qualification: electric-based powers.’” “Electric?” Damari repeated. “Well that explains the constant shock,” said Ritchie. “And the thunderstorm fetish.” “Jarred!” their mother scolded. “What?”

[jeanmoreaux]

literally yes to all i could not fall asleep either 😭

i think what's so bRILLIANT about tsc (besides, like, everything) is that nora seemed really nervous that her vision for the story and characters would get swallowed by the HCs the fans have been cooking for years, and while that still could happen in book 2, i felt like while i was reading it her vision was my vision - like i am positive we as fans have influenced her story and maybe jerejean won't turn into anything (i'll eat my arm fr) but that bitch at the very least was like "okay sure fine i'll give you mutual attraction" "i'll give you jerejean friendship and intimacy even if i may not give you sex or romance (just yet)"

and i think the other thing i was so overjoyed about was that even though the og AFTG is definitely (clearly) very queer, nora really stepped up and took it to a whole new level in this one with both the representation and just the overall tone - that like not only are a lot (all????) of the trojans open and together and so incredibly gay, but they're shaping the story and jean and making it less shameful to be gay in exy. like og aftg spent a lot of time being like "don't be gay! this is bad! you can't do this!" and while jean still harbors that (for his own fucked up reasons i'm gonna kms) it's obvious that the tone for this book is so much brighter and gayer.

and! the parallels between neil's story and jean's!!! like obviously we could write essays on that topic alone but in conjunction with that point i just made - seeing the similarities between the house taking in jean and the foxes taking in neil (his lack of possessions, their protectiveness, their attempts to normalize him, their creation of a safe space for him) literally made me want to gouge my eyes out it was so beautiful and sweet and fun and QUEER. like aftg always had aroace undertones and such a huge part of the aro/ace experience is friendship and queer friendship at that and so to get to see this kind of found family play out AGAIN but in a slightly different way with a whole group of gays who are out and proud and happy is just......everything

like it's not that i was *worried* persay because i do trust nora but you never know what you're gonna get with spin-off sequels and this fandom is like a rabid dog and so for her to bravely return to this world after years is amazing in itself but to do it in a way that is.......dare i say.......almost......better than the original.......it blows my mind. and it makes me appreciate the original series in new ways now that we'll have more info on the ravens and all of their bullshit. like i literally am sitting here being like....so....series reread tn queen????

if i wasn't insane before (i was) then i sure as hell am now

~

also. can we talk about jeremy's cheesy af dialogue that makes me squeal? thinking about him saying hecka with his full chest....i love that man

holding hands 🤝✨ felt alive yet so dead once i was done.

also what a glorious ask. i can co-sign all of this and i don’t think i have anything to say that adds value to your points. you’re so right.

nora is so brave for letting us back into that world. because as much as i love and adore this fandom’s passion, it can be intense is a quite negative way at times. so yes, nothing but respect for nora coming back and giving us Her version of the story. the small nods to us (blond jeremy, frosted tips, the cardboard dog etc.) were so very endearing. and i don’t want her to betray her integrity just for the sake of fanservice. i trust her to deliver a great story, even when some of the things i might want to happen will not end up being anything (e.g. jerejean). nora’s vision will feel right because whatever she decides to do and wherever she decides to take this story i know will make sense. it’s very funny to me that you mentioned how you think tsc might be better than the original because i had the same thought. i am hesitant to really settle on it one way or the other yet; mainly because i tend to get very excited about new, shiny things, but also because we don’t have book 2 yet and i think to really Know i have to consider the story as a whole. but you can definitely see that nora improved as a writer in general (which ofc makes sense.)

i fear this will remain THEE aftg year for me. i am already tempted to reread. i don’t think i’ll know a moment of peace from this story in the foreseeable future but i am not gonna complain i’ll just lean into it and indulge.

~

godddd i expected to love jeremy but i didn’t expect to fall for him this hard. several time i caught myself studying his way of engaging with people and made some mental notes. he’s so special to me. i think once we get his backstory it will get even worse. and he does offer a very different perspective and attitude that’s so very refreshing while still being in tune with what we are used to.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ OXVENTURE PRESENTS: DEADLANDS / ch7 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'you've got... whatever you've got going on.'

'i, uh, died. in a duel.'

'essentially, i am no longer living, i am powered by an evil spirit.'

'to all intents and purposes, i am dead.'

'that is a detailed and unsettling explanation.'

'it's no compensation for losing your bean appetite.'

