#and it’s almost made me even angrier because I know how shit it feels when somebody dismisses it as ‘oh you’re fine it’s whatever’

[gyusrose]

➵ you’re so vain -> l.hs

⚠︎ smut (mdni)

✎ jock!heeseung x reader, enemies to ?????, heeseung is rlly annoying, hate sex ;), hair pulling, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation, backshots lmao. i think that’s it?

summary: attending a new school was supposed to be a fresh start for you, trying to be nice to everyone and have new friends, yet coming across lee heeseung threw all of that out the window.

(heeseung x fem.reader)

wc: 3.2k

your sweaty hands could not be gripping the steering wheel any harder. you wouldn’t call yourself “super shy” but when it comes to a whole new community of people, teenagers, hell yeah you are.

you had to move exactly at the middle of the year due to your mom’s work. they offered her double the salary at the other side of the city, who was she to say no to that? although you were going to miss your friends and the overall environment of your old home, you couldn’t just tell your mom ‘no’, either way her decisions are final.

you just got here two days ago, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. the worst thing so far is the fact that the nearest shopping center was 30 minutes away but you’ll live.

you didn’t except your first day of school to be so nerve-wracking. surely you’ll make some friends but who knows what people are like here. eventually, you saw the big navy blue sign with your school’s name on it. it was an averagely big school, bigger than your old one, which also meant more people.

the parking space alone was scary. it was huge yet already full even though it was still fairly early. you went around in circles around the parking lot, trying to find a vacant spot. fortunately you did at the second-to-last line.

as you tried to park, the limited space you had made it difficult to, having to back up and drive in constantly. as you reversed your car, you must have completely forgotten that you aren’t the only one there, feeling a small crash at the bumper of your car.

your eyes widened in panic. you looked back to see what you hit, and with your luck, it revealed at very nice black car, to which you’ve just hit. you tried to quickly get into your parking spot, hoping it was nothing serious, but then someone came walking up to you.

‘shit, that must be the owner’ you saw his red, rather handsome, fuming face.

you got out of your car to confront the first person interaction.

“hey look im so-“

“CANT YOU FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT? YOU HIT MY VERY EXPENSIVE CAR WITH YOUR THING, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

oh he was an asshole. you almost scoffed in his face. who does he think he is.

“it was accident that’s all, it was barely a scratch calm down man.”

“IT WAS DEFINITELY A SCRATCH LOOK AT IT! JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP YOUR CAR LOOKING ALL MISERABLE DOESNT MEAN I WILL, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?”

lord take me back. you were so close to just leaving him there arguing with himself. but you didn’t want to make him even angrier.

“look im sorry! i can pay for the fix up if that’s what you want, i dont know what else to do?”

the boy scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement.

“you think i don’t have the money for it? please, it shows you’re a newbie around here.”

“i didn’t mean it like that-“

“yo heeseung!! come on bro!” another blonde boy called from afar, hopefully ending the argument y’all were having.

“ watch your back new girl.” with one last glare, he left to join his group of friends.

you rolled your eyes. shiver my fucking timbers, you thought.

you took a deep breath before grabbing your backpack and making your way into school , hoping to never see his face ever again.

>>

you thought that was going to be the end of it all. but oh boy were you wrong. soon you found out that heeseung is the captain of the football team, and pretty much the most popular boy in school. as cliche as it sounds, every girl would drop their panties if he asked them to.

people know he’s not the nicest person ( an asshole) yet they still look up to him. that’s angered you. how are all these people so dumb? just because he’s kinda good-looking? seriously?

over the course of a few weeks, you’ve managed to make some friends, your closest taehyun and Isa. although you tried to block the negativity, heeseung made it really hard. always giving you snarky comments when he saw you around, ridiculing you in front of other people. somehow always finding a way to run into you despite not having any classes together. except gym.

“ bro open your eyes, catch the damn ball!” he yelled from across from you.

you hated sports. even less could you play one, but you gotta do it for the grade.

“the ball was too high up dummy!” you retorted, rolling your eyes for maybe the 100th time in the class period.

if you hated gym before, you definitely hated it more now.

as the period ended, you decided to take a quick shower in the locker rooms since you couldn’t handle being all sweaty and gross throughout the day.

heeseung finished changing and was outside the locker room with his friends, chatting, waiting for the bell to ring. that’s when he may have accidentally eavesdropped the conversation between your two friends, he could barely the names of.

“where’s _____?” taehyun asked isa, noticing how you weren’t with her.

“she’s taking a shower right now, she told us to not wait for her.” Isa shrugged before taehyun nodded.

a beautiful idea popped in heeseung’s brain. it was too good.

he excused himself and sneakily waited by the girl’s locker room, waiting for everyone to come out. once he only heard the shower you were using running, he quietly entered the room. the bell had rang about a minute ago, so the gym was empty, only you and him. the gym teacher god knows where.

he saw his target and rapidly grabbed the pile of clothes sitting on the bench, a smirk evident in his face.

suddenly the shower stopped running, making heeseung hurry and exit the locker room.

the shower felt too good, you think you spent more time that you anticipated to. as you exited the shower tiles, you looked around for your clothes, which you remember clearly leaving them in the bench closest to the shower. you looked around the whole locker room, hoping you were wrong and placed them elsewhere. unfortunately, you couldn’t even find your damn socks.

your biggest fear has come true. you’re now naked, nothing but a towel covering you, this was more than just humiliating. you felt sad, mad, angry, embarrassed all at once. they’ve been stolen for sure, and you were more than sure on who did it.

grabbing your phone you called Isa, to see if she could help you somehow. and she indeed did. bringing you some spare clothes she had. thankfully, you always bring extra underwear since situations like these could happen. you just had to wait for isa for the clothes, yet the five minutes she took felt like five hours. unfortunately, passing period is over, meaning some students are coming in the locker room to change.

many of them just straight up stared at you. giving you weird looks as to why you were pretty much naked in the middle of the locker room, but none had the guts to ask you.

you wished the ground would just swallow you whole. lee heeseung won’t hear the end of it.

“LEE HEESEUNG!” you yelled across the field. he and his friends were siting down eating lunch outside when you spotted him after trying to find him after the stunt he just pulled.

heeseung knew it was coming, giggling with his friends as they heard you yell his name once again. “ oh she’s about to scold me now .” heeseung scoffed but still got up and went over to you.

“yes ma’am?” he said with a smile, you wish you could slap off but you’re better than that.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about..” heeseung tried acting innocent but failed as he just burst out laughing. you groaned, how on earth is that funny?

“cute panties by the way” he continued to laugh, not sparing a glance at your mad expression on your face.

“you’re such an ass, i hate your guts.” you said leaving him alone, laughing to himself.

“yo bro i think she actually got mad this time.” his friend, jake came over.

heeseung shrugged. “she’s so sensitive, it wasn’t even that bad.”

“i can’t believe he did that…” taehyun said as you told them both what had happened. Isa knew a little bit but not who did it.

“that’s fucked up, what’s he got against you so much?”

you shrugged. “i guess because i gave his car a little scratch, but i guess he took it to heart since he hasn’t stopped bothering me since. he’s a jerk.”

“finally someone who thinks the same as me!” taehyun said making you chuckle.

“then get back at him! you know the one thing that makes him who he is is that damn football.” Isa said.

you tried to be the bigger person this whole time, not paying much mind to his little remarks or pranks he pulls, biting back a little wouldn’t hurt right?

“you know what, you’re right.”

“lee heeseung, mrs. park wants to speak to you.” mr.jung said calling heeseung.

heeseung who was barely paying attention heard his name. his frowned at this. what on earth could she want to talk about with him? either way, he went to her classroom.

he entered the empty classroom to find his coach and mrs.park, waiting for him. what the fuck? heeseung was more confused now. maybe they were going to congratulate him for the good work this semester? his coach’s face said otherwise though.

“there you are, you may be wondering why you’re here..” mrs.park started. heeseung nodded, feeling uneasy.

“a student came forward, showing how you copied word for word her whole assignment, the one i assigned a week ago. i didn’t notice it at first but it’s very clear now, you may know how cheating is unacceptable in my class, i’ve decided to fail you in this assignment, plus you’ll be serving detention this whole week..” she turned to the coach.

heeseung’s heart started beating at a rapid pace, he’s never been caught cheating, and being failed on the assignment that was a big part of his grade, it means he’s most likely failing the class now. the rules for football stated that all players should be passing all of their classes if not, they’ll be dropped….

no no no, the lee heeseung can’t be dropped. he’s the captain! the star player!

“since you’re failing this class heeseung, i think you know what’s about to happe-“

“please coach! don’t kick me out, i’m the captain! what would the team do without me? i’ll get my grade up as soon as possible im-“

“calm down calm down, i’m not going to kick you out, it’s the middle of the season, but unfortunately you won’t be playing the next three games. if your grade is not up by then, then i will drop you. understood?” his coach stated earning a sharp nod by heeseung.

he’s glad he’s still on the team but what’s the point if he can’t play? he’s going to become a joke. the captain that’s a bench warmer. how stupid.

he left the classroom enraged. he knows exactly who did this.

“bro what? what do you mean you ain’t gonna play ?” riki said in disbelief at what his captain just said.

“some snitch told mrs.park that i cheated on the last assignment and coach suspended me for the next three games, and i got detention all week!” sunghoon unknowingly chuckled. heeseung looked at him with a glare.

“what? she got you good, what did you expect hee?” sunghoon kept laughing, making some of the others also laugh silently.

heeseung had nothing to say back, he just rolled his eyes. “tch, whatever.”

nevertheless, you were overjoyed seeing heeseung slouching on the bench. you couldn’t miss this once in a lifetime scenario. obviously you were the cause for it. heeseung asks Isa almost all the time for her notes or to straight up copy her. she willingly let you rat him out after what he did to you.

he can sense how all eyes were on him, but he just tried to block everyone out a focus on the game. he had a poker face on, but deep inside he was irritated . he saw how you were smirking and laughing with your two little friends. you knew what you were doing.

>>

“ahh look who it is, the benchwarmer! “ you said chuckling as you made your way to heeseung.

after the team (barely) won, jake threw an ‘after party’ at his house. even though you don’t normally go to these parties, especially from those boys, you felt like a party would do good with your marvellous mood. something about seeing heeseung’s frowny face made feel over the moon.

“seems like cat got your tongue now huh? dont have anything to say-“

in a blink of an eye you were pulled into a room, heeseung’s fingers wrapped around your neck, pulling your face closer to his.

“what the fuck? heeseung-“

“shut the fuck up.” his hoarse voice caught you off guard. he was actually really mad.

“you think what you did it’s fucking funny? huh? almost getting me kicked out ? “ you’ve never seen him this enraged before. making you almost scared, yet….kinda turned on? no, you hate him, snap out of it! you told yourself yet the wetness in between your legs became hard to ignore.

you didn’t respond. “fuck, you’re so annoying, i can’t fucking stand you. i hate you.” he saw lowly. fuck that was hot.

you spoke before thinking. “then show me.”

not needing to tell him twice, heeseung pulled you completely in. your lips met in a kiss that was anything but gentle, a fierce and consuming clash that spoke longing and raw need.

The kiss deepened, fueled by an unspoken urgency, their mouths exploring each other with a fervor that left y’all breathless. his grip on your neck becoming tighter.

“shit im gonna show you to fucking behave.” he said before pushing you into the bed forcefully. you may have discovered a new kink of yours. watching as he undressed himself and yourself rapidly. feeling his anger through every touch he gave you.

he rubbed through your folds before inserting two fingers aggressively. your body jolted at the sudden move.

“holy shit go softer dumbass.”

“aw you think i give a fuck? suck it up and take it since you think you’re all that.” his fingers pumped faster and faster making it hard for you to answer back to his stupid remarks.

“oh my god..” you tried to pull his hand away before you cum. not wanting to see you orgasm so easily yet.

“just fuck me already heeseung, or is your dick as tiny as your brain?”

heeseung looked darkly at you. that stupid mouth of yours can’t shut up will it?

he retracted his fingers put of you and took his boxers off. wanting nothing more than to prove you wrong.

shit. your eyes went wide at what stood in front of you. saying he was big was an understatement. it was like a zipper for your mouth. how was that thing going to fit inside of you?

“can’t say anything now, can you slut?” he pulled your legs down the mattress to have you at the perfect angle to ram into you.

heeseung ran his til over your folds, teasing his way in. making you aggrevated.

“just put it in for fucks sake!”

“tell me how bad you want it.” you shook your head, no way were you going to beg. no way.

“alright then, i guess im gonna go.” he said letting go of your waist, acting as if he was going to leave.

“okay okay! please fuck me, i want it so bad, i want your big cock so bad heeseung.” heeseung moaned at your words. he didn’t wait any longer and thrusted all of him in you.

you both moaned yet it was more painful for you. you’ve never had something so big inside you before.

“fuck yeah..” he said then grabbing your neck, slightly choking you. your hands went to his biceps, trying to find something to hold on to as the speed he was thrusting in became more hostile.

“fuck me harder, like the asshole you are.” you said in between breaths. heeseung took the challenge and thrusted violently. the skin slapping and wetness of your core could probably be heard in the party outside.

“of course a whore like you would like to be fucked like this.”

before you could respond he pulled out of you earning a desperate groan from you, but then your were flipped, now on all fours and before you knew it he was back in you again. gripping your hip with one hand while he pulled your hair on the other.

“such a tight pussy, you probably fantasized about this am i right?” he said in your ear. you shook your head through your moan.

“in your dreams lee, in your fucking dreams. fuck you.”

“i’m quite literally doing that.” chuckling, he let go of your hair and instead gripped your other hip, going in deeper, nudging your cervix literally driving you to an edge.

“fuck i’m cumming.” you cried out. never has an orgasm felt like this. heeseung was on edge as well, feeling you clench around his dick did it for him.

your climax rose over you, making you fall into the pillow while heeseung kept thrusting until his own organs came over him, pulling out and releasing his white ropes all over your back.

tiredly, he laid besides you in the strangers bed, not knowing what to say now.

you turned to him, smirking. “i think i may hate you even more now.”

[chxrryrose]

did i just cry and am anxious because my dads really anxious and he’s borderline panic attack and I feel really bad because I know how shit it feels and because my mums reaction to it all is shit and I know how shit that feels too? yes, yes I did. how’s your friday🥲

[flickering-chandelier]

Second Chance

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: Reader and Cassian have been friends for centuries, but nobody knows that she’s in love with him. Eventually she meets her mate in the market, but when he breaks her heart, Cassian is there to pick up the pieces, and offer her a second chance at love.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.5k

Cassian snickered as he landed on top of you, effectively pinning you beneath him. 

You grunted, “Okay, you win. Get off.”

He cocked his head, grinning. “I don’t know, this is pretty comfy.”

“You’ve proven your point,” you groaned, your head throbbing from hitting it on the ground of the training ring on top of the House. You tried to wiggle out from under him, but it was no use. He was massive, and your body was rendered utterly immobile. 

After another torturous moment, Cassian stood up, offering you his hand. He hoisted you up to your feet and you groaned again. 

“What were you saying about being able to beat me one-on-one?” he smirked. 

You just scowled at him and his smile spread further. He clapped you on the back. You winced at the impact. “Go get some water.”

Normally you would say something snarky about following orders, but your head was still spinning a bit, so you did as you were told without argument. 

You must have looked pretty awful because after a few minutes, Cassian knelt in front of where you sat on the bench, his eyes searching yours. “You okay?”

Nodding as you gulped down more water, you mumbled, “Mmhmm.”

His brow furrowed as he gently felt the back of your head, feeling the growing bump there. “Shit,” he said. “I didn't mean to pin you down that hard. Sorry.”

You shrugged, smiling faintly at your friend. “I knew I couldn’t beat you. It’s my own fault.”

He lightly brushed the hair that had come out of your braid off your face. You pushed down the swell in your chest, as you always did. “I think it’s time for the cool down,” he said, his eyes raking your sweaty, tired body. 

Your eyes widened. “You, the legendary commander of the Illyrian armies, are going to cut training short because you knocked me on my ass?” 

“Only for you,” he winked, offering you his hand again. “Don’t tell anyone.”

You took it, and followed Cassian as he guided you through the stretches. 

This had been your routine for a while. You had been in Rhysand’s inner circle for the last few centuries, and had found your home and family with them. Pretty quickly, you knew you wanted to be useful for more than just your mind, so you had asked Cassian to train you. You had started out at the Illyrian camps, but the way the males there treated you was…unsettling, to say the least. And it made Cassian angrier than you had ever seen him. So now you trained on the top of the House, sometimes accompanied by others, but often it was just the two of you. 

Training with him nearly every day for centuries had brought the two of you very close together. He was definitely the best friend you had ever had. He was your favorite person in the world. The two of you talked about everything.

Well, almost everything.

Even after all this time, butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you watched him, how his muscles stretched and bulged, his brow furrowed in concentration, his tanned skin gleaming with sweat in the morning sun. 

You had been in love with him for a very, very long time.

Frankly, it sucked being in love with your best friend. Your best friend, who flirted shamelessly with nearly everybody, who had a body even the gods were surely jealous of. Who was so kind and good and brave that nobody could ever compare. 

Especially not you.

That was the main problem, really. Why you had never said anything. You knew you could never deserve him, no matter how long you lived. He was legendary. Literally. He was strong, fearless, and so, so kind. And not to harp on this too much but, that body. Compared to him, you were entirely insignificant and you always would be.

So, you suffered in silence. Loved him from afar. And waited for the Mother or the Cauldron or whoever it was that was in charge of your fate and your mate to get their act together.

“What’s running through that pretty head of yours?” Cassian said, glancing over at you.

You reigned in your scowl. Centuries of friendship made it extremely easy for him to read you like a book. “I’m debating whether I hate you for pinning me to the ground like it was nothing, or if I love you for cutting training short,” you said, breathless as you continued to follow him through the stretches. 

