#and possibly a way to bring in other new world vampire characters to the present

[baked-hylian]

I wonder if vampire Tera is gonna rat Olrox out to Erzsebet and tell her that he gave them the book that Emmanuel was using

[bulkyphrase]

Halloween Fic Recs 2023 Week 5: Old Favorites

Welcome to the last week of Halloween fic recs! This week the stories are some of my favorites from previous years' lists.

When in Rom(ania), Do As The Ghosties Do by Blizzard_Fire (@superblizzardfire) (Gen, General Audiences, 3,115 words)

Summary: "By the way," says Tony, "I may have bought a castle. In Romania." Steve recognises that look: it means he’s planning something, which is never a good sign. "I got it cheap because it’s one of the most haunted castles on the continent." Vision’s eyes light up. Literally. It’s a little creepy. "Haunted?" Tony passes him the StarkPad. "Here’s your chance, buddy. You up for a trip?" Steve and Vision spend the night in a "haunted" Romanian castle. What could go wrong?

The Old Ones Wait by Sholio (@sholiofic) (Gen, Teen And Up Audiences, 2,231 words)

Summary: Just a little bit of eldritch-horror-hunting in the countryside. Perfectly normal.

Hungry by tuesday (Gen, General Audiences, 1,102 words)

Summary: It's a baby.

The rest are below the cut!

Does not play well with others by usedupshiver (@usedupshiver) (Gen, Major Character Death, Teen And Up Audiences, 11,588 words)

Summary: While sneaking into the Starks' abandoned home, Steve makes the startling discovery that even though no Stark is living in the house anymore, not all of them have actually left.

For Whose Love I Rise and Fall by Yeetmeaway (Romanogers, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Mature, 195,570 words)

Summary: In 1943 Hydra unleashes a deadly virus in its quest to create a new world order-- one that turns its hosts into vampire-like creatures. 75 years later, humanity is on the brink of extinction, protected only by the hunters of SHIELD. Natasha has already lost so much to this-- they are fighting a losing battle and everyone can feel it. But, for the first time in years SHIELD has hope, the possibility of a cure. What else will she give to bring an end to this nightmare?

Sam Wilson: Ghost Hunter by kehinki (SamSteve, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Not Rated, 1,334 words)

Summary: Sam's stuck in a horror movie cliche. Also available as a podfic read by sisi_rambles

A Long, Lonely Time by asktheravens (Stony, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Mature, 58,567 words)

Summary: Steve returned from the war injured in body and mind- and able to see the dead. At loose ends and desperate to get out of New York City, he accepts a fellowship through the Stark Foundation and retreats to a quiet lake house on the grounds of the Stark Mansion. He's supposed to be there to paint, but he quickly realizes that the house is more than he bargained for. Anthony Stark died here a decade ago, but was it an accident? A suicide? Or a murder? Obadiah Stane still lives in the main house just up the hill, and the past casts a long shadow. When Tony's ghost begins appearing to him, Steve becomes more entwined in the dangerous mystery surrounding his death. Even worse, he finds himself falling for a man who died a decade ago... Features lots of ghosts, murder, secrets, and supernatural revenge. Also Thor and Rhodey.

What Lies Beneath by asktheravens (Stony, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Explicit, 38,726 words)

Summary: All Tony wants is to make amends after a thoughtless reaction leaves him in danger of losing Steve, but a mission intervenes. The Avengers travel to a laboratory in a remote part of Appalachia expecting a routine job, but an ancient evil slumbers within Old Crow Mountain that will test much more than their relationship.

Work of Art by veryvincible (@veryvincible) (Stony, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Mature, 5,656 words)

Summary: Tony smelled… off. Wrong. He smelled strange in a way that would justify the cold, Steve thought. There was a metallic layer to blood that Steve was used to smelling, and in Tony, that was distinctly not present. So, Steve concluded, Tony must have had an iron deficiency. Something to that effect, at least. He became faint without warning, he was chilly as the dead, and he was as pale as any man Steve had ever seen. - Tony Stark is a vampire. It's common knowledge, at this point.Somehow, Steve isn't aware of that little fact.

Glass Gardens (The Witching Hour Remix) by Woad (Stony, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Mature, 18,692 words)

Summary: The year is 1883. Spiritualism is at an all-time high, "taking the waters" is a popular cure-for-what-ails-you, and sanitariums offer retreats to restore the health. When Tony is shipped off to one, he is convinced his stay will be an utter waste of time. That is, until things take a disastrous turn, and Tony begins to doubt everything about himself.

Dragging You Down by AraniaArt, Kamiki (@araniaart) (Stucky, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Explicit, 81,016 words)

Summary: In a divergence from the canon storyline, Hydra experiments with occult legends of a more demonic bent. When Bucky is captured at Azzano, something more insidious than a knock-off super soldier serum is done to him, but the full effects take some time to completely set in. Bucky struggles with building impulses and an increased libido while trying to keep his interest in Steve from boiling over and ruining Steve’s chance at the life he deserves.

"Steve"/32557 by Shaish (Stucky, Major Character Death, Mature, 5,431 words)

Summary: His couch pillows are on the floor. His couch pillows shouldn't be on the floor.

Demon Seed by SucculentHyena (@succulent-hyena) (Stucky, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Mature, 92,478 words)

Summary: [Transcript 00:11:48] MS: You were with him the most throughout the course of events, both before and after. Your account could shed light on something we may have missed. JB: What difference will that make? MS: It could make all the difference. Captain Rogers’ case is unprecedented, he’s the most intact victim we’ve ever recovered- JB: [laughing] You call that intact? -Excerpt of Interview with Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes regarding the Incident.

[ryuzatodraws-backup]

Masterpost

Gerard Deities

Anon idk if this is what you want lol but I decided to make a huge masterpost as a reference.I may or may not remember what I wrote in my last post in my last blog tho. So this post will be updated if I have extras.

These will be the Gerard looks that I interpreted based on how I insert them into my own Ghost universe. These looks are based on Gerard’s costume while he’s on tour during MCR Return.

(Disclaimer : I expand them individually as a character of their own and not as Gerard Way himself. You can see I didn’t use his name in these characters except for the Jean de Arc look; which the character interacting with him didn’t call him by name. If you have an idea on what I should call him, let me know!)

Lets start with our beloved, The Secretary

Origin : Uknown.

First discovered when The Director steps into office one day and notices how his secretary is bleeding and well…appears to be dead but working at the same time as if nothing was wrong. The Director concluded that something happened to them that renders their current secretary’s body to be inhabited by something out of this world.

Their purpose? to type and database everything that is happening in the clergy in the present and also in the future. The Secretary is almost like a storyteller in a way that is capable of dictating or prophesizing what the future will turn out to be.

They’re one of the powerful deities for their ability to predict the future.

The Nurse

First appearance: when The Secretary brought in The Director’s dead body to be revived. ( see the series https://archiveofourown.org/series/3731701 )

Origin : they have been here since Primo’s time. Responsible in the Papas death.  Seems to be enjoying their job at the clergy somehow.

Gerard de Arc ( possible name, The Knight)

First Appearance: 200 years after the so call Apocalypse caused by Copia, found Copia in the ruins of the clergy and tried to kill him (series on going, will be reposted and linked properly)

He’s on a quest for years, to collect 1000 souls so he can ascend to Heaven; joining his Brothers and Sisters. His final task is to kill the Anti Christ – which is Copia himself.

 Other Deities ( might make an appearance , might not…depends)

The Showman

I got this idea thanks to Raynon , you can read their fic to it here https://archiveofourown.org/works/51685087

The Showman looooves everything glitter and gold. He would often spawn himself together with a mysterious casino in towns, especially big cities. Rumors has it that nobody has ever won anything from their place and that people would often go missing, but hey at least the music and drinks are great.

The Rat King / The Trash Man (or trash Papa as some called him)

These two goes hand in hand. You’ll find one nearby after all. The Rat King communicates with all the rats, the epitome of the Plague itself, able to turn into a hoard of rats . The Trash man , bringer of disease and chaos.

The Cheerleader

A sweetheart honestly. Sweet summer child. They love to hang around with Copia the most ( it’s the console games). Theyre a good deity to pray for good vibes and protection. Will probably kill your enemies with a flame thrower.

The Teacher

This one works in the clergy as well, in charge of teaching the new ghouls about everything on planet earth. Patron of Knowledge really.

The Saint

Another good patron for protection , if you need help harming your enemies He will do the job. He’s more aggressive and male leaning in figure. Capable of bringing natural disasters and chaos on earth.

The Tourist

Almost like a trickster, or the norse god Loki. He mostly would play tricks and pretends to be other deities , taking over an empty shrine or a dead god’s altar. Likes to hang out with The Showman.

The Vampire

Man is a vampire.

The Cat

Goes hand in hand with The Cheerleader sometimes but a lot more independent.

The Ghost

Non malevolent entity. He’s just there as well.

The General.

Patron of War , I imagine Corrupt Papa Copia would go to war with him, hand to hand. Victory will always be in your hand

Hierachy

From the Top, the most powerful Deities and the lowest.

There are a few more others that I couldn��t figure out, like the blue dress, the skeleton, the black swan (Bauhaus?), the clown and theres one with the white suit, bandaged bloodied head that I forgot the name. There are other interpretations on the outfits from others that are more in tune with the MCR fandom than me lol (I saw a few posts about the explanation here and on reddit. And oh in this latest zine that you can get it here https://mcrswarmzine.tumblr.com/ ) if anything just DM me if you need like a specific answer to this…ramble I made here.

[faerywhimsy]

Vamptember Day 12 - "Love never dies a natural death"

Today I'm back to my nonsense about my beloved Bianca Solderini.

Here is a chronology of our girl Bianca: Marius' briefly human companion after Santino abducts Amadeo, burning down the Palazzo and leaving Marius a blackened shadow of his former self. Marius brings Bianca into the blood. They occasionally argue to the point where Marius cloud gifts her to a place she can't return to him again, before he feels really bad about it and brings her back again—

While there's an argument to be made that—just as The Vampire Armand was Armand's burn book—Blood and Gold was Marius' maudlin self pity after seeing Armand in Queen of the Damned, I'm still sore about that.

Bianca accepts his temper is just a part of Marius and stands loyal by him for centuries. But they come to a permanent separation after Bianca overhears the way Marius throws her aside for the possibility of being with Pandora again. Like, does Bianca comfort him on the night Pandora rejects, bringing Marius to her cold grave. "It is early for you, but I must go and I can't leave you this way." <3

Less than a page later, as soon as Marius is himself again, my girl, like a boss, informs him in no uncertain terms that she's finally put up with enough and is leaving.

"I heard the things you said to her. And I'm leaving you."

This is around the mid-17th century.

So it's not impossible Bianca goes immediately from Marius in Dresden to Armand in Paris in that brief, possible interaction in TVA before Armand comes across Louis for the first time. Likely she's licking her wounds and building her courage. But then Armand scares her away.

This actually does make a great deal of sense from Bianca's PoV. Marius had regularly been utilising the Telamasca to keep tabs not just on Pandora, but also on Amadeo (now of course Armand). Through Marius, Bianca understands Armand has spent the last hundred years making himself coven master to the Children of Darkness. At his worst, he has completely eschewed any softer feelings or the lessons Marius left him with over only killing the evil doer. In fact, the more innocent the mortal, the more pleasure Armand seems to take in the killing.

Secondhand knowledge is confirmed by reality at the dawn of the 20th century: Armand has changed from the Amadeo she loved into a man Bianca has no ability to recognise.

And then... We don't see Bianca chronologically in canon until Lestat finds her and Allesandra in Paris in Prince Lestat.

It's the century between that visitation at the turn of the 20th century and the end of it that captivates me. Bianca isn't at all present or mentioned by the time we have Queen of the Damned in 1988. Other characters that she's later seen with in Prince Lestat are present for Akasha's Burnings.

And so my investigation begins.

Maybe Bianca had not forgiven Marius by the time Pandora and Santino (🙃) were searching for Marius at the beginning of Akasha's reign of terror. And that's why Bianca did not come to his aid. (It's not like Armand pulled himself away from Daniel either.)

That explanation suffices, or else more simply: The first burning passed over Bianca and her still relatively new fledgling. They were grateful and saw no need to involve themselves in happenings that were by majority occurring on the other side of the world. It's just... they were not so lucky when it came to the second Burning.

"But I'll tell you that, why I am suffering," Bianca said, drawing near but talking in a normal and not a confidential voice, her arm slipping around me [Lestat]. "I lost one I loved in the attack in Paris, a young one, one I'd made and lived with for decades. But this was the Voice at work, not the one he'd brought out of the earth to do his bidding."

This moment where Bianca is just... comfortable enough to slip her arm around Lestat? It's so incredibly maddening to me because the two of them have never before had an interaction on the page before Paris.

How does this moment between Lestat and Bianca come about? There are two obvious options that immediately come to mind for an explanation, then, of the affection evident between Bianca and Lestat (outside of the love every vampire in this universe has for Lestat).

1) more happened between Armand and Bianca directly in the years between 1998 (TVA) and 2013 (PL) when Lestat and Armand were on better terms (??)

2) Armand told Lestat of his beloved Bianca Solderini before Lestat went into the ground

Picture this: Lestat is weakened from Louis' and Claudia's attack on him. He asks and is refused healing blood from Armand. Fair enough. Maybe Armand makes a throwaway line, "I wouldn't give my healing blood to even my beloved Bianca Solderini if she had treated me as you have!"

It's entirely possible Armand would have mentioned her here, after all. Remember he thinks he sighted Bianca in Paris earlier in the decade.

And so Lestat, hurting and humbled, wanders back towards New Orleans. But it just so happens that Bianca has also found herself in this part of the world at the same time. She has come across the occasional immortal on her travels up till now but, with them, a quick scan of the mind always shows little more than whether or not there is an intention to harm.

Lestat's mind is different in two ways: He is clearly far from his best but, also, there are familiar figures in this immortal's mind. Marius, and Armand.

They stare at each other in shock, hardly able to parse that they have two such influential figures on each of their lives in common - yet they have never before met. Bianca immediately offers him aid, and Lestat's mind throws up the memory of the words Armand threw at him.

She doesn't completely recoil. Bianca's used to Marius' temper. She knows how unkind men can be and does not jump to assume either Lestat or Armand must be the right. She's just tired, so tired of being alone. So she asks Lestat to give her stories of Armand and, in exchange, she will offer him a little of her blood that is almost as powerful as Armand's.

