#and now I'm simply just Black Kat

[blackkatdraws2]

Wild stoic scary delinquent everyone finds scary paired with that popular lovely sweetheart that everyone loves.

Lesbians.

[auroraeternal]

Corpse paint is a style of black and white makeup used mainly by black metal bands for concerts and band photos. The makeup is used to make the musicians appear inhuman, corpse-like, or demonic, and is perhaps "the most identifiable aspect of the black metal aesthetic." ©Wikipedia

It's supposed to be a stuff only for my personal use, but someone is asking about them in my WCIFs, so why not to share it. I'm not sure that this will against original creator TOU, just because they doesn't have any TOU and wasn`t active for years. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Info:

Credits: Dark Rituals, @aroundthesims (face mask texture).

Teen-elder, both genders.

What I've done: cleaned small unwanted pixels, filled empty space in the eyes, made whole texture generally more smooth.

Everything is recolorable now (2 channels for all face paints except Huul, it has 3rd channel for mouth, but it still barely recolorable), Separates have 1 channel.

Eyes separates in eyeshadow category, lips in lipstick and forehead cross are in blush. Separated all swatches except Huul (11) Satinae Ma (18-19) (they just not too interesting and was annoying to separate them :/) and King Diamond (14) (I found this after I extracted and partly edited all other paints and come back to the site for making post for cc finds.)

Known issues: some paints (especially the cross one) may look really wonky depending of the sim's facial features.

1k textures.

Package format, compressed (but file size is still big because of the amount of presets). Separates have merged package and pick and choose version.

Swatches:

Recommended downloads: Mask/Masque by ats3, Simply Kitsch`s Dark Stain Tattoo (I also made version with additional preset with only neck paint: here), Kat Bodypaint by @venusprincess-ts3 Bonus tip: If you want to use ats3 mask for your black metalhead/goth/alt/geisha/rococo sims makeup, but it overlapping over all eyeshadows/eyeliners, open them in s3pe, choose CASP resource, then press to "Grid" button, replace the numbers on OverlayPriority tab from whatever you have to 0x00000064 or 0x00000082.

DOWNLOAD | ALT (Mediafire) | SIMBLR.CC

@katsujiiccfinds @nightoccfinds @satellite-ccfinds @pis3update @kpccfinds @bloodys-s3ccfinds @ispys3cc @sssvitlanz

[kenobireads]

In celebration of finishing the full draft of book 3, here’s some Bestie Thrawn action. Here’s to unashamed character cameos 🥰

Anakin’s Fortress (book 2 of 3) Wattpad and AO3

Chapter 20

Admiral Thrawn climbs out of the fancy transport and turns back to me with a hand held out. I move carefully, my dress so expensive I'm appalled. To my irritation, Anakin knew exactly what I would choose and only offered the most expensive ones in this style. I only agreed when he showed me an image of the party location—which reeks of wealth.

It's black, of course. It pours straight to the floor, soft and loose and understated. There's a thick silk hem circling my body just under my breasts, which are covered in a triangular-shaped fabric that is held up by tiny straps. My back is exposed, and my heels hidden beneath the dress are short and, quite frankly, comfortable.

Simple, not restrictive, but in Anakin's words, still 'fuckable.' I like to think he meant beautiful, but whatever.

"I don't want to do this," I mumble softly to Thrawn.

"I'm not particularly fond of these social events either," he says in an even tone. "But they can be rather enlightening if you pay attention."

"Exactly how drunk am I allowed to get?"

He gives me a tiny grin. "Not much."

"That's what I figured."

I try to breathe normally but the closer we get to the doors, the closer I get to simply bolting.

"Kat," the admiral says in a harsh snap. I look at him with wide eyes. "You have two options. Stay nervous and miss things or pull yourself together and represent Lord Vader."

I clear my throat, oddly comforted by his ultimatum. "Which one attracts the least attention?" I ask with a small snicker. Thrawn isn't one to joke, however.

"You are not here to shy away from attention. You are as much an alien to these people as I am. If you are going to flee, do it now."

I glare at him, and his eyes flick to me, revealing nothing. I straighten and purse my lips. "You're trying to tell me you don't want to turn around and claim to have a stomach bug, sir?" His lips waver ever so slightly.

"Every time," he admits.

"You are trying to get me annoyed, aren't you?"

"Your reaction is your own. I am simply trying to advise you."

I let out a little hmph. "I'm the advisor," I say with the same tone as him. Joking isn't as fun with someone so serious.

"You will tell me who people are before they speak to me, and you will tell me what is relevant." If he wants me to do this, we'll do it.

"Of course. You will introduce yourself as Darth Vader's chief of security."

"Don't you think people will find that unbelievable?"

"Yet it is the truth, and Vader's threat to the Second Sister is well known." Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

"Am I going to be out of place because I'm not military?" I ask while eying his pristine white dress uniform. Honestly, I didn't know anything could be so white.

His lips turn up slightly. "I'm afraid you might not understand: Vader is not an official military person either." I frown. How could I not know that?

"He said he was the commander in chief."

"He is," Thrawn says cooly. "But he does what he wants and doesn't concern himself with the day-to-day running of the branches. His voice is as good as the Emperor's."

"Wait, that would mean..." I trail off.

"That under the right circumstances, an order from you could be seen as an order from our Emperor, yes."

I balk at him, my mouth open and my eyes wide. Boy, would my father be pissed.

He seems to take in my expression.

"I'm simply pointing out that, no, your official standing amidst the military sectors is not in question. Plus, this is not solely military. You will meet many politicians and people who spend time around them." We are almost to the door, so I figure I'm running out of time to ask questions.

"Am I supposed to be sly? Friendly? Stand-offish?"

"The second most powerful person in the galaxy relies on you."

I want to roll my eyes, as that is no answer at all.

"Understood," I mutter. He looks over at me wearing a sly grin and motions for me to enter before him with a slight bow. Is he reveling in my discomfort right now?

"My lady."

I take a breath. Fuck it. If these people want something to talk about, I'll give it to them.

[itwasrealtome]

OUTSIDE THE LIE

I- American Party

⚠️ TW: Mentions the Russian Mafia, alcohol, drugs, inappropriate behavior [kissing sessions, dominant behavior, insinuation of prostitution]

Tonight You Are Mine "In a sense, I'm nothing less than who you claim to be." — The Technicolors

XXX

Tribeca, NY Present time

THE HANDS on her watch seemed to challenge Olivia.

Just a few more minutes and the ordeal would come to an end. She took a deep breath and wiped the palm of her hands against her elegant black dress, hoping to ease her nerves. But tonight, the adrenaline rush felt slightly different.

May simply have been a concern. Not every day did she and her unit have to face this level of threat. Besides, she recalled from her years of experience that crossing paths with the Russian mafia were never a particularly good omen.

The vehicle meant to drive her to the location – a simple, but quite fancy design – made a final turn toward the hotel. One could have easily identified the building. It stood out in the middle of the street, daring to scrap the sky from some of its floors. Lights beaming from within, which only helped brighten a city where the sky had already darkened due to the night. From the outside, the establishment appeared to be fulfilling its primary function of housing a wealthy clientele. It was a few of the indoor activities that the Captain was most concerned about.

As the car pulled up to the imposing front doors, Olivia allowed herself one last moment. She watched as some clients made their way inside, dressed in the most elegant suits and dresses ever seen. The very sight gave her chills. She was there on a mission, and there was simply no way a little outfit would spoil the fun of doing her job.

–All set, just waiting for you Liv.

Sergeant Fin Tutuola's voice echoed in her ear as a simple warning.

Now was time for her to join the party.

She unbuckled herself, her hand taking the seat belt back to its source, only to reach with a slight tremor for the inner handle. Yet, she froze, unable to get herself to squeeze it right away. Any hope one more breath would soothe her nerves was dashed, for it was only when she raised her head and met the new ADA's gaze through the center mirror that her pulse began to slow down a bit.

–You'll get them, quietly promised Sonny. But, please Captain, don't make me regret this.

–It'll be fine.

On those words, she quickly made her way out of the vehicle. The door slammed in Carisi's face, barely had he told her to be careful. He couldn't contain his sigh anymore, watching through the rearview mirror Olivia's figure getting increasingly distant. Once she stepped through the doorways, he headed for the surveillance van, cursing under his breath.

The building was a genuine labyrinth for anyone unfamiliar with its surroundings. So much so that the SVU Captain felt lost within seconds, turning and returning in huge hallways all seemingly leading to the same place. Some frustration was starting to get the better of her as she knew she had gone over the building's blueprint at least a dozen times with her unit.

Perhaps one final look at the map wouldn't have been too much...

Making her way through one of the halls, she luckily overheard a conversation that led her directly to the intended location. The hotel lounge was much more spacious than she had imagined. Or at least, it certainly felt like it judged by the pictures she'd seen.

She walked over to the bar, ignoring the stares of some of the men to find herself a seat behind the counter. From there, if she turned around a bit, she could easily keep an eye on the clients. Her agents were also all within her line of sight.

On one side, Fin was in the company of the newest recruit, Officer Kat Tamin, meanwhile, on the other side, Amanda, a familiar face from several years, was blending in well with the crowd of workers. But most importantly, she had the reserved VIP area directly in front of her, which meant that if their guests were willing to show up as scheduled, then she couldn't miss them.

–Okay guys, let's get the party started.

XXX

THE EVENING promised to be much longer than originally planned.

Settled in the stakeout van, Sonny couldn't bring himself anymore from fidgeting in his chair. His body moving from left to right thanks to the wheels fixed under his seat. The officer standing by his side didn't dare put an end to it, just as bored as he was by the wait. And if the whole thing was driving them nuts from the outside, it wasn't any better inside the building itself.

On the monitors, the attorney had no problem keeping up with his coworkers' moves. Though his gaze was more often on Amanda, who in her spot was having no trouble passing the time, he had noticed the sudden impatience of his two coworkers gathered at the same table. Kat was more of a go-getter than someone who spent hours waiting around. The numerous disagreements between her and the former detective were no longer to be counted. However, no matter what the sergeant was thinking, Carisi was probably thinking the same.

They wanted to end this hunting party as soon as they could.

Meanwhile, at the bar, Olivia reached for the freshly poured glass of red wine a waitress slid toward her. She paused briefly to glance at the woman, giving her a small smile of appreciation. The evening was slow but she at least had plenty to keep her taste buds on their toes. A welcome alternative to the wine she usually treated herself to on her own at night. Although, the luxurious glass holding the alcohol may have had something to do with it.

She gently shook it, watching the dark red wine mingle in waves. Part of her hoped to return to the safety of her home, where her son was waiting. But another part, probably the most passionate about this work, was determined not to leave this place until she had at least seen one of the suspects. She understood the exhaustion of her detectives. She herself was a victim of it. But she refused not to try everything to do justice to the victims of this case.

