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#and still didn’t decide to help him
yesiknowimshort · 6 months
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as someone who was born into east orthodox, baptised anglican, did 13 years of catholic school and still ended up without faith in christ, i would LOVE to have a conversation with jason, who was brutally tortured and murdered, and still holds his faith
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angelnumber27 · 4 months
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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cicadasketch · 2 years
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Here’s a bunch of silly messy little sketches for the mungrove peeps
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taylorrepdetective · 10 months
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Since you like to say you’re always right, tell us what is next. You say you don’t make predictions, but you actually do, even if you don’t call them that.
Ok so I’m absolutely not always right. There have been some really big things I’ve been wrong about and a lot of small things too. And what I learned from that is to keep an open mind, and when I’m wrong about something, to figure out why I got it wrong and shift my world view in some ways to try to understand and guess better the next time. But it’s not even really about being able to guess. It’s about understanding when things happen. It is fun to be right on a guess though, when that happens.
The biggest thing I’ve learned, and luckily I learned it pretty early on in my time in this space, is that trying to figure out the timing something big will happen is absolutely a fools errand. And another thing to avoid is trying to come up with the exact, specific way Taylor (or others in her cinematic universe) will do something to get a point across. Like I can predict she will try to get a point across (set up a timeline, create a narrative, shore up a brand point) but I cannot predict exactly how or when she’ll do it. I also can predict she’ll set something up but then she never does. That’s because I think of lots of options. Some happen, some don’t. So this is the kind of thing I’m often wrong about. But I see them and always try to present them as options, not predictions. And if one of the options I think of happens, I have already spent time thinking about it, so it already makes sense to me.
I don’t know what’s next. She could drop TS11 at midnight. She could break up with Travis tomorrow, or announce her engagement next week. But I do not think any of those things is likely.
So here’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to me making a specific, timed prediction, because to me it seems quite clear:
What I do think is likely is that her jet will go to KC, ✅she’ll go to the game on Sunday✅, and her jet will then leave KC sometime between next Tuesday✅ and next Thursday. Why? Because it’s a home game, and she likes to go to home games and get the exposure and publicity that comes with that. She is working really hard at becoming an icon in KC, seem like her relationship is very serious for those who want to believe it’s serious, and she wants to shore up that relationship by spending time with him, his family, and his friends (also KC icons - the Mahomes mostly.)✅ All of this is so important to the story she’s creating. However, she won’t stay long ✅because that’s been her pattern. She also seems to be establishing that she also has her own busy, fabulous life✅ (she’s bejeweled and he lets her be✅) and when he’s busy with his football week (generally Tuesday-Sunday) he doesn’t have much time for her and she has her own life.✅This gives her the opposite option of the relationship being very serious. In other words it gives her an easy out for it to end. And Wednesday is her birthday. So she’ll either stay till Tuesday ✅and we’ll see or hear about birthday celebrations Sunday night/Monday, ✅then she’ll head out for further birthday celebrations with her other friends and family✅, or her jet will stay through her birthday, solidifying the seriousness of the relationship. But she will leave KC.✅ And then she’ll probably go to the game on Dec 17 in Boston✅. Why? Because it is a short hop from NYC, she has a huge fanbase there✅ and can expand it and shore it up, the patriots are bad so a win is likely✅, but they are a very popular team, so viewership (publicity) will be high✅. After that? Well she’s likely to spend more time in NYC✅/Nashville. Then she will probably go to the Christmas Day game in KC✅. This is a huge opportunity to “take the relationship to the next level” by spending the holidays together ✅, something the public absolutely loves to see and will further fuel the “engaged by the end of the year, after the Super Bowl at the latest” fire. Hopefully we’ll get something reputation-related for new years❌, so the extra publicity will help with that. Additionally all of this corresponds with the Eras film being released to streaming, another huge money making opportunity for her, and her attendance is an ad for the film.
