#and letting me subject you to absolute heartbreak

[seiya-starsniper]

(angst prompts) ❛ i’m sorry, have we met? ❜

TJ I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS. I decided to continue the prompt from @valeriianz [Part 1 Here] to make it more angsty. But also kind of hopeful? Maybe???????

cw: major character death, memory loss

----------

“Will you give me a sweet dream before I go, old friend?” Hob asks.

Dream’s eyes widen, and he is sure the shock in them must be clear, because Hob startles a laugh.

“Yeah,” Hob coughs, and new blood spurts forth from his lips. “Been here long enough to figure out who you were. Why they wanted,” he hacks again, “you or your sister. I was never going to give you up.”

“I know,” Dream says. “But you must not - “

“I’ve lived a good life,” Hob interrupts him. “But I think it’s time. I’m just happy it was you who came for me, Dream of the Endless.”

“No,” Dream replies, voice trembling. “For you, you may simply call me Dream.”

“Dream,” Hob sighs, awash with a new wave of contentment. “I like that. Lovely name.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Dream says, before he steels himself for what he must do.

“I will give you the sweetest of dreams,” Dream says, trying and failing miserably to keep his voice steady. “Once you are there, you may call upon my sister, and…she will give you her gift.” 

“Sounds,” Hob stutters, “sounds good to me.”

It is little effort for Dream to call forth his sand and place Hob into a deep sleep. In the Dream, he recreates what might have been, in 1989, were Hob not captured, and Dream were a better friend. 

It is not long before he feels the presence of his sister.

“Dream,” Death says, her tone soft and kind. “You must let him go now.”

Dream clutches Hob’s body even tighter. 

“Please sister,” Dream pleads. “Do not take him from me yet.”

“You know that is not my choice to make,” Death replies. “It is his time, and he has made his choice.”

“Will you tell me what his choice it is?”

Death smiles sadly. “You know I cannot.”

—

Hob is running through a field of poppies, his beloved dog at his side. He has been running for some time, he thinks, and yet he is neither tired nor hungry. 

He stops when he feels himself being watched, and when he looks over his shoulder, his dog has padded over to a pale man dressed all in back. 

“Hello,” the man says, first to the dog, and then to Hob himself. 

“Hello!” Hob greets the stranger enthusiastically. “I - I’m sorry, have we met before? You look awfully familiar.”

“No,” the man answers, and Hob thinks he sounds a bit sad about that. Something lurches in Hob’s chest, and he thinks he should rectify the man’s sadness immediately.

“Well, you seem like a kind person, so I’d like to get to know you, if that’s all right,” Hob says, offering his hand out.

The man nods, and grasps Hob’s outstretched hand firmly.

“I am Dream,” the stranger says. “I am lord of all that inhabits the Dreaming. You…you passed in your sleep, Hob Gadling.”

 “You were offered a place to stay here, which you,” the man pauses, “which you accepted.”

Hobs’ eyes widen, and he lets go of Dream’s hand then falls to his knees. “My lord, forgive my impudence, my memories from when I was alive have fled me it seems.” He hopes he has not offended Dream. He does not want to be banished. He wants to stay, he wants-

“Rise, Hob," Dream says. "You may be subject to my realm but I - I was hoping that we…we may become friends.”

Hob scrambles up off his knees immediately, and before he can think any better of it, he tugs Dream into a bone crushing hug. He feels the dreamlord stiffen for just a moment, before his arms rise slowly to return the hug.

“I would like that very much, my lord,” Hob says when he withdraws from Dream.

“Please,” Dream replies. “You may just address me as Dream.”

“Dream,” Hob says. “That’s a lovely name.” Something complicated flashes across Dream’s expression, but it’s gone before Hob can examine it further.

“Thank you,” Dream answers, just the barest hint of a smile crossing his face. “Would you like a drink?”

A table with wine and cheese materializes itself next to where they’re standing, and Hob sits down eagerly. Dream follows shortly after, pouring out a glass for each of them. 

They sit, and then begin to talk.



Send me an Angst Prompt!

[drudyslut]

Pretty Blue Eyes — R.C

— summary: you see rafe at a party after he’d dumped you, and it hurts more than you thought it would.

— CW: 18+ only! angst, strong language, alcohol consumption, drunk!reader, hurt/no comfort.

— a/n: i’m so sorry. i love angst and when i’m sad, i have to make y’all sad too. this angst prompts list gave me ideas and i used dialogues 3, 14 and 20<3 likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated <3

I never knew losing him would hurt so much. Losing the one person I’d spent the last six months of my life with.

Six months might not seem like much to some, I understand people have gone through greater losses. But I’d fallen in love with him. Fallen in love with all the meaningless words he’d said. Fallen in love with his scent, his touch, his pretty blue eyes.

But he never loved me. I was just a game. Something to use to pass the time. I boosted his ego, made him feel special. And all the while, he was using me. Playing me. Making me fall in love with him, just so he could break my heart. It was random, and very unexpected. Four words was all it took to shatter my heart into a million little pieces — “I never loved you.” is what he’d said.

To make matters worse? He’d told me this right after we’d had sex. I gave myself to him. My whole self. And he took. He took and took, but never gave. He took until there was nothing left for me to give. He owned my soul, my heart, my body. He owned me, but I never owned him.

That was three days ago. Three days of crying myself to sleep, three days of not eating and drinking myself to death. Three days since I’d seen his face. I’ve tried to avoid him, but I knew I’d see him again. We live on a small fucking island for Christs sake. And he’s everywhere. He’s very well known. There’s no escaping him. And tonight proves that. He’s here. His pretty blue eyes watching me from across the room. I wish I could show him I don’t care, that he didn’t rip my fucking heart out and stomp on it…

But I can’t. I still love him.

“Are you okay?”

My best friend, Ashlyn’s, voice pulls me from the darkness I’ve allowed myself to crawl into. I slowly turn to face her, light brown eyes filled with concern intensely stare back at me.

I put on my best fake smile. “Yeah. Fine, why?”

Lie. I’m not okay, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I can’t admit that.

She frowns. “You’re not okay though, I can see it in your eyes. Do you wanna leave? We can lea-”

I quickly cut her off. “No, no. It’s fine. Let’s just go get another drink. I’m gonna need them if I’m going to last here all night.”

Her frown deepens, but she nods her head. I internally thank the Heavens that she dropped the subject. I don’t want to talk about Rafe and how he’d absolutely obliterated my heart.

She grabs my hand, lacing her fingers with mine before pulling me off to the kitchen, and out of the eyesight of the beautiful, blue eyed man I once had all to myself.

“I’m thinking shots of fireball. Shit will get you drunk so fast.”

I laugh. “The alcohol version of red hot gum, I’m down.”

Laughing at my lame attempt at a joke, she grips the neck of the bottle, grabbing two shot glasses next and filling them both to the rim. I quickly grab mine, tossing it back and swallowing the harsh amber liquid. A shiver wracks my body as the burning liquid makes its way down my throat.

I cough, placing my hand over my stomach. “Fuck, I forget how much that shit burns.”

Ashlyn chuckles. “Yeah. But that’s what makes it great. The burn of this can help erase the burn you feel from Rafe being a royal douche.”

I can’t help but laugh at that. She’s right. I prefer the burn of the liquor over the burn of Rafe and his heartbreaking words.

She quickly fills the shot glasses again, handing me mine and watching as I down the amber liquid once more.

I slam the shot glass back on the counter. “Another, please.”

She smiles widely. “Atta girl. You’ll forget about the smug bastard by the end of the night at this rate.”

***

Ashlyn was right. I was…. twenty shots in?? I don’t fucking know, I was drunk. And I wasn’t thinking about the pretty blue eyed man.

I’m about to take another shot when a voice I didn’t want to hear anytime soon has me dropping the glass on the floor, clear liquid spilling at my feet as the glass shatters — representing my heart because of him.

“Y/N… I think you should cut yourself off and go home.. I’ll take you.”

I snap my head in his direction, those damn pretty blue eyes staring down at me. Looking at me like I actually meant something to him. Lies. He doesn’t give a fuck. He just doesn’t want me embarrassing him tonight. Fuck him.

With shaky hands, I grab another glass from the counter, my eyes never leaving his. I reach out and find the tall, glass bottle of Tito’s, pouring myself another shot and then downing it with my eyes on his.

“Fuck you, Rafe.”

He sighs, setting his beer bottle on the counter and placing his hands on my shoulders. His blue eyes search my face.

“Y/N. Please, go home. You’re drunk, and you’re hurting.”

I roll my eyes and scoff. Fuck him for trying to pretend he cares. He doesn’t give a shit about me. And I’m done caring about him.

“Stop acting like you give a fuck about me, Rafe. You dumped me. So it’s done. I just want to get drunk, and fucking forget I ever loved you.”

He glances behind me, his eyes taking in everyone that’s watching us. “Hey, can we please go talk outside?”

I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but he grabs my hand, pulling me outside. I’m so drunk I can’t fight him off. He pulls me all the way down the stairs of the front porch and down the long driveway until we reach his truck.

He opens the passenger door, tossing me inside and slamming it shut behind him. My heavy eyes watch him round the front of the truck before he hops inside the driver seat. He pulls the keys out of his pocket, sticking them into the ignition and bringing the truck to life.

I cross my arms over my chest with a huff. “Where the fuck are you taking me, Rafe?”

He glances at me from the corner of his eye before placing them back on the road. “Home.” comes his clipped answer.

I lean my head against the window. Why does he do this? He left me. Why does he care if I’m drunk at a party or not? Why can’t he just leave me alone and let me heal?

The smell of leather and his cologne fills my nose. I feel the tears begin burning the backs of my eyes, and I swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat. I lift my head, turning my head to the side to look at him. He still looks so good, and it hurts. He has one hand firmly gripping the steering wheel and the other lays lazily in his lap.

He has on a tight baby blue polo, and khakis with a backwards hat on. I want him to kiss me, and tell me everything will be okay. Tell me that he made a mistake and he does love me. But I know that won’t happen. He meant what he said, and there’s no getting him back, no matter how badly I want him back.

A few minutes later, he’s pulling into the driveway of my parents house. He puts the truck in park and hops out, rounding the truck to my side and opening the door for me.

He reaches his hand out, and I take it. My heart pulls in my chest at the feel of his touch again. I miss him.

He helps me out of the truck, and walks me to the front door. I turn and face him, wanting to get some things off my chest before he goes.

“Why’d you do it?” I ask softly, tears stinging at my eyes and threatening to spill.

He sighs, and the look in his eyes hold slight regret. “I can’t answer that… I just, I didn’t want to be with you anymore. And I’m sorry I hurt you in the process, but I couldn’t pretend to love you when I didn’t.”

The first tear falls, and I blink rapidly, swiping at my cheeks with the back of my hand. “I still don’t understand what I did wrong..”

He places a hand on my shoulder, and I can’t stop the sob that is pulled from me.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N… I promise. I know this is so cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me. I just couldn’t commit.”

The tears are now flowing uncontrollably down my face and my body is shaking. I’m in pain. And he’s making it worse.

“I love you, Rafe. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m sorry.. I just can’t. You need to stop loving me.”

I choke out a sob. “I don’t want to love you anymore. But I do.”

He sighs, letting his head fall and his eyes look to the ground.

This is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I’m not getting him back. I’ll never have Rafe Cameron in my life again. And that thought alone has me spiraling into a depression I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back from.

“Say something, Rafe.” I choke out.

His head lifts, and his eyes find mine again. He’s went from looking regretful, to angry in just seconds.

“What do you want me to say? I left you. And now you’re showing up to my friend’s house, getting fucking wasted and causing a scene. What the fuck do you want from me? I can’t fucking force myself to love you! I just fucking can’t! I’m sorry, but that’s the fucking truth. I never fucking loved you, Y/N. Let it the fuck go.”

Another harsh sob wracks my body as I come to terms with the fact that he truly never loved me. He never cared about me. He used me, and I let him. I grab my house key out of my small purse and stick it into the lock. I push open the front door, turning to face him before I walk inside, I say, “I could have lived without knowing you never meant anything you told me. You fucking broke me, Rafe. You ruined me. A once bright and happy fucking woman, and you’ve shattered me. I fucking hate you, and I hope you’re happy. Please, just leave me the fuck alone.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but I slam the door in his face, quickly locking it and sliding my back down the door until my ass hits the floor. I bring my knees up to my chest, curling in on myself. I let out a loud scream, knowing my parents aren’t home tonight. Sobs wrack my entire body and I feel the physical pain in my chest from where he once lived. He fucking broke me, and I will never forgive him for that.

