#and nothing it says in that explanation is wrong. but i think it's a garbage way of explaining it

[whywalkwhenyoucanride]

do you want to be correct or do you want to help?

[onlyquinns]

could you pretty please do Quinn x soccer player reader who doesn’t get selected for the national team roster? He’s just comforting and sweet

you’re practically teeming with excitement when the notification comes in, just the sound of your phone dinging with a new email lighting up your entire face. you barely skim the subject line before the notification is gone, silently flashing away from your screen in an instant.

quinn sits next to you on the couch, arm draped over the backside of it. “what’s up?” he asks when you stand up and run to grab your laptop.

“it’s the email!” you exclaim, pulling your laptop free of its bag. quinn’s brows furrow but he doesn’t say anything as you settle back down next to him.

he nods and pretends to understand your explanation, amusement written on his face as you open your inbox. it’s flooded with messages—mostly garbage and subscriptions to online stores—but the most important one sits at the top. he reads the title quickly, canada national soccer roster, and understands your excitement.

quinn leans closer to you, and you grin up at him. “c’mon, baby,” he urges. “let’s see!”

you squeal, “i’m nervous!” you cry out, pushing your laptop into his lap. “you do it!” quinn laughs and easily palms the device, clicking open the email. “what’s it say!” you squeal, eyes covered with your palms, fingers spread to take a quick peak.

a frown takes over quinn’s features. we regret to inform you…

“baby, why don’t you take a few breaths, yeah—?” quinn starts in an attempt to get your hopes lowered just a tad, but you interrupt him and snatch the laptop back, your eager eyes reading the contents of the email.

quinn’s heart breaks at the sight of your bright eyes growing dimmer and dimmer until a single tear rolls down your cheek, followed by another until you’re fully sobbing next to him. the sound of you hiccuping and wailing makes his already broken heart shatter even more. he thinks of himself years ago when he had failed to be picked for the nhl draft at 18, how devastated he’d been—how devastated you must be feeling.

you look at quinn through teary eyes, fingers wiping furiously at the tears that continue to fall. “what did i do wrong?” you whimper. “i thought… i thought i was good enough—i trained so, so hard…”

quinn wraps his arms around you, laptop now closed and placed on his other side. he rubs your back, palm smoothing up and down as he tucks your head under his chin.

“i know, baby,” he murmurs, lips brushing soft kisses to your hair.

you cling to his shirt, dampening the cotton with snot and tears. “what did i do wrong?” you wail again, voice cracking.

“you did nothing wrong, sweetheart,” he reassures, “i know how much time and effort you put into this—they’re just assholes who don’t see that. you’re so fucking talented, baby, best soccer player i’ve ever seen.”

and he’s fully right; you have the bruises to prove how dedicated you are to the sport, how much time you were willing to put into it.

quinn continues to soothe you, hand rubbing shapes into your back and lips pressing kisses to the top of your head as you sob.

“it’ll be okay, baby, i promise,” he murmurs over and over. “it’ll be okay.”

[customboytoyz]

You know what, now that I think of it with that “monsters other than werewolves” ask I sent months ago I didn’t give possessed by a demon that makes you take hrt enough development.

Like imagine a social media influencer. She’s pretty, but not the scalpel-enhanced doll-pretty of the most popular on her website of choice. She doesn’t have the money for that, she’s never had the money for that, but what she does have is her grandfather’s grimoire. Despite all she’s clawed and scraped and kicked down ladders to get where she is, she does still have a soul and she’s willing to trade it for the perfect body.

She’s shocked when the demon tells her he doesn’t want it. Instead he holds up a single clawed finger.

“You have good bones, but I’ll need significant time to make the necessary adjustments. I want one year in full control of your body.”

She blinks at that, one year with a monster steering her around. She decides he’s probably some fucking pervert and shrugs. A year of ogling her own tits would be worth it if she hits 1 million by the end of it.

“Fine,” she agrees. “One year.”

As they shake on it, he melts into her skin and she begins her year as a passenger.

The demon begins a daily course of injections. Some glowing red shit she doesn’t figure would have any earthly counter part. He keeps posting to maintain her online presence. Lots of shots of them drinking pre work out, going to the gym. She hadn’t been a wellness influencer beforehand but she guessed it was fine, they were getting a decent amount of engagement. She tells the demon to lay off the creatine she doesn’t want to get too bulked up but he always just laughs and insists in her voice that he knows what he’s doing.

The panic hasn’t set in quite yet, that only comes when she helplessly watches her own thumb hover over the edit button of her bio.

“What are you doing?”

The demon clicks it. Removes her carefully crafted bio and replaces it with “need some time to think. Taking hiatus” before replacing her profile pic with a blank red circle and her screen name with a single period.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I’m moving to the next stage. We want them to think this was surgical not supernatural.” He says flatly. Tossing her phone on the couch as he finishes. She can’t help but notice her voice is huskier than it used to be. The explanation makes sense but she can’t help but feel like something’s wrong.

Even without being online they still go to the gym. They’re starting to get more and more stares. Looking at herself in the mirror as the demon exercises she can’t help but notice that her jawline has gotten sharper. Her cheek bones more prominent. It gives her hope. She’s going to look fucking snatched.

After the gym she watches him order a pair of clippers online.

“What are you planning to do with those.”

“Your hair is too damaged to work with properly.”

She desperately tries to wrench back control of her body.

“You’re going to make me bald?!”

“That’s part of why you’re going on hiatus. I’m giving you time to grow it back.” He assures her. Still she fights him every single day to no avail until the clippers come.

He sheers all of her hair off as if it’s nothing. It becomes nothing. Just a pile on the cut open garbage bag he had been using as a make shift tarp. He runs her hand over the remaining bristles and she wretches uncontrollably.

“Don’t be a baby,” he sneers. Her voice is definitely deeper.

He begins upping their dose to two injections per day and the changes start to become more radical, but he refuses to let her see. He begins covering every single mirror in her house and working out there to avoid her catching a glimpse in the gym mirrors. But even if she can’t see it she can still tell. At night she feels it as she lies awake but paralyzed. Her shoulders cracking, her ribs aching, the sharp pain in her shins. During the day she starts sleeping more often while the demon moves about. It’s easier to sleep when she isn’t in pain.

One day he walks them over to a mirror and wakes her up. She hardly has time to shake the rest from her mind before he whips the cover off. She doesn’t recognize what she sees until the figure in the mirror shifts the way her hand shifts gently turning his face so that she can see. She stumbles back and the demon lets her, ceding control. She’s grown strong lean muscles that complement her broad frame, her jawline is sharp and darkened with five o’clock shadow, her short dark hair is neatly combed away from her face, framing her harsh brow and piercing eyes, her breasts are completely gone. If she saw herself on tinder she’d say she had the perfect body, but the face in the mirror makes her scream.

It’s suddenly cut off as the demon takes back control. He stands, picks up her phone, takes a new profile picture and types up a new bio.

“What do you want your new user name to be?”

“FUCK YOU!!!”

He shrugs and types something new in himself, before drafting an announcement post.

“CHANGE ME BACK RIGHT NOW!”

“I can’t do that.” He answers calmly continuing to type. “I’m not done making your body perfect yet.” He hits post. “And even if I was, I still have 6 months.”

ohhhhhhhhh ohhhhh WAITER WAITER MOOORE POSSESSION FORCEMASCCCCC dude this is the first long scenario in a WHILEE that ive been sent on here thats making me crazy. 😋😋😋 thank youu

also do you think after the reveal the demon jacks off their cock in front of the mirror as she protests internally. i think he would. :)

[lowres720]

Bunny and the Junkyard Dog

Chapter 7! Bad timing

She didn’t even see the article first.

