#and no I haven’t read A Great Big Tragedy yet because it will sever my soul from my body I already know

[goddiva]

reading Crimson Rivers is hell because it’s objectively incredible and I am not going to stop reading it until I finish the damn thing but I am having a Bad Time with this angst 😭

[creative-crybaby]

Phantom Limbs

PAIRING: Takami Keigo (Hawks) x fem!reader

GENRE: angst | comfort | smut (18+)

Minors DNI

TAGS + WARNINGS: dry humping, nipple play, spit play, light manhandling, hair pulling, creampie, overstimulation, marking (scratches)

Let me know if I missed anything.

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

SUMMARY: Having lost his wings, there's only so much Takami can do to help other heroes and save innocent civilians. And with him having even less time on his hands, you do whatever you can to take care of him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Posting on my birthday is like a little gift from me to me :)

© creative-crybaby, do not repost or modify

You wait by the windows out of habit. 

The book in your hand has remained open on the same page for the past fifteen minutes, your eyes reading the words, but your brain too distracted to process them. Your focus is more on the corners of your peripheral vision, hoping to catch something, anything outside. All that’s offered in the great outdoors is grey skies and an even greyer atmosphere. Though, you suppose you should know better by now. 

Because, as of late, he’s been entering your shared home through the front door. 

The sound of the jiggling knob has you up from your seat in a second; you slam your book shut and toss it onto the coffee table (never mind saving your page). You’re at the entrance when the door fully opens, anxiously shifting your weight from one foot to the other. 

Takami’s eyes widen ever so slightly at your rushed movements, but he then exhales as he kicks off his boots. 

“Honey, I’m home,” the Pro Hero quips, though his tone and smile lack his usual energy. You greet him back while helping him remove his jacket, the material cold and damp in your hands. You get a better look at him once you turn back to him. With the harsh weather and being outside for who knows how long, it’s only natural for him to deal with those conditions’ blunt force. Soaked to the bone, he shivers, though you can tell he’s trying to stop his movements. His blonde hair is now a dark gold from the rain, stray strands sticking to his forehead. It’s a miracle his skin isn’t blue, but he’s definitely a few shades too pale. And his eyes—they haven’t known rest even before the Paranormal Liberation War, but dealing with the aftermaths of such a tragedy takes its toll even on the strongest of heroes. 

You gently rest your hand on his cheek, your thumb lovingly caressing the new scar on his skin. “What are you doing out there?”

Takami sighs, relaxing in your hold before shifting his head to peck your palm. “Oh, the usual.”

You’d press for more if the look he gave you weren’t one of exhaustion, almost pleading. Instead, you rake the fingers of your free hand through his hair, careful not to tug on any knots. 

“How about a shower?” you hum. “I’ll even help you out.”

The blonde mumbles something in agreement, seemingly too low on energy for any more words, before following you to the bathroom. 

Several months back in your relationship, you’d struggle to have him in your home, what with his gigantic wings. He’d rarely knock over your belongings due to his cautiousness, but it didn’t change that your apartment wasn’t Wing-Hero-friendly. 

That was the least of your problems when he decided to stay over. Your bed wasn’t big enough for the two of you, and you’d wake up in the morning to find his wings positioned uncomfortably. Even when Hawks would dismiss your concern, you weren’t fooled. But going from queen-sized to king-sized wasn’t an issue compared to your bathroom. Even sharing the space with a wingless person was bound to have you two bump into each other, and yet, your boyfriend made himself at home. 

With your apartment now nothing more than a pile of rubble, all those concerns seem foolish, almost cruel, as you actually went out of your way to get a larger bed for him. 

What’s crueller is that a smaller space would no longer be an issue now that his wings are gone. 

You can’t help but think about all of this bitterly every time you two enter the shower. The one in Takami’s home is far bigger, made to accommodate his wings, but it’s all just empty space. He settles on the shower stool with a heavy exhale, and you stand behind him to wash his hair, letting the warm water wash away whatever pessimistic thoughts crawl back to taunt you. At least you can take comfort in seeing the Pro Hero visibly relax under your touch, tilting his head back as your fingers thoroughly massage his scalp. 

You’re extra careful when washing his body. The scar on his back makes you pause before resuming your task, and while the blonde notices your hesitance, he doesn’t comment. It’s not the only mark on his body, but it’s certainly the largest. Maybe one day, you’ll come to pepper the area with kisses as you would with all the other scars that litter his body. For now, knowing how it ended up on him hits you with the anxieties of “what if.”

Having kept your hair up and out of the way, you cover yourself in a towel before assisting your boyfriend out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his hips and sighs a silent thank you before you take his hand and lead him to your bedroom. It’s all either of you say for a while, even while you dry his hair with him settled in front of you, between your thighs and facing away. 

The hot water flushes his skin, a sight that helps you relax as you run a towel through his locks. You let it rest around his neck once you’re done, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his torso. 

“Want me to make you something to eat?” you ask quietly. “You must be starving.”

“I’m okay,” he hums. Your fingers skate across the blonde’s abdomen, drawing random shapes and patterns and making him shiver. “I just want to stay like this for a bit longer.”

You shift your head to rest your chin on his shoulder, the fluffy material of the towel tickling your skin. “Then let me get you some clothes so you don’t catch a cold.”

The Pro Hero gently removes himself from your embrace, turning to face you. Your wrists remain in his grasp, and he brings them to his lips to kiss both of your palms. 

“That won’t be necessary,” he mumbles against your skin, eyes fluttering closed. “Stay.”

His voice has a light rasp, and you’re sure you catch the subtle pleading in his tone. You sigh, sliding your hands to caress his face. Takami’s eyes open again, golden irises peering up at you as his brows furrow lightly. There’s a gentle tug to his hold, and you shift closer to him. 

“So much for all that time to kill,” you try to quip, though you don’t find your tone convincing. For good measure, you trace his jaw with featherlight kisses. “Even with the Safety Commission out of the way, you can’t catch a break.”

He chuckles airily. “It was never going to be all that simple, dove. You and I both know that.”

You pout at his words. The pull of his grasp reappears, and you’re brought closer to your boyfriend until you’re almost sitting on his lap. One of his hands slides to your waist, encouraging you to do so. You obey, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck. Back when he had his wings, your fingertips would graze their base, earning you breathy moans from him. With them now gone, you settle for lightly scratching at his undercut.

“Must be exhausted with everything going on,” you whisper, the tip of your nose gently grazing against his. 

“Coming home to you makes it all worth it,” Takami breathes before closing the gap. You both exhale into the kiss as you pull each other closer. Even with a towel in the way, he runs his hands up and down your torso, opting to feel you as much as possible. Once you’ve removed yourself from the embrace, he still attaches his lips to any exposed skin he can find. 

“Keigo,” you whimper, trying to hold still as he nibbles on your neck. “Are you sure? You need rest.”

You feel the Pro Hero shake his head without pausing the assault on the skin. “I need you.”

Even before destruction fell upon the country, you’ve worried for Takami’s safety. With his wings, he could reach the clouds; any higher could take the oxygen out of his lungs. He’s capable, but also human: even the overly glorified ones have limits. And as much as you want him to be well, you miss him just as much. 

You unlatch him from you without tugging too hard, and you’re met with glossy eyes and quivering lips. That desperation has been stuck in his tone and gaze since he returned home. Needing you close in any physical manner that’s given to him, his focus staying on you a little longer than what one may consider necessary. You remember when you’d beg him to stay in bed a bit longer before he went on patrol, putting on your best pout to convince him. 

But now he's the one begging, pleading for your touch. And with the subtle poking of your thigh, you’re given more than enough convincing. Your lips return to mesh with his as you attempt to remove your towel with what little wiggle room you have. Takami takes this opportunity to let his hands roam your bare skin, tracing your curves and groping at any fat he can find while leaving a trail of goosebumps. The towel around his neck slides off, and you’d remove the last one if you could, but for now, you make the most of the situation by grinding into his lap, his bulge rubbing against your clit deliciously. 

He’s restless; you noticed the signs before you found yourself on top of him. The Pro Hero moans into your mouth, his hands quick to grip your hips to drag them across his own. He pushes for a deeper kiss, if even possible, letting his tongue taste yours. You’re in desperate need of oxygen, and you’re sure he’s in the same state. When you pull away, he leans in to catch your lips once more.

“Let me take over,” you pant, resting your forehead against his. “Let me make you feel good.”

“No,” Takami groans lowly, eyes lidded and face flushed. “Need this. Need to do this for you.” He slowly flips you both from your current position so you lay on the mattress caged below his arms and legs. With a shadow looming over his handsome features, his eyes glow gold. “It’s selfish of me, I know, but I’ll take good care of you, too. Show you how much you mean to me.”

His words make your eyes soften, your arms wrapping around his neck again and pulling him close. Neither of your gazes leaves each other, not even as the towel ever so slowly loosens from his hips and cascades off his body. With your lips mere centimetres away, you’d have to give him credit for showing restraint thus far.  

“You can never be selfish when you deserve the world,” you say before closing the distance. A growl escapes his throat; from your words or your taste, you aren’t sure, and you don’t care to figure it out. Not when he pulls away to trail messy open-mouthed kisses down your neck, stopping at your collarbone before latching on to one of your nipples. Your back arches into his touch, and his other hand tweaks at your neglected bud. 

From your peripheral vision, you catch his shoulder blades twitch. You’d remember how his wings would ruffle when you two would make love, showing just as much vulnerability as the rest of him. The base of his crimson limbs was especially sensitive, and he’d let out the most beautiful sounds whenever they’d meet your touch. With them gone, the subtle movement is mere muscle memory. But when they jerk again once your fingers tug his somewhat-damp locks, you know better than to dismiss his body’s reactions.

Takami unlatches from your nipple to press his face between your breasts, inhaling deeply while his hand continues its treatment on the other bud. The sudden halt in his ministrations has you peering down at him, face warm while showing your confusion. 

Still pressed against your chest, his gaze meets yours, eyes hooded and ravenous. “I can’t wait any longer.”

You exhale, trying your best to prevent your breathing from stammering. “Then don’t.”

Those two words were more than enough for the blonde, quickly propping himself up before pulling you closer to his body by your legs. The sudden shift makes you yelp, but Takami doesn’t say anything as he pumps his cock, using his precum as lube. His touches had you already dripping, and watching him stroke himself as he watches you with desperation and lust in his eyes only adds to the mess between your thighs. 

Normally, he’d take his time with you. The Pro Hero, known for his speed when defeating villains, would throw all that out the window when you were in the picture, wanting to enjoy every second he has with you. This also applies to love-making, opting to prep you by treasuring your body and pleasure before the main event. 

But with how he’s currently panting as he aims his cock at your entrance, his face and neck flushed, you’re more than content to indulge in his neediness. 

His attempt at restraint is apparent as he takes his time sliding in. The tip makes you whine, and the blonde’s brows crease as he slowly adds another inch. His hold, now on your hips, is bruising, even as his thumbs would caress your skin. It makes you hiss, reaching up and making grabbing motions for him. Takami obeys, dropping to bury his head in the junction of your neck and inhaling your scent. A mistake: one where the consequences earn you a groan and the rest of his cock slammed inside your soaked pussy. 

“Keigo!” you cry, pulling him closer. 

Curses tumble from his lips. “‘M sorry, dove. I—oh, God…”

If being stuffed full without warning didn’t make you so delirious, you’d swear you heard him whimper. His calloused hands wander your body while his lips sprinkle kisses onto your shoulder: an apology, one you drunkenly accept as you try to adjust to the intrusion. A snug fit—it makes you wrap your legs around his hips. Your actions have the Pro Hero shifting to face you. He resembles a lost puppy, with his slightly-parted lips and wide eyes beneath furrowed brows of concern. You almost coo. 

“Go ahead,” you whisper, fingers dancing across his undercut. “Use me.”

The expression he gives you before he reels his hips back is pleading and one of gratitude. You barely register it before he slams back into you and knocks the air out of your lungs. 

Takami finds his pace in no time, pounding against you that the sound of skin slapping skin overpowers both of your heavy breathing. Every thrust has you squeezing around his shaft, and he rests his forehead against yours. 

Everything is burning—the room, your mangled bodies, his breath fanning against your cheek. You’re boiling, your brain melting into a puddle of nothingness as your hands fly to his back, your nails planting into his shoulder blades. Your boyfriend’s eyes screw shut, a sharp grunt escaping him. You want to apologize; you should apologize, but you don’t realize your actions, and with his sudden angle shift, words fail you with every probe at your sweet spot. All you can give him is pathetic moans through a slack jaw. 

His lips meet your swollen ones: you give him plenty.

“Keigo,” you manage to slur against his mouth. Takami bites your bottom lip, one of his hands reaching between your bodies to messily rub your puffy clit. You wail, and he pulls away from the assault on your lips. 

“Open,” he heaves. Surprisingly, you not only understand but comply, letting your mouth fall open once more for his hungry gaze. Through glossy eyes, you barely see him puckering his lips and letting a blob of spit fall into your awaiting tongue. You squeak when it lands before you swallow the tiny puddle. His thrusts don’t falter throughout all of this, and his lewd act of possessiveness tips you over the edge, your weeping pussy creaming around his dick and leaving a gooey ring at its base. A sight you’d love to witness if your vision wasn’t currently white. 

But Takami doesn’t stop. Not while you ride through your orgasm, not once you come down from it, and certainly not when you begin to cry from the overstimulation. 

“Keigo!” you squeal, tightening your hold on his back. “Too much! ‘S too much!”

His speed has yet to falter, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Not that your lover is any better, what with his vision gone hazy and grip tightening. 

“Almost there, baby.” You can feel his warm breath fanning your face from his panting. “Just lemme—” His thrusts grow sloppier, jackhammering into your cunt like his life depends on it, all while whimpering “pleasepleasepleaseplease” on a loop. A particularly rough thrust has you wailing and your nails clawing down his back. Takami lets out a drawn-out groan. “Sh-Shit—”

The tiniest push and he’s hurtled over you, eyes screwed shut and jaw slack as his hips stutter. His face is flushed, close to rivalling the colour of his wings, and strands of his dishevelled hair clings to his forehead with sweat. Even with an unfocused gaze and a foggy brain, you can tell he’s as ethereal as ever as he fills you with hot ropes of cum. 

You feel his muscles relax under your hold, and the Pro Hero exhales deeply before dropping on top of you. The sudden weight, while at first crushing, eventually feels like a weighted blanket, and you wrap your arms around your lover once more. 

It isn’t until both your breathings are regulated do you speak, your words somewhat muffled against his skin. “You okay, pretty bird?”

Takami sighs, planting a kiss on your temple before pulling out. You shiver at the feeling of his cum leaking out; he notices, opting to caress your sides to calm you down. He can only offer a hum in confirmation at your question, the vibrations buzzing off his body and tickling yours.

When he gets off you, he also dismounts the bed, making his way to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room. It isn’t until he twists his body to have his back face it do you catch the red scratch marks on his shoulder blades, vibrant and right on top of his most recent battle scar. You gasp.

“I’m so sorry, Kei,” guilt is evident in your voice as you sit up on the bed, hugging the sheets. “I should have been more careful. Let me go get—”

A soft, airy chuckle interrupts your worrying. The blonde traces one of your marks, shifting his shoulder blades before fully facing you. 

“It’s like they never left,” he rasps, lips twitching to form a sad smile. “Too bad I won’t be able to fly with them.”

Your brows knit together as you frown at his words, your eyes growing warm as they threaten to rain down tears. Your lover’s expression doesn’t budge as he approaches you, climbing the bed and finding his spot next to yours. He laughs dryly to himself, and it only dies down once you place your hand on his.

“Please, talk to me,” you whisper, leaning your head on his shoulder.

What remains of his front is cut off by a hiccup. It isn’t until you feel his body tremble do you peer at him to find streams of tears cascading down his rosy cheeks. 

“Sometimes it feels like they’re still there,” he sobs silently, pausing to collect himself. You’re quick to pull him into your embrace, and he melts completely. “Even with the Commission out of the way, I still feel trapped.” He pulls back to look at you with pleading eyes. “I thought wings were a symbol of freedom. What happened?”

Hawks is gone, and before you is Keigo. A Pro Hero so young and forced onto such a high pedestal that one wrong step is a heavy drop. Without his wings, only you are there to catch him. 

And with all the strength you can muster, you do so, carrying his weight in your arms as he falls apart, trembling and crying and heaving so hard you fear he’ll slip between your fingers into a pile of nothingness. For as long as you’ve known him, Takami has only ever born his soul to you like this fewer times than you can count on one hand. If he could save the lives of countless civilians (including your own), you figure that being his safety net is the least you can do. 

A weak snicker escapes his lips, and you pull back to face him.

“Tokoyami’s been calling a bunch these past several days,” he drawls, his thumb mindlessly caressing your arm while staring past your shoulder. “Never answered him back, not even once. I should at least call the kid.”

Your boyfriend’s about to get up before you try to hold him in his spot without using too much force (not that you’d be able to stop him). His questioning gaze trails to you, and no matter how much you want to coddle him until he wants you gone, you keep your head up.

“Not now, honey,” You rest your forehead against his. “One step at a time. You can apologize tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll understand. He’s a smart kid.”

He sniffles, and you wipe a stray tear from his cheek. “You’re probably right.”

His breathing appears even, and the crying seems to have subsided, even if just for now. You offer a small smile.

“How about a meal?” you inquire, nudging your nose against his. “Whatever you want.”

The Pro Hero hums, tiredly copying your expression. “Can we just stay like this? Just for a bit longer?”

Your smile grows wider ever so slightly as you fall back onto the mattress, your hold on your lover bringing him down with you and having him land on your chest. Your gaze is soft when you peer down, and your fingers are back in his hair to comb out the mess you made. He sighs into your skin, burying himself there as his eyes flutter shut. 

“We can stay like this as long as you want.” And you mean it. Even once his wings return, even once the people grow to trust him again, and even once heroes have time to kill. You would stay with him right here forever. 

© creative-crybaby, do not repost or modify

[twistedtummies2]

Well, you've done DC. How about Marvel?

Okay, this one was REALLY tricky. XD The issue with Marvel is that while there is one character who is consistently one I adore, the rest of the characters I can have kink crushes on tend to be in flux, so to speak. Like, sometimes I'll like them a whole lot, sometimes I'll only like them a small bit, sometimes I'll like certain designs or portrayals and not others, etc. So there are NUMEROUS Marvel characters I wouldn't mind writing for and can fantasize about, but how much those levels stand is forever fluctuating. Having said that, this won't REALLY be a Top 5 of favorites, but more...a Top 5 of consistency. Because aside from my number one (and maybe my number two), the other characters here fluctuate in terms of how much I like them compared to others. HOWEVER, they are ALL characters I CONSISTENTLY enjoy to some degree or another in a pred/big eater role. (Mostly pred, if you haven't guessed from previous answers.) Now, let's get into them...

5. Galactus.

Ah, yes, the Eater of Worlds himself. In point of fact, Galactus' literally cosmic appetite is both his biggest pro AND his biggest con. Galactus is a veritable god of destruction; a nigh-omnipotent being whose entire existence REVOLVES around consumption on a massive scale. Galactus literally eats worlds; he absorbs all energy the planet has into his being, and his hunger is neverending. Time and again he's come after Earth, but every time, he's outsmarted by the heroes and left to find some other place to gorge himself. On the one hand, God-level predators are freaking AWESOME, and that level of sheer hunger is INTENSELY squeak-and-blush-inducing. On the other hand, however, it doesn't leave much room for intimacy or for writing that will present an especially great amount of conflict. As a result, Galactus' appetite is both incredibly appealing and yet slightly off-putting for me.

4. Fin Fang Foom.

While his name is pretty silly, this giant dragon is actually one of Marvel's most underrated and intensely powerful antagonists. Originally imagined as a sort of unlikely cross between Godzilla and Fu Manchu - a monstrous distillation of all things that terrified people during the Yellow Scare - Fin Fang Foom has evolved with the times and, much like the Mandarin, still has a steady home at Marvel in the comics and in animation. He's not very well known, however, I think mostly because he hasn't appeared in any movies. As you know, I love dragons, and Fin Fang Foom is a dandy of a beast: a regularly rampaging monster who is, indeed, a canon pred. The image used here is actually from a defective clone of Fin Fang Foom, which had much of his power but little of his intelligence; the REAL Fin Fang Foom is actually highly intellectual...but this does not make him any less ravenous than the version depicted above. (Plus...come on, with imagery and writing like that, I HAD to make this the image I shared.) He's pretty much perfect for macro/micro type stuff, if you're into dragons.

