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stardustintheabyss · 4 years

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“I’ve seen you before”

Oikawa x fem!reader

Sum: Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone. Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.

You let Oikawa Tooru in.

But was it a mistake?

Warnings: swearing because I have no r e s t r a i n t. Insecurity, bullying. Oikawa being a dumbass. Angst and fluff. Small spoiler at the end.

Word count: A lot, it’s....it’s long. My stupid tablet doesn't have word count capabilities

A/n: this is based on a dream I had. How dare the dream gods give me oikawa and not my husbando(s) tendou(kirishima) 😩 and I write to get scenarios out of my head before they drive me insane

Well at least he's pretty

ok I 💫may💫 have fallen a little while writing this

It had been a long weekend of practice and homework for Oikawa. So what better way to zoneout and relax before bed on Sunday night then scroll through his instagram feed.

He'd been scrolling through random sunset photos when he suddenly saw your face in the 'suggested for you' section. Your picture was of you with what he assumed was your cat perched on your shoulder. It was cute. You were cute.

And you did look familiar. Yes, he has seen you before. He's seen you at school. You're always by yourself, reading a book or on your phone sitting on a bench by the front gates.

He tapped on your photo. He started looking through your posts. Landscapes, food, your cute cat, flowers, sunsets, your family. Is what you mostly posted.

Then he came across the rare selfie.

He was wrong. You weren't just cute.

You were breathtakingly beautiful.

How had he not seen that at school?

You were looking off to the side, a small shy smile on your lips. Sunlight and cherry blossom petals in your wild wind blown hair.

He saw that you were online.

He wanted to talk to you and he didn't have the patience to wait until tomorrow at school.

Hey I've seen you before. You go to Aoba Johsai right?

A message popped up on your phone. One from Aoba Johsai's resident pretty boy and captain of the volleyball club. Oikawa Tooru. What the fuck? You weren't one of his pathetic fan girls that fawned all over him. You never cared for the drama that followed the popular crowd. And in all honestly he kind of repulsed you because of the way he let his ego be stroked. You saw him as a pompous ass. You've never shown any kind of interest in the setter. So why was he messaging you of all people? But curiosity got the better of you and you wrote back. Not like he's gonna talk to you at school anyway. He's popular and you're a loner. Two different worlds.

You know that sounds creepy right? But yes.

I'm just trying to be friendly 😔

I've seen that you sit mostly by yourself and thought you could use a friend 😁

You snorted. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought. Still, you didn't want to be too friendly towards him.

I don't care for hs drama but thanks for your chivalry ig 🙄

At this moment your college aged sister begged you to help with one of her cosmetology classes that's due tomorrow. Eyelash extensions. You don't wear makeup but she's your sister and she's giving you puppy dog eyes. You sighed, "Fine." Forgetting to exit out of your messages, you set your phone down, ready to be put through hell.

"Thanks sis! Okay I just need you to lay down and relax." While she got to work the messages on your phone went unnoticed by you.

I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, promise 😅

Y/l/n?

You there?

I'm REALLY sorry!

It's rude to leave people on read yk

Please ?

Y/l/n-chan?

Oikawa was panicking. He didn't mean to piss you off...and now he might have lost his chance to be your friend...or more maybe?

Trying to face time couldn't hurt right?

It just rang. And rang. And rang.

You didn't pick up.

Please. Y/n I'm truly sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets the better of me and I don't think about what I say. I just meant I'd like to be your friend. If you'd let me?

"All finished, babe." Your sister said. "You're looking gorgeous! If I do say so myself." She took a quick after picture for her class.

You grimaced. You never thought of yourself as pretty let alone gorgeous. "Thanks, I guess. Not one to toot your own horn, huh?"

She just rolled her eyes. " Your phone has been pinging like crazy by the way." Wiggling her eyebrows, "Talking to a boy? My baby sis, all grown up."

"W-what?" You stuttered, picking up your phone. 8 messages and 1 face time call. All from the setter captain. It must be your imagination because in the last message he sounded...flustered? You didn't notice the soft smile that graced your lips. But your annoying sister did.

"Oikawa. Isn't he some volleyball big shot at your school? Y/n, is that a smile I see?" She grinned from over your shoulder, seeing the messages.

"I-. Yes. He is." Furrowing your brows. Denying the truth, "And no, I am not smiling."

"Mmhm. Sooo you going to have a new 'friend' or what."

Your self consciencesness got the better of you. "Why would he want to be my friend? He's him and I'm...me." You bit your lip.

"You idiot. You really don't give yourself enough credit. Your smart, have a kind heart and you are beautiful. You just don't let yourself see it. Let someone in." She whispered in your ear giving you a hug.

You sighed. You believed that your sister believed in what she was saying...but years of middle school bullying ingrained into your heart and mind don't disappear overnight. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. 'Night sis."

"Good night y/n."

Getting ready for bed you looked in the mirror. You had a tiny smile, your sister was right, the lashes did look great.

It was late but right before you drifted off to sleep you sent Oikawa a message.

Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...

Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone.

Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.

You let Oikawa Tooru in.

...I wouldn't mind having a friend

The next day

He woke up to two new messages from you. He had tried staying up, waiting for a reply back but he must have fallen asleep. His phone still in his hand.

Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...

...I wouldn't mind having a friend.

A wide sleepy smile came across his face. Just about the time he was going to dm you his phone died. Where's my damn charger? He started rifling through everything, turning his room upside down. The last place he had it was...the locker room.

"Dammit!" He would just have to see you at school. He quickly got ready to go meet Iwa-chan and walk to school.

You weren't necessarily disappointed that Oikawa hadn't replied yet. Even though you had lowered your walls, you set the bar pretty low on expectations. Especially on a friendship with him. But that didn't stop you from being a little excited to see him. You were sitting in your favorite spot at school, reading. Same thing you did every day. It was on a small stone bench in the shade of a cherry tree near the entrance. Abruptly you heard a chorus of squealing. You've learned throughout high school this meant Oikawa had stepped on campus, Iwaizumi reluctantly in tow.

You smiled and waved.

He didn't see. But you didn't know that.

You thought he was ignoring you. Your smile faded. Last night must have been some prank. It wouldn't have been the first time someone decided it would be funny to play with you like a toy. You never should have listened to your sister and let your guard down.

Tears started to prick your eyes. You shut them tightly, willing them to not fall.

You were not going to cry over Oikawa fucking Tooru.

You grabbed you bag and headed to your classroom.

He had seen you get off the bench and walk towards the building. He tried making his way to you but there was just too many girls blocking him. Letting out a frustrated breath he waved his hand and yelled, "Y/l/n-chan!"

You didn't hear him.

Upset he couldn't get to you he said the only thing he could think of to get all these girls to back off for once. "I have a girlfriend, so could you please respect that." He didn't see the crazy girls make a connection between what he said about having a girlfriend and yelling your name.

He didn't realize he just put a target on your back.

At lunch

You were spinning the dial to your locker getting your lunch when you were shoved against it. You turned around and was met with several angry looking girls. Eyes darting between them. Your fight or flight instincts kicking in.

But nobody ever mentions the third option, which is what happened.

You froze.

"This is her?" Some girl sneered.

What were they talking about? You'd never done anything to these girls. You'd always kept to yourself, ensuring a situation like this wouldn't happen.

"She's not even pretty." Said another taking a sip from her juice carton.

"I bet it's just some joke. He wouldn't be with some fat worthless nobody." The girl who seemed to be the leader said as she pushed you to the ground.

Ignoring the tears starting to run down your cheeks and swallowing the lump forming in your throat, "What are you talking about?"

"Wow, Oikawa has himself a stupid girlfriend." said the leader.

"G-girlfriend?" Ok. Now you really had no clue what the fuck they were talking about.

"Stay the hell away from him. He's mine." With that she dumped the remains of the other girls juice carton on you and they walked away laughing.

Holditin.Holditin.Holditin. You chanted inside your head until you made it to the bathroom where you could cry without being bothered. You had stayed off the radar for years and now you were in the middle of it. You let out a sob, sliding to the floor. You felt like you were right back in middle school. Useless. Fat. Ugly. You brought your knees to your chest. Unloveable. Unwanted. Not worth anybody’s time. That’s why you shut everyone out when you became a first year at Seijoh. You didn’t want a repeat of middle school.

But it ended up happening anyway.

So you cried. You cried until you had no more tears. You let it all out until you didn’t care anymore. You had no problem in obeying the threat staying away from the bastard. She could have him. You stood and splashed water on your face trying to ease the puffiness around your eyes. Sighing you realized you'd probably have to stay after school until you looked like you hadn't spent your entire lunch break crying or your sister would ask questions. The now pink stained shirt you could explain away easily. The red and puffy eyes you could not. And you didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else.

Oikawa had looked for you at lunch but he couldn't find you. He did however hear some girls laughing and chatting about messing with ‘Oikawa’s girlfriend’. How could they mess with someone he made up? He turned to his best friend to ask. “Iwa-chan do you know what those girls were talking about?” he whispered so no one would hear, “How could they have messed with my ‘girlfriend’ when I made her up?”

“Idiot. Remember this morning when you called Y/l/n’s name and then immediately after said you had a girlfriend? And don't call me Iwa-chan, Shittykawa.” He rolled his eyes.

He blanched. He hadn’t realized what he'd done. Or apparently how psycho those girls are. He was so focused on you he didn't even whine about Iwaizumi’s regular insults. He wanted to find you and see if you were okay. To apologize for putting you in that situation. Standing abruptly making his chair screech, “I got to go find her--” The bell signaled lunch was over. Fuck. Maybe she’ll be on that bench after school. I’ve seen her there after practice sometimes.

After school

And by some miracle you were there, reading your book. Oikawa took a minute to look at you before he approached. As in your picture your hair was wild but not unkept, it was hiding your eyes. Your lips were slightly pursed while you were reading and your leg was bouncing contentedly.

You were beautiful.

You looked okay.

Until he got closer and finally saw your eyes. You had obviously been crying. By the looks of it a lot. He also saw you had a huge pink stain on your shirt. What had happened?

You had heard someone approach but decided it was best to ignore them.

“Are you okay Y/l/n-chan?” Oikawa spoke softly.

You were so not in the mood for this. For him. Your hands tightened around your book, flicking your eyes up at him and then back down, “Don’t.”

It was only a second but he saw the hurt in your eyes and it was his fault it was there, “I wanted to-” He tried to say but you didn’t let him finish.

Your voice was raw with emotions you didn’t want to feel for him. “WHAT?! You what? Wanted to play with my feelings some more? I bet you had a good laugh last night saying all that shit. And then completely ignoring me this morning when I waved. Making me feel like I could actually have a friend for once?” Your voice got louder and he flinched at your next words. “That someone would even want to be my friend? I fucking knew I shouldn't have but I let you in anyway.” You let out a dark broken laugh and said much quieter, “Even after what happened last time.” Coldly, “Don’t you have a harem to get back to? Just...just leave me alone Oikawa.”

His mouth dropped in shock. He hadn’t seen you wave. What did you mean by last time? He was heartbroken that someone had made you feel this horrible about yourself and he had reminded you of it. He didn’t want to leave you alone, he had to make you understand you were special. He laid his hand on your book trying to make you pay attention. He said the only thing he thought would make you listen. “Tooru.”

You stiffened, nobody calls him by his first name. You've never even heard his best friend call him Tooru. Your voice barely above a whisper, heart stuttering, “What did you say?”

“Tooru. You can call me Tooru. I-I was happy this morning when I woke up when I saw your messages. But my phone died before I could say anything.” He cleared his throat, “ I fell asleep waiting. I was going to talk to you but then that stupid crowd of girls came. Y/l/n I swear I didn’t see you wave! I tried calling for you but you must not have heard me," he frowned, "and I was frustrated so to get them to back off I said I had a girlfriend. I tried looking for you during lunch period but I couldn't find you. Then I heard what those girls did. I’m sorry I put that target on you. I was going to try looking for you again but then the bell rang. This spot after school was my last hope. Well for now anyway, until I got my phone charged.” He rushed out, praying you would forgive him.

“That’s what they were talking about...”

“What were they saying? If you don’t mind talking about it.” Gingerly he laid his hand on yours, holding it.

During his speech you had unconsciously torn your walls down yet again. You heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the concern in his eyes. This was real. He did care. Fuck. Somewhere between last night and this morning you had developed feelings, you just hadn't wanted to believe you weren't immune to his charms. Why did it have to be him. You swallowed, “They basically said I was worthless and wasn’t pretty enough for you. They also shoved me against my locker and onto the floor.” Taking a deep breath you revealed the most humiliating part of the whole thing, “Their leader dumped juice on me.” You looked away not wanting him to see the tears starting to run down your cheeks and you didn't want to see the pity you were sure to receive in his eyes.

“Hey.” He gently turned your face with a palm on each cheek. Wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “You are not worthless. And those girls are just jealous because your the most beautiful girl at Seijoh. I’m sorry they said and did those things to you. It was my fault and I want to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

You searched his face, surely he was lying to make you feel better? But you only found the truth in his warm brown eyes. Oikawa may be an ass but he does not lie. “Okay...Tooru.”

His heart fluttered when you spoke his name. Little did he know that yours did too when he asked you to call him that.

“Come on, lets go.” He smiled pulling you up. “I got something you can change into so you don’t have to wear that home.” He pointed to your ruined shirt.

You and him walked over to the gym. He had never let your hand go from pulling you up and you didn’t mind. You halted at the entry way dropping his hand. He was going to lead you in but, “Tooru, I can't. Only players and managers can go in the gym during practice time.”

He snorted, “Iwa-chan made that rule so the uh” he coughed, “students wouldn't bother us.” Taking your hand he pulled you in after him.

Your face was blushing like mad from the looks you were getting from his teammates. Nobody questioned their captain though.

“Please wait here while I change and grab you something.” He left you at the bleachers.

Iwaizumi walked over to where you were sitting. Before he could say anything you spoke. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not allowed in here but he drug me in and said he was going to get me something to change into." You plucked at your still sticky shirt. "I-I'll leave when Tooru comes back.” You found it easy for Tooru's name to roll of your tongue.

The usually intimidating looking ace smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Tooru, huh? We don't let students in during practice because they follow Oikawa in. He brought you in here. So you can stay if you want.”

You let out a surprised, “Oh.”

“You know he couldn't stop talking about you on the way to school this morning? About how he saw this and I quote ‘breathtakingly beautiful’ photo of you on instagram. He kept talking about your hair with cherry blossom petals in it and your shy smile.”

Your face was on fire. You knew the exact photo he was talking about. How far back did he scroll, it was buried under a ton of pictures.

“He was also worried about you the rest of the day after lunch. He was pretty upset, he even threatened to cancel practice if he didn’t find you on your bench.”

“Iwa-channnn!” Oikawa whined. “Friends keep secrets.” He didn’t look mad but his face was a light shade of pink. Was he...embarrassed?

“Ew. I’m not your friend Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi replied walking away. You laughed quietly, his tone said otherwise.

Except it wasn't just any shirt, it was his jersey. “I can’t wear this! Only couples do that!”

“You're right! You're my best friend!” Tooru called back.

He was met with a middle finger and a "Shut it, Tooru."

“Anyways here. You can change in the girls locker room over there.” He handed you one of his shirts and pointed to the room.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Well I did inadvertently call you my girlfriend. You wouldn't want to make me a liar now would you Y/l/n-chan?” He pouted.

“N-no, but I'm not your girlfriend?” You remembered the things Iwaizumi told you, your face deepening to a scarlet shade.

He took a step closer. You could smell his scent. He smelled like oranges, cloves and...clean sweat? Of course he could make sweat smell intoxicating. It was making your brain hazy. You almost missed what he said. “Do you? Want to be I mean.” The look he was giving you was so genuine and...sweet.

