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#and reassuring me that I’m not a horrible person once I started to have more issues like intrusive thoughts
poppyseed799 · 6 months
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My favorite pastime: roleplaying characters and just making them soso weird and then pulling up the DSM-5 to try to diagnose them
#every time it’s like ‘did I invent a fake mental disorder or are these symptoms applicable to something’#unironically it’s been pretty helpful over the years in making me more aware of all the different kinds of mental illness and such out there#oftentimes I’ll see someone say they have a disorder and I’ll think ‘I remember researching that for my OC’ lol#HONESTLY roleplaying characters with certain issues has been SO helpful in keeping me open minded#and reassuring me that I’m not a horrible person once I started to have more issues like intrusive thoughts#when my intrusive thoughts started to get bad I remembered ‘my oc has those and nobody blames him for it’ then suddenly I was better LOL#it’s so stupid I feel like ppl will say ‘that is NOT how you should be learning about this stuff’ but like idk it’s kinda been working#it’s like how representation is important except I’m making the representation myself…? so… idk. but it inspires me to do research.#anyways I’m currently stumped on one of my characters and how to diagnose him. I’m beginning to think he perhaps experiences delusions.#but I’ll have to do more research.#I haven’t even begun my research so I’m sorry if I’m totally wrong.#also I’m aware many sources might be biased against certain illnesses and such. I already faced that problem searching NPD 😭 I always take#the things I see in top results with a grain of salt. I know people will say ‘talk to ppl who have these disorders!’ but like. how do I tell#them I want to try to diagnose a fictional character that I play. I mean I guess I’m curious anyways? good to know about all this stuff even#without it being applicable to anything personal. but like. can u rlly just say ‘explain ur mental disorder to me’ 😭
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targaryenluvs · 9 months
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— newcomer
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pairing: dark!luke castellan x childofaphrodite!reader
summary: luke becomes quite infatuated with you, the newcomer of the camp.
tw: obsession, stalking, distancing from friends, intimidation, luke is like deep in love, my horrible attempt at describing love? kinda lovebomby, mentions of violence/luke attacking others
word count: 1k words
a/n: my second pjo fic! i think percy is next 👀 - i don’t think i outright described a female reader, let me know if i did so i can change it!! i i’m going to try and be more inconspicuous with genders to fit all ❤️
right from the start, luke could tell there was something special about you.
of course he was to introduce himself to the new kids but for once he wanted to meet you. with a warm smile and his reassuring words, you were made to feel at home quite quickly.
you’d thought of luke being friendly in general before learning of the hermes cabin and his welcoming nature, but it didn’t seem to change anything between the two of you. luke was an excellent guide in your eyes, helping you settle into your new life, you were undeniably thankful for him.
he was a pitstop for many, if not all campers once they entered the place, a familiar face to help them all. but for you he seemed to go above and beyond. he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible, and he believed himself to be the key in your life at camp half-blood to happiness. you made him happy.
your bright smile and endearing personality melted his heart, you were a breath of fresh air and he couldn’t wait to bask in it.
even after you were claimed, by aphrodite nonetheless, you stuck around. it made sense to him, you were the most breathtaking person he’d ever seen. whether it was a smile from afar or a long conversation, you always made it a point in your day to spend time with him.
you wouldn’t do that for nobody now would you?
no, your sweet self was kind, especially to him. you liked him, like he liked you, and he’d be damned if he let you go.
you seemed to be the only person who didn’t notice his disdain towards those around you. the way he’d linger around the ares boy who’d been chatting you up at breakfast, the same boy who’d been attacked from behind during capture the flag, suffering a nasty slice on his back.
or how he’d humiliated one of your friends during archery, correcting their stance, taunting their attempts to hit the bullseye, throwing them off and laughing at them when they missed. it was all in good fun, right?
he was like a shadow, unwavering and lurking.
it wasn’t uncommon to find luke a few metres away from wherever you were. to find him accompanying you to dinner, to find the two of you practicing together early in the morning, alone, to focus better of course. slowly but surely he wriggled his way back into your life, all consuming and prominent.
until it was seen as odd to find you alone.
seemingly tied together, woven, meant to be. you completed him, you made him feel alive. you made luke feel electric, on fire almost. your presence and touch began to comfort him most, your voice being the only one to bring him down.
and when you were taken from him, whether by others or in general, he was unbearable.
the shining luke castellan crumbled without his support. he needed you, depended on you, like fire and oxygen, plants and sunlight, a song and dance. you kept him going, you filled his life with purpose, he wasn’t luke castellan, son of hermes, counseller, confidante, friend.
he was lu, he was yours, he was your ‘sunshine’.
and as if he wasn’t already insatiable with you as his friend, when you’d admitted your crush on him, luke was on a whole other level.
“lu,” he hummed, turning his head your way, “i want, i need to tell you something.” the soft grass, the warm sun and gentle breeze, they all calmed his erratic heart. what did you have to say? he despised the idea of not knowing what you were thinking.
luke waited with bated breath, his nails digging into his palm, pressure building, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, not that you’d notice, he wouldn’t let you. “what is it sweetheart?” the two of you were sitting now, previously laid next to eachother on the picnic blanket.
“i think, i think i like you.”
and how could you not?
luke was the epitome of a gentleman, the kindest man you’d ever met. he made you feel special, you could always rely on your sunshine. in the months the two of you had known each other, it seemed he now knew you like the back of his hand. what you liked, what you disliked, the places you wanted to go and the places you’d been. you’d bared your soul to him, and you could only pray he loved you as you did him.
he was your strength, your courage, your friend, even if you hoped for more. he’d been there for you since the start, and you’d be forever grateful. so why not raise your relationship? fully commit to the one person who knew everything?
he’d crafted himself to be yours, to be everything you could ever wish for, as you were for him. luke had been waiting for your complete devotion, and he had it now, no one could make him let go. people often came and went in his life, leaving him in the past, he often felt taken advantage of, he gave up on the idea of someone to stay.
but you’d stay, blind with devotion and poisoned by his love, who on earth and in the heavens could treat you better than him?
your loyal luke.
“well i have a secret for you, only you.”
your eyes lifted to meet his, a small smile on your lips, “tell me luke,” his hand reached for yours, “what’s your secret?” your favourite flower, suddenly pulled from behind your head, placed behind your ear.
“i love you too.” he surged forwards, capturing you by surprise.
was this bliss? is this what it felt to be in love?
luke was intoxicating, his strong hands and loving voice, it consumed you. it was all so much, and it was all you’d ever wanted.
but a small voice in the back of your head was prominent.
you’d never said a single thing about love.
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ask-pomni-blog · 5 months
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Ok this may seem like im grasping at straws here but i need you guys to let me cook for a sec-
HUGE TADC EPISODE 2 SPOILERS
We start off the episode with Pomni’s nightmare, which is a reflection of Pomni’s fears and feelings that are going to be expanded upon throughout the episode. Her main fear isn’t abstracting here, it's the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of not mattering to anybody in the circus. This is seen clearly when Ragatha, Jax, and Caine are shown above the cellar, basically saying “good riddance” upon witnessing Pomni abstract.
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And it makes complete sense that Pomni would feel this way once you look back at the circus’ reaction to Kaufmo abstracting (before the second episode). He doesn’t get acknowledged as someone who has just passed away, he doesn’t even get a moment of silence. Pomni notices this, and after she wakes up from her nightmare, she seems almost reluctant to bond with the rest of the circus members because this fear is still on her mind.
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This is seen particularly when Pomni is speaking to Ragatha. Ragatha attempts to be helpful at any given chance, but most of the time Pomni is lost in her thoughts. Pomni doesn't seem very open to conversate with Ragatha because of her fears. But this isn't unwarranted, Ragatha literally calls the situation from the day before a “doozy” which brings up the fact that Ragatha constantly dismisses important issues, saying that they should just forget about the situation that happened the day before when Pomni left her for the exit. I understand that she’s trying to ease the tension between them, but I fear she might be making it even worse. Additionally, Ragatha dismissing a very important issue like that makes Pomni’s fears stronger, it may seem to Pomni that Ragatha doesn’t care…
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When it’s actually the opposite! The whole episode she tries her best to motivate Pomni (“look, Pomni. We’re already friends with the princess!”, “So, Pomni, I’m sure there’s some way you could help out here.”)
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and she’s also very concerned for Pomni when she’s gone (“...Pomni’s still on board!”, “Oh man, Poor Pomni. I hope she's alright.”, “I’m more worried she’s having another horrible experience.”, “Pomni! Are you okay?”)
However, all these remarks could be seen as condescending from Pomni’s perspective… And on the other hand, Ragatha feels like Pomni blames her for the situation, and that Pomni dislikes her. 
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Returning to the topic of Pomni’s fears, a lot of this is also reflected in her conversation with Gummigoo:
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G:“I don’t matter in the slightest. I’m nothing. My life, my memories… my friends… it’s all fake.” 
P:“...I think I know the feeling.”
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P:“...I guess I just don't want you to feel like you’re nothing. I don’t want anyone to feel like that.”
G:“But I'm not even a real person. Would I even belong?”
P:“I’m sure you wouldn’t belong any less than me.”
Pomni relates to Gummigoo’s fears!! And Pomni is so compassionate and understanding too! …sadly their friendship didn’t last very long… and that brings us back to Ragatha and Pomni. Ragatha tries her best to be reassuring… unfortunately that didn’t work either. AND THIS WHOLE INTERACTION IS JUST- OH MY GOD... LET ME PUT A HUGE EMPHASIS ON THEIR BODY LANGUAGE HERE:
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Also the WORDING HERE:
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and this scene ooohhhhhhh,,,,,,,, this scene...!!
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POMNI IS REASSURED ONCE SHE SEES THAT THE CIRCUS MEMBERS DO CARE. THEY WOULD CARE. HER FEARS DISSAPEAR AND AND- ohhhhmy god this is so sick and twisted.. this ep was.. soooooo good. holy smokes. anyways thank you for listening to my TED talk.
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brackishkittie · 1 year
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yeah it's still september but it's halloween time for me sooo
walking through a haunted house with abby and getting scared and clinging onto her every five minutes. her laughing and comforting you throughout the house and at the end ✨treats you✨ for being so brave🤭
in for it, abby anderson
— abby anderson x black!reader
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synopsis: basically the request. 😭😭
c/n: just nastyyyy bro, car sex, fingering ( r!receiving ), pet names ( baby, babe, doll, sweet girl ), clit slapping, edging, and oral ( r!receiving ).
a/n: this was supposed to come out weeks ago but writers block kicked me in my ass omfg…
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layout creds: @nysrage ( go check her out, her work is amazing btw. 🤭🤭 )
word count: 1.6k
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it’s october and a cool festival opens up every year for everyone to go to, so you and abby decide to go since you guys already go there as if it’s a tradition. after doing mostly everything in eachother’s lines of sight, abby looks at the new haunted house they opened up and her eyes just light up like a little kid looking at a candy store. “babe look! they opened up the haunted house.” she smiles wildly as she looks back at you. abby knew you liked scary shit, but you had your limits and haunted houses were one of them. you feel a frown spread across your face when you saw it.
“ohh!!…abs are you sure you can handle it?” you ask hesitantly, trying to kinda sway her away from it for now. “..yeah?? why do you think I’m trying to get inside of it?” she grabs your hand when you say nothing and walks you over to the line. “I know you not getting sassy with me abby..” you squint at her but she doesn’t take you seriously. “oh you do NOT wanna see sassy.” she laughs and you just roll your eyes. you guys talk half of the waiting time and before you know it, you’re at the front of the line. “enjoy the house!” the employee smiles at you two and lets you both in. not even 5 minutes of being inside of the house, you cling onto abby’s arm. “jeez..and you were asking me if I can handle it?” she laughs and looks around in awe, “these people need a raise, look at how much effort they put! the little ugly dolls are looking at me funny.” she says as she gets a good look at them. you guys don’t even realize that a person in a realistic ass zombie costume was sneaking up behind you guys because when you two turned around? all hell broke loose the way you screamed bloody murder.
“holy shit..YOUR FACE WAS PRICELESS!” abby starts laughing at you at you and you just frown again, “that’s not funny.” you sigh and look around again, hoping that whatever the fuck that thing was wouldn’t pop up again and scare you. “I’m sorry babe, but look, if you can make it through the rest of this house, I’ll reward you at the end. got it?” she wraps an arm around you and you cling onto her once again. she places a reassuring kiss right on your forehead and leads you through the house once more. “they put too much detail into this place..I don’t like it one bit…” you say while your grip on abby gets even tighter. “baby it’s ok, I got you. remember that none of this is actually real so you’ll be ok. I promise.” abby smiles at you and you just stay quiet, you didn’t even realize that you were holding your breath. “how much more longer do we have in here?” you whine, “not that long baby, cmon you can do it. none of this is real.”
you were ok for awhile, trying your best to keep your cool but the feeling of being watched made your stomach do flips and turns. the only thing that kept you at bay was the fact that you were holding onto your girlfriend, abby. “abby I really don’t like this.” you utter, still looking over your shoulder every now and then. “you’re a brave girl, aren’t you? we’re almost out baby.” she rubs your shoulder and you relax, you don’t feel as tense anymore and not even 5 minutes later, you guys finally make it out of that horrible place. “seeee?? no need to be scared, we made it out in one piece.” abby shoves you playfully while laughing at the face you made in return, “remind me to never ever come with you to a haunted house again..” you cross your arms and abby kisses your forehead once again. “who are you gonna cling onto then, hm?” you paused, she was right but you kissed your teeth, “whatever..let’s just get in the car, they’re gonna close soon and it’s pretty late.” you say to her, she nods and wraps an arm around your waist while you two walk back to your shared car.
