#and since I've been struggling recently with sitting down to write

[annaraebananawriter]

👒 nicest thing you've done to your characters

🍓 worst thing you've done to your characters

Let's ignore that this is a few days late. I got distracted and forgot about it until now.

👒 nicest thing you've done to your characters

Nicest thing I've done to my characters...now this is a real challenge for me, considering I mainly write angst and rarely give them something nice. However, anytime I write them hanging out with family, it's usually very wholesome. It usually stays very fluffy and sweet with just a few sprinkles of angst.

I also tend to always give them hot chocolate, too. So: the nicest thing I've done to them is having them hang out with family and drink hot chocolate.

🍓 worst thing you've done to your characters

Now, this is hard to decide. There are a lot of bad things I've done. But which holds the title of worst?

I actually think that it's a scene I have written for ESTT, near the end of the first book, where a character is introduced and is killed at the end of the chapter. It's the only time we ever see their pov. And I'll say it again: the chapter will end with this scene. Not only will the character be killed, but many of the readers' hearts will also be.

[elliezato]

❀˙⋆Summer With You⋆˙❀

Pairing: Ellie x Reader

-Modern au!

Summary: You and your friends decide to rent out a cabin on the beach over the summer. This was your last summer before leaving for college, so you wanted to make it memorable. This summer was going to be perfect. You spent your days in the water, taking In the moments in the sun with your friends.

It didn't take long for you to realize your feelings for your best friend Ellie.

The way her wet hair drips down her shoulders as she gets out of the water. The way her fingers strum the guitar as you gather around the fire. The way the stars light her eyes during late night swims. The way her smile grows when she’s with her girlfriend… It's all too much.

Will these feelings ruin your friendship and the whole summer? What will happen when it's time to leave Ellie behind for college?

Word Count: 4.4k

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a/n: Im back!! I've been in the summer mood recently and I just need to be laying out by the lake rn. I recently read "SYNS" by carmellie and was inspired to make this! I've really been wanting to write a slow burn, angst fic so I hope this turns out good.

I will probably split this story into a few parts depending on how long I want this to be.

This will be my first real fic because honestly I've only written smut in the past and I'm not sure if I like writing stuff like that. I might add a little bit of it every now and then in my stories but it's not something I want to continue to write.

Anyway, I'm super exited for this story! Please give me ideas for future chapters! I love to hear feedback on how to improve or what you guys like.

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Packing your bag was the only thing you weren't looking forward to doing on this trip. You always over packed and struggled to fit everything in your bags. Clothes and shoes were thrown all over your room as you pick out what you should pack. This trip is going to be 2 months long so you need enough clothes to last through the summer but not too much that your car will be over flowing.

"Eww, do not bring that" Dina says in disgust as you hold up an old one piece bathing suit from freshmen year.

You knew she was right, but you didn't have many options when It came to bathing suits. You packed it anyway, along with some other suits from the previous summer. The sun shined through your window, lighting up the room. It was almost noon and you needed to leave soon. The drive to the cabin would take the majority of the day so there wasn't much time to waste.

Dina helped you load your car with your bags. There wasn't a lot of room in the trunk but you two made it work. You slam the truck shut, making sure it wouldn't pop open from all the clothes. Your parents hug you goodbye in your drive way as you and Dina get ready to leave.

You get into your car and put the top of your convertible down. The breeze felt nice in your hair as you drove off. Music plays as you sing your heart out. This was going to be a good trip, you could feel it. Dina pulls out her digital camera and snaps a pic of you driving as your hair blows in the wind. Your sun glasses reflect the trees lining the road.

It's been a long time since you've been on a nice trip. Let alone with all your friends. Nerves start to build as you get closer to the cabin. Ellie and Jesse were supposed to meet you there. Recently it's been awkward with Ellie. Usually you two could talk for hours and spend every second together but things have been different.

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You noticed this sudden shift in your friendship during one of your sleepovers a few months ago. Ellie was sitting on the floor of your bedroom while you were getting ready for bed. She starts going on a rant about this girl she's been thinking about asking out. You don't know what happened but in that moment you felt this strange rage fill in your heart.

Ellie has always been open about girls she finds attractive but she's never made any moves. The thought of your best friend dating another girl upset you for some reason. You've never felt this before and decided to just let it go.

"She so pretty y/n! Like I really think I'm going to make my move" Ellie scrolls on her phone as she talks to you.

You look into the mirror while washing the rest of the soap off your face. "Go for it Els, you could probably pull anyone"

"Yeah, I know" Ellie says sarcastically, now putting down her phone.

She walks over to you and meets your gaze in the reflection on the bathroom mirror. Your eyes revert down to the counter. For some reason you felt your body tremble as she got closer. You couldn't understand why you were acting like this. You've known Ellie your whole life and never saw her as anything other than your best friend.

She picks up her toothbrush and you leave the bathroom. You lay in bed waiting for Ellie to finish in the bathroom. She noticed the sudden change in your demeanor. After a few minutes your friend turns off the lights and lays nexts to you in bed.

"You ok?" Ellie turns to look at you. Her hand rubs up and down your arm.

"Yeah, Im just tired" You lied. You were wide awake but the thoughts of Ellie swarmed your mind.

Things have been like this ever since then. Every time you guys hung out, you two always end up in awkward situations. You hated the fact that things felt like this. You almost convinced yourself that maybe your friendship isn't as strong and it use to be. Maybe you two are drifing apart. You prayed that this wasn't the case but it was the only logical way to explain the distance between you two.

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"Can we pull over? I have to pee and Im starving" Dina throws her head back into the seat.

"Yeah, I need to get gas anyway" You pull into a gas station and Dina runs in as you follow shortly behind her.

The area was very unfamiliar. There wasn't many people around. You walk inside the convince store and pick out a few snacks and your friend finishes up in the bathroom. You look over to pick out what you want and see a package of watermelon sour patch kids. These were Ellie's favorite. You guys use to walk to the gas station when you were younger and eat these on the curb in the summer heat.

You pick up two bags, one for yourself and one to give Ellie when you see her later tonight. Dina grabs her snacks and you pay. You quickly fill up your tank and get back onto the road. You put the top of your conferable back up now that it's getting darker and the air is cooling down.

The rest of the drive was quiet. Dina slept as you listed to music softly. Superache by Conan filled the car as your mind thought about Ellie. She was all you could think about for the rest of the drive. You were excited to see her, hoping she felt the same.

A few hours later you pull into the driveway of the cabin. You looked at the familiar car already in front of you.

"It looks like they're already here" You nudge Dina, trying to wake her.

You text the group chat, letting your friends know you arrived. As you get out of the car to help unload all your bags you hear your name being called out from a small distance. You look up and see Ellie and Jesse walking towards you to greet you and help with the bags.

"Y/N!! You guys took long enough." Ellie pulls you into a tight hug and then turns to Dina to welcome her.

Your eyes were glued to Ellie. She was dressed in a pair of jorts that ended a few inches above her knees. Her shirt displayed the album cover of her favorite band she took you to see last semester. She wore her old converse that probably need to be replaced sometime soon.

You guys walk into the cabin with all the bags. It was beautiful. Trees surround the land and fireflies lit up every now and then around the house. You could see a glimpse of the ocean from the front. You walk into the cabin and place your bags onto the floor.

"You guys have to see the view!" Ellie grabs your wrist to bring you to the backyard.

Dina and Jesse followed as Ellie opened the backdoor for everyone. As she opened the door you were met with the view of the beach in the distance. Lanterns lit the path leading down to a fire pit. Lights were strung across the yard, lighting up every inch. You closed your eyes and listened to the waves crashing in the distance and the bugs humming from the trees.

"Holy shit. This is insane!" Your eyes light up thinking about all the memories that are about to be made here.

"Lets go down to the beach!" Jesse says as he's already sprinting down to the sand.

"I'll be there in a minute, Im going to change into a bathing suit." You begin to walk back inside until you feel a tug on your arm.

"Come onnnn!" Ellie drags you down to the beach with everyone else.

There wasn't anyone on the beach. It was more of a reserved area for residents only. You kick off your shoes as you stumble down to the water. You watch as your friends run into the waves laughing and taking in the moment. Ellie looks over at you from the water smiling, motioning you to come in. You roll your eyes and walk into the water. It was oddly warm. You cringe at the fact you're still dressed in your clothes from the drive here.

You suddenly gasp as you feel yourself getting pushed into the water. "Hey!" You sit as waves crash over you.

Ellie looks down at you and laughs but it doesn't last long before Jesse pushes her in. "What the fuck!"

You're now laughing at the sight of her drenched in the water. She grabs your hand and helps you up as you two are now dripping wet. You look up and notice how bright the stars are here. Back home you can barely see the stars. The city isn't the best place for star gazing. You can feel your body start to shiver.

The wet cloths that cling to your body get colder by each second. Ellie notices and pulls you close. "Lets go back up and change"

You take your bag of clothes and bring it it your room. Your eyes widen when you realize the room you were sharing with Ellie only has one bed. You don't understand why you're in shock. You've shared a bed with Ellie many times in your life but for some reason you felt weird about it.

"Nice right?" She says as she walks past you into the room.

The room was nice. It was open and had big windows looking out to the ocean. You place your bags down next to the bed and pull out a pair of pjs. You feel her eyes on you as you walk to the bathroom to shower and change for the night.

You take your time getting unready. Turing on the shower as you slip out of your wet clothes. The water is hot and feels nice against your shivering skin. Fingers run through your scalp as you wash out the salty water, tasting it on your lips as it washes over your face.

You dry off your body and put on fresh clothes. You throw your wet hair up into a towel as you wash your face. As you exit the bathroom you notice Ellie is no longer in the room. You walk downstairs to the kitchen to see all your friends sitting at the island laughing.

"Were ordered pizza, I hope that's fine" Dina says smiling, then returning to her conversation

"Im literally starving, I could fuck up some pizza right now" You say as you sit and join them at the island.

"I think Cat is going to join us for a week. She's supposed to be here next Saturday" Ellie looks at you waiting for a reaction.

You immediately feel a frown forming on your face. You hated Cat. You hated how she practically stole Ellie from you, and now she's coming on your trip!? Ever since Ellie made her move on Cat they've been inseparable. She never referred to Cat as her girlfriend but you knew it was coming. The way Ellie looks at her. It hurts. You figured it was just because she doesn't spend all her time with you anymore. Maybe you're just jealous that Ellie's time is being taken up by someone else.

You were looking forward to spending time with Ellie on this trip and now she's inventing Cat? You felt your heart drop at the thought of Ellie spending the next week with her.

"That's exciting" You say as you force a smile but it's clear your upset.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door. "That's probably the pizza" Jesse gets up and walks to the front door.

You make your way over to the living room with a box of pizza in your hands. You place the box down on the coffee table next to the other boxes. Ellie hands you a glass of water as she takes a seat next to you on the couch.

"What movie are we watching?" You feel Ellie's body shift next to you as she grabs the remote to scroll through the options.

"Want to rewatch Bottoms? I don't think Dina or Jesse have seen it yet."

"YES!" She searches up the movie and hits rent without any hesitation.

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The night was nice. You rested your head on Ellies shoulder as you watch the movie. The boxes of pizza are practically empty except for the left over crust from Ellie that she refuses to eat. The movie was almost over and you could feel your eyes getting tired. You've already seen this move a million times so you decided to go ahead and go to bed.

"Where are you going" Ellie looks up at you as you remove yourself from her arms.

"Im going to head up to bed. Im tired from driving all day. I'll see you guys in the morning" You smile and say goodnight to Jesse and Dina.

"Okay, goodnight! I'll be up there right when the movie ends." She gives you a soft smile in return.

The bed was comfortable. It was easy to get settled in as you wait for Ellie's presence. Your eyes close as you wait for her. You could feel yourself drifting off until you hear the sound of the door opening. Your body turns towards the door and you open your eyes to see Ellie walking into the room.

"Sorry, did I wake you up" She quietly closes the door.

"No, I was still up." You watch as she pulls out her toothbrush from her bag and walks to the bathroom.

She eventually joins you in bed. Her body was close. You could feel her settling into the mattress. The widow was slightly open, allowing the sound of the waves crashing to fill the room. The fan kept the room at a cool temperature as you pull the covers higher up your body.

"Do you like Cat" Ellie breaks the silence and turns to face you in the bed waiting for a response.

Her face was close. You could feel her gentle breath on your cheeks as she waited for you to answer. You knew you couldn't tell her the truth. She's your best friend. There's no reason for you dislike Cat, but you did, but you couldn't tell her that.

"Yeah. Why?" Your response was cold and blunt.

"You just always change the subject when I bring her up or you just seem to always get upset." She frowns. "I just really want you to like her because I think I'm going to make things official with her."

You almost was to cry when you hear those words come out of her mouth. Your heart aches. You knew this was coming but you prayed it wouldn't happen. You wished things would fall through between them. You hated that you felt this way. You wanted Ellie to be happy. You really did but you've been letting your emotions get in the way.

"Do whatever you want Ellie" You turn to face the opposite way. You didn't mean for your response to come out as harsh as it did, but it was too late.

"This is exactly what I was talking about. I don't understand why you're being like this" Her voice is harsh. "Ever since I told you about Cat you've been so distant. I don't know why you're being like this but clearly you need space."

You feel her get up from the bed. "Where are you going?" You sit up and look at her.

"Giving you space. You obviously are upset with me and I don't know why." She gets up and leaves the room.

You lay back down on your back as the tears that formed in your eyes begin to fall down your cheeks. Her words stung but she was right. You feel bad for being so short with Ellie, she doesn't deserve it. Your whole life you and Ellie have been so close. You told each other everything. The reason your friendship is changing was because of you.

After tossing and turning in the empty bed for a while you look over at your bag and see the candy you bought for Ellie but forgot to give her. You decide to get up and find her, still feeling bad about earlier. The room was dark and hard to navigate but you found the door. You walk downstairs to see Ellie laying on the couch. She's wrapped up in a small blanket, sleeping softly. You sit on the edge of the couch and look at her with a feeling of guilt settling in your stomach.

"y/n?" She slowly opens her eyes and looks at you.

"Im sorry Els." You look at her with damp eyes. "Im sorry I've been so distant and I'm sorry for being rude." You wipe your tears trying to gain composer.

Ellie sits up and wraps her arms around you, bringing you close to her body. She wipes your tears as she holds you. "Stop crying. Im not mad at you, Im just confused."

"I know and Im sorry" You rest your head on her chest.

You eventually lay down on the couch with her. There isn't too much room but you make it work. Your bodies press against each other as you close your eyes. Her arms are wrapped around your waist, still trying to calm you down. You quickly fall asleep, feeling that your friendship is returning to what it once was.

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You wake up alone on the couch, hearing chatter from the kitchen. Sitting up and looking over you see your friends making breakfast. The air smells of salt and pancakes.

"Look who's finally up" Jesse says teasingly as he flips a pancake.

"You hungry?" Ellie asks as she holds up a plate of food she had already prepared for you.

You get up from the couch and sit at the table. The kitchen had huge windows that had the perfect view on the backyard and the beach. The cabin was so pretty during the day. The sunlight lit up the whole house. You look up as you see Ellie placing a plate in front of you. She sits down and joins you for breakfast.

"Do you have any plans in mind for today" She looks up at you as she takes a bite of pineapple.

"I really want to explore this area and go to the beach." You smile at her as you spread the butter on your pancakes.

You put on your bathing suit and then some shorts over as a coverup. The weather was hot but not humid. There was nice breeze outside. There were a bunch of beach bikes on the side of the cabin for guest so you and your friends decided to explore on them.

Wind blew through your hair as you rode down the dirt paths from the cabin to the nearest sidewalk. Music played through Ellie's speakers as you rode. You eventually came across a small beach town with restaurants and shops. There were people walking through with friends and family enjoying the start of summer break.

You tied your bikes to a post and decided to walk around. "This place is so cute!" You take out you phone to take some pictures.

Dina points out a small local coffee shop and starts walking towards it. You guys enter the shop and order coffees to start your morning. Ellie wasn't a huge coffee person so she got a refresher.

"Els you need to try this!" You hand her your drink waiting for her to take a sip.

"No thanks. I really don't like coffee" She pushes your drink away.

"Seriously Ellie, its so good, you have to try it" You push your cup back into her hands.

She hands you her drink so you can try it as she takes a sip of your coffee. "This is disgusting!" She cringes as the taste of coffee lingers in her mouth.

She takes her drink back and washes out the bitter taste of coffee from her mouth. The coffee wasn't even strong, it was mostly washed out with a sugary creamer. You laugh watching Ellie's reaction to the coffee and took it back from her hands.

The town was small so it didn't take long to explore it. You guys planned on trying every restaurant here over the summer. The breeze from the ocean felt nice. The air smelt of salt and coffee.

You and your friends got back onto your bikes and rode down to the beach. The weather was starting to get warmer as noon approached. You set you bike up again the beach entrance and step onto the sand. You take off your shoes and toss them into your bag and walk down to the water. Ellie follows shortly behind and sits down on the towel that Dina places on the warm sand.

You join Ellie on the towel as Dina and Jesse head towards the water. "Im sorry about last night, I was just tired. I don't even remember why I was upset." You say looking at Ellie as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Y/n, it's really ok, I'm not mad. I just want us to go back to how we use to be" She admits as she meets your gaze.

"Me too" You smile and rest your head on her shoulder as you watch your friends splashing each other in the waves.

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The first week was perfect. You spent your days at the beach and cooking out in the backyard of the cabin. Jesse and Ellie set up hammocks in the back, so you guys could star gaze and talk until the sun starts to rise. Things were going better than you imagined. Your relationship with Ellie was better than ever. You two did everyone together.

"Cats going to be here in a few minutes!" Ellie impatiently checks her phone waiting for Cat's arrival text.

You sit at the island finishing your breakfast. The windows were open, allowing the fresh air to calm you down. You've been dreading this since Ellie first brought up the fact that Cat was even visiting. The thought of Ellie spending all her time with Cat made you sick. You didn't want to lash out again so you kept your feelings to yourself.

A ding from Ellie's phone interrupted your conversation followed by a loud knock at the door. "She's here!" Ellie jumped from her seat and walked over to the front door.

Cat stood at the entrance with her bag. She was dressed in shorts and a tank top with an opened button down on top. You took in the image of Ellie's face lighting up as she looked Cat up and down. You watched as she pulled her into a tight hug. Ellie leaded her into the kitchen with everyone else.

"Hi guys! Thanks for letting me stay for a few days" She smiles and then looks at you.

You return the smile but its obvious you're annoyed. Cat takes the hint and turns back too Ellie. They walk upstairs so she could put up her bags.

Dina looks over at you with a frown. "You ok y/n?"

"Yeah... why?" You look at her with a confused and saddened expression.

Dina caught on to your feelings for Ellie a long time ago. You've never admitted to them because honestly you never thought of Ellie in that way. At least not until recently. It's all been so confusing.

"She's only going to be here for five days, it'll go by fast" Dina tries to reassure you but it just makes things worse.

"I know, I think we'll have fun. And Ellie's happy" You try to convince your friends you're ok, and maybe you're trying to convince yourself too.

Ellie returns downstairs with Cats hand in hers. The sight makes you want to cry but you suck in your feelings and try to avoid them. You knew these next few days would be hard. Not only did you have to watch your best friend fall in love with someone else but you had to get rid of any feelings you have for her.

You didn't even know you liked her but it makes sense now. It's all coming together. Why did you feel this way? You've known Ellie all your life. Why are you just now realizing these feelings? The way she makes you feel when her fingers are running through your hair. The way she holds you close at night. The way she immediately drops everything when you need her.

Your thoughts shatter in your mind when you see Cats lips against Ellie's. You can't help but sit and stare. Ellie never told you they were official yet. Why didn't she tell you?

Your emotions took over and you left. You didn't know where you were going but your keys were in your hand and you were already half way to you car.

"Y/n!? Where are you going?" Ellie follows you as you walk out the door. Cat standing behind. She stands at the door frame as she watches you pull out of the drive way.

The air was much needed. You drove down the roads of the beach. tears building up in your eyes. You had hopes that this drive would distract you but the only thing on your mind was Ellie. Why did you let your feelings get the best of you again. She clearly doesn't like you. She has Cat.

You find yourself sitting in a cafe looking out at the beach. The thoughts Ellie holding you floods your mind. You hate yourself for feeling like this. What would she think if she knew about how you felt? Would this ruin everything between you two? Would your friendship be over for good?

You immediately snap out of your thoughts as you look down and notice a text from Ellie.

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a/n: Thank you for reading!! Im already working on the next chapter. I hope my writing gets stronger as I write more because I feel like this could be more detailed:( Please, please, pleaseeee give me feedback! I love hearing others opinions! Im excited to continue this story because honestly I have no idea where the plot is going to go yet. The next chapters should be longer as they come out. Im not expecting this to be too long but let me know what you guys want for the future chapters!<3

[hotchs-big-hands]

What did you call me?

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|4.9k words

Aaron Hotchner x plus size fem!reader

NSFW Minors dni please

Warning(s): some angst, yearning, details about graphic crime scenes, strip clubs/sex clubs.

When Dom/sub couples begin to show up murdered mid-coital, the BAU team is brought in to solve the case. But as more couples are found and the unsub remains undetected, it becomes an undercover mission. The posing Dom/sub couple in question? Your intimidating, attractive boss and you.

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Hey everyone, welcome to my first fanfic! I used to write and post stuff back in 2018ish but it was a different fandom. I've not written and posted anything tho since then so I'm a bit nervous! But idk I just got back into cm recently and I saw Hotch and my brain was like oh yeah 👁️👁️ (I used to be a Spencer girlie) and I've mostly written stuff for myself but I decided imma start doing stuff on here too! I hope you enjoy and lemme know if you wanna be tagged in future writings 🥰 side note, I'm a fat gal so I will probably centre most of my stuff around plus size readers cuz there's not enough of it for plus size Hotch girlies 😔 but technically anyone can read and enjoy it! This was getting extremely long so I'm splitting it into three parts so here's the first one! Anyway, enjoy 💅

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The feeling of something blunt lightly bounced against your forehead, making you blink a few times and rub the area with your hand.

"Hey... Who did that?" You grumbled, eyes darting from one face of your coworkers to the next. Three of them all pointed towards the culprit and as your eyes drifted back to him you were met with a cheeky grin on the charming, dark-skinned man's face.

"You were spaced out, sugar." Derek Morgan said. "Got a lot on your mind?"

"Got a lot of him on her mind, more like." A voice cut in smugly, flustering you in an instant, your heart beginning to race. Your eyes flicked to Prentiss, the pristine raven haired woman was smirking at you, her eyes glinting. You squeaked and shifted in your office chair nervously.

"No, Em! Just... couldn't sleep last night."

The weak explanation didn't help, it only widened the smirk on Prentiss' face as she leaned forward.

"Oh? Do tell us more."

"There's nothing to say!" You abruptly turned to the casefile that lay open on your slightly messy desk and tried to ignore the movement at the corner of your eye; Emily was shuffling her chair over to you, no doubt still with that annoying smirk on her face.

"Oh it sure sounds like there is though."

Before you had the chance to defend yourself an all too familiar voice demanded everyone's attention and subsequently caused a shiver to trickle down your spine. Your hands gripped onto your chair.

"My team; in the conference room now. We have a case." Your unit chief spoke. All heads turned to the direction of a slightly elevated walkway where a sharply dressed man stood for a mere moment, locking eyes with yours, before he began walking briskly towards the mentioned conference room.

Fuck. Hotch was wearing your favourite suit and tie today and a few stray wisps of his short, dark hair stubbornly lay over his forehead, no matter how often he must have tried to push them up off his face. Everyday was harder than the previous working with that man. The moment you'd attended your interview months ago, sitting in front of the brooding man, you knew you were fucked. Yes, you had been eager to join the famed BAU unit and were grateful for the opportunity that arose but you'd be lying if another reason you eagerly answered all the questions prompted to you in that interview wasn't because you were instantly attracted to Aaron Hotchner. However, that was almost a year ago now and you were struggling with your growing attraction to the man the more you were around him. Your coworkers and friends certainly were no help, given they'd soon caught onto your crush.

A hand waved in front of your face and you blinked.

"Time to go, lovergirl." Prentiss teased and you sighed, quickly joining the others as they made their way to the case briefing. You needed to focus.

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Landing in Chicago a few hours later, the team were thrust into a gnarly investigation involving couples being murdered in their hotel rooms mid-coital. The crime scene photos were hard to look at, to say the least. Setting up a base of operations in the police department didn't take too long and currently you were in the midst of interviewing family members of the deceased along with Hotch at his insistence. It wasn't often that you took part in these interviews, even less often did Hotch ever team you up with him. Quite frankly, it made you feel a little nervous, but there was no way you'd question his decision. And certainly, you did not miss the subtle smug look Emily gave you as you trailed after the man you thought about way too much.

Sitting beside him in the SUV, just the two of you alone made your head feel a little bit floaty as you tried your best to remain as stoic as possible, reminding yourself of the details of the case so far and of the little bits of information from the families you'd spoken to. Even with the effort there was no preventing the permeating scent of his cologne and a hint of his own natural musk from scrambling your brain. He smelled good, too good, and the way his hands gripped the steering wheel from the quick glances you dared peek developed a heat to coil within the depths of your lower abdomen.

"Are you alright?" His voice brought you out of your thoughts. You felt flushed.

"H-huh?" You felt dumbstruck, all because of him. He exhaled through his nose sharply, clearly dissatisfied with your response.

"You're distracted."

Oh. Of course he could pick up on it. You shifted in your seat, subtly rubbing your plump thighs together.

"I'm okay, I guess I've not had enough to drink today though. I'll get some water when we head back to the station." Not a lie, technically. You'd forgotten your bottle of water you normally had ready to fill up to take on cases. Hotch hummed, the sound deep and making you clench between your thighs.

"I did notice you didn't have your water like you usually do. I should have said something." He said. Wait, he noticed? You didn't think he picked up on things about you, he didn't often appear to pay attention to you besides on a strictly professional level. But as you turned your head to him in surprise his brows were furrowed in frustration, as though annoyed with himself for not saying anything.

"Oh no, it's fine. I've been a bit of a scatterbrain as of late." You admitted sheepishly, a little smile on your lips. Hotch glanced at you, eyes flicking down to your lips, then back to your eyes, making your breath hitch.

"Anything I can do to help?"

You bit your lip, your mind flooded with a whole array of thoughts that you knew you shouldn't be having about your boss. He didn't know he was the reason you were so distracted, desperate to feel his lips on yours, on your body and his hands on your skin, his fingers inside you. Fuck. You needed to get it together, for goodness' sake. You quickly glanced back towards the road.

"Ah, no. I'm okay, sir. I'll sort myself out." You murmured, missing the way his knuckles whitened under the pressure of his grip on the wheel.

"Don't hesitate to come to me if you need anything."

You tried not to think of what you wanted him to do to you, instead humming in response.

"Thank you, sir."

You needed to get out of this damn car as soon as possible.

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Immediately upon returning to the station you rushed off to find a vending machine so you could grab a bottle of water. As soon as you had your hands on the cold, plastic bottle you were gulping down the cool liquid, not realising just how flushed you felt.

"Whoa, slow down there, (L/n)!" You heard JJ's voice from behind you and you turned, pulling the bottle from your mouth wide-eyed. The blonde woman looked slightly alarmed. "Are you okay?"

You nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I just forgot to bring water so I kinda got a bit dehydrated I think." You explain quickly. JJ frowned a little.

"You'd better be careful next time. And don't drink too quickly, you could accidentally choke."

You smiled sheepishly under her scolding and screwed the lid back on.

"Sorry, I'll drink slower."

JJ led you back to the office where you found the familiar sight of Spencer pouring over a map of the area. Pieces of string had been wrapped around pins indicating the last locations victims were seen and the scenes of their murders, no clear pattern in sight as there sometimes was. On one of the tables lay several empty paper coffee cups, a few rings of spilled coffee staining the surface top. He was speaking quietly to another member of the team, David Rossi, and Hotch; of whom stood beside the young Doctor with his arms folded across his chest, inevitably tightening the suit over his physique. You forced yourself to focus on the map.

Not long after your arrival you heard two sets of footsteps trudge into the room.

"No employees or frequent customers that are of note. We have nothing." Derek huffed as he made his way over to one of the chairs and slumped down into it. Emily joined you and JJ, her face appeared neutral but you could tell there was a hint of annoyance behind it. You heaved a deep sigh and felt eyes on you which made you instinctively seek out who it was, only to be startled when your eyes met deep brown ones, almost black in the artificial lighting. Hotch didn't look away, instead holding your gaze until you quickly turned away, feeling embarrassed.

"There has to be something that connects them all." Rossi said. Your eyes drifted across the map, narrowing a little. There had to be a mutual place that all these couples had been to in the final week leading up to their deaths. Somewhere that couples who enjoy sexual relations more than the average couple would go. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and quickly scrolled through your contacts until you found the one you were looking for. As you pressed dial you put the call on loudspeaker it merely rang once before there was an answer.

"Hello, you've reached the hotline for the simply fantabulous Penelope Garcia; how may I assist you?" A bubbly voice filtered through. All eyes were on the phone as you placed it on the table in front of you.

"Hiya, babe, I have a request for you. We're trying to find a link between the couples but so far nothing has cropped up. But I have a theory," you spoke, feeling a little awkward at what you were about to say. "Uhm, do you think you could try search for any strip clubs or even straight up sex clubs in the area? Easily accessible or possibly a more hidden club?"

