#and thats why i forgive how embarrassing youre being right here and now

[animentality]

Nice try at a roast, kid. People actually like my writing though. I got three r/nosleep stories on the front page. What is you got? A book nobody wants to read? Kek you wokies are delusional. By the frickin way... my pronouns are fuck/you so don't misgender me!

oh my god guys, i've never gotten an ask that reeked so strongly of reddit

i could smell this guy coming from 2000 miles away.

a good thing too, because i sure am terrified of reddit toughguys. gotta pack my bags and get my things, or else he might give me a lecture on how minorities such as Women in video games signal the end of civilization as we know it.

he might Just Tell Me How It Is, or say Facts Don't Care About My Feelings, or even call me a Kid again. How will I ever recover?

[pacifymebby]

Looking After You When You're Drunk // Peaky Blinders

Tommy

🌿Youre probably drinking because of him

🌿You argued and you got so upset and pissed off at him, so the girls took you out for a drink to get away from "bloody men"

🌿But you drank quicker than you realised. Thats the problem with drinking for melancholy and spite, you lose yourself

🌿So in the end Ada takes you back to the house, youre crying on her shoulder in the back of the car, you tell her you hate her brother and shes comforting you, "aye love, dont we all..."

🌿 When Tommy sees you hes annoyed but he feels immediate guilt. He knows hes the reason youre so upset.

🌿"Cmere angel ive got you," he says with a sigh taking you from Ada's arms. "Can you walk? No, alright then, here we go," he says as he lifts you up bridal style in his arms to carry you upstairs to bed.

🌿 If youre sick he sits with you in the bathroom, holding your hair back, rubbing your back and reassuring you.

🌿"s'alright little angel you're alright, get it all up yeah and then we'll go to bed,"

🌿Doesnt let you go to bed dirty. Undressed you carefuly, sits you in the bath and washes you gently with warm water and a soft cloth.

🌿Youre still tearful and upset, and the kinder he is to you the more upset you are. Youre feeling embarrassed for being so childish and getting yourself in such a state.

🌿"m'sorry tommy" between hiccups. Him telling you not to apologise, you insisting that you have to. Him finally giving in, "alright, alright angel if it means so much to you, i forgive you... Calm down now though eh? No more tears?"

🌿 He helps you out of the tub and towels you dry, his big hands holding your waist, being gentle and tender with you as he dries you off.

🌿Lets you drunk cry into his shirt, hold you and shushes you, hes tired but hes being patient with you because he knows hes guilty of causing you this pain.

🌿"You're alright y/n, you and me we're alright eh? Was only a little fight, no more tears now?"

🌿"Atta girl" or "theres a good girl," when you finally hush and dry your eyes. He'll dry them for you with his thumbs and ask for a smile.

🌿Carries you to bed and lays you down very gently, opens his arms up for you to crawl into so that he can hold you to his chest and stroke your hair til you fall asleep.

🌿He knows its his fault you were upset but he still feels the need to talk to you about what happened, how you need to look after yourself, not drink too much.

Alfie

🐻"Listen right, my ziskeit, i dont mind you drinkin away your troubles from time to time and getting well, look at you ey, youre absolutely fucked, i dont mind that not one bit... I'm a modern man me, I know you young ladies drink just as much as the men these days but... I really wish you wouldn't spend your hard earned money yeah... On that shite,"

🐻 Because youre drunk on Shelby gin.

🐻 "Look at you yeah? The gin - and im not surprised by this one bit right cause you and me both know what gins all about - has gone and made you fuckin miserable and now... Me here, your adoring old man, I'm gonna have to cheer you up."

🐻He feigns frustration and impatience, puts on his grumpy old man act, but really hes pleased its him who gets to look after you. Hed rather him than any other bastard.

🐻 Hes gentle with you when you inevitably start to cry. "Sorry Alfie, please don't hate me," youre very upset because you think you have actually pissed him off.

🐻 He chuckles and softens, holds you in his arms, your head fitting perfectly in the palms of his big hands. He strokes his fingers through your hair and kisses your forehead.

🐻 "Hate you? Is that all its sposed to take is it? To hate you? You listen here alright treacle, you listen to me now alright, i - thats me here yeah, this grumpy old, heartless man - i could never hate you, thats just ridiculous... It could never happen... You know why?"

🐻 "Cause right, and this might come as a shock to you yeah so just you brace yourself little one, cause i love you" points his pointer right to the tip of your nose, makes drunk you go cross eyed which he thinks is very cute. "and love and hate yeah, well i reckon they just dont work together, those are what you and i, would call opposites..."

🐻 He carries on with this speech whilst he helps you undress, he makes you sit down on the edge of the bed and gets you a glass of water to drink slowly. "Slow sips remember lovely, we dont want you making yourself sick..."

🐻 Mentioning sick was probably a mistake, he sees that when your eyes waver and you wobble a little. Luckily hes got a bucket to hand for this very eventuality.

🐻 Affectionately tells you youre a mess, "what am i gonna do with you ey flower, what ever am i going to do with you..."

🐻 Washes your face with a warm cloth and makes sure you have finished your water. Pours another glass because he knows you don't sleep well when youre drunk so youll definitely wake up thirsty in the night.

🐻 He also wants to have you sleep on his chest so that he can stroke your hair and continue to take care of you. But its also because if youre sleeping on his chest, he'll better be able to tell if you need him.

🐻 He puts a record on playing quietly, and hums softly along to it whilst playing with your hair. He's waiting to make sure you fall asleep first so that he can be there if you need him.

🐻 You don't get a lecture the next day, but he does make you promise that next time you'll drink his rum instead.

Arthur

🍂 Ever since you started seeing Arthur youve been getting worse and worse when it comes to getting intoxicated.

🍂Hes a bad influence on you that much is certain. Its his snow you get fucked up on, you drink his alcohol in his bars...

🍂 But he wouldnt have you drink and get fucked up anywhere else, anywhere he couldn't keep an eye on you.

🍂Youve most likely been partying together so hes probably pretty drunk too.

🍂Stumbling home together, falling into the back of a cab and then falling back out of it again when you get to his house. Him struggling with the key in the lock, gets frustrated tries to kick his own front door in, until you step in and help.

🍂You both get pretty needy when youre drunk and you can't keep your hands off eachother, but when Arthur sees your eyes roll back into your head before youve even made it upstairs he decides thats enough fun for now. Occasionally hes capable of being responsible.

🍂"Alright now love alright... Got to get you to bed yeah, thats right, got to get you nice and snug tucked up in your bed..."

🍂Has to hold you up, probably has to carry you up the stairs. Sits you on the counter by the bathroom sink and takes your clothes off as carefully as he can.

🍂 Tries to get you in your slip but because youre drunk you just giggle and laugh and play with him.

🍂 "Whatre you tryin get me dressed for? Silly Arthur youre so silly..."

🍂 He knows theres no point trying to talk sense into you so he gives in. He helps you brush your teeth which is also very difficult because you think the whole thing is hilarious.

🍂 You are so giggly and adorable that it is hard for him to stay mad at you, even when you are frustrating him by not letting him take care of you.

🍂 Hes exhausted by the time he finally gets you to bed. Collapses onto the bed with you, spoons you and talks to you.

🍂 "Arthur," you also get really whiny when youre drunk, "Arthur the rooms spinning,"

🍂 "No, its not sweetheart, the rooms not spinning,youre alright," be he knows you wont be able to sleep lying down because itll make you sick, so he sits himself up and pulls you up into his arms, has you sitting in his lap, head leaning on his shoulder which is where you fall asleep.

🍂 Him dozing off eventually, waking up with a stiff neck. Luckily youve woken up feeling much better and have cooked him breakfast. Its your turn to take care of him now.

John

🌼Doesnt like it when you get too drunk so you are in trouble.

🌼You try to hide it from him but its impossible, especially when not 2 minutes after excusing yourself to go to the bathroom are you being violently unwell.

🌼Johns frustrated you got yourself into such a state and he'll be having firm words with Ada and Lizzie about being bad influences on you.

🌼But as annoyed as he might be, when he hears you being sick he feels sorry for you and rushes to help you.

🌼 Will sit with you, holding your hair back, will put a towel between you and the toilet edge to stop you from hurting yourself.

🌼 Will tell you ten times minimum "I dont feel sorry for you you know love," but he does, and the more he says that the more you know its true,he does.

🌼Worries about you when you get this drunk because he worries youll get into some kind of trouble and not be able to help yourself.

🌼 If you get emotional he isnt going to let you stay sad, he's going to bundle you up in his arms and carry you to bed, probably smothering you with kisses, kissing you all over until youre giggling and half heartedly trying to fight him off.

🌼 When youre feeling better hes going to have to think of how to punish you for being so bad

🌼 But for now hes going to make sure he looks after you as best he can.

🌼 Makes you tea and tells you to drink it, has to help you hold the mug because you're half asleep.

🌼 You know youre in trouble so you try to be sweet to him to get him to forgive you, "know how much i love you john?" "thissssss much" holding your hands as far apart as they'll reach like a child. He has to admit you are very cute.

🌼 Struggles to get you to settle down at first, but once hes got you into bed, wrapped up in his arms, you pass out instantly.

Bonnie

🍀Really wishes you wouldn't try to keep up with the older lads when you drink. Youre so small it hits you twice as hard and this isnt the first time youve wound up needing carried home.

🍀Hes over protective of you too, when Isaiah or Michael tries to offer to help you home Bonnie won't let them. Hes the one who is going to look after you. Youre his girl.

🍀Youre much smaller than him so its easy to lift you up off your feet and get you back to the wagons.

🍀 You probably fall in and out of sleep when hes walking you back home, you make a fist in his shirt with your hand and nuzzle right into his neck. It tickles but he just smiles and kisses your hair.

🍀When he gets you back to the vardo hes trying to be extra careful not to wake you, he also doesnt want to wake anyone else at the settlement up because if your father sees you like this he'll blame Bonnie for not looking after you and then he'll find himself in real trouble.

🍀When you do wake up he whispers for you to hush, youre all apologetic and embarassed because you realise whats happened... You promised him he wouldnt have to carry you back home again and now look...

🍀 "Shhh little dove its alright, never you mind now, just get you into bed eh?" he kisses your cheek/temple /hair and helps you out of your clothes and into your jammies.

🍀 But then you start to feel unwell and you lurch up to run outside, youre not exactly capable of that right now though so you end up almost tumbling down the steps of the vardo into the grass.

🍀"Dove whatre you doing come back?" "Sleep outside case m'sick"

🍀 "No flower, you canny sleep outside tonight its too cold, come on now, inside..." you argue with him for ages, you drunk and mumbling, him trying to whisper and coax you back inside.

🍀"Please little dove, let me look after you,"

🍀 Makes you tea and gives you bread which you argue about eating because you feel sick. You take a lot of convincing but eventually you understand that he knows best and so you let him break the bread into little pieces and feed them to you.

🍀 You wont sleep unless he holds you in his lap and lets you rest against his chest. He has to sing quietly to you to keep you feeling centered or else the "earth will start tipping again"

🍀Rocks you gently so that you dont feel out of control, hushes you to sleep. Youre lucky because the next morning instead of lecturing you for getting so drunk he gently teases you about your hangover, but takes care of you all day too.

Isaiah

🐀Again, his fault youre so drunk

🐀He wasnt paying attention to how much you were drinking, didnt realise you were trying to keep up with him.

🐀Hes drunk too but nowhere near as much as you. He realises its home time when your head hits the table and you pass out.

🐀Has to bundle you up in his jacket and into the back of a cab. Feels bad he didnt notice how gone you were, feels annoyed too, its embarrassing that he failed to look after his woman.

🐀So with that in mind hes extra determined to take care of you when you get back to his house.

🐀"Bloody hell love next time you think about drinkin the bar dry give me a warning first..."

🐀You havent got clothes at his so he has to undress you and put you in one of his shirts. Itd be sexy on you if you werent unconscious.

🐀Hes careful about lying you down, putting you on your side so that you dont choke in your sleep. Not that he'll be able to go to sleep until hes certain youll be safe.

🐀He sits up for a little while stroking your hair, he knows youre probably going to wake up soon. When you do you dont really notice where you are and you stumble out of bed to the bathroom only to get lost.

🐀Luckily Isaiah followed you, comes up behind you speaking gently, "you're alright love, this way remember, youre at my house not yours," guides you to the bathroom.

🐀When you tell him to go away because you dont want him to see you being sick, he just shakes his head at you and stays put.

🐀"Shoulda thought about that before you went and got yourself hammered eh? Stuck with me now sweetheart am not going anywhere," holds your hair back and soothes you as much as youll allow him, just chuckles when you tell him to go away.

🐀Cleans you up afterwards, washes your face with a cloth, helps you brush your teeth. Gets you water to drink and sits with you until you feel better.

🐀Youre shivering and freezing so he takes you back to bed, wraps you up in the covers and wraps his whole body around yours, rubbing your arms and thighs to warm you up.

🐀Is evil to you the next day teasing you about your hangover, calling you names and laughing at how wound up you get.

Michael

☘️Socially embarrassing to have his wife this drunk in public so yes, youre in trouble.

☘️You probably argue about it on the way home, him telling you off for drinking so much, you telling him its his fault you were drunk. He left you on your own at the party, you got bored!

☘️He gets very frustrated with you but seeing how drunk you are and knowing how any second now you'll start crying, questioning whether he even loves you - which he does btw, hes just not always so good at showing it - he ends up sighing and giving in.

☘️"enough now y/n we'll talk about it in the morning,"

☘️Has to help you down from the car, holds you with his arm around your waist, steering you as you struggle to walk to the front door.

☘️Makes you tea and toast to try and sober you up.

☘️When you burst into tears at the kitchen table he rolls his eyes but is gentle with you in his own way.

☘️"Now whats the matter ey y/n why are you crying?" just as he suspected you start to talk about how he doesnt really love you, how he was embarrassed by you, how hes angry at you now...

☘️ "y/n, y/n, y/n, what am i gonna do with you? You know just as well as i do that none of thats true, i love you very much alright?" when you dont answer he sighs, he wants to hear you say you understand.

☘️ "Sweetheart i asked you a question? I said i love you very much... Do you understand that?" you sniffle and nod your head, trying to wipe your eyes with your sleeves.

☘️"Think id like you to use your words and tell me again alright love?" he takes your hands away from your eyes, hes being firm with you but not sharp, you dont feel like youre in trouble anymore.

☘️ "i understand michael, love you too," "There we are, thats better... Wasnt so hard now was it?"

☘️When youve finished your tea and toast he helps you upstairs. He undresses you and runs you a bath. He knows you wont be able to sleep whilst youre this drunk so he may as well take his time with you

☘️Gets in the bath with you and spends half an hour just relaxing with you, you let him wash you and then you try to wash him too but its difficult when youre so drunk.

☘️So he helps you, his hand over your hand guiding your cloth over his body.

