#and still to this day continues to give me the heebie jeebies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckysgrace · 6 months

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Thirty One

CW: Slight mention of self harm

“You’re up early,” Rosemary observed as she walked inside the living room, “What are you doing?” She looked at him curiously. Billy peered down towards her as he balanced on a step ladder. He wondered how she always looked so ready for the day this early.

“Decorating,” Billy said simply, “They had these out at the store and I thought we could use them.” He replied as he continued to string up the orange lights around the curtain rod. He wasn’t used to decorating like this, but he figured that it was never too late to start.

“I don’t think I’ve ever decorated the inside of the house before for Halloween,” She mused softly as she poured herself a cup of coffee, “It looks nice.” She brought the cup up towards her lips as she observed him.

“You think so?” He asked as he climbed down the step ladder. He looked up at it, resting his hands on his hips as he fell into a deep thought. He had been unable to sleep again, taking a short nap of only two hours. He was sure that he had destroyed every single dust bunny within this house. He still felt like he needed to find something else to clean, to fix. It was driving him insane, so he worked on decorating instead.

“Yeah,” Rosemary grinned, “You should hang this up in our closet when Sam is gone. I bet it’ll give him the heebie jeebies.” She laughed as she looked at one of the skeletons that had an eyeball that popped in and out of the socket. Billy thought about it for a moment as he joined her in the kitchen.

“Is he a wimp like Kim?” He asked curiously, wondering if Kim had unknowingly gained another habit of Sam’s. Rosemary thought about it for a moment as she passed Billy a mug of coffee. He looked down at the liquid, suddenly thinking about the early mornings he’d had with Neil. They weren’t always terrible, at least he didn’t think so.

Not quite that bad,” Rosemary said with a laugh, “I still feel bad about scaring her.” She replied as she pulled a carton of eggs from the fridge. Billy felt his nose curl as he watched her crack two of them into a pan before she put the carton back.

“I think Max traumatized her,” Billy chuckled softly as he thought about the many times Max had jumped out and scared Kim, “She loves that shit.” He nodded his head, thinking about how Max had stolen his previous Halloween mask last Halloween.

“You know,” She told him as she flipped the egg effortlessly in the pan, “My parents thought that Halloween was for devil worshippers.” She said, her tone of humor as she spoke. Billy thought about it for a moment. He thought that he had heard of people thinking that way but had never really understood why.

“Really?” Billy asked in interest, “Why?” He asked, trying to gain more insight into her parents. He couldn’t ever remember her speaking of them before, not even when he was little. All he could remember was his grandma Edith.

“Oh lots of reasons,” Rosemary said as she grinned at him, “I just think they are crazy.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke but looked fully serious at the same time. Billy tilted his head softly at her choice of words.

“I thought your parents were dead.” He admitted a second later. He wasn’t sure why she would refuse to speak about them if they weren’t dead. Then again, she refused to tell Russell about Neil and Neil was very much still alive.

“I don’t know if they are or not. I guess I don’t care to find out either,” She admitted as she buttered his toast for him, “They disowned me once they found out I was pregnant with you.” When she was finished she passed him a plate with the toast as she began to eat her egg. He picked a piece of the toast up as he considered her words.

“They didn’t like dad?” He asked her softly, feeling like that had to be the answer to the question. He wondered how bad Neil was when he first got together with Rosemary. He wondered if that’s why Neil was so hard on him sometimes, because he reminded Neil of the woman he hated. It seemed probable at this point.

“No, they didn’t mind him,” She said softly, “They didn’t like that we weren’t married. They were very self-righteous.” She shook her head as she continued to eat, looking like she was far away suddenly. He felt bad, sort of feeling like it was his fault.

“Have you thought about talking to them before?” He asked as he finished his first piece of toast. He stared at the second one, but really didn’t feel like eating it. His appetite felt smaller than usual, but he figured it had to do with the lack of sleep.

“Yeah, but not recently,” She replied wistfully, “After Russell was born, I thought that they might help me get you back. They just acted like they didn’t know me.” She laughed humorlessly, but he could clearly see the hurt that was hidden away in her blue eyes. He felt a wave of sadness crashing over himself suddenly as he felt more vulnerable than he had in a long time.

“I’m sorry.” He told her seriously, still feeling like part of this was his fault. He wondered where she’d be in life if he was never born. He wondered if she would’ve stayed with Neil at all, or if she would’ve eventually found Sam and been happy with him.

“I’m not,” She told him truthfully, “Even if they’re breathing, I buried them a long time ago.” She swatted her hand in the air, looking unbothered as she began to pick up her plate and the empty coffee cup. Billy took another sip of his, although he was beginning to feel like he didn’t need the extra caffeine.

“I think it would be hard to do that.” He admitted, feeling slightly like a hypocrite as he spoke. He knew that he had wished her dead a long time ago, thinking it would be easier to have her gone and out of his life. He wasn’t sure if he still wanted that anymore. She seemed to be genuine, no matter how hard he tried to deny that.

“Perhaps,” She told him as she began to braid her hair back, “I guess it depends on the situation.” She said as she looked ahead, like she was trying to figure out what the situation was. He was suddenly curious for more information about her past, about what she’d done.

“I never wanted to forgive you,” He told her a second later, “I don’t know if I really have. I’m just saying that maybe there’s still a chance for you guys.” He shrugged his shoulders, wondering if parents got better as they aged with time. He almost had to believe that it was true.

“Maybe,” Rosemary smiled sweetly as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead, surprising him completely, “I’m glad that you’re giving us another chance.” She said quietly as a look of remorse crossed over her features again. Billy stared at her for a moment, his mind suddenly quiet from all thoughts.

Billy didn’t have a chance to fully respond before Kim was dragging herself down the hallway. He felt his body straighten, his face brighten as he peered at her. She wore a simple white shirt that ended at her elbows and a bright blue skirt that brushed just above her knees. He admired her for a moment too long before he turned away, hoping that Rosemary hadn’t noticed.

“Billy decorated,” Rosemary pointed out as she pulled another smile onto her lips, “Doesn’t it look nice?” She asked excitedly as she clasped her hands together. Kim blinked, looking like she had missed it completely as she turned to face the living room.

“Oh wow,” Kim breathed out softly as her eyes scanned the decorations. Billy observed her, thinking that the orange lights created a nice glow in her eyes, “It looks incredible. You did a good job.” She smiled sweetly as she turned to face him. He felt his heart beating roughly inside of his chest, beating so hard that it might explode.

“Thanks.” Billy responded as gripped a hold of the table, trying to keep himself anchored so he didn’t rush forward to kiss her. He had a sudden desire to make her feign being sick so she could stay with him.

“I’m going to grab my purse and then we can go, alright?” Rosemary asked her as she glanced up towards Kim. Kim nodded her head, her eyes following as Rosemary left the room before she approached Billy.

“What are you doing today?” Kim asked, glancing around before she leaned forward to kiss his lips. He grinned against the motions, suddenly forgetting what he had been thinking about. His mind had felt so full and vast this morning, his thoughts racing so badly that he had been unable to sleep. He felt another fresh surge of energy despite all the heavy lifting he’d done yesterday.

“I thought about going for a jog, then maybe lift some weights,” Billy replied as he pushed his hair out of his face, “Do you think I should get a haircut?” He asked suddenly as he tilted his head. She looked at him taken aback.

“What?” She searched for clarity as she looked over his features, like she couldn’t understand why he’d think that. He didn’t necessarily want to cut it, but he felt like a change in something would be nice.

“Like cut it shorter?” He asked her again, wanting to know what she thought first. He didn’t want to cut it if she didn’t like it shorter.

“No,” She told him truthfully as she ran her fingers through it, “I like the mullet.” She looked at him gently as her lips curled into a smile. The motions of her smile felt like it dug right through his flesh and landed directly in his chest.

“Are you ready, Kim?” Rosemary asked, snapping Billy out of his thoughts again as he turned to look at Rosemary. She was smiling, looking anything but suspicious as Kim dropped her hand from his hair.

“Yeah,” Kim squeaked out softly, “See you later.” She replied to Billy, looking like she wanted to say more before she turned on her heels and headed out with Rosemary. Rosemary wrapped an arm around her waist, giving her a soft squeeze before she was guiding Kim out and leaving Billy to himself.

He paused for a moment, his leg bouncing against the stool as he thought of where to begin next. He needed to do something to keep his mind occupied before everyone else woke up a few hours later.

He started with refolding all of Rosemary’s quilts, before he inevitably decided it would just be good for him to start on his work out. His muscles still slightly burned from yesterday and moving all of the heavy furniture, but by the time he was done with his weights he was sure that he would be unbearably stiff tomorrow.

He worked next on organizing the garage, which didn’t take too long. They didn’t have a lot placed into the garage. Most of it was tubs of old items and lots of pictures that he assumed had to be Rosemary’s. He discovered she had a full photobook reserved for him when they’d visit the beach, but he neglected to look into it.

He found himself in the kitchen a little later, feeling like he could start on breakfast or something for them as they usually started to get up around this time. He felt like he was too jittery, full and alive and he had nothing to do with all this energy and motivation. It was like it was bubbling underneath his skin, still threatening to burst free.

He could feel the pressure building in his skin, feeling so tight like it might explode. He felt like something was wiggling down deep beneath his skin, something that he was unable to see. He gripped the knife in his free hand, his thoughts on the edge of turning darker as he began to wonder if he could slice the jittery feelings free.

“What are you making?” Max asked as she walked into the kitchen. Billy quickly dropped the knife, shaking his thoughts away. He turned to face her, noticing the inquisitive look on her features.

“I don’t know yet,” He admitted as he turned from the knives, “What do you want?” He asked her, feeling a little excited that he was needed for something. She stretched out for a moment, her short hair wild and unruly from the sleep she’d just woken from.

“An egg sandwich is fine with me,” Max said curiously as she sat down at the counter. He wrinkled his nose but did as she said, “Did you do all of this?” She asked as she jerked her hand towards the living room. He nodded his head, still feeling proud of what he’d done. “Yeah,” Billy grinned as he began to crack some eggs into the still hot pan, “I got a few masks for you too. I figured you’d want to go as something weird.” He told her honestly. He half expected her to go as Michael Myers again, but then decided it would be cool if she had something different to wear.

“Thanks,” She said softly as she leaned over the counter to watch him, “Have you been feeling okay?” She asked casually, her blue eyes turning inquisitive. He felt a fresh wave of anger hit him suddenly, punching him so hard that he was speaking before he realized it.

“Yes,” He snapped back before he inhaled deeply. Billy closed his eyes for a moment, growing a little frustrated with everyone that kept asking him that question, “I’m fine. Do you want it sunny side up?” He asked a little softer, feeling bad that he had snapped so quickly. It was like his emotions were running unchecked.

“Uh sure,” Max nodded her head a second later, “That sounds fine with me.” She shrugged her shoulders as she tilted her head, still looking at him confused. The kitchen was suddenly loud as Russell raced his way inside, catching himself as he leaned up against the counter. Billy served Max her plate before he began to make one for Russell as well.

“Can we work on Kim’s car again?” Russell asked eagerly, already bouncing up and down with energy. Billy wondered if Russell felt like this all the time. He looked at him, noticing how the bruise around his eye was darker. His lip looked better, however.

“Maybe,” Billy responded quickly, “I wonder if she’d just like to get a new one.” He said quietly, more so to himself than anyone else. He had enough money to get her a car, but couldn’t think straight enough to really understand if she’d want that or not.

“What?” Russell looked at him confused, “But dad just bought that one.” He tilted his head, still looking like he couldn’t understand Billy’s thoughts. Billy shrugged as he pushed a sandwich towards him.

“It was just a thought,” Billy sighed, “Are you guys getting ready to go?” Max simply shrugged her shoulders again as she looked down at her plate. Billy didn’t know why he even bothered assembling a sandwich when she was currently working on taking it all apart and eating it one by one.

“Almost,” Russell grinned as he walked around in the living room and pulled forth a large display, “Did you see my volcano I’m working on?” He asked, pointing it out dramatically so Billy couldn’t miss it. He nodded his head, sending Russell a little impressed look.

“Neat,” Billy responded as he looked at the mess that was scattered along the display, “Do you get to blow it up?” He asked him curiously as he leaned against the counter. He wasn’t sure why he felt so social suddenly, but he had an urge to talk about all of the science projects he’d done over the years as well.

“Not yet,” Russell peeped up nervously, “I get to at my science fair in a few weeks. Will you come?” He asked hopefully, his blue eyes wide as he rocked back and forth on his feet. Billy glanced at him then at the volcano again.

“When is it?” He asked softly as he remembered all the times he’d hopefully asked Neil to join him at sports games, only to get shut down every time. He wasn’t sure that Russell had ever experienced that before, but Billy felt like he couldn’t be the one to start it.

“After Halloween, before Thanksgiving,” Russell shrugged his shoulders as he set it down, “I’ll have to check the date again.” He said slowly, like he thought the answer might suddenly appear to him.

“Sure,” Billy nodded his head, “I think I can go.” He told him casually as he began to scrub the hot pan clean. He glanced over his shoulder, examining the smile that grew ear to ear on Russell’s face.

“Are you kids ready?” Sam asked as he walked from the hallway. Billy didn’t quite understand how Sam worked so much, but then maybe he did. He figured he’d also work all the time if all he could think about was drinking.

“Yeah,” Max responded as she leaned backwards to give Sam a tight hug, “Are we doing anything after?” She asked him curiously as she looked up towards him. Sam smiled as he brought his hand down on her messy hair.

“Rosemary said something about going shopping if you want to,” Sam offered gently, “Otherwise I suppose we could do something else. Like go skating for a bit?” He suggested, looking quite happy as a smile broke onto Max’s lips.

“I’d like that,” She said honestly as she stood up quickly, “Let’s get this over with then.” She said eagerly as she yanked on Sam’s hand, trying to pull him further and further towards the door. He laughed as he sent Billy a small wave, signaling their farewell.

“Can I get my own skateboard?” Russell began to ask Sam curiously as they headed out the front door. Billy paused for a moment as the silence in the house kicked in, almost swallowing him completely.

He began to scrub at the dishes that had been used, but that still wasn’t enough to keep his jittery feelings at bay. His mind was racing again and he knew there was no point in staying here. He decided he’d go for a run, perhaps burn off all the extra energy that was lingering deep inside of him.

He pushed his hair up into a blue scrunchie, not really caring who saw him with it in his hair at this point. He set off quickly, but also tried to keep himself in place so he didn’t look like a mad man. He enjoyed the feeling of the sun hitting down against his body, like the rays were gently kissing his skin.

“Stupid motherfucker,” A girl cursed, roughly dragging her bike to the side of her as she pushed it up the hill, “Piece of shit.” She continued to curse as Billy jogged past her. He paused for a moment before he turned towards her, watching the way she blew a messy strand out from her forehead.

“Need help?” Billy asked as he began to jog backwards, “What happened?” He asked curiously, listening to the odd sound her bike was making as she continued to push it up the hill. She looked up at him irritated, her dark eyes flashing. She was clearly overdressed, apparently not expecting the morning to be so hot.

She straightened out a little bit, her skin was a soft brown that nearly looked golden in the sun. Her outfit was darker, slightly too baggy for her slim frame. She raised her eyebrows, looking like she didn’t know why he was still there.

“My stupid tire is jacked up,” She huffed out as she continued to push it up the hill, “I’ll figure it out.” She brushed him off, sending him another odd look as she continued to heave it up the hill. Billy stopped his movements, not caring to see her struggle with it anymore.

“I can fix it,” He told her eagerly, “I don’t live far away either.” He told her honestly as he gestured down to the edge of the street. She watched where he gestured, still looking quite uncertain.

“Do you live there alone?” She looked at him inquisitively, like she was trying to figure out what he wanted. He had no plans on doing anything wrong, he just thought that it would be good to help.

“No, I live with my mom and her husband,” He told her honestly, “And my sister and brother.” He mumbled underneath his breath, feeling like it was best to keep Kim in her own separate category. He took the bike from her easily, lifting it up with one hand as he turned back towards the house.

“Okay,” She spoke in confusion as she jogged to keep up with him, “You’re not trying to steal my bike?” She asked him, sounding a little worried at that thought. He glanced down at her bike, noticing that the red paint was chipped and slowly fading away.

“I have a car, why would I need this old thing?” He pointed out happily, motioning towards the blue beauty that was growing closer and closer. He wondered if he should was his car later. That would probably buy him some time.

“Thanks,” She muttered underneath her breath, “I appreciate it.” She continued to struggle to keep up for a moment before she finally fell in line with him. She stood at his eye level, basically the same height as him as he began to walk up towards the garage.

He punched in the code to it before he waited for it to slowly open. Once it was up high enough he ducked his head down and made his way inside, searching for the tool box that he had moved earlier. He hummed to himself, before realizing that it was oddly quiet within the garage.

