#and it was all from mistakes I made early on and had way saved over them

[dearsnow]

YOUR REAL BOYFRIEND

- you go on your first date with your “bar boyfriend”, who seems a whole lot nicer than the guy that tried to pick you up earlier. (bob floyd x fem!reader, fluff <3, you don’t necessarily need to read part 1 but it provides some context)

PART 1

word count: 1,686

a/n - i did not expect part 1 to do so well, omg 🥹 thank you all for the love. if i had the writing stability I would’ve turned this into a series, but there is still time for that yet lol. enjoy this fluffy part 2 <3

You sit in your small apartment anxiously. Your first text to Bob has just gone through, and in the heat of the moment, you threw your phone across your bed and smothered it with a pillow. It was a simple thing, just saying “Hey! I’m Y/N from the bar :)”, and you really have nothing to be scared of, but your breaths are uncomfortably quick in the early morning. It’s like you just took a five mile run. You pick up the book on your bedside table and flip through a few pages, failing to read a single word.

You only put down your fruitless attempt at calming yourself down when your phone gives a muffled buzz from underneath your pillow. You grab it quickly, seeing his just-saved name flash across the screen.

Bob: Hello, Y/N from the bar! I was a bit worried you weren’t going to reach out, but I’m really glad you did.

You: Of course I reached out. You’re a nice guy, I would be stupid not to.

You internally groan before hitting send. He makes your insides turn to mush just by typing on a screen. At this point, you’re scared of professing your undying love.

He is a nice guy, and a polite guy, and honestly an everything-you-could-ever-want guy. You barely spent thirty minutes with the man and you already find yourself wanting to slip a ring on his finger. He’s different, a really good kind of different.

Bob: I’m flattered.

Bob: This might be too soon, but would you want to go out sometime? I know this nice place by the beach where we could get to know each other better.

You: I’d love to!! Lmk the details and I’ll be there <3

As you fling your phone across your bed again to kick your legs, you almost feel bad for it. The man of your dreams is asking you out, and you can’t physically handle the joy that’s pouring out of you right now. You can just imagine his quiet, smooth voice talking away while his eyes light up. When you get the date plan, you eagerly type it into your calendar.

Saturday, 5:30 PM, Ocean’s Cove Seafood and Bar. It’s perfect.

You don’t know how you can get through the rest of the week with the date looming in your mind, but, somehow, you’ll have to find a way to manage.

Your management ended up being text conversations with Bob so frequently it felt like you were always checking your phone for a new message. For the first time in your pitiful dating history, he was the one reaching out often and matching your energy. Talking with him is like a breath of fresh air. It’s almost better than than the fresh air you’re breathing now, walking through the open entrance of Ocean’s Cove. You immediately notice a very handsome man sitting at the table you’re directed towards, with his sandy hair styled perfectly.

As you walk over, he stands and pulls out your seat for you, only sitting down himself when you’re situated. His cheeks are tinted pink. “Hi.” He offers, clearing his throat. “You look really beautiful.”

“Thank you, Bob. You look amazing too.” You say, reaching out to brush against his blazer’s collar. “You always do.”

His face grows impossibly redder.

Just like the first time you met, you fall into the rhythm of conversation easily. It’s awkward, at first, as things often are, but it quickly becomes one of the best talks you’ve ever had. Your food is eaten between giggles and playful comments.

“He seriously made you do five hundred push-ups for someone else’s mistake? Man, you must hate this Hangman guy after he pulled that.”

“Oh, everyone hates him. In a loving way, mostly. Just be glad you’ve never been around him while he’s drunk.” Bob’s eyes are lit up, and the sight is better than you could’ve ever imagined.

You wipe your mouth with your napkin gently, trying to not rub your makeup on the soft cloth. “Wait, what’s he like drunk? He’s gotta be a character.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, and you engrave the sound in your memory. This is amazing. “He gets so competitive, but he’s too drunk to throw the darts straight or hold the pool cue proper. It’s really funny, because he thinks he’s doing well until the darts end up pinned through Maverick’s uniform.”

“Oh geez,” you laugh. “That reminds me of my old friend. She drunkenly spilled tequila down the front of our boss’s suit while trying to impress our coworker.”

“It seems like we’ve got a lot in common.” He smiles. He’s about to say something else, but your waiter stops in front of your table before he can get the words out.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, sir, but we have another couple waiting for your table. We have a three hour policy.”

Three hours? You’ve been here for three hours? You check the dimming light and realize that what you thought was forty minutes was, in fact, a hundred and eighty. Bob pulls out his card and signs the receipt, seemingly a little embarrassed that he also didn’t realize the time. “Here. Sorry for the trouble.”

The card is whisked away before you can even request a separate check. “I would’ve paid for that.”

“No can do.” Bob says, placing his hand over yours gently. “It’s my treat.”

You try to formulate a response to his kindness, but your mouth falls dry. All you can do is whisper a “Thank you,” as the waiter comes back with his card and ushers you out politely.

The outside air is heavy and chilly, cut with the smell of sea spray. As the sun dips below the horizon, you shiver. Without a word, Bob drapes his blazer around your shoulders. You turn to him, eyes slightly wide. “Are you sure?”

The question is about more than just the blazer. It encompasses everything you’ve wanted to say to him, everything that you’ve been worried about from the beginning. Is he sure that he wants to do this? That he really actually likes the person he just so happened to save at the Hard Deck?

“Always.” Is his simple reply. Your hand finds his, and he entwines your fingers like it’s natural. “I apologize if this is overstepping-“

“Do you want-“

You both start and stop at the same time. “Continue.” You say, a smile working its way up to your eyes.

“No, you go.” He insists. He swings his arm a bit, taking your hand with him. You can feel his blazer dip past your hand and onto his, as the sleeves are too long for you.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to go down to the beach with me. It might not be good for our formal clothes, but I really like you, and I want to spend more time with you. As much time as possible, actually.”

This time, it’s his eyes that widen. “You read my mind. I was thinking the exact same thing.”

You laugh, a sound that’s music to his ears. It’s perfect, like everything about you. Like your humor and your storytelling ability, like the slope of your shoulders and the softness of your hands. He could spend his whole life drowning in you. “Then let’s go, before we miss the entire sunset.”

You pull him along, your thumb smoothing over his own, and he thinks he’d let you lead him anywhere. “Look, the beach is so pretty at this time of day! It’s like something out of a magazine.” You exclaim, expensive heels digging into the sand. You can’t bring yourself to care about washing the sand off, not right now.

“It’s almost as pretty as you.” Bob breathes. He doesn’t expect you to hear it, but you do. You turn around and slide your palm over the smooth fabric of his shirt, playing with the collar, before kissing his cheek softly.

For once, you take initiative in your movements. You can’t let him slip away; you think you’d be devastated if you didn’t see him again, if you never told him exactly how you feel. “I’d say it’s nowhere near as pretty as you.” You can tell your face is warm, and his definitely is. “We need to do this again.”

“For sure.” He murmurs. His expression is conflicted, and you feel a small bit of insecurity bubbling up. Does he not want this as much as you do? He takes a small breath of air, eyes flicking up to the sky for a brief moment. His glasses slide down his nose just a bit, but he doesn’t push them up. He’s only focused on the words timidly making their way out of his mouth. “Please stop me now if you don’t feel the same way.”

“If ‘feeling the same way’ means wanting to continue talking, I wouldn’t stop you for the world.” You can feel a hint of anxiety in your tone. Bob takes both of your hands, and the small butterflies are eaten by larger, rougher butterflies. Think atlas moth sized butterflies.

“In that case,” he almost whispers, “would you let me be your boyfriend? For real this time. And I won’t hold it against you if you say no, or want to wait, because I know we’ve only really been talking for a week, and-“

You cut him off with a kiss. His lips are soft and don’t demand anything from you. He reaches for the back of your head, cradling you like you might break. When you finally break away, his glasses are just a bit crooked. You reach a hand up to fix them. “Yes. Yes, I’d love it if you were my real boyfriend.”

“Awesome.” Is all he can manage to say. You giggle anyways, placing your hands on his chest.

“Next time, if a creep hits me up in a bar, we won’t have to lie.”

He places a sweet kiss on your forehead. “If I’m there, I hope he wouldn’t even think to try.”

Taglist: @seitmai

[rayaswrittings]

Hii good evening. I love your writing can u please write abt colby being jealous? Like possessive type of jealous can be anything like smut. Love youu!

When the party’s over

Pairing: Colby Brock x Fem!Bestfriend Reader

This is a part two of I just want to feel

Summary: You and Colby had started dating only a few months ago and for the most part it was good, but we all have our flaws, don’t we? For Colby, it was jealousy.

Warning(s): Mature language and Themes, Slight smut! Talk of relationship trauma, kissing, choking, etc

“Y/N, hurry up! We’re gonna be late!” Sam yells up the stairs, startling you and causing your hand to slip, dragging the lip liner pencil to smudge on your face.

“Ugh! Kiss my ass, Sam!” You yell angrily, placing your hands on the bathroom sinks countertop. You were already having a stressful day as it was and Sam rushing you only made you feel worse. You couldn’t even get your makeup right.

“You know that’s my job, right?” You turn your head only for a slip second to see your boyfriend leaning against the doorway, a smirk plastered across his lips. You roll your eyes and move to grab a cloth to remove the lip liner from your face, a very deep and clearly stressed sigh escaping your mouth. “Come on, he’s just trying to be early. No reason to get all upset over it” His words make you stop and glare at him, not even an ounce of laughter coming from you while he was all smile.

“Go downstairs, Colby” He chuckles, standing straight and walking over to where you’d been in the bathroom. You just stared at him, watching his eyes take in the mess of your lip that had clearly pissed you off.

“Hmm, so this is what’s got you so worked up?” He lifts your chin, taking the small cloth out of your hand. He pushes your hair out of your face gently before lightly dabbing it onto your skin, trying his hardest not to take off more of your makeup. “Sorry, I’m not that good at this” He laughs nervously, but to his relief you couldn’t help but smile. “There she is” he pulls the cloth away once it’s all gone, still holding the other side of your face with his free hand.

“Thanks” you smile, grabbing the liner again to fix the recent mistake, this time getting it perfectly the way you want. “Yes! Oh my god finally!” You laugh, putting lip gloss on to finish it off. Colby’s watching you with a smile on his face through the mirror, he was just happy you were happy.

“You ready to go now?” He asks and you smile at him through the mirror, turning to him with a shrug.

“Almost” You grab his hand, leaning against the counter as you pull him toward you with a small closed mouth smile—one that got you in trouble all the time.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N” Your eyes soften at his words, pupils growing bigger with love as he cups your face, leaning down to press his soft lips against yours. Oh, the butterflies you had in your stomach every time you kissed. Colby had such a hold on you, even after all these years.

“Oh, come on! I’ve been screaming for 10 minutes we have to leave and you two are in here swapping spit?!” The two of you pull away at the sound of Sam’s voice, realizing he was standing in the doorway with an angry expression. “We have to pick up kat, so will you two please save it for later!”

There’s a long silence when he walks out of the room, and the two of you don’t even move until you hear the door shut.

“Holy fuck” the two of you burst out in laughter, holding onto each other for support. Sam loved you guys together, but you know how new couples are.

They simply do not care.

“Did you see his face!” You laugh at Colby’s words and nod your head, moving out of the bathroom to grab your purse from his bed. “Oh my god, that shit was fucking hilarious” Colby’s laugh starts to calm down after you grab your bag, and you look at him with a smile.

“Don’t mention it in the car, alright? You know how he gets” you walk toward the door where Colby held it open for you, shrugging his shoulders.

“Wouldn’t dream of it”

You and Colby had been dating for a little over four months, starting when you slept with each other that night of their truth or drink video. The two of you told Sam fairly quick obviously, but waited until he returned from his trip that week so you could down time alone without anyone knowledge.

However, after you told Sam and Kat, you became more involved in their videos than usual. You’d do drunk lives with the other couple and go to some of the haunted places with them, so the whole internet knew of your relationship at this point.

You and Colby were very public. It didn’t take you long to realize how possessive and protective Colby was, but even with the unnecessary thoughts that would run through his head, you still found it so fucking hot that he couldn’t bare to see another man’s eyes set on you at all.

He didn’t care if you wore revealing outfits. If some asshole was staring at you, he’d make it clear you were his.

One of Colbys main love languages is definitely physical touch. Wherever you were, he always needed to be touching you somehow to know you were safe. When you’d stand next to him, he’d always hold a firm grip on your waist, and would almost always pull you into his lap just so he could cuddle into you.

And every time you got drunk,

Like every time

The night would always end with the two of you naked in Colby’s bed, cuddled together. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other when your drunk, it felt impossible to.

“There you guys are! I was starting to think you bailed!” Stas’s voice is enough to pull your mind from itself, and you watch as she hugs Kat and Sam.

Stas was a cool person, but everytime you saw her it always felt so awkward. You remember seeing her and Colby close for years, he would even get mad at you if you asked about what was going on between them. So you had to admit, you felt intimidated by her.

“Oh my god, Y/N. You look gorgeous, this color is so pretty on you” She pulls me into a hug, huge smile on her face as she does. Okay, maybe I can’t be that paranoid.

“Walk right past me, why don’t you?” Colby’s words sort of send a sharp pain through my chest. Why did he need a hug from stas? You’re overthinking right? I mean, he knows how you feel about their friendship and what’s happened before… you have a reason to be cautious, right?

You watch painfully as she hugs him, the two of them laughing. It almost makes you roll your eyes, but Sam nudges your arm with his own, nodding his head over to where the rest of the people were. He could tell you felt uncomfortable—he always could, but he didn’t want it to get in the way of you having a great night.

“Come on. Kris and Celina have been waiting to see you!” Even through your slight bit of jealousy, Kat’s words make you smile and feel better. You loved Kris and Celina so much, you were surprised they had come since they live kind of far.

The party was sort of a celebration party for the boys hitting 10 million before they go on their way to the conjuring house in a month or two, so everyone they’ve collaborated with was invited.

Though Kris and Celina were your favorite.

“Oh my god!” Kris screams through the crowd, pushing past everyone to get to you and Kat. Her drink was shaking in her hand with every step she took, you were surprised it didn’t spill when she pulled you into a firm hug. “How are you! I’ve been waiting for you to get here”

“I didn’t even know you were here, this feels surreal” You laugh, pulling away from her with a smile. You hadn’t seen Kris for months, you weren’t even sure if she knew you and Colby had been together. You were out toward friends and public but nobody could tell online. You had recently started posting more pictures together but nothing romantic—you and Colby wanted to figure out the best way to let the world know.