He smirked. “Oh, please. You know you love me.”

Rolling your eyes goodnaturedly you grumbled, “Yeah, I know.”

If only he knew. 

---

Inner circle meetings these days were about twenty percent important business, and eighty percent goofing off. 

You loved it.

Seated between Azriel and Amren, with Cassian across from you, you grinned as the warrior picked a fight with Amren.

Azriel and you exchanged amused glances, both knowing that Cassian had never won against Amren, and he certainly wouldn’t start today. 

After they had been squabbling for quite some time about something that you honestly weren’t paying super close attention to, Amren turned to you, snarling, “Can you please tell him he’s a fool?”

Cassian sat back in his chair, clutching his chest, making a great show of being offended.

“Why me?” you asked. 

“He actually listens to you,” Amren said, pointedly raising an eyebrow.

You snorted. “He does not.”

Azriel cut in, smiling faintly. “He does. More than the rest of us, anyway.”

You glanced at Cassian, who just smirked back at you. “What can I say? She’s obviously the smartest one here.”

This, of course, started a whole new round of insults from Amren that left Cassian chuckling to himself, his eyes sparkling as he gazed at you through the entire barrage of Amren’s insults.

Later, you and Cassian were lounging in the sitting room at the House of Wind, after everyone else had wandered off home or gone to bed. 

You were laying down on the couch, reading a book. Cassian was sitting at the far end of said couch, your feet in his lap while he read up on war strategies. 

It was only a matter of time before the romance novel that you were reading got… steamy. 

Cassian immediately noticed the shift in your scent and threw his head back laughing. “Why do you read smut in front of people?”

You kicked his chest lightly, which only made him laugh more. “It’s not like I know when the smutty scenes are going to happen!”

“This one really got to you, huh?” he said, noticing the blush that had risen to your cheeks.

Before you could stop him, he lunged for you, grabbing your book and wrenching it from your hands.

“Noo!” you shrieked, and covered your face in embarrassment as he read aloud.

“His weight on top of me was nearly enough for me to come undone,” he said in a deep, sultry voice. “I couldn’t focus on anything but the power and command in his movements as he grasped both my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the bed above my head.”

You couldn’t stand it anymore. You grabbed for the book, but he was faster and caught you as you moved toward him. His arm wrapped around your waist and he spun you, pinning you to the couch, his weight holding you down for the second time that day.

But, this time was… different. Your bodies were completely flush together, every inch of you touching him. His hair tickled your neck as he looked down at you, your faces a fraction away from each other. 

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, breathing hard. You could smell it on him too now, the lust. In this moment, he wanted you. You knew he did. Heat went through you in a wave.

And he knew it. 

“This is what you’re into, huh?” he said huskily.

You glared at him, but you knew the lust was still shining in your eyes. 

He smirked. “Is that why you baited me during training today? You wanted to feel me on top of you?”

Yes. “No!” You scowled, pushing his shoulders, but he didn’t move. “I baited you because I wanted to see how long I would last.”

Cassian’s smirk turned positively wolfish, his eyes gleaming in a way you’d never seen before.

You groaned, realizing what you just said. “Not like that.” You pushed against him again. “Get off of me, Cassian!”

He dipped his head lower, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Are you sure you want me to?” he said, his voice low, sultry. You could hardly breathe.

No, of course I don’t want you to. I want to stay here forever and ever.

“Yes,” you ground out. 

His lips darted to your lips for the briefest moment before he pushed off of you, sitting on his knees. After a moment, he handed the book to you. 

“I hate you,” you mumbled.

He smirked. “No, you don’t.”

You couldn’t stop your small smile. “No, I don’t.”

---

For days, you felt rattled by what happened that night. Cassian, of course, seemed relaxed as ever, but you felt yourself blush every time you were around him.

You were in the market, your thoughts lost in Cassian as usual, when someone across the street caught your eye.

He was beautiful. The very definition of tall, dark, and handsome. You felt drawn to him in a way you had never felt before, not even with Cassian.

You stopped in your tracks, unable to take your eyes off him.

After a few moments, he looked up and your eyes met.

And you felt it.

The mating bond that snapped into place. That tethered you permanently to this stranger.

And judging from the look in his eyes, he felt it too.

The stranger made his way over to you, his eyes not wavering from yours.

“Hi,” he said when he was in front of you, like he was in a daze.

“Hi,” you said. “You… felt that too, right?”

He nodded. “I never knew what they meant… what it was supposed to feel like…” he trailed off, just staring at you. “I'm Adonis.”

You introduced yourself and didn't know what to do next. For centuries, you had dreamed of the day that you'd meet your mate. But secretly, you had been waiting for the bond to snap into place with Cassian. You hadn't thought about what you would do if it turned out to be a random stranger.

“Do you… want to go for a walk?” Adonis said, clearly equally unsure of what one was supposed to do upon meeting their mate.

You agreed. And just like that, you were getting to know your mate.

---

You found Rhys, Feyre, and Cassian all in Rhysand's study at the river house. They looked at you questioningly as you walked in.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asked, his voice soft, the way it always was when he was worried about you. “You look… weird.”

“I met my mate today,” you said quietly.

Feyre and Rhysand looked ecstatic. Cassian, though, went perfectly still, his skin turning slightly pale.

“What happened? Who is he?” Feyre asked, her eyes wide in excitement.

You shrugged, briefly explaining how you and Adonis met.

“What's he like?” Rhys asked. “Do you like him?”

“I think so?” You said, noticing how Cassian was still as a statue. “I don't know, it's weird. I feel this tug towards him but I don't know anything about him! I mean, he seems… nice.”

Cassian finally unfroze, to look incredulously at you. “Nice?” He repeated. “That's it? Your mate is nice?”

“We went on a walk and yes, he seems nice,” you blanched, feeling like you should defend your mate but not sure how.

Your friends just stared at you, clearly underwhelmed by your declaration.

“What do I do now?” You asked nobody in particular.

“You keep getting to know him,” Rhys said, lovingly wrapping an arm around Feyre. 

You glanced at Cassian, who suddenly seemed very interested in the carpet.

“Okay,” you said. 

Really, what else could you do?

---

Your relationship with Cassian had felt off ever since you and Adonis had started to get to know each other better.

He still trained you every day, but where he used to be bantering and joking around with you, he was now all business, keeping his physical distance from you. 

It was confusing, having to grapple with your ancient feelings for him and these new blooming ones for your mate. 

After a few weeks of weirdness, you finally snapped. “Did I do something to upset you?” You asked as both of you stretched after a particularly grueling workout.

“No,” he grunted. “Why?”

“You've been acting weird for weeks.”

He glanced at you, his eyes guarded. “No, I haven't.”

“Yes you have, Cass. You've barely talked to me,” you tried to hide the pain in your voice. You didn't want him to know how deeply this ran.

Cassian sighed, pausing his stretching to face you, look you in the eye. “You’re right, I'm sorry. I just… I'm sad, I guess. I've been your number one for centuries and now…” he pushed his hair out of his face. “Things are different now.”

You took a step toward him, your heart cracking. “Is that what you think? Cassian, no matter who my mate is, you'll always be my best friend. And… I could really use my best friend right now.”

Guilt clouded his expression. “I'm sorry. I've been a shitty friend,” he said quietly, moving forward and wrapping you in a tight bear hug. “Are you okay?”

Sighing with relief, leaning into his touch, you said, “I don't know. I'm really excited, obviously, that I finally found him. And I do like him. But I'm also… scared.”

He pulled back to look you in the eye. “Scared? Why?”

“What if he doesn't like me?” You asked quietly. You hadn't been able to voice your fears to anybody else. 

Cassian’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why would you even think that? Who wouldn't like you?”

I can think of at least one person, you thought, but shoved it down.

You shrugged, not sure what to say.

He murmured your name, moving to gently hold your face in his hands. “He'd be insane to not like you. I mean it.”

Warmth spread through you at his touch, the softness in his voice. “Thanks, Cassian,” you murmured.

Cassian kissed your forehead, then pulled you back into a crushing hug. “Anytime.”

---

Your gut was a bundle of nerves as you met with Adonis again. The two of you had been getting to know each other for the last few weeks, and while you didn't yet feel an electric shock, you were thrilled to have found your mate.

When Adonis showed up though, your nerves only got worse. The look on his face could only mean that he was about to deliver bad news.

The two of you made your way through awkward small talk until he braced his forearms on the table in front of him, and you knew he was about to get down to business.

“So, look. I know we're mates, and I do feel that bond between us, but I can't help but think that maybe the Cauldron was wrong,” he said casually, as if he were telling you it was going to rain later.

Your heart completely plummeted. You tried to maintain your breathing, keep your voice even. “Why do you think that?”

“The attraction’s just not there,” he said matter of factly.

Mind spinning, you repeated, “the… attraction?”

He nodded, like it was obvious.

“You're saying, you think the Cauldron was wrong… because you're not attracted to me.”

“Yes! I'm so glad you get it,” he smiled.

You just looked at him incredulously. “You're serious?”

“Yes?” He raised his eyebrow in question.

“So, you're… you're rejecting the bond?”

“I think that would be best. Don't you?”

You narrowed your eyes, trying to keep your rising fury locked down. “With the way you're acting right now? Actually, yes, I do think it would be best. You're a terrible person,” you stated, determined to keep your tears from falling until you could make it home.

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you.

And right then, you felt it. Despite your anger, it was still painful to have the bond rejected. It felt like you were being torn apart from the inside out, ripping your very being to shreds.

You gripped the table, centuries of training your body and your mind was the only thing that kept you from crying out as the bond broke.

Adonis felt it too, you knew, because he had gone pale as a ghost, his body trembling slightly. 

When the pain had subsided enough, you pushed away from the table, walking home without a backwards glance.

---

You were supposed to meet Cassian for dinner at the House, but you couldn't bear it. You went to your own apartment instead, laying in your bed in the fetal position for what was probably hours, tears streaming down your cheeks until your head was pounding and your eyes were burning.

It was awful, this feeling. How could he be your mate? How could someone like that be who the Mother wanted you with?

Would you never be good enough for anyone? 

And now your hopes of finding a mate were gone forever. Everyone knew that you only got one chance, one mate.

Why did yours have to be so awful?

A knock on your door roused you from your spiraling thoughts.

You just groaned, knowing that Cassian could hear it.

The door opened and you heard his heavy footsteps as he found you in your bed.

He grimaced as soon as he saw the state of you, his eyes flooding with concern. Instantly he was by your side, kneeling in front of you, holding your hand. “What is it?” He asked, his voice soft despite the tautness of his body.

Your voice came out as barely more than a croak. “He rejected the bond.”

Cassian's rage was palpable, filling the room. “What?”

Ashamed, you hid your face in your pillows. You couldn't tell him why. Didn't have the words in you, and you didn't want him to know how much it hurt.

He swore under his breath, then crawled into bed with you, gingerly wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. You buried your face in his chest, breathed in the scent of him. It almost broke your heart even more, knowing he would never feel for you what you felt for him.

His fingers drew small, soothing circles on your back for a long moment until he broke the silence again. “What happened?” He said quietly.

It was a long time before you could answer. But you knew that if you could tell anyone in the world, it would be him. “He's not attracted to me,” you whispered.

Cassian's entire body tensed, his grip on you tightening. “He said that?” He said with lethal calm.

“He did,” you croaked as another tear slid down your cheek.

“I'm going to slaughter him,” he growled, his body trembling as he sat up, taking you with him. “I'm going to rip his skin off his bones--”

He had moved you so you were straddling him, your hands on his shoulders. “No, you won't,” you said gently.

“Why shouldn't I?” He spat, his eyes dark, his hands gripping your waist so hard, it would surely leave a bruise.

“It wouldn't solve anything,” you said sadly. 

Cassian buried his hand in the hair at the back of your head, forcing you to hold his gaze. “You listen to me. He is wrong. He is awful. You are so beautiful. You are so strong and kind and incredible. Do not let him get to you, okay? This is his loss, not yours,” he said, his eyes locked on yours, alight with so much emotion, your eyes welled with tears again.

He pursed his lips, his eyes softening as he pulled you into him again. You cried into his chest. “Why would the Mother do this to me? Why would she choose him?”

“I don't know,” he said sadly, running his hands through your hair gently. “I don't know. Maybe she made a mistake.”

You sniffed. “I don’t know what to do.” 

He kissed your head softly. “You lean on the people who love you. And then you try to move on.”

You cried even harder, and he held you and held you until your sobs diminished and you drifted off to sleep.

---

Cassian barely left your side in the following weeks, his hands always on you, comforting you. Even when he had to go to the Illyrian mountains, he brought you with him. 

It always did something to you, seeing him in command of all those soldiers. His face stern, his body rigid, barking orders at everyone. Despite all the awful things that had happened recently, it still made your toes curl in your boots. 

But even you could only brave the cold for so long to watch Cassian be in command, so you eventually wandered into Rhysand’s mother’s house, a roaring fire already ablaze when you arrived. 

You sat in front of it, warming your hands, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. 

Weeks after the disastrous meeting with your mate, you were finally starting to feel like yourself again, like other things in life mattered more than the jerk who hurt you.

It was mostly Cassian’s steady, comforting presence that had helped you return to yourself, his relentless insistence that you keep up with your training, that you don’t break your routine no matter how much your heart hurt. 

Cassian had been what was keeping you together for a long time, you realized. 

It was this thought that he interrupted, swinging the door open loudly, the snow billowing in behind him. After he had closed the door behind him, you heard his heavy footfalls stop dead in their tracks behind you.

You turned to look at him in confusion, and then you felt it. 

A bond snapped into place. 

A bond that somehow, after all this time, linked you to Cassian.

Your heart began pounding in your chest, your head spinning. “What--”

Before you could finish the thought, he was on top of you, pinning you to the ground, his lips on yours. You always forgot how quickly he could move, how he could be across the room in the blink of an eye with ease.

A moan sounded from you involuntarily as he cupped your cheek gently with his rough hand, his other on the floor next to your head, keeping some of his body weight off you so you wouldn’t be crushed. This seemed to spur him on even more, his tongue delving into your mouth immediately after you had opened your mouth to him. 

“I knew it,” he groaned, kissing your cheeks, your neck, “I knew it should’ve been me.” 

“Cassian,” you gasped, unable to process what was happening, what he just said--

He growled, kissing you again deeply, rocking his hips against yours.

You hated yourself for doing it, especially since you had been dreaming of this very moment for centuries, but you also needed a moment to think, to process. 

“Cassian, wait,” you said breathlessly, putting your hand on his chest. 

He halted immediately, pulling back to hover over you. “I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay,” you said, smiling to reassure him. He was breathing hard, his eyes locked on yours, trying to decipher if he had done something wrong, you knew. “I mean -- we should definitely continue that later, I just… I don’t understand.”

Cassian rose from on top of you, sitting up. You followed, sitting up to face him. “We’re mates,” he said with a soft smile, his eyes shining. “You and me,” he shook his head in disbelief. 

“I thought you could only have one mate? I thought that was it…” you trailed off, unable to form the words.

He shrugged, grinning. “I guess the Mother decided to give you another chance.”

All you could do was stare at him in disbelief. 

Cassian was actually your mate. Cassian.

His brow furrowed, his expression flooding with fear. “Are you upset?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. You gazed at him, at your beautiful, incredible mate. “Cassian, I’ve been in love with you for centuries. I’ve never been happier in my life.”

He made a choking sound. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

You bit your lip, pondering how much to tell him. He took your hand in his, scooching closer, hanging on your answer. Finally you leveled your gaze with his. “I don’t deserve you.”

His face contorted in anger then, a look that had never been directed at you before. “Why would you ever think that?”

Incredulously, you gestured to him. “Are you kidding? Look at you! You’re the commander of the Illyrian armies, they’ve literally written about your war tactics in the history books, you’re one of six people in centuries to actually reach Ramiel, you’re so kind and good and--”

Cassian’s lips were on yours before you could continue. “I love you,” he murmured against your lips. “I love you so much.” 

Your heart melted at his words and at his touch. After a few moments, he pulled back to look at you again. “Never say that you’re not good enough ever again. You’ve been in Rhysand's inner circle for centuries for a reason. How do you not see how incredible you are?” 

All you could get out was, “You love me?”

He laughed, the deep sound practically bouncing off the walls, before his expression softened, gazing at you lovingly. “Of course I love you. I was acting so weird after you met Adonis because I had never been so fucking jealous in my life,” he said quietly, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve wished that you were mine for a long, long time.” 

You launched yourself at him and he was ready for you, wrapping his arms around you tightly as you kissed him. He laughed against your mouth, holding your body against his. 

Soon, you were completely tangled together, losing yourselves in each other.

Hours later, you were laying on the floor in front of the fire, your legs entwined together, your head on Cassian's chest, his arms around you. 

“After all this time,” you murmured, lost in the memories of all your lonely nights, now knowing that Cassian had felt the same way you did.

He kissed the top of your head. “I'm just glad the Mother finally helped us get together,” he chuckled.

“Me too,” you agreed. “We owe her a lot.”

“We owe her everything,” he said quietly, leaning in to kiss you again. 

You snuggled closer into him, relishing the thought that you would never again be alone.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @evergreenlark @ecliphttlunar

[mari-the-bimbo]

Bus stops on dodgy roads

Sukuna x reader

A/N: Hey my lovelies! I know i been gone a while but he’s just a random thought I made into a fanfic! Enjoy! <33

Going to University in a rough area is definitely not for the weak.

Classes finishing at 7 in the evening, studying the notes in the library until 11 because your dorm doesn’t have a desk, meaning you’re waiting at the bus stop in the dead of the night with the local drug dealers, police sirens blaring in the back, but you try to tune it out with ‘like a tattoo by Sade’ blasting your your earphones.

But you just happen to be god’s strongest soldier.