☘️Wraps you in a towel when youre done, dries you off and then bundles you up into bed with him naked.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago so Im gonna have a court proceeding (? if thats what you call it in english idk) in a couple hours and Im a little bit nervous but the shit I stole was only worth 7€ and it was my first time getting caught so I dont think it'll be too big of a deal. Honestly Im just glad I didnt get caught while I was stealing ~85€ worth of acotar books, because my punishment would not only be wayyyy harsher it would also just be embarrassing, imagine stealing sjm books when theres so many good books you could steal from a bookstore

Anyway, speaking of acotar books, its livebloggin time. Last time, Feyre and Rhysand came to this cabin in the woods/inn in the middle of nowhere and stayed in a room thats so small that you couldnt even have sex in it and then they had sex. not penetrative sex, they just fingered each other. Which is to say Rhysand fingered her vagina and Feyre fingered his wings because god forbid a man be on the receiving end for anything other than a blowjob. Also, I guess Mor, Cassian and Azriel are somewhere else? I didnt wanna say anything about them being gone bc I just kinda assumed they were staying with Feysand but they seem to be gone. whatever I dont care about those guys anyway

Chapter 49

Feyres internal declarations of love and wanting to be with Rhys forever feel very shallow when you consider the fact that 1) theyve only had like 3 months worth of non-traumatic interactions with eachother, and 2) she thought the exact same way about Tamlin and then she DIED FOR HIM and then she left him after barely half a year

'"You know exactly that I would do anything for my people and my family."' 'Your people' consisting of one (1) city

Feyre's pussy feels slightly raw from getting fingered hours ago?? thats not a good sign.

'"I'm not gonna turn away from you. Not from you," I promised him quietly.' honestly, i can believe that, if you can fully forgive someone for physically torturing and sexually assaulting you after like a month or two you can forgive them anything, I have no idea why Rhys would be worried about that

can you imagine if Rhysand got shot with poisoned arrows and he just died right here. Life could be a dream but alas, I live in a nightmare world

I actually really like Feyre going feral over her love interest like this (even if that love interest is Rhys) I dont we're gonna get much more of that in this series so I shall savour it

Yeah, now that she mentions it, how come one ash arrow was enough to straight up kill Andras but Rhysand gets hit by like a dozen and hes just fine after this. I guess it could be that Feyre shot Andras in the eye so it was more lethal than Rhys getting shot in the back and wings but still, afaik there are no longterm consequences from this, like hes not even gonna have to deal with idk, his back hurting at certain points or something

Im not a fan of Feyre being so murderhappy now when she was reluctant to even kill animals at the start of this book, like at a certain point Im not so much bothered by Feyre's character being retconned from ACOTAR but her character from start of ACOMAF

Damn I didnt think the sex would be anything other than a pointless diversion, but here it is, being plot relevant

How come these guys have been torturing him by just stringing him up and leaving the arrows while they whip him, if I was an evil torturer and had just gotten my hands on a guy with wings Im sawing those badboys off immediately. or should i say batboys ahahahha.hahha

Oh, just a splinter of ashwood can he deadly but of course Rhysand is gonna be pretty much fine after being impaled with seven whole arrows

'"And Elain would love [Velaris], I'm sure of it. Although she would probably cling to Azriel the whole time, looking for safety."' smth about that line feels icky to me, I think its the fact that I dont think Elain actually properly interacted with Azriel at this point and also, Velaris is a perfect paradisical city what on earth would she need his protection for there

ughhhh all this bullshit with the dresser is so unbearably annoying

I guess I'll see how this all actually pans out next chapter, but right now I gotta say I dont like the fact that Rhysand's wounds just heal on their own, I couldve used some good whump with him. And Im not just saying that because I dont like him and Im a sadistic little bitch, even though both of those things are true, Im saying this because I think seeing him in a vulnerable position for an extended time would make me like him more

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[gothlyte]

Phil’s Guide to Forgiveness

If you read all this you will be granted power as my champion or think I’m a dumbass. Just in case, if someone is stuck at the same point I was at for most of my life until like a month ago, that I was told but either did not listen or did not understand, as well as my interpretation of it:

Forgive yourself.

To learn how to forgive yourself (and others but first yourself), you need to literally say “I forgive myself.” Even in your mind is fine but say it. Even if it’s a lie right now say it. Even if every fiber of your being is screaming “I hate myself, I want to die” you need to say it because that’s the only way it can start. Then, every time those thoughts come up, or memories of traumatic or unkind or embarrassing events come, you need to forgive yourself again.

And sometimes you’re going to realize that you WERE in the wrong. Take it in stride because you recognized what was wrong with your behavior and that is not as common as it should be and now it is imperative that you work to make it right. You should feel a sense of guilt proportional to the harm done, but be careful not to let shame expand beyond its use or take over your mind as that will halt your progress. It should only go so far as it is helpful to the growth of yourself AND others.

HERES THE THING: eventually you’ll remember being abused or bullied or publicly embarrassed and you will forgive yourself rather quickly because you’ve learned it and shedding your shame comes easy now. But you’re still angry at your abuser.

And that’s an issue because to forgive yourself you had to admit that there were variables you couldn’t account for in the past and that people CAN change. And they can. And you can. And so can the people who hurt you. And those people had entire lives and conditions behind them and traumas inherited and gained throughout their lives that led them to that moment too. And sometimes that’s not enough for you to forgive them and you may feel like it never will be. And sometimes you’ll realize that you were being self-absorbed and that you, again, were in the wrong and getting your ego crushed that way hurts because it always comes unexpectedly. And then you forgive yourself because you were hurt and you understand now and you forgive them because you realize they were hurt too.

And you do that and eventually you stop getting headaches because you remembered you puked on the bus and yourself and maybe a little on the girl sitting next to you when you woke up late one day and had to run to your stop. And you stop getting headaches from regrets and shame about past actions taken against you and committed by you. And you stop getting headaches from memories of strange behaviors and things you recognize now as defense mechanisms from trauma.

And you will be tested in the present tense. That’s where everything goes from theory to practice. Heads up, you’re going to fail sometimes AND THATS OKAY. You’ll get upset and be unable to immediately forgive something and have to think on it and say “why did this hurt so much?” Not only “what made me mad” because you clearly know that but “why is it sticking with me?” Finding first the root action that upset you then identifying the emotion that it caused and what it means for you. Maybe you realize you have a tendency to feel alienated when you’re not being specifically catered to, and that exclusion hurts you especially for one reason or another. Once aware, you should also recognize how that trait can harm others and work to check yourself before and when and after it happens.

And an overwhelming amount of the time miscommunication is the real issue. And in these cases, when you know that someone who hurt you is not some evil manipulator, but your friend or coworker or neighbor that was inconsiderate to you or you to them it is possible to forgive them because they don’t have any power over you. And power is the difference.

And forgiving someone publicly out of spite is not forgiveness and you are not in the right, sarcasm and an attempt at humiliation will never be the foundation of the high road. And sometimes when you apologize for your past behavior, you will find that the person you hurt or were inconsiderate to never cared in the first place. And that may first embarrass you, but you forgive as always and are liberated from a shameful act only you were aware of.

And let me be clear that to forgive is NOT to forget. People who haven’t reflected exist. People who know better and choose to do bad exist. You do not need to trust someone who wronged you to be freed from their burden. And you do not need to start or stay in a relationship with someone who wronged you to forgive them. And you do not need to stay with someone you wronged to forgive yourself. If they have started down the path to self-improvement that’s great but you do not need to prove it or be a part of it.

All of that is to say:

Forgiveness is for you. It is rejecting the hold others have on you, of their creation or yours, and moving beyond. Nothing more, nothing less. The past is the past and the best we can do is learn from it.

Forgive yourself.

[jungwonenthusiast]

hii can i request bestfriends heeseung and y/n who have never done anything together but one night while having a sleepover things just go in that direction 👀👀👀 (using prompts 8 & 12 please🥺)

A/N: this is such a cute concept i love it (u didn’t specify who says what so i chose lol i hope thats okay, I also made hee a soft dom)

Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, cock warming

Word count: 3k

You tap lotion onto your face as Heeseung pulls his sheet mask off. He pats the remaining product into his skin.

“You don’t even need that,” you roll your eyes. “Your skin is already perfect.”

“Jealous?” he teases.

“Yes, I one hundred percent am.” you admit and he chuckles.

You finish up in the bathroom and then plop onto your bed. Heeseung leans over you and grabs the remote on your nightstand. He clicks to Bojack Horseman as always then lays down next to you, scrolling through his phone.

You kick him in the shin. “Gimme some space.”

He frowns and sprawls himself on top of you. “What, you don’t wanna love on me?”

You laugh and try to push him off. “I feel violated.”

He rolls away, chuckling.

You’re scrolling through tiktok together when a video of someone joking about porn comes up. You cackle and Heeseung looks at you.

“How do you know about that?” he asks, wide eyed.

“What do you mean?” you ask awkwardly.

“Do you watch porn?” he asks and you turn away from him, giggling.

“That’s a very private question.” you say, covering your face with your hands.

“So you do!” he exclaims and he’s blushing too.

You guys talked about sex occassionaly, only when you were sharing stories about hook ups though.

“What kind do you watch?” he says, only half joking and you punch him in the shoulder.

“That’s an extremely private question.” you say.

“I thought we were for lifers.” he replies and you laugh.

If he were a female friend you wouldn’t hesitate to tell her all of this, but for some reason he made you shy. You still remember when you became aware that he was a guy. It was the summer before tenth grade when he grew three inches, his voice dropped, and his shoulders began to broaden. It was the summer you became more aware of his masculinity and ever since then, things kind of changed. Not for the worse, things are just different now. 

You continue to scroll when another scandalous tiktok comes up. It said something about wanting to be dominated and taken control of.

You groan. “Why do I keep getting these things?”

“The for you page gives you things that it knows you’d like.” he remarks and you scrunch your nose at him. “What? I think it was pretty hot.”

You choke. “You’re a bottom?”

“No!” he guffaws. “I meant to be the giver in that situation.”

“Ohhh,” you say, trying not to get too embarrassed. The thought of him doing that to someone drove you a little insane.

“Are you?” he asks and you shove him.

“You weirdo.” you accuse and he holds his hands up.

“I just think best friends should know these things about each other.”

You shrug him off and turn your phone off. “I don’t trust my phone anymore, let’s watch yours.”

You scoot over to him and rest your head on his shoulder.

He scoffs. “I thought you wanted space?”

“Are you complaining?” you tease.

“Of course not.” He fake yawns to get his arm around you and you cackle.

He taps a gentle beat onto your shoulder while scrolling through instagram. You can’t help but tense up in his embrace. He had been a bit more touchy than usual lately; random hugs, playing with your fingers, adjusting your clothes, and tying up your shoelaces whenever he could.

“Wow I do not like this.” he says at someone’s prom outfit.

“Me neither,” you frown. “It’s kind of outdated.”

“When’s our prom?” he asks.

“I think in a month.”

“We’re going together right?” he asks and your heart skips a beat. You figured that you’d go together but him asking you made you anxious.

“Yeah,” you try to sound confident.

“Are we gonna coordinate our outfits?” he lightly squeezes your side and you squeal.

“But we’re not going as a couple.” you say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? It’d be weird to show up together with mismatched outfits.” he says and you nod in agreement. “Do you have an idea of what you wanna wear?” he asks.

“I think I wanna go more simple and do black.” you say and he groans.

“You always wear black dresses.”

“And? I look hot in them.” you defend.

“You’re right you’re right.” he accepts defeat and you giggle.

As the night goes on you slowly slump further into Heeseung’s side. At one point his arm goes numb so you scooch in front of him and rest your back against his chest. You’ve gotten used to being so close to him, and at this point you just wanted more.

His arms are wrapped loosely around you as you watch Coraline on the tv. He reaches up to run his hand through his hair but instead punches you decently hard in the boob. You yelp and hold your chest.

“Ahh! Sorry sorry!” he holds your shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

You can’t help but laugh through your pain. “Trying to make me lose a boob or something?”

“Noo, no I’m sorry, forgive me.” he asks, sounding genuinely worried.

Sure you were exaggerating your reaction, but what’s wrong with having a little fun with him.

You elbow him in the side and he cries out.

“Revenge.” you say with a smug smile.

He waits a moment before grabbing your waist and flipping you onto your back. He’s always stronger than you would’ve guessed. You yell as he climbs on top of you and begins to tickle your sides.

You kick around and try to push him off but he won’t budge.

“Get off, I’m dying!” you cackle from his relentless tickling.

“You asked for it.” he says.

“I thought we promised no tickle fights?” you grab a pillow to protect yourself but he’s quick to chuck it away.

“I had my fingers crossed.” he jokes.

You muster all of your strength and hook your leg around him to get him onto his back, a trick Jungwon taught you.

Without thought, you climb on top of him and pin his hands down. It take you a moment to realize what position you’re in. You both freeze for a second before bursting out laughing.

You fall onto your back, holding your chest.

“What the hell was that?” he asks, laughing. “Some fifty shades of gray type of shit.”

You kick him in the shoulder. “I’m sorry!” you say through a fit of giggles. You try to push yourself up but your legs are bent in a way that makes it a little tough. Heeseung assists you and pulls you up into a sitting position by your waist.

You’re still giggling a bit when you feel his nose brush against yours.

“Hi.” you whisper and he waits a moment before gently pushing his lips against yours. Your heart leaps into your throat but you try to stay calm as possible.

He pulls away (to your disappointment) and looks at you with wide eyes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry-” he says and before he can finish your hold his face and kiss him back. His arms snake around your waist and he pulls you flush against him.

You can’t believe that this is happening. You wonder if all the things you’ve fantasized about would happen tonight. Of course not, you’re crazy, you think. But you could already imagine with hands adventuring your body, touching you just how you like it.

Your fingers dip into the back of his shirt collar. You’re barely touching his skin, but it still feels so special.

His lips move to your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck. Your breath becomes increasingly ragged as his kisses become more open mouthed and messy.

He looks up at you. “Is this okay? Like do you want this?”

You nod eagerly and he smiles. “Cute.” he says to himself.

He gently rests you onto your back and traces your waist before pushing your top up. He peppers kisses all over your stomach and ribs before getting to the band of your bralette.

You blush. “I would’ve worn something nicer if I knew this was gonna happen.”

He shakes his head. “I like it, it’s pretty.”

You tug your shirt over your head along with your bra. He lets out a small gasp and you rush to cover yourself.

“Wait, no no.” he pulls your hands away.

“You’re making me shy.” you turn your head away and he chuckles.

“So perfect.” he says before softly kissing your chest.

You let out a small moan while running your fingers through his hair.

He slowly runs his tongue over your nipples while rubbing your sides. You can feel wetness starting to pool in your underwear.

You instinctively swivel your hips, looking for some kind of stimulation and he smiles.

“Do you need something?” he asks teasingly and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Yeah,” you answer.

“What is it?”

You shake your head out of embarrassment.

“Well you’re gonna have to tell me or I’m just gonna leave you like this.” he says nonchalantly and you sigh.

You swallow your pride. “Touch me, please?”

“Attagirl.” he says and tugs your shorts off. “Show me how you like it.”

Your eyes widen. “Huh?”

“You heard me,” he says. “Show me first.”

