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book-of-baba-fett · 3 years

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Illicit Affairs - Chapter 5

2 months after being rescued from the island, the 501st has leave on Coruscant when a mission takes them undercover in a familiar setting. Misunderstandings and timing drove Rex and Talia apart, each doubting what had happened with the other, but now they're forced to see each other again.

Captain Rex x Ofc

Chapter Rating: E for Explicit (18+)

Warnings: Alcohol, drinking to repress feelings, canon-typical violence, Angst (lots of self doubt and yearning in this one folks), creep at a bar, fingering, PiV, cumming on someone (not sure what the best wording is but yeah)

A/n: Sorry, this is a really long one y'all, but it didn't make sense to split up (I didn't want y'all to wait for more of the smut). The next chapter will probably be very short for spacing. See if you can count all the unnamed cameos in this chapter. As always, reblogs/comments/anon asks are so appreciated! And my ever-growing gratitude to @galacticgraffiti for being my beta-reader!

Ao3 Link:

Updated: 2/12/2024

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

Mando'a:

Haar'chak: Dammit

Vod: brother

Rangir: To Hell With It

Coruscant – 20 BBY

“Thank you for gathering at such short notice, men.” General Kenobi said, gesturing to the group of clones filling the small briefing room of the Republic base on Coruscant. Rex had been in the mess with Jesse, Fives, and Kix when Cody commed him telling him to pick three men for a special assignment, and their proximity to the Captain made them an easy choice. Cody hadn’t given any details yet, but he was confident they could handle anything thrown at them, and ever since the mission the ended with them crash landing on the island Rex was sure to always have a medic around.

The island…

Rex took a large gulp of his caf as he steered his thoughts back to the briefing. That was almost two months ago, and he hadn’t seen Talia since then. He couldn’t dwell on it anymore. Rex felt Ahsoka’s gaze on him and cursed at himself as he focused on what Kenobi was saying; Ahsoka had admitted to him once that she wasn’t skilled enough with the Force to truly sense a person’s thoughts but sometimes the young Togruta’s probing gaze felt like she knew everything that was passing in and out of his head. It was really just familiarity and came in handy in combat, but when Rex was more distracted the last thing he would want was Ahsoka or Anakin knowing what was distracting him.

Rex, Fives, Jesse, Kix, and Cody stood around a round holotable, fully armored apart from helmets at their hips. Obi-Wan and Anakin stood across the table from them , with Ahsoka in the middle.

“We intercepted some comm chatter this morning, “ Anakin started, his arms crossed over his chest. “A decent group of bounty hunters have collected on the planet, all after the same target with a high bounty. We picked it up too late to identify their target, but we know where they’ll be staking out tonight. This is where you boys come in; normally this is something the Jedi could handle on our own, but with the location we could benefit from your help.”

Anakn clicked a side of the holotable and a display of buildings formed; even in the blue light the landscape was familiar to the men looking at it.

“79’s?” Fives asked as his brow creased, “What target would be heading to a clone bar?”

“Sadly, the chatter we picked up was incomplete; we don’t know who they’re looking for,” Obi-Wan explained, rubbing his chin. “All we know is, according to our info, the target will be at 79’s tonight; we don’t know what species, age, gender they are or who’s put the bounty on them. Just that they’re wanted alive.”

“I know this isn’t the way you boys wanted to go out tonight,” Cody said, facing his four brothers. “But if the Jedi go alone, that would be too obvious. Them tagging along with us, gives an extra few eyes to figure out what’s going on.”

“Normally we wouldn’t be so involved with the underworld,” Obi-Wan continued, “but some of the hunters responding to this hit are dangerous and wanted by the Republic; Cad Bane is one of the hunters expected to show up and this could be an opportunity to bring him in.”

“With that hat, he shouldn’t be too difficult to spot,” Ahsoka mumbled out the corner of her lips to a smirking Anakin.

“Anakin and I will join you men in the bar, while Ahsoka keeps a lookout outside,” Obi-Wan said, ignoring the annoyed huff next to him. “Don’t spread this information outside of this group; the purpose is to blend in and catch the hunters and figure out who they’re after that they would be so bold on the upper levels of Coruscant.”

“Understood, Sir,” Rex nodded, gesturing to the men beside him. “We’ll take down those bounty hunters before they can cause too much trouble.” Obi-Wan nodded at the clones in front of him before leaving the room, Cody nodded at Rex and quickly followed his General out.

Anakin strutted out, Ahsoka close at his side, as he clamped Rex on the shoulder and said, “Sorry to take away your night off, boys.”

“I have a feeling it will still be an interesting night,” Fives replied, shrugging his shoulders as the group exited the briefing room. “Just curious about who the target is they’re after; 79’s isn’t known for its diverse clientele.”

“Couldn’t be a clone, could it?” Kix asked, his brows furrowed in thought.

“I don’t think anything is out of the question at this point,” Rex grumbled as they strode down the durasteel hallways of the base. “We’ll have to keep our wits about us and our heads clear. No distractions tonight.” With the last part he glanced over his shoulder at Jesse and Fives behind him, both of whom rolled their eyes.

“At least you guys will be occupied; I just get to stand watch outside all night,” Ahsoka mumbled bitterly. Fives let out a chuckle as he elbowed the Jedi next to him.

“Don’t worry, kid, we’ll sneak you in another time,” Fives teased, earning a glare from Anakin, Rex, and Kix. Jesse huffed a laugh, only to be cut off with a slap in his armor from Kix. Fives quickly held his hands up in resignation, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding; I’m not trying to help her into the bar!"

Rex sighed and shook his head, continuing to walk to his quarters to prepare for the mission when he heard Fives whisper, “Seriously, we’ll figure it out another time."

They arrived early in the night but 79’s was already lively; the bass was pumping with bodies filling the dance floor, loud voices shouting, and the air thick with a haze of strobe lights. As expected, the majority of the crowd was filled with clones but there were few other races of sentients gathering in the two-level club for a night out. Cody and Obi-Wan had gotten there first, sequestering a large booth for the men to sit at; they were situated in a corner of the club where they could easily survey the crowd for anything out of the ordinary. They crowded in, Rex sitting at the edge, his eyes narrowing at a large open bottle in the center.

“It’s just water in a vodka bottle,” Cody explained, reading Rex’s gaze as he slid into the booth. “Figured it would look too odd if we just sat around here with nothing all night.”

“Good call,” Rex smirked at his brother, pouring a ‘shot’ and downing it. They leaned back, taking in the packed dance floor and lines of patrons around the bar; what had seemed like a straightforward mission turned out to be more complicated in practice. Even though 79’s was filled with mostly clones, there were more natborns than normal tonight; something that usually boded ill in the clone establishment, in Rex’s experience. Women were usually fine since they were just looking for a fun night out and hoping to meet some clones, and while there were natborn men who came in for similar reasons without causing problems, the straight ones usually just made the women uncomfortable and tried picking fights with the clones.

Rex’s eyes narrowed as he surveyed the crowd, trying to recognize the faces of any potential bounty hunters that he had studied before leaving base. Cody and Obi-Wan left the booth briefly after to patrol the bar, trying to get a better glance around as the crowd filled in. Anakin sat at ease, striking a conversation with Jesse and Kix that Rex couldn’t hear over the noise in the club. Fives sat on Rex’s left, lounging back in the booth as he swirled the water in his glass, brows furrowed as he scanned the bar. Rex leaned back, preparing for a long night of waiting when something caught his eye that made him wish the drink in his hand was stronger.

She walked in wearing an emerald, satin slip dress that hit midway on her thighs, sporting gold heels that showed off her legs; the dress itself wasn’t scandalous but it draped along her curves in a way that caught Rex’s breath. Her blonde hair draped in loose curls just below her shoulders, her lips were painted red and curved in a smile as she spoke with a brown-skinned girl with auburn, braided locks wearing striped high-waisted pants and a halter top. Her other companion was a Chalactan girl with shiny, raven hair flowing down her back, wearing a cream dress. She stood in between her friends, who Rex didn’t recognize as Jedi. Her head turned away from her friend, a smile still lighting her face until her eyes widened as they locked with Rex’s.

Talia.

Rex knew he should have averted his gaze, but he couldn’t break it, it felt like he was locked in place. He leaned onto the table with his elbow, his hand rubbing along his chin, goosebumps forming on his skin as his thumb dragged over the raised skin of the scar, remembering the ghost of her lips along it. Next to him Fives caught Rex’s tenseness and raised his brows at his brother, then followed his eyeline and let out a low whistle.

“She cleans up well, doesn’t she?” Fives smirked at Rex who stayed tense next to him, his jaw clenched now in irritation. Rex caught Anakin’s eyes as he finally tore his sight from Talia, only to see the male Jedi wearing an amused expression as he cocked a brow at Rex. Rex forced a cough and straightened himself out. Fives was still fixing him with a shit-eating smirk and Rex cut him off before he could make another stupid remark.

“I didn’t realize General Riva was on this assignment too?” Rex directed at Anakin, trying to mask the curiosity in his voice.

Anakin frowned, his eyes narrowing in the direction Talia stood, “She’s not, at least she’s not supposed to be.” Before Rex could follow up with another question, out of the corner of his eyes he caught Talia’s friend with the auburn hair elbow Talia and tilt her head in the direction of the booth. Talia exhaled, ran her fingers through her hair and nodded at the friend before stepping in the direction of the booth.

“Hi there,” Talia called out as she approached, a half a smile on her lips as she fidgeted with the strap of the gold purse worn in a long strap over her shoulder. Fives, Jesse, and Kix shot her big smiles as they greeted her; Anakin merely nodded, still sporting his narrowed gaze but his face less tense. Rex didn’t react, not that it would have mattered because Talia’s pointed gaze seemed to be avoiding him. She tilted her head at the now half empty ‘vodka’ bottle in front of them, “I see you boys are already having fun.”

“Come on in, we have more room!” Jesse waved at her, earning a step on the foot from Kix. Talia raised a brow at him when he grunted but chose to ignore it when the auburn-haired friend cleared her throat.

“Sorry, where are my manners; this is my friend Zahara, she’s an aide in the Chancellor’s office,” Talia said, gesturing to the girl with brown skin and auburn hair who shot the men with a dazzling smile. Talia then waved her hand to the Chalactan, “ And you might know her already, but this is Agastya, she’s a nurse and she sometimes picks up shifts at the base.”

Agastya lifted a hand in a small wave; Rex couldn’t help but notice the way Kix’s cheeks flushed as he smiled at the nurse. Smirking to himself, he allowed himself a glance back to Talia’s face as she listened to her friends chatting with the table. Her hair wasn’t the only change in her appearance; barely noticeable in the dim light of the bar was a light, thin scar starting from the inner corner of her eye diagonally across her nose. She wore winged eyeliner around her eyes; Rex wondered if she did it to distract from the new scar. Talia’s gaze darted to Rex briefly, just to lower them in a hurry once she locked eyes with him.

“Well, we won’t take up more of your time,” she abruptly said, tugging at Zahara’s arm as she protested. Agastya shot Talia a curious glance then furrowed her brows in Rex’s direction, but she didn’t say anything. Talia saluted the men with two fingers to say goodbye, then turned and Rex could hear her say, “I need a damn drink.”

If she had hoped for a quick route to the bar, her hopes were in vain as Cody and Obi-Wan were in her path, the latter of whom stopped her to chat. Talia fidgeted with her dress but kept a smile on her face as she introduced her friends to the Jedi and the Commander. Obi-Wan patted her on the shoulder and turned to return to the table; Talia bolted to the bar with her friends in tow, both casting very confused glances as she ordered a round of shots, just for Talia to down hers instantly and order another drink.

Cody and Obi-Wan strolled back to the table, sliding to the booth. “Did you all see Talia? Charming girl,” Obi-Wan said as he poured himself a glass of water.

“Yeah, I didn’t know she was tagging along on this,” Anakin said bluntly. Rex suddenly remembered the annoyance Anakin had shown that night so long ago on Naboo when Talia had shown up unexpectedly, Anakin must still have a sore spot with the council over that.

“She’s not,” Obi-Wan said, shaking his head with a small frown. “Seems to be just enjoying a night out.”

“I thought the 412th was stationed near Sullust?” Rex asked Cody, keeping his tone level as he probed for information.

“They are, well what’s left of them is anyway,” Cody stated grimly. All the men at the table silenced, a particularly tired look growing on Obi-Wan’s face; an expression that formed frequently when anything related to the renegade Sith Maul. Talia and the 412th had been on a relief mission when Maul and his brother, Savage Opress, attacked. Some of her men had evacuated villagers to the Republic Cruiser, but anyone who couldn’t make it to the dropships in time was massacred. Talia had been able to hold them off temporarily, but her skills were no match for the former Sith Lord; by the time Obi-Wan and the 212th got there to aid them, Maul had been gone, and Talia was lucky to be alive. Rex realized the scar she bore must have been from the battle.

“The council felt like Talia needed a break from command after her losses, she seemed to be taking a lot of them personally,” Obi-Wan said, a pit forming in Rex’s stomach as she remembered Talia and his conversation on the beach. “She went on a few undercover missions, but she still seemed distracted, so they’ve had her stationed here on Coruscant for a few weeks now.”

“She deserves a break,” Anakin said grimly.

“You’re right, she does,” Obi-Wan nodded sagely. His brows furrowed in thought before he continued, “Her friend…she said she was an aide in the Chancellor’s office?”

“She did…wait, you don’t think-“ Anakain started, his brows furrowing.

“That she could be the target? Possibly,” Obi-Wan said, looking at Talia’s group at the bar; Talia was already ordering another drink. “They could be looking for information, or a way to get into the office; it wouldn’t be the first time in this war the Separatist hire bounty hunters, and a group of them have already found their way into the Senate once.”

A few rounds of fake vodka later, the group split up around the bar; Anakin thought he recognized a Zabrak bounty hunter sitting near the bar, so he sent Jesse closer to scope her out while Anakin paced the upper level of the bar. Troops from the 212th kept coming up to Cody and he couldn’t purposefully ignore his men, so he left to stand at a high rise table with them, his eyes darting around the bar frequently. Obi-Wan was off, saying he was just keeping a look out but Rex had a feeling he was off in a corner of the bar ordering something besides water. Kix, Fives, and Rex were the ones holding down the booth; Rex leaned back, one of his hands resting on the back of the cushions as he surveyed the crowd again, only for his gaze to linger on Talia once more. Her and her friends had camped out at the bar, ordering more shots as the night went on. Talia tilted her head back, laughing at something Zahara said, and Rex felt a pang in his chest when he remembered what had happened to her at the hands of Maul; how could someone go through hell and put on such a happy face?

Zahara and Agastya said something to Talia before leaving as she waved them off. She turned to face the bartender, signaling for another round as a Weequay man occupied the empty stools next to her. The man leaned close to Talia, saying something that had her tense. Rex’s fists clenched, but he didn’t have to do anything because whatever Talia said to the man made him scowl and scoot down a few spaces at the bar.

“Look, if you don’t get off your ass and talk to her; I will,” Fives nudged Rex, fixing his brother with a set of raised eyebrows. Rex tossed a glare at Fives, heat rushing to his face as he shook his head. He looked back at Talia alone at the bar, her foot rapidly tapping on the floor as she sucked down her drink. Rex wanted nothing more than to stand up, take the seat next to her, and make her laugh like how she had done with her friend a few moments before. But as he remembered where he was and how they had left things when he last saw her, doubt creeped into his gut.

“I..I can’t,” Rex sighed, rubbing his hand over his head.

Fives shrugged, stood in the booth and slid out, “Your loss then.”

Talia needed to slow down; this gin and tonic was, what, her fourth, maybe fifth? And then there were the shots – it was never good to mix liquor that much but her head and heart had been pounding since she entered the club. 79’s was possibly on the lowest of the list of places she wanted to go, but Zahara had been going on all week about how she wanted it to be the place they went for her birthday, so Talia had to give in to her friend. Not that she didn’t like the clone bar; she was one of the few Jedi who actually went there ever since some of her troops had invited her early on in the war and she always had a good time relaxing with the boys. She knew the 501st had been planet side for the first time in a while, so she had been expecting to see a few of the boys in blue out, but she had talked herself down from her anxiety, thinking how Rex was probably busy so he probably wouldn’t make an appearance tonight. Sometimes she felt like she was a punching bag for the Force’s sense of humor.

When she caught his gaze walking into the club it was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs; his intense stare lingering on her numbed all the thoughts in her brain and it was just her luck that Zahara noticed something was up and wanted to meet the clones at the table she caught Talia staring at. Talia couldn’t bear the heat radiating off him and felt like a coward when she couldn’t meet his eyes, but in the moment her eyes flicked to his she felt that familiar surge of electricity and the pang of hurt in her gut that she thought she had moved past. What had she done wrong?

The music in the bar echoed in her mind as she watched the clones around the bar use a night off to escape the war; she huffed in annoyance as she felt caged by the one thing she wanted to get away from. Goosebumps prickled on her neck and she was sure eyes still lingered on her, but she couldn’t risk another glance back; that would just humiliate her even further. Even now she could still feel his hands on her skin, his lips a phantom presence still lingering on her, the way he had looked at her full of desire burned into her brain and words of how much he wanted her repeated in her head; but if he had wanted her, why had he switched so suddenly the next day, turning from an adoring lover to an indifferent stranger within minutes? Not even just that that had been moments before; Rex had always been kind and, dare she assume, a friend to her, but once the dropship arrived to pick them up he had acted like she wasn’t even there. The bitterness of rejection brewed in her stomach, because that was the only explanation for it; they’d had one good fuck and that had been enough to satisfy him. And she couldn’t fault him for that necessarily, even if it hurt. No, more than the confusion plaguing her mind she was frustrated with her own resolve.

Taking another gulp of her drink, she cursed herself for how weeks of meditation were thrown out the window; she shouldn’t be feeling this way. She should be just as aloof and indifferent, able to regard it like the quick fling it actually was instead of repeating it every night before she went to bed. She was a Jedi for kark’s sake; she had trained her whole life to not form attachments.

Oh, for kark’s sake don’t go saying you’re attached, she cursed herself, that’ll just make you feel more pathetic.

It was just a one-time thing, she could and should accept that. Kriff, her first time had been a one-night stand, and she hadn’t been as internally wrecked as she was now. She at least had the excuse of the lingering effects of her fight with Maul and Savage to make the council believe that was the reason why she was off; not that that was helping her restless mind. She could barely close her eyes without seeing the red and black tattooed face of Maul imprinted in her vision, and the only thing she could think of for comfort was bare backs lying beneath the sun and tender kisses brushing along scarred skin.

She finished her drink and slammed it on the counter, catching the sulking Weequay man she had rejected a few minutes ago out of the corner of her eye. Talia couldn’t help but chuckle at the guy who thought he could pick up women in a clone bar; if women were coming here to get laid they pretty much had a type.

“Could you use some company?” a familiar voice drawled in her ear. Talia rolled her eyes as she turned to face Fives, who fixed her with a smug glance as he leaned over the bar next to her.

“Not really, but I could use another drink,” Talia cocked a brow at the ARC Trooper who waved his hand at the bartender, ordering another round for the Jedi. When the drink came he slid it into Talia’s hands as she furrowed her brow at him.

“What, nothing for yourself?” She asked, pouring back the drink.

“Oh, uh no, “ he stuttered, turning around at the bar so both his elbows rested on the counter as his front faced the dance floor behind Talia, his head still tilting down to look at her. “I pre-gamed a little too hard at base and I want to make sure I last the night.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, not really convinced. She took another gulp of her drink, draining the contents as she set it on the counter.

