#and it's hard to talk in generalities

[waitmyturtles]

Your post about your upcoming Bad Buddy meta got me thinking about Bad Buddy (again), and I remembered one particular thing that had an impact. Apologies if this is long and rather incoherent, I wrote this past midnight.

In the final episode, the part where we see Ming and Dissaya turn a blind eye to Pat Pran's shenanigans really struck a chord with me.

[I'm an Indian, born and raised, and queer, but it's well worth mentioning that my experiences are not universal- in fact, they may be the exception rather than the rule; I'm not quite sure.]

What it reminded me of was, that asian parents tend to come around eventually- in particular mothers. We've seen time and time again in series' that deal with difficult/not accepting family members; Bad Buddy, GAP, Wedding Plan, maybe even Double Savage (haven't watched this one but I believe the dad feels bad in the end?), that even if the parental figure(s) doesn't agree with their children's choices, they learn to compromise. Because the difference in opinions isn't worth losing their children over. Obviously, for every parental figure that comes around there's one that the children cut ties with (Wedding Plan remains a good example), but I think it's something worth seeing.

It made me think of how I was never scared of coming out to my mother, because I knew that, despite the difference in views, and her prejudice, she'd accept me, no matter whether she thought it was a phase or not.

Do I know what the point of this ask is? Not really, I was rather nervous sending this ask, especially not on anon, but I'd love to know what you think of this, since I've come to really enjoy reading the thoughts you have on these shows.

Ohhhh, wow. @starryalpacasstuff, come 'ere for a big mom hug! HUGE HUGS!

I'm gonna unwind a little randomly; I hope this is coherent. A ton of what I write about on my blog vis à vis Asian dramas are the unique characteristics of Asian families and an Asian upbringing. Parental conditional love, competitiveness, our unique experiences with intergenerational trauma. I write a lot about how Asians, in our cultural expectations of life, accept pain and suffering as an assumed part of our existences. The reason why I watch Asian dramas exclusively is that, as I'm Asian-American, I just connect far more easily to the Asian cultural experience of growing from a child into an Asian adult, than I do the experience of white Western folks growing into their adulthood. I grew up intimately with Asian cultural practices and expectations; but I also grew up with racism in my external American world, and came to my adulthood in a society that still values white Americans above all other demographics.

But one thing I'm cognizant of, that I don't think I write about enough, is that many of these characteristics of the Asian cultural scopes of life are indeed similar to those that a fully American person (for example) might experience. It's not like intergenerational trauma doesn't exist in the West. It's not like homophobia in families against a child doesn't exist in the West.

However. As an Asian-American, one thing I note about many (not all, of course) Western families and family systems is that very often: Western adults will give up their agency to be loyal to what I might call a "higher power" -- a philosophy, a political preference, a religion. If a queer person wants to come out in a conservative American family, that queer person may very well be risking cutting permanent ties with their family.

That, of course, also happens in our Asian family systems. But I think you're onto something, @starryalpacasstuff. While divorce rates are sky-high in the West -- there is also a paradigm of family systems being and looking different in the West than they do in Asia. Asian family systems still don't accommodate for divorce and blended or chosen families as they do in the West.

The Asian family systems and paradigms that you and I grew up with as Indians absolutely still value a heterosexual two-parent household -- and I'd posit that our past generations, our grandparents and great-grandparents, put HUGE, HUGE pressure on our parents to keep the two-parent family systems together and whole. And to keep the children close. It's a huge value in our Asian cultures to have whole and complete families. The West has become far more accommodating, culturally, on this issue.

And, so. I totally agree with you, @starryalpacasstuff. I think we do see the beginning of a coming-around on the parts of Ming and Dissaya. And that coming-around is certainly something we can relate to. Our parents will likely accept us for our differences. I fucked a lot of shit up with my folks when I decided to live independently of their desires -- and I don't think things really healed (and I still carry tremendous traumatic baggage) until after I had my own kids, and expanded all of our families. Because in the end, the value in our Asian cultures is that keeping the family complete and close still matters more than any one's individual biases or desires.

Ming and Dissaya are remarkably traumatized people. Ming was traumatized by the expectations of his father. He screwed Dissaya over, and literally handed his trauma to Pat on a silver platter, for Pat to embody for most of his life. And Pat flipped that platter over in his father's face and ran away. Ming, at the end of the series, is passive-aggressive with Pat, despite Pat's efforts to try to work with him. And yet -- Ming still sips Pran's scotch.