So caught up in her thoughts, Fin's voice almost faded away like a puff of wind in her earpiece. She began by looking around, wondering what might have interrupted their never-ending suspense. Over her shoulder, she carefully studied the sergeant's gaze, fully aware that only he could lead her in the right direction. Then, she saw. And understood.

The hunt had just been launched.

By the lounge's main doors, surrounded by what appeared to be several presumably armed guards, stood two women whose very presence could not be ignored.

Though persistent, Olivia's gaze remained unnoticed among those of the other customers.

From the spot she had already spent most of her evening, she only managed to catch a glimpse of either of their faces. The one who looked a little smaller in size nevertheless carried an aura worthy of terrifying anyone who dared to get close to her. From the other, she got nothing but brunette locks and killer curves.

Undoubtedly one of them was the head of the whole operation, right?

–Wait a minute, the boss would be a woman?

As the youngest detective faced her partner for further confirmation, her captain eventually dropped her gaze and suppressed her words with a sip of wine.

–It wouldn't be the first time we've seen this.

–It doesn't matter. Regardless of which one is pulling the strings, she's not alone.

Carisi's words echoed despite the distance from which he spoke them. He was right. In the end, it didn't matter if the boss was a woman, what counted though was to know which of the two was the actual threat. The only aim was to thwart this individual's plans.

Down at the bar, Olivia once again politely approached the bartender to refill her now empty glass with wine. The alcohol had had plenty of time to spread through her veins. A little liquid courage was not going to affect her work in any way.

But that's all it took to draw attention to her.

The brunette, already settled on one of the booths of the reserved VIP space, could not look away from her. She watched her every move, not bothering the redhead at her side who hastily dispatched her men as she pleased.

That's all it took for Olivia. She knew.

–Which one do you think is the boss?

–From the way the redhead leads the troops, I'll say her. Amanda nodded to the VIP area, urging Kat to pay closer attention. The brunette is just for show.

–I'm willing to bet anything that anyone who gets too close ends up dead in an alley.

The blonde detective was the first to show interest in Tutuola's words, cracking a subtle smile his way. If anyone was always willing to bet on anything, it was her. Even though officially everyone on the team knew not to give her the opportunity. Tonight, the odds were stacked against her. The bet was obvious, leaving no chance to anybody who would've wanted a different outcome. Of course, whoever got too close to the brunette would die in agony.

Hence, nothing good came out of it for Olivia, who could no longer rid herself of the latter's interest.

Each sip was meant to boost her confidence, which she was slowly losing with each passing second, but this woman's eyes had a way of unsettling her that she could not explain. Could it have been the suspect's beauty or some repressed feelings the captain was trying so hard to keep hidden, but there was something else.

A detective's intuition was seldom wrong. This time, Olivia was determined she was onto something.

–Looks like our little friend likes it rough.

The Assistant District Attorney was not wrong. Even from the stakeout position, one could easily witness the behavior of the suspected boss toward her guest. One hand wandering under the – short – dress of the latter, the other one tightly grasping her chin.

The brunette hardly had time to withdraw her eyes from her target as her lips were already captured. Only a brief second passed before she forced herself to return the kiss. Out of habit, though also to try to keep a minimum of intimacy, she caught herself trying to push the redhead's hand away.

–Что происходит сегодня вечером, детка? Each word was spoken quitely into her ear. Разве ты не хочешь быть моей хорошей девочкой? (What's going on tonight, baby? Don't you want to be my good girl?)

She felt her earlobe being captured by the woman's teeth before the latter's lips found access to her neck. No matter how badly she hoped to get away from the Russian's touch, she couldn't deny how good it felt to receive that kind of attention.

Tonight, she just had a different thing on her mind.

–Well, there's no denying she's hot!

–True. I just think the brunette has more charm.

–Focus!

Olivia had no intention of being so harsh on her team. On any other day, she would have been careful, except this time she didn't have the patience. She had just finished watching two of her suspects amid a kissing session and now had to settle for a game of looks with one of them while the other eagerly devoured her neck.

If the night already felt like forever, the SVU Captain had a strong belief it was only getting started.

As she turned back to the counter, intending to order what she assumed would be a final glass of wine, the brunette's gaze still pierced through her. She tried her best to dismiss it, shooting Amanda a frown of distress over her shoulder. While she expected it to end there, it was pretty far from done yet.

–There's movement, stated Fin through his mic. The brunette heads for the bar.

No one had seen the young woman stand up, or even leave the VIP area. From that point on, she seemed to weave through the crowd as if she owned the place. A confident pace, her head held high, and an ever-present bodyguard on her heels. Finding out which way she was heading was almost a blow.

–Uh, Captain? Kat's voice spoke of her concerns. It looks like she's coming your way.

A brief curse muttered through her teeth and Olivia sensed someone behind her. The clicking of the young woman's heels did not signal her arrival, yet the perfume cloud flowing from her undoubtedly betrayed her.

Drink in hand, Benson turned around – again –and arched an eyebrow in her direction. Eyes sweeping over the brunette from head to toe, waiting for an indication of her presence.

–Добрый вечер, незнакомка, spoke the doe in a flawless Russian accent. I couldn't help noticing you from over there. (Good evening, stranger.)

–Oh, really?

Olivia opted to act innocent, a thin smile forming on her lips. She swayed her wine in a smooth motion, her eyes locked onto the woman's, while a whole plan was emerging in her mind. Over her years of duty, she had gained enough experience to see through a situation like this one. Everything was on the line at that very peculiar moment. If there was a joker in the deck, it was either now or never. And so, no matter the consequences.

–See, this place is crowded but I've only had eyes for you since I arrived.

–You seem to be in pretty good company, though.

She pointed to the redhead, still sitting with her guests a few steps away from them, but the brunette did not take her eyes off her. She took another step toward Olivia, a flirtatious smile flashing her Colgate teeth, and ran her hand over one of her bare knees. Her skin was soft and warm so that it no longer felt so forbidden. Benson was hit by chills that instantly betrayed her. Her body had spoken before she even had time to utter the words that had gathered on the tip of her tongue.

–What would you say if I chose to stick around and treat you to a drink?

–Uhm, the SVU Captain feigned some reflection, then slightly sat up. I'll say someone might not enjoy the gesture.

–No need to worry about her, дорогая. All you have to do is agree to spend the night with me, and I promise I'll handle anything related to Natalia. (darling)

While Olivia was getting progressively more persuaded by the young woman, the officer working beside Carisi began to look for any information about the one known as Natalia. His fingers tapping frantically on the keyboard in front of him, so loudly that the noise began to break through the new ADA's headphones.

Sonny nearly cursed on several occasions, each time chewing on his lips right on time. No one could have guessed what annoyed him the most between his former Captain flirting with a – still–unknown – suspect, and the young man at his side stifling the women's words with his fuss. He heard words here and there, reading – or at least trying to – the rest on his coworker's lips.

The noise lasted until the brunette headed back to the VIP area, leaving behind Benson who suddenly felt her face heat up under the bright spotlights.

–Everything okay, Captain?

The woman faced the counter again, turning her back to her unit and hiding from them the sight of her face deeply impacted by the emotions she had just felt. It was only part of her job. However, it had been a long time since someone – a woman – had approached her in such a way.

Her heart swaying between two sides, she sucked in a deep breath before finally saying something.

–Yeah, all good. Did you find out anything about our new friends?

–You mean aside from the fact that Natalia hasn't lifted a finger yet regarding your interaction with her girlfriend?

–We're still looking, informed Carisi. I just want you to be careful. We don't know what this woman has in store for us.

–He's right Liv. We've seen this kind of arrangement before, but we don't know what the price is.

–Isn't it weird? asked Amanda, earning curious looks from the entire team. First, she proves to be possessive and dominant, and then she lets the girl hit on another woman and a stranger at that. It just doesn't feel right to me. I mean, look at them.

Nothing would have been stranger than sincerity from two people like them. Still, Olivia couldn't help but frown at the sight in front of her. The woman with whom she had just exchanged a few words was now under Natalia's control. Their faces so close to each other, spitting and receiving each other's words without being able to step back due to the redhead's grip on the other's chin.

It looked like trouble. Almost to the point of making Benson, who had nothing to blame herself for, regret this whole discussion.

Seconds felt like hours facing such a sight. It was like watching an old silent movie. One in which the acts alone were enough to speak for themselves and which would probably be off-limits to those under 18.

Olivia assumed the two lovers were communicating in an eastern language she still had some memories of. Yet, even if this was indeed the case, she was too far away to be able to hear anything. Only her team's questions and comments tickled her eardrum from time to time. Her eyes lingering on these two beings consuming each other without modesty.

She watched as the elder displayed her intimate familiarity with the brunette's body. Her hands drawing the curves of the youngest, from her neck to the curve of her buttocks. Her mouth giving up the rosy lips of her partner to overfly her throat then the start of her cleavage. One thing was for sure, if she was going to let her go for the night, she certainly wasn't going to make it easy.

Much like the SVU Captain, one might have wondered what price Fin was referring to. It could have been money, weapons, or drugs. It could have been anything.

Only, the attractive dark-haired woman had promised a single thing in compensation for her night.

With her eyes sparkling from mischief, she winked one last time at the so-called boss after a final slap on her butt. Once again, she melted among the crowd, grabbing a well-deserved drink on her way out.

Now, if the Special Victims Unit had found the evening lengthy, they were not about to be disappointed.

***

Taglist:

@electricboost @hi-i-1 @sammi1642 @emskisworld @arie109 @ssaaggwwaa @youdontknowwhotfiamm @arie109 @marvelandotheruniversesloveradhd @wittygusty @msschemmenti @ssaaggwwaa @g1u2y

[akuzeisms]

@thewardenqueen cont'd ;;

"I'm... not sure," She said, "I knew my parents were betrayed, I just had no idea it was some double agent... My brother and I trusted him... and now I don't know who to trust..."

Katrina knew the information they'd come across was a lot to take in. Hell, it was a lot to take in even for her; she could only imagine the effect it was having on Avery. But Katrina also knew first-hand just how horrible Cerberus was. She was one of their many victims, just like Avery. The scars of Akuze proved that much.

"Well... what we know about Cerberus says it all. They were an Alliance black-ops that went rogue, and now they do whatever the hell they please, regardless of who gets caught in the crossfire. Your parents probably weren't the first victim of theirs, and they certainly weren't the last." Kat knew that sounded almost callous, but her hate for Cerberus was palpable in her tone. "Trust is..." Ah, how could she put it? "Trust is earned. Trust is something that comes from the actions of a person, and that's what you need to base it on."

Katrina couldn't help but think of her own brother. His lifestyle was very different from hers, completely in fact, and although he hated the Alliance, he still knew his sister's allegiance to them was personal, and respected that. As they'd grown older and wiser, he'd learned to respect her for her decisions, and she too respected that his lifestyle was simply that: his lifestyle. "Sometimes even people in... questionable situations can be trustworthy. It all depends on the person. Someone may be part of a gang, yet still to some degree be a good person. Or have good tendencies. Maybe they're just part of it because they were drafted into it, by an obligation. That's what you have to look at. Look at the individual, not the organization."

