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#and she never actually comes to terms with her gender
badathumanemotions · 2 days
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Needy
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Elle Greenaway x Gender Neutral Reader
MDNI Master List Category: Smut CW: Afab Reader, Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Dom/Sub, Vibrator, Mirror Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Aftercare. WC: 4,213 You've been needy all day for Elle, following her around like a lost puppy. Until finally she takes pity on you. (Not Proof Read)
You've been trailing behind Elle all day, your eyes fixed on her every move. Currently she's engrossed in her book, her fingers gently holding the book open, her eyes scanning the words. You wish those eyes would look at you, even for a moment, to acknowledge the silent plea you've been sending her way. Your body craves her touch, a craving that's been growing stronger as the day went on.
You hover at the edge of the couch, unsure if you should disturb her. It's like you're a lost puppy, hoping she'll drop her book and come over to pet you, to give you the attention you so desperately need. You've tried to be patient, to let her have her space, but it's becoming increasingly difficult.
Elle's eyes flick up from the pages, meeting yours briefly before returning to her book. She knows. She's been watching you, observing your restlessness, the way you've been trying to get her attention without actually saying a word. It's a silent dance the two of you have been doing all day, and she's enjoying it.
But now, as the shadows grow longer with the setting sun, she senses the urgency in your gaze. She sets her book down, creating the sound of pages slapping together. "You've been needy today" she says. She doesn't make it a question, but you nod anyway.
Elle motions for you to come over to her with a crook of her finger, the gesture stirring something in you. You feel your heart quicken, the anticipation of what's to come pulsing through your veins. You obey without a second thought, crossing the room to stand in front of her.
"On your knees," she says firmly. You drop to your knees, looking up at her with wide eyes that beg for more. She smiles, a knowing smile that tells you she's going to give you what you want, but on her terms.
Her hand reaches out to stroke your cheek, the softness of her touch setting your skin on fire. You lean into it, savouring the sensation, your eyes fluttering shut.
"What do you need, baby?" she asks. The question hangs in the air, loaded with meaning, a silent invitation for you to open up, to tell her exactly what it is that you crave.
You suddenly turn shy, not answering. Your cheeks flush and you drop your gaze to the floor. You're not used to being so forward, but today you're desperate for her.
Elle wasn't having it. She cups your chin, tilts your head back up to meet her gaze. "Tell me," her voice a command.
You swallow hard, trying to find the words to express the desire that's been consuming you. "I… I want to taste you," you finally manage to say, your voice barely a whisper.
Elle's smile widens, a hint of amusement sparkling in her eyes. "And why should I let you?" she challenges. Enjoying the power play, how you squirm under her scrutiny.
You promise to be good, to do anything she asks, to give her what she wants in return. The words spill out of your mouth, earnest and hopeful. You've never felt so vulnerable, but with her, it's safe to be this exposed.
Elle's eyes narrow slightly, considering your proposal. She leans back into the couch, watching you intently. "Anything?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow.
You nod fervently, your eyes steady on hers. "Anything," you reaffirm.
With a smirk, Elle says, "That's a dangerous thing to promise, sweetheart," before commanding you to strip.
You stand up, your hands shaking slightly as you pull your shirt over your head, you drop it to the floor, leaving you topless and in jeans. She watches you, her eyes raking over your body, as you undo the button and slide the zipper down. Your legs feel wobbly as you push your jeans down your thighs, stepping out of them and kicking them aside. Your panties are the last to go, leaving you bare before her.
She doesn't say anything, just continues to watch as you get onto your knees. You know what she wants, what she expects.
Elle rises from the couch with the grace of a panther, her movements slow and deliberate. She takes a step closer to you, and you can feel the heat radiating from her body. She places a hand on your shoulder, her fingers digging in just enough to make you aware of her strength, of the power she holds in this moment.
With the other hand, she unbuttons her pants and slides them down her long, toned legs. You watch, entranced, as she steps out of them, leaving herself in just a pair of panties and a white tank top.
Elle sits back down on the couch, spreading her legs open in a gesture that leaves no room for doubt. She's giving you access, inviting you in. You can see the dampness on her underwear, a sign of her arousal. Your mouth waters at the sight.
Without wasting another moment, you dive in, pressing your face between her thighs. The fabric of her panties is soft against your skin, but it's the scent of her, musky and sweet, that makes you go wild. You begin licking her through the fabric.
Even with the barrier of her underwear, you're more determined than ever to give her pleasure. You run your tongue along the seam, feeling her heat, her legs quiver slightly. You know she's enjoying it, but you want more. You want to taste her, to hear her moan, to feel her shudder with every touch of your mouth.
Summoning your courage, you gently push the fabric aside with your thumb. The skin beneath is hot and slick with anticipation. You hesitate for a moment, waiting for her reaction. When she doesn't protest, you take it as your cue. Your tongue darts out, tasting her for the first time.
You hmm happily as you lick and suck, her desire coating your mouth. Your eyes close in pleasure as you explore her folds, your nose bumping into the warmth of her sex. Her hand finds your hair, guiding you, urging you deeper.
Elle's breath hitches, and she lets out a low moan that vibrates through you, making your own arousal spike. You can feel yourself becoming pussy drunk, intoxicated by her taste, her scent, her response. Your own wetness begins to drip down your thighs as you eagerly devour her.
Her hips start to rock slightly, guiding your movements, setting the rhythm. You follow her lead, sucking harder, your tongue flicking and swirling around her clit. The sound of your wet mouth on her flesh fills the room, punctuated by her gasps and whimpers.
With both hands, you grip her hips firmly, your nails digging into her skin. The pressure you apply leaves faint white lines that stand out against her tanned skin. You can feel her muscles tighten beneath your fingers as she pushes against your face, grinding into your mouth.
You switch between quick, delicate kitten licks and sloppy, obscene slurping, your tongue swirling around her clit in a dance of pleasure. You're lost in lust, the only thing that matters is her satisfaction.
Elle's hand tightens in your hair, pulling you closer as she nears her climax. Her thighs clench around your head, trapping you in a vice. You don't mind; you crave it, the feeling of her body responding to your every touch.
When she finally cums, it's with a guttural moan that fills the room. Her body shakes, her hips bucking up to meet your mouth as she rides the wave of pleasure. But even as her orgasm subsides, you can't stop. You're lost in the taste of her.
Elle's grip on your hair loosens, and she pants heavily, her chest rising and falling. She's sensitive now, but you're relentless. You keep licking, savouring her taste. She squirms under you, her legs twitching.
You can feel her starting to build again, her breath catching. She whispers, "Fuck, don't stop," and you don't. Your tongue swirls around her clit, pressing firmly before moving down to taste her deeper. You're insatiable, driven by a hunger that's only grown with each of her moans.
Her legs tighten around your head, her nails scratching at your back as you lick and suck, your tongue delving into her wetness. The sound of her breathing changes, becomes ragged, her body arching off the couch. She's close, so close, and you want to push her over the edge again.
Your tongue works in tandem with your fingers, slipping inside her, feeling her clench around you. The walls of her pussy pulse with each thrust, her juices coating your hand. You feel her orgasm building, the way her muscles tense, the way her breath turns into panting.
Elle's hands are in your hair, guiding you, her nails scraping at your scalp. It's a delicious kind of pain that only adds to the intensity of the moment. You can feel her getting closer, her hips jerking against your face, her moans growing louder.
You love when she grinds her hips against your mouth, when she takes her pleasure from you so unabashedly. It's a power play and you're all too happy to be the one serving her needs. Her legs tense around you, trapping you in place as she uses your mouth for her own pleasure.
Her moans become more erratic, her breathing hitches, and you know she's close. With a final, guttural cry, she comes again, her body shaking with the force of her climax. You don't stop, though, you keep licking and sucking, her pleasure your own. Your own pussy is throbbing now, begging for attention, but you ignore it, focusing solely on her.
Elle's grip on your hair loosens, and she slumps back into the couch, panting. But you're not done yet. You keep going, your tongue relentless as it laps at her clit, feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm quiver through her. She's so sensitive now, every touch sends a new ripple of pleasure through her body.
Her hands come up to cover her face, muffling the sounds she makes. You can feel her thighs quiver against your cheeks, and you know she's trying to hold back. But you won't let her. You want to hear her scream, to feel her shake with pleasure.
Your tongue doesn't stop, it keeps moving in the same pattern, the one that brought her to the brink before. You're relentless, your mouth working tirelessly as you push her towards another climax.
Elle's hips jerk upward, her hands now gripping the couch cushions. She's trying to find purchase, trying to anchor herself as the waves of pleasure threaten to overwhelm her. But you won't let her escape. Your hands hold her hips in place, keeping her open to your relentless mouth.
The familiarity of the sensation sends her spiralling, her body responding instinctively. You feel her building again, her muscles tightening around your fingers. She's so close, and you can't help but feel a sense of pride at how quickly you've brought her to this point.
With one final, hard suck, her body tenses and she cums again, her pussy contracting around your fingers, juices spilling onto your hand. You drink her in, savouring every drop, her taste like a drug you can't get enough of.
Elle's legs fall apart, and you pull away, panting, your face glistening with her arousal. You look up at her, and she's watching you with hooded eyes, her chest heaving. "Good girl," she murmurs.
You lean back on your heels, feeling the warmth of your own need between your legs. "Elle," you breathe, "I need you now."
Her eyes narrow. "You're lucky I love that talented mouth of yours," she says. "Or else I'd punish you for being so greedy."
You whine slightly, your cheeks reddening. You know she's playing with you, but the words send a thrill through your body. "Please, Elle," you beg. "I need you."
Elle gives you a look that makes your insides flutter. "Go," she says. "Get on the bed. On your knees. And wait for me."
You scurry to the bedroom, your heart racing with excitement. You crawl onto the bed, knees sinking into the soft mattress, and position yourself at the edge.
Elle's command echoes in your mind: "Wait for me." It's torture, but you obey, your hands resting on your thighs, resisting the urge to slide between your legs.
Elle walks into the bedroom, her shirt now gone, revealing a simple black bra that compliments her damp panties. Her nipples are hard points pushing against the fabric, and her skin glows from the heat of her arousal. She's a vision of desire, and you can't help but stare.
Her eyes lock onto yours, and she smirks, then crosses the room to the dresser. She opens the top drawer, and you hold your breath. Your eyes widen as she pulls out a magic wand vibrator, the sight of it making your clit throb.
Elle saunters over to the bed, dropping it onto the mattress before walking to the free-standing mirror in the corner of the room. She positions it so that it reflects the entirety of the bed, allowing you to see every inch of yourself as she takes you apart.
Her gaze meets yours in the reflection as she orders you off your knees and into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. The authority in her voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you do as you're told. She settles in behind you, her hands on your shoulders, guiding you lean against her.
Her legs tangle with yours, forcing them apart, exposing your dripping pussy to the cool air of the room. You lean back into her, feeling her warmth, her breath on your neck as she presses kisses below your ear. Her thighs are firm, keeping you open, vulnerable to whatever she has in store.
"Look," she whispers in your ear, her breath hot against your skin. "Look at how desperate you are." Her hand cups your mound, her thumb circling your clit lazily. Your eyes widen as you watch yourself in the reflection, your cheeks reddening.
Elle's fingers dip lower, teasing your wet folds. They slide through your slickness with ease, and you can't help but gasp at the sensation. She takes her time, exploring every inch of you with gentle strokes that make you squirm.
Her touch is light, maddening, as she traces your slit from bottom to top, never quite touching your clit, which is now swollen and begging for attention. You can feel her watching you in the mirror, her eyes taking in every twitch and quiver of your body.
Elle brings her wet fingers up your stomach, painting a path of your desire on your skin. You hold your breath as she reaches your chest, your heart pounding in anticipation. She circles one of your nipples, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. You arch into her touch, silently begging for more.
She picks up the magic wand vibrator from the bed. You watch in the mirror as she flicks it on to the lowest setting, the head buzzing gently. She brings it to your chest, and you jump at the sudden sensation. She smirks, then moves it down your torso, the vibrations leaving trail of tingles in it's wake.
Elle traces the toy around your navel, watching as your stomach muscles jump. She teases the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to your pussy, but never quite touching it. You can feel the tension building, the anticipation making your legs shake.
Her eyes watch carefully as she drags the vibrator up the insides of your thighs, each pass bringing it closer to where you need it most. You're panting now, your chest heaving with each shallow breath. She knows exactly what she's doing, and she's enjoying every second of it.
Elle finally holds the vibrator to your clit, and you jolt at the intense sensation. It's like lightning directly to your core, and you can't help the loud moan that escapes your lips. She presses it harder, holding you steady as your body tries to buck away from the pleasure.
You watch in the mirror as her hand works the vibrator, moving it in slow, deliberate strokes. Each pass sends a shiver through your body, your pussy clenching in response. She increases the speed, the buzzing growing louder. The vibrations travel through your entire being, setting your nerves alight.
And then she whispers "You're such a needy little slut, aren't you?". You nod, unable to form coherent words, your eyes locked on the mirror.
Her breath tickles your neck as she says, "You love it when I make you beg, don't you?" Each word dripping with lust.
You whimper, nodding, unable to form words as she continues her sweet torment. "You're such a greedy little thing," she taunts. "Always so eager for more, so desperate for my touch."
The moment your eyes slide shut, her other hand comes up to grip your cheeks harshly. "Keep your eyes open," she commands. "Or I'll stop touching you."
Your eyes fly open, and you let out a whine of protest, but you obey. In the mirror, you can see the smug look on her face, the glint of victory in her eyes. She knows she has you, that you're under her spell.
"That's what I thought," she states. "Now, let's see how much of a greedy slut you really are." She increases the speed of the vibrator, and you can't help but moan louder, your body trembling with the effort of holding still.
The vibrations are intense, and your pussy is so sensitive now, each stroke sending pleasure through your body. You're so close, so fucking close. You can feel it building, the tension coiling.
And then, with a whine, it hits you. Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave, your body jerking and trembling from the force of it. Your eyes squeeze shut despite her command, but she doesn't stop. She keeps the vibrator pressing against your clit, making the sensation even more overwhelming.
"Eyes on the mirror," she orders, her voice firm. You force your eyes open, looking into the mirror. Your face is a mask of ecstasy, your mouth open in a silent scream. You can see your own eyes, glazed over with pleasure.
Elle cranks the vibrator up to its highest setting, and the buzzing turns into a high-pitched whine. You brace yourself for the intensity, but it's nothing compared to the pleasure that consumes you when she presses it back against your clit.
"Too much," you gasp out, your voice shaking. "Elle, it's too much." But even as you say the words, you arch into the sensation, your body begging for more. She doesn't ease up, instead, she uses her free hand to spread your folds, giving the vibrator better access.
Elle's voice is a dark chuckle in your ear. "Is it? Is it really, baby?" she mocks. "If you're going to act like a needy slut you're going to be treated like a needy slut." She emphasizes her point with a particularly hard press of the vibrator.
You can't argue with her. You can't even think straight. Your eyes are glued to the mirror, watching your pussy quiver with each pulse of the toy. It's mesmerizing, the way your body responds to her, the way you're spread open for her viewing pleasure.
All that comes out of your mouth are incoherent sounds of pleasure. Your cheeks are flushed, your eyes glazed with lust as you watch her manipulate your body. You're a moaning mess, unable to get an intelligible word out.
Elle's grip on the vibrator doesn't falter, stroking it up and down, hitting all the right spots. She's relentless, pushing you closer and closer to another peak. "Again," she whispers in your ear. "I want to see you come again."
Your body responds to her command, your pussy pulsing. You try to resist, but it's no use. The pleasure is too intense, too overwhelming. You feel your climax trigger, your muscles tightening, your breath coming in short gasps.
You feel a sharp smack on your clit. Your eyes fly open in shock and pain. In the mirror, you see Elle's hand come down again, slapping your pussy firmly. "I told you to keep your eyes open," she says, her voice stern. You hadn't even realized you closed your eyes.
The sting quickly turns to pleasure, and you bite your lip to keep from screaming. The vibrator is still pressed to your sensitive nub, the high setting making it feel like it's vibrating through your entire body. You can't help but push into it.
Elle's hand is steady, her eyes on the mirror, watching your every reaction. She's a master at reading your body, knowing exactly when you're about to break. You can feel the tension coiling again, tightening in your stomach. It's unbearable, the way she brings you to the brink and then pulls back, only to push you over again.
Then she bites down on the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. The pain is sharp, surprising, and you cry out, your body arching back into hers. It's a sensitive spot, one she knows drives you wild. The combination of pain and pleasure sends you spiralling, and you orgasm for the third time.
Your pussy clenches, your juices spilling onto the bed beneath you. The sheets are soaked, the fabric sticking to your skin. If you had the capacity for embarrassment, you'd be mortified, but right now all you can feel is the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you.
"Elle, I can't take anymore," you whine, your voice high and desperate. Your body is a live wire, each touch threatening to send you over the edge again. But she doesn't relent.
"You can, and you will," she whispers in your ear, the vibrations from the wand not missing a beat. The words resonate through your core, and you feel yourself submitting to her once more. You're hers to play with, to bring to climax as many times as she desires.
The next orgasm hits like a freight train, and with it come a series of smaller ones, like aftershocks. Each one more intense than the last, making your body convulse and quiver uncontrollably. You can't believe how sensitive you are, how much she's turned you into a quivering mess of pleasure.
Elle's voice is low and seductive in your ear, "One more, baby. Make it count." Her words echo in your mind as you struggle to hold on to reality. The vibrator is a constant, unyielding presence, bringing you closer and closer to the edge with every stroke.
Your eyes lock onto hers in the mirror, and you can see the challenge in them. You want to prove to her that you can take it, that you can handle whatever she gives you. The desire to please her is stronger than any discomfort.
With a final surge of willpower, you push back into the vibrator, riding the wave of pleasure as it crashes over you again. Your scream fills the room, a mix of pleasure and pain as you come for what is possibly the 7th time.
As your body goes limp, Elle finally pulls the vibrator away, leaving your clit throbbing and your legs shaking. You collapse against her, utterly exhausted. She wraps her arms around you, her chuckles vibrating against your back.
"Good little slut," she murmurs, her breath warm on your neck. The phantom buzz of the toy lingers, making your pussy twitch. You lean into her, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. She's so strong, so in control, and you can't help but feel completely owned by her.
Elle gently helps you up the bed, arranging the pillows so that you're propped up comfortably. Your limbs feel like jelly, but her touch is firm and sure, guiding you into place. You can't help but lean into her, craving the warmth and security she offers after that intense experience.
Her eyes soften as she looks at you, a hint of concern in her expression. "Are you okay?" she asks, her voice gentle. You nod, still trying to catch your breath, and she smiles before heading to grab supplies.
Elle returns with a warm, damp cloth, which she uses to gently wipe away the sweat and arousal from your thighs and pussy. She's careful not to cause any more stimulation, and her touch is soothing, almost maternal.
As she tends to you, you can't help but stare at her in awe. The way she moves with such confidence, the way she wields pleasure and pain so masterfully, it's intoxicating. You're struck by just how deeply you feel for her, how much you trust her to give you what you need.
When she's done cleaning you up, Elle leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, before finally capturing your lips. It's a gentle kiss, filled with affection, leaving you humming with content.