Someone else did. Whispers started circulating the locker rooms before she’d even laced up her boots that afternoon. Side glances. Half-suppressed laughter. The occasional phone screen turned quickly away when she passed.

She felt it crawling over her skin like static.

Something was wrong.

It wasn’t until Naomi caught her by the elbow outside the catering hall that she realized just how wrong.

“Hey,” Naomi said gently, handing her a phone. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

That’s never a good sign.

Y/N took the phone.

And froze.

The headline practically screamed.

“SECRET SHIELD SCANDAL: Is CM Punk Hooking Up With WWE’s Quietest Diva?” ‘Sources close to the locker room reveal spicy moments between the seasoned rebel and the shy darling of the roster.’

Her stomach dropped.

Photoshopped images accompanied the article one of her and Punk walking out of the arena, another of them sitting together at catering, one particularly ridiculous one of him whispering something in her ear mid-joke, blown up with a trashy caption like:

“What’s a little flirtation between friends?”

And worse…

The article used quotes.

Twisted ones.

Taken from backstage promos, media scrums, and segments clipped and jammed together to paint her as some star-struck girl caught in Punk’s gravity.

They’d even used a quote from her in-ring debut interview, where she’d said, “I’m lucky to be around veterans who believe in me.” As if that proved something.

Her hands started to shake.

“No,” she whispered. “No, no, no this isn’t…”

“I know it’s garbage,” Naomi said quickly, squeezing her shoulder. “We all know it’s garbage.”

But that didn’t stop the buzzing in her chest.

Didn’t stop the way her breath caught in her throat and stayed there.

Didn’t stop the rising panic.

Because of AJ.

She hadn’t seen AJ yet. And this—this made her look awful. Like she’d betrayed someone she loves like family.

Like she’d done something cheap. And worse—like she’d wanted it. The walls of the hallway started closing in. She couldn’t breathe.

Not here.

Not now.

She turned on her heel and fled

AJ found her in a corner backstage, curled against a crate, hoodie pulled up and over her face, knees tucked into her chest.

Her breathing was ragged.

Unsteady.

The panic had settled like a weight on her ribs. She didn’t even hear AJ until her small hands gently pushed the hood back.

“Hey. Sweetheart. Look at me.” Y/N flinched.

But when she saw who it was, the tears came fast and messy.

“I—I swear AJ please I didn’t ”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I would never do that to you. I—you’re—you’ve been nothing but kind, and I love you and I wouldn’t—”

AJ pulled her into her arms before she could finish.

Held her tight.

Rocked her gently.

“I know, baby. I know. I’ve seen the article. It’s trash. So are the people who wrote it.”

Y/N sobbed. “I didn’t even say those things those quotes they weren’t even about Phil! ”

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Not me. Not him. Not the gossip brigade. You hear me?”

She nodded into AJ’s shoulder.

“I would never, AJ. I would never hurt you like that.”

AJ pulled back just enough to brush hair out of her face.

“I know your heart. And Phil? He’s ready to body slam the entire internet.”

That earned a weak little hiccup-laugh.

“Seriously. He’s pissed. Not at you. At them. He’s in full ‘Punk is angry and will tweet the apocalypse’ mode. It’s impressive.”

Y/N sniffled. “I just… I hate feeling like people think I’m…”

She didn’t finish the sentence.

Didn’t have to.

AJ squeezed her again. “You’re not that girl. No one here who matters thinks that.”

But it still hurt.

Deeply.

The worst part was how seen she’d felt lately. How slowly she’d been opening up. Trusting people. Laughing. Letting herself exist.

And now it felt like it had all been twisted into something ugly.

She wanted to disappear. Just for a little while. Dean didn’t know what happened until he saw Punk storming out of a hallway, muttering curses and swinging his gym bag like a weapon of vengeance.

“What the hell wheres the fucking fire Punk? ” Dean started.

“Don’t,” Punk growled. “Not unless you want to hear a lot of very creative ways to light the internet on fire.”

Dean blinked.

“…Okay then.”

He finally cornered Naomi for answers. She handed him her phone without a word. Dean read the headline. He felt his blood start to boil.

Not because he believed a single word of it.

But because he knew how Y/N would react.

And if there was one thing Dean Ambrose hated more than liars

It was liars who made good people bleed.

He found her about twenty minutes later. Sitting on the floor near the loading dock, knees still pulled up, eyes puffy, hoodie sleeves wrapped around her fingers like armor.

AJ was beside her.

Dean didn’t interrupt. He just waited. Eventually, AJ stood. Caught his eye. Gave a small nod.

And left. Dean slid down beside her without a word. They sat in silence for a while. He wasnt even sure where to start or what he could say that wouldnt come off as angry.

She finally spoke, voice raw and hollow.

“Do you think they believe it?”

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“No.”

“I hate it.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“I know.”

She curled tighter into herself.

Dean’s voice softened, barely above a whisper now.

“You’re not that girl.”

“I feel like I am.”

“You’re not.”

She looked at him.

Eyes red. Bottom lip trembling. “I didn’t even think anyone looked at me that way.” Dean met her gaze. “I do.”

The words slipped out before he could catch them.

Silence. Then he cleared his throat.

“Not like that,” he amended quickly. “I just I see you.”

She didn’t respond.

Just stared at him like she wasn’t sure if he was real. He wanted to say more. Wanted to rip the article apart, punch someone in the face, do something to fix this.

But he couldn’t so he just stayed. Letting her lean into him, shoulder to shoulder, hoodie brushing flannel.

She didn’t say thank you.

She didn’t have to.

He wasn’t going anywhere. Eventually they both got up and he took her back to her hotel after her last check in with April and Phil. He told her to stay off social media and reconnect with herself before tomorrow. She gave him a small hug before turning in for the night but Dean didnt expect what he saw the next day.

Y/N walked through the backstage corridor with her head high.Not cocky. Not performative. She was sure sure. She let yesterday roll off her back after Aj had called again and they had another pep talk.

Her boots struck the ground with purpose. Her shoulders stayed square. And when people looked at her now, she didn’t flinch.

She smiled.

They noticed. The producers smiled back, makeup crew greeted her by name. Hell even a few of the newer girls even asked her for advice on pacing, entrances, even stage fright and she gave it, calmly, kindly.

Not because she was trying to prove anything.

But because she finally believed she belonged.

The weeks of pain had shaped her but hadn’t defined her.

And it showed in her presence in her poise and in the soft confidence that turned quiet into power.

Even Dean noticed it from across the hall as he leaned on a stack of crates, arms crossed, watching her laugh at something Naomi said.

His chest tightened the way it always did when she smiled like that.

But before he could move, someone else appeared out of nowhere tall, cocky, grinning with all the smugness of a younger brother with too much time and not enough shame.

“Look at you,” Dominik Mysterio said, loudly enough to make her roll her eyes. “All confident and professional. Who are you and what have you done with my nervous nerdy sister?”

She turned to him, unimpressed.

“I’m still your sister. I’ve just evolved.”

“Evolved into what? A bossy rabbit?”

“Dom—”

“You’re still shorter than my punching bag back home.”

“Dominik—”

“I bet you can’t even reach the top rope without a running start.”

Naomi laughed from beside her, biting her lip. Y/N gave her brother a long, practiced glare.

“I will tell Mom you’re skipping your cardio.”

Dom gasped clutching his chain. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay!” He raised both hands in surrender. “Damn, I forgot the daylight made you sassy and I respect that,” he nodded. “Just don’t forget whos gonna be the real breakout star of the family.” He flexed his arms obnoxiously.

“You mean Apa?”

“Low blow,” Dom groaned.