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“mmfgh— fuck!” you moan out, her fingers deep inside of you, while her tongue skillfully attacks your clit. her eyes never coming off of you, she’s been thinking about getting you like this for atleast half of the whole night. the way you clung onto her, the way your body pressed up against her, the way you just had her head spinning. she was so proud of you, her brave girl going through a haunted house with her and now she just wants to reward you. “abbyyyy..fuck- too much…” you whine, gripping her hair even tighter and bucking your hips, “you can take it, baby, I know you can..cmon doll, you’re brave aren’t you?” she says while she’s still ramming her fingers in and out of you, driving you absolutely nuts. you try to move back but she pulls you back by wrapping a strong arm around your leg, “don’t fucking run.” she mutters. her eyes darkening as she said it, abby looked feral. she slapped your clit and you flinched, biting the inside of your cheek. your clit was so sensitive from all the stimulation and she was aware of that. very aware. abby pulls her fingers out and shoved them into your mouth. “be a good girl and stay still. I won’t tell you again.” you nod and she takes her fingers out of your mouth.
abby slowly rubs at your clit with her thumb, holding and squeezing your left thigh with her hand while she’s holding eye contact with you again. she started rubbing your clit faster and your breathing hitched. “a-abby please it’s too much!” your back arches as you grasp at her arm for support and try to push her away, “so fuckin’ disobedient..” she groans and slaps at your clit again. she shoves her fingers back inside of you and her mouth latches back onto your clit, her tongue swirling around your bud and sucking harder than before, “abby I’m gonna fucking cum! fuckkk!” your hips buck again and as soon as you feel like your gonna cum, abby completely stops. “you can’t cum yet. you didn’t listen, so now you gotta beg for it baby.” she smirks, “sit up and get on my lap.” she pats her leg and you move onto her, and as soon as you did, she pulls your shirt off and immediately starts groping and sucking at your tits. abby looked feral, the way her hand moved down to smack your ass and make its way back over to your ache, she was all over you. as she starts fingering you again, she kisses you sloppily, your lipgloss smudging as she kisses you, and runny mascara tears rolling down your face.
“abby pleaseeee- oh fuck!” you moan out, feeling yourself reaching your high again, “you wanna cum baby? hm?” she slurs, and all you can do is nod as her half-lidded eyes watch you lose yourself from her just shoving her fingers in and out of you. “abby please let me cum..it’s too muchhhh!!” your hand grips at her shoulder and your eyes roll back from all of the stimulation. “go on sweet girl. go ahead and cum for me baby.” abby starts kissing and sucking at your neck while pinching at your sensitive nipples. the stimulation was sending you insane at this point. you look disheveled and completely drained, “I know baby, it’s okay. you’re almost there.” you felt your vision get blurry and your legs go numb as you cummed all over abby’s fingers. “such a good girl. I’ll clean up and get you something to eat on the way okay?..but first maybe get some clothes on because I may have forgotten that we’re in a parking lot…”
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tags: @vnus-starr @mariefilms @machetegirl109 🤎
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darkbluekies · 1 year
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The Hedwig diaries: I want to kill
Warnings: mentions of wanting to kill, yandere, jealousy, obsession
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Dear diary, I want to kill and you have to believe it's more than just selfish reasons. I don't know what else to do. I respect everyone, why can't they respect me? Why does no one think that my relationship is serious? I love Y/N more than anything else in this entire world! Am I the only one seeing that? Certainly not, right?
Someone tried to approach them today in the cafeteria. I could see in an instant that he had no good intentions. I've tried to get Y/N to ditch the grotesque cafeteria food, but they won't hear me out … I can't for the life of me understand why. I've told them that I can get my chef to make lunchboxes for us both, but they squirm when I'm trying. I think it's because of what others will think. Y/N wants to blend in and not stand out. Being with me only complicates that. They told me once that if they would start eating food from my house, they'd stand out even more — people might even think they're a gold digger, that they're using me. I know Y/N, I know they're not. Why do they have to care what others think so badly?
Anyways, this person who talked to my love finally admitted his defeat when Y/N told him to go away. I hugged their arm and they told me that it was okay. They could sense that I got uncomfortable. Bless their wonderful soul. But it wasn't okay. How could anything be okay when someone had just tried to steal my partner in front of me?! As if it didn't even matter?!
I tried not to sulk for the rest of the day, but there was a nagging feeling that I couldn't shake off. Although that person had stepped away, the audacity of them to ask in the first place made me furious and I knew that I wouldn't be able to relax as long as they were around. As long as they breathe. It still makes my blood boil writing now.
"Can I do something to cheer you up?" Y/N asked. "Did I do something wrong?"
Y/N? Do something wrong? How could they ever think such nonsense?! I could tell how worried they were and I instantly felt bad that my horrible mood spilled over to them — to the point where they had started blaming themselves. I kissed them and I hope that was enough to reassure them that they were the most non-wrong thing in my life. Plus, I bought them a juice box from the vending machine to make them happy. They did smile a bit afterwards ♡
Y/N is sleeping right now. They look so sweet, I wish I could keep this moment forever. I've taken countless photos … but I want more. Photos and videos aren't enough. I want to freeze this time and stay here forever. I want to be this moment, as crazy as it may sound. I'm going to bed soon too, but I had to get this out of me or else I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I've never been so furious before. I've never wanted to kill before. I've never liked horror or gore of any kind, but when it comes to Y/N … then it just feels like the only solution. I don't want anyone to look at them the way I do. I don't like it when others capture their precious time. It makes my skin crawl.
I'm going to put down the pen and join my dearest. I’m exhausted after this stressful day. I’m going to ask Y/N if they want to go to the spa tomorrow to relax. 
Yours truly, 
Hedwig 
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nanawritesit · 9 months
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Twice Enemies to Lovers Imagines/ AUs
TW: making out (momo and tzuyu) corruption themes (momo) mentions of killing (sana) revolutionary themes (sana) mentions of daggers and knives (sana and dahyun) reader is kidnapped and tied up (dahyun) sharing a bed (tzuyu) partial nudity (tzuyu) neck kissing (tzuyu) light swearing
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Nayeon: Former Best Friends
Your jaw hit the floor as your next applicant walked into your office for an interview. It was Im Nayeon, your high school best friend who ditched you freshman year to become a cheerleader with all the popular girls. To make matters worse, you had always secretly been in love with her. Not that you would ever admit that to yourself.
“Nice to see you again, Im.” you said flatly, flipping through her resume as she sat down in front of your desk.
She looked confused. “I’m sorry sir/ma’am, but I’m not sure what you…” You glared up at her with ice cold eyes, and suddenly she remembered. “Oh, Y/N… I’m so sorry. I didn’t recognize you…” she stammered meekly.
“Doesn’t surprise me. You hardly acknowledged me after you became the ‘it girl’ of our high school.” you resigned, folding your hands together on your desk. “So, what have you been up to since high school?”
She chuckled uncomfortably, eyes shifting to the ground. “Well, I was at university, but… things didn’t work out this semester.”
“So you’re looking for a job just until the end of the semester?” you asked, trying to sound as professional as possible.
“I’m not sure… But I’ll at least need a job until the end of the year. I’m living back home now.” she explained. “I need a job in the worst way, and to be honest I’m really relieved that you’re the owner of this place.”
You cleared your throat, closing up her resume and looking at her sternly. “So you think that just because you were super popular in school and I wasn’t that I’ll immediately hire you at my restaurant?”
“No, no! Not at all!” she insisted, eyes widening. “It’s just… you’re a very kind person. And you’ve always had a way of making me feel calm. I always remembered that, even if I didn’t recognize you at first.”
You winced. There she went again, making you feel special. It scared you how easily her praise still got to you.
“Oh… sorry for jumping to conclusions.” you mumbled.
“No, it’s alright…” she reassured you, seemingly okay with taking all the blame. “I’m really sorry we drifted apart. I never meant to hurt you. You were actually the person I cared about more than anything. I just thought you wouldn’t want to be friends with a cheerleader given how much we used to make fun of them.”
You glanced at the ground nervously. You were kind of a pick-me in high school. Not that it was your fault, you were just conditioned to be that way. In high school, you were either popular, or you hated everything related to being popular.
“I understand.” you told her. “It was quite a long time ago.”
“See… I’m not doing well in my classes, and my parents said I can’t move back home unless I find a job first.” she explained, eyes locking in on yours. “Please, consider me.”
Her pretty eyes were sparkling with need the way they always did, and your last reserve finally cracked at the sight of them.
“Okay, okay, the job is yours.” you told her, a reluctant smile appearing on your face.
“Really?” she asked, a huge grin breaking out on her face. “Oh, thank you so much!” She stood up to shake your hand making you laugh.
“No problem. Can you start tomorrow?” you asked, still sitting at your desk.
“Yes, I’ll be here!” she chirped, grabbing her bag. “You won’t regret this, I promise!”
Once she shut the door behind her, you plopped your head down on your desk, releasing a huge sigh. “Oh, I most likely will.”
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Jeongyeon: Bad First Impression
You were running horribly late for your first day on the job. You had gotten an internship at a high end company, and were expected to bring everyone coffee in the morning. So now, you were carrying a carrier full of four huge iced coffees while sprinting down the sidewalk. You could see your building in the distance, all you had to do was turn one corner and you would make it to work on time!
That was, until you actually turnt the corner and slammed straight into a girl who was walking while on her phone. All four of the iced coffees splashed between the two of you, ruining both of your outfits.
“Oh my gosh, watch where you’re going!” she screeched, wiping coffee off her face.
“Me?” you questioned, fixing your hair. “You’re the one who wasn’t looking where you were going! Maybe if you weren’t glued to your phone, we wouldn’t be covered in coffee right now!”
She scoffed. “Well maybe if you weren’t running with a carrier full of coffees…”
You both stopped what you were doing as your eyes locked in on each other. She was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that makes your heart stop beating. She seemed to be caught off guard by you as well, the two of you just staring at each other blankly for a moment.
“I’m sorry, this was totally my fault.” you chuckled, adjusting your bag. “I shouldn’t have been running down the sidewalk.”
“No, you’re right, it was stupid to be on my phone while I was walking. I’m sorry for not paying attention.” she refuted, laughing along with you. “I’m Jeongyeon, by the way.”
“Y/N.” you told her, shaking her hand. “I’m sorry I covered you in coffee. I’m just running horribly late for my first day on the job…” you sighed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Although I’m sure I can kiss it goodbye now, as I’m either going to show up soaked in coffee or an hour late.”
“I’m really sorry about that…” she said sympathetically. “Where’s the job?”
“Right behind us, actually.” you laughed, gesturing behind you.
“Oh my gosh, I work here!” she told you exasperatedly. “In the administrative department!”
“That’s where I’m interning!” you gasped, a hopeful smile making its way onto your face.
“This is perfect. I’ll just call the office and say that someone ran into the two of us while we were walking in, and that we had to go change clothes.” she suggested.
“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver!” you sighed in relief, placing a hand affectionately on her arm. “Are you sure they’ll accept that as an excuse though?”
“Oh please, everyone here loves me. My word is law.” she giggled, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Now, let’s go get you some fresh clothes and new coffees, okay? I’ll even buy my own, since I’m pretty sure one of them was.”
You laughed along with her, letting her lead you down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Somehow, you had made an enemy, ally, and crush all in the same day. Lord help you in navigating this relationship.
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Momo: Angel/ Demon AU
You bit your tongue in anger. Things were not going well with your latest assignment. You were trying to be a guardian angel to a certain human to improve their life. However, this human also happened to be under the influence of a demon. Not only a demon, but one of the most powerful demonesses in your department. Momo Hirai.
“Something wrong, angel?” a sultry voice asked. You whipped around to see her standing at the entryway of your human’s living room. You could see them, but they couldn’t see you. She was absolutely captivating, with her dark hair, ruby red lips, and tight black dress.
Remembering yourself, you looked away. “As a matter of fact, yes. You are.” you spat, crossing your arms across your chest.
“Oh, I didn’t know you thought about me so much.” she grinned, stepping closer to you. “I wonder what twisted little fantasies are running through that pretty little head.”
“You wish.” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “I happen to be a being of purity.
“How boring…” Momo sighed, stopping in front of you, who was leaned against the wall. “I figured someone like you would feel really repressed. Nothing causes the mind to wander more than being cooped up with a bunch of puritans.”
You swallowed hard. How had she known that you’d been having sinful thoughts lately? You wondered if she also knew that she was the subject of some of them.
Deciding you had to stand your ground, you held your head up high. “It’d be none of your business if I did.”
“Oh, I know…” she glanced down at your lips momentarily, then met your eyes once more. “I just can’t help myself. Seeing you, who’s so bright and clean… it makes me think about how much I’d like to corrupt you.”
Your heart stopped. Every part of your brain was screaming at you to resist her.