'food has no savour for me and i can't get drunk.'

'i fired bullets into the back of her head and it was all fine after that.'

'the hypocrisy of it is what stings most of all well— the murders...'

'he's only seen it written down.'

'tremendous! i need to freshen up.'

'i find it makes me more pleasant to be around.'

'murder has more of a burning, hole through the chest sensation than a sting, but...'

'i would like to buy an astonishing amount of booze, please.'

'you're going to be so flammable.'

'she mentioned that you might be by. she didn't mention the smell.'

'TNT? can we have TNT?'

'use the time you have with the ones you love.'

'even if it smells bad, it's better than looking at the horses.'

'and i shouted at those children so much, that's how i got the nickname 'old yeller'.'

'can i see some... badge?'

'how am i supposed to make peace if i don't have my peacemaker?!'

'i was just on my way back from the well...'

'not everyone has to drink alcohol.'

'how would you imbibe... liquid... that is not alcohol.'

'i'm sorry, i simply stopped paying attention.'

'how'd you lose your nose, friend?'

'i've never lived anywhere so wonderful!'

'honest men have nothing to fear from the law.'

'i wouldn't go near a horses hooves.'

'i'm going to regret asking this, i feel, but...'

'you can't hang a man for having a drink!'

'should we ask them politely not to?'

'it's not a crime to ask!'

'it may be a crime to ask.'

'if we hang him now, he'll never do it again.'

'let's call them 'health complications'.'

'they can't kill you if you're already dead. it's double jeopardy.'

'first of all, heck. and furthermore, dang. and, uh, uh... ninny!'

'how many colours are in that waistcoat, ma'am?'

'that horse must be at least life sized.'

'i mean, unless you have a three foot neck.'

'i plead insanity.'

'ignorance of the law is no defence!'

'we also interrupted a hanging.'

'yeah, we aided and abetted.'

'you seem very stressed, can i offer you some corn whiskey?'

'you've really dropped the ball, here.'

'oh, no, oh no... mum said it was gonna be like this...'

'how long until you fall foul of the law?'

'if you cut off the head of the snake, it tends to be fatal for the whole thing, being as it is part of the whole thing...'

'i don't know, i've never learned my words!'

'you will not turn my couthouse into a house of cussing!'

'you came in, sir, and said 'butts'.'

'you're putting the spark to the fuse, you're really starting to piss me off...'

'one rule for him, one rule for the rest of us...'

'speaking spanish is now illegal!'

'my understanding is that he was dressed far fancier than me.'

'you look just like someone wanted for graverobbing.'

'what are you, old man?!'

'is this really necessary?'

'here we go again, i suppose.'

'he can't be killed! it's a sign!'

'why is this man not dead?!'

'is sharp rope a thing? well sharpen it!'

'a bad workman always blames his tools.'

'i'll blame you, you tool!'

[venus-is-thinking]

Roman Numeral I and Footnote 14

Okay, so I was reading some posts by 1moreff-creator on the Literature Girl Insane MV (this one on the roman numerals and this one on the footnotes).

Specifically, I was looking at Footnote 14 and Roman Numeral I. Let's start with Footnote 14.

I didn't initially notice this one because it's so faint, but Footnote 14 appears at 3:52. Behind the text (the world of abnormal sentiment dances), there's a faint equals sign, and a footnote in the top right corner of that.

Footnote 14 is as follows:

[14] Hint: word length of 256 

I had no idea what this meant, but a helpful anon told me it was Hamlet's soliloquy. After some unfortunate luck I got confused, seeing as Hamlet has 7 soliloquies and, based on the sources I looked at, none of them had exactly 256 words.

With the help of fuji-iri, though, the identity of the soliloquy was found! It's the most famous one: the "to be or not to be" speech. I'll link it here.

So, that's the identity of Footnote 14! The hint is telling us it's Hamlet's main soliloquy. Not too surprising considering there's, like, seven or something other references to Hamlet in this MV.

But, how does that connect to Roman Numeral I?

Well, I want to look at where Footnote 14 appears again. I'm going to show a few screenshots that happen all in a row.

Putting these together, you get I, then a bunch of numbers & a bunch more numbers = ?????.

Now, I'm not even going to try with the number scramble. I already know from the password thing that I'm completely useless at these number cipher type things. I'm just going to ignore those, the & sign and the question marks. Hopefully whatever it says/means doesn't completely invalidate my actual theory. My best guess is that there are two different puzzles here, and the numbers and & sign are a puzzle separate from what I'm solving.