You breathe in nervously before sliding your hand into your underwear. You circle your clit once and do your best to hold in a moan. He pulls your underwear to the side to watch you.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” he asks. “When you’re home alone and it’s late at night?”

You nod sheepishly and he smiles. “What do you imagine?”

“I’m not telling you,” you blush. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. If you tell me, I'll tell you what I think about too.” he suggests and you accept the deal.

“I-I imagine my fingers being yours,” you swallow thickly.

“Mhm,” he encourages you while gingerly kissing your thighs.

“And,” you hesitate for a moment. “I imagine your tongue on me, and you filling me up. What about you?”

He smiles. “I imagine touching you like this,” he rubs his hands down your thighs and reaches up to pinch your nipples. “I imagine kissing you here,” he kisses your inner thigh, “and here,” he kisses you so close to where you need him the most and you quiver. He grabs your hand and pushes your fingers into his mouth. Your eyes widen and he smirks. “You taste good.”

You nearly cum just from seeing and hearing that.

“I imagine doing this.” He lowers his head and licks a gentle stripe up your pussy. Your thighs snap around his head and he pushes them back open.

“Relax sweetheart, let me make you feel good.” he says before delving into you. Your back arches off the bed right away and your fingers find his hair. Goddamn he’s good.

He circles his tongue on your clit, hungrily but still gently.

“Fuck,” you exhale and he smiles.

He pushes a finger into you with ease and soon adds another. You roll your hips against his tongue as his fingers pump in and out of you. You whimper as the overwhelming pleasure runs through your body.

“Oh my god,” you squeak as your legs begin to shake. Already? You think.

His fingers stay at a steady pace as he messily sucks on your clit. You tug at his hair and he moans into you.

“Please don’t stop.” you beg and he obeys.

Your hips begin to lift off the mattress and he pins you down, keeping you in place. Your orgasm pours through you like sweet syrup, leaving you trembling under him.

He comes up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself. You wipe your juices off his chin with your thumb then lick it off.

He watches you in awe. “God you’re hot.”

You pull his hoodie over his head and push him onto his back. Your fingers trace his shoulders, then his waist, and every muscle on his torso. You kiss him down to the band of his sweats before pulling them down along with his Calvins.

His cock springs up and hits his lower stomach. You slowly kiss up his shaft then waste no time getting him in your mouth. He hisses and caresses your hair.

He hits the back of your throat every time you bob your head but you don’t care. His head drops back with a tempting moan.

“Fuck you’re good.” he says with a small smile.

You stroke the inches you can’t reach with your hand.

You wish you could imprint this image of him in your mind: his head lulling back, his adam's apple bobbing every time he swallows, his brows furrowing, his mouth parting open. You’re almost tempted to take a photo.

You take him all the way into your throat and swallow around him. The moan he lets out sounds better than a song.

You look up at him and watch him rake his hand through his hair. His abs contract every time you come down on him.

“Just like that,” he purrs, sending heat straight to your core.

You feel so dirty with your spit dripping down your chin but at the same time, it feels so good.

“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Sucking this cock so well.”

You nod at him and he smiles.

“Come here,” he pulls you into a position where he can reach you better and squeezes your ass. He tenderly traces his fingers down your spine before slowly pushing two fingers into you. You whine on his cock and he smirks.

“Still so wet.” he says while slightly curling his fingers, you jolt and he chuckles. “Feels good huh?”

You nod and he pets your hair. “Keep going, that’s it.”

His fingers pick up the pace as your sucking and licking becomes more sloppy.

His moans become more desperate and when he expects you to pull off you keep your head down, taking his cum down your throat.

“Did you just swallow?” he asks you, still breathing heavy.

You nod with a smile and he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

He flips you onto your back, eagerly kissing down your body before lining himself up with your entrance.

“Fuck me please,” you exhale and he smiles.

“Of course,” he pushes into you and you whine from the feeling. He stretches you out just right. “God you have good pussy.” he moans and you giggle.

He leans down to kiss you and you whimper into his mouth.

“Don’t stop,” you plead and he kisses your neck, sucking and nibbling to leave a hickey. “People are gonna see.” you say and he smiles.

“That’s the point.” he says. "Don’t you want people to know how good you are for me?”

You blush and nod.

“Give me one too sweetheart.” he says softly while leaning over you.

You rub up and down his sides while gently biting and licking at his neck, leaving a pretty red blush on his neck.

His fingers trail down to circle your clit while grinding his hips into yours. Your eyes roll back as he does so and he smiles. He can’t stop thinking about how captivating you are. He can’t take his eyes off you. Which gives him an idea.

He grabs your jaw and turns it to the mirror next to your bed. “Look at yourself.” he says.

Your heartbeat quickens, not used to seeing yourself in this state.

“Look how good you take it.” he says and you can’t deny it, you look hot as fuck.

He looks at you watching his cock disappear in and out of your cunt. You drag your hands over your waist and go to roll your nipples between your fingers.

His fingers are so slick on your clit from your juices and everything feels so good that you can’t really believe it.

He grabs onto the headboard for leverage and he looks so fucking good like this. Ever since he turned your head to the mirror, you can’t look away. You only turn to face him when your legs begin to shake and the fire in your stomach starts to dance.

“Please don’t stop,” you say with sparkling eyes. “I’m close.”

“Cum for me sweetheart,” he says right by your ear. “Be good.”

That alone sends you over the edge.

You’re back arches and your eyes roll back as your orgasm surges through you. He moans into your neck as he releases into you. You’re still pulsing around him when he finishes.

He kisses your cheeks as you come down for your high. “You did so well princess.”

You can’t help but cling to him and he chuckles. “I have to pull out of you eventually.”

“I like the way you feel.” you whine and he smiles.

You opt to cock warm him. He lays on his back and pulls you on top to straddle him. He gently pushes into you as you lay on his chest and enjoy the feeling.

He strokes your back and kisses your shoulder for a bit before he starts to subdtley thrust up into you.

You give him a look and he smiles at you sheepishly. “Wanna go again?”

[wizkiddx]

i just had the cutest idea at least in my head and would LOVE if u could do a blurb? where tom is trying to measure your ring size to propose while your asleep, but then you wake up and catch him.

this is v v cute! I hope this is what u want, sorry if it didn't translate I found it a bit tricky aha

summary: tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

warnings: v small reference to smut

//////////////////////////////

Sleep always had been, and always will be, an important thing in your life. Naturally then, any source of interruption, was met with some….some hostility. Maybe it was your annoying flatmates as a student, who insisted on playing the worst drum and bass till 4 am every night; maybe your neighbours car alarm, which seemed to be set off by the lightest gust of wind; or maybe your loving- if slightly infuriating -boyfriend.

Tom had just got back from a trip abroad and you’d had a quiet evening in- consisting of pizza, a long forgotten film playing and lots and lots of laughs. As much as you loved his family and friends, celebrating with a fancy dinner and lots of drink - there was nothing better than a night in. It was what you’d both desperately needed too, just actual quality time with the both of you living in the moment, forgetting everything else outside the four walls of your flat.

Needless to say, you’d ended up right between the sheets and you honestly couldn’t remember falling asleep. But now, barely conscious, you did notice your fingers being moved and fiddled with. With a groan you limply pulled them away, rolling over to chase Tom’s body heat - which seemed to have disappeared. His presence hadn’t though, you could tell even with your eyes shut due to his little coo.

“Shh darling…. go back to sleep.” And with a mumbled incomprehensible response, you tried to - even if you personal heater appeared to be in hiding.

Yet then, barely 30 seconds later, the bed dipped weirdly again; Tom’s grasp lightly tugged at the arm you’d crossed over your body. Fighting against it, you snatched your arm away and groaned incoherently once again. Again you got a the most whispered and soft sounding reply from Tom. “Shhh Y/n/n…. come on, work with me here.” Clearly you were half asleep, not really paying any attention to to his words, so huffed - shifting again so you we lying half on your back, half on your side, your left hand lying on the pillow next to your head.

And yet again, barely a minute later, you were sure you heard him chuckle before the bed wobbled as he crawled up it. You could feel his shin brushing against your side as he once again went to grab your hand. And that- that was the last straw.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

The sight you were greeted with was not one you expected. Tom kneeling next to you, with bed hair and all, looking like a deer caught in headlights - literally too, the flashlight from his phone illuminated the otherwise pitch black room. His eyes bugged out his head, while he frantically fumbled with his phone in an attempt to get the light off.

“Nonononono” Muttering as if you weren’t there, Tom obviously struggled to find the right button to shut it off - giving you amply opportunity to notice the other object in his lap.

A yellow tape measure?

Why the hell he was measuring you while you slept, completely unawares, was beyond you. The boy hand some explaining to do - primarily because… he interrupted your sleep.

“Tom what the fuck?”

“I’m so sorry I-I just….just go back to sleep love.” It was weird, how he seemed defeated? He looked upset, and was doing that thing where he nervously ran his fingers through his brown curls.

“Not until you tell me what the hell you’re doing.” Sticking firmly, you reached over to flick the bedside light on, just as he finally got the torch off. The warm golden light illuminated to whole room, allowing you to more clearly assess the situation. The brunette was sat so he were almost leaning over you, with the tape measure but also you now noticed a little notebook and pen sat to the side. His despairing look had you immediately forgiving the interruption to your night- everything, melting away to concern. “What’s going on T?”

“You um-you weren’t supposed to-fuck! I’m sorry love I just-“ Reacting to his embarrassed ramblings, you sat up properly to cup his his cheeks with both your hands.

“Hey take a breath yeah? Then tell me why you’re being all creepy and sizing me up for a coffin or something?” He laughed breathily at that, but it was a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t- I… can we just forget this happened?” He already started to get off the bed, wrapping the tape up in a very hurried manner. With a scowl you shook your head, leaping up to grab the yellow ribbon out his hands before he could fight back.

At that point it was too late for Tom. You saw the way the tape was labelled, not with cms or inches. Instead it was letters of the alphabet, starting at G and ending at Z. You would’ve been confused, except the fact you’d used this weird scale before, when you and your best friend got matching promise rings the other month.

Tom had been trying to measure your ring size.

You couldn’t help but let out a little ‘oh’ as it clicked - making Tom sigh heavily, still looking at you with worried and terrified eyes. It took a minute for you to face him, smiling weakly with a little gleam growing across your eyes.

“We should- we should uh, let’s go back to bed yeh?” Stammering through, you already almost forced the the tape back into his hands. Wordlessly he nodded jerkily and placed both the notebook, the tape and his phone on the bedside - as you flicked the lamp off.

Obviously, it was awkward as hell. Right now Tom knew you knew - he was less convinced though on how you reacted. Now he was doubting whether you wanted that- if you wanted to be his wife. The silence was defeneing, the bedsheets the only noise to interrupt as you both settled back onto the pillows. Tom left a bit on no-mans land in the middle, not wanting to push it.

Really there was no reason to not move and cuddle up to him, even slightly cruel. You knew Tom was worried that he’d fucked up massively. You could hear his breathing shake, as you both stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was slightly horrible, but you couldn’t help but feel insanely blissfully happy. Tom was your future and it was good to know he was starting to get the ball rolling.

“I’m a size N” You whispered up to the ceiling “just for the record.” You both swivelled to look at each other simultaneously, your smirk completely overwhelmed by the smile of pure joy that grew on Tom’s face. Yes the room was dark and you could barely see, but that image might just be one that lives forever in your memory - as your absolute favourite.

“Just-just so we’re on the same page… um, thats your fourth finger? Left hand?”

Finally moving from the awkward position, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, legs wrapping round his. You chose not to answer super specifically, because it seemed like he was asking more than just one question there. Just very broad and very open to interpretation answer.

“Yes and… and um yes too…just for the record”

~~ let me know what you thought <3 ~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter @lovehollandy12 @thefernandasantana

[og-danny-dorito]

[ 𝕊𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕 ]

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heyyy i'm back with more content :) also trying out different fonts n formats??

⚠𝕋𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤⚠️: mentions of sexual content but other than that none this shit wholesome

⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒

𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕙𝕞𝕤: - forehead kisses are pretty regular before you meet him since it's mandatory to give him a goodnight kiss

- it's only when brahms starts demanding them AFTER he revealed himself that they probably get less frequent and thats because the forehead kisses get replaced with cheek and mouth kisses

- or sometimes full-on makeout sessions

- kissing him on his forehead is usually something he gets as a reward for doing something good like picking up after himself or helping you around the kitchen

- it becomes so normal to give him a forehead kiss after he does good that every time he completes a task he leans down/leans forward and taps his forehead so you can give him a kiss

- he just wants your love and approval don't @ him

- 10/10 needy boy

𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕖𝕝: - how tf did you get up there - no seriously he's almost taller than a door how did you...? - okay well, regardless of how you reached this bitch's head your forehead kiss is most likely going to earn you a rough grip on your arm if you don't warn him - the most likely situation that this would happen is late at night when you haven't fallen asleep yet with mikey curled up to your side with your head in his chest - if it weren't for the fact that he sleeps like someone's going to attack him in his sleep you might've been able to get away with it, but the rough hand on your shoulder preventing you from moving any closer is proof of being caught - he eventually lets go and lets you kiss him because he's too tired, but he isn't too cool with intimacy that he doesn't initiate - if you've been together for a while and you do it it's cool, but your best bet is to do it while patching him up form being hurt or when he's too tired to deny you

- 8/10 you might get your throat crushed but its cool 𝕁𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟:

- i don't know how you got up there but he is WRAPPED around your finger - like he already loved you more than his undead heart could manage but when you tenderly kiss him on the forehead so casually while ya'll are just laying around or doing normal tasks? yeah mans might shut down

- nonsexual intimacy just makes his heart explode PLEASE - if you pull this shit on him you're gonna ether get attacked with kisses in turn, forced into a bearhug, or all of the above - 100/10 do it all the time please he loves it 𝔹𝕦𝕓𝕓𝕒:

- P L E A SE GIVE HIM KISSES

- give him ALL kisses he gets so upset if you don't give him at least a thousand a day

- like it's started to become a game to him. where are you gonna kiss him next? the temple? the hand? the cheek? he gets so excited just thinking about it!!! - kissing him on the forehead while bringing down some food and sweet tea while he works will make him a blubbery and squealey mess - like you love him that much that you'll just kiss and love on him whenever?!?!

- he starts doing it in turn because it makes him so happy when you do it to him. that or he starts hugging you and babbling happily whenever you're within 5 feet of each other - 1000/10 loves all affection 𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 & 𝕊𝕥𝕦:

- billy pretends to hate when you do it because he's "not a fucking kid" but he starts to get upset when you give stu kisses and don't give him any like a jealous child

- stu will literally take any sort of positive contact with open arms but he makes it weird by saying "thanks mom/dad/parental figure" - billy's kinda hesitant with being affectionate since he's kinda traumatized but after a bit of warming up to it he actually kinda likes random acts of affection?

