#and lowkey acting holier than thou

[rrapmonster]

the switch up on brian puspos on twitter has been absolutely comical to watch

[emmitaaa4]

Getting exponentially tired of the “elriels want 👹” posts in the elain tags where they proceed to either A) outright invent stuff B) act holier than thou about how they care so much for Elain because they C) misconstrue the little they hear from our side in bad faith, or D) just completely miss the point they’re addressing.

it’s one thing to be bitter about a ship, but geez theyre getting mad at generalizations they made up about what we think. it has to be tiring. non?

small rant beneath, just to vent. yes i know i can (& should) block certain tags, but reading frustrating content is a hobby of sorts.

Im genuinely convinced all these “ewriel”-myths they keep talking about are a result of a bad game of telephone—they hear a random thing a gwynriel says, go “they’re all stupid/delusional/immature (insult of choice) so i don’t doubt what you’re saying”, then repeat it to others.

It’s obvious by the way they wholeheartedly believe that Elain is our puritanical-warrior-self-insert we use to vicariously F Azriel (😃✋). Doesn’t help that they usually don’t look as deeply into Elain as we do & tend to get stuck on obviously superficial statements about her: they cannot seem to fathom an Elain that isn’t just a once-bright socialite wilting away sans her sun-mate. So any hint of darkness/savviness we see in her is just us moulding her into Y/N. sigh

anyways.

I can say i’ve read their posts on here, a ton prior to being involved and some now. I’ve seen their tiktoks & video essays, their powerpoints & reddit posts. i’ve seen their comments all over insta/tiktok (kinda hard to miss, they jump on elriel content with their “um shadows and um pliable bones and mates!!” comments). I am WELL aware of what the general consensus is on that side—which is why I am generally unbothered by GA, don’t mind EL, and am just peacefully sailing aboard my ship waiting for it to reach destination.

And because I care about Elain’s journey, I try to see the story the way they do when i encounter certain elucien arguments. For if i am to even just privately engage in the sHip wArs, i know to remain ✨critical✨ and ✨open minded✨.

… there’s no point turning discussions into angry posts against imaginary adversaries.

EVERY elriel i’ve talked to would read an elucien book because it is Elain’s story we are most anticipating. It’s just very telling to me that very few would do the same; that there’s not a whiff of willingness from most of them to listen to the other side.

The funny thing is that all those anti eWrieL posts** i’ve read tend to address twisted versions of “the elriel narrative.” They take things out of context, or say we have the same 3 arguments—which is genuinely insane bc if you know our ship so well, how can you be off by like 2 orders of magnitude ??? (exaggerating if it wasn’t clear, we can’t know these days).

** Their pro GA content reads very anti-Az, used to be very anti-elain, and has a narrow scope ngl. While the bonus matters, it seems like that is ALL they’ve read. They don’t think much about Elain’s journey or powers or decisions, which is just logically not the best way to analyze the series given she IS what’s to come.

✨Just some common myths they believe✨:

they repeatedly claim that elriels want poor elain to be a kickass warrior torturer to fit Az because they A) don’t actually read our stuff B) enjoy thinking we hate elain, and C) can’t fanthom that spying isn’t 007 ninja activities.

apparently we ship elriel because we think they have this big great romance OFF PAGE 😭. how in the hell— i’ll make a post on this one istg it’s lowkey funny. quick, were nessian strangers and unfeeling towards each other at the start of SF ???? damnit i must’ve missed that.

En tout cas. End of rant the rest stays in the drafts lmao.

but istg one day i’ll cave in and unleash the essays of rebuttals and psychoanalyses of their arguments / thought processes just for shit and giggles.