“What are you doing?” He questioned her, tilting his head as he peered at how far away she was standing. Her dark eyes glazed over him, narrowing like she was trying to see if he was hiding something.

“Trying to figure out if you’re trying to kill me.” She admitted slowly, speaking softly like she’d realized she shouldn’t have shared that information. Billy felt his eyebrow raise as he began to position her bike in the correct way.

“If I was going to kill you would I take you to my house?” He asked her as he tried to keep a snort at bay. He couldn’t really see what was odd about this situation. He was just trying to be friendly, to be polite.

“I don’t know,” She said slowly, “You’re very odd.” She moved a little closer, one slow step at a time like she was trying to test the waters. Billy innocently held up a wrench, waving it so she could see it clearly before he began to mess with the chain on her bike.

“Thanks,” Billy responded dryly, “Just sit down while I fix your damn bike.” He told her seriously, rolling his eyes this time as he started to work on it. His mind was still buzzing despite his actions and his skin was beginning to feel tighter and tighter. He inhaled deeply, trying to keep his emotions at bay for a few minutes longer.

“You’ve done this before?” She asked him curiously as she joined him on the floor. She crossed her legs as she began to push her messy curls from her forehead again. He nodded his head slowly before he answered.

“My sister is reckless with her bike,” Billy answered truthfully, thinking about the many times he had fixed Max’s, “This won’t take long. Where are you heading?” He pondered for a moment. She paused, looking like she was unsure if she should tell him the truth or not.

“I was trying to head to work.” She admitted a second later, clearly looking a little more relaxed. Billy nodded his head, unsure of why he was so desperate for some sort of conversation. He never minded being alone before, but something about today felt different.

“What do you do?” He asked as he finished adjusting the chain. He spun the front wheel for a minute, checking to see if there were any visible holes or tears within the rubber. “I’m a tattoo artist, well, almost.” She said quickly, looking a little excited as she held her elbows over her knees. Billy stopped for a second, wondering if her art was any better than Dakota’s.

“Do you know Dakota?” Billy paused as he tried to remember what her last name was, “I think Barnes is her last name.” He said slowly, hoping that he was getting it right. She was sort of hard to miss. Loud and brash and a little too overbearing. She was always in Billy’s space, but he didn’t think she meant anything bad by it. She just seemed oblivious, or so he hoped.

“You act like this is a small town,” She laughed before she nodded her head in agreement, “I do know her though, I think. We have art realism together.” She moved her hands this time, clasping them together over her knees.

“She’s not too bad.” Billy said a second later, although he barely knew her. Tommy seemed fairly interested in her, but Billy had a feeling that she had something going on with Chet.

“She’s not a bad person,” She said quickly, “I would not let her tattoo me.” She said a little softer, smiling sheepishly like she was saying something bad. Billy nodded his head in agreement before he began to air her tire up.

“She’s pretty awful,” Billy replied with a laugh, “What’s your name? I’m Billy.” He introduced himself before he looked at her curiously, realizing that he hadn’t even bothered to ask. She shifted on the ground. “Alma,” She said as she sent him a wave, “How do I repay you?” She asked him, tilting her head as she peered at her bike as he set it back into its normal position.

“I have a girlfriend so nothing like that.” He muttered underneath his breath, suddenly hoping that he hadn’t given her the wrong idea. She gaped, drawing his attention back towards her.

“Jesus,” Alma’s features scrunched up, “I didn’t mean it like that.” She snapped at him, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe he’d said that. He smiled sheepishly, not bothering to mention that he had been offered that before.

“You said you do tattoos?” Billy asked, “Can you get me in today? I can pay.” He told her eagerly, feeling like there was suddenly a hole burning in his pocket. He could clearly picture what he wanted.

“I’m still an apprentice,” Alma warned him, “But I guess if that’s what you want.” She shrugged her shoulders, like she couldn’t see why it was such a bad idea. He felt a large grin forming on his lips as excitement bubbled inside of him.

“I do,” Billy responded eagerly, “I can give you a ride there.” He promised her, thinking of how surprised Kim would be when she saw it.

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“Hey,” Kim grinned as she walked into his room. She paused before she slowly rested against his right side, her fingertips narrowly avoiding his new tattoo, “What did you do today, handsome?” She teased him as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. He breathed in her scent for a moment, thinking that she smelt extra sweet today. Perhaps, it had to do with the icing on her tongue.

He started to speak, trying to explain his story of what happened today but then realized he was speaking too fast. Kim’s eyes widened as they danced over his features, her eyebrows knitted in confusion as she tried to keep up. He paused, giving himself a second to sort out the story within his mind as it kept racing through his head, “I fixed this girl's bike and I got a tattoo.” He summarized it as best as he could.

His skin no longer felt like it was threatening to pop and burst everywhere. He supposed he should’ve clarified that he’d gotten two tattoos, but the one on his right side against his ribs. The tattoo on his left hand was smaller, just a geometric shape that traced from his thumb up to his index finger.

“You got a tattoo?” She looked at him surprised before a smile grew on her lips. He admired the curve of her mouth for a split second, feeling like he was so lucky to be able to kiss her lips and have her all to his own.

“Do you want to see it?” He asked excitedly, feeling like he was bouncing with excitement as bad as Russell would. She nodded her head and Billy didn’t wait any longer before he was pulling his shirt up over his head. He gestured towards it, unable to fully reach it on his own without looking in a mirror.

“Sure,” Kim grinned, looking excited as she slowly peeled the tape back to expose the ink, “Billy. Oh my God. What is this?” She was stunned, her voice nearly sounding horrified as she stared at the ink again. He felt a little panicked, wondering if Alma had messed up on something that he’d missed.

“You don’t like it?” He turned in concern, looking in the mirror as he faced away from Kim. He couldn’t see what was wrong with it. The drawing of a girl was sitting with her knees together, her longs dangling as she rested her cheek up against her shoulder. Her hair was thick and long, a deep red. He thought it looked nice.

“Is that supposed to be me?” She squeaked out softly, her cheeks beginning to turn pink as Billy turned to face her again. He paused for a moment, unsure of how he was supposed to answer her question when she was reacting this way.

“Is it a bad thing if I say yes?” He asked her seriously, trying to keep his shoulders from slumping as he pushed the bandage back over his skin. He jolted a bit, wincing softly at the sore area he’d pressed on.

“No,” She responded quickly as her face turned scarlet, “But what will your mom say?” She asked him softly as she stepped forward to gently rub the tape down against his skin again. He grinned as he looked towards her.

“She won’t see it,” Billy reassured Kim, “Or maybe she’ll think it’s some other hot redhead.” He teased her as he leaned forward to gently press his lips against hers. She moved her lips against his softly, her cheeks feeling warm from how red they were.

“Oh my God,” Kim squeaked out as she traced her fingertips along the tape again, “What has gotten into you?” She smiled softly as she looked up at him, suddenly looking a little pleased with herself.

“I’m just happy,” Billy grinned as she leaned forward to peck her lips repeatedly, “So happy.” He mumbled against her lips, leaning forward to deepen the kiss a little bit. He slid his tongue against her mouth, desperate to feel more of her against him suddenly.

“Mhm,” Kim grinned against his mouth, “They did a good job on it.” She told him shyly, looking like she wasn’t sure how to compliment the design. He chuckled softly as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah?” Billy grinned at her, “Maybe I need to get another one.” He said teasingly as he held his hand out towards her. Her eyes widened as she looked at it. She gently wrapped her nimble fingers around his palm as she observed the area for a second, like she was trying to build the confidence to look at it.

“God,” Kim breathed in deeply as she slowly pulled the wrapper back. She sighed in relief a second later, making Billy laugh. He had considered getting her eyes on his body much too late into his session. He wished he would’ve brought a picture of her, “I thought it might be my boobs or something.” She teased him.

“I could do that,” He encouraged her with a bright smile, “I should pin up your nude photos.” He said a second later, figuring that this was his room and he could do what he wanted. Neil never said anything about having pictures of models up in bikinis, but he somehow figured that Sam wouldn’t be too happy about it.

“No,” She replied before he was finished speaking, her cheeks burning brightly, “That still sounds like a terrible idea.” She shook her head, like she could somehow shake the thoughts from his mind.

“I can’t help that I'm crazy about you.” He told her truthfully, feeling like she was on his mind all the time. She felt similar to his favorite album, the one he couldn’t stop playing. He could think about her constantly and never grow bored.

“Maybe you’re just crazy,” She teased as she leaned forward to press her lips against his nose, “Come on. They were asking about you.” She urged him softly, giving his fingertips a slight squeeze before she slowly backed out of the room. She grinned at him, her face lighting up brightly before she slipped out the door.

Billy chewed on his bottom lip, hiding his own grin as he slipped his shirt on over his head and followed her back down the hall. He peered around curiously, noticing that Max and Russell were lounged out on the couch, passing his controller back and forth for whatever game he was playing.

Billy peeked out the glass doors, trying not to roll his eyes as he noticed Sam and Rosemary sitting near his little garden. He wasn’t sure how they could be so passionate about gardening of all things.

“Max,” Kim grumbled as she pulled her notebook out, “What did you do? Don’t mess with my homework.” She told her quickly, looking a little horrified as she scanned the pages.

“Why would I mess with your homework?” Max asked in irritation, snapping her head around quickly before she turned her attention back towards the TV. Billy leaned against one of the chairs as he watched Kim shake her head in dismay.

“It was me,” Billy said a second later, “I thought I would help out.” He added slowly, unsure if he had really helped now by the look on Kim’s features. She was clearly surprised as she held her notebook tightly in her hands.

“You did my math homework?” Kim questioned as she walked towards him. She looked up from her notebook curiously, tilting her head like she couldn’t understand why he’d done it. He shrugged his shoulders, knowing that he had spent much of the night desperate to get his mind off of things.

“Yeah, why not?” He asked as he tugged softly on the tablecloth, “I didn’t have anything else to do. Is it wrong?” He questioned her in worry, feeling like he’d ruined his chance at helping her. She shook her head rapidly, looking a little alarmed at his brash tone.

“No, it’s right,” She reassured him quickly, “Your handwriting just looks different.” She mumbled, more to herself before she closed the notebook quickly. She examined it for a while before she looked back up at him, her features still knitted together in confusion. She sent him a soft, reassuring smile that quickly calmed the way his chest was beginning to race in panic.

“What did you get?” Max asked, holding her hand out lazily as Billy began to walk by. He stopped, letting her roughly pry the tape back as she examined the black ink, “That’s cool.” She shrugged her shoulders quickly before she dropped his hand again.

“I like it,” Russell spoke up a second later, averting his eyes from Max as he inspected the design on Billy’s hand, “It’s really awesome.” He added to Max’s sentence, looking a little proud of himself.

“Thanks.” Billy drew out softly as he plopped himself down next to Kim. She smiled softly, although her eyes were a little wide as she placed some distance between the two of them. He tried to keep from grumbling as he watched her, sure that she was beginning to act weird.

He inspected her, trying to figure out if he’d done something wrong or if she was really uncomfortable with the tattoo he’d gotten of her. He thought that was a silly thought though. Alma had just drawn a pinup girl that was similar to Kim’s looks, it was nothing that was done based off of a picture.

“Jesus,” Billy couldn’t take it anymore as he placed his hand on top of Russell’s to stop the annoying movements, “Can you stop that, please?” He questioned him, snapping a little harsher than he’d realized. The room was suddenly quiet.

“Sorry,” Russell flushed suddenly, “It’s just a habit.” He squeaked out, his blue eyes wide like he hadn’t expected Billy to react in that way. Max shot Billy a look of disbelief, but Billy couldn’t function because of the irritation that had grown inside of him.

“It’s fine,” Kim leaned over Billy to give Russell’s hand a soft squeeze, “Did you tell Billy about the odd couple that came in today?” She questioned, looking up at Billy amused as she continued to lay over his lap for a brief second.

He observed her features for a second, noticing the confusion that was lingering in the crevices of her eyebrows as he slowly relaxed. He leaned back in the seat, unsure of why he’d suddenly grown so angry. He felt better as a soft relief filled him while Russell began to fill Billy in on the bakery drama.

/////////////////////

“You know what we should do,” Billy said suddenly as he glanced towards Kim, laying on the side of her bed as the night sky grew darker and darker, “Get married.” He told her seriously, keeping his eyes peeled to her features so he could tell what she thought about his grand idea.

“What?” Her hazel eyes were wide in disbelief as a stunned expression grew over her features. She opened her mouth, then shut it again like she still couldn’t believe what she had said.

“Why not?” He asked her quickly, “We love each other.” He stated, feeling like this would be the proper thing to do. He thought that things would be a lot better if they were married. She slowly relaxed as she moved a little closer to him.

“Your mom doesn’t know first of all,” Kim laughed as she held onto his hands, “And where would we get married at?” She questioned him, looking just as serious as she asked the question. He ponder about it for a moment.

“The courthouse.” He said simply, wondering if they could sneak down there tonight and get it over with. He supposed that it was probably too late and that they would have to wait for the morning sun to rise before they could do it.

“What would I wear?” She asked him, her question full of humor as she held onto his eye contact. He tucked her hair behind her ear, gently stroking her cheek as he admired her features. He thought that she could wear anything and be pretty in it.

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now?” He asked her seriously as he took in her polka dotted nightgown. Kim slightly pouted her lip out, shaking her head in a playful disbelief.

“I want a wedding dress,” She said at last, “One that’s got the puffy shoulders and is big and white. I want to look like a princess.” She told him eagerly, her eyes flashing like she’d thought about this for a long time. He paused, realizing that she probably had spent a long time planning it out. He wasn’t surprised at her wanting to look like a princess, not one bit.

“You always do,” He grinned as he pulled her into his lap, “Let’s just go buy one and then we can go to the courthouse.” He rubbed her hips softly, watching the way her nightgown crept up higher and higher along her smooth thighs. He tried to bury the image of his head between them, but could feel his cock stirring at the thought.

“With what money?” She asked him playfully, still laughing like he was suggesting something ridiculous. She played with his hair gently, while he turned towards her seriously.

“I can use my check.” He stated as he nodded his head. She observed him for a long second, like she just realized that he was being completely serious. He didn’t think there was anything funny about what he’d just suggested to her.

“Can we like-,” She paused for a second, “Think this out first?” She gestured with her hands as she sat back on his lap, suddenly looking a little panicked like she had approached this whole situation wrong.

“What’s there to think about?” He asked her seriously, “It’s a great idea.” He pulled her a little closer, wishing that there was a way to share his thoughts with her. He struggled with words, but he knew that this was a good idea.

She rubbed her hands up and down his bicep gently, looking like she was trying to figure out the best way to approach this subject. She was quiet as she held onto his skin, chewing on her bottom lip as she turned to look at him again.

“I want to marry you,” She replied gently as she pressed her fingertips against his, “But I think we need to figure out other things first. Like how to tell your mom. What if they don’t want us to live with them once we’re married? What if she won’t let us be together?” She explained gently, drawing out her words slowly so he could better understand what she meant. He felt a frown forming on his lips, feeling like she may be acting a little ridiculous.

“She has no authority over anything I do.” He told Kim sternly as he thought about Rosemary. He didn’t care if she had issues with them or not. He was happy and he knew Kim was happy. That’s all that mattered in his mind.

“I know, I know,” Kim whispered softly, trying to bring his tone down, “I’m just saying we don’t have to rush it.” She scooted forward a bit to grip his face lightly. She squished his face in her hands, grinning softly like she was trying to make him feel better.

“Is it because I haven’t bought you a ring? Because I can buy one right now.” He told her seriously. He furrowed his eyebrows together, wondering if he should’ve grabbed a ring instead of a bracelet the other day.

“I think-,” Kim paused again, looking like she was searching for the right thing to say, “That maybe you’re not thinking straight.” She breathed out slowly, looking a little worried as she rubbed her thumbs into his skin. He felt himself sinking back against the bed in confusion.

“I’ve never thought better than what I have right now,” He told her in defense of himself, knowing that his mind wasn’t jumbled, “My thoughts are free and I’m free.” He said quickly as he gestured towards himself.

“Are you okay?” She observed him curiously, her hazel eyes flashing as she watched him intensely. She looked worried, like there really was something wrong. He suddenly felt on edge, not enjoying the way she seemed to be analyzing him. He leaned back again, not understanding what could be so wrong about his behavior.

“Yeah,” Billy looked at her confused, “Why do you ask?” He tilted his head, trying to understand what the problem was. Kim hesitated, looking like she was torn to bring the subject up for a moment. He nudged her thighs softly with his fingers, wanting to draw the words from her lips.

“You seem like you’re on edge,” Kim said finally as she observed his features, “Did you take more mushrooms?” She asked him softly, curiously like she was worried about what the answer would be. He shook his head, thinking that she was too paranoid.

