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#and that just happens to be the situation im in. im rational but for some people that means jack shit
bmpmp3 · 4 months
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and you know in general i am in a constant state of liking music that is associated with and/or is from some thing i know nothing about. so is the life of the anison fan who never watches tv shows.
#literally its so funny. i just like anison. i dont know the shows. sometimes i know the manga or vn or light novel or whatever LOL#easier for me to find time to read (at night when i should be sleeping) rather than watch things. i like movies tho#and sometimes if someone sits down with me i will watch a show!!!! social show watcher#sometimes i will literally read a manga and then look at the anime adaptations soundtrack later on. its wild. i dont know why im like this#my endless knowing anison because im a fan of the singer or whatever instead of watching the show its from is the least of my worries tho#thats just a bit funny and odd. the worse situation is when you like a song and then it gets licensed for some popular thing you dont know#and now you have to be so careful. i dont know it from that thing im sorrrryyyyyyyyyyyy#its usually not too bad i'll just be a disappointment to fans of the thing. but one time this happened with a thing i actively disliked#a song i liked because an old deviantart friend made fanart of an oc of mine with lyrics from that song got licensed years later and put in#a video game i have had like irrational beef with for years. apparently theres rational reasons to dislike it too#but thats not why i had beef with it. my beef was irrational unfortunately. and now i cant escaaaaape it hjklfsjsfkdlfs#that song is NOT about that game it was licensed in it is ABOUT the emo fanart a friend made me when i was 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but other than that usually this situation is just funny lol i just like tunes.........
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iamthekarmapolice · 2 months
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so like. if you have low self esteem is that just it? i grew up hating myself and so that’s just it forever? I never get to really truly feel good about myself?
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s0urte3th · 1 year
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i wish it were that easy, or a situation like that, but its not
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itneverendshere · 14 days
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it's my party, and i'll cry if i want to - r.c
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request: I was wondering if you might write a Rafe x reader fic where Rafe forgets her birthday but then makes up with her?
you spent the entire day oscillating between disappointment and sadness. 
crying on your birthday was a common thing when you were growing up, a girlhood achievement. everyone did it.
but now? now that you had rafe? your birthdays were amazing. he always went out of his way to surprise you and cherish you. he would’ve never forgotten something as important as your day. 
at least you didn’t think he would, until today. yeah, long-distance had been tough on both of you since college started, and while rafe usually tried his best to make you feel special, today was different.
it had been radio silence. no messages. no missed calls. not even an instagram story reaction. and now, it was already past midnight, the day officially over. your birthday had come and gone, and he hadn’t acknowledged it once.
you lay on your bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to rationalize the situation. 
maybe something came up. maybe he had a family emergency or got caught up in one of his class projects. you wanted to believe that. rafe had never been perfect, but he had always tried when it came to you. this, though? It felt like a gigantic slap in the face. 
the soft sound of your door creaking open startled you from your thoughts. your heart raced in your chest, confused. you lived alone off-campus—no one ever came by unannounced. you sat up, wiping at your tired eyes, and just as you were about to call out, you saw him.
rafe stood there, looking haggard, his clothes slightly wrinkled, his hair messy from a long day. but the sight of him, standing in your doorway, made your heart stop. he was there. in person.
“rafe?” you nearly gasped, “what—what are you doing here?”
his blue eyes were filled with guilt, brows furrowed, he looked like he’d been through hell and back. he dropped his duffel bag onto the floor and took a hesitant step toward you. “baby—” his voice cracked. “’m so fucking sorry.”
you blinked, trying to process what was happening. “sorry for what? for not calling? for forgetting? for ignoring me all day?” you didn’t mean for your voice to sound so broken, but goddamit it was your birthday. and you spent it all alone because you were too depressed to step foot outside your stupid apartment without a text from him.
he took another step forward, closing the distance between you. “didn’t forget, baby. i swear. i was trying to surprise you, i was supposed to be here hours ago, but—” he sighed deeply, running a frustrated hand through his messy hair. “everything went to shit.”
your brow furrowed in confusion, “what do you mean?”
“i booked a flight,” he explained quietly, sitting down on the edge of your bed, his knee brushing against yours. “wanted to fly in and surprise you, to spend the whole day with you for your birthday. i didn’t want to say anything because i thought it’d be more special if i just showed up, y’know? but god must hate me or some bullshit.”
you watched him carefully, your heart beating faster, unsure where he was going with this.
“the flight got delayed—twice. then it got canceled. i spent hours trying to get on another one, but there were no other options. by the time i finally landed, it was already after midnight.” he looked down at his hands, which were fidgeting nervously. “and i know that’s no excuse, but—”
“why didn’t you call me?” you asked, “you could’ve let me know.”
rafe let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “couldn’t. my phone, uh, it broke.”
“what?” you asked, not sure if you heard him correctly.
“yeah.” he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. “when the flight got canceled for the second time, i—uh—i might’ve thrown my phone against a wall. i was so pissed baby, so stressed because i knew i was ruining the surprise, and then…i couldn’t even call or text you. i was stuck.”
you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. the image of rafe, frustrated and angry at an airport, throwing his phone in a fit of rage was almost too ridiculous to believe. 
“so, you didn’t forget?” you whispered, your voice cracking slightly. you spent the entire day making up scenarios in your head, about how maybe he’d gotten tired of being with you, how maybe he had found someone new back in college.
“no, god, no,” he shook his head fervently. “i’d never forget your birthday.”
the sincerity in his voice made you want to cry like a baby all over again. there was still the lingering ache of loneliness and insecurity, of the day you spent thinking he had.
“i thought…” you swallowed, unable to hold back the tears, “i thought you didn’t care anymore. that we weren’t… enough. i was scared,” you admitted after a long pause. “that maybe you were pulling away. maybe we weren’t working anymore.”
rafe’s brows furrowed, and he quickly shook his head. “no. never. we’re working, okay? this long-distance bullshit—it sucks. but you and me? it’s forever, okay?”
you nodded slowly, “i really missed you.”
his expression dropped at your words, and in an instant, he was pulling you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. his scent, the feel of him, it was all so familiar, so comforting. you buried your face in his chest.
“shh, baby,” he murmured, his hand running soothingly through your hair as he kissed the top of your head. “’m so sorry. i never meant to hurt you. fuck, i hate that i made you feel like that. i wanted today to be perfect for you.”
you sniffled, trying to calm your breathing as you clung to him. “it wasn’t perfect.”
“i know,” he whispered, “i messed up. should’ve found a way to reach you, should’ve figured it out. you don’t deserve that, not on your birthday, not ever.”
he had tried. he had wanted to be here. and while it hadn’t gone the way either of you planned, his presence now, his arms around you, felt like all you needed.
“you threw your phone?” you asked, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth despite everything.
rafe’s face flushed with embarrassment, but he chuckled softly. “yeah, it wasn’t my proudest moment, shattered pretty badly. i don’t even know if I can get it fixed.”
“that’s so stupid.”
he laughed softly at your words, the sound rumbling through his chest where you were still nestled. his arms tightened around you just a little, as if he was scared you might slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough. “i was so pissed, baby. i thought I was ruining everything.”
you pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, your eyes red and puffy from the tears you’d been holding in all day. “you did ruin it,” you teased softly, though there was no real bite behind your words.
rafe still winced even thought he could tell you were joking, “maybe i could’ve borrowed someone’s phone at the airport, or... i don’t know, sent a smoke signal or something.”
it wasn’t the grand birthday surprise he’d been planning, and it wasn’t the perfect day you had imagined, but right now, having him here—seeing how much he cared—it was starting to feel like enough.
you snorted, “smoke signal, huh?”
he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at you as you audibly cooed at his dimples, "yeah, or, like... maybe hired a skywriter? whatever it took. i would've done anything to get to you."
you chuckled softly, wiping at your eyes, the lingering tears drying up now, “so dramatic.”
“’m serious,” he insisted as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing softly over your cheeks. “i’d swim across the damn ocean for you if i had to. swear to god, baby. nothing was going to stop me from getting here.”
the love in his eyes took your breath away. he wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better; you could see in his face, that he meant every word. the frustration and desperation of the day had taken its toll on him too. he had been trying so hard to be with you, to make your day special, and in that moment, you know much he hated that he couldn’t.
“you’ll make me cry again,” you groaned, feeling your heart swell with emotion. it wasn’t perfect, but the lengths he had gone to just to be with you made you want to kiss him stupid. he was here now, holding you like you were his entire world.
he leaned forward, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm on your lips as he murmured, “’m sorry i messed it up. i hate that you spent the day feeling like i didn’t care. you mean everything to me.”
tour chest tightened, “i felt so alone, didn’t know what to think.”
“i know,” he replied softly, his hands gently holding your face. “but sweetheart, i don’t care if we’re a thousand miles apart, i’ll always be here when you need me. ’m not going anywhere.”
the tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they weren’t from sadness, only from the overwhelming love you felt for him, for the boy who would go to any lengths just to be by your side.
“i love you,” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly as you spoke the words.
rafe smiled, his eyes softening as he kissed you gently, his lips lingering against yours in a slow, tender moment. “i love you too. so much.”
you sighed into the kiss, your hands reaching up to tangle in his messy hair, pulling him closer. the pressure that had been sitting in your chest all day seemed to disappear as his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight, as if he could keep all the hurt and disappointment away just by being near. it was just rafe—his hands gripping you like he couldn’t imagine to let you go, his lips coaxing out all the tension and loneliness you’d felt throughout the day. 
when he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours again, his lips curving into a playful smirk. “so… about the whole swimming across the ocean thing. think you’d be impressed?”
you giggled, rolling your eyes. “you’d probably drown halfway.”
“oh? so what i’m hearing is you don’t want your present.”
you nudged him playfully with your elbow. “i deserve at least three.”