Lestat accepts this deal, and Bianca hears about Armand from someone other than Marius for the first time in almost 400 years. She ends up in tears with it. Lestat cannot stand the idea of yet another blood drinker flying into a rage over what is only truth to him. He knows he will not survive it, even with the small amount of blood she has granted him.

That will be just enough to get him safely the rest of the way back to New Orleans.

And so, while Bianca mourns, Lestat takes his leave from her, apologising, thanking her for her kindness, but asking her not to follow him.

She doesn't. Bianca wishes Lestat well and thinks on him often while he sleeps.

Because he is the last blood drinker she holds company with for several decades. By the 1950s, she finds herself in California, at which point the mind of a human girl captivates her. She is strong, this girl, recently sent away from her family to give birth to a baby she was forced to then give up for adoption.

But this girl refuses to fall down to depression despite the current isolation from her family, her younger brother, her old friends. She's getting her diploma in night classes, and Bianca finds herself quietly stalking her, curious at her thoughts and her resilience.

She's not as subtle as she thinks she is, and the girl confronts her one night, telling her that if she's going to be appearing out of nowhere every night, the very least she can do is buy her a soda.

The first time Bianca reaches for her hand, the girl pulls it away, before realising she doesn't need to worry anymore about what others might think of her holding another woman's hand. Bianca asks her where she would like to go in the world if she could go anywhere. Her eyes light up at the idea of being able to leave California behind her.

And this is the fledgling Bianca mentions in passing. The reason Bianca does not appear in Queen of the Damned is explained: Bbecause her fledgling refused to go back to California, and Bianca wouldn't make her. Lestat gave her the highlights after it was all over. He even visited the two of them on one of his visits to France.

The hug Bianca gives to Lestat in that moment of Prince Lestat, then, gets to be a quiet moment of recognition between them. Bianca is glad to know Lestat is okay because she can't help but think of their first meeting, and this time it is Bianca who's the one that's utterly bereft, while Lestat is as fit and healthy as Bianca was on their first meeting.

Their roles have quite reversed.

@vamptember

[lostsoulaltair]

OnS Theory - Who is Yuu aiming to resurrect?

A rather tricky title for a theory, but actually, it’s something that I find rather amusing, is he trying to save Mika or is he trying to save Mikaela?

P.S: Theories are held within a neutral view and ships are excluded

As it’s been mentioned for a good time, the whole issue within the story is that Shikama is seeking to resurrect his son Mikaela, tasking his creation, Yuu, to help him resurrect no matter the cost and sacrifices made.

Image taken from Chapter 113

Despite the canon information about labeling Mika as the son of Shikama, there’s something rather trickish with the details given, what do I mean?

First of all, despite the lack of continuity in the Mikaela LNs, it is hinted that for so long, Rigr Stafford and Ferid Bathory seeked those carrying out the Michaela trait; and of course, with years, only Mika carried out both genes, the Seraph and the Michaela trait. But, even so, the story is slowly and gradually showing that it is highly possible that there’s a huge gap between Mikaela and Mika; is there solid proof?

There is:

Image taken from Chapter 114

Rigr points out that Shikama indeed found out a child who appeared in front of the Hyakuya Orphanage to meet the standards for the resurrection of his son, but it isn’t mentioned that his son reincarnated, but rather, a vessel for Mikaela was found.

Of course, Rigr kept delaying such scenario over and over until we reached the current events of the story, but, how does this relate to the question of the theory title?

Easy. Yuu is not focused on resurrectinng Mika from 16 years ago, but rather, he’s focusing to bring back the existance of Mikaela. But isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t it the same Mika?

Image taken from Chapter 120

For this, the answer is no. Certain reader might point out that it’s the authors story and while it’s indeed true that it is Kagami’s story at the end of the day, stories take the elemental essence of inspiration and ultimately, in order to dig into such topics, Owari is certainly not the first to touch the topics of resurrection, cloning processes, memory transfer, vessels or tools. 

In fact other anime/game title stories touch reincarnation including books that focus on doing the action such as: REGRESSION. Along this, there’s a phrase that I love so much and I’d love to quote it:

“The World allows a mind to find another matching vessel, but does not allow a vessel to gather the pieces of a mind”.

And perhaps you’ll wonder, what touches or dwelves this phrase upon, it’s simple; humans are unique, we have certain factors that determinate who we are despite sharing charms, characteristics, ideals and goals; that elemental point that makes or gives us identity even with the spawn of time, centuries and the possibility of reincarnation, cannot be replicated; the only way to save someone would be going to the past and alter it to give such being a new possibility.

But, what does this have to do with Mika’s resurrection?

Mikaela is certainly a character that misfortune focused due to all the things that have happened to him, but there’s one interesting detail and that is the very fact that he holds “key points” for elements of the story and the topic about the resurrection is no exception:

Image taken from chapter 106

Mikaela as a character is wary of his own footsteps in contrary with Yuu, therefore, there’s also another key element to mark the difference between Mika and Mikaela, what could it be?

A demon’s mind.

Once a vampire turns into a demon, they suffer amnesia depending a lot on the circumstances they were turned into; in contrary to Mika, vampires such as Ashera, Noya, Byakkomaru, Raimeiki, Gekkouin and Kiseki-O who were turned by the First and held sanity along his memories:

Image taken from Chapter 106

Back when Mika was exploring Yuu’s inner memories, he spotted the demons that are currently sealed in their respective cursed gears; nevertheless, the demons present had their own memories, will and loyalty towards the First; which of course, such memories were temporaly blocked until the required trigger was lifted.

But, in Mika’s case, the memories he recovered were the ones he lived through his 16 years of life; there wasn’t even a trace from a distant past; and even despite him seeing Shikama Doji present, it was evident that he didn’t grreet him with a smile or with the warmness he was supposed to feel towards a parent; this is even highlighted by Shikama himself after spotting Mikaela, instead of ensuring or giving a hug; the air he gave was intimidating: 

Image taken from chapter 106

But despite all these key points; Yuu’s goal stopped being focused on just giving Mika his humanity back, but rather, he is now focused on resurrecting him along his catchy phrase of resurrecting everyone, which is impossible. (For that, there’s a topic about it).

Even if the resurrection were to happen, there are some details that need to be explored.

And lastly, to give further strength to this theory, there’s just another surprise left that will be discussed in another theory, perhaps some might know about it, perhaps it has been long forgotten.

What kind of surprise will be?

What do you think dear readers?

Yes I love the gif, eheh!

[blood--king]

◢ Gᴏʟᴅ ғᴀɴɢs

"𝑨𝒏 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚, 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌. 𝑰𝒕𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚"

╔═════════════•°✝°•═════════════╗

𝑻𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔:

1. Exo-Lore.

2. Macro-Lore.

3. Micro-Lore.

4. Chronical.

══════════════•°✝°•══════════════

𝟏. 𝑬𝒙𝒐-𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒆

First at all, Hell is a secondary character of our book: After Five, which is being published on Wattpad (only available on Spanish at the moment). In that book, you will see an hole new universe based on certain cultures and imagination. You all are invited to pick an eye in our book, because it actually is our biggest project.

══════════════•°✝°•══════════════

𝟐. 𝑴𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐-𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒆.

The universe presented in the book is called Nix, it is governed by a broad hierarchy of gods going in the following order from lowest to highest: God, Titan, Hyper God and Primordial God. The Primordials are those creators of the universe and those who make possible all the fantastic things that happen in it. Some of the examples of these wonders is that all the planets of said universe share the same Sun and Moon, although these stars would not be conceived in the same way that we conceive them in our world.

The Nix has very different rules than ours, for example: Life does not age, a creature is capable of living without aging for eternity; it is possible to beget children from people of the same sex; all living creatures except plants and microorganisms have a human level of intelligence or higher.

The planets of the Nix are organized in Galaxies, which are arranged in Galactic Systems. The Nix has three known Galactic Systems, they are called: Keres, Eris and Nemesis; together making a total of 26 galaxies.

In the vast universe that is the Nix there is an immense variety of creatures (all documented and detailed in a Bestiary in the future) most of these are raffled by all galaxies but some creatures are endemic to some galaxy or system. That's when we come across vampires, if we analyze it these are very different from vampires of other fandoms, but let's not get into biological technicalities (at least not yet).

What matters to us is that Hell is the main god of all vampires in the universe.

══════════════•°✝°•══════════════

𝟑. 𝑴𝒊𝒄𝒓𝒐-𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒆

Hell is the king of the Kingdom of Blood, formerly known as the Empire of Blood. He belongs to the founding family of vampires, in fact, he is the grandson of the first vampire.

The vampire empire arose as a military force dedicated to spreading vampirism and extinguishing the natural enemies of this species, the Lycans (which ones we could compare with werewolves).

The second king of this empire dedicated himself rather to bringing wealth and prosperity to his people in the most warlike and monstrous ways possible.

It is true that Hell was king at his young age of 15 years but only of a medium kingdom of vampires belonging to planet Earth, this planet is related to a myth in the universal culture of Nix, however each species has its version of said story .

Hell's uncle, the previous king, placed several kingdoms under the same empire on Earth and Hell as king of one of them. Many years later, due to an unidentified catastrophe, this king dies and it is in Hell that he has the duty to assume the mandate over the entire empire. Hell then decided to be slightly more pacifist, reducing the wars as much as he could until a devastating event occurred on the planet.

Although, another species of great power, the angels, took control claiming to be the saviors of humanity and were willing to eradicate the "pests of nature". Hell and his kingdom were one of these "plagues" and instead of a war Hell preferred to reduce his borders in such a way that the angels would not consider him a greater threat. Some time later, this angelic government falls, although his influence is still in force, and that is when we find the current Hell, who makes every effort to compensate with prosperity for all those years of isolation that his people had to live.

Point out that the Bloodborne surname is one that is feared and respected throughout the Nix and even in dimensions such as Hellrealm (1) . Hell is not a king to underestimate, the fact that he is less warlike than the previous kings does not make him any less, after all he has the title of God by blood right, and he has not hesitated for a second when he had no choice but to go to the war.

══════════════•°✝°•══════════════

𝟒. 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍.

Chronical is a dimension where space and time are together and at the same time separate. It is a place where all the possibilities, moments in time and variants of people share the same infinite space. Putting it into an image I could describe it as walking through Paris and seeing the Statue of Liberty in the distance on top of a sand dune. Twisted, right? Well, in this dimension it is possible, the impossible ceases to be a barrier and becomes the link that connects everything.

This is a place where such amazing things happen, such as the fact that a character is aware that they are part of a book, and that they can have tea with its author while they chat calmly.

↠ Chronical is a space in which there is no need for context and therefore is ideal for some interactions.

◢ 𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 (🕐)

【Ask】 It would make possible questions such as the character's opinion regarding its own author, or that said character has proof of what happens in the different AU's in which he is involved.

【Interaction】 In case you choose a Chronical interaction you can specify a place, a situation or that the characters are aware of something specific, the limit is your imagination.

↠ Of course, it is not possible to impose emotions or attitudes, only information or environment.

◢ We remind you, that when it doesn't take place in Chronical, it means that you are under Nix's rules, therefore you will actually meet the king in his kingdom.

╚═════════════•°✝°•═════════════╝

↠ Footer:

(1) Here I must make a clarification: the Nix has its own language but when transferred to the eyes of the reader, it happens to have the language of it, this is because I am aware of the meaning of the name Hell in English, however it does not have that connotation in its original context, so that there is no confusion I have decided to name Hellrealm what we know as Hell, you know, demons, evil souls, those things.

◢【Change of clothes】

[toweringclam]

Paramount City: The Breakers' Union pt 2 (Colors and Characters)

Overview, The Metropolitan Defenders, The Underground Pt 1, The Underground Pt 2, The Breakers' Union Part 1

The Breakers' Union is centered in Red mana, as they're primarily concerned with opposing the system. However, while Green mana pulls them towards higher ideals like revolution and social change, Black mana pulls them towards base self-interest. While in the past they had too much of a siege mentality to really care about such distinctions, the power vacuum following the Phyrexian invasion has suddenly made victory a real possibility. It's time for the Breakers to decide whether they want something more than just the next big score.

Firebrand (BRG) is their latest leader. Her control over elemental fire is dwarfed by her power over hearts and minds. With her impassioned speeches, she can inflame passions, both literally and metaphorically, boosting the morale of those who share her ideals. Something inside the Great Vault at the heart of the latest Breakers' Squat is calling to her, and she just knows if she can get ahold of it, she'll be able to create the world she's always dreamed of, whatever that may be.

The Vanguard are centered in Green mana. They're revolutionaries and anarchists who seek to bring down the entire system of Paramount city. Though some don't see themselves as villains, others adopt the moniker nonetheless as a badge of pride. Their goals and methods put them on the wrong side of the law, but to them, the law is wrong and therefore not worthy of respect.

Krash Kaboom! (RG, Goblin) is one example. Ages ago, before the dawn of mankind, her people ruled the earth as giants (or so they say). They tend to stay out of sight of humans, but she ventured close enough to hear a speech by Firebrand. Fired up, she presented herself to the humans with a few small explosions, and to her surprise they welcomed her as one of their own. Now she seeks to bring down the surface world so her people can be free once again.

The Raiders are centered in Black mana. They're dedicated career crooks and they take pride in that fact. Murderers and thieves, mercenaries and bank robbers; all they care about is the cash they have at the end of the day. They'd burn down the city if they could just to pluck gold fillings from the ashes. Still, there is some honor among thieves, and they see the benefits of taking care of their own.

Malvorius (BR, vampire) is an example. An ancient and decadent vampire who staves off the ennui of eternal life through thrill-seeking. While they're a huge financial backer of the Breakers' Union, their jobs are as notorious for big payouts as they are low survival rates. Malvorius never asks others to take a risk they won't take themselves though that's a lot easier when you're immortal.

Admittedly, these two groups are less factions and more tendencies. Some villains fall more in one direction, some in another. Most don't really care. Henchmen are always looking for new gigs. Wannabe masterminds are always looking to hire goons. And some people just like causing trouble for no reason. There's also a significant minority who don't even care about the union at all, they just have a score to settle with a particular hero.

Emyr Elk (BG, Elk) is one of the latter. Deep in the northern taiga is a secret city where sapient deer, elk, and moose live in peace, away from man and other predators. However, not all are so gentle, and Emyr was exiled for his violent ways and practice of forbidden necromancy. He once thought he found a kindred soul in Jack O'-the-Harts, but when he realized Jack allowed hunting of the deer under his care, the two became mortal enemies. Emyr is always scheming to take down Jack and gain access to the secret deer graveyard hidden within Cambo Park

[afterdusk-if]

After Dusk is an interactive novel set within our world that may be a little different than you recall.