“Woah, slow down there,” he mocked, a light laugh escaping but a glimpse of concern in his eyes.

Talia shrugged, “It’s my night off; I can have fun sometimes, you know.”

“Oh, I do know,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her with trouble glinting in his amber irises, earning a light slap on his armored shoulder. That struck Talia as odd too, normally Fives would forgo the top half of his kit when at the bars. Now that she thought of it; their entire table was fully suited and armed…

“Ok, what are you guys up to tonight?” She bluntly asked.

“Nothing, just a night out with the boys!” he waved her off with a nervous shrug. At her intense stare he fumbled, explaining about the plot with the bounty hunters and their mysterious target.

“And Master Kenobi thinks it could be Zahara?”

“Possibly, we just don’t have any other leads yet,” he said. Talia pursed her lips in doubt, sure Zahara had more access to the Chancellor than the average citizen, but sending bounty hunters after her was a stretch.

“How about a dance,” Fives cut across her thoughts.

“I can’t dance,” she scoffed.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he stood up, offering a hand out to her with a sly smile. She rolled her eyes at his cheesiness, but grabbed his hand, adjusting her dress as she leaned up.

“Oh, so you’ll go for a clone, huh?” The surly weequay called out, a sour expression on his face. Fives scowled and opened his mouth to say something when Talia pressed a hand on his chest and turned her head to face the man.

“What can I say; they have a pretty face,” she grabbed Fives’ hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

Surrounded by clones and other dancers, Talia shuffled her feet clumsily, trying to stay in rhythm as she was bumped and prodded by people around her; she hadn’t realized how crowded it had gotten. After standing still for too long the alcohol seemed to hit her system suddenly, her legs like jelly and her visions whirring under the strobing lights. Fives grabbed hold of her hands to steady her as she swayed off beat.

“Ok, you weren’t kidding; you suck at dancing,” he chuckled slowly as he leaned into her ear. He swung her hands slowly to the beat, a grin holding on his face as he moved her with him; “You gotta relax. Here, let me show you how.”

His hands swayed with hers, his hips hitting every beat of the song and making Talia giggle as Fives winked at her. Once she relaxed, she felt more at ease and let loose a bit more; her hips shimmying with the song as the alcohol helped lower her inhibitions too.

With a devilish grin Fives twirled her and pulled her back against his chest. His hand resting firmly on her hips, a presence guiding her to the beat. The bumping beat drove them, swaying together, the plastoid of his codpiece slightly grinding into her as she pushed back against him. Talia’s eyes fluttered shut as she surrendered to the music, leaning her head back over Fives’ armored chest, it was uncomfortable with his pauldron on, but in her tipsy state she didn’t care. His breath fanned hot along her neck as his lips kept a hair length away from her skin. She lost herself in the music, rolling her hips back against Fives as he slowly groaned from the pressure on his codpiece. Her eyes fluttered open, the lazy smile that was on her lips froze as her body tensed.

Rex was leaning back and spread wide in the booth, one arm resting along the top edge and the other harshly gripping the glass on the table in front of him so hard Talia could swear it was about to break. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes narrowed as he watched Talia and Fives. Talia could feel his glare like pinpoints into her skin. Her cheeks hot, she quickly flipped around to face Fives, unable to hold the heat coming from Rex any longer. Fives’s eyes rounded at her in concern, but when he looked over her shoulder, understanding dawned on his face before he leaned low to whisper into Talia’s ear.

“I wanted to see if we could make Rex jealous, but now I feel a little bad.” Talia leaned back, shooting Fives a confused glance. He shook his head in exasperation at her, a cheeky grin growing on his face, “Oh come on, Tal; the man has had a crush on you for ages.”

Talia’s movements slowed as doubt creeped back into her gut; there’s no way that could be true when he had been so cold with her. But you know how he acted with you before. And had she made him jealous by dancing with Fives? The thought somehow thrilled her, thinking she had that power. But then irritation flamed at Fives for getting her hopes up. Shaking her head out to ignore the debate of mixed feelings going on in her mind she tried to get back into the dance but now she was more aware of the set of eyes on her back.

“I must confess, I have an ulterior motive for asking you to dance,” Fives hummed into Talia’s ear. Talia tensed, having a good idea at what he meant by an ‘ulterior motive’ but was surprised when Fives continued, “I was actually hoping you could give me a better introduction to your friend, Zahara.”

Fives tilted his head to their right, where a few groups over Zahara and Agastya were dancing with each other; he smiled bashfully at Talia as she tilted her head back in laughter but ultimately nodded and grabbed Fives arm to bring him over to her friends. Both girls waved over, large grins on their faces as they welcomed Talia and Fives into their circle; Zahara’s eyes had a particular sparkle in them as she slid next to Fives to dance. They danced from one song to the next, a few clones Talia knew joining occasionally to say ‘hello’.; a particularly confident shiny caught Agastya’s attention and she was dancing with him while Fives and Zahara were growing very comfortable with each other. Talia swayed with the music, trying to ignore how much she wanted someone to join her when her treacherous eyes glanced his way to see Rex leaned dover in his booth, in conversation with Anakin, but his eyes were still on Talia.

The room was spinning and suddenly out of air; she didn’t want to be on this dancefloor anymore. Voicing an excuse to her friends, she made her way to the exit, clumsily shrugging past dancers on the floor.

Rex couldn’t help but watch Talia on the dance floor; the way her dress hugged her curves and the way she moved with the music made it impossible for him to tear his eyes away even as Anakin tried to drive the conversation next to him. Rex selfishly admitted he was relieved when Fivess started to dance with Talia’s friend; Rex had almost jumped out of the booth when he saw his vod’s hands all over the body that Rex wanted to claim for himself.

Haar’chak, you know she’s not yours, Rex admonished himself. She probably wants his hands more than she wants yours. But Rex couldn’t fully believe that…Hell, it didn’t matter what Rex believed, there was nowhere to go further.

Talia’s head flipped around as she danced, her eyes briefly meeting him and the smile on her face faded; punching Rex’s gut in the process. She left her friends in a hurry, and Rex was resigned to wait at the table when his eyes caught the Weequay man who had come up to Talia at the bar slam down a drink before sauntering out of the bar behind her.

Rex was vaguely aware of Anakin calling his name as he stood up and strode after them. He pushed his way through the crowd and out the doors of 79s; the landing platform had a few lingering tropes and natborns milling about smoking death sticks, but it wasn’t crowded. A flash of emerald green caught his eyes to his left and he saw Talia, the Weequay a few yards behind her.

“Hey, bitch!” the man slurred reaching his arms to grab Talia at her shoulder. Anger flared in Rex’s veins as his pace quickened to pummel that scum into the dirt, but Talia was quicker.

She stepped on the man's foot with her heel, then grabbed his arm and flipped him over her roughly; his body slamming flat into the ground. The nearby clones cheered, whistling at Talia as she stood victorious over the stunned man. She stepped on his chest and practically growled, “Get the fuck out of here.”

The man scrambled from under her feet, crawling away before finding his footing and sprinting off into the city. Talia shook herself out, her breathing slightly heavier when she turned back and froze, seeing Rex right behind her.

Talia’s heart was still pounding from the creep, but it didn’t calm when she saw Rex there, his fists clenched as if he were prepared to dive into action. They stood there staring at each other, Rex shifting from one foot to the other and Talia crossing her arms in front of her.

“That was pretty impressive,” Rex broke the silence, a hand coming up to rub the back of his head.

“Thanks,” Talia said, her gaze lowering and rising again. The tension still layered thickly around them; the other clones outside were already focusing on their own groups and ignoring their brother and the Jedi standing feet apart from each other.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, no,” Talia waved off Rex’s concern, his gaze softening as he nodded, but his feet seemed planted into the ground because he didn’t leave. “I just wanted some air.”

Rex nodded, turning his body as if he were about to step away, but his feet stayed planted on the ground.

“Any luck on the bounty hunters?” Talia asked, Rex’s head snapped back to her, confusion scrunching his face. “Fives told me.”

Rex snorted, his voice gruff, “Yeah, I’m sure he had a lot of time to fill you in.”

Talia’s jaw dropped as her temper flared. “Excuse me?”

“You two were getting pretty close in there.”

“You have no right to judge me.” She turned on her heels and stormed off towards an alley, aware of the heavy boots stomping behind her. She flipped around to Rex’s stunned face as she jabbed a finger into the plastoid of his armor. “You don’t get to act like you give a shit what I do when you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Me, avoiding you?” Rex huffed, his eyes practically popping out. He took a step towards Talia, her back getting closer to the wall of the building behind her. “You haven’t been able to look me in the eye all night, and when you do, you run off!”

“Well, I’m just returning the behavior you started back when we left the island,” she retorted, glaring at him. She tried to hold in the frustration she felt. Rex’s exasperated expression faded as he cursed under his breath, wiping his hand over his face. “What happened Rex? I didn’t expect anything from you, but you can’t just sleep with someone and ignore them the next second. Was it some bet between you and the boys? See who could fuck the Jedi? Bet you won a lot of credits.”

Pain flickered in Rex’s darkened gaze. “I would never disrespect you like that.”

Talia’s shoulders relaxed, unable to hold her anger in the honesty pouring out of him. “Then what was it? Again, you didn’t owe me anything, but I thought we were friends at least, if I had known…well if I thought we would ruin our friendship I wouldn’t have risked it.”

Rex shook his head, staring out at the entrance to the alley to make sure no one was approaching. “I just…I heard about you and Fives,” he blurted out.

“Me and Fives?” At Rex’s nod, Talia cursed, rubbing her temple in her hands. “What the fuck did he tell you?”

“That you hooked up.”

“Oh, he left it that vague?” Talia huffed. Rex cocked a brow at her, so she explained, “Fives and I made out; that’s it. He had been going around 79’s all night, boasting about how he was promoted and deserved a kiss. When he got to me, I was the only girl who he hadn’t kissed yet in the club, and I admit I had a bit to drink so I was a bit overenthusiastic, but that was it. At the most he maybe felt my ass up a bit.”

“Oh,” Rex said flatly, his feet shuffling. “So, there’s nothing going on between you?”

“No,” Talia answered, a light chuckle escaping her lips now. “Is that what this was all about?”

Rex didn’t answer, he just rested his hands along the edge of his utility belt and stared at Talia. He nodded at her then shifted his feet as if he was about to leave.

“Fives said something curious while we were dancing,” Talia said. Rex paused and tilted his head back at Talia. “He said he was doing it to make you jealous, any idea what that meant?”

His tongue against his cheek and his hands flexing, Rex raised his eyes and fixed Talia with a harsh stare, “You know what it meant.”

“No, I really don’t.” Talia’s heart pounded in her head as her cheeks flushed. Rex shook his head at her and started to step back.

“We can’t have this conversation.”

“Rex, we need to!” Talia grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Look, I would get it if it was just done out of boredom or needing a quick release, but Rex I felt how much you wanted it. Wanted me. You said you had been wanting it for a while; I saw the honesty in your eyes as you told me so. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that it was just a one-time thing I’ll respect that; but I think you feel something more because I know I do. And hells, I’m not supposed to and I don’t know what it is but I feel it.”

“Talia I…of course I felt something,” Rex sighed, stepping closer to her. “I meant it when I said I wanted you, dammit, I’ve wanted you from the moment I met you. But we should have never let it go that far; I should have controlled myself better.”

“What if we forgot about what we should do and just did what we wanted to?” Her eyes pleaded with him, she hesitantly brought a hand to his face, cupping his cheek as he nuzzled into it, fine stubble grazing against her palm. He stepped closer to her, his hand resting her waist as he crowded her into the wall, towering over her as his head leaned down and rested his forehead on hers. His eyes fluttered closed, and Talia took in the warmth radiating off him, a warmth that seeped into her own body as she enveloped him. The faint fresh scent of GAR soap mingled with hints of caf lingering on him as he pressed closer, his lips oh so close to meeting hers. His eyes opened to meet hers, the same want and pining she felt mirrored in his amber. But the heat in his eyes clouded as they dropped their hold on her.

“I can’t.” Rex’s words fanned against her lips, his hand releasing from her waist when he straightened. Tears brimming in the corners of her eyes and a hole burning in her chest, Talia lowered her head as she crossed her arms, building up every wall she could muster.

“We should go back inside before anyone wonders where we are,” she mumbled, staring at her toes in her shoes. “You should go ahead of me, and I’ll follow in a minute, wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, right?”

She raised her head and fixed him with a forced grin. Rex stood in front of her for a moment, lips pressed together and a flush creeping on his neck. He furrowed his brow, cursed under his breath, and walked away towards the alley entrance before halting his steps to turn his head over his shoulder and said, “You look really pretty,” before leaving her in the alley.

She leaned back against the wall as tears trailed down her face, trying to breathe deeply to calm herself. She felt like she had been punched in the gut; he said he wanted her, but it still wasn’t enough, she wasn’t enough.

Wiping away her tears, praying that her makeup wasn’t smudged, she collected herself and paced out of the alley. She took a deep breath before stepping in the direction of 79’s, but was lurched back as a large, scaly hand covered her mouth with a cloth. A tall, green Trandoshan gripped her from behind and dragged her backwards, his pointed tongue slipping out near her cheek as he grunted while she struggled. Before she could land her elbow in his gut, her muscles grew heavy, and her vision quickly blurred before fading to black.

Rex strode back into 79’s, guilt taking him over as he beelined for the bar; damn the mission, he needed a drink. The hurt look on Talia’s face burned into his mind, he didn’t want to do it but it was better for both of them in the long run; she deserved better than him.

As the bartender slipped him a whiskey, his comm went off.

“I need backup outside now,” Ahsoka’s voice rang out. “They have the target…it was Talia.”

Rex dropped the glass in his hand and sprinted out from the bar, out of the corner of his eyes he saw the others behind him. Pushing past clones, he exited 79’s and was back in the cool night air as blaster fire sounded off.

Ahsoka had both her green blades ignited, reflecting shots from a few hunters as a Trandoshan tossed Talia’s limp form onto a speeder before jumping in himself. Three bounty hunters were stationed on the loading platform, with another two on the speeder with Talia and the Trandoshan. Pulling his blasters out, Rex returned fire against the bounty hunters, giving Ashoka enough coverage to advance as she leaped onto the speeder. The pilot panicked and took off, not caring that half his team wasn’t on board.

Cursing, Rex ran to the edge of the platform where a Rodian bounty hunter was stealing a speeder bike, its owner calling for help. Rex gripped the Rodian by the scruff of his collar and tossed him to the ground. The owner’s thanks to Rex turned into a litany of profanity as Rex hopped on it and sped off.

Navigating through the heavy traffic of the city, Rex tracked the other speeder with the aid of Ahsoka’s lightsabers acting as a beacon as she fought the hunters. He caught up to them and pulled his blaster out to aim at its thrusters when the pilot jerked the speeder sideways, jolting Ahsoka off. Rex dove after her, his arm reaching out to grab hers as he leveled with her.

“Thanks, Rex. I owe you one,” she panted as she threw herself on the speeder behind him.

“No problem, Commander,” Rex replied, swerving the bike upwards to catch back up to the bounty hunters. Their speeder was further off now, Rex had to push the bike into full throttle to close some distance, but it still was too far off.

“Rex, pull up!” Ahsoka shouted.

Rex followed her order, and just in time as a large grey starship blew right through where they had just been. Levelling off the bike and returning to course, Rex scanned the skyline for the speeder with Talia.

“I can’t see them anymore.” Rex cursed.

“I was able to drop a tracker on the hood, just in case. I can send the frequency to the others.”

Talia’s first sight was blurred lights as her head pounded. Kriff, how much did I drink last night…wait, it’s still dark out…and I’m moving. And whose voices are those? Her limbs felt weak as she tried to push herself up, only to drop when she noticed her company; a human pilot who seemed anxious, another armored figure she assumed to be a human, and a green Trandoshan. Then the memory surfaced of being grabbed outside the club and being knocked out. Well, fuck me.

“Seems like we lost them, kid,” the Trandoshan hissed, aiming a rifle off the back of the speeder. Talia tried to stay still, attempting not to alert her captors that she was awake while she thought of some kind a plan; she was still weak from the drug and the drinks she had before that night, but with the right use of the Force she should be able to get out of this and figure out why that had grabbed her.

Cursing herself for not even trying to fit just one part of her saber under her dress that night, she took note of her surroundings for anything she could use as a weapon but it was no use; the only thing she had with her was her purse, which sat on the speeder floor. Slowly, she levitated the purse off the floor, waiting for just the right moment for the bounty hunters to be distracted and…

The shuttle tilted to the left as the gold purse knocked into the back of the pilots head; it wasn’t enough to injure the pilot but he didn’t seem to like the idea of a now conscious captive in the backseat. Talia took the moment of disarray to her advantage, using the force to snatch the blaster rifle out of the Trandoshan’s hand. Reflexes lagging from her lingering tipsiness; she took a harsh blow to the face that had her seeing stars when the Trandoshan punched her in the cheek. Falling back against the side of the speeder, she shook her head out just in time to slide away from another hit. The speeder levelled, giving her time to roll underneath the Trandoshan’s legs to cross to the other side of the backseat as he steadied himself.

“You didn’t say she was a Jedi!” the pilot shouted.

“We didn’t know either,” the armored human fired back, in a surprisingly young voice. He raised his dual blasters and pointed them at Talia. “You’re lucky you’re wanted alive.”

“Sorry to make your job more difficult,” Talia sneered. She leapt up, landing a kick to the chest of the hunter that snapped her heel but knocked him back to the hood of the speeder. The armored hunter activated serrated edges on his vambrace to lock himself onto the speeder, preventing himself from falling off. The Trandoshan swiped at her, but she was ready for the blow; she kicked his feet out from under him, then pushed him off the speeder with the Force and watched him land on a nearby transport.

She lurched back into the seat as the pilot pulled up; it seemed he was anxiously hoping she wouldn’t target him next. The armored hunter used this to his advantage and released himself from the hood so he could stand on the seat next to Talia. The speeder leveled again, and Talia propped up, standing lopsided due to her broken shoe. The hunter lunged at her, and she blocked his blow with her forearm. She tried the same swipe maneuver she had used on the Trandoshan, but this hunter was expecting it and dodged. What he wasn’t expecting was the roundhouse kick that followed, hitting him in the side of his head and unlatching his helmet.

*PEW*

Flames burst from the thrusters and the speeder dropped. Talia and the hunter fell into the seats, clutching on to the leather as they rocketed towards the ground. The pilot panicked, pulling his hands up over his head as an attempt to block himself. Talia rolled over the edge of the seat and kicked him into the co-pilot seat; she wasn’t going to die like this. With the thrusters out, there was little she could do, but she could at least navigate where they crashed or get low enough to the ground where she could hop out at the last second.

Dodging transports as the air whistled around her, her eyes caught a docking platform. Mustering all her strength, she steered in its direction, the speeder gaining more and more speed by the second. There was no surviving this crash. The former pilot sat covering his eyes with his hands, but the armored one in the back looked ready to pounce out, he must have been wise enough to calculate their odds. The platform approached, people on the surface scrambling out of the way as the speeder roared towards them. They would be over solid ground in 3…2….1

Talia leapt and rolled out of the speeder before it crashed into a large stack of crates on the platform, its front bursting into flames immediately. She skidded on the ground and rolled onto her back, coughing from the smoke. She pushed herself up just in time to see the armored hunter raising his blaster. She dodged the stunning shot, rolling to the side of the hunter. She gripped his forearm and twisted it behind him. The Force pushed him away from her, his body rolling over and his unlatched helmet falling off. Her defenses faltered when she saw how young he was; he couldn’t be older than s13. His face contorted in rage; the boy stood with clenched fists prepared to launch again. Exhausted, Talia flicked her wrist and sent him flying into a wall before sprinting off.