“L-like how?” You could barely control the words coming out of your mouth.
She grinned a sinister smile, brushing some of your hair behind your shoulder and playing with it. “Well, for starters, I could run my fingers through this pretty hair…”
Your eyes squinted shut at the feeling of her doing so, hating how good it felt.
“I could gaze into these sparkling doe eyes…” she purred, tilting your chin up to look her in the eye. Her own dark eyes were locked in on yours, pupils dilated but squinted slightly like a siren’s.
You allowed her to push you further against the wall, showing absolutely no sign of displeasure at her actions. “Then what?” you whispered.
“Then… I could kiss these beautiful, delicious lips…” Momo finally leaned down and connected her lips with yours, pressing her body up against yours with a fiery passion.
You moved your arms up around her waist, hands gripping onto her for dear life. The pleasure was so great, you almost forgot why you vowed to resist temptation in the first place.
Her hands snaked up into your hair, tugging slightly and making you whimper into her mouth. You could feel her smirk at this, and with the knowledge that you were enjoying yourself, she slipped her tongue into your mouth, letting it explore slightly before pulling away.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” you muttered breathlessly, forehead still pressed against hers. “Both of us could get fired if anyone found out about this.” Demons and angels were not allowed to have relationships. “Besides, how do I know you’re not just using me to win over my human?”
“You can have the human.” she told you without hesitation. “I don’t need them. Right now, I only want you.”
You looked at her closely, studying her expression for any sign of dishonesty. If this was a trick, or one of her lustful schemes, she wouldn’t have been so upfront about it. She would’ve been sneakier.
“I want you too, Momo…” you sighed, crashing your lips into hers once again.
Maybe you would lose your angel status for this, but you knew that no amount of purity would ever feel as good as Momo on your lips would.
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Sana: Royal/ Assassin AU
You grunted as you scaled the wall of the castle with a dagger in each hand. One of them would momentarily be used to kill the princess in her sleep. You winced as you thought about what you had to do, feeling your stomach turn.
You were a member of a rebel legion who was planning on overthrowing the palace during a coup. While you weren’t too thrilled about having to kill anyone, you believed the king and queen deserved it. They were incessantly cruel to their subjects, denying them any assistance and punishing them when they took matters into their own hands. Your people were dying of starvation while they were having extravagant parties, and something had to be done about it.
There really was no reason to kill the princess other than your leader feared it would be unwise to leave the only rightful heir to the throne alive. You didn’t think it was right, but the suffering you and your people endured overcame that.
As you reached Princess Sana’s bedroom window, you carefully crept inside and over to her canopy bed. As the moonlight graced her features, your breath hitched in your throat. She looked so peaceful, so content… not to mention, she was positively breathtaking.
You sighed defeatedly, realizing you couldn’t possibly harm this innocent girl. You stepped back and dropped your daggers on the floor, startling her awake.
“Hm? What’s going on? Who are you?” she asked, clutching her blankets to her chest in fear.
“Sh, it’s okay. I’m here to help.” you tried to reassure her. “There’s a rebel legion that’s going to assassinate the king and queen momentarily, and they want to kill you too. If you want to live, you’ll have to escape with me right now.”
She gasped, throwing her blankets off of her. She looked so adorable in her long white nightgown and pink hair bow. “Oh my, let’s go then!”
You grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway and out through the back of the palace. You knew your legion would only be using the front entrance.
The two of you ran off into the night, ducking into a nearby forest for protection. Luckily it was a warm summer night, and the weather was mild.
“I’m sorry about your parents.” you finally spoke as you both caught your breath. It hadn’t dawned on you that Sana might not take the news of her parents assassination very well until just now.
“It’s alright. To be honest, I’ve always hated them. I was hoping to become a better leader than them one day, but they were only interested in marrying me off to a nearby kingdom. I’m just glad the kingdom will be heading in a better direction.” She sat down by the riverbed, taking her hair out of its bow and letting it fall over her shoulders in loose waves. “Thank you for rescuing me.”
“I don’t deserve any thanks.” you sighed, sitting down next to her. “I was the one who was supposed to kill you.”
She gave you an unfazed expression. “Well, you didn’t. And I never really liked being a princess anyway. I’ve always craved a life of adventure.”
“Well, you’re certainly going to get it.” you chuckled, stretching out to lay down in the grass. “We’re going to have to flee the kingdom, or at least go to the countryside. They’re going to wonder where the lost princess is, and why she wasn’t executed.”
She laid down next to you, curling into your side. “But… you’ll protect me right?” Her eyes were so big and twinkling with innocence. She looked as if she would shatter into a million pieces without you.
“Why do you trust me so easily?” you asked her genuinely. Any other princess wouldn’t have even believed you, let alone followed you into the woods.
She smiled cutely, brushing some of your hair back. “I had a dream once that someone came into my room and saved me from being a princess.” She traced your features with your finger. “They looked just like you.”
Your mouth fell slightly agape. You were never one to believe in fate or destiny, but this girl was making you second guess yourself.
“Now, are you going to take care of me?” she asked again.
“Of course I will.” you told her, running a hand through her long hair. “Now, let’s get some sleep. I’ll find us some breakfast in the morning.”
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Jihyo: Idol Rivalry
Park Jihyo was the bane of your existence. The two of you had hated each other for years, and for good reason. For one, you were both under different companies that constantly compared artists with each other. Two, both of your groups debuted around the same time, and since then it felt like every time your group got a moment in the spotlight, Twice would come along and upstage you. And three, you were both leaders, so everyone expected you to get along due to your similar roles. However, all that meant was that you were both extra protective of your groups, and even more hostile when someone threatened their success.
Today, however, your rivalry was coming to an eruption as both of your groups were performing at the MAMA awards. Luckily, they were spaced apart enough to where it wouldn’t look like one of you was the opening act for the other. Both of your groups put their absolute all into the performances, and everyone agreed that you both owned the award show.
Your members somehow all got along. It was just you and Jihyo that couldn’t seem to find a common ground.
You were thinking this over as you walked up to her dressing room after the show. You decided it was time to be a grown up and hash things out with her. You took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.
“Come in.” she chirped from behind the door. You walked in, seeing her at her vanity, still in her stage outfit. You lost the plot for a bit as you took in her features. Her beautiful skin, her pretty eyes, her perfect smile… wait, when did she get so gorgeous?
“Oh… hi Y/N.” she interrupted your thoughts with genuine surprise. “What are you doing here?”
You shut the door behind you and walked up to her. “I’ve come with an olive branch.” you began in a serious tone.
She glanced behind you, furrowing her brows. “Really? I don’t see one.”
You bit your tongue to keep from laughing. Damn, she was funny, but you were trying to have a serious moment!
“A metaphorical olive branch.” you sighed, pretending to be annoyed to save face. “We’ve been fighting for years because of stupid reasons. I think it’s time we sort out our differences.”
She smiled warmly, inviting you to sit down on her sofa. “So, what exactly are our differences?” she asked, starting to remove her makeup.
“Well for starters, you guys have always overshadowed us.” you told her. “Every time we’d start getting attention, you guys would immediately do something even better, and then it was all anyone could talk about. I guess I was sick of the company always telling us how much better you guys are.”
She paused, making eye contact with you in her mirror. “Are you serious?”
You nodded. What did she mean ‘are you serious,’ of course you were serious! It wasn’t that hard to comprehend.
“Oh my god, that’s so funny…” she laughed out loud, shaking her head. She spun around in her chair to face you. “Y/N, ever since we debuted, all our company does is compare us to you.”
“You’re kidding…” you marveled, eyes widening in shock.
“No, I’m serious! I especially get compared to you a lot. You’re super mature and have killer visuals, not to mention you’re one of the best dancers in the industry.” she praised, leaning back in her chair slightly.
“Oh please, I would commit arson to have your vocal skills! You light up a whole stadium with them!” you told her enthusiastically. “You’re so bright and energetic, and you’re absolutely stunning. I mean, who wouldn’t hate you?” you joked, slapping her on the knee playfully.
The two of you laughed for a moment, then sat in a comfortable silence. It was probably the most pleasant interaction you’d ever had.
“Did we just compliment each other?” she asked suddenly, cocking her head to the side.
You shrugged. “I guess so. Maybe we’re not so different after all.”
She smiled affectionately, moving to sit next to you on the sofa. “I actually think I quite like you now.”
The way she was looking at you made you feel butterflies. You didn’t know if you were seeing things or what, but she looked as if she was absolutely captivated by you.
You shrugged cheekily, a sly smirk making its way onto your face. “I kind of like you too. See you around?”
She nodded enthusiastically, a hopeful glint in her eyes. With that, you turned and exited her dressing room, pressing your hands to your warm cheeks.
How did that just happen?
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Mina: Fake Dating
“I can’t believe they actually fell for it!” Mina marveled as you both exited the party into the cool night air.
“I know right! Like, are they really that stupid?” you laughed, leading her back to your car.
You wondered how everyone had set aside all their memories of you two absolutely hating each other when you walked into the party holding onto her waist. Anyone with eyes could see that you and Mina despised each other before. You guessed that the two of you were just really good at acting.
What led to your truce was that both of your crushes weren’t paying any attention to either of you. You were trying to win back your ex, whereas Mina’s crush had totally friend-zoned her. So, you came to an agreement that you would pretend to date each other in order to hopefully make your crushes jealous.
You were worried that it was going to be hard to sell your affections for Mina, but it turned out to be surprisingly easy. From spending time with her, you were able to see that she was actually really funny, incredibly bright, and sensitive. Not to mention, she was a perfect ten. That was part of the reason you hated her so much.
As you drove off to drop Mina off at her house, you kept glancing over at her with an amused smile.
“What?” she asked, giggling slightly.
“Nothing, it’s just… you’re so different from what I thought you were.” you answered, eyes focusing back on the road.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she interrogated you, crossing her arms with a smirk.
“Well, to be honest, I thought you were incredibly stuck-up. I mean, you hardly paid any attention to me, and whenever you did, it was to disagree with something I said.” you chuckled.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that…” she apologized, shifting her body to face you more. “I have a tendency to close myself off when I find someone intimidating.”
You scoffed in disbelief. “Intimidating? How could you find me intimidating?”
“Oh come on, Y/N!” she rolled her eyes, hitting your arm lightly. “You’re like the coolest person ever! When you talk, everyone pays attention to you. It makes me so jealous the way you command a room.”
You shook your head in amazement. “I had no idea you felt that way…”
“Yeah well, I do.” she laughed. She ran a hand through her hair as if to calm herself down.
The two of you enjoyed a comfortable silence for a moment until you spoke again. “You did a really good job today.”
“Thanks, so did you.” she complimented you, nudging you slightly.
“I’m sure your crush is still thinking about how good we looked together.” you pointed out.
“Oh yeah, them…” she resigned, looking out the window absentmindedly. “Well, I’m sure your ex felt the same way.”
You glanced over at her. Why did she seem to shut down when you brought up your love interests? Isn’t that what she had wanted out of this?
“Well, there you are ma’am.” you announced as you pulled into her driveway.
She snapped out of her daze and grabbed her purse, turning to you with a smile. “Thanks again, Y/N. You make a wonderful fake partner.” Suddenly, she leaned forward and planted a brisk kiss on your cheek. You looked at her in disbelief, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Just practicing. You know, for the next time we see them.”
“Oh, r-right…” you stammered, shifting anxiously in your seat. “Well, see you later!”
“Bye bye!” she waved, cutely scampering away into her house.
You sighed, slamming your head against the steering wheel. Suddenly, a relationship with Mina was sounding a lot better than getting back with your ex. Why did you think this was a good idea again?
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Dahyun: Hero/ Villain AU
You struggled against your restraints, rocking the chair you were tied to back and forth. You were previously on a mission from the hero agency to retrieve a stolen artifact from a well-known villain, but something had went wrong, and they ended up capturing you. Now, you were tied up and didn’t know what awaited you.
You screeched into the cloth around your mouth in frustration, feeling hot tears prick at your eyes as you realized there was no way to get out of these ropes. Damn it all. Was this going to be how you were going to be taken down?
Suddenly, you heard a rustling coming from the window in the corner of the room. You furrowed your brow in confusion, until it opened and in tumbled Kim Dahyun, your arch-nemesis.
“Dahyun? What are you doing here?” you asked, although it just sounded like a bunch of muffled syllables to her.
“Sh, I’m here to get you out of here.” she instructed you. She then came over to undo the cloth around your mouth and slice through your ropes with her knife.
“Why are you helping me?” you asked, massaging your wrists from their rope burn.
“Because, you’re my enemy.” she smirked, crawling back through the window she had previously entered in. “If anyone’s going to take you down, it’s going to be me.”
You scoffed with a smile, getting up to follow her. “I won’t go down so easily.”
“Oh I know. I’m looking forward to it.” she cockily winked. “Now, are you coming or not?” She extended her hand to you, face illuminated by the soft candlelight of the room. God, she was devastatingly beautiful. Perhaps in another universe, the two of you would’ve made a great couple.
You brushed the thoughts away, knowing they could only lead to heartache, and instead just took her hand and fled with her by your side. Maybe you didn’t need a relationship with her. This game of cat and mouse was too damn fun anyway.