Setting: New York City

Genre(s): Thriller, Mystery, Supernatural, Low-Fantasy.

Warning(s): This story is rated 18+ for depictions of alcohol consumption, strong language, murder, blood, sexual themes, and horrible puns.

Scenario and NSFW asks are welcomed.

DEMO (TBA)

The year is 1947…

You’re one of the most reputable private investigators within the great establishment that is New York City. Having solved dozens of cases— from the simplest cheating spouse jobs to tracking down people that don’t want to be tracked— you were the go to person for anyone in need of help.

If said person was of the supernatural variety, of course.

After all you’re one of the only few humans that know of their existence; of the world within your own so to speak. Having taken the reigns of your grandfathers legacy after his passing.

Everything was going good— albeit your caseload was getting rather dry— and you were even thinking about buying the new loft down on Fifth. You never expected how drastically your life was about to change.

And then your next client walked through the door…

Play as a PI within the sprawling landscape of 1940s NYC; where mobsters and monsters roam the streets.

Try your best to uncover all the facts within your new case… as it could very well be the last thing you ever do.

Interact with a variety of different characters. From humans to werewolves to witches; nothing is off the table.

Customizable MC: name, gender, sexuality, appearance, some background choices, and a smattering of other things that may crop up during the story.

Romance 1 of 6 possible options that will offer unique experiences for your MCs. (4 being gender selectable, 1 being male, and the other being female.)

Will you be able to solve the mystery that has entrenched you so?

Or will it be lost in the night?

Colton Jones [M] - The Journalist

31 [5’8” | Light Brown Eyes | Dark Brown Hair]

Species: Human

With a dashing smile, Colton has always been able to worm his way into even the most hard to reach places. His skill of charm— the ease in which he can speak with people— is the exact reason why you need him to help you; as you also need all of the possible sources he can bring to the table too. Maybe it could turn into more?

Vera Hayes [F] - The Singer

29 [5’10” | Hazel Eyes | Golden Brown Hair]

Species: Witch

The star of the affluent Empire Room— a hotspot for the richest, and sometimes dangerous, individuals within New York City— that has a witty retort to everything you may throw at her. You knew that you needed her as she was an excellent source to have on the inside. You just need to make sure the lines don’t blur too much.

Nathan/Natasha Sinclair [M/F] - The Client

200+ [6’4” | Emerald Green Eyes | Light Blonde Hair]

Species: Vampire

Your newest client— the one that started this entire thing— with a story you know isn’t the complete truth but who’s willing to pay you triple your normal rate. A price that you’re certain they’d be able to pay in full; if their outfit and demeanor is anything to go by. Their aloof attitude, mixed with the seriousness in which they hold themselves, would be show-stopper to some but you couldn’t but be intrigued.

Tyler/Taylor Avery [M/F] - The Partner

32 [5’5” | Golden Brown Eyes | Auburn Hair]

Species: Werewolf

Your pseudo-partner that has helped you for as long as you could remember; someone you always know you can count on in your time of need. This time isn’t any different as they’re by your side the moment you call them with information about the new case. Their ever-present smile and can-do attitude already brightening up the dreary morning.

Ethan/Emily Clarke [M/F] - The Detective

33 [6’0 | Slate Grey Eyes | Ash Brown Hair]

Species: Human

Not technically having any jurisdiction within most parts of NYC, you need to have help from Detective Clarke every now and then. Something that’s always met with a patented eye roll, a shake of their head, and the slightest quirking of their lips; a threat to leave you stranded escaping their lips as they help you out for the umpteenth time. It’s a threat that they never followed through on… this time isn’t any different.

Leon/Lena Barone [M/F] - The Mobster

33 [6’2” | Sapphire Blue Eyes | Raven Black Hair]

Species: Half-Breed

The Barone Crime Family is one of the most infamous families within all of NYC; nothing, and no one, can ever come close to touching them. Partly in thanks to the heir of the entire family. An heir that you know you need if you’re going to make the waves you need within the Empire Room. You just hope that the stories about them aren’t true. As you don’t particularly wish to wind up in the Hudson come daybreak. Beggars can’t be choosers, however.

[therealvinelle]

Thoughts on Esme?

I have them.

To start with, I see Esme quite differently from the way this fandom appears to see her, yet also quite differently from the way Meyer intended for me to see her.

I think we all on this website have noticed that fandom has morphed Esme into a very different character than the one we met in the books.

Now, some people take this further than others, and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t tell if fandom believes this new and shinier Esme is canon, or if they know she isn’t canon but don’t care. Either way, the common denominator to all variations of fanon Esme is that this fandom is sick of the way Stephenie Meyer writes women, and see Esme as the worst affected by all. And fanon Esme is a vindication, one where Esme is an assertive, intelligent, feminist woman with a fantastic sex life and an impressive career. The ideal American woman of the 21st century.

And to each their own - if this makes people happy, then by all means. This meta is my personal opinion on her, though, and since fanon Esme has gained such a strong foothold in fandom I would be amiss not to bring her up.

Another thing I’d be amiss not to bring up is movie Esme. The Esme portrayed in the movies is, like so many of the characters, a different person than the one in the books. She is charming, warm, appears to have no difficulty controlling herself, and off the top of my head I can think of one time where she’s given what was originally Carlisle’s moment. I’m talking about sparing Bree - in the books this is something only Carlisle would do, something that has the others going, “jeez, Carlisle, only you”. In the film, this is a decision he and Esme make as a couple. This changes both their characters.

So, these versions of Esme exist, and they’re good characters, but they’re not the Esme I see in the books.

What we meet in canon is a woman who contents herself with being a 50’s housewife. No one in the house eats, she still knows how to cook. Making beautiful homes and keeping them beautiful is not just her passion, it appears to be all she wants to do. Now, humans can be housewives, and that’s a choice I respect very much, but Esme is a vampire, living in a vampire coven. The Cullens have zero need for a housewives. And she doesn’t do other things, either. There is only the creation of homes and being a mother. 

And so Esme floats through eternity, embodying the Mother archetype, going through all the motions mothers do with no deeper meaning to any of it.

She gives me the creeps.

I don’t know if anyone here has read Coraline, but in that book we meet the Other Mother. Other Mother always has time for Coraline, she makes all the delicious food Coraline could ever want, and loves her very much. The cat tells us that this may be, Other Mother may love Coraline, but it could also just be she wants to eat her. And since Bella does end up sowing buttons into her eyes, I can’t shake the association.

I think the Esme Platt who ran away to fend for herself and her child, who got a job and struggled to be independent, died with her child. This was her last tie to hope, to this world, and with his death she gave up on life in a way nothing could meaningfully recall.

She then wakes up as a vampire, beautiful (I’m guessing here, but one of the most common things men like to insult women is by demeaning our appearance. An abusive husband, living with Esme in a time where a woman’s appearance decided her worth even more than it does today, would definitely use this against her. Not to mention, it is a cornerstone in female socialization that we’re taught to value our looks. Becoming inhumanly beautiful would boost anybody’s spirits and install confidence, and I doubt Esme was an exception), stronger and faster than any human man, invulnerable, powerful in a way she never dreamed she could be. 

The man she idolized since she was a child, who was supposed to be an unattainable dream, is there, and even more wonderful than she remembered. He’s the one who saved her, and within the year he becomes her husband. 

(This by itself is too fantastical, too storybook ending, and I imagine snapped whatever remaining strings Esme still had tethering her to sanity. Any newborn vampire would find themselves in a surreal new state of being, but this is a step further. There’s getting to have it all, and then there’s... well, then there’s this.)

Then there is Edward. Days after she lost her son, she’s presented with a young man who lost his mother. 

(And this might be a post of its own, but: we never see Esme be a mother to any of the other Cullens, and I don’t think she is. It’s just Edward. And she loves him all the more for it. She wouldn’t blink at Bella dying if Edward decided his thirst weighed heavier than his fascination with the human. This is canon - they have a conversation about this, and Esme make her stance clear. She puts Edward above absolutely everything else in this world.)

What I’m getting at here, is that Esme was handed perfection on a silver platter. All the things she’d lost, all the things she’d lacked, things that had been taken from her in the cruelest manner possible, were now given to her, in perfect condition at that. Esme will never have to worry about things like money, sickness, aging, or even Edward growing up and leaving the nest. (And even when he does get married and have a baby, he still doesn’t leave the nest!)

Esme was given the ultimate do-over with vampirism, and she spends it being what she never got to be in life. (And I’ll link this post, because Bella’s in the same situation, if less extreme, and they’re both in for a rude awakening. And I don’t think Esme will cope at all.)

To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife. It’s her tailored paradise, eternal and perfect. There’s the fact that every so often she slips up and eats people, but that only adds to the eeriness of it all.

Esme Cullen is more a ghost story than a vampire to me, haunting whichever house the Cullens inhabit under the guise of being a homebody.

(As for the her supposed sex life with Carlisle - Meyer said they have a spiritual relationship. That’s hilarious, and code for they’re not having sex.)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Would you happen to have any fic recs that involve John meeting the Holmes family? I always think that's such an interesting dynamic to see! Also, I think this goes without saying but I love your blog and appreciate your contributions to the fandom! Thanks!

Hey Nonny!

Ah, thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

Oooo! Yes, I love that dynamic too!! ANNNNND!!! You’re giving me the chance to make a part 2 for a REALLY OLD LIST!!! So YAY!!! I found a bunch on a text doc I haven’t posted yet, so HERE WE GO! Hope you enjoy, and as always, everyone please add your own!

PARENTS AND FAMILIES Pt. 2

See also: 

Parents & Family

Meeting the Family With a Fake Relationship

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

The Only Available Transportation by blueink3 (T, 5,379 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Sherlock, Caring John, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Birthday, Family, Misunderstandings) – It’s possibly the desperation that’s seeped into his voice despite his best intentions, or perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, but she knows that whatever he’s calling about is Serious, hangover be damned. “What’s happened?” she asks, tone soft and as comforting as a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s night. “Mummy,” he begins, voice catching. “I think John may be moving out.”

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by 2bee (T, 7,772 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Minor Character Death, Sort of Parentlock) – The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

The Name Game by ItsClydeBitches221B (K, 8,958 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Family, Platonics / Friendship, Sort-of Parentlock, John/Mary, Mary is Nice, Five and Ones, Baby Watson, Mycroft Loves Baby Watson) – The names that baby girl Watson comes up with for her extended family. Or: how everyone—Watsons, Holmes, and others alike— just learned to give up and embrace their weirdness.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w., 10 Ch. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a "normal" family. It's easy enough to pretend when all you're doing is dropping the act.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Where The Ghosts Have Voices by HappyJuicyfruit (M, 37,691 w., 12 Ch. || Supernatural AU || Ghosts, Magical Realism, Light Horror, Fluff and Smut, John Can See Ghosts, John Whump, Emotional Manipulation, Dark Magic, Coma, Injury Recovery, Blow Jobs, Anal, Happy Ending, John’s Past, Mr Holmes, Powerful John, Holmes Brothers, Sherlock’s Past, Past Viclock, Drug Abuse, Hair Pulling) – John has lived his whole life as an outcast. It is only when he meets Sherlock, that be realizes being a freak might not be such a bad thing, and that the curse he has lived with his whole life may be a gift after all. (TO READ)

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[thechangeling]

But you like her better: Part 1

This fic features Kit's potential new girlfriend hinted at in a letter from Tessa to Magnus in CC's newsletter. A bunch of people in the fandom built her from the ground up @littlx-songbxrd @foxglove-airmid @the-wckd-powers @adoravel-fenomeno and @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood to name a few, and gave her a personality, name and backround. Their name is Marí.

Kit uses he/they pronouns in this fic and Marí uses she/they.

Cw: Disassociation (or at least how I experience it idk it might not be the same for everyone), negative self talk, self injurious stims, and bad coping mechanisms.

Title is from Heather by Conan Gray.

Marìa. Marí as she preferred to be called, was a bubbly kind soul with a wide inviting smile and a melodic voice.

Even Ty could admit that they were quite beautiful, despite not seeing women (or in Marí's case anyone who was particularly alienated with womanhood,) in a romantic or sexual light. It took him awhile to realize he was gay, but when he did it just seemed so obvious. He had gone through a minor phase of experimentation at the scholomance when he was younger but it hadn't lasted long.

Still Marí was stunning. And perhaps what made her even more stunning was her kindness and generosity. Ty had met her on the beach in LA while she and her parents were visiting the LA institute for a downworlder/shadowhunter summit being held by Helen, Aline, Mark and Cristina, similar to the one Julian held in 2012.

Ty noticed that Tessa and Jem were present, but Kit was not. He was not exactly sure how that should make him feel. So Ty elected to push the pain in his chest further down. To shove all if his unresolved feelings and worries and questions about Kit Herondale back into the metaphorical box and move on.

So he had gone outside to walk on the beach to distract himself when he found Marí sitting on the sand and crying.

Apparently according to them, they had come across a few dead moon jellyfish, or Aurelia aurita as was more scientifically accurate, that had washed up on the beach.

Ty remembered being moved by how she had such compassion for another living creature who wasn't even a person. It was rare. Ty had helped her bury them. She seemed wary and a little hostile around him at first, noticing his runes. She was clutching her body tightly. Ty noticed her anxiety and told her how he was also a lover of aquatic life and he found marine biology fascinating. This had prompted her to instantly change demeanor and become very excited and start jumping up and down and waving her hands before she told him that she was studying marine biology at university in Devon.

The mention of Devon should gave promoted Ty to wonder if Marí knew Kit but he was still putting up mental blocks to protect himself from the Kit situation so it hadn't crossed Ty's mind.

They had sat on the beach and talked for hours. Marí told him their name and that they used she/they pronouns. They also told Ty that they were from Devon, but their family was from Loiza, a city on the Northeastern coast of Puerto Rico. And also that they were all werewolves who pretty much hated shadowhunters but he seemed ok because he liked jellyfish. They mentioned that marine biology was one of their special interests and that they were autistic and had ADHD.

It would have been the perfect opportunity to tell Marí about him also being autistic but Ty being guarded and asocial, decided not to and told her as little as possible. He supposed he had some trust issues after everything. He mentioned his name, that he was attending the scholomance, and a few basic facts about his family. He also talked about his friend Alyssa Reyes. 

Alyssa or Ali as he called her, was a werewolf with Maia's pack in New York. She was assigned as a liaison to the scholomance to act as a bridge between the werewolves and future centurions. And BOY had she complained about it. Alyssa was basically the president of the fuck shadowhunters club and she was autistic and had ADHD. She and Marí would have gotten along quite well.

Marí overall did most of the talking but she didn't seem to mind. On the contrary.