“No,” He laughed, “You said not to take anymore, remember?” He teased her as he rubbed his fingertips across her skin. In all honesty, he hadn’t taken any drugs since that night. He was just being more of himself, which he didn’t think was wrong.

“I do,” She nodded her head, “You just seem different.” She looked worried as she spoke up again, still looking like she was afraid of how he’d react. He tried to hide his offense, because he knew this was who he really was. She hadn’t seen this part of him enough.

“I’m happy,” Billy replied briskly, “Is that a crime?” He asked her quickly as he dropped his hands from her sides. Her eyes widened as she shook her head quickly, like she was trying to do damage control.

“I didn’t mean that,” She reassured him quickly, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay and that there's nothing else going on.” She said urgently as she brought his hands back up towards his lips. He relaxed a second later, grinning as he squeezed at her flesh again.

“I am,” He told her seriously as he leaned forward to kiss her lips slowly, “I am very okay.” He mumbled against her lips, sighing deeply at the scent of her that lingered in the air. He gave her lips another soft peck before he pulled away.

“Alright,” She grinned as she rubbed her fingertips across his cheeks, “I’m glad you’re okay.” She nodded her head softly as she began to trace her fingers across his skin. He leaned into her touch, enjoying how she felt against his skin.

He leaned forward, breathing in the sweet taste of her mouth before he brought his lips upon hers again. He kissed her feverishly, like he’d never kiss her again. His mind raced at the thought of losing her, his heart aching as he pressed his lips even harder to her mouth. She moaned softly in response, her back pressing up against the wall as she struggled to keep up with his actions.

She pulled away first, breathing hard as she rested her forehead against his. He sighed softly, leaning forward again to lick at her glossed lips. The desire to feel her grew deeper and deeper as he traced his fingers down her soft sides. She was sweeter than candy, more addictive than the cigarettes he smoked.

“Do you want to go to mass with me?” He asked suddenly, speaking the idea out loud as soon as the thought popped into his head. Kim looked at him curiously, her cheeks still pink from how roughly they’d been kissing.

“Mass?” She paused as she rolled off of his lap, “Like church?” She asked, sounding a little unsure as she watched him. He nodded his head a second later, thinking about how she’d never been before.

“Yeah,” He grinned, “I figured you could try it and see how you like it.” He reasoned with her as he brought her fingertips up to his mouth and began to pepper kisses along them. She smiled softly for a second before she pulled away.

“I don’t know,” She looked away from him, “I guess if you want to go.” She shrugged her shoulders softly. Billy paused for a moment, clearly able to tell that she wasn’t that comfortable with the idea.

“I’m asking if you want to go.” He clarified for her as he shifted on the bed so he could face her better. She tilted her head back and forth as she ran the thought through her mind again.

“Next Sunday is the day after the Halloween party,” She reminded him, “Are you going to be able to wake up?” She teased him softly as she moved in a little closer. He grinned as he kissed her soft nose.

“Of course,” He grinned as he pulled away from her, “The real question is if you’ll be able to wake up.” He told her seriously, thinking about how she liked to sleep in. Then again, her sleeping schedule still seemed to be fucked. Just not as nearly bad as what his sleeping habits currently were.

“Is that what you were doing this morning? Praying?” She asked him as she tilted her head in confusion. He thought about it for a moment, nearly forgetting that it had happened before he nodded his head. He realized she must’ve been up far earlier than he had thought, as he had done that in his room.

“Yeah, you know I was thinking about those dreams that you have,” He rambled for a moment as he tried to get his thoughts concise and clear, “Do you think they’re demons?” He tilted his head in wonder, suddenly feeling uneasy as he brought his feet up from off the floor.

“Demons?” Kim looked at him baffled, like she wasn’t understanding what he was saying. He thought for a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain his own thoughts.

“Like because you never really went to church and because of what we do,” He said a second later, “Do you think we’re being punished for it?” He asked her seriously, suddenly feeling worried. He’d never felt shame about their relationship before, but the thought of God watching them suddenly made him nervous.

“No,” She shook her head quickly, “I never thought of it that way, but I’m sure that’s not what it is.” She said softly, looking like she was a little fearful over the thought. Billy paused as he rocked himself back and forth.

“Why not?” He questioned her seriously. He didn’t mean to push the issue, but he really was curious to know what her thoughts were. He was fairly certain that if she repented, if they both did, that these issues would go away.

“Because there’s worse people that haven’t been punished.” She said at last, looking at him seriously. He held his hands together as the words washed over him. He nodded his head in agreement, realizing that she was right. Not that he would really argue with her, she looked fairly stern in her answer. He had a feeling she had no desire to discuss the issue any further.

“That’s true,” He agreed a second later, suddenly feeling reassured, “I forgot about that.” He admitted softly as he scratched at his chin. He felt a sense of relief, but feared that he’d lose it if he lost focus of her.

“Billy,” She leaned forward a little bit as she held her palms against her knees, “I want to ask you something but I don’t want you to get upset.” She admitted at last, taking him a bit by surprise. He nodded his head, not wanting her to hide her thoughts from him out of fear of him growing angry.

“Okay,” He said slowly as he watched her curiously, “What is it?” He asked softly as he pulled her hands over to his lap. He played with her fingers softly, rubbing his nails gently against her palms. She lowered her voice as she leaned towards him.

“Are you taking something?” She whispered cautiously, “I know we didn’t discuss it much before but if you’re having problems with drugs, I can help.” She linked their fingers together, squeezing softly as she looked at him. He moved his head back a soft, feeling a little offended that she would suggest a thing.

“I’m not taking any drugs,” He said roughly, snapping harder than what he should've. He didn't think it was lying at the moment, because he really hadn't taken any drugs. She wasn't asking for specifics and that was fine with him, “I’m fine. I feel relaxed and free. I’ve never been this happy before.” He told her quickly, still wishing there was an easier way to explain this to her. She sighed deeply as she nodded her head, looking a little relieved as she brought his hand up to her lips this time.

“It just changed so fast,” She smiled slowly, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” She repeated the words from earlier as she softly nuzzled her head against his hand, careful to avoid the area that was sore.

“Do I look like something is wrong?” He teased her softly, smiling brightly as he could assure her that he was fine. She bit her lip softly as she leaned even closer to him.

“You’re just not acting yourself,” She mumbled as she cupped his face gently in her hands, “And I want to make sure you know you can talk to me.” She said a second later before she delivered a kiss to his nose. He wrinkled it softly as he nodded his head. He felt slightly guilty as he knew he had been lying to her. He supposed this could be considered a fresh start.

“You can talk to me too,” He pointed out a little harsher, “You came home drunk the other night after being with your friends.” He told her truthfully as he thought about it. Her eyes widened and her face flushed, like she hadn’t expected him to know. He didn’t mind, nor was he mad about it. But she had clearly tried to keep it a secret.

“I had a few drinks,” She admitted, “Is that wrong?” She asked him honestly, looking like she truly didn’t know the answer to that question. He suddenly felt bad for confronting her about the situation.

“No,” He told her quickly, “But you act like it’s a bad thing.” He told her truthfully. She paused as she thought about it, looking like she didn’t know how to handle his statement.

“You saw how my dad got,” She mumbled as she played with the hem of her night gown, “I just don’t want to ruin things for him.” She revealed the truth to him. Billy brushed his shoulder against hers, giving a soft smile as he tried to gain her attention again.

“It’s alright,” He told her truthfully, not thinking that there was anything wrong with her wanting to drink occasionally, “Can you wear the lingerie?” He asked quickly. He supposed he should’ve clarified, but he wouldn’t mind seeing her in it right now.

“I can’t,” She laughed, “I’m on my period.” She told him softly as she rested against him. He grinned as he pulled her a little closer, feeling like she was silly for using that excuse.

“I don’t mind,” He told her quickly as he peppered his lips across her face, “We can sneak into the bathroom if you want.” He pressed the issue softly as he rubbed his hands down her slender curves. He enjoyed the way she felt in his hands and craved to feel more of it.

“Would you have to confess that to your priest too?” She questioned in a sultry tone as she playfully ran her fingers through his hair. He enjoyed the sensation as he lightly closed his eyes, enjoying how soft her fingers were.

“Yes,” He answered honestly, “We would. I don’t think it’s any worse than being with your sister.” He said a second later. He laughed to himself, wondering how the priest would react to that revelation.

“Stepsister,” She corrected him shyly, “I’d prefer to be called your girlfriend though.” She told him quickly, looking like she was insecure suddenly. He frowned at the thought, hoping that he hadn’t offended her.

“I don’t care about the label,” He admitted to her slowly, “I don’t care who you’re related to or what you do. I just want you.” He cupped her face, giving her soft cheeks a slight squeeze as he peered down at her.

“Okay,” She mumbled softly as she began to brush her fingertips against the hem of his pajama pants, “I can help you out?” She suggested softly as she began to tug the waistband of his pants down. He grinned as he slowly moved away.

“How?” He asked her as he held her back, holding her softly. Her hazel eyes flashed, looking at him full of lust. He drank in the image, watching the way her teeth lightly dragged against her plump bottom lip.

“I’ll make you feel good.” She said slyly as she slowly rolled her wrist around in his palm, like she was ready to grab a hold of him. He pretended to ponder the thought.

“By doing what?” He teased her softly, needing to hear her say it outloud. He turned his gaze towards her, his eyelids feeling heavy as he peered down at her.

“Sucking your cock.” She replied shyly, her cheeks beginning to turn pink as she slowly moved to her knees in front of him. She leaned forward, her boobs pressing against his knees as she watched him. He felt his cock beginning to stir, quickly filling out as he thought about how badly he wanted her.

“You’re not even going to ask?” He continued to tease her, “Just going to do it like a little whore.” She whimpered softly at his words, her cheeks burning darker as she leaned even closer to him. He had a sudden urge to strip her nightgown from her pale skin.

“Can I suck your cock?” She asked sweetly, her tone sultry as she peered up at him innocently. She fluttered her eyelashes as she traced her fingertips up and down his thighs. He felt goosebumps beginning to form from her touch.

“Hm.” He mocked being bored, beginning to really enjoy the strain in his pants. He breathed out slowly, watching the way she straddled one of his ankles. He smirked to himself, clearly noticing how her excuse of being on her period was slowly disappearing.

“I want to suck my big brother’s cock,” She whispered as she slowly palmed him, “Please.” She pouted her lips out and he was unable to hold himself back any longer. He nodded his head in agreement, watching the way she slowly pulled his pants down. He lifted his hips softly, assisting her as his cock popped free from its restraints.

“Wow,” She giggled softly, looking gleeful like this was the first time she’d seen it. She wrapped her slender fingers around his cock slowly, giving him a soft squeeze as she watched the precum drip from his tip. He sighed deeply, jerking his hips forward as he enjoyed the sensation, “So pretty.” She teased him softly.

“I think you’re a slut,” He admitted honestly, breathing out deeply as she slowly wrapped her lips around his tip. He fluttered his eyes shut, his mind falling empty as she began to bob her head up and down the length of his cock, “Jesus.”

She fluttered her eyelashes for a moment before she peered up at him again, her eyebrows softly wrinkling together as she began to slowly move his cock inside of her mouth. The pad of her tongue brushed along his veins, pressing into them softly. He knitted his fingers through her hair, feeling a bit desperate to have her move faster.

She slowly took more of him, teasing him as she didn’t press her lips further than the middle of his cock. He groaned as her fingers moved to cup his balls, squeezing them softly as she sucked on the head of his cock again. She dragged her tongue across his slit, licking at it playfully before she slid his cock deeper inside of her mouth again.

He pressed his hips up deeper in her mouth, tugging on her hair a little harder as he took control of her movements. He breathed out harshly, suddenly feeling a strong wave of pleasure crashing over him. He grunted loudly, the sound of her gags sounding like music in his ears.

He played with her hair, holding onto it tighter as he freely bobbed her head along his cock. He liked how easily she gave into him, how he let her control her for his own pleasure. He could feel his cock twitch in her mouth as she hollowed her cheeks out.

He looked down at her, watching the way her features knitted together in concentration as the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat. He sighed blissfully as she began to hum around his girth, sending a wave of vibrations up the length of his cock.

“Fuck,” He whined, sounding a little pathetic as he jerked his hips forward rapidly. He moved off the bed, feeling like he’d have better control standing as he moved her mouth faster along his cock. He was sure he’d never felt this good before, “You’re such a good baby sister.”

She moaned softly around his cock, looked up at him with knitted eyebrows as her eyes filled further with lust. He smirked to himself, dragging his tongue across his teeth at the realization of how easily he affected her.

Kim gripped his thighs tightly, squeezing as he continued to roughly pull jerk her mouth along his cock. He grunted a little louder, his mind blazing with want as he pressed his balls against her pouty lips. She gagged loudly, spit falling from her lips as she stared up at him.

He admired the way her face was getting darker, how her gags came out higher pitched as he roughly pressed into her mouth. He couldn’t focus on anything other than the pleasure that he was feeling suddenly.

Her moans became muffled from his cock as his tip repeatedly slammed into the back of her throat. He groaned at how wet and warm her mouth felt, how heavy his cock felt against her tongue. He wished he could fit all of his cock inside of her mouth, to feel the sensation of her mouth everywhere.

“Fuck, fuck,” He cursed, cumming harshly down her throat far too early. She gagged, coughing a little as she pulled away. She squeezed her eyes shut as she roughly gulped his spunk down. He groaned as he fell back onto the bed, feeling exhausted suddenly, “Shit, was that too much?” He questioned her, suddenly realizing how forward his motions were.

“No,” She giggled as she crawled up the bed to join him, her lips swollen as she looked at him with wide eyes, “I like when you treat me like that.” She admitted, making his lips curl into a smirk as he pulled her onto the bed. He wiped at the corner of her lips, admiring the way the drool was beginning to slide from her mouth.

He curled up behind her, pulling her close to his chest as he breathed in her sweet scent. He listened to her deep breaths before it slowly fell soft. He peered around her shoulder, surprised at how quickly she’d fallen asleep.

He held her closer, wishing he could join her. His thoughts felt loud again, running wild as he did his best to rest against her. He just wasn’t tired. He was sure it would hit him eventually.

It had been so long since Billy had felt this happy and joyful that he was suddenly afraid. He was afraid that it would all come crashing down like it always did. He didn’t want to go back to being bitter and confused. He wanted to stay just like this.

