#them I want to try to diagnose a fictional character that I play. I mean I guess I’m curious anyways? good to know about all this stuff even

[poppyseed799]

My favorite pastime: roleplaying characters and just making them soso weird and then pulling up the DSM-5 to try to diagnose them

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

DROP YOUR DX FOR VOX !!!!! Please and thank you.

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

(I've already posted some stuff here so I'm not going to repeat myself.)

Okay, so, Vox has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It's crucial to distinguish this from "common narcissism" (people often described as "narcissists" by others just because they are egotist assholes; kinda ableist, you shouldn't do it because it's extremely stigmatizing towards people suffering with actual NPD) . While those individuals typically function well, those with NPD exhibit all the traits – grandiosity, egocentrism, attention-seeking, intense power fantasies – but as it's a disorder, these traits lead to inflexible and maladaptive patterns of behavior and cognition.

NPD has its roots in intense feelings of shame, low self-compassion, and self-loathing. In my interpretation, Vox has always felt inadequate. His father inherited an enormous amount of money, establishing a media conglomerate in the 20's. Vox's mother, captivated by the world of movies, used them to escape her reality as a trophy wife. Despite her dreams of becoming an actress, Vox's father, possessive and protective, prevented her entry into the entertainment industry. As a compromise, he made their son a child actor, with the condition that it would be temporary. When Vox grew older, he was expected to transition to learning business and other skills, ultimately to take over the family's empire.

So, Vox was never enough for either of his parents. His father thought of him as annoying and unserious due to his talkativeness and exaggerated behaviors, attributing it to growing up surrounded by actors. As for his mother... Vox turned out to be a terrible actor, struggling to convey emotions that weren't bombastic and over-the-top. Being a teenager is humiliating enough, but imagine being a teenager bad at something and forced to do it for a worldwide audience, when the whole production crew is annoyed with you. Fortunately, he grew up to be devilishly handsome (not to be a simp, I just believe someone must be handsome to endure the ethereal punishment of having their face swapped for a TV screen) and entertaining, leading them to make him a TV host and media personality.

Anyway, NPD is all about creating a perfect self and projecting it to the world when you're deeply ashamed of your true self. It means that, no matter what you're doing, you're constantly concerned about how it looks to other people. You constantly play an exhausting game, trying to win gold stars of social admiration for every-fucking-thing, guided by superficial ideals of wealth, perfection, beauty, and, above all, power. One reason Alastor's existence bothers Vox so much is the fact that he cannot comprehend the idea of someone choosing radio over his "objectively better and correct" medium. Vox lacks the ability to understand nuanced sentiments, which ironically makes him thrive in Hell. In this anarchocapitalist, lawless society, survival of the fittest prevails, and this is a game he excels at playing.

Generally, the best approach for individuals with NPD is to pull them out of delusional thinking by confronting their beliefs about the world and themselves with reality (it should be performed by qualified therapist, especially when someone hasn't completed any kind of therapeutic process yet). However, in Hell, Vox's behavior was no longer in violation of social norms; on the contrary, it was highly rewarded. Consequently, he completely lost his shit, became unhinged, and began acting on all his previously suppressed urges. He finally fulfilled all narcissistic power fantasies and became (almost) untouchable. Now, he's ready to kill anyone who questions him, seeing it as threatening to his fragile image of the perfect self.

He exhibits strong bipolar tendencies. Most of the time, he's power-tripping in a semi-maniacal state. Periodically, he undergoes deep, depressive episodes, locking himself up in his apartment and avoiding interaction.

Constantly guarding this fragile image of the perfect self that he built is exhausting. The bigger this image gets, the more fragile it becomes, like a house of cards. And guarding it becomes more and more exhausting. But there's nothing scarier than the idea of the facade falling apart and people seeing him as he is: imperfect and vulnerable, damaged and ashamed, rotten and evil. Deep down, he knows he's unlovable, and it hurts. He knows that true love exists; he craves this ultimate form of admiration and devotion, but it requires vulnerability and honesty, which he's not capable of. He's only vulnerable with Valentino, and only occasionally when he's intoxicated or when Val fucks every last thought out of his body. He's very much a controlling top insecure about his masculinity, so the latter happens rarely.

Also, drugs. Oh, do this man enjoy some coke. Other drugs and booze, not so much; they make him feel less in control. But getting coked up, going out, causing a scene, killing some poor souls, and relishing this feeling of being completely untouchable? Feels so good.

When it comes to Alastor, he hates him because he's jealous. Despite all his efforts—building a perfect persona, a perfect company, perfect entertainment—this stinky, outdated, and boring radio demon gets so much attention and admiration that should be his. Moreover, he feels that Alastor can see right through his bullshit. He's so paranoid about it that he's almost certain Alastor knows about his childhood traumas, about his death, about all his truths, and could one day broadcast it for all people of Hell to hear. So, he needs him dead.

Note: these headcanons (especially Vox's past) are very important part of my fanfiction. Please feel free to use them in your fics but I'll appreciate if you tag me 🩷

Velvette hc | Valentino hc | Vees + Angel hc | VoxVal hc

[transmutationisms]

I feel like this is likely a bat to a hornet's nest topic but I deeply respect your takes and thoughts overall a lot so here goes: I really appreciate that the show frankly goes out of its way to not pathologize its characters and lets the audience sit with them in the context of their own lives. So I'm kind of baffled that so much focus is given to "diagnosing" them in fan discussions, the vast brunt of which Kendall gets. I don't understand how you can watch this show and understand him as someone who's been heavily abused and had his reactions to being abused weaponized against him and come away being like "wow it's so cringe he acts like that, he must have a brain disease and is just too stupid to understand that. every action he takes is because he is manic/depressed/letting the disease manifest. if only he took the good moral Legal drugs that I do instead of the ontologically bad ones that are Illegal and for dirty addicts. hopefully one day he will Get Help and Receive Treatment so he will be more palatable (no whatever he's done up to this point doesn't count because it didn't work which must inherently be due to his own moral failings)." How did a show like this attract so many Reganites??

bat at a hornets' nest yes. yeah i've said before that i dislike diagnosing fictional characters as a general rule. it's tautological ("they do [x] because they have [y], and they have [y] because they do [x]") and abrogates further analysis of their motives or the meanings of their actions. and it's doubly irksome to me with succession, because unlike a lot of tv, i genuinely don't think that it's written within the weltanschauung of dsm neurobio determinism. ie, it's not a show where the answer to "why did he do that?" is ever supposed to be "his brain is just like that"—these actions are supposed to mean something about what the character wants and needs, and the effect of the capitalist milieu on those things. it's psychological, not psychiatric (& of course, psychoanalytic approaches are common in formal literary studies, whereas blunt psychiatric diagnosis is decidedly less so).

with kendall's drug use there are some particularly irritating ways this all plays out. i've been fiddling with my own reading emphasising the context of logan's demands on kendall and the construction of bourgeois masculinity, and have tried to place kendall's drug use as a response to neoliberal control mechanisms à la deleuze or foucault. i could certainly be challenged on elements of this reading, but what i see on this website is generally just an endless slog of very biomedicalised reads that seem to have no awareness of the particular historical and social baggage present in that model. i do agree there's an element of reactionary DARE-esque moralising going on here (stg if i have to read one more post written by someone who, like, has never so much as met a coke user and thinks all drugs instantaneously give you irreversible morally weighted heart damage, lmao), but it's honestly not just that.

i think most of the time when people do this they're not trying to be reactionary or regressive, and often they not only don't believe themselves to be moralising affective distress, but actually think the dsm diagnosis is the way to avoid that type of moralisation. this is essentially the "it's a discrete disease entity, so they have no control over it and can't help it, so it's not their fault" argument. in practice this fails on many levels. for one thing, it often implicitly assumes that 'ending the stigma' requires any kind of mental disability or affective distress to be treated analogously to physical disability or illness, as though those latter are not also consistently stigmatised and moralised—because ableism is actually more complex than that and has to do with the fact that capitalism values people on the basis of the 'use' it can make of them and their bodies, etc etc. it is also, again, a wildly decontextualised understanding of affective distress, the reasons why people use drugs—including in a manner that feels compulsive and out of control—and so forth.

i'll add also that wrt succession, i actually do see a LOT of pathologisation thrown at roman as well, and more than an incidental amount directed at connor, tom, shiv, and logan. which is to say, i don't think this is solely about people's discomfort with addicts. there's a broad tendency among fans, echoing the even broader social tendency, to see medical diagnosis as personally liberatory, and medicine and psychiatry as passing 'objective' judgments that are necessary in order for a person to 'get better.' this is essentially positivism and is very much a status that the medical profession has fought to obtain (in france you can trace certain 18th-century discourses on national decline, aristocratic luxury, and the corrupting influence of the city -> the birth of clinical medicine after the first revolution -> social hygiene and the pathologisation of the parisian urban poor -> the third republic's 'physician-legislators' and the general class status and professionalisation of medicine; i know less about the gory details of the american and british cases simply by dint of what i do professionally).

we tend to forget these histories when talking about science; it presents itself as a set of timeless, incontrovertible truths that are simply waiting to be uncovered, and we have entire industries of science communication and journalism that propagate this view. which is to say, circling back to succession, i don't believe that most people diagnosing and pathologising these characters are trying to be reactionary or are aware that there are reactionary and moralising elements inherently built into these discourses. i think they're largely people who have not been given the tools to see alternatives, like the perspectives dominant in the history and sociology of science, which are very much kept paywalled and inaccessible on purpose because this is profitable for the academe.

this type of popular literary analysis is simply not going to go anywhere as long as this is still the status and the moral resonance of medicine (and psychiatry by extension because it gained its professional independence without sacrificing the appeal to medico-scientific epistemological authority). i don't think succession viewers are any more or less prone to this type of thinking than the general population they exist amongst. i firmly disagree with this attitude, obviously, and like i said, i don't actually think succession is written 'psychiatrically,' which cannot be said for all tv lol. but i more or less expect to encounter this type of deference to medico-psychiatric judgments in 95% of social interactions and contexts, again because of a combination of institutional control of information, other forms of inaccessibility, and physicians' and psychiatrists' advocacy for their own class and professional interests, both historically and ongoing today.