- like he has this mentality that if you're being affectionate you want sex but after he realizes that you can be intimate without getting down and dirty he ends up liking it more than he likes sexual intimacy since it means more to him

- stu will literally kiss both of you any chance he gets with no hesitations

- and he will kiss EVERYWHERE. like don't be surprised if this man just kisses the back of your neck out of nowhere okay he has no self control

- its good there are three of you because just one person wouldn't be able to handle all of the love stu has to offer

- 7/10 for billy since it needs progress but 8/10 for stu since he makes dumb jokes but means well

ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕟:

- he's so awkward forgive him

- no like he literally doesn't know what to do when you first do it so he just kinda stands there for a second before nodding a "thank you" and leaving the room to recuperate

- on the outside he's all but on the inside he's like - he likes it but like? doesn't know?? how to ask for more??? - you can usually tell that he wants more because he starts nudging his head into your shoulder and waiting for you to give him kisses - a better option is to give him kisses on his mask filter! it's kinda like a lip kiss but not quite, and it's wholesome enough to make him have a good mood for the rest of the day

- like he might let a few victims die faster just because you gave him mask kisses before he went out - 6/10 he's awkward as all hell

𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕤:

- bro,,, thomas is so sad bro

- like,,, he just doesn't feel like you really care about him a lot of the time and doesn't feel like you deserve him and it gets him down so PLEASE show him affection

- like on the outside he may seem scared of it and might push you away, just be patient with him

- thomas ESPECIALLY doesn't like his face so kissing his face and telling him he looks handsome kinda makes him want to break down in tears right there

- like bubba he loves affection, but he's more timid and nervous about asking for it

- you can usually tell that he wants your attention from his nervous glances at you across the room and his sudden close proximity when you're walking around, so just turn around and hug him every once in a while!! or give him some smooches

- he might not offer them back but he returns the sentiment by nuzzling into your neck and humming if you play with his hair

- 9/10 just because he's super hesitant but needs it regardless

𝔽𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕕𝕪: - y'all bacon bits cannot take one fucking thing seriously

- SKJDFN like if you give him a forehead kiss he'll try to lick your chin or push you away he's such an ass

- it's honestly just because genuine heartfelt affection brings up emotions he's not good at dealing with so he avoids it by counteracting with stupidity but whatever

- do not give him forehead kisses or you'll get your neck bitten i mean it

- 2/10 he's a dumbass

𝕍𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣:

- this man is BUILT for forehead kisses. look at that forehead. look at that sittable lap. look at those hugging arms.

- vincent will literally accept any sort of positive contact as long as you warn/ask him beforehand

- asking to kiss his forehead will earn you a shy nod, and doing so will result in a very blushy and embarrassed wax man

- FR THO like he will still get flustered and loose track of what he's doing if he thinks about it for a month after

- the fact that you kissed his face really sells it considering (like thomas) he's never liked his face

- kissing his BARE face for the first time though? oh my god he's going to start crying

- NO BUT FR SKJDFNK

- 10/10 he just,,,, loves you so much PLEASE

𝔹𝕠 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣: - c'mon now y'all really think he's gonna let you do that

- as soon as you lean in to kiss his forehead he's gonna push you away like "what are you doing" and go back to his business okay this man doesn't do intimacy

- unless he's in the safety of his room though

- if y'all are 100% alone it's okay even though he's kinda hesitant, but he's awkward and doesn't know how to return it in a way that isn't sexual

- like everyone paints him to be smooth n shit but i know for a FACT he doesn't know how to deal with genuine intimacy and it's because he's never had a healthy relationship in his life

- so you presenting that is weird and foreign and will take a lot of time for him to get used to

- 4/10 don't do that unless you're like a few months in

𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕖! 𝕐𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕛𝕒:

- what are you doing

- why are you doing that

- wait no don't stop-

- yeah soft intimacy is something he's still kinda getting used to. he doesn't hate it, but it still catches him off guard since he doesn't?? really know??? what to do????

- kinda just coos affectionately into your chest and holds you there for a second before placing a kiss (or like the closest he can get to one with those tusks and lack of lips) on whatever exposed area of skin is the closest but he gets an A for effort

- 9/10 doesn't know what to do but still enthusiastic!!

ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪𝕞𝕒𝕟:

- while he PREFERS hand kisses cause he's classy, he doesn't mind forehead kisses at all

- in fact, if he's taller than you they're really common for him to give!

- if you return them he's pleasantly surprised and can't help but get all soft because of it

- 11/10 not much else to say here just a wholesome man

⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒

[ 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘! ℝ𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕. :) ]

[julie-thefatones]

THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU || BILLY HARGROVE X READER||

A/N : I just wanted to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was​ for helping me with the idea of this story for I was having a block lol!!! Also im sorry if i didnt catch all the typos or mistakes, i tried my best lol! anyway i hope you guys like it :)

WORD COUNT: 5290

WARNINGS: 16+ (Kissing, Rude Language)

It was Summer 1985, it was unbelievably hot in Hawkins, IN this time of year.. but this year was different, it was hotter than any summer before that I could remember, so that only meant one thing.......Everybody and I do mean everybody was at the public pool. It was the only public pool in town and no on really thought or maybe they just didn't bother to get a pool of their own.

As I made my way to the pool just like every other day this summer, I felt different. I wasn't sure if it was because I did my hair different than usual, Instead of my usual half up half down action, I decided to do it to the side and crimped, it made me feel like I was in Teen Beat under the 'Your New Summer Doo' Section.... Or maybe it was my new swim suit that was all the rage this year with the coolest Neon Yellow and Hot Pink color block, sure it made me feel somewhat like a glass of strawberry lemonade but if i'm gonna be a glass of strawberry lemonade i'm gonna be the hottest glass of strawberry lemonade there is.

Well whatever, Im not going to let this strange feeling ruin my day at the pool, no way, nothing is going to ruin this day unless its an overly packed swimming pool with no room to breath...... as I walked through the gates of the public pool, I looked around, took a deep breath, and sighed "Ruined" I whispered to my self while closing my eyes. I walked over to my usual pool chair dodging kids left and right as i made my way, blocking out the parents yelling across the way for 'TOMMY STOP PUSHING YOUR BROTHER UNDERWATER!' I mean you think Tommy would know by now that when he tries to drown his younger brother, he's going to get yelled at. Taking deep breaths the whole way to my chair trying not to let anyone get to me, I laid my towel down and took my seat. I laid there for maybe 10 minutes before i heard Mrs. Fowl yelling once more "TOMMY STO-" but this time she was cut off *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! STOP DROWNING YOUR TWARP OF A BROTHER BEFORE I DROWN YOU! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU LITTLE DOUCHE" I heard a male voice call across the pool, I tilted my sunglasses down to see what was going down, first I saw Mrs. Fowl rolling her eyes at what the mysterious male just yelled, I scanned over to discover who this mysterious male was... He made his way down the side of the pool greeting a group of middle aged women who gawked at him. He was slowly getting closer to the Life Guard tower and thats when I realized who it was that was calling orders and greeting people across the pool...... It was Billy Hargrove, the new, but well known bad boy of Hawkins High School. Girls went Ga Ga over him, he was hot sure but I never really understood why these girls threw themselves at him, he was just a guy, I mean not to mention he was a major douche, didn't show respect to anyone he talked too, also I couldn't stand how loud his freaking car is!! like dude, not necessary, especially not necessary when its 3:00 in the morning!! did i mention he lived down the street from me. I was deep in thought, not realizing i was still staring at Billy, but now he was sitting at the top of the Life Guard tower, I didn't realize i was staring until he stared back at me and winked "Oh my gosh" I whispered to my self in embarrassment, I rolled over pushing my sunglasses back up feeling completely mortified, Maybe he would forget about it... I mean he has girls staring at him all the time.

I laid there for about 2 hours, forgetting about my slight interaction with Billy across the pool. I didn't feel bothered the last 2 hours until i felt a large presence blocking my sun, with out opening my eyes for not wanting to get out of my zen "Hey! Sasquatch, who ever you are, your mama wasn't a glass maker, so if you would kindly move out of my sun I would deeply appreciate it, thanks" I heard a cocky chuckle above me, as much i didn't want to, I opened my eyes, and there he was right above me... Billy "Ya know, its not polite to call people Sasquatch... and for your information my mom could be a glass maker... so you making assumptions .. well thats just plain rude" He said, licking his lips before continuing "But, i'm a very forgiving person so i guess ill let it pass" He said with a big cocky smile, I couldn't help but feel flustered, even though he was being so overly confident and cocky... he just had this charm about him ... but i wouldn't let him know that, I rolled my eyes in response and kept a straight expression laying still "Oh, Hey Billy.... I didn't know you worked here" I said with as little emotion as I could express "Now, I don't think that is true Y/N, I saw you checking me out earlier" He said with the same cocky but teasing tone, I scoffed "Oh please Hargrove, you wish i was checking you out" I felt him shift behind me before he answered "Ya know, usually when someone is just staring at another .. it means your checking them out" After hearing his words I tilted my sunglasses down to look at him "You flatter yourself sir" I said with a teasing smile, he scoffed and looked off and then back to me "hmmm alright Y/L/N, well my mistake" I rolled my eyes once more and pushed my glasses back up "Alright, you've blocked my sun for long enough, now move along Sasquatch" I said, back to no emotion, He chuckled "Yes Ma'am, I would hate to deprive you of your sun" He winked before walking away. I couldn't help but stare after him as he walked away..... I quickly looked away, realizing what i was doing ... What was I doing... I don't like Billy.

The next day rolled around, and I was feeling slightly more excited then usual to get ready to go to the pool. I know what you're thinking... NOO it had nothing to do with Billy... I just was excited to cool off in the water...... and lay in the sun again.... and maaaybe it had something to do with Billy, but its nothing big... I just like to give him a hard time, that is all... that. is. all.

I walked into the pool area, same as yesterday, but today I wore my red swimsuit that had little frills on the straps with a red Scrunchy to match. I laid my towel down, again like yesterday and just like clockwork I heard the same male voice as yesterday "TOMMY! DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY! NOW STOP DROWNING YOUR BROTHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS TERRIBLY SHRILL VOICE YELL AT YOU TO STOP! IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PART OF MY SHIFT!" I looked behind me to see Billy finish walking to his place at the Life Guard tower, I couldn't help but chuckle at Mrs. Fowl's face, mouth wide open in offense to what Billy said.

The afternoon flew by and Billy paid absolutely no mind to me, he just say on his tower and every now and then yelled at Tommy.... But other than that.. nothing. I Hate to say i was slightly disappointed, yesterdays banter was not only fun but the most entertainment i have had this summer, all my friends were away for the summer leaving me alone ... hence the coming to the pool by my self everyday. The past week went by the exact same way, I would show up to the pool looking the cutest i can look interchanging the 3 swimsuits i own, and the 3 different hairstyles i knew how to do. But nothing, he would yell at Tommy, sit and do nothing... except when he would flirt with bimbo mcBarbie or wanna be Farrah Fawcett, it made me have a pit in my stomach... not that i was jealous... absolutely not, I was just bored.

The next day, I showed up, the same way as I had been for the past week.. except today i had no expectations except to mock the plastic Phoebe Cates wanna be that would flirt with Billy endlessly today. Today I wore my red swimsuit once again, with the same matching scrunchy... I sat and prepared to be disappointed again. I sat for about 20 mins, and just like a week before.... someone was blocking my sun, I couldn't help but grow a small smile on my face, I tilted my sunglasses and looked right at mr. Billy Hargrove with his cocky smile in front of me "You're blocking my sun Sasquatch" I said with a teasing tone "Oh my apologies ma'am" he said right before walking away. Really that was it .... no banter nothing.... I sighed aloud before sinking into my chair, what was gonna do .... and as I heard Mrs. Fowl and Billy yell at Tommy, thats when it came to me.

I approached the edge of the swimming pool, took a deep breath, was i really gonna do this... just to get Billy's attention? I rolled my eyes at myself, before stepping into the pool. I carefully walked closer and closer to the middle of the pool, looking around at all the kids around me, they looked like they were having so much fun. I started to rethink my plan, I didn't want to scare any of these kids just to get a stupid guys attention... a guy i don't even like! 'this is so stupid' i thought to my self before starting my way out of the pool, but thats when i heard the most annoying high pitched laugh coming from the Life Guard tower, and thats when I saw the Bimbo Phoebe Cates wanna be standing beneath Billy at the tower, and with out thinking I went for it. I started flailing and putting my own head under water to mimic drowning "HELP! HELP!" I screamed each time i came up for breath "HELP! I NEED HELP" I continued to scream, Thats when Billy just casually climbed down from his tower like nothing was going on and walked at a normal pace over to the edge of the pool before getting in. Billy swam effortlessly to me, and before i even knew it he swooped me up into his arms bridal style, carrying me out like i weighed nothing.... as we were exiting the pool, I had to admit, the way the water dripped off his hair and down his chest, Billy Hargrove was insanely hot.... I couldn't help but just stare at him, his face was not only hot, but it was .... Beautiful .. i mean his complexion was flawless... his eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, and his smile was brilliantly white.. and thats when i realized he was smiling at me, I slightly shook my head in order to leave the trance i was in "Wow Y/L/N, that was quite the scene you made there.... you alright?" Billy asked in his teasingly cocky tone he always had, with his big smile, I rolled my eyes "Gosh Hargrove, please excuse me for making a scene by almost dying .... how rude of me!" I scoffed, he licked his lips with a chuckle "Oh almost dying? My bad ma lady, you did in fact almost die" he glanced at the pool and then back at me "In the 4ft end of the pool" he said with a huge smile looking straight into my eyes, with embarrassment i glanced at the pool and back at him "I was not in the 4ft end! i was at least AT LEAST!!! in the 8ft end!" I exclaimed in defense to myself, I hated lying, not only did it make me feel terrible but i was bad at it!! I noticed Billy was still holding me, and I only noticed because Bimbo Barbie and Wanna be Plastic Phoebe Cates was staring at me with murder in their eyes. Billys grip tightened around my thighs and arm as he effortlessly held me "Y/N, I had to train in this pool for 5 hours everyday for week before the pool opened to get this job..... I think i know where the 4ft end is" He said to me with confidence, I was at a loss for words, I had no comeback except for "Well, they must have painted to numbers wrong on the pool" Great one Y/N, stellar... they totally painted the numbers wrong on the pool, especially since you stood just fine where you 'Drowned' .. it was totally the 8ft end ... I wanted to face palm so badly but i didn't wanna give myself away that easy, my thought was interrupted by Billys laughter "Ya know! I bet they did paint them wrong.... My bad Y/N" He said in a sarcastic tone, I rolled my eyes in response "Well Billy, Thank you for helping me ... now if you would please let me down" I said, even though I didn't mind him holding me.... it sure was fun pissing The bimbo twins off. He smiled and nodded his head and gently let me down "It was a pleasure saving you Y/N" and as he started to walk away he turned back to me "Ya know, i teach swim lessons... I could teach you a couple things" He said with a wink "Yeah! maybe! Don't want to drown again" I said while wringing out my hair "Good! wouldn't want your fellow swim team to know that you forgot how to swim over the summer" He said winking before walking away "Yeah!!! that would be embarrassing!!!" I called after him, once he was not looking my face hit the palm

of

my

hand so hard it's like they were magnets.