“You look so beautiful, Y/N. You do look like you could use a drink too, though” Kat hums, bumping her shoulder to your own with a smirk on her face, handing you a white claw from wherever she had gotten it while you were talking. “Celina is around here somewhere, probably running the alcohol because Seth keeps drinking the one she likes” she rolls her eyes and Kat laughs, leaning against Sam who had now been standing behind her.

“We just got here and you’ve got a drink in her hand already?” You can smell his cologne and notice he’s behind you before he even spoke, though Kris didn’t even see him until he said those words, and just as she was about to reply, her eyes fell quickly to where his hands fell on your waist.

Colby’s hand laid firm on the side of your waist, holding you close to his body while he took your drink for his own, taking a small sip still waiting for her to say something.

It almost makes you laugh how confused she looks. Everyone who has ever met you guys, knew something was up between you and Colby, but to show up like this? It took her by surprise.

“The night won’t be young for long, Colbs” Kris shrugs it off, tilting the last drops of her drink into her mouth. “I’m all out, do you want to grab another one with me, Y/N? Maybe we’ll find Celina” I nod, looking at Colby before heading with her.

“You want the usual?” He smirks, his smile being enough to answer. You’re stunned when he leans down and presses a gentle peck against your lips, in front of all your friends. It almost doesn’t feel real.

He moves his hand closer to your lips brushing against your ear, “don’t take too long” Jesus.

You could feel the feeling between your legs already build as he pulls away, releasing your waist from his grip. Oh god, everyone was look at you now.

But fuck, that just made it ten times hotter.

Once you’re far away from the group, Kris almost immediately grabs you by your hand, pulling you aside to blend in with the crowd more. “Um hello! You and Colby?!” She wide eyes you, hurt she didn’t know sooner. Everyone else was chill about it, so she felt she was the only one who didn’t know.

You press your lips together and nod, trying to stop the pink undertones from flushing your face. “It was a few months ago, we haven’t really made it public to social media yet” she scoffs running her hands down her face with a sigh. “What? Is something wrong-“

“I owe Celina twenty bucks—ugh!” You pause, mouth slightly open at your friend.

“You bet on me?” She shrugs, pulling her purse to the front of her body to search for the money. “Kris!”

“Celina and I were debating because after spending the last time with you guys, things just seemed too tension filled but I tried to put my mind aside and think-“

“Y/N?!” Speak of the devil.

Celina wraps her arms around you quicker then you can even reply, squealing with excitement. You could barely hear her over the music, but her loud demeanor was always enough to get by.

“When did you get here? And why didn’t you come get me, Kris!” She looks over at the blonde, and before she could question why she was grabbing money out of her purse, Celina was already and laughing mess.

“Okay we get i-“

“I KNEW IT!” She exclaimed happily, snatching the money out of Kris’s hand. “How long?! Oh, I can’t wait to see how cute you guys look together!” She shakes your shoulders which ultimately makes you laugh, even thought Kris was glaring at you.

“How are you mad at me for betting on you when she did the same!” Kris argues.

“Cause you lost” You shrug, turning to walk toward the drinks table.

“Alright, I think it’s time for a different game!” Seth announces, making the rest of the group cheer. You could hear them from the bathroom pretty clearly, and you already knew Colby was the first to volunteer for the game as always. It was almost twelve and you were getting pretty tired to say the least so you were sort of counting down the hours until you guys left. You celebrated hard and now you were drunk, but you wanted Colby to enjoy his and Sam’s day so you didn’t say anything.

You close the door to the bathroom and glance in the room that held most of the people, it looked like they were playing cup pong? You couldn’t see clearly so you didn’t know, but instead of checking it out, you headed into the other room to sit on the couch, water in hand.

There were a few people spread out along the area but nobody you knew—or at least until a somewhat familiar face appeared next to you.

“Sick of the party already?” You look over at the man beside you, watching as he sits a small distance away. You knew this guy but from where? He looked so familiar… he must’ve saw the look of confusion on your face because he couldn’t help but laugh, telling you. “Christian. I’m seth’s friend—I met you awhile ago so I can understand the confusion”

There it is. You knew you recognized him from somewhere.

“Sorry, I’m just drunk” you sigh and he chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Aren’t we all?” He holds up his beer. There was silence for a little bit, you didn’t really have any interest in talking to him when you wondered what Colby had been doing. The last you saw him, he was with Sam and kat, but also with Stas.

Why couldn’t you get that idea out of your head? The idea that Stas and Colby still have something… that maybe she was better than you in his eyes and he just settled for you because he couldn’t have her?

You were angry—they had been close all night, always laughing even when you were next to him.

If he could talk to someone he knew you were cautious of, you could talk to someone too.

“So what are you doing over here if you’re having a good time? Only the loners wall sit” You question, taking a sip of your water. He chuckles at your question.

“Wanted to say hi, I guess” He looks over at you with a smile, one that told you he was trouble, one that should’ve made you say you had a boyfriend.

But you were so angry, so upset at Colby for that night that you didn’t even care. You were just talking—that was no issue.

“Why are you over here alone then, hm? I always see you with Sam and Colby” hearing his name come out of Christian’s mouth made your stomach twist. What were you doing? Your boyfriend was celebrating his big accomplishment and all you can think about is how close he is with Stas. You shouldn’t be talking to this boy, and if you felt tired you should let Colby know.

“Speak of the devil!” Christian laughs and stands to his feet, causing your attention to shift toward where he walked to. Colby stood in the doorway with a clearly annoyed face, one only you could really tell was there. The two still dap each other up and act friendly, but you can tell Colby is still on edge.

You get up and walk out of the room, determined to go back to the bathroom where you’d been before to at least try and drown out the loud noise ringing in your head.

But of course, the door was stopped from closing.

“A little privacy maybe?” You mug your boyfriend as he pushes his way into the bathroom, shutting and locking it behind him before he even looked at you. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so-“

Before you could finish, his large hand was already wrapped around your arm, pulling you closer to him which bringing your arm up to his eye view. You furrow your eyebrows, what was he looking at?

“Where’d you get this bruise from” He mumbles, clearly still mad but waiting for you to answer about this new mark on your body. “Y/N”

“I fell earlier, when I was going to get a drink with Kris and Celina. It’s just a bruise, Colby” His jaw visibly clenches at your words, like he doesn’t believe for a second that’s what happened—which he didn’t.

“I know every inch of your body, Y/N” He looks at you, his voice stern. “And I know this bruise wasn’t there before”

Is it hot in here?

His words send shivers through your spine, his tone cut through you like a sharp knife, and you could tell he was ready to look for Christian again to blame.

“Baby, I promise you—it was from falling” You place a hand on the side of his face, hoping he’d let it go. “You can even ask Kris and Celina”

“What were you doing with Christian then?” You sigh, releasing his face and crossing your arms in front of him. He knew you hated when he did this—no matter how hot he looked whenever he was jealous.

“Colby, he is a friend”

“You barely know him, Y/N. Christ, he was looking at you like he wanted to fucking eat you, for gods sake” You roll your eyes and turn around, leaning over to the mirror to check your makeup. “Now you’re not even looking at me?”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing, Colby. Why do you even care who I’m talking to? You’ve been busy giggling with Stas all goddamn night” you fix your hair, refusing to look at the boy behind you through the mirror.

He chuckles, “so what? You see me talking to Stas so you go talk to fucking Christian? Out of all people—“

“It’s not like you were talking to me!” You snap, turning toward him. You weren’t even upset anymore, just pure angry at the fact he couldn’t see why you were mad at him. “You kept a hand on my waist or stayed close to me but you haven’t even kissed me all party except for when we got here!”

“I know something happened between you and Stas before we started dating, but not knowing what it was always makes me feel like you don’t want me to find out for a reason”

“So if you won’t act like I’m yours in front of her, why should I act like I’m yours in front of Christian? Or anyone else!”

“I’m going home. I’ll call a fucking Uber” you grab the door hand and twist it open, pushing past your silent boyfriend to get out quicker.

But none of it lasted long—especially the part about you going home.

You let out a silent gasp when his hands grab onto you again, this time pushing you against the bathroom’s counter with a hand roughly at your waist and one firm against your throat—lips attached to yours as soon as you hit the tile.

He slips his tongue past your lips, and you willingly give up fighting against him at this moment. It should’ve made you mad, but you knew he was jealous and so were you, and right now you both needed this.

You moan against his lips as he lifts you up, sitting you on the cold marble counter and pushing your legs apart so he could stand between them. This might’ve sounded bad to someone else, but one thing you and Colby were amazing at, was makeup sex.

“You’re mine, Sweetheart. I don’t share—especially not with some loser like Christian” He mumbled against your lips, just before moving down to trail his on your skin. “Stas has never been what I wanted, Y/N”

“You look at her like it…” you sigh, fingers combing through his hair as he presses soft kisses against your neck.

“I’ve wanted you since we were sophomores in high school, Y/N. I’ve only ever looked at you like that”

“I love you, Colby. I just want to make sure you love me too” Your words escape in a slight moan, feeling his hand reach under your skirt. Jesus, you were supposed to be mad!

“Mmm” He hums, pressing his thumb against your already soaked center. Colby found it pointless to talk, he knew he could give everything to you in this moment—he didn’t care if that’s how he had to prove he loved you. “Always so fucking wet”

“Colby, the lock-“

“I love you, Y/N. I should’ve never made you feel the way you did” his voice trails as his lips do too, all the way until he reaches your thighs. His eyes gaze up at you, and smirk pulling at his lips as he opens your legs wider. “But I can’t just let you walk out without punishing you for talking to that dick”

This was okay…had to make it short because my keyboard is glitching💀

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Bros, Bros, and more Bros

I made a mistake! My cousin told me about this fortune teller that cast a spell on him. Apparently, it made every man he ran into act like a fatherly figure in his life. I had an awesome dad, but I've always struggled to connect with guys my own age, so I tracked the witch down and begged her for another spell. She eventually came around, but the effects aren't quite what I expected...

"Sup, dude! Wanna skip and hit the park?"

My eyes stretch wide to take in the sight of my own father, carrying a skateboard over his shoulder like it's the most natural thing in the world. He's been acting like this for weeks; not washing his hair, barely even washing himself, and constantly wearing that stupid cap backwards. He's lost any sense of his old self!

"Dad, it's Monday. You've got work," I reply, not wanting him to piss his boss off.

"Work blows!" he sneers, "I hate wearing this stupid tie, and I'd rather hang with you, bro."

I sigh as my father tosses down his skateboard and extends a palm, pulling me into a cliche bro-hug where he claps me on the back. My dad used to give out hugs all the time, but it was never as performatively masculine as this. All this stupid curse did was turn my father into an 40 year-old frat guy.

"You're going to work," I say firmly, "And I'm going to school. We can play videogames or whatever when we get back later tonight."

"Bruuhhh!" he groans, "Fine. I'll catch you later, dude. There's pizza in the fridge if you want."

The idea of leftover pizza this early in the morning makes my stomach ache. My dad used to cook an entire meal every morning, complete with fruits and veggies. Now, he'd probably settle for a bag of chips.

The man leaves the skateboard behind and grabs his suit jacket, pulling it on with an attitude. He gives me one last head nod before bounding out of the house, hair flowing behind him. I imagine it's only a matter of time before my dad's boss is fed up with his new persona. I can't imagine a bro-personality is very conducive to getting work done in a corporate office. Hopefully, he'll mature soon.

With an empty stomach, I saunter out of the kitchen and walk to campus. I'm grateful to live close to the university. Hopefully, my curse won't get in the way of my day.

"Hey, how's my favorite student doing, bro?"

My professor yells and breaks into a goofy grin at the sight of me. I close the door to his office to give us a bit of privacy. Mr. Carlton only acts like this when I stop by, so his colleagues would be shocked to see such a drastic shift in his usually stoic personality.

"I'm good, Professor Carlton," I say, "I wanted to check on my grade for this course."

"No need to be so formal, dude," he smiles, clapping me on the back, "You can call me Daniel. Want a drink? I have some bourbon."

"I'm good. I really just-"

"Relax, bro," my professor says, shoving a glass in my hand, filled to the brim, "This is good stuff. I save it for special occasions, so sit down! Kick your shoes off! I don't care!"

The department head pulls off his suit jacket and leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk and stretching his arms behind his head. I'd never seen the man act so unprofessional, but ever since the curse, he's started treating me like his closest buddy.

"Professor...sorry...Daniel, I just wanted to hear about my grade."

"I got you, bro!" he laughed, "Just keep doing what you're doing. I don't care if you don't show up!"

My shoulders relax. That's what I want to hear. It's not that I don't want to attend his lectures, but the last time I did, he started acting like a jackass in front of the entire class of 50 students. His presentation went from ancient monetary systems to ratings of best celebrity nip-slips. It's a miracle he didn't get fired!

"Ok, good. I have to go," I say checking the time, "And you have class in 20 minutes."

"Shit, I know," he groans and gulps down the rest of his booze, "Another day another dollar, I guess. When can we hang out, man? Tonight? I really wanna hang out with my guy."

"Nope, sorry!" I tense up and grab my backpack, "Good luck with the lecture."

"Right on, bro," he holds a sad hand up for a high-five, swallowing the rest of the drink he poured me.

I give my tipsy professor a halfhearted clap and scamper out of the office as quickly as possible. These interactions make me cringe so hard when a grown man acts young and cool for me. It's especially awkward to see such a respected individual sink to such a low level. What would we even do if he came over?

"Dude! Long time, no see!"

In the hallway, I run into the football coach and two of the team's best players. The three of them look like they're getting back from an early morning conditioning session. They're all sweaty, panting, and happy to see me.

"Oh, hey," I muster, feeling increasingly less cool around these jocks. I hate to admit it, but guys like this wouldn't give me the time of day before I got that bro-curse.

"Hey, man! You gotta come hang out with us," the brunette grins, "The team's still changing, but you're cool to come in the locker room!"

"Yeah, bro!" the blonde quickly adds, "We'd love to have you in there!"

My heart pounds faster and faster. This is why I've never been able to connect with guys my own age. I find myself boning up every time they look in my direction. Now that these two athletes are practically begging for me to join them in the locker room, my erection is bursting out of my pants!

"We can take care of that too," the coach suddenly mentions, pointing a finger at the tent I'm trying to hide in my crotch.

"What?" I stammer with a dry mouth.

"What do you think bros are for?" the coach continues, clapping his two players on the back, "My boys would be happy to help a brother out!"

The two football jocks nod. It feels like I'm dreaming, and I don't know what to do. Before I can decide, the two athletes have approached and grabbed me by the arm. Their grips are firm, and I realize I'm being escorted into the changing room whether I like it or not!

