#and that his songs should never be played on the public radios

[aristotels]

i actually do think you can consume art by problematic authors

hell, riblja čorba remains one of my fav bands ever and bora čorba was an actual četnik calling for genocide of croats (my people), to the point where he actively said in a song he wants to murder us. and check this: my father, who lived through the war, still loves his music and regularly plays it on the guitar. my dear friend, who grew up during war, hiding in the basement, listened to his records even then, while hiding from bombs. bombs dropped by četniks. by people like bora.

the difference between him and jk rowling is that he has literally zero power. hes an old nutcase living home and saying shit. he cant do a single thing to hurt us. he cant rally people against us and use his influence to spew hate. and he stopped saying that crap anyway, bc its not relevant anymore and hes a sad, crazy man, livin a miserable life.

another thing is: his music wasnt stained w anti-croatian rhetoric. in fact, him being a četnik is still smth i cant wrap my head around bc his music was so provocative and made sense. he sang abt dangers of ideology, yet succumbed to one himself. it was. so wild.

to the point: he doesnt profit off me listening to him, and he doesnt have any power. so yeah, in his case, im able to separate art from artist bc it isnt doing active harm.

[jyoongim]

~Blood & BLISS~

Human!Alastor x wife!Reader

Themes: 1930 based! Human!Alastor x wife!Reader, domestic life! fluff, smut, devotion, slight manipulation, mention of children, pregnancy,  blood, murder, secrets 

chapter two

Synopsis: Marrying New Orleans famous radio host had been a shocker to everyone. You, a southern belle from an esteemed family, had somehow managed to catch the attention of the mysterious bachelor. 

Your wedding was all in the papers and talk of the town, even though the ceremony was rather private.

You quickly settled in as the homemaker as Alastor brought home the dough and took care of you. 

It was a dream come true.

But Alastor was strange, even to you and you were his wife, but you brushed it off as him just being a man.  You had nothing to complain about. You lived in a nice big house, had the finest luxuries, and Alastor would dote on you. What wasn’t to love?

Well… all those things were nice, but you were starting to crave a family with your husband.

You knew of Alastor’s upbringing and had an inkling that children might not be an option…but Alastor wouldn’t deny you what you desired most would he? Of course not ma belle.

Alastor prided himself on how people often wondered about him. The renowned radio host, who the public rarely saw. He was a mystery to many. He frequented jazz lounges and often could be found drinking whiskey as he listened to the Mimzy gossip about the latest news.

He,  himself was shocked when he met you, the prettiest thing in the city. He had to have you. He knew you were the one.

Like the gentleman he was, he sent you flowers and love letters to begin courting you. He never tired of how shy you were around him. 

It wasn’t long before he asked your father for your hand and the two of you got hitched.

And what a wedding it was! he spared no expense to your disapproval.

Alastor was the epitome of what every husband inspired to be! 

Doting, providing, and attentive.

But he had a secret he kept from his little wife…

Can he maintain control over his domestic affairs and his sinister ones?

Soft jazz played in the background as you busied around the kitchen preparing dinner. The sizzling of the oil carried the scent of fried chicken as you chopped collards and added them to another pan to fry.

You hummed along to whatever song was playing as you cooked.

You took the chicken out of the grease, poured some of it in a can for later and used the rest to make cornbread. You stirred the collards a bit, adding pepper and a little salt before turning the stove off. You glanced at the clock; 6pm, Alastor should be coming home soon.

After putting everything in pretty dishes and wrapping it in foil you sighed tiredly as you finally got off your feet, plopping down on a couch.

You almost wanted to go back into the kitchen and clean up, but thought to just wait after dinner to do so. 

You perked as your radio made a noise, static as if the channel had changed, before the voice of your husband came through.

”Well folks that is all. I have for you tonight! I hope you enjoyed today’s broadcast and I will see you tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to be late for dinner nonono haha. Until next time!”

You smiled, feeling happy he wasn’t going to stay at the studio all night.

With that in mind, you quickly ran upstairs to freshen up, wanting to greet your husband without the smell of grease clinging to you.

“I’m home!” A voice called as the sound of the front door closing had you rushing downstairs.

Alastor was taking off his coat, when you greeted him “Oh let me take that” you smiled, grabbing his coat to put it away. He let out a relieved sigh as he removed his shoes and put them by the door. Once comfortable, his long arms were around your waist, pulling you into a kiss “And how was my beautiful wife today hmm?” He asked bringing a dainty hand to his lips. You giggled “Oh nothing worth mentioning. How was work today? I heard you signing off. I hate that I missed tonight’s broadcast” you mused, untying his bow tie. Alastor hummed “oh you know same ole same ole, through I will say I got a lot of fan mail today” he chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He took a whiff of the air and grinned “Hmm looks like I actually made it in time for dinner”

You both made your way to the kitchen and you immediately went to fix his plate, while he got glasses out of the cabinet and some red wine.

Alastor practically had drool coming out of his mouth as the smell of food wafted into his nose. You took a seat across from him and smiled. “My my my dear what a meal youve prepared tonight!” He commented as he took a bite out of the cornbread, moaning in delight.

It always filled your heart with happiness seeing Alastor eat your food. When you first got married, you didn’t have a clue on how to cook. It was rather embarrassing, but you had grown up with personal cooks.

But Alastor didn’t mind teaching you, and soon enough you were whipping up delicious meals that filled his stomach, rather than upset it.

Dinner was quiet as the two of you enjoyed each others company, Alastor making comments about the lastest gossip he had heard and you catching him on the neighborhood gossip. “Oh before I forget,  Mimzy wants to know if you wanted to swing by the lounge this weekend. Something about I keep you to myself too much” Alastor laughed, swiping at his mouth. You laughed, that sounded like Mimzy. Always hoping to get a chance at you singing on stage so she could make a few extra bucks. “Well tell ‘er not this weekend, I have plans to host a few of the ladies for book club. Rosie is sure to have some gossip I’ve missed.” 

Alastor quirked a brow “You sure dear? I fear Mimzy will chew me a new one if she don’t get to see ou” You mulled it over “Well book club usually don’t take that long and its during tea time so I guess I don’t mind gracing the lounge with my presence” you giggled, getting up and taking your empty dishes to the sink. Alastor followed you and quickly swatted your hands as you reached to turn the sink on. 

“Now now my dear, you spent all evening cooking the least I can do is wash the dishes. The chef shouldn’t cook and clean” he nudged you away from the sink as you pouted.

It never ceased to amazed you that Alastor took on household chores. Most husbands had their wives cook and clean, but not your Alastor.

He didn’t like you to tire out from maintaining the home all day.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek in thanks and told him you’ll be upstairs getting ready for bed.

You had just finished rolling your hair when Alastor came up to your bedroom. You sighed as you sunk into the cool cotton sheets, finally relaxing for the day. You didn’t realized you had quickly fell asleep until feeling Alastor slide into bed beside you, arm pulling you to tuck you into his side and rest your head on his chest.

You happily cuddled into him, breathing in his scent as the sound of his heartbeat lulled you back to sleep.

A yawn passed your lips as began to fall asleep

”Goodnight” 

”Sleep tight dear”

”Don’t let the bedbugs bite”

”haha see you in the morning light love” he whispered pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sighed, chest heaving in deep breaths.

Alastor smiled at your sleeping face; how lucky was he to have a sweet wife who worked so hard while he was gone. His eyes grew heavy as he listened to your soft snores.

What bliss. He wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOTE: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh why and how did my mind conjure this when I have other things to write eeeeeeehhhh!!!!!!!

Anyway….this is gonna be ANOTHER short story hehehe. Since I wrote it on a whim it might take some time for me to post the next part but I hope y’all enjoy it nevertheless!

Remember to comment on the pinned post as I have a hard time finding everyone to tag since y’all are scattered on different posts!

if i missed anyone my bad!!!!

@nightshadelm @th3-st4r-gur1 @amurtan @lunaramune @southern-bayou-beau @monstersealclubber @certifiedcrybabyyy @karolinda007-blog @theveiledlibrarian @simphornies @yourdoorisunlocked @nettaw @purplecatsandhearts @catherine1206 @jellibean2018 @thewinchestah @wonderlandangelsposts @alishii @readergirlstuff @whydohumansss @missgurlsstuff @yuzurixx @darkovergrownforestnymph @dasimp777 @markster666 @alastorsgirl48 @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @preciousbabypeter @alastwhore666 @strawberrypimp666 @stawberrypimpsimp @queenariesofnarnia @peachedtvs @peachedtv @tpks @siiv3r @hazelfoureyes @okay-babe @aconfusedworld @chewbrry @altruisticalastor @yunimimii @dievia3 @alastorsdear @alastorsdarlingdoe @t0byisher3 @dennsfz @twismare @nanami1chu @yoongibabs @menthatilove @smoky000

[galaxyshine24-7]

The Silver Bullet🥂

Chapter 8 Strawberries and Cream🍓

TW: Violence, Possessive Relationships

After the overblot, Heartslaybul had to do a lot of apologizing to the public about the event. Lots of money was donated to charities around the district and the gang even offered to hold a banquet to raise funds for the community. The gang had a party where Riddle prepared everything and took it as a chance to apologize for his misdeeds. The closeness they had for each other surprised Yuu knowing how cruel gangs could be to their own, but Heartslaybul seemed to accept Riddle back after all the effort he had shown to change. 

Yuu sits by the bar once again all bandaged up and healing from their wounds watching the gang mingle and enjoy their time at the party. Riddle pours tea for his fellow members as Trey stands next to him, proud. Hearing from Ace it seems Trey had his own apologizing to do when it came to not speaking up about Riddle’s behavior to Riddle himself pitying the gang leader for his past hardships. Since that day, Yuu can’t stop thinking about their dream with the young Riddle. Yuu tried to bring it up to the leader himself, but he seemed unaware of what Yuu was talking about. Not to mention the strange black crystal they found in their pocket after the incident, said crystal is now safely at home until Yuu could figure out what to do with it. They go back to enjoying the party taking a sip of the signature drink of the evening strawberries and cream. It’s as much of a happy ending as it good be. 

“Ew what is this!” 

Well almost good. Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Trey, and Cater surrounded the snack table standing by the batch of tarts the leader made. Ace’s face convulses in disgust having to spit out a piece of said tart. 

“It’s so satly.” Ace gags. 

Trey takes a small bit out of his tart cringing at the taste. 

“Riddle what did you put in this?” 

“I put in oyster sauce like you said.” Riddle tilts his head. 

“Riddle dude are you serious?” Cater laughs taking a picture of the moment. 

“I think Trey was joking when he said that Riddle.” Deuce also tried the tart doing his best to swallow it down. 

“I was in fact joking.” Trey starts to laugh as everyone joins him. 

Yuu smiles from the side taking a sip of their drink glade the gang leader seems to have relaxed and let go of his strict mindset, at least most of it. 

The party ended on a good note as Deuce was nice enough to take Yuu home on his blast cycle. Once he was gone Yuu let out a deep sigh heading to their apartment above the bar. As they reach the door a sound alerts them from inside a familiar sound of a radio being played. Yuu opens the door to be greeted by the roar of a fire place as Divus Crewel sits on the armchair beside it. He seems right at home legs crossed with a book in his hand. 

“Getting home rather late pup.” He sets the book down on a side table.

Yuu closes and locks the door behind them, as Grim greets them with a song of meows. 

“Hello Crewel.” Yuu sighs putting their jacket on the coat rack before picking up Grim. 

“Hm formal today are we?” He raises a brow. 

“Well, I’m surprised to see you in my home is all.” Yuu takes a seat on the couch across from him. 

“Does a guardian need a reason to check on his pup? Besides we taught you to never be surprised.” 

Grim jumps off Yuu’s lap to finish his left over food watching Crewel in the corner of his eye. 

“I was taught it was polite to at least send a heads up before entering someone’s home.” Yuu crosses their arms. 

“You’ve gotten cheeky since I’ve been away.” He smirks taking a smoke out of his cigarette. “Let’s cut to the chase puppy, I know you’ve realized the overblot issue we are facing right now, and you getting involved with Heartslaybul was a very foolish decision.” He stares right through Yuu. “The others are thinking we should bring you back home if this newfound freedom is too much for you.” 

“I’m fine I handled it.” Yuu starts. 

Crewel gets up quickly lifting Yuu off the couch by their arm making the bartender wince. 

“Your injuries say otherwise.” 

Yuu pulls their arm out of his hand. 

“You know you shouldn’t get too involved.” He lowers his voice. 

“I wasn’t trying too.” Yuu huffs. 

“You where certainly trying when you nursed that red haired mutt weren’t you?” His voice drips with sarcasm. 

“What was I supposed to do let him die?!” Yuu raises their voice. 

“Your supposed to be smart, and have the upper hand. To much affection will cause others to use it as a weakness.” Crewel flicks them on the forehead.      

Yuu looks up at him rubbing the affected area. 

“If you continue to go this route your heart will be beaten and scattered on these streets.” 

Yuu looks down at the floor Grim comes by to rub against their leg as a moment of silence passes through the apartment before Crewel sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.        

“We just want you to be safe.” He takes out a small black box from his pocket. “Here we thought you needed more protection.” 