3. Nightcrawler.

There are several X-Men characters I have had crushes on: Beast, Blob, Toad, and Sabretooth are the chief ones. However, in all four of these cases, how much I like them tends to fluctuate, as I've said before: it depends on a LOT of factors. However, the one X-Men character I seem to consistently want to stuff full of food or end up feeding myself to is, ironically, one of the least likely options: Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Nightcrawler. I WOULD say this is because he's my favorite X-Men character (which is true), but I don't really think that's the reason. There's not much evidence of Kurt being an ESPECIALLY big eater, and certainly no evidence of him being of a predatory mindset...yet he has developed a niche group of vore-loving or belly-loving fans who really love the thought of feeding him one way or another, and I am in that niche. I think it's a mixture of his design and his personality: Kurt looks like a fanged, fuzzy demon, but his soul is actually that of a very fine fellow. He's an impish mischief maker, a charismatic and chivalrous gentleman, and a kind, charitable, religiously devout sweetheart, all at the same time. You can imagine Nightcrawler being a big tease to someone who has certain kinks, but you can also imagine him being very docile or very comforting. He's pretty much a tailor made character for the softer, safer, more playful sides of these interests almost without trying.

2. Tiger Shark.

I've only come to know Tiger Shark fairly recently, and I haven't READ much of him...but with what I have seen of him and learned of him, he's definitely worthy of the number two spot. Remember how I said in a previous thing of these sorts that Killer Croc was sort of "King Shark done right"? Yeah, I think Tiger Shark is an even more accurate example of that. In the comics, this rogue's story goes like this: Todd Arliss was once an Olympic swimmer who lost his abilities in an accident: desperate to regain his athletic capabilities, he gave himself over to experimentation, and his DNA was fused with that of a tiger shark, and also of the mythical Sub-Mariner, Prince Namor. The resulting mutation turned Arliss into a predatory monster, with superhuman strength and a savage appetite. Over the years, Arliss has been depicted less and less human and more and more animalistic by various artists; whether this is a canon show of his worsening mutation or just artistic license is anyone's guess. Tiger Shark has a more consistent personality than King Shark, and while his design has changed over the years, he's at least retained the basic concepts, as well as his hunger. I have to admit that I actually prefer a version OUTSIDE of the comics for my interests: the version that appears in the series "Avengers Assemble," which gives him a whole new backstory and a decidedly beastly design. If I were to write for the guy, I'd likely follow that one more closely. Still, the comic version definitely has some merits, too.

1. Venom.

Now, I'm specifically talking about the original Eddie Brock Venom; other versions just don't interest me as much. With that out of the way...Venom didn't START OUT as a predatory beast, but quite quickly, as time went on, the character became more and more focused on that aspect of things. Just looking at the guy, it's easy to see why. The Jekyll-and-Hyde-esque relationship between Eddie Brock and the ravenous Symbiote that controls him is one that can be used for both comedy and tragedy, and Venom's gluttonous, aggressive, and at times delightfully witty personality makes him a very fun character to imagine. He can devour massive amounts, has a canonical love of chocolate (as well as human flesh), and has more appealing dialogue than you can shake a stick at throughout his long history. He's right up there with Killer Croc as one of my favorite predator crushes in comics, and possibly the only Marvel character I can consistently say I adore above ALL others.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Water Seven

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

i’ve mentioned several times before that the davy back fight is one of my least favorite arcs, mostly because i found it very dragging and tedious when i was reading it, but there are a couple things i really like in it, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, most of them have to do with zoro. i really like his moment here with chopper, and it also showcases his ability to act as more of an authority figure to the crew, which is something that makes a substantial return after enies lobby with the matter of usopp’s return. 

zoro and sanji’s match in the davy back fight is far and away my favorite part of the entire arc. it’s just really fun.

like i said, this arc isn’t a favorite of mine, but i do definitely understand why it’s important to the saga and greater story in a couple different ways. one of them is that it’s just an easy, lighthearted detour that both gives the audience a chance to breathe and the strawhats a chance to showcase just how much they love each other and work well together- which turns into a fucking sledgehammer to the skull in the next arc when that unity is directly threatened. and the other reason this arc is important...

...is because of aokiji.

aokiji’s introductory scene is a brutal showcase of absolute power, and a very clear reminder that the strawhats are still very much little fish in a very, very big pond. all of the strawhats are impacted by this to some degree- it’s how badly they get curb-stomped here that leads luffy to come up with his gears as a way of closing the huge power gap he’s just learned about.

most important, though, are robin and usopp. for robin, this is a stark reminder of the fact that the government will never stop hunting her down; for usopp, who’s less obvious, it’s the seeds of the full-blown inferiority crisis that will later explode with the news about merry. both of their arcs throughout water 7 and enies lobby, essentially the twin emotional backbones of the saga, start right here.

i really like that the other strawhats all fell asleep waiting for robin and luffy to wake up. it calls back to them doing the same when nami was sick before drum, and also it’s just so fucking sweet. 

water seven is my favorite island, full stop. if i was going to live anywhere in one piece’s world, i’d want to live on water seven. it’s just so creatively designed and visually great, with the canals and the tiered city and the massive fountain in the middle. the supporting cast are still one of my favorites, and the culture feels very real and authentic. i just love water seven a lot.

i just said it but it bears repeating- the water seven supporting cast is really good. iceburg, the galley-la shipwrights, franky and his family, kokoro and chimney are all really memorable, and most of them are really likable, too- and cp9, with all their eccentricities, fit in perfectly. water seven’s cast is very interconnected, as well, and their relationships all feel very believable.

all of which, of course, only makes the later treachery hurt all the more.

the atmosphere of water seven is really, really well done. the bad starts slow, with the news that merry is unfixable, and then continues into an accelerating downwards spiral of hopelessness: usopp and luffy’s fight and usopp leaving the crew, robin’s seeming betrayal, the assassination attempt on iceburg, the city and galley-la turning on them as a result, and the agua laguna- it just gets worse and worse and worse.

and then, after they’ve been stomped down about as far as they can go and come out alive anyways, they pick themselves back up again and go to save their friend, because that’s what the strawhat pirates do.

i just really like getting to see these four going feral on the franky family, it’s one of my favorite scenes in this whole arc. in general, i tend to love the moments where luffy specifically gets properly angry, and we get a lot of them in this arc. 

even though the fight between luffy and usopp is genuinely very tense and  fast-paced and would probably be exciting if it were any other two characters fighting, it never really feels anything other than melancholy. i think that’s a testament to just how good oda is at setting the mood of the scene. it’s made very clear, especially through the reactions of the other characters- merry ‘crying’ is fucking heartbreaking- that this is nothing less than a tragedy. 

:(

i think it’s kind of interesting we aren’t shown franky’s face until about halfway into water seven. prior to this, we’re given pretty much only reasons to hate him, with his theft of the strawhats’ money and the franky family beating usopp to shit. but just after this point is when we start getting our first humanizing and sympathetic moments for him, starting when he gets worried and a little frantic when he hears about the attempt on iceburg’s life.

i just really, really like the way some of these water seven action sequences are depicted. they feel very tense and desperate, which matches the general mood of this part of the arc perfectly.

this panel of usopp working on merry always reminds me of the shots of the klabautermann doing the same during skypiea. i’m not sure if it’s even intentional, honestly, but it’s an extra little bit of heartbreak either way.

one piece has a lot of amazing spreads, but this might be one of my favorites for sheer impact. cp9, watching as the city they’ve lived and worked in for years burns down in a fire they set, satisfied by a job well done. it’s almost all in black and white with very little grey, which creates some fantastic contrast, and their pitch-black silhouettes against the nighttime inferno are just striking. 

this entire scene between usopp and franky, as usopp works on the merry and franky gives him advice and tries to make him see its hopeless and they kind of awkwardly, accidentally bond, is probably my favorite in the whole of water seven. it was also the scene that singlehandedly made me love franky as a character.

they have a really good, really enjoyable dynamic, and at the same time the conflict between them is real and understandable, and brought about because they’re both trying to do the right thing.

tom’s workers are one of my favorite little groups of characters in the whole of one piece’s story, and they deserve more appreciation. they’re family!! a little family of broken pieces who worked together to build something really, really amazing. and they still care about each other in the present, even though they got shattered apart so badly and none of them ever really recovered. 

this is a tremendously under-appreciated chopper moment. not only did he carry two full-grown men out of a fire, he even managed to get zoro’s sword and iceburg’s hamster. extremely cool of him.

this is also the exact moment the strawhats’ collective luck begins to turn: chopper saves the day, and nami learns that robin did what she did to protect them, and sanji gets aboard the sea train, and from there it’s a no-brakes train from their very lowest low straight to the triumph at enies lobby.

i love all the shenanigans sanji gets up to with the sea train, i think the whole sequence is absolutely one of his shining moments. it’s always a delight to see sanji get up to Sneaky Bastard Bullshit, and the whole thing is just so fun, which is a dearly needed breath of fresh air after how relentless this arc has been until this point.

robin’s little smile when thinking of luffy and when she joined the strawhats... :( i’ve noticed it’s a recurring trend for strawhats who try to leave the crew to flash back to when they joined as they do. usopp has it earlier this same arc just before leaving, and sanji does it in whole cake island in the sanji vs. luffy chapter. 

i really like how much everyone comes together at the end of water seven leading into enies lobby. after how fractured and fraught things have been throughout the arc, both within and without the strawhat crew, it’s great to see them not only all united again for a common goal, but with a huge group of allies at their backs. 

these three are SUCH a hilarious team, and i would love to see them work together again like this sometime. they’re literally just clowning on the marines all the way up the train, it’s fantastic. 

factually i understand sanji’s aversion to fighting with his hands and his fighting style is very unique and cool and also meaningful to him because he learned from zeff, and also if i remember right it’s implied he learned how to swordfight from the vinsmokes which makes it very reasonable he would want absolutely nothing to do with that skillset 

but speaking purely in terms of stupid idiot lizard brain i think sanji should fight with knives more

this is another of my absolute favorite spreads, and i think what makes it for me is the casual confidence- luffy tells zoro to cut the train, and zoro does, both of them with no doubts at all about zoro’s ability to do so. it really goes to show how far they’ve come from back in east blue when zoro couldn’t even cut luffy out of a metal cage.

there’s something very impactful about the fact that of all the strawhats, robin gets this speech from usopp. usopp, who’s had the worst falling-out with luffy in the series to date, is the one who tells robin: you haven’t left the crew yet, you can’t leave the crew yet, luffy is coming to get you. believe in him. 

franky’s “existing is not a crime” line is one of the most memorable and iconic lines from this entire saga, and for good reason. it sums up one of the main themes of not just this arc but also the series as a whole- the very same idea will come up again for ace during marineford, and in law’s backstory as well. it’s never a crime to just exist, and people should not never be persecuted for their blood or heritage. one piece doesn’t fuck around with its theming, it really doesn’t. 

to be continued next time, with enies lobby!

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-34 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19  ♦️ ♦️  7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

Content Warning: This section contains topics that may be uncomfortable to some readers (mentions of abuse). Please proceed with discretion.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After we left Hang Jiahe’s place, Xu Yin hastened off. No one knew what she was thinking, and all she left was a staggering silhouette.

When we returned to Marius’ car, we hadn’t recovered from the confrontation with Hang Jiahe either, so we sunk into silence. I subconsciously realized that Marius seemed… somewhat sad?

MC: Marius, are you okay?

Marius: … You noticed.

MC: If something’s troubling you, tell me. Don’t keep it pent up inside.

Marius: …

Marius: I keep thinking back these days on what Wang Chunchong said to me…

Marius: When I heard Hang Jiahe’s story, I suddenly… felt a little scared…

MC: Scared?

Marius: Yeah. I live in the same world as Xu Yin, Wang Chunchong, and Hang Jiahe.

Marius: But I’m luckier than them, as my brother and dad both love me – so I’ve got a happy family overall.

Marius: So I don’t have to climb up, step by step the way Xu Yin and Wang Chunchong have to, just to live.

Marius: And I definitely am not like Hang Jiahe, who couldn’t even choose her own life.

Marius: But all of what I have right now is built on the foundation of Pax and the von Hagen family.

Marius: As the von Hagen stands at the very summit, we have no problems whatsoever.

Marius: But if one day, all of this were gone, could I still be this happy?

Marius: Would my day still come?

MC: Of course it will.

Marius: Why?

MC: Because whether day comes or not isn’t determined solely by the outside world.

MC: Like this.

I took out my phone and turned on the flashlight.

Instantly, a thin white light cut through the air, lighting up the dark interior of the car.

MC: Even if one is in the middle of the darkness, if you can find a light, even if it’s the thinnest, weakest sliver…

MC: It can still light up the darkness.

MC: Hang Jiahe’s story is a tragedy from top to bottom. No one could find the light to save themselves in the darkness.

MC: But unlike them, you are a light yourself.

MC: Even if you discard the halo of Pax and the von Hagen family, your own light can illuminate darkness.

Marius: …

Marius looked at me quietly, his eyes glittering in the weak light.

Marius: Jiejie, you’re right, but… not completely right.

MC: What?

Marius: Not only can I emit light, but I’ve also found the light that can illuminate me.

MC: !!!

MC: …

Marius: …

MC: … A-anyways, Marius, about what Hang Jiahe said at the end…

Seeing the atmosphere in the car get stranger and stranger, I rushed to change the topic.

Marius: Though I don’t want to admit it, I do think she’s right.

Marius: It’s impossible for us to incriminate her with the evidence we have now.

MC: But the police haven’t found out anything, and Hang Jiahe wears gloves, so she wouldn’t have left fingerprints…

MC: There’s no way for us to prove that she was the one to use the hammer…

Marius: …

Marius: No, we might have a way.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Waiting Room

Very appropriately, it was raining in Stellis on the day of the trial for Hang Fei and Qi Yu’s case. I arrived at the meeting room early, preparing to reread all my materials, so I could better face this trial where odds were winning were pretty low.

MC: (Only Marius would have come up with this method…)

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Darius Morgan: You want Hang Jiahe herself to admit everything she did in court?

Marius: Yes, that’s the most effective method I can think of right now.

MC: But… how does that work…

MC: …

MC: Are you thinking of imitating the psychological tactics I used against Fannie before in court?

Marius nodded.

MC: But Hang Jiahe’s not like Fannie, so how do we get at her?

Marius: About that… do you remember what we went to her house and you noticed that her glove had broken?

MC: “Looks like this glove design quality isn’t that great either, since it broke on me without me realizing…”

MC: “I’ll look for more durable designs.”

MC: You mean that Hang Jiahe might have accidentally left fingerprints or other clues?

Marius: Yes.

MC: That is possible, but this might not necessarily be of any use against her.

Marius: I got in touch with the production factory of that toolbox. Though the number’s carved on the hammer’s iron core…

Marius: The same number is also secretly carved on the handle, and only the factory itself can identify it.

Marius: They did this to prevent people from making fakes – kind of a trade secret.

Marius: I found out about it thanks to some connections.

MC: Thanks for your hard work.

Marius: No big deal – anyways, back on topic.

Marius: We can send the murder weapon to the factory for confirmation. If all goes as planned…

Marius: Assuming that the number on the core and the handle don’t match, Captain Morgan, we’ll have to trouble you to re-examine the murder weapon again.

Marius: Though this time, what we need to identify are any residues or biological indices on it.

MC: You suspect that there are Hang Jiahe’s fingerprints on the murder weapon?

Marius: Yes.

Darius Morgan: But, Marius, putting aside whether we can even get this examination in before trial…

Darius Morgan: With how much time has passed, it’s highly unlikely that any residues are left, even if they existed back then.

Marius: I know. It’s just…

MC: Captain Morgan… we can only stake our bets on this.

Darius Morgan: And what if we come up empty?

MC: Then I will still confront Hang Jiahe in court with all the truths I have until the final moment.

Darius Morgan: You probably understand that if you fail, we might never catch Hang Jiahe again.

MC: I understand, but I’m sure our effort will display results. I will not give up if we haven’t reached the end yet.

Marius: Captain Morgan, I’m also requesting this of you.

Darius Morgan: … I understand.

Darius Morgan: Within the scope of law, I will do my best to have Wang Chunchong stand in court as the suspect. As for the rest…

He smiled at me.

Darius Morgan: It’s all on you.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

As he promised, Darius dealt with everything after.

MC: (My emotions are a mess… I don’t even know what to say right now…)

MC: (I’ll go through the files again.)

I sunk back into case-file reading. In the middle of that, Marius pushed open the door with a bag full of breakfast.

Marius: You arrived so early.

MC: Yeah, I wanted to go through the information once more before appearing in court, just to ensure that I’m fully prepared.

Marius: Don’t be so nervous, eat your breakfast first.

MC: Thanks.

Marius: No problem. Oh, right, Captain Morgan had me give you this.

Marius handed me a document.

Marius: This is the information Captain Morgan got when they were investigating Hang Jiahe’s alibi.

Marius: There are blind spots in the villa’s surveillance – Hang Jiahe probably used them to come and go from it.

Marius: The police are currently looking for any witnesses around that area.

Marius: Aside from that, the two identical toolboxes were ones that Hang Jiahe bought around January 25th.

Marius: Wang Chunchong was also in the apartment during then. She probably used the opportunity when she said she returned home to get clothes…

Marius: To get the hammer handle with Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints.

MC: Understood.

[Obtained Police’s Investigation Report]

Marius: Also, this is the examination report that the police currently have on the murder weapon.

Marius: The factory confirmed that the murder weapon’s handle is indeed from set No. 22, and the other thing we guessed…

Marius flipped to the second page of the report, where it was clearly written “No results currently regarding residues or biological indices.”

MC: (Looks like we can’t tell whether there are fingerprints on it for now…)

MC: …

Marius: Hold onto this report.

MC: Okay.

Marius: Alrighty, take your time eating, then. I won’t bug you anymore.

Marius: In court, just do what you want – don’t be too nervous.

Marius: Everything will go well.

MC: Yep.

Marius left with a smile. I looked at that examination report, making a silent decision.

MC: (I’ll proceed with all I have!)

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

CRIMINAL COURT

10:00 AM

Judge: Court is in session. The court calls the People of Stellis versus suspect Wang Chunchong for the homicide case of Hang Fei and Qi Yu.

Judge: First, may the prosecution give their opening statement.

Prosecutor: I represent the People of Stellis against Wang Chunchong.

Prosecutor: On the night of January 28th, Hang Fei and Qi Yu, residents of Yaofu Community, were murdered at home. Their corpses were found not long ago.

Prosecutor: Investigation revealed that Wang Chunchong had severe conflicts with the victims due to a betrothal gift issue.

Prosecutor: That night, Wang Chunchong took food items laced with special drug G24D into the victims’ house under the pretext of apologizing.

Prosecutor: After he led the victims to eat the food, Hang Fei and Qi Yu fell unconscious due to the drug.

Prosecutor: The suspect took this opportunity to move the victims to the floor and used a hammer in the room to deal lethal blows to their heads.

Prosecutor: After, the suspect brought the bodies to his home using the apartment’s special fire escape route and placed them inside suitcases.

Prosecutor: After the suspect went to the natural park’s back mountain, then buried the bodies and the murder weapon.

Prosecutor: Investigation revealed Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints on the murder weapon, as well as the DNA of the victims in the suitcases in his home.

Prosecutor: The surveillance cameras where the burial location was clearly recorded Wang Chunchong’s entrance and exit.

Prosecutor: Thus, the prosecution believes that Wang Chunchong had full motive for the crime and that the evidence is conclusive.

Judge: Does the defendant have any objections regarding the prosecution’s statement?

Wang Chunchong: I didn’t kill Hang Fei and Qi Yu! It wasn’t me!

MC: I believe that there are major flaws in the prosecution’s evidence chain. The true culprit of this case is Hang Jiahe, not Wang Chunchong!

MC: First, the natural park’s surveillance footage only recorded Wang Chunchong’s movements at the park’s front door.

MC: It is impossible to judge where he went after entering the park. Thus, this evidence is untenable.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecutor: Objection! As the defense lawyer believes that it is impossible to determine that Wang Chunchong went to bury the bodies based on the natural park door’s surveillance…

Prosecutor: The prosecution also believes that it is impossible to determine that Wang Chunchong did not bury the bodies.