Ty had no idea that by that point they were already dating Kit.

When Kit returned with apologetic smiles and a new found charisma and confidence, he also brought her. And she was so happy to see Ty again that he felt so guilty for feeling torn up inside.

Ty couldn't hate Marí. Not even if he tried. They hadn't done anything wrong and neither had Kit. So Ty would just have to settle for hating himself for being angry over nothing.

Kit and Ty weren't really talking. Sure they had exchanged some words together when basically forced to, but Kit was being standoffish and Ty was still feeling a little annoyed. But mostly hurt. Ty had heard that Kit was using he/they pronouns and now identified as genderfluid. He had so many questions for Kit but Ty knew he couldn't ask. At least not right now.

Currently Ty was watching Kit and Marí talking. Kit was in the middle of telling her what looked to be a funny story based on the way she was laughing. Kit pushed a lock of dark curly hair back behind her ear and smiled.

Ty felt queasy. He bit his lip and averted his gaze trying to shake off the horrible feeling. Everytime he saw them together his chest felt like it was being squeezed by a juicer. Like he was being crushed and torn up on the inside and it was his fault. Just like it was his fault that Kit left. Or maybe that wasn't true. Maybe it was just inevitable but that didn't make it any easier.

Ty didn't have the right to be jealous or upset. He had no claim over Kit. He was being ridiculous he told himself as he attempted to shove all of these dark feelings into the box.

But this time it wasn't working.

"Alright you look like you're about to snap crackle and pop," Ty heard a voice say beside him. "What gives Sherlock?"

Ty looked up to see Alyssa Reyes standing next to him. When they had all congregated together in the LA institute and Kit had brought Marí and his friend Janessa back with them. Ty had decided to bring his lucky charm and close friend with him.

When Alyssa first came to the scholomance things were quite rough. But they had connected, first on the basis of being autistic and then through other things. Ali also had a love of mysteries and the two of them together were quite the team. The two of them had become incredibly close. Anush called her Irene because she was the only one who could outsmart Ty.

Speaking of Anush..

He was currently still back at the scholomance. They had both decided it was best for him to stay behind so they could spend some time apart. They had recently broken up after Ty finally realized he wasn't in a good place emotionally to date anyone. Ty had been forced to put Livvy's spirit to rest permanently when it started to have an affect on the mortal world negativity. It had been Livvy herself who had begged Ty to save the world at her expense.

That had been about a month ago and Ty was still relatively numb. He had a feeling it would begin to hurt eventually. Just not yet.

"Hey did you hear me?" Alyssa raised her voice. "What's wrong?" Ty refocused on his friend.

She was wearing her costume for the Halloween party they were all attending tonight. Kit, Ty, Dru, Alyssa, Marí, Jaime, Janessa and Thaís. It was Dru herself who had suggested they need a break from essentially preparing themselves for what was probably going to be another war. So they were headed to a vampire hosted party at a club in downtown LA. Alyssa had been sure to grab earplugs for Ty and herself which he was grateful for.

Alyssa was dressed as Aeryn Sun from Farscape, one of the many autistic coded characters from scifi that she was obsessed with. She was wearing a long black leather trench coat with black leather pants and a black tank top. Her dark brown hair was pulled back onto a long braid traveling down to her lower back. She even had leather boots and a fake blaster gun holstered at her thigh to complete the look.

And Ty of course, was dressed as Sherlock.

Ty shook his head at her. "Nothing Ali I'm fine."

Alyssa glowered at him. "Bullshit you're fine. I thought we agreed never to lie to each other?"

Ty sighed, gazing back at Kit and Marí, still smiling at each other. Alyssa followed his gaze.

"Oh you're jealous aren't you!" She declared matter of factly. Ty instantly shushed her.

"Oh relax they can't hear us, she muttered. We're too far away." She twirled her long braid and stimmed with the ends of it. "You know if you plan on taking your anger out on that lovely girl, a member of our COMMUNITY no less, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, then I'm like legally required to throw hands," she said with a smile.

Ty didn't smile back. "I wouldn't," he murmered, looking down. He had been flicking his fingers lazily at his sides, but now Ty found that wasn't good enough. He dug his fingernails into his right palm.

Alyssa looked concerned. "Hey I was just kidding," she said softly. She took his hand that had been creating little half-moon red divots on his skin and carefully threaded his fingers through her own.

Ali squeezed Ty's hand. "You know I'm on your side no matter what." He squeezed back.

Ty looked at the couple again. Emotions swirled all around his heart like little ribbons grazing against the sides. It wasn't just jealousy neccessary and Ty was a little shocked to find that he wasn't angry anymore. He was just...what?

Sad?

Sad didn't even begin to feel like it covered it. He felt so lost. And alone. And.... He felt himself starting to drift away, separating from himself. Ty could hear the fuzzy far away echo of someone trying to speak to him, but he couldn't make out the words. They were getting further and further away.

Everything was blurry and out of focus.

"Ty!" He heard a voice shout. With a jolt he was snapped back into his body. He turned to face Alyssa who was staring at him, looking obviously alarmed.

But the worst part was that everyone else was staring at him too. Including Kit. They looked  shocked, but also something else that Ty couldn't quite pinpoint. There was an air of desperation to their voice when they asked,

"Are you ok?"

Was Ty ok?

It was such a funny question coming from Kit who hadn't spoken more than two words to him this whole time.

Kit who had left.

Ty didn't know what else to do except laugh. He burst laughing hysterically, almost falling from his position of where he was leaning against the wall. He desperately tried to gasp for air as he cackled.

Everyone was staring at him looking horrified. Dru pulled out her phone as if she was contemplating calling someone, then decided against it. Tears were starting to roll down Ty's cheeks as he kept laughing.

Alyssa grabbed his arm. "Alright, come with me," she ordered, dragging him to the side. Ty managed to stop laughing as she guided him firmly into the training room.

Ty's eyes were still blurry with tears, so he wiped them away. Alyssa was smiling at him softly, looking sympathetic. "It's gonna be ok Ty,: she cooed, taking his hand again. Alyssa began to rub slow soothing circles onto his palm.

"Ok, you wanna tell me what's going on now?" She asked gently. Ty sniffed and used his other hand to wipe away the rest of his tears.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted. "I don't know how to describe or explain it.

Alyssa nodded. "Well, try. You can use quotes or song lyrics if you want." Ty smiled. He was grateful that Ali understood.

Ty chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment. "It feels like a tear in my heart. Like a part of me is missing and I just can't feel it," he quoted. Alyssa stared at him, pondering. She continued to stroke his hand.

"Do you think what you're missing is Kit?" She asked. "Do you miss him?"

Ty glared at Alyssa and snatched his hand back. "No," he said firmly. "I don't."

Ali rolled her eyes. "Jesus you're almost as bad at love as I am! It's like trying to open a rusted toolbox with a fork getting you to open up!" She snapped.

Ty bared his teeth under closed lips and glowered at her. "Well maybe I never asked for your help!"

"Well maybe you should calm down and recognize that I'm your friend and I'm worried about you!" She shouted back.

Guilt instantly washed over him, pricking his skin. Ty squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry Ali," he whispered.

He wished he could cry. Now more than ever Ty wished he could make himself cry. Over Livvy, over Kit. Over the coming battle. Over everything.

"Do you love them?" He heard her ask. There was no need to ask who she meant.

Ty opened his eyes. This was the thing he never acknowledged. Never said outloud. Never even let himself think it. Because it was terrifying. The acknowledgement of the truth.

The truth was that Ty would probably give his life just to see that adorable smile one more time. That he could tell you how many freckles Kit had because he had spent so many hours staring at Kit and counting them.

The truth was that when Kit held him, he felt closer to anyone then he ever had in his entire life. Ty had sat outside of Kit's door for hours, days even when they had first arrived because he had felt something, even then. Something pulling at him from the other side of that door like a magnet. He told himself it was just curiosity. A scientific curiosity.

It was the only thing that could logically explain Ty's obsession. It wasn't serious. It wasn't-

"I love him," Ty admitted shakily, breaking the silence. Even Alyssa looked a little suprised.

"I'm in love with Kit."

Before Ali could respond, Ty sensed movement by the training room door which they had forgotten to close. Ty instantly whipped around to see who it was, wondering frantically if they had overheard what Ty had said.

Standing in the door frame wearing her Mortica Addams costume for the party, complete with a jet black long wig was Marí.

And the look on their face suggested to Ty that they had heard every word.

I will try and get part 2 up as soon as I can! It will be from Marí's perspective.

The song Ty quotes is Can you hold me by NF.

Tag list: @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies   @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @arangiajoan @queenlilith43 @adoravel-fenomeno

[chicleeblair]

All links go to AO3 .  My fanfiction.net profile is here

Currently updating:

Uncomfortably Numb (Grey's Anatomy, M) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan, Lexie Grey/Original Character Meredith isn't the only Grey to make it home alive after the plane crash. How do Lexie's survival affect everyone's recovery from their ordeal? With Mark gone and returning to the O.R. as a surgeon an unlikelihood in her uncertain future, can sweet, independent, Alexandra Caroline Grey really say she's survived?

A Child’s Garden - (Wynonna Earp, T) Nicole Haught/Waverly Earp, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holiday, Wynonna Earp/Others

The books lying around the Homestead don’t all belong to Waverly. An exploration of who Wynonna is, and how she got to be that way.

Completed

First, Do No Harm - (Grey’s Anatomy, E/NC-17) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd. 

Summary:After an attack in the ER renders her temporarily deaf with her jaw wired shut, Meredith fears that Derek only rushed away from the NIH out of obligation. Her injuries lead him to confront the invisible damage he’s done to her and to their relationship. Is this is a six-week truce, or will their skill at non-verbal conversation wll keep their marriage from shattering with the silence?

Dawn of Redeeming Grace: - (Grey’s Anatomy, E/NC-17) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

Summary: Six weeks after Derek left to take the NIH job, Meredith is ready to use the holidays to prove she has this working mom thing on lock. Sure, he neglected to tell her he'd be bringing a guest, but whatever, 'Tis the season for truces. Even Ellis Grey took the day off. But with every moment of family togetherness, a return to the trenches seems more impossible. Can a few days of peace put their relationship back on track, or has she fallen for the illusion of a snow-globe, destined to either settle or shatter?

+ Love’s Pure Light:  - (Grey’s Anatomy, K+/Teen) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

Summary: Five Years after Dawn of Redeeming Grace, Ellis Shepherd decides her parents need a Christmas wedding. It’s been a year without much to celebrate, and Meredith does need a distraction from possibly losing her career. 

Kindly Stop for Me [32/32]- (Grey’s Anatomy, M) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Past Meredith Grey/Sadie Harris

What kind of person flees on the night of her husband’s funeral and ends up hitting overwhelmed twelve-thousand miles away to her ex-lover's city? A Meredith Grey type.

A “What Happened in San Diego?” fic.

As Cool As I Am [5/5]— (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, past Meredith Grey/Sadie Harris, past Meredith Grey/OCs,

When Meredith Grey realizes that almost no one in her life now knows that she’s bisexual, she decides to change that. In the process of coming out to Grey Sloan Memorial, she starts to see her past, present, and future differently, especially because everyone seems to have the same question: Did Ellis Grey know?

Refusing to Slay Silent, (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, T) Buffy Summers/Faith Lehane

There are parts of being a slayer Buffy never discusses. Faith never talks about her life before being called. When they finally discover how much of those secrets they share, they make it their mission to keep history from repeating. None of the new Chosen will feel they should bear their burdens alone. What's less certain is if they've kept their skeletons locked in the closet too long to make a difference in their own lives.(Post-Chosen)

Preserve and Persevere (Newsflesh, T) Alisa Kwong/sort-of-Original Female Character

Alisa Kwong barely escaped the Second Rising thanks to the Masons—both sets—but the trauma of that day follows her as she grows up to become a new kind of Newsie—one who refuses to believe that a world with zombies has to revolve around them all the time. Slings & Arrows characters show up about a third of the way in, and knowledge of that show is not necessary. (Yuletide 2018)

without a hurt (the heart is hollow), (Torchwood, M) Captain Jack Harkness/Gwen Cooper, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams

Written for tw_bigbang Jack has been gone for over a year, and Gwen is up to her eyeballs keeping the darkness from overwhelming Cardiff. She doesn't want to accept the task given to her by a mysterious woman on a windy night, but an accident gives her no choice. Millennia and miles away Jack has done all that he can to forget his past. Gwen must decide whether she will help him regain his memory, or if she would rather lose herself in the ether. (Post-CoE)

In My Daughter’s Eyes, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Gen 

Ellis Grey attempts to balance raising her daughter with her career, a constant struggle. (Pre-Canon)

Searching for a Seattle Sky, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan

During the turmoil of trying for a baby, adopting Zola and nearly tearing apart her marriage, Meredith forgot her fears about becoming a mother. Now she remembers, and Lexie's the only one who can help rid her of them for good. (Season 7)

Ever Ever After, (Companion to Searching for a Seattle Sky, can stand alone, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd  

Meredith Grey was never a Disney person...until her daughter taught her to believe. Companion to Searching for a Seattle Sky. (Season 7)

Fade Away, (Grey’s Anatomy, M) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd 

A pink-haired girl sitting on the stone steps of a high school finds herself strangely attracted to the surgical intern on a motorcycle sent by her mother to bail her out of the principal's office. (Pre-Canon AU)

Still Holding On, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/George O’Malley

Meredith and Derek are learning to live their lives together. Alex and Izzie try to understand each either. Lexie is trying to do what no woman has succeeded at yet, understanding George.. Will what they learn help or hinder their relationships? (Season 4)

My Mother’s Daughter, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd 

When Meredith found out she was pregnant she moved to Boston in the hopes of being a better mother than her mother was. Now her daughter starts to understand that her parents are still in love. But will they ever realize it? (Season 3)

Trust and Faith, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd 

Derek's in an accident and risks losing everything. Can he and Meredith hold on to what they have: each other? (mid-Season 3)

Serenity, (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd 

Meredith's life is spiraling down. She knows it, and soon everyone else will know it too. Can she pull herself out and allow those that love her to help? (Season 2)

I Wish I May, (Sequel: As I Lay Me) (Grey’s Anatomy, T) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd 

Meredith and Derek have never thought very far into the future when they act. Izzie's life has changed forever, and Burke may not be able to operate again. Coping won't be easy. (Season 2)

Short fic:

Before Her Eyes (Tortall, G) Gen

Alanna is sending one child off to get his shield, but she knows she cannot forget his sister, the girl who is growing up too fast. An Aly and Alanna moment. (Trickster Duology)

Contentment (Tortall, G) Gen

Saraiyu Balitang missed many things once she ran away with Zaimid, her chance to be queen, the death of her brother. What she gained was more: Finally being content. (Trickster Duology)

Life During the End Times Goes On (iZombie, G) Gen, Liv/Ravi if you squint

Ravi comes to realize that being immune to the zombie virus doesn't mean Liv will stop having to save him. But then he comes to realize that he's saved her too, more times than he knows. (Yuletide 2017, Season 3)

In the Choosing (October Daye, G) Gen/Canon Ships

As her loved ones recover from their recent trauma, October Daye learns the power of stories—even the ones that have nothing to do with Faerie. (Yuletide 2019, Post Night and Silence)

Officially (The Brady Bunch, G) Mike/Carol Brady

This group must somehow form a family….(Yuletide 2020)

You Don’t Even Like Boys (Pride 2014, M) 

As the HIV/AIDS epidemic surges in London, Stephanie Chambers tries to hold onto her sense of self while continuing to be one of the blokes. (Yuletide 2021)

Grey’s Anatomy*

Torchwood

*I plan to do a full masterlist soon

[mybg3notebook]

Astarion and Power - Part 2

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

Astarion: abuser / victim

Disclaimer about interpretation victim/abuser: I’m not a fan of bringing the allegory to the plain explicit comparison with serious stuff from real life, but the fandom seems to focus a lot on this aspect and therefore I would like to share my opinion on it. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it. 