“But I already have the guns and the bar is full of traps-” Yuu opens the box to see a simple black ribbon. “Uh what’s this?” 

“It’s a ribbon.” He takes out the simple black ribbon putting it around Yuu’s neck. 

“We have been working on infusing clothing with magic. This will let us know when your in danger and it will protect you.” He finishes making sure Yuu is comfortable. 

“It feels more like a collar.” Yuu mumbles already pulling on the ribbon. 

“It’s just to make sure your safe.” Crewel places their hands on Yuu’s shoulder’s. 

Yuu gives Crewel a small nod. 

“There that’s a good pup.” He gently pats Yuu’s head letting a silence fall over the apartment once more. 

Across town, flashing lights beam down on the arena as blood and teeth litter the floor. Leona Kingschalor punches his opponent across the jaw sending him flying out of the ring. The ground roars his name as he stares at the glittering lights around him. The referee comes over to lift his hand letting the crowd know who the true winner of the match is. Leona doesn’t stay long in the ring after receiving his trophy. He hops over the rope waiting for Ruggie Bucchi to hand him a towel. Leona grabs it wiping the sweat from his face. Once they get backstage Leona finally speaks. 

“So any news?”   

“Everyone is still in an uproar about Riddle’s overblot but the Heartslaybul guys threw a party today,” Ruggie answers. “Very carefree if you ask me.” He yawns. 

“Doesn’t matter once we accomplish what we need to do things will finally be in its rightful place.” Leona smirks as they reach his dressing room. “So they better be prepared.” He closes the door behind him and Ruggie as the crowd cheers in the background. 

“Long live the King! Long live the King!” 

[euphoricfilter]

Jungkook and "I can't stop thinking about you." with the tiniest bit of angst with a fluffy ending. Thank you!!

rose tinted glasses:

pairing: idol! jungkook x f. reader

genre: fluff || angst || friends to lovers

summary: jungkook’s a patient man, and he’ll wait as long as you need to find him again.

word count: 1.1k

tags/ warnings: arguably mild angst, bad friends, maybe best bf kook, intended lowercase

notes: drabble game is closed <3 just a quick drabble that i will not overthink the quality of. it's an easy read one may argue.

drabble masterlist || my main masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

if you’d been the one looking at jungkook through rose tinted glass this whole time, then you wonder how the world views him.

personified perfection, the epitome of what a star should be. because in the world’s eyes, he lacked flaws.

there’s some sort of hidden rule the universe sets, that any input from family should mean something; it should mean everything. blood relations should always be held above everything else in life. they’re your family, of course they want what’s best for you.

it leaves you to wonder when the opinions of close friends had been held to the same standard. how you’d let yourself be swept up in their views of jungkook.

an acclaimed awful relationship, toxic, you should escape while you still can. crawl out of jungkook’s claws and save yourself before it’s too late.

you wonder when advice had become clear jealousy, lies they’d feed you over and over again until you’d been second guessing yourself. second guessing jungkook, when he’d truly tried his best to make your relationship work with so many outside factors interfering.

cameras acting as beady little eyes, scrutinizing him for things only human. digging into private affairs and overstepping inhumane boundaries.

jungkook was far from perfect, you knew that, they knew that— just not in the way they’d told you.

there had been nothing inherently wrong with what you had with jungkook. sure, you came from two completely different worlds, your job a lot less flashy, and arguably less successful than your (ex)boyfriend, but jungkook didn’t care.

because you liked him for him and that was really all he could ask you for. not when you sacrificed so much just to be with him.

nda forms, no public dates, weeks where he’d be abroad, too busy to call but too lonely not to leave you a heartfelt text about how much he missed you.

jungkook wasn’t selfish. you knew that. you’d always known that.

he hadn’t caged you. hadn’t locked the doors and fed the key to a beast where you couldn’t leave. fame hadn’t turned him into a monster— still very much human with human emotions and desires.

it’s a shame you’d let the pressure of those who were supposed to care about you ruin something so special.

the universe has funny ways of telling us things. just like how, if you and jungkook weren’t meant to be together, why was he all you saw. because your life would never be void of jungkook no matter how hard you tried to avoid him.

he was at a strange point in his career, every corner you turned, there he was. billboards, advertisements, his songs playing on the radio as you shop, coffee accompanied by the sweet melody of his voice. riding a steady wave of success with no clear end in sight.

you hadn’t called him for weeks, and he’d stopped leaving you messages on voicemail. perhaps he stopped caring. you wouldn’t blame him, could never blame him— probably swept up with a mountain of work, probably exhausted.

it takes you a month to realize that your misery was because of him. you’d been the one to end things, pressure of everyone finally getting to you. really you’d do anything to make the calls stop, the mean jabs over dinner or passive aggressive texts from friends.

lie after lie rotting your mind until you couldn’t take it anymore and you ran away from your problems.

maybe it was the silence of the evening. the way your friends had distanced themselves once you’d told them you’d stopped talking to jungkook; he was out of your life like they’d suggested. bitter betrayal squeezing your heart when you realize that isn’t what they wanted, because you were no use to them anymore if you had nothing to do with jungkook.

you’d been friends before lovers, their assumption being you’d just go back to being friends.

maybe it was the sticky solitude that had you roaming the streets gone midnight. in search of comfort, the only person you knew still had your back— who will always have your back no matter how big of a bitch you are.

you tug the sleeves of your hoodie further over your hands, tips of your fingers numb as you dial his apartment number.

you know he’s awake, hope slowly fizzling out the longer the door rings.

he doesn’t say anything, simply opening the door to the building. elevator taking an eternity to get to the lobby, even longer in taking you to the right floor.

jungkook’s stood at his door when you step out into the hallway, hair a little frizzy in the way it gets after he’s showered.

“hey” he says, and you stay rooted in your spot.

“i can’t stop thinking about you” you blurt, his figure nothing more than a blur as tears glaze your eyes.

“i can’t stop thinking about you either, my love”

“i’m so sorry” you shake your head as jungkook steps out of his apartment.

“don’t apologize, it must have been hard for you” he hums, tucking your hair behind your ear as you wipe your cheeks with the backs of your hands.

“don’t do this” you hiccup.

“don’t do what?” he smiles, hands falling onto your hips, gentle as he tugs you closer to his body.

“you’re too nice, you can’t be like this after what happened”

“nothing happened” jungkook shakes his head, taking a step backwards, pulling you along with him until you’re both in the warm of his apartment.

“i said some really mean things”

“that you didn’t mean”

your shoulders deflate, muscles warming under his hands like taffy.

“i know what was happening with your friends, your parents weren’t much help either. i’m not blaming you for something that was out of both our control”

“i shouldn’t have listened to them” you kick your shoes off.

“no, you shouldn’t have. but it’s not something we can change now”

bam peeks over the back of the couch, clumsy as he scuttles over to the two of you, “and what about us?”

“what about us?” jungkook kneels down, always one to spoil his dog with kisses, “why can’t we just go back to the way we were?”

you blink down at jungkook, “i’d really like that”

“i love you” he grins, “if you ever run away again, i’ll always wait for you at home. i’ll always be waiting”

“i won’t run again” you tell him, you’d made that mistake once, “i love you too much to do that again”

“i just put fresh sheets on the bed, if you wanna stay over?”

it’s strange, how even after a month apart, words that you never meant shouted in a fit of rage, and the distance of a city apart— jungkook will always feel like home.

the world viewed jungkook as perfect. and he wasn’t. not in the way everyone else saw him.

and even if jungkook were to be the beast, a villain of your love story, nothing could ever stop you from wandering back home into his arms. even if it meant the world was against you.

[lainsshop]

Secreto De Amor ౨ৎ

Pairing: Human ! Alastor x Male ! Reader

Tags: angst(?), forbidden love, complicated relationship(?), fluff(?), out of character(?), n probably more..

Song: Secreto de Amor by Joan Sebastian.

A/N: real literature is back!! kidding but it’s my first time doing male reader- as always any feedback is appreciated, thank you!

“If I could, I will change your name.”

The first thing Alastor heard in his twisted lil’ mind of his when he woke up in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking.

Ever since he met you, his life was more riskier than before, sure, his killer activity is already risky but falling in love with you, a man, was even riskier.

What would people think-? A radio host liking a man? In the 20s, goodness!

Alastor never felt so much before, this is the first time in years that he felt so.. he couldn’t quite describe the feeling. A movement brought him back to reality and he went stiff as he felt someone next to him. Was he hallucinating? Was he still dreaming? Was he lucid dreaming-?

“I’m going to change your name, to keep the secret..” He felt someone whispering to him, that someone being you. He blinked a few times and finally saw you next him as you played with one of his curls. “Reader-” You cut him up short with a small kiss on his lips-

He finally woke up, panting slightly, trying to catch his breath processing what just happened. He slowly brought one of his hands to touch his lips. He was thinking about you more he should. He turn to look at the time. Shit- his radio show.

౨ৎ

All dressed up, walking through the broadcasting studio halls, greeting everyone with his signature smile. As he opened the door to his studio, he saw you, he almost lost his composure but quickly recovered. “Ah, my favorite radio host companion, how are you in this fine morning?” He spoke in his usual amuse tone.

You gave him a smile of your own and greeted him back. “Fine as always, dear, am I your companion now?” You teased a bit as you tilted your head, leaning back on your chair. Alastor just chuckled at as he sat on his own chair. “You very much know, reader, that we can’t be like that in public.”

You let out a small laugh at that. “I know but I can’t help and be all.. you know..” You slowly said, bopping his nose.

He looked at you for a few seconds, he didn’t know if he was admiring you and how good you look today or-

He cleared his throat and grin as he started to organize for the broadcast. “You’re such a sap, reader, I’ve always wondered why are you like this with me.” As he was sorting papers out and trying to clean his part of the desk, he was a bit caught off guard when you leaned closer to him. Both of you locking eye contact- “Because I love you and..” You paused. “And you love me.” You said that so confidently, he wanted to argued back, to tell you lies, to make an excuse, to say something, anything really but he just looked at you with those eyes of his.

You sighed quietly and leaned back in your chair. “But of course, we owe respect to.. everyone.” You sounded disappointed and he hated that. He hated how much the world views people like both of you and even if it wasn’t much of a thing, it was still viewed as wrong.

He wanted to say something but decided not to and you both prepared to broadcast.

౨ৎ

Another successful broadcast and now Alastor was walking you home since he insisted very much and who you were to deny such nice thing.

“I dreamed about you.” You turn to look at him as he spoke. “Really now?” You smiled at that. “I didn’t know such people like you dreamed about lovely things.” He chuckled at your teasing comment. “Oh, believe me, this is the first time I’ve done so, it was quite.. interesting,”

You hum. “You know, it’s interesting how you said the same thing about changing my name in it.” Now that caught your attention really bad and you let out a laugh. “Did you thought about it so hard that it made it into your twisted mind?” “No, it was just a very ridiculous statement, reader.” “Uh-huh, sure, darling.”

A beat of silence and- “I’m serious though, if I could-“ “We’ve been through this, re-“ You cut him off short when you leaned closer to his ear and whispered to him. “I’ll change your name to Glory cause you deserve it.”

Now that, that he didn’t expect, he had a few moments were he was flustered by your words and this was one of them. “I- could you quit being such a fool for a second?” He said after proceeding what you’ve said and you were just laughing at his reaction.

“I think we should kiss~” “Quit it.” “Oh, cmon, just a small one?” He wanted to be annoyed at the moment but he couldn’t resist you plus you were both now moon kissed by the moonlight all alone. And you did. Even if it was small it felt good for Alastor, oh, how he wish to be like this every single day without people judging and such.

I love you like no other.

Locking eye contact, admiring each other. “And I still want to change your name.. but I don’t change the story,” You said, intertwining your hands with his. “Whatever you’re called, for me, you are glory.” His eyes softened at those words of yours.

“Will you ever stop being such a romantic, my dear?” He teased a bit. You put a hand on your chest. “Can’t a man express his love?” You said with an exaggerating dramatic tone. You both started to laugh and continued with your destination.

౨ৎ

Both of you were invited to a party, a fancy one at that but before that you and him had an argument. Apparently, someone from the job saw y’all that same night and asked questions about it.

“In front of people, don’t look at me, don’t call me, don’t do anything!” He said a bit annoyed as you just looked at him trying not to argue back. “Even if you love me, reader.. do not do any nonsense in public, it could ruin my rep- our reputation!” Of course you knew that, you knew better cause you’ve been through this multiple times.

Partner after partner after another trying to hide a relationship with you. A secret that no one knew. It was exhausting, trying to hide away and couldn’t express themselves, you knew that all too well.

And now you were sitting on a bench far away from the party, you couldn’t face the people after that argument with him.

“What a punishment..” You muttered out quietly. In front of all of those people, you were just viewed as a friend and nothing more. Always known as Alastor’s radio host companion. And it sucked knowing that people will never know that you were his lover-

“What a pain.” You cursed yourself, you didn’t know if to feel guilt or pain from what happened. It felt like your fault, almost ruining your lovers reputation, such a fool.

“A pain indeed, dearest.” Your soul almost jumped out of your body went you heard that and you turned around to see him.

