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#and no one would turn the machines off because they did it to themselves by slipping on the wet floors
todayisafridaynight · 3 months
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THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO
masato hot
#snap chats#just like me... heh ... my ac has been broken all month im melting for the love of god send an iceberg im begging you#him turning into aoki is incredibly funny to me like jesus christ. what a lack of self love does to a mfer#but anyway 1.) please do not yell i scare easy 2.) meaner has been said its ok 3.) very reasonable to ask why anyone would like aoki#and 4.) to be Cereal he's inch resting to me. also his speech to ichi at the end hit a lil close and i was reminded of high school#5.) i really like his eng dub voice sorry im american. BUT HIS JP VOICE IS EXCELLENT TOO IM JUST SAYIN#rgg doesnt give an Exact on his disability so looking into lung diseases/conditions has also been interesting#esp post-lung surgery cases and care too so i thank rgg for the opportunity to do some reading#i also do In General just like cases of someone wanting to be loved and changing drastically to get it only to still be unhappy#granted. he sucks so LMAO can only have so much sympathy but it's still interesting to watch#the arakawas is also a part of why i like him because they all work as a big machine. if that makes sense#like the arakawas in general are such an interesting bundle i love all of them a lot because of what they mean to each other#in the case of aoki none of them mean anything to him at most resenting arakawa and despising ichi#meanwhile sawashiro's just. There LOL im so sorry king thats the truth of it all ... i love you tho ...#oh but back to aoki. i also really like politican characters- or at least characters who can have a 'public' persona#its fun thinking about what they have to do mentally to present themselves in public versus when they can 'be themselves'#like aoki's 'intro' scene where he's pleasant to his secretary and then a second later is conniving with ogasawara... peak i fear#OR THEEEE CAR PARK ONE i love that scene so much ...#very fun.. aoki being a politician just makes it infinitely funnier like guys we gotta bully the governor#plus i live and breathe by a glass analysis/comparison a twitter mutual of mine did ... i love glass imagery .......#uhhhh is that all ... idk prob im literally sweating my skin off i cant think right. my clothes are sticking to my skin i hate summer#i dont hate summer im so sorry i didnt mean it .... summer is beautiful .. i just wish this heat wasnt murdering me
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crimeronan · 2 years
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i woke up after horrible nightmares earlier and could walk without limping and was like "sweet! i'm cured!" then after eating food and being awake for like a half hour i couldn't keep my eyes open and accidentally fell asleep for another 7 hours and had more horrible nightmares. my first 19 hour painsleep binge in a while. recovery is not linear sometimes this happens two steps forward one step back etc etc etc but. Girl.
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rin-may-1103 · 8 days
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College Rivalry with the Genius Toddler in the First Row.
My take on this prompt Requested by @purplereaderfans
Danny looked up from his paper, a bright green crayon clutched in his small hand. Jazz patted his head with a quick smile, pushing her chair in so she could start making her way to the teacher, something about the wrong definition if Danny had heard what she'd been muttering correctly.
grumbling, Danny shook his head in an attempt to fix his hair. he hated how everyone was treating him like a child, he was sixteen, almost seventeen for Ancient's sake!
sure, he looked like he was three, but was this really necessary? head pats, baby talk, dumbed-down explanations; it's like they don't notice that he's still mentally a teenager. Like, seriously?
Mom and Dad had been the ones who created the damn device, they should know how to fix this, but did they? no, because; "Aww, Jack, look at him! Isn't our baby boy just the cutest!" and "Why yes, dear, we should get more pictures! It's not like every day a parent gets to witness their kid's toddler years again!"
danny hated it, even Vlad was treating him like a baby! Danny never wanted to hear the man try and speak to him like that again. it might actually be his new nightmare fuel, you know if he wasn't still using what happened with Dan and Pariah to fuel his consistent nightmares, that is.
Danny was ready to start blasting people's knees the next time someone so much as even hinted at dressing him up again. thankfully, for everyone's safety, Jazz noticed he was still mentally normal. She volunteered to take care of him while their parents worked on a way to reverse what their new ghost machine caused. (though he doubted it would be anytime soon, considering the GIW was acting up again.)
which, by the way, apparently wasn't supposed to have de-aged him, but in fact, just you know, 'barrow' his naturally made ectoplasm and knock him out for a few minutes. Ancients, his parents were insane.
he should have known they were going to do something stupid, but no; he had started slacking after revealing his phantom form and getting accepted by them. Because, again, why would he need to keep an eye on them and what they make when they promised to never try and hurt him and his normal rogues again?
they're adults, they should know how to handle themselves. but no.
oh, ho ho, was that such a big oversight on his part. they were Fenton's, of course, he should have kept an eye on them.
no longer making ecto weapons, his parents wanted to learn how to help peacefully capture raging ghosts and how to help heal the injured ones (mostly how to help Danny when he gets hurt). Noble, right?
right?
Wrong. somehow, they managed to create a de-aging device when they were trying to come up with a way to knock out an angry ghost without hurting them. How? Just how?? and what do they do without even testing to see if it would even work? use it on him. because, oh, danny's half ghost, and it's only supposed to make him tired right now, not knock him out. it should be fine.
and now he's a toddler.
a three-year-old toddler.
"psst!" someone hissed, dragging danny's attention away from his crumbled crayon. blinking, Danny dropped the crayon on the table and grumbled. this was the seventh crayon this morning, he really needed to get his strength under control before someone noticed.
"psst, hey kid!" they hissed again, making Danny sigh. turning his head, Danny glared at the weird dude who kept trying to talk to him. The dude usually talked to him like he was an adult, which Danny appreciated, if it wasn't for the fact the dude was hellbent on figuring out danny's secrets.
all because Danny scored more than him on a dumb test.
"What?" Danny grumbled, wiping the crayon crumbs off his hands and onto his pants. the dude, Danny thinks his name is Tam or something, frowned at Danny, watching him wipe the last of the obliterated crayon away.
"aliens," he hisses, leaning forward so he could stare more intently into Danny's eyes. "that has to be it, you and your sister are aliens. probably from some planet that's more advanced than ours."
danny blinked, studied the dude for a second, and blinked again.
"no," turning back, Danny grabbed another crayon and started filling out the worksheet in front of him, making sure to use as little of his super strength as possible.
the dude groaned and slammed his head onto his desk, the sound echoing out and around the silent room like a gunshot. Jazz snorted, pulling out her chair and sitting down. "that one has got to be one of the worst theories yet," she chuckled, turning her body to face the dude.
"you seriously can't believe my brother and I are aliens just because we got higher test scores, Tim." Jazz explained, casually leaning sideways in her seat so she could see him.
the dude, Tim, just groaned, slamming his head back into the desk, his voice muffled, "I wouldn't have a problem with it if it was just you," Tim lifted his head, glaring at him as Danny continued to carefully fill out his worksheet. "I can accept the fact that I'm not the smartest person in the room, I don't like it, but I can do it. I even respect it, having this much knowledge takes a lot of work and dedication, but him?"
"He's three, Jazz. he should be just starting to figure out the names of colors, and noticing differences between things. not astrophysics-level math questions from an April Fools gag test that our Psychology teacher jokingly gave us." Tim's eyes somehow got even narrower as he continued his rant. Danny valiantly tried to keep himself from laughing; Jazz said it was rude to laugh at people, especially if they weren't mentally all there, so he couldn't laugh.
but by the ancients was Tim making it hard.
with a fianl dash, danny smiled triumphantly. Setting the crayon down, he gave the paper a quick once over before deciding he was finally done filling it out.
now, for the moment he was waiting for; turning in his seat, Danny excitedly held up his paper, "Look jazz! I did it!" he had finally managed to complete the paper without ripping the page! and he'd only broken seven crayons! it was progress! there was hope! but Tim didn't need to know that, no, he needed to think Danny was excited about completing the paper.
Jazz, who was just as much of a gremlin as Danny, smiled as she patted his head, "Good job Danny! I'm so proud of you! why don't you go turn it in, I'm sure Mr. Kronmatil would love to see it."
smiling, Danny turned, climbed out of his seat, and started to make his way over to the teacher.
Tim grumbled in annoyance, his crazed theories and curses filling Danny's ears like the sweet sweet sound of music. if there was one good thing that came out of this whole fiasco, it was that Danny was able to work on his studies and cause as much chaos as possible while doing so.
being treated like a baby was all worth it when Danny turned and spotted the same confused and crazed look Tim had been giving him all week. yes, being de-aged wasn't fun, and he didn't appreciate being partially interrogated every time he entered the same room as Tim, but man it was so worth it when he knew he was driving one of the Gotham bat's nuts.
all because he scored higher than him on a test.
He couldn't wait to see Tim's face once the scores were announced tomorrow. He was so going to tell Lady Gotham all about it later.
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drugsorgasmsandcheese · 7 months
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trouble, j. miller | chapter one
mob!joel miller x fem!reader
chapter summary: after getting fired from your job at the bookstore, your grandparents introduce you to the man who’s been helping them out for awhile: joel miller. now, it’s his turn to help you.
chapter warnings: reader swears and has dry humour (she’s a bit of me x), mentions of vip’s getting touchy but it’s hypothetical if that makes sense?? reader calls her grandparents ‘pops’ and ‘nonna’, no beta cause i cba, blah blah blah that’s it
also no hate to anyone who reads romance/physical smut books, the hate is simply towards minors who read them & their parents for allowing them LOL
word count: 2518
(series masterlist)
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you really don’t know how much longer you can do this.
you’re six hours into your ten hour shift. you’re bored, you haven’t had your lunch break, and your phone is charging behind the desk where you were watching criminal minds before two teenage girls walked into the bookstore.
you’ve watched them for the past twenty minutes. they practically ran to the romance section, picking up books and flicking to certain pages you know had the most pornographic scenes in them before they’d giggle amongst themselves and add it to the pile they were building.
can teenage girls even afford this many books? you had been working since you were sixteen, and you’d barely get enough money to buy yourself two books whilst the rest would be stored away for college. and is this what people were reading nowadays? a male character that exudes toxic masculine standards whilst the author plays into the whole “innocent, virginal” female character who hadn’t the slightest clue about sex or life? is this what parents were allowing their children to-
“we want these books.” a demanding voice speaks to you, and you almost have to do a double take when you see the two teenage girls stood before you at the counter. god, you couldn’t even rely on the younger generation to be polite these days, especially not when one of them is judging you for your oversized hoodie and sweats and the crocs that sit on your feet.
“of course.” you force a smile, biting back on the insults you wish to hurl upon them. but, your boss is in the back. probably doing jackshit like she usually does, leaving you to work your ass off without any breaks.
the scanner scans the barcode on the back of every book before placing them in two bags. dante’s nine circles of hell sounds more appealing than this. you might just grab one of the books and hit yourself with it, hoping you hit so hard you might pass out and get to leave early. not like your boss would allow it, but the thought of having a hot shower and slipping into bed sounded nice.
“and your total is $194.68, is that going to be cash or card?” you rest your hands on the counter, looking at the two girls. one of them whips out a card, so black and matte you almost feel the courage to ask her if: it’s her fathers, and if so, is he single?
you hand her the card machine where she taps the card, and once the payment is deemed successful, one of the girls takes the bag, looks into it and frowns. “these aren’t in the right order.”
“excuse me?”
“the books aren’t in the right order.”
there’s a right order to put books in. none of them were even a series, and even then, does it really matter if your fucking fairy porn trilogy is separated?
“did you ask for them in a certain order?”
the girl gives you a look. “no?”
“so then why would i know what order to put them in?” you’re so done. you’re so fucking done, mentally, physically, and in the eyes of your boss, as well. the girls look at you, mouths agape, probably because they didn’t think they’d be spoken to this way, but you always said that the second a customer is rude to you, you’re being rude back.
the duo scowl at you as they leave the store, muttering insults under their breaths like it was a middle school friendship break up. you sigh, going to turn around to grab your phone when you jump back, spotting your boss leant against the wall.
“you’re fired.” she states.
“yes!” you fist pump the air sarcastically, grabbing your stuff and practically racing out the store. you didn’t even care if you were supposed to wait until the end of your shift to fully leave your job. you were hungry, tired, and your pops and nonna had told you that pops’ infamous burgers would be made for dinner and you were eager.
on your walk home, you listen to your music. it was relatively dark outside, and ideally, as a woman, you shouldn’t be wearing headphones in the dark. but you had always been more frightened by the noises you could hear rather than the ones you couldn’t.
you step into your home, taking your shoes off by the door and walk into the kitchen. you stop at the sight. your pops and nonna were stood in the kitchen talking to a man you have never seen before and you’re almost offended that your grandparents hadn’t allowed you to meet him because jesus christ and all things holy, that man is beautiful.
he’s tall. scarily tall, actually. and not to say you have a thing for muscular men but you would not mind letting this stranger throw you about. he leans on the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest as he eyes you up.
“he. who is he?” you point to the man, looking at your grandparents.
your nonna tuts your name. “he is joel miller, helps us out where we need it. why are you home so early, sugar, i thought you had a ten hour shift today?” nonna embraces you, kissing your cheek as she taps your arm, signaling for you to sit down at the kitchen table.
a faux laugh escapes you. “heh, well, you see-”
“don’t tell me that damn boss of yours ‘s been givin’ you a hard time again.” your pops speaks up this time, interrupting you this time. your pops was a scary man. he used to be involved in a lot of shit back in the day, constantly being chased down streets and alleyways by the police, always having them on his doorstep which would cause his mother to scold him. you can’t count the amount of times he’s threatened to come down and give your boss an earful on both hands.
“she actually fired me. apparently addressing one’s stupidity isn’t allowed. however, i am more focused on joel. joel, what is your purpose in this here house?” your head turns to look at the man as he addresses you, and he gives you a small smirk, walking over to the table and sitting across from you.
“she got a mouth on her, don’t she?” he asks your grandparents, and your nonna chuckles.
“always has. only started living with us when she was eighteen because of college, but she’s always had something to say.”
“something that’s gotta be shared with everyone.” your pops adds, and you give him a playful pout.
“right here guys, right here.” you announce. “back to the topic at hand. joel, why have you interrupted my pops’ burger night?” you’re facing each other now, your eyes analysing his face but all he does is smirk and since when was smirking so attractive on a man?
“well, your grandparents here mentioned how you hated your job, and i just so happen to have one that needs filled at one of my clubs.” his texan accent was prominent and full as he spoke, his brown eyes never leaving yours. “‘s if you want it, of course.”
“what club?”
“apocalypse.”
you slam your hands on the table with a wide grin. “i’m sold. when do i start?”
joel chuckles. “no questions about the pay, the shifts?”
you shake your head. “nope, don’t care. you know how hard that club is to get into?” you turn your head to look at your grandparents. “extremely fucking hard, i’ll tell you that right now. and i’ll get to work in there? god, life is so generous to me sometimes.” you exhale lightly, jokingly.
joel doesn’t stay for your pops’ burgers, but he’s given some to take home anyway. you decide to walk him to the door, being the ever so kind woman that you were, ready to see him off when he stops.
“ya’ start at five p.m. tomorrow, alright? i’ll have someone show you around, get you your uniform ‘nd all that before the club opens.”
nodding your head at joel, you bid him goodbye and watch as he makes his way to a sleek, black porsche, get in, and drive off.
____
“what do you mean you’re working for joel miller?” alicia asks you. alicia was the first friend you made at college after you chewed her ear off for the entirety of your first class. a girl who followed gothic fashion and was an absolute sweetheart compared to the people you’ve known in the past.
“i mean exactly what i said, babe. he’s apparently been looking after my grandparents for awhile and he offered me a job at apocalypse after that old bitch fired me.” you shrug, taking a bite of burger you got from dining hall.
“but joel miller is…he’s dangerous! everyone says his clubs are just money laundering schemes to hide his actual money.” naomi spoke up this time. ever the worrier, she was.
“money laundering would mean that no one was using his clubs and they were just there, naomi. the clubs are exclusive. i mean, we’ve all seen the lines to get in. we’ve been in those lines!” alicia somewhat comes to your defense even though you know she’s fully against you working there.
“my friend tina, the one from the political science class, worked there last year, and she says the pay is amazing!” a woman with black curls approaches your trio, another close friend of yours: georgia. “don’t get me wrong, she said some shady stuff happens in the v.i.p. lounge, but probably just guys gambling or something.”
you embrace georgia. “see, good pay and all i have to do is not ask questions. i’ll be fine, guys. and you,” you look at georgia “need to meet me at our cafe so you can tell me about that little masc lesbian of yours.”
you finish the rest of your burger, and pick up your bag. “gotta get home, but i’ll fill you all when i see you.”
you wave goodbye to your friends, walking out of the building as you scroll on your phone. when you get to the street, you bump into someone, about to apologise until you look up and gasp dramatically. “you! are you stalking me. god, joel, i didn’t know i was worth being stalked. that’s so flattering.”
joel scoffs, and opens the passenger door to his black porsche. “get in. ‘m gonna drive you down to the club.”
“don’t have to tell me twice.” you get into the passenger seat, placing your bag down in between your legs and joel closed your door. he rounds the front, getting in beside you and starts the car.
“ya’ hungry?” he asks, driving away from your college building.
“i ate just before i left. had a cheeseburger. not the most edible thing i’ve ever had, but it worked.”
“if you’re hungry when we get there, i’ll take ya’ down to the kitchen and grab you somethin’ there. house mom might have some snacks for ya’ too.”
brows furrowed, you turn to look at him. “the fuck is a house mom?”
“older woman who works with the dancers, takes care of ‘em in between dances. she’ll have snacks, spare outfits or shoes, hygiene products. helps ‘em all like a mom would.”
“nice.” you nod your head, and soon you’re in the private parking lot for the club. joel gets out first, rounding to your side and opening the door up for you. “gotta love a southern gentleman.” you snicker, walking into the club behind him.
he walks up a set of marbled stairs, heading to the second floor. “you’ll be working in the v.i.p. lounge, ‘s where all the dancers are and most of our staff.”
the second floor of the club is lit with red led lights, creating a sultry atmosphere. there are private rooms scattered all around, but there are booths scattered in the middle. joel walks you down to a hidden room and opens the door.
“this is my office. you can put your shit in here.” you walk in and place your bag down on the cushioned sofa, taking a seat beside your belongings. “i’m here when i’m not in the booths doing business, but if anything happens out there, ya’ come and find me, alright?”
you nod your head at him.
“all v.i.p’s know dancers and staff aren’t to be touched, but you gotta promise you’ll come find me if that rule is broken.” after promising, he continues. “i’ll take you down to adele and see if she’s got any spare uniform for you. she’ll walk you through anything else.”
joel guides you down the haul with a hand on your lower back, and if there was a camera following you, you would’ve hand an office moment with this simple touch.
“momma!” joel yells, knocking on a pink door.
the door opens, and an african-american woman opens it. she looks at joel, then you, and embraces you in a tight hug. “welcome, baby. this the new girl we’ve been hearing about?”
“yes ma’am!” you answer before joel can, shooting him a shit-eating grin.
joel speaks your name, and your eyes meet his. “go inside while i talk to adele, she’ll be back to help you in a minute.”
as you step inside the room, you’re met with an abundance of dancers. some are singing, doing their hair and make up, zipping up their heels, and others are lay on sat around eating some snacks.