[wendytestabrat]

a subtle kyman moment no one talks about

ok i’ve talked abt this a lot before how cartman & kyle have A LOT more in common with each other and are more similar to each other than they are to stan with a lot of moments of those two either gaining up on stan together or selling him out some good examples are “all about mormons” when they made fun of stan for being friends with gary and made all those gay jokes (wow projecting much), the obvious betrayal in “you’re getting old” & “ass burgers” when kyle replaced stan with cartman, & ofc in the black friday trilogy when stan wanted to be on the ps4 side but cartman & kyle wanted xboxes. in fact stan was the first one to initiate not wanting to be friends anymore in “south parq vaccination special”, which goes to show imo that stan is the real outsider of the group at this point and doesn’t feel supported by the other boys in the dynamic. but what i wanna talk abt is that scene in “the pandemic special” where they’re at build a bear and stan has that breakdown and cries and shit bc that was lowkey a kyman moment too but ya’ll didn’t see it. what really stood out to me in that scene was how much cartman & kyle fucking gaslit stan and made him out to be crazy….for you know HAVING NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS ABOUT THE PANDEMIC. it pisses me off bc stan is way more rational than cartman & kyle are and he keeps his emotions in check way more often and then puts up with all of THEIR bullshit when they’re constantly acting out and throwing tantrums like a baby in every episode, so it’s like they couldn’t let stan have this ONE moment where he got to express his feelings and act out and do something bad??? even tho cartman & kyle do dumbass reckless immature shit and act on their emotions all the time???? they make him out to be the bad guy for going to a build-a-bear that’s closed and trying to stuff a bear for butters (even tho he was just projecting his own feelings abt the pandemic) with no employees there. like bitch please, i mean yeah breaking into a closed build a bear is a dumb thing to do but cartman & kyle shouldn’t be acting like they’re the saints here bc they’re not and they’ve done WAY worse shit lol. i mean that holier-than-thou attitude can be expected of kyle but it was surprising to see it from cartman too. and there are so many moments were stan goes along with their bullshit when they wanna do something that’s illegal or fucked up, but the one time stan gets the idea to do something fucked up they’re like “noooo that’s wrong”. the part tho where cartman is literally backing up KYLE and not stan and is like “stan you really need employee assistance for this” had me like

bc u would not expect that from cartman considering he’s a sociopathic maniac so if another boy gets an idea to do something fucked up and illegal he would be totally on board LOL like how he was willing to help stan steal the baby cows in s6 but at this point in the series you can see how the chemistry between cartman & kyle has grown so strong to the point that it’s like neither of those two give a shit about stan anymore and wanna support him on anything, when before stan was like the glue that kept the group together and it seemed like cartman & kyle wouldn’t even had been hanging out with each other if it wasn’t for their mutual friendship with stan. i think that goes to show that cartman has developed A LOT and he’s become more similar to kyle and values kyle’s opinion above the other boys when the dynamic used to be more of cartman getting stan & kenny to gain up against kyle. ESPECIALLY that scene in “bebe’s boobs destroy society” where cartman suggests they kick kyle out of the group or all those times when he’s like “ok guys i guess we just have to kill kyle” LOL

[achiara]

ok bale is deranged but when he said they all just get paid to kill people so there's no reason to act holier than thou, he lowkey had a point but i guess jinman wasn't ready for that conversation

[youremyheaven]

Hi, I would just like to share, I know someone who has a princess-syndrome and would often act like an only child when in fact she has siblings. She would often get angry if she was given a small chore like wash the dishes she used and would say “why r u pointing fingers as to who should clean” when in fact she was the first one to say to clean our own. She would also say “i even cleaned those i did not use” like whose?? She’s the only being left at home so whose things are she cleaning? She would also often lie just to get her way and she wouldn’t be accused of anything. She has a holier-than-thou personality. I just hate it so much. She often acts like she’s being persecuted when in fact she doesnt even leave her room. She’s giving to other people like they see her as kind and angelic but damn behind closed doors she would be kind to the world and expects the world to be kind to her. She gives and expects something in return. Like no that’s not how the world works, you’re old enough to know that 😔

Idk which of her placements affect her like this, is it her Purva Bhadra? Uttara Phal? Revati venus?? Or ardra mars? If we try to lecture her she’ll become offended, like sissy do u not want to learn?? 😭

Princess syndrome = Jupiter + Solar influence

I think many unevolved Jupitereans can be very partial about who they're kind and giving to. Idk what her relationship is like with her parents, I feel like Jupitereans are lowkey nasty to people who they think are "beneath" them 👀

Is she very young? Do her parents not scold her?? Has she always been this way??