"Who's this guy?"

My stomach drops as I enter the locker room, finding an array of footballers in different states of dress. They all glance up at me with confusion, like I'm not supposed to be there, but then their faces soften. The gypsy's magic sets in, and they don't see a stranger when they look at me. They see their bro.

"Oh, it's you, bro," the same jock says, letting down his guard. I think I recognize him as the quarterback.

"Oh yeah, dude!" the massive lineman stands up and pulls me into a sweaty hug, "Glad you're here!"

"That's right guys," the brunette at my side says, still holding me tightly in place, "Our best bud is here, and he needs some attention."

My face flushes as I suddenly remember the problem poking out between my legs. By now, the entire football team is staring at it. If anything, it's only become more rock solid.

"Let me take care of that for you, bro," the quarterback says, grabbing my crotch without any hesitation.

"Move, I'll do it," says the lineman, pushing the quarterback out of the way and getting on his knees. He opens his mouth wide and-

"Shut up, all of you!" the coach suddenly roars! The locker room falls silent: these athletes are really well trained. "If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. Line up!"

"Yes, coach!"

The jocks back up and form a line in front of the lockers. Even the blonde and brunette that were holding me, release and join the rest of the team on the bench. Suddenly, I'm standing with the coach, looking at an entire team of well-disciplined football players. My throbbing erection is very apparent and pointing right at the small crowd of muscular men.

"Our bro deserves to be kept satisfied, right?" the coach slams a hand on my back.

"Yes, coach!" they shout back.

"So we don't just want to get our boy off once and move on, now do we?" he punctuates his question with another slap, this time lower on my back.

"No, coach!"

"We're going to set up a system for us to get him off whenever he needs it!"

"Yes, coach!"

The broad-shouldered and balding coach gives me one more slap, clapping me on the ass this time while staring into my eyes. "I'm gonna have my boys take turns sucking you off, bro. You just tell me which one's your favorite. Sound cool?"

I manage to mumble my assent, and with one look from coach, the quarterback is on his knees crawling towards my crotch. He pulls down my pants and unleashes my aching hard-on. "I got you, bro," he says, before putting his mouth to work.

After a few minutes, the coach pulls the jock off my pole and orders the linebacker to get busy. Before long, it's the brunette's turn, then the blonde's. I cycle through all 30 of the team's exceptional players, and I've gotten off more than just a few times. It's impossible to choose a favorite.

At the end of it all, the coach pushes the last player aside and says, "My turn, bro," before opening his mouth as wide as he can.

The entire football team watches as I spend the next 15 minutes just filling their coach's eager throat. When I'm finally done, I feel completely spent. I swap numbers with each jock and am repeatedly promised that they will be available whenever I call, but it isn't enough. They want to hang out with me now. They want to go out and party. I find it too difficult to say 'no' to a group of 30 eager athletes, so I let them sweep me up and take me to the nearest bar.

Needless to say, we end up causing a bit too rowdy of a scene.

"I got a complaint about a bunch of college idiots causing a ruckus. Would that be you?"

The officer was all business when he first walked in the bar. My football bros were dancing and yelling, barely even paying attention to the policeman scowling at the wild scene in front of him. He looked pissed, and his glare only softened when it found me.

"Woah, didn't know you were here, man," the cop says, cracking a slight grin on his hardened face.

"Well, I am!" I cry, feeling the effects of all the drinks my bros had been buying for me, "You should forget about work and party with us!"

"You got it, dude! Screw this badge!" the officer yells, pulling me into a tight embrace. I guess the bro-curse even works on law-enforcement!

Just like that, I'm dancing with a policeman in the middle of the dance floor. He doesn't have any moves, but he loosens up after we get some beer down his throat. The football team loves watching the cop party right alongside them. Apparently, this guy has broken up many of their parties in the past.

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

The officer gulps down his seventh beer and slams the glass on the floor. It breaks, but the shattering is largely drowned out by the music. His onlookers go wild, but I can see the intoxication on his face. Beer is plastered around his mouth and dripping down his neck to soak into his uniform. I doubt this man has ever been this drunk in uniform before.

He stumbles over and throws a muscled arm over my shoulder, "Come here, bro. Let's do some shots or something!"

"I think it might be time to call it a night, officer," I yell in his ear.

"Oh, screw that!" he whines, "And don't call me officer! It's so formal!"

"Ok, what should I call you?"

"I dunno..." he mutters, "Buck! Call me Buck. That's what my wife calls me."

I roll my eyes at the mention of his wife. Of course this guy is taken. He's a complete stud of man. I've always liked a guy in uniform.

"How'd you like to come home with me tonight, Buck?" I ask sheepishly.

He lights up, "Bro, I thought you'd never ask!"

The cop grabs my arm with a wicked grin and stomps his way towards the door, dragging me along like I'm the prize he won at a fair. The players on the football team all stare at him with envy, mad that he's stealing their new best friend away for the night. I could see how badly each one of the jocks wished they were the one having a sleepover with me tonight.

"Hop in, I'll drive," officer Buck slurs his words and gestures to the police cruiser with his free hand.

"I think I'll handle the driving, if that's alright," I say, "Just hand over the keys."

"Anything for you, bro."

"Looks like someone got lucky!"

"Oh my God. Dad you're still up?"

"Bro, you said you'd play videogames tonight and then you never showed! What was I supposed to do?" he retorts, unbothered by the late hour or the cop hanging on my arm.

"You have to go to work in 4 hours!" I scream, "And you haven't even changed out of today's work clothes! What are you thinking?"

"Chill, bro," my dad says, turning to the drunk policeman holding my hand, "Take him to the bedroom and show him a good time. I'm sure you were going to, but the dude could use some extra help relaxing tonight."

The sound of my own father encouraging the man I brought home to 'show me a good time' makes me question everything again. My dad just witnessed his son bringing home a cop that's the same age as him. He doesn't even care! I want to tell him to grow up and be the man I used to know, but Buck is already jerking on my arm.

"Let's go, bro," he mumbles lowly, using his strong arms to drag me into the bedroom.

"Enjoy your new cop friend, bro!" my father calls and I hear the sounds of his videogames start back up.

I barely have time to worry about any of it. Has this curse gone too far? Will my dad make it to work tomorrow? Does Buck have a wife I need to worry about!?

It all goes away when I'm thrown on the bed. The intoxicated officer flips the lights down low, and stumbles in front of me. He may be drunk, but he is certainly not a disappointment. The cop stares down at me as he rips his state-issued hat off and unbuttons his dark uniform shirt, all the while moving his hips to the beat of gunfire from dad's videogame in the living room.

With his hairy chest exposed, he crawls on top of me and whispers in my ear, "Where do you want me to start? Us bros gotta look out for each other, don't we?"

[licorice-tea]

I Think I Love You!

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader, Platonic Straw Hats & reader

Content: Strawhat!reader, cursing/strong language, kissing, Law has trouble with accepting his feelings, reader is a schemer and plotter fr, misunderstandings / miscommunication but more funny than angsty, fluff, idiots in love <3

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: this is a song fic based on “I Think I Love You!” by the Partridge Family lol, so the indented parts are song lyrics! also i wrote this between like 2 and 5 am… please forgive me for any grammar mistakes😭

This morning

Law cannot stand being a guest on the Thousand Sunny. He wakes up in the library- he must have fallen asleep there last night- and can already hear shouting from above deck. Why are they causing such a commotion this early on in the day? To him, the reason is simple: because the Straw Hat Pirates are inarguably the loudest, most annoying, chaotic bunch of-

thump thump thu-thump thump… knock knock!

Pushing the door to the library open with your back, you carefully turn while entering the room to reveal a serving tray in your hands.

Your voice rings out in the mostly silent room- save for the noise coming from the deck of the Thousand Sunny. “Hey, Law? Sanji made coffee for the girls and I, so I had him make you a cup t- oh.”

You smile to yourself upon seeing the ally captain, Law, fast asleep at one of the library desks. (Or at least, he looks like he’s asleep.) Wordlessly, you set the tray down beside him.

“He looks cute like this,” you think, “calm.”

On your way out, you pause and grab a sticky note from a drawer in another desk. You decide to jot down a little note rather than wake him. But, unbeknownst to you, Law is already awake and staring at your back.

Ok, so… there might be one exception to his feelings of contempt toward the Straw Hats.

And maybe it’s because he wants to let you fulfill your kind mission, or maybe he just panics, but when you turn around he closes his eyes again. You stride back across the library to his desk makeshift bed, and stick the note on the tray as quietly as possible. Law can feel the soft exhale of your breath fanning over him, knowing you’re probably smiling. Soon after, he hears the door open and close softly, and decides it’s safe to sit up and open his eyes again.

I woke up with this feeling

His tired eyes scan over your words with the tiniest hint of a smile: “Sanji made coffee! + There’s milk and sugar in separate cups, b/c I’m not sure how you like it. -y/n :)”

To think, you went out of your way to ask that dumbass cook to make a cup for him, too? Then you had arranged it so neatly- and written the sweetest goddamn little note… Well, it was really just a simple explanation of the tray sitting before him, but it was cute because it came from you. He knew you wrote it out of care and concern for him, not to mention your own kindness. And- as he allows his mind to wonder while staring at his untouched coffee- he thinks that maybe you did it out of love.

“Wait, no, that’s crazy.” All this time around Straw Hat and his crew must be getting to him. Law tries to remedy his outlandish idea that you might feel for him the way he does for you by starting on the coffee you brought him. He doesn’t usually take milk or sugar in his coffee, but since you went out of your way, he adds a splash of the former and a small cube of the latter. And suddenly, his mind is wandering again…

What a kind thing to do for someone. This makes him feel sure of his previous notion once again- that you just might love him. You have to. Because he’s falling in love with you, slowly but surely, and…. oh. Fuck. He loves you.

Law curses himself. Realizing he’s falling in love is NOT how this day should start. Or any day, for that matter.

I didn’t know how to deal with

Though he got at least 6 hours of sleep (which is around 3 more than usual for the surgeon), and drained his coffee cup, Law’s head is aching. It’s a result of stress, most likely. Because, ever since he came to the terrifying realization that he’s falling for you, he can’t stop thinking about it (love, you, etc.)

Your smile is one of his favorite things, for example. It ranges anywhere from bright (like on the night he cracked a single joke while the two of you kept watch from the crows nest, and suddenly you outshone the stars while laughing) to sweet (when you accept a compliment from the love cook with a shy expression), with at least a dozen more variations.

And your eyes… God, he needed to stop thinking about you. He can barely concentrate now; what did he even plan on doing today?

Law decides then, that if he’s to get anything done at all, he’ll need to push all thoughts of you to the backburner.

And so I just decided to myself

“This is a foolproof plan,” Law thinks to himself, “one of my best yet.”

He’s most definitely lying to himself, but is it really lying if the liar themself believes the lie?

“Shit. Even that doesn’t make sense.” Whatever, he just needs to concentrate on something- anything other than you.

So Law, stubborn as ever, uses this trait to his advantage by becoming dead set on not thinking of you at all. He does so by ignoring you when you pass by each other in the halls of the Thousand Sunny, not meeting your eye when you offer a friendly smile over dinner, even straight up ignoring you once when you knocked on the door to his room. He knows it was you because you have this habit of making a short tune out of knocks-

No! He absolutely can’t think of you. Law has already made up his mind, and under no circumstances can he backtrack.

I’d hide it to myself

Law is very obviously hiding something, you’re just not sure what.

It’s like his demeanor toward you changed overnight. Before his switch up, the two of you had been spending a large portion of your days together. And sure, there aren’t many people to choose from for company when you’re at sea, but you took pride in the fact that Law still wanted to be around you.

It had taken a little time for the Captain of the Heart Pirates to open up at first- which you didn’t mind at all, some people are simply more reserved than others- but once he did, your purely physical attraction to the man grew into a head spinning crush. So, once you gained the confidence, you began flirting and showing him how you felt in careful ways.

And it had seemed like it was working! He engaged in meaningful conversations with you, started sharing sly compliments and jokes and looks, would always sit beside you at dinner- or directly across from you if both adjacent seats were taken- and didn’t seem to mind trading in his late night reading for keeping watch from the crows nest with you. All signs had pointed to him at least thinking of you as a friend, if not reciprocating your feelings for him.

So why the hell is he ignoring you all of a sudden? Whatever the reason, you intend to find out.

And never talk about it

After consulting with your team (Nami, Usopp, and Robin- the most emotionally intelligent people and/or those with the most relationship experience on the crew), you decide to confront Law. “It would be best to be straightforward and honest,” is the consensus the four of you came to.

But, it proves to be harder than you thought since he is still avoiding you. You’ve taken to hanging around the kitchen because everyone has to go there at some point, as everyone gets hungry or thirsty, but Law never shows. How is he getting his morning coffee if he never goes to the kitchen? It bewilders you; how he’s managing to sneak by you on your own ship. (On the second day of trying to catch him, you realize that he can, in fact, use his devil fruit abilities to avoid walking around the ship and simply teleport into the kitchen instead.)

The next day, you decide to hang around inside the kitchen. Sanji doesn’t mind one bit, and you think that Law is sure to pay a visit at one point or another.

And he does! You don’t even have to wait long, because early in the morning- around 6:30 am or so- he teleports in with a flash of blue light and greets Sanji with a nod. However, he doesn’t take notice of you sitting on a stool at the kitchen island.

“Just as I suspected.” You mentally pat yourself on the back for your sleuthing skills.

Law walks to the counter to grab a mug and pour a steaming cup from the pot the chef had just brewed, when you speak up.

“Morning, Law.”

He nearly drops his mug before turning around to see you, sitting at the kitchen island, with your own cup of coffee. (He notes how yours is a much lighter shade, and you’ve added ice and whipped cream. It fits you, he thinks, to prefer something sweeter. Great, just another reason why you could never like him the way he likes you.)

Law had purposefully been using his devil fruit and any other means to avoid you these last couple of days; yet here you are, looking at him with your knowing gaze. He was sure that you had caught on to his avoidance, because you’re perceptive like that, he just didn’t expect you to outsmart him like this. It’s enough to drive him crazy inside; like everything about you drives him crazy. (In some strange and foreign way that makes him yearn to be around you, but forces him to push you away.)

He mumbles out a quick “Morning.” and tries not to look as caught as he feels.

This is where you realize the flaw in your plan to confront Law: Sanji is also there. And despite the love you have for your crewmate, you don’t really want to do this in front of him.

So, when Law leaves just moments later, you follow.

And didn't I go and shout it

“Law! Wait up!” You call from a few paces behind him.

Though he doesn’t wait, he responds, “What?”

“What do you mean what? You’re being weird, and I want to know why!”

