#i think my one thing abt this is ppl on twitter are being a bit hypocritical of brian when jungkook is also like slightly complacent

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

i wish there was a space for actual adults within this fandom. i guess i will have to create it, even if it's just me and other five people and a shoelace. i wonder how this whole thing is gonna develop!

[rrapmonster]

the switch up on brian puspos on twitter has been absolutely comical to watch

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[dnpoll]

my personal explanations below the cut!

also i scheduled this poll and i realised i forgot ARIANA GRANDE that's deep lore... GOD

muse: one of the things that dan and phil bonded over when they met each other - phil's favourite artist with his streams making it dan's top artist from 2014-2016. they have also seen muse at least five times! dan has played muse songs several times on the piano (specifically sunburn) + they did a lip sync video to muse for bbc radio. also they made fun of kristen stewart a lot when they were younger (they have since apologised and called her an iconic) and she was in twilight and muse supermassive black hole is famously in twilight so...

final fantasy vii: the soundtrack with interrupted by fireworks! dan said it reminded him of phil in a formspring answer <3 and that's all...

fall out boy: firstly "no but seriously imagine if:". secondly they have interviewed fob several times for the bbc! thirdly, specifically with pete wentz, he was dan's icon in his teenage years. he followed dan because of the interviews with him - he even prank called dan in call or delete. but as punishment in a best friend quiz video, phil tweeted "sometimes i dream about being one of the reindeer galloping through the sky with leather straps tying me to my friends mm yes carrots please" from dan's account - and pete wentz unfollowed fob. i am also convinced they think the milk fic is a petekey fic or something

the 1975: dan and phil called into the radio as fans when they were not hosting and the 1975 was there! dan said he was there with "his friend phil" and matty healy immediately recognised them as "dan and phil from the radio" despite them trying to be sneaky about it. dan also LOVED a brief inquiry into online relationships which he posted on his story and said he was "personally attacked by literally every song on the album". mm okay

my chemical romance: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". secondly dan specifically was/is a huge fan of mcr - although phil did sing welcome to the black parade (incorrectly) in a yasuhati video). mcr was also referenced in dan and anthony padilla's stop emo hate video, basically i'm gay and the dream daddy series, just to name a few (they g note a LOT). also hesitant alien featured in the tour of dan's brain video! gerard used to follow dan on twitter but doesn't anymore... beef?

panic! at the disco: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". also brendon and ryan are in the milk fic which they constantly reference. also there's a dnp edit with 57k views to house of memories

frank ocean: dan's top song in 2012 was "thinkin about you" by frank ocean which ppl talk abt a lot for many reasons. he also said his religion was frank ocean in 2016 LOL

troye sivan: YOUTUBE FRIENDS LOL - the iconic pic with dan, phil, troye and tyler! also dan and phil were the first people to play troye sivan's happy little pill on the radio, and are thus partially responsible for his success. troye sivan also led to chappell roan's success, so basically muse is responsible for chappell roan. troye also featured in a phil glasses video!

one direction: firstly, dnp interviewed them - a harrowing event that they outline in detail in tabinof. secondly, the iconic dan eating an orange picture behind a 1d concert. lastly, they talk about harry styles quite a bit - phil posed as him in a viewers pick my outfit, and of course the rotisserie chicken situation

nick jonas: hey buddy you in london #dick

smash mouth: more recent dan-based lore but mark (tour member) made an instagram story asking how to get all-star licensed. a phannie (royalsdnp on twt) then tweeted about it, and smash mouth (the twt account) saw it. dan then tweeted at the account asking for it, and it worked! smash mouth is now an official dannie, having tweeted orange for wad, and also offered the original demo for shrek to be used, saying it can maybe be for dan's next special. generally insane because dan has ofc always been a huge shrek fan as a part of his meme personality in the 2010s, even dressing up as him for a calendar

[desire-mona]

Opinions on jacksfilms v sssniperwolf?

Penny for ur thoughts plz 🪙 (<- pretend that is a penny shhhhh)

this ask is an equivalent to asking for my hand in marriage just btw.

so in case anyone doesnt know anything abt this old ass drama (i dont know as much as i could either, this is a retelling from the bits and pieces i remember):

so basically sssniperwolf used to be this gaming youtuber but she eventually turned into a half baked "reaction" channel where she just watches tiktoks, makes low effort surface level commentary, and then doesnt credit the creator of said tiktoks. jacksfilms is a comedy youtuber who does a bunch of stuff (sketches, streaming, something called YIAY where he gives ppl prompts / questions to answer n reads em out(with credit!(also hes been doing stuff with ai recently but mostly to show how mid it is which like. eh idk how i feel abt it but its not a dealbreaker))) and he at one point in 2023 called out sniper for her content stealking and lazy content.

he started doing this thing where he reacted to her videos the way she reacts to the videos she steals? i think? and then he gives credit to the creators that sniper reacts to i hope ur following. sniper eventually got mad and was like "uhhhmmm ur stealing from me....." which is rly funny considering she steals from SO many ppl. they had lowkey beef for a while (and obv jack was in the right the entire time) and on uhhhhhh lemme look this up hold on. october 13th of last year sniper posted an instagram story poll like "jacksfilms is close to this place im shooting at should i go see him" i guess to like? talk things out?

