#and now I have a way to apply what I’ve learned into my personal life

[absentdadza]

I think one of the coolest things about learning a new language is when you start not having to translate certain words in your head and you just know the meaning directly literally one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced

[theamazingannie]

I’m a sucker for musical parallels and referencing an old song in a new song but I feel like this TTPD lead up is not just a “this is how I used to feel and now I’m using those themes to show how I feel now” and more of a “those feelings were never real and actually those love songs that were so beautiful before are actually about a bad relationship and full of red flags” cuz it’s honestly ruining my feelings on those old songs. Like Taylor’s whole thing is letting us interrupt the songs and apply them to our own lives and now it’s like even she is encouraging us to only see them through the lens of her most recent breakup and it really sucks tbh

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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[writergeekrhw]

25 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 25 YEARS IN TV WRITING

Well, it’s actually been 30 years now, but here’s a spew I did 5 years ago on the bird app to commemorate my 25 years as a TV writer. 

I’ve edited it a bit for clarity. Hopefully some of you will find it useful.

1. In TV writing (and writing in general) there is only one unbreakable rule: Thou shalt not be boring.

2. Write characters people want to hang out with for an hour or so once a week for years to come. Even if they're bad people, make them interesting, engaging bad people.

3. If your lead is a bad person, make them funny and/or sexy. Direct most of their bad behavior toward other bad people or themselves. Make them well motivated. Maintain rooting interest.

4. What makes a character special should be intertwined with what makes them struggle. Perfect people are boring.

5. Characters should complement/conflict with each other. No two characters should serve the same purpose/have the same backstory/have the same voice.

6. Cast the best actor, adjust the character to suit.

7. Give your leads the best lines/moments. No one is tuning in to watch the funny guest star. Like Garry Marshall said back on HAPPY DAYS, “I’m paying Henry Winkler $25,000 an episode. Give the Fonz the jokes.”

8. Your characters, good & bad, should reflect the reality of our wonderful, diverse world. White male shouldn’t be the default.

9. Avoid stereotypes. Stereotypes are boring.

10. If all your POV characters know some secret, the audience should know it too.

11. If your show hinges on a big mystery, know more or less what the truth is from the beginning. You can change it later if you need to, but write to a specific.

12. If your story doesn’t test your characters mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally, or spiritually, you don’t have a story.

13. You can start by figuring out the Beginning, the Middle, or the End, but you don’t have an episode until you have all three.

14. Big suspenseful act outs (the last moments before the commercials) aren’t just a gimmick. They’re a good way to structure an hour of entertainment to make sure the audience is invested and your pacing is solid.

15. Every scene should be a consequence of the previous scene or a refutation of it.

16. A scene also needs a Beginning, Middle, and End. The end should propel the characters and/or audience into the next scene.

17. Every scene is a negotiation/confrontation between two or more characters who want different things or have different ideas on how to solve the same problem.

18. A good action scene is still a character scene. With punching. (This applies to sex scenes too, but you know, with sex.)

19. A crap page is better than a blank one.

20. It’s easier to cut than to add.

21. Good things rarely happen in the Writers Room after dinner. Go home, get some rest, write pages at home if you have to, start fresh in the morning.  Writers who have a life outside the writing room are better writers. Beware the showrunner who doesn't want to go home to their family. That said…

22. Script by day one of Pre-Production. No matter what.

23. You’re a writer first. Almost nothing happening on set or in post is more important than the writing. Delegate when possible.

24. Make an extra effort to surround yourself with writers who are different from you (background, race, gender, orientation, etc). Listen to their perspectives, especially on experiences alien to you.

25. And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. In TV writing and life in general. 

PART TWO HERE:

https://at.tumblr.com/writergeekrhw/25-things-in-25-years-part-2-25-things-ive/okjzwofyiq6i

[tarotbydelilah444]

a love letter from your mother to you

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and new mothers around the world. You are loved and appreciated for all that you do from being a strong woman to being a mother to all, and you do it all with beauty & grace. Thank you for all that you do and that you continue to do. We love you! This message is to meant to apply to everyone, no matter who raised you, or you consider as your “mother.”

pile one • 💐

dearest one, my life was complicated and a mess when you came into my life. I went through a lot of changes when I found out about your existence. I had to come to terms with some harsh realities and learn from my many many mistakes in order to be the best parent that I could be for you, and it wasn’t always easy as I made it seem. You made me a better person. You gave me a second chance to do the right thing when everybody doubted me, and for that, I am eternally grateful for your existence in my life. You taught me valuable lessons and things I never knew that I was capable of. You taught me how to be a mature, patient, humble, and selfless human being and mother. Although I endured a lot of challenges when you came into the world, I do not regret a single thing, and given the chance, I would do it all over again. I am so proud of you and everything you have manage to accomplish in your life. Everybody knows how proud I am of you, and if it was possible I would scream to the top of my lungs, so that the entire world knows how proud you have made me as a parent. Baby, I want you to know that I will always be there to support you whenever you need me, you can always count on me when no one else is there, so don’t hesitate to lean on me when you aren’t feeling too strong. My favorite thing about you is your ability to rise above adversity. You are so resilient and you never allow anything or anyone to keep you down for too long. You just dust yourself off, get back up, and try again and again until you reach the stars. Now at times, you can be a bit of a perfectionist and way too hard on yourself, and I want you to know that it is okay to take a step back and give yourself grace because everyone needs a break every once in a while. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are still the best in my eyes, no matter what anyone says or does. My precious child, the best trait that you inherited from me was your drive and determination to go after your dreams & aspirations. I’ve always known since the day you were born that you were going to do amazing things and be more successful than I ever was. You are truly the best parts of myself, and you are everything I could possibly ask for. I am so proud to be your mother.

sincerely

- your mama

pile two • 🌷 my sweet precious baby, I was so excited when you came into the world. I have always dreamt about how my family would look one day and I always dreamt of your precious face and how much love I would shower you in. You brought so much joy and happiness into my life at a time when I really needed it. Before you were born, I struggled to find purpose and balance in my life. I was constantly juggling my passions in one hand, and my priorities in the other. When you arrived, I immediately felt that you were not only my purpose, but my reason. I knew right away that I needed to make some changes in my life and do things that would make me happy. Your birth taught me how to give myself grace and how to take joy in the little things and never take anything for granted. You are my muse, my inspiration, and my pride and joy. I love you with all my heart and soul. Do you know what I absolutely love about you? I absolutely love your generosity. You have such a big heart and you are always willing to help out anyone that you see, but sometimes, I do wish that you be more careful and aware that not everyone has good intentions, or want the best for you. I also want you to be more comfortable in saying “no” to others instead of always trying to please others. You cannot pour from a empty cup, my dear. I love that you are so determined and goal driven. You never have to be forced nor told to get up and go after what you want in life, and for that I commend you for that. You are not one to accept losses because you understand that life presents challenges and you won’t always win every single battle, but you learn and accept the lessons that have been given to you with each challenging task, which in my opinion, makes you the strongest person I know. Last but certainly not least, I am grateful that you inherited my intelligence and curiosity for all things in life. You can be a bit of a overthinker and tend to worry over the littlest things, but I want you to know that everything is going to work out just fine, and there is no need to worry about every little thing, just enjoy this ride called “life”. I adore that you don’t follow the crowd and that you march to the beat of your own drum. You weren’t created to fit in, but pave your own path, no matter what anyone says, they are just intimidated by your uniqueness. Don’t ever try to fit into anyone box, and continue to be true to yourself. yours truly, - your mama

pile three • 💐

my miracle child, you have no idea how much I am grateful for your presence in my life. You are everything that I could’ve ever imagined and I am beyond honored that you chose me to be your mommy. I prayed so many times for your arrival and I promised that I would always shower you in so much love since the day you came into my life. When I found out about you, I cried and jumped for joy because there were so many people that told me that I wouldn’t become a mother, but I never listened nor did I give up the fight. I pleaded and prayed to the Lord that he would bless my womb and heart with your beautiful soul, and he listened and delivered such a beautiful and wonderful human being. You are my best and greatest achievement in my life, and nothing could ever compare with you. I made a vow to God, that I would always love and treasure you for the rest of my life. I love you with every fiber of myself. I love that you are such a passionate and creative person. Your optimism is so inspiring and refreshing. I absolutely adore that you have such a zest for life, please don’t ever lose it even when life presents its challenges. Your smile and laughter brings me so much bliss and happiness. You manage to bring a smile to my face, even when I am going through a rough time, and for that I am eternally thankful. You are truly my best friend and I am so in love with being your mama. I am so happy that I have been blessed to watch your growth and be apart of every single stage. I am so proud of the person you have become today and you are the greatest child and best friend I could have possibly asked for. I am so glad that you inherited my perseverance. Your ability to keep going despite there being obstacles and difficulties in your path. Your resilience is admirable and you handle your challenges with so much grace. I’ve always known since you were born that you were meant for greatness and that you would accomplish so much life. My angel, I truly admire your independence, grit, intelligence, reliability, and nurturing spirit. with all my love, - your mama

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 6

Number 5 <-

Weiss:*rolls into view*….I’ve returned.

Yang:The bitch is back.

Weiss:Wow! Okay, rude. It’s not like I really left. I was in your streams all the time. I just don’t feel like doing my own after missions.

Yang:And yet somehow you still have more subscribers than me.

Photo Bunny gifted 30 subs

Weiss:Oh my gods! Velvet, thank you so much!

Yang:And the rich get richer!!!

Weiss:She says, knowing I’m not rich anymore.

Yang:And yet the money still pours in. Chat, make her play a horror game for being gone for so long.

“Yes!”

“PLEASE!”

“Alien Isolation.”

Weiss:Absolutely not. We have plans already. I’m just waiting for my co-host.

Yang:What am I then?

Weiss:A person who saw me hit the “live” button and immediately hopped into call to call me a bitch.

Yang:It’s in all in good love.

The Reaper: “Ayo! Look who’s back!”

Yang:Ruby, call Weiss a bitch.

Weiss:I’ll un-mod you. I’ve learned to do that recently.

Ruby: *enters call* Oh gods, chat, she’s learning computers. Tech savvy Weiss is dangerous. Who taught her such power?

Weiss:Your girlfriend.

Ruby:Oh, sorry chat. My girl can do no wrong.

Protector of Friendship: “💚”

Ruby:What’s the gameplan today? “Just chatting?” We can play Uno again.

Weiss:You hate teamwork. I swear you do.

Yang:Sends us on a life threatening mission where trust is needed, just to ruin it a day later.

Thunder Thighs: “How was mission? Everyone okay?”

Weiss:It was just bandits. Lots and lots of them. Unfortunately they ruined a village so most of the expenses went to rebuilding the town.

Yang:Chat, this woman is only on camera right now because her power bill is scaring her. This cute face has a price tag.

Weiss:Hey! I actually missed gaming. It’s oddly relaxing when I don’t listen to Ruby’s suggestions. Or Blake’s.

Ninja of Love: “League actually isn’t that bad.”

Ruby:That’s what I’m saaaaaying!

Yang:Don’t listen to them. They’re ill and can’t be cured.

Weiss:*looks at scroll*…Oh, I’ll be right back. Yang, you’re in charge. *gets up*

Ruby:Why not me?

Weiss:Because Yang doesn’t play League!

Ruby:You two lack vision. The four of us could be our own team! We could grab a few more friends and train for tournaments.

Ren: *enters call* Ruby, you are way too toxic for that. *leaves call*

Yang:Hahahahaha!

Ruby:You can’t just show up to say that!?

Weiss walks back into view rolling a second chair next to her. She’s then handed a coffee cup she gladly sips as she sits back down, all nice and cozy. Sitting next to her is Jaune, chilling in her merch hoodie as he waves.

Jaune:Hello…

“Whaaaat?”

“Oh it’s the guy.”

“Hi Jaaaaaaune!”

“Nerd alert”

“Co-host?”

Yang:I can’t believe you chose the other blonde over me. How cruel. What does he have I don’t?

Jaune:*holds up Kingdom Hearts*

Ninjas of Love: “FINALLY!”

Yang:..I would’ve bought it.

Ruby:Alright, maybe you chose better than Uno.

Weiss:Okay everyone, you can guess tonight’s game. It’s not like it hasn’t won several polls.

Ruby:Oh! Oh! Weiss, sub goal idea! 80 subs and you have to do a cover of the opening!

Weiss:I haven’t even heard it yet!

Jaune:You might like it more than the song from FFX.

Weiss:….