After the new year, there will be some huge games with high viewership. They will be playing for playoff seeding. Then they almost assuredly will be in the playoffs✅. She will go to those games✅, which have even higher viewership, and will give her more free marketing for reputation and eras movie and anything else we don’t know about. After that, it will depend on how deep they go into the playoffs. They are no longer favored to be in the Super Bowl, but it is still a strong possibility✅. We all now know she can fly across the world after a concert to attend an event (she flew to the US during her time in SA, planned to a second time but couldn’t because of the events in Rio, and flew to London for 24 hrs for bey). The precedent has been set for her to fly from Tokyo to Las Vegas for the Super Bowl. ✅There is no bigger stage than the Super Bowl (outside of the World Cup final, if you’re thinking internationally.) The free marketing potential there is something that would be very hard for her to pass up. And if Travis isn’t playing, Jason’s team might be, and they can go together to support him. Imagine the potential of travlor in a suite together with mama and papa kelce cheering on a retiring Jason❌✅ . And even if neither of them are in the game, they could still all go together and stand in a suite as a big happy family in front of an audience of 115 million Americans. Why wouldn’t she do this?✅
Will all that happen for sure? Of course not. But you can see the logic, right? Will there be other things that happen that I haven’t thought of? Most likely.✅ I don’t actually have a crystal ball. What kinds of things could derail this? Well there’s always the possibility of the black swan, but a more likely scenario is they lose again against a team they should beat✅ and/or Travis has another bad game✅. There is a real danger of people turning on her as a distraction ✅and I think they have their fingers on the pulse of this very closely. As long as KC keeps winning, and there’s a good chance they will win the rest of their games, all will be smooth❌✅.
Also I am not even thinking beyond February. I have one interesting thought about it, but it’s just too speculative to even mention here. But as we move through the next two months, I’ll get clues to be able to guess at what will happen after she goes back on tour after the Super Bowl✅. And if I’m wrong about all of this, which I may very well be because she is notoriously unpredictable sometimes, I will simply take it as a learning opportunity to understand her better.✅
#I’m editing the tags as time goes on to note what I got right and how and adding checks and can writhing the post#People mag confirmed they celebrated her bday Monday in KC and he’s busy and she’s busy and she will have a party w/o him in nyc#and were sure to mentioned he is focused on football#and he’s gotten some criticism for dropping passes and that flop#he had a bad game vs patriots and hasn’t had a good game in weeks#she’s still doing fine other than the Mahomes continuing ick#Travis essentially confirmed she went to Gillette. decide of her strong fanbase. bad team means cheap tix for swifties to take over#don’t know for sure but looks like she wants everyone to think she’s in KC for the week#a big football analyst tweeted she’s a distraction after the Christmas loss#they didn’t win the rest of their games and they struggled at the end of the season there and Travis struggled but#he miraculously hit his act together in time to help lead his team to the Super Bowl cementing his place as the elite TE and saved the day#and happiness is everywhere because the goal (SB and adorable power couple of the year) was met#next Grammys and Super Bowl for her and him going to shows in Australia I’m guessing#got the kelce family plus Taylor importance right but didn’t mention the possibility of Jason not in SB but in suite with tay.#obvious but sonce I didn mt mention it I gave myself a partial green check#one thing I didn’t know was about TTPD instead of a new re-recording#we already got our People article that he is looking forward to joining her on tour in Europe
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fujii-draws · 3 months
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hey fujii do you wanna hear about a silly little thing i thought of earlier. so you know how in red/blue rescue team, eevee used to be in the "naive" category, whereas in explorers of sky, it's in the "jolly" category? it made me think about ribbons, specifically because of how the rescue team personality test describes the naive trait.
in rescue team, the naive type is described to be someone whos highly curious, and someone who likes rare things. their cheerful and carefree make everything fun for the people around them, but they also have the flaw of being childish, never sitting still, and always being on the move. (it also says that they might be selfish but i dont see that applying to ribbons tbh..)