“What the fu-“ “Ah, ah.. language.” He said putting a finger on your lips. You just looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, you were about to speak when suddenly Alastor grabbed you chin and tilted it so you could see each others eyes.

“I’m a grown man, Al.” “Well, it doesn’t suit you.” You wanted to be annoyed at him but he always had an effect on you.. the way he looked at you which such care-

“Don’t you have a party to be at? And leave me in the shadows like you always d-“ He cut you off by kissing you. You were shocked. It wasn’t just the normal kisses like you always do.. it had such more meaning, such deepness, such love. You were starting to get dizzy but that doesn’t matter, nothing matter, no one else mattered.

“I love you, reader.” The first hung he said before pulling back and pushing a few strands of your hair away. “And you’re more than just a secret love..” You didn’t knew what to say or do.

You just froze there like if time stopped. “I will let you change my name, I will let you kiss me and show your love towards me like any other day in front of everyone without care,”

You were left breathless, you were trying to process what the fuck was happening. “But that will wait for another time, darling.” He grabbed your hands and kissed the back of them.

You kissed him. That was the only way for you to show any response of his words until an I love you too left out of your mouth.

© LAINSSHOP 2024

[sinner-sunflower]

Lucifer AU idea- Rabbit Hole

Y'all know that Rabbit Hole by Miku song with the animation trend? Imagine Luci doing that dance ugh

---------------------------

The song is Angel Dust's first official music video that he wrote after breaking free of Valentino's deal.

Ozzie had offered him a job to Club Ozzie's first Pride ring branch and Angel never felt happier.

He got into music as an outlet for his emotions, releasing 'Addict' and 'Poison' to the public via Al's radio show. (He managed to convince Alastor to do it cos it would make his ratings skyrocket past Vox and Alastor loves nothing more than kicking Vox when he's already down)

After the success of his first 2 songs, Angel decided that maybe the 3rd one should have a music video.

With the help of Ozzie as his producer, the project is a go.

Writing the song was the easy part. Angel wanted it to sound fun but also resonate with his past experiences (just read the translation of the lyrics! The one angel wrote is from this Cover!)

One day, he and Ozzie were brainstorming at the Sin's office at the Pride branch.

Ozzie: Angel, this is your first music video! It must be grand! Showstopping! Jaw-dropping! Never before seen! Revolutionary!

Angel: But how do I do that, big dick boss man? I don't think even being greatest porn star Hell has ever seen will wow people now. I've done lots of things and I can't think of anything else.

Ozzie: Hmmm

Just then, Lucifer enters the office.

Lucifer: Ozzie! Just who I'm looking for. I need you to do some inspection regarding your crystals. I just talked to Belphagor and she said that her team just confiscated a whole ton in some imp warehouse in Greed. I know I don't need to meddle but I wouldn't be worried if it was anywhere else. Who knows what Mammon is doing with those and- oh! Angel!

Angel: Heya, Short king.

Lucifer: What are you doing here?

Angel: I work here, baby~

Lucifer: Oh! I knew that haha. And what's this?

The King of Hell gestures to the board they were using for notes.

Angel: Don't tell anyone, but I'm gonna be releasin a new song and it's gonna have a music video!

Lucifer: Really?! That's great! It hasn't been that long too since Poison, wasn't it?

Angel: Yeah, but we wanna catch these motherfuckers off guard

Ozzie: That's why we're brainstorming how we can wow these desensitised demons. I still think we can do-

Lucifer: Why don't I do it?

Angel and Ozzie blink in surprise at the King's words.

Angel: Do what?

Lucifer: Act! In your music video! You know, instead of you, I'll be the uhhh 'rabbit girl'? Not that- you're uh- not enough I just mean that uhm- I think the last thing they'd expect is the King of Hell a sinner's music video.

Angel: Babe, you do know this would be a not safe for work type thing, right?

Lucifer: Yeah? I know? I know you better than you might think, you know.

Ozzie: You sure? Cos Charlie might see this.

Angel: Yeah. I know I don't wanna see my dad basically naked dancing to music.

Lucifer: You can go through it with her if it makes you feel any better. But I'm up for anything.

The two others in the room just stare at him with their mouths wide open.

Lucifer: But if you don't want I...

Angel: Hell no! We are doing this!

Ozzie: Hell won't know what hit em.

---------------------------

Charlie gave it a green light cos she's so excited about her dad finally socializing and breaking out of his cocoon to really realize what everything is about. Angel wants to record a reaction of the hotel for research purposes.

A few weeks later, the video is done and it's dropped out of nowhere.

Ozzie invited the Sins to the hotel for an exclusive live viewing (he and Angel ofc knew what time it would be released and set the whole thing up)

Everyone sat in the lobby in front of a giant projector (No, Alastor, you can't watch a video on the radio!), and as the clock struck at 9:13 AM on a random Tuesday, the video played.

Let's just say that it certainly did leave mouth agaped and caused mass panic.

---------------------------

Ozzie anonymously sent a copy to Heaven and somewhere in a bright glowing building, 6 archangels lay unconscious at the ground due to shock,

---------------------------

If you guys want me to write some dialogue for that first reaction in the hotel, drop the comment!

[lunarmango]

Playing Back on Radio

Hello hello!

I have had some cool headcanons for Alastor's and his radio! (The one that Vaggie uses to bash Lute's head in, yeah, that one.) I'm not usually that good at putting together a script for drawing comics or anything, though I did attempt it in one of my earlier posts.

This fic will be x Reader but... think of this like a Pilot episode to see if I should continue it!

No warnings for now folks!

Enjoy the ride <3

Word count: 1k

“My name? My name is...” 

Sat down on a plush red velvet sofa next to the fireplace in his room, his ruby eyes flash to the Mahogany Radio sat on his desk, the sunlight reflecting on the glossy surface of it. His brows furrow in thought. That voice... Why was it playing?  

Who was it playing?  

What was their name? 

Where did he know them from? 

Did he know them? 

He sighs, shutting the book he was reading and swiftly standing up to place it next to the radio on his desk. Their voice... it was sweet, in a way almost soothing. He looks over the radio, running his claws on the dial to turn it up, careful not to scratch the finish on it. After all, he doubted any other radios like his existed, even in the fantastical world that is hell. 

“Alastor was it?” 

He sighs, hands on either side of the radio on the mahogany desk, specifically customised to match the radio. Where... He shakes his head.  

Probably nobody important.

He turns on his heels, ready to face the day, his striped wine-red tailcoat dramatically flourishing with his twirl, confident, ready and better than- 

. . .

“I’ve never met anyone like you-

You’re different” 

He looks over his shoulder, his glare shooting daggers at the radio as he scoffs to himself.  

What in the world were they talking about- he always kept a good public image, always kept his work... tidy. No one knew he was-

“I- in a good way that is!” 

Oh, right, how silly to think he might’ve slipped up. He was always far too thorough with his killings. 

Static fills the room as the speech that filled the room came to a stop. Alastor never recalled this person or this memory. What was some random acquaintance doing in his radio? He rolled his eyes and faced back to the door, walking out to continue his day and help at the hotel.  

They’re nobody important. Yeah. Nobody important.

His thoughts wandered. His radio manifested when he developed his powers to an extent. It always played fond memories of his past, it was like a warm hug. Just without the touching, how nice.  

Until now. Not that he considered the memory he heard to be unpleasant. No, no. It just wasn’t as... personal as the rest. Why would some random person interest him of all people after all? It usually emitted memories of his mother, or his favorite songs or radio broadcasts he made. These playthroughs from his little radio were always calming, and one of his only forms of comfort. His best friend, in a way.

Alastor frowns to himself, walking outside to clear his head and think things over, so with a twirl of his cane, and a smug grin to the hotel guests supported by a small nod, he was off.

A radio, an inanimate object, his best friend.

How sad. Is this the cause of loneliness, or just lack of interest in social norms? Hell if I know.

He wondered as he walked through the entrance, internally rolling his eyes at the thought. 

I was thinking of something else. A person... a... Oh yes! 

Alastor walks through the streets with a more tense smile. If people were just going to start randomly intruding in his memories, it was going to be an issue. This could really take a toll on his mental state, more than already. GOD he hates admitting that though. 

He is fine. 

With his radio. 

. . .

The day passes seamlessly nonetheless, running errands for Charlie, as physically taxing as they may be, killing a sinner or two on the way, there’s no way she’d find out, its just letting off a little steam.  

Nothing new. They’ll respawn. They earned damnation and I'll be more than happy to offer their fair share.

Other than that, the day was a little dull, but hey, normal is good. It's safe. It's predictable.

Walking with a huff, he fumbles with the lock of his door, walking inside and closing the door behind him. That injury was taxing. Why was he so tired? But he’s fine, he’s the Radio Demon, one of the most powerful overlords! Always fine, always ready to take on anything- 

“You’re back! I’d recognize that dazzling smile from a mile away!” 

Dazzling smile? Him? His wide grin, his mask, the very thing he works so hard to keep together daily, working overtime as of recent, relaxes as he listens. What convenient timing, he was definitely in need of a pick me up after today.

He walks over to the cabinet to the right of his desk, a small selection of whiskey on the middle glass shelf in lovely crystal bottles that glisten ever so slightly with the dim lighting of his room as he sets a glass on the table, pouring enough for him to warm up, to settle.  

“These flowers? Oh they’re Dhalias! We do have some in red in the back, I’ll return in a moment!” 

It was you?

You.

YOU!

Still stood in front of the shelf, Alastor suddenly rushes to the radio, almost hoping he could remember your face again, crouching so his head is to the level of the radio, staring it down, as if he could see you like this. Your hair... was it long? Short? What eyes... what image to pair with that sweet personality of yours? 

Your name. 

Your name? What was your name? 

Alastor paces around the carpet in the middle of his room, waiting for answers from his radio. As if it could read his mind or something. 

“They make your features stand out...” 

He cringed. Not at you, not at your voice, but the way it made his stomach flutter.

Ugh.

What ridiculous notions. He could never entertain it, he wouldn’t allow himself. He has never had any need for affection, ever, even if it was just verbal.

Was it his wound..? No, that couldn’t affect him mentally.

The liquor..? He didn’t have that much!

He sighs, gathering his thoughts and taking another sip of his whiskey to help make sense of things.

Who are you?

[ficthots]

August

A/N: Okay, I know it took me forever to get this published again, but here it is! This is set to the theme of August by Taylor Swift, obviously. As always let me know what you think and enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only

Word Count: 7.4k+

Salt air and the rust on your door

I never needed anything more

Whispers of “Are you sure?”

“Never have I ever before”

Summer is a magical time of the year. If you don’t mind sweltering temperatures, humidity so dense that you can feel the air around you, and every place you visit being over packed to the point where you literally can’t move without touching someone's sticky body. Despite those lows, the triumph of what summer truly stands for is where it makes it a winner over all the other seasons.

Freedom. 

No longer being tied to class schedules, extra curricular activities, stressing over college applications. Nope, not this year. This was the year that you were putting that all behind you and stepping into the future. Your future. 

College was on the horizon, growing larger the closer it appeared. All the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears now long gone as the crisp hopefulness of the next chapter popped into your line of vision. That didn’t mean you weren’t going to enjoy what your little hometown had to offer during your last year as a permanent resident here.

It was why Danny’s piece of shit truck was idling in the street, blocking your driveway, waiting for you to come bounding down the stairs to spend the day at one of your favorite places in the world. His entire face lit up when you entered his line of sight, throwing open the rusted passenger door and hearing the creek of it echo into the neighborhood as it moved.

Not even uttering a hello, you grabbed the loose auxiliary cord that hung from the refurbished radio and connected your phone to it. As Taylor Swift filled the speakers, he rolled his eyes, looking over his shoulder to pull away from the curb and begin the drive. 

“You bring the cooler?” You asked over the pounding of the music, turning around and seeing it crammed behind the seats. “Mhm. There should be a raspberry iced tea Arizona in there.” Your eyes lit up with excitement at the discovery, cracking it open, and leaning towards the open window.

Your hair whipped around in a complete frenzy as Danny got up to full speed, seeing the content smile gracing your lips, eyeing the view as it whizzed by. He laughed at the view of you trying to tame your locks, hand landing on your thigh subconsciously as he continued the drive. 

You two belted along to the songs that randomly played through your combined playlist, Danny’s fingers tapping on the bare skin of your thigh to the beat of whatever was playing. There was nothing better than spending your days like this together. It was always the highlight of your vacations. 

When you two could disappear from everyone else and just bask in one another's company. The splash of the water cascading onto the secluded shore had your mind humming in peace. Sun soaking on a picnic blanket and towel, a small portable radio by your head playing music into the area around you, a backpack stuffed to the brim with food laid next to you. 

Danny wading out of the water, small trunks clung to his thighs, long curls pushed back away from his face and dripping down his bare back had you smiling as he approached you. He snatched his towel from under your head that you had been utilizing as a pillow, wrapping it around his body. 

This was an area that you two had discovered once by sheer accident, but now was your own spot that no one else had seemed to find quite yet. A small piece of the lake that was undisturbed by any other bodies. Something that seemed to have been crafted just for the enjoyment of you two. 