You could feel his eyes on you again but you tried hard to stare at the phone. Garcia gasped from the other end of the line, but the sound of nails on a keyboard reassured you she was already on the case. Beside you, you felt Emily poke you and you lightly shoved her with your wide hip.

"Oh wow, I did not think I would be looking at this sort of thing today. But lucky you, I have a whole list of places! I-" there was clicking, followed by another gasp. "Oh my! That is certainly a homepage! You have no idea about the things I'm seeing right now, well, I mean I'll be sending these to you anyway but gosh! I'm going to do a thorough clean of my history once this case-"

"-Garcia, focus." Hotch said firmly and you heard a quick apology from the other end of the line. He moved to lean over the table, propping himself up with his hands as he took charge of the phone call. "We need security footage from these locations. Whatever you can give us, we'll take it."

More clacking of nails, you tried not to stare at your boss as he leered over your phone, forcing yourself to look away from his straining suit, the dangling tie, his large hands. Horrifically, you instead met eyes with the oldest of the group, Rossi, who had clearly caught you ogling Hotch from the glint in his experienced eyes and the twitch at the corner of his mouth. Shit. You could only hope no one else had witnessed your blatancy. Thankfully, Garcia's voice came through again.

"I'm sending over whatever footage I can find as well as the addresses to the establishments now."

You reached across the table, hyper aware of how close you were to Hotch as you took hold of your phone. He studied you carefully when you hurried backwards, swallowing thickly. You cleared your throat.

"Thanks, babe, you're a star." You said.

"Well of course, I'm your star." Garcia responded cheerily and the line went dead. Hotch straightened up and pulled his suit back into place, turning to address everyone.

"We need to review the footage and find out which location all the victims visited at some point within the last few weeks, then we can make a plan of action." He was stern as he spoke, hands in his pockets and his shoulders squared. There was a mutual noise of agreement from everyone and you all split into smaller groups around the monitors in the room. Hotch disappeared off to find the chief of police and you couldn't help but let your eyes follow him as he rushed out of the room, eyes transfixed on the tight fabric of his dress pants.

"Girl, you aren't even hiding it." You heard Derek say and you huffed, walking over to Spencer and sitting down next to him. He offered you an awkward smile and shuffled his chair to the side so you could get closer to the computer he was working on.

"Shut up, Derek." You muttered and he chuckled.

"I'm just saying, you should probably talk to him."

Your eyes widened in horror.

"Excuse me?"

Spencer cleared his throat.

"I agree, It's a bit obvious that he's interested in you too." He said softly and you huffed, shuffling your chair closer to the table and leaning towards the computer screen.

"Stop saying ridiculous things like that, both of you. We have work to do anyway."

Derek stepped back with his hands raised in surrender before retreating back to the computer he was situated at whilst Spencer simply watched you carefully, frowning a little.

It was dangerous for you to even dare think of such things. There were so many reasons why you couldn't let your mind go there. If not for the ethical reason due to his and your job statuses, then maybe because he was much older than you with a son. But also you'd seen photos of his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend and you certainly didn't look like his type. Not slender, not sleek like they were. You didn't think he was a shallow man but you'd also dealt with disappointment after disappointment with how others had treated you based on your appearance. You had to keep yourself safe, so your attraction for your boss would remain nothing more than a secret from him. You sighed softly as the young man beside you clicked on the first video footage from one of the private sex clubs. There was no more time to waste.

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The following few hours were downright miserable, viewing video, after video of footage from various clubs until you felt as though your eyes and your brain would melt out of your head. Finally, however, Emily made a noise of alarm, mouth full of cheap coffee, and alerted everyone to her computer. Swallowing the burning, bitter liquid, she retracted the footage a little and replayed it.

"Look, It's the Smiths! The first couple to be murdered. They came in to this very exclusive private sex club at the end of last month." She said hurriedly. In the slightly fuzzy camera quality indeed the couple waltzed into the lobby of the facility and approached the reception desk.

"Fast forward the feed." You heard Hotch say, causing goosebumps to bristle across your skin. You knew he had returned at some point but didn't expect him to stand right beside you. Someone made a call to Garcia and she confirmed with her database that it was indeed the couple. Further analysis of the footage from days afterwards showed that every single of the other couples had also been to this sex club too shortly before they were murdered. And yet they had no indication still of who was the murderer.

The day was drawing in at this point but as a final task before anyone would return to the hotel, Hotch sent out Morgan and Prentiss to the club to ask some questions, something that you couldn't help but chuckle at. The raven haired woman narrowed her eyes slightly at you.

"Laugh all you want but I'd be careful if I were you." She warned but you simply smirked.

"Don't have too much fun now, you two." You said cheerily, Morgan raised a brow at you and then the two were off begrudgingly. You felt JJ sidle up beside you.

"You know she will get you back." She murmured and you shrugged.

"She doesn't scare me."

"She scares me a little." Spencer said aloud, causing the two of you to turn your heads in his direction. He flushed, ducking his head slightly. "I- uh, well you know how she is."

"I wouldn't think you were intimidated by her, Spence, I mean you're the one who won the prank war with Morgan." JJ said, chuckling. A small smile tugged at his mouth.

"I wouldn't cross Emily, though."

You hummed and pushed up out of your chair.

"Well anyway, either of you want a hot drink?" You offered. JJ smiled.

"Oh no, thank you." As Spencer opened his mouth to respond she lifted a finger up at him. "Ah- you definitely don't need anymore coffee at this time of day."

A quiet giggle passed your lips and you turned to head to the kitchenette of the station.

"I'm not getting involved."

Walking out of the office you crossed the police department, avoiding any officers who still remained within the building, and came to a pause in the entryway of the kitchen, dipping away from the doorway out of sight. The two oldest members of the team were in a deep conversation, Hotch with his back to the door and Rossi facing the direction you were in. They spoke quietly, you knew you shouldn't listen in and yet you couldn't help it.

"Stop being absurd. What makes you think I'd even consider doing that?" Hotch hissed, his voice barely audible from where you were.

"Come on, Aaron, you can't keep this going forever. You know that." Rossi countered. There were more words said but were too quiet for you to decipher. That was until Hotch spoke a little louder again, sounding more frustrated.

"I am not currently wishing to be involved with anyone like that, Dave. I just can't."

In an instant you felt your heart in your throat, your eyes stinging.

Oh.

You felt stupid. Of course he wasn't interested in dating anyone. Even despite closely guarding your feelings for Hotch to be nothing further than a personal crush that he would never find out about it still hurt knowing you never had a chance to begin with.

Walking a few steps away from the kitchen, you made a point of entering the kitchen area, feigning surprise as your eyes landed on the two men in the room. Clearly, your entrance startled them, particularly him, who looked a little guilty before the slight expression glossed over with stern stoicism. Hotch glanced away, turning to Rossi.

"I'll see you at the hotel." He muttered and then he was brushing past you, his hand grazing your arm slightly and his scent consuming your senses. And then he was gone, all that remained was the slight coolness of his absence. You swallowed thickly but tried to mask your emotions from the seasoned agent still remaining.

"Coffee? There's some left still, maybe enough for one last cup." Rossi said softly. You smiled slightly as you approached him but shook your head.

"Ah no, thank you. I'm going to have tea. It's way too late for coffee, don't you think?"

The man hummed, watching you carefully. You suspected he had seen you earlier, that you'd heard the conversation but you didn't feel like talking about it.

"I hope you know that if you ever need someone to lend an ear that I'm always willing to listen."

Your hands faltered slightly during sorting out putting a tea bag in a clean mug. Your eyes flicked to the side at Rossi briefly.

"I know that."

"I know you heard what you think you heard but-"

"-Let's not- We aren't talking about this." You cut him off shakily, stopping yourself before you poured the hot water into the mug. "There's nothing to say about it."

You turned away from the kitchen counter to lean against it, rubbing your tired eyes with your palms. Rossi sighed quietly.

"You didn't catch the whole conversation." He tried after a moment. You scoffed.

"It wasn't for me to hear. I only did so by accident. I'm not going to read into it because the only people who were meant to hear what was discussed was you and-" Your throat felt tighter still, an unseen coil constricting you, just as the man you longed for constricted your heart and soul. You didn't say his name, couldn't. Mercifully, the man before you understood.

"I know."

You nodded. The mug of tea wasn't appealing anymore; the quiet promise of solitude in a hotel room called to you more than all else.

"I.... I think I need to call it a night. I don't feel well."

Rossi placed a hand on your upper arm and squeezed lightly.

"I'll inform the others and grab your stuff then I'll drive you to the hotel we're staying in," he fished out the keys to one of the SUVs and handed them to you, the metal clinking together. "Go, wait in the car for me." He said. The corners of your mouth tilted upwards in appreciation and you hurried out, eager to have even a moment to yourself.

The moment you pushed the doors of the building open and stepped outside you exhaled, grimacing slightly at the still, warm air of the night. You'd hoped it would have cooled down more, now that the sun had long since settled behind the horizon, but you felt stifled, the heat doing nothing to soothe the tightness in your throat and chest. Breathing shakily, you unlocked the car and climbed into the passenger seat, laying your head back against the head rest.

There was no reason for you to feel so upset about this. It wasn't as though you intended on ever approaching your boss about your ever growing feelings for him, you wouldn't dare do that. And yet you felt almost physically sick from heartbreak and the worst part was he didn't even know the pain you were in. Hell, you didn't even know where he was right now after he rushed out of the kitchen.

You knew the moment Rossi obviously had retrieved your belongings judging the way your phone had begun to vibrate from text notifications, no doubt from your coworkers. You'd answer them when you made it to the hotel, you decided. A few minutes later you spotted the older man exit the station and approach the car you were in, your bag and coat in hand. The sight made you smile even the tiniest bit, something that he noticed. You felt the car jolt a little as he opened the trunk so he could put your belongings down and jolt again when he slammed it lightly. A second later he was climbing in on the driver's side where you held out the car keys to him.

"Thanks." He took the keys and inserted them into the ignition, the engine roaring to life and you slipped your seatbelt on. Rossi glanced at you. "Let's get you to the hotel. Best thing about this is if there aren't enough rooms for one each you can have first pick on if you want the single or not." He said as you pulled out the station parking lot. You scoffed.

"Oh you know I'm absolutely taking the single this time." You retorted. In any other scenario you would have risked sharing a room, risk being paired with him. Now the thought made you want to cry. Your little smile faded and you turned your head to the window, resting on the cool glass. Sensing you were finished talking, Rossi didn't say anything else for the remainder of the drive.

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A little groan escaped your lips when you collapsed backwards on the single bed in your hotel room, exhaustion overrunning your very being from the long day. For a moment you simply lay there silently, staring at the dulled white ceiling whilst your mind raced. You knew this wasn't ideal, you couldn't let yourself be distracted from the case.

Huffing, you remembered that you needed to respond to messages to let the others know you would be alright by the morning. After pulling your phone out of your pocket, the screen lit up and your eyes flicked across the notifications on the lock screen. Lots of messages from your worried coworkers. You unlocked the phone and set about answering them one-by-one. JJ and Emily offered to stop by your hotel room to check in on you, not knowing you'd been feeling unwell up until this point, but you reassured them you would be okay.

Just as you finished your nightly routine and pulled the covers back, there was a knock on your door. Your brows furrowed slightly. Who would be knocking at this time? Sighing, you approached the door and leaned close to the peephole, expecting to see one of the ladies or maybe even Rossi.

Standing tensely with his shoulders squared was Aaron Hotchner. A quiet gasp escaped you and you jolted backwards from the door. What the fuck was he doing here?! With shaky hands, you pulled the door open and slightly covered yourself with it, hyper aware of your clothing situation. Hotch perked up and stared down at you.

"Rossi informed me that you weren't feeling well and had to retire early." He murmured gently, his face stern. You swallowed and silently invited him into your room by stepping back, pulling the door with you. He cautiously walked into your hotel room and you closed the door behind him, wrapping your arms around yourself in a feeble attempt to cover your body up. Why, oh why did you have to wear shorts that barely covered your ass and an old tee that wasn't as baggy anymore from being washed one too many times?

You cleared your throat and avoided looking in Hotch's direction.

"He's right. But I'm sure I'll feel better by tomorrow though."

You offered a little smile, eyes flicking to his face and realised he was staring. Except he wasn't staring at your face, no, his eyes were focused lower down at your chest. Christ. You quickly looked away again before he realised you'd caught him out and he hummed, the sound making you clench.

"What's wrong?"

Oh no. You couldn't answer that. Your eyes met his and you opened your mouth, hesitating with no response to give.

"I.... Just felt sick, that's all. I'll be okay though."

You never were good at hiding how you were really feeling, the deepening frown on the man's face before you merely evident of this.

"Are you certain? You can tell me anything, you know that." He said softly as he stepped closer to you. You nodded and tried smiling again at him.

"I know, sir. I promise I'm alright though." You tightened your arms around yourself until your flesh dipped under the pressure of your fingertips. Hotch's eyes trailed over you from head to toe, clearly unsatisfied with your reluctance to tell him the truth, but didn't push the matter further. You inhaled as he stepped closer still, his scent once more overwhelming you. His fingers flexed at his side as though he was conflicted and you wished he would reach out and touch you. Eventually, he sighed quietly and retreated a step.

"Alright. But I will be keeping an eye on you now."

Not good. You nodded though, then yawned and your cheeks flushed with warmth. Despite the tension, a small smile tugged at Hotch's mouth.

"You should get some rest." He said. You chuckled.

"Yeah, you as well though. I know what you're like."

He raised a brow at you.

"Really now?"

Your eyes widened and you stuttered.

"W-well I'm just saying, you do leave the office last, you're up earlier than everyone else too-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to dig your hole any deeper. You dared a quick glance his way and he was still slightly smirking.

"Get some rest, your boss is going to be up early again tomorrow to call everyone in."

A little chuckle escaped you and you followed Hotch to the door, grabbing the door as he opened it and hiding behind it again as you watched him make his way out into the corridor. He turned back to you and gazed down at you again.

"Good night, (L/n)." He murmured. Your eyes met and you gripped onto the door.

"Good night, sir."

He shifted, as though debating something in his head, then he turned and stalked down the corridor. You didn't close your door until he disappeared from sight. When you returned to your bed you collapsed down onto it whilst your mind raced. That night your dreams were filled with forbidden touches and kisses from the man you loved.

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And that's part one for now pls lemme know what you think and if anyone wants to be tagged in future works! Thank you for reading 💖💖

[endless-ineffabilities]

Maroon (part three)

modern!Aemond Targaryen x f!reader

You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us

A series loosely based on the song Maroon of off Midnights by Taylor Swift ▪︎ read more Daemon & Aemond midnights imagines here: masterlist

series list: part one - part two - part three - part four -

themes/warnings: angst!, mutual pining, jealous!Aemond, language, description of accident/injury, Aemond in his stalker era

word count: 8.7k

a/n: proposed ages of the characters in this series - Viserys (64), Daemon (55), Alicent (53), Rhaenyra (44), Aemond (26), Helaena (25), Daeron (22), Aegon (30), Lucerys (22), Jacaerys (25), Joffrey (15), Alys (35) ---- as much as I'd like to pretend this took 5 minutes... heh. The Math simply wasn't Mathing for a long while. Anywho, just thought I'd write this in since I've aged up the characters.

Also - with all the time I've spent on this fic, I've decided to ultimately restructure part three. So part four will cover the night of the Dragonstone ball, where it's all about to go down.

Everything that occurs leading up to the Dragonstone ball - the outcome of the accident, Aemond struggling with his current state, and the reader left hoping for a love, that perhaps, never truly was.

Lucerys Velaryon has already garnered quite the reputation, at only 22 years old. 

A darling of the masses, everyone loved the young heir to Driftmark, a great company built by his grandfather, the notorious shipping tycoon, Corlys Velaryon.

But having the name Velaryon is a double-edged sword for Luke.

It only increases his privilege and prestige, already being a Targaryen on his mother’s side. Luke is set for life; he has everything he could ever need at his disposal. As a young boy, he has always enjoyed cars. Tinkering with them under the guidance of his father Laenor, as well as his uncle Daemon. Luke got himself into kart racing at the age of 9. Illegal street racing, much to his mother’s disappointment, at the age of 14. And just recently, he has been competing in Formula 2 division racing.

From the outside, he is just like any other boy. Apart from the fact that his family is literally worth billions, that is. 

But Luke has never been content. He has never been self-assured, borne out of the truth, one that everyone simply chooses not to mention, that Laenor Velaryon is not his true father. That he is a bastard, and therefore, not the rightful heir to Driftmark. He has always known this, despite his mother’s pleas otherwise. He knows this each time he hears the employees of Driftmark whisper amongst themselves after he passes by. Whenever he is invited to sit in the council meeting of the company, he feels his true status in how the shareholders disregard his opinions like he’s just some intern.

He grew up amidst the tension between himself and his brothers, and their young uncles, especially Aemond. When Aemond and Lucerys were growing up together, they simply did not learn to exist well around one another. Luke had bullied his young uncle long ago - an act of rebellion, of a boy growing up with resentment in his bones -  when Aemond had been weak and scrawny as a child. Aemond retaliated in kind; but he finally matured and found some inner calm in his mid-twenties. A year or two before you met him.

Luke's uneasiness has only worsened, now that he is nearly set to take his place on Driftmark. Since his family hails from Valyria, everyone expects them to uphold the tradition of only passing down inheritance to rightful heirs. Never bastard children or outliers.

But what the hell. Luke has never been one to follow the rules. His very existence does not abide by them, so why should he?

The night of the accident, Luke had to sit in yet another board meeting for the company. This time, Aemond was there too. Only he was treated as he should, being a Targaryen. Like someone capable, someone worthy. 

It should not have made any difference, really. Luke thought he was used to it all by now - the stares, the hushed whispers, the poorly masked scorn. They think Aegon or Aemond to be more competent. If the board had their way, it would not be Luke who would inherit Driftmark. Perhaps, his grandfather’s brother, Vaemond. Or hell, even his cousins Baela and Rhaena, though they never expressed any interest in the business.

Anyone but Luke.

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As a child, Aemond Targaryen saw himself as some kind of a ghost. A spectre simply moving around his family, their company, their horde of sycophants. Not the first to be considered. Not the designated heir to anything. The second son of the owner and chief executive of Dragonstone, and his much younger, barely beloved second wife.

Once upon a time, his father Viserys had been well and truly happy. 

He was married to the love of his life, Aemma, and they had a lovely daughter who was loved by all due to her charm and fiery nature. 

When Aemma passed in childbirth, Viserys had been near inconsolable. But he could not remain so for very long. Soon enough, his board of trustees, his advisors, urged him to remarry. He did not have an heir yet after all, and as per tradition, he soon needed to have a son so that he might raise him to become the next CEO and owner of their business empire.

But Viserys decided to essentially bypass such tradition, for less than a year after his wife’s passing, he had publicly announced his only daughter as his successor. It did not matter what the board of trustees or the shareholders preferred. They may have considerable sway over the affairs of the company, but in the end, the word of Viserys prevails.

And so Aemond and his three siblings have been pushed to the periphery. Not that they ever stood a chance anyway. In the end, their father will always uphold his precious Rhaenyra over them. Their mother plays the part of a mere trophy wife, though she is a noble Hightower herself, having to feign contentment in spite of all the times she and her children are slighted. 

Aemond thought himself calmer now, and matured. Painstakingly made every effort to be far from that weak boy who had no place anywhere. He is still unsure if he likes the person that he is, and perhaps he never has. But he morphed - or masked - this self-loathing into an unfailing desire to do better, to be better. He’s always wanted more. And he has learned to be strong for his mother, his sister. Himself. 

And now, you. How unpredictable you had been, bursting into his life like the Dornish comet of ‘07. He knew early on that you liked him, sort of, with how your eyes would dart back and forth to his direction whenever he’s in the room. 

It made him uneasy, at first, when his looks developed in such a way that garnered him plenty of attention. The spectre of the city turned ‘Prince of the city’, a strapping young man who can have anyone he wishes. 

But, funnily enough, all those socialites, models, glorified urban princesses with millionaire parents, Aegon’s harem of traditionally near-perfect friends from Lys that he often offers - none of them ever stood a chance to you, his sister Helaena’s earnest, gentle, and quick-witted best friend. 

Aemond would be lying if he said he fell for you immediately. It would be far from his nature to do such a thing. But he had, slowly, found himself enveloped in your light, and only feeling warm, only feeling home - only feeling like he could truly love himself - when you look at him with those soul-piercing eyes of yours. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all, if you can see him in the way you do. And he trusts your judgement; when you profess to want him in turn,  then he must be worth more than he thinks.

But the night of the accident, his forsaken shadow seemed to envelop him like an old friend. One that he can never shake. His anger, his darkness. He had long buried the Aemond Targaryen who frequently got into fistfights. The Aemond who deliberately ordered the expulsion of certain people he simply did not like from the employ of their company. The Aemond who chose to openly mock the truth of his raven-haired cousins’ parentage.

That night, that Aemond resurfaced, and with dire consequences. 

The night of the accident, four months before the Dragonstone ball

The storm had begun just before the board meeting ended. Heavy rain spattered against the Driftmark tower, with the night sky illuminated by streaks of lightning.

Aemond and Lucerys were coming to a head at the council table, and the other members were having to intervene at multiple points, just to mitigate the rising tension. The storm brewing inside the young men’s hearts could easily rival the one threatening to flood the streets.

Lucerys repeatedly interrupted Aemond’s suggestions, having grown tired of his own being cast aside by everyone else. 

“Wait for your turn to speak, my Strong nephew.” Aemond smoothly countered when he did not get to finish addressing Vaemond Velaryon.

“I didn’t think what you were saying was particularly important, uncle.” Luke retaliated in kind.

“Hmm. Some things never change, it seems. You still don’t know your place.”

“My place will soon be the highest seat of Driftmark. And you will still be grandfather’s second son, a mere placeholder at Dragonstone.”

“Please, sirs,” the meeting director complained. “We must get on with more urgent matters.”

Aemond and Luke barely contribute for the remaining minutes, opting to glare and sneer at each other from across the table.

But their council tiffs would not end up being the most unpleasant occurrence for that night. As if the storm also cast its darkness over their reasoning, they soon found themselves racing towards Gods Eye.

-----------------------------

It was meant to be a game. A show of bravado. Two young men, though in their depths still wounded boys, found themselves spewing offenses in an attempt to lower the other.

“You might inherit Driftmark, but everyone knows the truth, plain as day. You will always be a bastard.”

“Sure, but I am still more than you. What have you ever truly accomplished, uncle? Poor y/n, if she’s fallen for your tricks. Does she know who you truly are? She’s too bloody good for you.”

When Luke raised the challenge of racing to the edge of the cliff of Gods Eye, Aemond grasped at the opportunity to humiliate his nephew. To prove all of his claims to be wrong.

It might have been either one of them, or both, who deigned to edge their car close to the other’s, trying to veer it off course. Just a little nudge to make it spin out of the road.

But the turbulent weather was strong, causing mud and water to pool along the gravel. When the cars collided, Aemond’s took the brunt of the hit. Before he could even register the impact, his car was already spinning right towards the treeline. 

Luke had veered off road, his car rotating upside down. His right leg suffered from multiple fractures, including a busted knee cap.

But Aemond… 

His screams resounded despite the ceaseless pattering of rain, louder than even the roaring thunder overhead. A shard of glass had been wedged deep on one side of his face, splitting the flesh open. 

So much blood had pooled into his one remaining eye, that he feared he went entirely blind. The memory of your face flashed across his mind, and he despaired at the thought of never being able to see you again.

Later in the operating room, when the full extent of his injuries was delineated to him, Aemond thought that perhaps, it is you who would never want to see him again.

Why would you, with what has now become of his appearance?

Two months before the Dragonstone ball

You’re finding it hard not to keep tabs on Aemond, still asking Helaena every now and then if he’s really alright. To which she always responds with some version of “He’s okay. He just needs some time.”

Time. That’s fine. You suppose that the accident must have shaken him up, enough to cause him to go into hiding and to avoid everyone.

Unfortunately… painfully, including you. 

You find your mind drifting back to him every day - during your lectures, at work, at home, whenever you’re spending time with Helaena and you’re trying so hard to simply not just pester her about her brother. 

You think back to those secret moments you shared in crowded rooms, up in their penthouse, whenever Aegon would throw a party. Back then, you did not know one another yet, not really. But he would sit on the couch adjacent to yours, shoot you a smile, and silently keep you company while you wait for Helaena to return. He did so because he could sense that you were anxious, and that loud gatherings aren’t really your thing, as he revealed to you when you were… dating. As short of a time as that might have been. 

Gradually, you got to know him, in all those rare moments. His knowing, mischievous smiles. The subtitles nuances in his expression. His calculated manner of speaking.

You knew him, you had him, you lost him. Well, you do still know him - he is your friend, is he not? But it just as well could have been the end, the night of the accident. He has become a kind of spectre to you, leaving you yearning for what could have been. 

Weekends offer some respite from the whole ordeal of having to miss him. Your job at the bookstore allows you to just sit in silence, entertain customers once in a while, and bury your nose in your book-of-the-week.

Once in a while, a friend even drops by. This time, Jace burst through the entryway, bell chiming in his wake, beaming with a brown takeaway bag in one hand.

“Hey, stranger,” you put down your novel, and leave your post on the counter to greet your dear friend with a tight hug. Jace takes note of the fact that your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and his spirits sink. But he immediately gets to work on making you feel better.

“I’d say you’re going to love me for this, but you probably do already,” he says, presenting you with the paper bag.

“Don’t be so sure,” you jokingly say, narrowing your eyes at him, before peering inside, hit with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and pastries.

You shrug, starting to dig in with no hesitation. “Actually, good of you to be sure.”

He laughs as you drop the bag on the counter, and rip it open to reveal all the goods. He takes his own coffee and leans closer to have a bite of the profiterole you eagerly wave in front of his face.

“Thanks,” you manage to puff out, with a mouthful of pastry. 

“Anytime, sweet.” Jace swallows, giving you a once over. “How are you holding up?”

It’s hard to act all nonchalant when he gives me those puppy-dog eyes. Jace’s innate sincerity almost makes you want to just cave in and vent all about Aemond.  “Nice of you to be concerned, but it’s not like I was the one who got into an accident.”

“I know, sassy, but I also know that you and Aemond were… you have seen him recently, no?” he asks, sounding certain of the answer to his question, which downright confuses you.

“No,” you shake your head. “Along with the rest of the city, I haven’t seen nor heard anything from him.”

“Really?” he remarks, incredulous.

“Come on, Jace,” you take a comforting sip of coffee, still warm. “You know this. He doesn’t want to see me.”

“Huh,” his head tilts back slightly as he mulls over your response. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“I could’ve sworn that was his car parked across the street. Right outside.” he says, jutting his thumb over his shoulder. You freeze, but your eyes are drawn straight toward the shop windows.

“That’s not - ,” That’s not possible, you want to say. But your feet already drag you to the edge of the shop, with Jace in tow. “Which one is his?” you ask, knowing Aemond’s got quite a few cars, privileged boy that he is. Your voice comes out in a hushed tone, as if you don’t want Aemond himself to hear. Ridiculous, you chide yourself, it probably isn’t even him.

“That silver Jaguar idling on the curb,” Jace answers, and you see it. Slantwise on the opposite side of the road, stopped right before the bus stop across the bookshop.

“Are you sure?”What the hell could he be here for? You didn’t want to admit it, but you feel the hope right in your bones. You want him here, of course. You want him to come see you.

“Yes,” Jace easily replies. “There’s only one vehicle in the city with that personalized plate."

Before you can stop yourself, you take a tentative step outside, hand still on the shop door.. I’m sure he can see me, if he’s really there.

The windows of the Jaguar have the darkest tint, making it nearly impossible to see inside. 

“That’s him,” Jace says from behind you. “He doesn’t let anyone else drive his cars. I even thought he was already inside the shop when I arrived.”

“Well shit,” you breathe, your heart racing in your chest. “What do I do?”

“What is he doing?”

“Fuck it.” You only manage to take a step forward on the sidewalk before the car roars to life, engine purring smoothly. Aemond maneuvers the car from its spot and leaves, driving right past you, a cloud of leaves and dust billowing all around.

“What the fuck?” Jace scoffs, thoughtfully waving his arm around to keep the dust from your face. “What is he on?”

“Aemond,” his name escapes your lips in a soft whisper. A silent plea that will never reach him, but you say it all the same. That it doesn’t matter to you, whatever state he is in after the accident. That even though he chose Alys over you, you can understand, or at least try to. He is still the same boy who captured your heart not so long ago. 

But why did he just leave? What is he so scared of?

“Come on,” Jace says, holding the door open for you. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

When you go past the entryway, you turn on your heel and hang up the ‘On a break. Come back soon’ sign on the door. Sighing heavily, you shrug at Jace, “What a day, huh. You sure know how to bring drama with you.”

Jace only smiles, well-used to your banter, “How is this my fault?”

“I dunno,” you raise your hands, and walk back to the counter. You’re not sure how you feel at the moment - anxious, worried, disappointed? It’s all up in a haze since Aemond suspiciously drove off, and so, you can’t control the flood of dry sarcasm spilling out of you. Like some kind of coping mechanism. “You must have called Aemond here, so you two can drive my poor heart into a frenzy. Like I don’t already have a lot on my plate.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Jace slowly nods, playing along. “Aemond hasn’t even spoken to me since everything went down. But I definitely sought him out today, and definitely forced him to watch you from out there in his car like some obsessed creep.”

