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#and makes me think I lost my keys.
readingwriter92 · 4 months
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Anxiety is cancelled from now on. I’ve had too much of it today
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clouvu · 1 year
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I love them your honor
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blackh0letempest · 3 months
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To the kids currently going through abuse from their parents, keep pushing forward. You will get out. You will. It feels huge, it's a lot to think about. You will probably make mistakes. But there is not a single living independent adult that hasn't made mistakes in handling their finances, taking care of themselves, etc. The sooner you get out, the sooner you can start to learn who you are when you aren't being abused, and that self is deeply worth knowing. You are worth the effort.
#I don't say this lightly. I was homeless for a while. It was absolutely horrible.#But going homeless let me travel to the other side of the country in my car. I lost a lot but I've gained everything.#Research where you go next#What the cities are like and if there's support for you nearby#LGBT outreach or community mental health outreach programs are excellent#I don't advocate going homeless because being homeless and not knowing of you'll eat again is horrible.#But if it happens to you get to a library and see what outreach is in the area.#The hardest part is getting an apartment of your own cause shits expensive. And work is hard when you've got trauma#My tip for that#Is that you can qualify for more work than you think.#If retail feels like it's peeling your skin off then apply for office positions over and over again until something picks you up#It might take months. Don't lose heart if it does.#You deserve better. Keep pushing for things to be better#Being a young adult is hard. Being a kid is hard. Older folks can be really dismissive and unkind.#And im sorry for how people will underestimate you.#Try to get food stamps if your struggling financially. And Medicare. The state makes is horribly difficult to get on either thru#The sheer beurocracy of it#If the deny you#Appeal it.#Sometimes appealing is as simple as showing up#But it helps to have some key points written down in case you need to defend yourself.#It sounds scarier than it is.#If you have an anxiety disorder I know that's not much comfort#But as someone who has been an abused child and managed to navigate out of that awful situation#Despite the adversity you will likely face#You have a bright future ahead of you.#The healing will be the hardest part#But you are worth every moment#I sincerely wish the best for you.#And I hope you don't face as much adversity as I did.
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active-mind-15 · 5 months
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Masaomi being too strict of a father with the activities his son did led to him not experiencing the canon dad event of trying to keep your family together at a theme park in this essay I will—
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birlwrites · 8 months
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WELCOME BACK BIRL!!!!! i've missed seeing you on my dash!! i really love when you answer asks, i feel like it helps make your bcu feel so much more full and i love reading what you have to say <3<3
THANK YOU!!!! yeah i really needed the break afjslghsdkjf, i was stressing myself out so much with trying to grind out fic and stay on top of my inbox and i was also just like, exhausted from work, and tbh i was getting worried that if i kept trying to force myself to Create Content™ i'd burn out and not want to work on any of my stories anymore
so!! took a break from asks, took a break from ttdl (which was actually more just to finish lachrimae, but i do think that having an Unplanned Hiatus was good for me bc it reminded me that this is not my job and i can hit the pause button whenever i want ajfslhkhgkjsdf), got some breathing room, and then today i felt ready to be back so! here i am!
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sn4kebites · 2 years
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i perceive bkg as demisexual and people are free to write him however but a lot of his character just does not make sense to me unless i view him as primarily gay
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missshame · 10 months
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Fuck it I'm gonna learn to play the guitar AND sing then
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moonofiron · 8 months
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Sweet sweet sweet children I am sorry I am so sorry you know things you shouldn't and there's no going back I wish we had done better
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bunnyb34r · 7 months
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Nearing 60 items rn my dudes 🙃
At the very least we're not doing the move until BaldBastard gets back from vacation so yay?
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maddogmp3 · 1 year
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sotd.
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arolesbianism · 20 days
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In other news Odile crashed my game during her friend quest. Smiles in pain.