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boywifesammy · 1 year
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imagine repressed & closeted transfem dean who never figures it out. imagine the sheer amount of guilt, fear, self-hatred and disgust he’d feel at what he is. big, clunky, dangerous. he takes comfort in his power, but it makes him feel sick. when he looks into the mirror and sees his hard edges, his body feels like it’s trying to rip open from the inside, yet he has no idea why.
dean plays his father’s wife until he dies. he takes care of sam and raises him as if he’s his own son. he’s a housewife in everything but reality. he desperately wants family, desperately wants to nurture, but his body isn’t built for that.
he’s taught by john and the world that he has to be strong. he has to be a man. he can never show emotion, because it’ll only be a weakness, and weakness is deadly. dean can never have a family because his body is wrong and he can never love like a woman because he cannot be weak.
so dean holds tight to those little moments of female connection with sam and his father like a dirty secret. he lays in bed at night and pretends he doesn’t think about being softer and lovelier. he stares at himself in motel mirrors until it makes him sick. he builds muscle and crops his hair short because this thing inside of him terrifies the hell out of him and he has to do anything to keep it at bay.
women comment on his looks a lot. when he’s young, they call him pretty, beautiful, gorgeous. they compliment his soft green eyes and plush lips and spattering of freckles. secretly, dean loves it. it makes that thing inside of him flare up in joy, which is why he knows that this is dangerous, and not something to be indulged. he stays up at night obsessing. shaves every morning and runs his fingers over his soft cheeks, flutters his long eye lashes, tries to find the soft edges of his cheekbones.
this thing is slowly eating away at him. the closer he gets to it the more volatile he feels. he jerks off under the blankets with a hand over his mouth to stifle the gasping, whimpery sounds he makes. the sound of his own voice scares him. his throat chokes up when a guy hits on him and john gives him a glare. one time he puts a finger up his ass and comes so hard that he sees stars, not because of the stimulation, but just from the idea of being wet and slick and pliant between his legs.
dean loves women and it makes him feel sick to the very core. he wishes that he loved women in a normal way. instead, he sees their curvy bodies and an awful, disgusting mixture of greed-lust-jealousy rocks through him. it’s all a strange, roundabout way of wrecking himself, because it’s extremely easy to play the role they want him to play, but god if it doesn’t hurt like hell.
dean loves fucking women. he’s desperate in bed but he’s always sure to be gentle with his thrusts. it makes him feel less disgusting. he likes shoving his face into a chick’s pussy, eating her out until she’s dripping, or nuzzling into the crook of her neck as he fucks her wet cunt. he likes listening to their gasping whines and moans. the feeling of it all makes his teeth clench with guilt; her cunt on his dick, his strong thighs, the way she keeps moaning his name. but it’s so easy to pretend in moments like these.
dean puts his face into her hair, and smells her citrus shampoo as she wails out cries. he doesn’t imagine being her, but he focuses on her noises, on the softness of her body and the wetness of her pussy. he always cums silently, his entire body quivering and shaking, because he’s too scared of the noise that’d come out of his mouth if he opened it.
when rhonda hurley makes him wear her panties, he nearly throws up on her carpet from how hard his heart is beating. they’re silky on his dick. rhonda calls him pretty, beautiful, she strokes at his flaccid penis through the panties and kisses messy lines up his belly. dean is hard and shivering by the end of her teasing, leaking through the panties and flushed from head to toe.
rhonda is both the best fuck that dean ever has and his worst fears coming to life. she calls him good girl as he fucks her. it ends embarrassingly early. when dean cums, it’s with a gasping cry of her name and a girly little keen that haunts his nightmares. he doesn’t remember ever cumming so hard in his life. he shook with aftershocks for minutes after, dazed and disgusted with himself.
rhonda gives dean her number. he never calls her back. after dean leaves that town, he burns the panties and stops shaving his stubble so short. memories of rhonda make him angry. he sinks into hunting and drinks until he’s cross-eyed. dean takes solace in the horror of violence. he bathes himself in that disgust and he feels right at home in the middle of it.
sometimes, dean can’t sleep at night from how sick he feels. he tries to figure out why, but he can’t place the reason. it eats him up inside. makes him feel like a monster. he thinks that he may just be a disgusting freak of a man.
as dean gets older the comments about him getting pretty melt away. he knows he’s objectively extremely attractive, in a male model sort of way, but it doesn’t match up with the images in his head.
the thoughts get more and more humiliating as time goes on. he’s not a twink anymore and he can’t be fantasizing about being fem, but he can’t stop it. he stays up at night itching in his own skin, brutally aware that he’d look hideous and disgusting in anything girly. his body is too big and bulky. he’s a freak for being into that sort of thing.
dean eventually admits to himself that he might be a little gay. he keeps it on the dl, visits gay bars when they hit more liberal cities, and doesn’t ever repeat the same place. he likes being dressed up and bent over. he chalks it all up to a crossdressing fetish, and while that’s humiliating and sickening, it’s easier than having to deal with whatever it is that’s going on with him.
dean aches inside perpetually because he is flawed. he wants to hold his child in his arms and wear dresses and flirt shamelessly with men. he knows he’s a freak for it but he’s accepted that he’s going to perpetually live with this pain.
he gets older and older and the dysphoria gets so fucking bad that he can’t even look in the mirror anymore, but it doesn’t matter at this point. he’s completely disconnected himself from his body. he’s a sick, perverted freak in the body of a man and none of it feels right. he uses his body like a tool, a weapon, and he purposefully keeps it masculine and well-toned to push back any illusions that he’s anything but a man.
and sometimes, he’ll go to gay bars and let himself get railed to incoherence. he’ll drive three towns over while sam’s asleep and put on his makeup in an alleyway nearby. he always looks for men bigger than him. men who’ll call him pretty and beautiful and treat his ass like a cunt.
and if he’s lucky, maybe they’ll let some other words slip. maybe they’ll call him babygirl or darling or play with his pecs like tits as they pound him deep. and sometimes, if he’s really lucky, he’ll get to wear something pink and lacy. sheer panties. a bralet. stockings or a necklace.
he always cums in the first few minutes on those nights. he doesn’t mind being fucked until the other guy finishes, as long as he keeps calling him a good girl for taking it.
dean always throws up in the club bathroom afterwards. he spends hours wiping off all the makeup from his face and sleeps in the impala for the night. he gives himself another wipe the morning after and tells sam that he was out with a one night stand. it technically isn’t a lie.
one time, sam makes a joke about dean being a woman. he pushes. he calls him a pretty lady, and dean is horrified when his eyes wet a bit at it. he can’t take it. he starts the fight, but sam wins it. he pins dean down and starts to yell at him. then he sees that dean is crying. he isn’t making any noise or shaking, but his cheeks are wet.
don’t, is all he says. it hurts like hell to get out. sam seems confused, but he doesn’t question it. he doesn’t make the joke again. dean forgets about the whole thing and pretends he doesn’t feel the weird looks sam sends him sometimes.
dean dies like that, alone and angry, in a body that’s all hard edges and grief and hatred.
he’s the same in heaven. he can’t imagine being any other way. he doesn’t even know what he wants, what would make him happy. most days, he’s happy with driving his impala aimlessly, drinking while watching sunsets and tuning into the world around him. thinking, and thinking, and thinking. about rhonda hurley and her satin panties and his father and the soft, warm thing buried inside of him.
dean doesn’t know why he feels sick inside when he looks at himself, but he’s too broken to ever figure it out. the only thing that he knows is that he doesn’t feel guilt the same in heaven. that means that when he has those strange dreams of warm kisses, strong arms around his tiny waist, and the warm, beating heat of his child’s heart against his own pillowed chest, he can spend some time in bed in the morning trying to recollect the memories without hating himself for it.
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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kirishwima · 2 years
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my friend: yeah i believe non-binary isn't a thing and it's dumb and bs
me, non-binary: :) okay
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pleuvoire · 2 years
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my kurenai wataru gender hcs are kinda hard to pin down beyond “generally transfem” like i think post-canon once he’s settled down and figured some things out he goes on e for a couple years just to try it and eventually is like hmm not for me thank you but keeps wearing skirts and is like a gay guy who is also a lesbian but also is neither
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lilacsandlillies · 6 months
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I was going through the anti Jason Todd tag because I hate myself and want to understand where people who dislike him are coming from and one thing I kept seeing was annoyance at Jason fans who claim that Jason is female coded and realized that the term “female coded” might not be the best term to describe what we mean.
A female coded character in literature and media typically means a character that has no specified gender or otherwise does not have a gender but is obviously meant to be a stand in for a woman or female. Kind of like how Starfire has no specified race (due to being an alien) but is still obviously black coded based on the way she’s drawn and treated by the narrative.
This is slightly different than what we mean when saying that Jason is female coded. It’s not that Jason is literally supposed to be a stand in for a female character, it’s that the way a lot of characters treat him and a lot of the tropes used on him are things that usually saved for female characters, not big buff men like Jason.
To start with, being Robin is narratively (or at least was) very similar to being a woman in a story. Robin is a role made to complement Batman (who we all know is basically the ultimate male power fantasy). Robin’s role is to be an accessory to Batman. Robin can be smart, but not smarter than Batman. Robin can be strong, but not stronger than Batman. Hell, Robin is often kidnapped and used as a literal damsel in distress, a role often regulated for women as a whole.
What sets Jason apart from the other robins (except for Steph) in this regard is that they were allowed to be characters outside of Batman. Dick might not have been the “man” of the story when he’s with Bruce, but when he’s with the teen titans suddenly he’s the smart one who has all the answers. Jason’s Robin was never really allowed this.
Then we get to the most, controversial, part of Jason’s female coding. The fact the he was effectively fridged. Fridging is usually only referred to as frigding if it’s a female character, but Jason’s death checks pretty much all the other boxes needed. An incredibly brutal death that was more about Bruce’s feelings on it than Jason himself.
This is especially apparent when compared to the other Bat characters. For all the female coding, the only other Robin to actually be fridged was Steph (and we all know about the misogyny surrounding her death). Barbara was also kind of fridged during the killing Joke. The only female character to escape this is Cass (to my knowledge). When you look at it through this lens, the fact that the only other characters to be permanently damaged like this for Bruce’s story are female, it’s not hard to see where the idea that Jason is female coded comes from.
You can even find this in Jason’s origin story. Poor little orphan is saved by benevolent billionaire is a role usually saved for little girls, like in Annie.
Despite what you might think, this even continues after Jason’s revival. Jason is still used less as a character and more as a motivation for Bruce. He’s regularly called emotional and hysterical (terms usually used to refer to women).
Jason is first and foremost a victim. A role performed by women in most media. Men are expected to be stoic and “rise above” the things done to them as to not be victims, as continuously shown by the way characters like Nightwing are not allowed to be effected by the horrific things they go through. The fact that Jason is shown the be angry, and sad, and emotional, constantly, and the fact that he’s punished and vilified for it puts him in a place much more similar to a female character.
There’s a reason that so many Jason fans (that like him for a reason past “antihero with guns”) are female. For most characters, when you swap their genders there would be a pretty clear and big difference in the way their story takes place. If you swap Jason’s gender, the story takes place identically.
A lot of this is best shown in men’s reactions to Arkham Knight’s version of Jason. In that game, Jason is similarly angry and emotional, albeit for slightly different reasons. He is also still unmistakably a victim. You’d think the men playing would like him. After all he’s a big cool angsty guy with a lot of guns and muscles. Instead, a lot of men’s thought that he was whiny. That his feelings were annoying.
There’s also something to be said about how his autonomy is regularly undermined by Bruce (specifically in Gotham war) and how his decisions and feeling are constantly treated as if they’re worth less than Bruce’s, but that’s a discussion for another day.
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satzumosupremacy · 5 months
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Ignite The Spark
Male reader x Kazuha
Tags: Friends to lovers, Smut 8.1k words
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Friends—that’s what you and Kazuha would call each other. People around often get confused if you two were dating secretly, but in reality, she was just a friend who got along with you to the point of looking like a couple.
And if being friends with the opposite gender isn’t enough to raise an eyebrow by others, you knew the consequences, Kazuha did too. As a man, you couldn’t help but imagine a scenario of her being more than a friend. On the other hand, Kazuha had the same exact thought after years of knowing each you. Although nothing happens romantically, the presence of pride hindered both of you in stubborn ways.
You and Kazuha were prime examples of “right place, wrong time.”
After you transferred to another college for an opportunity that you couldn’t deny, the friendship between both of you slowly disappeared. As curious young adults, it would be a shame just to say the boring and basic goodbyes to each other. Just like how friendships form: thoughts and hobbies alike, her eyes craved more than a mere farewell. You didn’t want this friendship to burden the memories you and Kazuha made.
Both of you yearned for something. That something was in bed. A man and a woman together with the lights off, doors locked, curtains shut. Within a night in the same bed, clothes scattered and the bed creaking, the two of you yearned for this feeling, like you'd never see each other again. It’s a farewell, but a mere excuse. This won’t be the last time you see her. 
Morning brought an uncomfortable shift from friends to more than what both of you actually were. As she slept, her beautiful back was turned towards you while you were up and remembered every moment shared on her bed. She was naked under the blanket once your eyes caught her black bra hanging from the dresser and the hair tie. As you took a quick glimpse of her, Kazuha’s silky hair was a mess, all from the night.
Even as a man, you fantasized about what Kazuha would look like, until you did see her naked body and the goosebumps you felt all over her when your hands gently caressed her. Her back became irresistible to your kisses, while her curves and ass demanded more than a simple touch. Her body was deadly hot when all you ever saw was Kazuha with clothes on. This was the woman who you called a close friend, yet it’s far from the fact that you slept with her. 
Both of you crossed the line. Both of you can’t look back and change what happened. This was bound to happen between opposite genders that calls each other ‘friends.’
You found a treasure within the so-called friendship. The treasure? It was her body. Kazuha rarely wears revealing clothes at school. Neither did she care about showing herself off like the rest of the woman on campus. You're strucking gold—and it's like the end of the rainbow that anyone would search for. Actually, it's not her body that you love more than Kazuha herself. You respect Kazuha—her essence, her character. There's a bond between the two of you. A long-term friendship that isn't breakable at all, even if it bends or twist.
She didn’t regret being the one who asked first for some intimacy. You didn’t regret that night either. This was probably the last time you would physically be there for her, and only sense of regret was the bittersweet feeling of sleeping with a friend that was close to you, but at the end, it turned awkward. As young, curious adults, no one was to blame. 
Kazuha shared an apartment with her roommate, Sakura. The pair rented an apartment conveniently close to the college. Sakura wasn’t at home at the time when you and Kazuha’s hands were all over each other. Maybe Sakura did hear the bed creaking through the wall halfway through after coming back home. It’s something you didn’t want to asked out of embarrassment. 
The feelings you gave Kazuha were were unparalleled, when you respect her for being herself around you. She was, and was quiet at first, but when you talked to her more, Kazuha revealed herself to be ambitious and incredibly kind. You love that about her.
At times, she would share her troubles, and so would you. Yet, it became increasingly apparent that the dynamic of your friendship had changed. It's not like how it was. Both of you were maturing and going each other’s separate ways. Life past by quick considering how the two of you knew each other for years, and thinking back about the days you would often meet her. But neither of you forgot about each other.
Kazuha wasn’t so happy when Sakura had her own opportunities to venture out and left Kazuha alone in the apartment. Kazuha could barely manage the bills. Their relationship ended on good terms, but Kazuha was left all alone in the apartment. 
Kazuha was all over the place, from modeling to working as a barista and tutoring, the jobs couldn't meet her financial needs. Kazuha eventually found her opportunity after numerous jobs and became a ballet instructor. However, it's still not enough. The income she accumulated merely covered necessities and bills, leaving little room for her own interests and activities.
She frequently found herself seated in her living room, contemplating about your well-being. Like the relationship the two of you have right now, she hesitated to reach out, or ask for something. Kazuha revisited past text conversations with a bittersweet smile, reminiscing about the joy you both shared when your paths were closely intertwined.
Asking for money from her friends was like selling her pride. Despite her concerns, Kazuha maintained a smile and masked herself. She smiled if things didn’t go so smoothly, all hidden from everyone. The smile would fade away once she stepped into her apartment, enveloped by silence and solitude, the smile would turn to a frown. No one was there to comfort her. No one was there to eat across the table. Living alone already carried a sense of loneliness, but when Kazuha was going through this herself, it was rather a feeling of being hit rock-bottom. 
——
In the final year of college, you and your friends strolled around town, enjoying the sunshine as you window-shopped and explored. Amidst bustling alleyways lined with food stalls, engaging in multiple conversations and browsing vintage clothing shops, you felt content with your place in life. 
The college you switched to was just a ten-minute drive away. Some might consider it trivial when the two colleges are so close, but for you, the opportunity was invaluable. Despite intending to make time to meet Kazuha, you doubted she would be available, likely preoccupied with her own activities. Similarly, Kazuha likely held the same assumption about you. Regardless, both of you led independent lives, and the only thread connecting you was the fading bond of friendship.
Navigating the bustling marketplace alleys and indulging in the aroma of freshly cooked food from vendors, you spot another group of women approaching. Among them, it's Kazuha who catches your eye. Instantly, you feel the urge to reconnect with her as she savors a worry-free day.
"Where are you headed?" Your friend says after settling the bill to the vendor, while the rest of your friends glanced at you with curious expressions.
“Go without me. We can meet later,” you uttered hastily as you approached Kazuha, whose eyes widened at the sight of you after a prolonged absence. "Zuha!"
Kazuha found it unbelievable. Despite living only ten minutes apart, where the likelihood of encountering each other was high, this was the first time in a year. Either of you could have crossed paths while using transportation or walking in opposite directions on the sidewalk, yet remained unaware of each other's presence.
In silence, Kazuha stood, aware that some of her friends recognized you. "What a coincidence," one of them said. Throughout the interaction, Kazuha remained quiet, her mind racing with thoughts of what she wanted to talk with you.
“May I steal Kazuha away for some time?”
Then there's a moment of silence. It was supposed to be a girls' day out, and you suddenly became the antagonist, trying to take Kazuha away from her friends. "Fine... but bring her back home later. We'll give you two some alone time."
The sunlight reflected off Kazuha’s ocean eyes, illuminating a radiant smile that blossomed unexpectedly when your gazes locked. In that moment, Kazuha was oblivious to the world around her, indifferent to the passersby, solely focused on your presence before her.
"Zuha, how... um—." There was a moment of hesitation, a sense of unworthiness lingering, making it feel almost impossible to ask about her well-being. "How have you been?"
"Everything's fine. I'm glad to see you," Kazuha replied, making an effort to conceal her stress.
“Still living with Sakura? May we spend time together today? It’s been long since.”
"Actually, she got a job offer. So now I'm living alone," Kazuha murmurs, her lips pressing together shyly, her gaze drifting downward. "We should catch up with each other."
A faint, pleasant smile graces your lips as Kazuha steals a quick glance at you. "Have you eat yet, Zuha?"
“No,” she murmurs, strolling alongside you with both your hands brushing against each other, as if she yearned to grasp yours and never release them again. Since your departure, she realized that you’re the person she longed for at day’s end. Kazuha learned through the hard times that you were the one she desired, mistaken for a mere friendship and nothing more.
“I’ll take you to a place that we use to enjoy together, Zuha.”
Kazuha lets out a brief chuckle as she presumes it's the restaurant where you and she used to frequent after classes. Even though it's been a while since you last saw her, you can sense she's even shyer now. Yet, your emotions start lingering around her, like a faint spark awaiting ignition by Kazuha—a love destined to blossom.