Prosecutor: Thus, the prosecution believes that Wang Chunchong is still highly suspect of performing post-murder corpse disposal.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! The defense has evidence to prove that Wang Chunchong did not go to bury bodies that night.

 Select: Recording of Simon’s murder

MC: That night, Wang Chunchong went to the natural park to meet Simon on the north mountain.

MC: This recording indicates when Wang Chunchong murdered Simon, which is the same time as what happened in the park.

MC: Thus, Wang Chunchong could not have been simultaneously discarding the corpses at the same time at the foot of the mountain.

MC: Simon’s murder case is an essential part of this case.

MC: Hang Jiahe knew of Wang Chunchong’s plan to murder Simon, and thus chose the same day to murder Hang Fei and Qi Yu.

MC: Only in this way could she successfully frame Wang Chunchong.

Prosecutor: Defense lawyer, what evidence do you have that proves that Hang Jiahe knew of Wang Chunchong’s plan?

 Select: Wang Chunchong’s Recording Pen

MC: Wang Chunchong murdered Simon because Tyson requested it of him.

MC: And Hang Jiahe was the one who introduced Wang Chunchong to Tyson.

MC: Hang Jiahe, Tyson, and Wang Chunchong were all aware of when and where Simon was to be murdered.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecutor: Objection! The defense lawyer claims that Hang Jiahe was the one who murdered Hang Fei and Qi Yu.

Prosecutor: But according to investigation, Hang Jiahe, Hang Fei, and Qi Yu were a happy family.

Prosecutor: And the relationships that Hang Jiahe had with her adoptive parents were excellent.

Prosecutor: She has no motive to commit the crime.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! Hang Jiahe does have motive to commit the crime, and it is stronger than Wang Chunchong’s.

 Select: Hang Jiahe’s Hidden Video Records

MC: During the ten-plus years Hang Jiahe was fostered in the Hang family, she suffered inhuman abuse at the hands of her foster father.

MC: This damaged her physiological health and ruined her life.

MC: Thus, Hang Jiahe hates all those who pushed her into the depths.

MC: This does not only include Hang Fei and Qi Yu, but it also includes her biological parents Xu Yin and Tyson, as well as her fiancé Wang Chunchong.

MC: Judge, I request Hang Jiahe’s appearance in court.

Judge: A reasonable request. Summon Hang Jiahe to court.

Hang Jiahe: I did hate those people who made living even worse than death for me, but I never murdered anyone.

Hang Jiahe: Also, when the murder occurred, I was not in the apartment. I have an alibi.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! Within the time that the crime occurred, you did return to the apartment.

Hang Jiahe: Oh? Do you have proof?

Select: January 28 Apartment Full-Day Surveillance Footage

MC: This is the full-day surveillance footage the day the crime happened.

MC: Based on big data lab analysis, comparison, and person-eye identification, Hang Jiahe appeared for a total of 6 times in the footage.

MC: Individually, these times are: 12pm, 7pm, 8pm, 9pm, 9:45pm, and 10:15pm.

MC: The reason why she was repeatedly entering and exiting the apartment was to complete her alibi.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecutor: Objection! According to the forensics identification results, Hang Fei and Qi Yu died on the 28th after 10pm.

Prosecutor: With Hang Jiahe’s physique and strength, it would be impossible to have moved and struck the bodies, then cleaned the scene, within 15 minutes.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! Hang Fei and Qi Yu did not die on the 28th after 10pm.

MC: They died after 12:30pm that day.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecutor: Objection! The victims’ surmised time of death was determined by forensics experts. Defense lawyer, do not speak without grounds.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! The bodies of Hang Fei and Qi Yu had undergone severe decay. When forensics determined the time of death, aside from basing it on the corpses’ anatomical analysis…

MC: They also based it on the victims’ final movements and the surveillance footage of the apartment on the 28th.

MC: In the footage, Qi Yu last appeared at 9:45pm, but the Qi Yu that appeared was not the real Qi Yu.

MC: Instead, it was Hang Jiahe in disguise.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecutor: Objection! A security guard saw Qi Yu who appeared in the grand lobby at 9:45pm, so she could not have been another person in disguise.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! The Qi Yu that the security guard saw was wearing a face mask and hat, so he could not have seen her full face.

Prosecutor: Even so, the hammer responsible for the murder of Hang Fei and Qi Yu had Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints on them. Defense lawyer, how do you explain this?

MC: That was because Hang Jiahe had switched out a part of the murder weapon.

Prosecutor: Defense lawyer, what proof do you have?

 Select: Hammer Photo

MC: The hammer that served as the murder weapon is a dual-purpose hammer.

MC: With similar models, one can switch out the handle while leaving the iron core.

MC: Hang Jiahe used this fact, switching the handle she owned with Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints on them onto the murder weapon.

 PROSECUTION OBJECTION

Prosecution: Objection! All mentioned methods are merely the defense lawyer’s conjectures, with no evidence to support them.

 OBJECTION

MC: Objection! I do have evidence!

 Select: Police’s Examination Report

MC: According to investigation, the set No.22 toolbox in Hang Jiahe’s house and the set No.21 toolbox in Room 1001…

MC: Were both purchased by Hang Jiahe.

MC: Why else would she buy two of the same toolboxes, if not to switch the hammer handles?

Hang Jiahe: You’ve spoken so much, but do you have any evidence that directly proves that I killed them?

Hang Jiahe: If not, then everything you’ve said is just a made-up story.

MC: I do…

I looked at Hang Jiahe, sighing deeply. This moment had finally come.

MC: Just in case, we applied for another examination of the murder weapon, especially the handle portion.

MC: This is the examination report that the police gave.

I took out the last examination report that Marius gave me, showing it for all in court to see.

MC: In this report, we noticed a vital piece of evidence.

Hang Jiahe: What evidence?

MC: The production factory confirmed that the No.21 hammer, the murder weapon, had the forgery-preventing No.22 carved in its handle.

MC: Based on this, we requested that any residues and biological indices on the murder weapon to be examined, and…

I stopped speaking and looked towards Hang Jiahe.

Hang Jiahe: What are you looking at?

MC: Miss Hang, are your gloves alright today? They haven’t split again, have they?

Hang Jiahe: W-what are you saying this for?

MC: No major reason. It’s just that you seemed somewhat troubled about this when we met before.

Hang Jiahe: Of course I’d get angry over my gloves breaking. Can’t I?

MC: Of course you can. But, Miss Hang, have you experienced your gloves breaking on you before?

Hang Jiahe: W-what are you trying to say?

Hang Jiahe’s originally calm face grew agitated, and a bead of sweat slid down her neck.

MC: Nothing, I’m just asking a question. This shouldn’t be a hard-to-answer question.

Hang Jiahe: Whether it has or hasn’t, does this have anything to do with the case?

MC: Whether it has or hasn’t isn’t for you to decide.

MC: But since you’ve said this, I’ll ask you some questions that are more related to the case.

I grasped the file in my hand tight, looked straight at Hang Jiahe, and added some emphasis to my words.

MC: Miss Hang, why did you return so many times to the apartment on the night of the crime?

MC: Why did you buy toolboxes of the same model before the murder?

Hang Jiahe: I… I…

MC: Also, why did these toolboxes just happen to appear in yours and the victims’ homes?

MC: Why are so many coincidences tied to you?

MC: Hang Jiahe, how do you explain this?

Hang Jiahe: No… no way, my fingerprints couldn’t have been on the hammer!

Hang Jiahe looked at me, her eyes gradually growing fiercer.

Hang Jiahe: I clearly confirmed it so many times when I was switching the handle and killing those two beasts.

Hang Jiahe: I shouldn’t have gotten anything wrong, so why did something still slip through?

MC: So, Hang Jiahe, you admit that you did murder Hang Fei and Qi Yu?

Hang Jiahe: So what if I did? It’s Hang Fei’s fault for running into my room that night and raising a hand against me again!

Hang Jiahe: I’ve had enough! I won’t give him another chance to humiliate me as he pleases!

MC: Then why did you murder Qi Yu?

MC: She never stopped Hang Fei? Before, she clearly…

Hang Jiahe: Qi Yu… hah, she did try to stop him that night, but she should have tried long ago!

Hang Jiahe: She’s been a bystander for so many years!

Hang Jiahe: They should both go to hell together!

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Judge: Per court trial, the prosecution’s accusations against Wang Chunchong lack evidence and are untenable.

Judge: Simultaneously, multiple pieces of evidence indicate high suspicion against Hang Jiahe in this case.

Judge: Defense lawyer, it seems that your guesses were all correct, and the risks you took this time were all quite interesting.

Judge: Leave the rest of the work to the criminal investigation department.

Judge: Court is adjourned!

[bondsmagii]

Here’s something I really can’t explain.

To sum up: I shouldn’t be alive right now. I shouldn’t be writing this. I have no idea how any of this could have happened, but the fact you’re reading this now is kind of living proof that it did happen, so I suppose I’ll try and explain it as best as I can.

A little backstory for you. Way back in the late forties, my great-grandfather was a young man working with the local fire department. He came back after the war and just couldn’t settle into any kind of desk job, so despite my great-grandmother worrying about his mental state he ended up running into burning buildings for a living. Naturally he saw some messed up shit, but nothing haunted him more than a hotel fire that he attended.

At the time there had been an annual prize night for a local grammar school. Hundreds of kids and their families were crammed into the hotel’s large ballroom when a stray match lit up the curtains on the stage. Back in the day they weren’t exactly great about fire safety, and the walls and furniture were panelled or made with highly flammable materials. The whole room went up in minutes. Over one hundred people died, over half of which were children below the age of fifteen. It was an indescribable tragedy, and my great-grandfather – along with every first responder there – was scarred for life over the things he saw that evening.

My great-grandfather did his best to live with what happened, and for the most part he did well, all things considered. All of his grief seemed to be directed towards one little girl, who was never identified or claimed. She was badly burned but not unrecognisable; the theory was that her whole family had died with her, leaving nobody left to notice she was gone. She wasn’t the only person to suffer this fate, unfortunately – all told, five people were never claimed by families – but because my great-grandfather was the one to pull her body from the wreckage, he sort of became obsessed with her. He was preoccupied until his death with finding out her identity, and every year on the anniversary of the fire he visited her grave to lay a wreath. Unfortunately, he died without ever finding out who she was.

Fast forward a few decades, and I’m in my early twenties. My great-grandfather died when I was quite young, so I only had a small idea of this part of his history. It was, however, enough to make me wary of large fires – especially hotel fires. One summer, I’m visiting another city for my younger brother’s university graduation, and I stay the night in a hotel near the city centre. I remember fires were on my mind already, because initially they had tried to give me a room on the twenty-third floor, and I had politely refused and requested a lower floor. (An old maxim of my great-grandfather’s: never stay on a floor where you wouldn’t survive the fall.) Because of the graduation, the hotel was packed, and I ended up on the fifth floor in the end, but I figured it was better than nothing.

The first night was fine. The second night a fire broke out. The hotel had had some electrical rewiring done within the last month, and something went wrong. The fire smouldered for hours, undetected, before spreading into multiple parts of the ventilation system. Smoke and flame was pushed to all corners of the hotel before the fire cut out the power. Later, investigators would discover that the fire burned through the power for the smoke and fire detection alarms almost immediately – yet somehow the fire alarms went off. This is only the beginning of the inexplicable that night.

By the time the alarms woke me, my room was already filled with smoke. I had been drilled on this so many times as a child that it was instinctive for me to roll off the bed and onto the floor; only then did I start to panic. Luckily I had fallen asleep with the curtains open – the only time I had ever done that in a hotel – and the city lights illuminated the room enough to let me know the smoke was only in the top two thirds of the room, and not as thick as it could have been. I had time to crawl into the bathroom, wet a towel, and tie it around my nose and mouth. Then I crawled to the door and lay a hand flat on it. The door was cool, so I cautiously pulled it open.

In the hallway, it was pitch dark. This is the worst case scenario for any fire. Smoke disorientates people, and they feel ill from inhaling it. Panic compounds the confusion. People can get lost in their own homes – hotels are the worst place for something like this. People stand little chance of getting out if they haven’t memorised an exit, and even then it’s not foolproof. I should know. I always memorise exits, but when I went out of my room I turned the wrong way. I don’t know why. I was panicking, I was confused, and I just made the wrong choice. It should have cost me my life.

I realised my mistake as soon as I reached the end of the hall. The door there was propped open (fire safety hazard, I remember thinking, like it mattered at that point) but I could see no flames. The door led to the stairwell, and I had just crawled out onto it when the entire world went black. The smoke and flame had intensified, the fire sucking in oxygen and the smoke being forced up the stairwell like a huge chimney. It spilled over the edges of the landing and enveloped me even hunched on my hands and knees. My eyes began to sting and water; I couldn’t see anything. I crawled back and bumped into the wall, and for several long seconds that felt like minutes, I couldn’t find my way out of the stairwell. The heat was evaporating the water in the towel, and the sheer amount of smoke meant it wasn’t doing much good anyway. By the time I finally made it back out into the hall, I was coughing and choking. Panic made me pull the towel down. I only took the smallest breath before the floor tilted under me and I experienced a horrible rush of lightheadedness – with smoke so toxic, sometimes a breath is all it takes.

I kept crawling, heading back towards my room, now realising my mistake. At that point I was forcing myself to stay calm, but it wasn’t working. I had realised I had probably just gotten myself killed, and it was almost impossible to breathe. The temperature was climbing, and I knew the fire was close. I could hear screaming from somewhere nearby, doors slamming. Every single rational thought had left. I scrambled down the hallway in pure panic, and then I saw the child.

She was hunched down, looking right at me. She wasn’t in any kind of night clothing – she looked like she was still in the clothing she would have worn at the graduation ceremony, a neat little dress and polished shoes, a ribbon tied in her hair. She was perhaps eight years old at my best guess, and seeing her shocked some sense into me. Before I could speak or gesture to the direction she should go, she waved and then pointed.

“Come on, mister,” she said. “This way.”

Together we crawled to the other end of the hallway. Smoke was billowing from that stairwell, too, thick and dark though still not as bad as the other one. Either way it didn’t look good, but the little girl didn’t seem concerned – not even when we crawled out onto the landing, and the orange flicker of flames was visible several floors below.

“No,” I said. “It’ll be too hot.”

“Come on, mister,” she said again.

She began scrambling down the stairs, staying as low as possible. I could hardly leave her, so I followed.

The heat was unbearable, and by the time we were on the floor below, visibility was zero. The smoke was so thick and black that even the flicker of the flames had vanished; the only way I knew how close they were was from the heat and the deafening roar of it. Have you ever been near to a large bonfire? Have you heard how loudly it crackles? That’s nothing. Big fires, they roar. They sound closer to a freight train, a tornado. It’s a sound so loud that it sets off a primal kind of terror, even without the heat and the smoke to add to the danger. What I’m saying is that it’s something that’s very difficult to crawl towards, yet there we were.

I couldn’t see the little girl, but every time I began to panic she would reach back and touch me. The heat grew and I could smell my hair burning, my clothing threatening to catch. The floor was excruciating, and while I didn’t realise it at the time, I was in the process of receiving third degree burns on my hands and knees from the floor alone. I felt faint, the heat making my head pound. It seemed to drain my of my energy, and during those last seconds – as we passed directly past the floor where the inferno was at its worst – I was sure I was running only on pure animal instinct to get away.

Then we descended into the hallway below the fire, and it was all gone. The heat lingered, but it was nothing compared to what it was before. The smoke was hazy grey, high up by the ceiling. The little girl was tugging at me, and I realised I’d collapsed to the ground.

“Quickly, mister!” she said now. “Not far!”

In my pain and confusion, it didn’t occur to me that she wasn’t burned; that she had no difficulty breathing. She tugged hard at my clothing, and while I didn’t know that my clothing was alight at the time, later I remembered and wondered how she had done it. With her prompting and encouragement I made it down the last of the stairs and out into the hotel’s lobby, which was shockingly untouched. Alarms were blaring, but the room was free of smoke and many of the hotel’s employees remained there, grabbing people as they emerged, coughing, from stairwells and hurrying them outside. When I stumbled into the lobby I was immediately tackled by several employees who were, I was later told, beating the flames from me. I had stumbled into the lobby on fire.

I don’t remember anything else. I didn’t have time to mention the girl. I passed out, and was kept in a medically induced coma while my body recovered from serious burns. I very nearly didn’t make it, and when I awoke I had several months of painful operations and skin grafts to go. My hands were badly burned, though the doctors managed to save nearly all my fingers – I’m only missing the little fingers to the first knuckle, and while the scarring is bad I can use the hands well. My knees are badly scarred but functional. My back isn’t pretty to look at, but it doesn’t bother me now, not outside of itching in the heat. I forgot about the girl until just before I was released from hospital, five months later, but to my relief I was told that no children had died in the fire. Whoever she was, she had gotten out safe.

Almost a year later, my grandfather died. He was the son of my firefighter great-grandfather, and when my own father and I were around his house, sorting through his things, we came across some of my great-grandfather’s stuff. Medals, a few old photographs of the family, some letters. My father and I went through the pictures, my father pointing out relatives and telling a few stories here and there. What you would expect from such an occasion, really – but then I found an old picture of a little girl.

I recognised her immediately as the little girl I had seen in the hotel – there was no denying it. The picture was an unpleasant one, taken post-mortem, and while half of her body was badly charred the other half looked as though she could be sleeping. Her hair was the same, the bow singed but present. The dress was the same. I could even still hear how she sounded. Come on, mister! I was so shocked I didn’t say anything. My father looked at it for a long moment, and then he gave a sad sigh.

“I wish he had found out who she was,” he said. “That haunted him. He felt like he failed her.” He took the photo from me and looked a little more closely at it. “Nonsense, of course. He did everything for that little girl. I’m sure she would thank him if she could.”

She did, I thought. She did.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you, but do you have any good "enemies to lovers" recs, may they be books or movies?

I neeeever am bothered by people asking for recommendations.  Those are my favorite asks because I am nothing if not in love with my own opinions, lol

Books

Obviously, The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn, the best Bridgerton book, because I’ve been blogging about it lol.  If you haven’t read it, it’s basically “rake tries to seduce the beauty of the ton, beauty’s older sister cockblocks him, he realizes that He Is Into It” 

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne is a classic.  Very light and fluffy contemporary, two people who’ve always hated each other begin competing for the same job and fall in love.

Kate Quinn’s Mistress of Rome series is a saga and the initial big ship of the first book (which you do have to read lol) is not enemies to lovers.  However, the NEXT ship which dominates the last two books of the series (which is four books long, and tbh... I recommend the second book but it’s a prequel and can be skipped technically) is SOOOOOOO GOOD.  It’s really “childhood friends to young lovers to SEVERE ENEMIES still secretly in love” and it’s literally epic lol.  Essentially, the series is set in Ancient Rome and Sabina (very bitchy Roman noblewoman) and Vix (child of a former gladiator, soldier) are friends who I think lose their virginities to each other?  And are in love as kids.  But then she fucks him over and marries the emperor.  Who he actually begins to loyally serve!  But he haaaates Sabina because she.... constantly backstabs him lol.  But he also looooves Sabina and gets off on everything she does.  And she wants him so badly.  And it is delicious.  And I live for it.

Both of the Evie Dunmore books I’ve read, Bringing Down the Duke and especially A Rogue of One’s Own are very enemies to lovers.  In Bringing Down the Duke it’s a bluestocking versus a duke who for political reasons is her enemy.  In A Rogue of One’s Own it’s another bluestocking versus a rake who has known her basically all their lives.  They have to begin working together and fall in looove.

Sarah MacLean LIVES for this trope lol.  Her first true enemies to lovers was Twelve Scandals to Start to Win An Earl’s Heart, in which the heroine is a scandalous young woman and the hero is a duke determined to avoid scandal--and he rebuffed her before the book began, so they hate each other.  But he also has a massive boner around her, of course. 

My favorite MacLean book, A Rogue By Another Name is another “childhood friends turn enemies to lovers”.  The leads, Penelope and Bourne (last name lol) were best friends as kid and he basically fell off after life set in.  Her family now has hold of his ancestral lands, and Bourne essentially blackmails Penelope into marrying him so that he can get those lands, after which she DESPISES him even though they had..... extremely great sex lol.  It’s SUPER GOOD, and it involves borderline voyeurism, which is great.