#rat rambles#stars posting#I just want to get to act 4 alreadyyyyyy#I have. plans.#and while I know theres more stuff I can do rn in act 3 I would rather save most of it for later#anyways. time to hope I saved before starting the family quests#odile saw I was trying to speedrun everyone's dialogue and said nuh uh try again#also Im glad I got the coin scene like the absolute millisecond act 3 started I was worried Id have to sit around for forever#speaking of the coin I got a fun glitch with it earlier#I was near the favor tree and got the coin dialogue where a glitch rewind effect happens#and the tree jumpscared the hell out of me by suddenly getting stretched out and huge covering most of the screen#I had to walk out and back into the are to fix it it covered like half the area#it genuinely slightly scared me for the split second that it wasnt obviously a glitch lol#gotta love the universe breaking itself to try to keep itself together#one thing that did surprise me is just how much optional content I've never seen before there is#I knew there was stuff that most ppl who play the game dont ever see but I guess I forgot most ppl dont obsessively shove their faces into#walls until smth happens#love making my sif grapple with his lost past the absolute millisecond I am allowed to every time a new scene is opened up to me#the lost contry scenes are all easily my favorite scenes in the game and its honestly not even close#theyre both very important to me and also just incredibly well written and interesting#its low key what boosted sif from being a character I have a complicated relationship with to character I adore#to be clear the complicated stuff is all in the rest of the self recognition I face when I see him spiral#you see jackie is recognition through the other (derogatory) but like in a god damnit you have adhd dont you sorta way#while sif is more like. hoo boy. uh oh.#which is ironic because jackie is the one of the two whos actually a terrible person lol#you see I like picking her apart while with sif it feels like theyre picking me apart which is significantly more uncomfortable#I forgives them I just need to not think abt them for too long at any given time or I start feeling depressed lol
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doubleedgemode · 2 months
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I want to draw human Paracelsus and upload it here but
The horrors (my intrusive thoughts) :(
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radellama · 3 months
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Picky but.. when watching a docco/docco style video, while it can be interesting to hear about how you ended up in contact with certain relevant people, or how there were plans to contact people that fell through, or that you couldn't get in contact with them... I hate when the filmmaker harps on and on about their 'investigative' process and try to dramatise it.
Sorry but. I don't really want a 15-20+ min detour of you lamenting over trying to get in contact with certain people when all that's happened is you sent an email and didn't get a reply.
#not gonna single out any particular vid but I'm reminded as I watch a docco style vid on YouTube about niche/lost anime#and i hate it every time. it's a self insertion of the filmmaker trying to make their efforts shown or signalling for attention and shit#and i get it!! there's a lot that goes unappreciated and unnoticed when you're making videos and such#but if you're presenting your videos in a documentary style that's one thing.. calling yourself a documentarian is another#it's amateurish and uninteresting!!! it's a complete detour and distraction when you're talking about yourself in this way#like.. sigh. nuance. i know I've personally enjoyed some doccos/docco style where we hear about the process as they present it#there ARE ways to make it interesting and keep it relevant#but when you're essentially whining that all your cursory Google searches and 'deep dives' into people's LinkedIn's and IMDb pages#isn't yeilding the response you want... SHUT UP PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE#this is the kind of detail that makes it look amateurish (imo) and is probably making it harder for you to get in contact lol#ANYONE can go looking through a person's online presence. ANYONE can find an email or a phone number and try to get in contact#your whole thing as a docco maker is to do that work and curate it in an interesting and informative way so i don't have to lollll#like i know I'm being picky. there's plenty of awesome videos on YouTube made by YouTubers who have put effort in#but there's such a difference between the standard of professionalism and ethics when you're doing it on YouTube#it's not the only thing that frustrates me BUT it's one of the key things i notice that's indicative of the docco not being of quality#for what i want to view it for#it's especially frustrating to me when the topic is genuinely interesting and i want to see how you present it to me but you're wasting time#when you go on and on about yourself!!