“you want more presents now? greedy.”
you crossed your arms, trying to maintain your teasing tone despite the closeness, “you haven’t even wished me a happy birthday.”
he leaned back, elbows hitting the mattress as his lips morphed into a shit-eating grin, “was planning on doing it inside of you.”
you slapped his stomach, “don’t be disgusting.”
rafe’s grin only grew wider, clearly proud of himself. “just for you, baby,” he teased, sitting up to lean in close again, his lips ghosting over yours as he added in a low whisper, “happy birthday.”
the low timber in his voice and that god-sent southern drawl sent a shiver down your spine, and for a moment, you forgot all about the worst birthday of your life. the way he was looking at you now, like you were the only person in the world that mattered, made everything else seem insignificant.
“you’re lucky you’re hot,” you murmured, kissing him softly, your lips brushing against his with a tenderness that made his heart do that funny thing.
“damn right,” he mumbled against your mouth, kissing you back with more fervor, his hands slipping around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. “gonna make it up to you. all of it.”
you could only tilt your head back slightly as he kissed his way down your neck, your hands fisting in his hair, “i have class at 8.”
“nah,” he breathed against your skin, nose running up your neck, “you’re not leaving this bed for the next twenty-four hours.”
you couldn't help but smile as his lips trailed over your skin, “twenty-four hours?” you repeated breathlessly, your fingers tugging lightly at his hair, your heart fluttering. “you think i’ll skip class for you?”
he grinned against your collarbone, his breath hot and teasing, “know you will,” he murmured, his hands wandering over your sides, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. “i’ll make it worth your while.”
a soft laugh escaped you, "you're so cocky.”
"confident," he corrected with a smirk, lifting his head to meet your gaze. he brushed a stray tear from your cheek, his touch soft despite his rough hands, “i’ll spend the rest of the night making it up to you. making sure you know just how much i love you.”
leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his in a slow, lingering kiss, savoring the taste of him, the feel of him beneath your hands. 
“i love you,” you whispered against his lips, your voice barely a breath, but in that moment, you knew he heard every word.
“i love you more.”
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lucabyte · 5 months
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obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask
also your art is amazing
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Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!
and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...
I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:
This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...
My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.
It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)
The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)
And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.
but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.
Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)
Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.
As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.
Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)
This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)
Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.
Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.
But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.
I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.
*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍
**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....
Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.
And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.
Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?
I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.
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szkunas · 3 months
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KNOCK KNOCK, GUESS WHO! ౨ৎㅤsuguru geto.
synopsis / premise ♱ㅤwhen things in your life go well for a long time, there will undeniably be a problem knocking on your door. this time, the issue is your ex-boyfriend, wanted by the jujutsu society — who is very angry with you, even after he stole your money. || PART ONE (previous)
featuring ♱ㅤsuguru geto (jjk0 / 2017 version) x FEM reader.
warnings ♱ㅤ NSFW ♡︎ ㅤporn with very little plot ! toxic behavior ! suguru (GENOCIDAL man) ! unprotected sex (wrap it up) + unrealistic portraits of sex ! creampie ! reader and gojo are not in a relationship, but mutually interested in each other ! coercion / dub-con (both consent but just to be safe) ! genocide / death mentions (geto) ! stalking and breaking in ! bondage + choking ! spanking ! edging ! obsessed suguru agenda ! delusional suguru (you will see) ! seduction !
honorary mentions (inspirations, please read) ♱ㅤthis ask, by anon! all credits to them, i was not planning a part two, haha. whoever you are, i hope you enjoy it.
author’s note ♱ㅤso, today i was sitting down and thinking “im going to finish that yuta draft and probably start the sukuna draft for the event, since he’s winning the poll”. guess which of these two things I did? exactly. none. so, here is more suguru geto for you. i apologize in advance — i am not good at writing seduction. this is a bit rushed lol. repost because i can't see my post in tags
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THERE IS NOTHING SCARIER than discovering that the person you love most is hiding a dark secret. it could be a lover, a second family, a dark past or a real, rotting present. that’s the feeling you get: everything is rotten. the walls around you and the space are shaped into a molten mist that rots as time passes, as you read the letter that someone slipped under your door.
the highly wanted criminal, suguru geto, was seen in your apartment two weeks ago, as shown in the photos below. we ask for your full and complete cooperation in the investigation, and soon some sorcerers will need to interrogate you. expect their visit at any time and answer the door when the time comes.ㅤ— the higher-ups from jujutsu society.
oh, hell. no. this cannot be happening.
as the procedure says, you burn the letter and get rid of the ashes.
although your situation is absolutely desperate, the secrecy of jujutsu comes before your disastrous love life. you turn to look for your cell phone, and the delay hurts your bones.
it seems like the object disappears when you need it most. when you find the damn phone, you don’t even hesitate. as you type the number that, at this point, your head knows by heart, your hands shake. this cannot be true. they are lying, they are trying to deceive me and defame suguru. but why? why would society need to do this?
of course, mentally, you suppress yourself. and a rational part of your brain — the part that isn’t driven by the love you feel for a man who’s been with you a long time — slowly realizes that this is the truth.
that’s why the disappearances in the middle of the night, the slight disregard for non-sorcerers touching you or him. the preference for privacy and not allowing you to post photos of the two of you together. he doesn’t have social media, he said. it feels very public. what a lie, he was actually a wanted criminal and cult leader.
no one answers the call, and you press the button once again. and again. and again. by the sixth time, you’re not sure if your hands are shaking with fear, disgust, or hate.
your money. your savings, built up after you left the witch life behind. a small guarantee of your future, a future you planned to have with suguru. a future stolen and lost, by the same man who once stole her heart. beautiful black hair and purple eyes really make a girl forget to pay attention to the red flags.
you leave voicemail after voicemail, until the box is full. then, messages. text after text while your fingertips digit furiously. it didn’t take long for you to realize that a response from him would be even worse, so your last messages were simple, direct. do not talk to me anymore. don’t ever appear in front of me again. and don’t you dare involve me in your affairs, you bastard.
pressing the send button through tears was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done in your life. and so, blocking the number seemed like the most sensible solution. it’s not like he would respond, even if you gave the number to the investigators — your exact intention.
so everything went as it should. 39 missed calls, 104 unanswered messages that changed her perspective of him forever, along with a letter that turned to ash, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. your life took a new direction, an unpredictable metamorphosis that made you move to another address after the entire legal process on your part was concluded. you didn’t know, and you had no involvement, as hard as it was to believe. and then the sorcerers left you alone, and this was your second new start to normal life.
lonely and with a betrayed heart, in a new apartment far from your ex. unloading the last box does not bring the relief of releasing a chain, but the pain. the pain of losing something. as if the chain had tied itself to one of your ribs and ripped it away, taking a part of you.
but the tears dry. time passes. the pain diminishes, and the space that takes it in the heart is hatred. you become your priority again, and in time, you rise again only to fall again. one last effort, a call to a certain sorcerer you once knew, satoru gojo. this was his noah’s ark, his last hope before resorting to more desperate methods.
he answered. and since then, a lot has changed.
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it’s been almost ten months since suguru stole your money and trampled on your love and dignity. almost ten months in which you had your heart broken, and you slowly put the pieces back together. now, your latest relationship — it’s not really a relationship.
six weeks ago, you and satoru had sex in your apartment for the first time. since then, he has been very helpful in all aspects of your life and visits you regularly. he takes you on dates and even carried you when his feet got sore from walking. it sounds crazy, feeling so comfortable with someone after just six weeks, but that’s what happens.
gojo is more than an arrogant boy who uses humor in every situation he sees, he has a heart, and a very generous one at that. despite his insistence, the credit card that was entrusted to you is rarely used (and you managed to convince him to change the password, too). his intention was to ask for help, not to become a parasite that will take as much from him as he can. not when he’s a much better person than you expected. a kind of clumsy white knight, in a cute and a bit of a loser way at the same time.
so, of course, the dates have become routine now. cinemas, walks in the park, roller skating, going for ice cream. these experiences stand out in your memories, as sweet as scenes from clichéd romance films. kisses in the rain, desperate hands pushing you into the apartment — maybe this time, you might be able to tease him a little, make him lose it and have you right there, in a dark corner? the idea is exciting, dangerous, and so stupid it makes your heart flutter.
he still owes you a new bed, though. you keep fucking on your couch because you two broke your single bed the last time you did it.
checking yourself in the mirror before a date is, naturally, what everyone does. the red dress that adorns her body is a little short, the kind of thing you see on a seductive movie character. but satoru asked for this tiny — as tiny as the dress, in his words — favor and promised anything you wanted later if you wore that and hung on his arm all night. even when he’s being a pervert, he’s just a guy who’s whipped for you.
the idea makes you take a step back. satoru can’t be in love with you. yeah, okay. he does cute things often. he takes you on dates almost every week. he’s always trying to make you laugh and has already learned most of your quirks, likes and dislikes. he remembers you throughout the day, at random intervals, and buys you things so casually that you had to beg him to stop and not max out his card bill — he just laughed and said it was all cheap anyway. heirs…
but he can’t be in love. it’s all new, recent. perfect, but maybe it’s just hidden by the love fog at the beginning of a relationship. it has already blinded you to bad signals once, and you internally wonder if you are using gojo.
of course, part of you has already thought about it. having sex with your ex’s best friend and solve your financial problems. two birds, one stone. but satoru is everything suguru is not — true. intense and real, without a mask of sweet truth that covered a rotten truth.
honestly, you don’t want to think about it too much right now. this is a conversation that should be between you and satoru, not between you and your intrusive, insecure thoughts. he deserves to know the truth and he deserves to know that you’re just as interested as he is — not on the money, but on him.
a text message makes you smile right after spraying a sweet perfume on your neck. the screen lights up with that contact that has now become your favorite.
toru <3; ㅤ already in the dress? photos or else ill die (seriously)
a small laugh escapes your throat, and you immediately prepare to take a photo. stepping back a little and posing in front of the mirror, you could swear you heard something near your apartment door while simultaneously hearing the soft click of your cell phone.
one pose to show the front, and one for the back, with a soft, evil smile. satoru isn’t your boyfriend, but with his attitude, he could very well be. he looks at you as if you were the only woman in the world, and as if he wanted you forever. it’s beautiful. it’s such a beautiful emotion to see in those blue eyes that you can’t wait for the next time you look.
after texting back, asking what time the movie starts, your eyebrows come together in a frown. omnisity takes over the environment quickly, and you swear your heart stops beating.
this energy— it cannot be.