[lookbluesoup]

My Take on Fourchenault (complicated)

Making this my own (very long) post and want to say right out the gate that even though seeing several other posts about him inspired me to write my own thoughts out, I'm not here to tell anyone else they're wrong! This is fandom! You're valid! While I don't expect a lot of people to read this and mostly just need to get it out of my head, if I get a bunch of notes on this bashing other fans or parroting hate for specific characters, I will turn reblogs off, and will block people if they try to make this into Drama. Whether you like Levidad or not, be nice.

I also think characters and their actions can mean different things to different people, that's partly the beauty of fiction. Especially in FFXIV, there's a big cinematic element. There's a lot of characters, and background information, that is either left vague or only implied, because they're not relevant to the Main Plot. There's also a lot of subtlety to the FF story, a lot of showing rather than telling, and a lot of different people writing the dialogue, translating it, and building off it. And that leaves gaps that every player will have to fill in for themselves, based on their own reference points. What stands out to one player might be insignificant to another. We are all playing a different game, at the end of the day. I'm not here to tell you, reader, or Fandom at large, what to think. I'm just invested enough in this character to want to share my own thoughts about him!

Overall:

I think he's complicated. I believe he loves his children a helluva lot, but I also think he abusive (partly out of ignorance.) I don't think he's a villain, but I do think he makes some very harmful mistakes and that some of his behavior is very selfish. Which makes him interesting. And I'm very curious what role he'll play as MSQ continues in years to come, what else we might learn about him.

Because this is SO LONG I'm putting my expanded thoughts under a cut!

On Needing Control / Criteria for Abuse

So mostly what I'm going to talk about to start is... warning signs. I'll acknowledge my own bias here in that I'm a psych student who's had to do lots of research, research papers, reviewed case studies, etc. with a particular focus in trauma and abuse. I've spent years IN therapy, coming out of an emotionally abusive home as a neurodivergent and physically disabled person with several (clinically diagnosed) narcissists in my family, and yeah, the issue of parents who are... Overly controlling. Stubborn. Self-certain. And applauded by the outside community, seen as Respectable people in their insular social groups... Hits close to home. So what Fourchenault means to me is absolutely influenced by this background.

A parent can be affectionate a lot of the time, can love their children, be very devoted to family, and still absolutely be abusive. Especially in emotional areas. And, also important - the abusers usually do not see themselves as abusers. They are Protectors. Lovers. Family. Leaders. Victims. Heroes in their narrative. They can believe this so much and so loudly that they convince the people they are abusing, too.

Additionally, doing abusive things does NOT automatically make someone irredeemable, evil, or a villain. It is a flaw, a behavior that can be unlearned, and can be performed out of ignorance and without deliberately trying to hurt someone. I do not think Levidad (Look don't ask me to write out Fourchenault every time this is a long enough essay already) is trying to hurt his family, or that he wants to. And I do think he recognizes some of his mistakes by Endwalker's finale and is on a path to improvement.

But in emotionally abusive homes, you often see dynamics at play where affection becomes a tool for control. Children are given moments of unfailing devotion and love and care as long as they do what's expected of them, but when they misbehave (according to that parent) the affection is withdrawn, or threats are made, even or especially threats the parent doesn't mean, because it's really only about having the child obey. I've seen and experienced this in real life, where parents would threaten to kick their kids out for even minor infractions, just as a scare tactic to keep control, despite having no intention of actually kicking the kid out.

And fear? Is an HUGE motivator for this kind of abuse. Parents can do absolutely wicked things to their children because of a 'greater good' mentality, because they're trying to prevent what they see as greater harm.

People who need control, who are stubborn, who have a temper, might be prone to these tactics. All things Levidad is shown to possess in spades. (I'll expand on some of this further below)

And this dynamic often teaches kids and spouses to desire the affection they know is there, and want, while also being afraid to lose that affection by displeasing their loved one. It may sometimes cause them to become argumentative and self-righteous in their own way (cough, ARR Alphinaud, cough). It can make them belligerent, or insecure and uncertain of themselves, or their worthiness to be loved (Alisaie.) It teaches them to keep secrets, and go behind a loved one's back (Ameliance.)

Some other important aspects of this kind of dysfunctional dynamic is that... the people being abused can be very protective of their abuser. Make excuses. Focus on the good things and minimize the bad. They want to have that relationship, they do genuinely care about the person mistreating them. That doesn't make them incompetent, nor is it meant to infantilize them. It's just a thing that happens to people because of how our brains work and how much most people are wired to need other people and have loyal social bonds. It's a trait to be aware of. It means that just because Fourchenault's family is permissive of his vices, doesn't mean they aren't vices.

AND, to add even more nuance to that, abuse isn't a 24/7 thing. It can be inconsistent. It can vary with the state of mind people are in, other experiences they had that day, and so on. Just because there are a few good days or good choices does not negate all the other bad ones.

A few things that have been stated in canon, which are worth considering to me

He does not read the letters the twins send home, only Ameliance does. While this could mean a lot of things, it can't be argued that he has little to no idea of what is actually going on in his children's lives despite having the opportunity to find out (Ameliance specifically says how she's seen them grow up through their letters!) But in his mind they're still inexperienced children, and he chooses to keep it that way.

Ameliance has been financing the twins and Scions behind Levidad's back. There is no reason to keep this activity a secret from him in a healthy relationship with good boundaries. That could speak poorly of Ameliance instead of Fourchenault, but it's hard to argue for a case where he would have been supportive of her spending. Given his opinions on staying out of other city-state's affairs, and given her behavior compared to his in-game, I'd argue this was more her trying to avoid his ire. Especially because:

I personally find it impossible to justify taking this out on the servants. Are the servants expected to treat his wife as subservient to him rather than an equal, and bar her guests entry? Is he unable to discuss or plan with his wife and trust her (implying a lot of disfunction in the home?) Is taking it out on the servants a roundabout way to punish her? And/or is he going to punish an "acceptable target", the servants, rather than express his anger at his wife or at you, who actually did the thing he's upset about? The servants? Really? People who can't rightly argue back or defend themselves because he is their employer and they are servants? This kind of abuse of power is not the behavior of a benevolent, well-adjusted man. Honestly, for me this line of dialogue alone is a massive warning sign that Fourchenault's need for control can manifest in extremely harmful ways. I'll avoid speculating on just how much that could affect with his family but in this line of dialogue alone there is a lot to unpack.

Alphinaud liked to argue with his dad. Their rows would cause scenes in the house. Alphy is a little shit before Heavensward but assuming he doesn't have some kind of Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Narcissism (he doesn't), I suspect that behavior most likely comes from emotional neglect or abuse. Either seeking attention even if it's negative, or modelling after his dad in argumentative/self-assured approach for approval, or attempting to claim some kind of independence because his home life has been so controlling.

Levidad claims he will do anything to protect his kids, and that he would have forced them onto the Ark even against their will, even if they hated him for it. While that could be read in a touching way, for me it was just another sign that he would do anything to have control. Because to protect his children, he needs to be able to control them. He can love them and use that love to justify infantilizing his children and trying to take their agency away.

While Levidad does let the kids leave Sharlayan (though as they are considered adults, I'm not convinced he actually could have stopped them), it could have been under the assumption they'd come running back soon enough. Since he doesn't read their letters, he may be entirely oblivious to the actual amount of danger they found themselves in. He let them spend time with their grandad, which is good, too. I don't think Levidad demanded total 100% uniformity of belief from his kids, it wouldn't fit with their culture. But at the end of the day I think he still wanted to be assured he was in control.

As far as disowning them. Yeah, I think it was a control tactic, too. I think the only thing he new how to do was Escalate in his disagreement with them, because that's what he did when they were children and they fought. I think the significant moment when Levidad slams them with that excommunication is the fact that Alphinaud does not argue with him. He lets his dad go. And even tells Alisaie not to try, either. Alphinaud has grown. He doesn't need to prove himself to his father anymore, not really. And that means Levidad can't control Alphy anymore, either.

I think if their dad had disowned them as a way to get them a message and pique their curiosity, he would have explained so when the vow of silence was lifted, and apologized for that, explicitly. I don't think he would have been so opposed in the Forum to having the Scions help with the Ark and get involved, because at that point, why continue fostering ill will with the children you love, or potentially risking turning the forum against them?

I could see him being so callous to misdirect the Eorzean Alliance because he does not trust them or want their interference as the Ark will only be able to carry so many people, he doesn't need an army beating down Sharlayan's door, and is baffled/frustrated by his children's opposition in front of everyone, because again, he doesn't know how much they've changed and matured. But disowning them was still about control, in my mind.

Lost in Translation?

It's entirely conceivable to me that Japanese Levidad could be very different from English Levidad. The cultural expectations around behavior, good or bad, are different. And we know, from stuff like how differently Haurchefant's lines were in English vs Japanese at first, that sometimes stuff does change in translation to make it carry better for different audiences. Or because the translator interprets something a specific way. English and Japanese are really different languages and how ideas are communicated or assumptions are made are different, too. Let's also not forget Nael van Darnus's whoopsie gender swap. So if there's parts of Levidad's behavior that seem inconsistent, it could, quite literally, be lost in translation.

I think this makes who he is and why he does things very open for interpretation, so I will reiterate that everyone is free to read him however you like. Your story is yours, and mine in mine, and that's a good thing!

Not a Villain.

Levidad loves his kids. He acknowledges that they've grown in the finale. He relinquishes some of his control. If he hadn't, his kids would have been able to move on without his support. I think he has the capacity to learn to treat them better and that ultimately his love for his kids and desire to have a relationship with them will win out over his need to have control, and I am very curious to see where the story takes them all.