it seems so oddly fitting for ribbons because her personality does show those traits in particular. she's a silly little thing and her bright cheery personality, and she is childish to some extent. and of course, can't forget her curiosity. especially with how curious she got when it came to dusknoir. and of course, we can't forget about the *actual* definition of naive. naivety in the sense of choosing to believe that dusknoir, despite how his aura flared with malice, bared no ill intent. to think that someone who is so great, so wise, so kind and caring could ever be capable of shattering her world apart.. that was naive. because she believed he was what she thought he was, and because it was her naivety that nearly got her and aimilios killed. you'd think she'd have learned from the drowzee incident where two kids displaying trust in a spur-of-the-moment stranger who coincidentally showed them kindness in their misfortune was a mistake, but i suppose that's what being a naive little child does to you.
(anyways im sorry if this sounds incoherent and out of the blue. have a good day)
DONT YOU DARE APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. THE JOLLY AND NAIVE NATURES FIT MY GIRL SO WELL. (Unhinged rant in tags)
#your description for Naive is like a rocket launcher to the chest#THAT… PLUS JOLLY… (Laughing and crying with ease/over-emotional) IS JUST. IT’S HER!! THAT’S MY GIRL!!!#JUST… EVERYTHING ABT THIS. I CANT EVEN ADD ON.#Her naivety being her downfall/falling out with Dusknoir is so heartbreaking#no doubt the times she was happily laying on his neck ruffs; feeling safe and sound— she’d recieve D.Screams that told her the opposite#Telling her to run; to confront him— anything. but she doesn’t. Hell; the girl doesn’t even question him.#(She looks towards Corphish with an annoyed glance when he questions Dusknoir. He did nothing but good for the town. It’s stupid.)#This. plus her past with him in the paralyzed future (although she can’t remember)— expells all doubts in her mind.#She was so relieved watching his float down to the second floor of Wigglytuff’s guild. She wanted to approach him right then and there#And not only that— when they begin to talk to eachother… he isn’t annoyed? he actually humors her? listens to her stupid jokes?#even snarking back whenever she jabbed at him? (Something that made everyone in treasure town look in HORROR.)#only for Dusknoir to reply with a quip of his own? Even when he does get momentarily miffed by her rudeness? he still decides to stay?#Ribbons loved him; to put it lightly. She loved that she finally had someone other than Aimilios.#She loved that he actually stuck around her on his own merit. and didn’t treat her like some pest.#She loved that he didn’t even mind her lack of intellect. sometimes even offering to to slow down and help the dwarf Eeveewith her studies#so at the End of the Day. When he utters those damned six words? before pulling her and Aimilios in?#Her world is shattered. and she resents him for years.#(Insecurity also kicks in; wondering if he was secretly laughing at her jokes and enjoying her company#…we’re all lies. and that he was merely tolerating her. before killing her.)#She killed any and every feeling that told her to distrust the revenant. putting her full faith in Dusknoir#and what did he repay her unyielding trust and naivety with?#a backstab wound. right through her spine and through her chest.
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dutybcrne · 1 year
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Because he was too restless to sleep when he first came to the Dawn Winery, especially alone, Kaeya had tended to spend his nights reciting the Khaenri’ahn language. Every word he knew, every sentence and phrase he could until his eyes finally shut or the early morning marked time for him to start the day. He didn’t want to forget his mother tongue, after all.
Still, even with this, his fluency still took a toll. He can understand Khaenri’ahn well in hearing it and in reading to a lesser extent, but speaking it himself came to be a bit trickier as his usage of Teyvat’s common lang took precedence.
Knowing this leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and and even sharper pang in his heart.