To your point -- does time heal everything? I'm not so sure in the West, with the Western predilection for Christian/Puritanical/conservative values to supersede reasonable family resolutions. But I think, because of the value that Asian systems put on having complete families, that you are right -- that there may be more room in Asian family systems for eventual acceptance of a child's "differences," despite us living in collectivist societies. This is definitely not an absolute. There are environments in which it's still dangerous to come out. But the value that Asians put on family does indeed give us a tiny bit of comfort that our cultures can move the needle on acceptance in different ways over time.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.

[hinamie]

summer is coming so i'm giving them the beach day they deserve

[aroaceleovaldez]

reminder that the only reason the "ADHD is actually demigod BATTLE STRATEGIES" and "dyslexia is DEMIGOD BRAINS HARDWIRED FOR ANCIENT GREEK" things exist in the PJO universe is because it's a very direct reference to early 2000s teaching/parenting techniques for neurodiverse and disabled children, which aimed to frame childrens' disabilities and hardships as a "superpower" or strength so that the children would feel more positively about their disabilities or situations. This technique has fallen out of favor since then for the most part since more often than not it just results in kids feeling as though their struggles are not being seen or taken seriously.

Yes, demigods are adhd/dyslexic (and sometimes autistic-coded) in the series. This is extremely important and trying to remove it or not acknowledge it makes the entire series fall apart because it is such a core concept. Yes, canon claims that their adhd/dyslexia is tied to some innate abilities, which is based on an outdated methodology. It's important to acknowledge that and understand where it comes from! But please stop trying to apply it to other pantheons in the series like "oh, the romans have dyscalculia because of roman numerals!" or "the norse demigods have dysgraphia for reasons!" - it's distasteful at best.

A better option is to acknowledge the meta inspiration for why that exists in the series, such as explaining potentially that Chiron was utilizing that same teaching methodology to try and help demigods feel more comfortable with their disabilities and they aren't literal powers. In fact, especially given Frank, there's implication that being adhd/dyslexic isn't a guaranteed demigod trait, which means it's more likely to be normally inherited from their godly parent/divine ancestor as a general trait, not a power, and further supports the whole "ADHD is battle strategy" thing being non-literal. It also implies the entire greco-roman pantheon in their universe is canonically adhd/dyslexic - and that actually fits very well with the themes of the first series. The entire central conflict of the first series fits perfectly as an allegory about neurodiverse/disabled children and their relationships with their undiagnosed neurodiverse/disabled parents and trying to find solutions together with their shared disability/disabilities that the kid inherited instead of becoming distant from each other (and this makes claiming equivalent to getting a diagnosis which is a fascinating allegory! not to mention the symbolism of demigods inheriting legacies and legends and powers from their parents and everything that comes with that being equivalent to inheriting traits, neurodiversity, and disabilities from your parents).

anyways neurodiversity and disability and the contexts in which the series utilizes representation of those experiences particularly during the 2000s symbolically within the narrative is incredibly important to the first series and the understanding of what themes it means to represent. also if i see one more "the romans have dyscalculia instead of dyslexia" post in 2023 i'm gonna walk into the ocean.

[zu-is-here]

welp

[bruciemilf]

Comic book writers who still make Bruce hit his kids even after years of mass criticism from fans who TELL you it's a bad creative choice that pushes them away from the fan base and comics in general,,, you did this for what?

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

[burrowingdweller]

Quick redraw of an old art from tg

2020 -> 2024

Also I don't answer undertale asks lately, sorry, don't feel like discussing/talking about the fandom like at all even though I still love it, hope you understand 🥀

[divorcedfiddleford]

happy fiddleford friday it's still friday here it counts shut up. (images described in alt text)

[moghedien]

honestly I encourage everyone to get comfortable opening up their electronics. game consoles. computers. phones. keyboards. headphones. whatever. like obviously don't start with the most difficult thing to open up and don't just mindlessly pop open something and lose all the screws and don't do it while its on. but get comfortable looking inside your stuff yourself

its not hard to open up most electronics that don't have an apple logo on them (and even a lot of those are easier than you'd think) and it DOES NOT VOID YOUR WARRANTY.

Companies will try to scare you from learning how to care for your own stuff because they get money that way. Warranty stickers are technically illegal in the US but just isn't enforced, and a company can't actually void your warranty if you repair something yourself, so long as you don't break something else in the process.

like I look at threads all the time where people express fear about just opening up a console and looking at the internals to see which version they have but don't be! its easy, its safe, its free! get comfortable with your electronics and learn how to clean and repair stuff yourself, it isn't scary, companies just want you to think it is!