“hi princess. missed me?”
the whisper in your ear is so sudden that you immediately turn your face to look. a hand grabs your chin and forces your head to turn back to the mirror, and you gasp, immediately struggling.
suguru geto, on the flesh, the greatest traitor to have walked the earth since judas. traitor to the jujutsu society, criminal and mass murderer, and of course — your ex-boyfriend. right behind you, and forcing you to stare at the mirror as his free hand snatches your phone away.
you hit him with your elbow, but he barely moves. humming, as if he is amused. as if you are some game. geto’s hips press forward against yours, and he efficiently traps you between the sink and him.
this cannot be happening.
what suguru doesn’t find amusing, though, is your text messages with satoru. long or short, little flirtations or obvious nudes, these messages are simply something that makes him turn his nose up in disgust. how dare him. how dare satoru take the one thing suguru truly loved that way?
“get off me.” you murmur, your eyes widening. like any sorcerer, you know the basics of defending yourself, but panic runs through your veins like poison. your muscles feel like solid stone, and you can’t stop your breath from hitching when his hand stops cupping your cheek to grab you by the throat.
he’s a criminal who definitely must have had his share of fights. you are a sorceress who has not been in the field for almost ten years. in a real fight? he could drown you in that sink and satoru would only find out hours later.
satoru. the thought makes you immediately ramble.
“don’t you dare lay a hand on me. satoru will—” he squeezes your neck softly, a silent message for you to keep your mouth shut. suguru sighs, annoyed he needs to explain it to you, word by word. he really, really likes you, but he’s not in the mood after all these games.
this small action — squeezing your neck gently — makes you remember old times. old times, not good days. because, although they were good, the memory was effectively corrupted when he left you, almost a year ago.
“satoru will not do a thing. he doesn’t know i’m here, and he won’t know.” a break. “yet.”
your eyebrows shoot up, before your face contorts into confusion. what does he mean, yet? if anyone knows he’s here, he will be executed. why would he risk it, just to see you? is he here to kill you?
the thought brings visible panics into your eyes — the wonderful, pretty eyes you have. the window to your soul. your soul and body, which suguru would like to possess again.
again, what a ridiculous term. he never stopped owning it, in the first place.
maybe if you buy time, satoru will come see what’s taking so long. he will help. you’ll be safe.
but the date is only thirty minutes, and for satoru to come in person, you would have to wait another forty. one hour and ten minutes with your genocidal ex-boyfriend. wow. this must be some kind of twisted lottery of fate, where winning makes you unlucky.
you force your voice to remain calm, composed. he does not deserve the satisfaction of your fear.
“why are you here?”
“oh, look at her.” he mocks, as if you’re not even just there, listening. “asking why i’m here as if she has no idea.”
“i don’t.” you grit your teeth. “this is why people ask, imbecile. they want answers— ugh.” he squeezes your neck again, making you grow quiet until he relaxes.
“darling.” suguru smiles softly, but some veins are popping up on his hand. he is absolutely pissed, using that sweet voice to smooth you. “you know why i’m here. don’t play dumb. you— let satoru touch you.”
his tone is still soft, affectionate as the boyfriend you once called yours. but beneath the sweetness, there is an anger, a possession. like an animal whose territory has been pierced.
“did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he leans in, his hot breath making shivers run down your spine violently. “you underestimate me, my love. i’m a bit offended. coming from you, i expected so much more.”
his hand snakes all over your body, and close as he is, you’re sure he can hear your erratic heartbeat. thump-thump. thump-thump. thump-thump.
like the engine of a machine, accelerated to its limits. if your organs are your gears, you believe you are malfunctioning right now. a poorly functioning machine due to information overload.
it’s a lot to handle. his hands are warm as they gently pull your dress up, groaning. “i barely had to move it away. what, you enjoy dressing like a slut for satoru?”
it seems like your voice only works normally, as it should, when you feel your panties being pulled down, gasping. “suguru, no! you can’t!”
“oh, i can’t? why? c’mon, darling, just the tip.” he throws your phone away — the sound the device makes when it breaks against the wall is blood-curdling. he wraps both his arms around your waist, pressing his hips to yours. “pretty please?”
you grit your teeth. why the hell is this attractive? perhaps it’s because you barely heard geto beg before. but, no. you can’t. satoru, your satoru, he’s waiting for you — instead, you have your freak ex humping slowly against you. no way, is he wearing buddhist attire? like a monk or something. but these thoughts don’t matter. his words take you out of your head.
“i saw everything that day, you know. and a little before, and after that. getting all cozy with satoru, because i’m not here? you offend me, sweetheart. i’m a bit hurt.”
“oh, i’m not hearing this.” you curl your hands into fists, slamming them on his arms. “not after you lied about who you are, stole my damn money, and left! fuck you, geto! fuck. you.”
he smirks against your ear, grabbing your wrists and pulling your arms behind your back. you groaned, and he quickly decided to hit two birds with one stone.
tugging at the clothing strip that holds his robes together, he rips it off and uses it to tie your hands together as you squirm. he gives it a little tug, confirming it’s not too tight, and throws his clothings to the other side of the room.
“i know i haven’t been here.” he pauses, and you can watch him through the mirror as he forces you a bit down. “and i’m sorry. i wanted to tell you, i did. but i couldn’t. i know what you would think, and— i couldn’t lose you.”
it’s like a sincere admission, but you’re not foolish enough to feel sorry. not for him, definitely. throwing salt at the wound is your strategy right now.
“you lost me anyway. y’know, satoru really has a way with backshots that—” your words are cut off by a gasp, when he rips your panties off you and holds you down by the back of your neck. your back does a pretty arch for him like that, but suguru is not nearly amused enough.
“don’t be a brat. i made mistakes, but you, too. whoring yourself for my best friend? are you kidding me, love?”
“i’m not your love, don’t call me that.” he grabs you by the hair, tugging your head back up to look at his eyes through his reflection.
a pause, and suguru decided against what he was going to originally say, softening his grip on you.
“i missed you. i did. can’t i show it to you? just a little, baby, please?” he presses his hips into yours a bit more gently, and you can feel it.
his rock-hard erection, rubbing softly against your warm pussy. it makes you shiver and hum against your will. a part of you misses it. nothing wrong with satoru — he’s a great learner for an inexperienced guy — but geto knows just how to blow your back and be soft at the same time. an art satoru hasn’t mastered yet.
the idea of doing this to that white haired man who is so good to you — it brings tears to your face. how dare you want to say yes? but also, how could you say no when suguru’s head is rubbing deliciously against your entrance?
you close your eyes in defeat, not able to look at yourself.
“be quick. and don’t ever ask me anything again. you get this— and you disappear from my sight. forever.”
a deal with the devil. sacrifice something and gain something. your body for peace.
he chuckles, throwing his head back with a smirk. “oh, you and i both know that’s not happening, sweetheart. i’ll be here, forever.” he slips his hands down your waist, grabbing it gently and pushing his cock in.
the feeling is— exquisite. geto could try all he wanted, search in all the world, but he never could find someone like you. your body is almost poisonous — intoxicating is the right word. he just bottomed out and he’s already mixing his thoughts. that’s the effect you have on him.
suguru’s hips start moving at a restless pace, not giving you time to breathe or a warning. he can’t waste time with words, not now. not after being pulled away from you, his beloved, for ten torturous months. just when he was planning to come back and convince you to join his cult — or just grab you and lock you up, whatever —, he found you riding his best friend. sinking down satoru’s cock and making him cream all inside you.
the idea makes him huff, thrusting harder.
and you, under him? with your wrists tied up? well, you’re a mess. you’ll have to try bondage with satoru later, it’ll surely make his cock explode. your eyes widen, and you babble something — what’s wrong with your head? why are you thinking about satoru, then, suguru, then satoru again?
oh, lord above, maybe both at the same time? it’s a fantasy that makes you blush more than what you’re doing right now.
suguru guides your head up again, holding your neck gently.
“what are you thinking about, love? you keep—” he grunts. “clenching down on me.”
“nothing,” you stammer out. okay, there is something seriously wrong with you for enjoying this so much. a moan escapes you before you can stop it. “nngh— satoru!”
his eyes widen at the same time as yours. if your hands weren’t tied up, you would have brought one up to your mouth. the squeezing on your neck is firm, enough to not cut air circulation, but present. surely. the whisper of your name echoes through the bathroom.
“what did you just say?”
he looms over you, blushed cheeks and vulnerable expressions changing all the time, staring at your dumb little face in the mirror. suguru has a soft frown on his face, his eyes wide in horror, and his lips are slightly parted. but there’s a dark shadow oozing off him, a rage that cannot be contained.
he’s hurt. he’s mad.
you try to justify it quickly, to do damage control. “suguru! i said— i said suguru!”
but it’s a little too late for that, and lies only make it worse. he pins you down harder, his hips moving back at a ruthless pace this time. harder, faster — no mercy or trace of the sweet man who used to make love with you as if you were made of glass.
now, he fucks you as if he hates you, he hates your guts.
your moans and whines are muffled by the obscene sounds escaping where your hips meet. plap plap plap, mixed with a softly, slightly wet whisper of some sort. suguru lets go of your waist and brings his hand up.
you gasp when it hits the back of your thigh in a loud smack!
he forces you to look up, breathless as he murmurs.