Anyways, that leaves only two parts of it: the I and the =.

As 1moreff-creator points out in their roman numerals post, while the I here looks most like the roman numeral 1, which correlates to Xander, pairing him with (the world of abnormal sentiment dances) doesn't... make sense? Like, it doesn't feel like it means anything for his character.

However, if you ignore the number scrambles, you end up with something interesting.

I = 14.

What if Xander's roman numeral is being used to say that he corresponds to footnote 14?

It's not completely unprecedented for the footnotes to interact with the numerals. For example, Min's roman numeral X, or 10, appears in the form of a bloody X, like we see on the class trial portraits. However, there's a footnote in the top right, footnote 10, which tells us that roman numeral X is 10. This confirms that this is her number. Footnotes 6 and 17 are also found here, which further proves that it's possible for footnotes and numerals to interact.

So, this is very interesting. Let's consider that Xander's roman numeral connects him to Footnote 14, which, as we've established, is Hamlet's "to be or not to be" soliloquy.

Uh, content warning for suicide in this next bit.

This soliloquy is about considering suicide; to "be" is to live, and "not to be" is to die. I don't get the sense that Xander is particularly suicidal, but it's also true that he does clearly struggle with the weight of what's happened in his life. His secret quote is the literal definition of survivor's guilt, and in the second bonus episode "Visiting Graves," he clearly holds a lot of regret.

As we see here, Xander isn't particularly suicidal, but he clearly isn't, uh... mentally well? If his death is just "another pitiful waste of a human life" to him rather than, like, being important because it's his life, it's not a great sign. Plus, "Unnamed Classmate" (who is almost certainly Mai Akasaki), who knows Xander much better than we do, seems to think it's plausible that Xander would say that he wished he died there, so that's not great.

Plus, there's a line in the soliloquy about "the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks," which I think is funny considering he died via electrocution.

In any case, there's one more thing I want to point out regarding this.

Like I mentioned, there are several references to Hamlet throughout this MV. Notably, this exact soliloquy appears somewhere else in the MV.

The previous screen says to be, and the next screen says not to be. However, I've chosen the "or" screen for one very specific reason.

XIII. Teruko.

Yeah. If I'm right about this, that means that both Teruko and Xander's roman numerals are the to be or not to be speech.

Other than linking the two of them together again, I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I thought I'd point it out. It's a very interesting connection to give the two of them, as our early protagonist/support combo.

[roseunspindle]

MHA kinda shigadeku?

- Shigaraki is emotionally stunted (purposefully so my all for one) and so his first real crush was always going to be...odd.  Naturally it's the green haired kid from the USJ. He got close, he knocked off "father", he cares for all might... (he has pretty big green eyes)

- Shigaraki only meant to get one picture of the green kid...only he ended up spiraling and he may have... a few more (he doesn't know why, maybe he needs to increase his hate! that's it...)

- Kurogiri may actually be sick of the sports festival by now, all Tomura has done is watch and re-watch nearly every moment. (Sometimes zooming in until the image is almost uselessly grainy)

- there may be a small part of Tomura, a part with a different name, that sees the look of relaxed relief on the Todoroki boys face, whatever Izuku said, and wonders, maybe even hopes, could Izuku say something to him that would unknot his very being? (That part is hidden beneath layers of pain and severed hands)

- the fight with stain in the bar is ridiculous already but Tomura and stain going on about "Izuku is a true hero" "only all might is a true hero!"

- Izuku has no idea why Stain says "ah, you must be Shigaraki's Hero" in a thoughtful tone of voice.

- there is no multiple Nomu, just one that may, may be luring Izuku to stain and to rescuing Tenya because maybe, possibly Shigaraki doesn’t want Izuku to be sad if his friend dies. 

- the Nomu is weirdly gentle when it tries to scoop Izuku up, and he almost feels bad that stain kills it. Stain declaring on tv that he acknowledges all might and "this boy that Shigaraki Tomura showed me was a also true hero" is just weird. Since when did Shigaraki think about him?

- all for one is...concerned... Tomura's obsession with Izuku could be a problem

- the mall incident happens almost the same, though Shigaraki doesn't put his hand on Izuku's throat (he knows it would be useless already he's never drop that finger) just an arm around his shoulders.