He could afford coke but it was expensive, and it never lasted enough for him to feel high like this all the time. He wanted something to keep his mind away, to keep his heart fluttering and to keep the smile on his lips.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove stepcest #tw pseudocest #tw stepcest #billy hargrove x original character #stepcest #Dancing in the Dark

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narwhalandchill · 24 days

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wuwa rambles incoming, on the negative side ish (?)

so i also ended up downloading wuwa to test it out despite being fairly confident in the assessment that it Will not be a long term thing for me (and yeah stand behind that one after day 1 and some today) and like

firstly yes the state of the game is in shambles lmao like it really wasnt finished in time for release in terms of performance and polish At All. on my side luckily the overall experience has been more or less okay on medium graphics with some glitches and a total of two crashes but its still like. this isnt an optimized game at all. ppl rly have been taking genshin being incredibly cautious with new systems and additions (so that the game actually Functions) for granted i suppose 💀 and or consistently taken the most uncharitable angle towards it . like yes we shouldve had xyz since forever but i 100% believe theres actual spaghetti code behind things taking long and that hoyo genuinely wants to be very careful w it for good reason. but yeah artifact presets where still

secondly as much as the world is like, pretty and vast with many sceneries that make for a beautiful vignette to Look at and all kinds of trinkets to run towards and engage w for that quick dopamine release, i think the fact that the story and lore of the world is just so fucking inconsequential and terribly communicated makes it just. Incredibly hard to Feel anything for it. its like a cake with stunning decorations except u take a bite and realize its all just fondant and no actual flavor. its just there. i dont have any thoughts nor feelings for it bc the worldbuilding is such a failure that i care neither for this place nor the characters whose stories are supposed to be selling me on the entire game. and that really sucks bc this place really Does look stunning in places and i Wish they would give me something to care about but its just the backdrop for the (admittedly fun) pokemon echo farm and ur exploration progress and the combat system

character-wise i also just dont mesh with vast majority of them much. they dont stand out enough from one another and no one except for like scar has actually made me very intrigued about anything at all regarding the world. designs vary from ugh to fine with some that i do like but they still arent like . the kind of Instant recognizable design that just Hits. they look fine but they lack the (jenshin) impact that makes you want to forfeit ur mortal possessions to them

now there is One (1) exception to this to be fair and thats sanhua but thats Literally just bc she is so fucking gender envy to me design wise. like its almost perfect just like that. literally if only her top wasnt open in the back . Id wear that shit SO hard for My scifi fantasy waves that wuther self insert oh my god. she looks like a middle school OC id make JSJSKSKDKUSKDK i love herrr literally the only reason i continue playing tbh . And she has ice powers too she is literally made For Me 💀

(jen forbidden lore tldr a niche finnish Banger of a fantasy book series that rewired my brain at 10 had an Excellently written girl protag who among other things gained op draconic ice powers of eternal winter and since then that simply became My main character daydream self elemental power of choice Always hsjsjsjskvkd)

the combat i think is where wuwa stands out and it definitely lets u engage more with the enemies. like ultimate evasion and counters Feel satisfying and building up ur characters unique mechanic like sanhuas ice constructs for her powered up charge atk Feels satisfying i def think theres a lot of potential there but in terms of A Future Meta in a gacha that wants money idk where things would ultimarely go in the future. but ya that stuff is solid.

enemy designs are also cool but suffer from that same lack of context to make me intrigued w the world theyre a part of. like cool eldritch creature ig but it doesnt give heebie jeebies the same way as seeing like. the husks in the chasm for the first time. where u instantly go oh fuck How. Why. Who were they. bc u know there Will be a relevant answer . etc . which is a shame. make me fear for my life smh

anyway for me my pulls have been like ridiculously bad i am genuinely not joking that getting sanhua on my first starter banner multi is the only reason i stuck w it. like. prior to this morning and getting aalto from the 20 free pulls . i have not received a Single non f2p new 4*. i have chixia c3 who i do Not like. yangyang c2. baizhi c1. Literally i kid you not the other new 4* i pulled today was . Yuanwu. so like considering the event and log in thats also c1 yuanwu c1 sanhua (latter of which i obvi have no issue w). and then my starter 5* was the worst case scenario 💀 Walmart gaming i mean. if u think hes cute cool but i am not at All enthused. id have taken Anyone over him lmao

so thats fun . i mean its fine im not gonna play long term i like sanhua and playing her w baizhi and someone like yangyang or aalto its fine for what i intend to do w it for now. & none of the future 5* rly appeal to me either

ultimately the game definitely has potential but it just. released too soon in a shoddy state and in many ways (mostly relating to its open world) i think is too reliant on just resembling genshin without actually innovating on top of that foundation or distinguishing itself from it. and the failure of its story to make players care about its world At All doesnt help. Do i think the world and lore are shit w 0 potential? well obviously no bc its so poorly communicated i cant even fucking tell you what it is About. but any possible potential there was definitely not utilized how it should so eh

now personally i have absolutely no horse in this toxic drama clownfest of a gacha game war arms race other than its not worth the time nor effort. so i truly have no particular feelings of fervent support nor some schadenfreude about kuro and for competitions sake i Do hope they manage to salvage the situation and that wuwa manages to flourish in the end but ironically enough the genshin "killer" number two more or less seems to have went the way of the other one aka ToF. so thats something i suppose lmao

Like there is something very painfully ironic about it all and it is hysterical in that sense. at least that much i can admit hsiajsks. But truly if some ppl find that wuwa offers them sth better than genshin then good for em, dont let my highly lukewarm reception ruin ur enjoyment. just end the fucking drama farm and disingenuous claims to gas up ur own cope and hype

(and to be clear. i would Not have played like 8 hours yesterday if i wasnt genuinely engaged w trying the game out and having fun lol. its just very clear to me that this early rush of ADHD dopamine oh new game new things to burn through new exploration shinies short term quick fun is very likely all wuwa is going to have on offer for me personally)

anyway thats just me so feel free to share yalls thoughts too if ud like

#also like. i am aware that kuro was p much forced to launch too soon #due to the license for releasing the game into chinese markets expiring this year #which does lend context for why they launched wuwa so fast that even cbt 2 testers felt like it wasnt quite ready yet #but anyway i think for me its like #what it does better slash good different from genshin isnt enough to make up for the meh things #that are ultimately just things i could also get from genshin but better #so it wont be anything i see worth sticking long term to at least consistently #like. in genshin So much of what attracts me to it are things that wuwa Failed at #genshin isnt perfect story and traveler is very. character of all times. but this world hooked me in from ground 0 #and KEPT me engaged by remaining consistent by having an easily comprehensible base world #and Beautifully layering the complex lore in a way that just intertwines with the simpler surface so naturally #the environments are Distinct design choices are made with Intent and hold implications that are thought out #a book added in 1.0 will be written intentionally relevant for lore revealed 4 years down the line #and like. atmosphere in genshin. with the music. it almost feels bad for wuwa on tbat front they never had a chance 💀#but yeah this has truly been a launch of all times #rambles #wuwa #and i suppose also #gaming tag

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revelisms · 11 months

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Excerpt: What Were Any of Us?

Jinx and Singed chat about new developments across the river.

From 'fate is a sundress, ripped at the thigh,' a oneshot exploring Jinx's relationship to Sevika and Singed in the aftermath of S1. Full story on AO3

"Your eye for chemistry is quite remarkable," he says. "I'd not have seen the patterns you caught. A consequence of living too closely to the colonies, perhaps."

Jinx snuffs a breath through her fringe. It's the first day in too many that she's brushed her hair the whole way through: drawn it back into a clean tail at her nape, tied it off with a tattered old ribbon, a shock of neon green in the mess.

"Wasn't hard," she rasps, shrugging. "Just gotta look for the magicy bits, and stuff."

The doctor's good eye crinkles at the edges. The other stays flat and white.

It should be black and red and fire and warm and unblinking. Should be. But it's familiar, that unbalance. Comforting, in an odd way.

"This is because of the stone," he presumes. She fiddles at her cup, nails clinking off the handle. "I knew another, once, with a similar inclination. Smart boy. We keep in touch, from time to time."

For a moment, she only feels his eyes studying her, silently. Only hears the waves, feels the wind, the pressure of her cup biting back at her.

"I wonder...if this might be of interest to you." He reaches inside his coat; sets a small leather-bound journal, thick as a thumb, upon the iron. "Notes of his, on a new development with the Arcana."

A shock frissons through her skin.

She sees blue and fire and magic and whirling and gone gone rocketing—

We'll show them—

"It won't bite, child."

Still, she just stares at it, blinking. Her nail slips against the porcelain.

One wrinkled side of his face lifts at her, at that: a crooking remnant of an eyebrow singed off. "Aren't you curious?" he prods, quietly. Because she should be. She should be. "A world waiting to be discovered at our fingertips. Science—and magic."

"World of heebie-jeebies, you mean?" Jinx swipes up the notes, leveling a suspicious leer over their edges. "Bor-ing."

"You are not intrigued by the combination." The skin around his beady eye creases, again. "Neither was he. But the technology; the potential." She glances through her fringe. Watches as he crooks his head at her, and hums. "It is what interests me, too."

Maybe that's true. Maybe she doesn't give a hoot. Maybe she wishes she could turn back time, wishes she could build welding robotics and mechanical contraptions and micro-tech that responded to touch, had minds of their own; augmentations with precipice and wonder and deadly promise, that could fly high enough to touch the stars.

That little cup of coffee tips to his gums again, hissed through his teeth. "Mages have tried and failed, for centuries, to write magic into being," he continues. "But it is a living thing. It evolves. What better way to house it, than in a body that can adapt?"

She thumbs through a page of spindly illustrations. "Metal's still metal."

"Hextech has its limitations," he agrees. "Namely, the lack of life. The Arcana feeds off it, like a virus—but the result it produces..."

Her fingers still over countless calculations—variations upon variations of organic material reverted into something else, something infinite.

"It is...volatile, yes," continues a voice across from her, faraway. "But—you see? Even in it's infancy—"

"It could heal," Jinx breathes.

The doctor blinks at her. His thin fingers steeple together, and taper still. "Create," he corrects. Then, with a quietness to the rough edges of his words: "Many things could have healed him, child. In time." Her thumb presses hard into the page. Leaves a crease. "But so are the limitations of science. You cannot force progress beyond the tools you are given."

Jinx snaps the book shut. She squeezes it, stiffly. "What—what do you...want me to do with this?"

The air whistles with a gust of cool ocean air. It carries a speckling of salt, the smoky traces of a storm just along the way, and beneath them both, a sharp, chemical sort of sweetness: the kind that's sewed itself through her skin, from a lifetime working with gears and gunmetals and explosives; that kind that sits on the doctor's clothes, too.

He doesn't wear oils or fragrances. Never has. He smells like mildew and mothballs and that strange, floral taint of the black lilies, of the shimmer itself: a prism of too many things battling for attention, like the clutter of an apothecary's back shelves—but above it all, a spiced sort of musk, like dragon's blood.

It would stain her fingers after his injections. Change the air around him, for a minute or two, after that needle would prick the rot, drive a synthesized strand of blood into his veins and shatter him with the pain of it, shredding his genetic makeup alive and reforging a new one in its place.

As a girl, she'd wondered, morbidly, if enough doses would turn his skin pink, or his hair white, or if he'd never walk free from that feverish state the doctor demanded he'd stay in to survive.

But the shimmer never broke him, not completely. He'd always find the pieces of himself and put them back together.

It was in her veins now, too. But it'd eaten some part of her, in the process; bludgeoned through her like she'd smashed that damned vase. She couldn't find the pieces, now.

"I don't want you to do anything with it." The doctor's knobby fingers unfold, lace back together. "But if it interests you...well. I am continuing to pursue the developments."

She ticks her nail over the journal's binding.

She wishes he took up more space that he does, with his simple clothes and his flatcap on his spotty bald head. That he didn't just stink of the lab.

The salt stings her eyes.

Her lungs strain, stupidly strain to make that ocean air something else; to pretend those bony hands had scratches and scars, instead of burn pocks; that the shadow of his hat turned his blind eye black; that the scent on his wools was bergamot and sandalwood and clove and cedar and tobacco and—

"Does the ogre know that?" she bites out.

The doctor tips a glance over his shoulder, out towards the sea. "That is what you call her?" he drawls, bemused. His mismatched eyes flit back to her. "She is the helm of the knights, child—not the beast for them to slay. You should have seen her, the day they took the bridge. Should have seen all of them."

She shoves the notebook back to the table. "You weren't with them."

"Those that tend the wounded can't take the front lines, themselves. So goes war."

He folds his hands in his lap, leans back in his seat. She frowns at him, for a long moment. Rips her eyes away.

"He never—" Her nails squeeze into her palms. "Never said how you—you met him. Never told me."

A fluttering of fingertips dances in her periphery. "Does it make a difference? Fate has her ways. You, of all of us, should know that."

The words sit strangely on her. "I was just wondering."

For an eternity, the sea holds his attention. And she's used to that. She can handle that. Silence and thinking and always strategizing moves from four steps ahead, words weighed and strung together like precious stones—

"I didn't meet him, per-say. He was a subject." He lays a sallowed fingertip against the edge of his cup: tips it on its axis, from one side to another. "It took two weeks to stabilize the infection. Not a moment of it, I think, was he coherent." The cup stills. "What crawled off my table was not the same man."

Jinx presses her thumb into the heel of her palm, and keeps it there, like a dead weight. Quietly, she asks, "What was he...like, before?"

The doctor leaves the notes on the table between them. His stare skews curious, unwavering. Like she's nothing more than a test subject writhing his table, too.

"What were any of us?" he hushes.

#arcane fanfic #fic excerpt #jinx arcane #singed arcane #mentioned silco #cw death #cw grief #these two #the way i wasn't planning to root for surrogate science parent singed but then this scene got the most emotional out of all of them #aaghgh #writing

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themadauthorshatter · 2 years

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... It's been forever since I even TOUCHED this, and this is really just a headcanon post

So, forever ago, I made a post on Morro's wasted potential in Ninjago, and more people agreed with me than I thought, ngl

So, to add to that post, here are some thoughts/headcanons on how Morro's charaxter would shift if he appeared in more than the ghost season

Right off the bat, he does not die. He runs away after he is proven to not be the green ninja, but he instead is attacked and has to be rescued, something that knocks him down a few pegs even when he's bed ridden and sick with Wu taking care of him. Morro does eventually apologize for his behavior, more specifically admitting that he was wrong to think he was stronger than the rest when he almost died. Wu lets him stay, happy to have not lost a student, and offers him a different goal instead of being the green ninja: stay where he's safe and keep learning so he can be stronger.

Morro agrees and continues to grow and learn until he becomes Wu's right hand man.

In terms of 'hierarchy,' Wu is the teacher, Morro is second in command and tied slightly with Cole, Zane is after them as the scout and the smart guy that doesn't talk much, Jay and Kai are the two that are good fighters, yet still need some reining in, and Nya and Lloyd are the little guys that do what they're told, thankfully.

Morro's dragon does not have a seat/saddle. Morro rides on his dragon while standing because he is in tune with his wind powers.

Is he all work and no play? Of course not. He knows how to kick back, it just takes him a second to do so.

He and Cole are the most experienced of Wu's students and tells horror stories of his days in training just to mess with the guys.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: Morro doesn't hate Zane, but he doesn't like being around him either because(spoiler alert if you don't follow all the parts of my PG-13 touch-up AU) Zane is dead. Being near him gives Morro the heebie-jeebies and makes him feel sick, so he tries not to be near Zane for long periods of time. A couple hours is fine, but a day is too much.

Cole and Morro get along, but before, when Cole first joined, they were rivals, as in they were siblings fighting over Wu's approval. Eventually, Wu got stuck of the constant bickering and sent the two on missions together, something that helped the two bridge the gap between them and start getting along. And now they're inseparable

Jay and Kay have DEFINITELY given Morro more headaches than he cares too mention mainly because Jay's high energy and Kai is reckless. All three get along well enough, but there are times when Jay and Kai are a little much for him to deal with.

He has no problems with Nya. It was weird to live with a girl after so many years, but the two are fatherly decent friends and Morro acts as a wing man for both Nya and Jay because he knows theres something there between them

Like I said, Morro can sense and communicate with the dead, and it's a power he hates because he hates seeing what could have happened to him after running away. He's not surprised when Zane reveals he's basically a reanimated corpse, instead having this sullen look on his face.

Does he go on a lot of missions? Sort of. Sometimes he joins the ninja, sometimes he doesn't. The tomb missions were an immediate 'no' for him because of the history and he got a bad feeling, and seeing Pythor for the first time instantly made him freeze because of the fact that Pythor had some lingering spirits following him.

Fighting the skeleton army was a 'no go,' but Morro did have to push through to help save his family.

Jay helps him through times when seeing the dead becomes too much, and has shown him it's okay to use it because Morro found the ghost of a girl that had found Zane and led them to him

Kai's time wondering and obsessing about if he was the green ninja definitely got on Morro's nerves because, as he later reveals to the team, he thought he was the green ninja once before he was proven not to be. He's over it, but he reacted poorly back then and it almost cost him his life. He doesn't know who it is, but he knows it's not him and he wouldn't bet on Kai because his heads big enough as it is.

Upon meeting Lloyd, Morro had mixed feelings. On one hand, the kid was Wu's nephew and family and was alone where literally anything or anyone could get him and hurt him. On the other hand, he didn't exactly like kids and Lloyd being somewhat helpless bothered him. When Lloyd was on the Bounty and recovering from an illness, Morro was reminded of his younger self, how he tried to be bigger and stronger when he wasn't ready. Not Lloyd's situation, but he did tell Lloyd that he did good lasting as long as he did to get to his uncle again, so he can rest easy knowing he has that under his belt.

Lloyd's reveal of the green ninja hit hard, and it hurt. Big time. Like, 'Tai Lung trained for years on end but is not the dragon warrior' hard. Hiw did he react? By putting his hand on Lloyd's head, giving a very dry smile and saying, "Don't think I'll go easy on you now because you're the chosen one." It was actually a nice moment between thebtwo amd after when Lloyd expressed fear and sorrow at having to fight his father.

When Lloyd aged up, Morro was legitimately devastated and felt awful about how Lloyd has to grow and mature so much faster now and that he had to FIGHT HIS OWN FATHER, all of it boiling up and making him snap at Wu and the team that Lloyd's been through so much already and he's literally just a kid and he has so little things in life that are actually good for him because now being the chosen one has put a target on his back.

When the team got their powers back on the dark island, Morro was not messing with his powers. Instead he was in the waters of the beach trying to catch fish and just sort of being on the beach before sunbathing with Zane because he's never been on a beach before. That stopped when Wu yelled at them.

Morro does get a dragon, but his saddle/ seat is a little different because he stands up when he flies, like he flies his dragon in the way you skateboard, and it equally impresses and annoys the ninja because he's just showing off.

What's his golden weapon? A pair of tessens, or fans, that have wind powers. He does get picked on for it, but he reminds the culprit that he's Morro and you don't want to piss off Morro.

