#anyway. regardless of my arms. I have made a thing and I am so excited to unleash it upon the world

[sibyl-of-space]

Final builds of demo are exported. I am so tired. Tomorrow I finish the trailer and Sunday I finish the final presentation of the steam page and press submit. Everything going well the demo releases in a week..............

[joelmillers-whore]

I'll Be Here In The Morning

summary: after a heated argument, you try to go to sleep alone, but joel knows you can’t and he doesn’t like not sleeping next to you. he comes back and the next thing you know, the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

Recommended Song(s): Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

Word Count: 4.2K

Series or One-Shot

Warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, joel x female!reader, no mention of Y/N, no outbreak, slight relationship insecurity, they have a fight but it’s not shown, SMUT, joel calling reader darlin’ because why not, joel reassuring them and being sweet, also age gap i guess, canon divergent, praise kink, unsafe sex (don't be like joel, use a condom)

A/N: hey ya’ll! this is my first TLOU fic and i am so excited to post it here (also my first time posting on here). i am an AO3 user through and through but i thought it was time to broaden my horizon so to speak. i was so overwhelmed with how many of you wanted to see this type of fic, so please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think or request anything you want to see. i’ll try to get to it/ i’m trying to be more active. i’m not sure if my asks are open so let me know if that works lol. anyway, i hope ya’ll enjoy this!!

Slamming the bedroom door behind you, you crossed your arms over your chest. You were angry, furious even, mostly with yourself but also with your boyfriend. Anger was coursing through your veins, pumping white-hot rage through them that made your chest constrict when you thought back to the petty fight you’d had with Joel not ten minutes ago.

It was mindless, stupid bullshit but you’d gotten angry over it anyway. You weren’t even a hundred percent sure just how it started, but you did know that you had been a simmering pot, ready and waiting to explode. So you had needed to get out of there, away from him. You didn’t fight with Joel often, even though your clashing personalities would beg to differ. When you did get angry though, there was no holding either of you back. 

You and Joel each had your own way of dealing with anger and most times, you chose to walk away, not wanting to accidentally say the wrong thing or to say something hurtful that you didn’t mean in the heat of the moment. So, here you were. In the bedroom. Fighting back against your racing heart and rising body temperature.

You had come back home after a long day on your feet and something mundane had set you off, and Joel just happened to be in the line of fire. Before long, you and Joel had gotten into it and not in the fun and sexy way you found yourself always wanting from him, regardless of what kind of mood you were in. 

You thought back to the argument and how dark and endless Joel’s eyes had looked, how they seared into you when you were fighting, keeping you locked in and firmly in place. A shiver ran up the length of your spine as you imagined how he had crossed his arms, clearly in frustration, but how even when you were angry, you hadn’t been able to look away from his broad chest or how the material of his shirt had been pulled so tautly over his bulging muscles, making you bite your lip.

That annoying little flutter in the pit of your stomach made you groan in exasperation because even when you were upset with him, you couldn’t deny the sexual chemistry you and Joel had. 

You shook your head, trying to shake yourself from your lust-induced daydream. You were overtired from work and clearly still reeling from an argument that you hadn’t been expecting to come home to. You glanced over at the clock; it was later than you had realized it was. How long had you and Joel been fighting for?

The all too familiar feeling of regret settled into your bones. You hated fighting with Joel, with the one person you considered to be more of a family to you than your actual family. But what was done was done and there was no going back now. 

Neither one of you held onto anger for long, both of you deciding a long time ago that if either one of you were still angry in the morning over what had transpired the night before, you would agree to sit down and hash it out. That rule had probably saved your relationship more than once, and anger between the two of you never lasted for more than two days at most.

Rolling back your shoulders, you held firm to the idea that holding onto what you had said and dwelling on it wouldn’t help you now, so you thought about something else instead. You thought about how your muscles ached and how a migraine was slowly forming. The only cure that could help you now was sleep. 

You knew that come the morning you and Joel would be back to bickering lovingly with each other and laughing over breakfast, just like how it always turned out. He was bound to forgive you, you hoped. But what if this fight was the one that tipped him over the edge? What if when he left, he wouldn’t come back?

Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach like a thousand-pound boulder. You bit back the sting of tears and honed your hearing, listening for anything in the darkness that enveloped you. Disappointment manifested quickly when you heard nothing, except for your harsh breathing. Fuck.

You had fucked up royally, laying into him like that. And he wasn’t even there so you could fix it, there was really nothing you could do at the moment. You debated for a minute about calling him but you decided against it. He needed time to cool off— you both did. And you wanted to give him that time. 

With a heavy heart, you started getting ready for bed. Maybe if you went through the motions, pretended like everything was fine, and sped through the night, Joel would be there when you woke up, smirking like you were his whole world again. So you rid yourself of your clothes and changed into something more comfortable; one of Joel’s shirts that went down to your knees and some sleep shorts. You lifted the hem of the shirt to your nose and inhaled, getting lost in the scent of him that still lingered.

It was warm and clean with a faint hint of coffee. It was Joel to the core and you rubbed your thighs together when you thought about how that scent crowded you when you and him made love, or when you had first started seeing each other, you had stayed up during a rain storm and just talked for the whole night, staying awake on black coffee and powdered donuts. 

Mindlessly, you climbed into bed and settled in, trying to fall asleep despite the gnawing feeling in your gut. You sighed heavily, flipping over the pillow and then fluffing it, repeating the motions until you made your head spin. You never could sleep alone. Even before you had met Joel, you hated it. And right now, you hated it even more, especially when you reached over to his side, feeling for him.

But there was nothing there except the coldness of the sheets. You grew annoyed at yourself for how needy you felt without him snuggling next to you, his body heat warming you up better than any blanket could. You wanted Joel here, not anywhere else. And he knew it, which was why he almost never left you to sleep alone if he could avoid it. Almost never. Until now. 

You closed your eyes and tried to count sheep, thinking that it could help. You tried not to concentrate on how alone you felt or how you missed him so much it hurt. Counting sheep must have helped because before you knew it, you found yourself in a dreamless sleep, tossing and turning for the majority of the night. Your ears pricked up when you heard a noise, thinking you heard the bedroom door open. You stiffened, attempting to remain calm and closing your eyes tighter.

Whoever it was moved around in the dark, their shadow fidgeting with the dresser before they climbed into bed next to you. They nudged themselves closer to you and relief washed over you when you recognized their scent. It was Joel. He came back. Just like he always did. 

He shuffled his body closer to you, his solid front melding to your back, as his face snuggled into the crook of your shoulder, just how you liked it. It confirmed that he was there and he wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. 

“You still mad?”, Joel mumbled, his Southern drawl coming out gruffer as he tried to keep his voice low. He nuzzled your shoulder deeper, planting a soft kiss there. 

You shook your head, as best as you could in the position you were in. You were well past the anger stage. And right now, you just wanted him beside you, with you. Right here. You felt Joel’s growing hardness rest against your back and a dull throbbing started in your cunt, making you squirm. 

“I thought you weren’t coming back”, you croaked, the shroud of darkness acting as a shield against how scared you were at the thought of Joel not coming back at all. 

Joel held you tighter, his arms flexing as he wrapped them around you in the same way you were used to. His gesture of keeping you close was more of a comfort to you than any of his words could. You craned your neck slightly, trying to make out the expression that was on Joel’s face, but it was hard.

The bedroom was mostly dark except for a tiny sliver of moonlight that shined through the window, and even then, it was tough. You could make out the tiniest of details in the low light; like the imperceptible way that his eyebrows creased when he was focused on you, or how you could tell that he was still smiling because of the way his eyes crinkled, despite being unsure of your mood. God, you loved this man. 

Joel was there for you and you let out a tentative and shaky breath, grateful that he came back to you. You let any remaining tension drain from your body, and shifted your hips, which earned you a sharp groan from Joel, his hand flying to hold your hips in place. 

“I’ll always come back to you, darlin’”, his voice was gruff and came out strained. His hot breath fanned over your ear, “Always”. 

“Promise?”, you asked, grinding back into him again. It was the last confirmation you needed and then you would drop it, let the argument fade away. 

You could hear the smile in Joel’s voice, “Promise”. 

The tightness that had been sitting on your chest was no more and you were feeling bold, and a little more than turned on. The idea that Joel would always come back to you made you wet, and you rubbed your thighs together, trying to alleviate some of the pressure you felt between your legs.

As if sensing your arousal, Joel’s hand wrapped around your middle, pulling your ass flush with his erection, his hand splayed across your clothed stomach, holding you to him. 

You felt his short stubble run along the side of your neck, and your jaw, the abrasive sensation making your pussy flutter with the idea of that stubble rubbing against you harshly, until you were swollen and red down there. 

“Baby...”, Joel protested weakly, his half-hearted attempt at drawing out the tension between you two. But there was tension and it was a string that was being pulled taut, ready to snap at any moment. 

You grabbed Joel’s hand that was on your stomach, guiding it lower and lower until you stopped at the waistband of your sleep shorts, your chest on fire from your choppy breathing. 

“Please, Joel”, you whined, grinding your ass back into him and moving your hips in slow circles, spurring him on. “I want you to make me feel so good like you always do”. 

You were back to guiding Joel’s hand past the waistband of your shorts, into your underwear where he could feel how wet you were for him. He groaned, the vibrations from it making your skin tingle. An almost non-existent fuck was whispered as Joel’s hand found your soaking cunt, his deft fingers sliding through your folds.

When you removed your hand from his, letting him take charge, he hesitated. But when his thumb found your clit and you moaned, throwing your head back, he continued, not stopping for even a second. 

“This good?”, he asked, as he teased your hole with his thick digit, pulsing the finger in and out, just enough to taunt you with pleasure and then rip it away when it felt too good. It was frustrating but you figured you somewhat deserved it for the fight from earlier. 

You hummed, “Mo-more”, and you bucked into his hand, gyrating against it as you searched for more friction. 

Joel sucked the pulse on your neck hard and you groaned, your head rolling to the side in pure ecstasy as he licked the spot when he pulled away. Fulfilling your command, he continued to work you over, work you to the edge. Your moans mixed with the sound of his finger, which soon became two fingers, pumping into you, a squelching emanating from you with every pump.

He was stretching you out, trying to prep you for his cock. Even this far into the relationship you needed some prep, he was that big. But you wouldn’t want it any other way. You loved his size and his girth and how deep he could go. 

“Can you come for me, darlin’?”, Joel asked, as a groan slipped past his lips. 

You flinched when his fingers curled, bringing you back to the moment as a tingle started low in your belly, the pressure building and building until it was too much, it was all too much. 

“Fuck—”, you cried, cutting yourself off as your orgasm slammed into you, making you see stars. It was searing and hot and violent. 

Your hips stuttered as they rocked into Joel’s hand, finding comfort in the fact that he was still lazily pumping into you, helping you ride out the aftershock. 

“That’s my good girl”, he praised, thumb whispering over your swollen clit. You whined from the added pressure, feeling another orgasm start to build. 

You had just cum and yet Joel was ready and willing to give you another one. Even when his engorged cock was nestled into your back, twitching with the need for his own release. He wanted— no, needed to give you your pleasure before he could seek out his own. Joel teased your clit again, pinching it as you yelped.

He removed his hand from your underwear and brought it to his mouth. You still weren’t facing him but you could hear the obscene sounds coming from him as he licked and sucked his fingers clean of your juices, not letting a drop go to waste. Fuck, you were so turned on already it was positively insane. 

Joel gripped your waist and turned your body toward him, positioning himself so that he was slotted in between your legs, his upper body resting on his forearms, so as to not crush you with his body weight. Both of your chests were heaving at this point as another shot of excitement and arousal shot through you.

You brought a hand to Joel’s cheek, thumbing over his scruff and savouring this tender moment between the two of you. 

“I’m sorry”, you said, swallowing your nerves. 

In the softness of the moonlight, Joel’s eyes glimmered when they looked down at you. It wasn’t quite lust or amusement in them, but something else, something closer to love and adoration.

He dipped his head down and kissed you. It was tempered and subdued but sweet as he licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance into your mouth. You granted it to him, letting him explore your mouth like it was the first time. A swallowed-up moan left you and Joel pulled back. 

“Me too”. 

It was simple and yet he meant it with his whole heart, you were certain of that. Picking up where you left off, Joel palmed your breast through your— his shirt, making you tremble beneath him. He pinched your nipple and it made you arch your back off the bed, both to escape and chase that feeling. 

“Let’s get this shirt off, hmm?”, Joel mused, playing with the hem of it. You nodded and lifted your upper body off of the bed as he helped you out of it, tossing it somewhere behind him. 

“Your turn”, you said, almost breathlessly, and Joel obliged. He sat up on his knees and stripped himself of his own shirt. 

You couldn’t help but pause and appreciate him and his physique. He wasn’t insanely built like an athlete or someone who stuck to a strict diet all so that they could get a six-pack. Joel’s body was sculpted from years of manual labour and although some might not be turned on by a broad chest and a toned stomach, you certainly were, and you were enamoured by it.

Your hand seemed to have had a mind of its own because you were raking your fingernails along his chest and stomach, drawing a line all the way down to his waistband. You watched as his muscles tensed from your touch, his eyes snapping shut like he had to concentrate on restraining himself.

Your hand remained on his waistband, your index finger playing with the dark line of hair that led all the way past the pants and to the straining member, you knew awaited you. 

“If you don’t quit staring at me like that, darlin’, this might be over before either of us want it to be”, he drawled, quiet and low. 

Your eyes snapped to his, which were dark and endless pools filled with lust. He looked like he was ready to devour you and your thoughts came to life when he gripped your thighs forcefully and spread them apart, making quick work of peeling you out of your shorts and drenched panties. 

Joel groaned above you, “Such a pretty pussy, and ‘s all for me, ain’t she?”. He bit the tender flesh of your inner thigh, making you jump. But you didn’t go very far, his grip on the back of your thighs holding you close to him and keeping you in place. 

You wiggled your hips, trying to get him to hurry up, “All for you”, you whine. 

Joel chuckled, but didn’t tease you for much longer, answering your silent prayer as he dove into your cunt, lapping and sucking like he was a man starved. You writhed beneath him as he continued, not letting up as he brought you to the edge of another orgasm. 

“How you feelin’, baby?”, Joel asked, as he came up for air. You nodded fervently, feeling like you could die if he didn’t continue what he was doing. 

He chuckled as he went back in, the vibrations making your head swirl and your toes curl at the sensation of his tongue fucking into you. You were so close it hurt and Joel could tell.

He shushed you before bringing his thumb to your clit and massaging it in tandem with his tongue, making you mewl and bury your hands in his short hair, pulling at his scalp as you begin to grind yourself on his face, practically riding him as you chase your high. 

“I’m gonna—”, and you do. 

You cum hard and quick, this orgasm ripping into you like a hurricane. The blinding wave of pleasure had all of your inhibitions clouded, as a light buzz started coasting through your body, leaving you sated. Your mouth is agape, a mix of a whimper and a shrill moan escaping you. 

You felt as though you had just run a marathon, your body was on fire and yet there was a calm as you came down. You revelled in the aftermath of your orgasm, feeling drunk off of it. There was a slick layer of sweat that coated your whole body, but you didn’t seem to care. Your mind was quiet as you listened to your breathing, your heart hammering below the surface.

Running a hand through your hair, you felt the mattress dip when Joel shifted his body weight, his beard glistening with your slick. You reach down and grab his face with both hands, bringing him to your lips. You groan when you taste yourself on him, the tang fueling your growing desire to be filled deep with him. 

Joel murmured something against your lips but you couldn’t hear, your heart beating too loudly. “What?”, you asked. 

“I need to be inside of you”, he whispers again, and you moan as he ruts into your bare core. 

“Then do it”, you said, looking at him through hooded eyes. 

Joel bit his lip, shaking his head as he stripped out of his jeans and then his boxers. His dick was thick and angry, the tip a bright red as it leaked pre-cum. You followed a drop with your eyes as it trailed down the shaft and you licked your lips at the sight. 

Joel chuckled, the noise shooting straight to your needy core. You sat up slightly, reaching out for his cock but he stopped you, “Not tonight, sweet thing”, he stated, “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to last if you start suckin’ me off”. 

You keened at his words, desperate for some sort of relief. You snaked your hand from the pillow all the way down your chest, rubbing your nipple as you moaned, Joel’s eyes never leaving you. His eyes on you felt right, like you were putting on a show just for him, and in a way, you were. He watched your hand slide lower down your stomach and finally disappear between your legs. 

“Goddammit”, Joel hissed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly, “What’d I just say?”. 

He ripped your hand away from your aching cunt, pining it above your head as punishment. You let out a choked sob, “Please...”. 

Joel’s cock twitched against his stomach at your plea, and he released you. He gripped his length and tugged harshly, letting beads of pre-cum dribble all over his hand.

You watched him throw his head back as he panted above you, finding a rhythm. As you opened your mouth to whine and tell him that you needed him, he grabbed the back of your legs and folded you in half, thrusting his hard cock into your pussy. 

The force of him slamming his cock inside of you without much warning was enough to make you cry out. You couldn’t focus on much more than the pleasure that he could provide. It was as if you could never be fully satisfied, not when it came to Joel. You would always want him as desperately as he wanted you, each and every time. His hips snapped into yours, almost to the point of pain as he set a demanding pace, burying himself deeper and deeper into you. 

“So”. He grunted with a thrust. “Fucking”. Another snap of his hips. “Needy”. Thrust. 

Joel was never one to deny you, and you knew that. You might have been needy but he was willing to give you whatever you needed. And most times, all you needed was him. Him and that fucking delicious cock. So, he made sure he delivered you another orgasm. You chased your release, the desire striking you like a bolt of lightning— fast, powerful, and all-consuming.

It started in your toes and rushed in. Joel’s thick cock pumped in and out of you hungrily. He was both providing you with another orgasm and trying to find his own release. Each thrust was more punishing than the last, each angle hitting the right spot, and guiding you both to your release. 

“That’s it, baby”, he groaned, manhandling you until you were basically straddling him, his hands on your back, holding you steady.

“Can you gimme another one?”, Joel purred into your ear as he fucked up into you, his hips losing their rhythm and you knew he was close. 

“I’ll try”, you said, snaking a hand in between your bodies, and rubbing your cunt in time with each pound of his hips. 

“That’s it, you’re doing so good”. 

He barely finished his sentence before you were shaking in his arms, finding your orgasm from his praise. 

Drunk on only two orgasms, you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, too sensitive and too sated at the same time, “Mmm, love when you make me come”. 