If we are going to engage into the comparison abuser/victim, from the section (Backstory: Mortal Astarion) we can assume that mortal Astarion was developed as an abuser so far the facts we got from the game/interviews. There is little doubt about it with the bits of information we have in EA. Maybe the full game or a retcon of his past may change this in the future. 

As a vampire spawn, Astarion presents a duality abuser-victim that comes from the archetype of the “bad behaved victim”. 

(Squeezing him in the shoulder. You try to connect, to let him know he's not alone- but he twists like a snake.) “No, I don't need your pity. I don't need anything from you. Go back to your wet dreams and leave me be.''

As a slave under Cazador’s power, humiliated and physically and psychologically tortured, he becomes a victim. He displays many of the most common behaviours of traumatised survivors: dismissal of the actions he suffered (humiliation and cruelty), sensitivity or violent rejection of gestures of pity, paranoia (for the abuser to appear at any moment), reiterative dreams focused on the abuser or their tortures, pride that may reach into arrogance of having survived tough situations. Considering that survival mode is his default, he can turn any of these aspects into tools to manipulate any potential benefactor (he may care little about). As long as he has a protector, he would do anything at his disposal to keep pleasant and agreeable to that benefactor (this characteristic is a permanent, constant, and obvious trait in his character).

But he is not a mere victim, he is also an abuser. And this aspect has been studied in psychology and sociology: it’s not a surprise that a good amount of abusers were victims before. There is a psychological process that can make victims prone to harness as much power as they can in order to avoid the abuse, and in doing so they become abusers. The fact that they can inflict similar or the same trauma on someone else, shifts the power imbalance they had always perceived in their life: the ex victim—now abuser—finds psychological relief. They find a way to perceive themselves as not powerless anymore, and this process can cross limits, making them enjoy when causing the same torture they suffered before. This is the (extremely brief and simplified) process known as the transformation of victim to victimiser (in a general violence-related way, not necessarily focused on sexual abuse), which tends to affect, so far the statistics show, a group of victims. 

With this brief introduction of the topic from the real life (this is why I dislike so much these comparisons, serious stuff brought into a fantasy world always feels like dismissing the real life issue) we can understand that Astarion has acquired a twisted taste to enjoy the same torments he suffered on himself, but applied on creatures he considers lesser: animals and weak creatures [3,4,6,7,11]. There is pride in his survival [14]: he follows the philosophy: “if I could survive it, you could do it too, otherwise, you must perish”.

He enjoys humiliation [6,10], despite being one of the most sensitive aspects that could trigger a violent reaction in him when Tav tries to humiliate him (dialogue about the Bedchamber Master). He enjoys the power he can have over others, over their wills [11], and aspires to have the control of the tadpole, at first to be free of Cazador’s influence, but as long as the game progresses, his intentions become clearer: he wants to control the tadpole to become powerful: the most powerful vampire of Faerun and bend everyone’s will [12]. This aspect is also ironic and hypocritical since Astarion displays violent reactions against mind control or against any intervention of his mind, so it’s something that triggers him in particular (video here).

He also has a taste to enjoy cruelty on animals [4], maybe because of all the resentment he has against them for having been the only means to sustain himself (he is directing his cruelty and hatred to the wrong group of living creatures though). And he also finds entertainment in murder and bloodshed [2,3,13], just because of it, most probably because all these abuses are proofs that he is now “more powerful” than those suffering it. However, part of this could be explained due to the Dark Desires element of the vampirism, to be fair. But considering Astarion’s backstory, I would say that vampirism only deepens his already evil traits.

Also, as a comment aside, I like to highlight how all this characterisation defies the romantisation of the archetype of the “good victim”. A good victim is—explaining it briefly and oversimplified—the one who encourages to spread goodness, self-sacrifice; their pain is hidden and/or used to improve, tends to be a highly empathetic person in front of similar abuses they suffered. It’s the antipode of the “bad behaved victim.” Which is basically all what we see in Astarion: selfish, violent, whimsical, cruel, psychopath.

In conclusion, we can see Astarion as a vampire spawn who embodies the duality of Victim-Abuser. 

However I would like to note that this is not a char where we can see how the victim becomes an abuser exclusively. In Astarion’s case, it is even more twisted because in his past he was a victimiser. His character lies on a Schrodinger duality: he was an abuser when he was mortal, he is an abuser and a victim at the same time as a vampire spawn (his torments can be understood as poetic justice since Astarion embodied the—corrupt—Justice himself), and he aspires to retake his abuser position in the future (so far EA allowed us to see it or the description of his characters in Larian’s web page), enjoying all the potential that the power of the tadpole can give him to “bend the will of others''. 

Astarion’s story represents topics that should allow us to think about how abusers are created, how they could also be victims, and how victims are not always free of evilness. Astarion also embodies the concept of how far punishment makes sense, how you can punish the abuse if there is no justice, how to punish evilness when it’s placed to have control of the Justice itself. How could we understand the punishment of evil creatures when there is no repent but a deepening of their evil nature? And finally… Would any victim not desire for their abuser to have a punishment like Astarion’s? 

I like to think that Cazador also represents the “modern prison system”, where criminals are gathered in panoptic structures (in this case, Astarion’s mind), tortured in many ways, while society expects them to recover. There is also the concept of how and when recovery is not possible anymore, because let’s be honest, saving people from dark paths is not always possible. Real life psychopath, serial rapists, and a broad amount of creatures who revel in torture and murder are beyond salvation. If we consider Cazador and Astarion as mirrored figures, it makes us think about how much of all of his story is about the eternal cycle of violence and about evilness without salvation. Also, this reflection of one on the other makes us believe that if there is no salvation for Cazador, there shouldn't be salvation for Astarion either; if Astarion can be saved… Cazador should too (after all, we don’t know anything about Cazador’s story). So many things to think about.

All these aspects and topics to think about are what make Cazador-Astarion dynamics worth understanding with a realistic and dark perspective of evilness, without woobifying Astarion as sadly a big part of his fandom does. 

As a note of colour to finish this section, it’s interesting to re-read the paragraph I had written in the first part (Astarion and Power - Part 1) where I briefly described Cazador. If we replace Cazador by the word Astarion we will obtain a curious result:

>>>Astarion has a particular pleasure for control, especially the one related to people’s will (we can see this pleasure progresses over time, increasing it. His need for freedom turns slowly into wanting to have control on everyone, because with power he can do everything he wants to). He enjoys cruelty, humiliation, and torture (read the analysis post done (here), there are dozens of facts showing it). He enjoys playing psychologically with his victims. He also likes to give false hope, making his victims believe that there is hope, removing it right in front of them (the Arabella’s approvals about making her parents believe she is alive when she is not, Mayrina’s hope of reviving her husband).

There are so many questions left in the air: has Cazador imparted Justice? Is 200 years too long for a punishment? I don’t believe there is an easy answer here. First, because we are mixing serious real-life dynamics in a fantasy setup, with the twisted componen of vampirism (a fantasy element always considered an allegory of abuse, power, and rape) and second, despite the analogy is there, and the comparison can be done lightly, Astarion has a particular backstory, with a particular amount of meta-knowledge that makes those answers even more complicated. 

Astarion’s Pain and Shallowness

Back scars scene (full Datamining info)

A pair of videos that pjenn has posted about Astarion’s scars on his back (1) (2) shows that he needs help to read it since he can’t see it in reflective surfaces due to his vampire nature. We get from the narrator: 

* He might be sneering, but you can see pain in his eyes. He needs help, but doesn’t know how to ask. *

What we can infer from this is that Astarion, whether mortal or spawn, never asked for help, and if this is true, I’m confused. If he truly doesn’t know how to ask for help… what had been happening with all the previous interactions he had with Tav? Implicitly asking for help against Cazador? The only answer I have to explain why 25 hours of game with Astarion asking for help against Cazador are suddenly erased and now “he doesn’t know how to ask to”, is that all those 25 hrs are about manipulation. Not a true, honest, clean asking for help. There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far. 

Mirror scene (full Datamining info)

This scene is mostly about vanity and, again, manipulation. 

He doesn't remember the colour of his eyes, and he barely remembers his face. As a vampire, he can‘t see his projection nor cast shadows. He explicitly says that he misses vanity, and even though it may be an honest loss he feels, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to use this moment as another hook to throw at Tav to keep them under his control as well as testing how deep his charm has reached Tav (If Tav shows appreciation, Astarion knows he keeps them under his thumb).

This scene basically shows that, even though evil characters/abusers also suffer (maybe the game would make us reflect eventually about Cazador’s pain?), and Astarion is stating his pain for losing things he appreciated: petty vanity (he can’t see himself in a mirror) and his memories (he has no memory of the colour of his eyes and his face is vague), he is still using all these moments to keep on working on his survival manipulation:

“(Vanity) is an indulgence, I’ll grant you that, but a weakness? A well-presented face can open a lot of doors.”

He has a personal drama, as he stated it at first, and the focus of all his conversation is always about how what he lost was a means for an end too. 

If Tav is the one engaging into being his Mirror, Astarion engages to appraise the reach of his presence in Tav. If Tav simply states it’s a decent face, Astarion will push the engagement for that appraisal. If you mock him about his age and skin, he won’t be offended (after all the moment is not meaningful for him, it’s shallow), and he would insist on a proper praise, because he is trying to taste the ground. 

The moment was meant to be used, and Astarion did it. It was not special to him:

"Mirrors are not much use, but being reflected in someone's else's eyes? I could do much worse.

If we do not derail the conversation in the funny moments where you can mock his beauty, age and skin, we keep gathering more information about what Astarion values the most:

Tav: “Is it all what you want? shallow praise?” Astarion: "Hardly, there is also gold, sex, revenge, quite the list, really. But failing any of those, I will always settle for shallow praise."

There is another option in this scene where Tav says that vanity is a reasonable price for vampire powers, but for once, Astarion is not so eager about this power, because it comes with Cazador. He knows that the price is way much bigger. 

Tav: “Vanity is a small price to pay to have vampire powers”. Astarion: "To you. To me it's just another thing that Cazador took from me".

The only moment when you can get a more emotional reaction is when you mock him about age/beauty/skin. That is how shallow this scene is. If you are a githyanki and your compliments are a list of raw facts about his persona, even if they are good or bad, Astarion can’t appraise Tav with that, and gets frustrated. 

Personally I think this scene has little value per se beyond the comedy, and even less value in terms of lore when you have Disguise spell available for so many characters. Anyone can disguise themselves as Astarion and he would finally see what he looks like… so… more reasons to show how cheap and shallow this scene is. Maybe that was the intention. Maybe it needs more work since, after all, it’s datamining info. There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far. 

The concept of Redemption/endings 

Among the (Datamined information) we have a set of gems under the name of Drunk bear (1) (2) (3) scenes, which speak more about Astarion and his relationship with Cazador and Power.

Tav: “You can start over. You can be better than what he made you.”

Ast: “Exactly. I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? Pet bunnies, that sort of thing? I’ve no objection to being nice, of course. Once I have the power to bend others to my will.

T: “You think power lets you do anything free from consequences?”

A: “Well… yes. You can’t look at the world and tell me I’m wrong.”

T: “The strong have a duty to protect the weak”

A: “They’re doing a piss poor job, then. The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. They gave me a gift: the strength to take my own freedom. I’m embracing this power- you should too.”

T: “You are free now. That’s what matters.”

A: “Is it? What good is freedom if I'm always watching in the shadows? No. I will be safe when I'm powerful enough to grind cazador into the dust. Powerful enough to do whatever the hell I want.”

T: “Power corrupts. You’d do well to remember that.”

A: “Oh I hope so. A little corruption sounds fun. I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that.”

So far we see in this scene, Astarion reinforces his evilness, his desire for power, not just enough to save himself from Cazador’s claws, but to control other people, even though mind control is a triggering effect when it affects his own will. I believe in this interaction we see the contrast of the story that Astarion narrates mainly: the abuser who found a more powerful abuser. We shouldn’t forget he comes from a past where he was a corrupt magistrate. These words have almost a hypocrite meaning here. Astarion was a magistrate, by definition, someone who held power and should have helped those in despair, but he was corrupt and did not care. When he became a spawn, he ended up on the other side of the imbalanced power. He was the one asking for a powerful entity to help him, and none came, suffering a similar fate of despair than those who sought in him the concept of Justice and Power Used For Fairness. Like Astarion’s victims found freedom when a twisted creature like Cazador was incorporated into this situation, Astarion was free when the Mind flayers saved him from Cazador. 

I will not repeat this again: Astarion, so far in Early Access, looks like the story that could explain why Cazador is who he is. These scenes bring once more, another of the many proofs along the game where we see that Astarion has not learnt anything from his torment, he has not improved, he has turned into a more twisted and evil man than he was when he was a mortal magistrate, and there is no intentions to become a little more sympathetic. 

This brings me to think that, at least in EA, glimpses of future paths for Astarion may all be related to different degrees of evilness. 

First of all, we need to remember that Astarion is an evil character, and if we assume that what Sven said in several interviews doesn’t change, Larian is going to break the style this worked in bg1 and bg2, not making big shifting of the alignment in companions. For this reason I think these endings would entitle variations of evilness.