This was too much too fast, but your mouth and heart didn't care apparently what you thought. “I-.” You breathed. “Yes.”

His face lit up, taking one of your hands into his. “We’ll talk more after practice, yeah?”

All you could do is nod. Squeezing your hand as he left to go start practice you went to go change your shirt. It was long on you. Almost falling to the same spot your uniform skirt stopped. You rolled it up a little and tucked it in. That was better.

After changing you returned to your spot on the bleachers. You'd been to games before. It was practically an unsaid rule that all students were required to go. But you really never paid attention, usually doing anything but watching to kill time.

This time you paid attention. Tooru was remarkable. You could see why he was captain and how he got the nickname 'the great king'. You were so entrapped by the teams flow you didn't notice the hours fly by.

Tooru came back over to you, asking somewhat nervously, "So what did you think?" He didn't know why it felt so important to get praise from you. He just knew he wanted you to be proud of him.

Your smile was open and you had stars in your eyes, "You were amazing!" Dipping your toe at being flirty, you winked, "l'll have to pay better attention at the next game."

His heart leapt. You said he was amazing. "Thank you, that means so much coming from you." The second part finally clicked, "Hey wait! What do you mean you'll have to pay better attention at the next game?" He teased.

Sheepishly, "I never uh...actively watched a game before."

"That hurts Y/l/n-chan. Just you wait until the next game." He smiled, "So can I walk you home? It's late and you shouldn't walk by yourself."

"Sure. I don't live far though." You returned his smile.

After he went and changed out of his practice clothes he outstretched his hand for you to take, interlacing your fingers with his. When you got to the gates he asked which way. You pulled him to the left. You curious about earlier.

"So about what Iwaizumi said..." You left the question hanging in the air.

"He was telling the truth." He said it so simply, like he just didn't turn your world upside-down.

"Oh." Was all you could manage with all the butterflies in your stomach. Before you knew it you were in front of your house. "This is me." You turned to face him.

"Really? Iwa-chan and I live one street over."

"You're joking." He had to be.

"Nope, cross my heart." More seriously "Do you want to walk to school with us maybe?"

"I'd like that, Tooru." Shyly you peeked up at him through your lashes.

"Hey, I noticed before." He traced a thumb over your cheekbone, brushing against your fluttering eyelashes. "Your eyes look different some how?"

You let out a small chuckle, "Eye lash extensions. That's what I was helping my sister with last night. She's in a cosmetology class."

He leaned down, getting very close. "They suit you Y/l/n-chan."

Clearing your throat. "Um, thanks." A beat later, "Call me Y/n."

His eyes softened. "Can I kiss you, Y/n?"

Your breath caught. "Y-yes."

He closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes shutting and heart thumping wildly with anticipation.

You did not expect the feather light touch of his lips ghosting over yours. You did not expect such a tender kiss from the popular setter captain.

At first your lips only brushed against each others. Testing. Until you couldn't stand it any longer. He had lit a fire inside. You leaned in closer, needing more. Pressing your lips against his and moving one hand onto the back of his neck and the other onto his shoulder pulling him closer. He took this queue to hold your waist. As you kissed time stood still. You couldn't tell if the fire inside was tearing you apart or if he was holding you together. There was just you and him, the world had long ago faded away.

He was surprised you took control of the kiss but was glad you did. He didn't want to push you after everything you'd been through. And honestly he could barely think straight. Could barely breathe. Your lips were so soft and they tasted like honey. He didn't want it to end, he would have happily drowned surrounded by air if it meant he could kiss you.

But you pulled away breathless and eyes bright. You leaned into the comfort of his arms.

That was your first kiss.

"I'll be waiting here tomorrow Y/n." He pressed his lips to the crown of your head.

"Alright." You looked up at him. "Message me when you get home 'kay?"

"Will do, my queen." The name sent tingles down your spine. Once again putting his lips to yours. "Good night."

"'Night Tooru." You slipped out of his embrace and before you made your way inside, you gave him one last wave goodbye. Dazed you shut the door behind you with your back and brought your fingers to your smiling lips.

"'Friends' huh? Lot different in my day." Your sister said from the couch, her eyes catching on his jersey.

Still grinning like a fool, "Shut up." You headed upstairs to start on your homework. About ten minutes later you received a text. Smiling you opened it.

Made it home safe and sound. And now I'm going to sleep so I can dream of you 😘

Who knew 'the great king' was such a goofball.

Sweet dreams then, goofball

They will be because you'll be in them ❤

Rude, my queen, rude

Good night Tooru ❤

But that’s why you like me

Rolling your eyes, you grinned.

The next morning he was right where he said he would be. Waiting for you. Iwaizumi with him of course. “Morning Iwaizumi.”

“Good morning Y/l/n.” Iwaizumi greeted.

You said taking your boyfriends hand. “Morning Tooru.” You were feeling confident this morning so you tugged him down a little so you could reach his face, pecking him on the lips.

His eyes widened. He definitely didn't expect that, not that he was complaining. “G-good morning Y/n.” A rosy hue dusting his cheeks.

You giggled at his reaction.

“I guess the right girl turns you into a flustered mess.” Iwaizumi joked.

"I make you a flustered mess huh? I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of that.” You nudged him playfully as you all started to make your way to school.

“No fair. I won’t allow you and Iwa ganging up on me!” He tilted his head towards your ear, whispering for only you to hear. “Besides, my queen, I give as good as I get.”

You choked. And he didn't miss the red on your face. Oh boy. If he kept up with that name you were going to become a puddle. Clearing your throat awkwardly, “Ah look, we’re here!”

Unfortunately you were met with his swarm of ‘fans’. At the head of it all were the bitches that made you feel like shit. Tooru felt you hesitate and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and looked at you with such adoration in his eyes. That was all you needed. You were going to show these girls you weren’t afraid of them. You hoped he wouldn't mind your sudden boldness.

Turning towards him and standing on your tippy toes you grabbed the back of his neck and crashed your lips against his. This kiss was much deeper than the one you shared last night. You'd even go so far to say passionate. Last night was tentative, figuring each other out. This kiss you poured in all your feelings, all of your heart and soul. Pulling away slightly, resting your forehead against his and playing with the hair near where your hand rested on his neck, “Um, sorry if that was too much.”

You turned to face the mostly shocked crowd. The only angry one was the leader girl. Remembering what she said yesterday, “I’m his.” He wasn’t some possession to own. But you were free to give your heart to him, if he wanted it. Really you didn’t expect him to say anything during this exchange but he did.

God, you were perfect he thought. With a stupid smile on his face, “N-no don’t be sorry. Not at all.”

It made your heart catch in your throat.

“And I’m hers.” The girls mouth dropped open. “Come on. Let’s go, my queen.” he said pressing his lips to your knuckles, sending a shiver up your back.

“Tooru!” You squeaked. That damn pet name. You knew no matter how many times he said it, it would still make you weak in the knees and make your heart leap. And he fucking knew it. You walked hand in hand to your spot under the cherry tree. “Don’t call me that when a bunch of people are around...”

“Why not? It’s true. And you like it.” He gave you a cheeky look. “Besides that passionate kiss you gave me was pretty public.”

A blush creeping up your neck, “I-shut up.”

Chuckling he brought you into a hug, “Whatever you wish, my queen.”

Epilogue

As the months passed you and Tooru grew closer together and his ‘fan club’ realized you weren't going anywhere. Sure some still tried to bring you down but over the months you had gained some confidence in yourself. You weren't as insecure but when you fell Tooru was there to help you pick yourself back up. You had also become good friends with the volleyball guys, especially Iwa. You had a special bond over teasing your boyfriend. Even though you both teased him relentlessly he was happy two of his favorite people got along so well. In fact he had asked if you had wanted to officially become a manager. You practically were now anyway he said so why not make it official. Of course you agreed.

It was only your third game as a manager when they lost to Karasuno. You knew how bad he wanted to go to nationals. It was his dream and this was his last chance. He was sitting on the floor outside the gym, head hung low in devastation. You knew words were not what he wanted to hear right now. He just needed you to be there for him. You sat down next to him, waiting. He gently pulled you onto his lap, burying his head in the crook of your shoulder. Holding you closely. He was silent but you felt his warm tears fall on your skin. You held him and hummed a slow melody quietly in his ear. After awhile he kissed your temple.

“Thank you.” He whispered. He was ready talk.

“I’m here for you, always. You’re my king, win or lose. And I am so so proud of you.” A small smile lifted one side of his mouth.

You were going to tell him something important today. No matter what happened. Maybe he needed to hear it especially because of what happened. You took a deep breath and kissed his forehead briefly. One hand on his cheek and looking into his still tear stained eyes.

“I know the world has greater things than nationals waiting for you. You may not feel like it now but believe me when I say it. You are so much more than what you think you are and....and that’s why I love you, Tooru.”

He searched your face looking for pity or disappointment but all he found was love. For weeks those three words had been just under the surface, waiting to be spoken into existence, always on the tip of his tongue at the end of every conversation with you or even when he would see you do small simple things. Hearing the love in your voice and the feeling of you mend his shattered heart about nationals they finally broke free.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

He might have been your first kiss but you were his first love and he wanted you to be his last.

He gently ran his thumb against your bottom lip.

And he kissed you with everything he had, like it would be his last.

But.

There was many more to come...

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#oikawa x reader #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x y/n #the dream gods did me a disservice but i made the best of it #writing this may have made me soft for Tooru #he calls his gfs my queen #fight me #y/n and iwa's bond over teasing your bf #low key proud of some lines in this #my tiny blog writings

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roguish-gallery · 5 years

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Rogues + Internet/Social Media HCs!

Hello!!! this was requested by @geniusbee I struggled a bit with the initial prompt, so I kinda broadened the question, I hope you don’t mind! Once I got the ball rolling with this one, it was super fun to work on! Thank you again for your request!

If anyone wants to, feel free to send me send me more requests! I’d love to do more of these!

Everything is under the Read More bc this got LONG AS FUCK. (Slight TW for sexual references!)

Bane:

Doesn’t use social media. point blank

He’ll surf the web mostly for research or for communication purposes, but that’s mostly it... That being said sometimes he DOES look up stuff for fun because he’s a naturally curious guy who had limited access to education for the first 20-ish years of his life. It sends him down a rabbit hole of researching weird shit and sometimes you’ll catch him up at 4:00 am looking up how bread was made in Ancient Rome or what Cock and Ball Torture is bc he heard Joker say it once and he’s never EVER fucking heard of those words strung together like that before

Also… his fingers are simply too beefy for most keyboards. Dude tryna sit down and send Scandal Savage some fun cookie recipes she could try with her GF like

Catwoman:

Not a lot to say here but tbh she probably has the most normal internet habits of everyone. Helps to promote cat shelter’s web pages, and will use some light hacking to find the locations of fur factories and animal abusers but that’s mostly it?

If she isn’t already an influencer, she has definitely considered it. Will sometimes post selfies of her wearing stolen jewelry just to flex. Has a legion of simps.

Clayface

Unknowingly gets into kin drama without trying to

He has... so many theather blogs, musical blogs, and obscure film blogs... someone help him... somehow he regularly adds shit to ALL OF THEM.

He’s that one bitch who hoards all the canon URLs and there’s nothing you can fucking do to stop him.

Harley Quinn:

Her computer is slow and buggy as shit because she’s got so many viruses from trying to download flash games. Edward refuses to fix her computers at this point because he knows it’s a lost cause.

She vlogs sometimes, actually! And she’ll drag her hyenas or any of the rogues/batfam/GCPD she’s hanging out with atm into it.

She likes to go onto anxiety or depression forums and anonymously leave nice, helpful advice :)

Joker:

Mostly on the dark web, doing… things that you do on the dark web...

If he’s ever on the clean web I promise it’s only to start kin drama or to dm fucked up shit to random people he finds.

Has been known to catfish when the mood strikes him

Also? He jumps onto RP forums and either plays the SHITTIEST Batman, or an eerily accurate Batman.

Killer Croc:

He likes looking up funny videos online!!! Also! Art tutorials!!

He likes to post his artwork online under a pseudonym. He doesn’t expect anyone to really pay attention to his work, but it’s always a very pleasant surprise when someone likes or leaves a nice comment on his art.

He genuinely cherishes all of his followers and the kind interactions he shares with them.

Mad Hatter:

It’s just hat porn and hentai. I’m sorry.

Mr. Freeze:

Normal internet habits tbh. Doesn’t really go on the internet that often because he doesn’t particularly care about keeping up to date with what’s happening.

He used to have a Facebook where he’d post pictures of himself and Nora, but he can’t really do that anymore due to obvious reasons.

Penguin:

Lightly dabbles in dark web shit (for business purposes) but otherwise he’s like an old man on the internet. Checks the stock market and shit. Responds to his emails in a timely manner. He keeps track of everyone’s internet presence but that’s mostly because he enjoys drama and he doesn’t want to be out of the loop in case Eddie starts something again and he needs to know WHY Jervis and Pamela can’t be in the Iceberg at the same time without trying to kill each other.

He REFUSES to make a social media account for the Iceberg Lounge!!!! It is too classy for that!!!

Other than that, though… don’t tell anyone… but he keeps some tabs open on some 🥺🥺🥺 some bird forums and uh 🥺🥺🥺 m🥺🥺🥺 maybe some blogs he has that are all about Jane Austen and Star Trek: The Next Generation 🥺🥺🥺🥺 n-not like he LIKES Star Trek, though!!

Also in Batman #448 it shows that him and Batman canonically play chess with each other online and you know what? That’s cute as hell so I’m gonna say that they still do that.

Poison Ivy:

Surprising no one… she mostly blogs about botany

Will ONLY go onto other parts of the internet to like and share Harley, Selina, or Waylon’s posts and THAT'S IT!!!!

She is not above getting petty in the comment section!! If she finds a video of some clown over-watering their ferns she will absolutely let them know and she will not be polite about it.

Riddler:

Canonically has the best hookup and 100% is the most active online. Like yeah he does a lot of hacking shit but he uses the internet for legit stuff too.

PURPOSEFULLY looks himself up and will argue with anyone who talks smack about him on literally any of the search results. He WILL remember your username and he WILL publicly mock you for it when he freezes your laptop or when he takes over the broadcasting waves in Gotham again.

You KNOW he has a social media account for everything. He WILL talk about how smart and sexy he is and he WILL get around any attempts made to get him blocked, suspended, or banned.

“You fool… I have 70 A L T E R N A T I V E A C C O U N T S”

He is the self-proclaimed tech-guru of the Rogues. He WILL harass you if you are using the wrong web browser or if you have TOO MANY FUCKING TABS OPEN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

He calms down somewhat once he becomes a P.I. He’ll take selfies at crime scenes and livestream himself when he’s finding clues or chasing someone down! He’s absolutely obsessed with it and he gets super popular. He knows that he shouldn’t broadcast himself solving crimes... but... the clicks... the views... his stans...

Enjoys gaming and modding whenever he has free time.

Scarecrow:

He hasn’t been in a classroom in years but if you looked at his internet habits you would think he’s still teaching psychology at Gotham U. Responds to emails responsibly (but NOT on weekends or after 10 pm!!)

Probably wouldn’t blog these days, but when he was younger he had a page where he would discuss his psychology work.

He mostly uses the internet for research or to order chemicals but he’ll often get swept up in some inane message chain with Harley and Eddie and he HATES IT.

He has like two dozen tabs open on his computer because he forgets about them and even though some of the tabs have been there for so long that he GENUINELY can’t remember why they were there, he keeps them because it makes Edward break into hives every time he tries to watch what he’s doing online. Giving Edward Nygma anxiety sweats is easy and free and should be done often.

