#and suddenly perspective just CLICKED

[yellobb]

“Nothing lasts forever….”

Day 2 - Spiders

[doctorsiren]

The Doom Marine!!

[arolesbianism]

Hi gamers guess who's thinking abt unit swap stuff again. Shiho and Saki discussing who would be best fit to play the cast in their musicals knowing full well they're going to assign Honami to the main character like they always do and the Saki will insist on playing the main villain like she always does and then Ichika gets stuck playing every other character while also playing the trumpet like he always does

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> smut, oral / receiving, words -> 1K

abstract -> “Just watch and enjoy the show. Maybe you’ll learn a few things””

seonghwa’s perspective 

“You’ve been hogging her,” Hongjoong said and I scoffed. “You had her for a week, let me have my time with her,” I said and he rolled his eyes. “You’ve had her for two weeks already. The others are getting angsty without her” he said and I clicked my tongue. 

“Not my fault nor my problem,” I said but before he could say anything– “Hongjoong?” I heard… “Great look, you woke her up,” I said and he sighed. “It's my room too,” he grumbled. 

“He’s been mean to ya?” he asked, plopping beside her on MY bed. “You’re dirty–” “If you're tired you shouldn’t be pushing yourself,” he said ignoring me. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” she said and he smiled softly… I was glad she grew on him. “I’ll always worry,” he muttered. “Besides, Kun said his heat should finish in a little over two weeks so any day now he should be tired and sleep for days” she teased. 

“Maybe then it’ll be my turn again,” he said, her cheeks flushed. “Are you sure? We were a little tired that she should probably have my cum in her still” I said and he scoffed. “Seonghwa has a possessive streak doesn't he?” he said, turning to her, who seemed to only get redder. 

“So embarrassed… we’ve done the same thing together, don't be shy now” he teased and I had an idea pop into my head. 

“Hey, Hongjoong… wanna see what I did yesterday?”

no one’s perspective

Seonghwa didn’t like the thought of sharing you but for some reason, he could make an exception with the fellow tiger. The two on the bed seemed confused by what he said. He suddenly crawled over to learn about you. 

“Want him to join us, princess?” he asks you and it shocks you at first but then looks towards Hongjoong who then looks away embarrassed. “Aren’t tigers super–” “Possessive… yeah, so I wanna prove I'm better” he said earning a growl from Hongjoong. 

“Hongjoong do you want me to help you?” you asked and he stayed silent. “He’s trying to control himself,” Seonghwa teased, making him scoff as the white tiger laughed. “I think he needs a little push,” he said as he now took off your blankets to reveal the soaked-through panties that you lazily put on after Seonghwa came a few hours prior. 

“With how desperate you smell you might push my heat to be a few weeks longer. Let’s show him what he’s missing, princess” he said with that pet name of his… It was a funny coincidence that San and Wooyoung only ever use pet names during sexual times whilst Yeosang said it all the time… so similar to him and yet maybe that's why he argued a lot with the Doberman.

Seonghwa soon took off his shirt that he gave you lazily before sleeping after your last sex session. “Don’t you wanna touch her? Have you ever taken the time to feel her up? I bet you were a selfish heat partner” Seonghwa said as he trailed his tongue around your nipple.

He continued to make marks on your chest until he stopped and stood up from the bed. “Come on,” he said as Hongjoong followed what he wanted. The older pushed his shoulders down wanting him to kneel down to which the orange tiger complied and I had an idea of what he was positioning him to do.

“Come on Hongjoong… stop acting like you didn’t fuck her a whole week,” he said and Hongjoong scoffed. “This is different'' he said and Seonghwa chuckled “Ah, you’re right I’m so nicely decided to share her with you. She’s our lovely owner who’s offers to help us when we need it” he mocked.

“Look at how wet she is… all my cum already in there, waiting to be stuffed again,” he said while you tried closing her legs when I subconsciously put my hands on her thighs… “Hongjoong” you whimpered and he was trying to control himself from cumming in his pants.

“What? What’s wrong princess?” Seonghwa asked and he realized how flushed you were… The two chuckled at how cute and innocent you looked despite the situation you were in…

“What do you want him to do?” Seonghwa asked and you whimpered… Hongjoong not waiting for anything to be said kissed your clothed clit.

“Do you want him to eat you out? Make you cum with his mouth? Clean up my cum?” Seonghwa said as he now sat next to her head to pet her hair. Hongjoong continued to kiss her thighs, teasing her… “Please” she muttered and he chuckled. “Please stop?” Hongjoong teased and you shook her head. 

“Isn’t she cute?” Seonghwa asked and the orange tiger agreed. “Even when she’s moaning, she still manages to look so innocent,” he said and the two laughed.

“Mean” you muttered and they laughed again. “We’re being too mean, Hongjoong” Sseonghwa said “I’m sorry, do you want me to do this instead?” he asked as he ripped the soaked-through and messy panties.

Now they started by teasing your clit with his fingers as Seonghwa worked her up by kissing her neck and chest again before tasting her.

It was almost like the two were under a spell and they couldn’t stop… now you even gripped Hongjoong’s hair so tightly making his tail shiver…

“Pussy drunk Hongjoong” Seonghwa muttered as he stared at the other tiger with sadistic eyes… The tiger growled being pressed up against your clit but must’ve felt good for his efforts to be rewarded with another orgasm clearly shaking again. 

“Move,” Seonghwa said and the orange tiger couldn’t react when he pushed him off so easily. He lined up against her and the other scoffed. “I’m the one in heat,” he said and he laughed as he pushed into her making her squirm. 

“And I’m the one who’s mated with her before,” he said.

“Hongjoong, just watch and enjoy the show. Maybe you’ll learn a few things”

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[earthchica]

never lose me

terry richmond x black fem! reader

summary: you and terry have had an on-and-off friends-with-benefits situation, but perhaps that's about to change.

warning: explicit smut (18+), fluff, unprotected rough morning sex, dirty talking, fwb, choking kink, mention of fear and rejection, slight daddy kink, foreplay, oral (m), pet names (baby girl, baby, etc.)

note: my first fanfic on one of aaron pierre's character! I watched rebel ridge then binge-watching all the stuff he was and fell in love. He is absolutely fine and adorable.

{ part two }

-

You woke up to the gentle morning sunbeams sneaking past the veil of curtains. Your eyes scan the room, attempting to determine your location.

Suddenly, an arm wraps around your waist, and you felt something firm against your ass. Glancing over, you noticed terry peacefully snoring with his mouth slightly ajar.

A smile crept onto your face as you recalled your surroundings. Recollections of the previous night flooded your mind, and you told yourself this would never happen again but it did.

You and Terry met during your time in the Marines. You both instantly clicked, finding you both had a lot in common and became inseparable.

Throughout the ups and downs, you have consistently been each other's pillars of support, standing by one another through every breakup, every headache, and every dark moment.

People often questioned if you two were in a relationship or hinted you would make a great couple, but you couldn't comprehend their perspective at first.

Until you started getting feelings for him but soon after, you realize that the connection was purely platonic.

And because of that you tried to end this thing multiple times but Terry just knew how to pull you back in.

You sighed sofly, an idea formed in your mind. You slip out of his hold, moving down to his legs and gently pushing the blankets aside.

The sight of his big, long dick made your mouth water; just staring at it filled you with excitement and warmth.

You leaned in, gently touched the top of his dick, increased your pace slightly, and eagerly anticipated his response.

"............" He softly murmurs your nickname, groggily opening his eyes.

A look of delight spreads across his face as he sees you positioned between his legs, prepared to pleasure him.

A few more gentle touches at the tip before enveloping his shaft in your mouth, then started moving your head up and down.

Terry lets out a loud moan and firmly grasps your curly hair. His deep and alluring moans ignited a strong sensation deep within you.

You looked up at his face and noticed his eyes filled with desire. You moved your mouth away with a wet sound and coated his dick with your saliva.

"Oh, fuck. Y-you gotta stop…baby girl" Terry says in a low voice as he brushes your untidy, curly hair away from your face.

Before you could speak.

Terry lifted you and flipped you onto your back. He began leaving a trail of kisses along your neck, while gently running the tip of his dick up and down your pussy.

You lean into him, craving his touch as you long for him to be inside you; the teasing has become unbearable.

Terry also couldn't resist; he thrust deep inside, filling and stretching you.

Fuck...you loved how big he was, and how it always felt like you were about to be split in half.

This sensation was what you always desired and yearned for. He started to move back and forth inside you gently.

Stroking your cheeks with his hands before increasing the speed and pressing his forehead against mine.

"Terry, rougher please!" You whispered as you gazed into his passionate eyes.

You drew him into a kiss while raising your leg slightly to stimulate your inner self.

"You love getting fucked rough huh, baby?" He inquired, drew back from the kiss, gently wrapping his hand on your neck.

"Yes Ahh, Terry yes!!" You moaned, digging your nails into his arm as his thrusts quickened desperately.

You could feel your legs tightening up.

With immense strength, you swiftly flipped him onto his back and linked your hands with his, moving up and down his body.

"Oh...take a little control...I see?" He smirked, and you nodded sensing your grip tighten around him, causing a pulsating sensation deep inside you.

Terry releases one of your hands and firmly grasps your waist. Aligning his movements with the rhythm, elicited a loud moan from you.

You savored each moment as he thrust up inside your wet, dripping pussy.

You felt your eyes roll in the back of your head, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

Terry let go your hand before placed both his hands on your hips, pounding up into you.

You gasped, gripping his shoulder before throwing your head with a cry of moan.

"That's fucking right. Take that fucking dick, You loves daddy's dick Right?" He asked.

"Yes, oh fuck I love daddy's dick. I'm-I'm gonna cum can I cum, Daddy!" You cried in pleasure, feeling yourself about to release.

"Cum, baby girl. Cum for me!" He demanded, and you obeyed, shouting his name, as you felt a powerful wave of release surge through you sharply.

Terry flips you on your stomach, face down and ass up. He fucks you through your high, desperately chasing his release.

"Fucking so good, baby. The best pussy I've ever had" Terry says, gripping your hips tightly, pounding into you faster than before.

You felt another orgasm coming along and it felt too much for you, so you tried to move away.

"Ahh...no fucking run...take this fucking dick, like a good girl" Terry groans, smacking your ass.

"TERRY!" You cried, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. He brought you up, wrapping his hand around your throat while kissing your neck.

In a matter of seconds…you both came togather, it was so intense and sensual.

Terry winced a little, coming inside of you. You both dropped immediately down into the pillows, trying to catch your breath.

"Fuck" He cursed, pulling out before lying down beside you on his back.

"Damn, girl you're gonna be the fucking death of me," Terry remarked with a contented sigh as you gazed over at him with weary eyes, nodding in approval.

-

"I know we've been on and off with this, but I think we should definitely continue it," you declared as you emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body.

Terry appeared slightly disappointed but swiftly adjusted his expression as he pulled his pants back on.

"Hey, you good?" You asked, moving to sit next to him on the bed. Your voice filled with concern as you leaned in, waiting for his response.

"What if we...you know, um...shit," he says, struggling to get the words out, leaving you utterly confused.

"Terry, what are you trying to say?" you pressed, as you placed your hand on his leg, locking eyes with him.

"I want to take you out on a date, I'm done with this on-and-off shit. I want something serious with you" He says with those pretty eyes.

You were taking back, you would never believed this would happen but you were glad.

You suddenly realized that not a single word had left your lips as you stared at him, leaving him with an embarrassed expression.

"Forget I fucking said anything," he murmured, rising from the bed to slip into his shirt before making his exit.

You acted quickly, stepping in front of him to block his exit. You met his gaze with a soft smile and firmly placed your hand on his chest.

"Terry, I've been waiting to hear that for so long? Do you truly want something more?" You asked, pursuing assurance.

His touch tenderly caressed your face, prompting you to close your eyes and revel in the exquisite sensation.

"Of course...I do..baby. You've always been someone I can rely on, be myself with, and I guess fear and rejection played a big part in me not confessing to you" He says.

"I would've never rejected you. I-I love you Terry...and I've always wanted more with you but I guess I was afraid too" You confessed.

His eyes widened in disbelief at the three little words. You couldn't help but smile at his stunned reaction.

"Say that again?" he murmured, enveloping you in his embrace, yearning to caress your neck with his lips.

You giggled, whispering, "I love you, Terry Richmond. I've always had and I always will"

He drew you in for a kiss, and this one was unlike any other you both had shared.

This was pure love and sweetness. You enveloped him in your arms, savoring the kiss.

"I love you too," he said, pulling away from the kiss and brushing a few strands of curls out of your face.

"Is that so?" you inquired with a gentle smile. Terry chuckled and tenderly swept you into his arms, eliciting joyful giggles from you.

"I do... I've always felt this way, and I always will. I'm in love with you...so can I take you on a date?" "Terry asked, flashing his charming smile."

"I would love to go on a date with you, Terry," you declared with a smile, and he joyfully spun you around, both of you bursting into laughter.