The team does not tease Morro about his abilities with seeing, sensing, and communicating with the dead, mainly because it's the ability itself that hunders him against opponents like the skeleton army, Garmadon, and the serpentine. That many cries from people who have died get to him and he has no idea what to do. The team can't really imagine what it must feel like, but they do comfort him because they're family.

And that's where I'm going to call it because I can't really think of anythi g else for this😅

Hope you enjoyed!!!

#ninjago #ninjago morro #child endangerment tw #he's like a big brother to everyone #death mention tw #ninjago zane #ninjago nya #ninjago jay #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #will probably elaborate more later #long post

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darlingvernon · 1 year

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warning: body talk, ed, self-image

Hii on the minghao interview, if you’re up for talking about it

But like, what the hell was that why did the interviewer immediately bring up his body?? Like right as he walked in he’s asking about how he’s so skinny. Also I wish he would’ve at least brought up something along the lines of what Jun has said regarding how it’s their job to uphold the beauty standard.

I don’t know where you’re from, but navigating this as a westerner is difficult.

From a westerners perspective, it’s unnerving to hear them discuss bodies like that. But from a south easterners perspective, there’s less taboo surrounding it. It still gives me the heebie jeebies regardless. I wish it just wouldn’t have been the topic for the interview.

Another reason being that it’s a translation, from Chinese (assumed) to Korean to English. Sure, he goes on to prioritize self-love, but he takes it in an unnecessary direction with using it as motivation to change one’s self to achieve “health”. It feels like there’s an attempt at nuance, and maybe there was in Korean, but if he really wanted nuance he could have brought beauty standards and I don’t know maybe not insinuating that body shapes determine health.

I’m disappointed and quite surprised as it’s coming from Minghao. I remember in the past on Knowing Brothers they were discussion member’s ranking in handsomeness, and Minghao asked to not talk about it. In that moment I could have sworn he was capable of critical thinking. Now I’m not so sure 😫

tw // fatphobia

hello!!

i’m honestly busy today (it’s already nye here and it’s my husbando’s bday) but i thought i’d jump in here quick and answer this to the best i can.

i honestly can’t speak for the whole interview as i didn’t watch it at all and i’m just going by the snippets i’m seeing, but it’s definitely weird that an interviewer is bringing up body image like this.

i’ve seen what jun has said and that the reason they have to look the way that they are is because of their jobs and that ‘weight’ should not be the focus (which is helpful) but he then still alluded to ‘working out to have a nice shape and condition’ which is still a bit iffy honestly. but with minghao, being quite outspoken, didn’t bother to mince his words i guess.

i’m actually originally from a south eastern country, and is someone who was considered “chubby” even as a size 10 (or size 1 in the US i think?). i’m double that now for various reasons including giving birth to two beautiful girls. anyway, i wouldn’t say there’s less taboos there. it’s just… someone from my generation (as someone who is 30+) it was harder for us to speak up, and something we were forced to live with (still up to this day despite being in a somewhat western country). so, i feel sad for everyone that got to hear this, but especially to my fellow sea’s who continually have to live with a society with this mindset and feel like they can’t speak up.

honestly, i can only pin this down to minghao’s inexperience of being on a variety show by himself and feeling the need to answer every question. what he said is very disappointing and i really wish he would see what fans are saying so that he can learn from it and be accountable moving forward because i truly believe he is someone capable of doing that. we just need to wait and see if it’s something he wants to do.

#tw: fatphobia #ask #💌: meltingpng #i’m sending you lots of love!

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vampirelover890 · 2 months

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The Moon’s Favorite (5/?)

Maria glanced at the new recruit at the other side of the guild, then got up from her table and walked over to his. She stood about 5 inches taller than him and her unimpressive chainmail and leather coat seemed almost luxurious compared to his sad, oversized suit which seemed to be covered in dog fur.

He looked up from his mug of ale, which he'd previously been practically drowning himself in, to meet Maria’s gaze, then backed the rest of glass, and asked, “Are you lost?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, rookie.”

“Rookie definitely is not the right word, but I guess it fits; we’ve never officially been part of an adventurer’s guild.”

“Well then rookie it is. I’m Maria Mazelina, and you look like you could use a party, and we’re down an adventurer. Whaddya say?”

“Oh god, anything but a party. I hate parties. Too many people to worry about.”

“That’s sounding’ like quitter talk mister. Who knows, maybe this party’ll change your mind.”

“You know what, fine, I’ll bite. The name’s Anderson, please call me Anders, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Alright Mr. Anders, the rest of our party’s sittin’ right on over there. I’m sure they’ll love ya.”

Maria led Anders to her table, where the 3 other members of their party sat. Maria pointed to the tall knight in a deep red armor. “That’s Slayer, we call them that cuz we don’t actually know their name. In fact, they almost never say anything to us, but they’ve been a part of this party the longest.” Maria then pointed to a man of Dragon’s Descent, with green scaled skin. “That one there is Gail, he’s the son of a mistake and a Poison Dragon, but is reliable in a pinch,” Gail gave Anders a sincere wave, “and that,” continued Maria, pointing to the Insekt, “is our good ol’ buggy boy Vendrick. He’ll give ya the heebie jeebies one second, and the best damn back massage you ever had in your life the next.” Vendrick shot finger guns at Anders with two of his six arms as the other four were preoccupied with knitting a sort of scarf with a webbed pattern. “An’ finally, there’s me,” said Maria, “I am the leader of this rag tag group of shitheads, and am formally inviting you to join our party.”

After a moment of silence, Anders spoke, “That was perhaps the worst introduction to a group of people I have ever heard anyone give, ever. We're in.”

After much rejoicing at the party’s table, Vendrick asked, “Anders, what do you do?” To which Anders replied, “Well I’ve dedicated my life to researching the origins of magic, and as such I’ve dabbled in a bit of alchemy, so I’ll probably be the most useful as a supportive alchemist.”

“Sick, dude,” said Vendrick, “last alchemist we had was actually 3 goblins in a trench coat who tried to steal all our shit. I'm not saying i think you’re 3 goblins, I’m just sayin’ you’ve got the outfit for it.”

“Well you’ve called me over, and introduced us to your party. I assume you did so because your party was about to go on a job, didn’t have a fourth member, and a new rookie with no friends just walked on in?” Anders asked Maria.

“Well,” said Maria, “yeah, that’s exactly it. We’re headed to Marccina to see if we can find anything worth salvaging. Some people say that what ever did it is still there, but we’ll be fine. Whatever did do it, man or beast, is probably long gone.”

Three days, and a couple close encounters with thieves and monsters, later, Maria’s party arrived at Marccina’s closed gates. In front stood two Knights of the Queen.

One of the Knights stepped towards the party, and claimed, “Woah there, travelers! Beyond lies the ruins of the city of Marccina. The Queen has decreed the city safe only for those well trained and equipped. State your business!”

Maria quickly responded, saying, “We are adventurers of the Ynsdryth Guild. We ask that we be admitted entrance into Marccina to assure the city’s security and eliminate or otherwise drive out any thief or monster living within.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. It’s been 4 months and you’re the first party to decide to wander the streets in the name of the security of the kingdom. You must either be brave or crazy.”

“I’m afraid it’s the latter, good Knight.”

“Well then, the Queen has said nothing about the sanity of those who enter, only the preparedness. You may proceed.”

Gail leaned towards Maria and said, “Maria that is the most enunciated and formal I’ve ever heard you say anything.”

Maria retorted, “Well don’t get used to it hun. All I know is that them knights of the kingdom prefer speakin’ in their ‘formal dialect.’”

As Maria finished her thought, the heavy wooden doors that act as the only way in and out of Marccina’s tall stone walls groaned open, and presented a scene of rotten corpses and dried blood. As Maria’s party walked in, the knights closed the gates behind them, and were told to open them once more when they heard a knock from the other side, else they could assume the party dead.

As the party wandered the streets filled with dead, motionless corpses and blood stuck to the cobblestone paving, Vendrick started conversation.

“So, y’all uh, think this was some sort of ultra violent monster or large group of bandits or maybe it’s-”

“It’s close.” interjected Slayer, which took everyone in the party by surprise. Anders hadn’t heard the knight speak in the 4 or so days he’s known them, but Gail, Vendrick, and Maria, who’d been traveling with them for perhaps years seemed mortified. Maria turned to Anders and said, “In the 5 years I’ve adventured with Slayer, they’ve only ever spoken twice before. Once, on the day I met ‘em, they’d appeared on my ship after escaping from a pocket dimension they were dragged into by a Sea Bohemoth, an’ they said, ‘Hello,’ and the second was when we encountered a Demon who’d been summoned by cultists, an’ they yelled, ‘Run.’ I think we’ve got a lot more to worry about than squatters or bandits.”

Anders was equally as shocked as Maria, but for far different reasons. As the implications of Slayer’s words had time to sink in, Prometheus chimed into their shared headspace, saying, “Deephall, I fear this Slayer fellow may be onto us. If this gets too dicey, I'll have to make sure we don't have a party anymore."

As night fell over Marccina, the party found an alleyway to sleep in, and as they were about to settle, Vendrick crawled down from a roof, telling news of a tavern two blocks down. There the party would be able to at least avoid sleeping on the ground. As the party approached the tavern, the building on the opposite side of the road caught everyone's eye. A house directly in front of the tavern with the words, "Hello, Deephall" scratched deep into the building. Maria opened the tavern’s front door to find a scene seemingly 10 times worse than anything they'd seen outside. The bodies were torn apart, limb from limb, and the stone floor was a deep crimson from the blood that had been spilt. Gail, in an attempt to lighten the mood said, "Well at least whoever slept here the night or the Massacre must have been relieved when they didn't have to pay for their room."

Suddenly, Slayer drew their sword, and looked about confused for a while, then spoke, for the second time that day.

"Anders, you were here once."

Prometheus thought to Anders, "Alright, thats enough of that, I'll-" to which Anders thought back, "No, please, allow me to attempt to deescalate."

Anders spoke to Slayer, saying, "That is correct, we've been here, but that was about a day before," Anders gestured around, "whatever happened here, or out there, happened."

Maria pitched into the conversation, asking, "Anderson, why do you keep sayin' that?"

"Saying what?"

"'We.' You say 'we' instead of 'I' when talkin' about yourself."

"Well you see, we- I- uh- shit…"

Anders raised his arms, and began backing up. Slayer's sword was trained on Anders, and Maria had pulled out her revolver. Gail had armed himself with a knife and Vendrick had grabbed and smashed an empty bottle from behind the bar’s counter. The party surrounded Anders. He spoke aloud and clearly, saying, "Alright, I give up, I tried, I failed. You're up!"

Gail was going to ask Anders what he'd meant, but was swiftly answered as Anders' form began to disfigure itself. His figure became more imposing, and his demeanor of became that of something ready to kill for sport. Vendrick, after a tense moment, said, "Oh… I get it. The suit wasn't made for him, it was made for that thing!"

"Thing? You dare to call me a thing," questioned Prometheus. "I promise you now bug, I will be the last 'thing' you will ever see."

#short story #story #writers on tumblr #writing #writing on tumblr #werewolves #werewolf #character dialogue #adventure #adventuring party #please midnight/early morning fantasy scrollers save me.#I only write in bed or on the bus.#it’s a problem #I’m losing sleep #fantasy

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a-wandering-imagination · 11 months

Text

Chapter 9

Anton pulled the car into the garage when they arrived back at the house. His eyes scanned the trees and bushes as he lowered the garage door behind the car. The girl made her way into the house as Anton gathered the various items he'd brought from his old house. He carried all the gear into the living room and set it in the middle of the floor. The girl quietly wandered about the room, looking at everything and, every once in a while, reaching out to touch something. Again, she did not pick anything up, she just touched items that seemed to catch her interest, almost as if she were testing whether or not they were real. Anton had wanted to ask her about what happened on the bridge, but she seemed too fragile to go into that right now. She still seemed rather out of touch, like she was day-dreaming.

"So, what do you think?" Anton asked her, motioning to all the provisions stacked around the room. She looked at him for a moment and then turned to look around the room. She looked back at Anton and cocked her head a bit. It reminded Anton of the motion a dog makes when it hears a strange sound. The thought made him smirk and his change in expression seemed to startle the girl. She looked quickly to the ground and then walked quietly over to the sliding doors and sat down, Indian-style, in front of them. She placed both hands on the window and stared outside. Her small hands were splayed against the glass in such a way that they reminded Anton of pictures he’d seen of tree frogs clinging to the glass walls of zoo terrariums and he smiled a bit. Outside, the gray sky was cold as steel and the water out in the channel looked like ink.

"So, are you hungry?" Anton asked.

The girl didn't even move this time, she just continued to stare out the window.

"Sheesh, you're starting to give me the heebie-jeebies" Anton whispered as he pulled a can of beef stew out of the case near the sliding doors. He then grabbed a few pieces of wood and in a few minutes had a good fire going in the stove. He put a pot on the stove and emptied the contents of the can of stew into the pot. The aroma of the cooking food soon permeated the room.

"Smells good, huh?" Anton attempted once again to elicit some sort of response from the girl. This time she did turn to look at him, but still she said nothing. Her eyes looked vacant, again like she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Do you know how to talk?" Anton asked, making gestures with his hands around his mouth. She simply stared. He couldn't see any visible scars that would account for an inability to speak, she looked pretty healthy, just a little dirty and disheveled.

"Where do you live?" Anton asked. She stared at him for a moment longer and then turned back to the window. "Suit yourself" Anton muttered as he pulled a couple of bowls down from the cupboard and ladled some stew into each of them. He walked over and set one of the bowls next to the girl and stuck a spoon in it. He then set down next to her with his own bowl and started eating. He too looked out the window at the ocean and quietly munched on his stew. Out of the corner of his eye, Anton saw the girl turn and watch him eat. She then looked down at the bowl next to her and reached out and touched the rim of the bowl with the tip of her index finger. She held it there for a moment and then put her hand back on the window and stared once again out into the increasing gloom of the afternoon.

Hours later as Anton sat cleaning the various firearms, the girl was still seated in front of the window with the uneaten bowl of stew next to her. After verifying that each of the guns was properly cleaned and reassembled, Anton rose and walked back over to the glass doors and sat down beside the girl once again.

"Not hungry, huh?" he quipped. "Well, I know you may have been through a lot lately, so there's no need to rush. I'll leave the bowl here and you can eat it when you feel like it." He reached out to pat the top of her head and felt her stiffen when his hand made contact. She didn't pull away, but there was a definite sense of fear in her reaction. He patted her head a couple times. He wanted to ask her again about the strange happenings on the bridge and whether she'd seen the creature before, but he felt she still wasn't ready to talk about it. She seemed to be in a state of shock.

"Well, I am going to bed. I'll get you some blankets. There are beds upstairs. I've been sleeping here in the living room because it is warmer, but you feel free to do whatever you like." With that he stood and went upstairs to gather some other blankets. As he walked into the master bedroom, his eyes locked on the figure seated against the sliding doors and he jumped involuntarily, and then he realized he had not moved the body of the old man.

Shit, he thought, gonna have to move that before the girl sees it. Then he realized she'd probably already seen much worse. He decided, however, that he would still move the body down to the beach and bury it first thing in the morning. Then he grabbed a couple of blankets off the bed and walked back down stairs.

"Here you go," he said as he dropped the two blankets next to her on the floor. "Those should keep you warm."

The girl turned and looked down at the blankets and then back up at him. She stared into his eyes for a moment and then turned to look out the window again. Anton walked over to the other side of the room where his own sleeping bag was laid out. He pulled off his shoes and his sweatshirt and climbed into the bag. He lay there for several minutes watching the girl. As the room continued to darken, she sat motionless, hands pressed against the glass, staring out into the growing night. What a strange kid, he mused to himself. Wonder what she has seen that screwed her up so much? His mind was full of images of the strange black creature as he tried to sleep. Had the girl seen it before? Had she witnessed something terrible that had caused her to quit speaking? Images of the gunfight on the bridge flashed through his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

Anton's dreams were dark and haunted. He had visions of the black beast pursuing him and of his attempts to protect the girl from it. Again and again he would fail and the beast would devour the girl in front of him, ripping her limb from limb while he sat helpless watching. His arms and legs refusing to respond. He was unable to prevent the horrible maulings or escape from the vision of them. He found himself reliving the terrible scene in countless situations, over and over again until finally he awoke, covered in sweat, to the welcome sight of daylight filtering through the sliding glass doors.

Anton sat up and looked around. The girl was nowhere to be seen. The blankets were as he had left them and the bowl was still sitting on the floor, although it was now empty. Anton rose quickly and looked outside at the beach. There was no one there. He looked in the garage and then ran up the stairs. He checked the master bedroom first and didn't see her. A startled raven, however, jumped from the corpse on the deck, causing Anton to jump back, swearing. He checked the other rooms quickly and was starting to panic. Where would she go? Why would she leave?