Then No Good Duke Goes Unpunished is very enemies to lovers.  The heroine was set to become the hero’s stepmother--then he woke up covered in blood with her missing. He then finds out, after years of being despised by society as a presumed murderer, that she is very much alive with a fake identity lol.  It’s WILD.

The Rogue Not Taken is an enemies to lovers roadtrip romance.  The heroine thinks the hero is a horrid rake who purposefully ruins marriages.  He thinks she’s a stuck up brat.  They end up journeying together and he eats her out in a moving carriage.

Theeen there’s Daring and the Duke.  The hero literally thought the heroine was dead (MacLean loves this) and is OBSESSED with her, but she hates him because the man who raised them both basically pitted them against each other after their days of being childhood sweethearts.  It’s very dark and delicious, and there are blow jobs!  Blow jobs don’t happen enough in romances, especially historical romances.  More BJs!  They are fun!

If you’re interested in a dark and BONKERS romance, Desperate Measures by Katee Robert is a retelling of Disney’s Aladdin about a modern Jafar and Jasmine getting together after he takes over her father’s criminal empire.  It’s definitely extremely explicit and a bit fucked up.  The book comes with content warnings; the first sex scene is dubcon.  (Like you’re reading from her perspective and she WANTS IT but she says no.)

Beach Read by Emily Henry is a cute contemporary in which the hero is a literary author and the heroine is a romance novelist.  They find themselves in neighboring beach houses and basically challenge each other to write in the other person’s genre.  Very light enemies to lovers.

A Heart of Blood and Ashes is a fantasy romance by Milla Vane!  Essentially, the hero’s parents were killed by the heroine’s father and he’s out to kill her father and overtake his throne.  Luckily, she’s on board.  But he needs to marry her in order to accomplish his goals.  They do not trust each other whatsoever and torment one another a lot.  For context, within the first fifty pages she gives him a handjob while her hand is covered in her own brother’s blood (and yes, he did kill her brother).  It’s great.

The Worst Best Man is about a wedding planner who suddenly finds herself needing to work with her ex-fiance’s brother... who she holds responsible for her fiance leaving her at the altar.  Very fun and sexy contemporary.

The entire Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa.  In each book, the heroine falls in love with a literal embodiment of one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, who is here to bring the end of the world.  VERY heavy enemies to lovers.  Kinda dark at times?  Kinda fucked up at times?  I love it a lot?  It begins with Pestilence; War and Famine have already been released, but Death has not.

From Lukov with Love by Marina Zapata.  It’s a figure skating romance; a down on her luck skater pairs up with a male skater who is extremely successful, and who she’s known for years and hated.  Verrrrry slow burn, but fun.

Movies

The Proposal, of course, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.  You’ve probably seen this, but the setup is that she’s his evil boss, he’s her assistant, and she’s about to lose her visa so she bribes him into marrying her so that she can get citizenship.  But ruh-roh, they have to go to Alaska for his family reunion and he’s also got a great body and is like, an Alaskan Rockefeller?  

Obviously, Clueless which is enemies to lovers by way of former stepsiblings, and also by way of the only valid retelling of Emma.  Emma itself is not enemies to lovers, really, but Clueless amps that aspect up a bit.

If you want a super tragic version, warning lol--House of Flying Daggers.  It’s a wuxia movie, so melodramatic to the max.  She’s a blind daughter of the leader of a vigilante group, he’s a soldier who’s gone undercover to follow her to their stronghold.  Many reveals and one of my favorite dramatic love stories ensues.

Princess Diaries 2, duh.  Baby Chris Pine?  Anne Hathaway?  PLEASE BITCH.

365 DNI.  If you haven’t watched yet, watch it and thank me later.  The greatest cinematic contribution of the last decade.

Down with Love.  It’s a delightful take on like, 50s/60s sex comedies in which the heroine writes a book that convinces women to ignore love and men, which makes the hero look bad and makes it difficult for him to get laid.  So he sets out to basically.....  wear a different persona?  And seduce her?  It is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, and I adore it.  Renee Zellweger and Ewan Macgregor have great chemistry in it too.

The Thomas Crown Affair, starring extremely hot Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo.  She’s an insurance investigator, he’s a billionaire who basically is suspected of stealing priceless works of art because he’s bored.  She investigates him and immediately begins fucking him.  Has a scene where she dances with him while wearing a completely transparent dress.  Then they fuck everywhere in his house.  I have never wanted to be between two people more.

The Painted Veil.  A socialite marries a dorky scientist for convenience, then cheats on him.  He finds out and basically forces her to go to China with him, where he is fighting the cholera epidemic, as an extremely long and petty murder suicide attempt.  But they get to know each other!  And the ice begins to melt!  Warning: tragic but lovely.

Casino Royale YES I SAID THAT.  The James Bond reboot movie that explains why he’s such a whore!!!  HE WAS BROKEN!!!  Basically James Bond is not like... a learned man... in this movie.  So he’s a cocky bastard and the Bond girl is impossibly sexy Eva Green as Vesper, who’s the “money man” on his mission.  They begin as bickering assholes and then fall in love.  But also!  Tragedy!

The animated Anastasia movie is one of the finest enemies to lovers movies of any time, I will defend this forever

Anyway....  Hope this gives you some ideas!  Lol

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hints of Beth and the CRM War in 5x09

So, after I re-watched 6x08 and 6x09, which I posted last week, I also decided to re-watch 5x09. I did so for various reasons, including a comment I received on an old theory. But mostly, I’d been wanting to rewatch this episode for a while. I had a hunch that there might be hints toward the CRM war in it that we couldn’t possibly have known about or recognized back in S5. I was not disappointed.

Tyreese, Lizzie & Mica:

So, in this new comment I got, this commenter said she thought Ty was likening the twin boys to Lizzie and Mica. And I’m sure this has been discussed in some iteration, but I sat and thought about it in a way I hadn’t before. I know I’ve discussed that it seems, from the photos, that there seemed to be a “good” and “evil” twin, and obviously that has ties to Lizzie and Mica. But just think about it this way. Ty was obviously present for the Lizzie/Mica tragedy. Then, he’s killed by one of these twins as a walker.

A random line from 5x04, 4 Walls and a Roof, came to my mind. After Abe and co get on the short bus to go to D.C., Ty is digging graves (for the Termites they killed) and Rick goes to help him. Rick asks him something about what happened on his way to Terminus or something like that (can’t remember the exact question) and Ty answers that what happened “killed me.” Rick, looking a little annoyed, says, “No, it didn’t.” And that’s it.

 But it occurred to me that Ty’s line is a foreshadow. He was speaking about Lizzie and Mica, saying that their deaths killed him (emotionally) but it was a foreshadow that another set of siblings would actually kill him a few episodes later. I don’t have a whole lot more to say about this particular thing, though I’m going to talk more about Ty in a minute.  

The thing is, I really don’t think we understand the point of Lizzie and Mica, yet. We’ve had lots of theories, talked about how they impacted Carol, the ways in which they could be Beth proxies. But I don’t think we understand their significance in the grand scheme of things, and I’ve never quite known what to do with them symbolically. But given that they’re in Ty’s hallucination WITH BETH tells me we will probably figure it out when she returns.

Hints of the CRM in 5x09:

Several years back (like during S6) I tried so hard to figure out what the radio messages in 5x09 pointed to, and couldn’t really come to any solid conclusion about them. Of course, back then we knew absolutely nothing of the helicopter people, so how could I?

We’ve definitely seen some of the things they talk about come to pass, both before and after this episode. They mention prisons (prison fell before this) and setting people on fire (Carol did that both in S9 and also to Karen and David in S4) and of course they mention machetes (Red Machete). All important symbols.

But these messages also tell a story. Look at what they say:

“At least 68 citizens of the Republic have been killed in four deadly attacks along the main coastal district. The group has continued their campaign of random violence, moving across the countryside unfettered, with the Republic’s military forces in disarray.”

Okay, so I’m assuming the “republic” is the CRM. This suggests a different group performing guerilla warfare against them. Think about all the symbols these lines encompass. We have a group of rebels attacking the CRM, the COASTAL district, and of course the CRM itself. So it’s talking about some rebel group that will be fighting against the CRM.

I think that’s super significant, especially because of the TWB template. Remember that we saw a group of rebels, perhaps led by Will, though it’s a little unclear as yet, who is Beth’s proxy in that template. And they’re outside the CRM and, presumably, because they saw the slaughter at the college, going to fight against it. So I’m seeing this as a huge hint for Beth’s return.

The other thing to bring into the mix here is the Wolves. Because all of this in 5x09 definitely foreshadowed the wolves, and it’s where we first saw their “WOLVES NOT FAR” signs. And where did we see TONS of Beth symbolism: around the wolves.

Second message: “…then terrorizing the village by night, carrying out revenge attacks which include hacking innocents with machetes, and in some cases setting them on fire.”

Okay, so I get that this isn’t flattering for Beth or her group if she’s with the rebels, but it is really hard to know what they’re talking about here, since we don’t get the full sentence. The point is, these are acts of war, and even if this is talking about the rebel group doing this (and I think it probably is, given that wolves did all of these things a few episodes later in 6x02) it’s no worse than what we’ve already seen the CRM do.

But I can also see that if Beth is with or leading this group, this is a very Grady-like issue to be dealing with. Are we killing these people for the greater good, because the war needs to be won? You can see how Grady could easily have been a setup for what she’d be dealing with later on. And maybe she’s the “new sheriff” because she has to police her own people and not let them get too blood thirsty. Or maybe I’m reading into this WAY too much and the point is simply that there will be a violent war. ;D

There’s only one more message that comes out of the radio. So we had the first one, talking about the CRM war and a rebel group attacking the CRM. Then talk of wartime violence.

The third message is Beth singing her song. That’s super on-the-nose, if you ask me. No more clear way to say that Beth will be part of the conflict the radio voice was just talking about. See why that made me happy?

Tyreese…Again:

I’m gonna make a sweeping claim, here. I think the themes around Ty’s death are pretty much the point of the entire series. Yes, I know that’s a tall order. Let me explain. It does tie heavily into Beth’s return, but it encompasses other things as well, and I think it’s a huge part of the current Negan/Maggie/forgiveness story line.

So, when I first went to watch 5x09, I pulled up S5 on Amazon and it shows all the episodes, the first one, of course, being 5x01. And the little picture it had for that episode was Ty in the cabin with baby Judith. I sat and thought about that and that there’s the picture of a cabin in 5x09 that gets blood on it and it occurred to me that those two things are probably related.

So I watched 5x01 after watching 5x09. I’ll admit I didn’t see tons of smoking guns that haven’t already been discussed at length in 5x01. The biggest thing is simply that it was a setup for Ty’s death themes in 5x09, and I definitely need to revisit my cabin theories. ;D

So, if we look at the people Ty hallucinated, there’s the Gov, Lizzie, Mica, Beth, Bob, and Martin, right? These are all obviously people and events Ty feels guilty about. Bob’s death, because he lied about Martin and that sent the Termites after them. He feels guilty about being duped by the Gov and not realizing what a bad guy he was. Lizzie and Mica for obvious reasons. And Beth.

I honestly don’t think Tyreese did anything to feel guilty about with Beth. Not in the same way we think Sasha might have (Sasha/Tyreese Theory). But based on what the Martin hallucination says, I think he’s just really broken up about it and wondering if he could have done anything to change it. Just my opinion, though.

So, if you listen carefully to who is saying what in the hallucination, we have two different representations of good and evil. There’s 1) Bob vs. Martin and 2) Beth/Lizzie/Mica vs. the Gov. In each case, they’re like good and evil angels sitting on Ty’s shoulder and they’re arguing.

So, for example, Martin says the thing about Ty lying about his death and how, maybe somehow, if Bob hadn’t died, it would have changed things with Beth. Domino shit. And then Bob says [paraphrasing] “No, that’s bullshit. I got bit at the food bank. It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to.”

And we have the same thing going on with the Gov. He’ll basically tell Tyreese what an idiot he is, and then one of the three (Beth/Lizzie/Mica) will say, “No. It’s all right. It’s better now.”

So, you can see that Ty is really at war with himself internally.

It’s important to note that one big thing that’s mentioned is that he forgave Carol for Karen’s death. The Gov actually says that Ty is weak and ridiculous because he sat across the table from a woman that murdered someone he loved, and he actually forgave her. The Gov really razzed him about that.

And this is one of the things I mean about over-arching themes. Carol killed Karen and David in S4, which we all know was one great big foreshadow of arcs to come, and Ty forgave her.

I really think this was probably meant to be a foreshadow of Negan. Negan’s story, killing Glenn, was a way bigger deal and way more front and center, mostly because no one really knew Karen except for an episode or two and Glenn was such a beloved character.

Now, we have this redemption arc for Negan and Maggie is going to have to decide if she’ll forgive him, moving forward. We could apply this to plenty of other story lines where Rick took the violent route or forgiveness wasn’t had, and it leads to trouble and death. So, I think this is pretty huge for the overall show.

And I really think it points to Negan doing something to save TF in some way. Because they forgive him and he’s allowed to live, that will save lives. We’ve talked about this with Daryl showing Dwight mercy as well.

My Biggest Beth Takeaway:

As the episode progresses, before Rick and Michonne come to get him, Tyreese does finally stand up to the Governor. He says that the Gov was a bad guy, and that wasn’t his (Ty’s) fault. He says what he talked about with Noah: that he never turned off the radio. He always faced it, and did what he could to help. He said he forgave Carol specifically because “it’s not over.” Which I take to mean that he has hope for the world’s future, and forgiveness is the only way forward. Being angry and holding a grudge only brings death.

And then he said the thing that jumped out at me most: 

“People like me CAN live.”

Okay, so what does he mean by ‘people like me?’ Because obviously Ty didn’t live, so this doesn’t apply to him directly. Or if it does, he means that he’ll die, but people like him CAN live under some circumstances.

To figure this out, we have to go back to his cabin in 5x01. During that entire scene in No Sanctuary, Martin was giving him crap about being a “good” guy. Ty answers, “you don’t know what I’ve done.” And Martin looks at baby Judith and says, “no, you’re a good guy. You save babies. That’s a little like saving an anchor when you’re without a boat in the middle of the ocean.” (Total boat/water reference.)

So, when Ty says “people like me,” he means those who choose to be good. Who choose to be hopeful and moral, rather than violent. There’s a long-running theme in the show that Chris Hardwick mentions a lot, that people who function as the moral compass of the group often die. And that’s true.

But here, Ty says, “people like me” (meaning the moral compasses) CAN live.

And Beth is in the room with him when he says that.

She’s looking at the clock radio that simultaneously reads 5:10 (music box) and also 8:22 (Resurrection).

The skeptic might argue that all these other people are in the room too, and how can we be sure he means her? Well, putting all the mountains of TD evidence aside, they do have a point. After all, all the “good” characters Ty hallucinates (Bob, Beth, Mica) are moral compasses and fit the criteria. There are plenty of others not represented here (Hershel, Dale, Glenn, Denise, even Abraham to an extent) but these are the ones Ty felt particularly guilty about.

But I would argue that we only heard one person’s voice come through the radio: Beth’s.

So once again, look at this from a bird’s eye view. Talk of the CRM and a coming war. Then Beth’s voice comes through that same radio, suggesting she’ll be part of it. And later on, “people like me CAN live.”

See what I mean? As I told my fellow theorists, this episode really had all we needed to predict Beth’s return. We just couldn’t have understood the meanings back then.

And honestly, this may be the explanation for the Lizzie/Mica thing I mentioned above. It’s a representation of the evil killing the good, which is super traumatizing and messes everyone up because as humans, we’re hard-wired to believe good will win out.

So, we had Lizzie/Mica, Noah’s brothers, and then the good vs evil hallucinations I already talked about. And we might even have a representation of this at Grady because of evil officer Bob.

We had good Bob who died in 5x04, and then Evil Officer Bob, who directly led to them only having two prisoners, which directly led to Beth getting shot. And I remember when it aired, the show brought a lot of attention to it by doing clickbait articles about why there were “two Bobs.”

So, it’s something they wanted us to notice. And then we see Bob in Ty’s hallucination here. I gotta think that Sasha and Ty’s sibling relationship plays into this in some way as well.

Okay, I’ll shut up, now. But re-watching this gave me tons of hope. We can’t say for sure that we’ll see her in the bonus episodes (though obviously I hope we will) but I’m more sure than ever that she’ll be part of the CRM war. And we’re kind of on the cusp of that. We just have to sit back and wait. ;D

[imsfire2]

A day late

I know yesterday was Fanfic Appreciation day.  It was also a bit of a rough day for me.  I’ve been having a few of those lately (not to worry, I’m a tough old thing, but my head isn’t in a good place sometimes lately and I lose mental energy when that happens) and I feel really bad that I missed this day for sending out some appreciation to a few of the writers whose work has been helping me to keep going in recent months.  Either new stories, or re-reading old ones.

So here I am, a day late, with a few things to say.

@fulcrumstardust, @halflingmerry, your collaboration Transient stars has been an absolute joy.  A very angsty joy at times, true, but the plot is fantastic, the in-universe world-building is top-notch and the political discussions are wonderful.  The eventual resolution was all the more fulfilling for the agony that came before it.  And @fulcrumstardust‘s Imperial/undercover story The girl with the stardust eyes is terrific.  SOooo much angst and pining, omg, and I’m genuinely worried for both our heroes as their situation is pretty dire at the moment and their emotions are just so raw.

I don’t know if AO3 user @rosepetalfall has a tumblr, but if they do, please let me know.  Their Bodhi/Luke fic where there’s a desert has some ravishing world-building and starts from a really interesting “what if” premise.  The character writing and buckets of pining are great.  Also I genuinely have no idea where the final chapter will take this story.

The lovely @moonprincess92nz reappeared recently with a great multiple-lives/time-loop AU that is weird and wonderful, and well worth a read: if I had to be stuck with anyone.

@asunachinadoll is a new writer to me, I hadn’t come across their work before, perhaps because (not having DisneyPlus) I haven’t seen The Mandalorian; but they’ve done several lovely short Rogue One fics recently.  Their latest, guns and spirits (they won’t go) is a beautiful but heartbreaking Cassian fic and well worth a read if you want to have All The Feels.

Some other writers I LOVE and want to send a big “Hello and Thank You!” to:

@pontmercyingtilthecowscomehome You are fab, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  You write so beautifully and with so much love for the characters, even in your stories’ happiest moments there’s a bittersweet undernote because of all the pain and regret they’ve had to go through with, and yet you make happiness so real and profound when it does come.  Also I love your descriptions of food and cooking!

@miaouerie I am loving your yoga AU; sometimes I need a fluffy romcom and this summer, this has been one of the best!

@ruby-red-inky-blue, I’ve been re-reading your Berlin Wall AU and got gripped all over again.  It’s very dark and I fear sad endings; but what a great piece of writing.  I fear the same sad endings for TWTAS when that resumes; but also, again, what a great piece of writing.

@skitzofreak you rock.  You rule.  You are brilliant.  Everything you’ve written is pure gold.  I’m going to single out Your words are mine to keep because as well as being heart-stoppingly gripping, moving, and in places very funny, it’s also a technical tour-de-force that leaves me in awe.

@vaderkat your current story although sad and angsty is tremendous; and Caught in Between remains one of the best modern dress thriller/“spies and spooks” AUs I’ve read.

@NeonDaisies I don’t know if you have a tumblr, but It’s Always Only Ever Been is a masterpiece.  Hope the muses bring you more, when you and they are ready.

@a-whale-bone I am loving Darness, Moonrise although just as with so many great writers, you’re making me Very Afraid for our heroes as it’s hard to see any possibility in this AU other than tragedy once again.

@runakvaed, @dasakuryo, @thereigning-lorelai, @mockingjaypin - thank you for all the gorgeous edits and gifsets you’ve blessed us with! 

And of course, although I’m pretty certain they don’t have a tumblr, I cannot possibly do a fic rec without urging you all to read the mammoth and wonderful works of jplus on AO3.  World-building to equal the world’s best writers, beautiful character writing, drama, excitement, cliff-hangers, romance, feels, and tears.  I seem to cry at almost every update this author posts; tears of joy, of naked emotion, of grief for much-loved characters reaching their end, and lastly of sheer admiration for the brilliance and simplicity of the writing.

There are so many more people I ought to be thanking here.  All the fan art makers!  So many more makers of gifsets and edits!  And countless more writers.  So many, many writers, and so much talent, and so much hard work.