Law finally slows down, but only to open the door to the library, “I’m not being weird. Go away, y/n.” He states simply, then tries to close the door, but you hold it open.

When you walked into my room

You follow Law into the library- the room he has begun to frequent and sort of staked his claim on ever since he became a guest on board the Thousand Sunny.

With equal fervor, you respond; “Then why are you avoiding me? And straight up ignoring me when I try to talk to you? Because it’s really fucking rude. We’re friends, you know, and I thought-“

“We can’t be friends.” his voice is cold.

“Oh… Oh.” You think you understand now. “That’s so dumb, Law. Like, really stupid actually. Our friendship doesn’t depend on this alliance, if that’s why you-“

“It’s not!”

“Stop cutting me off! Ugh, just…” you sigh, clearly frustrated, “just tell me what’s going on then, please.”

He looks at you, your arms crossed and jaw set tightly. One might take your expression for angry upon first inspection, but there’s just a hint of sadness in your eyes and furrowed brows. He doesn’t want to ever see you like this- especially not because of something he’s done.

“I think I love you!”

This is it. He’s going to confess his feelings to you and ruin everything. You’ll probably hate him, never want to see him again, and that will just make it a hundred times harder to endure the remainder of his alliance with the Straw Hats.

“Well.. We can’t be friends because I…” Where was confidence and blatant disregard for the opinions of others when Law needed it?

You tilt your head and quirk a brow, giving him a quizzical look. The knowledge that you would never judge him so harshly; nor do anything to purposely hurt him, wasn’t doing much for his nerves right now, but it would have to do. He just needs to spit it out and get this over with now.

“I think I love you.”

You blink a few times as your eyes widen in clear surprise. Are you upset… or happy? He can’t tell, so he quickly corrects himself; “Uh- I’m falling in love with you. I think.”

(I think I love you)

Your frown grows into a small smile before the curve of your lips opens up into a much happier, brighter grin. And you laugh in a way that’s practically melodic to Law, which allows him to finally release the breath he’s been holding.

“I… I think I love you too, Law. Or I’m falling.” You emphasize the word like it’s an inside joke, just between the two of you. “It’s hard to tell.”

“…Yeah.”

“So… that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I’m, uh, sorry. I didn’t-“

Law stops when he feels the gentle press of your lips on the corner of his mouth. It’s barely a kiss, but you’re so incredibly warm and soft that he really doesn’t care that it only lasts 3 seconds. (Though, he would very much like it if you did it again. He makes a mental note to kiss you back with more certainty, should he get the chance.)

“It’s ok.” You tell him after you pull away.

He nods slowly- it’s probably the first time you’ve ever seen him in such a flustered state- before hesitantly leaning in again to close the distance between your lips. He tilts your jaw with one hand, and his other comes to rest on the small of your back. But he waits for you, like asking for your permission, which you grant him by parting your lips slightly. Then Law finally kisses you; it’s slow and a little unsure at first, but he quickly gets caught up to speed. You both find yourselves lost in the other as the whole exchange becomes more passionate, albeit a little aggressive and clumsy.

And this time, the kiss lasts much longer than 3 seconds.

[ultimate-chickennougat]

| I just want attention! |

Toji Fushiguro x Wife!Reader (Requested!)

Asking Toji for a divorce.

Word Count: 1.5k

CW: SFW, domestic mostly fluff and some angst, happy ending.

A/n: TYSM to the anon who requested! I'm not very experienced with writing angsty stuff so if it's bad my apologies. (Also tag: @chilichopsticks)

From the moment you met Toji, he was nothing but a gentleman to you. Maybe that was why you fell so hard and so quickly, so that when he was on one knee with a ring you didn’t hesitate at all after only a few months of being together. 

He always swept you off your feet, when you got off work he picked you up and took you wherever you wanted to go. He always tried to make you happy and spend as much time with you as possible, buying you flowers when you got a promotion and taking you to an early screening of a movie from your favorite franchise, were only a few of the many things he would do often for you.

All he asked for in return, was for you to accept him, faults and all. He had made mistakes in the past, and still worked as an assassin, which was the only job he felt he was well suited for. With you in mind, he quit his gambling habit. After so many loses he finally got some sense knocked into him and decided to saved up his money, so that the moment the two of you tied the knot you wouldn’t have to work at all. 

To most, Toji was seen as arrogant, if not invisible since he kept to himself, something that you never understood. On the day of your wedding, you were picked up in his arms and carried directly to the car, where he drove the two of you to your honeymoon destination right after the ceremony and fuss was over. Two weeks of hot springs and relaxing in a small town awaited you, where your husband doted on you more than ever. Every morning you awoke to a sweet kiss on your forehead, and warm arms engulfing you, making you wish you could sleep forever in the comfort of his protection.

You made sure to snap plenty of shots of walking around to the different shrines and temples, and your husband wearing a yukata which he realized he was rather fond of. By the end of your trip you were more in love with him than ever, and even more ready to embrace a wonderful life as his wife in your new home. 

Somewhere in your heart you knew that feeling might not last forever, the butterflies you got every time Toji was around you. But everyone always said the honeymoon phase lasted at least a few months… not the length of the actual honeymoon. Nothing your family and friends had said about marriage prepared you for this reality, that the fade to normal life would be so sharp.

By the time the two of you got back to the house, your husband was already heading right back to work as usual. You kept yourself busy with unpacking all the boxes and setting things up around the house, but in a way that only made getting used to a routine harder. Toji didn’t come back for four days, being on a job he got unexpectedly. 

His quick call barely did anything to calm your nerves. He was always so careful about telling you about his work before the two of you were married, trying not to worry you. Of course you knew Toji was strong, and you tried not to doubt him, but you could barely sleep from thinking about it. Now living with him you could feel his absence by the empty side of the bed and the single plate of food on the dining room table. 

As soon as he was back, you were overjoyed by his presence, almost thinking that feeling you were missing had returned. But, it wasn’t for long. No matter how many hobbies you took up at home, or how many friends you made in your new neighborhood, the absence of your husband would always bother you. When he was right in front of you, he was still the gentleman you always remembered, who you loved with every ounce of your being. But when he was away, you couldn’t help but wonder if he thought about you as much as you did about him. If he even missed you, he was gone so often for his assignments. As weeks turned to months, it blurred into routine and so did the wall that started to grow between the two of you.

That day, you had finally had enough. After contemplating it in your head for a few weeks, you realized that the two of you were still relatively new into your marriage, and you could still probably get your job back even if things changed. Of course you still loved him, and you couldn’t imagine your life without him, but right now, that was almost what you were living. He got less and less affectionate every time he came home, and it was too stressful to have to worry every day that he got home safe in a job that you didn’t fully understand, as he couldn’t tell you much for your own safety.

You had promised him you would stay by his side for anything, but he had done the same for you. And right now, neither of you were anywhere near each other. Toji had no idea you had taken up watching the neighbor’s kid after school some days, or that you baked a fresh loaf of bread at the start of every week, something he was never there to try. You didn’t know where he was or sometimes for how long, not getting much more than a promise that he’d come home safe. 

“Smells good, what’d you make?” Toji inhaled deeply as he walked into the house. For the first time in your marriage he was home on a Monday, bread making day. “It’ll be ready soon,” you referred to the loaf sitting on a cooling rack. You forwent the normal welcome, though you did it so rarely that it seemed to go unnoticed. Making a cup of coffee to go with a slice of the bread, you shifted you feet uncomfortably, making Toji watch your movements carefully. “Thanks,” he muttered, grabbing the bread off the plate while you sat down in front of him. 

The two of you sat in silence. Starting it off with that question felt far too daunting. “Y’know what, I was thinking we should take a vacation,” he started, “for a week or two.” You lifted your head up to look at him. “Haven’t done that in awhile, huh,” he groaned, hand rubbing his neck at your bland expression. 

He dropped his hand and sat up straight when he saw your face change. Your eyes, usually so cheerful and lovely, looked only of pain as they flooded with tears. “Toji, you know that I love you, I…” he watched you carefully as you spoke. “I… just can’t do it anymore,” you started to breath deeply, turning away to avoid your husband’s eyes. 

Toji grabbed your hand softly, encouraging you to squeeze it back as he listened. “I love you too, okay? Just talk to me,” he muttered, trying to decrease the tension though he knew in his gut what you were going to say. Clearly it had been on your mind for a while, you just wanted to get it over with. “I miss you, a lot, but I know you’ve got your work and everything,” you grasped his fingers, pressing into them lightly. “But I just don’t know what I’m doing here, aside from worrying about you. I’m not even doing anything for you.”

Tears flooded down your cheeks as Toji reached up to wipe them away with his thumb. “Maybe we just shouldn’t be together,” as much as he was prepared for your words, they still hit him like a ton of bricks. If only he could express how special every moment the two of you had together was to him, and how excited he was to make new ones. “I love you, okay? I didn’t marry you for nothin’, remember that.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I don’t want to be without you, but my work takes me away a lot.” Toji frowned, realizing your apprehension to fall into his arms was something he should have noticed beforehand. “I’ll quit, I’m serious. I just want you to be happy, okay? I don’t want to get divorced.”

“It’s not just that, it’s-” he tucked you into his chest. “You’re right, just calm down and we can talk about it,” you nodded against the fabric of his shirt. “I just want some attention, it’s like we don’t even know each other sometimes,” you whined, wrapping your arms around him as well. He smiled as you brought your head out, face dry of tears but still a bit pink. “I want to learn everything about you, yeah? Like how’d you get so good at baking…” he bit off a chunk of bread, now room temperature and slathered in butter. 

“This isn’t the time for joking, I just told you I wanted to get divorced,” you sulked as Toji laughed. “I’m just glad you changed your mind,” he let out a sigh of relief. “I still want to talk about this, but let’s leave it off for a bit,” he held you tighter, “I’d rather relax before I have to tell Shiu I’m quitting…”

[memories-of-ancients]

Petronius Maximus --- The dipshit Roman emperor who caused the sack of Rome because he was an arrogant dipshit.

Petronius Maximus was a wealthy Roman politician born in 397 AD to old Roman money. Like many wealthy Romans he went into politics and throughout the early 5th century climbed the ranks of Roman government until he became one of the most powerful men in the Western Roman Empire. He was crafty and he was ambitious. He was also a dipshit and an asshole.

By the 450's P. Maximus had a clear plan, to create a power vacuum in Rome that he could cunningly fill. He began by turning the emperor at the time, Valentinian III, against his magister militum Flavius Aetius. As magister militum Aetius was commander of the Roman Army, and had proven himself a master tactician and brilliant diplomat. Through military victories and diplomacy Aetius was barely holding a crumbling empire together. Maximus convinced Valentinian III that Aetius was looking to usurp his throne. Thus in 454 Valentinian summoned Aetius to his palace and personally murdered him with his sword. Maximus had organized the death of the most talented Roman official in the empire, which in the grand scheme of things was probably a big mistake. With Aetius dead, Maximus expected he would take Aetius' place as magister militum. However Valentinian refused to appoint him as magister militum. Thus in 455 AD, Maximus had him assassinated, hiring two of Aetius' bodyguards to do the deed as revenge.

Several powerful Romans claimed the Imperial throne but Maximus managed to beat them all to the punch by taking over the Imperial Palace and immediately marrying Valentinian's widow, Licinia Eudoxia. Licinia didn't know Maximus had murdered her husband at the time but had suspicions. He also forced her daughters, Placidia and Eudocia to marry his sons. Through deceit and murder Maximus had managed to weasel his way into the Roman Imperial family and was now creating his own Imperial dynasty. Thus Petronius Maximus had become Emperor Dipshit, ruler of the shiny turd of what was left of the Western Roman Empire.

Problem was, when Emperor Dipshit married off Placidia and Eudocia to his sons, he canceled Eudocia's arranged marriage to Hunneric, who was the son of Geiseric, king of the Vandals. The Vandals were a Germanic tribe that had set up a prosperous kingdom in the former Roman province of North Africa, and were constantly raiding the Italian coast. Valentinian had arranged the marriage of Eudocia as a peace offering to Geiseric. Geiseric had received a letter from Eudoxia informing him that Maximus had killed her husband and was canceling the marriage of Eudocia. Geiseric was enraged at Empror Dipshit for canceling the marriage, and sent a Vandal fleet and army to Rome in response. "No problem" said Emperor Dipshit, "we got the Roman Army".

Except there was no Roman Army. Not really. After the death of Aetius the remains of the standing full time professional army had collapsed almost completely. Even Aetius was very dependent on mercenaries and allies. Nobody wanted to enlist in the Roman Army in the 5th century, with Romans going so far as to cut off their own fingers to avoid conscription. The Roman economy was a mess, the Imperial bureaucracy was riddled with corruption, the life of the average Roman was miserable, and by the 5th century most Roman emperors were snobbish, over-privileged, incompetent out of touch dipshits. The empire was dying and everybody knew it. Few believed it was worth saving, and nobody wanted to die for a dipshit emperor such as Emperor Dipshit. By 455 AD what was left of the Roman Army consisted of militia units called "limitanei" who acted as border patrolmen far away from Rome. For more complex military operations the Romans were fully dependent on mercenaries and allies. Emperor Dipshit attempted to enlist the help of the Visigoths, but they were like, "LMFAO nooo, you made your bed now lie in it!" I speculate they knew Maximus was a dipshit who was probably gonna get them all killed.

Emperor Dipshit knew it was a hopeless situation, so he made an announcement to the Roman people to flee and save themselves, then he too turned tail and fled. He was spotted by a large group of Roman refugees, who formed a mob and beat him to death. Good riddance. Emperor Dipshit's glorious reign lasted 77 days.

As far as sackings go the sack of Rome in 455 AD wasn't too bad. The Vandals were Christians, so the Pope was able to convince them not to do the more horrible things like rape and murder civilians, or burn down the city. So for the most part the Vandals refrained from bloodshed and arson. However they did take as many Romans into slavery as they could fit on their ships, and they also looted the city of almost everything of value. Even the bronze tiles on the roof of the Temple of Jupiter were pried off and carted away. Also Geiseric carted off Eudocia and married her off to his son Huneric.

The Vandal's sack of Rome in 455 is where we get the term "vandalism" today. Also did I mention that Petronius Maximus was a dipshit?

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

If You Love Her

Prompt: You are dating Rafe after JJ cheated on you... but you're still a member of the pogues. A party and the boneyard makes tensions rise between everyone.

Rafe POV

Her head rests against Rafe’s chest as they soak up the last bit of the sun lounging on the Druthers. It has been a rare peaceful day and Rafe is thanking whatever higher power there is that she has become his saving grace. He just hates the way that it happened.