[redactedwriting]

Omg yes please kink headcanons too!! (for mcr)

YEAHHHH WOOOOOO (also. in reality i think these dudes are vanilla mfs. but In My Heart and On My Blog, this is the truth)

gerard….im gonna get it out of the way: he has a piss kink. he also likes to tie ppl up but not a big fan of being tied up, but he does love being pinned down. kitty kink fr. he loooves being edged within an inch of his life, being overstimmed to tears, orgasm denial. i think he’d rly like getting spanked (his fave is with a flogger but he doesn’t rly play w that too much bc It Hurts). i think he’d be a little into knives, def into blood. he likes being on display…like, having his legs held open or jerking off for someone to see, sending them pics and vids, just generally being pretty <3 i think he’d have a Fat sir/miss kink. both as the bottom and the top. daddy/mommy not toooo much but he fucks with it sometimes, esp if he wants to be cutesy bratty <3 he likes talking back and getting gagged or his face slapped about it. hair pulling. SIZE QUEEN.

franks a fuckin masochist dude i cannot put into words how true this is. yall know that one shoot of him bloody gagged and bound in the fridge? yeah. rougher sex the better tbh, i think he likes dirty messy sex a lot, and he’d love getting tied with rope and hit, BIG FAN OF CBT……big fan of denial and edging and overstim and his brain says if he’s not crying by the end then he’s not done <3 (all of this is heavily consented to!!!). but also he rly likes soft goopy lovey sex where he gets pampered and loved on and called a sweet pretty boy <3 he loves being good too!! it’s just he’s a fuckin brat so often!!! he loves the sweet degradation too, gets him off so fuckin hard. mmm and of course it isn’t frank without puppy kink :) he loves being a soft sweet pup but he also fucking Loves when he’s called a dirty fucking dog and he’s made to howl and whine in misery (pleasure, but he’s being edged for the billionth time in a night). also scent kink. and piss but only if his partner wants it.

mikey isn’t a masochist but he is a bit of a sadist i think. when he’s bottoming, he likes being choked <3 he also likes forced eye contact and when his jaw gets grabbed so they move his head around. hair pulling. siiiiizeeee queeeeeeen he Loves big dicks. he loves being a good boy but he also likes acting up some <3 and when he’s topping, ugh lord. i think he likes to. like, okay. yknow how korse is like? the bad guy, and there’s the ray guns and he’s just generally Mean to the killjoys? but in that lowkey really fucking sexy way? yeah. mikey likes to top in the ways that make the villains sexy. he’s kinda slimey but in a good way, and he’s always got that holier than thou smirk, and smug voice. and he’d like to slap his partner around a bit, only rarely using something stronger than his hand, and he’d like to watch their eyes roll back when he fucks them hard. he likes pinning them down more than tying them up. big fan of making his partner cry (consensually and not in bad ways etc etc). lowkey i think as both top and bottom he would have a breeding kink. mmm but also sweetie mikey <3 he’d be so into taking care of youuuu and loving on uuuuu and calling you good and sweet and perfect. ugh mikeyway we r in it now

ray has a kink for making his partner come a billion times. overstimulated or just multiple orgasms or whatever? he loves watching them fall apart over and over for him. he loves making them feel good. he’s a soft dom <3 he likes to pin them down and sometimes tie them up. ugh he would be such a fan of shibari but not in a bondage kink way??? like, he just adores seeing his partner tied like that. mmm i think he’d like using fun lubes just to see what it’s like (flavored, warming, etc) and he’d giggle when they’d moan or when he’d moan. it’s so sweet. when he’s bottoming i think he’d lowkey rly like being stepped on. he’d like his hair pulled, he’d rly like scratching. not so much being spanked or giving spanks. he does love a little teasing slap though <3 he’d be into collars on his partner but not on himself i think. ray very much reads as one who is into whatever his partners into yk? and he’s so sexy for it

[lyranova]

I’d say your trademark is parallels.

William and Zera are both beloved by their communities but while William is viewed as a golden boy (pun totally intended), Zera has has Black Market connections and kind of has an unruly reputation.

Discordia and Nacht’s parallels are also so delicious. The survivor’s guilt in both…. while Dia cling to hope and lowkey abandoned some of her dignity for a chance to bring Morgen back, Nacht gives up on being a better person but hides it behind a “holier than thou” act.