She clumsily worked her way through the crowd of nosy onlookers; there had to be a public comm around here somewhere so she could call for help. She had to be a sight; one heel broken, her dress crumpled, hair astray and a definite bruise forming on her face where the Trandoshan hit her. She turned into an alley to catch her breath, leaning against the wall as she heaved when steps sounded behind her.

While she didn’t know any of the hunters from the speeder, the figure before her now was one she was familiar with. A Duros bounty hunter, with a large brimmed hat; Cad Bane.

“Hey there, little lady,” he drawled, a toothpick in his mouth while pointing a blaster at her. “I see you’re dressed for a dance, but I think it’s more worth your while if you come quietly.”

“Well, I must say I’m not much of a dancer, “she panted, her eyes scanning for any possible escape routes. She figured she could stall Bane until she regained some energy at least. “Would you mind letting me know who’s this interested in finding me?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Bane said, stepping closer to Talia, trapping her further in the alley. “They did leave out the little detail of you being a Jedi; I’ll have to charge double.”

“I’m afraid this is one paycheck you won’t be able to collect.”

Bane growled as he snapped around to face Obi-Wan and Anakin leading Ahsoka and the group of clones, along with a few Coruscant Guard members who must have responded to the trouble. Talia’s gaze caught Rex, his eyes trained in a glare on Cad Bane as he held his blasters locked on the hunter.

“Kenobi,” Bane said, spitting out the toothpick in his mouth. Bane was a skilled hunter, the best of the best, but Talia could tell he didn’t like the odds of this situation. The Duros glanced around him, then looked over his shoulder at Talia and said, “Sorry, little lady. Guess we’ll have that dance another time.”

Bane shot a pipe over his head; steam pouring out and shrouding him. Before the clones Obi-Wan or Anakin could apprehend Bane, a gray transport lowered over the alley; it’s thrusters knocked the troops and the Jedi off their feet. Talia felt a gloved hand on her arm and was ready to strike a blow to free herself when she realized it wasn’t a harsh, rough grip but a firm, protective one. Rex kneeled next to her, one hand pulling on her arm to shove her behind him as the other raised a blaster in the spot Bane had just been standing in. The ship pulled away and the air cleared, revealing Bane to be gone. Talia pushed herself into a sitting position, Rex’s grip only slightly loosening.

“How bad are you hurt?” he asked, eyes falling to her cheek.

“It’s not bad,” Talia shook her head. Rex’s eyes narrowed, a tight smirk creeping on his lips as he shook his head and waved Kix over. Talia sighed as she let Kix examine her, informing her that nothing was broken and that the bruise should fade in a few days as he applied some bacta.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka paced over once Kix was finished checking her over. Rex stood by Cody as he briefed the Coruscant Guard troops who showed up about the situation. Obi-Wan helped Talia to her feet, eyes filled with concern as he began to question her, “Do you have any idea why they’re after you?”

Talia sighed, “I was hoping you all would have found something out; I have no clue but they did seem surprised I was a Jedi.”

“Who did you manage to piss off so much?” Anakin said, traces of a teasing smile on his face.

“Whoever they are, they’ll have to deal with Zahara’s wrath for ruining her birthday,” Talia laughed before grimacing. “Shit, they have no idea what happened; I need to get back to 79’s and-“

“You’re not going anywhere,” Anakin cut her off, his voice suddenly harsh and protective. He softened then said “We’ll send some of the clones back to update your friends. We were going to let them have the rest of their night back anyway.”

Talia nodded. “Is there anything I could do to help with the investigation?”

“It’s probably best if you get back to the temple as soon as possible,” Obi-Wan said. “We don’t know how many more are out there, but I don’t like the idea of you travelling alone right now.”

“Rex could escort her,” Ahsoka piped in. Rex’s head snapped in the direction of the Jedi; his brows furrowed. Heat rose to Talia’s cheeks as she pursed her lips.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I can escort the General, Sir.”

Rex and Talia spoke over each other, Talia’s arms crossing in annoyance. Obi-Wan either didn’t notice or chose to ignore her demeanor, clapped his hands together and said, “Excellent, it’s settled then.”

Talia nodded at the Jedi Master before turning on her heel and stumbling off to the alley exit; this missing heel was going to be a problem. Rex strode slightly behind her, the stomp from his heavy boots echoing on the duracrete.

“Do you need a hand?” Rex asked, offering his arm.

“Nope, perfectly fine.” Talia answered bluntly. Rex rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. Talia halted in her steps, lifted the foot with the good heel in her hand and snapped it. She took a few sample steps; she was still clumsy but was on more even footing now. Rex rolled his eyes again but followed her to a cab line. Once they hailed a cab, Rex opened the door to let Talia slide in.

“Jedi Temple,” Rex told the driver as he sat down.

“Wait, no,” Talia said, before giving the driver a different address. Rex gave her a curious look and she explained “It’s Zahara’s place; I was going to spend the night there so all of my things are there; including my lightsaber.”

“Would have been useful to have that on you,” Rex grumbled.

Tongue in her cheek while she stared out the window at the blurred city lights, Talia said, “Couldn’t exactly hide it in my outfit tonight.”

“You hid it under a dress before,” Rex stated, a smirk on his lips at the memory.

“What, so you spend a lot of time thinking about what’s under my dress?” Talia said mockingly, teasing. She lowered her voice so the driver couldn’t hear her, “Strange considering how much you seem to regret the time you actually found out.”

Rex’s expression soured as he turned to face Talia. His eyes scanned her face, her own expression guarded and solid. “You know I don’t.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” she huffed, turning back to the window. Rex exhaled deeply, his head leaning back against the top of the seat.

“Talia,” he started, his voice flat. “I’m not trying to hurt you; that’s the last thing I want.”

“But what do you want Rex?” She snapped, still locking her gaze out the window. Rex was silent beside her; she could see his reflection in the window as he stared at her, before lowering his gaze and looking out his own window and staying silent for the rest of the ride.

As Rex paid for the driver, Talia had already bolted out the door and was making her way to the entrance of the apartment complex. The spit-fire attitude she had right now was one he usually admired on the battlefield, but he didn’t like being on the receiving end of it. At first he thought he could right some of his wrongs to her by being alone with her again, but it seemed like he was the last person she wanted to be with. Rex pondered why out of all the others there, Ahsoka had called him out to be the one to escort Talia home, then he groaned internally when he remembered Ahsoka had been stationed outside all night; she had problem witnessed them in the alley, Rex could only hope she wasn’t listening. Rex followed her, just grabbing the turbolift door before it closed. Talia stood in the corner of the turbolift; arms crossed as shook her head.

“You don’t have to come up,” she mumbled, running a hand through her hair.

“Figured I would just wait for you while you grabbed your things, then I can take you to the temple,” Rex stated bluntled, hands on his hips as he stood in the corner of the lift opposite of her.

“I’m not going to the temple tonight,” Talia said. Before Rex could argue, she continued, “I haven’t left the temple in weeks and on my one night away, this shit happens. I just need to be somewhere else tonight.”

Rex frowned, watching the rapidly increasing numbers as the turbolift rose through the high-rise. He didn’t want to give her more cause to be irritated with him, but Rex didn’t like the idea of leaving her here when the threat of more hunters loomed; what if they had been followed? Talia sighed next to him and uncrossed her arms.

“You can check out the place if that makes you feel better,” Talia sihed as the lift slowed. The doors opened and she strode out, mumbling under her breath. “Not sure why you care so much all of a sudden…”

“Haar’chak, Talia!” Rex exclaimed exiting the elevator, following Talia who didn’t waiver in her steps as she stood outside a door, keying in a code. “Don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”

“ME? Making it difficult?” She harshly fired back. The door to the apartment slid open, showing a pristine white apartment, the only color coming from green plants all over the apartment and the lights of the city shining through large permaglass windows fitted from the ceiling to the floor of the far side of the room, a doorway to a balcony in the middle. Talia kicked off her shoes and circled around to point her finger at Rex as he crossed the threshold. “You’re Mr. Walking-Mixed-Signals over here! One second you act like you give a shit, then the next you’re completely indifferent!”

“Because it makes it easier!” Rex shouted. Sleeping neighbors be damned, he had to get this off his chest. “I’m crazy about you Talia, you’re all that’s on my mind. Wondering where you are in the galaxy, wondering if you’re safe. Ever since that island, you’ve haunted my brain and I acted coldly because I thought you didn’t want me in the same way.”

The harsh glare on Talia’s face disappeared, her eyes round at Rex’s words. Doubt creeped back into her expression as she shifted on her feet. “But earlier when I told you there was nothing going on between me and Fives, you still left.”

“Because…what can we really be, Talia? I’m a clone, you’re a Jedi. We’re both sworn to the Republic in different ways. As much as I want you, I know this will only end badly.”

“So, you’re writing if off before we can even have a chance?” She asked, her voice cracking. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. Shaking her head, she turned away. “Just go then, Rex. I can’t deal with this back and forth anymore.”

His jaw clenching, Rex turned abruptly, slamming the door open and exiting the apartment, stomping heavily down the hallway towards the turbolift. His steps slowed the closer he got to the lift, until he stood a few paces back. His heart pounding in his head, he turned to look at the door of the apartment he just left. Rangir.

His feet carried him back to the door, his fist raised to knock on it when it opened; Talia stood on the other side, eyes wide in shock as if she weren’t expecting him to be right there. She stepped back as Rex advanced through the doorway, shutting the door behind him. Their eyes locked on each other’s. Rex stepped forward again, but Talia did not back away this time, as if an invisible string pulled them together. Talia trembled in anticipation as Rex pressed a hand to the small of her back, bringing her in before he crashed his lips to hers. His other hand gripped the swell of her ass, scrunching up her dress as he groaned into her mouth.

Talia wrapped her arms around Rex’s neck, then jumped up, her legs gathering around his waist as his hands dropped to her thighs to hold her. Tongue met tongue while they kissed, Rex holding her steady in the entry to the apartment before breaking the kiss and asking, “Bedroom?”

“To your right,” Talia answered, breathing heavily before kissing Rex again. He hummed against her lips, turning, and treading carefully through the apartment to the door she signaled. Kicking the door behind him as they entered, he turned around and pressed Talia into it; the hard wall and his plastoid sandwiching her as he rutted against her, his codpiece became more and more uncomfortable by the minute. The skirt of her dress rode up above her waist as Talia moaned from the hard contact against her core, her own hips rolling with Rex’s movements. Rex dropped her legs to take off his gloves; in his full armor his frame overwhelmed her, her legs a quivering mess as he crowded her closer to the wall. His mouth left hers to kiss along her jawline and the soft skin on her neck.

His hands, now free, latched onto her dress; the silky fabric scrunched between his fingers as he slid it up her thighs. One hand travelled to her inner thigh, teasing her sensitive skin as it rose back up the center, reaching the apex of her legs. His fingers circled over her panties, feeling moisture seeping through.

“Already wet for me and I’ve barely touched you,” Rex whispered into her neck, Talia’s breath hitching as his fingers slipped under her panties. His fingers slid through her folds, gathering the slickness as his thumb flicked over her clit. At Talia’s gasp from the contact over her bundle of nerves, Rex focused his thumb’s movements on it and circled it, making Talia’s legs quake. Rex’s hand on her waist kept her steady while he continued mouthing along her neck and collarbone, occasionally nipping her silky skin as she whimpered beneath him.

A finger slipped into her entrance, the tight walls of her cunt dragging it into her warmth. Rex groaned at the tightness, his cock twitching under his codpiece wanting to seek relief. His hand gripped Talia’s dress tighter as her fingers clung to his plastoid covered biceps, anchoring onto him as he added a second finger. He thrust his fingers in and out of her, her breath pitching higher and higher with each thrust. When he curved his digits, she gasped out, her head banging back against the door.

“Yes, right there!” she sighed out, her eyes squeezing shut in bliss. Rex lifted his head from the crook of her neck, observing a series of love bites he didn’t realize he had been making on her skin. He pulled back to watch her face contorted in pleasure as he followed her orders, hitting that sensitive spongy spot with each stroke.

“Eyes on me, princess,” he growled, Talia’s eyes fluttering open, a flame behind her blue eyes as she smirked at the nickname, her walls clenching around his fingers as he spoke. “Hmmm, you liked that, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” she said, her voice pitching up in the last syllable as Rex’s pace sped up, the pressure of his thumb over her clit increased as he circled it. Her cheeks were rosy and her pupils dilated as her lips parted, more moans escaping from them due to the skill of Rex’s dexterous hands. She was barely able to stand from how much her legs were quaking, using Rex as the only balance to keep herself upright. He maintained his pace, fucking her with his hand deeped and deeper as her read her reactions, the way her moans pitched, how her breath shallowed, the way her eyes glazed over, how her her hips gyrated with the movements of his hand until she fell off the edge they were building toward; her tight walls clenching around Rex’s fingers as Talia cried out in release.

Rex pumped his fingers until her orgasm finished, her breath leveling out as she rested her head back against the wall. Rex’s fingers slipped out her, coated in her juices, a low whine leaving her mouth as she felt their absence.

“What, that wasn’t enough for you?” Rex teasingly asked, leaning in to peck her on the lips.

“That was…quite nice,” she breathily answered, making Rex smirk. Her eyes rose to his in a challenge, a growing smile lighting up her face. Her hand slid down to cup over his codpiece, Rex growling at the friction of the barrier against his hardness. “I was hoping for something else of yours to be inside me though.”

Rex groaned, hungrily kissing her as he pulled her away from the wall. “I think we can make that happen.”

Talia’s hands pulled at his armor, desperately trying to get Rex out of his plastoid cage so she could feel his body against hers. “How the hell does this come off?”

Rex chuckled as his hands met her, guiding them to the latches beneath the seams of his armor. “Someone’s needy,” he teased, pulling his vambraces off, mockingly slow as he disassembled his armor piece by piece. He could tell Talia’s patience wore thin by the glint in her eyes, something that made him want to test her more. A battle that would be hard fought, he realized, as Talia’s hand grabbed the front of his utility belt and dragged him closer to her.

“Hurry up, Captain; the faster this armor’s gone, the faster I’ll be out of my dress,” she leaned up to whisper in his ear, her teeth nibbling at his earlobe. Rex groaned at her use of his rank, arousal shooting up his spine. He rushed to discard the rest of his armor, his head tilting back in relief as his codpiece released.

Rex gripped Talia’s waist, rotated her around so her back was against his chest. Kissing her shoulder and up to the back of her next, his fingers fumbled with the zipper on her dress; his lips followed the opening fabric down her spine, kissing along her back. Once it was opened, she stood up, roughly rotating to face him as he slid one shoulder strap down, then the other, before tugging the rest of the silky slip down her body. She wore a black, lacy strapless bra and matching lace underwear; an image that would live in his head from now on. He kissed her and reached around her back to undo the clasp on her bra; it slid off to join the dress on the floor.

Talia tugged at Rex’s blacks, lifting the shirt over his head before he leaned down to kiss her again. She kissed back harder, pressing her hands on his bare chest to push him back, his knees hitting the foot of the bed behind him. Talia’s fingers wrapped around the waistline of his pants and tugged them down, his swollen cock bouncing up to his stomach. Talia grinned, licking her lips at the sight of it before she nudged Rex backwards into a seating position on the bed. She peeled her panties off, rested one hand on Rex’s shoulders before straddling him, and used the other to line him up at her entrance before sinking down on him.

They both groaned in unison, Rex overwhelmed by the warmness enveloping his cock and Talia stuffed full. Rex rutted his hips up experimentally, his hands gripping the meat of Talia’s thighs as she clenched around him. Once she adjusted, she rotated her hips against his, moaning as she felt his thickness drag within her. Rex’s pace increased, thrusting up into Talia as she dug her nails into his shoulders. Talia met his movements, pushing herself up and down to bounce on his cock.

Their foreheads met, both with beading sweat forming on their brows as they moved in tandem, their moans melting together, Talia’s high pitched and Rex’s low and guttural. One of his hands slid up her waist to grope her bouncing breast, his thumb teasing the pert nipple by flicking over it. She pulled her head back slightly, her blue eyes piercing into his amber ones; both pairs blown out and filled with a need for the other. Rex thrusted harder, his ass leaving the bed as he entered her deeper. All those months of tension, their longing and misread singles being worked out wordlessly as his body pulled into hers. Talia’s head fell back, her nails digging into Rex’s skin from the impact. He pounded up into her, the slap of skin on skin echoing through the room as his cock slammed into her. He could tell she was faltering, her movements slowing as she wasn’t able to keep up with his harsh pace.

Rex took hold of Talia’s hips and flipped her over, so she was laying back on the bed with him still sheathed in her. Her tits bounced as she slammed back inside, a sight that made Rex lean down and latch his mouth onto one of her nipples, making her whine. He circled his tongue around it then pushed himself back up and looked at her. In their hastiness they hadn’t turned on the lights in the bedroom, but the lights from the ecumenopolis outside peering through the large windows cast them both in a glow.

Rex gripped the soft back of Talia’s knees, spread her legs, and pushed them back so she was almost bent in half. He leaned over her, devouring her mouth with another kiss before penetrating her again, setting a punishing pace. This angle allowed him to hit even deeper, his cock stroking a sensitive spot on her walls that had her crying out. The bed creaked beneath them and the headboard slammed against the wall as Rex roughly fucked her, the grip on her legs bruising. He couldn’t pace himself; there would be a time when he could take her slowly and savor her, but Rex was too pent up. He needed to fill her, he needed to bring her to a screaming release as she called his name, his cock buried inside her. Tears brimmed in Talia’s eyes as she arched her back, meeting each of Rex’s thrusts, the only way she was able to move with the way he was driving her towards pleasure.

“Rex…I’m gonna..”

“Cum for me, mesh’la,” He growled out, his pace not faltering.

Talia’s eyes rolled back into her head, her hands gripped the comforter beneath them, and her toes curled as she succumbed to the waves of pleasure; her mouth contorted in a perfect ‘O’ and her brows tight on her reddened face.

Her walls clenched around Rex’s cock, her juices slicking his every stroke as he resisted the urge to plunge himself deep inside her and release his seed. His thrusts grew sloppy, the heat and grip from her orgasm making his balls tighten until he couldn’t hold on any longer. He pulled out of Talia, her body limp against the mattress as he jerked himself off over her, releasing his cum on her tits; his brain turning to fuzz as he groaned out.

He collapsed next to her, both their chests heaving, a layer of sweat settled over their skin. Rex propped himself up, kissing Talia’s cheek as she stared at the ceiling, still dazed. He left the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom connected to the room and came back to wipe his spend off Talia’s chest.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, heat creeping along his neck as he cleaned her up.