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Chaeyoung: Forced to Hang Out by Mutual Friends
You walked into the restaurant, face twisting into a scowl as you realized only one person was at your table: Son Chaeyoung, whom you could not stand. However, you had to get along with her because she was a part of your friend group. You knew she didn’t really care for you either, but also agreed to keep the peace for the sake of your mutual friends.
You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, then walked over to the table to sit across from her. “Hi Chaeyoung.” you said, flatly but still politely.
She looked up from her phone and cracked a forced smile. “Hey there, Y/N.”
“I wonder why everyone’s so late.” you commented, trying to make small talk.
“I’m not sure.” she replied. The two of you shared an awkward silence, save for your repetitive tapping on the table. After a while she coughed uncomfortably.
“Hi there! Are you two here for the couple’s special?” the waitress suddenly asked as she arrived at your table.
You both looked at each other horrified. “No, we’re definitely not a couple…” you insisted.
“Yeah we’re just waiting for some of our friends.” Chaeyoung explained to her, chuckling nervously.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” the waitress apologized. “I’ll come back in a few minutes, okay?” You both nodded, and she scurried off to the other end of the restaurant. Wow… you thought, the two of you were so uncomfortable it was spreading to other people.
“I’ll text them and see what’s keeping them.” Chaeyoung announced, picking her phone back up. However, her eyes widened as soon as she looked at the screen. “Apparently Rosè is sick.”
“Really? That’s odd. She seemed fine yesterday…” you replied, grabbing your own phone. You too already received a text, but from Yeoreum.
yeoreum 🌻: “hey, sorry to cancel last minute, but i forgot i have a doctors’ appointment :( say hi to the girls for me!”
You sighed, setting your phone back down. “Well, Yeoreum bailed too.”
“Are you serious?” Chaeyoung asked. “Well, at least there’s…” However she never got to finish her sentence, because both of your phones rang at the same exact time. You were getting a call from Somi, and she was getting a call from Jinsol. You both snatched up your phones again and slammed the answer button.
“Hey Y/N!” Somi chirped on the other end of the line. “I gotta cancel today. Forgot I already made plans with my sister!”
“No, Somi please-“
“Have fun! Give my love to the girls!” she responded, hanging up.
You squinted your eyes shut and sighed, setting your phone down to see Chaeyoung doing the exact same. “Jinsol too?”
“Yep.” she nodded. “Something about a family reunion.”
It was obvious that all your friends had planned this in an effort to get you and Chaeyoung to spend time with each other and hopefully sort out your differences. However, right now that seemed like a lost cause, as both of you were consumed with irritation and discomfort at the situation.
“Great…” you grumbled, putting your head in your hands. “Guess we’re stuck with each other.”
“I don’t get what your problem is with me.” she snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.
“Me? You’re the one with the problem!” you responded defensively. “You’ve always hated me for no reason. I can see it in the way you talk to me.”
“That’s not true!” she replied angrily, furrowing her brow in frustration. “I was just upset with you because you threw that huge party a year ago and invited everybody but me! I had to hear about it from Bangchan of all people!”
Your jaw unhinged in disbelief. You had totally forgotten about that event, and how you never invited Chaeyoung. To tell the truth, you couldn’t even remember why you didn’t invite her in the first place.
“I didn’t know it bothered you so much…” you marveled, leaning back in your chair as if backing down from your anger. “I guess… maybe I assumed you wouldn’t want to go? You don’t really seem like the type to enjoy a huge party.”
“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have want to be invited.” she retorted, glancing down at the table nervously.
You blinked, straightening yourself up. “You’re right. That was really rude of me. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you.”
She smiled genuinely for the first time since you had known her. “I appreciate that.”
“If I have another party and invite you, will you stop hating me?” you chuckled.
“I wouldn’t say I hated you…” she replied, softening even more. “There were still things I really liked about you.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” you asked, trying not to be too enthusiastic with your curiosity.
“You have a really pretty smile, you’re super passionate about what you do, you’re really sharp and witty…” she listed out with a bright grin. “You’re really cool. I guess that’s why I was so mad you didn’t invite me.”
“I understand why you were mad, and I’m sorry again.” you replied, looking at her sympathetically. “But it didn’t come from a place of malice. I actually think you’re really cool.”
“You do?” she inquired perplexedly.
“Of course I do! You always make everyone laugh, you’re super nice to everybody… and you’ve got a really cute face.”
She grinned, and you swore you saw her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “You think I’m cute?”
Now it was your turn to blush. You cleared your throat, then glanced away with shifty eyes. “I mean, like objectively. You have bright eyes or whatever.”
She giggled quietly to herself, then as soon as your eyes were focused back on her, she spoke again. “I think you’re pretty cute too.”
You couldn’t help the smile that crept it’s way up your expression, looking away again bashfully.
“Do we still need a few more minutes?” the waitress asked, suddenly appearing again.
“Nope, I think we’re ready.” you replied, glad to be changing the subject. “I guess we will take that couple’s special since it’ll just be the two of us.”
“Oh, well it’s actually only for real couples…” the waitress told you sympathetically.
“What if this was our first date?” Chaeyoung asked her. Your eyes widened as you whipped your head around to look at her. She was just looking at the waitress with a confident grin. You had never seen her so bold, and you had to admit, it was really attractive. You were starting to kick yourself for messing things up with her in the past. You could’ve been around her best self this whole time… well, at least you were seeing it now. And you couldn’t get enough of it. You loved the excitement about where things were going with her.
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Tzuyu: Only One Bed
You frowned as you realized who had just walked into your hotel room. “What are you doing here Tzuyu?”
“Believe me, this wasn’t my choice.” she groaned, shoving the door shut behind her. “Apparently the hotel booked up their last room by accident. And since you’re the only one who doesn’t have a roommate yet, I’m going to have to room with you.”
“Are you serious?” you asked, sitting up in your bed. “Aren’t there any other hotels in the area?”
“I went all around the neighborhood looking for one. Why do you think I’m soaked? It’s pouring down rain right now.” she complained. “They’re all booked up too.”
You took in her appearance. “Where’s your suitcase?”
“Airport lost it.” she replied, an angry sarcastic smile on her face. “This is a really great vacation so far. None of my things, and I’m stuck with you.”
“Yeah, well I’m not exactly thrilled about this either.” you sneered, shuffling your way out of bed. “Here, you can have one of my big shirts.”
She looked amazed. “Wait, are you actually being nice to me?”
You glared at her. “I may not like you very much, but I’m not heartless. Now go change.” You threw the shirt at her and got back into bed. You thought you caught a glimpse of a smirk on her face, but she turned the corner to the bathroom so fast you couldn’t be sure.
You got settled in bed again, then stared up at the ceiling. You were currently on a group vacation with all of your friends. Well, Tzuyu wasn’t your friend, but she had come along because she was close with some of your friends. You did kind of feel sorry for her… it had to suck losing all of your things. You shook your head. There was no need to feel sympathy for her when she had never made any effort to be nice to you. However, your thoughts were interrupted as she re-emerged from the bathroom, wearing nothing but your shirt. Your heart stopped. She looked really cute, with her wet hair and bare legs.
She chuckled cockily. “Like what you see?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” you scoffed, rolling over in resignation.
She laughed at you again, walking over to the other side of the bed and crawling in. “Try to control yourself Y/N, we’ll both need some sleep for all the stuff they have planned tomorrow.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” you laughed, curling up in displeasure. “Rosè and Chaeyoung were way too excited about going downtown.”
“I know right? Like, how many shops can you go to before you get bored?” Tzuyu joked, making you laugh even harder. “And Elkie and Shuhua want to go to that museum…”
“Oh my god, what a snooze-fest.” you rolled your eyes, making her cackle even louder. You started chuckling again too, and soon you were both consumed with laughter.
“Do you realize this is the first time we’ve had a conversation without arguing?” you asked, leaning over to face her with an amused smile.
“Yeah… it was pretty nice.” she responded, looking at you and resting her head against the pillow. You both just stared at each other affectionately for a moment, taking in each others’ features. “Well, I guess we should go to sleep.”
“Yeah…” you agreed, moving to turn off the lamp. “Goodnight Tzuyu.”
“Goodnight Y/N.”
You lied awake for a moment, glancing over at her every so often. You couldn’t help the giddy, flustered feeling that crept up in your chest. You never knew Tzuyu could be so pleasant, and you were excited you got to share a room with her for the rest of the vacation. And you were even more excited to share a bed with her. Your mind started to wander about holding her, touching her, kissing her…
You shook your head, shuffling a bit. You couldn’t think these things while she was asleep next to you. Unless… maybe she was thinking them too?”
“Y/N?” she suddenly asked, rolling over to face you.
Your heart stopped. Holy shit, was she reading my mind?
“Yeah?” you asked, mirroring her actions.
You both stared at each other in desperation for a while, until she dove forward and kissed you passionately. You were taken aback for a second, but soon brought your hands up around her neck. She shifted to straddle you, kissing you more intensely. She pulled away for a breather just as your hands were going up into her hair.
“I hate you.” she smirked evilly, gasping for air.
“I despise you.” you retaliated, yanking her hair slightly and making her whimper a bit. You used her moment of weakness as an opportunity and pushed her over to straddle her. You began kissing her again, then moved down to nip at her neck and chest. “Let me show you just how much I do.”
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brnesblogposts · 7 months
Text
Loving you is the best thing i’ve ever done.
(repost)
pairing: matty healy x reader
warnings: angst, fluff, mental health ?
reblogs appreciated if you liked it :)
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Staring at the ceiling, a million thoughts going through your head at once. Trying so hard to keep the tears from falling but the overthinking caught up to you as quiet sobs escaped your lips, trying to keep quiet as to not wake up the peaceful looking man beside you.
Your brain had yet again convinced you that you didn’t deserve love, that everyone was pretending to like you but in reality was repulsed by you. This kind of spiral hadn’t happened in awhile but it creeped up on you tonight and all you could do was ride it through and hope you felt better in the morning.
He started to stir beside you while you held your breath hoping you hadn’t woke him, being a burden to him as he was finally getting a good nights sleep is not what you wanted to do. You squeezed your eyes shut trying to stop the tears when you felt a hand push hair out of your face.
“Baby?” his soft voice broke the silence, “what’s wrong, darling?” he asked while looking at you with concern.
“I’m sorry, i’m so sorry” you repeated as you held your palms over your face. You climbed out of bed and went to leave the bedroom before his voice stopped you,
“where are you going?” there was a sadness to it, but that was probably because you’d woken him up, he’s better off without you anyway.
“I’ll just sleep on the sofa, go back to sleep I won’t bother you anymore” and before you could leave the room he leaped out of bed and grabbed your arm, turning you around where you could see his eyes sparkling in the dim lighting.
“Talk to me, did I do something?” he asked and you felt horrible for making him think he was the cause of your outburst.
“No, no it’s my fault, i’m sorry I disturbed you, i’m sorry for everything” you rambled on.. “what do you mean?” he asked while his thumbs stroked your cheeks, wiping away the tears.
“I’m sorry for being a burden, I know i’m annoying and weird and you put up with me out of pity, you deserve someone better, someone not.. broken” your tears falling harder now.
“I’m sorry for the shit you’ve had to put up with, Matty. I’m fucked in the head” you wanted the ground to swallow you whole, you felt vulnerable and like a freak.
“Listen to me, hey” he tilted your head up to look him in the eyes, “You. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you are never and could never be a burden. you know more than anyone how much I hate sincerity but I can do it with you, because you are my person. I love you. Don’t let your brain convince you otherwise”
He pulled you into his chest and let you ball, at some point moving you both to sit on the bed. Matty was stroking your hair and shushing you in a reassuring manner, telling you it was gonna be okay, eventually the sound of your sobs died down and you pushed away from Matty’s chest to wipe a hand over your eyes and push your now damp hair behind your ears.
“Baby, I need you to know that whenever you’re having these thoughts you can talk to me, I never want you to feel like you’re going through it alone because you’re not.” He put his hands on your upper arms and reassured you, “We’re all a little bit fucked up in the head, it’s apart of the human experience, there’s gonna be bad days but the good ones outweigh them, you’re the funniest, most loving, accepting and caring person i know, not to mention smoking hot” at that you let out a little laugh.
“You’re stuck with me, I love you and all your quirks and even that silly little beautiful brain of yours” he kissed the top of your head and pulled you into his side,
“I’m trying so hard to believe you but my brain won’t let me” you replied.
“Well know I mean it, even if you don’t believe me, it’s true.” He motioned for you to move back over to your side and you did, he got back under the covers and held out his arm as you shuffled into his side.
“Try get some sleep, okay? I’m right here if you need me” another kiss to the crown of your head as he started mindlessly brushing his fingers through your hair.
“I love you” you mumbled as sleep started to take over,
“I know” is all you heard before you passed out listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.
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Note
HERO BEING SEDUCED INTO A VILLAIN
(seduced by the villain ofc) /prompt
“Very good,” the villain praised. “A little deeper.”
There was a crack and the hero gasped, sweating and panting. It felt unreal, it was wrong and it was beyond what they’d expected to be capable of.
“A bit more, sweetheart.” Another crack and then, the hero couldn’t watch anymore. With tears burning in their eyes, they swallowed. Suddenly, they were overwhelmed with emotions. It was too much, too strange. “Perfect.”