“I knew it!”

-----------------------------

Fifteen minutes into your impromptu break, the tone has lightened to some degree, and you sit at a corner table with Jace, sipping the remains of your coffee.

After a lot more banter, and catching up about Luke, Joff, and the rest of his family - those who can still tolerate your presence,that is - Jace finds you staring blankly at a bookshelf. “Hey,” he says, “I don’t think my uncle is hiding in between those books.”

“Ha-ha.”

“Anyway, enough about him, eh?” Jace offers, taking your hand from across the table. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

You squeeze his hand in return, staring back into his doe brown eyes, “Yeah?”

“Seeing as Aemond isn’t taking you to the Dragonstone ball,” he pauses, gauging your reaction. He decides that it’s all good when you remain impassive, “How would you like to come with me instead? I did mean to ask you, you know, but dear uncle beat me to it.”

“Oh.” Your hand loosens around his a bit, as you take in his words. “Well, I mean I would love to but - ”

Jace adds quickly, as if he is already reading the thoughts whirring through your mind. “No pretenses about it, I assure you. I’m not expecting anything else. Just that you honour me by being my partner to the ball.”

“Mmm,” your shoulders relax, and you find yourself smiling at Jace’s heartfelt nature. One that immediately warmed you to him when you first met. “Partners, huh?”

His tongue makes a clicking sound in confirmation. “What do you say?” 

“Jace,” you start, weighing the options in your mind. “I would go with you, of course - ”

“That settles it then.”

“- but I just… I don’t know, if… Aemond does not want to see me, maybe I shouldn’t just show up at the ball?”

Jace rolls his eyes, “He doesn’t own the bloody ball, you know. He can’t control whether you come or not.” He leans in, voice lowering like he’s sharing a devious ploy, “Besides, if he doesn’t want to see you, then why would he be loitering across the street simply to watch you through the shop windows? Let’s be real now, eh?”

Fair point. You reply, “Far be it from me to know what he’s up to.”

“So come to the ball with me and ask him yourself. I’ll even back you up. With my own pitchfork and everything.” The way his eyes blaze in excitement sparks something in you. Being around Jace is always fun, like you’re free to do anything - you could even cause any kind of trouble and he would only be cheering you on. 

If only… if only you liked him the way you do a certain someone, then you might actually have a greater sense of calm. Your self-doubt might be assuaged, your days brighter. 

But no. It is Aemond who fills your wandering thoughts. Aemond who haunts your sleepless nights. It was him who nearly made your heart stop that night on their rooftop, who laughed with you and held you close when you were a fumbling, wine-stained mess. 

Perhaps unfortunately so… it is Aemond whom you love.

That realization makes you straighten in your seat, scaring some sense back into you. Fuck, what am I even thinking? It’s Jace right in front of me. Jace who is asking me to the ball. 

“You got yourself a deal, mister,” you playfully hold your hand out for him to shake.

-----------------------------

Later that night, the Targaryen penthouse in the Crownlands Tower is relatively quiet. Most of the family is away, save for Helaena, their housekeeper Talia…

… and Aemond, who sits in front of his desk, staring at the object atop it which is aglow under lamplight. His eye drifts to the metal surface of the lampshade itself, and he sees it. A scar stretched from his forehead to his cheekbone, with its edges tinged with maroon. 

Revolting. It’ll take some time to heal, they all say. Well it’s been two long fucking months, and it doesn’t feel any better. Nothing feels right.

It isn’t fair, his mother wailed upon seeing him. None of this is. It was the rogue Lucerys’ fault, she insisted, for egging Aemond to go on a damned speed chase in the middle of fucking storm.

His father Viserys merely appraised him for a long moment, before mumbling something that sounded like, “I am sorry this happened, but you’ll be alright”. Then to his mother, “Lucerys is injured as well. This is what they’ve always done, as you know. Luke and Aemond don’t really get along but they’re grown now.”

He added with a warning gaze to Aemond, “They have to learn to be civil to one another. We are all family, after all.”

“Family,” Alicent spat the word like a curse. “Family should not be the cause of grievous harm.”

Aemond remembers the shrug that Viserys did. It is a gesture he has seen endlessly, it might even be the first thing he remembers of his father. All of his pains, and his achievements will always be met with a nonchalant gesture. Some father he is.

There’s only one thing that would make Aemond feel better in this moment, and even that, he cannot allow himself to have. He shall not present himself, this self, to you. He looks at his reflection and he hates what he sees. Perhaps he always has. But he also learned to love himself around you. How easy it can be, like second nature. 

Maybe he was drawn to the fact that you are not from his world, with all its intrigue and playacting. How you choose not to perceive status as a tool, and how you can be kind to anyone. You, the girl who always keeps a book in her bag, even at parties, even if she most likely won’t have time to read it. Just in case, you had said, you never know. You, though very well-mannered, called one of Helaena’s so-called friends a “spoiled cunt”, when you heard her making nasty jokes at Helaena’s expense behind her back.

“Sorry you had to hear that,” you had said to Aemond in a grumbling tone, still quite irate, when you found out that he was just in the library adjacent to their living room. “They were just being so… so…”

“Fucking rude?” he finished your thought, his dimples showing in amusement when your eyes widened. “Don’t worry, doll. Maybe I would have done the same. Though that Beatrice would never say shit about Helaena in front of me, seeing as she tried to claw off my jacket once. Her fake nail got caught in the leather. Her attempt at seduction, I suppose.”

Your mouth fell open, then closed once more. You were at a loss. Your blood was just boiling at having to confront Beatrice, who has thankfully left the penthouse, and now Aemond is standing in front of you. Aemond, sharing some story, in good humour. About some girl trying to get with him, and failing. Later on, you will find yourself jumping in frustration in your living room, thinking how in the hell your mind must have short-circuited because you responded with, “It’s a good thing I keep my fingernails trimmed and plain then.”

It was Aemond's turn to stand there, lips parted in surprise at your sudden show of audacity. Where has this girl been hiding all this time? Or has she always been this way? Then your face morphs into one of shock, and you remain still, waiting for some other pin to drop. Something to distract Aemond so you can mumble some excuse and run away. Aemond observes the minute changes in your expression, like you’re struggling to get your bearings, and he finds it all endearing.

Suddenly, the door you had been leaning against is pried open, making you take a step closer to Aemond. An unruly, blonde mop of hair that can only belong to Aegon pokes itself inside, “What are you nerds doing in the damn library?”, then he turns on his heel letting the door slowly close on its hinges, “Never mind, I’m gonna get a drink!”

At the exact same time, you and Aemond burst out in a fit of laughter, the pure and melodic sound of it echoing throughout the room. The very first time that Aemond witnessed you laughing freely in front of him, and his thoughts would later drift back to this moment. To the way your eyes lit up, how your teeth clamped down on your bottom lip to keep from laughing harder, and how your dainty hand clasped his forearm, holding on to him for a while.

He did not know then, not yet at least, that he had started falling for you.

When your desire had become apparent, you did not attempt to cross a line. Correctly inferring that Aemond valued his solitude, you became content with admiring him from afar, treasuring every small interaction. 

Everyone keeps remarking at how different he is around you, and maybe you do not realize the truth of their claims, because you had never seen him… like this. So broken. His mask of composure torn to shreds.

No longer the caring, attentive, and self-assured Aemond you claimed to desire. 

“Aemond?” Helaena's voice drifts from his door, which is opened narrowly. She silently lets herself inside when he does not respond.

“Care for some dinner?” she asks, her gentle voice almost breaking through Aemond’s resolve. Perhaps it might have been able to, but not anymore.

“No, I’m not hungry.” Aemond answers, barely audible.

“Right.” Helaena doesn’t press further; she knows that nothing will shake her brother while he’s in such a state, so she tries to bring up something else. Something that might get his attention. “So, I, uh… y/n just called me.”

Helaena notices Aemond slightly tense up at the mention of your name. So that’s what it takes, she thinks.

“Aemond,” she steps closer, now standing beside his chair. “Why were you outside the bookstore where she works?”

Aemond shuts his eyes. Of course you had seen him. And he saw you, clear as day. Beautiful as ever. With bloody Jace right next to you, laughing while sharing some coffee he had brought. 

“She misses you, you know,” Helaena says, and the words drive straight through Aemond’s heart. “I really think you just should speak to her.”

“Hmm.”

“What are you even afraid of?”

A long pause, as Helaena waits for a reply. Fidgeting with the edge of her sweater, she begins to say something more, when Aemond finally says, in a muffled, reluctant tone, “She deserves better.”

“Of course she does!” Helaena perches on the edge of Aemond’s desk, and his eye drifts over her for just a second, before looking down at the object again. “So call her and - ”

“Better than me.” Aemond clarifies, croaking the final word as if in pain.

“Oh, Aemond.” Helaena’s lifts an arm in an attempt to offer comfort, but Aemond instinctively flinches.

“No.” He breathes. “I can’t.”

Helaena nods in understanding, though her heart aches at the sight of her brother like this. She looks to the side, and sees the journal-seeming object sitting on his brother’s desk. The thing he seems to be staring at. 

Helaena lets her fingers run over the smooth forest green cover, and she instantly recognizes it to be Valyrian leather. A rare commodity, so this must not be just any ordinary journal.

“May I?” she whispers, to which her brother shrugs in response.

She gently pries open the leather clasp, and she sees a dedication on the first page, in a swooping scrawl that can only be Aemond’s. Some special ink was used, staining the page with a deep shade of maroon. It reads in High Valyrian, their native language - Ñuha prūmia iksis aōhon.

“I meant to give that to her… before…”

My heart is yours.

“Aemond-” Helaena mutters, her mind stuck on the words, and she knows exactly who they are meant for.

Aemond abruptly rises from his seat, and puts on his black coat, “Just put that back where you found it.” Reaching for something else on his desk, he puts it on his face to conceal his deformity.

Before her brother reaches the door, Helaena manages to voice out, “Where are you going?”

“Away.”

Two weeks before the Dragonstone ball

The accident finally seems to have departed from the mainstream, turning into fodder for small talk as all sensational news pieces do. 

Unsurprisingly, despite the tragic event, excitement abounds. The city is buzzing in anticipation. Everyone is already poring over the main list of attendees which has been made public online. You only glanced at it once to confirm that you are on the list as Jace’s partner, but something else catches your attention. You immediately close the tab in your browser after you read - Aemond Targaryen - and across from his name, as his designated partner - Alys Rivers.

“For fuck’s sake,” you sigh, biting your lip. You opt to open Youtube, but immediately your homepage reminds you of your recent activities. Not stalking, no. Just some curious research. Aemond has never been one to give interviews. That’s more in Aegon’s wheelhouse. Daeron especially, since he also works as a model, gracing the front cover of Vogue thrice already at only 22. 

When Aegon graces the headlines, it’s most likely due to some disorderly conduct at a high-class party or a local dive bar. True to his brand, there is no in-between when it comes to Aegon. It’s either go big or go home. Which usually means he ends up drunk on the sidewalk, having to call Aemond to pick him up and give him a ride without letting their parents know.

But they always find out, of course. It’s hard to be discreet when you’re one of the most recognizable faces in the country.

As for Aemond, you’ve always found it hard to find even a single crumb of him from the internet. Save for a couple of sightings, including those of him and Alys Rivers, and clippings from the few times when he would speak in press conferences on behalf of Dragonstone. But even those were kept mostly private, and not freely available on Youtube. 

As it happens, there have been some rumours of Aemond allegedly coming into blows with the Duke of Lannister and his entourage, after humiliating the man’s sister. Onlookers claimed that they saw the poor girl coming onto Aemond at some party in Pentos, flirting with him. Apparently, he was far from welcoming of her affections. There were some pictures of the fight, or at least, that’s what people say. You were not in the loop when the news spread, sitting through a lecture. Any trace of such pictures quickly vanished from the internet. The Targaryens are always on the lookout to protect their precious image, but they’ve never done anything so methodical when it comes to such occurrences, such as Aegon’s countless mishaps. 

Aemond does have an Instagram profile. You asked him about it once, ages ago, even before your brief - what would you call it… Tryst? Dating period? Well, whatever it was, it’s all done for now.

“Was it your idea to have a profile anyway?” you asked him, after he had playfully teased you about stalking him. That was the only verified account of Aemond’s that you found, complete with the blue tick. His profile was empty, and the following list was at a whopping zero. Though of course, he had about 3.7 million followers, just waiting for the moment that he would choose to do anything on the site.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Aemond looked down and smiled, and you did not know it, but he found himself feeling warm due to the interest you were giving him. He’s confident about nearly everything, but when on the receiving end of attention from the woman he secretly longed for, he felt almost shy. “It was mostly due to the fact that I wanted to have one sole verified account online. I’ve heard talks of impersonators sending people messages and all that. Fucking annoying.”

“Ah, yeah.” You did not tell him, of course, but you knew of those fake accounts, having clicked on several slightly convincing ones to see if they were actually his. But none of them matched. You found yourself muttering, “He would never post that.”

“Didn’t hurt that I got to look through your pictures, too, love.” He smirked then, regaining his confidence. 

You nearly melted into a puddle on the fancy designer-carpeted floors of their apartment, right then and there.

That doesn’t matter now. You sigh, slamming your laptop shut. Instead you choose to dramatically jump onto your bed and growl your frustrations out onto a pillow. 

You roll over, amused at the whole thing. The digital alarm clock Helaena gave you reads 6:32 pm, it’s a Friday night, and you’re left with nothing to do. You’ve already finished the majority of your exams, and for the next month or two, you’re free to go on holiday and do whatever you wish.

But what? You finally decide to give Helaena a call, and reach for your phone on the nightstand. But right then, it lights up. ‘Hel’s Bells’ is calling you. An inside joke the two of you came up with about a week after you met.

“Speak of the devil,” you smile, and press accept. “Hel! I hope you’re just about as bored as I am.”

She laughs on the other end, “I don’t even have time to be bored. Mother has us doing all these preparations for the ball.”

“Do you need any help? I’m no expert at pomp and pageantry but I’ll do my best.” She had just stayed at your apartment a few nights ago for a sleepover, and you noticed that she was careful when mentioning anything about the ball. Trying not to stray into Aemond and Alys territory for your sake, you assumed.

“Sure, come over whenever you want. I don’t really have any idea what it’s all for, but hey, at least we get to put on fancy dresses and look pretty.”

“Oh, you always look pretty,” you say sincerely. 

“Thank you, doll,” she says, before sighing dramatically. “Anyway, I actually called to tell you something. You’re going to come over to our place on Sunday night. We’re throwing a little party.”

“A party, huh.” Will Aemond be there, you wanted to ask, but held back. 

You haven’t seen him for the last three months, after the fateful night of the accident. There was that incident when he parked outside the bookstore, but it was barely anything. 

Word on the street is that the ‘Prince of the city’ had gone into hiding, as comical as that sounds to you. For what exactly? There has been speculation - perhaps he was left horribly disfigured from the accident, which is also why there isn’t any trace of the alleged pictures taken of him in Pentos. But Helaena immediately dissuaded that notion. My brother is not disfigured, she insisted when you brought it up, he’s simply recovering.

If Aemond wants to keep things to himself, then he has the right to do so. He would tell you if he wanted. Call you, send you a message. Anything. 

“A party,” Helaena repeats. “It’ll be for our inner circle. Which includes you, of course. A little prequel to the ball, so everyone can catch up with each other.”

“Aegon’s idea?” you guessed with a wry smile. 

“There might be a direct correlation there, yeah,” Helaena laughs. “Anyway, come over! Since you’re coming with Jace to the ball, then we have to plan everything for you, too! What colour dress do you want to wear? Well, there is a theme but we’ll work with that. Mum assigned a stylist and hairdresser for me, which means they’re for you too and - ”

“Hel, I don’t really need - ”

Then she says something that puts a stop to your protest. “Oh, Aemond won’t know what’ll hit him.”

“Huh.” The thought of seeing Aemond again gives you a surge of excitement. And nervousness. Your yearning for him reawakens, but it never truly left.

Having made her point, Helaena knows she’s got you hook, line and sinker. “I’ll expect you in the next hour.”

-----------------------------

Sunday came rolling over soon enough, and the party at the Targaryen penthouse is well under way.

The ballroom on the 2nd floor is packed, filled with people whom you either don’t know or barely recognize. Of course, it wouldn’t be complete without some snooty heirs and heiresses who would openly regard you with what could be confusion or derision. Until a Targaryen or Velaryon would approach you and eagerly whisk you away in conversation.

“Who is she?” you hear someone say when Jace takes your hand and directs you to sit on the couch with him and Daeron. “Why is Jace so close to her? And what on earth is she wearing?”

Unfazed by it all, and already used to such comments, you smile sweetly in that girl’s direction and greet her with a friendly, “Hi, how are you doing?”, without giving her a chance to respond.

Jace watches the exchange proudly. As you sit down, he says, “Aegon invited her, I think. I don’t really know, I don’t like her much.”

“How come?” you jest. “You two have so much in common. Heirs to the kingdom and all that.” Your sarcasm again comes out of you in waves, trying to temper your nerves. You look around the room, though it is not the first time you’ve scanned through everything. 

“I’d much prefer your company,” Jace easily says, then notices your divided attention. “He isn’t here.”

In a transparent attempt at surprise, you ask,“Who?”

Daeron overhears the exchange, after his friend stands up to get a drink. “Aemond’s not here, y/n. At least I haven’t seen him. Last I heard he was holed up in our holiday estate in Pentos.”

“Oh.” Your face visibly falls. You didn’t know what to expect, really. Of course Aemond would  not just show up at this party after avoiding everyone for too long.

“He will be at the Dragonstone ball though,” Daeron pats your knee in sympathy. “He might be going through some shit, but mum would lynch him if he misses that event.”

Jace and Daeron continue to look at you, seeing if they need to offer more comfort, and you can’t stand it. “Alright, you two. Thanks for… I don’t know… but this is a party! We should just go and have fun. No need to be concerned about me and…” You choke up at his name, negating your false show of indifference. 

“Okay,” Jace says, saving you from saying anything further. “How about I get you a drink, hmm?”

“Yeah,” you say, but something crosses your mind. You stand at the same time as Jace, grabbing his arm, “Actually, I’ll go get some air first.”

“Are you alright?” This time, Jace’s sincere gaze is not enough to distract you from that familiar gnawing ache.

“I am,” you smile placatingly. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

-----------------------------

Aemond Targaryen, contrary to what everyone in the party believes, is no longer wasting his days in Pentos. 

He had slipped back into the city earlier that night, and in the safety of their 7-floor penthouse. Right in time for the revelry. He has no intention of making an appearance, but when Helaena let it slip that you would be attending, he could not help himself.

The fact that you would be under the same roof was enough to get Aemond to scurry back home. While he might not be ready to show himself just yet, there are methods which allow him to see you. Watch you.

Helaena would probably smack him upside the head, if she found out. That not only had Aemond come back without telling her, but also that he is watching her friend through the CCTV cameras littered throughout the penthouse. 

Perhaps it is unsavoury, and you might cross your arms and huff at him if you found out. Oh, what I would give to see that in person. But he’ll take what he can get. Do what he must. To still have you, still see you. 

His left knuckle is taut, still bandaged and bruised from his recent activities. Luckily, the stitches on his face had not come loose and the medical treatment his mother is putting him through has done considerable wonders. What would you think, I wonder, if you saw me like this, my love.

His laptop is propped up on his desk, right next to the green journal he means to give you. On the screen, he watches as you trail Helaena for a while. As you sit alone, watching everything unfold. As Jace comes for you, and you sit together on a couch. Too close. Too comfortable for Aemond’s liking. Is something going on between you and my fucking Strong nephew? 

When news reached him that you would be coming to the ball with Jace, Aemond had broken something. He can barely remember what it was, just the sound of it shattering against the wall. A wine bottle? A vase? A mirror? Whatever it was sent his company fleeing from their table, and Criston had rushed forward to make sure that he wasn’t harmed.

Aemond glares at the screen you walk after Jace and whisper something close to his ear. 

Jace regards you for a long while. He better not…

But then you nod and smile, stepping away from him. Aemond finds himself breathing a sigh of relief, predictably, and he almost snorts at his own reaction. 

You walk out of the ballroom, and Aemond has to switch between cameras to follow your path. You pause down the hallway, and lean next to the wall.

What are you doing, ñuha jorrāelagon?

Seemingly decided on something, you swing the door to the staircase, forgoing the elevator. The cameras on each landing track you as you continue to climb upward, panting slightly when you finally reach the entrance to the rooftop.

You take slow, sure steps toward the golden railing. For a moment, you just stand there, seemingly watching the city below.

I have to see you. I have to try. In a split decision, Aemond slinkers out of his room, the party below still unaware of his presence. 

Then he heads up the flight of stairs as you had done, feeling more apprehensive with each step. What do I even say to you? Do you still want to see me? He finally reaches the final landing, and heart in his throat, he pries the door open as silently as possible.

You no longer stand at the railing. Instead, he spies you sitting on the plush seat the two of you shared on that one night. Facing away from the entrance, looking up at the stars. 

Aemond knows that isn’t as it was before. He cannot simply approach you and watch as your eyes immediately welcome the sight of him. It’s not the same, and it is all his fault. He wonders if your heart might still race because of him, or will it have become cold, after all this time?

He draws closer, with each footstep uncertain. But your pull is stronger, taking precedence over all of his worries. 

“I miss you,” is all he can bring himself to say, throwing caution to the wind. You freeze at the sound of his voice. 

Then a shiver runs up his spine as it dawns on him - in his haste to see you, he left his eyepatch in his room below.

-----------------------------

I must be dreaming. The hairs along your arms stand in your shock, and you keep both hands flat on the seat to keep you steady. 

Is it… You start to turn back, but cease all movement when Aemond pleads, “Don’t. Please don’t turn around.”

“Aemond?” your voice is shaky, and you feel a tear threaten to escape. “They said… we all thought…”

“They do not know that I am back yet,” he answers. “Just you.”

“Oh.” Your head is still turned to the side, and you have to fight the urge to simply rise from your seat and face him. You exhale, trying to calm down. When that doesn’t work, you lean back against the seat, and force yourself to count the windows on the building down the road. 

6… 7… 8… 

But the sudden feeling of his hands on your shoulders makes you lose all train of thought.

“Did you miss me?” Aemond asks, standing right behind your seat now, his sweater grazing the back of your head.

Your mind is flooded with thoughts of all that happened between the two of you - the beginning, the brief affair, the end. Is it the end? 

Answer him. “Did I miss you?” you bite your lip, and your brows scrunch in frustration. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Your expletive makes Aemond take a step back. “I-I’m sorry…”

“I’ve been so worried about you, Aemond!” Your hands bunch up into fists beside you. You did not realize you had all this pent up anger, with the past few months being spent pining. Longing. Yearning. Like some silly little fool. When he didn’t even make any effort to reach out to you, and the most you got from him was that episode outside the bookstore.

“Oh yeah, and what the hell were you doing outside my place of work?” you stand then, and lean against the railing in front of you, careful not to turn and catch a glimpse of him. “You wanted to speak to me? Well, why didn’t you just do that?” You can feel your erratic heartbeat pounding in your chest, and for a moment you become afraid that it might just stop altogether. 

“I did want to speak to you. To see you.” Aemond sighs heavily. “I always want to see you, my darling. You’re all I’ve ever thought about since - ”

“Yeah, right. I bet you did.” You threw the offhand accusation over your shoulder.

“I did,” Aemond swears. “I miss you every day, I -”

His voice is softer than before, and kind of nervous. Your resolve is at risk of breaking, because… Why does Aemond sound… broken?

He finishes, “I just needed some time.”

There are so many more that you want to ask him - What really happened in that accident? Where have you been all this time? What is going on with you and Alys? Where do we truly stand?

But instead you mutter the one thing you are most certain of, “I miss you too.”

Aemond breathes a sigh of relief. He moves to stand behind you, and steps closer. 

Closer. You don’t dare move a muscle, because you just might turn around and forget about his request. He moves closer, until his chest is pressed against you from behind. Closer, until his hands squeeze both of yours on the railing.

You feel Aemond rest his face on your shoulder, inhaling deeply. At this point, he is practically enveloping you. Each breath he takes warms your neck. His thumbs run over your knuckles, and he says, “Are you still angry at me?”

“Should I be?” You lean your head back to rest on his right shoulder. From the corner of your eye, he looks as he always has. Almost ethereal, with his silver-blonde Targaryen hair and sharp, defined features. 

Aemond moves his head slightly toward the left, careful not to reveal the ruined side to you, when he feels your wandering gaze. 

“Please don’t be angry with me,” he pleads. You hum in affirmation, and in a lower voice, he purrs, “Close your eyes, darling.”

You try to ask why, but then you feel his lips lightly press against the nook between your neck and your shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut on their own goddamn volition.

His mouth parts even more, before coming down once again and nipping at your skin. His arms wrap themselves around your waist, and his hold tightens until your entire body is flush against him.

Still, you haven’t seen all of him. 

Your hand reaches up to touch him, and your fingertips graze the side of his face. When your thumb runs over a bit of what must be raised flesh, like some partially healed lesion, Aemond jumps away. At once, you feel the cool evening air hit you, the warmth of his embrace having gone.

“What is - ” you start to ask.

“It’s nothing.”

“Aemond…” you hesitate. What could possibly be so terrible, he won’t even allow me to look at him? “If anything happened to the way you look… it wouldn’t matter to me. You would still be the same boy that I lo - ” The words hitch in your throat, their sentiment heavier than anything you’ve ever said. 

Everything is at a standstill. Aemond does not say a single word, but you know that he understood what you were trying to say. He must.

And how can I even gauge his reaction when I can’t even look at him?

“Aemond?” 

Much to your surprise, his voice is already farther away when he responds with a hurried, “I’ll see you at the ball.” 

You swiftly turn around in your disbelief. Did he just fucking leave? 

The door to the penthouse shuts behind him, and you are left dumbfounded at his actions. The old Aemond would have never done that to you, but what do you know?

Perhaps my Aemond is truly gone.

The ball is coming up next!!! Reader may finally learn to let go of Aemond, or at least give him what he wants - a whole lot of space and time.

Also, reminder - Aemond's injury is still pretty fresh, considering the damage. So no, he hasn't stuck a sapphire in there yet. Imagine how little Aemond looked in episode 7, with angry stitches running down his face, but a bit more healed. His eye socket is still sewn shut, and it still causes him much pain, so go easy on our boy, y'all.

taglist still has some spots left! I've managed to continue it in the comments 🖤

and I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, and what you're hoping to read in the next part!!!

Series taglist: @caught-in-the-afterglow @aemondtargaryensrider @punggo66 @dollfaceyourfear @candypurplebutterfly @moonmaiden1996 @mxrgodsstuff @lolitaisreal @blue-serendipity @melsunshine @thejanecampaign @fxngsfxgxrty @padfooteyes @msmarvel-19 @tempo-rary-fix @lauraneedstochill @julczimozart @sarcasticfangirl @witchyvik @pyjama-shorts @bellaisasleep @zillahvathek @thincrusttheworks @krispold @yougotthatlove @raging-panda @fleetingly-artistic @throughgoeshamilton @polireader @katsav17 @minttea07 @kravitzwhore @meggiemay82 @hedonefox @daenysx @schniiipsel @namoreno @afro-hispwriter @aemondswifeisme @emcharra @malfoytargaryen @iiamthehybrid @fullmetalriotts @kellzlib @justsumtuffstuff @daydreamy-me @yentroucnagol @kezibear @queenofshinigamis @paprikaquinn

[they-call-me-emmy]

The Past is The Past 3

Part 1 and 2 on my account <3

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tara was faced with her 3 ghostface, and this time got so seriously injured she was in a coma. When she wakes up, she has no memory of the past 3 years...including you, her girlfriend.

Notes: Imagine this as our gals scream 7...since Jenna apparently quit and left me fucking DYING

Warnings: Uh, injury, violence, blood, our boy ghostyface with knives. Coma and memory loss if thats even a warning. Swearing. Uhm. Shitty 7th grade writing.

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Tara pushed the food around her plate using her fork. She'd barely eaten a bite all dinner, busy glaring at Sam and avoiding any sort of eye contact with Y/N.

"So." Sam began, putting a hand to her mouth and pausing, to finish chewing. "Y/N. How's life been treating you? I haven't seen you around in a while."

There was a second of silence as Y/N finished her food.

"Fine." She stated, setting her fork down on her napkin. "Work's been rough, but nothing besides that."

Sam nodded. "You work at that bookstore, right? The one with the bunny in the window? I drive by it on my way to the grocery store."

Tara had no idea what they were talking about. She hadn't gone shopping since she'd come home. What bookstore? What bunny? It was like listening to people speaking nonsense.

"Yeah. That's the one. Shifts have been longer recently, we're low on staff."

Sam nodded, continuing to eat. Y/N cleared her throat.

"Tara," Tara startled from her daze at the sound of her name, in Y/N's voice no less. "Sam's been telling me your getting back into horror? Is that true?"

Tara glared at Sam.

"I've always been into horror."

Y/N nodded, pursing her lips, sensing the tension in the room. The need to just...not talk.

"I was-" Y/N cleared her throat and took a sip of water. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to watch some of your favorites...y'know, the few we watched in the last year you really enjoyed? I wouldn't mind re-watching them with you."

Tara couldn't help but feel weird. She's watched movies with this girl. She'd watched horror movies. She'd watched horror movies and enjoyed them. With this girl? This girl she hardly knew now?

"Maybe."

Y/N nodded.