“I actually thought it was hot,” she blushed, sliding under the covers of the bed. She bit her lip and looked up at Rex, her hair disheveled, and her lips slightly swollen from kissing. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

Rex took her in, her questioning expression, eyes wide in apprehension. Every rational bone in his body told him he should go back to base, but Rex knew he was too far gone. Before the island, Rex had never spent the night with a woman; he had his fair share of hookups, but out of the women he had gone home with he had always left right after, never wanting to be a burden or feel the need for that level of intimacy. But the thought of getting the chance to wake up with her another morning was too blissful for him to pass up. He crawled over her, kissed her forehead, then settled into the spot on the bed beside her. She sidled up next to him, her cheek resting along his chest as his arms wrapped around her. The sweet beckoning of sleep called to him as his eyes grew heavy, the soft breaths of Talia already drifting off lulling him into a restful sleep.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@pinkiemme @shuttlelauncher81 @djarrex @hockeyjedi13 @justanothersadperson93 @paige6768 @saltywintersoldat @crosshairxstars @dinner-djarin @collectoroffics @whore4rex @grimhood9

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gigglinggoblin · 3 years

Text

Whisper Drinkers: No More Words

Image used with permission from the lovely and fantastically talented Cody Darkstalker! Go check out her gorgeous collection on her Twitter, Instagram and Onlyfans!

[pov: anygirl, femdom, undead but sweet, nsfw, hypnosis, fantasy, intelligence reduction, pet play, headpats, leghumping, consensual, but you know maybe don’t actually drain your partner’s thoughts without asking them irl idk you should tell them if you’re a vampire thing that drinks words is all I’m saying]

"U-Um, so, so maybe I'm talking too much," Ami whimpered, as the mysterious woman next to her on the bed reached over, took her by the hand, and began to delicately caress it, running long and slender fingertips over Ami's palm and smiling slyly up at her, "it's just th-that I'm, um, well, see, I've never—never had anyone in my room before, is all."

The raven-haired beauty smiled up at her, hearts dotting her cheeks like freckles, luscious lips parted in a tempestuous pout. Her pretty jewelry caught the room’s rosy light so dazzlingly. So glamorous and glimmery...

Ami squirmed and barely held in a squeak as the woman beamed and scooted a little closer. She reached up and affectionately stroked Ami's cheek.

Then her hand slipped down to tug at the neckline of Ami's modest blouse.

"Oh!" Ami bit her lip, excitement trickling through her almost as fast as the red rushing to her cheeks. "I-I mean, well, see, of course I—" Her voice nearly broke as she felt her hand being guided to the woman's breast, guided to rest there, to gently feel the softness of the woman's skin, such a pretty hue of rosy-pink in the light.

"—it's not my room, of course," she corrected, cheeks burning, wiggling as the woman started undoing buttons on the blouse, undressing her even as she babbled. Why can’t I stop talking? Please, gods, let me stop talking.

"I mean, it is, because—well, I paid f-for the room, it's an inn, obviously. It's just tha—<i>aaaaat</I>—" She practically mewled as she felt her blouse being tugged away, as the woman leaned in even closer, and she breathed in that sweet minty perfume. Oh, fuck, this lady smelled so... so nice...

"Just that," she panted, but her words were scattering to the winds as those soft, luscious, pouty lips settled on her neck and began to kiss slowly, sweetly, indulgently across her skin, "just that, um, I mean, I-I've... I've, um... never..."

She felt a hand on her side, and without thinking, Ami allowed herself to be steered so she could be pushed back onto the bed.

Her head settled onto the pillow, and she was squirming and blushing and whimpering as she now felt the mysterious woman's cool, plush weight on her, pinning her to the bed, as those lips smacked indulgently along her neck and jawline. "... n-never," she whimpered, marveling at the softness of the breast as she squeezed and fondled it, "never... with..."

She trailed off into a moan as those wonderful kisses reached the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulders, as her sensible bra was undone to join the blouse beneath her.

Her head was starting to feel so... so bubbly. So fizzy. She actually giggled as she felt the woman's fingers running through her hair, stroking her with the utmost gentleness. "Oh, um, g-gosh," she gasped, wriggling, "you're... p-petting me l-like I'm s-some kind of... um... um... umm..."

Kitten. Puppy. Bunny. Pet. Silly girl who needs to be comforted and soothed. She struggled to form the words, desperate to fill the silence, but no sooner had the thoughts bubbled up into her mind than they were gone. She blinked dazedly, bubbles popping throughout her fizzy pink mind.

The kisses paused. The woman pulled up and blinked innocently down at her, parting those soft, kissable lips in a seductive pout.

Ami stared up into those eyes. Stared at those lips. A little whimper escaped her, but she found she didn’t... didn’t quite know what to say right now.

But even as she was given a brief reprieve from the kisses, Ami squirmed, feeling some... other attentions getting a lot more pronounced. That other hand was not being idle. Long, slender, delicate fingers ran over her breasts, groping, fondling, stroking in dainty spirals around her nipples.

Ami shivered. Even more tantalizingly, the strange woman's knee was placed right between Ami's thighs so... so perfectly, and the thought occurred to her that it would be so easy to just kind of... grind...

Her words melted away, and she giggled, quite forgetting exactly what she'd been trying to say. "Th-This feels... nice..." she mumbled, as more bubbles of pink pleasure popped in her mind, as she found herself grinding more and more overtly, unable to remember why she would ever hold back.

She let out a moan, and oh, gods, moaning felt so good... so much better than talking...

The woman smiled and cooed her pleasure with Ami, one of the first sounds, Ami realized dumbly, she'd heard the woman make so far. And then she forgot why this was strange, because the lady’s voice was so pretty, and knowing her lover was pleased just made Ami want to grind and hump harder as those kisses returned to her neck, her breasts, so soft and sweet and indulgent, and Ami mewled and whined happily.

She could no longer remember much of anything, actually, aside from feeling good. She humped the strange woman's leg like a wifwolf in heat, moaning and panting, because why would she need to babble and prattle when she could be making cute horny noises like those that seemed to please the woman so well?

She beamed and cooed and wriggled happily as the woman rose up slightly, those glowing crimson eyes shining like twin sunsets, so pretty, so happy with Ami.

Ami was being a good girl, Ami knew, even if her lover couldn't say it. And that realization was the sweetest feeling of all.

And Ami giggled and squealed and bounced and ground against the leg as she came, came under her skirt like a good girl, and made even more adorable noises in the process.

She was panting, red-faced, gasping for breath. She was drowning in the pink mist. Drifting in the fizzy pink bubbles.

But... she was still horny, she realized dimly, even in afterglow.

So, so horny.

She stared up into those bright lights and smiled dreamily as her beautiful pale lover leaned down for the softest of kisses, the stranger’s lips pillowy and fulsome, her own sighs of bliss impossibly faint but sending Ami into a daze of pleasure.

Ami wrapped her arms around her lover and moaned into the kiss, and happily allowed her inner thoughts to dissolve, for a time, into pure, sweet nothings.

The pale woman no longer felt cold. But maybe Ami was just blushing hot enough for the both of them now.

~ ~ ~ ~

Whisper drinkers are a rare and unusual form of vampire that drink not blood, or cum, or milk, but words themselves. Said to arise from those who died lost to their own worries and anxieties, the whisper drinker is often considered a benevolent spirit, as far as any of the Dead can be described as such. They are often drawn to the worried, tired or anxious, and with their kisses, they slowly ease the thoughts away, granting their lovers a brief reprieve, comfort and affection.

Spirit Rangers consider whisper drinkers to be very low-priority targets, though it is something of a controversial subject whether whisper drinkers truly understand what they are doing. Some argue that the whisper drinker acts as a nearly elemental being, purely occupied with her instincts, and cares nothing for those she lies with. Others, particularly those who form relationships with the mute undead, claim that there is far greater complexity to the whisper drinker than anyone truly understands.

[Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story and want to read more like it, there’s absolute tons of content on my Patreon. For just a few dollars a month, you gain access to alternate Bad Ends, bonus stories, polls on future content, early updates, erotic text-based roleplay/D&D games, and much, much more! If you can afford to, consider pledging, so I can keep posting Tumblr fics like this one on the regular! Thank you! <3]

[My Patreon] [My Commission Info]

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#cloisteredcreatures #ami #whisper drinker

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meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, usage of toys, dirty talkin’, a bit of a filler chapter after last weeks hehe🍒 as always, thank you again for your continued support for cherry bomb 🥺💕 I'm actually not sure if next week’s chapter will go up on time due to my work schedule for next week but��I'll be sure to keep y’all updated! if anything it’ll probably go up on saturday instead of friday... 😭😭 But anyway, have a good weekend yall! 💕💕💕 stay hydrated!!

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ?

The weekend ends quicker than Seungcheol even notices and while he wakes up Monday morning already thinking about you and your show later in the evening; his face falters when he reads the message on your cam homepage.

‘Sorry everyone :( I think I caught a cold so I won’t be doing a show tonight… I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday! In the meantime, I’ve uploaded some new pics in our members only room~ I hope it’ll tide you all over ‘til then! xx Cherry 🍒 ’

His first reaction is to immediately panic; reaching for his phone and texting you to get as much rest and sleep as possible. He makes a mental note to check in with you again later, finding that he’s already running late to get to work when he gets out of bed.

“Hey! Seungcheol-hyung!”

The said male turns around, placing the set of roller skates on the ground. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Jeongguk sits next to him on the wooden bench, legs stretched out as he passes Seungcheol an energy drink. “Nothin’, just wanted to say thanks for coming over on Saturday! We should try to do that again, except maybe we can go out for drinks or something? We can give it the good ‘ol college try, maybe bring home a girl, if you know what I mean~” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows at Seungcheol who rolls his eyes.

“Uh, I’m down for the drinking part but I think I’ll have to pass on the hookups.”

“Really? Why? Are you dating someone and you haven’t told me?”

Seungcheol thanks the gods that the roller rink is dimmed; neon lights and disco balls the only things keeping the entire place dimly lit when he blushes a deep crimson, face hot as he avoids the younger male’s gaze. “Nah, it’s just, I--I don’t think that’s really for me. I’m more of a, uh, relationship type of guy, y’know?” Also, I’m devoting my time and energy to someone already who isn’t really my girlfriend.

“Mm, makes sense!”

Jeongguk keeps Seungcheol company even on his break, the two chatting about various topics before he lets Seungcheol know his break is almost over.

“Hey, wait! Before you go…” Seungcheol is nervous for some reason, fingers gripping the suede of the rollerskate’s boot as he avoids eye contact again. “Um, this is gonna sound really weird but… Who’s ‘j__min’? I feel like I’ve seen that username before and it’s, uh, I’m just curious how you know them? Sorry if that’s weird, I just--I’ve been seeing them around pretty often.”

“Oh, that’s Jimin-hyung. He’s a friend of mine that games with me sometimes! I’ve never really met the dude in person before, but he seems nice.” Jeongguk nods, staring off into space. “He seems really busy all the time too. And he’s super active on social media, that’s probably where you’ve seen him.”

Seungcheol nods; the guy didn’t seem like any sort of immediate threat so he logs the information mentally for now. He’d just have to do some internet sleuthing himself when he got home.

“Oh, cool, okay! Thanks ‘Guk!”

Seungcheol groans after the seventh pair of skates he’s cleaned, standing up to stretch and reach for his phone in his pocket. He checks the notifications, noting that you hadn’t texted back or read his messages yet.

A frown paints his features knowing that you were sick, but he makes another mental note to finally buy you that sybian now that his most recent paycheck had come in with it’s overtime bonuses. There were only a few more days until Namjoon came back which meant his extra pays would be over, a sad sigh escaping his lips at the thought.

The day gruels on; Mondays were always the slowest days for the roller rink which meant Seungcheol spent most of the time cleaning skates and bumming snacks from the concession stand usually. He tries to not pry deeper into Jeongguk’s friends but the curiosity eats him alive so he makes an effort to stay away from the younger male for the rest of the day, this time.

Instead, he spends the day hiding in the employee break room any time he gets; only leaving when Yoongi decides to hide in there himself.

Your head feels like it’s going to spin off of your shoulders once you sit up in bed. The sun sits low in the horizon from what you can see through your bedroom window; noting that it must’ve been the late afternoon already.

You’d woken up with chills, head fuzzy when you’d sat up earlier in the morning. Knowing that you were at least somewhat sick, you quickly wrote up a little memo on your homepage letting your viewers know that there wouldn’t be a show later in the evening. Afterwards, you had quickly downed medicine before curling up under your sheets and going back to sleep. You’d vaguely been aware of your phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed, but you prioritized sleeping instead, knowing that you had to get better before the weekend came.

You groan once you ease yourself off of your bed, dragging your feet as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes of a warm bath to make yourself feel better.

It’s almost 5PM which means it’s almost time for Seungcheol to finally go home. He checks his phone one more time before he pockets the device, putting away the last few pairs of rollerskates before he starts making his way towards the backroom.

“Hey! ‘Cheol-hyung, can you come over here!?” Jeongguk yells over the music, arms waving him down frantically before he clocks out.

Seungcheol walks over, noting an unknown male standing with him. “Yes? Did you need help?”

“This guy, sorry I forgot your name?” The male laughs, eyes forming crescents when he smiles brightly at Jeongguk. “It’s Seokmin.”

“Right, right. Seokmin is asking if we’re hiring?” Jeongguk ends with a head tilt, unsure of the answer himself.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. Technically yes, they were understaffed even with Namjoon around. But Namjoon was also technically the one in charge of overseeing hiring positions. And while they technically should’ve hired more staff, that also meant Seungcheol’s overtime bonuses would be cut anytime they actually had the appropriate amount of staff.

“Uhhhh… I--I don’t think so? I’m not the one in charge. Our manager that decides staff and hiring positions is out of town indefinitely so…” Seungcheol trails off, hoping Seokmin gets the hint.

“Ahh… Should I come back another time then?” Seungcheol nods, frowning slightly. “Sorry ‘bout that man. But hey, why don’t you leave your contact info so we can call you? So you don’t have to keep coming back.”

Seokmin nods, beaming at the older male.

“Sure, that’d be great! Thanks!”

Seungcheol only feels slightly bad when he gets home that night, praying karma doesn’t kick his ass later for lying.

On days when you cancel your show are the days Seungcheol realizes he needs more hobbies than watching your cam shows and gaming all night.

Not that it’s a bad thing, he thinks, just that he could supplement his life with more.

He places an order for a few cookbooks alongside the order for the sybian, soft chuckles spilling from his lips when he realizes what an odd array of things he’s ordered.

Seungcheol manages to fill his night with meaningless tasks; finally cleaning his PC and settling in to watch a movie while he polishes off an entire pizza. He checks his phone a few more times, noting no new messages and he wonders if you’re really okay. A lightbulb goes off in his head, power walking back to his PC as he opens a new browser.

He bites his lip, typing in ‘j__min’ in the search bar to see what comes up. By nature, the username is unfortunately a lot more common than he anticipates and he ends up rifling through a lot of dead ends before he comes upon the profile on the same camming website you used and an instagram that seemed to be updated fairly regularly.

“Let’s see…”

Your body feels hot all over. Pin pricks on your fingertips as a bead of sweat trickles down your temple.

Now, you didn’t feel sick, you just felt incredibly insatiable. Again.

You weren’t sure if it was because your body had adjusted to a certain schedule, but you can’t help the way you toss and turn in bed; thighs rubbing together in hopes of alleviating the growing wetness between them.

Checking the clock, you note it’s already 10PM, close to when you’d normally be doing your show. You sigh, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. You immediately notice a few text messages from Seungcheol; frowning when you notice the text messages were from the morning.

cheollie ✨: hey, baby :( saw your note, i hope you’re okay.

cheollie ✨: make sure to drink a lot of water and take medicine!

cheollie ✨: don’t push yourself too hard either okay?

The messages end there and you pout, unsure what to even say now that it had been hours since he’d texted.

babygirl 🍒 : cheollie… i only saw ur msgs now 🥺

babygirl 🍒 : im sorryyyyy i was sleeping so long but i feel better now!!

Seungcheol closes all his browser tabs before he realizes it, a smile on his face when he sees you’ve responded.

‘That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay and feeling better. Promise me you drank tons of water?’

He feels giddy, palms sweaty as he grips his phone.

babygirl: mmhmm! i did… i don’t even feel sick anymore 🥺 but…

babygirl: dunno… i’m feeling needy again… i think my body is used to my usual schedule...

Seungcheol’s body thrums with newfound energy and arousal at your leading comments. He’s unsure of what to say next, fearing he was going to say too much. But his phone pings again, eyes quickly flitting over your messages.

babygirl 🍒 : if ur busy its okay but

babygirl 🍒 : do u think we could cam? just u and me?

babygirl 🍒 : only if ur free tho!!

His fingers are tingling when he sends his reply, making it short and sweet before he places his phone down and makes sure his PC is running smoothly.

‘Of course, you know I’m always here when you need me. :)’

It takes a few minutes for you and Seungcheol to set up your respective spaces and in the meantime, you grab your laptop, propping it open on the bed next to you as you lay in front of it. You had debated on using your better camera which you used for camming, but you didn’t want it to be set up like a cam show.

Instead, you wanted a more intimate and casual video call with Seungcheol, so you made sure your webcam worked fine as you placed it on the sheets.

‘Video Call Incoming…’

You can’t help the blush that coats your skin nor the lust that fills your body as soon as you accept his call; his somewhat blurry figure coming into view.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Seungcheol beams at you through the grainy camera and you already feel yourself clenching around emptiness, words caught in your throat at how handsome he was and how truly enticing his voice was. “H-hi!” Rubbing your thighs together, you peer at the camera shyly. “I--wow, the pictures really… You’re so much more handsome on v-video.” You giggle slightly, leaning in closer to your laptop to get a better view of the silvery-blue haired male.

Seungcheol’s deep laugh filters through the speakers and your toes curl against the sheets.

“You should see me in person, maybe I’ll look even better then.”

You don’t deny that one bit; your own hands already itching to touch yourself. “Oh? Is that an invitation~?”

Seungcheol’s eyes pierce the camera, licking his own lips as you watch him snake a hand down into his sweats.

“If you want it to be, sweetheart. But tell me about you, how are you feeling? Have you eaten already?”

Gulping, you watch as his hand seems to work slowly and out of view. “I--um, I feel b-better just… Dunno, guess my body’s just used to, um, y’know… A-and I haven’t really had much of an appetite...” You trail off, head still fuzzy from the cold medicines and now, Seungcheol.

In a roundabout way, it almost feels like you’re watching him do a show for you as you watch him slowly get off.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby. But you know you should try to eat, okay? I don’t want you to get even sicker.” You nod, fingertips already at the edge of your sleep shorts.

“I--c-can I touch myself too?” Seungcheol laughs lightly, nodding as he tilts his head back. “Of course, you don’t need to ask me for permission, baby.”

You grin at him, sitting up as you reposition the laptop. Your hand slides underneath a pillow, grabbing the small bullet vibrator you kept there. “Do you always keep a toy handy?” His voice is airy, teasing in the way he asks.

“Mmhmm~ You never know when you’ll need it~” You sing-song, shimmying your sleep shorts and panties off before you spread your legs in front of the camera.

The air gets knocked out of Seungcheol the second you spread your legs for him and him alone and he can’t help but imagine all the things he wanted to do with you. He watches as you tease yourself, fingertips only grazing across the areas he knew you wanted to be touched the most.

“I can’t wait for us to finally fuckin’ meet.” He grits out.

A moan floats through the speakers of Seungcheol’s gaming PC, your saccharine voice music to his ears. “M-me too, wanna know what you’d do to me~” You giggle afterwards, pressing the vibrator to your clit as you spread your legs wider for him to see. Seungcheol’s hand around his cock tightens as he watches, an appreciative smirk on his face.