The father-son parallels you do with William and Alistar as well as Gauche and Aloys are also very good but I shouldn’t ramble. 😅

AGWJWWJSKSKWKWOWOWJWNEWNW *runs under covers and hides* Thank you so much Erika 🥺😭💕!!

Some of the parallels are intentional (William and Zera, Alistar and William, and Aloys and Gauche(, some of them aren’t (Nacht and Discordia) but I love it that you noticed them either way (parallels are so much fun 🥺)!!

And feel free to ramble whenever you want, I love hearing your rambles 😤💕!

[deadpanwalking]

I don't know you but that was a really good addition to the tar pit post. People here can get mean but I also can't stand the ones that defend dumbasses by acting holier than thou and calling everyone morally bankrupt bullies. Thanks for pointing out a nice thing without making it weird

That comment was lowkey dedicated to all the longtime friends who endured my spiteful mentally-ill theatrics for reasons which continue to elude me to this day. I mean, there is friendship and then there is voluntarily sitting through my wretched depression monologues without once interrupting and repeating all the most unhinged parts back to me in a Donald Duck voice.

[pumpumdemsugah]

Ooof yes I stumbled across this and was shocked to see people talking about this. I of know of Maria Al Masani irl, and from a quick glance all they aggressively insist about over-compensation, bitter women, and bullying in her the erratic rants applies to her persona while she clearly is bothered by westerners, working class people, or normal women being stable or "masculinas" despite how she acts about manners and claiming to be holier than thou and not at all superficial with her critical thinking and cultured poc-ness she alleges. #Living my best life, as if, like it's middle school dress up and lowkey insulting your prize of a husband.

I have so much empathy her story. But there is no need to lie but I'm afraid others live of that sort of attention and can't help but respond to it. It's shameful. Her choices to act on the internet with her need for those followers and oh so difficult youtube channel is deserving to be on blast, but I feel bad and worried about what she admits about herself freely for the public.

It's all because, lets be truthful, nobody has ever been objectively checking on her looks-wise then at not at 40 and you can look for yourself at her ability to neatly present herself while pushing her taste. What they say about the inside maladaptiveness showing through is true, and talking seriously adopting these chronically online groups and incel edgelord speak to be bossy and feel big will hurt women no matter what.

"but how she has promoted to girls to act older and get themselves in unpredictable, prime for abuse environments and excusing abuse and groping for wearing skirts or being a worker, middle class having the wrong standards or being seen as an equal human + the idea healthy men will want someone basing their moves about their approval and not believing in their natural ability to be attractive outside of performing comformist gender roles on the outside. pick me extreme."

It's very embarrassing behaviour on her part. I want to say she's too old to be acting like this because it's obvious she's not internet savvy enough that it's easy to see the cracks in her persona

All the women that behaviour similar to this are embarrassing but you'd at least think with age she'd be a little wiser. At least most of her peers won't be on social media to see her humiliate herself.

She's encouraging younger women to put themselves in bad situations.

[theaofthesea]

Why do some people act like the worst thing you can do to them (apparently) is like Taylor Swift? Just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean I should feel ashamed that her music speaks to me.

I went to the Eras movie on Halloween and dressed up as Reputation. A guy friend of mine who is usually incredibly mature and stays in his own lane commented and said “I’ll forgive the Taylor Swift lmao”.

That’s nice but I don’t need permission or forgiveness to like what I like and/or show it.

I saw that comment immediately after it ended so I responded with “I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn’t know what I mean” which he absolutely did not understand as being a quote or that by it I meant “I don’t engage in interactions where I’m being shamed” and then he made a comment like “not with that outfit”.

First of all that doesn’t even make sense and second, it took like a day for it to sink in that these were really weird and kinda rude things for a friend to say?

He absolutely was joking and didn’t mean anything by it but like it still came off holier than thou and judgey and I expect better of him.

We are both way too old for him to act like what I like has anything to do with him and he definitely overstepped by talking to me like I need permission or forgiveness for what I like, even if it was a joke.