“start counting.” he groans, harshly. and he smacks you again, right on the ass. he’s hitting so hard that you believe his intention is leaving a red mark — a present for satoru to look at later. and you’re right. his friend knows no boundaries and keeps taking what is his. what choice does he has, unless to mark you up?
smack.
you shiver, trying to squirm away and kick before he pins you down again.
“behave, brat. now start counting.”
smack.
“one—” you moan when his heat hits your sweet spot, huffing. smack. “two.”
“good girl.” smack. smack. smack. “how many is that, princess, mm? ohh, that’s the good pussy i missed so much. so— tight.”
“ngh! three! four! f—five?”
“is that a question, or are you answering me, my love?”
he chuckles meanly, thrusting into you again. you both grunt — near the edge already.
“suguru.” you throw your head back, whimpering. “i’m— i’m gonna—”
“ohh, you’re going to cum? that fast, honey? satoru hasn’t been good enough to you, i see.” he thrusts harder, laughing meanly at the way your eyes widen and tear up. “aww, he can’t treat you like you want. he fucks you like a good girl, i bet. but you want to be fucked like a slut.”
he leans down, peppering your neck with kisses and hearing your deep breaths. “it’s okay. i’m close, too. you have this effect on me, my love.” he grunts again, grabbing your hips. “throw that ass back on me, baby, yeah? yeah, juuuust like that.”
he grabs your chin, forcing you to look up as he presses his lips to yours in a upside down kiss. it would be romantic if it weren’t so possessive, visceral, crude. carnal. desperate.
when your lips part, he grunts and sighs softly, while you’re moaning loudly. nearly at the same time, your orgasms hit you both with everything.
suguru’s thrusts become messy, sloppy, and his skin feels a bit sticky against yours as he fucks himself using your pussy, pushing in ropes of cum to paint your insides.
you let your head fall forward when it’s your turn, squirming and whimpering softly. his forehead would have hit the sink if he weren’t holding you up. some more seconds, to dry out both of your highs. slowly, gently, he pulls out of you, watching the fat drops oozing out of your used hole.
suguru smirks as he undoes your restraints, kissing the back of your neck tenderly and adjusting your dress.
“don’t forget who has you first, mkay? i left a little gift for you and satoru here.” he sighs, sounding a bit sad. “i’ll have to go again, i’m sorry. but i’ll be back soon. don’t miss me too much. just leave your window unlocked, and i’ll be here again.” he grabs your face to turn it again, brushing his lips against yours. “unlocking them is a chore.”
geto leans back, and you shiver, confused. the sound of clothes being adjusted and thrown back into a body makes you turn your head moments after you heard it, still a bit too slow.
and he is gone. as you fix yourself up on your feet, you shiver as the realization hits you hard as a stone. no, no. satoru. no.
you stumble to the corner of the bathroom, picking up your phone. the screen is broken, but a call icon appears. you accept immediately, nearly sobbing.
“hey, senpai,” the nickname is soft coming from his lips. a small joke, playing with an honorific that he does not use with figures he should use. “you’re— a bit late. did something came up, or?”
“satoru.” you sob, and even through the screen, you can feel him tense up. his voice becomes more serious.
“what happened? are you okay? where are you? i’m on my way.” the scraping of a chair can be heard in the background of the call.
“i’m— my apartment. i have something to tell you. we need to talk, seriously, we—”
you shiver, and for some reason, you can picture your ex perfectly — walking proudly, with his nose up, the wind making his black hair flow behind him and cruel, purple eyes accompanied by a soft smirk.
“i made a mistake.”
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ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES.ㅤthank you for reading! <3
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thurio-edau · 5 months
Text
SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS
yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so
also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-
Part 2: Aiden Clark
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ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.
first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.
the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here
disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.
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let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.
you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it
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(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)
but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all
alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.
I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.
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I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.
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now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.
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i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job
he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.
it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.
the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.
insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.
unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.
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and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.
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and it irritates Tyler, too.
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the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.
this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.
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I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.
he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.
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she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.
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felt that honestly
and Aiden understands her that night, too.
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Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.
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seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.
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Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,
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because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.
anyways then Tyler fucking dies
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he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,
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really,
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really surprised when she responds.
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also including this pannel cause its hilarious
here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH
also other small things to include
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he's yapping a lot
he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip
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and sticks his head into lamps for some reason
but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.
now the part I wanted to get to the most.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?
shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.
one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.
now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?
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borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.
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Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.
but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.
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right?
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cause it didn't.
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it never works that way.
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but it can get better.
eventually.
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but what happened to him?
personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.
there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.
what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.
one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.
it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so
which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.
and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)
...and i should sleep. really.
(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)
(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)
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autumnscribbles · 8 months
Text
secret pt.2 | c.f
summary: y/n decides she needs to come clean to her sister about her relationship with Conrad.
word count: 900 ish
a/n: IM BACK!!! feels so good to be writing again i’m sorry this took so long! some people asked to be tagged in part 2:
@maybankslover @maybankprincess @lonelywitchv2 @fangirl-dork @gulphulp (thank you guys so much for the support ily)
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——-
You stumbled down the stairs, bare footed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you entered the kitchen. You grinned when you noticed Jeremiah cooking pancakes on the stove.
“Since when do you cook?” you laughed, leaning against the kitchen island as you watched him.
“About since you were in love with Conrad,” he winked.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you blushed as you tossed a grape from the table at his head.
“Oh, sweet y/n, of course I do,” he grinned over his shoulder. “She doesn’t have a claim on him, you know.”
“I know,” you sighed heavily. “But you know how she feels about him, Jer, she’d hate me forever.”
You wanted to confide in Jeremiah about what was going on, but then Belly suddenly stepped into the room. Your heart sank slightly at the sight of her, knowing what you were doing to her was wrong.
Not a day went by where you didn’t consider ending things with Conrad just so you didn’t have to hurt your little sister. Despite this, you couldn’t let him go. You knew you couldn’t keep living like this, you either had to tell Belly soon, or end things with Conrad.
~
You laid on your bed, your skin soft from the salt of the ocean. You rested your eyes gently, basking in that feeling of relaxation when you lie down after a day at the beach. You were startled by a slight knock on your door frame. You opened your eyes to see Conrad, smiling at you sweetly.
“Good swim?,” he asked, noting how comfortable you looked.
You nodded sleepily and sat up, patting the bed for him to sit down.
“I think I have to tell Belly, like, today,” you told him, already dreading it.
“You’re probably right,” he agreed, grabbing your hand gently. “Do you want me to be there with you?”
“No,” you groaned. “She’s my sister, I should be the one to tell her.”
Conrad wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer and pressing his lips to your forehead. He knew you were anxious, but that he couldn’t mend the situation.
“She loves you,” he reassured. “Even if she’s upset, she’ll come around.”
~
You looked out your window and saw Belly sitting at the edge of the pool. You knew this was your chance, and you needed to stop putting it off.
You went outside to meet her, taking a second to breathe in the cool night breeze. You could do this.
“Hey, Bells,” you said cheerfully as you sat next to her, putting your bare feet into the water.
“Hey,” she smiled. “What’s up?”
“I, uh,” you started. “I have to talk to you about something.”
“Okaaaaay?” she sang, raising her eyebrows up at you tentatively.
“So,” you breathed. “Conrad and I have sort of been…seeing each other since the beginning of the summer.”
You couldn’t look in her eyes, your gaze rested on the pool. You tried to let the subtle waves and the reflection of the moon comfort you.
“What does that mean?” Belly asked.
“We’re dating, Belly,” you confessed. “I was scared to tell you because I know you like him too, but it just sort of happened. I really, really like him.”
Belly’s eyebrows went from raised to furrowed, as if she was trying to make sense of what you just told her.
“Are you doing this on purpose? To hurt me or get back at me for something?” she accused.
“What? No! I would never do that to you,” you defended yourself.
“You know I’ve loved him my whole life, y/n,” she cried, voice raised. “Out of everyone, why does it have to be him?”
“Belly,” you sighed. “Please don’t do this. It just happened, okay? I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Well, you are,” she deadpanned.
You were trying to stay calm, be the rational one. You weren’t trying to hurt her more, or make things worse. Despite the fact you were frustrated with her immaturity, you were determined to be the bigger person.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “But Conrad and I are together, you’ll have to accept it. Trust me I thought about ending it because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Then why didn’t you?” she yelled, startling you.
“Because I love him, okay?” you exclaimed. “I’m stupidly in love with him, and I can’t just throw that away.”
Belly’s face softened, and it gave you a glimmer of hope. You knew she adored a good love story.
“You are?” she asked.
“I am,” you confirmed. “It’s not just a fling, I wouldn’t do this if it was.”
“I guess I can’t come in the way of love,” Belly admitted, reaching her hand over to rest it over yours. The pavement around the pool was cold, but Belly’s hand was warm and comforting.
“I love you, Bells,” you told her. “You know that. If you’ll hate me forever, I won’t be with him.”
“I can’t do that to you,” she said, shaking her head. “You deserve an epic romance, and if Conrad’s the guy, I just have to accept that. Maybe it was always you that was meant to be with him, not me.”
“Ever thought about Jer,” you smirked, nudging her with your shoulder.
“Shut up,” she laughed. “Or I’ll throw you in the pool.”
“Only if you join me,” you teased, before you grabbed her hand and pulled her in with you, both of you squealing as the water hit your bodies.
“We’re okay?” you asked, wiping the water from your eyes.
“We’re okay,” she smiled. “Now go kiss your boyfriend.”
“Race you inside!” you screamed as you climbed out quickly, her screams of protest behind you.
The sound of her laugh in the summer air made you feel whole. You knew things were going to be okay now.