               (Y/N) is originally a pogue, but it never mattered to Rafe no matter how hard he tried to deny it. Rafe never picked on her, only her friends. She became close with Sarah after saving whatever the latest sea creature was at the time. So she had been over a few times before Sarah started dating John B. Though it was the moment she stopped hiding behind the boys and found her voice, that Rafe has never stopped listening. He has been in a trance ever since. Her fire is what drew him in, but it is (Y/N)’s heart that melted his core. The only problem, she was JJ Maybank’s girl. “Was” being the operative word.

               Rafe will never forget her tear stricken face, red eyes, and piercing sob from that night. It took everything in him to not beat that punk to a pulp. Thinking about it even now gets Rafe all riled up. He hates that she is still around JJ, she never left the group. Rafe understands they are her friends, but he doesn’t like it.

“Come on,” (Y/N) stirs, still half asleep. “You promised we would go to the party.”

“Right, the boneyard party. With the pogues.”

“Hey, I’m a pogue.” (Y/N) angles her face to look up at his with a teasing smile.

“You’re my pogue.” Rafe smiles and leans down to place a kiss on her forehead.

               Yeah she is his pogue and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Any other party he would be excited to go. He loves parties with his girl, dancing the night away and playing drinking games. Tonight will be exactly like that, except he will have to see Maybank. I wonder if him and Kie have made it official yet, Rafe wonders to himself.

Your POV

               The music can be heard from a mile away in Rafe’s truck. My arm wraps around his as his hand gently squeezes my thigh. I know he doesn’t want to be here. He is doing it for me and I love that he is willing to entertain me for a few hours. I won’t make him stay long. I want him to see that my friends can be cool, and I hope one day they can put away their bad blood and get along.

Years of pent-up anger at both groups has been baking as long as I can remember. If it wasn’t for becoming secret friends with Sarah years before she joined the group, I may have the same outlook on Rafe as the others. Can he be a jerk and annoying as hell? Yes, but he can be sweet and at times my friends can be no better. Things between the kooks and the pogues have been quiet lately, but I know Rafe has it for JJ. I can’t blame him, I did too before I accepted that JJ deciding to cheat had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. If I could have wished for anything that if JJ had to cheat, I would have chosen for him to cheat with anyone else but Kie. It makes the tension in the group that much thicker.

“Relax,” I giggle. “We’ll make an appearance. Stay an hour, two tops. Then we can go off on our own.”

               Rafe doesn’t say anything but I can see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. His thumb lightly brushes against my skin and I sense him starting to relax a bit. I just hope that tonight ends up being drama free.

               The truck is parked and Rafe is on my side opening the door. I learned early on that I am not allowed out of the truck unless he opens my door for me. Made that mistake and he wouldn’t move from his spot till I got back in so he could do it properly. I thought it was annoying and egotistical, but now I find it sweet. JJ never did that for me when we were dating.

               There are a lot of things that Rafe does that JJ never did. Aside from the whole cheating part, JJ was a fairly good boyfriend. He looked after me, was a good cuddler, made sure I had a good time. Being with Rafe though is so different. Sure he does look after me, kind of always has. We have the best time when together and I feel so safe in his arms. I’m not worried about a pretty blonde catching his eye. He is a complete gentleman making sure I am okay, respecting boundaries, going slow, being open. Something I did not expect is for him to communicate as well as he does. I guess once he knew I wasn’t going anywhere and that his feelings don’t scare me, he trusts me enough to talk about all the crap with his dad and if he is feeling insecure. He never freaks or overreacts when I have an issue with something.

“Hey boys!” I greet John B and Pope at the keg. I notice a small release of air leave Rafe’s chest at the realization JJ isn’t around yet.

“(Y/N) what up! I miss you at the chateau.” John B goes in for a hug and Rafe lets go of my waist to accommodate. The two shake hands after John B releases me. It is a simple gesture to an outsider, but with these two it means everything. John B is practically my brother and with him dating Sarah, and Rafe dating me, they both are trying to put in an effort.

“Here you two go.” Pope hands me and Rafe cups of beer that we gladly take.

A few drinks later, we depart for a dance near the fire. The music pulsates through my veins mixed with the alcohol and a nice buzz fills my senses. Rafe loops his arms around my waist and I pair mine around his neck. We sway to our own beat, not minding the people jumping around us. We are lost in our own world and we are the only two people who exist.

               Rafe’s eyes peer into mine as we rest our foreheads against each other. His lids close and I do the same, focusing on his hold on me. Warmth swarms over my body originating from his touch. I can’t wrap it around my head that I am with Rafe Cameron and that he can make me feel like I’m on top of the world. I only hope I can make him feel the same, that is often one of my insecurities. One that Rafe knows about and tries to assure me that I am more than enough for him.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Rafe whispers in my ear and places a kiss on the tip of my nose. I swear he can read my mind.

               Before I can say anything Rafe’s touch disappears from my body. I immediately open my eyes and find the back of a blonde standing between me and my boyfriend, JJ. The alcohol has me stumbling against the sand as I land against Rafe’s arm and he steadies me before putting my frame behind his. Always my protector.

               Rafe makes his stand but waits to see what JJ plans to do first. He knows that if he threw the first punch I would be mad. All I want is peace. Except I would not ask him to hold back if JJ started it first. He promised me, and so far he has kept his promise.

“You got the money, the job, and now the girl.” JJ’s words spread through the dry air, and people are beginning to take notice of a potential scuffle. Tears sting my eyes. Why is he making it sound like it is my fault I left him?

“Well Rafe if you plan on dating (Y/N) I want to fill you in on a few things.” JJ takes a step forward and I can feel Rafe’s muscles tense beneath my hands. JJ begins to speak but his gaze falls to me. “She always has trouble falling asleep, and she likes to cuddle while under the sheets.” JJ sends a wink my way and whistles from the accumulating audience fill the air. “She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV. There’s still a few other thin-“

“She loves love notes and babies,” Rafe interrupts. “And likes giving gifts. She has a hard time accepting a good complement. She loves her whole family and all of her friends… not that they deserve it.”

               I didn’t think it was possible for the air to get thicker than it has just now. JJ’s drunk eyes danced over me until Rafe unexpectedly interrupted. Both of our eyes cling to Rafe as he spoke but for two different reasons. My heart skips as Rafe reaches to grab my hand and gives it a light squeeze. I had no clue JJ was going to do something like this, but I am even more surprised at the fact Rafe has been paying attention this well. He continues to amaze me and all I want to do is kiss him.

“When she gives me her heart completely, I won’t break it like you did. (Y/N) is safe with me. I’ll stand by her side instead of sneaking off behind her back.” Rafe stares JJ down a few moments more before turning towards me.

His hands cup my cheeks and looks into my eyes silently asking if I’m okay. I nod to answer him and bring my hands up to rest against his wrists. Rafe places a soft but protective kiss against my forehead and whispers for us to go. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, he pulls me in close and nods his head toward a stunned John B.

The walk to the car is silent. Rafe opens my door for me and waits for me to climb in before closing it. He quickly joins me in the driver’s seat but doesn’t start the car. Instead he turns towards me, he eyes furrowed as he contemplates what he is going to say.

“I’m sorry if I over stepped.” Rafe’s voice is a whisper. “I know you can handle yourself, but I couldn’t let him do that. Act like he still has claim over you, that he is the only one who can know you.”

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You did everything right.” I lean over and let my hand cup his cheek, bringing his gaze back to mine.

“I meant everything I said.” His beautiful orbs pierce mine. “I want you to know that. I’m in it for the long game. I love you (Y/N).”

               His voice cracks and I can tell how scared he is to say that last part. We’ve only been dating a month but we have known each other for years. Staying the night with Sarah has usually ended up with late night talks with Rafe after she fell asleep. We are the unlikely duo but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I trust you.” I say and my face heats up with my smile. “I love you, Rafe.”

               It takes a moment for the words to register in Rafe’s ears but once they do pure shock and adoration quickly take over his features. He leans in and gifts me with a soft but passionate kiss. All his love and vulnerability is wrapped in every movement he makes with me and I can already tell this is forever.

[perfectsunlight]

[14] SOMETHING REAL

warnings: none

jennie didn’t sleep. it wasn’t a matter of if she could, it was a matter of her not wanting to. she couldn’t remember the last time her daughter slept in her embrace, and she didn’t want to waste this rare opportunity. as she watched jane’s peaceful face, she felt a pang of regret. 

she wished she could turn back time, to be a better mother from the start. it was hard to think that at ivory’s age, jennie was already a mother. the idol knew she did the best she could with her circumstance, but it still pained her to know her role as a mother should’ve been more of a priority.

the house was silent, save for the soft hum of the refrigerator and the occasional rustle of leaves outside. jennie’s mind wandered back to the early days of jane’s life, the nicu visits, and the overwhelming love that had filled her heart the first time she saw her tiny daughter fighting for her life.

“i’m sorry, valentine,” jennie whispered, her voice barely audible. “i know i haven’t been the best mother to you. i’ve made so many mistakes.” jane, who was still resting her head on her mother’s shoulder, stirred slightly but didn’t open her eyes. the older woman took a deep breath, feeling the need to unburden her heart.

“there are so many things i should have done differently,” jennie continued, her voice still soft and barely above a whisper. “i was young and scared, and i thought giving you up would be the best thing for you. but when i saw you in that incubator, fighting so hard, i knew i couldn’t let you go.”

she paused, gently stroking her daughter’s hair that was the same shade as her own. genetics were a funny thing. jane was physically a carbon copy of her mother. from the eyes and the face, all the way to her hair and hands. 

but even jennie knew her daughter’s personality came from her father. it was a bittersweet reminder of the man who had chosen not to be part of their lives.

“i’ve tried to be there for you in my own way, and i know you deserve so much more than i’ve been able to give. but i want you to know that i love you more than anything in this world.” the idol added, trying her best not to cry. she wouldn’t know what she’d say if her daughter saw her like this.

nevertheless, her own eyes betrayed her and welled up with tears. “you’re my everything, jane. and i’m so proud of the person you’re becoming. i just hope that one day, you can forgive me for not being the mother you needed.”

her tears flowed freely now, a silent testament to her sorrow and guilt, but also for her love for jane. the love of a mother who, despite her flaws and mistakes, wanted nothing more than to make things right. 

the blackpink member continued to stroke jane’s hair, her touch gentle and light as to not wake her sleeping daughter.  “i remember the first time i held you,” she murmured. “you were so tiny, so fragile. i was terrified. i didn’t know how i was going to take care of you, but i knew i had to try. i couldn’t let you go.”

she paused, taking a shaky breath. her emotions were all over the place, and even though ivory was fast asleep, she couldn't help but want to keep talking.  “every time i see you, i’m reminded of how lucky i am. you’ve grown into such an incredible young woman, and i’m so proud of you. i know i don’t say it enough, but i am.”

jennie’s voice wavered as she continued to reflect on her abilities as a mother. she had so many regrets, and she often wondered if that was just how being a parent is. you try your best, but still regret it all.  she hoped her daughter would understand how hard it was for her, too. 

“i know i’ve made so many mistakes, and i can’t change the past. but i want to be there for you now, in every way i can. i want to support you, to be someone you can rely on.” she gently wiped away her tears, her resolve strengthening. “i promise you, valentine, i’m not going to give up on you. i never have, and i never will. so even if you resent me for your entire life, just know that i will still be in your corner.”

jennie leaned down, pressing a kiss to jane’s forehead. “i love you more than words can say,” she whispered. “and i’m going to prove it to you, somehow, someway.”

the idol leaned back and shifted a bit so her daughter could sleep in her lap, and eventually jennie dozed off, too. however, jane was far from fast asleep.

as her mother’s breathing evened out, signaling that she had fallen asleep, ivory allowed herself to relax slightly. she shifted gently, making sure not to wake her mother, and stared up at the ceiling while tears fell from her eyes.

As the tears continued to fall, Ivory reflected on the countless times she had felt neglected, the moments she had resented Jennie for not being there, and the times she had wished for a different mother. Hearing her mother's heartfelt confession shattered those beliefs and replaced them with a confusing mix of emotions.

she recalled the times she had wished for a different life, for a mother who was more present and involved. but now, she realized that perhaps her mother had always been trying, in her own way, to be there for her. 

it wasn’t perfect, and it certainly wasn’t what jane had envisioned, but it was something real.

after what felt like forever, and with her mother’s words still echoing in her mind, jane drifted back into a more peaceful sleep, feeling a little less alone and a little more loved.

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CLOSED.

[iwritefandomimagines]

FIRST AND LAST — PRINCE FRIEDRICH

masterlist

pairing: prince friedrich x reader

description: it has been tradition all season long that prince friedrich occupies your first and last dance of every evening. it is well known that his engagement is looming, so no man dares ask to take these dances from him. that is, until one clueless lord makes that awkward mistake.

warnings: pure fluff, tiny bit of jealousy from my sweet prince, but predominantly pure, tooth-rotting fluff !

“The season is almost over,” Daphne Bridgerton hummed, flitting her fan across her chest as you stood at the edge of the ballroom, “Do you think the prince might propose this evening?”

You laughed, watching as the prince eyed you from across the floor despite dancing with another young lady.

“I hope so,” you replied, pure happiness in your tone as you thought of the future you had discussed so extensively with the man who had won your heart with such ease, “Though he himself requested a long courtship. Oh, Daph, you should’ve heard him. He told me he was certain he was falling in love with me and wished to wed, but that he wanted to prolong our courtship to ensure I too was certain.”

“Gosh, Y/N, how romantic,” Daphne grinned.

“He is absolutely a dream,” you fanned yourself now too, growing flushed at the thought of just how deeply your feelings for the Prussian prince ran, “I of course told him I feel the same regardless, but he said that though he’d wed me in a heartbeat, it was fun to pretend we were still in the early stages of courting. And of course, I save every first and last dance for him and only him.”

Daphne was swooning at the prospect, and given her confusing situation regarding her ruse with the Duke, their sudden marriage, and how in love they quite clearly were, you were unsurprised that she was so excited to hear that your blossoming relationship was thriving so.

“Speaking of which, my dear friend,” she lifted your dance card from your wrist to see that as ever Prince Friedrich’s name graced the bottom of your card, “It appears you have danced with all others.”

As you looked away from her, you saw the prince smile in your direction, sending your heart into an absolute frenzy, “He appears to be on his way over!”

Before he could cross the floor, however, a gentleman you barely recognised obscured your view of the man you loved, stepping directly in front of you with a smile on his face.