Dean watched all of it unfold like a silent sitcom. Y/N’s arms crossed. Her foot tapped. And still, Dom grinned like the gremlin baby brother he’d always been.

Dean couldn’t stop staring. There was something adorable about it. Y/N who held herself like royalty now still trying to act like a tough big sister while being a solid eight inches shorter than the kid poking fun at her.

She looked fierce.

But all Dean could see was warmth.

And for a moment… it made the world feel softer.

“You’re staring again.”

Dean didn’t even flinch when Roman appeared beside him.

“Shut up.”

“She’s thriving now. I heard what happened im still shocked it was a issue.”

“I know.”

“You going to talk to her today, or just stand around like a lovesick scarecrow?”

Dean exhaled through his nose. “Working up to it.”

Roman clapped him on the shoulder. “Better hurry before Dom starts giving her dating advice.”

Dean groaned. “Oh God.”

“Exactly.” Later that night, Dean finally caught her alone. She was walking toward the locker room, towel slung over her shoulder, post-match adrenaline still humming under her skin.

He matched her stride. Silent at first she looked up and smiled. Not shy. Not unsure. Just glad to see him.

“Hey,” she said.

He nodded. “Hey.”

They walked a few more steps he cleared his throat. “So… you, uh… scared Dom half to death with that cardio threat.”

She grinned. “It was well deserved.”

“You’re really his big sister?”

“Unfortunately.”

“You’re like a whole head shorter than him.”

She elbowed him lightly. “Height isn’t everything.”

“No, but watching you try to boss him around like you’re six-foot-two is ” he let out a rare, genuine laugh “hi-fucking-larious.”

She narrowed her eyes playfully. “You’re so lucky I don’t take anything you say seriously.”

“Mmm yeah that’s fair.”

They kept walking.

Companionable silence stretching between them Dean spoke again. Voice quieter now.

“You’re doing good Y/N.”

She looked up. Really looked at him. And the glow with that little sweet warmth she always seem to carry softened even further.

“Thanks JonJon” she said. He nodded. And without meaning to without even planning it his hand brushed hers.

Dean found himself seeking her out more. Because the more he listened, the more fascinated he became. She wasn’t just soft-spoken and sweet. She was weird just in the way he liked her.

“So you’re telling me,” Dean said, leaning back against a stack of folded ring mats, “that you you, of all people used to beat up your little brother?”

Y/N looked completely unbothered as she stretched her arms behind her head. “I never said beat up. I said wrestled. It’s a contact sport.”

“Contact? You’re, like, five foot two.”

“Exactly. He never saw me coming. I had the element of surprise.”

Dean laughed. “You ambushed him?”

“Daily pretty much.”

“That’s evil.”

“That’s justice. He used to tear up my barbies clothes like an animal.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Where the hell was Rey during all of this?”

“Oh, he broke us up every time. Usually while muttering prayers in Spanish.”

Dean nearly dropped his water bottle from laughing. “I can’t picture you being violent.”

“You’ve never seen me play COD.”

He arched a brow. “You game?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

And just like that, a dam broke.

She started talking really talking—about her old consoles, how she stayed up way too late grinding levels, how she once got grounded for “accidentally” unplugging Dom’s Xbox during a match he was winning.

Dean was floored.

“You’re addicted.”

“I’ve been clean for three weeks.”

He squinted. “You played last night, didn’t you?”

“…Five hours.”

“You’re a menace.”

“Only in co-op.” But that wasn’t the only secret that came to light. Dean caught her slumped over in catering one afternoon, head on her folded arms, looking deeply betrayed by the world.

“No Red Bull again?” he guessed.

She didn’t even lift her head. “I’m dying.”

Dean chuckled. “There’s coffee.”

“Mud water. I want fizz. I want wings.”

“You know that stuff’s probably shaving days off your life, right?”

“Worth it.” He reached out and tugged gently on the drawstring of her hoodie. “You okay?” She sighed. “Booker T used to keep a stash.”

Dean blinked. “Booker?” “He had a mini fridge hidden in production. Swore me to secrecy. Called it ‘the vault.’”

Dean covered his mouth to hide his laughter. “You’re joking.” “He only let me in because I didn’t narc when I saw him sneak an entire box of donuts from the catering truck once.”

Dean lost it.

“I’m serious!” she insisted, sitting up. “It was golden rule enforcement.”

“You and Booker have a black-market Red Bull smuggling operation going and no one told me?”

“You can’t handle the fizz, Ambrose.”

“Oh, that’s how it is.”

“It’s an elite club.”

“I used to eat thumbtacks kid”

“And yet somehow I’m still tougher than you.”

They grinned at each other.

And for a few seconds, it felt like the rest of the world didn’t matter.

The next time they had a long drive loop, they ended up in the same car. Roman was driving. Seth snored in the backseat. And somewhere around hour two, Dean glanced over and said, “You ever hear of CZW?”

She looked up. “Combat Zone? Yeah. That’s where you sta-”

“Where I broke everything except my neck,” he said with a grin. “Barely.”

She tilted her head. “Why?”

Dean looked out the window.

Took a moment.

Then, quietly: “Because I thought if I hurt enough, it meant something. I needed to feel real. Needed to bleed a little to prove I was still alive.”

She didn’t say anything at first.

Just watched him.

Dean shifted slightly in his seat, shoulders tense.

“You still feel like that?”

“…Not as much,” he admitted. “Not lately.”

“Because you’re older?”

He shook his head. “Because someone finally made me feel seen without all the scars.”

She didn’t breathe for a second. Didn’t blink. And when Dean finally glanced over—Her eyes were locked on his.

Soft. Lit. He looked away first. But he was smiling.

Later that night, he found a can of Red Bull in his gear bag.

Tucked behind his elbow pads.

No note.

But he knew exactly who left it.

And the way his chest tightened around it told him all he needed to know.

He was gone. There was no more stopping.

He was fully, quietly, stupidly gone for her.And maybe… just maybe she was slipping, sweetly, into that same fall.

[stilltrails]

Hey there, sorry you got caught in the crossfire these last couple of days. I think a lot of people in Sam's tag are just completely fed up with all the garbage that keeps ending up in there (and that often has nothing to do with Sam). Tbolts* has made everything really, really ugly for the past month, and people are so tired of dealing with it that they aren't willing to look for nuance any longer and are just going to wade in swinging at anything they think is suspect.

Bucky stans also went to town about the serum line when BNW was first released, so the combo of BNW dropping on D+ (and that line getting attention again) plus the continuing bs from Tbolts* isn't a good combo. There are a lot of disgusting people who have said disgusting things about Sam, but I've also seen some people who meant well get hammered.

I'm a diehard sambucky fan and I cannot express in words how much I loved that scene in BNW and how much it told us about the strength of their relationship (which is why I hate how Tbolts* just threw Bucky's character development out the window). And you're right - Bucky was there because Sam needed him. Full stop. He was there because his husband boyfriend best friend was hurting. And Sam trusted him enough to let him see what he was really feeling/thinking. I thought it was a beautiful scene and I appreciated that Sam allowed himself to be vulnerable with Bucky, especially when we have the scene later with Joaquín where Sam makes it clear he feels he always has to be perfect in public.

I think it's important that Sam lumps Steve and Bucky together with that line about the serum, because it lets us see just how frustrated he is and how the self-doubt is creeping in after what happened at Celestial Island. It shows that he's not being guarded - he's speaking from the heart. Of course he knows that Bucky's experience wasn't the same as Steve's. But he doesn't have to spell that out for Bucky - he's talking about the end result. (And, really, when did Sam even have a chance to take the serum? Karli had the Power Broker's supply, Zemo smashed it, and that idiot Walker nabbed the one surviving vial. So Sam is saying he made a mistake about not doing something that he never even had the opportunity to do [unless I'm missing something], which again tells us about his state of mind in that moment.)