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persefolli · 1 year
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𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐍𝐞𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐢
𝐩𝐭. 𝟑 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐚
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐢 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @seashelldom,@neteyamforlife, @shadowmoonlight0604, @arminsgfloll,@avatar4life,@jackiehollander,@theblukit2,@ demonic-black-queen, @dazecrea,@briasasinthewind,@toxicberrie,@zoetrope1997,@go-river-flows, @babyymeme,@ssc7514,@ducks118,@ok-boke,@pfifihannu,@myh3artttt,@graysonmalik2550,@vermillionzombie,@elegantzippercashshoe,@perseny,@papichulo120627,@ruyry,@jxrdxnh,@reallysparklychaos,@navs-bhat,@zoexme, @laylasbunbunny, @urlocalbum12-blog,@defiance749,@cheyehc,@ramdomhoe, @nilrilie,@misscaller06,@oh-no-tia,@rgbsona,@midnightliacr, @cupidddd-d, @strnger ,@depressedriches,@ellabellabus07,@lemonmoonmochi, @newjeansbonnie, @silententhusiastdreamer,@im-in-a-pansexual-panik,@ipang,@libdarkheart, @janelongxox, @stevebuckysdoll
𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭
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“Let me speak with Jake.” You said as soon as the guards came for your daily ration of food. The clan members had separated and locked you up away from Tonowari. 
“No can do.”
“Do you want to make an enemy out of me?”
“You were made an enemy as soon as you stepped foot on forest grounds.” He threw some utensils at your feet and walked off.
You hissed and turned around.
“Mawey Y/n.” You heard Tonowari say in the distance. He was locked up as well, separated from you.
“I'm not going to-!” You began to shout but took in a deep breath.  “This is not right!”
“I am just as confused and angry as you are.”
You huffed and took a seat on the cold cavern ground. Tonowari being grounded in this situation made you see that you were indeed acting irrationally. When your trial occurs you would stand before Jake, and explain to him that it was all a misunderstanding. Honestly, if he didn’t leave you wouldn’t be in this situation.
While you and Tonowari were rotting away in a cell, Jake was strolling around the village, helping some na’vi that needed to be aided. Neytiri had instructed all guards and council members to not notify Jake about the arrest, but Jake already had a gut feeling that something was wrong. 
Why?
The villagers were acting quite strange. As soon as he helped one member of the clan, another issue would arise. This wasn’t him complaining, since he was the Olo’eyktan, but why today of all days. 
“Olo’ekytan!” A young soldier walked up to him. “They have been fed for the day.”
“Who’s been fed for the day.”
The young warrior's face dropped. “Uh..the direhorses.” 
Jake stared at the warriors as he chuckled nervously and scurried away. Jake stood still for a few moments, determining if that interaction should confirm his suspicions that everyone was acting strange. 
He knew he couldn’t ask Neytiri, he didn’t trust her. That meant he would have to figure this out on his own. 
---
On another part of the mountains, Neytriri stood pacing in an area as a clan leader watched. She had both you and Tonowari in her custody, yet she was anxious. She didn’t think this out thoroughly enough. 
Ignoring the invitation to the clan meeting just wasn’t enough to keep you two, and it certainly wouldn’t be smart to kill you. 
She didn’t want to hurt you guys, she just wanted Jake to forget. He stayed on Pandora because of her, so how come you and Tonowari got the happy ending with him?
“I can’t let them go, that would just start an even bigger war.”
“We were supposed to put them on trial, Neytiri.”
“Jake is supposed to be present for stuff like that!” She seethes. “He can’t even know they’re here.”
The clan leader sighed, clearly beginning to get irritated with Neytiri's back and forth with the whole situation. She was so determined to bring the two of you down, now that it happened, she was having second thoughts. 
“I have an idea….but this may not go the way you think.” The clan leader spoke up,
Neytiri looked at him, before nodding. 
---
You were woken up at night. Waking to see navi warriors holding torches and inching closer, one of them holding wrist ties.
You allowed them to tie your wrists tightly, and yank you into the open cavern. You saw Tonowari already standing there, looking ashamed once making eye contact with you. It wasn’t often you saw him vulnerable like this, and you knew he felt defeated for not being able to protect you. You mouthed the words ‘I love you’ before being shoved forward and guided by some na’vi warriors. 
They escorted you two down the mountains, touching down in the forest before stopping at an opening. 
Neytiri emerged, wearing her war paint. She had her bow slung across her body and the basket of arrows on her shoulder.
“Neytiri-” You began, but she hissed, intending to shut you up, but you did the opposite. 
“I beg of you. I don’t know what I have done to offend you, but I ask of you to release Tonowari. The Metkayina need him.”
“No-” Tonowari stepped forward, causing the na’vi to hoot and stop him by crossing two spears to block his path. 
“Tonowari I need you to stop being noble for once and let me handle this!” You snapped. You didn’t mean to be so harsh about it, but this was a stressful situation for the both of you, and for once you wanted Tonowari to be selfish and put himself first.
“Please. Tsahik to Tsahik. Let him go.” You watched as Neytiri’s face contorted. Uh Oh. You had forgotten that her mother was still alive, so she was not yet Tsahik. It was an insult.
“We’re taking both of you. No loose ends.” Is all she said.
Your heart dropped. They weren’t gonna let either one of you go, and it would only be a matter of time before the situation escalates and a possible war outbreak.
They nudged you forward, prompting you to walk a few feet behind your husband. They had the two of you walking for what seemed like hours, and the terrain became less and less recognizable the further you got. 
The trees became less voluptuous and the ground looked dryer. The grass began to disappear and loud booms echoed from in front of you. After a few more steps, everyone halted. You leaned to the side, looking past Tonowari and gasping at the sight.
Sky People.
Large and heavy machinery rolled around as it seemed like they were building something. Everything was metal, and dirty.
Neytiri took a large breath, and looked towards the clan leader she had discussed earlier.
“There’s no turning back.” He said.
Neytiri nodded and marched forward, you, Tonowari, and the rest of the warriors in tow.
It seemed that the Sky People were fascinated at the entrance, stopping what they were doing to watch the parade of na’vi. You all headed to the large building that rested in front of you. It made you anxious, shivers running through your veins. You wanted Tonowari, you needed him, to be in his arms, but unfortunately he was as stuck as you.
At the entrance, a woman in military gear and a mask stood next to a tall na’vi man in military gear. 
You watched your husband tense in front of you.
“Well if it isn’t the man who speared half my crew.” The na’vi said with a toothy grin.
“I’ll do it ten times over if I have to.” Tonowari said darkly.
“Save it ... .I see you brought your wife.” He said smiling, a country accent seeping through. He walked past Tonowari and leaned down to face you.
“Nice to meet ya, i’m an old friend of your buddy here.” He nodded towards Neytiri.
“She is no buddy of mine.”
“Oh!” He said surprised. “Well I'm sure me and you will get quite acquainted, we have some history between me and your dear husband.”
“And who do you think you are?!”
“Miles. Miles Quaritch.”
 ----
Jake sat in his home alone, holding a pen and some paper. He was writing again, to you, and Tonowari. It would upset Neytiri, but he missed the both of you dearly.
He’s felt a weight on his shoulders the past few days. Neytiri was vague with him, and the visiting clan leaders seemed tight-lipped.
It was only safe to assume she was having an affair,
Jake wiggled his hand, looking down at the pathetic excuse of an apology that was written in front of him. He was determined to finish this letter tonight, and he was going to send it to you. He didn’t need a response from you, but if he knew you got it, he would be content for the time being.
As he sat, he became uncomfortable with the silence. There were far too many things that were nagging at him. He decided to get up and nip that eerie feeling in his stomach, exiting his home.
First he had to find that young warrior, the one who looked especially nervous to talk to him a few days ago.
It didn’t take long to find the young warrior, seeing him standing on the outskirts of the village, attentive, seemingly on the lookout. His eyes widened seeing Jake approach, gulping and avoiding eye contact. 
“Show me those direhorses you fed.”
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𝐀/𝐧: 𝐏𝐭. 𝟒 (𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭) 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨
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frogserotonin · 5 months
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overthinker- lars pinfield x reader
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a/n: short one bc im still in a slump rn many sorries. also sorry lawl this fic is so disconjointed and i’m really unhappy with it but whatever 😭 warnings: nothin proper i don’t think, most ooc lars to ever ooc, unedited; tell me if i've spelt smth wrong 😁
“Would you want to go out to get some lunch together on our break?” Your fingertips bounce off of the sides of your legs as you try to remain composed. You're so high-strung right now, you almost expect him to laugh in your face. Nerves and the effects of having slept a fitful two hours last night override your usually rational brain and you feel the need to just run away without receiving an answer bloom in your chest.
“I thought you usually brought lunch? If you forgot to bring some you can have some of mine, if you want.” Lars doesn’t even look up from what he’s working on, just adjusts his glasses and uses a vague jut of his elbow to point to his locker, where you know his bag is. Your heart simultaneously drops and stutters. 
“Oh, it’s okay, I just felt like going out to eat, thank you though.” You try to make your words seem more upbeat than you feel, unsure of whether or not to take his words as a rejection.
“Oh. Okay then.” It must be your imagination, but his words hold a hint of disappointment. You open your mouth again, then close it, and silence re-envelopes the room. Turning, you make your way to your desk and begin to work away, dejection slumping your shoulders forward and making time drag on. When eventually the lunch break arrives, you grab your bag and rush your way out of the lab.
A squeak of shoes on the concrete floor behind you almost has you looking back, but your brain is so addled you almost believe you’ve made it up.
Like a fool, you don't talk to him when you come back, or when you leave, the time you spend alone and in silence building up an anxiety in the back of your mind. The idea that he's all too aware of your feelings, and is made uncomfortable by them and your advances overtakes you completely. That night, you stay awake, tossing and turning, over analysing every interaction you've ever had with him, trying to make sure you've not overstepped and made a complete and utter fool of yourself.
In the morning, you consider it a miracle you leave the house at all, with how tired you are. The thought of calling in sick crosses your mind, but by the time you get up your body automatically locks itself into its usual routine, and you mindlessly get dressed and make your way to the Ghostbusters facilities. Through your drowsiness, the realisation that you’re at your desk and doing absolutely nothing sets in and you jolt. 