[sunflowerharrington]

Okay guys, real talk, I don’t know what I’m still doing here. But before I go, I need to address some things;

• Currently I am not okay, and I’m mature enough and self aware enough to say that. Listen, I know I’ve done things that i’m not proud of in the past but please stop bringing up those times in my asks. I just can’t take it any more.

• I need to step away from this space and I need a break from creating stories here. I need to feel like myself again and I need to feel comfortable. I’m being open and honest here, sharing exactly how I feel and how some people’s words make me feel.

• Some things that go on in the Stranger Things fandom is absolutely unacceptable and I will not and never will be participating in that, such as harrassing the actors for playing a villain of playing the girl who your favorite likes. Separate the character from the actor, jeez.

• I’ve hit rock bottom on multiple occasions because of some things that go on here and it’s horrible feeling like this. I haven’t been diagnosed with depression yet as of 11/21/22, but if I stay here, that diagnosis will soon come to me.

• I don’t want to sound cruel or mean with anything I say in this post, that is 100% not my intention, I just want to share my thoughts on the current state of the ST fandom and why I’m choosing to leave.

• Some shit messed me up, man, but nothing can compare to this. Not even my near-death experiences hold a candle to it. Or rather, a forest fire, since that’s how I see the fandom right now.

• I would never wish getting hate upon anyone, even if I don’t get along with you. It’s honestly one of the worst things.

• Like, yeah, I want to still be a part of this community obviously because I love the fruit bowls (plural because everyone is gay [it’s true, I asked them all myself] and there’s too many characters to fit in one bowl) and I love the plot of the show. But I just can’t make myself feel comfortable here anymore, it’s exhausting.

• I’ve been hurt by multiple people in this fandom (not naming names because I don’t want to start drama again), and I’ve had enough. Nothing is original anymore, like, it’s a known fact. Facts are facts, America (and everywhere else but I’m quoting my queen Mo, Heart here, so).

• I don’t accept being treated like this and I’m sure you don’t want to be treated like this either. I’m not even going to start mentioning invasion of privacy because that’s a whole different kettle of fish for another day.

• I just don't see a way I can be involved in the fandom if all that happens is that I get sent hate over characters that I hold dearly to my heart.

• First of all, Billy is not real, get over yourself (I’m talking directly to the people who continuously call me a racist when I’m clearly not. It’s actually disgusting how some people could think that honestly and it’s so immature.) And I know what he did (being a racist himself. Yes I do know that, I watched the show back again without rose tinted glasses. But even then like I KNOW he is racist but that’s not his only thing, y’know? He was fucked up, just like us) is a real problem in this world. But, and I can’t emphasize this enough, Billy Hargrove is a fictional character, not a real human being. And unlike him, I am real and I have real feelings and emotions and every single day, when I come on here, I get constantly harassed because of my thoughts on this show without fail. It’s a freaking TV show for Christ sake.

• I can’t be involved with this fandom with how toxic it is right now, so I will be leaving (not for good but for now) and I’ll be focussing on myself. Focussing on who Bee is and trying to figure out what the hell is going on in my mind and why every little thing that happens and every hate comment/ask I get makes me want to end it all.

• I’ll just be sitting in my corner writing fanfic about Eddie Munson and Robin Buckley now like a little gremlin and not posting it until this constant hate storm calms down because I don’t have to if I don’t want to. So, if you need me, send me a DM and I’ll give you my discord if we’re close mutuals.

• Also if we’re friends and you don’t wanna be my friend anymore, tell me first, don’t just leave me high and dry wondering what I did

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. And to the person who told me I’m the reason why Caroline Flack killed herself, you can go fuck yourself because why. Just why?

share this around, thanks - bee <3

Unfriendly reminder: do NOT repost or copy my work while I’m gone. I will find out, trust me

[gentil-minou]

I'd love to go into psychology. I think that diagnosing people is absolutely fascinating, but I have a really hard time with empathy. I can understand characters in TV shows and books and why they do the things that they do, but when it's real people it feels like there's a mental block or something? I just have to try really hard to be understanding and patient and I think that doing that for years would make me feel terrible. I have the right personality to be a psychiatrist, but I hate science and I know that I'd hate doing medical school. I know that there's other jobs in psychology (like a research psychologist, or a professor or something maybe) but getting a PhD is phenomenally hard and I'm not sure if I can do it. I feel like, for a therapist or really for anyone in psychology, having a lot of empathy is almost a requirement. Can you be a therapist if you have a hard time with empathy and relating to people?

Hi! I'm so excited to hear you're interested and I always love talking to folks who are passionate about this as a career! We need folks, yes including folks like you!

For starters: psychology is a broad field and not just one career. There's different types and paths to follow, not just the stuff you see on TV. It can be stuff like psychiatry (which is more medication based and why more like med school), therapist (my field which I didn't need a doctorate for in the USA, only my masters and liscensure hours), occupational therapy (which is its own field and so so very important), school counselor. And etc etc. Some folks even use psych in other fields, like teachers and I know it helps im advertising and marketing. It's so multifaceted that there really isn't a limit!

What I mean to say is, in short, it's about figuring out what you're comfortable with doing and what's the right fit for you. And you have time! One of my classmates in my masters was 50, and they're terrific. Higher education is necessary, but there's many paths for the same thing. I'd say see what opportunities might be available for you now to test the waters, see where your interests lie. Do you like working with kids or adults? Do you prefer play therapy or talking about feelings? Do you like moving around and working on motor skills or helping someone in a crisis or trauma situation? Are you interested in social work or working in schools? Start with researching and see what sparks your interest, the more passionate you are about it the more motivated you'll be to go to school for it.

And as to your second question: you already HAVE empathy. You said you understand what a fictional character is thinking and why they act a certain way, and that's a start.

It's true having empathy is an important skill in this field, but it's a SKILL for a reason. It's something we have to practice, and that's part of why school is so important. Part of it is understanding how someone's experiences lead to they way they act, which comes from not just empathy but understanding the symptoms in play here.

I'll give a real example: a parent comes to me and says they don't like the work I'm doing with their kid and they want a new therapist, even though the kid doesn't. My instinct, and this I cannot stress enough is valid and normal reaction, is to be hurt and upset. I'm even angry, because I know I am doing good work and it's the parent who has been causing issues. I'm frustrated and so very very hurt.

But I can also acknowledge that my feelings are separate from the situation, that I need to dig deeper to find out the full bigger picture here. This career is a lot like detective work, because we have to search for clues that might tell us why someone does or acts a certain way. So for this parent I might think about what I know of home life, current events that might he impacting them. Does the parent have their own mental health that causes issues? Are they upset with me or the situation? And can I help them figure put and communicate? It builds on more than just empathy I think, and it's something that comes largely from experience and recognizing patterns.

It doesn't always come naturally, but it does come with practice. You definitely have empathy if you are able to think about how your reaction affects another person. It's just building on those skills! Gathering experience and letting yourself learn, recognizing what might be a weakness that you can build on. And crucially: Practice practice practice!

[waywardsou2]

REALLY QUICK. I TAKE REQUESTS FOR MOOD BOARDS

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New master post because the old one is broken

About me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Wayward (not irl obviously. Though I wish) Just some basic information *ahem* I'm transmasc, androgenous (masc leaning), omniflux (but mostly mlm). Kinda complicated, yeah, but aren't we all. My pronouns are He/Him (main) Xe/Xir (trialing neos) They/Them (for my more 'who cares about gender' mood). I haven an extensive list here 👉: Pronoun card.

Other random info about me :) I'm an aspiring author (my ao3 here 👈) and self-taught artist.

I have an TMNT AU I'm currently writing/designing. Find that here 👈

I'm also a Punk (in clothing and in ideologies and less so in music. yk just deal with it, it's the spirit that counts)

I'm also a monster fucker -I mean what? Who said that?

My beliefs are centered in Nordic Witchcraft, so no hate or I will bring down the might of Thor on your head. You've been warned. But if you are gonna play nice you can find me here 👈.

I'm quite odd so if that bothers you then don't stick around. I'm never in the mood to fight so don't even try it. Oh also, I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent (probably autistic) and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Although I'm pretty good now-a-days.

This blog is mainly for my shit posting, doom scrolling, fandom shenanigans, hyper fixations and it's my main. Everything else I do branches off into its own blog. Kinda like blog children. Bloglins you could even call them. (I'm coining that term. Mine now) My current hyper fixations are TMNT and HTTYD.

I LOVE GETTING ASKS. I have a few ask games I'm happy to do so I'll link them 👈. I usually answer within a day or two so please send them in. They are so much fun and I love interacting with communites . My DM's are also open if you just wanna chat in general or have any questions you want to ask not publically (for reasons).

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If you are an alter/non human follow me here

As I'm sure most of you can relate to this I really dont see why I need to say it but it's the internet so you can never be too careful. But I'm really attached to a lot of fictional characters from many franchises and if I ever post about them please be nice. Even if you dont like them or the potential discourse around them. Just be decent ok? They can be found here 👈

Now that I've told you about me there are some ground rules to go over for my corner of the internet.

No harassment, bullying, discourse or anything of that nature belongs here. This is a Peaceful blog alright? I dont want none of that shit 🫵

No terfs, no homophobes, no transphobes, no zoophiles, no pedofiles (you are not MAPS ok, fuck off), no incest shippers, no anti-lgbt of any kind, no bigots, no conservative Christians, no religion haters (there is a balance), or anti-alter humanity of any kind. I think you get the idea but if I get even a hint that any of you people are lurking you will get tossed out like the trash you are. IMMIDEITLEY 🖕

No dark jokes or snides at mental health, it's tough shit and people dont need any more negativity to deal with. I will fucking report you if you ever do anything of the sort on my blog.