“hi guys!” you wave at everyone, and they all squeal when they see you, immediately asking questions.
you answer them as best as you can until adele comes in. “now, i gotta get her some heels and her uniform, and when i come back-” adele glances around the room, pointing at an east asian woman with pin straight black hair. “lucy, do her make up, just so she knows what the standard is. your hair is fine, baby, don’t need anyone touching that.”
lucy smiles and waves at you, and you return it as adele leads you into the changing rooms. “uniforms are simple. black shorts, black long sleeve, and…what size shoe are you, baby?”
you respond, and she goes over to a rack of black, leather heeled boots. they’re platformed, shiny, and you know your feet are going to hurt the second your shift is done. “and these. i’ll let you get changed and you just come straight out when you’re done. help yourself to some snacks as well.”
“i don’t have to pay you for them?”
adele chuckles. “no, baby. joel gives me the money to buy the snacks. anything for you girls, joel pays for.” and with that, she leaves the room.
you sigh, looking at the mirror in front of you. this was a new job, with a hot boss, and from what you could tell, the rest of the girls in there were lovely.
this was your life now.
____
a/n: first chapter mother fuckers let’s GOOOOO
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unholyhelbig · 5 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/unholyhelbig/748001277238181888/ive-reread-the-entirety-of-oversight-again-and
i’ve done this as well. i think u should 😌😏😉☺️🥰
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Title: Rose Colored Glasses [An Oversight Oneshot]
Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff
Summary: Reader gets word that Natasha is hurt and rushes home to assess the situation.
Warnings(PLEASE READ): injury to nose & foot, slight blood, and shrimp
[a/n: Did someone request more oversight? Because I've got you covered. This is pure fluff, sorry for the lack of angst! It's short, and sweet, and not proof read because I don't have time :( ]
Check out the full Oversight universe
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven
A quiet house was never a good sign. Growing up in the foster care system teeming with other wards of the state had taught you that. Often, you were three or four to a room. There were bunk beds with sheets slotted against the ceiling or stuffed under the mattress above your own, just for some type of barrier. It was an illusion of privacy, most of the time. Because houses like that were never quiet.
When you’d moved in across from Darcy after your 18th birthday, things weren’t quiet. Above you was a Latin-American couple that would wait until just past midnight to turn on a slow, rhythmic song and dance. Their steps were soft, and calculated. They carved out time for one another every single night between shifts. Just for the two of them. You often let the thumping base lull you to sleep.
The city was just outside your window. In the summer, you could prop it open with a brick and let the sounds of cars become a backdrop. There were sirens, and when the fire hydrant on the corner was loosened, the world welcomed a cold blast of water, sprinkling into the street. That was the opposite of quiet. That made your chest feel light, and warm.
After marrying Natasha Romanoff, you settled into the loudness of her home. Your home. Veronica was constantly running around the twists and turns of the bottom floor, Clint or Kate or Darcy galloping after her with a big smile on their face. They slowed themselves to make sure they didn’t break anything, but they wanted her to win, too.
Yelena often came with the muffled sounds of Russian techno bands coming from the headphones around her neck. It was a staple to find her in the kitchen with her head down, slicing into an apple from the backyard with precision unknown. Natasha would tug the headphones off to get her attention, or to send her into annoyance.
The night that Natasha got hurt was stifled with the sound of rain. It had soaked you to the bone, dripping onto the linoleum floor and then the carpet as you ascended the stairs two at a time. You’d been at the docks later than usual, the storm that had plagued the side of the harbor was relentless and delayed shipments.
The captain of the shipping boat your family had utilized for decades wanted to discuss something over whatever crap coffee you could beat out of the machine in your office. He spoke with a thick southern drawl, his mustache was encrusted with salt and sand. You had shed your coat and tried to warm yourself up by hugging your mug to your chest. Nothing seemed to work.
While you weren’t opposed to giving the man a raise, you were not the final say. Natasha was, and you figured he could use the company more than anything. The captain flicked through books that were on the shelf, taking two or three for his next journey out to sea. It was like clockwork with him, and you indulged his need for quiet companionship each time.
When your phone rang, you never looked at the caller ID. Those who were privileged enough to get your number knew to talk without any of the pleasantries that they were used to. Clint’s voice came through the receiver in a smooth, hushed tone that made you believe he wasn’t supposed to be calling you in the first place.
“Look, y/n, there’s been an… incident.”
“What kind of incident?”
He was meant to escort her to one of the many cocktail parties that Carlos LaMuerto was throwing at his mansion that bordered the same body of water that you resided on now. They were lovely get-togethers that you often attended with your wife. This, however, was the fourth one this month and your stomach was turning at the idea of another cocktail shrimp and lamb pate.
Clint had offered, seeing the desperation in your eyes. And while Natasha was reluctant, she ultimately agreed. No news of a bust had reached you yet, nor had a gun blazing argument. While the Captain licked his dry lips and scanned the books in front of him, you continued in hushed tones.
“Nat’s hurt. It’s not a big deal, you can finish up your business. She’s just being stubborn is all.”
An escaped sigh “I’ll be there.”
No shit, she was being stubborn. Your wife was bull-headed and wouldn’t admit to the smallest defeat. It eased your nerves slightly, and only slightly, that Clint said it wasn’t a big deal. No gunshot to the back, or knife to the throat. It wasn’t good enough, however.
Natasha would be upset that you tracked mud into the house and left your boots sloshing by the door. You were panting by the time you reached the double doors that led to your bedroom. They were, of course, blocked by Clint and Kate. Yelena was leaning lazily against the railing that was parallel. She regarded you with an uninterested stare.
“You did not have to come here.” She said, “We’ve got it handled.”
“She kicked all of you out, didn’t she?”
“What? She certainly did not!”
Yelena’s voice pitched with her lie. Kate’s cheeks turned an off-shade of pink and Clint just rthe hallway, that was a good sign. Still, neither of the two moved to let you into your own room.
“If you’re not going to get out of the way, can you at least tell me what happened?”
There was a muffled reply from behind the door. With the way that the voice flitted, you knew that she was trapped on the bed. Otherwise, she would have leveled you with a glare right here and now. The words were simple “Do it, you die.”
“Oh, come on,” You whispered harshly, turning your attention to Kate instead. She was the easiest to break. “Katie, what is the harm in letting me through? I’m going to catch my death if I stay in these clothes.”
“Catch your death?” Clint scoffed “What are you? A poet from the 1800’s?”
“I’m about to be breaking your fingers if you don’t-“
“You can’t even break wind,”
The two of your voices combined as you kept at it. You didn’t’ miss the wary look that Kate shot Yelena. One way or another, you’d get into your room. You refused to be banished to the couch again, especially in wet clothes. If you had to threaten ruining the rugs with your muddy footprints, so be it.
“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You held up both of your hands, silencing the chaos of the corridor. “Nat, you are my wife, you’re hurt. Whether you like it or not, I’m coming in. Does anyone have any objections?”
Kate went to raise her hand, but Yelena yanked it back down and shook her head no. You tore into Clint with a look that could drop him dead. He relented and stepped away from the door. While you had a moment of peace, you walked into the dark of the room. She’d turned out the lights, save for the half-moon that showed a pale pattern against the carpet.
When you reached for the light switch on the wall, Natasha let out a noise that was similar to a wounded animal. You halted, your actions and made out her form on the bed. She was folded in on herself, her silhouette rigid.
“Baby,” you cooed, closing the distance between you and the bed. She grunted again, this time in pain. She attempted to turn away from you. You lowered yourself onto the sliver of bed, approaching the situation softly. “Can I turn on a light?”
“No, I’m hideous.”
You chuckled softly “I highly doubt that, my love. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Natasha had never liked being vulnerable around you. It had taken a full weekend of you nursing her back to her feet after the incident on the pier for her to let herself cry. You held her for hours, her nose pressed against the small of your neck. She’d gripped onto you, as if you’d leave. But you never would.
Eventually, you saw her shadow nod. Before she could change her mind, you flicked on the lamp on the side table. It didn’t’ have a far reach, but the light was less harsh on the both of you. It was impossible not to notice the blood that had dried against Natasha’s nose, a split right down the middle.
You’d seen her with broken bones before, bruises that wrapped around her midsection. You’d put ace bandage around her ribs after drawing her a bath. This was nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, she often saw them as battle scars that would heal in a pink gash.
Her foot was wrapped up with a bag of peas and one of frozen carrots that Clint, or even Yelena had situated. There was bruising around her ankle, it looked painful and you internally winced at the coloring. She groaned into the small of her elbow.
“I want to die”
“Natty, it’s okay. This is nothing a cozy weekend inside can’t fix.”
She said something that was quiet and muffled by her arm. You didn’t understand her one bit, but she squeezed a single tear from her eye that you wiped away dutifully before it could reach the silk of sheets.
“What was that, baby?” You asked gently.
She threw both of her hands down and glared at the ceiling. Her fingers eventually found yours, squeezing your palm in reflex. Her words came out in a quick breath, “I tripped over a carpet at the stupid dinner party and hit my face on the catering table.”
You were effectively silenced. That was very un-Natasha. But lately, you and Clint had been pestering her about her eyesight, especially at night. It wasn’t something she wanted to hear. In fact, each time you brought up the idea of glasses, she would effectively silence you with a glare, or even a kick to the shin under the kitchen table if you had company.
You bit the inside of your cheek and ran your thumb over her hand. She clutched your hand tighter. Now was certainly not the time to laugh, and while you fought back the initial giggle, you were more concerned about your wife.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“I bet you got right back up.” You said, pressing your palm against her cheek. “None of those fancy party types would dare question your influence on this city.”
“Shrimp went flying everywhere.” Natasha pouted.
“Everyone was tired of shrimp anyway, even the shrimp.”
She grasped at the collar of your jacket and pulled you closer to her, pressing her lips against your own. They were warm, the warmest thing that you’ve felt since getting caught in the passing storm. You were careful not to lean on her ribs, breathing in the rosewater scent of her.
Natasha pressed her forehead against yours, running a hand up your spine. She grimaced. “You’re all wet.”
“Well now I am,” You smirked against her jawline, leaving a little nip in your wake. “You need to get glasses.”
“Don’t change the subject. You’re getting the sheets all damp, and you smell like fish.”
“I smell like fish?” You giggled, pressing a kiss to the exposed part of her neck. You felt Natasha laugh too, using her hands to cover her face from the blush that was blooming against her cheeks. “We’re talking about me?”
She laughed harder, attempting to shove you off but you let your body go slack against her, not using your arms to hold yourself up anymore. “Yes! Go shower!”
“Mm, but you’re so warm.”
“You’re not going to be warm if I make you sleep on the couch.”
You gasped dramatically, pulling your head off her stomach and meeting her dark green stare. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me. After the day I’ve had, I refuse to sleep next to my wife when she smells like a marina.”
Even while she said it, her voice was gentle, her fingers working over your scalp to brush the wet hair from your eyes. You pulled yourself up to give her another peck on the lips, careful to avoid the split nose and busted ankle.
“Fine, but only because you need more aspirin.”
She grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Can’t believe I let you through my defenses.”
“Uh-huh. Get some rest. I’m going to go talk to your defenses about getting you an appointment with an optometrist.”
You turned to move towards the bathroom, already craving the warmth of a shower and some clean pajamas. Two steps from the doorway and you felt a plush throw pillow hit you directly on the back of the head. Natasha had amazing aim, always had, and always would.
You bent down and picked up the gold upholstered pillow, giving her a faux glare. “You’re not getting this back.”
“Oh, come on, baby.” She stuck out her lower lip “I have to prop up my foot.”
“You should have thought of that before you launched it at my head.”
 [Taglist🕷♡: @dumbasslesbi, @lostremind, @toouncreativeforausername @autorasexy @eringranola @mikookaaaaaao @marvelwoman-simp @pacmanmiles @mostlymarvelsstuff, @mrsrushman, @milfsandtittyenthusiast, @random-raccoon4, @ravenromanova, @mysticalmoonlight7, @ahintofchaos@cowboyboots236 @lissaaaa145, @natsxwife@a-spes, @kyleeservopoulos]
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from-izzy · 5 months
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[01:34] | nct na jaemin
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Your ceiling fell.
pairing » nct na jaemin x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)​
trope/au » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au!
genre » boyfriend na jaemin who picks you up even though he's tired, summer is annoying to the reader (sorry, i'm really hating summer rn), fluffy fluff with a tinge of angst, clothes stealer reader!, but you never end up using it because you got too tired and fell asleep, i love na jaemin (can you tell?), reader is the little spoon, jaemin is so caring and cute (i'm in love with him), jaemin brushing his hand through your hair
word count, estimated reading time » 2496, ~9 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » jaemin is taller, outside clothes on the bed (i don't do this but it's cute here 😭 forgive me), oh...it's not proofread 😭
navi/masterlist!! 🤍
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recently went back to my wips and found bits and pieces that could work together and meshed them together as best as i can 🤣 just whipped up this little thing whilst i was at it hehe
also, not going to be specific but will you believe if i said that this is based on a (my) true story? 🤠 it's been...messy 🤠 to say the least.
thank you for proofreading (when you're supposed to be focusing on school) @cupidjyu !! 💕
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Your ceiling fell.
Well...
To be exact, there isn't a hole that lets the spiders and birds able to look down and see the base of your kitchen sink but when the inside surface of the roof fell, so did the insulator that kept the house warm during the frosty winter, and cool in the scorching summer. Because of the unstable roof condition, your whole family was wary of putting the air conditioning system on. The vibration from the machine and the sound waves themselves may be the little push it needs to send other parts of the roof crumbling.
You hate the hot weather so much.
In this period of the summer, when opening the windows was barely an option as it also let the heat through, it has been hard even to do anything remotely productive. With every move of your body, it generates heat and energy, which when mixed with the thirty-five-degree heat, all you want to do is lay on your bed and let the sweat evaporate off your skin with the help of your tower fan. That's how the mornings would go. Sometimes when you're not too tired from the previous day's work, you would go and take shelter in the library, turning confused heads when you would be wearing a jacket as overtime, it became too cold. 
The worst thing is that there has been no word from the insurance company or the people who could help to fix the hole in your ceiling. Unfortunately, it did fall during the peak holiday season but at this point, when it’s no longer the festive season, no one in your family understands what’s going on with the back-and-forth messy conversations to fix the issue. 
The past three months have been full of frustrating calls to your boyfriend but Jaemin has been picking up your phone call at the second time his ringtone rings, greeting you with that emphasising smile of his as he sees the layer of moisture on your face. At first, you tried to give him the best smile you could, but you eventually broke down after the first month, completely done with changing your clothes every day in every hour. Jaemin, though busy with his own responsibilities, never fails to take you out whenever he can, accompanying you in your aimless night time walks or accompanying you to the library where he would start reading a random book while you snooze on his shoulder. 
Today is one of the nights where you can’t handle sleeping in the house, too hot and uncomfortable for your eyes to even think about closing. You guiltily text Jaemin, asking if he’s able to have you over and within a few minutes, the black-haired arrives at your house, air conditioner blasting in his car and a genuine smile greeting you as soon as you step in. He waits outside his car with his oversized shirt and short pants; his usual summer attire. He kisses your frown away as soon as you rush into his arms, dropping your bag of clothes to the floor. His affectionate gaze for you grows, cupping your cheeks in his hands to hush you from the apologies that you would say for going out so late at night even though you insisted that the five-minute walk was fine to do.
“No,” Jaemin juts his lower lip to you adorably. “Not letting you do that!” He presses another quick peck on your lips that makes your cheeks heat up and makes you a stuttering mess. “I’m hungry! Let’s go grab some food first!”
You let out a knowing chuckle, shaking your head at him fondly as you know that just means another movie night that will go on until five am. To Jaemin, this is the best kind of date: the one that is unplanned but is planned at the same time. With the way that you’re literally having the worst summer ever as well, all he wants to do is to make sure that at least when you look back on this summer, you will remember his air conditioner blasting in his room. Bonus, the later you sleep, the more time you’ll have in a cooled, comfortable and private environment. 
But you know deep down, that you will always remember his warm, kind heart first out of all. 
With hands full of takeout from the nearest fast food to his house, Jaemin talks you through his list of movies that he wants to check out before you both fall asleep. He was so excited that he nearly missed the step up to his room, almost waking up the whole house with how his body would tumble down the staircase otherwise. But oh how much he would if it meant that you wouldn’t be crying on the humid, summer night.
"It's perfect, Jaem." 
You comment when Jaemin asks you about the temperature of his room and he gives you a relieved look, smiling in satisfaction to know your thoughts. Jaemin starts to unload the snacks in his arm on his study table, prompting you to do the same. He turns his sleeping laptop on, waiting for his device to start up.
In the meantime, his attention falls on you once more. "You must've been overwhelmed." His arm spreads open, silently asking if you would accept his gesture.
All you gave was a quiet hum and it momentarily worries him before you step to bury your head into his broad chest. You sigh into his perfect body temperature that balances the coolness trapped in the four walls. The corners of Jaemin’s lips rise as he starts shifting his body side to side, giving the hug a little more dynamic and comfort as he starts to sing your favourite tune to your ears. His fingers rake across your hair, not minding the whines and complaints you gave about how your hair is disgusting and oily, even pressing a kiss to your scalp to ease your worries. 
Your arms start to find home around his waist and your palm grips the fabric of the shirt even more, feeling eternally thankful for having a loving person in your life. A mutter, “Thank you for all this.” Your voice trails off, eyelids heavy and honestly, quiet snores could leave your lips at any moment now. 
“Always, bubs,” he muses back. “Maybe we can skip the movie night today?” 
The suggestion pulls your lips into a sour smile but you can’t hide the drowsiness in your system after getting small hours of sleep for the past week. “We have food.” But truly, it’s nothing that food can’t fix.
A raised eyebrow meets you when you slightly pull back to see the reaction on Jaemin’s face. “Food and horror movies.”
The shared favourite genre makes you break out into a genuine smile, excited for the movie marathon cuddled up in his bedsheets and the smell of food as you both expose yourself to the light from the computer until the sun replaces the moon. Jaemin watches you excitedly walk back to the door of his room where your bag slumps over on the wall next to the frame. 
“You don’t want to wear mine?” The suggestion is said with a smirk from him and your hands stopping to unzip your bag halfway. “Guess not!”
“No! I do!” You drag the last syllable out and when you turn to face him once more, Jaemin only lets out a teasing smile. “Let me steal!”
Indeed, Jaemin already has everything prepared for you, tilting his chin to his bed where some of his and your favourite hoodies are spread across the duvet. You spot the emerald green one, immediately jumping from your kneeling position on the floor and making the neat pile topple over at your eagerness. 
Jaemin feigns fake offence and an exaggerated gasp, “All my hard work!” He weeps to which you just roll your eyes as a response, continuing to take out your shower and night necessities to prepare for the night. 
“Alright.” A heavy sigh follows after, “I’m going to sho—”
But before you could take another step towards the bathroom, a pair of arms pulls you backwards, your back colliding with a chest that you know all too well. You can’t see the expression on his face but another thing that you know about Jaemin is when he leans down to press his cheek on yours, humming once more into your embrace, his cheeks are painted with hues of red and pink—his love for you overflowing from the simple back hug gesture.
“What you doing, Nana?” It deepens his blush, melting with how the nickname naturally sounds lovelier coming from you.
“Just go brush your teeth and shower in the morning.” He mumbles against your cheek. “I want to go on this movie marathon with you right now.”
“But you hate it the most when someone lays on your bed without washing up.” 
That’s also true. He does hate that a lot. 
The idea of outside germs reaching the place where he would be closing his eyes and be in another space for hours never fails to bring a scowl to his face and he always makes sure everyone who visits his space is aware of that fact.
But it’s you—and Jaemin loves you more to overlook that fact for a day.