Not even your group knew of this place. Whenever you all would come together, it was to a different place, much more visible to the public then where you currently resided. No, this was just for you two. It wasn’t something you had discussed either. Keeping this a little secret between you both. It just…was.

Danny’s soaked body dripped onto yours as he stood over you, a true giant from the angle you were laying at. He had grabbed his own beverage of choice for the day, guzzling it down in one go before collapsing on the blanket next to you, letting the sun conveniently dry him. 

Wiggling closer to him, his skin was cold to the touch as you rolled over, leaning on one elbow to peer at him. “You’re very pretty.” Was all you offered as you stared him down without his knowledge, eyes being shut as he relaxed. His body shook with laughter as you poked his cheek, then his nose. 

“Think that’s what I’m supposed to say to you.” He mumbled out, eyes remaining shut as he lifted an arm, letting you cuddle into his side. You scoffed at his response, laying your head on his bicep, staring up at the cloudless sky. “No.” 

That was how you two remained for the rest of the afternoon. Laying soundless as you drifted in and out of naps, occasionally treading into the water before coming back out and occupying your time in a different way. 

Munching on a sandwich he had made for this afternoon, you were engrossed in your book, sunglasses perched atop your damp head. You had been reading out loud for Danny to listen to the tale despite not having heard the first seventy percent of the story, but he didn’t mind. His head rested on your lap, listening intently to your enthusiastic tones and the changing voices as different characters spoke. 

Handing the sandwich down to him, eyes never parting the book, not halting your reading, he took it from your hands and polished it off for you, having finished his long ago. His phone went off in the backpack that had been continuously moved around the blanket space as you two moved around throughout the day. 

Stopping where you were in the chapter, you handed it over to him to see that it was his alarm going off, signaling that the day had come to an end and it was time to return home. Silently, you both stood and began packing up all your belongings.

Mindless chatter flew between you both as you rolled the towels after he shook them out to remove any lingering sand and pebbles. “Okay, tell me again why he’s in jail.” You had the backpack handle in your mouth, stuffing the towels in there, but spit it out as you spoke. 

“Because he was falsely accused of murdering the girl from his high school.” His brow furrowed at your words, folding the blanket up. “How do you know he was falsely accused?” You stood, bag slung over one shoulder as you waited for him to finish his task. “In chapter four it says that he was out of town with his grandfather.” 

He stood back up, slinging his arm over your shoulder as you walked back to the truck. “Okay, so why doesn’t the grandfather go and bail him out? Tell the police that he was on a trip with the guy.” You shook your head, fingers lacing with his as they dangled over your shoulder. “Because the grandfather died the following week.”

Danny’s bottom lip pushed out as he nodded his head, opening the truck door for you as you climbed in. The window was rolled down as he shut the door, leaning through the opening to you. “Yeah, you need to tell me how that ends cause it sounds fucked up.” You laughed, nodding at him as he tapped the tip of your nose before walking to his side of the car. 

The entire drive home, you sat in the middle seat, pressed into his side. His hand rested on your leg, tapping to the beat of more songs, a permanent smirk plastered to his lips. These were the days you savored. Craved. 

Where it could just be you two. No pressure, so stress, no nothing. Just you two. That was how you liked it to be. If it could remain that way for the rest of time you would snatch that up in an instant. And you knew Danny would, too. 

When he pulled back up to your house, your achy limbs from a day of swimming cried as you trekked up the driveway to your house. Danny called out to you from the open window as you reached the front door, drawing your attention back to him instead of the shower and bed that were screaming your name. “Call me tomorrow. Love you!”

Your hand shielded your eyes from the setting sun, waving at him as he began driving off, calling out an ‘I love you’ back as he left. You two tried to make that trip happen at least once every other week. If it couldn’t be a lake visit, it was something else. Movie night at someone's house, arcade and ice cream, the only all night diner in the county. It didn’t matter as long as it happened. 

No one else knew of these little escapades you two had. You just simply didn’t bring it up and no one ever asked. It wasn’t lying because there were no suspicions of you two breaking off from the group and going and doing your own thing. If they ever caught wind of it, they never said anything. 

It wasn’t anything more than just spending quality time in the company of a close friend. No romantic interest really. Was Danny attractive? Of course. He was literally one of the most sought after boys in your graduating class, but you wouldn’t see him in that light. To you, he was just Danny. And to Danny, you were just you. 

That’s all it was. 

Did you plan to lose your virginity to him on a random Wednesday night just a few weeks before you left for school? Absolutely not. But if there was someone you were glad it happened with. It was Danny. 

You two had reconvened for a movie night, sprawled out on the couch in your basement, watching a movie that Danny had brought over, but your mind was elsewhere tonight. You had been chatting with one of your friends about moving away for school and when she found out you were a virgin, she was quick to suggest you have that taken care of before going off to school.

It gnawed at you for days following the encounter. Was going off to college a virgin really that big of a deal? According to her and whatever census she had read or taken, yes it was. Danny had noticed you were off tonight, your mind wandering into an abyss he knew you could occasionally get trapped in. 

He nudged you with his foot, pausing the movie after you missed the big gag of the movie. “What’s up with you?” Your eyes snapped up to his, flurried with confusion and questions. Your fingers played with themselves, lip tucked in between your front teeth, but you shook your head. “Nothing, why?”

Rolling his eyes, he sat up and moved closer to you. “Come on. What’s wrong?�� Should you ask him this? Was it your place to even know this information? You knew he was your best friend, but this topic was much more suited for someone like Sam. Battling yourself in your mind, you finally decided to just blurt it out at him.

“Are you a virgin?” His eyes went wide as he blinked once at your question before breaking into hard laughter. You pouted at him as he tried to catch his breath. Slapping him away from you as he rolled closer to you, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, you were annoyed. “Wha-what? What the hell brought that on?” 

Finally catching his breath, he was able to ask you that question. Grumbling under your breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Nothing.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him inching closer to you despite you moving further from him, but to no avail as you were at the corner of the sofa.

“Seriously, what happened? Why do you want to know that?” Your eyes were glued to the paused tv screen, shaking your head as your only response. “I’m teasing you! It was just really out of the blue.” Peeling your eyes back to him, only slightly, he was smiling at you. 

“Why do you want to know?” You huffed a small sigh, eyes falling down to your lap at the frayed blanket that lay over you. “Because I was talking with Sarah and she said that if I go to college as a virgin it’ll totally be a hindrance or whatever.” 

His brows drew in, confusion etched across his face. “That makes no sense.” You groaned, hands flailing as you did. “I know! But what if she’s right? What if I get there and a guy finds out I’ve never had sex and then won’t do anything with me? Then word spreads and I’m a total outcast.” 

Danny rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “That won’t happen. I can guarantee you.” Mumbling, you ignored his words. He obviously wasn’t understanding your issue with this. He had no idea what you were talking about. “Yeah well, you’re not a virgin so you don’t get it.” 

“Yes I am.” 

Your head flashed up, eyes connecting with him at his words. “What?” He nodded with a shrug, acting like it was entirely obvious. “Yeah. There just hasn’t been, I don’t know, a right time or person. Just hasn’t felt right.” He was acting so nonchalant about the entire thing, it was flabbergasting to you. 

“But what about prom? You took Susie and you guys had a hotel after.” He closed his eyes, reliving the memory as he laughed. “She got so plastered at prom that she literally got to the hotel room and passed out on the bed. I ended up sleeping on the couch.” Your brows furrowed, shaking your head, uttering an apology. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

He beamed at you, chuckling. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not an embarrassing thing. It’s literally a construct, nothing more.” His eyes connected with yours and softened. “Bug?” You squeaked out, nerves wracking your body at the sheer idea of what you were about to ask.

Humming in response, he took your hand in his overly large one, calluses from the drum sticks hardening some of the skin. “Would you-would you ever,” you couldn’t even get the question out before he spoke out over you. “The only person I’ve ever thought about going that far with is you.” 

Swallowing thickly, you felt like you were going to choke on your tongue. The stare between you both was so intense that you were scared to do anything but look into the incredibly dark irises that pinned you to the couch. Slowly, Danny moved closer to you, calve held in his hand as he extended your leg. 

Danny knew what you were going to ask him. He wanted to make this as easy as possible and didn’t want you to feel like you had to outright ask him. It was all he had ever thought of. Exchanging this encounter was a big deal and there was no one else he would have rather done it with. 

Both of you were breathless, entirely nude as you laid on your couch, fighting for the shared breath between you both. Before Danny made any further moves despite how far you two had gotten, he was entirely shaking, choking on his own words as he spoke out. “Are-are you su-sure, bug?” 

Nodding enthusiastically, you caught his lips against your own, breath hitching in your throat as Danny entered you for the first time. Eyes squeezing shut, you wanted to savor this moment, searing it into your memory. Feeling nothing but comfort and serenity with him. 

As you two came down from your fast highs, Danny rested his forehead against your own, chasing your lips, over and over. He laid down on top of you, wild curls splayed across your chest. His heavy head laid on your bare skin, listening to the quick beat of your heart. Both giggling out at what had just happened as you enclosed him in your arms. 

It wasn’t what you were expecting to happen, but you were beyond happy it had. The experience was everything you had ever hoped for, with the person you trusted most in the world. Forming a bond that you weren’t entirely sure what to do with. Unsure of what it meant for the future, but it didn’t matter because it wasn’t able to form anymore.

You went to school the next week, taking on a new life as you went to experience what you had heard was supposed to be one of the best, but most stressful times of your life. But you knew that no matter what you did, where you went, that Danny would always be there for you. Danny knew that it was the same for you too. As he and the band took off, he knew that when he came home for breaks it would be the same every time. Both of you waiting patiently for the other to come back. 

Even though it was incredibly selfish on both of your parts. It was okay, because for the time being, you were allowed to be just that. Selfish. 

Your back beneath the sun

Wishin’ I could write my name on it

Will you call when you’re back at school?

I remember thinkin’ I had you

The first two semesters of school nearly annihilated you. No, really. They were beyond rough. After a tough lesson your first semester of why 8am lectures were never a good idea, you knew better going into your second semester. Afternoon and evening lectures were your friend. 

The course load you had on your plate was crushing. That’s why when spring break rolled around, you were more than content to come back home and relax by the pool for a full two weeks. Of course, that plan was foiled by your gang planning their own homecoming for the same time. And they all loved the fact that you had a pool.

It’s why you had music blaring through the outside speakers, the smell of barbecue wafting through the yard, and the sounds of pool splashing filled your ears. This wasn’t a bad way to be spending break. Not at all.

Especially when Danny was practically naked in front of you the entire time. Since he had shown up at your house and enclosed you in a massive embrace the night you had flown in, you two had hardly spent any time apart. 

He had slept at your house that night, squeezing into your full size mattress, not wanting to be apart from you after having slept together the second he stepped into your room. Every day after that, you two were either with the group or you were getting texts from him about secret meetings. 

Nearly every single day of the full two weeks you were home had the group at your house, enjoying the warmer weather and pool. It came with the ground rules of being the owner of the pool. You almost always had to expect people to optimize using it. Today was of course no exception. 

It was a struggle to keep your eyes off the boy as he lifted himself on the edge of the pool, newly tanned skinned from spending nearly every single day outside, glistening from the water droplets clinging to his torso, muscled back contracting as he used his arms. Nearly had your mouth watering until your attention was ripped away, Jake shaking his wet hair out as he plopped himself down on the edge of your seat.

“When do you fly back to school?” You sighed, setting your book on the table next to you. “Tomorrow night. I have class first thing Monday afternoon.” He groaned, leaning back against your tucked legs, back sitting soundly on your shins. “Us too.”

You only hummed in response, eyes instinctively connecting with him from across the way. He had heard your small conversation with his brother, eyes burning in desire. Subconsciously clenching your legs together, knowing that tonight was going to be your last chance to spend with him until god knows when. It had to count. 

Danny only texted you an address and told you to be there around eight. As you traveled to the location he had sent, you were confused as you looked around and saw no surrounding buildings. Yet, when you saw his old truck and a small camp made up, you pulled over quickly. 

Rushing over to him, Danny caught you, instantly connecting you both. Your hands held his jaw, his arms wrapped around your waist, both moaning in utter relief, not even able to spend a full twenty-four hours apart without insane desire burning through you both. 

When you finally pulled away, you took in the sight. Some small lights were at the four corners of the air mattress. Pillows and blankets filled the space, calling you to lay down in its warm embrace. You did exactly that, pulling Danny with you. 

As the sun set and the stars came out and glistened along the sky, you felt the chill rush down your spine. Straddling him, your neck craned back, looking at the moon and its friends decorating the sky. “God, look at that!” You breathed out, entirely forgetting what you two had just finished moments earlier.

His hands still held firm to your hips, not even looking behind you, just directly at you. Enamored with what he saw before him. The moonlight lit up behind you, casting you in a glow that was rare to observe. He felt like the chosen one, being lucky enough to witness this. 

Climbing off of him, you laid next to him, wrapping the sheet around yourself as your head rolled over, seeing his sharp features already looking straight at you. Your face lit up in a wide grin at his locks held up in a loose ponytail. 

