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godasfarasyoureconcerned · 1 year

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this is super long and maybe mostly rambly and idk who will read it but i hope it finds the right audience, or no audience at all haha

izzy haters will say he calls ed slurs and is a racist cop-lover and that he never does anything for ed and then shit on izzy fans for reading between the lines with his character. i don’t get how izzy crit folks will say “ed doesn’t need izzy” or “literally everything izzy does is useless and makes things worse” or “izzy is homophobic and racist and classist. end of story” and then get mad when fans say “izzy is justified sometimes” and “ed loves izzy in some way or else he wouldn’t still be around” like the hypocrisy of getting mad at people for making positive assumptions and generalizations about him while you make negative assumptions and generalizations about him is interesting

there’s a few reasons i completely understand why it’s easier to hate on izzy than anyone else. izzy is the antagonist. hes actively working against all the main characters. but he’s not a villain. he’s driven by selfish motives and his lack of compassion in general makes him difficult to like. i get it. he’s a dick and he’s done some extremely fucked up shit. he’s manipulative and a liar and thinks so highly of himself it’s laughable. but like

i saw someone say “there’s not a single scene where izzy does something good for ed” and like.. that’s not true.. i know izzy goes out of his way to do things that are counteractive to ed’s goals with stede, but when he doesn’t feel the need to counter what ed is doing (whether you think his desire to separate ed and stede is defensible or not is irrelevant here) he does try to do things for ed. of course ed and stede have more scenes together like for as much as izzy fans love him he doesn’t have many lines. and i’m trying not to count anything izzy only says he does (“for years i’ve followed your every whim” and “managed your increasingly erratic moods” and “massaged the crew when they questioned your judgement” etc) since i know he can be an unreliable narrator but like. he’s up giving ed space for his bum knee when they’re about to go on a raid with stede’s crew. he attempts to get ed down from his harness after his performance and stops when ed is questioning his methods and unappreciative of the effort (“the fuck are you doing with your head between my legs” “you think you know everything about everything in the whole fucking world— it’s j— hdhfd”). he offers to kill stede, he literally thinks he’s doing ed a favor. he’s wrong, of course, but that doesn’t mean he’s doing nothing. idk if it’s worth mentioning the deleted scene wherein izzy puts the little purple bow ties in ed’s beard because it didn’t make the cut for time so i’m not sure if it should be counted but c’mon. the writers clearly intended to make izzy the guy who does things for his captain

some folks love to hate on izzy’s abusive behavior but handwave ed’s. “izzy hits people” “izzy shouts at people” “we’ve never seen ed do anything so abusive” like.. we didn’t see it because something (depression, stede) has been stopping him. we pick up on some so-unsubtle-they’re-hard-to-miss hints that blackbeard is abusive before we ever see him in the breakup robe as the revival of the kraken. it’s not stede leaving that creates the kraken. it’s not izzy telling him to stop pining. we as an audience are meant to understand that that’s how he was before he met stede and before he fell out of comfort with the kraken persona. we’re meant to understand he hasn’t been that way since before the narrative. at the end of s1 he has reverted back to his kraken ways, and everyone can see that, both the audience and the people aboard the ship. fang is a dick like we haven’t seen him since his first appearance, izzy even tells them all “blackbeard is himself again” (and some people don’t believes a single word from his mouth but i honestly don’t think he’s smart or socially savvy enough to plan out every interaction to be a lie, nor do i think he’s a compulsive liar) like ed’s been the kraken before, that’s what we’re meant to understand

stede says that piracy is rife with abuse and also that blackbeard is one of the most fearsome pirates ever (i doubt he’d be a fearsome pirate, which are canonically generally abusive, without being such himself), the crew is very aware that he is likely to kill them when they first board (they literally ask if he’s gonna let them live), izzy says making them work before executing them is “the uzhe” to ed so they’re frankly right to think that he might kill them, even fang who is on his crew gets nervous as hell when he thinks blackbeard is about to walk in on him naked with lucius, when in reality ed’s on a party boat pulling his gun out to use against folks who laughed at him. ed also made fang kill his dog, which we don’t see but all of them in the room know what he’s talking about and it’s not a surprise to any of them, it’s just the norm. we see him ask fang to skin that frenchman for calling him a donkey, which is both a disgusting thing to want to happen to somebody, and a disgusting thing to force someone else to do for you because you can’t be bothered. ed even tells stede “love a good maim” like c’mon now don’t tell me he’s never been abusive. of course calico jack brings news of worse behavior, like burning down entire ships, and of a history of being abused by hornigold, which goes to further normalize the idea that ed grew up in an abusive environment and has learned that’s how the world works. and ed admits even more when he himself says that cutting off some bloke’s toe and making him eat it is laughable for him (stede is horrified and ed sounds regretful, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen both in the past and in the future narrative)

i get you can say “hes had a rough past” and “he’s better with stede around stede makes him a happier healthier person” and “he wants to be better” and “abuse is normalized for him” and “he’s growing it’ll take some time but he’s a good boy who regrets his past choices” and i agree with all of that. what i then don’t get is how so many people lack the same charitability towards izzy. why is it that ed grew up in that environment but the idea that izzy, who has been at ed’s side for years, has not had to deal with some of the same stuff? or i suppose they get mad at izzy fans for assuming that level of generosity towards izzy without as much context to make him deserve it. like we get some backstory for ed, we see that he was in fact abused, we see that it drives him to dark places. we see ed cry about who he is and we see him say he wants to be better. but i don’t get why people assume izzy wouldn’t want the same thing for himself. like why would ed want happiness and peace with the person he loves, but to assume that about izzy is somehow delusional? as if bad people don’t also want peace and happiness? as if you haven’t been watching the same show as i have, the one that says that everyone is worthy of love and respect no matter their mistakes? as if he is undeserving of it because we don’t have context to justify his actions. i understand it’s easy to leave his backstory blank in your mind because we don’t get any of it in canon, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. that doesn’t mean his motives are entirely unjustified and irredeemable, just because we don’t have any backstory for him. i know that makes it hard to connect with him as a character and makes him more one-dimensional. i know that makes it easy to see whatever you want in his backstory, including nothing but homophobia and racism. but if you’re gonna be critical at fans for reading into his actions, you shouldn’t then read into his actions. and if you’re going to be mad at fans for saying that his behavior is not founded in hate and evil, you should then not do the same thing for ed and all of his vile behavior. sorry for not thinking he’s Just a Villain, but i don’t believe he’s driven by evil, nor do i think his actions are much if any less justifiable than ed’s

TW WARNING F SLUR IN TEXT (if it makes you feel better i’m queer as fuck quoting somebody else who i also have to assume is queer as fuck because they’re in the fandom):

seen someone say ‘izzy called the man he ‘loves’ a slur so it’s not real love and how could he actually have any respect for ed at all to treat him like that’ like literally using the f slur in their post (for dramatic effect, granted) but like. if you think all slurs and derogatory words are the same you’re being a silly goose! and if you think “namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend” carries the same weight and is borne of the same vitriol as “limp wristed faggot bitch baby” like i’m sorry but i think you are now reading between the lines a little too. i know there’s a lot to be said about izzy’s fucked up views on strength and manliness and shit but there’s a difference between ‘stop bitching about your boyfriend’ and ‘stop being attracted to men, it’s making you a bitch’ like they’re similar in delivery but the meanings aren’t the same. he’s definitely got some hurdles to get over with his ideas of masculinity but his message isn’t “you’re a loser for being attracted to men” or “you’re a loser for being left by a man” his message is “you’re a loser for being weak and sad about the man who left you” i really don’t think he cares that ed likes guys in general. if he did, why would he send calico jack? he knows their history. he sent jack because he knows that jack and ed have had dalliances and that jack will be just as attractive to ed this time as he was previously. he was baiting ed with the relationship he knows already exists. whether you think it’s homophobic of him to capitalize on their relationship is up to you, but it doesn’t read to me as “i hate that he’s attracted to men” it reads more like “i hate that he’s attracted to stede, i’d rather he be attracted to jack until i can get back into his graces and he can be blackbeard again” and i think it would be just as bad to do if ed were straight and heartbroken over a woman. i would call it manipulative and dickish, two things i’ve already acknowledged izzy is. i would also say that i’m sure he prefers the kind of relationship ed and jack have vs ed and stede because it’s rougher and less emotional. that ties into his toxic masculinity, of course, because hes averse to softness and emotional intuition. not sure that it’s fair to say that makes him homophobic, unless you think queerness is synonymous with softness and emotional intuition, which i don’t think it is. they’re related, as is femininity and masculinity, but to say “he’s homophobic” is as much reading between the lines as is saying “he feels unsafe on a ship so suddenly Not Focused on survival” (which is to say, it is reading between the lines, and it has some valid foundation but some valid criticism as well). to say “he called ed a slur” or (literally, and again it was for dramatic effect but if you’re going to do character analysis don’t throw in your own dialogue for dramatic effect) “a limp-wristed faggot” is just plain not true, and i might as well say that spanish jackie was being transphobic when she said “bonifacia.. the bitch who stole my joy” (also not true, though could be supported if i stretch really far)

and like. what’re you gonna do if we ever get literally any izzy backstory? like we get flashbacks to stede and ed and jim’s childhoods. those are the three mainest protagonists. the backstory is put in their to contextualize the character and help us understand them better. we don’t have anything for the main antagonist yet, so it’s harder to connect, but we’ve got tidbits about other crew members (lucius used to be a pickpocket and knows how to read and write, frenchie used to be a slave, even wee john used to sew with his mom) and we know nothing about izzy, and very little about his motivations besides “edward” rn the most izzy lore we have is that he’s the best swordsman in the world, he’s worked for blackbeard for years, and in fact his thoughts seem to be consumed by blackbeard. so my question is: what’ll happen if they ever give him any backstory? if we find out that he too had a rough childhood? if we find out what drives his actions? will there be any amendment of the izzy hate? any “oh i see yes he went through xyz, now i see why he’s Like That”? the same way we got with ed and stede? starting off, it’s hard to root for stede because he’s such a buffoon, but he’s got such a good heart and he’s been through such a complicated and sympathetic story that you can’t help but like him. so if we ever learn anything clarifying about izzy, will the hate be retroactively undone? like a “he sucks in s1 but wait until s2 then he becomes a character worth enjoying”? or maybe like a “he wasn’t justified before i knew his reasoning but now he’s still unjustified but i understand him better at least and can see why he chose to do the things he did even if i disagree with them” the same way you can do for stede and ed? or is he just forever irredeemable by his nature? because if you think that i again think you haven’t gotten one of the main lessons from this show. everyone deserves love, even the most vile pirates. the idea that izzy would be immune to this theme makes no earthly sense. like what?? blackbeard is defensible and redeemable but blackbeards right hand man isn’t?? as if the writers would ever deign to make such a flat, uncomplicated antagonist after creating such a fun cast of other characters

more on that point, i’m reminded very much of zuko from atla. he served as the main antagonist for much of the early show, and were not supposed to like him as a character until we learn some backstory. “oh he’s damaged from his dad” “oh he’s trying to redeem himself” “oh he’s desperate for respect from his family and nation” it gets easier to sympathize when we learn what made him that way, and when we see the ways in which he’s similar to our main character. the redemption only comes after he does a bunch of self-reflection when he gets what he thinks he wanted. he thought he wanted a place in his fathers fire nation, that was his drive for much of the series, and what drove him to antagonism. it’s not until he gets what he wants that he realizes it’s not how he envisioned it and he’s still unhappy, at which point he realizes his real goal should’ve been in line with the main characters from the start. it’s probably wishful thinking to dream of such a wholesome redemption for izzy, but it’s less wishful to think that they might do any sort of redemption. if you think the writers of the gay pirate show are lazy enough to create a one-dimensional antagonist with no depth or anything deeper driving his actions, you’re silly for that. izzy’s in the perfect position for the writers to create a good redemption, he’s in the exact position where zuko was (having “achieved” his goal to the naked eye, got the thing hes been pushing for) and the idea that they wouldn’t take the opportunity to further drive home main themes of the artwork for the sake of maintaining a layer of superficiality to the main antagonist of the first season is silly.

you’re allowed to hate him. the crew of the revenge hates him. you’re allowed to criticize his actions (i in fact encourage it!) you’ll notice that when ed’s actions are criticized by stede, he changes them. you’ll also notice that when izzy’s actions are criticized by ed, he changes them. this can be seen when hes being very rough with the crew, and ed says to not brutalize their guests, at which point izzy spends much of the rest of the scene only sneering at them and quietly seething. can be seen when he’s planning on leaving, and ed gets him to change his mind with the prospect of becoming captain. he even changes his actions bitterly when ed’s just displayed a little fuckery for the crew and izzy tries to get him down from the harness. even there, quickly and spitefully, izzy changes his actions, and leaves him hanging there as he storms off. but he didn’t continue whatever the fuck he was doing with his head between ed’s legs. for ed, stede has the most pull on his actions. for izzy, ed had the most pull. i truly don’t believe that he would have dueled stede if ed had been more involved. ed said “we’re not doing this” and izzy said “you’re not so i must” but i really think if ed had said after that “no i’m serious you’re not doing this either, i have another way to sort it out let’s talk about it (like you’ve been approaching me to do)” instead of turning his head away as izzy’s weapon pierced stede to the mast that things would’ve gone about much differently. like i don’t think izzy would disobey the command, he quite clearly obeys orders even when he doesn’t want to. think it would’ve been a blowout between he and ed since that’s where the contention lies

hypothesizing aside, criticism of stede’s actions as a captain clearly changes his behavior. the people he loves literally instruct him how to improve his behavior and become a stronger leader and pirate. stede does the same for ed, literally instructs him how to be softer and less prone to violence. it’s interesting to me that, just like both of these situations, there are also moments where we see ed giving izzy a lesson, or izzy one to ed. they don’t have literal lessons, but they have conversations where they criticize each others actions and get a change in behavior. even from the start, we can see ed talking izzy into doing things he’s not inclined to do (“oh edward can’t i just send the boys?” “no he’s a gentleman and we want to make a good first impression”). i don’t understand how these small interactions can be overlooked. like?? when stede changes ed’s behavior, that’s because he loves him. when ed changes stede’s behavior, that’s because he loves him. when izzy changes ed’s behavior, that’s because he’s a manipulative piece of shit who only has hate in his heart. when ed changes izzy’s behavior, that’s because it’s his job as captain and he’s standing up for himself, and also because you’re reading between the lines to blorbify a homophobic colonizer (despite stede being the one raised in wealth and literally born in barbados and who is shown capitulating to western standards of race in the very first episode, and despite stede being so unsure of himself and too much of a Baby (affectionate) to acknowledge his own (lack of) attraction to his wife despite obviously having sex with her. but when calico jack says “anything goes at sea” and izzy obviously agrees enough to send him over, that’s irredeemable bigotry and how dare you enjoy this character’s existence?!!) it just seems like.. idk a double standard? hypocrisy? idk what’s the exact right word for it but it’s just very Bruh

the audience should recognize izzy has done bad stuff. anyone saying he hasn’t done fucked up shit is lying to themselves. but stede has done fucked up shit too, and so has ed (and so has our b plot main jim). i dont get why there’s so little charity towards izzy. i get we don’t have backstory. i get hes a dick. i also don’t think that the writers of the show would make a character as one dimensional and VillainousTM as izzy haters think he is. it’s honestly like.. idk almost offensive as a writer like if it were me and i made such good characters like ed and stede and jim and lucius and olu and frenchie fuck i love all of them but like one of them has to be an antagonist for the sake of plot because an external threat isn’t as threatening if it’s not tied into an internal one as well, and then the audience looked at the antagonist and went “he’s the antagonist. he’s a bad character” like i think my feelings would be actually a little hurt. like i put care into characters, the protagonists and even the deuteragonists like i put care and effort into all of them except the antagonist?? why would you assume that?? what like i just phone it in for antagonists? they’re the bad guy so they have to be badly written characters too?? just because the audience (or heck maybe even me as the writer) don’t have backstory for the character yet, doesn’t mean the character doesn’t have a backstory. a good character has depth and a past. why would writers as good as what we’ve got just.. not put the same care into an antagonist like izzy? particularly in a show about love and growth. a main theme of the show full of gorgeous characters is “everyone deserves love” and you think this doesn’t apply to one of the show’s creator’s favorites? i don’t get it

okay think this is long enough but yeah. rambly defense of izzy as a character brought to you by a zuko stan and someone whose favorite sesame street characters were allegedly bert (not bert and ernie together just bert) and oscar the grouch, so take this all how you will

#izzy hands #not tagging general tags to avoid too much izcourse #but yeah i think j said it all here #mine #sorry it’s long but i have thoughts

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stillness-in-green · 2 years

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Chapter 357 Thoughts

Fight Dynamics

The likes of you would make me relive the pain and misery of that day. I've always appreciated the touch of humanity that a lasting trauma from his backstory fight with All Might gave AFO, so I'm glad to see it back again.

That full page of Endeavor is fuckin' sick. I like it when the Todorokis breathe fire—it gives them a draconine quality that is extremely cool. Dabi's mouth gaping wide and spewing fire puts me strongly in mind of some ancient and terrible dracolich, and Endeavor's curl of spitting flame here has a similar quality.

The eye lasers are pretty fun also, though I feel like they raise the question much more prominently of exactly how prone to overheating Endeavor is that he can pull that move. Eyeballs are really sensitive, guys. Endeavor, don't boil your eyeballs!

God, the Endhawks shippers should never have let Hot Wings get taken from them as a ship name. Listen, has Hawks ever sent his feathers to burn into ash as they boost Dabi's speed and become his wings? I didn't think so.

As before, while my emotional investment in this fight is not high, I really am enjoying the physical dynamics of it. The mixed visuals of people who can freely maneuver in the air (Hawks and AFO), the people who are managing to stay aloft through means that require balance and coordination (Tokoyami and Endeavor), and the one who can't be airborne under their own power at all (Jirou) makes for a great sense of mingled weightlessness and gravity in the open sky. This panel is particularly good—look at the way Tokoyami's legs dangle!

I like that we can just assume that Hawks knew to call out a warning because his feathers likely picked up on AFO's vitals, and he doesn't have to scream that out as part of his warning or reflect on it in his head first. Much more organic than the similar moment in Chapter 355.

ENDEAVOR'S MONOLOGUE

My mistakes took form as Touya, leading to so many stolen futures. Dabi is Endeavor's monster, yes, yeeeeeeeees! Exactly my preferred read on the character.