Two-Face:

He uses incognito mode… whenever he needs to google embarrassing questions…

He likes to peruse the dark web but sometimes he enjoys hopping onto r/legaladvice and r/relationships and reads that shit like it's the Sunday paper.

If he’s bored or is having a bad mental day, he likes to look up all the Google doodle games that Google keeps archived. they’re all really cute and are a lot of fun to goof around with whenever he’s wanting to play something light and quick!

#headcanons #rogue gallery #Edward Nygma #Harley Quinn #Jonathan Crane #Oswald Cobblepot #Bane #Selina Kyle #Basil Karlo #Harvey Dent #Waylon Jones #Pamela Isley #Victor Fries #Jervis Tetch #the joker #dc comics #dc headcanon

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honey-makki · 4 years

Note

CONGRATULATIONS ON 666 MY ANGEL 💘 or in this case my devil 😈 we already know I am so in love with Suga and Noya that it hurts- so please can I have A, D, & K for my menssssss 👀❤️ i luv u

Sugawara Koushi

🍭 sweet 🍭

a- adventure

He’s always wanted to get a tattoo or a piercing but never really experimented with his appearance. Now that he works at an elementary school he’s even warier of altering his appearance. He does have his smiley pierced though!! its a piercing he can hide with small jewelry when he needs to (work) but can easily change out for something more apparent when he goes out or is feeling fun and flirty.

d- date

He just wants to see you happy. He is so versatile and able to do anything. If you want a nice dinner, he's showing up with reservations wearing his Sunday best/ Relaxing night at home? Netflix is already pulled up and he looked up recipes to try for homecooked meals. But his absolute favorite is watching the sunrise/set with you. There's something about the soft glow around you and knowing that he is starting and ending his day with you that brings him a great sense of warmth and comfort.

k- kiss

Soft and intuitive. he is always accurately aware of his surroundings but still pours all of his love into everyone. If it is appropriate for him to kiss your lips, he lifts your face up to his with a firm grip on your jaw to meet his impossibly soft lips.If he can’t kiss your lips he places a feather-light but lingering kiss on either your temple or wrist. each one Is followed by an ‘i love you’ murmured into your skin.

🌶 spicy 🌶

a- aftercare

King of cleanliness!! Always runs you a bath with your favorite bath bomb and candlelit. He carries you into the bathroom and washes you himself. massaging your scalp as he conditions your hair, and toweling you off afterward. He massages lotion into your sore muscles afterward and helps you with your skincare routine. All the while he whispers woods of affection and sweet nothings to you.

d- dirty secret

He wants to fuck you at school. Specifically in a school girl uniform. He’s wanted this since you got together in high school but now that he works at a school the need has intensified. The image of your skirt hitched up over your ass, thigh highs and falling apart over his desk. The idea makes him feral.

k- kink

exhibitionism, praise kink and TEASING. He wants to fuck you in public, at least to take you cum all over his fingers (only if you are comfortable with it). He loves to leave lingering touches and sultry tones in public to make you needy. he tells your hat you are soo good at taking him or how pretty you look crying on his cock. Call him senpai and he will go feral. I will not elaborate on this.

Nishinoya Yuu

🍭 Sweet 🍭

a- adventure

There isn’t much he hasn’t done. He’s never gone skydiving bc he’s secretly afraid of heights. you help urge him to take chances and do things like tall roller coasters or even bungee jumping but skydiving is something that he's always managed to weasel his way out of. But it’s ok because you got vouchers fro his birthday.

d- date

He is a feral child and I love him. He likes to do something fun, so theme parks or hiking. Boardwalks are his favorite, silly matching t-shirts, street food, fun rides. He drags you around, making you feel more like a baby sitter than an s/o at some points but its ok because he's cute when he's excited. The best part is at the end of the day he can relax with you on the beach. Holding you in his arms listening to the crash of the waves a you have random philosophical talks.

k- kiss

He! Loves! Kisses! He is always kissing you! Peppering you with small kisses when he walks by you, and giving you deep sensual ones whenever you sit down next to him. I feel it in my bones that he likes everything messy, so if he can he’s gonna make that kiss wet and sloppy and he will love it.

🌶 spicy 🌶

a- after care

Ok... He’s not the best but he TRYS!!! he will cuddle you to your hearts content, massages your muscles and will get a wet cloth to clean you up. That’s really the extent of it. If you tell him you want other things, he will do them and remember for the future but he doesn’t know better currently. He also is ver sleepy after sex so anything extravagant is no go unless you bring it up and emphasize the importance.

d- dirty secret

He steals your panties. No shame. He doesn’t even hide it. Especially when either of you go out of town. He takes his favorite pair and looks at them when he jerks of thinking of you. If he misses you a lot, he will use them and cum all over them. His favorite is a modest black and yellow striped pair. He jjsut thinks you look so cute and precious in them. You have for sure seen him using your panties and he thought it was even hotter that you knew.

k- kink

TITTY FUCK! MARKING!! THIGHS!! Body Worship!! He just loves you so much!! He loves every bit of you! Personality and body and he wont let you forget it! Let him fuck your chest and he will l i t e r a l ly go feral. In general, he can’t keep his hands and mouth off of your chest. He just wants you to ride him so your pretty titties will bounce for him. He can’t help but want to leave bite marks and hickies all over your body. He wants people to know you are his, and also just you to have a reminder for later. He loves leaving them on your inner thigh and hips. SPEAKING of thighs. he loves them. he's a grabby mf and wants to hold on to all of you. his sex drive is high so if he needs help and you aren’t up for it, he is more thanpleased at your offer to fuck your thighs. He just loves all of you so much and wants to cherish every inch.

#🍭666🌶#suga #noya #kristen likes spice #kristen thirsts #kristen answers #sugawara koushi #nishinoya yuu

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ironmansuuucks · 4 years

Text

Dewey Dewey Dewey

haii and welcome to my soft dewey finn fic. this is mostly just a wee fluffy drabble that i wrote for myself and wanted to share hehe. this is my first time writing dewey fic so please, feedback is always welcome!! warning though, lil bit of smut at the end! enjoy, lotsa love x

p.s this is my fave gif e v e r and always how i imagine dew looking

Dewey Finn x Reader (smut)

Trudging up those stairs to your apartment felt as though it was never going to end. Every step felt heavy and painful. The fact that you got called into work on a Saturday due to the big case you had been assigned to made you want to vomit. Work? Saturday? Those were two words that should not be put together when you work a Monday to Friday, full time job. Yeah you were grateful for the student graduate traineeship with the most prestigious law firm in the state, not to mention getting put on the most notorious case of the year with the best attorney in the country, but working Saturday’s? That sucked.

As you struggled with the key in the door and pushed it open with your shoulder, all you could think about was your boyfriend, Dewey. Just snuggling up in to his warm embrace, both holding creamy coffees with a movie on in the background, neither of you really paying attention to it but rather just one another. Then being able to crawl under the cold duvet together, warming one another up. Your stress levels almost vanished just at the thought, until you were pulled back to reality when you shouted “Dew?” with no reply, closing the door and looking down to see only one pair of tattered converse sitting next to the door; your own. Moving over to sit your bags on the kitchen counter you tried again “de-“ when you remembered the text message you had opened in that meeting, when you weren’t supposed to, that you had forgotten about: “hey baby, I hope your day isn’t too stressful. Its just to let u know that I’m going to head out to that gig with the guys tonight, shouldn’t be too late, hope your day is quick, love ya x”.

Your whole body felt heavy and achy when you remembered the text. You sighed deeply, whining, and pulled out your phone replying to him: “hey hon, okay have fun – looking forward to seeing you, love you more x”.

The clock read 7:30. The gig would probably last a few hours so half ten/11 was when you could expect him home. Tears welled in your eyes. That was almost four hours you had to mope around until he came home. You rubbed your wet eyes with your cold hands and let out another sigh thinking of ways to pass the time. First, a quick microwave meal for dinner, then a scalding hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and finally some fresh pyjamas, that would consist of one of Dewey’s band t-shirt’s from the laundry he had done earlier.

“Alexa… play planet rock”

* * * * * *

The clock now read 10:45. You lathered on moisturiser up your legs to your waist for not wanting your skin to get dry after the bath, with having water that would blow up hell’s thermostat, and so you would feel soft when Dewey finally laid his hands on you. He loved the feeling of your skin after you bathed and moisturised, so soft and smooth, running his hands all over you. You slipped on Dewey’s Led Zeppelin t-shirt that just covered your ass, and a pair of black lingerie panties, it was Saturday night after all. You had boiled the kettle and sorted both your cups for a creamy coffee when he got back and you stood in the kitchen waiting for him to arrive so you could pour them.

You clicked on your phone. Just after 11. Maybe it’s run over time. You huffed and went and sat on the couch, pressing on the tv. Waiting here for him would be alright. You could still see the door from where you were sitting. You glanced over at the TV which was playing one of yours and Dewey’s favourite movies; Tropic Thunder. You just couldn’t wait for him to get home and cuddle him, a long loving kiss planted on your lips. You could almost feel his hands running up your waist, soothing you with every movement, stress leaving your body. Oh hurry up Dew.

Distracted by Tropic Thunder playing on the tv, you had no idea how long you had sat on the couch, your eyes painfully tired. Yawning, you got up to get your phone to check the time. It must only be around 11:30 you thought. Rubbing your eyes and walking over to the counter you picked up your phone. The clock read 00:11. Were you really sat watching the movie for that long? Where the hell was Dewey? You had no text messages from him, no missed calls, what the hell. No gig you had ever been to ran over 10:30, 11 at the latest. Wondering if maybe he had put up stories you went to snapchat. Dewey had a story up but last added to it at 10:15 which was of the concert. The next story you clicked on was his friend Louie’s, and this is where you got your answer. A few videos of the concert, then of Dewey making fun of himself in the middle of the street, attempting to jump over a bollard but failing and falling at 11:16, then of Dewey doing three shots in a row with another one of his pals at 00:02 in a bar, and then finally one of Dewey singing his heart out to Come on Eileen at 00:10. Upon closing down Louie’s story you got a snapchat from Dewey; a video of him singing Come on Eileen to you through his phone with Ned appearing a few times at the side singing with him. The bar was heaving and very dark with strobe lights illuminating Dewey’s tipsy looking face. You couldn’t stop the tears that ran down your face even though you were smiling at Dewey’s video. You just wanted him home. You were glad he was out having a good night with his friends, but you selfishly wanted him to come home and spend the night with you.

You huffed and wiped your eyes, locking your phone and not replying to his video. You were annoyed now. You knew you had no right because he was just out having a good night, but he could have text you and let you know what he was doing, but you knew you were just feeling sorry for yourself really. The apartment was cold and you got a shiver as you headed into your bedroom when you got another snapchat from him. You huffed again knowing he was having a great night and you were sat here waiting for him to come home. This time it was a video of himself singing your favourite song Don’t Stop Believing then at the end he pulled the phone closer to him and shouted “I love you” over the painfully loud music. He stared at the screen for a second, doe-eyed and glazed over with a little smirk on his face. You knew he was thinking about you. Then he looked up and was about to start talking to someone when the video cut off.

This again put you in a bad mood and tears kept coming down your face. You were just tired, and you weren’t really annoyed at him; you just missed him.

Pulling the cold covers over your worn out body, you just decided to go to sleep. It might take hours for him to come home, and sometimes they would have afters at one of his friends houses, and if that was the case you probably wouldn’t see him until mid-day Sunday. Now that thought put you in an even worse mood so you did not dwell on that one. Closing your red, sore eyes and burying yourself in the covers left you sleeping within a few seconds. The long day left you exhausted and it was late after all. You would see him soon.

* * * * * *

Stumbling through the door at 3:45 am, Dewey kicked off his tattered converse at the door next to yours. Trying to be quiet as he knew you had had a stressful day, he gently closed the door then went to get a glass of water. Everything felt loud and clumsy in his tipsy haze. He necked the water down in one before seeing the two coffee cups on the counter waiting for some attention. Dewey felt soft at the sight and couldn’t wait to have a lazy Sunday morning with his girlfriend, drinking unlimited amounts of the sweet, sugary, caffeinated beverage.

He swayed his way into the bedroom, some 80’s rock song leaving his lips in whispers, while his ears still had a faint ring in them from the events of the night. He saw your sleeping posture on the bed and the singing came to a halt as he made an “oh shit” face for being too loud, even though you were still sleeping, as he made his way to the EnSite bathroom.

Changing into a pair of star wars pyjama bottoms and a different ACDC t-shirt he popped his toothbrush in his mouth but knocked over the brush that was on the bathroom counter. “Fuck” he mouthed as he picked it up then bent backwards to look out the bathroom to make sure you were still asleep, which you were. He sighed with relief, brushed his teeth then went to lie next to you in bed.

Dewey could already smell your moisturiser when he pulled the cover over him and began to scoot over to you. You were facing the other direction to him, but when he moved closer to you and then put his hands up your t-shirt smoothing over your waist you stirred slightly and turned round to face him, still asleep. He could only just make out your features from the street light seeping into the room and you looked so beautiful. Again he glided his hand up and down your waist, basking in how soft and warm your skin was. His hands then smoothed down to the band of your lingerie and he suddenly felt warm. Moving his hand down further to lightly grab your ass, he didn’t want to wake you up but you just felt so good and the smell of your shampoo was really getting to him, drowning him. You moaned slightly in your sleep when you felt him on your ass, which only bothered him even more. He squirmed slightly, beginning to feel uncomfortable in the stillness of the atmosphere.

“Hey.. hey y/n” he whispered, one hand holding you just above your ass at the small of your back and the other stroking your hair. You stirred again and moved even closer to him intertwining your leg with his. “y/n” he slightly sang then very lightly kissed you on your soft, creamy lips. Your eyes slowly began to open and the first thing you noticed was the strong smell of drink. Then you realised; Dewey.

You allowed him to kiss you, still in a bit of a bad mood “what time do you call this Finn?” you said very sleepily closing your eyes again, your face showing no emotion or movement. Dewey slowly moved his leg between yours parting them and pushing up lightly, causing a lot of friction. Suddenly you felt a heat rise in you, and held in a little moan that almost escaped your lips at the movement. Dewey moved to kiss down your jaw and neck, pushing his leg a little bit more along you, hands gliding up to your waist “what do you mean?”. You moved your neck up slightly, allowing him access, and ever so lightly dragged your nails up his back heading towards his hair, “you’ve been gone for hours, I was expecting you around half ten after the gig?”. Your fingers were now at the nape of his neck and beginning to intertwine with his hair. Dewey sucked on your lower neck, for sure leaving a sweet little mark “I knew you would have had a stressful day-“ he began moving back up towards your jaw as his hand crept further up your ribs, nearing your chest when you ever so slightly moaned. He continued “so I decided to go out with the guys after and let you have a chilled night in yourself to destress, not have me kicking about annoying you”. Any of that selfish little anger you held towards him dropped after he spoke those words. He wanted you to be alone for the night because he thought it would help you. Your body rolled towards him then, arching your back so you were almost up against him. “and then I come home, and find you here, looking as though I could drink you up, with those-“ he moved his hand to snap the band of your lingerie panties against your skin “on, which you know drive me wild” he said with a long sigh afterwards. Dewey lifted his head, eyes looking at you lustfully. You slowly batted your eyes a few times, looked down at his lips then back up at him. How did you get so lucky?