#there was one yt docco covering an artist and their body of work that i thought was interesting! but#they were already getting on my nerves even tho i stuck it out for a few hours... AND THEN THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT THEMSELVES#FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT. I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU COMPARE YOUR AMATEURISH SHIT TO THIS ARTIST#save it for the back end or an after credits or in some section that's for people who want to hear about you#don't grind the pacing of the docco to a halt cause you're desperate for attention and recognition. you're ruining the docco lol#also yes I'm aware that this is harsh coming from someone who's not even made a docco of any sorts but#if i do get into making it i expect this kind of feedback if i go awry and these are the standards I'll be holding myself to#WHERE ARE THE STANDARDS IN THE YT DOCCO SCENE!? there are a few great creators but there's so much shit#to me i think it overall grates cause like. it's not always being made with the intent to share.. it's made to get clout#and that's a philosophy i just disagree with#anyway wherever. pretentious film bro rant quota filled. i dont wanna hear about how 'difficult' it was waiting for an email that never came#rads talks
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caterpillarinacave · 4 months
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Now is not the time for jumping into things rashly. You thank the friendly next worlder for their offer, but decline their couch space for now. Instead you ask them if they mind bringing the books they had mentioned to the door in exchange for the berries of your world. They accept with an air of bemusement and take their leave with a promise to return as soon as they can.
You watch as they walk away, before leaning through the door, slightly, and blowing your whistle on the other side. Nothing happens for a few minutes, so you shut the door. Waiting a moment you open it back up only to find what was once a well lit sky has darkened to night. Confused you close and open the door quickly, the sky is still dark but now a moon rests in the space that had been clear before. Time is definitely in flux between the doorway when closed...the mechanics of how that works is too confusing to parse out right this minute though, so you pack up your things to head home again and close the door.
When you reach the house you greet your friends, they seem pleased to see you, though not as if it's been a great deal of time, rather like they're happy you're back at the end of the day.
You help set up for dinner, each of you chatting about your day. It's nice, comfortable. You check them both discretely during the conversation, they both seem the same as always, not really older than when you met as you had worried what with time alterations now on the table, enjoying themselves and winding down after a day of chores around the house, familiar laugh lines and wrinkles from the older one as they describe some happening in town the other day, quick smiles and careful attention from the younger who glances at you from time to time with amusement at the story being told. It's...calming. Like the air itself is cocooning you in softness.
Before long though, you find yourself heading to bed, that strange atmosphere sticking with you. It's nice, helps you drift off a little faster. You dream of a void with lines of gold leading you to a river, as you follow the water you reach an island and on it a lone figure who sits in front of an open door, you can't tell the color nor can you see where it leads, lightning crackles with a flash inside the doorframe, the figure from before raises it's hand to its mouth, you see its lips move, it mouths without sound over the crackles from the door, the world twists, it's hard to see, with a yank like you're falling, consciousness slams back into you and you awaken with a start, sitting in bed, adrenaline running high. You steady your breathing, heart like a jackhammer dying to burst through your ribs, as you calm the blood stops rushing and you realize you can hear something. You look at the desk across the room where you have your walkie talkie resting, always on and waiting, it crackles to life, but nothing can be deciphered. You don't get back to sleep tonight.
In the morning you head back out, your friends heading in to town, you depart from one another with a wave. As you travel you pick some berries curious to see if they affect the next worlder the same way as your worlds do, when you get to the door you pause to look at your walkie, it hasn't made noise since last night, yet you still check it, opening the door you watch to see if anything happens, but nothing does. When you look through the door your friend on the other side looks up from reading a book.
"How! Wonderful to have caught you! Would you happen to understand the presence of this lovely ren?"
You look to where they gesture to see a large beautiful white deer gazing at you from the other side of the alley. Initially confused, you recall blowing the whistle through the door yesterday. Interesting. You return to your friend who listens intrigued as you explain it may have to do with your whistle. They hum in interest, and as you two talk the deer, or ren as your friend called it, seems to determine your lack of attention as a dismissal and begins wandering away. Once it's gone you both turn your attention to the books.