The past never dies. Rage, resentment, and even penance are wound together toward the future. I like this, too. Endeavor's talking about himself, but in echoing Touya's words, he calls to mind the villains as well. Heroes can't keep just brushing their failures under the rug and looking away from them; villains are embodiments of failings both personal and systemic, and while they have their own agency, and have to account for the lives they've taken, the actions and inactions of those around them that led them to villainy also have to be reckoned with. The villains have their own rage and resentment that drives them toward their futures, and that can't just be erased.

The future is a path for the young. This, I'm of more mixed feelings on. The future is a path for everyone still living, not only the young. It's a very shonen manga sentiment, to be sure, and a worthy thing for a parent��and for Endeavor in particular!—to be thinking about, but as someone who likes a lot of the adult villains and also has a lot to say about Hero Society at large, I don't like the sentiment that only the young--young heroes and young villains alike--warrant this compassion. However, I don't think Endeavor's thoughts here are necessarily meant to be prescriptive—I'm reminded of that scene between All Might and Aizawa where the former expresses his feelings of uselessness, and Aizawa tells him that just him being there in peoples' lives does plenty of good. So adults have plenty to contribute, now and in the years ahead, but it suits Endeavor well in his atonement to view himself as largely an obstruction to be gotten out of the kids' way.

I'll win today and keep my eyes on Touya! Assuming Endeavor survives the next phase of this, I really can't wait to see the look on Dabi's face when he's told this. It's pretty much everything he's ever wanted, so what happens to him when he gets it? (My hope: like his father, he gets what he wanted and then has to process everything he's sacrificed to get there.)

KILLING AFO (REPEATING MISTAKES)

Picking up this topic from last week, here again, we have a hero's thought about killing and death interrupted by a twist from AFO. All Might said at Kamino that trying to kill the man was a mistake, and here we see the results of that. So again I have to wonder, did the authors of this battle plan talk about that backstory fight? Even if they think killing AFO is a fair moral action to take, simply from a practical standpoint, if they don't know how AFO survived getting his head pulped by All Might seven years ago, it seems actively foolish to risk killing him again here.

I would guess they found out about Ujiko and assumed he saved AFO (and they're probably right), so, already having Ujiko in custody, just resolved to be more fastidious with the body this time. Narratively speaking, though, no matter how careful they are, they're still repeating the mistake that is trying to kill AFO. I'm extremely curious as to whether that narrative theming will pay off, and the heroes will realize they can't keep trying to solve the problem AFO represents by murdering him, or if killing AFO is just meant to be this difficult hurdle the heroes have to figure out how to overcome, like some kind of demented logic puzzle, and when they finally do, it will be treated as a triumph rather than just the newest iteration of the same mistake.

For the same reason, I'm interested in the echo of the end of the High End fight here. That was framed as a big triumph on Endeavor's part, him overcoming the shadow of himself he recognized in Hood-chan, only for us to find out later that not only are High End Noumu sentient, but even among normal people, there are those who regard the outcome of that fight as being, "The Number 1 hero just killed someone." The High End was not Endeavor's ghost; he just projected that onto it. And it was very moving in the moment, but it was still a dehumanization with lasting consequences that showed up in the form of Ending and his threat to Natsuo's life.

Here, likewise, Endeavor gets this big dramatic moment of self-evaluation and resolve while holding the body of a villain he just killed to get said absolution—but was that really such a good idea? Perhaps not, it seems: as I said last week, it's unlikely we're going to see AFO get taken out in a way that clashes with the manga's overarching themes.

That said, I do feel for Jirou and Tokoyami here. Those two really brought their (1-)A-game, and if Endeavor had stopped at "only" maiming AFO rather than pushing him over the brink of death to whatever reset trigger he's got here, I think this combat would be over, and they would have been able to say they were instrumental in taking down the most infamous capital-V Villain in Japan's history. Yet another reason for the kids to start finding their own way, perhaps?

AFO'S REGENERATION

AFO coming in hot with the phoenix quirk, lol. I consider it possible that it's something he and Ujiko picked up from Touya during his coma years, but if that's so, I will need an explanation for how they could know about this but Ujiko could still be puzzled as to how Touya survived. Right now, the only angle I see on that is that his real question wasn't simply how Touya was still alive, but rather, how Touya was still alive in that state—how on Earth had the boy not immolated himself and regenerated yet; how was he still hanging on despite being in such tatters?? But that still kind of goes back to a lot of the issues with the Evil Orphanage backstory and what AFOUJi's actual goals were there, why they thought it was worth three years burning resources to keep Touya alive but then were just willing to let him escape without trying to recapture him because they thought he wouldn't survive much longer after that.

Given the above contradictions, I'd generally rather this be something different. And it probably is, else why on earth flash to Eri? And I'd love to see the bullets turn out to be actually relevant, though I have no earthly idea how bullets Ujiko didn't get his hands on until long after AFO's imprisonment in Tartarus could possibly be relevant to AFO's body now, since Ujiko was likewise in custody by the time AFO broke out. I guess Shigaraki probably did still have one or two of them left in his pocket from the Jakku fight after he pulled them out of the wreckage of Ujiko's lab? But I'm very curious what a single bullet designed only to destroy quirks could be refitted to regenerate AFO's body at a certain point without AFO's pet genius geneticist/biologist around to figure that out. I'm sure AFO knows some science after being Ujiko's patron/husbando for seventy years, but I'm skeptical that he had the knowledge and the equipment for something like this. Unless vestiges are so incredibly present and reliable a presence that AFO can use Ujiko's science knowledge just by virtue of having the old man's vestige in his brain, I guess?

AFO writing off his body because, presumably, his consciousness already has a foothold in Shigaraki's body is one of the things that irks me about the possession plot. That conflation of quirk and soul is so weird, and so distinct to the AFO/OFA plot while being so disconnected from the reality of the rest of the comic. A quirk is not a mind. Taking someone's quirk doesn't deprive them of their awareness; they don't shut down like an appliance that just got unplugged or a computer with the motherboard removed. Mirio is still Mirio; Ragdoll is still Ragdoll. A quirk carries an echo, a copy of sentience, but it's just a simulacrum; if Ragdoll were killed, she'd still be just as dead regardless of the whereabouts of Search. Nana is just as dead, regardless of the presence of Float in the tapestry that makes up One For All. It just makes no sense to me why AFO is content to let his own mind die just so his quirk can live on—sure, he might share senses and have a mental connection with it when it's in range, but the AFO vestige is its own independent actor at this point; if AFO's body dies, the consciousness that he's cultivated since the day of his birth is still going to die with it. I swear, it's like the series is staring down the barrel of the teleporter paradox and trying to bluff us into not noticing the gun. I hope that, if AFO does get killed, he has a moment of panic where he realizes all this.

That said, I am looking forward to a full reveal of AFO's appearance next time we come back to this stage of the combat—his hair and his eyes back, no more shadow covering up the upper half of his face, just, finally, getting to know what he actually looked like before the backstory fight.

ODDS & ENDS

I am very curious as to why AFO mentioned "sacrificial moments." Traditionally, the sacrifice play is to secure a victory for someone else, but even if the "someone else" is just his vestige in Shigaraki, e.g. another form of AFO himself, what relevance does his body dying and regenerating here have to that? And how can he call this moment a sacrifice when he fought against it to the end?

Re: whatever's going on in the sky that Deku's approaching, my first thought is, "Star & Stripes fighter pilot bros, maybe?" I don't know if they ever actually went back to the U.S. or not. It doesn't quite fit Yoichi's, "I have a bad feeling about this," but Yoichi is clearly reacting to AFO's body reviving; he's got no reason to have any feelings one way or the other about whatever Midoriya's coming up on—that'd be Shinomori's purview. However, getting supersonic jets to pick Midoriya up would be an extremely smart way to get him back to the fight with Shigaraki as quickly as possible without forcing him to fly well over 500 miles across open ocean and half of Japan's land mass to get there under his own power.

#bnha #bnha 357 #todotalk #bnha afo #quirk metaphysics #chapter thoughts

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retrogalwrites · 3 years

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Shigaraki x cow girl!reader

Title: “Dark side of the MilkyWay” / see on ao3

summary: You are a hero with a cow quirk, and Shigaraki captures you for himself.

Warnings: noncon, dubcon, kidnapping, dehumanization, humiliation, Incel behavior, Shigaraki being a crusty bastard

Other contents: Lactation, breastfeeding, milking, tiddies, mating press, breeding

words: 1518

The shackles around your wrists that kept your arms above your head were the first thing you noticed after waking up, then the pounding ache all through your body. Your body...the realization that you were naked shook you off that drowsy state into full alert, breasts and pussy completely exposed the the cold air. Panic arose to your heart, fear and despair, all of those ugly emotions which you tried to control at the best of your ability, like you had done so many times before in the face of danger and the unknown. You had to get yourself together if you hoped to escape such a dire situation.

As a sense of calm started to set in, you noticed other things, like the soft bed you were bound to, the darkness of the room that seemed to be practically empty. It took hours before you heard the door click open, and while you were expecting a villain to greet you, you certainly did not expect to see the head of the infamous Leage of Villains.

Shigaraki Tomura himself was grinning down at you as he hurriedly walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Seems like everyone's favorite cow is finally up." He sneered, delighted eyes leering at your bare, heaving breasts and pussy so shamelessly that you were pulling your arms as hard as you could in a useless attempt to break off your shackles. Shigaraki only laughed, one of his hands reaching for your head, roughly grabbing one of your horns and forcing your head down, you made a little mooing sound out of pain.

"Holy shit, you really are basically powerless." Shigaraki cackled, his voice ragged and hoarse. Letting go of your horn, he circled the bed taking in the sight of your naked body, a bulge straining his pants already. "That's right, you are nothing but a cow with massive, lewd tits. Who the hell gave you the genius idea of becoming a hero, huh?"

The pained, fearful expression on your face did not match the bravery in your voice. "That's not true, I help people, that's what matters!" You pulled your arms again, the shackles still held you down without sign of giving out. Shigaraki laughed again, a horrible sound that sent shivers down your spine, tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you did your best not to let those tears fall.

"That's real funny, honestly. You should be aware that you're only popular because people love cute animal girls with big tits like you. Admit that you're just a joke, you dumb bitch."

His words stung, pierced your heart until it bled, yet you refused to believe him, refused to let him break you down.

"That's not true, I—"

"I'm the same as them though, as soon as I saw you on the news running around in a tight outfit like some fanservice bait, I knew what I wanted to do with you." He completely ignored you, continuing his cruel speech, his face twisted in a expression of pure sadistic lust.

"Make you mine."

Shigaraki was quickly then getting on the bed. You squirmed and raised your leg to try kicking him off, but he caught you by the ankle. Squeezing down the frail joint, he held you with four fingers, fifth digit almost gracing your skin mockingly. You froze, terrified that he was going to turn you into dust, realizing how powerless you indeed were in that moment.

"If I were you, I'd behave like a good girl, and maybe you'll get out of this alive." Dangling hope above your head like that was so cruel. "I know your fat tits are probably way bigger than your brain, but I'm sure even you can understand what I'm saying."

True to that statement, in that instant you almost understood that there was no salvation, and it felt like enlightenment. Your little ears flopped down, broken hearted, a small moo resonated from your throat.

Shigaraki let go of your ankle and, sensing no more resistance from you, the villain was crawling on top of you and crushing you under his weight. The first thing he did then, was to bury his face in between your ample cleavage. You heard him groan against your chest, the tip of his clothed cock rutting against your naked pussy. Shigaraki's hands gropped the soft flesh to squeeze your breasts against the sides of his face, making them jiggle and bounce. You whimpered at the painful stimulation on your sensitive breasts, squirming as your tail swayed around to signal your distress.

Looking up, he growled against your skin. "These slutty tits are so lewd, you should've tried your luck in adult videos instead of playing hero, dumb cow." His breath tickled your skin, it was scorching hot.

"I've always wondered if you got any milk in these jugs." He squeezed your breasts again, a lot harder, that you bit your lip trying not to cry out loud. Your attempt only seemed to amuse the villain.

"Guess I have to find out."

And before you could process the implications, his mouth was already latched to one of your nipples. His lips engulfed the hard nub as he sucked hard, cheeks hollowing like a vacuum around your nipple. You screamed, the stimulation too strong to hold it in anymore, but he wasn't satisfied at all yet. Shigaraki kept sucking, hand massing and squeezing your breasts until you were a whimpering mess and the sweet taste of milk was finally on his tongue.

"Moohhh~!!"

The moans echoed in the room as milk from your tits squirted into Shigaraki's greedy mouth, and he suckled hungrily, drinking up the liquid. You had milked yourself before out of need, when your breasts became too swollen as a side effect of your quirk, but this was the first time someone else had squeezed the milk out of you. It was like your entire body was on fire. A feverish pitch that was making your head spin, the heat soon pooling at your stomach, thighs rubbing together, the wetness that had started leaking out of your hole before you even realized.

When Shigaraki pulled away from your abused nipple, his spit and your milk mixed together as they dribbled down your skin. You felt filthy, but the lewd sight made Shigaraki more excited than ever.

"Fuck, I can't wait anymore." He hissed through his teeth, pulling back to free his aching erection from the tightness of his pants. You couldn't help gawking at the sight of him, thick cock swollen and impossibly hard, supple head almost purple with a bead of white precum smeared on the tip.

"Wait, please..." You shook your head, begging with your eyes and words for a shred of compassion. Of course, you found none. "Please..."

"That's right, keep begging."

Grabbing the back of your knees, Shigaraki pushed your legs against your chest, breasts spilling between them. He positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance before burying his length all the way to the hilt into your pussy.

You screamed, and mooed, the feeling of being so full was something beyond simply good or bad, it was absolutely maddening, like your pussy had been always meant for that purpose.

Your velvety walls sucked him in, squeezed around him as you adjusted to the size and Shigaraki was cussing, barely remembering to hold your legs with only four fingers as he started thrusting in and out you. "Fuck, so tight...shit..." That small crack in his power, and it almost felt like the smallest of victories in a war you had already lost.

Because the better he felt inside you, the harder he thrusted, until the tip of his cock was hitting the entrance of your cervix, making your toes curl and a certain pressure to knot on your stomach, a build up that was threatening to break your mind.

"I'm gonna give you a nice creampie," He laughed, looking down at you with those red, evil eyes. "I'll breed you like the cow you are, so don't waste a single drop!"

You mooed, feeling yourself overwhelmed by your own orgasm that his words barely registered in your brain. More milk squirted from your tits as your pussy clenched down on Shigaraki's cock, choking his dick in a grip so tight like it wanted his seed just as bad.

"Fuck!!"

He was cumming hard into your pussy, cock throbbing as sticky semen poured into your womb in copious amounts, filling you up with his seed until you were completely stuffed with cum.

A sudden beam of light hit you in the face, the door of the room had been open and the smell of smoke and fire filled your nostrils. You were barely conscious to see properly who it was, only caught the glimpse of black hair.

"Don't you know how to knock?"

"Oops, my bad." You heard his voice, dark and hoarse. "I just felt a weird, sudden craving for milk."

"Right, of course you did."

You could almost hear the smirks on their faces.

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #tw noncon #tw humiliation #tw dubcon #tw kidnapping #shigaraki thirst

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chalky · 3 years

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The Commodification of c!Tubbo

This essay is unnecessary but I think about it too much so here you go

At this point, y’all are probably sick and tired of me rambling about c!Tubbo, as this is about all my original posts are. But, I feel as though this is an important aspect of his character that is either swept under the rug or never given any second glance.

Whether intentionally or not, Tubbo has been constantly commodified by allies and enemies alike (don’t even get me started on the fandom, that’s for a whole other post). Like, throughout the entire story of the Dream SMP, Tubbo has been looked down upon as a yes man, sidekick, or extension of another character who is incapable of making decisions for himself, which is such a degrading thing to experience for so long and explains why his character values himself so little.

This is a long one, heads up!

I want to break up this dehumanization and commodification into three categories:

Tubbo is either a pawn (something to be used), a trophy(something to be owned), or a scapegoat(something to be blamed) to others.

Tubbo Seen as a Pawn:

Wilbur loved Tubbo, but his treatment of him during the Pogtopia arc was definitely sad to see. (Note: Wilbur was spiraling and his mental health was in shambles. He couldn’t help his paranoia and he deserved way better than the ending he got, but that doesn’t absolve the effects of his actions on others). First he took Tubbo on as a spy, a very dangerous role that landed him dead, but throughout Tubbo’s service Wilbur saw him as an obedient pawn, while not a loyal one. A pawn ready to turn to whatever authority figure commanded him best. His remarks about Tubbo being a yes man back this up, and the way he warns Tommy that Tubbo will betray them erases all of Tubbo’s identity and reduces it to that of a spy (again, this is born of Wilburs paranoia, this isn’t his fault).

Dream made it very clear that he regarded Tubbo as lesser than a toy, so obedient and trusting that he wasn’t worth keeping alive because he was so boring to him. The whole speech about Tubbo being worthless wasn’t even directed at him despite him being right there. Dream only addressed Tommy as if he was the one whose opinion on Tubbos fate mattered.

Jack Manifold literally used Tubbo’s trust to attempt to kill Tommy, saying that he was a sweet guy but way too gullible. No better way to treat someone as a pawn to further ones own agenda than by literally using them. (Him talking about how he’d be there to comfort Tubbo after the assisted murder of his best friend still mildly disturbs me).

Quackity managed to talk Tubbo into going through with the Butcher Army, using Tubbo’s power to further Quackity’s agenda (which, by Quackity’s own admission, did not revolve around the protection of L’manburg.) Quackity didn’t care that Tubbo was against violence, and pushed his concerns to the side in favor of his own ideas and kept comparing Tubbo to Schlatt whenever he acted in a way he disagreed with.

Speaking of, THE CONSTANT DISREGARD OF HIS DECISIONS AS PRESIDENT. His Cabinet never listened to him and lowkey every stream they had together was a bit frustrating to me (I’m also a sensitive bitch). They didn’t respect him in any way and undermined his authority UNTIL THEY NEEDED HIM TO SAVE EVERYONE’S LIFE. (Elaborated on in Scapegoat Category).

Technically, as much as I am a Tommy apologist, Tommy’s constant insistence that the Disc War needed to involve Tubbo kind of fits under this category. As much as Tubbo was happy to help, his involvement wasn’t really necessary, but Tommy needed someone to help him. This involvement nearly resulted in his willing death.