Astarion keeps repeating over and over his opinion about power as the only means to have access to his freedom. And as long the game evolves, he began to reinforce the importance of having power to “do whatever he wants”. Considering his tastes (how much he enjoys cruelty and bloodshed) we can agree that Astarion “doing whatever he wants” is not a good thing for Faerûn. He finds murdering a fine show, an entertainment. Certainly Astarion is a child of Bhaal in his fullest. 

He even mocks Tav when they comment about looking for self-improvement. “I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? (...) Once I have the power to bend others to my will.” This is Cazador speaking. 

So, considering these details, I would suggest (predict is a too strong a word for this) that we have chances to three different kinds of endings and their variations:

The first one, screaming in all what Astarion does: Astarion becomes a full vampire and ends up as the next Cazador. If his approval is high (or some hidden requirement is met) he can turn his lover into another full vampire. If these requirements are not met, in a spawn, repeating the cycle that Astarion suffered but now, on Tav. 

The second one could be with Astarion killing Cazador remaining as a spawn and an agent of chaos and bloodshed. Maybe his relationship with Tav may help to have certain control on him (since we had seen that Astarion so far has been asking permission to kill npcs when the situation arises, so the MC could be turning into a master of choice.)

The third one, finding the cure of Vampirism, and letting Astarion continue with his life of evil corrupted magister. 

Some people ask about the possibility of a Redemption arc. I hardly see it (especially if I keep in mind how bg1 and bg2 worked, they never offered a “real” redemption arc, just small shifts here and there.)

Redemption could be acquired, according to these fans, using two mechanics. 

Astarion feels compassion out of the blue. He starts to have guilt for his past sins and develops empathy, despising cruelty. How? Who knows, so far in EA it has not been seen even once a hint, a scene, a bit of meta-knowledge in that direction. Honestly, so far we’ve seen, this option seems impossible to me, because Astarion has tons of chances to use the meta-knowledge of his approvals and disapprovals to show regret and empathy, and never happened. His character was always focused on himself, his vanity, his pain, his entertainment (which implies constant approval of cruel actions and torments and humiliation to others, especially the weak ones), his survival. If there is a character more far away from empathy right now in EA, it is Astarion. How do you start a redemption arc without the character showing compassion? No way.

Cure Vampirism. Vampirism is a curse, and therefore in the Forgotten Realm can be cured. But this, under no circumstances, can be considered a redemption arc. There is no redemption at all. The curse is lifted, and Astarion can return to be the same cruel magister he was before. No arc about remorse and empathy. 

His character is the story of an abuser who found a greater abuser and became a victim of the latter, seeking to return to his previous power position but stronger. Despite suffering this abuse, that could be understood as poetic justice (more like accidental justice) at certain point, he never developed empathy for those sharing his conditions. In fact, he cares little to inflict on others what he has exactly suffered. I hardly believe there is something else going on “in layers” in him at the moment, since the meta-knowledge provided by the approval/disapproval shows otherwise. My point is, I see little material here showing change. But again, this is EA.

We can see how this exact detail is managed with Shadowheart, from her we know even less than with Astarion because her memory was erased, but so far, we know she has some soft spots that were never shown explicitly, so Tav is oblivious to this information while the player knows it. 

This post was written on April 2021.  → For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index

[cle-guy]

Projecting Story Elements for Magic: the Gathering in 2022

OK, I love the Magic: the Gathering storyline which ranks near the top on my list of favorite hobbies on Tumblr.  This year brings numerous opportunities to speculate on the story elements for this year’s premier MTG sets!  So for this post I am going to speculate on: 

1.  Potential story elements of the set

2.  Specific events which may occur

3.  Planeswalkers who may appear in the set

I will go set by set, and try to incorporate as much known knowledge as possible!  I may update my thoughts as sets (and stories from released sets) become known as the year progresses.  Without further ado!

Innistrad: Crimson Vow

Technically not in 2022, but coming soon none-the-less!  We know lots about the story elements, considering Crimson Vow takes place directly after Midnight Hunt.  

Story Elements:

The first known thing about Crimson Vow is the “Biggest vampire wedding in Innistrad history!” which will unite the Voldaren and Markov bloodlines.  We also know from the story so far that night on Innistrad is overcoming day.  Humans who once turned to Avacyn for safety increasingly look to other sources for protection, including ancient magics forgotten when Sorin created Avacyn.  One Coven seeks to restore the balance, and needs the Moonsilver Key in the Celestus to perform the ritual.

We also know part of the Gatewatch: Teferi, Chandra and Kaya came to Innistrad to assist Arlinn Kord, who seeks to help restore the Day/Night balance on her home plane.  Now, while Arlinn & the Gatewatch succeed in finding the Moonsilver Key, and also succeed in starting the ritual: I do not believe the ritual passes.  I suspect Olivia Valdaren ends the ritual and blocks it based on the card: Olivia’s Midnight Ambush.  The flavor text on this card reads:

"And you were almost finished with that ritual, weren't you, darling? How very rude of me. To make it up to you, I'll send you an invitation to my wedding."

I suspect her raid ends the ritual, kills the Coven leader, and spirals us into Crimson Vow.  

Overall, this suggests that much of the plot of Crimson Vow will surround new attempts to restore the balance between Day and Night.  I suspect Sorin Markov, who fights Sigarda in a rage, will unite with the Gatewatch (and Arlinn Kord, & Sigarda) to save the plane.  How they do this is not revealed as of yet.  However, I suspect one plot detail has been spoiled for the set and thats....

Specific Events:

Edgar Markov marries Olivia Valdaren.  

Olivia is the known progenitor of the Voldaren line, as Edgar Markov is the known progenitor of the Markov line.  At first I felt Sorin would marry Olivia, but I find this unlikely as Olivia despises Sorin (and refuses to save him at the end of Eldritch Moon).  Sorin may care for the future of Innistrad but he remains hedonistic and petty; he spends the end of Episode 2 in this story line griping about how nobody sacrificed as much as he did for the plane and why should he be expected to give more?  He also treats Nahiri quite shallowly when she arrives on Innistrad to demand he help her fix Zendikar.  

More importantly, however, we also get card evidence that Edgar Markov is involved in this story, specifically: Fateful Absence.  The flavor text for this card reads:

“Sensing a plot, Sorin raced to his grandfather's resting-crypt. But someone else had gotten there first.“

The plot going like this, I suspect, for the story:

A) Our heroes (the Gatewatch, Sigarda, Arlinn) regroup after Olivia invokes eternal night by defeating the ritual.

B) They join up with Sorin Markov, who is now angry at Olivia for convincing his grandfather to marry her, and hatch a plan to stop the wedding

C) Olivia marries Edgar

D) The wedding turns into a bloody mess as the Gatewatch, Arlinn, & Sigarda all try to reverse the damage.  Sorin spends the story finding a way to get revenge.  

E) One of Edgar or Olivia survives

F) Emrakul is released and everybody dies (Just kidding)

Anyway, with all of this laid out that leaves us with potential planeswalkers.

Planeswalker Appearances:

Each set I will assume only three planeswalkers appear, with speculation for a fourth & fifth.

We already know Arlinn Kord, Teferi, & Sorin Markov will get cards; Arlinn & Teferi will not get cards in this set since they appeared in Midnight Hunt. Sorin Markov appears on the packaging, which nearly guarantees his appearance as a card in this set.

Slot 1: Sorin Markov, WB

Now, Chandra Nalaar and Kaya both appear in the story.  The next quesiton would be: do they get cards in the 2nd set since they are known to appear in the story?  It’s a tough call.  Chandra would fit in nicely since Sorin will almost certainly appear as a WB planeswalker granting a third color for balance purposes.  Kaya, on the other hands, presents two problems.  First, she shares her color identity with the story’s likely main character.  Second, she already got a card recently in Kaldheim (which is still in Standard).  I would guess she lacks a card in the set.

Slot 1: Sorin Markov, WB Slot 2: Chandra Nalaar, R

Now we’re into more speculative territory.  I highly doubt we only get two planeswalkers in the set, which leaves open a spot for a new planeswalker (likely a blue  planeswalker).  That being said, I would not be surprised if Tamiyo makes an appearance in the 3rd slot; she appeared in both previous stops in Innistrad, and two of her colors would fill out the color balancing in the set so far.

Slot 1: Sorin Markov, WB Slot 2: Chandra Nalaar, R Slot 3: Tamiyo, U

Other potential planeswalkers include the aforementioned Kaya, Tibalt (who would love to spoil a wedding), & Davirel Cane.  If I had to make a stab at a fourth walker I’d gamble and guess Davriel, with a final list of:

Slot 1: Sorin Markov, WB Slot 2: Chandra Nalaar, R Slot 3: Tamiyo, U Slot 4: Davriel Cane, B

Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty

Story Elements:

So little is known about the new set except that the set takes place concurrently in the present, and that the set will feature both a new planeswalker, Keito, and that the current Emperor of Kamigawa is “someone we’re familiar with” which sadly does not tell us much. Let’s start by considering some known characters from the original block:

Toshiro Umezawa.  Toshi is definitely not the emperor.  First, Toshi was sent to Dominaria by the Myojin of Night’s Reach at the end of the block (and his descendent will eventually kill Nicol Bolas).  Second, he’d almost assuredly be dead by now.

Hidetsugu.  An ogre who joined with the Oni of All Consuming Chaos, he could conceivably be alive at this point, although he would not be my guess.

The Myojin of Night’s Reach.  Unlikely.  While powerful enough, ambitious enough, to try: I just do not see her being able to take the power.  She was defeated by Bolas sometime after the events of the original block, for instance.

The Sisters of Flesh & Spirit.  Better known as “That Which was Taken” and “Michiko Konda” both characters join at the end of the 3rd book.  They’re the most likely candidate to run the whole plane, the only downside is I doubt many players actually know who they are, or how they became one.

However, their union would potentially explain the futuristic nature of the plane.  If the Emperor is both spirit and flesh, then the spirit world (Kakuriyuo) & physical world (Utsushiyo) may have joined as well, giving the plane its current futuristic (dare I say: neon) appearance.

Specific Events:

I will only predict one event in this set, and that’s the appearance from Tamiyo’s story circle.  I would be shocked if this relatively well known gathering is not referenced in the set.  It would be a surprise, to say the least.

Planeswalker Appearances:

First thing’s first: Keito is confirmed for the set.  We do not know what color identity he has yet, but they did call Keito a “cyber ninja” in the video.  Ninjas are a pretty evenly split tribe between blue and black, so I will call Keito a UB planeswalker for now:

Slot 1: Keito, UB

I cannot imagine them returning to Kamigawa without bringing back Tamiyo.  I know she literally is predicted to appear in Innistrad: Crimson Vow but I think predicting her here is also plausible.

Slot 1: Keito, UB Slot 2: Tamiyo, U

Next, they also mentioned that a “mysterious planeswalker” would make an appearance in this set as well.  Now, they did not say whether this planeswalker was a new planeswalker or a returning planeswalker.  Some planeswalkers we know of who I would classify as mysterious include: Kasmina, The Raven Man, The Wanderer, Davriel Cane, Ashiok, & Aminatou.  Ashiok is currently investigating New Phyrexia and shares my predicted colors with Keito; Davriel (I think) is a strange fit on this set, and I do not see us learning about the Raven Man absent Liliana.  That leaves the Wanderer, Aminatou, or Kasmina.  We did just see Kasmina and I do suspect she plays a role in whatever arc they are building up to, but she conflicts with Keito & Tamiyo.  That leaves the Wanderer or Aminatou.  Given Mark Rosewater’s doubts about Aminatou (and her own conflicts) I predict The Wanderer.

Slot 1: Keito, UB Slot 2: Tamiyo, U Slot 3: The Wanderer, W

That does leave room for a walker with red and green.  Samut fits in, but I will guess Sarkhan who originally appeared Gruul, and may visit with Narset.

Slot 1: Keito, UB Slot 2: Tamiyo, U Slot 3: The Wanderer, W Slot 4: Sarkhan Vol, RG

Streets of New Capenna

Planeswalker Appearances:

So little is known about this new plane that I will limit myself to guessing planeswalkers.  Ob Nixilis is confirmed, and this is a wedge set, so I am predicting they finally print Nixilis as a Rakdos planeswalker.

Slot 1: Ob Nixilis, BR

They also confirmed this plane is “special” to Elspeth.  You do not name drop that and not include her.

Slot 1: Ob Nixilis, BR Slot 2: Elspeth, W

OK.  As far as I know: Ajani has not reunited with Elspeth yet, which suggests to me that there is room for a reunion in this set.  

Slot 1: Ob Nixilis, BR Slot 2: Elspeth, W Slot 3: Ajani Goldmane, WG

Calix would be my second choice, same colors, since he is currently chasing her.  If there is one other potential walker I would guess a new walker.  I honestly do not see what other walker would fit here, especially with Nixilis taking up the BR space in this scenario.

Dominaria United

Specific Events:

If you read the first story from Midnight Hunt you know that Teferi helped Wrenn find her seventh tree to bond with, and that Wrenn offered to help Teferi repair the damage his spell phasing out Zhalfir from Dominaria did to both his home and his plane.  Given the name I predict Teferi works with Wrenn to restore Dominaria to its full state.  

I also predict that Teferi, Karn, & Ajani all work together to plan out the destruction of New Phyrexia (with an eventual showdown sometime in 2023).  

Planeswalker Appearances:

I think Dominaria United will act like a traditional core set.  So, with that being said, I think the following walkers appear:

Slot 1: Teferi, U Slot 2: Wrenn, G

As said above, I think a big part of the story line is Teferi bringing Zhalfir back to Dominaria.  That requires both Wrenn and Teferi, and since this is a core set both will get only a single color.

Slot 1: Teferi, U Slot 2: Wrenn, G Slot 3: Ajani, W

Ajani will return helping Teferi and Karn plan the destruction of New Phyrexia.  Since Ajani is base white its a good fit.  There are plenty of mono red planeswalkers but only two which make story sense.  The first is Koth, but since I doubt he leaves New Phyrexia I do not think he makes an appearance.  My guess is Jaya Ballard, a native Dominarian, will show up in the fourth spot instead.

Slot 1: Teferi, U Slot 2: Wrenn, G Slot 3: Ajani, W Slot 4: Jaya Ballard, R

The 5th spot is the one I am not sure of; if Wizards wanted to tell a largely Dominarian story they would bring back Liliana Vess, but I do not think she quite makes sense for this story as she is in hiding and as far as I know her appearance would not sit well with Teferi and Ajani (Gatewatch members).  I will toss out three possibilities: 1) Sorin Markov (guessing Teferi recruits him to protect Innistrad against an inter-planar threat), 2) Davriel Cane, or 3) Karn (and go colorless).  They could also just include Karn as a 6th walker like Core Set 2021.  For now, I will assume Karn as the 5th walker.