(src)

and then some amnt of time later while jack was playing jackbox on stream with his editors and stuff (dubbed the council) sniper showed up at his house, stood outside, and posted a video OF HIS HOME ON HER STORY. ON HER INSTAGRAM WITH OVER 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS. also to add even more context that i found out from youtube comments, sniper has been arrested for armed robbery before, so! some council member alerted jack and erin (jack's wife) was like "erm im gonna go outside" and everyone was like NO DONT OMG. eventually she deleted the story but by that point it was like wayyyy too late. and photos of his house were alr on twitter and stuff. the most ridiculous part is that when jack was rightfully like WHAG GHE HELL she was like this guy is creepy and hes been harassing me! i just wanna talk!!!

jacksfilms made a video being like heyyyyy youtube can u do smthn abt this???? youtube, of course, did nothing in response. i honestly dont know how it ended but snipers still doing her thing and so is jack so ultimately nothing substantial came of it, i guess. i wasnt on stream when it happened but i was GLUED to twitter as it was unfolding since ive been a big jacksfilms fan since i was 12ish. crazy times

WAIT EDIT I FORGOT TO ADD MY OPINION OOPS LOL: FUCK SNIPERWOLF

also fun fact! ive had a couple convos with a council member (marshaldoesstuff u will always be famous) and i was in his discord FOREVER ago. like 2018 forever ago. got groomed in that server it was kinda goofy (NOT marshal's fault - nor the mods of said server, im still friends with a few of those mods and they were always so protective of me and were there to put a stop to everything, i love them dearly.) so yeah im kinda etched into jacksfilms lore in a way that VERY few remember. which is the case for a few different fandoms tbh.

second fun fact: jack and erin r house md fans (erin has a crush on house and jack has a crush on cuddy which is sooo based of them)

thank u for asking and thank u for reading :3 i luv jacksfilms

[sugar-omi]

Omg I love your mermaid!Cove! Can I request some more please? 🩵

surprisingly i have many ideas on mer!cove lol, i didnt think i did but this is so long!! so enjoy<3 tysm for the ask anon, im glad you liked my mer!cover hehe<33

tags : Fluff, headcanons

eta a bit on cove w sharp teeth <3

mmm... merman cove is so pretty even in human form

in human form, he has scales in a few places

down the side of his hips to the top of his thighs and a few straglers on his ankles

his scales are blue and green. they're iridescent as well, super pretty

the closer to his chest, the lighter his scales are but there's still some dark ones around his hips that are more like a navy blue

his fins are probably on the greener side as well, and im thinking more translucent too

i looked at some fanart, i think his tail would be more on the "capey" side as well

and if i can go as far as you link you to this beautiful kokomi fanart by nataliadsw on twitter: here

in fact i'd even say the fins are like in the art! very sparkly and pretty

how do we feel abt a purple to light blue gradient?

i was thinking abt his ears too n yk how some ppl draw mermaids with fins for ears or whatever?

i think his ears are long like an elf, but the tips have a blue-to-flesh gradient. maybe even

lots of pretty piercings!! has gold and pearls in his ears.

ETA BC I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT THIS

BUT COVE HAS SHARP TEETH <333

well, sharp canines anyway

kinda like this photo: here

imagine his lil sharp smile..... i love him

also don't ask me how he shifts. bc i have no idea

as far as I'm concerned he's like a fucking Dino capsule that you drop in water and inflates

LIKE A FUCKING ORBEEZ

okay that settles it, that's what we're going with LMAO

oh my god

before i forget.. mer cove is Big

know how i said orc!derek was like 7 foot?

cove is like 7 foot 2 or some shit

idk, but derek has competition!!

i don't think that's the normal height for mer-people either. well. not mermaids anyway. orcas and whales? for sure

he has claws as well!! he tries to keep them short bc he's clumsy but he has em

ykw i didn't considered webbed hands.... is that an idea?

...nah. i think his tail makes up for it since i imagine cove is missing some key mermaid qualities due to being part human

in his human form he has the claws as well

back to the big, 7 foot thing!!!

cove has big hands as well, of course in his mer form but also in his human form

even in his human form he's still over 6'5

lots of piercings in his ears. has studs in his ear lobes and has a chain connecting his helix and his stud on one of his ears

a chain of pearls on his wrist!!!!

oh. my. god.

waist chains.

of course he doesn't wear these nice shiny all at once lol, he's not into being blinged out like that, but wears any jewelry he's gifted all the time <33

wears waist chain's mostly when he's in human form, since he doesn't have any fins getting caught or evil pirates to worry about

!!! i almost forgot

he brings you many many gifts

he's like a puppy this way

you have jars of shells and sand, some sand different colors from certain beaches he's visited.

cove even brought you your own string of pearls, and you have mini towers of different colored sea glass

so many gifts that you have a whole book case for them and even then some things spill into other areas of the house

whether or not you met cove at a young age, i think you start to understand what all his different chirps and sounds mean

like a few quick chirps are a sign of happiness

i even imagine he purrs like a cat so he'll put your hand to his heart and let you feel the rumble of his chest

or he'll nuzzle your cheek and you can hear it in your ear <33

[bungoustraypups]

i just checked ur dnf criteria on ur carrd and i think what you said about mori is definitely interesting! im interested in why exactly he's your favourite character, if you're okay with telling me? /gen (i personally don't like mori because yosano is one of my absolute favourite characters and i cant forgive him for what he put her through, but i swear i dont hate people who like him. im actually very interested, and i would like to expand my view of mori)

also do u ship ranpoe?

ok so first of all: kudos to you for having a reason to dislike mori that is both personal and also correct. he did terrible things to yosano and that is canon! i'm also very glad that you're open to listening since a lot of ppl in this fandom aren't (the number of times i've been accused of being a child predator for liking mori is at least 5! this is solely from twitter tho not tumblr)

also yes i do ship ranpoe. just getting that outta the way before the mori moment begins