[mrinafria]

[contains spoilers]

I'm an eternal digger of good narrative techniques. A decent story becomes great in my eyes if the narrative is done right. And it's one of the hardest things to do really, since there's no one-size-fits-all rule for what technique works well with a particular story and what doesn't. One of the primary reasons I keep obsessing over Lovely Runner is its' narrative technique. In all honesty, if it had a linear, singular narrative, I would not be hyperventilating over it on a constant basis (I still would just a certain amount, because both Byeon Woo Seok and Kim Hye Yoon deserve awards for what they are doing). One reason it has managed to knock it out off the park and take the top spot in my forever-favorite list is how wonderfully well the narrative is done.

The primary perspective used in this show is Im Sol's. It's through her we're introduced to the story. Her perspective gives shape to the plot, the characters, because we learn things through her. Her perspective is absolutely critical for exposition. Without her thoughts and way of viewing things, you would never realize why saving Seon Jae means so much to her, or why she would bend the rules and bulldoze ahead when it comes to his safety (exhibit A, her leaving home on the day of the accident, despite knowing about her fate). She'd rather have him alive than have him in her life. Without her narrative, you'd think it's really all about a fan saving her idol (thanks to everyone who'd rejected the script listening to that pitch by the way, I'm grateful we have BWS and KHY as the leads because of that, I would not change it for anyone else). With Im Sol's perspective, you realize, she is not just a fan: she's an ardent admirer, a cheerleader, a well-wisher, a protector, an invisible friend trying to support her friend any way she can, someone who respects Seon Jae, sees him as an idol but also as a human, someone who wants to give back to him the same kindness, empathy and love she had once received from him over a radio call. To her, Seon Jae is first a guardian angel and then an idol, the angel who changed her view of life, made her appreciate things even amidst all that could be wrong with the world and her life. He saved her. Not just on that day at the hospital but every time she struggled and faltered since then, he was there, as invisible as it may have been. So this time, she wants to save him, no matter the price.

Then comes Seon Jae. Oof. If Im Sol's perspective gives the story its beautiful, beautiful shape, Seon Jae's perspective breathes literal life in to the body of the story. The show wouldn't be what it is today if not for his perspective. Without his view into things, Im Sol appears as a fangirl going to extreme measures to save her idol, clinging onto him like a monkey (yes I mean the poster) embarrassing the heck out of herself, making you cringe (in a good, enjoyable way) throughout. Then you reach the end of episode 2 and it knocks the breath out of you because WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. It all clicks.

All this while we kept thinking Seon Jae was caught off guard and just kind enough to tolerate her antics, and maybe he'd slowly fall for her now, only to realize we were completely oblivious to a whole different side of the story. If Im Sol's narrative draws you in and keeps you hooked, making you root for her to succeed, it's Seon Jae's narrative that makes you irredeemably fall in love with them and sincerely, genuinely, desperately hope they get their happy ending together after all the storm.

And the motifs. Walking/running, for instance. I'll focus on just one scene here. I recall seeing a bts where KHY is discussing the OG 2008 accident scene, and it explains how she has to slow down, while running away, for just a moment, only to be hit by the taxi driver. Have you ever been in a situation of absolute panic, desperation and stress, then suddenly found a familiar face or a name or a thing you could connect to, and felt a wave of relief rush through you? She sees Seon Jae, a person who is calling out her name. Even if she didn't know him back then, the fact that he knew her (and that he had his uniform on), gives her a sense of safety she badly needed that moment. That momentary relief, so visible in her features, then overtakes the crippling fear she felt running in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight in the dead of the night. Her body, already exhausted beyond anything, responds to the relief she feels for those few seconds, slowing down her steps.

And that is when she is caught off-guard and hit. That also might have added to Im Sol's anger at the hospital when she is screaming at Seon Jae, her internal anguish that if only she had not paused seeing Seon Jae, and kept on running, then maybe she wouldn't be hit, wouldn't fall, wouldn't lose her ability to walk. It's one thing to have tropes and symbolic things, but it's a very different thing to know how to use them effectively so they elicit very specific types of emotions/reactions out of people. Lovely Runner excels in that. All kdramas more or less have 'things' that take on different meanings for the couples/viewers. It's the way motifs are used to narrate the story in this one that has me going back over and over again to all the episodes aired so far. These are not just their 'things', these are 'things' that drive the plot forward, tell you about their characters, their personal motivations, what they mean to each other and so much more.

This is getting longer that I intended it to be so will end with this. I feel valued when watching Lovely Runner. And I've seen people saying the same thing. It feels like they respect your critical thinking skills, and your ability to infer, so they don't spoon-feed you everything from the get-go, and you can't predict much despite it being primarily a rom-com. You'd be pulling your hair out (again, in a good way) trying to figure out what they will show next, and you will be somewhat or very far from the truth, which will compel you to think further about the story, the characters, long after an episode has aired...I can't remember the last time it happened with a drama. I love this storytelling.

[ahhnini]

kaleidoscope - rafe cameron x reader

warnings - angst, angst, angst

synopsis - rafe and reader were inseparable. that is, until reader confessed her feelings. years pass, the two are no contact. but as it turns out, reader had been talking to him all this time, on a platform she never expected.

rafe cameron x tumblr!user reader

wc - 1.4k

a/n - i apologize if the formatting is a bit messy, i tried to have both of their perspectives.

your heart shattered as rafe ignored your words. you’d messed up everything. what you thought were signs of interest had just been signs of him being friendly to you. that’s all you were to rafe. a friend. so here you were, in the school hallway, sitting down on the floor, eating lunch all by yourself. you’d muffle your sniffles, trying to ignore the stares from everyone passing by, texting your mom to pick you up early from school. as soon as you’d gotten home, you immediately ran to your desktop, ranting about how “boys are stupid” and how you hate being melodramatic to your tumblr blog.

you scoff as you see rafe’s arm around sofia. it’s funny, knowing she’ll be dumped the next month. having just celebrated your sweet sixteenth, you were now old enough to have an island club membership of your own, and that’s where you’d been spending most of your time these days. you stretch your arms outwards, before opening your laptop, logging into the tumblr website. you had gained a pretty sufficient following, and you can’t help but smile at all the people interacting with your blog. huh, that’s weird. there’s someone new trying to message you. it was from one of your longtime followers. opening it, you smile at the kind message.

Hey, I’ve been following your blog since you started, and I’ve been here every step of the way. It’s been so nice seeing you grow.

little did you know that this message would create a long lasting friendship.

another night, another party at the cameron house. you weren’t invited, of course. rafe was throwing it. but to be honest, even if sarah was gonna host, you weren’t gonna show up either way. seeing the strobe lights dance around the estate, you close your curtains, making your way to your bed. you bring your laptop close to you, opening it up to your last tab open, tumblr.

going right to your direct messages, you click your most recent one, a friend you’ve made who liked to be called R. he still hasn’t replied to your message. sighing, you exit out of the chat and check on your page, making a quick new post. you browse the site for a couple more minutes, liking and reblogging, before opening up another tab for netflix, falling asleep to a random show.

the morning sun wakes you up. immediately searching for your phone, you check your notifications, smiling when you see R’s username pop up.

Hey, was busy last night, i’ll make it up to you :)

your smile widens, and you quickly reply,

dw about it!! <3

across the street, rafe’s phone lights up.

you’re awake, he’s hungover. he let out a soft groan, squinting his eyes.

you send another message,

gonna get ready for the day!! + one attachment

even though his head was pounding, he sat up, opening the selfie you sent him.

after that first message all those years back, you and R instantly clicked. even if it had been through the screen, the connection felt…magical. now that you were both nineteen, you’ve realized that you’d grown up with him.

putting your shades on, you lay on the couch of your yacht. all of your friends were busy; you didn’t have anything else better to do. you close your eyes, letting the warmth of the sun be your blanket.

you feel his arms wrap around you, you see his smile, bright and inviting. he kisses your lips, whispering your name. your eyebrows furrow, something was wrong. you push him away, suddenly becoming self aware. rafe didn’t love you, this was a dream. why were you dreaming about him?

you wake up, wiping a tear that fell down your eye. shaking your head, you go to the mini fridge, sipping on a cup of water. you hate to admit it, but you’d been thinking of rafe more often than you’d like. he probably hasn’t thought about you in years; probably forgetting that you existed.

after spending a couple more hours in the sun, you decided to go to the wreck for a quick snack. you ordered your favorite; a chicken sandwich with a chocolate milkshake. sitting down in one of the booths, you open your phone, seeing that R replied to you.

Beautiful, as always.

your cheeks grow slightly red at the compliment. he’d do this often, texting you compliments whenever you’d sent a photo of yourself. it started after you’d posted a rant to your dash about your low self esteem, R doing anything he could to bring your spirits up, even if it had been over the internet. then, when you self-reflected and started growing your confidence, you’d started sending pictures of yourself to him. he’d never send you anything back, though. which bummed you out at first, but you respected his decision.

you two had been planning to meet up for a while, but R was always dismissive with you when you’d ask. a part of you was terrified that you’d been talking to a creepy middle aged man all this time, but those thoughts dwindled away as you got to know each other more. sipping on your milkshake, you decide to follow your impulses, wanting to meet up with the mysterious R as soon as possible.

ik this is kind of random but when do u wanna meet up? we both live in nc so we could meet up in a city somewhere?

shit. rafe was not expecting that. his palms began to sweat, quick fingers moving across his phone screen.

It’s too soon, don’t you think?

no, not at all! we’ve been planning this for months now, all we need is a city and date.

rafe took a deep breath, feeling his headache get worse. deciding to bite the bullet, he replies,

Okay, what about saturday? We could meet up in Raleigh.

sounds good! what time?

Around 11:00 AM work for you?

perfect, so excited to see you, R! <3

fuck. shit. he stood up from the stool he’d been sitting on, running his hands along his head. his breathing quickened as he paced along the kitchen, wondering how he was supposed to face you again.

saturday rolls around quicker than you expected. you were on a ferry, headed to the mainland to meet R. you carried pepper spray just in case he did turn out to be a creepy middle aged man, can never be too safe.

he can see you, sitting down on one of the ferry benches, fidgeting on your phone. he felt like a creep, watching you. god, he wanted to jump into the ocean right now.

after confirming the plans, you both agreed to meet up in a popular restaurant in the middle of town. you’d gotten there a little early, reserving a table for the both of you. you tapped your foot anxiously, looking at all the decor. you were so nervous that you didn’t even realize you heard the chair across from you move, looking up when you heard a deep voice say, “hey, y/n.”

what the fuck.

“r-rafe?!” you whisper-shout, suddenly standing up from your chair. his eyes widen, everyone around the restaurant looking at you two. suddenly becoming embarrassed, you sink down into your seat, looking at your former friend, in shock. “you need to explain. now.” he nods, licking his lips before speaking, “it was stupid. after you confessed freshman year I’d been going through some shit with my dad and I couldn’t handle a relationship yet. so I ghosted you. and everyone else after that,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I should’ve told you right away. you were my best friend, y/n. after everything got sorted out I wanted to talk to you again, but it was too soon. I remembered you made me follow your tumblr account back in middle school, so I looked through your profile, and I felt so bad, knowing I hurt you. it haunted me for years,” he lets out a bitter chuckle, “it took balls for me to message you on there, I was so scared you were gonna find out and block me. but you didn’t. so I kept talking to you…and now we’re here.” he finishes his monologue, playing with the napkin on the table.

“rafe…I don’t know what to say…” you respond, throat becoming dry. he grabs your hands from across the table, gently squeezing them. “you don’t have to say anything. if you don’t wanna continue what we have, that’s fine. at least now you know the truth.”

“so, you were the one giving me those compliments?”

“of course.”

“and you weren’t bullshitting this whole time?”

“why would I? i’ve always found you stunning.”

your ears grow red, pulling your hands away from his.

“I…I need some time. this is all too much,” you stand up again, rushing out of the restaurant, rafe’s calls falling deaf to your ears.

thank you to my irl @vannbao for helping me with this (and feeding into my delusions)!!

taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt @maybankslover @dreamygirli3

[hypnoticpo1s0n]

Living in the end completely changed my perspective.

So, I started building up my self-concept, I started living in the end, I started doing shadow work, I stopped trying to tap into the void, I stopped trying to shift and I stopped listening to subliminal. I started this at the beginning of 2023. It was hard, but I persisted and I'm happy to say that my mindset completely shifted. Here's how I did and how it changed my outlook on my life.

"Living in the end. It is a state of wish fulfillment. It is not trying to get your desire, it is knowing that you have your desire" This never clicked, You see, I would read all these posts about people having an epiphany and it just started to make sense. But, no matter how much I read these posts, no matter how many mindset change subliminals I listened to, and no matter how many methods I tried, it just never clicked. It didn't make sense to me.

As humans we desire proof. Growing up, a lot of us were told that what happens all happens for a reason and that our fate had already been decided. That's why the idea of LOA seems so unusual. Suddenly, we find out that we can change anything? We can control every aspect of our life? It was strange. I never really understood what it meant when someone said that I was in control of my life. But what I knew I was in control of was my thoughts.

Wish fulfilled. The state of thinking from the perspective that creation is finished. That you aren't manifesting your desire but that you already have it. I knew that no matter what, I would always be in control of my thoughts. Even though I never understood what the state of wish fulfillment was, I just started thinking from that perspective. It didn't feel good. I felt like a liar and delusional. But, I kept persisting. Every time I would look in the mirror, I would compliment myself in a way that my desired self would. I started thinking like her.