Entering the restaurant, you settled directly across from Kazuha, the sunlight bathing her in its glow as you awaited the arrival of your orders from the waitress. Amidst the constant flow of people passing by, Kazuha appeared especially radiant in the sunlight, captivating your attention to the point where you couldn't look away. You found yourself dangerously drawn to the woman you call a friend.
"Zuha," you said, causing her to glance up from the menu. In truth, both of you had already memorized the menu, and she found herself unsure of how to act this time around. “You’re kinda beautiful today,” you lamely said, unable to accept her as a friend at this point. You’re trying to deny what your heart wanted.
From a friendship marked by naivety, to a new chapter in the present, the two of you weren't childish young adults anymore after a year. Despite spending considerable time together, pride runs in both of your veins, neither of you could muster the courage to acknowledge the unmistakable feelings that lingered. A crystal clear new beginning. 
"Thanks," Kazuha murmurs, cheeks glowing as she gaze to the menu. A stray strand of hair falls in front of Kazuha's face, and you gently brush it aside, tucking it behind her ear. Your gesture only adds to the awkwardness as she finds herself speechless and takes a glance around the restaurant. The look of the restaurant didn’t even change, but Kazuha didn’t know what to do when you’re the one sitting across. Before up to this point in time after a year, she was more talkative and would brag about her day to you right in this restaurant, but now, she couldn’t.
Her cheeks flush under the sun's rays, lips pressing against each other as she fights herself to repay a compliment. The atmosphere becomes silent, apart by the clinking of plates and nearby chatter, she's conscious of her growing feelings towards you.
“By the way, I’ll pay today. Don’t worry,” Kazuha says to break the silence. At the same time, all the stress she had been carrying seemed to slip from her mind. The genuine thoughts of her wanting to live with you becomes her topic of interest that she wanted to ask for months.  
“The man should pay, Zuha.”
"You paid last time," she says with a charming smile. The fact that Kazuha remembered such a minor detail from a year ago left you pleasantly surprised.
You sigh, your gaze drifting to her perfectly manicured nails. “I’m still paying. Let me make it up to you for not being there."
“I rather let you make it up with something else.”
“What is it, Zuha?”
The waitress unintentionally breaks the conversation. "Here's your food, enjoy! Don't hesitate to let me know if anything isn't right."
“Thank you,” Kazuha said, followed by you.
The plates shifted, placing your order in front of you, Kazuha's in front of her, and the appetizers to the side. "So, as I was saying... do you mind if I stay with you for the next few days?"
“What do you mean, Zuha?”
"Do you recall that moment we… well, you know, on the bed? It seems like we drifted apart a bit afterward, don't you think? But let's make it up. We were just young adults. We're not quite as young anymore."
“It’s only been a year, Zuha,” you laugh. “You’re welcome to stay with me. Even if our campus is ten minutes away, I’ll drive you there.”
“How long can I crash at your place?”
“Is something going on?” You said, exchanging conversations while eating.
“I’ll let you know when we get to your place.” Judging by her expression, it was evident that she was holding back from saying something.
"Zuha, I want you to know I'm here for you," you reassured her. Even being just ten minutes away, or the online conversations not being as frequent as they once were, you were determined not to lose her again, regretting the past mistake of not being there for Kazuha. "Let's finish our meal, and then I'll take you home with me."
“Weren’t you suppose to send me home at the end of the day?” Kazuha playfully smirks, mischievously laughing with her hands covering her mouth. It was evident that you missed the sight of her smile, yet this time, it undeniably stirred your heart. 
“Let your friends blame me, they won’t know it’s you who wanted to stay with me.”
"Your friends are waiting for you too, aren't they?" Kazuha questions. Her presence made you divert your attention entirely away from your friends and focusing it solely on her.
“I guess our group of friends will lose one person for today. What do you say?”
“You’re thinking dirty, aren’t you? A woman coming over, I think it’s clear to say that our friends think we’re up to no good.”
“Sounds like you’re the one thinking dirty, Zuha. I never said we’re sleeping together,” you said playfully, though you did miss the skin-to-skin contact with Kazuha. You couldn’t get her body out of your mind after that night with Kazuha.
She laughs, “see, I never said we’re sleeping together.”
“Finish up the food, Zuha,” you said out of disappointment as she caught you. It wasn’t like Kazuha didn’t wanted to fuck, when it’s clear that bringing a woman over would lead to the obvious.
———
As you walked home together along the sidewalks, admiring the clear blue skies overhead, your hand brushed gently against hers. Kazuha felt her heart race with excitement as your hands unexpectedly intertwined. Throughout the way home, neither of you exchanged words until you arrived inside your apartment. Yet, the unmistakable feeling between you two hinted at the blossoming love being shared.
Kazuha's eyes widened in appreciation the moment you opened the door to your apartment. Her gaze was sweeping across the inviting interior of the apartment. "This is a lovely place," she says, her soft voice filled with genuine admiration as she takes in the cozy ambiance. 
“It’s not bad. But I think you should let your friends know you’re going to be with me. Don’t keep them waiting, Zuha.”
“You should do the same.”
“I will. But to bring up that topic from earlier that you wanted to tell me about. What did you want to say?”
From a quick glance at Kazuha, she took a deep breath, standing still with her phone clasped tightly in both hands. Kazuha hesitated, thinking you would brush her off in some way. Despite not trying, she took her chances. “I can barely live by myself. Can I live here with you? I think we both feel lonely sometimes.” 
You observe her in silence as she gazes downward at the wooden floor, prepared for the possibility of rejection from the only person she feels comfortable asking without sacrificing her pride. You have no intention of denying her request, especially when it benefits both of you mutually. There was never a fight between you two. Althought there were times of disagreement, its solved quietly with understandment.
“Why didn’t you tell me this stuff that you’re going through?” You said, feeling frustrated for not being there to support her through her struggles. “How long have you been keeping this from me? Don’t you know that I’m only a phone call away?” 
“I-I couldn’t tell you out of the blue. I didn’t want to bother you.” Kazuha murmurs and brushes her hair while looking away. “You’re the only person who I can talk to about this.” 
You're devastated, as the anger you directed inward for neglecting to check up on her over the past year has transformed into feelings of guilt. Even if Kazuha wasn’t your girlfriend, both of you were just a simple text or phone call away from each other, and yet, an entire year passed without a single conversation. You would blame the college assignments that made you forget about Kazuha, but deep down, you know it would sound like an excuse.
"I'll let you stay, but what can you do to earn it? We can split the rent seventy-thirty. I'll pay the seventy, Zuha." You take her hand, and she looks back shyly. "Was it tough? It's my fault, Zuha."
“I’m not letting you pay more than half. I want to split it even. And like…we did it the first time, shouldn’t it be easier to do it the second?”
“Zuha…,” you said, bewildered in her sudden words, “this didn’t have to go that far.”
Kazuha sits right beside you, close enough to where you’re face to face. She gazes up and down at you with a seductive smile. "Isn't this what friends are for? Am I still your friend?"
“Tell your friends that you’re stay with me,” you said, eagerly wanting to change the topic before both your clothes become off this instant.
“I just want us to catch up. No one knew what we did.”
“Sakura probably heard us, Zuha."
Kazuha slowly puts her hand on your shoulders and down closer to your lap. You were just inches away from Kazuha's face. If there was one mistake you might make, it would be the temptation to kiss her as she gets closer and closer, tempting you to your very limits. "She did. Okay. It was embarrassing when we had this talk."
“Are you still talking to her?”
“I still do. But I never told her about the situation I’m in.” Then the naughtiest of her hands grip and caress your inner thighs.
“Zuha…” Your heart skips a beat.
“I know,” Kazuha looks to the side to avoid eye contact. You gently place your hands on Kazuha’s cheek to turn her back to you and stare at her quietly. Intentionally, she gets closer, tilting her head, and eyes closing to give you a quick kiss. “I missed you. I really do.”
Your adrenaline starts to rush at how she’s seducing you for what’s obvious. Neither had you thought this encounter would be end up this way as you kiss Kazuha from her lips to her neck. The little, cute moans she made were nostalgic for the first time you slept with her. Kazuha’s warm breaths coat your skin, and the gentle touches you felt on your back from her hands were warm. Both of you were fighting for each other's lips. 
Despite the small romance, her hands got naughty and gently squeezes to your cock that’s under your clothes. Kazuha teases you, squeezing, stroking it in the most passionate ways that got you groaning by what she’s doing.
“Someone’s hard. Really hard,” Kazuha said, smirking and looking down at what’s waiting for her as she takes heavy breaths. Kazuha gulps and takes a quick glance outside the window, “it’s getting late, we have classes tomorrow. But let’s finish what we started.”
“Is this how we should make it up, Zuha?” You groaned, missing her soft hands on your cock.
Kazuha chuckles, the cute little distinct laughs she made only got you immersed in this feeling for her. "You need this. I need this. For old times sake."
You lifted her shirt off as it’s thrown out of the way for you to kiss her tits hidden beneath her bra. Kazuha lifts your shirt off, and the aggressive passion begins to bloom. “Zuha, let’s put our pride to the side.” 
“I want you so bad. Don't you know how much I miss you?" Kazuha says, heavily breathing like she waited for this moment, season after season. She gets off and on her knees to quickly pull your pants down, “how about I get a taste? We can do something on the bed tomorrow.” As you two look each other in the eye, she was full of romance, which you can see the sincerity in those beautiful eyes of hers as Kazuha played it off mischievously.
“The sun is going down, Zuha. Don’t just wait for an answer.”
“How messy do you want to see me?"
You lean closer to her and pull off her hair tie, “It’s hotter when your hair sticks to your mouth, Zuha.”
“So naughty of you,” she smirks and licks the tip of your cock with a smile after. “In my mouth or on my face?”
“In, Zuha. Let’s not make a mess.” It was an excuse when you wanted her to be sucking you off for the whole time. Talking was just the troubling part and you weren’t for the talks. “You’re teasing me, Zuha. Let's not waste any more time."
“What’s the fun without-” and she stopped questioning. It would be best if she started sucking you off instead of wasting more time.
“Zuha,” you groaned, heavily breathing in and out as she bobbed her head slowly. Once you look down at her, Kazuha was glaring back at you with a smile turning into a smirk. “Kazuha.” The wet gags she made while sucking you off were not so innocent at all. You’re enjoying this moment, the way her tongue swirls around and under the tip of your cock, the sensational waves of pleasure that you couldn’t help but grip onto her hair made you moan her name as she starts to deep throat you. "Zuha, just like that."
Even as the sun starts to set slowly, shadows cast into the living room with the windows clearly opened for anyone lucky enough to see Kazuha sucking you off. The beauty she holds on you, slick and silky hair, manicured nails, her angel-like voice, and a well intelligent woman—Kazuha sure did get your feelings involved this time around. She wasn’t someone you’ll call a friend anymore.
The way she sucked you off felt like your breath was being taken, downright dangerously when you’re trying to not cum. But at the same time, the thought of cumming inside Kazuha’s mouth is always a never-ending good feeling, and there’s no way she wouldn’t love your cock throbbing in her mouth for a warm treat she's getting.
Kazuha’s mouth was always sinister, way to seductive whenever the timing was right. If that wasn’t enough, Kazuha’s innocence is another thing that you love about her, but when her warm mouth wraps around your cock, your mind becomes endlessly wanting more.
“Kazuha,” you kept groaning. “Kazuha,” you grunted, teeth clenching. There was something this time that she found more attractive—you calling her name in the most seductive way. 
She pulls off and brushes her lip across with her thumb. Yet, Kazuha squeezes your cock, jerking it slowly while looking right in your eyes, “don’t cum yet," Kazuha smiles.
“You’re doing it so god damn good.”
“It’s that a compliment?” Kazuha laughs, and you still find Kazuha’s smile so attractive as she teases your tip with her thumb.
“Enough—” your airway cuts you off, unable to finish what you wanted to say as her lips press against your tip, “talking.”
Her tongue licks the bottom side of your cock up to the tip, and you stared at her smiling right back at you when she knew you’re enjoying it to the fullest. Then, Kazuha spits on your cock, with the messy strands of saliva dripping down to your balls. It wasn’t new where she would go next—down to suck on your balls. Her hands become covered in her own saliva and your pre-cum as she sucks on your balls with your cock in her soft-warm hands.
“I know you’re cumming any minute now,” Kazuha murmurs.
“In your mouth, Zuha,” you said quickly.
She didn’t care if the blowjob wasn’t thirty minutes, but seeing you happy was all she ever wanted in the first place. Neither could Kazuha wait any longer and pushes herself deeper onto your cock. That sinister mouth of hers made you love her even more when you felt the back of her throat.
You held onto her nape, groaning all the pleasures as Kazuha bobbed her head up and down while your cock starts to pulsate, and at last, cum in her mouth. Kazuha stops bobbing and glares at you cumming and panting. “Kazuha,” you groan her name.
You felt her swallowing every load, as much as she can get out of you for tonight. Your hands were still pinning Kazuha in, and you didn’t plan on freeing her, not just yet, until you’re more than satisfied. Kazuha slowly traces your thighs, and the glare she gave you was such an act of seduction.
Kazuha pulls off your cock once you let her, strays of her hair and the evidence of your cum were all over her mouth to her lips. She licks her lips after cleaning her own mess. “So, guess we should just fuck after coming home tomorrow?”
You didn’t mind skipping class tomorrow, but then you would have to worry about Kazuha if she wasn’t willing to be in the same boat. “I’ll pick you up after classes tomorrow?”
“Fair enough,” she laughs, “how should we sleep? Together?”
“Why are you asking that? This isnt our first. My bed is for two."
She kisses your cock, “well, it sounds like some kind of confession.”
And it was when you couldn’t muster up the courage with the weight of pride on your back. “Zuha, tell your friends that you’re with me.” You grab your phone to text your friends after putting your pants on. “Let’s go to bed. Get a good night sleep.”
Kazuha follows right behind you like nothing happened minutes ago, when you saw the different side of her. Not the nerdy, beautiful, and quiet girl, but the horny Kazuha.
“Hey,” she clears her throat, “got a toothbrush for me? Let's make a trip to my place early tommorrow and get some of my belongings."
“I have an extra one in the cabinet,” you pointed at the bathroom that was opened. “Need to shower too? I have extra towels, although you like morning showers, Zuha.”
She wouldn't anticipate you knowing her preferences, and when she knows that you know the smallest details about her, Kazuha blushes and shyly looks down with a smirk. "Just admit you missed me or something," she murmurs.
“I missed you, Kazuha,” you said. Kazuha wasn’t expecting that, but she thought that you would tease her instead. There wasn’t a need to say her name that way, when you call her by her nickname more often.
“I-I’ll be back and we can take turns using the bathroom.”
“Brush our teeth together. Think we obviously know the showers won’t be alone anymore. The bed is less lonely when you’re here now, Zuha.” Again, there wasn’t no need to tease Kazuha, but it was a sly confession.
“The dining table wouldn’t feel so lonely, either one of us will come home greeted. Maybe together also. We’ll have to think about each other when we’re out grocery shopping,” Kazuha added to your teasing.
“Gosh, let’s just go wash up for bed, Zuha. You're lame," you playfully said.
——
The following morning, Kazuha woke you up to start the day. With small, little conversations, you took her to a nearby store for an early breakfast and looked out of the glass window into the sunny morning. Afterwards, you dropped her off at class following a brief stop at her apartment. Neither of you were officially in a relationship, at least not yet, but before she exited the car, she requested a kiss.
Throughout your classes, thoughts of Kazuha consumed your mind and made it difficult to concentrate. Your thoughts wandered to the things you wanted to do with her after so long. Time seemed to drag on, and you anxiously waited when you could finally leave and pick her up from the library, where she waited with her headphones on as she works on her project. 
After finishing your class for the day, you eargerly walked out to pick her up and called her the moment you arrived. “Zuha, I’m outside.”
"Okay. Be there in a second," Kazuha says before swiftly gathering her belongings and exiting the library. In her hands, she holds a book, and her backpack is filled to the brim with assignments. Dressed in denim jeans and a black shirt she changed into, she wore glasses that adds to her beauty, giving her a nerdy yet attractive look. It's remarkable how her glasses can make her stand out in a crowd. It's these subtle details that make you see her in a new light. Regardless of whether she intended to look beautiful, you couldn't help but be mesmerized by the woman who slept with you twice. 
"Damn," you silently compliment her as she approaches your car. In that moment, you find yourself dismissing the idea of her as just a friend. There's something more, a feeling that goes beyond mere friendship. You want to keep her.
"It's sunny outside, isn't it?" Kazuha remarks, opening the door and taking a seat with her backpack on her lap.
"It is.” Your gaze fixed on Kazuha, captivated despite seeing her in the exact same outfit this morning. Yet, it was the addition of her glasses that caused your heart to skip a beat. It's unexpected, catching you off guard.
“Aren’t you going to drive?” Kazuha says, tilting her head to playfully tease you.
“Take off those glasses. I can’t concentrate,” you said, laughing it off.
“Your cheeks are glowing. Am I pretty? It’s not like you’ve never seen me wearing glasses.” The difference between her current innocent demeanor and whenever Kazuha wanted to fuck was polar opposite. You wouldn’t deny, you love seeing the two sides of Kazuha. “Better hurry, we have things to do at home.”
With a gulp, you shifted the car into drive. In that moment, Kazuha realized that this friendship is blossoming into something more. Despite both of you silently acknowledging the subtle sparks of romance, neither was willing to openly admit it.
As you both step inside your apartment, she shuts the door and locks it quickly. Kazuha waited for this just like you did for the whole day. She urgently drops her backpack and book onto the floor as you wasted no time in pinned her right against the door and lock eyes with each other.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Zuha.” Your hands were rather naughty as you groped her ass and made Kazuha chuckle. 
“I could say the same,” she says quietly, and puts her hand on your shoulders. The look she gave you was silent, with the clock ticking loudly within the apartment. Neither did you want to look away from her beauty. 
“Bed. Now, Zuha.” You lift her off the ground effortlessly and around her thighs to carry Kazuha. She chuckles softly and leans in for a romantic kiss as you make your way to the bed.
“I don’t think it’s right if we do this everyday,” Kazuha murmurs. “But it’s so right that no one knows about us.”
“Your tone is saying different, Zuha. Doesn’t matter if it’s ten minutes a day." You gently nudge the door with your foot before guiding her to the bed, where you both gently fall onto. "At least this way, we can both find some relief from the stress."
She starts striping off her shirt and pants, and you followed after, dropping it onto the floor with the door opened wide. Kazuha beckons you to come with her fingers and spreads her legs. “Come take off my bra and panties.”
You didn’t hesitate to get on top of her and kisses Kazuha on her abs and up to her armpits for a taste. You unhook her bra while kissing and licking her armpits, then tossed her bra onto the floor. Knowing that she’s also ticklish, Kazuha laughs and moan by your tongue getting a taste of her armpits. “You smell and taste so fucking good,” you mumbled.
“All for you,” Kazuha breathes heavily. Despite her panties still on, you didn’t plan to go down and pull them off, not just yet, when you wanted to get romantic with Kazuha. Your hands slowly reach up her arms, and pin them against the headrest of the bed. She laughs and smiles, “this brings back memories.”