- the talk also is slightly different... he does still ask why everyone talks about stain so much and not him, but he also asks "what did you say to the Todoroki boy and why" some of Todoroki's story comes out because of that and Izuku isn't quite as frightened as Tomura isn't as unstable seeming more, he seems lost... and Izuku is also thinking about what stain kept saying, so he's more trying to figure out Shigaraki rather than fearing for his life

- Shigaraki lets more information about all for one "sensei" fall from his lips this time, accidentally or maybe, maybe deep down on purpose.  and there is a brief discussion on why Izuku loves all might and Shigaraki hates him...

- Shigraki has ideas when he leaves, but more confusion and no clear plan because, endeavor is bad really and all might, Izuku says all might is good and all might is Izuku's sensei and... (also he needs to get green apple shampoo, Izuku's hair smelled like that and it was...nice)

- Izuku does not know what to think (also he actually ended up signing a screenshot from the sports festival for Shigaraki)

- Dabi doesn't know what to do when he finds out that their first "target" is going to be endeavor... or that the reason is that he's an abusive asshole, and he's a very good example Shigaraki says of what is actually wrong with hero society.

- Himiko really wants to meet All Might and Deku, they are important to Mr. Stainy and Shiggy...

- there is no attack on the summer training camp, instead all of endeavor's dirty laundry (courtesy of Dabi, a little bit of Izuku from what he said at the mall, and Natsuo (who is not over the fact that his big brother is alive)) incidentally he is now a member of the league of villains (they needed a slightly less insane medical professional) Natsuo insists on being a medical semi-professional but well, he’s what they have.  He does diagnose Himiko’s iron deficiency and help her even out her diet, so she isn’t quite as blood hungry. 

- Dabi's revelation to the world is different and has a lack of body count at this point.

- it's phase one of "change hero society" which might be not what all for one wanted at all Tomura is supposed to destabilize and destroy it... this is problematic.

- Tomura is uncertain, Sensei has always said whatever Tomura wanted was okay but now that Tomura has chosen a direction, sensei isn't he seems unhappy with Tomura's choice...

- Tomura knows hero society is corrupt, so does Izuku and yet, Izuku thinks it can be changed but he does agree something must be done about "heroes" and a world that lets endeavor whose problems extend far beyond family abuse, be the number 2 hero.

- the dorms had been a plan and with the uncertainty of letting Todoroki go back to his father’s house at all, and such, they are instigated,

- all might however, is still the number one hero.

- people's faith has been shaken in heroes in general but two of them are considered "good" All Might of course and Deku (the wild wild pussy cats had to really put Izuku through his paces as the need for him to get his license is paramount)

- Izuku ends up in a split work study between Nighteye and All Might, Nighteye is still angry, but All Might knows Izuku and when the boy comes back depressed too many times he storms the Nighteye agency, there is a lot of shouting and maybe some crying and ends with Nighteye offering a deep, deep apology to Izuku for taking out his anger at all might on the unsuspecting boy.

- Twice still tried to bring overhaul in, Big Sis Mag is still tragically lost and Compresses arm...

- Izuku receives a few "presents" in the form of information on the "eight bullets of the shie hassaikai" he shares this and well, it's pretty obvious the league is the source. (also a burner phone, and maybe he doesn't show anyone that, but he does start texting the single number in it) (well, until himiko finds out and adds her own shiggy doesn't get to hog Izuku!)

- All Might joins in the Shie Hissaikai raid, though the final take down is still Izuku's (all might receives a few to many blows from spikes to his torso but succeeds in protecting Mirai

- it's as he's running over to young Midoriya who has started screaming, the little girl on his back glowing, her face contorted in terror... the light hits him. (Maybe just maybe, Izuku didn't say anything, even though he saw all might run over, because All Might has been coughing more, he's been so, sad he's in so much pain)

- eraser manages to turn of Eri's quirk, and for those in the know it's nerve wracking, wondering is all might's emaciated body will be releveled.

- only it's not, it's his hero body well, a little smaller(he isn't tensed up),  and his face is shocked looking, not smiling, his hand pressed to his side.