“I’m planning on changing the sheets anyway.” He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, “Plus, I literally get grease and pieces of chocolate on there anyways so I think I may need to change my mindset about that rule now…”
The mention of the substances makes you gasp, a similar one to the one he directed at you before. “Na Jaemin!” The playful slap on his arm only makes his hold against your body tighter, sending you both into a fit of laughter.
Amid the chaos you created, Jaemin makes his point clear with the previous topic, throwing himself still clad in his dirty clothes onto his bed and taking you down with him. You yelp at the sudden fall, throwing everything out of your hands to muffle the sound of your mouth, aware of the sleeping couple not too far away from this room. 
“Oops! Gotta change it tomorrow, I guess!”
“Na Jaemin, stop! I’m still going to shower anyway!”
So begins the shoving and wiggling for you to escape his strong grip on his bulky arms. You know shortly after running out of breath that it’s a better choice to rest your head on his pectoral, giving up on both the shower and possibly the movie night. The laughter dies down, but never the love that Jaemin shows for you. On the back of your head, you can feel his thumping heartbeat, the rhythm making your eyelids fall naturally.
Jaemin carefully slides you over to the mattress on his side, turning his body to face the girl he loves the most in this world. His eyelashes flutter quietly, quieter than the humming of the white rectangular machine stuck high onto his wall. He doesn’t bother waking you up, content with the tiny snores you let out through the small gap between your lips.
“And to think you were scolding me minutes ago.” Bopping your ice-cold nose with the pad of his pointer finger. “Okay, at this point you’re going to freeze.”
Though exhausted and body screaming to just fall asleep then and there, Jaemin pulls himself back to the edge of the bed, standing and stretching his four limbs. He quickly retreated to the connecting bathroom, picking up your discarded items that he made you toss to avoid his parents from waking up and scolding the young couple in love—though he knows they will just scold him given how much his parents adore everything about you.
Scared that you would soon wake up in the very uncomfortable posture that you have right now, more than half your feet dangling off the bed, Jaemin swiftly completes his night routine, skipping the one that would make his dentist question his habits but he pushed the thought aside for now. As quiet as he could, he makes his way over to your still peaceful figure. His knees sink into the bed, eyes observing you while he holds his breath to avoid any more unnecessary movements than the ones he’s making right now.
An arm lifts your upper body, and Jaemin quickly jumps behind you. You did stir a bit in your sleep when Jaemin undoes the noisy metal zipper of your jacket but nonetheless, he succeeded without bringing you back into full consciousness. In his head, he imagines himself doing a little celebratory dance under the shining disco ball, all the fluorescent light on him on the dance floor. Then, the same arm is placed on your upper back once more but now paired with his other arm tucked under the back of your knees. You quickly adjusted to the position, Jaemin raising your body high enough for you to relish in the remnants of his cologne on the crook of his neck. 
“I love you, Nana.” You confess to him earnestly. “I love you so much…”
Jaemin stands on one side of the bed, scanning the curves of your face intently as if he has never noticed the small mole on the slope of your nose. He couldn’t fight off the want to steal another kiss from you, bending his neck down to slot his soft ones to hug your plump ones. A satisfied hum is brought out after, Jaemin mirroring your content heart with another lingering press on your forehead.
Soon enough, your body is finally between his bouncy mattress and his weighted polyester. Immediately, your hands roam over to the other side of the bed where Jaemin would usually be, groaning when all you felt was the crinkles of the cotton that is not his shirt.
“Okay, okay. I’m here.” He assures the dissatisfaction painted on your face first by flicking the light switch off and then by wrapping your smaller frame into his own. 
The muscles of your whole body relax for the first time in a while at the thought of going to dreamland—maybe it’s the Jaemin effect. A hand makes its way to the curve of your head, fingertips half-buried into your strands. A slight gush of wind can be felt on your nose but you don’t mind the proximity, even continuing to scoot even closer, pleased with the hand on your lower back that pushes you in closer. 
“Sleep tight.” His eyes landed on the brown bag across the room and his muted laptop that plays your favourite comfort movie. He lets the movie play, strategically moving his forearm to block the blue light emitted. When he confirms that his shadow falls upon your lids, he places the lightest kiss as a final ‘goodnight’. “I love you.”
So maybe, you don’t hate the hot weather as much as you thought.
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navi/masterlist!! 🤍 tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o
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milkypompon · 9 months
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The Blind Bet
pairing: Miguel x reader | Inspired by The Bet by guardianangelcas
summary: “One month, you and me. No sex, no touching yourself, no orgasms.” Miguel grins as if he’d already won the bet.
content: Miguel knows exactly how to wind you up and break you down... teasing, enemies to lovers, semi-public touching, fingering, sextape, recording, masturbating... he's watching hehe
wc: 4.5k
How?
How in the hell was it possible that the chances of avoiding this situation were slim to none in the vast multiverse? Annoyingly called the Archno-Humanoid-Poly-Multiverse by the very same man who roped you into a challenge that deprived you of the only good thing after coming back from a grueling mission. 
Gone were the nights of unzipping your Spidersuit to toss it into the hamper before taking a hot shower leaving your skin raw and vulnerable. Then hastily patting yourself dry with a towel that was soon to be repurposed as a rag for under your thighs — in an attempt to catch your or chosen companion’s cum before it seeped into the mattress.
Looking back, Miguel fucking O’Hara crafted his words to reel you in. Hook, line, and sinker. 
One month ago.
“I know you’ve been using the interdimensional gizmo at night to visit your… friends.” Per usual, he was nonchalant, scrolling through anomalies on his platform, now touching the ground (a habit you noted when you were in the office with him). As if he didn’t reveal that he’d been tracking your movement with Lyla’s help, who was just as eager to know what you were up to the late hours when any other normal person would be awake. 
But that was the problem in itself, you weren’t human and neither was Miguel. The stupid machine by Alchemax was to blame. Not only the incident result in both of you needing a bump of Rapture daily but it also required a quick fuck to satiate the burning feeling teetering between pain and desire at the pit of the stomach. 
You didn’t reply for a few beats, which was a mistake because the dead air was suffocating. There was no sound other than the occasional beeps from the monitors and dashboard. Even with your heightened senses, Miguel’s breathing was quiet. If his back weren’t turned to you with his shoulders slightly lifting up and down, you would think he was breathing at all. 
“Don’t you have better shit to do than checking my coordinates, O’Hara?” You steal your voice into some semblance of superiority but fail terribly at gaining control over the conversation. 
It was a constant push and pull between you two. Who would tap out first? Who would shoot the first web? Who would sink their teeth in first? Figuratively, you suppose, but also literally because your canines are starting to itch beneath your gums, threatening to unsheathe themselves into fangs. 
“That watch is company property. A company that I happen to own. Therefore, I have the right to know where it is.” Miguel releases an unamused laugh. “I’m not using it to stalk you, you narcissist.”
“Says the one who replaced his dead alternate so he could fuck his wife—” 
Miguel grimaces at your comment before cutting you off, “And it happened to be in a particular universe that wasn’t yours. Care to explain? Or maybe you can just simply confirm my suspicions with a simple yes or no because you don’t seem to be articulate with your words… according to last night.”
Oh.
You forgot to turn off your watch after your debriefing with Miguel. And he heard everything. You had half a mind to tug his shoulder and turn him around just to punch the smirk off of him that you knew was contorting his face. So, you did, or close to at least until he caught your fist and encapsulated it with his own.
“Play nice, nena” Miguel mutters under a slight tug of his mouth. 
The bastard found it amusing, listening to the sounds you made while you were pushed down into the mattress with a man who knew how to use his dick. Or at least good enough to help you sink deep into a dreamless sleep after a day of beating anomalies into a pulp and tossing it through the swirling vortex. 
But you did dream that night, so maybe the nameless man wasn’t as good at maneuvering himself inside of you as you thought. Your mouth went dry as you recollected vivid events in the dream. Of course, it was about your boss. 
You shake your head to ground yourself. “You fucking recorded it! I bet you sat your ass down on your chair and jacked off to me moaning. You disgusting—” 
“The gizmo records everything so I can playback the content to observe the…” Miguel grimaced when he realized he was making the situation worse. “That’s beside the point. I deleted it already.” 
You step back, letting your arms fall to your side but you still keep your hands balled up — the only way to stop yourself from engaging your talons. 
Miguel looks at you with a blank stare, almost bothered. “Did you really think I would’ve saved the video?” 
You scoff, “I wouldn’t put it past you.” You didn’t mean it of course, but something fiery licked at your throat to demolish him in a battle of wit and snarky comebacks. 
Although the man didn’t have a running streak of good morals considering his long-standing chase with the 15-year-old boy who wanted to save his father, Miguel drew the line there – somewhere between not breaking canon and the depravity of voyeurism through a sextape.  
He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Whatever, just don’t let it happen again.” 
Again?
That means Miguel has thought about the chances of this situation reoccurring with your head against your pillow, eye-rolling back, muttering incoherent chatter of pleasure, recorded on his company property gizmo. An open welcome for him to display it on his various monitors, big or small, the video would be the same, you split open by a lucky bastard that wasn’t him.  
You wet your lips, feeling his eyes drift down to the pink tip of your tongue. He wants your mind twisting to read between the lines, treating you the way he draws information out of anomalies wreaking havoc. Little do they know Miguel plays just as dirty, creeping into their heads. 
You grimace, “Stop.”
“Stop what?” Miguel hides a chuckle under the guise of clearing his throat. He saunters over to his work chair, leveled closer to the ground more than usual, and makes himself comfortable. 
Any other person would’ve relished the idea of gleaning over his broad figure, but it was a false sense of dominance on your end. He knew it and so did you. You have to give it to him because it would be working if you didn’t know him so damn well.
If you weren’t warming up beneath your Spidersuit, you would’ve been insulted by his attempt to reel you in… 
Into what exactly? 
“That!” You shoot your arms toward him and almost whine. “This is your second time trying to set me up and make myself look like an idiot!”
“Oh, so you’ve been keeping track?” Now there was a full-blown grin on Miguel’s face. “Just like how you keep mental tick marks of how many people you’ve had sex with this week?” 
At this point, you weren’t entirely sure what you felt, but it was between a fever and a cold sweat. Your cheeks burned with color or were devoid of it with the way he said ‘sex’ to you or even asked the question – as if he wanted to know what you had for breakfast this morning before the debriefing took place.
Miguel was no holy virgin either, so he wasn’t one to talk. He was a ravenous lover, not in the sense of intimacy, but in carnal desire. There was not much to blame other than how his DNA was altered to contain spider genes, hence creating the need to let off some steam with anyone who could bear his child. 
But he had morals and an even amount of self-restraint. He wasn’t about to hop into a dimension with brothels to fulfill his needs. No matter how glaring or bothersome it was to feel his hard-on against his suit.
Instead, Miguel had a ‘roster’, as Peter B. liked to call it. It was a list of Spiderpeople he rotated throughout the week. The arrangement was a simple act of mutualism. He could rely on them to simulate the chosen partner being filled with his seed, while he helped them get their rocks off for the night. 
You had a similar routine, Miguel observed, considering that you had the same canon event as him. Not to mention, you happen to log off from the watch on the dot.
Except for last night, when you’d left it on.
 “You’re one to talk, O’Hara.” You dig your heels into the ground, watching his brows sit above his dark eyes. “Swinging your ass around Nueva York as if you haven’t fucked at least a quarter of the women in this compound.”
“So, you do keep count. Not of your escapades but of mine.” Miguel leans back into the chair. 
“Mm, right because everything is about you,” You snarl and take a stride between his thighs.
“Fine, then let’s make it about you. You can’t control yourself if your life depended on it,” He says in a low voice, a timbre that makes shivers run down your spine.
Poets, or in your case, blind idiots, say that the third time’s the charm. And although this was his third time trying the make you an idiot, there was nothing particularly charming about it. 
He knows you wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity to one-up him in a challenge. It didn’t matter if it was about who could wrap up an anomaly case the fastest or in indirect ways of seeing which new batch of Spiderpeople under your or his supervision would improve the quickest, it never got to the point of this. 
It was an act of chalking up your sex life to simply win another challenge and gain bragging rights.
The better, more mature part of you should walk away from the situation, but there’s a seedling of a dark fantasy that was determined to see if Miguel would play along. 
Maybe it wasn’t even about winning anymore, but you’d rather choke on your own tongue than admit that. To see him breathe when you breathe was palatable enough. 
“One month, you and me. No sex, no touching yourself, no orgasms.” Miguel grins as if he’d already won the bet.
Present Day
In the canteen, You grip the tray housing your lunch, a blue Spiderman 2099 burger with a side of fries shaped like webs. The mindless chatter of your coworkers was comforting until there was one whose presence stood out the most. So much so that the figure garbed with a pink, fluffy robe and baby carrier snatched your peripherals.
“Heyyy!” Peter B. drawled and lightly bounced the furious curls of red attached to his chest.
“Pretty patty,” Mayday giggled and pointed to the burger.
“Little Red’s been watching Spongebob.” He grins and settles onto the seat across from you, careful of sitting too close for Mayday’s chubby hand reaching over for a fry. “Speaking of which–”
You bring a finger up to your lips, successfully shutting him up. After years of working under the Spider Society, you made sure there was a carved-out section of your schedule to discuss missions. At the canteen with a hot meal in hand wasn’t the time and place.  
“You’re just like him. When there’s food around, the rest of the world disappears.” Peter plucked the fry from Mayday’s hand. “Big no, no. Mama won’t be happy if you eat greasy num nums. 
He proceeds to pop the greasy num num into his mouth and you roll your eyes with a small smile.
“Wonder how ya don’t get along with him, kid. Miguel, I mean. Almost clawed my face off when I went into his office while he was eating empanadas,” He remarks.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Anyway, why are you here? Haven’t seen you in the canteen since you’ve been eating lunch with MJ and Little Red back in your universe,” You note.
“Right, right. About that.” Peter takes a pregnant pause. It was just enough time to pick up what he was about to ask.
You groan in frustration. “I am not gonna switch shifts with you again. You always manage to set up your dates with MJ when you have the worse missions.”
Peter pouts. The grown man has the audacity to pout. But, you can’t help but sigh and slowly nod because it reminds you of when Mayday motions towards your webslingers, hoping to persuade you. 
“Fine, but I’m doing it for Red.”
He snaps his fingers. “I owe you one, kiddo.”
A gruff voice that’s all too familiar calls out to him, “Peter–” 
He fidgets with the straps of the baby carrier before standing up. The sound of the metal screeching against the floor makes you wince. Somehow, he sidesteps Miguel and grins at him.
“Don’t miss me too much, O’Hara. Got a date night with the wife, but you’re in good hands tonight.”
And just like that, Peter pats Mayday’s head and steps through the portal without another word. You and Miguel stand there without a sound while watching the rip through the multiverse sew itself shut.
You shift your weight from foot to foot and decide to break the silence. “Does Peter know?”
Miguel shakes his head. “‘Bout the bet? Of course not, keeping this stupid thing between us to my grave.”
“One that you made by the way.”
“Thanks for the reminder,” He mutters. Miguel hates how quickly you snap back into place to shove a knife deep in his gut to get a reaction out of him. It’s a habit, practically second nature now. 
He rakes his eyes over your face as if etching every single slant and angle to his mind. A few flecks of salt from the fries were sprinkled along the curve of your lips. He wonders how it’d taste if he licked it before dipping his tongue into your mouth, licking the sweet saliva pooling there, waiting for him. 
Or how it’d seep out as he guides his cock into your mouth. He almost groans at the thought.
Lyla materializes his watch and bounces to your shoulder. “Hey, pretty lady! I saw Peter swap his name for yours for tonight.”
You steal Miguel’s words. “Thanks for the reminder.”
He turns his back to you and throws his head over with a nod. “C’mon, back to my office. I need to fill you in about the anomaly.”
You trudge behind him because walking beside him seems too intimate and leading the way would show the slight tremble of your legs. Besides, opting to fall a few feet after him gives you a good view of his ass. Not that you were looking.
Lyla imitates your strides despite floating above the ground. “Whatcha thinking about, babes?”
You run a hand over your face to cover the flush. “Thinking about how to catch the anomaly.”
She giggles in a foxy tone. “I haven’t said anything about the mission.”
“Oh, right–” 
You’re met with a firm back pressed onto your chest.
Miguel juts his chin over to the display monitors. “Take my seat. I’m gonna need some coffee for this job. You?” 
With a silent laugh, you shake your head at his offer. Working with him for, god knows how long, introduced you to his quirks. One of them is how he takes his coffee. It was a deep black that light barely penetrated. On rare occasions it did, you could his constant frown reflected on it.
Miguel O’Hara was as bitter as his coffee. Go figure. 
You slide into the chair, surprised by how comfortable the cushion is. It was probably engineered to keep his ass snug for hours on end as he monitored the universe to make sure it didn’t collapse, or something along those lines.
A few feet behind you, he waved his hand. “Lyla, the explainyinfo thing.”
Her heart-shaped glasses are perched on the bridge of her nose. “Gotcha, bossman.” 
In front of you are displays of Adriano Tummino, better known as the Vulture from the Renaissance era. He nested inside an abandoned warehouse, trying to make sense of the world that was no longer dipped in sepia and scribbles of ink.
“Don’t know how he managed to get out the first time.” Miguel sips his so-called coffee. Should’ve just chewed on the beans, you thought. 
“Crafty man,” You quip, earning you a short puff of air from his nostrils.
He grabs the back of the chair and swivels it for you to face him. You pressed yourself against it, trying to take up as little room as possible, but he was close. Your legs fall limp on either side of his thighs as he leans down to your height.
Deja vu hits you, then replaced by swirling vertigo. 
You and Miguel were in this exact position a month ago albeit in reverse. 
“That crafty man needs our undivided attention during the stakeout. Prepare yourself however you need to.” His warm breath, stained with the scent of coffee, caressing your lips.
A few beeps and flashes of light bounce off from his watch. It catches your eye as your name pops up above arcs of lines that rose.
“Careful, nena. Your heart rates spiking.” Miguel’s fangs poked out from the edge of his lip, giving you a small smile. Your neck itched at the thought of feeling it sink down into your jugular before he lapped up at the twin holes. 
To make sure neither of you cheated on the bet, you suggested giving both ends of the party access to each other’s heart rate monitors on the watch. Because of his snarky remark, which could’ve been a serious suggestion now in hindsight, about setting up a camera feature. It made you scoff… and turned on.
“Breathe in and out slowly. Even out your heartbeat.” Miguel warned.
There was nothing more you wanted to grab the back of his neck and shove his face into your pussy. That’ll shut him up.
And get you off.
You reach the tip of your toes onto the ground and give it a hard push, sending you rolling back a good few inches. The short distance was still suffocating, but it was enough to let you press your thighs together – the seams of your Spidersuit rubbed against your clit, sending small pulses throughout your body.
But stopping before his watch indicated another spike in your pulse. You’re aware of his eyes on you until he rips it off.  
Miguel straightens himself up before the Spiderman mask wraps around his face. He tried to hide the grin under it but the amusement slipped through. 
Alerts resounded on his gizmo. For a good second, you thought it was about you. That alone would’ve sent you into cardiac arrest. But it was simply a detection of the Vulture’s universe. 
He was on Earth-616B. 
Peter B.’s universe.
Funny.
You fiddle with your gizmo, a bright shower of neons bounced off of you as the portal opened up. Adrenaline coursed through your veins. It wasn’t ideal to have jitters when the mission was to birdwatch the Vulture next to the man you were deprived of. 