“Lady Y/N,” the man bowed, “I am Lord Francis. I apologise for never making your acquaintance sooner, for my work and travels delayed my arrival in the Ton,” he took your hand to kiss its back, and as he leaned to do so you saw the prince behind him with a frown on his face, now mere meters away, “You are truly a diamond, and I should most certainly wish to know you more. You cannot imagine my relief upon seeing that you were yet unbetrothed. Might I have your next dance, my lady?”

You swallowed thickly, looking to Daphne for help but finding that she had slipped away amidst his little speech.

You were tempted to scoff at the man’s audacity to so abruptly ask of a dance at the end of the evening when he had chosen so late in the hall to introduce himself. And, of course, you were entirely uninterested.

Before you had the opportunity to respond, however, Prince Friedrich was at the man’s side.

“Ah, Lady Y/N,” he bowed, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it that lingered as he looked up at you and made you swoon, “Each time I see you in that necklace I am reminded why I selected it for you. It was made for you, to be sure.”

You giggled shyly, both feeling giddy around the man you loved and at the clear reason for his choice of words. He was here to assert his place, jealousy coursing through his royal blood.

“Oh your highness,” you curtsied, “Thank you again for the beautiful gift. I was wondering when you might return to share my last dance, as always. I do so look forward to it,” you flashed your dance card to the rather impertinent Lord Francis with a falsified frown, “I do apologise, my lord, but I have not yet shared my final dance with anyone but the Prince. And I do not wish to change that tradition.”

The gentleman scampered away without another word, leaving the prince to capture you in his arms and lead you to the dance floor.

“I am certainly glad to be rid of that fool,” he grumbled, and you reached up to run your thumb along his cheekbone soothingly, internally frustrated that the action would end up in Lady Whistledown’s writings the next day.

Your voice was barely above a whisper, “Oh my love, you needn’t worry. You know that if I could I would dance only with you the entire night.”

The prince was more than satisfied with this, a broad smile gracing his strong features as you continued the rhythm of the waltz you found yourself in.

“I am pleased to hear that, to be sure,” he beamed, “And once this dance is through, I hoped we might have a moment to talk. Perhaps on the balcony?”

You nodded softly, “Any moment with you, I could never deny myself.”

He smiled, and as the dance drew to a close you found yourself growing nervous.

Had this small moment of jealousy spurred on a proposal? Or perhaps he had always intended to propose tonight?

Perhaps it was not a proposal at all, and he just wished for some fresh air and a chance to chatter away from the eyes and ears of the ballroom?

You caught Daphne’s eye as you followed the prince outside, noticing her eyes widen in excitement as she too expected you to return to the ballroom engaged.

You bit your lip, allowing yourself to share her excitement for just a moment before nerves slipped into your mind again.

You reached the balcony after what felt like hours, with time seeming to progress in slow motion as you waited to hear what it was the prince wished to discuss.

“My dearest Lady Y/N,” he began, capturing both of your hands in his as his eyes twinkled down at you in the moonlight, “You must know that since we met, you have been the sun around which I revolve. You captured my heart the very moment I first saw you, and with every discussion of a future I have grown more certain that it is with you I wish to build a life, a home, a family,”

“Oh my dear prince,” you were certain you could taste blood, your heart pounding with anticipation as it truly sunk in just what was going on, “You must know that the feeling has always been entirely reciprocated. Every moment I have spent with you has been blissful, and I rather selfishly wish for an eternity of such moments.”

He shook his head, “It is not at all selfish, my dove. For it is what I wish for too. An eternity with the love of my life at my side, wherever we might find ourselves.”

You shared a brief moment of comfortable silence, staring into each other’s eyes as you could think about nothing but his gentle touch and romantic words.

He was everything you could’ve dreamed of in a man, and now here he was professing that he too was enamoured by you.

Even though he had made it quite clear how he felt before, in this very second everything felt as though it fell perfectly into place.

The true love you always dreamed of finding but never expected to… He was right here, about to ask for your hand and sweep you off of your feet.

“It is for this very reason, my love,” he began again, keeping his hold of your left hand but dropping to his knee in a split second, “That I find myself desperate to ask — will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“My gosh!” you exclaimed, nodding excitedly as he slipped the most beautiful ring onto your finger and rose to his feet again, “I would love to. I can think of no future more exciting than one as your wife.”

He kissed your hand again, now peppering kisses around the ring he had just given you, sending sparks throughout your body at his delicate touch.

“I cannot wait to begin our life together properly, as man and wife,” he grinned, reaching to push a stray hair from your face as he spoke, “Free of meddlesome gentlemen who have no regard for one’s prior commitment.”

“My darling, you truly had no need to worry,” you giggled, lifting your free hand to your mouth to stifle it a little, “He could not hold a candle to you, and I would never have given up my dance with you for him. I wish always for my first and last dance to be with you… And every dance in between.”

He pulled you flush to his chest now, spinning you softly to the faint sound of the orchestral tune still playing in the ballroom.

“Then my every dance is yours, my love,” he hummed, discreetly pressing a gentle kiss to your temple as he spun you around, “Always and forever.”

“I love you,” you were truly in a state of pure bliss as you danced, choosing to ignore that you were most certainly being watched, “More than I can ever express.”

“I love you as such also, my future princess,” he replied, pausing your dance just to look at you intently again for just a second before he spoke, “And I shall spend our whole life showing you.”

“I am so incredibly lucky to have fallen in love with you,” you shook your head in disbelief, still smiling up at him.

“It is I who is lucky,” he disagreed, looking up into the night sky littered with stars, “And the stars in the sky are lucky to every day be graced with your existence too.”

“You flatter me, my love.”

“And I intend to continue to remind you how wonderful you are, my dove,” he practically whispered, dipping his head lower so that you could feel his breath fanning over your face, though not close enough to induce any more scandal than your balcony dance might already have done.

“It’s a pleasure to be forever your first and last dance… And I can only hope to be your first and last love, if you would let me. For you most certainly shall be mine.”

“You shall be mine too, my love. I am certain of it.”

———

ok fluffy af because i am currently in looove with the prince and idk where it came from but i had to write this once i had the idea!!!

if you have any requests (right now preferably bridgerton, djats or criminal minds) then please feel free to send them in and i’ll make a start this week!

also pleaaase let me know in comments/reblogs what you think!

in the meantime, here is my masterlist!

[its-your-mind]

This is a call to action for all the PJO girlies (gender neutral) that I know are sleeper agents on this webbed site

Go read Trials of Apollo. Go do it. Do it right now.

I know what you’re thinking. “Tbh I didn’t love Rick’s writing towards the end of Heroes of Olympus” “There’s no Percy so why bother” “All of the Argo II crew are kinda OOC” and listen my friends. You are so valid to have those opinions. I felt the same way after Blood of Olympus. But listen to me. Look at me.

Now that you have had some time away, you must give these books another try. For me. For Uncle Rick. For the demon baby grain spirit who is only able to say his own name (Peaches).

Do not worry friends, I do not expect you to read just based on my say-so - I also provide:

A list of reasons why you (yes you) should go read the Trials of Apollo series right now gogogo:

(Spoiler warning - all broad plot things that you learn early on, but I know some people (including me) avoid that shit at all costs)

All the chapters are titled in bad haiku. Ya know that one scene in Titan’s Curse where Apollo just starts reciting apropos of nothing? That’s every chapter title. They’re all so bad it’s amazing.

Apollo is so up his own ass about everything, and it’s so cool to experience the same world through the eyes of someone who is not used to being in amongst the chaos

Oh yeah the plot. That’s a reason to read it.

Okay so

Basically Zeus continues his streak of being a shitty shit parent and decides to blame like… every bad thing that has happened on Apollo, and punish him by turning him mortal and enslaving him to a demigod girl named Meg who is a garbage gremlin with a little demon baby guard named Peaches (see above)

And like the A plot is they gotta save the oracles from shitty old Romans who wanna take over the world (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)

But like the B plot is about what it means to discover that you’ve fucked up, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve hurt people, and you gotta fucking own up to that shit

But also

You do not deserve to be punished for every horrible thing that has ever happened because of you, or even around you, and when a parental or authority figure in your life tells you that, they are an abuser and they are wrong

And yet

It can be so hard to fully separate yourself from them. Because for so long, they were all you had.

But that’s okay, because when you start to learn that the people who were supposed to care for you and love you were not actually doing that, there are people around you who will love you, who will support you, who will pick you up and hold you close and make sure you know that you are okay

And they can’t fix you

But they can give you the safe space to fix yourself

hmm that was an essay about themes and metaphors BUT THATS WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT

also there’s a wikipedia arrow who only speaks in Elizabethan prose (in all caps)

OH ALSO ALSO you get to see Will and Nico being a CUTE AS FUCK couple in the first book. Nico smiles. Also makes skeletons grow out of the ground when people annoy him. Fuck I love this little gay death boy so much.

AND. You get to see so MANY of your old friends. And they still! Get! Plot! And! Character! Development!! Even though they are only there for a little bit

OH OH OH there are two old lesbians who run a halfway house for people who are tangled up in magic shit with nowhere else to go

Did I mention Peaches? I did. He’s my favorite.

OH ALSO. This is “unreliable narrator” executed SO FUCKING WELL. Like, all narrators are unreliable. But Apollo used to be a FUCKING GOD. He has not had to deal with the reality of death all that much. He’s used to people praising his name and bowing down at his feet. But that ain’t happening!! And he is Unhappy about that!! But it also lets there be such a clear juxtaposition between what Apollo believes about himself and about the world and what is really true, which is such a wonderful way to write about recovery from trauma.

Ahem

Anyway it’s just real good Uncle Rick continues to knock it out of the park but he just did something different and we (at least I) needed some space from OG PJO fan brain before I could appreciate how fucking awesome this series is.

OH OH OH and if you like audiobooks Robbie Daymond (hello CR mutuals - yes, this is the one who is our beloved Blue Boi who we (Orym) so desperately need returned) is the audiobook narrator and he is. So fucking good. Absolutely NAILS the dramatic-ass-inner-monologue of this dramatic ass ex-deity. Also nails all the other voices as well. 15/10 audiobook narration I’m lichrally gonna go listen to other books JUST cuz he reads them.

okay why the fuck are you still here. GO. GET THESE BOOKS. If your public library does Libby you can absolutely get them on there. GO FORTH.

[obae-me]

I saw your post about the characters with a traumatized MC and the part about the angels made me start thinking about how they'd handle an MC who has religious trauma (because I thought that was where it was going in your post)

MC avoiding Simeon and Luke because everything related to heaven creeps them out (they're legit scared of angels, god, etc) and feeling way too comfortable living in the devildom and being around demons because they "always knew they were going to end up in hell when they died" because that's what was hammered into their head growing up or something

that would sure change the cast's views on human religion huh?

Yes, absolutely. I can't remember if I mentioned it before or just kept that brainworm tucked safely inside my skull, but I think about this a lot. Namely, because I have SO much religious trauma (yippie!).

I've thought a lot about how the Celestial Realm harbors a lot of the same toxicity that certain organized religions have the tendancy to exhibit here on good ol earth. I mean, we've seen some things in game that suggest that things aren't all rainbows and roses up there. The way that Luke talks early game suggests a lot. And so I'm sure a religiously traumatized MC would have SUCH a hard time around the angels at first. (I actually had my own reservations with the angels when they were first introduced and I even kind of disliked Luke a ton before I eventually took a step back and thought about the fact that he's just a BABY who is just spitting out ideals that were shoved into his head. It's not his fault, and I think his character development is something that the fandom does not address enough. I'm so proud of him!! Having your expectations of the world be broken and then having to relearn everything you thought you knew is actually SO hard.)

MC getting along well or feeling more comfortable with demons because they don't feel like they're being judged or under the watchful eyes of others.

MC talking about "not being as afraid to come back" VERY early on in game and the other characters taking WAY too long to realize they mean come to purgatory after they pass, and the demons themselves don't feel good about knowing that.

MC avoiding certain sins/pleasures/temptations due to the fear that's been embedded in them over it. Even if those things are COMPLETELY normal and harmless to enjoy.

All of the characters being extremely patient and understanding about this sort of thing and very slowly chipping away at certain stigmas they still hold onto, making the human feel safe while they do.

MC avoiding Simeon because of mixed feelings of shame and maybe a bit of resentment and then eventually learning that he's actually such a down to earth and sweet guy and spending more time with him just to learn that he's been in many similar situations is so...so good to think about. Learning that he'll never force certain ideologies onto them, that he doesn't see them as someone who needs to be "saved". A human and an angel sitting together and discussing what being "good" really means. Sharing confessions to each other that they've both held on their backs for such a long time because they've been too ashamed of themselves and confused to heal from it alone. They're not a sinner and a Saint, they're just normal people who make mistakes and want to do good in the world.

I do have many thoughts on this clearly...

[jflemingology]

Flexing | Jessie Fleming x Reader

In which: Jessie is putting in some extra work in the gym, and you start to notice it – in more ways than one

Warnings: SMUT (18+), fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving), dirty talk

WC: 2.6K

A/N: I started writing this and didn't stop until it was finished, lol. Hope you enjoy! Not proofread as always, sorry for any mistakes! Requests are open for the moment :D

Divider: @cafekitsune

You didn't know how long you had been scrolling through Tiktok, but an ache starting to form in your thumb for the repetitive scrolling motion gave you a slight idea. Your partner on the other end of the sofa wasn't much better. Her body dancing in between sleeping and some one-eyed watching of some rewatch of a show she had seen plenty of times before.

You and Jessie loved days like these. Her schedule didn't allow much downtime, so when she did get a day off that aligned with one of yours, you'd make the most of it by reveling in each other's presence all day.

This morning started, like every single day off, by needing about 7 tries before you were able to wiggle out of your girlfriend's hold. Jessie was used to rising early for her morning training sessions, but when she wasn't on the clock it was a chore to get her out of bed. After many kisses and promises of more cuddles downstairs, you finally got her to get up from under the covers.

You took a shower together, 'to save water', but the water you would've saved got wasted anyway seen as you spent way too long in there. You washing Jessie's curls, Jessie washing your body, feeling each other up – by the time you got out of the shower it was nearing lunch time.

Neither of you felt like cooking, so you ordered in from Jessie's favorite brunch place. She got her usual sandwich, you tried a new type of toast and both were delicious. You had lunch on the couch, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying each other's company for as long as it lasted.

Not being able to fight the post-lunch daze, you took a nap together. You curled up into Jessie's chest and she traced patterns on her back until you both fell asleep for a couple hours, which has led you both to the situation you were in now.

You'd woken up from your shared nap about half an hour ago, but hadn't moved yet. You still had your face nuzzled into your girlfriend's neck, but were now mindlessly scrolling your phone. Your girlfriend on the other hand, was still in and out of sleep while Friends was playing on the tv. She'd seen it so many times, she could probably recite whole episodes if she tried.