I still lowkey want to be like “wtf?” to him but unfortunately I think in order to keep my side of the street clean, I need to just not engage. I deleted his second comment bc it made me uncomfortable and I left it alone.

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

I used to be in the asoiaf fandom (btw, love ya and like this whole side of asoiaftumblr!) and I have to ask... what in R'hllor's name is a "neutral"?

Hi @hyacinthyne! Thanks for the ask! :D

A "neutral" is usually a Big Name Fan or a "fandom expert". They pretend that they are unbiased in their analysis and pretend that they love all the characters equally. Yet when they talk about the Key Five characters, especially Arya and Dany, their responses are usually riddled with lowkey inconsideration, actual thought and analysis, and bias. They are also very clearly Sansa Stans, but they try to hide it so they aren't associated with the side of fandom that is much hated. They know not as many people would listen to them if they were clear in their biased analysis. Which is clearly shown, when in their analysis they praise Sansa at the expense of the other characters, especially Arya, Dany and Jon. They describe Sansa as the "embodiment of hope for the future" yet can't support this fact with legitimate canon evidence or even possible evidence, and never actually praise the real progressive characters in the series as being the "embodiment of hope and change" in Westeros. And when you question some of their analysis (non rudely, just correcting things they obviously got wrong or are mistaken about, or even just participating in healthy debate) they block you.

Mostly these "neutrals" love to take the moral high ground. Yet when it's the Stansa's and Jonsa's who are being particularly nasty they stay mum and "mind their own business". However when we Arya and Dany and Jon stans finally defend ourselves with legitimate canon sources to back up our arguments, they are all over us. Disparaging us Arya and Dany fans for being anti-feminist or fighting over Jon's dick (which we are not doing as shipping is never part of the argument unless Jonsa's are trying to prove canon Jonsa foreshadowing by stealing from Arya's content and her canon close relationship with Jon) or making stupid hashtags like #letaryabeugly (even though the canon evidence contradicts this as she's maturing, several times contradicted).

So basically they police fandom and act holier-than-thou because they've usually been in fandom for awhile, and are "unbiased" literary analysts, which don't exist. They are clearly Stansa's, some of them even Jonsa's, but they pretend otherwise. I'm sure many of these "neutrals" are contributing to the harassment and bullying (and the increase in it since Dany month premiered in October and is just getting worse with Jon month and will likely be horrendous by Arya month) of Key Five fans in this fandom.

It honestly is ridiculous, no one can be unbiased when reading something, because of our life experiences and who we are as people and who we relate to or not. Not to mention, there is no way someone can analyze the entirety of these books and be an "expert" on every single character or plot, much less the smaller things like foreshadowing and symbolism and themes for each character. Which is why I don't pretend to understand characters I've never really focused much of my attention and analysis on, and why I will listen to those characters legitimate fans, even real Sansa fans, who accept Sansa, flaws and all, who actually understand her real character and arc.

But these "neutrals", these "experts" try to have the moral high ground and shame the rest of us for having preferences or relating to one character more than another character or just not liking a character. Like we don't need a reason not to like a character or not be as interested in a character as others. We don't need to write a dissertation explaining why someone who was bullied in childhood can't relate to Sansa, or why a person who has never felt insecure could relate to Arya. But they seem to think it's owed to them. No, scratch that, they seem to think we are "lesser" for it and deserve to be judged and bullied for it, because like I said, most of them are Stansa's, who are always brutally offended when someone doesn't like their whitewashed fanon Sansa or her toxic stans.

I hope that answered your question. :)

[just-antithings]

I hate how a lot of YT video essays on fandom topics are made by lowkey antis/people who share anti beliefs like they'll start fine but if the source material contains dark themes, they either shame the creator and act holier than thou or shame the people who enjoy the dark aspects just as much and, well, again act holier than thou. And the comments are also full of people like that.

yeah that’s really annoying

[starrymothwings]

haha so priests amirite?