SO

mori is my favorite character mostly for reasons unknown to me. i just love him a lot. my first bsd fanfic i posted, which is also the first one i finished in march of this year, is a fukumori mainly mori-centric fic about the two of them having a baby, and over the course of writing that i fell deeply in love with his character, both the way i wrote him and how he is in canon.

he's so very clearly (in my eyes and the eyes of other mori enjoyers) traumatized it's almost painful. combining how he is solely in canon with the experiences of the MCs of vita sexualis and the dancing girl (i have not yet read these novels but my good friend geeg has talked abt it extensively) opens up a whole new dimension to this too.

in fact, as i've stated multiple times before: of the main BSD cast, the two who i think most likely have CSA trauma (there could def be others but this is just from what i know) are probably dazai and mori (notably, separate experiences divorced from each other, meaning i 100% do not believe mori SA'd dazai or anyone else for that matter given there's no canonical evidence to support this)

he's hot. and i like characters i think are hot (and ones i think aren't but yknow this gives him more points)

he's mysterious and we know very little about him

he's so fucking tragic as a character. a man canonically full of regrets, who never considers his own feelings but uses himself for the greater good of his city and his country, who is constantly forced to swallow his true feelings because he has to appear as a strong leader all the time and can only hope to express himself even a little bit when he's alone with his own ability? the agony and hells are real

like there's so much, this is just a few reasons why i like him bc i can't think of all of them off the top of my head but i'm happy to talk about him whenever

[razielwritesstuff]

Obey Me! Headcannons ~

I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci

BUT

I do have thoughts

This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs

He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers

I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK

Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.

I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile

I feel like he'd curse when angry

Idk.

Gay ass

Smells like pine trees or something

I think he'd have a fear of mascots

Like. character mascots.

Don't ask me okay

Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS

Am I WRONG????

We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...

Befriends the local crows.

There is so many he could be carried off

They all give him shiny shit to sell

Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model

He's attractive. Canonically.

Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros

This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"

He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games

The cast took a while to come off :)

Fav song is something CUNTY ik it

Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)

He's great :D

He is so trans to me as a transmasc.

He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like

I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is

“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”

How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.

Fav animal is SNAKES

Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados

He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times

Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism

He would be a brony

Lovable but a Bit Cringe

Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before

EXPERT at pirating shit

Would play Undertale.

Speedrunner !!

Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage

Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes

He's my malewife and he's everything to me.

Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game

He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus

Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters

His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me

He tweets in perfect grammar

He'd kill over a board game

Would cry over a cute cat video

WARRIOR CATS NERD

HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR

Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO

He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.

His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats

Loves Luigi

He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person

He'd also be a brony

The one that can analyze media properly

His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays

He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them

Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting

The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts

Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all

Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer

Smells like a different scented candle every week

Has that stereotypical gay accent

He's zesty

He's girlypop but we all knew that

Listens to Ayesha Erotica

Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"

He spills all the tea all the time

King shit

He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT

He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now

"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"

The one who painted everyone's nails

Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like

King at make up

Absolutely loves Ru Paul

Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now

Strawberry is his favorite flavor

He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise

He would HYPE. YOU. UP.

Has gum on him 24/7

Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)

IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me

VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is

Loves giving piggyback rides

Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders

Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders

He's a golden retriever. We knew this.

Surprisingly good at Just Dance

Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)

Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them

Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before

Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn

You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food

Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"

Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like

You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order

Smells like food-scented deodorant

He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong

Likes just picking people up and carrying them off

He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down

Favorite show is Bluey probably

Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something

Would kill for a klondike bar

Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language

Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind

Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!

Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath

Drinks a lot of milk

Blueberry is his favorite flavor

Lucid dreams a lot

He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like

Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)

Gummies are his favorite snack

He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL

He's girly pop in his own unique way

His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica

He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how

Chews on everything for sensory reasons

Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is

Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it

He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover

Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room

Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-

Anyways he's cool :)

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

im so sorry i had an ask abt what my fav T&K moments are but i deleted the draft and the ask dissapeared too... soooooo... not doing that ever again! thats okay.

i am fond of all the eras (which in my head are 1. them being on DR, 2. right after DR, 3. the 2 ssns of AS they were on (or at least Ks ssn), 4. leading up to the breaking point, 5. the "fallout", 6. reconnecting, 7. up until covid, 8. beginning of the lockdown, 9. leading up to their tour, 10. during tour, 11. after tour until the breakup(?), 12. and now idk whats going on again but we will be smarter looking back on this time in the future) for their own special weird whatevers that they had going on. but here r my fav ones:

1.

- T picking K despite her not really contributing to her team doing well again.

- the one moment i made my header bc its very cutesy.

- K being sooo offended abt T being eliminated both on DR and after in her yt series.

2.

- those interview(?) bits where they both say they'd kaikai w each other from their season.

- besties for cash.

- also their twitter posts from this timeperiod thirsting over eachother!??!?! (+ T on reddit).

3.

- the Pandora Boxx interview w them from maybe 2016 (its still up on fb!) (atp K being on AS2 was already announced ig?)

4.

- K getting those dolls from Andrew for T (no matter how cursed they may or may not be).

- T&Ks HS reunion (them twirling around together☹)

6.

- the anecdote of them going on a hike where T says she forgives K and K's gratefulness for it.

8.

- honestly my all time fav comfort thing(s) they ever did were the pods that barely had video to them yet and were filmed at like Ts place or in hotelrooms on the floor. like. the vibes were immaculate and no matter what is going on that bunch of episodes just bring inner peace to me. forever grateful for them <33

9.