Before leaving, with all my pride gone anyway, I walked up to Billy "Hey!" I exclaimed up in order for him to hear me up there on the tower, He looked down at me and smiled "Oh Hey Y/N!" He responded "Billy, did you mean it?" he squinted his eyes like he couldn't understand me, I sighed "Did you mean it!!" I exclaimed a little louder, but he still squinted with confusion "Ya know! why don't you just climb up here and tell me" He exclaimed to me, I sighed and looked around "Why don't you come down here!!" I yelled back, and again he squinted, I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder "Was this really necessary Hargrove, I see you talking to the barbie twins all the time with out having them climb up here" I said exasperated, he just smiled propping him self up on his chair "Yes, but you see... Im not actually listening to them.. its the same thing every time" he says before he start " 'Oh Billy, you look so strong, please take me out for a ride sometime' 'Oh Billy, I bet you could bench me with ease' " He said in his best girl impression and then went back to his normal voice "and yadda yadda yadda, but you! if you're talking to me... it must be something worth hearing! so how can i help ya Y/N?" I couldn't help but chuckle "well, i was just wondering if you meant it, when you said you would give me swimming lessons?" I said, looking down at my hands that were clasping the edge of Billys seat to keep my balance, I could feel his eyes on me, but i refused to look at him until i heard his answer "Well, That depends.... are you asking?" He asked, with pure joy in his voice out of amusement, I mustered up my confidence to look at him "Maybe!" I said, he was smiling the largest, cockiest smile, placing his whistle in between his teeth, not breaking his eye contact with me and then *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! IM GONNA COUNT TO 3 AND IF YOU ARE STILL BEING A LITTLE DICK IM GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND TIE YOU TO A TREE ..... BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT KID!" He yelled, still not breaking contact , I again couldn't help but chuckle, he opened his mouth so slightly so that the whistle would just fall out with ease, his mouth still open he grew a sheepish smile "Yeah Y/N, It would be an honor to teach you to swim" I smiled "Good!! thanks" I said as I started to climb down the ladder "Hows 10pm tonight?" He said, and I popped back up to level with him to make sure i heard him right "Huh?" he chuckled "I said how about 10pm tonight?" I just sat there for a minute, no knowing what to say.... I would have to sneak out in order to do that but before i could stop myself i said "Yeah sure!! that works for me" He smiled even bigger "Great!! Ill see ya then Y/L/N" I started down the Ladder again "Great!!!" I exclaimed.

I ran home and did the usual, eat dinner with the family, go to my room and read whatever book i'm reading until my parents go to bed, in which i usually go to bed or sneak down to watch some TV to myself, but not tonight.... tonight i was sneaking out.... I've never snuck out before ... let alone sneak out to be with a boy.... and not only that .. the town bad boy ..... ugh! what am I doing.

As soon as I heard my parents bedroom door shut I finished prepping my hair and slipped on some shorts over my swimsuit. I ran down the stairs and snuck out the door, making sure to close the door very slowly in order to not make a sound, clicking it shut ever so slightly, as soon as it shut i sighed in relief and turned running into someone behind me causing me to scream "WHAAAA!" I screamed "Geesh Y/N!! Ya want the whole neighborhood let alone your parents to know your sneaking out" I heard Billy whisper to me as he clasped his hand over my mouth, I let out a huge breath happy it was just him and not some criminal, I licked his hand to get it off my face, he laughed before removing his hand "Excuse me Hargrove, you almost gave me a heart attack" he chuckled "You know this is your second brush with death today, I don't know if me being around you is good for your health" I smiled to myself, Oh no... You definitely are not Hargrove. I looked at him and then realized "Hey!! why are you here, i thought i was meeting you at the pool?" we continued to walk down to his car "You really think i was going to let you walk to the pool, by your self, at 10:00 at night" he said as he held the passenger door to his car open, I rolled my eyes "Im not getting in there" I said crossing my arms, he scrunched his eyebrows confused "and why not?" he asked "Because i hate your car" I said without thinking, he laughed, now leaning on his open car door, looking at me with an amused smile "Oh really? You hate my car!!! you have never been in my car, my car is offended" He said teasingly, I rolled my eyes once more "Why do you hate my car?" He asked, I sighed a big sigh "Because!! it's entirely too loud, which usually wouldn't bother me, but when its waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and i am having a really good dream... yeah that would make me hate a car." He just looks at me with disbelief before bursting into laughter "Well, we're gonna change that" he said winking at me and opening the door wider "Now please get in the car" he said gesturing to the car "No! i'm not getting in the car." I stood my ground, I was not getting in that- My thought was interrupted by strong arms scooping me off the ground and before i knew it I was in Billys arms "Billy!! what are -" he set me in the passenger seat of his car and closed the door before i could finish my sentence. Billy effortlessly swung into the driver seat and within seconds we were zooming down the street, in usual Billy fashion... I had to admit, it was exhilarating going this fast with the music blasting this loud I couldn't help but belt the lyrics along "THERES NO ONE LIKE YOUUUUUU! I CANT WAIT FOR THE NIGHTS WITH YOUU! I IMAGINE THE THE THINGS WE DOOO" I belted, Billy smiled at me in awe, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and Billy started belting the song, hitting his steering wheel to the music, nudging me with his elbow to join back in, so I did. We belted songs all the way to the swimming pool, it wasn't a super long drive... but it was probably the most fun I have ever had in a 5 minute drive. As we pulled up to the pool Billy turned off the car and within seconds he was at my door helping me out. "Soooo are you even allowed to be here this late?" I asked looking around for security cameras, Billy chuckled "ummm thats up for debate, but for tonight.. yes" I nodded along "Alright.... why tonight but not other nights? did you bribe the security camera guy" Billy looked at me as he unlocked the gate to the pool "Not exactly" He said with one of his famous Billy winks, I have received more winks from billy in the last 12 hours then i have received in the past year its self.... but I didn't mind. He finally got the lock undone and we walked in, out of habit i started walking toward my usual chair "Ha, where you going Y/L/N?" I stopped in my tracks and realized what i was doing, I started back to Billy, but being flustered I tripped over my feet causing me to fall right into Billys arms, I couldn't tell if he moved to come catch me or I was just falling in

his

direction and caught me... either way, I liked the feeling of his arms around me "You know, you're a real dork" He said with a chuckle, and in a moment we just stared into each others eyes, until me being me had to sneeze, I faced away and sneezed into my arm, Billy helped me gain my balance before letting go of me "ehem.... well i'm gonna get the pool cover off and then we will start the lesson" I watch as Billy hastily got the cover off, I felt bad letting him do it alone, so I started helping him, he looked up at me and laughed "What are you doing Y/L/N" He said with a chuckle, I smiled at him "What!!! I wasn't gonna let you do it by yourself!!" He just smiled at me and then shrugged as we continued to get the cover off. We were now standing in the middle of the pool "Okay, Y/L/N, let start with basics.... Floating" He said looking at me as if to say 'Come closer' "Y/N You're gonna have to get closer to me" he said smiling grabbing my hand a pulling me closer to him, I looked up and our face's weren't even an inch away with how close we were, I could feel his breath on my cheek "you're gonna want to get on your back" He said in almost a whisper, not moving from how close he was to my face, I blinked a slightly turned to look into his eyes "Excuse me?" he chuckled "To float.... you're going to want to get on your back to float" He said smiling, all of a sudden his face was gone away from mine and i felt one hand on my legs and the other on my lower back as lifted up my Legs and balanced me out ... I was now on my back floating in a pool with Billy Hargrove "Alright, Im gonna let go" he said, he actually sounded kind of nervous, which i have never heard from Billy, as i felt his hands start to move away from me I couldn't help stop my self "No" I whispered, not wanting his hands to leave from me, he smiled and moved closer "If i don't let go, you wont learn" He said, i felt his fingers lightly graze my lower back "Well, I also wont learn if you leave me on my own too soon... ill sink" I said trying have a teasing tone but it was slightly ruined by my heavy breathing, i couldn't help i was filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Billy leaned down closer to my face "Thats true, good job" He said with just as heavy breathing as me. We focused on my floating for about 15 minutes before we went on to other things, we swam all together for about an hour or so until it started to get pretty cold, I could help but shiver "You need to stop Y/L/N?" Billy asked making his way back over to me "Im just a little cold, i'm okay though" I said through chattered teeth, he chuckled and ducked lower in the water and came over to me the rest of the way "C'mon, get down here" He said pushing my shoulder so that I would be in the water as deep as him, he moved closer where his arms were now around mine, and once again our faces weren't even an inch apart "better?" he whispered, all I could do was nod my head, I really was getting warmer.... "You smell good" I said, Did i really just say that...... 'you smell good' ? really??? ugh! ... Billy laughed "Thank you, I take pride in that." he said, moving a little bit closer "As you should, smelling good is something you should take pride in" man i am one with the words, i'm surprised he is even still here, with my stellar flirting..... A week ago I didn't even like looking in Billys direction, and now..... Now i wanted nothing more then to feel him closer not only physically but personally... He was a lot different than i thought he would be. I felt him start to lean in closer to my face, I didn't know why but i back away, which made me really mad at myself.... why did I do that "Im sorry I-" as he apologized I moved back to where I was and closer, inviting him to continue what he was gonna do, he smiled and then moved in, before i knew it his lips were on mine with out thinking I started moving my lips with his, our motion so fluid, he was good at this, his hands were now on my back moving me closer, and there we were ... me and Billy Hargrove.. making out in the middle of Hawkins Public

Pool at

11:45 at night. We both pulled away by the sight of lights passing down the street, cautious of getting caught, we both looked back at each other and laughed "You're good at that" I said catching my breath, once again feeling the blood rush to my cheeks "You're very honest ya know that" he said, rubbing my back now "Ya wanna know something though.... You're good at it too" He said looking down and quickly licking his lips and then looking back up at me "How do you do that?" I asked, he scrunched his brows confused "How do i do what?" I sighed "Get me from hating you to ... to... this! in less than a week" I exclaimed in a slight whisper "Its my super power" he chuckled "Now, c'mon... I better get you home" and before I could blink his hands were off my back and he was effortlessly hopping out of the pool. totally disregarding the stairs, he held his hand out to help me out the same way "I think, Im gonna use the stairs... ya know because ... thats why they are there" I said teasingly, he rolled his eyes "But where is the fun in that" he scoffed as he walked over to the stairs to meet me, and as soon as I reached the top he had me slung over his shoulder "Aaahh!!! Billy, I know that events today may prove other wise, but I do know how to walk on my own" I said in protest "Sure! but what if i let you down and all of a sudden a eagle comes down and swoops you away and i wont be able to stop him" I rolled my eyes at his comment "The likely hood of that happening, is about as good as me winning the lottery 3 times in 2 days" I said still hanging upside down on his shoulder "Well, maybe i just like holding you" and then ladies and gentleman .... butterflies happened... oh boy.

We had a good 5 minute ride back to my house, where he held my hand, in which I tried to protest just to mess with him but inevitably gave in... I like it. When we pulled up, just like before Billy quickly got out of the car and had my door open in second, helping me out and walking me to my door with our fingers interlocked, I started for my door until i felt a tug of Billy pulling me back to him, I knew he was strong, but just one tug i was flying back to him, he had to catch me, in which our faces were once again within millimeters from each other "We gotta stop meeting like this" He said teasingly with his famous smile "I gotta tell you something" I slipped out "I know how to swim and I wasn't really drowning, I pretended to get your attention" I said entirely too fast, he chuckled "I know" I paused at what he said "You know?" I asked confused "Ya know Y/N, You are a terrible liar..... First off no one drowns in the 4ft end of a pool unless your 3, and second we may not have talked too often in school... but that doesn't mean I didn't notice you, You're the captain of the swim team, which is why i brought it up earlier today, so of course you know how to swim... I offered the swim lessons as joke.. and then you came and asked and..... I couldn't be happier you did" He said still holding me, I smiled and did a little excited hop "You noticed me?" I said a little too eager, he chuckled and looked away and then looked back "Theres no one like you Y/L/N" he said right before taking my chin lightly with his fingers and bringing me in for gentle but passionate kiss goodnight.

[mobagehelllocal]

“lucky ending” extra notes i & iii

Hi, I said I would do it but then I released ver i so long ago that I felt I shouldn't do this unless I had another version out at least so yay! finally! ... I'll add ver ii here when I get around to writing it... *shifty eyes* So as usual, this is just my thought process and ideas while writing lol.

*please do not read if you haven’t read “lucky ending” ver i (dorm leaders) & ver iii (rook & lilia).

It was inspired by an anon ask and the button tradition from Japanese schools.

The anon ask went like this: First at all, I like do much your writing and I hope you are doing well. Second, I was wondering what would happen if the MC (Fem!s/o I guess) decided to not go back to her world, like she decide stay with her villain? Can you do make headcanons of this for the dorm leaders? Thank you very much. – from Anonymous

The button tradition, as narrated by the first years, is done when one person confesses and the other responds by giving them the button closest to their heart. In most Japanese uniforms it’s the second uniform, but in Twisted Wonderland--I looked at the ceremonial robes and the closest button should be the fifth. Maybe. I could be wrong. 

The songs I listened to while writing this! 

The original dorm leaders (and Rook) was written while listening to “Lucky Ending”, the ending theme of Fruits Basket. The English lyrics (translated by otenkiame!) are: 

“Change is important. I want to do it well,/ but I wanna cry. It's still bad. I wanna cry” 

“The word "goodbye" has disappeared completely from this world/ All that remains is me fooling around next to you/A day you don't laugh won't come anymore”

“I've understood it since being here/ These feelings of wanting to protect you aren't a misunderstanding/ If we can call what connects us bonds,/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Even if in a different world, it'll never be different/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Don't change, ever/ Stay here, stay here”

I think it’s obvious why I chose to use this as the title of the series. It’s a story about change but it’s also a story about the things you don’t want to change... And I think it’s not wrong to want to hold onto things. 

I also listened to the same playlist that I listened to while writing “wendy?” “hello peter pan”:

“Can’t help falling in love” cover by Annapantsu, “If you’re not the one” by David Beddingfield, “Who Knew” by P!nk and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift. 

For Lilia in particular, I was listening to three Beauty and the Beast songs on loop. “Evermore” by Josh Groban, “Days in the Sun” by the live action cast and, of course--”How does a moment last forever” by Celine Dion.

“How does a moment last forever?/ How can a story never die?/ It is love we must hold onto/ Never easy, but we try/ Sometimes our happiness is captured/ Somehow, our time and place stand still/ Love lives on inside our hearts and always will”

Also for Lilia, Tolerate It by Taylor Swift.

“You're so much older and wiser and I/ I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

Malleus was definitely the first piece finished. Closely followed by Vil’s. I believe there was a gap inbetween them before I did the others? I wrote bits and pieces of Leona, Idia, Kalim and Azul’s. I think I finished Leona, Idia, Kalim then Riddle because I distinctly remember saving Azul for last. 

One of the most important things for me, is that each story stands distinct of each other. So I gave myself a really hard time trying to figure out how each one uniquely belonged to each of the characters.