Thank you all.  I love you people. 

[introvertguide]

Gone with the Wind; AFI #6

Our next film for review is the classic epic drama, Gone with the Wind (1939). This movie was the big award winner from a year that is often considered the best year for movies in American cinema history. The film won 8 Oscars including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Actress. Notably, the film also had the first win for a black actor with Best Supporting Actress going to Hattie McDaniel (although she had to get special permission to sit in the back of the room since the awards took place at a segregated hotel). All these wins came against competition like The Wizard of Oz, Wuthering Heights, Stagecoach and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Although this film is considered to be one of the best American films of all time, there has been a lot of complaints about the depiction of house slaves and slavery in general in this film. I want to discuss why it is still great and the takeaway from the film, but first a quick synopsis of the plot will help. This movie is almost 4 hours long, so it will be much more condensed then usual, and I relied heavily on Wikipedia and IMDB entries to summarize this particular film. I do want to do the standard...

SPOILER ALERT!!!! IF YOU ARE AMERICAN, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH THIS FILM AS ALMOST A CIVIC DUTY!!! IT IS A MAJOR PART OF AMERICAN CINEMA HISTORY AND SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE EXPERIENCED!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, I IMPLORE YOU TO GO AND WATCH IT BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER!!!

In 1861, on the eve of the American Civil War, Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) lives at Tara, her family's cotton plantation in Georgia, with her parents and two sisters and their many slaves. Scarlett learns that Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard), whom she secretly loves, is to be married to his cousin, Melanie Hamilton (Olivia de Havilland), and the engagement is to be announced the next day at a barbecue at Ashley's home, the nearby plantation Twelve Oaks. At the Twelve Oaks party, Scarlett makes an advance on Ashley, but instead catches the attention of another guest, Rhett Butler (Clark Gable). The barbecue is disrupted by news of the declaration of war, and the men rush to enlist. In a bid to arouse jealousy in Ashley, Scarlett marries Melanie's younger brother Charles before he leaves to fight. Following Charles's death while serving in the Confederate States Army, Scarlett's mother sends her to the Hamilton home in Atlanta, where she creates a scene by attending a charity bazaar in her mourning attire and waltzing with Rhett, now a blockade runner for the Confederacy.

The tide of war turns against the Confederacy after the Battle of Gettysburg, in which many of the men of Scarlett's town are killed. Eight months later, as the city is besieged by the Union Army in the Atlanta Campaign, Melanie gives birth with Scarlett's aid, and Rhett helps them flee the city. Once out of the city, Rhett chooses to go off to fight, leaving Scarlett to make her own way back to Tara. Upon her return home, Scarlett finds Tara deserted, except for her father, her sisters, and two former slaves: Mammy (Hattie McDaniel) and Pork (Oscar Polk). Scarlett learns that her mother has just died of typhoid fever and her father has become senile. With Tara pillaged by Union troops and the fields untended, Scarlett vows she will do anything for the survival of her family and herself.

(Little bit of a side note, this seems to be where several of the commenters on IMDB thought the movie ended as the phrase “ends with Scarlett vowing never to go hungry again” showed up more than once. This is the point of the intermission and the two halves are very different from each other, but this is by no means the end of the film. It is a very good time to take a break if you are watching it so I suggest taking more than the intermission time to stretch your legs. This is a really long movie.)

As the O'Haras work in the cotton fields, Scarlett's father attempts to chase away a scalawag from his land, but is thrown from his horse and killed. With the defeat of the Confederacy, Ashley also returns, but finds he is of little help at Tara. When Scarlett begs him to run away with her, he confesses his desire for her and kisses her passionately, but says he cannot leave Melanie. Unable to pay the Reconstructionist taxes imposed on Tara, Scarlett dupes her younger sister Suellen's fiancé, the middle-aged and wealthy general store owner Frank Kennedy, into marrying her, by saying Suellen got tired of waiting and married another suitor. Frank, Ashley, Rhett and several other accomplices make a night raid on a shanty town after Scarlett is attacked while driving through it alone, resulting in Frank's death. With Frank's funeral barely over, Rhett proposes to Scarlett and she accepts.

Rhett and Scarlett have a daughter whom Rhett names Bonnie Blue, but Scarlett, still pining for Ashley and chagrined at the perceived ruin of her figure, lets Rhett know that she wants no more children and that they will no longer share a bed. One day at Frank's mill, Scarlett and Ashley are seen embracing by Ashley's sister, India, and harboring an intense dislike of Scarlett she eagerly spreads rumors. Later that evening, Rhett, having heard the rumors, forces Scarlett to attend a birthday party for Ashley. Incapable of believing anything bad of her, Melanie stands by Scarlett's side so that all know that she believes the gossip to be false. After returning home from the party, Scarlett finds Rhett downstairs drunk, and they argue about Ashley. Rhett kisses Scarlett against her will, stating his intent to have sex with her that night, and carries the struggling Scarlett to the bedroom.

The next day, Rhett apologizes for his behavior and offers Scarlett a divorce, which she rejects, saying that it would be a disgrace. When Rhett returns from an extended trip to London, Scarlett informs him that she is pregnant, but an argument ensues which results in her falling down a flight of stairs and suffering a miscarriage. As she is recovering, tragedy strikes when Bonnie dies while attempting to jump a fence with her pony. Scarlett and Rhett visit Melanie, who has suffered complications arising from a new pregnancy, on her deathbed. As Scarlett consoles Ashley, Rhett prepares to leave Atlanta. Having realized that it was him she truly loved all along, and not Ashley, Scarlett pleads with Rhett to stay, but Rhett rebuffs her and walks away into the morning fog, leaving her in tears on the staircase. A distraught Scarlett resolves to return home to Tara, believing that one day she will get Rhett back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While discussing this film with my mom, she mentioned that the film has had a different effect on her each time and she felt like it was because she was a different person each time she saw it. I have had the same experience and I find that rewatching the film is a good way to see how your own perspective has changed over time. I first saw this as a teen and thought Rhett Butler was a cold man who could could not forgive a suffering Scarlett who was trying to figure out her priorities during a trying time. In my twenties, I could only focus on the depiction of slavery and thought that people should not watch the film at all. In my thirties, I hated Scarlett and wished that she had died instead of her friend or the daughter because she was dramatic and made bad situations worse. I recently turned forty and watched it again...

I still find Scarlett to be dramatic and the cause of many of her own problems, but at the same time I would expect this from somebody her age (I think I finally separated the age of the actress from the age of the character) with her “Princess of the South” upbringing. I can’t really empathize since her life was much easier than mine, but I can sympathize after working with many rich teens who are spoiled and don’t know how to act in an emergency. I think I understand better about how the author of the book was trying to portray this plantation lifestyle as almost royalty and the slaves were like the 1850s Southern United States version of royal attendants. I find the language very cringy, but all of the house slaves at the O’Hara plantation have their place in the story. This is probably an accurate depiction of what somebody from the old South would want to glamorize plantation life as being to people living in the 1940s, and thus historically valuable. I find Rhett Butler to be somewhat similar to Han Solo: somebody who looks out for his own best interest but softens for good people and good causes. He seems to do good things except when he gets drunk and forces himself on Scarlett (marriage and sexual assault are not mutually exclusive). He is otherwise pretty faultless, but that scene drops him quite a few pegs in my eyes.

One thing that sticks with me each and every time is when Scarlett is working at the army hospital and the doctor wants her to help with an amputation. They have nothing to numb the pain and there is a young man screaming not to cut into his leg...I can’t even imagine yet I know that this was not even uncommon during the height of the war. I remember watching a documentary on the Civil War and a real photo showing a pile of amputated limbs at a makeshift tent hospital. The pile looked to have more than 100 limbs and I am sure they did not have enough morphine for all of these men. The best field doctors were said to be more strong and stoic than accurate since being able to saw through a man’s leg quickly was a major commodity. This horrifically honest portrayal of war in the midst of the Nazi threat and a couple of years before the entry of the U.S. into WW2 took courage. I was able to sublimate a little more during this viewing since there was no on-screen cutting. I also tried to imagine the man doing the voice over and screaming “Don't cut my leg!” in a sound studio. It helped. Another thing that I didn’t know during previous viewings was that when she exits the building and sees the hundreds of soldiers in the streets, half of the bodies on the ground are manikins. Look very closely at the middle picture above...half over those bodies are fakes.

I learned a lot from the extras that were with this movie since I borrowed my friend’s DVD box set. It was unexpected to me that the three slaves were my friend’s favorite characters (Pork, Mammy, and Prissy), since my friend is a black woman in her 70s and grew up during the Civil Rights movement when films that depicted slavery in this way were generally looked down upon. My friend said she was glad to see black actors at all from the era and the movement had to start somewhere. The actors seemed to be of the same opinion with Hattie McDaniel saying she would rather portray a maid and get paid like an actor than have to actually be a maid. Speaking roles for black actors were very few, especially in big budget movies, so there was not a lot of concern about the character being portrayed. This makes since, especially after the Great Depression. Having a role playing a stereotyped house slave still meant a great paycheck at the end of the week. I also liked that one of the things that Rhett Butler wanted and had difficulty getting was approval from Mammy concerning the courtship of Scarlett. Mammy was a slave, but she knew a lot of secrets and was not powerless.

My favorite character this time around was Melanie Hamilton because she is just a good person. She is not helpless and she doesn’t complain about her problems, she just handles her business and keeps supporting her family with a strength that I am not likely to truly know. I was saddened to hear that the actress recently passed away as, similar to her character, she seemed like a real survivor that would live forever. Apparently the actress, Olivia de Havilland, was not nearly as demure and liked to play jokes on her fellow actors. She also made a lot of fun about the age gap between Vivien Leigh and the actress playing Scarlett’s mother (there was a real life age difference of 4 years). Havilland also had the crew tie her to a chair that Clark Gable was supposed to lift her from and he nearly threw out his back.

It is a little surprising how much adversity occurred on set since there were a lot of injuries, actors who didn’t really like their character (Vivien Leigh described her character as a “raging bitch”), giant sets that were lit on fire so only one take was possible, and the portrayal of the South and slavery in a favorable light. However, like so many other films on the AFI list, it seems like the difficulties are what bonded the groups together to make classic cinema. It seems like a little adversity and strife can bring out the best in film makers.

So does this movie belong on the AFI list? Maybe more than any other movie ever made. It is the top film from the pinnacle year of the Golden Age of Hollywood. It is a historical drama about a singularly American topic based on an American best seller. I think a list about great American movies should probably start with films like this and go from there. Absolute classic. Would I recommend it? Yes, and I would actually recommend multiple viewings because your interpretation will change throughout your life. This is a superiorly good movie that should be viewed, no matter how it is interpreted. Just make sure to plan a break because this movie is epic in scale and in run time. Still totally worth it.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Another Pointless Top Ten List (But You’ll Keep Reading, Anyway)

My brother Rikk recently mailed me another top ten list of his, in this instance being his top ten favorite TV comedy shows (which he defines as 30 minutes or less, no movies).

The Three Stooges

M*A*S*H

The Andry Griffith Show 

The Beverly Hillbillies

Hogan’s Heroes

I Love Lucy 

The Honeymooners 

All In The Family

Get Smart 

Gilligan’s Island

His honorable mentions include F Troop, The Patty Duke Show, My Three Sons, Gomer Pyle USMC, Batman, Petticoat Junction, Mr. Ed. Bewitched, and I Dream Of Jeanie.

Again, one of those personal favorite lists that you really can’t argue with because it reflects personal tastes and / or fond nostalgia (though I am calling shenanigans on The Three Stooges; they were theatrical shorts shown in movie theaters, not a TV show, and besides, Laurel & Hardy are soooooo much better…).

But of course we’re going to play the game, so I’ll respond, first throwing in a caveat:  No skit comedy shows such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus, The Marty Feldman Show, Benny Hill, Second City TV, The Kids In The Hall, or Love, American Style.

I’m also omitting programs like The Gong Show and Jackass because while hilarious and under 30 minutes, they weren’t scripted or story driven.

So here’s my list:

The Dick Van Dyke Show -- the sitcom art form at peak perfection.  Carl Reiner’s insight into what writing for a mercurial TV star is like (in his case, Sid Caesar on Your Show Of Shows, for Van Dyke’s Rob Petrie it was Carl Reiner as Alan Brady).  If you’ve never seen the show, start off with their two best episodes, “Coast To Coast Big Mouth” and “October Eve” (though they’re all good).  “October Eve” is the one where Sally (Rose Marie) finds a nude painting of Laura (Mary Tyler Moore playing Dick Van Dyke’s wife) in an art gallery.  SALLY:  “There’s a painting here you should know about.”  LAURA: “If it’s what I think it is, I can explain.”  SALLY:  “If you need to explain, it’s what you think it is.”

The Mary Tyler Moore Show – this is the first American novel for television.  It’s a novel of character, not plot, and it traces the growth of Mary Richards, a 30 year old woman-child who realizes she needs to grow up, as she blossoms into a mature, self-reliant adult.  You can select two episodes at random and by comparing her character growth determine not only which season they were filmed but when in that season.

I Love Lucy -- eking out a bronze medal for its longevity and pioneering of the art form.  The first sitcom shot on film, it led the way in the rerun market.  Not just a historical icon but consistently funny.

WKRP In Cincinnati -- as crazy as a sitcom could get and still be within the realm of plausibility.  Never loved by its network, they bounced it around for four seasons until it faded away (it made a syndicated comeback a decade later, of which we shall not speak).  Great supporting staff, dynamite writing.  While they never steered away from serious subject matters (such as an actual rock concert tragedy in Cincinnati where several fans were crushed when rushing the stage), they will be forever and justly remembered for the beloved “Turkey Drop” episode.

Fawlty Towers – only two seasons and a mere 12 episodes and yet more comedic bang for the buck than anything else on this list.  John Cleese as a frustrated, short-tempered, conniving hotelier practically writes itself.  SYBIL FAWLTY:  “You know what I’ll do if I find you’ve been gambling again, don’t you, Basil?”  BASIL:  “You’ll have to sew them back on first, m’dear.”

That Girl -- looking back it can sometimes be hard to judge just how groundbreaking certain shows were.  Marlo Thomas as a struggling young actress finding romance and success in Manhattan seems positively wholesome today, but in the mid-1960s it was considered quite daring and progressive.  The Mary Tyler Moore Show took their opening credits inspiration from Marlo Thomas’ character exploring Manhattan in the opening credits of That Girl.

He & She -- a one season wonder from 1967.  Another daring and progressive show for its era.  Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss played a young married couple, he being a cartoonist who drew a superhero strip (the actor playing the superhero on TV in the series was Jack Cassidy at his manic best).  Another show with a dynamite supporting cast…and just too hip for the room at the time (honorable mention to Love On A Rooftop, a similar show from the previous season that also proved too advanced for audiences at that time).  

Green Acres -- started out silly but quickly took a turn into the surreal, breaking the fourth wall, commenting on the opening credits as they ran by, all sorts of oddball stuff.  Dismissed as a hayseed comedy, the truth is the supporting cast possessed dynamite comedic chops and their sense of timing is a joy to behold.  Forms a loose trilogy with The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction since all three referenced the same small towns of Hooterville and Pixley  as well as occasional crossovers (honorable mention to the first season of Petticoat Junction which is as pure an example of Americana as one could hope to find and could easily be distilled into a feature film remake).

The Young Ones -- another two season / twelve episode wonder from the UK.  Four stereotypical English college students go through increasing levels of insanity as the series progressed.  Unlike most shows of the era where there was no continuity episode to episode, damage done in an early episode would still be seen for the rest of the series.  (They also would simply end a show when they ran out of time, not resolving that episode’s plot.)  Their random / non sequitur style proved a tremendous influence on shows like Family Guy.

Fernwood 2 Nite / America 2-Nite -- a spin off from the faux soap opera Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, this presented itself as a cable access variety show for Mary Hartman’s hometown of Fernwood.  With Martin Mull as the obnoxious host, Fred Willard as his incurably dense second banana, and TV theme song composer Frank De Vol as the band leader.  Because it’s so rooted in 1970s pop culture it doesn’t age as well as some other shows on the list, but many of the gags still land solidly today.  For the second season the show-within-a-show went nationwide and became America 2-Nite. Very funny, very well written, and all the more remarkable because these guys were doing five episodes a week!

Okay, so what can this list tell us?

Buzz is old.  Like really, really, really old.

Buzz stopped watching sitcoms in the mid-1980s.

There’s a reason for that.  By that time I was writing for TV and trying to get my own work done.  I didn’t have time to sit and watch TV on a regular basis (still don’t), and too often I could see the gears turning and guess where the episode was heading by the end of the first scene (still do).

I’ve veered away from “must watch” TV, especially shows that require the audience to keep track of what’s gone on before.

Tell me I have to see the first six seasons of a show to appreciate what happens in the seventh and you’ve just lost me as a potential viewer.  I’m strictly a one & done kinda guy now (though I will binge watch if a mini-series has a manageable number of episodes, say six).

My list represents a time capsule for what caught my interest and attention during a very formative period of my life, i.e., from the early 1960s as I became more and more aware that writing was where my future lay, to the mid-1980s when I hit a good peak stretch.

I don’t doubt there are great and wonderful hilarious comedies out there that I haven’t seen, I’m just listing what I have seen that did make an impression on me.

Your mileage may vary.*

    © Buzz Dixon

  *  It should vary!  Be your own person!

[aboutcaseyaffleck]

Casey Affleck Gets Philosophical About Life, Time & The Whole Damn Thing

“Time,” reflects Casey Affleck, “is something I have been thinking about lately. It is ironic how the older you get, the better you are at being patient. With less time left, people become better at waiting. But this year, I feel much older and a lot less patient. I guess you’ve got to accept that time is never wasted? That doing is no different than not doing? That you can’t kill time no matter what you do, and that no matter what you do you can’t prevent the opposite from happening either? I don’t know. It’s a double-edged sword.”

It’s a Wednesday afternoon in early January, and Affleck and I are doing the Zoom thing, ostensibly to discuss his two new movies, the recently released indie Our Friend and the upcoming 19th-century period drama The World to Come. Yet our virtual tête-à-tête has become far more interesting, jumping wildly from his love of trains and travel to weightier topics like family, the future and the search for something more, something meaningful.

“I like the idea that time is an illusion. That past, present and future are all happening at once. I like it even though I can’t totally get my head around it. But either way, the me in the mirror gets older every day.”

Like most of us, he’s not only had plenty of time on his hands in recent months, housebound in L.A., but he’s tried to use his downtime wisely. “I tried to use this year of quarantine constructively,” the 45-year-old Oscar winner says. “I tried to see it as a winter season for shutting down and restoring something inside, but I just couldn’t. I’m not that evolved, I guess. I didn’t take up a new hobby or learn an instrument or get better at ‘self-care.’ If anything, I let my better habits and routines fall off. It was all I could do to keep my head above water and help buoy my friends and children when I could.”

As a guy with two teenagers at home — Indiana, 16, and Atticus, 13 — it hasn’t been easy, but he’s doing his best. He tried taking his sons on their annual camping road trip over the summer, but it was short-lived. Instead, he’s been focusing on making a happy home. “My kids don’t get to see their friends a lot, so I’m doing a lot more stuff with them, coming up with activities for the three of us, which they mostly hate, and I mostly let drop. And then I try again with the same outcome 90 percent of the time.”

While trying to create innovative plans to sustain his boys, he came up with one he thought might do some good, too. In June, he launched Stories from Tomorrow, a social-media initiative focused on creative writing by kids.

“At the beginning of all this last March, the first thing that occurred to me was that the quarantine would have a big impact on young people’s emotional well-being — the disruption they’re going to feel is really going to affect their mental health more than anyone else,” he says. “When I would sit down to write creatively, I felt better. But I couldn’t get my sons to journal or do creative writing much. I didn’t want to twist their arms about it. So I was like, ‘I’ll make a social media platform that inspires young people to write creatively, because it is such a good way of working out difficult feelings. And the way I will do that is have well-known people read the kids’ writing publicly.’ I knew that hearing your own writing read was exciting. I thought it would be really inspiring, that creative writing would be a great outlet for kids stuck at home.”

He enlisted some of the biggest names in Hollywood, including Robert Redford, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Jon Hamm, Matthew Broderick, Kyle Chandler and Danny Glover, as well as two current costars, Vanessa Kirby and Jason Segel, and arranged for donations made through the program to go to children’s hunger nonprofit Feeding America and Room to Read, which supports female education. He reached out to schools in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Haiti, hoping to create a global community.