“Yeah? Well unfortunately your little plan didn’t work. I’m still pretty stressed out” you teased, moving to kiss him. “Yeah?” he said smirking into the kiss. “Yeah” you replied breathily as his one of his hands moved down to your hips and the other fondled your nipple under the Led Zeppelin t-shirt. “well I cant have that now can I?” Dewey’s hand moved further down your leg and lightly pushed them apart “I cant have my best girl being left all stressed out” his finger teased you. Lightly gliding over your wet panties as you moaned into his neck. Dewey slid down lightly and lifted you’re t-shirt up, swirling his tongue around your nipple “let’s see if we can relieve some of that stress, huh baby”. You breathed in heavily as you felt him move your panties to the side and slip a finger into you as you laced your fingers in his hair with a light moan. After a few moments Dewey added another finger, slowly pushing in and out of you “ugh, deeper Dew” you moaned out. As if on command Dewey pushed further up into you, hitting that spot that sent you wild. The combination of Dewey’s rough, calloused fingers pumping in and out of you and his smooth, skilful tongue meant you weren’t going to last very long. You were stressed, and needed release so you were going to take it whether it took 2 minutes or two hours without a care, and within a few minutes you were a moaning mess, breathlessly moaning his name. “that’s it baby, you’re doing so good” he would push you on. Rolling your hips ever so slightly made Dewey hit a spot he never had which pushed you over the edge “ah fuck Dew-“. He could feel you beginning to clench around him so he pushed further, keeping a hold of that spot “that’s it baby, cum for me”, and boy did you.

After your release you felt as though the moment you closed your eyes you would fall asleep. He was right, you were stressed and that’s exactly what you had needed to finally relax. Dewey came back up to you and you kissed him “thank you so much”, you said through lidded eyes. “I love you” he said as he kissed you back, pulling your t-shirt back down for you, and smoothing it over with his hand. “I love you too” you said sleepily. You reached down to begin to palm him through the fabric of his bottoms to which Dewey moaned into. After a few rubs you moved your hand to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms but he stopped you, and pulled away from the kiss. “No baby, you’re too tired – I just wanted to make sure you were okay”, you slightly argued back trying to move your hand down again “no come on, I want to”. Your eyes were closed as you went to kiss him again sleepily but he stopped you and intertwined his fingers with yours to stop you, “no, come on y/n. You’re too tired and I want you to get a decent night sleep so you’re not as stressed tomorrow”. You were going to protest but he was right. You sighed, and then he kissed you. One of those slow, meaningful, love filled kisses and you fell asleep once he parted from you.

Dewey held you close to him, hoping he had managed to make you feel better. He hated to see you all stressed out like this but he was so so so proud of you. He was your biggest fan and he wanted to be the one you came home to when you needed someone to talk to, and to hold you, make you feel safe.

He kissed your forehead lightly then drifted off to sleep with his girl safe in his arms, stress free.

#dewey finn #dewey finn x reader #dewey #dew #alex brightman #fluff #coffee #cute #beetlejuice

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delicrieux · 5 years

Note

Can we get some uhhhh Mutual Pining and Cuddling for Warmth with one of the marauders?

to this request i silently whispered “yes....”

Remus Lupin knew you would never engage him in conversation, or offer to have breakfast together, or help with homework, or any of the sort. To him you were a mirage, pretty, but far away. And perhaps he had, on moments of dullness or dissociation, dreamed what you were like: to talk to, to joke to, to... Well, admitting it would tarnish him. He is terribly shy, but more than that, terribly lacks self-confidence due to the beast locked inside his body until the next full moon. He’s absolutely riddled with fear at the mere prospect of hurting anyone, of even the chance that it might happen. And so he keeps people away, pushes them out, and even when involved in conversation with James or Sirius or Peter he is always, in his own way, reserved and distant. He knows they love him for who he is. The problem is that he despises himself with such unfiltered disgust that it is hard to remind himself that it is only his tormented thoughts that paint him as a monster; that no one besides himself sees him in that light.

Alas, he could never allow himself to indulge with you, the risk of rejection and self-sabotage is too great. Therefore you live inside his daydreams, safe from harm, from him, oblivious to his feelings or how sometimes he sneaks glances at you in class.

But if he only knew what sort of things rummage inside that head of yours, what sort of butterflies erupt in your chest when he walks into your line of vision. He is always so swift, yet strangely refined, tense, in control, though his face never once warped into a frown in your presence - it had always stayed deliberately neutral or soft. And your friends, quick to notice as they were notoriously perceptive, teased you about this crush often. It was a ridiculous one, that you knew. You didn’t even know him personally! Had never even uttered “Hello!”. But you almost knew what he was like, just from observing him. Almost knew how the conversation would go, if you ever approached him, or vice versa. Imagined scenarios in double digits on how you’d meet him, prepared for each one just in case.

Nothing happened, of course. He lived inside your daydream with you.

No amount of myths, legends, daydreams, or imagination could have prepared the both of you for the actual way you’d meet. Fate is funny like that - nothing ever happens the way one plans it.

It’s the 7th of December and a storm is brewing, wind howling in your ears. Hogsmeade was frozen over since last Sunday, though the townies swore the weather had been lovely: setting sun, cloudless sky, crisp air, dancing ice sculptures, piles of puffy snow that decorated the small houses like icing. And it had been a wonderful afternoon, one full of gossip, butterbeer, Christmas shopping. That was, of course, till the first gust of wind nearly knocked you off of your feet. All changed from there: the sky darkened with clouds, snowflakes raged, it was suddenly freezing and ice started to collect on the windows, on the loose strands coming out your hat. Everything was white and hazy and you couldn’t hear a thing; separated from your friends and from the rest of the world you quickly searched for shelter. Fear picked at your throat and your nerves were the only thing keeping you alert and from hypothermia. After what felt like eternity you spotted a building, a house, a something and ran to it, nearly tripping over your own two feet before yanking the door open and the wind shut it behind you.

You breathe slow, steady, standing eerily still by the entrance. You only now realise where you are; you recognise the old stairwell, the dust, the rotting wood, the creaks that sound like wails from ghosts, all collected from stories your friends had shared about the most haunted place in Hogsmeade. The Shrieking Shack. It is absolutely silent, however, besides the moans and howls of the wind blowing past barged up windows. Snow is already covering the floor with a thin layer. You release a breath you had been holding and it comes out your lips in white smoke. Your clothes are damp and you start to shiver. Groping for you wand you—

A loud thud echoes from upstairs, then something that closely resembles a hiss. You freeze. Then spring into action, only to realise that your only means of getting dry, of casting spells, of protecting yourself is not with you. It must’ve fallen out, you realise in horror, it must’ve happened when I ran. Your teeth begin to clatter, fingers stinging, numb. It might be a bird, or a cat, or a raccoon, or anything but a ghost, you reassure yourself. And really, if it is a ghost you’ll join it soon if you loiter by the door instead of looking for something warm. Snow crunches under your feet as you move to the stairs, making your way up. The second floor is brighter than the first, yet it rocks from side to side gently, as if on a boat, and for a moment you feel light headed. Rooms with no doors greet you from all sides. No sign of ghosts, though. You pick at random and—

You physically jump when you see him, a strangled noise of surprise escaping your lips, eyes wide in terror. Remus Lupin, of all people, sits on a ragged bed, pale and sickly, scars and bruises covering his face, his clothes ripped and tattered. Around him is a mess: wild claw marks on the floor, broken furniture, shredded paintings and wallpaper... He glances up, startled, brinks a few times, rubs his eyes as if not believing them.

“A-Are you okay?” You ask, rasp, almost voiceless. He gives a nod. You frown, “You s-sure?”

He clears his throat, “Got caught in the storm.” He says hoarsely, looking away from you, “Ungracefully landed here, and, well... ripped my clothes on some nails.” He finishes, rubbing the back of his neck.

“A-And your f-fac-e.” You add with a shaky smile. He releases a humourless laugh.

“Yea, that too.”

He finally turns to you and a bit of warmth rushes back into your body, though not enough to feel your fingers, or your toes. He gives you a shy smile and glances you over, the smile diminishing into worry as he stands up and yanks the sheets off of the bed, sending a flurry of dust your way, “You must be freezing.” He says, offering it to you.

“Aren’t y-you?” You question. He shrugs.

“I...am...sort of. Not nearly as bad as you, though.” He insists, and you relent, if a little. “Where’s your wand?” He asks once you wrap the fabric around yourself - it does little but reek of mold. With your head you vaguely motion to the windows.

“Lost. Yours-s?”

“Uhh-yea, mine too.” He utters, another hiss that sounds a lot like a swear falling from his lips. You relax, almost laugh - it was him you heard, of course it was.

“S-so no fire, then.” You attempt to lighten the mood, but all he does is nod solemnly and you realise it was for naught.

“You’ll catch a cold.” He states the obvious, but in a way that sounds gentle, concerned, though as if he knows it is inevitable. “Damn, if only I...” He gives you another once over, “Uhm, well, I, uhm-I’m Remus, by the way. Remus Lupin.”

It takes you a second to register his name, suddenly feeling giddy - you, of course, already knew it. It also dawns onto you that you might already have a fever. With a crooked smile you introduce yourself and he nods, pleased. Then, he starts again, “Well, I have this— I don’t... please don’t take it the wrong way or anything like that, I just don’t want you to fall sick or-or worse, so, I, well-“ He does a motion with his hands, as if they would somehow convey his point, “you should- not that you need just, uhm- should, should take off your jacket, and hat, and scarf, everything that’s soaked.” He turns his gaze away, suddenly more interested in the marks on the floor, “They’ll keep you from getting warm.” He adds, quieter.

You feel slow. As if he’s moving, talking, changing courses and topics too quick for you to follow. Chills wash your body in cold sweat like waves, and you nod after a moment of consideration.

“Y-you’re nifty.” You say, shrugging off the sheets and they ungracefully fall to the floor. He quickly picks them up and smiles, happy that you’d taken his advice, “You’ll... hav-e t’help me, t-though.” You stutter; your limbs feel numb and heavy.

“Oh!” Heat rushes to his cheeks and he throws the sheets onto the bed and approaches you, “Of course, I, just...” He trails off, not exactly certain on what he wanted to say. You slowly pluck your hat from your head and drop it on the floor, then move to the scarf and unwrap it. The cold air bites your neck and you suck in a breath. “Here.” He mutters, helping you take it off, his hand brushing yours. Your eyes widen. His touch feels like fire.

“Y-You’re r-really warm, y-you know t-that?” You question, watching him work on your coat. He gulps.

“Uh-Yea, runs in the family.”

“A-Are you related t’dra-g-gons or something?” You ask.

He looks at you, locks your gaze, and your heart skips a beat. His lips melt into a smile.

“Something like that.” He admits and takes off your coat, folding it neatly. Left without an outer layer, the cold attacks your body fiercely, and you stagger to the bed, as quickly as you can, and curl into a little ball, wrapped up in blankets.

When Remus is done collecting your things, he places them neatly on a table that has the least damage done to it - only a chewed up leg. He joins you, sits down next to you, and immediately his presence radiates heat like a furnace.

“I-I wish I h-had your genes.” You say, trembling. Something painful crosses his features, but what you can’t place. He doesn’t say anything, just lifts his arm up as if to touch you, but then hesitates. Your gazes meet again and he awaits for permission, and you, with a small, broken voice, only manage to murmur “Please”.

He pushes you close to his body under the blankets and sheets and you shiver in delight. You press closer to him, if possible, as if trying to absorb all the warmth you can. It feels better, instantly, and calmer, and you can smell the remnants of his earthy cologne and blood and sweat.

“You’re like a popsicle.” He mutters into your hair.

“S-Sorry if you catch hypothermia because of me.” You say sleepily.

“I’ll be fine, you need to worry about yourself now.” He urges gently, “And... try not to fall asleep, no matter how much you want to, okay?”

“Okay. When do you think the storm will end?”

“Soon, hopefully. You need to see Madam Pomfrey.”

“She’ll probably scold me.”

He breathes out a laugh, “I have yet to meet a student she hasn’t scolded.”

“Even you?”

He pauses. Then, “Especially me.”

If you were in the right state of mind you would have asked why, but it matters little at the moment. All you can focus on is how close he is and how safe he is and how warm he is. The prospect of leaving to see Madam Pomfrey did not seem appealing at all.

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed & feedback is always welcomed 🖤

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1149

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.

#survey #surveys

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blazerina · 5 years

Text

*M A S T E R L I S T*

Hi dear ones - this is updated as of 4.24.20 - let me know if I’ve missed anything. Stories are alphabetical by book. Hope you enjoy!

A Courtesan of Rome

Cassius & Lydia

No Question

Blades of Light & Shadow

Mal & Raine

Rain

Hundreds of Tomorrows

Desire & Decorum

Ernest & Edith

All Alone

I Wanted To

Endless Summer

Sean & Taylor

A Lot to Live For

A Lot to Live For - Part 2

Every Little Thing - Sean x MC

Going to Find You

Greatest Weakness

Here Comes the Sun

Honestly

Not This Time

With Any Luck - Sean x Taylor

A Special Day - Sean x Taylor

Time

Missing (includes all ES main characters)

Mother of the Year

Thomas & Samantha

After All

Open Heart

Ethan & Allie

Linger

A Day in the Life

Better

Show You

The Other Side

Not Delivered

Road Trip Ready

Messed Up

Impossible

Do No Harm

Night Shift

Surprise

Allie & Bryce

Six Sentence Sunday Drabble

Harper/Allie/Ethan

Connected

Perfect Match

Damien & Kendall

Completely Undone

Thanks to You

Probably Never Will

A Chance

Breathtaking - Part I

Breathtaking - Part 2

Only for One Night

Not the Last

Deceived

Maybe, Finally

Tell Me

Red Carpet Diaries

Matt & Veronica

Mine - Matt x Veronica

Special - Matt x Veronica

Real - Matt x Veronica

Right - Matt x Veronica

Wrong - Matt x Veronica

You - Matt x Veronica

Goodbye - Matt x Veronica

There - Matt x Veronica

Save the Date

Justin & Jessica

Running Away

The Freshman

James & Bridget

En Francais

Follow My Lead

Good Morning

Take Us Home - James x Bridget

Love Despite - Part 1 - James x MC

Love Despite - Part 2

Love Despite - James x Bridget - Part 3

Side by Side - James x Bridget

Stay Warm

With You - James x Bridget

Worth the Wait - James x Bridget

Do Nothing Together - James x Bridget (Part 2 – Worth the Wait)

You Don't Have to Stay

James & Bridget & Chris

A Regular Tuesday - James x Bridget x Chris

A Regular Tuesday - Part 2

The Royal Romance

Liam & Charlotte

All Wounds - Liam x Charlotte

Don't Ever Stop

Pain into Power

Drake & Charlotte (Charlie)

All at Once - Drake x Charlie

You Do Too

What Have We Done? (Crack!Fic) Drake x MC

Drake & Charlotte & Liam

All Too Soon - A Christmas Fic - Part 1

All Too Soon - Part 2

All Too Soon - Part 3

All Too Soon - Part 4 - The End

Madeleine

I Won't - Madeleine

Riley/TRR MC

Make Good Choices - TRR MC

The Crown & the Flame

Kenna

Tomorrow - Kenna

Veil of Secrets

Flynn & Annie

Together

What am I doing here?