The only reason Dream even wanted to kill Tubbo, on top of perceiving him as useless, was to hurt Tommy and give him something of a “hero origin story” like Batman and his parents or Spider-Man and Uncle Ben. So, literally by Dream’s definition, he wanted to fridge Tubbo.

We could refer to Wilbur assigning Tubbo to presidency as Wilbur using him to make the explosion of L’manburg hurt more, but that feels like a stretch to me.

This may be a stretch, but after Tubbo is executed and Tommy starts getting mad at Technoblade, Wilbur eggs Tommy on by saying “Think of what he did to Tubbo,” while Tubbo is literally right there. His emotions on the event doesn’t matter to Wilbur, only how it impacted Tommy.

Tubbo Seen as a Prize/Trophy

The constant referral of Tubbo as something to be owned by someone, like during Wilburs speech of “he’s your Tubbo!”, is a bit off putting though I don’t think it’s meant to be malicious. Very rarely is the sentiment reversed, seen when Ghostbur gave Tubbo the Your Tommy compass, furthering the idea that Tubbo is an object, something to be sought after and secured with little opportunity for him to own something himself. It’s always “Tommy’s Tubbo”. Also when Schlatt gloated about having “his very own Tubbo”.

Tommy shows more possessive behaviors when dealing with the discovery of Ranboo and Tubbo’s marriage, asking about permission and insisting that Ranboo stole Tubbo from him. I’m sure this is subconscious, I know Tommy values Tubbo as a person but he still reduces Tubbo to an object to guard because he treasures his friend.

Another more vague example would be the fact that Schlatt exiled Wilbur and Tommy, but kept Tubbo as his right hand man even though it was clear he was on POG2020’s side. It was a way to insult Tommy, a way for Schlatt to add salt to the wound by keeping his best friend.

The Dream Team captured Tubbo very early into the Revolution, keeping him in a hole and holding him for ransom (this could be played off for laughs, I just remembered it). They also burned down his base, unrelated really but I remember it.

We could also count the way that Dream kept threatening to kill Tubbo if Tommy didn’t return the disc, but this feels like a mixture of pawn and prize, while still dehumanizing as it compares his value to that of music discs.

Yes, I am going to take c!Tommy joking about killing Michael to get Tubbo and Ranboo to break up so he can get Tubbo back seriously. The way he glared at Michael while holding an axe was just for the stream to see, if it was a joke I feel like he would have said it out loud. Even if it is a joke, laughing about taking something Tubbo loves away just to ruin his relationships is a bit yikes and frames Tubbo as something to be won back. You can ignore this if you didn’t see that moment as canon, but there are plenty of signs pointing to this being in character. (Also to be noted, Tubbo didn’t want to show Michael to Tommy, so Tommy ignored him and asked Ranboo instead, who immediately showed Tommy to Michael despite Tubbo’s clear worries)

Tubbo seen as a Scapegoat

His cabinet flip flopped back and forth on the decision to exile Tommy every five seconds. Whenever they spoke with Tubbo, they were all “You’re right! We’re going to listen to you! We have to do what’s right!” and then they hear a half baked plan and completely switch up on what they already agreed to do. (This happened twice. One at the sit down meeting where Tommy revealed Spirit and the cabinet joined Tommy in his mocking, only to blame him for how the meeting ended. Twice at the exile). So when Tubbo had to follow the original plan to, you know, make sure their country wasn’t put under lock and key until every citizen was eventually killed, his cabinet acted so shocked and betrayed and he was Schlatt and a dictator. It’s very true that he went against their plan (THAT THEY MADE FIVE MINUTES BEFOREHAND AFTER HAVING ALREADY AGREED TO THE FIRST PLAN FOR DAYS), but the way they treated him afterwards, as if he was a vile person for keeping his country safe, heavily impacted Tubbo’s mental state for a long time after. What I’m saying is Tubbo was set up to be the villain in that scenario, accidentally by his allies, and purposefully by Dream.

Tubbo was blamed for the destruction of L’manburg by Dream and a few others (also himself)

TUBBO IS CONSTANTLY BLAMED FOR THE BUTCHER ARMY ARC DESPITE IT BEING COMPLETELY THOUGHT OF AND LEAD BY QUACKITY (This is predominately fandom based).

The full blame for Tommy’s exile has rested on Tubbo (I will never forget Tommy calling him a monster), despite the fact he was manipulated and backed into a corner by Dream. Even when everyone has come to understand that Tommy was manipulated by Dream, the same doesn’t go for Tubbo and he’s hit with “imagine exiling your best friend” jokes many times.

Wilbur puts the decision of blowing people up at the festival on Tubbo’s shoulders, absolving him of the blame.

Schlatt made Tubbo tear down the L’manburg walls and the important signs so he could have to deal with the blame (though Quackity took the fall for this).

This is more theory based, but I fully believe Wilbur made Tubbo president right in front of Techno to egg him on to attack L’manburg. Since Tubbo would be the president, he would take the full brunt of Techno’s wrath (and he and Tommy did), and the destruction fell onto him.

So! With my text evidence we can see a recurring pattern in the way that Tubbo has been used by many people over the history of the server without much regard for his feelings. There are very few times when people besides Tommy ask how Tubbo feels about a situation, leaving him to his dark thoughts without anybody caring. Even during the Final Disc War, when Tubbo was literally moments from death, nobody asks how he is. Nobody (except Quackity once) checks up on him, and he builds up his community by himself. Until Ranboo came along, and I am not overexaggerating this, nobody was with Tubbo to support him. He had no support system and nobody cared. They just assume that he is always fine and if he wasn’t, it isn’t their place to intervene. Tubbo is just not respected, feared, or acknowledged unless he has someone by his side, or unless he’s doing something bad in which case he’s unhinged and evil and sure to have a villain arc.

This is just something to find interesting:

The only few characters Tubbo is actively involved with that hasn’t looked down on him as a sidekick or an object has been Foolish, Puffy, Ranboo and Technoblade. You could make an argument of how Technoblade referring to him as “government” could be dehumanizing but I don’t think I’ve actually seen him do that in character? I could be wrong though. Really, Technoblade takes him seriously, but way more seriously than c!Tubbo warrants. Like, he’s looking for a tyrant to beat up and Tubbo is literally just a guy with a lot of issues struggling to keep a handle on his cabinet, which I find funny. But, jokes aside, Technoblade saw Tubbo as a legitimate threat during his presidency and is respectfully cautious of him and his nukes presently, which is surprising to me. Ranboo adores Tubbo and all of his chaos that people are unaware of because they don’t get to know him well enough. Puffy just wants the best for all the kids of the server and knows how to be respectful of their feelings, and Foolish is respectful of Tubbo, if a bit annoyed and intimidated by him.

The point of this essay is just to show that there is a pattern to these things. This is how Tubbo is treated, this is why Tubbo is prepared to die for whatever because because he doesn’t feel he’s worth anything while alive, and this is why it’s frustrating to see characters call him a follower, pawn, or yes man. And here’s the thing: I DONT KNOW WHY THEY TREAT HIM LIKE THIS??? Why him? I can’t really find out why this started to happen.

To sum some things up, no I don’t think every character who treats him poorly is completely evil. Again, some of this seems to be subconscious, some of this could be argued to be OOC, I just wanted to bring this pattern to light.

#dream smp #tubbo #meta #tubbo appreciation #character analysis #jschlatt #dreamwastaken #I said I’d do an essay #here’s the essay

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing.

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant?

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her?

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me."

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.)

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible.

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much — emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc. — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm,

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck,

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon. Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details.

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!)

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby ultimatum #rwby recaps #mymetas

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starcloud-nova · 3 years

Note

Favorite fics by some of your buddies on Tumblr and Discord?

God nonnie. You fucked up big time. You underestimated just how hard I can appreciate my friends. I’d like to formally apologize for how long and in-depth this got, but I would pick a stopping point and then go ‘oh! but i cant leave out so-and-so’ and then this got mega out of hand.

Organized by author and not genre! And if I didn’t include any of your works (or I did and it was not the one you wanted), please, don’t take it personally. I am trusting everyone who comes across this post to read the tags themselves, but for two of the fics I have left TWs in front of them.

Cassia’s fics:

Internet Enemies by @cassiopeia721 (x)

At school, Midoriya Izuku is ignored at best. At home, he's raised by a single mother who seems to be always taking night shifts, and who he communicates with almost exclusively through notes on lunch boxes and texts lying about his location. As such, Midoriya Izuku turns to the internet— or more specifically, an All Might fan server on discord— for companionship. Like most things in his life, it goes wrong eventually. It just takes longer than usual.

hypnic jump

Izuku finds himself somewhere he doesn't recognize in an oversized green jumpsuit with a hero he's never seen at his back. He's pretty sure he's dreaming, and subsequent events only solidify that theory into rock-solid certainty.

Paradigm Shift (Harry Potter)

Harry undergoes a paradigm shift at the beginning of his fifth year. (Slytherin Harry)

~~~

Kestrel’s fics:

Compass by @autisticmidoriyas (x)

Midoriya Izuku never had the chance to become a hero—or even to grow up. Fifteen years after his death, Akatani Izuku tries to save the life of a dying hero and in return receives a target painted on his back and a power humming in his bones.

All Might, Sir Nighteye, Ground Zero, Suneater, and Skyquake are left scrambling in the wake of Lemillion’s death to figure out who now holds One For All.

Intertwined with all this, the League of Villains’ war against Japan burns on. With the loss of Lemillion, the advantage is now theirs, and with the loss of One For All, victory is all-but-assured.

(What the villains don’t know is that One For All lives on in the blood of a boy who was always meant to be a hero.)

triskelion

A few seconds, and their lives—their life—is changed forever. Where three people used to exist, there is now only one.

While visiting the mall with their class, Izuku, Katsuki, and Shouto are the victims of someone whose quirk can fuse together objects … and people.

Permanently.

Facing down the fact that they may never be unfused, a long adjustment period lies ahead of them as they learn how to be themself and figure out where they fit into their families, their class, and their world.

the meaning of hope

One day, the smoke will reach its end. They hold out hope for that. Even with quirks, fires cannot burn forever. They will consume all their fuel, until there is nothing left, and they will wither and die.

~~~

Lilly’s fics:

Rise of the Rat Finks by Authoress_Lilly

“You're not in trouble Neito. You’ve been tapped to join The Rats.”

The boy blinks. “The what?”

Vlad opens up a folder and hands Monoma a flyer and a small pin in the shape of a rat. “It’s a sort of secret society here at UA.

Or: an excuse to put Monoma and Midoriya together in way too many words 😅

The Root to Villainy

Prompt: Izuku doesn't realize how fucked up his past was until Aizawa does an immersive class on villain origins.

Whoops?

~~~

Dance’s fics:

Never Take Your Problem Children To Costco by DanceInTheKitchen

“SECURE THE EGGS! I REPEAT SECURE THE EGGS!” Bakugou bellowed.

“YES SIR! AYE AYE SIR!” Izuku saluted.

Shouta is staring at his students, one of whom seems to be reenacting the Lion King with a carton of eggs while the other salutes him, and wonders. What the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this?? Past him must have committed some great sin, like putting sugar in his coffee, or being a dog person.

Or, Aizawa, Bakugou and Midoriya walk into a Costco.

grow as we go

The dorms were silent, but out here in the open air, she felt both isolated and free. Isolated from the world, but free from the responsibility crushing her, isolated from her friends and family, but free from judgement. Up here, with only the stars and Iida as company, Momo felt like she could breathe.

They sat next to each other in silence, watching the stars silently crawl their way across the sky. Iida doesn’t break the silence, but he also doesn’t leave. It’s a silent promise, to listen if she needs it, or to keep her company if she doesn’t want to speak. It’s comforting.

She’s not sure when she speaks, it’s somewhere between staring up at the stars, and looking at the shiny dew covering the grass of the hills behind UA.

“I’m not ready.”

Or, with graduation right around the corner, Momo has a conversation with Iida about what growing up means.

~~~

Azure’s fics:

A Helping Hand for All by azureskyy

Izuku doesn't know why everyone's talking about a certain hero analyst online. He's tried browsing through the forums and other sites, but he just can't find the person they're talking about.

Maybe he'll ask them later. For now, he has some analysis to do.

Or: Izuku is a well-known hero and quirk analyst across multiple social media platforms.

Not that he's aware of it, of course.

A Missed Chance

Two paths cross then diverge. In another universe, perhaps, they could have walked on the same path; they could have talked for the second time that day, and Izuku could have been given an opportunity that could change his entire life. And maybe, just maybe, he would have taken it.

But this isn’t that universe.

Or: What if All Might wasn't able to find Izuku after the Sludge Villain Incident?

~~~

Alice’s fics:

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by @makeitbluue (x)

“Did you think you’d be safe from me forever? That you could chip away at my power base and I would not care or try to hunt you down?” The man asks as he steps forwards.

Izuku scrambles backwards in his bed, searching the covers as he goes for his phone. If he can get a text off to All Might or Aizawa-sensei he can alert people to the potential danger.

But even as he moves, something in the back of his mind tells him he had heard this voice before. A different time, a different context, but the same voice.

~~~

Ely’s fics:

bend and break by @queenangst (x)

In a world where you can feel your soulmate's pain, Eijirou spends a lot of his life up until meeting his soulmate hurting.

draw and quarter

In District Twelve, no one volunteers.

When Aizawa Shouta’s name is called, no one says a word. He stands there for a moment, feeling all the world slow around him, and then he straightens his shoulders and walks to his death.

He will die fighting. At the very least, Shouta can promise that.

Shouta's name is drawn for the Hunger Games, alongside Shirakumo Oboro. No one from their district has ever won.

damage control

After All for One's defeat, Aizawa Shouta is grasping for ways to protect his students. At the same time, a discrepancy in Midoriya's behavior leads Shouta down a dangerous line of investigation and to a single question: if Midoriya is the U.A. traitor.

Between the Wind and the Water

Staying at U.A. for winter break, Izuku hopes it'll be a quiet chance to spend the holidays with Todoroki and supervising teachers All Might and Aizawa-sensei.

It's just his luck a gift-shopping trip turns into a gift from a villain, and Izuku's new Half-Cold, Half-Hot Quirk is not so easy to control. Neither are the secrets he's been carefully keeping.

a glimpse of tomorrow (looking back)

Subject: Aldera Time Capsule Ceremony Forwarded Message— This year marks ten years for the Aldera Middle School graduating class of 20XX.To celebrate, we would like to invite pro heroes Kingpin and Deku, Aldera alumni, to participate in a public time-capsule opening. We are incredibly proud to have helped them on their journeys to becoming heroes, and would be most honored to receive them as guests and for them to speak at the ceremony. [...]

"Well," Deku says, leaning over to turn the monitor towards him. His eyes flick over the contents of the email one more time. "If they haven't changed, then I guess we could return the favor."

Ten years down the line, Bakugou and Midoriya are invited to a time capsule ceremony at their middle school to read letters from their past selves, and look back on their past and how it shaped their future. For anyone else, it would have been a celebration.

For the two of them, it's an opportunity.

A look into Bakugou and Midoriya's past—through a future neither of them imagined—as pro heroes, agency partners, and friends.

of the mighty heart

It was just complicated. Kacchan had changed. Izuku had changed. What was between them was constant—Kacchan was always there—but even constants, Izuku supposed, could change, too.

...You saved me, sometimes you say Deku and it doesn’t sound so much like an insult, you say it like you mean it, you say it like you mean me.

After the war ends and the dust settles, Izuku is left in pain and feeling useless. There's still so much to do and people to save, and it's just... too much for one person.

And then there's Kacchan.

~~~

Fawn’s fics:

Bough Breaks by @fawnvelveteen (x) (trigger warning for discussion of rape/noncon)

In life, nothing is certain. Pro-heroes aren’t always the good guys. Children are not spared from the darkest realms of humanity. Izuku isn't acting like his normal self at school lately, and his homeroom teacher has taken notice. After learning about the mother’s new, unwelcomed boyfriend, Aizawa’s concern shifts into dread. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep his student away from harm.

Almost Moon (trigger warning for suicide) (Black Clover)

It was always at night. One of Noelle's squadmates, apparently, believes it's a good idea to walk across the rooftop, directly over her head while she is trying to get some sleep. Finally, she decides to confront the nighttime nuisance. What she discovers is something she never expected, nor did she wish to see.

~~~

Nez’s fics:

The True Successor by @neko-nez (x)

Toshinori is caught in a time loop.

~~~

Aodh’s fics:

new game + (the pros of being over-leveled, the catharsis of finally beating That One Boss, and a bonus social link) by @takeyamayuu (x)

Izuku hasn’t been noticed yet, being as far from the fight as he is. Or if he has, they’re dismissing him in favor of the larger threat of Aizawa-sensei. As they should, since he takes out the last one with a well placed kick, turning to face Shigaraki,

Izuku tenses, this is-

This is where his teacher’s arm is injured and then-

The Nomu.

One for All spikes to around fifty percent, his muscles stinging, bones creaking as Izuku darts forward, aiming for Shigaraki’s head with an axe-kick.

Second year Midoriya Izuku gets hit with a Quirk, skids into the USJ, and learns a little about self-care along the way.

~~~

Ghost’s fics:

fingerpaint bruises and a kick in the teeth by @ghoststrawberries (x)

There’s a sour taste in Shouta’s mouth as he stares at Jackrabbit’s bright smile. The smile he’s wearing in every clear photo of him. It somewhat reminds Shouta of All Might’s smile.

Jackrabbit might be a menace to the Commission, but there’s no way Shouta can believe that a man with that smile is anything less than good to his core.

“And I’m your last resort to handle this quietly.” He says knowingly, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“Precisely.”

Shouta’s gut response is to refuse.

The words “I don’t kill.” are halfway up his throat before they become stuck.

As an underground hero, sometimes Shouta Aizawa is called upon to do darker jobs than one might expect a hero to have to do. This time, when he's tasked with taking out a vigilante who's managed to bother the Hero Public Safety Commission one too many times, he's not sure he'll be able to follow through.

~~~

Amira’s fics:

And Now I See Daylight by @awake-my-oceans (x)

AnalysisOverload Current mood: HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON

AnalysisOverload reblogged AnalysisOverload Okay, let’s talk HeroCon.

Look around, and you’ll see a lot of discrimination—against people whose Quirk is debilitating, against people whose Quirks scare us, against people who have trouble controlling their Quirk, against people who don’t have a Quirk at all. It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of discrimination.

Enter HeroCon:X.

A social media fic following Deku post-graduation.

The chaotic neutral’s guide to time travel

“You claim you are from the future,” Nedzu said, hopping onto his desk. “Do you have anything to prove this?”

Hitoshi fished around in his pocket. “Here’s my hero license,” he said, holding it up.

Nedzu opened his mouth, but Hitoshi kept right on going, producing a handful of odds and ends from his pocket. “Also a movie ticket, some dryer lint, some, uh, didn’t know I still had that but it’s old gum—“

That was when Aizawa walked in, capture weapon floating around him. “What’s the emergency?” he asked, clipped, as he kicked open the door.

“—and the left arm of a Deku plushie,” Hitoshi finished, unruffled. “My cat ate the rest.”