Yang:She’s setting you up for success.

Weiss:…We will circle back to that. Speaking of FFX, same rules apply. I don’t need back-seating from chat. My wonderful co-host here will help manage the stream and aid me with anything I ask.

Blake: *enters call* Jaune, what version is that?

Jaune:It’s from the 1.5 collection, so final mix. Post the patch.

Blake:You’re a good man.

Weiss:Do you want the camera on you or is that uncomfortable?

Jaune:I’m okay. This setup is nice.

Ruby:Questions like these wouldn’t be an issue if you got a VTube model. Penny could hook you up.

Weiss:I only recently learned how to fix normal PC problems. Don’t put that burden on me.

Yang:What does OBS stand for?

Weiss:I saved your life yesterday. What’s your damage with me?

Big Bags & Miniguns: “Is this the mystery boyfriend we’ve been searching for?”

Weiss:Cocoa, you’ve known Jaune forever. He’s always been around as a mod.

Thunder Thighs: “That wasn’t a no.”

Jaune:I literally showed my copy of the game. You all know why I’m here.

Cardinal Pride: “As if she’d date someone as lame as-

Message Deleted

Photo Bunny: “Please remember the chat guidelines before typing”

Ruby:I would’ve blocked him.

Weiss:He gets one more chance. I’m in a good mood.

Jaune:That’s the Kingdom Hearts spirit. *puts disc in*

Weiss:This won’t make me cry like Final Fantasy did, will it?

Blake:Oh….sweetie….

Weiss:*inhales* Great.

Yang:I already made a crude layout for the singing goal. I swear graphic designers should be thankful I like cars and fighting Grimm more.

Jaune:Don’t have any lower goals?

Weiss:I’m 20 away from having to cosplay a character from a game I’ve played. They also get to vote on an emote.

BB&MG: “How many subs for a boyfriend reveal?”

Weiss:…*rubs chin*

Ruby:You’re thinking about it!?

Weiss:I mean I’d have to talk it over with him to see if he’s comfortable with others knowing, but also that goal has to be high enough for Cocoa to be scared.

Jaune:….This game isn’t terribly long, and you have new followers. Personally I’d shoot for no less than 300.

The Monkey King: “Bleed her dry. 350”

BB&MG: “I thought we were friends Sun?”

Weiss:350 it is! After I discuss it of course.

“You’re on!”

“You underestimate our power!”

“I swear if it’s Neptune.”

“Just wait until payday!”

Yang:Like I said, the rich get richer.

[olivia2arsenal]

Lia Walti x Williamson! Reader - Everton

a/n: did say my other fic would be out on sunday but life’s just got really hectic so here’s a smaller one while i finish up with the other one

warnings: none!

————————————

i’ve known wally since forever, her and my older sister, leah, have been best friends since i could remember

just like my sister i had worked my way through the age ranks at arsenal before eventually making my debut at 18

i played along side leah as the cb duo and learnt so much off my older sister

there is a massive gap in our age difference between us two but that’s never really been a problem and if anything made our friendship stronger

wally and i had been seeing each other, much to leah’s dismay, off and on for a few months a couple of years ago before i eventually found the nervous and asked her to be my girlfriend

that’s how we found ourselves here today in a two year relationship and happy as ever

“i’ve got a bad feeling about today” wally said as she came and sat herself in my cubby, myself just finishing getting ready to go out into the tunnel

i knocked my knee against hers

“you’ll be fine wally, what’s making you feel like that?” i asked softly as i slipped my match shirt on

“someone’s going to get injured today” she shook her head, i placed my hand into hers and nudged her chin to look at me

“if it’s really distracting you then tell jonas and i’m sure you can sit this one out” i said softly as she shook her head

“it’s too soon until the match kicks off, i’ll be fine” she said as she pushed herself up and out of my cubby, making her way to the changing rooms door

yet she was far from fine…

—————

i remember every single detail of the injury

we were in the second half, lotte and me as the centre backs because leah was out with an injury

everton were on the outskirts of the box when lia pushed out too apply pressure

i watched her get the ball and start to dribble before aggies went studs up into her ankles

i winced at the tackle, wally immediately collapsing to the floor and letting out a scream

i was still far back from eveyone and could see everything going on, i watched how lotte and katie push aggie while other shouted at her

i got it, if it was another day with a player that wasn’t so young i probably would have done the exact same thing

but this was different, aggie was still learning, she didn’t mean the tackle and clearly was inexperienced

i’ve played with aggie at england and she’s the nicest person ever, she didn’t purposely mean to hurt lia and was just eager to prove herself

i also knew that she was most likely going to receive a lot of hate on social media from this

of course the first thing i wanted to do was make sure lia was alright but i had to make sure aggie was okay and take her away from this situation

i pushed katie and lotte out of the way while also pushing the few others that were letting their anger be known from their words

they had every right to be mad, as a team we were already struggling with injuries and this was another one added to the list

i wrapped my arm around aggie’s shoulder

“come on” i said sofltly as i walked her away from the situation, i could see the tears building up in her eyes as we separated ourselves from the massive group near the box

“i didn’t mean to y/n” she shook her head as she bent down and covered her face

“ay i know aggie, i know” i said as i pulled her back up and pulled her into a hug

“it’s a learning experience okay, wally will be okay and the girls are just caught up in the moment” i reassured her as i felt her nod against my shoulder

“you’re eager to prove yourself, that’s it, you weren’t purposely going for her ankle okay” i added as one of her teammates walked over and smiled gratefully at me

i let her take over as i jogged back over to wally, now my whole attention was on her

“where the fuck have you been?” katie snapped as i bent down next to lia and held her hand, trying to get her to take some of the pain relief

“not the fucking time katie” i said sternly back as lia looked up at me, my face softening when i saw her looking for reassurance in my eyes

“we will get through this together love” i said softly as i brushed some hair out of her face

“lia we are going to have to put you on a stretcher” the physio said as they started to move her onto the stretcher, wally wincing as they did

eventually they lifted her up on the stretcher and started to walk her to the tunnel, fans clapping for wally

aggie received a red card, as expected, and started to make her way to the tunnel- head down clearly still upset from it all

i patted her on the back as she passed me before the match continued, now having to fight the mental battle of wanting to go and see lia

————

i burst into the medical room where wally was, her eyes shooting up to mine and face softening once she saw it was me

“careful you’ll take the door of its hinges” she teased as i made my way over to her, eyes never leaving her ankle

“fuck wally” i muttered as she placed her hand under my chin and moved my eyes to hers

“i’ll be fine” she said softly as there was a knock on the door, both of us turning to the door

“hey, is it okay if i come in?” aggie asked as she popped her head into the room

“of course” wally smiled softly at her

“i just wanted to say sorry, i really never meant to hurt you” aggie apologised as she walked over

“i know you didn’t, i know you eager to prove yourself that’s all” lia reassured her softly

“that’s exactly what y/n said to me” aggie laughed slightly

“great minds thing alike” wally teased

“well i’ll leave you two alone, i just wanted to say sorry” aggie said while wally nodded with a soft smile

i walked aggie to the door, patting her on the shoulder and praising her for how mature she had been with the whole thing

i turned back around once she left and made my way back to wally, finding her hand with mine as we talked- trying to distract ourselves from her injury

“i’m proud of what you did today” wally said softly to me as i gave her a puzzled look

“instead of doing what the rest of the girls did, you looked after aggie and made sure she was okay before you came to me” wally said as she squeezed my hand gently

“i was once in her shoes, having done the exact same thing with the exact same reactions from the other players and it didn’t feel nice at all” i said shaking my head at the memory of when i was younger only just starting my professional career

we could only hope the hate aggie received online was going to be small…

—————————————

a/n: hope you all liked this, it was short but just wanted to get something out quickly!

[yunhogosailing]

So…you want to know more about Korean shipping terminology (and how does this apply to Ateez?)

Luckily, I have spent the better part of six years of my life learning Korean! Which fortunately(?) means that I have learned plenty about the lingo Korean BL fans use re: shipping dynamics. Actually, this makes it SO MUCH easier to navigate websites like Twitter, where NSFW posting is censored for security reasonable. The difference is that English speakers do not have an organized method of referring to the members in their ships (for example, one user might write seongjoong as secngjccng where one might instead write sxxngjxxng, and where another one might even write sngjng, etc etc). But how do Korean speakers handle this situation? What is the context behind all of this? I will provide with you with a fun and easy chart at the end, but first….Let me explain:

Taking you back to the early 2000s

Our setting: the early Korean BL online forums. The terminology originating from these spaces were unsurprisingly heavily influenced by the original sources from which BL manga was derived: the Japanese language. Japanese has a system of Chinese characters used to simplify the writing process known as Kanji. Korean has a similar concept, known as Hanja. Where as Kanji is still heavily utilized to this day for a variety of reasons (my Japanese teacher would always say its main purpose is to minimize the amount of script needed to convey an idea), Hanja has largely fallen out of fashion—used primarily to clarify homophones in text, in literature such as novels and older writings, and as a stylistic choice to depict words such as Death and God, etc.

First, I’m going to give you some terms that are familiar to quite possibly all of you.

Seme (攻め) - the dominant figure in the relationship. Most often, this person will also be depicted as the top.

Uke (受け) - the submissive figure in the relationship. Most often, this person will also be depicted as the bottom.

Are you following so far? Great! In the most stereotypical depiction of homosexual relationships in Manhwa, these roles—the dom top and the sub bottom—reigned supreme so much so that eventually the community fell into the pitfall of believing these four terms to be interchangeable. While simplifying the process of understanding each person’s role in sexual intimacy, it also didn’t lend much of an allowance to explore ideas that defined this view of sexuality. This lack of nuance and flexibility has very little to do with why I’m writing today, but I do want to give some more context as to why these terms became such reliable shorthand.

Anyway…

In Korean BL spaces, these Kanji symbols (攻/受) were directly translated into 공 and 수, respectively. 공 literally means “Ball” but in the context of the Hanja, it means “attack” or “strong”, basically dominant top. 수—“Number”—“to submit” or “to receive”—submissive bottom. Don’t worry, this is the absolute last time I will be explaining these ideas.

How does this work in Korean BL spaces?

Now this may also be familiar to many of you: the placement of each figure in the ship name MATTERS! In SFW spaces, you can get away with referring to Yunho and Mingi as Yungi because….well….platonic friendships aren’t normally referred to by dominance dynamics. In NSFW spaces, specifically dealing with fictional depictions of gay sex, referring to Yunho and Mingi as YunGi will have most people assuming that you mean fanfictions in which Yunho is the top and Mingi is the bottom. Oh, you didn’t? Well, obviously you meant to say MinYun (or MingYun or MingHo, I’ve seen this written all kinds of ways tbh). See what I mean? Now this isn’t always the case—familiarity is everything, so it’s not uncommon to see Wooyoung and San referenced as WooSan, no matter who is intended to be the top.

In Korean, ship names are almost always written in order of placement. For example, 윤낫 (we will get into why the Hangul in San’s name is reversed later) would refer to a Yunho x San pairing where Yunho is the top and San is the bottom. Likewise, 낫윤 would imply the exact opposite. Anyone want to take a stab at what 밍웡 means? How about 섷쫑?

2010-2024, A minor shift in focus

As the spaces for these conversations grow and change with time, as did the terminology used to describe shipping dynamics and pairings.

If you are a fourth and fifth gen K-pop stan, you know what a coupling, or chemi, name is. Korean fans who did either did not want to discuss their idols in a romantic/sexual manner, or otherwise wanted some way to differentiate a typical shipping name from a platonic pairing name, developed the concept of using a chemi name instead. For Ateez, these would be:

E-Kang-Mo (에강모) / Yunho and Yeosang - the shortened version of 에이티즈 강아지 모임, literally translating into the Gathering of Ateez Puppies.

Matz (맏즈) / Seonghwa and Hongjoong - TWO MEN WE’RE ON FIRE 위험해‼️‼️‼️ Shortened version of 맏형 which literally translates into Oldest brothers. This quite obviously refers to our two oldest members within the group.

Elsewhere, you may come across 삼복즈, Jiwoong and Yujin from ZEROBASEONE. Or 채채즈, Chaewon and Eunchae from LE SSERAFIM. Usually this name is derived from some personality aspect or moment the two idols share, and can be given organically by fans or by the idols themselves. They are used strictly by both Korean and international fans as a means of referring to these idols and their friendships. It’s still possible that you find a fan who skips the whole “having to learn a completely different unit name” thing and just uses the traditional pairing name (I know, because I’m one of them), and in this case you can likely tell exactly when they first got into K-pop.