Name: Bishop Sinclair Age: 19 Height: 188 cm Year: 3rd Dorm: Heartslabyul Twisted From: Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dam) Birthplace: Land of Pyroxene

- *cold, long stare*

- serious, manipulative, uptight, and upholds rules to the utmost degree. actually supported riddle when he was a tyrant, and viewed him as the ideal dorm leader. as nonsensical as some of the rules can be, bishop memorized and followed them to a T

- son of a judge and a very successful prosecutor, both of whom were very...iron-handed in their parenting while also being somewhat emotionally neglectful. he had to mature too quickly and learn to fend for himself and thus grew up putting too much faith in responsibility and the rules because that’s how he survived: as long as he followed the rules, nothing bad happened and he didn’t get interrogated by his parents. needless to say that was not a very good environment for a growing boy

-which was why he ended up getting attached to riddle and saw him as his one and only true friend because of their similarities. bishop did not take riddle mellowing out after episode one well, saw it as a sort of personal betrayal. tried to challenge him for dorm leadership, in fact--bishop lost and has been bitter about it since

- truly doesn’t want to be this person that he is and desires to be free and act on his own desires, but doesn’t actually know how to realize those feelings. he doesn’t have a friend like trey to lean on, nor does he have anyone like deuce to knock some sense into him. tries not to speak to riddle as much as possible after the incident

-soft french accent. you might catch him muttering to himself in the language too

-mayyyy be at higher risk for overblotting than other students bc of emotional issues, and mayyyy have already overblotted once before

-ok but back to him being manipulative...views himself as a sort of ‘guide’ for other students, especially problem student. big holier-than-thou attitude and goes around ‘forgiving’ students for not adhering to the rules. typically he just talks to them, though he’s not above involving magic if it comes down to it

-except talking usually works...students come back from talking to him, but they’re changed somehow. they can’t remember exactly why but they find themselves avoiding him and anxiously following rules. like they’re afraid of something but they can’t remember what it is

-and that’s all because of his unique magic, Hellfire. like with jamil and jade, it’s activated by looking him in the eyes, and it works on like a guilt system. it plagues the other person with horrible visions and hallucinations, the severity depending on how ‘guilty’ they feel, or rather when they know they’ve broken a rule. worst part is that the person affected can’t remember afterwards until it happens again

- will genuinely help you if you ask though, but you have to actually try bc he doesn’t want to waste his time. a very good tutor, thankfully

- acts like a prude, but is honestly very thirsty. catch his attention and he’ll lie awake thinking about them. thinks about them most of the day too. falls deeply and desperately in love 

- chain smoker and very good at hiding it. the one rule he’s willing to break, but only for himself

- lowkey a canonical yandere

- horseback riding club member and often sparring partner for silver and sebek

- excels in most subjects, particularly history. isn’t terrible at gym but his stamina is lacking

- DEFINITELY needs a hug and some therapy, maybe a pack of nicotine gum to help stave off that addiction too

[seoafin]

hi hi this is 3D printer girl LMFAOO I saw your post on naoya and personally I don’t like him (mf is ugly inside and out tbh) but! I found your thoughts on him—on like how ppl like him and he’s fictional and like that’s the reality for some ppl—really enlightening! like luckily for me I’m privileged enough as a young Korean woman to not have to face that same level? of misogyny in the us (I think? idk in my case at least I think so) so thank you for putting that in perspective! it really makes me appreciate (is that the right word?) how privileged I am

but to put this on a more lighthearted note, another story I have is I didn’t realize that another boy who recently liked me liked me even though he only agreed to come to hangouts (we had the same friend group) unless I came 💀 and I was like huh? okay I guess....while my friends were like yo are you stupid? he obviously likes you hello? like yes? I’m stupid? sorry 😁🤞

lowkey feel like i should’ve worded it better bc in the end yeah he is just a fictional character!! what rubbed me the wrong way though is the way people were acting like hating naoya comes from some "holier than thou" bullshit (and yeah there are some ppl like that i won’t lie) when in fact for me it’s just bc i experience that special flavor of asian misogyny every time I have to interact with my father's extended family so i’d prefer not to read about it (don’t get me wrong, like I’m going to write about it and explore it in my writing) but i’m not going to....yk...read about it LOL

it kinda does make me :/ to remember that some ppl in my family literally believe i shouldn’t have rights and that my parents are wasting their money on my college education 😁

okay you know what!! can't blame you girl!! You know what would be rlly embarassing??? mistaking something as romantic and reading into it too much. I would simply pass away. better safe than sorry 😌