#blazerina babbles #masterlist #finally updated #thank you quarantine #love you all #thanks for reading #means so much

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

Text

Wednesday 10 July 1833

10 ½

1 50

not noted but I think a grubble or a kiss last night or this morning – fine morning F65° at 10 ¾ am breakfast at 11 55 - Mr Poynet from 12 ½ to 3 at M-‘s portrait and from 3 to 5 at mine (done in crayons price 2 guineas each) - Charlotte Stuart and Miss Hyriot (the governess) called (walked from St James square) about one and staid perhaps about ½ hour - C.S. waiting to speak to Mr Poynet went into the bedroom for a moment or 2, and saw M- but of course I did not introduce them - Mr Lawton and Mr Sweatenham called at 3, and sat sometime with M- shouting and bawling I was ashamed of them and thought myself lucky to be engaged and out of the way. Lady Mexborough and Lady S. Savile and Miss York (Agneta Sir Joseph Y-‘s daughter) called about 4 ½ - I was at the moment changing my dress and putting on an evening gown for Mr Poyet - they waited a few seconds - and then Poyet being in a hurry I somehow begged them to walking to the bedroom and they staid a moment or two and then went away Lady M- saying she would send me her son’s letters from Russia I had at the moment congratulated myself on having never before felt so at ease with these people and thought I received them very well till all this comfort vanished and the bugbear gaucherie haunted me again at the thought that I ought not to have shewn them into my bedroom as if intimate with them but ought to have made Poyet wait or let him come again I said not a word to π- who thinks my fine people all couleur de rose to me how little she dreams the truth! If she did would she exult and be pleased? I fancy if I had more money I could do better but Heaven orders all things rightly - Lady S- and Miss Mayow called at the door about 5 ½ and took me to Thomas’s and fixed for me on the coffee pot and tea pot - choosing also the lamp which makes this second-hand concern come to about forty pounds I could have done better at Rundle [Rundell] [and] Bridges vexed at heart but said nothing even to π- may I manage better another time mind how I make promises of coffee pots they have managed well to get tea pot into the bargain V- told me at Hastings she had no remorse for me I had money enough but she will not get much more I had before told π- if they had asked me to stand and called this child Vere Sibbella it might perhaps have got a thousand pounds by it never said I had offered and no notice had been taken I do not mean to offer again and have now no idea of anything more to do in the matter if I can at all help it (it was on Sunday Lady G- asked Mr Cameron what the child was to be called said not fixed Lady S- and his mother to be godmothers so perhaps Louisa and Ann after them). Just before dinner Lady S de R- sent little note and some fish very fine trout and 4 ditto ditto eels hoping they would be in time for my dinner - Immediately wrote and sent note to Mrs Hall Stevenson and one trout and one eel and had the one trout for dinner meaning the eels for Lady S- tomorrow - very civil of Lady S- de R- she will do this kind of thing but not give me

SH:7/ML/E/16/0080

letters to anyone she said I ought to get somebody to speak to Pozzo di Borgo [the Russian Ambassador in Paris vid. Friday 26 November 1830] for me and when I said I did not know anybody who knew him she turned it off and said oh it did not signify I should not stay long enough to want society anywhere thought I this is enough I am not so dull as not to understand dinner at home at 7 - tea at 10 - had continued to have this quiet evening together before our parting - Mr L- talked of going on Friday or Saturday that I did expecting seeing M- again after tomorrow - wrote note of thanks to Lady S- de R- to go early in the morning - set down accounts in the rough book - π- low cheered her as well as I could without compromising myself - came to our room at 12 ¾ - very fine day – F67° now at one tonight –

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wrotetheaboveoftoday · 4 years

Text

1828 Sun. 7 September (3/3)

Third letter of the day, this one to Mariana

Anxious about M- [Mariana]’s health - wish to hear oftener than usual - hope to be off on or about the 20th but of this she shall hear further by and by when I see how we go on - begin tomorrow to take down the hall wall - ‘have written to Miss McL- [MacLean] to take a little more time then till the 6th or 7th of October for meeting her in London’ Isabella can say nothing - ‘we have got another room upstairs in Paris .... and, as it were, another servant too’ - Mrs. D- Duffin says, the N-s [Norcliffes] expected this week or next - ‘How shall I be off going to L- [Lawton] for 2 or 3 days?’ Mention having got a Doublefente Cafetiére, and roaster for her supposing Mr. C.L- [Charles Lawton] to like coffee -

Determined to take Martha, if my aunt does not object - can I take her with me to Lawton, or must she be left here till I return; for return I must for 2 or 3 days - M- must dress her up for me - heartily glad they have given up the festival - Mr. John L-’s [Lawton]’s conduct

“passing strange - he must little know the parties he has to deal with, if he can fancy, for a moment, such conduct likely to do him any good - But do you seem to take as little notice of it, as you can - leave the gentlemen to settle it - your shewing any impatience, can profit nothing - Mr. Williams will, of course, advise Mr. C. L- [Charles Lawton] what to do - I will not enter more largely on the subject now, as I shall see you so soon”

Mention having heard from Miss Pickford and that she is bound for north and south Italy and Germany felt a little pain in my back so lay down at two and three quarters for an hour dozed but not slept I had this pain last sunday monday and tuesday a little and it then went off - Lay down for an hour at 2 3/4 - then from 3 3/4 to 5 1/4 wrote all but the first 6 lines of today - at 5 1/2 was just closing my letters when Cordingley brought in a small round deal box from Lawton containing 2 partridges and 27 peaches, and 4 pp. pages and one end

Pi [Mariana] in very low spirits Lou cannot spend the winter with her now if this is the case I believe I must go for two months of it tat least to Scarbro for indeed I cannot spend it here alone ...... My spirits are so completely shattered that I am not fit to be left much to myself I do all I can to struggle against lowness but spite of myself it daily increases and I am sure my mind if not my life will be sacrificed if I have such another winter as the last - M- wishes we would take the Pattisons’ house or the Salmons:

“Either I think would suit you, the air is good and healthy, your aunt would have as much society as she liked, you might have - for 2 or 3 days at anytime and you might be from home as much as you pleased, for your aunt might then either be here or I with her, or at all rates I should see her most days, and you would not be far from Shibden - it has been my daydream and nightdream for some time past”

Poor Pi [Mariana] said I to myself I am not what I used to be You might have your own for two or three days etc. Would not repay me for my liberty and being near Shibden is what I would avoid but afterwards mused a little upon delta [Charles] letting us have the place rent free but ah thought I we are better where we are it would be humdrum and stupid and I could not leave England Pi [Mariana] could not now make up to me for all this besides the expense of the thing - sat down immediately and erased the 2 first pp. pages of my paper - (she had been discomposed by C-’s [Charles]’ great wish and determination to go to the festival tho’ she had written to give it up) - said their going to the festival would not make her lose any of my society - might perhaps be better not to go at all till I had got all done - if I had gone on the 20th must have returned here - must go too, probably for 2 or 3 days to Langton - bade her cheer up - I would think of all she wished, but she must help me to think whether the spring plan could be put in execution or not - on this, too, must much depend my own plans

At all rates, not to go to Scarbro’ for 2 months - this would eat up all proper leave of absence - She must write soon, and tell me her opinions candidly about the Spring plan (her going to Italy with me) - whatever they might be, I would continue - my wits had never yet forsaken me in time of need, why should they now? I would almost move heaven and earth to gain her as far as possible all that would suit her best - go to the festival with a good grace, and a light heart - I should now be better satisfied to have her there - If Lou could not spend the winter with her, not to mind - I would try to manage, and make up to her for it - only to cheer up - this all I asked at present - would send the pattern chemise tomorrow or Tuesday - should like to have one dozen chemises exactly like the pattern

Poor Pi [Mariana] the thought struck me to send Miss MacLean to her I must think about all this when shall I get back to Paris again off what will be the end of all this - Dressed - went down to dinner at 6 3/4 - sealed and sent off at 7 my letter to ‘Mrs Lawton, Lawton hall, Lawton Cheshire’ and to ‘Miss McL- [MacLean] of Coll, Coll house, Aross, N.B.’ and my note to Mrs. Wilcock, Saville hill - Kind, civil Note from Mrs. Wilcock she had written to Geneva - meant to have written to Vienna, but after what I wrote will wait to hear from Miss P- [Pickford] again - would have been very glad to see me - in fact, knows no more than I do - my father read aloud 1 of Mr. Knight’s sermons - from 9 to 9 50/60 wrote the whole of this page but the 1st 8 lines - Rainy morning - fine day from about 11 a.m. to night - came to my room at 10 10/60 having been downstairs 20 minutes

(in margin, halfway up page)

my fath[e]r and I calculat[in]g taxes aft[e]r din[ner] for

2 horses - 4.14.6 3 horses -5.14.0

2 manserv[an]ts - 13.0.0 3 serv[an]ts - 7.6.3

2 carriages - 3.2.0 House duty at £40 rent and upw[ar]ds, p[e]r ann[um] 2/10 in the [k[i]nd] = pay[in]g £100 a y[ea]r rent nearly £15 per ann[um]

25 windows - 7.14.3

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #1828 #mariana lawton

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awhilesince · 4 years

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Friday, 19 February 1830

Friday 19

8 3/4

1 5/60

Incurred a cross last night gently thinking of Pi (Mariana) Dressed in an hour a little motion getting up cutting open and reading Nysten’s dictionary de medicine jusqu’à 11 heures – Dejeuner en 25 minutes –

from 11 1/2 to 3 read over my letter to M– (Mariana) and wrote one end, and sent it to the post office about 1 to “Mrs Lawton 16 South Parade, Leamington, Warwickshire, Angleterre” – kind letter of chit chat – mentioned dining at the embassy on Friday and should have dined at the de N–s’ (Noés’) on Sunday and gone to the ball on Monday but prevented by sick headache – never fear more groundless than my becoming so wedded to the world as not to relish more rational and less exciting enjoyments – say I am no grumble against the world, it is not in my nature to be so ungrateful, but if I must make mental wreck it is not likely to be on shifting shoals of people but rather on dreary reefs of solitude – but will not enter on this subject now – will hear what Miss MacL– (MacLean) says – surely something will be hit upon by and by – no fault to find with Cameron – she is very well conducted and obliging – not more careless than probably others would be and anxious to do as well as she can, that I am desired of giving her chance – she would do well enough if M– (Mariana) was with me – but she is not in fact, a servant quite to suit me – she has all learn and “I, vous savez bien pourquoi, am the person to train up a lady’s maid in the way she should go” – If she cannot at last get to suit me, I shall, at all rates, not part with her till I have some reasonable hope of getting a better – mention Miss MacL–‘s (MacLean’s) so excellent account of M–‘s (Mariana’s) looks and spirits – and her having told Miss MacL– (MacLean) she meant to pay me a visit soon – asked what this might mean –

wrote 3 pages of a small sheet to Miss H– (Hobart) – thanks for the little cardcase – delighted to find I was not rubbed out of her remembrance – Surely she would understand that it was no complaint on my part to say, I would far rather have this little specimen of her handiwork than all the fine things that all the people ever made at Spa – said I instantly recollected her own – Charles shook hands with him and claimed our

left margin: acquaintance of almost 2 years standing, dating from Edinborough May 1828. Was not this wonderful for me whose memory gently serves me so ill in remembering people – mentioned dining at the Embassy on Friday myself and Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) the only ladies at dinner –

tho’ several came afterwards – had a little chit chat with Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) like her very much – she is naturally quick and clever – has 2 ideas when other people have one – Glad she was at Wimpole, because everybody delighted to have her and I know she always enjoys herself – thought, too, change of air would do both her and Lady Stuart good – knew not whether it was unreasonable or not de ma part, but began to think it long since I heard from Lady S– (Stuart) mention my letter this day week from Madame de Hagemann – concluded with saying my head would let me write no more than ever affectionately hers – Stupid sort of letter but my head ached biliously, and I could not write better –

then wrote full 1/2 sheet to Miss MacL– (MacLean) delighted with Mr Lindeley’s so good account of her – thought he seemed come here to see if he could turn his services to better account than at home – but what I had read on the subject was not likely to flatter his hopes much – he seemed unprepared for the necessary etiquette about being presented to the royal family here – made no other observation respecting him – no hint that I thought him vulgarish anything but highbred –

after 2 George brought in the card of “Mr Willoughby Crewe Hotel Aubin Rue Rivoli” with parcel containing the bond I gave M– (Mariana) at Lawton in 1826 for £200, and her marriage settlement bond, and the little dialogue she wrote (very well done) addressed to the lower class explanationary of her Friendly Society rules –

went out at 3 10/60 – my aunt with me – drove to the bois de B– (Boulogne) walked 1 3/4 hour my usual round by Boulogne and Auteil – back to the Porte Maillot – En passing left at the embassy my letter (sans envelope) to “Miss Hobart Honorable Lady Stuart’s Whitehall”, and my letter to “Miss Maclean 12 New Street, Dorset Sqare” – home at 5 3/4 – gave out 2 dozen servants wine – dressed dinner at 6 1/2 – read partly aloud, the whole of the paper –

came to my room at 8 1/2 – read my letter one full 1/2 sheet and 1 page another 1/2 sheet very kind letter from Lady Stuart dated Wimpole 15 February – but a so so account of herself – there is a place on her ankle Mr Freeman wishes her to be careful of –she feels as if she had no strength in her legs to support her – Alas! the infirmities of old age are creeping thickly on her – yet a little while and I shall have lost this good friend – speaking of Lord Graves and our sorry etc etc she adds “there is no doubt “higher powers had urged him to forget and forgive and that he could not stand it …… he must have quite lost himself as starvation attends his family as all he did dies with him – It seems Mr Charles Stuart is only come for a fortnight – then read my letter from Miss MacL– (MacLean) 4 pages and page and a few lines of crossing of 1/2 sheet envelope – unclosing 2 1/2 sheet notes from Lady Anderson (wife of Sir James A– (Anderson) lately ruined by failure of his steam carriage speculation) soliciting £1 to buy in a steam horse – it was said it might be bought in at this, tho’ it cost Sir James £80 – the intention was to exhibit this horse at one shilling each person on admission – what a resource! she finding herself in a family way, will not appear on the stage of a year – Miss MacL– (MacLean) wisely declined advancing the money herself, but did what she could to collect it among Lady A–‘s (Anderson’s) country women (the Irish) –

Miss MacL– (MacLean) gives a good account of herself about a page on the whole much less there usual on the high merits and success of Mr Long – “I am continuing as well as I think I ever shall be, and happy to feel myself as I am but I shall “say no more on my health but leave you to the faithful reporters at Whitehall who are at this moment at Wimpole” which I think rather an indecorous proceeding Henry having twice passed thro London without calling and they were promised him as their inducement to the visit but I mean never more to utter a word on the subject to Vere she has had all sorts of warning from me and may heaven direct her to what is best I wish with all my heart a vain wish that she had never accompanied you to Paris as the things of this passing world occupy her far more than formerly “There is a lady of comfortable independent fortune here Sarah Lawrence’s most intimate friend – who is wishing for a Travelling Companion for some years – she goes in spring to Paris” …… Miss MacL– (MacLean) mentioned me – anxious to hear all about me – “I do not know her much – she seems kindhearted – money in sufficiency, a harp in her room, looks musical – she seems healthy and good humoured – and speaks thro’ her nose smart in her dress – and I should think a few years older than you” – good enough! but I now feel that it is necessary to inquire well into Miss MacLs recommendations I know nothing of Mrs Lawrence were the lady a friend of Lady Ss or of Veres the case would be different as it is I doubt much besides my fancy runs on Miss MacKenzie Miss MacL– (MacLean) drolly enough concludes with (quite abruptly brought in) “Mrs Lawton is your best friend – no one loves so enthusiastically as she does” – this strikes – I know and believe it –

Coffee at 9 40/60 – came to my room at 10 1/4 – from then to 11 1/2 wrote the whole (but the 2 first lines) of the above of today – fine day – Fahrenheit 36° I think when I got up this morning, but 40° at 10 1/4 p.m. – a very little sun today, but not much –

Letter this morning 1 page from Miss Pickford Place de Noailles no. 49 Marseille Bouches du Rhône February 14 – “Fahrenheit 55° 1 p.m.” – to ask me to see and get Madame Marcet sent off if possible to Marseille as they stay there till the 24th instant – Reading a little anatomy Cloquet volume 2

(SH:7/ML/E/12/0167)

#annelistercodebreaker #annelister #paris #1830 #paris february 1830

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mccoys-killer-queen · 5 years

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This Week’s Playlist (2/14)

Not sure how I got hooked on this idea- but this week I’ll be focusing entirely on 70s songs (and next week I’ll do 80s). Disclaimer: I’m not saying these are my favorite songs of the 70s (believe me that would be WAYYY too hard to narrow down), I’m just filling this week’s list strictly with songs released in the 70s.