And finally no drama or discourse. seriously no one has the time or energy for that esspecially me. Just dont ok? 👎

I have a few personal tags and may add more when need arises but if your looking for something in particular you may find them with these tags

#wayward rants

# wayward rambles

#wayward asks

#wayward rambles

# helpful reblogs

# waywards wallflower AU

#waywards art

!!!SHOUT OUT TO MY MOOTS!!!

@neonleons-posts @small-spiderpunkboy @fireflysquidsoup @ghosts-in-the-outfield @promiscuousbarnes @waywardsarah @corrupt-touch @dissapointedcreeper @regulusblackisamermaid

I have another Master Post type post so anything that isn't here will be there. It's kinda like a less detailed pt 2 to this post. You can find that here 👈. And if for some reason you want to see the old Master Post, I am gonna keep it up so you can find that here 👈

That's all for now folks hope you have fun whilst visiting my blog.

[reflections-of-mobius]

Hello, and welcome to the pinned post! My name's Writer, and I'm the mun of this odd little multimuse.

☢ This blog will contain upsetting content from time to time- please make sure you have the proper tags blocked off just to be safe, but I will always try to leave disturbing content under a readmore and tag it appropriately. ☢

☢ This blog is 18+ only. The content here will range, and I don't feel like making an NSFW sideblog. It will, of course, be tagged for those who don't want to see it- but if you're under eighteen, for the love of sanity, stay away. ☢

☢ If you have a problem with self-inserts, selfships, powerful OCs, or incredibly AU Canons, then leave. ☢

[Rules | Muse Roster | Promo Post | Universes | Relationships]

As for me- I'm Writer, a twenty-three year old nonbinary mate (they/them) who's really just here to have fun, hang with friends, and build worlds. I identify as ficto (a subtype of the aro-ace club, yes I know how to separate fiction and reality, you're not original if you try to ask me that), and I'm a Pisces/INFJ/Metal Snake, for those who would want to inquire. I'm mostly a gamer and an anime fan, so I flip between playing games and watching television... A lot.

I've been diagnosed with Depression and Social/General Anxiety, and my friends tend to think I might have undiagnosed ADHD/BPD, but I have yet to be tested. I get overwhelmed pretty easily, and stress can make me totally shut down and go into hiding to recover. So if ever I suddenly vanish for a few days- it's nothing against you, I'm just recovering.

⚠️ I do not claim ownership of Mephiles the Dark, Dark Gaia, or Sonic the Hedgehog. I claim ownership of my personal spin on each character, as well as the headcanons I've made for all the worlds present here- but not for the base idea of 'Mobius', 'Chaos Emeralds', and things generally seen in the Sonic Franchise. ⚠️

⚠️ While I do claim ownership over Arwen Conch, Cinnamon Curl (and their pet cat Milky), Fin Freja, Node Gate, and Tempest Lock, I was not the one to come up with the designs for Cinnamon Curl and Fin Freja. I adopted the designs from kandaarts (here on Tumblr, Fin) , Blayris6 (on DeviantArt, Milky) and dart22345 (also on Deviantart, Cinnamon), respectively. Arwen Conch's design was made on a whim via this picrew. ⚠️

⚠️ This blog is 18+. If you are under eighteen, leave. I will (at times) roleplay sensitive topics, and smut may come up every here and there (mostly on Sunday/Sinday, if at all). I don't want minors to see that stuff. ⚠️

⚠️ This blog does have a selfship, as well as two self-inserts- and at times will delve into selfships. The OCs are all relatively powerful for their given worlds, and the self-inserts are given power on par with the canons. The canons (namely, Mephiles and Dark Gaia ) have been heavily rebuilt on this blog, and will not function as they would if you just pulled them from their given games. If you came here to interact with a sneaky Mephiles who hates your character, or a Dark Gaia that just wants to see the world burn, you will be disappointed. If you came here seeking target practice from OCs, you will be disappointed. If you came here to escape selfshipping, you will be disappointed. ⚠️

⚠️ Note: when I say 'selfshipping', I mean writing a self-insert and then shipping that SI with the characters in a given series. ⚠️

⚠️ DNI if: Nazi, pedophile, MAP, racist, homophobic, under eighteen, proship, don't 'believe' in mental illnesses, intolerant, hater of selfships, hater of OCs, hater of canon divergence. ⚠️

🔘 This blog runs on a queue system. For the most part, I will space out replies to post once a day unless I have several days off from work in a row. If you don't like a blog run on a queue system, that's on you, not me. 🔘

🔘 Event threads will take precedence over regular threads. I will space out events at my leisure. 🔘

🔘 The Sonic Franchise is my secondary interest. My main is MHA/Toshinori Yagi. 🔘

🔘 I work early morning shifts, so I'm usually asleep by a decent hour and awake before the sun's even up, most days. (EST) 🔘

🔘 My energy ain't always the best.- So please don't bug me for replies. Sometimes I forget, so if it's been over a month, you're welcome to ask me if I spaced on answering your thread (please send me the link to the most recent response you made, if you can!). 🔘

And if you made it this far, let me just say- congratulations! How you read all that and didn't keel over is beyond me.

My personal favorite Sonic games are: Sonic Unleashed, Sonic 06, Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, and Sonic Riders. I also loved the Sonic X anime, though I was never particularly invested in Chris Thorndyke.

Some credits aside from those I put down for the character designs that I adopted...:

The 'caution' tape dividers that I plan to use on this blog for adult content, dark content, and triggering content were all originally made by cafekitsune (on Tumblr). They're free and public to use, but if you do use them, please do as I did and like, reblog (I threw them all into my queue, but they will reblog bit-by-bit), and credit from the original posts.

Adult Content Tape Source Dark Content Tape Source Triggering Content Tape Source

Hopefully, that's enough rambling. For now.

May your day/night be fun, and may your rest be enjoyable!

And remember- you are amazing, as you are.

[pulim-v]

You said you wanted me to yap about my ocs so here I am. Have some thoughts that have been spinning in my cement mixer brain :3

So Maya and Jack are quite different. One of the major differences being that Maya is quite adventurous and Jack is more cautious. So here’s the reasoning behind why they are both like that

Maya-

Maya’s mom is terminally ill with a rare disease. She’s one of the only members of the siren species with this kind of illness, and the only one to have lived as long as she has after being diagnosed (10 years so far) she is barely able to breathe, let alone swim, so she stays in their cove most of the time. Since they don’t know what causes this illness, Maya has convinced herself that she will get it too at the same age as her mom (her mom was in her twenties when she got sick) so she has a very devil may care attitude. She does whatever she wants since she figures she won’t be alive to reap the consequences. She also goes through life trying to bond with as few people as possible (Jack managed to grasp her despite that but she still has some walls up with them despite being friends for many years) because she is scared deep down of having to leave them.

Jack is kinda the opposite side of that coin. He is terribly afraid of living forever, so he’s extremely careful and deliberate with everything he does, because he figures that any diversion from what is supposed to happen will throw his life into mess, and he will have to live with the consequences always, no escape. He didn’t mean to become friends with Maya, and there are a lot of days he regrets it, because she chases trouble. He loves her anyway tho. He also hates forming connections because only the vampires are immortal, and since he never truly feels like a vampire (trans allegory is intended lmao) he doesn’t form relationships with many of them

Ahhhh I’m sorry that was a lotta yapping 🙈 these thoughts have just been trapped in my brain and I wanted to share them with someone :3

Okay you're crafting a really interesting story! You've defined wants for both characters (saving her mother and/or herself for Maya and transing their species for Jack), consequences of said wants for both of them in ways that contrast and intersect, and you have a lot of parallels going on in how the concept of mortality affects both of them. It's some good stuff!

Usually I see a lot of carelessness when it comes to immortal beings in fiction, since they play it off as "it doesn't matter, it'll all be over eventually", but with Jack not wanting to BE immortal, it makes sense that they'd be more careful about it all; he could be trapped in that body forever if he wasn't, after all.

And I love that despite it all they're friends. Someone who might not live much longer, ans someone who might live for too long, and they've built an unbreakable bond of friendship without even meaning to.

They're really cool!!! I like them a lot and I'm excited to see where their story goes!!!!

[thrythlind]

So, reddit wasn't letting me post this comment so I'll just post a link to the reddit discussion that I was trying to respond to.

My first comment is that it is perfectly valid to have preferences in the style of game that you desire to play. I also respect the "I'd rather be doing it in real life". Some people are just not going to enjoy the hobby. However, the phrasing feels very judgmental. Instead of being satisfied with just stating the preference, the request is stated in a very "wrong bad fun" manner.

I appreciate the push for media literacy to understand some of the things that exist in the periphery of various games and it is good practice to keep yourself aware of some of the societal forces that inspire some game styles. But at the same time, sometimes a game is just a game. I personally like finding a deeper meaning in my fiction and game play. Finding what it means to me, often separate from the meaning assumed by other people. And I do occasionally interrogate myself as to what I find enjoyable about a particular story or game but for most games it is just a shrug. There comes a point where the urge to find deeper worth to our recreation feels like an internalization of good old Protestant Work Ethic where we've been convinced that enjoying things is a sin and that there must be a purpose in all of our activities. (Never mind that enjoyment is a purpose in and of itself and vital to mental health.)

As regards the points in summary:

For the first point, I do sometimes enjoy playing ordinary people. I wrote a whole supplement about slice-of-life gaming, and I have an entire setting where the average supernatural person is just as much a civilian as the humans of the setting. I thoroughly enjoy a setting where people are people are people and games where the big challenge is building the best booth for the school fundraiser fair. But sometimes I just want to punch some bad guys. That power fantasy can be cathartic especially in a life where we have little to no power in real life.

I am also fairly offended by the idea that wanting to play someone exceptional is ableist. Specifically, I am offended by the idea that wanting to play an exceptional person is ruling out the disabled. This feels like a bit of condescension to me. Like they would be among the people who would complain about adventurers in wheelchairs being unrealistic. I have some minor physical issues (apnea, lymphedema, and recurring anemia) and also have had regular issues with depression and anxiety. This may play into the fact that I play a lot of characters that have mental issues and appreciate mechanics that give me a genuine feel of such issues while remaining distant and safe so I can appreciate overcoming them from a clear mind.