[jackambrosemodeling]

Task: Character Playlist Deep Dive

Playlist: Jack Ambrose’s Character Playlist

Number of Songs: 16 (as of August 2021)

Length: 59:28 (as of August 2021)

Triggers: Religious trauma, homophobia, homelessness, drugs, alcoholism 

Track 1: Holy- PVRIS (religious trauma tw)

After her conversion to Seventh Day Adventism, Jack’s mom took on a “holier-than-thou” mentality. From a young age, Jack questioned her attitude, as well as the attitudes of other members of the church. The Bible encourages loving others despite their differences, yet the Church was always trying to change those who had differing opinions. This song is meant to express Jack’s frustration with being surrounded by hypocrisy. 

Track 2: Run Away With Me- Carly Rae Jepsen (homophobia tw)

Despite the upbeat tune of the song, the situation Jack was in as a teenager was anything but cheery. When Jack came out as gay, they were given an ultimatum: go to conversion therapy or leave. Jack chose the latter. Jack and their boyfriend at the time made plans to run off to California. Even though they both grew up being told that their love was sinful, they were willing to risk it all to start a life together. They were young and in love, and felt they’d be okay as long as they had each other.

Track 3: California- Petey (homelessness tw)

Jack left their home in Wilmington, North Carolina, for the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, California, shortly after their 18th birthday. However, life didn’t become easier when they set foot on the west coast. Jack and their ex-boyfriend lived in a homeless shelter for two years before getting on their feet. Despite struggling mentally, financially, and romantically, the two chose to stay where they were. Struggling in California was better than being completely miserable in North Carolina.

Track 4: Unholy- Miley Cyrus

As Jack entered their 20′s, they were presented with the opportunity for a career in modeling. Their modeling gigs introduced them to the L.A. party scene, and they were hooked from the start. Now that they were single and working as a model, Jack took the opportunity to hook up with anyone and everyone. With these escapades also came drinking and recreational drug use. They didn’t care that it was “sinful” or “unholy,” because everyone else around them was doing the same exact thing. 

Track 5: Fluids- Michael Medrano (drugs tw)

As Jack started experimenting more with drugs and alcohol, they also started experimenting sexually. They initially identified as a gay man, but after numerous encounters with people all across the gender spectrum, they started to question this. They knew they weren’t straight, but they weren’t fully gay either. At first, they thought it was the alcohol, but eventually they came to terms with the fact that they’re sexually fluid all the time; the alcohol just gave them the courage to act on it. 

Track 6: successful- Ariana Grande

By the age of 23, Jack was able to pursue modeling as a full-time career. While they aren’t the biggest name in the game, they’ve found a lot of success, especially in queer circles. This song is a celebration of their success, as well as the success of people around them. Jack has taken pride in being able to travel all around the world and live lavishly. They also want to share this success with their loved ones and uplift them in any way possible. 

Track 7: Lowkey As Hell- Waterparks

On the flip side of enjoying their youth and success, being famous can be stressful. Jack is a materialistic person and wants to have nice things, but at the same time, they still struggle emotionally like everyone else. They know that things could be much worse, but that doesn’t make their struggles feel any less real. This song is an expression of feeling depressed and disconnected, despite constantly working and having material success.

Track 8: Androgyny- Garbage

Jack currently uses the term “genderfluid” to describe their gender, but it wasn’t until their mid-20′s that they started to experiment with their gender presentation. Up until then, they had only ever worn men’s clothes because they were taught from a young age that “cross-dressing” was unacceptable. Once they got past their fears and internal biases, they realized that it didn’t matter who wore what. Fabric was fabric no matter who was wearing it. Meeting gender non-conforming models and experimenting with their own style helped them come to terms with their femininity, masculinity, and androgyny. 

Track 9: Bad Romance- Lady Gaga

Jack had a turbulent relationship with their ex-fiancé, Sage, from the very beginning. Jack and Sage met through work and started off as friends, but things heated up quickly between the two. Despite being on-and-off for five years, Jack always went back for more, even though they knew on some level that it wasn’t good for their mental health. The couple wanted to be right for one another, but never were. 