They show you some of the covers and chat about what they hoped each offered in terms of information, ranging from literal childrens tales to thick books of what's you'd guess is basically this worlds cryptozoology. In exchange you offer a berry from your world to your new friend and they take it mildly apprehensive and try it after a moment, they seem appreciative and note that it made them feel better just as you have observed in yourself, you offer one from this world passing it through the door to your friend, they note that it tastes like the other one you gave them, similar results. You note this and hand over the rest you picked on the way over to your friends delight, then you get started reading.
After a while you figure some things out. Like your friend said before, most stories and retellings of the door and this world, or the Inbetween as they call it, seem to think it a myth. There are written documents on people who have been taken by tall dark haired strange beings that spoke in another tongue and clicked to each other. You think that feels familiar. There's one story about a person who stepped through the Inbetween but when they came back the world had changed and the people spoke oddly and no one knew who they were, but supposedly that person disappeared soon after telling their story.
Honestly, by the end, you're equally more informed and more confused. It's getting late for both of you though so you say your goodbyes, they give you a few books to read on your own, and you head home. When you get there the house is empty, but that's not odd since trips into town can often run late. You put your stuff away and start setting up for dinner, figuring you can make something simple before your friends get home. As you finish washing ingredients you see the younger racing up to the house on one of the horse like creatures. You watch as they hop off as soon as the house is within walking distance, they race through the door. While not panicked, they tell you the other sent them back to the house to let you know there were strange people asking questions about you. From what your friend explains it sounds like the cult the book writer had described. Neither you nor your friends had thought for you to keep a low profile, it's only a matter of time before they find you here.
Do you stick around and see what they want?
Yes*
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burntoutdaydreamer · 11 months
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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them
I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.
In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:
(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)
Perfectionism (most common)
What it looks like:
You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"
Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.
Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?
I hate everything I write
Cringing while writing
My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer
Things that can help:
Give yourself permission to suck
Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft
Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later
People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later
Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing
Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase
Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail
It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page
Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)
What it looks like:
Head empty, no ideas
What do I even write about???
I don't have a plot, I just have an image
Want to write but no story to write
Things that can help:
Google writing prompts
If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out
Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that
It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing
Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them
If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later
Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)
What it looks like:
I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt
Writing words feels like pulling teeth
I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted
I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window
Things that can help:
Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.
Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text
Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score
Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group
Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph
Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer
Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)
What it looks like:
I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop
I don't even know where to start
I love writing, but I can never seem to get started
I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)
Can't find the time or energy
Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)
Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying
Things that can help:
Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started
Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)
Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person
Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement
The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))
What it looks like:
I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene
I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going
I don't think I'm doing this right
What's an outline?
Drowning in documents
This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)
Things That Can Help:
Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working
A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go
If you don't have an outline, write one
If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it
You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural
Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them
Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers
Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough
Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism
What it looks like:
Everything in boredom/understimulation
Everything in intimidation/procrastination
You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism
Things that can help:
If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment
Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)
Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support
Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch
Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)
And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness
What it looks like:
You have symptoms of burnout or depression
Struggling with all things, not just writing
It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead
Things that can help:
Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.
Seek professional help
If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic
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writingouthere · 9 months
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singledad!Sukuna x neighbor!reader-Sukuna and Yuuji really want you to join their family! role reversal from my other series, think this will just be a one-shot though. Yuuji is Sukuna's brother but he's raised him since he was a baby and Yuuji calls him dad.
cw: Sukuna is manipulative and also a murderer but everyone's happy and you're both aware so it's okay. this is really just fluff.
"I....want you to be my mommy?"
Sukuna scowled as Yuuji looked more confused than ever.
"No, no that is not what you're saying kid. You're just going to tell her about how the other kids' mommies on the playground make you feel left out."