Thinking like her wasn't easy. But, I took small steps. I started thinking like her with regard to food. Then I started thinking about her with regard to my education, Then I started thinking about her with regard to social media. I would affirm whenever I had free time. But, I did it cause I enjoyed it. Don't force yourself to do the same.

Once I did this, my entire life started to change. I tapped into the void state, I shifted, I got a partner, I made a ton of new friends, My appearance changed to my liking and I got my desired life.

I don't want you to spiral after reading this. I'm just sharing my journey. LOA is like life. Everyone has a different path. Not everyone is going to have the same journey. Don't let that demotivate you. Create your own path. No matter how long it has been, don't ever give up. Keep trying and trying. It will be painful but nothing is more painful than staying in the same place for the rest of your life.

[morphean42]

Rewatching Falsettos I was suddenly struck by an epiphany that I’m sure someone else has had at some point, but I needed to write out. This ending scene from “March of the Falsettos” jumped out at me from the first watching, but even though I recognised the nod to the “See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil (and lesser known do no evil)”, I didn’t know what it meant. Today, I tried to piece it together, and I think I’ve gotten it. These poses represent core attributes of the characters, as well as Trina’s view of them, so click the read more to hear the ravings of a mad man wayyyyyy too obsessed with this show

The idea of ‘evil’ to me is very loose. It can represent a lot of things for these characters; their actions towards each other, their character flaws, etc. But, for this analysis, one can replace ‘evil’ with ‘truth’. Each of the characters refuses to see, speak, hear, or ‘do’ the truth (please excuse the lack of grammar for that last one), and that is where the ‘evil’ stems from. Taking into account this is mostly based on Trina’s view of the men, I think ‘truth’ fits in well.

Let’s start with the one who fits in least— Jason. “March of the Falsettos” is a physical manifestation of how Trina views the men in her life (as childish and immature), but some slack is given to her son. He doesn’t sing his lines in falsetto, because we acknowledge he is in fact a child, and has more of an excuse to act as such. So, take his analysis with a grain of salt. The boy has every right to be a little selfish— he’s 10.

So, Jason has his hands over his eyes, representing ‘See No Evil’. This is a direct nod to his character flaw; his view of the world with him at the center. Although his parents are less than good to him, he still sees them through unfair lenses— ‘My mother’s no wife/My father’s no man’. He sings ‘everybody’s yelling and everybody’s ruining it’ in “Everyone Hates His Parents” because he is unhappy with how his Bar Mitzvah is turning out and wants to simply cancel it. He doesn’t have a concept of doing things for other people (again, he’s a child, I’m not blaming him per se), so he is blind to the will of others and refuses to see their side. In addition to this, even when Mendel tells him Whizzer will most likely die, Jason pleads with G-d to save him. He still views himself as the center of his world, thus Mendel’s line ‘Life’s not all about him’.

In addition to this, his ‘See No Evil’ means something when thought about from Trina’s perspective. She thinks her son is blind to the truth of the world, this son who stays inside playing chess alone, this son who ‘seems like an idiot to [Trina]’. She worries Jason will turn out like these other men in her world, blind to everyone but himself.

Now we come to Mendel, who has his hand over his mouth in ‘Speak No Evil’. Mendel’s flaw throughout the show is his refusal to accept the truth of any situation. He tells Jason to ‘feel alright for the rest of your life’ instead of actually trying to help, he is ‘frightened of questions’, he repeats over and over ‘I’ll make you well’ to Whizzer in the hospital. He will never say anything negative, nor will he allow others to do so. Even in the end of the show, he tells Jason they don’t know ‘when or if’ Whizzer will get better— he is still not accepting that it’s a definite thing. He believes that if he and those around him just don’t speak about the real problems, they’ll go away.

Trina’s view on Mendel is complicated here. In the next song she agrees to marry him, of course, and we know she at least likes him (the most of all three adults she knows). She says that Mendel ‘decides the role to assume’. She looks down on the fact that he can’t speak the truth to her, that he’s expecting this happy wife, this perfect new family. He wants her to play along with him and make their home together, even if she sings ‘liking our lives’ instead of loving. Even if he’s better than Marvin ever was, there’s still an element of control here. Mendel wants this family, and he wants them to all pretend nothing is ever wrong again.

Marvin, our titular character, is in the ‘Hear No Evil’ position. This one is fairly straight forward— he wants control and will never listen to the needs of those around him. He can’t hear what they actually need, he simply does what he wants. He also struggles with his masculinity throughout Act 1, his outward misogyny and need for the nuclear family (his treatment of Trina and Whizzer), so he imagines himself at the top of his family system. He will never take any other opinions, or counsel, in his decisions, seeing that as weakness. He’s similar to Jason in this regard, as he only hears what he wants to (like Jason only sees what he wants). He ignores the pain around him to pursue his own desires, he covers his ears and moves on.

Trina, of course, despises Marvin at this point in the show. Her subconscious showing Marvin in ‘Hear No Evil’ can tell us a lot about their relationship, how she was never seen as equal in decisions. Marvin always put her to the side, not listening to her needs, acting without thinking of her.

Whizzer is complicated. I’ve seen people laugh at his pose before, saying we’ve got ‘See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, and Gay’, but I think he represents the ‘Do No Evil’. This final character is not often seen with the other three, and can be depicted with arms over the chest or covering the genitals. It wouldn’t make sense to have Whizzer be the outlier (especially because the fourth depiction of evil does exist), so I’m assuming he is supposed to be ‘Do No Evil’.

This fits in well with Whizzer’s flaws throughout the show. He doesn’t accept responsibility for his relationship with Marvin; seen in the lines ‘I’m not responsible’ during “Late For Dinner” or ‘I will not accept blame’ in “Games I Play”. He sleeps around, despite Marvin wanting monogamy, and clearly did not have an issue hooking up with a married man. Whizzer fundamentally doesn’t think his actions have consequences, he believes he has done nothing wrong (he has done no evil). Whizzer also has a hard time admitting to his love for Marvin. He says it ‘depends on the day’, he flat out says ‘no’ when asked if he loves him. He doesn’t want to show his love for fear of being too vulnerable, so he hides and doesn’t do anything about it.

To take this even further, him being ‘Do No Evil’ can represent his later question of ‘why me of all men’ when he is dying. He hasn’t done anything to deserve his death, and ‘all men get what they deserve’, right?

Moving on to how Trina sees Whizzer. He’s come into her life and ruined her marriage, though she ‘wants to hate him’ she can’t. She views him as the cause of her recent hardships, his actions being to blame. He is ‘Do No Evil’ to her because he has done evil in taking Marvin away (though it is obvious Trina is better off because of it). He has upset the careful balance of her world by breaking down the lies of her marriage and exposing the truth— Marvin never loved her, could never love her. She puts him in ‘Do No Evil’ because what he has done is what the rest of the men won’t— see, hear, speak the truth even at the detriment of her family.

Another way to view this is, of course, the fact that ‘Do No Evil’ is rarely seen with the others. Trina is separating Whizzer from the other men, not putting him in the same category as the rest of the ‘family’. He views himself as an outsider as well, yes he’s part of the group, but only as a technicality. Only as Marvin’s lover. Once he leaves Marvin, he is easily taken out of the equation and the remaining three do not feel the loss.

My conclusion is such: Each of the poses our men do represents the character flaw they must overcome throughout the show, as well as how Trina views them in her mind. I really hope this made any sort of sense, and if someone has already said all of this well… I guess it can’t hurt to be thorough.

I’m way too tired to read through this again so if there are spelling mistakes please print out this post, correct it in red pen, and send it to me by carrier pigeon.

[reve-writes]

—good luck; leon kennedy.

ʚ leon kennedy x reader. | resident evil | 0,8k words. ʚ leon visits you at the hospital & you kiss for the first time. ʚ friends-to-lovers. kissing. profanity. pre-re4. ʚ a/n idk why i keep writing awkward first kisses fluff fics someone help i rewrote this twice and still don't quite love it, but here it is.

It has been almost a week.

You've been spending your days within these sickeningly white and bright room, accompanied by the constant hum of air conditioner. You had a visit from your supervisor, asking for mission reports. Outside of your work, you don't have a lot of friends anyway—and the ones you have are either busy in some part of the world somewhere combating bio-terrorism or knee-deep buried in training and paperwork.

Your eyes dart to the door when you hear knocking. Your voice is hoarse when you call out, “Come in.”

It's Leon. He throws a small smile at you when he walks in.

“One of these days—” He sighs, letting the door click shut gently behind him and makes his way towards your bed, plopping onto the chair by your bedside. “—you'll come home in a body bag.”

“Wanna bet on it?”

He stares at you pointedly, taking off his wool-lined leather jacket and hanging it over the back of the chair. “Don't even.”

Your eyes fall fall onto the lines of his body. That body-tight navy shirt really accentuates the muscles that he's built up, short-sleeves putting his arms on display. You're shameless in your staring. You have to remind yourself that he's just a friend—one that you've shared most of the bad with: the blood-smeared bodies, tear-streaked faces, grief-stricken memories, and nightmare-riddled sleeps.

“I heard that you're leaving for Spain.” You distract yourself by bringing up a topic of conversation. “When is that?”

He checks his black watch briefly. “In six hours or so.”

“And you decided to spend those six hours with me? I'm honoured, Kennedy.”

“Of course.” He shrugs. “Gotta make sure you have one last good look of me before I go.”

“I appreciate it.”

“How are you feeling?”

You feel his eyes on you, assessing your injury. Leon has always had an aptitude for observation. He sees the angry purple-and-blue bruises on your neck, noticed the way you wince slightly whenever you speak a little louder. Plus, the sling for your arm is one of the first things he notices when he sees you.

“Like shit.”

“I bet you do.”

“Getting slapped around by a goddamn B.O.W does that.”

“Tell me about it.” He adds a small chuckle. “I had a talk with your mission partner before coming here.”

“Oh, no. What did you do to poor, poor Jonas?” Your eyes narrow, looking at him in an accusatory manner. “You know that this isn't his fault.”

“He left you. Just fucking ran off. What do you mean it isn't his fault?” He argues.

You sigh. “He's new, Leon. Besides, I was the one who told him to run.”

“Don't pull that self-sacrificing shit.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on the edge of your hospital bed. “I can't have you dying on me.”

“You're the one running off to god-knows-where,” you retort. “I can't have you dying on me.”

“I won't.” He gives a small lop-sided grin. “Just because you asked.”

You chuckle—or at least try to—before you wince from a sharp throb in your chest. Leon immediately stands up, his chair sliding back with a screech. He hovers over you, one hand on your shoulder and the other feeling the wall for the emergency call button.

“You okay? What's wrong?”

You nod, taking his gloved hand in yours and away from the call button. “I'm fine, you worrywart.”

When you look up to meet his eyes, suddenly the proximity between the two of you is put into perspective. His eyes—brilliant blue, gem-like—are unblinking as they are fixated on yours. You can almost feel his breath.

“We shouldn't —” you say, but your eyelashes flutter. Your heart's pounding in your chest, loud and adamant, repeatedly calling his name—the way it always does for the longest time.

His eyelids droop as he leans forward slightly. “We really shouldn't.”

“Yeah. This is a bad idea.”

“You don't think we should kiss?”

You can feel your lips brushing against his when he speaks. Featherlight grazes call for goosebumps to raise on your skin. “Well, bad ideas can lead to good outcomes someti—”

Your words are muffled, swallowed by him as his lips close over yours. You've daydreamed about this more times than you care to admit, but to actually experience it? Are you hallucinating from the meds?

“Stop thinking.” Leon huffs, biting your lower lip gently. “Just—”

Whatever he's planning to say next is lost as you once again press your lips onto his. It's a gentle kiss—he treats you as if you're made of glass, and at this point, you feel like you may actually break from your heart swelling.

Your hand reaches out to touch his hair, and you feel a sharp tug from your IV. The IV stand nearly topples over, but Leon pulls back. His reflexes are quick enough to keep the stupid metal pole from falling over.

You stare at each other—

and burst out into laughter.

“A hell of a good luck kiss,” he says, settling back down to the chair.

You bite back your smile. “There's a lot more where that came from.”

“Get better soon and we'll find out.”

[ ]

[calxprince]

❀ LOVE, OR THE LACK THEREOF (4)

. . . a kabru x gender neutral reader story

# CHAPTER 4 : Is it possible to hear your own heart physically break?

# genre : multiple parts. breakup angst. reader can't move on for the life of them.

# notes : definitely a beefy chapter! thank you all for your support so far! i love hearing your guy's thoughts ♡ ( 5023 words )

-: ✧ :-゜・． MASTERLIST <- click me!

You soon regret your decision once you're now fully aware of the fact that your ex is, quite literally, living and breathing in the same room as you.

And you kind of want to kill him.

Or kiss him, you're not sure.

HONESTLY? YOU’RE FUCKED — Your brain seemed to have successfully checked out from the chains of your mortal body, as if it has claimed that there is no longer room for it inside. Instead, your consciousness found a comfortable refuge in the sky as it nestles into the clouds.

It felt like watching yourself from a third person perspective, observing your limbs move smoothly yet having little to no conscious control over them. Even if you did try to gain control, your brain fogs over and sends over a strange feeling of suddenly transversing through the fabric of time and space itself.