During this decade, shippers developed two more terms to further break down sexual dynamics, this time focusing on top/bottom. 왼 is the Korean directional word for “left”, and in the context of BL, means top. For bottom, Koreans use a shortened version of the directional word for “right”—른. I am not entirely sure whether the general consensus seems to be that these terms are still strictly tied to the idea of a dominant top and a submissive bottom, as most of the resources I used to search for these terms waffled on the subject.

In practice, 웡왼 will refer to shippings in which Wooyoung is a top (I searched for this on Twitter and came up unsurprisingly short….) and 쫑른 is in reference to shippings where Jongho is a bottom!

Enough Already!! Just give us the tags!!

Loud and clear, boss. However, I just need a bit more contextual information out there before I finally get into the list:

Variations - there are few variations that exist within the Korean shipping fandom, save for instances in which another pairing could possibly exist within a different group.

Censorship - Korean fans are also heavy on making sure these posts do not make it into the hands of Ateez themselves (see: the chaos that happened when San stumbled across self-insert fiction written by K-Atiny). Member names are not written properly, and will always be altered in some way as a means of masking it from normal search results. Please pay attention to this!

Pronunciation - some letters are altered in the pairing names as a means to aid with pronunciation. This is sort of an intuitive thing with Korean, so I’m not sure how to explain this in a better way.

And now…the list!

Here’s how to follow the chart:

Reading from the top down, you will find the 른—or pairings where the member is the bottom. For example, Seonghwa’s column reads:

홍섷 - Hongjoong x Seonghwa

윤섷 - Yunho x Seonghwa

솽섷 - Yeosang x Seonghwa

낫섷 - San x Seonghwa

밍섷 - Mingi x Seonghwa

웡섷 - Wooyoung x Seonghwa

쫑섷 - Jongho x Seonghwa

Likewise, reading the chart horizontally will provide you with the 왼—or pairings where the member is the top. For example, Mingi’s row reads:

밍섷 - Mingi x Seonghwa

솜몽 - Mingi x Hongjoong

밍윦 - Mingi x Yunho

솜여 - Mingi x Yeosang

밍낫 - Mingi x San

밍웡 - Mingi x Wooyoung

솜쫑 - Mingi x Jongho

Additionally, adding (Member name)른/왼 will provide you more general posts where Korean fans are discussing the idol as a top or a bottom in general without referring to a specific ship.

Hongjoong: 홍왼 + 홍른

Seonghwa: 섷왼 + 섷른

Yunho: 윦왼/윤왼 + 윦른/윤른

Yeosang: 솽왼 + 솽른

San: 낫왼 + 낫른

Mingi: 밍왼 + 밍른

Wooyoung: 웡왼 + 웡른

Jongho: 쫑왼 + 쫑른

Thank you for reading! I hope this was as useful for you as it was for me! Of course, I knew a lot of history regarding this topic due to the ample time I spent reading BL, but I will admit that I did not have much time to research this topic specifically. However, if you have any corrections to make, let me know!! This was so much fun for write, and maybe I can do something similar to this in the future as well.

Bye!

[cherri-ying]

Sing for me, little Nightingale (Yan! Scaramouche x Reader)

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56024689

Felines are deserving of their accolades. Merit embodies their nimble spines and ductile limbs; bodies like pliable sand, threading their way through knots, twists, cavities and labyrinths. The prince of the hunt flexes and swipes his talons and his victims are swift to falter, their necks wringed and their spines contorted in ways that are unnatural to their physicality.

“I’ve got you now.”

At times, though, even a cat doesn't remain undefeated.

“How stupid are you to think that a cheap disguise would work against me?” He almost sounds amused, his words an arctic hiss against your ear. Reaching up, Scaramouche claws at the thick cloak that veils your face and tears it to your shoulders. Your hair is quick to mime the departed elements, hanging in disarray across your face. A mantilla of unkempt tresses, veiling whatever thoughts sketch your visage.

The Balladeer regards the sight of your person with a sort of contemptuous delight. Forcefully knelt at his feet with your wrists bound behind you and your head drooped in defeat—or in pensiveness. It's a shame Zapolyarny is so devoid of windows. What light finds it's way into these all-too familiar stone chambers is too sparse to see what expression you're making.

“Well? Say something. Or have I rendered you incapable of speech?”

Tentatively—begrudgingly—you tip your head back, back, back until your irises lock with the hypnotic indigo tinctures belonging to the puppet who leers dauntingly above you. Locks of such a hue that only you could wear part like the red sea, revealing a thin, perhaps solemn, ambiguous smile—the last expression the harbinger could anticipate. Or desire.

“Thwarted again, hm?” You chuckle and it sounds like frost, “and I even took extensive measures to conceal my tracks. No good?”

“Failures are bound to repeat themselves.” Scaramouche doesn't nuisance himself with that syrupy facade he wears to rope his targets right between his molars. Malice is a noisome stench in the air as he adds, “This is the seventh time I’ve had to retrieve you. I'd figure you’d have learned your lesson by now, but time after time you insist on making yourself a burden to fetch.”

“There's no harm in trying, is there?” You maintain that strange curve on your plush lips. It’s difficult to tell what you're thinking, or feeling.

“‘No harm’, yet you delude yourself into believing that a time would come when you could successfully evade me. I wonder how long it’ll take until those dreams of yours crumble and die.”

“You know, there’s a word for what you are,” you state after a thoughtful pause. “I think it’s called: overbearing.”

What a strange person, with a strange smile. Normally, Scaramouche would meet such defiance by smiting his poor victim to dust within the blink of an eye. In your displays of resolve, though, the invincible harbinger finds himself crouching to your level, trailing a slender hand against your windpipe. How easily he could squeeze the life from your throat until you begs for reprieve; choke you of your indignation. Instead, he allows it to linger there without purpose, applying no pressure, grasping nothing.

“And there’s a word for what you are.” He nearly whispers. Difficult. Stubborn. Irrevocably his. “Irrational, when I only want what’s best for you. And what’s best for you, is to offer me your complete submission.”

“Even though I’d sooner offer my life than yield to you?” A new tone makes itself heard in your cadence. Such words, such simple, few words, reveal what lingers beneath your otherwise indifferent facade.

Sagacious. Provocative. Challenging.

Of course, you're testing the boundaries of Scaramouche's resolve, as he does with yours. Suddenly, the atmosphere is taut and palpable with tension for what may become of the future.

Sly, sly little songbird.

Something most unanticipated happens, and you reveal your hands, which you freed from their binds. Maybe it shouldn’t surprise Scaramouche, what with your prowess in the art of escape, but regardless your smile stretches in the presence of the astonishment that lifts his eyebrows and makes his eyes flash white, if only briefly. You take your time observing such a paltry display of rare, raw, emotion, how it shapes the contours of his features at the command of your actions. And gently, you take his hand that graces your throat and tenderly place it on your cheek.

"Ah... You've always been this way, haven't you, Kunikuzushi? Since the very day fate first connected your eyes to mine? " You slant your head into his cold hand with all the fragility of a shedding lotus petal descending into a reservoir, resting your cheek against his cold, liquid touch. Although, the action is far from affectionate. Rather, it's reminiscent of a sort of obstinacy, wearing the facade of love.

"You pine for my heart like you're starved for my flesh.” You take his hand and pass it through your cloak, poising it on your chest, right above your pumping heart.

"But... Perhaps I have no heart to offer you. What then? What will you do when you realize, there is no flesh to pick from my bones? No heart beneath my ribs?"

Scaramouche trudges through your words, running them across his mind. No plausible answer makes itself seen. He relinquishes his hand from your chest.

A cat may not have wings, but it is unrelenting.

“If you have no heart…” He murmurs, before smiling a bitter smile, “Then I’ll make you learn how to love.” how to love him. “I’ll create a heart in the shape of my love, and then I’ll take it. By force if I must.”

"You're willing to create something, just to seize and destroy it..." His words taste like blood upon your tongue. Strange. Carrying pleasantry and uncanniness in a sordid congruence. your lips falter from their smile.

"What a rotten soul you have... When will you realize that your avarice will be your demise?"

A wry, perhaps relenting chuckle emerges from your throat. Then you sigh.

"Perhaps we were made for each other." “

Then why do you run from me? Why do you fight, when you’re meant to be mine?” He asks, vehement, pertinacious.

"But that is where you're mistaken, Scaramouche. You see—” You direct your pointer finger to his chest, resting it in the junction between his collarbones.

“—You're tenacious in pursuing me. But I'm," You points at herself, "Tenacious in avoiding you. We are made for each other like the same ends of two magnets. The same, yet destined to be apart."

There it is, another one of your challenging remarks. The chirping nightingale wriggles free and unfurls it's wings, just as the cat thinks the bird is trapped beneath its paws. And oh, how infuriating, how exhilarating you are. Hatred is a simmering tempest that ignites the harbinger's temper. He despises how affixed he is to you, to the thought of trapping you beneath his claws, only for you to fly free and rejoice your liberation in song. It's petty. It's pathetic. It's irresistible. The Balladeer scoffs.

“Is this all just a game of push and pull to you? Just how long are you willing to avoid me?”

 “How long are you willing to pursue me?”

“Until you submit to me.”

“Then, until you set me free.”

Scaramouche can only watch as you put on your hideous, inhuman, anomalistic smile. Fine, then. If nothing else, he’ll build you a gilded cage to lure you into a golden prison disguised as a paradise. He’ll rip your wings from your body, flesh and bone marrow hanging in loose tendrils, so to erase all notions of flying free from your unreadable mind that he tends to make his possession, until you’re bleeding so sweetly beneath his claws. His beautiful songbird, who sings in the shape of his love.

Because you were made for him. He, the heartless one, who wishes for a heart. For your heart, which you are't willing to offer. Which you wish you never had.

You’re the only one who believes he still has a soul; that he ever had one, rotten as it may be.

Scaramouche cannot let that go. Regardless of how many times you flee from his talons, he will find you and chase you to the very ends of this earth.

Fly away, little singing nightingale.

[teamfreewill58]

Atem Leaving Was Wrong

Like many other members of the fandom I have a lot of thoughts about Atem going to the afterlife at the end of the series and also a lot of issues with it. I watched it straight through recently and it’s just so clear that it was not the right thing for Atem and also a really shitty way for the story to treat him. Let’s for a moment ignore the weird sudden push of “it’s not right for souls to remain with the living” that Ishizu kept insisting on and then claimed that’s what Yugi was telling Atem through the monster reborn card (which by the way could have been taken another way but I’ll get to that later.) The main reason the story insists on Atem returning to the afterlife is because it’s supposed to signify that Yugi has grown up and grown into himself as a person and no longer needs to rely on Atem the way that he did for a good portion of the series. “If I don’t become stronger, my other self can never leave my soul”. (Yugi Episode 221 8:18)

But the issue with this is that Atem--just like Yugi--is a person and people don’t just peace out of your life because they’ve taught you an important lesson or helped you grow. Yes, Atem and Yugi taught each other and helped each other grow, but that’s not a reason for Atem to leave.

What they learn from each other isn’t going to suddenly get negated because Atem stays--if anything it would create a new growing experience for Atem and Yugi because now they have a different dynamic and relationship that they would have to figure out and try to navigate. 

So, back to Ishizu’s “it’s not right for the dead to stay with the living” and “that’s what Yugi is saying to Atem” by putting Monster Reborn in Gold Sarcophagus during the final duel. First off, this doesn’t apply to Atem because he didn’t die. His spirit was used to seal Zorc and as we’ve seen again and again throughout Yu-gi-oh a character’s spirit no longer being inside their body doesn’t mean they’ve died. Characters have lost their souls multiple times and had it put back in a body. Atem’s body is never mentioned and neither is the notion that his mummy is in his tomb. Second, Ishizu is making a whole lot of assumptions for people she hardly even knows. When Yugi reveals the card, Ishizu thinks, “Yugi is sending Atem a message. The soul of the dead must not remain in the world of the living.” (Episode 224 14:33) But no, Yugi isn’t sending Atem a message. And if he is, it's not the one Ishizu says he’s sending. He’s playing the game. “I knew you were going to do that, my other self. Because if I were you, I’d summon a God too.” (Episode 224 13:29) Showcasing how well Yugi and Atem know each other and have gotten to know each other and that Yugi has developed new skills. If we are to interpret it as Yugi giving Atem a message I’d say it’s Yugi saying what he’s said the whole duel, “I’ve grown and you’ve made me better and we both have been reborn”. But it is NOT Yugi telling Atem he needs to leave because Yugi and Atem have stated and showed again and again and again that they want to stay together whether that’s in separate bodies or the same one. In episode 52, right after the Millennium Puzzle got smashed and Yugi is home from the hospital Atem and Yugi talk:  

Atem: Thank you. You risked your life to assemble the Millennium Puzzle during the fire.