Joel laughed with adoration as he continued fucking you, chasing his own release. “And I love makin’ you come, darlin’”. 

You felt your walls clamp around his cock, milking him for all he was worth. With a final few pumps, he groaned, letting his head fall against your shoulder. Joel tensed slightly and his body shook as he deposited ropes of cum deep into you.

Your head lolled to the side, feeling his body grow slack against yours. His was flush against you, trying to control his breathing as you did the same, your arms wrapped around him as you stroked his back. 

A long moment of comfortable silence passed before he lifted his head up, scanning your face. You smiled tiredly at him as he kissed you, letting the bliss wash over you both.

Joel kissed your forehead and slipped out of you. You in turn whined at the loss of being full of him. Your limbs were heavy as you melted into the mattress, feeling Joel collapse next to you. His arm drifted around your waist, pulling you into his side. 

He kissed your temple affectionately, “‘m sorry about our fight”. 

You nodded, snuggling closer to him. “I know”, you bit your lip, contemplating your next words, “I just worry that one day we’ll really get into it and you’ll never come back”. 

Joel stiffened for a moment, before he turned to you, whispering into your hair, “You don’t need to worry ‘bout that ever, darlin’. Because I’ll always be here in the morning”. 

[finniestoncrane]

2.5k Event Request - Mad Hatter x GN!Reader word count: 760 a/n: urgh poor little jervis, will he ever make batman his alice? will he ever not be held apart from the other rogues in the gcpd? find out... not in here, this is just a little luffy piece where his sadness is cured by a hug cw: angst, fluff 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie2.5k (to follow or to block)

“Oh dear, another one lost. Another attempt failed. I try and I try, and there’s nothing but loss.”

You could hear Jervis’ pitiful tone as you walked down the corridor, mumbled words, some unintelligible, some nonsensical, all of them coated in despair and sadness. It wasn’t the first time he’d been caught, but it was the first time since you’d been under his employ, and as you made your way through the GCPD, you wondered if you could bear to do it again. He sounded so sad, so downtrodden. You were far more used to him excited and energetic, focused on his work and enthusiastically optimistic about his plans.

Now, as you approached the cell he was being held in, you braced yourself, aware that he would be sensitive, almost a different person, and you would have to be gentle, delicate when speaking to him.

And then you were there, turning a corner and seeing him, forlorn and sorrowful, sitting on the bench in the cell. Caught once more by Batman after another of his attempts to make him his Alice. You wondered why it was always him. Jervis had mentioned his reasons in passing, and you’d gleaned that it was something about his kindness. You imagined it was his care for the citizens of Gotham. After all, to Jervis, goodness was what Jervis cherished most in this world in other people.

As much as you enjoyed that about him, it had bothered you that he hadn’t noticed that same kindness in you. Despite how much of it you offered to him. In fact, you reserved it for him most of the time. It was easy to care for him deeply, even easier to feel like you had to protect him, had to encourage him. He needed it so badly. And now, you were here to offer it to him again, in one of his lower moments.

Stepping into the cell with Jervis, you watched as the guard closed the door again after you, locking you in there with your duties. You approached Jervis slowly, feeling a pang in your heart as he looked to you, scared at first, the fear melting away when he realised it was only you. And then his eyes watered began to water again, and he cast them to the floor as you spoke.

“Jervis, it’ll be ok.”

Without looking up at you, he went into a small tantrum, his hands being thrown out to the side to punctuate his words, emphatic in his insistence that it would not be ok.

“Your words don’t mean anything in the face of the evidence! It is not fine, it is not ok. It never is. Never. Not for me. Not for my work. It’s not ok and it’s not going to be, either.”

Undeterred, aware that you were the one tenuous link to reality and optimism he had left, you continued, pushing past his hysterics and putting on the most comforting tone you could in the face of your own nerves.

“Maybe… maybe, Jervis, you’re just looking for the wrong thing… or the wrong person?”

“I can assure you that I am not.”

Heartbroken, you sat down next to him anyway, content to just be there for him. He was worth your kindness regardless.

In a move you were surprised by yourself, you put your arm around him, moving the other one to pull him into you until you were wrapped around his body, hugging him. The first hug you’d shared with him, the first physical affection between you both ever, in fact. And he was accepting it.

Not wanting to push things, or to overstep any boundaries in your professional relationship, you decided to end the embrace, standing up and smoothing down your shirt as you cleared your throat.

“I have to go… I need to speak to the lawyer now. But I’ll be back. And it will be ok, Jervis. You have to believe that.”

Despite sharing that moment with him, you could still feel your heart low in your chest, disappointed that the sweetness had been soured by his previous assertion that he did know the right person he was looking for. It saddened you, but you needed to stay strong, if only for him.

You were unaware, however, that Jervis was watching you go, eyes wide with wonder as his belief in you rose, and he realised that there was perhaps a chance that he was wrong after all. So he bid you farewell, quiet enough that you couldn’t hear it, but unintentionally so.

“Goodbye, Alice.”

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 29)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (27)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(**Trust the process...**)

Jordan was laughing so hard that YFN worried her protein shake would come up.

“Dory, it’s not funny!”

Jordan tried to talk, sitting up and wiping the tears away with the bottom of her shirt but at the sight of a worried YFN, she was right back at it, rolling around like a bug on her back on the couch. Her laugh had upgraded to a wheezing laugh as she struggled for breath which made YFN finally crack a smile and allow herself a little chuckle with her. She walked over and tilted the back of the couch up, making Jordan fall off and roll onto the carpet in the living room. Not even that stopped her. Not until Blu was getting excited at her laughing and started to lick her face and yap.

“I’m never doing anything nice again.” YFN groaned.

“Ah… Jesus… okay I’m back..” Jordan chuckled, wiping more tears away and managing to pull herself back onto the couch. “If you could see your face though.”

YFN whined. “Who the fuck writes that?! What if I wasn’t even gay? They don’t know anything about me.”

“Leah said she’s sorting it out, yeah?”

“Yeah.. she was really apologetic about it actually.”

“Of course she was. But she’s really good at sorting things like this out, no need to stress. I’m definitely not, but thanks for my daily laugh, I think I wet myself. I’m glad I didn’t take you up on that offer to go instead.”

YFN rolled her eyes. “She wanted it to be you. Besides, they actually know your name. They probably just wrote ‘partner’ because they have no clue who I am.”

Jordan pulled her down next to her and squeezed YFN’s cheek like a grandparent. “But that all changes today, chicken!”

“I’m so nervous!”

“I’m so excited for you! This is going to be great. Plus, your merch is sexy.”

“Free beanie if you pose for a photo for me.” YFN winked.

Jordan slapped her arm. “You’d give it to me for free anyways.”

“You have no idea how excited I am to see you play.”

“Don’t get your hope up chicken, Chelsea are brutal under Emma.”

“Regardless of any of that, you’re still going to be there in your little kit, and I’ll be on the sidelines waiting for a selfie and an autograph. I wish I could wear your jersey!”

Jordan grinned. “I don’t think anyone will blame you for a bit pf favouritism on your first day. I am very cute.”

“Yes.. yes you are. Very cute.” She looked at the time quickly. “Now we both have to go and I’ve had about five hours sleep since my late night drive from London. So… let’s talk about Leah.”

Jordan gave a funny face.

“She was great last night, Dory. She was helpful and chivalrous and so much fun to be around. She also gave really great advice for me about Lucy..”

This interested Jordan. “Oh? What did she say?”

YFN quoted what Leah had said to her about making a mistake by convincing herself it was what was best for everyone when it’s not.

Jordan’s lips moved from side to side while she thought. She could tell she was a little emotional.

“So… she admits it was a mistake?”

“This isn’t new, Jords.” YFN said softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. Jordan smiled at her using ‘Jords’ instead of her nickname. “I told her that the Leah I see now is not the ‘weak’ woman who left you because she thought she wasn’t enough. She’s stronger now. More mature. She’s learnt her lesson. And… I told her about how we met.”

Jordan’s teary eyes shot up to meet YFN’s. “You told her about the beach?”

She nodded. “Multiple days, hours on end. And a little more… she cried.”

Jordan nodded, as if that would stop her tears forming. She leant back and sniffed also. That seemed to work better. “She really loves me still.”

“She does. Will you talk to her?”

Jordan went into her space and zoned out for a little bit before she nodded. “Yeah, I’ll talk to her.” Then she added in a soft voice, “But I’m scared.”

YFN wrapped her arms around her friend. There really wasn’t much to her at all. “It’s okay, she won’t hurt you. I… may have threatened her.”

Jordan looked up at her in surprise and then amusement. “Did you?”

“Of course I did. She took it well, to be honest.” They chuckled together at that. “Just take it slow, yeah? Take it at your own pace. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t push it.”

She nodded and took out her phone. She took a deep breath in and wrote out a message, pressing send before she had a chance to backtrack. She looked at YFN and blushed with a smile at how proud she looked at her.

“Your turn, chicken.”

“My turn?”

“Oh come on. Lucy is your person. You need to talk to her eventually because there’s only so much avoiding the topic I can do with her. Besides, if I saw those photos on the internet, then Lucy definitely would have.”

“Oh… oh! You’re right. She’s going to be-”

“So fucking annoyed when she sees them and you haven’t spoken to her.” Jordan cut off with a mum look.

YFN pouted. She was right. It was time to talk to Lucy. If she was being completely honest with herself, it had been incredibly hard. It was like she needed her. Not just her body craving her, but her brain, her heart. Her Lucy. She deserved the chance to talk and explain.

YFN took her phone out under Jordan’s watchful eye and messaged Lucy.

YFN: I’m sorry for taking so long.. I’m really not used to this, Luce. I can’t stop thinking about you. Can we talk?

YFN knew she had no right to be anxious, but she was. It was now five hours later and Lucy still hadn’t replied. Fair enough, she had training. It was MD-1 for her. But still, she was usually better at replying. She looked through the FC Barca stories on Instagram again and saw Lucy looking less cheery than usual in the morning and throughout training. She bit her lip at the sight of the bandage on her left hand that she’d been wondering over all morning. All of the comments were speculative and Barca management hadn’t put out a statement about the injury so her thoughts ran a little too wild and worried.

Cheers erupted suddenly as the players started to enter the field. YFN pocketed her phone and wrapped her arms around her body to protect herself a bit better from the rain. YFN was on the sidelines, her crew spread out around the edges to get photos and videos. It was basically a practice game for them to get used to the best spots, best shots etc and they’d talked about it and planned it thoroughly all week. YFN put her fingers to her mouth and whistled loudly when she saw Jordan walking out in the starting line-up. She flashed her a grin, finding her immediately with her purple and yellow Lumos beanie on. Although the other members of her crew were also wearing the Lumos hoodie, YFN had felt the beanie would be enough and wore Lucy’s hoodie instead. It was comfy and smelled like her. Vanilla and bitter orange.

Although the game was in Birmingham, it was an unfortunate demolition of Aston Villa by Chelsea. Both sides started strong and 11 minutes in Jordan almost collected a nice assist to Rachel Daly who was on fire. She had several attempts, but all seemed to be missing to the left. YFN couldn’t help but groan. She didn’t have a favourite team, but she wanted Jordan to do well. Chelsea were up by 2 at the half-way break, YFN taking the opportunity to round up her team and have a chat. Some of their photos were incredible, and they all spoke excitedly to each other about what angles were working, what lighting and more. There was going to be a lot of footage to edit.

The second half began and within minutes Jordan had a shot on target that was saved. So close. Jordan was subbed off at the 71st minute mark, looking frustrated as she walked off. Chelsea were up 5-0.

It ended 6-0 to Chelsea. 6 goals with 6 different goal scorers, and if that wasn’t impressive enough, they were missing their best striker, Sam Kerr. It was undeniable how good they were. How clinical. There were unbelievable players on both sides, she thought, Rachel Daly unable to be used to potential during the game for Aston Villa. She also loved how Jordan played, which was much more aggressive than she’d imagined, and she wondered if Lucy had encouraged that at all. Jordan seemed to get annoyed easily on the field, but she also managed to pick the ball from players when they didn’t expect it.

When the game was done, a few players from both sides came over for a chat. As she’d said at the pub, they weren’t conducting interviews yet, and so they were just friendly chats with players interested in Lumos. Most players requested photos of themselves to be sent to them, and YFN agreed to this. If they’d post them on their Instagram with the Lumos watermark, that would be a great start.

Jordan wandered over after Millie Bright and Erin Cuthbert had finished their conversation with YFN. She greeted them briefly and almost fell into YFN’s arms. Tired little Dory after 71 minutes of running around.

“I’m your number one fan, Miss Nobbs, will you sign my hoodie?”

Jordan was disappointed at the game but grinned at that. “I’ll do you one better, chicken.”

Jordan removed her jersey and signed it before giving it to YFN who’s mouth had dropped open. “Really?”

Jordan seemed proud of herself. “Really.” She had her arms wrapped around her little body, shivering in the rain.

“Come here!” YFN took one of the Lumos merch hoodies she had and pulled it over her friend’s head. “I know it’s company merch, but you can just hide the logo with your arms if you want.”

“Ohhh it’s so warm.” She said as she pulled the hood up, still shivering. YFN pulled her to her chest and rubbed her back. “Y..Yeeeeees.”

“Comfy, huh? You played brilliantly out there, Dory. I didn’t realise how aggressive you get when you play?”

“Do I?” She asked sheepishly.

“Ohhh yes. Very entertaining. Also, do they not have a kit small enough for you?”

“I’m an extra extra extra small. And no, they apparently don’t. I’ll need a belt for my shorts soon!”

Matt and Ruby appeared then, wide-eyed at YFN holding Jordan to keep her warm. They were both from Birmingham and Matt was an Aston Villa fan. “J…Jordan Nobbs, I’m Matt… hey.” He introduced himself with an awkward hand out.

Jordan was amused by this and shook his hand. “Hello Matt. Did you get any good photos? You were almost chasing us up the boundary line!”

“Oh! I hope it wasn’t distracting. I’m a videographer and I have a few of you if you’d like to see?”

Matt and Ruby showed Jordan the footage they’d gotten for her, proud when Jordan was obviously impressed.

“Oh I think this is going to work out great, chicken.” She said to YFN with a grin.

“We’ll make sure to edit the footage and have it sent to you tomorrow for approvals to post, and for your own use.” She smiled.

“Yes! Please! And I was thinking pizza tonight?”

“I would die for some pizza and hot chocolate in this weather. The crew and I need to go through a lot of editing though before the games tomorrow though.”

“Just bring everyone over! We have room. There’s only eight people, right? I’ll get extra pizza.”

“Wait.. you LIVE together?” Ruby asked.

Jordan looked at YFN and gave a little chuckle. “You haven’t told them?”

She shrugged. “It didn’t seem relevant… but I think that’s a great idea. We’ll all have pizza and do some editing, as long as no one is allergic to Blu.”

“I get to meet Blu?!” Matt asked before he blushed at his admittance that he knew Jordan had a dog.

“As long as everyone is out by 8pm. We need to get some sleep.” Jordan slapped her friend’s shoulder.

“Five of our guys need to get back to London tonight so they’ll all be out early. As for pizza…Joe can shout that.” YFN said with a wink at Jordan.

They’d been through five pizzas and hours of footage and photos when YFN’s phone finally dinged. She’d never picked up her phone so quick in her life. Jordan gave her a look that she missed as the room drowned out and she focussed on her phone.

Lucy: Sorry, little one. Just got home from training. Lost my phone yesterday.

YFN: How are you texting me..?

Lucy: MacBook.

YFN: I was starting to worry.. can we talk?

Lucy: We need to talk, but not over text. I’m not a good texter. Security said a fan found my phone so I’ll get it tomorrow at the game and call you after it, okay?

YFN could tell Lucy had something to say and agreed that it would be best to talk over the phone rather than things being misinterpreted over text.

YFN: Okay Luce.

Lucy: I’ll call you about five-thirty your time. Will you be free?

YFN: Okay, I’ll be driving to Crawley then.

Lucy: You’ll be staying in the London apartment overnight, I hope?

A worried Lucy meant she still cared.

YFN: Is that still okay?

Lucy: I’d be upset if you didn’t. I meant it when I gave you that keychain.

YFN looked down at it. Three different coloured house keys, the car key, and three flags. She bit her lip and remembered the look in Lucy’s eyes when she’d given it to her. It was the best present anyone have ever given her. They had so much to talk about, but most were better off over the phone except one.

YFN: I love it, Luce. How’s your hand?

Lucy: It’s okay. Stupid accident. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow, okay?

YFN: Yes, please. Have a good game tomorrow, Luce.

There had been no text from Lucy when she woke, but she’d expected that. Her start to the day was slow as she woke early to pack her bag for an overnight in London. She left before Jordan was even awake, putting her overnight bag in the boot before she got in the driver’s seat. She looked down at the little keyring that Lucy had given her. She’d only realised today that the key colours represented her clubs. The blue key for Manchester represented Man City, the red key for London represented England, and the yellow key for Barca represented Spain and the Barca away kit from 2022. It would be her first time using the keys, and the idea of using them felt a little wrong to her, especially after the previous few days. She felt bad. She played with the little flags before putting them in the cup holder and starting the car.

She arrived at Meadow Park early, glad that her reserved parking space was close so she wouldn’t be so held up trying to get to the end of the Spurs and Everton game. She met up with Bridget and Emily who were a couple, and both Arsenal supporters. It was very obvious, the way they were practically bouncing up and down. Bridget and Emily both did a bit of videography and photography, however it was clear that Emily was better with photographs and Bridget with videography as Bridget was a bit more excitable when it came to chasing players around the boundary lines for videos, whereas Emily was definitely the more shy and level-headed one. They were incredibly entertaining.

As YFN was also present, she would make the most of herself by taking some photos also. As she was setting up her camera, she felt two arms slide around her waist and pick her up in a hug.

“Ohhhh here she is!” Caitlin almost shouted.

“I could pick you up with one arm, chick, there’s nothin’ to ya!” Katie said as she put her back down.

YFN laughed and hugged the pair. They were in their warmup gear, ready to prep with the rest of their teammates who were entering the field. Kyra saw them and ran over excitedly.

“Finally here to watch the Aussies, huh?” She cheered as she leapt onto Caitlin’s back.

“You’re so annoyin’!” Caitlin laughed. Kyra was definitely the little sister of the group.

“I’m a bit worried we won’t be able to keep up with you, to be honest. You’re just too quick, mate.” YFN winked, knowing Kyra would love the compliment. She did. She grinned proudly.

Bridget and Emily noticed the interaction then and couldn’t resist walking. YFN introduced her excited and nervous colleagues to the trio.