The villain’s voice was a purr and their words were like honey. Reassuring, definitely, but sometimes a little too sticky to be good. Their hand around the hero’s was warm and they squeezed gently, thumb drawing little squares into the skin.
“I…” The hero stared at the body.
“You killed them,” the villain whispered. They sounded impressed. “Quite intimately.”
They felt like they had to throw up. The hero looked at the blood and the knife in the supervillain’s chest. The villain’s hand was still around theirs and it still felt weirdly freeing, yet so wrong. But the supervillain had killed with no mercy, right?
“Are you sure they’ve got no pulse?” the hero asked, heart pounding in their chest.
“Pretty much. You stabbed through their lungs and into their heart. Seems deadly to me, love.” The villain kissed the hero’s neck as a reward, catching skin between their teeth to be a little rougher. “You’re being so good.”
“God, this isn’t right. I shouldn’t have killed them,” the hero said but the villain pulled them away gently, hands gliding down to their waist.
“They were a horrible person,” they said as they continued to kiss the hero from behind. “They deserved it.”
“I…” The hero’s head spun.
“Don’t you remember what they did to you?” The villain turned them around easily and went through the hero’s hair with their fingers. “Have you forgotten?”
“No, I just…this feels wrong. They’re—” The hero looked back at the body on the floor, bleeding out. However, the villain caught their jaw and turned their head right back to them.
“Sweetheart.” Their eyes dropped slowly and the hero knew that promised a loving kiss. It felt good to be close to someone after all these months of self-loathing. Somehow, the villain understood and the hero knew they were the only one who ever could.
It was unquestionable loyalty. The hero knew the villain would do anything for them and the hero felt like they had to repay that kindness. Encouragement was like a drug to them.
“You did so well,” the villain whispered and, indeed, they leaned down to press a soft kiss to the hero’s lips. “You’re so perfect.”
Involuntarily, the hero blushed and returned the intimacy, lips against lips, hand in hand, chest against chest. They hesitated at first but the villain’s hands around them steadied them, took their mind off the violent scene. Although they tried their best not to pay too much attention to it, they couldn’t help but notice the blood on the villain’s suit.
Slowly, the villain got bolder though, kissed more passionately, grabbed inappropriate parts of the hero’s body.
“You were doing so well…” they whispered again and the hero couldn’t help but sigh when they had to hold onto the villain so they wouldn’t fall over.
“You think so…?”
“I know so. Killing someone is hard, I understand. But this was a necessity, my love. This had to be done. Your enemies deserve it. They’re horrible people, all of them.”
The villain got a lot lewder as their hands started to find all sorts of ways to get under the hero’s suit.
“I’m so proud of you.”
The hero shuddered, clearly enjoying the praising and with all the touching, they nearly forgot where they were. Nearly.
“Wait…not here…” they gasped and thank god the villain agreed.
It turned them into someone obsessive soon after but the hero truly didn’t miss their humanity once the villain convinced them to kill that too.
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darkcircles4lyfe · 1 year
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Love in Chaos
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The way chapter 393 seized me from the inside out, brought me to my knees, smiling with fierce glee—it was all the proof I needed. All at once, a checklist I didn’t even know I was keeping started getting all its boxes ticked. I’ll admit that for some time, I haven’t been sure exactly how Toga’s story should be handled for her to get the care, nuance, and dignity she deserves. So I’ve been resigned, waiting to see what Horikoshi has to say about it. I didn’t know until I saw it, but I can tell we’re on exactly the same page.
This fight between Ochako and Toga—or should I say Himiko, since ya know, they’re both on a first name basis now—it’s a kind of breaking point for the overarching narrative and its themes. Here is where the big questions about hero/villain society are not only asked, but answered. Himiko, more than any of the other main villains, was branded with that label as far back as she can remember, without her having done anything except exist. Thus, she carries the weight of their society’s problems and becomes a symbol of the injustice in prejudice and fear, the brutal agony of being rejected by the world. I’ve maintained this resolve about the story for a long time: I will not be satisfied with an ending that constitutes a return to normal, or even a slightly amended normal. I know that it would be a disservice to Himiko if she were made to fit into society again, whether that be in death or reform or containment. Society has to change for her. After 393, I can tell that Horikoshi knows this too.
It’s the way Ochako steps up to this conversation so boldly and positions herself on Himiko’s side. When Himiko dismisses her words as fickle, claims she’ll go back on them and do horrible things to punish her according to hero society, Ochako comes right back and says no, this isn’t about what you’ve done, this is about you. I see you. I see your beautiful smile and I want to protect it.
Throughout her life, Himiko has not been treated like a real person, so of course this is what she needs. No lecture on morals could disarm her the way acceptance can. It’s also extremely refreshing and reassuring to see Himiko being taken seriously. I’m so incredibly excited for Ochako to accomplish such a completely transgressive act of unconditional love against this harsh world. I could stare in awe of the panels in this chapter for hours, how they’re drawn at the exact intersection of beauty, pain, and honesty. Grotesque violence and elegance. Power and vulnerability. I was so overcome that, for a while, I failed to register a crucial implication.
Enter: The Female Vampire Carmilla
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She is referenced merely in passing, but as a rejected villain name for Himiko, speaks volumes. It’s difficult for me to find the words to summarize… perhaps you’ve heard by now that Carmilla is a gothic horror novella about a lesbian vampire. THE lesbian vampire, in fact—the one who popularized the trope. Knowing this, it is simple enough to apply the story of Laura and Carmilla in parallel to Ochako and Himiko, and register it as direct proof of the dynamic’s sapphic undertones being acknowledged and intentional. I mean. Look at them.
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Yeah. But that’s not all. That isn’t what really makes it noteworthy. Put in context: Himiko has been called a soulless inhuman vampire since childhood, and shunned for it. To her, this or any villain name would be a reminder of her lack of agency in identity. Add to this the overall themes of 393 I just described, and suddenly it becomes clear that Himiko is set in contrast against much of what Carmilla, as a fearful narrative about the supernatural, represents.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me provide some details about Carmilla for those who aren’t familiar. The story was written in 1872 by Sheridan Le Fanu, and belongs to a genre characterized by a revival of Gothic aesthetics in service of providing mystery, intrigue, and suspense to a very Victorian expression of fear. On top of that, Carmilla directly influenced Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and set the precedent for many vampire portrayals to come. Many female vampire characters reference her at least in their name, and the novella has been adapted and reinterpreted countless times. Because of this, it is admittedly difficult to be sure of Horikoshi’s familiarity with the original, or pinpoint any other potential influence he may have picked up from another adaptation. One could quite literally write a whole book about the many iterations and widespread impact of Carmilla. This is why, however, I believe I can confidently say that Himiko being compared to a female vampire has implications that are felt no matter one’s familiarity with the origin of the trope. Certain things are baked into the definition through generations of media. The female (lesbian) vampire implies predation, deception, lust, a danger to innocent young women. She represents an inhuman desire that must be vanquished.
In the novella, the main character Laura becomes a fast, intimate friend to Carmilla, a strikingly beautiful and captivating young lady who has suddenly appeared in her life. Laura admires and loves Carmilla dearly, but feels conflicted in moments where Carmilla is overcome by a desire that is explicitly compared to that of a lover. She talks of blood, death, sacrifice, and unity all while holding her close and kissing her. Whether or not this is hot, or whether Laura reciprocates any desire is, I guess, up to interpretation. But one thing is for sure: the ending of the story is not in Carmilla’s favor. I’d argue it’s not in Laura’s favor either. Look, I was an English major. I’m very familiar with discussions along the lines of “is ___ gay?” and “is ___ a sympathetic portrayal of ___ ?” It’s definitely gay, but the rest is unclear. There might be a tangent to go on about how Le Fanu’s complicated relationship with religion may have informed his characterization of General Spielsdorf and the other men who hunted down Carmilla’s grave and destroyed her. Regardless, there is narrative injustice in the way Laura is removed from these events, sent home and only told about what happened later. She loses agency. Her narrations become distant and clinical. In the very end, she describes being plagued by visions of Carmilla, sometimes as her beloved companion, and sometimes as a fearful monster. To me, this represents the lack of closure she has, either to reconcile these two sides of her, or mourn her loss.
There is also so much we’ll never know about Carmilla herself. The finality of her condemnation silences the multifaceted character that was only partially revealed to us. There is an inferred humanity to her, a self-awareness, a true romanticism, that gets dismissed by the people’s understanding of what a vampire is: a deception.
Keep in mind this tragedy. Fast forward through countless vampire portrayals to the present, to Himiko. What a contrast indeed. Remember, she does not want to be called “Carmilla,” or “Vampire.” To make such a reference in a chapter that is showcasing Ochako’s acceptance of Himiko implies that the trope is being broken. It is as if Laura were to go running to Carmilla’s grave herself, throw her own body over her in protection, and shun everyone else’s superstition and desire for vengeance.
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(footnote: the above is supposed to say “Himiko-chan” but you know who is a buttface)
Here’s the kicker: since female vampires are so closely tied to negative and predatory portrayals of lesbians, this humanization of Himiko also suggests that her queerness will likewise be treated openly and sympathetically, because there no longer exists an allegory that could be used for dismissing it. Ochako has already made monumental assertions in this chapter. By saying she admires her openness and envies her beautiful smile, and by presenting complete vulnerability in offering her blood, she swiftly separates herself from the lifetime of persecution Himiko has dealt with. It all represents so much more than those who mistakenly call it “yuri pandering” could hope to understand. This is the real deal. 
So what is this talk about romance they’re supposed to have? I firmly believe whatever Ochako says, it has to be a very surprising revelation, for both Himiko as well as us, the audience. Otherwise all the hype and mystery makes no sense. If Ochako has something so important to say, it can’t be to confirm Himiko’s assumptions. Whenever I try to dissect the exact possibilities, I get hopelessly tangled up in semantics, but ultimately I just hope to get Ochako’s perspective in full, especially as it relates to what other people think of her.
Actually, I had an idea while writing this. I saw someone on twitter (I think jokingly) bring up the All Might doll, like oh god, what if it comes up again. Ok but listen. There’s a LOT of potential symbolism in the token from Izuku that Ochako has kept being a doll of All Might specifically. We all know it calls to mind Izuku’s emulation of All Might, which resulted in the aspects of Izuku that Ochako herself admired. We can also easily infer that during the mission to rescue Izuku, Ochako saw the darker side of these traits. Okay, so here’s another wrinkle: All Might, as a near mythical figure, represents hero society. He’s the hero archetype, an upholder of the status quo, “peace,” and his weakening under all the pressure implies a flawed system.
Nighteye predicted All Might’s death, but also admitted that a strong enough collective will can change the course of his predictions. Ochako sites Nighteye’s own death as an origin for her beginning to question who exactly in this world needs saving. If you know my meta, you know that I believe All Might needs to die in symbol only. Right now, Ochako is throwing out an awful lot of things heroes take for granted. Things everyone takes for granted. The outcome of this fight could be a turning point in the war that completely changes the tone. If Ochako is to accomplish this by way of an intimate talk of romance, well…
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Bye-bye, All Might!
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camilaxmartin · 2 years
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you’re enough
i just needed to get it off my chest to be honest
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navigation // request // masterlist
summary: lesso reassures you after you got a bad grade
warnings: none; (not proof read)
notes: that’s my first fic (on here) written from the first person’s view phew~ it’s fluff but the start can count as a little bit of angst i guess??
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
i pushed the door to lesso’s office and came in not even waiting for her agreement. she was working behind her desk, probably grading some tests. her eyes immediately flowed to me at the moment i crossed the line of the room. my face was saying it all. i was frustrated and mad. horribly mad. i shot the door behind me earning a loud noise from them which made me even more nervous. i threw away the books i have been carrying with myself, them landing somewhere on the floor. i couldn’t care less about it now. her eyes were glued to me even though she was still grading the papers who were starting to form a high pile on her desk. i walk up to the two furnitures situated right before her desk. with a loud thud i threw myself at one of them. my hands immediately started caressing my face trying to calm me down a bit. her eyes were now back at the test she was continuously grading. after a while of rubbing my eyes and totally smuggling my make up i finally seated my hands on the armrests. lesso’s eyes suddenly flew right up catching mine in no time. i was feeling so ashamed and i’m sure she could sense it. her look filled with no emotions at all was just adding perfect atmosphere to this whole situation. i bit my down lip looking away from her. tears uncontrollably forming in my eyes. when i looked at her again her look was more soft. still emotionless but softer. almost like she’d be worried.
“can i finally ask what’s this all about?” she asked looking at her paper once again, fully breaking the eye contact.
i let out a long and loud breath. taking in another one, deeper one.
“i got a bad grade.” i whispered. “a really bad one.” i added so quietly she probably wasn’t able to catch it. probably.
“so you should’ve studied harder.” she explained not even bothering to look up at me. tears in my eyes started to form once again.
“i did. i really did.” i responded looking at the cabinets behind her, like i was seeing them for the very first time.