“And you’re not gonna be laughing once I’m deep in you, Zuha.”
“You’re getting me so wet. Do I have to beg for it now?” She looks at you with a smirk.
You look at her body, down to her crotch, and see a small damp area that you made Kazuha have. “Can’t wait any longer?”
“Please,” Kazuha pleads as she looks at your hard cock. You could hear the small little whines she made as you press your lips all over her neck and chest.
Putting your cock inside her wasn’t what you wanted to do just yet, not until you get a quick taste of her pussy. You slowly get down towards her crotch and went in for a taste to be reminded of the succulent taste of Kazuha as her thighs are on your shoulders. She moans and whimpers to the rhythm of your tongue all over her pussy.
“Fuck,” she groans and arches her back. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”
And you knew she was getting impatient. Kazuha waited the whole day, and potentially wanting this more than you did. “So needy, Zuha,” you said and put your cock in slowly.
She moans with her mouth opened in a oval shape. The glare she give you were romantic, and the deeper you slowly went in, her eyes close with her teeth clenching. Kazuha’s pussy stretches the deeper you went, although you weren’t all the way in, she was taking every inch that you give her.
“You’re so tight, Zuha,” you moaned, heavily breathing as you feel how warm it was inside. The feeling of her pussy was like a genuine hug—a warm one that you only want from her. And by how warm it was inside, nothing would ever give you this feeling from another woman.
You love her body. Kazuha doesn’t have a killer body that men fantasize for, but you became fond of her tits. They’re on the smaller side, and you loved them. Her ass was something that you love the most—it’s soft and perfectly round, so slap-able enough to where you’ll kiss her ass for hours after. The beauty of her is when you’re fucking her from behind. The ripples and bounce it makes can only grow more hunger out of you.
“Go deeper,” Kazuha begs as she squeezes your shoulders. So you pushed in deeper until you heard an erotic grunt from her as she places her hand on your stomach to make you stop going further.
Love is pain, but you would argue that the pain was when you’re balls deep inside this woman, questionably, maybe your girlfriend that you didn’t want to admit. You’re deep inside her at the start where she needed to get used to your cock. This wasn’t her first time having you in bed, but it’s been way too long for Kazuha to remember this feeling of your hard cock stretching her pussy.
There’s not a thought about looking away from her eyes, she wanted this, she needed this, she knew that you’re the only man she’ll ever settle down for. This wasn’t a dice roll to see how long a new relationship would last with you, when you were for her everytime she needed someone to talk. Not much talking is happening as of right now though.
“Zuha,” you groaned, thrusting in and out of her walls hugging your cock so tightly. There’s a clear indication of romance by how her hands were all over your shoulders and to your back, and she’s not letting you go.
Was this feeling the same as the first time you slept with her? Definitely.
But this feeling was different when she held onto you so tightly, yet the softness of her not wanting you to pull away from her body as your thighs are locked in by her. Kazuha’s begging you desperately, and the mistake of holding back a simple text message made her blame herself. This was her way of making it up and wanting you to cum inside her.
“You’re so fucking big,” she groans in your ear and kisses your neck while your already balls deep inside Kazuha without the thoughts of being so-called ‘friends.’
You love it—the tightness of her pussy, and it’s not a fluke when she’s just a beauty, but someone you genuinely know with feelings this time around. Even if your cock throbs every few seconds, you would stop deep in her just to fuck her longer.
Kazuha’s arms are around you, they weren’t full of masculinity, but the feminine kind that you can dominate her in the most aggressive ways. It’s not like she would lead anyways when she loves getting a good pounding from you to clear her mind. As your breath gets heavier, she didn’t want you to do all the work, so Kazuha pushes your shoulders gently and you already knew she wanted to ride you. No words, only her eyes made it clear.
She gets on top as you caress her abs, and Kazuha slowly puts your cock in her again, moaning enough for you to only hear and no one else. You grab her arms and pull Kazuha down closer to make her chest to glue on to yours. She starts riding you with passion, and your hands slowly move closer to her ass.
With a quick and sudden spank, she laughs at you seductively with her lips all over yours, and she knew her ass was one of your favorite things to get a hold on.
“So naughty of you, gosh,” Kazuha says, kissing your lips right after.
“So round and juicy, Zuha. Don’t you miss how I touch you?”
“I don’t have to miss it anymore,” she moans.
Either of you still fail to hold a conversation while fucking, and this overly too passionate and romantic when she wasn’t your girlfriend. At least not yet. Your pride makes you hesitate.
Kazuha gets up with her hands leaning on your chest and grinds on your cock faster. Her breaths become heavy, and dangerously, the glares she gives you were lustful to the point of making your heart skipped a beat. She’s a beauty in every position.
You grunted, and she smiles seeing you struggle to not cum. “Zuha, slow down,” you said with a heavy breath and gently take this opportunity to choke her. Just even choking her, she smiles in the most seductive ways. Kazuha never told you that she loves being choked, but it’s not new when you bring a smile to her face when being choked.
She holds onto your arm with both hands that’s choking her neck. “Fuck, it feels so good inside me, Babe.”
Her moans gotten louder, your cock was deep inside Kazuha as she closes her eyes. And by the time you even realize, Kazuha cums. Her legs shake and she tumbles back down with her hair brushing against your shoulders all while you’re still choking her.
And you didn’t catch her slipping the word, ‘babe’ at all. Kazuha couldn’t help it. Her feelings are drawn towards you, and neither did she catch the word she said.
She’s in your embrace before she even knew it after you put your arm around her back. Her moans got more erotic, and you couldn’t help it but pound her even harder. The sounds of her ass bouncing on your thighs were pure ecstasy. You wanted more, you wanted the neighbors to hear this beautiful woman sing the songs of erotica.
“Harder,” she struggles to even speak with your cock penetrating her walls. “Harder, Baby.”
“Bend over. Give me what I love seeing.”
She gets off your cock after your arms were off her, and Kazuha quickly got on all fours as you get behind her. You love how this woman can turn from a nerdy one, to the most horniest yet. She never doubts you doing the naughtiest things to her, and she’s all in for it. All in for you.
You didn’t waste time to put your cock back in. Her walls were well lubricated, ass so round that you wanted to see it bounce in circular motions as you got her on all fours. The best part was that you also get to pull her hair, but the arch she’s doing—the back that you love so much, you could cum in her in this position forever.
Kazuha keeps moaning and moaning, “fuck me, harder!” She screams with her hair being pulled.
With her head bobbing, and ass bouncing to how hard you were pounding her, Kazuha closes her eyes with all the moans filling the room. Only she can make you feel this way, only you can make it right by fucking her in the most passionate yet hard ways that she loves. Her walls were hugging your cock at this point, the feelings of her tight pussy only made you grew hungry as you stare down at her body.
You give her ass a gentle spank, then a harder one, and the obvious and final, a harder one that made her scream erotically with a smile on her face that you couldn’t see.
“Zuha,” you moaned with a heavier breath. You’re tired, but there’s no way when you’re fueled by this woman to keep going. Her body’s addictive, beautifully in all different positions that neither of you can call each other friends after fucking.
You’re in a trance because of this woman. Thoughts run endlessly as you heard her moans muffle, and before you knew it, Kazuha’s moaning her heart out. Kazuha didn’t stop you, she wanted more, she wanted to be pounded by the man she kept yearning for.
So you lift her back up on her knees, back against your chest, the soft gentle chokes you give her neck, and your other hands groping her tits. Kazuha starts riding you, endlessly without wanting this to end all while feeling the warm embrace you give her.
“Make me cum, Zuha. Make me cum. I’ll give it to you.”
From seeing the wicked smile on her face as you’re choking her, she wanted this simple reminder, the reminiscence of the warm cum you gave her a year ago.
“Cum, Baby,” she says, riding and grinding. It was only then, you heard the way she called you for the first time.
“Make me, Baby,” you say back, spicing things up with her.
“Give it to me,” she says, squealing loudly by how hard you’re choking the sides of her neck with your fingers.
Your cock’s throbbing the harder she rides and pounds herself on your cock. The sounds of sex, Kazuha in your arms, the pleasure she’s giving you, and the tightness her pussy has on your cock gets the best of you.
You cum.
Like the time has stopped as she pauses to feel your cock throbbing and giving her your cum that left a memory inside her. “Zuha,” your breath becomes heavy. Grunting as you’re still cumming deep in her.
And the greed she has of you—your balls deep, cumming and giving Kazuha what she wanted. It’s not you who’s deep in her, every ounce of cum dumping deep inside her, but Kazuha. Her ass was glued to your hips, standing on her own two knees as you hugged Kazuha in your arms tightly.
“Mhmm,” she moans.
You’re grunting—hard, hard enough to strain your throat by how much your cock was still throbbing until the last bit of cum you have left for her. “Kazuha,” you whispered and nibbled her ear with a smile. “Kazuha”
She stood still to embrace this memory that she never expected. By being in your arms, your own house, and the love that blossomed quickly within a day or two, it’s a fairytale that turned into reality.
Neither did both of you spoke for seconds, or maybe minutes by how much passion still lingered in the small bedroom with clothes all over the floor. You kept her head titled back so you can get your lips all over her neck, and all she did was embrace your cock still inside.
Her moans became softer, seductively keeping you turned on more to make a mess on her neck. “Do you miss me this much?” She chuckles and hold your arm that’s on her neck.
“Maybe more than you ever thought, Zuha,” you murmur, still kissing her neck and up to her face.
“I don’t think this can be your monthly rent. I want to help you. Getting me naked is just a plus.”
“What exactly are you saying, Zuha,” your lips trace up to her lips for a romantic kiss.
“I’m saying-mhm—” Playfully, you cut her off to speak by shutting her lips closed with yours.
You decided to let her speak, “can’t hear you, Zuha.” You’re curious after all the time spent fucking.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Neither could she confess straightforwardly. The way she saw the love in your eyes were no lies.
“I want to take you out to a restaurant tomorrow. A new one,” you said and pulled your cock out of her. “Don’t go to class tomorrow. Spend the day with me at least.”
“It’s like you’re asking me out,” she laughs. “What’s the point of us acting like we’re getting to know each other? Let’s just skip all that.” She reaches for her clothes to put on.
Neither of you can confess, but it didn’t matter when it’s clear enough. There’s no clouds, no fog, and only the road that both of you see into the future together. She’s not just your friend, you’re not just her friend, but a couple—girlfriend and boyfriend.
“Lay in bed. Let’s rest up for a bit, Zuha,” you say while putting on your clothes with a smirk.
She looks at you mischievously, “missing a day of class won’t hurt. Spending time in bed right now won’t either, right? I could be working on projects.”
"Give your attention to me, Zuha."
"Anyways, let’s split the rent half-half. It's what's right," she places her hand on your chest as you both lay down.
You didn’t give her answer but press your lips against hers. It remains quiet. If she wanted to split the rent half and half, you wouldn’t mind. Her body’s yours to cum inside of.
“So what’s your answer,” Kazuha whispers after you let go of her lips.
“We can talk about it after we move your stuff over here, Zuha.”
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sunderwight · 2 months
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SV scenario where Shen Jiu is also Shen Yuan's Meimei.
Trans egg SJ never got to examine her gender identity very much in her first life. What with all the enslavement, abuse (given as well as received), misunderstandings, betrayals, dismemberment, and death, there was far too much for her to ever come to terms with a set of concepts she'd never really had the luxury to entertain. By the time Shen Jiu was a peak lord, the Shen Qingqiu persona was locked in, and any dreams of a different life or inclinations to the contrary of her role were ruthlessly quashed by SJ herself.
But when SJ finally dies and her soul is free to reincarnate (taking a few more memories than usual along for the ride), she has mixed feelings about being born as the youngest daughter of a wealthy family.
The mixed feelings don't actually last long, though after a while she starts to wonder why the fates would grant her a reprieve? Maybe remembering her past life is her punishment, because it's certainly the worst part of her new situation. Her parents are indulgent, her older brothers all dote on her and spoil her, and when she tests limits she's only gently rebuked if she gets rebuked at all. Not only is she allowed to wear fine dresses and look pretty, she's expected to (actually the expectation does chafe, a bit). But even when she uses foul language, skips classes, reads controversial books, and commits myriad other tiny rebellions, no real retribution ever comes of it.
Even despite everything, after some years Shen Jiu starts to become... not complacent, but perhaps calmer would be a better description. She has a stable future handed to her on a silver platter. Very few things remind her of her past, either. She can read books about snotty highborn lords getting railed by werewolves as readily as classics of literature or academic papers on science, business, culture, politics, or whatever else takes her fancy. Her family doesn't even put demands on her to marry, despite some of her mother's hints in that direction. For the first time, Shen Jiu has a life where it seems like she can't fail, she can only succeed however much she wants to. It's like having nowhere to go but up, except without the part about hitting rock bottom.
A foolish set of assumptions, in the end. There's always something to lose.
When Shen Yuan suddenly dies, Shen Jiu recognizes the sinister hand of the same entity which oversaw her own reincarnation. One which had visited her dreams quite recently, trying to tempt her back to her first life with offers of being able to change the past. It wasn't even difficult to deny it. Shen Jiu doesn't believe she could change what happened, and she doesn't really want to try. Her one regret is what happened to that person, the one who died so horribly while rushing to her rescue, and even that, she doesn't know how she would change (because she still doesn't know why he bothered in the first place).
But how dare the System God take the silliest and softest of her brothers to try and fix her accursed first life?! Luo Binghe will eat him alive! Cang Qiong will mistake him for a demon or a madman or worse, and throw him into some cell somewhere, if they don't just kill him outright!
Shen Meimei tries to negotiate with the System, but it tells her the window of opportunity for her to go back instead has passed. Smarmy piece of shit. There's nothing she can do without supernatural help, however, except bide her time and wait for another "window of opportunity". It's in the midst of this that she discovers PIDW, and its (terrible) account not only of the broad strokes of her first life and death, but of what came afterwards. That little beast really wrecked the world, huh? And all those women, too. She's never been more grateful to have not figured herself out in her first life. But at least with access to this information, she can try and prepare more. (She's suspicious of who actually wrote this account as well -- is Luo Binghe himself in this world? Better to leave it now, in that case, before he inevitably makes another bid for power and destroys everything in his wake all over again!)
When the System finally gives her an opportunity to go back (as herself, or rather "Bonus Epilogue Side Character -- Shen Qingqiu's Mysterious Little Sister!") she is braced for any number of outcomes. Shen Yuan could be dead. He could be imprisoned. He could have had his limbs all cut off. He could be stuffed into a pickle jar. He could be hiding or on the run somewhere. Hopefully, he'll be hiding behind that person, confused and distraught but still intact thanks to the sect leader's guilt-driven sense of obligation. Most likely if the same number of years have passed since Shen Yuan "left", he's already been destroyed by Luo Binghe and all Shen Jiu will be able to do is avenge him. But she has some ideas of how to kill the beast, so, she will.
Of course, what she finds is nothing she expected, and almost even worse.
Luo Binghe married her brother?!
Death is too good for him! Shen Jiu's going to skin him alive!!!
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sundrop-writes · 9 months
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The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes
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Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader
Summary:
While undercover inside the Separatarian Sect, you and Spencer realize something important: you can’t live without each other.
Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Lovers. Fake Dating. Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 4, Episode 3.
Word Count: 8,200
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.
Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.
Warnings: Lots of spoilers for the canon episode - so if you haven’t watched Season 4 of Criminal Minds yet, steer clear of this fic for now (especially because watching the episode provides some context for this fic/makes things make more sense); the reader uses she/her pronouns and has the ability to get pregnant (she is not pregnant during the fic and there’s no smut, but due to discussions in the fic, it’s not unreasonable that she could get pregnant); fake dating in the form of a fake marriage - the reader and Spencer pretend to be married under the Christian religion to ‘appeal’ to Cyrus; because of the fake marriage, Spencer uses the term 'my wife’ to refer to the reader; lots of mentions of religion (Christianity), religious extremism, mentions of pedophilia/child brides (in line with the canon episode); mentions of systemic sexism and gender roles enforced by cultures of organised religion and religious extremism; use of y/n and l/n (in this case meaning 'your last name’); the reader pretends to follow the Christian religion while undercover but I never stated if she believes in a less extreme version of these things or not (the reader’s true religious beliefs are never stated); protective!Spencer, possessive!Spencer; mentions of Spencer being taller than the reader (which, again, I think he would be taller than most people) - the reader’s body/body type is not described in any other way; mentions of guns and gun violence (not described in deep detail) - in line with the canon episode; the reader and Spencer fear for their lives; dangerous/live-threatening situations; the reader and Spencer are threatened with a gun; Cyrus is just generally creepy and sexist toward the reader; Spencer is pistol-whipped and the reader is threatened with sexual assault (it does not happen, Spencer protects her); mentions of pregnancy/the reader being pregnant (she is not pregnant during the course of the fic); mentions of the reader being a mother/having kids (Spencer makes up fake kids to sell their fake marriage story); the reader realizes she might actually want to be a mother because of Spencer’s fake kids story; mentions of an explosion (as in the canon); love confessions; angst with a happy ending. Hopefully that is everything.
A/N: The title for this fic comes from a Fall Out Boy song of the same name. The theme/lyrics of the song don’t really fit the fic, but I love the way that this title fits - how everyone in this fic is lying in some way but Spencer is someone with good intentions while lying. Making him the Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes. I love how it fits. I wrote this while suffering with heat exhaustion so idk if it’s good or even makes sense. I rewatched the canon episode and it doesn’t 100% align with what happened in the episode in terms of the timeline and stuff, and I am too tired to rewrite the whole fic to make it align with the episode. So uh - alternative canon? But I really love the basic concepts and I do really love how it turned out. I hope you guys like it too!
...
You thought it would be an easy day. 
Maybe that was foolish on your part. So far, you hadn’t seen a single ‘easy’ day while working with the BAU. Between chasing down scumbags and then reliving every single gory detail while doing the paperwork - none of it was ‘easy’. It was worthy, accomplished work - making the world a safer place to live in. (At least that’s what you told yourself.) But it was never easy. 
There was always someone who made the job easier. Someone who made you smile every single day - especially on days when you didn’t think you were even capable of feeling a tiny shred of joy. Someone who made you feel safe, who you always felt had your back no matter what. So you were glad that he was by your side today, along for the ride. 
“Tell us about Cyrus.” Reid prompted. 
He looked to the woman driving, your new companion for the day - Nancy Lunde, someone who worked with the state department and had set up the interviews with the children at the Separatarian Sect. 
“Benjamin Cyrus. No criminal record. In fact, there’s no record of the guy at all.” Nancy explained. 
“That’s odd.” You commented. “Usually someone being accused of something like this would have some past offenses. Especially because it would give him a reason to move into isolation to continue the criminal pattern of behavior.” 
“Well, I couldn’t find anything on him.” Nancy shrugged. 
“What about the 9-1-1 call?” You asked. 
“A fifteen year old girl called in saying that a man was ‘laying with her’ and claimed it as ‘God’s will’. I believe the ‘he’ referred to is Cyrus.” Nancy explained. “The age fits with Jessica Evanson, but I’ve managed to negotiate interviews with all the children, just to be sure. It wasn’t easy.” 
“They’re incredibly weary of outsiders.” You commented. “Our boss warned you not to identify us as FBI, right?” 
Nancy nodded. “I got you some spare credentials, just in case.” 