“Where do you guys go next?” You finally asked after you two held each other’s gaze, fingers linking together as he pulled you closer towards him, not wanting you to be too far. He sighed, “Nashville. Still working on the album and setting up tour dates.” You hummed, eyes slipping shut as the warmth of his body seeped into your bones. 

The sheet was wrapped around your nude frame loosely, only draped lowly on his waist. The stars danced in the sky, not a cloud to cover them. You could hear various insects chirping in the distance of the field you sat in. Only basking in the moonlight as it soaked you both in its glamorous rays. 

Danny sat up after being in silence for a beat too long. Clearing his throat, he didn’t want to turn and look at you. To see your reaction to what he was about to take the time to ask you. What he had been grappling with since you had left for school months ago. 

“Are you going to call me? When you’re back at school?” You sat up to match him, lips dancing nervously on the bare skin of his back. Wrapping the sheet tighter around yourself, you rested your chin on his shoulder, brushing some of his hair away from the skin, you placed another chaste kiss there. 

Before you spoke, you wanted a second more to enjoy this. Before it was ruined by what your response was going to be to him. Instead, you took the hair tie from his locks and did his hair for him. Fixing it to hold the hair up and out of his gorgeous face that he had hidden from you. Letting his tense muscles come into better view. 

Beautiful.  

He shivered at your touch, eyes closing as he sat waiting for your response despite knowing what it was going to be. “Why can’t we just have this?” It was whisper quiet, only carried by the soft breeze that danced across the grass you were currently laid in. Nodding, he wrapped his arms around you, turning and bringing you back to his embrace. 

Listening to his steady heartbeat beneath your ear, you basked in the warmth his arms offered you. The serene comfort that you could only seem to find with Danny. It wasn’t what you had wanted to say. Not in the least, but it was what you had to say. 

It would be too hard. With him and the boys' music exploding as it was, you with school preoccupying any and all of your time, it wouldn’t work. What could work was knowing that the other would always be there during the breaks. To retreat back to one another and do this over and over would work. 

It was just what you had to do. Danny knew that too despite how much it shredded him to hear it actually said. The band was taking off at lightning speed in a way none of them had anticipated and he knew that there was no way he would be able to juggle both. Not right now. 

But he knew that you would be back in the summer and he would be too and it would pick right back up. That thought brought him comfort to combat the sadness that sat deep in his soul and burrowed. 

Hope. 

Back when we were still changin’ for the better

Wanting was enough

For me, it was enough

To live for the hope of it all

Cancel plans just in case you’d call

And say, “Meet me behind the mall”

So much for summer love and saying “us”

Cause you weren’t mine to lose

You weren’t mine to lose, no

And that was exactly how it continued on. For a few years actually. Up until spring and summer breaks weren’t a thing anymore because college had rapidly come to a close. That was one thing about entering the real world. Those breaks didn’t exist. Which meant that whatever you and Danny had didn’t exist anymore either. 

Knowing that they would be there to see you at those sure times, no question about it. Where he would be waiting for you with a warm embrace and the best time of your life. It all came to a close when you landed your big girl job, Greta Van Fleet became a global sensation, and adult life swept you both up in very different ways.

No time for those silly summer flings that clenched your heart in unexplainable ways whenever you thought back to them. Whenever you thought back to him. That’s why when you got a call from them asking if you could take a bit of a vacation to meet them, you jumped at the chance. Especially when you found out where they wanted you to meet. 

In the middle of their great European trek. To watch them perform for adoring fans, see what they had blossomed into after all this time. No longer the garage band you sat in on to watch their practices nearly every single day. Instead, now globe trotting rockstars. 

Transforming into these grown men, who you honestly would never see as such, was…odd. Seeing the familiar permed ball of frizzy curls always brought a sense of comfort to you, but the on-stage bedazzled jumpsuits and rhinestones had you giggling at his love of performance shouted out to the world. The always long locks of the brothers who could’ve been classified as twins more so than the actual twins, newly adorned facial hair had you rolling your eyes at their attempt to be “men”. Then there was Danny.

No more of the unkempt curls, but instead nourished well formed ringlets and bangs. New found fashion of button ups that were almost entirely unbuttoned and tight pants that left little to the imagination. Built form instead of the strong skinny you were used to. He was utterly breathtaking as you took him in. 

You yourself had changed much as well much to the surprise of the brothers. It wasn’t a one sided transformation, but instead something that happened on all fronts for everyone. A part of growing up. It didn’t stop the yearning that settled deep in your bones whenever your eyes connected with his though.

He knew exactly what you were feeling. It was reciprocated and he was itching to find a way to get you two to sneak off together. Just like old times. Something he thought about far too often, but would adamantly deny if it was ever brought up. When your phone went off at a group dinner after watching a show stopping performance from the brothers, you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach.

Danny had concocted an entire tale to be able to spend the day with you tomorrow. One that you bit back a smile at as he explained to the brothers why he was going to be absent from their group tomorrow and why you were going to also be gone tomorrow evening. It worked perfectly. Not a single question asked. 

You two were sitting at a candlelit table on a balcony overlooking the city, snorting in laughter at the stories you both had missed from everyday life. Your heart ached as you listened to the insane stories of the life he now lived, what you dreamed you could be doing with him. He couldn’t explain the sadness that sat deep in his gut as you chortled through story after story of your workplace and coworkers. 

As giggles died down, setting your now empty wine glass on the table, you let a deep sigh you didn’t know you had been holding escape into the night. His soft eyes held your gaze, smile never diminishing as he watched you battle your thoughts. He knew exactly what you were thinking. 

“Well, Danny, it sounds like you are literally living the dream.” He shrugged, polishing off his drink and leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, it’s not too bad.” You rolled your eyes at his candor. Eyes slightly squinting in his direction, you nearly tripped over your tongue as the words expelled from you. “Still interested in your old fling, then?” 

He had been waiting for you to ask all night. There would never be a time in his life where you weren’t always playing in his thoughts in some way or another. As he had been traveling the world, all he had been thinking about was how you should’ve been by his side for everything. How it didn’t make sense that you weren’t there. That he missed you more than he could put into words. This evening had been the best one he had spent in the last year on the road. 

“Always.” 

Danny took you back to a hotel room that night that he booked with you in tow. Giggling as you stood at the check in counter, he told them he didn’t care what kind of room was available as long as there was a room. The suite was extravagant and more money than you would ever know what to do with just sitting in your bank account, but he didn’t even bat an eye. 

The entire evening you had spent within his grasp. Reliving past memories and experiences you thought would never happen again. Nearly destroying a hotel suite together after having sex on every surface you could find. Desperate to feel his muscles contract as he reached finish after finish. To see his face contort in a way that it only did when pure bliss washed over him. Only when he was experiencing this with you. 

The rustled sheets and blankets were strewn about the room despite the top sheet you two were hidden beneath. Feeling his gentle breathing as he slept soundly underneath you, holding you to him. Not wanting to let you go. Not again.

Despite how wonderful and mind numbing the time had been together, it was a jarring realization of what exactly was going on between you two. The harbored feelings that you had kept at bay for far too long crashing to the surface only to be shunned away from the harsh reality of what lay before you. 

That it would never work. That as time continued on and you two continued changing through the times that it was only ripping you further apart. Such different points of life that you two sat in, you couldn’t even begin to see him from where you were standing. How he was living his life without you and enjoying himself more than you would ever begin to understand. 

The stories you shared were the only highs you could offer him. The rest of your time was spent in a mundane existence that you could only dream about spending with him. That Danny would make better in a way that only he could. Knowing that after telling yourself for exponential amounts of time that he wasn’t thinking about you, didn’t need you, you didn’t truly believe that.

This evening proved that.

You crept out of the room before the sun rose that morning. Not wanting to be there when he woke up to face that light together. You wouldn’t do that to yourself. Because you loved him too much. Too damn much. 

Instead, you were going to survive off the hope that maybe one day way down the road there would be a glimmer of chance for you two. That chance didn’t exist yet, but maybe one day it would. Because that was all you had to go on. 

Hope. 

Your phone dinged into the room, vibrating against the wood of your nightstand table. You were getting ready to go see a movie with one of your friends and you thought the message was going to be from her that she was on her way.

Instead, Danny’s name sat on your screen, telling you that you needed to meet behind the mall at nine that night. One of your secret rendezvous points that no one would ever think to check into. 

Quickly messaging your other friend that you weren’t feeling your best that night and would have to cancel, you haphazardly changed your clothes and rushed out the door. He was already there waiting for you when you arrived. Arms enclosing around you and placing chaste kisses all over your face, neck, and arms.

Laughter echoing off the buildings as you weakly fought him off. “Where we going tonight?” You asked as he wrapped you in his embrace and started to move you both towards his truck. “Ah, that’s a surprise, bug.” 

The entire drive to the top secret location, you were tucked into his side as he drove, lips occasionally dancing across your hairline and temples. It was a fact that whenever you were with Danny that you were always beaming. He loved it. Seeing you so utterly happy. It was unlike any feeling he could describe. 

When you sat in an empty field that you two frequented together, he was smiling brightly, grabbing all of the supplies he had packed in the back of his truck. “We are watching the meteor shower tonight,” he finally told you as he made the bed of his truck into a makeshift bed for you both.

You had briefly mentioned this to him last week, but in actuality it was to the entire group, not realizing Danny had picked up on what you had mentioned. Crawling in between his legs, you back connected with his chest, letting his arms drape over you. 

With heads inclined up, you two watched the meteor shower for hours. They traveled across the sky so quickly you would miss them if you blinked. It had been quiet for most of the night, Danny just letting you enjoy this. 

It nearly startled him when you began talking. “Danny?” His lips pressed into the crown of your head, letting you know that he was listening. “Can you promise me something?” You were speaking quietly. Not wanting to spook the night. Worried that if you were to raise your voice, it would startle the stars from their resting spots. 

Speaking again before he had the chance to, it was choked out. “Promise me it’ll always be us, Danny.” Without a moment of hesitation, he tipped your head back, locking eyes with you as he lightly pecked your lips.

“Always.”

Nearly crying the entire flight home, you were filled with disappointment. They had dropped you off at the airport after a few wonderful days together, Danny hardly able to look you in the eyes. When he had woken up without you by his side, he couldn’t understand why you would have left. Maybe everything he had thought you two had was all a figment of his imagination. Something he had concocted in his mind to cope with the unreturned feelings he had for longer then he could begin to explain. 

All you had wanted was for him to stop you from getting on that plane and going back home. It was too much to ask. You knew that. You knew that Danny was never yours to lose. So why did it feel like you were? 

 But I can see us lost in the memory

August slipped away into a moment in time

Cause it was never mine

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

Cause you were never mine

Every time you and Danny managed to sneak away from everyone it almost always was something different. Making sure to escape to somewhere you wouldn’t accidentally run into someone you weren’t supposed to be seeing. 

Sometimes it meant going to the arcade, movies, or ice cream. Always the next town over just to be safe, but still. It meant getting to spend time with him while you could. Before August would come to a close and you would part once more. 

Any time you could spend together was utter bliss. The summer months meant freedom, but it always held a deeper meaning to you. Summer was Danny. 

Every break wasn’t always the same though. You weren’t naive enough to believe that you were the only person Danny was seeing year round, but it was a stab to the chest when you came home for Christmas and saw he had someone else under his arm.

In the spot you should’ve been. But you knew it wasn’t fair to think like that. Danny wasn’t yours. The relationship wasn’t yours. There wasn’t a relationship there to claim. Instead, you forced a smile to your face and refused to look in their direction for the family Christmas party. 

By the time summer had rolled around again, you both found yourselves partnerless and ready to immerse yourselves back into each other. Your parents had left for a week-long cruise through the Florida keys which meant you had the house all to yourself while they were gone.

Which meant spending time with Danny every single night. 

He hadn’t left your house all week. You two had purchased enough food and drinks to last the entire time. Lying to friends that you had gone with your parents and that Danny was off visiting some distant relatives for the week had meant you two were golden.

Danny hardly let you out of his sight the entire time. Having christened the entire home, you two were laid in your living room on the final night, drunk on champagne you had purchased for brunch, but ended up not using for that purpose. Never having reached brunch. 

The fireplace was the only light source in the room, tv playing lowly in the back, you were sat atop Danny’s lap, bottle in hand and swigging from it. He was speechless, seeing you in this light, nude on his lap and seeing you unbelievably happy. 

The happiest he was sure he had ever seen you. The happiest he had ever been. He didn’t understand what he was feeling as he watched you. Relief? Content? Love? 

No, of course not. It wouldn’t make sense. It didn’t in his mind. That’s why he tabled it, pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, just wanting to spend the time he had with you, with you. No pressure, no anxiety, no expectations. Just the time you two spent together where it was just you two.

 What summer was for you, it was for Danny. You were summer. 

When Thanksgiving came, you were nervous. Extremely nervous to even be attempting to do this in front of your family and closest friends. In front of Danny. Everyone was warm and welcome to offer a seat at the table for your new partner. Nothing serious you noted, but wanting to get your mother off your back about bringing someone home, you bit the bullet and drug him along with you. 

Now as you felt eyes burning a hole into the side of your head, you were wracked with regret. You knew it was going to be hurtful to him. That’s why you didn’t want to do it, but how could you explain whatever your situation was with Danny to them? You couldn't, which is exactly why you brought this guy. 