Yugi: It was Jonouchi and Honda who saved us.

Atem: You’re right. We have great friends.

Yugi: Yes.

Atem: What are you thinking about? (7:21-8:01)

Yugi: Who are you really? I want to know. 

Atem: Why?

Yugi: Why? Because….

Atem: I don’t know anything.

Yugi: Huh?

Atem: I knew you would ask me eventually. And I planned to answer honestly. I don’t know my name or where I came from. I don’t have any memories.I don’t know who I am. (13:07-13:39)

Yugi: Sorry. I should’ve never brought it up, so let’s not talk about it again. 

Atem: The one thing I know is that I only exist because you hold the Millennium Puzzle.

Yugi: That’s enough.

Atem: But I-

Yugi: I said enough!

Atem: I want to stay with you forever. I don’t care if I never get my memories back.

Yugi: I also want to be with you forever. I’m willing to give you all my memories. (20:27-21:11)

I do feel like its very important to point out here that Yugi is in a heightened emotional state. He was caught in a fire, the Millennium Puzzle was shattered, shattering his connection to Atem and based off how Yugi is sitting on the bed staring at the puzzle hugging his legs--in addition to the fact that he is thinking about reassembling the puzzle in the fire---he didn’t know that Atem was still inside the puzzle until Atem initiated this particular conversation.

Yugi’s clearly been sitting here also thinking about the fact that Atem isn’t another personality of his or anything along those lines because he says “Who are you really?” He then feels a mix of emotions when Atem admits he planned to answer honestly but doesn’t know anything about himself. He feels guilt because he apologizes and says he should never have brought it up and then tries to completely close the conversation “so let’s not talk about it again”. And then he gets upset when Atem adds “I only exist because you hold the Millenium Puzzle.” Because this drives home that if the puzzle had got destroyed or lost in the fire Atem would have really been lost forever and that scares Yugi. At this point in the story it scares Yugi to realize that Atem can leave or be taken away. I suspect that if Yugi hadn’t cut Atem off he would have said “But I do want to know who I am.” However he doesn’t finish it because Yugi cuts him off and Atem picks up just how distressed Yugi is which is why he doesn’t finish his statement and switches to reassuring Yugi that he wants to stay with him.

Atem wants to stay with Yugi but he also wants to know who he is but now he can’t talk about it with Yugi because he’s seen it upset Yugi and this is part of why he’s depressed in the following episode. Yugi mentions “My other self seems depressed these days. He won’t open up to me.” (Episode 53 2:48) 

Atem also confirms to Anzu:

“We both don’t know where we want to go. Who am I? Where did I come from? And I don’t know where I’m going. But it’s fine. I’m fine as is.” (Episode 53 5:28-5:49)

Atem: My dreams…But I can keep the status quo by not pursuing my dreams. 

Anzu: You’re really fine with that?

Atem: I want to know more about myself. I want to know where I should go. But if I keep the status quo, I can stay in his heart forever. And that’s also what he wants.” (episode 53 10:34-10:56)

Here Atem confirms that he wants to know who he is but that he also meant it when he said he wanted to stay with Yugi, for him it’s not a “I have to choose one or the other it’s I want both of these and plan to do what I can to have both.” He doesn’t say “I want to go where I’m supposed to” he just wants to know what that place is. He further confirms in episode 54 “My partner doesn’t know that I saw the tablet today. Can you keep the tablet and what Ishizu said a secret? Even if I get my memories back I don’t know if I can stay with my partner. I don’t want him to worry for no reason. We always build my deck together. His soul makes up half of this deck. When he truly understands me, this deck will unleash its true power.”  (episode 54 17.20)

Again Atem being mindful of Yugi’s fears and concerns that were brought up the previous night but also reaffirming that he wants to stay with Yugi. Then also adding that without his memories Yugi--and honestly, no one--- can truly understand him and that’s something that he wants. 

When Ishizu gives them the Millennium Necklace they have this conversation shortly after: 

Atem: You can’t sleep? (19:00 Episode 95)

Yugi: The other me.

Atem: What are you thinking about?

Yugi: Well….When we gather all the Millennium Items…I’ll eventually have to go to Egypt and place them in the tablet of memories. That’s my role as the vessel for your soul. When that time comes…Let’s go to sleep! Tomorrow is the finals.

Atem: Yeah. (19:38)

*Yugi then turns on his side so Atem can’t see him and cries.*

Atem: Partner… (19:40 Episode 94)

This scene in particular we can tell from Yugi and Atem’s expressions that they still don’t want to do this, Yugi looks incredibly sad about it and look at the shot of Atem when Yugi is saying “That’s my role as the vessel of your soul.” (12:20 Episode 94) he’s listening attentively but its just so clear in his expression that leaving isn’t what he wants. In their final duel it's mentioned that Atem's pride as a duelist won't let him just lose and Yugi does have some inflections here but unlike Ishizu Yugi does know Atem.

Literally spelled out right here, even on the day of the final duel, his "one chance" to go to the afterlife and Atem and Yugi both don't want him to go. Yugi picks up on this and also admits it in these pages.

The only reason they are doing this is because we have a character who keeps insisting that the dead shouldn't be with the living, that the Millennium Items need to be sealed away, and that if Atem doesn't go he'll be stuck there for eternity.

But the Millennium Items DON'T need to be sealed away anymore. When Atem accepts the Ring from Jonouchi he looks at it and goes, "There's no evil inside the Millennium Ring." (4:19 Ep 220) Zorc is defeated, that means all the Millennium Items are now just gold artifacts. They are EMPTY. Let's not forget the entire process Atem had to use in order to seal Zorc in the Milennium Ring, it isn't as though someone can come by and just infuse it with new darkness. Hell they still could have put them in the tablet, Atem and Yugi have the duel so that they can know Yugi and Atem have grown and are better and the place still collapses after Atem decides he doesn't want to go.

The Atem being stuck there for eternity if he doesn't do it now. Why? What lore says he'll be stuck there? This is an additional arbitrary rule that just got thrown in so that he'd have to leave. When they have the final duel Atem and Yugi split and Atem clearly has a body. His soul is no longer attached to the Puzzle because the Puzzle is in the tablet. Even if he can't have his own body it's clarified that Yugi IS Atem's vessel so why can't Atem and Yugi just share the same body and switch as they have been? It's incredibly unfair to Atem who not only barely had a childhood because he became Pharaoh at 15 AND got sealed but his time with Yugi is very very short, its like a year to little over a year? Yes Atem probably misses his family and friends from Egypt but he also deserved to have an actual life and it's just cruel and fucked up that he gets taken away from the people he loves twice. The first time he had a say and it was his choice but the second and final time he was literally forced by the narrative and it is just such a bullshit way to treat such a good character.

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

gunna have a video of me feeding my feedee up on my onlyfans soon. i’m thinking about starting it back up while i take a break from college because it was kind of empowering to get to own my kink in such a way. I also enjoy sharing that side of myself with all of you. subscription price will be between $8-$10/mo since my feedee is going to be collaborating with me on certain pieces of content. i will maybe begin gaining again once i get my health back in check, we’ll see. i want my muscle mommy build back, and to get that back i’ll have to pack on some weight. so we’ll see what happens with that. ;)

in the meantime and between-time, stay safe. especially on the internet. all of my old rules still apply for messaging me, but i will gradually get back to making regular content and posts. now that i am taking a break from school, i’m working more, but I also have free time on my hands when i’m not working. it feels really nice to get back into the swing of things. I’ve missed you all and I’ve missed the positive aspects of this community.

going forward, i’m just going to block people who talk shit to me or delete their comments (unless it’s of actual importance to discuss). i’m just done engaging with that shit. idk, i’m on new medication that seem to be actually working and i feel stable, so i feel ready to re-embrace this community with open arms.

a special thank you to everyone who continued engaging with me and communicating with me during my break. i appreciate all of your kind words more than you know, and if i didn’t respond to you it was because i didn’t want the answer to “hey how are you?” to be “i’m miserable. how are you?”. but I saw all of you - each and every message, comment, text, etc. - and i just want to say thank you. the people who still proceeded to message me with positivity are the reason I have decided I want to come back.

With all that being said, I hope you will all accept me back. I understand that some of you were upset that I left and didn’t understand my reasonings, but I hope we can reconcile our differences and i can gain your trust again. I’m not the angry person that I became when responding to hate messages, and that also influenced my time away. I could see that my demeanor on this hellsite was changing and I was getting more upset, angry and, honestly, afraid of going on here (let alone posting myself on here). However, that has changed. I’ve been working on being more optimistic and caring less about the negative opinions of others. Frankly, if someone doesn’t like me or my content they should just be an adult about it and either reach out to discuss that or ignore me. If they can’t do that, I believe they are childish and need to get a grip. There are some key things I’ve learned in life that I want to share with people who are as I described above:

- your comfort is not someone else’s responsibility. if it makes you uncomfortable, then don’t engage. It’s as simple as that.

- no one has to cater to your interests. everyone lives on their own agenda. your wants and desires do not take priority over the wants and desires of others. sure, there are some people who will cater to your every wish, but i’m definitely not one of them.

- similarly to above, your desires do not take priority over someone’s health. that includes both mental health and physical health. (death feedism is a thing if you are interested in someone wanting to gain while not caring about their health. this is not a death feedism page and i suggest you go search in the tags for that if it is what you are looking for. I do not want to kill my feedee, nor do I want him or I to gain enough weight to become immobile or at risk in any way. As hot as the idea is to me at times, we are both too active and work in active careers for that to be a realistic possibility for us. maybe someday i’ll get a stay at home job and get really big, or maybe someday he will. only time can tell. sorry for the length, i’m high. i’ll stfu now.

- people don’t care. no stranger online owes it to you to care that you don’t like their body, or that you don’t like this or that. it doesn’t matter because that person does not know you. there’s no point in wasting time caring about your negative comment unless it’s actually useful and constructive commentary.

So anyways, i’m back in business again. gonna post some FA art soon + start uploading to my OF again. I thank any of you who read this far and again I hope you can accept me back into the community.

Thanks,

Nico

[swollenbabyfat]

How did you come to draw and paint the way you do? What inspirations do you pull from? All of your art oozes with some strange, almost ethereal emotion I've not quite seen anywhere else, something similar to what I'd like to capture with my own works.

I’ve always had a bit of a hard time answering this bc like…I honestly think aesthetic/inspirational/taste stuff is a library you build up over your whole life, or maybe a closet that you try things on to see what does and doesn’t work for you. My biggest advice to this kinda stuff is to experiment a lot and take in a lot of media in a purposeful way, and try to actively apply things you like about said medias to your work. And don’t just consume stuff within your field, I take inspiration from a ton of stuff that isn’t art. I also recommend having somewhere to keep a kind of reserve of inspo, wether it be on tumblr or Pinterest or what have you.

So with that being said I’ll try to sum up what I can about myself.

I’m a horror lover, have been since I was (too) young. I’ve consumed a ton of horror movies, read a lot of books, and certainly have digested a lot of art about it. I am a bit of a haunted person haha, and I’ve always really attached myself to horror, and with some exception to just purely cute stuff I truly am always thinking about it with my work. I am not really aiming to make people feel comfortable with my stuff, in fact often the opposite, but many feel understood anyways which feels nice. I don’t think horror for horrors sake is always as fufilling to me, it always pulls from something internal that I’ve been wrestling with or are afraid of myself.

I am classically trained in fine art due to the kind of art program my highschool had (magnet program if that means anything to anyone), it was incredibly good and I always feel so lucky I got to go there. Bc of this I learned a lot of techniques in painting as well as the fundamental of art. I don’t think my art would be the way it is without this training, but I also think with how the internet is now you can probably do the same thing at your own pace, just have to be dedicating a decent amount of time and mental energy into it.

Bc of my highschool training I also learned about art history, which had a big impact on me, particularly renaissance, baroque, and rococo. Religious imagery as well had a huge impact on me, particularly catholic (probs cause we learned about it it the most). I would say doing master studies with these would be a huge help.