I’ve also created a spotify playlist made up of all the songs I’ve used on playlists! I’ll update it every week (before I even post the playlist, so if you check at the right time the songs will be there!)

1.) London Calling- The Clash (1979) I like to define this song as the song that started my descent into classic rock. When I was in 7th grade I had this music teacher who would always play pop music of the late 20th century for class. This song was one of the first songs she showed us, and it became a trademark of the class. We used to get this song played at dances and stuff- so there’s a lot of middle school memory there. Guess we all wanted to be punks- and this is a great boppy song just for that.

2.) All Right Now- Free (1970) Am I being typical for picking this song...? Perhaps (because honestly, at least where I’m from, this is the only Free song anyone knows... yikes. It’s overused in media sometimes imo). But that doesn’t meant it’s not great! It’s got everything! An epic guitar riff that frames the lyrics, a sick beat, funny rhymes, a killer musical interlude with bangin piano and a guitar solo- all while being undeniably CHILL. This one of those chill summer songs to me; the kind you listen to on a hot, quiet, and sunny car ride through the country with the windows down while wearing sunglasses. That’s just the aesthetic I’ve always associated with this song.

3.) Rock’n Me- Steve Miller Band (1976) Just try not to bop. I dare you. This is a real dance-a-little-in-your-seat song with a GREAT, smooth flow to it. Killer rhymes and a fast, subtle beat you can’t avoid even if you try. Steve Miller Band is one of my favorite groups of the 70s and I wish they got more appreciation in general. I could’ve picked so many of their songs already for these playlists, but this one stood out to me this week because I feel like it’s very recognizable (I always heard this song as a kid and I feel like maybe some people on here did too). It’s so damn catchy that it’ll just stick with you, so listen and get ready for an earworm. Also a great road trip song.

4.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy- Ian Hunter (1975) No, this isn’t Great White!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original! I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! *scoff* god, now I can see why Joe Elliott’s always shoving Ian Hunter in everyone’s faces- because he’s worth it! Maybe I’m a little biased, but I personally prefer this version over Great White’s for a bunch of different reasons. For one thing, I think this version focuses more on telling the story rather than trying to make the music over the top. The instrumentals of this one ROCK, but the way it’s constructed with the lyrics makes the story more understandable- essentially, it’s just more raw, and I like the raw sound to it, but that’s just me. You all probably know how the song goes at this point, but after listening to this version you’ll see just how much of it Great White changed. You take it upon yourself to decipher the meaning of the lyrics ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I think we all know what “rock and roll” means at this point...

5.) Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’- Journey (1979) I don’t like to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, nor was I going to mention it in any way on this playlist- but let me tell you a story: last year on VD, I was driving home from school, and this song came on the radio. Then it hit me- I had completely forgotten about ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs! This is a PERFECT example of one. It tells of an unfaithful someone who gets bitten in the ass by someone else’s unfaithfulness. Talk about a SICK burn! This has gotta be my favorite Journey song as well. It’s like a flash-fiction song; telling a huge story while barely saying anything at all. My favorite part of this song by far is how each instrument has a crystal clear part, and you can very easily pick out each one. The intro of this song is just excellent. You can clearly hear the bass, drums, guitars, and piano all introduced in different ways. It’s just a gorgeous song through and through, and those 189 “na”s at the end just tie it all together (and yes, I counted). You’ll have all the words down before you know it.

6.) You’re All I’ve Got Tonight- The Cars (1978) Like I said last week, The Cars are one of the perfect combos of rock and pop. If you think about it, this one can be another anti-Valentine’s Day song. The lyrics have a sloppy and desperate feel to them- kinda like the speaker is drunk and throwing themselves at someone because they’re that desperate. “I don’t care if you hurt me some more, I don’t care if you even the score”- like oof man, you just sound desperate. This song is a banger in every way and let’s face it- the keyboard at the chorus is just the absolute best part. Strong points for these guys are always keyboards and guitars. It’s got this rock hard chill 80s vibe to it (despite it being a 70s song- new wave, you know), you’ll feel that you need to be doing something cool while listening to it.

7.) Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin (1971) It’s so cliche of me to use this I know I know I KNOW- but can you blame me? On Sunday in a record booth at the market I found an original Zeppelin IV and I feel like this song has been following me all week because of it. This is unarguably one the most recognizable and famous rock songs of all time- because it was so expertly crafted in every way imaginable- just like everything else Zeppelin’s ever done. It’s ALWAYS the drums that do it for me in this song. l That filler at the end is- without question- the best part of the whole song. Bonzo just KILLS it. Overall, it’s a short-ish song that uses its time extremely well; it’s like all four of them went “let’s maximize every single element that goes into a bop, and make a song like that”. In some ways, this song is objectively perfect. If you want pure rock and roll in all its glory- what better song to choose than Rock and Roll itself?

8.) Keep Yourself Alive- Queen (1973) Another objectively perfect rock and roll song with a killer drum solo. I’m super biased towards Queen- but I cannot believe I never heard of this song until I was prepping my brain to see Bohemian Rhapsody! Honestly, who thinks it’s okay to keep this hidden? It’s the leading song off of their very first album- so this is almost like the song that INVENTED Queen fans! It’s a Brian May baby- and hell yeah does it show. I think everyone needs to know this song for artistic and historical reasons. It’s pure, power rock Queen through and through- despite being one of the earliest of their songs.

9.) Cum On Feel the Noize- Slade (1973) NO, it’s not Quiet Riot!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original!! Again, I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! I get so angry sometimes that Quiet Riot gets all the credit for songs like this one and Mama Weer All Crazee now. Slade was super popular in England in the 70s- ahead of their time for sure but definitely one with the glam rock movement- but not as big in America. I never knew these guys existed until about five years ago and damn I felt like I had to be blind before learning that. Just listen to this song and then I think the sound of it’ll make a lot more sense, like “oh yeah- Quiet Riot’s version kinda DOES sound like it could be a glam rock song from the early 70s!” Just goes to show what geniuses these guys were, because their songs can be both glam rock AND heavy metal and work either way. Once you hear this version, though, I believe there’s no going back.

10.) Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon (1978) This was my favorite song for a few months when I was 16- it’s absolutely EPIC. The speaker is bursting at the seams with accepting a new found moral understanding of how they feel about trying to please or win over an apparent lover. They come to the conclusion that the other person just needs to keep on “rolling with the changes” and that they’ll be there for them whenever they decide to accept that perspective. The KEYBOARD is to D I E F O R GUYS. Neal Doughty is a motherfucking SAINT- and SO IS GARY RICHRATH. This song sounds like it’s the finale of a musical or something! Possibly the biggest bop REO has ever created. It’s a groovy, extremely poetic, fast, theatrical, very slightly operatic rock and roll song and I’d highly recommend this to any person on the planet I love it that much. It’s lovable in every possible way.

#the clash #free #steve miller band #ian hunter #journey #the cars #led zeppelin #queen #slade #reo speedwagon #weekly playlists #raydio gaga

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psychobhyun · 6 years

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S I N N E R O R S A I N T

Foreword: Father Kyungsoo’s heart flutters with happiness whenever he sees you. He loves how your breath gets shaky and your voice quivers when you confess and the way your innocent voice says, “Forgive me, Father, I am weak.”

Warnings: priest!au, blasphemy, blowjob, creampie, loss of virginity, mentions of masturbation, dirty talk

Genre: smut

When your family moved to a smaller town hundreds of miles away from your city, you were excited. You hated the kids in the city. All they ever talked about were sex, drugs, and alcohol. The top three things you hated. Even thinking about it counts as a sin to you.

You knew the new town you’d live in would be more conservative. Your parents told you about the tightness of the Catholic community in the town since there was only one church. Everyone gathered a lot after church. There’s a lot of charity work too, which you were interested in participating.

Being raised as a Catholic since birth made you know the Bible well. You can recite popular verses, you can sing the songs, and you often served the Lord by singing in the masses. You can feel it in your heart. God is happy He has you as a server.

The first week you arrived, your family invited all the town to celebrate their new neighbors. You had a very big house, able to fit in all of the town. It was a small town anyway. Everyone came to the party, including the pastor of the church you will be attending every Sunday.

He looked young. It probably only has been a few years since he graduated seminary school. He had plush lips shaped like a heart and dark, thick eyebrows. Wait. Are you allowed to make mental notes about your attractive pastor? Surely not.

You slap your cheeks light to help you snap out of it. You’ve never focused on dating and guys. To you, it was something that would come on its own. When God allows you to. So for now, you’re just going to shake the pastor’s hand and try not to focus on your pastor’s doe eyes.

“I am Father Kyungsoo,” he introduces himself. He notices your nervous stance. The sundress you wore had a low cut, but the hot weather gave it context. He could see a little bit of cleavage, but this shouldn’t tempt him. He had vowed to stay holy like God. These kinds of thoughts shouldn’t be inside his head.

You reply with him politely with a smile. You bat your eyelashes at him and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You lock it twice and lean against the door, trying to regulate your breathing. Father Kyungsoo’s hand was so big compared to yours. It was making you sin. The thing you despise of the most!

As the party reaches its end, Father Kyungsoo approaches you before he enters his car. “I heard from your parents you liked to participate in charity activities?” You only nod as a response. Father Kyungsoo flashes a smile and pats your head affectionately. “Good girl,” he says before stepping down your front porch.

“I’m excited to see you at church this Sunday.”

You looked at yourself one more time. The yellow sundress covered you up nicely. You decided to bring a black cardigan to cover yourself up more but ditched the idea immediately as you stepped out of the car. Before the service starts, your parents greeted the people around them while you sat nervously.

This was your first sermon in a new church. You fidgeted in your seat and your mom held your hand to help you calm down. You smiled at her sheepishly. Why are you like this? Your clouded thoughts are interrupted when Father Kyungsoo came in to greet everyone.

The rest of the service passed by normally. Your anxiety completely left you. Maybe Father Kyungsoo’s smile eased your heart. The way he spoke was also calming. You wondered how his voice would sound when it’s whispering naughty things in your ear-

Oh no, you thought. You just committed a sin. Your heart starts accelerating uncomfortably in your chest. A light tap on your shoulder causes you to turn your head back. The person you’re dreading to see the most. Father Kyungsoo. “What’s wrong?” he asks with a concerned look on his face.

“Father Kyungsoo,” you started, almost choking on the sudden inhale of breathe you took. Should you tell the truth? You should. You definitely should. But for some reason, the response you gave was, “I was just looking for my parents, Father.” Father Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow. As if he noticed you lied to him.

“Your parents are at the backyard, talking with a few people. Why are you here all alone, little one?” You gulped at the pet name he gave you. But you doubt it meant anything more than what it is supposed to be. “Everyone is old there, Father. I have no one to talk to,” you explained.

Father Kyungsoo laughs lightly. “You can talk to me while you wait, little one. I’ll accompany you.” Father Kyungsoo ushers you around the church. Since this town had a rich Catholic history, there were lots of stories he could tell you about the church itself and the Catholic community in it.

After your heart stops racing, you started to talk a bit more casually with Father Kyungsoo, but still with respect. You asked him why he wanted to be a priest and he told you it was a secret. “You are innocent, little one. You’ll know when it is the right time for you.”

You pouted and Father Kyungsoo clicks his tongue in disapproval. “You look more beautiful when you smile. So smile for me, little one.” Your lips curl into a tiny grin and for Father Kyungsoo, it was enough. You gathered up the courage to Father Kyungsoo and told him that you wanted to confess your sins.

“You can request for me personally next time. If it makes you comfortable, little one.” You nodded as a response and said your goodbyes to Father Kyungsoo after you picked up a call from your mom telling you to come to the backyard so you could go home. Father Kyungsoo sighs as you disappeared behind the door.

Turns out the town you innocent town you thought you lived in was the exact opposite. The school may be a Catholic one, but your classmates fooled around a lot. One night, when you were having a supposedly girls only sleepover, a few guys came over to play truth or dare with you and your friends.

You got dared to touch someone’s... genitals and it made you panic. You wanted to fit in, but it was wrong to touch someone else out of marriage. The next day, after school, you ran to the church and asked for someone to call Father Kyungsoo to listen to you in the confessional.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” you said with a slight quiver in your voice. Father Kyungsoo notices the difference in your tone. It was not as relaxed as he remembered. “I was having a sleepover with my friends. She lied to me and said it was all going to be girls, but then some boys came over and we played truth or dare. My friend dared me to touch a boy, Father.”

Father Kyungsoo’s blood boiled. You? Doing inappropriate things? He could never imagine. When he thought you were done with your confessions, you continued. “I have also played with myself, Father. I am tainted.” You rubbed your thighs as you imagined Father Kyungsoo at the other side of the fence separating you and him.

Your breath hitches as you started crying. Unfortunately, Father Kyungsoo could do nothing about it. “Do you regret it, little one?” His voice echoed in the tight space of the box. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. But you answered him anyway. “I do, Father. But it felt so good. I don’t know why God would prevent us from orgasming, Father.”

Father Kyungsoo licks his lips and gets out of the booth. He opens the door you used to come in and pulls you outside. “Forgive me, Father, I am weak,” you murmur incoherently with a shaky voice. You kneel right in front of Father Kyungsoo and look up at him, hands tied together in prayer.

Father Kyungsoo sits on the bench closest to him and tells you to take a seat beside him. “Lift up your skirt, little one,” he instructs. Your eyes widen, but you didn’t disobey him. You do as he says and bite your bottom lip when you notice the wet patch forming on your white cotton panties.

He presses his middle finger on top of your clit and rubs it slowly, enjoying the little gasps you’re spilling from your lips. “You’re getting so wet, little one. God is ashamed,” Father Kyungsoo says as he puls your panties to the side, revealing your freshly shaven pussy to him.

Father Kyungsoo inserts one of his fingers. He feels how tight you are. You’re definitely a virgin. “Let me cleanse you, little one.” You blink your eyes a couple of times in his direction, not knowing how he will cleanse you. But you trust him with all of your heart. Father Kyungsoo unzips his entire attire and lay on the floor.

“Spit on your fingers and rub it all over your pussy, little one.” You do exactly as he says and spread your saliva all over your bottom lips. You moan when it’s starting to feel good. “This is going to hurt, okay?” Father Kyungsoo warns. You nod and wait for his next instruction.

“I want you to say ‘Forgive me, Father, I am weak’ every time you sink down on my cock. Got it?” You spread your legs wider and Father Kyungsoo hums at the sight. Your clit is throbbing and your legs are twitching in excitement. When you push the first inch of his length into you, you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Forgive me, Father, I am weak,” you say as you take the last few inches of his member inside your pussy. You lift yourself up and force yourself down, not forgetting to say the magic words. Father Kyungsoo places his hands on the sides of your hips and guides you up and down.

Your wetness was enough to lubricate yourself. Even though you were a virgin, your hole accommodated his length well, sucking in greedily inside of you. “Forgive me, Father, I am weak,” you mutter for the nth time that afternoon.

“God, you feel so warm and tight, little one,” Father Kyungsoo compliments as he watches your boobs bounce from this angle. He sits up straight and takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting on it. You run your hands through his hair as you gazed in each other’s eyes.

Then you feel Father Kyungsoo moving his hips, making his cock get deeper inside you. It only intensified your pleasure, so you’re more than happy to let him take the lead. As his pace gets faster, your legs started to give out. You let him do all the moving as you continued to moan.