[sillyteecup]

Right in the centre of my mind: We'll never be those kids again

Thomas Jefferson x Black!Original!Character

Ch.7

Warnings:

Toxic relationship

Mentions of sex

Swearing/cursing

A.N: With the end of my weird relationship with Kat, must come the end of Right in the centre of my mind. This series was very personal to me and one of my favourite. There will be an epilogue though to properly close it off...in the meantime...enjoy❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of summer break.

As teens, Thomas and Iman would simply bike around the neighborhood, eat ice cream, watch movies, play video games, hang out at the shack, play some basketball, and of course: occasionally get wasted.

Now that they had grown up, they still did all that stuff. Only this time they were madly in love with each other. They held hands, they cuddled, they kissed and they had sex.

A shitload of sex.

But those weren't the most intimate moments of their summer. No, Iman preferred the nights when Thomas would wash her hair then style it before she slept and when she'd do the same for him. She also loved the nights when Thomas tried to give her pedicures, did little spa treatments with her, and stargazed with her. She loved all those little moments.

During the school year they'd facetime, spend hours on end on the phone with each other. At first it was all sunshine and rainbows. Telling each other to hang up so they could hear each other's voices for the last time before the end of the calls. Texting each other "Good morning", "Good afternoon", and "Goodnight" everyday. Always making sure the other ate at least twice. Basically doing a bunch of cliché long distance couple things.

But unfortunately all good things must come to an end.

They started fighting during the calls. Fighting about late answered texts, likes on the wrong pictures on Instagram, being out too late and a bunch of other dumb things. They should've seen it coming though. They both knew how insecure the other was before getting into this, but they thought they could handle it.

They didn't break up though.

Instead they pulled through till the next summer in the New York where they biked around the neighborhood, ate ice cream, watched movies, played video games, hung out at the shack, played basketball and occasionally got wasted.

None of that without having to get used to each other again.

Summer's over and she's sitting next to Thomas in her garden, playing with his hair as they watch their last sunset for their summer, starting to realize that maybe they didn't think this through. Why? Because...well, distance. Iman has to go back to Oxford and Thomas has to head back to Yale. Meaning they have to repeat the cycle. She's realizing that them being together was a recipe for disaster anyway.

"Babe, are you listening to me?" he asks her in concern. She looks up at him and all the different feelings come rushing in. All the love, the hatred, the anger, the happiness, every memory, sweet and haunting. All of it.

All. At. Once.

But she smiles. "I'm sorry, I just zoned out a little." Just as she expects, he laughs softly. He always does. "So uhm, summer's almost over," she whispers. "Yeah and?" She chews on her lip nervously. "I have to head back to Oxford," she sighs. Thomas shakes his head, still wearing his signature warm smile. "I know." "And you have to go to Yale." He hums in acknowledgement. He turns to gaze at Iman. "So what's the plan," she asks him.

He seems confident in what he's about to say. Like he's got it all planned out in his head. "Long distance of course. Like last year," he shrugs. "Mmm, like last year," she mumbles. He turns to her with a raised eyebrow. "S'there a problem?" Yes. Iman has a problem. It's the part about going back to how things were last year.

"Thomas, we fought a lot last year." "Yeah but we've grown since then," he counters.

Iman is positive that her next thought is well...a thought.

"Have we though?" she mutters unconsciously. Thomas sat up to face her. "Am I missing something?" he asks her. Having realized that she said it too loud and now has to deal with it, Iman shrugs. "Thomas, us spending a lot of time together is not the same as taking the time to grow as a couple. That shit requires us to acknowledge and try to fix our mistakes. All we've done is pretend we never made any," she explains to him. She tries her level best not to raise her voice or come off as brash and insensitive. The last thing she needs on their last night together is a fight. "I just wanted us to enjoy our summer together," he sighs in exasperation.

It's a mechanism for Thomas Jefferson. Try to cover the negative with a shitload of positivity and hope the negative stuff goes away.

Unfortunately, life isn't a Disney movie. It is gonna be a moonless night though. Something Iman notes.

They needed to talk things out, no matter how uncomfortable the subject matter was. "I'm pretty sure we still could've done that after fixing the cracks in our relationship," she argues.

Again she doesn't yell, but now she sounds condescending. And she knows it. It's not intentional, but she knows it's gonna trigger Thomas and she knows that Thomas being Thomas is gonna say something that's gonna trigger her instead of being a grown up and saying "Hey, I don't like your tone. It's disrespectful and it's pissing me off. Stop."

"Well I'm sorry for caring about trying to make the most of the little time we have together," he says in an equally condescending tone.

Iman rolls her eyes. Of course Thomas is gonna take this route.

"I'm not saying that you're a bad guy for wanting us to spend together for the summer-" "Then what are you saying?"

And just like that Thomas has pulled the trigger by interrupting her.

"First of all, don't interrupt me, I'm talking. And second of all, I'm saying that ironing out the kinks in our relationship wouldn't have hurt," Iman reasons.

Thomas scoffs, still not seeing Iman's point of reasoning. "Exactly what kinks are you referring to?" Iman stared at Thomas incredulously, trying to find the words to describe how fucking dysfunctional-never mind that was enough. That's not the only thing she found though.

"Why must everything be a fight with you?" she asks him defeatedly. 2 minutes pass with Thomas seemingly having no answer to the question.

As the darkness finally settles, Iman gets up and walks away from Thomas, unwillingly breaking every promise she made to him at the end of last summer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @ramp-it-up @summerofsnowflakes @sebastianabucknettastan @delaber @daveeddiggsit

[txemrn]

Book: The Nanny Affair

Warning: smidge of angst; slightest hint of sexuality

Word Count: 509 (+/-)

A/N: Writer's block due to feelings of inadequacy is real. But, my super amazing and beautiful sister @fanjessfic is, simply put, an angel. She challenged me to write a ficlet about one of my favorite characters (she wrote a super sweet one here). This is the "Once... Always..." universe that I am now referring to as "the Schuyler-Dalton Chronicles" (or as we jokingly call it, "The Red Flags" 🤣).

Cinching her pink terry robe around her waist, Brynn saunters to the closet in her own private quarters of the penthouse. She absentmindedly scrunches her dampened waves, considering her outfit options for the early summer morning. As she reaches for a relaxed pair of ripped denim shorts and a faded Metallica tee, a throat suddenly clears behind her.

"You left me all by lonesome this morning."

She giggles, rolling her eyes at the deep, sultry voice. She lightly pads over to her boss--and newly established boyfriend--stealing a quick kiss.

"Mmmm, sorry, babe," she slides her fingertips across his bare chest, relishing the contours of his favorably strong physique before savoring another taste of his lips. "You were sleeping so soundly--"

"Shoot," he snickers. He rubs his hand over his stubble, hiding his pleasure-filled smile. "Do you blame me? After last night? And that thing you did the third and fourth time with your tongue--?"

"Samuel!" she squeals, swatting at his arm. She retreats to the bedroom with her clothes.

"And I still have you screaming my name."

Brynn pauses and playfully glares at Sam, raising a mischievous eyebrow.

"What are you doing anyway?" Sam inquires, leaning his body against the doorframe. "It's Saturday, and the boys don't come home until later."

"Eleven." Brynn slides on her undergarments before slipping on her chosen apparel. She grabs her well-worn black Chuck Taylors, and hastily ties them onto her feet.

"Huh? 'Eleven'?"

"Yes, Sam," Brynn counters, slightly annoyed. "I'm picking Mickey and Mason up from Hudson's at eleven, which only gives me three hours."

"For what?"

"Wow. Seriously, Sam?" She condescendingly chuckles. She stands, tying a long-sleeve, red plaid button-down shirt around her hips. "Do you think I just play with the boys?"

"Well--" he clicks his tongue, rubbing the back of his neck. "--yeah."

Sam attempts to interject, but Brynn holds her hand up, silencing him before he starts.

Brynn scoffs, crossing her arms. "Who do you think keeps this place looking like you don't have two rambunctious seven-year-old boys?"

"Where do you think your food comes from? You didn't hire a chef." Brynn grabs her leather crossbody satchel, and walks out of the room. "You hired a nanny."

"Brynn--" Sam chases after her, finding her summoning for the elevator.

"Three meals a day, Sam. I grocery shop, and I cook three well-balanced meals every day. Plus a snack--"

"Baby, I'm sorry--"

"--plus your lunch!" she thumps her pointer finger into his chest.

The elevator dings, the golden doors opening for her to exit. She steps onto the lift, arms still crossed with her hip popped to the side. Her stormy blue eyes pierce daggers into his darkened gaze.

"Mr. Dalton--"

"Don't be like this--"

"Mister. Dalton. You pay me to keep this household running smoothly. The laundry. The dishes. The vacuuming. The mopping," she pushes the button for the first floor, "not for 'that thing I did with my tongue'--"

She mockingly winks at Sam, holding up three fingers, quickly adding a fourth finger as the doors close between them.

***

TNA tags:

@ao719 @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @lovelyladyk88 @neotericthemis @pixie88 @shannonsaid @shannonwrote @shewillreadyou @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123

[lizzybeth1986]

The white characters usually get more attention from the writers but I’ve noticed that the fandom doesn’t hold black character and other CoC to the same standart. Asian Liam, Poppy, Kat, Damien, Thomas, Alana and Raleigh instantly become fan favourites whereas black characters like Sloane, Shane, Zoey, Kiara, Lily and Luke barely get a #TheyDeservedBetter mention. Why are asian and latino characters and faces so much more popular than the black and blasian characters and faces?

(So this is something I've spoken about briefly in a couple different posts, so thank you for the opportunity to let me expand on this a little, anon)

TW: fandom racism, and I mean some of the examples are pretty damn gross

You're right. I've spoken before about how even when we speak of character-of-colour treatment in the fandom, we tend to miss noticing that there's often a hierarchy within that broader category. White characters of course get way more of a pass from PB and the fandom, but you'll notice for instance that certain characters of colour (and you'll find that majority of these seem to be the Latino LIs) get away with messy behaviour more than others...under certain conditions. I have a couple brief thoughts over why.

Colourism

When we speak about racism, it isn't simply enough to frame it as white vs POC. Leaving it to just that simple binary makes it easy for people to miss the nuances of how we view different people of colour. It even allows some to justify their "preferences" in LIs and favourite characters by claiming "I don't only like white characters! See, my MCs date Zig and Damien" (believe me, I've seen this argument myself preeeetty often).

For those not familiar with the term, colourism refers to discrimination that focuses on skin tone, and not just race. Often, you can find people discriminating against others in their own communities for being darker skinned, and you will also notice that lighter-skinned people of a certain race will be viewed as more attractive and more deserving of opportunities to darker-skinned ones. Examining racism without going into the harm of colourism leaves out a HUGE chunk of the nuance that goes into this discussion. Here are two really good videos that go into how colourism plays out in larger race discrimination: "This is Colorism" by YouTuber T1J, and (my favourite!) "Confessions of A D-Girl", a TED Talk by Chika Okoro.