Your arms sway lazily, fingers grasping at the rough texture of your leather bag — itching for something, anything to ground yourself back down. However, your senses grow distant, each texture, each sound and sight only felt like a faint whisper down your neck.

The quiet murmurs of the party around you only dissipate into unidentifiable chatter, urging you to turn around and finally face them. However, it felt as if gravity had taken you in as its number one enemy— and decided to glue you down in your position. Could it have been fear? The fear of the billions of possibilities of what might happen next.

Your feet shuffle aimlessly, eyes eerily locked onto the cracks of the dungeon wall. Yet your heartbeat thumps against your ribs, a sound like a quiet drum. A reminder that echoes from inside you; you are still in this reality. So you press a mindless yet firm palm towards your chest, feeling around as your chest rises in a deep inhale.

You shake your head a bit, squeezing your eyes shut — only to open them back up to the same concrete wall.

‘I’ve been facing the corner for too long… That’s… Embarrassing...!’

The sudden thought yanks back your consciousness, like a splash of ice cold water jolting you awake. Your spine snaps straight, shoulders pulling back as you pivot on your feet —spinning around just a little bit too quickly. You wobble, looking around at the party with a sheepish expression.

Everyone is currently pre-occupied, which provides a bit of comfort to your raging fear and nervousness that consistently gnaws against your confidence (which probably doesn’t exist at this point.) Your hands fiddle around with your wooden staff, arms wrapped around behind your back. Your fingertips run against the grooves and indents of its wooden material, feeling the mana flow through it like a gentle river.

Your hand grasps it down firmly, seeking refuge in its comforting familiarity and stability.

Though, right before your eyes could focus in on Kabru — Mickbell’s frustrated groan cuts through the silence, as he desperately scratches his scalp through his blonde hair. His foot impatiently stomps against the rocky floor, kicking against the dust and debris that roll under his boots. His outburst catches the attention of everyone currently present, but no one dares to utter a word just yet.

“Everything is complete, but our barley! Who steals just barley?!” He exclaimed, a certain roughness to his call. His gloved hands desperately shake his precious bag, turning it upside down and watching as his dungeon trinkets fall to the ground. It creates a sporadic shuffling sound, followed up by a series of metal clinks! And clangs! Along with the occasional muffled sound of piles of fabric and clothes softly thumping on the floor.

He desperately throws the empty leather bag onto the floor, in a fit of anger.

Despite the seriousness of the situation—being mugged of your food rations—you can't help but feel a warm, endearing sensation in your chest. His exasperation and the way he fusses over the scattered items make you smile. You glance at the objects strewn across the ground, skipping over the usual equipment he always carries...

Gold coins, dwarven artifacts, gears, a chipped beyond recognition jewel, darts that are most probably dipped in poison, and a… stray gold coin that seemed to pick itself off and crawl away?  

Often, important and valuable items are given to Mickbell for his protection— he has a weird yet endearing habit of collecting and somewhat hoarding items from the dungeon, when it has the slightest chance of being valuable. In his words, “If it can be made use of, then use it.”

However, you never really hold him against it, or pin him for hoarding unnecessary items. Since about most of the time he can haggle quite a hefty price for even the most nonsensical items. Which always ends in a celebratory dinner, alongside frequent visits to their favorite tavern.

And getting black out drunk, off the rails and unaware of how much gold has been spent— piles and piles of empty shot glasses (curtesy of your drunken state ordering one right after the other.) It usually ends with Kabru and Kuro dragging the rest of the lot around, like heavy sacks of potatoes.

However, those moments are usually scarce and distant in between. You all were a severely unlucky bunch.

“Augh! This sucks! These thieves are insane…!” He groans, whining as he haphazardly cleans up the area— using his hands to scoop up the items and throwing them back into his backpack. His boots scuffed against the floor, dragging them around in an aggressively childish manner. He then proceeds to, somehow, defy the laws of gravity as he boosts himself up into the air— scrunching his body together as he jumped.

He clicks the clasp of his backpack closed, flinging the slightly deformed bag over his shoulder. The piles of messy clothes and trinkets create lumps in the leather, making you snicker slightly. With one last defeated sigh, Kabru finally decides to speak up.

“That seems to be the last of our food rations, it’s best to head back now. Let’s give up, and try again another day” Kabru smiles, a little bit too handsomely might you add. He comes in swiftly, approaching Mickbell from behind and clasping down on his shoulders. He soothes his worries by gently squeezing his hands on his shoulders, rhythmically massaging them. It looked like an all-mighty prince, coming down to soothe the worries of his people.

“Give up? You’re taking this failure a bit too lightly.” Rin adds on, her foreign voice giving you an aggressive whiplash. Her tone was gentle, and sweet like a bite of sweet cake. It was low, and you could sense the stern attitude through her lips— her words coming off cold, but you knew there was a certain fondness in those words.

“I can take failures lightly, but not the safety of our wellbeing’s. If we have no food rations, continuing onwards is basically walking straight into death’s hands.” Kabru scoffs back, a smirk tugging against his lips— his cheeks pulling upwards as his half-lidded gaze directs towards her. His words had a certain bounce to them, he’s being a tease. Their banter was something you couldn’t digest, as it was all too familiar.  

You can’t hold him back anyways, but that all too nostalgic teasing tone made you want to pull his curls out— cluster by cluster using bare hands. Or you could possibly make him mute for all eternity, so he could never utter a word in that tone to anyone else but you. It was supposed to be a luxury for only you to enjoy, not anyone else.

His voice left a sweet taste in your mouth that quickly bubbled into something bitter and rotten. The blinding anger only fuels a fire in your heart, a deep desire to swiftly blast a heart shaped hole into his body out of sheer desperation. Or possibly even turn him into a frog, stripping him away of his handsome, princely face and toned body.

  Jealousy is a fickle thing, like the devil on your shoulder that whispers horrible scenarios to fan the intrusive thoughts and the urge to act upon them.

But of course, morally speaking you can’t act upon these (As much as you want to do so.) And even if the feeling spreads as an irresistible itch that dances all around under your skin.

“If Kabru says we go up, then it’s definitely the best option for us all.” Daya mutters, smiling gently at the party around her. She stretches her arms out behind her back, fingers intertwined as she sighs at the sudden popping sound from her tired joints. Kuro, who had somehow appeared next to Mickbell’s side had barked in agreement.

The rest of the party nods in accordance, accepting their defeat once again with a collective sigh. Your gaze sweeps over their tired, crestfallen faces, which slowly starts to blur into a sweeter moment as you watch their confidence and general mood bounce right back.

 It's bittersweet to you, but it soothes your troubled heart just a little.

You can’t hold back the melancholy smile that creeps up your face, watching as the distance between you and the fleeting party grows bit by bit.

 Seeing your old friends safe and sound, despite the hardships, brings a sense of comfort.

However, their careful and deliberate attention to their general well-being and health was a sharp contrast to how you have treated yourself in the past years. Especially how Kabru and the rest were so quick to accept defeat, only to treat it as yet another small hiccup in their lives.

It serves as a bitter reminder that they were all doing just fine, without you. That they all have matured and become even closer with little to no difficulty, generally not affected by your disappearance in their lives.

They all have gone much farther in their lives, evident by their newer and higher-rarity equipment. Their uplifted mental, and well-established new outlook of life— like they were a breath of fresh air now. Something that you were all too adjusted to, yet still manages to prove to you that you cannot stay static as a person. They’ll always be susceptible to change and becoming a better person day by day.

But you are still forever in that same place since you left. Not someone better, not someone worse— but someone who has stayed unchanging and alone. Someone who clings onto the fragments of the past, relishing in the old familiar joy that they once had.

It makes you wonder if your existence had any valuable weight in their lives, and if you were even a memory that was worth remembering.

Was it admiration, or pure envy?

For them to bounce right back at the sudden face of failure, for them to treasure themselves over the slim, high-risk chances of success.

Maybe it was a sign from the dungeon, or even the mad mage himself. Could it have been that fate had deliberately given you the chance to see them once again, even in such a short and fleeting moment in time— to act as a wake-up call?

To slap your face with such vigor and intensity, which will sting for eons to come— to serve as a reminder that life will forever go on, with or without you. The friends and loved ones you once made will not stay hung up on you forever, sulking in the coldness of their rooms at the dead of night. They will move on one day, and that day may come sooner than it will for you.

No matter how heavy or light of an impact you were in their lives, they will always seek the light at the end of the tunnel.

Unlike you, the pathetic and miserable person who refuses to seek out the better side of things.

You, who instead relishes in the melancholy prison that holds your mind and body in confinement.

You, who would rather feel sorry for yourself— crying in the dead of night and desperately grasping the fleeting memories of the past.

You, who falls into the same dwelling hole again and again.

Addicted to the serene comfort of familiarity, as sadness is all you have ever known.

Instead, you sigh— keeping a bittersweet smile on your face as you turn away to start walking deeper into the dungeon. You knew your own rations wouldn’t last yet another floor, alongside the venture back up to the surface. Nor were you completely equipped with the correct gear, since you had never planned to even go that deep down in the dungeon.

You were just a stubborn idiot that was too bothered by the thought of going back up alongside them, just to trail behind like a lost puppy. Because, yeah, sacrificing your life instead of going out of your way of having to ask them if you could come with was a much better option.

You bite your tongue, seeking comfort in the pressure of your teeth sinking in, the sting hastily preventing you from calling them back. However, before you can turn your back on them, a soft voice cuts through the silence. It sent chills down your spine and dropped your heart straight to the lowest floor of the dungeon.

“Hey, where’s Y/N?”  Holm questions, his voice laced with concern. His head begins to whip around, twisting and turning his body to catch sight of any sign of you. This cues the rest of the party to scan their surroundings, anxiously shifting their gaze from wall to wall— person to person before laying their eyes on your figure.

You had been staying in the same place as before, showing little to no signs of movement. Most of the party, notably Rin and Kuro tilt their heads in confusion. While the rest let out a deep sigh of relief, possibly thankful that you hadn’t been eaten by a merman in complete silence— or even kidnapped and dragged into the walls by a ghoul.

Nervous, your heart pounds against your chest, the rhythmic thudding echoing in your ears like a drum. A sheepish smile creeps across your face as you catch sight of their dumbfounded expressions, realizing you haven't moved an inch since they left.

Mickbell darts toward you with a sense of urgency, his footsteps quick and light, while the rest of the party trails behind (However, less enthusiastically.) He tugs on the fabric of your sleeve, his eyes wide and pleading as he looks up at you with a mix of desperation and hope.

“Where are you going?” He whines, almost angrily— in a borderline childish manner. Your gaze shifts around in avoidance, shuffling your feet as you let out a quiet chuckle. You shrink at the realization that all eyes are on you.

Even Kabru’s.

“Ah… I’m going to keep going deeper into the dungeon.” You awkwardly cushion your words with gentle laughter, the sound feeling forced and unnatural. Your arms feel unnatural as they stay still by your side, opting to scratch your cheek and sway around your staff using the other.

 The sheer awkwardness of your current actions makes you want to leap into the nearest body of water and offer yourself to the mermen, sirens, and krakens lurking within.

“Going that deep into the dungeon, as a solo mage? Are you out of your mind?” Rin comments, her eyes set on you sternly. Her fingers messily intertwine in the strands of her hair, as she curls and spins it around. Her words were sharp and cut through you like a sharp blade through paper.

“You’re honestly lucky that you made it this far alone, but it’s not safe.” Holm adds on, stepping forward. His face etched with concern.

“You should know how dangerous it is! You should look out for yourself the same way you did for us!” Mickbell exclaims. The rest of the party unanimously hums in agreement, reflecting their collective concern over your well-being. Kabru was busy staring elsewhere, unsure if he was trying to ignore you or genuinely was more interested in the surrounding dungeon walls around you. Which was, quite possibly, both.

His eyes seemed to wander everywhere but near you. But the nervous and rhythmic tap of his boot hitting the floor, his fingers twitching and scratching at his collar, the sound of his cough before his hum of approval— it all leads you under the assumption that he was hiding his true feelings.

You’re not sure how to feel.

Happy, with your heart warm and swelling with love and care? Generally, upset and offended, as they assume that you are not fit for exploring alone?

You would have run straight to them, laughter bubbling from your lips, your hands ready to caress their heads and feel the warmth surge through your heart. However, your gaze locks onto Kabru, boring into him like bullets through cardboard.

Fear claws your insides, chopping you up like minced meat. Just the mere presence of Kabru right in front of you— the thought of having to spend possibly a week seeing him 24/7 was just enough to make you want to hurl. You would rather make a quick dash down, to wipe him away from your sight.

Your pride and ego battle within, both desperately urging you to convince them that you are a seasoned adventurer, fully capable of delving deeper into the dungeon.  That you are not the same person you used to be— you’re stronger, more agile, stronger willed. Yet the words die down by your throat, as your tongue gets held down by your chattering teeth.

Your lips stagger and stutter, desperately trying to find the right words to say— to say something, anything!

“Aaah… It’s fine! I’ll just end up being a bother if I went along with you all.” Your smile comes out forced, jaw clenched and unsure. The sound of your voice manages to rope Kabru into looking back at you, underestimating the sudden flinch of his gaze as he ends up locking eyes with you.