- anytime they talk abt eachother to random ppl basically unprompted (see: K's Pearl makeover, T on the latest PitStops, T on her own channel to guests) ((its just so casual and domestic)).

- i think timeperiod-vise Ks fakeout of a 40th bday party falls here. and the fact that T dressed up like that... and that pic of them and Orville in the bathroom...

10.

- all of the little moments of the live tour. there was so much going on, it was very intense and oh god i miss it soooo much. i esp loved their days in germany (or europe in general). the hugging the touching the bloopers the breeding jokes!!! insanity.

- THE VIDEO OF THEM THANKING THE SUBSTACK FUNDERS(?) AT THAT BUSSTOP.

- all the stories of them being on the tourbus or even the day they had an accident w one vechicle and they said they were worried abt each other (i only dare to list it here bc nobody got hurt as far as i know) ((did this actually happen? i think they only talked abt it like once and that would be weird and out of character for them so maybe i imagined it?))

11.

- the pod they say how they'd stop whatever they were doing just to go help the other and how they love each other the most!!

- THE TAMMIE POD.

- T saying "she is my bitch" abt K backstage (its really just that she isnt usually posessive over K so vocally. and then she was. and i was like okay wow!).

- SHE IS GOD TO ME!!!!!!!

- T straddling K on the netflick couch numerous times.

+ all of the "waterloo"s and "time after time"s.

(+ T writing Soldier and Ghost on the moon and singing You can come around if u want to right after musing abt whether we also "have a friend who we r just like 'well u could have been the loml but we met under circumstances that made us only friends so whatever!'".)

[sourcoded]

Okay alt timeline kenshi has been spinning around in my head like a microwave soo here's my personal take on his childhood and back story etc.

( most of this is stuff i've posted on twitter but i doubt half of you follow me on there LOL and no one really saw it anyways... sooo ill put it here to, also no character limit so i get to explain shit in detail yippie!)

tw for child abuse mention under-cut

* He was isolated and secluded for most of his childhood due to his family's general paranoia about outsiders and there family linage etc which from that point on made it tremendously difficult for him to connect with his peers. He was home schooled, only ever allowed to mingle with the few children among his extend family ( but unfortunately most of them were already older teens so he barely got much fun out of hanging around them any how.) * But at the same time he grew up way to fast due to the irresponsibility of the adults around him and eventually was forced into the world at a young age. His mother had rather poor health and was horrifically codependent, his father was mostly uncaring of this, neglectful to both her and kenshi's needs but especially controlling, and saw kenshi as nothing more but a tool to orchestrate his vision of the future for there clan and practically worked him to death whenever it came to training. * This endless cycle went on from the age's of 7-16, up until his mother finally succumbed to her poor health and passed. grief stricken and traumatized kenshi finally made the decision to run away, but not without his father putting up a fight. after a tireless battle that almost ended his life, still kenshi came out on top and ironically beating his father with everything he's ingrained in him for all his life, but whether or not his father survived is unknown, kenshi presumed he died from his injuries and kept on his way immediately after. * kenshi picked up any work he could to support himself afterwards, moving place to place, and for the longest time not really sure on what he's searching for exactly, his past still weighing on him heavy. though he found genuine connections through proving his skills and finding worthy opponents and such, he still had a tendency of keeping most ppl at arms length.. more intricate hc's: - due to his mom's codependency and his fathers neglect he is CHRONICALLY independent and tends to bite off way more than he can chew. - He's super avoidant of big emotions and reactions, almost having a sort of flat effect. which can make him appear rather detached, cold and brief, or when in better moods he puts up a front that's rather witty, dry and even a little bit of a mischievous sense of humor. - he is vry autistic if this wasn't already obvious! ( all kenshi's are fight me..) he lives on a rather strict routine for himself and again due to the abuse this made the chronic independence even worse. - guilt and grief eat him up a lot, its super hard for him to navigate either, with suchin's death, he had a tremendously difficult time confronting these things with takeda and finding closure in a healthy manner, so imo this is why he chose not to visit ..i truly believe he wanted nothing but the absolute best for takeda, but again with his circumstances things were just to much (but esp in the moment with red dragon on his tail lmao..?) ( and i esp feel like he didn't want to hinder takeda's growth in anyway either)...big believer in sometimes the parent being there is WORSE! so imo i think this is along the lines of what kenshi was dealing with all those years he left takeda with hanzo. ( i'm super passionate abt this can you tell ...sorry this got so wordy LOL) - last but not least i believe suchin was among the vry few people he let in and became THAT close with, prior to that he's only been with like a few men here and there but only 1 of them were sort of long term.

[j2zara]

Hiiiiii~ 2, 4, 7, 10, 22, 24, 30 for the fic writer game! 💖

Hiiiii friend! Sorry this took all day my brain is dead rn

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Lol i'm banging my head against the wall getting killed by LJ3porter fic so i'm like. Right in Girlfail Ellie J4 POV hell rn!!!! She's so fun and i do think writing for her is both easy and hard in that i enjoy doing it (and tbh i think i default to her pov usually when im in LJ3 mode) but i worry i make her way too sopping wet and pathetic. Which she can be pathetic but i worry im going like. way too sad wattpad girl with her.