“clearly it wasn’t enough.” she said and i just suddenly lost it.
suddenly the tears forming in my eyes were now flowing down my face like huge drops of rain. the rest of my smudged makeup coming off along with them. i felt a single drop land on my left thigh sinking into the material of my tights right away. i didn’t even bother to wipe my face when i felt another wave of tears coming out of my eyes. the whimper i let out next was the thing that caught the full attention of the dean of evil. maybe i was often crying with her but it was rare for it to get that bad. in no second her eyes were at my face and the pen she was using to grade the papers was laying alone at the hard surface of her desk. she then pushed herself away a bit making room between herself and the desk, making it for me, without using words to state that. i clearly wasn’t thinking in that moment so i suppose it was just the memory of my muscles. i got up and came to her in no time. then she opened her arms for me to literally hide in them. no needing more in such a moment i just sat on her lap and immediately hugged into her, wrapping my hands around her neck, while hers gently wrapped around my back and her fingers started stroking it delicately. i felt another wave of water coming straight out of my eyes. having the wet path already on my cheeks the next drops had easier way to slip out of my face and wet the material of lesso’s suit. but she seemed like she didn’t care. maybe it really wasn’t bothering her. another sob came out of my mouth and the grip on my back tightened, bringing me closer to her body than i already was. it made me feel calmer. she then grabbed me even tighter and moved me even closer to her that i was almost sitting on her hips. one of her hands left my back and immediately went up to grab my cheek and gently stroke it, meaning that she wanted my attention. unsurely i pulled my head away from her and then my eyes again met hers. her look was soft now and overflowing with worry. when you want to know how lesso actually feels and what she really means, you need to pay attention to her eyes. they will tell you everything. i knew she wanted me to just explain what happened but right now i needed the most of reassurance. she still rubbed my cheek with one of her fingers making sure i knew she actually cared so much.
“tell me darling, what’s actually wrong?” she asked after a moment of silnce. i took another deep and unsteady breath.
“i studied for it. i literally spend a lot of my time studying. and you know how hardly it comes for me. how easily i loose focus or motivation. how much strength i need to just sit down and learn something. even something i actually enjoy. what a struggle that is for me. how hard it is for me to learn something that just doesn’t want to get into my head no matter how long and how hard i try to make it work. how demotivating it is to do your best and still not be enough. and be judged. by others and mostly by yourself. how incredibly unfair it is for me to get a bad grade when my friends who did nothing to learn and didn’t even try to learn got such a good grade for cheating and even not trying, not talking here about trying their bests. and how unfair of her it is to give us such hard exercises when she knows most of the class doesn’t even have a clue what’s happening and they just copy and paste from each other when we’re doing something on lesson.” i said and the tears weren’t stopping. “and how hard it is for me to see that grade knowing damn well i did everything, i did my best, i tried and tried and it still isn’t good enough, or not even good, just enough.” i wanted to continue my monologue but another whimper interrupted me. lesso immediately pulled me to herself clearly not wanting to listen to the signs of how bad i was feeling.
“oh darling.” she said, stroking my back again. “sometimes we just need to accept it. even if it’s unfair or not how we would want it to be” she was about to continue but i interrupted her.
“but it wasn’t enough!” another sob came out of my mouth along with those words.
“did you do your best?” she asked, grabbing my face and pulling me away from her a bit, also making me look into her eyes “did you really try?”
“i did.” i responded tears finally starting to slow down.
“then it was enough.” she stated harshly, desperately trying to make a point.
“but even you said otherwise!” i said louder than i wanted to.
“i know.” she said licking her lips. “but i haven’t seen the whole situation then and just assumed that it was something less important to you.” she explained her point of view while also swallowing hardly at the end. “you know i would never say something with intention to hurt you.” she added even thought in the past she hurt me with her words more than once. but she was learning, and that was the most important.
“will i ever be enough?” i asked looking straight into her eyes in which i could see only worry and love now.
“you are enough.” she said rubbing my cheek a bit harder. “no matter the grades you get; no matter what anyone says; you. are. enough.” she said and brought her other hand to capture my other cheek.
needing to finally let go i automatically came closer to her and she did the same. the tips of our noses were touching right now. she still looked very worried and clearly wanted to help even more but she just didn’t know how to. at least how to do it and also not loose the job for murdering someone. sensing that i unconsciously smiled to her. it wasn’t this big, bright smile i’m used to wearing everyday but it was a smile. a small one, but truthful. when lesso noticed it she automatically smiled herself. the most beautiful sight i could ever ask for. her smile also wasn’t the one she used when she was teasing me or when i did something that made her pretty satisfied with herself, no. it was the one, the proud one. the proud of me one.
couldn’t wait more i slightly moved my head so now our lips were touching each other. we still weren’t kissing, our lips were just next to themselves. lesso decided it was enough for her too. with one gentle move she started kissing me. the kiss wasn’t as rough as she would normally kiss me. it was more soft and more meaningful i think. her delicate lips slowly worked with mine making me feel butterflies in my stomach in actually no time. my hands situated on her neck slowly found their way to her red hair almost immediately wrapping themselves in it. lesso smiled to our kiss feeling my fingers. her arms came back to my back and didn’t move from there. not an inch up or down. something unlikely for lesso, but in that very moment it gave me another wave of care from her, knowing she was actually trying to show me how much she cared about me and not only wanted to turn it into something spicier.
i didn’t want to stop kissing her but my lungs, same as hers, were burning for some oxygen. i gently pulled away from her lips linking our noses once again. lesso opened her eyes slowly, breathing a bit heavier than before. my own breath was faster and definitely shorter.
“no matter what,” she started to whisper and it immediately got my attention “you are always going to be the most valuable thing in my life.” she said it so casually i didn’t know how to respond. instead i just kissed her, again.
lesso was quick to kiss back. her hands gripped my back slightly harder again, brining me closer to her, craving to feel me closer. i felt her lips leaving mine and i wanted to protest but stopped myself. then her lips moved from mine, to leave a path of many wet kisses almost all around my face. first, she kissed my cheek as many times as she could and then started to go up. she left one of them at the middle of my forehead. to be honest i think that kiss was the most affectionate one of them all. then, she came back down to my cheek, but the other one. again, she left there so many kisses and next she moved lower. i felt her soft lips gently touch my jawline leaving another wet spot there. lesso moved even lower going to my neck. her mouth left another thousand of kisses there making a darker spot from time to time. she then came back up, kissing all of my face again but skipping my lips. she pulled away slightly waiting for me to open my eyes and direct my attention to her.
“my precious thing.” she whispered staring at me with pure adoration in her eyes. a quite unique sight.
“all yours.” i responded and she smiled at my words. she moved her head up slightly and kissed my forehead once again. definitely showing me the affection she was giving.
and then she finally came back to my mouth, kissing me again. i kissed her back almost immediately with more intention into it.
lady lesso was quick to catch up with me mostly when she felt the back and forth movement of my hips. she then quickly put her hands on the both sides of them situating them in place and not letting me move them.
“i see what you’re doing love.” she laughed almost breathlessly. “but i don’t think it’s the best activity for now.” she said with a very serious tone but her smile was still present. “i just want to cover you up with kisses right now and maybe, we can think about something else later.” she added with her normal smirk crawling to her face. how could i say no to something like this?
she kissed me immediately not giving me time to answer such an obvious question. her hands came back to their previous place and mine pulled her hair even more earning another wicked grin from the dean. even while smirking and smiling lesso didn’t stop the kiss, not wanting anything to interrupt her while she was doing the best she could in showing me that she cares and doing my best is always enough.
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elen-tari2 · 3 months
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Finally got around to rewatching episode 4 of TPs2 and I just have to vent about my next complaint about how the writers handled the Frank and Amy relationship. (My first complaint being about the scene where Frank ties her to a motel bed and tapes her mouth shut while he takes a nap, but never once tells her he has absolutely no intention of SA’ing her)
Look, I know a lot of people dislike Amy because she’s such an over the top, angsty, tough teen trope, but I give her a pass on most of her plot-forced obnoxiousness. But I just can’t let Frank off the hook.
You’re telling me Frank Castle heard a kid crying from whatever horrible experience traumatized her and he just… turned up the volume on a hockey game?
SHAME. WRITER SHAME. SHAAAAAME.
Literally. What. The. F *CK?
This scene was done all wrong. Frank is an asshole but he protects innocent people from getting hurt. In that moment, the bratty teen is alone, dropping her tough girl act, and hurting. For all that she is a little shit, he has already —willing or unwillingly—decided to protect her, even if he doesn’t care that much about her. But the moment she’s breaking down, he would care enough to at least check on her.
He doesn’t even have to say much of anything. Amy has locked herself in Madani’s bedroom, so he can’t go in. But he would go sit with his back against the door and just be like, “hey, kid. You okay?”
The result could have been a much softer scene with Frank listening from outside the room and Amy talking to him from her hiding place until she feels safe enough to go unlock the door or maybe just try sleeping IN the bed instead of under it.
Instead what we got was a weirdly broken up scene where eventually I guess Amy is sleeping so Frank locks her in and goes to visit Curtis and it’s only upon his return that Amy realizes she was locked in at all and freaks out? So she is panicking and berating him to never do that again to her because it was also traumatizing to feel trapped like that. Not okay, Frank. So instead they finally talk about what happened to Amy but she’s still on the defensive, and Frank is pretty aggressive with his questioning about Fiona’s gang.
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Then we get the sharing of their truths broken up even more, as Frank goes to take a shower and Amy leaves and goes to a computer store to google Frank Castle’s name. (I guess that was a clever way to use the Internet but it feels totally random. Or like, go to a library or something??)
Then she comes back and is like oh wow they killed your whole family. We don’t even get shown Frank’s reaction to coming out of the shower and thinking the kid ran off. Did he care? Or was he just like ::shrug:: not my problem anymore I guess? Just risked my life for this kid but I was such a jerk, she didn’t want my help, oh well?
It just seemed unnecessary to make the conversation where she talks about what she survived and tells Frank her real name chopped up into different parts throughout the episode. There was a chance for her to be vulnerable and realize she was safe around Frank no matter what, and they missed it. She could still be a smart alec, just she would also know he wouldn’t be dismissive of the horrible murders she witnessed and how scary that would be for a young person.
Think about how supportive Frank was to the small town police force in episode 3? He is respectful, encouraging, and knows they’re in over their heads but it’s not their fault. It’s not Amy’s fault she got in over her head and she needed some f*cking comfort and reassurance, when she was CRYING. I’m not saying he’d have hugged her or told her everything would be ok. But he would be a good listener and know she didn’t deserve to go through it.
Honestly having a tiny moment like that and THEN getting into stuff like her pulling card tricks on Frank would have been much better. They’d be back to their banter, but be starting to build towards that found family feeling, like we see over the rest of the show.
Ug, this is making me want to write a fan fic fixit for that episode. But I’m just putting this out there for future Punisher writers— Get. It. Right. Next. Time.
Clear your female characters treatment with female viewers. I’m serious. You have the potential to be writing GREAT stories, but missteps like this where Frank is uncaring in the face of an innocent (if annoying) child’s suffering is a no. Just no.
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jo-harrington · 11 months
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This is a weird Store Manager Verse thing that will never make it into the larger story.
Store Manager Verse started with me revisiting my journey as a retail store manager but then evolved into something about…sharing food memories and experiences with someone new through Eddie and SM’s not-dates. Again, some based on personal experiences.
TW: Food/Eating, and maybe some personal growing up italian american experiences but…I’m in my feelings tonight so I need the overarching theme of showing affection through food. (Im crying into my dinner, please leave me alone).
Tonight for dinner I’m eating Chef Boyardee. Obviously the thought in this fandom immediately goes to Eddie.
I have had Chef Boyardee a grand total of once in my life before tonight. I was five years old. It was a jarring contrast versus my nonna’s homemade ravioli, and even more jarring still because she had just passed away. It was an emotional experience, and I vowed never to eat it again.
So let’s imagine now…you’re the Claire’s Store Manager now. Far away from home and living on your own. No family to cook with you, you just have your little handwritten recipe book that went from your grandma to your grandpa to you. All the family recipes, even those you haven’t memorized yet.
And here’s Eddie, who is helping you embrace your newfound independence and identity, one convenience store snack at a time. He’s enjoying seeing the brightness in your eyes and the joy. And one Sunday, after you promised to make pasta for him…you have the worst and the longest day. It was a horrible Sunday, everything that could go wrong did, including several consecutive piercings with screaming babies.
“Don’t worry Sweetheart,” Eddie soothes after hours as he’s giving you a much-needed hug. “It’s just a bad day.” He’s had his share of them now, and you reassured him after all of them.
“I just…can’t make dinner tonight,” you tell him. “I know you were looking forward to it.”
Carbonara sauce and heaps of parm. You were looking forward to it too.
“How about I take care of dinner tonight. Don’t worry. Lemme make a stop and I’ll meet you at your place.”
And he does.
He arrives at your apartment laden with bags from Bradley’s Big Buy. You expected some kind of greasy bag from a drive thru, so it’s a surprise when he sits you down on your couch with a glass of lemonade and takes full ownership of the kitchen.
You hear the pots banging, the oven going, dishes clacking.
And it smells pretty good. You’re intrigued. You knew Eddie’s cooking repertoire by now and while he certainly aced Home Ec, this didn’t seem like his wheelhouse. Color you impressed.
“Alright, close your eyes, no peeking,” he tells you. Throws a dish towel at your face to really make sure you don’t look. And he bustles out of the kitchen, juggling plates and a tray and a handful of cutlery.