There are many of us who enter into a new series for the first time looking out for characters to pair our MCs with (not all, mind you...but from what I'm seeing on my dash and in the tags, many). And the thing with going into a series with romantic attraction in mind, is that the characters you have a preference for? At least in this fandom? They're also the ones you'll give the most sympathy to, the ones you'll spend the most money on, the ones whose actions you'll keep striving to justify no matter how ridiculous said actions may be. The way the fandom is now, being "attracted" to a character type doesn't simply account for the way they're romanced: it accounts often for whether we see them as human at all. 

It accounts for who we choose to understand vs who we choose to hate on, when these characters mess up or make mistakes. So a Damien can get away with not apologizing to Hayden or Sloane for his past hypocrisy and hostility - to the point where his fans will hail his growth as "exceptional" for the tiniest crumb of humanity towards these two characters - but a Shane will be called "not a true friend" for rightly pointing out that perhaps his BFF is not as invested in their friendship as he is.

In short, I think we as a fandom tend to assign worth based on desirability. And that "desirability" is often limited to whiteness, or to an adjacency to whiteness. The closer you are to "white" the more attractive this fandom may find a character, and the more forgiving they will be of their flaws.

You'll notice that most of the CoC who get this preferential treatment tend to have lighter skin tones - like you mentioned, often the Latino or Asian characters. I would, however, acknowledge that other factors deserve to be pointed out too.

1. For instance, are the differences in CoC treatment related to the overall cast of characters, esp LIs? For instance, would a Justin be so easily viewed as "abusive" (!) if the BFF character wasn't default white? Would a Damien have really been treated so well mid-Book if the only "white" "male" LI in the cast wasn't customizable?

2. Customizable characters. Contrary to popular notions of them being "favourites" and "forced" in general, I've noticed some...pretty disturbing trends in the way fandom chooses to perceive them (more on this in a future essay). Suffice to say that I've noticed that customizable characters are treated best (both by fandom and PB) when either there are no default white/"preferred ethnicity" characters, or when there's more than one customizable character and the default option...is dark skinned (Platinum, hello?). Cases where the race is non-customizable but the gender is...also factor into how we treat them.

In every other case, the fandom has often set  them to standards that they know are impossibly high, and has been guilty of constantly shifting goal posts to justify a negative opinion of said character (Liam and Hayden are the biggest examples I can give of this trend. Just look into how often Liam is called "creepy" for just breathing next to the MC or Hayden being labelled "whiny and complaining" for rightfully calling out their friends for treating them like a goddamn object). Most times, said people in the fandom justify the vitriol as "pushback against a forced LI", which I personally find hilarious given the actually forced LIs tend to be the darlings of the same fandom.

3. Sexism. Very often women of the  ethnicities that the anon has mentioned above, are not always given the same amount of consideration either. Do the female characters listed in anon's ask (Poppy, Alana) get more preferential treatment than a Lily or a Zoey do? Very much. But I feel like I still can't place them on the level of treatment their male counterparts get. After all, Hana Lee is Chinese, and she's been given a gross amount of hate for no fault of her own, and just because the team that wrote her refused to explore her immense potential. How did the fandom speak about that problem? By constantly comparing her to a white woman and speaking of her in derogatory terms. Ergo - they decided she was the problem, and chose to shit on her to prop up Olivia instead.

Plus, it's far, far easier for us as a fandom to make one flaw of a WOC her entire character, while brushing aside her male counterpart's own flaws as things that make him cool or interesting. Look at the people some fans compare Poppy - a freaking college student - to. Vanessa. GAIUS. Look at how Jackie Varma is often still viewed with the same annoyance and irritation by fandom in the latter book, even though she has grown and changed and acknowledged the MC's gifts in their profession in the previous one. This is something black women in the books face the most, but other women of colour face this too in comparison to the lighter-skinned MOC.

(I must take the time here to highlight - as a South Asian woman who used to light up every time a desi character was introduced - how appallingly we treat the few South Asian female LIs in the books. No one bothered to explore the roots of the problems in Teja's characterization, instead happily comparing her to Marcus von Groot like canon did and viewing her as merely a bad character rather than one who was unjustly treated to poor storylines by the team. People were more than happy to shit on Jackie for her distancing from the MC, rather than even questioning why she was being written out of the story like this. Y'all will have deep dives for every pasty white character or "spicy brown" character that sneers at you, why the hell did you not have the same energy to give these women?)

Not many will highlight straightaway that they don't find darker skinned people attractive enough to show empathy to... but in this case the actions speak louder than words. Choosing lighter skinned LIs of color to prove you have POC in your LI roster, making snide comments about the appearance of the darker skinned sprites ("their smiles look like a horse's" - yes I  actually recall reading that shit with my own two eyes), using whitewashed faceclaims for them repeatedly, focusing on ONE moment that you dislike in their stories rather than their entire arc, constantly ignoring their issues and taking their dialogues out of context...no one is going to straight out tell the world if they have that inherent colorist bias, but one  can tell when they do.

Sexual Stereotyping (Objectification? Fetishizing?)

I mentioned in the previous section that very often Latine LIs (mostly the male ones but sometimes that includes certain female LIs like Sonia or Bianca or an Egyptian LI like Kamilah - though not always to the same extent) tend to be treated "well" by PB and the fandom...esp when the rest of the LI cast include darker skinned or customizable characters. But it would be remiss of me to mention this without going into the other, very dangerous trend we follow in our discussions of them - that we often reduce them to their antics in the bedroom.

Most of the fandom is aware of, and speaks about this. How often we talk about their sex scenes, their dirty talk, over any other thing they say or do...how the fanfic featuring those characters have them yell badly-translated Spanish during smut scenes. The moment Damien began to say "get down to your knees", the fandom basically left no stone unturned to speak of him more as a sex object than as a person. And PB leans into this: Damien's sex scenes are written with more care than most things in his story, Raleigh's Spanish dialogue in their final sex scene is given more attention than their entire arc, the fandom goes gaga everytime the MoTY MC says "sir" in front of Thomas.

So even while such LIs benefit in some ways from the preferential treatment, it still comes at the price of them being seen as whole human characters. The underlying sentiment is still "we will like you but only when you prove that you're desirable enough to fuck". Up until such a point, comments on a Damien or Justin will range from pure annoyance to straight-up accusations of "abuse". It's still not the same level of empathy we're often willing to extend to a default white character like Beckett or Ethan or Drake - who are often viewed as more than their bedroom antics.

There are times when this extends to how we view other lighter skinned CoC as well - though not always to the extent of Latino characters. You see this on occasion with a couple of Asian male LIs, such as Jax or Asian Liam - not very often with South Asian male LIs since there aren't any who are adults (Ajay is still in school, but I did see the fandom flip every time he called the MC "jaan". I can only hope it was an innocent joy at seeing a Hindi/Urdu word somewhere).

An interesting contrast to this would be the fandom reaction to Zephyr from TE (not an LI, but clearly a prominent character - placed in a similar "valued friend" role as Zack from TF), who was both brown AND aro-ace. He was suspected almost immediately, people were intent on labelling him untrustworthy almost as soon as it was clear that he wouldn't be a romantic option. He was mocked and called annoying and once it was clear he was innocent, none of the Beckett stans who badmouthed him earlier, spoke about the things they'd said - instead they moved on to showering sympathy on the actual culprit in that scenario. How much of that might have been related to being unable to shove him into the box that many Latino characters had already been placed into? I honestly don't know. But I do wonder about it sometimes.

So...well...MOC who are light skinned, or of an ethnicity that people can easily sexualize/objectify...get "better treatment" than black characters. But when I see that treatment on its own, or in relation to the white characters...can I really call it "better"? To what extent can forcing brown characters into stereotypes that make their body and their more sexual aspects more prominent or important... really be called good treatment?

Black Characters

Right so...here's where I'd like to point you to some other fab posts on fandom racism and hypocrisy from fellow black players...coz this is stuff they've been speaking about for a long, long time. This is a very small list, so anyone who has seen more of those and would like to add, feel free! I'll update it on this post:

"Being (a) Black (LI) in Choices"

A reblog I recently saw that was not Choices fandom centric per se, but mentions how fandoms suddenly take an interest in white side characters when the main love interest is a person of color

This post that was written after Omar from AME was given a goddamn DOG as a fucking faceclaim

Treatment meted out to unpopular female characters

Related to this, how black female antagonists were written vs others, esp white ones

These posts about Dallas James  and why the fandom suddenly turns their back on the "grumpy slowburn LI" when he is black. The second essay explores a variety of coc besides him, though.

On Shane and Feeling Betrayed

This fantastic essay on Lily Spencer, written way back when BB Book 1 was out. It's mostly about PB, but does discuss some of the fandom issues as well

This essay on Kiara, written back in Book 3

This essay on both Harper and Aurora Emery

This wasn't calling out the fandom or anything re: Abbie Bishop in The Freshman series, but I do recall it really shifted dialogue from "Abbie and Tyler are both annoying" to actually looking at Tyler's treatment of her.

The sheer lack of content and vocal love for certain black characters

As far as my memory goes, here's a sample of the opinions I've seen on black characters in fandom:

- Mocked for having trouble interacting in social settings and general awkwardness (Sloane)

- Hated on for breathing in their fave LI's direction (Kiara. Mind you, Olivia on the other hand can force a kiss on Liam and the same fandom simply shrugs)

- Suspected of shady shit even when it's clear the culprit is someone else (Grant, Griffin, Aurora, and now Zoey)

- Mistrusted even after they prove to us they're on our side (Sloane, Vera)

- Hated on for not being the "perfect" friend (Shane)

- Hated on for not wanting to be friends (Aurora)

- Hated on for normal responses to a traumatic situation (Imogen)

- Hated on for xenophobia (okay) without ever examining the slut shaming and biases the same character faced (Xanthe)

- Faceclaimed as a dog (Omar)

-Rejected for being "rude" (Dallas)

- Called "forced LI" when Beckett fucking Harrington was in the same fucking book (Griffin)

- Rejected because his story arc involved being a workaholic (!) (Mr Sloan from from RoE)

Btw, this is just the tip of the iceberg. There's probably a million I'm missing. But the fact of the matter is that black characters can and do get measured up against a standard that most others - that includes lighter skinned characters of colour - are not. When they are wholesome and compassionate and loving and emotional, they'll be called 'boring' or 'spineless'. The moment they voice an opinion that isn't convenient to the MC or the player, they deserve to be hated on, they deserve vitriol. There is precious little attempt to even acknowledge they have a perspective, much less explore what that perspective may be. When they're subject to bad treatment, often the same fandom will tiptoe carefully around that fact, sometimes justifying the treatment, sometimes only providing mild acknowledgement that contrasts in a huge huge way to the loud protests they'd made against the same characters earlier.