Then, as he passed the master bedroom once more on his way back downstairs, the hairs on his neck began to prickle. He stopped short and turned and looked back into the master bedroom. Nothing had been disturbed. All was as he left it. But he could sense something in the room. He looked over at the wall of closet doors on the other side of the bed. One was slightly ajar and the black sliver of darkness exposed by it chilled him to the bone. All the guns were downstairs, but he made no move towards them, afraid that any motion might attract whatever was hiding there. He stood, frozen to the spot, staring at the blackness in the closet, waiting for his nightmare to reveal itself.

Nothing moved.

Then Anton saw the edge of the bed skirt flutter just a little. Keeping an eye on the closet door, he stooped down and peeked under the bed. There was the girl, lying under the bed, with a look of terror on her face. She looked pleadingly at Anton. He reached out to her and she withdrew from him, eyes filled with fear.

Anton looked at the closet again, but now the feeling of being watched had vanished. He stood and walked around the bed to the closet and flung the door open. Nothing but clothes and boxes met his gaze. There was no room in the closet for anything bigger than a hamster to hide itself. Anton turned back to the bed just in time to see the girl bolt from the room and run downstairs.

"Hey, wait!" He called after her as he followed her downstairs. He found her huddled in a corner of the living room behind some of the boxes of canned goods. As he approached her, she pulled her hood over her head and he could see she was trembling. It almost looked like she was crying, but no sound came from her.

"What's the matter?" Anton asked. She just scrunched her body up tighter and the shaking continued. Anton had no idea what to do. He wanted to comfort her, but she was obviously very much afraid of him at the moment. He wondered if maybe she was suffering from night terrors or something similar and perhaps she wasn't fully awake yet. He backed away from her and sat down in the middle of the living room floor, trying to figure out his best course of action. He decided to give her some time to relax, so he started building a fire for breakfast. During the process, he continued to talk to the girl, trying to relax her somewhat. He noticed that the trembling had stopped, but she was still bunched up in a tight little ball with her hood over her head. He dug through the supplies and found some Spam and some dehydrated eggs.

As he prepared the meal, he talked to the girl, asking her questions about what food she liked and what her favorite color was and what kind of music she liked. After about ten minutes, Anton saw her peek around the corner of the boxes. He grabbed a plate and put a piece of spam and some of the eggs on it and offered it to her. She made no sign of either desire or disdain. She just stared at him. Anton got up and walked towards her with the plate. She withdrew once again, but didn't cover her head this time. Instead she watched him with intense eyes. Anton stopped a few feet short of her and set the plate down in front of her.

"There you go," he said. "It ain't Wolfgang Puck but it should hold off starvation." He smiled weakly and walked back to the stove to prepare his own plate. When he had loaded his own plate he turned and sat down on the floor, facing her. The plate had been pulled back behind the boxes, and he could just see the top of her hood. There was some movement and he assumed she was eating the food, so he started in on his own. After he finished, Anton took his dish into the kitchen. When he came back out into the living room, the girl was standing in the middle of the room holding her plate. The food was uneaten, but looked like she had shoved it around on the plate a bit. She held it out to him. He took the plate and set it on the counter. When he turned back she was watching him closely and appeared ready to bolt at any moment. This behavior was becoming more and more unnerving to Anton.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, which seemed to be little more than adding voice to what was running through his head.

She looked at him for several moments and Anton got the impression she was sizing him up. Finally she walked over to him and grabbed the cuff of his shirt sleeve and tugged gently in the direction of the front door. He wasn't sure what to make of this at first, and hesitated ever so slightly. She paused and looked up at him and her eyes seemed to plead with him again and she tugged softly on his sleeve, again leading him towards the door.

At the door, she hesitated. She looked at him, then at the door handle, then back up at him. "What?" Anton asked, watching the girl closely. She looked up at him again and then back down at the door handle. He reached out and touched the door handle and saw her stiffen somewhat. He began to draw his hand back when she placed her hand on his. She looked up at him again. Anton turned the knob and pulled the door open. His jaw dropped in utter shock at the scene that met his gaze. He felt his head reeling and thought he was going to faint. He slumped against the side of the door jam and sat down hard on the floor. He couldn't pull his eyes away from the carnage.

In front of the house there were three cars. One was parked within inches of the garage door. The other two were parked in a line behind it. All three were large four wheel drive vehicles. It looked to Anton like there had been two or three people in each of the vehicles. What was left of them was strewn all about the driveway. Anton leaned forward , his head swimming. A wave of nausea swept over him and he gagged a bit.

"Oh my god... " he whispered, as he tried to stand up. He staggered a bit and then stumbled down the front steps and caught himself on the fender of the first car just before he fell. He stood there for a moment catching his breath. A couple of ravens scattered and flew cawing into the trees nearby. Anton turned to look back at the girl and saw that there was blood splashed against the house and some of the arcs reached up onto the second floor walls. There was a forearm laying on the awning above the front door. In the grass, not ten feet from where Anton stood was the lower half of a body. The tattered jeans and rough leather boots were untouched, but the spine stuck out of the bloody mess of the hips at an obscene angle. Black clotted bits of blood and flesh hung from it.

Anton staggered up the driveway looking into each car as he passed. Each was splattered with blood. Each had parts of the original occupants still inside. And each had the roof of the vehicle nearly torn off. There was broken glass and torn metal all around the vehicles. And as Anton's mind began to clear and he was able to pick out more details, he began to notice the ragged punctures in the steel and plastic of the car bodies that looked like they were made by very large teeth or claws. It was also at this point that Anton realized that there were no heads. He realized he was struggling to identify these people and that all that was left of them were arms and legs and in some cases, partial torsos.

He looked back at the girl. She was watching him closely. She had stepped back inside the door but left it open. "What the hell is going on?!" Anton screamed at her. She stiffened and looked ready to run at any moment. "What did this?" he hissed. "Was it that thing from the bridge? Was it that thing?!?"

Something in the girl's demeanor convinced Anton that she knew what had done this. Worse still, he was getting the feeling that she thought he was somehow involved. But there was no way he could have done this. His head started to spin again. Why hadn't he heard any of this? Could he really have slept through all of this? He hadn't heard any of the cars drive up. He hadn't heard any noise or commotion, and judging from all the blood, broken glass and torn metal, there certainly had been a commotion, and not a little one. How could he have slept through this? What were these people doing here? How had they even found him? Even as he thought it, he looked up at the chimney. Obviously. The smoke from the stove had guided them. But what happened to them? What the hell happened to them?

Anton's head began to clear again and he looked around once more. This time he was looking for details, looking for clues. He picked his way through the cars and then began searching the nearby bushes. After about an hour, he had several body parts and six firearms stacked next to the first vehicle. It looked like there were seven people from the remains. All men. All unidentifiable. The hand that he'd seen on the roof was all that was left of the seventh. He'd been able to piece together the other six based on clothing remnants and skin type. The hand on the roof, however, was a definite outlier. It was the hand of a black man. The rest were all caucasian.

Finding no other items in the vehicles besides extra ammo for the various firearms, Anton sat down on the edge of the driveway and tried to reason out what had happened. Why had these men come out here? His best assumption was that these men were affiliated with those on the bridge who had shot at him. Maybe someone had seen him drive away. They probably sent out a group to finish what the guys on the bridge had started. These men had probably been scouring the road for any sign of life just as he had done earlier. They'd probably seen his smoke and then waited till nightfall to come in.

But then what happened? He looked around at the cars. Whatever had done this was very big and very strong. He remembered the black feet he'd seen while peeking from under the car on the bridge. Was that beast really big enough to do this or was there more than one monster running around. The image of the beast lunging across the road filled his mind. Maybe there were several of these things.

Anton looked at the girl again. She was still standing quietly in the door. "Did you see what did this?" he asked quietly. She didn't move, but her eyes seemed to flutter a bit. He got up and started walking towards her and she stepped back reflexively. Anton paused. "Do you think I had something to do with this?" he asked, his voice a little more strident than before. Her eyes widened a little and he saw her nervously clenching her little hands into fists. "I didn't do this," he stated flatly, trying to tone down the emotion in his voice. "I couldn't do this."

His emotions got the better of him and he broke down again, slumping against the side of the car nearest him. He slid down to a sitting position, his back against the front tire and covered his face with his hands and cried quietly for several minutes, his breathing ragged. Darkness seemed to be closing in around him. Then he felt her hand on his head. Light and very cool, she laid her small hand on the top of his head. He slowly pulled his hands away from his face. She was standing next to him, her arm outstretched, hand on his head. She stared down at him, her face devoid of emotion. Her hand on his head calmed him somehow. As his heartbeat and breathing slowed once more, Anton realized this was the first time he had been touched by another human being since Larissa had died. The realization caused him to tear up again.

He sat there quietly for some time. He didn’t even notice that the girl had gone back inside. When he finally regained his composure, he dried his eyes and surveyed the carnage once again. Now, however, he felt as if this were somehow familiar. Then he saw it. The flies congregating on the blood spatters on the front of the house. The pattern was very similar to the houses on Meander way. Anton stood up and looked around, remembering the other houses now with their windows busted in on one side and busted out on the other. Maybe those people hadn’t killed each other either. Maybe that beast had attacked the houses there as well. But if so, why hadn’t the beast busted in and killed me and the girl? This thought nagged at Anton as he set to work cleaning up the mess.

It took Anton all morning and most of the afternoon to clean up the driveway and the front of the house. Although all the cars were severely damaged, he managed to get the one furthest from the house to start and used it to pull the other two away from the house and out of the driveway so he could access the Subaru in the garage. The house had a private well, so there was plenty of water for the clean up, but it was rather cold work since there was no water heater and it was only about sixty degrees outside. Anton found a hose and sprayed the blood off the front of the house and washed the steps. He then sprayed down the driveway. Crows and ravens had congregated throughout the morning, waiting for their chance to get at the remains.

Anton had moved all the body parts down to the beach, near where the graves of the home's original occupants were located. He found some large black trash bags in the garage to use for the remains. As he was carrying the parts out to the beach, he remembered the body of the old man up on the deck. After carefully arranging the bags next to the other graves, he walked up to the house from the beach. As he came up the steps onto the lower deck, he could see the girl in the living room. She was once again in front of the window, both hands on the glass. For a moment she didn't move and her eyes were distant, as if she were looking through him at something in the distance. Her expression changed suddenly and her eyes zeroed in on his and she sat for a moment just looking into his eyes. Then, she stood up and took a step back from the door. Anton walked up and slid the door open. She continued to look up at him as he stepped past her and headed for the stairs.

In the master bedroom, Anton grabbed the sheet off the bed to use to wrap the body of the old man. As he stepped out onto the deck, something caught his eye and he paused mid-stride. The old man's hands had been rearranged in his lap and were now both clutching a small bouquet of wildflowers. Anton's chest tightened as he carefully took the flowers from the man's hands and laid them aside. He then laid out the sheet on the deck and gently rolled the man's body onto the sheet so that he was face down. He wrapped the two edges of the sheet over the man and then rolled him over onto his back again and tied the corners of the sheet across his chest. He then picked up the corpse and hoisted it over his shoulder. He carried it downstairs and out the sliding doors and down to the beach. He laid the body gently next to the others and stood looking at them for a moment. He was just about to turn to go back to the house for the shovel when he noticed the girl standing next to him. In her hands were the flowers. She walked forward and placed them on the chest of the old man and then stepped back and kneeled in the sand next to him with her hands clasped in her lap. Anton stood quiet for a moment, thinking that there should be something he could say, but feeling that the silence was more appropriate.

The girl stood at the edge of the deck and watched quietly as Anton buried the bodies on the beach. The digging took most of the afternoon and the light was getting dim when he patted the last shovel full of earth into place. He stood staring at the mounds of earth for a moment and turned and looked back up at the girl on the deck. Her eyes were focused on the graves. She didn't look at Anton as he walked slowly up the beach and then up the stairs to stand next to her. The two stood silently for a long while, staring down at the mounds of earth. Then, the girl turned and walked into the house. Anton followed her into the living room.

"Did you know any of those people?" Anton asked as he washed his hands in the kitchen sink. The girl didn't respond. Instead, she glanced around the living room and then she lowered her eyes and stared at her hands, folded in her lap. Anton stared at her for a moment, then he walked over and sat down next to her. "So are you ever going to talk to me?" he asked. She looked up into his eyes and then back down at her hands. Anton was pretty sure she could understand him. "You know," he said, "I had a little girl just a little bit younger than you." The girl looked up into his eyes once more and this time she didn't look away. "My little girl was only five when she got sick. Her name was Celeste. You probably didn't know her… I think she was a little younger than you. But she was cute just like you. I think you would have liked her." Anton paused for a moment as his eyes clouded with memories of his lost wife and daughter. "You would have liked her mommy too," he whispered. Anton looked into the girl's eyes once more. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" She just stared up at him. "What about your parents? Did you live over in Douglas?" Still nothing but her quiet, fixed attention.

"We have to find people," he finally blurted out. "It is too dangerous to be alone. I don't know what's going on, I don't know what killed those people. We need to find other people, normal people, who can help us find out what is going on. Do you understand?" The girl reached out and put her hand on his. There was no squeezing and her hand felt rather cool. She simply set her hand on his for a moment. Then she stood and walked back to the sliding glass doors and sat down, just as she had the night before, with her hands against the glass. She turned and looked over her shoulder at Anton. Their eyes met once more and she held his gaze for a moment. Then she turned and stared out into the growing night.

Anton stood and was about to start a fire in the wood stove when he caught himself. He looked up at the point where the chimney pipe exited the ceiling and then looked out the kitchen window at the darkness beyond. He'd not had a fire going all day. If anyone else came looking, he didn't want to make it obvious where they were. So, instead, he rummaged through the supplies. He quickly found the little sterno fuel cans he'd seen earlier and popped one open and set it on top of the wood stove. He then lit the sterno and the pale blue cone of flame flickered out of the top of the can. Anton then grabbed a couple cans of vegetable soup and poured them into a saucepan and held it over the sterno flame.

"We'll decide what we are going to do tomorrow..." he said, the words trailing off in the silence. Somehow, he knew that the girl would go along with whatever he decided, he just wished he could get some sort of emotional response from her. She had been with him now for two days and yet he still felt alone. Afraid and alone.

Later that evening as Anton sat in the living room eating his dinner and watching the girl poke at hers, Anton once again started thinking of the future. He was determined now that he would leave Juneau and seek out other survivors, hopefully more friendly than those he'd found here. And he definitely wanted to leave the whole situation as far behind as possible. The girl sat in the center of the floor with her face just inches from her bowl as she poked and prodded the food, like it was some sort of research experiment. Every once in a while, she would look up at Anton for a moment, and then return to her prodding of the vegetables and bits of chicken floating in the broth. When Anton finally put his own bowl in the sink and climbed into his sleeping bag, she was still inspecting her uneaten food. As Anton drifted off to sleep, the girl paused in her prodding and her attention shifted from her bowl to his sleeping face. She stared for a moment then rose, and took her bowl to the sliding door. She quietly slid the door open and walked out off the deck and into the bushes at the side of the house. When she returned the bowl was empty. She padded softly back into the house and placed the empty bowl in the middle of the floor and then turned back to the sliding door. She sat down, Indian-style, in front of the door and placed both hands against the glass. Her eyes became distant and her body stiffened a little.