~~~

Aaaaaand that’s all I got. Thanks for making it to the end!

#bnha #bnha fic #fic rec #fic rec list #fic rec masterpost #nova talks #all my friends in one post. sniffle #most of em anyway #not sure what to tag this so. ill hit send!#forgot too tag this as an ask rip #anonymous #ask

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sukiglycerin · 4 years

Text

it’s too cold outside for angels to fly || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: pro-hero!katsuki bakugou x angel quirk!reader (gender neutral!)

* genre: fluff, angst, actually sfw (wow, luna's can do that?!)

* words: 8.1k (it’s a big baby!)

* warnings: mentions of trauma, reader is insecure but it's not their entire personality, therapy (not a lot of scenes with it), slight intoxication, mentions of throwing up (not much), like one suggestive joke, (light) cussing because bakugou

* original request: All I’m saying is reader with a angel quirk and the reader even has wings AND ANGST (but happy at the end 🥺) WITH BAKUGOU sounds so good 😔 but of course if you don’t want to do that it’s fine no pressure 💕

* a/n: hi 'nonnie! i hope you like you like this! honestly, it turned out longer than i expected (twice the length lol) but i'm proud of this baby. i'd like to note that enko, the nickname bakugou calls reader means 'halo' in japanese and can double down as a name, and an important reminder not to take any advice from the therapy in this fic. i am not a professional therapist, and please seek advice for situations specific to yours. the name of the fic is inspired by a lyric from ed sheeran's 'a-team,' but i promise it's not that dark. thanks so much to @toishi and the amazing feedback from @dylanxmin for beta-reading this! hope you enjoy!

* synopsis: you were your parents' perfect angel. you listened, and you followed. you didn't become a pro-hero, you stayed inside per your parents' request. it was okay if you couldn't fly; or, at least it was, before katsuki bakugou came along...

your grandmother loved pastries. that’s why you were here, trekking through the cold city in the tokyo winter. you shivered everytime your feathers came in contact with the frigid air, as if they, too, cowered under the looming shadows of tall buildings and bright lights.

so many people roamed the sidewalks, yet any bodily warmth was gone. you regretted not buying a cover for your wings - surely, it'd be an investment despite the price. wing covers were rarely manufactured for your size in japan, mainly aimed for small children just developing a quirk. the extra cloth needed for adult wing covers as well as shipping costs jacked up the price, making you hesitant to buy them. your wings were folded against the outside of your coat (putting them inside gave you cramps), nuzzling against your back subconsciously for heat. your wings were a pale cream colour, slightly more vibrantly mustard-coloured at the tips, and were the most visible part of your quirk.

according to the doctor, your quirk was "angel," but it felt nothing more than a pet name. there was a time in your life that you adorned a halo, but it no longer hovered above you when you looked up now. you weren't granted much power with your quirk; you were barely able to fly with your wings, but maybe you had a stronger moral compass than others? the wings, at this point in your life, were just accessories, as useless as the appendix. they could only cause you pain. you walked mindlessly toward the bakery, snow flurries dotting your hair. the bakery was a rundown, easy to miss place; you would've missed it if you hadn't gone there so many times. the faded yellow paint on the exterior was peeling, the poster on the window ripped and advertising for summer deals from years back. it had only a word-of-mouth reputation to rely on.

there was a worn sticker on the door, right at eye level, which said the name of the bakery in loopy letters: 'the flour road.'

you swung the door open with a jingle, greeted by the scent of baking bread and warmth. the bakery was your grandmother's favorite, specializing in rice cakes and dorayaki. she loved the pastries, for some reason - the baklava especially. she sent you on an errand to buy her some, giving you extra money to buy your personal favorite of dorayaki. to be exact, she pushed the money into your hands and forced you to buy a dorayaki for yourself. it was still warm when the cashier handed you your boxes, which you gingerly put in the bag.

you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the cold, before you opened the door and found yourself back in the cold winter.

a hand roughly pulled you into an alley, and you found yourself face to face with a masked figure.

"give me your money." the figure pointed to your purse, tugging it.

"i don't- i don't-" you reach to take off your purse, not questioning it. there was simply nothing you could do; besides, the voice was young enough. what if they were simply going through a rough time in life? that was no cause to-

"OI, DUMBASS, WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" a spiky haired man appeared suddenly, wearing what appeared to be melons on his arms. you suddenly recognized his getup of black, orange, and green; he was a pro-hero. what was his name? zero gravity? zero gr...ass?

"LADY, MOVE ASIDE." he looked you over. "FLY, OR SOMETHING."

"i can't-" but he was already after the thief. it took him less than 30 seconds to capture the thief; he was fast by himself, but was faster when propelled by his explosions.

"well, why are you here still?" he turned to you, the figure from before slung over his shoulder.

"i can't fly," you blurted.

he blinked. "then walk. besides, you literally have-" the figure moaned over his shoulder. "agh, nevermind, gotta take this douche to the police. go home."

the next you see of the explosive melon hero is at a supermarket. his arms are melonless this time, though, and you're not actually sure if he's the melon hero. you only recognize him by his hair and red eyes, but truthfully, it was probably not him. he was muttering something about "the spice not being spicy enough," and "stupid hair-for-brains nagging about the heat."

you felt a finger poke your wings. "hey miss, you have ugly wings." a stubby boy, no more than 5 or 6, looked up at you. smirking, he pushed his own smaller wings out, hands on his hips. "mine are teal-turquoise! yours are boring white."

"uh, okay-"

"mind your damn business, brat. where are your parents?" you could now confirm that the spiky haired man was indeed the melonhero by his voice and vulgarity. melonhero had turned to the kid, standing by your side.

the kid hmphed and walked away, to where his mother scolded him for straying from her.

"you again?" melonhero turned to you. "you really need to learn how to stand up for yourself."

"eh? i was handling it fine!"

"yeah, sure. what’s up with your wings, anyway?" he grunted. "can’t fly?"

"n-no. they're, uh, too weak." it was something hard to admit out loud for you. all winged people could fly, but you couldn't even hover, your wings just flapping up wind.

"too weak?! eh? is that even possible??" he poked one of your feathers. "they seem sturdy enough to me."

you turn your wings away from him, frowning. "it's not that easy. i-i never really had time to learn..."

"isn't that what all kids do in their free time, though? experiment with their quirk?"

"my parents thought it was useless..." you shuffled your feet awkwardly, eyes downcast.

"WORTHLESS?!" you flinched at his sudden volume. "it's your quirk, though, 'wings'?"

you rubbed the back of your neck. "well, not really... it's...." angel. the word echoed in your mind, under the spotlight on a stage. it stared at you in an empty auditorium. 'angel.' the word had negative connotations for you. to others, it was a sweet, innocent nickname, but to you, it meant more.

it represented the weight of your parents' expectations, the burden of your classes' assumptions. it became a ball and chain, reminding you of who you were, who you were supposed to be, and who you could never become. you were your parents' angel, your parents' little light. nothing else.

"'angel,' eh?"

"huh?" did melonhero suddenly manifest a mind-reading quirk? you look at him, but his gaze is above your head.

"halo."

"halo," you repeated, looking dumbly at the flickering ring above you.

"well then, enko, it's nice to meet you," he smirked.

"i'm not enko- i'm y/n-"

"enko’s better. i'm ground zero, the number one pro-"

"melonhero," you blurted.

"HUH?! what's that, moron?!"

"nothing, sorry, continue-" you apologized. what had gotten into you?

ground zero cleared his throat. "-number one pro-hero! ...it's katsuki bakugou to you."

"bakugou, i'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you! oh, and um- where are my manners? -thank you for the other day."

"don't go giving your purse to random men on the street, dumbass."

"it wasn't like that!" you protested. "i mean, what if he was going through a rough time? or, his parents kicked him out-"

"doesn't justify anything. you're so naive," he grunted. "didn't your parents teach you self-defense or anything?"

"w-well, no, not really..." you mumbled. you'd always just been their angel, delicate and thoughtful. you never wanted to disappoint them; always staying inside to clean or cater to their needs. their perfect angel. in their opinion, villains could never touch you if you never went out.

you recalled a time in your youth when deciding on a high school.

"i wanna go to ua!" you'd said. you knew a teacher willing to recommend you, so you didn't need to worry about much.

"honey, no, you can't be a hero..." your father started. "you're an angel, you're our angel, okay?"

your mom nodded. "it'll be dangerous, angel, and we can't have you getting hurt day after day," she added.

you simply agreed, not wanting to upset your parents. they were always right. being a hero wasn't worth it, anyway, you told yourself. it was an unstable job. you'd entered a private high school near the coast of japan, instead of ua.

"eh?! well, how are you supposed to fend for yourself alone?!" bakugou exclaimed.

"i'm... supposed to stay at home..." you confessed quietly.

"then why are you here?!"

"...i moved away from my family."

"and you didn't learn to protect yourself? get yourself some pepper spray, idiot!" bakugou grabbed your wrist, abruptly leading you to an aisle with pepper spray in it. he briefly paused, then picked one.

"it's on me. i can't have more morons like you to save when you could save yourself."

"thank you," you said. in all of his vulgarity, bakugou was semi-decent. you wondered why he was so on edge constantly; perhaps it was a trait from being a high-demand hero.

"HEY!" bakugou yelled, making you jump in place. "whatcha smilin' at?!"

you wiped the small grin that subconsciously crept on your face. "n-nothing."

"tch, so quiet, enko." he looked above you. "halo’s gone? fuckin' weird-ass quirk."

"could you... um... nevermind." you originally wanted to ask him to tone down the swearing, but thought better of it. the vulgarity reminded you of your uncle, and you a gagged at the thought of the disgusting man who'd occasionally crash at your family's home completely wasted.

"what? just spit it out," bakugou said. "i don't get offended, unlike deku or something."

"can you... cut down on the swearing?" you ask, then add more quickly when you see his face. "i mean, it's okay if you wanna keep doing it. i can't stop you. y'know, freedom of speech and everything."

"okay," he said with surprising composure. he didn't question the request, instead looking at you intently.

your gaze was set down, trying not to think of your uncle, and the horrors you'd gone through as a child because of him.

"i- um- sorry," bakugou forced out of himself. "i didn't mean t-"

"don't worry," you smiled cheerily. a fake smile, but you tried to convince yourself it was real.

"d'you-" he coughed, "d'you wanna talk about it?" he seemed to be going through something in his mind. "there's a park nearby - god, what did hitomi say? - we can, uh, talk it out? you can vent."

"oh no, it's fine, you're busy, a pro-hero." you said nervously.

"ah- yeah," bakugou seemed to be flustered too. "my therapist though- uh, she's really damn good- i mean, really good-" he pulls out a wallet from his pocket and sifts through cards. "here." he handed you a business card, advertising 'HITOMI YABUKI' in bold.

you blinked at him and accepted the card reluctantly. pro-heroes were really kind at heart, huh? "is she a pro-hero therapist?" you asked.

"her? no, she does other stuff. normal stuff, trauma, quirk stuff, erm- whatever you need. she's an all-rounder."

"oh." you put the card in your pocket. "okay, thank you."

he grunted, accepting the thanks. "need to buy anything else?"

you glanced at your cart. "no, that's all. thanks for everything, bakugou-"

"i'll pay," he blurted. "for it all." he looks surprised at himself, perhaps even angry. "oh, no thank you-"

"i'll do it. i mean it. you didn't even buy much," he muttered.

"o-okay," you said. he snatched your cart from your hand, walking to a self-checkout.

"weren't you gonna buy anything?" you asked.

"eh?!" he grunted while scanning items.

that was the end of the conversation. once he finished, he swiped his card and handed you a bag.

"make sure you use the damn pepper spray."

it was only once you got home that you realized he slipped his number into one of the bags.

you see bakugou again at hitomi yabuki's therapy lobby. he sat casually, earbuds on as he stared at his phone. you debated sitting next to him and decided against it, not wanting to bother him. you didn’t contact his number yet; your hands sweated at the thought. as much as you were tempted, you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of a pro-hero.

you found yourself staring at the man, who was unusually calm at the moment. you stared at his eyelashes, his eyes, down to his nose and lips, and his firm set jaw. your eyes fell to the phone he’s clutching, to the curve of his fingers and uniform nails.

"l/n y/n?" a tall woman called your name. bakugou looked up at you, and for a split second you could see what looked like a genuine smile before it was twisted into a smirk.

"yes!" you stood up and followed her, glancing back at bakugou before he disappeared from your sight. after a short elevator ride, you walked out onto the third floor.

she led you down a short, carpeted hallway to the last door. it was an opaque glass door that said "hitomi yabuki" on a plaque.

"so, what brings you here?" she finally said once the two of you were seated. "um- bakugou?" you said.

she smiled and jotted something down. "is that so?"

"yeah. we met a couple times by accident, and uh, he gave me your business card."

the rest of the session was just introductions - prices, meeting times, and therapy that can be provided. still, you weren’t really sure if you needed the therapy - maybe it’d be suited more for someone else struggling more than you. you didn’t need to use your quirk much; flying wasn’t much your style anyway. what would your parents think if they found out you were taking therapy? they’d surely be hurt, assuming that they didn’t provide a good childhood to you. you could practically hear your mom asking you why you’d waste money on therapy. you took a deep breath as you re-entered the lobby. bakugou was seating in the same place you last saw him, still on his phone. you bid goodbye to the receptionist, thinking out your decisions. your insurance could cover much of the costs for the therapy, but you still wondered if you should spend the money. these thoughts trailed you as you waited on the sidewalk for a cab, watching your breath billow in front of you.

"hey, enko."

your elbow shot out by instinct, hitting the invader of your thoughts.

"woah, idiot, it’s just me." luckily, bakugou had caught your stray elbow, chuckling to himself. "so the angel does know self-defense, eh?"

you stiffened at the pet name, though you knew bakugou meant well. you could remember each distinctive voice in your childhood. your parents beckoning: angel. your nickname: angel. how everyone saw you: angel. you could never escape it, not with your halo or wings. it was so distinctive, your defining quality. whether he noticed the shift in your posture, he didn’t say. "how was it? hitomi’s great, right?"

you hummed in response, rubbing your wings together for heat.

"are wings supposed to get cold? aren’t they just... feathers?"

your wings ruffled at the comment. you sniffed. "they’re sensitive."

"weird," bakugou muttered under his breath. for a split second, you considered smacking him with your wing, but you stopped yourself before you could execute the instinct.

your cab pulled up by the sidewalk. "that’s my ride." you smiled and waved to him as you entered the car. somewhere during the 15 minute car ride, you mustered up the courage to finally text bakugou.

who knew he was so dirty-minded, anyway? you leaned back in your car seat, exhaling. thankfully, you didn’t text the wrong number or prematurely end the conversation. so, now you were friends with a pro-hero, or so you assumed (friends texted each other, right?). the you from 10 years ago would be jumping for joy at the prospect of befriending a pro-hero, and here you were. you finally booked a therapy session for saturday at 3pm. you checked into the lobby ten minutes early, just as your parents had taught you, and took a seat in the lobby.

when it was finally your turn, you found yourself back in hitomi's office, the familar scent of vanilla and fresh linen wafting in the air.

"i hope you don't mind the scent," she said.

you shook your head. "it's fine." the fragrance was almost reassuring in a way, but you couldn’t pin point it. this time, you allowed yourself to drink in your surroundings. hitomi’s office was spacious, a large window overlooking tokyo’s snow-covered cityscape adding onto the effect. the walls followed a vertical gradient pattern of mint green and light blue decorated with paintings, hanging plants, and wooden shelves yet not in a cluttered way. in the center, against a wall, was a white couch. it had an oddly calming aura to it, as if you'd stepped into a dream outside reality.

"would you like an apple? or some water?" hitomi offered.

you weren’t really in the mood for either, but accepted the water. she gestured for you to sit on the couch.

the meeting consisted of her asking and you answering, the topic changing from family life, to your quirk, to your feelings.

"so, can you explain your quirk to me?" hitomi asked.

"well..." you gathered your thoughts. "obviously, i have wings like an angel. they don’t really do anything, though, just get sensitive to the weather. i used to have a halo when i was young, but it’s faded by now. dunno why. let’s see...." you paused. "i guess i have an inclination to help others? it’s hard for me to say no to things, honestly."

"is it because of your quirk?"

"probably," you admitted. "i’ve always been like this, i think."

"can you fly with your wings?"

"no." you sipped your water. "i guess i never learned. i’d try, but i don’t think they can support my body weight."

"how do you feel about your quirk?"

you shrugged, but then regretted it. you didn’t want to seem insensitive to all the quirkless people who could only wish for a quirk. "it’s- it’s cool, i guess. it makes me unique..." you thought back to your parents’ words, how they’d praised you for such an amazing quirk. when you used to feel bad about your quirk, they’d always remind you that there were children who’d wish to even have a quirk at all, and that you were special. your mother’s quirk allowed her to shine small rays of light through her fingertips, while your dad’s quirk gave him a wing attached to his left arm. it was pretty much useless for anything other than generating wind, considering he didn’t have a right wing to balance him out. their quirks together worked out just right to create you, their perfect angel. hitomi jotted something on her notepad.

the more you thought of it, the more you felt broken. you'd been doing therapy with hitomi for months now, and it had gotten harder and harder to emotionally process. your parents, your family, your quirk; you now saw the things for what they were.

your parents had used you. you were their doll, their perfect obedient angel, and it disgusted you. your hands felt tainted, your wings heavy weights on your back. you were revolted by yourself; looking in the mirror, you couldn't help but gag, seeing not the you of now, but the you of the past looking back at you. you couldn't sleep; tossing and turning and ruffling your wings in frustration. you couldn't stop thinking about your parents, how they restricted you from everything.

you wondered how it'd be different if your parents were better. you wondered if you'd gotten into ua and strengthened your quirk. you wondered how your reputation as a pushover would change. maybe you'd be a hero right now, helping others instead of being so irreparably broken. you could hear the catcalls from your classmates like bullets beating your wings. angel, the goody-two-shoes who couldn't say no.

not once did you cry. maybe you felt too disgusted by yourself. maybe bakugou was becoming the best friend you'd ever had.

he was there for you. making spicy curry or those awful, equally spicy instant korean noodles - he was there for you, in the same way milk is there for you when eating a particularly spicy dish. he listened to you, and you did the same for him. you laughed and joked together. somehow, in such a dark time, your friendship bloomed. it was strange, really. his reputation as a hero made him out to be aggressive and careless - and while he could brash in word choice at times, you knew he had a good heart. at one point, you’d even opened up to him about your past.