Miguel headed in first with you in tow. The sun was about set over the building both of you were perched on. He couldn’t help but think about how Peter ditched him to go on a date with MJ on a night like this.
“There,” You snapped him out of his thoughts. Below you was a crumbling building surrounded with shards of glass from the shattered windows. It was easy to keep an eye on the Vulture while he wrote chicken scratches on the floor – plans of creating primitive technology. 
He grabbed your wrist and tugged you down next to him. With a finger to his lips, he indicated to you to keep quiet.
You whisper-shouted, “I’m not your subordinate.”
“You saying that just proved you wrong.”
That shut you up for a few hours. It was dark out by now. The sky was empty of stars, but the city lights sparkled enough to keep you entertained for a little while longer.
“Can’t we just grab him and go? What’s the whole ‘stake out’ plan for?” You airquoted. 
Miguel pressed his shoulder against yours to keep a low voice. “If he was able to bust out the first time, we need to figure out what he’s making to combat his machine.” 
You hated that he was right but your muscles were starting to cinch together from crouching. If you stood up to stretch, the Vulture would spot you through his goggles. So, you opted to roll your head back a few times.
In Miguel’s peripheral, he saw the expanse of your neck covered by the skintight spandex, stretching as you shifted. It looked small, he thought. How easy it would be to wrap his hand around and gently squeeze it to keep you quiet. Instead, he clamped it around your waist, pulling you to rest your back on his chest. It was loose enough to let you wiggle out of his grasp while still feeling the warmth crawling down to where you needed it most. 
“Quit moving.” 
The past few weeks without any form of release between your legs was agonizing. This was quite the most you’ve been touched in a while. If his fingers crawled a few inches down, he’d feel the damp fabric slick with your arousal. 
“Y-You’re cheating, O’Hara. Don’t you fucking dare–” You snarl in a low whisper.
“Ay coño… Fuck the bet,” He mumbles close to you, his clothed length pressing against the curve of your ass. There was a moan threatening to bubble up if he put on any more pressure. It was too much and yet not enough. “Did you really think Peter was too busy to do this damned stake-out with me tonight? He’d bring out his baby just to be a part of a mission.”
You threw your hands over the railing, trying to stabilize and ground yourself with what little resilience you had left as you were nestled on your knees with him close to rutting up to you. You knew he didn’t have the balls to do it, not because he’d lose, but because he wanted you to fall apart in his hands. 
“Off… Get off.” You swallow. Every part of you was trembling, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take what he was willing to hand out. And all you had to do was–
“Just ask, nena.” The drawl of his voice made you dizzy, your head fell back to his shoulder. “Ask me to sink my fingers in that pretty pussy of yours. Come on my fingers and I won’t count it against you.” He offers you a slight reprieve with the olive branch.
You chew your bottom lip in contemplation, a million thoughts dipping in and out of your mind.
Fuck this. Fuck the bet. Fuck him… up, down, and around. You want Miguel in every single way. 
You arch your back, the plush of your bottom rubbing up against his clothed cock. 
It takes everything in him to stop your movement. “Easy, easy, yeah? Use your words. It’s just you and me,” He murmurs deep into you.
“And Big Bird on steroids below us!” You try to snap back, but your voice shakes with embarrassment. 
“Stupid bird’s not gonna see us as long as you behave.” Miguel moistens his lips with the tip of his tongue. He was choking on the thought of laying you down on his bed to taste every last drop you’ll give him, then fuck you senseless. But this awkward position with your back pressed against his chest while both of you kneeled toward the railing would be enough. 
You reach to the back of your neck where the zipper for the Spidersuit dangled at every attempt of pulling it down. Miguel was of no help, his fingers idly tapped a rhythm on your hips. You felt him vibrate with amusement at your expense.
You toss your head back to rip your mask off and glare at him only to be met with his mask. 
With a last chuckle, he tugs the zipper down, watching the spandex pool around your waist. 
“Careful. Not everyone is a billionaire with infinite tech–”
It wasn’t enough. He gave it one last pull past the curve of your ass. 
You’re about to scold him again but you hear him swallow. Despite not being able to see his face, you could already imagine it.
“Ay… Not even wearing panties under this,” Miguel breathes, grabbing a handful of the plump skin. 
“Gets itchy,” You protest.
You can feel him molding the tender flesh into his palm. “Fuck– I know I see you wearing your suit every day, but… God, this is—”
Miguel’s suit retracts, exposing his skin just below his wrist bone. Something in your core bubbles up, a mixture of dread and arousal because you knew deep down that if he started now, you’d find yourself crawling back for more. Back into his office. Back into his bed. With his warm hand cupping over your pussy on the roof of an abandoned building it didn’t matter where he dragged you along. 
“You’re dripping, dios mío— all over my fucking fingers. You’re so wet. Just for me, huh?” Miguel digs his nose into the crook of your neck, his breath leaving you hot. “Working hard every day to save the universe. Not a single person stopped to give you gratitude. You just need someone to take care of your little cunt.”
And god, you want him to do it. 
“Well, too bad. This is a thankless job.” He slaps your bare sex with a shlick, his fingers grazing your clit ever. 
No matter how much you jut up to encourage him to do anything, his grip on your waist was too strong. There’s nothing to do but follow his pace and feel whatever he is willing to give you. 
“Down, take it easy. And stay focused, I still need you to keep an eye on the anomaly.” Miguel cranes his cheek down to nuzzle you. It was a poor attempt to coo your overwrought body, how did he expect you to remember what you came here for?
“Fine,” You say in a gruff voice.
“Good girl.” Miguel pulls the lips apart with two fingers, coating it with you before pressing it in. Each knuckle made you suck in a deep breath. It feels like you’ve run out of air. Floating now, you think. But the moment he curls his fingers to that spot, you’re reeling back onto earth. “There, isn’t it?”
He slides out of you, flurries of curses are caught in your throat. He knew how to drag this out. He brings the slick to the edge of your mouth. “Open for me.”
He groans as he shoves his fingers into your mouth. He wanted to taste you, but he wasn’t going to. Not yet. It didn’t feel right if it wasn’t right from the source, but that’ll have to wait. He wants you to collapse in on yourself first before he does anything else.
“Miguel.”
“I know, nena.” 
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dyaz-stories · 10 days
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'You smell nice' — Day one of Inukag Fluff Week
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Just a fun lil one-shot for day one of @inukagfluffweek! There is a hint of background SessKagu too because I love them.
Mild warning for Inuyasha's potty mouth and that should be it.
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Public transportation was the bane of Inuyasha’s existence.
First of all, whichever human had come up with the idea that half the population would stuff themselves into tin cans to get themselves to and from places, following the same precise and regular schedules every single day, deserved a trip straight to hell. It was easily the dumbest fucking concept known to man, and no self-respecting demon would have agreed to it.
Then there was the fact that there were people everywhere on public transportation, and man, did Inuyasha hate people. Gross, stupid bastards with no self-awareness and no regard for others. There were the students who’d bump into you without even noticing, the women recounting their day far too loud over the phone, and, the worst of them all, the gaggle of salarymen drunk off their asses after some reunion at work. Those ones were rude, entitled, clumsy, and, what was by far the biggest offense, they fucking stank.
And that part was what took the public transport experience from shitty to downright awful. The smells. Inuyasha was no fan of cities in general, their pollution, the sheer amount of things everywhere, whether restaurants, stores, or, of course, public toilets, and, well, the people. It wasn’t always the lack of hygiene, though that was an issue for sure, but the sweat after a day of work, the deodorants, the perfumes, they all came together to produce the foulest of stenches. He hated it here.
The train veered sharply to the left, and Inuyasha tightened his hold on the overhead bar he favored using. Fewer human hands had grabbed it, and since his height meant he had no issue reaching for it, he preferred that to other solutions. In front of him, Kagome hadn’t been so lucky, standing right against the door with nothing to hold onto. With a squeak, she stumbled backwards on her kitten heels, her back colliding with Inuyasha’s broad chest — not that there was really anywhere else for her to go, with how tightly packed the train was.
His free hand closed around her hip, stabilizing her. It came naturally, just instinct, no need to think about it or how nicely her body slotted against his.
She tilted her head back, pretty eyes looking up to him pleadingly.
“Sorry, Inuyasha,” she apologized, lips forming a cute pout.
“You’re good,” he replied, voice gruff. He sent a nasty look to the man on her right, who’d bumped into her. People usually steered clear of him, so the closer she was to him, the better. “You’re getting off at the next stop, right?”
“Yeah,” she beamed, and as always, he marveled at how easy it seemed to be for her to smile and distance herself from the mess of the world around her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shut down the noises, the smells, the flashes of people’s screens — well, unless he had her to focus on. “I can’t wait to get home.” An eyeroll. “Today was the worst.”
A smirk tugged at his lips.
“Really? You didn’t enjoy Kagura making a scene?”
He knew he had. His sister-in-law was probably his favorite person in the family, actually, with his nieces a close second, and watching her strut into her asshole husband’s office to yell at him about him cancelling their anniversary dinner had absolutely made his day. They could never stay mad at each other very long, so he was sure a very expensive reconciliation was coming, but he’d had his fun for sure.
“No, I like Kagura,” Kagome replied. “But I got cornered by Hojo at the coffee machine and he wouldn’t stop talking about some miracle diet he thinks would cure my allergies and it took me forever to free myself.”
“Want me to do something about that? He never bothers me with that shit.”
“That’s because you terrify him,” she sighed, “so no, that’s not necessary, don’t—” Another turn, but this time he kept her pressed against him, clawed hand on her waist, and her voice barely wavered. “—worry about it. And thanks for that, Inuyasha.”
A knot formed in his throat at the way she leaned back into him without hesitation. He swallowed around it. Where most people cowered away from the hanyo, Kagome had never acted like he was a threat. Sometimes, he felt she was even a little too trusting. Made him feel and think all sorts of things he wasn’t very proud of.
“’s nothing.”
From how he stood behind her, he couldn’t help but catch her scent, especially when she moved and her hair were right under his nose.
And, fuck, she was a breath of fresh air. He’d known that from the first day she’d strolled into the office, of course, gust of wind blowing through the open door and sending her smell throughout the whole office. He didn’t know what it was, if it was the reiki he could guess at under her skin, that gave it such a pleasant flavor. Either way, it could become overwhelming even in the wide open space. Here, on the other hand, it was the perfect distraction against everything else, and it took more willpower than he’d like to admit to not just sniff at her.
“Everything okay?” she asked, catching him off guard, her big inquisitive eyes staring up at him.
“Yeah, it’s—” Damn it, he’d known she was always noticing things no one else cared about. “That’s— You smell nice,” he blurted out at last, and immediately, he wished he could slap himself in the face. What a fucking weirdo. Turned out, everyone who had told him his mouth was too big for his own good, usually before they got their asses handed to them, had been right. Couldn’t he have kept it shut this one damn time?
“Oh,” Kagome said, and her expression turned thoughtful. He waited for the inevitable judgment to fall down. “I read that demons often find perfumes difficult to deal with, so I haven’t worn any since getting hired at Taisho Inc. Is that really better for you?”
There was the knot again, but this time it wasn’t embarrassment, and rather another, deeper emotion. Of course she’d pay attention to that kind of stuff.
“Yeah, it is,” he answered, clearing his throat. “Makes it hard to be around too many people.”
“That’s good to know,” she said with a nod. “Let me know if I can do other things to help you, alright?”
He would not be telling her anything about the thoughts that were running through his mind at her proposal. Nuh-huh.
“That’s my stop,” she grinned up at him, grabbing the hand at her waist and squeezing it gently in hers. “Thank you again, Inuyasha. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
She waved at him, and a second later, she was lost in the crowd, and his world was just a little darker, duller, blander. He let his hand fall back to his side, flexing it reflexively as if to remember how it had felt, touching her.
Keh. He couldn’t believe she was making him look forward to another day in the office.
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As a lot of you know, it's been ages since I last wrote for this pairing that's still near and dear to my heart, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! Don't hesitate to scream at me about it in the tags, in the reblogs, in my askbox... anywhere your heart desires lol. Thank you for reading!
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cosmerelists · 5 months
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Cosmere Protagonists Who Would Support the Villain...of Other Cosmere Planets
As requested by @asteroidfieldgame :)
Sure, in their own stories the villains are not well-liked by the majority of the cast. But if we took those villains and had them meet protagonists of other Cosmere novels...well, then it might be different, mightn't it?
[Here there be spoilers! I would skip any entry if you're not caught up on all the books for both characters involved!]
1. Moash: Supported by Kelsier
Kelsier: [holding Moash protectively ala that one meme with Kevin Hart] Kelsier: My boy Moash has LITERALLY never done anything wrong ever! Kelsier: Ooooh, did he kill his oppressors? Is he mean to poor helpless nobility? Did someone Rich experience a Consequence? Moash: (mumbling) I did try to drive my friend to suicide. Kelsier: Shh...baby boy, it's okay! Kelsier: I made my disciple advocate for old people to kill themselves with spikes to preserve their power! Kelsier: You're literally fine.
2. Odium: Supported by Harmony
Harmony: Listen, I'm not saying I agree with everything Odium does. Harmony: But making it so that you have a planet of mighty, battle-hardened residents to prepare for the coming Cosmere-wide conflict? Harmony: Sometimes I wonder if I should have done something more like that. Harmony: Instead of giving everyone an easy life and making giraffes because giraffes are neat. Odium: Have you considered...battle giraffes? Harmony: Please don't patronize me.
3. Hrathen: Supported by Ellista (that one Ardent who was really into romance novels)
Ellista: I am not immune to a handsome man in bloodred armor with a troubled past whose hard, mean exterior is slowly worn away through love. Ellista: A man who chooses love--unrequited love!--over his own god! Ellista: Problematic for an Ardent like me, but so, so compelling. Ellista: (sighs dreamily) Hrathen: ... Hrathen: Could I have someone else's support please?
4. Riina [from Tress]: Supported by Wayne
Wayne (counting off reasons on his fingers): One, if you're gonna be the sort to be giving out curses, giving out breakable curses makes you less of an unforgivable villain and more of a garden-variety dick. Wayne: Two, rats are cute. Makin' someone a rat is better 'n' making them a grub or something. Wayne: Three, and most importantly, her penis spaceship is hilarious. Riina: IT WAS NOT A PENIS SPACESHIP
5. The Lord Ruler: Supported by Dalinar
Dalinar: I suppose I am simply more aware than most that being a king is hard and can involve less-than-ideal-choices. Dalinar: And didn't he essentially become immortal while trying to cage an evil god and save his planet? I am literally setting myself up to maybe experience that as we speak. Dalinar: I know he took an entire population and made them slaves, but I did tell Jasnah not to free our slaves so, like... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Maybe Wit was right. Maybe I AM a tyrant. Wit: You've never done an enforced breeding program with humans, though. That I know of. The Lord Ruler did that! Like, a lot! Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Wait I want to mitigate my support a little.
6. Taravangian: Supported by Shai
Shai: That Diagram of his...well, it's pure art, isn't it? Shai: I'm not immune to the appeal of incredibly complex and well-researched plans turned into an artistic representation so beautiful that it attracts worshippers. Taravangian: It's really more science than it is art, I'd say. Shai: Hilarious that you think those things are different.
7. Nale: Supported by Marasi
Marasi: He knows the law and follows the law. Marasi: Don't think it would ever occur to him that someone could be quote unquote "above" the law. Marasi: That makes him better than, like, quite a lot of my coworkers.
8. The Machine [from Yumi and the Nightmare Painter]: Supported by Vasher
Vasher: Obviously a soul-eating machine that nearly destroys a planet and turns people into nightmares is not ideal. Vasher: But it's not the machine's fault it was given an ill-considered Command. Vasher: Hey! Bald guy! Wanna gentle-parent the machine too? Szeth: Uh
9. Raboniel: Supported by Elend
Elend: Not for nothing am I chair of the Support Women's Wrongs fanclub. Elend: Nor can I fail to support a Woman in Science. Basic feminism. Elend: And although I know my bar is on floor, a parent who will do anything to save their child from eternal suffering gets me right here. (points to his heart)
10. Straff: Supported by...no one
Straff: ... Straff: ... Straff: OH COME ON
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dcxdpdabbles · 1 year
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I got the Passion For Fashion brainworms, and since you're guilty for it you WILL get my headcannons.
Since Clockwork made them know spanish as if it was their first language, they only talk in spanish with eachother, more often than not completely forgetting that they are talking in SPANISH.
Danny and Dan like bickering and banter but since they were basically eachother once upon a time they know eachother's limits perfectly. That causes them to say a lot of agressive and downright nasty stuff to eachother so it always sounds like they hate eachother and are constantly fighting.
Clockwork gave them the "essentials" for making clothes, so Dan will absolutely just spam Danny's phonenwith pictures and descriptions of a sewing gadget or tool and be like "Danny i need this. Please. I know you keep making stuff don't lie to me. I know you can do it so please just make it. Danny we are too poor to buy this. Danny PLEASE I need it" until Danny accepts making the thing in true Fenton fashion.
Danny and Dan making up names for themselves because no sane parent names both of their twins "Daniel"
"I swear to the Ancients I will NOT hesitate to go Cain Instinct on your ass-"
Making fun of Vlad together. Just. Making fun of him in general.
The pmoment Bruce decides to show some interest in the twins Danny go home running and be like "Dan. Dan I fuckked up. Dan there's another billionaire after us. Dan how do I always fuck this up." and since they're both dumbasses they panic together and the batkids (who are most likely listening in with a bug or smth) are all just laughing at Bruce's sour face.
Dan headcannons cuz i love him:
I think that even if they're identical twins, Dan has longer hair with a dark gray streak (cuz of vlad ofc)
even if he is a fashion maker he probably goes everywhere wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.
Dan forcefully makes Danny do skincare to make his appearance look good but will never even drink a glass of water for his own health.
I love them and spent the entire day without internet so now I'm devoting myself thanks for the content <3<3
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I love all of these!! Its beautiful!
Danny and Dan not realizing they slipped into Spanish is such a mood tbh. Sometimes, my coworkers and I do that, and my non Spanish speaking coworker just stares at us until we snap.
Lowkey they dislike each other, but they also love each other, and no one can tell with the insults they threw. Danny and Dan live and breath the "Only I can be mean to my sibling!"
Danny would make Dan anything he asked for if it meant keeping his Obsession healthy. On the one hand, it gives him something to do and, on the other hand, keeps Dan from jumping off the deep end again. He does get annoyed with Dan spamming him at three in the moring for "A machine that could double bedazzled and polish!"
Both kept their names as Danny and Dan, so neither is Daniel. Clockwork did that when he made their files. He knew if he tried to change their names, both would refuse to answer.
They turned Vlad into a verb. Danny trips over air? "You went and Vlad-ed everything bro" Dan refuses to shower cause he has some embroidery to do? "Ugh you Vlad-ed all of my scent receivers" sometimes when the fight is really big Danny will yell "YOUR JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER VLAD!" and Dan will gasp dramatically before bursting into tears. ( Cause he took Vlad ghost that makes him half vlad and Dan has to live with that)
Bruce would never understand why the twins are more freaked out by Brucie Wayne then Batman. His kids think it's hilarious.
Dan and Danny are identical down to the hairstyle in my au, but That will change with time. Dan will grow out his hair to put it in a man bun, while Danny will cut it short. And yes, Dan wears nothing by sweats or PJs. He doesn't care about the clothes after they are finished. He just likes making them.