“Forgive me, Father, I am weak,” you say for the last time before Father Kyungsoo comes inside of you. As he pulls out, he can see his own come tricking down your thigh. “Great job, little one. This should cleanse you well.” You flash him a satisfied smile. He leans in to kiss you tenderly and you intertwine your tongue with his in a heated french kiss session.

“Every time you sin, little one, I want you to come to me. So I can purify you again with my holy come. Promise?” Father Kyungsoo sticks out his pinky finger and you wrap yours around his. “I promise, Father Kyungsoo.” He pecks your forehead affectionately before he helps your dress up presentable enough to walk out again.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Father Kyungsoo. He never left your mind once after the two of you had sex. You also started to explore more and experiment with your girlfriends. You’d rub your pussies together and play with sex toys.

You also signed up for a charity event your church was doing. It was for a good cause, which is why you did it in the first place. And maybe because you could spend more time with Father Kyungsoo and steal a few kisses from him.

As everyone started to lift the boxes up for donation, Father Kyungsoo startles you and drags you out of the room into a confessional box. Specifically, the one you first used to confess to him. “So tell me, little one. What sin did you commit this week?”

You started by saying that you’ve been fooling around with girls, trying a cigarette, and touching yourself. “I played with my pussy as I thought of you, Father. Your cock messing up my insides as you come inside me with your holy come.”

Father Kyungsoo grunts low in his throat and undresses enough to reveal his cock to you. He pushes you on your knees and instructs you to open your mouth to take him inside it. “Choke on my cock. Yeah, that’s right.” He encourages.

As much as you wanted to focus on pleasuring him, you stopped immediately when you heard your parents calling out your name. You detached yourself from his cock and clamp your mouth shut. But Father Kyungsoo had other plans. He lifts up your skirt and rubs the tip of his cock on your clothed sex.

Your parents kept shouting your name as he whispers to you quietly to take off your panties. After you did, Father Kyungsoo inserts himself slowly into your cunt. He thrusts, slowly at first, but it became relentless when your whimpers started to become a bit messier and inaudible.

“You like that, little one? Getting fucked by a priest in the confessional? Almost caught by your parents? Tell Father,” he groans into your ear. You throw your head back and lean against his shoulder. “Rub your clit for me. Do it fast.” You follow his instructions and start using two of your fingers to rub figure eights on your clit.

Your orgasm was nearing every single time Father Kyungsoo thrusts. When he does, you couldn’t prevent a loud scream from escaping your lips. You could only hope it wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear. “Once again I have purified you, little one.” You kneeled once more in front of him to taste his come that was dripping down the sides of his cock.

“Clean it up for me, little one. That’s a good girl.”

#d.o #d.o smut #d.o drabble #d.o imagine #d.o scenario #kyungsoo #kyungsoo smut #kyungsoo scenario #kyungsoo imagine #kyungsoo drabble #do kyungsoo #exo #exo smut #exo scenario #exo drabble #exo imagine

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years

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Friday 14 October 1836

7 35

No kiss much rain in the night and this morning and damp and a little small rain this morning and F47° now at 8 50 am siding in my study till breakfast at 9 ½ - A- read a little French - had Mr. Husband at 10 ¼ - spoke to him about outdoor etc for the Lodge - about the hay places etc - A- sent by him letter post paid to Messrs. Heron and Dale ordering tea and coffee -out with Robert Mann at the dry wall arching till called in to Mr. Jubb at near 12 - he went with me to see my aunt - I perceived a change last night - Matty sent to speak to me (thro’ Cookson) this morning - Mr. J- thinks the coffin had best come tonight, and my poor aunt to be soldered up - the corpse may be offensive before tomorrow morning - asked him to be so good as let Greenwood know - Mr. J- to call again in a few days to look after A- and Cookson - sat with A- talking and helping her to measure and cut out 3 servants hall table cloths - took out at 1 and walked in the walk and on the flags in front of the house till 2 - then with Robert Mann + 3 at the dry wall-arching and John Frier (come to help Robert Mann) scarping the road - Ingham and his man and boy not here today or yesterday - while with Robert who has had Joseph Mann helping him today, Holt came to go and see the Long goit - hopes the matter of Mrs. Machan’s coal will be settled on Tuesday or Wednesday and he will call and let me know on Thursday - Mr. Rawson has just sent and offered £400. Holt had offered £500 to be paid in ten years at £50 per annum or 5p.c. on the value allowed for paying the money down - I said they would never agree to this if they understood it - he must settle the matter if possible - get the coal for the least possible sum above £400 - he had heard they meant to ask me £2000 for the farm (coal including) - I said I would rather have the coal separately - to manage it if possible - then went to the gardener and Hemingway, the Wyke gardener, doing up the south bank of the new approach road thro’ the wood - staid with them till 5 ¾ when Greenwood’s man came for the cart to go for the coffin - Frank gone to the Long goit with iron rails - went towards Mytham - met him near the great sycamore and sent him off to H-x - dressed - dinner at 6 40 - coffee upstairs - sent for Matty Pollard - Messrs. Duncan and Greenwood came about 7 - with their people 2 women and men to solder up - ordered the corpse to be left upstairs - would not have the body in the drawing room tomorrow while the joiners are hammering at the hall floor - Matty came for me to see my aunt - A- wished to go with me, and tho’ rather nervous and in tears, behaved better than I expected - my poor aunt looked so little changed, and all agreed (Matty said) that there was no necessity for soldering up for several days, that I would not have it done - but had the lead coffin placed on the bed and all made tidy - to have the corpse in the house, and be unable to see it is doubly melancholy - the soldering up is to be done on Sunday night - letter 1 2/3 pp. very kind nice letter from Lady Stuart Brafield house - ‘the melancholy event you wrote to acquaint me of having taken place, I trust and hope you look on rather as a blessing, for one you so loved should be released from her long suffering!’ hopes I shall after a short time be able to leave home - kindly hopes to see me in London or Richmond Park as may suit me best - the S- de R-s at Berne - going to Turin - give up Geneva on account of cholera - travel to amuse Louisa who is in low spirits tho�� Lady S- never observed it

SH:7/ML/E/19/0126

Letter 2 ½ pp. from M- Lawton - returned on Wednesday afternoon and wrote that evening - she seems sorry perhaps shocked at not having seen my poor aunt once again! her 1st impulse was to come ‘but a 2nd thought has made me pause, perhaps you have all at this moment you best desire, and if you had or wish you would have expressed it, in perfect confidence that the friend of your youth and affection, is always ready to share your sorrows, and rejoice in your comfort - call upon me as you may, and when you may, I am always ready - Events have indeed made a wide gap in your affections, but those you have loved best press forward to help to fill up the void, and whilst Mary is left there is yet one to love you ‘dearly fondly and faithfully’........ I am sad, I feel very, very sad - but, Fred, I am faithfully and affectionately yours Mariana’ - Letter also 3pp from Mrs. Duffin York condolence - supposes A- my great comfort #, and supposes ‘your sister is also with you who will feel the loss of a good aunt; at your same time she will aid you all in her power - remember me kindly to both’ - i.e. A- and Marian - announces her nephew Mr. George Marsh’s marriage 14 August to Elizabeth Frances eldest daughter of Archdeacon MacDonald of Salisbury - the young man just in priests orders and inducted to the living of Sutton Beuger in North Wiltshire - E. Raine much improved in health - wants to have much talk with me about her - a surplus of income - thinks her old servant Whiuray might have the £10 per annum left to her in the will made in my favour! - Letter also 2pp. from Mrs. Bull 3 Friargate Derby - thinks she has found a housekeeper to suit me - lived as lady’s maid and housekeeper with Mrs. Evans the banker of Derby - wages £25 per annum - a trustworthy managing woman understanding all sorts of cookery - Thomas the York joiner doing my dressing room both yesterday and today - Read tonights’ paper and then wrote all but the 1st five lines of today till 10 40 at which hour F42° - damp morning but fair from about 9 am and finish towards noon and very fine afternoon and evening for the time of year -

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thewakingcloak · 5 years

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ProtoDungeon: Episode II

(Quasi)Daily Updates Thus Far

Hey all!

ProtoDungeon Episode II (TWC prequel) is coming along nicely, and I’m building out a lot of vital systems for it, future episodes, and The Waking Cloak. I also began a sort-of-daily update on the Discord server that I’ve been meaning to post here but keep forgetting to because I am a scattered, scattered person.

Anyway, uh, yeah, there are a lot of these, lol. I’ll try to post these more regularly in the future, but I hope this is fun and informative for those of you who like reading weirdly specific details about gamedev.

Daily Update - May 24, 2019

Summing up what I've already done before today: -Ring mechanics are done -Day, night, and light sensors are done (though don't have any art) -Created an object that will switch day/night

Today: - Reworking my "interaction" code so that you stop walking after interacting with something during the walk state.

Daily Update - May 25, 2019 -Finally resolved the "interact" code by adding a new player state. Now the player actually stops when interacting with objects instead of just walking into them the whole time. -Fixed a small bug where dialogue boxes would show up with the first message already "fast-forwarded" to the end with no sound. -Started working on polishing up the day/night switcher object (this is what the interact code was for). Should be important in this dungeon since the player won't have the cloak!

Daily Update - May 26, 2019 -I tend to take Sundays easy. I worked on a bed sprite for like ten minutes though!

Daily Update - May 27, 2019 -Added the ring and its upgrades to the test room! We're now technically ready for super early patron alpha testing, which I'll put up sometime in the secret patron channel in the next few days!

Daily Update - May 28, 2019 -Set up the Itch build for pre-alpha patron testing -Worked on figuring out how to clarify the day/night and ring mechanics, visually -Began sketching out dungeon layout, now that I have mechanics set (as opposed to Episode I where I had to retrofit my design a few times after it was mostly done).

Daily Update - May 30, 2019 -Finished the rough draft of the dungeon layout!!!

Daily Update - May 31, 2019 -Finished the second draft of the dungeon map, including several more detailed rooms with puzzle designs

Daily Update - June 1, 2019 - Finished the THIRD draft of the dungeon map, think I've finally got the layout and puzzle locations pretty much settled (it's been a toughie with day/night/dayshift/nightshift)

Daily Update - June 3, 2019 -Updated level 2 of the Ring of Starlight to generate two blocks instead of one block with a dayshift/nightshift effect. This is like what was originally level 3, except the blocks will move in sync with each other -Changed the ring upgrade descriptions. I'm going to try for a more lore-based, somewhat poetic approach for these over a mechanical explanation. (Level 3 is obviously a temporary description) -Pushed the build up to Itch as v0.3.0

For those of you who have access to the pre-alpha and are using the Itch client, updating should be very easy! However, since something got renamed somewhere along the line, you will most likely have to remove the previous version of the game if you don't want it to ask you to select your version when launching the game. I don't think this will happen again... probably. :) I'm still working on the level 3 mechanic, also.

Daily Update - June 5, 2019 -Decided on new lvl3 of the ring -Fixed blocks so they now fall into pits. Long live the king. -Updated Itch app to v0.3.1

Daily Update - June 7, 2019 -Added level 3 of the ring. -Fixed a bug where pushable blocks couldn't be pushed. You had one job, pushable blocks. -Fixed a bug where the player wouldn't fall into a pit after swapping with something that's over the pit. -Fixed a bug where the synced level 2 ring block would not collide with objects when starting from "rest".

Daily Update - June 8, 2019 -Fixed bug where the dialogue box would crash sometimes. I fixed this bug before. I don't know why it came back. The code I used to fix it was gone. Will keep an eye on this code to see if it disappears again. -Updated HUD to display ring and ring level instead of scroll and swap spell level. -Fixed the controls. Space was mapped to both item "A" and item "B", and apparently it doesn't work that way when the item isn't mapped to both slots :P -Fixed a bug where the game would be very, very tiny if it was not in focus when starting in fullscreen mode. I commented out a line of code when updating the application surface resizing and forgot to uncomment it. -Updated v0.3.9 to Itch -Started work on the next draft of the dungeon sketch now that the ring mechanic has been finalized wooooo

Daily Update - June 12, 2019 -Competed new draft of the dungeon, pretty happy with this one. I'll just need to work in the puzzles and make sure the dungeon graph (a la GMTK Boss Keys) works out so players can't get stuck. -Fixed an issue where you could push blocks past the edge of the screen (and a related one where when you tried to do that, you would keep moving through the block while the block stayed still). -Fixed an issue where you could create blocks on top of each other.

Daily Update - June 14, 2019 -Started working on Tiled draft of dungeon -Began experimenting with larger default room sizes. One aspect I liked from Blossom Tales. Still keeping rooms, of course, since that's what counterintuitively makes an overworld feel big, but bumping up their width/height by about 50% each makes them feel that much larger and explorationy. -Updated test room to new room size. -Uploaded v0.3.12 to Itch, which includes the new room size, as well as the fixed bugs from the June 12 daily update

Daily Update - June 16, 2019 -Continued working on Tiled draft of dungeon. Slow work at this stage, but I believe the overall layout is complete. -Started laying out my sticky note version of the dungeon and puzzles. Lots has changed since last time I built puzzles for this dungeon, so reworking it has been fun.

Trying to decide whether the blocks should stay put when you move out the room, or disappear like the Cane of Somaria. Persistent blocks would make for some interesting puzzles.

Also trying to decide how the overworld will map down to the dungeon, since some of the dungeon rooms are a bit small and constrained. I'd like them to line up. Might still make them the same size as the overworld rooms, just with long connecting bits.

Daily Update - June 18, 2019 -Puzzle design is done! -Tiled map draft is coming along much faster now that I know what to fill the rooms with. Already making tweaks to the puzzles (and I'll certainly make more tweaks when building in GameMaker, just how it goes)

Daily Update - June 19, 2019 -Tiled map draft is almost done! Getting verrrry close now.

Daily Update - June 21, 2019 -Tiled map draft is COMPLETE!!!

Daily Update - June 23, 2019 -The actual dungeon in GameMaker is underway and making quick progress. Already improving on the Tiled map, I think! Could be done with the graybox and have it playable for patrons by the end of the week--stay tuned. Lemony Snicket voice "Graybox" here means "with crappy programmer art and white/black tiles"

Daily Update - June 24, 2019 -Made major headway on the dungeon in GameMaker. Very close to wrapping up the graybox tiles, and I've made a bunch of refinements to the existing layout and puzzles!

Daily Update - June 26, 2019 -Layout and graybox tiles are done -Colliders are done -Cliffs are done -Stairs are done -Pits are done -Item upgrades are placed -Some keys are placed -Buttons are placed (not hooked up yet)

Quasidaily Update - June 27, 2019 -Worked on hooking up buttons and bridges and simplified the lvl1 ring room (for me, should be about the same for the player)

Quasidaily Update - June 28, 2019 -Finished doors and hooked up buttons -Fixed various puzzles and rooms that weren't working correctly

Quasidaily Update - June 39, 2019 -Finished the ladder! -Finished bridge collision -Completed... the trap room -Hooked up the doors/buttons I missed (pretty easy to find since I use a red color blend on the offending buttons ingame) I... uh... am just gonna leave that as the 39th Very very close to alpha now, unless those two bugs end up just crushing me

Quasidaily Update - July 1, 2019 -Added day/night blocks -Added a missing teleporter (int/ext door) -Fixed one of the two softlocking bugs (in about 5 minutes)!