"I've been busy lately." Tara pushed a cooked carrot into her napkin. She didn't like those.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Tara, you've been sitting on your ass for the past week-"

Tara suddenly stood up. "I'm finished. I'm going to go wash the dishes." She took Sam and Y/N's plates and left without another word.

Tara knew they'd talk the moment she left. She hovered at the door, running the sink in the background so they'd think she was cleaning. Maybe they'd mention the big thing tonight. Maybe they'd say something that would finally help her understand her past.

"I'm sorry she's being an ass." Sam's voice was muffled through the kitchen door.

"It's fine. I wasn't expecting a heartwarming welcome. I mean, come on, I'm practically a stranger to her. And it's hard on her too, Sam. Remember she's struggling too."

Tara would have felt mad if anyone else had said this, as if they pitied her and felt sorry for her state of mind. But hearing those words, those words in Y/N's sweet voice...felt like reassurance that someone understand how she'd been struggling.

"I know...I'm trying to get her to...connect. Y'know? Re-enforce those bonds...god, you two were like peas in a pod. I can't imagine how long it'll take for that to be back, especially with her new...attitude." Sam sounded empathetic, but there was still a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm not expecting it to just click again...but I can wait. I'm assuming you haven't told her?" Y/N asked.

Tara could feel her heart beat a little faster. Was this it? Was she about to learn what this secret was that everyone seemed so desperate to avoid?

"No. I don't feel like it's the right time. I mean, you see the way she is. Putting that much more pressure on her is bound to do no good."

"You have to tell her at some point." Y/N said. "You and her would both prefer you telling her rather then her randomly learning one day, or even worse, getting a flash of memory from it. The doctor did say those happen, especially with traumatic experiences, at least in her case."

"I don't feel like now is the right time."

"Soon, Sam. Please. The girl deserves to know. This is important."

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I'm a slut for comments people.

[the-traveling-poet]

Hello 🥺🩷 I love your Levi x lieutenant y/n so much and I've been having an idea regarding Levi and lieutenant y/n but I couldn't find any Tumblr who'd make that request come to life unti I saw your head cold fanfic I was just in love . This is the idea I have in mind .... Levi and lieutenant y/n have grown up together from the time kuchel was alive they had a spark between them but after they joined the corps they became more focused on the duties they had and y/n chose to be his lieutenant to silently stay by his side . The scene where Levi was listening to Mikasa , Eren and armin sitting and talking about the outside world and sea after kenny dies , the trip leaves and Levi is sitting there tipsy when y/n comes and tries to tell him to go to sleep but then later she just sits down with him and they have a heartfelt talk with each other and how they have been one of the biggest supports in each other's life throughout their journey , they both indirectly confess how they feel and the other one gets it but they just sit there .

I know my request is very long but I have had this idea in my mind for such a long time I would really really be so greateful if you could make this idea come to life 🥹🙏💓🤍

Silent Confessions

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For as long as you could remember, Levi was at your side. From the moment your mothers met in the Underground and introduced their children to one another, up until you had both escaped that hell hole to become Captain and Lieutenant within the Survey Corps.

Over time, your bond had grown stronger with the more dangers you had thus far faced together.

Now, with a short break to prepare for the upcoming expedition to reclaim Wall Maria, you were able to spend some one on one time with your favorite shorty.

══════════════════════

Pairing: Levi x Lieutenant!Reader

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, mentions of mental struggles

SFW, friends-to-lovers, fluff, S3

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A/N: Okay YES, I LOVE this idea. So cute I cannot T-T I hope I brought your vision justice!! Sorry it took me longer than usual to post this, my job got in the way BIG time.

As always if somethings doesn’t meet your expectations, I’ll happily re-write!

Enjoy~ 🤎

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The cheers of many drunken men and women echoed off the halls as they celebrated the Scout’s most recent victory.

Yes, many had fallen and suffered injuries worse than death itself, but this was the farthest humanity had come to a victory in…well…ever. So of course, a celebration was in order.

The cadets from the 104th trainee corps all stood around their table, cheering and drinking and congratulating one another on their various deeds, finally at ease enough to relax and be themselves.

You smiled to yourself as you lifted your own mug to your lips, swallowing the burning bitter taste of whisky as it flowed down your throat. You felt good, for once. It had been longer than you’d liked to have admit since you allowed yourself an evening to let loose and enjoy your time in the present.

Downing your second drink, you quickly went to refill your mug before wandering around the mess hall; merely observing your comrades enjoy their rewarded night off.

Along the way, you caught many familiar voices in the crowd, which made you smile to yourself in relief.

Good, they made it back alive.

Seeing all these happy faces around you reminded you of a time that seemed oh so long ago. Back in the days you still had a bright glow of hope shining in your eyes. While you had more hope now than you’d had in years, you still couldn’t help but worry.

For the citizens of Paradis. For your companions. For your friends, and yourself. Would you live to see this war ended? Or would you join your late friends and meet their same fate?

Shaking your head, you sighed.

Tonight is about celebration. Letting go, and relaxing…that’s what I should be doing, too.

The longer you stood there lost in your own thoughts, the rowdier and louder it had become in the hall. Looking around, you found the main source of the sudden bombardment of cheers and shouts.

Between two tables stood Eren and Jean, fists gripping each other’s shirts as they sluggishly threw punches. You were tempted to intervene, but when you saw the calm look on Mikasa’s face near to where Eren stood, you let your posture relax again. The girl was usually so uptight about his safety, so seeing her relaxed reassured the two would be fine.

A presence to your left caught your eye, and you turned towards the man who now stood beside you.

“Evening, Levi,” you greeted softly.

He replied with a click of his tongue, his narrowed gaze never leaving the cadets to meet yours.

“I suppose they should be broken up. Again,” he scoffed, folding his arms.

“Perhaps…Just don’t go too hard on them.” You chuckled behind your drink. Finally Levi shot you a look from the corner of his eye, observing the way you brought the mug to your lips.

“I don’t suppose they had any of that?” He raised a brow, gesturing to your alcohol.

“Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. It would explain the sudden and poorly executed fighting, but I wasn’t babysitting them, so I cant say.” You shrugged nonchalantly, taking another sip as you watched the two boys go at it.

Shaking his head, Levi left your side and strode towards them, but his scowl wasn’t as deep-set now.

“Oi,” Levi called out, now standing behind the brawling teens. Two swift kicks sent them rolling, clutching their sides and stomachs.

“Go to bed.”

The boys started to frantically scatter at his threatening tone, but poor Jean crumpled on the ground. The sound of him losing his dinner and drinks all over the floor made you turn your head away with a grimace, quickly making your way to the door leading out of the hall.

“And someone clean that up,” you heard Levi grumble before the large wooden door closed behind you.

The cool night air caressed your face in a gentle breeze, barely ruffling through your hair. Breathing in deeply, you closed your eyes for a moment; enjoying the quiet stillness that was now your surroundings.

Of course, the banter and chatter of the soldiers in the hall behind you resonated off the cobblestone street at your feet, but as muffled as it was you could pretend you were far away in your own world for a moment.

You started to walk aimlessly, just to enjoy the solitude and the peace that came with it. But after some time, a trio of voices caught your attention.

Stopping in an ally way, you peaked around the corner to see Eren sitting on a flight of stone steps with Mikasa and Armin; all lost in their own private conversation.

For a moment, you contemplated joining them to check up on them, but a sudden shift in shadows to your left had you muffling a gaps of surprise.

Weary grey eyes met your own, looking up at you from the ground where he sat. After regulating your breathing, you offered him a small smile; of which he merely nodded to.

Levi lifted a bottle to his lips and took a couple gulps from the container before setting it back down between his legs and looking over his shoulder towards the street outside the alleyway.

It seemed you weren’t the only one eves-dropping.

You slowly and quietly took a seat beside your Captain, still clutching your own mug in your hand as you leaned against the wall beside him. You both waited until the young trio had left the street to retire the night, leaving you and Levi alone in the near darkness the ally provided.

“Didn’t think you drank,” you commended dryly.

“Just cause I don’t drink at every given opportunity doesn’t mean I don’t drink at all,” he responded quietly, taking another small sip of his beverage.

“Fair enough,” you shrugged, mimicking him and taking a strong swing from your mug.

A silence fell between you for a moment while you gazed up at what little of the night sky you could see from the ally way, before your attention was snatched away by Levi’s sudden comment.

“I can’t understand how they do it. Maybe it’s because they’re so young…But they retain their hopes and dreams, even after all they’ve seen and done.”

You thought over his words for a moment before you replied.

“That they do. They sound so passionate when they talk about their ambitions. I think, with their determination, they’ll get there some day. The ‘sea’ I think Armin called it.”

Levi scoffed quietly, but not quite in disapproval. The expression on his face wasn’t one you could fully decipher.

“I tried that, once; having dreams and ambitions. All it got me was a pile of corpses.”

Pouting slightly, you lowered your head to stare down at your feet, bringing your knees closer to your chest.

“Life is hard. It’s a constant struggle. But if there’s something you truly want…Something or someone you truly love…You find a way to keep moving forward. To keep fighting for that cause. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin obviously have something they truly want, so they keep fighting and maintain their hope.”

Here you paused, thinking over how to word your next question.

“So how about you? You’re still here. You’re still fighting. So that means you have something you want to obtain. Or see. Or someone worth struggling for. What is it you dream about?”

Levi caught your adamant stare, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. He held your gaze as he thought, giving you the opportunity to really study and memorize his features.

Handsome features, you thought.

Finally, after releasing a sigh he seemed to have been holding in, he lowered his gaze down to the stone below him and fiddled with his bottle.

“I’m alive because I need to be. The people need something or someone they can look to for protection. That’s my job.”

“And?” You pressed.

“And? And what? That’s it.” Levi scoffed, shooting you a confused glare.

“No…I don’t think it is. Something’s keeping you fighting. I know you. Since we were children.” You chuckled around the rim of your mug.

Levi grumbled under his breath, making you stifle a laugh and cut him off.

“I’m not sure how much you’ve had to drink tonight, Captain, but I can promise you whatever you say will be kept between the two of us. Just like old times.”

Shooting you one last look from over his bottle, he rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I said, I suppose I’m still going on because I want to see those I…tolerate…live a life of peace some day.” He paused over his words for a moment, but finally met your eye and continued.

“There aren’t many, but for those few I’d do anything for.”

“Awe Levi, am I by chance one of these few?” you decided to lightly tease, leaning in closer to him.

Surprisingly, he didn’t try to pull away. Instead he stayed still, his shoulder brushing up against yours. You could smell the booze on his breath, but you hardly minded.

“Seeing as you’re the only one left alive that I’ve known nearly since birth, I suppose I tolerate you.” He huffed. “You’ve…been there for me, time and time again…I’m not sure what I’d do if you had died with them all those years ago.”

Grief clenched your heart, thinking back to your late comrades. They’d met their gruesome fate on your first exposition beyond the walls.

Lowering your gaze, you gently placed your head onto his shoulder. He flinched slightly in surprise, but again didn’t pull away.

“I miss them, yknow? I know you do, too. But we keep the memory of Isabel and Farlan alive by fighting on. We keep the memories of our late mothers alive by continuing to fight. And though we only recently learned of this, the same applies to your uncle, Kenny. We fight. Cause we have a reason to.” You sighed after you finished, as he remained silent.

For quite awhile, he kept his gaze trained on the ground between his feet, not speaking a word as he downed the rest of his bottle.

“You,” he whispered, suddenly, after awhile of tense silence.

“Huh?”

“You asked what else. What else I fight for, Keep going on for….I want to see you live the life you’ve always wanted.”

His whispered reply brought heat to your cheeks, and you tried your best to hide that with your coat collar.

“You don’t have to worry about me. You’re stuck with me wether you like it or not.” You chuckled, playfully bumping his shoulder to diffuse the sudden awkward tension that surrounded the two of you after his comment.

“Yeah, you made that pretty damn clear when you fought to be my lieutenant.” Levi hummed, his eyes on the now empty drink in his hand. His eyes shifted slightly, and his weight leaned against your shoulder gently. He might not have been sober at this moment, but you didn’t worry. He could handle his liquor well, you knew. But even still, his tipsy words ignited a spark within your heart.

Blushing slightly once more, you averted your gaze from his face down to your hands.

“Yeah, well…You didn’t refuse my request, when I went to Erwin about it.”

“A decision I contemplate every day.”

“Would you have said no, if you knew what you do now, back then? All the dangers we’d face, and the things we had to do?” You asked almost hesitantly.

He paused, seemingly in thought. “No. No, I never would have said no to you. And…I never will.” He finally murmured, nearly in a whisper with slightly rosy cheeks. From the alcohol, or from emotions, you’d never truly know.

But you could read between the lines of his words, and had to bite back a grin. You knew he wouldn’t like to have his words repeated back to him, albeit re-worded, so you kept quiet with the knowledge that maybe….just maybe….You weren’t the only one who had caught feelings after all these years working side by side with your best friend.

[mystic-kitten-writer]

Update :)

It's funny how it's been such a long time since I've posted here, yet it still feels like home—hello, loves~!

It goes without saying that I owe an explanation as to why I disappeared from the face of the Earth for so long.

The last time I was able to truly connect with you was when my family and I caught Covid (great times, let me tell you) - after that, I totally disappeared, and as much as I would love to say it was for good and positive reasons, to be very blunt and straight to the point, it wasn't.

For those sensitive to the topics of illness and mental health, skip to the image of a giant cat for the good news!

Once again, as everyone knows, my whole family got COVID-19. While my Mom, Dad, and I weren't too hot, we were functioning. But my husband was really struggling. And when weeks passed, and his health started to get worse and worse, we realized that this was something more than just COVID-19.

My husband is hesitant to provide full details about what occurred, primarily because it's still a recent event and something he's currently grappling with. Still, my husband went from being a healthy, physically active person to being bedridden.

It was a really hard time for everyone because my husband is like the sun. All smiles and outgoing - to suddenly unable to eat or hold down food, needing help with showering and to be very blunt, depressed and suicidal because he lost everything due to this sickness.

Unfortunately, cancer runs in his family, and while he got tested multiple times and came back negative (yay!), he is still not out of the dark. He has done numerous surgeries in hopes of getting better (his most recent this January), and at this time, his last resort is getting a colostomy bag. He is currently undergoing some experimental treatments because doctors don't want to do the surgery based on his age.

It goes without saying why I haven't been posting and updating anything. There's been a lot going on, and I want to be on his side as much as possible.

But there is some good news!

I am mainly posting this message because he has improved greatly these past few weeks and is now in a much better physical and mental state. Seeing him get his feet back on the ground has given me the confidence to resume writing.

I have never stopped writing, but I have stopped publicly posting my writing mainly because I didn't have the time to sit down and properly edit.

My friends behind the scenes have been real stars. They have kept me going and encouraged me to keep writing.

I aim to post small works and drabbles until I feel confident enough to finish my biggest baby, Limerence.

To all those messages saying you missed Yue and Zuko, they're back - sorry, not sorry.

Thank you to everyone who has written messages to me. Trust me when I say I read them all, and I truly appreciate them. It meant a lot to get them and read them when I was not active because there were a few dark moments during my time away with everything going on, and honestly, it made me really happy. While I could never express my thanks in enough words, please know I greatly valued it.

I wanted to keep this short and sweet, but as we know, I am not known for short things (I try I swear askdjahjhksdj)😅

Thank you, and I wish everyone a fabulous day with tons of hugs and kisses.

I can't wait to write to you all soon~ ❤️

[jwonsoon]

enhypen as taylor swift songs ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

☾ a/n: i've been listening to a lot of taylor swift recently and maybe i'm crazy but every song somehow reminds me of enhypen. i've been thinking about them non stop so i made a part two of the post ☼ made since you guys liked that one. this might be kinda all over the place but i hope you enjoy !

JUNGWON

cardigan "When I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite"

comfort. he's my perpetual comfort. on days when i feel like i'm doing nothing right, on days when i feel hopeless, he's always there to spark that 1% within me that wants to keep trying. his continuous effort to communicate with engenes despite his busy schedule shows me that the care he holds for us is something so genuine. he reassures me and gives me reasons to love myself. he will see you crying, sit down next to you and patiently wait and listen. comforting you by holding your hand and wiping your tears. he's always there to make your life feel worth living again. jungwon will never leave you hanging or feeling like you aren't enough; you're always enough for him. a/n my jungwonie i love you

JAKE

safe & sound "You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now"

jake to me embodies emotional protection. he's the type to hold you gently while you cry into his arms, rubbing your back telling you it's going to be okay. no matter what happens he's right there by your side the whole time. the reason i picked this song is because i can imagine jake staying up all night with you when you're overwhelmingly anxious. even if his head keeps jerking back and forth because of how tired he is, he'll make sure you fall asleep first so that he can sleep knowing you're alright.

JAY

right where you left me "You left me no choice but to stay here forever"

angsty, i know. there's two reasons why i think this song perfectly captures him. one being, his loyalty. no matter what happens he'll stay by your side. there are time when it's hard to keep going and there's a back and forth struggle but jay will be consistent and check in on you. he will sit by you and wait for you to feel better, his patience has no end when it comes to those he cares about and it's his most charming quality among many others. i also just think he's so "first love" coded. you are never getting over jay! no matter how hard you try! - but don't worry because he's waiting for you to come back too...

NIKI

paper rings "I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings"

thats bestie!!! riki symbolizes happy young love for me. best friends to lovers type. his teasing flirty manner would always make you giggle. knowing how artsy he is he would definitely make you some goofy paper ring and "propose" to you, leaving you a flustered mess. i just think this song is so upbeat and pretty and incapsulates niki's playfulness perfectly. a/n i love him so much i'm going to rip my walls out.

HEESEUNG

gorgeous "You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face"

i mean... do i even have to explain? heeseung's charm is irresistible. no matter how much his constant teasing would annoy you, when you look up and see his face all of it melts away. he's so hallway crush coded, he would make you feel all giddy inside simply because of a passing head nod or just a slight smile. don't even get me started on his perfect laugh and smile! i can write a 4000 word essay on it. anywho, it's self explanatory. heeseung = gorgeous!

SUNOO

invisible string And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some, Invisible string, Tying you to me?

sunoo is destiny. i remember watching iland and from the very beginning my eyes were hooked onto him. and now, here i am, three years later writing this. his comforting smile and how he gives so much love to those around him helps me recognize how genuinely kind of a person he is. he's someone you want to keep close. no matter what happens sunoo will always find a way to provide you with solace and light on the darker days. he's pretty, the concept of soulmates is pretty, he is such a person destined to be loved and cared for deeply. no one ever hurt him please.

SUNGHOON

the way i loved you "So in love that you act insane and that's the way I loved you"

now, let me preface this by saying, i don't think sunghoon is toxic... this is just to feed my angst loving delusions. sunghoon is the one the got away. he's the one who you cared for so deeply but it was right person wrong time. despite how much he pushed to keep your relationship intact it was hard for him. he didn't want to fight you, he wanted to fight for you. sunghoon is the type to not let you leave until you figure it out with him. he'll sit with you even if you yell at him and just listen to you. he's cares about you so deeply that you can't help but constantly think about him even when he isn't there. - because he is also constantly thinking about you.

[writing-wh0re]

A/N: Hey Hey!Soo I'm kinda back?

I'm thinking of reopening my requests, starting my inbox fresh and letting new ideas come into play. Might restart my tag list as well, what do we think?

I've recently gotten into Anime and wow, it's an amazing world. I'm thinking of creating a post full of the characters I write for. Plus some of the original characters I write for.

I would love feedback on this Au idea! Would love to explore some Au ideas with other chatacters as well.

Any and all feedback is appriciated, likes are great but reblogs are golden.

| | | |

Champagne Kissed Lips

Adult Film Star AU Smut - Minors DNI.

Namani Kento x Fem!Reader x Satoru Gojo

Words: 3,301

Warnings: Smut 18+, Daddy Kink, Oral (Male and Female giving and receiving), Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Intercourse, Threesome, Slight Choking, Explicit Language, Alcohol and mention of smoking.

I hope you enjoy it!!

| | | |

University was a drag, class after class, stress after stress, bill after bill. It wasn’t like the movies and it wasn’t something I wouldn’t consider doing again.

I walk through the campus towards my dorm room, hoping my roommate Nova isn’t home as I know her energy will increase my oncoming headache.

“Your home! I have a quick question and want zero judgment from you.” Nova beams, bouncing over to me as I sling my bag onto the chair beside my desk.

“Shoot” I weakly smile, hoping to have silence shortly.

“So as we both know, life is expensive and let's be real, we’re both struggling.”

I giggle slightly, nodding along with Nova, slightly intrigued by where this conversation is going.

“Anyway, I saw Tilly, you know Tilly right? The bright red hair, covered in tattoos with the tongue piercing?”

“Didn’t know she had a tongue piercing but yes I know Tilly, go on.”

“Well, she came into class with a new bag and phone and I’m talking about designer bags.”

I nod along with Nova, slipping off my shoes and looking through my wardrobe for my lounge wear.

“Anyway, I asked how she got these because only last week was she complaining about having to work three jobs to afford to live and oh my god you’re going to flip.”

“Nov, just tell me.”

“Porn, Tilly is getting paid to cum.”

I laugh covering my mouth as I lock eyes with Nova, seeing her seriousness.

“Wait really? Shit, good for her I guess.”

Nova nods as I sit across from her on my bed.

“Which brings me to my no judgment question.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes, we should look into it!”

“Nova, I can’t do porn.”

“Yes you can! You’re so hot, literally all the frat guys want you, you would literally be rolling in it.”

“But you know I don’t want frat guys. I wan-”

“I know, I know, you want a man that knows what he’s doing, someone with experience.” Nova mimics. “There’s a kink for that you know, it’s called a daddy kink.”

I roll my eyes at Nova, laying back on my bed and sighing.

“C’mon, it's good money.”

“Nova, I’m not recording myself for other people’s pleasure.”

“Don’t you need a car? Wouldn’t you like to be debt free? You could move to New York and own a penthouse!”

“Nova, enough.”

“Just know it's an option, I’m going to talk to Tilly about it.”

I nod in response as Nova grabs her stuff and leaves the dorm.

| | | |

It had been roughly four months since Nova mentioned the porn industry and never in my life did I consider that I would walk into this world from beyond my phone screen.

Within four months I had worked with numerous adult film stars, many of them satisfying, others only just worth the paycheck.

“Ready?” Nova smiles, her skin tight velvet dress hugging her curves perfectly.

I quickly swipe the red lipstick across my lips, pouting before looking myself up and down. A black see through lace dress, a leg slit high up to my panty line, lace barely covering my boobs, not leaving much to the imagination. Not that the imagination is needed when half if not all of these people at the party have seen me naked.

“Ready.” I smile. “You know, I hate these parties, why do we need monthly parties?” Nova groans, quickly lighting a cigarette as we leave my penthouse, walking through the crisp air of New York.

“Networking, how do you think I became so big so quickly? You’ve gotta promote yourself to the big wigs, make them want you.”

Nova shakes her head, taking a long drag from her cigarette as we round the corner to the hotel, joining the line of other actors.

“I dont want to whore myself out.”

I smirk, looking at Nova as we both laugh.

We’re quickly ushered into the glamorous hotel following behind people into the marvelous ballroom. Floor to ceiling windows of the New York skyline, dimly lit corners with velvet booths. Champagne towers in various spaces, topless wait staff and music blasting through the air. The thump of bass slightly vibrates the windows and glasses.

“Ooo” Nova’s face lights up as the waiter passes us, grabbing two glasses of champagne.

“Cheers to making it out of struggleville.” Nova states, gently tapping her glass against mine.

I quickly tip the lightly bubbling liquid into my mouth, finishing the drink quickly, Nova following suit. Both of us replaced our empty glasses with a refill.

“Holy fuck.” Nova chokes on her drink as I follow her eye line, my mouth becoming dry.

Nanami Kento and Satoru Gojo walk through the crowd, talking with three men both looking fucking mouthwatering.

“They never come to these things, I have never seen these two in person, fuck they’re tall, god fucking damnit, who do I sweet talk to get with them.” Nova rambles beside me as my eyes trail over the pair.

Both men are dressed in full black suits, Nanami has yellow tinted glasses resting on the bridge of his nose and Gojo with black shades tucked into his suit pocket. Both taller in person than expected. Nanami pushes his glasses higher on his nose, my eyes fixated on his hands, god his hands.

“Y/n?”

“Sorry, uh, I was daydreaming.” Blush slightly creeps up my neck as Nova chuckles.

“I haven’t seen you blush in a while.” “Haven’t been nervous in a while.”

Nova chuckles as she goes wide eyed slightly. Quickly composing herself.

“They’re coming over.”

I look over my shoulder and see the duo walking towards us as I quickly finish my drink, hoping the liquid courage rushes through me.

“Ladies.” Gojo smiles

“Gojo, Nanami.” I smile, feeling Nova nudge my shoulder handing me a fresh glass of champagne. I thank her with my eyes, feeling my skin cover with goosebumps under the eyes of the two men, both of them drinking in my appearance, sharing a look as Nanami pushes his glasses up again.

“I didn’t expect to see you both.” Nova breaks the moments of silence between all of us as Gojo chuckles, grabbing a glass of wine from the various waiters walking around.

“Didn’t think our absence was that noticeable.” Nanami mutters as Nova giggles.

Before Nova can say anything Geto walks up behind her.

“Gentlemen.” Geto nods at them, looking at me “Y/n.” He winks, whispering into Nova’s ear as she quickly nods and gets whisked away.

‘Fuck.’

It feels like the room gets smaller and time slows as the duo in front of me share a look, both of them with a slight smirk on their lips.

“So, what changed your mind in attending?”

“When someone knocks you out of first place, you’ve got to scout the competition.” Gojo smiles, both him and Nanami stepping slightly closer to me, towering over me.

“Oh, can’t handle losing?” I smirk, Gojo licks his lips and Nanami chuckles.

“We don’t like to lose darling.” Nanami whispers, his warm breath fanning my neck, a tingle running down my spine.

“We’d like to offer you something honey.” Gojo whispers, his hand holding my hip. “A night with us, no crew, just us three.”

“Don’t break our hearts baby.” Nanami whispers, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. Gojo’s hand caresses my hip, his warmth seeping through the sheer lace of my dress.

I open my mouth, zero words forming as I nod. Gojo tuts shaking his head.

“We need to hear you agree.”

“Tell us what you think darling.”

Both men seek my approval as I smirk.

“Yes.” I whisper, my eyes flicking between the two of them as both men smirk.

“Gojo.” Nanami states as the white haired man nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd, Nanami with his hand on the small of my back helping to guide me.

We make it to the elevator, the three of us standing in silence, a light chatter within the lobby and the distant thump of the bass from the party filling the air.

The elevator tings as the doors open, the three of us piling as the doors slowly close. The second the doors are closed both men push me against the glass window.

“Fuck.” I whisper, Gojo’s lips on my neck as Nanami kisses along my jaw.

Nanami grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger. His eyes lingering on my lips.

“Baby, you won’t be the same after us.”

“I’m counting on it.” I whisper as Nanami smiles, his tongue dragging along his bottom lip before our lips crash against each other. I moan into the kiss, Gojo sucking on my neck, his hand grabbing a handful of my ass.

Nanami pulls away from me as Gojo cups my cheek, bringing our lips together. His tongue fighting against mine, his kiss rougher than Nanami’s.

The elevator dings, both men pulling away from me as my chest rises and falls quickly. My brain is trying to fathom what’s about to happen.

Halfway down the hall, Nanami unzips my dress, his fingers lightly tracing my back as wetness continues to pool between my thighs, my pussy aching.

Gojo unlocks the door as Nanami slips my dress down my arms. The door clicking shut as my dress pools at my heels.

Both men stand and look at me, the only light coming from the city below. My skin feels hot, blush creeping up my neck as their eyes foam up and down my body. My thin G-string barely covered me from their gaze.

“God.” Nanami groans, loosening his tie as Gojo undoes his belt.

I bend down to undo my heels causing Gojo to stop me.

“We want them left on baby girl.”

“We’re sure you paid enough for them.” Nanami states, his jacket being folded neatly and draped over the couch, his body beside me as he trails his fingers up my side. My breath hitches as Gojo walks out of the room.

Before I can question his absence, he walks back into the room, a camera in his hand. Butterflies erupt inside of me as Gojo flicks on a soft warm light, getting the camera at the right angle of the couch right by the city scape.

“We don’t want a crew to be watching us, everyone hearing the sounds you make for us.”

“We want you to forget the camera exists, the bright lights and the sound crew.”

“We want you on our platform, our girl.”

Their words are like honey, smooth and sweet. The butterflies and goosebumps swarming all over me.

“Let me be yours.”

“Music to our ears princess.” Gojo smirks, quickly ridding himself of his clothes, Nanami following suit.

Gojo wraps his hand around my neck, pulling me closer to him as our lips crash together. His hands roam my body, his finger hooks into my G-string and flicks it against my skin. I moan into his mouth, a gasp falls from my lips as Nanami’s hand cups my pussy. A low groan filling the air.

“You’re soaked, fuck Gojo she’s dripping.”

My moans fill the air as Gojo pulls away from me, his piercing blue eyes focusing on Nanami’s hand, watching his fingers rub my swollen clit through my panties.

“Good girl.” Gojo praises, kissing the side of my head. I run my hand down Gojo’s toned chest, softly digging my nails into his skin, causing a low sigh to fall from his lips. I trace his clothed cock, watching him bite his lip before I slip my hand into his boxer briefs. “Fuck Nanami.” I gasp, his fingers slipping past my panties and pinching my clit.