I would say it’s important to me that each “full” illustration tells a story of sorts, I can’t really help it, I’m a story teller at heart. I use a lot of symbolic imagery, I pull a lot from religious imagery but also within fruit, flowers, personal objects… I think “what am I trying to say with this work” and kind of go from there with what I choose. Make your own personal symbolism language.

There’s like this certainty digital painting aesthetic I really enjoy by niche furry artist lol, many of them really nsfw so I don’t feel comfortable linking to them. It’s like…highly detailed well rendered pieces that they make with literally one brush that is often without any kind of pen pressure, just layering things with opacity. It’s crazy and yeah idk they’re definitely up there in inspo for me.

I really really care about fashion. Lolita was my first love in terms of clothing, and I pull a ton of inspiration from it, but also a lot of other street styles and runways stuff. I like drama and frills.

I play with my art and stories in a way that I don’t know how to describe other than childlike. It’s important for me to do so in my process, but basically, I let my imagination run wild, I talk to my characters, I listen to music and think about them. A lot of my bigger pieces take a lot of time of me thinking about them ahead a time, I draw in my head a lot. Sketchbooks are a huge help in this.

I thiiiiiink that’s all I have to say for now…I could probably list a million things but this feels like a good core to start with. I hope it’s not too vague, but I’m always good to keep answering stuff like this if you wanna know about one part in depth.

[thatbanditqueen]

Basic Training Chapter 7

Mad love to my alpha @whositmcwhatsit seriously your editing and feedback make this so much better. Also love and special thanks to my lovely elvis coven, @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @peskybedtime @from-memphis-with-love @missmaywemeetagain @powerofelvis @be-my-ally @shakerattlescroll @lookingforrainbows and to @ab4eva for her sweetness, you were the only person to ask me about Bess on tumblr between now and the last chapter and I was like oh, I guess someone is still reading this. Which is good. Because I am still writing it. ;)

Thanks to everyone who reads this, shares, reblogs, leaves a comment or whatever. I write for myself, but I publish for community, and I don't think I could write with out your support and friendship.

Summary: Bess resigns to get over Elvis and move on, but he has other plans.

Warnings: Not much, depictions of mental illness/delusion.

WC: 6.5 K

If you need to catch up Chapter Six: Guided Missiles or the masterlist here Basic Training

Click here if you prefer to read on A03

Chapter 7: The Minefield

12:15 p.m., Friday,  April 24th, 1958

Commissioned Officer’s Mess

Army Intelligence Training Unit, Fort Hood, TX

“I thought you were applying to law school?”

Bess let her straw drop out of her mouth to meet James’ concerned stare across the mahogany table.

“Um, I changed my mind.” Her eyes dropped back to her chocolate egg cream and she paused for a moment. The sound of glasses clinking and hushed conversations reverberated through the Army Intelligence officer’s club. “I kinda dropped the ball on writing my sample essay. And,ugh, I haven't been able to focus at all on studying for the entrance exam.” Bess trailed her shoe anxiously across the burgundy carpet, she hated admitting that she had given up on lawyer school. “It’s just temporary, a temporary pause.  No, for now, I think a year or two working for the state department is the best next step. I’ve always wanted to spend time in Europe..”

“But Helsinki, Bess?” James reached over to comfort her with a hand squeeze, but she pulled loose and went back to eating her pot roast lunch.

“Finland is a stepping stone.I could be working in Berlin next summer. And Helsinki has a lot of international action. It’s right next to St. Petersburg.”

“This sudden need to go to the coldest burg in Europe wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain tall, dark soldier who’s been doing extra laps around the barracks every day, would it?”

Bess lifted her thick, white cotton napkin to obscure the blush spreading up her cheeks. “I saw that he’s had extra PT, I’ve been wondering what happened.”

“Oh? I thought for sure that was all you and your front office connections, getting back at Presley — “

“Jameson, I would never abuse my position in the Front Office for revenge. You know how basic training is. Drill sergeants use any excuse to tear you apart just so they can build you back up again. He probably was late to inspection, or maybe he tried to protest extra push ups, and now it’s marathon time everyday til he’s learned his lesson.”

“Hmmm, must be. Though I don’t feel even the teensiest twinge of sympathy for him after that stunt he pulled on you? Think it would look suspicious if he got run over by a jeep? In his barracks?” James winked at Bess/

“Ha, just say you made a wrong turn.” Bess chuckled, but her smile quickly faded into a sigh.

She speared a potato with her fork, looking at it as if it had the answer to life’s secrets like a magic eight ball. Maybe all she needed to do was turn potato over and around until it revealed her fate. Sadly, no messages turned up, and she laid it back on her plate. 

“Thing is, I knew he had other girlfriends. I just wished he’d called and canceled our plans instead of leaving me hanging to find out another way. The most humiliating way.”

“Maybe he couldn’t get away to call? Or forgot your number? Have you seen him at all?”

Bess shook her head, sipping her drink again. “Uh uh. But I’ve been avoiding him. What am I supposed to say? It hurt my feelings that you put the kibosh on our night together for a pajama party with one of your steady girlfriends?“ Her eyes met James. “But, uh, he knows my number, though. He called that Monday, after she left town. And several other times.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know, I have Kay on switchboard duty. She has strict instructions to inform male callers that I’m not home.”

“You oughta talk to him, honey, let him have it.”

“I’d rather not, I  - I, it was, uh. The whole thing felt so icky, I never want to feel that way again. It took me back to last summer and Be. Except, this time, I’m the other woman and I know all about his girlfriend back in Memphis.” Bess put down her fork, unable to eat anymore.  “I think my picker is broken, James. I’m destined to be alone.”

“But are you supposed to be alone in Helsinki?”

“I’m actually excited to be single in Helsinki.” James raised his eyebrows. “What? The city is is pretty hip!They just hosted the Olympics. Lots of people live there from all over the world. After Berlin, it is one of the top hubs for working with the Ruskies.”

“Ok, ok, I get it, you hussy, you’ll probably be able to play patty cake with an assortment of good looking European men. I just can’t believe you are abandoning me, it’s so selfish. I’m almost ready to swear I’ll never buy another Presley record.”

“I’m not leaving because of him!” Bess huffed at the way James arched his eyebrow higher and straightened her napkin over her skirt. Aggressively. “I swear, how many times do I have to tell you, he’s just helped me get the perspective I needed. The straw that broke the camel’s back. I gotta get out of this place before I wind up like Mabel.”

 James sniffed as he motioned to the waiter. “Mabel seems happy, could be worse.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not. But you might be out of here before me. I only just sent in my application materials, you know how these civilian posts can be. If I make the first cut, I still have to do a round of phone interviews,an in-person one, a thorough background check. Why, I probably won’t head out until the summer. If I get it.”

James quirked his mouth and whistled when they stood to leave and shook his head.

“Seems like such a waste to store all your resources behind a desk. Should be out, serving our country at USO shows.”

Bess slapped James shoulder, then straightened his jacket, smoothing her hand over his medals.

“Jameson, stop. Do you talk to the debutantes back in Rhode Island like this? You know, half the officers in here are probably my father’s spies. Keep whistling at me like that, they’ll convince him we’re an item.” She grabbed her purse and put her gloves back on. “Besides, I am not exactly the type who likes performing or attention.:

He looked her over once again, making an exaggerated show of appreciation for the way that Bess’ smart tweed pencil skirt hugged her hips.

“Oh, but that’s what makes you such a knockout, Bessie Girl. Why don’t we get married, huh? We could travel the world together, life would never be boring. We’d have great looking, smart kids.”

Bess put her finger to James’ lips, looking into the hazel eyes that glimmered below his perfectly coiffed honey blonde hair.

“I wish I could. I can’t marry someone I don’t love, not in the way I love you anyway.It’s no good, we’d end up ruining our friendship.”

James slid his arm through Bess’ as he led them out of the officer’s club. “I suppose you’re right, Schwartz, but if you ever get desperate and want to be married to a dashing officer who’d never leave you for another woman, the offer stands.”

“This is no time to be getting married, Jameson. I’m sure you’ll want to enjoy the local flavor in Heidelberg.”

“Hmm, yeah, no matter the gene pool, it’s gotta be better than this dump.”

Bess smoothed her hair once they were outside and turned to James. He looked so handsome in his dashing officer’s uniform, cap under his arm. He was probably the best looking, wealthiest man to ever propose to her, even in jest. She really would miss him once they left Fort Hood. Bess gripped James arm tighter before they parted, and smiled.

“No kidding, I can’t wait to put Fort Hood and Elvis and everything in my rear view mirror. Get a fresh start in gorgeous, romantic Helsinki-town, city of dreams.”

“I thought that was Paris?”

“Nope, pretty sure it’s Helsinki.  Though I understand why you’re confused, Helsinki is the Paris of the Baltic Sea.”

“No one calls it that.”

“Sure they do, I’m starting it now.”

James smiled, fixing his uniform cap back on his head. “Ha, ok. Well, as they say in Helsinki, au revoir.”

*********************************************

Bess’ fresh start suddenly seemed a million miles away when she glimpsed Elvis Presley running round the base. It had only taken a few minutes after she got into her father’s Oldsmobile before she recognized Elvis’ tall, perspiring figure jogging around the circular track behind the PX. There he was, in his sweat-soaked tee-shirt, dog tags jingling over his chest, running towards them in the dusk of sunset. 

It struck her for a moment how odd it was for the drill sergeants to have him do laps out here on the road near the gate instead of closer to the 37th tank division. They must be making a public example of him, she thought, having him do laps out here as people drive past on a main road out of the base. 

It was working, he looked absolutely miserable and exhausted. The cold grimace he had fixed on his face pulled on Bess’ heartstrings, and she felt a compulsory urge to go comfort him. But then she remembered why she’d cut him loose, and nodded to herself, reaffirming how wise she was protecting herself from further heartache. It wasn’t easy. 

She got so captivated watching him take off his cap and wipe his forehead as they got closer, that she suddenly realized he was about to run by her car and had to quickly duck down flat against the bench seat to avoid being seen.

“Ilsa, whatever are you doing?”

Bess popped up with a squeak, looking over her shoulder at Elvis’ figure running away behind them, then stuttered to her father. “I, um, I dropped my lipstick on the floor is all, Papa.” 

Dinner was pleasant enough. Mama served tuna noodle casserole and followed it with a cherry cream cheese jello mold. It was comforting to Bess to think these were recipes any other family on the block might be eating tonight. Though she doubted whether the other mothers were wearing a matching red dress and explaining the deep meaning behind the color red, and how powerful color it is, one that can provide all the strength and nourishment they needed. Bess did concede that cherry Jell-O tasted like what she thought the color red might taste like. 

And if a lecture on the spiritual nature of red Jell-o was the most occult Mama got tonight, then tonight was a good night. 

After eating, Bess changed into a more comfortable, simple light blue house dress, and was trying to calculate how long it had been since Mama had one of her episodes as she walked downstairs, when she heard Kay on the phone.

“Well, no Rex, I guess I’m not doing anything. Well, sure, gee whiz, yeah, I know a few friends who’d flip their lids at the chance. You bet, meet you there at 8!”

Bess turned the corner at the bottom of the landing, and gripped the polished circular handrail as Kay spun around with a wide, beaming grin. Her sister halted suddenly and tripped forward with a gasp when she caught Bess’s stare.

“Was that Elvis’ bunk mate, Rex?”

Kay gulped. “Mhmmm, I did like you told me, and said you - you weren’t home.”

Bess crossed her arms. “So what, now you’re going out with them?”

“Well, I - he - I heard Elvis tell him to invite me and any other friends to meet them at the movie theatre on post. It’s, it’s, not a date, it’s a group-like thing.”

Bess took a deep sigh. Miles Davis wafted out from behind the closed door of their father’s office at the back of the house, and she could hear her mother doing the dishes. Bess had come down to help clean up, and had planned to spend her Friday evening at home. She thought she might read or watch TV, play a game of gin rummy with Mama. Anything to take her mind off of Elvis. And now here her sister was, running out to go meet him!

“I cannot believe he invited you out.”

“And why is that? You’re not the only charming, good looking girl around here, Bess.”

“That’s not what I was saying, Kay. What kind of guy invites out the sister of a girl - a girl - a girl he’d been riding around with? You aren’t seriously thinking of going? What about Dickie?”

“It’s not like that. Cuz,  - it’s - it’s not a date. Why, they’re getting a gang together. Rex said I should bring some other girls. I’m about to call Carol and Tracy. If you think I’m gonna deprive them of the chance to meet Elvis Presley, you got another thing coming. Why, you always keep him all to yourself.” Kay huffed, and put her hands on her hips. “It’s not a date. You could come if you wanted, you know.”