Danny had never experienced these feelings before. Jealousy, sadness, anger to this degree. But he had to be fine with this because you weren’t his to put some sort of ridiculous claim on. No matter how much he wanted to. 

You weren’t his. 

Back when I was living for the hope of it all

Carrying on with life was proving to be much more complicated than you had intended. If you knew this would be the outcome, you wouldn’t have gone in the first place. Moping around your home was proving futile to your mental health.

Go figure, right? 

Curled up on your couch, you were startled when a pounding came from your front door. It was late, way too late for someone to just be casually showing up at your home. Slowly approaching the door, they knocked again, making you jump back just a couple of feet.

“Bug!” 

Instantly standing up straight at the voice, you threw the door open. Danny stood there, clearly nervous to be standing at your front door. His eyes were bouncing around at you and the surroundings, your mouth agape like an idiot. 

Blinking rapidly, you came back to your senses and fully opened the door and moved for him to come in as you grabbed his arm. “What-what the hell are you doing here? Why didn’t you call me? What’s going on?” You were rapid firing the questions off and as you went to ask another, he cut you off. 

“I shouldn’t have let you get on that plane.” 

You shut up. Facing him in utter confusion at his words, hearing the strained tone in which he spoke. Shaking your head, you didn't know what to say back. “I love you.” Was the next thing out of his mouth that nearly had you collapsing onto the floor.

Tears filled your eyes as you looked up at him to see him crossing the room to you. His hands cupped your cheeks as the tears fell down them. The tremble in his hands nearly disappeared entirely the moment he got his hands on you. 

“I love you, bug and I know you love me.” Your chin wobbled at his words, vision blurred from the continuous stream. “I shouldn’t have let you get on that plane. I’m not watching you leave me again. I can’t do it.” His mouth was set as he finished, refusing to accept any but your confession of love.

Your hands went to his wrists, grabbing at the familiar skin that you missed dearly. “You are mine. You’ve been mine since we were teenagers! I love you and you’re not leaving me again.” You sniffed, trying to find your voice to respond to him.

“I love you.” You finally squeaked out. His eyes shut, relief flowing from his veins at the admission. Bringing you to him, he connected you both in a needy mess. It was all you two needed. 

To be with one another past summer. Because despite Danny being summer, you knew that he was yours year round. And you were ready to stake that claim. 

[colbyskies]

Lover, You Should've Come Over

1.2k words Bill Kaulitz x male reader Bill and M/n had broken up, months ago. Leaving both of them to wallow in their pity and on M/n’s end—self hatred. Bill wanted to go public, they had an on and off relationship since they were both teenagers, the year was new and Bill was ready to take the next step; coming out. M/n wasn’t, he still isn’t. Coming out is terrifying, especially to an entire fanbase, especially in 2014.

Bill and M/n had broken up, months ago. Leaving both of them to wallow in their pity and on M/n’s end—self hatred. Bill wanted to go public, they had an on and off relationship since they were both teenagers, the year was new and Bill was ready to take the next step; coming out. M/n wasn’t, he still isn’t. Coming out is terrifying, especially to an entire fanbase, especially in 2014. 

It’s been a couple weeks since the release of Tokio Hotels new album, Kings of Suburbia. M/n can tell that there are some songs about him, he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been writing a song about Bill too. 

He loves him still and he hopes with all his heart that Bill still loves him. 

So as he sits in this radio station, ready to hop on the radio and sing one of his songs live, he second guesses which one he should actually sing. It would be a shot in the dark to sing the song he wrote for Bill, what are the chances that he’s actually listening to the radio right now? Despite it, M/n knows it's now or never, the record label would never sell something where M/n is clearly talking about a male lover. 

“Hello everybody! Today we have M/n with us, he’s going to sing one of his songs!” The broadcaster announces not noticing the way M/n’s body shakes with nerves. “What song are you going to sing?” 

It’s now or never, right? “I’m going to sing a new song that I recently wrote, first ever listen on air.” M/n smiles through his shaking hands, this could be the end of his career.

“Really?!” The broadcaster looks shocked but excited. “Well let's get into it then!”

The second M/n hears the soundtrack to his song playing in the background he knows there's no backing out of it. Everything in his body telling him to turn tail and run goes off in his head like a series of hurricane sirens. He can only hope Bill is listening. 

— — — —

Bill hates to admit it, but he’s stuck on M/n, almost obsessive over what he’s doing and who he’s with. He knows he shouldn’t act like this, he ended things for God’s sake, but he can’t stop himself from tuning the radio to the station he heard M/n was going to be singing on. 

At first he just had it on for background noise, but after hearing M/n is going to be singing a new song, he puts down his notebook and listens.

The sound is strange, nothing Bill has ever heard from M/n before. It’s almost churchy, something that M/n definitely does not lean to. As soon as the intro closes a beautiful melody plays and Bill instantly knows the song will be a sad one. 

“Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners…” Bill once again finds it to be strange that M/n is singing about this but turns up the volume anyway, loving the sound of his voice. Missing it. 

Bill sits with his knees to his chest, Pumba at his side supporting him. 

“...Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong, but tonight you're on my mind…” The way his voice sings makes Bill’s chest ache, it sounds so genuine. Each break in his voice breaks down Bill's defenses. 

“...Much too blind to see the damage he's done. Sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one…” An apology. Something Bill didn’t know he wanted until this moment. The way his heart fills with warmth at the sound of the discret apology makes him feel shameful for his feelings of breaking up with him. 

Pumba has now gotten up, trying to play with Bill, but the singer rejects him. Feeling the need to focus on everything M/n is saying or singing for that matter. 

“So I'll wait for you, love. And I'll burn. Will I ever see your sweet return? Oh, will I ever learn?” Bill almost chuckles at the last question, something he has said to M/n time and time again during their fights. Fights that Bill now finds to be pointless arguments used to push each other's buttons. 

“Hey Bill, what do you want to eat?” Tom walks into the room asking only to find his brother curled in on himself on the floor, watching the radio like he can see through it to the other side. The older twin is about to ask what is wrong when he hears the familiar voice over through the stereo. A voice both of the twins have grown up with and found to love, the voice of a former friend. 

“...My body turns and yearns for a sleep that won't ever come…” Tom makes his way to Bill before sitting beside him and putting an arm over his shoulders. This break up has been one of the hardest things Tom has to witness his brother going through. Bill even got back into the old habit of sleeping in his brother's room for comfort, scared to be alone after years of falling asleep with a familiar warmth beside him or pressed into him. 

“...My kingdom for a kiss upon his shoulder. It's never over. All my riches for his smiles when I've slept so soft against him…” Bill’s eyes blow wide with shock. “Holy shit… Did he just say he?” Tom could barely talk either, his mouth slack. M/n has always been terrified to reveal anything about his sexuality and now he’s doing it live. He can’t take it back or say it was a slip up of words. He actually took that leap. 

“...It's never over. All my blood for the sweetness of his laughter. It's never over. He is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever…” Suddenly, Bill throws his face into Tom's neck, crying at the words. A simple change of pronouns sending Bill into a fit of sobs. Bill doesn’t even know if he’s happy or sad. He’s happy M/n did it, but they’re not together anymore. M/n isn’t his like he used to be and Bill is so scared he won’t get him back. 

“...Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I've done. Sweet lover, you should've come over. Oh, love, well I've waited for you. Lover, lover, lover. Lover, love, love, love, love, love, love!

Lover, you should've come over 'cause it's not too late.” The emotion in M/n’s voice is evident, the sadness, the yearning, the regret, everything on display for everyone to hear. Bill wishes he could listen to the sweet words on repeat, to hear M/n call him those names once more. To hold him and tell him everything will be okay, but he’s not here with him. 

M/n did this for him. 

— — — —

When the song finishes M/n is rushed out of the station by his manager. His manager yells obscenities at him, but M/n couldn’t care less, this is his life and he wants to live it with Bill. Despite everything, he hopes Bill heard, he hopes Bill still wants this as much as he does. 

All of that is confirmed to be true when he receives a text from ‘Bill <3’ that reads, “Call me.”

There's no need to hide anymore, he loves Bill more than anything and would do anything for him. 

[baeshijima]

SOPHIE PLEASEEE HEAR ME OUT...

in light of blade canonically having a drivers license, designated driver!blade

he drives you home when you're drunk (he acts annoyed but he's turning on the heater in his car and putting his jacket over you like tucking you under a blanket and putting the cat neck pillow you left in his car on you and changing the radio station to one that's playing soft tunes and turning the volume down)

he picks you up from failed dates (not knowing if he should be relieved that it failed or be sad because you look sad + he threatens to hunt down your date and beat them up if you share that they said smth rude)

he magically appears with his car when you're stranded in the rain despite not telling him about your situation (consensually having each other's locations on and him noticing that there's heavy rain where you are and immediately hops into his car to get to where you are before kafka can even finish her quip about how he would never have That level of urgency if the rest of them were stuck in the rain)

NONNIE YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS MY EARS ARE WIDE OPEN HELLO 😩

designated driver!blade who, whenever you offhandedly mention going somewhere, will always check his phone for the distance and predicted weather in that area. past a five minute walking distance? already grabbing his keys for the car to drive you there before you can even stand up. oh, there's at least a 10% chance for rain? don't worry! he already grabbed an umbrella and is now on his way to make sure the car roof is up and that the wipers actually work! you're running late for something and need to be there asap? well, what's a few speed limits against his indomitable will to see you happy?

resistance is futile, you realised during the early days when he started this habit. even if you were to protest and make the rational argument of "it's literally around the corner" or "public transport exists for a reason", he will merely give you a withering, deadpan stare before continuing his way to the car knowing you don't have the heart to leave him waiting there despite all your protests. it's come to a point where you don't even have to announce you're going somewhere for him to know, merely getting the keys and following you out as you resign to your fate of having blade as your personal chauffeur.

(though you have to admit, his song choices are pretty banger, and he has definitely saved you from some tough situations more times than you can count with his rather impeccable timing.)

[blueorchid-95]

Sliding in here to say that I don’t think Reginald has actually been Lead Support Agent for all that long.

First off, the very fact that he ends up working as our handler should say something. At the start of the first game, we’re either a total novice agent or a fresh member of the EOD. Even if we did have experience working in the Agency before the TK implant, it seems unlikely that the Lead Support Agent of all people would settle down to work with us.

Maybe there wasn’t enough support agents available, and therefore Reginald had to become our Handler, you say? That does make sense… but according to the radio in IEYTD 3, the Agency has a surplus of new field agents coming in to help out in the EOD, enough that they “might run out of kinesium for TK implants.” This implies that there’s plenty of handlers set up to handle the sudden influx of field agents, as there’s never any mention of new support agents joining en masse. In turn, this tells us that there definitely was more than enough handlers back before Agent Phoenix became Agent Phoenix.

Second off, his photo in the post-mission rooms during IEYTD 3 tells us a lot too.

Just… look at it.

For comparison’s sake, here is Director Morales:

Most of the photos on the wall are similar in nature to Director Morales—calm and stoic. Yang Jinyi, the Head of Operations, is smiling, but still rather low-key. The only person who fully matches Reginald’s energy is Hank Jenkins, the Head of Public Relations.

But what is that energy? Why are Reginald and Hank smiling so hard in their photos compared to everyone else?

That’s easy. They’re nervous.

We’ve never heard of Hank before, but we all know the Handler. He’s good at his job, but he’s also incredibly anxious. If you’ve listened to the Operation: Jet Set song on IEYTD 2’s soundtrack, you’ve heard him stammer over himself trying to sound cool while addressing his favorite actor. “We’re, ahh, we’re the best in the business! The secret agent business—oh, uhhh…”

Reginald photo captures this energy masterfully. He mainly looks happy and excited, but when placed around all of the other photos, doesn’t it look like he’s trying too hard? Like he’s suddenly found himself on top and didn’t ever expect to?

Of course, there’s the party photo you can find in Roxana’s house. Reginald even refers to it as “a long time ago.” It shows him having a ball with Morales, Roxana, and the ever-mysterious V. Vitti in the back. So that should discredit this theory, right?

Nope! Because everyone in that photo looks the exact same as they do in their respective Agency Lead photograph. The banner above the four implies that they’re celebrating the invention of the TK implant, which seems to be a decently new tool for the Agency—the Handler implies that implants came into play after he left the field, and there’s no way to tell exactly how long it’s been since then—whether a few decades or a few years, it’s at least been long enough for our Handler to adjust to his new position. This fact can crunch our timeline considerably. If Reginald wanted to become Lead Support Agent, he’d have to make his way up through the ranks after he was promoted… which clearly could’ve been much later than we think.

Not to mention that the party photo also doesn’t present any information relative to their ranks in the company at the time. It simply shows a band of friends gathered together to celebrate an accomplishment, making it impossible to date as well. All we know is that it took place a while back.