Remaining before patron alpha release: -Secret thing -Second bug -Verification that the dungeon is playable from start to finish

Quasidaily Update - July 2, 2019 -The second bug is technically fixed, but it's pretty janky and unpolished. I'll keep working on this tomorrow. -Cleaned up and optimized the block pushing check logic, which had all kinds of duplicate collision checks and wack timers being set all over the place

Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 -Finally fixed the second bug. This was a block syncing/pushing issue that would've prevented everyone from completing the dungeon -Began testing the dungeon's playability from beginning to end. Ran into a few more things I fixed: -Added a level 3 ring upgrade description since it actually does something now -Some bridges were missing pits under them, so you could walk across even if the bridge wasn't activated. -Discovered the level 1 and 2 ring blocks don't fall in pits anymore. Oops. Gotta fix this still. Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 PART 2 -The dungeon is playable from start to end (except you can't get in the final room yet, but that's a quick fix) -Hooked up MORE buttons/doors that I had missed -Replaced/moved the keys around--I think this will be much more satisfying now -Added the method to get to t h e s e c r e t Pretty pleased with it this time around--I think it's even more cryptic and fun to discover ehehehe "ehehehe" is to be read with a witch's voice

Quasidaily Update - July 4, 2019 -Tweaked t h e s e c r e t entrance ほほほ -Worked on t h e s e c r e t puzzles.... they're pretty devious お~~ほほほ

Quasidaily Update - July 5, 2019 -Fixed broken challenge puzzle. -Fixed bug with lv1 and lv2 ring mechanics--they weren't falling down pits anymore. That just makes this game way too easy. -Fixed a bug with lv3 ring blocks that was also breaking the challenge puzzle -Added some tiles to cover up my greybox "answers" -This wraps up all the changes for alpha. We'll go live with the alpha for patrons early tomorrow!

Quasidaily Update - July 6, 2019 -Released the patron alpha! Woohoo! Rali has been enjoying it at least/ -Released v0.4.2 update: -Fixed two unmarked pits. Kinda sucks to fall into the solid ground. -Game Over now resets only the player, not the entire game.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 -Released v0.4.4 update: -Added collision around water bridges so you can't walk on or get trapped on the water... -Removed a call to GMLive that may be causing a crash on the PlayerEquipmentRingState script.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 PART DOS Released v0.4.10 update: -Removed "You got a key!" text because... well, it should be obvious. -Do not freeze player on headstone moving. -Fix stutter when a level 0 equipped item is "used." -Made it so you can't push jars and blocks up stairs. They are TOO HEAVY. -Added an escape route to the challenge room so you don't have to throw yourself in a pit to get back to the start if you get stuck. It doubles as a "skip" for one of the puzzles once it has been opened. -Fixed challenge room exit so you don't get trapped. :)

Quasidaily Update - July 9, 2019 -Fixed colors on the east/west player "use ring" sprite so that the night palette shader doesn't miss it (meaning it would render her skin in the day palette) -Updated teleporters to use channel strings so I don't have to manually set the target coordinates for ALL THE TELEPORTERS AAAAAAAH. -Oh, and yeah, most importantly: released v0.5.0 update! Completed dungeon remodel!! It uses the build-a-final-key method like in Episode I. This allowed me to make the dungeon a bit less linear. It also meant I knocked down a wall or two, added another puzzle or two, and all around made something I'm much more satisfied with.

Quasidaily Update - July 10, 2019 Released v0.5.5 update! -Fixed a crash when attempting to push arrows (read: moving toward an arrow while it's trying to kill you). -Toned down the arrow knockback effect -Fixed awkward/slow interaction with arrows knocking you into pits -Shortened room respawn freeze time -Fixed a bug where the player could walk directly into the arrow and avoid taking damage. Pretty sure that's not how arrows work (this was related to the pushing bug above!).

Quasidaily Update - July 11, 2019 -Starting to place actual tiles over the greybox tiles and gosh it's nice to have real art.

Quasidaily Update - July 12, 2019 -Majority of the final tiles have been placed and it looks great. I still need to make a few interior wall sets and a handful of floor tiles. It really brings the dungeon to life

Quasidaily Update - July 14, 2019 -Released v0.6.0!!! I'm very excited about this one because it's the first of the graphics updates. The majority of the basic final tiles have been placed. There are more graphics updates to come (which you'll note if you play this version), but is the biggest of 'em. Looks great in day and night!

Quasidaily Update - July 15, 2019 -Added new one-way-jump wall tiles -Completed secret room tiles and decorations -Added lighter tall grass

Quasidaily Update - July 16, 2019 -Today was a writing day, mainly. I'd like to have the little snippets of dialogue and bookshelves and so on done in a day or two. It's exciting stuff, showing off the tips of all these icebergs. -Last night I pushed v0.6.4, an update that had lots of good graphics updates. Except I forgot to replace the player back at the start of the level after testing, so neipo had some fun times starting at the END of the level. Fixed and uploaded in v0.6.5!

More! -Uploaded v0.6.6 in which I fixed an arrow issue that I already fixed previously. Except, I had only fixed it for ProtoDungeon I. Which is why @neipo13 ran into it to my great confusion.

More!!! Uploaded v0.6.8: -Fixed one of the lvl3 ring puzzles so it didn't have a ridiculously easy solution (thanks for finding that, neipo). -Fixed description of round key.

Quasidaily Update - July 17, 2019 I intended to do some writing today, but I got more excited about something else.... sooooo, cue the upload of v0.6.13 - The Optimization Patch! - in which the average framerate on my dev laptop is now 260fps up from 120fps. -Moved the half-speed/GIF mode to only be available in debug mode (this was "G" on the keyboard, so people could just press it and not be sure why the game was running so badly). -Scott's [regular & mod on the server] lappy had major framerate issues running the game, so I did some optimization and found out the pits were accounting for 50% of the time of every single frame. The best part: they only needed to run the offending code ONCE. So I moved that code from the step event to a one-time event and voila, framerate is way more stable. -Turned off GMLive entirely and added an easy toggle for me. This is very useful during development, but it likes to make lots of calls when turned on. -Updated the "listener" step event, which was setting a blend mode every single step. In debugger mode, this is so that stuff like buttons and doors turn red if they're not hooked up. Otherwise it "unsets" the blend mode by setting it to -1 every single step (regardless of debug mode). Apparently this has some unexpected overhead, even if the blend mode is ALREADY -1. A quick and easy fix. -Swapped out the existing (non-moving) tombstone objects for different objects. Almost all of the tombstones were instances of the same object as the ones that move, but that came with a lot of additional overhead (my "listener" object still accounts for a lot of time because it's doing some checking with ds_lists every frame for every listener object; the moving tombstones have listeners, the normal tombstones do not). They're behaving themselves now.

Quasidaily Update - July 18, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.14! -Fixed up collision in the secret room -Finished secret room lore dialogue

There's still more writing to do for the headstones, bookshelves, and a certain NPC who isn't in the game yet, but yeah! Getting there!

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 Over the last day or two, I've slowed down a lot--think I'm getting close to burning out, plus not certain I'm satisfied with the story implementation thus far in Episode II (am I too obscure? Revealing too much? Will people care? etc). That said, I've gotten some stuff done, and uploaded v0.6.19 -Fixed some borked collision near the hut (thanks for finding that, Rali) -Fixed tombstones so they could display text -Added text to various tombstones >:) (and bookshelves) -Fixed the interaction check so that you don't interact with objects to the north of you when facing to the east or west.

Today I switched gears and created a batch file that could compile an executable without even opening GameMaker!! This is actually pretty exciting. I could almost, at this point, switch completely to GMEdit, which is significantly faster and more intuitive tham GM workspaces. Oh, and the batch file also uploads the compiled exe to Itch

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 I decided to switch gears again and work on the save game feature. Not done yet, but it IS saving the player/inventory objects, and I'm setting it up to be pretty easily able to take in any set of objects, auto-read all their variables, and set 'em.

Quasidaily Update - July 22, 2019 Been working on the ol' save system still. It's going well. I had to fight a bit with my camera system (like always lol), and now I'm making sure the ring blocks properly reset--currently they crash the game which isn't quite right...

The system as planned for PDII will essentially be an autosave that triggers on entrance of each room. When loading the game, all solved puzzles should remain solved, and ring blocks should remain in place, and you'll appear at the entrance of whatever room you exited the game from. At some point in a later episode I'll include slots and specific save points not unlike bonfires from Dark Souls

Quasidaily Update - July 23, 2019 Saving and Loading Continued Cleaned up the loading--it would snap you back to the load point and the camera had trouble keeping up. Now it's a nice, clean fade transition with no camera moving around.

What's left: -Properly saving blocks and other puzzle elements. Currently it, uh, duplicates them? So that's nice. -For some reason, the ring itself disappears when you reload the game -Need to set up the fadeout transition so it finishes before puzzle elements get reset and the time of day changes -Set up an autosave on room enter -You can actually get stuck in the first ring room by crossing a bridge and having that bridge disappear behind you, then quitting and loading your save. I'm trying to think of a good way to solve it now and in the future without making it easy to miss setting up something manually.

Quasidaily Update - July 25, 2019 Moar Savingz Ring blocks are finally managing their own order, and it's wayyyyy more stable and uses a ton less code than before. Previously, during the player's "use ring" state, it would call the inventory manager to update the order of the blocks, which it stored in two variables. It worked, but occasionally the order would get really weird and so on, plus it was going to be a nightmare for reloading. The problem is that the inventory manager was holding the ring block IDs in those two variables, and IDs are not guaranteed to be the same on re-run.

Solution: ring blocks get an integer variable that stores their order, called order. When a ring block is created, it tells the other block to update its order. If that order is already 2, destroy it. Simple, and easy to save since it's an int.

In a pre-quasidaily update today Daniel learns why his ring blocks aren't loading They are And then they're instantly destroying themselves Because of the code he wrote To tell them to destroy themselves Thank you

Quasidaily Update - July 26, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.22, possibly the final 0.6 version since saving is coming sooooooooooon. BUT. Here's what you guys get: -Fixed some more collisions near the hut (seriously, did I move that entire room over one tile somehow) -Allow jumping off ANY ledge (WOOO) -Fixed occasional crash when creating ring blocks

The save/load system is working also, but not available outside of debug mode yet! As far as I can tell everything is saving and loading properly as expected. There are a couple places you can save scum past, and I have a few ideas for handling those, but that probably won't be something I deal with for a bit. However, the player is not currently able to save or load (unless they're in debug mode, as mentioned), which leads me to the next major update I will be working on: M E N U S and O P T I O N S

Quasidaily Update - July 27, 2019 I'm 25 minutes through a 70 minute series by FriendlyCosmonaut on a menu system. This is a lot lol.

In the process, I did a little bit of reworking/cleaning on my controls system. I now have some global variables that hold all the currently configured controls, instead of hardcoding the controls into the input manager. This was in preparation to allow control remapping!

Quasidaily Update - July 30, 2019 Been quiet for a few days--hard at work on the new menu system. This one is a doozy, you guys. I haven't done this much straight code on the TWC "engine" since Episode I.... maybe even longer.

Finished the FriendlyCosmonaut series, which was a great foundation. Now I'm building off it (and trying to get tons of parts of it to actually work still). I'd ideally like to have it look a lot like the old mockup from my blog post on difficulty settings (many of those difficulty settings will not be used in ProtoDungeon or TWC).

Here's what I got so far. Still a lot of the FriendlyCosmonaut design in this, which is good, but doesn't quite fit with this game.

brightness/contrast do nothing, window actually works pretty well--unless you change the smoothing size, in which case it starts acting up...

vsync.... I think works? I haven't even tried toggling screenshake I want to use the "bouncing arrows" style from the mockup instead of color, fix the on/off to use arrows instead, fix the sliders so they use pixel arrows instead of drawn circles.... so much left to dooooo I just have to remember it was loading a black screen this morning

Quasidaily Update - August 7, 2019 Been alternating between taking breaks and working furiously on menu stuff, as you can see with screenshots.

Spending a lot of time on remapping. There's a lot to polish here, stuff you might not think about on first glance (What happens if a key is already mapped to another? Do you handle the menu not closing while you're remapping the menu key? Do you handle the menu so it doesn't navigate when mapping the back key? Do you include primary and secondary control sets, and if so, how do you display that clearly? Etc.)

Not all these questions have difficult answers, but they add up. So that's basically all I've been working on for the past week or so :)

Today I got the gamepad up and running and the secondary control set as well. I forgot how good it feels to play the game with a controller vs a keyboard. My wife happily exclaimed "You're playing with a controller!" :D

The secondary control set was a back and forth decision. The deciding factor was mainly wanting to ease the initial "time to start" for different players--so you can move with WASD and the arrow keys, or with the dpad and the stick. I have a pretty good idea how the UI will work for this too, so now that the gamepad is working, I'm gonna start on the secondary controls.

Quasidaily Update - August 11, 2019 -Primary and secondary gamepad button remapping are working -Got some cool new gamepad icons, improved thanks to Corvos -Fixed the menu so you couldn't close it on the menu page when starting the game -Added a second, ingame menu with resume/settings/save & quit as options -The new menu will pause all "actors" (objects with states) -Fixed a bug where the secondary gamepad right input was not mapped

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019 -"Defaults" option now works for keyboard and gamepad -Fixed an issue where you couldn't remap some of the secondary keyboard inputs (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Fixed an issue with the menu arrow being in the wrong place (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Removed light blue coloring on selected menu items. Judging by other menus, arrow seems to be enough by itself. -When remapping, the current selected control will now blink instead of remaining static. -Made sliders more usable--it wasn't really possible to move them 1% at a time, which was unwieldy and annoying. Now they have a "ramping" speed and are much easier to control.

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019, Part II -Toned down the strength of the brightness slider just a bit. -Updated the shaders to affect the GUI as well as the game. This should include the menu as well as the HUD, the dialogue box, and, in TWC, the inventory screen. I kinda like this. We'll see if it bothers people. :D

Quasidaily Update - August 17, 2019 -Fixed an issue with menu sliders not being drawn when the shader is applying to GUI elements. Turns out the built-in line drawing doesn't pass texture information to the shader. At this point I'm not sure how to configure the shader correctly, so I just made the lines into sprites instead lol. -Added title to the top-level menu! Yay! -Fixed game loading so it would load the correct room (both GameMaker room and in-game "area"). -Autosave the game on room entrance. -Autosave the game on getting an item (this way you can't cheese certain rooms). At this point, playing the game, quitting, and coming. back to continue is working REALLY WELL. -No longer save "region" (rooms in the game) objects, since these get created and setup perfectly fine on room creation. -Added SOME SECRETS YAY! -Autosave the game on "teleporting"--going through doors, up/down stairs, etc. -Fixed the "circle out" transition, which was apparently not working or used anywhere. -Changed all "teleportation" to use circle-in/circle-out transitions--a little less visually jarring and much nicer looking than a fade-to-wipe-from-center.

Quasidaily Update - August 19, 2019 -Added tiny pause in the middle of the teleportation transition so that it's a bit less jarring -Simultaneously, allowed toggle to camera easing so that I don't have to add fragile pauses to loading and certain transitions and so on (to wait for the camera to finish moving to catch up with the player loaded position). This fixed a small camera jerk when loading the game. This will eventually be an option on the menu for those that don't like the easing (and also because turning off subpixels makes camera easing REALLY BAD). -Fixed issue with audio groups not loading (by loading them, wow). This is probably temporary since next big task is to add the Wandersong audio engine, but the fix let me actually see my debug messages instead of spamming "Audio Group 2 is not loaded" whenever a sound is played lol. -Fixed bug with loading the game on a teleporter (doors, stairs, etc.) where it would immediately take you to the target location. This had multiple parts, but namely 1) just making sure to set the global "isLoading" flag and to not teleport during that, and 2) setting the "isLoading" flag earlier, since the teleporters were faster than my load manager lol. -Fixed "New Game" issue where it would fade to black, start the game, and then fade to black again. Turns out if you call "fade out" twice, it will fade out twice.

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