"But they don't, Megumi's mommy always gives me a snack when I'm hungry!"
"That's not his mommy, that's Megumi's daddy," Sukuna corrected, wondering if this was just a hopeless endeavor. He could have easily followed a plan this simple when he was four, but Yuuji was too soft. This was what happened when you raised a kid in a stable, loving environment. They lost the ability to go for the jugular when needed.
"But Megumi's daddy calls him mommy?" Sukuna didn't hold back his groan. You were going to be coming back from your morning walk any minute. He didn't have time for Yuuji to not get basic directions or to explain the dynamics of that Gojo family.
"Look when we go out there, just look sad and I'll handle the rest."
"But I'm not sad, I'm happy. We're going to the park and Megumi's mommy is bringing mochi today!"
"Shit kid, do you want a mom or not?" Sukuna asked, trying not to roll his eyes as be bent down to snap on the velcro straps on Yuuji's light up sneakers.
"I don't need a mom, I have you," Yuuji said. He looked uncharacteristically defiant and Sukuna couldn't help feeling proud of his little brother.
It had been touch and go when Yuuji was a baby. Sukuna had still been a kid himself and they didn't have any money and Yuuji's mom was even crazier than Sukuna's. Their father nowhere to be seen. Since Sukuna and Uraume had spread the pieces of his corpse around the city.
Sukuna pushed these memories aside and ruffled Yuuji's hair. "I know you don't need one, we only need each other." Yuuji nodded, his little head moving with all his conviction. "But it might be nice, right?"
Yuuji seemed thoughtful before finally biting his lip and looking down at his sneakers. He tapped them, making the red and black lights flash.
"She's really nice, I like her."
"I like her too," Sukuna said and he heard the sound of your sneakers slapping against the tiled hallway. "So let's go and look sad, okay?" Yuuji nodded, determined now and Sukuna grabbed his backpack before the two brothers went out into the hall.
You were just taking your keys out of your bag and you turned to the brothers, a smile on your face. "Good morning gentlemen, it's nice to see you. Heading out?"
That was when you noticed Yuuji's downturned expression. Sukuna saw your face shift into one of concern and he resisted a smirk.
Sukuna cleared his throat and squeezed Yuuji's hand. Good boy. "We're heading out to the park, you know the one by the high school."
"Oooh, that's nice. You like that park, right Yuuji? You said it was the biggest one in the whole city," you crouched down so you could look Yuuji in the eye and Yuuji seemed to forget he was supposed to be sad for a minute because he jumped up and down, the lights of his shoes flashing in the dim hallway.
"Yeah, it has the best swings too!" You ooohed and aawed appropriately while Sukuna tried not to smack his head against the wall. Maybe he and this kid weren't related after all, fuck.
Yuuji seemed to notice his expression because he stopped jumping to look down at feet. He put out his lower lip and used the tip of one of shoes to mess with a scuff mark on the linoleum. It would have made a more pathetic visage if his shoes weren't still lit up.
"Yuuji," you said, coming closer so you could kneel on the ground in front of the boy. The sight of you on your knees did something to Sukuna, but he pushed it aside to see what the brat had in mind. So far, he wasn't impressed with the performance. "Is something wrong?"
"It's just," Yuuji let out a sad sigh that wouldn't get him a gig in a car commercial. "Megumi and his mommy will be there and it makes me feel sad because all the other kids have mommies and I don't." God, there was no way you could be buying this, Sukuna looked at you and saw that your eyes looked a little watery.
Huh, look at that. Maybe he wouldn't have to kick the kid out, after all.
"I'm sorry Yuuji, that must be hard," you said and you reached out and swiped out where Yuuji had even managed to shed a tear. Sukuna felt so proud. "But I know that your dad is really excited to take you and the two of you are going to have so much fun!"
"Could you come too?" Yuuji asked and you bit your lip. Yuuji looked up and batted his little doe eyes at you. "It would make me really happy if you came with us. We could all have fun together."