Then he tells you it’s safe to look and it’s…
Easy Cheese on Crackers, and a Sara Lee All Butter Pound Cake that he’d warmed in the oven, and two bowls of Spaghetti-O’s.
You can’t help but laugh. A silly little giggle. Your heart…so full.
“Eddie this is…”
“I did good didn’t I? We haven’t had any of this.”
He’s beaming.
How can you tell him…that you hate Chef Boyardee?
You tried it once. Begged for it at the store. But it was the antithesis of your upbringing. Of your grandma in the basement kitchen making homemade sausage once a week or grandpa who came home from the home from his factory job and opened can after can of tomatoes to make a big pot of sauce for the whole family.
He let you take a heel of a loaf of bread to dunk as it bubbled on the stove. A secret to be kept between the two of you. None of your cousins ever got the honor.
How could canned pasta ever hold a candle to that?
Still you fawn over the dinner, over Eddie’s efforts. You fully savor the tacky, savory easy cheez on ritz and even pretend you’re being a little naughty by indulging in dessert first with the pound cake.
You just can’t hide your lackluster reaction when it’s time to put the pasta…if you can call it that…into your body.
“This is a treat,” Eddie explains enthusiastically. “Mom didn't really like the Beef Ravioli but Spaghetti-os were her favorite. And then when she was gone, Rick always had a few cans in the cupboard to surprise me for an after school snack. Shit I’m pretty sure he still does.”
He scarfs down the delicacy and your stomach turns further when you realize…
You cant disappoint him like this.
So you load up the spoon and you cringe a little as you raise it to your mouth. And you think about…Eddie being more important than your stupid snobbish childhood.
He stares at you as you take that first bite.
And it’s…perfect.
You’re not at the stove with your grandpa. You’re not with your family. You’re with Eddie. A different experience but nonetheless important and special.
You can see him sitting at the table after school, doodling on his homework sheets instead of doing math as he shoveled spoonfuls of the too-sweet sauce and noodles onto his mouth. You can see Rick mixing a pitcher of Country Time lemonade for Eddie’s mom so she could kick her feet up and listen to records with an ice cold glass after her shift. You can see them all enjoying pound cake on a special occasion; maybe Eddie getting an A on a test or his mom’s birthday or something.
It’s his life, his history that he shares with you willingly. Just like you share yours so openly with him.
“Well?” He asks. “Verdict?”
And what else could you say? But how you feel? About the spaghetti-os. About the little ritual the two of you had started. About…about Eddie himself, even though you couldn’t admit it outright just yet.
“I love it.”
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depressedhouseplant · 6 months
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🔞 In Darkness I Found You 🔞
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Synopsis: In which alpha Hobi finds a severely injured omega in his front yard during a storm and discovers the horrible path that lead him to Hobi in the first place
Tags: Mentions of rape, forced pregnancy, & restraints
Hobi picked up his head from what he was doing on the computer when the flood light went on in the front yard. It was pouring rain outside & the only thing that could possibly set it off was something large moving. 
“Tae did you leave one of the dogs out?” he yelled down the stairs to his younger brother. 
“No, they’re right here!” Tae yelled back. Hobi closed his laptop and went downstairs. 
“Didn’t you see the light go off?” he asked. 
“It’s probably just a deer or something,” Tae replied clearly unwilling to go outside and check. They lived on a horse farm out in the country with their nearest neighbors 6 miles away. 
“Fine, I’ll check,” Hobi pulled on his boots and rain jacket. The downside of having 2 Alphas living in the same house was little tasks like checking for possible intruders were deadlocked longer than they should’ve been. The light had gone out by the time Hobi got out there. It was raining so hard that he could barely see in front of him. The light went back on and he smelled it before he saw it. 
There was a person collapsed in the grass, specifically an Omega in severe distress. The smell almost knocked him over. He jogged over and scooped up the young male. He was still alive, but even in the darkness of the storm, Hobi could tell he was in bad shape. 
“Tae, open the door!” he yelled. The irritated look on his brother’s face disappeared when he saw the Omega in Hobi’s arms. 
“Put him in the bathroom,” Tae said and went to get his bag. He was a nurse and Hobi was a vet, so this Omega had lost his energy in the best yard for miles. Hobi lied him down on the bath mat and finally got a good look at him. He was muddy from where he’d fallen. His clothes were old and worn out. He was thin, but the type of thin where he’d been fed one step above what he needed to survive. Hobi thought he saw blood in between his legs. He may have just given birth. But an Omega wouldn’t leave his newborn pup behind. Would he? Hobi didn’t know much about Omegas other than the ones Tae told him about from the hospital. Neither he nor Tae had considered taking mates. They were content with their jobs, animals, and sniping at each other like siblings do, especially 2 Alpha siblings. The Omega looked up at Hobi. He was clearly confused and exhausted. 
“It’s okay. We’re going to help you,” Hobi reassured him. “My name is Hobi.”
He tried to speak, but nothing came out.  
“That’s okay, I’ll learn your name soon enough,” Hobi smiled at him. He had no idea why he was smiling at him. Maybe because it reassured him, too. He’d spent years working with skittish horses and it was serving him well now. 
“Okay, let's get a look at you,” Tae said. As he went to check the Omega’s breathing with his stethoscope, the Omega suddenly got wild eyed and started whining. He tried to get away, but was too weak to do more than a half roll. Hobi looped his arm under the Omega’s arms & pulled him up into sitting position. He sat behind him bolstering the Omega’s back against his chest. 
“He’s not going to hurt you. This is my brother Tae. He’s going to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself when you fell. Nod if you understand me,” Hobi said. The Omega nodded against Hobi’s chest. 
“We’re gonna have to clean him up, too,” Tae said. “Though I think I know what’s going on here.”
“What?” Hobi asked. Tae looked at the Omega. 
“Have you been pregnant before?” he asked.
The Omega nodded. 
“More than 3 times since you presented?” Tae continued.
The Omega nodded again. 
“He’s a Breeder,” Tae sighed. 
“Isn’t that illegal?” Hobi asked.
“Very,” Tae confirmed.
“I know you won’t like this, but once we get you cleaned up I’m going to have to examine you. Since you were bleeding I want to make sure you won’t get an infection. Okay?” Tae said to the Omega. He nodded. 
“I’ll help get you washed up,” Hobi said. The Omega started to shake a little and smell like fear. “I’m not going to do that to you. I’m just going to clean you up so Tae can make sure you’re okay.” The Omega stopped shaking, but the scent of fear stayed. 
“I’ll be outside,” Tae said. Hobi started to fill the tub. He consistently soothed him like he did with the horses while he helped him get undressed and in the tub. As the mud washed off, Hobi noticed scars on his wrists and ankles from being tied up. If he really was a Breeder, that wasn’t a surprise. Omegas with desirable traits, such as a certain eye color or body type, were allegedly paid to mate with Alphas and produce equally desirable pups. The reality of the situation was they were kept as hostages and almost constantly pregnant. The practice had been outlawed decades ago. The fact that this Omega was showing obvious signs of being a Breeder meant one of their neighbors was engaging in one hell of a sketchy stream of income. 
“I’m going to go get Tae now. Will you be okay in here for a minute by yourself?” Hobi asked as he drained the tub and helped the Omega out into a towel. He nodded. Hobi helped him towel off, careful to avoid his crotch and any indication he might be interested in knotting him, then sat him back on the floor against the wall. “I’ll get some clean clothes for you, too. They’ll smell like Alpha, but they’ll at least be dry.” The look in the Omega’s eyes was grateful. The smell of fear had dissipated. This was probably the first time he’d been treated with any kindness in a long time. 
Hobi got Tae and the Omega started to look suspicious again. Two Alphas in the room was obviously one too many for him. 
“I’ll be as quick as I can. I just need to make sure nothing is going to get infected,” Tae told him. The Omega looked at Hobi. 
“Do you want me to help you sit again?” Hobi asked. The omega nodded. 
“Okay. He’s going to have to examine why you had blood on your pants. He isn’t going to knot you. He just needs to check,” Hobi sat behind the Omega again as he reluctantly spread his legs. Tae put on gloves and the Omega started to whine and shake. He’d definitely been a Breeder and only had negative experiences with medical professionals. They always took his pups away. 
“Breathe. I promise he won’t hurt you,” Hobi scratched the Omega’s head. He was grooming an Omega he’d found half dead in his front yard 2 hours ago. What the hell was going on with him? 
“There’s still a pup in there. It’s not very big, but it’s there. I think he miscarried one, but not the other,” Tae said after he finished palpating the Omega’s abdomen. The Omega looked at him in surprise. 
“How far do you think?” Hobi asked. 
“Three months, maybe? I doubt he’ll show anytime soon with one this small,” Tae said. “There’s still a risk he’ll lose this one, too. We can’t let him move around too much and we definitely need to get him fed properly soon.”
“Let’s get you dressed and get you in bed. Okay?” Hobi said. The Omega nodded still watching Tae closely. 
“I’ll get him some water and soup or something,” Tae said. 
“I’ll put him in the guest room. That should smell slightly less like Alpha,” Hobi said. Once he got the Omega dressed in a pair of his old sweatpants and tee shirt, he picked him up again and carried him to the guest bedroom. They rarely used it because they rarely had guests. 
“Here we go. Nice and cozy,” Hobi said. 
“Yoongi,” the Omega finally found his voice. “I’m Yoongi.”
“Nice to meet you, Yoongi,” Hobi smiled at him. Yoongi put Hobi’s hand on his belly. 
“This is pup number 10,” he said.
“Hi pup number 10,” Hobi said. His gut jerked at the realization that Yoongi had birthed or lost 9 pups since he presented. This would be the first pup he was allowed to keep.
“How old are you?” Hobi asked. 
“I think I’m 25,” Yoongi replied.
“You think?” Hobi was confused.
“What year is it?” Yoongi asked. 
“2019,” Hobi replied. 
“Then I’m 25,” he replied. If he’d been held captive then he’d have no clue how much time had passed other than roughly how long he’d been pregnant. 
“I have water and chicken noodle soup,” Tae said, coming into the room with a tray. “I also found some vitamins. They aren’t prenatal, but they’ll do until I can get some.”
Yoongi let out a whine. 
“I know you’re scared, but he’s not gonna take your pup or hurt you. Right Tae?” Hobi looked at his brother.
“Nope,” Tae said as he put down the tray on the nightstand. “I’m going to make sure you and the pup are nice and healthy. So you can keep a healthy, happy pup.”
“You won’t take my pup?” Yoongi put his hand over his belly. 
“No, I won’t take your pup,” Tae reassured him. “This one is yours.”
Yoongi looked at Hobi. 
“The pup is yours.  We won’t take it from you,” he said. 
“Then why are you being nice to me?” Yoongi questioned.
“Because you’re a person who deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. You’re not a pup factory,” Hobi replied. Tae nodded in agreement. Yoongi didn’t look convinced. “Let’s at least get some dinner in you. You both need to eat.”
“Yell if you need me,” Tae said and left. Hobi handed him the water and he drank it in almost one gulp. 
“Looks like you need a refill.” Hobi smiled.
“Guess I was thirstier than I thought,” Yoongi said. By the time he finished the soup, took the vitamin, and finished 2 more glasses of water, it was almost midnight. 
“Think you can sleep?” Hobi asked. 
“I am tired,” Yoongi said. 
“My room is right next door if you need anything, though Tae probably won’t want you getting up,” Hobi said. 
“You can stay,” Yoongi said. 
“You’re not afraid of me?” Hobi asked.
“You smell...safe,” Yoongi said, choosing the words carefully.
“Then I guess I’ll change and be right back,” Hobi said. As he changed into his pajamas, he thought about what Yoongi had said. Did Yoongi only feel that way because Hobi picked him up in the pouring rain from the mud? Was he only uneasy around Tae because Tae reminded him of the doctors who took his pups away? Or was it something else? Hobi had unconsciously started grooming him to keep him calm while Tae was examining him. He wasn’t his mate. He barely knew him. He’d put Hobi’s hand on his belly, his most vulnerable place. He seemed to trust Hobi. They needed him to trust at least one of them if they were going to get him and the pup healthy. It wasn’t more than that. It couldn’t be.
Yoongi had dozed off sitting up when Hobi came back into the bedroom. Hobi tried to get in bed without disturbing him and failed. Yoongi jerked awake. 
“It’s okay, it’s just me,” Hobi said. 
“Okay,” Yoongi tried to slow his breathing. 
“Down we go,” Hobi helped him to lying down. Hobi lied down facing him. Yoongi watched him intently. 
“What?” Hobi asked. 
“I can’t remember the last time I slept in a real bed,” he said. 
“Where did you sleep?” Hobi wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.
“Roll away hospital beds. It was easier when it was time for us to give birth,” Yoongi swallowed hard. 
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Hobi said. 
“Yes, I do,” Yoongi whispered. “The Alphas liked me because I was one of the prettiest males. The ones who didn’t want to be with a female almost always picked me. I fought, though. That’s why they had to strap me down. I wouldn’t hold still long enough for the Alphas to knot me. Then I got a reputation for being a fighter. That’s when it got really bad.”
“Being strapped down and raped wasn’t bad enough?” Hobi tried to keep himself calm. He didn’t want to upset Yoongi any more than he already was and by extension the pup. 