Bess squeezed her hands into tight fists, squelching her sudden intense desire to slap her sister.

“You know exactly why I won’t be doing that, I told you how things went with him and you are smart enough to know he is probably doing this to upset me. And you’re helping him! My own sister. Kay Brutus Schwartz.”

Kay’s face fell, and she met Bess in the middle of the hallway. “It’s not like that at all. Please don’t be mad, Bess, but me and my friends, we have all his albums. You can’t hold it against me for wanting to go. It’s not like I asked, he - ” 

Bess brushed Kay’s hand from her shoulder and stomped off in a huff, her anger powered her through an incredibly fast cleaning session in the kitchen.

Mama dried the last plate Bess handed her, then put her arms around Bess at the sink. “See, Bessie baby, all that red Jell-o gave you the energy and focus you needed. I’ll get you some red silk underwear for your new job, I saw some in the Montgomery Ward catalog. Or were they red flannel long johns? Well, you’ll need both in Helsinki.” 

*********************************************

Bess had frowned as Kay traipsed out the door to meet her friends when Carol pulled up in her mother’s yellow DeSoto. At first she took her book upstairs and sat at the window, watching for Kay’s return around 10 p.m. 

By 10:30, she had moved to the porch, where she sat up on the bench hugging her knees and trying to read while she waited to catch her sister and pump her for information outside where their parents wouldn’t hear them. 

Yawning, she was just straightening the bows on her white house slippers when she turned to see a car pulling up in front of the house. But this was not Carol’s mother’s yellow DeSoto. It was a white Cadillac. And she made the mistake of looking up long enough to note the row of guys in the back seat and make eye contact with Elvis as he parked.

Fuck, Bess muttered to herself staring back into her book, unable to focus her eyes on any of the words. In her periphery, she watched Elvis jump out and race around the front of his car, loosely putting his arm around a giddy, smiling Kay as he walked her up the path to the front porch. 

Bess took a deep breath, accepting that there was nothing she could do, that she was stuck out here with her hair in a messy bun wearing a house dress and slippers. So, she braced herself and stood to confront the most famous man in the world. 

The cool night air was no comfort to the heated temper rising in her chest as Elvis walked up the stairs in front of her, his fingers now spread over Kay’s shoulder. His eyes narrowed, and a smirk played over his face.

“Hellooooo there Bess, ain’t you sweet, coming out here to greet me.”

“Hmmmm.” Bess nodded, curtly, exhaling at Kay’s sheepish grin.

“Well, I enjoyed our date tonight, Kitty Kat, didju?” He gave Kay’s shoulder a rub and Kay laughed nervously at his nickname, glancing back at Bess as she untangled herself from Elvis’ grip.

“Oh, well, it was a gas to meet you and the whole gang,” Kay made a show of waving at the car, “Tell Rex thanks for the Coke and candy.”

Elvis ran his hand through his hair.“Uh, well, I wudda bought you all the Cokes you wanted, I just -”

Bess interrupted him. “Let me guess, you forgot your wallet?”

 “Yeah, guess that’s happened before.” Elvis chuckled. 

“Ahem, Kitty Kat is it?” Bess raised her eyes at her sister. “Probably time you were in bed, little girl. I have a few words I need to have with your date, here.”

Kay coughed and avoided Bess’ intense look of death as she thanked Elvis for a fun night. He grabbed her hand, making eye contact with Bess over Kay’s shoulder and he hugged her sister and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. Kay hung in his embrace for several beats, then scuttled away to leave Elvis with Bess’s cool stare

“You have some nerve.”

Elvis took a step toward her, “Aw, Bess, now see, when you act like this it makes me think you still like me.”

“Is that ri-ight?” Her voice wavered as he took a step toward her with his shoulders back, head forward, rubbing the back of his neck. She stumbled back a few steps, distracted by the way his eyes pierced her from under his eyebrows.

“See, you actin’ like ya jealous, honey. But you ain’t playin’ fair.“

“Really. I don’t play fair?”

“Uh uh.” Now he was hovering over her, backing her into the front of the house, his lower lip hanging open as he leaned over her. “You play hot one day, then cool the next. Won’t take my calls, but now ya jealous. Playin’ games s’what it is, and I can’t stand chicks who play games.”

“Ha!” Bess had meant her declaration to be a lot more forceful than how it came out as a muffled breath into the dark, red fisherman’s sweater Elvis was wearing. Of course! Of course his sweater was red. It sucked all Bess’ strength right out of her. And her resolve. She tried for dear life to hang on to the painful embarrassment that had punched her in the gut when she met Anita.

“You’re - you’re - you had - you’re the one who -”

Elvis’ hand was at her waist, and his thumb pressed over her belly button.

“Sshhh. I know, I missed our date.”

Bess mumbled toward her shoes. “Well, I wouldn’t call a party in a cheap motel room a date by any me-“

Elvis’ pursed his lips in a grin as he brought his other hand to Bess’ cheek, his eyes gleaming as she shivered in him. He tilted her chin to meet his eyes. Bess tried to shake him off, but couldn’t, she was spellbound by the pair of dark blue eyes above her. 

She reminded herself that there was an audience of grown men watching them from his back seat. Then she thought she saw the curtain at the front window ripple and realized Kay was probably leaning against the wall inside, spying on them. She thought about how Elvis had invited her sister out, at the very least to get her attention, or at worst, to make her jealous. She thought about how she had sworn to her best friend hours ago that she never wanted to see Elvis Presley again. She tried to grasp at all these things and more as Elvis stepped closer to her, and shifted his arm over her against the wall. But suddenly thinking was very difficult. Elvis’ thumb circled the button at the waist of her cotton house dress.

“OK, ok,well, when you say it like that, sounds awful. Definitely weren’t no date. Still, Kitty Kat told me how upset you’ve been. And I know I shudda called you.” Elvis took a deep breath, and coughed. “ And, well, that gal came down and surprised the hell outta me, is what happened. I didn’t invite her, now that’s the god’s honest truth. But, well, put me in an awful bind and I couldn’t get away to call you. Wudda much rather spent the weekend with you, Moo Moo.”

His breath was warm on her neck, and the way he murmured her nickname was like a sultry saxophone solo. Bess closed her eyes as it rolled over her body, giving her goosebumps. His whisper was full of vulnerable need and Bess couldn’t believe that she actually felt bad for him, as if she were to blame for everything.

“I - I - I’m sorry.”

“Nah, honey, I reckon, if I’m honest with ma self,  you have every right to be sore at me. But you havta give a man the chance to defend hisself. Tell me now, don’t a man deserve a chance to splain?”

There was his thumb, gliding over the front of her stomach, rubbing back and forth.

“Really, I wasn’t trying to play games.”

“I know, Moo Moo. I know’d you weren’t really like that, else I wouldn’t be here.” He leaned in, pressing his open lips to the corner of her jaw, soft and delicate as he continued his whispers. “Though I don’t know if I could stay away even if you were the devil, baby. Ain’t been able to stop thinking about you.” His mouth was warm on her neck. “You, and only you.”

His touch sent a wave of feverish heat through her body, and Bess didn’t care if he was lying, all she knew was that she would willingly go back to his motel room with him right now in her flimsy white house slippers and all. However, before she could make that suggestion, she heard the front door open and she jumped up instantly, pushing Elvis away at the sight of her father’s silhouette in the dim porch light.

“Elizabeth, it’s cold out tonight. Why don’t you invite your guest inside?”

Bess swallowed hard, glancing up at Elvis, whose cool demeanor and friendly smile belied the fingers she could see tapping against his thigh through his pocket. She looked out at the car, then up at the dark sky, shaking her head to herself.

“ Hi Papa, this is, uh - ”

Elvis stood up straight and jerked his hand out as he strode to shake her father’s hand.

“Uh, good evening, Sir, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley.”

“Yes, I’ve been expecting to meet you for some time now.” Bess’ mouth dropped open. Before she could find the words to protest, her father was putting his arm around Elvis and guiding him inside. “I understand you and Ilsa have been spending a lot of time together, jah?”

*********************************************

“Can I pour you a whiskey?” The table lamp flickered as Bess’ father walked by, his calm words trailed behind him on his way to the bar. 

Elvis sat at the edge of the couch patting his hand to a silent rhythm and then bouncing up again to pace over to the hi-fi set.

“Naw, jus a Pepsi - or a Big Red, honey.” Bess glared at him as he looked up at her from where he perched in front of the record player. “Bessie. I mean, Eliz-a-bess.”

Bess frowned as Elvis popped open the concealed door in the sound system’s speakers and proceeded to rifle through her father’s LP collection. Her father arched his eyebrow, muttering in German that the boy seemed to know his way around and feel quite at home, jah? Bess was asking Rex and Lamar what they wanted when Mama floated into the living room, swaying the skirt of her red dress back and forth, a dreamy look in her face. Bess froze, looking around the room, then scuttling over to her mother and latching her arm around Mama’s waist, whispering in her ear.

“Mama - Hi Mama, I thought you went upstairs to relax?”

The boys all stood up as Mama patted Bess on the shoulder. “Bess, you’re making the lamps all buzzy, stop buzzing around and introduce me to your friends.”

Bess sighed and then froze when Elvis walked over and took her mother’s hand, kissing the top.

“Evening, ma’am, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley, s’a pleasure to meet you, I can see where your daughters get their good looks from, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

Mama giggled and blushed. “Ha, well, you are charming. The faeries told me Bessie had a new beau, but they didn’t say he was handsome.” Bess’ face went white as she tried to guide her mother to the big orange leather chair in the corner, but Mama swatted her hands away. “Bess, I said to quit fussin’. Go get our guests something to drink.”

Every cell in Bess’ body was on high alert, and she rubbed at her throat trying quell the nauseous, tight feeling that now plagued her stomach. Bess had not brought Ben, her former fiancee, home to meet her family until he had asked her to marry him. At that point, they had already been going steady for two months, she had trusted Ben completely and had given him a thorough debriefing on Mama and the family dynamics. She had known Elvis a month. ANd spent the last two weeks hating him.

Elvis returned her mother’s hand and flashed Bess a warm, crooked reassuring smile. Rex and Lamar gathered next to him making their awkward introductions, before Papa walked over and offered Mama his hand, tilting his head at Kay. 

“Come sit with me, Emily, let the boys relax. Katherine, you get the drinks.”

Bess followed Kay into the hall. “I’ll get it, Kay, I -uh - I was gonna make Mama a special cup of tea - “

“I got it, I know how to do it. You go back in there.” Kay winked, and left Bess to sigh as she took a deep breath and resigned herself to face whatever was waiting for her in the living room.

Elvis sat on the edge of the couch trying to stop his knee from bopping up and down with the palm of his hand, already in conversation with Bess’ father.

“Jah, I started off in the German division, but now I oversee all intelligence training.”

Elvis’ eyes widened and he seemed grateful to see Bess walk back into the room and hit Lamar to clear the seat next to him on the couch. Bess shook her head and sat at the piano bench, trying to think of how to change the subject.

“Papa, I imagine the boys are tired after a long week and - “

“Oh Bessie, don’t send them away!” Mama waved her off as she got up and happily plopped into the clear spot next to Lamar, shooting Bess a playful frown. “You never bring friends over any more, it’s a breath of fresh air having young people over. Want any leftover tuna noodle casserole?”

A momentary grimace passed over Elvis’ face as he declined, and Bess' father coughed.

“Too bad we don’t have any meatloaf, perhaps zat would have suited you better.”

“Actually, mister, I’m bout plumb fed up with meatloaf, EP’s been ordering - “ Lamar stopped talking at the sight of Elvis’ eyebrow, arched in warning. 

“Well, Bess makes a great meatloaf, you boys will have to come back for dinner sometime. I’ll get her to cook it up for you.” Mama bowed her head with certainty as she spoke, turning Elvis’ hand over in her lap as if to read his fortune. “Elvis, such an unusual name. What does it mean?”

“Ugh, well, ma’am.” Elvis scooted back against the arm rest, turning in to face Bess’ mother more directly. “I have been told it means someone who is uh, very wise.” He winked over at Bess as she rolled her eyes. Kay returned, and she bounced up to assist in handing out the drinks. 

“I’ve never heard the name Elvis before tonight, is it common where you’re from?”

Lamar gasped. “You never heard ‘a Elvis?”

“No, why, should I? Do you all work with Henry in Intel?” 