"I wouldn't want to intrude-"
"It wouldn't be intruding," Sukuna cut in. "If you're busy though no worries, I know we'll have fun just the two of us. Right, Yuuji?"
Yuuji bit his lip and Sukuna could tell he was torn between showing how excited he was to spend time with his dad and being 'sad' so you would join them.
You looked between the two before seeming to come to some kind of decision. "If you don't mind waiting while I change, I'd be happy to join you two. Should I bring anything?"
"I think we're all set. We'll wait outside for you," Sukuna said and Yuuji went up and gave you a big hug that you returned.
Sukuna took Yuuji outside to wait for you, the kid occupying himself with a mostly washed away hopscotch chalk sketch. Sukuna alternated between watching him and texting Uraume who was claiming to be over him and his nonsense. Sukuna would take it more seriously if Uraume hadn't been saying that for going on twenty years. He knew they loved him, fucking sap.
Soon, but not soon enough, you came bounding down the stairs. A scarf tied around your neck, your turtleneck exposed by the open top button of your coat. He couldn't keep letting you be single, looking all pretty like that. He was too greedy for that.
Besides, looking the way you did and knowing your big heart, it was just a matter of time before some nice loser tricked you into settling with them and he just couldn't have that. The idea of you taking someone else home to your warm apartment with it's million throw blankets and a cookie jar, an actual cookie jar, he was convinced you kept stocked up just for Yuuji, made him want to commit another murder.
"Ready?" you asked and Sukuna nodded while Yuuji took your hand in his right and Sukuna's in his left.
"Let's go!"
Yuuji's enthusiasm was contagious and the two of you chatted all the way to the park. Sukuna saw some people shoot you all looks as you walked. Sukuna was used to people viewing him with suspicion, even fear. His tattoos, dyed hair and general demeanor making people cross the street to avoid him. Something about you and Yuuji seemed to balance him out though and people reacted as if they were just looking at a cute family going out on a Saturday.
You didn't seem to notice either way and just continued talking to Yuuji about some new anime for kids Sukuna had probably had to suffer through but hadn't retained any memory of.
As soon as you all got to the park, Yuuji took off with barely a good-bye. You seemed concerned and Sukuna bumped your shoulder with his. "Don't stress, he just sees the Fushiguro kid over there. See, they're already fucking around."
He pointed to where Yuuji was chasing around a scowling dark haired boy the same age as him. Sukuna didn't buy the scowl for a second.
He had once run into the kid and his weird dads at the grocery store and the kid had scolded him when he figured out Yuuji wasn't with him. Sukuna would have knocked the kid down a peg if he wasn't actually four years old and if his 'mommy' didn't low key give him the creeps. Sukuna was pretty sure he wasn't the only person guilty of homicide currently at this playground.
"That's so cute," you cooed and Sukuna nodded along while he took you over to some picnic tables. Unfortunately one of them was already occupied.
"Aww if it isn't Sukuna. How nice it is to see your lovely face on a Saturday morning!"
"Gojo."
Sukuna was ready to leave it there but then the bastard got up and walked over. His partner continued sipping on a large cup of boba, watching from his seat although he gave you a little wave.
"Who is this, new girlfriend?" Gojo asked tilting down his sunglasses to look you up and down.
You laughed and introduced yourself while Megumi's parents did the same. Gojo grabbed your hand when you held it out and kissed the back of it, his lips curved into a smile even as he lingered, his fingers clearly holding onto where your pulse would be. Sukuna moved closer to you and put a hand around your waist, the gesture a clear sign for the other man to back off which Sukuna knew Gojo understood because the bitch fucking smiled at him.