“Oh sweetheart, what wouldn’t I do to you.” You can’t help but slide your fingers through your wet folds listening to Seungcheol’s voice, whimpering when you finally slide a finger in. “Yeah? What would be the first thing? Tell me, ‘Cheollie~”

Even through the webcam quality, you can see the way Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over in complete pleasure. He licks his lips once, leaning in close so that you can hear him clearly.

“I know you probably think I’d get straight to the filthy shit, huh? Pin you to your bed and fuck you until you forget your own name or tie you up to the bedposts and make you beg for me to fuck you. But I wouldn’t. Because I wanna worship your fuckin’ body. I’d take it nice and slow with you, give you as many orgasms as you want.”

“F-fuck, Seungcheol, I–”

“You could use me for your pleasure, y’know? You deserve it. You’re such a good girl. I’d give you anything you fuckin’ want if you’d let me.”

Your choked moans have Seungcheol working his cock faster; nothing on his mind except for you and his impending orgasm. “Oh g-god, Seungcheol, I--fuck, yes, I want that~ I want you to--to make me cum as many times as I w-want!” You mewl, easily working in another finger as you pump the digits inside your pussy.

He smirks when he sees your grip on the vibrator loosening, knowing that you were already too lost in the pleasure to keep the toy on. “And I’d let you. Maybe I’d make you cum on my tongue first. Or would you want my fingers?”

“B-both! Puh--please…” You whine, legs threatening to clamp shut. You curl and scissor your fingers, thrusting them knuckle deep inside yourself as you chase the pleasure that overtakes your senses. “Please, ‘Cheol, tell me more~”

You watch through the camera as Seungcheol pushes his sweats down enough to get his cock into view; mouth watering as you watch it curve up to his lower abdomen.

“I know how much you love being doted on and being taken care of… So after I make you cum all fuckin’ night, you know I’d take care of you. Make sure you’re comfortable and cuddle with you when you’re tired.” His hips cant up into his closed palm, a soft groan on his lips. “And then when we wake up, I’ll eat you out. Nice and slow so you know it’d be worth it.”

Seungcheol smirks, smearing the precum all over his shaft. “But I also know you like it rough and you like being punished like a bad girl. You like the idea of being tied up and teased and being fucked nice and hard too. I could take it nice and slow, build up the pleasure for you. Or I can take it nice and slow and tease you, I’d make you sit on my cock ‘n make you wait for it ‘til you’re begging me. Or maybe you would want an audience? Let them see you fall apart on my cock when you’re desperate to cum.”

You press the vibrator against your clit again, Seungcheol’s name falling out of your mouth in a blubbering mess. “Oh--I--!!”

Your legs clamp shut, fingers halting their movements as you cum hard around your fingers. Seungcheol watches as your legs shake, his own hand running up and down his cock in quick motions as he chases his high too. You vaguely hear him groaning your name; the ringing in your ears overbearing as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

The sound of your quick and shallow breaths mix with Seungcheol’s over the speakers as the two of you catch your breath. You slip your fingers from inside of you, wincing when you turn off the toy and toss it to the side.

“Fuck, baby, I--”

“Y-yeah…” You quietly lick your fingers clean, knowing that Seungcheol’s watching. “I… that was the first time I… did that with s-someone…” You giggle tiredly, wiping the rest of your sticky fingers on your shirt.

“Really? Never?” Seungcheol’s surprised expression makes you giggle; his eyes round and mouth wide open as he leans closer to his webcam.

“Mmhmm! Just, y’know, it’s--it’s hard to get close to people sometimes…”

You had mentioned it off-handedly once while the two of you had been texting, that most of the dates you’d been on hated the fact that you cammed. There was always a possessive aura that was present and while Seungcheol would sometimes get a little jealous himself, he also knew it was your livelihood and how you supported yourself.

“Ah, yeah, I can understand.”

The two of you sit in a content silence, Seungcheol reaching for a few tissues to clean off the drying cum on his abdomen.

“Hey, ‘Cheol?”

“Yeah?” He peers up at the camera through his lashes, blinking rapidly as he watches you lay back down in front of your laptop.

“About what you said… earlier…” You pause, shyness overtaking once again. “I--Would you want to meet up? Like, for real? I mean--not--not like tomorrow or something but... Y’know, we can start planning?”

Any words that come after that turn into radio static in Seungcheol’s head and he can feel his pupils shaking, nervousness already bubbling up inside of him at the prospect of actually finally maybe getting to meet you.

“Seungcheol? ‘Cheollie? You okay?”

Fuck.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah! I’m cool, I’m good, sorry, that--that caught me off guard.”

He watches as you talk animatedly, mind already going a mile a minute as he thinks over everything that needed to be done before then.

“I’m really excited to meet you, ‘Cheollie!”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #scoups scenarios #seungcheol scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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barkkletshunt · 3 years

Text

Those Worth Fighting For Part seven

Part one Part two

Part three Part four

Part five Part six

Part Seven (You’re here) Part eight

Taglist:

@ladybug-182 @fruit-snacc-ace @miraculous-simmer7 @lavenderjunes

@use-flamethrower @fan-written @all-mights-asscheeks @birdie-posts

Sorry if the tags aren’t working, I tried and I’m not sure where I went wrong with it?

If I have time the next part will come out with some art! Don’t expect the art to be any good though lol

“So then, I go to the window and there is Adrien on Kagami’s front lawn with a big sign that says prom on it, and by the way neither of us knew he was going to be in France at all. It was a total surprise. So I’m so shocked my mind completely blanks out and I shout down to him that yes, I’ll go to prom with him. He yells back ‘tall Kagami’ and I turn around and just ‘your boyfriend just asked to go to prom with me.’ Without skipping a beat she leans out of the window and tells him he’s too late, she already asked me.” Marinette laughed, wiping a stray tear from her eye that began to form from how hard she was trying to not burst into a fit of giggles until the story ended. “In the end the three of us went to prom together.”

The four around the table shook their heads. “Mari, dude, if you can’t get through that story without laughing how are you supposed to do your toast?”

“I’ll just practice it a lot until it’s no longer funny to me, simple. I’m not even going to worry about it anymore.” The blue haired girl shrugged. When she was younger she would have worried about that, but she was long since past that. At least, she hoped she was. She had done enough interviews with Alya in her teen years, and then enough speeches as Ladybug to fill her with a confidence she lacked as a teen. She was nervous, but instead of the all consuming nervousness that would make her fumble and trip over her words it was now an excited nervousness. She was excited about it.

“I think you’ll do fine,” Felix winked at her, his face never changing from the impartial look he had on since he came into the restaurant.

They all had made their way back to the same place after the amok, even if Felix was late once again. The blond had made his excuses of needing to take care of some errands that he had forgotten, but it hadn’t mattered much to any of them. Marinette had saved a seat next to her for him and he was more than happy to take it.

“Why not talk about the moment you realized those two were perfect for each other?” Nathaniel asked, playing with the straw in his drink. “I know you have a million stories about that.”

“Something like Adrien saving Kagami from a bully, or a dance of just the two of them where they lock eyes and suddenly the whole room disappears?” Marc hummed, their author brain going into overdrive at the thought of romance. “Maybe you saw him protect her against an akuma or amok?”

Marinette thought for a moment. What was it that made her realize that they belonged together? After all those years fawning over Adrien, it was Kagami’s love for him that made her step down, but what was the exact moment?

“It was at Chloe’s fifteenth birthday party.” Marinette started, recalling the time before Hawkmoth had lost and her world began to fall apart and fix itself simultaneously. “Adrien’s dad thought it would be a good idea for Kagami to go with him and keep an eye on his son, and they started the evening miserable because the paparazzi outside the hotel told them that they always looked so perfect that it made sense that they would be perfect together. I only got to spend a few minutes with them before being pulled away by Chloe, but when I went to find them and bring them some hot chocolate they were on the roof ruffling each other's hair and talking about anime, and goofing around like I hadn’t seen either of them do before.”

“They saw that the other understood their background and chose to help break out of that image with each other and just be kids.” Felix’s words surprised her, but he understood exactly what had happened.

“They were so embarrassed when they saw me that I challenged them both to hot chocolate drinking contests to ease the awkwardness. They didn’t even realize I didn’t have one for myself before chugging theirs and burning their mouths at the same time.” Her two messy friends meant the world to her, and she knew no one would understand them like they understood each other. Both of them had strict parents that would only let them escape and be kids when they were with the other, and they took those opportunities and made every moment count. They were what each other needed, and then when they got their freedoms they were still the ones they chose. “I think that’s also when they stopped acting perfect in front of me. Adrien really started to bug me to watch anime so he could talk about it with someone other than his girlfriend, and Kagami soon demanded to be my dress up doll because she never got to do that growing up. They became my best friends and honestly, I think I’m better for it too.”

“How romantic.” Marc swooned, leaning against Nathaniel who caught his significant other with a laugh. “Childhood friends, to rivals, to lovers. 50K slowburn.”

“Once there was an akuma trying to hurt Adrien and Kagami picked up the nearest weapon she could find and just went at ‘em and I have never seen Adrien’s face light up like that. The boy just wants to be loved and protected.” Nino joined in. “Alya and I were shocked, we both had our money on Adrien ending up with someone else, but we’re both happy about it. Speaking of which, I gotta update her on what’s going on here. She’ll flip.”

Felix shifted in his seat, catching Marinette’s eye as Nathaniel and Marc continued talking about Kagami and Adrien’s relationship. He wasn’t there for all those moments, he wasn’t a long term friend of everyone so he didn’t know Alya or Chloe and she wouldn’t doubt it if he had felt out of place in the conversation.

“Pst,” she scooted herself over, getting closer to him and leaning over to whisper at him. “You look nice today.”

Felix blinked in surprise. Within seconds his face was growing warm and he used his hand to cover the lower half of his face as inconspicuously as possible. “Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to say that, Miss. Dupain-Cheng?”

“I’m afraid I beat you to it, Mr. Graham De Vanily.” She whispered back. “But it’s okay, you might get me next time.”

How long had it been since she was able to flirt with someone without losing herself in the what-if’s and teenaged anxiety that had plagued her? How had one battle fighting side by side with Ryuko, Alley Cat, and the others given her so much confidence that she hadn’t had even during the fight itself? Was it that damned cat’s words? He had unknowingly complimented her to her face and she was still beaming with pride over being called brilliant. Being complimented on her looks was nice, but the way he had complimented her on her mind was something else. She supposed that was what did it, after all. Being told that she was great because of who she was and not because of how she looked filled her with a pride she didn’t even want to describe lest it dampened the feeling inside her chest.

“Well then, until next time, you look wonderful. You’re outfit choice is on point, as always.” His comment hit straight to her heart. There it was again. A comment on something she chose being good. “And although you are trying to start a fire with my face, I am enjoying this time with you away from colour pallets and order forms. I like seeing this other side of you, Marinette.”

“I’d like to say the same thing, but it has come to my attention that you seem to only wear suits, Felix. This is the same side of you I always see.” She couldn’t help her grin. There was a strange formal banter between them that she found exhilarating. In it’s own way it made her feel like part of the aristocratic world that he and Adrian and Kagami belonged to, without having to deal with the fakeness that the latter two often complained about. “Dare I say, I don’t believe you own anything that isn’t a suit.”

“I’d hate to inform you of this, but you’re incorrect on that front.” Felix moved the hand that was covering his face to let himself rest his chin upon it. “I do, and I’d prefer it if you don’t go to the press with this, own a few sets of pajamas.”

“And are they silk and made to look like a suit?” She asked, now leaning against him to softly poke at his arm. “I bet you had them custom made so that you would never appear unprofessional.”

“Well, well, aren’t you curious to see my pajamas? Shame you won’t get to see them until our fourth date.” Felix leaned his head against hers, and her heart began to race.

“So, are you two actually a thing?” Nino’s voice broke them out of their moment. Marinette and Felix realized how it must have looked to the others and immediately sat straight in their seats.

Nathaniel elbowed Nino in the ribs. “Dude!”

“What? I’m just trying to clear things up for my daily Alya report.” Nino tried to defend himself from the onslaught of hands trying to hit him from Marc and Nathaniel. “It gets complicated sometimes and you know my girl won’t let anything rest until she has all the info!”

“If Miss. Dupain-Cheng would like to, as you put it, actually be a thing, then I would be honoured to.” He said it so simply that Marinette wasn’t sure why she had hesitated before. He did like her.

“Only if you wear your pajamas to our next late night planning session.” Marinette wasn’t willing to let the pajamas slide. “I have to see you out of a suit before we get all lovey dovey. It’s a rule.”

“Did you make that rule just for me?”

“Of course.”

“Well, don’t I feel special.” Felix thought to himself, making a bit of a show of it as he tossed his head side to hide. His braid that previously rested on his shoulder now swinging back and forth behind him, looking like a cat's tail as it got ready to play. “I think I have room to negotiate here, so if I may I am going to put the added condition that you must also wear your pajamas.”

“I don’t think this is supposed to be a business transaction, dude,” Nino tried, but Marinette held her hand up. She could negotiate.

“I’ll accept those terms on the condition that you buy coffee, and we get to watch a movie together with some popcorn.” Marinette raised her brow, daring Felix to try to get a better deal out of her.

“If I am purchasing coffee, popcorn, and a movie, then I will push for some baked goods from your parents bakery.” Felix held out his hand. “Well?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Graham De Vanily, but I accept your terms.” Marinette took his hand and shook it. That was the most fun she had ever had while figuring out plans for a date, and she knew she’d have more fun watching the movie with Felix than she just did. “A movie date in our pajamas with snacks it is.”

“I’ll pick you up friday night at eight?”

“I can’t wait to see your suit pajamas.”

“I bet you have frills on yours.”

“And you don’t?”

#felix x marinette #felinette #fanon felix #felix graham de vanily #Marinette #marinette dupain cheng #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #Nino lahiffe #adrigami #adrien x kagami #Those worth fighting for #twff

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felassan · 4 years

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Insights into DAI’s development from Blood, Sweat, and Pixels

The book is by game industry journalist Jason Schreier (it’s an interesting read and well-written, I recommend it). This is the cliff notes version of the DAI chapter. This info isn’t new as the book is from 2017 (I finally got around to buying it). Some insight into DAO, DA2 and cancelled DA projects is also given. Cut for length.

BW hoped that DA would become the LotR of video games. DAO’s development was “a hellish seven-year slog”

The DAI team are compared to a chaotic “pirate ship”, which is what they called themselves internally. “It’ll get where it needs to go, but it’s going to go all over the place. Sail over here. Drink some rum. Go over here. Do something else. That’s how Mark Darrah likes to run his team.” An alternative take from someone else who worked on the game: “It was compared to a pirate ship because it was chaotic and the loudest voice in the room usually set the direction. I think they smartly adopted the name and morphed it into something better.”

A game about the Inquisition and the large-scale political conflicts it solves across Thedas, where the PC was the Inquisitor, was originally the vision for ‘DA2′. Plans had to change when SW:TOR’s development kept stalling and slipping. Frustrated EA execs wanted a new product from BW to bolster quarterly sales targets, and decided that DA would have to fill the gap. BW agreed to deliver DA2 within 16 months. “Basically, DA2 exists to fill that hole. That was the inception. It was always intended to be a game made to fit in that”

BW wanted to call it DA: Exodus, but EA’s marketing execs insisted on DA2, no matter what that name implied

DAO’s scope (Origin stories, that amount of big areas, variables, reactivity) was just not doable in a year, even if everyone worked overtime. To solve this problem, BW shelved the Inquisition idea and made a risky call: DA2 would be set in one city over time, allowing locations to be recycled and months to be shaved off dev time. They also axed DAO features like customizing party members’ equipment. These were the best calls they were able to make on a tight line

Many at BW are still proud of DA2. Those that worked on it grew closer from all being in it together

In certain dark accounting corners of EA, despite fan response to DA2 and its lower sales compared to DAO, DA2 is considered a wild success

By summer 2011 BW decided to cancel DA2′s expansion Exalted March in favor of a totally new game. They needed to get away from the stigma of DA2, reboot the franchise and show they could make triple-A quality good games.

DAI was going to be the most ambitious game BW had ever made and had a lot to prove (that BW could return to form, that EA wasn’t crippling the studio, that BW could make an ‘open-world’ RPG with big environments). There was a bit of a tone around the industry that there were essentially 2 tiers of BW, the ME team and then everyone else, and the DA team had a scrappy desire to fight back against that

DAI was behind schedule early on due to unfamiliar new technology; the new engine Frostbite was very technically challenging and required more work than anyone had expected. Even before finishing DA2 BW were looking for a new engine for the next game. Eclipse was creaky, obsolete, not fully-featured, graphically lacking. The ME team used Unreal, which made inter-team collab difficult. “Our tech strategy was just a mess. Every time we’d start a new game, people would say, ‘Oh, we should just pick a new engine’.”

After meeting with an EA exec BW decided on Frostbite. Nobody had ever used it to make an RPG, but EA owned FB dev studio DICE, and the engine was powerful and had good graphic capabilities & visual effects. If BW started making all its games on FB, it could share tech with sister studios and borrow tools when they learned cool new tricks.

For a while they worked on a prototype called Blackfoot, to get a feel for FB and to make a free-to-play DA MP game. It fizzled as the team was too small, which doesn’t lend itself well to working with FB, and was cancelled

BW resurfaced the old Inquisition idea. What might a DA3 look like on FB? Their plan by 2012 was to make an open-world RPG heavily inspired by Skyrim that hit all the beats DA2 couldn’t. “My secret mission was to shock and awe the players with the massive amounts of content.” People complained there wasn’t enough in DA2. “At the end of DAI, I actually want people to go, ‘Oh god, not [another] level’.”

It was originally called Dragon Age 3: Inquisition

BW wanted to launch on next-gen consoles only but EA’s profit forecasters were caught up in the rise of iPad and iPhone gaming and were worried the next-gen consoles wouldn’t sell well. As a safeguard EA insist it also ship on current-gen. Most games at that time followed this strategy. Shipping on 5 platforms at once would be a first for BW

Ambitions were piling up. This was to be BW’s first 3D open-world game, and their first game on Frostbite, an engine that had never been used to make RPGs. It needed to be made in roughly two years, it needed to ship on 5 platforms, and, oh yeah, it needed to restore the reputation of a studio that had been beaten up pretty badly. “Basically we had to do new consoles, a new engine, new gameplay, build the hugest game that we’ve ever made, and build it to a higher standard than we ever did. With tools that don’t exist.”

FB didn’t have RPG stats, a visible PC, spells, save systems, a party of 4 people, the same kind of cutscenes etc and couldn’t create any of those things. BW had to create these on top of it. BW initially underestimated how much work this would be. BW were the FB guinea pigs. Early on in DAI��s development, even the most basic tasks were excruciating, and this impacted even fundamental aspects of game design and dev. When FB’s tools did function they were finicky and difficult. DICE’s team supported them but had limited resources and were 8 hours ahead. Since creating new content in FB was so difficult, trying to evaluate its quality became impossible. FB engine updates made things even more challenging. After every one, BW had to manually merge and test it; this was debilitating, and there were times when the build didn’t work for a month or was really unstable.

Meanwhile the art department were having a blast. FB was great for big beautiful environments. For months they made as much as possible, taking educated guesses when they didn’t know yet what the designers needed. “For a long time there was a joke on the project that we’d made a fantastic-looking screenshot generator, because you could walk around these levels with nothing to do. You could take great pictures.”