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

OK! I've talked about a few different things before so i'm gonna. Well. I'm two sentences into twelfth night j2 being sent to pursue Jace on Porter's behalf fic so i feel like that counts as "not written yet." I also talk about how. I think doing a reincarnation au for LJ3 or the clones in general would be so fun. i'm not sure what kind tho, the version in which they're all new teachers at aguefort is so fun and kinda stuck in my brain now. Plus i wanna write Barbarian teacher Tiefling!Ellie x Sorcerer teacher Aasimar!J3 like so so so so bad i think it would be such a funny way to have them never escaping the torment nexus. I also think it would be fun to write something abt LJ3 in their friends with benefits era. Or maybe one of their more official "date nights". I think if they got into doing roleplay in the bedroom is would be so so so so so so fucking funny. Like. Pretending the other is stranger they picked up at the bar or something.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Tbh i kinda would like to find a perfect writing font? I tend to default Arial and it doesn't look perfect its honestly kinda offputting but. my strategy is. When I feel like my writing looks so so so busted i switch to Verdana which is closer to the ao3 font so i can better visualize how it's gonna look. And that helps a bit. Idk im sick.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

That's a good question. Actually? A couple years i think? I abandoned my old talentswap for a couple years before picking it up again in college. (tbh my current ch 3.3 is STILL unfinished so i abandoned it again). Tbh i'm not good at letting drafts rest and returning back to them. I either try to power through or end up abandoning it which i don't love

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I try not to but like. Yeah. I'm stressed basically every time. I joke that when i write original fiction that i have a hoard of angry twitter pearlclutchers that live in my head ready to rip everything i do to shreds but i try not to listen to them. But i'm worried every time. This has nothing to do with how i feel about you guys tbh i wildly underestimate your guys kindness and goodwill just bc im very hard on myself

I was anxious abt IYWD (I was worried it was gonna come across as too soft or too apologetic). I was anxious that nobody would take to Dyke!Jace/Zara in Who Can Blame a Girl, or i wouldn't be able to sell it

I probably MOST anxious of all about Almost (I was SO stressed that ppl were not gonna vibe at all with Bluejay or not gel with the whole "what if the clones were actual characters" , "born to love porter cliffbreaker, forced to do menial tasks for jaceprime" etc etc thought experiment. and i was so so so so so so scared about dropping the nickname Bluejay i was worried it was gonna be completely stupid and i was completely off the mark)

I was anxious abt Biggest Lie (i was worried it wasn't hot enough or maybe too violent or that it was maybe too shamelessly just like. smut lol).

And after Almost i was probably second most anxious about Stay / Leave. It was just a wip i really struggled with and idk it was so.... insular i guess? b/c it was so niche and the wip ended up being SO LONG and kinda emotional and sappy? Like again i think i was having the same doubts i had abt j2 in which i was like what if i can't sell people on this relationship. What if i've failed to convey something sincere. (that one was crazy tho bc i really really really really tried to release it and not care what happened bc i knew only a handfull of ppl would read it and i really really really tried to be cool and for a while i was but it was just hard i was so nervous and i don't think it was anyones reaction is really was just my nerves that were putting me in such a bad and upset mood and then over the next day or two i. I made this joke earlier that like. I PROMISE and hope i'm not overinflating my ego when i say this like i'm perfectly aware that i just write silly smut online but it really was so so so so funny. to see everyone practically overnight be like.... wait. Are LJ3..... in love??? And now LJ3 is like such an integral part of clone lore.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

That's a good question bc i feel like. When i'm stuck in one medium i tend to just try and distract myself with another so when im bad at drawing i write and when im bad at writing i draw. But thats not exactly recharging. Tbh i do think i need to find better things in my routine that rejuvenate me i think i haven't been particularly good at treating myself well lately

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

I'm cringe and usually will shill if you want divinity (you're gonna have to go through me) as one of my favorite things i've ever written. But im also extremely confident most of y'all have already read it. I'm very very hard on myself so i swing between thinking the things i make suck and also being like. Fairly proud of all of them.

But idk it was my first ambitious thing i wrote and FINISHED in a long time and honestly? I do think its slightly better than the rest bc the iterations are all reliant on the original so they're very intertextual and repetitive which isn't BAD but. The extra work it took to make IYWD work makes it feel different to me. There's a LOT of stuff in it that i'm proud of that i honestly kind of miss b/c Porter is so smitten for Jace in a way he hasn't been in things i've written in a long time. I'm a softy who likes when jaceporter are soft and kinda in love... sue me... And like. i always feel so self congratulatory talking about the Loving To the Point of Invention Detect Thoughts + Teleport but i really felt good about coming up with that. And i still like the flashbacks a lot. It always feels so embarrassing to admit that i like. Get emotional thinking about the flashback of them on the bed. Sometimes i tailor make a scene just for me. "I promise i'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again" "as a paladin or a barbarian" "both" is like. Such a scene just for me. And I think the ending is good too. "I'll take it. I'll take it all" just felt so. fitting. It's so him getting to hear himself say to porter "i'll take the thing with you that is broken and fucked and full of compromises even if it has to end". Sigh. Sometimes you're an english major and you agonize over being a good writer for like two decades and realize that you might not be as horrible as you think.

(For the record. i think if i were to rank what i've written for fantasy high from fav to least fave, i'd say IYWD, Biggest Lie, Stay / Leave, Who Can Blame a Girl, Almost, Tell Me How, and it feels weird to put Almost that low bc i do like it. Tbh i regret making it so short i think i could've pushed it further)

Anyway!!! This got long winded as hell. Thanks for the asks they were fun to do!

Send me Fic Writer Asks! / Here are the questions!