And, yeah, of course Bucky doesn't get offended or whatever, because he understands exactly what Sam means by that line and, more importantly, why Sam is saying it in the first place. And that's what he responds to - not the words, but the feelings underneath. That's why he only says 'Why?', because he wants to give Sam the room he needs to (as Bucky also says), say what he needs to say. Because they love and trust each other and they can hear what's underneath the words.

It sucks that Bucky stans turned that line into such a hot potato. I didn't think your post said anything wrong.

I really appreciate this. And now with the context of course I understand why people got so angry. I just wish that they actually read my explanation instead of jumping to pin blame on me for something I had no idea about.

I think just doing two seconds of bare minimum engagement and research would have cleared this up. I'm trying not to let the bad faith actors completely ruin my vibe, but it's very difficult. However, I really appreciate this message.

I wanted to speak about the vulnerability of that scene too. How Bucky is close enough so that Sam can vent to him him however the hell he wants and Buck's just like, "Babe, I got you. I love you." Like no thoughts, just making Sam as comfortable as possible.

I'm not online in terms of the MCU--not anymore. So I genuinely didn't know that people were dogging on that scene. And I still won't watch Thunderbolts because of the racism attached to it.

My witchcraft is making it fail in the box office anyway lol so i'm not gonna contribute to it anytime soon. Maybe when it comes out on Disney Plus, but not anytime soon.

Which I attempted to clarify but to no avail.

I really appreciate this.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[lexi-the-demon-69]

My CRK hot takes (character edition)

Yeah, you knew this was bound to happen. So, here are my Cookie Run Kingdom hot takes! Please do not read beyond this point if you are easily offended by someone else's opinion because I do not feel like listening to some of you guys whine in the comments.

So, here they are lol:

Ok, now let me explain my takes! I couldn't really fit everything into the comic, because they're just too small and I don't think I can do it justice. So, here are my explanations!

1.) "Black Pearl is an overrated character and didn't deserve to be Cookie of the Year."

I honestly do not understand why she’s so popular, other than that her design is pretty and she’s VERY good skill-wise. Other than that… there’s nothing really that I like about her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not criminally offensive compared to other characters, but all she is to me is a simple rehash of Dark Choco Cookie’s character, but worse. If anything, Sherbert Cookie should’ve been Cookie of the Year and not her! He’s an amazingly written character compared to her and I actually feel very sorry for, unlike Black Pearl. The only reason why she got Cookie of the Year is that she’s pretty. That’s it.

2.) "Clotted Cream can go fuck himself."

I despise this character with a passion. I also do not understand the appeal of Clotted Cream. There is just something about him that I just do not like! The moment I laid eyes on him in Cookie Odyssey, I immediately thought he was the man behind the slaughter and I feel like that was also half of the fandom at the time when Cookie Odyssey was released. Do I even need to mention the scene where he confronts the ancients with Dark Enchantress Cookie’s identity? I mean, yes, it should’ve been said, but holy fuck he could NOT shut his fucking mouth! Besides, HE started the whole damn thing! If anything, Dark Cacao should AT LEAST knock some fucking sense into him. I would not be even mad. Also, he’s fucking annoying to me. Why does he not have a British accent?! WHY?!-

3.) "LicoPom is a good ship"

I stand by this and I shall explain myself now. Both Pomegranate and Licorice Cookie are shitty people and they both treat Dark Choco like garbage. The ONLY reason why people say this ship is bad is because Pomegranate is shitty towards Choco. Y'all, you DO realize Licorice also uses Dark Choco as a punching bag too, right? Not only does Licorice throw Dark Choco under the bus by mentioning him to get him in trouble, but ALSO calls him names. Not to mention that Licorice is treated the best by Pomegranate, compared to the others, and you can see that they care about each other (at least, Licorice does, at the end of episode 14, where he tells her that she's hurt and they need to retreat.) They deserve each other, honestly.

4.) "The Heroes of the Dark Cacao Update is THE BEST CRK Update."

Do I really need to explain why? I mean, this update is CARRIED by its story ALONE! Not to mention we got Dark Cacao: One of the BEST written characters in the entire game, Affogato Cookie, Caramel Arrow Cookie: Dark Choco's wife/j and certified Girlboss, and we got to learn more about Dark Choco Cookie as a character! Whoever says this update is bad is a liar-

5.) "Sea Fairy is a mid character"

I don't think I need to explain why. We know very little about her, even after the Mermaid update we only know that she's connected to the Mermaids and that's kinda it. I mean, I don't hate her at all, but I wish we had a little more info about her.

6.) "Pudding Cookie should be introduced into Kingdom for the next Krima update"

Ok, not much of a hot take but more of an opinion. I mean, c'mon! Look at her!! We need an update where she's introduced along with other Christmas Cookies with their own little story, like in ovenbreak! Please, Devsisters, do it-

----

Ok, that's all of my hot takes I have so far. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose some of my followers for these takes- (thank you for 400 followers btw!! It really means a lot!!) but I say it's worth it. If any of you guys have any hot takes of your own, please let me know in the comments or ask box! I'd love to see them!

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

The Kokichi treatment talk

Kai: god the everything ever always makes Kokichi seem much more vile than he even depicts himself sometimes it actually lowkey pisses me off how aggressive this shit is towards him- we get it he's trying to trick people into thinking he's evil- you can stop making it worse he does plenty on his own

Sayakxami: Frankly, they treat him like garbage even before he does anything actually wrong Like, sure, he's an asshole, but that doesn't warrant the reactions they have whenever he does anything, really. Or not helping him out when he's literally bleeding from his head & has clear signs of concussion

Kai: is cause he lied about things that have literally no affect on any of them? Tenko is much more actively assholy that Kokichi is and people don't villainize her

Sayakxami: I've read some theories that maybe in that first flashback light there was something that made everybody dislike him from the get go She's genuinely awful to all male characters, and she's extremely weird about Himiko. I could never forget that spit comment Most of his goddamn lies is literally called "joking"

Kai: that's bullshit, i think the writers just wanted us to hate Kokichi and jumped the gun on when to actually start it i wouldn't hold my breath about it being intentionally sneeky writing, sometimes this crew just sucks at writing something something occam's razor

Clown: They definitely treat him irrationally badly sometimes, yeah. The best explanation I can give is that ouma is a remarkably easy scapegoat. Ya know, killing game, stress, fear for their lives, one single guy who is considerably annoying. It's easier for them to direct their distaste to the closest option. I do really like that one scene with rantaro after the death road of despair. At that point ouma had done literally nothing wrong, but Rantaro as a person is paranoid as all hell, so when he accuses him of going straight for murder it makes sense. The fact that ouma doesn't do anything to deny it already plants that seed of distrust in everyone

me: The set up is there though, Tsumugi makes comments about him already in chapter 2. But he also deliberately pulled their frustration with Kaede onto himself the morning after the death road, that was a very effective provocation, making them feel for Kaede and unite against him. Earlier it can be said that Rantaro was just snappy because of the stress, but the result impacted the group's impression of Kokichi, and so did this. His behavior alarmed them so much more because it Had To Do with the killing game, addressing the situation, and I know it's not nice to hear, but also because he's a guy. Just straight up, the standards are very different. Unusual behavior is much more likely to be seen as threatening and disruptive because he's a boy. Girls are just weird sometimes, they're annoying, but they can be ignored, Tenko throwing people can be a bit, it's just her emotional impulsive girly thing, it's not actual danger, but when that boy walks in everybody holds their breath, what shit will he start this time? His words matter unlike Miu's who they realized is a crazy girl on first impression and she just says things, he must be full of intent and schemes. And we could go on and on if we combed through canon material, because there is a lot of things that are taken lightly in-universe (and sometimes as a result by fandom too) because it's just girls, in skirts, silly