She took one of her hands off the wheel and reached into her pocket.
“You’re going to be using your real names. You’re going in as Child Victim Interview Experts working with Child Protective Services. No association with the FBI.” Nancy explained, handing Reid your fake credentials. 
He nodded, inspecting the IDs before handing you yours where you were sitting in the backseat. 
“Oh, before I forget.” You noted, reaching into the pocket of your cardigan. “The rings.” 
You pulled out a small plastic bag that Hotch had given to you before you left. It was a bag containing a fake diamond ring in your size and a fake golden ‘wedding’ band for Spencer. 
Reid reached over the seat to grab his ring from you, and Nancy gave the two of you an odd look. 
“Rings?” She questioned. 
“Fake wedding bands.” You explained. 
“It was our Unit Chief’s idea.” Reid added on. “He believes that presenting us as a ‘godly’ married couple to Cyrus will make him more likely to open up to us. He’s less likely to see us as hostile outsiders if he believes that we share a similar system of beliefs.” 
“It could also have a calming effect on the teenagers we have to interview or the kids there who have had more time to go through indoctrination at the Sect.” You continued to explain. “Even if their parents are hesitant to let the kids speak with us, they may be more willing to have their child speak with us or even leave them alone with us if they believe that we’re fellow Christians, rather than hostile atheists there to poison their children’s minds.” 
Reid nodded at you through the rearview mirror. 
“Make sure you put on the left hand.” He told you. “That’s the position for marriage.” 
You nodded at this. 
You placed the ring in the appropriate position, and you couldn’t help but to take a moment and stare at it. It was jarring to have a wedding ring on - especially with the thought that it represented you being married to Spencer. But you supposed, of all the people to call your husband, he would be one of the best. He was honest, intelligent, kind, and… if you were pressed, you would definitely say he was handsome. 
But you couldn’t get too caught up thinking about all of that. Because it wasn’t real. It was a false projection you were wearing for the benefit of a self inflated sociopath. 
Spencer liked the feeling of the ring. He didn’t take too long to stare at it after he had put it on, because he knew his mind would wander if he did. When Hotch had first proposed the idea of the two of you pretending to be married, Spencer had almost tripped over himself to oppose it - mostly because he didn’t think that he would be able to handle simply pretending to be your husband for the day. It was just too cruel. 
Having something he wanted so badly dangled right in front of him and knowing that it was all just a farce - it bothered him, but he delighted in the play nonetheless. 
When he caught the fake gold glinting in the light, Spencer had to remind himself that it was fake - that you would just be playing his wife for the day. He had to push back any internal glee that he felt at the idea that he got to be ‘taken’ by you while wearing that ring. It wasn’t real. It was just for the day. 
“Isn’t that deceptive?” Nancy asked. “Won’t Cyrus be even more angry if he finds out that it’s not true?” 
“He won’t find out.” You replied confidently. “And besides, we use deception in interrogations all the time. It’s a very basic tactic: align yourself with the suspect. Make them think you share the same beliefs, that you’re on their side.” 
Reid grinned at this. He always loved it when you spoke so confidently. 
… 
“We’re looking for Mr. Benjamin Cyrus.” Nancy announced as the three of you got out of the car. 
“Then you’ve found him.” Cyrus announced confidently. 
He was pretty much what you had expected him to be - dressed informally, slouched over, faking meekness, holding a bible near his chest as though it were a shield. He had planted himself there purposefully, wanting to be the first person to interact with the outsiders as three of you came into the Ranch. 
You hovered back near Spencer, letting Nancy make the first introduction. 
“I’m Nancy Lunde.” She said, giving a small nod toward the man. “We spoke on the phone regarding the allegation.” 
“‘Savages they call us, because our manners differ from theirs.’” Cyrus rhymed off a quote, obviously positioning himself and his group as martyrs being attacked for having ‘different ways’ that the world simply didn’t understand. 
“We didn’t come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus.” Nancy reminded him, hoping to keep the religious zealot on track. 
“Actually, it’s Benjamin Franklin.” Reid corrected her, talking about the quote. 
That did surprise you, but you didn’t find it surprising that Reid knew this fact right off the top of his head. It was just one of the many amazing things about him - his perfect memory and his ability to use it. 
Of course, him saying this immediately drew Cyrus’ attention toward the two of you. So Spencer stepped up to introduce you. 
“Hello, I’m Spencer Reid, and this is my wife, Y/N L/N.” He said motioning toward himself and then to you as he introduced the two of you. Hearing him refer to you as his wife - you hated to say it, but it caused a jolt through your system. Almost as if you had been waiting forever to hear him say those words and hadn’t even known it yourself. “We’re Child Victim Interview Experts, here on behalf of Child Protective Services.” 
Of course, you couldn’t get too caught up in deciphering how those words made you feel, because you had to focus on the task at hand. The job that you were here to do. 
“How far from God’s word must we have strayed for there to be a need to invent a job called ‘Child Victim Interview Expert’.” Cyrus said, his tone even, quiet. 
You knew that covertly, it was his way of saying that the two of you didn’t belong there, because he ran the Ranch with God’s word, so nobody had actually been harmed (in his opinion). He believed that he had done nothing wrong. Obviously, he thought your time and resources were better spent with ‘actual’ victims who didn’t have his power wielded over their lives. 
“I can assure you, Mr. Cyrus, we try to bring God into our work.” You told him, trying to appeal to him. “The children we visit usually need prayer and God’s light the most.” 
Spencer gave you a sideways glance, clearly holding back a grin at how thick you were pouring it on - how much intense, feigned passion you said these words with. 
“Well, I can assure you that a lack of prayer and God’s light is certainly not an issue for the children here.” Cyrus said, giving you a clever little grin. He thought that you would simply interview the children, praise him for what a good job he had done, and then leave. “You can go and see the children whenever you like. They are up at the school, as I indicated in our phone call.” 
Nancy walked toward the school, and you paused before you followed. 
Before you walked off, you looked to Spencer. In a completely silent conversation that only worked so well because the two of you had been in so many tense situations before, thinking around UnSubs and planning miles around them before they could even know it, he gave you a small nod and you instantly knew what it meant. He had established a small bit of trust with Cyrus, so he would stick back and see what else he could get out of the man. 
You nodded back, and then - completely surprising yourself, you leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek. You were just playing the part, you told yourself. It’s not that it felt entirely instinctive to say goodbye to him with some kind of affection, like the many hugs you had given him before. It’s not that you felt so entirely scrutinized with Cryus’ piercing eyes on you, and you needed the anchor of Spencer’s touch. 
You were just playing the part. 
Spencer tried not to get caught on being kissed on the cheek like he was some blushing virgin, and instead, focused his attention back on Cyrus instead of watching you walk away. (Even though every single one of his instincts told him that he needed to keep a more careful eye on you because you both had to leave your guns in the car.) 
He took a step closer to where Cyrus was leaning on the concrete, and easily picked a topic of conversation. 
“Solar panels.” Reid said, motioning to the large devices sitting behind Cyrus on the grass. 
“Yes.” Cyrus nodded. “We’re completely self-sufficient here. Food, electricity, water. Benjamin Franklin said ‘God helps those who help themselves’.” He explained. “You look surprised.” 
“No, uh, impressed, actually.” Reid easily lied, trying to appeal to his ego. 
“Thank you.” Cyrus said. “Most men wouldn’t admit that.” 
“Well, I suppose that I’m not like most men.” Reid shrugged in return. 
“How long have you been married?” Cyrus asked, motioning toward Reid’s ‘wedding ring’. 
Reid panicked slightly, knowing that the two of you likely should have coordinated this story during the plane ride to Colorado so that your answers to these simple questions wouldn’t be different. But he just made up an answer and hoped that nobody else would ask you the same question and find out the deception. 
“Three years.” He said. “I’ve been very blessed.” 
He used the language purposefully, knowing that the simple phrase could get him on Cyrus’ good side. That, and he hoped it would draw the attention away from any possible signs of his blatant lie. 
“Your wife is very beautiful.” Cyrus commented. 
He gave a wicked smirk as he said this. It was a simple, fairly ‘innocent’ comment, but it was immediately off-putting to Spencer. It took everything in his body not to glare daggers at Cyrus or throw out some protective comment in return. He could only imagine what was going through Cyrus’ mind as he thought about you, and he hated even imagining it. 
Reid knew that it was a basic logical good, the instinct to protect you because you were his partner on this case and he was supposed to have your back. But it was also something more. Something in every fiber of his being that screamed you were his and no man should ever be thinking of you that way except for him. 
“Has it been a godly union?” 
He was lucky when Cyrus spoke again and distracted him from his mounting rage. 
“We try to be as godly as we can be.” Spencer took the simple, diplomatic answer. 
“Your wife didn’t take your last name.” Cyrus pointed out. 
Nancy had used your name on your false credentials because Hotch had only come up with the fake marriage idea the day before. There hadn’t been time to inform her about it and have ‘Reid’ put on your ID as your ‘married’ name. So he had introduced you by your name to keep everything consistent with the reuse. 
It did make Spencer wonder if you would keep your last name if the two of you ever did get married. It made him almost dizzy, thinking about you as ‘Mrs Reid’. Thinking about your kids having his name. Or your name, if that’s what you wanted. 
But naturally, he pushed past all those thoughts and formed an excuse. 
“Typically, married women aren’t very well perceived in our line of work.” He quickly excused. “She doesn’t even get to wear her ring that often. She couldn’t change her name on paperwork at our office because a working married woman… it’s heavily frowned upon.” 
“Well, I’d have to agree.” Cyrus grunted. “A woman shouldn’t be out working. A woman should be at home raising a family.” 
“I - I suppose you’re right.” Reid agreed through gritted teeth. 
He walked away toward the school before he got too angry again. 
… 
A few hours later, everything had gone to hell. 
Some authority - the police, the military, you didn’t even know - had charged into the Ranch shooting. In response, Cyrus and his followers had come into the school toting large semi-automatics asking you and Spencer if you knew about a raid. 
You didn’t. You wish you had known about a raid. You would have warned Hotch and gotten them to call it off. You certainly would not have been there while it was happening. 
When they had pointed those guns in your face and forced you into the tunnels - it wasn’t very difficult to pretend to be Spencer’s wife then. Cowering in the bunker, confused and scared, you flung your arms around his waist almost instinctively, and he buried his nose in the top of your hair as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders like a shield, promising you that everything was going to be okay. 
Whispered to you like that, coming from him - it was almost easier to believe. Even with the chaos going on around you and the fear pumping through you in response. 
Nancy had run off trying to get them to surrender and did not come back. You had a feeling that you knew what that meant. 
And now, with the kids from the school ‘evacuated’ into the church, you were being held in the cellar at gunpoint. They had forcefully separated you and Spencer, making you sit in chairs at opposite sides of the room.
Spencer was fidgeting. His eyes kept flickering from the door, to you, to the man standing beside you holding the very large gun. 
You knew that you had ugly tear tracks down your face, and oddly enough - you wanted nothing more than to be back in his arms. As you were forced to sit there, just a few feet across the room away from him - you ached for it. 
There was a very large possibility that you were going to die today. And you selfishly needed the comfort of being in the arms of someone familiar - someone safe. Someone you knew would never hurt you. Someone who had made you laugh with dumb science jokes and puns for the last five years that you had worked together with him. 
When Cyrus charged back into the room with two men flanking his sides, you and Spencer stiffened up once again. 
“God will forgive me for what I’m about to do.” Cyrus announced to the room, presenting a handgun from his belt. 
Your insides quaked, and Spencer’s eyes grew wide. 
You couldn’t contain the fearful whimper that erupted from the back of your throat when he raised that gun and placed it near the middle of Spencer’s forehead. You clasped a hand tightly over your mouth to keep yourself from crying out in protest, knowing that would only make things worse. 
“Which one of you is the FBI Agent?” Cyrus asked firmly. 
Which ‘one’? 
So he knew that you were undercover, that you had lied about your job titles - but he thought that only one of you had done so. Where the hell was he getting his information? 
“I - I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Spencer told him quietly, looking him in the eye the entire time. 
You hoped that his stutter could be passed off as nervousness from the gun being pointed in his face, and wouldn’t be pointed to as deception. 
“Which one of you is it?” Cyrus pressed. 
“We are not FBI Agents.” Spencer said, more confidently this time. “We are Child Victim Interview Experts. We were only sent here to ensure the wellbeing of the children. Nothing more, nothing less.” 
Well, that last part wasn’t a lie. 
“You’re lying.” Cyrus told him, entirely confident in this. “God expells those who lie, devils in sheep’s clothing.” 
There was a tense moment, and then Cyrus cocked the gun. 
Spencer didn’t flinch. You resisted the urge to scream. 
“Proverbs 12:22 says: ‘The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.’” Cyrus said, actually citing scripture this time. 
He was giving Spencer one last chance to tell the truth. As if using the bible verse to say that his punishment would be lesser if he simply told the truth now. 
Spencer didn’t take the bait. 
“I’m not lying.” Spencer said firmly. “What? You think I wouldn’t know if - if my wife was an FBI Agent? This is the woman I wake up next to every single morning, the woman I go to sleep next to every single night, we work together every single day, we-” 
Cyrus interrupted Spencer’s ranting with a sharp hit to the face, pistol whipping him across the cheek. 
This caused Spencer to go flying off the chair, and you couldn’t help when you let out a wounded cry. It took everything in you not to jump out of your own chair and rush to Spencer where he had collapsed onto the ground, clutching his cheek. 
“Someone is going to tell me the truth.” Cyrus said gruffly. 
“It must have been Nancy!” You said, the idea finally popping into your head. 
You seemed to be more clever with the pressure of Spencer’s life being threatened. Cyrus stared you down, turning his attention fully toward you now. You caught Spencer’s eye for a moment and he gave you a small nod - as if to say ‘yes, keep going with that’. 
“The woman we came in with! Nancy!” You reasoned, continuing to point the finger at the woman you had to assume was dead. “We - we just met her today. Our boss introduced us to her, but we had never met before that. If she was FBI, we had no clue. We swear.” 
Cyrus turned to you then, and tightly pressed the barrel of his gun into your forehead. You could feel the imprint of it so tight in your skin that it hurt, and you could only lean away so far before threatening to knock the chair backwards. 
“It’s very convenient to pin this crime on someone who isn’t here.” He grunted at you. 
“It’s the truth.” You sniffled out quietly. 
“Hmm.” Cyrus hummed thoughtfully, and then, much to your surprise, he removed the gun barrel from your forehead. 
You barely had a moment to breathe in relief before he began skimming the gun down your neck, touching the metal whisper-gentle across your bare skin - clearly taunting you. It was something that made your whole body stiff with alarm, and caused Spencer’s eyes to go wide once again.
“Perhaps I should strip you naked to ensure that you’re not wearing a wire.” Cyrus said, teasing the gun along the buttons at the front of your cardigan. 
You held back a sob at the thought of it - at the idea that he could make you do almost anything for the fear of you being shot. Truthfully, you were more afraid of what he might do to Spencer if you didn’t comply, but it was all the same in your mind now. His life was just as valuable as yours, and you would do whatever it took to protect him.
Before Cyrus could take these threats any further, a heroic voice intervened. 
“That’s enough!” Spencer yelled. 
He gathered himself off the floor and oddly enough, none of the men moved to stop him as he came to stand beside Cyrus. Perhaps they didn’t see him as a threat. Perhaps it was because Cyrus didn’t bark any orders at them to stop him. He was entirely unflinching, keeping his focus on you and keeping his gun held between your breasts as Spencer crowded into his personal space, trying to press himself between you and the awful man. 
“We’ve told you everything that we know.” Spencer told him lowly, his voice heaving with well controlled anger. It was something that you had rarely ever heard from him. 
Cyrus kept his eyes locked on you, so Spencer continued. 
“We don’t know anything about the FBI - we have a simple job advocating for children who have been abused. That is it. We came here to investigate a most likely false claim against someone in your community and we truly didn’t mean to get caught up in all of this.” He said firmly, clearly trying to appeal to Cyrus. “So I suggest you get that gun away from my wife before you and I truly have a problem.” 
Spencer’s voice was dark, so thick with rage. More pent up rage than you had ever heard from him when he was talking to any suspect, people who had done the worst of the worst. Something about Cyrus threatening you had truly boiled his insides. 
The way he said the words ‘my wife’ - growling it out like he was a feral animal and this threat to you had activated every single one of his protective instincts. Hearing it made something inside of you yearn for him on such a deep level that you didn’t know was possible. You wanted to feel that kind of protection cast over you every single day. It made you feel invincible, having Spencer watch over you like that. 
Cyrus lowered the gun then, and Spencer grabbed your arm as you dissolved into hysterical tears. Instinctively, he lifted you up into his arms. You thought that you heard Cyrus mumble out ‘my apologies’ as he left the room - but he was barely on your radar. Your entire world became narrowed down to nothing but Spencer, your safety net as he built a wall of protection around you. 
He used his height to block you from seeing anything but him, letting you push your face into his chest as you cried. He wrapped you in his arms once again, letting you feel truly safe for a few moments as you sobbed into the fabric of his sweater. Your arms clutched desperately at his waist, needing to keep a hold on him - needing to ensure that he didn’t leave you. 
“Hey, shh. Shh. It’s okay.” He said, leaving gentle kisses on the top of your forehead and your hair, rubbing across your back with one hand, comforting you in the only way he could in those moments. “It’s gonna be okay.” 
Of course, he wanted to break down too. But he had to be strong for you. 
“Spencer,” You called his name in an utterly wounded voice, pulling away from his chest to look up at him. 
When you saw his injury up close - a sharp, purple-red bruise that was blooming across his cheek, it looked so utterly painful. Your insides ached at the thought that he had taken a blow for you. You hated to imagine what more they could have done to him if they had not believed your lies. 
You instinctively reached a hand up to touch it and he caught your fingers halfway, instead, gently grasping your hand and laying it on his chest. The intimacy felt so oddly rehearsed - so worn in, so ‘normal’. It felt like you had been married to Spencer for years. Like it wasn’t a play at all. 
Your two souls had been calling out to each other for years, just waiting for the dam to break. But you couldn’t quite put it into words - not like that. 
“It’s okay.” He said quietly, knowing you were horrified by the injury. 
He was so gentle, so comforting, so calm. Everything the men pointing guns at you were not. Unlike Cyrus - Spencer Reid was a true blessing from God. 
You couldn’t hold yourself back then. 
You surged up and kissed him, fully embracing his mouth with yours in a kiss. Though it was so sudden, it was something he easily returned. The kiss so full of urgency, so needy, so passionate. Like he was trying to tell you that it was okay, that he would protect you no matter what. 
He would protect you because you belonged to him. 
In those moments, the two of you were basically alone. One of Cryus’ men was guarding the door, watching on boredly. But Cyrus was off in the church, funneling people in to prepare for his ‘loyalty’ test. It didn’t matter if he saw you kissing or not - it wouldn’t have sold the reuse of you being married any better. 
This was just for the two of you. This was comfort. 
When you pulled back from the kiss, Spencer looked stunned, almost as if he couldn’t believe what had happened. You didn’t give him time to question it. 
“Thank you.” You said quietly. 
It was twofold:
Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for giving me comfort. 
Spencer didn’t have too much time to marinate in the meaning of the kiss before Cyrus’ men came back and fetched the two of you, wanting you to observe the loyalty test. 