[its-koili]

hey guys. sorry for being gone for so long. heres an update

(tw for: mention of violence / gore, general distress, mental health issues)

(tw below)

.

basically i had a huge mental health crisis. i was having 24/7 constant rolling panic attacks from may of 2023 to january of this year. my last big meltdown was in early february. been processing a lot of CSA trauma and some recent trauma that ive gone through. i think i talked about my panic attacks before leaving social media but idk i dont remember. isolated myself from absolutely everybody.

the main thing that made me leave was that while i was keeping up to date on the g3n0c1d3 (censoring bc idk how tumblr is about it), and when i was looking in the replies / related of the awareness videos, i came across 4 accounts dedicated to using gore for clicks / shock. not videos of the g3n0c1d3 (thank god bc of how they were using the vids) but of unfortunate every day situations and cam footage. like, the kind of stuff you could see on liveleak back in 2010. just out in the open on twitter. they all had usernames like "(insert number here) ways to die)". they were all content farms for click/ad revenue. it was too much it was a huge trigger and i had a full on meltdown. the bluecheck ppl on twitter were using the replies of the videos people uploaded for raising awareness to upload mindless g0re for money. the fact that peoople have 0 compassion for human life sent me into a spiral that i couldnt get out of. (i reported 3 out of the 4 accounts i was able to and 3 got taken down but 1 is still up and it odesnt seem to be uploading the hardcore g0r3 anymore. so thats good. but that was one of the reasons i left social media. ive been keeping up to date w the news but thats it. i left my socials entirely and ive only been on my phone to look up recipes or to use my computer for media research groceries and gaming and shows

that was the main thing that pushed me to leave. i just couldnt take it anymore. during the start of my crisis last year, i was planning on taking a small break, but all of that pushed me over the edge and i dropped everything. after that, my issues got worse and i dont remember most of it. thankfully. but i couldnt bring myself to talk to anybody. i isolated myself and just. laid in bed. but im doing better so i guess thats good

on another topic ive beeen nervous to post this on main but during all of this (ive talked abt tihs a little bit on my priv before i left) i found out that im a system a long while back. my dad (one of my abusers) had/has DID and it terrified me to think that i could be anything like him. i also knew cereal abuser who pretended to be a system to get away with stuff/abusing their friends (and then years later admitted that they werent a system and siad that systems are fake.) LOTS of tears. lots of crying over this. was in denial for a few weeks. cried some more. then eventually came to terms with it.

i dont want to post abt my system online too much bc i dont want to act like this is some fun trendy thing bc its not. it makes day to day living very hard (some lighter/funnier issues that make it hard are: arguing with an alter bc YOU dont know where THEY put YOUR MEDS, not being able to cook because one alter can and the other cant, your art style not being consistent because their styles are different). i dont want to really make it a massive part of my identity online bc its not a big deal! theres just Multiple Little Guys in my brain. so. im a system! im the same but....this explains why i dont remember talking to certain people SUIDHUFHX. i always felt bad. makes conversing with online friends hard especially if icons/usernames are changed. ill make a separate post about this someday thatll go into detail a bit more.

i went years thinking it was just "kinning" but it wasnt lol. it turns out that your personality completely shifting, tastes in food / music / art / media changing, the way you walk / talk dress changing, and having complete memory blackouts when you """"kin shift"""" isn't normal. /lh (dw ive had a lot of time to come to terms with this)

but basically right now ive been spending time getting to,,know myself?? iive been using simplyplural for myself for several months and im uncovering a lot of my memories / trauma ect bc alters can write down what they need to in the chat. so i can go back later and read it. its been v helpful!

i will not be coming back just yet. i have no interest in using social media rn or drawing or writing unfortunately. ive been working on my original stuff here and there but i havent been drawaing fandom stuff bc im not hyperfixating on a fandom.

also. some things have come up. im not going to say anything until the party in question is stable/safe/comfortable before i even suggest anything for context (i dont plan on talking abt anything at all unless they start talking publicly). right now i am helping someone through abuse. their wellbeing is my #1 concern. i'll think about other things after im sure theyre okay.

i dont really have any resolutions as to how things are going but i do feel better and im not having as many panic attacks. i dont really know where im going with this now sorry. just trying to brush over the basic topics before i go. idk if anybody remembers me bc ive been gone for so long so idk if im just talking into the wind but if i am thats fine honestly this is helping me reorganize my thoughts (i type these vents out a lot on docs so i probably wont remember posting this hiudhvu)

other than that. i dont draw or write anymore. i think in the past 6 months ive drawn like....5 things. its. weird. im completely disconnected from fandoms now. coming up to a full year of not having a hyperfixation at all.

my bday was on the 6th. im 27 now im very old (everybody forgot it asides from my husband (and the people he reminded) n my abuser). ive been trying to cook and bake more and ive been playing video games again. planning on getting back into drawing soon and working on my original stuff. when i come back im planning on redesigning my profiles and updating my social media bios and stuff bc theyre so old. also ill make a section on my carrd for my system. there you go theres some positivity to the update nxfjdfjh. sorry if i dont seem very enthused im very tired so typing has been a chore hfuidshuifv.

sorry that this was a lot or if it seems disjointed i was trying to put down as much into this as possible without making it too long

bye!!! see u all soon!

[thatmomentwhen345]

Hi I know I never post personal stuff on here but I’m just having disconnected thoughts and I feel like you can say anything on tumblr and someone will connect with it, plus it has to do with pokemon so it’s relevant to ppl who follow me (presumably)

Don’t tell anyone I want it to be a surprise to the people who will actually see it but I’m working on a video right now of me ranking all of the different Pokeani dub opening songs and

HALT here is some important context before we continue

1. Last year (2023) I spent 7 months binging the entire pokeani

2. I livetweeted the whole thing for some reason (and subsequently left Twitter a few months later)

Anyway, so I’m scrolling through my ridiculously long twt thread to get screenshots and clips and be reminded of important plot beats so I can talk abt them in the video and I’m reliving some of these moments and

Yesterday I was looking for the episode where May loses her second chance at winning the Grand Festival during the battle frontier

I found it and I rewatched the end so I could record the clip I wanted.