“Good morning.” If he didn’t sound so concerned, Lars would sound thoroughly amused. “You alright? Look a bit…off.” Your face flares, and you go to stand up, only to stumble and almost fall on your face. Hands out, you stabilise yourself, and then face him.
“Yeah. Morning.” You can only hope that he backs off, because his concern seems too genuine for your feelings to not expand exponentially the more he stands before you looking like he cares. “M’feeling just peachy, you?.” Belatedly, you realise your words are clearly not convincing because he doesn’t move an inch, simply studying you. He then sighs and shakes his head, chuckling a little bit, just softly under his breath, taking a couple steps closer to you. 
“When’s the last time you slept?” His voice is too gentle, too un-Lars-like, that you’re almost convinced you actually did fall asleep last night, and now you’re dreaming. You open your mouth to respond, but find yourself nodding off as you do so, the last thing you process before fully passing out is the feeling of arms around your chest and shoulders. 
When you come to, you sit up quickly, and slowly become aware of what had happened. Muttering cursing to yourself under your breath, you take in your surroundings, finding yourself slung over the small couch situated in the room reserved for taking time off from work briefly. Hurriedly, you rush out of the room towards where you assume Lars is working, apology already on the tip of your tongue. You approach him quickly and loudly, a fact that can be gathered from his head immediately snapping up when you enter the room. He starts to speak, no doubt to rattle off reasons why you were irresponsible and stupid for coming to work while being aware you weren’t at your fullest capacity, but you cut him off.
“God, I’m so sorry. That was humiliating, and I’m so, so sorry that it happened, it won’t happen again.” You bow your head, refusing to look him in the eye, but quickly look up again when you hear him laugh. 
“It’s fine, really, you just scared me a little bit.” His smile is small, but sincere and you remember fully the reason you were in the predicament in the first place. “Are you feeling better now?” 
You probably look a bit crazy with how vigorously you nod, but you barely care anymore. 
“Yes, thank you so much, really, I’m sorry that it happened.” He laughs again, and it sounds like heaven.
“You don’t need to thank me or apologise,” Lars’ eyes sparkle a bit behind his glasses when he properly smiles, and you can feel warmth rush to your face. He hesitates, like he’s calculating his words, then gently says “I-uh. I care for you a lot, it really meant nothing for me to make sure you were okay.”
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malwaredykes · 2 months
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the untapped Enemy Of The State Potential is one of boones best funniest traits tbh like ok since im in charge of Awesome Flawless FNV Remake Available Exclusively On My Beautiful Mind im rewriting boones personal #journey arc primarily by expanding on it because i mean yeah fatalistic thinking and the question of agency vs authority and having to live with having done something inexcusable and The Denying Of Closure are good themes but to me theyre not enough here. that lack of closure about something that really intrinsically can never entertain the idea of closure is all well and good, but... lets keep going lets put a pin in that. lets turn once again to boones potential for becoming wanted by the ncr government. boone i know you want to go apeshit. its time to admit that its always been about the system youd been conditioned into never questioning and which you continued to mentally cling to as you felt there was no other purpose or direction to your existence in the wake of all the disastrous events in your life. but its time to develop a grasp on your agency as a human being boone. and yes some of that is going to make you feel worse because, Well. The Complicity. bitter springs. but you know what, it is also freeing and the right thing to do. release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin. youre already there just look around you. youve cut the ropes that held you back, now its time to rip and shred the ropes that still are wrapped around you. its there. youve physically gotten out. and its time to evolve. "now if iiiiii were to assassinate the president 🤔" i know you want to. im not saying you should but i know youve thought about it before. "guess that settler was well-connected" yes isnt that fucked up i know you think thats fucked up. and oh your friend the courier just did something fucked up at mccarran and all these ncr soldiers and staff are trying to shoot them? of course its the courier youre defending when faced with the immediate choice i mean if its between "fuck the ncr. die" and "fuck the person im ride or die for because theyre a force of destiny that entered my life to change it one way or another and now i care about them deeply. die" well of course youre choosing the path of Leave My FACKING FRIEND Alone You Beasts. but of course the situation doesnt have to be this immediately dire. it doesnt have to stem from an immediate danger to your new object of loyalty. we dont have to let it go down this particular route. no need to have something this drastic happen. you can reach this conclusion simply by giving into the desire youve repressed for years to go apeshit at the ncr government and every arm of its hegemony. that bubbling rage? that "if i let this fester inside me im gonna do a fucking murder-suicide about it"? that in a certain timeline you do in fact end up doing a murder-suicide about? thats not just hateful desperation. thats a feeling, hitherto bottled up and unrefined and volatile, that you should allow to breathe and photosynthesize and grow into something beautiful and true and let it blossom and bear fruit. boone, there is no need to feel alone and helpless and directionless in your unfulfilled desire to cut the umbilical cord.
so. enough rationalizing things as rotten spots and necessary burdens in an otherwise inevitable righteous system, you knowwwww thats pure bullshit. my advice, do some reading. reading is fundamental, and luckily for you, you literally know a very literate anarcho-communist. i can guarantee you that you could walk up to arcade and be like "👉👈 hi gannon soooo i want to get into critiques of capitalism and of the military, and into anarchism and other leftist theory. i want to know about Other Ways to run things. could you give me some recommendations? for books and essays and so on. thanks" and he would be like "boone, yes. Absolutely. yes. i will prepare a reading list for you. gosh." and youll be given a stack of books, with notes and a directory. however, if you two are currently on really bad terms to the point where he doesnt wanna talk to you at all, hey, theres other followers of the apocalypse that would be happy to help. providing education is literally one of their main things. either way, youll finally feel vindicated about things that used to make you feel like you were just going insane. boone you werent going insane you were in fact being onto something. baby that time you saw an ncr military police on the strip facing away from you and there was a loose brick on the ground and it was calling to you like the green goblin mask? that time you were at camp forlorn hope and folks kept saying shit like "that red beret is looking good soldier" and you didnt respond or even look at them because you were focused on containing the urge to grab them by the shoulders and start shrieking? well you see those are actually instincts that tell us you have potential. you have the power to end these patterns. you want to. you need to. thats where you should go. theres a world of ideas waiting for you to tap into and be liberated by. you have nothing to lose but your pitiful pension (you can even keep the beret like who cares). there is so much you can do. its not about allegiance or moral debt or soothing personal guilt, its about doing the right thing. there are so many paths in front of you. also youre trans. like, that one also isnt just you going insane, its real and its right and its you, you are transgender
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 6 months
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Okay, I'll continue talking! So as we all know, RC9GN frequently involves characters being turned into rampaging monsters through no real fault of their own. And then there's Evil Julian, who was a whole thing. What I'm saying is, the Ninja cast are not strangers to the idea of people being forced into evil the way Chase was... but I don't think Chase goes around telling people about his tragic backstory unless he's trying to make a point. So, like, do any of them know Chase is technically under the influence of a mind-altering substance? That he didn't want to be like this, he just didn't want his best friend to leave him behind? Under what circumstances might the First Ninja find out? Under what circumstances might Randy find out?
Of course, what happened to Chase is definitely not the same thing as what happens to people under the Sorcerer's influence. For one, it's a lot more permanent. It's pretty clear in Xiaolin Showdown that Chase is too far gone and can't be cured at this point, if he ever could have been. The only way to stop him from ending a haughty, self-centered dragon would be to stop him from drinking the soup to begin with. And he's still himself on some level. As you said, he still has honor, he can still care, he's still capable of independent rational thought. It seems less like possession and more like very targeted (evil) brain damage. At the same time, this does mean it's technically possible for Chase to turn his back on what he's become. He may never be who he was again, but he can still change, as Omi believes he can. Though jury's out if he believes he can change. Anyway, there's a lot of drama to be wrung out of this, especially if the First Ninja realizes he probably would have liked the man Chase used to be.
Also, I'm just saying, the First Ninja denying that he chained up his evil husband to stop Chase from hurting people while he searches for a cure to the curse that makes Chase evil would be very funny.
OKAY OW HANG ON LISTEN The idea of First deciding to chain up Chase not just because he is an evil menace, but also in order to find a cure for his transformation, hit me so unexpectedly hard in the feels, like FR DUDE???? OW???
(Even if it is a bit of funny mental image AND the wording 'targeted evil brain damage' made me snort so hard, oh my god im so sorry.)
There is an argument/theory about how technically Chase doesn't need to constantly drink the Soup (based on how in alternative future, captured by Jack, Chase didn't drink it in captivity, and as soon as he was released he was kinda bordering on 'feral' lizard mode - Soup helps him keep in control AND keep ahold of his human form, rather that he is absolutely dependant on it), but he does it because he is, well, basically addicted to it.
SO it would be more of First chaining his Evil Brain Damaged Addict of (totally not a) Husband in order for to find a most likely nonexisting cure to his cursed (????) transformation. The ANGST POTENTIAL of it.
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And your first points are so interesting and absolutely valid! Chase's situation can be compared to Stank-ification, but you know what would make an even more interesting comparison? The Sorcerer himself.
I think we often forget that technically, Sorcerer situation is him being separated from his humanity and twisted into an immortal monster by Chaos Pearls, because he - as the Peddler - made one decision, one mistake, after being seduced by power greater than him. Sounds familiar doesn't it?
Of course there are a few key differences here:
Sorcerer is literally separated with his human self (soul perhaps??) that is trapped in Land of Shadows, while Chase's humanity seems to have been surpressed and/or muted by his Draconic Self. (or perhaps stolen with his soul by Hannibal, which is a popular theory about how exactly Roy Bean/Soup turned Chase.)
Chase's change is permanent. While Sorcerer situation is possible to fix - it literally happens in the finale.