Well.. at least you think you are.

Strangely enough, you do not feel threatened by the drug dealers who wait for the same bus, the silent agreement to mind your own business is mutual.

But more strangely, you notice the drug dealers aren’t here today, so you sit alone at the bus stop, the dry air hitting your face.

“Here all alone sweetheart?” Says a croaky voice in the silence, you turn your gaze to the ugly looking man who reeks of blood and alcohol. You don’t recognise him so you pretend you didn’t hear him, silently praying it’s not your blood splattered next.

You flitch as he snatches your earphones out your ear and throws it to the ground, shit, why did it have to be you?

“Don’t pretend you can’t hear me you stupid bitch, how much for a fuck before I make you do it for free”

You subtly reach for your pocket knife and you answer him defensively “I’m not a whore, go ask somebody else”, calling police would be useless, by the time they arrive you’ll already be roadkill.

You watch him seeth at your attitude as you gulp, realising a bit too late that was the wrong move.

You watch a black Bugatti pass, a car you knew probably belonged to an even dodgier person but you were desperate. You throw a rock at the car and scream “HELPPP!!”.

The man only gets angrier as he punches you for drawing attention, you fall to the ground with curses from your mouth but luckily the sleek car halts, before reversing slowly until it’s in front of you.

“g-get up you bitch” the man hurriedly orders, reaching out to pull you up but your new found confidence allows you to kick him before you hurriedly stand up yourself.

Before you can react again, you hear a deep voice boom through the abandoned road’ “Oi”

The black tinted windows of the Bugatti slides down to reveal a tatted man, a bit older than you but scarily handsome nonetheless. The creep’s eyes widens before speaking “Boss! I- I was just going to deal with this bitch becau-“

“Who asked?”

You stare quietly, taking in the interaction between the creep and his boss in the car.

“Did I not order you to report back to me once you were done with the job?” The boss asked. You didn’t even want to guess what the ‘job’ was.

“Sir this bitch got in my way so-“

“Shut up” the boss cut him off before his red eyes connected with yours, a shiver travels down your spine at the contact.

“Leave us alone” he says, you take a step backwards thinking he’s talking to you but realise you’re wrong when the creep walks away shakily.

Your own legs start to shake slightly in realisation of who this man could be.

“Hey pretty girl”

You gulp “Hi s-sir”

A chuckle erupts from the man at your immediate obedience compared to how animalistic you were with the other. “Why you calling me sir, you work for me too?” He asks. You struggle to find words so you simply shake your head.

He keeps eye contact with you as he puts out his cigarette that was hanging from his mouth. “Call me Sukuna”

The leg almost threatened to give in from the shake as he confirms your fears, he was the city’s drug lord Sukuna.

“Thanks Sukuna”

“No worries dear, why don’t you be a good girl and let me drop you home” he asks, you know it’s a command rather than an offer.

“T-thanks but my bus will be here any minute” you reply with a shaky smile.

His gaze is unnerving as he answers “your bus won’t be coming”

Your confused silence allows him to answer the question you were thinking.

He points in the direction that the creepy man left, “You see, I ordered him to kill some rats on that bus, the bus will be terminated in 3..2…”

“What” you whisper in disbelief.

“..1”

You look up at the digital bus stop timer.

“Zero”

‘Service currently unavailable. We apologise for this inconvenience’ the digital screen reads.

You stare back at him in disbelief. He was too good, devilishly good, and you were now putty in his tatted hands. All the questions left on the tip of your tongue disappears, Sukuna only offers an illegally beautiful smile to you.

“Well?” He says, “I really don’t like offering repeating myself dear”

Without missing a beat, you run to the passenger side door and enter the car.

To hell with morals and ethics, when you live in the ghetto, survival is your main priority.

You sit in the luxury leather seats with cowardly stature. Sukuna starts his engine and drives off.

“You know it’s breaks my heart to see a pretty girl like you wait in the cold like that dear” he teases gruffly, a new cigarette hanging from his lips. “Not your first time waiting there is it?”

“No” you reply but then you pause, wait how does he know that?

“How do you-“

“I know my city better than anyone, every corner and.. bus stop” he adds to lighten the mood, you can’t help the small giggle that escaped you, it’s hard not to when your saviour happens to be an big, attractive, clearly untouchable man who smells like oud and leather.

“Think I’m funny doll?” He says with a smile, red eyes still on the road.

“Only a little-” you reply before immediately closing your mouth in fear, you fix your posture when you suddenly remember this isn’t some friend of yours but rather the most powerful man in the city that could easily have your head.

He chuckles, “easy, easy doll. No need to humble me like that”

“Sorry” you say with a meek smile.

He looks at you and back on the road. There was no denying Sukuna found you adorable, you were amusing to him, and what kissable looking lips you had.

“You can joke around with me doll, consider me a friend hm?” He says as his hands move to the back of your neck, stroking it ever so gently, goosebumps quickly rise making the tatted man laugh as you look at him embarrassed.

He parks in the uni dorm car park. Before slowly turning his head towards you, you feel comfortable enough to look him face to face now, you offer him a smile “thank you dropping me off Sukuna… and also saving me back there.. I know he’s one of your man but still-“

Your sentence dies at the back of your throat when his rough hand strokes your cheek, “did it hurt?” He says, he’s serious now. “A bit..” you answer.

Your breath hitches as he leans forwards and presses his mouth to your ear “I’ll take care of him when I get back, you will never see him again, okay?” He says and you nod in understanding of what that entails.

“Such a smart girl” he coos gruffly as he presses a kiss to the shell of your ear.

“Thank you again Sukuna”

Another smile comes to his handsome face as he tilts his head “and how exactly do you wish to thank me dear?”

You gulp as you stare at the handsome devil, seducing you so easily, you feel embarrassed when he notices your thighs squeezed together, while Sukuna makes a mental note of the dirty things he’s going to do with those plush thighs next time.

He licks his lips, and you unintentionally imitate him. He shakes his head and bites his bottom teeth, he can’t hold back anymore, oh girl.. what have you started?

Suddenly his wet lips press against your own, moulding with the shapes of yours, his sloppy tongue makes sure you can taste the tobacco as you moan at the feeling, he chuckles into your mouth before pulling away.

You pull away with a gasp, he smiles, looking nowhere near as breathless as you, just admiring your beautiful face. He thumb plays with your bottom lip

“Well shit.. You’ve started something I gotta finish doll”

[sereinnu]

Fractured Tides

Warnings: STEP-CEST| drugs and alcohol use| Rafe Cameron| very foul language| more yet to come| DON'T read if you're uncomfortable with these themes| MDNI| I already warned you not to read|

Rafe Cameron x Step-sister!Reader

Despite your efforts to make peace, your stepbrother Rafe's hatred for you persists. Each attempt to bridge the gap only seems to widen the divide, leaving you wondering if you'll ever find common ground in this family.

The Outer Banks were alive with the sounds of summer—the rustle of the breeze through the palm trees, the distant roar of the ocean, and the hum of a world that seemed so far removed from the chaos within Tannyhill. You had lived here for years now, but the house never truly felt like home. It was a place you were forced to adapt to, much like the family you were thrown into when your mother married Ward Cameron.

You were only eight years old then, a wide-eyed child trying to make sense of this new life. But even at that young age, you could sense Rafe's disdain. He was older, already on the cusp of adolescence, and his resentment towards you was palpable. You were the intruder, the outsider who disrupted the Cameron family dynamic.

Now, a decade later, little had changed between you and Rafe. If anything, the years had only deepened the chasm between you. You tried to keep your distance, knowing that your presence in his life was unwanted. But living under the same roof made that nearly impossible.

You were in the kitchen, making a cup of tea when you heard the front door slam. The heavy, hurried footsteps that followed told you it was Rafe. His presence was almost always announced this way—loud, forceful, a storm barreling through the house.

You didn’t have to see him to know he was upset. You could feel it, like a pressure in the air that made your skin crawl. But when Rafe appeared in the doorway, his eyes wild and his hair disheveled, you couldn’t ignore him.

“What happened?” you asked cautiously, not sure if he would answer.

Rafe’s eyes snapped to you, narrowing in that way they always did when he looked at you—like you were something distasteful, something he wished would disappear. “None of your business,” he growled, moving past you to rummage through the cupboards.

You watched him, your fingers tightening around the handle of your mug. “I’m just trying to help,” you said softly, knowing your words would likely fall on deaf ears.

He slammed the cupboard door shut, making you flinch. “I don’t need your help,” he spat, turning to face you with a sneer. “You’ve been here for years, and you still don’t get it, do you? You’re not a Cameron. You never were, and you never will be.”

The words stung, even though you had heard variations of them before. But there was something particularly venomous in his tone today, something that made you realize this wasn’t just his usual hostility. He was angry—angrier than usual.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Why do you hate me so much, Rafe? What did I ever do to you?”

Rafe laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You want a list? Because I can start with the fact that you ruined everything. Before you and your mom came along, we were fine. We were a family. But then you showed up, and everything went to shit.”

You shook your head, trying to make sense of his words. “That’s not fair, Rafe. I was just a kid. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“Yeah, well, neither did I,” he snapped. “But here we are, stuck in this fucked-up situation. And every time I look at you, I’m reminded of how much I hate it.”

His words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of you. You knew Rafe didn’t like you, but hearing him say it out loud, with such malice, was something else entirely.

For a moment, the kitchen was silent except for the sound of your uneven breathing. Rafe’s gaze bore into you, his eyes dark and unforgiving. You wanted to say something, to defend yourself, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was stand there, rooted to the spot, feeling like the intruder he had always accused you of being.

Finally, Rafe shook his head, as if he were disgusted with himself for even engaging with you. “Just stay out of my way,” he muttered, brushing past you to leave the kitchen.

You watched him go, the tension in your chest slowly easing as the distance between you grew. But the ache his words had left behind didn’t fade. It lingered, a reminder that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be part of this family—not in Rafe’s eyes.

As you stood alone in the kitchen, the house around you seemed to grow colder, the warmth of the summer day outside a cruel contrast to the chill that had settled within. The Outer Banks were supposed to be a paradise, but for you, it was nothing more than a gilded cage, trapping you in a life where you didn’t belong.

And Rafe, with all his anger and resentment, was the constant reminder that you were an outsider—a permanent stain on the perfect Cameron image.

The days following your confrontation with Rafe were tense, but that wasn’t unusual. Tension had become the norm in your life at Tannyhill, and you had learned to navigate it as best you could. But this time, the tension felt different—more personal, more cutting. Rafe's words had sunk deep, and no matter how much you tried to shake them off, they lingered like a bruise that refused to heal.

You spent most of your time avoiding him, retreating to the few places in the house where you could find some semblance of peace. One of those places was the library, a grand room lined with shelves upon shelves of books. It was one of the only rooms in the house that felt like it belonged to another time, another life—somewhere far away from the chaos of the present.

You were there now, curled up in a corner with a book that you weren’t really reading. The words on the page blurred together as your thoughts drifted back to the encounter with Rafe. His anger had always been a part of your life, but now, it felt like something you couldn’t ignore, something that was slowly suffocating you.

The sound of the door creaking open pulled you from your thoughts. You tensed, hoping it wasn’t Rafe. But when you looked up, you saw Sarah standing in the doorway. Her expression was tentative, as if she wasn’t sure she was welcome.

“Hey,” she said softly, stepping into the room. “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head, offering her a small smile. “Of course not.”

Sarah walked over and sat down beside you, her gaze scanning the room before settling on you. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said. “You’ve been hiding out in here a lot lately.”

“Just trying to stay out of the way,” you replied, knowing she would understand the implication. Sarah was the one person in the house who tried to bridge the gap between you and the rest of the family. She had always been kind to you, always tried to make you feel included, even when Rafe made it clear that you weren’t.

She sighed, leaning back against the armrest. “I’m sorry about Rafe,” she said quietly. “I know he can be… difficult.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “That’s putting it mildly.”

Sarah looked at you, her eyes full of sympathy. “He’s just… he’s been through a lot. But that doesn’t excuse the way he treats you.”

You nodded, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. What was there to say? You had known Rafe was troubled from the start, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with his hatred.

“Have you talked to him?” Sarah asked after a moment. “Really talked to him?”

You shook your head. “What’s the point? He’s made it clear how he feels about me. Talking won’t change that.”

Sarah frowned, her fingers twisting a strand of her blonde hair. “Maybe not. But I think he needs to hear that you’re not the enemy. You’re not the reason things changed.”

You knew she was right, but the thought of confronting Rafe again made your stomach turn. “I don’t think he cares about what I have to say, Sarah. He’s always seen me as an outsider, someone who doesn’t belong here. I’m not a Cameron to him, and I never will be.”

Sarah was quiet for a moment, as if she was trying to find the right words. “He’s not the only one who gets to decide that,” she said finally. “You’re a part of this family, whether he likes it or not. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide because of him.”

Her words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the fear that had taken root in you. “I just don’t want to make things worse,” you admitted. “The last thing I want is to set him off again.”

Sarah reached out and placed a hand on your arm. “You won’t. I’ll talk to him. Maybe I can help him see things differently.”

You smiled weakly, appreciating the offer but doubting it would make much of a difference. “Thanks, Sarah. But I don’t want you to get caught in the middle of this.”

“I’m already in the middle,” she said with a small shrug. “But that’s what family is for, right? We stick together, even when things are tough.”

Her words hit you harder than you expected. Family was a concept that had always been complicated for you, especially since moving in with the Camerons. But hearing Sarah say it, hearing her include you in that definition, made you realize how much you longed for that connection—for a place where you truly belonged.

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I guess it is.”

Sarah gave you a reassuring smile before standing up. “Come on, let’s get out of here for a bit. We can go down to the beach or something. Clear our heads.”

You hesitated, glancing out the window at the fading light. The idea of leaving the safety of the library made you uneasy, but you knew Sarah was trying to help. And maybe getting out of the house, even for a little while, would do you some good.

“Okay,” you agreed, closing your book and standing up. “Let’s go.”

As you followed Sarah out of the library, you couldn’t help but feel a small sense of relief. For now, at least, you didn’t have to face Rafe alone. But deep down, you knew that sooner or later, you would have to confront him again—and when that time came, you weren’t sure how it would end.

The two of you walked down the grand staircase, the wooden steps creaking under your feet. The house was quiet, almost too quiet, as if it were holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. You tried to push the feeling aside, focusing instead on Sarah’s presence beside you. She was your anchor in this chaotic world, and you were grateful for it.

As you reached the front door, you hesitated for a moment, glancing back down the hallway. It was irrational, but you half-expected Rafe to appear out of nowhere, his anger boiling over once again. But the hall was empty, and the silence remained unbroken.

“Come on,” Sarah urged gently, sensing your reluctance. “It’ll be good to get some fresh air.”

You nodded, finally stepping out onto the porch. The warm evening air greeted you, carrying the scent of salt and sun-warmed earth. The sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, the sun dipping below the horizon. It was the kind of evening that should have brought you peace, but the tension in your chest refused to ease.

You followed Sarah down the steps and onto the path that led to the beach. The sand was cool beneath your feet as you kicked off your shoes, the grains slipping between your toes. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was soothing, a rhythmic reminder that the world kept turning, even when it felt like everything else was falling apart.

Sarah walked a little ahead of you, her hair catching the last rays of the sun. She glanced back at you with a smile, trying to draw you into the moment. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? This is my favorite time of day.”

You managed a small smile in return. “Yeah, it is.”

The two of you walked in companionable silence for a while, the only sounds around you coming from the ocean and the occasional call of a seabird. It was peaceful, almost serene, and you found yourself relaxing just a little. Maybe Sarah was right—maybe this was exactly what you needed.

After a few minutes, Sarah spoke again, her tone more serious. “You know, Rafe wasn’t always like this.”

You glanced at her, curious. “What do you mean?”

She sighed, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “He was different when we were younger. Before Dad… well, before everything changed. He used to be kind, protective even. But when things started going wrong, he just… I don’t know, he shut down. And then he started acting out, getting into trouble. It’s like he became someone else.”

You listened intently, trying to picture the Rafe she was describing. It was hard to imagine him as anything other than the angry, volatile person you knew now. “What happened?” you asked softly.

Sarah hesitated, as if she were weighing her words carefully. “A lot of things. Mom leaving hit him hard, harder than he let on. And then Dad… he put so much pressure on Rafe to be the man of the house, to live up to this impossible standard. I think it broke something in him.”

You had known about Rafe’s struggles with his father, but hearing it from Sarah made it feel more real. It wasn’t an excuse for his behavior, but it gave you a glimpse of the pain that might be fueling his anger. “I had no idea it was that bad,” you admitted.

Sarah nodded, her expression sad. “He won’t talk about it, not even with me. But I see it in him, every day. He’s drowning, and I don’t know how to help him. And now, with you here, it’s like he’s lashing out because he doesn’t know what else to do.”

You swallowed hard, feeling a surge of empathy for both of them. “I don’t want to make things worse for him, Sarah. I just want to find a way to coexist, to be a part of this family without everything falling apart.”

Sarah reached out and squeezed your hand, her touch warm and reassuring. “You’re already part of this family. Don’t let Rafe make you feel like you’re not. He’ll come around eventually. I know he will.”

You wanted to believe her, but a part of you couldn’t shake the doubt. Rafe’s hatred for you ran deep, and you weren’t sure if anything could change that. But for Sarah’s sake, you would try. You owed her that much.

As the sun finally dipped below the horizon, casting the beach in shadows, you felt a sense of resolve settle within you. You couldn’t change the past, and you couldn’t force Rafe to accept you. But you could control how you responded to him, how you chose to live in this fractured family.

For now, that would have to be enough.

As the last rays of sunlight disappeared, you and Sarah found a spot to sit on the sand. The ocean stretched out before you, dark and endless, a stark contrast to the earlier warmth of the day. It was as if the world was mirroring your own emotions—caught in a delicate balance between light and darkness, peace and tension.

You pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you watched the waves. Sarah sat beside you, her gaze also fixed on the horizon. For a while, neither of you spoke, content to just be in each other’s company. The quiet between you was comfortable, a welcome reprieve from the turmoil that so often surrounded you.

But even in the calm, your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. His anger, his pain—it was like a storm that loomed over you, always threatening to break. You knew it wasn’t fair to place all the blame on him, but his behavior had shaped so much of your life at Tannyhill. And no matter how much you tried to avoid it, you couldn’t escape the impact he had on you.

“Do you ever wish things were different?” you asked suddenly, the question slipping out before you could stop it.

Sarah looked at you, her brow furrowing slightly. “Different how?”

You sighed, searching for the right words. “I don’t know. I just… I wish things weren’t so complicated. I wish I didn’t feel like I have to tiptoe around Rafe all the time. I wish I could just… be.”

Sarah was quiet for a moment, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I get that,” she said finally. “I wish things were different too. I wish Rafe could see that we’re all on the same side, that we’re family. But it’s like he’s stuck in this loop of anger and resentment, and he can’t break out of it.”

You nodded, feeling a pang of sadness. “Do you think he ever will?”

“I hope so,” Sarah replied, her voice soft. “But I don’t know. Sometimes, it feels like he’s so far gone that nothing can reach him. But other times… I see glimpses of the old Rafe, the one who cared about us. I just wish those moments lasted longer.”

Her words echoed your own feelings—this constant push and pull between hope and despair, between believing that things could get better and fearing that they never would. It was exhausting, living with that uncertainty, but it was all you had.

“I don’t know how to help him,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know if I can.”

Sarah turned to you, her eyes filled with empathy. “You’ve already helped him more than you realize. Just by being here, by not giving up on him, you’re doing more than most people would. And I think, deep down, he knows that. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

You looked at her, surprised by her words. “You really think so?”

She nodded, her expression sincere. “I do. Rafe’s angry, but he’s not heartless. He’s just… lost. And maybe, in time, he’ll find his way back. But until then, we just have to keep being there for him, even when it’s hard.”

Her words gave you a small glimmer of hope, something to hold onto in the darkness. Maybe Sarah was right—maybe there was still a chance for Rafe to change, for things to get better. It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t happen overnight, but you were willing to try. For Sarah, for yourself, and maybe even for Rafe.

The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, watching as the stars began to twinkle in the night sky. The air had cooled, and you found yourself shivering slightly. Sarah noticed and nudged you with her shoulder. “Come on, let’s head back. It’s getting cold.”

You nodded, standing up and brushing the sand off your clothes. As you followed Sarah back up the path to the house, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread creeping in. The peace you had found on the beach was fleeting, and you knew that once you stepped back inside Tannyhill, the tension would return.

But you couldn’t avoid it forever. You had to face Rafe, and you had to find a way to live in this fractured family. It was the only way things would ever change.

As you approached the house, you caught sight of a figure standing by the front door. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Rafe. He was leaning against the doorframe, a cigarette dangling from his lips, the glow of the ember illuminating his face in the darkness.

Sarah stiffened beside you, her steps faltering for a moment before she continued forward. You followed her lead, trying to keep your breathing steady as you approached Rafe. His eyes flicked to you, a scowl already forming on his face.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked, his tone laced with irritation.

“Just down at the beach,” Sarah replied, her voice calm. “Needed some fresh air.”

Rafe’s gaze shifted to you, his eyes narrowing. “What about you? Hiding out again?”

You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. “Just… trying to stay out of your way.”

Rafe let out a bitter laugh, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Yeah, right. You always have to be where you’re not wanted, don’t you?”

You flinched at his words, the sting of them hitting you harder than you expected. But before you could respond, Sarah stepped in, her tone firm. “Rafe, don’t. She’s just trying to keep the peace.”

Rafe glared at her, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—guilt, maybe, or regret. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the usual anger. “Whatever,” he muttered, tossing his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his heel. “I’m going out.”

He pushed past you both, his shoulder brushing yours as he walked away. You watched him go, the tension in your chest returning with full force.

“Let him go,” Sarah said quietly, placing a hand on your arm. “He needs to cool off.”

You nodded, your eyes still fixed on Rafe’s retreating figure. As much as you wanted to believe that there was hope for him, moments like this made it hard to hold onto that belief.

But you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t give up. Not yet. Not until you had tried everything.

With a deep breath, you turned back to the house, following Sarah inside. The warmth of the house was a stark contrast to the coldness you felt inside, but you forced yourself to push those feelings aside.

For now, all you could do was take it one day at a time, hoping that eventually, the storm would pass, and there would be something left worth saving.

-

The warmth of the house greeted you as you stepped inside, but it did little to chase away the chill that had settled in your bones. The encounter with Rafe had left you rattled, and no matter how much you tried to push it aside, it lingered in the back of your mind like a dark cloud.

As the night grew deeper, Sarah suggested heading to bed, and you agreed. The exhaustion was starting to weigh on you, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes open much longer.

But as you made your way up the stairs and to your room, your mind was still racing, your thoughts still tangled in the web of emotions that had been spun over the course of the day.

You paused outside your door, glancing down the hallway toward Rafe’s room. The door was closed, and the light was off, but you knew he wasn’t asleep.

You could feel his presence like a shadow, lurking just out of sight. The anger, the resentment—it was all still there, simmering beneath the surface, waiting for the next opportunity to boil over.

With a heavy sigh, you turned away and entered your room, closing the door behind you. The familiar surroundings did little to comfort you tonight, the weight of the day’s events pressing down on you like a lead blanket.

You changed into your pajamas and slipped into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin in a futile attempt to ward off the chill that had settled in your bones.

As you lay there in the darkness, your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind, what demons he was battling in the privacy of his own room.

You wished you could reach out to him, break through the walls he had built around himself, but you didn’t know how.And maybe, deep down, you were afraid that if you did, you would only find more anger, more pain—more reasons to keep your distance.

Sleep came slowly that night, your mind refusing to quiet down long enough for you to drift off. When you finally did fall asleep, it was restless, filled with fragmented dreams that left you feeling more exhausted than before. But even in your sleep, only a name remained constant.

-

You tried to sleep, but your mind refused to let go of the events of the day. The tension between you and Rafe was like a thorn lodged deep, impossible to ignore and growing more painful with every passing moment. You tossed and turned, the silence of the house amplifying the thoughts racing through your mind. Finally, you gave up, deciding that lying in bed, wide awake, would do nothing to ease the unrest.

Quietly, you slipped out of bed and made your way to the window. You pulled the curtain aside, letting the moonlight spill into the room. Outside, the world was still, the garden bathed in silver light. The sight should have been calming, but it only made the turmoil inside you feel even more out of place.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grabbed a sweater and tiptoed out of your room. You needed to clear your head, and the fresh air might help. As you moved through the dark hallway, your steps were cautious, avoiding the spots that creaked. The last thing you wanted was to wake anyone up, least of all Rafe.

But as you passed his door, something made you stop. The door was slightly ajar, and a sliver of light spilled into the hallway. Your heart rate quickened. Rafe was awake. You hesitated, debating whether to go on with your plan to escape outside or to check on him.

Part of you wanted to keep walking, to avoid another confrontation that might end with more hurtful words, but another part of you was drawn to him—curious, worried even. Before you could overthink it, you stepped closer and gently pushed the door open.

Rafe was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. His room was a mess, with clothes and other belongings strewn about carelessly. He didn’t notice you at first, too absorbed in his own thoughts. But the moment your shadow fell across the threshold, he looked up, his eyes narrowing.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped, his voice low but filled with irritation.

You swallowed, not entirely sure what had driven you to enter. “I couldn’t sleep,” you said softly, taking a cautious step forward. “I saw your light was on.”

Rafe’s gaze flicked to the bedside lamp, as if realizing it was on for the first time. He looked back at you, his expression hardening. “So what? You came to check on me? Don’t bother.”

The sharpness of his tone made you wince, but you didn’t retreat. You stood your ground, despite the tension crackling in the air between you.

“Rafe,” you started, trying to keep your voice steady, “I just… I wanted to see if you were okay.”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, right. You don’t need to pretend like you care. You’re just another person in this house who’s waiting for me to screw up."

His words stung, but they didn’t surprise you. You’d heard them before, in different forms, always laced with the same bitterness. Still, hearing them now, when you had genuinely been concerned, cut deep.

“That’s not true,” you said quietly. “I do care, Rafe. Whether you believe it or not.”

He stood up abruptly, making you take a step back. His eyes bore into yours, intense and full of emotion that he kept bottled up most of the time. “Why? Why do you care, huh? You’re not even really part of this family. You’re just some—”

He stopped himself, but the words hung heavy in the air. Just some outsider, some girl who was forced into his life, someone who would never really belong.

You felt the lump forming in your throat, but you refused to let the tears fall. Not in front of him. “You’re right,” you said, your voice trembling despite your efforts to keep it steady. “Maybe I don’t belong. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about what happens to you.”

Rafe stared at you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you thought you saw something soften in his gaze, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the familiar mask of anger and resentment.

“Don’t waste your time on me,” he said finally, his voice cold. “You’re better off staying away.”

The finality in his tone was like a door slamming shut. It was clear he didn’t want you there, didn’t want your concern or your attempts to reach out. But instead of retreating, you took a deep breath and pushed back.

“I can’t do that, Rafe,” you said, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. “I can’t just pretend like you don’t matter. You’re my brother, whether you like it or not.”

Rafe’s eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite identify—anger, hurt, maybe even fear. But he didn’t respond, just stood there, staring at you like he was waiting for you to leave.

When you realized he wasn’t going to say anything more, you turned away, feeling the sting of rejection but refusing to let it break you. You paused at the door, looking back at him one last time.

“If you ever want to talk… I’m here,” you offered, even though you knew he wouldn’t take you up on it.

With that, you left the room, closing the door softly behind you. You leaned against it for a moment, letting out a shaky breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

This was going to be harder than you thought, but you weren’t ready to give up on Rafe. Not yet. There was something underneath all that anger, something worth saving, and you were determined to find it—even if it meant getting hurt in the process.

[aakeysmash]

Roommate or boss?

Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.

Previous part: part 4.

Next part: part 6.

A/N: High School Musical references (watch the movies!!!). I recommend you to read part 1 again, because a lot of references I made here are also said in the first chapter. This could look like a filler chapter, but it’s really important for future developments!

Word count: 2.2k.

You’re relaxing on your bed on a deserved day off, brand new AC on and a cold glass of orange juice in your hand. You’re scrolling on your phone, chuckling at various memes and sending most of them to Ochaco, who will probably complain about finding 62 videos from you and having to react to each one. You’re planning on doing absolutely nothing today, just munching on snacks and sleeping. Maybe you’re going to put on that show you’ve been wanting to see. This is the life, you think.

“FUCK THIS SHIT!”

You’re startled out of your mind, again. Katsuki has been screaming at the top of his lungs since this morning, but you don’t even know the reason why. You hear his stream of curses from the wall between your rooms.

You’re very annoyed: he’s ruining your perfect day off. How dare he. You throw punches on the wall for the upteenth time, hoping he will stop or go outside to do whatever is bugging him.

“Stop fucking doing that!” He screams back at you, and you get even angrier. You decide you had enough, so you get up from your bed and march towards his room. You throw his door open without caring about his privacy.

He snaps his head towards you, scowling worser than usual.

“D’you ever heard about fucking knocking?” He barks at you. He looks disheveled: his usually spiky hair is a mess, and you assume he keeps on yanking it; you can feel his eye bags, and he probably didn’t have a good night of sleep in two weeks.

“Damn, you look bad” you mumble looking at him from head to toe. You lose a bit of your anger and almost feel bad. Almost.

“Well, I don’t care, you’re ruining my perfect day, so if you need to scream go out” you say glaring at him.

“This is my fucking house too” he snarls. “If I want to scream because I don’t want to do this shit, then I’m gonna do it. You’re free to leave and never return” he responds looking you up and down. He’s got a point.

You scoff. Sometimes he really has the audacity to speak when he shouldn’t be speaking. “What are you even doing? What’s this big thing that’s bothering you so much?”.

He grits his teeth and stays silent. The way he doesn’t want you to know the reason why he’s so angry just makes you become more curious. Oh, I’m about to get so annoying when I find out. Just so you wait, Katsuki.

“Come on, don’t be a kid. Let’s make a deal: I’ll make you a cup of hot chocolate if you tell me” you try to bribe him. In one of his nicest moments, he complimented the way you know how to “make it just right”, just to take it back immediately after noticing those words left his mouth. Also, your roommate likes to eat and drink hot things even if it’s summer. He’s a weirdo.

He looks conflicted. He really wants a sweet treat, and he knows that he’s not capable of doing it the way you do (he already tried and failed). He blames it on the fact you keep on saying that you add a secret ingredient that he doesn’t know, because there’s just no way he’s not good at doing everything he puts his mind into. He ponders about it for what feels like 3 minutes, where you both stay completely silent.

“I’ll even add whipping cream.”

You try suppressing your grin: he’s sold, you see it in the way he grits his teeth even harder. “I’m revising my thesis’ grammar.”

You instantly become smug, all your anger forgotten. Bingo. “The big buff Bakugou Katsuki is mad about some grammar? Really? I thought you were stronger than that, pussy” you tease him with a smirk on your face.

He tries throwing you one of the books he keeps on his desk, but you dodge it. Then you lean on his door and cross your arms, while he goes on and screams “GET OUT! You’re bothering me even more”.

“Stop screaming, oh my god”, you whine. “What would it take for you to return being the quiet kid at the back of the class? You’re so annoying like this” you say exhausted. You get one day off in 3 weeks, there is no way he’s ruining it. You’re finding joy in annoying him, though, it’s so fun.

“I was never the quiet kid, I ain’t no loser like you. Get the fuck out of my room” he bites back. He doesn’t need to know it, but you were indeed the quiet kid.

“Well, guess I won’t help you then” you reply, shrugging. You didn’t even ask if he wanted your help, and you didn’t come in his room to help him, but now you’re just rubbing in his face that you can go and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, while he boils himself away in his despair.

You start closing his door, yawning and teasing him some more. “Continue screaming while I go and watch Love Island without you”. You have to turn around to hide your expression.

You hear him curse under his breath. “Fuck, wait, I really wanna see that”, he says, sounding desperate. “Aren’t you enrolled in literature or some shit?”.

You face him with the biggest devious smile you can muster. “Yeah, why?”

The vein on his forehead is about to pop. “How good are you at correcting grammar?”, he says.

You look like you won the lottery. “Ooooh you want my help? Do you want me to revise your little thesis for you? Little ol’ me? Weren’t you saying to get the fuck out?” You say walking towards his still sitting form. He’s super rigid, like asking you to help him is requiring him all the strength of the world and the planets and the solar system together. He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. He tries the breathing exercises they taught him in highschool to manage his fury, when he really started managing his anger issues. You’re getting on his last nerves, but revising all he wrote in months is also getting on his nerves.

“Can you at least pretend to not enjoy this as much as you currently are? You’re a devil” he spits out. Well, he could’ve said something meaner, so the breathing exercises must have worked a little.

“Mean. I guess you don’t want my help then”, you respond, feigning innocence.

“Let’s make one thing clear: I’m a boss at doing shit like this. I’m just tired of doing it, ‘cause I’ve been at it for a day straight. I’m good at everything, so you’ll probably find a comma that I forgot to type, not much more than that”, he adds, glaring up at you. You’re now standing next to him, but the fact he’s still sitting has you staring at him from above. This simple act is driving him insane: if he’s not in control he gets antsy, and you seem to know it, because you’re standing really proud.

You decide on dropping the facade a little, because you enjoy revising things. And he does look exhausted.

“Sure, send me the file and I’ll look into it” you say. Now you’re going outside of his room to make his chocolate, but he thinks you’re just running away.

“Wait. What do you want in return?” He says squinting at you. There’s no way she’s doing it because she’s nice, he thinks.

You look at him, dumbfounded. “Huh?”

“Don’t fucking “huh” me. What do you want? Why are you doing this?” He responds, serious.

You raise one eyebrow and stay silent for a bit, then you tell him “Because I’m nice? Have you ever heard about kindness? Not everything is a transaction, business man” then you close his door without waiting for an answer, leaving him confused and somewhat angry.

You start doing his hot chocolate while singing to yourself, when suddenly his door is thrown open and he exits it, staring at you.

“Tell me what you want” he says coming closer to you and crossing his arms. It sounds more like a statement than a question.

You look at him and respond “Tell me what you neeeed”, singing.

“What the fuck are you saying?”

“High School Musical? That one scene in the second film where they all sing in the kitchen? Really?” You ask, and he looks confused.

“I’ve never seen those films. They look pathetic.” He responds, rolling his eyes and looking at you putting whipping cream on his hot chocolate. You look shocked, and you hang your mouth open.

“You’ve never seen High School Musical?!” You almost scream.

He winces, rubs his ears and then proceeds to say “What’s so weird about it? It’s not like it’s a cult or something”.

“Yes! Yes it is! You know what? We’re going to watch it right now. And you can’t refuse, or I won’t revise your thesis” you tell him while poking him in the chest. Soft.

He kisses his teeth, huffs and goes to sit himself on the couch.

“I knew you weren’t doing it for free, manipulator” he glares at you.

You shrug, while putting his cup in front of him and bringing him some cookies. He mumbles a thanks, relaxing.

“I was going to help you regardless, but if I can make you suffer it’s funnier” you tell him, positioning yourself next to him and stealing one of the biscuits you brought for him.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“A bitch who’s going to do your work, so shut up and watch people fall in love in highschool” you bite back. You both roll your eyes.

Neither to say, he hates the movies with a passion. He thinks that high school is portrayed poorly, that Gabriella is the real villain, that they’re all pretentious bitches, that Troy should’ve went away because none of them were truly his friends since they weren’t supporting him.