… 
After the mock poisoning (which Spencer figured out rather quickly, making you admire his cleverness once again), Cyrus kept you and Spencer in the church with a few of his closest, most loyal followers while all of the low level followers dispersed back to their homes. 
You and Spencer were lingering in the back quietly while Cyrus was on the other end of the room, talking to his men about how to proceed. The plans for their ‘final stand’. 
“We need to get some kind of signal to the others.” Spencer whispered quietly. “Maybe they’ll take pity on you and let you go if-” He swallowed sharply, cutting himself off abruptly. Oddly enough, he didn’t want to voice whatever was on his mind. 
“If what?” You probed. You wondered what the hell you could possibly be thinking. 
“If we tell them that you’re pregnant.” He said, whispering so lowly that you almost didn’t catch the words. 
You rolled your eyes sharply at this. 
You had gotten married and had kids all in one day. What a miracle. 
(In those moments, clouded by fear, you couldn’t see it for what it truly was - Spencer blatantly revealing his unconscious desires to have a baby with you.) 
“We could convince them to release you. As a show of good faith. A pregnancy would be good leverage in that. You know how religious people are about fetuses-” Spencer reasoned. 
“Yeah, and what if they give me a test?” You probed, punching a large hole in his logic. “We don’t know what kind of infirmary they have here. They obviously believe in modern technology. What if they want to give me an ultrasound to check on the fetus after the stress of the day? To prove that they did no harm to the precious unborn child,” 
Spencer was easily caught on this point. If they examined you and found that you weren’t pregnant, all the lies would fall apart. 
“Well… what if we tell them that you have a baby at home that you need to get back to?” Spencer reasoned, jumping to the next logical conclusion in his mind. “It’ll likely garner the same level of pity.” 
“Your imaginary sperm is powerful, isn’t it?” You whispered back sharply. Spencer rolled his eyes this time. But he didn’t redact the plan as unreasonable, so you continued on. “Okay, what do I even do when I get out there? I’m not gonna be of any use to the tactical team. We don’t know what Cyrus’ final play is yet.” 
Truthfully, you couldn’t bear to be separated from Spencer. Knowing that he was inside, potentially being beaten up more, potentially being shot and bleeding out from a wound without you knowing - it would kill you with stress. You need to be by his side. You needed to know that he was okay. 
“Has God blessed your union with any children?” Cyrus appeared behind you suddenly. 
You wondered if he had heard you say the word ‘pregnancy’ or if this was just a random topic that had come up in his mind. 
His sudden appearance behind you caused you to whip around and crowd into the comfort of Spencer’s arms again because you were frightened. Naturally, Spencer wrapped his sheltering touch around your shoulders. Your back was gently pressed into Spencer’s front, his arm shielding you protectively as it was wrapped around your chest, holding you with his hand on one of your shoulders, unconsciously stroking his thumb across the fabric of your cardigan. The position had you both facing Cyrus, watching the fan in an offensive way. 
And of course, Spencer didn’t miss a beat. 
“Yes.” Spencer answered easily. “We have two kids at home. A boy and a girl. Iris and Hugo. Iris is almost three years old and Hugo is eleven months. His first birthday is coming up in June.” 
You knew that Spencer could be very good at talking off a suspect’s ear under pressure, but when you heard him rattle off these ‘facts’ so easily, it hit you. 
This wasn’t simply statistics or physiological knowledge - this was a very elaborate backstory for your supposedly real marriage. Perhaps he had thought about all of it on the car ride up (which was odd not to share it with you, in case Cyrus asked you a similar question and your answer didn’t match up with Spencer’s). 
But if you weren’t mistaken, this wasn’t simply a backstory for your fake marriage during the undercover mission. This was a fantasy of his. Those were names he had lovingly chosen for your imaginary children - kids he had dreamed up in his head and wanted to be real. 
Your heart ached at the thought of it. You found yourself missing a set of children that weren’t even real. (And distantly, wanting to jump his bones to make it a reality.)
“Tell me, Mr. Reid, would you find it so shameful for your daughter to marry young?” Cyrus asked. 
You found it odd to hear Cyrus call Spencer ‘Mr. Reid’, but you realized that he hadn’t introduced himself as ‘Doctor’ in this setting. You held your tongue when you felt the need to correct him as you had so many other people, wanting Spencer to receive his proper title. 
Your mind almost couldn’t focus on the question that Cyrus had asked. Of course, he was trying to get Spencer to stroke his ego once again. Basically admitting that the whole reason the two of you had come here was true - he was being vastly inappropriate with a young member of the church, and getting away with it. And he saw nothing wrong with it. 
And he was trying to get an outsider to admit that he saw nothing wrong with it too. 
When there was a moment of silence - Reid obviously torn on how to answer the question, Cyrus continued. 
“Is there really something so wrong with a blooming young woman marrying a man who will protect her under God’s laws?” He probed, his voice so entirely confident. Clearly confident that he was right. 
“Well, I’m not sure if I would let my daughter get married so young.” Reid said, finally speaking up. “I just know that I would want her to marry a man that would protect her, and be the best possible fit for her. Someone who would cherish her and be good to her no matter what.” 
His answer made you swoon. You reached up and gently gripped his forearm in response, giving a light squeeze to show your approval. He leaned in and kissed the back of your head - dizzyingly, you were imagining him walking your imaginary daughter down the aisle before you had even gotten married yourself. 
Maybe it was being so close to death, being threatened in such dangerous territory that was causing your life to accelerate at light speed in your mind. If you were going to lose everything, you might as well enjoy the escapism of a fake life with a beautiful man in your mind instead of being stuck on the heart pounding terror of being held hostage, right? 
Surprisingly, his words drew a smile from Cyrus. 
“You’re a protective father, aren’t you?” Cyrus asked. 
“Of course.” Reid confirmed. 
“I can always admire that in a man.” Cyrus nodded. “A man should always pride himself on protecting his family.” 
There was another moment of pause, and you were hoping that the topic had been dropped completely. 
“Do you have a picture of your children with you?” Cyrus asked. 
You wondered if - in a different version of reality, where you and Spencer really were married, where Hugo and Iris really did exist - if you had a picture of them in your pocket, would Cyrus only be asking this so he could use the picture to taunt the two of you? What other purpose would he have for knowing what your children looked like? 
“Unfortunately, no.” You answered. “I keep my family pictures on my desk. In my office. We - we’ve just been praying to get back to them safely.” 
Cyrus seemed perturbed at you mentioning that you had an office. Something dark flickered over his features for a moment and then disappeared. 
“Well… if it is right, God will grant you that safe passage.” Cyrus said. 
Just when you truly thought the conversation was done, he said something to you that entirely grinded under your skin. 
“I find it entirely odd that a mother of two young children spends her days working a job where she takes care of other people’s children, rather than staying at home with her own youngins where she belongs.” 
He said, using that same entirely confident, righteous tone that he always did. Even though you were not really a working mother, you had a hard time not boiling with anger at the sexism ripe in his statement. 
“How much must you be missing of your sweet angels lives to instead partake in the horrors of devils you shouldn’t have to witness.” 
Of course. 
You had a hard time not rolling your eyes at this or saying something harsh that would set him off. Instead, you reached up to Spencer’s arm around your shoulder, squeezing his fingers, trying to keep your patience.
“I’ll have you know that Y/N is an amazing mother.” Spencer piped up, knowing that Cyrus respected him enough as a man that he wouldn’t beat him simply for speaking up. “Her nurturing and caring makes her infinitely better at her job.” 
Again, you knew that there was so much personal truth in Spencer’s words. He thought that you would make an amazing mother to his children - at least theoretically. He was entirely firm in that conviction. And he thought that your natural caring made you amazing at the job you did as a Profiler. He knew this from the quality of work he witnessed you doing every single day. 
You didn’t know it - but it was just one of the many things that had caused him to fall in love with you. 
Oddly enough, Cyrus’ words prodded at something deep inside of you. It made you imagine a life for yourself where you weren’t spending your days witnessing horrors from unspeakable devils - but instead, at home, looking out for Spencer’s imaginary children. 
You would have said it was the fear of the day, clouding your mind. But maybe it was the clarity of being so close to death that made you realize what - and who - you truly wanted out of life. 
… 
Hours later, after some of the hostages had been released (the ‘non-believers’ who had failed the loyalty test), Cyrus had requested that some food be sent up. Spencer gave you a sharp look when he saw the message written on one of the takeout lids. 
The team would be storming in to end the hold-out at 3am. You had to somehow ensure the safety of the hostages by then. 
Obviously, the fake pregnancy idea was still warping through Spencer’s mind, but you had come up with some much better. 
“Cyrus,” You called out his name gently, getting his attention. “You said that you have a nursery here?” 
It had come up, during his long winded bragging about how perfect the Ranch was. Something about how mothers didn’t have to raise their children alone. The children were raised as more of a ‘group effort’ and women took ‘shifts’ in the nursery, allowing the women to rest or get chores done in the interim. 
“Yes, we do.” He nodded. 
Spencer stared at you with his jaw set, wondering what you were doing but not daring to speak. 
“I - I’ve been missing my children dearly. I was wondering if I could go to your nursery and see if they need any help? It would do my soul good to be around young ones right now. After all the commotion of these days.” You spoke meekly, trying to play the part of the shaken up, dainty woman well. 
Which was too difficult, seeing as you were playing up the fear you had already experienced. 
He grinned. It was a rather menacing smile, and you tried your hardest not to show any further fear, or disgust. 
“That sounds like a splendid idea.” He nodded. “Christopher, why don’t you escort her down to the nursery and then come back? We need you here for our final preparations.” 
You were finally falling to those gender roles that he had been pushing on you since you had arrived. He didn’t suspect a thing. He simply thought that you were a God fearing woman falling to your natural womanly instincts, needing to care for children lest your womb shrivel up and you die. 
Spencer rose from his seat and Cyrus stopped him. 
“Just your wife.” He said, putting a hand in front of Spencer’s chest to stop him. “There are still some things you and I need to discuss. Man to man.” 
You went over to Spencer and didn’t hesitate to plant a kiss firmly on his mouth, which he returned with vigor. This one lasted only a moment - it was something precious for the two of you. You didn’t need to put on some pointed show for the men in the room. 
“It’s okay.” You told Spencer quietly, brushing your fingers gently over his uninjured cheek. 
You could tell that he was dying to ask you what your plan was. But he kept the words trapped in his throat, unable to speak in front of the many temperamental villains lurking about. 
“Come on.” Christopher grunted. 
Spencer gave you a longing look as you left. He didn’t want to think it, but as he watched your figure retreat out the door, he feared that it would be the last time he ever saw you. 
… 
Your plan worked flawlessly. 
Getting to the nursery meant that you had unsupervised access to the women and children, especially away from Cyrus’ prying ears. Because you were a ‘delicate’ woman, nobody suspected you of having ulterior motives. You easily found a crack in Kathy, Jessica’s mother. You spotted her as the one who had made the original 9-1-1 call, wanting to get her daughter away from Cyrus. You convinced her to help you get everyone out, and you felt intense relief when you were met with a familiar face in the cellar as everyone escaped through the tunnels. 
“Where’s Reid?” Morgan easily asked you, glancing behind your shoulder as if waiting for him to appear. 
“He’s still up at the church.” You told him. “I had to separate off to help get the women and children out-” 
“Go on, we have to get you out!” Morgan urged, trying to gently usher you along. 
“We have to go get Reid!” You argued, trying to turn around. 
“Go, go on, I’ll go get Reid!” He told you. 
You were about to argue back, but you were cut off by a scuffle behind you. 
Jessica was yelling about Cyrus - how her mother had betrayed her, tricked her. 
Morgan pushed Kathy toward you and ran off screaming for Jessica. You took Kathy’s arm, gently convincing her that everything was going to be okay as you guided her the rest of the way out. You had to focus on this, convincing yourself that everything was going to be okay. You had to tell yourself that Derek was going to get Spencer out - that they were both going to be okay. 
When you got outside, you were hyper focused on marching away, taking a path away from the church as directed by the officers in charge. You froze in your tracks when you heard it - an earth shattering boom. The ground beneath your feet shook. You felt a puff of hot air swell to touch your back. 
You let go of Kathy’s arm and whipped around, and you couldn’t even pay attention to where she went. You almost thought you heard her weeping, but your mind couldn’t process it as your eyes were glossed in bright orange flame. 
It was the church. 
“Spencer?” You gasped quietly. “Spencer!” 
You couldn’t help it, but you began to run toward it. Your feet carried you faster than you could think, and before you got more than a few feet across the ground, you felt a sharp grip on your upper arm. 
“L/N!” 
Hotch’s voice, sounding far too distant for the position he held right behind you, viciously gripping onto you as you fought against him, trying to get toward the fire - trying to get to Spencer. 
“Hey! Hey! Stop it!” Hotch tried to order you around, tried to get you to stand down. 
He got a hand around your waist, and you continued to kick like a wild horse, fighting against his grip as hot tears poured down your face. 
“He’s in there!” You sobbed. “Spencer is still in there.” 
“Calm. Down.” Hotch ordered sharply. 
You collapsed back into him sobbing, all of the fight leaving your muscles at once. You couldn’t fake the reality in front of you. 
“You running in there and getting hurt isn’t going to change anything.” Hotch told you quietly, a somehow distant murmur into your ear. 
Through the blur of your tears and the sharp orange glow, you saw the shape of two bodies. You heard coughing as someone emerged from the blast, hobbling down the stairs at the front of the church. You forced your eyes open wider, trying to see who it was, and then: 
“Y/N!” Spencer called out your name gruffly through the smoke he had inhaled, and you easily shucked off Hotch’s grip to race up the stairs to get to him. 
He was leaning on Morgan for support and you were worried that he was hurt. But the moment you were close enough, he tore himself away from Morgan and the two of you met in the middle. In a pattern that was easily developing, you fell into the safety of his arms, holding him tight enough to bruise him - never wanting to let go. 
“You’re so stupid, you’re so stupid! Why would you do that to me?” 
You sobbed out, gripping both sides of his face, staring into his eyes, needing the recognition that he was right there, right in front of you. 
He stared back with glassiness - intense fear, adrenaline, and something small that told you he was thankful for you, and needed you now more than ever. 
Of course, your words were simple anger at the situation, not at Spencer himself. The terror of thinking that he was dead still pumping through your veins, causing you to shake. 
“I know.” He said quietly. “I love you.” 
His voice wrapped around the words so tenderly - it was the most sincere declaration you had ever heard from him. As if to say ‘I know how much that scared you. I know what this ordeal has done to us and I only meant it more because of how scared I am’. 
“I love you too.” The words flew from your lips so naturally it hurt. You took a moment to recover, entirely shocked by your own lips. And then, you only found the need to say it growing more inside of you. “Spencer, I love you.” 
You pulled him toward you with the grip you had on his face, and he easily met you in one of the most earth shattering kisses you had ever experienced. 
It was no longer a show, it was no longer about displaying the fake marriage for someone else’s benefit - if it had ever been about that in the first place. It was about the two of you. It was about feeling that comfort, that safety. It was about the fact that your two souls were drawn together since the day you had met. The fact that you had always felt safe with each other. You had always been the other person’s shelter from the storm. 
And you poured every ounce of those feelings into that kiss. 
You combed your fingers through Spencer’s hair, taking a harsh grip on the back of it, holding him there so he couldn’t pull away from your lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, fisting the back of your sweater. Both of you entirely refused to come up for oxygen, not even caring who saw the epically passionate, public display of your love for each other. 
Unbeknownst to you, Morgan and Hotch exchanged a look with raised brows as it happened. You and Spencer didn’t care. You were barely perceiving the world around you as the two of you kissed. 
“You know if you’re not careful, people are actually gonna think you two are married.” Morgan said, being his usual sarcastic self. 
Rather than pulling away from Spencer’s lips to sass him back - you simply flipped Derek off over Spencer’s shoulder. 
On the ride home, JJ handed Derek five dollars. He had the over/under that the two of you would get together before the end of the year. JJ said that it wouldn’t happen for another five years, at least. Derek handed the fiver to Emily when she reminded him that the ‘fake marriage’ bit had actually been her idea. 
When Emily and JJ relayed the story to Penelope, she squealed so loudly into the phone that JJ dropped it. 
Hotch pulled you aside later and warned you that the fake rings were just cheap costume jewelry that Garcia had gotten and they would tarnish soon if you kept wearing them. He also recommended that you and Spencer put in the paperwork with HR if you were ‘serious’ about the relationship. You knew that it was him wishing the two of you his best. 
A few days later when you came into work and found the HR request for an update of relationship status sitting on your desk, already signed by Spencer, you couldn’t help but to smile.
...
A/N: This is a oneshot, so there will not be a continuation or a sequel to it. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that I have written, rather than asking me to write 'more'. If you want to see more things that I have written about Spencer, feel free to check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist.
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mythicmanuscripts · 1 month
Note
(Also, Aemond is also a biter but that’s exclusively during sex when he’s completely overwhelmed and he bites hard enough to bruise. He always feels terrible afterwards but you think it’s a small price to pay to see him completely broken down by pleasure)
Hello sir/ma’am/gender neutral term to show respect, I have the physical need to hear further thoughts about this.
Maybe about the first time Aemond does this? And he’s a bit ashamed and all apologetic (he might even cry a little) because he didn’t mean to hurt reader!! But reader just felt so good, and he was so overwhelmed. And aftercare of course because our boi deserves it all
Of course! I’m utterly obsessed with anything to do with Aemond losing control and just letting himself feel.
Subby NSFW Aemond below the cut! It starts out a bit angsty but I promise it ends well.
So to start, Aemond prides himself on being put together and composed. He’s not his brother. No one will ever find him stumbling out of pubs and brothels in the early hours of the morning, nor will he ever make a fool of himself in court through a lack of knowledge. He is good, he is prepared, and he prides himself on his composure.
Except no one ever told him that falling in love can make a person lose all that composure. Perhaps if his first time wasn’t that brothel worker and he didn’t have such a screwed idea of sex that he wouldn’t touch another woman until his marriage, then perhaps he would have expected this. But of course that didn’t happen.
I also think a large part of his poor outlook on marriage would be from witnessing his parents' marriage? Anyone with eyes can see that Alicent is not even slightly in love and just doing what she thinks is best to gain power for herself and her children.
Aemond may avoid sexual contact after that brothel incident, but that's not to say he's naive in any way. He knows the guards would summon Alicent to Viserys's chambers where she would be forced to lay with him before returning to her own bed.
This, he believed, was what marriage meant for noble arranged couples. There was never intimacy or care or warmth, only ever duty and thinly veiled resentment.
So when he meets you for the first time and Alicent says you're to be his wife, he doesn't quite know what to expect but he certainly doesn't expect how reasonable you are? He never expected a friendship to form never mind a relationship and yet he found himself searching for you in crowded rooms before he had even said his vows.
You and Aemond get along better than anyone ever expected and well, Aemond has no fucking idea what to do now.
Pretty quickly you realise Aemond seems to have two states? He’s either cool and calm and very collected, every word he speaks is carefully chosen and no one can get under his skin or get him to reveal anything about himself. Or he’ll be very flustered and whiney and he can’t even string a sentence together, he’ll end up clingy and unsettled, shaking until you pull him into your arms and then only settling when he can hold onto you.