“Once I was labeled a fighter, they’d put me in a pen first to let the Alpha catch me before I was knotted. I bit a lot of Alphas. Ones who wanted pups that were aggressive would play that game. What they didn’t understand is I learned to fight. I’m not an aggressive Omega,” Yoongi’s voice started shaking. Hobi could smell the fear and anxiety. 
“That’s over now. We’re going to find out who’s doing it and where they are and stop them. You and this pup are safe. Anyone who comes in this house without our permission will have to get through us & the dogs,” Hobi told him. 
“Dogs?” Yoongi repeated.
“Two spoiled rotten pit bulls named Daisy and Violet,” Hobi told him. “They’re the biggest babies on the planet until they come across someone threatening their daddies.”
“What about me?” Yoongi asked. 
“You won’t be able to get Daisy out of your lap. She won’t be happy when we shoo her off until Tae has cleared you for lap time,” Hobi replied. “She pouts.” Yoongi smiled a little. 
“I don’t mean to be afraid of him,” Yoongi started. 
“But nurses aren’t your favorite people?” Hobi finished. 
“No,” he said. 
“He can be a jackass, but I’m biased. He’s my little brother,” Hobi grinned. 
“Sure,” Yoongi said. 
“Time to turn out the light?” Hobi asked. 
“Sounds good,” Yoongi said. 
“It’s okay. I’m right here,” Hobi told him as he leaned over and turned off the light. Then he felt Yoongi nosing around his neck scenting him. “Does that make you feel better?”
“Yes,” he whispered. 
“Then rub around all you want,” Hobi hoped he could keep his knot at bay. Now that Yoongi wasn’t reeking of anxiety and fear, he smelled...perfect. Hobi wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but it was what came to mind. He was on bed rest for the pup and the most exertion he needed was to go to the bathroom and get back in bed. Maybe once the pup was out of the woods…
“You like me too, huh?” Yoongi said. Hobi looked down. Shit. 
“It’s not like that. I don’t want to, I mean I do, but we just met and the pup and everything,” Hobi stumbled over his words .
“I understand. The pup comes first,” he said. 
“Absolutely,” Hobi agreed. 
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Yoongi asked. 
“Is this a trick question?” Hobi asked. 
“No, but I didn’t expect to be rescued by an Alpha in the pouring rain after I escaped a Breeder Farm and was sure I was going to die in the mud. Every time one of those Alphas knotted me and hoped they’d get me pregnant so they could have their perfect pup, I’d pray that there was at least one Alpha in the world who didn’t want me, as you so aptly put it, as only a pup factory. It’s what kept me alive. One day I’d get out and one day I’d find that Alpha. I knew when I smelled you that you were different. You didn’t want me to die. I didn’t even realize I lost that pup until Tae said something. You would think I knew better after giving birth 5 times, but all I could think about was getting out. It was only after I fell down that I realized how bad it was. I dunno, maybe it’s only because I was dying that I thought the Alpha I’d dreamed about for years had finally found me,” Yoongi replied. 
“I started grooming you when Tae was examining you because it seemed to keep you calm. I don’t think I’ve ever groomed anything other than a horse or a dog,” Hobi replied. “That has to mean something, right?”
“Have you been looking for a mate?” Yoongi asked.
“No,” Hobi answered.
“Then it means something,” Yoongi said. He gently kissed Hobi. “Thank you for saving our lives, Hobi.”
“You’re welcome,” Hobi replied. “And so are you, pup number 10.” Yoongi put Hobi’s hand on his belly again. 
“Pup says thank you, too,” he said.
“Good night, Yoongi,”
“Good night, Hobi,”
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cherryredillusions · 1 year
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Omegle and chill-Rigby x fem!reader
OMG I LOVE RIGBY AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
You and Rigby were sitting next to each other in front of the computer on Omegle. Yes, Omegle, ready to cause some chaos. The light was illuminating your face in the dark room, and Rigby thought you looked so pretty. He wouldn’t ever tell you that, though. You thought he looked nice in the light too. You had liked Rigby for god knows how long, but never had the courage to tell him. Little did you know, he did too. 
“The frame is horrible on the laptop, sit closer.” You commented, and you both scooted next to each other.
Rigby thought this was the perfect time to shoot his shot. Well, somewhat. 
“Just sit on my lap, it’ll be more comfortable.” He said, looking over at you. 
Rigby was taller than you, and he was short. You knew it would be perfect, because your head would only reach his neck when you were sitting in his lap. You watched as he patted his lap, gesturing for you to sit. You moved to sit on his lap, and he rested his chin on top of your head. You clicked Video Chat on the website, then it started. 
The first guy asked to see your boobs, to which you laughed and said yes. Of course, you weren’t actually going to and were just going to fake him out. You heard Rigby grumble and his once out of view arm came up over your chest, bringing you closer to his. He suddenly began speaking and his head dipped down into view on your shoulder. 
“No, you can’t see them.” He said, then skipped the man. 
He was either jealous, or just being protective of you. You reassured him that you weren’t actually going to do that. After a few more skips and men using horrible pick up lines, you finally came across the worst one. A man asked you to get naked for him, to which you replied no. He started yelling at you to do it, and Rigby finally came into view. 
“Who’s that man behind you?” The stranger angrily asked. 
“Her boyfriend.” Rigby snapped. 
You stopped. He had just said that he was your boyfriend. You didn’t have a problem with that, but why had he said that? He wasn’t, even though you so desperately wanted him to be. The stranger asked you two to have sex in front of him, kept asking you to get naked and other things, so you skipped. You turned to Rigby.
“Y-You said you were my boyfriend.” You stuttered, looking into his deep, brown eyes. You saw something else in them. Lust, maybe?
“I know,” He uttered, “It was the best answer to that creep.” 
Creep. Yeah, just the best answer. But you wanted him to be able to say that to anyone, and for it to be true. His arms were wrapped around your torso and waiting for you to move on to the next person, but you hesitated. You started thinking about Rigby. The only thing going through your mind at that moment was the male whose lap you were sitting on. You turned around to look at him. 
“And what if I wanted you to actually be my boyfriend?” You admitted. 
His face flushed a deep pink. He thought about if you really meant it. No one other than Eileen wanted to be his, and he hated her. But he didn’t hate you. He wanted to be able to call you his, but never did anything about it up until now. He didn’t know what to say. 
“Is it okay if I do something? It won’t hurt or be weird or something.” Rigby said, looking down at you. 
You nodded, and then he pressed his lips to yours softly. You were in shock. Had he really just kissed you? Why did he kiss you? You were beginning to think he liked you back. He did. You carded your hands through his hair, and he pulled back. You breathed heavily, blushing profusely. 
“So, I’m assuming you meant you like me?” Rigby whispered in your ear. 
“Yeah, I did.” You stammered, your fingers playing with his locks.
“Good, because I like you too.” He admitted. 
He kissed you again, this time licking your bottom lip for entry. You quickly opened your mouth and he took dominance. He pushed you down under him and pinned your arms above your head. Omegle was still on, but no one had come on the screen yet. Suddenly, you heard a voice from the stairs. 
“Get a room!” Mordecai laughed, hands on his knees from laughing so hard. 
“We can finish later-” You tried, but were quickly interrupted. 
“STOP TALKING!”
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louis-ii-reyes-strand · 11 months
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thank you @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @thisbuildinghasfeelings @birdclowns @lemonlyman-dotcom@tarlosmalec @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses for the tags. I wouldn't have written anything today (again) without you 🖤🖤🖤 I plan to dive into your snippets very soon!!
Carlos pulled TK to a stop just before the steps leading up to the front porch. He’d never noticed how rickety they looked before, made a mental note to offer to fix them up when he had a free weekend. “Before we go in. If meeting everyone all at once is too much, we can leave right now.”
TK frowned. “It’s your birthday, babe. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He tried to move but Carlos’ increasingly tight grip on his hand stopped him again. He considered Carlos for a moment, then realisation dawned on his face and he stepped into Carlos’ space. 
As he used his free hand to cup Carlos’ cheek, TK said, “Are you okay with doing it like this?” 
“Yeah.” TK gave him a look that told him he wasn’t as convincing as he had been trying to be. “Yeah. It’s just… a lot.”
“That’s–” 
“I want you to meet them, I want them to meet you and for them to know you’re the most important person in my life and that I love you.” Carlos pulled TK even closer so he could drop his forehead to TK’s and closed his eyes. He’d found over the past few weeks that it was easier to talk about his feelings when he couldn’t see how anyone else reacted to them. “But I don’t know that they’re not going to be horrible.”
“They’re all here,” TK reminded him gently.
Carlos shook his head, screwing his eyes shut. “I don’t know if they all know I’m bringing you.” 
The longer TK was silent, the more Carlos wanted to be sick. 
“We can leave right now. You don’t have to do this for me, Carlos. Not if you don’t want to.”
“I do want to," he said. Then on an exhale, "And that’s what makes it so hard.” 
TK took a step back from him. Carlos’ body sagged for a moment. 
“Look at me,” TK said softly. He waited until Carlos opened his eyes, then shifted slightly so he could catch Carlos’ gaze from where he had trained it on something over TK’s shoulder. “How many steps do you think it is to the door?” 
“What?” The absurdity of the question shocked a half-laugh out of him. 
“How many steps do you think it takes to get to the door?” 
Carlos tilted his head. There were three steps up to the porch and he had long legs. “Five, maybe?” 
“So we’ll start with five steps.” TK dropped his hand and took the five steps towards the door. He had to shuffle a little bit closer to be within knocking reach. Then he looked back to Carlos, holding his hands out in show, as if to say look how easy it is.
Seeing TK, brave TK, standing alone on the front porch of the Reyes family ranch house, it struck Carlos how incredible he was. He should’ve been more nervous than Carlos, he should be the one needing reassurance that Carlos’ family was going to love him, but he put it all aside because Carlos was struggling. 
It was so simple. 
Carlos bounded forward, only needing three steps to reach TK as his momentum carried him further.
“I love you so much. You’re incredible,” He said breathlessly, then didn’t give TK time to respond as he pulled him into a tender kiss. 
“Let’s go in,” he whispered as he broke away, smiling at the dazed look on TK’s face. 
TK nodded. Then shook his head. Then nodded again. “Let’s do it.” 
Carlos pushed the door open but was held back by TK not moving. 
“Should you not knock?” 
Carlos grimaced. “Tía Lucy would wring my neck. I don’t think my extended family ever knocked on our door when I was growing up.” 
TK seemed horrified by the thought.
open tag for anyone else wanting to do this because i've been offline all day and missed everything!!
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djsherriff-responses · 7 months
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Hi, im really curious? Do you have any Dolph headcanons/ideas/analysis etc? :0 I’m really bad about keeping a consistent idea of a character in my mind, so I’m curious!
First off for tips on keeping a character consistent, I’d recommend rewatching/rereading the source material or at least bits off it.
I personally have a combination of “throwing crap at a wall till it sticks” and “imagine my own stories as tv episodes and replay it over and over again”, while that’s more how I generally write my own characters than specifically fan works, doing that and rewatching clips I find helpful. I also recommend reading up on analysis on the character by other people in the fandom. While some you may strongly disagree with, it’s worthwhile to have different perspectives
Anyways headcanons on Dolph
I used to headcanon Dolph having issues being possessive but after what the manga reveals, I no longer feel that’s in character for Dolph as it goes against what we learn about him
However I do HC that Alex made Dolph believe he was possessive , playing on Dolph’s need for affection and protective nature, and Dolph now struggles with the idea that wanting any affection and reassurance from someone is him being “too much”
Dolph is terrified of getting close to someone and hurting them (this is a combination of Alex self projecting onto Dolph at times and Dolph in the process of the fact he killed Alex and the grief that comes with that)
However I do still think Dolph is a bit of a freak in the bedroom , but now there’s the added fact that whatever he’s into is a by product of some sort of horrible trauma having a weird effect on his brain chemistry and it causing a lot of uncomfortable feelings being discussed
Going off that last point, I think Dolph would be into the idea of getting pregnant/having kids in some way, for the wrong reasons. That sounds out of character unless I explained this one so: I think Dolph has an unhealthy view of himself in that he feels like he has to be “useful” to someone in order for his life to have meaning. Obviously throughout most of his life he was a weapon and then later a boytoy to be discarded. Despite the betrayal , Dolph wanted to die once he got his revenge against Alex, showing that Dolph didn’t see any reason to stay alive if he had no one to be alive for. There’s also the fact he desperately longs for family , particularly parental/mentor figures, so it wouldn’t really shock me if Dolph “I’m gonna settle down at the age of 23 with a man twice my age” Laserhawk had fantasies of starting his own family with Alex ( just imagine that one suicide squad scene were Harley imagines her and the joker as a Suburban family) which goes further into the idea he only values himself if he has value to someone else
……… though realistically Dolph would actually be incredibly freaked out if he did end up having a kid with Alex , despite said fantasies (the difference between fantasy and reality and all that jazz)
I think he should get into gardening. I think it’d be a nice contrast to the intense tech he grew up with and be symbolic of him learning to be independent and free
Dolph does a surprisingly amount of stupid shit , he literally gave himself salmonella on several different occasions just because he wanted to eat cake/cookie mix and didn’t have the patience to bake it
Dolph is competitive with games to the point he’d break a leg just to win bingo
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