He doesn’t bother wasting any time before looking away. It clenches at your heart painfully.

Is it possible to hear your heart physically breaking? Call in the scientists and researchers, because you just did.

“A bother? Nonsense! You’re coming with us, right this instant! Right, Kabru?” Holm shakes his head disapprovingly, his eyes slimming and glimmering with mischief. He turns his body towards Kabru, using his elbow to prod Kabru into agreeing.

…

Okay, maybe you aren’t currently the only stupidest person in the world.

You were very much high up on that chart, but only trailing behind in second place.

Kabru’s expression was unreadable now, however the sweat dripping from his forehead and the hand that won’t stop adjusting his collar, his suddenly slightly widened eyes— gave it all away. Maybe not to the rest of the party, but it was as clear as day to you.

And possibly, for once in the 5 years apart— you were completely sure that you and Kabru had one shared thought, in this very moment. Your intentions and feelings are in complete synch and in perfect unison.

‘I’m going to have to kill this guy and hide his body so well to make sure he is never found.’

It was a reach on your part. Imagining his voice synching in with yours and everything. But you like to have fun sometimes.

Kabru anxiously clears up his throat before speaking, his gaze flickering to you repeatedly.

“Yeah, its uh… Safer if you come along.”

The words that just came out of his mouth, might as well have sent you straight to the sun. Your jaw drops, remaining agape for a few seconds. Your mind lost a couple of screws and gears, with your gaze unwavering and locked onto his figure.

You’re not sure if you’re losing your shit now, and only imagining the faintest blush on his face. But it’s a good thing to hallucinate right now— as the view is currently making your heart pound. So, props to your imagination.

“YEAH! And let’s drink our failures away, just like old times!” Mickbell raises his fist in the air, impatiently tugging at your hand to close in the distance between you and the rest of the party. However, this time you began a steady pace alongside him. They all began turning their backs on you, beginning their journey back gleefully with you by their side. However, you keep your distance away from them at the far back.

The mention of alcohol makes you feel faint, as you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth— feeling a strange thirst as the taste lingers on your taste buds. You haven’t had a drop of alcohol since that day.

Honestly, it would’ve been quite a help if you were able to drink all your sorrows away.

You were a huge drinker, and quitting cold turkey completely went crashing on you. If it wasn’t for your weird thing where you hold such high sentimental feelings for the most random places and objects, as well as your constantly empty pockets— you would’ve rather spent the rest of your days wallowing in that same tavern.

“Really? I… Don’t really have the budget right now to go out drinking.” You gently tug back your hand away from Mickbells, bringing it back to sway by your side instead. He didn’t seem to mind, putting his arms behind his head and walking off alongside the party.

“We’ll pay for it.” Kabru suddenly speaks up. The way he spoke made it obvious that he was rushing to make a comment before the perfect moment flew away. His voice quietly cracked in the beginning, almost choking the words out as he spoke. But he spared you no glance, keeping his back on you and his gaze set on the journey ahead.

It fed into that little hope you had in your heart.

But you also really wanted to knock his head onto the floor.

If he was that desperate to string you along with his party for a couple of days, then why didn’t he come running to your house begging you to come back when you left?

You grit your teeth, letting out a heavy exhale as you decided to hold onto that small hope instead of riding off your anger.

“Okay.” You sigh, letting a gentle smile spread through your face. You decide to entertain them and allow yourself to succumb to your gluttony for their company. Taking risks is stupid, but you would rather accept and see where life will take you— rather than end up regretting your decisions later.

I mean, how bad could it be?

“Do we even have the budget to go out?” Rin opposes, fingers never leaving her long jet-black hair as she walks. It made you ponder; do they actually have the budget? If they did, you’re starting to consider that you’ve finally found a stroke of luck.

Just about enough time to dissect Rin and Kabru’s current relationship, Kabru’s state after the breakup, catch up with old friends— AND, you finally get to drink to your hearts content!

“I have been saving up a secret stash of savings.” Kabru replies, patting down the side of his hips— pretending to pat down an imaginary sack of gold by his side to prove his point. This causes a couple of excited cheers and hollers to erupt from the party. Listening to the upbeat chatter from them, makes your smile widen even more. With how casual Kabru seemed to talk and address them, seeing how close-knit they all are now; it made you feel as if everything was going to be alright.

With a sudden pep to your step, you catch up with them eagerly from behind.

The walk towards the next floor was boring, to say the least. Though, you’re not one to really get upset over the looming silence— since you had gotten used to it over the years. But the stories of your adventures in your mind had only registered the interesting parts, completely blocking out all the mundane parts.

Even though you were currently treading on water, not even the tiny fishes wanted to entertain you. The process of getting the blessings onto the party was severely mundane, since your current party now possesses three magic users— making the process extremely fast.

Minus when you almost accidentally smacked Kuro across his furry face, as you watched Rin take her time casting the spell on Kabru. There weren’t really any romantic hints or teasing in the air, since they both remained professional and blank faced.

You’re just… A little butt hurt that he didn’t come to you.

There was a thick tension in the air, which you were convinced that only you and Kabru could sense (It was only between the two of you, unfortunately.) He kept his head held high, as he could feel you basically watching his every move— peeling his skin away in your mind and analyzing each move of his muscle, each beat of his racing heart. It was coming to the point that it had become a battle of pride.

Though, it came to a pitiful end as he glanced at you for a second as he turns his head to the side— side-eying you. To which, you react by averting your stare in defeat.

You need something else to distract yourself.

So, you instead decided to analyze their whole party set up— to fight against the boredom and the frightful echoes in your empty mind.

Your gaze starts from Kabru, who stands firm and confident at the front of the party. It made sense, as he was one of the main fighters of the team who was excellent at close range combat. He is also skilled at closing in long distances, with his agility and high awareness of his surroundings.  However, as you inch your stare to your left— there stood Rin.

Rin stood proudly by his side, providing a gentle teasing punch towards his arm. Kabru chuckles slightly, while she remains a strict and stern expression. Though the slight pink in her face catches your eye as his melodic chuckle makes it through her ears, making your jaw clench and scrape your teeth against each other.

If she was so daring to walk front and center alongside Kabru, she was possibly more knowledgeable on offensive magic. Usually, mages tend to mingle around the middle or possibly near the rear end of the party, letting the other fighters do the work as they take care of their flank and other enemies out of reach due to their longer ranged attacks. Mages don’t have a good set of defenses, usually depending on their party members to manage closer ranged enemies— Mostly due to the time it requires to charge and chant spells, as well as the position and stance putting them in a vulnerable situation.

The only sensible reason for her to be so confident at the front, was for Kabru to basically solo the enemies nearby for the sake of her safety. Working side by side, taking care of each other’s backs.

But you don’t want to accept that fact. So, you’d rather decide that she’s just there for… Other plausible reasons that you cannot think of.

Mostly because that’s what you and Kabru used to be like.

It churns your gut around a bit.

You haven’t seen her in battle, aside from casting blessings here and there— so you’re unsure of her specialty. You take a mental note to analyze the spells she casts in battles, whenever you encounter a monster on the way.

Behind the two comes another pair.

 ‘What is this, a buddy system?’ You groan internally

Daya trails closely behind Kabru and Rin, possibly yet another backup fighter in the cause for dealing with close ranged enemies that could surround the mage. She’s very strong, and much like Kabru is skilled and powerful using melee weapons— overpowering enemies using one handed combat with skilled axe wielding. Though, she lags slightly behind Kabru himself in terms of agility.

Next to Daya, trailed Holm. You could consider them close, but not necessarily too close knit with each other. Daya had once told you that she tends to gravitate more towards Holm due to their closeness in age, however they came off more as just friends rather than close friends.  

Holm is very passive in fights, so being in the middle provides him some protection from his front and his back— while also allowing him to swiftly run away and escape. If you had thought that it was only fight or flight, he has the third one: freeze. He gets easily overwhelmed in fast paced situations, which are, mostly but not exclusively, battles. 

He does not wield any weapons on hand, nor has any base offensive magic for assisting in battle. However, he does carry his elemental familiars with him— named Marillier and Essiet (Which, you found cute how he had given them names. Or did the familiars actually have names before being bound to Holm?) So being in the middle of the party allows him both to release his familiars easily with protection and having the freedom to flee or freeze.

Mickbell typically lounges behind the party, since he isn’t equipped with the typical weapons— nor does he have any confidence in fighting head on. He’s cowardly, and often runs away during battles. Sometimes, he’d make use of his poison darts to assist in the long run. His heightened senses allow him to detect enemies from behind easier, preventing any possible flanks.

Lastly, Kuro stands side by side with Mickbell— serving as his personal bodyguard and guarantees Mickbell’s safety. His heightened smell and hearing also pairs hand in hand with the halfling. He is also skilled in close ranged combat, as a melee fighter that uses his sharp teeth and strong jaw to his advantage.

And… Then there’s you.

You feel somewhat uncomfortable now, seeing how they complete each other so perfectly. You feel like when you finally finish a puzzle, but then there’s a random spare piece that doesn’t fit anywhere.

But it’s okay, knowing that they all have each other’s backs. They don’t need you anymore, but their safety and happiness— is your happiness.

-: ✧ :-゜・． TAGLIST

@sy1v30n @whatamidoing89 @meerpea @pop-ee104 @starriejin @valerayne @mshope16 @stefnarda @lovin-past @slightly-lonely-jonesy @auhokvam

[nanivinsmoke]

✩ Fire We Make.

endeavor x blackfem!reader

✩ a miniseries based off my one shot the assistant. this will be a multi part series and i will always link the previous one for you guys.

✩ this is not canon endeavor, he’s not abusive at all. hes actually very loving, just a little dick at times. also the reader is black (we all cheered). also thank you for 1k followers, yall all some freaks <3.

✩ warnings & tags: i switch perspectives a lot in this, there’s no nsfw yet. established crush.

you’ve got to be fucking kidding.

there’s no way, absolutely no fucking way, especially not on your first day.

you were currently in the arms of a big sasquatch, who tormented a bunch of civilians as they ran for their lives. you should’ve turned on another block, but you just had to take a main road. and to make matters worse you were going to be late for your new job.

you cursed yourself and everyone who prayed on your downfall the past couple of years, blaming them for the situation you were in. but, as your mind was preoccupied a series of flames were being thrown at the big hairy man; making him lose grip on your body.

‘great. now im going to fall to my death’

you closed your eyes and said a prayer, hoping someone would hear it. and it felt like someone did because you were engulfed in a set of big muscular arms. looking up at your savior, you were shocked to see the number two hero holding you.

endeavor, placed you down and continued to throw flames at the villain; causing him to stop drop and roll. and while that happened, a reinforcement team captured the sasquatch, sending him to jail.

you smoothed out your black and white striped skirt, grabbing your fallen brief case—before you were suddenly ridiculed by the man who judged you.

“you’re lucky i was already in this area. hopefully you’ll stay out of harm’s way” his voice deep and stern, causing you to roll yours eyes. you were going to give him a piece of your mind, but your watched ticked and you remembered where you had to be.

“fuck! im so g’na get fired.” he turned to look at you and with an eye roll he picked you up. “where do you have to go?”

“The Endeavor Agen—oh,” you realized that you were now in the arms of your boss and you hoped that he wasn’t going to fire you. he rolled his eyes once more and continued into the direction of his agency.

it didn’t take long for the two of you to arrive, and when you did, he led the way to his floor; where his office resided. while the two of you waited for the elevator, he decided to ease the awkwardness by talking, saving you from biting your fingers off.

“what position are you here for?”

“im here to be your assistant. please don’t let what just happened to steer you away from me. im good at what i do, check my credentials.” you pulled a folder out of your black leather briefcase, your heels clicking while you walked into the elevator.

he said nothing as he read your file, making you even more nervous. so, you decided to keep talking. “i hear your going to be appointed the number one hero and I think it’s best to have a press conference before. it would ease the minds of the civilians, it would let them know that their in good hands. you should make this about them, but also mention allmight. how you know it’s big shoes to fill, but you thank home for every he’s done.”

his deep dark red eyebrows rose as he listened to you talk, his bright eyes still on your a-list resume. everything checked out, you had tons of recommendations from other hero’s and celebrities. maybe you were a good fit for this job.

you paused, wondering what did he have to say about your suggestion as the elevator doors opened up to the penthouse floor. the office was huge, a bunch of desks neatly placed on the floors; each decorated with the employees most favorite things. the windows were huge, sky rise, giving off a perfect view of the city.

he finally motioned for you to continue, still leading the way to his office, “I also feel like you should switch out your hero suit and go with a nice business suit. navy blue’s your favorite color, but i feel like a nice cool gray armani suit would make you look more trusting. i believe there should already be a selection of suits in your office already.”

he was amazed at how you moved, how you already planned ahead, despite what caused you to have a delay. he opened the door to his office, the smell of fresh oak and cinnamon hit your nostrils, making you feel warm inside. and just like you predicted, a stand with suits hanging from it was in his office, waiting for him.

“Alright, I won’t fire you. But, you also have to attend this conference with me. Hope you have an extra outfit for you to wear,” you sighed, knowing you were here to stay; warmed you.