Kai: okay, they may have tried to set it up but it's not well done, it's really badly done and the point i was making is there is no actual in game excuse for them hating him right off the bat because of how poorly they handled the setup. set up does not match the reactions. and "they're girls, there's different standards" isn't an excuse for bad writing, actually that emphasizes a whole different issue with ronpa as a whole, but it isn't the focus of what we were talking about. also the girls aren't the only ones who get away with being really nasty in a killing game with no concerns while Kokichi breathing wrong gets him shunned

Sayaxami: I've always got the impression that it was sort of the point if poorly handled That their treatment of Ouma was awful, because they weren't really as good as they believed themselves to be And tbh I do think that everybody's treatment of Ouma greatly contributed to him following with his fake mastermind plan It cut off his other options, because he could not count on anybody. Obviously, his paranoia was there and was definitely a big contributor, but he was isolated and treated in a way that signalized that nobody would have cared if he died. He's supposed to be a leader, but he can't make these people work with him without using some underhanded methods or going about it an extremely roundabout way. He couldn't act without anybody assuming the worst of him, and that also limited his movements. He was forced into a corner, so he weaponized that, because it was the only thing he could still do

me: don't get me wrong, I did mean it as, the bad writing in dr is mostly rooted in bigoted ideas such as sexism, and I'd be more leaning towards belief that they intended shit that falls flat in our eyes than do something like that thoughtlessly, they don't treat any topic delicately so they're not afraid of reaching for low hanging fruits sometimes to reach the goals, but I wouldn't say it goes as far as to bare author's will in character's actions, we can find it when analysing it, but generally you can see in-universe explanations first or at least just as fast if you try, like, if you won't generalize and look at characters individually reacting, taking in each other's reactions and forming opinions and their personalities, it'll be clear that not all of them were this negative towards Kokichi and it made sense for the ones who were to be because they're righteous/reactionary/paranoid themselves etc

Sayakxami: All of that, tbh It's just that most people who were neutral/okayish with him died off early on Rantaro was distrustful of everybody, so nothing special Kaede wanted everybody to get along Ryouma was pretty neutral for obvious reasons tbh Kirumi was also pretty neutral, though she didn't like him calling her mom & was angry when he explained how she was trying to get somebody to take her place for execution, but aside from that there wasn't much Angie, I don't recall them having much of a relationship, so mostly neutral + she would've wanted everybody to join the students council & get along so Chabashira is awful to all men so nothing special here Korekiyo… I don't remember tbh, I seem to recall him being not much of a fan ngl, but Korekiyo's a bag of issues I don't feel like unpacking rn Miu and Kokichi were friends/partners up until she betrayed him by planning hisi death, which came from her paranoia & hopelessness rather than her hating him or something Gonta was everybody's friend, though he was a little more distrustful of Kokichi after the Insect Meet&Greet, but he still cared about him Most people were definitely annoyed with him, I have no doubts, but it wasn't that everybody despised him for existing, it's just that the people who were the most against him were the Training Trio and Tsumugi. Kiibou was still trying to reason with him in chapter 5 post mastermind reveal, and Himiko also seemed kinda whatever, but at the very least she didn't want kaito to kill him, so always something

[thetoaddaddy]

I dont think i ever really explained why I like the idea of Jiraiya living a more troubled/neglected childhood. Honestly I just like the juxtaposition of the rich girl from the most influential family, the tragic orphan full of resentment, and the white trash hick from the slums.

Have I hooked you? Long sorta in this essay I will type of explanation of my reasoning post. Trimmed so you don’t have to suffer through scrolling a big long post unless you volunteer to it. And I welcome reblogs with your own thoughts added to it or comments. I like having these kinds of discussions.

It makes for a fun dynamic and puts together three very different social classes that make up the Sannin and the most common 3 classes of society. Tsunade has everything from money, social status and livin in the rich how dare the neighbours put up an extra twinkle light we’re contacting the police neighbourhood. Orochimaru lost his family but lives fairly okay being a ward of the Hokage/state plus as a genius kid with potential to end the war with his big fucken brain and lack of empathy he would most likely be treated more special. Jiraiya hiding his money in the floorboards of his room cuz he knows his parents will steal it to buy into their addictions and he’s well aware no one really expects him to be nothing more than a failure.

Plus we don’t have any characters who have a troubled relationship with their parents in this way. Yeah we got dead parents and asshole cold distant rich clan expectations parent tropes. But not too much on poor and abusive. Which is weird cuz its pretty common to be low income with some garbage parents. (Not to say that’s the case all the time of course) Nor do we see much for alcoholism or similar addictions just ruining a family. The most he ever speaks about his parents in canon is that they were civilians. Kinda cold imo. Like I get that most likely kishi figured no one cares that much from where Jiraiya came from but that throw away line had me thinking and this headcanon came out.

So it’s pretty poetic that Jiraiya grew up full Glass Castle from a nothing neglectful civilian family and made something of himself with his own determination rather than being crutched with clan powers or high blood relations. He’s a nobody who proved people wrong and grew beyond his upbringing. His life we see on screen has always been pretty born under an unlucky star/he had to claw his way for anything he’s wanted and nothing was ever given to him. So it makes sense to me anyways that his early life was just as claw his way out from falling off the face of the earth. He could have just picked the easy way and not rise above being some drunk gutter rat that is just a direct product of his upbringing. But he focused on trying to get out rather than keep the cycle going. He picked the academy and proved he was not just above the curve but the grit he already had from surviving his broken home made for a determined courageous motherfucker. With that he became rich and renowned. All on his own.

I think that gives him more interesting motivation than the canon basically being ‘on my quest for pussy brb🏃‍♂️’ Like damn can we please uncreepy him kishi i stg. And I like to ignore his railroaded prophecy ass I must find my destiny stuff. That ruins his accomplishments. Honestly as a fairly empathetic person who grew up poor and hungry why wouldn’t he take pity on three war orphans and try to do good by them where he was never given that comfort? It’s far more compelling and interesting story than some crazy old toad told me to do it and I took those words so fucking literally it led the rest of my life.

I like to imagine he’s simply more wayward and never felt satisfied staying put(especially with all the horrible memories Konoha gives him). It also makes more sense for him to have this kind of chip on his shoulder over being some average guy who had an average upbringing. He can handle himself not just in battles but in dealing with the more uncomfortable situations like traveling through poor areas with the know how.

Like he knows how to speak crackhead and the slum folk clock him as one of their own. I wouldn’t call it street cred or anything. He just has the street smarts beyond that of an average person and it shows. Plus in some verses I like to think he travels hoping to find love as well. Can’t find one’s soulmate staying put in a village can they? ;)

Not every character has to be tragic I know. And this is just what I think. You don’t have to agree with me or accept my interpretations. He could have easily just brushed off the subject cuz he keeps people at an arms length. Which he does for the most part.