RAFE TAGLIST: @rafeism @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @lorelai-lilith @lizcameron @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @anqeliclust @presleyanswrites @carma-fanficaddict @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @sugarcoatedstarkey @skyesthebomb @stvrkey @vhour @emma77645 @rafeinterlude @superlegend216 @mannstarkey @digitaldiary111 @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @atorturedpoetx @carolinaxvz @maybankslover @cantstoptherecs @pradabambie @slut4ani @biggesthat3r @wearemadeofstardust @sylverdragon @ditzyzombiesblog @the-sylver-dragon @nattywatty @urfavpersonality @stupidbxnny @mattyskies @corpsebridenightamare

rafe cameron masterlist | taglist form

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 17

George is so sweet to put so much effort into helping Ringo write his song and to not ask for any kind of writing credit. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? But also, I’d do that for Ringo too if I were him. Ringo deserves it for everything he’s given to that band and the little credit he’s received. 

“What am I playing, Richie?” “You’ll be on drooms.” If the Beatles know how to do one thing, it’s be cute. 

John, stop talking about Paul’s strong arms, you're embarrassing yourself. 

I do have to just include this here. From my Get Back book. I never heard, “was it sexually oriented?” on the nagra reels, but apparently that’s what Peter Jackson’s cleaned-up version gave him, and again, he was like, “hmm. Too gay.” 

He’s known Heather for how long? Less than a year, right? But if somebody had showed me just this footage and told me he’d raised her from a newborn, I would not blink an eye. That kind of tired but fond interaction is exactly how a dad plays with his kid. And she’s climbing all over him and bossing him around like he’s never not been in her life. It’s beautiful. 

And John, with his “are you going to eat them?” is the perfect sort of bad-example favorite uncle. The kind that would check her out of school when she’s older and go get her ears pierced when her dad had said she was too young. 

Sorry, I promise I’m not just going to be thirsting over dad Paul this whole time. I have to just make one thing clear, and this is the only thing I’ll say on the subject and then I’m done. If a man is a 3 and a good dad, he’s a 10. Paul was already an 11, so I’m literally just done-for. Okay, I’ll shut up. 

John and Paul doing their usual thing, only paying attention to each other. Talking about an Elvis gospel ending for Let it Be. George, smirking, stands up: and we’ll all kneel as you do it. If John had said it, Paul would be in stitches. But George said it, and he might as well have never opened his mouth for all the notice he gets. And it’s honestly heartbreaking, if you can take your eyes off of the insanity of John and Paul’s weird eye-contact, to watch George’s face go from excited at his own wit and hopeful for a laugh to just completely downcast. Twelve years of that. Twelve years. 

Ringo, you’re an absolute saint. He’s being so sweet to Heather, even letting her mess with his symbols, and then Paul has the audacity to tell him to “keep it lighter.” Like. Paul. Do you think that maybe the fact that he’s got a five-year-old over there “helping” him might have anything to do with how the drums are coming out? Just a thought. Anyone else would at least have something to say about it. Ringo just sort of nods along but he looks SO tired.

TFW you’re inspiring the next generation of women to be loud and free and take up space.

“Dig it” is actually insane to me. I know I’m crazy, but remember those twin dreams they had about buried treasure when they first met? “If you want it, you can dig it up.” ???

When George and Paul just jump into harmonizing together when they’re talking about The Long and Winding Road arrangement? Their voices are like magic together. I wish they would’ve had George sing that part in the final thing, actually.  

[byeoltoyuki]

✧memories of us ✧ a touch

↳ Pairing: Jisung x Reader

❧ Genre : romance / smut /fluff / 1st love to strangers to lovers

❧ Summary: Sometimes memories are just that. Memories.

❧ Warnings: fingering , Minho is watching

A series of drabbles about you and Jisung, about your love and your heartbreak and a second chance.

❧ A/N: Likes and reblogs are appreciated ♥

Masterlist / previous / next

Whoever thought that having a horror-movie night was a good idea was an idiot. Not that you didn’t like horror movies, quite the opposite even. But the others? Not so much. Nevertheless, everybody agreed to meet at Changbin’s place, being the biggest, because you loved spending time together. Even in misery. 

“Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.” Yunji complained with a loud groan. 

“Or maybe you’re going to use this chance to get all cozy with Minho.” You teased her. You had been suspicious about them for a while. You just had a feeling there was something going on. They always bickered, always pushed at each other’s buttons but they were also incredibly protective other each other. 

Yunji didn’t disappoint. She dropped the bag of chips and looked at you, mouth opened in shock and wide eyes. “No! Never!” 

You leaned closer, smirking. Someone was being too defensive tonight. “Sure about that?”

“You little shit!” She hit your arm to hide her embarrassment. “Then what about you and Jisung? Do you think we’re blind?” 

That was unexpected and almost made you wish you hadn’t teased your friend about her not so odd relationship with Minho. Karma was real. “What about us?” You straightened your back and averted your eyes from her face, trying to look and sound as nonchalant as possible.

Yunji rolled her eyes and resumed filling the bowls with snacks. “You’re close. Is there something going on?” 

You wished you could tell her but you weren’t completely sure what to say. Yes, there was something; you had kissed, you had shared sweet moments together. But were you dating? Not really. You didn’t know how to label your relationship, so you didn’t. You waited for the right moment to have the talk with him. 

“We’re close.” You ended up saying. “That’s all.” 

Yunji hummed not convinced but dropped the subject. Maybe because she preferred for you to be comfortable around to talk about you and Jisung, or maybe she was simply afraid this conversation would turn back on her. Instead, she finished her job; she put different snacks on the big plate while you grabbed the different drinks.

“Let’s face our doom.” Yunji cheered and tried to repress the shiver. Among all of you, Yunji was definitely the most sensitive when it came to horror movies; you could only applaud her courage for coming.

“At least, Changbin had outdone himself.” You pointed out at the appalling amount of blankets and cushions he had prepared for the night. His living room looked anything but a living room; blankets were all over the place, on the floor, on the couch, on the chairs – everywhere. It made the room looked absolutely cozy.

Jisung had already settled, claiming his place on the couch. Changbin chose the floor, a big, fluffy cushion pressed against his chest. Minho, on the other hand, chose the armchair large enough for two.

“How come we’re the one doing all the work?” Yunji scolded the three men.

“Excuse me, but I’m doing an important job!” Changbin protested and pointed at her with the remote. “I’m choosing the most terrifying movie for tonight.”

Yunji actually shook at his words and it did not go unnoticed.

Minho smirked evilly at her. “What’s wrong, kitten. Scared?”

“Fuck you, Minho.” Yunji hurried to reply and put the plate on the table just to give him a finger.

“You wish, babe.”

Before they could start a fight, Changbin opened his arms widely. “Come here, I’ll protect you.” What a sweet gentleman. Yunji did exactly what he suggested. She joined him on the floor and Changbin was quick to wrap her in a blanket and put some cushions to make her comfortable. “You’ll be fine.”

She wouldn’t but she appreciated the intention either way.

You, on the other hand, considered your options. Of course, there was still room for you on the floor but lying beside Jisung seemed like a rather good yet dangerous idea. Jisung took the matter in his own hands; he gently grabbed your hand and pulled you with enough strength to make you fall on the couch, right beside him. Without giving you time to protest, he pulled his blanket over the two of you and pulled you in his arms. “We’re ready! Let’s the night begin!”

Were you blushing? Absolutely. Not only because being in his arms felt divine, but also because Minho was smirking proudly at the two of you. And so was Yunji. No doubt, they would tease the shit out of you later. God help you.

Barely twenty minutes into the movie and Yunji was already screaming and jumping at every little noise, at every little shadow, not that you could blame her. Every time she jumped, it made you jump too, not because you were actually scared of the movie but because her reaction startled you every single time.

Jisung chuckled at you, tickling your side playfully.

“Stop it!” You groaned and nudged him in return.

“But you’re so cute!”

“Can you two shut up? We’re trying to watch a movie here!” Changbin glanced angrily at you over his shoulder.

“Sorry.”

But Jisung wasn’t sorry; he nudged Changbin with his foot and stuck his tongue out. Typical.

You tried to concentrate back on the movie, but apparently Jisung wasn’t sharing your plans. Under the blanket, his hand moved slowly. So slowly, at first you thought he was trying to change his position. But then, it came to rest on your thigh. Such an innocent gesture that gave you goosebumps. You held your breath, forcing your body to stay still, trying desperately not to misunderstand his intentions. But then, he moved his hand a little higher, squeezing your soft flesh on his way and you couldn’t take it. You grabbed his hand to stop him. You didn’t trust yourself not to make any noise if he kept touching you like that.

“What the hell are you doing?” You scolded him under your breath, hoping none of your friends would hear or notice what was going on.

But Jisung didn’t answer, he smiled sheepishly at you and despite your hold on his hand, he resumed the touching. Your body’s instant response was to squeeze your thighs together, trapping his hand in between. You should stop him before it could get out of hand. You should. And yet.

Jisung looked down at you, wiggled his brows playfully and pinched your skin. “Open up, pretty angel.”

And how could you not when he was asking so nicely? When he was looking at you with so much need and longing? You parted your legs and let him have control.

He leaned closer, lips brushing your ear. “Good girl.”

Fuck. You were in so much trouble.

Jisung’s hand felt soft and warm against your skin. More his hand got higher and more your skin was burning. You desperately wanted him to stop teasing you but he was enjoying it too much, seeing how your breath got hard, how you were clutching his shirt, how you were trying to hold back.

The moment he slipped his hand inside your shorts, you silently gasped. Jisung hummed, pleased, against your ear as he found just how needy, how wet he got you with just simple touches. He caressed your lips, gently rubbing before spreading your arousal all over, stopping at your clit.

“So wet, angel.” He whispered and bit playfully your ear.

You bit on your lips to prevent a moan to slip from them. It felt just so good to have his fingers playing with you and you wanted more. You wished you were alone in the room so you could fully let go.

Jisung started rubbing circles around your clit, so incredibly slow you thought you would lose your mind and start begging him to do it harder, faster. He found his own pace and simply enjoyed how responsive your body was.

You closed your eyes and threw your head back, your body twitching with every rub. He pinched your clit and you bit down on your lip so hard you thought it would pierce your skin. Bloody hell.

All color left your face the moment you opened your eyes and your eyes locked with Minho who, unfortunately for you, was no longer concentrated on the movie but on the two of you. One brow cocked, he stared so intensely at you, your body froze and you gripped Jisung’s hand under the blanket to stop him. Your breath hitched in your throat as you wanted to hide from the world. He had to know what was going on under this blanket. It was Minho, he always knew everything.

Jisung lazily moved his head to follow your gaze. You thought that once he realized that they were discovered, he would stop, pull his hand away. But he didn’t. He chuckled softly and took you by surprise as he slid one finger inside of you and then another – you gasped and writhed. He simply didn’t care about an audience. This was pure madness and you shouldn’t be enjoying it as much as you did, but as Jisung curled his fingers inside you, your eyes rolled back in your head.

“I bet he’s jealous.” Jisung whispered as he brushed that spot that made your toes curl and brought tears to your eyes as you tried not to make any noise. It was getting harder and harder as you felt your stomach tightening.

“Too bad, you’re mine.” Hearing the possessiveness in his voice made you clench hard around his fingers. It was hot and if you didn’t have his fingers deep inside you, you would have made a comment, instead you clasped your hand over your mouth.

The climax rushed toward you, fast and strong. The release came in waves of intense pleasure washing over you. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. Your body went limp against him, panting silently.

Jisung pulled out his fingers and he hummed in satisfaction as he brought them to his mouth and licked them clean.

Fuck. You could come again just from watching him lick and suck on his fingers.

“You know what,” Minho started, getting everybody’s attention. The smirk on his face terrified you. He wouldn’t just spill your little secret, would he? “This movie sucks. Next time we should watch porn.”

“Fucker.” You cursed under your breath as Jisung burst into laughter beside you.

[neil-gaiman]

Dear Neil.

There's a tragedy happening in Iran, we're being shot in the streets, my brothers and sisters are dying, my government is committing war crimes and as a fellow human being I'm desperately asking for your help to raise awareness.