“ill have a darker gray pantsuit on the way for me. our colors will compliment each other, sending a message that you stand as a unit. I’ll let you get dressed and I’ll call the car for us when you’re ready to go.” She smiled and he couldn’t help the one that grew on his. She was perfect already.

On their way to the conference hall, she decided to go over a few things with her boss; to prepare him for what’s to come. “Sir, you might get some questions that might upset you and are triggering, but I want you to leave those to me. Let me answer those questions. You wouldn’t want them to think negative of you, okay?” She advised and the pro-hero nodded. He admired her preparation and was glad to have her on his team.

Soon, the company car stopped and they were outside of the hall. Paparazzi stood outside waiting to snap a picture of the flame hero and he mentally cringed. “Media will have a field day with any negative picture of you, let’s just ignore them.” She led the way inside, ignoring the camera people’s questions.

The conference came and went, it was successful. All though there was a question from a reporter about Endeavor’s youngest son.

“How do you feel about your youngest becoming a pro-hero in the making and having to fight your battles?” y/n took over the mic and answered the question for him.

“He’s not fighting his father’s battles, he’s learning. As any UA student it’s common that you’re going to get a lesson where you’d might fight a villain or two, stronger than you. You will have to persevere and understand your strengths and the opponents weaknesses. It’s apart of the journey of getting stronger and becoming a hero.”

the way you were able to answer the question and leave the reporter satisfied, with no further questions; was amazing. He could see why you have so many recommendations already. Endeavor grabbed that microphone and thanked everyone for their time, before the two of you departed and hopped back into the company car.

the sky turned a shade of dark amber as the sun began to set, signifying that it was getting late. as the two exited the tinted black car and it drove away, they stood outside the building for a second; looking at each other before Endeavor spoke.

“Would you care to join me for dinner, I usually order take-out and eat it here; before tying up some things at the office.” you smiled and nodded your head, this would be a good opportunity for you to get to know you boss a little bit better.

on the elevator ride up, found a place to order from; putting in your order and his. and it didn’t take long for the food to get there either, as soon as you walked off; a delivery hero was there waiting with your food. after tipping the hero and grabbing the food, you followed him inside his huge office. he sat in his leather rolling chair and you took the liberty of sitting on his desk.

while the two of you ate, you quickly got to know each other. you talked about a variety of things and you learned he was actually very funny. soon, the sky was now a dark blue, adorned with an array of white stars, and the two of you had finished eating. but, you weren’t ready for the day to end just yet.

a question you were dying to ask popped into your head and flew right out of your mouth, “How’s your wife?” you wanted to scrape your skin off, trying to avoid his gaze as he his face changed from a variety of expressions.

“She’s good…why’d you ask?” his answer was not the one you were hoping for and you wished you could just retract your statement. “Nothing. I just wanted to know.”

His icy stare pierced the side of your face and you couldn’t ignore it, it was like he was melting you from the outside. Like he could see what you were thinking. “My marriage…is complicated.” Endeavor admitted, running a hand through his spiky red hair.

You held your hands up and shook it, “you don’t have to explain your marriage to me. forget that i asked! Hey, it’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow” before he could even respond, you grabbed your food and headed out the door. Too embarrassed to turn around.

Endeavor watched you walk out the door, a twinge of confusion and disappointment came over him. He wanted to call you back over, but he resisted the urge and let you walk right out the door. “Yeah, see you tomorrow…”

The next day rolled around rather quickly, it was more dull than the day before. That’s because you were doing your best to avoid him. You kept to yourself, organizing your files, scheduling meetings and replying to emails. The only time you spoke to him was for little things and you kept it professional, and short. You were so embarrassed from yesterday.

You had a crush on Endeavor before you started to work for him and the day he saved you, increased the attraction you felt for him. So, when you found out he was still married; even with their problems, you were disappointed. You couldn’t compete with that.

Soon, the amber gaze fell over the sky once again and the employees soon left the building one by one—only leaving the two of you. Endeavor was waiting for everyone to leave, that way he could finally talk to you; without extra ears. his six foot five frame towered over you and yours desk, making you look up from the paperwork you had neatly stacked on your desk.

“I wanted to know if you’re okay? you seemed very distant.” his voice was softer than usual and his cool blue eyes stared at your softer ones.

“Im okay, why?” your words had came off a little bit aggressive than you hoped. “just wanted to let you know, if you need to talk….im here.” he gave you a small smile and walked back into his office.

you sighed, slamming your pen down onto the stack of paper, before putting your hands onto your melanated face. you sat there, thoughts running rampant, before you got up and entered his office with a knock. “Sir?”

“yes, y/n?” his expression was neutral, watching you as you walked closer to his desk.

“i want to apologize. i was really rude to you and yesterday was not something i should be asking my boss.”

“don’t worry about it, besides i didn’t take offense to it” his smile made you relax, feeling like you got a a chip off your shoulder. you sat on the edge of his desk, as a mental reminder went off in your head. “hey, i see there’s an annual hero charity event happening this saturday. are you going to attend?”

“charity events are my kind of thing…ill pass” you pouted and got even more comfortable on his desk, eyes pleading with him. “It’ll be a good look for you and the agency, plus I’ll be attending. what do you say?”

he took a nice long pause, formulating what he was about to say next, “Alright. Alright, I’ll see you Saturday. Don’t expect me to be happy about it though.” you smiled and clapped your hands, reaching over to hug your boss, allowing him to take in your scent. the smell of your strawberries and creme perfume was intoxicating to him. the two of you sat there, longer than expected before you pulled away.

“See you saturday and goodnight” he watched you get up from his desk and strutted out his office door. your long legs jiggled each time you moved, hypnotizing him, until he couldn’t see them anymore. ‘Damn’ he whispered to himself and brushed his hair back.

he couldn’t wait to see you again.

[akai-akai]

okay so I've ranted about my "Simon Riley is a Dork" philosophy, now I bring you...

John MacTavish is a NERD.

I see how he's often pinned as the rambunctious "airhead" of the team, and that may be true to some to degree but he's not STUPID.

Listen, this man is a demolition expert. That involves all kinds of maths, measurements, electrical work, mechanics, technical shit I'm not well-versed in, etc. Demolitions experts have to be pretty damn smart to be considered experts.

I think Johnny was 100% a robotics kid growing up. Maybe even dabbled in coding and mathematics club. I seriously think he was one of the nerdy kids in highschool/secondary school.

And though that part of him is still very much there, it's quieter now. Shrouded by professionalism and experience and maturity. But then, sometimes when he's had a few too many drinks, or if Simon plucks just the right strings, he'll go on these long tangents about the different mathematics, or about this robot he built by hand in highschool by himself in his parents' garage-turned-robotics-lab— the garage lab that he accidentally set on fire and blew up a can of old hairspray his sister had left on his desk. (He totally wasn't using it as a blowtorch to kill some poor unsuspecting bug, his sister just left the spray there and he didn't notice it. That small burn scar on his left hand is completely unrelated.)

And of course, Simon will sit quietly and patiently, watching the way Johnny's eyes light up and his face gets more and more expressive, arms and hands moving wildly, animatedly. He's so passionate, it makes Simon's eyes soften with affection.

And when Johnny's especially focused on the blueprints in front of him during a mission, clock ticking and pressure weighing down on him, he's a sight to behold. Somehow, that's when he works best. Brows pinched, lips pressed in a tight line as his brain works over the details, pieces a plan together as he mutters under his breath, pen scratching on the paper, recites numbers for the other team members to remember. And then his brows smooth out and he gets this giddy look as things click together in his mind and his head snaps up and he gets to work— John knows to let him take the lead here, and quietly notes to himself that John MacTavish would make for a great Captain down the line.

Sometimes when he can't sleep or his mind's a little too loud, he'll sit up at the little desk in his barracks with the dim lamp illuminating a worn-out blue sketchbook, pencil eraser trapped between his teeth as he scans his old notes and sketches and unresolved equations. Mundane math and physics that doesn't take a lot of mental power, but still relaxes him nonetheless.

In addition, he'd be good at sketching. Specifically blueprints and modeling. Dimensional stuff and perspective. Finds a quiet corner somewhere on base— usually that old tree out by the dirt track— and sketches away models, some of which are totally unrealistic but he doesn't care. He'll sketch a giant sci-fi atomic canon model with realistic mathematics and semi-viable science behind it if he wants to.

When he needs to memorize a new model, he'll draw each individual piece, each little working part as if he's dissecting it and mapping it out in his brain. Sometimes when Simon flips through Johnny's sketchbooks, he'll find 10+ pages filled with the same model, over and over, and it's like he can see every thought process, every reasoning, every time Johnny clicks something together in his mind.

Johnny is brilliant. He's a scientist, an expert in his field. He's a total nerd and I love him for it.

(His average shower thoughts are either complex science that would give the average person a migraine, or Simon's eyes. No in between.)

NSFW:

This time, the tables are turned. Johnny will be mid-ride on top of Simon in bed, purposely distracting himself in his mind to hold off his own release (bc it's a competition and he'll be damned if he finishes first) and then suddenly he'll remember a bomb blueprint he was deconstructing the previous day and he'll plop down, sitting up stock straight as he curses and something makes a PING! sound in his brain and suddenly he's leaning over while Simon raises a questioning brow, hands still firmly gripping Johnny's hips as he snatches his notebook and pen from his table side drawer, flops the book unceremoniously on top of Simon's chest, hunches over, and begins writing and muttering to himself.

And Simon just waits, halfway between disgruntled and amused. Just sorta resorts to grinding his hips upward— to which Johnny firmly plants his hips downward, keeping them still, and Simon just sighs and waits some more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simon's in love with this idiot, don't let him fool you. I love them a healthy amount.

[kyoshitargaryen]

shifting tips for neurodivergent shifters!

shifting tips for autistic people, and for those with ADHD and OCD! for scripting ideas, click here! (coming soon!)

hey, everyone! I'm autistic and I have ADHD and OCD -- all of these things have greatly impacted my journey. these are some of the things that have helped me progress with shifting and with getting to a healthy place mentally in general. note : I have aphantasia, so any time I mention "visualizing" it moreso means thinking of it. instead of seeing "visualizing" as something you can't do, put it into perspective of the things you CAN do. if you can daydream, you can visualize, even if you're not physically seeing anything. don't let it stop you!!

tips!

don't think that you can't shift while autistic. I've done it, and you will too if you haven't already. the only thing that could stop you is your own lack of belief.

if you're like me, you take everything extremely literally. that makes understanding what people -- especially neurotypical people -- mean when they give advice difficult and even harder to apply. here's some things that I've realized about common shifting tips.

5 Senses Methods

I've noticed that some people who talk about "using" your senses, don't exactly mean to use them or to force them. for the longest time, I kept getting so caught up in trying to force the experience that I was keeping myself from shifting entirely instead of trying to physically hear something, or taste or smell or feel, focus more on understanding how those senses work. you probably know the taste of your favourite soda. you probably know what steak or chicken tastes like. you know how when you have your mind set on a particular dinner or drink or experience, you HAVE to have it or else you won't be hungry or thirsty or excited? you KNOW what those things taste like. you KNOW what you expect, all while not physically having those things in front of you. try living in that expectation, in the knowledge and understanding of what you're going to get. this also works with general manifestation! think about what you're wanting for dinner tonight. think about your dream vacation destination. just lightly imagine it. you might be able to almost taste it now. you might be able to almost feel the wind on your skin, or a light rain, or warm sunshine. try approaching shifting like that!

I struggled for the longest time over letting myself move when I go to shift. Feeling symptoms go away just because I had to move or twitched unconsciously was so frustrating. I actually forced myself to lay perfectly still on my back even while feeling physical discomfort and pain. yes, I understood that you can move, and that you don't need symptoms to shift, but I was so caught up in feeling the transition and in my body in general that I found it impossible to let go of control like that. when I first tried focusing on the position my body would be in in my desired reality, I focused way too hard on feeling it. and I'll be honest, forcing myself to feel the physical sensation of laying down in a different position did work. I really did feel it. It just didn't help me shift. and obviously the moments where I would become more aware of my body in this reality or I needed to move were practically devastating. but then something clicked. I was so busy trying to feel my whole body in my desired reality that I was only grounding myself in this reality, and I was slowing down if not outright stopping myself from shifting. you know how you breathe automatically until you are suddenly reminded that you have to breathe to survive? or how you don't necessarily feel your knees or your toes until you think about them? you're only aware of the parts of your body that you are actively interacting with. our minds are trained to tune out a large amount of the sensory information going on in our bodies. imagine how exhausting it would be if you had to manually pump your heart. you probably don't feel what you're sitting or laying down on after you've been there for a long period of time, unless you're actively feeling discomfort or pain. take a moment to take stock of your body. now that you're aware of it -- you probably feel so much more than you did a few minutes ago when you weren't thinking of it. keep that in mind! now pay attention to the places your body overlaps. right now, my elbows are on my lap, and my ankles are tucked under my thighs. the places where your body overlaps are the easiest things to focus on and remember. picture yourself in the passenger seat of a car. you're tired, so you're leaning down on the centre console. your head is tucked into your elbow to shield your eyes from light. focus on the parts of your body that overlap. you KNOW how it feels to rest your head in your elbow. you likely know how it feels to sleep in the passenger seat. instead of trying to pay attention to your body as a whole, think of these little contact points. do this for a few minutes, and I guarantee you that you'll eventually begin to actually feel it, or at least, you'll forget about your physical body in this reality. don't make yourself feel this things, just remember how it feels. this way of aligning myself to my desired reality makes the process go by so much faster. once I feel comfortable remembering how my body would feel in that position, I move on to other things. I remember how it would feel to have my fingers run over the seatbelt or the buckle. I remember how the blinker or the windshield wipers sound. slowly but surely, these things build up and then you're not consciously thinking of them anymore, you're just there. but the best part of it? it's so easy to get myself back into the "zone" if I move in my CR. since I'm not trying to feel a whole environment and my whole body at once, I'm able to quickly and easily remember and experience the position I'm in in my DR. I don't worry about symptoms, or even actively notice them. I'm just there. once I have put my focus on those few contact spots, I'm in my DR. then, it's just a waiting game for when I can open my eyes. I'm in no rush, because I'm just relaxing!