"then deku just completely f- messed up the mission! i could’ve blown up the damn guy, but he had to play mr. goody-two-shoes and just tie him up. and he got all the interview time. what’s even up with that?!"

he talked about his friends a lot. he'd deny his relationship with them being something other than strictly professional, but the way his crimson eyes would deepen gave it all away. he mainly spoke of deku and red riot (though their names would be referenced in cruder ways).

"what if- what if i was a hero?" you asked suddenly.

bakugou lifted an eyebrow. "you'd be a damn good hero if you could manage your quirk. like hawks."

"you think the public would like me?"

"duh. you're pretty, kind, AND fight villains? pretty badass. hell, if i approve of you, anyone would."

you smiled.

"why, though?" bakugou asked.

"curious. i, um, used to want to be a hero. growing up."

"your quirk has potential." bakugou leaned back on the couch. "why didn't ya become one?"

"parents." you flinched as the word passed your lips. thinking about your parents was painful, as if you had to rip off a month old bandaid before you could even get their faces into your mind. "they just... worried," you said. you didn't say anything else.

"betcha couldn't come up with a hero name as damn awesome as ground zero." "i could barely remember it," you teased.

"though, i must say, i do like enko as a hero name. it's like i'm joining an idol group."

"akb48 has nothing on you though," bakugou said.

you flushed. "i-i don't think you've looked at them properly, then."

"nah, i have, ochaco's obsessed with idol groups. don't doubt me, enko~" his voice was dangerously close, but he hadn't moved an inch from his original spot. "you're prettier than all the idols combined. tch, how low do you think my standards are?!"

"they're idol groups, bakugou, they practically rely on visuals!"

"eh? who cares? you've beaten them in looks and personality."

the thing about bakugou was that he was always completely honest with his thoughts. his integrity always amazed you, but then again, he was a pro-hero. you were quick to change the subject. "um- then-- what time is it? it must be getting late. i should get home-"

bakugou frowned. "it's late, idiot. eat before you go. i have some leftover tonkatsu and rice, and i can whip up the miso-"

"n-no, it's fine bakugou, you don't need to-"

"idiot, i can't have you starve to damn death on the ride home. eat."

even if you wanted to protest, you couldn't. bakugou's cooking was always to good to pass up, alarmingly spicy or not.

"the rice is still warm in the rice cooker," bakugou finally said, turning towards the kitchen. he knew you'd follow him, and you did.

bakugou busied himself making some instant miso soup and reheating the tonkatsu. you prepared yourself for the spicy of bakugou's tonkatsu; you'd had it once before, and it was quite painful. finally done, bakugou sat to the side of you eating tonkatsu as well, seasoning his with extra chili flakes. he was positively crazy; how did he handle such spice?

you cut yourself a strip and brought it to your lips. the tonkatsu was surprisingly tame for bakugou's cooking; it could've passed for normal restaurant tonkatsu.

"thish ish good," you said in between bites.

"i know," he gritted out, but he looked proud. "would be better with chili."

you shook your head, smiling. "never in a million years."

it was often you thought of this moment. it was so happy, so complete. it was just you and bakugou, simply being. right now, a genuine smile was something you couldn't curl your lips into, no matter how hard you tried. when you did, the taste of something salty crept into you mouth.

something salty...?

you touched your face. it was wet. your head spun, and then it dawned on you: you were crying. you were crying? your eyes focused, and pain throbbed in your head. lights shone too bright on you, heightening your headache, and a foul taste lingered in your mouth. you were suddenly aware of something solid in your hand: a drink.

something else you were aware of was how much you wanted to go home. you could barely remember what led you to a club as you fumbled in your purse for your phone, glancing at the time and unlocking the screen. all you needed to do was go home. you really wanted to go home, but where was home? home was gone. home...

a fresh wave of tears glossed your face, and you ignored the person next to you's advances. you didn't even know why you were crying. you struggled to read your contacts, dizzy, and called the first one you can make out with your hazed vision.

bakugou.

yes, all you wanted right now was bakugou. you wanted him and his warm arms, his endearing words. you wanted him so bad. you wanted him, and his warmth, and his happiness. you wanted his scent of comfort, the smile that made you feel fuzzy. you wanted his voice to shelter you precisely at that moment, you wanted to feel like it was him and you against the world.

"dumbass? hello? where are you? why is it so freaking loud? enko?"

you hadn't realized that a low quality projection of his voice was speaking on your phone.

"b-bakugou," you said, though it came out hoarsely. "bakugou."

"enko? where are you, and why are you calling at ass o'clock in the morning?"

"miss you," you almost said, but instead it came out as "dunno, you," a mix between "dunno" and "miss you."

"eh? where are you?"

you shrugged. "come here."

"send me your location, moron, and stay where you a-"

you hung up to send him your location.

you yawned and rubbed your forehead. everything was loud, everyone was together. and you were alone. it made you sad. you wanted to have somebody. a voice in the back of your head told you that you had bakugou. did you? right, he was coming. did you tell him to come?

you pressed the call button again.

"what is it?" bakugou asked roughly.

"lonelyyyy..." you moaned. "pick me up, baku...."

"idiot, i'm on my way. why the fuck are you so far from where you live?"

"hmm mmmhm," you strung together sounds. "'m sad."

"don't be." he sounded mad. he always sounded mad.

"why are you always mad at me?" you pouted.

"i'm not, dumbass! i'm pulling in."

"hmmm...!"

bakugou almost tore through the door with rage. "ENKO, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE."

you hopped toward him, wobbling a bit. the floor seemed to turn under you. enko! that was you! right?

"bakuuugoooou~" you cooed, flopping into his arms. "let's sleep."

he smelled nice. his scent enveloped you, a mix of vanilla and caramel that you’d grown so accustomed to.

he stiffened. "dumbass, i can smell the alcohol on you, we’re going the fuck home."

"don’ wanna," you whined. "lonely. wanna be with youuuuu..." you nuzzled more into his chest, finding comfort in his body warmth. you didn’t want to let go, ever. "tch, fine."

the car ride to bakugou’s place was uncomfortable. cars spun by you, lights making you woozy. you almost bashed your head on the dashboard. your seat was uncomfortable, the seatbelt itched you. despite all that, you stopped to stare at bakugou in your daze, all serious and set on the road. he had nice biceps, and his side profile was a sight for sore eyes (see also: your eyes).

"what, enko?" he grunted, glancing at you.

you said the first thing that came to your mind. "you know you smell nice?"

"huh?" he glanced at you, turning in to his driveway.

well, there was no going back now. "you smell like caramel... and vanilla... it’s nice..." you sighed happily, imagining the fragrance.

bakugou didn’t reply, instead parking and unlocking the doors. "get out, dumbass, it’s past your bedtime."

"but i don’t haaaaaave a bedtime," you slurred, stumbling out of the car. bakugou mumbled a complaint before hoisting you over his shoulder. it was probably not the best move, considering the blood rushing to your head made you feel sick. after entering his house, bakugou set you down on a sofa, sitting you upright.

"stay here."

you leaned back on the sofa, feeling suddenly empty. the buzz in your head had not quite left, but the weight of the world came crashing down again. therapy, your parents, your quirk. it struck you that you were probably bothering bakugou and disturbing his sleep; he was a pro-hero after all, lives depended on his health. but here you were, ever so selfish and probably taking a toll on his health.

"drink." you hadn't realized bakugou had put a glass of water in your hands. you simply nodded and gulped it down, hoping to sober yourself up.

you stared at the man glossy eyed, glass in your hand half empty. "bakugou."

"eh?"

"sorry."

"for what?"

"y'know... waking you up... bothering you... i know you're busy, and-"

"shut up, it doesn't matter. i'd rather you here than in the hands of some douche at the club."

"but still, how would i make it up-"

"by sleeping well. off to bed you go."

he started pushing you towards the hallway. "where will you sleep?"

"sofa."

"but bakugou-"

"go to bed."

"i feel sick-"

"hah?"

a rising sensation of bile emerged in your throat. the only words you could get out of your mouth was "bathroom," before you rushed in. it was not a pretty sight - you preferred to skim over the details when recalling it. the details you did not skim over, however, were that of bakugou's care; for being awoken at ungodly hours in the morning, he was surprisingly gentle with your vomiting state, soothing your stomach with warm hands and rubbing your back. after, he gave you a glass of water and forced you to take ibuprofen, though you swore you felt fine.

bakugou's bed was surprisingly comfortable. then again, bakugou did claim to have gone to bed at 8:30 sharp daily during his high school years, so it made sense he still valued sleep.

you were then reminded how you disrupted his.

and how you were now forcing him to sleep on the sofa.

you padded out of his room, wearing one of bakugou's old shirts that he'd graciously lended you, to the living room. he was laying on his back, feet sticking out of the sofa, eyes closed.

"what?" he asked, eyes still shut.

you knew he wouldn't let you feel guilty about intruding his sleep, so you settled upon saying the next best thing. it was partially true, anyway.

"'m lonely without you." your voice came out smaller than intended.

"huh?" he sat up, groggily looking at you.

"it's- kinda cold, and y'know, with your quirk..."

he grunted and obliged, walking toward his bedroom. you stood behind him, staring at his back; that was surprisingly easy.

bakugou slept with his arms around you, so you were nestled comfortably into his chest. this position felt strangely domestic; something lovers might do nightly. but you and bakugou weren't lovers, you were friends. image of you and bakugou involved romantically faded into your mind; coffee shop dates, cooking together, waking up next to each other. there was a sudden loss of breath in your chest, as if your heart had become weightless and was lifted by a thousand of butterflies taking flight. bakugou... romantically? it hadn't crossed your mind. still, you could see it so vividly in your mind; you, becoming his dumbass, his and his only. you could imagine how he'd look at you, full of love in his eyes, and how he'd gently kiss your forehead in the morning. was it so bad to want that? the more your thoughts indulged you, the more his body warmth drowsed you, his calm breathing adding to the effect. he was practically nyquil in human form. you found yourself nodding off in his arms, not before mumbling a quiet "what if i liked bakugou?" and clutching his shirt closer to you.

you were far too engrossed in the realm of sleep to hear bakugou's faint but hopeful reply of "i'd hope so, dumbass."

at your next therapy meeting, you told hitomi about bakugou. it was unplanned, spilling out of your mouth as soon as she asked why you looked so anxious. you couldn't like bakugou. you blamed your slightly intoxicated past self for planting such a thought in your brain, but you knew it just admitted a lingering feeling from in your heart. you spared her the details of the throwing up and the guilt that gnawed at you regarding how bakugou cared for you.

"it's... childish, right? like an old schoolgirl crush," you flushed, finishing your confession.

hitomi shook her head. "it's good to feel this way, actually. it's quite healthy for a twenty-something like you to harbour such feelings; it allows you to explore your feelings and relationships healthily."

even so, crushing was so damn frustrating. it's one thing to like a person; it's a completely different experience after admitting to yourself, yes, they're my crush. when you were younger, you very rarely developed crushes (as influenced by your parents) and even less were able to act on them. but now, as an adult, you had the freedom to act (or not, considering how your nerves constantly started to act up around bakugou). you decided to push the feelings down; you were just friends, and bakugou had no time to pursue a romantic relationship.

if having a crush was like an addiction, rehab was torture for you. gone were the days of seeing bakugou as platonic; you couldn't stop your heart from swelling whenever he recounted his day to you. bakugou had now become attractive, from his tight, bulging muscles to his hard chest. it did not help that you had to see him in his hero costume flaunting those features every other day on the news.

you convinced yourself bakugou harboured nothing but platonic sentiment for you, but he never failed to send your heart aflutter with discreet compliments he hid under rough comments. you started leaving early whenever the two of your hung out under the guise of other plans (that in reality didn't exist), and tried to always cut conversations short when you bumped into each other in public. he was ground zero, pro-hero, and you were just a civilian who could barely maintain their quirk.

you were just starting your quirk therapy, but you couldn't expect major changes a week in. bakugou had said your wings looked brighter, but you assumed he just said that to make you feel better. you could hover off the ground for less than a second now, but your wing strength lacked too much to be able to do anything requiring more strength. your halo was still absent, and you couldn't figure out how to make it reappear. there hadn't been much research done on the essence of halos; hitomi said not to worry about it regardless.

flap flap flap.

"oi, dumbass, you're gonna create a tornado in here."

flap flap flap.

"i'm practicing flying."

"well, you're going nowhere. d'you want me to call hawks or something?" flap flap flap.

you turned to bakugou, folding your wings neatly. he had the same expression as always, slightly disapproving and tired. your eyes meet his momentously; but they fall down immediately to his lips. lately, this kind of thing had been happening often. bakugou acted like he didn't notice you'd been different lately, but you could tell he wanted an explanation.

you acted on your impulse, your mouth opening and words tumbling from your mouth.

"bakugou- idon'twanttoruinourfriendshipbutijustwannasayitnow- ilikeyou."

"what?" why did you do that?

if this were a texting conversation, you'd leave him on read. if this was a tweet, you'd make your account private. if this was a video call, you'd end it.

alas, this was real life, so you resorted to the next closest thing: you ran. you ran faster than any shoujo girl and with more conviction than any shounen boy, and then you were lost. damn cities.

panting on the sidewalk, wings heaving up and down, you realized what you did. staring at the edge of the pavement, where the curb met the street, hands on your knees, it hit you.

you cussed and yelled at yourself mentally, and though a small part doubted bakugou even heard you, you didn’t allow yourself to have hope. it was game over. you let your feelings override rational thought, and you ruined what was arguably the best thing going on in your life.

you were interrupted by an itch in your feathers from being so cramped while folded. they ruffled against the cool air, distraught. you stretched them out, observing your surroundings and allowing yourself to cool down. the breeze was a satisfying sensation against your feathers, and you hovered just a moment when they flapped.

"mommy, wings!" a kid passes you on the sidewalk, pointing. his mother hushes him, but you smile at him.

the next few days were rough, particularly because you were avoiding bakugou. it was definitely not a good idea, but it was a temporary patch over the open part of your heart.

this was not one of your healthy coping mechanisms.

did he text you? did he call you? you didn’t know, because you turned off your notifications. you knew you were just making things more awkward, even more so if he hadn’t heard you at all. it gave you all the more excuse to ignore him longer.

now, with evenings to yourself, your mind wandered more. your thoughts drifted into a vast desert of tangled constellations in your mind, tightropes you’d tread that would lead you to a random destination. sometimes it led you to random memories - other times, it wasn’t as random, leading you to painful manifestations in your heart. these were the things you tried so hard to ignore, but rang so true.

you were reminded by the constellations in your mind that you were being terribly selfish to bakugou; not even considering his feelings. bakugou didn't deserve you. maybe stars twinkled in your mind, but the bluest ones burned you to the touch. you needed to get over bakugou.

that wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt, trying to get over bakugou. the stars in your mind dimmed, and perhaps, at one point, the constellations were reduced to thread; knotted, tangled, and hopeless.

maybe it was better when the string had been unkempt, because now it unraveled. you cried, and cried; in the shower, at your desk, doing chores. tears, hot and sharp like newly shapen diamonds, dripped down your face. your face was permanently marked by the wounds the diamonds left, and contrary to the stars, your eyes were red and hot. your thoughts unwound like string - there was a clear pathway now, but it was tainted by the shape of the knots there had once been.

everything hurt when you thought of bakugou. your swollen eyes became lifeless as memories of him overtook you. they controlled you. you missed therapy session after session, too scared to go to the place which bakugou had connected you to. sometimes, you’d sprawl across the ground, stare into your ceiling, and feel yourself vanish into something, a dark void of nothingness. he had cared so much for you - too much. why had he? why couldn’t he have left you, that one day you were almost robbed? why couldn’t you just have stayed the way you were? why did you have to find the truth in things? ignorance was a bliss you woke yourself from. ignorance, the dream which from you woke to find a nightmare, reality. why did he have to be him, the stupid pro-hero with a heart that bled kindness into yours? why couldn’t he have stayed a two-dimensional public figure, the careless and angry ground zero? why did he have to be in your goddamn life and ruin it, entangle everything into one big mess? you hated him. you hated him and his stupid endearing insults, him and his rugged smirk that pained your heart so, him and his eyes that held sparks and diamonds and you. deep inside, you knew it wasn’t true; hate was just a name for an indefinably strong feeling you had for him. you knew you didn’t hate him, you knew you couldn’t hate him. you told yourself you did to distance yourself from him. the distance between you and he only grew. your memories were tarnished with pain, his image blurry and wrinkled in your eyes. katsuki bakugou was just someone, no one.

this was the feeling of agony, this was the sight of pure hell, and this was the sound of you burning your heart. distance between you and the man named katsuki bakugou grew, as did your descent into pure madness.

until the distance between you and he was less than a metre.

you had not bothered to tame your hair; it was a bit overgrown and sprouted a couple split ends. you were dressed in a stained shirt, your face not even mentionable, and your heart was beating in your ears. you felt yourself dragged quite forcefully down to sanity, as if opening the door suddenly put gravity into effect.

because here he was, katsuki bakugou in all of his perfect glory, standing on your doorstep.

the little shit refrained from making a comment about your current state, but you could see the comment appearing in his eyes and vanishing as soon as it came. you watched his eyes go from the state of your face down to your unkempt attire. he, on the other hand, looked unaffected. he was sporting a t-shirt and jeans, hands shoved into his pockets. the only indicator, which was minuscule at best, that he had changed at all was the red at the corners of his eyes and slight eyebags. he looked shocked at the sight of you.

"y/n..." you almost fainted on the spot.

you weren’t not jumping for joy in ecstasy at the sight of him, and you didn’t feel like a shoujo protagonist at the moment. it was something different.

"again," but your voice was too hoarse to be heard. your mouth opened and closed, you coughed, and repeated yourself. "s-say it again."

"huh?!" it was nice to know someone hadn’t changed after all that time.

"my- my name..."

"eh? enko."

you sighed, your face indifferent. you weren’t exactly disappointed by his reply; it brought memories upon memories of happier times with him.