As much as you would've loved to doze back off to sleep in Jessie's warm embrace, you started to feel like you were wasting too much of your day away. You went over some ideas in your head, until you settled on wanting to bake a cake. You looked up some recipes and once you found one that you were satisfied with and had all the ingredients for, you slowly peeled Jessie's arms from around your waist and got up, trying not to wake your Canadian.

Mission successful, as you got up from the couch without a stir from Jessie. You made your way over to the kitchen and started grabbing all the ingredients necessary for the cake, trying to make as little sound as possible.

You connected your phone to the kitchen speaker and softly played some music so that you had some background noise while baking.

You cracked a couple eggs in a bowl, to which you added sugar and flour before you started mixing them all together. You zoned out a little while whisking, not paying attention to your surroundings as suddenly you squealed as a pair of arms sneaked around your waist.

"Jessie Alexandra Fleming," you whisper-yelled, "warn a girl, will you?"

She snickered and hid her face in your neck, while tightening her grip on your waist. You felt her lips pressing tender kisses to the exposed skin there.

"Better not distract me if you want this cake to be any good later, Jess."

"Come back to the couch with me", she started. You sighed and turned in her arms, pressing your nose against hers. "Nope", you said while popping the p.

"I'm making us a cake, you can go back if you want though," you teased while looking at her innocently.

She shook her head to that, both you and her knowing she'd rather be here in the kitchen helping you with the cake than lounging on the couch for the nth rewatch of her show.

"Hand me the bowl, baby. I'll do the rest of the mixing so you can start on the next step." You pressed a tender kiss to her cheek as you slid the bowl over to her across the counter, and checked back with the recipe on your phone.

You were about to speak up and ask Jessie if you had vanilla extract, when your words got caught in your throat. You had turned back to the counter where your girlfriend was whisking the mixture, but your attention was pulled by something else.

You knew Jessie had been going the extra mile in the gym lately, but you hadn't seen any results yet, up until now.

She was wearing one of her old UCLA t-shirts – one you had grown to love a lot on her anyway –, that revealed her biceps. They had been one of your favorite features about her for a while, but they had grown. And they were showing.

Her biceps were flexing deliciously while she was mixing the ingredients in the bowl, and you couldn't help but stare. Either she caught on and was teasing you, or was being very oblivious, but right on cue she rolled up her sleeves. You cleared your throat and turned away from her, turning your focus back on the recipe and decided to look for the vanilla extract yourself.

Jessie shot you a look. "You okay, baby?"

You didn't trust your voice not to waver if you spoke right now, so you resorted to humming and giving her a small smile from behind the door of the cupboard you were reaching for the vanilla extract in.

She frowned but let it go, going back to the task at hand. You were both in your own world now, finishing your sides of the recipe before you came back together at the end and added some finishing touches before the cake was ready to be baked.

Jessie put the cake in the pre-heated oven and you closed the door, putting a timer for 35 minutes from now.

She stood up and turned around, but before she even registered what was happening you pushed her back against the fridge, pressing a hungry kiss against her lips. You wasted no time and slipped your tongue inside Jessie's mouth, exploring it like it was the last time you would ever get to kiss her.

You pulled back when you needed some air, and Jessie pressed a hand against your chest just as you were to lean in again. "Hey," she started as she let out a light chuckle, "as much as I like this, what happened? What's got you so worked up?"

You rolled your eyes and felt your cheeks growing red before you hid your face in Jessie's chest. "Yourbicepslookedhot", you mumbled almost incoherently against her body. "What's that, love? Speak up for me." She knew what she was doing and she knew it was only gonna spur on your arousal. You groaned and pulled your head away from her chest, before looking her in the eyes. "Your biceps."

"What about them?" she questioned. You rolled your eyes. "They're hot," you sighed, "I can tell you've been working on them. I noticed it whilst you were mixing the ingredients earlier and it got to me a little."

Jessie couldn't hide the smug grin that was forming on her face. "So you like my biceps, huh?"

If your cheeks weren't red before, you knew they would be now. You nodded and moved your hands over to her arms, rubbing them up and down before you gave her biceps a light squeeze. She subtly flexed them while your hands were wandering all over them, knowing it would get you even more worked up.

You pulled Jessie's hips against you and subconsciously started rolling yours against them while you pressed another kiss against her lips. She slid her hands over your back down over your ass, halting right underneath it and giving the back of your thigh a light tap signaling you to jump.

Jessie picked you up as you did, and moved the two of you out of the kitchen and back to the couch. She placed you both down and hovered on top of you, teasing you as she wouldn't lean back in to kiss you. You circled your arms around her neck and pulled her down abruptly, her body flush against you as you let out a gasp at the feelings of her hips against yours.

She ducked her head down and pressed tender kisses against your neck, biting down every now and then before using her tongue to soothe the sing, something that never failed to get a desperate moan out of you. Jessie knew all your spots. She knew where to push, kiss, bite or lick to get you weak in the knees, and that is knowledge she loved putting to use.

You tugged at Jessie's curls when she sucked eagerly on the sensitive spot in your neck, feeling her smile against your skin as you did so. She sat up and traced her fingers down your body until she reached the hem of your shirt, which she lifted asking for permission to take it off. You nodded, sitting up and gesturing her to take her clothes off too before the both of you laid back down, now without a border of clothes separating your bodies.

She immediately got back to work and started placing featherlight kisses on your collarbone, your chest and on your bra-covered breasts. "Can I take this off?", she mumbled in between kisses.

You only just managed to breathe out a "yeah" before Jessie eagerly unclasped your bra and discarded it somewhere in the living room. You knew you would scold her when one of you inevitably tripped over it later, but you could not be bothered less about that right now. You gasped as she attached her mouth to your nipple and began licking and sucking on the sensitive nub.

"Jess," you breathed, "I need you". You knew you sounded desperate but you couldn't care right now.

"Patience, darling. I got you," she whispered against your sensitive, wet nipples. She trailed open-mouthed kisses down your body until she reached your underwear. You lifted your hips in a silent question, allowing her to slip off the last piece of clothing off of your body.

"You're soaked," she whispered as she teasingly slid one finger through your folds. You crossed your arm over your face in attempt to hide the blush that was creeping up your cheeks.

You were expecting a snarky comment, but instead you were met with a slow, teasing lap of Jessie's tongue against your wet core.

You couldn't hold back the near embarrassing moan that formed in your throat at the first contact with her tongue. She skipped all the teasing and playing around and dove straight in, clearly just as worked up as you were.

Jessie held your thighs to steady herself as you instinctively spread them wider for her. She was expertly sucking and flicking at the exposed bundle of nerves, ducking down every now and then to lick a long stripe of arousal through your folds.

"I need more," you whispered. Jessie hummed into your pussy, acknowledging your request. She placed a finger against your entrance, collecting some of your arousal before slowly dipping one inside of you.

You let out a breathy moan, reveling in the feeling of being filled by your girlfriend. "Fuck baby, you feel so good around my fingers. Always so nice and tight for me."

Jessie wasn't a very outspoken person. Not with others, but she could also be really quiet around you. Although it seemed like sex turned her into a different person. It was one thing that she could be really loud and vocal when on the receiving end, but it was another thing when you discovered how much of a dirty talker she was when pleasuring you.

You moaned at her words, throwing your head back as she filled you to the hilt. She slowly withdrew her fingers to which you whined, but before you could speak up she added a second finger and slammed back into you. Your breath got caught in your throat as Jessie started pistoning her index and ring finger in and out of your wet entrance.

Soon enough you felt the ever so familiar sensation of a tying knot building in your stomach, and you knew Jessie could feel it too on her fingers. Your walls would start pulling her in, close in on her fingers as she tried her best to keep up the speed and intensity of her thrusts as you came to your high.

"Jess", you started before a particularly good thrust of her fingers cut your sentence short. "Jessie, I'm gonna cum, you're gonna make me cum."

This was quick for you. You weren't someone who needed much anyway, but it was almost embarrassing how little work Jessie had to do to get you over the edge today.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my fingers."

She looked up at you from between your legs and you swear you could feel yourself get even wetter at the sight. Her hair was disheveled and all over the place from having been between your thighs, her chin was slick with arousal and she had a toothy grin plastered on her face, that you found more attractive than you'd like to admit.

She ducked her face back down and gave a couple more hard thrusts of her fingers before you felt your body tense up, your thighs clenching around her head and your fingers tugging at her curls, to a point where you knew it must have hurt her a little. But you couldn't care less. Not when she just brought you to a state of pure bliss and was carrying it out as long as possible by continuing her thrusts slowly, lapping up the arousal that leaked out of you as your orgasmed.

Jessie only stopped her ministrations when you put a hand on one of her arms holding your thigh, to signal that you were getting too sensitive. You closed your eyes and leant your head back against the armrest of the couch. "Fuck, Jess. That was so good."

You didn't even have to look at your girlfriend to know that she was more than likely sporting a cocky grin as she crawled back up your body. "Okay if I pull out?"

You nodded but couldn't hold back the soft hiss that escaped your lips as she pulled her fingers out of your entrance, nearing a state of overstimulation. She grabbed your chin with one hand and made sure you were watching her, as she licked the two fingers that were just inside of you. She put them in her mouth and sucked off all the remaining arousal that were on them before laying down on your chest and pressing a soft kiss against the underside of your jaw.

You were still catching your breath when she spoke up. "I will never ever get tired of making you cum," she smiled and kissed your puckered lips.

"Well, I don't know how but it feels like you get better at it every single time we have sex", she snickered and buried her head in your chest, back to her usual shy self.

"It's the biceps, for sure." "Oh, is it now? Better thank the coach then." "Talking about my coach after sex? Damn, way to ruin the mood." "Oh, I'll fix the mood don't you worry."

You abruptly flipped the two of you around so you were now straddling Jessie's waist, leaning down to press a few kisses against her neck and ear.

"We're not done yet."

[mudandmire]