I'll come back to the original point I made- the disturbing trend of correlating desirability to worth, and who we choose to give empathy to. In a colourist/racist society especially, that has dangerous repercussions. In a society that sees darker skinned people as...not good enough, not worthy enough, not attractive enough (though it won't be said out loud), an attitude that views a black person as not meriting concern or empathy in situations where white or lighter skinned characters would - results in an environment where PB can almost get away with killing a Rafael from OH because he's "not that popular".

Most of the awful stuff that has happened to multiple black characters, happened because PB believed they could get away with it. And where did they get that impression from? I don't know. You tell me.

[hyunnie]

hi kat~ @moonlit-han here from my main...!! this is a bit long, but i wanted to say: thank you for mentioning how hyunjin's dance cover is so much more than how attractive he is.

it's easy to focus only on the look, the presentation of performances, but they're always more than that. and, personal pieces like this are absolutely about the emotion, the meaning. yes, yet again hyunjin looked incredible (and i'll be the first to admit that the piercing, whether real or not, is definitely hot). i love how you said the piece is about how he isn't a "perfect proper prince"--that word choice strikes me as incredibly accurate! the costuming, in particular, alludes to it with the cape and black and white formalwear; even something as small as hyunjin tying back his hair reinforces the idea of conforming to others' standards or expectations.

throughout the piece, he was unapologetic in his movements, portraying the emotions in the song and his own interpretations. he so easily could have danced with wild abandon, but he kept something back, as if still trying to fit that "perfect prince" mold. i kept waiting for the usual slightly fling-y style to appear and it didn't (much). i don't know if that was a stylistic choice or simply that he's continuing to grow as a dancer, but it was certainly effective! and as a dancer far more well-versed in modern and hip-hop than i, i'm sure you can speak to the potential stylistic choices in the choreography. all in all, i really enjoyed how he choreographed it. the combination of small, contained and large, sweeping movements further and wonderfully highlighted the dissonance between how he "should" be and how he'd like to be or how truly is.

i hope hyunjin had a hand in each aspect of producing this dance cover, that he thought about the symbolism linked to the aesthetic choices, etc.. obviously, the choreography itself is incredibly representative of the emotions and message of the song, but coupled with things like the distortion of the music while the film is black and white just makes it all the more powerful. i hope he knows that we see his talent and that he's not just a pretty face. far from it. he clearly feels emotions deeply, and that comes through in his dancing. he's worked hard at his craft and you can tell. compared to even a few months ago, he seems more grounded in his movements. it seems to me that, as he's dancing, he now carries his weight (and balance) more in his torso and hips, rather than his shoulders--it's just one more example of improvement and growth that will help him keep dancing and dancing well. so yeah~ i can't wait to watch him continue growing as an artist and person!!

aaaand please know that you yourself are a lovely dancer and a talented gif and graphics maker!! have a lovely night/day, and be well!

OH MY GOD GIRL THAT WAS SO ELOQUENT 🥺

everyone ^^^^ read this!!!!

thank you for sending this in girl AAAHHH

[animepleasegood2]

Tag Game!

➡Tagged by: @nya-vivi​

Gender: Female

Star sign: Cancer

Height: 5ft 6 in / 167 cm

Birthday: June 29

Fav bands: Big Bang, SNSD, Blackpink KAT-TUN, AAA (I'm a Kpop and Jpop fans and simply learned to appreciate new cultures.)

Fav solo artists: Bruno Mars, Selena Gomez, Crystal Kay, Miyano Mamoru, Eve, Jay Park, Rainych, Shayne Orok( A mix of pop singers and YouTubers. That is pretty much my jam!)  

Song stuck in my head: "Mahou" [Magic] by Myuk (Writing by Eve) I didn't cut out my old habit of watching new series every season since high school. Also, "Accumula Town" from the Pokemon Black and White soundtrack. IDK if that counts but ever since the news on the Pokemon remake games coming soon in the Nintendo Switch, this song has been popping out in my dashboard and I have been listening to it addictively.

Last movie: I want to eat your pancreas. ( Even though, the anime plot was obvious however it managed to stimulate my emotions down the road. Bittersweet ending that teaches you about the importance of communication and to enjoy your life to the fullest.)

Last show: Accurately Attack on Titan. ( However, I was re-watching some retro animes at the same time called "Grander Musashi" [Fish show] and " Chousoko Spinners" [About Yo-yo]. The shows ridiculously go into an intense training arc and tournament like how you would see in Shounen anime nowadays. Despite all of that, a part of my childhood does enjoy these old paced shows that hold a special place in my heart. Bear with me! )

When I created this blog: I don't remember.

Last thing I googled: Grander Musashi in Arabic. ( Yeah, I know I'm a dork. I actually watched the series in Arabic and wanted to binge-watched my retro animes from its original dub (Japanese). Also, I research it in Japanese in case if any of you wanted to watch the retro series that I mentioned.

Do I get asks: Yes, I guess so.

Following: I just daily reblog whatever I watch on TV and usually on Yu Yu Hakusho tags, always eager for any new content, news or merchandise. 

Why I chose this URL: The origin of my username was founded in my freshmen days in high school. Long story short, I was praying to God that I would survive the three-episodes shot of each anime series that I was watching in each season, hoping it would be a great show that I will learn something out of it. This is why I call myself "Anime Please Good." :) Don't ask for more, I was a weird teen who preferred spending the day at home. The irony, now I wish the opposite.

Other blogs: Well, maybe I will create a new one if I finally publish the story that I was working on for quite a while. Hopefully, I regain my motivation and stop my procrastination.

Average hours of sleep: Ideally 5-7 hours but the lockdown is messing around my sleeping routine.

Lucky number: 7 ( I love Nana so much, would totally recommend it for people who love a slice of life/romantic stories and teaches a lot of life notions) I'm so blinded by the show that I almost forgot that this number brings bad luck. And no, I'm not a masochist!

Instruments: Piano. I haven't played it for a while. I do enjoy the classical soundtrack to calm my mood and help me to script.

What I’m wearing: A pair of camouflage buttoned t-shirt and pants Pj set and hairclip for my Rapunzel's hair. My whole family is insisting on me getting a new haircut. Sadly, I'm stubborn as a mule and fonded by my long hair aesthetic.

Dream trip: Literally visiting Japan, since I'm progressively learning the language.

Favorite foods: Boiled stuffed grape leaves (which I had today for lunch) as a meal and cheesecake as dessert.

Nationality: Born in Kuwait but lived my entire life in Canada.

Favourite songs: Nu'est - Hello (addictive), Plastic Love by Takeuchi Mariya (retro vibes), Love in top by Beyonce (my queen), September by Equinox Stars (Just Dance) and old anime songs stored on my Itunes.  

Top 3 fictional universes: Yu Yu Hakusho/ Hunter x Hunter, Naruto and Black Bulter. ( I listed the fandom that I read the most in Fanfiction)

@luckystarchild​

Thank you for tagging me. I had fun writing about myself and it was a great stress relief for my mental health. Also, a great practice to sort my thoughts.  

[inkshro0m]

Logan's Secret Emotion - A Platonic LAMP Oneshot

cba to get rid of the big gaps so.... sorry bout that😅

--------

Logan found it very hard to express his emotions. He kept them all to himself in his big brain, the one that's stuffed with knowledge and facts. Or that's what Virgil, Roman and Patton thought...

Patton felt as though Logan found him annoying. The nerd seemed to ignore him or he just had an annoyed expression etched out on his face. Patton always tried to make him feel loved and cared for, and only wanted to express his friendship! Maybe he shouldn't be so bubbly and friendly all the time...?

Roman felt as if he was too... him for Logan. Said man usually rolled his eyes whenever the prince-like man would sing his sentences out, enthusically commenting on the weather, or something like that. Honestly, Roman could be who he is. If who he is is a man who is so extra he could become chewing gum (extra?? the chewing gum???...yeh, that metaphor was wEiRd- hi, future kat here.... pls ignore this =_=) and is just... loud, then too bad for Logan, he wasn't changing.

Virgil felt like Logan just hated him. He was probably too edgy and too emo. The smart guy probably thought he was too anxious for his own well-being and needed to stop, and maybe he just found him too annoying because he was in his way. Then again, Virgil thought that everyone feels that way about him.

One Wednesday morning, Logan received a notification, which is quite rare for him. He usually only got notifications from the news or something.

He was currently solving questions in his favourite problem solving book, 'The Ultimate Trivial Pursuit', smothered in his favourite unicorn onesie, with a coffee sitting out in front of him, slowly cooling down. He rested the book on the table and picked up his phone, opening it up to display one of his best friend- Patton -'s name, along with some tumblr notifications which he just swiped away. He read the text with slightly intrigued eyes following the words displayed before him.

Hey Lo! Sorry to bother

you, but I was just wondering

whether you would like to

join me, Ro, and Virge at

Sanders' Cafe at 12pm?

You don't have to of course,

just wondering! xx

Hmm... did he want to go? Who was he kidding, of course he wanted to go! He loved his friends with all his heart! And yes, he had a heart.

Salutations, Patton. You are

not bothering me. I would

appreciate the oppertunity,

thank you.

What Logan didn't know was that that single message caused an excited squeal to errupt from his beloved friend's mouth upon seeing it.

Three beady eyes had been eagerly watching the three dots slowly bouncing up and down, anticipating for a response. They all felt as though they needed to hang out with Logan more, it felt like he was growing apart from them. Leaving the nest.

Logan had started to get ready as soon as he'd replied, leaving his favourite book and coffee to go cold. His friends were more valuable.

Quickly slipping into his black polo and blue jeans and messily tying his tie around his neck, he was stumbling around the room, way more excited to see his friends than an ordinary person would be. He picked up his comb and brushed his bird nest of hair... how it got this tangled, he didn't know the answer to (which is quite rare). Then, he cleaned his teeth for 2 minutes because body maintenance is important.

Meanwhile, the other three were slightly nervous (even though it is just their friend). What if he was bored or didn't actually want to be there. Roman was the least worried; he didn't really care about what Logan was thinking. Patton just wanted Logan to have a fun time, and Virgil was just his anxious self. What if he was just going because he felt he had to?

Logan was already rushing out of the door and almost tripped down the three steps at his porch... oops. That was just enough to remind him that there are probably people watching... so he just carried on being as fast as he could because why should he have to wait any longer? He tugged at the car door, only to remember that he left his car keys on his bedside table when the door refused to open... dammit!

Sprinting back into his two-story house and up the staircase, he snatched up his keys and went back out to lock the front door (which he'd stupidly forgotten to do the first time). He, more orderly than last time, got into the car and started it.

To check that there where no cars coming, he looked out the window to find a little boy sitting on his bike, wide-eyed. Oh... so there was someone watching...

The embarrassed man just gave him a small smile, just to assure the boy that he was fine. Logan was well known for his stoic manner and teacher-like personality in his neighbourhood, so this must have been pretty weird for the boy... oh well. He can't go back now (both of them can't).