Affleck was excited to make progress, to have done some good, but the initiative didn’t take off as planned. “In the end, an Instagram account for creative writing by tweens just couldn’t possibly compete with the quintillion bytes of daily data generated online. I don’t know. But I tried! And anyway, since then lots of other organizations started doing basically the same thing, and they are more organized than I am, and they have done a better job. So be it.”

Yet, adults have been disrupted, too, including Affleck himself, who is aware that, relatively speaking, he has gotten through mostly unscathed. “Am I happy? I mean, I’m relatively okay. It’s been a hard time to find balance and to keep it. I would say it’s been a hard time in my life, but I know that it’s been harder for other folks. So far we haven’t lost anyone, and we haven’t lost our house. And I rediscovered that when you’re feeling bad, there’s nothing better to do than to try to help other people. Being of service not only helps others but is a great way of getting outside of yourself. Also — and I really believe this — I think this time will be remembered as one when our country made leaps and bounds in the right direction; we are changing and growing and it’s uncomfortable, but we will be much, much better. I wish I could see the next couple hundred years. It’s going to be amazing.”

At the end of the day, it’s family that’s keeping him going. “Having my kids around and being able to spend so much time with them has been amazing. It is the brightest silver lining in all of this. They are what gives me the most joy. They are funny and smart and interesting and interested. They are just the best company ever,” he says. “Anytime I try to parent out some ‘teaching moment,’ I find they are two steps ahead. They help me make sense of stuff just as much I help them, if not more. I don’t have any answers, but batting the questions around, back and forth, is a good way of coping.”

CALEB CASEY MCGUIRE AFFLECK-BOLDT feels he is luckier than most. Although he and many of his peers have gone jobless for a full year, he spent 2019 working hard. He had not one but three films done and dusted prior to the start of the pandemic; the last one wrapped a week before mandatory quarantine. Two of these have back-to-back release dates: the tearjerker indie Our Friend came out in January, and sweeping period drama The World to Come will be released February 12. Thriller Every Breath You Take is slated for later this year. “I am so, so, so glad I spent 2019 working that much. It is what kept us afloat all through 2020,” he says.

The films themselves are radically different, but there are a few common threads. In both of his winter releases, Affleck plays a man who has lost a family member and whose marriage is in shambles. In both, he is a man in pain.

In the LGBTQ masterpiece The World to Come, which revolves around the love that blossoms between two married women on the mid-19th-century American frontier, his character, Dyer, says very little but manages to convey a wealth of emotion with his eyes alone. He may seem stoic, but he is suffering.

“The World to Come is a story about a couple who have lost a baby. They’re dealing with the grief in totally different ways and having a very hard time coming together again,” he explains. “My character wants to heal that by having another, but his wife [played by Katherine Waterson] is coping in a different way. She is severing all emotional attachment to him because it triggers more and more grief. She [only] seems to come alive when she is with their neighbor, a woman on the next farm [played by Vanessa Kirby]. He wants his wife happy, but he also would like her to love him. To me, this is the story of how couples can have their relationship shattered by a sudden loss. And it’s definitely a beautiful story about two women who feel that they have to hide their love and find the courage to love each other anyway.”

Affleck likes layers. He himself has many, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s drawn to roles written as fully formed characters, not caricatures. With Dyer, that’s abundantly clear. “Crisis is fun to play, [and Dyer] is in an interesting crisis,” he says. “I think he’s a really good person — a really decent, solid, loving person — which is what I loved so much about playing him and what I love so much about the writing. It’s more interesting when there’s no bad guy, just a conflict of circumstances and feelings that get so complicated that it drives two people apart.”

In Our Friend, a different set of circumstances drives the leads apart. Affleck and Dakota Johnson take on the true story of Matthew and Nicole Teague, whose imperfect marriage was strained by his long absences and her affair, neither of which seem at all important when she’s diagnosed with terminal cancer.

“To me, Our Friend is really a story about how petty grievances between people can divide them and then be forgotten when a gigantic tragedy is dropped in their laps. [Matthew] was wronged, it’s true — his wife cheated on him. On the other hand, he wronged her in a bunch of ways; [they] were just more passive and not quite so salacious. He wasn’t around. Matt got to be a dad and he got to travel the world as a journalist. He left her to take care of the kids. She wanted to have a life too, she had dreams of her own — she wanted to be a singer, she wanted to work — but she didn’t get to do that. She just got to be a mom. She was left holding the bag, and it wasn’t fair.”

He spent a fair amount of time immersing himself in the journalist’s life while filming in Fairhope, Ala., in 2019. (The film’s title is taken from Teague’s award-winning Esquire essay, “The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word.” The friend in question — played by Jason Segel — is a man who puts his life on hold to help the family during their darkest days.) But he did not become Matt Teague, which is an important distinction. “[Director] Gabriella Cowperthwaite asked that we not portray the personality traits of the real people. No accents, no mannerisms. [But] I did steal his style, because I had never seen someone nail the dad look any better than Matt. I say that with affection.”

As for the dreams Nicole gave up for her family, Affleck says, “If you were to ask Matt, I’m sure he would acknowledge that he was neglecting his role. He was neglecting her dreams, and that is a part of marriage, supporting what the other person wants. Like all relationships, it was complicated.”

Like life itself, really. This is why he can identify with both sides. He understands Nicole’s pain about the deference of her dreams as well as Matt’s desire to escape through travel — especially now, when Affleck himself has been completely grounded. Since the age of 17 he’s taken 20 cross-country road trips. His love of driving is secondary only to his enthusiasm for trains: Amtrak is his jam. He even fantasizes about owning his own train car one day.

Immersing himself in each location — whether it’s the sleepy Alabama town of Fairhope or the more exotic locale of Romania, which served as a stand-in for the East Coast of the U.S. in The World to Come — is actually one of the most desirable parts of the acting life, he says. “One of the things I love about working as an actor is that you go to some brand-new place and the community invites you in in a way that they don’t usually if you’re a tourist,” he confides. “You get to see what it’s like to really be there and imagine yourself living there.”

And he has — over the past ten years he’s spent so much time in cities including his hometown of Boston; Vancouver, British Columbia, the location of Light of My Life; Atlanta, where he shot the 2016 action flick Triple 9; Argentina, where he made Gerry; Dallas, for A Ghost Story; Calgary, Alberta, where much of the epic western The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford was filmed; Our Friend’s Fairhope set; Cincinnati, for The Old Man and the Gun; and Braddock, Pa., where he filmed the 2013 drama Out of the Furnace. “I have loved moving in and settling down and living a character’s life and then moving on. But I feel most at home in places that are struggling to get by. It reminds me of the neighborhood I grew up in. I feel lighter in those places, more relaxed. I feel like myself. I fit in.”

For him, the where is almost as important as the who — immersing himself in the place is imperative to understanding his character. This is part of what makes him such an accomplished actor — he and most of the parts he plays merge. I draw a crappy analogy about how the characters are like a coat, which he very obligingly works with. “You have to build the coat from all of the scraps and pieces of yourself; all these characters are made up of little pieces of me,” he says, noting, “Obviously, sometimes they can’t be. Sometimes I have no connection whatsoever, and those are the jobs I look back on and I either feel nothing for, or worse. But sometimes you have to take the job that is available, like most people in the world. You know? I don’t think my dad wanted to be a janitor. But he did it.”

He’s won an Oscar, a BAFTA, a Critics’ Choice Award, a Golden Globe and an Independent Spirit Award, among others, and appeared in films that run the gamut from box-office juggernauts like the Ocean’s 11 franchise and Tower Heist to indie darlings like brother Ben’s directorial debut Gone Baby Gone and Manchester by the Sea. He has even written and directed, most recently 2019’s Light of My Life, a bizarrely prescient movie about raising children in a pandemic. At this point in his career, he should have his pick of parts. “Not really,” he says. “There are a lot of people out there who have done good work, who are driven, and who have something to share. I have never been someone studios embraced as a ‘movie star,’ never knighted. I have always had to fight for the parts I have gotten. And you know what? That’s fine. Let me fight. It’s how I cut my teeth, and it is how I will keep them sharp. You can’t ask for more than a chance to be in the ring. Also, movies and TV aren’t all I care about. Sometimes I think, ‘Well, jeez, I have to work, and there are two jobs available to me, and the one that isn’t as good is the one that is close to home and I can see the kids, so I guess I am doing that.’ I love movies and really try hard to make them good. I really bust my ass every day when I get the chance to make one. I care more about my family than any movie. It’s not [always] the job I love, but this is the reality of my life. But maybe life will be long enough for a few more chapters.

The forward momentum of his future is an interesting topic. At the moment, he isn’t so much planning for the future as he is exploring it, because Affleck is not someone who likes to live with regret.

“I guess [at the end of the day], regret should be reframed as a reminder to be different,” he observes. And so, with this in mind, he embarked on a personal journey several years ago and decided to go back to college (at the Simon Fraser University in British Columbia). He had completed two years at Columbia University, but he never graduated — his film career kept getting in the way.

“I went back to school because I hadn’t finished, and I wanted to think about new things in a way that school can help you do,” he says. “I couldn’t go in person, so I found a strong online school and got started. You know, I’m 45, and I just thought, ’This is halftime. This is where you hit the locker room and think about how you want the rest of the game to go.’ You know what I mean? Like, ‘Okay, we went out, we played our best, we didn’t know what the other team was going to be like, we made some mistakes, we are in the game, so let’s adjust like this.’ Also, I’m not sure I want to be an actor forever. I had made a small pivot from acting into directing, and into producing more. And I like to direct movies. The most satisfying creative experience I’ve had in a long time was being a director. But ultimately it wasn’t quite enough. So I wanted to go study some of the things I was interested in. I wanted to do more with my life.”

Although he needed general credits to graduate, he found an unexpected passion for juvenile justice along the way, with a particular focus on alternative accountability programs. “I don’t know where this will lead me, or why I am so interested in it, but finding and implementing better systems for addressing harm and conflict among kids, adults too, but mostly young people, is something I care about. And the work that I have done so far has been fascinating and deeply rewarding.”

When I ask if this stems from his own experiences as a troubled kid growing up in Cambridge, Mass., with Christine, a single mom — his parents divorced when he was 9; his father, Timothy, an alcoholic tradesman, checked into a rehab facility in Indio, Calif., when Affleck was just 14 — he muses thoughtfully, “I love my parents and think they both did the very best they could and cared a lot. Period. Did I get into some trouble as a teenager? I got into some trouble when I was a kid, and I struggled a lot through high school with depression and substances, yes. Much of it I didn’t even know wasn’t normal. I don’t know if I was ‘troubled.’ Either way, as an adult, I’ve come to see that, regardless of how I compare to anyone else, I want less conflict in my life. That might be part of the reason why I’ve been so interested in learning about better ways of resolving conflicts, both with children and with grown-ups. It isn’t something they teach in school for some reason. Man, there is a lot they don’t teach you in school, huh? A lot you’ve got to learn on your own.”

And on this journey, mistakes will be made. That’s par for the course, and Affleck is no exception. “I have made so many mistakes, but life is the time for mistakes. I do believe people should hold themselves accountable and repair harm they have caused. That is important to me, and I try hard to do that whenever it is called for: apologize for mistakes and repair them,” he admits.

This is when our conversation, as such conversations are wont to do, comes full circle. Before we say goodbye, Affleck remarks, “You know, I heard Bono talking on Howard Stern’s show, and he said something about Frank Sinatra that was interesting. He said that he heard two versions of Frank singing ‘My Way.’ One version was recorded when Frank was young, and the other version was recorded when Frank was old. Each had the exact same words, same arrangement, same everything. But when Frank was young the line ‘I did it my way’ sounded proud, and when Frank was old it sounded humble. Whatever else time does to a person, I think it also does that.”

[source]

[shmisolo]

I wanted to post the things I’ve made this year in one place.  I haven’t posted most of them over here—largely because I’m not tumblring a lot these days.  But I made a lot this year—both visual and written—that I’m proud of and wanted to share it out.  You can find this post also in tweet form here!

Happy 2020, Reylo friends!  It’s been a wild ride of a year, and mine couldn’t have been what it has been without you.

Visual

Alternate TROS Ending Gifset | World Between Worlds Graphic | Padmé quote gifset | Hadestown AU |  Alfa Gifset | ManDADlorian Video | Rey & Dark Rey Gifset 1 | Rey & Dark Rey Gifset 2 | Rey & Padmé Gifset | Rey Gifset 1 | Rey Gifset 2 | Rey Gifset 3 | Rey Gifset 4 | Rey Gif | Trailer Gifset 1| Trailer Gifset 2 | Trailer Gifset 3 | Kylo’s Karaoke Night Playlist | Graphic for lwaboc for @kylorenvevo | Graphic for Heart’s Flight | Graphic for YTCShepard | Gifs for Sugar, Honey, Honey for YTCShepard | Gifs for @sciosophia | Game of Thrones AU Graphic | Luke Gifset

Oneshots

Investiture for @misscoppelia

In which Ben goes to daven for his father’s yahrtzeit and manages to prove to himself once again that he is both a terrible person and a terrible Jew.

Oh and he sort of falls in love.

baby you can drive my car for @talltig

They call them “soulmates.” Probably because it leaves less of a sting in their mouths.

The Kitchen for flypaper_brain

Rey and Ben, hunting for their first house.

alone with a heart meant for you for @nuanceismyjam

Ben orders Grubhub; Rey's car breaks down.

myosotis for @rissanox

Ben picked the flowers for their wedding.

and beyond for @lilithsaur

“Please?”

For a moment, he thinks it will be like the first time, him begging, her crying and saying no and him not knowing how to protect his crushed heart.

But she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t say, “Please don’t go this way,” she doesn’t look horrified or disgusted. She just grabs him by the front of his shirt and tugs his lips down to hers before reaching down to cup his cock.

You, Me, and He for @rissanox, @persimonne, and @misscoppelia

When they say that Kylo's brain is in his groin, they're not far from the truth.

Alternatively,

In which Kylo Ren is his own penis.

Bliss, Balance and Birth for @selunchen​

Ben teaches their daughter to read.

💦💦💦💦

In which Ben accidentally implies that he gets his cardio from having sex on national television.

Favorites for @lilithsaur

In which Matt is preoccupied in getting Daisy the perfect token of his love on this, the two month anniversary of her agreeing to be his girlfriend.

A Trash Triplets AU.

Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out | Moodboard

“Listen asshole,” Rey says as she steps through the door of Poe’s deli. “You have exactly as long as it takes me to buy these cigarettes.”

Ben doesn’t waste a second breathing. “Metaphysically speaking, you and I are intrinsically and inexplicably linked,” he starts because there’s no time for beating around the bush and besides, Rey can sniff out a lie like no one else. “And I'm convinced our true purpose is to to connect with each other, if not help save each other's lives.” She’s opening her wallet and handing Poe a ten. “In another world, hopefully you are doing the same for me.”

The Other Thing for @persimonne

That’s what they don’t warn you about, he thinks idly. In his DesEd class, they’d warned him about knots, and heats, and ruts, and nesting. But they’d never warned him that her home would smell so much like her, like everything he’s ever wanted, that he would be unable to extricate himself.

“Can you make it a little more interesting in like...thirty minutes?” he asks her.

She pulls away and he immediately regrets saying a damn word.

“I could make that work,” she replies dryly. “I’ll pencil you in.”

A for... for @loveofescapism

Rey’s seeing double by the time there’s food on her plate. Oh. There’s food on her plate. That’s good. That’s unexpected at this point. “Eat,” Ben tells her.

So she does. It tastes good. Very good. She likes this food a lot.

“I’ll make sure she knows,” Ben says.

Oh she’s at that point of drunk where she’s just saying things out loud instead of keeping them in her internal monologue.

“You are,” Ben says, looking very amused.

She hopes she doesn’t say anything embarrassing.

“I promise, you haven’t yet, but oh boy, I’m looking forward to this.”

She shoves food into her mouth to keep herself from thinking out loud about his dick in her ass at his mother’s Passover seder.

do or do not (do the do)

In which Ben, in an effort to improve his stamina (look he's making progress, ok?) after reading some articles that he'll never be able to unread, receives some coaching (that he very much did not ask for).

(Very much did not ask for.)

(Not) Interested for @thewayofthetrashcompactor, @monsterleadmehome, @destiniesfic, yuktipatipriya

We're bringing Speed Dating back to Space Battles Bonanza! Register online for one of our special Bonanza sessions of 15 three-minute dates so you’ll no longer have to look for love in a galaxy far far away. Choose from one of seven speed dating sessions, two of which are queer focused. If the Insurgents can blow up the Doom Moon in 11 minutes, let’s see if you can make a love connection in only three.

There’s a history of successful Speed Dating at Space Battles Bonanzas, with long-term couples, engagements and marriages now among the alumni.

--

In which Rey & Kylo meet at their fancon's speed dating.

Never Die for @avamarga

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you.

Forged for @reyloner

There are several reasons that Ben would never have dreamed he’d ever receive this text. The first is that he’d be invited to a Halloween party. The second is that he’d never in his life expected to be in a serious relationship, much less the sort of serious relationship where his partner would suggest matching Halloween costumes. And the last is that he is dating someone who’s show only and they’ve only almost murdered one another twice. Because he’s an A Song of Ice and Fire fan. He hates Game of Thrones.

and getting caught in the rain for @kylorenvevo

What's the point of going to a family wedding if you're not going to hook up with your newly rediscovered brother's baseball coach?

A Picture's Worth for @selunchen

reyjay: hiya your art is amazing

reyjay: it’s a big ask but could you draw me for my art final tomorrow? i’m shit at drawing people and i can’t fail this. can you help?

He stares.

And stares.

And stares.

kyloren: is this some kind of a joke?

reyjay: no?? why??

kyloren: you’re asking me to help you cheat your exam, but you’re not even offering me money?

Bang for your Buck

“We ready?” he asks her, sounding huffy.

“Nice to meet you Ben, I’m just familiarizing myself with your training,” she replies.

“Ok, well I don’t have all day.”

“No, you have,” she checks her watch, “another hour.” Because of course he’d booked an extra long session. Bless that sweet, sweet overtime pay.

“And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks her and she glances up at him, sure that her eyes are flashing because that’s fucking rude. She’s a professional. Amilyn wouldn’t have hired her if she didn’t know what she’s doing, and just because he apparently thinks he’s the center of the universe doesn’t change that fact.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your bang for your buck,” she tells him icily.

Two to Tango

Rey: I need to ask you something awkward. Ben: What’s up? Rey: Can I give you a blowjob? Please?

atlanta > all atlanta > community > missed connections for @sand-its-everywhere

In which Rey meets a cosplayer at DragonCon.

Sonsick (I'll fall for you soon enough) for @jeenonamit & YTCShepard

Sheev and Snoke share a moment at the country club.

A Thousand Words for @monsterleadmehome | Moodboard

In which, some years later, Ben encounters someone he drew for nudes.

Truth and Death written for this year’s @reylofanfictionanthology

Ben opens the box. Inside, he sees the charred remains of a helmet.

------------

She is made of sand-turned-clay, where other moving creatures are made of flesh and blood. Their skin cracks in the dry Jakku sun just like hers, but they are alive in their organs.

Rey is alive in a different way.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year written with @jeenonamit | Moodboard

Rey convinces Ben--and his sentient penis--to go with her to a Halloween party.

What could go wrong?

(Working title: "Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo")

Shalom Rav! for @jeenonamit | Moodboard

In which Rey comes to terms realizing that she is attracted to the rabbi.

when the stars and moon align just so for @capaldisrighteyebrow

Songs spoke of red stars on nights that blood was shed. Stars bled too when the great fell. There were no red stars tonight. The stars did not bleed for Snoke.

Would they bleed for Ben?

She swallowed.

Because despite his own words—that he served his master (master, as though he were a draft horse to be yoked and plow the fields of men), that he would give everything to his master, she had seen doubt in his eyes that night, three years ago, when the stars and moon had aligned just so.

oh, my love, don't forsake me (take what the water gave me) for @reyloner and @loveofescapism

Their sabers clashed, humming in the spray, and Rey's heart was in her throat the entire time.

it’s you and me (i know it’s our destiny) | Moodboard

It’s just a kid’s game, he thinks when jealousy pangs in his heart. But it’s more than just a kid’s game.

It’s Pokémon.