Dan was a pure ghost for almost ten years before Clockwork messed with his body and threw it back into its teens. He is not used to doing most basic human needs like showering, eating, sleeping, and, of course, drinking water. Danny has to remind him his headache is due to lake of all the things mentioned. That will not stop him from designing a strict beauty regime for Danny, including hourly water intake.
Last little detail, both are terrible at social interactions. Dan beacuse he thinks of himself as a ghost and doesn't like humans so he avoids them if he can and Danny cause he sees everyone as unimportant since he's planning on going home. Neither of them know anything about Batman besides what clockwork told them. As of part 3 they didn't even know he was a vigilante. So this lake of information means they don't know anyhring about the rest of Gotham and that will play a big part in how they react to villains.
Also yes, Dan was being genuinely interested when he flirted with Killer Croc, but that's cause he thought he was a EverBurning. A group of Lizard men in the ghost zone is similar to the FarFrozen society only they live in volcano surrounded by lava.
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yellowjestertfs · 7 months
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The Billionaires secret
“Hi there. Find what what you were looking for?” I ask in my customary upbeat yet soul-dead customer service voice.
“I think so. Going to give this one a try.” She says handing me a copy of a book called The Billionaire’s Secret from the romance section. I can see why she picked it, on the cover a man in a suit lay on a bed with the buttons of his dress shirt undone showing off his impressive six-pack and strong hairless chest. Brownish red eyes smolder seductively outwards from a masculine face. High cheekbones, soft lips, and a wide square jaw adorned with black stubble that connects to a short-styled head of black hair.
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“I’m Bridget by the way,” she says, obviously a bit embarrassed to see me eying up the cover. “Oh, and this is Dan.” She says gesturing at the man standing a few paces away, engrossed by some mobile game on his phone. 
“Nice to meet you, Bridget.” I scan the book. “That will be $17,” I say. 
She glances over at Dan, he doesn't seem to notice so she retrieves her credit card from her purse and taps it against the machine. “I don’t know why I expected him to offer.” She tells me in a conspiratorial whisper “He’s broke. I mean not that it matters to me, but it would just be nice to date a wealthy man or one who at least pays attention to me.” 
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Customers often confided in me. I wish I could say it is because of my open honest face or charismatic demeanor but it probably had more to do with a book I once ate about a bartender people told all their secrets to.
I look around. There are a few consumers browsing the book shelves and my manager is sitting at his desk in the back, no one close enough to notice. Bridget seems sweet, too sweet to be with a man like Dan. Poor girl just wants to escape with some fiction, so why not indulge her a little.
“Did you get a chance to check out our books on sale?” I ask Bridget diverting her attention away. She looks over at the shelf I pointed at giving me enough time to crack my knuckles, take a deep breath, and begin.
I place my hands over the cover of the book and it springs open, the pages start to turn themselves slow at first then speed up. Words start to flow from the book as the pages flip past. The letters lift from the page like a sticker being peeled, floating into the air to spin around me. They form a cyclone of black ink as the pages that flip by are left blank.
I feel the lines as they flow off the paper. The first line reads. “Kustav tower is 400 stories tall, rumor has it, it’s smaller than Dane Kustav’s dick.” 
I directed the words towards Bridget’s boyfriend. The ink splashes into him, absorbing into his gray hoodie but leaving no mark. None except for the fact that his basketball shorts start to thrash like a wild animal is trapped inside. Dan didn't look up from his phone even as his dick doubled and then tripled in size to match the one described in the book Billionaires Secrets.
I tried to be sparing with my abilities. Fiction is great so long as it stays fiction, otherwise you have evil robots or sparkly vampires running around. Still, every once in a while my heroic urges will take over and I am called to help someone with my power to bring words to life. Bridget is one of those people.
More words flowed off the page. “Dane Kustav is well dressed at all times. One would be hard-pressed to ever see Dane not in a suit. If one did see him without a suit, it would be in the bedroom where they would be very, very hard pressed indeed.”
The words spin around me once then drift over to Dan again on an invisible wind. This time his clothes were affected by the words. His grey hoodie which he wore with the hood up, melted off his body, the threads unwinding then rebinding themselves into a far higher quality dress shirt and black jacket complete with a blue tie. His shorts became black dress pants and his sneakers a pair of brown loafers. The outline of his much larger dick was clear in his new tighter pants. A few seconds passed with no changes then, slowly his tie undid itself and each of the buttons on his dress shirt opened so that he was sporting a matching look to that of the man on the cover of the book. Unlike the cover, however, Dan lacked the chiseled face or body to pull off the open shirt. His slight gut and saggy, hairy chest made the outfit look awkward rather than sexy.
Bridget looked up from the sale rack and glanced at her half-nude boyfriend with a chagrined glance. In her mind, he was always dressed in the finest clothes even if he still acted like a man-child.
“Dane Kustav towered over everyone be that in stature or in business.” 
I directed the words into him. Dan shot upwards, his modest 5’10” frame becoming a proud 6’3”, clothes growing to match. And though it wasn’t visible Dan’s head was also filled with business smarts he had lacked before. The game on his phone shifted from Fruit Ninja to Hey Day.
The pages continue to flip, their words leaving the page to float in the air under my command.
“Dane Kustav's muscles were like that of a brass statue, smooth, hard, and golden. Each curve could only have been sculpted by the hands of an artist for nature could never make anybody so perfect.”
I look over at Dan’s soft pudgy body. Not the words I would use to describe him, at least not yet. I float the sentence to him.
Instantly Dan’s belly flattens. One by one his abs pop into being as if pushed out from the inside like one of those pop-it toys. His man boobs visibly transmute from fat to muscle, perking up and then growing into a strong chest like that of the man on the cover of the book. Inside the sleeves of his dress shirt, his arms thicken into a pair of round vascular biceps while his legs below do the same. A tan, like oil spreading over water seeps across his body until his exposed muscles really looked like sculpture bronze turned to life. The few hairs that had looked sloppy before now lent his body a rugged masculinity.
Bridget looks at her boyfriend with a new lust. Her hands start to roam his abs and chest but Dan, still on his phone, only bats them away. 
Man-child indeed, a man in the body, a child in the face and the personality. I divert my attention back to the flipping pages looking for words I could use to fix that. The book is reaching the end, and the main character, assistant to the billionaire, has finally seduced her boss in a very steamy scene. High-class writing it is not, but at least it gives me plenty to work with.
“I ran my hand down his sharp square jaw.” 
I throw the words at him. The shape of his face shifts to be more masculine.
“He looked at me through squinted sexy amber eyes.”
His eyes shift from a pale blue to an amber so rich it almost looked red. He finally looks up from his phone and deep into Bridget's eyes. She returns the stare with a smile. 
“He brought my hand up to his cheek, I felt each bristle of his short sharp stubble.”
Dan moves Bridget's fingers up to his face which is now covered in a sexy two days' worth of growth.
“Then he kissed me with his soft sensual lips hard enough to make me weak in the knees.”
The words flow off the page and into him. His lips grow pillowy and pink and interlocked with Bridget’s. He wraps his muscular arms around her, keeping her steady as she collapses into him. 
“I warp my fingers into his jet-black quaffed hair as I prepare for him to take me.”
His hair gains a stylish cut and is dark as pitch, body hair and stubble do the same. Bridget greedily runs her hand through his new dark dew.
“He smelled like sports deodorant, woody cologne, and sex. I wanted nothing more than this man to take me.”
The bookstore fills with his scent. I am surprised to find myself turned on by the whole thing. I have reached the end of the book, the final page.
“It was then that I learned the billionaire's secret.”
This was the good stuff. I leech the words off the page and send them to Dan, or rather now, Dane.
“His secret wasn’t that he was hot, or rich, or could make any girl swoon.”
Their kiss intensifies. Dane started to undo Bridget's blouse.
“No, the billionaire's secret was.”
Suddenly Dane pulls away.
“The billionaire was gay.”
“Sorry Bridget,” Dane says taking a few steps back and looking at her with sudden realization. “I don’t think I can do this.” 
His eyes wander over to lock onto mine, rich amber orbs seeming to really take me in. He winks. “You thought, I think that could work. What are you doing after this?” He asks smoothly “Want to go get coffee in Paris on my jet? My treat.”
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throwaway-yandere · 2 years
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Apotheosis Upon Your First Feast (Yandere!Wanderer & Pantalone/Reader)
Commissioned by: @leftdestiny-posts/@eternally-frozen (ilysm. Feel free to kill me later lmao)
unreliable synopsis: After being reassigned to Vanarana when your previous coworker became the Acting Grand Sage, with the help of Ararycan, you reunited met a wanderer on an abandoned machine. Unfortunately for someone, your childhood friend "Pantalone" has ears and eyes everywhere. (Avoid this fic if you’re not a fan of dark content. It’s not too dark but your mental health matters!) 
IMPORTANT NOTE: Please use the InteractiveFics extension and change “(Y/n)” to whatever name you want, “[Wanderer]” to his chosen name, and lastly, also change “(wood/salt)” to… whichever option you feel like. It’s a surprise mechanic *wink*. If you're reading this on a phone, just pick between wood or salt right now, keep your choice in mind and commit to it : )
Afterwards, would you be so kind as to answer this fun poll after reading the fic? Danke ♡
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“Why doesn't Nara (Y/n) eat what Arasaka prepares for them? Does Nara (Y/n) lack appetite lately?”
“O-Oh, well, that’s…” You paused, looking down at the broth, “in all honesty, your cooking tastes bland…”
“H-Huh?!”
Time had passed since Lesser Lord Kusanali's official ascent to power and now is the fifth month since you first made friends with the Aranaras. Many events took place before you found your pyro vision becoming Arasaka's torch as they cooked– and if any of your coworkers saw you now, they probably wouldn’t identify you as Alhaitham’s (only) friend and Ex-Sage Azar’s lazy employee.
Maybe they would've if you helped Alhaitham and his teammates secure Sumeru’s future.
Sure, your name isn’t listed in the coup d’etat, but that’s only because you wished for the Akademiyan scholars to make the epiphany for themselves. As Azar’s ex-assistant, you laid low from projects as a prerequisite so that the populace may acquire a personality of their own to make the nation truly deserving of the title “Land of Wisdom.” 
Alas, that did not happen.
Alhaitham’s tactics were not wrong, but you felt like his group spoonfed Sumeru citizens with the Fatui’s crimes rather than having their own realizations. It did not feel like growth to you. It felt like the people casually learned from a one-sitting textbook rather than a hands-on experiment when they should’ve personally learned how minacious blind ambitions could be. In turn, he argued that your ideas were barbaric and that scholars revolting was not in the realm of possibility– hence, you did not lend your aid. Perhaps your inaction had pissed him off, but it’s more likely that he finds that sending you to Varanara was ideal for his workload. 
And in some strange domino effect, refraining from helping a coup d’etat meant eating the tasteless food known to man.
Since you were personally assigned a senseless task to patrol and report weather patterns in the area (which is unnecessary and quite frankly boring), you had befriended the infamous aranaras children from Port Ormos hear stories about. 
But the mundanity doesn’t hurt your pride as a graduate scholar. It's been fun so far.
“I'm sorry, 'Saka, it's just that I think your food lacks a bit of salt–"
"ASSISTANT (Y/N), THERE YOU ARE!!!"
Both of you flinched, causing Arasaka to topple over. The sound hurts. You snapped your neck towards the sound. An adventurer– Baharak– stood with both hands wrapped on her bag's shoulder straps with a silly grin on her face.  
… You’re turning the setting of your hearing aids down.
“Baharak, it’s been a while,” you spoke. “Would you mind not yelling whenever you call for me?”
“Oops– Sorry (Y/n)! I mean– sorry, Assistant (Y/n).”
Changing her volume doesn’t undo the pain she inflicted on your ears. Gently, you pushed Arasaka behind an elevated jag of root to cover them. To escape suspicion, you continued to stare at Baharak while feigning sleepiness.
“What are you here for?”
“The Forest Watcher received a letter addressed to you. The sender doesn’t have a name again, it just has the coin-seal thing.”
“Please hand it over.”
“Aight!– I mean, alright.”
After dismissing the loud adventurer and giving her spare mora as thanks, you waited until she was out of sight. Arasaka suddenly rose and jumped onto your lap, equally curious about what was written on the salt-scented parchment. Arasaka's preppy manner soon turned sour as they discovered who the sender was.
It’s a letter from your best friend, "Pantalone".
“Aww…” Arasaka whined. “Arasaka was hoping it was the Verdant Nara instead.”
You tore it open.
 
"My dearest, (Y/n),
If it's not too much to ask, may I trouble you to visit my office in Northland Bank soon? I merely wish to see you. Spending Lantern Rite alone this year was not a pleasant experience. It's just for a mere chat- I'll reimburse your traveling and dining expenses. Care to make it up to me?
Your beloved,
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As per tradition, you threw the letter in the fireplace. Pantalone doesn’t like leaving a trail of evidence, naturally, you assumed the same applies here.
It's never a chore to visit a friend. Maybe you'll head there tomorrow–
“Arasaka doesn’t like Nara Pantalone.”
The aranara lowered their head, continuing, “Nara Pantalone reminds Arasaka of the Taste of Sadness.”
Cute. 
Every time Pantalone comes to visit, the aranaras behave like envious little siblings. Ever since you started patrolling Vanarana, the place had become the harbinger’s premiere leisure destination. The woods critters frequently tried to undermine his gifts, but they were adorably ineffective. Even if Pantalone cannot see them, the situation is nonetheless amusing.
If you remember correctly, the Taste of Sadness means salt to aranaras, right?
“Ah, well,” you laughed. “I guess you must be incredibly sensitive to his smell. He took quite a liking to salt-infused perfumes last year.”
“Don’t like perfume.”
“But I am wearing one though… Has the scent been bothering you all this time, Arasaka?”
“No, Arasaka was wrong. Arasaka likes perfume, and Arasaka hates salt. Taste of sadness. The scent of sadness.” 
“Oh, no! If Pantalone’s smell makes my dear Arasaka sad, then maybe we should drown him in Varunastra,” you chuckled darkly, expecting the aranara to react loudly over your out-of-pocket remark.
“Of course. Salt Nara would make for decent spare rations!”
You laughed out loud at Arasaka’s even more out-of-pocket reply. Out-of-pocket is an understatement, that comment straight up sounded out-of-the-CASKET. 
Before standing up, you ruffled Arasaka’s nonexistent hair like you would with your deceased sisters.
“I’ll come back in a few days, okay? In the meantime, why don’t you read a cookbook?”
“Hmph! Nara (Y/n), you’re being mean! Just wait! My sisters will make a dish Nara (Y/n) can’t say “no” to!” 
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“It’s a dumb risk.”
“It’s a new business venture, dearest.”
“The market for new eyeglasses isn’t going to rise any time soon.”
“Why are you so adamant on opposing this idea?”
“Stagnation breeds putrefaction, especially in business, does it not?” You raised an eyebrow, preparing for a harangue. 
“Je suis d’accord!” The man spoke softly, accentuating his Fontaine pronunciation somewhat boastfully. Knowing your disability, he never raises his voice to the point of it hurting. “And it is precisely why I want to invest in an eyewear conglomerate in Sumeru.”
“Then why are you dropping your prior investments?!”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
You sighed, annoyed.
Pantalone is an amazing businessman, but without your council, he wouldn’t amount to who he is now. Unlike most people, “sneakily ambitious” are not the words you would describe your visionless friend. Such a moniker sounds insulting given his lack of celestial blessings and you know Celestia itself never took kindly towards his well-versed dirty tricks against his opponents.
In your humble opinion, the term “industrious” is a better-suited and less backhanded compliment for him.
You’ve known Pantalone— no— “██████” since childhood. Your history stretched back so much that you no longer recall the circumstances of how you befriended him. He acted as your ears when it came to haggling and normal day-to-day chores. As far as you know, he has always been an older brother to you. In times of extreme poverty, you both prayed and starved together, scraping by using salt rocks as entrees. 
There was no one else that made your deafness bearable except for him. With no family left, he was your only beacon of hope and dear Morax– you’d rather not remind yourself of the time your dead sisters mistakenly ate mud for rice cakes when famine struck.  
You chose Amurta out of the Six Great Schools for a reason:
You can’t afford to watch anyone die of hunger ever again.
When you began living in Sumeru, you had pledged your alliance with the region but never forgot all the toil you had to go through. As a malnourished child, you quickly fell in love with the nation. In Sumeru, healthcare was free– in Liyue? You heard nothing, and you wished that “advantage” doesn’t make you blind from the evil you witnessed in the slums. Poverty ate away your hearing, your family, and your childhood dreams… 
In a way, the only reason you see aranaras in the first place may be that you didn’t have the chance to experience any childlike wonder until you escaped Liyue.
Pantalone scoffed, “whether you agree with my financial decision or not doesn't affect my resolve. Do not press more about this, dearest.”
… But you’re convinced that your closest confidant “██████” had already perished from starvation long ago.
The man before you calls himself “Pantalone” nowadays and you lose all sense of indolence whenever his presence looms. When he watched your last sister perish in your arms, an epiphany gave birth to his cold demeanor towards deities. He found it challenging to worship the Archons who had no need for mora but were eager to take it away from destitute mortals who needed it as you and your sisters did. The death of your younger sibling was his final straw, and in a sense, you also buried your old friend that night. 
Unlike ██████, Pantalone cannot forgive nor trust the Archons for their broken promises. If Lesser Lord Kusanali had abandoned withered forests, Rex Lapis had abandoned those whose blood and tears cannot amount to any mora. You were only allowed to study at the Akademiya after he decided the former was the lesser evil.
Although Pantalone never condemns you for calling him by his birth name, you cannot tell yourself that he and ██████ are fully the same person. There is an unspoken need to straighten your posture and greet him with a semi-scowl to demonstrate your maturity despite him acting cozy and warm. Worse, his lax demeanor never ceases to remind you that despite his uncomfortable reputation, Pantalone is the only companion you’d entrust your soul to even when the world warns you not to deal a contract with the devil.
“You just want to use new brackets every day—”
“I am a businessman, love.”
You speared Pantalone with a pointed look.
“—And why Sumeru? Have you landed a deal with a reputable Amurtan optician? And why didn’t you ask ME first? You weren’t cornered by Dottore or the Tianquan to kickstart an eyeglasses company, were you?”
He scowled, unamused before firing back without skipping a beat. 
“Summer, seven years ago. You accidentally bought six bunraku puppets from Inazuma—”
Your eyes widened. Not this embarrassing anecdote again.
“Woah, woah! Now, why are YOU extorting me?”
“So you’d be silenced quicker.”
“…”
This reticence was slowly exasperating the harbinger, but he never utters a complaint when you're whom he's conversing with. Pantalone cleared his throat with an elegant smile. In that moment of cessation, you figured that he had a seemingly innocent proposal in mind.
“(Y/n), my most dearest baobei…” The harbinger ventured.
“Pantalone…”
He pulled out his desk drawer and ferreted out a parcel that you suspect contains a pair of glasses.
“Would you care to be a test sub—”
“No.”
You have a gut feeling as to where this is going. He’s going to propose that it’s “just” glasses until you find out he’s been using you to track or spy on someone without your knowledge. Classic Pantalone. You won't be duped by that TWICE in a row. If you knew better, you wouldn’t have accidentally leaked intel to the Fatui that Katheryne was being controlled by the Lord of Verdure. All because Pantalone hid a recorder on one of his “gifted” hearing aids...
Listen— just because you refused to lend a hand to the Archon when she was in need and was subsequently confronted by the 2nd harbinger in Sumeru City doesn’t mean you were colluding with these fools. 