Mahsa Amini was a 22-year-old woman who was brutally murdered by the Islamic Republic of Iran's so-called "morality police." Her crime? Showing hair in public and "dressing inappropriately." Any human being with a pair of working eyes who has seen pictures of her prior to her murder can see that not only was her dress not inappropriate, but also that she (and a lot of women in Iran) had covered herself more than any other woman in any other part of world is obligated to.This sparked fury among the people of Iran and a wave of nation-wide protests broke out as the result. But don't get it wrong. This was only the straw that broke the camel's back and was the result of 43 years of unmitigated oppression and cruelty that the people of Iran have been subjected to. Every Iranian is branded a Muslim from birth and they're not given a choice. You cannot identify as an atheist and other religious minorities are treated horribly with a lot of their rights stripped from them. There's been a long history of cruelty against Bahai people in Iran, for example. We're not forced to be muslims in name only. We're also forced to act like muslims and learn all the muslim teachings, hijab being one of the many ideals shoved down our throat. And of course, converting from Islam to other religions or no religion is punishable by death. This savagery is not part of our culture or law; it is not part of any humanitarian law to kill women for showing hair and exercising their right to bodily autonomy for that matter.Up until now, the government forces have been violent and ruthless in their attempts to stump out our protests. They've shot people from a 63 year old woman to a 10 year old girl, killing them all without mercy. The Internet has been cut out in several places and reportedly, they've brought out tanks and used military-grade bullets in the city of Sanandaj, where the Internet has been shut down for two days as of September 21. Meanwhile, president Ibrahim Raisi is giving a lecture in the UN, babbling about saving the people of Palestine and justice in the world while his own forces are brutally murdering ordinary people and protesters in Iran.At this point, we're in danger of being cut off from the world when the whole internet finally shuts down. This is not a speculation. The same thing happened in the nation-wide protests of 2019 and the government proceeded to kill all the protesters in absolute radio silence. A lot of protesters were found with cement blocks tied to their ankles and thrown in the river after the successfully stumped the protests out. We don't want the same thing to happen to our children and people again. If you hear no more news from Iran, things haven't settled down. We are being silently killed off and executed.You might think you don't have anything to do with this, but think again about why you all involved yourselves in the war between Ukraine and Russia. This is not any different. Our people have waged a war against their government and none of them are people who willingly chose violence. They are normal people who want nothing more than a normal life, which is what the Islamic regime has taken from them. If you have an ounce of humanity and empathy within yourself, you'll spread the word around and not let this injustice go unanswered and unpunished.There's nothing more to be said.

As an Iranian woman who always read your books and who always raised up her voice, I need help now. We can Breathe anymore! I fought for poc, I raised my voice for ukraine. Now I need yours. I'm a young author. I can have a future... a free one! but my government took it from me. Please be my voice ... our voice!!

I'm happy to let people know, yes. And it's heartbreaking.

Here's the BBC on what's happening:

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, poorly translated Russian, mentions of CSA/trafficking, mentions of death, emotional repression of childhood trauma, Bucky nightmares, bonding over trauma, some fluff and comfort.

Word Count: 2.6k

Previously On...: You literally ran into Bucky in the hallway outside your rooms and bond over a shared love of Middle Earth like the fucking nerds you are. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

A/N: I know this part introduces some heavy backstory for our Dear Reader. Please know writing this for her has been a therapeutic exercise for me in dealing with trauma from my own childhood, which, coincidentally, has been shoved back into the forefront of my life recently, forcing me to re-evaluate things I thought I had processed. Please know that I'm not approaching this subject flippantly, and her reactions/attitudes have been based on my own healing (or rather, suppressing) journey.

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic @marcswife21

Your friendship with Bucky only continued to grow from there. There was something about him, his quiet demeanor, his gentle sense of humor, that made you feel an immediate connection with him, as if you'd known him for ages instead of just a few weeks. You weren't one to open up to others easily; it had taken you over a year to trust that Tony didn't have any ulterior motives for befriending you, but with Bucky, it was effortless, as if you couldn't have stopped it even if you wanted to.

About three weeks into his residency at the Tower, you were exposed to your first instance of one of Bucky's nightmares. He'd told you he frequently had them, but you'd yet to experience one firsthand. You hadn't been able to sleep-- your own losing battle with insomnia--, so you were coming back up from getting a late night snack in the communal kitchen when you heard the muffled shouting coming from behind his door. At first, you were going to ignore it, sure that it was his television, but you heard him utter a single, desperate "Pozhaluysta," the sound of it so heartbreaking that your breath caught in your lungs. Please.

Crossing over to Bucky's door, you knocked softly. "Bucky? It's Pocket. Are you okay? I heard shouting." You waited for an answer... but nothing. Taking a step closer, you put an ear to the door, holding your breath. You could make out the sound of frantic thrashing, cries of "Net!" and then a whimper. He sounded like he was in trouble, like he was in pain.

"FRIDAY," you said to the AI that ran the tower, "open the door."

"I'm sorry, Ms. (Y/L/N), but Sergeant Barnes has locked his door for the evening."

"For fucks' sake, FRIDAY," you muttered. "Enact override protocol 346.78C." There was no point in being the Avenger's resident computer genius if you couldn't hack their home automation system, was there? You heard the click of Bucky's door unlocking. Turning the handle and hoping that asking him for forgiveness was easier than asking for permission, you stepped inside.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but once you were able to make out shapes in the gloom of the darkened suite, you saw that the layout was relatively similar to your own. You made your way over to the bed, expecting to see Bucky writhing on it in the midst of his nightmare, but it was empty, stripped of all bedding, just a bare mattress.

Then you heard him, thrashing from the space between the bed and the wall. You shuffled over to the other side and found the super soldier lying on the floor, tangled in his sheets. A thin sheen of sweat covered his naked torso, a pair of sweat pants riding low on his hips. His face was contorted in agony as his head twisted from side to side.

"Net! Net!" he cried out in Russian, fighting off invisible assailants, "Pozhaluysta, ne nado! Eto bol'no!" No! No! Please, no! It hurts!

It physically pained your heart to see him struggling like this, so you did the first thing that came to mind-- you threw yourself across him, wrapping your arms around his body and holding him in place, whispering back to him in Russian: "Ty v poryadke, ty v poryadke. Ty v bezopasnosti. Nikto ne mozhet prichinit' tebe vred." You're okay, you're okay. You're safe. No one can hurt you. "I've got you, Bucky. You're safe."

It was a long moment before you realized that his thrashing had stopped, his heartbeat had slowed, and he had wrapped his arm around you, holding you to him as if you were a lifeline.

You pulled back, allowing him to sit up.

"Pocket?" he asked, voice laced with confusion at seeing you, as though he wasn't sure if he was actually awake or not. "What are you doing here? And... were you speaking Russian, or was I dreaming?"

Suddenly shy, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, avoiding looking at him. Jesus. He literally just woken up to you throwing yourself on top of him. "I-I'm sorry," you stammered. "I was walking by, and it sounded like you were having a nightmare. I was worried, so I came in to check on you. I'll let you go back to sleep. Sorry." You got up to go, but his hand reached out and encircled your wrist, gently holding you in place.

"No," he murmured, pulling you back down to the floor next to him. "You were right, I was having a nightmare. I... I told you I get them, sometimes. Memories, really. Of things Hydra... did to me. Things they... things they made me do. Thank you," he looked up at you, catching your eyes through the darkness and holding your gaze. "Thank you for waking me up, for taking me out of it."

You gulped, the night becoming far more intimate than you could have anticipated when you went downstairs to grab a pint of ice cream earlier. You forced a smile. "Of course. What are friends for?"

"Are we?" he asked, his voice suddenly low, causing a pool of warmth to collect in the bottom of your stomach. "Friends?"

"Of course, Buck." You gave him a concerned look. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Because I'm a monster, Pocket." Bucky lowered his head in his shame. "I'm a murderer and a monster."

"Oh, Bucky, no." You took his chin into your hands and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. "Sweetie, no, you're not. You were a victim. You didn't consent to a single thing Hydra made you do. I know that it's going to take you a long time to believe that, but it's the truth. I promise you it is." He closed his eyes and nodded.

"Pocket, do you think..." he looked away from you, almost shyly, "do you think you could stay? After a nightmare, I... Well, I don't really like being alone."

"And Rogers isn’t one for midnight cuddling, huh?" you teased, a playful smile on your lips. You couldn't see it, but you could practically feel the sardonic look he was giving you. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yes, I'll stay. But Bucky, I have one rule--"

"I'll keep my hand to myself and be a perfect gentleman, I promise," he said solemnly.

"Pfft," you scoffed. "I don't give a shit about that. Be as handsy as you want. No, my one rule is: I am not sleeping on the fucking floor." Bucky rewarded you with another one of his genuine laughs. You couldn't articulate how happy it made you feel knowing that you were the cause of that laughter.

"You got it," he said, as he stood up and began to move his sheets and pillows back to the bed. "Nothing but the best for you, doll."

Your insides glowed at this new nickname, and you were positive he was going to notice how his words made you light up in the dark. You busied yourself with helping him make up the bed before crawling under the covers. You tried not to be too obvious as you inhaled the scent of Bucky on the pillowcase. He smelled like cedar and leather and something unidentifiable that was just so quintessentially Bucky that it had become your favorite scent. You wanted to bottle it up and use it like a fabric spray so you'd always be surrounded by it. 

The bed dipped as Bucky got in, pulling the covers up over himself. "Thank you for this, Pocket," he whispered.

You turned onto your side to face him. "Of course. Any time, Bucky; I sincerely mean that. I know what it's like; I have them, too."

"You do?" You felt him reach for you in the dark, taking your hand and interlacing his fingers with yours. "You can tell me about them. If you want to."

You nodded, before realizing he probably couldn't see you, so you hummed an affirmative. There was something about the cover of night that made you feel brave, safe in opening up to Bucky; you found yourself wanting to tell him what kept you awake at night. You took a deep breath.

"I... didn't have the best childhood," you began, trying to keep your voice steady. "My father took off before I was old enough to even remember what he looked like, and my mother was always more interested in getting high than she was with being a parent. I was in and out of foster care for a while when I was a little girl." Buck squeezed your hand in sympathy and you continued: "Then she got this boyfriend, Darren." God, even now, the taste of his name on your tongue was like bitter bile. "For a little while, things were… better. Mom got her shit together enough that Social Services sent me back to live with her. I could almost believe that things were going to be okay. I mean, we even stayed in the same place for more than six months. I went to school regularly. It almost made me feel like a normal kid."

"What happened?" You barely heard Bucky's whispered question. You let out a harsh, disillusioned laugh.

"Puberty," you told him. "I turned eleven, got boobs and suddenly Darren's paying a lot more attention to me." You felt Bucky tense in the bed beside you. "Of course, that's entirely my fault, right?" you continued. "At least according to my mother. They started fighting more often, and she went back to the booze and meth. Stopped giving a shit about everything. Going to work, paying bills, making sure I went to school, whether or not I even ate. Only thing that mattered was where the next fix was going to come from." You took a breath. This next part was the hardest, and Tony was the only one you'd ever told the entire truth of the matter to.

"And with Mom incapacitated, boyfriend feels he's got free reign," Bucky supplied for you.

"Yeah," you swallowed, grateful you hadn't needed to actually say it, yourself.

"Pocket," Bucky began, "that's aw--"

"There's more," you admitted before he could continue. "Darren liked to bet on horses but, like absolutely everything else he ever did, he was complete shit at it. Ended up owing some horrible guys a lot of money. There was no way in hell he'd have been able to come up with it, so he... proposed a trade."

"God," Bucky breathed. "Oh, Pocket. I am so, so sorry."

"Thanks," you said, wishing that was the end of it, but knowing that you still weren't finished. "Darren realized he had a valuable commodity that a, uh, certain kind of man would pay good money for, and he wasn't just going to let such a lucrative income stream go to waste. He was an idiot, but he wasn't that dumb."

Next to you, Bucky sucked in a breath. You could practically feel him vibrating with anger for your younger self. "How long?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Seven years, more or less. When I turned 18, I grabbed every important document I could get my hands on, hightailed it to Boston and never looked back. But the memories, the nightmares? They still haunt me. Even after all this time, they’ve never fully gone away. So, you know, I get it."

There was silence for a moment, but then Bucky cleared his throat and asked: "Where is he now?"

"He's got himself a nice little plot of land in Pensacola," you said, a smile ghosting your face.

"So, he got off Scott-free." Bucky's voice was a low growl.