It’s the only good thing in his life.

will you come when i call you (i’ll come when you call me) | Moodboard

Surely when Snoke had connected them, he hadn’t connected them like this.  

—

@reylo_prompts: “Due to the Force bond Rey and Ben always come simultaneously. Now they need to figure out how not to do that since it can result in awkward situations.”

The Sweater Curse for @jeenonamit & @commandercrouton

She’s never made a sweater before, but she saw the pattern on Ravelry and who cares if she’s only made (lumpy) hats before—she has to try it.  She has to make it. She has to make it for Ben.

“You realize that Hannukah isn’t an important holiday, right?” Ben asks as she makes eye contact with him.  His eyes are big and brown and—at this moment—mildly annoyed.

“Really?  Is it a giant conspiracy theory?  Part of the war on Christmas?”

“More than you realize,” Ben says and for the life of her she can’t tell if he’s joking.  He does this thing sometimes that’s confusing—where he’ll say something that sounds mopey but is actually snarky and it disarms her every damn time.  “In any event, ugly Hanukkah sweaters definitely aren’t a thing the way ugly Christmas sweaters are.”

“Well, they are now,” Rey says firmly.  “I’m making you an ugly Hanukkah sweater.  Deal with it. And stop moving.”

Ours Is The Fury for @reyloner & @commandercrouton

Rey was tasked with taking Storm's End for her king. She defeated the Storm King Snoke in the Rainwood, but when she proceeded to the castle itself, preparing for a long siege, things did not go to plan.

Seen ✔️✔️ for @ever-so-reylo | Graphic

His lock screen has three texts from Rey on it:

Rey Wife: Babe I know you’re probably busy right now, but you sent that pic to the wrong chat. Rey Wife: Bennnnnnn Rey Wife: Call me when you’re done processing your trauma.

And then about ninety chats from the Skywalker Ranch WhatsApp thread.

--

In which Ben sends a picture to the wrong chat.

With you, Always for @jeenonamit, @nuanceismyjam, and YTCShepard 

Rey's boyfriend is now a Force ghost but they're sure as fuck gonna try fucking anyway.

Chaptered Fics

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) for @nerdherderette | Complete | Moodboard

A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Carry In My Core (That Voice I Adore) | Complete | Moodboards

Starring in her first opera would be stressful as is, but Rey, always one to outdo herself, just had to go and make things even more complicated with Kylo Ren. It’s hard enough looking him in the eye, much less pretending to be in love with him. She can make it through this. She has made it through worse. She can make it through this.

shadow boxes | Complete

Just because they aren’t together, doesn’t mean they’re not in love.

anyway you want to (anyway you've got to) | Complete

But you know she's getting something other Than the love from her mother

A Porn Challenge in which your author makes Rey and Ben bone their way through the month of February.

words like tomorrow (or future, or fate) for @haloren1st​ & @staticcatfish​ | Complete

One day, Rey wakes in a body that's not her own in a town she's never been to before. Who is Ben, whose body she seems to be possessing, and who woke up in her body? Why are they connected this way?

---

A Your name. AU.

Above us, stars. Beneath us, constellations. for @valsansretour​ | Complete | Moodboard

Ben woke, but Luke’s saber wasn’t ignited. Instead, he saw a master who had shattered his trust, who thought he was a monster, and—worse—he was probably right.

So he fled Yavin IV, to Skywalker’s dismay, and no one heard from him since.

Years later, on a wasteland planet, a girl and a fugitive stormtrooper board a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter in desperation to find they are not the only ones trying to steal it.

Why Don’t You And I Combine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey’s phone rings while she’s at the farmer’s market. She lets it ring. They have a line and it’s only a few hours, and the girls are at school and it’s just her today, so she doesn’t have enough hands. Rose and Finn and Poe are helping Ben move furniture out of his apartment and into the house. They’re probably calling about something silly, or Ben’s calling to say he’s fully moved in and he’s lying in their bed—possibly with his hand on his cock—and that he’s thinking of her.

— 

In which life continues, grows, and Rey and Ben continue to rebuild their relationship.

A sequel to Let’s Get Together.

The Love Committee for @jeenonamit | Complete | Moodboard

In which Rey, tired of her bad luck with dating apps and failed relationships, enlists her friends' help in determining who she should date next.

They take it a little too seriously.

A Year of Me and You for autonomee | Complete

“After you move in with one another, give yourself six months to like one another again,” Maz says, looking at Rey seriously through her bottlecap glasses.

“I’m not going to fall out of love with—”

“No, no. Not love. Love’s not got anything to do with it, child. Like.”

--

Non-linear vignettes of various length, set during the first year Rey and Ben live together.

Hanging by a Moment for pillar-of-salt | Complete | Mix

There are many things that Ben could have tolerated about his parents’ divorce. That his mother had finally had it with his father’s borderline illegal—or rather, as he liked to put it, borderline legal—company, the shady activities it covered that would doubtlessly end her political career if a reporter got hold of them; that his father had finally had it with the way his mother nags, because sure, he’d thought it was hot twenty years ago, but he is in fact an adult who can actually keep his shit together—all that he would have gotten. He’d have been wrecked, but he’d have gotten it.

His dad leaving his mom for a nineteen-year-old gold-digger though, and his mother not even putting up a fight—that had caught him by surprise.

That had hurt.

Be nice to her, Ben, his mother had said on the phone when he’d spoken to her for the first time in five years. She just lost your father.

Yeah. So did I.

Cupcake Wars | Complete | Fingerpainting + Playlist

Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass.

in nobody's eyes but mine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey had spent too much of her life feeling as though permanence could only be transient so why bother with it. What was long-term? What was mating? What was home?

the water won’t have ya if the devil’s too blind for @thekesselrun | Complete | Moodboard

That water’s too dirty to wash away your sins.

“They’re not sins. I didn’t commit them against god. There is no such thing as god.”

Then whatever you want to call them. Crimes don’t get washed away by a river.

“It’s a cursed river,” Ben points out.

No, it’s a polluted river. Curses aren’t real. Not like that, anyway.

“Are you really well-actually-ing me?”

Yes, I am. Because you’re an idiot. Some extremely oily and not remotely potable water is not going to be able to remove the guilt you feel about killing your father, turning your back on your mother, murdering hundreds of innocents, and helping the First Order destroy the world. Especially when you knew I wasn’t going to let you die.

–

In which Ben Solo washes up on shore, very still alive and unsure of what to do next until a passing scavenger offers him a lift on her boat. Who is he now? Who does he want to be?

Apples & Honey for @peaceblessingspeyton | Complete | Moodboard

When Ben catches wind that his mother is planning to foist a potential girlfriend on him when he comes home for Rosh Hashanah, he takes matters into his own hands: specifically, he runs to Rey and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

There Is Another for @kylorenvevo | Complete | Moodboards: Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 7 | Ch 9 | Ch 11 | Ch14

“Mission success?”

“You will be interested in this.”

“Oh?”

Kylo glances back over his shoulder. The girl he had found on Takodana is still deeply unconscious, and will remain so for a long while. He had knocked her out as deeply as he could. She had fired at him the moment she’d seen him, resisted him tooth and nail. He does not want her waking up until he has her properly restrained, and he had not come to Takodana prepared to take any prisoners.

A shiver runs up his spine as he tries to shove away how it had felt, carrying her through that forest.

“Yes.”

“How so?”

The trouble with helmets is he can’t look Kira dead in the eye anymore. He can’t watch her face closely to see what will happen when he tells her,

“She’s you.”

Dear Mr. President | WIP | Moodboards: Ch13

Dr. Dameron shifts and slides a manilla folder across the desk to her. “Under ordinary circumstances, I’d let you keep the folder. I hope you’ll understand why I can’t do that this time around.”

She opens it and stares.

She stares and stares and stares.

Dr. Dameron has to be kidding. There have to be hidden cameras here, this has to be some elaborate prank. That’s why it’s him here and not Dr. Wexley—that was his name. Dr. Wexley.

But instead of getting to her feet and tossing her hair and saying he was cruel for playing with her heart like this, all she does is ask, blankly, “So...Ben Solo is my soulmate? Our new president is my…”

She swallows.

And Dr. Dameron nods.

so long lives this and this gives life to thee | WIP | Moodboard

His smile fades and he falls to the ground, his head hitting the ground with a sharp crack.

“Ben!” The yell echoes around them in the darkness and Rey lurches forward, her hands scrabbling over his face, his neck, trying to find a pulse.

She bursts into tears when she finds it. She doesn’t know why she’s crying. He’s alive.

———

In which Ben's Force Sensitivity—and not his life—was given to save Rey.

a little death (goes a long way) for @talltig | WIP | Moodboard

“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.”

“It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.

[margoshansons]

Desperate Measures: 9/?

Masterlist : Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: Finn schedules a meeting with the grounders, Y/N’s secret is revealed, and another tragedy strikes her and Clarke. But at least they have alcohol and party games

Warnings: slight angst, violence, swearing, references to sex, alcohol, teenagers being teenagers

Notes: I loved writing this and I wish there were more instances of parties in the 100 because they’re super fun to write and imagine. Based on 1x09 ‘Unity Day’

She had missed alcohol, especially the moonshine back on Agro station that she and Miller used to steal for each other's birthdays. As Jaha's speech continued to ramble on behind her, she was the first one to celebrate as Jasper and Monty brought out the still of moonshine.

"We call this batch Unity Juice!" Jasper called, dishing it out in the metal cups they came down with.

She and Miller clinked cups as they downed the burning concoction, their throats on fire as it rerouted to her brain, waking her up and sending a spike of adrenaline through her body. It felt so good to let loose once again, to just forget about saving the camp, forget about the grounders, and forget about her dumb feelings.

"Having fun yet Sparky?" Bellamy asked, stepping beside her.

She nodded, tension falling from her shoulders as the moonshine swished around in her stomach,  "The most fun."

A laugh escaped his mouth at the sight of Y/N going for another drink, gulping down this one just as fast as the last.

"Whoaaa" Jasper called from his buzzed state, "Looks like we may have someone who can give me a run for their money."

She flashed a smirk at the floppy-haired delinquent before grasping her gun and taking a post at the wall, her eyes scanning the forest for any sign of grounders.

"Hey, hey" Bellamy stopped her, grasping the weapon, "Uh, what are you doing?"

Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head, "Taking watch, someone has to."

"And that someone is me" He announced to her, holding another cup of unity juice in his hands, "You go have fun, you deserve it."

Y/N smiled cautiously as she traded the rifle for the alcohol, warmth filling her chest from the small contact that had passed between them. She sat down next to the fire, joining Jasper and Monty in the middle of a drinking game.

"Y/N!" The latter called, his friend too drunk to respond, "Thank goodness you're here. We're playing never have I ever and Miller's crushing us all."

A sneaky smile crossed her face as she joined for a round. "Don't worry, I know exactly how to take him down."

Miller leaned forward, an eyebrow raised in a challenge as it reached him once again. "Never have I ever had sex during the engineering test."

She drank, drawing the attention of the crowd toward her. She shrugged, "What? I was bored so I left for a bathroom break" The rest of the group burst into laughter, "I still got a perfect score though,"

"Bullshit" Raven called out, a crooked smile on her face.

She wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, making sure to leave the answer ambiguous.

"Alright Y/N," Monty replied, "it's your turn."

She smirked, recalling a fond memory from her and Miller's time aboard Alpha station. "Never have I ever stolen from the Chief of the Guard and the Chancellor in one day."

Miller shook his head in annoyance, "You asshole," He muttered taking a gulp from his cup as the crowd burst into oohs and ahhs. She shrugged, giggles escaping as her chest continued to fill with laughter. She was having fun, for the first time in a long time.

By the time it reached Raven, she could feel the buzzing in her stomach, her tolerance beginning to waver.

"Never have I ever…" The mechanic's eyes searched the camp, her question lingering before she came up with a proper one, "wanted to have sex with anyone in this camp."

Y/N knew the question was pointed at her, but she still refused to drink.

"Oh, whatever!" Raven called her out as everyone drank, "We all know there's someone you want to bang against the wall of the dropship, and we all know it’s Bellamy."

Y/N scoffed, a fit of laughter escaping her in order to conceal her true thoughts. "First of all, having sex in the dropship is impractical and filthy, and second, Bellamy and I are just friends."

Raven rolled her eyes, "Whatever, we all know you want to tap that." She smirked as she took another sip from her cup.

"It's not like they haven't gotten close" Monroe joined in the teasing.

"I always wonder what happens when you two go on hunting missions together" Miller piped up, a wide smile on his face as he watched his best friend squirm under the attention.

"Go on Y/N" Raven baited, "It's okay to admit you're human and want to have sex with him, just like the rest of us."

"Want to have sex with who?" Bellamy's voice rang out behind her and she froze, eyes watching as playful expressions tightened across the delinquent's faces before Raven spoke up again.

"I'm gonna go get some more drinks, anyone else want some?" Her eyes teased the poor girl before Monroe and Miller stood up to follow, leaving Y/N and Bellamy sitting by the fire alone.

He joined her on the log as he asked his previous question, "So, who do you want to have sex with?"

She rolled her eyes, "I thought you were above petty games."

"I am" He smirked, "But you're avoiding the question, so I thought I'd ask."

She took another drink to calm her rising nerves, "And so the asshole makes another reappearance."

Bellamy laughed at the comeback, Y/N's gaze flickering over his profile, examining the freckles on his face, his olive skin glowing in the orange embers of the fire.

"Here" he spoke, pulling out a group of berries from the inside of his jacket, "I thought you'd like some."

A gentle smile crossed her face as she reached into his palm, grasping at the red fruit before popping it into her mouth, "You're just trying to get me to sober up."

"Maybe" His lips tugged upward, "Or maybe I just wanted to share my findings with the smartest girl on earth."

She paused at the compliment, meeting his heated gaze. The gaze that kept flickering to her chewing mouth. She licked her lips, swallowing the berries, along with the nerves she had been hiding for the past few days.

***

She grinned in satisfaction as the washer she threw bounced off the table into the cup on Fox's side. She let out a cheer of victory as Drew and her clapped their hands together.

"You gotta drink that!" She yelled at Sterling, who rolled his eyes. She felt the weight of an arm on her shoulder and turned to face Drew, whose hand was now dangling close to her chest.

They watched in baited silence as Sterling lined up the next shot, landing perfectly in the tin.

"Oh come on" she complained, a bright smile on her face. She grasped the cup and plugged her nose, Drew shooting a wink at her before she downed the contents of the cup. "That all you got?"

"You're amazing at this Y/N" Drew complimented, a twinkle in his eye as he moved closer. "We make a great team."

Her response was cut off by a deep voice cutting through the trees. "Y/N!"

She whipped around, a wide smile growing on her face as she caught the movement of Bellamy Blake coming toward her.

"Bellamy!" She ran forward, his anger dissipating as she left the washer pong table. "I'm so happy you're here, we need a referee on our side, Monroe's too biased."

She barely caught the glare Bellamy sent Drew's way, eyeing the delinquent up and down before pulling her to the side.

"I need to talk to you" He glanced around, "alone."

Y/N looked around her, "We are alone." She gasped in realization, bringing her hands to Bellamy's face before pushing his face back and forth.

"What are you doing?" He asked as her hands smushed the area around his mouth.

"I just realized your freckles have the same pattern as the star charts we used to read from the Ark" She spoke frantically, "This is revolutionary, maybe there's a correlation between being born in space and genetic anomalies." She took her hands off his face, Bellamy breaking into a toothy smile involuntarily.

"Maybe that's why my blood is the color it is." She spoke aloud, "Maybe that's why we can metabolize the radiation so well." A wide smile crossed her face as her breathing grew faster, and she moved to pull out her book, "I have to write this down--"

He grasped her wrist, drawing her attention back to him. "The scientific discovery can wait, right now we need to go."

He pulled her forward, resistance meeting him. "It’s science!" She called out in protest, "What's more important than that?"

She felt her body tugged closer to his, brown eyes boring into her own, the air turning serious. They were inches from each other, both scanning the other as she licked her lips again, refusing to tear her gaze from the bottom half of his face. Bellamy’s hitching breaths ceased with a cough and he dropped the big news.

"Finn's set up a meeting with the grounders."

"So?" She asked, crossing her arms, "Take Clarke, she's more important anyway."

Bellamy rolled his eyes in annoyance at her stubbornness, "Lincoln said the leader won't talk unless you’re there."

She gulped.

***

Y/N shared a tense glance with Clarke as they stood atop the bridge, Lincoln, Octavia, and Finn behind them. She continued to stare down the stone structure, waiting for the treeline to reveal the people who have been killing them.

The sound of hooves drew the two leaders out of their fearful stupor, watching in awe as several horses clopped across the bridge, carrying several grounders decked out in masks and warpaint. A woman rode between them, her eyes shadowed by the black paint commonly worn by the grounders.

Clarke and Y/N moved forward, waiting in the middle of the bridge as the woman dismounted, her intense gaze locking on both of them.

"Your name is Clarke?" She asked, arms crossed.

"Yes"

The woman turned toward her next. "And your name is Y/N?"

She swallowed, holding her head high. "Yes."

"I’m Anya" The grounder replied, refusing to say anything further.

"I think we got off to a rough start," Clarke's voice cut through the tension, "But we want to find a way to live in peace. All of us."

Anya tilted her head, "I understand, you started a war you don't know how to end."

Disbelief coursed through Y/N, her expression incredulous.

"No" Clarke protested, "You attacked us for no reason!"

"No reason?" Anya's glare kept flitting to Y/N, "The missiles you launched burnt a village to the ground!"

"The flares? That was a signal meant for our families, we didn't mean to harm anyone."

Anya's dark eyes stared her down. "You're invaders," She announced, fists clenching, "Your ship landed in our territory." The two grounders moved forward, spears at the ready.

Y/N spoke up, "We didn't know anyone was here."

She saw a glint of respect cross Anya's eyes before the grounder turned back on Clarke. "You knew we were here when you sent a raiding party to capture one of our own and torture him"

Y/N closed her eyes in frustration before continuing, "That's because he kidnapped one of our people and held her captive." She stepped forward, the grounders following suit. "You were the one who fired the first shot, spearing Jasper and stringing him up as live bait."

Anya grasped the knife from her belt, her hand latching onto Y/N's wrist as she pricked the tip of the knife against her palm, drawing the black blood forward.

Clarke's eyes widened as Anya pulled away.

A reverent whisper shuffled through the grounders as they watched the liquid drip onto the stone below.

"You killed one of my warriors Y/N of the Sky People," Anya hissed.

Y/N refused to let her gaze drop, "He shouldn't have killed my friends."

***

Bellamy watched with bated breath through the scope of his rifle, the interaction not going unnoticed by the rest of the group.

"Grounder princess looks pissed," Raven muttered. The three of them stayed quiet as they watched Y/N and the grounder leader invade each other's personal space, both with crossed arms.

Bellamy bobbed his head slightly, "Yeah, well Sparky has that effect."

He sent up a prayer to whatever entity remained, please let them get out of this alive.

***

Becca's words rang in her head over and over. 

How you get to the goal matters. 

There's always another choice. 

Clearly, she hadn't met these people.

"Your commander is bold" Anya spoke to Clarke, sending a wary look at Y/N before facing the blonde again. "Is it true more of your warriors are coming down?"

"Yes," Clarke breathed, ignoring the previous statement, "but also doctors, engineers, farmers. People that can give you medicine and technology. People that will want to help you. But Ark Guards are also coming, and if they think you're a threat, they will wipe you out."

Anya mulled over Clarke's words sending another glance at Y/N before responding.

"Can you promise that your people will agree to the terms you and I set once they arrive?"

Clarke spared another look toward Y/N, who nodded, knowing it was better for Anya to know the truth than give them false hope.

"I-I can't." Clarke admitted, "I'm sorry."

Anya's eyebrows creased, eyes narrowing, "Why would I agree to an alliance that your people can break the moment they get here?"

"Because it's the only choice." Y/N piped up, holding her head up high, "We can help each other. With your knowledge of the land and our technology, we can both find a way to live peacefully."

Anya shot a wary look at the girl, and it almost seemed like she was considering her words until a gunshot rang out.

"You set us up!" Anya yelled, brandishing the dagger from earlier as she moved to lunge at Y/N. 

A bullet ripped through the grounder's arm instead, and Clarke and Y/N used the distraction to run back into the forest, their feet pounding against the grass as they followed their path back to camp.