The boy's eyes followed Logan as the car rolled down his driveway. This was awkward. Once the man was sure there were no cars coming to stop him from seeing his friends, Logan pulled out onto the road and sped off towards the cafe the 4 friends where supposed to meet at. Wait... what if they were pranking him? What if they weren't going to come at all? No. Patton wouldn't do that. Neither would Virgil. Roman? maybe, but not Patton nor Virgil.

With anxiety in his eyes, Logan stepped out of the vehicle once he'd parked it and walked, normal pace, into the cafe. His glasses-shielded eyes darted around the room, looking for 3 familiar heads... Bingo! Phew, they weren't pranking him. A tiny smile (you could hardly even see it) made it's may onto Logan's face, all anxiety washed away. He was going to see his 3 favourite people! Those people's heads turned his way when he made it to the table they were sitting at.

Patton's eyes widened upon seeing the necktie-wearing man, despite expecting him. "Hey Lo! I'm so happy you came!", he excitedly greeted, genuinely meaning what he said. The bubbly one hasn't seen the other in over 2 weeks, and that's a long time for him!

Still with a smile that was unnoticable, the formal one slipped into the booth beside Virgil and nodded, "Salutations, I appreciate being able to see you too". He looked around, secretly happy to be with these people again.

Virgil was on his phone, but he'd nodded at Logan because he doesn't want to be rude and be hated even more. Also, speaking wasn't his strong point.

Roman waved, "Greetings, pocket watch! How have you been doing? We haven't seen you in so long". There was slight sarcasm in his tone, obviously a little annoyed that Logan didn't spend more time with them but it wasn't really his fault, they'd need to invite him first. 'Pocket watch' ignored the nickname and the tone, he was used to this sort of thing from the flamboyant man. "Adequate, thank you. What about you? Have you all been doing well?", he looked around the table.

The usual answers came: A grunt from the emo, a "Great!" from the bubbly man, and a "Very well" from the actor.

Logan let his lips twitch upwards to show he cares at least a bit.

"Well, shall we order our drinks? Or are we going to just sit here in awkward silence?", Roman suggested, chuckling a bit after the end of that sentence.

Patton stood up, quite quickly may I add, "Oh yeah! I'll pay for it all; my treat!", he giggled. Everyone reluctantly agreed, knowing there was no point arguing as the dad figure would always win.

Three of them stood up, Virgil staying behind because he doesn't like doing things in groups, he'd go after they'd figured out what they wanted. The emo noticed that Logan's phone had fallen out of his pocket as he'd gotten up, so he picked it up and set it on the table for the teacher-like man to pick up once he comes back. The phone's screen lit up upon contact, revealing several notifications from tumblr. Huh... Logan has tumblr? 'Didn't expect that', Virgil thought. Maybe he'll follow him, his posts must be interesting - seeing as he's very intellectual and smart. He checked the username: '@logical-crofters'. 'Man... he's really obsessed with that jam, isn't he?', Virgil snorted. The darkly-dressed man opened up his own phone and quickly followed him, before the others called him over to choose what he wanted.

Slipping his phone into his pocket and leaving Logan's on the seat, he rushed over to the others to pick a hot chocolate. He'll read his posts later.

Once everything was ordered and everyone was sat down, Logan noticed his phone, causing a confused expression to make its way onto his face. Virgil noticed this, "It fell out your pocket", he simply stated. A nod came from Logan, letting him know he understood.

About 5 minutes later, everyones drinks got delivered to their table. Patton sighed, relaxed, as he smelled the lovely scent of his sweet hot chocolate, which had whipped cream and marshmallows mounted on top of it. Mmmmmm...

Roman happily sipped on his iced tea; it was so refreshing!

While Logan drank his black coffee, Virgil quietly tried to start up conversation, which was a rare sight to see. "So... Logan, I didn't know you had tumblr", this caused the addressed man to almost spit his mouthful of coffee all over Patton, but luckily he's not that careless.

He looked over to the man who'd spoken, "You saw that?". The anxiety that had gone away a while ago had come back, making him fear what the other thought.

"Yeah. When I picked up your phone, I saw the notifications. I haven't read any of your posts yet but I've followed you", he stated, letting him know the details.

Logan let out a squeak that sounded like an 'oh'. 'Please don't read them, please don't- What if he reads them? What if he shows the others? What will they think of me?!'

"Hey, is everything okay?" Patton layed his hand on the almost-panicking man's forearm, bringing him out of his over-working mind. Logan's eyes had been dialating, telling the others that something wrong was obviously going on.

Logan's eyes finally went still, focusing onto the man who was currently comforting him. "Yes, yes. I am fine. Just, Virgil-", he looked at the man he'd addressed, "please do not read my posts..."

Virgil wore a look of confusion. 'Why wouldn't he want me to see them?', he queried.

"Why?", Roman, who'd been quiet this whole time, spoke Virgil's thoughts.

What was he supposed to say? Logan didn't want to let them know why, or his secret would be out! "Just...", he sighed, causing the other three to raise their eyebrows, even Patton. The necktie-wearing man was bright pink, wondering whether he should let the others know what he'd been hiding.

Too late. Virgil was already getting his phone out and clicking on '@logical-crofters' on tumblr. The owner of that account hadn't noticed until a small gasp came from beside him, causing everyone else at the table to whip their heads towards the sound. 'Great', Logan gave up. Virgil knew... he'd definietly tell the others.

Virgil's thumb wouldn't stop scrolling. These posts... they were so sweet! Oh my goodness, Logan, you are so adorable!

Some of the posts read:

"My three best friends: Virgil, Roman and Patton, are the best people in the whole galaxy. I'll bet on it. Virgil is so considerate of other people and is an interesting person over all, he is also fascinated by space, as am I. Patton is, though I don't like to admit it, very funny and adorable... in a friend way. He cares about others so much and does his best to make everyone feel alright. Roman is very creative and a great guy to be around. He is so dramatic, but in a fun way. He tries to agrue with me, which is funny because we all know that I'll win, but he tries his best."

"Patton is so loving and it warms my heart :')"

"I had a long talk with Virgil today and I have found out that he is interested in space!"

"Roman was great at performing as 'Evan Hansen' from 'Dear Evan Hansen' today. The musical was so moving."

Patton and Roman had scrambled their way under the table between them and Virgil to look at his phone with wide eyes, excited to know what Logan was holding from them. Their beady eyes watched the emo's thumb slowly scroll through the posts, reading the compliments and sweet messages talking about them so passionately.

Meanwhile, Logan groaned and stuffed his face into his arms, not before taking his glasses off because... we wouldn't want smashed glasses now, would we?

About 3 minutes had gone by and Logan was contemplating whether he should just leave because this was just way too embarrassing. Suddenly, a pair of arms were thrown around him and squeal sounded, way too close to his ear. Ouch. "Oh my gosh, Logan! I didn't know you felt this way about us, I thought you didn't like us or something but this just proves me wrong!", what it sounded like to be Patton practically shouted into the embarrassed one's ear.

"So you did like the performance! I knew it!", Roman exclaimed. Logan could just see the dramatic pose that man was doing.

There was silence from the darkly-dressed man, which caused Logan to slowly lift his head up, put his glasses back on, and look around. His eyes landed on the silent one. Were... were those tears?

"I- no one's ever said anything like that about me. So... nice", he finally spoke, eyes watering from joy and happiness. He looked up at Logan, a smile creeping up onto his lips. "Thank you, Lo"

This definitely wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "Uh- I... I was just speaking my thoughts. You all mean a lot to me... I know it doesn't show but... it's true", Logan was so suprised he could hardly even speaking in an orderly manner!

All three beloved friends shared a look, one that Logan didn't understand. Oh no...

They all looked back at him..."No thank you. Please-" He was cut short because there were 3 pairs of arms squeezing the usually serious one so hard he was sure that his eyes would pop out, and that's pretty hard to do. "Guys, I can't... breathe...", Logan was pleading now.

They all let go after one more squeeze from Patton, allowing Logan to breathe once more. The dad giggled, "You're so amazing, Lo".

To this, Logan adjusted his glasses and regretfully said, "I believe the correct phrase for this is: 'no you'".

Virgil snorted and Roman burst out laughing. Patton just couldn't resist another hug and Logan was fully smiling. This was very unexpected, but he loved it. They all knew how much he loved them. No more awkward conversing. No more secret emotion...

--------

originally written on wattpad

[jbuffyangel]

Y'all are going to look really dumb when it's revealed that Maya is black siren's kid. Black Siren & Blackstar. Both have green eyes and blonde hair. & in the audition piece her character asked Dinah about Black Siren. Honestly this the marriage thing all over again. I'm going to laugh my ass off. You get what you deserve!

What marriage thing? When I said Olicity was going to getmarried and then they got married? Was that the thing? 

Because that’s whathappened.

I know it can be confusing since there were four proposals,one fake wedding and two real ceremonies. I definitely got what I deserved.No arguments there!

Maybe I’m thinking too specifically about this “marriedthing” because I agree there were some really funny moments on the way to thealtar:

Oliver proposing to Felicity in front of L*urel and sheapplauded.

Oliver leaving L*urel on their wedding day because herealized their fake relationship in the dream world was based off his realmemories from his relationship with Felicity – down to the damn wedding dress L*urelwas wearing. 

And then Oliver decided he’d rather live in a world where he had asnowball’s chance in hell of getting back together with Felicity rather thanstay in a dream world with L*urel living their white picket fence existence.

L*urel telling Oliver ON HER DEATH BED he was the love ofher life and he responded with silence. 

Of course, Oliver didn’t really have tosay anything. L*urel already wished for him to get back together with Felicity 

and acknowledged she knew she wasn’t the love of Oliver’s life.

Oliver telling Felicity, HIS WIFE, that no matter who shebecomes she will always be the love of his life.

That shit was hysterical.

You could be simply referring to general commitment too. Rememberthe time Oliver cheated on L*urel with her sister? 

Or when he cheated on L*urelAGAIN with Samantha (who was also her friend), got her pregnant and never told L*urel until Samanthashowed up in the damn bunker? 

Comedy at its best.

Or when Oliver ran for the hills every time L*urel mentionedany kind of cohabitation and/or long term future together? 

I laughed my ass offboth times he did it. 

The North China Sea and an island from hell were preferablethan a lifetime with L*urel L*nce. HILARIOUS.

Maybe the “wedding thing” isn’t the show at all. You couldbe referring to comments from the cast and crew in relation to Oliver’sromantic endgame like:

Stephen saying it didn’t matter if L*urel had lived. Oliverwould never be with her and it was always going to be Felicity on their show.

The showrunner confirming Bl*ck S*ren and Oliver would neverbe together romantically.

The showrunner saying Oliver would NEVER cheat on Felicity.

The showrunner discussing Emily and Stephen’s chemistry andhow it was lightning in a bottle, while acknowledging Stephen and KC’schemistry is a hot mess. (Friendly reminder you can’t fix chemistry issuesbetween actors no matter how many different versions of the character theyplay.)

ALL KNEE SLAPPERS!!!!! Completely agree Anon.