For the Prologue... I think because it’s set at the graduation of certain characters, I used that to my advantage and implied the stronger bonds between the Yuu!Reader and the entirety of the cast. Because a lot of time has passed and I feel like--regardless of what other people believe, bonds will be made and relationships will have strengthened enough for it to happen. 

Riddle is honestly another really difficult character for me to write. I generally do love him and I enjoy his story, but something about him is difficult and I’m not sure why. 

I think a part of me is also really miffed because from Heartslabyul-Savanaclaw, you could feel that Riddle really cared for Yuu on some level but then he just straight up disappears come Octavinelle chapter. I feel like there was potential to develop their relationship even more. 

He WENT UP AND TIED YOUR RIBBON I REMEMBER I WENT DOKI DOKI OVER THAT. 

I feel like because I’ve established that it’s a Yuu!Reader, it’s impossible for this story to not include both Ace and Deuce. So of course they featured in really big roles for this one, being responsible for telling Riddle the story.

I have to thank my friend, Mes, for bouncing ideas with me. They were the one who suggested what I could do with Riddle’s story by having ADeuce play such a big part!

I also tried my hardest to include Trey and Cater, and I’m pretty happy with their cameo. In a way, they definitely helped Riddle figure out his own feelings for you. 

My favourite lines are: “I think you earned that much. I don’t believe anyone’s ever been in your situation before so—there’s no right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s all about what you want to do.”

I wish someone would tell this to Yuu in general though. They’re the only one who has ever been in their situation (to our knowledge at least) and like... they’re definitely allowed to be even more selfish. 

Leona is someone who I used to dislike a lot. I never hid that. It’s primarily because of how disappointed I am in the story of Savanaclaw probably. But like, I was always concerned about writing him properly because I thought that it was only right that I did right by him, because there would be people reading these stories who loved him. And I felt like I had to do right by that love. 

I think... it’s wrong to believe that characters... villains... cannot fall in love or “won’t fall in love.” I think it’s wrong also to think that “people don’t change for love.” 

In fact, people do change. You definitely shouldn’t change yourself to be loved, but... people change all the time to be their “better” selves. So whose to say that a good person, who you love, will not make you want to improve yourself? Isn’t that what we want when we meet people? To fall in love with someone who will ultimately make you better and never worse. 

Or so that’s how I try to write the Twisted characters when they fall in love... With an understanding that “morally” the person they are falling for is “kind” and “good” and how a part of them might just want to be better just for that person. (Especially Leona and Azul). They don’t necessarily have to be nice to everyone, but if they can be better for one person... We stan healthy character growth.  

But yeah, Leona is driven by understanding that he’s a very selfish person. But that he’s also very unfortunate and he doesn’t want tie you with someone who, he thinks, is actually worthless. He probably, deeply, thinks you deserve more.

Though his selfishness eventually wins out and well... Won’t you forgive him for it? :) For tying you down to this worthless second prince? 

I think his own self-awareness does make him try harder. Not for everyone or everything... but for you. Just for you. I think that would be Leona’s love language--spending time with you, trying for you.

He’d appreciate if you didn’t call him out on it though, that would be very embarrassing. 

Looking back, I’m surprised that it was the only version where none of the other boys from his dorm showed up lol. Which means Ruggie is the sole character who has yet to appear in the “lucky ending” series, huh.

My favourite lines from his story that still leaves me breathless and patting my past self in the back: ““I’m home—” you said—even if a part of you felt that home should have been two green eyes, a cocky smirk, and a warm patch of sunlight on the grassy ground.”

Like honestly, what was I on? Who was she?

Azul is, like Leona, someone who is so keenly aware of the things he’s lacking. In fact, he’s someone who thinks he’s lacking when he’s probably perfect in some aspects. He might act proud but a part of him--I think--thinks its not enough. It’s never enough. He can certainly do better still.

In that light, it’s why he thinks he’s undeserving of a partner. Especially one who is “kind” and “understanding.” While ultimately, Azul deserves people in his life who are that and “accepting” of him--I think he still thinks he doesn’t. 

And thats why he lets go of the Yuu!Reader. It’s why he doesn’t “chase” after her like Leona did.

It’s because he’s selfish, because he wants her--that he forces himself to let go. 

Azul needs someone who’ll tell him that he is worth something and that he’s definitely worth the effort. So please praise him a lot until he’s crying in happiness. I’m sure it’s the one thing he’s always wanted to hear from people around him.

Also my Poly!Octavinelle Agenda has never died and I am pleased Past!Ai got away with so much Poly!Octa hints in this story lol. But honestly, regardless of wht Octavinelle says... god, you can tell they genuinely care about each other.

I recently rewatched Octavinelle’s chapter and... by god, the amount of things I missed out on first watch. Jade’s concern when he realized Azul wanted to get rid of that photo... The fact Floyd was so willing to drop the fight to return to Azul too... Anyways, Poly!Octa Agenda for life.

Favourite lines: “Azul’s pathetic whimpers turned into guttural sobs. His fingers spread to cover his eyes—and his glasses slid off his face, down to his lap and then to the ground—at his actions. His whole body shook as he cried his heart out.”

It’s not as poetic as a lot of my other favourites, but for some reason these lines always get me when I reread them. There’s something so visceral about it. 

Azul’s piece is probably the least visually stimulating out of all these stories? His was so emotionally driven compared to the others and I worried a lot about that.

I think I remember I was crying so badly as I was writing this. 

Kalim is really hard for me because I feel like I struggle a lot with finding conflict in his character? He’s such a genuinely nice person, I find it hard to believe that the Yuu!Reader would feel alienated from him or something. So I brought in “environment” to get in the way. 

My use of celestial imagery for Kalim is because of the Scarabia trailer! I really loved how it put Kalim as the sun and Jamil as the moon. I definitely will take advantage of that when I get around to writing for Jamil.

So because I wanted to use the sun, I chose to use the idea of comets for Kalim? I think I remember something about how meteors are drawn to the gravitation pull of the sun and can “escape” it or “be destroyed” by it. Haha, hot. 

Jamil is someone who ultimately cares about Kalim too and I had fun writing his banter with the Yuu!Reader. I think I wanted to decribe the shadows licking his face reminscent to the marks from his Overblot but... I felt like doing that would give Jamil too much focus so I ultimately decided against it.

It would’ve been hot though. 

Oh yes, one thing I wanted to talk about is Kalim’s rushed proposal. I remember people talking about it in the tags, comments... even in asks at that time. The reason he does it is because he’s someone who didn’t realize his feelings until you spelled out your own. It was a sort of: “Oh. Right. That is the word I’d use to describe my feelings.” 

My favourite lines from his story is: “How does one bid goodbye to the sun?” and “No one ever willingly bids goodbye to the sun.They spend the rest of their lives trying to find the right way back to it.”

My god, who was this genius.

Vil is probably the most visually stunning out of all these stories. I feel like my stories go from super vivid imagery and setting to just complete emotional disasters lol. (Vil being the former and Azul’s being the latter... not that it’s bad, it actually suits the characters). 

Oh man, I remember thinking that Vil is such a hard character to write because we don’t know what his motivation for perfection is. All we knows is that he wants to be the best but, why? 

It’s like, for example, Idia. His motivations could be otaku-related. He doesn’t want to go to class because he’d rather go play or something. That sounds in character--but Vil was so hard because he wanted perfection.

But we already see him as such a perfect character, so what else did he need to be even more perfect? In that light, Chapter 5 did a really good job on presenting Vil’s motivations. 

But honestly, I think I can comfortably say that the Vil I’ve written so far is pretty accurate? To his character. I’m really grateful I read his chat lines because his comment about intelligence really got me thinking about his possible motivations. It made it really easy to understand that Vil wasn’t like majority of the real world’s influencers. 

One other thing that I was really happy about with his story is the use of the flower language. It’s something I hope I can use more because it’s so beautiful. 

Oh! And the roses the Yuu!Reader talks about are double delight roses. They are specifically bred to have two colors--yellow in the center and pink on the outside. I thought it fitting that the Yuu!Reader breed special roses for Vil.

They can be called... err... Vil Roses?

My favourite lines from his story is:  ““My happiness will not be dictated by others—no, Vil Schoenheit is a person who will grasp happiness with his own hands.” [...] “I’m giving you this button because I’ve already found happiness by your side.”” 

This line was actually inspired by Zelda C.W.’s MYth series. Specifically Hera’s story, Will. 

Idia ...for him, I somehow had a very hard time imagining him trying to tell the reader to stay. Like that didn’t compute for me? I felt like his version was better approached in a more comedic light somehow. 

I also felt that it would be cuter if the Yuu!Reader had already chosen to stay and Idia would need to hastily retrack his confession... Unfortunately, Yuu!Reader won’t let him. 

Honestly looking back on it, I wonder how much of Chapter 6 is going to make me scream and want to rewrite Idia’s part? 

My favourite lines from his story is: “He was never particularly good at lying—nor was he good at keeping secrets from you. You were a person he considered a dear friend—and he was always the type of person who ended up spilling everything to you. He liked being able to talk about the things he enjoyed—he liked that he had found someone who wanted to hear him out.”

A lot of my interpretation for Idia is closely linked to personal experience as an anime, manga and gaming fan. It was just a couple of years ago where people would actually be bullied for liking these things--but nowadays its become a norm. It’s... stunning actually but it makes me happy to know that maybe nobody will be judged for loving anime.

That being said, Idia’s longing to find someone he can talk to is something I really relate too--back then, it was so difficult to find someone to talk to about my interests... So I interpreted Idia as much the same. That what he enjoys about the Yuu!Reader is their ability to simply sit and listen to him talk. 

Malleus... man, recently I’ve been starting to fall in love with him all over again. He was my first oshi ever... Anyways, moving on. You think I’ve talked enough about immortal x mortal but nope, we are not done. I love this theme in general, romantic or platonic. 

I will never shut up about it you can’t make me. 

Sebek having a good enough friendship with Yuu!Reader is such a delicious concept. Like mutual respect and Sebek understanding that Yuu!Reader gives Malleus a different type of companionship that Sebek, Silver or Lilia couldn’t... 

And also, ultimately, Sebek and Yuu!Reader do love Malleus. In different ways, but I like the thought of Sebek respecting that and respecting the Yuu!Reader.

Me realizing just now that Silver joins Ruggie in the: “has never appeared in a lucky ending fic club.”... Sorry Silver, I swear soon. Once we get more content on you.

Celestial themes for Malleus are primarily, again, because he only ever seemed to meet you at night. And I thought it would be wonderful, if you were a bright spark to him. 

Favourite lines are definitely:  “Oh, bright light… I would prefer to live the rest of your life by your side… rather than spend centuries contemplating what it could have felt… to hold you in my arms.”

I am, always, going to be such a big sucker for the idea of immortals constantly remembering and loving mortals. Always holding them close in their memories, because in that way--their lovers have become immortal with them. 

I also like to imagine that he eventually figures out a way to connect your worlds together so you can still talk to your friends and family from that world. He is one of the most powerful magicians around, I’m sure its possible.

Rook was honestly the most difficult piece for me to write because he’s so hard(?) for me to understand. He’s a mess of contradictions honestly and I... guess I’m excited to see what he’ll do come Chapter 6. 

I actually rewrote his story so much. I got about 500 words with a different idea/plot in mind before deleting that completely and restarting from scratch. 

I feel like Rook is someone who talks big and talks about love without actually knowing what it truly might feel like. He’s someone who doesn’t understand it and ends up mistaking it for his fascination. 

Aside from me enjoying inserting other characters from the same dorm as much as possible, I felt that Vil was the perfect person to snap some sense into Rook.

Epel’s appearance there is basically to reflect how much I really hope the first year kids get really close to one another. 

Rook is also someone who I think, doesn’t try to explain himself too much. He’s someone who I think talks a lot, but if people don’t understand him then he doesn’t need to be understood? That’s my impression. Lol, when “lucky ending” became a character study. 

I also really loved the idea that Rook was fine with people running from him--to him that makes it all the more thrilling. But then you start running away from him and that just ends up making dread pool in his stomach. 

My favourite lines from his story: “‘When something ends, it must be sad. So, tell me then, how an ending could be so beautiful?’ [...] .‘But there was one ending that was beautiful, non?’ [...] ‘That’s right. ‘They lived happily ever after’—are those not the words that define a beautiful ending?’”

I used the dusk metaphor for Rook. My idea is that he starts seeing dusk as an ending and how he can’t fathom how any “ending” is beautiful. When a story ends, it’s not beautiful to him, humu. But when that ending is the happily ever after then... That makes all the difference. 

Lilia was actually easier than Rook’s but also fairly difficult. I had written the middle of Lilia’s piece while stumped on Rook’s actually. Lilia’s was probably easier because I love the idea of immortals and mortals.

I don’t really like the idea of mortals becoming immortals. Like, yes, it’s certainly sweet and spending eternity with a one true love is definitely the best possible ending but... I think there’s so much weight in an immortal choosing to love a mortal while knowing that they will ultimately lose them.

The biggest theme for Lilia is definitely time.

Thinking about it now... There’s been a lot of things in real life that’s just... Made me think about how we have less time than we actually think we have. And I think I ended up channeling that through Lilia... Though I feel like it is ultimately things Lilia would think about though. 

The most important imagery would probably be the stars.

I honestly wanted to avoid it because I used celestial imagery for both Kalim and Malleus but the words just flowed out in a way that I felt that I couldn’t replace. So I went with it. 

Lilia is no stranger to loneliness. One of the reasons he feels less alone is because he has family now and he doesn’t want to rob you of that. Family is so important to him because they are people who are meant to be with you--they are people who will make you less lonely--or so thats how I think? he thinks. 

My favourite lines from his story: “He would relish in the way—You made the world pause. You made a moment extend into an eternity. You made an immortal crave just a little more time.”

I’m so immensely proud of this one? I don’t really have much else to say. There’s something so raw about it that I love. Also the part where it continues on to say that  “Because there is never enough time.”

Me realizing my extra notes is just half me simping over these characters, half sharing headcanons, have actually giving good advice? perspective?, half song lyrics, half character study/analysis?

“lucky ending” is about change. Whether we want them to happen or not it’s... the human condition to change. For better or worse, we change--day by day. I think we all operate under a small panic about how everyday things are changing...

But “lucky ending” is also about the things that don’t change. Won’t change. Will never change. The things worth holding onto, the thing worth fighting for... or so I’d like to think.

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[thequeenb]

Who Knew A Car Accident Would Bring Us Closer?

I know that i disappeared but guess who is back😏

My routine is very simple. I get up early, i take a shower, i brush my teeth, i put on a glamorous outfit and i drive in the heart of the city to buy a ridiculously overpriced coffee.

Today i was in a good mood. The gala was near and things with Zoey seems to get better. What always ruin it is Poppy and her attitude whenever she sees me. I roll my eyes turning the radio on and oh my god this my song!

I sing along as my body moves to the rhythm, i am a good driver dont get me wrong but when my favourite song plays i can be clumsy. Driving in the city is an annoying habit i had to get used to. When i was driving back in Farmsville things were less complicated and ugh don't get me started with the bad driving skills some people have

I am near the parking lot of the University when my favourite part comes up and i close my eyes for a brief second to feel the music as i sing along the last verse. But then the music stops, and when i open my eyes i see another car coming with full speed towards me. My instincts kick in as i try to avoid it but soon all i can feel is glass spraying around.