You just wanted to remain neutral in any given situation. Unlike your childhood friend, politics bore you to death. And just like the Acting Grand Sage, you’re too lazy to act as a beta tester no matter how minimal the effort the task requires.
“I only ask that you wear this pair of glasses and test its comfortability.”
“I refuse.”
“We can negotiate how much mora you’ll earn—”
“Just stop.”
“Hmm, if I phrase it as a “gift”, would you accept—”
“Hell no.”
Pantalone paused.
“Hmm…” He tapped his desk, gazing at the paperwork neatly piled up.
“Word of advice, (Y/n), it’s highly probable that the price of cocoa will rise next week,” he shrugged. “That fact is, of course, most definitely unrelated to our current discussion.”
Is he… 
Is he threatening to generate chocolate inflation over a pair of glasses?!
You scoffed, eyes wide.
“██████, you worthless SCALPER.“
“The majority prefer to call me a ‘regrator’, but that new nickname is acceptable as long as it is you who makes such mildly unpleasant utterances.”
“GAH! You— YOU—” Even though he may completely ruin your usual routine of buying chocolates after work, it's difficult to curse him out. You have no choice but to spout illogical syllables without a valid clause. “JUST— YOU!!! YOU.”
Smack.
Upon hearing your facepalm resoundingly, he laughed uncontrollably, removing his glasses to wipe his eye with an uneven grin on his face. He tried to keep his composure but he kept snorting. 
You took a peek between your fingers. What a precious noise. You haven’t heard him laugh like this for over three years now.
At that moment, you thought ██████ was alive.
“F-Fine— give me those damn eyeglasses.”
Pantalone drifted the parcel above your palm until he quickly retracted it as soon as you reached forward.
“But before I do that, can you promise me one thing?”
“What is it this time?” You groaned.
“Don’t lend it to anyone else, understand?” Pantalone slightly ruffled your hair. “I had it custom-made for you.”
You rolled your eyes, “that thing is definitely wiretapped. You’re not even bothering to hide it anymore.”
“Oh no, it’s not just that—” 
“Just that?”
He shrugged smugly, which was not a good sign. 
“The eyeglasses function similar to an Akasha Terminal, but of course, the information you’d find there is directly from my database.”
Pantalone opened the box and swiftly put the white-framed glasses on your face. He lightly tapped the frame—
and a control panel window flickered open.
Just like an Akasha.
“H-How on earth—”
“The Doctor and I had a deal. He’ll recreate at least 80% of a regular Akasha’s functions while I help him track down a few… crops. It’s a quid pro quo, I promise. It’s less of him exploiting me and more of me exploiting…— well, that doesn’t matter right now. C’mere, let me see your lovely face...”
Pantalone tilted your chin up with his thumb. His face was inches away from yours, and his piercing lilac eyes observed your glasses and what was behind them, calculating. His breathing was notably strained in a subconscious attempt to make you feel less uncomfortable from the position he trapped you in— ever the perfect gentleman— but you see his entire face flushed in a pinkish hue. A few seconds have passed, and you feel the glove pressed against you twitching. 
Pantalone pulled away, shoulders stiff.
His ears were red.
“I-It’s working as intended.”
If not for the nature of your relationship, you were close enough to kiss– an appealing notion for the harbinger, yet it is not a move he should bring himself to try.
“Y-Yeah, no kidding. That was awkward.”
He gripped his arm, looking at the window.
Pantalone is painfully aware you think of him as an older brother. Or at least, the shadow of one, given how you rarely call him by name anymore.
“My apologies, I simply wanted to take a good look at you.'
He muttered, “you’ve grown into a gorgeous person, (Y/n).”
You didn’t hear him.
“██████– I mean, Pantalone–”
“Go back to calling me ██████, dear.”
“Pantalone.” You put more emphasis on his harbinger name, watching in glee as he rolled his eyes, “I expect to be paid in chocolates and at least two months’ worth of food.”
Indeed, your proposed exchange pleased him. ██████ knows how much you value healthy eating and abhor it greatly when others waste grains of rice. Time and imagination had transformed his early memories as you as a human so close to a skeletal figurine with sunken cheeks and broomstick-like limbs. Those thoughts cause him much sorrow. Pantalone would have pampered you for free if you had only let him– seeing you eating healthy gives him life. Almost like how a father would tell his children that seeing them full is enough to make him full as well. 
Let him spoil you with food. Please.
Seeing you thin makes him feel sad.
“What do you want to eat for dinner later? My treat, as always.”
“Mint salad sounds lovely.”
“Just mint salad?” Pantalone smiled thinly.
His dearest baobei, no longer skin and bones. No longer barely fueled by rice and salt. No longer skipping meals. It warms his heart more than the exclusive springs offered to him because of his mora and title… But it’s not enough. It’s never enough.
“Hmm… Would it be okay to request a plate of Triple-Layered Consommé?” You muttered, gazing at the floor. “I kind of miss your cooking… Just. Just kind of.”
His heart skipped a few beats as he saw your shy expression. 
You straightened up, coughing, “not that your cooking is anything special, it’s just that I don’t want to eat anything too bland and–”
“Of course! Anything for you, my love.”
Pantalone grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles.
“My baobei, you’d be too full to walk once I’m done spoiling you…”
“D-Did you have to word it so seductively?!”
You blushed once again, which only served to worsen his urge for making you undeniably satiated. 
Oh, how he wants to keep you in a cage, locked up, and fed until he’s satisfied that you’ll never starve again…
Maybe then, you’d let him spoon-feed you like years before...
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There's no rest for the wicked. When you returned to Vanarana the next day, the aranaras pulled you in for another chore at Devantaka Mountain.
“Hey, little man, get down there, right now!” 
You screamed with your hands cupped around your mouth to amplify your voice. The aforementioned "small man" scoffed, not shifting an inch from his posture, as the blue aranara crept up behind you.
Ararycan worriedly relayed that a “Wood Nara” had been trespassing the large abandoned Khaenri’ahn machine. The little vegetable-like creature had grown to trust you when it came to scaring off unwanted guests, which usually entailed eremites or treasure hoarders scavenging for scrap metal. 
“Ararycan wants to stop Wood Nara.”
You gently pried the wire off their hand, keeping it in your pocket in a very definite fashion. 
“I know, ‘Rycan, but Naras are stubborn beings.”
“Just like Nara (Y/n)?”
You gasped, eyes widened.
These plant-like beings are surprisingly masterful at the art of roasting.
 “Just like Nara (Y/n), you say?! Rude, Ararycan, rude.”
You laughed humorlessly, masking your jadedness with forced laughter. 
In all honesty, you’re inclined to believe that this job reassignment was Alhaitham’s way of punishing you for remaining neutral. But surprisingly? An Amurta alumnus like you have been enjoying the task and in no small part thanks to these silly little creatures.
It's absurd to imagine that you would consent to be pulled by these vegetable creatures. You initially believed that they were paracosms produced by a lack of stimulation. You once tried to ignore them. Regrettably, that frail facade didn't survive due to a couple of slip-ups. The first to catch you drawing their likenesses next to your weather reports was Arapas. The second was Arabalika, who overheard you whispering about how powerful they were after they defeated a ruin grader, and then Arama who heard you humming their songs. They’ve built up quite the case against you, and you had to fess up before they start giving you a hard time.
By “hard time”, you were referring to how a crowd of tumultuous aranaras huddled up and tugged your hearing aids’ wire with their teeny hands incessantly.
Which was what Ararycan is doing right now.
“Get us up there, Nara (Y/n).” 
"Careful, Rycan– you might damage the wire."
Suddenly, the hatted man's eyes widened after seeing you. Call it intuition, but it seemed like this total stranger knew who you were.
You made an exaggeratedly loud inhaling sound, turning off your hearing aids momentarily.
And then, a scream.
“STOP, STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!! RIGHT!!! NOW!!!”
The difference between stupidity and bravery is measured by outcome, and neither are variables you wish for this “Wood Nara” to test out. Alhaitham would have you write two pages detailing an incident if the stranger broke something and eight more if the machine awakened. And sadly, you are only a small percent less lazy than that man.
Despite your words droning childishly, you made no move to approach him. His eyes sharpened, but you felt no scrutiny— 
This man you’ve never met wore a blatant look of disbelief.
You looked down.
Maybe he could see Ararycan…?
“Hey— can you see them?”
You swiftly swept Ararycan off the ground, who made a surprised yelp. 
The man winced.
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"P-Please… Leave the forest alone…"
"And why should I care about your pathetic request?"
"Please, have mercy… T-There are creatures that live in this area… Creatures you cannot see because you lacked a human heart."
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“–Ngh!”
Those memories were hard to swallow, like reading an inked sloppy handwriting submerged in water.
“G-Good riddance…”
The man coiled in pain, gripping his scalp with his lithe fingers. You cannot view the expression on his face, nor were you able to verify that he had yelped. The distance between you two was too great to conceive a communication that did not rely on shouting.
“Nara (Y/n), what are you doing?!”
Although your proximity with the aranara doesn’t cause any communication barriers, that didn’t stop Ararycan from yelling.
For some reason, the stranger flinched after seeing you carry what appeared to be air around “normal people”’s vision. Perhaps he found your actions cringe-inducing… or perhaps it made his migraine worse. Then again, both possibilities are not mutually exclusive. However, you have a feeling he didn’t flinch because he saw Ararycan.
The blue aranara leaped off of your hands.
“Ararycan is worried… Ararycan thinks Wood Nara is going to destroy the giant iron mountain…”
You stared up at the man again, wanting to go on for a long rant but refrained after realizing how immature that is. While you do have a hunch that the stranger possessed a vision, you’d bet mora that he is no match for Arabalika’s accumulated Ararakalari. 
“Say, why do you keep calling him Wood Nara? Is it because of his ginormous hat?” You whispered to Ararycan.
“Huh? Did Nara (Y/n) not notice?” They tilted their head.
“Ararycan calls him “Wood Nara” because he’s made of white wood. Ararycan is not sure if he is a real Nara.”
Their answer entered from one ear and exited in the other. You’re used to hearing the Aranara lexicon that you never take any sentence at face value since you’ve learned your lesson back when Arasaka made you scout the market for a “Taste of Happiness.” Thank the Lord of Verdure that it was only Pantalone who laughed at you for describing sugar as “white, cubic, crumbles when crushed, becomes sand, and can be eaten.”
“Hah, well, he better not be made out of wood 'cause I might burn him.”
“Ararycan doesn’t think that’s easy to do. Wood Nara smells like the taste of anger,” once again, you ignored their riddled words.
You clutched the pyro vision dangling in your cloak’s right shoulder, located opposite where Alhaitham places his. Your skill set does not differ from that dendro user’s repertoire, and you calculated what vertice you should drop upon teleporting. Grabbing Ararycan, you rushed forward...
Without making it past the one-minute mark, you leaped effortlessly to where the stranger stood.
“Excuse me, young man, but do you have an Investigation Charter from the Akademiya?”
With an unused voice when it comes to dishing out commands– much less an implied threat– your approach wasn’t even a fraction of what makes authorities like the General Mahamatra intimidating. Yet, you still tried. You crossed your arms and hovered your hand near your claymore.
This stranger gazed up, boasting his soft face and beautiful lilac eyes topped with a complexion quite like a sheltered princess. He had the finest eyes you had ever seen. Yet, even with a heaven-sent face, his eyebrows were knitted. He continued kneeling on the cold metal of the giant mossed and corroded machine. 
One closer look should’ve made you hyper-aware that his joints were not bound by mortal flesh, but your heart was more entranced by his glassy pupils. 
“We meet again. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.” 
He muttered inaudibly, hence, you did not hear him. Since you also just came back from visiting Liyue and their post-festival fireworks, you’ve turned your hearing aid settings lower than usual. You bent your knees slightly, offering a hand.
“Nana korobi ya oki,” you said. The stranger looked like he hailed from Inazuma, so you thought you’d put your knowledge to good use. “It means–”
Unbeknownst to you, you uttered the same thing in a past long forgotten.
“I know: fall down seven times, get up eight.”
His gloved hand grasped your own, and you tried not to think about how soft yet firm it was as you pulled him up. You grunted slightly from the shifted weight while he didn’t breathe at all.
“No, I don’t have any clearance permit,” he said. “And I still don't have a heart, if that still matters to you.”
You raised an eyebrow.
‘Still’? What the hell is he talking about? Aaru village is miles away from here, but is it possible that the man you’re talking to is a mad scholar? That’s concerning. 
Pushing your glasses farther up the bridge of your nose, you tried to search his face in Sumeru's records– which might be more unlawful than whatever this man's doing, but who's policing you anyways?
Nothing.
There's not a single official record on this man.
Not even in the Fatui's database.
Almost like the man in front of you doesn't exist.
"What the hell are you wearing?" The man sneered. "Since when did you have awful eyesight too?"
“No Investigation Charter, no clearance, just what do you think you’re doing here?” You digressed. “May I at least have your name?”
The man tilted his hat up, “and why should I stupidly give my information away?”
Your eye twitched. He kinda reminds you of Arabalika. Maybe if you gave him a cane he’ll calm down a bit.
“I do have a use for your name, awkward stranger.”
“And that is?”
Writing a report to the Acting Grand Sage regarding suspicious individuals.
“Something to call you,” you shrugged with a child-like candor, renewing your request with bold obstinacy. “I’d rather not recount this tale to various parties as That One Time An Awful Little Man Tried To Pry Open A Giant Machine And Failed.”
He exhaled curtly.
… Was that a laugh?
“How childish. Even if you don't know my name, your "friends"– assuming you have some– will remember me by that stupid description.”
“I mean, it's a memorable first impression,” you met his gaze smugly. “But why are you hiding your name, hmm? Suspicious.”
“It’s called respecting one’s privacy. Something you don't understand.”
How rude of him to make assumptions about you, “are you some covert government official?”
“No.”
“Then what? Are you some inhuman being?”
“...” He didn’t say a word.
Something tells you that the answer is close to your hunch.
“[Wanderer].”
He muttered, once again, you did not hear it so he spoke louder.
“That's my name. Don't you dare make me repeat it.”
“[Wanderer]…”
You missed the way he tipped his hat, hiding an uncontrollable smile from your view.
[Wanderer]... That does sound like a fitting name. It reminded you of a character from a franchise or mythological tale you thoroughly enjoyed as a teenager. It might be rude to share that information, though. You’re not certain how this bratty person would react upon hearing that his name might as well be the name of your lotus from a botany class.
Normally, [Wanderer] would snap a “speak up– is there something wrong with my name?” upon listening to hushed whispers or a resounding silence after his many introductions. But you’re different for a reason. 
There was no way in hell he would take the traveler's suggestion over a name you had given him.
Ararycan tugged your pants.
“Hey, don’t just stare at him, Nara (Y/n)! Tell him to leave!!!” Araycan trashed around. “Nara (Y/n) must be a brave Nara if you like the taste of anger.”
[Wanderer] is the taste of anger? Is that what Ararycan was trying to say?
You blushed, fake-coughing behind your hand.
You wouldn’t say he reminds you of the taste of anger– especially with that winsome face. If anything, his appearance looks a lot like the bunraku dolls you accidentally bought years ago.
“Well, [Wanderer], it’s nice to finally put a name to a face,” you said. “But this is a dangerous area. What are you doing here…?”
“I just wanted to look for traces of the Doctor,” [Wanderer] crossed his arms. “Unfortunately, I can’t pry this stupid machine open.”
“The Doctor? Who’s that?”
“The Harbinger who sits at the second–”
“Aah, The Outcast. I see–” you shook your head. “Wait, no, I don’t get it. What does he have anything to do with this machine here? This is a Khaenriah’n creation.” 
“I know, I’m not dumb like you. I'm here because The Doctor had plans for these automatons, that’s why I’m here.”
“But even so, it’s not advisable to wander these parts alone. You ought to have asked for a travel companion. Who knows if you run into a hoard of vanaagnis in marana?”
“Hmph. Do you think I can’t handle a few whooperflowers in a withering zone? The audacity.”
“Arrogance is the capital stock of misfortune– wait, how’d you know Vanaagnis is a term for whooperflowers?” You blinked expressively. “And the meaning of marana too– so you ARE a mad scholar.”
“I’m NOT,” [Wanderer] glared. You noticed how he seemed unimpressed when you mentioned that proverb about arrogance and “capital stock”, and his expression soured more when you accused him of being a lunatic. 
“I just… I just learned from the best.”
[Wanderer]'s stare not wavering away from you.
Your silence did not go unnoticed by the other two.
“...Why do I have a feeling you’re trying to say that you’ve learned from me?” Those words had escaped from your mouth before you could stop them.
[Wanderer]’s eyes widened.
“Can… Can you remember?”
“Remember…?”
He frowned, eyes reflecting his disappointment.
“No, no, it’s probably just a fluke,” [Wanderer] frowned with a finger tracing his lips. “Maybe my expression just gave it away…”
“Nara (Y/n)!!! Tell Wood Nara to leeaaaaveee!!!”
You tried not to flinch at Ararycan’s whining. They don’t seem to understand that having poor hearing doesn’t mean you can’t register their commands.
[Wanderer] walked past you. 
“Fine, I’ll leave this device alone, but on one condition.”
“What makes you think you’re the one in control–”
“Go out with me.”
“...”
“...”
“... What?”
Your eyeglasses flickered red.
But that red light was gone in a blink, you weren't even sure if it existed.
You laughed nervously, “sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly–”
He refused to meet your eyes like a coward.
[Wanderer] replied brusquely, “look– you're partially deaf, but you’re NOT stupid. You heard what I said, so own it.”
"Hold on– where is all this coming from, [Wanderer]?" You pivoted your heel but were too late to yank his sleeve. 
He already hovered a few feet away from you.
"I'll come to visit this place more often," [Wanderer] smirked. "You’ll still be here at the upcoming Festival, right? Mark your calendar. That’s our date.”
“Hey, you can’t just!– Aaand he’s gone.”
Despite his abrupt parting, you couldn’t help but smile over such a cheeky encounter, completely forgetting how that man rummaged through the giant machine you’re standing on without a permit.
Something tells you that you’d see him more often.
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And you did.
“[Wanderer]” never failed to visit you at 10 AM sharp every day, until there was only one day left till the next Sumeru Festival. At first, you thought his eccentric personality would make the following days unbearable, but he was rather civil– just sharp-tongued. 
He would show up whenever you wandered in the forest to disseminate knowledge about the local flora and Sumeru's history. Some of them you already knew, while others had you wondering if he knew the Lord of Verdure. While you were trying to interview him for a report, not as a trespasser but as an assistant, you once purposely lightened the atmosphere to get honest responses from him. When you jokingly asked who he was, his reply was unsatisfactory.
“Who I am is not carved in wood nor stone. ᏕᎧᎷᏋᎧᏁᏋ wise told me that it’s a flexible concept and it’s easier to understand through a story, but even then, you’d only see a fraction of who that person is,” [Wanderer] peered dotingly. “If you wish to know who I am, then work for it. I’m not giving you a damn summary.”
Tomorrow is your first "date" with the man and you barely knew him.
Your internalized frustration made him think you’re insatiably adorable. 
How the tables have turned. 
After all, [Wanderer] only responded with the same answer you had given him before.
In a forgotten history, ᎩᎧᏬ were the one that spouts spontaneous philosophical questions that led him into fits of unintelligible musings. [Wanderer] berated humanity for being sentimental creatures yet look at him now, proudly boasting the name ᎩᎧᏬ gave him wherever he went. It is by no means grander than a title like God of Everlasting Eternity or other such monikers, but when Godhood has stripped away from him, that name provided more solace than a seat in Celestia.