“Oh, I’ve seen you around in the stands before.” Caitlin said.

“Yeah, don’t you two do Tik Toks?” Katie asked.

“We used to have a Tik Tok and Instagram channel for female football, but now we’ve had a lot more training and we’re with Lumos.” Bridget said, proud that they recognised them.

“Ohh upgradin’ to the big leagues are ya? Well it’s nice to have you in the team. We’re lookin’ forward to the photos you can get for us.”

“If you can keep up!” Kyra said, flexing her bicep. Katie grinned while Caitlin rolled her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Bridget and Emily are massive Gooners, they’ll keep up for sure.”

Jonas called out then and the trio said their goodbyes as they headed over to warmup.

“How is it that you know everyone already?” Bridget asked as she looked at the team in awe. “We’ve been around forever and we’ve never met them.”

YFN shrugged. “Luck, I guess?”

Both Katie and Caitlin were starting for Arsenal, with Caitlin’s Matildas teammate Steph Catley and Lucy’s England teammates, Lotte Wubben-Moy and Alessia Russo. For Man City, Lucy’s old team, there were two Matildas; Alanna Kennedy and Mary Fowler as well as a few of the England squad also; Chloe Kelly, Lauren Hemp, Esme Morgan and upcoming goalkeeper Khiara Keating. The game was a mess… but it was great. The referee had given out so many yellow cards that even YFN who knew the bare minimum about the sport knew it was overkill. In the first 20 minutes, there were 4 yellow cards, 2 to each team, and a goal for Arsenal. A beautiful assist from Caitlin to her Aussie teammate Steph who launched top bins at the 14 minute mark. By half time it was 1-0 Arsenal, and 6 yellow cards had been given out. The teams were very evenly matched, both with incredible players from all over the world.

After half time, the game restarted just as crazy as the first half and at the 53rd minute mark, Caitlin was shown a yellow for a bad foul. A few substitutions were made for both teams in the 60th minute, however it didn’t seem effective until Man City scored their equaliser with Chloe Kelly. Steph went down hard in the 85th minute, and finally Arsenal had their second goal 2 minutes later. Unfortunately, their goal had come at the cost of a bad mistake make by the Man City keeper, Khiara Keating who was left in tears. More shots were made, more substitutions and of course, Katie managed the game’s 8th yellow card in overtime for a bad foul.

The game ended 2-1 Arsenal, effectively ending Man City’s unbeaten start to the season. It was the best game of football she’d ever seen, though she couldn’t help but be upset for the young Man City goalkeeper who couldn’t seem to be consoled for her mistake. She had spoken to her at the pub, though knew she didn’t know her well enough to try and comfort her. Her teammates were already supporting her enough. She looked over at Bridget and Emily who were being respectful and not trying to get any footage of her as she walked off the field.

Kyra came back over to YFN before any of the others could, and they started chatting. She was the newest signing to the club and hadn’t had the opportunity to show how good she was, but she seemed confident that she would.

“Will you cover internationals?”

“That’s the plan! My boss wants to take over everything so this is really just the beginning.”

“Yeah the girls were showing me some of the photos and they look great!”

“We’ll send them to you so you can do what you want with them also. Promote yourself, mate.”

“They don't cost anything?”

“Nope.”

“You’re going to be so busy..”

“Oh don’t I know it. We’ve only covered two games so far but I can already see we need a lot more people for all areas, especially editing.” She groaned, looking over to where Katie, Steph and Caitlin were making their way over.

Kyra noticed and spoke nervously before they arrived. “Have you… been to a Leicester game yet?”

“Leicester? No, that one’s in Liverpool tonight so I’m missing it this round.”

“Okay.”

YFN wondered at her question. “Are you a secret Leicester fan?”

“No! No.. I just.. I know someone who plays for them.”

“Oh? Who?”

“Well there’s Remy Siemsen who’s Aussie too..” She looked at the trio getting closer. “..and then there’s Courtney Nevin…”

YFN understood now. Caitlin had told her about that. Courtney and Kyra grew up together and went to high school with each other. They dated for a while and then had a falling out, both unfollowing each other and never seen talking to each other. She looked at the young Australian who was blushing and looking at her feet. She leant closer to talk quietly so the others wouldn’t hear. “Would you like me to talk to her?”

“I’m not sure. I just.. think I want to make sure she’s okay.”

YFN caught her eye and gave her a supportive smile and a nod. “I’ll do that when I see her, okay? I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks.” She whispered.

“Ohhhh COONEY CROSS CROSS CROSS.” Caitlin wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her close. “Debut next week for you, Ky, I bet money on it.”

Kyra grinned.

“That’ll be fun against Leicester, you can run wild!” Katie said.

Kyra’s face dropped, and her eyes widened as she caught YFN’s eye. That’s right, it was Arsenal vs Leicester next week. “Will you be there?”

“I won’t… I’ll be covering the Bristol, Aston Villa game in Bristol. Matt and Ruby will be covering that one.”

Kyra gave her a ‘please help’ look that she couldn’t avoid. “But now that I think about it… it would make more sense for me to switch with Matt and do the United/West Ham game and then the Arsenal/Leicester game so I have more interaction with the players. Plus, Matt is a huge Aston Villa fan.”

Kyra looked a little relieved.

“Steph, great game!” YFN said, looking at the Matilda’s vice-captain. “Great goal.”

“Aw, thank you! I’m not really known for my goals so I’m happy to get one.”

The five of them bantered for a little with Bridget and Emily joining them, utterly star struck as they showed them their photos and videos. Then Katie insisted that they do an interview together.

“I don’t have my equipment... my microphones. I haven’t even prepped questions.”

“Oh bull, we’ll be fine. Besides, we’ll answer anythin’ you ask.”

“Microphones are right here,” Bridget said sheepishly as she opened her equipment box.

YFN thought for a second before deciding she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Players were never interviewed more than two at a time usually, so it would be a brilliant first interview.

She set them up with their mics and Bridget set up the camera. YFN was nervous, but she went with it.

“Okay, rolling? Fantastic. We’re here at Meadow Park with four of our Gunners, and the famous Ausenal trio. Now, we didn’t originally plan for an interview today, but Katie insisted on it…”

“Heeey hey hey, don’t tell them that!” Katie laughed before looking at her teammates. “And now that you say it, I’m feelin’ a little excluded bein’ the only non-Aussie here.”

“Are you used to being around the Aussies yet?”

“They’re so unique that I’m not sure to be fair.”

“Aw come on, we’re not that bad, mate.” Caitlin chimed in. They shared a look. “Maybe Kyra.”

“She is the annoying little sister.” Steph laughed.

Kyra rolled her eyes and looked at YFN. “They’re always complaining, but they love me really.”

The interview went so naturally between the five that YFN had lost all sense of nervousness. Instead, it ended up being good banter and she could see from the reactions of Bridget and Emily that it must have been entertaining. They spoke a little about Kyra settling in, Steph’s goal, Man City’s players and then with Caitlin starting them all teasing Katie about her late yellow card. Katie never admitted to it, but it was obvious she enjoyed her reputation of yellow cards with that cheeky Irish smile of hers.

“Oh, here’s trouble.” Steph said as Alanna Kennedy crashed their interview. She was a defender for Man City, and the Matildas. She greeted them all, obviously knowing the Australians, knowing Katie because she was dating Caitlin, and knowing YFN from their long conversation at the pub.

“Hey babe, I’m a bit offended you never asked me for an interview.” She teased; arm slung around Caitlin’s shoulder.

“Oh, I was forced into this, mate.” YFN grinned.

“Well let me call Alex over and we’ll give you the Man City perspective…”

Alex Greenwood joined the now extending interview, the girls having to share the microphones between them, and Bridget needing to step back just to get them all in frame.

They spoke about Man City, and YFN made sure to compliment the way the Arsenal and Man City players were able to compliment each other’s teams, players and good plays. They had a brief conversation about that being one of the great, major differences between the men and women’s games, and Kyra made a cheeky comment also about not rolling around on the ground for as long.

YFN wasn’t going to bring up the incident with Khiara Keating, but Alex and Alanna did, both showing their support. The Arsenal girls were also incredibly supportive about the incident also, and Katie spoke about mistakes that she had made that were necessary to the player she was now.

They ended the interview as the girls were all called over to their teams, and Kyra stole the Lumos beanie from YFN’s head. She rolled her eyes and laughed at them as they ran away. Bridget and Emily were gushing about it all the way to the car park, excited to edit the video. They all said goodbyes and parted ways, the pair headed to Crawley for the Brighton/United game while YFN was stopping by the Spurs/Everton game to check on Matt and Ruby.

YFN arrived just in the last ten minutes of the game as Everton were able to equalise with a goal. She spoke to Matt about the change of schedule for the next week, and he seemed excited to be covered Aston Villa again, not minding about the extra drive, and Ruby offering to pick YFN up from the airport as she would be flying in from Barcelona.

Before she left Brisbane Road stadium, she checked the Barca game to see how Lucy was doing. It was well into the second half 7-0 to Barca, with 4 goals by Salma, 3 assists by Graham Hansen, and 1 beautiful assisted lob by Lucy. The next 3 goals were made after half time, 1 assist by Alexia before Lucy was subbed out at the 58th minute. Alexia was subbed out not long after, and she wondered at that, looking at the highlights of the parts of the game she’d missed. What interested her was the fact that the commentators were speaking about how aggressive Lucy and Alexia were being. Both had been yellow carded, which was a rarity for them, and from the highlights, she thought they were both lucky to have only gotten yellows. They were pushing and shoving and getting a lot of aggression out. It made sense that they’d both been subbed off, even though they were playing incredibly well.

She started driving, finding herself thirty minutes away from Crawley when the clock ticked over to five-thirty. She waited for the phone call a little nervously. As each minute ticked over, she grew more and more disheartened. Eventually she arrived at Crawley, pulling up into the stadium and giving up on waiting for the phone call that would never come.

[usmsgutterson]

Hello!I saw your requests are open and I'm so excited because you're such a good writer!! If it's alright, could you please write "If we have to leave our bed today, I will kill the resin we have to" hugs from your prompt list with Kaz x Reader? Maybe when he's a little older maybe late 20's and is a lot more comfy with touch (still has bad days/moments of complete touch aversion of course) but maybe he's slightly touch starved if anything in this fic? Thank you xx

Autumn- K.B x gn! reader

Hi!! This request was very fun--I always love writing/reading these types of fics because what can I say, my favs deserve to grow and change--so thank you for sending it in!

I know I'm probably starting to sound like a bit of a broken record with it now, but I am also very sorry for how long this took! I've been meaning to write it since it came in but life and motivation slipped away for a bit there. I hope you like it despite how long it took and again, I am SO SORRY!!

Fic type- this is so so so SO fluffy!!

Warnings- there's a couple of mentions of anxiety in relation to his touch aversion and kaz's touch aversion is discussed a lot. Kaz is also probably a little ooc, and this was written at around half past midnight and then queued for later, so the editing might not be as good as it could be

As Kaz woke, he found that the first day of autumn was to be your favorite kind of day. The kind where the leaves had already begun to change colors, the kind where a downpour hit Ketterdam, the kind where such a downpour still didn't manage to drive the pigeons away from the clubs and the two of you had not a thing to worry about in the world because you refused to allow yourselves that kind of worrying.

One of his arms was draped over your waist, his chin against your shoulder, and his heart kicking off at a racing pace because of it.

Waking up like that still sometimes sent his body off into a thousand different directions, each one more fervently anxious than the last, but the come-down from the anxiety and the anxiety itself had been easier to get through as time went on.

Kaz ghosted his lips against your shoulder. Everything is fine, he told himself. I am fine. I am holding the person I love, and they are alive, too, and we are alive together.

He felt you stir, wrap your arms around his waist, and effectively pull him into a hug.

You pulled away after a minute, and Kaz's hand moved up, gently tracing your lips.

"Any obligations?" You asked.

"None of note," Kaz said. "Or--none that I am unwilling to leave to tomorrow."

You grinned. "So, a day in bed it is, then?"

One of your arms moved to rest against his shoulder, your hand finding his hair like it were clockwork.

"If such is what you fancy," Kaz said. "I, of course, fancy it too."

You laughed. Kaz pulled you closer and you let him, content to be wrapped within the embrace that it had taken him a decade to be able to pull you into.

Kaz's touch aversion had been something that you never really minded. You loved him regardless of the fact that he couldn't touch you, and his actions made up for all of the hugs, kisses, and affections in the world anyway.

But, when you were eighteen and Kaz found that the mere idea of holding your hand was something with which he still struggled, he decided he was going to find a way to get better.

He wanted to do it for you, for every wistful smile you gave when you watched Matthias press a quick kiss to Ninas cheekbone, for every single one you gave when you would notice Jesper approaching Wylan, only to wrap his arms around Wylans shoulders and press a kiss to his forehead when Wylan leaned back and said hello.

But, on the other side of that coin, Kaz decided to do it for himself. Jordie had died when he was nine, and while he wasn't sure he would ever stop grieving the brother he'd lost to Pekka and his cons, he knew that he could not scorn the idea of touching others forever. He could not forever put off the idea of ending a business deal with the shake of a hand in his ungloved one, couldn't forever glare at people who'd dared touch his arms or hands or shoulders in passing.

A decade had gone by since he'd made that decision, and all in all it seemed to have paid off.

Sure, there were indeed bad days, but that was to be expected. Things like a long lasting touch aversion don't just go away overnight, and Kaz knew that. You knew it, too, and you didn't fault him for those bad days whatsoever.

"I love you," you said as Kaz pulled away enough to press a kiss to your forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kaz said, part of him cringing at how long it had taken him to repeat the words back. The two of you had started dating when you were eighteen and Kaz couldn't say the words until you were twenty-three, when you'd already been saying them for a year and telling him that his actions spoke louder than his words and that you didn't need to hear him say it back.

He'd stopped viewing love as weakness at twenty-three, when an old but well respected gang associate had told him that trying to think love made him anything but strong was idiotic while the group was on a heist in Ravka.

The bloke was seventy, maybe, and had apparently adopted that mindset early on into his life. He'd kept it up til he was in his fifties and cost himself a family, a partner. Thinking of love as a weakness was something he'd gone on to regret, and while he'd indeed found the love of his life at fifty-two, he still regretted all else that the mindset had cost him.

Loving you, he realized, made him strong. On his most difficult days, you were there to offer a listening ear and a solution.

Love was not a weakness, as it turned out, and some days, despite what the seventeen year old Kaz Brekker might've said if he knew, love was what kept twenty-eight year old Kaz Brekker going.

One of your hands treaded through his hair before moving down his forehead, along the scope of his nose and his cheekbones, then his chin and his lips and the center of his neck, finding the divot at it's end that indicated the middle of his collarbone.

Kaz decided, in that moment, he would kill the reason you needed to leave your shared bedroom if one came up. He loved moments like those as much as you did, cherished them with everything he had because they were few and far between.

You pulled him down just a bit, pressed a kiss to his forehead and then a quick peck to his lips after he'd nodded and affirmed it was okay to, and Kaz looked at you and all that he could think of was the fact that you were so close.

You were so close to him, and he was so close to you, and he didn't want to do anything more than get closer.

"I love you," he said, breathless and touch starved and full of enough yearning to last five lifetimes.

"I love you too," you responded. Kaz's lips dipped near yours, and when you nodded, he kissed you.

It was kiss that said everything that Kaz couldn't manage to form into words, gratitude and joy and contentedness and sheer, undying and fiery love.

When Kaz pulled away, you were grinning, and so was he.

Eventually the two of you drifted off to sleep again, the only thoughts in your minds having been how much of a joy it was to be in the others company.

[inkblot22]

Can You Keep A Little Secret? 2

Dreamworks films have no right having such good soundtracks. The whole time I wrote this I listened to this and this. The second one isn't a Dreamworks song, but Scary Bitches is such a good band and I want more people to know about them tbh. The first song also is not about me, as I am neither big nor chunky, but hey, who doesn't love someone who is big and chunky? I'm sure everyone can relate to that song as either the person singing or the person being sung to. Dividers made by @/cafekitsune.

Similarly to the last part, this fic is aimed at sort of anyone, but the reader's physical body has afab features. It's not really mentioned in this chapter, but it will come into serious play later.

TW for: lots of confusion, semi-shy reader, MORE creep behavior, a lot of introspection in this chapter, one (1) weird middle-aged man, reincarnation. These warnings will get worse, and this takes place when all characters are 18+.

Part 1 here!

Monday comes with the regular stress. You slept like a newborn and your new mom came over to congratulate you. She’s sweet, but her excitement was not contagious. If anything, it just stressed you out more. At least she made dinner when she came over. Always excellent when you don’t have to do that on your own. 

On Sunday, you make a night of getting ready for your doom tomorrow. Your agent sent you an email on Friday, including the shot location. 

Monday morning, you call up your new father, who apparently wakes up every morning at four to relax before he has to be productive, and he sends over Devin and a car to take you to the set. Devin, as it turns out, is an elderly man with cataracts and your father’s trusted chauffeur. You aren’t convinced as he takes turns way too hard, your cupcake-shaped backpack sliding on the back seat. When he drops you off, he hands you a hard candy and wishes you a good day before he takes off speeding. The candy looks like it’s older than you. You slip it in your pocket.

You imagine you’re lucky, since when you walk up to the tents, you don’t see Epel. You’re not ready for the rollercoaster of emotions he inspires in you. Instead is a group of three people around your age- college kids- and a grouchy-looking middle-aged man. You take a nervous seat on one of the nearby stools.

You were certain you’d been silent, but as soon as you’re settled, the whole groups’ heads snap to stare at you. A woman with ocean-green hair walks over and holds out her hand.

“My name isn’t important right now, ohmygod it’s so nice to meet you!” She squeals, shaking the everloving fuck out of your arm, “Oh, who am I kidding? My name is Belle!”

“Uh… nice to meet you, Belle?” You say, smiling awkwardly.

“Ahhh! You’re not mean at all! Those tabloids don’t know what they’re talking about. Who believes that greasy, gossipy shlock anyway, huh?” She talks a mile a minute.

Another woman with dark hair walks over, smiling somewhat awkwardly, “Belle, you’re scaring the poor thing. I’m Argon. Yes, like the gas. No, I don’t have IBS.”

You’re not sure why she decided to clarify that, but it’s not your problem. The third person and the middle-aged man stroll over. 

“I’m Starlo. You’ll be in these meaty paws today.” The middle aged man says. It’s not a pleasant introduction, and if anything, it makes you want to turn tail and run.