But I feel like with the Sannin era we were left with such well cooked and seasoned snippets that it became kinda frustrating that the rest was kinda undercooked or plain still in the damn deep freeze. So we get brain zoomies and try to fill in the big ass gaps. I want to know how three of the most interesting and important ninja of the shinobi world grew up. It’s fun to imagine and make these types of interpretations. Even if it is answered one day in a mini series or a book, I’ll still probably prefer what I and my moots cooked up. Cuz honestly we put more care and deep thought into these characters than kishi does at this point 😭

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on an Elsbeth with "a murder but not a crime", potential sparks flying between Elsbeth and a woman, and a detective who felt like Todd Wright's evil twin

Okay even if I didn't know there was a murder about to happen this would still feel like it has a very ominous aura

cherchez la femme (and why do I feel like there's some social moral incoming)

could that dress get any more sparkly?

ok so why put that down the garbage chute

and more shit I can't see for her to figure out

wonder if that's some kind of Trump dig

faceblindness not recognizing Jenn Colella until she mentioned the Mertens case

how many patterns is Elsbeth wearing at once

and why isn't Kaya a detective yet

ok who's the hot detective

and why is he a bit of a douche

so that's what was happening, a bit of a setup sitch

that's too white

so he's another potential recurring

now I'm a little scared for Elsbeth

more reinforcing nothing's going on between Kaya and Cameron

and Jenn Colella's not the only Broadway star in this episode, hi Victoria Clark

a little emoji lesson

that's a lot of food and that's gonna somehow be relevant

consultant, huh

more casual gay

another stereotypical-gen-Z-type making assumptions

a little bit of girl-girl sparks for Elsbeth huh (potentially leading to more?...)

why's Chloe making herself sound like the American equivalent of a geisha

Elsbeth getting out of here quick-like

looks-like-Skylar-Astin-but-not detective arrested the wrong person yet again

AI again

so that's why she tossed the steaks

girls supporting girls again

nice product placement and Elsbeth and I appear to have the same flavor taste

hmm potential explanation for the painting in Chloe's apartment

read the room Elsbeth, you're good at noticing everything else

sometimes multiple guys isn't what you think

holy Leverage, didn't see that coming

stop calling that guy that nickname

right idea wrong woman

okay holy relationship flowchart

is Elsbeth sticking up for Chloe because crush

Captain "dad" probably thinking "don't make me have to separate you two"

you know what they say about ladies in red

I want to kick him in the nuts even though he's cute

Elsbeth invoking the consent decree like Sailor Moon invoking the moon

hmm so more involved than we thought

captain's good voice making Elsbeth well up, and then have her epiphany

oh there's a twist

so Rivers took the bait

guess I was right thinking about Sophie Devereaux

and now I'm almost crying

potential out to have her recur

friends or more...

now Captain Wagner's feeling like Rivers's Margaret

bets the heart emoji doesn't mean what you think (we know he likes her, doesn't necessarily have to mean she likes him)

kick his ass Kaya

why do I feel like that was Kaya's equivalent of when Detective Karadec on High Potential got that offer from the FBI (a flip-reverse of the Kayabeth parallels between Karadec and Morgan in the High Potential season finale)

[ford-between-dimensions]

So...you haven't seen your brother for...well, presumably decades at this point. The last time you did see him was following a 10-year silent period where, prior to THAT, involved watching him get kicked out of your home and disowned as a teenager. You had no contact whatsoever during that 10-year period. You had no idea what he was doing or how he was doing, physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially (especially given your father's "don't come home without millions" threat). Fuck, until those infomercials started coming out, you wouldn't have had a way of knowing if he was even alive.

And when you finally, FINALLY get to talk to him again, the person you essentially haven't seen or known since you were teenagers/kids (teenagers are kids and I stand by that, coming from a 22 year old child, by the way), you decide to berate him. Insult him. Whatever way you want to phrase it. Okay, never mind on that. You'd probably use the word "critique" to soften the blow that it'd have on your psyche and make yourself feel better.

What happened to you, getting pushed into the portal, was specifically an accident. The portal had been turned on without either of you kmowing, especially Stanley given he hadn't been the damn thing for who knows now long. You were pushed during the heat of the moment, which had a ton of underlying tension that had been building for an extremely long time.

I'm not saying there wasn't fault on Stanley's part. There was. But you aren't the perfect person who's never done wrong like you seem to think you are. You've made your own mistakes.

Yes, well, I had no simple means of contacting him then—I had no idea where he was living. By the time I saw his infomercial, we hadn’t spoken for years. We have the same face, but I could barely even recognize him. He was selling garbage like a snake oil salesman, with an egregiously fake name. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

When I finally spoke to him again, it was of my own initiative. I asked a favor of him…and you know how that went. I’m well aware Stanley didn’t intend to “send me to my death” by pushing me into the portal. But that’s just my point. He’s always been reckless, causing accidents left and right and leaving me to deal with the fallout. My future…my life. These are important matters, and regardless of any explanations he can give, the fact is that he put them both at jeopardy.

Yes, I have my lapses of judgements, but nothing that merits any apology towards him. I made a bad call with Bill. That was my mistake. But I was trying to undo all the harm my research had caused. Matters were urgent, and I needed help to accomplish it. I really wanted to believe Stanley could be that help, no questions asked, but he only complicated matters further.

I’ve been plenty patient with him as is…I don’t owe him any more than that.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I can relate to what the last two anons said I could never make friends in the queen fandom and I see others making friends on here so easily that I feel like there is something wrong with me or I'm just an outcast because I'm shy or weird but the fandom feels very cliquey sometimes

Aw, no, there’s nothing wrong with you for not making fandom friends. All fandoms are cliquey to some extent, and I feel like it’s even worse in small fandoms, such as the tumblr Queen fandom. If you don’t fit in with a clique? Good, it means you’re acting like an adult lol. Seriously, the cliquey shit is so not worth losing sleep over. I had longtime followers unfollow me after I finally got fed up with an extremely immature and cliquey user hate-reading my blog and vagueblogging about me for years lmao, so fandom cliques will turn on you for the dumbest shit and if you say anything against the big name fans—very high school, isn’t it? In general, internet fandom cliques can encourage really petty and abnormal behavior, and I don’t last in them because they get mad the minute someone says, “No this is nonsense and really Online, actually.” It’s like how I left a group chat on insta back when I had my Queen account because I didn’t feel inclined to go along with the crowd in *checks notes*….saying Brian hates Freddie and is homophobic towards him. Really, listening to Online garbage is not worth being in a clique!

Some people do seem to make friends in fandom easily, but keep two things in mind that I previously mentioned: the first one is that it might seem like people are besties on your tumblr dashboard because they reblog each other’s posts and tag each other and stuff, but their online relationship might actually be superficial, and fizzle out the minute one or both joins a new fandom (or those friendships might end easily over really dumb fandom discourse!). The second is that even if you make an actual friend online, they can disappear from your online life pretty abruptly and with little explanation one day, maybe because something happened, or they don’t use tumblr anymore, or whatever.

I know this might not be the answer you were looking for, but all of this is why people should invest more in irl friendships than internet friendships. I’ve been reconnecting with irl friends recently, and man, it feels good. Like I said in another post, too, I feel a lot better keeping to myself on tumblr now, so trust me, getting to know people in fandom isn’t always a good thing lol.

If someone genuinely makes a real, longtime friend through fandom? Great! I just think it happens a lot less often than people think, so don’t feel bad for not having any.

[toomuchgas10]

I have to let it go believing people would be willing to work with me or at least little more than that.

hardly bohem. sounds like more bs.

I mean. so.

thats says it all. they you way you chose to interpret things. you expect me to accept that?here i am shouting begging. and you just doing the worst of the worst.

so why does garbage determine my reality more than what I need?

i have held onto a faith that people will see things understand comprehend something but when you show me collectively that they were far from it. yea it hurts.

thats all you want to do is hurt me.and you expect me to just stand there and smile?

my own mother thinks ima joke to bully.

now you have me blocked on my phone but this time its not anything i said or did. now your avoiding because you in the wrong. as usual.

your decisions effecting my timeline will always hurt in away you will never comprehend. I dont love you anymore I despise you. I wish i could take everything you own and leave you with nothing. loyalty neither of you deserve it.

its not my fault somebody posted that first. i only did it later to give somebody an example and to show a constellation eventually pain adds up. its fair. especially in desperation and in need of explanation. especially after the harm and disrespect you've caused me.god your so fucking selfish.

is that all you have? just annoying teasing bitch botch botch. "its exactly what you think"

ohh why are you offended they called you a witch when you wearing it like pride?

maybe "witch" isnt what you took offensively.

just another rotten lie of yours.

the only person that doesn't deserve trust IS YOU.

and what do you want for m?

to work? thats what you want? to work..... .... then you get linda to go bitch mode on me "he just doesn't wanna work blah blah blah" been there done that.

you can organize all of this shit but you your not interested in my ideas oH but only if im not included and it makes you money. even if it makes you money. thats bs. include me!