If you’re going to laugh your ass off about something itshould at least be what happened in the show. There’s plenty of stuff I gotwrong.

I’ll help you out. Let’s see… I said Tommy was Prometheus. That was a goodone. 

I also said there was absolutely no way Arrow would marry Oliver to theonly lesbian on the show. Boy did I miss the mark that time. 

Or how about whenI said that L*urel L*nce was going to die. 

Oh wait. Nope. That happened. 

Then I said the writers would never bring our L*urel back to lifeagain. 

Shit. That happened too. Well, I gotta get a few of them right once andawhile.

But why talk about the past? This is about the future as you say Anon and of course you’re right. Mia is clearlyBl*ck S*ren’s daughter. BECAUSE GREEN EYES AND BLONDE HAIR. 

Of course Hollywood’snumber one concern when casting a role is matching hair and eye color rather than finding the right actor for the role. Just ask Dakota Fanning.She played everyone’s kid. I’m sure she couldn’t even get in the door beforedocumenting her eye and hair color.

She probably needed a DNA sample too because we know the actors areactually producing real children to play their fictional children and thenmagically aging them 20 years. Someone should tell Kat McNamara that Katie isreally her mom. What a hell of an episode that’ll make. SO META.

It’s so sad we have yet to invent hair dye or coloredcontacts if this kind of detail is really important to a director. DAMN YOUSCIENCE.

I mean of course Felicity can’t be the mother because she’sa bottle blonde. Whereas Bl*ck S*ren, who you love to remind us is anexact replica of E1 L*urel L*nce, is clearly a natural blonde. Just like ourL*urel was. 

Oh. Nevermind.

It’s a real mystery where that blonde hair comes from withMia because everybody knows children are sprouted from the heads of motherslike Zeus and Athena. Women are asexual after all. The mother’s DNA is the onlything that matters in the creation of the baby.

You know what’s weird? I have brownhair and brown eyes. So how did my daughter get the most beautiful blonde hairand blue eyes the world has ever seen? OH MY GOD!!! IS SHE NOT MY BABY? AM ILIVING SWITCHED AT BIRTH? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *picks up phone to call police*

Hang on. 

I’m trying to remember my sex education. I assureyou it’s been awhile. I feel like at some point someone told me the father alsoplays a fairly significant role in the creation of a human being. Somethingabout sperm. 

My husband has blonde hair and blue eyes. So maybe it’s possiblethe man I’ve been sleeping with for 13 years impregnated me with thischild (if we’re to believe the junk science of sex education) and passed on hisblonde hair and blue eyes to her. THE MIND REELS. *putting down the phone*

So if Mia wasn’t sprouted from the head of her mother andArrow has embraced the insanity of actual science, I guess it’s possible that Miagot her blonde hair from OLIVER. 

Wow. 

But what about those eyes? It’s IMPOSSIBLE for two blue eyedpeople like Oliver and Felicity to produce a green eyed baby. Although, Iseem to remember my 10th grade science teacher saying somethingabout two blue eyes making green in our genetics unit. I also did a 5 secondGoogle search and some guys from the Stanford Genetic labs also confirm it’spossible, but there’s no way they know more than you Anon. I definitely think your dunk-a-person-in-water-and-if-they-don’t-drown-it-means-they-aren’t-a-witch kind of science makes a hell of a lot more sense than Stanford geneticists. If there’sone thing history taught us it’s to follow the science of 1600s Salem,Massachusetts.

But maybe I misunderstood again. Your word gymnastics is sotricky and smart. It’s hard to keep up! 

Maybe you just meant Bl*ck S*ren getspregnant by Mr. Rando. I’m sure we’ll see her love story develop any day now,since she has to get pregnant really soon for Mia’s age to make a damn bit ofsense. Certainly Bl*ck S*ren’s relationship with Mr. Rando will take precedenceover Oliver and Felicity’s love story. It’s not like the show is centered onOlicity, so I’ll be on the lookout for this impending great romance.

Genetics aside, you also alerted me to the iron clad proofof the audition scene!!! What would I do without you anon? I haven’t seen Mia’saudition scene, but if she mentions Bl*ck S*ren then of course it means she’sher daughter. DUH. Everything from the audition scenes ends up in the show. Question – was her name Maya in the audition? 

I did see the audition tapes for nearly every actress whoauditioned for “Tina” aka Dinah Drake. Those leaked everywhere. I bet theshowrunners were pretty ticked. I’m still waiting for the writers to introduceCarlos or dive into Dinah’s service with the Marine Corps. It’s almost like theyput things in the audition scene that don’t end up on the show to throw peopleoff. Ya know, in case the scene leaks.

I remember when people thought there was a chemistry testbetween Stephen (Oliver) and the actress playing Tina (Dinah) in her audition.Everyone freaked out. Olicity was over! Oliver Queen was going to end up withthe new Bl*ck C*nary, which of course is exactly what happened in the show.

Damn it! I’m wrong again!

I really need to rewatch seasons.

Funny enough the snip it of dialogue from the audition scene for Tina did end up in an episode of Arrow. But the scene was betweenDinah and Diggle. 

So weird. It’s almost like they screen tested chemistry withanother actor. But God knows that wouldn’t happen because obviously Oliver isending up with some kind of C*nary.

I know what I’m about to say is insanity, but maybe Bl*ckS*ren was mentioned in the audition scene as a diversion. It could actually beproof Mia’s character has nothing to do with Bl*ck S*ren at all. I’ll be sureto ask the writers once Carlos shows up. It’ll be any day now.

And last, but certainly not least, Bl*ck Siren and Blackstar both have the name BLACK. Does this also mean she’s Dinah and Zoe’s baby? Because they have black in their code names too . Oooh maybe Dinah and Bl*ck Siren get married!!! I do love a good wedding theory. If William ever gets a code name he better make sure it has GREEN in it so people know who the hell he is. That’s the point of a code name right? Damn. Bl*ck S*ren is CIA level. She’s so sneaky. I’m sooo impressed.

Thanks for reaching out and showing me the light Anon. Truly, I am grateful. I can’t wait to see how this response ages on Monday. 

[crazycrackersworld]

"Why am I doing this?" She asked herself out loud, wisps of steam escaping her mouth in the cold air. She continued to walk through the damp grass, dead leaves clinging to her boots. And then......"Because I HAVE to see it, ahem, him, I have to see him."

As she walked, she remembered getting the news a few weeks ago, and how shocked she had been. It was just a normal day, she had been running some errands and ran into an old acquaintance. Polite smalltalk followed for a few minutes, and the..."I was surprised when I didn't see you at the funeral."

"What?.... Who's funeral, when?" She asked a look of confusion on her face.

"HIS funeral..." The aquaintence said, reaching out and gently touching her hand. "Sh.." She pulled her hand away sharply...."NO!" She said, a little to loudly. "No, you can't mean.....you mean?" She said shaking her head. She said a polite goodbye and walked out of the store, in a bit of a daze. She drove home and sat in silence, absently petting the puppy she hadn't yet named.

After several deep breaths she went online and looked. Her heart dropped when she confirmed it, she wasn't expecting that reaction. She read the obituary several times, a few tears welling up as she did. Hadn't thought of him in months, hadn't spoken in years, so why was the shock and pain so REAL.

Nothing unusual, no terrible accident, nothing self inflicted, no lingering sickness, he had simply died. "Seven months ago and I'm just finding out now? What in the fuck!?" She said out loud, startling the puppy. She read the obit again, read about the funeral, where he was buried. She shook her head.

Now as she walked through the cemetery on a cold fall day in a light drizzle she could feel the aches and the burning in her muscles and in her joints. The pain had come like it often did, with the rain the night before. She almost didn't get out of bed because of it, but she had planned this and she knew she had to do it. Pulling her black wool coat tighter around her she could hear his voice scolding her for be out in this weather as if he was walking with her....and she managed a smile.

"Just at the top of the hill, that's what Kat said it was." She said out loud, remembering that phone call a few days after finding out. She had spent days online and calling people and finally had a number....Her number. Then she spent a day staring at it, working up the strength to call. Her heart beat heavy as it rang and then the answer...."Hello?"

"K....K......Kat it......it's me." clears throat..."It's Sue, I am calling about h, I am so sorry. I just found out." The next few seconds of silence seemed an eternity, then the other voice responded. Although they had been strained in the past it didn't take long for them to begin speaking cordially, eventually sharing memories of him and each other's current lives as well.

"I am a little confused though....a grave, he always talked cremation." She said.

Kat replied..."A pain in the ass even at the end. He had his hands cut off before the cremation, and had them arranged to be......*sigh* flipping off the world. And that's what he had us burry. No I am not kidding."

"Of course he did." Sue said with a chuckle, "Of course he did."

Kat said " He wanted somewhere people could go to talk to him or whatever, someplace quiet."

They had finished their conversation and she had gotten the info she needed, and now......She was there.

Under the purple and white knit hat he always referred to as her 'Raspberry Berret' her red hair with some grey hung down to her shoulders. It had taken her three days to find the damn hat, she hadn't worn or seen it in years. But he had loved it on her.

So now she stood at the top of the hill, rain gently falling, wind blowing, sky a light grey. And there it.....there He was. A plain black headstone, some old flowers and a lot of wet leaves. "Hello Sean Michael" she said.

After all the years they had known each other since childhood. After her reaching out to him for some reason over 2 decades ago. The time they were together, and how he had been different, so different from anyone else she had ever been with. And then it fell apart, but he kept trying, he kept trying for so long.

"Why?" She asked, "Why did you try? Why did you care?"

She remembered how he tried and fought for years after she ended it and she shook her head. He kept trying, but then she would cut him out, or he would turn his back. They would eventually talk again and he try and he would fight...in vain.

And then one day that back turn.....well it stuck. And time, kept moving on as it does. And every once in awhile she would think of him, and every once in awhile she would here about him. And now, here on this hill she knew so much more. He had accomplished things and he had grown and he had bettered himself.....and he had done it all.......alone. No one to share these things with, no one to share his days with.......no one at all. She had found out that the man she knew to be afraid of almost nothing, had simply been to scared to try again with someone else. And so he had walked alone. And now......well now he was gone.

So many thoughts, so many memories, so many feelings washed through her at that moment. But one stood out amongst them all........"He never stopped l......he never stopped lo.......*sigh*"

And she knew this truth as she looked at the simple headstone which had his name date of birth, and date of death. Other than that there were only 4nwords on the headstone........Now It's Too Late

She stared at that, she doesn't remember for how long.