Slot 1: Teferi, U Slot 2: Wrenn, G Slot 3: Ajani, W Slot 4: Jaya Ballard, R Slot 5: Karn, C

The Brothers War

This set does not require speculation since the story has already been told.  I would highly recommend reading the book.  The only thing I will say for certain is: Urza finally gets a real planeswalker card.

[lostsoulaltair]

OnS Theories (23S). First Theory and Analsys - Urd and Rigr. The past and the future. Forgotten Present

Hello everyone, after so long, I welcome you to a new theory, I must say that after a long break, it feels nice to return to update theories. (To be honest, I’ve been busy with stuff, this time I wish it was slacking but it comes between getting busy along a bit of feeling not so motivated, but anyways, let’s pull through these theories to the very end!)

I hope everyone’s alright, make sure to stay healthy dear readers!

P.S: Theories are held within a neutral view and ships are excluded.

“People lament that there is always a precedent for trying something new. But everything that the future brings will be similar to something from the past. But nothing like the present will ever come again, nor has it ever existed “

-Kouhei Kadono, Inside the Apocalypse Castle

Back in the chapter analysis, I focused on the characters that made its appearance after so long, which of course, are the vampire Progenitors; of course, within this, there’s such a quote that truthfully applies to the main two Progenitors that took different paths, who do I mean?

Correct. Those are Rigr Stafford and Urd Geales.

But, what does the quote above have to do with them?

It’s well known that humans alone seek progress, they envision the future as promising, but, within the story, this is something that it’s not only applied to humans but vampires too, what do I mean?

Rigr Stafford - Saito: Vampire living in the future

Rigr Stafford who is better known as Saito is a fine example of that and that’s heavily reflected on the latest chapter:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 105

The very first thing Rigr understood within the amount of time he spent with Urd as the remaining two Progenitors that sticked together was, “what was the purpose of staying?”

The question alone seems like a rebellious phase even to some extend, but in fact, there’s something else behind; just like he stated after this panel, he envisioned an Utopia for vampires, but why?

That’s because the First Progenitor, by the time he sired the very first vampires, he made illusions for them, promising dreams that were a possibility but just like the phrase “Sometime it snows in April”, when a possibility is presented, it depends a lot how it’s handled down; in this case, all the vampires believed there would be an endless dream, a perfect world that is labeled as Utopia which at the very end, it ended up disappearing without notice.

But now, you might wonder, what does this have to do with him seeing the “future”?

Rigr didn’t want to stay behind and remain stuck with the old times, he wanted a change, he wanted answers; he wasn’t satisfied with the current life he had; and thus, he decided to leave, but within this, there’s something curious, what do I mean?

Among all the vampires that don’t know why they exist, that question their existance, Rigr technically bestowed his brother, another second Progenitor the key to what defined a human, what could it be?

Correct:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 105

Indeed, Rigr gave Urd a reason to live even if it meant making him have a negative view towards him for abandoning him after the First did. And thus, this was the first stone Rigr set into the future, and with the flow of time, he reached the current self, the one that diistortioned its own body in order to defeat the threat of the world, which is no less than the First Progenitor.

But why do I state that even between the two Progenitors there’s a forgotten present?

Before that, let’s talk about Urd.

Urd Geales: Vampire living in the past

Urd is well known to represent order which is something considered by many such as @black-sapphire57​ , @mikaisyuudere​, and @sonali6661​.

But even still, even if Urd is a figure that decided to take care of the vampires, that decided to shoulder the responsibility the First had:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 105

There’s something rather interesting within Urd, what do I mean?

Urd Geales despite being a character that shows discipline, along the authority figure he is towards the Vampire Society, Urd is the type that doesn’t accept changes well, what do I mean?

After the First Progenitor decided to leave the Vampire Council along with his Apostles or chosen ones, the vampire society he managed to create entered in a phase of negation, expecting the First to eventually return and take them with him, but even with such dream, the First Progenitor never came back until 1 000 years later when he gave away his presence:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 74

Urd Geales took full responsibility of the Vampires that eventually left by their own, he might have designed them which territory to rule underground, without the sight of humans along the laws that were made by him and Rigr many years ago; and, within this, it wasn’t needed to say that many vampires thought the same as Urd; they were afraid of changes, they treasured a lot the past that used to be their lifestyle, even if it was a different path from humanity, they enjoyed their carefree life, that time wasn’t something that could worry them, the fact they had their sire with them to guide them against the world.

And the very fact that an opportunity of “change” presents, it has been reflected with doubt and a discret fear:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 68

Back in the old chapters when Urd, Ky and Lest attempted to interrogate Krul Tepes, they had a small clash of ideals, what do I mean?

Correct. For Krul, the ways and methods they dealt with the problems were obsolete to the point that even if they tried to find a solution, in fact, they wouldn’t; which, to surprise of many, the first one to take the step of taking action was Ky Luc.

This only allowed the other Progenitors to proceed into knowing what exactly happened in the past that was unkonwn to them along the actions they could take for the future that was bound to come.

But now, what do I mean by statingthat both Urd and Rigr have forgotten the present?

This question might seem to some point confusing but in fact, it’s rather simple; what do I mean?

Both Urd and Rigr decided to stay or choose their respective ideals; they decided what it was best for their own.

In Urd’s case, he considered that remaining the same way as the Vampire Council was made, was the best way to keep order, to keep old traditions and costumes in order; but, time never forgives, time keeps flowing despite inmortality, everything changes around the world, and this was something the Vampire Progenitors that decided to abide the Rules noticed.

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 68

They noticed that the World made a drastic change; that humans weren’t the same compared to those they met millenia ago; in contrast, they entered to forbidden zones, they even touched taboos that which for them were considered acts of violation of the rules made by the First, Urd and Rigr.

In Rigr’s case, he considered that the First Progenitor didn’t leave just out of interest, but rather, he discovered the secrets he hid from the Progenitors, what he considered to do, his goals and ambitions that would eventually affect the World he once knew but, why did he take the risk if he was a vampire?

Despite being a vampire, and just like Ferid:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 91

Indeed, he was seeking for an answer to the same question most vampires ask, which is their reason to live and the meaning of life.

Furthermore, this discovery of how the world was dancing in the palm of the First was revealed in the World Resurrection at 19 LNs, when Guren finally had a time to speak with Rigr Stafford, along learning facts of how the First Progenitor dealt with the world and chose what would prevail and fall; all together with the fact on how Rigr himself altered the Ichinose DNA.

But once again, why is it that both forgot the present when they’re living it?

Forgetting the present isn’t something literal but rahter, if the mind aims for the future and dismisses everything that’s going around, then the answers for what the present beholds are eternally lost, what do I mean?

The Vampire Progenitors and Rigr Stafford have an enemy in common to some extend; in Rigr’s case, his main target is the First Progenitor yet he dismisses the fact that the JIDA has self awareness that the monster they’re fighting is the very same enemy Rigr pursuits; so it applies with the squad and the duo of Mahiru and Guren along the integration of Krul, Ferid and Crowley.

In Urd’s case, he still can’t acknowledge the very fact that the threat is the First Progenitor and this is, to some levels understandable, he was fond of something that was built millenia ago, he treasured what was built at such time until everything was laid on his shoulders.

Urd considers as threat humankind and depending on the answer, the First Progenitor along Rigr Stafford for walking into the forbidden, for abandoning his duties from the Vampire Council and most of all, for all the things he has done, altering many things such as his body along those who decided to follow him.

It is to say that this lack of visualization of the Present isn’t something that’ll be permanent, in fact, it can be said that chapters will escalate sooner or later, they’ll make the world reach its peak and breakdown which only leaves for a future truce between those who want to keep seeing a tomorrow and possibily, a goodbye for the everlasting lifespan they were granted.

What do you think dear readers?

Let me know!

[spuffybot]

Walk Me to the Graveyard

Summary: Buffy walks through the graveyard alone at night, contemplating the past few months following the fall of Sunnydale. She reflects on her relationship with Spike, her friendships, and her future before receiving a shocking phone call.

Characters: Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Spike (mentions of Giles, Xander, Andrew, Kennedy, Faith, Wood, Angel, and Fred)

Warnings: Some adult language

Word Count: 4515

Author’s notes: If you read this, thank you. I’ve been chipping away at it for the past few weeks and I’m just glad I was able to finish something I started. “Ghostface” is a reference to the Scream movies, which Sarah Michelle Gellar had a cameo in. The high tea spot with the egg shaped bathrooms is Sketch, a place I didn’t get to visit this year due to the pandemic. I hope you all have a safe holiday season and new year. Hopefully I’ll finish the second part of this story in 2021.

Walk Me to the Graveyard (part 1)

Buffy’s joints creaked as she stood up from her crouched position. She’d been staking out this grave (no pun intended) for hours and dawn was slowly approaching. In the last few minutes the air had started to change, and she could hear the telltale rustling of birds in the trees. If this vampire was going to rise, it wouldn’t be tonight.

Stretching her arms up over her head, she rolled out her stiff shoulders, feeling strangely relieved by the lack of action.

Buffy had been coming to this cemetery every couple of nights for weeks, sniffing out even the barest hint of vampire activity. Technically she could have assigned graveyard duty to any of the Potentials, but she craved the silence and the normalcy of the activity.

She chuckled to herself. How far she’d come that she could relish a few hours of graveyard haunting and call it normal. If only her sixteen-year-old self could see her now.

The truth was she was tired. After the fall of Sunnydale, she’d been fueled by an insatiable need to just keep moving. Giles had suggested they hole up in LA and take refuge with Angel Investigations, but Buffy refused. She wanted to get started on rebuilding as soon as possible. They couldn’t afford to waste time in LA, on Angel’s turf, killing time as his sidekicks while thousands of girls woke up with powers they couldn’t explain. So instead the Scoobies had moved to London, taking on the role of de-facto Watchers Council. They’d rounded up the few surviving members of the former Council and had started reaching out to as many activated Potentials as possible.

They recruited the ones they could and provided support (emotional and financial) to the ones they couldn’t. It was rewarding and it kept her mind off things.

Things like telling a man she loved him only to have him choose death over a future with her.

Buffy kicked a crumbling headstone, cursing when she stubbed her toe.

She knew that wasn’t fair. Spike died saving the world. It was a sacrifice she’d made more than once, and she knew how much she resented the people she left behind for not understanding the weight of that choice. She didn’t want to sully the memory of his heroics with her bitterness. She just couldn’t help it. Besides, focusing on missing Spike was easier than accepting she didn’t know how to function now that she wasn’t the “one girl in all the world.” The irony of having an identity crisis over getting the one thing she’d always thought she wanted was not lost on her. She should be grateful that she wasn’t the only Slayer. Grateful that her future was finally hers to shape. Instead she just felt lost.

It didn’t help that everyone around her was adjusting to this new life and mission like they were born to it. Dawn was training to be a Watcher, and frankly, they needed as many as they could get. The Slayer to Watcher ratio had been drastically tipped and it was only a matter of time before things got out of control.

Faith and Wood had stayed behind in America, taking up shop at the Hellmouth in Cleveland. It was weird to think of Faith as the reigning defender of the Hellmouth, but it felt right. With Wood by her side she would stay grounded and on track. He understood the mission better than most.

Giles was in his glory. He’d vetted the surviving Watchers, firing some gleefully and taking others under his wing. Between them they’d established a kind of Watchers Hogwarts, training Watchers by day and guiding Potential Slayers on field missions by night. He was happy, which was something she’d never really seen him be before. Their relationship had taken a hit in the last few years and while she wasn’t ready to forgive him for everything, she didn’t begrudge him his success. Her Watcher had floundered ever since he was fired, unable to find purpose while she and her friends had grown up around him. Seeing as she suddenly found herself in a similar position it was hard not to understand how he’d gone off track. Besides, she’d lost enough people to know she wasn’t going to lose anymore. She’d fix things with Giles, eventually. For now, she’d just settle for on the same continent and on polite speaking terms. 

Xander and Andrew led the Potential Identification and Retrieval Taskforce. They came up with the name. Obviously. They spent their days traveling the world, chasing down leads and giving their best “join team save the world” sales pitch to scared and angry girls.

Buffy smiled thinking about them. The last time they’d video chatted, Xander had looked better than she’d seen him in years. He’d lost the chip on his shoulder that he’d been carrying since they graduated high school. For the first time in his life he was the best person for the job, and he knew it. Trustworthiness and warmth radiated from him and his knowledge of tactics and the cost of the fight lent him an authenticity the girls were drawn to. He never bullshitted or misled them, but he did inspire them. Like he’d inspired all of the Scoobies over the years to keep on fighting.

The sun was starting to peak over the horizon, and a misty fog enveloped the graveyard. She knew she was dawdling but she couldn’t bring herself to rush home. The alarms would be ringing any second now, Potentials and Watchers scrambling to the mess hall for breakfast before a day of study and training.

Technically she didn’t have any classes to teach until the afternoon, but Giles liked the staff to be present in the morning. He said it communicated solidarity and responsibility. Personally, she thought Dawn had just made him watch the Harry Potter movies one too many times.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she let it go to voicemail. It was either Willow calling to say she had another hit on the Potential alert locator spell or Giles calling to ask where she was.

Either way it could wait.

She just wanted to be in the quiet for a little bit longer.

That’s what she missed the most about Spike. Having someone she could be in the quiet with. He had always seemed to know what she needed, anticipating her every mood and desire.

She’d never met anyone she could just be alone with before him. He never expected anything of her other than to just be. In this chaotic mess of a life she now led she craved his company and his silence. Since she couldn’t have that she came to the cemetery. The dead kept her company in a way the living never could. The occasional scuffle with a vampire didn’t hurt either. The familiar comfort of a stake in her pocket, grave dust on her shoes, her breath quickening for the thrill of the kill, reminding her that even though everything had changed, some things never would.

Her phone buzzed again.

She frowned, wondering why she couldn’t even get a few hours of peace before the sun was fully risen.

Flipping it open she saw two missed calls from a number she didn’t recognize. No voicemail.

It was probably someone trying to sell her something.

Technically her phone was spelled against telemarketers, but magic was fickle. If someone really needed to reach her, they would call the office and leave a message with her secretary.

God. How had she ended up here?

When they’d first arrived in London she’d panicked. Back in California it had seemed so clear. Get to London, find the Watchers, find the Potentials, save the world. Simple.