You keep on huffing while he tells you all these “that”s.

“Katsuki, it’s not like it’s reality. It’s a musical. Just focus on the songs and the love, damn” you whine while throwing a punch at his bicep. He doesn’t budge and your hand hurts.

“That’s not my definition of love” he simply states.

“Yeah? And what’s your definition of love?” You ask him, curious.

He raises one of his eyebrows. “Why would I share something like that with you?”.

“Because I’m doing your work. And we’re friends. Sort of. And you like my chocolate” you respond, while blushing a little. You know you tend to be a little too curious and nosey, but it’s just because you pay a lot of attention to details. Details are everything to you. You’re quick to backtrack seeing his hostile behaviour towards this topic, and you start saying that it’s not a big deal and you should’ve minded your business, when he interrupts you.

“And what is your definition of love?”

He looks relaxed, like asking this isn’t that bothersome. Like he wants you to know you too. Like he cares, in some way.

“Love is a lot of things for me” you resort to say. Just how much can you be specific without scaring him away?

“Yeah, you’re waiting for me to talk about it first. I get it, dumbass. I’m not very good with words on this aspect though, so I’m sorry, but your curiosity won’t be quelled” he responds, rolling his eyes. From the start of this conversation he hasn’t stopped breathing normally, almost as if this is a regular conversation for him. He hasn’t stopped looking at you, too, but you’re trying to ignore that.

“Then let’s make a deal. Saturday we’re picking a thing that we think helps us explain what we think about love” you burst out. He’s about to protest, but you’re not finished.

“Love as in general love! Love can be outside of romantic relationships too, so let’s settle on love between friends! I’d never go out with you like that” you add. You jump out of the couch. You feel like you might catch on fire if you stay near him one more second. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you like you’re something he wants to dissect.

“Okay” he simply responds. You’re dumbfounded.

“Really? You’re okay with this? I thought you were going to say no” You say.

“Yeah, but let’s say that we can both decide on either going out or staying in. This is not a date, you said it yourself, so I don’t see a problem with it. It will just be like one of our movie nights, it’s not like we never spend time together, dumbass” he says, getting up and stretching his hand towards you.

“So? Are you in? Or are you scared of doing something much less meaningful than me?” He tells you, smirking.

You glare at him and compose yourself. Then, you stretch his hand.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

Taglist:

@perfectsukii @sleepykittycx @what-the-jams @bakunianadecorazon @vensunzy @eyesforbkg @bffrrufr @imas1mpp @cold-deep-water @peonies-and-teacakes @berryvioo

I couldn’t tag the ones in pink :(

[damiansgoodgirll]

Hiii I love Ur judgment day x readers they are so adorable

Could you please write a JD (Platonic) x Reader where Y/n gets in a bad fight with their partner and they comfort them

the judgment day x reader (platonic)

‼️cheating and gaslighting, your bf name in this is alexander bc my ex name is alexander and now i hate alexanders

(i love this pic btw)

i don’t wanna love

“you’re overacting!” your boyfriend alexander kept screaming at you.

overreacting?

“so you’re telling me there’s nothing between the two of you? that i’ve been hallucinating for the past month?” you screamed back, tired of trying talking with him.

“there’s nothing between me and her” he said, lying. because of course you had the proofs that he was cheating, that he was seeing someone else while you were out touring.

“how can i fucking believe you when i have proofs!”

“what proofs?” he asked, not caring about the whole cheating part.

“the pictures of you two together? the messages? the-…”

“you went over my phone without even asking me?” he was angrier that before.

“i did! because you wouldn’t tell me the truth! you can’t deny what i just found!”

“okay, fine! i cheated, is that what you wanted me to say? i did it, and i wasn’t proud of it but you were always gone and i was here alone waiting for you every week to come home, i got tired and i wanted to have some fun and one night i went to this club where i met her, and she was always there for me, it wasn’t just sex, there was a connection…she understood me, she was there when you were out wrestling with your friends!” he said, not feeling guilty at all.

you couldn’t believe he was blaming him cheating on you on the fact that you were away from home because of your job.

“i can’t believe it that you are blaming your fucking childish behaviour on me being away because of my job!”

“i needed you and you weren’t there!” he kept screaming.

“so the best solution was fucking some bitch you met at the bar uh?” you were done with it “you have ten minutes to pack your things and get out of my house!”

“what are you talking about? where am i supposed to go?” he asked you.

“i don’t know, ask my replacement if you can stay at her’s, i don’t care, now, move before i call the police. this is my house, do you remember?” you said locking yourself in the guest bedroom and waiting for him to be over with packing.

you were sure you heard him closing the door once he was done packing and leaving your house. you were too tired to even go back into the master bedroom that you cried yourself to sleep right where you were.

the morning after you were supposed to go at rhea’s as you guys needed to prepare your upcoming match but you were drained and had no energy. you felt like shit and all you wanted to do was staying in bed and cry.

the team immediately knew something was up when you didn’t show up at her place. so instead of calling your or texting, you found them in front of your door.

“what are you doing here?” you asked them.

“we were worried. you didn’t show up, you didn’t call or text, we thought you were sick or that something happened…wait, were you crying?” rhea stopped when she saw your red eyes.

“no” you lied.

“whats going on love?” finn soft voice almost made you want to cry again. he always had a soft spot for you, treating you like a daughter.

“i just…i wanna be alone today…now, can you please go?” you almost begged them but they got it as an invitation to come inside so now you found yourself with your friends sitting on your couch, waiting for an explanation from you.

“what is going on uh?” damian asked you again.

“alexander and i broke up…” you whispered and waited for them to talk but they let you continue “he was cheating on me and i found out…instead of apologising he blamed it on me, saying that it was my fault because i was away touring and he needed me here…i just…what did i do wrong?” you cried again and now rhea was sitting next to you, holding you in her arms.

“you didn’t do anything wrong y/n…” she whispered.

“he was saying how much he wanted to marry me, to have a family with me just to find out that he was fucking someone else behind my back…it fucking hurts because i was ready to be with him for the rest of my life…i really loved him” you cried harder and rhea swore that alexander was a dead man.

“hey…” finn, the parental figure inside the whole group sweet talked to you “it’s not worth it…crying for him? it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it…i know you’re hurting right now and it will hurt for a while but eventually it’ll pass…it’ll get better, trust me…”

“thank you…” you whispered.

still crying in rhea’s arms as she let you. you never experienced such heartbreak and the pain you were feeling was too much.

“i just don’t understand how it went so downhill…everything was going perfectly…i would have noticed if something was wrong but i swear, everything looked normal” you cried.

“it’s not your fault love” finn said.

“finn’s right, you couldn’t have noticed…if he was acting normal, you couldn’t have noticed the sudden changes in his persona…i’m so sorry it happened to you, you don’t deserve it…” dominik said while sitting on the carpet, in front of you.

“i swear… i don’t wanna fall in love anymore” hearing such words coming from you hurt the group. you’ve always been the sweet and romantic one, you’ve always dreamed of a fairytale life and now you believed everything was a lie.

rhea looked sad “don’t say that love, it’s just a phase but you will feel better, i promise you”

of course. you were complaining about your disastrous love life with dom, who just got married, rhea, who’s gonna get married soon, finn, who’s been married for years and damian, someone that wasn’t looking for love and couldn’t understand anything about love.

“it’s easy coming from you…you’re all happy and in a healthy relationship, you all trust each other and i’m pretty sure you’ve never been cheated on” you regretted immediately saying that but you were hurting.

“we had our painful break ups too honey…” rhea said. she knew you were hurting so she didn’t mind it.

“did they cheat on you?” you asked them.

“no but…”

“exactly” you said, drowning your head in your pillows.

“what rhea was trying to say is that break ups are always hurtful, whether you get cheat on or not…and this pain you’re feeling, will get better, in a month or two you’ll be feeling better…” damian spoke softly to you. knowing that you were already in pain and that he didn’t want to upset you more.

“we will leave you alone if you want to…” rhea said, not wanting to leave you alone but she knew you probably needed time for yourself.

“no please…” you said shocking everyone.

“okay…then we’ll stay here…we can watch a movie if you want to” finn suggested and you all agreed.

“no rom com please” you said making them laugh.

rhea’s idea was to watch a horror movie but while they were all watching the movie you ended up falling asleep, too tired for all the tears you’ve been crying.

[whumpshaped]

tw shitty parent (mom), ableism, lashing out, pet whump, conditioned whumpee, misplaced anger

Whumpee moved without thinking, taking the jar of apricot jam from the shelf to open it for their master. It was nothing but a simple act of mindless servitude, an attempt at making their master’s life as easy as possible — and that innocent intent was the exact reason why the punch felt so out of the blue, and why they made no move to defend themself.

They stumbled back, whimpering like a kicked dog, almost thankful when Whumper snatched the jar from their hands before they could drop it. “Fucking idiot,” Whumper grumbled, and Whumpee ducked their head in shame and fear. “As if I can’t open a fucking jar myself.”

That made a small, almost proud part of their pet brain perk up. That wasn’t even remotely the reason they wanted to do it. Of course Whumper could open a jar. It would’ve been silly to assume otherwise. They just wanted to be a good pet!

“I just wanted to help,” they said timidly as Whumper went to sit down, steadying the jar between their thighs before unscrewing the lid with their intact hand, so forcefully that it almost made Whumpee flinch.

“I don’t need your goddamn help!” they snapped, slamming the lid on the table. This time, Whumpee did flinch. “I can open a fucking jar on my own!”

Whumpee dropped to their knees, terrified of making their owner any angrier. “I understand,” they squeaked. “I know, I understand, I– I understand. Master doesn’t need the stupid pet, Master doesn’t need the stupid pet’s help. I’m grateful for whatever you allow me to do for you, Master. I’m so sorry I overstepped.”

They knelt there, trembling, waiting for a verdict for what seemed like an eternity to their anxious mind. They heard the thump of the full jar being placed on the table, then Whumper’s heavy sigh.

“Whatever,” they said eventually. “Guess I’ve been in a bad mood lately.”

They didn’t move, not wanting to interrupt in case Whumper chose to share more. And they did; within a few seconds, the words just came tumbling out of them.

“Mom keeps pestering me about the ‘new and improved technology’, and how I should give it another go, because this time it’ll work, it’ll be just like I’d always had a ‘nice, healthy arm’. Because that’s so important. Because my arm isn’t nice or healthy now. Fuck, I can’t believe I still try to talk to her on the phone… Every single time I think it won’t be that bad. Maybe this is how she feels about the doctors.”

Whumpee cautiously looked up at them, heartbroken to see the sheer bitterness on Whumper’s face. “But why?” they asked quietly, frowning. “You don’t… want it. The last time– the last time you said it hurt–”

“She wants it.” They held out their hand, and Whumpee quickly crawled closer, immediately soothed by their master’s fingers in their hair as they started petting them. “Guess she just fucking hates looking at me. But she’s shit out of luck, pet. I don’t care anymore. She can shove the miracle prosthesis up her ass.”

“I’m sorry she’s bothering you, Master.”

Whumper sighed again, nowhere near as dramatically as that first time. “What’re you gonna do… I didn’t mean to punch you, by the way. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Whumpee nuzzled against their hand. “Is the pet allowed to make toast for Master, then?”

“Yeah. Maybe the pet is the only one allowed to make toast for Master.”

[luvrsofbts]

I Do Love You

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: tiny angst, fluff, soft boyfie yoon :(

Summary: You doubt your relationship with Yoongi.

A/N: Late birthday post for this man <3

-

The clock strike 2 as you sat on the sofa of Yoongi’s house, mindlessly scrolling through social media. You had been waiting for your boyfriend to come home, which was what he said an hour ago, but it seems like that was all a lie.

Be home in an hour babe

Miss n love u more

Those were the last texts sent by Yoongi. Not knowing when he was actually going to come home, you decided to pay him a visit at his studio.

-

As you entered into your boyfriend’s studio, you were greeted with his back facing you. Headphones in and hands on the mouse and keyboard like every other time you would come here.

“Yoongi, it’s almost three in the morning, are you coming home yet?” You scolded, tapping him.

“Oh shit! Y/N, you scared me!” Yoongi jumped, bringing a hand to his chest as he tried to catch his breath. “What are you doing here, baby? I was just about to come home,”

“Yeah, right. You said that almost two hours ago, yet here you are,” You huffed, a frown on your face.

“I’m sorry- I guess I just got caught up, you know how I am,”

“Save it, Yoongi. You know, sometimes it feels like you care more about your job than you do me,”

“What are you talking about?” He questioned.

“This! I’m talking about this! I haven’t seen you in weeks because of our busy schedule, but I still made time today to see you and you knew that too!” You exclaimed, feeling angrier by the minute.

“I know that, but-,”

“Stop. Just stop,”

“Y/N, listen to me-,”

“Do you even love me anymore?” You asked timidly.

“Baby… how could you even ask that?” Yoongi looked at you with sad eyes.

You shrugged, getting teary eyed as you darted from your boyfriend’s face to the ground.

“I do love you, of course I love you!” He proclaimed, standing up and walking to you. “Shit, Y/N. I love you more than anything in this world,”

Taking you into his arms, you started crying silently.

“I’m sorry, I just missed you so much,” You muffled into his chest, squeezing onto him like he could easily slip away.

“My sweet princess, I missed you so much more,” Yoongi whispered into your hair. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I should be the one that’s sorry, I didn’t know you have been feeling this way,”

“It’s okay, I know how much you love music,”

“I do, but that shouldn’t make my girl doubt our relationship or especially my love for her,”

Hearing the reassurance from Yoongi definitely made you feel better.

“I’m your girl…” You stated shyly.

“Yes, my girl. My sweet, loving girl,” Your boyfriend chuckled, pulling away before smashing his lips onto yours.

You melted right into the kiss, kissing back passionately as you tried to pull Yoongi closer to you as if he wasn’t already.

“Let’s get home now, yeah?”

You nodded, Yoongi leaning in and stealing a few more kisses from you.

“If you ever feel like this again, talk to me, baby,” He consoled.

You nodded, “Okay, I will. I love you,”

“I love you. Forever,”

-

Another A/N: this was very short but I needed to write something bc I miss yoon so much 😭

[lemoncrushh]

Seven Six Five - Part Four

Summary: They met once seven years ago. Now music has made them cross paths again.

Warnings: smut, body image issues, angst. 18+ ONLY!

A/N: Enemies to Lovers. This was originally written and posted in 2020, right before the pandemic, so the story takes place then with flashbacks of 2013. Harry Styles x Plus Size OC, written in third person.

Part Four Word Count: 3.1k+

STORY PAGE

28 February, 2020 - New York, NY, USA...12:17AM

Bronwyn sat on her bed sideways, her back against the wall. Her ears suddenly felt as though they were filled with cotton, or maybe water, and her own voice in her head was crying from oceans away. She picked at a loose thread on the knees of her overalls, a patch that her friend Sylvia had sewn on for her after she’d purchased them at a thrift shop two seasons ago. Though she knew Harry was waiting for her to say more, she was grateful he broke the silence first.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked.

“Um...reckoned I should hear you out.”

“Hear me out?”

“Yeah.”

With a long sigh, Bronwyn let the next words roll around in her brain before she said them aloud.

“A few years ago, I told one of my best friends about you. About when we met. And she said if I ever got the chance, I should hear you out. Hear your side of the story.”

“What story, love? That’s what I don’t understand. All I know is we were having a great time, or so I thought. We’d made plans to leave together, and to meet near the lift. When I got there, you weren’t there yet, so I waited. I waited for...a long time. I even circled back around the hallway and checked the party. You never showed.”

“I know,” Bronwyn whispered.

“Why?”

“Because...you hurt me.”

“What? How?”

Bronwyn was quiet for a long while. She could hear Harry’s breaths through the phone until they finally merged with her own.

“Bronwyn? Talk to me. Please.”

She could almost hear the crackle in her throat as she opened her mouth and let out another sigh. She’d imagined telling him this a million times, visualised having this conversation. But it had always gone differently in her head. In those scenarios, she’d been angry and accusing, ready to put him in his place. Now she felt...vulnerable.

“When you’d left to go find your bandmates,” she began, “I went to the loo and to retrieve my camera. I was feeling pretty good, from the drinks, but also just from being with you. You made me feel...like no one had before. Like you didn’t see the plump girl. You just saw me. When I made my way back toward the lifts, I heard voices and noticed some of your bandmates standing inside a doorway and realised you were with them. There was some laughter and chatter, and I couldn’t make out all of it. But what I definitely know I heard was you telling them you were leaving with me. And someone else asked if...that was the chubby hippie chick or the hot redhead.”

“Bron-”

“And as if that didn’t sting enough,” she continued hastily, her voice starting to rise, “someone else...Zayn, I think...said, ‘it’s definitely not the hot redhead.’”

“God, Bronwyn, I-”

“You know what hurt the most?” she choked, not letting Harry get a word in. “That I didn’t hear you say anything else. You didn’t stick up for me, or tell them to piss off. I just heard more laughter. At least until I ran out of the building and hailed a taxi.”

“Shit…”

“Yeah. So...as much as I thought giving you a chance to give your side was a good idea when I called…” argued Bronwyn, feeling her blood boil from the memory, “I don’t really see the point now. Because dredging all of this up again has only made me angrier. So I’ll just hang up now before-”

“Stop!” Harry interrupted. “Please, love, let me talk.”

“What’s the point, Harry? You didn’t really want me. I just happened to be there that night to...stroke your ego or whatever it was.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then what was your plan? You were gonna take me to bed and pretend you were into it in order to get your rocks off, and then make some excuse to leave right after?”

“Absolutely not!”

Bronwyn scoffed. “Sure. You probably couldn’t wait to go back to your mates and compare notes.”