"Oh, I didn't say that, you said slyly. "That nice little plot is a pauper's grave at Pensacola Federal Prison Camp. Bastard got himself shanked in the slammer about ten years ago. Happiest day of my fucking life.

Bucky's laugh was low and dry. "What about your mom? Please tell me she got what she deserved, too."

You shifted slightly, propping your head up onto your hand. "Honestly, I have no idea what happened to her. The way she drank, she's probably long dead by now, and I could honestly not care less. That's why I have everyone call me Pocket." Bucky moved to mirror your position, using a pillow to prop himself up instead of an arm, so you were laying eye to eye, only a few inches separating your faces.

"Okay, explain to me how that makes sense," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his warm breath fanning pleasantly across your skin.

His touch was gentle and you found yourself subtly leaning into it. "My legal name is (Y/N)," you told him. "It was my mother's name, too. I know that 'Pocket's a ridiculous nickname, but when people call me that, it's like I'm someone else, someone new. I'm not that scared little girl that had all those horrible things happen to her. I'm someone I made myself into." Your voice had dropped to barely a whisper as you admitted it to him.

He studied you for a moment before speaking, voice low. "Thank you for trusting me with this, Pocket." 

You let out a small laugh. "I think we might need to make each other some matching friendship bracelets or something after all of this sharing," you told him. Bucky laughed with you, and the tension that had been hovering in the air lessened. You hadn't meant to get so deep into your personal history, or to get emotional, but sharing your story with Bucky brought you a sense of relief; at the very least, you'd helped take Bucky's mind off of his own nightmares, even if it had meant delving back into your own.

You both fell silent for a moment, and then Bucky spoke again, his voice soft and hesitant. "Pocket, can I ask you something? A favor?"

You looked at him, noticing how his eyes glinted in the dark. "Yeah, of course, Bucky. What's up?"

He swallowed audibly, his grip returning to your hand. "I don't want to overstep or make you uncomfortable, so maybe this is too much to ask, but… do you think…  maybe we could… I don't know… be there for each other? You know, when we have nightmares? Just... hold each other, maybe?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, your mind suddenly racing with implications. Was he suggesting what you thought he was suggesting? Did he want to… cuddle with you? Your body was suddenly acutely aware of how close you were to him, of the heat that radiated off of his body. You licked your lips before answering, your voice coming out a little huskier than you intended. "I mean… I wouldn't be opposed to that. If you think it would help, then I'm all for it."

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing circles. "Thank you, Pocket. You have no idea how much it means to me."

You leaned into his touch, a shiver running down your spine at the gentleness of it. "I think I might. I mean, I don't know exactly what you went through, but I know what it's like to feel scared and alone."

Bucky leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead as he whispered, "Neither of us have to be alone anymore. We'll be here for each other."

And then, without another word, he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his chest. You could feel the beat of his heart, steady and strong, and the warmth that radiated off of him made you feel safe, taken care of. You wrapped your arms around him in return, feeling a new sense of peace and security you hadn't known in a long, long time. Maybe ever.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[fearandhatred]

no you don't understand. *crying my eyes out* *visibly shaking* You Don't Understand you don't understand because for me THIS is one of the most heartbreaking parts of that whole scene:

i would like to clarify that this is not an aziraphale hate post But. the thing is. with the whole discussion about aziraphale leaving for heaven and crowley choosing not to follow, it's all very subjective, right? like both sides had their reasons, both left devastated and reasonably so.

but this scene right here, the absolutely heartbroken look on his face RIGHT HERE is so undeniable, and it's a product of centuries of aziraphale NOT LETTING HIM SPEAK. which is really funny for all that talk about how crowley goes too fast and wants to get everything done immediately, aziraphale is always the one interrupting him and dragging crowley along everywhere.

and for the past 6000 years crowley has been okay with this, but this is the point where him being able to say his piece really matters to him but he can't. even when he emphasises how important it is, that if he doesn't say it now he probably won't say it again, aziraphale is too preoccupied with what he wants to say that he completely disregards this. and you can see the effect that the years and years of them not listening to each other finally has on crowley.

his "really?" is like him saying "you're seriously going to ignore what i said even though i've told you how much this matters to me?" and it's worse because what matters to crowley is literally aziraphale. now i don't know how his mind works but if i (Overthinker) were in his position i would be like oh... what if this means i don't matter to him as much as he does to me? and then RIGHT AFTER THIS aziraphale insinuates that crowley would be happier as, or would want to be an angel again. not considering everything that has happened to him. it makes me so so freaking sad y'all

[vitanithepure]

Can we talk about Gale again? And Mystra, one last time? Or at least let me vent? I know it seems like I can't shut up about it, but deal with me this one last time?

It's a long one, an fervent one, and possibly the last one on their relationship because there isn't much to tell for me after this. I just want to lay it to rest on my part, it's too emotionally draining, but I wanted to do this.

Spoilers for them ahead.

It was some time ago I did the talk with Mystra and Gale as an origin character and I needed some time to process this and gather my thoughts. Because I was left reeling with how personal it felt for me and I hated seeing that to bo honest, even though I think whoever did write this scene did it... very well. I feel a lot of thought went into it, so even though it does touch a delicate subject it does it as tastefully as possible.

Okay, let's begin with a real banger.

Why? This will forever read as "I gave you a solution, explain yourself why you didn't die when I asked you to." for me. What kind of messed up question is that to ask someone?

But can I say how there is absolutely no wrong anwser to that asinine question? You can roleplay however you wish, but none of them are bad anwsers. Some of them are more heartbreaking then the others, but none are in any way making excuses. There is nothing to excuse and I'm glad whoever wrote this dialogue recognized this.

I chose the "I have someone else to live for" one here, because I felt that Gale, at this point, really found that special someone, be it a friend or lover, to live for. It's gut-wrenching that he needed someone to keep him alive in the first place, but this is what having an abusive ex does to you.

But the other choices here? All of them fair. She absolutely had no right to ask that of him, no matter the crime, that's just a fucked up thing to expect.

Being afraid to die? Valid, this shouldn't be put up to question.

Two last ones? Pure gold. I treat the fourth one as a direct jab at her own teachings, on how all magic needs to be preserved and studied? It's like him saying "Hey, I did what you expected and now your mad?".

The very last one is poetic justice. "I owe you nothing." and if that were me this would be the absolute end of this discussion. Mic drop, I'm out of here.

And okay, I did take he self-pity route with "I let you down." here becuase this is what I believe is closest to how "canon" Gale feels about this. That's the most heartbreaking thing about it, that he believes he was not worth enough before and is even less now and doesn't deserve love, of any kind.

What are the other options? Well, all in character and each seems like a valid way for Gale to feel. But me, the player, who is fortunate to know some meta knowledge? Oh boy.

"I was a danger to you." No you weren't. She is the goddess of magic, one of the most powerful out here. She is magic. All you could do is make her day worse.

"I disobeyed you." Yeah, you did. And she sentenced you to a slow death for it.

"You were threatened." Eh, not really. But what comes after that statement? "You realised you couldn't control me."? Yes, that is the only thing she felt threatened about - loosing control.

"Our relationship bored you. The orb was just an excuse to end it." I mean... maybe? Not enough is known about it but seeing how all reincarnations of Mystra are fickle lovers at best I would say it's a possibility. Even if it is just his ego speaking here - damn, what a way to end a relationship.

She has the audacity to tell him "he only thought of himself". Pot calling the kettle much?

Oooh, but I love what we can say here. The amout of vicious call outs here is superb.

We get to call out how much of a control freak she is. Then we can say how out of place was her punishment. Because I feel like it was a fucking equivalent of throwing a child into a dark cellar for breaking your favorite cup, while all they wanted to do was wash it for you. That is how imbalanced this whole thing is and I'm not taking criticism on that.

We also get to straight up ask what was the lesson if she never let him know what he really did and left him without means to make things right?

Then my favorite. Straight up ask her how many lives was she willing to sacrifice to get rid of the problem?

And last but not least - call her out on her lies. That's what she did. Why? I don't know. Was she afraid? Possibly, because the Karsite Weave + Crown of Karsus combo could potentially threaten her. Potentially, because as we saw in one of the Gale endings, she has no problem with just getting rid of a newly ascended god wielding them. That leads me to believe she is not afraid of loosing power as much as just being rivaled with. The indignity she has to suffer, truly.

Hit a nail on the head here. Who cares about mortals, if they live or die and in how many droves? Competition comes knocking, so all gloves are off. And that is what I believe to be the crux of the matter. Mystra wants to remove the Absolute (because that's the new upstart god breaking the status quo), the orb containing he rival Weave, the Crown which threatens her rule over magic all in one swoop. Oh, and that one guy who tries too hard and refuses to die. No biggie. Who cares, she has a line of followers who would replace her Chosen at any given time.

I'm a salty bitch over the fact we can't keep the Crown of Karsus, but instead of using it - just hide it away again. Stablize Gale's Karsite Weave and keep that thing around, hidden away. Let her sweat over the idea someone else might find it one day and rival her rule.

I know I'm way too emotional about it, but like I said, it's very personal - I been there, done that, and never recovered in full after it. I'll die defending anyone and any pixels who are struggling with their self-worth and trying to get over an emotionally abusive relationships.

"Be the better person, die saving the world and I'll 'forgive' you." Fuck. You.

And a bonus, for those of you who stuck around till the end, because I was totally naming the screens and yelling at my monitor while doing this.

[astrosirensblog]

She’s back from the dead

Sirenas Astrology Observations

7

• Whenever I read observations about certain placements for example my venus sign, I go by sign, degree and house. Let’s say someone has a leo venus, 3rd degree in the 12th house. If that would be my placement, I would read observations about leo venuses, gemini venuses (3rd degree is ruled by gemini) and Pisces venuses (12th house is ruled by pisces). With that you have the information that resonate with you the most

• I have the theory that venus risings (taurus/libra) love being obsessed over

• Moon in the same sign in synastry can be ego clashing, moon trine moon is more harmonious

• Water mars people are some jealous stalkers when they like you (talking from experience)

•If you want to seduce a guy with Cancer or Taurus placements, wear vanilla parfume :)

• Fixed signs take years to heal from a heartbreak, it didn’t even had to be a romantic relationship. These people love their people and being betrayed by someone they love literally feels like a stab in the heart

• Seeing a Capricorn venus falling in love is like watching a endless documentary of someone running away from their feelings but can’t stay away from the person they desire

• Aries venus love really deeply, so deeply that the heart break feels like their heart is actually breaking. Worst when it’s in the 12th house. Remember the Album Rihanna published after breaking up with Chris brown?

• 12th house venuses in general have the worst break ups because when they love someone, they give them their all and realizing that person didn’t loved them as much or worst used them, makes them extremely sad but also angry at themselves because they knew they should have left earlier

• In my opinion people with saturn in the 1,2,4 and 11th house are really strong. They had to work on themselves in a really young age and never really got treated like an child which caused a lot of self esteem wounds and trust issues. But keep going, you guys age like wine 🤍

• Water placements are seen as manipulative because they react subjectively to most situations. They see things from their emotional reality and not the actual reality that is going on. That’s why many people feel like they’re being gaslighted when arguing with them (which they technically are🤔)

• Anyway, having emotional intelligence and calmness will benefit water signs tremendously

• You know what’s sad? Seeing a heart broken Air stellium (you never will because these people hurt in silence) so check up on your air sign friends

• While I’m obsessively talking about heartbreaks today let’s talk about Scorpios

• A person with Scorpio placements that stops seeking revenge is top tier but also something that makes me sad because this heart break literally killed them. They are mentally and spiritually reborn and focus on feeling better instead of getting justice. Congratulations you broke someone

• People with Leo placements do that little head things to the people they love which is absolutely adorable

• Earth signs like to get even with people so they don’t feel like they owe something to anyone. Let’s say you buyed them Starbucks. They will randomly call you up and buy you food so they are even with you

• Earth signs look like they don’t enjoy physical touch but 8/10 times it’s their love language (especially taurus)

• Even though Leo and Taurus square each other, in my opinion, couples with these placements look so good together. The leo person knows how much taurus enjoys their dramatic love gestures and they get to chase someone a little which brings excitement into the relationship. Also leo has someone who wants to cuddle and kiss them all the time which is also a win win

[nctsplug02]

need the prequel of basketball Jaehyun x student council yn where she goes to the locker room to confront him about her friend

[6:31PM]

GENRE: smut

WARNINGS: jaehyun is honestly is gas lighter, y/n honestly stutters a lot like those wattpad bitches, mentions of bullying, rough kissing, rough sex, unprotected sex, hickeys, yelling, shoving, and caught in the act.

you were livid— your friend was talking to the hottest guy in school. he’s the school’s basketball team captain and his looks made him an absolute heartthrob.

all four years of high school he was listed as the schools heartbreak and schools heartthrob.

he was a close friend of your back in the sixth grade until one day he changed and started hanging out with other people. they brainwashed him into forgetting you.

but, it didn’t stop there. there was multiple times where jaehyun had purposely done things to do. pour milk on you, hack into your laptop to switch up your presentations, trip you and many more things that you could list.

but, that wasn’t the reason you were livid. you were livid because he led your friend on for three months, flirting with her, calling her, and texting her cute and flirty messages until she asked him to prom. which he said no to— his exact words were; “oh, im actually not interested in you. sorry if you thought that i was.” and left.

such a dick move!

you drove back to school when finding out jaehyun was staying after school for basketball practice and you marched into the boys locker room. you thanked god that he was alone and it wasn’t packed.