There is no in between. Aemond has never found an in between because he’s never been anything other than composed until you come along and suddenly he’s feeling a whole new range of emotions and for the first time he actually doesn’t want to be closed off?
(Sidenote: the single most important realisation Aemond has is when he realises he actually wants you to see that side of him? He loves you, and you love him, and you’re the one who has made him feel so warm and soft and so… so loved and he realises that he actually wants you to see that? You did that to him, you deserve to see how you effect him)
Anyway, let’s address the actual point now.
The first time things get really intense between the two of you is a few weeks into the marriage, once you're regularly kissing and cuddling and Aemond is beginning to rely on your touches and confidence. Maybe Aemond had even eaten you out a few times. It takes a while of Aemond refusing to let you reciprocate before he finally feels safe enough to let you touch him properly.
The first time you do, you end up stroking him while straddling his thighs. What really ruins him about this is how it goes against everything he ever expected? He's sitting in a comfortable chair besides the fireplace in your shared chambers, he's warm and safe and he feels so... at ease? There is none of the horrid vulnerability he experienced at the brothel but also now of the sterile nature he came to expect as a result of Alicent and Viserys.
Instead it's just... good? That't it. There's nothing complicated or hidden or anything. That's what makes him completely unravel, this unparalleled safety and love that just lets him let go.
He whines and cries and bucks his hips without any care for how pathetic he probably looks. He can't help it, especially not when you're smiling down at him and calling him pretty and stroking his cock.
When he gets close, he warns you and just tell him to let go.
He ends up gripping your hips hard and burying his head in your shoulder as he rides out an orgasm that takes his breath away. He doesn't even realise it until he pulls away, but he bit your shoulder pretty hard when he came.
You felt it of course, and it wasnt exactly pleasant, but the way he smiled at you once he recovered enough and slouches back against the chair without an ounce of tension in his body made it well worth it. He can bite you as many times as he likes if it means you get to see him like this.
He, of course, absolutely panics when he realises. He sees how your shoulder is already turning red and the only reason he hasn't ran out the room is that you're literally on his lap.
You try to reassure him that you arent upset, but your words seem to fall on deaf ears. In the end you have to grab the hair at the bottom his neck and tug hard enough that he stops speaking and gasps as his head gets pulled back. You keep him like that, keeping your grip on his hair tight, as you tell him that you arent upset, not at all. You tell him that you know it wasnt meant to hurt you, and also that you're fine. You arent upset, he's still so good for you.
He calms down enough then to be led to bed.
But the next morning is when a rather interesting development occurs. You wake up to discover a dark purple bruise on your shoulder in the shape of a bite mark. You can see exactly where his teeth were. You touch it and it stings, but you arent upset about it.
What really shocks you though is how when Aemond wakes and sees it, he kinda loses his mind? Not because he thinks he's hurt you, but because you have a mark from him. You've literally got his bite mark on your shoulder how the fuck is he supposed to function now??
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unoislazy · 10 months
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Jealous Mizu Headcanons
Disclaimer: A tad bit of NSFW is included in this so be warned
A/N: again, i apologize for not getting anything super extensive out. I thank you all for being so patient and so sweet!!
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Mizu’s not the type to be outwardly jealous.
She’ll get jealous but she won't say much about it, she’ll just let it fester inside her quietly until it gets to be too much and she needs an outlet.
More often than not that outlet is fighting (more on that later)
She would never think to label you as “hers”, you’re not an object that she can possess.
However, when it comes to other people being around you, she finds it very tempting to start.
Before either of you confessed, you had already made up a plan to act like you were a couple to avoid unwanted stares from men and women alike.
Turns out Mizu enjoyed that much more than she thought she would.
God help the person that decides to flirt with you while she's around
If that person happened to be Taigen? Forget the duel that man's dying TONIGHT
Mizu of course would recognize that you’re your own person and you can choose to be with whoever you want… but the thought of you choosing TAIGEN of all people is not a thought that would allow her to sleep well at night.
She would claim its for no other reason than she thinks you deserve better than a man who abandoned his engagement for honor
She wouldn’t be wrong but you wouldn’t have even been interested in Taigen in the first place so her coming up with all these reasons why you shouldn’t choose him would just be outing herself.
She refuses to come to terms with the fact that she feels jealous about anything
She would be deep in denial for as long as she could manage until someone finally calls her out on it.
Her jealousy causes her to become a tad bit possessive
She’s not the most secure person in the world when it comes to relationships no matter how hard she pretends to be
She would go above and beyond to try and make sure no one was going to try and lure you away from her.
NSFW Headcanons
(Pretty vague in favor of remaining gender neutral)
Remember how I said “More often than not that outlet is fighting”
Well the alternative to that involves you
It would be less about being possessive over you and instead it would be her way of proving to you she can give you more pleasure than anyone else
And she would without a doubt prove that successfully
She might not be incredibly experienced but you wouldn't have been able to tell that by the way she treated you
Despite her feelings she would actually be extremely gentle with you
It’s not your fault she's mad that other people also find you attractive, so she’d have no reason to be angry with you.
Which means praise. Lots and lots of praise
Constantly reminding you how pretty/handsome you look while beneath her
What, you thought she wasn’t going to pin you down? That’s like her signature move at this point, she’s GOING to be on top.
She would take an opportunity handed to her to tease you and usually that meant one of two things
She teased you with compliments
Or she teased you by stopping what she’s doing all together and having you beg for her to continue
Just cause she’s not mad at you doesn’t mean she can’t mess with you a little
Considering before this point she wouldn’t have been so open about her feelings you would’ve been taken by surprise
She would find it incredibly entertaining if you got embarrassed by all the sudden attention she started giving you
As rough as she deals with things in her everyday life I think she’d be a service dom honestly, in this specific instance at least.
She wants you and she wants you to know that.
She wants to sear it into your brain so any time you even so much as look at someone else all you’d get is a flashback to how good you felt with her.
She would not let you do anything for her, she wants to focus on you and only you
She would just enjoy knowing she was making you feel good and that’s all she’d need
If you tried keeping quiet, she would persuade you into letting go, she wants other people to know that she was the one making you feel good
Needless to say if Taigen had attempted to flirt with you before, he definitely knew not to now.
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bidisastersanji · 11 months
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Was thinking about French gendered terms and Zoro trying to suss out if Sanji’s into men and I had some thoughts and oops now i wrote a thing so here you go:
In the early days Zoro drives himself nuts trying to figure out if Sanji bats for his team too or not. He listens in intently whenever the conversation steers the cook towards talk of his past dalliances, but, just his luck, none of the words used indicate their gender. And there ain’t no fucking way in hell he’s asking him or anyone on the crew directly, lest they immediately understand how bad he has it for the stupid cook.
He bides his time, surely someday he’ll slip up and mention something about the people he’s slept with, right? And sure enough one day, at a feast, a drunken Usopp starts asking what people’s types are. His face still schooled into a nonchalant, neutral expression, he does his best to hide how desperately he waits for Sanji to speak up about his type, only to once again be met with more general terms about people- someone with a kind heart, dependable, an equal… he’s so concentrated on trying to pick out any gendered terms he doesn’t notice the weird look Nami throws his way at each new descriptor in Sanji’s list of desirable traits.
He’s always known Sanji speaks French, finding it endearing whenever the cook curses (even at him), whenever he goes into small little rants to himself, or the face he makes when he can only think of a word in French, rapidly snapping his fingers until it comes back to him. But it’s only when they get to a town where Sanji starts speaking to a vendor excitedly about his produce that he realizes just how much this thing, this endearing thing that’s always been there, truly affects him, and his face burns at how different the cook’s voice sounds when he actually speaks it, how enchantingly low and throaty the foreign syllables ring in his ears.
Attached to living another day, he decides that stealing a book from Robin is a bad idea, and resigns himself to ask her directly for a favour. He swallows his pride and asks if she can lend him a French learning book and a dictionary, curious as to whether he can learn it a bit, and understand whatever the hell Sanji keeps cursing and muttering about around him, and what kinds of insults he’s been throwing his way. With her ever mysterious smile plastered on her face, a chain of Robin’s arms retrieve two books from her library and hand them to him. “Do come to me if you have any questions, Mr. Swordsman. My French is pretty good if I do say so myself.”
He’s out of the room, red as a beet, before she even finishes that sentence.
Learning the curse words comes to him unsurprisingly quickly given how often he hears a litany of « putain de merde », « fait chier! » and « enfoiré! » spilling from the blonde’s distracting mouth.
He’s very happily surprised when he learns that French is apparently a heavily gendered language- and that he can glean someone’s gender just from whether the adjectives applied to the subject are masculine or feminine. Now if the stars aligned and the cook would talk about his love life in French…
Zoro starts by going through the basic first chapters, taking great pains to hide and quickly dissimulate it in his haramaki anytime someone walks in on him- especially the witch. It definitely changes his usual routine on his watch in the crows nest, he muses to himself.
Weeks, months pass, and he advances further in the lessons, his vocabulary slowly growing, while he often goes to his dictionary for the more… colorful insults Sanji throws his way. He never says a word of French himself, not knowing how he could even justify knowing any without looking suspicious, and pretty sure his pronunciation would be way off anyways. But he starts to really enjoy it, being able to understand even a tenth of the things Sanji thinks he can say without the crew (save Robin) understanding.
And then Saobaody happens. And now he doesn't have time to think about learning French, not if he wants to get strong enough. Not if he wants to protect his crew.
He's at the table with Mihawk and Perona when his mentor asks for the salt (Passez moi le sel, s'il vous plait), and he executes himself without thinking. A quiet settles over the room and he looks up to see those intense red eyes boring into him, unnerving as ever.
"You speak French?"
"Not really," he grumbles, not wanting more excuses to think of the shitty cook, and his shitty cooking, and his stupid curly brow.
"Then you will. Consider this a natural continuation of my trying to beat some manners into your brutish mind."
Two years later, and he can't wait for dartbrow to show up. His pronunciation may still be shit, but he can't wait to use his newfound skill to his advantage.
With his now solidified grasp of the language, he slowly begins to understand that what he at first though was a mistake on his part- that he must’ve missed a part of a sentence, or mixed up some words- was not an error at all. It turns out, some of the French things that Sanji yells at him aren’t insults at all.
In fact… they’re sometimes downright complimentary.
And that's definitely a problem for Zoro, who now not only needs to keep pretending that he doesn’t know what Sanji is saying, but needs to pretend he doesn’t understand it when Sanji screams at him that he has a “stupidly pretty face” or that his “tits are even bigger than Nami’s and how is that even fair” . He doesn't know what to make of it.
And then one day… the stars align.
It’s another post battle party, and the cook has been drinking a bit more than usual, a tightly gripped glass of wine in his left hand, a cigarette in his right. Zoro is nursing his very own barrel of Ale when he hears the conversation turn to more gossipy topics, as it usually does the further into the night they are.
“Chopper was really into that nurse on Zou, wasn’t he?” Usopp starts to poke fun at the crew’s youngest member, laughing as the reindeer turns all red and tries to deny it.
“I mean it makes sense that she’d be his type! Right Nami?”
Nami nods at him, grinning wickedly. “Yeah, not all of us can be into rich little blonde girls can we?”
“You’re right, some of us are into rich blue-haired princesses,” he shoots back.
"At least I had the balls to do something about it before I left her island-"
Zoro is already tuning them out when Sanji sits down next to Robin just a few feet away, across from him and the campfire, his tongue loosened from a few too many refills and unconsciously reverting to his native tongue.
"Ils ont de la chance, ces deux là." he gestures to Usopp and Nami. (They're lucky, these two.)
Robin smiles at the cook, wordlessly prompting him to continue his thoughts.
"Qu'est ce que je donnerais pour pouvoir avoir quelque chose de plus qu'un coup d'un soir." Sanji sighs wistfully, lighting his cigarette. (What I wouldn't give to have something more than a one night stand.")
Robin chuckles. "Ne sont-ils pas satisfaisants?" (Are they not satisfying?)
At this point Zoro has tuned everything out, intensely focused on hearing what the blonde has to say, and not at all feeling a small churn of jealousy in his stomach for whoever shared Sanji's bed. His heart initially skips a beat at the plural masculine pronoun ('ils') used by Robin before remembering its actual neutrality in this context, as it's referring to the ""one night stands", a masculine word. Damnit. French is so dumb.
"Tu sais bien que je ne dirais jamais de mal à propos des belles demoiselles qui ont bien voulu m'accorder ne serait-ce qu'un baiser ou une étreinte. J'ai de la chance rien que d'avoir pu exister en leur présence."
(You very well know I'd never say a bad word about any of the beautiful ladies who've been kind enough to give me even a kiss or an embrace. I'm lucky just to have existed in their presence.)
Zoro feels his heart drop, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach. He's always known the pervert cook has been into women. Why was this confirmation hitting him the way it was? His eye darts up at his two crewmates, confirming that only Robin has noticed his eavesdropping. She opens her mouth to say something but Sanji continues, the glow of the flames dancing against his flushed skin beautifully.
"Et dans mon état normal tu sais que, par respect pour les sensibilités d'une dame, je ne te divulge pas beaucoup de détails sur ceux qui font l'affaire le temps d'une nuit. "
(And in my normal state you know that, out of respect for a lady's sensibilities, I don't divulge many details about those who do the trick for a night.)
Ceux. That's a masculine word for "those", isn't it? Zoro shakily takes another sip of his drink.
The archeologist's smile widens. "Oh, ne te fait pas de soucis pour mes sensibilités. Je brûle d'envie d'en savoir plus, et ne m'épargne pas les détails..."
(Oh, please don't worry about my sensibilities. I'm burning to know more, and don't spare me the details...)
"Je ne suis que ton humble serviteur...si ça peut te faire plaisir" (I'm but your humble servant…if it pleases you). Sanji's cheeks seem a tad more flushed than before. "En vrai ce n'est pas qu'ils ne sont pas satisfaisants...c'est qu'il ne sont jamais... assez."
(It's not that they're not satisfying…it's that they're never...enough.)
"Ah? Et que recherches tu? Qu'est ce qui serait..."assez"?"
(Ah? And what are you looking for? What would be… "enough"?)
The cook exhales another cloud of smoke, and nervously looks around. His eyes settle on Zoro, and indecision flits across his eyes for a second before continuing. Zoro can feel his gaze, can almost make out the deliciously unfocused expression on the blonde's face in his peripheral vision as he continues speaking French. His heart feels like it might beat out of his ribcage.
"Lui." (Him.)
Zoro forgets how to breathe.
Part 2 up now , and part 3 part 4
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kalki-tarot · 6 months
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Your First Date with your Fs! 💌
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Pick only one picture. Kalki tarot is not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from this reading(s). Use your brain and be mindful.
Please Allow me to tap into your energy.
Tap on Masterlist for more.
Pile 01
For some of you this date may be through arranged marriage or some female member from your family will first introduce you to them.
For others I'm getting that you may have 2 options to choose from, and you choose them after a lot of thinking and introspecting. Because i see you really wanting someone long term.
I'm seeing that your fs could be someone very shy and introverted on the first date, they may not really seem that talkative you know? Those people who only talk when nessecary.
This will take place when you are in some really busy or hardworking phase in your life. Maybe you just started a new job or you are a very busy person in general. The first date can be near water, like beach, seas, lakes etc. This can also take place in an amusement park.
Before the date you will be very anxious about what will happen and what not. Very scattered energy and overthinking is coming from your side. But anyhow, you really look forward to it and future of you guys together. If you last long or not? All these thoughts will cover up your mind.
For some of you, I'm also seeing that you may not be able to sleep a day before the date due to excitement, racing hearts and thoughts lol. You really are very anxious about it.
On the other hand, you future spouse too seems to be a little worried. They are someone who were heartbroken in the past, they were too giving in relationships but never received enough. So these thoughts may resurface and they may start to overthink too. They will be curious to know if you are someone genuine and trustworthy or like their old partners.
Okay, let's see how the actual date will be! I'm seeing that your fs may insist to pay even if they have less amount of money, such a gentleman/woman. The feminine (not gender specific) in the connection may take a lead throughout the date as they may have planned it all together.
I'm also seeing you guys talking about your future visions and goals. All the things you desire to do and achieve in your life. You both may have similar goals or interests which will be very interesting. You may also talk about some intellectual topics like politics or Philosophy.
Your chemistry together would be fabulous. Like two puzzle pieces perfectly joining together and making sense. The date will be very nice, so don't worry about it. Just be yourself and show your true self. I'm also seeing you guys will want to have another date too. You both will look forward to meeting each other again. Lovely!
Pile 02
Wow! This date will be a surprise for you. Your fs won't tell u where they are taking you, as it will be a surprise for you. I'm also getting a scenario where you are literally blindfolded and when they show you the place you get very surprised.
Your fs can be a foreigner for some of you. This date will be in a different location or country than you live in currently. The date will be fun and entertaining. Your fs may buy or gift you a small piece of jewellery to keep as a memory.
The masculine will literally dress up their best on the first date ! I'm seeing someone putting on white shirt and perfume. This date can happen at a formal place like a fancy restaurant or bar. They would want to smell and look their best.
I'm also seeing that you guys may drink wine together as I'm seeing them pouring you a glass. They will talk about what you expect from them and whatever they can provide for you in the relationship. They are someone very selfless and giving.
For the feminines, I'm seeing that she was forced to show up on this date by their friend or family member. She is very busy and had to take out time from her schedule. The feminine will really show up in a silky satin dark purple and shiny dress. She will look very sexy and appealing. The masculine will get swayed by her appearance lmao.
About the actual date, I'm seeing love at first sight. You guys will fall for each other and you will be surprised by how great you two match together. You will be amazed by how different your ideologies are but still you guys do great together. You will take this as a sign as they are the one for you.
One thing specifically I'm getting is that please specify and clear your past in front of your fs on the first date itself. Some people may try to ruin things for you. please be careful and don't lie to your fs about anything. They are very understanding and will understand you.
You should also consider to have another date, as I'm seeing confusion for you. Take things slow and steady.
Pile 03
This date will happen after you've got stable in your career and now you wanna explore love in your life. For some I'm also seeing that you will be in your 30s when this date takes place, take whatever resonates. It's never too late for love.
You may consult your friends or even a tarot reader before the date for necessary precautions because Your mind will feel somehow conflicted and underconfident. But your angels will be supporting you.
Wow, for your fs i can see that they really are in love with you and want to propose you for marriage as soon as possible. It's because they love you so much and don't wanna lose this great opportunity.
They will be daydreaming about you and trying to brush up their flirting skills. They really wanna woo you fr.
You guys can meet in a hospital or a court, some strict and structured place is what i can see. Or their/your profession can be lawyer, doctor, teacher, professor etc.
Your first date can be in a zoo, animal shelter, park, or you can try pottery,painting or some hand craft thing on your first date.
This occasion will heal your inner child a lot. You will finally be at peace and feel like home with your person. You'll feel better and lighthearted. You won't even realize how fast the time passes. You will get this feeling on the first date itself that they are your counterpart, the one you're meant to be with. It will feel serendipitous.
I can also see that your fs has both fire and water signs in their chart prominently.