For that matter, while I've not been diagnosed, I am some manner of autistic and have a lot of markers for ADHD as well. If I lived in a health system that isn't set to wringing me for money like a towel for water, I'd have gone to get an official diagnosis. This is part of why when I go to D&D, I've leaned heavily into the yuan-ti culture. Back when Volo's was posted, they had a section on the psychology of the yuan-ti where they tried to justify why they were evil and they did the obnoxious thing of "they do this neurodivergent thing and that's why they're evil." But cutting it down to just the neurodivergent things, they were a host of relatable experiences which I've had that have never led me to wanting to be cruel or murderous to people. So, yeah, yuan-ti became very much a "this is me" group.

All this is to say, that I kinda find it ableist to label the desire to be a hero as ableist.

On the second point. This isn't really a standard in a lot of games I imagine it's more prevalent in video games where proper modeling of societal change is very difficult. Tabletop games I've been in have largely been more focused on resisting or toppling oppressive or corrupt regimes. But also there's a very real difference between protecting the status quo in a game versus protecting the status quo in real life. I mentioned earlier that real life can grind you down and sometimes you want to come back from that and just have a feeling of being able to protect something. And again, that catharsis is useful and healthy. Yes, there's a point you reach willful ignorance, but that's not going to be the majority of players.

Sometimes that status quo you're protecting is your own hope and self-worth and you just embody it in your mind as some fantasy kingdom or superhero city.

Likewise, I'm going to pull out the Terry Pratchet and point out that fantasies are important towards the purpose of taking an ideal and making it into something real. When we put a noble king or mayor or priest or some other authority figure into a game, that's not a real person. It's going to be some version of what we wish authority figures are... as in actual authorities in the sense of authority meaning someone who knows what the fuck they're doing and means well. Again, most of the time there's nothing really deep going on, but like we have to be able to imagine an ideal government if we're ever going to create one. And giving it the face of a queen or king or mayor or whatever is fine.

In this regard, I like playing characters with a lot of faith or who are religious in some ways and usually in ways that are different from the stereotypical holy types. Ranging from ace sex worker paladins to artificers imbuing prayers alongside arcane formula into their crafted items or priestesses whose class is bard or celestial warlocks bound to massive couatls or the Book of Exalted Deeds. And yes that's all D&D, but also I play a fair amount of Scion 2e where you are often on the path to being a god. And you know what my favorite enemy is to face for these sorts of characters? Oppressive religious figures. And that's definitely because I find megachurches and the plethora of false prophets preaching hate and violence in real life objectionable to my personal faith. Which is a whole other conversation. Suffice to say I was raised Catholic but am more agnostic these days.

Again, sometimes the status quo you're protecting is your vision of the future you hope to see created.

On point three, yeah, this can definitely be an issue. And the one I have the least problems with. I find it weird to call it a "glorification of the war on terror" because again, that's a single interpretation and such interpretations will be different from player to player. Also that's a very young interpretation and this tendency is far far older than the war on terror. I'd point toward colonialism instead. While there are definitely companies out there doing their best to address colonialist approaches in games, this is going to be very different table to table. A game thoroughly imbued with colonialist thought can become thoroughly anti-colonialist in the hands of one table while a very progressively written game can become horribly regressive and oppressive in the hands of a different table.

That said, this does seem to counteract the second point, because if you're protecting the status quo then that tends to imply you're part of that status quo and thus one of the locals. Not necessarily true, I know. But still feels weird.

Also, my favorite way to do this is to show that the heroes are NOT the only competent team out there. Campaign situations are vast and complex problems with many troubles. There are going to be other teams that the PCs occasionally work with that are contributing their own issues. Heck, my games our groups tend to encourage building up the locals and working with other heroes to get things done.

Once again, the helplessness of the locals is going to depend on how your table runs things.

On the 4th, I've played a D&D campaign where over the course of 10 sessions we had 3-4 rounds of combat. Not per session. That was over the entire stretch of 10 sessions. My group leans heavily towards diplomancy and talking out our problems with the locals. That said, this is another case of catharsis.

There's a lot of complex problems that are so big and hard for a single person to address in real life. But you come into a game and you can give misogyny or racism or ableism a face and punch this incarnate form of the abstract issue that is giving you issues. It's a vent for the frustrations we experience trying to deal with corporations, megachurches, and bigots. Once again, asking yourself why you enjoy the violence in a piece of fiction is valid, but fantasy violence is not the same thing as real life violence. And the threshold of when it becomes unhealthy is not nearly as thin as many people think.

This is the same line of thought where people say video games cause violence.

[narcoticv3nus]

this blog explores mature themes, and while i strive to avoid extreme graphic content, please be mindful of any potentially triggering material that may be flagged in the warnings and tags of my writing. if you notice a lack of a potentially triggering tag in any post, i would greatly appreciate it if you could bring it to my attention.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 open!

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 & 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

ᰔ this blog is for adults 18+ only. minors do not interact! if you're an adult, display your age on your blog before interacting with me and my work.

ᰔ if you interact with me and your age or an age indicator is not readily visible on your blog, i will block you!

ᰔ i am currently open to requests, so if you have any ideas or prompts you'd like to share, please feel free to send them my way. your input is truly valued and appreciated!

ᰔ while i am open to receiving requests, please understand that i am selective about the ones i choose to write. i reserve the right to decline any prompt, regardless of the reason. i appreciate your understanding.

ᰔ it's essential to remember that it may take me up to a week or more to respond to a request, especially if it's long. i will try to reply to all the messages i receive and genuinely value each interaction. however, as one person with other commitments, i find it difficult to respond to everyone. nonetheless, i will do my best!

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

ᰔ please be aware that this blog may contain spoilers. while my content often focuses on side stories, i still want to provide this warning as a precaution.

ᰔ i want to let you know that i write exclusively for female readers because it's the perspective that i feel most comfortable and confident writing for. it's important to me to portray the reader as i see myself, and all my writing is very personal to me. i also want to mention that my work may reflect some of my own experiences with mental health, including diagnoses such as autism, adhd, ocd, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder.

ᰔ i want to emphasize that the reader is generally very feminine. i am not a stereotypical 'badass' person, and i am very girlish despite being considered nonbinary. if any of this doesn't resonate with your preferences or makes you feel uncomfortable, that's okay! it just means that my writing might not be the best fit for you, and that's completely fine.

ᰔ i kindly request that you refrain from creating spin-offs, fan fiction, or other works set within the universe of my stories or alternate universes. if you're uncertain about what qualifies as a spin-off as opposed to mere inspiration, please feel free to ask for clarification. thank you!

ᰔ © all work and content posted are the property of narciticv3nus 2024. It is strictly prohibited to alter or repost them under any circumstances. do not replicate or assert them as your own. refrain from endorsing my work on tiktok, wattpad, ao3, or any other social media platform. additionally, do not utilize my work for asmr purposes.

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫:

fluff, smut, angst, rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, established relationship, hurt/comfort, different aus, dom! & sub! characters, soft & rough smut, usage of drugs and alcohol, degradation & praise, legal and morally correct age difference, loss of virginity, dumbification, condescension, hybrids, a/b/o, threesomes, poly relationships, dacryphilia, edging, and more

ᰔ your online experience is crucial to your safety and happiness. please remember to care for yourself and block any content or users (including myself) that may harm you. your well-being is essential, and it is okay to prioritize it.

𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫:

mommy/daddy kink, ddlg relationship dynamics, age play, nonconsensual somnophilia, toxic relationships, hard drugs or addiction, full blood incest nor pseudo-incest (step-cest), yandere behavior, noncon/dubcon, orgies, watersports, vomit, scat, pegging, ass eating, anal, pedophilia, underage, parents/parenthood, pet play, lactation, eating disorders, character x character ships, vore, bestiality, necrophilia, feet fetishes, etc

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫:

ᰔ the characters highlighted in bold are the ones i will write for the most because they are my favorites!

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲

simon "ghost" riley, john "bravo six" price, kyle "gaz" garrick, john "soap" mactavish, könig, keegan p. russ, kim "horangi" hong-jin, sebastian kruegar

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧

higuruma hiromi, choso, nanami kento

⊹ ࣪ ˖୨ৎ 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐈

arthur morgan

[violetsiren90]

I don't want you to think that you have to reply right away, sometimes I reply quickly just so I don't forget to respond to them - if I'm actually replying through inbox. But don't be pressured to respond right away.

I don't know why I tend to make size a competition for some reason.. I always do that. Every time someone says they're of short height, I am so competitive enough to say, "But are you this short?!" And I'm really not trying to be rude about this. But I'm always like this about my size though. But yes. 99% of the men I'm attracted to, real or fictional, will always be larger than me (including shorter men too). That's obvious.

And I know you can't see me, but I am older than my appearance may seem to most people. I'm actually the same age as Yoongi. We're born in the same year but he's months older than me. I may be a very short babyfaced woman but I'd tend to surprise people with my actual age.

So having an ultra size kink is definitely a given for one of my kinks.

And yeah.. I haven't written in a long while, because of many personal reasons I'd rather not get into. So I do wanna try getting back into any creative hobbies again, like writing, but I am definitely gonna be rusty though. So I want to attempt creative projects again so we'll see what happens with that. And not just for BTS but fandoms, celebrities, and characters in general too. There's so many stories I want to write now.