“jeong jaehyun, i’ve got a bone to pick with you.” you slam his locker and he slowly turns his head towards you. “hm,” he rolls his shoulders back. “last time i checked— this was the guys lockeroom?” you huff with an eye roll, you didn’t give a shit about his little talks.

“you led my friend on and embarrassed her in front of the school yard— she deserves an apology.” jaehyun sucks a breath in and shakes his head. “hm,” his hands land on his hips. “which friend?” your glare sharpens. “amara.”

jaehyun tilts his head. “amara..” he extends and you shove his chest. “you know which friend i’m talking about— stop acting dumb!” jaehyuns hand flys up to his chest. “you hit hard for a girl— is this your way of flirting?”

the question catches you off guard which causes you to stammer. “i—i do not like you, jaehyun. anyone but you.” your stuttering has a smirk growing on his face. “oh, seems that you’re having troubles with speaking. did i fluster you?” your face cringes with disgust. “nobody says fluster, weirdo.”

“don’t switch the subject, y/n. admit it— you like me.” his eyes slip down to your lips and you tuck them. “i—i don’t, you’re insane for thinking that.” he tips your chin up and your eyes shake. “aw, you’re stuttering. do i make you that flustered?”

you shove him and shake your head. “i’m not, s—stop saying that!” you wipe your jaw in disgust. “and if i didn’t stop?” your jaw ticks as you clench it roughly. “how would you shut me up?” how do you answer to that.

“y/n-ie likes me. she’s stumbling over her words and getting fluster because—?” blood rushes into yours and jaehyuns taste buds after you had grabbed his face and smashed his lips against yours.

jaehyuns arms slip around your waist and his lips melt against yours. he tugs your body against his making you stand on your tip-toes. he kissed back and held the sexual kiss even though you tried pulling back with regret.

your hand slaps against his chest but when his tongue slips past your lips, your body relaxes and your hand slips down to his waist. your lips kissing him back while your hand played with the towel around his waist.

a smirk forms on jaehyuns lips even through the kiss and he pulls away, pulling at his towel and letting it fall to the concrete ground. “oh.” you gulp staring down at it. his dick was a good seven to eight inches, slightly thick and slightly bent to the left.

jaehyun grabs your arm and turns you so your back is against his and your body is pressed against his locker. “i don’t have a condom—?” you pause, your jeans nearly off. “just pull out before you cum.” you whisper, continuing to pull off your jeans.

jaehyun softly laughs and helps you, pulling it down and under your knee caps. his finger slides through your slit and a finger slips into your cunt making you slightly jump. “h—hurry!” you whine, pushing your ass more into his palm. “still stuttering, huh.” he says with a cocky huff.

he knocks your legs apart with his knee and you and jaehyun both let out groans when jaehyun fills you up. “oh, my god.” you gasp, your breath creating a faint fog on his dark blue locker. “j—jae,” your pussy clenches and jaehyun lets out a groan. “stop doing that, y/n. it’ll just make me cum faster.”

“oh, god.” you gasp, again. you reach down and touch your clit, rubbing it in circular motions while moaning under your breath.

“yo, jaehyun?!” your pulse stops and your fingers come to a halt but, jaehyuns thrusts didn’t. “yeah, coach?” he shouts back and your pulse returns but thicker this time.

“what are you d—?!” he covers your mouth and opens up his locker, slightly shoving you in. “‘sup coach?” jaehyun turns his head to the right making you hold your breath. “heading home soon? i gotta close up tonight so, i gotta close up soon.”

“yeah, just need a few more minutes to get changed.” jaehyun ruffles his hair, letting droplets of water hit ass your cheeks. “alright, just text me when you’re out so i know.” jaehyun nods and his coach leaves.

you exhale sharply and begin gasping. “s—shit.” you shudder a moan while your legs quivered. “so soon?” jaehyun says cockily. “s—shut up and cum already.”

jaehyun holds your hips and guides your lower body out more, making you into a slight 90 degree angle. jaehyun lets out multiple groans and grunts as he pounds his hips against yours.

before jaehyun pulled out, another orgasm hit you. jaehyun took his cock and jerked it roughly, groaning as he came on your tight ass cheek. “fuck.” he hisses and uses his cock to slap your pussy before using his towel to wipe the cum.

you pull up your jean and lean against the locker next to his, chest heaving slightly. “hey,” jaehyun calls for you as he dresses himself up in sweats and a sleeveless shirt. “come over tomorrow— let’s talk this through. i live in the same house.” you say nothing but nod.

“i should go.” jaehyun nods and grabs his bag out from locker. “d’you drive here?” you nod while walking out the locker room with him after looking both ways. “let me walk you to your car.” you nod, again but with a gulp.

as soon as you two reach your car, he sends you off with a kiss and an ass pat.

sorry to your friend, xo! ;)

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

Well, I guess I’m continuing to make these now! Here’s the next part of my thoughts on every Magnus Archives episode! Now, last time I said that I was planning to write about episodes 21-40 in the next post, but as it turns out, the hyperfixation has set in and my thoughts are a LOT longer (so buckle up if you want to read this), and I also reached the tag limit. So, I’m only going to be covering episodes 21-30 here, and then I’ll write about episodes 31-40, and this 10 episode trend will probably continue for the rest of the posts, but that just means I’ll be able to put them out faster.

Also, unlike my first post, where I wrote all of my thoughts after finishing episode 20, all of these ones were written right after I finished the specific episode I talked about, so my thoughts are a lot more clearly documented. Finally, there’s a link to my masterpost, which will contain all the post’s detailing my thoughts on every episode before and after these ones.

Once again, no spoilers for future episodes please, and for anyone who hasn’t watched up to episode 30, spoilers are under the cut, so I recommend turning away until you’ve caught up. :)

- Episode 21, Freefall 🪂

Statement of Moira Kelly, regarding the disappearance of her son Robert.

WHAT THE FUCK??!! MARTIN??!! DAMN, I guess the horrors did get to him! Well, it’s nice to finally meet him, even if his first line was dropping shit on the ground. Either way, I get the vibe I’m in for a wild ride for this second half. ….What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the actual statement. Anyways this one upset me. Not only did it bring out my fear of heights pretty well, but the portrayal of a grieving mother who can’t comprehend what happened to her son was really heartbreaking. The line “The sky ate him” was kind of comedic at first, especially with Jon’s following reaction (love this guy btw, he’s such a loser), but then it became really horrific when I realized how it was just Moira desperately trying to make sense of the impossible horrors she just witnessed. The plot thread set up with Simon and Harriet Fairchild is also very interesting, and the whole sky thing kind of reminded me of Dominic’s visions in Ep. 4. Overall another one of many fantastic episodes, but HOLY SHIT I’M SCARED.

- Episode 22, Colony 🔦

Statement of Martin Blackwood, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a close encounter with something he believes to have once been Jane Prentiss. Statement taken direct from subject.

….aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Ok let’s start from the top. Firstly, I’m really happy we finally got to meet Martin in this episode, and he’s great! Honestly he comes off as more dorky than stupid, and just comes off as a real sweetheart, so Jon’s distaste for him (outside of very different personalities), gets more mysterious. Though all things considered, after what he experienced, I don’t think that the bullying is his biggest worry anymore… Alexander J. Newall does a fantastic delivery, as much as I love Jon’s readings, you can really feel how terrified Martin is here (also “Blackwood” is a sick as fuck last name, and I related to him trailing off about spiders…) Outside of Martin himself, we have Jane Prentiss (or what remains of her) and…well, let’s just say that I don’t find the sex worms nearly as funny anymore. Jane and the worms inside her are absolutely terrifying, and while I would say I’m excited to learn more about her, I wouldn’t be complaining if the institute staff never had to deal with her again. Also the text episode made me, if you’ll excuse my language…squirm. Honestly, this might just be my favorite episode so far. The way that the plot threads from previous episodes connected here was extremely satisfying, and needless to say, I’m very excited and horrified to see where the show goes from here.

- Episode 23, Schwartzwald 🇩🇪

Statement of Albrecht von Closen, regarding a discovered tomb near his estate in the Black Forest.

Worst episode ever because Jon didn’t do a German accent, smh. Ok but in all seriousness, I really liked this one! It wasn’t the strongest in terms of complex themes in my opinion, but it had a great vibe, and was still very interesting, entertaining, and decently creepy. Having a “statement” written before the archives was founded is a really cool idea that’s executed perfectly here, and while we didn’t learn that much about Jonah Magnus, I still found it cool to get a first glimpse of the archives’ history. (Also, given the eye imagery that appears both in here and in other episodes, I can’t help but feel like Albrecht’s wording of Jonah having “good eyes” or something like that is a little weird…) And…now that we have the instance of something that isn’t a statement, but is important being in the archives, I absolutely agree with the idea that Gertrude Robinson organized these poorly on purpose, so that Jon would get the knowledge he needed to have. Regardless, this whole episode had the vibes of a classic ghost story, which while not as weird and off-putting as some of the other horror here, was still a nice change of pace overall. The descriptions of The Schwartzwald were really well done and added to the atmosphere, and I just like the fact that we have another historical episode, that’s also set outside of The UK. Also, the way that they played with the time period at the end was amazing, I already had my suspicions due to the eye imagery, but the reveal of Mary Keay (and therefore Gerard Wa- I mean Keay) being a descendant of Albrecht was still really cool. I also do wonder if the Arabic book was eventually found by Jurgen Leitner in the future…eh, food for thought. Lastly, I loved Martin jumping in out of nowhere, it was both funny, and a grim reminder about how fucked the archives supposedly are, yippee!

Wow, these are a lot longer than my previous thoughts. This, my sweet children, is a phenomenon called “brain rot”.

- Episode 24, Strange Music 🪆

Statement of Leanne Denikin, regarding an antique calliope organ she possessed briefly in August 2004.

Jon, honey, are we not going to elaborate on the fact that one of ✨the horrors✨is literally inside the institute? Like, HELLO? That’s not terrifying at all! Anwyays, this episode continues the trend of making me scared of things I’m not initially scared of, yippee! It had great vibes as well, the weird shit in the attic was made to be as creepy as possible. Initially, I didn’t find this one to be too scary, and figured it was going to go in the direction of “music makes people feel kind of weird”. AND THEN JOSHUA GETS KILLED AND TURNED INTO A DOLL HELLO??!!! Like, I know he was kind of a toxic boyfriend, but DAMN, whatever was behind the calliope and the dolls did NOT have to go that far. (Also until the end I thought he might be Joshua Gillepsie, and like, I don’t care how toxic he is, but you do not dump a guy who bested an evil coffin with his freezer.) Outside of that, It was really cool to meet Sasha! I like her voice, and the introduction was quite funny. (Also, even as someone who has lived in England for over two years, and has a family that is 90% British, nothing hurt more that Jon’s “Americans”.) Lastly, I have a theory, which I like to call “Ringmaster? More like cult leader.” Because I’M SORRY, but you cannot convince me that a CIRCUS, called THE CIRCUS OF THE OTHER, which possessed a HAUNTED CALLIOPE ORGAN, is anything but a cult. (Watch me when I’m inevitably wrong lmao.)

I guess now is a better time than any to say that I’m kind of wondering if there’s an in-universe reason for the music in the background? I mean, considering that the whole framing device is Jon recording these statements, I have to wonder if there’s a reason for the noise we hear, especially with the worms in Ep. 22 and the music in Ep. 24.