“Lay down baby, let us take care of you.”

I lay on the soft couch, my head on the arm rest as Gojo comes to stand above me, Nanami moves my legs, hooking one over the back of the couch, spreading my pussy for his eyes.

“Perfect, more perfect than the camera could ever capture.”

I blush at Nanami’s words, looking up at Gojo, his cock springing free.

My lips part, shocked by his size.

“You can take it darling.” I open my mouth at Gojo’s words, a smirk on his lips as my tongue traces the tip of his cock.

“Fuck daddy” I moan, looking down at Nanami, his tongue slowly dragging up and down my slit, sucking my clit between licks. Nanami moans against my pussy.

“Keep calling me that.” He whispers before continuing to trace my clit with his tongue.

“Darling.” Gojo whispers, his hand holding under my chin, tilting my head back. “I know Kento is good, but daddy needs attention.”

I nod, using my hand to guide Gojo’s cock into my mouth, pumping whatever I can’t fit. Circling my tongue around his dick, hollowing out my cheeks, his cock falling past my lips with a ‘pop’.

“You’re good at that darling, don’t stop.”

I moan around Gojo’s cock his hand caressing my cheek, soft moans filling the air.

My free hand grips Nanami’s hair, tugging at the strands causing a groan to vibrate against me.

“We should have fucked you sooner.” Nanami whispers, blowing against my warm pussy, my legs shaking with a tingle. My back arches, his fingers slipping inside of me, slowly pumping in and out, curling up inside of me.

“Y/n, god baby you’re tight.”

I smirk at Nanami’s words, popping Gojo’s cock past my lips and pumping him faster.

“All yours, only for you.”

Nanami and Gojo chuckle.

“You’re eager to please us honey.”

I blush at Gojo’s words, watching as he pulls away from me, him and Nanami swapping places.

Nanami leans over me, his lips connecting with mine as I taste myself on his tongue. Both of us moaning into the kiss, his fingers dancing across my collar bone, his hands cupping my boobs.

“God Yes!” I scream, Gojo slipping inside of me, his cock stretching my pussy as Nanami rolls my nipples between his thumb and index finger.

“Fuck honey, no wonder your number one.”

I giggle at Gojo’s words, swiping my tongue around Nanami’s cock, his hand moving from my breast to my throat, softly applying pressure as he thrusts in and out of my throat. My eyes roll backwards, the sounds of our moans filling the air, the scent of sex flowing through the room.

“Good girl, you’re taking us so well.”

“Uh huh” I moan in agreement, Gojo’s thumb brushes against my clit, rubbing in fast circles.

“C’mon baby, daddy wants you to cover his cock.”

“Go on darling, cum for Gojo.”

I drag my nails up Nanami’s chest, his cock thrusting in and out of my mouth, my tongue swirling around him. Gojo rubs my clit faster, his thrusts dragging out of me slowly and thrusting into me harshly.

I dig my nails into Nanami’s abs, his groan filling the air as I hollow out my cheeks around his cock. My back arching and legs slightly shake.

“Just like that baby, that’s a good girl, cum for me.”

Nanami slips past my lips, my scream of pleasure filling the air.

“Fuckkkk.”

My body jolts, my pussy tightening around Gojo causing him to hiss.

“Just like that baby.” Gojo gently rubs my clit, his thrusts slowing.

“You’re such a good girl for us princess.” Nanami whispers.

I hum in response, blissed out as I feel the couch dip, Gojo and Nanami switching places.

Nanami grabs me by my hips, pulling me up to straddle his waist, his lips connecting with mine. Our tongues swirl against each other, his hands grabbing my ass, spanking each cheek.

I feel Gojo’s hand caress my cheek, my lips pulling away from Nanami’s. I smile up at Gojo, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip dragging it down as my mouth falls open slightly. I take Gojo’s thumb into my mouth, sucking and swirling my tongue as Nanami runs his cock up and down my slit.

My head tilts back, a moan falling from my lips as I gasp at Nanami’s size, his cock stretching my walls, slightly thicker than Gojo.

“God Nanami.”

“Mm, fuck you’re so wet and tight.” Nanami whispers, his teeth pulling on my ear lobe as Gojo holds my chin, his eyes locking with mine as his friend thrusts in and out of me, his hands holding my ass guiding my hips back and forth.

“You take cock so well baby.”

I smirk at Gojo’s words, leaning to the side of Nanami and tracing my tongue along Gojo’s cock.

Gojo’s fingers run through my hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail. Our eyes lock together as I use the rhythm from Nanami to bop my mouth up and down on Gojo.

Nanami wraps his hand around my throat, applying slight pressure causing my eyes to water and a gag to fall around Gojo’s cock.

“Huh, are you cryin’?” Gojo taunts a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Struggling to take both of us?” Nanami grunts.

I moan in protest, feeling completely full and blissed out.

“By the way her pussy is gripping me, I think she likes it.”

“Oh she fucking loves it.” Gojo states, thrusting his cock deeper down my throat as tears prick my eyes.

I pull off Gojo, my chest rising and falling as my nails dig into Nanami’s shoulders.

“God, I’m close.”

Nanami moan’s against my ear, his hand slipping between us as he rubs my clit in fast circles.

My moans fill the air, my hand pumping Gojo’s cock fast, my thumb brushing over the tip of his cock with every second stroke. Gojo runs a hand through his hair, tilting his head back, his loud moans complimenting mine.

“Just like that baby.”

“You feel so good.” Nanami moans, his head resting on the back of the couch, his fingers digging into my hips, his thrusts speeding up.

“I’m cumming!” I moan, my pussy clenching around Nanami, my hand speeding up on Gojo’s cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t stop.”

Gojo’s fingers slip into my hair, his hand pulls my head back causing my mouth to fall open as I stick my tongue out.

“Such a good girl.” Gojo smiles, pumping his cock against my tongue, hot bursts of cum covering my taste buds.

My eyes roll back, feeling Nanami’s cum shoot inside of me, coating my walls as I swallow Gojo’s release.

Gojo leans against the couch, resting on his hands, all of us taking a moment.

Savoring our time together.

I slowly lift myself off Nanami’s cock, both of us wincing at the loss of contact. I sit beside Nanami on the couch, Gojo leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of my head before walking over to the camera and stopping the video.

“I hope you know we’re making this a monthly thing.”

“Oh really?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at Gojo’s comment.

Nanami’s hand falls to my thigh, running his finger tips up and down, a soft smile on his lips.

“But we won’t film everytime.”

“Mm, I’d love that.”

“Wait.” I quickly stand up, my legs shaky as I search through our clothing, finding my phone and sitting on the couch with Nanami. Gojo smiles, walking over to the two of us standing behind the couch. I aim the camera at the three of us, Gojo’s lips on my neck, Nanami’s hand around my throat as his lips whisper against my ear.

“Show off.”

I smirk, taking a quick picture and showing the two of them. I quickly uploaded the photo to my instagram and twitter with the caption.

‘Champagne never tasted so good.’

[ihavethedreamies]

Sitting Out the Storm | Jisung

Park Jisung - NCT Dream

Word Count: ~6.2k

Pairing: Jisung x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Cuddling, Eventual Kisses, Pining, Flirting

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Blizzard/Snowstorm

Author's Note: I squealed so much writing this because right when I realized that sweet little Jisung had gotten super hot (I was in denial for a while), and this came out. He's younger than me by a few years and since I have been into Kpop for such a long time, it was weird that he was younger than me. My friend and I struggled with Dream at first because they were our age or younger and we weren't used to it. I'm over it now.

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other two sites. Happy reading!

As you stepped out of the convenience store, you felt a drop of cold on your cheek. Looking up at the streetlight, you saw the small flakes drifting down from the sky. Reaching out a gloved hand, you watched a bigger one hit the pink fleece and melt into it, making you smile. You loved snow, it was so pretty. Though, when it had been there for months and hadn't yet melted and was mixed in with a good deal of dirt, then it was time to go. However, it was the beginning of November and had not yet snowed for the season. Getting snapped out of your reverie by your phone alarm going off, you pulled it out of your pocket and headed down the sidewalk. You had five minutes to get back to campus before your phone would blow up with texts and missed calls. The group chat already started to ding, and you rolled your eyes, shutting the sound off before someone thought there was an emergency alert going off.

"I am bringing you guys food." You grumbled, picking up the pace and crossing the street to get back on campus. You started a trot and saw a group huddled together in the middle of the commons near the recently-turned off fountain.

"FOOD." You heard a shout and then the stampede stormed over to you, the four bags wrenched from your hands.

"You're welcome." You grumbled and waited for them to sort stuff out so you could get your own snacks.

"Hey, that's mine."

"You already got yours, there was two."

"This is the wrong flavor."

"It is?"

"I wanted strawberry."

"This brand doesn't have strawberry."

"Why is this cold?"

"Because it's ice cream…"

"Thank you." You are pulled out of the argument of nonsense by a soft voice next to you. You turned to see the youngest of the group giving you a small smile, his snacks gathered in his large hands.

"Sure, Ji. Did I get yours right?"

"I think you got everyone's right, but Chenle stole Renjun's and Hyuck's." He whispered and you snickered.

"Noona!" A very loud voice shouted from a short distance.

"Yes?"

"I have yours!" Chenle held it up in the air as if to throw it and you, "don’t!"

"Aw." He sighed and walked it over to you and you snatched the bag of candy from him. You gave him a look.

"What?" When he didn't move, you shoved your hand in his pocket, to which he screamed, and grabbed your bottle of water.

"I've been violated!"

"You're so loud!"

"He's always loud!"

"Now you're loud."

"Hey! We're in public!" You scolded as a group of girls walked past whispering to each other. Despite the dark, it was only a little past 6, so people were still leaving classes. The seven boys quieted down and shuffled nervously under your scolding gaze.

"Now let’s go, its cold out and we're already late." You looked at your phone. It was only a minute past, but they had scheduled the game room for 6:30 and could only stay for a couple hours. Last time they didn't reserve it, the football boys had taken over and there was only so much seven pretty Asian boys could do against a group of sweaty muscle heads. You did not want to ever go through that absurdity again. When the game room was reserved, it really just meant that the group had exclusive access to the TVs and consoles, but the rest of the room was still open. The set up allowed two groups of four to play each other on separate consoles, but in the same room. You were not normally one for multi-player video games, but playing with them was honestly fun. The two teams would work together to take the other people on the server out and then go up against each other. You could always hear the groans of the others through their headsets when you guys logged on. Because of where you played, there was no live-speech engagement and eight people against everyone versus four is a little disadvantageous.

"(Y/N), come here," Jaemin waited for you and linked your arms. He was trying to suck up your warmth and it made it somewhat difficult to walk.

"We have like two minutes; you can deal with being cold."

"You are now my personal heater."

"No."

"Yes." Little did you know, trailing in the back were the two youngest.

"You're frowning." Chenle whispered, something he hardly ever did.

"No." Jisung cleared his throat, burying his hands deeper in his pockets, they were almost too big to fit.

"Yes."

"I'm cold too." Donghyuck ran backwards from where he was by Mark and linked his other arm with yours.

"How am I supposed to walk now?" You were being jostled between the two, the height difference making your gait uneven and now you were too warm. Chenle heard Jisung grumble and burst into his dolphin-laugh. Mark, Jeno and Renjun leading the pack were talking about something that happened in their class that day, Hyuck and Jaemin were arguing about something, Chenle was teasing Jisung, and you were beginning to regret your life choices.

"Okay, I really can't keep walking like this," You scolded and the two on your sides ignored you.

"Guys-"

"Let her walk on her own!" Jisung's surprisingly deep voice rose, and everyone halted in their tracks to look at him. The two sheepishly let you go, shocked by the maknae's outburst. You sighed in relief and ran ahead, between Mark and Jeno, and to the door of the activity center.

"Come on, you heathens!" You called for them, holding the door open as they shuffled inside, still shocked by Jisung's shout. Chenle was giggling as he walked past and Jisung gave you a small smile.

"Thank you." You beamed and his heart thumped, and you followed him inside. Going to the hall leading from the side entrance, you all arrived at the game room. Luckily that night was pretty calm and there were some seniors playing pool and a few girls playing at the old Dance Dance Revolution machine in the back. You went over to the snack bar to the guy running the sigh up sheet and he grinned.

"Good night for you guys, not many people here." He slid the clipboard to you, and you signed your name again next to where you had reserved the TVs. The boys began to settle in, throwing their coats in a pile on the floor, and spread their snacks out on the coffee table. You moved to your usual spot and found that it literally was taken. The chair was gone.

"Hey, where'd the red armchair go?"

"Some kid spilled soda on it, it dried sticky, someone sat on it and when they stood up, tore a big hole in the upholstery." The supervisor told you and you scowled down at the empty spot.

"Where will I sit?" You whispered to yourself.

"Noona, sit with me!" Donghyuck called to you from the other armchair.

"There's no room!" Renjun pointed out.

"We three barely fit on these couches." Mark added and you realized you would have to sit on the hardwood floor.

"She can sit on my lap." Jaemin suggested, you couldn't even see his face but knew what it looked like based on his tone of voice.

"Renjun can sit on her lap." Jeno teased and the other boy glared at him.

"I'll sit on the floor, Noona." Jisung stood up from where he normally sat next to Chenle. You didn't catch the look the second-youngest gave the other, but Jisung glared in response.

"Thanks Ji." You smiled and he sat down in front of Jaemin on the other side of Chenle. You sat down next to the loudest one and told him, "Don't shout in my ear, please." He whined in protest and Jeno handed out the controllers.

"Hurry up and sign in!" Donghyuck called to Mark who was furiously moving the joystick to get their credentials plugged in. Right as he hit enter, the game didn't not start to load in, because the power went out.

"What!" Someone shouted, the girls in the back corner screamed in anger, one of them was about to beat a high score. After a few seconds, the emergency lights kicked in and cast a dull glow around the room. A ding came out of the speakers and a tired voice spoke up.

"Attention all students. Due to the incoming blizzard, it seems the power grid has malfunctioned and the power to the south campus has been shut off. Emergency generators have kicked in but will only last a short while. All dorms on the north campus will have all power diverted to them and will be the only buildings with safe levels of heating from the cold. Accommodations will be made for on-campus students that have nowhere off-campus to stay the night. If you have friends in the Stanley or Cramer Halls, Harvey Apartments, or Jameson Suites, please make your own accommodations if possible. For this case, girls will be allowed in the boy's side of Stanley hall, but not the other way around. Please see the RA on duty at the dorm desks if you need assistance. Thank you." The speaker cut off and it seemed that not just the whole room, but the whole building - no - the whole campus groaned. You did not live on campus, so you were about to call your roommate to tell her the situation. As you pulled out your phone, it rang, your roommate herself on the other end.

"Hey, the power went out-"

"Yeah, it did here to."

"What?"

"Yeah, it seems the whole south side of town is out. I'm going to my boyfriend’s; will you be able to find somewhere?"

"Oh, uh," You glanced at the boys who were all illuminated by their phone screens, but they were looking at you.

"I'll figure it out." You tell her and you exchange a little more information and then hang up.

"Okay, I need to stay with someone." You turned to them fully and they looked between each other and began to type furiously on their phones. Considering nothing came in to your phone, they were in the group chat without you that they denied existed. You waited a second till they looked back at you, to each other, then more typing.

"Well?" You had waited long enough.

"Jaemin and Jeno are out because Jaemin doesn't understand personal space." Renjun jabbed his thumb at the other one.

"Hey!"

"I would rather not have you and her in my bed in the morning, thank you." Jeno looked at his roommate, a non-verbal argument flashing over their faces.

"Mark has to stay with Hyuck, but no one trusts Donghyuck anyway." Renjun continued.

"Hey! What'd I do?"

"You stole her-"

"Right! Okay! Who’s next?" Hyuck diverted the conversation, and you narrowed your eyes in suspicion at him.

"I live with my mom and that's a can of worms I don't want to open." Chenle motioned with his hand back and forth.

"Which would leave Jisung and Renjun." They all looked at you again and you refused to meet Renjun's gaze. Nothing had actually happened between you two, not really, it was just a kiss or three but that was enough for you two to get scared about it ruining your friendship and so you just didn't talk about it. Which left…

"Jisung? You okay with that?" You asked him. He had a single room, and while his bed was lofted, he did have a futon underneath it. It would work out pretty well, even if the futon was pretty uncomfortable as a bed. He didn't answer for a second, just gaping at you and everyone watched him till he startled to answer.

"Oh, yeah, of course." Jisung stood up and started to gather his things and everyone gave each other a look you couldn't read and then followed to do the same. You watched them with confusion and took your coat from Jeno when he handed it to you. They gathered their snacks and things and you all headed out of the game room, trailing after the rest of the students as the last people to leave. The snow had not only picked up but was getting significantly heavier as time passed. You all started to head to the north side of campus, where Chenle diverted off to head home. At a crossroad in the path, Jaemin and Jeno went off to their suite and the five of you headed toward Stanley. You had huddled together, you were stuck in the middle, acting as some sort of space heater. You were somewhat grateful though because it protected you from the snow some. There was a flood of students going into the dorm building and you shuffled in after them, and kicked the snow off your shoes and brushed it from your coats. People were milling about, some RAs going around getting information. Renjun said bye to the rest of you, giving you a look and you shook your head minutely and he headed off. An RA finally came over and he got Mark's information for him to stay with Donghyuck and the elder dragged Hyuck down the hall before he could try and persuade you to stay with him as well. You stood next to Jisung, able to feel his nerves rolling off of him in waves.

"Are you sure you're okay with me staying with you?" You asked.

"Yes! It's fine…Are you okay staying with me?" He wouldn't meet your eye.

"Yes, Jisung. Thank you." You bumped his arm with your shoulder, the height difference more poignant with you standing right next to him.

"What's your room?" The RA came over.

"702."

"Can I see your IDs?" He asked, clearly frazzled with all of this craziness. Jisung showed his and you took yours out of your wallet and handed it to him.

"You live off campus?" He asked.

"Yes, but it’s on the south side of town, so the powers out there too."

"Okay, are you two dating-"

"No!" You both clarified and the guy shook his head.

"Right, just friends?"

"Yes." You took your sock hat off, brushing some strands out of your face.

"Okay. We're going to have to turn the heat down to preserve energy, so I would recommend not leaving the dorm room too much to keep the hot air in." The RA smiled, handing your ID back and the younger boy led you out of the lobby and to the stairwell. The elevators were clogged with people and while you weren't pleased about climbing up to the seventh floor, it would be faster. When you reached the second-to-top floor, he led you down the hall to his room. You had only been there one other time, since it was so far up, you most often hung out in Renjun's room or somewhere else entirely. It was cleaner than you thought it would be, and thankfully he had a TV and microwave in there. It was colder than normal, but much better than outside. One thing nice about this dorm building, there was at least a toilet between each room, so you didn't have to use anything communal, which was probably why they allowed girls on the boy's side.

"The guy that lived on the other side moved out, so the other room is vacant, you don't have to worry about the bathroom." Jisung told you and you nodded.

"Do you have a sweatshirt I can change into? I have a pair of leggings in my bag to change out of my jeans but no other shirt.

"Yes!" He rushed over to his dresser. His clothes were in the drawers, but not folded or organized by any means. You smiled at the little arrangement he had of pictures above his desk. Most of them polaroids taken with Jaemin's camera. There was one of you, him, and Chenle right in the middle of the display and that made you happy. He really was so stinking cute sometimes.

"Here, I think this is the smallest one I have." He handed you a simple grey hoodie with the school's name on it and you thanked him, going into the bathroom to change. Despite the fact that the sweatshirt was his smallest, you were still swimming in it. He always wore stuff that was oversized anyway. You looked at yourself in the mirror, the sleeves hanging down past your hands and the bottom hem hitting right above your knees.

"Giant child…" You shook your head, moving to roll the sleeves a bit to make them less dangly. You caught a whiff of something good on the fabric and buried your nose in it and sighed. He may not have smelled as good as Renjun, but it was still comforting. It was more likely his laundry detergent than cologne of any kind, but it smelled like Jisung. As you left the bathroom, you caught him in the middle of him changing into a sweatshirt himself. He had on a tank top underneath his shirt, but you still got a good look at how broad his shoulders were and, despite having a dancer's body, there was still muscle there to appreciate. You didn't make a sound till he had the sweatshirt on, not wanting to startle him then you let the door shut. He did jump a bit, but not too bad and he froze. Seeing you in his sweatshirt did things to him and you looked so cute with it pooling over you. You were so small compared to him, heck, you were small compared to Renjun, let alone him.

"I-is that comfortable?" He made sure and you nodded.

"Yes, thank you very much. I can log into my Netflix so we can watch something if you want? You don’t have it right?"

"Oh, no." He shook his head and handed you the remote. He shut the bright ceiling light off and the room took on a soft warm glow thanks to the two lamps he had on and the string of lights around the window. He stepped up a bit on the ladder of his lofted bed and grabbed the blankets he had up there, and he grabbed another one he had in the closet. He handed you one and sat next to you on the futon. It was lower to the ground than a normal one, he mentioned something about that being why it was on sale. It was comfy enough, but laid out to sleep on, the bar hit right in the middle of your back, so he suggested just sleeping on it like a couch.

"What do you want to watch?" You asked, having plugged in your login info, and was looking at the suggestions. You thought a movie would be good, but you had already watched everything on your list.

"Is The Hobbit still on here?" He asked.

"Yeah! You like the third one, right?" You clarified. The eight of you had a movie marathon watching through all three of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings a few months back and he had mentioned his favorite.

"That okay?"

"Yeah. I'll probably cry at the ending, just warning you." You told him. You started the movie and both of you dug out your snacks and things and settled in. It was chillier than either of your ideals, so you suggested sharing the blankets and layering them. He stuttered out an agreement and you scooted in closer. You had never felt smaller. He was not the biggest guy you had met, but he was the biggest of the friend group and you were quite small. He was nice and warm, and he felt the same about you. Getting so entrenched in the movie and snacks, neither of you noticed the weather growing even more severe outside the window. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled both of you and you hit pause while he untangled from the blankets, opening the door.

"Hey, guys, I know this sucks…Uh, the storm is getting worse and we're having to divert even more power elsewhere. Since there are only solo rooms on this floor and the eighth, and not all rooms are full, we are moving everyone to the ballroom in the Central Building. Also, she's the only extra person on these two floors anyway…" The RA trailed off and Jisung blinked at the guy as you groaned.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Sorry. We are getting some extra mattresses out of storage and we're going to put on some movies, but the Central Building is on its own power reserve since it’s the official emergency shelter. You won't have to go outside; you can just go to the skyway on the third floor and get over there." He shrugged and you two sighed and got your stuff together. He threw some other things in his backpack, and you put your shoes back on. He grabbed the blankets you had gathered, and you both begrudgingly take the elevator down and follow the ten others that are heading over. As you are walking across the skyway, you are both grateful you put on your coats too because there was no heat on the covered bridge. You cringed as a great blast of wind hit the window, making the plexiglass wobble a bit. Not liking the skyway to begin with, this whole thing was not helping. Everyone halted when a loud snap was heard, a spark, and then the light fixtures above all shattered as the circuit overloaded. You yelped, moving to cover your head, but instead, two arms wrapped around you and Jisung shielded you from the glass raining down. Everyone just stood in the dark for a second, the light coming from the other end of the walkway being the only light. Not even the streetlights were on.

"Are you okay?" He whispered to you, his deep voice right near your ear.

"Y-yeah, let's go." You backed away slightly, not wanting to flinch away from him and hurt his feelings. It was incredibly sweet that he did that, and it was clearly instinctual. Your heart fluttered and he turned his phone flashlight on, immediately grabbing your hand and leading you the rest of the way, around the piles of broken glass. Getting to the other building, someone that was part of the staff led the group to the designated ballroom where they had a bunch of the school-provided mattresses spread out. They had no sheets on them, but that was okay for that night.

"Are you Jisung Park?" A woman called to him, and you both turned to her.

"Yeah?"

"Well, it seems we only got mattresses for each tenant, since she was the only extra, we do not have one for her…" She trailed off, and before you could answer, "That's okay, I'll let her have it." Jisung's immediate response once again caused your heart to flutter. He was always sweet, but this was focused solely on you, once again, and you weren't sure what to make of it. The woman blinked a bit in surprise to and then gave you a coy look.

"Perfect! We are having popcorn made and we're going to be putting on the Avengers movies. Let one of us know if you need anything!" She smiled and you went over and picked one of the mattresses. He wouldn't let you even touch the mattress, so you carried the blankets as he hauled it over to the corner near a window. He wanted to keep an eye on the weather outside, which was getting even worse. You laid out one of the blankets on the mattress which had the same upholstery as a mat used in gym class to make sure you didn't get hurt. You had a thick foam pad on your bed when you lived on campus and now you had a legit mattress that was covered in the highest-thread count sheets you could find. The way he set the bed up, you could rest your back on the wall and face where they were going to project the movie. There were way more than ten other people in there, telling you they had to have this set up for other residents. There were probably like 40 kids in there. No wonder they didn't have an extra mattress for you. As the first Captain America movie started, you two sat close like in his dorm, under the two blankets, but didn’t say anything. It was one thing to sit like that with just you two, but it was different with other people. However, neither of you could bring yourselves to not sit so close. It was warmer there too, but you two found great comfort in the proximity. When they announced the popcorn was ready, you couldn't even get ready to get up before he was doing so and getting it for you. Watching him go up, you caught yourself staring at his back, remembering seeing him in the tank top, and wondering what he looked like from the front. He was pretty shy, and it was rare to see him showing so much skin. You had noticed throughout knowing him that he really had matured. Not just emotionally, but physically. All of the guys had come to America for college when they were scouted to be dancers on the Dance Team. Despite the age gap, they all started off as Freshmen and so you had known them for almost two years. It was crazy how much he changed in that short amount of time; he really did the most out of all of them. Seeing sweet little Jisung all grown up should have made you feel proud, or nostalgic for when he was the cute maknae. But he had really grown up well and turned out to be way more handsome than you even thought he would be. Shaking your head to clear the thoughts, he came and sat back down with you. You took the two bags of popcorn, the ones they used at all the sporting events, and he covered back up with the blankets.

"Thank you." You told him, handing him his own bag. You both at in mostly silence, watching the movie you had both seen many times before. He peeled the canvas curtain away from the window next to him to look outside. He couldn't see much because of the level of snow and wind there was whipping around.

"Its nasty out." You commented looking out the window with him. He hummed in agreement and then both sat back down before turning back to the movie. You could feel him looking at you instead though, and the piercing stare eventually drove you to look at him as well.

"Ah!" He got caught, looking away quickly.

"Jisung?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for being so sweet." You were going to add 'tonight', but the more you thought about it, the more you realized he was always like that. Even earlier that night, he made sure to bring you your snacks and even told off the older two for not letting you go. The week before, you were reluctant to go up and get more food at the cafeteria, since what you wanted was being served by a guy that gave you the creeps. He didn't even say anything, just got up and then came back with a plate full. When he would see that the snack shop was almost sold out of your favorite, he would buy the last one to make sure you would get it. He always held the door open for you and waited after his class for you to go eat lunch. So much more had happened, but the more you thought about it, the more your heart raced.

"Oh, well, uh-" You cut him off by scooching even closer and linking your arm with his, resting your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense when you did this, but he relaxed quicker than you thought he would. What he did next made your heart stop momentarily. Jisung shifted and rested his cheek against the top of your head. That's not what got you though, it’s what he did after. He placed a small kiss on the crown of your head. He probably felt you tense, and you didn't want him to worry that you disliked it. So, you nuzzled into him more, and moved your hand to touch his. He turned his palm up to allow you better access and you linked your hands, your fingers slotting between his. Your hands were small to begin with, and his were much larger than even what his should be. His large hand engulfed yours and you honestly loved it. You were not at all expecting to be feeling this way about sweet little Jisung. Though, there was always something there, so these emotions hit you like a tank. You probably always had a crush on him, but you thought it was more like he's a cute little brother. You began to realize things about yourself that proved this. Whenever you had something to tell the guys, you started with him. Wanted to show them something you made? Jisung first. You always chose to sit next to him if possible, and whenever you needed someone to talk to, you went to him. When he, Jaemin, and Mark got sick, you took care of him the whole time. You did some with Mark, but Jaemin was so obnoxious and clingy, and you did not want to catch it yourself.

"Noona?"

"Yeah?" He didn't reply right away, he just rubbed this thumb over the back of your hand.

"Are you sure?"

"About what?"

"Me?" He was so quiet and sounded so scared. You pulled back to look at his sweet face and he looked so nervous.

"What do you mean?"

"I- I'm younger than you, and I'm awkward and stupid-"

"You are not stupid!" You scolded, pulling back from him some but not taking your hand out of his. He didn't say anything, just looked at your interlinked hands.

"I need you to be one hundred percent sure, because I don't think I could handle losing you." He whispered and everything seemed to turn to slow motion. While he didn't say the fated three words, you could feel what he meant in his words. It took your breath away and brought tears to your eyes. Jisung finally looked at you, right in the eye, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You really wished you weren't surrounded by forty other college kids…

"I'm sure, Jisung." You brought his arm up to wrap around you and he pulled you into his side, cuddling together to finish the movie. Periodically you would glance out the window at the white out conditions, but you two felt so warm with each other. As they put up the third movie, you both were getting very tired. He originally offered to let you have the mattress, but you insisted that you share. You were in the back corner, and honestly most people wouldn't care as long as your clothes were on. He laid down against the wall, placing a folded blanket under his head and laid one down for you. Starting off next to each other, you soon found yourself curled into his side with your head on his chest.