You nod along regardless, and the other man jabs out his hand, “Pepper.”

“It’s nice to meet all of you.” You say politely.

Belle drags you out of the stool and towards a trailer, the only one on the lot. She shoves you in and you feel the want to leave grow stronger.

She’s so bubbly. She talks fast and she talks with her hands, “This is you and Epel’s dressing room! I know it’s not ideal, so that’s why it’s got a divider. He’s a gentleman anyway, so it doesn’t matter, I’m sure. Starlo will be in shortly to do some makeup tests, and then once Epel gets here, we’ll go over the script and the visions we have, and then that’s all for today. I’m so excited to work with you guys. Oh! That’s right! We were gonna go to that traditional Scalding Sands place after we’re done here. I don’t have your contacts, but if you wanted to come along, that would be amazing. You seem so sweet.”

You’re legitimately unsure how to respond to any of that. She also seems very sweet, and you really don’t want to get stuck in a coffee shop with Epel afterwards. Unfortunately, as she was speaking, the devil himself showed up. You didn’t notice him at first, but you felt your skin crawl when he did. He's got his silky lavender hair pulled off of his shoulders in a little tail at the nape of his neck. You open your mouth to say that you’d love to get shawarma with this motley crew, but he beats you to it.

His pretty blue eyes never leave yours, “Oh, you’re just a peach for offering, but we’ve already got plans.”

Belle spins around to face him, screams, and swoons. You manage to stumble forward and catch her, and Epel’s smile drops as he slinks across the room, spins one of the crappy foldable chairs around, and plops himself into it, elegantly resting his ankle on his knee. For all of two minutes, he just stares at you as you lay Belle down, stuffing some fabrics under her feet, and fanning her face. 

When Belle comes to, his smile is back. She jumps to her feet and begins fawning over him, shaking his hand just as excitedly.

“Hi! I’m Belle! Oh, my god, you’re even prettier in person, and ooh, you smell so nice too.”

Epel laughs, but it doesn’t hit your ears right. Belle eats it up and you glance at the door. She’s got him distracted. It would be so easy just to leave, to feign an illness and walk to the nearest cornerstore so you could call a taxi or a rideshare.

You’re not lucky, though, as Starlo strolls in just as you’re about to go for the door, “Belle, what the hell are you doing? Argon and Pepper are waiting for you.”

She literally squeaks like a mouse and waves a quick goodbye. Starlo grabs you by the arm and deposits you in the other foldable metal chair, clearing his throat repeatedly as he pulls over a stool and drags out an industrial size makeup kit. 

The first makeup that he swatches both tingles and is way too light a color for your skin tone. You blink rapidly, unsure if you should say anything.

“You gonna get the same thing you always do?” Epel asks.

“What?” You turn your head to look at him.

He’s wearing a patient expression, but like always, it feels artificial. “From that bagel place.”

“Uh… I-I’m sorry?”

“I know you didn’t forget. I’m taking you to brunch after all this.”

“Uh… haha, yeah.” You don’t know what you always get from the bagel place.

Starlo daubs something else on your arm. It’s cold, but it looks really pretty on your skin.

The “you” that everyone has been expecting sounds like an outspoken, opinionated person who was consistently late or absent from various responsibilities, and if your new mom is anything to go by, neglecting their own health. You almost wish you had a bit more to go off so you could start acting like this you, but you’re not too keen on speaking your mind with people you don’t know. Your entire life has been hit with a cosmic “reset from most recent save” button, and if you dare to mention it to anyone, you’re in for a whole new set of problems.

Whatever Starlo just put on your arm burns. You yelp and jerk away, and he grabs your wrist. You think it’s instinctive, but his grip is nothing to sneeze at.

“What’s the matter?” Starlo asks.

“I- You’re crushing my wrist.” You mumble, “And I don’t know what that last one was, but it burned.”

“It burned?” He pulls out a bottle of the wrong shade of foundation and looks at it, “Huh. No wonder. Damn thing is expired.”

“Why are you even using that one?” Epel asks. Although his tone sounds innocent, the question is outright confrontational, “It’s way too dark.”

“Are you the makeup artist here, son?” Starlo shoots back.

“I usually do my own makeup. I know it’s not the same, but anyone with eyes can see that you’re going about your business the wrong way.”

You keep your lips sealed. What are you even supposed to say here? Other than that last product, he’s been fine. His hand on your wrist feels crushingly uncomfortable, of course, but he’s not doing any of this on purpose. You skimmed the script, but you’re not really sure what the story is about. It’s all of your jobs to try to make it come together, and if that means that you’re going to be wearing a foundation two shades too dark for you, then perhaps that’s what art is. As you were thinking, Starlo let go of your wrist in favor of getting in Epel’s face. 

“-no two-bit, fucking stuck up little prick like you is gonna tell me how to do my damn job. You understand?”

Epel is smiling sweetly even as the older man’s spittle is spraying him in the face. He stands up, and Starlo steps back, as though expecting Epel to start swinging. Instead, he walks over to you, grabs your hand ever so delicately. The contact makes your skin crawl as he yanks you to your feet.

“You should apologize before the two of us walk off set right now.” He said, still smiling.

You can’t just walk off set. You don’t think you can, at least. Your agent was so excited for the positive PR this would create, and this is genuinely not a big deal, “Wait-”

Starlo’s eyes narrow, and it hits you that maybe he sees what you see when you look at Epel. A two-faced creature masquerading as a man. You’ve seen one of his sides clearly, but you’re certain you haven’t seen all of the other one, even when he called you on Thursday. It’s like seeing someone standing at the end of a hallway with their back to you: the sight is enough to give you chills, but you aren’t able to see the knife that the person is holding in front of them. That sort of thing. You’re aware of the danger, but can’t comprehend the depth of it.

Despite all, Starlo acquiesces, showing his palms and shaking his head, “Yeah, I’m sorry. Doctor says I gotta work on my temper.”

“You do.” Epel responds flatly, releasing your hand and reclaiming his seat.

The rest of the test is short. Starlo is pretty competent, and he makes it quick and sweet.

That seems to be the theme for the rest of the day. Starlo remains in the trailer to dispose of a few expired things and note down what you had reactions to, while you and Epel meet up with Belle, Argon, and Pepper to talk about the short film.

It’s going to be a story of lovers, unfortunately, but you get to play the part of the dead one. The story goes that your and Epel’s characters came out here to camp, but you froze to death in the night. Epel returns to the campsite every year in your memory, and you return from the land of the dead in his. On the night shown in the film, you finally bump into each other, and through the emotional reunion, you spend one final night camping together.

Epel smiles and nods along with what the three film students say, all too eager to whisk you away as soon as the first shooting date is scheduled and you have an extra copy of the script in your sweaty hands. 

He drags you towards a very cute little compact car in candy apple red and opens the door for you. You don’t want to get in, but you also don’t want to call Devin. You take a seat and he closes the door. As you’re buckling up, he gets in the driver and starts the car, just sitting there for a second before he buckles and backs out of the lot, his arm on the back of your seat.

You look out the window and Epel grunts, his voice no longer sweet and charming and fake, “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

You turn your head sharply, “What?”

He sighs, drumming his fingers on the wheel as he blinks. You wonder if he’ll leave it at that until later, and then he says, “You’ve been acting real weird. You been talking to someone?”

“What are you talking about?”

He narrows his eyes in a glance at you, and then he swerves the car in a wrong turn. “I think you know. People don’t change overnight. Where were you that week no one could get ahold of you?”

“I was… in my apartment?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. You’re in the city by now, the sun reflecting off of the skyscrapers’ windows in an aggressive manner, “And over the course of that week you decided you didn’t like being a bitch no more?”

“I don’t-”

“Every time I saw you, for years, it was the same thing.” He turns again, going in a circle around the block, “Same shit. Every day. Making fun of my upbringing, like I didn’t know you barely had one, calling me everything out of my name, and now suddenly you’re…”

His voice trails off. You contemplate throwing the door on your side open and jumping out of the car. You absolutely do not need this. You’re already stressed out.

“Well… suppose I shouldn’t complain. I do like you better this way.” He mutters. “But way back when, when you pulled shit like this, it was because you were plotting something. That your game now? You-”

“I… I’m sorry for being so mean to you in the past.” You’re not apologizing for anything you did, but you’re grasping aimlessly trying to de-escalate this one-sided conversation. He’s driving. If you don’t do something, he could decide to swerve off the road and kill you both, “There was no reason for it.”

He’s silent for a moment, and then he says, “That… means a lot. I already forgave you. Told myself I wouldn’t quit trying to be friends. Guess it paid off, huh? I’m sorry for getting angry when we talked, Thursday before last.”

You don’t like that at all. It sort of feels like he’s not saying everything, like you should know what he’s talking about. You don’t. You weren’t living in this body Thursday before last. You nod and look out the window, “Uh… I appreciate it.”

You don’t actually care, but you’re a good actor. You’ve already decided that you’re going to just go along with Epel’s brunch and then you’re going to pretend he doesn’t exist outside of work. Frankly you’re unsure why the person who used to live in this body had his number or interacted with him for years, evidently.

Epel parks and you have a minor crisis as you try to figure out what you typically get from this bagel shop. It doesn’t matter anyway, since he orders you a large caramel iced coffee and a blueberry bagel with cream cheese. That’s such a basic order, but it’s simple enough to be good. You sit quietly and eat, not interested in making conversation.

Epel clears his throat. He’s quiet, but he’s talking in that schooled version of his voice again, “You ever hear back from that breeder?”

“Uh… the what?” You narrow your eyes.

Epel is leaning on his hand, a sweet little smile on his lips as he looks at you. Seven, you want him to look away, “The sphynx cats. You said you sent them an email a while ago during that meeting we had with Mirelle after our big public argument.”

“Oh. I haven’t checked.” You didn’t know you should have. You take a sip of the iced coffee and look out the window.

Epel hums and a stranger walks over, grinning, “Oh my goodness! It’s actually you! Can I have your autograph, Mr. Felmier?”

“Oh, just Epel is fine. Sure!” He’s all smiles as he interacts with the fan, but as soon as they’re gone, his face falls and he nudges your hand, “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

“O-oh, no, that’s alright-”

“You want to make another big scene?”

You force a smile and grab your iced coffee, following after Epel. He nudges your hand with his own, but you pull your hand away, covering it up with adjusting your clothes and holding your nearly empty coffee cup with both hands. Your hands are slick with more than just condensation.

You’re all too aware of your surroundings, especially the way that he somehow knows the key code to the door of your apartment building to get you in without a fob. You pause in the lobby.

“Thanks so much for walking me back, Epel. See you tomorrow.” You smile and turn to walk towards the stairs.

Epel grabs the back of your shirt and tugs you back a bit. You stumble against him and he frowns at you.

His expression should tug at your heartstrings, and yet… “You’re not gonna invite me up?”

This poses a dilemma. There are a few people watching this interaction. You can’t afford to make any type of scene, but you absolutely do not want to be alone with him. While you don’t know him well, your body does. Something also tells you that he’s a bit of a danger to be around in general. Call it a gut instinct.

“Uh… Well, maybe you could walk me to my door?” You have no intention of letting him in your apartment.

His eyes narrow ever so slightly, but he smiles regardless, and loops his hand through your sweaty one, strolling confidently towards the stairs.

About as soon as he lets go of your hand to ascend the stairs, you bolt up the stairs, your palms slapping against the dirty concrete to keep you from bashing your face. You’re glad you didn’t wear pumps today as you get to the third floor, careening down the hallway and fumbling your keys as you shakily unlock the door. You lock it behind you, slumping to the floor.

Tomorrow is gonna suck absolute ass for you.

[novorehere]

Famished First-Time

Hello friends! This is an especially special post that I am very excited about, because the story you’re about to read was not written by myself. A friend who would like to remain anonymous submitted this amazing story to me and wanted me to post it to my blog for you all to enjoy. While they don’t have their own vore blog, I hope you can all enjoy and give them some praise and feedback! Words cannot describe how much I ADORE it, and I think you all will too no matter if you’re familiar with Obey Me or not <3 

Enjoy!

_____________

“Thank you!” Yuki, the lovely young cashier, smiled sweetly as Rayfa plunked down the appropriate amount of Grimm—plus a generous tip—onto the counter. “Come again!”

“You know I will!” Rayfa laughed, and the demon chick behind the counter laughed too. They had become fast friends—what with Rayfa being a proud regular and all—and Yuki knew she’d be back again within the week.

It always started with an unrelated shopping trip. An excursion to buy some nail polish and ribbons for her next sleepover with Asmo. Or perhaps an errand to pick up the newest video game Levi had pre-ordered, for he was too anxious to go out himself. Regardless of where her ventures began, they always ended back at the bakery—where she could purchase a little something for Beel. It hardly cost her anything (mostly because Yuki gave her legendary discounts) and Beel always got so adorably excited when she came home with dessert, so of course Rayfa had made it into a habit. It was such an easy way to put a smile on his face! How could she not?

“I’m already looking forward to it!” Yuki beamed. “See you next week, hun!”

“See you then!”

Rayfa carefully lifted the hefty white cake box into her hands, then began her leisurely walk back to the House of Lamentation, the soft chimes of the bakery’s doorbell twinkling faintly behind her. It was a lovely night outside, pleasantly warm but with the welcome caveat of a gentle breeze. It was the kind of evening that Rayfa liked to spend admiring the beauty of the Devildom, but something about this particular night was making her uneasy. She felt like she was being watched—nay, hunted. Instinctively, she quickened her pace, trying not to think about it. It was surely just her imagination.

Rayfa was maybe two blocks away from salvation—the HoL—when disaster finally struck. Out of nowhere, Rayfa felt burly/muscular arms wrap uncomfortably tightly around her waist. She readied herself to scream, but a freakishly large hand—with claws—clamped down over her mouth. She fought and kicked as violently as she could, but humans were no match for demons, and her attackers callously dragged her into the nearest alleyway.

Once they were far enough back not to be spotted from the sidewalk, Demon #1 forced her up against the wall and spat out an impatient order.

“I’m going to remove my hand now. Scream, and we’ll make things far messier than they need to be. You understand?”

Rayfa, shaking with fear, nodded frantically. Devildom nights were darker than black, and the streets had been relatively barren earlier, anyway. Rayfa doubted that anyone would come running even if she did scream. The clawed hand was removed, and Rayfa gasped for breath. It wasn’t that she couldn’t breathe before; She was just relieved to get that grimy hand away from her face.

“It’s not every day you see a human ’round these parts…” Demon #1 chuckled darkly.

Rayfa spied two more demons over his shoulder. So there were three of these fuckers, then.

Demon #1 stepped forward to grab her chin—to force her to look at him—which Rayfa desperately wanted to resist. Her self-preservation instincts told her to keep quiet though, and frustratedly, she obeyed.

…Until the dirtbag harassing her stepped purposefully on top of the cake box that had fallen from her grasp during the scuffle.

“That was for my friend…!” Rayfa growled angrily, surprising even herself with how upset she had gotten on Beel’s behalf—especially when her own current predicament was so much worse.

“Yeah, well-” Demon #1 scoffed and cruelly kicked the cake box aside. He stepped closer—again—and made a very deliberate show of licking his lips. “Your friend’s not the only one who needs to eat.”

Rayfa went pale. This guy was actually Oberon levels of creepy. (Levi would have been so proud of Rayfa for that SAO reference.)

“Wait! You-! You can’t eat me!” Rayfa squeaked. “I’m, like, the face of the exchange program! You could ruin relations between the three realms forever!”

“Tch. Like we care about that!” Demon #2 mocked boisterously. “We never wanted to make friends with those stuck-up celestials in the first place!”

“And humans, of course, are just snacks!” Demon #1 tacked on gleefully. “Who gives a fuck if Diavolo’s little exchange program falls through?”

Rayfa gritted her teeth. She wanted to argue more, but they had clearly already made up their minds. She was so royally screwed.

Demon #3, who had been relatively silent throughout the whole exchange, suddenly stepped closer. He was easily the largest of the three degenerate demons; Rayfa had to tilt her head almost all the way back just to meet his eyes. Intimidating. Demon #3 stared her down with the ferocity of a lion. Then he began to speak—quietly yet gruffly—the words foreign and unrecognizable. Suddenly, realization dawned on her. He was reciting a hex.

But by the time Rayfa realized, it was already too late. Her body shrank rapidly and she dizzily watched the world around her grow larger and larger and larger—until finally, she was left untouched at 2-3 inches tall. Things were not looking good for her. But! At such a small size, they couldn’t possibly clamp a hand down over her mouth again! Right?

Desperately, Rayfa began to recite the one phrase she prayed could get her out of this mess:

“Hear me, denizens of the darkness, you who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it! Hear me and do as I command!”

“Stop her!” Demon #1 roared furiously, and Demon #3 (the nearest) made a desperate grab for her. Rayfa just barely managed to scramble out of the way before he could get his grubby hands on her, silently cursing the fact that the summoning incantation was so ungodly long. Nevertheless, she was determined to see it through.

“I, Rayfa, call upon you to send forth one of your number! I summon the Avatar of- HnghGruh!”

Though he had failed to grab her, Demon #3 was still determined to shut her up. He backhanded her—hard—which was enough to garble her words and send her flying backwards across the pavement. Rayfa winced at the scrapes she received. They were gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow, assuming she lived to see it.

Interrupted as she may have been, though, the spell—blessedly—had still gone through. There was a blinding flash of golden light, and then there, standing before her, was none other than…

Mammon, the Avatar of Greed.

Huh.

Rayfa had (admittedly) been hoping for Lucifer, but whatever panicked sound she’d made upon being swatted away had apparently sounded more like the word greed than the word pride. Honestly though, Rayfa was just relieved to see a familiar face.

…As endearingly incompetent as that familiar face could sometimes be.

Mammon stumbled around dazedly for a moment, and Rayfa felt guilty knowing that her poor casting of the spell was likely to blame. Quickly, she shook her head to clear her mind. Guilt could come later; Right now was her chance to escape!

Even though Mammon had not immediately chased off the three depraved demons, his unexpected appearance alone was more than enough of a distraction for Rayfa to work with. At the very least, she no longer felt quite as cornered as before. Demon #1, Demon #2, and Demon #3 were focused entirely on Mammon now, and that gave her the perfect opportunity to disappear. A full-sized demon was a much greater threat than a tiny human girl, after all! Rayfa instantly began scheming. Maybe she could subtly sneak away now, text Lucifer or Satan to come pick her up, and apologize to Mammon for using him as an escape later. He would fake like he was annoyed by it, she was sure, but there was no way these demons would actually be able to hurt him—not like they would hurt her—and Mammon would recognize that too. He’d just be relieved that he’d protected her, even if unknowingly at first.