“Listen to me, Bronwyn. Whatever you heard...or thought you heard...I can assure you, I never ever laughed at you or about you. Ever.”

Bronwyn was silent as she bit her lip, hoping that would stop the tears that were trickling down her cheeks.

“First of all,” Harry continued, “I don’t remember anyone making that remark about you, but that’s not saying they didn’t. And as for not sticking up for you...if it was said, then I most sincerely apologise, for my idiot bandmate, and for not telling him where to shove it. But...I was nineteen, Bronwyn. I know, that’s not a valid excuse. But at this point...it’s the only one I got. I was a stupid, horny teenager, full of piss. To be completely honest, I don’t even remember having a conversation with my bandmates about you. And I most certainly have no idea who the redhead was that you speak of, because if memory serves, I was with you all evening. All I remember is you, and having the best time getting to know you, and that kiss we shared in the alcove, and my heart pounding because I couldn’t wait to be alone with you. So if anything at all was said negatively about you...please know those were not my sentiments, and I sincerely apologise for making you think otherwise.”

Unable to utter a word, Bronwyn sniffled. She wanted it to be true. She wanted that so badly.

“You still there?”

“Yeah,” she whispered with another sniffle.

“Oh love, I am sorry. I had no idea. I looked all over for you. I didn’t know what happened, other than you must’ve changed your mind. I was pretty gutted, to be honest.”

“Not as much as me.”

Bronwyn could hear Harry let out a deep breath. “Do you really think that’s how I thought of you?”

“Why not? It made the most sense.”

“No, it makes no sense. If that was the case, then why would I have asked you to leave with me? Why would I have kissed you or...even bothered getting to know you in the first place?”

“I dunno.”

“I don’t play games, Bronwyn. I didn’t then, and I don’t now. I wasn’t trying to...prove anything to my mates or make a bet or string you along and make you think I liked you when I didn’t. Because I did! I thought you were beautiful. Those long, gorgeous curls, that heart shaped face...the way your eyes dance when you talk about music. And those were just things I liked right away, before we…”

Harry’s words trailed off with another sigh. Bronwyn sucked in her lips as Harry’s compliments reminded her more of that night, of the feeling she had with him. It made her warm from the inside, all the way down to her toes.

“All I can do now is apologise, I guess,” Harry commented, his tone sincere. “I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“I dunno, Harry. I want to. It’s just...I’ve hated you for so long because of that night.”

“Ouch. Hate’s a strong word.”

“I know,” Bronwyn mumbled. “But you hurt me. Or at least...I thought you had. I don’t…”

“Hmm. I don’t suppose we could start over. Although I’d hate to forget that night completely. But maybe I could help you forget the bad parts.”

“Maybe.”

“I like that maybe. Gives me hope.”

“The records have helped,” Bronwyn admitted.

“Yeah? Have you listened to them both?”

“I have. And I’ve enjoyed them. Even yours.”

Harry chuckled deeply at the tiny dig. “I’m glad. I can bring some more, if you like.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” declared Harry. “If you’ll let me.”

After a much-needed full night’s sleep, Bronwyn was ready to tackle a new day. The conversation with Harry had put her mind at ease for the most part, although she knew it was going to take some time to completely heal. Despite the knowledge that Harry had never said or done anything to hurt or mock her, that sour, unsettling feeling she’d carried with her for the last seven years wasn’t going to melt away overnight. Perhaps she needed a bit of self-love, she’d told herself, although Harry’s complimentary words about her the night before weren’t taken lightly. In fact, when she’d gotten out of bed that morning, she let them echo in her brain, making herself smile.

She had another reason to smile too, a couple hours later when Antonella phoned her with another job opportunity. This time it was there in New York, and it was for a local band that she’d seen a handful of times already. They were familiar with her work, and she with theirs, so she was always happy to oblige.

Sat in the middle of her flat, Bronwyn decided to unload all of her camera equipment to be cleaned. She’d just gotten to work when she heard the buzzer. Though Harry had said he would drop by sometime in the afternoon, he hadn’t been sure when, depending on his schedule. Rising from the floor, Bronwyn walked to the intercom.

“C’mon up, Harry,” she called.

“How’d you know it was me?” he laughed.

“Nobody else rings my buzzer in the middle of the day,” she chided as she pressed the button to let him in the building.

After opening the door just a crack, Bronwyn sat back down to continue her task. She heard the heavy footsteps on the stairs before the door creaked open a bit more.

“Hi,” he greeted, his foot not quite over the threshold.

Bronwyn looked up from the lens she was cleaning to smile at him. “Hi.”

Harry leant his shoulder against the doorframe as he took in the sight.

“Look at you,” he said.

“What?”

“You look…”

Bronwyn tilted her head. “I look what?”

“Happy,” he replied with a grin.

With a shrug and tinge of a blush, Bronwyn looked back at her lens. “I’m alright. You can come in. No need to stand in the doorway.”

She heard the door shut before Harry stepped into the apartment, his leather loafers clicking on the hardwood floor.

“I take it from your spiffy shoes and ensemble that you’ve either just come from that important meeting you mentioned, or you’re on your way,” Bronwyn remarked as she looked up at him again.

The sun shone through the large window just as Harry beamed at her, reflecting his own light like a prism.

“Actually, it’s both. Had a meeting this morning, but I’ve got another interview later. But I promised I’d stop by with another record.”

“And I said you didn’t have to,” Bronwyn argued.

Harry merely shrugged, a smug expression on his face that made Bronwyn simultaneously want to giggle and slap him.

“No tote bag this time, ‘m ‘fraid,” he said, holding a large paper bag. “Just came from the shop, and this was all they ‘ad.”

Rolling her eyes, her lips twitching as they threatened to smile, Bronwyn rose from the floor to accept the bag.

“It’s one I didn’t see in your collection, and I think you should have,” Harry explained as she pulled out the Zombies album.

“Oh, yes, I’ve been needing this one!” she gasped, quickly flipping it over to examine the back cover. “Thanks, Harry!”

“You’re welcome, love,” he grinned wider, reaching a hand out to touch her arm.

The electricity was almost too much to bear as their eyes locked. As cliche as it sounded in her head, Bronwyn felt as though time had stood still. She suddenly wanted the space between them to erase, but when Harry dropped his hand and cleared his throat, she was a bit disappointed. He’d kissed her just yesterday. He’d said he wanted to continue the kiss. Had something changed?

“Um…I was...just about to make a pot of coffee, would you like some?” she offered.

“Oh. Um...no, actually, I do have to leave in just a few. I only came by to give you the record.”

“Okay,” Bronwyn tried not to frown. She’d known he was busy today. “Is...everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Why?”

“I dunno. Just...making sure. After last night…”

Bronwyn internally groaned at herself. What was she doing? She’d been the one all tough as nails with her guard up, and suddenly one little drop of a hand made her come unglued.

“No,” Harry shook his head, his eyes widening. “God no, love! You mean..” he gestured between them.

Bronwyn shrugged. “I mean, if it’s awkward now…”

“Not at all,” argued Harry as he stepped forward. “If anythin’s awkward it’s just me. I’m trying to…”

“Trying to what?”

“Y’know. Give you time.”

Bronwyn furrowed her brows in confusion as Harry chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m trying to wait and let you take this at your pace. But Jesus, you have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you as soon as I saw you sat there on the floor with the sun shining behind you.”

Bronwyn’s face softening, she took a step forward as well. “Really?”

A smile spreading across his face, Harry nodded. “Yeah.”

As though time wanted to play a cruel trick on them both, Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Shit,” he muttered, looking at the screen. “Sorry, I have to take this. Do you mind?”

Shaking her head, Bronwyn gestured toward the bedroom. Harry walked through the beaded curtain while she tried to busy herself in the kitchen, making the coffee although it was the last thing she wanted now.

She heard Harry say a few short phrases followed by a “sure, thanks Jeffrey,” before he appeared at her side, making her jump.

“Sorry love, I have to go,” he said. They’ve switched some things around, and I have to be somewhere in twenty minutes.”

“No worries.”

“Mind if I use your…toilet before I go?” he asked, wiggling his finger toward the loo.

Bronwyn giggled. “Of course not.”

With the door shut, she let out a deep breath. She could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest. Harry’s confession had thrown her for a loop. One the one hand, she was appreciative of him respecting her boundaries and letting her take her time. But...something had happened when he’d touched her. She’d definitely felt a spark, and so had he. And then hearing him say how badly he’d wanted to kiss her...God, she wanted to kiss him too…

The click of the doorknob startled her, and she turned to see Harry emerge from the bathroom. He looked so handsome in his lavender shirt as he tucked it into the back of his trousers. Before he had a second to even look up, however, Bronwyn strode across the room and backed him into the wall, planting a bold kiss on his mouth.

Surprise was quickly replaced with approval, followed by lust as Harry gladly accepted her advances and fell into the kiss. Moaning slightly, he ran his hands up her back and into her hair, threading his fingers through her curls. Though Bronwyn had been the aggressor, Harry soon took over, guiding their lips and tongues where he thought appropriate. The stubble on his chin and upper lip added friction as he cupped her head, holding her and keeping her where he wanted her to be, with Bronwyn continuing to press her body against his.

Finally releasing each other, their chests fell with heavy breaths. Harry’s face lit up, giving her a signature smirk.

“So does this mean you like me now?” he asked, his voice a couple decibels lower than usual.

“Nope,” Bronwyn replied, popping the P at the end.

“No?”

“Not even close. Not even a little bit.”

“Maybe it means you just hate me a little less.”

“Hmm. Maybe,” she teased, finally backing away from the wall, letting him free.

“Mhm,” Harry nodded as he adjusted himself and headed for the door. “I’ll get there, Bronwyn. You’ll like me eventually. If I have to keep chiseling away at the stone, or peeling back the layers one by one, I’ll get you to like me. I’ll win you over, somehow.”

“Well now, you’re just being cocky. And I really don’t like cocky.”

“Mmm.” Opening the door, Harry turned with another smirk, poking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “We’ll see about that.”

She couldn’t get him off her mind. Lying in bed, Bronwyn stared at the ceiling. So many emotions had come and gone in the last few days, spinning her life around and flipping it topsy-turvy. Seven years ago...heck, four days ago...she’d never thought she’d ever feel differently about Harry Styles. She’d been determined to despise him forever if that’s what it took, or at the very least eventually feel indifferent until she’d finally forgotten all about him. But now…

Turning onto her side, she quietly hummed one of his songs she’d had stuck in her head all day, even after listening to the Zombie’s record. She could finally admit she really liked his music because...well...she liked him, too.

Just as she began to wonder what he was doing, her phone buzzed on the nightstand. Reaching over to retrieve it, she saw it light up again and saw his name displayed. Never had she thought receiving a text in the middle of the night would make her happy. She chuckled, however, when she realised it was barely 11PM.

Are you asleep?

That’s a stupid question. You wouldn’t be able to reply if you were.

Giggling out loud, Bronwyn typed her response.

I’m in bed, but I’m not asleep yet. How was your interview?

It was okay. My mind kept drifting though. Not sure how it’s gonna turn out.

Drifting to what?

You, of course.

Me?

Yes. That kiss.

Bronwyn sent the emoji of the monkey with its hands over its mouth.

Sorry.

Haha no you’re not.

Bronwyn let out a cackle as she imagined Harry’s smug grin.

Sure I am. I don’t want you botching an interview because of me.

Probably my own fault. I was the one who decided to come by before. I reckon I would have kissed you eventually.

Oh, you would have? Bronwyn chaffed.

Maybe.

Well, sorry I beat you to it.

I’m not. It was great.

Bronwyn smiled as she sent a big smiling emoji.

Have to sleep. More work tomorrow. Call you later?

Yes please.

Goodnight Bronwyn x

Night Harry xx

Returning her phone to the table, Bronwyn laid on her back again, shaking her head at herself. Amazing, she pondered, that his voice wasn’t even needed to make her smile. Just knowing he was thinking of her...and that kiss…

Is your heart fluttering yet?

Please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[kerrikins]

Prologue: Non was not 'cheating' and Jin was wrong to film the video.

Now, with that said, I find it FASCINATING that there is very little discussion on Phee's reaction to finding out about Non and Keng. Because it's very clear that Phee is hurt and views this as Non cheating on him.

Last night I posted the video where Copper talks about Jin's motivations in taking the video, and one of the things that he mentions is that Jin had thought of Non as a good person, and when he sees Non with Keng he's shocked that he's cheating on his boyfriend. This is part of what leads him to record the two.

This has made some people even angrier and they have said that this makes things worse because Non isn't cheating so how dare Jin think this way, obviously he should know it's SA, etc.

Now again, I agree that Non isn't cheating, but if we're all agreed on that then it brings me back to that same question above - why is Jin torn apart for this thought process, but Phee isn't?

Again: set aside 'but Jin took the video' because I already agree that this is wrong.

But if we're vilifying Jin for thinking that in addition to the video, why is Phee not being vilified for his words to Non, and the fact that he followed that up by telling Non to disappear and die?

I could see people excusing it because Phee loves Non, but... I don't know. Isn't it almost worse for someone who cares about Non so deeply to react this way and use those words against him? I always find it a bit strange when people use love to justify horrible behaviour, because I kind of feel like love actually means you should be held to a higher standard, not lower.

(I want to pause here to say that I am both a Phee and Jin defender and I don't hate either of them. My intention here isn't to shit on Phee in order to defend Jin. In my personal opinion this is meant to be a painfully accurate depiction of how the world actually reacts to situations like this, by the way. We see it in the social media comments, in Phee's reaction, Jin's reaction, Non's parents. The world is not kind to those who are abused, and DFF is illustrating that with painful detail.)

Now for me personally, I think it's possible - I don't know how likely - but it's possible that this parallel could come up later. Because I'm sure that Phee bears regrets for his words, the same as Jin regrets his actions with the video. And I'm wondering if it's possible that the two of them will understand each other more than people think that they will. They may not, but will Phee hear an echo of himself if Jin confesses that he was so angry that Non was cheating on his boyfriend that he took the video?

Of course it's definitely plausible that Phee will simply be angry, which I could certainly understand. Not only is it horror but it's also understandable if Phee's anger over the video overrides everything else, so anything goes - and it could be that he knows nothing of what Jin has done and is furious and heartbroken when he finds out. It's also possible that if he's in it for revenge, this just cements how he feels.

At any rate, I'd like to see the show touch on this again - both Phee's words, and Jin's actions. Ideally I'd like to see it come up when the two of them are talking to each other, because I think that there are more similarities here than people realize at first look. Whether it is a point of mutual understanding or a point that escalates Phee's fury is something that we'd have to way and see.

[persephone11110]

Trust In Me

tom kazansky x reader

warnings: abusive relationships(not Ice/Reader), talks of injuries, blood, curse words, self victim blaming,low self esteem, derogatory words used ,suicide attemp angst w/happy ending??

• Please tread lightly as this story is heavily about abuse.

Summary: Ice knew the signs of abuse, when he was a young boy he watched his mother get covered in black and blue bruises, and he’s not letting that happen to Hound. Not Again

callsign:Hound

Last Name: Miller

- navy inaccuracies

- one day im going make a happy story with Ice

- -

The great Hound Miller, Lieutenant Commander in the navy, the first woman in history to be indoctrinated into top gun. The first woman to graduate and successfully be the top of her class.

Hound Miller was strong, scary, cold-hearted on the oustide. The woman never broke a sweat during missions, always face death with a straight face, yet on the inside was as broken as anyone could be.

In the inside she was a woman who faced the abuse her boyfriend put her through. The bruises that covered her back as Josh spent morning, even and night punishing her for the mistakes she made.

She had developed a cold exterior as a consequence of the pain and suffering she had endured.

Who’s knows maybe she’ll get the guts to leave him. Maybe she’ll realize her worth and leave him.

But she can’t, because under all that aviation shit all she is a weak little bitch, not directly her words but Josh’s. A weak little bitch, who wouldn’t leave because she has nothing, not inch of space to claim as hers. She sure as hell no one to take her in, no one wants her, no one going to put up with her like Josh does.

But he’s right.

What strong woman can deal with almost dying everyday, but not be strong enough to leave.

- -

She finally got guts to leave him. What a mistake.

Hound never thought he lose it in public, where other people could see his facade crack and break.

To see were he isn’t the perfect boyfriend.

“Are you fucking dumb Y/n, did you really think you could leave me?”, venom laces his voice as he shouts at her, his facade slowly dropping.

His backhand flys across her face, she whimpers as she’s feels the stinging.

She knows better, Hound knows what to say, when to say and how to say it but she’s fucking exhausted. Has been for awhile, she’s knows love isn’t supposed to be like this, it’s not like that in poems, rom-cons, and novel.

She doesn’t care anymore, Hound is done being his broken toy, she doesn’t care if he beats her to death atleast she’s in peace.

She flinches harder than before, even though she knows whats going to happen. Hound thought she could take it, like she does all other times but this time the hit knocks her back a couple inches.

She stands there cowering under his angered gaze as the left side of her face burns. Her cold hands grab at her stinging cheek, soothing the burn.

“You think you can leave me Y/n!, who’s going take care of you?”

“Hm, what man is going to deem you worthy of his time?”

She whimpers, as he shakes her like a rattle toy.

“Stop, I’m sorry Josh” she begs him, his eyes turn dark, his hand runs up her neck, gripping it tightly.

Hound feels stupid, Why did I think I could get away?

Her throat starts to hurt, as his grip gets tighter.

He’s getting angrier.

Tears drench Hound’s eyelashes, as they fall down her cheek—damping her face as they drop.

“Please” she trys begging again, normally if she submits to him in defeat, and in weakness he stops.

Sadistic piece of shit.

She can’t see anything, the tears blurring her vision. She can’t see if this is the end of life, if this is the end of her suffering.

Josh chuckles darkly and it sends fear down Hound’s chest, she listen to his heavy breathing.

