#and then i actually read the lyrics and paid attention to the words in the song. and went ohhhhhhh

[purecommemasolitude]

(for context i haven't watched dracula, l'amour plus fort que la mort yet but)

sometimes i recollect about how it took me AGES to figure out that en transe... ylvanie the "en transe... ylvanie/un transe se maquille" and also the title were about a trance ("in trance... ylvania/a trance is forming" essentially) and it wasn't a song saying that all vampires are transgender

[cowgirlcherrie]

college! abby headcanons

 ⊹༝̩̩̥͙ ༓༝̩̩̥͙

warnings: 18+ MDNI, contains both fluff and a smidge of smut, strap, touching, petnames, cursing, weed, Ellie n Abby are friends in this, suggestive in some parts

a/n: no bc I actually drooool at the thought of college abby, so here are some head-canons I have for her, feel free to request in my ask box for ellie or abby, maybe even both, my asks box is always open so don’t shy away from sending what you want to see, but other than that, reader is CANONLY black in this, so some of the points kind of cater to a black! reader specifically (like descriptions etc) but I hope you enjoy this, much love always

༓ Oh my gosh don't get me started, college Abby is literally different

༓ Actually is succeeding academically, she is crazy smart and her GPA is high

༓ a lot of it stems from the fact that she hates letting new people into her circle, so she has grown a comfortable balance in her campus social life

༓ Always has her headphones in, that's her silent way of saying don't talk to me

༓ So many people have a crush on her but she literally does not careee

༓ The first time she met you though, she was willing to bend her no new friends rule, but you weren't exactly new

༓ Abby didn't realize how little she paid attention until a particular afternoon, when you walked up to the lunch table, that sat herself, Ellie (her roommate), and Ellie's girlfriend Dina who happened to be yours.

༓ Your appearance is what struck her, lips parting at the sight of you, practically drooling at the table. Ellie could only smirk from Abby's left watching the girl's brain combust at the sight of you. Your hair was braided, with your edges swooped softly, glossed lips, and stacked bracelets on your wrist. The colors of your outfit complimented your skin really well making making Abby suddenly feel hot.

༓ Your voice too! oh, Abby was heated, it was soft like butter and silk, the way you annunciated your words with a faint accent to them.

༓Abby watched the way your hips moved as you walked away from the table, you cutely waving at everyone including herself.

༓ "Who was that" Abby rushes, snatching the headphones off of her ears and pulling out the Instagram app on her phone to quickly type your name in with ease.

༓ "Really Abby it's been 4 months, that's my roommate y/n, and before you ask, yes! they’re gay"

༓ Oh Abby is and was obsessed with you, she always wanted you to be around and would even ask if you would join them when the group was hanging out

༓ "Oh my god, just fuck already" Ellie moaned in annoyance rubbing her temples, "Both of you are pissing me off"

༓ Anonymous tip masc2masc, Ellie basically told Abby that you were just as heated about her as she was for you, and that was like music to her ears.

༓ Abby works out all the time, no doubt

༓ the type to use the pull-up bar, with one hand, while reading with the other

༓ Abby is an R&B enjoyer, smooth jams, 90s classics

༓ totally listens to Brent Faiyaz, not because she's toxic or anything she just likes his music

༓ You were a bit thrown when she turned on Aaliyah and Ginuwine and she actually knew the lyrics word for word

༓ Abby does end up joining a sports team, either lacrosse or soccer, maybe even both when she feels ambitious

༓ Abby comes to Dina's dorm looking for Ellie only to be met by a tired you opening the door, in both a bonnet and your pajamas. Even when you weren't wearing any makeup you looked beautiful to her, she was infatuated.

"Ellie here?" Abby cleared her throat scratching at the back of her neck, her hair was free from its usual braid, flowing down her back in uniform as she wore a black hoodie that clung to her body just right, and black basketball shorts to match.

"Abby you speak?" you questioned, having to pinch yourself a few times to see if it was a dream.

"b'quiet pretty, answer the question"

༓ Abby must have been lucky that night, because not only were the two sleeping but that now left you and herself alone at the ripe hour of 10:30pm

༓ That night resulted in you tangled in Abby's sheets while her name left your mouth. Abby got a rise out of hearing you scream it, not caring about the curfew that the dorms had in place that might even result in her getting a noise complaint from the RA's.

༓ "you━ look so...pretty under me"Abby grunted out sparsely between each stroke that she gave you with her strap, her face was by your ear to whisper every little thought she's had about you inside, "mmm━ fuck... d-do you know how long I waited for this sweetheart"

༓ definitely doesn't one night stand you, y'all start exclusively seeing each other after that night and Abby doesn't hear the end of it from Ellie

༓ Abby, like Ellie, is so touchy with you that it serves as a way for her to tell you that she's right there with you without verbally saying it.

༓ Definitely keeps one hand on your thigh

༓ When you see her after doing well on a quiz or exam she always tells you that she "has a treat for you" which is really just an endless night of her fucking you.

༓ Believe it or not, Abby actually does go to the library, considering that recently the dorm has gotten loud (by loud, weed loud...Ellie) she does all her work in the library to avoid succumbing to cyphing with Ellie, which she can't because she gets drug-tested for sports.

༓ Only late to class if she doesn't like the professor

༓ Dina is letting her in all the time while you're sleeping and she just sits next to your sleeping body, rubbing her ring-coated fingers across your cheeks as she browsed the internet

༓ captain and leader of the 'u up?' text club

༓ considering that Abby braids her own hair, she is determined to learn how to braid yours as well so she can help you with your protective styles

༓ literally such a good girlfriend and academic god in one, Ellie and Dina were surprised it took the two of you 4 months to actually meet .