Well maybe I would have my life together if I had a chain on my bycle so to speak. if i had better purpose then constantly hanging on the edge of everybody hates me no hope no future its the bum road or sitting her feeling sorry for myself.

you always threatened 'blah blah blah while you sit here and feel sorry for yourself" I wasn't before u i am now! what did you do????

you set it up like that.

If i made the right decisions the right plans would i have benefited from? the answer is NO!

maybe you couldn't have had more if you did include. if i was included you would have a more consistent plan one that isn't poison to me.

poison perfume? oh do you still believe i want this? your wrong. I dont want this.

they know. im just stupid because its out there i complicated things and thats my lesson. to shut the fuck up because people will wreck everything. so ia have to accept that as reality as my fate?

fuck you!

what is the point of the slip if your not gonna show up.

you cannot epext me to figure this out all on my own in a pit. in the dark.

does it look like ive learned my lesson? here i am still talking about things. here i am saying things. using a voice. trying.

well that says it then. she was in on it she never had intentions for me.

everything that i hear from her or what appears that does is a lie.

why is it always something negative about me?

unreachable unresponsive diamond...... the fuck you talk about.

you all expected me to be as wise as you when you taught me nothing at all. well i guess im not hive connected to you.

noting wa ever gonna go my way your way with things set up that way. they never wanted me in my own power in my higher self. its bs you expected more but for me its not.

you spent e last two years building things up just to stomp on it for what?

him? nothing to do with him.

you bored? not my problem you lack ambition.

he consumed all these good things coming my way.

so fucking stubborn and unreasonable.

you told me to fuigure it out to grasp air with a fork. to mend things fragile and usntable. how can you expet me when your all against me. you never wanted to give me chance. alll i wanted was to recover something from somebody else's decision and its not fair. your all deciding things to be this way.

no matter what i have offered how rich you got how connected you got your denial robs me of reciprocity.

"its exscatly what you think"

what your proud? nobody should be proud of shit. you aint gold.

obnoxious toxicity. your proud of that? thats easy thats garbage and you aint a fancy girl of value it means your ugly.

is there cany thing you can do with out ripping me off somehow with out some shitty manipulation?

"its only time" time is everything. its murder. while i sit here with a hollow brain and you expect me to climb out of YOUR DECISIONS.

you were never gonna meet me at eye level or halfway.

all it says is "you cant talk because people are gonna do the worst no matter what here lemme show you." when really i wanted you to exercise anything but that.

I can see it. why dont you.

i cant forgive you for the decaes you wasted me.

i will never understand why you gave them access to me and me absolutely nothing.

my isolation against the world? DO YOU THINK YOUR CUTE YOU TOXIC BITCH?

and if all woman are like that then maybe i deserve to be an incel.

power couplings....no fucking such thing.

wow those vibes were really exciting and disappointing what a fucking disappointment as usual. thats all you do disappoint. does that give you pleasure i don get it.

"oh im justa criminal blah blah blah"

no your dumb that what you are.

here i am hoping beyond the point where is hould know better and given all the signs that people are just the worst and they wont do right by me. you expected me to a bitch a bitch and sit there.

what illusion are you maintaining now i want to know. whats the point. what are scattering? yeah bs.its you people should scatter from.

sick of your rotten salt.

your not writer. nothing is discovered here.and if anything is i deserve to know what peole found.

once again more rip offs yvonne you know thats not what i was looking for. turns out people dont even have the metal capacity for what i was expecting.

i didn't i know i was surrounded by assholes and fools.

i spent years accepting. i fucking hate you.

its you that deserve such cruelty.

you dont have the capacity of an intuitive heart or empathy. and when you did it was only just to hurt me or only when its too late. which im sure you did on purpose. but i cant say it because you'll ignore me.

your not even hurt your just a bully.

"but we have to be your enemies"

WHYYYYY????

"well because of money"

has it always been like that?

so now i have nothing and no one and im a cry baby because all i can do is bitch about it.

your not good people. empathy is completely self serving or a scam.

i never stood a chance. and they think its funny.

when its clear i probable should have succeeded and i needed your help.

yeah because being a broke volatile loner is so much more important.

i proved what im capable of.

but if it was already out in the open why is it suddenly toxic when i talk about it?

fuck thsi void its poison its killing me and you know it.

I want to take back all of my apologies so much. you dont deserve it. its murderous.

Things can be a work in progress. not everything has to be a final draft polished work of art of pure beauty. especially most defeintly especially when a skeleton in the woods under a umbrella takes a shit.

especially when you dotn make things clear and if you haven't then i guess thats just another thing im not included on. therefore i can only work with what i have. there's more reduction in accountability. perhaps you all were always gonna leave me out of the loop to easy to comprehend things. you certainly made things harder than need be. its just excessive. or are you just serving your overlords?

[dip-the-pip]

I’m so fucking frustratedddddddd with my boss

1. the mom boss is just. kind of the worst for only thinking about herself and just. takes stuff!! I have asked for supplies, and when she doesn’t get them, I’ll bring in my own and keep them in places that are Just For The Kids. She has stolen glue sticks, crayons, and printer paper that i TOLD her i brought in for the children since SHE didn’t get it for us and then. they just go missing!! and this is stretched over 3 years. in my first year she took the glue sticks, claimed there aren’t even glue sticks in the house, and then I found them down in her work space (no thoughts about HOW THE GLUE STICKS CAME INTO THE HOUSE????? EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU????) and printer paper i brought in was because i had been ASKING HER FOR COLOURING BOOKS/PAGES and the kids had no recycled paper to use and I don’t even have a printer anymore so i brought them in and she. took them to use for her business!! 30-50 sheets!! Jumbo crayons she took to make the kids halloween costume which like. whatever except she peeled them all and snapped them all in half (not the kids, i asked), and now this last one is a bit silly but SHE invited me to grow veggies in their backyard this year so i was like okay yay sure and i brought over planters and i went out and bought soil and i LABELLED MY SOIL ON TBE OUTSIDE OF THE BAG because i don’t have a car and bringing the soil was so inconvenient and difficult so I wanted to just keep using my own and not worry about needing more. it was 3/4’s full still. and today it was bunched up and empty in the top of the garbage can. you can STILL SEE MY NAME ON IT. i’m so fucking pissed

and 2. she just. idk. has no backbone and it’s harder when she had both kids and will let them go crazy. Her ‘gentle’ parenting is purely permissive parenting, and I’ve told her kindly many times that letting them do what they want because they said please or asked repeatedly over and over until she gives in isn’t gentle parenting and they’re just learning that they can get what they want if they push hard enough. She does not lay down boundaries and she doesn’t enforce any, nor does she try to redirect. ever. She tells me about the kids hitting her and screaming in her face and throwing toys and she jumps from permissive parenting to SCREAMING at the children SO fast and like. yes! I had this rough phase with them too!! And I was able to quickly shut that shit down and they won’t even try with me anymore! They take my ‘no’s’ and explanation’s with grace and move tf on. All of this to say, the youngest has started potty training with me and the mom is In A Way because he won’t go with her and they’re making no progress on their end and like. i KNOW it’s because the youngest knows she won’t enforce anything, but now she wants to stay home with us next week, working at the table and ignoring the kid, so she’s ’in his presence’ and will ‘start using the potty with her too’

I asked three different caregivers if I was in the wrong for feeling like that’s a bad idea, because 2 adults vs 1 toddler is going to set him off, he’s only going to push boundaries with her and we won’t accomplish anything, and he’s going to have an endless meltdown that she’s working in our space but not playing with him. He scream cried for 30 minutes this morning because she was just. On her phone on the couch ignoring him while I was packing up his food for the day. And after 5 minutes of ignoring his cries (no reassurance, no questions about anything else, purely ignoring) she goes ‘oh do you just need a mommy hug?’ and he goes into her lap and just CRIESSSS saying mommy don’t go i was mommy ect ect and finally the minute I get him out the door. Nothing. Tears are done, frowns gone, and he’s taking excitedly about what we were going out to do.