And yes. Maybe? Don't get me wrong! I know some people do write a few short characters. Sometimes. I know people tend to write original and reader insert characters more inclusive so everyone's able to a lot of those stories. Which I can understand. Though those stories are so inclusive from perspective even with vague descriptions. Like, as only one example, say the male and female character are standing next to each other. The BTS boys are gonna be with this example since this is how to conversation started. Jimin and Yoongi are the shortest at 5'9 in full height; Hoseok, Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung are in the middle at 5'10; Namjoon's the tallest at 5'11 (some sites say 6'0). I know most sites vary so I was trying to stick to the roundabout sizes listed for my explanation. And my size is 4'6. The shortest female characters I have ever seen written are about 5'2 which is the average short height for a lot of women. Which makes sense. And, without sounding sexual, any descriptions based on height doesn't seem fitting for me at all. If I am comparing my size to them? If I'm standing face to face with Jimin or Yoongi, my face would actually reach about their stomach like to their navel. And if Namjoon is 5'11, maybe 6'0, my full height next to him is more towards his groin. It reminds me of the sexually condescending comments about my size that guys have said to me. So, I'm definitely shorter than many women. And people in general. So whenever I read intimate moments between the characters, I'm not able to connect in that way because that's not my size. If the male and female are in this intimate scenario. Hugging, kissing, sex, situations like that. If they're hugging or kissing, the female character usually reaches up to a fuller height at about the male character's shoulders or even their chest too compared to me who would reach their stomach. And there is certain sexual positions that would be played out differently because of sizes like this. Which is not so realistic to me. Because I can't relate to that.

Actually! Same with dancing being another intimate moment, doesn't matter if the characters are fast or slow dancing. Because there's also size differences between those characters. So add that to the list too.

What the fuck.

But.. Yeah. Generally speaking, there are some friends who convinced me to write certain characters in my own stories like short characters and even disabled characters (disabled mainly in the sense of mental, neurological and neurodivergent disabled because of my diagnoses).

Yeah. I didn't mean to accidently send you the same video twice, well, kind of the same video. But the only difference was one video had the seven boys and the other video had four boys. Either way, I was kinda really trying to find more videos of their faces like that. There are a lot of other videos I couldn't find. I still can't find the Yoongi one either.

Before I forget.. The stories you recommended me. I've already read a lot of those stories before. Not that I couldn't read the stories again, if I want to. So now I might have some reading and rereading to do too.

I always try to answer as quickly as possible but sometimes it takes me a bit! 😅 But thank you, I appreciate that.

I'm so glad to hear that you're diving back into your hobbies and expressing yourself creatively again! I love that for you!!

Yes, I can definitely see how in many scenarios it could be tough to relate to the situations happening in a story if it's just completely different than what you would really experience!

I'm very sorry to hear about any disparaging remarks made by men about your height in comparison to their bodies. I hope you know that your existence isn't invalidated in any way by its reference to assholes like that. 💜

Yep, there is always a need for more perspectives and more representative voices in art and creativity! You never know who may be given a deeper sense of belonging in the fandom space due to your work!

I love those kinds of edits! The duality is real. 😳

Well, it seems we have similar taste if you already read those! Great minds think alike. 😊

Also, no pressure, but if you're going to hang out around these parts (which I would love), feel free to assign yourself an emoji if you'd like one to be an anon on my page! 💕

[missmentelle]

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you are healing well. <3

Secondly, thank you for taking the time and energy to answer the questions you receive. I've never seen you half-ass an answer or a post on here, and I appreciate how much you put into this blog to educate anyone who comes across it, especially with accepting anonymous asks and your services being free.

Lastly, I hope to write TV shows in the future with diverse characters, especially in the realm of mental health. I currently want to focus on learning about all of the different classifications of disorders (personality vs. dissociative vs. learning vs. trauma, etc.). Do you have any books that you could recommend that introduce the types of disorders?

(I've only minored in psychology, and continued learning about mental health via learning about my own and my friends' disorders and watching videos about DID. I mention this so you know my starting point.)

Thank you for your time, and have a nice day!!

Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words!

I think it’s great to want to write about mental illness and include mentally ill characters in your fiction - good representation is incredibly important, and really shapes how our culture views and understands mental illness. I also write fiction and screenplays, and have often found myself incorporating the things I’ve learned over the years from working in this field.

If you want to write authentically about what it’s like to live with mental illness, I actually don’t recommend that you focus your time on learning about the categories and classifications of mental illnesses. I can tell you from my experiences working with mentally ill and neurodivergent people for nearly a decade now that the vast majority of people don’t fit neatly into categories. It’s pretty rare to find someone who ticks all the boxes of any particular mental illness - two people with the same diagnosis can have wildly different symptoms, and two people with very similar symptoms can have two very different diagnoses. Most people will have a smattering of symptoms from several different possible diagnoses, or symptoms that definitely impact their life, but only “sort of” match any possible diagnosis. When we diagnose people, we’re not really saying “this is for sure the exact thing that they have”, the way that medical doctors try to diagnose - we’re usually just saying “this is probably the best fit for their symptoms based on what we know right now”. Knowing someone’s diagnosis doesn’t ultimately tell you much about them. 

Understanding what it’s like to live with mental illness also means looking beyond a diagnosis and exploring how a person’s environment and social context interacts with their mental illness. The circumstances of your life determine your experience of mental illness, and in turn, having a mental illness will impact the circumstances of your life. People are not all equally likely to develop a mental illness, and people with mental illness do not have the same prognosis - things like your culture, your socioeconomic standing, your family support, early childhood trauma, your religion, your location, your access to services and your gender all play into how (or whether) you will experience mental illness. A person with bipolar disorder who grew up in a loving, stable home and has supportive parents who can afford health insurance and private therapy is going to have a very different experience of the disorder than someone who has no health insurance and grew up in a violent and unstable home with a parent who also lived with unmanaged bipolar disorder. All of these factors matter - you cannot separate a person’s experience of mental illness from the context in which they experience it. 

Ultimately, I think the best way to learn how to write convincingly about mental illness is to read first-hand accounts of lived experience. Memoirs from people who live with serious mental illness (or memoirs from family who’ve tried to help loved ones navigate a very broken mental health care system) are a great resource - I already have a reading list of  books that can get you started. With some digging, you can also find a wealth of blogs, vlogs and articles from people who live with mental illness and neurodivergence; these will ultimately give you a much richer idea about what mental illness is actually like than a clinical description or a list of symptoms. 

Best of luck to you! MM

[werevulvi]

You know how often I ask myself, why can't I just be normal? It's quite a lot. I wanna talk about something I've never told anyone before, aside from a few strangers online. I've suppressed this my whole life, since childhood. I've acted with anger towards others with the same thing as me, told them how it's offensive and awful. Refused to allow myself to even think about my own urges and desires. It worked for a long time, until I wrote my book this summer, a fiction story about a couple who end up disabled from their dangerous work as assassins. My intentions were just... to try to give good representation and explore something I knew very little about.

So I did a lot of research into my characters' disabilities, and even briefly pretended to have those specific disabilities at home alone, just to get an idea of what it's like to manage daily life with them. It was just a writer's thing, just being a dedicated writer, I told myself, as I researched those disabilities far more in-depth than I did about assassins...

At one point, I would cover my eye with a makeshift eye patch, as one of my main character's loses an eye, and I... it brought forth what I had suppressed my whole life, and I can't suppress it anymore as a result of that. The bottled feelings have escaped and I can't put them back in again.

I think I have Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID.) There, I said it.

It's a very rare mental illness that makes you want to become disabled, usually in some very specific way. Most are males, and most desire amputation, but it can pertain to wanting blindness, deafness, or I guess, any conceivable disability. There's only been a few thousand reported cases, but it's also said to be a very secret disorder, so numbers are probably not accurate. It's very poorly researched, poorly understood, and still not recognized as an actual disorder. So you can't be diagnosed with it currently, and there are no set criteria for it. However, it will be in the upcoming ICD-11 (the International Classification of Diseases.) It will then also be re-named to Body Integrity Dysphoria (BID) as it's being recognized as a form of dysphoria, and as a neurological condition.

And now for the obligatory life story:

I don't remember when it started, but as a child, I'd say roughly age 5 or 7, I was obsessed with fictional characters that had a distinct scar over one eye, and either blind in that eye or entirely missing it. I would on occasion play around with a hand covering one eye, and wished I could have that for real. For a long time, I didn't know why I was so obsessed with that. If I was just admiring that kinda physical feature, or wanted it myself, or both. Throughout my teens and adulthood thus far, I've made a lot of drawings of people with only one eye, and scarred faces. I wrote another book back in 2013 with one of the main characters being a woman with a large scar across half her face. I've always been a little too fascinated with facial deformities, having only one eye, and facial assymmetry. And I've tried to express it with assymmetrical makeup looks (not made to look like I'm injured) throughout my teens and 20's.

So it's been with me for a very long time, even though I've tried super hard to suppress it, and tried to tell myself that I should just be happy to have a mostly abled body. But that wish/urge/whatever it is, has never gone away.

When I first heard of BIID, back in 2016 or so, I was angry, and thought of people with it as despicable. I was in deep denial of how much I could relate to them. Didn't want to think of that. But since learning more about the condition, and listening to others who have it, and learning it is actually a real condition... I guess that has helped me eventually come to this point that, well fuck... it me.

Up until recently, I thought it was just a self-harm desire, as I used to be a cutter, but now I understand that the self-harm was not the intention behind what I want with that, but merely the means to achieve it. Kinda like how I wanted to cut my own tits off before I had my double mastectomy. It wasn't about specifically wanting to injure my chest, but to not have tits anymore, and I much preferred the much safer way of doing it, through proper surgery. However, wanting half my face re-arranged is a little bit harder to achieve through elective surgery, even if surgeons were allowed to treat BIID through surgery. So I do not think my desire to get rid of my left eye and surrounding tissues is about wanting to harm myself. It's about wanting to have and live with the result of such an injury. Although I get that might be very unimaginable.

So then, have I ever made any attempts?

Yeah... I have. Once, I think it was when I was 22, I took a blade to my face, but chickened out, and ended up only making a very superficial cut on my cheek, which I was then extremely ashamed of. I didn't want for people to find out I had made it myself. Since then, I've stopped self-harming and have no desire to make a second attempt. I'm scared I'd fuck it up and cause damage I don't want, or... not enough damage. And I'm worried I'd be beyond myself with shame if I would take out my own eye and then other people would show sympathy for my injury, knowing I'd have caused it myself. I just kinda wish it would happen accidentally somehow.