Rayfa was just about to make her move, ready to dart out of the shady alleyway, but right before she took the first step, dark blue eyes swirled with gold locked onto her.

“Rayfa?!” Mammon spluttered out with confusion, as the last of the vertigo from her botched summoning spell finally wore off.

It took a good few seconds for Mammon to realize exactly what was happening, but eventually things did click for him, and the Avatar of Greed whirled on the lesser demons indignantly. Unfortunately for him, Demon #1 and his lackeys had finally recovered from the shock of their surprise visitor and were eager to make him pay.

“Oh shit!” Mammon swore, lightning-fast reflexes kicking into gear as he ducked to avoid a punch.

Demon #2 quickly lunged after him, but Mammon—surprisingly tactfully—sidestepped that, too. Levi really hadn’t been kidding when he’d said that Mammon was “Fast as fuck, boi!” Seriously! He moved so quickly that Rayfa could scarcely make out a blur! Mammon deftly avoided several more attacks, then glanced around with wild eyes, searching for an out. When he found one—as he always did—his body moved before his brain could catch up. Rayfa supposed she shouldn’t hold his recklessness against him though. It was what she was currently banking on to save her life.

When Mammon finally threw a punch of his own, the attack was surprisingly calculated. His fist connected squarely with the jaw of the head honcho—Demon #1—and Mammon capitalized on that fact. All he had needed was an opening, which he’d succeeded in creating for himself when Demon #1 had stumbled backwards from the force of the blow. He quickly darted past the now capsized enemy, taking advantage of the clever little “escape route” that was open. And then…

Mammon just fucking ran for it, gravel flying as he skidded past the remaining two lackeys and began sprinting directly towards poor terrified Rayfa. He didn’t slow down as he neared her. In fact, Rayfa swore he sped up! She squeezed her eyes shut as Mammon barreled forward at breakneck speeds, leaning down at just the right moment to scoop her up as he careened away from the alley. Rayfa let out a squeak of alarm as she felt Mammon’s fingers curl around her, but she relaxed somewhat when she realized that he had actually taken great care to hold her securely (but not so tightly that she’d be uncomfortably squeezed).

And then, just like that, they were gone.

Rayfa hadn’t expected anything less from him. If there was one thing Mammon was great at, it was running away. (Usually from debt collectors or angry brothers, but the logic applied here too.)

“Oh shit! Oh fuck!” Mammon panicked, footsteps pounding heavily on the sidewalk. “I really don’t wanna die!”

Despite herself, Rayfa felt a smile playing on her lips. Even when Mammon actually managed to pull off something pretty damn cool, he was still an endearingly panicky mess. But Rayfa wouldn’t have him any other way.

A few tense minutes of running later, Mammon veered off into another alleyway further down the street, panting heavily. Quick as he was, he obviously didn’t have the stamina to go on running forever. He needed a breather, but Rayfa didn’t think they could afford to take one.

The demon muttered something frustratedly under his breath. Rayfa couldn’t quite catch the words, but she could only imagine he was cursing out their pursuers. Which was totally understandable—they very much deserved it—but what Rayfa couldn’t understand was why he had stopped to do so. Tired or not, they had to get home!

“Mammon?” Rayfa questioned nervously, gently prying his fingers apart to sneak a worried peek up at the demon. He held her level with his heart, hands cupped carefully around her, blue-gold eyes gazing down upon her worriedly. Had they not been dangerously preoccupied, Rayfa would’ve melted at how concerned he looked over her.

“I’m not gonna let ‘em have ya,” Mammon growled protectively. “You’re my human, ya hear?”

Mammon had always been relatively exceedingly protective of her, but Rayfa had never really minded. She thought the whole “keep you all to myself” thing was sweet, even, albeit in a very Mammon sort of way. But something about the way he was staring at her now…

For the first time since they’d met, Rayfa felt inherently nervous under the Avatar of Greed’s gaze.

“Uhhh, are you-” Rayfa started to say, but the demon’s hands suddenly lurched beneath her, causing her to yelp with surprise rather than finish her thought. “Aaa!”

Mammon determinedly brought her to eye-level, an uncharacteristically serious expression etched across handsome features.

“What are you doing?!” Rayfa nervously demanded, the demon’s sudden solemnity eating away at her. Mammon was never sober like this. To make matters worse, Rayfa could hear the angry shouts of the demons they’d run away from. Those fuckers were finally starting to catch up.

It seemed that Mammon had heard them too, their voices being what finally spurred him on to do the unthinkable.

“S-Sorry ‘bout this!”

Mammon rarely ever apologized, which only solidified Rayfa’s right to fear whatever was coming. She had a really really really bad feeling about this.

Mammon, looking just as nervous as Rayfa felt, awkwardly guided the brave little human towards his lips. He gulped nervously, then opened wide with an automatic “ahhh”, and realization came crashing down onto the girl like a tidal wave. Rayfa screamed and tried to scramble backwards, but Mammon quickly threw his head back and fervently crammed her in.

It was almost absurd how quickly the demon’s mouth flooded with drool. Rayfa whined with disgust as warm gooey saliva oozed over her, bubbling up and seeping through her clothes. Mammon cautiously brought his teeth back together, sealing her away inside, then began eagerly slurping down her staple human flavors. Rayfa felt herself blush, angry and embarrassed that Mammon was spending such an exorbitant amount of time tasting her.

“Mammon!” Rayfa seethed, practically shaking with rage. “What the fuck!”

She was exhausted and disgruntled and grossed out, but begrudgingly, she decided to put up with whatever episode Mammon was having right now because she trusted him. For all she knew, demon spit could reverse hexes cast on humans or something! Right, yeah. Mammon probably had a plan. She just needed to play along and-

*Glk!*

Mammon gulped thickly, and Rayfa suddenly felt the clench of tight/squishy muscle around her as she was sucked down into the boy’s throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath, being worked deeper and deeper with every purposeful swallow. Mammon had been quick to stuff her into his mouth, but now that she was safely out of sight, Rayfa noticed, he was taking his sweet time getting her down. Slow, languid gulps. Pleasured hums vibrating around her. Fingers gingerly pressed against the throat, presumably to feel her fight back as he swallowed. Rayfa grimaced as she slowly squelched down his greedy gullet, squirming violently as the unyielding flesh easily suctioned her down.

“Stop enjoying this…!” Rayfa growled disgustedly. “Bastard…!”

Within the minute, Mammon finished swallowing her down, letting out a relieved and breathy sigh. Rayfa, meanwhile, gasped out as the tight, hot, unyielding throat finally gave way to a much roomier space. Fleshy and vulnerable, the squishy pink walls shifted easily around her as Rayfa scrambled to reorient herself. A noisy gurgle stretched on, echoing around the darkness. She had finally reached his stomach.

“…hububhhuhuhh…” Mammon babbled through what sounded like a very drooly mouthful.

“Mammon! Are you kidding me right now?!” Rayfa screamed, raging annoyance briefly overtaking her fear.

“…tha’ feelsh…” Mammon moaned out. “…so fuckin’ guhd…”

Rayfa shuddered at how the stomach lurched as Mammon stumbled almost-drunkenly backwards, then slumped against the grimy brick walls, slowly sliding down and lowering himself to the ground.

“Urghhh!” Rayfa groaned, utterly exasperated. “You! Are! The! Absolute! Worst!”

Every word was punctuated with an annoyed punch to the stomach walls. She only really succeeded in getting her fist all sticky/slimy with stomach ooze though; Manmon appeared entirely unaffected.

Rayfa surely would have chewed him out even more had she not been interrupted by a sickeningly familiar voice. Even though she was tucked away out of sight, she still shivered just hearing it. They had finally caught up.

“What did you do with the girl?!” Demon #1 demanded furiously.

“I, uh…” Mammon slurred. He had barely even begun to answer when his digestive system suddenly did the work for him, a deep and contented burp rolling up his throat. “Mrph. ‘Scuse me.”

It didn’t take much for Demon #1 and his lackeys to put two and two together after that.

“Bastard! She was supposed to be my lunch!” Demon #1 roared. “Get him!”

Rayfa hated that her heart leapt at the thought of Mammon getting caught up in trouble. Especially on her behalf. She was supposed to be angry at him—he had fucking eaten her—but much to her annoyance and embarrassment, she couldn’t shake the worry from her heart. She’d grown to care too much.

“Mammon, please! Get it together!” Rayfa urged, cursing herself for encouraging the man who had gulped her down like nothing more than an afternoon snack. But she couldn’t just sit idly by!

Mammon stayed seated, but Rayfa felt the stomach shift as he at least sat up straight. She felt a sudden surge of power flow through and around her, too. And when Mammon next spoke, his voice was unrecognizable.

“BaCK oFF,” Mammon snarled like a rabid dog, sounding like an actual demon for the first time since Rayfa had met him. “Or I’LL eaT yOU foR desSERT!”

Rayfa was pretty sure that Mammon only had a hankering for humans—not for other demons—but the threat worked all the same. Mammon almost never lost control, which made the few times he actually did downright terrifying. Rayfa could only imagine the looks of horror on her attackers’ faces as they trembled at the sight of the second son’s true form.

“Shit! I didn’t realize he was one of the seven Avatars-!”

“Okay, okay! You can keep the human! Just-!” An honest-to-god whimper. “Please don’t hurt us!”

“Quick! Let’s get out of here!”

Noises from the “outside world” (with the exception of voices) had proven too muffled to hear from within the confines of the demon boy’s gut, but Rayfa imagined that if she had been out there with him, she would’ve heard a stampede of receding footsteps. Her suspicions were further supported when she felt the energy needed to maintain his true form slowly fade away. Mammon let out a thoroughly contented puff of breath and relaxed back against the wall again, too. Demon form now totally dispelled. And then, in a move Rayfa never would’ve expected, Mammon began rubbing his belly appreciatively—she could feel the gentle weight on the other side of the “wall”. For a hopeful but fleeting moment, Rayfa almost believed he cared. But no! He had eaten her!

Rayfa tried desperately to work out why Mammon had done this. Had he decided that, if she was going to end up “demon food” anyway, it may as well be his belly she was filling? A memory from long ago suddenly sprung to the forefront of her mind:

“The next time your life’s in danger, I’m gonna be the one to save you, all right? Don’t you forget that.”

“…And if I can’t manage to save ya, then make sure you die, got it?!”

Rayfa felt tears prickling at her eyes. So that was it then. Mammon had decided that if he couldn’t protect her, the least he could do was take her out himself.

Rayfa shuddered as the stomach gurgled loudly. It’d been relentlessly noisy—groaning and churning around her—for the entire duration of her “stay”. She felt drowned out, unsure whether or not Mammon could even hear her, but Rayfa had never been the type to give up.

“Mammon! They- They’re gone now, right? So then let me out!”

“…fiyve mr…minuhhs…” Mammon mumbled out, words slurred and utterly unintelligible.

Rayfa groaned.

Why are you like this?

Praying that Mammon could hear her—she still wasn’t totally sure her words would reach him from down there—Rayfa did the only thing she could think left to do. She called upon the power of the pact.

“MAMMON!!!” Rayfa roared at the top of her lungs, fingers crossed that he could actually hear her so that the pact would work. “SPIT! ME! OUT!”

Rayfa guessed her words must’ve gotten through to him, because just like that, the demon’s body began to obey. The stomach lurched, and Mammon began making throaty/guttural choking noises like he was dry-heaving. Rayfa felt herself being tugged back towards the esophagus—This was her way out!—but the gagging sounds poor Mammon was making were rapidly becoming unbearable. Rayfa was genuinely beginning to worry that she’d accidentally commanded him to choke himself.

“Hrrk, rggh, hrghk-!”

“Okay, okay! Stop! Don’t hurt yourself!”

Rayfa cursed her own lack of resolve. She was going to die here now. As nothing more than “demon food”—like Mammon always teased. All because she couldn’t bring herself to hurt the lovable dumbass who’d eaten her.

Her surroundings shook turbulently for another few seconds as coughs wracked Mammon’s body. He wasn’t choking anymore, thank god, but he was very clearly gasping for breath. Rayfa felt terribly guilty for putting him through that. When Mammon had finally cleared his throat, he muttered out an unabashedly annoyed:

“Ya know, it’d be a lot easier on the botha us if ya lemme cough you up myself.”

“You-!” Rayfa brightened at finally being addressed, tears of relief blurring her vision. “You were really going to let me out?”

“Well, duh.” Mammon shrugged, and Rayfa slid as the walls shifted around her. “If I wanted ya dead, I woulda let those lesser demons have ya.”

“But-! But you-!”

“Didn’t ya hear the protection spell?” Mammon grumbled, clearing his throat again. Apparently, some lingering discomfort remained. Rayfa winced sympathetically. She really hadn’t meant to hurt him. “I cast one on ya right before I swallowed ya down.”

Ah. So that’s what he had been doing when she saw him “cursing out” the demons chasing them. Apparently, that flustered muttering had been a protection spell.

“Okay, fine! But why didn’t you answer me?!” Rayfa demanded shakily. “I was seriously freaking out, Mammon!”

“I, uh…” And the regret was practically tangible. He sounded immeasurably guilty. “’M sorry.” He finally settled on. “I didn’t mean to get buzzed like that.”

Yeah, Rayfa had figured that much out. She didn’t say so, though. Instead, she stayed patiently quiet, giving him room to elaborate.

“Humans really are a delicacy for us, ya know? And havin’ one alive and kickin’ in my belly…” Mammon mumbled embarrassedly. “…kinda fried my brain.”

Yeah, that checked out. Rayfa hummed in acknowledgement.

“Didn’t mean to give ya a heart attack though…” Mammon continued after a beat. “I really am sorry ‘bout that, Rayfa.”

He sounded so beyond apologetic that Rayfa couldn’t help but want to reach out to him. In moments like these—rare as they were—Rayfa would usually give him a hug. But obviously, that couldn’t quite be done…

Almost reflexively, Rayfa reached out with both hands, palms splayed against the squishy stomach walls. She gave a reassuring little shove—like a playful nudge to the shoulder—then slowly began rubbing soothing little circles into the flesh. Mammon shivered with delight at her touch; Rayfa could feel the stomach tremble with pleasure. Despite herself, she let out a little laugh.

“That good, huh?” Rayfa teased. The playful banter almost made her feel like they were chilling out on the couch together. Almost made her forget where she really was.

“Sh-Shaddup!”

Rayfa just knew he was blushing like crazy.

“I guess I should probably thank you for saving me,” Rayfa sighed wistfully. “Albeit through very unconventional means.”

Mammon huffed proudly. “You’re welcome! You should know by now never to doubt the Great Mammon!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rayfa waved away the egotistical comment. “Can the ‘Great Mammon’ cough me up already? It’s super gross down here.”

“Uh.” Mammon froze, and Rayfa could feel the stomach tense up nervously around her. “Just lemme getcha back to the dorms first. You’ve got a penchant for trouble and I don’t wantcha runnin’ into any more of it.”

Excuse me?! You think I’m the one with the penchant for trouble?!

It took Rayfa a moment to realize that Mammon didn’t actually think her a trouble-magnet. He just wanted an excuse to hold onto her for a little longer. Because he was enjoying it.

Rayfa sighed heavily. She knew she was going to regret this: “Yeah, okay. But you’d better let me out the second we get home.”

“Yeah, ‘course! Sure thing.”

Rayfa laughed and shook her head. Now that Mammon had gotten a taste, Rayfa had the distinct feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time she found herself playing the role of “dinner”.

But curiously enough, Rayfa also found that maybe she didn’t totally mind. ❤️

[patchwork-oil]

❧ "Blue Hour”

Chapter 1/?

Pairing: Karkat/Reader (Gender Neutral) Word count: 2,101 Warnings: strong language

Summary: You and your roommate Karkat have a somewhat typical Friday night.

Author’s Note: First x reader I'm posting! Kinda excited :3 dunno if I'll continue this but it was fun to make regardless. I know x readers don't tend to be in first person, but it's my favorite way to read them so :,) you're stuck with that.... The whole theme of my writing is that it's hugely self-indulgent. since like. the homestuck x reader tag is super dead askhjfd

   It’s blue hour isn’t it? I can hardly tell if there are clouds in the sky right now. Looking up between the buildings feels as though I might be about to fall into a deep, dark pool. The street below looks like it’s underwater, the lights from all buildings nearby look… tired? Like I’m looking back at the past through an old, sad movie.

  The front door jingles and opens. 

   Oh, Karkat’s home. What the hell was I doing just now?

   I could have sworn I was doing… something on my laptop. Oh, right. Just watching some YouTube. But, I paused it? To look at the clouds? I’m really out of it right now, I guess. 

   Unconsciously I shake the distraction out of my head. It hasn’t been that long since I got back from my job at the grocery store, I must have spaced out trying to relax to some videos. Whatever, there are much more important things to think about at a time like now. 

   “Karkaaat-” I announce once I open the door to the living room, drawing out his name as long as I could.

   “Fucking hell! What!” He grouched something about just getting back home, a single moment of peace would be nice. He hides his startled jump by trying to put his coat on the rack by the door. 

   “You said you’re cooking tonight,“ I accuse, “and I have never been more in the mood for chicken than I am in this moment right now.” I point a finger at him like I’m in a courtroom and my last name is Wright.

   Karkat makes a look like some sort of wince. “Uh huh. And I’m the unfortunate slob who has to do something about that.” It was almost phrased like a question. He exaggerates every move as he closes the door and steps inside. 

   “You are!” I nod “When you lost the chess match with John yesterday, you also made your roommate look like a loser, remember?”

   “Yes, I get it, I get it. You’re annoying and I have to pay for it.”

   “I’m just saying we both know John is going to ridicule me for even thinking about supporting you at the tournament so you should be the one who has to pay the medical bill for the… embarrassment. In the form of food. Tonight. As dinner…” He looks up at me from taking off his shoes, not amused and highly confused. “I’m losing my train of thought. You said you’d make dinner anyway! Why am I trying to convince you?”

   “I didn’t even say anything,” he chuckles, “that was 100% you.” 

   “I picked up chicken and broccoli from the store today!” As I walked past him to the fridge, I hit him on the arm. 

   “Fucker,” he spits.

   “And I’ll do the dishes like usual.” Placing the chicken on the counter, I reach for the broccoli-

   “Just sit your ass down! If I have to deal with your sniveling prongs making a mess all over the meal block, (Name), I swear to God we are not having a repeat of pasta night.” He starts to make big shooing gestures, ushering me out.