Elvis shook his head. “No, no ma’am, Rexadus here and I, well, we’re new recruits, and Lamar right here is jus’ a ole friend of mine, visiting.”

Mama smiled big. “Oh, well, if you think I would have heard of you from Bess, you have another thing coming. She’s a sphinx, that one, never tells me anything about anything.I have to get all my gossip from the wind.”

“Elvis is a famous performer, mama. They’re surprised you’ve never heard of him because he is on the radio. And the movies.”

“Oh, is that true? Would I know any of your music?”

Just then, the phone in Papa’s office began to ring and he stood up to excuse himself, muttering in German that he would hardly call it music. Bess exhaled a chuckle at the curious look on Elvis’ face. 

“I’m guessing that weren’t a rousin’ endorsement from ya daddy,huh ?”

She shook her head, and Mama clucked.

“Oh, Henry didn’t get enough red food tonight, don’t mind him. You know, you’re not the first song and dance man I’ve met. When I was a girl - “

“-I met Eddie Cantor when he sang at Zeyde’s theatre on Coney Island.” Bess and Kay exclaimed in unison with a grin.

Bess relaxed as the room filled with warm laughter and she almost felt like they were a normal family, teasing and chiding each other as they entertained guests.

“Oy, well, it’s true, you boys have heard of Eddie Cantor, haven’t you?” Mama grinned at their nods, and took it as her cue to keep talking between sips of tea. “Well, I was just a kid when he was first making it big in New York. And my father had this vaudeville theater, and we met all sorts of acts working their way up the circuit. Baby Rose Marie, Bert WIlliams, Jimmy Durante, and, of course, a lot of nobodies trying to be somebodies. Eddie was probably the most successful guy to come through our place. Boy, was he handsome! Tall, dark hair, those big gorgeous eyes, like two rounds of chocolate.”

“Mama, zey ton nisht veln tsu hern vegn deyn shule meydl krashiz.”

“Oh, Bess thinks I shouldn’t share these things. She thinks I’m an old lady, that I don’t have blood pulsing in my veins. But I’ve always appreciated a good looking man.” Mama patted Elvis' knee. “Still do.” Then all of a sudden she swayed into Elvis' shoulder, her eyelids fluttering before she slumped on his shoulder.

“Ma’am? Ya ok? I’ve had girls swoon before, though they usually heard a me.”

Bess jumped up and looked over at her sister. “How much did you put in her tea, Kay?”

“Just a tablespoon.”

“It’s supposed to be a teaspoon!” Bess growled through clenched teeth as she felt her mother’s pulse, and tried to unfurl her mother’s arm from around Elvis’ shoulder.

“I’ll take her up - “

“Aw, honey - s’ok, want me to - “

“ - Well, it was an easy mistake.” Kay hovered behind Bess, and stomped her foot.

Mama’s eyelids fluttered back open for a moment and she looked up into Elvis' face. “You know, you have a beautiful aura, Alvis, I can tell you are a good person - Bess, if you don’t marry him, I will.” 

Bess gulped, and looked at Kay. “Help me get her up the stairs?”

Before they could do anything, Elvis lifted Mama and nodded at Bess. “Jus lead the way, ‘k Bess honey? Boys, y’all go on out to the car, and we’ll get outta ya hair ‘fore you say lickety splickety.” 

Lamar sighed with relief and could not get through the hallway fast enough, almost knocking the telephone off the little desk as he passed. Rex, however, hung back, gathering up the bottles of pop and taking them to the kitchen behind Kay, looking back to nod at Elvis in a silent offer to help. Elvis shook his head and followed Bess up the stairs.

“Alright, now, Mrs. Schwartz, ma’am, ya gonna be snug as a bug in a rug, jus you wait.”

Elvis set Mama down in her bed carefully, gently taking her hands and placing them at her sides. Mama opened her eyes and trailed her fingers over the sharp edge of Elvis' crew cut, smiling dreamily as she asked “Almond” if he would marry her.

“Ya so sweet and beautiful, I would, I would  if I could, ma’am.”

Tears welled up behind Bess’ eyes as she watched the tender way Elvis kissed her mother’s cheek and squeezed her hand before she passed out. They exchanged a long look, and Bess blushed.

“I’m sorry you had to see all this, I’m so embarrassed. You didn’t have to stay and help me - “

Elvis rubbed her shoulder. “Honey, I wanted to help, I like helping folks. Ain’t nuthin to be shamed of. Really Moo Moo, wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. An getting to spend my night with the prettiest lil gal in town, why, that’s just the icing on the cake.” His face scrunched into a big grin as he held her, and bess nodded into the comfy wook of his red sweater.

Elvis stood in the doorway, watching curiously as Bess took off her mother’s shoes and tucked her under the large, homemade victory quilt that they had sewn from old clothes during the war. It was the only blanket Mama would sleep with, and for Bess, it evoked that time in her childhood when Papa was overseas doing things he couldn’t talk about and Mama was the strongest woman she could imagine. 

Now, as she looked down at her mother and smoothed hair out of her face, it was Mama who resembled a little girl, finally relaxed and at ease as she started to snore. Her sleeping face free from the cares and mysteries of the world. Bess kissed her mother on the forehead, and turned to find Elvis waiting for her in the doorway. His blue eyes seemed to penetrate her soul, as his thumb rubbed the side of her shoulder.

“Holdin’ it all together, ain’t ya Moo Moo. I see you. I really do.” 

Bess shuddered at his touch, wiping the side of her eyes.

“I, um, I. Well, you caught us on a bad night, Almond.”

He chuckled, drawing her into his arms and kissing the top of her forehead.

“Nah, ain’t nothing bad about anything.” The sides of his crinkled as he smirked. “Almond, huh. maybe ya mama there is on to sumpin. Might sell more records and movie tickets if I changed my name to Almond instead. Tell you what, wudda made it harder for the Army to find me.”

“Yes.” She took his hand and led him back down the stairs.”Though you would have missed out on your freel vacation here at beautiful Fort Hood.” 

They were back on her porch, and Elvis was clasping her hand tight. He looked out at the darkness, and at his car on the street, then over the garden, before turning back to hover over Bess, hands resting at her waist.

“Wudda missed out on meeting you, honey. Ya my silver lining. Tonight, being here with you, I know it now for certain that fate brought us together.”

Bess turned her head to listen to the crickets, wondering if they had any advice on how to defy fate. Especially when fate distracted you from all common sense by nuzzling your forehead. 

“Elvis - I - “

His lips were at her ear as he drew her closer. “Aw, Moo Moo, I cain’t bear to think I made you cry. I mean it.” His thumbs rolled up and down Bess’ sides. ”I promise, ain’t ever let that happen again. I swear. Cuz I need ya, honey, been thinking ‘bout you all the time.”

Bess couldn’t resist the way his eyes lit up with hopeful vulnerability, it made her feel like she was the one who had wronged him by withdrawing her company from him. 

“I  - I think about you too.” She cupped his cheek. “I’ve seen you doing laps every evening, are you doing okay?”

Elvis huffed and pinched her side. “Oh, yeah, you know me. Every morning, those drill sergeants find a reason to be cross at me, makin’ me do extra PT. But ain’t nothin I can’t handle.”

Bess nodded. Then Elvis’ hands tightened all the way around her, constricting her so tight she almost couldn’t breath, before parting with a soft, chaste farewell kiss and a vague promise to call her the next day.

Bess was humming to herself as she turned off the porch light and locked the door behind her, stopping short when she saw her father come out of his office.

“Everything ok, Papa?’

“Jah, jah. That was just the secure line, a call from D.C.” He straightened his sweater, coughing as he took in the dim quiet of their house. “Ze hound dog has run off, I take it?”

“He’s not so bad, you know.” Bess shifted and looked at her feet, unable to stop the smile at the corner of her mouth. “The drill sergeants have really had it out for him this last week. He’s been running extra PT and they put him on latrine duty. Must have pissed off the wrong person.”

Bess stopped talking, noticing that her father’s face had soured into a tight grimace. She had probably been right not to tell her parents that she had been seeing Elvis. This would be tough, now there was nothing she could do now.

“Jah, that boy did piss off the wrong person. Me. You would be wise to cut your ties with him, Elizabeth, he does not respect women. And you have a bright future ahead of you. I might expect Katherine to be dazzled by this flash of Memphis. But you are too smart for all that. I would hate to see you lose focus on your goals to run around with a boy who brings his hoochie coochie girlfriends to town and flaunts them in your face.” 

Bess was silent as her father pursed his lips, nodding, then said good night. She listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked up stairs, her mind racing as she tried to figure out how he had found out about Elvis. About the debacle with Anita. About all of it. 

The disappointment she had seen in her father’s eyes crushed her, and Bess tossed and turned in her bed all night trying to figure out how she could make him understand that she could have fun and still go after her goals. It was the thought of Elvis’ long thumbs caressing her body that finally calmed her down. The memory of his touch was like her own personal dose of benzodiazepine, it made her forget all her problems and give herself over to the sandman.

********************************************************************

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XOXOX norahhhhhhh

[amerricanartwork]

True Love Conquers All (Lilypad Essay cont.)

Ever since I realized the fairytale parallel was one of the main reasons I ship Lilypad, I've wanted to draw this, so here it is! Sig and Moon as Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora!

Actually, though, besides the drawing I'm also making this because I wanted to expand on that point from my Lilypad essay; there's still more I wanna gush about regarding the fairytale parallel!

I was too nervous to say it before, because it's derived largely from my personal tastes. However, I really wanna just write about my opinions on it now. Much of it's actually the feelings I've had about several ships before in various other fandoms, yet I've never really had the courage to express these feelings openly because I have yet to find even one person in any of these fandoms who feels the same way. However, I started thinking about it again, and I think it's about time I get it out somehow, at the very least to express these feelings in some tangible way so they don't stay bottled up forever. And maybe, just maybe, to find someone who likes these themes as much as I do!

Again, it's definitely very personal, so I don't mind if you completely disagree with all of it. But with that being said, if you want to read an additional 1,846 words on Lilypad fantasies, it's just below the cut!

To elaborate on why I love ships with fairytale parallels so much, it has to do with the poetic feeling stories like Sleeping Beauty seem to carry. I must preface that I don’t know the original fairytale, I’m pretty much entirely going off the 1959 animated Disney film, but even so I still love various themes within it and how they can be applied to other stories. Sleeping Beauty isn’t the only old Disney movie where I interpret these themes, or even the only animated story in general where these themes can be interpreted, but I think it’s overall the most similar to Lilypad specifically because of the whole “fair maiden dies and gets revived by the prince’s love” dynamic.

Something I’ve come to realize, especially upon developing a love for Rain World specifically, is that I adore stories about accepting one’s own nature and learning how to have it coexist with your personal goals rather than conflict with it. Sleeping Beauty has this not only through the eternal bond between Aurora and Phillip (I mean, “Once Upon a Dream” literally seems to be about how the singer will always love the person they fell for even if their love seemed too good to be true), but in the whole curse put on Aurora and the “true love conquers all” message. The conflict is all about how to ensure Aurora’s safety despite the impending doom of Maleficent’s curse on her, which is made more intense by how the curse can’t really be stopped, only lessened in severity. However, the inevitability of true love’s triumph over all obstacles, and really the inevitability of nature as a whole, is just so beautiful to me because it’s something so universal. As much as we may try to hide it, we humans are still animals, and still a part of nature as much as any other animal is, so the idea that forces as powerful and omnipresent as natural phenomenon could just as easily be on your side and working to help you reach your goals instead of trying to hurt you and keep you from them is very comforting specifically because of how powerful and inevitable these forces are. I mean, if forces like those can pose a seemingly impossible challenge when they seem to oppose your goals, what if they could also supply seemingly invincible support if you learned to work with them? Hence, why true love conquers all. It’s basically, “I can’t stop this thing, but maybe I don’t actually need to”. And the fact that both this and the next theme I’ll write about are present in stories which are, by this point, quite old, and can even be interpreted in newer and more recent stories just helps to further support their eternal, everlasting power by adding a sense of real-life timelessness to it all that I just find so beautiful!