- recovery girl confirms, all might has been rewound, and from what she can tell, he's about mid-twenties, the weirdest part, is Eri re-winds time itself, and all might in his mid-twenties had not given up on for all, but iIzuku still has it and well, he sees briefly in his sleep that night, a gentle glowing woman crying and she pets his hair "thankyou, thankyou"

- all might has many feelings, but it's possible right now his biggest joy is just taking deep breaths and enjoying them. (also he will be eating a burger later) his stomach is back! other things are important but he will focus on the little things now. (he may also be planning to take Izuku to like, disney world or something, also tag on the beach, he realizes that he's excited to live not just for the newfound stability of the symbol of peace, but maybe, maybe also for himself)

[slythindor100]

It’s that time again and it just wouldn't feel like December without all the wonderful fics and art from 25 Days of Draco and Harry. So, I, along with my co-mod, timothysboxers, are thrilled to announce that 25 Days of Draco and Harry will run again in 2022. And we're super thrilled to have all new banners, courtesy of @babooshkart on tumblr and babooshk_art on AO3. For those who may not be familiar with this challenge, I have included the rules at the end of this post, and we encourage you to read these.

And for the loyal fans of 25 Days of Harry and Draco: In 2022, we will be doing both Early-bird and Traditional prompts as usual. Again, we're running on LJ, DW and tumblr – the rules will be the same as last year. Because it seemed to work out quite well last year, the Early-bird Prompts will once again be available in late October, and we will be including the Image Descriptions along with the prompts. Early bird prompts will be available no later than Sunday, 23 October, allowing creators a full 5 weeks and some change to work on their posts. Also, we will have the Discord server specifically for 25 Days of Draco and Harry participants. Like last year, this will be a place where early bird participants can discuss (in a channel just for them) the prompts and how they might use them. Traditional participants will join the general section of the server in December. The 2022 rules at a glance, for those familiar with the concept: 25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022 - Traditional No changes from prior years. A photo prompt is posted starting at midnight EST Dec 1, and you create a work based on that prompt and post before the next day's prompt goes up. Each of your posts can be part of a larger work or they can stand alone. 25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022 - Early Bird You receive access to all 25 photo prompts no later than midnight (EST) Sunday, 23 October. This is the same time frame as last year. Hopefully this will give you time to prepare and create for 25 Days before the insanity of December starts. You will post one work per day for each prompt. This can be a stand-alone story or each day can be a part of a bigger story. We may even get a pod-fic this year of a past 25 Days fic and that would be posted a chapter a day. ♥ The advantages are this: 1) you can use the picture prompts in any order you chose 2) you can start creating early and have many of your posts ready to go before December 1st. 3) you get the prompts all at once so you can pre-plan your story or your use of each day's prompt. The basic rules of 25 Days of Draco and Harry – Traditional Edition: The challenge is to write a drabble, ficlet, story (whatever) for the pictures posted each day from 1 Dec to 25 Dec. Your fic for each prompt must be a minimum of 100 words – but there is no maximum. They can be twenty-five one-shots or each one can be a part of a bigger story. Pictures will be posted at midnight EST and you have until the next midnight to complete your work. Yes, you may combine this with other communities or tumblr prompts. Your fic does not have to be a story of the picture – you can use a part of the picture or whatever that picture says to you. We're pretty flexible around here. Traditional Prompts must be used in their posted order. If you fall behind, feel free to post a few day's worth to get caught up. You can also combine a few days or prompts into one fic/ficlet/drabble/etc. But the true challenge is to post every day for 25 days within the 24-hour time frame. You do not need to sign-up for the Traditional edition, the prompts will be made available from 1 December. While you're not required to, you are encouraged to add your story to the AO3 collection by adding "25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022" to your submissions, under collections, when you post them to your own AO3 account. A link to the collection will be provided in the official rules post after it has been created. The basic rules of 25 Days of Draco and Harry – Early-bird Edition: The sign-up period for Early Bird participants will be from 13 October to 20 October 2022 via AirTable. After signups close you will be given access to the 25 picture prompts no later than Sunday, 23 October. You may use these prompts in any order you choose – but each prompt may only be used once. The challenge remains to post a daily work from 1 Dec to 25 Dec using one of the provided prompts. Each should be posted between 12 midnight (EST) and 11:59 PM (EST) the next night. For written works, the minimum word count is 100. While you're not required to, you are encouraged to add your story to the AO3 collection by adding "25 Days of Draco and Harry 2022" to your submissions, under collections, when you post them to your own AO3 account. A link to the collection will be provided in the official rules post after it has been created. The early bird prompts and the traditional prompts do vary. Some may be used on both but mostly they are two distinct sets of prompts. If you have any questions, please email the 25 days mod account at potionsgod@gmail.com or DM one of the mods if you're on the Drarry Discord server. sassy_cissa and timothysboxers