Except once they arrived there had been bureaucracy and red tape to get through. The surviving Watchers had needed convincing and playing nice with morons wasn’t Buffy’s strong suit. After one particularly eventful meeting that ended with some snide British dude’s head slamming into a wall Giles and Willow had pushed her to take a back seat on the negotiations. Much to everyone’s shock, she listened.

As soon as she stopped leading she felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders. Without meetings and planning sessions to fill her days she’d found herself wandering the streets of London with Dawn, playing tourist.

They were having high tea at this ridiculous spot with baby pink furniture and weird egg-shaped toilets when it hit her. She could walk away. The Hellmouth was gone, and there were more than enough Slayers to pick up the slack. Her friends would be disappointed but eventually they would understand. As she sat there watching Dawn sample pastries, no fear of imminent death getting in the way of her fun, Buffy couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like. This could be their every day.

They could finish out the summer backpacking through Europe then head home to America to finish school and settle down. She was pretty sure she’d heard somewhere that there were hardly any vampires in New Jersey.

She was so wrapped up in the fantasy that she almost missed what Dawn said as they were walking home to their flat.

“Sorry, what with the what now?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “I said, it’s crazy how there’s this whole world out here and no one was helping keep it safe before.”

“Ummm excuse me, Slayer here, has saved the world, a lot. Even got a nice shiny headstone for my troubles.”

“Obviously but...you were always in Sunnydale. And sure, most of the big bad world endy guys ended up there too but...what about all the other regular level baddies hurting everyday people? I mean, look at them all.”

Dawn stopped and looked around, forcing Buffy to take it all in. The couples strolling along, groups of friends, kids in strollers. The street was flooded with people going about their day. As soon as that sun went down, they’d be joined by all the things that went bump in the night.

“I just think it’s kind of amazing what we’re about to do. For the first time we’ll be able to protect people all over the world. These people will have a chance like they’ve never had before. Like everyone in Sunnydale got because you were around. We can give that to them. I’m just...glad.”

Buffy’s heart warmed even as dreams of running away slipped from her grasp. Dawn was right. This was her calling. She’d find a way to live with it. Normalcy would never be available to her and the sooner she embraced that, the sooner she could start working towards happiness.

At least that’s what Willow was always saying.

Willow who saw a therapist three times a week and a substance abuse counselor twice a week.

After the battle she and Kennedy had parted ways. Their relationship had run its course and Kennedy wasn’t interested in staying on Team Scooby. Instead she took her slaying act on the road, traveling town to town looking for monsters to hunt and people to save. Occasionally she’d run into a Potential and send a heads up their way. She seemed happy. Everyone seemed happy. Buffy just couldn’t seem to find her groove.

Ironically, Willow was the only one to notice how out of sorts Buffy was. Maybe it was all the therapy or maybe it was just that she was more herself than she’d been in a long time, but Willow had become Buffy’s sole confidant these past few months. If she thought about it too much she knew she’d cry. It hadn’t occurred to her how much she’d missed her best friend until she got her back.

At first when Willow tried to reach out, Buffy had been cold and distant. Willow understood, even writing Buffy a letter to explain that she respected her need for distance after the way she had torched their friendship and Buffy’s trust. The letter had melted something in Buffy’s heart. It was the first time Willow had really acknowledged the fact that their sisterhood had been a casualty of Willow’s addiction.

The first time they sat down for coffee together felt like coming home. Willow seemed lighter, more like the girl Buffy had met her sophomore year of high school than the all-powerful Wicca she had come to know lately. She seemed shy, hesitant to take too much from Buffy, a reticence that allowed her to give more than she had intended to when she agreed to meet.

By their third coffee date it was clear that they were going to push through this. When a third turned into a fourth and fifth they decided to just make it a standing girl’s night. Every Tuesday for the rest of their lives.

Last Tuesday they’d finally broached the subject of Spike. Buffy had been dreading this, afraid to pick at the scab only to be met with judgment and condemnation. She wasn’t sure their renewed friendship could handle it. As much as she loved having Will back, Spike was a sensitive spot and she was afraid of how she’d react if Willow said something she didn’t like.

“Buffy, I tried to end the world. What’s a little bumpin of the uglies between former enemies compared to that? I am judgement free Willow of the no judgies zone.”

Willows face scrunched up like it did sometimes when she was trying to find the right words, her nose crinkling and her eyes rolling skyward.

“I just want you to be ok. And if that means loads of tasty mochas and squishy details about Spike sex, I am all ears. I’ve even got marshmallows.”

Buffy saw the sincerity on her friends face and felt something crack deep inside her. She’d been prepared for judgment at worst and stoic acceptance at best. Being met with such openness and warmth took her by surprise and she found she couldn’t hold back anymore. Her eyes welled up and before she could reign it in and full body sobs shook her.

As she cried, Willow rubbed her back and let her get it all out, careful to avoid pushing her to talk. It was exactly what she’d needed to be able to open up.

And open up she did. It was like the levies broke and all the confusion and hurt came pouring out. She told Willow about what happened in the Hellmouth. About her last days with Spike, how he supported her and strengthened her when no one else could, or would. This last part she said without any venom, all her anger and resentment at Willow long gone.

She even spoke about their last night together. How they’d made love in the basement, on that shitty cot. The first and only time they’d ever been truly intimate, Buffy’s walls fully down, her heart totally exposed.

“I know having sex with someone isn’t like, a big deal or anything. Especially when you’ve had sex as many times as we did.”

Buffy cringed as the words left her mouth. The familiar guilt over her physical affair with Spike flaring up.

“No!” Willow exclaimed.

“Buffy no. It is a big deal. It’s like, the biggest of deals. You and sex haven’t exactly had the most copacetic relationship, no offense.”

She smiled apologetically, eliciting a soft laugh from Buffy despite the anxiety that was clenching her gut.

“If you let yourself feel something good with Spike, even just that one time, it’s important. Special. You shouldn’t downplay that. He loved you and you let him show it to you. It’s romantic.”

At that Buffy really laughed.

“God Will. Spike. Romantic.”

Willow laughed too.

“You know...it’s not that weird. Remember when he kidnapped me and Xander? He wanted me to do a love spell for Drusilla. I think he’s always had a romantic streak. In a weird, murdery, vampire kinda way”

Buffy shook her head in amusement.

“Did I ever tell you Spike was a poet when he was human?”

Willows eye widened, and her hands flew to cover her cackling laugh.

“A poet? Oh my gosh. That’s...that’s too good.”

Buffy took a sip of her mocha, relishing the warm caffeinated goodness before adding, “he would kill me for telling you this but, the best part is the whole “William the Bloody” thing? That’s because he had a reputation for being such a terrible poet.”

At that Willow dissolved into full on giggles, hands clutching her stomach

“Ugggggh ok ok, I’m done laughing. Promise. Also why is that so cute? That’s so cute. Little Spike the poet.”

Buffy sighed. “The thing is Spike has this immense capacity for love. Even as a violent serial killer he was still driven by love. It scared me. That he was so willing to throw himself headfirst into love without a shadow of doubt. I’ve never...I’ve never been like that.”

She looked up at Willow, trying to read her reaction. The witch just nodded encouragingly for her to go on.

“I just...I told Giles once that I didn’t know if I could love. I was worried I was broken, like all the slaying made me cold and loveless or something.”

“Buffy, no,” Willow cut in, but Buffy held up a hand to stop her.

“I know it’s not true. I died to save Dawn, to save all of you, weeks after I said that.” Buffy’s eyes filled up again but this time she swallowed it down and wiped them clean.

“He really loved me Will. And I don’t know that I was in love with him but that last night we spent together...I kind of thought that I could be, someday. You know? I wanted him to know that. To know that there was a chance for us. I figured we’d have all the time in the world after...”

Buffy trailed off, suddenly tired. She didn’t need to explain the rest. How Spike had died, believing she’d never love him. How all the time she thought she’d have to figure out if she could evaporated in a burst of fire and ash.

—————————

She’d reached the cemetery gates just as the sun broke through the horizon. Her car was covered in dew, glistening in the hazy morning light.

She still couldn’t believe she had learned how to drive. And on the wrong side of the road! Her mom would die of shock if she were still around.

The thought of Joyce made her wistful. If only her mom could see her now. In her heart Buffy new her mom would be proud of the choices she’d made. She’d encourage her to let go of the past and focus on the future. She’d be overjoyed to know that Buffy had a future now. Sure, it still involved a massive amount of slayage but for the first time in a long time, the fate of the world didn’t rest solely on her shoulders. Her mom would tell her to embrace that and to live this new life to the fullest.

I’m trying mom.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time Buffy yanked it out in annoyance and flipped it open.

“What do you want?”

The silence on the other end only ticked her off more. If it was so important for someone to call her three times before she’d even had a cup of tea they could freaking respond when she finally picked up.

“Hello? I’m hanging up in three seconds if you don’t get all un-ghostface on me and just tell me what you want.”

She heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. Her annoyance bled to curiosity and she willed herself to be patient.

Infusing her voice with a level of calm she didn’t feel, she asked “Do you need help or something? I don’t know how you got this line if you’re not part of Scooby Central but…you got me.”

The silence eked on for seconds that felt like minutes before the caller sighed. Buffy’s pulse shot up, anticipation making her antsy. She shuffled from foot to foot, fighting her instinct to hang up. If this was a Potential calling for help she needed to wait it out.

Finally, a voice broke through the silence.

“Slayer?”

Buffy dropped the phone on the ground, her fingers losing the ability to function along with her brain, which had gone fuzzy and staticky at the sound of the all too familiar voice on the other end of the line.

She stared down at her phone, the call still connected, wondering if she had fallen asleep somehow.

A muffled “bloody hell” came out of the fallen phone, causing Buffy to gasp and jump back. She crouched down low, getting as close to the phone as she could without actually picking it back up.

“Shit. SHIT. Spike?”

The muttering and cursing stopped.

“Slayer…yea. It’s a long story. But yea.”

Buffy felt her limbs turn to jelly and she sat down on the cold gravel, her head falling into her hands. A sob bubbled up from her chest, turning into a laugh that she couldn’t control. She giggled for a solid minute before gingerly picking her phone up and pressing it to her ear.

“How? You better explain yourself right now.” Her voice was edged with steel, anxiety and adrenaline giving way to nervous anger. If this was someone’s idea of a sick joke she was going to get murdery.

She could almost hear Spike roll his eyes.

“Good god woman, can’t I come back to life without brassing you off?”

She bit her lip to stop a smile, not willing to let hope overrule a protective layer of skepticism.

Rocking back on her heels Buffy gulped down the crisp morning air, willing her body to calm down so she could take stock of the situation. Her dead ex sort of boyfriend was calling her…she looked at the phone number quickly…from LA. Ok. She could handle this. She was the Slayer, queen of things that go bump in the night and let’s face it, this wasn’t her first ex to come back from the great beyond. If Angel could do it…Angel.

“Spike, why are you calling me from LA?”

He sighed again and she could picture him rubbing the back of his neck, a grimace on his face as he debated the best way to tell her what was going on.

Despite the rush of anger, her heart warmed at the thought.

“Eh look, I said it was complicated. I just thought it was right. Telling you I was alive. Thought you should know is all.”

Whatever ice had melted in her heart immediately froze back up. No way was Spike going to call her from beyond the grave and then immediately get shady and secretive.

“So, is that your weird dodgy British way of saying you’re not going to tell me why you’re calling me from LA? Where Angel lives? Are you with Angel?”

She heard Spike mutter something to himself that sounded an awful lot like “bloody bint”. She rolled her eyes and stood up, pacing the lot in an attempt to keep her temper in check.

“Yea. Alright yea.”

His voice had changed, his accent becoming sharper, and she knew he was starting to get worked up.

“I’m in LA and I’m with Angel. If you want to talk to him you can damn well call him yourself. I don’t know what I was thinking. Bloke comes back as a sodding ghost, gets himself corporealized by a nice scientist bird and calls his girl up and she wants to know about Angel. Figures.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, not even bothering to interrupt his tirade. She knew he’d run out of steam eventually.

“Are you finished?”

Spike sighed again and Buffy felt the fight go out of her. She sat down on the hood of her car, overwhelmed by the emotions swirling within.

“Yea Slayer. I’m finished.”

Buffy’s shoulders slumped and she laid back, gazing up at the sky. It was going to be a cloudy day.

“How?”

“That’s the million-dollar question love. Seems no one can answer it.”

“Wait.” Buffy sat up; brow furrowed in concentration as she started to put together the various odd things Spike had said so far.

“You were a ghost?”

She tried to picture that. Spike all floaty and haunty. The image made her chuckle, which she quickly tried to suppress.

“Yea, yea, yea, laugh it up. I don’t know if I was a ghost. I was a something. Couldn’t touch, couldn’t feel. Just trapped at bloody Wolfram & Hart with your beloved Prince of Brooding.”

“Wolf ram and what now?”

“It doesn’t matter. Done what I set to do. You know. Guess I’ll let you get back to it then.”

Buffy felt white hot anger burning in her chest. Did he really think he was going to call her up, say hey, and then leave? Maybe forever? Who did he think he was?

“Fine,” she spat out.

“Fine,” came Spike’s huffy reply.

They’d reached a stalemate and Buffy did the only thing she could think of doing.

She hung up.

She stuffed the phone in her pocket, unlocking the car door and sliding into the front seat. She stared out the frosted windshield for a moment before screaming at the top of her lungs. When that didn’t calm the storm she felt brewing inside she slammed her hands repeatedly into the steering wheel. The metal and leather began to crunch and warp under the weight of her blows but she didn’t care. She felt like someone had set her insides on fire. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t cry, couldn’t do anything but scream and rage into the void.

Eventually she ran out of steam. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed but her throat was raw. Rubbing her face she switched into Slayer mode. Something was up and she was going to get to the bottom of it. Cagey Spike and his caginess be damned.

She forwarded the number he’d called her from to Willow and Andrew. Between the two of them they’d be able to trace it and dig up some dirt on where Spike was. As for how he got there, she was going to need boots on the ground. Luckily Kennedy had last checked in from Arizona a couple of days ago. She couldn’t be far from there and she owed Buffy more than one favor. She might not be Spike’s biggest fan, but she would do some recon and get Buffy the answers she needed. Once she knew what was going on, she could show up in LA and punch Spike and Angel in the face herself.

Buffy felt calmer. She had a plan. It wasn’t perfect but it was a start.

She’d let Spike get away once before. This time would be different. She didn’t know why or how but it seemed the Powers That Be had given her a second chance.

She wouldn’t waste it.

—end—