Part of my love for stories like this actually comes from a specific natural force I freaking love and have been craving more of ever since I rewatched the old Disney movies and really begun to appreciate the poetic themes of them, and that force is the classic attraction between men and women. I’m not gonna get super into it now because I imagine I’ll have other chances to talk about this (again, Lilypad is far from the first ship I’ve derived this theme from, and I doubt it will be the last), but I’ll provide an intro of sorts to it here. If you’ve seen my full Lilypad essay you already know I’m a BIG fan of “inverses attract” ships, where the characters display opposite sides of the same base trait, conflict, or subject, and when they come together they help balance each other out in ways no one else can by offering each other the benefits unique to the other side of that subject. Well, simply put, if you ask me, what better example of this “inverses attract” dynamic exists in real life than the natural inverses of male and female, where the strong protectiveness and creative nurturing combine to literally create a family, from which all people come? The presence of the inverses attract dynamic is always nice to see in ships regardless of gender, but whether or not it occurs in this way specifically — that being whether or not it showcases the inverse characteristics of men and women and the positive potential when those forces combine as a team — is another major factor that, throughout my fandom experience so far, has determined which pairings I actively ship rather than just mildly smile at from time to time. (And on a side note, now that I have much more skill in art and feel more confident about my art, I figured it’s about time I start acting on that love more openly!)

So what in the WORLD does this all have to do with Lilypad?

Well, even disregarding how this very idea will basically be the major theme of my personal worm-off-the-string AU (I may elaborate on that more later because it’s just SO perfect for these particular characters and can even be interpreted in the base game to some degree), I think Lilypad, at least as I choose to imagine it, is the Rain World ship that best embodies this idea — that nature and instincts can actually help you once you simply stop fighting and accept them — more than any other in the fandom for a variety of reasons.

I’m actually going to start with how Looks to the Moon and No Significant Harassment, as strange as this may sound given who and what these characters are, actually do still display that feminine and masculine energy I love at least when I picture them, especially with Sig being confirmed as a “he” according to the wiki. It’s clear to me that Moon is very feminine (I mean, c’mon, her design in the CGs, how the moon is often associated with femininity and feminine things in real life, how she tries, even after her collapse, to connect with Five Pebbles and nurture their relationship in a very caring way, etc.), but I wanna elaborate on how part of the reason I love Sig as a character and the slag reset keys as a plot point so much is because it perfectly demonstrates that masculine protectiveness that happens in stories like Sleeping Beauty, where a man faces great trials all to rescue the fair maiden. Again, it may not have happened literally because Hunter had to deliver the slag keys, but the sentiment is the same if you ask me! And it’s always so nice to see because, again, he literally brought her back to life! How could it NOT be a sign of deep love and devotion that someone would go through so much trouble just to make sure you’re okay? 

It’s also great because I imagine the local group would have a tendency to not always take Sig seriously because he’s so careless about their purpose, so I’m sure the slag key stunt would also warrant a lot more respect for him from the other iterators. This is another thing I love seeing — both when the character everyone else overlooks finally uses their full power and their peers have to re-evaluate their impression of them, but specifically when men feel inspired to use their full power and skills to help the women they love! I love it because it demonstrates just how powerful and valuable femininity can be, shedding light on a more subtle kind of power, that being power through influence and aura rather than raw strength and stubbornness. Heck, I like to imagine wanting to protect Looks to the Moon and make sure she lasts as long as possible is a major reason why, in my AU, their physical interactions are when Sig and Moon finally begin to act on their love despite it having existed almost since Sig came online. Moon’s collapse would’ve shown both of them directly that she won’t be around forever, and if you ask Sig, someone as beautiful, kind, intelligent, noble, and all-around beloved as Looks to the Moon deserves to at least enjoy her life a little more before she fades (again), even if all the iterators falling apart is inevitable. But, coming back to what I said about nature, the inevitability of the eventual end is what makes the time they have left all the more precious!

And that’s the next part of Sleeping Beauty and fairytale-esque stories I see in Lilypad — there’s also the inevitability of this dynamic, which hits hard with Rain World iterators specifically because their whole purpose is fundamentally opposed to natural phenomena. Solving the Great Problem is, as far as I know, all about trying to escape the natural cycle of life, death, and reincarnation, and likely about escaping all natural cycles as a whole. And the iterators exist specifically to facilitate this rejection on a massive scale. So think about how poetic it would be that even they, seemingly so far detached, so far above these things, STILL fall in love and embrace these forces despite every attempt by the Ancients to prevent them from doing so! It’s made better by the fact that the iterators are machines and, even though they’re very much biomechanical ones (a big example of natural phenomena still manifesting in them despite their attempts to separate from it), one can argue they’re therefore somewhat detached from nature inherently, especially that bond between masculinity and femininity I discussed. So again, the fact it still finds a way to show up in them despite seemingly having much less reason to exist and the iterators themselves likely having much less desire to possess it just re-emphasizes how eternal it is. But once again, are they (and by extent, we the audience) sure that’s such a bad thing? 

Lilypad in an ideal scenario, to me, is of all the Rain World ships the strongest embodiment of “true love conquers all, and that’s not a bad thing after all!”

And it makes me more eager to develop my worm-off-the-string AU because I imagine that’s where their relationship really gets to flourish. Moon and Sig can finally enjoy that physical aspect of romance, and Moon in particular would, by that point, more confidently join him in rejecting the Ancients’ ascensionist philosophy. Not to mention how cute it would be to see them drawing parallels between their relationship and the love the Ancients used to feel for one another long ago, once again supporting true love as a truly timeless phenomenon. And it would branch off to not just embracing their romance that existed for so long but could never fully go anywhere, but learning to enjoy and partake in all the aspects of the world that were denied to them and that they were told to deny for who knows how long! And when it comes to not just for Sig and Moon, but the local group as a whole, what could be more poetic than that?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Man, a HUGE thank you to anyone who made it to the bottom of all this! To know that anyone bothered to at least consider what I have to say in this fandom is always nice, but with this in particular I greatly appreciate anyone who read it all! And again, PLEASE let me know if you agree with any of this, especially the parts about masculine-feminine teamwork. I'd love to know even one other person in one of my fandoms who's into that as well, and maybe even hear possible additions to it!

Regardless, I've gone on about this for so many words already. I hope you enjoyed the ideas, or at least the art! Thanks again for reading!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy Saturday; a couple of short replies today.

Anonymous asked:

I sound dumb but on kofi I noticed that some of your drawings were labeled Fellow and Mob and there was one on Bluesky for Epel and Mob. Who or what or when is Mob? Is this the dude from Scott Pilgrim?

You are not dumb, Anon! No worries.

“Mob” is basically the same as “just random faceless guy/girl”. Here is a definition from this site:

In Japanese, モブ (short for モブキャラクター) refers to a character who plays a minor role in anime/manga/games.

Dorm students from TWST (the ones that aren’t our main characters) are technically all Mob, like Scarabia student B, Heartslabyul student A, etc. This term is also frequently used in doujins when a character is being paired with some rando, i.e. some pervy old man or just some faceless student. In case with Fellow and Epel it was a pervy old man...

But now I can’t stop thinking about Mobile sleeping around lol

Anonymous asked:

ryu i just wanted to let you know that your aot art still lives rent free in my mind specially the ereri ones you were such a visionary omg !!!! but your new drawings are just as beautiful <3

Oh my god, Ereri!

Thank you so much for your kindness, Anon! Hearing that it such a blast from the past, I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already… I am very excited to apply everything I’ve learned over these years art-wise to more Ereri stuff in the future (whenever it’ll be). So it’s great to hear that there are people who still remember us and our content with these two <3

I am very happy you like my new stuff as well, it means a lot!

Anonymous asked:

Was at a con last weekend and you were like every person's at the twst meetup favorite artist I'm not even kidding

No way… 😭 This is incredibly sweet, thank you very much!

In all honesty though, it really is very surprising, but amazing nonetheless. I am very happy to hear that. It’s hard to even imagine that I exist... irl? In other people’s lives? Idk how to put it.

Thank you for sharing, and I hope you (and everyone else) enjoyed the con.

Anonymous asked:

I wish I had an Idia dakimakura. No question just wanted to share my woes. I need to squeeze the life out of him :(

Honestly, I think a lot of lives would have been improved with an Idia dakimakura… He is very squeezable :”(

Anonymous asked:

I've been having the most intense Lilia/Idia thoughts lately and I just wanted to share them if you're interested.

Cause Idia and Lilia are gaming buddies, yeah?

And I just can't stop thinking about how if they were playing a game with comms, there could be other people there or not but having other people there makes it more fun, and Lilia just messing with Idia so hard.

Just saying the dirtiest stuff and Idia's on the other side of the comms blowing a fuse from all the stuff Lilia's saying.

And if there was people there and they heard that, then Idia would have to deal with the questions later and he'd blow a fuse again just out of embarrassment.

Maybe that's a strange thought to have, but I just wanted to share it cause why not?

LOL poor random people who have to play with these two fuckers! On the other hand, it’s probably very entertaining to listen to them lol

It’s also funny that Crimson Muscle seems to have kind of strict and mature, yet unexpectedly playful vibe, so the image in Idia’s head is very specific. But once they learn each other’s identity… maybe Lilia would start acting like his gremlin self more. He really could make Idia blow a fuse if he wanted to…

No matter what happens, people around them are going to think they’re dating lol

[thevulturesquadron]

Ok so this is me sorta headcanoning, so take this with a grain of salt, but one of the reasons why the infantilization of Rogue always bothers me is because I always felt like her powers were a metaphor for disability/chronic illness and fandom police act already like disabled women aren't capable of being in their own villain romances, example being Entrapdak antis denying Entrapta her own agency in her romance with Hordak in the She-Ra reboot.

Oh! But you make a really good point! It’s one of those subtle perspectives that can be dangerous just because of how easy they are to integrate into someone's view of the world. I'm not as vocal online as I used to be. I feel like there are people out there far better equipped to talk about it than I, while I grow old and cranky. But, you brought up a really important aspect that kinda sent me into a 'hold my beer' moment so apologies for the long answer! To start with, I wouldn’t call this a headcanon, not at all, clearly not in the context of X-men, and Rogue in particular. It’s a very apt analogy. The reason why these characters become relevant to us is because we recognize something from our personal journey in them, and the comparison you made for Rogue is a very strong one. Her inability to touch can absolutely be read as a disability! In so many of her stories/arcs it is often portrayed as a struggle, as an obstacle to a ‘normal life’. Her difficulties with gaining control over her powers and dealing with other personalities that are trying to take over her mind can also be a strong metaphor for mental health struggles/disorders. Rogue is a fantastic hero in that regard and seeing her be her own person, learning how to work and be proud of what she can do, can feel like a personal victory for so many people. It’s why it’s important to see her happy, to see her winning her battles and use who she is and what she can do in a positive and impactful way. There are many reasons why fans end up taking away her agency or attributing her choices to a different (often male) character. And, to be fair, a couple of comic-book writers have done this exact thing to her, so I can see where this skewed perspective might be coming from. Within fandom this happens mostly because it serves to support their arguments for whatever thing they prefer or project onto the character. If they don’t like a certain narrative or can’t accept that it might’ve be written for someone else, they have this to fall back on and point to. Or, sadly, one of the simplest reasons for doing this is the age-old turning their ship preferences into ‘I’m right, you are wrong’ arguments. But these things can hide some internalized misconceptions. Unfortunately I haven’t seen the reboot of She-Ra (shame on me) so I don’t have the full picture for the take on Entrapta, but now I have one more reason to invest some time in it. In this situation with Rogue, I believe that what you mentioned applies very well. The argument that I’ve seen going around a lot is that Rogue was manipulated/swayed by being presented with the opportunity to ‘be normal’. Because she wanted to be able to touch and as a result she was taken advantage of because of her ‘disability’. Which is entirely false. In no version of the relationship between Rogue and Magneto in the comics, and not even in the reinvented take in the animation, has he ever abused that. Her attraction to him has always, always, come first, and the ability to touch, second. He was never the first one to act upon it. Even in the animation, every shot in the flashback was carefully considered to portray that - she is shown as the initiator every time (my favourite scene is when she’s trying her very best to pose in a suggestive way and he just paints her as he sees her, lively and sincere). But some fans don’t want to see that. They don’t want to acknowledge the authenticity of her decisions because it doesn’t serve the narrative they want of her/for her.

I read your message and it hit like a hammer how much deeper this problem can actually go, because it’s masked by those surface-level justifications. Removing agency and responsibility from someone just because they operate differently than one’s expectations is damaging in and of itself, and within a fandom it perpetuates an idea that can stifle people’s perspective and critical thinking. (This whole topic actually reminded me of Madison Tevlin's “Assume that I can” commercial. I think it's relevant to the conversation) Thanks a lot for sharing this!!! We need to talk more about these things and if I misspoke on something or missed something important would love to hear it. 💜