"Good night, (Y/N)." He whispered and you drifted off to his thudding heart.

You both woke up to hear the other students stirring and a bunch of them were looking out the windows on the other side of the room. At least they were considerate of you two sleeping where you were. As you moved, Jisung grunted and yawned, his arm around you tightening to prevent you from sitting up.

"Ji." You whispered and his eyes flew open and he noticed the other people awake and let you both sit up. Getting your bearings, you both stand and adjust and look out the window yourselves. The snow had stopped, the sunrise stunning in the mostly clear sky, the light bouncing off the untouched blanket of white. A staff member came in and announced that the power was back to normal, but classes would be cancelled that day and the next. They told everyone to leave the mattresses as is and you gathered your belongings and went back across the skyway to get to his dorm room. The glass had been cleaned and the lights replaced already. He led you to his room and he dropped his stuff off and you both grabbed your coats. Jisung had offered to walk you back home, and you weren't sure when you could do that because most of the walkways had not been plowed or shoveled yet.

"Oh, right."

"Do you have anything breakfast-y?" You asked him and he went to the dresser under the TV, and you looked through what he had. The only thing that was a breakfast food was a bunch of Poptarts. He didn't have a toaster, but they did in the kitchen on each floor. Donghyuck and Renjun lived on the same floor, so you went down to that lobby to meet them and Mark. You sent a text to them to go there to and they were already there when you got there. You cracked open the box of toaster pastries and slid some into the four-slot toaster.

"Did you see how much snow is out there?" Donghyuck asked and you nodded.

"Yeah, it’s gotta be at least a foot, maybe two." You turned to them and rested against the counter. Jisung did the same next to you, your shoulders brushing. Renjun and Mark shared a look as Hyuck was too busy rambling while looking out the window.

"I heard the people on the top floor had to go somewhere else?" Renjun asked and the toaster popped so Jisung answered while you dealt with those.

"Yeah, they had to divert more power for heating and stuff, so they took everyone on floors seven and eight and brought us to the central building ballroom. They gave us extra mattresses and put on movies; they had some other kids there that had nowhere else to go. I was the only one with someone staying with me, so we had to share-" He caught himself and Hyuck whipped around to look at him. You put two Poptarts onto two plates and set them down for Mark and Renjun then turned back to make more.

"You shared a bed?!?" Donghyuck shouted much too loudly. All four of you shushed him and he came to sit down with the other two.

"He was going to let me just take the mattress, but I suggested we share." You shrugged, your cheeks tingling a bit.

"Did you tell her?" Mark looked at the maknae. His eyes widened and then the eldest looked at you.

"Tell me what?"

"Hyung!" Jisung cringed and he threw his hands up in surrender. You cast a glance at Renjun, and he gave you a supportive smile and nodded. Instead of either of you saying anything, you delicately rested your hand in his and he linked your fingers.

"You lucky-!" Hyuck shook his head and Mark grinned brightly, laughing.

"Finally!" The rest of the Poptarts got done and you all ate before deciding to bundle up and play in the snow. They were working on plowing and shoveling, but you were in no hurry to get home. People were already having snowball fights, making snowmen, and burrowing tunnels in the snow. You all felt like little children as you trotted outside and the other three ran through the nearly two-foot snow toward where Jaemin and Jeno were already building a snow fort. You checked the group chat, and the last message was from Chenle saying he was on his way.

"The snow is so pretty!" You beamed and Jisung grabbed your hand again and started to lead you a bit away. There was a small little courtyard next to the central building and behind the admissions building. It had been shoveled already, even the benches had been brushed of snow and dried off. He led you over to the fountain that they had shut off weeks ago and faced you to him.

"I wanted to do this earlier, but there were people around…" He stepped closer till his head is tipped down, your noses touching. His big hands find your waist, if your coat wasn't on, he might have been able to touch his thumbs together. You tilted your head and his lips barely touched yours before he pulled back.

"I, um, have never…"

"That’s okay." You grinned, bringing one of the hands on his chest to his jaw and pulling him down to you. You led the kiss at first, but as his confidence grew, he pulled you ever closer and took over. It was like fireworks burst behind your eyes and when you finally separated, you giggled with glee and bumped his forehead.

"Let’s sit out the next storm together too." You suggested.

"How about all of them?"

Masterlist

[queenofhyruleee]

Link/Reader Story

I tried to write a one-shot today but got carried away and ended up with the first chapter of a short story. I've never posted on Tumblr before but hey, there's a first time for everything, right?

Summary: After being shrouded in Twilight and tormented by monsters for so long, Hyrule is finally recovering and returning to normal. And what's more normal than a shitty relationship? You're a potions-maker's apprentice who is dating someone who is... less than ideal. While you're struggling to navigate your deteriorating relationship and dwindling self-confidence, your good friend Link is determined to help you see that you deserve better.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, and as it fell so did your spirits. You sighed, dropping your chin into the palm of your hand. He probably wouldn’t show. 

Again. 

You decided that you were only going to wait for another ten minutes before calling it a night and going home. Frustration bubbled in your stomach, and as the minutes passed you found yourself fighting back tears of frustration. 

Why hadn’t he come? Why does he keep doing this? 

You had been romantically involved with Elis for the better part of a year. It had started off strong and sweet, with him dropping by the potions shop where you worked nearly daily with some sort of sweet treat or pastry. Eventually, those days came fewer and farther between, but you hadn’t thought much about it because it made sense that maybe the excitement of the new relationship was wearing down. You weren’t worried because he still treated you with kindness and was happy to spend the weekends wandering around Castle Town or down by the lake. But recently, it was as if you didn’t exist. He hardly made time for you anymore, and when he did he didn’t even show half the time, later claiming some issue or another had come up suddenly. 

Like he would probably do again after today. 

Through the tavern window, you watched as crowds strolled past, chatting animatedly and munching on various foods that were being sold in the different stalls that currently lined the roads of Castle Town. Today was the Autumn Festival - the first one since the strange monsters had been eradicated and Princess Zelda restored her rightful place on the throne. The entirety of Hyrule was celebrating not only the beginning of a new Autumn, but its freedom as well. 

Yet despite all of the happiness and celebration, you felt as lonely and dark as ever. 

Sighing again, you decided you had spent enough time looking pathetic alone at the table, looking up hopefully at the door anytime you heard it open. Standing up, you caught the attention of the barkeep, Telma. 

“Headed out?” She asked, a knowing look in her eye. You nodded as you walked up to the bar, digging around in your satchel to try and find your wallet. Telma reached across the bar, resting her hand in front of you and making you pause. “No need, hon. This one’s on the house.”

You looked up at her, eyes wide. “No Telma, I-” 

“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, waving her hand in the air. “It’s the Autumn Festival today, and everyone deserves to have something nice done for ‘em.” 

Your look of protest melted into one of gratefulness. You smiled at the older woman, feeling appreciative that at least someone cared enough to be kind to you today. 

“You know, speaking of which..” Her tone had changed to one a bit darker. She grabbed a dirty cup from the pile at her side and began to clean it with a rag she held in her other hand. “This is the third time in a month I’ve seen you sitting there all alone for a few hours, looking more anxious than a man whose girlfriend just told him she missed her monthly bleed. Wanna tell me anything about that?” Her eyes bore into yours, waiting for an answer you had a feeling she already knew. 

She was aware that you and Elis were together, and she expressed from the beginning that she wasn’t entirely happy about the fact. Telma was one of the first people you met when you moved to Castle Town from your family’s farm just outside of Kakiriko Village. She immediately took you under her wing and helped you adjust to and navigate the fast-paced life of the city. Even though you were there as a potions-makers apprentice which gave you housing and meals, she still insisted on doting on you and taking care of you as if you had nothing. And in a way, you had had nothing. You were forever grateful for her kindness, her hospitality, and her unwavering friendship. You knew that she cared about you more than maybe even your own family, so you absolutely hated the feeling of knowing you were disappointing her. 

Elis was the son of one of the richest businessmen in Castle Town, and maybe even Hyrule. And he… did not have the best reputation. You of course had no way of knowing that being new to the area and all but Telma, as the owner of the most popular bar in the city, was privy to all of the hot gossip and drama. And apparently his name was one that came up with the patrons of her bar. A lot. 

When you first caught Elis’ eye, and Telma started to catch on to what was happening, she had given you a warning. 

“Now I’m not your mother, so I’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do, or who you can and can’t do. But honey.. I’d think twice before you get involved with him.” 

Of course you had thanked her for her concern and promised it wasn’t that serious, but now you were regretting not asking more questions. You had fallen in way too deep and before you realized it, you were telling yourself you were different from the other people he had been with. You would change him. Surely you wouldn’t be one of those bitter ex-lovers, drunkenly rambling on to anyone who would listen about how awful he was to you. 

Well, you hadn’t made it to the drunken rambling part quite yet, but you were certainly starting to catch on that maybe you wouldn’t be the one to change him after all. 

Telma continued to look at you expectantly, waiting for any kind of answer to her question. You averted your eyes, knowing you wouldn’t be able to lie if you had to look at her face. 

“No, everything is fine. I just have been feeling a bit suffocated at the shop lately. So I’ve been coming here to get some time alone.” Now that the lie was out, you met her eyes again and gave her a very non-convincing smile. 

Telma raised her eyebrows and gave you a very deadpan look to show you that she did not believe you in the slightest. You were certain that she was going to keep pressing for the truth, but much to your relief she instead just gave a resigned sigh and shook her head. 

“It’s just hard to watch you settle for this when we both know you don’t have to.” 

“It’s fine, really!” You tried to sound upbeat. “He’s just been super busy lately, and things keep coming up.” 

Telma rolled her eyes as she grabbed another cup and began to scrub. “‘Things keep coming up’ my ass,” she muttered. Then louder, “You actually believe him when he says that?” 

You bit your lip, knowing it wasn’t even worth the effort of trying to lie. So you remained silent instead, which was answer enough for your friend. 

“You deserve better than this, sweetie. You really do.” She cocked her eyebrows, and a small smirk suddenly replaced her annoyed grimace. “You know, you deserve something like a knight in shining armor. Someone who would treat you like royalty.” Her emphasis on certain words gave you the impression that she was trying to imply something, but whatever it was it went right over your head. She continued.

“Someone who is loyal, and kind, and would ride to the ends of Hyrule for you.” 

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Yeah, okay Telma. Find me a man like that who would be interested in someone as plain as me and then we’ll go from there.” The sarcasm dripped from your voice, hiding the painful emotions that were beginning to stir again as you thought about how little Elis really seemed to care about you. Ride to the ends of Hyrule for you? He couldn’t even walk a kilometer away to meet you for dinner. And maybe that was all you could hope to get. 

Telma froze, giving you an incredulous look. She set down the items she was holding and put her hands on her hips, scoffing. “Now really?” 

You shrugged, dropping all efforts to hide your true emotions. “I’m a nobody who works as a potions-maker with nothing significant and no money to their name. Sure, a knight in shining armor sounds great and all, but someone like that would surely be sought after by all kinds of people with more to offer than me. And if they’re an actual knight then I know for a fact they’re one of the most desirable bachelors out there. I mean, take Link for example. He has women and men alike practically throwing themselves at him.”

Though you knew that comparing Link to a normal knight was hardly accurate. He was anything but normal. He was one of the members of the Royal Guard and recognized as a hero by the people of Hyrule. You weren’t sure you understood all of the details, but you did know that he had played a major role in expelling the monsters from the land and restoring peace to the kingdom. Once the major damage around the kingdom had been fixed and things began to settle back into a normal existence, Princess Zelda had held a large ceremony open to the public where he was officially made a member of the Royal Guard. You had laughed so much that day, knowing just how uncomfortable the guest of honor was with all of the attention. 

Aside from being a famous knight and hero, Link was someone you would consider a close friend - maybe even your best friend (of course you would never tell Telma). You had met him for the first time back when the monsters still roamed and he frequently paid visits to Telma and her tavern to speak with members of the Resistance. 

You had only heard stories about his bravery and heroism from your friend until the day she came crashing into the shop where you worked, speaking frantically about needing a health potion. She didn’t explain much, but you didn’t ask any questions either as you quickly got to work and provided her with what she needed. She promised she would explain more later and rushed out as soon as you had placed the bottle of red potion in her hand. You spent several hours after that as a ball of anxiety, creating the worst scenarios in your head about why she could possibly have needed the potion. 

It wasn’t until you were about ready to close the shop for the day and rush over to see her that the door had opened and in walked a face you had never seen before. The man certainly looked as if he had seen better days and was in desperate need of a nap, but regardless you were slightly taken aback by how handsome he still appeared. He was tall and lean, with broad shoulders and (you assumed) muscular arms that were hidden underneath a loose, white long-sleeved shirt. His hair was a beautiful dirty blonde, tied back with a simple leather band that left loose strands framing his strong jawline. His face had been rather pale, and dark circles sat beneath blue eyes that you suspected were dulled due to exhaustion. But despite his obviously not wonderful condition, he had still exuded a sense of strength that was almost intimidating. 

“Um, h-hello,” you stuttered. “I’m just about to close up-” 

“Are you the one that I have to thank for saving my life?” He asked, taking a step forward. You froze up, and then frantically looked around the shop, trying to find the other person he was obviously talking to, because there was no way he could have been talking about you. A warm chuckle brought your eyes back to his face, where his soft smile nearly made you breathless. 

“Are you the potions-maker?” 

 Mouth slightly open, you continued to stare. “U-uh yeah, that was me I guess.” 

He nodded and continued to walk further into the shop, closer to you. You noticed that he seemed to be walking with a slight limp. 

“Well, I just wanted to come here personally and give my thanks. Without that potion I’m not sure I would have the opportunity to be standing here now.” 

You were certain that the look on your face was ridiculous, but you had no idea how to respond to this situation. It was your job to make potions, you didn’t need any thanks for it. 

You wanted to say thanks, but instead when you opened your mouth you said, “Why are you standing here right now? If you needed that potion less than 12 hours ago, you should almost certainly still be in bed.” You gestured to his body, “And no offense or anything, but you really look like you should still be in bed.” 

His colorless cheeks turned a bit pink then, and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, almost shyly. “Well, Telma is a wonderful person and all but I was starting to feel a bit…” 

“Smothered?” You finished for him, stifling back the laugh that threatened to come out, knowing how your friend was. A look of relief washed over the stranger’s face and he nodded, seeming to realize that you understood how he was feeling. 

“Yeahhh,” you drawled out, nodding sympathetically. “I understand that all too well. I actually had to put a lock on my bedroom door the last time I had a small sickness to physically stop her from bringing me medicine and food every hour. I love her to death but I can only take so much soup in one day.” 

He laughed then, and you wondered how in the world a laugh could sound so nice. Pushing those thoughts aside, you introduced yourself then, holding your hand out to the man. He smiled and took it, his hand calloused from years of hard work but gentle nonetheless. 

“I’m Link.” 

A lightbulb went off in your head then. “Oh, you’re Link? I’ve heard so much about you!” 

“I could say the same about you.”

It was the start of a beautiful friendship from that point onward. Whenever Link was in town, whether he was restocking his supplies, working closely with other members of the Resistance, or doing whatever it is that heroes do, you always made sure to make time to see him. And he did the same. He probably became your number one customer, always putting in bulk orders for various potions. You always joked with him about how often he needed health potions, but truthfully you were very worried about him and how he was constantly out in harm’s way. It was a lot of work, filling his large orders, but you were happy to know that you were helping to keep him safe in some capacity.

“And you’ve never.. stopped to consider why Link never takes anyone up on their offers?” Telma asked, still staring at you with an incredulous look. You couldn’t understand why she was acting so strange all of the sudden. 

“Not really,” you shrugged. “I just assumed he’s too busy for it or that he does and nothing comes of it. He doesn’t talk to me much about his conquests, work-related or… otherwise.”

Telma shook her head. “No, honey, I don’t think he’s out there conquering anyone. He seems to have uh.. a specific goal in mind.” There it was again, that tone in her voice that made it seem like she was implying something that you just weren’t understanding. It nagged at you, but you chose to brush it off. Who knew what was going on in your friend’s mind. 

“Well, regardless. I just don’t think I’m the type of person someone like a knight is trying to settle down with. But who knows, maybe I’ll ask Link if any of his fellow knight friends are available and interested.” You laughed, the joke seeming ridiculous. But your friend, on the other, didn’t seem to find it so funny. She stood, her mouth slightly open as if she couldn’t believe what you were saying. 

“You’re joking, right?” 

Frustration was starting to build up within you, unable to understand what you were doing that was so hard to believe. Why was Telma treating you like you were an idiot today? You were slightly kidding when you ragged on yourself about not being good enough, but did your friend genuinely believe it so strongly that even a joke about asking a knight was too much? She was the one that started the whole thing in the first place! 

“Of course I’m joking Telma,” you snapped. “I know my place. Elis is probably the best I can hope to get.” 

Telma closed her mouth, pursing her lips with an unamused look. She shook her head slowly and turned around to organize the newly cleaned mugs and glasses. “It’s not my place to get involved,” she said quietly, more to herself than to you. Still feeling frustrated, you huffed loudly and turned to leave. First Elis, now Telma. This was not shaping up to be a good day. 

Before you could fully turn around though, she glanced back, stopping you with the serious expression on her face. “Really. You can do better. There is better out there. Waiting to love you the way that you deserve to be loved. You just need to open your eyes.” 

Your sour emotions were already set though, and you were in no mood for cryptic messages. “Alright, thank you fortune-teller Telma. I’ll see you later. Thanks again for the drink.” And without looking back, you walked to the door, opened it, and took a step into the darkening evening. 

The air was crisp and cooler than it had been since the spring, signifying the exit of summer and beginning of a chilly autumn. Very fitting weather for the night of the Autumn Festival. 

You crossed your arms tightly against your body as you walked, the thin shirt you chose to wear not doing a good job to protect you from the chill. You felt your temper cooling as you walked as well, gradually being replaced by a feeling of deep sadness and loneliness. All around you were people enjoying the festival, happy to be surrounded by those they love. Grandparents lovingly watching their grandkids laugh and play as they ran through the crowded streets playing tag, friends walking together and sharing stories that made them snort and grab their sides from laughing so hard, new couples attached at the hip and so engrossed in each other they hardly watched where they’re going… it was isolating. Here you were, recently stood up for the umpteenth time by someone who was supposed to care about you, walking through massive crowds of people and yet never feeling more alone.

You felt an all-to-familiar tightness in your throat, and the tears began to prick the corner of your eyes, blurring your surroundings into blobs of shimmering color. You fought hard to keep your composure, determined to make it back to the shop so you could run to your small bedroom upstairs and never come back out. But the loud voice in your head was determined to break you. 

Why? Why am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? How can I be better?

The strong feeling of hopelessness that came with those though breached the dam you had built to hold back the tears, and with a loud sob, they started to spill. A few people within your vicinity turned to look at you curiously, likely wondering what could have caused the noise that came out of your mouth. You put your head down and covered your mouth with your hands, hoping to muffle the sound of the sobs that continued to come involuntarily. 

Luckily for you, there was a small alleyway directly to your left. You were able to shove past the poor innocent people who were in your way and beeline for the abandoned area. Once you were in the alley, you began to run, desperate to get as far away from people as possible. You weren’t able to make it very far though as a dead end blocked your escape. Incapable of thinking of any other alternatives, you resigned to this being your stopping point and slid down the wall until you were sitting with your arms wrapped around your knees, legs tucked as closely to your body as you could physically get them. Dropping your head down, let all of the feelings you had been holding in for the evening out. 

It was overwhelming yet cathartic. The force of your sobs wracked your body for what felt like hours, the thoughts of inadequacy and rejection running through your mind on an endless loop. But eventually, you found it easier and easier to take deep, measured breaths and the body shaking sobs gradually slowed to a halt. No longer did you feel… well, anything. The only thing you could feel now was numbness. A quiet calm to replace the raging storm that had been going on. 

You sat up, leaning your head against the wall behind you. You stared up at evening sky, the sun out of view as it dipped closer to the horizon. You’re not sure how long you sat there, relishing the feeling of feeling nothing at all. You knew you needed to get up, but you worried that once you stood the feelings would come rushing back. 

Your solitude was ruined by the loud crashing noise of a door being opened with extreme force close by. The sound startled you, making you nearly topple over with surprise. 

You heard a whiny, high-pitched voice over the thundering beat of your heart. “Come on, it’s about to start!! We’re not even going to get a good view at this point!” 

A few meters away, a young child came running out of the small apartment door that you hadn’t even realized was there. Had they heard your crying? 

“Leon, slow down. There will be plenty of space available. The procession goes all the way from the city gates up to the castle. Certainly not everyone will be crowded in the same area.” An older woman stepped out after the child, her smile conflicting with the stern tone in her voice. She didn’t even glance in your direction as she shut the door behind her and followed the child down the alley to join the festivities you had so desperately escaped. 

Ah yes, the procession. You had almost forgotten all about that. 

As a closing event of the Autumn Festival, the royal family traveled in procession through Castle Town, waving and acknowledging their loyal and loving subjects. It was not just them, however. The royal carriage was last in line in the procession. Preceding it were several (and in your opinion, more interesting) groups. Professional jugglers, wowing the crowds as they showed off the impressive skills they have while on the move. Bands of Gorons who marched in step, beating out different tunes powerfully on large drums. One year, when you were young, there was a fantastic group of Zora dancers who mesmerized the crowds with their movements, as smooth on land as they were in water. It changed from year to year, but since this was the first Autumn Festival celebration after years of being terrorized by monsters, it was sure to be a big one. 

You continued to sit, looking towards the crowd as it continued to grow, their excited voices bouncing off the walls of the empty alley. Normally, you would be one of them, jumping up and down with excited anticipation to see what that year’s procession has in store. But now you couldn’t imagine standing there, surrounded by happiness and laughter. 

The crowd roared as the first part of the procession finally appeared, slowly crawling through the street. You listened as people cheered for the performers who walked, “ooh”ing and “ahh”ing as they did whatever it was that they were doing. You couldn’t see through the crowd of people who now blocked off the entrance of the alley, so you could only listen and imagine, picking up bits and pieces of conversations as it drifted down to your ears. 

You didn’t need to be able to see when the Gorons arrived, however. That you could feel. The vibrations rattled your entire body as they beat their drums in sync, the unfamiliar tune sinking into your very bones. It was an oddly relaxing feeling. You were happy to close your eyes and rest your head on the wall, soaking in the feeling. You were left with an achingly empty feeling in your chest when the Gorons were far enough away that you could no longer feel their drums. 

You decided that even though you were tired, you would wait until the end to get up and begin making your way home. With the crowd the way that it was, there was no way you would make it anywhere anyways. So, you continued to sit. 

As you waited, your mind drifted to Elis. If he hadn’t come to meet you, then where was he? Was he just lounging lazily in his bed as he so often liked to do, unable to be bothered to come meet you? Or was he out there in the crowd, standing with his friends, cracking jokes without even sparing a single thought for you? 

Your heart dropped as another thought crossed your mind. Was he out there in the crowd with another girl? Had he spent the evening whisking someone else around to the different stalls, sharing all sorts of sweet treats with her? Feeding her fresh fruit as they walked? Whispering things in her ear, making her giggle and blush? Did he give her his jacket when she began to shiver because she was only wearing a light shirt? Was he going to take her home once the festivities ended? 

You could feel the emotions coming back, much to your displeasure. You didn’t want to feel anything. You liked the numbness. But the thought of Elis leaving you to look foolish while he was out entertaining another girl was too much to handle. 

You decided that you needed to get home. You couldn’t stand to be out any longer. You would shove people out of the way if you needed to. 

Standing up quickly, you made your way back to the entrance of the alley where the crowd was currently a wave of excitement. You began to push your way through, but you were only able to make it to the front of the crowd before you realized you were stuck. There was rope that stretched down the street as far as you could see on both sides of you. To block people from crossing the road and potentially getting hurt or messing up the procession, you assumed. 

Frustration bubbling and exiting your body in the form of hot tears that welled up in your eyes, you turned to push your way back. But once again, you quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen. A large Goron stood behind you, happily oblivious and chatting with another large Goron besides them. Considering you had to crane your neck to look up at their faces, you assumed that you would not be able to get their attention with all of the noise and distraction. Groaning inwardly you turned back and stood miserably, knowing that your only option now was to stand and wait for the procession to end. 

Luckily you didn’t have to wait long before you heard the sound of the horns, signifying the arrival of the royal carriage. Once again, the crowd around you came alive, everyone excitedly standing on their toes and moving around to try and get a look. 

The horses were the first thing to come into view. Beautiful white horses donning colorful, bedazzled bits and draped with navy and gold saddle blankets made their way past you. Children and adults alike stuck their hands out, reaching to try and get a touch of the magnificent creatures as they passed. You wanted to be excited, but the heavy feeling in your chest and tightness in your throat remained, and you knew it was only a matter of time before the tears began to spill again. You just hoped you could hold out until you were able to get away from people.

Something heavy suddenly pushed up against your right shoulder, nearly toppling you over. Luckily you were able to keep your footing and straighten yourself up before falling. Pushing the hair out of your eyes, you glared in the direction of the mysterious force. 

Two girls, probably just a few years younger than you, were standing there, staring at you with wide eyes. 

“So sorry!” One squeaked, genuinely looking scared. You held your glare for a few more seconds before turning your head back to the procession, not even bothering to accept her apology. Her and her friend did not seem bothered for too long, however, and began to chat animatedly. They were so close that you couldn’t help but overhear. 

“Do you think we’ll see him?”

“Of course we’re going to see him you idiot! He’s like, Princess Zelda’s shadow! Wherever she is, he is!”

Suddenly the conversation you were trying very hard to ignore grabbed your attention. You realized, with slight amusement, that you had a good idea as to who they were probably talking about.

“I mean, I don’t blame her for always wanting him around.” 

“Oh I totally agree. If I had a knight who looked like that, I’d never let him leave my side.”

The girls burst into giggles, and you rolled your eyes. But also, you knew you couldn’t blame them either. There was no denying that Link was very easy on the eyes. 

The girl closest to you sighed wistfully. “He just seems so dreamy. He’s brave, and strong, and he’s so kind! One time I saw him buy a whole basket of bread that he then passed out to the line of people who had been waiting for hours to see the doctor. This was when that horrible sickness came through Castle Town a few months ago and everyone was sick! He risked his own health to make sure people were fed while they waited.” 

You hadn’t heard about that, but you were not surprised in the least. Link was an absolutely selfless man who consistently put other people’s needs before his own. He had done it a time or two for you as well. One of those times was actually during the sickness that the two girls were referring to. 

You had managed to stay healthy for awhile, but you found yourself extremely overworked during that time, trying to keep up with the mass influx of orders of health potions and other remedies that came pouring in from desperate townspeople. You had averaged about an hour of sleep a night for days on end, and were lucky if you were able to eat a single meal. Luckily, Link had offered to help you with deliveries which took a massive load off of your plate. However, it still took a major toll on your body physically. Luckily, Link was there to save the day. You know, like heroes do. 

The bell dinged, signaling that someone had entered the store. You didn’t even bother to turn around, busy cutting and weighing the ingredients in front of you. It was a very precise recipe, and even the slightest miscalculation or mess up could change the effect of the potion entirely. 

“Hey, I’m back.” His calm and gentle voice was a welcome break from your frantic muttering out loud to yourself as you worked. You simply grunted and waved the hand holding the knife into the air to acknowledge his arrival. 

His laughter was followed by footsteps as he walked behind the counter, coming to a stop beside you. His presence seemed to bring you comfort, and you could feel yourself starting to relax slightly. “You know, waving a knife at a member of the Royal Guard could be seen as a threat. Be careful where you point that thing.” 

You rolled your eyes and finally turned your head to face him, your exhausted smile meeting his boyish grin. “At this point, there is nothing you could do to me that is worse than what I’ve been dealing with the past few weeks. Go ahead and lock me up or chop me up, either is preferable at this point.” 

His smile faltered, and you could see the concern in his eyes. Suddenly, he looked very serious. “Have you eaten today?” 

Sighing, you put down the knife and stepped away from the ingredients. You decided a short break wouldn’t hurt. Running a hand over your face, you tried your best to stifle a yawn. “What time is it?” 

“It’s a few hours past midday. Have you eaten?” He repeated, eyes boring into yours. You worried your bottom lip, nervous to tell him that you had not. 

“Well, Elis told me he would bring me lunch an hour before noon.” 

Link’s eyes hardened. “And did he?” 

You laughed timidly, shrugging. “I’m sure something came up and he was too busy.” 

The blonde did not look impressed in the slightest. “So, no.” 

You waved a hand nonchalantly. “It’s okay, I’m not super hungry anyways. Too busy to be hungry!” With fake enthusiasm, you made to turn back to your ingredients and continue working. Link’s hand gently touched your arm, stopping you from moving. 

“You need to take care of yourself. You need to eat.” The concern in his face made your heart skip a beat. 

You nodded finally, giving in. “I know, I will. I guess I won’t be any help to anyone if I die of starvation huh?” 

Link shook his head, his expression still very serious. “I’m not worried about other people. I’m worried about you.” 

You froze, your breath catching slightly in your throat. Your brain seemed to malfunction as you tried to figure out how to reply. But Link was suddenly distracted, rummaging around in the satchel that was slung across his body, a concentrated look on his face. Finally, he seemed to find what he was looking for and pulled out a small brown bag, which he then held out to you. You looked at it, then back up at him. He nudged it forward again, prompting you to take it. 