[gertritude-art]

just found a song on the free music archive that is like. somehow the perfect "secret world-bending bossfight" music. and in classic fma fashion the person behind it has written zero other songs and had no other digital footprint

[skzcre]

Skz stroke game…. Thoughts 👁️👄👁️

oh i’ve got some thoughts alright 😳

on team “slow, sensual and deep” we haaaave changbin, lino, hyunjin, lix n chan !! <333

it varies for each of them tbh, like. changbin and hyunjin are real romantics, they want to take their time to enjoy every single centimeter of your body. they want to watch your face twist in pleasure, they want you to grip tightly onto them.

binnie always has this self satisfied smirk on his face but pure love in his eyes, loves when you grab his biceps and arch into him when he goes particularly deep 🤧 still on board “changbin best stroke game in skz” hands down, we’ve seen the way he moves those pretty hips. you better believe he knows exactly what he’s doing.

hyune is just fully obsessed with you i’ve talked abt it like a million times and i can’t get over the thought of his jaw hanging in awe watching how you write underneath him. he kills me truly

now w lino, lix n chan; they’re just as romantic tbh. we all know lino has heaps and heaps of love to give and he also kind of loves having you at his “mercy”, he’s just a little bit more of a tease abt it compared to bin n hyun. he fucks you at a regular pace then stops to shove himself so deep in you you swear you’re seeing stars. then he coos at you, “mm, i know baby. it feels really good, yeah? you can take more for me, can’t you?”

lix n chan are still on the slow sensual spectrum but both of them … whew. catch them in a Certain mood and they’re just. i cant explain it in any other way than they’re just absolutely insane. they both have this duality, wanting to worship your body but also just loving the way you scream their name when they start pounding you >.< god chan in particular it’s like he’s curved perfectly to fit you, always hits that sweet spot that makes your toes curl.

on team “it varies but either way they have you basically crying by the end of the night” we have seungmo n imie <333 similar to lix n chan it just depends on the day, what kind of mood you catch them in.

both of them are absolutely meticulous in the way they practically pick you apart, pure teases through and through. both of them are highkey bullies, will get you completely riled up with their words alone then constantly bring you right to the edge of heaven before dropping you just to hear that desperate whine.

i cant decide who would be meaner honestly 😖 seungmo speaks in such a way that makes you feel tiny and helpless underneath him, his stroke game isn’t the best in comparison to the others (not saying he’s bad) but he more than makes up for it with his words, fingers and tongue <33

and imie .. an all rounder really. bullies tf out of you, can be ruthless as hell about it, trades between slow deep thrusts and pounding your lights out to keep you on your toes. that being said he can get rlly overwhelmed by just how good you feel so he has to pace himself or you’re getting fucked through the floor.

n then on team, “absolutely amazing but still a wildcard” we have bby han <33 he’s got the duality, he can be anything you need him to be. he can fuck you nice and slow, kiss you real sweet and tell you how much he loves you. he can be absolutely filthy, pull your hair and leave bites and bruises everywhere; call you his pretty little cumdump. as expected of the ace, we love a multifaceted boy.

so to summarize with a ranking, best to “not as good” (i don’t wanna say worst that sounds bad :p)

changbin

lino n hyun tied for second imo

chan

han

jeongin

felix

seungmin

[anneapocalypse]

"I get annoyed having to explain obvious mechanics"

"you're either playing your job or sabotaging"

Some of you really need to learn to accept the fact that there will always be new players who don't know things and that this is not only okay but necessary for the game's survival.

[pepperpixel]

+ Butch 4 Butch +

(Except neither one of them is rlly that butch but holy fUCKING SHIT THAT SONG IS LITERALLY THEM… the version of them I made up in my mind palace… it’s them.)

Anywayyyy. Yeah! Have a tagr art dump..! aka, those vibes when you, out of a series of moments of temporary insanity, end up finding, taking in, nursing back to health and eventually falling into a tangled messy yearning situationship w the asshole tsundere alien who tried to destroy your entire planet… rlly extremely relatable vibes!!

[buttercupshands]

rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)

(but it did inspire me)

on another note

finally!!

[naughtybg3confessions]

When I saw the poll, I actually felt comforted that I wasn't the only one who thought about their favorite character while having sex with their partner.. I'm honestly ashamed because I'm in a monogamous relationship, but I always had trouble enjoying vaginal sex. I almost never enjoyed it, until getting into bg3 and it got my libido back for sex. I've been initiating sex with my partner more, and I think that makes him happy because I almost never do that. My partner is pretty large and I'm pretty small, so usually hurts even with lube and takes time for me to get used to the size, but when I start remembering the fanfics I've read of my favorite character and fantasize, I immediately find myself enjoying it and I cant get enough of being pounded. I know this might seem pathetic and I do feel guilty..I'm sorry…

(Anon is referring to this poll)