"well, what do you want?" you asked, rubbing the side of your face.

"what- what the fuck is going on?" he gestured to you. "i should be asking about you. what the f- what happened to you?!"

"i-"

"enko, i don’t get any of this shit. this relationship crap. what do you want me to do?! first, you act weird as shit- because of what?! i don’t fuckin’ know. you avoid me - don’t think i didn’t notice - and then suddenly you spew shit and leave?! i don’t see you for a goddamn week, you don’t answer your damn calls or texts, and suddenly i’m the damn villain and i’m supposed to give you time or shit to figure things out, and when i can finally fucking see you, you look like actual crap?! hell, i should be the one with deteriorating mental health with all of the bull you put me through! if you want something, if you don’t wanna be friends or shit, just goddamn say it to my face! i’m not good with people, enko, goddamnit! tell me what’s wrong!"

you stood in shock. relationship..? you shook his words away. you hadn’t realized how much this took a toll on bakugou, too. he looked away - something glinted in his eyes, but you couldn’t tell exactly what.

"god-fucking-damnit," he grumbled. "...are ya gonna let me in, or what?! it’s cold out here!"

you didn’t think about how bakugou’s quirk involved producing heat, and let him in unreluctantly, stepping aside. "sorry," you mumbled.

he took off his shoes, and you motioned for him to sit down on your couch.

"explain it to me," he demanded. "what in the goddamn world has happened tot you? did someone do this to you?!"

you refrained from saying technically, it was you, and settled on: "no." it was apparent he hadn’t heard you that day. "just- it’s nothing. i was being stupid, a-and i’m okay now." it was a lie.

"do you take me as an idiot?" he asked. gears shifted in his eyes. "sit down," he said, suddenly calm.

you did so, sitting as farthest as you could from him.

"closer," he gritted out. you scooted a centimetre. "closer." another centimeter. "clo-ser." he pulled you so you were sitting angled toward him, knee brushing his.

"baku...gou?" so many questions flashed in your mind.

"confirm something for me," he ordered. "what exactly did you say to me before running away?"

"i- nothing. it was nothing, i told you, bakugou."

"tell. me. i don’t care if you quoted freud, told me a failed joke, or what. tell me."

your mind was devoid of possible jokes you could use to lie.

you opened your mouth, forcing the words out with all your might. "i don’t remember the specifics," you rambled. "i don’t think i was in the right state of mind-"

"spit it out."

"i think it went something like ‘i like you’ or something?" your pitch rose with every syllable.

"tch," a smile was on his face. "thought so." his hand was suddenly on your cheek, and his lips were on yours. he tasted like caramel. your eyes widened, and you pulled away, sputtering.

"what? what d’you mean, ‘thought so’?!"

"idiot, i like you too. also, when did you last brush your teeth?"

"i- that doesn’t matter. bakugou... i don’t think that this relationship is good for us. as friends or whatnot."

"huh? why not?"

"look at me. look at you. i can barely handle my quirk, and you’re a pro-hero who uses his quirk to help people. i can’t really do anything."

he mumbled something under his breath. "enko, do you think i care about any of that? i don’t care if you have the strongest quirk in the world or none at all. you’re strong - and i don’t say this ‘cause i like you - you’re kind, you see the best in people." he paused. "people don’t give me the time of day ‘cause they think i’m too irrational. brash. careless. but you? you see past that, you don’t care. you work hard no matter what people say. people-" his voice caught in his throat, "people say shit to you, and you don’t care. you keep going."

he saw you... like that? your face heated up.

"don’t be gettin’ all shy on me," he grunted. "tch. come here." he pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around you and narrowly avoiding your wings. you flushed, holding him tight and inhaling his caramel scent. you squeezed your eyes shut, wishing to hold him like this forever.

“hey, enko,” he whispered into your ear. you looked at him, who was currently looking up and pointing. “halo.”

661 notes · View notes

anakinisvaderisanakin · 4 years

Text

Vader is Anakin, he’s one person

Vader is Anakin.

Vader is Anakin’s apathy in the wake of losing everything, and everyone he ever loved or cared about.

Vader is Anakin’s emptiness, when realizing he’s completely, and utterly alone.

Vader is the burden of the guilt Anakin carries on his shoulders; the bane of every life he has snuffed out, every man, every woman, every child whose blood stains his hands red.

Vader is Anakin’s explicit self loathing, his grand delusional self deprecation.

Vader is the suffocating feeling of having nothing left, nowhere to go, no one to turn to; nothing to live for.

Vader is what you get when you’re stripped of all love, all compassion, all happiness, and all hope - leaving behind an empty, aimlessly drifting shell.

Vader is the numbness of depression; so overpowering that you’d hurt yourself, hurt others, further your own downfall only to feel anything but pain and disarray.

Vader is the trauma, the torment, the anguish; the horror of existing in a waking nightmare of your own making.

Vader is Anakin without a safe haven, without reassurance, without boundaries, without restraint, without a hand to hold.

Vader is Anakin when left to his own vices, when unhinged, when enraged, when in despair; without a scrap of human compassion left.

Vader is Anakin; broken down into his most basic form, forced back into the mold of a slave, of a pet, of a prisoner - of an unthinking, unfeeling drone.

Vader is Anakin, unable to trap the people he loves in his own toxic, unapologetic, selfish and egocentric craving for praise and appreciation.

Vader is loneliness, is solitude, is desolation.

Vader is Anakin’s selfmade prison, a hell of his own making; a punishment for the sins he continues to commit.

Vader is Anakin’s inability to forgive himself for his own mistakes, for failing to keep his mother and his beloved Padmé alive.

Vader is Anakin’s indirect refusal to admit he’s at fault; his near rabid desire to point the finger at Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka, the Jedi Order - and blame them for his own crimes.

Vader is Anakin’s deepest, darkest desires - the lure of the Dark Side, the drug he can’t live without, the tempest that ate him alive and spit him back out more man than machine, crippled and warped.

Vader is delirium, is blood thirst, is vengeance.

Vader is retribution, is deceit, is a lie.

Vader is Anakin; conditioned both by Palpatine and his own hand into subservience, into willful blind loyalty.

Vader is losing the will to live, desperate to die but not brave enough to end it all by one’s own hand.

Vader is like walking in a haze, like a puppet played by his master, like a joke without a punchline.

Vader is Anakin’s reality, is Anakin’s present, is Anakin’s future; and Vader is the shroud that buries his past under heaps of misdeeds.

Vader is Anakin’s legacy, his cross to bear; the sole persona he knows to accept.

Vader is Anakin’s way to destroy every reminder of his own weakness, his own ambition, his own ignorance, his own faith in the wrong places.

Vader is rebirth, his death, is life; is an endless vicious cycle.

Vader is despicable, is deplorable; is the side of Anakin that can never seize to stoop to new moral low points, that has no regard for others, no regard for himself.

Vader is always on the go, always on a mission, restless; never allowing himself to dwell upon his own state of being.

Vader knows he cannot stay put, lest his demons rear their ugly heads, as they come to haunt him and remind him of memories he desperately wishes to purge and disperse.

Because he knows he’s not Vader.

There is no Vader, there has never been and never will be.

When he stops to think, when he falls headfirst into his own trap, into his own tangled web of lies - there is no Vader.

When he allows the memories to resurface; of Padmé, of Obi-Wan, of Ahsoka, of Shmi - there is no Vader.

He cannot deny what they meant to him, who they were and how they impacted his life; how they helped lead him down a path he cannot break from - there is no Vader.

There’s only him. His wife. His brother. His sister. His mother.

Only Anakin.

Anakin, who longs desperately for a past he himself lay in ruins.

Anakin, who tries so hard to draw a firm line between who he is, and who he was. What he was, and what he has become.

Anakin, who despite denying his own name, his own existence to absolve himself from his own guilt; will never forgive himself.

Anakin, who doesn’t even want to forgive himself.

Anakin, who opts to writhe in anguish for the rest of his life, who knows misery and pity is all he truly deserves.

Anakin, who sees the image of his own fear in the eyes of every victim, who knows none of them may ever fear him as he does himself.

Anakin; who is small, and broken, and lonely; ripped apart for all the world to see.

A goon, a monster; less than a man, less than human.

A failure, a disappointment, a liar, a murderer.

A brother, a son, a husband, a father.

Anakin, who hides behind a mask of indifference, of ruthlessness, of cruelty, of paper thin righteousness.

A lost, little boy.

A phantom, a ghost, a specter.

Vader is a man whose spirit died, whose spark diminished, whose good intentions were rendered useless.

Vader is what rose from the ashes of Anakin’s crushed hopes and dreams.

Vader is, when left to his own devices; unable to act, trapped in a body that’s more cybernetics than flesh.

Vader is nothing.

Vader is Anakin who’s lost his way, lost his soul.

Vader made a deal with the Devil, only for the Devil to spit in his face and drag him straight into purgatory.

There, he writhes; unable to eat, or breathe, or even speak for himself.

Anakin, who signed his own death penalty.

Anakin, who thinks of himself as a dead man walking.

Anakin, who knows that no matter how he tries to delude himself, he never can.

Anakin, who knows Vader is only an excuse; a scapegoat.

A joke, a pretense, a facade, an act.

Anakin, who couldn’t cry even if he wanted to - and he does.

Who wouldn’t die, even if he thought he deserved peace - and he doesn’t.

Who wants to be right where he is, at his master’s beck and call - and he endures.

Anakin, trapped under his own thumb.

Anakin, who can never repent or be redeemed.

Anakin; condemned, and convicted.

Vader is Anakin, and Anakin is Vader.

One and the same.

Indistinguishable, inseparable, intertwined.

Two names, one person.

Two aliases, one man.

Anakin, who would lose his last scrap of sanity were he to admit it aloud.

Anakin, who can never look himself in the eye for fear of what he may see.

He’s the monster, he’s the villain, he’s to blame.

Not Vader.

Only him.

-------------------

Bringing back one of my most popular posts from the original account, figured it would be appreciated.

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the--sad--hatter · 4 years

Text

Red - One-Shot (Loki x Reader)

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Warnings: Injury, blood, moral compass shifting.

Summary: When the cost of being a hero is too high, what will become of you? And when you’re on the precipice of change, who’s the person who helps you?

Scores of hero’s had battled him before you had your turn, and it was only luck that placed you in his path when he was already exhausted. Or maybe it wasn’t luck at all.

Maybe it was fate.

Whatever it was, it was the crucible in which your downfall was contained. You might have been an Avenger, a fighter, a hero, but you were not equipped to fight a god and survive, let alone win. But he was already weakened by the Widows bite, his ribs bruised by the Captains Shield, his energy depleted by the witches power, his flesh scorched by Iron Man’s repulsors, his spirit sapped by his brothers ego. He had been battled into near submission and when you drove your dagger into his chest, he could not stop it. The blade pierced his skin, sliding between his ribs with ease, and crimson blood poured from the wound you had inflicted, spilling over your hand.

His blood was cold, dripping down your wrist like icy water and coating your hand like a scarlet glove.

You both moved in tandem, looking down at the dagger, each as equally shocked as the other. Your breath crystallised in the cold air as you gasped, heart hammering in your chest. It was in the moment you realised you may have slain Loki, that you realised you really didn’t want to. Fear gripped your heart, squeezing until it hurt so much that you couldn’t breathe.

Had you just killed someone, killed the god of Mischief?

“You missed.” He whispered, his voice filled with sympathy.

You’d just stabbed him, and he was showing you sympathy? You dragged your eyes away from the terrible wound you’d inflicted, from your fingers wrapped around the handle of the blade sticking out of his chest. His words settled over the fog around your mind and seeped through it, until they made some kind of sense.

“I missed?” You repeated hopefully, pleading with your eyes.

His face softened exponentially as he gave you a small and fleeting smile.

“Yes. You did not pierce my heart with your dagger.” He clarified, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and very carefully pulling your hand away until you released your grip on the fateful blade.

You let him manoeuvre your shaking hand away, trying and failing to swallow down the whimper in your throat as blood continued to pulse out the edges of his wound.

“Wait! No! Stop!” You yelped as he grasped the handle, stalling him before he could pull it out.

“I must remove it so my body can begin to heal it.” He sighed, his already pale skin growing paler by the second.

Right, Asgardian, or something. Not human. He probably wouldn’t bleed to death if he removed it, hopefully. You ignored the incessant buzzing in your ears, vaguely familiar voices demanding information, begging for assurances of your safety. All your attention was reserved for Loki, and for what you had done to him. He yanked the blade out in one swift movement, before you had a chance to prepare for it. Crimson liquid welled up in the gash left behind, streaming out of it in an alarming stream, and your hands moved of their own accord, twisting to press against the wound in a fruitless attempt to keep any more of his blood from spilling out. His blood was, quite literally, on your hands.

What the hell had you done?

You had trained for this, every day for months. You had been trained to be a hero by the best of them, but you hadn’t prepared yourself for what it meant to be a killer. Adrenaline and training had pushed you forward in your task, and only when the blade had sunk deep and it was too late, did you realise what your task really was.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You whimpered, choking on the fucking useless apology. “Please don’t die. I don’t want you to die.”

“You don’t want me to die, or you don’t want to be my killer?” He chuckled weakly, devoid of humour and dripping with weariness.

But even as he had asked the harsh but fair question, his hand cupped your cheek, gently lifting your face until you met his eyes. There was absolutely no anger in his gaze, none. No rage, no hate, no disdain. Just exhaustion, pain, and sympathy.

“I don’t want you to die.” You admitted.

You didn’t want to kill him, you didn’t want to kill anyone, you knew that now. But more than that, you didn’t like that he was hurt, and you couldn’t bear to see him injured any further. He was supposed to be the villain here, but he was the one comforting his attempted assassin, and the hero’s were the one ‘s who had put the knife in your hand and told you where to strike.

Good and bad weren’t simple concepts right now, they weren’t black and white. They were just red, blood red.

“In that, we have common ground. I would prefer to survive this as well.” He sassed, and against all odd you found a laugh bubbling out of your chest.

“There, that’s much better.” He crowed softly, tracing the edge of your smile with his thumb.

“Why? I hurt you. I…” You whispered against his fingertips.

“You’re not like the others, you’re not like anyone. Of all those who have hurt me, and there have been many, you are the first to show any kind of remorse. Strong enough to stab a god, and kind enough to cry for him.” He explained. “You are not like them.”

Your heart had been hanging on by a flimsy thread, but his admittance obliterated it. You could feel the fissure’s running through it, feel it tremble in your chest, and just as it was about to crumble into dust, he wrapped his arm around your waist and strode forwards, leading you with him in some kind of tragic waltz across the battlefield. Darkness fell over the two of you as he backed you into the shadows of a nearby building, pressing you further into the darkness as the sky shook and the familiar figure of Thor fell from the clouds and landed on the concrete.

Loki’s arms fell away from you and he stepped to the side, letting you see what he’d left behind. You, held aloft in his grip, eyes filled with fear. An illusion, meant for Thor.

“LOKI!” Thor bellowed. “Unhand her, and face me brother!”

“Step out of the shadows, show him you are quite safe.” Loki, the real Loki whispered.

An offer, not a challenge. One you didn’t understand the point of.

“Or?” You asked.

“Let The Avengers watch you burn into ash at my hand, and escape them and the life you so clearly do not want.”

He was offering to kill you. To have your team watch you die. A cruel offer, a dark one, but…

You didn’t want this life, he was right. And you never really had, you had only gone along with everybody else’s plans for you. You had let Earth’s Mightiest Hero’s mould you, twist you into one of them, suit you up as an Avenger, never once really telling you what that might mean. What it might cost you.

Cruel, Dark, and Justified.

“Kill me.” You hissed decisively.

They would suffer, but they would survive. You weren’t close to them, not really. There would be some guilt, a little anger, and then they would move on. They would be more affected by having lost something to Loki, than actually having lost you. So you didn’t feel a shred of guilt as illusory flames roared to life over your doppelgänger.

Thor’s roar was all rage, and not pain. His eyes were fixed upon the fake Loki, and not the smouldering remains of what he believed to be you. Loki’s illusion moved in tandem with him, both conjuring a glowing blue cube from nowhere. In the distance you saw the rest of The Avengers converge upon the scene, and you turned your back on them, concerning yourself with the only thing that mattered anymore.

“Take me away.” You begged, ripping the jacket of your super suit off and pressing it to Loki’s wound.

The hero was dead, long live whatever the hell you were going to become now.

“Come. Freedom awaits us.” Loki whispered in your ear, wrapping his arm around you once again as the world bled into blue.

Loki Taglist (Open) @myfandomlife-blog @unfriendlyrightfighter @cateyes315 @ibraggins27 @midgardian-mistress @cinnamonmouse8 @nonsensicalobsessions @sarahs-castle-of-clouds @elizabethlaufeyson @sarahs-castle-of-clouds @marvelsangels @queenneso @elizabethlaufeyson @superdoggo-39

Everything Taglist (Temporarily Open) @helloimanavenger @littleredstarfish @dilaila95 @buckysknifecollection @justellu @spnrvt @deathofmissjackson @sexyvixen7 @fairislesheets @rvgrsbrns @dahkness @riverdaleserpent04 @jazztherebel @tell-me-a-poem @hiddles-rose @severepienerdturkey @life-wanderer @unlikelygalaxygiver @fangirlwithatrowel @abo4280ooof @destiel-artemis @dilaila95 @tarastudiesalot @toxic-pineapple @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @breezy1415 @chaoticfiretaconerd @marvelfansworld @stareyedplanet @themusingsofmany @zeannastardust @littleredstarfish @sammyissassy @alexakeyloveloki @kaz22992 @randomidiot4444 @inquisitor-selvala @lianadelphius @happybookmuffin @tony-stank3 @amoonagedaydreamer @dropthepizza346 @my-drowning-in-time @belles-garden @lieswithoutfairytales @rororo06 @lookalivefrosty

#loki #loki x reader #avengers #the avengers #the avengers x reader

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kannra21 · 3 years

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Lady nagant is gonna put overhaul down like he was a rabid dog

She already said that he's useless so I wasn't expecting anything less. 😂

Actually, Nagant’s tolerance threshold is kinda all over the place rn. She understands that villains are victims of a corropted hero system because there must be some good explanation to why they did the bad thing. She really wants to believe that people should not be punished so severely, that they simply should not be killed no matter how severe the crime bc they're still human beings and this kind of torture is inhumane. Still, some villains are just assholes and they ended up in Tartarus bc they actually deserved it. Nagant can't tell the difference anymore.