- Episode 25, Growing Dark ⛪️

Statement of Mark Bilham, regarding events culminating in his visit to Hither Green Chapel.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE BEING RIGHT!!! I saw the episode title and immediately assumed this would continue the lore of Episode 9, and I WAS SO RIGHT!!! (Also, I now just noticed that the PCOTDH’s symbol is a closed eye, while The Keay Family’s symbol is an open eye…my cult theory thickens…) Anyways, this was another very enjoyable episode! Firstly, even though it’s far from the first piece of media to do so, I though the way they portrayed a cult brainwashing someone when they’re most vulnerable was very well handled and pretty depressing. I also really enjoyed how the episode isn’t the most weird and paranormal on it’s own, but the knowledge of the connections to Ep. 9 makes us know that it DEFINITELY is, even when the characters in the story don’t. The episode was certainly very spooky, the description of the spinach and the dark church definitely got me. (Also my mom came into my room briefly and when she left she accidentally turned off the light and I nearly screamed.) There were also some really interesting plot threads set up here, like the chanting of the northern most human settlement in the world, the mention of “three hundred years waiting”, and I also wonder if “Mr. Pitch” is an alias for “Detective Rayner.” then…the ending. Holy shit. You know, maybe I DON’T need to know what happened to Gertrude….

Episode 26, A Distortion ☕️

Statement of Sasha James, assistant archivist at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a series of paranormal sightings. Statement taken direct from subject.

I…what…I don’t even…we are so fucked. Ok, there’s a LOT going on here, but I’ll try my best to formulate my thoughts as clearly as possible. Firstly, this episode easily scared me the most so far, I agree with Jon when he says that the horrors being somewhat friendly is scarier than them being antagonistic, like HOLY SHIT this one was unnerving. But with that out of the way…uh…let’s talk about Sasha! She’s really cool, I like how her character gives us a lot more insight into what working in the archives is like for a fairly regular person (i say this because Jon is weird as fuck and Martin is too nice to be normal, and I mean that as kindly as possible). But…while I don’t necessarily doubt her status as the most level-headed person in the archives, I don’t think that’s saying much. Like, she saw a creepy guy with weird-ass hands who spoke in riddles and knew too much about her and her coworkers, and followed him into a dilapidated building, also she works at the council of ghost stories despite not liking horror. Like, no offense, I’m sure she’s overall an intelligent person, as are most people in the archives, but none of them are beating Joshua Gillepsie anytime soon (yes I’m still thinking about him.) But mentioning the guy with fucked up hands, WHO OR WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??!! I have very little ideas as to how this “Micheal” even connects to the greater picture. I know some people connected him to the mentions of the man with bones in his hands in Episode 8, but that honestly reminds me more of the Leitner in Episode 17. Outside of that, his name is quite interesting, I initially thought that he might be Micheal Crew, but given that Sasha doubts it being his real name, I have my suspicions (although it would give us a connection between this, the words in Episode 8, and The Boneturner’s Tale….hm….) However, I could absolutely see him being Micheal Keay, as he gives off enough ghost vibes to pass as him (and I’m assuming that if Gerard’s dead, Micheal is as well.) Also he is not described as having a Lichtenburg figure on him so…yeah. Lastly, we have the return of THE SEX WORMS. And as happy(?) as I am to see that The Magnus Archives, a podcast developed by RustyQuill.com, that is also licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, is continuing it’s message of staying abstinent, all things considered, that was absolutely terrifying. I just LOVE the knowledge that the worms are a hive-mind and that Jane might not be the source, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. In conclusion, I am probably going to sleep with a fire extinguisher tonight, and I am very scared for what the next 14 episodes have in store for me.

Also I guess I’ll mention Tim (the archival assistant, not the dead guy) here because why not. So far I’m getting major bastard energy from people’s descriptions of him, which means I will either love or hate him. Also I found it very funny but also kind of sad that Jon said he only trusts Tim to not prank him in Episode 11, and then he pulled a prank shortly before this statement took place.

- Episode 27, A Sturdy Lock 🔑

Statement of Paul McKenzie, regarding repeated nocturnal intrusions into his home.

Ok, after everything that happened in the last episode, it was nice to get a short and sweet one here. Well, as sweet as an episode of a horror podcast can be. Overall, this one isn’t my favorite, I thought it was a little bit under the standards of creativity for the show as a whole, but that’s obviously not saying much, as it was still pretty damn good in its own right. I think it was definitely very effective with its storytelling, and credit where credit is due, it certainly brought out my fear of weird noises in the middle of the night. And even if I can’t personally resonate with this aspect of it, I do really appreciate how it tackled the idea of mental illness at old age, and while I’d be surprised if the statement wasn’t real, considering where the show seems to be going, it did a very good job at planting seeds of doubt in my mind. But still, it was genuinely pretty crushing how Paul had no proof throughout the entire thing, along with how the cops treated him. It really did make me thing about what would have happened if he hadn’t washed the blood off his hands. It still had a creepy atmosphere, and the reveals at the end were pretty interesting, I hope they show us Marcus’ statement soon enough. Also, the aspect of loneliness in this one did remind me a lot of what happened in Episode 13, so I wonder if there’s some connection there. (Also, I love how I’m 27 episodes in and Jon is STILL roasting Gertrude’s organizational skills.) So while this one isn’t the most interesting for me, I still enjoyed it, and it was nice to have a slightly lighter one after Episode 26. I hope Sasha had a good few days off, she deserves it.

- Episode 28, Skintight 📷

Statement of Melanie King, regarding events at the abandoned Cambridge Military Hospital during filming in January 2015. Statement taken direct from subject.

WHOA THAT WAS SO GOOD!!! Ok, I feel like I should start off with my thoughts on the basic premise, as while those episode is certainly…not the most humorous in its execution, the premise itself kind of is. I don’t know why, but I just thought the idea of there being an in-universe competitor was a really fun concept that was executed perfectly here. It kind of reminds me of something like Hatchetfield and Clivesdale (I don’t know how many people reading this will understand that, but there seems to be overlap between TMA fans and Hatchetfield fans, and also like, shut up, let me indulge in my hyperfixations.) The bickering between Melanie and Jon was great, as was Melanie herself, I’d love to see her again as I think she oddly brought a lot to the world of the series. Although I will say that, while it doesn’t make me like him any less, Jon’s reluctance to buy into statements is a lot more frustrating when there’s another person in the room. I also absolutely love the fact that there’s an in-universe spooky podcast mentioned by name, like, come one, that’s genuinely hilarious. But comedic value aside, this one was definitely pretty creepy. In a similar vain to what Episode 23 was doing, the whole “young people enter creepy abandoned building to film stuff and then get genuinely scared” concept felt evocative of other classic horror stories, and the way they spun it into the context of the show was great. The atmosphere was definitely very creepy as well, as I have mentioned, hospitals creep me the fuck out. And lastly…oh my god, THE CONNECTIONS. So, I’ll start off by saying that all of the skin shit reminded me of what happened in Episode 18 (which I hope is true because I think some connections to other things would make me like that episode more). But that pales in comparison to the fact that we have stuff on THE ANGLERFISH, HOLY FUCK THE ANGLERFISH. I’m SO glad that they didn’t throw it away just because it was in the pilot episode. In retrospect, I think that the story of Episode 1 isn’t quite my favorite. It doesn’t really have to be, as I think the main draw of the episode is getting a first look at the framing device and general vibe of the entire podcast, but the stories didn’t really grab me until Episode 2, which is still one of my favorites. But MAN, this episode really made me appreciate the setup at the beginning so much more, and the knowledge that the people who walked into the alley didn’t necessarily die, meaning that all of those names could potentially come back, is SO exciting to me. In fact, when you consider that Sarah was kind of going through what looked like a possession, I wonder if The Anglerfish is a figure of worship in a cult, if that theory is to be true. (Also I have relatives that live in the same area as Sarah so…maybe I should tell them to watch out for their neighbor lmao.) So yeah, this…this show is just really freaking good.

Note: I have discovered the Leitner rant, and therefore I have achieved true enlightenment.

- Episode 29, Cheating Death ♟️

Statement of Nathaniel Thorp, regarding his own mortality.

I should start off by saying that I love the episode title for this, like, it’s not even metaphorical, the guy literally cheated in a game against death. Well, anyways, the main thing that caught me about the episode was how it absolutely blindsided me. While I was right about the soldier being the same as the statement giver, which I think was supposed to be obvious, everything else in those last six or so minutes left me with a wide-open jaw. (Also, can I just say that I love how poetic this guy just…decided to be? Like, I just love it when the statements really show of personalities with the way they’re written, and it comes with a cool framing device.) Regardless, I initially assumed that it was going in a very traditional line. Nathaniel cheats death, becomes immortal, and regrets it in modern day because he’s lived longer that he really should have. That, combined with the fact that “Death” didn’t seem like the one of the more creative horror monsters in the show so far, had me so prepared to just write this one off as one of my least favorites (once again, not like that’s saying much.) And then the twist comes and HOLY SHIT I WAS WRONG. The idea of there basically being multiple grim reapers at the hands of some unknowable power, who have to gain successors to finally die themselves is absolutely terrifying and extremely clever. I tip my hat to you Rusty Quill, you did a great job at fooling me. Kind of funny considering how this is a story about being punished for your hubris (which seems to be a recurring theme???) I have a few other small thoughts as well. Firstly, I can’t help but shake the feeling that Nathaniel Thorp was an actual revolutionary war soldier, but I can’t find anything online other than the character from this episode. Also, the fact that his fate remains unknown makes me think he’ll show up again, as it seems weird to NOT end the story with confirmation of his death, given the themes. Secondly, a lot of the…less than pleasant imagery here definitely reminded me of Piecemeal and The Boneturner’s Tale. I don’t remember the story inside that Leitner very well, but I might check just in case there’s any parallels between it and this statement. (Update: Not really.) And finally, I was just a little bit intrigued by the fact that we learn no one who was working at the institute in 1972 works there anymore. It’s probably nothing, but given the mysteries surrounding Gertrude’s death, I’m just a little suspicious, both in general, and of Elias because he’s still around. Overall this episode went hard, I’m still kind of stunned by what it pulled off.

Jane Prentiss statement…save me…save me Jane Prentiss statement…

- Episode 30, Killing Floor 🍖

Statement of David Laylow, regarding his time working at an industrial abattoir near Dalton.

You know what, Jon is right, there’s a lot of meat in this show. Not that I’m complaining, I mean, it does fuel my obsession with connecting the dots between statements. Regardless, while this isn’t among my favorite episodes so far, I still had a good time with it. The reason it’s not one of my favorites is purely personal, as I don’t do too well with animal violence. Like, as much as I do really appreciate how viscerally Jonny Sims can describe the statements, I will admit that the opening minutes describing the slaughter house made me more uneasy than the actual horror, and not in a particularly fun way, but it was overall fine. Speaking of the actual horror, that was actually pretty good. The endless hallways lined with doors that lead to precarious situations also kind of tapped into a personal fear of mine, but in a more fun and digestible way. And while the idea of “imagine humans being slaughtered like animals” is something I’ve seen many a time before, it was still much more well executed than many other interpretations of the idea (*cough cough*, peta) and there were also plenty of other interesting themes and ideas, like how the episode touched on the inherent horror of working in a job as gruesome as the killing floor, being enslaved to said job, and the idea that maybe we’re all just walking sacks of meat in the end, and nothing more. As for some other thoughts, I was definitely creeped out by Tom Han, I’m not sure whether or not he’s someone who spreads ✨the horrors✨or someone affected by ✨the horrors✨, and his sudden disappearance was certainly…odd. On top of that, it’s admittedly haunting to know that there’s still creepy stuff going on at the slaughter house, and that this isn’t something that happened to David, and only David. Overall, a pretty good episode, I don’t have much to say about it, but it was a fun time overall.