BUT!!! no one actually knew it was possible to fix before. At least no one gave any indication that it was a known fact about Sorcerer's humanity still existing somewhere in Chaos Realm/Land of Shadows.
I'm pretty sure First/Norisu Clan believed that the Sorcerer was a human changed and twisted into an immortal by chaos. Impossible to kill and impossible to return to normal - that's why he was imprisoned. To keep him contained.
I mean, couldn't First Ninja, after capturing The Sorcerer, try to get his human self from the Land of Shadows himself, if he knew? After all he had access to a Chaos Ball! But he didn't know there was anything to be recovered, that the Sorcerer could be actually unmade just by reuniting him with his human half.
(At least thats my personal HC, but im pretty sure the canon show just retconned/fumbled a bit the whole Sorcerer resolution lol.)
SO just imagine. First learns about Chase's past. And he is freaking aghast. Here is another twisted by evil, but while he and his brothers failed to save those changed that they first encountered (the 'killed first stanked monsters' theory tie in!), they managed to save those that came after. And if First could, he would have tried to save The Sorcerer, no matter how much he hates him. But... Chase is different. There is still something of humanity left in him. Perhaps he can save Chase.
And from Chase's pov? He sees how Ninja saved Stanked people, and he doesn't even consider those situations as similar to his. Sure, people are turned into monsters, but he was turned into a monster by his own choice, there is nothing to save him from. (Isn't there?)
But he watches as First releases those people from the clutches of chaos, watches as he tries so hard to save them... And maybe it makes him yearn, that someone tried just a little bit harder to save the 'him' before he made that choice.
And if First cages Chase and says: "I want to help you. To Cure you." It will certainly enrage Chase - because who does this man think he is, tryin to contain and cure THE Heylin Prince of Darkness, like he is some halpless trapped commoner??? He came to be long before this man's Clan existed and he will be there long after this man will become dust.
But also... maybe deep deep deep inside, Chase is... confused? and pleased? - that someone like Fist Ninja grew to care enough for him to try and save him, even if there is nothing to be saved.
So they would be at this standstill, where First is trying to help a cause that isnt quite possible to fix, and Chase is... well, being Chase.
But, yeah, certainly another amazing thought process from you Anon <3, I've been trying to answer this ask for so long, because every time i start to write i get overcome with emotions about those scenarios like...damn. It's funny, but also the possible drama of all of this... hnnnfgggg
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theywantedplayer · 2 years
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“ it’s midnight where the hell were you?” With jamie please?
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When Jamie woke up he reached over to the other-side of the bed to pull you close but when he felt nothing he groaned, just assuming you got up to use the bathroom but when he waited and you didn't come back he sat up in bed.
“Y/n?” He called out but he was met with no response 
He got out of bed and went to the bathroom, he swung open the door, the bathroom was empty. His mind started to race but Jamie was trying to be Rational so he went to check the kitchen but once again it was empty.
He realized you were gone 
Now he was really starting to panic. He ran back to the bedroom and grabbed his phone. The time read 12:09. Where the fuck would you go at midnight alone even. He tried to call you as he frantically searched the apartment, even the closet . Why would you be in the closet? He doesn't know but he was desperate.
“Hey you’ve reached Y/N im unable to get to the phone right now so just leave a message at the beep” 
Fuck Jamie kept trying and trying as he ran into Trevors room shaking him awake
“Trev get up!” He yelled 
“Aww Did Jambo have a bad dream” Trevor joked still 50% asleep “Let me kiss you better” as he reached for his cheeks 
“Trevor I cant find Y/N” Jamie Frantically yelled 
“What?” Trevor respond slowly starting to wake up
“Y/N IS MISSING!” Jamie's voice was surely loud enough to get it threw trevors thick head 
Trevor Started to understand the gravity of the situation as he saw Jamie burst out of his room And back into the kitchen and Trevor quickly followed 
“What do you mean she's missing?” Trevor asked 
“She wasn't here when I woke up and she's gone” Jamie was running his hands threw his hair and pacing around the Apartment living room 
“Did you guys get into a fight?” Trevor asked 
‘NO no we didn't………FUCK I just keep getting her voice mail” jamie was full on panicking at this point 
“Dude take a deep breath, panicking isn't going to help anyone ok?” Trevor tried to help but it was no use 
“How can I take a deep breath right now Trevor because right now It looks like Y/N left me”
‘Dude she didn't leave you” trevor put a on Jamie's shoulder trying to ground him “Let's go down to Parking garage and see if her car is still here ok”
“Ok” jamie responded
Before they could even move the Apartment door opened, the two boys made eye-contact with you 
“What are you guys doing up” you asked “it's like midnight” you placed a bag on the Island counter 
“What are we doing up Its midnight where the hell were you” Jamie Shouted 
You jumped a little at Jamie's voice and tone. You didn't know what was wrong.
“What happen you asked” you Assumed something happened because Trevor and Jamie were both up in the middle of the night looking frantic 
“What happened?” Jamie yelled again “what happened was I woke up to an empty bed and you were gone, you left in the middle of the damn night! Do you know how worried I was”
“How worried we were” Trevor Corrected “Where did you even go?”
“I went to the gas station and picked up some advil because we ran out and I had a bad headache” You whispered pulling it out of the bag
“You could have woken me up I would have gone with you” Jamie Sighed 
“You had a Tiring day I thought you needed rest” You tried to explain 
“Then wake Trevor up next time” Jamie Suggested
“I totally be down to go with you next time” Trevor said as he patted Jamie on the back realizing he wasn’t needed in this conversation and said “i'm going to go back to bed if that's okay with you guys”
“Yea sure Goodnight man” Jamie waved off
“ Goodnight trev ” You said
Leaving just you and Jamie he walked over to you
“I know i know  I'm sorry I should have told you” You said  fiddling with your fingers
“ do you have any idea how worried I was” he said pulling you into a hug by the waist “ I thought you left me”
“Aww Jamie I would never leave you” You comforted placing our hands on his cheeks 
“Why didn't you pick up your phone I called you like a million times” he asked
“At 9pm it going on silent” you answered 
“As of today you turn that off” He told you 
“OK again i'm sorry I feel really bad” you said looking up at him 
“You can make it up by Sleeping in with me tomorrow” he laughed as you walked back to your shared bedroom 
“Punishment fits the crime Drysdale” 
All night Jamie didn't let go of you once 
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poichanchan · 2 years
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Hiii, someone relatively new to the phandom having just played through p5r, but can I ask how the swap au premise works? I'm curious what your own takes might be on how the situations for both joker and akechi happened to lead for them to be on opposite sides in comparison to the game! I tried to look it up a bit, but there's a lot of different headcanons, but I love your concepts so much I wanted to see if you had any particular thoughts on the setting :3
Hiiiii welcome to p5 brainrot jail haha! (genuinely though, welcome and im happy you enjoyed p5r!) Everyone has their take on swapAU, I specifically wanted to play with the idea of Goro and Akira swapping their ROLES ONLY.
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In my AU Goro Akechi is still the son of Shido who is largely out of his life. Goro's life is a mess, his moms in rehab, and he is sent to Tokyo on probation (to his mother's friend Muhen the owner of JazzJin). I've adjusted Goro's life just enough to have him keep his childish love for justice. He finds his found family in the PT. Goro is a Snarky, whole, intelligent, a little mean, energetic, gets flustered, but also is passive and observant when he needs to be. HIS ROUGH LIFE MADE HIM GRUFF AND HONEST BUT HE ISNT JADED. Akira hates how shallow and transactional his life is. He has his awakening, ends up on Shido's radar via the research group he has in place to explore and exploit the metaverse. Akira's parents probably work around the research team somewhere and didn't think too hard about what they were getting their son into... a mix of negligence and wanting to get more opportunities as a family/bootlick. From there he has his forced 2nd awakening and gets ensnared in Shido's conspiracy. There is a lot of resentment in his life because of this, and when he is faced with Goro's existence, the literal SON OF SHIDO WHO HAS THE SAME POWERS yet life turned out so different for him because their roles are swapped its terrible. Akira is also very good at adapting to who he talks to like in canon. He is good at socializing and charming, thus the detective prince facade becomes a thing to help him gain access to deeper levels of mementos blah blah blah
Akira is also rationalizing a lot, he is seeing himself weeding corrupt people out, a hero getting hands dirty and sacrificing self for greater good. The metaverse is his stage. And he is THE showman. Detective prince Akira is more sweeping/showy/charismatic/flirty, his joker vibe comes through more normally. APART from the resentment Akira has for seeing Goro live his life the way he does, the resounding ITS NOT FAIR he feels in his heart, he also reeeeeally want the stupid phantom thieves to 'cherish your normalcy. stop messing with my plan. how fucking naive do you have to be to think THIS is justice?' COLD SEETHING FOCUSED FURY FROM AKIRA Its such a mess lol But i think hit Akira in the places that would make him play out the detective prince and Black mask bits without losing too much of his own flavor. His rationalizing is important, otherwise i felt he would feel the moral conflict harder and withdraw instead of being showy and sweeping. Also for their social links i have thoughts, i think detective Akira's special place would not be... jazzjin. I think he would drop by like canon Akechi drops by Leblanc, but nothing more. I have in mind a place up high at a height, something like the Shibuya Sky observation deck as a place he personally visits often to reflect and stare at the massive view of the city from. It felt right to have him up there looking down alone but comforted by it. Plus eventually share the view with Goro who he sees as this actual fated rival for all the reasons above. Their outfits are the way they are because i did not want to change them too severely in colorpallette or essence but wanted to play up some parts of their personality and represent it in the outfits. AND BECAUSE THIS IS A SHUAKESHU BLOG I NEED TO STRESS THAT because they are less jaded, because Akira is bolder and flirtier and Goro is more stubbornly optimistic about this dark world akira sees, they get closer alot faster, which makes the whole black mask and interrogation room bit very messy/
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added pix to make post spicier THIS IS A MASSIVE POST BUT IM GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I DUMPED MY THOUGHTS IN ONE PLACE FINALLY. there are some other things ive thought out a tiny bit, like hobbies etc but i put them down later when ive developed it more etc @ anyone reading, thank u for reading and these are my personal thoughts i am thingying to entertain myself!!!!! dont be mean to me thanks ;v;
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mistydeyes · 1 year
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Hi! Im totally in love with your fics and I was wondering if you could do a Ghost x Fem Reader and It would be him discovering that the reader has some sort of fire powers? I've had Borderlands brainrot for a while now and I've always wanted to know how he'd react to the reader having Phasewalking abilities or something 😭 If its a little too complicated I'll understand!