I have been with him since the day he was brought home to the hospital, so it’s not the typical ‘kid sad he’s with the nanny’ it’s purely because he knows she’ll stay if he keeps crying. Not saying it’s not good to attend to their feelings, but at some point you’re doing more harm than good feeding into his anxiety. I fear the days she stays home for potty training are going to be like this first half hour this morning. And every other nanny I talked to said they had similar experiences with a parent wanting to do it alongside the nanny and it never worked, with a few of them saying the toddlers even regressed in progress and took months to get back up to that. And that’s exactly what happened with the older brother, the mom started trying way too early and scared him from it and i cannotttttttt deal with another rough potty training toddler because the parents keep messing everything up!! And I’ve walked her through how I started with him and the specific phrasing I use and that I don’t deter from the same times every day in our schedule

[laudys83]

Hard head, soft heart

Day 18: A friendship lost & found

"You're the biggest idiot alive."

Dikhil spat out the words like they burned his tongue. He stood in front of Alzagar, fists clenched, jaw tight, his gaze dark with barely contained rage.

"You're a fucking fool, Alzagar. After everything he did to you?!"

Alzagar didn't answer right away. He knew this was coming, he knew Dikhil wouldn’t take the news well—but this… this was worse than he had expected.

"He’s going to do it again," Dikhil growled, stepping forward. "You know that, right? He’s going to leave again. And guess who’ll be picking up the pieces? Me. But not this time. I’m done."

"You think you know everything," Alzagar replied, more tired than angry.

"Oh, I know enough!" Dikhil snapped. "I know he left you like garbage, without a word. I know it took you months to pull yourself together. You were there, rotting in the house, drowning in wine, raging and grieving, and I—like a goddamn idiot—tried to convince you that it would pass. That you’d forget him. And what do you do? The moment he shows up, you welcome him back like nothing ever happened?!"

Silence fell between them.

Alzagar took a deep breath. He didn’t want to justify himself. Not to Dikhil. Not now.

"I don’t owe you an explanation."

Dikhil let out a bitter laugh.

"No. But you’ll owe yourself one, when he fucks off again."

He turned on his heels without a backward glance.

"Good luck, Alzagar. You’re gonna need it."

And then he was gone, leaving Alzagar alone with his anger and his doubts.

A Few Months Later – Cyprus

Alzagar hadn’t heard from Dikhil since that day. He had wanted to believe his friend would come around, that the anger would fade… but nothing.

Until that morning.

The air was still cool when he spotted a familiar figure standing on the doorstep of his house. Dikhil, arms crossed, face set in that same stubborn scowl, as if ready to start another fight.

Venec, lounging on the low wall, a piece of bread in his hand, eyed him with amusement.

"Well, well. You back to yell at him some more, or are you finally ready to admit you were wrong?"

Dikhil shot him a murderous look, but Venec just snickered.

"I just came to check if my dumbass friend was still breathing, that’s all."

Alzagar folded his arms, unmoving in the shade of the porch.

"And now that you see I’m not dead, you planning on leaving again?"

Dikhil grimaced.

"Haven’t decided yet."

He cast a sideways glance at Venec.

"So, you’re still with him, huh?"

"Yeah, he’s still with me. What, surprised?"

Silence.

Venec took another bite of bread, smirking.

"I’m waiting for your apology."

Dikhil ignored him and turned to Alzagar.

"I never said I was right."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I said you were an idiot."

A slow smile tugged at Alzagar’s lips.

"You never really needed to say it."

Dikhil exhaled sharply through his nose, but the anger was gone. Now he just looked tired.

Venec stood, stretched, and glanced between them.

"So, now that you two have made up, are we gonna hug it out or what?"

Dikhil rolled his eyes.

"Go fuck yourself, Venec."

Venec burst out laughing, and, despite himself, so did Alzagar.

Dikhil was here. He had come back. That was all that mattered.

Challenge by @monthlywritingchallenges

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't think there's anything wrong with people liking mediocre books, or books with lazy worldbuilding, even as adults. I love Animorphs and boy is the worldbuilding in that series janky as fuck. A lot of old fantasy and scifi is built on some very sexist assumptions about the world and human nature but still lives rent-free in my brain. Giving Rowling money or attention these days is immoral because she's using that money and fame to fund a hate movement that gets people killed; that has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of Harry Potter. The quality of Harry Potter is completely irrelevant to the reasons why it's bad to buy Harry Potter shit. If Harry Potter were a brilliantly written masterpiece it would not affect the morality of buying Harry Potter shit in any way whatsoever. People these days act like hating on the quality of HP is activism somehow, and hating HP makes you good and liking it makes you bad, which is. Bullshit.

As an entirely separate issue, the worldbuilding of Harry Potter is terrible, and the specific assumptions made by the author say a lot about her. (There are things in Harry Potter that are very well done -- there's a reason that so many writing lessons and soforth used HP as a model example of so many writing techniques before she went Full Terf. Rowling is exceptionally skilled at writing on the sentence and paragraph level; she knows how to structure sentences for interest and clarity, how to arrange elements to effectively conceal and foreshadow a mystery, how to paint a picture of a character with a few lines and be able to vividly pull them back chapters later with a couple of assigned key words. These skills are difficult to master, and Rowling has them. That's simply a fact. It's when you zoom out that it all falls down, which is why the series becomes weaker and weaker with each book, as every book expands the scope of the world, obviously, and her worldbuilding is absolute garbage.) The fact that Rowling considers 'we have to hoard magic because otherwise we'd have to help people who don't have it' to be a reasonable explanation requiring no elaboration says a lot about her. The fact that she thinks sexual coercion is funny if it's girls doing it to boys says a lot about her. Her portrayal of the slave underclass and the only objection to it being Hermione who is framed as a pathetic interfering busybody says a lot about her, as do the goblins, her very lazy worldbuilding of the other magic schools, her them of being fat or ugly being tied to evil, et cetera, et cetera. NOT because these things are depicted. There's nothing inherently 'problematic' about depicting, say, a world where slavery exists and is assumed by the characters in that culture to be part of the natural order. They say things about her because when you're writing a story, you have to know what your audience will take at face value and what they won't, and HP is structured such that the audience is assumed and expected to take these things as true things about the world. She's a careless worldbuilder and she hasn't thought these issues through, so her natural biases come through clearly not in what she chose to write about (anyone can write about anything), but in what she accepts (and assumed that we would accept, because she hasn't questioned them) as fundamental human truths that don't require explanation.

I know I'm a bit late to saying this but frankly if I found out a secret society of magic-users were just playing nonsense sports and making up slurs for the rest of us instead of helping us out with famines or leukemia I think I'd apply for a job with my local witch hunters