So, to clarify, my BIID targets my left eye and left side of my face. Why left? Honestly because I'm deaf since birth on my left ear, so it would be extremely inconvenient to be deaf on one side and blind on the other. Much more manageable to have one side be blind-deaf and the other fully seeing and hearing. But at first it didn't matter to me so much which side of my face would be affected. I have no desire to become an amputee or fully blind. I also don't have a fetish for disabled people.

Would I date a disabled person?

Yes, but that's because some attractive people just so happen to be disabled, and I wouldn't think I'm particularly judgemental, not that I find their disabilities in and of themselves attractive.

I try to quell this desire, to lose an eye and half my face, by on occasion wearing an eye patch in secrecy. I know it can worsen my vision, but why on Earth would I mind that? It's kinda what I want. But my mom almost caught me wearing it today as she came by for a quick visit, and I have worn it at the grocery store, and out and about in my village. It feels so damn right, yet so fucking wrong...

Let's tackle this question as well: Do I feel like an ass towards disabled people?

Yes and no. Thing is, I'm already disabled myself. I'm not an abled person to begin with. I live on permanent sickness compensation, classified unable to work, for life, with little to no chance at improvement, due to my autism and adhd. I have the energy levels of an old cellphone that drops to 2% battery ten minutes after being fully charged every time. And I hate it. I hate that there's so much in life that I'll probably never be able to do. So disability, is already part of my life, and always has been. So why then would I want to become more disabled, instead of less? Well, yeah that is what I want...

I've faced a shit ton of ableism since childhood, and I actually think that's why I got BIID. Because my actual disability is invisible and not taken seriously in society. And I think that's what I deep down want: to just have my disability be visible and taken seriously. Physical disabilities are taken more seriously. I've even heard that straight from the mouths of people who have both mental and physical disabilities. How often have I not been called lazy for something I've been literally unable to do, just because I "look" capable? How often do I get to hear I "don't seem autistic?" How often do I get told that autism is not even a disability, but merely a personality trait and being socially awkward? How often do I get told I would be able to work if I just tried harder? All. The. Fucking. Time.

I think that's why, ever since I was a child, I've wanted to have a physical disability, which is fully visible, and cannot be ignored. And what's more visible than the face? We interact with it the most. Because I don't really want to be less capable or lose a lot of movement, I just want for my already disabled existence to be visibly disabled.

So that's a big reason for why I think I have BIID. Which is to say, I don't feel like I'm being an ass towards disabled people, because I'm already disabled to begin with, merely wishing I was more disabled and in a more visible way. Had I been abled to begin with, I think that would have been different, but even abled people with BIID don't choose to have this condition. I read a quote from a person with BIID, who got the amputation he wanted, and he said basically that he didn't know what's worse, having BIID or being disabled. I can relate to that. And I think that is the irony here, that simply having BIID is like being disabled in and of itself already.

That said, however, I do understand why disabled people would be greatly offended, angry, or otherwise insulted, by people with BIID. Honestly I cannot understand why they would not be. I'm greatly offended by people who say they wish they were autistic! And I'm offended at myself for wishing I had a facial deformity and only one eye. Why do I want this!? I keep trying to shake sense into myself. It's what's causing my shame and wishing I could just be normal. No disabilities, and no wish for disabilities I don't have. That'd be great.

There is one more aspect I also feel the need to tackle: Transabled.

BIID has recently been rather often labeled as "transabled" in the same vein as "transracial" (wanting to be another race) and transgender. As a transsexual, this comparison is of course something that I have not missed. I'm painfully aware. This is how I see it, alright: Although I do feel like my body integrity dysphoria is incredibly similar to my sex dysphoria, I feel like it would be extremely rude and tone deaf to identify as for example vision impaired, deaf or an amputee, without actually having those disabilities. And I do not know if anyone actually does this. As far as I've seen, some people with BIID may pretend to have the disability they want (like with me walking around with an eye patch despite having no medical need for it) but they don't lie about it, or they try hard to avoid ending up in a situation where they'd feel pressured to lie. So I dunno how much validity there even is in anyone with BIID genuinely identifying as transabled. But regardless of that, I think it's absolutely abhorrent to identify as disabled in ways you are not. And I'd never tell anyone that I'm missing an eye when I do not.

So, I really do not like the term "transabled" and much prefer the BIID and BID terms. I do not like BIID being conflated with being transgender, although I want to very carefully say that the two conditions are so incredibly similar, that... I think that's another big reason I ended up with both. That I've always felt a strong disconnect from my body, which has merely expressed itself in a wide array of ways, ranging from sex dysphoria to body integrity dysphoria, dissociation and even having previously identified as otherkin. I don't think that's a coincidence at all. But then what caused all of that? I don't think there is a simple answer, but a multitude of reasons, and it may even connect with my autism as well as my trauma.

So, I'd say most likely it's caused by a cocktail of neurological and social issues. I was just clearly meant to be a broken person, making the most of my life with the sucky cards I was dealt, and on good days... I guess I'm kinda okay with that. At least it's not boring. Let's end on that not super tragic note. Feel free to ask me anything, if you’ve got any questions.

[ceridwyn2]

This may seem like a stupid (and unpopular with some) question, with AO3, is there a way to filter out some writers in search results? I’m doing a search through a particular fandom (no, not stating which one, as I’ve seen it across more than just one fandom) at the moment, and there is a lot of crap there amongst the good gems. I’m picky when I read fanfic 😅 , and a lot of times I don’t have time to wade through hundreds/thousands of stories to look for the good ones.

By the way, this ended up being a lot longer than I originally intended 😂 as I was thinking it through. What I like in the stories I read as follows:

A) Be grammatically correct

B) Spelling correct

C) Sentence & paragraph structure correct. Dialogue for each character in separate paragraphs.

D) Point of View: maintain one person’s point of view either for the whole scene or whole story. Especially important if stories are written in first person (I/My/Me) or second person (You/Them/They). These stories are often harder to write and maintain throughout well. If it’s first person, you’re only writing from one character’s point of view: on how *I* see/hear/experience the things around *me*. *I* don’t/can’t know what the other characters are thinking/feeling other than what *I* see/observe in their behaviour, unless they tell *me* what they think/feel. Writing in second person is equally difficult to maintain unless you’re very skilled at it. You’re writing as though your addressing the reader/person directly, as if you know them personally, intimately (does not need to be sexually) by using *you*. / Example: You love to write; you should do it more often. / If you’re of a certain age and remember the ‘choose your own adventure’ child/young adult books of the 70s-90s, they were in a person point of view.

Majority of fanfiction, and fiction in general is written in third person. Third person is like you’re the audience watching a tv show/film/play/book. You’re a non-active participant of what is happening and cannot affect the direction or outcome of the story. The primary subject of the scene is referred to by their name or rank and their pronoun(s), and is often the first character mentioned at/near beginning of the scene / Example: DCI Cassie Stewart walked into the incident room of her Historic Cases Unit, with a quick glance at her officers before heading into her office. It wasn’t long before her second in command, DS Sunil Khan, or Sunny, as he preferred, wrapped on the glass window pane of her office door. / That scene is dictated from her point of view, how she directs those around her and how those around her interact with her. Had it been slightly different, but same scenario: /DS Sunil Khan looked up as the door to the Historic Cases Unit opened and saw his boss, DCI Stewart, make her way to her office, glancing at the team as she did. Having got some new leads on their current case overnight, Sunny headed towards her office to notify her ahead of the day’s briefing. / This obviously changes whose point of view is the primary for that scene to Sunil.

Third person It allows the writer to explore different perspectives and viewpoints of different characters to move the story forward. However, that being said, to avoid reader confusion, pick one character - a main character, supporting character, or a villain - as the primary character of that scene and stick with their focus/perspective for the duration of a scene/chapter. If you want to express multiple character’s reactions or points of view to a specific same scene (like say a team of detectives coming onto a murder scene) and if it makes sense to do so, you can write the scenes same but different as each character will have their own take on what they saw/perceived/when they entered/exited the scene - but each character that you’re writing about will have a separate section, separated by punctuation marks, above and below the change of perspective. However, that can easily come across as too repetitive for the reader. Might be best to put that in a notes page each scene of how each sees the same scene - because you as the audience can visualise the characters as being there, when they arrived and what they observed. When you write the scene, write it from one character’s point of view, but as you have the other characters interacting with them, they can comment on what they saw observed, contributing to the overall pieces of information, without repetition, unless it contradicts or adds to a specific point being made.

E) Age correlateable. By which I mean, if someone’s going to write about established characters that are in their 40s, 50s, etc., their life experiences, maturity, have them act/respond to each other as such. I have read stories - or rather attempted to - but the mental maturity of the author was showing through characters in their 40s, 50s, and it was obvious the writer hasn’t grasped that maturity of the characters. Listen to the character’s voices (what they’re saying, how they’re saying, even what they’re not saying but expressing visually) you’re writing about. This really comes out when writing arguments and sex scenes, btw.

F) Physical/mental characteristics: If a character has an illness or physical disability, or like affecting joints or paralysed limbs, amputations, or anything that affects movement, be aware of that, esp if writing a sex scene (a whole other rabbit hole of bad writing exists there, see next item). If in an argument, you’re trying to express the character throwing something in anger, like a mug/glass, etc., for example, and the character has an injured/disabled arm, their strength to throw is going to be limited. Show the character’s frustration that the action they wanted had less effect at releasing that anger/frustration. If the character has a visual (partial or full blindness) or auditory disability (eg. hard of hearing, deafness in one or both ears, over-sensitive to sound/volume), take that into account. Esp in arguments, if one of the people in the scene has a tendency to mumble, they may not be understood as words run together are not easily decipherable either by sound or lip reading. Mental health /illness (eg PTSD /complex PTSD [cPTSD], depression, anxiety affects physical health responses. If the characters have mental health disorders, be aware and maintain that continuity through the story. Don’t need to mention it all the time but be aware it can affect movement/physical responses, behaviour. And unless you’re House, you don’t need to include every odd, weird, very rare symptom he seems to need to diagnose something for the character 😂 .

