#and kicking my feet

[phaticserpent]

I just had a silly thought... what would Bayverse!Optimus do if a human friend stuck embarrassing car magnets on his bumper without him realizing at the time, but then one of his fellow Autobots does when he transforms into his normal self (let's just say Crosshairs cuz I feel like he'd be an ass about it).

Oooooooooo yessssss, THIS IS SO LATE I'M SO SORRY QWQ

It was cleaning day and you were busy hosing down Optimus' alt form. While he was recharging and you were drying, you slipped a few magnets on his bumper. Trying to contain your laughter, you continued your business and quickly admired your work. There were a few hilarious retro magnets and stickers, definitely something any driver would like while driving behind Optimus.

"All done!" You smiled as Optimus got out of recharge. He hummed softly and transformed. "Good as new boss man." You couldn't help but snicker as Optimus noticed one on his forearm, the leader of the autobot studied it before looking at you.

"(Y/N)?"

"Y-yeah?"

"What is.....'girlboss'?" Optimus asked. The other autobots gathered around, a couple snickering from the other magnets.

"Oh, heh, you know like....you're a boss but you're like a 'girl' boss." You chuckled. Optimus stared at you, the confusion never leaving his optics. "It's a word of endearment."

"Ah I see, then you are also a 'girlboss'." Optimus smiled. You tried your best to hide your laughter, feeling it choke up in your throat as you nodded respectfully at him.

Crosshairs on the other hand, he wasn't too discrete about it. "BAHAHAHAHA, 'SLUTTY WAIST PRIME' AND....AND 'THICCTIMUS PRIME'!" Your face flushed as he read the embarrassing ones, while Optimus gawked at his fellow autobots. "WAIT WAIT WAIT, 'TOO BABE FOR YOU' THAT'S HILARIOUS." He then pretended to wipe a tear from all the laughing.

"......(Y/N)." Optimus called.

".....yes?"

"What did you put on me?"

"Nothing sir." You smiled innocently. "I've never heard of them nor have I ever seen them."

"You haven't?"

"No sir."

"Hmm," Optimus studied you. "It's a shame, these magnets are quite unique and decorative...."

"You think so?"

"It was my brilliant idea," Crosshairs boasted. "I knew Optimus would like them."

"Oh? You're forbidden from car racing for a month."

"WHAT?"

You let out a soft snicker at Crosshairs reaction, the autobot grumbled and stomped off with the others; leaving you and Optimus alone. "Would you subject me to the same fate, Optimus?"

"No, you don't enjoy car racing."

You let out a chuckle. "You're right." Optimus knelt down to meet your gaze. "Well, you're right about me being the culprit, heh, so whats my punishment?"

Optimus placed his hand under his chin, almost replicating the human thinking pose he had often seen you doing. "To go out on a drive with me."

"Huh?"

"We must test out the stability and durability of the magnets."

"You're not mad?"

"....not if it's you."

[dutifullylazybread]

OKAY BUT I HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER HAS ME UGLY SCREECHING--

--IMAGINE: Rolan and Tav go on their first date together... and ANYTHING that can go wrong DOES go wrong.

Tav is used to this. The tadfools spent weeks chasing down dead ends in hopes of trying to get rid of the tadpole. Things go wrong--you just pick yourself up and keep going. The date isn't ruined.

Rolan, ON THE OTHER HAND, has also had similar experiences as Tav, BUT he also does not handle plans changing at the last minute very well. The date is ruined. Children are weeping in the streets. The very infrastructure of Baldur's Gate is at risk of crumbling.

ANTICS ENSUE

[killerqueenhetfield]

Okay but this era gets me in my feelings

[murderoushagthesequel]

“mine”

can you guess who he belongs to? <3

for @canyouhearmyfear

[sh4thesh33p]

**happily sips wine and giggles**

The goofy lil goth man is happy!!

[theropodtheroblogs]

a dream for you!

- dream-blob

:OOOOOO I will hold his face and treasure him thank you <333

[ryan-waddell11]

STOP HE’S SO CUTE

[all444miles]

CAN WE BE MUTUALS PLEASE <3

sorry, can i just

AHH OH MY GOLLY GOSH GAWWSSSH OFC WE CAN POOKIE WATCHU MEANNNNN 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

can i also say that ur myles (the one where the reader has a crush on miles n myles practices with the reader AND YKWKWKJKKDW) HAD ME LIKE...

GIGGLING N CRYING LIKE A BITCH. LIKE, I SOUNDED LIKE A PSYCHO BC I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(warning: me fangirling in tags)

[gallonsoblood]

Hhh I wanted to draw her so I drew her as a lil birthday gift so uh *runs away*

THIS IS SO GOOD THANK YOU SO MUCH??????? WTF HELP IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY RN 😭💚

[soov-archived]

next time i drop the most lovesick insanely cute adorably fluffy drabble ever everyone's gonna be like “wow!!!!! how did rei think abt this scenario!!!!!!” and i'm just gonna say that IM PULLING

[cletus-kasadys-gay-boy]

Spoilers??

Carnage 2nd issue

New body and purpose, still the same lil freak.

Plus it keeps proving headcanons of mine right.

[mafiatsunafish]

I know about 9-1-1 and Buck through TikTok first (pls don’t judge me, I have a bit too much time in my hands and they’re all over my fly) and no words could describe how confused I was when I actually watch its s1 and met Buck 1.0

The sweet, adorable, whole some golden is now a straight-up menace to this goddamn society and needed to have a big ass warning sign before approaching (affectionately)

Along with all things that had been thrown into my face in only the first ep, the shell shock was fucking real. I was NOT prepared to deal with all of that in my first time watching the show.

That man in s1 for me is the epitome of a walking red flag despite many of his sweet sweet little details.

But now, after binge watched into s6, seeing his character development at its finest. Sometimes, I wish to see 1.0 play boy Buck have a brief cameo, just for comedic relief.

( s1 Buck is a disaster bi in deep denial and confusion, until he meet Eddie in s2, welp)

[testicularmanslaughtrr]

saw a strange long haired man vending at the ren faire and i had to be pulled away i was ready to risk it all lads

[martitheevans]

Nothing tops the feeling of when someone reblogs your post and tags it like "you get it", "OP is so right" I love validation from random internet strangers

[neverevan]

It ain't no lie, baby, bi bi bi ♫

[daisydood]

i hate it when i refer to a woman as a cowboy and then someone corrects me "erm actually shes a cowgirl!!" no she's not. cowboy is all genders you cannot separate the power of yeehaw