“The Puppet”, “Kunikuzushi”– such utterances are water under the bridge. Only [Wanderer] stays afloat, like a bubble on water. Maybe a bubble is only beautiful for a moment, yet that moment weighs more than a meaningless “eternity” and he knows this well…
[Wanderer] had been played by fate. Attaining freedom, independence, and a vision did not absolve what chokehold you had on his synthetic being. 
You're a colorful character, averaging about five meaningful papers per year– all the while considering yourself a "retired" genius. [Wanderer] would've been a kinder and forgiving person if you were his young and impressionable self's creator. He envied your patients, your strange collection of bunraku dolls, and the tenderness you reserve for them. 
He missed you, no matter how often you both fought. Your hums used to enchant him when you lull him asleep with aranara songs, but they now haunt him up at night. You were his puppet and he was your dictator until you had grown exhausted of foreign power enough that you abandoned your neutrality and revolted. 
But you did not revolt against him in this revision. Without a doubt, his revised “past” still mirrored the pain he caused, but through other means. He can’t say he had no regrets when he tampered with the Irminsul. Niwa’s death had less weight in this world, and for the wanderer, death without sanctification for a significant purpose is unnecessary homicide. And instead of helping Azar’s experiment, you became a “disobedient pet” who saw no need to collaborate with his superiority complex.
Yet, despite being such a disobedient pet– in his opinion, that’s a grave understatement–, he can’t help but cherish you.
The puppet missed the way his delusion marked your body. Fingerprint-like blotches collared your neck before, but when the slate was wiped clean, so too did his inflicted bruises. He missed the way you begged him to stop the pain. He missed the way you defended invisible creatures as “Queen Aranyani’s successor.” He missed the way you begged to keep the forest safe.
He missed the way you begged to be his.
But those marks are long gone– the symbol he carved on the nape of your neck had disappeared. You no longer had anything that resembled signs of his ownership.
Not only that, but seeing you wear eyeglasses– something you haven't before– fills him with anger.
The one saving grace from this situation was when this timeline confirmed that you wouldn’t help Azar if it wasn’t for [Wanderer]. You were interested in his personality and disposition as a puppet longing for a human heart, not just any of Dottore’s run-of-the-mill creations. That observation surely boosted his ego. 
Your opinions mattered to him most in that project. Admittedly, he craved everyone’s veneration, even when they lacked true understanding.
But you were the first mortal that made him appreciate his defects…
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"Is it so bad to live this way?" You combed his hair with your fingers. "Must you try your hand with such heresy?"
"Know your place," Scaramouche gritted his teeth. "You're nothing more than my maintenance worker- you do not deserve an audience."
"Be that as it may, future faux-god, can't you entertain me for just a moment? If I wasn't worried about you, I wouldn't be helping you with this damn treacherous experiment.
You ignored how he snarled at such a nickname, "it pains me to watch you lust for more power when you already boast an acceptable form. What is it that makes you so desperate? Is it because you can't hide the ball joints that connect your fingers and limbs?"
You continued while adjusting the tightness of his skeletal wrists.
"Is it so bad to live on as a defective being? Does imperfection invalidate a life's purpose? I only ask out of curiosity. I have imperfect ears, so does that make my life devoid of meaning?"
Scaramouche frowned, "do not compare your ears to my heart or lack thereof."
He didn't understand why his voice cracked. Scaramouche did not feel his usual temperament sizzling over but something heavy resided in his chest.
"Sorry."
"Don't apologize, I know you're not sorry," Scaramouche cupped your cheek, sporting an uncharacteristically loving smile.
"And your unapologetic behavior is what makes you my first sage."
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His first sage…
[Wanderer] laughed to himself.
His first sage would know that if he gained a heart, he would've seen the aranara you were talking to earlier.
But this is fine. He can start over again. 
This time, he’ll make you love him normally.
Heaven, please help the white wood that fell in love for it will never be human…
Out of the blue, Scaramouche spun and hurled three consecutive wind blades toward the woods with precision.
Be that as it may, the walking salt is surely more pathetic.
The “trees” grunted, but [Wanderer] did not miss the smell of salt-infused perfumes.
What a shame. 
The next Sumeru Festival, your “date”, is tomorrow, yet there will always be those who lurk in the shadows to see the mighty fall. 
"Pantalone…" 
The ex-sixth harbinger snarled with unfathomable familiarity. Which was the complete opposite of the ninth harbinger, who coldly greeted him like a new enemy. 
"Good afternoon, [Wanderer]."
Pantalone pulled out a gun from his hidden holster.
"No hard feelings, sir," the businessman smiled thinly. "I am but a simple man eliminating a love rival. You see, it’s not nice threatening to steal someone’s possession."
Scaramouche cackled.
How annoying. He never liked this friend of yours– he much preferred the one that planned a coup. Pantalone was not a coworker Scaramouche liked, much less a rival. This ambitious man was always a parasite, pretending to be worried while threatening to withhold project funding behind your back. Scaramouche will never forget how he boasted insolently that he had known you longer as if eternity wouldn't be enough to make up for it.
"You never change, mortal," he laughed even harder. "I knew something was off about (Y/n)'s glasses!"
"Hmm? Is that so?" Pantalone pushed them up closer– reminding Scaramouche that he’s no terrible shot. "How strange. In any case, I quite frankly don't care what you know or do not know."
He pulled the trigger as Scaramouche stomped his feet.
Only a few knew what occurred in Vanarana that day, but there was one thing the forest remembered.
Before either of them parted, a loud bang echoed that even deaf trees can't miss.
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You woke up from Araja’s house (which was the only comfortable place to sleep in Vanarana) after passing out from tumultuous loads of paperwork sent directly by the Baharak. She joked that at that point, maybe she had become a bad omen for you– and you confirmed her suspicions. The tasks the Acting Grand Sage laid out for you were taxing, if not, deleterious for your mental well-being, and worst of all–
He sent a notice that this would be your last week patrolling Vanarana.
When you spread the announcement, the aranaras were saddened by the news. Even Arabalika was unimpressed and asked if you can prolong your services. Alas, it can’t be refuted.
Noticing how tired you appeared, the village chief immediately commanded you to sleep while you pretended not to hear whispers of a surprise farewell party. Considering how the place looked positively empty this morning, you’d wager that they’re busy working on it.
But you do smell that someone’s cooking right now…
The enticing scent emanated from a large pot. As you sauntered closer, you noticed how Arasaka was tending to the food. The aranara gave you a friendly wave that you didn’t reciprocate. It’s rather chilly in Vanarana in the mornings– and the sleeves of your jacket were comfy. 
“Good morning, Nara (Y/n)!”
“Good morning, ‘Saka. That smells delicious,” you smiled bittersweetly.
“Hehe, really? Glad to hear it! One of Nara (Y/n)’s friends helped gather the ingredients. That Nara was good at hunting down prey!”
One of your friends…? You haven't introduced a lot of people to the aranaras. That can only mean it's either Baharak, Pantalone, or [Wanderer], and you can safely remove the first one since they're positively busy with guild matters. 
... Huh. But those two can't see aranaras. Does that mean they stole Pantalone or [Wanderer]'s game?
"Pfft..." You chortled. Yeah, imagining either of them getting confused as to why their hunted boar had gone missing feels like a sight to see.
You took the ladle from Arasaka’s hand and sipped the warm liquid.
“Oh, hey, this tastes pretty good!”
“Hehe, Arasaka is glad to hear you liked it! Nara taste buds are hard to please.”
You took another sip as Arasaka watched. The warm soup went down smoothly, but the aftertaste had a serpent-like bite to it. It tastes akin to red sorghums Pantalone would down whenever social drinking was inevitable. Your only critique was that it would’ve been a refreshing experience if there wasn’t a rocky object stuck between your teeth. You awkwardly picked it out.
… And saw a small hint of (wood/salt) between your fingers.
You stared at Arasaka.
Strange…
Something feels… off. 
This doesn't taste like happiness, it tastes like…
You shivered and yet the aranaras around you still had that same painted smile. 
 "Does Nara (Y/n) like the taste now? The taste of friendship?”
… Friendship?
No. That can’t be it.
The spoon splashed back into the bowl. You didn’t say a word, only stared at the boiling pot. You knelt, grabbing both handles to gaze upon the bubbling red liquid. With trembling hands, you picked the spoon back up and swirled the contents. Nothing was of note–
Until you scooped something from the very bottom and found thick strands of dark hair.
A very familiar strand of dark hair.
You adjusted your glasses in an attempt to find out where this human hair came from–
“Nara (Y/n) likes the scent of (wood/salt) Nara so my sisters added him in!” Arasaka innocently cheered.
Your heart dropped.
You turned pale– gagging.
No. It can't be.
Did you just eat…
“So, Nara (Y/n)– does our cooking taste bland now?”
… “him”?
“Oh, Nara (Y/n)’s friend is approaching! Don’t forget to thank him for the food!”
1K notes · View notes
branwinged · 2 months
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jonelias is incredibly thematically compelling to me because of their character trajectories. like it starts out as twisted nbc hannibal season 1 psychological horror "you wouldn't put a guy in situations" wherein elias runs his lab rat i mean jon through the archivist trauma punch card machine ("wind him up and watch him go") and every day is tortured gothic horror protagonist day for him but he doesn't quite get it yet. and then season 3 happens and jon's a little further in the beholding's grasp and he's experiencing physiological changes which only elias understands and now we're in vampirism metaphor territory, he turned you into a monster but he's the only one who will offer you the absolution you seek! ("elias, am i still human?") murderer mentor maker!!! and you hate him you HATE him but *will graham voice* where else would i go?
and then season 4 happens and audio recording by jonathan sims, the Archivist. point of no return. he's extracting statements. he's feeding. he's unwittingly channelling elias ("you just need... a break.") he's scaring everyone at the institute, but doesn't it feel a tiny bit good after having been powerless and at the mercy of all these other avatars for so long? and even then the only person in the whole world he can turn to for advise is elias because they're alike. they're mirrors. they were similar even before the beholding had its hold on jon, because to be avatars of the eye is to hold a shared, unabating curiosity for knowledge and both of them sought it out to protect themselves from the fears. why else would jon end up at the magnus institute if not for a guest for mr spider.
then there's the panopticon reveal and turns out jon was trapped in a bluebeard narrative all along! but bluebeard's just won. jon took the key and opened the door and found his secret but he's not simply another victim, being bluebeard's final wife means narratively distinguishing yourself from the ones that came before and he does. he's the special one, he's the archive. and jonah/elias says he did everything to free himself from pain and death forever, to free them both from it all forever. and he says "don't worry, jon. you'll get used to it here. in the world that we have made."
and then. power dynamic reversal‼️now season 5 fumbled this badly but listen. the monster you created is coming down to hunt you for sport. the thing you created to escape annihilation is also the very thing that can end you at any given moment. "behold a god more powerful than i who comes to rule over me." and then it's "suffer for me, as i suffered for you." and eventually they play out some equivalent of tackling each other off a cliff hannigram style. or dead ringers 1988. because they're doubles they're mirrors they're shadow selves they're the watcher and the archivist. conjoined. and one cannot exist without the other :)
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chaotic-iguana · 1 year
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Sleep
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Summary: Reader suffers from lack of sleep, caused by a recent event. As she continues to overwork herself, she reaches her breaking point with near disastrous results. Starring concerned!steve murphy, chaotic idiot!steve murphy and clueless!reader. javi has my fucking heart though.
Pairing: Javier Peña x reader (no use of y/n though)
Rating: M
Wordcount: 2.2k 
Warnings: fluff, mild angst, sort of a panic attack, mild MILD allusions to someone being creepy (not javi though), mild flirting, humour, lots of swearing sorry
this is my first fic - let me know your thoughts! check me out on ao3
masterlist.
“I swear to fucking god Murphy, if you don’t stop bouncing your leg against the table, I’m slamming your head right into it” is the gospel that flows out of your mouth at 7 am on a Monday morning. Feels like it’s gonna be a great week.
“The hell did I do? You’d think Connie’s cookies would be enough to get you animals off my back, but no, first sign of any damn fire an’ the first person you’d throw in?” Steve huffs. “Murphy”, he repeats mockingly. You scoff and roll your eyes at him, clenching and unclenching your fists in an attempt to talk yourself down from strangling the idiot situated two feet to your left before turning back to the paperwork in front of you. The one-foot-tall, monster stack of paperwork. Right. In. Front. Of. You. And would the golden boys ever do it themselves? If they ever got a moment’s relief from jacking each other off during missions (or however the hell they manage to fumble practically every single little op), maybe. But most of the time, you were stuck with it. Because god forbid the two princesses you were partnered with ever had to so much as lift a pen themselves. Hell would freeze over.
And it isn’t like you mind. At all, really. Half your job is the paperwork, and you’re happy to get it in order - if only to avoid Noonan’s wrath. Besides, what good is an agent if they can’t do their fucking job? In its entirety; not the half-assed shit most of the men did around the embassy. But a single glimpse of yourself in the mirror while rushing to leave the house revealed that these past few weeks of skipping lunch breaks, going home late, and taking files home to work on have been catching up with you - sunken, bloodshot eyes, cracked lips, and bruises smudged under your eyes now, perpetually, since the nightmares had started. Anything to keep you busy, right?
Another aggravating side effect of the amount of work you had taken on apart from the usual? The constant irritation. Marlene’s new nails, Katie’s suspicious last lay, the stupid fucking demon alarm clock that never quite managed to wake you up, the busted tire, the broken coffee machine, Dave from accounting’s downright idiotic whistling, your pen running out of ink, and finally - Murphy’s bouncing knee banging the table every fucking millisecond, practically in tune with the pounding ache beginning to form between your brows. If you were a better person, you’d let these things go. Such is life, right? But since the lack of sleep, the increased workload and general mishappenings had already created this beautiful trifecta of shit just to screw you over, better people could go fuck themselves. As could Murphy. “Don’t use your wife’s cooking as an excuse. I’m telling you, make another sound and die.” you spit out, whirling in your chair because the incessant fucking banging still hasn’t stopped - just in time to catch Peña sauntering in, already smirking.
“Already nailing Murphy’s balls, cariño? Careful, I’ll fall in love, baby.” You can hear the laughter in his crooning voice as he throws it over his shoulder - but you don’t care - can’t care, beyond the spots that seem to be forming at the edges of your vision. Were your fingers always a bit tingly? Or is that a new development, like your tongue suddenly feeling thick and heavy in your mouth, like you’re choking on it? But even though your thoughts feel slow and weighed down by molasses, rage sparks brighter in your mind as Peña’s flirty nicknames and bullshit teasing registers. You push away from your desk, and shoot up from the chair, striding towards the door to get some air - or you try to - because before you know it, your vision is blinded by white and you’re breathing quick, shallow breaths as you lay on the ground trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. Distantly, you can hear someone calling your name but it sounds so far away you barely even register it. Hands wrap around your wrist, your head, attempting to stabilize you, to ground you, as you flail wildly in a panic. A low hum begins to fill your senses, forming words that sound to fuzzy to understand or care about right now, but you lean into it, something in your being telling you it’s safe.
When your sight clears, you’re curled up on the on the floor trembling. Shaking, like a scared fucking child, while Peña kneels to hold you to his chest, repeating the same few phrases over and over: “You’re okay, it’s okay hermosa. You’re safe. Safe. No ones gonna hurt you, it’s over now, okay?” as Murphy stands next to him, watching with panic and a hint of sympathy in his gaze. You scramble away from them both, panting, nearly slipping in your effort to get to your feet. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, pretty. You’re okay” Peña repeats his assurances with his hands held out, palms facing you, as you stand on wobbling knees, wiping at your face.
“‘M fine” is all you whisper to them hoarsely before ducking your head and rushing out of the pathetically cramped room you three work in. You can hear footsteps behind you, but can’t find it in you to turn around - not even at the panicked sounds of your name being called by a familiar voice. You’re making a scene, you know it, but you don’t care. It’s all too much, and you’re too far gone. Reaching the parking lot, you struggle to unlock your car as your trembling fingers drop the keys twice. Swearing, you resolve and pick them up again, pressing them and reaching for the door. But just before your fingers find the handle another hand - much, much larger than yours - splays out on the window to stop you, just as Peña’s signature bedhead comes into view. He looks at you with wide, concerned eyes, his mouth tucked low at the corners, like he’s disappointed. You want to melt, you do, because the melting pot of emotions you have for him make you preen at his worry - but your usual defense mechanisms humble you. And so you sharpen your claws, flash your fangs, and the hackles raise again, leaving a “What, Peña?” to come tumbling out in a tone so sharp it makes you flinch. HIs frown just deepens as his gaze rakes over your form frantically, as if checking for injury. He says nothing, pursing his lips further before snatching your wrist and tugging you behind him as he stalks to his car, opening the side door. You raise a brow at him, and he counters by jerking his head towards the car, scowling slightly. You get in, slightly confused, and wait for him to walk around and get into the drivers seat. “What the fuck, Peña? I just fainted, I’m not senile. And I don’t give a shit how mad you are, you can’t just-just drag me to your car and f-force me to get in. The fuck are you playing at?” you begin to ramble, fury somehow still rising at a dizzying speed. Peña doesn’t respond, just starts driving while looking straight ahead while you continue fumbling over a panicked rant so pathetic it sounds nonsensical to your own ears. “…And what? You just enjoy calling me s-stupid nicknames? You think it’s cute to flirt with me while I’m- while I pass out?” This one makes his nostrils flare, eyes darkening a bit while his jaw tightens just for a second before letting go. You pause for a second, getting your breath while your hands still shake in your lap. “I’m fine, it’s fine. Can I just go home please? I’ve already done the month’s paperwork for all the ops we have planned, and you can just give me the rest post-op. I’m just a bit under the weather, I just need to lie down for a bit.” you start trying to reason, but the stubborn ass just keeps driving, and alarm starts bubbling in your chest again. You look down to your lap while you fiddle with your thumbs, willing to control the irrational fear yelling at you that something’s wrong every second Peña chooses to stay silent.
“Think I was flirting with you while you passed out? Y’think I don’t see it, you working yourself to the fucking bone? Think I can’t see how you’ve stopped eating, honey? Stopped laughing like you used to? Think I don’t know how late you’ve starting going home? As ‘f I’ll ever stop waitin’ for ya to clock out first so I know you’re home okay, baby. You gotta tell me what’s wrong - this is eatin’ you up.“
Peña’s tone softens, but his harsh whisper makes you turn your head to look at him. He sounds so…tortured, as if he’s the one suffering. He glances your way, locking eyes with you for a second before turning his head back to the road. You sit there and practically gape at him, your jaw slack as your head whirls. Peña knows? No, wait, he waits? For you to go home so you’re safe? He cares? What the fuck? Confused, all that comes out of your mouth is a mighty elegant open-mouthed “huh?” before you blink at him, waiting for him to continue.
“You gotta know by now, sweetheart. Gotta see how I’ve been lookin’ at you. You’re the smartest fuckin’ agent I’ve seen, with the balls to take down men I’d sweat to be ‘n the same room with. You swear like a sailor, an’ make me laugh till I’m chokin’ on my own damn cigarette. Tell me what’s hurtin’ you, honey. I can’t promise I’ll fix it, but I can swear to you I’ll damn well try my best.” He responds, turning to hold your gaze as his own eyes widen, and his brows turn down. Puppy eyes, you think. 