She done for, there no way she’s getting out of this relationship alive.

“I give you my home, my car, my love and you think you can leave me!” he shouts loudly into her ear.

She chokes on a sob.

“I-I’m sorry, please no”

“I’ll do whatever you want”

He starts laughing in her face. literally, “I always knew you were whore”

I’m just whore, dirty piece of meat that belongs to you.

“Answer me slut” he re-grabs her throat pressing harder than earlier.

Hound was supposed to be stronger than this. Why can’t she break out his grasp. Why didn’t she leave when he first got violent the first time.

Her airway is starting to close and she feels the neee to cough, but can’t.

She starts to choke, body starts convulsing from the lack of air.

“Look at me Y/n and allow me to remind you of who puts up with your shit”

A broken whine leaves her mouth.

I guess this is goodbye.

I guess this is me getting peace. It feels nice.

She starts to feels the darkness succumbing her, the sounds of blood rushing in her ears.

“Let go of her—”, a familiar voice she knows by heart. A man Hound hates humanly possible yet is happy he’s here. His voice just as cold as his personality

Somehow Hound felt so humiliated. But shouldn’t she feel relieved?

She’d already knew who it was by his ice tipped hair, his stone cold face. She recognized his cologne from anywhere.

Iceman Kazansky

Funny enough Hound is known for her elephant memory, yet she can’t remember what happened and how she ended up in Kazansky’s house.

- -

Ice never thought he’d ever see his enemy look so fragile and nervous in his life.

Bruises covered her arms, her legs and back. A mean purple bruise was forming around her neck.

He choked her, like actually tried strangling her to death.

He and Hound weren’t exactly friends, they also weren’t enemies either.

She and him don’t see eye to eye majority of the times, Hound flys like her life isn’t worth shit, and Ice flys to confident.

He may dislike her, but Ice sure as hell wasn’t leaving her die like his dad did with his mother Anya.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as concern entered his mind about her. She had been gone a long time.

He gently knocked on the door,“Hound you okay there?”

She could feel herself letting go, the water started to fill her ears.

Life left her body.

“Hound, you all right?”

She could feel herself letting go, the water starting to fill her ears.

There wasn’t any movement going on in the bathroom, there wasn’t noise either.

“Hound Miller?”

Hound started to slip underwater, the water was slowly claiming her lungs, her life.

Hound wasn’t worth anything. She doesn’t deserve the help Iceman giving her.

She could hear muffled sounds coming from the otherside of the door.

Bang.

Bang.

The door was ripped open.

“Hound!”, Ice hurriedly grabbed her body out his tub.

“Come here”, he beckoned with arms, his eyes closed out of respect. Hound slowly wrapped herself in the towel.

She was shivering in pain, her entire body was numb.

“You can open them Tom” Hound whispered to him. She was ashamed of herself, first Kazansky open his house up to her after saving her from Josh. Now she’s returning the favor by being suicidal.

Maybe Josh was right, she truly is worthless.

No man will ever love her. She’s broken, unfixiable.

Iceman slowly ran his eyes over her, inspecting the bruises that were casted all over her body.

A jagged knife scar. dragged down her lower back.

A knuckle ring imprint bruised her thighs, burns mark from cigarettes.

Stitches on her shoulder.

God he hated himself with everything, he could’ve given her the help his mother was denied.

He felt horrible, it explains everything about her.

The dark emotionless eyes, the angry tones, how she flew in the air. This woman had been going through hell for god knows how long.

Hound had been suffering and he had only added to it.

She clinged to him,like her life depended on it.

“I-Im sorry” Hound sobbed loudly into Ice’s shoulder.

“Shh, your okay— if not I’ll help you get there”, Ice promised her and he’s never the man to break his word.

“You’ll be okay”

“Oh, your shirt is soaking wet” she lifted her face from his shoulder.

Of course she’s more worried about his shirt, worried about his reaction.

“It’s fine Hound I got loads of Navy shirts, price of being the Navy’s favorite”, he joked with her.

A small smile appeared on her face, she quietly laughed.

“Funny—very funny Kazansky, me and you both know I’m the better pilot” she chuckled softly.

She plucked him gently , in return Hound earned a soft kiss on the side of her forehead.

Ice gave her his hand, and she took it willingly.

Lieutenant Commander Y/n “Hound” Miller has never has never felt safe before, but the way Kazansky held her felt safe and protective.

He made her feel safe— a man who was once her enemy is now her safe place.

Tom“Iceman” Kazansky isn’t cold, he’s warm.

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter fifteen: Keep the Wolves Away —✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, mentions of suicide attempt, heavy stuff guys tread lightly

Authors note: I’m not gonna lie this chapters kinda heavy. Enjoy guys, we’re almost at the end!

—✧

It was a lot more peaceful in the mountains at nighttime. You’d hear the occasional howl from the wolves, or the sound of running water from the river just a few yards from the cabin. But Kenny realized that the peacefulness was very soothing, like a breath of fresh air from the normally loud nature of our friend group. Not that he didn’t love our friend group, he did. He just appreciated the silence a little bit more because of it.

Kenny had wondered off late at night, or morning you could say, to go and smoke out by the bridge above the river. He wanted to be surrounded by the quiet. Instead he was met with a sight that was anything but peaceful.

“Hey! Hey! What are you doing out there!” He yelled, noticing the silohoure of a figure standing by the edge of the bridge.

“Kenny?” The voice called. Kenny rubbed his eyes, trying to determine wether he actually saw who stood infront of him or if his weed may have been laced.

“Cartman? What the fuck dude?” Kenny called out, coming closer to Cartman who stepped back at the sight of Kenny.

“Kenny go back to the cabin.” He said softly, holding his hands out in a calm manner. Kenny shook his head, his expression getting angrier and less patient.

“No, what the hell are you doing at the edge of a bridge at, 3 fucking am?!” He yelled, and Cartman shook his head, sighing.

“It’s nothing Kenny, just go back to the cabin.”

“I’m not going back.” Kenny said, crossing his arms angrily.

“Really Kenny I just..” Cartman said, stepping back slowly.

“Get away from the edge Cartman!” Kenny shouted, as Cartman’s leg slipped back. “Fuck!” Kenny shouted, running over to where he was. Eric’s hand was stuck in the fence on the bridge's edge. Kenny grabbed his arm, grunting as he attempted to pull him back up.

“Jesus, why are you so goddamn heavy!” Kenny shouted, tears now streaming down Eric’s face as he hung off the edge.

“Just let me go Kenny!” Eric shouted, making Kenny feel his heart drop.

“Stop saying that Eric, it’s not funny!” Kenny shouted back, finally pulling Cartman far enough up to keep him safe. However, in the heat of the moment, the momentum from Cartman being brought up knocked Kenny over the edge.

“Kenny!” Cartman shouted, running to the edge to see Kenny at the bottom. He struggled to pull out his phone while climbing down the side, meeting where Kenny had fallen at the bottom. He grabbed him, pulling him out onto a patch of grass as he dialed a number in the phone. “Holy shit, oh my god. Oh fuck.”

—✧

“What do you want fatass?” Kyle asked, pulling out his phone to answer Cartman’s 8th call. He was extremely annoyed with the boys constant calls, in fear it would wake up Juno who had finally just gotten to sleep after a long night of vomiting and discomfort.

“Kyle please..” Eric sobbed, causing Kyle to sit up once noticing the urgency.

“Why are you crying?” He asked, Cartman trying to contain himself on the other end.

“Please, I’d never ask you for anything but this again.” Cartman cried. Kyle got out of bed carefully, sending me one last glance before walking out into the hall.

“Cartman what’s wrong?” He asked, his voice much more kind then when he had answered.

“It’s Kenny he, oh god, he’s still breathing just, I don’t know if he’s conscious.” He rambled, unable to catch his breath from how panicked he was.

“Cartman it’s 4 in the morning, what are you two doing?” Kyle asked, whispering to not wake anyone else up.

“Please just come here now, and call ambulance please!” Cartman yelled, hanging up the phone before sending Kyle his location.

Kyle wasn’t even entirely sure what was wrong, but the thought of Kenny being unconscious made his chest feel heavy. He threw in the first pair of slippers he found, hoping Tweek wouldn’t freak out once seeing his slippers where gone, and ran to the car. It was only a bit away from the cabin, but Kyle was to panicked to think.

“What the hell?” Kyle yelled, getting out of the car to see Cartman holding onto Kenny below the bridge. He struggled to get down over the side, running to Kenny’s side when he got there.

“Kyle, please!” Cartman shouted, making Kyle gesture urgently.

“I called the ambulance, they’re in their way. What happened?”

“I was out on the bridge and then, I slipped and he caught me but he fell..he’s been slipping in and out ever since.” Cartman explained, causing Kyle to sigh as he pulled Kenny into his lap.

“Fuck… Kenny can you hear me?” Kyle called, shaking him slightly.

“Kyle?”

Kyle flinched when he looked down, seeing the cuts and bruises scattered over Kenny’s body.

“Yeah Ken it’s me, can you breathe okay?” Kyle asked, but Kenny didn’t answer. He shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks.

“Please, please I don’t wanna die for real this time.” Kenny sobbed, making Kyle’s heart ache at his broken voice.

“It’s okay Kenny, you’re not gonna die..”

“I won’t wake up this time, it won’t go back to normal this time please, I’m afraid.” Kenny continued to plead, looking down at his body with fear.

“It’s okay Ken. You’re talking crazy just try to breathe.” Kyle reassured.

“I’m so scared, it hurts, I don’t want to die.” Tears were now streaming down Kenny’s face violently, as ambulance sirens could be heard in the distance.

“You hear that? That’s the sirens. You’re gonna be okay.” Kyle reassured, sending Cartman to go and wave the ambulance down.

“I’m scaredd…I..” Kenny’s eyes began to shut, open again, then shut once again. Kyle could feel tears in his eyes.

“Kenny? No, no no Kenny c’mon keep your eyes open. Come onn…no! Listen to my voice.” Kyle yelled, shaking Kenny aggressively to get him to wake up.

“They’re down here!” One of the officers called, bringing a group of men who came down and lifted Kenny up and into the stretcher.

“Please, my friends he..”

“Your friend is in good hands.” The officer annoucned.

“We need a extra hands pronto!”

“Are you alright sir are you injured?” They asked Kyle, who shakes his head in response, looking at his now bloodied pajamas.

“I’m fine, the blood isn’t mine.”

“We better take this one, his blood pressure scarily low and it seems he’s dislocated an arm.” They said, turning to Eric who shook his head.

“I’m fine.” He replied snappily, making Kyle sigh.

“Cartman don’t fight with the paramedics please, it’s not the time.” He lectured, which made Eric nod.

“Okay.”

“I’ll call your mom Cartman..”

“No! No, it’s fine, I’m fine, she doesn’t need to be worried. God knows how much trouble I be in, chicks and I right?” Eric yelled, making Kyle furrow his eyebrows confused as they all made their way to the ambulance.

“Okay..hey, wait! I want to come too.” Kyle said, moving in to where they had brought Kenny.

“Are you family?”

Kyle nodded, rubbing his forehead with frustration.

“Yeah..yeah we’re family.”

—✧

I had quickly made my way to the hospital once Kyle had called, we had to wait until the next morning but we went nonetheless. We both stopped in Cartman’s room forst to check up on him, and now it was my turn to split and check up on Kenny.

“I’m gonna go see Kenny.” I said, kissing Kyle’s cheek as I pulled away from his grasp.

“Okay love, be careful. You know the doctor said no more stress because you could…” He said sternly, making me roll my eyes as I called back, walking to the door.

“I know, I know.” I mumbled, making myself chuckle playfully.

“I love you!” He called out, making me blow him a kiss.

“I love you too!” I yelled back, before leaving and closing the door. Kyle sighed, turning to smile slightly at Eric.

“Hey.” Kyle said quietly, making Eric smile at him.

“So with Juno, everything okay with..” Eric tried to stall, hoping he could ignore the dreaded lecture from Kyle, but the angry look on his face said otherwise.

“Cut the crap Cartman.” Kyle hissed, making Eric look down was he pressed his lips together.

“Yeah. Yeah okay.” Eric mumbled, trying his hardest to avoid Kyle’s eye contact.

“You know that was a really, awful thing you did.” Kyle said angrily, gritting his teeth as he glared at Eric.

“I know.”

“Kenny could’ve died!” He shouted, not letting Eric keep talking. The room was dead silent, the only noise being the ticking of the fan from above the bed.

“He wasn’t supposed to be there.” Eric said quietly, still not looking up at Kyle, who had let his hands fall to his sides, showing just how angry he was.

“Well thank fucking God he was huh? You could’ve died!” Kyle shouted again, and Eric sighed.

“I know.”

“What the hell would have possessed you to get that close to the edge of the bridge?” Kyle snapped, making Eric sigh, finally looking up at the flaming angry expression left on his face.

“Look, it’s really not something I need to get into okay? Kenny’s fine, I’m fine, we’re all fine.”

“I don’t know what kind of sick joke you were trying to play there Cartman! Kenny’s in the hospital, he’s in a lot of pain. He almost died, and you seem like you couldn’t care at all that it’s your fault!” Kyle continued to yell, making Eric get angry now.

“I know it’s my fault goddamn it!” Eric yelled, causing Kyle to recoil slightly, shocked Eric would get so angry. “Kenny shouldn’t even have been there! I should’ve just gone over the edge like I was supposed to but the bastard had to save me!” Eric yelled, now making Kyle go quiet.

“What?”

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. What do you say when your friend tells you something like that?

“I don’t think I have to explain further exactly what I was doing at that bridge.” Eric said, quieter this time.

It was quiet again. Kyle stared holes into the side of Eric’s face as he looked up at the ceiling. A few tears left Eric’s cheeks. It was true that Kyle and Eric had the worst rivalry in all of South Park. They hated each other. So much so that they had to be split up in classes to prevent further outbursts. But Kyle didn’t actually hate Eric, and Eric didn’t actually hate Kyle. He didn’t know why he was admitting this to Kyle, maybe it was because he was so mad it just came out. Or maybe, after all the fighting they had, Eric realized that Kyle and him had been through the most bullshit since he was alive. Maybe he knew Kyle would understand. Or maybe he just needed to tell someone, and hoped Kyle hated him enough to let it be. Kyle wasn’t sure why either, but he did know one thing. Eric Cartman would not kill himself, Kyle wasn’t gonna let that happen.

“This is serious dude, you have to tell somebody.” Kyle said softly, his enter demeanor changing.

“I just told you, didn't I?” Eric said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Kyle sighed instead, choosing to ignore the sarcasm dripping off Eric’s tongue.

“Yeah but, I mean someone who can help. Does your mom know?”

“No. And she doesn’t need to know. She’s going through enough right now.” Eric said, shaking his head as he clutched his forehead with frustration.

“Dude, I know we get at each other's throats a lot but you know I’m always here for you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

“Hey, I’m right here talking to you now, right? No yelling. Just talking.” Kyle said, smiling kindly at Eric, who smiled back.

“Yeah, talking. It’s nice.” Eric said as he nodded. Kyle sighed, shaking his head as he frowned.

“I don’t want you to die Cartman, you’re my friend.” Kyle couldn’t help but get choked up at the thought.

“I thought you hated me.” Eric said with a chuckle, making Kyle scoff.

“I never hated you, I hated the things you said. That doesn’t mean I want you to die. And I sure as hell know Juno doesn’t.” Kyle said. The mention of her name made Eric smile.

“Kyle?”

“Yeah Cartman?”

“My mom has cancer.” Eric said, so quiet he had hoped no one could hear him. But Kyle did, Eric could tell he did by the way his eyes softened. “And, well, they don’t think she’s gonna survive. And if she doesn’t, I don’t know if I will either.”

—✧

I’m not sure when it was that Kenny and I became, Kenny and Juno. It was some time around kindergarten, when I offered him some of my lunch on our second day. Ever since he had cling to me, and I to him. We partnered together for everything, so much so even Stan started to get jealous. Something to do with our friendship, something which had sealed us in time forever, must have been when we were in 4th grade. Kenny and his family had been put into foster care after their parents had been taken. It was around the time that Kenny and I first started discovering his unkillable quality. See, growing up, I was the only person who remembered Kenny dying. Every single death. For some reason, knowing that much about a person seals your friendship forever.

“Jesus…what are you still doing here June?” Kenny asked, sitting up slightly in his spot, waking me up from where I had been napping leant against his hospital bed.

“Huh?” I mummbled, rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes as I sat up.

“Its fucking, 3 in the morning how have they not kicked you out yet?” He asked, making me smirk proudly.

“What, you’re not happy to see me?” I teased, wiggling my eyebrows as he furrowed his eyebrows at me.

“Do I even wanna know how you managed to stay?”

“Probably not.” He chuckled x before sighing as he gestured to me disappointedly.

“You should be at home Juno, you’re pregnant and on bed rest. This stress isn’t good for you.” Kenny said, resting a weak hand on my stomach. He smiled slightly when feeling the baby place a kick against his hand.

“Well I would be even more stressed at home and not next to you.” I said, smiling as I grabbed his hand. He smiled back, it was a weak smile but a smile nonetheless. “Besides, you’re not allowed to die before you're the godfather to my child. They’re gonna need an uncle Kenny if they’re gonna survive. I’m gonna need an uncle Kenny.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“Come on, you know I’d probably be back. I mean how much do we really trust that Katullo actually rid me of my power.” He teased, making me shake my head, my facial expression quickly dropping at the memory of the god.

“That doesn’t settle knowing you’ll be in pain. Just you wait til I give birth to this thing, you’ll be the one remembering my pain, see how I feel.” I remarked, making him chuckle.

“I don’t think that’s a very legitimate threat.”

“Totally is…they said you can come home tomorrow.”

“Sweet.” He cheered, fist bumping me.