The concept of DAI as open-world was stymying the story/writers and gameplay/designers teams. What were players going to do in these big landscapes? How could BW ensure exploring remained fun after many hours? Their teams didn’t have time for system designers to envision, iterate and test a good “core gameplay loop” (quests, encounters, activities etc). FB wouldn’t allow it. Designers couldn’t test new ideas or answer questions because basic features were missing or didn’t exist yet.

EA’s CEO told BW they should have the ability to ride dragons and that this would make DAI sell 10 million copies. BW didn’t take this idea very seriously

BW had an abstract idea that the player would roam the world solving problems and building up power or influence they could use. But how would that look/work like in-game? This could have used refinement and testing but instead they decided to build some levels and hope they could figure it out as they went.

One day in late 2012, after a year of strained development on DAI, Mark Darrah asked Mike Laidlaw to go to lunch. “We’re walking out to his car,” Laidlaw said, “and I think he might have had a bit of a script in his head. [Darrah] said, ‘All right, I don’t actually know how to approach this, so I’m just going to say it. On a scale of one to apocalyptic... how upset would you be if I said [the player] could be, I dunno, a Qunari Inquisitor?’”

Laidlaw was baffled. They’d decided that the player could be only a human in DAI. Adding other playable races like Darrah was asking for would mean they’d need to quadruple their budget for animation, voice acting, and scripting.

“I went, ‘I think we could make that work’,” Laidlaw said, asking Darrah if he could have more budget for dialogue.

Darrah answered that if Laidlaw could make playable races happen, he couldn’t just have more dialogue. He could have an entire year of production.

Laidlaw was thrilled. “Fuck yeah, OK,” he recalled saying.

MD had actually already realized at this point it’d be impossible to finish DAI in 2013. They needed at least a year’s delay and adding the other playable races was part of a plan/planned pitch to secure this. He was in the process of putting together a pitch to EA: let BW delay the game, and in exchange it’d be bigger and better that anyone at EA had envisioned. These new marketing points included playable races, mounts and a new tactical camera. If EA wouldn’t let them delay, they would have had to cut things. Going into that BW were confident but nervous, especially in the wake of EA’s recent turmoil where they’d just parted ways with their CEO and had recruited a new board member while they hunted for a new one. They didn’t know how the new board member would react, and the delay would affect EA’s projections for that fiscal year. Maybe it was the convincing pitch, or the exec turmoil, or the specter of DA2, or maybe EA didn’t like being called “The Worst Company in America”. Winning that award 2 years in a row had had a tangible impact on the execs and led to feisty internal meetings on how to repair EA’s image. Whatever the reasons, EA greenlit the delay.

The PAX Crestwood demo was beautiful but almost entirely fake. By fall 2013, BW had implemented many of FB’s ‘parts’, but still didn’t know what kind of ‘car’ they were making. ML and team scripted the PAX demo by hand, entirely based on what BW thought would be in the game. The level & art assets were real but the gameplay wasn’t. “Part of what we had to do is go out early and try to be transparent because of DA2. And just say, ‘Look, here, it’s the game, it’s running live, it’s at PAX.’ Because we wanted to make that statement that we’re here for fans.”

DA2 hung on the team like a shadow. There was insecurity, uncertainty, they had trouble sticking to one vision. Which DA2 things were due to the short dev time and which were bad calls? What stuff should they reinvent? There were debates over combat (DAO-style vs DA2-style) and arguments over how to populate the wilderness.

In the months after that demo, BW cut much of what they’d shown in it. Even small features went through many permutations. DAI had no proper preproduction phase (important for testing and discarding things), so leads were stretched thin and had to make impulsive decisions.

By the end of 2013, DAI had 200+ people working on it, and dozens of additional outsourced artists in Russia and China. Coordinating all the work across various departments was challenging and a full-time job for several people. At this sheer scale of game dev, there are many complexities and inter-dependencies. Work finally became significantly less tedious and more doable when BW and DICE added more features to FB. Time was running out though, and another delay was a no.

The team spent many hours in November and December piecing together a “narrative playable” version of the game to be the holiday period’s game build for BW staff to test that year. Feedback on the demo was bad. There were big complaints on story, that it didn’t make sense and was illogical. Originally the PC became Inquisitor and sealed the breach in the prologue, which removed a sense of urgency. In response the writers embarked on Operation Sledgehammer (breaking a bone to set it right), radically revising the entire first act.

The other big piece of negative feedback was that battles weren’t fun. Daniel Kading, who had recently joined BW and brought with him a rigorous new method for testing combat in games, went to BW leadership with a proposal: give him authority to open his own little lab with the other designers and call up the entire team for mandatory play sessions for test purposes. They agreed and he used this experiment to get test feedback and specifically pinpoint where problems were. Morale took a turn for the better that week, DK’s team made several tweaks, and through these sessions feedback ratings went from 1.2 to 8.8 four weeks later.

Many on the team wished they didn’t have to ship for old consoles (clunky, less powerful). BW leadership decided not to add features to the next-gen versions that wouldn’t be possible on the older ones, so that both versions of the game played the same. This limited things and meant the team had to find creative solutions. “I probably should’ve tried harder to kill [the last-gen] version of the game”, said Aaryn Flynn. In the end the next-gen consoles sold very well and only 10% of DAI sales were on last-gen.

“A lot of what we do is well-intentioned fakery,” said Patrick Weekes, pointing to a late quest called “Here Lies The Abyss”. “When you assault the fortress, you have a big cut scene that has a lot of Inquisition soldiers and a lot of Grey Wardens on the walls. And then anyone paying attention or looking for it as you’re fighting through the fortress will go, ‘Wow, I’m only actually fighting three to four guys at a time.’ Because in order for that to work [on old gen], you couldn’t have too many different character types on screen.”

Parts of DAI were still way behind schedule because it was so big and complex, and because some tools hadn’t started functioning until late on. Some basic features weren’t able to be implemented til the last minute (they were 8 months from ship before they could get all party members in the squad. At one point PW was playtesting to check if Iron Bull’s banter was firing, and realized there was no way to even recruit IB) and some flaws couldn’t be identified til the last few months. Trying to determine flow and pacing was rough.

They couldn’t disappoint fans again. They needed to take the time to revise and polish every aspect of DAI. “I think DAI is a direct response to DA2,” said Cameron Lee. “DAI was bigger than it needed to be. It had everything but the kitchen sink in it, to the point that we went too far... I think that having to deal with DA2 and the negative feedback we got on some parts of that was driving the team to want to put everything in and try to address every little problem or perceived problem.”

At this point they had 2 options: settle for an incomplete game, which would disappoint fans especially post-DA2, or crunch. They opted to crunch. It was the worst period of extended overtime in DAI’s development yet and was really rough: late nights, weekends, lost family time, 12-14 hour days, stress, mental health impacts.

During 2014′s crunch, they finally finished off features they wished they’d nailed down in year 1. They completed the Power (influence) system and added side quests, hidden treasures and puzzles. Things that weren’t working like destructible environments were promptly removed. The writers rewrote the prologue at least 6 times, but didn’t have enough time to pay such attention to the ending. Just a few months before launch pivotal features like jumping were added.

By summer BW had bumped back release by another 6 weeks for polish. DAI had about 99,000 bugs in it (qualitative and quantitative; things like “I was bored here” are a bug). “The number of bugs on an open-world game, I’ve never seen anything like it. But they’re all so easy to fix, so keep filing these bugs and we’ll keep fixing them.” For BW it was harder to discover them, and the QA team had to do creative experimentation and spend endless late nights testing things. PW would take builds home to let their 9 year old son play around. Their son was obsessed with mounting and dismounting the horse and accidentally discovered a bug where if you dismounted in the wrong place, all your companions’ gear would vanish. “It was because my son liked the horse so much more than anyone else ever had or will ever like the horse.”

MD had a knack for prioritizing which bugs should be fixed, like the one where you could get to inaccessible areas by jumping on Varric’s head. “Muscle memory is incredibly influential at this point. Through the hellfire which is game development, we’re forged into a unit, in that we know what everyone’s thinking and we understand everyone’s expectations.”

At launch they still didn’t have all their tools working, they only had their tools working enough.

DAI became the best-selling DA game, beating EA’s sales expectations in just a few weeks. If you look closely you can see the lingering remnants of its chaotic development, like the “garbage quests” in the Hinterlands. Some players didn’t realize they could leave the area and others got caught in a “weird, compulsive gratification loop”. Internet commentators rushed to blame “those damn lazy devs” but really, these were the natural consequences of DAI’s struggles. Maybe things would have been different if they’d miraculously received another year of dev time, or if they’d had years before starting development to build FB’s tools first.

“The challenge of the Hinterlands and what it represented to the opening 10 hours of DAI is exactly the struggle of learning to build open-world gameplay and mechanisms when you are a linear narrative story studio,” said Aaryn Flynn.

“DA2 was the product of a remarkable time-line challenge,” said Mike Laidlaw, “DAI was the product of a remarkable technical challenge. But it had enough time to cook, and as a result it was a much better game.”

Read the chapter for full details of course!

#dragon age #bioware #video games #SW:TOR #mass effect #I've seen plenty of this info discussed in articles/thinkpieces and on online communities over the years #but it's nice to read it first hand #some very insightful stuff here #these behind the scenes looks are very valuble #a lot of DAI's elements make sense given the context and what was going on in the background and the tech challenges they faced etc #be kind and respectful to devs folks they're human beings #also in general this book is really interesting and easy to read #funny in places too #it has lots of other chapters on lots of other games including Stardew Valley #I def recc buying it #anyway hope this post is useful/interesting to someone!#oh and as always support good treatment of game devs #crunch culture in the industry is harmful and exploitative

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sag-dab-sar · 3 years

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Evil Speech Stand Aside: Ancient Mesopotamian Ishib Magic for the Modern Magician

by Vanessa Kindell

[This has been heavily updated to reflect my opinion that this book shouldn't be used at all]

This is what the book claims to be:

A modern Sumerian Reconstructionism, an Ishib is one who has decided to take their practice to a more engaged level. This book is an attempt at reconstructing the practices of the ancient Ishib while making room for practices and structure adapted to the modern world. By working through this course, you will learn the art of ritual purification, exorcism, traditional methods of healing, ancestor communication and worship, incantations, perpetration and care of an altar to the gods, as well as rituals and practices you can use to further your connection with the gods, the spirits and take on the role of a spiritual leader for your community.

The book has pointed to some interesting ways I could use the ETCSL. The bibliography has a few books I now want to get access to. If you can trust that her non-ETCSL incantations are actually true to their sources they can be useful additions. I'd be wary if I couldn't check them, its good that she at least provides the source so I could attempt to go find it.

I want people to know this is not Sumerian/Mesopotamian reconstructionism or revivalism; that much of it is historically inaccurate. Its more like Mesopotamian Neo-Paganism and then Occult rituals with Mesopotamian decorations. A big problem is Melam, humans do not have it but I get to that later in my post.

The book has an appendix of Crowly's rituals in the back and I am solidly anti-Crowly, his inclusion is unnecessary and unwarranted

🔷 Basic Look at the Book🔷

Not reconstructionism, extremely short— way too short to warrant the above description, and honestly even if it was accurate I feel like it was written in a way that should have more detailed instructions.

The practices combine ancient Mesopotamian sources with modern magical practices to create a comprehensive course for the aspiring Ishib. Ancient sources are used when practical, with special preference given to those of the Sumerians, and have been adapted where not, informed by modern magical practices.

..... Mixing Mesopotamian with established modern magical traditions means its not reconstructionism. Adapting the Sumerian practices where there is no info by coming to a logical conclusion of what might have been there based on analysis of other Sumerian traditions and trends is reconstructionism. There are some things that simply cannot be recon-ed of course, like divination, but in general blank spots should be filled with analytics conclusions or adaptations of other Mesopotamia/ANE traditions.

The WORST part of this, is that things she uses in-text citations for and things in her bibliography are the exact same sources I would use to debunk the book.

Ishib is a word not in the ePSD so I can't see it in context. She claims its a wizard priest. In Black's dictionary, which I'm sure she's getting her info from, Išib is "a priest specializing in purifying rituals". Which does not match all the rituals she puts in the book so she imo chose a word to make it seem more legit.

She uses Black's dictionary a lot but conveniently ignores it as well. Like saying idols are made of clay when the book clearly says they are made of wood and gold. She cites a book by Cunningham, in her bibliography not in-text, that has tons of purifying rituals. Many of them include reeds yet she never mentions reeds, despite their importance. She also never mentions Ningirim.... the goddess of incantations. Did she read any of the books she's referencing?

This book is essentially a bunch of incantations from different sources, taken out of context, and smashed together to form rituals— some sound good.

This book is 97 kindle pages minus bibliography. 5 pages are the opening pages and an overly detailed table of contents, 2 are the forward, 15 are pages that only contain a picture, and 17 are occult rituals. So only 58 pages are actually dedicated to writing about Sumerian Reconstructionism, that are supported to "help you take your practice to a more engaging level."

🔷Out of Context Incantations🔷

I know any reconstructed Mesopotamian rituals are going to be a mash up of different sources— but when I say out of context, I mean really out of context. She made up a ritual on unfounded ideas that we have to assist the dead. Yes, "made up" we have no reason to believe a ritual like this was preformed OR at the very least she didn't provide any proof. If there is proof feel free to share it with me (no thats not sarcasm). According to Kindell we must assist a dead soul through Kur, which is apparently the Netherworld, to Irkalla, which is apparently the City of The Dead.

Kur is the most common Sumerian word for netherworld/underworld while also being the word for mountain. Irkalla is a synonym for Ereškigal I wrote a whole post on that.

If anything the closest you can come to "City of the Dead" is probably Kutha, Nergal's Cult Center. However, the only place I can find Kutha being described as a city "within Irkalla" is Wikipedia which cites a source from 1902...thats a wee bit outdated compared to all the other sources for Irkalla I checked. Kutha also appears as a word in Ishtar's Decent but refers to the whole of the netherworld or to Ereškigal's palace; not a city of the dead.

ANYWAYS. Back to the ritual: we are required to help the dead travel through Kur to get to Irkalla by placating certain deities. One of them being Ereškigal. In her fancy incantation to Ereškigal she uses an excerpt from Inana's Descent

The mother who gave birth, Ereškigal, on account of her children, is lying there. Her holy shoulders are not covered by a linen cloth. Her breasts are not full like a šagan vessel. Her nails are like a pickaxe upon her. The hair on her head is bunched up as if it were leeks.

...... that is so wrong, so out of place, so utterly ridiculously out of context. On what planet would Ereškigal want that passage recited to her?

Her children are DEAD. She is described in an ugly way because she is mourning! There is no linen cloth because she does not need to clean or cuddle her newborn(s), her breasts are not full because her newborn(s) do not need milk. The creatures Enki sent to get Inana lament with her, and because they show her empathy by lamenting with her they gain her favor and she offers them gifts.

What part of this memory would make her listen to you?

Like I said it SOUNDS good. Sometimes. Other times its just painful because its so obviously a mash up.

🔹Word Definitions🔷

The beginning glossary prepped me to have low expectations. There are other words but these are the notes I took while reading

Abzu – The primordial freshwater ocean, understood in modern terms to be synonymous with the water-table but carrying additional ritual significance

No. Abzu is Enki's palace [Gods Demons and Spirits by Black]. The source of fresh water yes; but how are you going to say that it is the water table when Gods such as Enki, Damdalguna, Nammu, and Isimud live there? Also in some cases its connected to heaven via Tamarisk tree of An and/or a source of purifying reeds [Deliver Me From Evil by Cunningham]. Its also a word used for the pool of purified water in Temples.

Also I'd like to make note: she makes no differentiation between Sumerian and Akkadian words, even in a glossary.

he-am = so be it

Why did "so be it" have to be translated? Pray tell what Sumerian priests/magicians used "so be it" in their magic?

Igigi = A God in the Mesopotamian Pantheon

"Igigū or Igigi Is a term introduced in the Old Babylonian Period. As a name for the (ten) Great Gods. While it sometimes kept that sense in later periods. From Middle Babylonian times on it is generally used to refer the Gods of Heaven collectively, just as the term Anunnakū (Anuna) was later used to refer to the Gods of the Underworld. In the Epic of Creation it is said that there are 300 Igigū of Heaven" [Black]

So no. Igigi are a specific set of Gods not just "god". And what gods are in that group fluctuated. Even which Gods the Anunnakū were fluctuated since they originally included Heavenly Gods.

𒀭 "Diĝir" (Dingir) is the word for God.

She actually makes a foot note about this way later in the book justifying its usage and like.... why not just use the actual proper word?

Udug – A demon, unlike the common understanding of the concept, a demon is not necessarily evil

No, its a specific type of demon. Again, a book she cites literally specifies that it is a particular type of demon and not the word demon. Maškim (Akkadian rābisu) is closer to a translation of any demon in general. Its like saying lion translates to animal. This entry in the glossary ignores galla, lilū, etc.

I found this

"It is remarkable that despite the wealth of incantation literature which survives from Mesopotamia, almost no descriptions or depictions survive of the most common demon, the Udug/utukku demon1. Nevertheless, our intuitive assumption is that ancient magical experts and their patients all had a pretty clear notion of how this demon looked–or did they? It is not clear from our sources whether the Udug-demon had its own personality or was simply a generic embodiment of the idea of “demon”. - The faceless Udug Demon Markham J Geller (Studi e Materiali de Storia delle Religioni 77 (2), 333-341, 2011)

Did she cite this thing that suggests she might be correct? No. Shes using various sources some bluntly saying she's wrong. She does mention a work by Geller from 1985 in her bibliography but not this from 2011. And even Geller is not convinced udug is a generalization of "demon" so presenting it as one isn't the best. Especially when you have contradictions in your sources but don't make note of those contradictions in-text.

🔷You Cannot Trust Her Citations🔷

Called Banddudû and Mullilu in Akkadian, the bucket and purifier are used for carrying and dispersing holy water. The bucket can be a small bucket, bowl or even a small cauldron. It needs to be clean and dedicated to the purpose. The purifier is a pine cone. Try to find one that's in good condition and as clean as possible. For this reason, it's better to pick one from a tree rather than finding one on the ground. (Black et al. “Gods, Demons, and Symbols of Ancient Mesopotamia: an Illustrated Dictionary” 46)

She is literally referencing the same book as me now and on that page it says "very rarely are these objects held by figures which might be interpreted as entirely human"

If you want to use the bucket and cone as purifying tools cool, thats actually a good adaptation (I'll ponder using it). But it doesn't have precedent in any historical ritual texts, or if it does she didn't provide it. If we are reconstructing things please state clearly that this is a modern adaptation of ancient ICONOGRAPHY of genies not actual ritual tools that we know of— or if they are, cite that proof and not Black's dictionary.

I want to know her source for soapwort usage she doesn't give an in text citation. The purifying incantation is interesting I wish I had the source material because something tells me "May Evil Speech Stand Aside" might be modern. I looked at her bibliography to find where it might be from and instead found her misusing sources I've used to disprove her....... so her citations aren't 100% trust worthy.

🔷Seven Who Decree🔷

Gods I wish I hadn't destroyed my old blog I'd have the posts to link to.

The "7 Who Decree" may have been a designation in various cities, but it does not line up with the way Temple of Sumer nor this book presents it. There are no strict 7, each city may have different designations. In Assyrian times a group of 7 or 12 would be considered principal deities based on the King's personal preferences.