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calico-kiwi · 4 months
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every joel smallishbeans video i become more obsessed with joel smallishbeans
#kiwi shares their thoughts#quickly became my (if i’m being completely honest with myself) favorite hermitcraft pov out of the ones i watch#i’m super glad that this season i decided to try watching multiple povs bc i’m having a grand old time#when i first got into hermitcraft it was like#a side effect of being sucked into the life series#and of course my intro to the life series was a bunch of people i followed being obsessed with grian and scar bc desertduo#so i started watching grian#and so i just watched hermitcraft from his pov#and by that point i think season nine had just started or somethinf#like it was pretty early into the season#but yeah there was just so much previous content#that i only watched grian’s pov bc i wanted to sorta catch up w the new season and watch it as it released#so i just didn’t branch out#but now in season 10#after being acquainted w so many of the hermit members and adjacent ccs that are their friends#i really wanted to try watching other povs#i still have no idea most the time what’s happening anywhere on the map beyond magic mountain and probably the shopping district#because i currently only watch gem grian scar mumbo and joel#which is all of magic mountain minus skizz and impulse#but yeah i’m having fun next season i’m gonna slowly start collecting more povs#probably etho (i see a lot of etho just thru the povs i watch already so might as well just watch his pov)#bdubs (he’s such a silly little guy + he’s usually online at a different time than who i’m already watching)#(so it’ll help expand what other hermits i see in episodes (+ his builds))#maybe iskall (also see a lot of him)#and probably pearl as well and maybe cleo#anyways yeah#i also wanna try starting to go back to watching twitch a lot#i used to watch so much twitch guys#i barely watch livestreams now bc of the fact dropout has completely stolen my brain’s focus#but i wanna pop into more hermit livestreams
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tariah23 · 4 months
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Outside of all of… that happening to Gojo, and finishing Snowfall the other day, eek……..
#I can live with what gege did to Gojo even though it hurts so much bro#but I can’t deal with what happened to Franklin bro that’s one of the worst character endings ever omg my chest….#i meant it in a ‘that’s so fucked up’ way not ‘this is badly written’ because it really does fit his character….. even though witnessing#such a strong and ambitious character turn into……. THAT in the end… bro…………. not Franklin 😭…#his pride left him in ruin… the fact that he actually still had ppl who were willing to stand by his side in the end and help him but he#couldn’t accept it because in his own words ‘I built this shit! and if I wanted to tear it down with my own hands than I will-‘ like he was#so used to being in charge.. the boss… never taking orders from the people who worked for him… and whenever any other character would make#suggestions or decide that they wanted to branch off he’d completely lose his shit because in his mind they’re all stronger together and he#felt like he was losing control of the circumstances that arose and that ‘if only they would’ve listened to ME then everything would’ve#been just fine-‘ and the crazy thing is… Franklin was usually right 😭 like 90% of the time but it’s just he couldn’t communicate with his#friends and peers without blowing up like a demon just because they made their own decisions lmfao#especially without him/his consent lmfaooo he was a control freak for sure#so many awful things wouldn’t have even happened if everyone stuck together and listened but at the same time other characters grew tired#of being underneath him and it was within their right to go do their own thing like I get it#so many things were going to wrong in the end 😭… also teddy is such a bitter bitch bro#the fact that Franklin willingly decided to become…. I can’t even say it…#in the end over receiving what he’d consider a handout is insane…….. living like that? in filth because he’s too prideful to ever work#under anyone ever again even if it’s with a trusted friend… the money really blinded him but I get it#if I had 73 mil stolen from me out of nowhere by a bitter white man just because I told him I didn’t want to do business with him anymore#in the 80’s then I’d lose it too but ong Franklin was too ambitious to end up like this…#he kind of character you’d just watch and instantly think to yourself ‘this guy could go anywhere he wants. he’s no caged bird…’#so it makes his ending even more devastating……..#rambling#if you ever watch snowfall don’t watch the last episode 🥺 please promise me you won’t?