Ngl, that was one of the strongest emotional reactions I had during my initial watchthrough. May’s breakdown was just so raw and EARNED and idk I haven’t cried a lot in the last few months but rewatching that bit over a year later that same powerful emotional reaction came back and it was like. Really cathartic

Last year was a rollercoaster for me and the Hoenn gang (Ash, Brock, Max, May) was with me during a somewhat traumatic period of the year but I don’t think about them as often as I do characters from other regions (namely the Kalos gang who I have a nostalgic connection to). But god I miss them and that period of my watchthrough (but not the period of my life LMAO)

And today I was reading my tweets from the Sun and Moon and Journeys period of the binge, reliving all the touching moments and it’s really weird because I dont think I’ve really processed much of the latter part of last year bc it was another weird time for me (turning 18, getting my first job, starting my first year of college) and

I’ve scrolled through that thread so many times since I finished that endeavor. But it just doesn’t compare to actually going back to the episodes themselves and seeing the little details my brain forgot or my thread didn’t mention. In fact, I think because I made the thread my brain chose to forget about everything that ISNT in the thread because it takes up less space in my head that way, but now that I’m committing so much brainpower to it again and actually rewatching some of those episodes is finally actually taking me back to last year and helping me process some of the stuff that happened? Or I could be bullshitting but idk

I said once my binge of the anime was over I was going to do so many creative things in relation to it but I think by the time I was finished my brain had had enough and so I kinda moved on quicker than I thought I would, or even wanted to. But now I’m finally revisiting those creative ideas I’m being reminded of just how much that stupid adventure meant to me and especially the characters yknow

The May example is just one of them. There are plenty of episodes I could go back to and the same thing would happen but I’m not ready for all that. I was just curious enough about the May clip because I didn’t remember it and because May basically didn’t show up at all after Sinnoh aside from a few second long cameo in Journeys but Fuck. It was even more heart wrenching than I remembered. Genuinely one of the realest moments in the show. I miss May, I miss the Hoenn gang. I miss all of the characters. I miss the escapism and the emotions

Anyway that’s enough rambling. I needed to talk about this somewhere and I think it would too out of place in the very first video I’ve ever done where I’m actually talking.

I know I said I livetweeted the entire thing but it was on my priv twitter and it was probably extremely annoying for the people who did follow me over there so like even though I was constantly talking about it, I didn’t really get to talk To anyone about it and I think that’s another part of why so much if it has gone unprocessed so if anyone is interested in hearing more of my thoughts on that experience I’m eager to share. And I suppose I’ll let you guys know when the video goes up if you’re interested. I’m planning to post it September 8th (2024), the anniversary of the English dub ending so keep an eye out if you’re interested

Thanks for listening tumblr people

[fecto-forgo]

Zan Partizanne :)

First impression:my amino bestie told me briefly abt her but since i didnt own a switch i ended up getting 3DS team clash, so we immediately went to talking abt taranza lol

Impression now:if the last seven months ever since january 14th havent left this clear enough for anyone i am absolutely utterly obsessed w her.shes my everything my girlie pop my poor little thing my funny mean girl my silly rabbit.if she were in any other franchise shed be up there in utterly inherently doomed characters.shes so lucky shes in the friendship game series.

Favorite moment:i love the silly pose she has going on before her first boss fight, but the cutscene after it is so funny, but also the scene where hyness smacks her away is literally the defining moment in leaving KSAs relationship theme clear.can i say everything i have seen i wanna say everything i have seen

Idea for a story:theres soooo much stuff you can explore w her...her overly attached relationship w hyness, her backstory w the suicide attempt n its relationship to her ending up the most loyal member of a cult, why shes so rude towards others on the official twitter, her postgame development after being in a death cult for god knows how long, her relationship w her sisters seeming a bit one sided depending on how you read her never being bought up when it comes to the other two, shes so cool n interesting i love her.sm to think abt.perfect for autism

Unpopular opinion:i kindaaa.feel ppl take her rly at face value in a way ngl? i feel shes just the "the serious loyal one" in stuff p often (or the mean one but i forgive that bc zan being mean is hilarious) idk the lack of attention to the degree of loyalty she actually has to the point of tolerating anything hyness does to her just annoys me a bit.yeah shes the loyal one but not to a good nice healthy degree !!! (ik its ironic to complain abt how the cult in general is portrayed by fans after ive mostly complained abt the ppl that straight up ignore them but i am annoying n never satisfied X3)

Favorite relationship:from canon its gotta be w hyness.bc its so bad LMAO.absolutely utterly unbalanced n unhealthy, once again the peak of KSAs relationship theme, from kirbys neverending friendship that helped former foes improve as ppl to zans one sided love n loyalty for a man who treats her like garbage bc he saved her years ago.the themes man the themes.he literally sacrifices herself after throwing her n her sisters around like weapons n girl was still there looking for him in the extra mode.the standards r underground for you miss partizanne.

for "would it be cool if they interacted or what?":taranza n susie tbh.taranza parallels her story w hyness through his own w sectonia n susie is the absolute opposite of her, so i think either of them would give a rlyyy interesting conversation.guy who was just a little less loyal to the point of realizing when it had gone too far (tbf it took sectonia trying to kill him.which still leaves taranza w higher standards than zan lmao) n girl who pretended to be loyal so bad when she hated her boss the whole time n took fixing his behavior into her own hands.theyre such a fun little trio of fucked up ppl