Staircase Method

don't worry about visualizing the perfect space. I was so caught up in making sure the amount of stairs I was walking up or down matched the environment I was thinking of. don't worry about that. the only thing that matters is getting yourself to a point where you're relaxed and you can let go of your original reality. I kinda see shifting as removing velcro. your consciousness is velcro'd to this reality, especially when you're inexperienced with shifting, have doubts, or are going through a slump. the deeper you get into a method, the farther you get from focusing on your CR (the fact that you're still there, that you still feel your body, that you still hear and smell your CR environment), the more the velcro releases. if you try to make everything perfect, you're only making yourself realize that you're not actually in your DR, that you're just doing a method. instead, just focus on knowing how it feels to walk up or down stairs. don't worry about a length of time, or the number of stairs. don't worry about any turns or bends, just go straight up or down. once you feel like the "velcro" of this reality has released, you're ready to enter your DR.

Counting

at the beginning of my shifting journey, I was obsessed with making sure I counted correctly. if I accidentally skipped or repeated a number, I would get so frustrated. don't worry about being accurate or perfect. the sun does not rise and fall on your ability to count on endlessly. focusing too hard on counting will just keep you from becoming aware of your DR. again -- try not to focus so hard on the process of getting to your DR, try to just focus on being in your DR.

Just BE in Your DR (or, Let Go of Control)

I have two ways that I love to describe this;

it's like driving a car. when you've reached your destination, you put the car in park, you turn it off, and you get out. you don't drive past it, or keep hitting the gas, you don't assume that you haven't made it yet. you just know you're there.

it's like trying to fall asleep. you might be counting sheep, or daydreaming, or thinking about what you want to dream of, but you're NOT thinking about how to get home, you're not thinking about changing your clothes, or brushing your teeth, or doing your nighttime routine. you're just there, in your bed, waiting for sleep to take you. you know there's nothing left to do but sleep. so let yourself exist in your DR. think of methods as a way for you to pass time in your DR rather than a way of getting there. you're on a long car ride, or the hogwarts express, or in the middle of a lull hour at your job. you have freetime, so you just keep your mind busy enough to be entertained (and possibly ready to go if you're needed). just relax. you're there. you're just don't need to be "on" right now. think of how you mask in social situations, but you unmask when you're by yourself or you're somewhere safe and comfortable. your mask doesn't need to be on! your customer service voice doesn't need to be used. think of it like being idle in a video game!

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

especially when I go to shift, I get intrusive thoughts. what if everyone hates me? what if my s/o cheats on me? what if I somehow cause a sequence of events that gets someone or an animal hurt or killed? it doesn't matter if I have things scripted to prevent all of these, my brain thinks them anyway. intrusive thoughts don't bend to logic. so don't try to use logic to fight them. it's gonna sound kinda crazy, but just think the opposite every time they come up. thoughts are just thoughts. even the ones that seem really scary and really powerful.

Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.

as much as I dislike Dumbledore, he kinda ate here. it's the same thing with thoughts -- if you have an intrusive thought, immediately combat it with the opposite sentiment. it might seem ridiculous or pointless at first, but I promise you, it will work eventually. this has been my favourite way to heal through my anxiety and my ocd. no, it doesn't go away, but I've learned how to manage them, and how to stop fearing them. they're just shadows, and all they need is light to be driven away. have you ever done or said something ironically or as a joke, and then somehow over time it became a genuine part of your personality? that's because your brain is even more literal than you are -- it can't tell when you're doing something as a joke, it just knows that you ARE doing something. that's what "fake it until you make it" is all about. it's how I've completely transformed my world, manifested physical changes, created a better self image and grew my confidence level. one day you'll be thinking poorly of yourself, but then eventually, once you start actively fighting against those thoughts, your brain catches up to them and believes it as fact. that's the magic behind affirmations! don't think you can only use them to shift or to manifest. you can use them just as effectively to make changes within yourself!

that's all for now! I hope these tips help you guys, because they really have changed both my life and my shifting / manifestation journey for the better.

yoshi !!

[sandwitchstories]

Five Seconds

Annnnnnd I'm back with more Kyojuro Rengoku smut!

I realized recently that I do not see a lot of representation in fan fiction (and fiction in general) for AFAB people who need lube for sex to be enjoyable, including in my own writing. So, I decided I needed to fix that and this was the perfect story. Be part of the change you wish to see, right?

If you prefer to read it on AO3 please click here !

Summary: Y/N and her boyfriend, Kyojuro Rengoku, return home after having had a disagreement. While not yet ready to wave her white flag, Y/N knows she needs to do something to defuse the situation. She goes with the first thought that pops into her head and while unconventional, it does the trick. Annnnd then some.

WC: 3300+

CW: MDNI, AFAB Reader, AFAB terms used to describe the sexy bits, SMUT, lube, teacher Rengoku, dom/sub undertones, oral (f!receiving), brat taming (kinda?), face sitting, spanking, Vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, rough sex, smut with feels, doggy style, NOT canon, and more. Check on AO3 for a full list

Divider by: @steviebbboi

Y/N grit her teeth as she got out of her boyfriend’s car in the parking space in front of their townhouse. The whole ride home had been tense due her and Kyojuro having had a disagreement. It was very rare for them to argue and honestly, this fight was over a truly trivial matter... 

Honestly, he was not fully wrong. It was a matter of different perspectives. But she was still not ready to raise her white flag out of spite as he was still on one about it. Y/N sighed as she acknowledged to herself that she needed to figure out a way to diffuse the flames of purgatory that had been unleashed.

She tuned out Kyojuro as he picked up his pace to keep up with her after shutting his door more forcefully than was needed, but still not quite slamming it. She unlocked the door, and opened it. Not giving in to the temptation to grab the handle and ‘close’ it behind her. Kyojuro had ridiculously fast reflexes and would catch it with absolutely zero effort. And it probably would not help the situation

She kicked off her flip flops and headed into the house. Kyojuro shut and locked the door behind him before kneeling to untie his shoes. An idea suddenly popped into her mind of how to end this whole thing quickly and put the adrenaline from the disagreement to a better use. She had never tried it before but maybe it would work…

“Kyojuro!” She said his name firmly so he paused mid action, looking up at her with a scowl on his handsome face.

“What?!”

She yanked up her shirt and bra, exposing her breasts to him. He froze solid. She watched his eyes instantly change from anger to desire as his gaze shot down from her face.

He began to hurriedly untie his shoes before giving up and standing up to yank them off. “You have 5 seconds.”

“For what?” Y/N asked, still holding up her shirt.

“A head start.”

Y/N laughed as Kyojuro tried to hurry his shoe removal and it got stuck, making him kinda hop on one foot for a minute before he got it to move. She yanked down her top and took off running to their bedroom, giggling as she heard his heavy steps coming after her. He caught up when she was just through the entryway. She turned towards him only to have her face yanked into a passionate kiss. He bent his knees and lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, before quickly laying them down on the bed.

His hands moved quickly,  one shoved under her top and bra, squeezing her breast before pinching and pulling on her nipple until she moaned into his mouth, her hips instantly beginning to rock against him. His other hand cupped her face as he deepened the kiss. His hand slid down to her nape, cupping the back of her head.

“Are we okay?” She asked as he broke the kiss when they both needed more oxygen than their noses could offer. She knew they were but some little part of her still needed that reassurance from him. Needed to know he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Always,” he told her. His hand left her breast, shirt and bra still pulled on to her upper chest. He cupped her other cheek, his thumb running across her bottom lip. “We will always be okay. No matter how bad the fight. Because I love you and you love me.”

“I do, I do love you. So much,” she said, hands cupping his face and bringing him down into another scorching kiss, moaning into his mouth as he pressed his hard cock against her center.

He broke the kiss, looking down and thumbing her bottom lip again, watching it spring under his movement. “However! There is the matter of you being a brat that still needs to be addressed. Your incredible breasts indeed did work their magic but there is still a lesson to be learned.”

“Oh yeah?” She asked, smirking up at him and leaning forward to nip his lower lip, pulling on it before letting it go. She moved her head and spoke softly in his ear before she gave a quick suck and nip to his lobe. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Give you one hell of an attitude adjustment.” He kissed her passionately before abruptly pulling back to help her rid herself of her shirt and bra before capturing her lips in a rough kiss.

Kyojuro's hands grabbed hers, pinning them above her head with one large hand.  His free hand stabilized her breast as he dipped his head to latch on one of her nipples, sucking hard and pulling on it until she cried out loudly. As he alternated breasts, his hands moved to undo her jeans. He released her nipple before sitting back. He gripped onto her jeans. Y/N lifted her hips so he could yank the material down roughly, tossing the clothes behind him. “Fours. Now.”

She did what he directed, moaning the second he covered her body with his. The material of his clothes rubbed against her sensitive bare skin, making her shiver. His hands latched on to her hips with his fingers holding her in a bruising grip as his mouth claimed her neck and shoulders, sucking marks into her flesh as he went. 

He suddenly detached, moving one hand to press her head down gently but firmly to the mattress before he moved to be sitting on his knees behind her. His hands gripped and squeezed the fat of her ass. He spread her cheeks to give himself a better view, his hungry eyes  taking in the view from that sexy arch in her back, the swell of her ass and then focusing fully on her shiny slit, just begging for his cock, clenching around nothing. He licked his lips and moved his hands to be able to spread her pussy open with his thumbs, tracing them up and down her lips in a feather light touch.

He withdrew his hands before he gave her butt cheek a firm slap making her squawk in shock. He did it two more times, listening to the sultry moan she let out while watching the fat of her ass recoil from the contact. He leaned forward and nipped the same tender cheek he had just smacked. 

“Have you learned your lesson?” He asked, grazing the pads of his fingers up and down over her pussy again, just close enough to tease her slit where he knew she was dying to be touched. Boundaries between them had long ago been set, but he still checked in with her to make sure she was good. 

“What lesson? That being a brat will get me the rough treatment? Oh, I sure have, Mr. Rengoku. Lesson learned: be a brat more often!” 

Apparently she wants more… That’s one way to get it… Little shit. His cock throbbed in his pants.

“Don't move.” He took the bait, already having been hooked on the line the second she had flashed her breasts at him. He moved across the bed quickly and grabbed the small bottle of lube from his night stand drawer. 

His woman struggled with maintaining lubrication no matter how turned on and begging for his cock she was. Rather than making her ask for it, he kept it close and kept her cunt nice and lubed up. Pleasure was the only thing he ever wanted her to feel during these moments.

He tossed it on the bed as he stood behind her taking in the sight of her pert ass, and her pretty pink pussy spread open, just waiting for him. He palmed his still covered cock as his eyes hungrily roamed over her body.  

“Head up.” He leaned forward, grabbing onto her hips and yanking her to the edge of the bed before he sat on the floor tilting his head back against the mattress.

Y/N followed his instructions, allowing him to maneuver and position her so that her cunt now hovered right above his face. She had barely gotten her hands in a comfortable position on the bed before he was pulling her down onto his mouth and began feasting on her cunt. 

She cried out in pleasure as he licked her slit from the clit back to swirl around and tease the entrance of her hole, then back again to circle her tender pearl. The flat of his wide tongue felt incredible as he lapped at her folds, making her core flutter and clench on every pass. 

He smirked against her, his tongue traveling that same route several more times. His fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her even closer. This time when his tongue circled her hole he finally thrust it inside. 

He closed his eyes and moaned at the taste of her as he fucked her with his mouth. He thrust his tongue into her hole several times before he lifted her slightly and replaced his tongue with two fingers. He watched his fingers fucking into her hole above his head several times before he moved his mouth to focus on lapping and sucking at her clit.

“Kyojuro!” Y/N cried out his name. 

Her legs began shaking as her orgasm approached. All of her muscles tensed in expectation. The flutters spread throughout her veins. At the very cusp of her crescendo Kyojuro remembered he was supposed to be taming his beloved shrew and pulled away. 

He chuckled at her sound of distress before nipping her inner thigh playfully and moving to stand. He leaned over her, burying his hand in her hair and pulling her head back to kiss her passionately. 