On the other hand, she killed so many other heroes who did nothing wrong. They're the good guys and everything they wanted was to help the same corrupted society. But there's also corrupted heroes whom she's dealt with a good part of her life. She can't tell the difference either.

Sometimes you just can't be the judge of who's a bad or good person, who's deserving to die and who's not. Life is not divided into black and white. For instance, there's a person I hate with burning passion but this person also has friends. So we're differing in opinion; some people think that they're a good person but some think that they're not. Unfortunately, Nagant was forcely put by the Commission to decide on those things. And when you're put in this kind of situation, you're meant to lose your mind.

I know that Nagant’s deeply sorry for Overhaul from what she's said ab him being the victim of hero society and stuff. But that's her mentality, and she doesn't know him as a person. She thinks that villains aren't completely guilty of their actions and that hero society played a role in the making. He may be a good person or not. She killed so many people by now so it doesn't rly matter. She doesn't know who's the bad guy and heroes aren't trustworthy bc they wanted to kill her. She completely lost her moral compass. She's damaged.

But she also has a goal. To make the world a better place by destroying the corrupt society.

In contrast to her, Hawks knows that the hero side is the right one but he fights for the hero system to become better. It's bc HPSC is the only bad guy in the series and he knows that. He said if getting his hands dirty can somehow bring everyone peace of mind then he'd gladly take on this task. I don't think that he's planning to kill HPSC at some point but I think he's trying to expose their actions behind closed doors once he's managed to achieve his goal.

It's like Nagant wanted to use the more brutal approach to things since, yk, they traumatized her. I wish Hawks could save her somehow but she's already too deep in this shit.

I can see Hawks getting his wings back and fighting her (to see who's faster bc omg such a cool fight 👀) and Nagant ending up killed (bc that's Horikoshi's style let's be honest) but she'd, like, realize that she was wrong in the end and say smtng like "Guess I rly messed it up this time" and "Please take care of everyone, ok?"

Idk I want to see Hawks cry bc it's not her fault, HPSC made this of her and she was just a lost girl in this cruel world. I wish he'd say "And you take care of everyone up there." bc it's the most genuine way of saying that she's still a hero and that she's still a good person despite everything.

They had the same goal but they took different routes.

Before her death I just want them both to remember the times when they were young and when they played without a care in the world. To see them at the moment where their innocence wasn't taken and when they were truly happy.

Yea I like to suffer.

It's just that someone on Tumblr told me that it would be boring if everyone went to jail bc in this case there would be no action and it would be a lot more interesting to see the characters battling and perhaps fighting to death.

And I was like "Are you perhaps this dude here?"

No, ppl should go to jail bc of people like Nagant. They shouldn't be forced to kill others bc it's not right and it's messing with their heads.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #overhaul #chisaki kai #lady nagant #sniper lady #hawks #keigo takami

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gayanese · 2 years

Text

Actual serious things I loved about the Batman that sets it apart from both other Batman movies and superhero movies in general

Unlike other the other movies we are meant to question Bruce’s authority and moral compass

Bruce is severely depressed and can be downright unlikable at moments. He makes mistakes, he doesn’t know all the answers in time

There’s an amazing narrative foil between Batman and the riddler. The riddler is a villain that makes sense in more ways than one

Usage of sound and silence to emphasize Batman as a force to be reckoned with

Usage of shadows and light that we haven’t seen before in other films. He’s scary and intimidating and these things just heighten that experience

He’s already an established vigilante, no time wasted explaining his backstory

Not just a superhero film but a detective film as well, I think the soundtrack really fits the vibe of this too

This Batman is so quiet…he just observes…he doesn’t need to say anything to scare people. This Batman is very emotional and somber at the same time

Batman has to confront the reality that his current way of fighting crime is actively hurting Gotham

There’s a consistent tone. There’s no useless cameos or misplaced comic relief. It’s very relieving after so many marvel movies

#like his unlikable moments are when he’s being a bitch to Alfred but that’s it I loved him otherwise #the Batman #matt reeves #robert pattinson #mcu critical #rpatz is the best Batman hands down

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purplerose244 · 4 years

Text

My thoughts on Tales of Arcadia: Wizards 💚💚💚

LOOK OUT FOR THE SPOILERS!!!

...

SHORT VERSION

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😍😍😱😍😭😍😍😱😱😱😱😭😭😍😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😱😱😭😭😍😍😍😭😭😱😱😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😱😱😱😱😍😍😍😍😍

REGULAR VERSION

I don't know if I can fully express how emotionally exhausted I am right now. I cried. And I'm not talking about metaphorical tears or stuff like that, no-ho-ho, I'm talking real freaking tears. A roller coaster of emotions, truly. You stood by your words Aaron 👌

Douxie gets into the best protagonists I've ever seen group ASAP. Like, I knew I was going to love him but GREAT GAYLEN this is ridiculous. I WOULD DIE FOR THIS WIZARD AND HE WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO SAVE ME ANYWAY LIKE HE IS A POOR BABY WHO JUST WANTS TO BE RECOGNIZED BY HIS MASTER AND FIX EVERYTHING AND SAVE HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND AAAAAAA 🤯🤯🤯

JIAIRE 💙💜💙💜 Everything about them, from them wanting to find the other, to how much they just love each other so MUCH, to the kisses, to Claire not giving up on him, not even once. This is the ship, the OTP, the couple that went through so much yet somehow still made it. Bless them 💕💕💕

I'm biased because I love Steve and I generally don't mind comic relief, I think they are more useful than people think. That being said, yes it did feel a bit... useless? The part with Lancelot was still very cool anyway so good on that. Kinda felt like Steve found a group of dads in Camelot 😚 Also him sending that one message to Aja, that was something 😂 Can't help it liking Staja 💙💙 Although him calling out Eli so much was also very interesting 😏😏

Do I even have in me the words to fully express how amazing was Claire's arc in this? How she wanted nothing more but to save the man she loves? How she managed to get a hold onto her dark powers even though they are scary and she didn't want to become like Morgana? HOW CAN I FULLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH OF AN MVP WAS CLAIRE NUNEZ IN THIS??? 💜💜💜

Also Morgana? MORGANA??? We saw her point of view, the heart she used to have, the compassion that somehow brought her to the edge of darkness! And her redemption, AND ACTUAL!! REDEMPTION!! FOR MORGANA!! 😱😱😱😱😱 Her working with Claire, heck yeah, omg, I don't have words for such awesomeness 👌👌

Deya was glorious. I think we all kinda knew Callista was going to become the first trollhunter 😅 But she has such a strong and unique personality, and a background that makes sense for her to acquire a new identity as the first defender of the two worlds. I loved how much she connected with Jimbo, loved her A LOT 👌👌

Seeing Blinky and AAARRGGHH!! meeting for the first time and slowly building their friendship, that's the sappy stuff I'm looking for 😍😍

... wait now that I'm writing I realized, Angor Rot was there? Just that one cameo? That sounds a little suspicious 🤔

Okay sorry, I need preparation for this one *clears voice* Why is- No that's not right *cough a bit* Why is that...! No no still too low *deeply inhales* Okay so...

WHY IS THAT BEST BOY JIM ALWAYS GETS HORRIBLE STUFF THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE?!?!? 😭😭😭

The luck of this kid, my world 😞 Besides this, man that was heartwrenching, loved it even thought it hurt a lot. And the best part is that, nothing was out of character, it all made perfect sense. Jim is and remains an altruistic person, even to a fault, who would and will think about others before himself, even if that means putting himself into such danger. I think him turning back into a human will generate a bit of controversy through the fandom, which I can understand, but personally I think it makes sense how they did it IN THIS WAY. Especially since he is now without amulet, after such a strong experience, in need to reshape himself... is this why in the game he doesn't have a troll form? NOW I'M WAITING FOR THE GAME EVEN MORE!!! 😍😍😍

The bonds. The bonds, freaking, how refreshing they were? Not only we didn't get a useless triangle with Jiaire and Douxie, him and Claire had a genuine friendship and he even taught her magic! And Archie was MAGNIFICENT?? 😭😭 Fully supportive, so close to Douxie, he clearly loves him dearly and wants only the best for him I LOVE THIS FAMILIAR SO MUCH 😍😍😍

And then Merlin... Wizards actually managed to make me feel sorry for him. And I would like to applaude the season for not making him fully good, like just because it was proved he cares about others doesn't mean he is not the known jerk that thinks about "the bigger picture" first before actual lives. Toby said it that nobody likes him (I know it was a joke but there is a bit of truth for me), Claire clearly despised him, even Douxie said it at the end that he wasn't perfect. But I think half his entire kind of redemption was right into his last words. He said his greatest accomplishment was saving Douxie. The greatest magician of all times said he did better saving a "nobody" than stuff like helping prevent the Eternal Night, or saving Camelot. I think he realized there the real bigger picture, and that actually made it hard for me to watch him pass. I really thought if he was ever going to die in the show, I would've been ecstatic 😅 But no, it felt like he died right when he was understanding. And that hurt... dang it TOA crew, playing with my heart!

But what hurt the most was just how much Merlin meant to Douxie. He was everything. His master. His friend. His father even. Not the perfect one, but one that made him who he is. He gave him a purpose, a path to follow, and a reason to be. And at the end he was someone who was even glad to see Douxie making choices different from his, like he was happy to see him taking a different path... I cried okay 😢

I know a lot of people were hoping and got rewarded to see Zoe involved, me included 😂 Didn't really explain much of the relationship between her and Doux, maybe another time? Still nice to see her pink hair again 💕💕💕

If any of you heard some kind of strong explosion coming from the general direction of Italy... that was me after seeing Krel again 😅😅 I am disappointed that he was barely involved (although him tinkering with Akiridion tech and magic was DOPE LET HIM DO MORE OF THAT) but apparently there's a movie coming next year so I'm guessing that one will show the arc Diego told us about?... I WANNA SEE MY LITTLE BOY IN ACTION AGAIN 💙💙💙💙

Also too bad Toby also didn't have that much of a role, hopefully they will fix that in the next installation 👍

I did like the Arcane Order, they all have cool as heck powers and amazing designs. With that being said, it felt like there's still stuff to discover? I freaked out for a month because of Skreal since he looked so much like an Akiridion, but Krel didn't acknowledge that? Is it just a coincidence? It didn't help the fact that they even have a similar name 😅 Also fire pal there had a mask... maybe it's just me but in my opinion masks should always be there because of a reveal. And they seemed pretty unknown. I loved these villains, they are cool as HECK and Skreal cracked me up 🤣 It just feels like we still don't know much about them

Also Nari is absolutely adorable and cute and PRECIOUS and I'm happy she's with Douxie and has that super cute disguise omg so freaking CUTE 💚💚💚

What a ride. What. A. Ride. I'm more than ever looking forward to this movie, because I hope we'll get Akiridions fully into this. Is this why the Genesis Seals are made of three parts? That would make sense

... wait wasn't Jim's dad supposed to be revealed here? Did I miss something? Or is it for the movie? I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS!!! 😱😱 The movie might actually be like a second season of Wizards. This one presented Douxie, the next one will be the final fusion of all the three franchises. CAN'T. WAIT. NOW ONTO THE VIDEOGAME 😍

FULL EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER 😭😭😭 Amazing, really amazing, and I'm really happy it's not the last we've seen of this franchise. The end will come, but not today my friends 😉

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abysslarchiving · 3 years

Text

since i run kaeya on a physical dps build and do equip him with two pieces of bloodstained chivalry, i’m going to headcanon that the bloodstained knight was someone that he did idolise and base his fighting technique off. although, becoming more similar to the bloodstained knight as he got older made kaeya realise the story wasn’t all it was chalked up to be. becoming similar to the bloodstained knight meant having a price to pay.

kaeya’s multiplier is, objectively, one of the best in the game out of the sword users ( no, i will not be taking constructive criticism ). physical dps builds are recommended if you’d like some lovely numbers, and i thought wouldn’t it be fun to make use of how powerful kaeya’s attacks are when paid attention to. on top of that ! kaeya’s fighting style is not entirely from mondstadt. he is the only knight whose fighting style is named “ ceremonial bladework ” and not “ favonius bladework. “

when left in mondstadt, it was not only his father and diluc that compelled kaeya to become a knight of favonius, but the story of the bloodstained knight, which is a khaenri’ahn fairytale.

most likely rooted in truth, kaeya came to idolise this story and the knight the myth was most likely based of.

this is the lore found on “ bloodstained final hour. ”

a timepiece once used by a knight. the liquid inside has dried up, rendering it useless.

deep in the abyss, where celestial bodies cast no light,

the bloodstained knight kept this timepiece, though time had lost all meaning.

at an end was the bloodstained knight's story, for he realised there was no place for him on this earth. he ventured into the fallen ancient kingdom, and died in battle in the monsters' lair. at the bottom of the world, he learned the origin of the monsters that destroyed the ancient kingdom.

" the ancient kingdom was wrongfully cursed, "

" turning its inhabitants into monsters. "

" the code of chivalry tolerates not such injustice. "

" if abyss be thy name, i pledge to you my loyalty. "

similarities to kaeya made me want to look into the other aspects of the bloodstained chivalry set.

a dried flower stained black with blood and now as hard as steel. probably some sort of a memento for its former master.

a common white flower given to the knight by a rescued damsel.

it is dried and hardened by the blood from all his bloodshed.

thanking him for his valour, the damsel offered a reward.

he turned down all she gave, save for a pure white flower.

" for a knight, chivalry is its own reward. "

"this flower shall be my medal. that is all I need."

he wore the flower upon his heart.

like his armour, it was stained as black as a winter's night.

like his heart, it was hardened like a tempered blade.

i thought that it was interesting how they compared this blood stained flower to a tempered blade, a winter’s knight, when kaeya is known as the frostblade, how he is known to use both words and weapons, to be warm and cold at the same time, how his innocence as a child was quite literally stained with blood as and ! his name means flower, so this would draw comparisons to a flower that was once innocent stained with blood, stained with war. i just think that a younger kaeya would be able to identify with the bloodstained knight because of such similar motifs.

a raven feather pinned to a knight's cape. countless bloodstains have dyed it pitch black.

One of the countless raven feathers stuck to the Bloodstained Knight.

For where there is blood, ravens shall follow.

In the end the bloodstained knight could no longer tell whether the blood that stained him was his own or that of his enemies.

eventually, on his long journey filled with bloodshed, he came to a realisation:

his path of so-called chivalry had turned him from the white knight he used to be into the monster he had now become.

his only followers were the ravens drawn to the bloodshed he left in his wake.

kaeya canonically sees himself as an antihero. he keeps others at bay, even those that he treasures. on top of that, his stance as someone who was planted in mondstadt, someone who has a role in a more ancient plot, has rendered him unable to make meaningful connections and i think that might also be because of the fear they might become hurt. add onto that that kaeya is khaenri’ahn, a so called “ sinner ” and someone who is still under the effects of the khaenri’ahn curse. he is a knight has ever reason to become a villain, why wouldn’t he understand the bloodstained knight’s story ?

the dark metallic vessel owned by the bloodstained knight. it’s exterior has been stained as black as the night by smoke and coagulated blood.

originally an exquisite silver goblet with gold engravings depicting the feats of a chivalrous knight.

but blood and smoke have stained the cup beyond recognition.

covered in blood, the knight who slayed demons returned from the scourged battlefield, only to find that those awaiting his rescue were nowhere to be found among the collapsed houses.

defeated, the bloodstained knight took the smoke-blackened goblet, and vowed to rid the world of monsters, of poverty, and of evil.

i couldn’t twist this into kaeya’s perspective at first but !! if you look at the “world” in the perspective of “khaenri’ah” then it does make a little more sense coming from that. kaeya, sacrificing the person who he’s become in order to rid khaenri’ah of monsters ? i can see it. i can see it so clearly.

the iron mask the knight used to conceal their identity. many have speculated about the face behind the mask.

a luxurious platinum mask that once belonged to a knight of noble birth.

the dark stains of dry blood are now a permanent part of its appearance.

as the bloodstained knight reached out to help a person in need after slaying the monster. the way she cowered in fear made the knight realise: He was now a monster himself. Tainted by the blood and cruelty of his drawn-out war.

"Shield me from the eyes."

"Of those I vowed to protect."

"And shield them the horrors I am bound to effect."

listen, i mean, c’mon, that knight of noble birth line ??? “ prince kaeya ? ” of course i’m going to latch onto that bit. also, the idea of a monstrous knight is one i love completely. kaeya, and the blood of those from khaenri’ah turning into monsters is already canon. but, kaeya’s shifty morality when it comes to sacrificing ideals for goals ? kaeya dealing with those he will hurt if he chooses khaenri’ah over mond ? kaeya who is already nonchalant about appearing like a bad guy in order to achieve results ? kaeya already has the makings of a monster with only common sense and compassion for those that he cares about holding him back, if you wanted to see it that way. i feel as if kaeya has a capacity for choosing either side, and reasons to protect both of them, so maybe he also sees the bloodstained knight as someone he doesn’t want to be like, even though he once idolised the story of a knight who would go so far to protect what he deemed was important.

#headcanons.

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hajimes-erect-ahoge · 3 years

Text

lovely. - Chapter one

Forget-Me-Nots. A symbol of true love and fidelity. Its blue petals are soft to touch, yet sting and scratch as they claw their way out of one's throat.

Falling in love during a killing game was less than ideal, but there was little to be done about it. All that Ouma could do was hack up delicate little flower petals and shove them under his bed, and inevitably elsewhere when they became too numerous, knowing that no one cared enough about him to visit him and spot the damning evidence.

After all, all is fair in love and war.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease where, as a result of unrequited love, flowers grow in the victim's lungs. This makes it difficult to breathe, the victim coughing up flower petals until their inevitable demise. Of course, there is an alternative to this: There is a surgery in which the flowers are removed, as well as the feelings of love that the victim felt. If the unrequited love turns out to be requited the flowers will also cease growing, although this is rare.

ao3

Kokichi Ouma was many things: bright, intelligent, and mischievous. He had grown up without any substantial parental figures in his life, living on the streets with his group of pranksters that served as his found family. Dubbing himself the leader of this group of children, he proudly led them wherever the wind took them as they committed petty crimes, never doing anything that could actually be harmful to another human being. They may have been pranksters, but they weren’t animals.

And neither was Ouma. Murder was strictly forbidden amongst his group, as Ouma had decreed himself. Kokichi Ouma was a petty theft and vandalizer, not a murderer, nor would he ever be one.