Sukuna didn't necessarily take any of Gojo's flirtations seriously. He flirted with every mom and dad on the playground, including him when they first met. He'd even seen him flirt with the guy who worked the ice cream truck so egregiously the kid had looked on the verge of passing out. His partner never seemed bothered and Sukuna wondered if he was just that secure in the relationship or if he hoped someone would finally come along and get the annoying man away from him.
As usual though, Gojo lost interest quickly and went back to his husband who didn't say anything as Gojo lay across his lap like some kind of housecat.
"There are children here," Sukuna said. Mostly out of spite and not jealousy that the two of you weren't curled up like that.
"Don't be homophobic," Gojo said and you snorted before looking innocent when Sukuna shot you a look.
"Alright, let's go see what Yuuji's up to." Sukuna went along with your excuse, mostly just because he liked the feeling of your hand in his. The two of you wandered closer to the playground where Megumi and Yuuji were currently engaged in a game with some other kids that Sukuna couldn't have possibly guessed the subject of.
The kids alternated running around the large structure, disappearing into tunnels, jumping down to hide underneath slides and behind climbing walls. Every time Yuuji popped back up to view he would wave and call out to you both. Sukuna still felt a little warm whenever the kid called him dad and the look you gave him after made him feel caught.
"So, I can see why Yuuji was so sad those morning. Megumi's parents are just vicious monsters," you said and Sukuna was so taken aback he knew his expression didn't hide it well. You smiled and swung your hand that was still in his, turning so you could look at him.
"I don't think that's what the issue was," Sukuna managed and you nodded.
"Right, it must have been because he's so lonely," you said before the two of you were interrupted by the sound of children's ecstatic laughter. You both looked to where Yuuji was now being chased by an entire horde of children.
"I'm the curse, you have to catch me," he yelled out and the other children screamed and laughed as they tried to grab him. Yuuji had never had a hard time making friends and that was very evident in the way he got kids of all ages, even the quiet ones to join in on his game.
"You can have friends and still be lonely," Sukuna argued and you gave him just the softest look. It wasn't fair for you to see through his schemes and still look at him like that.
"Are you lonely, Sukuna?" You got closer to him, your hand still got in his and you were so warm. "Maybe I should come home with you, then?"
Sukuna couldn't have stopped himself from kissing you even if he wanted to, which he didn't. He let go of your hand so he could cup your face in both of his palms. You moaned your approval into his mouth and he responded by nipping your upper lip, pulling you up to meet him as he leaned down to kiss you. Sukuna was about to risk another arrest by taking you right here in the park before a familiar voice called out to the both of you.
"Hey now, there's children here."
Sukuna turned to give the infuriating dumbfuck a piece of his mind when you distracted him by pulling him back to you and giving him a quick peck on the lips. He could leave the fight with Gojo for another day, he supposed. He knew he'd win anyway.
You're smiling and you look so happy and Sukuna doesn't feel the least amount of guilt in getting you here. Even if you knew it was a trick.
Although.
Did this mean you knew that all those times he was "stuck at work" and needed someone to watch Yuuji were a lie too? Or that he actually could cook and the one time he set the building fire alarm off had been because he started an actual fire and not just him burning dinner and two of them didn't actually need you to invite them to dinner so much? Did you also know that your radiator hadn't just stopped working randomly but he had broke it, knowing you would call him because your super never answered, and when he said a part was still missing and you would just have to stay the night at his and Yuuji's place-
Sukuna looked at you more closely and you just kept smiling.
As Yuuji called for the two of you to come help him and Megumi on the swings, Sukuna wondered if he had ever trapped you, even once. Or if you had just let him catch you.
Watching you push Yuuji as the boy screamed for you to go "higher, higher!" he decided he didn't care. Fuck, it might just be better. Knowing you were maybe as crazy as he was.
shout out to the dad at the park today who had the audacity to play with his toddler and have a cute dog at the same time.
also I liked the end of this so much I may just write a prequel of Sukuna and reader taking turns gaslighting the other into a relationship, we'll see.
Edit: wrote the prequel, here!
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