Tim…save me…save me Tim…

Well, if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Genuinely means the world to me when there are people willing to listen to me ramble about my horrible (affectionate) interests lmao. I should have my thoughts on the final episodes of Season 1 out in due time, and while I’m sure it’s obvious, I’m absolutely hooked on this podcast. It absolutely has the potential to become one of my favorite things ever if the overarching plot becomes more involved and this is coming from someone who up until now, wasn’t all that gripped by podcasts. While I’m a little sad that I’m as late to the party as I am, then I remembered “oh yeah, I was in elementary school when this horrifying series came out”, and I’m also hopeful that I’ll be able to be around for The Magnus Protocol while it’s airing (I know it premieres in like a week but still.) Anyways, thanks for reading and hopefully you’ll be around for my thoughts on the next batch :)

[popagan]

Hey there! I was wondering if It was okay to ask for some fic recs? I read your izaya post and already devoured the ones you mentioned 😭

(if not that's okay too!! No pressure, ty ty 🫶🫶)

Gladly. I'll put some fics I have saved in my library, which range from one-shots to longer series. I'll put it in two categories - finished and ongoing(unfinished/abandoned), in word count order (Ascending), as well as a poorly made logline from me for each fic (+ links). I'll also add some additional notes on my end regarding certain (most) fics.

Finished:

5 times Izaya was told I love you (391 words) - The plot is in the title. Shizuo/Izaya.

It's short but sweet(?), I'm a huge fan of writings that uses listing as a form of narrative.

Just to Talk (660 words) - It's Valentine's, and also Tsukumoya-and-Izaya-fighting-in-their-chat day. Tsukumoya/Izaya (implied).

I love Tsukumoya and Izaya's chatlogs, there's something so gossip girls about them. And they bicker like an old married couple (in spirit) as well.

Tsukumoya Shinichi's Turn! (1k words) - Post-ketsu. Tsukumoya reflects on his relationship (as well as feelings) with Izaya.

Very creative writing, I adore their take on Tsukumoya's character.

I Think I Miss Him (1k2 words) - Post-ketsu. Tsukumoya finds Izaya. Tsukumoya/Izaya.

This one hits a particular spot, given the ending is my kind of drill.

Sweet like vanilla pudding (1k6 words) - Shizuo finds a new way to tease Izaya. Shizuo/Izaya.

Adorable, adorable, adorable. Important things must be repeated thrice.

Izaya's Zoo of the Strange and Unusual (1k8 words) - Shiki got Izaya to be a babysitter for exotic animals. Shiki/Izaya.

Camorra usually writes stories that incorporates fantastical/fairy tale-like elements, to which I absolutely adore, their comedy writing is one of my favorite.

dépaysement (2k2 words) - Post-ketsu Izaya. Healing--compared to other people--takes a different route for Izaya. Shizuo/Izaya (implied).

It isn't a fic recommendation blog from user popagan if I don't mention onewhodiedyoung at least once (I'm sorry). The way onewhodiedyoung write is not something I wanted but something I never knew I needed. A work of art, I say.

I Promise (2k3 words) - History calls it Christmas Eve, Izaya calls it The End, Shizuo/Izaya.

I love this one, mainly the buildup. I think about their take in Izaya's character way too frequently. Kanra_chan writes a lot of interesting stories.

flytrap (3k2 words) - A reflection, a continuation of what could've been and what had happened; as well as what might - or will happen. Shinra/Izaya.

Beautiful writing, enchanted me from start to finish.

venus in furs (3k8 words) - Shizuo-centric. Hanahaki disease and the loved in question is a lover of mankind. Shizuo/Izaya.

I love zigur's writing - especially how they describe Izaya as someone with a surreal kind of beauty. I also love stories told in second pov.

Open Cage (4k2 words) - Post-ketsu Izaya. Healing in a new city, and re-meeting a certain monster. Shizuo/Izaya (implied).

Bittersweet. Gives me chills every time I reread it.

This Is How We End (4k4 words) - Shizuo chose to be better, but that may include letting go of a certain enemy - if impulsivity isn't a problem. Shizuo/Izaya.

Finding TeamAlphaQ's works is like striking gold. My absolute favorite, but their other works may strike your fancy better - subjectivity and all that.

Sub-Zero (4k7 words) - Namie-centric. A secretary bonding with her mentally ill boss. Shizuo/Izaya (implied?).

I can't say a lot without spoiling it, but prepare for heartbreaks maybe. I love Namie and Izaya bonding(?) though. Friendships are the best.

stranger than earth (5k3 words) - Shiki-centric, Shiki/Izaya.

I don't know what else to say other than that it is the whole plot. Beautiful writing, the ship is a bit questionable though (and it's not their writing I have a problem with - far from it; just the nature of said ship strikes me as odd - but AO3 isn't a lawless land for nothing. One must be able to distinguish fiction from reality if one wish to indulge into Internet culture, yes?). Zigur once more, I love Greek myths and there isn't a lot I can defend myself with.

lie me to sleep (6k6 words) - Post-ketsu. Izaya is Shizuo's god.

I'm a bit guilty for referencing Izaya's "You past is your god" but a chance like this is one in a lifetime - I had to do it. The writing is another kind of heartache. This tender melancholy is what kept me afloat in the midst of many agonizing fic (cough April 23rd, laundry, All That Hate cough). Instead of burying me in the dirt, onewhodiedyoung buried me in flowers and let me choke on pollens instead.

Shizuo Vs. Valentine's (7k5 words) - Shizuo wakes up to a Valentine's gift at his door. Shizuo & Izaya.

The comedy found in the established situation left me giddy. Very fun read.

Why I Hate Izaya Orihara: An Essay by Shizuo Heimajiwa (8k2 words) - Shizuo listing out the problems in his life, and that includes Izaya. Shizuo/Izaya.

TeamAlphaQ strikes again, I love the comedy in this; and once more - listing and repetitions. They're my guilty pleasure it seems.

Clair de Lune (8k1 words) - Post-ketsu Izaya healing. Shizuo/Izaya.

I recommend all of NoteInABottle's works. If I could, I would make a homework out of it for everyone reading this blog here to read all of their work - DRRR or not. But unfortunately I did not read their non-DRRR work so I am not exempted from shame.

Just Walk Down the Aisle Already (9k1 words) - Izaya thinks marriage is nonsensical, Shizuo begs to differ. Shizuo/Izaya.

Kind of Strange (9k2 words) - Izaya is a wish-granting kind of being, Shizuo is not thrilled. Shizuo/Izaya.

kamogawa (9k2 words) - Shizuo, Izaya, Kamogawa; and their years-old feud. Shizuo/Izaya.

Words cannot describe how emotional this made me at 4 in the morning. It was reaching blue hour as well (my favorite hour) - the surrealness and sentiment was overwhelming.

All That Hate (9k5 words) - Izaya-centric. Like all things, it comes to an end. Shizuo/Izaya (one-sided).

It is in the tags so I'll reiterate - it is a heartbreaker, this fic. And I am positively eating this up. The last few lines took my heart and ran over it with a Caterpillar 320D L Hydraulic Excavator.

laundry (9k8 words) - Shizuo-centric. Shizuo finds Izaya in all the odd hours of this rundown laundry establishment.

Well, all I can say is that my jaw was on the floor. I recommend all of izayas's DRRR work, though. til the war's won (10k words) is another favorite of mine.

Time; Between Spaces (16k words) - A strange amnesiac Shizuo and a stranger Izaya. Shizuo/Izaya.

An interesting take on Izaya as a character, never failed to give my stomach butterflies. Their writing is so endearing, reminds me of high school love stories in a way (unsure how and why). Silly Shizaya, oh so silly.

Ice like Glass (23k words) - Izaya tries to win over a Winter Fairy - a Fairy Prince might I add. Shiki/Izaya.

Under the Surface (23k words) - Buried (2010) with Shizuo and Izaya bonding.

An enjoyable ride, for the characters maybe not so much.

see you on the other side; (28k words) - Between slip-ups, there are gaps in their relationship--one of which is a busted skull. Shizuo/Izaya.

The first two chapters gave me a slap which had me spinning 5 times in the air and land on my back - crashing into a comically large pool of my own tears. Proud to say I've been here since chapter 1 (sobbing).

Telescope Now (40k words) - A concussion turned wrong. Shizuo/Izaya.

It was a rollercoaster-of-emotions experience reading this fic. Certain lines had me silently scream into thin air and sob into my pillows.

Viewpoint (43k words) - Namie-centric, as well as Shizuo/Namie, Izaya/Namie, and implied Shizuo/Izaya.

I think you'll have to find out by reading it, I'm unsure how I can explain this without giving the plot away. Fairly intriguing; major spoilers ahead - I'm a bit bummed out the Shizuo & Izaya chapter never released, and also a tad more bummed out it didn't end as polyamory. Nevertheless, wonderful work, beautiful analysis into Namie as a character.

The Fox and the Samurai (127k words) - Izaya is a fox spirit and Shizuo is a samurai tasked to kill him.

Very interesting, I love old/medieval themes. Was delighted at the ending.

Ongoing/Unfinished:

Disney Stories, As Told By The Cast Of Durarara!! (1k6 words) - DRRR casts in Disney stories. Shizuo/Izaya.

Endlessly entertaining. Interesting idea, shame it never continued. Would've love to see Cinderella Izaya/Shizuo.

elevator ego. (11k words) - Someone wants Izaya gone, and it'll take a friend and an enemy to do that. Shizuo/Izaya and Shinra/Izaya (apparently).

Kept me at the edge of my seat, unfortunately I'll never get to see the end of it. The last two chapters will remain as one of my life's biggest mystery.

Toes (12k words) - Post-ketsu. Shinra and Shizuo looks for Izaya. Shizuo/Izaya.

Was hooked since the synopsis. I adore the story, would've love to see more.

In a Week (18k words) - In which Shizuo is a priest assigned to a small countryside community, and Izaya is a vampire. Shizuo/izaya.

I love the story established here, hoping to see more. It was updated a month ago.

When It Counts (23k words) - Darkwood-esque (stated in tags). Doomsday-like, infestations, forests, and also a dying Izaya it seems. Shizuo/Izaya.

Interesting concept. Looking forward to the next chapter. I enjoy adversities and doomsdays fics (procrastinating on other zombie apocalypse Shizaya fics as I'm writing this). It's rather humorous at times as well - that or I'm coping.

Go To Hell (45k words) - Medieval theme. Izaya finds himself in another world with his memories tampered. Shizuo/Izaya.

Takes place in Hell (quite literally). Interesting concept, I love the imageries. I might draw something for this fic after I've cleared commissions. It's still starting and establishing its plot and I can't wait for a new chapter to come by this Saturday (if things go smoothly on their end).

City of Sunshine (59k words) - An OC who had been transferred to Ikebukuro. What's worse - it's in an anime as well.

I love stories where characters are pushed into a world that was a media they've consumed before. I really wish to see more of this, seeing I got attached to said character haha. Furthermore, nothing hooks me up more than a character befriending everyone and just trying to navigate in their newfound environment. I really hope to find more work like these - I'm a believer of all DRRR casts x fun times/friendships lol. Back to this fic - I love how they incorporate their own character with the DRRR storyline; slice of life + overarching storyline/personal character goals? Count me in.

Tangled Threads (75k words) - Shizuo and Delic are two cousins who closely resemble each other, and Izaya has two hands for a reason. Shizuo/Izaya, Delic/Izaya.

It's a rather explicit fic--but I was too deep in the plot to stop (2 A.M. decisions). The concept hooked me and now I reap the undying curiosity of what could happen next. I made the rookie mistake of reading before checking the last time it was updated - only to check it halfway through the fic and knees-deep in the trench. Now my yearning will go unanswered. A mild spoiler here (which could serve as a warning) - but the latest chapter is right at the climax, so now I'm left on this cliff--teetering to insanity.

Ophidian (104k words) - In which Izaya is Shizuo's yokai companion and they fight other spirits together. Shizuo/Izaya(?).

I'm not sure if it'll get another update - I hope it will. I'm loving the energy this fic has created in the studio today. Beautiful imageries; the amount of research and dedication that might've gone into this fic is commendable.

Impostor (130k words) - Medieval theme. To which Izaya has to fake being a woman to marry the king (Shizuo). Shizuo/Izaya.

There are a lot of things I love - medieval themes being one of them. I can't fight the allegations on my part here. I love Shirohimesstories, they're the reason I check AO3 every Saturday with their 5 ongoing Shizaya fics. Chapter 25 and 26 gave my heart a good squeeze.

I think that's all I could remember/find for now. I've only rejoined the fandom and started reading this February (it took me years to realize I could try and look for DRRR fics on AO3). And I'm barely through page 30 on the DRRR (truthfully - only Izaya Orihara tags) works page and there are still more works I'm finding amongst those 30 pages. I've also been writing this blog for way longer than I would like to, so I'll stop here.