The importance of the seven who decree is basically invented by Kramer. Even if they show up elsewhere the idea that they hold any level of importance across Mesopotamian traditions is just not true. The Gods important to a village, City-State, or Empire are not going to be the same, let alone a set of specific 7. The idea that they each have a tablet of destinies is also unsubstantiated. And plenty of Gods outside those 7 are risen to the high position of "decreeing fate" in various hymns in cities where they are the patron. There where anywhere from 10-20 Gods that were staples of Mesopotamian Religion

Stop perpetuating this very specific group of Gods as some pan-Mesopotamian pantheon. Temple of Sumer did this and their logo is on one of the beginning pages of her book so theres that. If you want to use this idea, go ahead! I can see it being useful, but admit that it is not historical. It is very modern.

It doesn't really have chapters but there is an entire section dedicated to profiling the 7..... in an extremely mediocre way. Then another section much later to showcase a random selection of Gods she considers to be the Igigi in a very mediocre way. Including the term udug-god for Pazuzu and udug-goddess for Lamaštu and considers them Igigi..... which just does not make much sense.

There are other free methods to get information on the Gods

They will be 600x more useful. The only thing they lack is the cuneiform script of the God's names. Assuming they are all accurate but I'm not sure how to factcheck that

🔷 Humans. Do. Not. Have. Melam.🔷

Okay I slightly lost it on this topic because just...

Next, close your eyes. Hold your arms out before you. Feel your arms. Focus on the inside of your arms, you should begin to feel a tingling, pulsing sensation. This is your melam.

What in the actual heck?!?! The only humans with Melam are Kings and that would depend on time period.

Students of western magical traditions may recognize this concept as being described in terms of energy or vibes.

No, Melam is not vibes or energy. It is so much more than that. Maybe keep western magic / new age ideas out of a Middle Eastern ancient religion.

Black's Dictionary:

"Melam and ni are two Sumerian words which are often linked. Strictly speaking ni seems to denote the effect on human beings of the divine power melam (Akkadian melamwu). The Babylonians used various words to capture the idea of ni, including puluhtu, 'fear'. The exact connotation of melam is difficult to grasp. It is a brilliant, visible glamour which is exuded by gods, heroes, sometimes by kings, and also by temples of great holiness and by gods' symbols and emblems. While it is in some ways a phenomenon of light, melam is at the same time terrifying, awe-inspiring. Ni can be experienced as a physical creeping of the flesh. Both Sumerian and Akkadian are rich in words to describe this phenomenon and its effects. Gods are sometimes said to 'wear their melam like a garment or a crown, and like a garment or a crown, melam can be taken off". If the yod is killed (see dead gods), his melam disappears. While it is always a mark of the supernatural, melam carries no connotation of moral values demons and terrifying giants can'wear' it too"

We do not have melam. Period end of story. The worst part? The author knows this. The author cites this exact book in multiple locations. Searching Melim, will probably get you more results if you want to research yourself, melam being the transcription not transliteration based on ePSD. Also Ni entry.

She also uses "ni" super weird calling it punishment of demons or how you can know a demon has cursed you

In my experience, the most common way that demons and hungry ghosts attack you is through ni inflicted terror, sometimes coupled with horrific images. If you are familiar with focusing on your own melam, you will be able to recognize when ni is being inflicted on it and be able to use this meditation to help dispel it and keep it from affecting you.

The amount of UPG just shoved into a concept where it makes no sense in a book claiming to be reconstructionism is mind boggling.

Ni is an experience to any Melam so how exactly can you differentiate where Ni is coming from: a God or demon? A bad demon or good demon? Who the hell told you unwanted images were Ni? When it comes to specifics the book you are using literally only describes "creeping of the flesh."

It. Is. Not. Vibes. And you cannot get rid of it with your own Melam because you don't have Melam

Note: even if you experience ni, it's always important to have a person exhibiting any medical or psychological symptoms be examined by a medical and/or psychological first before taking any action. Sometimes udug and gidim can become attached to someone who's experiencing an illness, taking advantage of their weakened state. In such cases, it's imperative to address the medical or psychological issue first before taking any additional action as often such attachments can be simply dispelled when the issue is addressed. Additionally, performing a full exorcism on an individual in a weakened state is dangerous. If some kind of meditation is called for in such a situation, see An Exorcism for the Sick. In any case, more often than not, you'll likely find exorcism will be needed more often for a place rather than an individual. Investigative steps should always be taken before taking any action of remediation.

The amount of citations needed in this is enormous.

None of this has any basis, where is she getting these ideas? It directly contradicts Mesopotamian tradition considering bad demons, or sin, or an angry god = sickness. Not "sickness allows demons to attach"— again this is showcased in more than one book she references!

"Addressing the issue" in Ancient Mesopotamia included the exorcism ritual. The demon doesn't just leave because "oh well the ointment took care of the skin problem guess I better be off!" Exorcism on a weakened person was the norm thats kind of the point. Or some other form of magic since exorcism is not the only type.

Repeat until the ni is no longer felt and the possession has ended.

What if the Ni the person is experiencing is because you just called on like 12+ Gods in this exorcism ritual to complete the task. A ritual where the Gods are purposely physically effecting you due to a magicians incantations? You are going to feel immense Ni from the Gods' Melam. Many, many, many sources of Melam naturally causing Ni. To avoid Ni you'd have to banish the Gods from the area as well....... see how none of this makes sense when you decide melam is just energy and ni is just some vague evil.

🔷 Keep the Occult Out of Sumerian Religion🔷

When I was first checking out her bibliography I got confused because why...... why is Crowley in this bibliography. Oh here's why:

The following are a few rituals designed to be functional replacements for common Golden Dawn and Thelemic rituals set in the Mesopotamian modality. They are included here because I have found them to be immensely useful in my own practice and they therefore may be useful in yours as well. While constructed with components taken from Mesopotamian history, the rituals themselves have no direct historical basis, which is why they have been included here rather than the main text. Whether you decide to include them in your own practice or not is up to you.

This might be a very unpopular opinion: but if you are going to be making a book on Mesopotamian Religion don't take parts of it's traditions and shove them onto practices as fancy bells and whistles. Its utterly infuriating to read the occult section.

Mesopotamia already gets used completely out of context in occult circles full of misinformation. It is one of the worst sources of falsehoods about Mesopotamia. Keep the occult out of a book meant to focus on Mesopotamian religion. Its just disrespectful.

This ritual is based on Liber Resh vel Helios by Alister Crowley. It is designed to be a functional replacenent for that ritual set in the Mesopotamian modality and based on the mythic cycle of Utu instead of that of Horus.

The occult has bastardized so many things including the history of Mesopotamia. I don't care if its in an "appendix" and "not the main text" its still in the book. Make a different book if you feel like using Mesopotamia as your decorations on an already developed modern occult or other magical system.

I am solidly anti-Crowly, a racist anti-semite. His inclusion is enough to tip my opinion into the "don't use at all" side of things.

🔷Ending thoughts🔷

Here is the forward:

The importance of this book is immeasurable. It comes into being at a time when contemporary Sumerian Pagan literature is still in its infancy. Over the next few years we will see a flowering of Near Eastern Pagan literature, devotional works, initiation systems and guide books in much the same scope and scale akin to what followed on for Wicca with the publication of ‘Witchcraft Today’ by Gerald Gardner. But we are not quite there yet. [...] Vanessa's work then, this marvellous book that you now hold in your hands, will be remembered in decades to come as that of a pioneering work. This work also mirrors another famous Pagan Grimoire: the Simon Necronomicon. Yet while the latter used fragmented and often outdated academia mixed with Lovecraftian fiction, Vanessa's work if the real deal! Drawing on authentic texts, with extensive referencing, her work stands apart from the pretenders. I cannot emphasise enough how important this book truly is. - Steffy Von Scott.

Her citations I don't trust, she says things that directly contradict the sources, her God profiling is lack luster, everything is out of context, and to add a rotten cherry on top occult is shoved in at the end because..... reasons I guess.

Personally I think the forward makes some heavy claims and predictions. That I beg to differ with.

-----

TL;DR Out of context incantations, unreliable citations, neo-pagan and occultism masquerading as Sumerian religion. Useless due to its misunderstanding of Melam and "exercising" Ni. Avoid it.

#polytheism #paganism #levpag #witchcraft #book review #landof2rivers #michibooks #this is the type of stuff that makes me want to write a book #and also the exact reason ill never write a book

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michaelevans27 · 3 years

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I've got to leak somewhere at this point regardless of the vulnerability of the dodgy 1 way mirror that can exist. When you're in a position of trust with another person and depth of entanglement and deliberate growth around and with someone and yet consistently have the vines of life leave the sunlight and spread sidewards and pull the sweet fruits/berries into the shade or start to find this vine you are building with help question where you can flourish and blossom it leaves you with so much uncertainty with what you have left when the growth works to pull apart. Sometimes plants have to be seperated for the benefit of their respective health. Sometimes they take too much of each other's sun or they struggle to work synchronously. Sometimes plants will grow and find themselves tangled again. Vines and gardens and plants all beautiful but all unable to know their own needs. It takes a skilled gardener to know what's best and sometimes even then it's not an absolute.

Humans are not plants, we are far more complicated, we are filled with emotion, judgement, issues and conscious thought. Who are we to know what in the fuck we want? How are we supposed to trust in others when we can't even trust our own opinion or struggle to form one? Whether through my own twisted lense of perception, gaslighting or struggles and moments of first experiences and dealings with the many complications to any moment with many people and feelings and topics all that came to my mind was feeling like a robot like maybe my emotions aren't with as much depth or good enough or come out wrong. Yet without the comparison of the past and the need to be clear and therefore properly understood, with the simple and only requirement being to myself... well it doesn't get easier to know your own thoughts but at least it's clearer the depth and strength of feelings one has. The kind of feelings that make you question what feelings are and how you might interpret them.

The ones that are so fiercely strong that you can't tell if you're angry because you're upset or upset because you're angry, whether you're upset because you're thinking about a happiness or upset because you're thinking about the pain, the kind of feelings that tell you you're an idiot for not protecting yourself sooner while also telling you that you ought to not need to protect and all emotions and thoughts between. They say pain makes you stronger but they fail to ever say how it makes you stronger. How one converts or ignites strength from or through the pain, whether pain is to be replaced or forgotten or constant. At what point do you stick true to who you are or maybe were, possibly either foolishly trusting and quick to do so whimsically or refreshing and positively quick in trusting or maybe even both at once since it comes with benefits and goodness but through enough exposure and unfortunate chance you'll be able to have it taken advantage of.

Are there any right answers in the end? Any correct paths to take? In such a perfectionist world high on emotions low in patience and so particular and picky in tastes will there be any humanity able to step back and be hopeful but not condemnful? Any chance of understanding and fair expectations while not sacrificing oneself and not settling for less than ideal but the composure and treatment one would hope in return in this world? I want to be myself, my ideal self in this world, the young man with dreams to do it all and be around for all, to be interactive and caring and trusting with all as I can be, to do as much as I can with my time and to build a pure family with no distances with energy to spread something further with cosiness and trust and openness I was so ready for all of that, I was so ready I took on more than I could, I rushed about the place, I grew tired and pulled in my sphere expanding from a quiet furnishing floater to much more too quickly. I saw my vision in even the worst of times even with each moment of collapse where it would feel like there was a poisonous atmosphere out to get me, with little mind of my mind but there was always enough to keep me going. Didn't matter whether it was external or internal when it mattered most it was internal, when my mind and opinion wavered on whether my feelings were in need internally if needed I'd smooth over and repair as best I could whether I was reckless and blind excusing the damage or smoothing over without the proper external material or against external or internal counterparts is a matter somewhat. What matters to me the most though is having a hold on understanding, ironic how often it can be to feel misunderstood and to not quite understand the new or unknown around you and yet worst of all not have enough perspective and capacity or perhaps too much of the capacity to think so much and not understand yourself.

So much blabber that might not make sense but ultimately it comes to this, I've felt deeply, and strongly regardless of how many times I've felt empty from depression and of the opinions of others. How do I know I've felt that strongly about something? Well for starters I already knew it in each moment where there was effortlessness and yet knowing the moments that had and would take all the effort which meant so little amounting to effortless when achieved. It was clear in the way I'd feel when things would seem to co-incide literally with moments that would match and I'd tell myself that it's a tie at a level deeper with fate, souls, voodoo whatever shit you can think of that becomes your own metaphor keeping minds and states and moments as one or close to one. It's so much more that told me so much about myself and my insides that it'd be a disservice and silly to bother for many reasons to go on.

The biggest thing that told me about the strength of my feelings and opened the Pandora box and decided to make me feel like I finally understood my robot belief and build the knowledge of not knowing what I know or feel or what to trust even within my feelings as to which is central rather than which is in control, the biggest thing that ripped it all open was playing to my biggest weakness, my desire to help anyone that needs it, especially those important to me. My eagerness to drop everything for now and focus on what matters to me most, being there for someone that I trust and I see as positive as a person who simply feeds that fuel of what's good and feeds into a future I know I can keep working for because those people can show me or make me feel there's a positive world and that I am not fighting against an ocean but a stream wide as you want but never endless. I trusted and eagerly took into place the most important and sacred and meaningful things to me in being there and I always will trust in even people that in now way or form have had a chance to earn it, but yet that trust was broken, it isn't often I let my upset take control of me, I keep my emotions in check as much as I can so I'm not hurting others because you can be upset and share upset without doing harm. The most important thing and pure thing I can ever feel like doing, something I struggled to do in moments that I was never prepared for, something I'd do without even noticing in smaller moments, something I do no matter the distance or the positional issues and yet my trust was taken freely advantageously whether maliciously or not, my feelings plain and simply feeling shit on all the while sharing the best of them freely.

Knowing what you truly are feeling and thinking, wanting or needing is hard enough on a basic unaltered state, figuring it out while having no real trust on your own understanding or trust in your ability to trust alongside the deservedness or maybe the potential usage of that trust is an entire different level. People will do all sorts of things in life and may change who they decide they'll be whether it follows their best version of themself, their best vision for themself or just what they feel they ought to be or can only be. There's no way of ever knowing whether someone is reaching out to you and asking how you are to simply do their part in the world, to spy on you and judge or wonder and simply update their info on you, potentially care about you, keep you at arms length as a controlled growth that's simply a body to have contact upon just due to having been part of their life or hell anything under the sun. There's no knowing if it's in your interest to respond and be accomadating to become the next generic and used person in their life that is simply kept up on tabs to know for the sake of knowing or if you'd be accomadating the a simple position where you'd be simply supplying gratification or comparison to their journey, maybe it's in your best interest to share with them regardless since it's progressive in some way? No idea what way or maybe through accomadating the asking of how you are and asking back it would do some good to them and you or even just good for them and it'd be better to do the non-selfish thing and likely what you'd want being good for them by helping them out by doing so but leaving yourself with no betterment from the exchange maybe even worse off. You're supposed to wish people well if you care about them but if you care about them that much don't you also know that it'll hurt ever knowing that would be a case.

Maybe I'm more emotional than I ever realised or maybe people would call me emotionally immature or say that I'm toxic or selfish to not immediately stray towards the most beneficial befitting accomadation of another but last time I did that it made me feel like an object a used object. When it's constantly on loop and stuck on your mind is their a reason? Is there a purpose or direction the universe is pushing you deliberately with all this stuff all these strong deep entrenched thoughts and feelings never giving any long pause of rest? Is it supposed to be a reason to go against in spite of it and trust and respond and engage or is it to follow and close up to, is it stupid to trust someone without constant proof and effort from them showing trust? Is it supposed to stick around and be the way it is for any connections made? Or is it a shitty curse among a strong memory that keeps so much in long term storage that never let's you forget anything. Am I supposed to avoid or forget about or hate or enjoy or be indifferent of little details that I couldn't forget even if I tried, should I be able to forget details. Thinking about it a robot was never a good representation of myself because it focused on a lack of or a disconnection with emotion, feeling miles away from emotion capable and shared by so many more normal people who fit into society or whatever dodgy society may be around, it didn't focus on the confusion of and difficulty with emotion, it didn't focus on the overly believing attitude the childlike expectancy to things working out no matter what and to everything being possible without any sacrifice, the sensitivity to even some violence and small issues among bigger moments thinking everything can be perfect with some ease the rarer of the idealistic over the top optimism moments. At least a robot can know or think and decide in a certain way. It will always make a decision based off of something and wouldn't be unsure of itself. At the end of the day I don't care about it's label because it's the outside world or the stagger into the dark that'll eventually tell me something about my thoughts even if it never comes or my mind is changed more than once. I do really hope it being the first birthday I'll be so seperate from that it'll somehow be as personal and enjoyable as any before, I wish I could somehow have any factor on it but I also wish I'd stop wishing because there's plenty of reason or stories I'm sure to explain that there's nothing good from such stuff being wished since it's at my own detriment maybe. I think that's enough to look back at and know roughly my own thoughts and hopefully give me some peace on it all for a while. Maybe I'll not have to use this ever again.

P.S Michael you might not even understand half the crap you're writing but at least it's been written also there's a wasp and who cares about readability or thinking more about this until it has a reason to be thought about more with a wasp

#diary of my brain #why trust #things aren't simple #are well wishes well wishes in a certain state of your own mind #what's good #still figuring things out #not a writer for grammar

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cracked-pean · 4 years

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Not Knowing Pt.1

Characters: Derek Hale, Female! Reader, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Lydia Martin, Peter Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd, Isaac Lahey, Kate Argent, Deaton (small appearance)

Word Count: 4,951

Warnings: Kidnapping, Torture/Punishments(?), Angst.

Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: So it’s been a while. Um, this really came at me out of nowhere and turned into a whole damn novel, not really but it was LONG. So cut them down to two parts. There’s one scene from two shows that inspired this and I just to write it. One is from ‘Criminal Minds’ and the other is from ‘Leverage’. I’m sure y’all have figured them out by the warnings I posted but hope y’all enjoy them. Sorry for any errors and any warnings I missed (let me know if I did so I can tag them) Leave me your thoughts. Ok, enjoy!

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The door to the loft made a loud noise as it slid open and made contact with the wall. The small group of friends stopped mid conversation as they turned their attention to the sound. A look of confusion written on their faces quickly changed to concern. Stiles appeared barely holding himself up against the wall, his left arm wrapped across his torso holding onto his right side and slightly out of breath. Scott being the closest to him, quickly made his way over and caught him before meeting the ground. Stiles was in bad condition. He was covered in dirt and his shirt was torn in random places. There was a nasty bruise forming around one of his eyes. His bottom lip had a gash across it and the werewolves could smell fresh blood on him. There were wincing sounds coming off him as he tried to move.

"Stiles, what happened? Who did this to you?" Scott asked, helping guide his best friend into the loft. A small groan escaped his lips as he took a seat on the red couch in the living room, the others slowly making way over too.

Derek being up in his room quickly finished getting dressed after hearing the bang of the loft door open. Thinking that the two friends had arrived with the food made his way down the spiral staircase, but the alpha's face instantly hardened. Everyone was surrounding the long couch with an injured Stiles laid across it, and Scott beside him gripping one of his hands drawing out the pain. But their female friend was nowhere in sight.

"Stiles, what happened? Where's [Y/N]?"

Derek walked over to them and stood in front of the pair, arms crossed. The worry was there, but right now he had to remain calm and figure out why there was an injured pack member and another missing.

Stiles kept his eyes on the ceiling not wanting to look at them. Throughout the whole drive to the loft, was filled with nerves and fear. He thought of how he would explain to his friends that he had lost their friend.

"Stiles," the boy winced at Derek's tone of voice.

Letting out a shaky breath, sad whiskey brown eyes made contact with concerned dark green ones.

"They came out of nowhere. I wasn't able to save her."