G) Sex scenes: some are done so well that it’s seamless and flows well with the other parts of the story, where the intimacy blends well. Others, very much no so. Unless it’s a specifically written PWP (plot, what plot) story, and those can work when written well. Trust me, I’ve read otherwise well-written stories ruined by a sex scene that reads like a bad porn with characters that otherwise had physical limitation(s) in the rest of the story but were suddenly able to pull off manoeuvres of someone 20 years younger and fully able-bodied. Like someone just tacked on an explicit sex scene on that didn’t mesh with the story as if they were two completely different people that happened to have the same names as the ones in the rest of the story.

H) Continuity. Whether your story is short or long, be aware of where your characters are/what they’re doing. Having a sense of timing. Helpful to have a notepad (digital or paper) sometimes to keep track of movement. They can’t be in two concurrent scenes at the same time. Passing off information between the characters; don’t assume one character (or group of characters) knows what the other(s) are doing, unless they are in contact with each other (visual/audio/both/text). Cause/effect. Action/reaction. There may be delayed effects or reactions (over scenes/chapters), but reference them back to the original cause or action and why there was a delay. For example, somebody witnesses or experiences a tragedy, war, fire, sexual assault, accident, or other traumatic experience, and it triggers a delayed emotional or physical response hours, days, months, years later. The character may or may not be able to explain to their partner, colleague, friend what it was that caused effect/reaction. Similarly, following onto earlier example of a thrown glass/mug/vase, if it smashes there could be subsequent injury from ceramic/glass/etc. like a cut finger/palm of hand if picking up the pieces/cleaning the mess. So maybe it requires a bandage or wrap. Continuity would include making further grasping of things discomforting or painful, maybe a comment from another person inquiring what happened later on if they’re noticing a bandage that wasn’t there the last time they saw them.

I) Alternate Universe stories. I don’t mind AUs when done right - so that even if the characters are placed in a different setting, their general personality traits are very recognizable. I’ve read quite a few that nail this perfectly. Others, not so much. When it works, it works. Otherwise it’s just slapping familiar names onto original fic just to get more eyes on a story.

[littlesystems]

For the people who are out there “fighting the good fight” and “trying to make fandom a better place,” I have two important questions for you:

1. Is the author dead? x

2. Is your baby in the bathwater? x

What do I mean by those things? Let’s start with #1. The Death of the Author is a type of literary criticism, the extreme cliff notes version of which is that art exists outside of the creator’s life, personal background, and even intentions. I’m using it slightly differently than Barthes intended, but that’s okay, because the author is dead and I’m interpreting his work through my own lens.

In fandom, the author is dead. In fact, the author was never alive in the first place, not really. The author has only ever been the idea of a person, because unlike published fiction, the only thing we know about a fanfic author is that which they choose to tell us about themselves.

Why is that important?

Because it might not be true. Hell, that happens in real life with published authors, who have SSN’s on file with their publishers, who pay taxes on the works they create and have researchable pasts. If the author of A Million Little Pieces could fake everything, why can’t I? Why can’t you? Why can’t the writer of your favorite fic in the whole wide world?

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: “you can only write about [sensitive subject] if [sensitive subject] has happened to you personally, otherwise you’re a disgusting monster that deserves to die!!” Or maybe “you can only write [x racial or ethnic group] characters if you’re [x racial or ethnic group] otherwise you’re racist/fetishizing/colonizing!”

You can play this game with any sensitive subject you can come up with. I’ve seen them all before, on a sliding scale of slightly chastising to literal death threats.

Now, I could tell you that I’m a white-passing Latina whose grandmother was an anchor baby. I could tell you that I speak only English because my family never taught me to speak Spanish, something which I’ve been told is common in the Cuban community, though I only know my own lived experience. I could tell you that I’m mostly neurotypical. I could tell you that I’m covered in surgical scars. I could tell you lots of things.

Are any of these true? Maybe! I could tell you that my brother has severe mental development problems, so uncommon that they’ve never been properly diagnosed, and that he will live the rest of his life in a group home with 24-hour care. Is that true? Am I allowed to write about families struggling with America’s piss-poor services for the handicapped now?

Am I allowed to write about being Cuban? After all, I did just say that I’m Cuban. But is it true? Can I instead write a character that’s Panamanian? Maybe I really am Panamanian, not Cuban. Maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m neither. Maybe I’m really French Canadian. Should we require people to post regular selfies? I can’t count the number of times I’ve had someone come up to me speaking Arabic, and I’ve been told that I look Syrian. What’s stopping me from making a blog that claims that I am Syrian? Can you even really tell someone’s race and ethnicity from a photo?

Am I allowed to write about being a teenager? Am I allowed to write about being a college student? Am I allowed to write about being an “adulty” adult? Can I write a character who’s 40? 50? 60? How old am I?

All of this is to say: you can’t base what someone is or is not “allowed” to write about on a background that may or may not be real. No matter how good your intentions. And I get it - this usually comes from a place of well-meaning. You’re trying to protect marginalized groups by stopping privileged people from trampling all over experiences that they haven’t suffered. I get that. It’s a very noble thought. But you can’t require a background check for every fic that you don’t like.

If you say “you can only write about rape if you’re a rape victim,” then one of three things will happen:

Real survivors will have to supply intimate details of their own violations to prevent harassment

Real survivors will refuse to engage and will then have to deal with death threats and people telling them to kill themselves for daring to write about their own experiences

People who aren’t survivors will say “yeah sure this happened to me” just to get people to shut up

Has that helped anyone? I mean really - anyone??

So now let’s get to point #2: is your baby in the bathwater?

If your intention is to protect marginalized people from being trampled upon, stop and assess if your boot is the one that’s now stamping on their face. Find your baby! Is your baby in the bathwater? Which is to say: find the goal that you’re advocating for. Now assess. Are you making the problem worse for the people you’re trying to protect? Does that rape victim really feel better, now that you’ve harassed and stalked them in the name of making rape victims feel safe?

Let’s say you read a fic that contains explicit sex between a 16 year old and a 17 year old. Is this okay? Would it be okay if the writer was 15? 16? 17? Should teenagers be barred from writing about their own lives, and should teenagers be banned from exploring sexuality in a fictional bubble, instead of hookup culture? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about their experiences as a teenager? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about being raped at a party as a teenager? Is it okay for a 30 year old? How about a 40 year old? Is it okay so long as it isn’t titillating? Is it okay if taking control of the narrative allows the writer to re-conceptualize their trauma as something they have control over? Is it okay if their therapist told them that writing is a safe creative outlet?

Is your author dead?

Is your baby in the bathwater?

Now let’s take a hardline approach: no fanfiction with characters who are under 18 years old. None. Is the 16 year old who really loves Harry Potter and wants to read/write about characters their own age better off? Should they be banned from writing? Should they be forced to exclusively read and write (adult) experiences that they haven’t lived? Will they write about teens anyway? Should they have to share it in secret? Should 16 year olds be ashamed of themselves? Should we just throw in with the evangelicals and say that the only answer is abstinence, both real and fictional?

Let’s say that no rape is allowed in fiction, at all. None. What happens to all the hurt/comfort fics where a character is raped and then receives the support and love that they deserve, slowly heal, and by the end have found themselves again? Are you helping rape victims by banning these stories? Are you helping rape victims by stripping their agency away, by telling them that their wants and their consent doesn’t matter?

Is your baby in the bathwater?

Fandom is currently being split in two: on one side, the people who want to make fandom a “safer” place by any means necessary, even if that means throwing out all of the marginalized groups they say they want to protect - and on the other, people who are saying “if you throw out that bathwater, you’re throwing the baby out too.”

The whole point of fandom is to be able to explore all kinds of ideas from the safety and comfort of a computer screen. You can read/write things that fascinate you, disgust you, titillate you, or make your heart feel warm. This is true of all fiction. People who want to read about rape and incest and extreme violence and torture can go pick up a copy of Game of Thrones from the bookstore whenever they want. Sanitizing fandom just means holding a community of people who are primarily not male, not straight, not cis, or some combination of those three, to higher and stricter standards than straight white cis male authors and creators all over the world.

There is nothing you can find on AO3 that you can’t find in a bookstore. Any teenager can go check out Lolita, or ASOIAF, or Flowers in the Attic, or Stephen King's It, or Speak, or hundreds of other books that have adult themes or gratuitous violence or graphic sex. The difference is that AO3 has warnings and tags and allows people to interact only with the types of work that they want to, and allows people to curate their experiences.

Are these themes eligible to be explored, but only in the setting of something produced/published? Books, movies, television, studio art, music - all of these fields have huge barriers to entry, and they’re largely controlled by wealthy cishet white men. Is it better to say that only those who have the right connections to “make it” in these industries should be allowed to explore violence or sexuality or any other so-called “adult” theme?

Does banning women from writing MLM erotica make fan culture a better place?

Does banning queer people from writing about queer experiences make fan culture a better place?

Is M/M fic okay, but only if the author is male? What if he’s a trans man? What if they’re NB? Who should get to draw those lines? Should TERFs get a vote? What if the author is a woman who feels more comfortable writing from a male character’s perspective because she’s grown up with male stories her whole life, or because she identifies more with male characters? What about all the trans men who discovered themselves, in part, by writing fanfiction, and realized that their desires to write male characters stemmed from something they hadn’t yet realized about themselves?

How can we ever be sure that the author is who they say they are?

Who is allowed to write these stories? How do we enforce it?

Is it better for none of these stories to ever exist at all?

Have you killed your author?

Have you thrown out your baby with the bathwater?