   “You really suffocate my creative spirit, KK,” I playfully sigh, knowing full well I shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen with my track record of spilling anything that can be spilled. Sometimes even things that can’t be spilled. 

   “Last time I checked, we don’t need ‘creativity’ over an open flame.” 

   “You may be right.” I giggle. “Thanks for cooking though.” 

   He mumbles some affirmation and gets to work. My gaze lingers on his back for just a moment before going back to my room to grab my Switch. I’ll always feel guilty about not helping out but I know that even if I were more graceful in the kitchen, he prefers to have control over everything. I will, however, be within earshot if he needs an extra hand. Starting up something casual on the Switch, I plop down onto the couch. 

   Maybe there was something in those clouds today. I can’t stay focused on one thing for too long. I’ve abandoned the game, still holding it my hands while its quiet soundtrack plays. Every time Karkat uttered a curse over the food, I caught myself looking up, watching him for a while, then looking away. 

   We’d been roommates for ages now, since the last year of college. We quickly clicked, which was super fortunate for me. There was no way I wanted to live on my own after school, and as luck would have it, he wasn’t opposed to staying as roommates either. He, for the most part, enjoys cooking, I clean the dishes since he says he hates doing that, he doesn’t mind to remind me when I forget to do a chore around the house, and I’m not bothered by how he gets loud on calls with his friends. It’s such a ruminating day today…

   “Hello? Do you have slime in your hear ducts?”

   Eh? Ruminating over. 

   “Earth to (name).” 

   “I’m here! I’m awake,” I jostle suddenly.

   Karkat just started putting everything on the table—the nice one we worked together to buy so we had somewhere to play his tabletop games. Though, it also takes up the majority of the small apartment. 

   “Sure you are. You weren’t even looking at the game, you looked like you were undressing the meal vault with your mind.” 

   A surprised laugh escapes from me as I get off the couch. 

   “Food’s ready.” 

   “Yay! Thank you again, it smells really really good.” 

   “Mhm.”

   We squeeze into the chairs and dig in, it tastes just as good as it smells. I’m honestly pretty lucky Karkat is cool with cooking for me. We used to eat in our rooms, both because of the lack of a table but also because we both preferred eating alone. It’s likely we’re only eating here to get our money’s worth, but there’s still something satisfying about a warm homemade meal over a nice table. 

   “Kar?” 

   He only looks up in response, food’s probably keeping him from his usual yelling. 

   “I got a new game if you want to play with me tonight,” I swallow and continue, “since it’s Friday and whatever.”

   He sighs loudly once he’s done chewing. 

   “Cooking for you and entertaining your screen addiction? Seriously, (Last Name), have I been put on this planet, cursed by the twisted gods who hide their sorry asses among the stars where they know my mortal wrath can’t reach, to be the player 2 at your beck and call?” Despite his long-windedness, his voice is softer than usual, making me smile before I even process what he said–a good sign he’s totally up for a game. 

   I perk up, “It’s called Heave Ho, I’ve watched other people play it so I got it myself. I think you’ll really like it.” 

   “If it wasn’t Saturday tomorrow I wouldn’t even think about it.” 

   “Yay!” I kick him under the table and he kicks me back just as hard. “This is super fuckin’ good by the way, I’d eat this every night.”

   “I only followed a recipe, you don’t have to slobber all over my bulge about it.” 

   “Gross, in front of my chicken?” 

_________________

   “Could you! Fucking! Hold on for one second! Do you think you’re capable of doing that?”

   “Hahah-I’m trying, I’m trying! I swear to god the button is unpressing its-hahaha-elf!”

   “It’s not ‘unpressing’ itself you’re CLEARLY letting go–just fucking–HOLD ME UP!”

   “I AM! What! Pfft bahaha-you don’t think I’m doing everything I can?”

   “You’re swinging in the wrong direction–(NAME) YOU–AGH-”

   A short “splat” noise follows and I erupt in laughter. Karkat throws his head backwards on the couch and groans sounds of anguish into his hands. I can’t help putting down my controller, my character dying as a result, and holding my sides to try and keep them from splitting. 

   “You thought I would like this game?! You thought, no–” he turns so he’s facing me on the couch, “(Name) you thought,” he grabs me by both arms, which I don’t really process because I’m still laughing “You thought there was some way in ever-loving Hell we could play this game without me bursting a fucking blood vessel and dying here in this room right now?!”

   “Sto-op!” I can only manage to squeal between gasps at air in my laughter. “I can’t–I can’t,”

   “Literally the most hopeless display at cooperative gameplay I’ve ever fucking seen and you make me play every damn game you buy.” He lets go of me and I fall backwards onto the arm of the couch, still giggling away. Distantly, I can hear him also laughing. It fills me with accomplishment, knowing I chose a game he would enjoy. I knew this game would be ragey, but it’s also primarily skill-based. As long as he knows I’m trying, which he can trust from how often we play together, he’ll have a good time.

   Finally I can manage one big gulp of air before I’m back in position. He was holding his head up with one hand, massaging the bridge of his nose, surely trying to hide the sharp-toothed grin he can’t shake. I knock my shoulder into his to snap him out, and after collecting himself he retaliates with enough strength to nearly push me off the couch. I rebound and get comfortable again, sitting cross-legged with one leg over his.

   “We. Just-“ I giggle “-need to regroup.”

   “Oh really? Oh really, is that all?”

“Stop it—I’m being so real Karkat I might piss if you make me laugh again don’t even test me. Pick up the controller, we can do this.”

   “No, we have to do this. We’re going to beat this level.”

   “YES! That’s the spirit.”

   We muse over our plan a little more. Deciding how exactly we should angle our characters to achieve the perfect toss—right into the goal. A couple more failed attempts go by calmly, “all part of the plan” I repeat like a mantra. 

   A calculated silence falls over the apartment. Blue hour is far from over and the windows we forgot to close display a full dark scene of a quiet cityscape. Some bright apartments far away are blinking sleepily.

   “FUCKING-“

   “No no no, focus-“

   Our characters swing, the game music hums idly, our characters stare blankly back at us. 

   We launch ourselves at the goal. 

   Everything is still.

   A successful note starts to ring.

   “YES HOLY SHIT!”

   “Oh my god!”

   We both start to pump the air with a wave accomplishment washing over us. Confetti in the game starts to fall and I turn to look at Karkat-

   -at the same time he turns to look at me. 

   Both our smiles drop to surprise and a beat goes by. I push myself off of him and he takes his hand off from my back—

   “I’m sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize I was so close-” I start.

   “No- you’re fine, I didn’t… Notice. I wasn’t paying attention, sorry.”

   We both nervously laugh. The soundtrack went quiet, briefly, before it automatically moved onto the next level with a funny sound effect. 

   What. 

   The FUCK–why was I–I had somehow managed to get myself half on top of Karkat while we played–and then when we looked at each other we were so close- and what the fuck he stared at me I think? How long did we look at each other? What the fuck was that? And his arm, I can’t-

   “Oh man! We left the blinds open, let me just close them really quick.” I stand up, speeding without really thinking about it, to the window. 

   “(Name)?” Nope. Ignoring that. 

   I prop myself up by two arms over the back of the couch, moving so rigidly it nearly hurts. 

   “We beat the level! That’s pretty cool! So. Maybe it’s about time y’know we call it a day. Right? Yeah.”

   He still doesn’t say anything while I start to pull the switch out of the dock and lock the joycons back in place. 

   “Um? Sorry, again, I’m just gonna go back to my room. So um! Goodnight!” I robot over to my door. 

   “What the- (Name)!”

   “Oh, and for the food! Thanks again!”

   And slam it shut by accident. I don’t hear anything from the other room for a moment, not for the minute or two I strained myself to listen. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and slump against the door. 

   Ever so slowly, I ghost my hand over my mouth.

   Why am I freaking out so much?

Next Chapter

Author's Note: Yay! Hope you enjoyed :) I will mayyybe write a second part, bc this is definitely not finished haha. I dont know the best x reader tags! if you're willing to help me out id love to know :3

[the-blind-geisha]

If you're down for a bit of sads, how about Guild!MC jokingly made a bet with Ulbert for Demiurge's hand in marriage and Demi remembered but she didn't?

A/N: So many intriguing ideas for this one... X3 I love the thought of it. So full of angst and miscommunication! ♥

“Marriage for NPCs aren't a thing,” Demiurge recalled his Creator saying to her.

“Yeah? But the devs could implement it at some point! I mean, c'mon! They just allowed for player characters to marry one another, and for Guild NPCs to be allowed into dungeons.” She smirked. “You know it's coming.”

Ulbert stifled a laugh. “Fine then. If you lose this PVP fight, you'll have to marry my creation then. And don't divorce him either. You have to stay married to him. How does that sound?”

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she joked.

That was seemingly so long ago.

Regardless, Demiurge recalled it all perfectly. But, nothing seemed to come of it. Whether that was because of these 'devs' or because of other reasons, Demiurge wasn't sure.

Now that he had his own voice, he felt he could bring it up to her. Find the moment to ask.

Maybe she could easily explain a few things. She seemed to be excited about the thought before...

The moment she showed up, the devil bowed. “My Lady, I was wondering if you could spare me a moment of your time?”

“Sure,” she said with a smile. “What do you need, Demi?”

He fixed his tie, wondering how to properly bring up the past that only he seemed to be focusing on. “Mm, I was curious—do you recall the moment Lord Ulbert asked you to marry me?”

The expression she made alone prompted the devil to nearly panic. It was mostly confusion, as though he was making it up.

“Marry you...?” She tried to recall what he was even talking about. It didn't help her memory was always garbage to begin with. Something somebody just told her could easily go in one ear and then out the other. “I'm.. I'm afraid I don't remember anything like that.”

Demiurge's chest tightened. That wasn't the answer he was hoping for...

“Are you certain? You were told to do so if you lost in a PVP match of some sort. Did you actually win that?”

“PVP match?” Again, she tried to remember what it was Demiurge was even talking about. “There were always so many of those, Demi. You'd have to be more specific.”

“What about the marriage to NPCs?” He was grabbing ant anything he could, trying to hope it wasn't just some dream of his.

She shrugged. “I mean, we could marry other players, but there was never any talk about marriage to an NPC.” She laughed. “I wouldn't doubt I was hoping for it, as I am such a weirdo with people in game. I wanted something that wouldn't mind my crazy ass.”

Hearing her say such things, Demiurge stifled a sound of upset. “So you don't remember the talk at all...?”

She shook her head. “I'm sorry. Maybe you're just remembering it wrong?”

That thought hurt him worse than anything. He wanted to believe he had the most brilliant mind in all of Nazarick. To have a Supreme Being say he might be misremembering something was painful.

Seeing the agony on his face, she gently rubbed his upper arm. “Hey, don't get so upset. We all have memory problems now and again. Goodness knows I'm awful at it myself. You could tell me something right now, and I'm sure I'd forget it in a few seconds.”

He wasn't sure what to say to that. The devil merely nodded.

“Anyways, glad we could have this chat. I'll catch you later, okay?” And with that, she continued onward through the tomb's halls.

She doesn't remember... Demiurge thought, pain striking his dead heart. It's as though someone stole her memories on purpose... He looked down at the floor, shaking his head. But who would do such a thing?

[astrum99]

@patronsaintofdemons from original post

*runs at u* *snatches u by the arm* *shaking u shaking u* I GOT U. YOU RE NOW A VICTIM OF MY THOGHTS . DO NOT RESIST. 

No joke I woke up yesterday morning at 4am, saw ur tags, and couldn’t get back so sleep for a whole hr bc I got so excited to talk abt whatever funky waves my brain is generating ( I am at peak obsession right now, I am generating enough energy to power a small city))

Sorry if I’m being awfully deranged. I'm not used to being Comprehended and Perceived as an existing entity. Please excuse the part of me that is vibrating so hard I am about to emit light beams from my eyes like some sort of cartoon character. Anyways.

Ultrakill, so far, doesn’t actually have a super complex lore. The story is succinctly simple and tragic. The characters as well. I won't focus on that because my obsession lies in Gabriel. From your tags, it looks like you haven’t gotten deep into the game (yet), so I don’t want to spoil the fun if you ever decide to watch a playthrough of the game, or play the game yourself.

And I can avoid spoilers because, for this post, what I latched onto is not his character arc, but his inherent setting of “an angel”.

“Why are you thinking of an angel”

Well. For starters. I wasn’t thinking about angels at first. I was thinking about his thighs and what he got down there. 

Stay with me. The horniness is fading. The poetry is starting. (shaking you)

Click see below.

No? As if you had a choice.

Jokes on you, I lied. This is less of a poetry and way more of an incomprehensible ramble on why Gabriel is irresistible to me. I hope you enjoy it anyway. <3

Humans are largely made of storytelling and wonder. A desire to strip back layers and layers until a deep, concise answer is found. Then we move on. The study of magic: biochemistry, aerodynamics, fusion physics. We boil the universe down to the barest essentials, then examine some more. We looked inside ourselves: blood, plasma, enzymes. Until we reach the concept of consciousness and suddenly, we are incapable of going further. Attention turned to the sky: planes and rockets; astronomy and “what happened before the Big Bang?” in a child's voice. And we saw that the stars were moving further away from us, faster too, and we thought "we'd have to keep going."

It is at these ends that things become interesting. Never-ending debates of questions that will never be solved because of our inability to go beyond the limits. Reaching the skybox of the universe and unable to do anything more than to speculate what lies further still.

It is no wonder that the thought of an angel captivates man. If it exists, then its nature of being far outside of our observational capability becomes the ultimate lure for artists and scientists alike.

For example, what form would it take? A question of pure speculation, no different than a child's image of aliens. Brainstorming shapes and curvatures and weight in the three-dimensional space, fruitless and fantastical.

An abstract form, perhaps. So abstract that it becomes a type of cosmic horror or a Lovecraftian horror. The burning of eyes, the melting of mind. To lay eyes on it is to condemn yourself to death. Radioactive elephant's foot. We'd try to see it regardless.

A holy being, perhaps. Formed like a man but spills pure light when cut. Would it even cut? What does it mean if the imperfect blade made from the hands of a lowly man had sliced through its skin? Skin? Does it have skin? Like a salamander? Like a leopard? Can a creature’s skin contain the light of god? …Would it leak like a broken puppet? Does it sometimes hate itself like how some of us hate the silhouette of our shadows?

A man, perhaps. Uncertain if it became an angel because the mold of humankind was filled to the brim with divinity, or if it is divine because the pile of carbon assumed the role of an angel. Does it know? Does it wonder? Does it see man in itself, and itself in man? Does it feel lonely to be separated from its lightless siblings that wander the earth freely and sinfully?

And if it is man, as physical as it can be, how close am I to it? …What makes you sacred? Can I see? Can I touch? Can I study your form as millions of humans studied every inch of their world, concrete and abstract? Do you see me as ants? Or family? Would you grieve for me as I have for the songbird?

If I cut you open, will you hold yourself down for me?

Will you forgive me for desecrating you like so?

I think I would be ok with dying by your hand if it is you: let me trade my sight to see you, let me trade my life to touch you. To know you is to cross the limits of the beasts. Sacrilegious.

… And I don’t think you’d allow me to. It’s not in your character. Another angel perhaps, from another story. But I’m thinking of you. And so I can only think, like ancestors before me, and descendants after me. Of the study of magic, of self, of sky.

Of angels.

Truthfully, I’m not a believer in a higher being, never have been, probably never will; but standing on the boundary between life and death and yearning to know the feeling of an angel’s skin under my fingertips are the closest thing to a prayer I have ever experienced. Passion burns; I tend to the fire.

And it’s so regretful that I will never know (because you are an angel) and I will never know (because you are born of fiction) and I am never supposed to know (because to completely understand something or someone is to remove the wonder and hope and passion - like how life without death is timeless and still).

So, this is a love letter of sorts. Because I can’t be the only one craving to know every crease and crevice of this holy being made wearing the same shell as a creature who roams the earth blindly, bumbling, and mad.

------

By the way, please excuse grammar issues. Both my writing in the original post and this one are messy and not thoroughly edited. I just type my brain words out in one setting (partially because uni is in full swing). Sorry if this is on the too-long side of things. I was 700 words into my take on human storytelling before I went: “wait, I’m going way off topic” haha Hope this version is more palatable!

Also just wanna let you know: I just started posting my writing, so your tags were one of the first few that came in and got me really excited! I’m always so happy to read the tags of people who enjoyed my stuff. Thank you!

[iwannabeastarstarrockmann]

I was delusional to think this year would be different. TW:SH/ED

why are moms so toxic? i cant remember one birthday in which everything went smoothly ansd i truly felt loved by her. she has always made it clear to me that im not enough, she has sacrificed too much for me, im a waste of space, im a lazy sack of shit and she wished she never had me or my sister.

I just woke up a couple hours ago really excited because she stayed out late last night so I didn't get a chance to talk with her (we were starting to get along weirdly) and my birthday is tomorrow so I wanted to hear what her plans were and instead she yelled at me for not getting up earlier, for not having a job yet, (even though I had to quit my last one because of her and I've been applying for jobs ever since) she said I should stop using being autistic as an excuse because I'm "not really autistic", I'm "completely normal, I'm just a giant asshole"

why would she say that??! and then to make matters worse, a family friend is planning to make me food for tomorrow and so my mom said the least I could do to earn such a gift that I don't deserve, I should go swimming with her in her pool, although I cannot because I recently relapsed heavily and have sh scars all over my arms and legs and I would rather politely decline a swim rather than worrying everyone I know and love. so anyway, I couldn't tell my mom why I couldn't swim so I just said I'm really not feeling up to it and she replied with "okay well then, you're dead to me" and strangely as punishment forbid me from using her shower ever again?? I have a shower, but it's infested with mold, and we didn't find that out until I passed out after a shower, so I think that means I really am dead to her?? ouch!