The two friends turned the corner of the store making their way to Stiles’ Jeep with a cart full of groceries. It was Friday and their turn to do the supply run for their weekly get together. Not like they see each other almost everyday already but who could stop them.

“You think we have enough?” [Y/N] asked as she neared the vehicle.

Stiles scoffed and grabbed a few bags, “[Y/N/N], we basically purchased the whole store. I think we’ll be fine,” he assured her.

Once they had finished loading, she offered to take the cart back to the rack by the doors while he started up the Jeep. Stiles buckled in and looked out his window seeing [Y/N] turn the corner to put away the cart. He glanced down to his phone, ready to text the pack they were on their way, when the passenger door opened and closed.

Still looking at his phone he spoke, “That was fast. Did you ru-” He turned to look at his friend but was greeted with something worse.

Kate. They hadn't seen her since Mexico. They thought she had bled out by the nasty cuts Derek had given her. But then, Argent had informed them that he and a few of his men had seen her down in New Orleans. That was 4 months ago. Somewhere along the way, the hunters lost track of her. She most likely caught onto them and hid. Now they didn’t know where she was. They didn’t pay much attention to her, thinking the Werejaguar wouldn’t make her way to them, but still stayed alert and asked Argent for updates just in case.

“Aw, what’s the matter Stiles, not happy to see,” she gave him a pout.

“At the moment, no. But who ever is really,” he bit back.

She made herself comfortable in the seat. Stiles watched her every move, not really sure what her intentions were. "You know it wasn't very smart of you to park beside the building. Where it's dark and away from the public eye." She gave him a knowing look, “I’d be careful if I were you,” she glanced at the outer rear view mirror. “We would hate for your friend to get hurt.”

Realization dawned on him. [Y/N]. He glanced at the rearview mirror and saw her trapped in the arms of a large guy, with his hand over her mouth. He quickly scrambled out of the Jeep and stood near the rear. Her eyes were wide with a few tears running down her cheeks. She had a few scratch marks on her cheek, Kate's doing most likely and the knees of her Jean's were dirty.

"Let her go you big lug," a pair of hands came up behind him holding on to his arms, keeping him in place. Stiles glanced at the guy, knowing well that there was no chance he'd win that fight but he would sure as hell try. Kate came into view and made her way to [Y/N] and her minion. She leaned closely to the scared girl's face and grinned. She brings up a hand to caress her hair as [Y/N] shuts her eyes flinching and tries to move away.

“Now isn’t she a pretty face. I see why the big bad wolf is fond of her,” she smirked.

Stiles noticed two more guys appear from behind the building. He was out numbered and had no chance from getting out of the guy's grip, “Just tell us what you want.”

A cackle left her lips. What she wanted? What she wanted was for them to feel the hurt and loss that she went through. She obviously couldn’t get her old life back. She lost her niece, her home, her family. And these rugrats got to live on with their lives as if nothing had ever happened.

“What I want, you can’t give to me. So I'm going to do the next big thing,” she gave a look to the guy holding on to the boy and then a slight nod. Stiles was thrown onto the ground following a kick to the stomach. [Y/N] thrashed in her captor’s grasp as she tried to get out of his hold to get to her friend and help, but was no use. She winced as they began to kick and punch him. Blow after blow and all she was able to do was watch as the look on Kate’s face showed satisfaction from the outcome. Once the blonde thought he had had enough, she made her way to him, the men stepping aside as she kneeled down to his level. Kate placed a hand below his chin and made him look at her.

“I lost my niece to you monsters. Now it’s my turn to make you feel my pain,” she leaned closer to his ear, “but worse.”

After Stiles had explained what happened at the mini mart, it was safe to say the group was pissed. The wolves more than anything. They had called over Deaton to check on him to make sure he didn’t have any sprained or broken bones. He had a few bruised ribs and some deep cuts on his head and on his arms, but nothing that a few stitches and some rest couldn’t fix. He shortly fell asleep on the couch after the vet had cleaned his cuts and given him some pain killers and left.

“Why would she only take [Y/N], why not both,” Malia questioned glancing at Stiles.

Lydia slightly rolled her eyes, “She was clearly keeping tabs on us. [Y/N] is the glue of this group, Kate must have known it would hurt us more if she went after her. Also, didn’t you hear what she said? She obviously knows [Y/N] is Derek’s weak spot even if [Y/N] herself doesn’t know it.”

The group took a glance at Derek, he was standing by the window looking out with a frown on his face and arms crossed. It was true. Derek did have a soft spot for the girl. She was his weakness and she didn't even know it. The pack knew he had feelings for her, but Derek chose from the beginning to not act upon them. But he was whipped. The small glances he made her way when she wasn't looking. When the pack would train together, Derek was still strict with the rest but just a bit less with her. He would always seem a bit lighter when she was present in the room and it took for her to be gone a whole week visiting family for the pack to notice his change in behavior and connect the dots. During fights, no matter what, he would always try to keep an eye on her. Making sure she was holding her own and at the ready to jump in if needed to. But like Kate and his friends said, he had a soft spot for her. He didn't want to act upon his feelings and have something start between the two of them for this very reason. If word got out that the alpha of The Hale Pack had a significant other, then everyone, allies and enemies would use her against him. Now, even when not getting together he had failed to keep her safe.

Derek closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. Standing here and moping wasn’t going to help [Y/N] and the pack in locating her. He uncrossed his arms, got into alpha mode and made his way to the metal table where they were all gathered. He needed to treat this situation with a calm and clear mind, even if he was equally as scared as the others on the inside.

“Let’s split up and search the area for her," he began. "I’ll go check the store’s parking lot to see if I can catch her scent. Scott, Isaac, go to Argent’s house and see if you can get any info on Kate. Her last known location, previous ones, contacts, properties, anything. Malia, Peter, you check the woods. You’re more skilled in the outdoors, they could have taken a path through there. Erica and Boyd, you search the edge of town. Maybe Kate’s scent could be caught if she did leave the area. Lyd-”

“I’ll stay with Stiles and keep an eye on him," the redhead finished for him.

He gave her a slight smile and turned towards the others with a determined look.

"We'll find her, and bring her home. Now let's go."

[Y/N] woke up in a cement wall like room on the cold floor. After the whole parking lot incident, Kate and her goons had knocked her out and tossed her into the trunk of the car. She was in and out in between so she wasn't able to tell how long they were on the road or where they were going.

The room wasn't very spacious. The door was made of metal, bolted shut with no way of opening it from the inside. Typical. There was a small dirty cot in the corner. A single light bulb hanging from the ceiling flickering and slightly swinging back and forth. The walls had markings all round it. [Y/N] crawled closer and her blood ran cold. Claw marks. It seemed like this wasn't a normal room. There wasn't a window or any way for outdoor light to get in. They must have used it for other wares, keeping them locked in on full moons, which could explain the claw markings.

What the hell was going on? Why would Kate take her? Out of everyone in the pack she chose her. Not that she would want one of the others to be in her position. But, it just didn't make any sense.

"I see why the big bad wolf is fond of her."

Big bad wolf? Derek? No. She's probably working for someone else and was referring to them. Yeah that's it. Not Derek. But, this is Kate. She doesn't take orders from others, she makes them.

"-it's my turn to make you feel my pain, but much worse."

Much worse? How could she make it worse than death?

[Y/N] was still on the floor when the metal door opened. The same guy that had beaten Stiles walked in. There was no emotion on his face, it was just stone cold. Her eyes went wide and she slowly crawled backwards until her back hit the rough wall.

"Oh stop it Daryl, you're scaring her," a female voice made itself known. Daryl stepped aside. God, how she wished he hadn't.

Kate stepped forward with a menacing grin plastered on her face. There was seriously something wrong with her. Peter really should have made sure she was dead.

"What do you want with me?" [Y/N]'s voice shook a bit.

Kate began to stroll around the room, "Do you know what your part in all this is? The pack I mean," she asked. The woman glanced at the girl on the floor and saw fear written on her face. When she didn't respond, she continued.

"No? Well lucky for you, I've done my research. What I've observed is that you're an ok fighter. Not bad with research. But the main thing," she kneeled down close to the girl. [Y/N] tried to scoot further away but the wall wouldn't allow her to. "You're the alpha's weakness."

A confused look appeared on [Y/N]'s face. Her? Derek's weakness? That can't be true? Can it?

"Oh. You had no clue? Huh," she stood back up.

"They'll come after you, you know."

"Oh I count on it. But they won't find you anytime soon. Not till I say they do." With that, she and Daryl exited the room.

[Y/N] was left with her thoughts as so many unanswered questions loomed in her mind.

Three months. That's how long it's been since [Y/N] had been taken and held captive by Kate Argent.

The whole time had been miserable and just plain torture. Literally. The first few days [Y/N] fought. She’d fought and rebelled against them. They asked her questions about the pack, Hale secrets, the vault, everything they thought she'd know. In truth [Y/N] did know, but she would never talk. But it had all gotten too much for her. She no longer had any fight left in her to fight back against them anymore. When she wouldn't answer their questions or gave a snarky comment, she would get punished. They'd chain her up which would leave her wrists red and sore. There would be days where they wouldn't feed or give her water and make her starve as punishment or for their own amusement. They'd tie her up in a chair and make gashes on her skin, with either knives or their claws. The cruelest thing they've done was, in the secluded area where the house they held her at, they would set her free giving her the chance to escape and while they hunt her down. And it was always at night. They'd even take her out on full moons so the wares had something to do and let out their energy.

[Y/N] would be running in the dark, barely able to see anything. Tree branches would scratch her, logs and rocks would be tripping her and worst of all she'd be barefoot. Her shoes had worn out after the first few times. The weather hadn't been kind to her at all though it all. She'd run in the rain, nights were cold and the wind would be blowing, causing her scent to the wolves be more easily tracked.

She'd climb tree branches if she was able to and hide behind bushes, but she couldn't hide from them long before either red, yellow or blue glowing eyes came into view. That was another thing. Kate was never present while the others had their “fun” with [Y/N], always had her men do it for her. What [Y/N]’s noticed is that, no matter what damage they cause her, what pain they’d make her feel or just by simply being in her presence, they’d always be shifted. Claws and glowing eyes visible, staring right at her.

The light bulb had gone out a while back, must have been an old one if it burnt out so soon, so the only light that could be seen was from underneath the door from the lit up hallways outside. [Y/N] was shivering on the cot and the thin blanket provided for her wasn’t helping at all, especially not after being chased again in the rain the previous night. Or was it earlier this morning? There was no clock to tell time nor windows in the room to tell if it was day or night. [Y/N] was just wasting away, at least they had given her some food before the chase. But didn’t last long in her system as she threw it up between runs. Though today was different.

She hardly sleeps nowadays so when the loud noise of the padlocks from the door were heard, she didn’t flinch anymore like before. Kate had told her goons that once they were done with chases to give [Y/N] a rag and a bucket of water to at least clean herself. So when those very items were presented before her, she wasn’t surprised and gladly took them. Though she had noticed the person handing them to her was not as built and rough looking as the others. [Y/N] hesitantly looked up and straightened up a little. Kate hardly ever came by to see her. She must have come by three times, not counting the time when [Y/N] first got situated in the room that first night. This wasn’t going to be good.

“Wow, they really roughed you up good out there didn’t they.”

There were a few twigs and leaves in her hair, too tired to care she left them in not bothering to pick some out. Her right cheek was scraped from slipping down the tree trunk while climbing up, and her feet were never in good condition since the loss of her shoes. Believe it or not, this was nothing compared to previous one’s. She had a sprained ankle and a broken arm once, all in the same night.

“Well, go on clean up. Wouldn’t want your boyfriend and friends to see you all messed up now would we.”

[Y/N] was about to dampen the rag when she let what Kate said fully sink in. To see me? She looked up in Kate’s direction and let a look of confusion appear on her face.

“What do you mean,” her voice croaked. It came out raspy, hardly ever needing to use it since she never talked or made any noise. “To see me?”

Kate grinned and leaned against the wall with a foot propped up behind her. Her silhouette could only be seen as she was near the door where most of the light was let in from the hallway, but her feline, green eyes were the only thing that could be seen.

“Today’s your lucky day, Dorothy. You’re going home.”

[Y/N] froze mid wash. Home? Really?

“You’re Lying.”

Kate smacked her lips, “I could be or not. Up to you if you want to find out.”

[Y/N] continued to wash herself with her captor in the room while contemplating over the idea. [Y/N] didn’t know what to do. Of course she wanted to see everyone again, she missed them so much. But this was too easy. Kate couldn’t easily just hand her back over to them, she must have something in store for her and her friends. At this point [Y/N] didn’t have much to lose though, she in a way is already dead while not being so. Whatever Kate’s play is on this, [Y/N] was going to risk it. She had to try.

So [Y/N] set aside the rag and bucket and looked at Kate, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Kate uncrossed her arms, pushed herself off the wall and made her way to stand in front of [Y/N]. She had this look on her face mixed with amusement and curiosity. The girl had guts Kate will admit.

“You sure? This could be all some trick of mine to kill you without even knowing,” she leaned closer to her face. “You willing to risk your life?”

[Y/N] glanced up and looked her straight in the eye, “Yes.”

Kate grinned. She began to walk away but turned around and made [Y/N]’s vision go dark.

Three months. It’s been three months since the night their packmate was taken and the pack wasn't able to find much information on Kate or [Y/N]. They for sure knew that she wasn't in Beacon Hills anymore.

The night [Y/N] was taken, Erica and Boyd were able to track down her and Kate’s scents on the edge of town. But after 3 miles, the scent was gone. They assumed they were taking her East, where the land got more deserted.

The pack was on edge. Lydia and Stiles worked with Argent most of the time, trying to figure out Kate's location. They would get in contact with some of her old hunting buddies and try to get any information they could get their hands on. Some would talk, others wouldn't, in fear of what Kate would do to them if she found out they blabbed on her.

Malia, Scott, Erica and Boyd would make calls to other packs they have come across in their times traveling and inform them on their situation. Hoping they may have seen Kate or [Y/N] wandering around their areas, or seen anything suspicious relating to the werejaguar. All they would get were that there were no sightings of such but would keep an eye open. Some had seen Kate but kept their distance not wanting to engage, but had commented that it was months ago before kidnapping [Y/N].

Derek was the one pushing himself too hard. Having the feeling that this was his fault, was searching none stop. He would look up surveillance cameras everyday, hoping to get a glimpse of the werejaguar or one of her men. He would drive to neighboring towns and do a few rounds sniffing out empty buildings in hopes that Kate might have planted something or slipped up in some way that would lead them to finding her. But had no luck. Peter began to worry about him going alone and decided to join him on these searches.

It was 10:45 at night and the two Hale men had just pulled up to the loft, finishing up a search that had taken them all day and night to drive from. Derek shut off the car and leaned against the steering wheel, letting out a sigh. He was beginning to lose hope in ever finding them. Kate was smart. She would never leave any tracks behind. This was her game, with her rules. She was probably watching them right now laughing at their pain and they would never even notice.

Peter hated seeing his nephew so broken. They may not get along much but pack was pack. As much as he hated to say it, their friend had grown on to him. She was the youngest after all, following Stiles by a few months, so he felt more protective over her.

Peter glanced at his nephew, and looked back out the front window, “We’re going to find her nephew. She’s pack, surely we would have felt her loss through the bond at some point these past few months,” there was a pause “especially you.”

Derek sat up and turned to his uncle, “Why? Because I’m the Alpha and it’s my re-”

“Because you’re in love with her,” Peter gave him a stern look cutting him off.

Derek’s eyes widened but returned back to their normal gaze. In love with Donnie? He couldn’t be, right? Sure he liked her, but Love? Love was a sensitive subject for the young Alpha, never did give it much of a chance. Not after Kate. He had thought she was his forever but when he found out she was just using him, the simple thought of finding his forever partner was just not in the books anymore. Thinking back on it, Derek never did feel anything of the sort that would indicate Kate was the one, let alone love her. The need to protect them, the constant worry when they weren’t in sight or near them, the slight tug in their chest being drawn to them. None of that was felt with Kate. However, when [Y/N] came into the picture, that’s exactly what Derek would feel when the thought of her would cross his mind. She was everything he didn’t know he needed. [Y/N] was playful but knew when to get serious, was cuddly and very loving but stepped back when need be, and was just a light in Derek’s dark world. So, maybe he was in love, just didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to risk his heart and end up being broken again.

“I know that you were aware of that detail and were hesitant about getting close to her for this very reason. But you have to understand. Even if you had initiated something, something was bound to happen. Whether to her or the pack, danger is all around us dear nephew,” Peter began to remove his seat belt and turned to him. “I know we haven’t had it easy, especially you. But don’t let the unknown stop you from trying to find peace, to be able to find love and happiness again. It would only make you more miserable.”

The young Hale stared ahead as his uncle got out of the vehicle before he followed after him to the building’s entrance. Halfway up the stairs to their floor, a familiar scent made them stop and look at each other. The two sped up the stairs and paused in front of the door. With a slight nod from Peter and claws drawing out, Derek pulled open the door.

“You really should get a new security system,” a mental box with wires stringing out of it was tossed at their feet. “This one’s broken.”

They followed the direction it was tossed from and their gaze was met with a certain blonde that they had been tracking down. There laying on their couch, as if she hadn’t just taken one of their packmates hostage, was Kate Argent in all her glory giving them a playful grimace.

In one quick sudden motion, Derek had lunged at her and pinned her to the wall by her neck. Peter was left there in shock, debating whether to let the man do damage to the woman or pull him away to figure out her play.

The woman chuckled, “Oh, now this brings back memories.”

“Where is she?” Derek demanded. His claws extended around her neck, canines barring at her, along with his crimson red eyes.

Kate batted her eyes at him, “Whatever do you mean Derek, I just came by to say hello.”

“Don’t play any games here Kate. Where the Hell is [Y/N]?”

“Derek, as much as I would prefer you to continue. But, you need to let her go,” Peter slowly made his way to his nephew, but stood back a few feet. “She has [Y/N], we need her alive to figure out where she is.”

Derek’s gaze never shifted from the current anger he held towards the woman. Nothing would satisfy him more than finally getting rid of Kate from his life. But, Peter had a point. [Y/N] was more important right now. So in defeat, Derek let her fall to the ground with a little more force than needed to be and walked away from her taking out his phone in the process. She wouldn’t be going anywhere, not without giving them answers, so the rest of the pack had to be here too.

Kate rose from the floor while rubbing the soreness away from her neck, “Always such a gentlemen.”

Half an hour later, the others had arrived and had kept their distance from the woman, but still a watchful eye on her as they discussed how they would go through with this.

“We could always beat it out of her.”

Everyone gave Stiles a look.

“What? She’s done it to all of us, what’s wrong with giving her a taste of her own medicine.”

“What’s wrong is that she wouldn’t break. It’d be useless on our part,” Lydia pointed out.

“I could always tell you where she is,” the pack looked at her. She was leaning against one of the wall windows, picking her fingernails, well claws.

They all returned their gazes back to each other, “Seems too easy if you ask me,” Erica spoke.

“She came to us,” Stiles glanced at Kate, giving her a death stare, over everyone’s shoulders while Peter began. “There must be something in return she wants. Something we all aren’t going to be willing to accept so easily.”

There was a cackle, “Old man’s right. But, you all better decide quickly.” Kate strutted her way near them and placed her hands on her hips. “Clock’s ticking. Not sure how long she’s got left, before little ole [Y/N] goes night night,” she bared her canines at them. “For good.”

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