So when Ouma found himself standing in front of a monochromatic bear telling him and fifteen other strangers to kill each other he was, to say the least, disturbed.

Ouma was also an incredibly selfless person. When they were out on the streets, Ouma did anything he could to bear the brunt of their adversity, even if it meant putting his life at stake. Even if he barely knew these people and had no attachment to them whatsoever, his strong disdain for killing compelled him to sacrifice himself for the sake of the group.

Now, sacrificing himself does not explicitly mean giving his life. Not yet, at least. Not when there were far too many other things he had to sacrifice first: his own safety and physical well-being, his happiness, and, above all, his sanity.

But, of course, he couldn’t tell anyone about his plans to do so. His innate distrust of others getting the better of him, he remained silent, waiting until he could be alone and develop his plan further.

For now, he accompanied the others in the underground tunnel they had found, seeking an escape route. He knew it was pointless from the start; There’s no way their captors would leave any means of escape for them, let alone one handed to them on a silver platter. But he tried anyway, if only to prove to the others that it was useless when they failed to believe him.

Akamatsu had quickly emerged as the leader of the group, encouraging all of them to step into the dark and mysterious tunnel presented before them. When they failed, she would give an inspirational speech that filled them with enough optimism to try again. This occurred again and again, the fact that this escape route was a dead end becoming more and more apparent.

Everyone was both physically and mentally tired, especially Ouma. Yet Akamatsu kept insisting that they try again, much to the dismay of the others. She must’ve been desperate to escape this place, and Ouma couldn’t blame her. However, her overly optimistic attitude of trying to hold hands and be friends with everyone was destined to fail, as would her plans of attempting to halt the killing game.

Ouma was a realist; He knew that the killing game would take place regardless, and he would have to incorporate that into his plan. If they didn’t cooperate and kill each other, their captors would find a way to coerce them into doing so. His only option was to try and stay alive long enough to flip the script on whoever was running this damned game, even if that meant committing some atrocious acts along the way.

Solidifying the implications of this in his mind, he turned back to Akamatsu. She was about to give another spiel about teamwork and cooperation and how they should try to escape through the tunnel again when Ouma cut her off, telling her to knock it off already.

Akamatsu seemed taken aback, completely unaware of what she was putting the others through. He had to admit, her blind optimism and compelling leadership wasn’t boring, at least. But he could only sit back and take this brutal torture for so long, being forced to cater to her desperate hopefulness.

When he explained that to her she recoiled, prompting him to continue, stating that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way. While the others corroborated his statement, Akamatsu appeared to be on the verge of tears. He couldn’t show any compassion for her, as he quickly slipped into the role of the villain and vaguely suggested that they just go through with the killing game instead.

The horrified reactions of the others were abruptly cut off by the nighttime announcement, the Monokubz bantering with one another in an obnoxious manner. After the announcement, Ouma himself proposed meeting in the dining hall the next morning to discuss their current situation, to which the others agreed. While the rest of the group complained about having to sleep in the rooms given to them, Ouma chuckled internally. He knew he would be sleeping very little, if at all, as he was too focused on his plan to overthrow the killing game.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ouma paced in his room, trying not to freak out too much as the reality of being trapped in a killing game settled in his mind. He was being proactive about it, already forming a plan to ruin this horrid game, so at least he had that to comfort himself.

While the others had yet to acknowledge it, there was a great possibility that there was a spy amongst them, reporting back to Monokuma and aiding in the facilitation of the killing game. Because of this, Ouma had even more of a reason to trust no one, as anyone could be a potential traitor.

Blaming Akamatsu was the first step in a very intricate plan. This would create a divide in the group, caused solely by him. Being the source of that divide, he would emerge as an opposing force to Akamatsu, their leader. His plan was, essentially, to gradually solidify himself in the role of the villain, thwarting the plans of the others to work together while secretly forming his own plan to save everyone.

Acting as the villain served two main purposes: One, to isolate himself from the others and ensure that they would not be aware of his plan (including the mastermind), and two, to have the group unite against a common enemy, strengthening their bonds. All of Ouma’s actions would culminate in him revealing himself as the dreaded mastermind that hid amongst the group, allowing him to fill the others with enough despair to bring the killing game to a hard stop.

An additional factor aiding in his plan to pose as the villain was his facetious personality and astounding ability to lie. He would present himself to the group as a trickster, lying left and right in an attempt to throw them off from what he was truly scheming, with the added bonus of hiding his true feelings behind a fake smile. No one would need to know how much he was suffering or how much he truly hated killing, instead believing his grand lie that he loved killing and found this killing game entertaining. In the end, his true feelings were irrelevant as long as he could save as many of the others as possible.

Now that he had the general scheme of his plan figured out, he would have to get into the specifics of how exactly to make the group believe he was evil enough to be the mastermind. If they didn’t think he was evil, they would never believe his declaration that he was the mastermind, so he would have to commit as many horrible acts as possible in order to get his plan to work.

Deciding that his plan was getting rather complicated, he figured it would help to have some sort of place to keep track of things. It was the middle of the night by now, so he travelled to the warehouse of the academy to obtain some supplies in secret.

A few trips back and forth to the warehouse allowed Ouma to collect a whiteboard, dry erase markers, a handful of notebooks, pencils, pens, regular markers, and many other supplies. He also took the time to obtain printed out pictures of each of the other students, using magnets to attach them to the whiteboard. There, he would keep track of who killed who as well as his thoughts about the other students, though he left it blank for now aside from the pictures.

Deciding that it was too risky to detail his plan on paper, he settled for doodling dozens of childlike drawings to serve as distractions for when he started putting things down on paper for real. Eventually he got tired and fell asleep on the floor, refusing to sleep in a bed that was given to him by the same people that kidnapped and trapped him here.

~~~~~~~~~~

When the group met in the dining hall the next morning, Ouma was sure to bring up the fact that Akamatsu had gotten upset at them for giving up yesterday, blatantly ignoring how he was the first one to blame her. A few of the others rallied against him, pointing out exactly that, but Ouma just responded with theatrical crocodile tears, satisfied that his plan to unite the others against him was beginning to surface.

Appearing out of thin air, Monokuma came to announce the first motive: The First Blood Perk. This had the other students realizing that Monokuma was trying to tank Akamatsu’s plan to stop the murders, just as Ouma had expected. Regardless of that realization, a murder was bound to happen anyway; All that Ouma could do was distance himself from the others until he could execute his plan in full.

As Monokuma continued to spew his typical bullshit, the Monobukz also appeared, just as suddenly as Monokuma had. One thing led to another and the situation escalated, causing the Exisals to be taken out. Monokuma was promptly crushed by an Exisal, Ouma taking the opportunity to state that the killing game was obviously over now, but of course he knew that was false. If what the Monokubz said was true and there really was a machine that could create more Monokumas, that would only confirm Ouma’s suspicions that there was a traitor among them as someone would have to activate that machine. Now completely confident in his plan to thwart the killing game, Ouma exited the dining hall with the others, heading back to his room to ruminate on his plan.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monokuma reappeared the next morning in the dining hall, just as Ouma had expected. But what he announced to them next was something that not even Ouma could predict: the time limit motive. If no murders occurred within two days' time, Monokuma would supposedly eliminate all of the students forced to participate in the killing game. As panic surged through the group Ouma excused himself, paying no mind to the suspicious looks he garnered. In fact, he preferred those suspicious looks as opposed to any other, as they paved him the perfect path for his eventual mastermind reveal.

Being as intelligent and observant as he is, Ouma didn’t miss the specific word choice used by Monokuma when announcing the motive. Saying that he would eliminate all the students forced to participate in this killing game implied that there was someone amongst them who wasn’t forced to participate but rather had willingly joined, hence their role as the mastermind. This cemented the fact that there was a traitor in Ouma’s mind, causing him to be even less distrustful of the group.

Arriving at his room, Ouma wasted no time in locking the door behind him and heading to his whiteboard. He spent ample time staring at each picture and debating whether or not said individual had a possibility of being the mastermind, eventually landing on Akamatsu’s picture. There was a very low probability of her being the mastermind, though it was still a possibility, he supposed.

Ouma wasn’t quite sure how he felt about Akamatsu. Her blind faith in others and trust in them to work together was pretty annoying, but it was admirable as well. He wondered how far she would be willing to go in order to protect the others…

There was also that boring detective who was practically glued to Akamatsu’s side, clinging to her for support. The boy’s ultimate talent had caught his interest at first, but Saihara had turned out to be quite boring in reality. He could barely get two words out while looking someone in the eye, relying on that stupid hat of his to block his vision. The chances of him being the mastermind were low as well, Saihara being way too awkward and dependent on others for something like that.

The next few hours were spent by Ouma in his room, drafting out some inventions on pieces of scrap paper that he could potentially bring to Iruma. If she accepted his requests, he could have a remote controlling the Exisals that would help to back up his later statement that he was the mastermind, as well as some other helpful tools. He spent a good amount of time thinking of potential inventions, as well as fake ones to throw off anyone who happened to get inside his room.

Once he was done with that, he set about exploring the academy and searching for more clues. This was by no means a simple endeavor, as the campus was quite large. But over the course of the next two days until the time limit expired, he found some interesting things around the academy. The most notable of these being what seemed to be the code to a safe, the location of which was unknown to him at the time. Although he didn’t know what the codes were for, he had a feeling that they were a vital clue to the secret of this academy.

He searched all over, spending all of his free time investigating every nook and cranny of the academy. But it was no use; He was unable to find a place to input the codes he had found. Unsure of what to do with the mysterious codes for now, he placed them in the back of his mind, promising to himself to come back to them later.

The day that the time limit was supposed to expire started out particularly not boring, as there had been a scuffle in the dining hall. Hoshi was going on and on about sacrificing himself so that his killer could claim the First Blood Perk and go get help for the others, much to the horror of his classmates. Ouma remained unperturbed, however, heading out to the courtyard when things got particularly heated. If Hoshi had a plan to help everyone survive, who was Ouma to try and stop him? With the time limit just around the corner, he had other matters to busy himself with, such as trying to find a quicker plan to put an end to this killing game.

~~~~~~~~~~

For someone who bragged about how fun this killing game was, Ouma was truly bored out of his mind. Spending all of his free time alone investigating and spending his time with the others lying through his teeth about how he felt… None of it was the slightest bit entertaining. It was sick, twisted and cruel, just like this killing game they were forcefully thrust into.

When Ouma heard the body discovery announcement he was, unsurprisingly, in his room sifting through all of the blueprints he had drawn up. According to the announcement, the body was in the library, so Ouma put down whatever he was doing and headed there as quickly as possible. A nervous rush washed over him at the thought of someone actually being dead, but he couldn’t help but admit that he was curious as to who had bit the bullet.

Rushing into the library along with the others, Ouma saw nothing at first except for a group of the other students gathered in the back. He approached and saw Amami’s body, causing his blood to run cold. There was a copious amount of blood pooling around his head, his body lying limp on the ground. Ouma was no stranger to violence, his past having exposed him to enough of that, but he still experienced immense distaste at the thought of one of his classmates being dead. But despite his internal disgust, he plastered a bright smile onto his face, acting as if he were having the time of his life in this high-stakes killing game.

Soon enough, Monokuma appeared and handed out what he called “Monokuma Files” to aid their investigation, leaving as quickly as he showed up. Ouma quickly read it over, heading back into the main area of the school. Akamatsu was saying something about how everyone had to investigate with at least one other person, but Ouma ignored this. They couldn’t force him to stick with someone else, so he felt free to investigate as he pleased.

Hearing footsteps approaching, Ouma turned around to see Akamatsu heading in his direction with Saihara trailing behind. He gave them a cheeky smile, the mask he wore around the others prevailing as usual.

Akamatsu berated him for investigating without a partner, blatantly disobeying what the group had agreed on. Ouma laughed at this, acting as if he were having the time of his life being reprimanded by her. Next, Saihara came forward and asked Ouma what he was doing at the time of the murder. This caught his attention, as Saihara, as far as he knew, was never one to take the initiative when talking to others. Being with Akamatsu must have empowered him, giving him a temporary sense of confidence as he looked Ouma straight in the eye. Maybe Saihara wasn’t as boring as he thought.

After he refused to answer any of their questions truthfully, the duo gave up and went in search of more clues. Ouma watched them scurry away, feeling a bit jealous of their closeness before shoving these thoughts out of his mind. A killing game was no place for friendships or romance, he thought. Ignoring the crippling loneliness he felt, he headed off to investigate on his own.

~~~~~~~~~~

The class trial came quicker than expected, and Ouma could feel his heart pounding in his chest as they rode the elevator down to the trial grounds. With just one small mistake the lives of everyone still standing would be endangered, a frightening thought. They would have to be absolutely flawless in their deductions if they wanted to survive, though the murderer themself would still be executed. It was a lose-lose situation; Either way, this trial would end with less people than it started with.

When they arrived at the trial grounds, Monokuma directed them all to their assigned podiums. The attention was immediately drawn to Ouma as a result of his “suspicious talent” as well as his penchant for lying, but it was quickly brushed off. Suspicion bounced around from one student to another, Akamatsu defending each and every one of them in the pursuit for the truth. The revelation of the fact that the cameras had thirty second intervals before they could take another picture immediately directed the suspicion towards Saihara, who did little to defend himself. Fortunately for him, Akamatsu stepped in once more to defend him more fervently than she had defended the others, even lying on his behalf.

Ouma himself was pretty convinced that Saihara was the culprit and that Akamatsu was just in denial, lying to protect his innocence out of disbelief that he was the culprit. But when the shy and timid Saihara brazenly stated that Akamatsu was the culprit even Ouma was in disbelief. It was like a new side of the detective had come out, and although it had pained him to say it, he sounded more confident than ever when he said those words.

As the trial went on, Saihara proved without fault that Akamatsu was the culprit, along with many tears from the both of them. When voting time was upon them, Ouma reluctantly voted for Akamatsu. Not only were they losing another student, but they were losing their ever so optimistic leader who fiercely united them against Monokuma. She had entrusted her wish to Saihara, but would he be able to replace the void that she left?

Akamatsu’s attempts to kill the mastermind were noteworthy enough that Ouma deemed her as being “not boring” before she was executed, a high compliment coming from him. But although she was determined to expose the mastermind, the decision to kill that crossed her mind had essentially made her lose the game and play exactly into Monokuma’s hands. Ouma would be different; Instead, he would win this killing game and defy Monokuma’s wishes outright.

As Akamatsu discussed her motive for killing, Ouma openly chastised himself for being useless, to which Saihara immediately pointed out that he was simply pretending and to drop the act. Something about the detective’s mannerisms had changed, leaving him a new person, and Ouma was, to say the least, very fond of that change. He was intelligent, quickly catching on to Ouma’s lying charade and exposing his act in front of the others, and did so without remorse.

Although it may seem counterintuitive to his habit of lying, Ouma was secretly wishing that someone would come along that was able to see through his lies and realize his true nature. This, of course, would put a serious dent in his plans to overthrow the killing game, so Ouma reminded himself not to get too close to the boy. While he could admire him from afar, pursuing any sort of relationship was absolutely out of the question. Not that he was interested in someone like Ouma anyway, as he obviously was enraptured by Akamatsu.

Speaking of Akamatsu, she was about to be executed, which was sure to be another unnecessarily gruesome sight. Ouma’s final words to Akamatsu were that she hadn’t been boring, which he truly meant. After everyone gave their final words to Akamatsu she entrusted her wish to all of them, a wish that even Ouma took to heart, regardless of how he acted on the outside.

The execution itself was only a few minutes long, but they were the most excruciating minutes of Ouma’s life. Being forced to watch Akamatsu meet her demise in such a gory way was difficult, but he managed to get through it with minimal cracks in his facade.

Ouma stood there silently along with the remaining classmates, still in utter disbelief of what they had just witnessed. But regardless of how in shock they were, there was no ignoring the fact that Akamatsu was dead and they had to move on. Suppressing the swirl of unpleasant emotions he felt, Ouma smiled cheerfully as if nothing was wrong. He acted as a bystander as Momota punched Saihara for not dealing with Akamatsu’s death like a man, simply allowing the others to grieve as they needed to in their own, strange ways.

As for how Ouma would grieve, the answer was simple: he wouldn’t. He had no time to grieve as he busied himself with his mastermind plan, at least, not in front of the others. Shedding a few tears while he was by himself in his room wasn’t completely off the table, but Ouma had other, much more important things to do in the meantime.

Once he was sure that no one else was around, Ouma snuck off into the courtyard with a marker in hand. He quickly scribbled the code “horse a” on a stone in the courtyard in a perfectly diagonal formation, leaving space for the other letters he so intricately planned on adding later. After that, he headed to the boiler room and found a spot obscured by some plants, scribbling the code “twins b” on the wall. He then hurried back to his room, having successfully carried out this part of his plan.

Now back in his room, Ouma jotted down the words “This is not a will” on the back of an envelope, putting the important information regarding the codes in the envelope. He left it somewhere where it was sure to be found if someone investigated his room, not wanting his efforts to go without results. The probability that he would live was low, so it was essential to leave these clues for the others to aid them in their quest to defeat the mastermind.

Collapsing onto the bed, Ouma shut his eyes, but only for a few seconds. He couldn’t allow himself to sleep, as he had much more important things to be doing regarding his plan, but a few moments of rest did feel a bit relaxing.

So much had happened in one day, and Ouma was having a hard time processing all of it. Amami and Akamatsu were dead, and there was no bringing them back, no matter what. They had lost the mysterious boy who couldn’t even remember his own talent and seemed to know more than he let on, as well as the girl who united everyone against a common threat. Now that she was gone, Saihara would have to fill her shoes, however hard that may be for him.

After giving himself a moment of silence to mourn Amami and Akamatsu properly, Ouma got back to work, finalizing his invention designs. The night would be long, boring and lonely, but when was it not? He couldn’t afford to get close to any of the other students here, as that would only intensify the pain he felt upon losing them. But most importantly, he didn’t want them suffering if he inevitably lost his life to this game, pushing them away as much as possible so that they would shed no tears upon his demise. For now, his demise was only a possibility, but his plan could change at any moment depending on what information he was given.

Repressing all of his current thoughts, Ouma prepared himself to get back to work on his plan. He had no time to waste, so he busied himself once more, ignoring the faint itch at the back of his throat that persisted in bothering him. Paying no mind to it, he set about making another few dozen fake invention blueprints, completely ignorant to what the universe had in store for him.

#yay its here!#hehe #lovely #my writing #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #kaede akamatsu #kaito momota #maki harukawa #saimatsu #saiouma #oumasai

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