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cxlamarisalxmi · 1 year
Text
Being Miguel’s daughter and hosting Venom [2]
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[Platonic One-Shot]
c/w: fighting, depictions of violence and gore, angst, female pronouns (she/her), feminine gendered terms used to describe reader, Venom is a big softie, only for you though 🤭
a/n: this is marked as part two because the first one shot was the first part, the drabble was more of an introduction to the idea 😭 I understand there might be some confusion about how these parts are set up but yeah the drabble was intended to introduce the idea more than it was meant to be an actual part of the series— like an extended epigraph… sort of
It was raining the day your father had decided to return to your dimension— the dark and gloomy rain clouds above thick and heavy as they devoured the sky.
With them they brought raindrops thick and heavy in density that were spat out in a torrential downpour. Falling in copious and rapid quantities.
You had been sitting perched on the corner of a building’s roof, observant and watchful as you patrolled the streets from your perch.
The darkness that had followed the overcast night sky left the street lamps and starkly bright city lights bright and prominent in their glow. And your sensitive and finely tuned auditory perception picked up on the sounds of tires driving through rainwater on the pavement. The sound of particularly nocturnal people walking, bustling and moving about— the way their shoe soles stepped on the soaked through concrete of the sidewalk, some splashing as they came across puddles in the divets of the ground.
Everything that involved your senses and being aware of the world around you sharpened dramatically, now keen on focusing on the world around you. Listening starkly for any kind of traumatic event occurring.
“I like the rain.”
“Me too.”
“The atmosphere is relaxing. We feel at peace.”
You couldn’t help but agree, the weather more than accommodating in the sense your mood had improved drastically.
It had been two weeks since your father had made his appearance, and since then you had been tightly wound and more than a little hurt at his abrupt intrusion. Even more hurt at the way he had just left without so much as an ounce of effort in trying to get you to talk to him.
He had called your name, and he did speak to you— that was something you could acknowledge, but the fact he hadn’t bothered trying beyond that spoke a lot about what your relationship had come to. What it still was.
He didn’t care about you, he never had and the encounter from a little less than half a month ago gave you the impression that he never would.
A small part of you could admit that you had hoped maybe he would come after you, chase you down, take you into his arms and hold you tenderly. Lovingly.
An even larger part overwhelmed that feeling with a cold and bitter indifference that made you more angry than sad. Sparked to life when he left you behind in a home you didn’t know, with people you didn’t trust— and festered to much more significant levels as the years continued to pass with not a single word from him.
You shouldn’t have expected him to make an effort to fix your relationship, and you hated that you were so bothered that he hadn’t tried at all. You should’ve known that he hadn’t ever intended to be involved with you at all. And you should’ve just accepted that your relationship was beyond fixing— and there was no point in trying to repair something that had died a long time ago. Irreparable— damaged and broken.
And whilst anger and hate had spread and taken over most of your heart and soul, there was still a small part inside that was more hurt than anything.
That small child inside that had depended on her father more than ever in the wake of her mother’s death. A little girl that had quickly learned he wasn’t dependable, she couldn’t count on him at all. And she was quick to learn that there wasn’t anyone who had her back, was on her side. It developed into her trusting absolutely no one— “the only one I can really trust.. is me.”
“[Y/Name]? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” you murmured quiet and tame as you continued to watch over the city. The darkness and ache that had consumed your heart so very deeply at the remembrance of your father had dissipated when your friend had spoken to you. “I’m fine V.”
“Was it about him?”
You didn’t respond and they had expected that you wouldn’t, and didn’t say much after that. And you appreciated their understanding that you didn’t want to talk about them.
There was a moment of tranquility, peace in the loud bustle of your city as the rain continued to fall. But then your senses tingled as the familiar sound of a portal spinning open erupted behind you. There wasn’t a moment of stillness that you allowed before you were spitting webs at the wall behind the portal.
Miguel walked through the portal a moment later, it closed a second after and then you were launching yourself at him.
He may have not had the tingle at the expense he wasn’t even really changed like you had been. He hadn’t been bitten but had his genetic code changed, and his abilities came from a vial of liquid he injected directly into his bloodstream to keep his powers sharp and potent.
So, whilst he didn’t have the spider senses that tingled anytime danger was nearby, his natural instincts had been sharpened finely. Thus, he was able to bring up his arms as you drop kicked him into the wall you had slung your webs at.
Even though he was blocking his face protectively you had put enough strength behind the kick to hurt him, and he grunted as your kick connected sending him flying back.
[Y/Name] jumped to meet him against the brick wall and grabbed him by the throat, tightening her clawed fingers around his neck before she was pulling him from the wall and throwing him off the building to the street below.
The previous feeling of peace and content that had warmed her chest and blood had diminished, and was now replaced with thorough rage. Hot and ferocious.
[Y/Name] had sworn to Venom that she absolutely would resort to murder if her father ever returned to her universe, and here he was. So the alien didn’t falter nor make an effort to halt the anger that was slowly but surely filling his host’s body.
Another portal opened up behind her and she felt an itch of annoyance as she felt the familiar presence that made her senses tingle. Jessica Drew.
A snarl tugged at her features as she curled her lip and looked over her shoulder, a ferocious glare fierce and angry in her bright eyes.
“Venom.”
“Of course.”
Jessica stared as a thick, black matter pooled from her back and slid across her lean and muscular frame. The alien-like viscous oil gliding across every plane of her frame, concealing her entire white and blue suit in a tightened black version of it instead.
“[Y/Name],” Jessica began soft and quiet— an attempt to somehow quell the furious fire of rage she could feel hot and angry from where she stood several feet behind the young teenager. “I know what you must be feeling—”
“You don’t know shit.”
“You want to kill him. And I can’t let you do tha—”
Her sentence was cut short when she was suddenly thrown backwards, her senses had tingled but not nearly quick enough. And she had been sent backwards to the brick wall in consequence, she gaped at the O’hara stood in front of her on the edge of the roof.
She had turned to face Jessica with her back, and the blackened webbing surrounding her body seemed to pulse and tightened around her body. Every time she squirmed attempting to loosen them, cut them or escape they would just tighten. She resorted to calling out to [Y/Name] instead—
“Spider-Woman doesn’t kill people!”
[Y/Name] willed her mask to peel away, the small and thin tendrils crawling up her neck and hugging her forehead only made the harsh glare she threw at Jessica over her shoulder much darker. The snarl she gave baring abnormally sharp canines seemed to make her even more intimidating— it made Jessica uncomfortable how a simple look made a chill rake down her back.
“You’re right. But we do.”
And she shivered again at the alien voice that rumbled from the young adult’s chest. The words she spoke only succeeding in making her all the more uncomfortable and frightened. The tone she spoke in was deep and ferociously monstrous. And Jessica stared as the O’hara glared back for a single second before she jumped disappearing over the side of the roof.
[Y/Name] landed on the sidewalk paved along the side of the asphalt road, she jumped forward flipping out of the way as her father shot a web at the spot she occupied previously.
But he had jumped to meet her midair and they grappled as they fell back to the road, she managed to wrangle a hold on the back of his suit and brought forth Venom’s strength to throw him down the road before landing on it herself.
Miguel’s sharpened instincts flared aggressively as his young daughter launched a car at him. He spun around extending his arm forward simultaneously— the long and sharp blade on his forearm cutting the car cleanly in half. But she had been there to surprise him, lunging forward after she had thrown the car knowing he’d cut it in half opening up an ambush as she erupted in between each piece of the vehicle.
He gasped silently in shock at her appearance through the split and grunted when her punch connected to his face. Enough strength from her abilities coupled with Venom to send him flying back. And he flipped midair to land on his feet several feet down the street, he dug the blades on his forearms into the pavement to halt his movement as he looked up.
“I suffered! Alone! For twenty years, because of your cowardice!” [Y/Name] shouted as she stormed down the street, the mask Venom provided peeling back to reveal a ferocious snarl tugging her lips back and baring abnormally sharper canines.
“Protecting the security of the multiverse is not cowardly!”
“You knew invading another universe at the expense of your variant’s death was wrong! You knew your presence could collapse the very fabrics of a dimension! You always knew!” She roared in exclamation to his rather weak defense, having stopped just a few feet in front of him to properly put her feelings forward. Give him everything she had bottled up inside that had erupted suddenly since his abrupt appearance in her dimension two weeks ago.
Miguel just stood there, he swallowed thickly at her statement as he held eye contact with her. There wasn’t any indication he was intimidated by her on his face, his expression blank and guarded with slanted brows and narrowed eyes. But internally he was dreading the fight that would no doubt occur, she was anomoly after all.
“But— when she told you she was pregnant, when she told you she was excited to start your family.. what did you do? What did you do? You. Ran!”
“She was never meant to bear children! Never meant to give birth to you— that was not my fault!”
The audacity he had to ruin her life and not even acknowledge it only made [Y/Name] all the more furious, her blood boiling beneath her skin as she tightened her vicious snarl. “Not your fault?!”
[Y/Name] advanced forward, she reached to her left— her muscular forearm flexing beneath the deep black Venom suit as she gripped the side of another car and effortlessly lifted it throwing it at him.
He jumped to the side to dodge but she was there to meet him once again, having leapt from her spot on the street to put her knee in his face. He couldn’t bring his arms up quick enough to block it this time, and she forced him backwards when she utilized Venom’s alien strength to really hurt him.
Miguel grunted as her strike connected and he was thrown into the side of the building off to the side. She followed right behind him tearing her arm back and throwing it forward the second she was close enough. The hit had enough power and strength in it to send him right through the brick wall and into the empty warehouse within.
[Y/Name] landed several feet away from the form of her father on the ground, he was slow to get back to his feet but once he had he turned to face her. And she could tear his throat out at the scowl carved into his features, the conversation that followed only making her all the more infuriated.
“I’m not here for any other reason than to capture the anomaly in your dimension.” He says, a still blank and guarded look on his face. One that his young daughter matched only to a degree that looked more like she was enraged rather than unbothered.
“There’s no anomaly here, Venom and I would’ve picked up it’s unnatural scent immediately.” She reasoned.
“You wouldn’t know of it’s presence. Because it’s you.”
“What?”
“You are an anomaly, you were never meant to be born.. never meant to be bitten… never meant to host Venom. You don’t belong. You need to be contained.”
[Y/Name] froze, Venom inside stilling too as he and herself processed the words that had just fell from her father’s mouth. All was quiet for but a moment—
“You…”
Miguel watched as a dark look overtook her features, from enraged previously to downright hostile as her eyes darkened to an unseen degree. He felt a shiver of fear and intimidation shuck down his back in a brief burst.
“You bastard.”
The snarled words growled from her throat sent another ripple down his spine. And he swallowed thickly as the deep black viscous matter of Venom returned, and then she bore the same appearance as before.
The same lean and muscular frame but now entirely black with a white spider insignia, her mask’s eyes now more monstrous-like as opposed to the regular diamond shape as most spider people.
“Fine.”
[Y/Name] Venom snarled ferociously, Miguel watched as the alien bulked up his daughter. Not so much so that it wasn’t proportionate but enough to have him breathe out a brief exhale of uncertainty and anxiety.
His daughter had become powerful in his absence, and he had caused the black hatred to plague her heart. The fact she only looked at him with hate and a fiery light of murder and bloodthirsty rage was his fault and his fault alone. He had no one to blame but himself.
So, he really had no one to blame for this fight that would occur one way or another. He wasn’t sure he could beat her, and for the first time in a long while he felt a surge of anxiousness brew to life in his stomach. His heartbeat slightly erratic at the new feeling of diminished confidence in his chest.
He knew this would be hard, he knew he was walking into this fight with a significant power difference, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t certain he’d keep his head. And Miguel had no one to blame for it—
But himself.
a/n: started writing out requests so expect to see those soon but don’t get too excited as I can’t promise when exactly they’ll be finished and posted, my classes are kicking my ass and my job fucking sucks so.. bear with me please and I hope you enjoyed!
Taglist: @violilaqrs @christinesdemoness1958 @erensbbg @nickey-diano @gamersansblog @ayyybee @raweggeater @shrekstoesblog @azzy-ozborn @nda-approval @9kaaulitz @jazjelspen @myconglomerateromance @sweetheartlizzie07 @nyx-does-stuff @krazy-kattzz @sparklyphantom @loser-alert @bath1lda
Sorry if I missed you on the taglist!
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not-neverland06 · 3 months
Note
hello, I was wondering if you could do a female reader x Vincent Sinclair. Where the reader is very needy. Like she constantly just wants to be around him. They don't have to be talking just being around him is fine. If you don't write for house of wax that's fine. If you do this thank you. Have a good day!
Thank you for the request, I hope you like it. As I’m posting this I realized I kind of made the reader gender neutral because I never actually used pronouns. 🤍 gn!reader
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You’re overwhelming, to say the least.
And that’s being kind. 
Vincent was his mother’s favorite, but even she had to cover his face. She might have favored him over Bo, but she didn’t love him, not the way a mother should. 
At least, that’s what you told him. 
Vincent was never sure if he should believe you or not. Bo had instilled in him that their mother was a saint. It was hard to lose that idealized image of her and replace it with the one you presented. But with the way you clung to him, hovered around him without a word, he started to wonder if maybe you had a point. 
Growing up, he wasn’t allowed to take the mask off. If he had to eat, his parent’s didn’t watch. He didn't know if it’s because he was so grotesque to them or because they couldn’t stand to see their failure. His mother was an artist, his father a doctor, yet somehow, they had created him. Formed him into this ugly and deformed creature. 
He struggled to reconcile with the fact that, maybe, someone truly could love him. He struggled with coming to terms that someone as kind as you, could love him. Most days he didn’t believe you. He would watch you carefully while you sat by his side. 
He waited for the inevitable, a look of disgust, a flinch when he came near. It never happened. He figured you were biding your time, sweetening him up and getting him to trust you before you made your escape. It wouldn’t be the first time one of the victims had done that to him. 
He almost wished he was right, that you were just a liar. He waited for you to slip up so he’d have a reason to keep you here forever in Ambrose. But you never did. Each day, you grew bolder, your presence nearly suffocated him. 
You don’t always touch him, you rarely ever talk. Your days are simply spent lingering around him, watching him work or reading while he sculpts. It’s odd, going from so many years on his own in his workshop to suddenly having a constant presence. 
He wonders why you don’t just go with Bo. He was the more handsome twin, more charming and funny. He could talk, he could walk around without a mask and be comfortable with himself. There was a clear language barrier between you and Vincent. 
His sign language was choppy at best because he’d had to learn it on his own. Bo and Lester learned some for him, but the family was pretty against it. You struggled to decipher his odd language but you still tried. He didn’t understand the effort. There was a “better” brother to choose from and, still, you stuck with him. 
Just as he looks over at you, you move from your spot by his desk. His fingers loosen around the tools in his hand while he watches you. You stretch, back bowing and a low groan leaving you as you finally move for the first time all day. You shoot him a smile before heading up the stairs out of his workshop. 
He stills and listens to the way your footsteps echo across the floorboards above him. You’re in the living room, you give a muffled greeting to Jonesy before heading towards the kitchen. His hands fidget restlessly with his tools but he can’t bring himself to get back to work. 
He hates when you go upstairs without him. He’s worried that one day he’ll hear the door open and close and he won't be able to get upstairs in time to get you back. He worries that he’ll hear Bo and you together upstairs, either in a fight or doing something worse. 
But you always come back. You’re never away from him for longer than you need to be. Your footsteps rush back towards the stairs and he feels some of the tension leave him. 
When you come back downstairs, a plate of food for you both, he pulls your chair closer to him. A silent invitation to stay close, one you eagerly accept. You sit beside him, leaning over his shoulder, and admire the sketches splayed out across his desk. 
You reach out, before he can stop you, and tug at the corner of one, pulling it out from under the others. Your eyes rove over the drawing of yourself, one of you sleeping on the couch he now keeps down here for you. You smile and glance up at him. When you lean forward and press a kiss against his masked cheek he wonders if maybe he needs you around just as much as you need him. 
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end. — I do not own the characters or the movie House of Wax, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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project-sekai-facts · 2 months
Note
Wait An/Kohane have outright stated romantic interest?
poor wording on my end bc they never actually say "an and kohane like each other romantically" but the evidence it very much there and it is clearly depicted and phrased in other ways. for example: the shoujo sparkle effect that is used for An from Kohane's POV.
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This effect is often used on Haruka in Minori's imagination, which, well, let's just say it doesn't disprove that Kohane is attracted to An. While the effect is also used to show a character being cute or having a strong "idol" aura without any attraction attached, it's prettly clear the intent was to show Kohane's attraction. Also she was blushing.
Bonus points to the fact the wedding event has a underlying message (they say it on screen) about how marriage should be equal regardless of the genders of the couple [because gay marriage currently isn't legal in Japan].
There's also literally everything in Buddy Funny Spend Time. While almost all of the interactions in that event can be read as platonic if you really want to, they're written so you can interpret it as romantic if you choose to. And considering the featured pairs in this event were Minori/Haruka, An/Kohane, and (briefly) Shizuku/Airi, it's not like that reading isn't supported by the writers lol. There's one part where Minori and Kohane get jealous of how close Haruka and An are as childhood friends and aren't sure if they can amount to that, but they want to try. Doesn't necessarily have to be romantic but can be if you choose to read it as such.
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When Kohane is visibly attracted to Haruka, An gets slightly jealous and says that her singing should be the only thing that makes Kohane react that way.
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Haruka also points out that although An has always been super friendly she's never been like this with anyone until Kohane came into her life, and still keeps this behaviour Kohane-exclusive. An says it's because they're partners, which, kinda friendzones them, but kinda doesn't.
The word for partner used in the story - "aibou" - means, to put it in incredibly basic terms, coworkers. It's like the cowboy or detective word for partner, though I believe it comes up in shounen every so often (the genre vbs story is based on). In itself, aibou has no romantic connotation. But 3 of the partnerships we see in VBS' story have lots of interactions that easily read as having romantic undertones, so basically in the context of VBS story the nature of said partnerships becomes a little more ambiguous. The word is still platonic and that doesn't change, but you get the idea. Oh and VBS has recurring romantic soulmate imagery more on that later.
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continuing on BFST, yeah they went on a date. which is strongly suggested to be a romantic date unlike how it's sometimes used platonically. like the other characters say An is "seeing someone", at least in the English translation, which is very much associated with romantic interest. Also the original Japanese for the "do you know who she's going out with" line uses the phrase デートの相手 which is the Japanese equivalent for the word "date" (as in a person/your date), so it's not really any different. they go on another one in Kick it up a notch and An's card story for the event. their relationship is never labelled or anything (probably bc this genre avoids that sorta thing for fan-related reasons) but this very much was a thing that happened.
(also when ken says partner he says aibou. so not partner /r but anyway it does clarify that this date is to do with their relationship on a different level to partners /p. ie: an's going on a date with kohane because she's cute not because she's her partner. language is fun)
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Lastly back on that thing I said I'd come back to. The Walk on and on costumes have romantic soulmate symbolism included on them. The wings on the backs of the outfits are based on the mythical hiyoku bird, a one-winged bird that could only fly after meeting its other half. Kohane's costume has pink accents, one of the variants has accents in An's image color and the wings on the backs of those variants match up to each other. The card illstrations themselves also feature crows, which mate for life. While the symbolism is mostly associated with Toya, the Whip the Wimp Girl! cards take place in the same location as the woao cards which is pretty neat, and makes sense given the themes of both events. I've put both their gacha logos above as well. Oh and An's card for wtwg was. Something.
And Kohane got the valentine event this year and it was about her entering a contest to win limited edition chocolates for An I forgot about that until just now.
Have fun with that.
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