I don't dare to open my eyes as i am shocked and overwhelmed. I try to move but the airbag is suffocating me. Think Bea, think. My free arm tried to reach out for my phone as i hear voices around my car. If only i was more focused on the road, damnit!

My anxiety takes over as i try to breathe and only then a man is on the side of my door screaming

"Hey! Are you okay in there? The paramedics are on their way, please hold on"

His voice fades away and my stomach turns. I didn't even notice the pool of blood around my chest, what the fuck is happening. Zoey, i need to call Zoey right now, but before i try to find my phone a familiar sweet voice calls out to me

"Bea are you okay? Please respond to me" despite the current situation i have a faint smile, how adorable she is worried about me.

"Zoey.." thats all i manage to say in hope she heard me

Everything feels heavier as minutes pass by and all i can feel is the blood running down my body. Its a weird sensation really, but i wish none of you ever get to see what it feels like. Everything is sticky and wet but all i can do is try to keep my eyes open.

I wonder who had the audacity to hit my car but then i feel guilty remembering that i am the one to blame mostly. Soon enough i can hear sirens and i am finally relieved.

After several tries the paramedics got me out of the car and the bright light of the sun is blinding. I know i shouldn't complain but what if this is my last moment? Ugh i am sure Poppy is laughing right now with her friends, i can even imagine the conversation

"Did you hear what happened to Hughes? That silly farm girl got into a car accident"

Ugh what am i even thinking. I feel a soft material underneath me and i hardly get a glance around me. I can see Professor Kingsley looking at me with her worrying eyes, then there is Zoey next to me fighting with a woman to let her come with me in the ambulance and is that? No my mind is playing tricks i lost a lot of blood. But no its really her. I see Poppy approaching the man that probably hit my car and she is yelling? Very funny brain, don't mess with me right now. She is happy not sad i am sure

Before i can think more the doors of the ambulance closed but i feel a warmth in my hand

"I am here Bea, please hold on" Of course its Zoey and she is holding my hand tight, i cant imagine how scared she is but i am glad she is here with me. I feel so tired i need to rest my eyes, no no! I have seen to many movies about people dying this way i need to stay awake.

I can feel my heart beat in every sore part of my body, the blood is now dry and uncomfortable, my breath is getting slower and slower. The bright lights above me are painful and the voices around me start to fade. Don't tell me this is the end. I didn't win the crown yet to rub it in Poppy's face, i didn't see her shock after i am pronounced the Queen of Belvoire but wait. Why the hell am i thinking of her that much?

My eyes cant stay open anymore despite my numerous tries, i can hear Zoey encouraging me with the nurses but i give up into my desire to rest. I squeeze her hand one last time before i pass out.

____

How many of you watch Grey's anatomy? Don't lie i am sure some of you have, especially with Sandra Oh that good looking woman god, but thats not the point, don't lie to me. Well despite your answers this is what it feels like. I can hear the machines around me as well as my heart beating steadily

How did things get this sad so fast? It was supposed to be a normal day for me but i guess i had to ruin it. I wonder who's here with me and oh my god i am about to have a heart attack. Next to me is standing who? No guess..i will give you a hint, blonde hair..rich girl..who am i kidding, its the one and only Poppy Min-Sinclair

I blink a couple of times and she notices. Don't tell me she was here the whole time, maybe she came to make fun of me, is Veronica here? Does she film my failure? Oh. We are alone great.

"You are awake" she says as she is slowly approaching

Its hard to speak but i try to do some effort "I guess you are disappointed" i say smiling but she doesn't, she actually looks concerned

"I knew you were bad at almost everything but being a bad driver is so embarrassing Hughes" she roll her eyes, sitting in a chair next to my bed

Oh hell no who says that? Is that what comforting means to her?

"If you are here to make fun of me do me a favour and close the door behind when you leave" i don't look at her, instead i turn around, i am to tired for this conversation

"I was the one who saw the accident" she says and to my surprise she sits up to study me closer

"When i saw your cheap- ah..when i saw your car i was the one who called the paramedics you know"

I turn around to look at her and i can see her eyes sparkling under the bright lights "I mean i didn't have a choice right? I could not help at all but.."

My eyes start to tear up, every word feel more genuine than the other but why? Aren't we enemies? Doesn't she hate me? My thoughts are flooded with painful memories, how embarrassed she made me feel and then it clicks

"But you like me" i say almost breathless. She is shocked and that's how i know i am right, this can't be happening.

I didn't realize that i was crying until Poppy laid her head over my chest carefully. I can hear her sobs, everything that she had been feeling all day come out now and all i can do is cry with her, holding her tight.

"I can't believe i almost lost you" she says as her tears take over again

"Shhh, i am here..i promise" its all i can say. Today was definitely a weird day but in the end it brought us together

After we both calm down she doesn't move, instead i stoke her hair even though i feel weak and i can feel her smiling "the man that hit you is getting sued"

A low laugh escape my lips as she stands up gazing at me "but if you tell anyone about this you will be next" but its her teasing because her eyes say otherwise

I want to thank her, i want to forgive her for all the bullshit she put me through but words aren't enough to describe how i feel. Instead i yank her by her shirt and i kiss her softly. I can feel her body relax against mine but she is careful not to hurt me. I can feel her calm down as she takes a deep breath.

Pulling back she has this grin, its my favourite "Well, your kissing skills aren't as bad as your driving ones"

We both laugh as she takes a sit next to me, we are both talking about various topics and the more we discuss the more we realize we have a lot of things in common. Poppy and i are alike, but unlike her i show my good, kind side. I am greatful she is here because now i know who she truly is.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr

[mxchellesworld]

𝟑 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰, 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: no explicit smut, impact play, use of toys

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

***

Getting up from the barstool you made a beeline headed straight towards the stage. There were no chairs so you assumed everyone just stood and watched. Letting the area fill up a bit, you waited exactly to follow Cat’s instructions of being smack in the center. 

After about five minutes the lights started to dim signaling the their show was about to start. You wondered what they were going to do. Obviously they weren’t about to bust out in song and dance. The single chair and square table filled with toys let you know it was going to be a demonstration of some sort. But were they going to use them on each other? Was it just going to be sharing detailed information or were they actually going to go all out?

Soon they walked out arm in arm like they had before. Spencer’s dress shirt was now folded, exposing his veiny forearms. Cat looked the same, donning a coy smile. Once they reached the center their eyes glossed over the crowd until they met your own. Spencer leaned down to whisper something in her ear. Neither of them sparing you from their piercing gaze while the exchange happened. 

They shared a look of approval before starting whatever they had planned. Spencer spoke up first. 

“Thank you all for joining us tonight. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time in the Library so far,” he said as his eyes looked over the crowd. 

“Tonight we’re doing something a bit different,” Cat spoke looking around trying to get the audience intrigued. It worked as there was a low murmur at her words, “Tonight we’ll give one of you the chance to help with our demonstration,” she paused in her sentence to look right at you, “punishment. In front of everyone here.”

You could feel your eyes widen. The heat on your cheeks rising. She had to have been talking about you. This had to have been what Spencer meant when he said to follow directions. 

You noticed the people around you were just as excited. Who wouldn’t be? With the chance to have both of their hands on you. You had to stop yourself from clenching your thighs together at the thought of being up there for everyone to see. 

They walked around the stage looking down at the audience, building up anticipation over what lucky patron was going to be at the end of their wrath. They didn’t seem like forgiving dominants. Although Spencer seemed like he was a lot kinder than Cat. There was a sheen of goodness under his honey eyes. 

They made their way to center stage, Cat pulled out the chair from the table and brought out to face the crowd. 

“We know who we want,” she said looking you up and down. 

You were buzzing at what was to come. And you knew they could sense how desperate you were. It was almost pathetic. However that all washed away as soon as they picked the lucky volunteer for the night. 

Spencer pointed his finger to a girl next to you. She was small even in her heels. A baby pink dress was loose on her frame but still tight enough to show her curves. Her auburn hair was shining under the low lights of the stage. 

God you were so stupid. Of course they’d pick someone else over you. You bit your lip as you watched her walk up the steps onto the stage. You didn’t want to let the disappointment spread across your features. You thought about turning around and leaving to save yourself the embarrassment but the way their hands roamed her body as she sat down pulled you right back in. 

“What a pretty little angel,” Cat said as she put a strand of red hair behind the girls ear. 

“You’ll be good for us won’t you princess?” Spencer spoke as he let his fingers trace her shoulders and collar. 

It struck you. Those were the things they had said to you earlier. This was all a game to get you riled up. The striking eye contact and use of names. This was all for you. Yet you still felt a twinge of jealousy at the fact their hands were on someone else. You didn’t even know these people yet you felt so connected. 

You were pulled out of your head by a loud sigh being let out. You looked up to see Cat with a fist full the a girls hair. Spencer was leaning forward with his hand on her cheek trailing his thumb over her parted glossy lips. 

“You’ve been acting like a brat tonight haven’t you?” Cat spoke out. 

The girl tried her best to nod in their grasp. 

“Answer your Mistress when she’s talking to you,” Spencer said to the girl with a light slap on her cheek. 

You both basically whimpered at the same time. You were in a spell watching how they treated the tiny girl up on the stage. 

“I’ve been so bad tonight Mistress,” the girl spoke shifting her head a little to face Cat. 

However Spencers hand on her chin pulled her head back to face the front. 

“I didn’t say you could look at me,” Cat gritted out into the girls ear. She nodded her head over to Spencer. He picked up the cue as a sign to grab something off the table. He grabbed ropes and a riding crop. 

Walking back Spencer leaned in and whispered in the girls ear. You assumed asking if it was ok to continue as she nodded in response with a kind smile. He handed the crop to Cat while he tied the girls hands behind the chair. She was clenching her legs to try and gain some friction.

Cat scoffed at the sight and landed a smack on her thigh, “Spread your legs. That slutty cunt doesn’t deserve to feel any pleasure.” 

“I’m sorry Mistress,” the girl let out in a breathy whisper. It was barley audible but easily heard over the silent crowd. Everyone was in awe at what was going on before their eyes. 

_

The time of their set went by in a blur. After having her count the strikes Cat unleashed on her thighs you were basically clocked out mentally. You were swimming in the possibilities of what would happen if you just got a chance to spend the night with them. People started to disperse as they wished everyone a good night. You turned to leave as Spencer started to untie the girl. He pulled her up and handed her a bottle of water. 

You headed towards one of the many velvet chairs in the lounge. Taking the time to people watch and observe how they carried themselves in the place. You pulled your phone out of the small purse on your shoulder to check the time. 1:30 in the morning. You felt like you had been up for a life time but the lust coursing through your veins was enough to keep you awake. 

You felt a strong hand on your shoulder which made you lift your head to see who it was. 

“Did you enjoy the show?” Spencer said as he sat in the chair opposite you. He spread his legs, running his hands over the material of his dark dress pants. 

“It was alright,” you answered crossing your legs. You watched the veins on his hands and long fingers spread over his thighs. 

“Just alright? Was it the fact we picked someone less desperate over you?” He said as he licked his lips. 

Your breath hitched at his words. So you were right, they did do that on purpose. But why?

Just then Cat sauntered over and sat on one of Spencers thighs. Wrapping her arm behind is neck and playing with the curls. You noticed his strong grip around her waist. They were the poster image for power couple. 

She looked over to you before speaking, “So tell me little angel, have you done anything like this before?”

“Um no not really,” you said crossing your arms over your front. Something about their heated gaze on you made you feel small. 

She got up from her perch on Spencer and moved to sit over your lap. She picked up your chin with her finger. 

“Would you like to?” she said softly. 

You furrowed your brow a little at her question, “like to what?”

“Be our little plaything,” she finished, whispering in your ear then pressing a little kiss on the shell of it. 

You looked over at Spencer who gave you a nod of confirmation. You turned your head over to look back at Cat in the eyes. 

“Yes Mistress.” 

She gave you a devilish smile then stood back up. Spencer stood as well and stepped over to you. The both of them towered over your seated form. So thats how the girl from earlier felt. 

“Go wait for us outside princess, we’ll be out in a few minutes,” he said before they turned to talk to other patrons.  

Again you had no other choice but to follow their demands. You walked out to front seeing Penelope still sitting at the front desk. 

“Ooh how was your first time honeybunch?” she asked excitedly. 

“It was good,” you smiled at her, glossing over the fact her bosses were about to do unholy things to your body. Or so you hoped. 

“Great! Here’s my number if you need anything. Have a goodnight Y/n, be safe,” she said handing you a pink sticky note with glittery writing on it. 

“Goodnight Penelope,” you said waving before walking out the door. 

The night air was prickling your skin. Yet something told you that was going to be the least amount of pain you’d feel all night. 

“Ready to go angel?” you heard Cat from behind you. 

You turned around and nodded making your way over to where they stood, blood racing at the thought of all the possibles which could happen later in the night. 

[valleynix]

Oh God, i completely forgot to mention in my last review about my feelings towards Miranda! I was so caught up with theories and my love for Cass and all the other things, so it slipped my mind, but here i am! Again. Sorry if im being too invested and write too much, id probably get bored of myself already(:

So. I know Miranda is like the main villain and all, but since last month ive been reading a lot about her, watching, investigating and im not embarrassed to say i love this character almost as much as i love the Dimitrescus. It pains me to see so little fics written about her as the main character, truly. Yes, she's the villain, yes, she's hurt a lot of people, killed a lot, but so did the sisters? The Lady D? So if we can redeem them, even if their motives are just hunger, sure as hell we can forgive Miri her urge to bring her daughter back. Her daughter! And now im embarrassed to say that id probably do the same thing if a had a chance to bring my loved ones back, even if i dont have kids rn. Sad, but true. I think most of us would try to.

So what im trying to say, is that when i first started to read LPA i was like yes, Miranda can go to hell, but now, when i got the whole picture and i really know the character the game gave us i have to say i love her a lot and that now i have to shove my feelings for her out out the window when i read such works where she's supposed to be hated. But its okay really, im used to it by now:D

And so im really disappointed to see how little fics are out there about Miranda and mcs being together, bringing Eva back, loving each other dearly (because i certainly would!), caring about each other. Where mc makes her feel better, wiser, truly happier. Ive see like one fic about that and thats just it, no more. Thats so sad and makes me kinda want to write something myself but im too busy with finals right now.

But anyways, even if Mother Miranda is a bitch sometimes i love Miri dearly. And i get why she receives hate so much (not literally but you get the idea) but i just love her as a character. I even started drawing her portrait on my wall right next to Dani's and let me tell you - her wings are a missive pain in the ass even tho i adore them. All those little feathers and lights they reflect, jeez, so hard to pain! Still worth it tho.

And she's so divine and so godly and strong and beautiful and powerful. And she's so smart! God, she's so smart. And when she grins evilly just like that-

Again, sorry for rambling, just wanted to get this out of my chest.