It’s impossible to know exactly when Reginald became Lead Support Agent. But with this information in mind, it’s easy to believe he’s new to it.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Sixteen (Part 3)

Hours later, when the sun has finally begun to dip behind the hills, Jen and I meet up with the others under a red sunset sky at one of the small stages. Shane, Joe and Kasper really want to see Pendulum, which is why we’re all here, but I can tell by the indignant faces of Jen and Jude that electronic dance music isn’t quite their inclination. Claire, on the other hand, has cheeks flushed with pink and looks thrilled with herself, her fingers linked with Shane’s now, in a public gesture of their affections towards each other, and while it should be freaky to see them together, something about it just isn’t. They look normal like that. I catch her eye to smile at her and she beams back, her whole face crinkling up with delight. “I hope you had a good day.” I mouth to her. 

“No, it’s good show.” Kasper is saying to Jen, after she grumbles about having to be there. “Not liking the music on the radio? Doesn't matter. Different feeling in person.” He throws his arm around me and tries to garner my support. “Evie agrees? Yes?”

“I’m up for anything.” I say. 

“Great!” He pats me on the back and then we shove our way deep into the crowd. “Let’s go.”

It’s rowdier and sweatier in this crowd than it was at Fleet Foxes, but I can’t say I’m too surprised. I’m crammed in with people who have been drinking all day, all packed in together like sardines in a tin. Someone near me didn’t even bother to wear a t-shirt, and I’m disgusted by how much he stinks when he brushes against me to get past. The air is thick with heat and sweat, and the anticipation of looking up at the blackened stage makes me tense and excited at the same time. Then the band walks out onto it, and red lights erupt into the sky and the crowd starts cheering, a roaring, masculine sound as hundreds of hands shoot upwards. I just do what everyone else is doing, and as the first notes of a song start playing, there is a feeling in my stomach that unfurls and spreads all over my body. I close my eyes as I let solid beats of the drums reverberate through the ground and into me, feeling like it’s invaded my bones and flesh and become part of my body. 

Everyone begins jumping around madly, shouldering each other from side to side like they’re collectively losing their minds and I just go limp and move with the wave. It’s kind of thrilling to abandon yourself like this, and I lift my hands to the sky and watch the light show, blue and red and green against the darkening sky. It’s so hot, but I let the sweat roll down my face. A hand curls around the back of my neck, and Jude’s mouth is at my ear. “You okay?” His breath against my cheek is like a kiss. 

“Yeah, it’s amazing.” I say. “Only I wish I could see more.” 

“C’mere.” 

I don’t know what’s happening, as he ducks down suddenly and nudges his head against the backs of my legs, grabbing my thighs. 

“What are you doing?”

“Get on my shoulders.”

I let him lift me up high so that my fingers stretch up towards the stars and I can see everything, the wild, flashing lights on the stage, the silhouettes of the band, and I think that I’ve never been happier or freer in my life. I feel it rising up in my chest like champagne bubbles, erupting out of me in bursts of laughter. Someone puts a cigarette into Jude’s hand and he lights it and starts smoking it beneath me, and when he reaches up to offer it to me I take it between my fingers without even thinking, and as I take a drag from it high up on his shoulders like this I feel like I’m somebody else. I’m not Evelyn Kilbride, I’m some other girl, someone who smokes cigarettes and doesn’t care what other people think about her, sitting high above the crowd where everyone can look, and she’s not even shy about it. 

Someone starts spraying cold water on us and I welcome the sensation on my hot skin. I sort of feel like I’ve been blessed. Like I’m some kind of holy being and I have ascended and everybody should be bowing down at my feet. I never knew music could do this to a person. I never want it to be over. 

My heart is thumping after the final song, and I know that I must look insane as I clamber down Jude’s back and stare right at his face, my eyes wide open, every nerve ending in my body vibrating with life.. 

“Do you want to come with me to the trees?” I say, suddenly remembering the fairy lights and the candles from earlier, and can only imagine how they must look now that the sun has disappeared. 

Jude laughs and says yes, even though I know he doesn’t know where I mean. I grab his hand and lead him through the crowds, and then somewhere at the entrance barriers we’re caught up in a tangle of people and then somehow he’s leading me and his fingers are wound through mine instead. The sensation of it is the most acute I’ve ever felt. He takes me on a twisting trail through merchandise stands, just a blur of colour and lights now.

We don’t say anything to each other, but it feels like speaking would ruin the spell that’s woven itself around us, and I don’t know where he’s taking me, or if he knows where the copse of trees is, but I just let him take me. 

We end up somewhere past the stands, where a neon sign advertising some light beer glows above a trellis wall with flowers snaking up it, it looks very artistic, and there’s nobody there apart from us. We look at each other, and I open my mouth to tell him that we’ve gone the wrong way, but the expression on his face makes the words catch in my throat, he’s just looking at my mouth, and then suddenly his hands are on me, curling gently around the back of my neck and he’s kissing me. 

It’s unlike any kiss I’ve ever had in my life, and as he’s softly pressing his lips into mine I realise why people kiss each other. It’s as though I’m losing myself totally in the circle of his arms, the movement of his lips on mine making me feel hot and cold all at once, and when he opens his mouth to gently brush his tongue against the tip of mine it’s like I’ve forgotten where I am. His hands are all over me in places I’ve never been touched before, skating on the skin beneath my t-shirt, and I shiver, not because they’re cold, but because the sensation of his fingers on my skin is so intense, I’m shaky. I feel like I’d collapse if he wasn’t holding me up. 

Images flash in my mind of him like this at other times with other girls, and what he’s done to them in the dark beneath the sheets, and for the first time I understand it too. I understand why people want to do those things with each other, because now when I think about doing them with Jude, it’s not only fear that I feel, but longing too.  

He stops kissing me for a moment, and affectionately strokes my hair away from my forehead. “We should have done that ages ago.” He says against my lips, and even that feels sexy. 

“I wish we had.” I lament.

“Only there’s that thing with Liam…”

“Oh, no, I don’t talk to Liam anymore. We’re not a thing.”

“If you were, I could have kissed you anyway.”

“So cocky.” I tease. “Poor Liam.”

“Poor Liam.” He mimics. “Fuck Liam.”

I start to laugh but he kisses the sound right of my mouth, this time harder, and he presses me against the wall. His hands are on my hips and my breasts and the unfamiliarity and intimacy of it makes me gasp, my heart is thrumming in my chest and I know that it’s only part desire. He pushes himself closer to me so that our bodies are pressed together and makes a sound directly into my mouth that I feel all the way down to my toes. I have to pull away, it’s too much. 

“Are you okay?” He says, and it feels like he’s been asking me that all day. His eyes are searching my face anxiously, and he’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon. 

I nod. “I’m fine I just… I don’t want-”

“Okay, yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry.”

“Oh my god, I’m.. I’m sorry if I’m being awkward.”

“You’re not.” He brushes his knuckles against my cheek. “You’re not awkward, I pushed you too far, that’s fair enough.”

I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped him. Would he have taken me back to his tent and taken all my clothes off? It felt like he might have. The thought of being naked in front of him makes me feel a bit lightheaded. 

“We can go to those trees you wanted to show me now, if you want.” He offers, and I bring my hand to my face. “Yeah, sorry, I never explained about the trees.”

“The mysterious trees.”

We leave our little corner under the beer sign and head off to where Jen and I were earlier, although I can’t really remember exactly where it is anymore. My head feels scrambled and my limbs still feel weak. It doesn’t really matter though, as Jude just walks along contently beside me, chatting away about music. He doesn’t act all intimate anymore, or try to hold my hand, which makes me realise more than anything just how weird it was when Liam was all over me after we kissed on the beach. He was like a golden retriever puppy, all smiling and innocent, while everything about Jude seems the opposite. He’s darker and more elusive, which makes me feel kind of obsessed with him. It’s as though he’s holding the keys that will open up into the adult world. 

We end up running into our friends at a burger stand , which puts an end to both the spell between us and our mission. Jen wants to know where we were and Jude makes up something about getting a beer, then he ends up talking to Shane about another indie band I haven’t heard of, but I don’t have the energy to pretend to know them. I feel jellified. 

I order a burger too, because I’m hungry, and when I sit with everyone on a bench and tuck into it, I catch Jen’s eye over my lettuce. She gives me an inquisitive look, but I just glance away and act like I didn’t notice. 

“Did you like Pendulum?” Kasper asks me, and I tell him that actually, I did. I loved them. And then we just chat about that and I pretend that it’s the only interesting thing that happened to me all night. 

Prev // Next

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Never Let Go Thoughts

I finally listened to Jung Kook's Never Let Go via a reaction video. I sort of skipped through it, to be honest. I'm not here to write a review of the song, but to express some concerns.

As others have said, the song feels rushed and unfinished. Yes, it's repetitive and continues to be a little too derivative of Justin Bieber's work. Also, his English pronunciation isn't the greatest. Because the tempo is so fast, his diction suffers. Any non-native English speaker will have this problem given how fast the song is.

I think it's great that Jungkook is trying new genres. An artist really needs to push boundaries and take risks in order to grow and stay relevant in the industry. But in this case, I'm struggling to understand how such a simple song could have 8 writers and 4 producers. Teenagers across the globe are making better music in their bedrooms with free or cheap music production software.

This is going to sound crazy given how snarky I can be, but I genuinely feel bad for Jungkook. Seven and Golden didn't sit right with me, and neither does Never Let Go. It's increasingly clear that Big Hit/HYBE's goal is to make money off of JK without investing in his growth as an artist, even though we know he's a serious music lover with high standards. And while ARMY and JJKs will support Jungkook unconditionally - continuing to buy and stream his music - the general music consuming public will not. Right now he's not an industry joke because most people in the GP have no idea who he is, but if BSH and BH keep this up, JK will become completely irrelevant. The American music market is not the Korean music market. Copying established western singers over and over again is not going to end well, especially when the final product feels significantly sub-par to the original.

Now for the scary part. Who is paying for all this promotion - especially for a song that should have either been released on music platforms but not for sale, or simply brought back to the recording studio for improvement/reworking? If JK's marketing costs are deducted from his song sales and streaming profits, not only will he not make money, but he might end up owing HYBE big bucks. I think it's very likely he's in a 360 contract with Big Hit given how much investment they've put into his solo work. Hopefully he was able to negotiate favorable terms so he doesn't end up in massive debt for his solo projects. Jon Bellion's recent bellyaching about the lack of radio play for SEVEN makes me think the group behind JK's album aren't getting the royalties they were expecting.

As I watch BTS' fandom devolve into divisiveness and rancor, as the members' solo singles fail to chart in the US, and public perception about HYBE continues to fall, I worry. I think Bang PD was counting on BTS' reputation and brand value lasting forever. He's a foolish man. I'm reminded of that video where he's sitting with TXT and telling them that their collab with the Jonas Brothers is going to be a huge hit and has a guaranteed spot on the Billboard Hot 100. We all know how that went. Does anyone have a link to that clip? Bang PD has a lot of bravado, but not a lot of western music industry sense.

Thanks for these comments on my previous post, @in2u-4asec and @isaidnothankyou. Ditto!

in2u-4asec i worry about jk to be honest. because all the money used and continued being used to promote him as a soloist, it isn't free. he has to make money to pay all of that. i just really hope he hasn't signed any solo contract like that infamous 360 one. isaidnothankyou @in2u-4asec, I've thought the same thing. I know it isn't the thing to take away from his "agency," but was it really his idea to release an unfinished song (he was obviously embarrassed about it) in a blatant money grab? I've said this about Jimin, but it goes for everyone. Do they have anyone who is NOT affiliated with the company to advise them and protect their interests? A real manager, in other words, not just someone who drives them and takes care of the luggage?

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: June 5, 1989

Lyrics:

Night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows

Perhaps someone you know could sparkle and shine

As the daydreams slide to color from shadow

Picture the moon glow that dazzles my eyes

And I love you

Just lying, smiling in the dark

Shooting stars around your heart

Dreams come bouncing in your head

Pure and simple every time

Now you're crying in your sleep

I wish you'd never learned to weep

Don't sell the dreams you should be keeping

Pure and simple every time

Dream of sights of sleigh rides in seasons

Where feelings not reasons can make you decide

As leaves pour down, splash autumn on gardens

As colder nights harden, their moonlit delights

And I love you

Just lying, smiling in the dark

Shooting stars around your heart

Dreams come bouncing in your head

Pure and simple every time

Now you're crying in your sleep

I wish you'd never learned to weep

Don't sell the dreams you should be keeping

Pure and simple every time

Look at me with starry eyes

Push me up to starry skies

There's stardust in my head

Pure and simple every time

Fresh and deep as oceans new

Shiver at the sight of you

I'll sing a softer tune

Pure and simple over you

If love's the truth then look no lies

And let me swim around your eyes

I've found a place I'll never leave

Shut my mouth and just believe

Love is the truth, I realize

Not a stream of pretty lies

To use us up and waste our time

Lying, smiling in the dark

Shooting stars around your heart

Dreams come bouncing in your head

Pure and simple every time

Now you're crying in your sleep

I wish you'd never learned to weep

Don't sell the dreams you should be keeping

Pure and simple every time

Look at me with starry eyes

Push me up to starry skies

There's stardust in my head

Pure and simple every time

Songwriter: Ian Broudie

Fresh and deep as oceans new

Shiver at the sight of you

I'll sing a softer tune

Pure and simple over you

Pure and simple just for you

SongFacts:

"Pure" is a song by British music group Lightning Seeds from their debut album Cloudcuckooland. Released in June 1989, the song reached number 16 in the UK. The track is the band's only entry in the top 40 of the US Billboard Hot 100, peaking at number 31. It was also the band's first hit on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart and reached number 8 in May 1990.