Favorite headcanon:instead of a serious one ill just say im never giving up my insistence to draw her w yellow eyes hyness get her n flamberge contacts right fucking now.why do the sisters all share the exact same eye color.susies similar looking n theyre blue too r they part of some blue eyed species whats going on.why r they blue kumazaki why did you do this to me

[autogynocrat]

going on anon instead of commenting because im closeted but abt the they/them degendering post. ur very correct but you also imply that trans men dont share this experience. i am a trans man and have also experienced they them degendering. im not trying to be rude, correct you, or disuade the conversation from acknowledging trans women. im also not denying it if you are trying to say that this is a WORSE issue for trans women - because it could be, i wouldn't know. i just think it does a disservice to the conversation to act like degendering is a phenomenon specific only to women. ignore this if that was just a vent post and you wherent actually trying to start a discussion, im sorry for bothering you if so. to reiterate this isn't meant to be a "making this about me" thing, it's just that ur post says directly that only trans women experience this, and that isn't true in my personal experience so I just wanted to say that bc i think that separating trans men & women from eachother TOO much in these sorta discussions can be detrimental to progress because it can create a divide that pits us against each other when truthfully we are in the same boat, even if many of our experiences differ. idk if uve maybe had an experience where a trans men invalidated u for this, and that's why u said only trans women ever get it. if that's the case it's really unfortunate- people should listen to others when they share their experiences. but it likely means that person just hasnt had that happen to him or dosent perceive it as an issue (i feel like most trans ppl would be bothered by it, but everybody's different). im sorry that people aren't respecting ur pronouns, i hope that things get better for you!

yes i think i have clarified my position after reading the tags and also reddit people accusing me of thinking trans men are oppressing me(????) its not that i dont think it happens to transmascs its that in my experience when a trans woman gets a punitive they(often during a bit dramatic internet event where she's being trial by fire'd), if she or other transfems point out that people are taking away her gender as a punishment, in my experience and observations more often than not she will be told she's crazy even by a lot of people within the community. im not saying it can't happen to transmascs im saying when it happens to transfems being dogpiled or punished nobody seems to care or notice bc its "neutral". people on tumblr have been way more chill with this and seem to understand my point but on reddit and Twitter and other spaces i see this happen a lot

basically what i was trying to vent about wasn't saying "this never happens to anyone else transmascs totally always get their gender respected" but "when this happens to trans women, we seem to be the only ones who notice it is happening to us, and people will call us crazy for noticing" that's what i meant by invisible. i don't think im erasing or denying trans mascs by saying that, i dont talk about transmasc bc i don't have life experience as one, i just have experience knowing that when this specific thing happens to trans women we get told by people of every background that it didn't happen.

hopefully this clarifies it better i dont know how much better i can say it im not making universal dogmatic statements im making experiential ones ones people keep assuming bad things about me for this post and it's frustrating

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

i’m talking abt yarichin bitch club. read more'd bc this is SO fucking long

while lurking on twitter, i came across a thread of ppl discussing the older yaribu members’ views on consent. it was a bit weird, i genuinely thought it was antis having a normal one abt yaribu at first until i realized everyone in the conversation had ybc themed @s and either had antis dni in their bio or 🌈 🍖 in their display name

the general consensus was that all the older members would be willing to intervene/retaliate if someone was being harassed/assaulted except yuri and akemi, and they then proceeded to say akemi is wishy washy because he DID do something when shikatani was being blackmailed by his teacher, but at the same time he went through with gang banging tamura despite his negative reaction to it. the thread took place in 2021 (literally jan 1st lol) and ik a handful of chapters have came out since then, but i find that their observations of akemi still hold up well enough because there hasn’t been much development for him.

i do want to play devil’s advocate tho. since reading yaribu and rereading it at least 4 times since october i gotta say akemi is among my faves. i don’t dislike any of the cast fr but he’s so… interesting that ive found myself enamored with him since i think about him a lot while trying to make sense of his character and where he’s going in the story. he loves itome and cares for him a lot, but not enough to stay monogamous; he says he’s definitely over his ex, but he still keeps the picture they took on their anniversary in his wallet; he’s very perceptive when it comes to those he cares about and he’s not afraid to confront them about whatever is bothering them, but he doesn’t care enough to stop a gang bang when someone isn’t into it. there’s a lot of conflicting things with his words and actions and i love it.

a big point in that conversation is that akemi hasn’t been shown interacting with the 1st years a lot and that he kinda… doesn’t give a shit about them, but i disagree. akemi cares for all of the club members, he’s just very dedicated to the club. i think he also cares for the older members a little more because he’s been around them longer and he’s probably had sex with them all at least once (the only older member we haven’t seen him sleeping with is shikatani, but from his introduction for shikatani it’s likely that they have had sex).

akemi is a pretty polarizing character in the fandom and i find that, especially in today’s fandom climate, characters like him who are ‘wishy washy’ and aren’t an open book tend to be the discourse topic. i’ve seen ppl talk about him like he’s an actual villain and not… a messy character. he’s perceptive and blunt and he cares about his friends, but at the same time he’s very selfish and he does what he wants.

akemi wouldn’t (and hasn’t!) stood by as one of his friends were being harassed. before tamura’s gang bang he even said that he wasn’t serious about it, but because of his taunting and disobedience he went through with it.

anyways, none of the yaribu members are inherently good or evil, akemi and yuri are just characters who are harder to read and therefore are inevitably going to be topics of discourse for their own reasons (rapist!evil!villainous!akemi vs ableist!rapist!yuri). ppl are dumb lmao