[colbaestories]

Colby Brock: Your scent💙

Warnings: none except I really like to cuss xD

To anybody who doesn't know: Y/N- your name

Once again you're in your hometown, billions of miles away from your friends and your crush. So you sit there in this cold-ass living room, wrapped up in three layers of blankets, zapping through the channels of your TV and sighing melancholy every once in a while. By each minute that passes by your boredom gets worse and your sighs louder. Your parents aren't even at home to see your suffering self because they are both gone hiking. You wanted to tag along with them but they went with some friends and told you to sleep in, after all it has been a long time since you really had some relaxation just by yourself. That might be true but you still barely can handle this situation right now. You remember the promise you gave your parents months ago,"I promise you, I'll be at home with you guys for at least three weeks in the summer break!You can even plan what we are going to do! "... Great job there Y/N... It's not like you don't love your parents or dislike hanging out with them it's just if you had known that they would just be gone the whole time and you would sit around with nothing to do, you would have known better. Like for example maybe make a list of what y'all could do together and not letting them plan. Anyways you love your parents dearly but you also miss your friends. You miss Corey's dance moves, Devyn's make-up tips, Sam's challenges, Kat's hugs, Aaron's singing, Elton's traveling ideas, Amanda's laughter, Brennen's nicknames for you and who you miss the most is the wonderful Colby Brock. While your thumb is still zapping through the thousands of channels your mind drifts off, "What might they all be up to right now? I kinda wonder what Colby is doing... should I text him? What if he's working right now and I'm just bothering him? I might be thinking too much.." You shake your head to get all of this thoughts outta your head. Suddenly your phone starts vibrating. With a lazy groan you roll over to unlock this noise-maker. As soon as you see who texted you, you jump off the couch with pure excitement:It's Colby! After you've finished your happy dance and totally failing at the attempt to play the air-guitar, you open the chat.

Colby: "How's it going pretty lady? 😉"

"WINKY FACE! WINKY FUCKING FACE OH MY FUCKING GOD!HE CALLED ME PRETTY AND LADY WE ARE PRACTICALLY MARRIED", you scream and jump around the house. Of course you want to keep your cool in front of him so you try to think of a laid back answer. But it still took you 47 tries to simply type,

"Pretty good, boredom tortures me a little tho. What about yourself handsome? 😏"

You bounce around and kinda regret calling him "handsome" even though he certainly is one hella attractive man but it sounds kind of cringey when you think of it. But because of your excitement you just shrug and don't give a single fuck. Not even a minute after you've hit send Colby texts.

Colby:"handsome huh?😏Are you trying to make me blush? Well your plan works I'm a tomato🍅 Anyways Brennen's keeping me company in my room right now and I'm laying in bed watching him taking selfies... Quite interesting I must say"

You giggle to yourself imagining those two and before you could type your answer you see a message from the contact "Hot stuff🍑" pop up. It's Brennen asking if you have time for a quick chat on FaceTime. You slightly fix your hair and call him. Brennen greets you with a wide smile and a loud, "What's good what's popping what's Guccii baby? " As far you've noticed, Brennen's in the kitchen of the squads house at the moment holding a sandwich in his right hand. You laugh and ask, "Hey Brennen everything's just fine here. Why did you wanna call me it sounded like you wanna tell me something really important?" The young YouTuber chuckles and says, "Well it's not necessarily an emergency but surely important. So yeah let's begin: I'm at the squads house and I think you've noticed that by now and some minutes ago I was like chillin with my bae Colby and taking some dope-ass selfies and he was texting you of course. He had like this big-ass grin on his face and I decided to go through my Instagram. After a short while I noticed him pulling out a piece of clothing that was underneath his pillow. And I thought 'what's he doin with that shirt?' so I continued watching him sneakily. Colby then decides to start sniffing the shirt and boy I was so confused. I thought this was a hella new level to self love but then it got me like a lightning strike. The shirt was the shirt you wore on your last day here before you left when we were camping in the garden with the others. Man this boy misses you like crazy! Oh and he has also been talking bout you all the time since you've been gone! "

You can't believe what Brennen just told you. The smile on your face can't be stopped and all you want to do right now is dance around and hug everybody on this damn planet. Your friend notices your joy and says, "Aww look at your cute smile! Besides I didn't want him to interrupt me telling our angel this cute but weird story so I told him I gotta grab a sandwich.",he took a big bite out of the sandwich and keeps on talking, "But now I have to show you this kid in love~" So Brennen walks up the stairs, slams the door of Colby's room wide open and sings/yells, "COLBYYYY LOOK WHO'S ON THE PHONE WITH MEEEE" He switches cameras so you could see Colby laying on his bed cuddling with a black shirt. This boy is so confused and just looks up to Brennen and says, "Bro what the fuck? Who are you on the phone with?" You hear laughter behind the camera and Brennen's voice saying, " It's our beloved Y/N wanna explain to her why you are cuddling with the t-shirt she wore just some weeks ago?" Colby's eyes widen drastically and his shocked mimic makes you burst out in laughter. As soon as he heard you laugh the embarrassed YouTuber starts to laugh himself and blushes heavily. Looking at his beautiful smile and hearing his laughter makes you think to yourself, "I can't wait to soon hold him close again"💙

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

So Katholine should be friends even though Kat killed Caroline and left her alone and confused and ready to be sacrificed for her own master plan, but Hayley simply knocks Caroline out for a little while and their friendship would be horrible? Not hate, I'm just wondering what the difference is...

Okay, you mistake my interest in the Katholine friendship. You also misunderstood why I don’t want a Hayroline friendship.

Katherine and Caroline’s friendship has never seemed black and white to me, both Katherine and Caroline have said that Caroline was better off as a vampire and that in a weird way Katherine helped her.

Noone’s saying the act was right but it was very impersonal on Katherine’s part, Caroline was collateral damage in order to send a message to the Salvatore’s and make a point.

Caroline likes to think she’s very morally centered so she always maintained a casual contempt for Katherine but I don’ think she ever full on hated her. The truth is that she and Katherine are very alike. Caroline is the most pragmatic of all her friends, eerily so. When it comes down to something she deems important (usually protecting one of her friends) Caroline has very little scruples. Which is why they make such h a good team when they eventually do partner up.

As for Katherine, I think it’s Caroline’s pragmatism and the fact that she has moxie

and is survivor like her 

and the fact that she managed to outsmart her

that convinced me that Katherine low key liked and respected Caroline. A lot more than most of her friends.

And I think Caroline low key liked her too but would never admit it.

They both have a mean girl side to them although Caroline’s is less overt, they’d both be very honest with each other (scathingly so) and trade thinly veiled insults if they were friends under different circumstances and it would be glorious.

I mean look they’re the perfect partners in crime.

I don’t think that Katholine should be friends because Katherine is the nicer person or because Katherine was nicer to Caroline than Hayley (although, murdering her aside she actually was, considering Hayley was mostly dismissive to Caroline - “I don’t do teen drama”

 - and snapped her neck 

before betraying her boyfriend) 

I like Katholine because it actually made sense, the two ladies have similar personalities and things in common. 

Hayroline, however, makes no sense because it was clear from the start the Caroline never liked Hayley (because even though the whole Tayley relationship/affair thing was fake Caroline still suspected Hayley had a thing for Tyler - and was right) Plus after Hayley snitched to Klaus and got the hybrids and Tyler’s mom killed there’s no way Caroline didn’t find out about it. I mean Hayley half confessed to Tyler before telling him to run.

Besides if Damon knew about what Hayley did.

Then Caroline defo did.

Now I know what you’re thinking, a) it’s been years Hayley and Caroline both have kids now, bygones whatever and b) if Caroline can be chill with Klaus who actually killed Carol then surely she can forgive Hayley for her part in it. Fair point, sure. But my argument is, Hayley and Caroline never really liked each other in the first place. They don’t really have anything in common except magical pregnancy (and Klaus’s penis).

Genuinely, I mostly object to the Hayroline friendship because I don’t like Hayley. I’ll admit it. I’d be cool with Caroline and Camille being friends over her and Hayley (I may not have liked Camille as a concept, or Kl*mille but I didn’t dislike Camille if that makes any sense).

Besides Hayley really has no actual personality, they (the writers)can make her BFF's with whoever (Camile, Freya, Davina etc…) at will just because she’s whoever the writers want her to be in that moment and that’s what I object to. I’m not saying their friendship would be horrible I’m saying I wouldn’t personally enjoy it.

(None of these gifs are mine)

[thelioncourts]

okay, real talk. can you give me a rundown on your makeup/skincare? I'm talking everyday stuff, event stuff, face masks, washes, all that. I know it's a lot, but every time you post a selfie it's flawless and I need answers

first of all: the “flawless” you see is snapchat

second of all: absolutely, 100% yes ✨

to start this off, I’m totally going to pimp Ipsy. I’ve been getting Ipsy bags now for 7 months and it’s actually the best thing I’ve ever done. it’s $10 a month and they ship full-sized and sample-sized makeup to your house. you get 5 products + a new mini makeup bag. it’s seriously been amazing for discovering new products I may have otherwise never heard of or simply overlooked. once you get your products you can rate everything on your Ipsy profile by color, brand, how much you liked it overall, etc. [x]

now, onto makeup~~~~

I wash my face twice a day, once in the morning, once at night, with H2O+ Elements face wash for normal to oily skin. you can check that out here: [x]. if I wore makeup that day, I remove it with their ‘wipe the day away’ face cloths, which are here [x] before washing it again. 

my daily moisturizer is homemade. it’s 8 oz. of vitamin e skin care cream, 8 oz. of coconut oil, and 16 oz. of johnson’s baby lotion. I only put a little bit on (I’m oily and acne prone) but it’s a lifesaver for just about anything and everything.

at night, after washing my face, I put on tata harper’s clarifying spot solution [x] and first aid beauty’s 5 in 1 eye cream for dark circles [x]

makeup is: 

smashbox’s photo finish primer [x]

maybelline ‘fit me’ matte and poreless [x]

maybelline’s instant age rewind concealer [x]

clinique’s chubby stick contour [x]

nyx whipped foutte for blush [x]

urban decay highlighter in ‘afterglow’ [x]

kat von d lock-it setting powder [x]

morphe eye shadow palettes [x]

em cosmetic’s illustrative liner [x]

urban decay’s “perversion” mascara [x]

city color’s bold brow [x]

elizabeth arden’s grand entrance mascara [x]

kat von d liquid lipsticks [x]

beauty creations cosmetic’s liquid lipsticks [x]

rosebud perfume company’s rosebud salve [x]

for palettes and lipstick shades, I have morphe 35r and 35w. my kat von d shades are: woolf, outlaw, noble, bow n arrow, ayesha, and ophelia. my beauty creations cosmetic’s shades are: angel kiss, bae, and sleepover.

for application, I use two different beauty blenders for my foundation and concealer. from there I use a variety of brushes for everything, pretty standard stuff.

regarding face masks, etc. I try to use a sheet mask once a week, whether it be sephora brand [x], biorepublic [x], or tonymoly [x]. I use skinfood strawberry and black sugar food therapy as an exfoliator [x], and, about once every two weeks, I use dr. davey’s black mask to get rid of black heads [x].

lastly, I carry around dinoplatz dear brachiosaurus oil blotting sheetsx] they’re very cute

I obviously don’t wear all of that every day. my usual is primer, concealer, blush, powder, eyebrows, mascara, and the salve :)