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3
#keese draws#warrior cats oc#spiraling upwards#I’ve posted art of ratstar and pigeonbillow before but the other three I haven’t I think#but yeah these are some more of the minkclan founders#and by that I mean two of them are and one of them was a kitten at the time#lightning is haveniris’ mom but she didn’t trust herself to raise him so her clanmates sort of collectively raised him#and by that I mean mostly pigeon and two other old ppl that aren’t included here#light did end up opening up to him more and acting as more of a mom after he chose to become a medic tho#the two have a complicated relationship for sure but they still care abt each other a lot#oh yeah and literally all of these guys are dead by the time murtle rolls around except for haven#pigeon died about two years before the other two and raincinder has been dead since before minkclan was properly founded#which is unsurprising given she’s such an old withering woman#she mostly made it that long because she was given a guide sponsor life#so long story short not all starclan cats actually get to use the cool starclan powers and those who do are usually ‘sponsored’ with an#extra life and a cool star like marking#this isn’t a well known thing tho and even within starclan only higher ranking cats rly know anything beyond knowing that every now and#then new guides are chosen#now usually what’s supposed to happen is that the sponsored cat has a close eye kept on them and if they are deemed worthy they’re allowed#to keep their mark and become a guide once they die the second time#the main flaw in this system is that the cat who sponsored them has to be the one to revoke it#so if they refuse to revoke it for whatever reason there’s not much that can be done about it#or in raincinder’s case her sponsor ended up fading before they could judge her fully#so even though by all means even the most rebel friendly guides would revoke it easily she managed to keep her mark til death#this was ofc largely helped by her living til 19 fucking years dear god woman#but hey I guess it means minkclan gets a guide even though she’s a rly shitty one#rly that mostly only matters for the sake of nine lives and the sake of travel between starclan and the living territories#which actually does cause a lot of problems when all the guides decide to go haunt a child instead#oh also guides also pass on their mark to leaders who’s life ceremony they hosted#not the guide role tho each guide gets a new mark
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twistpixel · 1 month
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In my mind there does exist a fanfic and it’s a one shot and it has no point beyond like, Bruce is a bad parent to Jason. I think there’s a desire to like force that out and make it clear cut and that leads to things like Bruce being overtly abusive in some fanfics. But I have 0 tolerance for fathers so he’s already overtly abusive enough in canon for me and this between the panels fanfic in my mind is just opening that up and showing it to the reader by making it so obvious it can’t be ignored (but not by Bruce because he can ignore anything).
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rosicheeks · 2 years
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😂
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justaboutsnapped · 1 year
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Since that sports rpf breaking the containment post is making the rounds… does a fencing fandom exist on tumblr I REALLY need to know because every time I search it up here it’s either picturesque houses with wooden fencing or fanart of fence the comic…
I fenced recreationally for about 5 years, and because that was done rather unwillingly, I never actually got into the sport (as in I didn’t watch it whatsoever which is bad I know). However now that I’ll never be the one on the piste again it’s becoming increasingly compelling to me…
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willowfey · 2 years
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ignore this i just wanna ramble in the tags for a sec i’ll probably delete it in a bit 🤪
#did an escape room with the fam on my sister’s birthday two days ago and my brother made me feel stupid the entire time#wouldn’t listen to me wouldn’t share or let me help and then act like i wasn’t helping (??? let me then)#and because he’s Loud my whole family was following his lead and ignoring me#but in the end i was the reason we won bc i was the only one who immediately understood the word riddles AND the one who wrote down#all the numbers he said we wouldn’t need. i was the only one who could connect the past information with the current problem#the only one who listened fully to the cd and decided to write down the locations without it being relevant yet#the only one who thought the tiny details might be relevant and the only one who automatically fixed his mistakes bc i noticed a pattern#and in the end still got no credit for anything (except from my mom) even tho if they had listened to me from the beginning they would’ve#been less stressed and finished sooner#then at the restaurant he didn’t listen to me again and we ordered too much even tho i told him we wouldn’t need it#THEN after dinner my grandma started texting me all frustrated telling me i need to keep my aunt updated on what’s happening thru the day#so she doesn’t feel left out. bc she’s having a rough time lately. bc it’s my job to make everyone feel better#FIRST of all this woman ignored me for years when her ex husband decided i wasn’t worth it#and now suddenly it’s my job to keep u informed on my every move so u don’t feel left out?? text me urself. ask what i’m doing.