“Please.” 

You didn’t have any words as you gingerly took the bag from his hands. Slowly, you opened it and peered down at the contents. Bread, cheese, a few slices of dried meat, and a large red apple. You looked back up at your friend. 

“I can’t take your lunch from you!” You exclaimed, trying to push the bag back into his hands. He was having none of it though. He grabbed your hand with both of his. He gripped it gently but firmly, closing your fist over the opening of the bag and pushing it back towards you. 

“It’s not my lunch, don’t worry.” 

“Oh, so you just walk around with spare lunches in your bag?” Though when you really thought about it, he did always seem to have literally everything inside that bag..

Link looked away, suddenly seeming shy. “Well, no. I brought it. For you.” 

“For me?”  For what felt like the millionth time that day, your chest swelled with gratitude for the blonde. 

“You know.. just in case.” 

It was both charming and upsetting. It was extremely sweet that Link was concerned and thinking about you. But it made your heart sink to think that Elis, someone who claimed to love you, couldn’t even be bothered. You tried your hardest to fight back the tears as you nodded and accepted the meal. 

Link seemed to let out a breath of relief, smiling gently as he watched you pull the bread out and nibble on the edge. 

“Please promise me you will take better care of yourself.” 

You just nodded, your mouth full of bread. He narrowed his eyes and leaned down, his face just inches away from yours. You froze, suddenly feeling nervous at his proximity. 

“Promise.” 

His face was once again serious, but his eyes were soft. Caring. 

You swallowed the bread you had been chewing and nodded again, genuine this time. “I promise, Link.” 

He continued to stare, unmoving. “You promise what?”

You groaned, making a face. “Really?”

But his stoic expression told you that he was not joking. 

“I promise that I will take better care of myself,” you muttered, feeling like a child who was being scolded. He still didn’t move for a few moments, however, continuing to search your eyes with an unreadable expression. Finally, he stood up and nodded once. 

“Good. I expect to see you eating every day from here on out. On your own,” he added. “Not waiting for a meal that will never show.” 

The meaning behind his words cut deep, and once again you were reminded that the one person who was supposed to care about you didn’t seem to. 

But at least you had Link. 

 A loud squeal brought you back to the present, where you hadn’t even realized you zoned out. 

“Oh here it comes!”

And sure enough, the royal carriage came into view, pulled by two gigantic horses. What little sunlight remained reflected beautifully off of the gold exterior, the different jewels that decorated it sparkling magnificently. The fabric top was not in place, giving the crowd an unobstructed view of the figure standing inside. 

Princess Zelda was the vision of beauty and grace as she smiled and waved to the crowd. Her blonde hair was pulled out of her slim face and back into an intricate braid that was adorned with flowers that matched the white and lavender dress she was wearing.  A small but genuine and warm smile graced her lips, and her eyes were sharp and alert as she scanned her surroundings and took in the sight of her subjects. She exuded a sense of strength and unity, which was something the people of Hyrule had desperately needed for so long. 

Once again, your train of thought was broken by an obnoxious squeal. 

“There he is! I told you! I told you we’d see him!” The girl next you jumped up and down, not even realizing that she bumped into you every time she did so. Her friend was leaning heavily over the side of the rope, trying to get the best view possible. You held your breath, feeling anxious all of the sudden for a reason you didn’t understand. 

His hair was the first thing you spotted, the navy cap contrasting heavily with the blonde locks that weren’t quite as well tamed as the rest of him. The pristine white trousers and navy and crimson tunic hugged his athletic figure generously, showcases the strength he had built over years of hard work and fighting. His sword was strapped to his back, ready to be pulled at a moment’s notice if needed. But what you noticed most about the knight was the way that he carried himself as he marched alongside the carriage. 

He held his chin high, shrouded with an air of confidence well earned from countless successful battles. Despite his tall and muscular frame, he was endlessly graceful, almost gliding along the ground. His bright blue eyes were alert and sharp, and he scanned the crowd continuously, making sure there were no imminent threats to the princess or otherwise. 

Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him, suddenly finding yourself enamored with everything about him. Telma’s words from earlier came back to you as you continued to stare. 

A knight in shining armor. 

There was a phrase to describe Link if there ever was one. From his strength, to his courage, to his generosity, to his kindness. He was the embodiment of a true knight. 

Suddenly, you found yourself once again reliving the memory of the two of you in your shop, concern etched into his face as he stared down at you. 

“Please promise me you will take better care of yourself.” 

“I’m not worried about other people. I’m worried about you.”

An intense feeling of loneliness and longing washed over you, making it harder for you to breathe. You bit down on your lip as you fought to hold back the tears that suddenly welled up in your eyes. 

Whoever Link chooses will be the luckiest person in all of Hyrule. To have someone who cares so openly, someone with such a good heart.. Not someone who would continuously abandon plans and give half-hearted excuses for why he can’t come. 

But what you had told Telma was true. You were a nobody with no money to your name. You had nothing to offer anyone. Elis was rich and had status. For someone like him to be with someone like you was almost unheard of. It would be silly to get caught up on something as silly as feelings when you were being given more than what you deserved. 

It still hurt though. And the tears still came, spilling over and sliding down your cheeks. 

“He’s getting closer! Oh my goddesses, he’s almost right in front of us!!” The girl next to you grabbed her friend, shaking her with excitement. You watched from the corner of your eye as they quickly rushed to fix their hair and straighten out their dresses that had been ruffled in all the commotion. 

You found yourself annoyed at their behavior, but appreciated the heads up. With you being in the front, there was a very good chance that Link would see you. And he couldn’t see you crying. You turned away, trying to hide your face as you wiped frantically at the tears. But it seemed like the more you tried, the more the tears came. You began to panic, which only added to the strong emotions that you were feeling and made everything worse. 

You turned back around, planning to just sneak a quick peek to see how much time you had before he walked by. If he was too close, you planned to just turn around and stay turned around until he was well past you. Sure it would look funny, but he wouldn’t know that that was the back of your head in the crowd. 

But unfortunately, just like it had been for the entire day, luck was not on your side. As soon as you turned around, piercing blue eyes met your red and watery ones. 

You immediately straightened up, wiping frantically at your face and trying to plaster on a smile that was horribly unconvincing. Link’s eyes widened as he took in your appearance, and you could see that he was visibly struggling to keep his facial features calm.

“Annessa, he’s looking at you! I can’t believe it, he’s looking at you!!!”

The girl’s voices sounded far away as she screeched at the girl next to you, whose name was apparently Annessa. The only thing you could focus on was Link and the pained expression he worse on his face as he fought against whatever emotions he was currently feeling. 

Once again you tried to give him an unconvincing smile, but it was the ultimate failure as your lips quivered and you had to put your hand over your mouth to hide the sob that came out. 

Did he know? Did he know how pathetic you were? How you weren’t even worth your own partner’s time? Surely he had to know that, as someone who was one of the most popular men in the entire kingdom. He was only nice to you because that’s who he was. He was a nice person. 

You maintained eye contact with him for as long as you could, but eventually you had to turn away, embarrassed by your emotions and how unstable you appeared. When you brought your head back up, Link was no longer looking at you. He looked forward as he continued to march on. 

Exactly. He knew that you weren’t worth it. That you were an embarrassment. 

But what you weren’t expecting was for him to turn his head, glancing back over his shoulder to get one last look at you. You weakly waved, and he frowned before turning back around and continuing to look forward. 

“Did you see that?? He even looked back at you!! You made the Link do a double take!!!” 

The girls next to you jumped up and down in excitement, squealing on and on about Link and something about marriage and children. You weren’t sure because you tuned them out. You tuned everything out. That feeling of numbness returned, which you were grateful for, and you spent the rest of the procession staring at the ground, blissfully unaware of anything happening around you. 

Eventually the procession had ended and the crowd began to clear, excitement still in the air as the chatted about the day’s events to each other and made their way home or to the bars. It was nighttime now, so the party would likely continue for most of the adults, whether that was in the tavern or at private parties around the city. 

For you, you were just happy that you could finally make your way home. You did not want to party, you did not want to socialize. You wanted to crawl into your bed and never get out. You wanted to physically become one with the pillows. 

As you approached the shop, you had a stupid hope in your heart that maybe Elis would be there waiting for you. That he had come late to the bar to meet you, and when he couldn’t find you in the crowd he decided to wait for you at your shop. But, of course, you were met with disappointment and darkness when you arrived home. Nobody was waiting for you at the door, and there were no explanations about why he never showed. 

You entered the shop and barely remembered to lock the door behind you before dragging yourself upstairs to your bedroom. Master Shido was out of town, traveling to who-knows-where for some rare ingredients, so you did not have to worry about the noise you made as you collapsed on to your bed. 

Today was awful, and you wanted absolutely nothing more than for it to be over. You lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, but sleep never came. Instead, your mind whirled continuously about Elis. 

What was he doing at the moment? Was he with another woman? Did he even feel any remorse for standing you up? How would you confront him? Should you even confront him? What would you say if- 

Thud. 

Your froze, your racing thoughts stopped by a loud, muffled noise downstairs. You held your breath as you waited, in the silence and in the darkness, for more noise to come. But it never did. 

You were starting to believe you had simply imagined it when it came again.

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Someone was knocking on the front door of the store.

[lotus-flowerz]

deadweight

TW!! INSECURITY, FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION AND NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, ENDED RELATIONSHIPS (NOT WITH DILUC), SUCIDAL THOUGHTS, GETTING DRUNK

diluc x reader hurt/comfort

F/n- Friend's name

a/n- sorry for the amount of self indulgent fics, i don't feel comfy talking ab it with most of my irls because i dont want to worry them or push them away- im writing this because a (now ex) friend of mine just cut me off to focus more on their partner and because i was more of a deadweight (hence the fic name) than a friend

sorry for the dump ty if you actually read it LMAO

You were walking back towards Mondstat. Another lonely day, doing commissions and helping other people with their problems. All you could even feel nowadays was jealousy and hair-ripping stress.

The sun was setting, the colors of the sky mixing together to form a light purple. It was truly gorgeous. You stood on the bridge to Mondstat looking at the sky with a sullen expression, not like your normally happy one. You found thoughts flitting through your mind- thoughts you weren't supposed to be thinking:

"What color sunset would I make?"

You shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. You had been having these suicidal urges and tendencies for a while- just no one had exactly picked up on them.

You took a deep breath and walked through the gates of the city of freedom. It didn't feel like freedom to you, though. It felt like endless lonesomeness and work.

"Oh, F/n! Hey!" you called. You hadn't seen them in a while since they had started to recover from their own mental illness. You heard that recently they had a new partner!

"Y/n, hey."

"How have you been?" you asked, smiling at them.

"Good. I've been meaning to come talk to you actually- I think it's best if we go our separate ways- you know, you're a bit of a downer sometimes, no offense."

You felt your heart shatter- again, it happened again. A deadweight.

"Right. That's okay, if I'm not needed anymore then by all means, we should go our separate ways." you smiled again, trying to show that there was no harm done.

"Thank you for understanding. You're a good friend, and I'm thankful that you helped me recover."

"Yeah, anytime!"

You both waved and you hurriedly walked towards Angel's Share. You needed a drink. You and your boyfriend, Diluc, had been strained for a bit- only because you were both never home. Both of you were busy, and you weren't really a drinker. You didn't know he was supposed to be bartending tonight.

You took a seat at the bar and ordered a death after noon. One turned into two- and you nursed the second drink for about an hour before finishing it.

You were certainly an unusual patron at the tavern- and seeing you holding a particularly strong drink, sitting in silence and staring at the table was definitely not what Diluc expected to see when he came to help out Charles that night.

You laid your head down on the bar and just held your drink, not wanting to look at or talk to anyone. It was easier to look drunk than to explain why you were there.

But what you didn't expect was that the death after noon took a bit to kick in- you WERE drunk- and you knew you had to get out of that tavern.

Diluc knew you hadn't noticed him. His heart dropped when he had first seen you in the tavern and he was still worried about you as you shoved yourself up from the position you were in and left a tip on your tab. He looked at it out of curiosity and- 3 DEATH AFTER NOONS???

"Charles-"

"Go, you don't have to explain, just go"

"Thank you."

He tore off his apron and threw it behind the bar. He came up behind you and scooped you up bridal style with ease. You made a tiny struggle but he held you tighter.

"It's Diluc. Calm down."

He felt you relax in his arms and he began the trek to the dawn winery.

"Hey Diluc." you slurred out

"Hm?"

"Why do you have me?"

"You're drunk."

"No. Why are you with me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I weigh you down. Both of us are depressed, but I slow down your recovery. Helping me isn't an easy task and I don't need anyone else leaving because I made them. So if you want to leave just put me down and let me find my own way home. Go live your life without a deadweight pulling you down all the time."

Good god- the alcohol had really loosened your tongue

"Excuse me? Oh Barbatos- darling, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. I love every part of you, mental, physical, personality, you're YOU and I wouldn't change that. You've helped me in my recovery process. You found me at my worst and lifted me up. Why wouldn't I do the same for you? I will never let you go unless it is something that you truly want- and this? This is coming from a different problem. I don't know how long exactly this has been brewing in your pretty little head, but whatever has happened will pass, and whatever will happen, we will be together. I promise."

He kissed your forehead, and looked down at you to admire you. You had wet, tearstained cheeks, your head was leaned against his chest, and you looked as perfect as ever.

"It's okay. I've got you." he whispered.

After arriving at the winery, he cleaned you up and slipped you into your pjs. He put you down in your shared bed. You were only partially awake and aware of what was happening, but you knew you felt something you hadn't felt in a while. A warm fuzzy feeling that welled up from your stomach. You found new tears slipping down your cheeks but you didn't know why.

After telling the maids to prepare a hangover remedy for you to drink in the morning, Diluc joined you in bed. He noticed your starstruck expression and tears, and used his thumb to wipe them away.

"I've got you now. You're alright. Just rest. We can talk about this in the morning, when you're coherent."

He pulled you into him, the smokey scent from his vision mixed with the vanilla shampoo he used filled your senses. His warmth enveloped you, and you felt your eyes begin to close as he combed his fingers through your hair.

"Goodnight, dove. I love you."

[rafemotherfuckingcameron]

GUNS, BITCHES, WEED, MONEY, YSL, GOLD CHAIN, MASERATI, PENTHOUSE, HELICOPTER, FAME

Word Count: 6.7k

Pairing(s): Boss x Reader, Rafe x Protective!Reader, Brady x Rafe

Warnings: Flirting, Violence, Gun Violence, Home Invasion, SMUT, Mentions of pregnancy (including labour), MDNI 18+

Summary: Fem!reader has been hired by Ward to protect his children when a deal goes south and he sees a bounty has been placed on their heads.

Sorry this has taken so long, I've been planning a wedding, but it's finally here and i've loved writing this series Hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Final Chapter

Two weeks had passed since the revelation of my pregnancy, and "surprised" felt like an understatement for the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing. Yet, it wasn't my own reaction that loomed as my primary concern—it was Rafe's. The gravity of the situation settled heavily on me; I was about to alter the course of his life.

While I acknowledged that mine would inevitably undergo a transformation too, those personal implications took a backseat for the moment. The foremost task at hand was sharing this life-altering news with him, and I couldn't shake the nervous anticipation that accompanied the impending conversation. 

Even though the weight of recent revelations had occupied my thoughts for the past couple of weeks, I knew I still had a job to do. The persistent morning sickness was a genuine struggle to contend with, yet I remained determined to focus on the task at hand. Upon arriving at the Cameron's estate, I was greeted by the sight of Rose and Ward preparing lunch for the family. They kindly extended an invitation to join them, but the meal wouldn't be ready for another half hour. My immediate question was about Rafe's whereabouts, directed mainly at Ward. "He's in his room," he replied, gesturing towards the stairs. I nodded my thanks and proceeded upstairs.

Upon reaching Rafe's room, I knocked on the door before entering. Inside, I found him engrossed in a PlayStation game, the sounds of Top and Kelce's animated voices emanating from the headphones. Sneaking up behind him, I ran my hands over his shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek, temporarily setting aside the pressing thoughts that had consumed me for the past weeks.

He abandoned the controller and pulled me onto his lap, deepening our kiss. Amidst the passionate embrace, the cacophony of Topper and Kelce's swearing through the headphones as zombies claimed them provided a backdrop to our moment. Abruptly, he broke away, Rafe declared, "I gotta go, Dad needs something," and promptly ended the game. Expressing how much he had missed me, his hands slid up my thighs as we continued to share a moment of intimacy.

About five minutes later, a sudden urge to throw up overwhelmed me. The burning and knotting sensation in my stomach forced me to pull away from Rafe. Concern etched on his face, he asked, "You okay?" My complexion turned pale, and I leaped off his lap, darting into his bathroom just in time to reach the toilet, where I emptied my stomach. Rafe followed me in, checking on my well-being.

He gently grabbed my hand, pulling a hair tie off my arm and securing my hair into a messy ponytail. I slowly nodded, asking him to give me a minute to clean up. I washed my face with cold water and walked back to where he was waiting on his bed. “You sure your good?” He questioned, standing up to look over me. 

"Ummm, not really," I answered, momentarily averting my gaze before meeting his eyes again. "We need to talk," I continued, gently pulling him to sit down beside me. "I think I know what this is about," he responded almost immediately.

"Really?" I asked, puzzled by his certainty. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you? I knew this was probably going to happen eventually. I just thought it was going to be after this whole thing was over, and you had to go to your next assignment," he admitted, fidgeting with his fingers. I placed my hand on his leg, assuring him, "Hey, no, I'm not breaking up with you, but you might want to after I tell you," I added, prompting a hopeful look from him.

"Thank god, because I don't know if I could take that right now," he responded, kissing my hand. "So if you're not breaking up with me, what did you want to tell me?" he inquired, gazing into my eyes.

"I'm... I'm pregnant," I finally disclosed, awaiting his reaction. The silence that followed felt deafening and somewhat unnerving. "Rafe? Did you hear what I said?" I asked, genuine curiosity filling my eyes.

"Yeah, I heard you," he replied slowly, his eyes shifting towards my stomach. "How long have you known?" he asked, curiosity colouring his expression.

"Only two weeks. I know this is probably not what you expected, and I understand if you don't want anything to do with this. So, I am giving you an out if you want to take it," I responded, offering him an opportunity to process the news. Before I could finish, he quickly interjected, "Hey, that's not what I'm saying. I didn't mean to come across like that. I'm actually really happy about this."

He leaned in, giving me a warm hug and placing his hands on my belly. "Are you sure?" I asked, seeking his assurance to help me cross the emotional threshold.

"100%. In the past weeks, I couldn't imagine not being with you, and now this just makes it amazing," he declared, sealing his words with a deep and affectionate kiss.

"Okay, but this is even more dangerous now. These people are still after you, and I'm going to have to tell my boss I'm pregnant. He's probably going to take me off the case," I stated, ensuring he understood the gravity of the situation.

I looked into Rafe's eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation or concern. "I need you to understand the risks and potential consequences," I continued, my voice conveying a mix of determination and vulnerability. "This complicates things, and it's not just about us anymore. We have to consider the safety of our child, and that means making tough decisions."

Rafe tightened his embrace, his expression a blend of reassurance and acceptance. "I get it," he replied, his voice steady. "We'll figure it out together. Our priority is the safety of our family, and I'll support whatever decision you make, no matter how hard it is."

His unwavering support brought a wave of relief, but the challenges ahead lingered in the air. We sat together, contemplating the uncertain future that awaited us, knowing that our love would be tested in ways we hadn't anticipated.

-----

The following day, I visited the agency to discuss my circumstances with my boss. When I revealed that Rafe was the father, he didn't express surprise. "This isn't the first time this has happened, Y/n, but it is the first time one of our female agents is the one who's pregnant."

Discovering that similar situations had occurred before shocked me. We engaged in a lengthy conversation, outlining the steps ahead. A new agent was brought in to assume my role, but my boss emphasised that I still needed to maintain a presence in the Cameron house. "Y/n, meet Brady; he will be Rafe's new official bodyguard. He's been briefed and is aware of your situation with Ward's son," my boss introduced us.

Brady left us to start his new assignment, and my boss and I further discussed the plan moving forward. Despite the unique challenges, my boss assured me that the agency would support me throughout my pregnancy. We delved into the logistics of my ongoing involvement with the Cameron family, emphasising the importance of maintaining a low profile for security reasons.

As I left the agency, a mix of relief and apprehension filled me. The support from my boss was comforting, but the realisation that my personal and professional worlds were intricately entwined now weighed heavily on me.

"It's also a good idea not to tell the rest of his family yet. The fewer people who know, the safer it will be for you," he advised as he walked me to the door. Nodding in acknowledgment, I left to return to Rafe.

Making my way back upstairs to Rafe’s room, I noticed Ward and Brady engaged in conversation in the office. It seemed like Brady was briefing him on the slight changes to the security. Entering Rafe’s room, I found him engrossed in his phone. He looked up as the door opened, coming over to greet me with a kiss on the forehead. “Hey, how did it go today?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me in a warm hug.

"Better than I expected. He said the company would be very accommodating through the pregnancy because this isn’t the first time this has happened," I shared, observing his reaction. "What? That’s weird. What happens now?" he questioned, guiding me to sit down on the bed.

"My boss said that you will have another official bodyguard who just watches the outside, and I will continue to watch out for you, so it doesn’t seem suspicious," I explained, tossing my stuff onto the bed.

"Who’s the guy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "His name's Brady. I knew him from the academy; he's kind of a dick, but really good at this job, unfortunately."

Rafe's expression shifted, a mix of curiosity and concern evident on his face. "Brady, huh? Well, as long as he does his job, I guess it's alright. Just keep an eye on him, Y/n. I don't need someone shadowing me who might cause problems."

I reassured him with a nod, understanding the underlying worry. "I'll make sure everything runs smoothly, Rafe. We've got this," I said, offering a small smile. 

—

It’s been 3 months since I told the most important people that I was pregnant and Rafe had made plans to go to the main land for our date night, we drove together in my Maserati all the way into Charleston. As we cruised down the scenic roads towards Charleston, the anticipation in the air was palpable. Rafe had orchestrated this special date night to celebrate the news of our impending parenthood. 

The rhythmic hum of the engine beneath us seemed to echo the excitement building between us.

The city lights of Charleston glittered in the distance, casting a warm glow over the night. It was hard to believe three months had passed since I shared the news with the most important people in my life. The journey towards parenthood had brought us even closer, and tonight was a symbolic nod to the new chapter awaiting us.

Rafe's thoughtful planning extended beyond the mere destination. As we strolled through the historic streets of Charleston, the soft ambiance of the city enveloped us. The evening breeze carried a sense of serenity, and the quaint charm of the surroundings added a touch of magic to the moment.

We dined at a cozy restaurant with dim lighting and an intimate atmosphere. 

The conversation flowed effortlessly, weaving between the excitement of impending parenthood and the nostalgia of our journey together. Rafe's gaze held a depth of emotion, mirroring the commitment we shared.

After dinner, we found ourselves on the waterfront, where the moon's reflection danced upon the gently rippling waves. My back was pressed against Rafe’s chest and his arms enveloped me, placing his hands on my small baby bump. As we were enjoying our moment together I felt my phone vibrate, I checked to see who it was. 

*Unknown Number*

“I know your secret Y/n and I know who the baby daddy is.” “Watch your back bitch”

My eyes lit up with concern, I turned my focus around to see Rafe’s, he was already fuming. Rafe's gaze met mine, and without exchanging words, we communicated a silent understanding. “I think we should go to the agency so we can track the number.” I say and he nods.

He stands up behind, bringing his hands out so I can grab on to them. He helps me up and wraps an arm around my lower back helping me walk on the sand. As we are driving, I feel this stabbing pain shoot through my chest, an unexpected intrusion that mirrors the unsettling revelation and threat that linger in the air. The physical discomfort intensifies with each passing moment, as if my body is betraying me, echoing the turmoil within.

My hand instinctively clutches my abdomen, as if to protect the life growing within me from the external storm that has suddenly erupted. The rhythmic hum of the car engine becomes an unsettling backdrop to the internal chaos, and my gaze remains fixed on the road ahead, searching for a sense of stability in the uncertain darkness.

Rafe notices the shift in my demeanour and turns to me with concern etched across his face. The lines of worry deepen as he realises the physical toll this revelation is taking on me. "Are you okay, Y/n?" he asks, his voice a comforting anchor in the midst of the emotional tempest.

“Yeah, I’m fine” I lie straight to his face not wanting him to worry, I just needed to get to the agency so we could find out who this was. The ride wasn’t long, but it felt like it took a while. The had subsided a little but I was still there, Rafe helped me out of the car and we both walked in to see my boss. “Y/n what are you and Rafe doing here” he asked mostly looking at Rafe.

“I received a threat” I said showing him the text, he took it from me and plugged my phone in to the computer and started a trace. It took a while, but it finally revealed that it was someone in the town on a burner phone, it couldn’t be tracked anymore, but they had all the data from my phone to keep a search going for anything else to pop up. 

Eventually we made our back home, we were met with Rose and Ward making dinner, “Hey guys, do you want dinner?” He asked “I’m actually pretty tired, I’m might just go up to bed” I said heading upstairs tilting my head to signal Rafe to follow. “I’m not hungry right now, but I might be later” he said following behind. 

I entered his room and settled on the edge of the bed, intending to loosen the laces on my shoes. However, Rafe intervened, insisting, "Let me take care of that for you," as he leaned down to remove my shoes. I reclined further on the bed, letting my head rest on the plush pillows.

He joined me, lying down beside me. Tenderly, he swept my hair behind my ear, his hand finding its way to my baby bump, where he began to trace gentle circles.

“I've been thinking about us,” he said, his voice carrying a sense of contemplation. I turned my head to look at him, curious about what was on his mind.

“About us?” I echoed, wondering where this conversation was headed.

"Yeah," he continued, tracing invisible patterns on my belly. "With everything going on, it's a lot to take in, but it makes me realise how much I want to be with you through all of it.”

A mixture of emotions crossed his face – a blend of sincerity, concern, and perhaps a hint of vulnerability. I reached for his hand on my belly, intertwining our fingers.

“Rafe, we're in this together,” I reassured him. “Whatever happens, we face it together.”

He smiled, a genuine expression that reached his eyes. "I love you, Y/n," he whispered, placing a tender kiss on my temple. I gently hovered over him, my hand resting on his neck, and I leaned in, whispering, "I love you too, Rafe.” Our lips met, and I wrapped my arms around his head, intensifying the kiss. His hands explored my body, and he deftly flipped me onto my back, trailing kisses down my neck.

He gathered my dress, lifting it up, and hooked his fingers into my panties, drawing them down. A low groan escaped him as soon as my bare cunt was in front of him. He spat in his hand and began rubbing circles on my clit, eliciting a slow rise of my hips, but he promptly pressed me down. I peeled off my dress, exposing my breasts. "Not wearing a bra, naughty," he smirked, taking one into his mouth, while his other hand reached up to massage them, his thumb swiping over the bud.

My fingers skilfully unbuttoned his shirt and belt; he released my breast with a pop. Standing up, he stripped down, and I reached out to grab his length. "This is about you tonight," he said, gently lowering me back onto the bed. "In that case, I want you to go slow and deep," I said, gripping his forearms and wrapping them around me.

"Ok, baby," he responded, aligning his cock and slowly pushing through my folds. The sensation of him stretching me out felt amazing; he was completely in before he began rocking his hips, slow and steady. Leaning down, he kissed me, balancing on his forearms to avoid putting all his weight on me. I could feel his tip touching my cervix, the warmth making it easier for him to glide in and out. The knot inside me tightened as I started to let go.

“Gonna cum,” I panted out. "Me too, baby," he replied, spilling his seed as I followed suit. He continued to thrust into me to prolong the high. “Ahhh, fuck,” I yelled, digging my nails into his biceps. Rafe stopped his movements, concern etching his face. “Hey, did I hurt you? Are you okay?” he questioned, pulling out and examining my face.

“No, you didn’t do anything. It’s the baby; it's...” Rafe cut me off, his face filled with concern, “Is the baby okay? Are you okay?” “Rafe, I'm fine, the baby is fine too. It just... I felt it kick, a very painful kick. I don’t think it liked you knocking on their door,” I laughed a little, making him laugh too.

I grabbed his hand and placed it over my belly; it kicked again. “Feel that?” I said, and he nodded. As we lay there, Rafe spoke softly. "You know, seeing you like this, carrying our child, it's a feeling I can't put into words." His eyes reflected a deep sense of connection and tenderness. "I can't wait to meet our little one," he added, placing a delicate kiss on my forehead. 

----

The following morning, I awoke in the comforting embrace of Rafe, who was still peacefully asleep. Deciding not to disturb him, I quietly made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. As the warm water cascaded down, I was momentarily lost in my thoughts until the abrupt ringing of my phone jolted me back to reality. It was a call and text from my boss:

Morning Y/n, I need you to come into the office right away, don’t bring Rafe I don’t want him to worry. It’s about the guy you killed a few weeks ago.

I quickly got dressed and headed out of the bathroom, I wrote a note to Rafe and left it on top of his phone:

Hey,  My boss texted and asked me to come and go over some stuff, I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful. I’ll be back soon, love you Rafe.  P.S I told Brady where I was going, so he will be watching you while I’m Gone.  xx Y/n

Seated at my boss's desk, I demanded answers, "What's going on? Has something happened?" My boss appeared puzzled, "Y/n, I didn't think you were coming in today." I was adamant, "What are you talking about? You asked me to come in." I retrieved my phone, showing him the text.