Contrasts

Azris Week - Day One: Contrasts

~~~ Hello hello! I found the Azris ship and the community this year and have absolutely been consumed by it. I love this idea, I love these two characters, and I love that there's so much potential between them and for them to feed and inspire such a wonderful community. I've never participated in the acotar fandom apart from this, and I'm so excited! Thank you so much to @azrisweek for putting together this event, I have had so much fun letting my brain run free like a dog off a leash with these prompts :D ~~~

Tell me

Azriel calls him tatlım, and Eris doesn’t know what it means.

It’s a secret, he supposes he can accept it—relate to it. Nooks and hidden corners itch and snarl with the weight of his own. An enchanted drawer he keeps in the washroom holds his greatest wonder and his greatest shame.

The journal weighs heavy in Eris’s mind. He traces back the parchment pages with intangible fingers during lulls in his father’s council meetings. The drone of bees, lazy and fat in the afternoon sun becomes the hushed whisper of a canyon gale through dried grass. The lines he inks, stroke by stroke, Azriel matches in full, thrumming strides. Words next to his are clean, unbroken, while Azriel’s remain thick, written in charcoal with smudges at the corners from where his fist has run over the line.

When it’s dark, a time when even shadows cannot creep and loom larger, Eris presses his own fingertips to those words. The smears of charcoal because Azriel had told him early on in their budding friendship when they were young that he can’t use quills.

“They're too thin, my hands shake too much.” A smaller version of Azriel speaks the memory into his mind. The whorls and pockmarks on his hands hidden between the gap of his thighs.

Eris had taken it as a challenge—and now he revels in it. Azriel is messy with his charcoal pencil, too free with his mistakes and smudges and it leaves Eris half a country away and entirely breathless.

‘Tell me what bothers you, tatlım.�� Azriel had written him earlier, the familiar scrawl of his heavy hand appearing stroke by stroke in the filled pages of Eris’s enchanted journal.

Two were made, Eris gave one away. He could not bring himself to regret it even if his life were on the line.

‘Tatlım?’ Eris had asked, his letters looped and coiled together in the way they get when he rushes, when he needs answers.

There was no sound save for Eris’s own steady pulse, the whistle of air through his nose as he waited for a response. And yet he could’ve swore he heard Azriel’s laugh, the breathy one, brush against the point of his ear.

The words appear in the space between one breath and the next: ‘Maybe one day, gach’lilit, I will tell you. For now, stop avoiding my prying.’

Eris places a hand on the rise of his chest. Holding in something that seems to be rising from his stomach to his throat and lands gently on his tongue like the orange and black patterned butterflies in the garden.

‘Tell me now,’ he begs, ‘and I will tell you whatever you wish, Azriel.’

‘Come back to visit me, sweetheart. That’s all I ask.’

It had formed a pause in their effortless back and forth. Eris wanted to—Azriel knew that. No, the issue wasn’t in Azriel’s plea, he knew just how much Eris longed for the little village in the Illyrian steppes. The stable in the field and the small, knobby kneed, black lamb that follows Azriel around like ducklings in the Forest House pond in spring. He misses the creeping, ruby red moss and the yellow and sage aspens that crop up from out of the golden plains like the jagged teeth of a cliff.

Most of all, most desperately of all, he misses Azriel. There is not one inch of his soul that doesn’t.

The inked tip of his quill hangs over the page, a knife poised for the final push. Through skin, muscle, bone, to the heart of everything—the rot that waits, festering under the floorboards of his adamant desire to run. It is one thing; it is also a collection of things Eris has stored like the most gruesome of trinkets, the most harrowing of trophies.

Because Azriel calls him sweetheart. He writes in his tongue letters of longing and punctuates them with words like tatlım, and gach’lilit. As much as Eris wants to stitch those given titles to his chest, he already has one.

Eris Vanserra. Heir of Fire. Son of Autumn.

Sweetheart. Tatlım. Gach’lilit.

He cannot have both. The heir who wears the crown, who feels it’s golden spiked thorns pierce the thin skin of his head knows this. Eris Vanserra was not born with room on his chest for titles other than this: his father’s son.

When his quill meets the page, a heaviness in his hand that wasn’t previously there, he knows Azriel already knows what he will write.

‘Soon,’ he lies, ‘when the festival of the summer sun comes, I’ll visit.' Eris Vanserra cannot flaunt about the wilds of the Night Court without purpose or reason. Even less if the hint of the reason is his desire to see an Illyrian male—but he can set out on inter-court business to strengthen alliances, break down information, and gather intel. Eris Vanserra cannot winnow straight from the quilts of his bed into the hay-strewn floor of Azriel’s stable.

No matter how much he wants to.

His chest pinches, a sharp point digging into the sensitive skin between his ribs when Azriel takes a minute longer to reply. The page remaining horribly empty with their spare words, their delicate dance.

‘Then I will just have to hold onto these words a little longer, besheirt. I wish for you to hear them in person, for they are as sacred to me as you are.’

Something cracks, folds then splinters and out pours a smile like evening sunlight through the painted colors of autumn leaves in the canopy. The tension building in his shoulders leaks down and pools around his feet, an unwanted puddle he completely forgets about. Eris may be an heir, a son of autumn, and child of a loveless, forced marriage; but he is also sacred. Something holy and divine by only the rights of Azriel, and Azriel alone.

Eris has his titles. The stitched corners of his heart taken up piece by piece, but he will forever play the game of keeping himself in between the two if it will let him keep Azriel.

He has his own titles to give him.

~~///~~///~~///~~

(Key for words:)

Tatlım - ‘Sweetheart’

Gach’lilit - ‘Firefly’

Besheirt - ‘Notion of a soul mate, but mostly means Intended in terms of spouse’

aH. Alright okay cool I'm so normal about them. This is a short little thing, and it doesn't follow canon lore lol sorry about that. I really loved the idea of contrasts because for me it's what first drew me to this pairing. At first it seemed like there were too many contrasts for them to even be compatible, and then through softening my perspective of both of these characters and their flaws (and no small amount of delusion in which we merely squint from afar at SJMs portrayal of these characters) I found that maybe these contrasts actually enhance their chemistry. what crazy imagine that.

[atlabeth]

i'm with you | nikolai lantsov

summary: everything is falling apart around you, but the world is quiet for a moment as you and nikolai share a sunrise together.

a/n: this is a lil sequel to bad luck! it takes place 3 years after at the beginning of siege and storm, after rusalye is killed and the darkling is mutinied off the volkvolny lol. idk where this came from but i really wanted to write something for nikolai because im done with finals and kept my 4.0 and he makes me happy! so i hope you enjoy this short lil thing

wc: 1.5k

warning(s): fem!reader, slight bit of angst, mentions of death and fighting, but this is very light hurt/comfort so nothing really bad goes on

“I should have known this is where I’d find you.” 

Nikolai’s voice rang out from behind you, clear and strong in the silence of an early morning. Nothing but you, him, and the sea, the way it had been for nearly three years now. 

You weren’t ready to lose it.

“I needed some time,” you said, gaze remaining on the horizon, sunrise on the brink. “A lot has been going on.” 

“An understatement,” Nikolai said wryly. His footsteps could hardly be heard against the wood as he walked over to you, choosing to lean his back against the railing in opposition to you supporting yourself with your forearms. He didn’t look at you, but his presence was more than enough. “How have you been holding up?” 

“Better than most can say,” you said. “Certainly better than our guests.” 

He chuckled. “I believe the Sun Summoner has wished death on me more than once.” 

“Have you seen the way her tracker looks at you?” you asked. “That man wants you dead.” 

You could see his grin out of the corner of your eye. “A spirited pair, to be sure. I’m lucky they haven’t actually made an attempt.” 

“As if I would let them get close,” you said wryly. “I take my duties as your second-in-command very seriously.” 

This time, you felt his eyes on you. “A misfortune you’ve been only my second for these past few weeks.” 

You sighed. The vast expanse of the sea, just beginning to glow with the light of the sunrise, seemed much lonelier. 

The past month had been… difficult, to say the least. And certainly lonely. 

The Darkling—General of the Second Army, Grisha of the greatest renown, and one side of the Ravkan civil war—had hired Nikolai’s crew to take him and his Grisha through the Bone Road in search of the mythical sea whip Rusalye. Nikolai decided to go along with it, but the plan he’d cooked up with you and the crew was something truly idiotic. If you all could pull it off, though, it would be the start of Ravka’s saving grace. 

The general was not a generous man beyond the coin he put up. He practically took over the ship, ruminating with an imposing power everywhere he went. You supposed it wasn’t difficult to lead an army when you could intimidate your way through everything in your path. 

And he recognized you. Looked you over in a way that made your skin crawl, greeted you by name, asked if your parents knew where you were. You resisted the urge to spit in his face—years of etiquette lessons worn into your bones were the only thing that kept a practiced smile on your lips. 

He just wanted to get under your skin, try to unsettle you, maybe hoped he could reveal your truth to anyone who still might not have known to sow division in the crew. You lied to his face and all he did was chuckle and move on. 

The Darkling left you alone from then on, but Nikolai refused to take any chances. He made the decision to hide your relationship, to hide any form of closeness beyond your being his second—”the last thing I need is you being targeted for any mistakes I make,” he’d said, and you had no objections. 

The Darkling had unnerved you since the first time you’d met him as a teenager. The insanity that flickered in his eyes any time his hunt for the Sun Summoner was brought up—the insanity fully displayed when he finally had her in his grasp—was enough to make you keep your head down wherever and whenever possible. 

That was not to say it wasn’t difficult, though. The first night you spent alone rather than in his cabin was difficult, and you’d wondered if the ship had truly always been this cold. Your finger felt bare without its ring, and you always worried the necklace would somehow slip into view. Your hands itched for your dagger each time the Darkling threatened Nikolai, and you were sure his calming words afterwards were the only thing keeping you from doing something truly foolish. 

And now he was fully your enemy, Rusalye had been turned to fetters, and the Sun Summoner and her mystical tracker were below deck in a very shaky alliance. 

Things were certainly never boring with Nikolai, at least. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when he said your name, and you finally looked over at him. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, milaya?” he asked softly. “Tolya did patch up all your wounds, didn’t he?” 

“Perfectly,” you confirmed with a nod. “It’s just…” 

“Talk to me, my love.” Nikolai reached out and took your hand, the callouses from years spent as a privateer a comfort by now. “You know I’m here for you, more now than ever.” 

Your gaze dropped down to your joined hands, and you let out a loose sigh. “We’re going back to Ravka,” you finally managed to say. “Back to the noble world.” 

“It does feel strange,” he murmured. “After years on the sea, free from any expectations. Free from being a Lantsov.” 

“Years away from my parents,” you said quietly. “They probably think I’m dead.” Your gaze flitted back up to meet his eyes, and you were struck by the warmth in them. “And I would have been, had it not been for you. Dead or much, much worse.”

“You can’t think like that,” he urged, pulling you closer. “You made your choice—we both have. And they brought us back together. That means they couldn’t have been wrong.”

“I left them, Nikolai.” Your chest tightened and you looked back out to the boundless waters. “Without a single word.” 

“I did the same,” he said wryly. “You somehow managed to forgive me.” 

You huffed a laugh and shook your head. “I’m just not the same girl I was when I left. I don’t want to be that girl—that duke’s daughter that smiles and curtsies her way through everything. I’m worried that they’ll try and push me right back into that box.” 

Nikolai scoffed. “As if they could even try.” 

In your silence, he gently tipped your chin so you could meet his eyes. 

“You’re my second in command,” he said. “You’ve taken quicker to all of this than any member of any crew I’ve seen. And when you’re focused on something, you’re a sure sight to see. You’re not the girl that they raised—you’ve forged yourself into your own woman. If they have any sense at all, they’ll be the proudest parents in all of Ravka.” 

“I hope so,” you admitted, “more than anything. All of this— learning to sail and command and fighting by your side— it’s made me feel more alive in a few years than a whole childhood in Ravka’s court.” 

“And I consider myself immensely lucky that you somehow find enjoyment in all of this the same as I do,” Nikolai said with a slight laugh, taking his hand away from your chin. “Truly, I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to find you again after messing everything up once.” 

Your lips quirked in a slight smile. “And I consider myself immensely lucky that you stayed in love with me after all that time.” 

“The only thing easier than falling in love with you is staying in love with you,” Nikolai mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I could sail the Bone Road for a thousand years and that would never change.” 

“That’s another reason I don’t want to go back to court,” you said, heat blooming in your cheeks. “You’ll charm every person you come across with those honeyed words.” 

Nikolai smiled. “And yet I could only ever mean them for you.” 

“I just don’t get how you’re still so confident,” you said. “We’re going back to Ravka in the midst of a civil war. The Darkling’s on our tail, and he won’t stop until he’s gotten his very bloody revenge.” 

“But we’re going back together,” Nikolai clarified. “As far as I’m concerned, anything is possible so long as we’re together.”

“How are you always so sure of yourself?” you marveled. 

He shrugged. “It’s very difficult not to believe in myself when I’ve got you by my side.”

“Saints,” you murmured, your smile growing, “I’ve missed you more than you know.” 

Nikolai pulled you into a kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips met yours, your hands falling into familiar places on his body as you all but fell into him. It had only been a few days since your successful mutiny against the Darkling, and open affection still felt slightly strange. Any remaining qualms were fully kissed out of you, though, and when you pulled away, out of breath but glowing from the inside out, you could hardly contain your smile. 

“Trust me,” Nikolai breathed, “I know.” 

You grinned as you leaned against his side, and he pulled you in close with an arm around you. You rested your head on his shoulder, and for a moment, the countless voices of doubt inside of you fell silent as you watched the sunrise together. 

“We’ll figure it all out. I promise.” His voice was little more than a whisper in your ear, and yet it warmed your body just as much as his touch. “I’m with you until the end, milaya. No matter what.” 

And you believed him.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Sokkla actually saved my life.

In my early 20s, I had left my abusive family to move in with my high school sweetheart. But once we were living together, he showed a side of him I had never seen before.

He became abusive and cruel and began to cheat. And everytime he blamed everything on me and my depression and anxiety (I have PTSD from my childhood). He made it seem like this was the best I was ever going to get because no one would ever want a broken person like me.

Eventually he dumped me and left me with nowhere to go. I had to move back in with my abusive parents and I wanted to kill myself. They agreed with my boyfriend that no one would want me because I came back to them even more traumatized and mentally ill with mean outbursts and constant crying.

I genuinely thought it was over for me. I had always identified with Katara and Zuko the most, so I had shipped Zutara as a teen. But now I could no longer see myself in Katara because she was so strong and kind and everyone loved her.

I felt more like Zuko except a version of him that nobody could love with his scars. I began to see myself more like Azula. Doomed and tragic. The more hate I read about her, the more I searched for it and applied it to myself. Everytime someone called her irredeemable or unloveable, I took those words as a reminder to myself of how the world truly saw me. I guess it was a kind of self harm…

Eventually this became a late night ritual. And it was while doing this one night, sobbing my eyes out, that I clicked on what I thought was another fic about Azula being tortured and hated or punished and executed. But I must’ve misclicked because instead I ended up on a Sokkla fic.

And I don’t know if it was just my emotional state or how late it was, but by the end when Sokka showed her he could still love her, I just broke. I started looking for more Sokkla fics and art. Instead of looking for content punishing and hating Azula so I could harm myself, I started wanting to find stories where she healed and was happy. And Sokkla fics were so good about this without making Azula just a crazy person abuser or erasing all of her problems either.

Eventually I found metas written by some lovely Sokkla shippers on here and I decided that maybe, if I could be kinder to Azula, I could be kinder to myself.

But I made the mistake of sharing this on my tumblr and all my old Zutara friends FREAKED OUT. Lot all of them were mean about it, but some were. And eventually it ended up in tags that attracted other Zutara shippers and they attacked me over and over again, saying the most messed up things. Calling me mentally ill. Calling me homophobic. Calling me an abuse apologist. Even saying I must be an abuser and a horrible person if I identified with a psychopath like Azula at all. All because I said I like Sokkla now and it helped me.

I left the Zutara fandom that day. But I still love ATLA! I love Katara and Zuko as much as I used to, I just don’t really ship them anymore.

Sokkla is my ship now and it upsets me when people Zutara or TyZula or other fans bash it for no reason. Just like what you like and leave us alone! Zutara gives me panic attacks sometimes now because of it. I blocked all the tags and I’m never going back.

By the way, I’m doing better now! I’m back in school and I have new friends. One of my friends has a cute brother who likes ATLA. And his favorite character is Sokka. I asked him if he likes Sokkla and he said he had never thought about it before. But now we send each other fan art!

I have hope now, and a lot of that is thanks to friends and therapy. But Sokkla fandom helped me realize I deserved those things to begin with. If they could show empathy to Azula, then maybe people could show it to me too.

And to everyone in the Zutara or TyZula fandom who harasses people who ship Azula with people you don’t like: FUCK YOU.

Thank you for this blog. It helps me realize I’m not crazy. They really can be that mean and delusional. Sorry for the rant.

...Anon, do you want a hug?

[utilitycaster]

I really want to hear more, at the table or perhaps 4SD in March, about Ashton's agreement with Orym and indeed their even more cynical statement, that Imogen's going to inevitably be pulled towards Predathos whether she does her exploration willingly or resists, because I do think that Ashton's insight is really valuable here.

Ashton and Imogen have always made for a fascinating contrast. Both have complicated feelings about parents and abandonment which extend to their worldview and their relationship with the gods. Both have wondered about the source of their powers, which came at a profound physical and social cost.

I think where they diverge is that Ashton started the campaign believing that this was about the best it was ever going to get for them - staying in Krook House, with a weird nascent prickly friendship with FCG, drinking heavily and taking on odd jobs to pay off astronomical debt to Jiana Hexum. Ashton was not looking for a cure for his pain, nor meaning from it, early on. As they tell Laudna after a rough time fighting the Shade Mother, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." He sat on the Hishari/Ashari connection for weeks, never truly asking Orym but waiting until the information came to him in other ways. On the other hand, Imogen started the campaign profoundly curious; she is introduced trying to get into the Starpoint Academy to research the dreams and powers she's been dealing with for years, and her initial motivation for joining the team was to gain that access.

As time has gone on, this has slowly flipped, and I think Ashton is seeing Imogen settling into an indecisive rut. In addition, I think Imogen speculating that Liliana was a good person who simply got caught and overtaken by Predathos is raising alarms for them. After all, they just acted under the presumption that their parents had been well-intentioned people who made a mistake, and not only did it nearly kill them; the vision they had while unconscious indicated that their parents had simply done it out of a sense of self-importance. In a way, this feels like Ashton's form of protection: it is going to happen. The pain is going to be there. Are you going to make something with it, or will you simply let it catch you without your involvement?

For all their similarities, Ashton and Imogen didn't interact terribly often early in the campaign, so one of their earlier meaningful conversations is a recent one: the one where Imogen connected with the All-Minds-Burn. That is the Imogen Ashton believes can save them: the one who will decide to explore the world around her and rise to challenges, not the one who withdraws and shrinks from them. One who is not beholden to a romanticized idea of her mother who has never once lived up to those ideals in reality, but who rather makes her own choices. His line is delivered with its usual 6 Charisma; but the logic is sound.