I'm really sad though, more so because we just bought groceries and now, I may be wasting food because I'm fasting. how can I be a good anorexic though when my fear of wasting food overpowers my fear of gaining?? idk maybe I'll just cook for everyone else on my bday, that is, if I knew anyone to cook for. I also feel bad for not swimming with our friend especially because she is cooking a whole feast for me! something my mother would never be caught dead doing. a lot of my issues with food come from having no structure nor comfort in my household growing up, i went from eating too much to never eating enough. i love it though when i see family friends and they are always telling me that ive gotten too skinny and i need to eat more, and as a result always cook food for me and lecture my mom for not paying attention to me, not that shes obligated to, as im almost 20, but as long as im stuck with her due to finances and just a tad bit of codependency, she should be a little nicer to me right??

am I crazy for thinking that regardless of my age or life situation, when I'm home it should feel like home?? if I were going to college no one would question me for still being here, I'm just trying to save up some money but every time I do, my mom demands to borrow it and then threatens me that she won't pay me back if I don't do this or that for her. did I mention that she always plays the victim too?

she genuinely believes that the world owes her something. she thinks because of her disability, people should bow down to her and cater to her every need! that is so immature! its every man for themselves, if you can't hold yourself accountable, how do you expect your life to improve? doing the same thing over and over with no result gets you nowhere! that's insanity, its naive. I don't want to waste my life catering to her when I spent the first 19 years of my life being the adult and her being the child. I deserved better.

now I just want her to see how terrible of a job she did by rotting away. I don't care anymore, I know that's selfish but I just don't care about anything anymore, I want to starve, I don't want to eat anymore. I know better than to starve myself, but it feels so damn validating when I'm losing weight.

[kakoiphonousangie]

My thoughts on LB6 (Arc 1)

My personal thoughts on Lostbelt 6 so far as I have been timegated and am so fucking hyped to see it come to fruition. I just wanted to collect my thoughts on it in a post. Apologies for lack of images I am doing this at 2AM and I need to get my feelings down.

From start to finish, I have been *very* into fucking world building, to the point where it is its only surpassed by its amazing character arcs! But regardless, I think the writers made a really good intro to suck you in first that makes you excited to be along for the ride.

The very first meeting you get of Fairy Britain is of rapscallion exiles who don’t have anything left to lose and are practically cockroaches of society. Even so they try their best to live out the rest of their lives, even if they cut it short themselves with the introduction of a human. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a metaphor for all of Fairy Britain: a peaceful land eventually doomed to fail but with the introduction of one human cascades into an even worse fate filled with pain and suffering. 

I also love how differing area’s have differing politics on humans and what to do with them. Camelot and Salisbury seem intent to control humans, even if Salisbury’s leader thinks differently. (Hell, the disconnect is so much that I’m almost suspicious.) Norwich and Sheffield practically have fairies and humans side by side, although both of which is primarily motivated by an oncoming disaster. And then Gloucester is willfully feigning ignorance with neutrality, knowing that the only thing that matters is commerce. If you’re human, you’re a slave. A pet. A comrade in arms. A bargaining chip. And someone sticking through a disaster together with people.

Plus the introductions of various faeries make the world so much more lively. Especially the river fairies who lure people in with their wishes. That one in particular was really cool and made for a really good comedy bit.

And then the characters. GOD the characters. Every single main character has made a lasting impression on me, whether it be cool or immense, but intended, hatred. I especially love Castoria being fated to be this great hero but is the equivalent of throwing molotov cocktails at people. Also, at some point I noticed I didn’t know why Castoria was in the Amnesia Forest. Hm. I wonder if this is related to the crippling imposter syndrome she has over the entire Child of Prophecy thing and that it seemed like she let her entire hometown die. Sure would be bad if she tried to drown herself in amnesia so she could go back to being a regular hick! Regardless I will hype her up as much as possible and will kill everyone else in the room if they don’t cheer.

Anyways, moving on from Castoria, this is also very clearly supposed to be Mash’s time to shine and it fucking *shows*. Taking her away from Ritsuka and giving her own role to develop is so cool to see. Her absence is tangible, especially since she’s Ritsuka’s rock and they literally cannot keep themself in check without her as a support. Regardless, putting her with the scum of the earth (who aren’t true scum, just a little misguided and don’t know how to act) and making her still defend them at all costs is so good. She *is* a hero, a knight, Galahad’s very own Tam Lin to shield all that comes the way. It’s so satisfying to see her build herself back up and have something to stand for as Mash and not Chadea’s Demi-servant. (Also, I very much appreciate the buffs. Especially the np gain so i can fucking loop her np.)

And the fucking meetup with her and Ritsuka is SO FUCKING HYPE. Ritsuka, willing their command seals back (probably by sacrificing their of life force just to defy fate, i don’t think letting them know that was a thing they could do was a good idea) to triple boost a Lord Camelot is just. Fucking Incredible. Also giving THEM a monolouge not influenced by the player hit me so fucking hard because for once Ritsuka doesn’t feel like an insert MC. They’re a fully fledged maniac of their own and above everything they want to save their beloved Mash and the rest of Britain. (Granted, they never were just an insert, especially during lostbelt arc, but this takes it to a new level) And it makes it hurt all the more when Mash is taken away to Morgan. But also not to a point where the other Tam Lin know about her, at least Tristan. Very fascinating to me. Still satisfying to watch the hope drain from Guda’s eyes as their sanity plummets.

On the account of Oberon, I like him but sadly don’t have much to say about him expect REALLY loving his art and the writers making great stuff with his humor. Regardless, I like that he tries to care for Guda in his own way. Same thing with Muramasa, but with the added part of liking his like. Strict Grandpa relationship with the cast, with a soft spot for Artoria.

Comedy is also been top notch. From being owned by Artoria (which she seems a *wee* bit too excited by) to buying the Child of Prophecy (30% Chance), the writers hit home with nearly everyone. Plus, it helps a lot with getting some relief, especially after heavy hitters like the fall of Sheffield due to the Black Barrel and the loss of Tristan. 

All and all, this is by far my favorite chapter by a mile. I returned from a long ass hiatus just to sink my teeth into this and by god it delivered. Glad, I came back. And, while i was mainly trying to save for someone else later… I couldn’t help myself bringing home someone who I’m told is very good!

Till our next meeting, King of the Lostbelt! I hope you’re as good as people tell!

[allylikethecat]

Ally! life is such a crazy busy thing how dare life gets in the way of me reading fics!!! Anyway, I hope you’ve had a good day today (and a good father’s day if you celebrated!)

having 2 atkh updates was a rollercoaster! I’m very surprised on the direction we’re going because you’ve treated us so kindly with soft and gentle George in the past but seeing this version of him is really intense and complex i love it!! It’s like one minute he’s all loved up with matty and then the second he starts feeling threatened all that love and care is just gone which is heartbreaking for poor matty whose just nervously trying to make his boss and coworkers proud. We’re starting to see that George really just liked the idea of Matty that he made up in his head, was it pity? was it lust? did he think he could somehow “save” him? I guess we’ll find out omg I’m so nervous but in a good way

Anyway I hope your week is great and try to stay cool we don’t want another heatstroke!

🥤

Ahhh hello my dearest smoothie anon!!! As always it is such a joy to hear from you!

I feel the same way - I am also very behind on my fic reading (not to mention my fic writing!) real life needs to chill and stop getting in the way! My day Sunday lovely, thank you for asking! I had a lesson with Pop in the morning, Facetimed with my father, and then went to Father's Day lunch with my Uncle and cousins since my own dad lives on the other side of the country. It was nice! No complaints (other than the heat lol) and I hope your Sunday / Father's Day (if you celebrate) was lovely as well! Now I have hit the ground running on Monday with work, one of my colleagues is on vacation so I'm monitoring all of his clients while he's out and WOW they are a lot needier than mine are 😂

Thank you so much for reading! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed the new ATKH chapters even though they were for sure *a lot* ATKH Fictional!George is obsessed with Fictional!Matty in a very unhealthy way - he spent a long time being jealous of him, and that only kind of went away when he was in a position of power over Fictional!Matty and was thus *winning* now that the tables have flipped and Fictional!Matty is the one getting what Fictional!George wanted and feels like deservers things are not great. Regardless Fictional!George liked the idea of Fictional!Matty that he had created a lot more than the actual Fictional!Matty. The actual Fictional!Matty is just trying to make it through the summer without having a complete nervous breakdown (or his back giving out) as well as nursing his broken heart. I'm excited for this story to continue to unfold and I hope you continue to enjoy it! I am so grateful for your asks and your continued support! 🥰 I hope you are also having a great week! I will try my very best to stay cool! I am armed with all the electrolytes now haha

❤️Ally

[mercy-burning]

Roommate Agreement

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader x Luke Alvez Summary: After about a year of living with Spencer, Y/N gets excited when he introduces her to a new potential roommate. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Free use, threesome, cum play, penetrative/unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (male receiving), rough sex, dirty talk Word Count: 2.3k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: I was gonna write this as a blurb, but it got a little longer than I anticipated lol. I’ve been super into this kink/fantasy lately, so uh.. this was just pure indulgence 🥰✌

———

Apartment hunting and living on my own sucked, which is why Spencer Reid coming into my life was the biggest blessing I ever could have hoped for. He was handsome, kind, welcoming... And he let me live with him for free.

Well, not entirely.

But regardless of our little agreement, I still slip him some cash when rent comes up because it's just common courtesy. I'm grateful that he lets me stay with him and provides me with what I need (and then some), and if there's any way for me to return that favor, I'll do it.

He gets annoyed with me whenever I do it, but I always know how to get him to forget about it...

Just thinking about last night brings a smile to my face as I put away the last few glasses in their respective cupboards.

The heavy padding of Spencer's feet behind me makes me turn around then, and I nearly clench my legs at the sight of him, dressed and ready for work, except his dick is out and hefty in his right hand. It's hard, leaking, and by the look on his face I can tell he's about ready to let go.

"Give me your panties, sweetheart."

Before he even gets out the whole sentence, I make quick work of lifting my shirt out of the way and opening up the fabric, pulling it away from my body and giving him an opening. He walks up with a hungry kiss to my jaw as he jerks himself off, right into my panties until he's making a mess of them. I sigh out happily as he hums against my skin.

And when he's done, he kisses my cheek chastely and uses my shirt to clean up a bit before tucking himself back neatly into his pants. I adjust my panties and feel the warmth spread over my skin while he grabs his bag from the back of the chair to leave.

"Have a good day, Doctor," I call with a cute smile, my hand dipping down to feel the mess he made and wishing he didn't have to go.

"You too, sweetheart," he returns with a wink. He turns to leave, but before he's at the door, he throws back, "Oh, and make sure you're dressed properly when I get back, he's coming over with me after work."

"Wait, really?" I ask brightly, my heart starting to race.

"Mhm. He's excited to meet you."

I’d had plans to run some errands today, but as soon as he tells me the good news, I know I won't be able to get anything done.

———

The second I hear the door, I'm waiting like a dog with a wagging tail, excited for extra company and eager to make a new friend. I flatten my tiny skirt, though with how frilly it is, it really makes no difference— I think that as excited as I am, I'm definitely anxious about potentially adding a new person to our dynamic.

My hands reach behind my back and clasp together as I rock slowly on my feet, ready to welcome them when they come through the door.

Spencer, as always, looks positively delicious, and it only amplifies when he sees me and smiles, reaching out for me. "Somebody's excited..."

In his embrace, I laugh and welcome his hand as it slips up the front of my skirt to make sure I've followed his instructions. He quickly runs his middle finger through my opening, a smile forming on his lips— I can feel it against my neck. "Good girl."

"I couldn't help it," I tell him earnestly, refraining from whining in protest when he removes himself from me entirely. Then I look over his shoulder to see our guest of honor, Spencer's co-worker Luke Alvez. With a shy smile, I reach my hand out to shake his. "I have a new guest to impress."

Luke accepts my hand with a smile all his own, accompanied by wandering eyes that make me feel warm from head-to-toe. It reminds me of how I felt when I first met Spencer while apartment hunting last year. Luke's eyes are just a few shades darker but regardless of color, the hunger swimming within them remains plentiful.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," he says smoothly. His voice makes me feel a whole new sense of ease and the overwhelming need to submit to him entirely. "I've heard great things."

With introductions out of the way, Spencer ushers Luke into the apartment and I close the door. "Let me show you around a bit," he says, and the two walk off, leaving me to follow behind.

We tour the whole apartment, Spencer taking his sweet time with the walking and the talking... I swear he's doing it on purpose, to make me wait and get me riled up, but regardless I stay patient and involve myself in their conversations as normal. Actually, it would have all felt like a completely normal apartment tour in the first place, had I not been thinking about how the men accompanying me would use me in the future...

Spencer saves the living room for last, and once we make it to the couch, I pray that he's ready to start showing Luke the added benefit of choosing to live here rather than in an apartment by himself...

And he knows me so well, because he pulls me aside with a cheeky smile, his hand resting firmly on my ass and under my skirt. "So, Alvez, you wanna give her a whirl?"

"You're uh... You're sure this is alright? You don't mind?"

His concern is sweet, but I can see the lust sparkling in his eyes as he looks over me once more.

Spencer laughs a bit, squeezing my ass with a nod. "Of course. Look how happy she is to see you... So ready to be used up..."

Luke's tongue darts out over his bottom lip at my roommate's words, his decision becoming more clear.

Still, I help out. "It's true... When Spencer first mentioned adding a new roommate to our arrangement, I couldn't wait... And you're perfect.

"So what do you say?" Spencer asks once more with finality.

Luke strides over to me slowly, my head tilting higher with each inch he gets closer. He looks down at my lips and smiles before bringing his thumb gently to my mouth. "This pretty little mouth has been calling to me since I walked through the door..."

I hear Spencer laugh beside me as Luke slips his thumb past my lips and over my tongue. I suck it into my mouth with a tiny groan, flitting my eyes up at him and arching my back as Spencer's grip on my ass gets tighter.

"Get on the couch, sweetheart," he says, letting go and giving me a small spank.

Luke's thumb pops out of my mouth and I stumble to the couch, getting on all fours so my hands are on the arm and my knees are buried in one of the cushions.

The unmistakable sound of their laughing fills my ears and makes me even more eager, though I know better than to tell them outright what I want. Unless either of them asks me to, I'm not going to beg. I mean, I'm not sure about Luke, but I know that Spencer prefers when I use visual signs in our daily routine. He likes to hear me use my words, sure, but that's only on occasions where he's in a happier, more giving mood. Most of the fucking we do is when he comes home frustrated and needs to take. No questions asked.

And truthfully, I like that more. Which is why I'd agreed to be his roommate in the end.

Spencer does seem to be more giving today, moving this right along and taking his pants off before walking over to me while his friend follows suit, but I follow our rules anyway, wanting to make a good impression on Luke (though I'm positive I've already secured that bag).

Luke's pants come off too, though he waits until he's right in front of my face. I'm looking up at him with my bottom lip between my teeth, and when he starts to work at his belt, I look down to see.

Meanwhile I feel Spencer's weight dip down behind me, and it doesn't take long for him to slide right in, spreading my legs further and beginning to fuck me steadily. He gathers my hair from my face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand while the other rests at my hip. "You gonna be a big girl and open your mouth wide, or do I have to make you?"

I respond in kind by slacking my jaw and welcoming Luke, his hands coming down to tilt my chin and slide his thick, hard dick into my mouth.

"That's right, sweetheart," Spencer praises, giving me another small spank and a slight tug of the hair. Meanwhile Luke is slowly fucking my throat, pushing himself deeper with each thrust.

Eventually, the two of them are fucking me with perfect rhythm. Each time Spencer goes in, Luke goes out, and their force is even the same. It's building and building with each second, and I can feel my whole body start to go numb with pleasure. My knees are tingling from the couch, my ass is surely red from how many times Spencer has spanked me, and my throat is bruising beautifully.

Spencer's hand releases my ass and reaches out to my throat. The way he's bending forward gives him a deeper angle inside me, and I can't help the choked whimper that comes out of my mouth because of it. He can feel it, too, because his fingers rest just under my chin.

"His cock feels so good down your throat, doesn't it, baby?" he coos, driving into me harder.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds to blink away the tears that blur my vision, and when I open them I look up at Luke, pure unadulterated bliss painting his features. He looks down at me with awe and lust and need, and I can tell that it won't be long before he snaps.

"When he comes, you're gonna keep it in, okay? I wanna see it..."

I clench around Spencer at his words, and my orgasm follows shortly after. As soon as I start to come down, Luke holds himself still at the back of my throat and comes with a shout, his hands rooting in my hair. I try my hardest to keep it all in, meanwhile Spencer starts to stutter as well. And by the time Luke is pulling himself away from me, his friend is coming inside me, just like he's done so many times before.

It's a familiar, wonderful feeling, though this time it's even better because I know I have cum filling both ends of me. I feel so full, so warm and numb and fucked out, and I never want to go a single day without it that way.

When Spencer pulls out and leaves the couch, Luke makes room for him in front of me. He steps into view then, reaching his hand out to pry my mouth open and examine his friend's work.

"Oh, sweetheart, you look so pretty with all Luke's cum in your mouth... Doesn't she look pretty, Alvez?"

The other man muses, his hand coming down to graze my cheek. Both their hands are on either side of my face, and they're gazing down at me with such wonderment that I swear I'll do anything to feel this way again— to make them feel this way again.

"She sure does," Luke says, and I nuzzle into his hand. "Just like a proper cumdump."

Their words and their eyes and their touches send butterflies soaring through my whole body and bring an open-mouthed smile to my face.

"You can swallow now," Spencer says, tapping my cheek. I do, and immediately afterwards he leans down to kiss me deeply. I lean into him and flutter my eyes closed, the feeling of his cum dripping out of me and down my leg only adding to the blissful state I'm in.

He pulls away, and I glance over at Luke, who has his dick in his hand and an amused smile on his face. "Damn, I could almost go again..."

I can tell he only means it as a way to keep the mood light, maybe as a joke, but in hopes that it will make him more comfortable with the idea that he can quite literally use me whenever he wants to, I smile as sincerely as I can. "That's what I'm here for," I offer brightly, getting up off the couch and trying to stand on wobbling legs.

I somehow manage, Spencer helps to steady me, and then he laughs, kissing me on the cheek. "You two have fun. I'm gonna shower, and then I have to take care of some errands. That okay with you?"

Luke and I give our approval, Spencer kisses me once more, and then admires me for a few seconds before throwing his friend a wink and heading off to the shower.

The moment I'm alone with Luke Alvez, he takes my hand and gives it a kiss. "You really are something special, princess..."

The nickname, while not entirely new since Spencer had mumbled it a few times with my mouth wrapped around his dick, sounds absolutely delightful coming from Luke's lips.

"Thank you," I purr, leading him to the couch and pulling him on top of me. "But there's still so much for you to discover..."

He hums amusedly, tracing my mouth with his thumb again. This time I take it gently between my teeth before he slips his cock inside me, which inadvertently makes me let go of it in favor of a whimper.

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I'm moving in..."

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST (tags not working are struck out): 

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If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[cyborg-franky]

This is my first time requesting anything so I am excited 🥰. I usually just write stuff but felt it was time I indulge a little! Anyway I saw the Jan prompt requests and was intrigued. Anyway can I have Ace with either hurt/comfort prompt 1 or Gen prompt 1 ?