#apocalyptic fiction #creative writing #first novel #new fiction #pandemic fiction #book publishing #booklover #fiction books #harper collins #random house #simon schuster

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oflgtfol · 1 year

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the idea of a catholic based mental health clinic just gives me the heebie jeebies. like one of the very first things that made me start losing faith in the church due to its institutionalized cruelty, is the catholic view of mental health, by which i mean the whole idea that committing suicide is one of the worst sins you can commit and will automatically land you in hell is just so utterly heinous and unsympathetic.

i was 11 years old and my only mental health problem at the time was my childhood anxiety, which surprise surprise, the catholic church definitely took advantage of in a way that i know fucked me over even worse than my peers going through the same religious education classes. so even though i didnt really consider myself mentally ill at the time, i was definitely subconsciously sympathetic due to my own struggles, and also just, i mean it’s fucking common sense and basic human compassion, when someone takes their own life then that’s the ultimate sign of suffering, i was 11 and even then before i truly developed my own moral backbone it just seemed so fucking cruel to victim blame people who are literally fucking mentally ill and going through such shit that they’d rather die by their own hand than continue living. it’s one thing to say oh its a sin :( dont do it :( and it’s another thing to say YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO TO HELL AND SUFFER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY IF YOU DO IT. like as if someone who is already suffering in life enough to kill themself, now deserves to continue suffering even worse, even longer for all of eternity, in the flames of hell? what exactly does that solve? it’s just so fucking cruel for no fucking reason.

and the thing that really made this my breaking point with losing faith in the church and the religion as a whole, is that i tried to poke holes in the logic of this rule, find if there was any leniency at all in it, due to aforementioned cruelty. i asked my teacher, what if someone killed themself as a sacrifice to save other lives? what if killing themself saved literally All Of Humanity? (my inspiration here was robin williams’ character in the movie independence day. lol.) and my teacher said. i actually dont know, let me get back to you on that when i ask the church higher ups. which the fact she was UNCERTAIN and needed to ASK already filled me with doubt. and then she did get back to me the next week and she said. yeah actually you would still go to hell for that. because you killed yourself. and it was just the most, utter absolute outrage and injustice that filled my 11 year old body. you hate people who commit suicide so much that even if you do it for some higher noble cause, literally saving the entire fucking human race, you still go to hell.

and i must stress this, because this is what the church stressed to me: hell is Hell. you will be burning. in excruciating pain, because burning alive is one of the worst pains imaginable. and you will be burning alive for all of eternity. not one hour. not one day. not one year. not five years. not fifty years. not a century. but forever. forever and ever with no end in sight and you will suffer for your sin, your sin of committing suicide, because God gave you the ultimate Gift Of Life and you had the audacity to throw that away. dont you know God loves you? He gave you life and this is what you do with His gift? you make Him sad when you sin like this. so you have to suffer for it. for all of eternity.

it is just. so fucking heinous and so fucking ableist and actively hostile to mentally ill people, and because this applies even to people who kill themselves as a sacrifice, frankly just hostile to human life in general. i mean you want someone to let the entire human race die? because the only way to save the entire human race is to kill yourself? how is that at all sympathetic to humanity as a whole? its just indicative of the ironclad control the church has, the godfear it relies on to keep people in line, the way it wields the idea of hell to scare people down to their very bones. and i mean godfear is a problem in all denominations of christianity but i think this aspect of it is uniquely catholic, or maybe thats just because i was raised catholic and dont know other denominations’ take on the whole suicide thing.

and again i must stress this uniquely targets mentally ill people! because humanity-saving-suicides do not happen often but mentally ill people committing suicide is! so when catholics have such a heinous, unsympathetic, absolutely hostile view of mentally ill people, i just do not enjoy the idea of a CATHOLIC MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC. i do not trust that they are approaching their services in a truly compassionate way. it just sounds like yet another front where they can do a charity case and say oh look at us, we’re such good christians, helping our fellow human beings, by preventing them from doing SIN!!!! which is just NOT the way to approach healthcare!! you should want to help people because they are sick and suffering and deserve to feel better and recover! NOT because you view them as potential sinners and you’re trying to like, rehabilitate these sinners! its like, a missionary mindset, not an actual healthcare mindset, of viewing these people not as patients in need but as sinners. and maybe im projecting like maybe there are catholic mental health clinics that are able to separate religion and healthcare, but the idea is still just so fundamentally skeevy to me that i wouldnt trust any catholic based clinic

#brot posts #sorry. the counseling service on campus recommended me some people off campus since im graduating #and the one is catholic and i saw just that one word and was instantly like. oh hell no #and i told my therapist i was like. im not exactly comfortable with that #and she was like oh im sure they accept all denominations #and its like naur lol i was raised catholic its not like im protestant its that i was raised catholic and therefore i hate catholicism #i havent even touched my religious baggage w her yet lmao 😭😭 so i just left it at ‘im uncomfortable with it’#long post #like lowkey this reminds me of the idea of christian based food pantries #just the way it preys on vulnerable people as a way to project christianity onto them #either as a conversion tactic or as a christian charity feel good scheme #its just so skeevy!!#my mindset is that if you happen to be christian and you genuinely want to do good. literally why do you have to bring religion into it #like you can easily just make a secular food pantry or a secular clinic #if you establish it with your religion in mind then obviously your religion is important to the organization’s entire existence #and therefore influences its practices and mission goals #and therefore influences the way you will interact with guests and patients .#and therefore: i dont trust it !!

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multifandomlover01 · 2 years

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Are My Eyes Yellow?

Snafu x Female!Corpsman!Reader (but it isn’t in second person, it’s in third)

Word Count: ~1.4k

Disclaimer: I do not own The Pacific, nor any characters or scenes from it. All credits go the the rightful owners.

Warning: mentions of anxiety/anxiety attack (although it’s vague and, funnily enough, I don’t think it’s very well written)

“Are my eyes yellow?”

“Why would your eyes be yellow?”

“Come on, your old man's a doctor. Look at my eyes.”

“Give it a rest, Snafu.”

“Seriously. I'm getting that yellow jaundice that's been going around. I know it. The heebie-jeebies.”

“It's hepatitis. And you don't have it.”

“I'll catch a fever then turn inside out through my asshole like Carson in Love company. Come on, look at my eyes. I'm dying, Sledge.”

“Hey,” Jay greeted as he entered the tent.

“Hey. Check out my eyes, Jay. They look yellow?”

“Snafu, if you’re so damn concerned about your eyes, still, why don’t you go see a Corpsman?”

“Maybe I will.”

“I just got transferred out of King.”

“What?

Where?”

“Headquarters company.”

“It'll be all right, Jay.”

“Shit. You're just down the road.”

“Yeah, I'm just down the road. Least I can do is buy you guys a drink at the slop chute.”

“You three go on ahead, I gotta get my eyes checked out.”

Sledge scoffed.

Snafu could hear Burgin ask what he was on about now and Sledge proceed to explain as he went to find a Corpsman.

He saw a figure with a little red cross stitched onto their uniform.

“Excuse me?” He called out.

The figure turned around and Snafu was surprised to see that it was a woman.

At first he was confused. But then he realized it obviously wasn’t a mistake that this woman was wearing a Marine uniform. But he still wondered why she was.

“Yes? May I help you?”

Snafu decided to not outright ask about why she was wearing the uniform, as it would’ve been rude. He decided to pursue his original intention instead.

“Could you look at my eyes, ma’am? I think they’re yellow.”

“Certainly.”

She stood in front of him. Surprisingly, instead of standing on her tiptoes, she grabbed his face, lowered it so he was eye level with her, and held it there. She examined his eyes. She let go of his face and patted his cheek.

“You’re fine.”

She turned around and walked away.

“A-are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Your eyes are not yellow at all. They’re quite white, I assure you.”

She proceeded to the medical tent.

Snafu stood frozen in place for a minute, not quite sure what had just happened.

Regaining his senses, he followed the woman into the tent.

He located her and went over to her.

“You’re absolutely sure I don’t have jaundice?”

“Yes.”

“My eyes aren’t yellow?”

“No, they aren’t.”

“I don’t have a fever, do I?”

She felt his forehead.

“No, you don’t.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m quite sure. What’s your name?”

“Merriell Shelton.”

[finish later]

——————————————————————————

“You see that? Line of stars angling up?”

“Yup,” Burgin replied, not knowing where Snafu was going with this, but was intrigued nonetheless.

“That's Snafu's pecker.”

There was gun fire in the distance.

“Hey, boys,” Mac greeted as he approached, stumbling as he did.

“You've got a nice little party going on down there, Lieutenant,” Burgin observed.

“Ah. A little victory party,” Mac replied, “can't believe it's over, huh? Sort of a ‘What do you do now?’ Here,” he handed the bottle to Sledge, who handed it to Burgin, “have a little V-J Day party of your own.”

“Thanks, Lieutenant,” Sledge said.

“‘What do we do now?’ What an idiot,” Snafu shook his head.

“Well, I'll show you what I'm doing now,” Burgin said as he opened the bottle and drank from it, “well, there it is: my first official act of peacetime. Snaf.”

He offered the bottle to Snafu.

After Snafu drank from the bottle, he handed it to Sledge.

“And I’ll show you what I’m doing now.”

He jumped down from the rocks and left the two.

Burgin and Sledge exchanged confused glances before they realized where Snafu was headed. They both continued to drink from the bottle, toasting to those that had died, and wishing Snafu luck in his endeavor.

Snafu made his way to the Battalion medical tent.

He heard hurried footsteps and clanking as he approached. He entered the tent to see her scrambling around. He didn’t announce his presence. He just stood near the entrance of the tent, watching her.

It took her a few minutes to notice him. She was too busy to right away. She jumped when she did look in his direction, not expecting him to be there.

“Geez, Shelton, give a girl a heart attack, why don’t you?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at him, not quite believing him.

“What do you need?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged.

“Then why are you here?”

“I just wanted to see you on this fine eve of victory.”

“That’s nice, but I’m afraid I’m quite busy.”

“What’re you doing?”

“All of the medical supplies has to be inventoried.”

“Why do you have to do it? All by yourself, too?”

“I don’t. But I sent all the other nurses and Corpsmen away.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m nice. And I hate myself, apparently.”

“Why don’t I help you?”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“What if I want to?”

“Why would you want to?”

“Because a beautiful girl such as yourself shouldn’t have to do all this work all by herself.”

Snafu flirting with her wasn’t something new. He did it often. So she was used to it. And she swore it didn’t affect her. But she wasn’t so sure of that anymore. The longer he did it, the more she was convinced he actually liked her and wasn’t just doing it to annoy her or because she was one of the only women he saw.

She really didn’t want to do all of the work by herself, so she let him help. But it soon turned out to be too good to be true. Having had numerous interactions with Merriell Shelton, she knew that he was kind of a hot mess. He nearly broke some vials trying to carry too many at one time. And he had trouble putting things in the place where she told him to.

“I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this. I guess I’m a lot better at killing than I am at organizing.”

“It’s not for everyone.”

“Is there anyway else I can help you? I could get you some water, or something to eat.”

See, this wasn’t flirting. This was concern. This was care.

“That would be nice. I haven’t had water or food in a while.”

“Alright. I’ll see what I can scrounge up.”

He left.

And, unfortunately, at just the wrong time.

Because guns, flares and firecrackers started to pick up. And she became increasingly anxious. She was easily startled. She didn’t like all the commotion that was going on. It was only a matter of time before an anxiety attack started.

Every few seconds, there was some kind of loud noise. And she would jump. Her anxiety rose each time. Never knowing when the next one would come. You’d think she’d get used to it after a while, but she was not merely annoyed by the noise. She was living in a state of constant fear.

It peaked only after a couple of minutes. Her breath quickened. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. The noise just wouldn’t stop. And it was so loud.

She couldn’t concentrate on work anymore. She sat down on the floor (ground), her back against the flap of the tent, her head in between her knees. She tried to block out the noise as best she could, but it only did so much.

By the time Snafu got back, she was shaking and crying. He didn’t know where she was at first, not being able to see her. He called out to her, but all he got in response was a sob.

But he was able to locate her because of that. He knelt down beside her.

“You alright, ma cherie?”

She knew enough French to know what that meant. She shook her head, tears still spilling from her eyes.

“What’s the matter?”

“N-noise,” she choked out.

“You don’t like the noise?”

Just then, a firecracker went off, causing her to yelp and bury her head between her knees.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” He maneuvered himself so he was sitting next to her and he put his arm around her. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you. Not while I’m here.”

She leaned into him, welcoming his strong arms being wrapped around her. They provided much comfort.

After a few more minutes (and a few more firecrackers), she had finally calmed down. Her breathing and heart rate had evened.

[finish]

#snafu shelton x reader #the pacific x reader #merriell shelton x reader

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your-averagewriter · 2 years

Text

Arkham breakout.

Summary: Jerome plans to break out of Arkham with Jervis Tetch, Jonathon Crane and his partner. It's based on the one episode in season 4.

Includes: Violence, blood, insanity? and canon-level warnings

Word count: 0.8K words (sorry, it's short)

Pacing back and force in my cell I twirl my hair around my finger smiling maniacally. Today’s the day.

Suddenly I hear a knock at my door and a rhyming introduction. The cell door opens and a young officer steps aside revealing Jervis Tetch.

“Good day, my dear.” He greets, smiling.

“Right on time, Mr Tetch.” I say with an excited smile. I step outside of my cell and follow behind the two men and the officer. We walk down the hallways towards Jerome’s cell and I pull out the knife from my pocket as an un-hypnotized officer runs towards us.

He looks at us before cocking his gun, I duck and slide underneath him slitting his throat. He falls to his knees right in front of me so I grab his horrified and scared face.

“Why so serious?” I say slowly as I see the life drain from his face. I cackle as I stand back up looking just in time to see Jerome push open his cell doors.

I start jumping up and down as the alarms go off, the red lights flashing.

He walks out checking his watch before speaking.

“When I say, “three hairs past a freckle,” gentlemen, I do not mean five hairs past.” He looks back up at them before continuing. “Let’s do better next time, hmm?” He says walking towards me and throwing his arm over my shoulders.

“Mind both “P’s” and “Q’s”, Valeska. We are not your militia to be becked and called.” They both walk towards him, I imagine trying to be intimidating.

“I dread to think where you’d be without us.” Scarecrow says and I must admit that his mask is quite something to see.

“Boys, boys, let’s-” I clear my throat and he looks at me. “Right, ladies as well, let’s, uh, not squabble too early in our partnership.”

“Right.” I say still smiling. “There’ll be plenty of time to stab each other in the backs later. But for now, let’s stick to Jerome’s plan and everyone will get what they want.”

“Well said.” Jerome says, tilting his head.

“An earthly kingdom of terror.” Mr Crane says, his voice slightly muffled by the mask.

“A piece of Gotham pie, both sky and high.” Mr Tetch continues.

“That’s the spirit. Think big. And kinky.” He walks forward myself in tow before stopping seeing the young officer.

“And lose the weirdo. She’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.” He says looking repulsed.

“Your work is done, my dear. Your race is all run.” Jervis says.

“Glad to be of help.” She says before passing over the keys then slitting her own throat.

“Now that gave me the heebie-jeebies.” I say shivering slightly.

“Much better. Now, to free the rest of our cronies, and blow this pop stand.”

We venture through the facility and unlock all the cell doors letting out the rest of the criminally insane. I laugh as I watch the cameras seeing them all escape out into the courtyard.

“This is such fun!” I say to Jerome almost jumping around.

“Oh, I know, my sweet. Isn’t it such a beautiful sight?” He shouts, dramatically referencing the havoc and chaos we’d created.

“Beautiful indeed.” I say grinning eye to eye.

Once satisfied with the state of the building we wander down outside into the courtyard. Walking out and man bumps into me clearly in some dream-like state.

“Enjoy yourself!” I say pointing him towards his freedom but he grabs onto my hips. My face distorts as he doesn’t let go of me. “Get off!” I yell stamping on his foot almost hoping that he doesn’t so I can kill him. “Fine.” I say pulling out my knife and quickly slitting his throat causing blood to spray out of the wound.

He falls to the ground and I groan as his blood is smeared down my striped dress.

Quickly catching up with the others a little ahead of me I carefully maneuver my knife back into my belt (under the dress).

I huff as I walk next to Jerome crossing my arms.

“Whoa! What happened to you?” He says looking at the blood on my dress.

“Some fool wouldn’t let go of me,” I say slightly angered as we make our way through the crowd of crazy people. Some of the prisoners form an arch out of whatever tools they could find so that we can walk under. I curtsy as they all cheer for us. Jerome salutes them as the police officers start to gain some control.

I blow kisses and make funny hand signals as I walk beside Jerome. I run ahead and unlock the main gate pushing it open letting all the criminals aout. I throw my head back chuckling to myself as I rejoin the others.

“Onward march!” Jerome shouts.

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Sorry it's short, I've got writer's block at the moment.

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sttarkeys · 2 years

Text

𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲: part one

summary: what happens when the orginal group come across the saviors, we all know that some do not survive- but what happens when the missing red headed girl by the name of geneviève williows returns from some kind of death- but in her place more were hurt than saved. pairing: geneviève williows x daryl dixon (parental), geneviève williows x car grimes (lovers eventually), harper williows (sister), and the rest of the group will have their mentions also warnings: death of major characters ( if you have not seen the season 7 premiere of TWD then do not read at all, confession of love, grief, swearing, blood, word count: requested?: No, one of my own fandom/tv show: The Walking Dead on AMC spoilers?: YES, major character deaths

Just because my work is on this platform does not mean that anyone can use it, if you are wanting it share it on any other platform please message me and get permission, cheers and thanks :) also the story line is slightly changed to fir my story.

(my gif)

The run started out like any other that she had done with the rest of the group, it had been six months since her injury, six months since she watched her best-friend be stabbed the to death, six months since the woman who she saw as a mother be eaten alive by the walkers. Before Ron died in front of her he let off two rounds, one hitting her in her shoulder- the other one hitting Carl Grimes in his left eye, even though that she was shot the red headed girl was more worried about the taller boy next to her. And it had been six months since her older sister Harper had gone missing. It had been a located that their group had been to more then once beforehand, there were never any walkers around, but today was not their lucky day, Geneviève was with Daryl and abraham as they were all scoping out the place once more before they got what they needed from the store that they were in. “All I can say is that this places gives me the heebie-jeebies.” geneviève says as she follows behind daryl. All the older man does is turn his head and brought his finer to his lips to asked her to be quite. She gives him a look of sorry and continues on focusing on the areas around her.