As always, sending my love for you and for LPA. Stay safe❤️

i could literally never grow bored of you; your reviews/asks/messages are the highlights of my day <33

as much as i've said i don't like her and call her a feathery bitch in my writing, miranda is still a very intriguing character. like, have you read her lore? homegirl was deadass about to kill herself because she lost her daughter and couldn't save her. also, i imagine a lot of the extent she goes to in order to revive eva is because of the mold, since I'm assuming it definitely alters peoples' minds and makes them cruel (like the bakers in RE7)

a lot of people in fics, i've noticed, tend to make her out to be a 2D antagonist who does horrible stuff just because she can. in LPA (and later in TPtM), I've tried to give her very good reasons for what she does. losing her loved ones over and over, being unable to revive them, no matter what you do... that takes a toll on people, and miri's been alive for over a century, if I'm not mistaken. she's just traumatized and wants her family back

but, you're completely right. we forgive lady d and her daughters for being cruel and write off their horrible actions, but many can't do the same for miri? she has motives behind her actions, even in canon, and she's a very good villain. she deserved more screen time than what she got

we need more fics of miranda and the mc being together and being *happy*. she deserves it after everything she's gone through. she deserves to hold her daughter again

i'd definitely love to see your paintings one day! I'm sure they look lovely and you probably capture them so well <3 i can only imagine how difficult the details of her feathers are, but you've got this! and, maybe when you have some free time, you could be the one to write that happy fic with miri and her love?

you never have to apologize for speaking your thoughts, i love hearing them. come to my ask box or DMs anytime you like, and stay safe and healthy during your finals. you got this <33

[aestheticsuwu]

🌁Escape from the city and follow the sun ☀️

( part 2 of Okinawa trip AU)

.......

She knew her Dad planned the vacation to give her a break but she knew deep down he just wanted a new scenery just for a little bit . When he offered she instantly accepted , maybe they would make some good memories for her to look back in the future .

She was excited to tell the rest of her friends about the trip , and she wasn't expecting Robby having an interest of Okinawa . Guessing her father and Robby had that connection of the Myagi Do History . It was cute how he was rambling telling her and Demetri fun facts .

And When Robby had stayed for dinner he wanted tell Sam more of what he had learned . She was more than happy when Dad had asked Robby if he wanted come .

..... .....

" Robby would you like to come with us ? "

He knew his mouth was hanging open , the question surprised him . He wanted to say yes but he also knew that the trip was only for Mr. LaRusso and Sam .

" That would be awesome but I don't want to intrude and Mr. LaRusso you planned it for you and Sam . "

" Well I want you to go with us and I know Sam wouldn't mind . Your part of the family Robby,  you know that . And Don't worry about Johnny,  I will talk to him . So what do you say ? "

His heart always felt warmed when Mr.Larusso would remind him , He was like another Dad . He knew there was times he had to catch himself to not call him Dad . It Didn't help now that Mr . LaRusso and his actual dad were dating . Looking at Sam smiling at him encouraging him to accept , he gives them both a smile .

" I would love to , Thank you . "

And if he hugged Mr.Larusso longer than he intended and thought he could live with two dads for all his life nobody needed to know .

...... ..... ...... ...... ..

They were all at the dojo taking a break from class . He was in the middle of Sam and Miguel while Demetri was sitting in front of him . All were talking about the lesson but they noticed Demetri wasn't talking . And they all knew he constantly talked . Robby noticed that hawk was with the other students , usually he was with Demetri .

Turning to look if Sam and Miguel noticed but guessing by looks that Sam was glaring at hawk and Miguel concerned look . He guessed he wasn't the only one .

" Demetri did you and Hawk fight ? "

He asked him , Sam and Miguel begin to questioned also .

" Did he hurt you !? "

" I don't think Hawk  would hurt Demetri , Sam."

" Wouldn't be the first time , Miguel ! "

" But Hawk changed and I know he wouldn't do it again . "

He interrupts them before anyone would notice their little argument .

" Guys , let Demetri tell us . Let's not jump into conclusions , I'm not big fan of Hawk but let's give him the benefit of the doubt . "

All three watched their friend to answer patiently . They sometimes forget that Demetri didn't react well to being rushed. They had to be patient with him .

" He didn't do anything , I just i-i-i.  I'm having problems at home but it's fine .

The three watch him stand up as his Dad calls them to fall in and break was over . And he knew he wasn't the only one of the three worried and by the looks of Hawk he was also worried.

...... ...... ..

Running up to catch Demetri she ask him if he can come over to her house to help her pack . Smiling as he agrees she discreetly turns around to give Miguel and Robby a thumbs up. Giggling went Demetri waves a goodbye , and Miguel and Robby try to act discreetly as if they unaware of Sam's idea 

.It was cute , she was glad that both Robby and Miguel got along now . Realising they have stuff in common decideding to have a truce , Now they were friends . Both were big softies , funny and loyal the plus side they were Hot .

The three agreed Sam would be the one to talk to Demetri . Knowing her and Demetri was more closer , He was the one who helped her deal with her panic attacks . She helped him with his feelings for a certain Mohawk boy , although she didn't understand why him . But she guessed know one would be good enough for her Demetri . She loved him like a brother.

Don't get her wrong she loved her little brother but her and  Demetri understood each other.  Thats why she had to get the bottom of the problem .

" Is it cold in Okinawa ? ,  just in case take a couple sweaters and coats . Better safe than sorry right . "

As Demetri pulled out her clothes , she decided  it was the right time to ask .

" Dem , you know you can tell me anything right , even if it's bad . Im ... We are worried about you and its not just today that we noticed . I just want you to know that i got your back "

" I know , I just ... I been having problems with my mother . She doesn't understand why I forgived Hawk , so I tried to not bring up anything around her . She's usually not around , so I invited Hawk over , we were playing video games and catching up . Guess who decided to show up at the moment Eli tries to kiss me "

Her heart broke watching her friend struggle , he paces around the room and she knows Demetri is trying not to break down . She goes up to him and hold his hand .

" It was so embarrising , she threw a fit saying I was ruining my life . kicked out Eli , wouldn't be surprised he didn't want talk to me again . Said pretty much I'm a disgrace to keep it short . I'm sorry  "

 

She hugs him as tight as she could , she got teary eyed hearing Demetri cry . She was so thankful for having her parents , it wasn't fair people had to go through .

" You don't have to be sorry ok , She's wrong she doesn't know you the way we do . You can stay with us today , and if hawk doesn't speak to you I know Robby and Miguel will knock some sense into him . "

Later that night her Dad tells her about including Demetri to the vacation . She tells him he's the best dad ever . She goes to bed listening to Demetri talk about Hawk message and the plans to the trip .

..... ...... ....

At first it was confusing and hard to adjust to her parents being divorce but once realise she realised they  were both  happier with other people . She came to terms with it , she got to talk to Miguel and Robby about their parent dating each other .

Miguel was glad her mom was happy with someone that knew how to cherish her the way she deserved . Robby wasn't mad or bothered that his dad and her dad were now dated . He just didn't like how he would constantly see his dad flirt with her dad .

When Johnny had accidently called his father Bambi in front of the class , he saw the way the blonde tried to get her father to forgive him all day  . She thought Mr . Lawrence wasn't bad after all.

Carmen and Johnny was a nice addition to the family , she gets to spend time more with Robby and Miguel .

...... .......

 

Miguel was excited to wake up as 4 : 00 in the morning and wait for sensei to pick him up . He never thought he would ever go to the trip with Mr. LaRusso . His mom was also going with them , the best part he was going with his friends too .

Saying Goodbye one last time to YaYa , he climbs inside the car saying hi to everyone . Falling asleep while sensei drives hoping they wouldn't crash .

" Were here , Everybody out ! Let's go ! . "

Walking up to the airport , as everyone follows their Sensei guiding them and telling them to keep an eye out for Mr LaRusso  . Turning to Hawk , he was surprised that his friend had managed to have energy to do his hair .

" This is going be fucking awesome dude , only sucks that we have to wake this early . "

" Yeah , we should thank Mr.LaRusso for inviting us and try not to start any fights with anyone meaning Sam or Robby . I know you dude . "

" Right , and I'm not the only that starts them , Who you crushing on now , pretty boy or the princess , or both "

Pushing hawk , as he says his comment with a smirk , He can't remember why he was friends with him now .

" Shut up , I don't know what your talking about . "

" Yeah and that why your blushing "

It only seemed right to flip him off and maybe push him to the floor if he didn't had found Mr. LaRusso and him mom .

" Sensei their over there , Oh My mom arrived to "  He told Sensei ,  pointing at the opposite direction , they all decided to  run towards them .

....... ....... .......

He think no one would ever get used to seeing both Senseis making out . They all showed their disagreement of the PDA even Amanda and Carmen were laughing for their childish behavior . Seeing as his dad signaling to the store the class showed their excitement as they cheered remembering Mr. LaRusso promise .

Robby didn't know what to decide on , the rest of the class had money their parents had given them . And he didn't want to ask Mr . LaRusso for money he had already bought him the ticket and clothes and not to include his suitcase .

" we can share something if you want , my Yaya gave  me extra money .  "

Turning to look at Miguel and Sam , He wanted to reject the idea but he guessed it wouldn't hurt .

" Hey pup get anything  LaRusso is paying , goes for you to Miguel . Keep an eye out on them little LaRusso . "

 

God his dad always had to embarrass him , he didn't mind him calling him that but in public was big No . And by the giggling of both Miguel and Sam they could tell he was blushing . He totally deserved some Oreos for this .

...... ..... ...

Everyone was vibrating with excitement as they got off the plane . Phone filled with selfies on the plane , Laughing along the random ideas to do in Okinawa . They couldn't wait for their adventure to start .

But then they lost Mr . LaRusso who was the only one that knew the place after they all got distracted because it seemed Hawks stupid products weren't here .

" Dude calm down , I think you could get some gel or whatever you use here too . "

" Miguel , I love you bro but right now I'm trying to find my shit . Hey ! What are you all laughing about  ! "

Once sensei had enough of the bickering , he told them to fall in line to find their missing Sensei  that was once spotted outside with two other people .

Waiting for a big cab for everyone to fit wasn't the best but as they were driven to their location . They were all memorized by the beauty , it seem like no picture can capture the beauty of it . Well not to Sensei apparently he rather look at the beauty of Mr . LaRusso.

He had to admit that was the best line he had heard from his Sensei .  He liked how everyone was smiling and Laughing . He also totally noticed the blush on Hawk and Demetri as they both were sitting to close . He was totally going to tease hawk as payback .

 

Sidenote : Part 2 of the Okinawa trip AU. Sam , Robby , and Miguel Pov . Sam and Demetri sibling dynamic . Next is binary boyfriends moodboard . Excuse for my shitty writhing

[thankfulformystans]

Baby Blue

Tw: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS

𝘈 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘭 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵

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Everyone expects me to be this perfect person. I mean hell will you be perfect if you saw your mom eat your brother and sister right in front of you?

From an outside prospective it seems fine. I mean I have a boyfriend, home, food and water which in a life ended world sounds amazing.

Though Carl doesn't understand my pain and where I come from. He uses the excuse "well everyone lost someone not just you." Yeah I understand that. But it was MY fault my siblings are dead. MINE. No one elses but me.

So her I am walking to find a place to be by myself. I know there is a lot of space in Alexandria, but there is people everywhere. Once I make it out of the gates and to my treehouse I start cutting

20 marks in total. 20 of my battles I lost. 20 bleeding cuts. 20 things to prove I am worthless. 20 is the number. 20.

I heard something climb up. I quickly clean the cuts and points my gun to the lader. "wow there missy don't shoot me please" Carl said then quickly realized I wasn't in the mood.

"how about we take a walk and talk. Dad lets me go alone now with an adult. Lets get your mind of things." He said with a small smile. "yeah that will be nice." I said quitely.

We finally made it to the main road walking around hoping a walker comes and attackes me.

"so um want to talk about it? or no?" Carl said. He is kind of awkward with these sections. Not knowing what to say or do. "no not really." I said quitely.

We walked for like an hour a good silent peaceful hour. That was until we bumped into a group. Happened to be my uncle Daryl and Carls dad Rick. "what are you to doing out here?" said my overly protective uncle.

"we took a walk to get our minds off of things." Carl says. "well lets go home it's getting late." Rick said. But you didn't want to go home so you spoke up. "can we walk for another hour or so?"

"its going to be dark time by then sunshine. I don't like you being out here. Hell with this boy and at night. Sorry sunshine." Daryl said. "I understand that umcle but I still need to take my mind of things."

"Sorry sunshine. Tomorrow you can first thing in the morning." He said. "I'll take you to walk tomorrow baby blue." Carl said.

Baby blue was a nickname my mom gave me when I was younger. Saying "when you need help or get lost find the sky baby blue." Since then mom,dad, my siblings and uncle Daryl calls you baby blue.

"why did you call me baby blue? Please don't call me that." You said not out of embarrassment but because baby blue is only a family thing. Well more like a mom to me thing.

"Daryl said that was your nickname your mom used to call you so I thought I can star-" you cut him off and basically yelled at Daryl "You told him! That wasn't your place to tell him!"

"Sorry baby blu-" but you quickly stopped him. "no. Don't call me that. Only mom,dad,marie and noah can call me that" Marie and Noah are my sister and brother. The ones that I watch died.

"but you used to let me call you that" Daryl said confused on the sudden changes. "Why are y'all fighting over a nickname." Rick said.

Oh I know he did not just say that. "its more then just a nickname. Its the only piece of my family I have of them." I said them clearly not understand.

"So what we all lost people Alisha! but I don't moop around and wait for me to die!" Carl said speaking loudly.

"MAYBE I JUST WANT TO DIE!" I yelled a little to loud. "Do you not understand where I am coming from? In 72 hours I lost my whole family! Y'all just expect me to be perfectly fine! Fine? I have to walk into my house knowing my family died there!"

Letting that out felt fine. But it wasn't all of it. I knew they know that so I continue "walking through those gates I feel like everyone in there hates me! Feels sympathy to me. Hell where were those people before? I am trapped! Trapped inside of my mind that I want to be out of! I hate this! I hate this stupid world. I hate this feeling. Hell I even hate breathing!"

Then they gave me that look. That look I hate. Sympathy. "please don't feel sorry for me." You said not wanting anymore sympathy. Carl came and hugged you. "I am sorry babe for what I said. I clearly don't think before I speak. Forgive me please" and he gave me the most adorable puppy eyes. "Fine but you have to do whatever I say for the next 24 hours" I said with a smile.

A real smile. A smile that wasn't fake. I haven't had a real smile in forever. I felt happy for once.

We went back after my whole blow up. I live alone now without my family. I am just making food for myself before Carl barge in.

"So I asked dad if I can move in with you. He said thats fine." He said with a smile.

"Really?" I said with a smile. I turned of the stove and went to give him a hug. I kissed him with so much love and passion.

"I love you Alisha so much. I will help you along the way in this new world." Carl states with a cheesey smile.

I then showed Carl my cuts. I wanted to show him. "I love you no matter what. But you cleaned them wrong. Let me clean them." and he went and cleaned them.

We spent the rest of the night cuddling. I love him so much.