FIRST TIME? I am honored and excited to write this for you then!

Ace x GN Reader SFW Word Count: 493

Your eyelids felt heavy, your limbs felt like they weighed double, everything ached, you were sore all over not to mention you felt frazzled, snappy. Sleep wasn’t your friend this week, you kept throwing yourself into work. Not just your duties but you’d actively pile on more, offering to take on other crew members tasks.

Feeling yourself getting lightheaded, you glanced around trying to find something to grab, it was too late though, your consciousness was dragged from under you, as you fell you just saw a flash of orange and heard a “Whoa!”

Ace grabbed you before you hit the deck, holding you in his arms as he gently shook you, getting no response, picking you up bridal style, and heading the med bay. Which was where you found yourself when you woke up with a dull ache in your head. Feeling groggy you tried to sit up, a hand on your chest pushed you back down.

“You aren’t going anywhere” Ace said, his brows furrowed as you tried once again but his hand remained firm.

“When was the last time you slept?” the commander asked as you gave up on fighting him, just allowing yourself to get comfy against the pillows, you heard his question and just sighed, hands rubbing your face.

“I don’t remember” You mumbled, honestly.

Ace tilted his head to the side, his lips in a firm line as worry crossed his handsome face, he scooted forward on the chair and placed a hand on yours. You’d never seen Ace look concerned before; it didn’t suit him. You were used to the bright smile or a thoughtful look on his freckled face.

“What’s going on?”

“I..”

You told him everything, why you tried to work yourself to death, the things that just kept you up regardless of how you tried to sleep, saying you’d just given up and made yourself useful to others instead. Marco had popped in to check on you during the conversation, offering his advice before leaving you and Ace alone once more.

“You can always talk to me yeah?” He said as he placed his hand on yours.

“I’ll try” You closed your eyes, enjoying the soft breeze that came in through the open window of the med bay.

“Try sleep, okay?” you simply nodded.

Sharing with Ace had helped, sleep once again wound itself around your mind, sinking you into a comfortable darkness. When you woke up hours later you felt a warmth, you blinked, opening your eyes to see the flame user led next to you, fast asleep with an arm around your waist, smiling to yourself you turned to face him, hand stroking his cheek, admiring how peaceful he looked as he slept.

Marco came to check on you sometime later and chuckled, rolling his eyes at seeing you both cuddled up on the bed, fast asleep. “About time yoi” he shook his head, leaving the room, closing the door softly.

TAG LIST: @acesmarigold @undercoverweeeb @sanjithesimp @slut4animedilfs @sugxrslushy @kaizokuwritings @fire-fist-ann @rivvd-art @angeltani @mimi-ya @simp4ace @aifozu @useless-potatho @astrasari @iloveportgasdace @smoleeveewrites @strawhat-bast @gonuclear

[dollediary]

I Still Wanna Try

I. False Hopes

yes this is a series now ;)

🏹 pairing(s): heeseung x female reader, heeseung x giselle, sunghoon x female reader, jake x female reader

🏹 genre: angst, smut

🏹 warning(s): language, manipulation? cheating

🏹 synopsis: y/n and heeseung, two highschool sweethearts whose relationship seemed to only have grown worse as time went on. what was once nothing but puppy love turned into an immature and toxic romance that lead to the downfall of their relationship. heeseung, the displayed unfaithful partner, went seeking comfort in the arms of another woman, essentially cheating on y/n. after the situation was brought to light, he lost y/n. now, with the help of his friend jake, we get to watch as he carelessly tries to win her heart over, while either earning her trust back, or making matters worse for himself.

🏹 word count: 3.7k

"...could i request a heeseung or jaeyun fic- prolly where they’re in a very toxic and unhealthy relationship , and they start another argument in front of their friends which leads to another one while they’re at home. jus bickering and heeseung or jaeyun being strictly mean to y/n. it could end up wid smut or angst! up to you <33 if you’re comfortable wid it"

I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND DID NOT FOLLOW THE REQUEST AT ALL I'M SO SORRY!!!😭😭 it's just like toxic heeseung x toxic fem!reader ft. jake and sunghoon 😩 also i didn't turn this into a smut because i was too excited to write an angst story!! i hope you enjoy regardless! (as always to my readers, dont be shy to send in requests u creative mfs‼️it takes some time, but i think i make it worthwhile! also i have another fic coming out that actually ties into this that is also a request, but i could potentially turn this into a smut after i post the other one bc the context of it would make it 100x better, but let me not get ahead of myself!! anyways i hope y'all enjoy because this is different than the works i've done so far i think??

[♪masterlist | next →]

"my god, y/n you do this every fucking time, do you even understand how unbearable you are?" heeseung said with the roll of his eyes as he laid down fully on the couch you recently were sitting on. you were up and about, and in tears, as you angrily grabbed your phone and keys, throwing them into your purse.

"unbearable, huh?" you seethed as you angrily turned your body to him and. "that's new. hm, maybe i should add it onto the list of 'shitty things my boyfriend has called me'," you pulled your purse up, throwing it over your shoulder as you stood there. a big part of you wanted to leave, but the other part was screaming into your ear to stay and argue, and that was the part you would always listen to.

"it's weird as hell that you're keeping a list," he said with a laugh as he nonchalantly scrolled through his phone. you rolled your eyes as you watched how unbothered he was. it was like this was only bothering you. it was always that way. you two would argue, whether it be over text or in person, and he would just sit there and act like he didn't give a shit. you were starting to believe that he really didn't.

"obviously it's not a real list, heeseung," you said, refraining from calling him out of his name so he wouldn't be able to use it against you if things were to boil down enough for a civilized conversation. "it's just always at the back of my head since you never fail to make me feel shitty about myself whenever shit like this happens."

"oh i'm sorry, i didn't expect you to hold everything i've ever said to you against me, y/n," he yawned, still not looking your way. "but what can i expect? you'll do anything just to remain the victim every single time, right?" his bitter laugh boomed through your ears like a siren you couldn't turn off. you clenched your fists hard, doing everything in your power not to blow off even more, but this man always made it so hard for you.

"because i am the victim, i never do this shit to you, yet you do this all the fucking time," you said, yet he still made no effort to pay any real attention. "i don't even want to be here anymore, you ruined my whole mood. i can't even be at peace in your presence without you finding a way to fuck with me."

"no one's forcing you to be here," he said, referencing that you could easily leave. he knew you didn't want to leave, that you wanted to get the last word in. usually he would let you, and let the conversation, for an actual discussion about your feelings be made, but he was so sick of always being the blame. always being painted as the shitty boyfriend when you were just as bad as he was.

still wanting to get a reaction out of him, you tried to think of a way to rile him up just enough to get the same energy you were giving him. then it dawned on you like a lightbulb switching on. "and no one's forcing me to keep this stupid ass neck lace on either," you said ripping it off in the heat of the moment. the weak golden chain that was once securely around your neck was now cracked and broken as you threw it at him.

you had finally caught his attention once the broken anniversary necklace landed on him. his ears started burning red with anger as he picked up the jewelry off of his chest where it landed. "fuck you!" heeseung said as he threw it behind him as he got up, towering over you as looked down with anger in his eyes.

"no fuck you! i'm tired of this shit. i'm not gonna let you keep treating me like shit!" you were unfazed by his gaze since you'd seen it so many times before. if anything, you were only gonna test him more to see how far you could push him. oh, but he had other plans in mind.

"oh, but you will, y/n! you know why? because you know no matter what i say or do to you, you're not gonna leave. you. never. do," he said, poking your forehead with every emphasis. you glared up at him as you smacked his hand away from you. a scoff left your lips, feeling like he was starting to tear your wall of anger down with that sentence. now it felt more... personal. because he was right.

"well my fucking bad for wanting to be loved by you, heeseung," your words and tone were still the same, but it was evident that what he said got to you. he knew it would anyways because, contrary to belief, he knew how to get under yout skin, too. and you deserved to be hurt after what you did to that necklace he spent his hard earned money on for you.

"well, fuck, y/n. you shouldn't be with a man if you feel like he doesn't love you, don't you think?" he asked, challenging you even more. tears brimmed in your eyes again as you kept eye contact with him. of course you knew you couldn't stop the tears from forming, but if there was one thing you could do, it was stopping them from falling.

"i'm obviously staying because i want you to love me." you know, the way you used to. before our heads constantly crashed together, before the first name was called, before the first block and break we took because of it. she wanted to say, but her pride wouldn't let her. and if there's anything or anyone she'll listen to, it's her pride. "but it's clear that you don't, so maybe i shouldn't be with you."

just by the look in your eyes, as well as the tears you let fall, heeseung knew that you were no longer being spiteful with him. though the two of you had argued badly in person, it's only gotten this bad through text. but even so, this was worse. and even though he knew what you were saying was said genuine, he kept searching your eyes just for another second, hoping there was some sort of evil intent. or some sort of lie.

but there just... wasn't. your eyes only looked back in his with pain. you felt a lump forming in your throat while looking back. his eyes scanning yours for something more was only making it hurt more. but every ounce of you was tired. daily arguments, daily disrespect, daily disregard for your feelings is making your mental health crumble. if you didn't leave now, you were sure you'd never be able to. but aside from that knowledge, this is also your brain telling you that, if he fights for you now, it's worth fixing.

"yeah," heeseung said with a sigh after juggling the pros and cons of breaking up, the pros weighing hundreds more. "maybe you shouldn't." he took a few steps back while you only looked at him, eyes widened while your heart only broke into pieces at his words. you didn't dare let out an audible sniffle, stopping anymore tears from falling so as to not show him that this was genuinely breaking your heart.

"uh, guys? i don't think this is the place to be doing that," you and heeseung's head turned to see jake sitting on the couch, phone in one hand while the other held one of his airpods that he'd taken out of his ear. you don't even know why that replaced your sadness with anger. and you didn't know why it made you mad at jake. how embarrassing is it to be broken up with in front of your boyfriend's friends.

"shut the fuck up, jake."

you turned back to heeseung who was looking at you with the same surprised expression. since when did you guys say shit in sync? he let out a bitter laugh while jake got up, quietly excusing himself so as to not cause anymore tension. you rubbed your arm awkwardly avoiding eye contact once reality set in again. heeseung noticed this and his heart fell once again.

"god, y/n," he said, pulling you into his embrace, your face buried in his chest. he had one arm protectively around your back, the other on the back of your head caressing it slowly. "you don't know what you're doing to me." you could hear the crack in his voice as he rested his chin on top of your head. you've never seen him get emotional, yet alone hear it.

"i'm sorry, i don't wanna break up."

"i don't want to, either."

"can we just go home and pretend everything's okay? even if it's not?"

"of course, baby," he said, grabbing your hand, leading you to the door.

"you can't seriously be mad at me right now!" heeseung screamed following closely behind you. you ignored him, your stomping getting louder as you got closer to your room. luckily the door was open from when you left it open earlier, so it was easier for you to (at least attempt to) slam the door on him had his hands not been so quick. "y/n, stop ignoring me. i swear to fucking god."

"stop following me," you said, your tone as cold as ice as you made a quick u-turn walking out the room, but not before trying to pull it shut on him. he quickly reopened it, groaning frustratedly. "stop trying to shut doors on me, i'm tryna talk to you!"

"fuck you, i don't wanna talk," you said, journeying your way into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator door with unnecessary force as you angrily looked around for something- anything to drink.

"so you're just gonna keep ignoring me?!"

"seems like it!" you said, slamming the fridge door shut again you begin to walk away from him, only stopping when you feel him harshly tug at your arm, making you turn around to face him. to say you weren't still attracted to him, even though all you could see was red, while looking at him would be a lie. you could see his once fluffy bangs sticking to his forehead like glue from the sweat he worked up while chasing after you, complimented by the rosy redness of his cheeks and his chest heaving only a little bit abnormally while he got his breathing under control.

if you hadn't seen what was on his phone, you would've fallen back into his arms, cluelessly and willingly letting him sweet talk his point across. maybe it could've been something petty that you two would be able to have gotten over, or just a petty argument that you two would have set your prides aside for. but it wasn't. and it won't be, no matter how much you wished it were.

"look, i don't know what you saw on there, but whatever it was doesn't give you the right to go through my phone."

is that why you've gone out of your way to face your phone downward everytime we're together? is that why you've been voluntarily leaning away from me to answer your phone every time it vibrates? is that why you were bugging me nonstop asking me if i had anything to tell you? because you knew you had something to tell me? because you were so guilty, that you wanted there to be a possibility that i would have the same shame you did?

there were so many questions you wanted to ask. and so much you wanted to say. and you had genuinely thought earlier that if you were angry enough you'd be able to cuss him out about it. or start a whole new elaborate argument, over literally anything, for you to hit him with the information you found so you could have the upper hand before kicking him out.

but you weren't angry. maybe you were before, not anymore. especially not when you face him and look him in the eyes. not when he's looking at you as if you needed to be the one apologizing for going through his phone. like you needed to cooperate with him, now. not when it's as serious as this. and especially not when it's hurting you this bad.

your mind and heart raced as you looked at him, not wanting to say anything just yet because you knew whatever you'd say to him would be what you were really feeling. and if there's anything you hated, it's having people know that they've gotten under your skin or hurt you. and that's exactly what he did, maybe worse than that. "can you please say something?" he begged, the desperation being more than clear on his face and in his tone.

"am i not good enough for you?"

his eyes widened, then softened. his once tight and firm grip on your arm loosened as you retracted it back to your side where it belonged. you could tell he knew exactly why you asked that by the way he struggled to find the words to say. but what was there to say that wouldn't contradict his actions. "y/n... that was before we got back together. it only happened because... i only did that because i thought we were seriously going to break up. you know i'm not like that."

then what are you like? tell me. why are you still texting her, heeseung? why have you been texting her for months, going to her every time we have issues? why is she so comfortable telling you she'll be ready to pick up the pieces i leave behind the second we call it quits for real?

"you're giving her false hopes at a relationship," you sniffled, not being strong enough to confront the more important questions your body kept screaming at you to ask. he bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head.

"no, i didn't," he said defensively. "i told her i didn't know when we would break up. but that was only because she was asking if we'd be breaking up soon!"

"that's giving her false hope, you asshole!"

"how the fuck is that giving her false hope, y/n?!" he raised his voice, running his hand through his hair. "it's not like we're going to be together forever at this rate! i can't keep doing this back and forth shit with you, and i definitely can't keep doing this on and off, and blocking each other every other day shit, either. i'm tired of pretending like this relationship is still fixableㅡ like this is still worth saving."

"so why can't you just fucking leave me?!"

"because i don't know how!"

"so you just keep another girl on the sidelines in hopes that i leave soon so you can immediately move on?!"

"i already fucking told you it's not like that! she's just a friend!"

"i don't think friends are supposed to tell you they'll be “ready to pick up the pieces i leave behind the second we call it quits for real”, heeseung! i don't think you should be telling your friends to call you because you think we're “done for real this time”."

"well what else am i supposed to do? am i supposed to lie and tell you that i don't want you anymore? am i supposed to stop crawling back to you the second you give me the opportunity to? why do you think i'm here right now?! why do you think i'm still trying to love you!"

because you feel bad and pity me?

"why?"

"because i actually love you! and no matter what, i will continue to choose you over anybody any day. even if she loves and treats me better in months than you have in years, i will never look in her direction as long as you're in mine, y/n."

somehow even after all the wrong he's done, he still makes your broken heart beat faster at his words. his words were so sickeningly sincere. he genuinely felt like he loved you, afterall he was more than willing to go through the same draining cycle again and again with you every time you asked for him back. that was enough to prove it right? he held out his hand, silently begging for yours, and for a second you were almost trapped under his spell again, but you knew better. you stepped back and shook your head at him.

"no. this isn't love anymore." it isn't love. and i know it. no matter how hard i try to push this aside, or try to excuse it, it hurts too much to. i can let a lot of things go when it comes to us, but not this. not when you've already opened your heart, emotionally, for another girl to make her home. i just can't do it.

you wanted to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out of your mouth, instead they showed through your eyes while he kept searching them for something anything! any kind of doubt or second thoughts that he could twist and rethread to make you stay one last time. if you could show any signs of not wanting to let go, he could talk it into you and be better this time! he could cut her off without any last word and fix everything.

"no. no, no, no, no, no, no. please don't say that. we can fix thisㅡ"

"but aren't you tired of pretending like this relationship is still fixable? like it's still worth saving?"

"fuck! i only said that in the heat of the moment, i didn't mean it, please. i can fix this. please just don't let me go, y/n. i love you so much, you know this. and you know you love me, too."

your heart hurt too much to even reply to him at this point, all you could do was shake your head while you looked any and everywhere else but his eyes. by now his tears were falling, too. he knew now that he had become the shitty boyfriend. and no matter how bad you were in his eyes, you were no longer just as bad as he was. a sigh left his lips as he searched for the last piece of unsureness in you. maybe you were right. maybe it wasn't love anymore.

"fuck, i'm sorry, y/n. i really am. i don't know why i keep making these dumb ass mistakes. i don't know why i keep doing this shit when i know it hurts you. i don't know why i led her on when i knew that no matter what happens i wouldn't be able to let you go. i don't know what i'm supposed to do without you. i can't see a world without you in it. you still mean everything to me, i really don't want to lose you."

"please, heeseung," your voice was barely above a whisper, and even though you genuinely didn't want to look him in the eyes, you knew this was the only way to communicate it. "just go, you've done enough. i wish you two the best, we've been holding onto this too long. i can't force compatibility anymore."

he fell to his knees in desperation, grabbing onto your hand as he looked up at you putting aside all the pride he had left. "you don't mean that. we're not forcing anything! i promise i'm gonna change. i'll do anything, you can't let me go!"

you sighed, grabbing his hand with your other one, helping him get back on his feet. "thank you for being my first love but, at this point, that's all you can be. no love is worth this amount of pain. now, please leave. i can't handle any more of this. i love what you were able to bring into my life, but your heart doesn't belong to me anymore."

he took his hand back, looking up to blink back any other tears that were threatening to fall. "i'm sorry.," was all he could muster up before he finally walked out of the kitchen, then out to the living room and front door and ultimately out of your life. as if your heart couldn't break anymore, you felt the pieces break into shreds while you walked into your room.

by now you had no tears left to cry, so all you could do is stare at the ceiling, deep in thought while you hopedㅡ prayed for your roommate sunghoon to come in and comfort you. as bad as today was, at least life had the decency to call him into your room to let you cry onto his chest until you were ready to open up about the heartbreak.

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