Track 10: Best Part of Me- Ed Sheeran & Yebba

After getting back together for the third time, Jack proposed to Sage. Despite Jack’s flaws and self-doubt, Sage said yes to getting married. Even though their relationship was open sexually, they felt romantically bound to one another. Jack was fully committed to spending the rest of their life with Sage and thought that they were the best part of their life. Little did they know that their own actions would lead to the demise of the relationship. 

Track 11: Talia- King Princess (alcoholism tw) 

Sage and Jack’s relationship ended after a drunken fight in October 2020. After Sage quit drinking, they started to see that Jack had a drinking problem. They begged Jack to get help, but they refused to acknowledge their problem. After a particularly bad fight, Sage left the apartment and left their engagement ring on the nightstand. The next morning, they texted Jack and said they could no longer be together. Sage had walked out before, but this time was permanent. Before beginning on their journey towards sobriety, Jack had a week-long period of binge drinking where they wallowed in self-pity and imagined that Sage was still by their side.

Track 12: decide to be happy- MisterWives

With the encouragement of their manager, Jack quit drinking and started attending therapy, not as a way to win Sage back, but as a means of self-care. Jack had been struggling with depression for years, but they used alcohol to hide it. As much as the breakup hurt, Jack needed this pain in order to grow as a person and take steps towards finding true happiness. Being happy doesn’t always come easy, but now, they wake up every morning and decide to continue on the path of self-growth.

Track 13: Sober- Kelly Clarkson (alcoholism tw)

This song is a reflection of living life without alcohol and without their ex-fiancé. They hit a low point in January 2021 and flip-flopped between contemplating relapse and contemplating begging their ex for forgiveness. However, they toughed through this rough patch and continued flourishing. They made it this far, and they didn’t want all of that progress to go to waste. They started to reevaluate their friendships, weeding out the negative influences from L.A. and nurturing the new friendships they were making in Santa Monica, thus picking all their weeds but keeping the flowers.

Track 14: Sober- P!nk (alcoholism tw)

Upon a lot of self-reflection, Jack realized just how many issues alcohol created in their life. They received a reputation from the paparazzi as a wild party animal and attention seeker. Many friends and acquaintances didn’t know who Jack was sober. This isn’t who Jack wanted to be any more. They’re relearning themself and learning how to properly enjoy life without the vices that dragged them down. However, this doesn’t mean that the cravings have stopped.  

Track 15: Sleeping With A Friend- Neon Trees

Jack slept with their now-girlfriend, Vivian, for the first time in February 2021 at Santa Monica’s first Masquerade Ball. The two met each other when Jack moved into the apartment next to Vivian’s in December 2020. The attraction was there from the start, but the two didn’t want to risk messing up the budding friendship they had. This night changed all of that. They gave into temptation and took the risk, despite the possible consequences. Little did they know that they would both soon catch feelings for one another. 

Track 16: Official- Charli XCX

After Jack returned from Fashion Week in March, they started seeing Vivian much more often. They began having overnight hangouts multiple times per week. It was at La Playa Music Festival that they confessed their feelings for one another. It wasn’t any grandiose gesture that made Jack develop feelings for Vivian, but rather a combination of all of the little things they had been doing together, like pizza dates on her couch, kissing in the kitchen, and sharing their fears and emotions at all hours of the night. 

[stargirlfics]

same anon. i’m not saying anything bad i wish the best for chris and i hope this blows over quick. i have no problem with the rpf and things of that nature, i actually like them. i just don’t like the hypocritical blogs that act holier-than-thou like they weren’t praying for this moment. that’s what i was trying to say. take none of this person please. have a great night! ❤️

Oh yeah that’s uh....big yikes, I sure hope nobody would actually be wishing for things to get leaked or whatever it is but I get what you mean I think

I think it’s a good thing even those people are on the same page about that being a line that was crossed but I get where it may make ppl feel some type of way cause their actions haven’t really lived up to that boundary in the first place?? Idk I’m lowkey sleepy so ! but yeah I think as long as we all know personally where that obvious boundary is then the rest who don’t arent ppl we need to surround ourselves by