#ask HOW i’m doing??? do u even care beyond a ‘what colour is your sturdiness today namaste’#every time my aunt complains about the tiniest thing and starts crying about it it my grandma blames everyone else#no one even knows or cares if i’m having a rough time#she came to ‘help’ when my mom was sick and i did everything for her instead. and then she threw a fit when i wouldn’t eat her salad#when i was too exhausted from staying up all night with my mother to go on a run with her the next day#my mom finally got mad at her for implying i’m lazy all the time and told her i’m ‘neurodiverse’ and do things my own way and she didn’t#even know what that meant so my mom was like ‘on the spectrum ‘ and my aunt just got mad that she had never told her#would it have made a difference at all? would u have expected different from me?#meanwhile i’ve done so much for my cousin… including taking care of luca the entire time she stayed with us. i had him all the time#i didn’t mind. i love that kid more than anything. but everyone expects everything from me like it’s just a given#i talked her through every problem every breakdown walked on eggshells to keep her happy and then what does she do when she leaves?#ignores me. doesn’t come back when she said she would. complains that i don’t include her in things#bc sometimes i have quiet conversations with my sister so i don’t bother everyone#and then gg wants to know why i won’t come see her? why i won’t drop everything to fly there? my aunt wants to know why i don’t call?#because despite loving me u have made me feel inadequate my whole life. some of u more than others#and i’m tired. and it’s time for me to Be me For me without justifying it to everyone else.
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seven-thewanderer · 2 years
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okay random thing but I was reading over the lore from this post, and I felt like there was one part that I didn’t really explain well so let me clarify:
the reason Moon was able to see Bonnie get the virus was because it had been some time, and it was time passing of Glitchtrap testing out his virus on endoskeletons (that’s why those things are so scary, like I hated that part of the game), and so at this point, the staff was like “Where’s the Drops” and Vanny (pretending to be Vanessa cus the 2 look alike but are not the same in my AU) was like “Oh yeah they said goodbye & everything so I decommissioned them like we were going to” and the other staff was like “aight then let’s work on the big bois” and made Sun & Moon. After some time of Sun & Moon being around, getting used to the Pizzaplex & the other bots in there, then Glitchtrap tested out the virus on Foxy, and the babeys gave Bonnie the virus, and Moon, who was flying around when it happened was like “I’m sorry what was that? Was that me & Sun but tiny?” But then noticed Bonnie walking off, followed him all the way to Monty Gator Golf, and then witnessed the fight go off. And then decided to try & find where the tiny version of him & Sun went, and then I feel like the rest of it was clear in the previous post
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mycological-mariner · 2 years
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Sometimes I think that I was the weird sibling. And then I remember my little brother forcing us to stop and pick up roadkill so he could take it home, bury it and have all the bugs eat it, dig it up again, clean the bones and articulate them in the shed. He embalmed his pet scorpion. He collected live ‘specimens’ and just kept them in his room. Once he got so excited to see a shark while in the middle of the sea he threw himself/fell over the rail. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to find dead animals in the freezer while he was studying them. And this was all before he was even 11.
All I wanted to be at 11 was a sea captain.
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dutybcrne · 10 months
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Even without his Vision, Kaeya is not wholly helpless.
If there was one thing he could appreciate about his father, it’s that the man raised him with full knowledge of self-defense as a child. He needed to be able to handle himself should they ever be separated, after all. Especially when it came to any Abyssal creatures they might face, or otherwise any hostile people they may encounter.
He knew all the best places to drive in a knife, what tendons to cut, how to best blind an opponent, and creatively so at that. He knew how to set traps and buy himself a precious few seconds more, how to use those said seconds in a fraction of that time. He knew how to use an opponent’s physical strength against them, how to counter someone with a Vision/elemental energy usage as best he could. To not let himself get caught so off guard no matter what, bc the moment that control was wrenched away from him, his disadvantages would be nigh insurmountable.