- Geneviève had been separated from the two older men when the heard of the walkers made their way through the store that the group were in. “Daryl! Daryl!” Geneviève called out to the vest wearing man as she continued to kill every dead one in her way. “Geneviève, we will get you stay where you are!” Daryl yelled back to the younger girl, but of course she did not listen to him, she helped the rest of the group by dragging the heard of the walkers away from Alexandria and back from where they came from. Which she did not know at the time would be one of the worst decisions that she would make in her life. For the past six months her older sister Harper has been missing, there were a slight few who still believed that the older Williows girl was alive, but the rest of the group knew that she was dead- no they did not witness her death they all just a had a gut feeling that the fiery red headed sister of Geneviève Williows was dead and they all knew who to blame. And now Geneviève was about to have the same fate as her older sister. -

Geneviève had dragged the walkers almost ten miles away from Alexandria, she knew it was the right thing to do, other wise her home would be toast and she would rather loose her life then the rest of her family loose theirs. She flashed the bright light onto the face of her wrist watch and she read that it had just gone after one am in the morning, she had to start to head back to Alexandria, she knew that everyone would be worrying about her, after all she was one of the youngest of the group. It was the screeching of the 4WD tires that scared her off of the middle of the road, the side of the road was covered with trees and forestation so there could be no way whoever it was who just scared the living daylights out of the girl could find her, she just had to stay quite, silent even. “Who’s out there!” A loud and deep voice called out to her, she kept quite and as close to the tree trunk as she could. “Step out from behind there, with your hands up, drop any weapons you have!” That was when she heard the gun clock in front of her. “Breathe, just breathe.” She mumbled to herself as she moved from behind the tree and made her was forward towards the man that was in front of her. “I said drop the weapon!” “How about you drop that gun of yours and we can talk this out!” Geneviève calls out the male, all she heard was laughter all around her. “You make one move love, and he will blow your brains out.” Geneviève hears these words in her right ear, there was a man behind her with a hand cupped around her mouth and the other wrapped around her torso. “Hey I think this is the other Williows girl! I remember that tall one talking about how she had a younger sister, look she is the spitting image of her.” This made Geneviève try to get herself out of the grip that he had on her. The blonde haired man that was in front of her dropped the gun to his side and walked down to where Geneviève and the other men were. His face was all deformed with burns, looked like the be from an iron of sorts, with a bushy deep blonde mustache and beard to pair with the messy blonde hair that Geneviève could see with the help of the flood lights that were coming from the 4WD behind him. “Oh and what else did Harper say she had?” Dwight said as he reached his hand out and pulled the girls jumper and shirt up slightly on her right side. “A gunshot scar the size of a dime above her right hip.” Dwight flashed his torch on the scar that was on the girls body. Geneviève began to thrash herself around more as Dwight had his fingers grazing the scar that was on her body. “Oh, Negan is gonna be happy with us. bag her and get here into the back of the truck.” Dwight instructed.

The man who had a hold of Geneviève picked her up off of the ground and on to his shoulders. “Put me down! Hey asshole! Let me go!” Geneviève yelled as she man who had her walked over to the back of the 4WD truck. “Asshole!” Geneviève yelled out as she was thrown onto the plate of the back of the truck. “Oh shut up!” That was the last thing she heard before a bag was placed over her head and she was knock out cold.

#the walking dead #saddie sink #carl grimes #geneviève williows #rick grimes #daryl dixon #carl grimes x oc #negan smith #twd season 7 #glen rhee #maggie rhee

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imagine-all-the-imagines · 3 years

Text

Casey Novak x F!Reader - Reader is being “protected” by the mafia and when the SVU tries to get her to work with them, the mafia lashes out.

Warnings: Violence, Financial troubles, break ins, threats, blood.

I hope you enjoy!

That morning started like any other. You got up and started breakfast, only to be interrupted by the patter of little feet running towards you. You smiled and turned to see the smiling face of your two-year-old bounding at your legs. Crouching down, you caught the laughing child and spun her around before balancing her on your hip while you continued to scramble the eggs in the pan.

“What do you think, baby? Eggs and pancakes for breakfast?” You asked the little one in your arms.

The girl in your arms giggled again and nodded her head as you set to work getting breakfast finished. When everything was cooked, you set your daughter down in her chair and got the plates together. As you sat down by her and got ready to help her cut up her pancakes, there was a knock at the door. You kissed your daughter’s forehead and went to the door, checking the peephole before cautiously opening the door.

“Hello ma’am, my name is Olivia Benson and I’m with the Special Victims Unit. Were you aware that there’s been a series of break ins in your neighborhood?” The woman in front of you spoke with an official voice.

You were taken aback, “Break ins? Is everyone ok?”

The woman gave you a sympathetic look, “Unfortunately no, there have been a few attacks.”

Shock jolted through you. You had moved to the neighborhood for the safety that it provided. You hadn’t had the best of luck in your past, but this was supposed to be a fresh start.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea. I haven’t noticed anything unusual.” You managed to sputter out.

At that moment, your daughter let out a cry and you gave the officer a guilty look. “I’m so sorry, I have to get my daughter, you caught us in the middle of breakfast.”

Olivia gave you a nod, “That’s fine, go take care of her. But ma’am, if you think of anything, or see anything, please don’t hesitate to call,” she produced a business card and handed it to you.

You nodded and took the card, as you headed back into your house.

As you closed the door, you turned the card over in your hands before placing it on the table by the door and heading back to feed your daughter.

You had only just cut the pancake into a few more pieces when your phone pinged.

Boss: Who was that at your door?

Y/N: The cops, apparently there’s been some break ins around the neighborhood and a couple of people have been attacked. They were asking if I had seen anything.

Boss: I see. Have you seen anything?

You suddenly felt a pit in your stomach. Something didn’t feel right as you typed out your response.

Y/N: Honestly, no. I didn’t know that anything had been happening.

There was a long pause before your phone pinged again.

Boss: Good. I’m glad you haven’t had any issues.

Boss: I need you to come in for a meeting later today. 1:00, at the diner.

Y/N: I’ll see you there.

You turned back to your daughter and gave her a tight-lipped smile as you tried not to show her you were nervous. As you both finished breakfast, you got your daughter out of her chair and placed her in her playroom where she immediately went for the stuffed animals in the corner. While she created her own world with her stuffed animals, you sat in the rocking chair and tried not to think about what was to come that afternoon.

While you were trying not to think of your day, other thoughts started to intrude. Memories of how you met this man started to creep in.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It was about three years ago; you had just been kicked out of your apartment due to not being able to pay your bills, and you were struggling. Your parents lived out of the country, and you couldn’t stay with them. Then you found out you were pregnant. That was your breaking point.

He found you when you came into a diner, looking for a cup of tea and maybe something to eat. You needed to warm up, the weather in New York could be unforgiving, and you had to keep yourself going, not just for yourself, but for the little bean growing inside you.

You had gone up to the counter and ordered, pulling out loose change and some crumpled bills to pay the waitress. You enjoyed the warmth of the diner as you waited for your food, unaware of the man in the corner booth watching you.

When your meal came out, you started eating. When you were about halfway done, you felt the presence of a someone sit next to you. You slowly looked up and saw that a man was looking down at you.

“Can I help you?” You asked as you wiped your mouth off with a napkin.

The man gave a short laugh, “Actually dear, I think it is I that can help you. You look like you’re in need of a place to stay, maybe a shower, and a few hot meals.”

You couldn’t deny that sounded nice, but you were hesitant. How could you trust this man, he could be trying to lure you away to cut you up and dump your remains in the river.

The man must have seen the hesitation in your face because he gave a boisterous laugh and smiled at you, “Trust me child, I mean you no harm, I just want to help you in these trying times.”

You rolled your eyes, “My momma always said, ‘Never trust anyone who says, “Trust me.”’ What makes you any different?”

The man looked you in the eye, suddenly very serious. “I never go back on my word. It’s very important to be a man of my word.”

You looked at him and you knew he was telling the truth. You were still hesitant, but you nodded. “I need help. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I lost my apartment, which led to me losing my job. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I’ve been living out of my car. And to top it all off I’m having a kid. I’ve been lucky enough to go to a free clinic to keep myself health, but I can’t do that forever.”

You found yourself telling this man everything. You couldn’t control it, it was basically word vomit, but when you were done, you looked up at him. He was nodding slightly and giving you a sympathetic look.

You suddenly didn’t have an appetite and pushed the plate away. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out money, putting it by your plate. He gently put his arm around you and led you out of the diner and into a very nice car that was waiting at the curb.

The man’s name turned out to be David, and he explained that he was the leader of an underground organization. You later learned this was code for he the leader of the mafia in Manhattan, that fact should have scared you away, but you were being taken care of. You knew that there was illegal activity happening, but you had been promised that so long as you stayed quiet, you’d be taken care of. This meant that you had the best medical attention, you had been able to move into a house, and you were able to raise your beautiful daughter in peace.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

And now you were being called back in by The Boss.

As the meeting time drew closer, you called your daughter’s babysitter and got everything set up for her to come over to watch her while you stepped out.

The knock on your door startled you. There was still time before your meeting, so you knew it wasn’t your babysitter.

Opening your door, you saw the same detective as before, but this time she was joined by a tall, muscular man.

“Sorry ma’am, we were just in the neighborhood recanvasing, and we just wanted to see if you had remembered anything from the past few days.” The man spoke this time, and his voice was comforting, but there was a sense of urgency about it.

Dread hit you like a ton of bricks, and you shook your head quickly. “I’m sorry, I haven’t remembered anything. Now, please, I have to get ready for a meeting.”

You backed away and shut the door in their faces, turning quickly and going to your daughter. You made sure that she had everything that she would need for her time with the babysitter.

Eventually it was time to go to the diner. You kissed your daughter’s face and said your goodbyes, pausing by the door and slipping the detectives card in your pocket before you headed to your car and left for the diner.

After a short drive, you arrived at the diner and pulled into the lot. Climbing out of your car, you headed inside. The diner was eerily quiet and almost completely empty, minus a few staff and David in the corner booth with a large henchman standing beside the booth. David gestured to the other side of the booth, and you slid in. Taking your place in front of him, you looked him in the eyes and tried to not let your fear be too apparent.

David nodded at you. “I wanted to talk to you about some things that are going on around you. As you are now aware, your neighborhood has become a bit of a hotbed for criminal activity. I want you to know that you are completely safe. No harm will come to you. Some of the boys are just tying up some loose ends, but again, you have nothing to worry about. But, understandably, we’d appreciate it if you could keep it hush hush, you understand right?”

You looked at the man in front of you and gulped, slowly nodding. “I understand. But, why are you telling me this? I didn’t know anything about it.”

David grinned at you, a grin that gave you the heebie jeebies, “Think of this as a test. If you keep the secret, everything will continue to be fine. If you squeal,” he paused, “well, hopefully, you don’t have to find out what happens if you squeal.”

You felt all the color drain out of your face and you nodded again. “Of course. I can keep the secret. My daughter and I, we owe you our lives.”

David gave you a short nod, “That’s what I hoped to hear. You can go but remember what I said.”

You gave David a weak smile and all but bolted out of the booth and out to your car. Frantically, you pulled out of the parking lot and headed to one of your favorite bars, needing a drink after what you had just gone through.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

As you sat at the bar, you looked at the drink in front of you, trying to process what you had just been told. It all was just too much, and you were having trouble processing it. One of your hands rested by the glass while the other fiddled with the detective’s card in your pocket. Knowing what you should do, you found yourself pulling out the card and studying the letters and numbers intently.

Finally, you built up the courage and pulled out your phone, stepping away from the bar you typed in the phone number. After a few moments on the phone, you nodded and headed back to the bar, paying for your drink and leaving the building.

When you arrived at the Manhattan SVU precinct, your eyes immediately found Olivia and you went over to her. She ushered you into a room with another woman sitting at the table.

“Hello, Y/N, my name is Casey, Olivia has already told me a bit about what is going on, but, I’d like to go over it again with you.”

You nodded and sat at the table with Olivia and Casey. Taking a deep breath before telling them everything. By the time you finished telling them what was happening, you were in tears.

Casey reached across the table and gave your hand a squeeze. “With your help, we’re going to catch these bastards, and they’re going to go away for a long time. Olivia and I have already talked about it, and you’ll be getting police protection until this is done.”

You gave her a slight smile and squeezed her hand slightly. “Thank you, I just want this to be over with.”

The two women walked with you to the entrance of the precinct and you thanked them both again.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The last thing you remembered after leaving the SVU was heading back to your apartment. You had been looking forward to seeing your daughter after being away from her all day. You had told the babysitter that you would be home late, but you assured her you would be able to cover her extra time. You opened the door to your house to see nothing but darkness. Calling out the babysitter’s and your daughter’s name with no answer. Grabbing your key and pulling out your phone, you started to dial Casey’s number, then it all went black.

When you awoke, you found yourself in a dark room with your hands and feet bound to a chair in the middle of a room. There was a table in front of you and a large man in an ill—fitting suit sitting across from you.

“So, Miss Y/L/N, my boss was under the impression that we had an understanding. You keep your mouth shut and we keep you and your daughter safe. Imagine how upset our boss was to find out that you were talking to that lady ADA. Tell me, what did you talk to her with?” The man in front of you let out a sickening grin.

“I promise,” you pleaded with the man, “I didn’t say anything about you, they were curious about a string of break ins. Nothing to do with your organization at all. Please, where is my daughter, she and her babysitter were gone. I need to know they’re safe, please.”

The man looked at you, unfazed, as your pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Believe me, miss. Everything will turn up the way it is supposed to be in the end. Just you wait.” The man got up from the table and walked out the door as you struggled against your bindings, pleading for your daughter and her babysitter.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When Casey got the phone call from you, she was confused. You had just left the building and you couldn’t have made it very far, so why not just come back inside? She quickly understood why when she answered the phone. She heard you struggling in the background and immediately got Olivia.

The two women quickly rallied the troops and explained the situation. Thankfully, you had given them a list of places that David and his goons liked to do their business, so the team split up to check them all.

Casey followed Liv to her car and got in without saying a word. She needed to help find you. There was something about you that made Casey need to make sure you were ok.

As the Liv and Casey made it to the diner, Casey noticed a torn piece of fabric on a branch around the side of the building. Liv called in for backup and then followed the worn path to the back of the building where the door of a storm shelter sat, unlocked with a rock propping the door open.

Casey heard another car pull in and within moments, Elliot was there beside his partner. Olivia motioned for Casey to wait outside while they ventured into the shelter.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You sat there in the chair, head lolling from the force of so many punches. You could feel the blood dripping from the multiple lacerations to your face. You were certain that your hand was broken, and the clothes you had been wearing were sliced and torn till there was nothing left.

You tried to tell the men that you hadn’t done anything wrong, that all you wanted was your daughter, but somehow, they knew. They had followed you to the bar and then when you went in to talk to Olivia and Casey. They told you that they had bugged your phone, so they heard everything when you had called to schedule a meeting with them.

As another painful round of punches hit your flesh, you swore that you could hear the sounds of someone entering the room before everything went dark.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When you woke up, you were blinded by the brightness of the room that you were in. After a few moments, the sounds of the machines in the hospital became more apparent. Blinking your eyes, you looked around the room. You nearly burst into flames when you saw your precious child curled up in Casey's lap.

You cleared your throat and spoke quietly, “Sorry about her, she can nap anywhere.”

Casey looked startled and then smiled, “That’s perfectly fine, she didn’t want to leave her mother.”

You gave a small chuckle, “That sounds like my girl. Is she ok? They didn’t do anything, did they?”

Casey shook her head softly, “She’s fine, so is the babysitter. They had them locked in the utility closet upstairs.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, “And David?”

Casey gave you a bigger smile, “Locked up. He won’t be coming out for a long while. Even with all that money.”

You grinned, “Thank goodness, I’m glad I don’t have to look over my shoulder. We need to move forward instead of staying in the past.”

Casey reached over and grabbed your hand. “I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.”

And that’s how Olivia found the two of you when she came to check in on you, holding hands and whispering to each other. As Olivia slowly backed out of the room to avoid being noticed, a smile began to grow on her face. Who knows what will come of that, but Olivia sure wasn’t about to ruin a beautiful moment.

#request #casey x reader #casey novak x reader #casey novak #law and order svu imagines #svu imagine #svu #svu imagines #law and order svu #law and order svu imagine #casey novak imagine #casey novak imagines

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