“You managed to break your arm, fracture your shoulder and sprain an ankle. The rest of your injuries are a few bruises and some rough cuts that will heal soon enough. Got that sick new scar across the bridge of your nose though.” I explained, tracing his new scar carefully with my fingers. He nodded his head, looking at his reflection proudly.

“Cool.”

“Don’t worry though, you get to be my practice dummy for feeding this thing.” I teased, pointing to my bump, referring to the fact that I would be spoon feeding him until his arms healed.

“Ew, Juno I love you and all but I don’t know how Kyle would feel about me sucking your boobs.” He teased, earning a light shove from me as he laughed loudly.

“Not that you pervert! I mean I can help hand feed you til your arm heals.”

“How lovely.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“I talked to your parents about it, they’re gonna let me stay with you for a week or two to help you get back on your feet.” I explained, making Kenny shake his head defiantly.

“Juno you can’t do that.” He said, making me shake my head, letting Kenny know it’s no trouble for me to help him.

“No, it’s okay really. Kyle’s okay with it, and the doctor said I need to move around a bit more anyway. Besides, I’m bringing food from home so I can cook for you and your family.”

I could hear him sigh at the thought. I had known food and money was always rough for Kenny and his family. Anytime I would stay over I would always bring something along with me to help support them. Kenny always detested, but appreciated my care for his family nonetheless.

“What if you go into early labor at my house?” He joked, making me scoff.

“Would you chill? You’re my best friend Kenny, I’m not about to not take care of you. Besides, Karen said she’ll let me sleep in her room, so I can have sleepovers with my best girlfriend.” I said happily, smiling back at Kenny at the mention of his sister. He smiled, grabbing my hand and squeezing it as much as he could with his weak arms.

“You know, you’re gonna be a great mom Juno.” He said kindly, making me rub my thumb gently against the back of his hand.

“Thanks Ken, that means a lot.”

“Where would I be without you?” He asked, making me shrug.

“Dead probably.”

“Yup, again and again and again..” he teased, making me push him as he chuckled loudly at my aggrivation. It was true, there was something to be said between a pregnant teen and her Kenny. It’s a funny thing really, the concept of soulmates. You always think of them as someone you’re meant to love romantically for the rest of your life in every universe. But I know for a fact that Kenny McCormick is my soulmate. And it may not be romantically, but I would love him forever.

[not-poignant]

Why doesn't Sebastian remember the stuff he said to Alex when they were younger? Does he really not remember, or is Alex reading it wrong? Also thank you for the chapter!! I'm not going to tell you how many times I reread them all before the next one

Oooo yes I can answer this!

So, let's be real, a lot of teenagers say a lot of insulting shit to other people and frankly just say it and don't remember a lot of it. The brain-to-mouth filter of adolescents in general is not great (which is awesome for having all of that play out in online spaces). I don't know many adults who, when they think about the things they said as a teenager, don't experience some moments of 'oh I maybe shouldn't have said that' and that's just the crap they remember.

(Y'all know it gets long, right?)

This is also especially true if you're insulting someone that you feel justified insulting (like a school bully, someone you've mentally cancelled, someone you hate, someone who rubs you the wrong way, someone who has just said terrible stuff to you so you feel permitted to say terrible stuff to them). Like, in primary school and high school, it's not like your internal set of ethics is necessarily hugely well-defined, and even very well-behaved children can step into accidental or intentional bullying and verbal insults when they feel angry. It's not like we're known for mature emotional regulation of our own anger, especially if you go into places where emotional literacy isn't super high.

Also, with memory formation, it's just incredibly normal to forget a lot of this stuff. Normal and necessary to just growing as a person.

But there's an extra component with Sebastian and Alex, which is that Sebastian was saying a lot of stuff that everyone thought, to the point where I don't even think he considered that he was a lot worse than everyone else about it (which he was, he was horribly verbally abusive towards Alex, and imho, was the worse bully out of the two of them by a long-shot). It wouldn't occur to Sebastian as a kid to think that he was wrong, for example, in calling Alex stupid. Everyone thought it, including Alex.

And finally, a big part of this puzzle is - as we've seen in the story overall - Alex is quite stoic. He prefers not to let people notice he's felt hurt by their words, and in fact, is quite good at pretending that nothing is affecting him at all. He of course learned this from growing up in a domestically violent household where it was dangerous for him to show nearly any emotions at all, but as someone who could be mean to Sebastian, it also made Alex seem like he was never being affected by Sebastian's words. And in that scenario, Sebastian would have gotten angrier and angrier, and more and more determined to say something that finally hurt him, not realising that the very first thing he said hurt, and that he's just said another 15 things that also really hurt him.

So some of Sebastian's memories formed around 'Alex isn't affected by almost everything I say' - and you know, why would you remember that? Alex's memories are radically different, because everything Sebastian said cut him to pieces, but the way he behaved made it seem like they didn't. That's Alex's survival skill, and frankly, Sebastian still really struggles with it, and he's not in the habit of seeing past it. Even now, it sort of takes him a moment to realise - more and more - that this side of Alex who appears unaffected and starts giving these single-word answers is covering for someone who is extremely vulnerable and wounded beneath that.

When Alex says 'it's just words' to dismiss what Sebastian says, after Sebastian has seen him come over depressed, clean silently, and then go to leave, and realises that Alex is like profoundly affected by what Mayor Lewis said to him, he takes a moment to be like 'wait, if he's that affected by what Mayor Lewis said, and now he's telling me it's 'just words' then...it can't be 'just words' at all.'

A lot of this stuff is really hard for Sebastian to process because it goes against every kind of fundamental thing that he's thought about Alex all his life.

So yeah, Sebastian really doesn't remember, he doesn't think of himself as that much of a bully, and certainly not a bad one, and he's still sort of piecing all of this together. One of the reasons he's so reluctant to come to a 'realisation' about Alex is first and foremost - it means Sebastian has to see how ugly his own behaviours were, and that's something a lot of people don't want to see in themselves. So we have this contrasting narrative, as Alex the person who consistently is like 'I bullied you terribly and I deserve bad things' and Sebastian who consistently is like 'I was bullied terribly but I've grown as a person but I'm not going to forget how you treated me either.'

The reality is different. They both bullied each other. Sebastian was a lot more aggressive and insidious about it and also had friends who backed him up (leading to 3-against-1 scenarios all the time), because Alex seemed unaffected by anything Sebastian said. Alex doesn't deserve terrible things, Sebastian doesn't deserve terrible things, and they both have grown as people.

But Sebastian owes Alex some genuine apologies, and some real thought about the whole scenario, and Alex also needs to get better at talking about this stuff.

And y'know, that's why we're here, reading this fic. :D

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

A Surprising Outcome

Relationship: BuckyxReader

The anger had calmed down to frustration, a contrast to the shouting match moments prior. Maybe we were finally running out of things to scream at each other. "I thought you'd be happy with the new job. I get paid more and get to work closer to home so I don't have to take the subway as far, which you," you jabbed Bucky's chest with your finger, not caring if he got angry again, "always told me was unsafe." Your shorter height didn't make you seem as intimidating as him but you still glared at Bucky with everything you had. "And with my boyfriend at the same place, I won't have to walk home alone anymore, which again, you kept drilling was unsafe." He looked away with a mixture of guilt and anger, which only made your anger flare again. "God damn it Bucky! I did this as a compromise for both of you! I know you don't like my boyfriend but this is ridiculous!" Oh how you hated when you were mad enough, you start crying in frustration. It ends up feeling like no one takes you seriously afterwards. "I did this because I know you care damn it and I was trying to keep you from worrying so much about me." As quickly as it came, your anger shifted to defeat with a small sniffle.

"Hey." Bucky softened his expression as he pulled you into a hug. He didn't mean to make you this upset.

"Why aren't you happy?" It came out more like a whine but at this point, you didn't care. You just wanted to know why.

Bucky didn't answer for a long moment. He really didn't mean to make you cry. It was just expressing himself was difficult. Adding jealousy and anger in the mix only makes it more complicated, which is how it ended up with the two of you yelling at each other. "I..." Bucky sighed when you thought he wasn't going to answer. "It's because I don't like him."

You scoffed but didn't try to move away from him. "Fucking understatement of the year Buck."

A flash of annoyance crossed his face. "Look, I don't trust him."

"You don't trust anyone."

"This is a different kind."

You rolled your eyes as your voice dripped with sarcasm. "Sure."

Bucky gripped your shoulders to pull you back enough to glare at you. "He's not who he says he is." You returned the glare as Bucky's expression grew angrier. "I just want you to be ok damn it."

You pulled out of his grip with an exasperated sigh. "I am ok. At this point, I just think you're jealous."

Bucky's jaw clenched at your words before growling. "I am but this has nothing to do with it."

That made your eyes widen in surprise. Bucky realized what he said as an embarrassed flush dusted his cheeks. The two of you stood in silence before you broke the quiet with a soft voice. "How long?"

"I don't know. Months?" Bucky licked his bottom lip as his nerves took over. He didn't know when he had started liking you but it didn't go away over time like he had hoped. Then you got a boyfriend which made him hide his crush even more but he couldn't just cut you out of his life. Sam and you had shown you guys deeply cared about him and are willing to pull him out of the deep holes he let himself fall into occasionally. He'd be stupid to let that disappear so he sucked up his pride and settled on being your best friend. You watched him bite the inside of his cheek as the silence dragged on. You had no idea what to say but Bucky continued so you didn't have to respond. "I don't trust him. Not because I like you." He forced himself to look at you with a serious expression, even though you could see the underlying trepidation. "He's been an asshole to Sam every time we hang out. I've almost punched him for it."

"He's never..."

"He only does it when you aren't around."

The accusations coming from anyone else would have sounded stupid and like a ploy to cause drama but you knew Bucky. He'd talk shit to Sam's face to rile him up but never talk shit about Sam behind his back. Bucky wasn't that type of person. "I had no idea…"

Bucky frowned as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sure he didn't want you to know."

You watched Bucky shift his weight uncomfortably and knew he was hiding something else. "There's more to it..." Bucky tense at your words. He looked away and that only confirmed your observation. "What else did he do?"

He kept his gaze on a random spot on the wall for a long time before finally answering. "He insulted you."

"That's not a big deal to-"

"It is to me." Bucky gently cut you off as he looked back at you. "He said something bad enough that Sam looked like he wanted to punch him too."

You blinked in surprise as Bucky awkwardly chuckled. "That's why you guys don't ever hang out with him now." The short nod was all you needed. "I'm sor-"

"It's not your fault." He placed his hands gently on your shoulders again. "You don't need to apologize."

"But-"

"No buts." He gave you a stern stare until you conceded. "I don't blame you."

You chewed the inside of your cheek but nodded in understanding while you studied his face as he seemed to relax with a half smile. You returned it but you weren't expecting a stomach flip when his smile grew. "Did you still want to go to the movies?" You tried to hide the emotion by changing the subject.

"Do you?"

You nodded with a bigger smile. "I'm going to clean myself up and we can head out." You gave him a quick wave before going into the bathroom. You turned on the sink and watched the water run. Your not so small crush from when you first met resurfaced again. Bucky was attractive and that's what got your attention in the first place but the more you got to know him, the harder it was to let that crush die. You told yourself you were going to wait until he made the first move because you don't want to cross any boundaries. You ended up meeting your current boyfriend and for a moment, you could mostly forget about the attraction to Bucky, but today brought it back full force.

The fact that your boyfriend was only nice to Sam when you were around made you reconsider your relationship. If he was doing that behind your back, what else was he doing without your knowledge? You washed my face as you thought everything over. You didn't want someone in my life if they were going to treat your closest friends terribly behind your back. You'd rather be single than lose Sam and Bucky. You pause as you thought back to a few moments ago when Bucky admitted he liked you. You knew what you wanted to do.

You quickly finished cleaning up and made your way back to the living room. Bucky stood from the couch but before he could say anything, you hugged him tightly.

"You ok?" Concern laced his words as he hugged back just as tightly.

"Yeah. I just figured out something important." Bucky frowned his brow in confusion as you buried your face deeper into his chest.

"Is that why you took so long?"

"Yep and for the record," you hummed as you pulled away to start walking towards the front door with a shiteating grin, "I like you back Bucky." Before you could see his expression, you opened the door and turned away. "Once I break up with him, you better say yes to being my new boyfriend." You giggled as you stepped outside, not waiting for his reaction, but knowing he'd still follow you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Leave a like if you enjoyed it!

This particular short is inspired by this reel:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoaH0AKgqI3/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Go give the creator some love. They make some really fun POVs that inspire a bunch of the short stories I'm gonna end up sharing here.

[toiletwipes]

PRED-PREY/FAE • DAY THREE OF KINKTOBER

Summary: Knowing something otherworldly can hurt you but they don't is kind of hot and the exact reason why you're not in a relationship with someone normal.

Word Count: ~1k words

Character: i- i dont think i used a name anywhere here so you can picture whoever you prefer but i was writing this with faebur in mind (unless i am wrong djfjfj)

Warnings: its short :( but there shouldnt be anything to worry about and if there is, let me know

tag list: @oyakuya @ruminationnn @despicablenotions @grrrlsagainsthumanity @wolfie-doggo @boiled-onionrings @struggling-with-time @midnighthasstruck @modx-reborn @cleverjokehaha

Kinktober Masterlist

~

You met him when you were younger and he was angrier, keeping you lost and alone and avoiding you for hours when your grandfather's cabin was at the edge of his grounds. He refuses to tell you what you originally did, claiming the memory is lost on him. Not that that matters, you like teasing him like he does you.

Though, he has a problem with teasing you. It's not like you had anyone waiting for you at the cabin, your grandfather left it to you to chase his dreams and dates that lasted a whole night were infinitely more boring than a single moment with him. But the teasing made you feel like you had something with him.

You tried to ask him about it once, why he teased you and then flirted with a shared future, dancing around you and daring you to say something, and he smiled. Smiled!

To take your mind off things like that, you'd just go home. Shower, maybe. Take all of your sexual frustration and shove it somewhere useful.

Here lies your current problem, though. Your current problem is actually not your fault.

Nothing was done wrong, you hadn’t stepped on anything important, said all the right things and yet. And yet, he still wanted to play with you like you were a new toy that he wanted to sink his teeth in.

(Maybe because he found you too cute to let go.)

Doesn't matter why he did. All that matters now is—

"Shit!" Gasping as you fall first into the ground, nails digging into the dirt as you push yourself off the ground, kicking up leaves as you keep running. He wasn't going to let you leave.ing to let you steal a break, no, you didn’t even want to know what he’d do to you.

What he wanted with you made your heart pound even faster, alongside the adrenaline of running from something so beautiful, so dangerous.

“How long do you intend to run for?” His voice taunts you, tickling behind your ear as if he was right there-! Turning your head in a panic, you find nobody, not even an animal. They, the animals of his grounds, all must know now. Whenever he gets like this, they must be far away.

When he wanted to be, he could be deadly.

Trying to look ahead of yourself, there's a little hill and to the left, a cluster of roots with a hole beneath it. Pushing your burning legs and feet, you're near tears as you slide down the hill, biting down on your bottom lip till you can taste the iron as you gain several scratches on your left leg.

Close to missing the hole, you sprawl underneath the roots, shoving yourself as far back as possible. The smell of the earth grounds you and you force yourself to stop breathing for a second, hearing him through the static air with song.

You see his long legs stride down the hill, as if it wasn't any struggle at all. Truly, he wants you to know how easy this is for him. Or how fun he finds it. How amusing, that a human thinks that they could possibly run away from him.

Covering your mouth, your lungs scream for air watching as he taunts you with slow steps. And as he's almost past your line of vision, you breathe out, forehead tapping against the ground.

"Oh, pet." And your face snaps up, eyes catching his face, noses nearly touching. You choked on your air as he pulled on your hands, dragging you out like you were a feather in the air. One of his arms slink around your waist, pulling you close to him as your knees give out. "What was that thing you said, winner's pick?" His smile sends shivers down your skin and your stomach is weak with butterflies. His free hand slides from under your arm and down your elbow, catching your hand and lacing the fingers.

It would've been romantic if he hadn't moaned at the taste of your blood, grinning against your mouth as he lifts you in the air, twirling the two of you. You could barely see straight but you know the hard bark of a tree too well, air escaping you once more when his hands skim over your entire body.

"Aren't you just so cute?" He's mean in the way he inhales the skin at your shoulder, probably smelling the sweat and the dirt accumulated over the hours. "It's like I told you, pet, you can't hide from me here," and his hot breath fans across your face, kissing you briefly before he bends to his knees, yanking on your bottoms and flinging them elsewhere.

"And for my grand prize," the grin on his face did nothing to hide the red flourish dusted across his cheeks, kissing up your thighs and squeezing your calves. "You can't hide anything from me." That's when he spreads your legs apart and in an instant, your insides are warm and you're full of his cock. Jaw drops open and you're gasping for air as he keeps squeezing skin, lips attaching somewhere and you're lost.

Lewd sounds fill the air and you have to hold onto his shoulders, feeling as though you'll slip through his fingers and sink into the ground. All of you feels like gelatin, pleasure rippling through you in waves and it doesn't help his piercing stare peek up at you every now and then. Watching you. Staring to make sure you gave him everything.

"Do you feel that, d'you feel how good you make me feel?" He whispers to you, mouthing kisses and harsh bruises into the column of your throat, "be a good pet, tell me how you're feeling, tell me I'm the only one who can do this to you, tell me everything."

If only you could, with the way he's fucking you stupid, your brain felt like mush, strangled moans echoing against the trees and feeling so much louder with your head empty.

"That's it, let go, pet, go ahead and cum for me," his words wash over you and you can't hold it together anymore, as if there was anything left before that moment. You're limp, twitching in his arms as he emptied himself inside of you. The last thing in your conscious mind was the overwhelming warmth spreading in your body, and then of course a promise he made.

Though, what he promised, you're not too sure.