Lightning Seeds' first single release, "Pure", is significant in that it was the first song that Ian Broudie had "ever fully written and sung". Producing a track for The Pale Fountains gave Broudie the chance to release some of his own material. He originally had concerns:

Nevertheless, Broudie recorded “Pure” in a studio in Kirkby. Originally 200 copies of the single were printed, but after some radio play and attention at The Haçienda, the song soon reached the general public.

“To be honest, I didn’t think many people would be interested. I think I didn't really have the confidence and I wasn't in a band, but I wanted to get my music out there and get it heard."

— Ian Broudie

[briamichellewrites]

70

Meow. Bark! When the animals heard a car approaching the house, they gathered at the front door. They anticipated the arrival of their humans. They greeted them as soon as they opened the door. You are home! Hello, humans! They said hello to them and tried not to step on their paws. It had been a long and emotional day. All they wanted to do was relax. Brad stayed at the hospital with Bria and Jon. He would be returning home later. Jon was the highlight of the day because he made Bria happy.

She had the biggest smile on her face when he walked in. He and Dave were both thrilled to have him there because they had been fans of his band, Bon Jovi, when they were younger. Mike remembered listening to them with Bria when they were hanging out at her "party house." She would play their greatest hits album repeatedly. He wished he could go back there. It was private.

He and Jason loved it because they could do whatever they wanted without their parents' knowledge. They never did anything illegal. Rather, they hung out and discussed topics they could not tell their parents. Independence was something they desired as teenagers and young adults. That house was where they had their first kiss. It was also where they got together. That house held so many wonderful memories. He wished he could return there and spend the afternoon.

Dave interrupted his memories by asking what he was thinking. He was simply thinking about innocence. What did he mean?

"Jon reminded me of when Bria, Jason, and I were younger. We would listen to his albums over and over. That reminded me of the house she lived in after graduating from high school. We called it 'the party house.'"

"Are they good memories?"

"Okay, yeah. It’s just… I do not even know what the correct term is. How did life go by so quickly? I guess that is what I am thinking about."

“I don’t know. It goes by before you know it."

“How was your appointment?”

He was so grateful that he pushed him to go. The therapist was an army veteran who had been diagnosed with PTSD. He had to retire due to his diagnosis. A veteran at the VA encouraged him to pursue a career in therapy. He was going to be evaluated for possible PTSD. How about his sleeping problems? He had a prescription for something to help him sleep. It was not addictive.

He felt relieved to hear that. Dave showed him the bottle. It included his name, instructions, and side effects. Good for him. His mental health was not something he should be embarrassed about. He gave a nod. That is what he learned from him, Bria, and Chester. They were both hungry but too tired to cook, so they looked in the refrigerator for leftovers. Dave asked him if he fed the animals. No, he had forgotten. He volunteered to do it.

After taking the dogs out, the rest of the evening was spent in the studio. Mike created beats that could be used on the band's next album, while Dave sat and listened. He needed to do something to help himself relax for the night. He always felt better after listening to music. Dave was just happy to be home, and it did not matter what they did as long as he was with his husband.

Jon and Brad did not stay long because she needed to rest. He had a few days before returning to New Jersey, so they made plans to meet again. If the situation were different, he would invite him over to hang out. Jon understood. When they arrived at the hotel where he was staying, they hugged and said goodbye. Brad returned to the car and drove home, listening to the radio. Ironically, Bon Jovi happened to be the song playing as he drove away.

You Give Love A Bad Name. 1986. He was twenty-three years old and attempting to make it as an actor. Brad Pitt was unknown to the general public at the time. A year later, he landed his first acting job. It was strange to look back and realize how far he would come. Time slipped past him. One moment he was William Bradley Pitt of Shawnee, Oklahoma. Then he became a Hollywood movie star.

He greeted Dave and Mike when he found them in the kitchen. They greeted him. They were all tired, so it was obvious that the night would be quiet. They talked while they ate. Brad was returning to the hospital the following morning. He would probably spend all day there. Mike and Dave decided to stay at home and catch up on housework because there was no reason for the three of them to be there. He was fine with that.

Have they taken the dogs out yet? If they had not already, he offered to do it. That was okay. They took them out when they arrived home. Dave thanked him for the offering. They said good night to Brad after finishing their dinners and went upstairs.

As they prepared for bed, Mike reminded him to take his medication. Oh, yeah. He opened the bottle and removed the necessary pills. They tasted terrible without water. He cupped his hands under the faucet and drank the water to wash away the taste. Mike had to laugh when he asked if that helped. Yes, it did. How did it taste? It had a chalky taste. He made a face.

“Ew.”

“I’m bringing a plastic cup up here tomorrow.”

“I’ll try to remind you.”

They slept late the next morning. Brad left a note informing them that he had taken the dogs out and left food for the animals. He would inform them when he was on his way home. The animals appreciated having their humans around. Instead of rushing somewhere, they stayed at home with them. They went out with the dogs for some exercise. They enjoyed chasing each other around the backyard.

Kate was chasing Misty when she abruptly came to a halt. She looked behind her and noticed her using the restroom. When she was finished, they resumed running around. Mike kept his phone in his pocket, just in case. He took it out after feeling it vibrate. It was Jason. He asked his brother why he was calling him, as he did not think he would be able to use his phone in rehab. Uh oh. Dave could tell by the tone of his voice and facial expressions that things were not going well.

"Jay, I am exhausted. I love you, but I need a stress-free day. You do not know what Dave, Brad, and I are going through. Bria is in the hospital with cancer. I will come to see you tomorrow, okay? Please give me 24 hours."

When he finished talking, he hung up frustrated. He asked what happened. Jason wanted him to attend a family therapy session. He seemed to feel the need to tell him something. Dave instructed him to take deep breaths. He did, and it helped him relax. Whatever it was, it could wait until the following day. He was at home, resting with his husband and pets.

After a while of playing, the dogs became tired. They ran back inside to get some water. Yum, Yum! It tasted delicious! The home was quiet and peaceful. Mike absorbed it for a moment. It was as if his stress level had decreased. Perhaps he and Dave could take a nap later. Just the two of them. That seemed like an amazing idea.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[coochiequeens]

An old article but relevant with some moid musician turned activist attacking women on the basis that sometimes their views line up with conservatives

https://unherd.com/2023/10/does-billy-bragg-have-a-woman-problem/

Julie Bindel OCTOBER 3, 2023   

Louise Distras was once a darling of the anti-establishment Left. An underground punk singer whose hits include “Dreams From the Factory Floor”, this working-class woman is unafraid to speak her mind. Five years ago, she was being invited onstage by Billy Bragg, the folk singer and progressive activist — but since then, a lot has changed. Recently, Bragg has publicly and repeatedly condemned Distras, because she had done what she has always done: speak out against misogyny. This time, though, she was criticising the backlash against women who refuse to recite the “trans women are women” mantra.

Distras has been expressing concern about gender ideology in private since late 2021, but the first time she went public with her opinions was in May of this year. “I’m a woman, and a woman is an adult human female,” she said in an interview with Louder than War, a music website. “I’m a woman that’s experienced domestic abuse.” She later made comments, on Twitter, about how women are silenced for questioning gender ideology: “No amount of rainbows and ‘kindness’ can hide the authoritarianism and misogyny and homophobia that’s on display here, especially in the arts.”

Born in Wakefield in 1987, Distras ran away from home in her teens and, she told me, “stayed with a lot of dangerous people who took advantage of me”. She turned to song writing as a form of escape. Her bravery is remarkable. But as soon as her straightforward resistance to gender ideology became known, she was met with horrendous abuse. Distras has been called every name under the sun, including anti-trans, Nazi, scum, prostitute, grifter, child serial killer, and witch. She soon realised that she had been “marked for life” as a “disgusting terf” — that no redemption would ever be possible. She was told she deserves to be chucked out of the music industry. Her booking agency has said that her attitude towards transwomen could “have detrimental effects on [her] musical career”. Radio stations have stopped playing her songs and venues cancelled her gigs. “If I go back to the industry as it stands,” she says, “if someone had the balls to book me for a gig, I would likely be physically attacked. It’s not safe.”

Having been rejected by the majority of her contacts in the music industry, Distras decided she might as well use her voice to speak out. Alongside five other women, her testimony featured in the Daily Mail about the experience of being ostracised for daring to question gender ideology. One of the first derogatory reactions was from Bragg. “What??”, he tweeted, linking to the feature, which included a photograph of Distras — who usually wears black and leather on stage — wearing a formal dress. “Louise Distras hates trans people so much that she’s willing to dress in a style acceptable to Daily Mail readers in order to have a go at them. What does this have to do with feminism Louise? Or punk rock?”

Bragg fancies himself a bit of a trans ally. And prides himself on being an all-round anti-sexist bloke. In 2014, he posed with a sign, “I pledge never to commit, condone, or remain silent about men’s violence against women in all its forms,” as part of the White Ribbon campaign.

Back in the early days of her career, Bragg championed Distras as one of a “new breed” of singers, tweeting in 2013 that her song Love Me The Way I Am should be our next Eurovision entry. Another of her songs, The Hand You Hold, is about how what women say and do should matter more than how we look, and she tells me that “Billy for some reason loved that song and that’s why he invited me to go play on his stage” — which she did that year, at Glastonbury, and again in 2017. “So for him to now take a pop at me and start criticising what I look like instead of actually listening to what I have to say means he is the biggest hypocrite.”

But it is not only men who have gone after Distras. In a recent interview with Kerrang!, Phoebe Lunny of the Lambrini Girls reacted to Distras speaking out against trans ideology and the silencing of women: “I will scrap any Terf, any day, in person, with my fists.” In a tweet, Distras pointed to the hypocrisy of claiming to be progressive while “inciting violence against women”. She also condemned Kerrang! for publishing the remarks, saying she is “ashamed my face was printed on its pages. Vile!”

Spoken word poet Amelia Vandergast also responded angrily to Distras’s public statements about being cancelled by trans activists. In a feature entitled, “Wipe away the terf tears: freedom of expression was never permission to perpetuate hate in the music industry”, published in A&R Factory website, she wrote:

“In the recent Daily Mail article, which attempted to portray women as the victims of their transphobic hate, Louise Distras bemoaned the journalists, radio stations, and her booking agency who rightly refuse to have anything to do with her for the self-piteous bile spewed across her social media platforms (anyone got a tiny little violin I can borrow?)”

For Distras, the hypocrisy within the so-called radical music scene is appalling. While the misogyny of trans activists is ignored, women are viciously attacked for daring to defend their sex-based rights. She is one of a growing list of female artists criticising cancel culture — a phenomenon of which Bragg denies the existence.

But Bragg has form. He has dismissed feminist concerns about self-identification and argued that, owing to our incompatible “hardware”, lesbians are biologically ill-equipped for sex with other women and should therefore understand the plight of men claiming to be female. When Maya Forstater was harassed by trans activists in the street, Bragg suggested that she could not possibly have been scared or upset, because she appeared to be smiling. This is a classic sexist trope. Too often, women are told by men to “Give us a smile” when we complain about being sexually harassed by them, and yet women are informed we must have enjoyed the harassment if we attempt to laugh it off.

“I think he’s a misogynist,” Distras says, of Bragg. “I think it’s just plain to see for everybody and the way he is — the way that so many men are in the music industry.” She talks about how uncomfortable she has felt with him, describing him as “creepy”. “He’s everything he says he’s not. His words and his actions just don’t match up for me… The way he goes after women over the trans issue has made it really clear to me that he’s just a misogynist, and that he just doesn’t care about women”. She says what many feminists have said of many men in recent years: “The trans thing is just an excuse for him to bully women with impunity and do it publicly and get applauded for it.”

Bragg also showed no sympathy for Róisín Murphy, another female singer-songwriter who has faced the wrath of trans activists. After a private Facebook conversation in which she criticised the policy of giving children puberty blockers was leaked, she was admonished by Bragg for holding the wrong opinion. “Them’s the breaks,” Bragg tweeted when it was suggested that Murphy was being punished by having BBC coverage and concerts cancelled. “Think before you post is my advice, especially on issues that are contentious.” This is cowardice.

Distras strongly feels that the music industry used to be about “freedom of expression and freedom of speech”, but is currently in thrall to gender ideology and “totally monotheistic”. “There’s an urgent need to build a new one, with a proper counterculture that isn’t dominated by misogynists like Billy Bragg, where women have actually got a proper say,” she says, telling me she has had numerous messages from female musicians who are too scared to speak out — especially after seeing what happened to Murphy. “It’s well established that violence towards women is a massive problem in the music industry,” says Distras, “and here they are inciting more violence, and the rest of the music industry just applauds them for it and tells them they are stunning and brave.”

“We need more musicians to come forward courageously and without apology. There’s been so much support for me, and there will be for the other women. And the more of us that stand up, the more these men like Billy Bragg will not be so dominant.”