Kyojuro broke the kiss and repositioned her to again be face down and ass up before he stood fully up. He ran his fingers up and down her overly sensitive folds as he dribbled the lube onto her spread cunt. He bit his lip as he watched his fingers working it into her hole and all along her slit thoroughly. He took advantage of the situation and edged her yet again as he got her ready for him. 

“You're so mean!” she glared at him from where her head was still flat to the mattress like she knew he wanted. 

“You brought this on yourself,” he reminded her. “Scoot forward a bit.”

He quickly undressed, grateful to free his cock and balls from their cotton prison.  His cock was so hard it hurt and could no longer be ignored. He knelt on the bed directly behind her and grabbed his cock with his lubed hand. He stroked it several times before he ran the swollen tip up and down her lubed slit, biting his lip and moaning softly at the incredible feeling. 

She wailed in pleasure as he impaled himself in balls deep on the first stroke, as soon as his cock caught on her hole. She instantly began pushing back on him, finally getting part of what she wanted. High thick, hard length felt so good inside of her. She wanted… no needed more…“Oh gods! Yes! So full! ”

“Oh… fuck, Y/N…” He rasped out her name as his eyes fluttered and he groaned at the feeling of finally being inside her tight, hot cunt. 

His fingers held her still and he stayed motionless for a moment, giving her a chance to adjust and him to savor the feeling of her enveloping him. It did not take him long to give in to what he knew they both wanted. He braced a foot on the bed beside her, giving himself an angle to go even deeper inside of her. His hands latched onto those perfect hips in a grip guaranteed to bruise and began fucking into her in earnest. 

She cried out, fingers tangling in the sheets, searching for anything to lock her into place as he pounded into her cunt. It felt so good. All of it. His cock splitting her and stretching her as it dragged in her gummy walls. The thump and sensation of him going as deep as she could take him on every single thrust. She mewled as he filled her over and over again.

“Oh, so now you’ve got nothing to say?” Kyojuro teased, slowing his strokes just a bit so he had more freedom to move. He leaned forward, burying his hands in her hair, like he knew she loved, and pulling her head up in a firm grip. He needed more from her. He wanted to hear her getting drunk on his cock. “Come on, Y/N. Let me hear you.”

He moved a hand under her thigh, two fingers taking up residence on either side of her clit. As he sped up his thrusts again he began to move his fingers on her clit at the same pace. Those long sinful fingers of his pinched, rolled and circled around the over sensitive bead.

Desperate, filthy sounds sprinkled with curses spilled out of her mouth. Her muscles began to tense and her pussy began to tighten on his cock. 

“That’s it! That’s my mouthy girl! Knows exactly what I want…”

He hit that special spot inside her and she cried out. “There, baby, there!”

His hand released her hair, moving to rest on her throat as he pounded into her from behind and his fingers worked her clit so well. He knew just what she liked. She was about to start begging to finish when Kyojuro spoke in a firm but winded tone. “Cum for me, Y/N. Cum on my cock.”

He increased his speed and tightened his hand just slightly over her throat. She called his name as she came, her pussy fluttering and pulsing on his cock, getting slicker and sloppier by the second. The squelching noise of the lube somehow sounded filthier now knowing her cream was mixed in.

The hand on her throat moved under her to bring her more up right so her back was pressed against his front. Her head fell back on to his shoulder as his large hand took up residence splayed between her breasts. He lowered his hips closer to the bed so that now she was basically sitting on his lap. He resumed thrusting, beginning to piston his cock up into her cunt at a harsh speed. 

Y/N shook from over sensitivity that bordered on pain but felt so fucking good. She whined loudly as he kept abusing that spot and kept rubbing her clit. Her nails dug into his thighs where they were braced. Her hips writhed in pleasure on top of him as she kept fucking herself back onto his cock, meeting every thrust, riding him just as hard as he was fucking her even as she whined, their sweat slicked skin sliding easily against each other. “It’s too much!” 

“Give me one more, my flame. I know you can do it,” he said, mouthing her neck and shoulder as he continue to fuck up into her hot tight core. 

His fingers at her clit switched from circles and strokes to a swaying motion. He applied more pressure to her clit as his fingers moved faster back and forth on the bundle of nerves. Her next orgasm came on suddenly, fast and almost violently. She keened loudly in his arms as she was pulled into the vortex. Her hand quickly moved to rest on the forearm of the hand between her legs as she threw her head back farther in ecstacy.

He immediately moved the hand away at her tap out sign, instead curling both of his arms under her to grip onto her breasts. One of her hands came to rest on his nape, holding his face in the crook of her neck. His thrusts slowed to languid movements, drawing out her pleasure as long as he could, letting her ride out her high on his cock. Her movements against him were getting slower, shakier.

“Cum for me, Kyojuro, please. I want you to fill me up.” Her voice was breathy as she turned her head and pulled him into a messy kiss. “I need it.”

“Tell me how you want it,” he said, mouthing her neck right below her ear. He spoke in husky tones. “Tell me how you want me to fuck my cum into you.”

She clenched on his cock at his dirty talk. “I want to see your face.”

“Lay down,” he said, helping her change positions and moving to kneel between her thighs, his cock still painfully hard. 

He coated his cock in lube again before grabbing onto her hips and pulling her closer so she was nestled against his lap. He pressed her thighs back, spreading her open fully and placing his cock between her slick pussy lips, sliding it up and down her sensitive slit. He closed his eyes,  pressed his lips together and groaned.

Y/N moved her hand between them and guided him to her center. She kept her hand there, her fingers spread in a V as she felt him press into her fully. She held his gaze as she kept her hand there as his hands gripped the backs of her thighs and he began to thrust.

“You feel so good,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her.

His hands found hers and he moved them up above her head, locking their fingers together as his thrusts built up speed. Soon he was bracing on his palms with her knees against the bed, hips rolled back as far as they could go and fucking down into her used cunt with abandon.

“Fuck! Gods!” She cried out, her hands moving to his shoulders to drag her nails down his back in pleasure. “You give it to me so good, baby!”

He let out what almost sounded like a whimper at her words, throbbing inside of her silken walls. His thrusts were getting sloppier, falling out of time. “Close, I’m so close!”

“Give it to me, Kyo, you know it’s what I want,” she said, hands moving to frame his face as he thrust against her. She kissed him passionately, before pulling back, still cupping his face. “Cum for me, please. I’m begging for it, Kyo.”

Her words absolutely destroyed him just as she intended. His cock rammed into her harder as he chased his high until he roared out her name, filling her up just like she begged for. He thrust against her, slowing and going until fully spent. 

Kyojuro rested back on his legs, slowly pulling out and watching his cum dribble out of her for a moment before he turned his gaze back to Y/N’s face. She laid against their pillows in a haze of exhaustion that only comes from a good fucking, with a smile on her lips, a sheen of sweat covering her skin. 

He grinned and leaned down over her, bracing on his palms and pressing a few gentle kisses to her lips. “Did you learn your lesson?”

“Yes, but not the lesson you intended,” she said with a laugh, she reached up and pulled loose the tie in his ponytail, running her fingers through his fiery hair as it fell around his face. 

“Oh?” he asked, arching a brow at her. “Then what lesson did you learn?”

“That flashing you in the middle of an argument not only ends the argument but gets me fucked stupid.”

He laughed, kissing her again before plopping down next to her and pulling her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and smiled at the ceiling in contentment. He couldn't deny that what she said was true. “Well, at least you learned something.”

[wystiix]

talk to me, please

❥ pairing: venti x gn!reader ❥ synopsis: Venti anxiously waits for a text from you to the point where he overthinks and nearly spirals into madness—will you please just fucking reply already? ❥ cw: crack, attempt at humour (kms), fluff maybe?? not proof-read so some stuff may not make sense lmao ❥ additional tags: lowkey kinda revolves around texting, venti's perspective, no pronouns for reader, modern setting, venti is a humanities major cuz i said so, does this count as socmed??? idk someone tell me i need to sleep it's 2am ❥ word count: 955 ❥ notes: bonjour hi hello kumusta. my foot is fucking asleep and my leg feels numb and my back hurts and i'm tired an it's 2am i have school i need to stop. okay so for context i was texting this girl and she wasn't replying so i went crazy, and then i thought "wait i could write a fic about this" and here we are. it was actually kinda fun writing this HAHAHAHAHA but i had to rush it cuz i have other stuff to do so uh it may be a bit quick. (see end notes after reading cuz i said so /j)

The clock ticked. It had been three hours. Venti stared at his phone, impatiently waiting for you just please, please, please reply.

Try to distract yourself, one may say, and mark these fucking words, he did.

He tried everything. From listening to music to doing the dishes, to cleaning his room. Oh, but that was not all.

For the past few hours, he reorganised his notes, desk and playlist, walked at least twenty laps around his dorm, ate all his snacks from the pantry like a fatass, cleaned up his closet and planned what he was going to wear a week from now, learned a new song on his guitar and even counted every single one of his ceiling and wall tiles.

There were exactly 146 tiles in his dorm. That number now forever haunts him.

Practically exhausted from being way too productive than he usually was, he slumped down on his bed and opened the app he used to text you. There was still no reply.

Venti buried his face into his pillow, letting out a groan of frustration.

It was incredibly frustrating and it nearly drove him crazy. Were you seriously that busy? Normally you would respond within a span of seconds, a few to thirty minutes at the latest. But fucking three hours?

He couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. You both had been talking for over a week—he couldn’t afford to mess this up. 

But what if you suddenly lost interest? Oh, it felt far too early for that. Was he finally going to have that Mitski experience? Was he going to be those depressed poets who poured their hearts out through their ink on the paper when a single minor inconvenience happened to them? 

You were killing him. And it was not softly. Venti felt as if his heart was shattering into a million pieces.

Was this his destiny, his punishment for choosing to pursue such a depressing major in humanities?

How cruel the universe is.

He sighed in defeat, opening his notes app to write and exude a poetic, Shakespearean ballad about this before his phone suddenly buzzed.

Ding! You have received a new message from [Name]!

Holy shit has his fingers never moved so quickly before in his entire life, clicking on the notification faster than he could blink. Your sudden message almost gave him a heart attack, for fuck’s sake.

So much for living and breathing Shakespeare.

Oh, how his heart fluttered. A simple message, yet it had him forget about his lament just a few seconds prior and he found himself swooning, practically glazing your message as if it was the most fascinating piece of literature he had ever laid eyes on.

Venti paused, rereading your message 25 million times, unsure how to reply. Should he respond right away, or would that be too eager? He didn’t want to come off as desperate, but three hours of waiting had been excruciating. Perhaps he should wait a minute or two… No, that would be too long!

God he wanted to punch himself in the face for clicking that notification too fast, now he has to think of a response on the spot or else he’d look like an asshole.

He started to type out a response.

k, i see.

He paused, immediately deleting the message with a shake of his head. Too dry, he has to sound interested. I understand! Would you like to shift the conversation to a less taxing topic? Delete. Too formal. LMAOOO dw dw, what was it about anyway? Delete. ahh hope the essay didn’t stress u out too much!! Delete. i’m madly in love with u Delete. Had he sent that he would find the nearest cliff and leap off.

Venti sighed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Why was this so complicated? He wanted to sound interested, but not desperate; casual, but not indifferent. He ended up typing something simple and hitting send before he could second-guess himself again. Sometimes, being simple is the ultimate sophistication.

He fought the urge to chuck his phone across the room. Shit, was that too casual? How long were you going to reply this time?

There were immediate blinking dots.

The tension in his chest eased as he found himself giggling at your comment. He realised the way he was acting earlier was ridiculous, maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Venti felt the weight lift off his shoulders. The conversation was back on track, and he could breathe easy again. Just as he was about to put down his phone, the blinking dots appeared again, and he immediately reverted his attention back to it.

Another message.

What.

What the fuck. Was this real?

He put his phone face down, allowing everything to sink in.

What the fuck. Coffee? Tomorrow? With you? Did you just ask him out? Was this real? Was he real? Were you real?

The anxiety that lingered within slowly ebbed away as he stared at the ceiling tiles—the same tiles that haunted him earlier. However, they now seemed oddly comforting.

“Holy shit.”

Gods above, was this a blessing? Maybe his love life wasn’t so hopeless after all.

Venti’s gaze drifted to his closet, where he noticed that same outfit he intended to wear a week from now. A cozy, soft-beige sweater with a hint of cream peeked out from behind a row of neatly hung clothes, gently draping over a pair of charcoal chinos.

He grinned like an idiot, giggling and kicking his feet like a little child who just received their favourite toy. A string of “oh my god, oh my god” repeated endlessly in his head like a loop.

And for once, the silence didn’t feel so heavy.

❥ notes: hi so yes. yes i did what he did here. yes i counted my tiles, but it was my bathroom tiles instead. there are like 121 tiles in the bathroom, including the hidden ones. in this fic i just added the average number of tiles to that number which was like 25 tiles??? lowkey idk i just estimated. and yes i did plan my outfit a week from now, which is for church. yes i cleaned my room. yes i walked more than ten laps around my living room. i was restless. yes i was productive as hell. lmfao by the time i was done with the fic she replied to me so yay!! win!! also pls get the "you were killing him and it's not softly" reference i hope someone at least gets it or else i'm gonna cry myself to sleep. yeah anyways im gonna sleep gn <3