Your brain has gone from hazy to too fucking clear in a matter of five minutes, and now it feels like your thoughts are gonna come ripping out of your head. So you just blink at him, again, before reaching an unsteady hand out to cup his cheek. “I’m okay, I swear. Just-you remember that deal I had to cut last month? With the sicario? For intel on that lab?” Peña nods, and you continue. “Fucker led me to a dead end. Ambushed me. O-only got out ‘cause his gun jammed, and his child-soldier ran away. I just-this is so fucking dumb I’ve been in worse but- I can’t get it out of my head. The shit he said to me, the way he looked at me, t-touched me. I should be dead or worse, Peña. And I nearly was.“ you look down again, ashamed of the truth that’s spilling out of your mouth. It’s so small, so weak, you just want to fold into yourself and never come out. Your voice wobbles towards the end, tears filling your eyes as you turn your head away from the man you’ve wanted for so long to save whatever dignity you still have left. “‘N I can’t sleep anymore. Just see- or feel him every time. So thought I’d work for a bit. Clearly didn’t fucking work out, though.” small hiccups have started to punctuate your words, testament to the tears now flowing down your cheeks. Peña pulls up to an unfamiliar building and turns to you.
“‘S Javi, honey. Look at me, pretty baby.” He cradles your chin between his thumb and his forefinger to turn your head towards him. “None of that was stupid, okay? Come lie down at my place. I’ll sit in a damn chair next to you and fight him away if he comes in your dreams, sweetheart, okay? Nothin’ to be ‘fraid of. Never letting any fuckers near you again.” Javi leans in to brush a kiss to your forehead before stepping out of the car and hooking his index and middle finger to beckon you too. You step out of the truck and towards him, smiling while swiping at your face. “Didn’t know this was what the girls meant every time they bragged about sleeping with you” you snark softly, with a teasing grin on your face as you reach him. Javi rolls his eyes playfully before unlocking the door.
“Ain’t gotta do no sleepin’ you don’t want to, honey. You’re here to get some rest. Be a good girl and sleep f’me, and I’ll keep you up for as long as you like after,” he  throws over his shoulder with a matching grin and a wink.
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jaegeraether · 14 days
Text
Sunsets and footballers (Part 88)
Alexia Putellas x Character (44)
Masterlist (other parts here)
((2.2k)) - Just a lil one tonight!
Due to popular demand, I'm going to post a chapter bi-weekly, every Thursday and Sunday night until we hit Part 100!
ALEXIA POV
Ridley opened her mouth and Alexia cut her off. “Don’t you lie to me.”
Her mouth shut and her jaw locked. While she pondered what to say, Alexia grabbed whatever napkins she could and pressed it into her leg to soak up the blood. To her credit, Ridley didn’t flinch. It wasn’t bleeding too badly, but she did need to fix a few stitches. Alexia ran down the line of blood following her leg, cleaning it. She scrunched up the bloody napkins and looked at Ridley who was fighting with herself.
“Someone bad.” Surely she didn’t think that was enough? Alexia gave her a stern look. Ridley sighed. “Someone here to kill me.”
It was confronting, even being an answer she’d expected. She’d noticed how she was tense almost since the moment their food arrived.
Ridley’s eyes flickered away and back. Usually, Alexia wouldn’t care what she was looking at. Right now, though, she did. She turned to see a black car pull around the back of the café.
If Ridley wasn’t going to tell her, she’d find out for herself. Alexia made a move to stand and Ridley’s hand caught her arm, her eyes intensely meeting her own.
“Don’t.” She almost winced at the harshness in which she said the word herself, as she grabbed her arm. She didn’t like telling her what to do, and it was fair enough as Alexia didn’t take being told what to do well. They shared a look and her hand softened, her thumb stroking Alexia’s arm. “Don’t.” This time is was softer, almost pleading.
Alexia couldn’t help but turn back towards the side of the café where the car had disappeared behind. Ridley’s hand left her arm and moved to her face, her jaw lightly taken between her four fingers and thumb as she gently turned it back to her. “Ask me anything, and I’ll answer it.”
Her eyes moved to Alexia’s lips and back, which in turn made the footballer feel a warm and fuzzy feeling she tried to hide. This was serious.
“The man here to kill you. Is he dead?”
“Yes.” She whispered as Alexia’s stomach turned.
Chiquito leapt up onto her lap, as if knowing she needed him. She unknowingly leant into Ridley’s fingers, which were still there, and still comforting, even with the knowledge of what they’d just done.
“Did you kill him?”
“Yes.” The Australian responded quietly again, as if worried the words themselves would scare her away. Her dark, aware eyes searched for any discomfort in her own, and honestly even if there was, it was melted away by her presence alone.
“Who is in the car?”
Ridley’s eyes flicked to Alexia’s bottom lip as her thumb stroked across it. She soaked it in, watching the way it moved as if she were worried it would be her last chance to do so.
Just as Alexia moved to press into her hand again, it was gone, leaving her skin cold where it had been. She put her hands on Chiquito, petting him to make up for the absence that was Ridley’s body on hers.
“They’re called the Pa Wai Airborne. They’re the Thai special forces.”
She hadn’t expected that.
“How did they know…?” She trailed off as she thought. Their phones were in the bag. How had she contacted them? Told them where to find the body? How had they gotten here so quickly?
“Because we’re under their protection in their country.” She was still studying Alexia’s responses, which she liked but was too frustrated to admit. Ridley continued. “The man in the blue shirt….the one with the camera…the one at the vending machine…”
Alexia clocked them as she described them. “They’re all…?”
Ridley nodded. Her eyes widened.
“Then why did you have to?” She gestured to the back of the building with her chin and she stroked through Chiquito’s soft grey fur.
“There were two operatives down for too long. I didn’t like it.”
“Are they okay?”
“One is dead. The other will be okay if they clamp his artery in time.”
They’ve been around us the entire time? She wondered.
“Yes. They have.” She turned to Ridley, not knowing she’d said it aloud. And then she answered her next thought also. “Including at the festival.”
“The woman with the drinks?” She’d seen her and a spike of jealously had torn through the usually composed Spaniard, at just how pretty she was, and how much chemistry she’d had with Ridley.
She shook her head and Alexia felt her body stiffen further. “She’s one of my team.”
The way she said it was special. She was special to her.
“Your team was there? Who are they?”
“We need to start moving, Lex. I don’t want us to stay here for longer than we have to.”
Ridley stood, and Alexia followed suit automatically, with Chiquito climbing up onto her shoulder for a good view. She now found herself more aware of their surroundings than ever. Her head on a swivel like Ridley’s usually was. Though, it wasn’t because she felt unsafe, but rather, she was curious.
They moved towards the taxi they’d been in before, and as they slid in the back, Ridley spoke to the man in English.
“How is he?”
She was confused until the response came.
“He’s stable.”
He was one of them also?! Her shocked expression was caught by the Australian. She’d purposely asked him so that Alexia would know who he was. She answered her earlier question.
“You asked about my team? Duce, the woman, was there along with Becks, who commands the group. Fuzzy is another, you’ve heard me say his name. We’ll see him when we drop off Sash’s Grumman. Wombat is the other, though I won’t be letting you around him anytime soon.”
Was he crazy? Or damaged like Sash?
“He won’t flirt with you, because you’re mine, but he’ll make it very obvious that he wants to. Can’t control his dick, that one.”
She didn’t know what to think about first. The abrasiveness to which she described her friend or the possessive ‘you’re mine.’
She looked out of the window of cab and saw the people Ridley had described earlier, moving to follow.
“If they weren’t so concerned about the current situation, you’d never know they were there.”
Ridley’s words sent a shiver up her spine. This was an entire other world she’d never considered before.
“And when we get back to Spain?”
“The Green Berets are some of the best in the world.”
“My family…?”
Ridley looked at her sympathetically. “They’re being watched. And Blue. And Lucy. And…” she reached out to touch her cheek softly. “…if you don't want me around, they will continue to look after you. Regardless of if I’m there or not.”
She was giving Alexia an escape.. and one that she didn’t want, nor need. If only she just started to be fucking honest with her.
They spoke a little more before arriving at a local market to stock up on food. She loved this. The natural feel of it. She was able to be a human being, and walk around completely unrecognised by the general public. Life would be like that with Ridley, and she knew it. She’d make sure to take her to places where she could get away and relax without worrying about paparazzi or a fan taking a photo of her.
They stocked up two eskies and met up with their ‘taxi driver’ who took them back to the jetty. Ridley loaded it onboard and talked Alexia through the take off.
The flight wasn’t long, but it was silent. She was uncomfortable with the dishonesty. Actually, the fact that she hadn’t been dishonest, and had stuck to her word, but still, somehow, found a workaround by simply not telling her things happening around them.
An hour later, Alexia found herself in their little slice of heaven, Chiquito padding down the shoreline as she stood in the sand with the water up to her ankles.
Ridley came to join her after leaving her for a few minutes.
She paused at the Spaniard and reached down to touch the smiling sun on the necklace she’d given her.
“Happiness, remember?”
“Not everything can be perfect all the time, Ridley.”
Ridley winced at Alexia using her full name, retracting her hand. Alexia immediately felt guilty.
“Tell me what’s not perfect?”
“Why? So you can fix our life issues and not tell me about it?”
She understood now.
“Alexia-”
“Do you think I don’t know what’s happening? Do you think I don’t have eyes? Football may be nothing compared to what you’ve seen and done, but still, give me some credit. I’m a fucking midfielder. I see everything.”
“Lex-”
“I see that you’re trying. That you’re opening to me. But still, you’re hiding things. I’m always just waiting for you to let me in, and that doesn’t mean simply answering a few questions, Ridley. I need everything. All of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. Fucking everything.”
Ridley inhaled a sharp breath and her dark eyes which were now lighter with the sun hitting them, darkened as her pupils dilated.
“My family is in danger? You tell me. We’re being watched? You tell me. You think I don’t understand that you’re struggling between being open with me, promising to stay, and then feeling guilty at the situation you’ve put me and my family? I can see it in your face, because I know you.” She took a step forward which meant tilting her head slightly further up to keep her eyes. “I know you, and this entire time, I’ve been waiting, hoping for you to just let me into that fucking… fucking fortress you’ve built around yourself. Blue told me to be gentle with you, and I have been. I’ve been as gentle as I can while grasping onto my own pride. I feel like I’ve been clawing onto it since I first saw you at Javier’s. You think you’re the only one out of the pair of us who has wondered if this is just an infatuation?” She stepped forwards again, making Ridley step backwards once, twice, until the back of her legs hit the dinghy and she dropped onto the edge of it. Alexia looked down at her. “A sexual chemistry? A simple crush because of the names we’ve made for ourselves? How this could possibly work when we’re both so dominant? If neither one of us wants to carry children? If we’re going to barely see each other with our jobs? Well, I have. I’ve thought about all of it. And I’ll tell you right now that I don’t care what you’ve done, or what you’ve been through, Ridley. I want you. Not a tiny piece. Not a version of you. I want ALL of you.” She dug around in her bag for the piece of paper which had quickly become the most precious thing to her over the past few days. She found it and withdrew it from her bag, holding it up. Ridley’s eyes widened and for a split second, she simultaneously relished the knowledge she’d surprised her and felt guilty at the look on her face. “I want the Ridley who wrote this, because she…she is my person.”
The Australian stared at the piece of paper in her hand. The one that looked as if she’d written it on the plane as she’d poured out the emotions she’d never said aloud to her.
Alexia held it up and began to read. “To whom it may concern, this is the final correspondence of a member of the Australian Defence Force lost during active duty-”
Ridley stood, grabbing at her wrist. She misunderstood and thought she was going for the note.
“It’s mine!” She reacted before realising that she’d made a mistake. Ridley’s face was so close, they were almost touching. Softer, she whispered. “It’s mine…”
“Lex…”
“Lee,” she breathed.
One second, they were staring into each other. The next, their lips were crashing together, Ridley’s hands on her body, pulling her flush against her. Alexia extended her note hand over her shoulder, protecting it while her other buried itself in that dark, shaggy hair of hers, gripping tightly and never wanting to let go.
She moaned into her mouth, their tongues meeting and it felt like not only love, but trust.
Ridley broke away first.
“You want all of me?”
Their mouths found each other again.
“I…want…everything…” she managed to get out between Ridley’s mouth desperately moving on hers, echoing the emotions inside of her.
Ridley broke it off again, though with their foreheads pressed against one another, and the Australian tightly holding their bodies flush together.
They regained their breath like that. Eventually, Alexia pulled away and took her by the wrist, walking backwards, toward their hut.
Ridley followed, a question in her eyes.
“All of you…” Alexia murmured.
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ohtobeleah · 2 years
Note
Iris sends Hangman (Deadman) sexy pictures when she knows he’s with Maverick.
ANON!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS CONCEPT DID TO ME!? I DIED OF DEATH.
I.R.I.S Masterlist
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Picture it with me guys. PICTURE IT. Jakes on his lunch break. He’s enjoying the nice sandwich he’d made himself because if he had to eat another protein bar from the vending machine because he snoozed his alarm for just a little too long, he’d have a mental breakdown. They sucked ass. 
“You coming to the Hard Deck after?” Phoenix was asking. She’d begun to grow a little suspicious of Jake and his sudden disinterest in the copious amount of badge bunnies that seemed to hurl themselves at him on any given night.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll be there—“ Jake replied with a massive mouthful of his sandwich. He obnoxiously overchewed just to annoy Natasha. 
“I think you’re beating yourself up about this a little too much Mav.” Bob smiled as he walked with Pete into the rec room. “These kids, they’re lethal weapons.” 
“Yeah, there’s literally guys in Fanboys advanced weapons systems lecture right now with callsigns like Mayhem and Chaos.” Rooster added. “So what if Iris got the drop on you old man? It was bound to happen.” It was the talk of Miramar, Y/n Iris Mitchell, only female TopGun student for this class, had gotten tone on her own dad, Captain Pete Maverick Mitchell in a basic Dogfighting maneuvers exercise.. “After all, she is the fruit of your loins.”
“Fruit of Mavs loins is still doing push-ups.” Payback chuckled as he looked out the window. “Can’t believe you have the only person that managed to get tone on your old ass doing push ups through her lunch.” 
Maverick just groaned as he sat beside Jake on the lounge across from Phoenix. 
“She won’t show off next time.” 
“Sore loser—“ Jake chuckled. 
“Don’t you have an ACM scheduled to teach after this? I wouldn’t speak so soon, Hangman—she might blow you out of the sky too.” 
“Imma pair her with P:E, she’ll be so busy watching his ass that she won’t be able to keep an eye on mine.” P.E. – Premature Ejection – pressed the ejection switch in an aircraft while it was still on the runway. How the hell that guy ended up in the top one percent Jake would never understand. “Plus, I’m a hell of a lot faster than you these days, pops.” Just as Jake is razzing on Maverick, his phone is buzzing on the armrest in the lounge. Unbeknownst to Jake, only seconds after Payback had said you were still doing push-ups on the tarmac, you’d been let go. You’d charmed Hondo into thinking you were actually a glutton for punishment and he got bored. 
Jake could’ve sworn he forgot how to breathe when he saw your name pop up on his lock screen, it was his fault really—he should have had the message previews turned on. But he didn’t. He walked right into your web. 
“Who’s texting you? All your friends are here?” Mav taunted as Jake shot him a look. 
“Do you even know how to text?” Jake snickered, swiping his thumb up the screen as his Face ID unlocked his phone. As Jake took another bite of his sandwich, he choked and coughed and splattered about in shock horror. “Fuck—“ Jake had never panicked so immediately before in his life. “Jesus Christ—“
There you were on full display, standing in front of your full length mirror, little emerald green set of lingerie on, obviously a pre taken, premeditated picture because you were just doing pushups out on the fucking tarmac. 
You were standing so close to the mirror that Jake could see your perfect nipples through the lace of the lingerie. You skin looked silky smooth and the hume of the dim lamp radiating behind you told Jake you took this last night when you decided on a night in. If he looked closely he could see the strategically placed vibrator on your bed and the not so inconspicuous H_NGM_N you’d written in the corner of your mirror. 
You were so hot it was a joke at this point.
“Here’s the deal, I get you on tone? you fuck me dumb, you get me on tone? I’ll do that thing with my thumb I know you like.” 
Jake locked his phone as quickly as he could, but he knew Mav had seen it over his shoulder. Holy shit. This was it wasn’t it? 
“What the hell's wrong with you?” Phoenix frowned as Jake coughed up his lunch, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 
“I’m fine, I’m fine—“ Jakes in denial as he catches his breath. He’s red in the face and he feels like he’s got fire radiating in his lungs. “I’m good.” He’s not good, he’s got a raging hard on and anger rushing through his veins. 
“He just got sent nude.” Mav chuckled. “That’s what they’re called these days right?” Pete had for a split second seen the photo, until he averted his gaze. Not realising it was you, his own flesh and blood. “Or have I missed something?” He asked with a questioning tone.
“Nah nah, you got it Mav—“ Bradley bit his tongue, shooting Jake a glare. “You’re not missing anything, well done, good job on the lingo man, gold star.” 
There’s a ruckus coming from up the hall, Bob's curiosity gets the better of him when he sticks his head out into the corridor. 
“Looks like Rebound and Krod are at it again.” That was enough to get the attention off of Jake and on the two aviators blowing up in the hall. Mav was on his feet in seconds, Jake was unlocking his phone to text you back to meet him by B Hanger. 
“Your dad was literally sitting right fucking next to me!!” By your reply alone and the smirk that plastered itself across your face Jake knew you were out to get him in trouble. There was no way you weren’t doing this on purpose now. You enjoyed the rush too much. “He could’ve killed me then and there Iris!? The fuck are you trying to do here?”
“And somehow you’re still breathing?” 
“Don’t you ever pull that shit again? Do you hear me, Lieutenant Mitchell?” 
“Is that an order?” You asked, reaching down to cup Jake's raging erection through his flight suit. “Because there’s a lot more where that came from.” You whispered in Jake's ear as you stood on the tips of your work issued boots. “I would’ve taken some in my red set but I left the panties at your place.” 
“Shame, I really like you in red.” Jake's voice hitched in his throat as you palmed him ever so discreetly. “Like you a hell of a lot better in nothing at all though.” 
“So do you accept my proposal?” You asked softly, pulling back from Jake as you left him harder and throbbing. 
“Nope—“ Jake replied, grabbing you by the forearm as he spun you around, pressed you up against the side of the hanger and kicked your feet apart enough that he had inches on you. “I’m gonna fuck you dumb regardless of who gets tone on who.” Jake smiled, sucking a mark into the supple skin of your neck as he ducked down. “Because that’s what you want me to do don’t you? Daddies little girl, fucked dumb.” Your mother used to tell you something growing up as a kid when you’d ask why she never married Pete. Her response was always different and age appropriate, but the sentiment was always the same.
You fuck dumb, you don’t marry dumb.
Jake left a mark so dark and angry in his wake that it was very much noticeable when you returned for Jake’s theory assessment a little over twenty minutes later. 
“Lieutenant Mitchell?” Jake called you out as you sat writing down what he’d just said. “Is that some sort of bruise on your neck?” 
“Oh damn Iris where’d you get that?” Trash asked as he peeled your collar back, getting a better look at it. You just rolled your eyes, annoyed Jake would stoop so low. But then again, you deserved it. 
“Your mum gave it to me when I was busy fucking her last night, White.” You replied, to which the other pilots responded in an uproar. Jake just smirked to himself when you sent him a wink. Smiling back. 
Hangman felt his heart skip a beat as you did so. Feeling a warmth radiate in his chest he'd never felt before.
Fuck.
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