The man taught him to harness Abyssal energy, using a small fraction of it—no more than that, his father made him promise; never more than the necessary—to make swift little jumps through space, even to facilitate escape or victory, whichever he’d choose. In time, he would have taught him to use the elements through it too, as many Abyssal beings had done, as a particular last resort, but having been left to the Ragnvindrs’ care, he never got the chance.
Though it didn’t stop Kaeya from trying. Not wanting to be left behind after Diluc had gotten his Vision and wanting to be useful to him as his right hand, he tried his best at figuring it all out. Felt it tug at something deep inside him like a tether each time he tried, failing just as many, only managing the all too familiar wisps of Abyssal energy he was more familiar with. It was through encountering an Abyss Mage and coming in contact with the ice it conjured that he finally got a better grasp at what to do.
Only for him to realize each conjure of Abyssal energy-infused ice was nothing short of painful each time, the energy within him thrumming so much amid the curse he already bore as a Khaenri’ahn, so much so, it would frighten and dissuade him from using those abilities anyway. For a short time, at least, until he realized how well it helped in a pinch. Still, he became far more wary. Even with his desperation to try and catch up to Diluc, his father’s warning against abusing the Abyssal energy coursing within him burning brighter in mind with every use. Especially when a Pyro Abyss mage lingering about a domain tried to call his attention after he’d been pushed to use that power.
Nothing good would come out of using such an ability, he’d decided then—keeping to the bare minimum, like his father wanted would be best. He wouldn’t want to be so marked by the Abyss otherwise. Wouldn’t want to increase the risk of his attempts and powers being found out, certainly not by the family that had taken him in.
Is it any wonder he was so horrified to find it was a Cryo Vision that had come to him that fateful night?
#hc; kaeya#//Eh; shit pertaining to my Kae#long post for ts#//After Luc left; he did start using those powers again#//At first; it was more rather self-destructively#//Both in deliberately bc 1) he didn’t wanna even Touch his Vision & still fought as a knight as though he did—luckily having same element#//Even killed Eroch himself after revealing his heritage and power to the man—which he was deffo NOT proud of#//Didn’t realize how bad the abyssal energy would influence his emotional state to a crueler anger and vindictiveness#//As far as anyone knows; an Abyss Mage killed him—Kae bears that secret with Varka alone; tho the man doesn’t know abt the Abyss energy#//As far as Varka knows; Kae accidentally avenged Crepus via a Vision misfire in the midst of confronting the man#//And 2) unconsciously; when he’d end up freezing things when upset even when he’d thrown his Vision across the room#//It scared him a lot; since he wondered if that meant Abyssal beings could locate him easier. And thus risk everyone at the Winery#//But then the real kicker came when he realized the Reverse could be true#//And thus decided he would use his whole connection with Abyssal energy to track them all down & kill em#//Worked beautifully ever since; finding use in that to HELP Mond; not jeopardize his home#//The practicality of it was quite handy#//Up until he started sensing that energy off the Traveler—BUT he let that slide when he realized they didn’t change for the worse#//Plus he trusted them—surely they couldn’t be up to anything BAD. His judge of character isn’t THAT bad!#//Does become a bit wary after meeting Dain with them tho—bc now he worries if they could sense anything off abt HIM#//Idk; might go back and edit but ye. This is canon to my Kae#//One can tell the diff btw his vision made ice and Abyssal energy tainted based on body reactions#//A more pronounced lingering numbness and a /gnawing/ feeling in the wound is typically Abyssal-infused ice#//Appearance wise; if the ice is murkier in color; almost like something darker is inside it…yeah. It’s easier to note with a keener eye#//Or elemental sight—the difference is quite stark through that#//which if brought up; he will either gaslight tf outta them that THEY’RE sick or smth; or attribute it to a previous Abyss mage encounter
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