Again, love your work!
OMG Y E S this is such a good request!! like i've never read anything like this so i hope I did it justice! and fr borderlands is such a fun game, i wanna be a siren so bad haha
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summary: Fire was always beautiful to you. Despite the destruction it caused a forest, it allowed for growth and new life. It somehow found you throughout life but now your hidden ability to control it is tested when you and Simon are put in a dangerous situation.
pairing: simon "ghost" riley x fem!reader
warnings: swearing, descriptions of violence/fire
a/n: okay let's pretend that it's not an immediate red flag and threat of death to have powers and ghost doesn't call the authorities on your ass
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You never planned to reveal your inhuman talents to Simon. Even as a child, your parents warned you of the dangers of starting fires with your fingertips and would often gift you gloves lined with fire-retardant material. You had gone through your adult life with relative normalcy but dating Simon had been accompanied by a few close calls. From him almost catching you lighting a candle to you secretly diverting a growing flame away from the uncontrollable campfire, you held your breath and prayed he was blind to the event. You were resolved to using your powers to keep you safe (and to help with the occasional candle or stove for convenience's sake) but now you were being put to the test.
Your eyes and nose stung as Simon shook you awake. The room felt hot and you struggled to breathe in the smoggy air. "We have to get out of here," he yelled, trying to suppress a cough. You looked around and saw the bedroom door beginning to be engulfed by the sickly crackle of golden flames. "What's happening?" you asked as he pulled you close to the ground. "Not sure, I think the whole row is on fire," he weakly said, pulling you closer to the window. You bit your tongue as you continued slowly. Internally, you rationalized suppressing your powers as you knew a fire escape was on the other side of the window pane. "Just climb down," Simon directed, hoisting the window open but he swore upon looking down. "Fuck," he cursed lowly and you poked your head over to see the collapsed metal of the ladder on the ground.
He pulled you back on the ground as his mind raced with possibilities of escape. The room's temperature was building and you could see the semblance of scarlet and orange flames break through the door and heat the wall. Your mind was clouded as you debated on the quandary that was your current situation. "Simon," you whispered, holding his face in your hands, "follow me." Before he could object, you pulled on his wrist and began to make your way to the door. He tried to hold you back, screaming obscenities about your crazed attitude. You silenced him by moving the fire away through the door and decreasing the heat of the glowing red door knob. "Did-did you just-" Simon began to say and you responded by yanking the door open.
"I'll explain later," you continued and placed him behind you. He held his disbelief as he watched you move the vibrant flames and put them out with a small brush of your hand. It was as if fire bowed to your command and Simon tried to rationalize your actions. You eventually reached the entrance of the flat which was blocked by a wall of fire and ash. You closed your eyes, manipulating the surrounding heat and allowing you to run out. As the fire and rescue services rushed to your aid and placed you in an ambulance, you couldn't help but notice the nondescript look on Simon's face. "I'll tell you later," you mouthed to him, before closing your fist and sitting down for your medical examination.
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happy-beeeps · 1 year
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for the prompt list you just reblogged, what about "i didn't sign up for this" with either obi-wan kenobi or the bad batcher of your choice?
I’m on the run (with you my sweet love)
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Pairing: obi-wan x reader
WC: 1.2k
Summary: after hearing that obi-wan is living in exile, you do your best to find him, determined to live out your lives together as you’d dreamed.
Suggested listening: Chemtrails over the country club by Lana Del Rey
A/N: IM SO BAD AT ANSWERING OH MY GOD. Thank you for the request I’m so excited!!! tbh, I struggled with this so hard because I physically cannot give Obi-Wan an angsty situation but we made it work hehehe. Obi-Wan is both my fav Star Wars man (which surprises people sometimes) and one of the characters I write the least, so this was SO fun! Sorry it’s so short, but I plan on writing much more for him soon!❤️🫶🥰
The house was small, really just a small kitchenette and living space with a bed nook off to the side. Like all houses in the dune sea, it was low in the ground, slatted windows up high on the walls to offer light with as little heat as possible. You wouldn’t call it nice by any means, not compared to what you’ve lived in before, but it had a certain coziness that had excited you. You had flushed out your credits just as soon as Bail had told you of Obi-Wan’s exile, and gotten yourself on the first ship to Mos Eisley that you could. The house had been easy enough to find, there were plenty of people in Mos Eisley eager to sell property to someone, particularly when that someone came with a sack of credits.
The hard part was finding Obi-Wan.
You spent the morning in the center of Mos Eisley, gathering supplies and what small furnishings you could transport for your new home, listening intently for anything. Any word of a newcomer, any whispers of the fall of the Jedi. Unfortunately (or fortunately) no one said anything.
Beru and Owen were the obvious next choice, and they came with much greater information than you had anticipated. You hadn’t met Anakin’s brother and sister-in-law before, but you had seen holos of them during your nights in with Padmé. Owen had been… reluctant to talk to you, but Beru had quickly pointed you in the direction of the cave Obi-Wan had been hiding out in the past few rotations, not terribly far from your home or the Larrs homestead.
Which is how you found yourself here, at the mouth of a cave, a fabric shawl draped carefully over your shoulders to protect as much of you as possible from the blazing Tatooine suns.
It was easy to walk into, and the dark walls and open space gave the whole space a chill in the air that hung itself uncomfortably around your shoulders. He wasn’t here, but there were signs of him present. A rucksack with some rations and credits, his robes and tunic–carefully folded in a pile resting on a large stone, and a small lamp. You ran your hands down the soft fabric of the robe, before picking it up and bringing it close to you. It smelled just like him, and for the first moment in what felt like a millenia, you let yourself ache in your chest. You had missed him something awful, worried something awful. When Padmé had explained what had happened, what he would have to do, you had feared the worst.
When none of them came back, you had all but accepted it.
“Don’t move.”
The voice that came from the cave mouth was cold and cautious, strong and intimidating. It was also home.
“Ben,” you whispered, using the nickname you had given him some night who knows how many moons ago, hoping to show him you were you. You were here.
You removed the shawl slowly as he stepped out of the mouth of the cave, his form no longer silhouetted against the blinding sun. His hair was looking slightly ragged, the tunic he wore now hung awkwardly on his frame–it must’ve been a loan from Owen you decided.
“Is it really you?” he asked, walking up to you cautiously, moving slowly as if you were made of mist that would simply vanish if he got too close. The sun had already begun to bring out even more freckles across his skin, growing ruddy with exposure.
“I’m here to take you home with me,” you murmured, closing the gap between the two of you and pulling him close to you, one hand cradling the back of his head while he pressed soft kisses into the crook of your neck.
“You can’t, I have to stay here. I can’t return to Coruscant with you.”
You pulled back for a moment, brushing the hair away from his face, “who said anything about Coruscant?” Before he could answer, you pressed your lips to his, capturing him in a kiss meant to soothe yourself and reassure him. He was alive. You were here. The rest you could figure out together.
* * *
You hadn’t said much on the walk back to your home, hadn’t been able to. Obi-Wan refused to let go of you, his hand lingering on a spot on your body at any moment. It was as if he was finally allowing himself these open, semi-public touches at last, though you knew the price of this freedom had been costly.
When you approached your home, you led him down to the living quarters and quickly worked at getting a small iced tea ready while he settled in. Well, attempted to settle.
“You bought this? Here?”
“You think I’d rent? In this economy?” You scoffed, and he gave you a lighthearted smile in return as you guided him towards the small sofa in the middle of the room. “I’ve only been here a few rotations, been looking for you,” you moved to settle beside him, knees clinking into one another with a familiarity you had been longing for. “You’re a hard man to find Master Kenobi.”
“I didn’t realize you’d be looking,” he reached over to place a hand on your cheek, steadying himself against you for a moment. It had taken you the better part of the afternoon to get from the cave to your home, and your living room was now painted in the orange and magenta hues of the setting suns, low light making him look even softer than you had imagined. “To be quite honest, I feared you’d assumed the worst.”
“Then you don’t know me at all.”
He pulled your head closer to him, bringing his forehead to yours in a sweet, intimate gesture. “I cannot put you in danger, I will not. You’re a senator, you cannot give up your life for me. You didn’t sign up for this.”
“I’m more than just a senator you know,” you breathed, your eyes fluttering open to look into his while his breath hitched in his throat, “as per that night on Chandrila, I’m your wife. You think I don’t want to be here? That I didn’t sign up for this? I said "till death”, Kenobi, and I meant it.”
“I couldn’t contact you, I’ve had to close myself off to the Force since arriving. I’ve lost so much. I cannot lose you dearest.”
You moved closer to him to bridge the gap between your mouths again, breathing a simple, “you’ll never have to,” as you did. This time you kissed him with the fervor and passion of a woman coming home, and he drank you in like a man lost in a desert. Which, you suppose he was. Here was your Obi-Wan, your Ben, wrapped in your arms and in your home for as long as you’d like. You were free to press yourself against his freckled chest and trace the starlight colored scars across his skin. You could live in the serendipitous bliss of him, his smell of caf and leather and something woody, the kind way he carried himself.
It had cost you both everything, had cost the Republic, but at last you were free to be Obi-Wan Kenobi’s wife in more than just secrecy, your sanctuary guarded by the twin suns of Tatooine.
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