Her side split in pain from the run back, and she grasped her ribcage as she panted, hoping to catch her breath again.

"I told you, no guns!" Finn yelled.

"And I told you we couldn't trust the grounders, I was right," Clarke yelled back, and Y/N had to agree with her. "They cut Y/N open to see her blood, who else were they going to kill?"

"They what?" Bellamy asked, his tone turning dark.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were up to Finn?" Raven's voice joined the conversation.

The longer-haired kid's face grew red in frustration, "I did, but you were too busy making bullets for your guns!"

Bellamy moved forward, "You're lucky she brought that! They were there to kill you, Finn."

"You don't know that! Jasper fired the first shot!"

Octavia threw a sneer at Jasper, "You ruined everything."

"I saved you!" He yelled back in protest.

Y/N watched as Finn invaded Bellamy's personal space again, "Well if we weren't at war already, we sure as hell are now." He then turned to Clarke, hurt in his eyes, "You didn't have to trust the grounders, you just had to trust me."

He stormed back into camp and Y/N finally had enough strength to pull herself up from her crouched stance. 

"Best unity day ever" She spoke sarcastically, a sonic boom cutting off any remaining responses.

The three leaders stared into the sky, watching as an object hurtled itself down to the ground at an unnaturally high speed.

"The Exodus ship?" Bellamy asked confused, "Your parents are a day early."

Clarke's face broke out into a wide smile while Y/N examined the ship itself.

"Something's wrong," She muttered, "Too fast. No parachute?"

She watched in horror as the ship disappeared behind the ridge of a mountain, the only remains of the people inhabiting it a mushroom cloud of smoke. She and Clarke collapsed into each other, pain setting their bodies aflame as they came to the realization that both of their parents were gone. 

For good.

Just like Wells and Charlotte.

Never coming back.

***

Bellamy sat on the edge of Y/N's bed, watching as she sucked the remainder of the black blood from her skin, allowing the prick to scab over.

"Well, now you know my big secret." She joked, a fearful look in her eyes as she met his gaze. Bellamy exhaled, grasping her hand in his.

"If black blood is your worst secret, I think we're okay." He teased, a smile on his face. She returned with a small smile of her own.

"My mom told me to keep it hidden" She spoke, a wave of nostalgia washing over her, "Said it was incredibly valuable. Said it was how we survived."

Y/N gazed off into space at the thought, "Marcus never saw it as a problem, always said that my blood didn’t make me special. He was always saying inspirational shit like that." She wiped the tears from her face at the thought of her adoptive father dying in a cloud of flame and smoke. Even as he arrested her, she hadn't wanted him dead. 

She’d never wanted him dead.

"Hey," Bellamy resisted the urge to pull her into his arms, "Hey it's gonna be okay. You don't have to be strong around me remember?"

Y/N sent him a grateful smile before playing with her fingers nervously. "He floated her." She spoke through her thick voice, "My uh, mom. Marcus floated her. For trading morphine of all things." 

She tried to laugh it off unsuccessfully. "A friend of mine needed school supplies, so my mom traded morphine from the clinic to get it. She was caught and …well you can guess the rest."

Bellamy's chest panged in sympathy, eyes scanning the vulnerable look on Y/N's face as he recalled his mother's own floating.

It's why he hated Jaha, why he refused to acknowledge any of the authority figures of the Ark. No wonder Y/N didn't want to talk to her dad.

“And then he- uh, arrested me.” Y/N continued, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. “Sent me off to the skybox without so much as a goodbye.”

"I'm sorry," He offered his condolences, wrapping his fingers in her own, thumbing the back of her hand.

"I've been losing people for as long as I can remember," She whispered, breath hitching, "I don't want to lose anyone else."

"You won't" Bellamy's chest thumped as he found himself wanting to fulfill that wish, "I promise,"

Y/N sent him a small smile, the two enjoying the comfortable silence they found themselves in.

We getting some quality time with these two, but this is probably the last bit of happy times we’re getting for a bit, so enjoy it!

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[padfootagain]

A Crimson Christmas (II)

Chapter 2: Erika

 Here we go for the next part of my Steve Rogers series! Will be focusing quite a lot on some character building for the reader, and some cute things with Steve. As several of you seemed to appreciate how I started the first chapter, I tried to make something similar for this chapter too. I hope you all like it!

Gif not mine

Word Count: 2417

18 000

11

400

150 000 to 300 000

It is a strange thing to sum up an event in numbers. It makes one's head spin, and yet it never quite stirs the true horror of a tragedy or joy of a miracle. Yet, most of the times, when trying to describe an event, using numbers as a first weapon is almost a reflex, an automatic response of our brain as it tries to grasp something it can't hold.

If one wanted to sum up the sinking of the oil tanker Erika in December 1999, off the shores of Brittany, they would use the 4 numbers written above.

The first is the number of litres of gasoline that were released in the ocean from the cracked hull of the ship.

The second is the number of days it took for the fuel to cross the distance from the wreckage to the shore.

The third is the number of kilometres of French coast that were polluted by the floating gasoline.

The fourth, and last, is the estimated number of birds that died in the catastrophe.

Numbers though are but abstract quantities, and if one wants to truly describe the event, there is no other way but to attempt to draw a fair picture of the shores at the time.

The scenery is easy. December 1999, a lot of grey and blue as a storm rages out. The violent waves end to pierce the already weakened steel skin of the oil tanker and cause its carcass to sink to the bottom of the ocean. Its sailors are saved, but the shipment, 30 884 tons of petrol, is partially released in the Atlantic Ocean. The attempts to stop the black wave to reach the coast are cut short by the storm that shakes the sea at this time of year.

11 days later, the first pools of gasoline touch the islands that stain the French coast.

4 more days and 400 km of coast are completely covered by toxic oil.

At first, it is but a few dots staining the sand, some grey caught in the foam left by the waves. A few hours later, there are large blocks of black sticky substance all over the seashells. The next day, the rocks, and the paint of the boats, and the sand are barely visible at all. The army is sent to clean the shores, but the scale is too great. Volunteers join in, with shovels and sponges and knives and brushes in an attempt to clean up every rock, every grain of sand.

Walking through a beach at this time is walking midst soldiers and volunteers. Every step is a fight against the sticky product, with boots sometimes buried ankles deep into the dark petrol. It is the fresh salty smell of seaweeds replaced by the sour one of gasoline. It is cliffs falling in black sand instead of the blue sea. It is bodies of birds stranded all over the place.

What did it change? For the people living on the coast, it is still today an open wound. If one tries to talk about the incident with the local population, they will be met by a pair of sad eyes and the tale of Christmas holidays spent ankle-deep in gasoline.

For the world? Nothing. Just one more incident to add to the long list of chasms carved in the environment.

For you? Everything.

You remembered the long ride from Saint-Malo to the western coast. First holidays since you entered University. For this first semester, you were majoring in all subjects, but you already had a vivid passion for bio-ecosystems, and in particular, marine biology.

Then the Erika sank. It was natural to go and help. You remembered Christmas day spent breathing the toxic petrol until it was all you could smell. Your boots buried in the sticky, black slime. Shovels and shovels digging the polluted sand. Soldiers all around you, but despite all this help, it wasn’t enough. You knew everything the gasoline would touch would surely die. It would take years for nature to heal. It had taken a few hours and a few minds craving for money to destroy it all.

You were picking up your fifth dead gull of the day. The gasoline, stuck to its feathers, made it impossible for it to float, and impossible for it to fly. Most of them had drowned, and all you could do was pick up the corpses.

You had ventured further than the rest of your friends, closer to the rocks now barely visible in all this black, when you heard a loud cry. A cormorant, without a doubt. You needed only a few seconds to spot the bird, covered in oil already, struggling to escape, struggling to avoid drowning, struggling to survive…

Somehow, it was just too much. After all you had seen that day, it was the last thing you could endure. You didn’t think at all as you ran across the slippery rocks and jumped in the salty water, trying to keep your head above the petrol.

You grabbed that poor agonizing thing in your arm, trying to keep it afloat, and you didn’t let go as it tried to escape.

The sea was far from calm though, and the thick layer of gasoline made it impossible to swim. At the first big wave, you were submerged, swallowing a bitter gulp of mixed salty water and fuel. You heard then the distant voices of your friends calling after you, they sounded scared, and you realized that you were too. Another forceful wave had you pushed against the rocks and you hit your head hard, and all went as dark as that bloody gasoline…

The rest was a blur. You remembered waking up in a hospital bed a week later, a real miracle. You should have died, that was what everybody said. But you didn’t, instead, somehow, you lived with new abilities.

You didn’t know where they came from, and were too scared of what any doctor could do to you if you ever showed any sign of abnormality, you had seen too many movies and read too many books to ignore the threat of becoming a lab rat. Years later, the Avengers formed, and you were spotted by Nick Fury. What had happened in your mind when you accepted to join them, you didn’t know. You reckoned that in the end, it was worth it all. This moment now, especially, made it all worthwhile.

After all, seeing Captain America wearing mascara and red lipstick was a sight to see.

"Mets tes lèvres comme ça!" the ten-year-old girl instructed Steve as she pursed her lips to show him what she wanted him to do, and he imitated her.

"Parfait!" she clapped her little hands in excitement as she added even more red to Steve’s lips.

"Gwen, laisse-le tranquille," your brother admonished, trying to rescue Steve from the excited child. But Steve merely smiled.

"It’s okay, we’re just playing," he reassured the worried father.

"Lèvres! Comme ça!"t Gwenn called Steve back into position and he pursed his lips again.

You picked up your phone and sneaked a picture, that you immediately sent to the entire Avengers WhatsApp group. With the different timezones, you reckoned you would have no answer before a few hours, but it was worth the wait.

It was true that joining the Avengers had meant a lot of changes, a lot of risks, a lot of pain. But it meant that you had met your best friends as well, and you couldn’t refrain a tender smile as you watched Steve play with your niece now.

"Y/N… the coffee is growing cold!"

You reached absentmindedly for your cup and warmed the beverage again. Your sister gave you a look.

"Cheating again."

"Controlling water has to have a few advantages. My drinks are always at the perfect temperature!"

She rolled her eyes.

"So, for how long are the two of you staying in Saint-Malo?"

You merely shrugged as an answer.

"We don't really know. I mean, we're supposed to just stay for the holidays, but I guess we don't know what to do next."

"Ha… retiring superheroes… poor you. You will definitely not have the complete retiring allowance now! Does that even count as a job, superhero?"

"I don't think it does. Shit… I've lost all these years…"

The two of you giggled, but your father did not.

"You should think about what to do next. And you could stay here. It's home."

"Papa, it's not that easy."

"Why not? Because monsieur muscle over there won't move here for you? So, you could be with your family."

You and Steve exchanged a glance.

"Well, we… haven't really talked about that," Steve tried to elusively respond, but it failed.

"You've spent years living a dangerous life. It's time to settle down. And you have to think about financial security now."

"Papa…"

"You need to get a job. A real one."

"Saving the Earth was not a job important enough for you?" you fired back, feeling more and more annoyed.

"You wasted years over this superhero adventure. I'm not saying it was useless, of course not. And I am proud of you. But you sacrificed your life during all this time. You didn't settle down, you didn't think about having a family, you didn't think about your old days… And I think it's time for you to have a normal life for a change."

You considered his words, and realized there was wisdom in them. You didn't quite like the way he put it, but you couldn't deny that you had spent years putting your life on the line. And maybe he was right, maybe now it was time to think about your own happiness before everyone else's.

"And you?" your father turned to Steve, his tone accusatory. "Don't you want her to be happy?"

Steve was playing your fake boyfriend, yet, he didn't need to lie to answer that question. And you could see it, deep down, in the depth of his blue eyes, that he meant the words he spoke. That was what friends were made for, right?

"There's nothing I want more than for Y/N to be happy, sir."

It was hard to look away from his baby blue eyes for some reason. Despite his funny look, covered in make-up, you didn't want to laugh at all. You just… wanted to keep on looking at him.

You guessed that you were letting your thoughts drift too far, and forced your brain to focus on your family again.

"We'll see, papa," you gave your father a smile. "It's not that easy to decide what to do next. It was our life for so long."

"I haven't forgotten how much you had to sacrifice," he mumbled in a dark tone, and you knew that he was referencing to the years you spent on the run with Steve.

You heaved a tired sigh.

"We've talked about it… countless times. It was my choice to make, and I agreed with Steve. You would have preferred for me to become a pawn that could be used by governments whenever they wanted?"

"Of course not. Governments couldn't be trusted…"

"Then why are you still bringing that up?"

"Because I didn't see my daughter for two years, that's why!"

You heaved yet another sigh, and Steve finally stood up from his spot on the carpet where he had been playing with Gwen. He took some cotton and started to clean up his face.

"I think we've both had a life that was out of the ordinary for too long," Steve spoke with a slow, quiet tone, his voice deep and calm showing he had been giving the situation a lot of thought. "It's hard to imagine what to do with the life we have left. I think… we just need a little time to let it all sink in, the truth that it can be over, that we don't have to be the ones in charge anymore. I think… we had both come to be at peace with the idea that we didn't have the choice of a life of our own. Now that we do, it feels strange. We don't really know what to do with it. Personally, I've never been anything else. We just need a little bit of time, to get used to it all. Then, I'm sure the decisions will come to us quite naturally. In the meantime, we just want to enjoy Christmas."

He reached for your hand, and you guessed that it was just for the act. Just because he played your fake boyfriend. It would be logical, if you were a couple, to be holding hands then, you reckoned. He was right. Besides, it felt safe to hold his hand.

"You know, I think I'm very tired after our long journey and everything. We should go to bed," you proposed.

Your grandmother finally joined the conversation.

"I've forgotten the blankets."

"I know where they are, mamie, don't bother."

But she was already walking towards the bedroom, and after you bid goodnight to your family, while they were getting ready to go as well, you and Steve joined Martine in the bedroom she had prepared for Steve and you.

You were not surprised to find that she had already put the blanket upon the bed.

"Oh, I forgot," she explained, but you were not fooled.

There was a short silence, before she heaved a sigh.

"Your father is worried. He always is. He's just not good at showing it. He does it all wrong."

"I know."

"It doesn't matter what you choose to do next. We're all here for you. Et puis, je l'aime bien, ton petit Steve," she added with a tender smile towards your 'boyfriend'.

He gave her a warm smile.

"I'm glad you like me, I've spent a lovely afternoon with you, Martine," he answered.

"Tomorrow you can show him the town," your grandmother instructed you.

"Yes, I will."

"Goodnight, les amoureux!"

You could only bury your face in your palm. She had to call you lovebirds, of course… if only she knew the truth.

"Bonne nuit, mamie."

The second she closed the door behind her, Steve and you exchanged a tired glance. It was more than time to go to bed. Tomorrow would be a brand new day. And there was much to do, and many questions to find answers to.

********************************************************

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[blodreina-noumou]

I was tagged by: @teeandsnowflakes and @boomheda! Two of my faves in this fandom. <3 Thanks ladies!!

List your top ten ships without looking at the questions, then answer!

1. Peraltiago (Jake x Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

2. Memori (Murphy x Emori from The 100)

3. Cheleanor (Chidi x Eleanor from The Good Place)

4. Hosie (Hope x Josie from Legacies)

5. Deanoru (Karolina and Nico from Runaways)

6. Stelena (Stefan x Elena from The Vampire Diaries)

7. Linctavia (Lincoln x Octavia from The 100)

8. Sizzie (Sebastian and Lizzie from Legacies)

9. Clexa (Clarke x Lexa from The 100)

10. Janason (Janet x Jason from The Good Place)

1) Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Stelena: I actually think I really fell for them when they had their scenes at the Gilbert family lake house. They were so soft and safe with each other. For a little while.

2) have you ever read fanfiction about 2?

Memori: Here and there. I’m not big on fanfiction though.

3) Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr avatar?

Hosie: No, though they probably would/will be if I ever make a Legacies sideblog.

4) if 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Linctavia: I’d be happy, because it would mean Lincoln was alive, and there was still hope for them. 😭 But Lincoln’s dead, so technically speaking, they’re already broken up. By death. Ugh.

5) Why is 1 so important?

Peraltiago: They’re a really good example of a healthy “opposites attract” relationship. They had time to build up and figure each other out, and they’ve both grown together. They work through their issues in a respectful, loving way. You never get the feeling that they don’t like each other, even if there are things about each other that they don’t absolutely love. Plus, Melissa and Andy have great chemistry, and they make for a very cute couple. Shipping can be shallow. 

6) Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Clexa: ... I still cry about it sometimes. There was never anything funny about them. God bless the people who managed to make crackposts out of that epic tragedy.

7) Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Memori has chemistry beyond like, anything reasonable. They’re on fire. Any moment where they’re on-screen together is charged - with sexual tension, with love, with desperation to protect each other. Those two know how to emote. Clexa is a close second.

8) out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

Cheleanor lasted through several iterations of eternity. That’s a damn strong bond right there.

9) How many times have you read/watched 10’s fandom?

The Good Place: I’ve seen every episode at least three times. When I’ve had time to heal, I’m gonna go back and watch in order again.

10) Which ship has lasted the longest?

Cheleanor, because, again, literally several iterations of eternity. Janason is up there, too. The Good Place has a real wacky timeline, lol.

11) How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Stelena: Like... four? Three for real, because once was to fool Katherine. I think. She breaks up with him real early on because she doesn’t think it’s gonna work, with all the craziness. Then, they separate again in s3, although they don’t really break up after Stefan leaves with Klaus... it just kinda falls apart. Then they get back together, but break up when Elena develops feelings for Damon. They only had like, three happy weeks together total, lmao. Lotsa angst in that one.

12) if the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Memori or Sizzie, huh? This is actually a tough call, because although Murphy and Emori are a lot more suited for the apocalypse (that’s their universe, after all,) Sebastian is a semi-indestructible immortal vampire, and Lizzie is a powerful siphon witch. Frankly I’d pay good money to see all four of them team up. But if it came down to it, I think Murphy and Emori are scrappier, more used to survival-based adversity, so they’d have the advantage.

13) is 4 still together?

Technically speaking, they haven’t gotten together... yet. I’m really hoping they do in the next couple of seasons, though. #hosierights

14) is 10 canon?

Janason - Yes, in the cutest way possible. I love Janet x Jason forever. J + J!

15) if all ten ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Ooooooh...that’d actually be really tough. It’d be a damn good show, though. 

Sadly, I think Janason is automatically out of the running - if the battle royale doesn’t take place in the afterlife, Janet and Jason are just two relatively normal, good-hearted people. Same with Cheleanor. None of the characters from The Good Place are made for combat. I’m throwing Stelena on the kill list, too, because Elena was mostly mortal when she was with Stefan, and he’s just one regular vampire.

Peraltiago is a weird wild card, because they’re only human, but they have guns, and hand-to-hand fighting experience. If they shot fast, they’d get pretty far. But could they? We’ve rarely seen them discharge their weapons on the show, and usually without serious consequences.

Almost every other couple on this list would have some advantage, though. 

Memori, Clexa, and Linctavia all have legitimate battle experience - both Lexa and Octavia won their own combat competitions. Murphy and Emori are scrappy survivors, and Lincoln and Clarke are both formidable fighters, too. Half of them also know how to shoot guns.

Deanoru, Hosie, and Sizzie all include people with unique supernatural powers, plus a werewolf/vampire/witch tribrid and a regular vamp, to boot.

I think, ultimately, it would come down to a battle of the supernaturals, and Hope is canonically the strongest of them all. Throw in Josie, and I think everyone else is pretty much screwed.

16) Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Deanoru - I don’t think so. A lot of people hated the flash-forward in the last episode, where it showed that they’d broken up for a bit, and they blamed the girl Karolina ended up with. But I think that was just like...a normal thing to have happened, given the circumstances.

17)Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Not really any of them, tbh. I think shipping should be relatively light-hearted.

18) Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

Cheleanor - Not anymore. I did when the show was still airing, though. Sadly, their story is now done.

19) if an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink?

...is it cheating if I pick one of the ships that’s already doomed, lmao? I mean, Stelena is canonically dead, never gonna happen again, so. I’d just pick them. They were happier in-universe broken up, for the hot second that they were both alive to experience that. But I’ll always have my early memories!

Tagging: @twinzmoon @murphystartedthefire @johnmurphysreddit @hosie4legacies @kingrosalie @bombshellsandbluebells @blodkru @blodreina @nightbleeder and anyone else who sees this and wants to steal it!!