"I didn't send that message," he replied with a grave tone. I was incredulous, "What do you mean you didn't send it? If you didn't, then who did—"

I abruptly stopped myself, the realisation sinking in. "It's them, isn't it? The guy I took care of a few weeks ago, the people on the phone who saw me. They're not finished with us." The gravity of the situation hung in the air as my boss and I exchanged a sobering look, acknowledging the looming threat that had resurfaced.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "It's a possibility. We intercepted some chatter indicating that there might be retaliation. We're taking this seriously, and I've called in additional agents to bolster security. However, we need you to be extra vigilant. No more solo missions for now."

I nodded, the gravity of the situation sinking in. "What's the plan, then?"

"We're investigating the network he was a part of, trying to get ahead of any threats. In the meantime, keep a low profile.” My boss leaned forward, concern etched on his face. "I've sent my assistant to the communications department to get a trace on the number.

She should be back any moment, and we can finally figure out who it is." The urgency in his voice mirrored the gravity of the situation. As we awaited the results, the tension in the room seemed to thicken. 

The doors were pushed open with force, and the boss's assistant entered the room, holding a piece of paper. She handed it to my boss, who looked up at me, his expression grave. He stood from his chair, instructing, "Chelsea, get everyone geared up and ready to go in 10 minutes. It's a code black."

She hurried out of the room, and I turned to my boss, urgency in my voice. "A code black? Who is it?" I questioned. "I'll tell you on the way, Y/n. Let's go," he said, walking past me. "Where are we going?" I asked, trying to keep up with his brisk pace. "Tanny Hill!" he replied. The urgency in his movements and the mention of Tanny Hill hinted at the severity of the situation, leaving me with a mix of anticipation and trepidation.

=====

RAFES POV

I wake to find Y/n gone. I grab my phone and see the note she left behind. Walking into the bathroom to clean myself up, I hear a knock at the door. "Just a second," I pull on some clothes and open my door. Brady is standing there, pushing past me into the room. "Hey mate, did you get Y/n’s note?" he asks, still standing by the door. "Umm, yeah, I did. Can I help you with something?" I question. "Yeah, I’m here to talk to you about Y/n," he says, a smirk painted across his face. "What about Y/n? Is she okay?" I ask, stepping forward a little, concern evident in my voice.

Brady leans against the wall, crossing his arms casually. "Relax, she's fine. Just had to run into the office for some last-minute business. Boss's orders," he says, his tone giving away little. I can't help but feel a sense of unease.

"Last-minute business? What's going on?" I press, my worry intensifying. Brady hesitates for a moment before deciding to share more. "Can't go into details, mate, but there's something going on, and your girl is right in the middle of it," he states, his expression serious.

My mind races with possibilities, each one more concerning than the last. "What do you mean, 'in the middle of it'? Is she in danger?" I demand, my fists clenching involuntarily.

Brady's revelation hits me like a freight train, leaving me momentarily speechless. The room feels charged with tension as he takes a step closer, emphasising the gravity of his words.

"You see, a few weeks ago, when you guys killed that guy, well, more so Y/n, the guy you killed was my brother. And in order to get revenge, you have to be the bait. But it had to be done without Y/n in the house first, so I could talk to you and get you to do what I need you to do," he explains, his gaze fixed on mine.

The weight of his words settles in, and I'm torn between anger, confusion, and concern for Y/n. "What do you need me to do?" I manage to choke out, my fists clenched at my sides.

Brady takes a deep breath, gauging my reaction. “I need you to tell your dad that you need money, because you have gotten yourself into a situation that resulted in you getting Y/n pregnant, and then I need you to hand over the money” he said smirking at himself, “I won’t do that” he says getting ready to punch him, “I thought you might say that, that's why I hired some help”, I turn around and was immediately hit to the head with a bat. 

--

I struggle to focus as my vision clears, the throbbing pain in my head intensifying. The surroundings become more apparent—Ward, Rose, and Sarah huddled together, Wheezie on the ground in tears. Brady stands nearby, a cruel smirk etched on his face.

"Look who's finally woken up. He didn't hit you that hard, Rafe. Don't be so dramatic," Brady taunts, his voice dripping with disdain.

My hands are bound, and I attempt to assess the situation. "What the hell is this? Why are you doing this?" I growl, my words strained.

Brady leans in, relishing my disorientation. "You didn't think we'd let you refuse, did you? This is the price you pay for meddling in our affairs. Now, you'll lead them right into our trap, or your precious Y/n will suffer the consequences."

A surge of anger courses through me, but the throbbing pain in my head forces me to reassess my options. As I try to gather my thoughts, Brady smirks again, savouring the chaos he's orchestrated.

====

"Okay, we're on the move. Please tell me who it is?" I ask in desperation, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination.

"It's Brady, Y/n. The guy you killed— he's his brother. He's after you and anyone you care about," my boss responds, his voice heavy with concern.

The weight of the revelation hits me like a ton of bricks. Brady's vendetta is not just about revenge; it's personal, entangling those closest to me in a dangerous web of consequences. The urgency to protect Rafe and his family. "What's the plan?" I inquire, my mind racing to find a solution.

"We're heading to Tanny Hill. It seems to be their base of operations. The sooner we get there, the better chance we have of diffusing the situation and safeguarding Rafe,” my boss explains as we rush towards the destination.

We arrive just outside the fence at Tanny Hill. My boss instructs the others to stake the house out and wait for my signal. Eager to join the action, I go to jump out, but my boss stops me.

"Where do you think you're going? You're off duty," he says, firmly closing the door back in my face.

"I'm coming. Rafe's in danger," I protest, refusing to back down.

"That's exactly why I can't let you. They want you and that baby, and they'll do anything to get them. You're staying here. If things turn bad, I'll need you for backup," he explains, donning his protective gear. I reluctantly nod in acknowledgment, realizing the importance of this strategic decision. I watch intently as the body-cams capture the team's movements, ready to assist if needed.

Despite my boss's order to stay put, anxiety courses through me as I monitor the situation from the vehicle. The gravity of the threat against Rafe and our unborn child fuels a mixture of fear and determination within me.

Minutes feel like hours as I witness the tactical approach of my team. Every nerve in my body is on edge, and I can't shake the feeling that I should be there, standing by Rafe's side. I debate whether to argue my case again when a sudden commotion erupts on the body-cams. Shouts and rapid footsteps fill the audio feed, and my heart skips a beat. Instinctively, I reach for the door handle, ready to defy orders. The urgency intensifies as I watch the live footage unfold, desperate for any glimpse of Rafe's safety. 

Armed and ready, I step out of the van, my senses heightened by the gravity of the situation. The chilling realisation that Rafe, his family, and now my boss are in immediate danger fuels my determination. I quickly check my equipment, ensuring everything is secure and ready for action.

The hum of the earbud in my ear connects me to the ongoing situation inside. I carefully approach the entrance of Tanny Hill, eyes darting between the shadows and corners. The urgency to act intensifies as I witness the unfolding events through the live audio feed.

With each step, I remain vigilant, the weight of the assault rifle in my hands a stark reminder of the responsibility I carry. I communicate discreetly with the team back at the agency, relaying critical information and coordinating backup. The urgency in my voice echoes the dire circumstances as I press for a swift response.

As I inch closer to the building, every sense is on high alert. The pulse of adrenaline mingles with a steely focus as I prepare to confront the unknown threat inside. The fate of Rafe, his family, and the safety of my boss hang in the balance, propelling me forward into the heart of the danger that has enveloped Tanny Hill.

Sneaking around the side of the house, I hear talking through the window of Wards office, “Where is she?” Brady yells at my boss, “Where is that slut?” “I told her to wait back at the agency,”

My heart pounds with a mixture of gratitude and guilt as I hear my boss's protective lie. The bond of loyalty, even in the face of danger, strikes a chord within me. Brady's enraged voice pierces through the night, echoing his desperate search for me.

The shadows conceal me as I continue to move silently along the perimeter. The urgency of the situation intensifies, and I strain to catch every word exchanged in the office. My focus narrows on the unfolding drama, a high-stakes chess game where every move could mean the difference between safety and peril.

As I reach a vantage point near the window, the gravity of the situation becomes more apparent. Rafe and his family are at the mercy of Brady, a man fuelled by vengeance for his brother's death. The stakes are higher than ever, and my role in this dangerous game is clear.

My hand instinctively tightens around the grip of the assault rifle, a silent promise to myself and those I care about. The decision to intervene looms, each passing second amplifying the urgency. I brace myself for the impending confrontation, knowing that the next moves I make will shape the outcome for everyone involved.

Brady grabs Rafe by the shoulders and pushes him through the door, he then grabs ward too and takes them to a different room, he leaves the others in the room by themselves. I take the opportunity to open the office window and jump in to where they were “Hey, are you guys okay” I whisper, checking them for any injuries “No, were fine. What are you doing here? Is that a gun?” Rose asks, her voice filled with fear.

"Yes, it's for protection," I reply in hushed tones. "Brady is after me, and I can't let anything happen to your family.” “I need to get you all out of here safely," I continue, my mind racing to formulate a plan. The muffled sounds of commotion from the adjacent room remind me of the imminent threat we're up against.

Rose interjects, her voice stern but grateful, "We appreciate your concern, Y/n, but we can't just leave. We need to confront Brady and resolve this once and for all." I nod, acknowledging the gravity of the situation. “I know but in order to do that I need to get you to safety, I'll do everything I can to get Ward and Rafe out too.” 

“I know you will Y/n, I know you love Rafe” Rose smiles and I smile back. “Okay let’s go!” I whisper yell. I jump out the window and help them out too, I keep them close to me at all times as we slowly make our way back to the van.

As we near the back door, we hear raised voices. Brady's harsh tones echo, and my grip tightens on the pistol. I motion for everyone to halt, and we press against the wall, eavesdropping on the conversation.

"I need that money, Ward! You don't understand what's at stake here," Brady's voice seethes with desperation.

Ward, firm in his resolve, retorts, "I won't be manipulated by your threats. You're not getting a single cent." While Brady continues to yell I tell the others to run over to the van and get in. I wait until they are inside to slip inside the back door and hid behind the lounge.

Brady grabs rafe by neck and holds a gun to his head, “Send the money ward or your son dies, you son who is about to become a father with the girl you hired to protect him.” He yells and I see Wards face drop in shock, Rafe tries to get out of his hold, but his his hands tried behind, its no use.

I crawl behind the couch and have my gun ready with safety off. “Fine Ward, you just killed your son” he shouts. “Wait” he yells, Brady is distracted for a moment as I jump up, “DROP IT” I shout at Brady.

My finger hovers over the trigger, the room tense with the gravity of the situation. Brady, startled by my sudden appearance, hesitates for a split second. The standoff feels like an eternity.

"Drop the gun, Brady!" I command, my voice steady but laced with urgency. Rafe seizes the opportunity to struggle against Brady's grip, his eyes pleading with me. Ward, visibly distressed, clutches his desk for support.

Brady, a smirk playing on his lips, slowly lowers the gun. "You always were the hero, Y/n," he sneers. His grip on Rafe tightens, but the fear in his eyes betrays the facade of confidence.

"Let him go, Brady. This doesn't have to end in bloodshed," I urge, my focus unwavering. I inch closer, ready to intervene if the situation takes a turn for the worse.

Brady, sensing the growing tension, glares at me. "You think I won't do it?" he taunts, his finger twitching on the trigger. 

“You think I won’t? I already put your brother down, don’t make me put you down too.” I say holding my position, he laughs and goes to pull the trigger, but I’m faster, I pull the trigger and a bullet is released hitting him in the neck, he falls back against the wall and too the ground.

I run over to Rafe and hug him tightly, “Are you ok” I ask, cutting his hands free. Rafe, still in shock, nods, his arms wrapping around me. "Yeah, I'm okay. You got here just in time," he says, his voice filled with relief. Ward, wide-eyed, watches as Brady struggles on the floor, blood seeping from his neck.

"Thank you, Y/n," Ward utters, a mix of gratitude and astonishment in his voice. Brady, weakened and defeated, glares at me with malice. "You won't get away with this," he rasps, blood staining his words.

My boss bursts into the room, accompanied by the sound of approaching sirens. "Well, it looks like you've solved the problem, Y/n," he says, assessing the scene. "I had to protect what's mine," I reply, my gaze unwavering.

As the authorities arrive to apprehend Brady, the weight of the situation begins to lift. The ordeal is far from over, but for now, Rafe and his family are safe. Hand in hand, we exit the house, and my supervisor approaches, informing us that our names have become widely known in the news due to a woman single-handedly dismantling a drug operation, basically we were famous and the talk of the town.

He advises us to find a secure location until the situation settles. I propose the safe house typically used by affluent clients during such incidents. He agrees and arranges for a helicopter. The rhythmic thumping of the helicopter blades drowned out the residual chaos as we climbed on board. Rafe and I exchanged a glance, a mix of exhaustion and gratitude in our eyes. The adrenaline rush from the confrontation was now replaced with the reality of being in the public eye.

The chopper ascended, carrying us away from the tumultuous events at Tanny Hill. My boss, seated across from us, explained that the safe house was a discreet haven for clients in such predicaments. It was a temporary refuge, a sanctuary nestled far from prying eyes.

As we approached the safe house, I could see its grandeur from above—an amazing penthouse with view of the city. The helicopter descended, gracefully touching down on the roof of the skyscraper. We disembarked, enveloped by the privacy this refuge promised.

Inside, the opulent interior contrasted sharply with the recent chaos. Rafe and I found a quiet corner, away from the prying eyes of the staff. I wrapped my arms around him, seeking solace in the midst of the storm.

"This will all blow over eventually," I whispered, reassuring him.

6 MONTHS LATER

“Rafe!!” I yell from the lounge, “Rafe come here please,” Rafe runs to me “what’s wrong?” He questions sitting beside me. “I think the baby’s coming.”

Rafe's eyes widened with a mixture of excitement and concern. "Are you sure? What do we need to do?" he asked, taking my hands in his. I winced through a contraction.

"I've been keeping track of the timing. They're getting closer. We need to get to the birthing room.” Rafe's face shifted to urgency, and he helped me to my feet. "Let's go, we don't have time to waste." All of a sudden my water broke and the pain started to rear up. 

He guided me gently toward the bedroom door, a blend of nervousness and anticipation etched on his face. He laid me down on the bed and went to call the private medical team to say it was time. 

Upon arriving, the medical staff quickly took over, guiding me through stages. The atmosphere was a mix of nerves and excitement. Rafe stood by my side, offering words of encouragement as the medical team prepared for the imminent arrival of our baby.

As the contractions intensified, the pain became more pronounced. The medical team coached me through each stage of labor, providing support and reassurance. Rafe held my hand, his unwavering presence a source of comfort in the midst of the intensity.

The hours seemed to blur as the labor progressed. The room echoed with a mix of my determined breaths and the soothing guidance of the medical professionals. Rafe, having attended birthing classes with me at home, was actively involved, offering massages and words of encouragement.

When it was time to push, the room buzzed with an elevated energy. The medical team rallied around, their expertise guiding us through the final stage of labor. Rafe stood at my side, ready to welcome our little one into the world.

"You're doing great, baby; keep it up," Rafe reassured me. "Oh my God, I can't, Rafe, something's not right." The doctors applied ultrasound gel to my belly and discovered that the baby was in an incorrect position.

"Y/n, honey, are you still with me?" I nod weakly, already fatigued from the labor, and nothing has progressed. "The baby isn't in the right spot, so we need to reposition it. This doctor here will adjust it inside you. It might hurt for a few seconds, but then we can resume pushing." The nurse said. “Ok.” I squeezed rafe’s hand as the doctor began turning the baby inside me, it hurt like hell, but eventually it popped into place. 

With each push, the anticipation heightened. Rafe's supportive presence never wavered, and the medical team worked seamlessly to ensure a safe delivery.

The culmination of months of preparation and emotional anticipation reached its peak as our baby entered the world, filling the room with a cry that echoed the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

“Congratulations you have a baby girl” In that moment, as we held our newborn, exhaustion mixed with overwhelming joy. Rafe and I exchanged a glance, silently acknowledging the profound journey we had just undertaken together, welcoming our child into the world surrounded by love, support, and the dedicated care of the medical team.

“Do you guy have a name for your baby girl yet?” She asked, “Yes we do!”

“This is Valerie Camille Cameron”

PART 2

🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲🛡️🚨🤱🔫🤰❤️📲

[lunapwrites]

having a bit of a bad brainspace weekend.

i am intensely uncomfortable and unable to do things for myself that i normally could do and this is my not-so-friendly reminder that despite the sometimes crippling ADHD and the fact that my GI issues suck i am, in fact, mostly usually quite able-bodied. i am used to things i am not physically able to do being more in the realm of "touching my toes" due to my intense lack of flexibility or "lift my partner" due to him being 3x my size. I've historically been pretty strong and in good shape for someone that is allergic to the gym, so i was not anticipating adding things like "putting on socks" and "rescuing my sweet idiot dog from the couch he's forgotten how to get off of" to that list.

i made the mistake of asking my partner what it looked like i was struggling with rn because i'm not good at recognizing when i actually need to ask for help vs when i can just power through. this was a poor decision because this means that i received an itemized list of my recent failures. not phrased in a way to be hurtful, just expressing frustration because these were all things that i had previously handled myself with ease and now a) was suddenly not doing, or doing inconsistently, and b) was not indicating i needed help with. and he's not trying to step in on his own and make me feel micromanaged or smothered, because he knows i want to do for myself as much as possible (and also i'd probably bite his head off) and he's 100% correct. and he had to kind of sit me down and be like "you are pushing yourself too hard please stop" and i wanted to shake him and scream that i'm not, that i don't feel like i'm doing enough because i am just a pile of disappointments right now. massive laundry lists of things i need to do and can't because literally if i try it physically hurts me.

anyway i really want to write but the second i sit down i either get distracted with something else or fall asleep or sit there vibrating over the things i should be doing but can't so. there's that. [gazes longingly at several half-written WIP chapters wasting away in the corner] i know where they're all going. i just don't have the gas to get us there. and i hate that. especially because i have this intense fear of not having time for writing at all once Bean is here.

idk. everything sucks rn and i hate it here and i don't wish this on anyone. next person who tells me this is a wonderful miracle and that i should feel so blessed is getting a shoe thrown at them. "best thing you've ever done" fuck you. i know what i did and why, but i also knew it was going to suck ass at least 90% of the time. it was, i thought, an informed decision. i either underestimated the level of disability i would be experiencing or overestimated my ability to cope with it. like it's fine it's temporary i will get through it but jesus fucking christ this is rotten work. and not in a "not if it's you" or an "especially if it's you" sort of way, but more of a "despite" situation. i adore this kid so much already but i also want to be able to stand up for more than 5 consecutive minutes without feeling like i might die. i want to be able to have a conversation without immediately being out of breath. and even all of that i feel terrible venting about because in terms of symptoms i am getting off SO FUCKING EASY. it could have been way worse. and i'm bitching about it this hard. bitching about what???

anyway. so begins the final countdown. with me crying hysterically over a bag of fuckin pastries i left on the counter and feeling lower than i think i've felt since '09, which ain't a great feeling.

[deep breath.] everything will be fine. it just sucks right now. and also i really hate writing thank you cards.

[the0ldmann]

My brain refused to let me sleep for a whole goshdarn HOUR last night because it *really* wanted me to write this.

So I've spent the whole day off-n-on working on this. I tried to follow through with showing his more manipulative yandere side, but idk if I actually did all that well at it...

Enjoy this late-night sleepytime brain worm anyway! ^w^

-----

"Sunshine, I need you. To quit. Squirming." Jack spoke through grunts as he tried to wrestle their phone from them. His Sunspot was being very uncooperative and he just needed them to stop and listen.

"I know you want to listen, love. Please, just stop struggling and hand me the phone. I wouldn't be able to hold you down right now if you didn't really want me to take it from you. So please Sunshine, just hand-"

Their pouty face hurt his heart to see as he succeeded, but it was for the best he reminded himself.

"There we go!" He sighed. Letting go of them, he motioned for them to stay where they were as he proceed to get up and hide that little black object.

If it wasn't necessary for their work, he'd just break the stupid thing. One less distraction away from him. One less way for others to try and take them away...

"I know you're not happy about this, I know. But we need to talk. One on one- no distractions and no interruptions."

"I could have just turned it off."

"And no temptations." He stressed temptations as he sat down beside them on the couch. They sat up, rolling their eyes and crossing their arms.

"Alright," they said with a huff. "What is it that's so important you had to take my phone away?"

"You of course, and the fact that you," he put a hand on one of their arms before he continued, "have not been taking proper care of yourself!"

"Oh, pfft, is that all?"

Jack looked mildly frustrated.

"Must I make it clearer how serious I am?"

"Look, Jack, I know how you worry about me a lot, but I'm fine. Really!" They tried to pass off the slight cough that cut them off as intentional throat clearing.

"You've been overworking yourself to the point of making yourself sick, you hardly eat or sleep, and you only recently got over the cold a coworker gave you!"

"I never caught that cold-" A more noticeable coughing fit cut them off and Jack looked wholly unconvinced.

"My point exactly. If you keep going like you have been this past month, you're going to burn out and potentially have an accident. I can't sit idly by and watch you hurt yourself like this!"

Silence was all that met him as they looked away. He could tell they were starting to face the music- the fact that he is right.

"W-well, okay, maybe you are right. I haven't been able to spend much time with you lately either. But what am I supposed to do? The bills won't pay themselves..."

"First off, you've got more money than you think. Secondly, if you're willing, we can make a budget. I'll even help you stick to it."

"Helping me stick to things is one thing you are pretty good at."

"See? Look, you don't have to figure this stuff out alone. I know you stress about money a lot, but at least let me try to help you. It's the least I can do since I can't make money myself, yeah?"

They nodded. Accepting help from him in the form of housework, companionship, and daily reminders had been okay and quite natural to do even. What's one more thing? He was willingly offering to help them budget- something they weren't good at not freaking themselves out about. Jack's help could be the difference they needed in getting their finances- and their work life balance- under control.

"Yeah, I... I think I would like help with that, actually."

"Thank you for trusting me, Sunshine. I promise you, we're going to figure this out. Together. However the budget making can wait until tomorrow."

They quirked an eyebrow up at his words.

"Tomorrow? What are we doing now then? It's still only eleven in the morning. Am I getting my phone back?"

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at their confusion.

"Oh no, we're not doing anything today beyond making sure you get rest. Playing on your phone is not rest, so you'll be getting that back tomorrow."

"But-"

"No but about it! Besides, maybe I'd like to take care of you. Bundle you up in a blanket with a piping hot bowl of soup. Spend that time talking with you..."

They couldn't lie, that did sound nice. It'd been so long since they last got sick, it'd been awhile since they let anyone just take over for them.

"Can I make one request?"

"Is it about the phone?"

"Nope."

"Then go ahead!"

Something told them Jack wouldn't mind, but they still felt a little embarrassed asking anyway.

"Instead of a blanket, can I... can I wear your jacket?"

Jack smiled and ruffled their hair. He shrugged off the jacket and placed it around their shoulders.

"You look so cute in it Sunshine... Now sit tight and let me go get you that soup!"

[treasureyourfire]

Tarot in the shadow of Anxiety

-Long Vent post-

(English is not my mother language, sorry for the mistakes.)

I am currently in such a state that my faith in myself and in the Tarot has been greatly shaken.

If anyone else has experienced something similar, I'd appreciate some advice.

Anxiety and panic make it difficult to read -especially- to myself. I've always struggled with self-confidence, I can't fully trust my intuition either, it's hard for me to hear it. I try to meditate daily (but yeah, there are small or large breaks), try to connect to the right channel with breathing techniques and self-calming before reading, but there are situations when it's very difficult for me to find and maintain my inner peace. I get thrown off balance easily. I've been fine in recent months, although in general I get a milder anxiety when I sit down to read tarot, which I overcome sometimes quickly, sometimes more slowly. I think this originates from lack of self-confidence and maximalism, perfectionism.

However, recently I had a day where I went into overdrive, when I couldn't keep my patience and sanity.

I have been harassed in nearly a week by a hidden phone number that I did not answer. I usually don't answer if it's encrypted or if a displayed number isn't in my contact list.

I asked cards for it and interesting things came out of the caller, what kind of person it might be.

Since when I've started practice tarot, this was my first YES or NO question :

Do I know the person personally?

I got the Five of Swords, which I took as a definite NO, so I didn't deal with it any further.

Then, early in the morning on Monday this week (March 25, 2024), my phone vibrated again, twice in a row, this time with an actual phone number. On the first call, it "rang" persistently and for a long time, the second call was shorter, lasted about half a minute. It wasn't in my phonebook and I wasn't expecting a call from anywhere or anyone, I didn't make new acquaintances recently, so I didn't pick it up either.

But an avalanche of catastrophizing started in me... Could it be a doctor? Ambulance? Police? (I had reason to assume these possibilities due to certain events in my life.)

I didn't dare to call it back for several reasons.

I asked a card.

Why did this number call me?

Ten of Swords

I immediately panicked, especially after looking up the general meaning of the card. I feared the worst.

I asked another YES or NO question;

Should I call it back?

Strenght in Reverse

I took it as a NO.

This was where I first panicked and I was unable to ask the cards for clarification.

After I stopped asking, it was interesting that for some reason I always wanted to say or thought of Nine of Swords instead of Ten of Swords... I wondered what if that meant that my own negative mental state had produced this Ten of Swords and I didn't got the true message.

After making sure everyone is all right in the family, a big stone rolled off my chest. This time, however, I didn't leave it at that and called the helpline with that I might be a victim of telephone harassment and gave them the new number. After the family's and my own private investigation, it turned out that the number, which was not encrypted, was probably a wrong number and was not the same person who had been calling me from the hidden number. We laughed about it.

But next, the guilt and overthinking hit me... Why did I act... I rushed it... I want to stand up for myself "for once", but I still feel guilty, what if I send the police on an innocent person. As long as they deal with the matter... (I am writing this post on Wednesday. The police haven't contacted with me since then, and I expect that (even though it's their job to see about it) they let it go.)

After getting into a "calmer" state of mind, I sat down again that day to ask for clarification.

For the Ten of Swords (Why did this number call me?) I received the following cards;

Six of Pentacles

Seven of Cups

Five of Swords

Queen of Cups (I felt that this card represented me, but even though it was an upright card, in this situation it did not indicate its positive/healthy state.)

I read a negative message from it.

I asked it differently.

What was the caller's intention? ;

Ten of Pentacles

Four of Cups

This was where the complete confusion finally came.

This sentence comes out of my mouth many times during some readings; "I wish I hadn't asked."

I felt that the first and second half of the message were completely opposite to each other. First I thought of negative intention, then positive intention. Of course, I don't know the other side, and it seems I won't know what the caller's true motivation was.

Maybe the cards were showing my own confusion? That I thought of several possibilities regarding the case?

I haven't known the meaning of each card comprehensively, so it's difficult for me to interpret and read them together, especially when several cards pop out at the same time (I prefer to work with pop-out cards rather than drawing), and I know that negative emotions and thoughts can take me in the wrong direction, no matter how hard I try to ground myself.

Maybe I wanted to analyze a too complicated case (or I made it too complicated for myself) with too many cards and questions, because in the end it all felt like a big, self-contradictory mess. I tortured myself emotionally too much. I had enough and didn't want to continue to force myself to calm down, and to translate the messages more deeply and soberly.

Last I asked advice:

What to do next to make it the best for both sides:

The Magician

This was the point, when I had finally had enough for the day. For me, the Magician seemed to "scream": "Create, act!" And I was just... What should I do? Should I call the helpline again to ask to forget my call from earlier? Should I worsen the situation or my own mental well-being? No! It was enough! I just wanted to run away and break away.

My second intuition was that the Magician indicated that I should continue to deal with my own things (this card has shown itself to me many times in the nearly past), to look at the big picture, my whole life, not just this one day, as it was the only Major Arcana in the reading. However, I wouldn't consider The Magician as a "Let it go and move on" card. Or do I should?

In hindsight, under action and creation it might be referring to bringing my thoughts down to earth level, and with this post I just have done that.

In any case, my self-confidence went under the frog's butt after the incident, and maybe I'm even more anxious to take the Tarot in my hands... I'm afraid of new emotional turbulences (I hated them always), of being overwhelmed. Supposedly there is NO such thing as a WRONG READING (but maybe wrong channel), yet I am afraid that I am not doing it right… I am afraid of another meltdown and disappointment. If it turns out that Tarot is not my path either, then I have no idea what it could be...

I'm still very much a beginner, there are pitfalls with this, I shouldn't take it to heart, but it's always been difficult for me.

Do you have any advice for me about this spread?

What would you have read from these cards?

Looking at my situation through the eyes of an outsider, maybe would help me to be more enlightened.

I've tried to research the following topics before to become a better reader, but I'm grateful for any advice you guys can give me. <3

What techniques do you recommend to read card combinations?

Do you have any other tips for dealing with my "tarot-anxiety"?

advice on how to manage my relationship with Tarot,

advice on how to strengthen the connection with my intuition

advice on how to strengthen the connection with my spirit guides?

When does the mind (knowledge or ego) speak and when does intuition speak?

If you're still here and read all the way through, thank you very much!

We never know what someone has to experience and learn on their own path, there may be low points, but I hope that I will not create more posts with such a desperate and tormented state of mind.

Take care of yourselves. <3