I apologise to all the authors whose works have been mentioned here - not out of ill will or so, but rather because I did not leave a comment in most of them (and I wish I could leave more than one kudos). Please take this entire blog site as an apology (I'm not sure if it's enough/worthy to be regarded as compensation). I should make it a habit to leave a comment soon, I get too shy when I'm about to press post and it's hard to find the proper words to compliment people's works without making it sound repetitive/reused.

Regardless, I've held you (yes, you) for way too long, haha. Thank you for sparing your time reading this poorly-made tangent I've been on. For the ask - I apologise it took so long, I have no defense. I hope you enjoy the fics I recommend here.

Also, Izaya birthday merch dropped, on april 23rd (for some people--it's me. I am people). Here's to all the broken hearts and drained wallets.

[i-am-the-oyster]

Hi there, I also have a quick question about this post (Paul's guilt about hurting John, possibly evidenced in song notes during the making of RAM, and its source—that he left John, despite having promised not to).

Are you saying Paul felt guilty towards John, and knew why, during the making of RAM? And, if so, how would you square this with Paul's notorious 'grief rant' phonecall with Hunter Davies shortly after John's death, where Paul appears not only upset by the idea that he hurt John, but also unaware of what he could have done to cause this hurt?

"But what had really got Paul upset that day was an interview with Yoko in which Yoko was quoted as saying that Paul had hurt John more than any other person. Paul thought they were amongst the cruelest words he ever read." (Hunter Davies grief rant fun)

Was Paul bullshitting Hunter? (Go, Paul)

Was Paul being defensive and angry b/c Yoko blamed him for hurting John in public?

Was Paul not surprised to hear he'd hurt John (after all, they hurt each other often), but struck by the 'more than any other person' part?

I don't mean to say you're right or wrong. I'm just curious to hear you elaborate on this. Meaning, your take on Paul's guilt, and how accessible it was to him consciously. I've long been thinking about him hearing this claim, 'you hurt him more than anyone else', and how different that would have landed, depending on how aware/guilty he felt.

(Whether Paul was right to feel guilty or not is a completely different matter, and doesn't play a role on my question.)

Thank you for the wonderful meaty (sorry Paul!) ask!

I think Paul *did* feel guilty at the time, but I wouldn't exactly say Paul was bullshitting Hunter. The thing that always jumps out at me from that transcript is where Paul says:

There's only one incident I can think of that John has mentioned publicly.

(emphasis mine)

Isn't that an interesting distinction in the context? It makes me think that there were deeply private things that they each did to the other but Paul feels certain that those things would never end up the subject of public discussion.

I don't buy the image of Paul as lacking self-awareness or self-reflection. BUT he is extremely good at re-framing things in a positive way "so many times I had to change the pain to laughter" AND he is a very contrary person. He seems to often instinctively push against whatever narrative the person opposite him is proposing, especially where the topic needs some nuance. (eg the one time he approaches the topic of Jim's violence is in response to Stern pushing Paul's own "idyllic childhood" bit).

So back to the version of their story that had in mind when I made my original post. (Which I'm not married to, but seems like a plausible scenario worth exploring). Paul and John are in a codependent relationship, John has clearly expressed his terror that Paul might leave (as he did with Cyn). John's behaviour has become erratic and (at least borderline) abusive. Paul knows that if he lets go John will "take a tumble", but he's exhausted and Linda is teaching him to take his own desires and needs into account in a much healthier way. (Not to suggest Paul was never selfish in the 60s lol, but he wasn't practicing actual self-care).

John is spiraling, and pushing Paul away in that heartbreaking pattern I call "see I knew you were going to leave". (I'm sure there must be a name for it in psychology). Linda doesn't yet realise the depth of feeling she's dealing with. Paul knows how terrified John is, he's promised he won't be like the others, he won't leave. But he can't do it any more. John finally convinces him that he actually wants him to leave, he bawls his eyes out in front of Mal, and he disappears to Scotland.

I think he would be absolutely wracked with guilt.

And then I think as part of his recovery from that depression he would reassure himself that he did need to leave, that it was the right choice, that he and John could continue to care about one another deeply and move on.

I think Yoko's statement was unnecessarily cruel hurt him, and triggered that contrary response. What's she even talking about? What did I do? The worst ever?!

Thanks again!

[cinamun]

Big fan of your story and your writing. You blend humor with heartfelt and thought provoking and sometimes even heartbreaking subject matter beautifully and I love and appreciate how you allow the black women you write to be flawed and sometimes straight up wrong, but never use it to devalue them. Also your interactions with your readers are grade A community conversations and I find myself reading them and both laughing and sometimes having my whole worldview shifted.

I've felt a bit shy to chime in but thought I'd send an ask to show my appreciation!

Let me know when your Netflix/HBO/Prime contract comes in!

FRIEND!!! Got me all emotional on this fine Monday afternoon. Thank you so much and it always means the world to me to hear how you feel about what I write and put out there. Because you're right, it can be all of those things and sometimes this story says the very quiet things out loud. Its almost medicinal to write it and have the conversations about it!!

I appreciate you and I hope you know you have your very own spot in the Ratchet Reading Room™!!!

Also as soon and I mean AS SOON as Netflix/HBO/Prime hit me up??? Y'all are ALLLLLLL coming to the premier party and we showing up like

I always say this is like the one hobby I have that brings me joy but I would absolutely quit the day job for it lmfao

Love you friend!

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

Questwatch really has the brainworms going...

Listen, I know it’s canon-compliant, seeing as Kiriko and Orisa shouldn’t be with Overwatch by this point, but it was cute to hear that Genji had been working on his Role Heroes’ backstory with Emily for weeks. They’re actual friends!

We could already assume Emily was part of the Overwatch family with how close she is to Winston and Mei (They are her siblings-in-law, your honor). There was that Overwatch 1 interaction where Winston invites Mei to hot pot with Lena, Emily, and Athena that was followed by an Overwatch 2 interaction where Winston says he can’t wait for the next hot pot with Mei. Then, there was also the 2018 OWL spray where they’re all watching sports on a couch. Classic Lemon Tea history right there.

What makes me upset is the fact that Emily doesn’t seem to be living at Watchpoint: Gibraltar. London Calling ended with Lena and Winston saying “We did it! We saved London!”, but we know Iggy is in danger in the upcoming co-op mission. That’s the thing that’s always annoyed me with the plot armor our heroes have. You’re telling me that Lena and Emily have been living safely in London for over five years while Talon has Lena on a hit list???

On one hand, a bit of angst where Emily says her goodbyes to Lena would make me cry, in a good way. (Their love will persevere through anything, damn it!) We see how appreciative Emily is of Lena’s vigilantism in London Calling. She would give up having her girlfriend by her side for the betterment of the world. Also, I love the idea of Mei being subjected to Lena being a sobbing mess without her girlfriend in the crew quarters. On the other hand, Emily is not safe in London. Period.

Let me make one thing clear: I do not want Emily as a hero. Ever. Not only do I not want the possibility of Lena and Emily killing each other (it’s heartbreaking enough with Winston), but I think Emily is perfect as a civilian. She reminds Lena what she’s fighting for, but she’s also a great parallel to Jack’s relationship with Vincent. Jack forgot what he was fighting for, putting his duty above all else, and distanced himself from everyone. Emily is the reason why Lena kept up with being a vigilante, the reason why Lena bumped into Iggy, and the reason why Lena and Iggy were able to stop Kace’s uprising.

All of this is to say that I love the idea of Emily being at Watchpoint: Gibraltar with the new blood of Overwatch. It’s as safe as she’ll ever be with Lena as her girlfriend, after all. I want to see her interact with more heroes, and I guess I’m a little disappointed by the heroes playing their Role Heroes campaign. If we could get Kiriko and Orisa, who are not there in canon, why couldn’t we get Jack? Have you SEEN him being an absolute nerd over chess in the Sojourn novel? It would be a great way to show players who don’t view external media that Jack isn’t just a grumpy old man.

Also, can we talk about Adventurer Tracer’s lines? “Was your knight on holiday?” when eliminating Mercy? “Sorry, I’m the knight in this realm!” when eliminating Pharah? HELLO??? I need to see a Lemon Tea and Pharmercy double date this instant. (People can grow apart after five+ years of not seeing each other. Sorry, Gency shippers.)

I haven’t even seen the rest of Questwatch. I’m “only” tier 42 as of writing this, and I haven’t seen anyone post all the chapters in their entirety. Still, I am LIVING for all this Emily content. Now, give her a voice. Give her a 3D model. Let her show up in Story Missions. I am BEGGING.

(I am so normal...)

[micahmaeve]

you have been slowly converting me with all your icemav posting, and i recently rewatched top gun and i am s o l d. it has been consuming all of my thoughts! do you have any favorite fics??

omg, am I really?? welcome to the club!!

I’ve thrown myself head first into icemav recently so I can ABSOLUTELY rec some of my favorite fics I've read so far!!

When We Get Around to Talking About It by @compacflt is the pièce de résistance of icemav fiction I think, for me personally. It's masterfully written and nuanced and just so heartbreaking. the characterization feels so true to how these men would really be in real life and how they would deal with coming to terms with their feelings for each other and sexuality while being in the navy. and as if 90,424 words of beautiful prose wasn't enough of a gift, there is also a sequel/other stories called Debriefing (& Other Stories) which includes a more truncated version of the original but from mav's pov which is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻

Dreams of Impact by thecarlysutra is also very good. It involves a little supernatural flavor, which I enjoy, and revolves around how their lives could be different if they'd just made one single different choice.

come the same colors by susiecarter is a fav. It's a classic 'you got hurt and it's made me reckon with how I really feel about you, but I haven't figured out how to express that'. So basically it's amazing. this author also has a great catalogue of icemav, so it's really a jumping point to read all of her great work. A Shared Cup is another personal fav of mine from this author. it involves soul telepathic bonds. soooo good

a binary star by vannral is a really yummy piece of fanfic. the first line of the description is the perfect primer for how great the rest of the fic is: "Ice hasn’t ever given much thought to celestial things up in the sky but he knows that Maverick burns like one." like. c'monnnn

i'll ride in this life with you by sassenach082 is an ice and mav raise bradley after carol passes away fic, and it's full of sooo much lovely hurt/comfort that is so sweet it will rot your teeth. any fic with a plethora of baby bradley is going to be good for me

I saw beauty to the north by sortalively (tiisis) is a delayed injury fic set post TG:M. It has a lot of rooster and ice and mav reconciling in it which I'm a sucker for. and, if you like the exploration of rooster and mav's relationship (I'm a sucker for parental figure fics lets not unpack that) this author has some greaaaaaaaat fics on their page for that!

cloaked in the bruises of our failures by faerie_ground will rip your heart out. It takes the mission from TG:M and moves it to the 80s with our favorite class of '86 being trained to fly it, all while Mav and Ice are a few years post a messy 'break-up'. I should warn you that this one comes with a trigger warned from sexual assault from a person of authority to an employee, so if you aren't interested in that maybe skip this one. It is so beautiful though and treats the subject with the respect it deserves. slithered here from eden (just to sit outside your door) is another by this author that is very good and I am waiting patiently for an update

a higher fidelity by basedchamp is a classic slowburn with ice and mav developing their friendship before they realize their feelings for one another

no brighter diamond by qin_ling is a wonderful 'five times...' fic and it's so good. Everything by this author is fantastic so you should def check out their other stuff. as lions is about time travel. delish.

You're Gonna Be The One That Saves Me by an orphan_account is amazing. It's got mav struggling post hop 31 and Ice being there to offer emotional support and more if you know what I mean

'Til I Understand by Katastrophe (Karrington) is about Mav punching out of dark star and kind of fills in some blanks about what his loved ones went through while he was missing. Katastrophe is another author with a large catalogue to just go crazy in

PurpleArrowzandLeather has 153 tg fics on their page with a huge variety, some icemav, some flyboys of '86 (which I adore, I love fics showing their friendship). you can get lost in their page for a while haha. they also have their bookmarks public! so you can dig around in there, too

Sailor's Delight by saurora_borealis can be read as ice and mav or icemav and I think we both know which one I infer it as. Mal de Mer by them is like that, too

baby, baby, i'd get down on my knees for you by boasamishipper and simplecoffee is 'five times mav proposes and one time ice says yes' fic. It's sweet as candy

Is this arguably too long a response? yes. are all of these worth the read? also yes

I hope you enjoy!!