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Message My Heart {One Shot}

Lewis Hamilton x Famous Reader

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst, Some Fluff, PLENTY OF WORDS,

Words: 8.2k

Summary: You are a famous and jaded singer. You’ve closed yourself off from others and even experiences. However, one unexpected comment changes everything.

Note: Let's pretend we all can't recognize or man in .2 seconds from a super pixelated shot of his forehead alone. Let's pretend that we never followed this man a day in our lives. LOL

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~

You'd posted this on a whim, as a joke and nothing serious. It was a night you should have been kept away from your socials, a night of heavy drinking, illicit smoke passing your lips, and hours and hours of dancing until your legs were sore and the bottoms of your feet were numb. A night of laughs, tears, anger, and joy. A night all in the hopes of forgetting the loneliness of your existence.

Though you were never alone you always felt it. You were always surrounded by at least 10 people at any given time, always having someone snap your picture, scream your name, begging for an autograph, for you to smile, for you to pose this and that way, for a moment of your time, your voice, your heart, your life.

It was exhausting always being on display like you were 24/7 entertainment and not a person. Everyone believed you belonged to them and hence you had no right to privacy, no right to be human or left alone. Everything was always so intense and fast-paced, so sexualized and impersonal. You guessed it was the price to pay for the life you chose because of the vocal talent you possessed and oftentimes you believed you had no right to complain because you had chosen this, though you had no idea what this really was all those years ago.

You groaned, wrapped your fur blanket around your naked figure then took a heady sip of your mimosa. Then you scrolled through the comments underneath your post. You rolled past comment after comment of men giving you their sexual fantasies which ranged from mild to very depraved. You were beyond shocked that people would actually speak filth like this on social media for the world to see and not feel shame.

As you scrolled, you also noted how most of those sexual fantasies were deleted. That told you that your social media team was on it and doing the job they were paid handsomely for.

Your ringing phone drew your attention and without looking you knew it was your manager. You sighed then answered.

"Yeah."

"What were you thinking posting that? What did you think would happen?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Damn right you weren't. The ways that statement could be taken."

"It's not like it was meant the way it was taken! Look I am not going to apologize for the depravity and lewdness of most of the male population. I will not take responsibility for that, nor do I deserve you calling me to belittle me about it."

With that, you ended the call. He was on thinner ice than he'd ever been before. You were ready to fire his ass before but now you were past ready. Your anger tried to overtake you but you recited the mantra you'd learned from your Balinese getaway where had a strong spiritual awakening that made you confront just how bad a shape you were in.

It took 7 repetitions but at the end of them, you felt more rooted in your strength. You continued scrolling rolling your eyes at comments that were weird or cringe then your finger hovered over the screen as a particular comment caught your eye.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take you away from everyone who makes those beautiful eyes empty and sad so I can gently caress and love away the pain that shines through wrapped around the lyrics of every slow song you put out that your voice so hauntingly expresses to the world. I would just simply love you for all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be.

For a very long time, you sat there staring at the words in a complete daze. You sat there so long that you actually forgot to breathe. When your chest burned and your head got light, you gasped filling your lungs. You then read the comment again.

Holy shit, you thought.

Who was this person? So many things raced through your mind. Was this just some random person, some random response? Did they know you? How was everything he said so on point? They'd seen through your eyes. Heard the pain. Slowly you began hyperventilating but quickly you got yourself under control. Who was this?

You clicked their name but found their account on private. You contemplated messaging them but quickly decided against it. It was stupid to do.

So you went about your day fulfilling your obligations and doing everything you normally would. Smiled for the cameras, posed for pictures, signed endless autographs, chatted with fans, kept everything PC, shook hands, and gave the people what they so thought they were owed. Every bit of yourself.

However, as your day progressed and winded down you couldn't stop thinking about the comment, and the more you thought about it, the more your curiosity increased. So by the time you were on your way home for the night, you went back on social and sent a follow request before you chickened out, then closed the app.

Though you tried to forget it, you didn't. So as you ate dinner, watched TV, showered, did a little work then wrote some lyrics you had it in the back of your head. When you checked it you couldn't help but smile as you found your request had been approved. However not much was posted in the way of a face. There were plenty of animal pictures, landscapes, and abstract things but nothing to tell you who this person was.

So with nothing to quell your curiosity, you backed off of their page ready to close the app all together when a red '1' appeared indicating you'd received a message. It took all of 5 seconds for you to open it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Didn't imagine this would be the end of my day when I started it.

You smiled. Hell neither did you.

You: Me neither.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You thought about your possible response. You couldn't just tell the truth...could you? After some minutes you bit the bullet.

You: Why did you comment that?

You watched the three dots appear and disappear 5 times as you anxiously waited for their reply. You imagined all the things they could say, all the ways you'd possibly misread the situation and made a wrong decision. Just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, came a lengthy response.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I was just being honest and some more honesty would be that I've been following you for a long time and been a fan for about the same time and there is something about you. Something ethereal, something poetic and hypnotizing.

You: Ah. Another fan of my looks. Okay. I get it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: This has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your aura. To be truthful I am convinced you look 1000 times better without the layers of makeup and lashes. It cheapens your beauty. The glow around you has changed over the years. It began beautiful and golden and has morphed into copper, then rust, now it is barely visible and just a shimmery black as if you are a former shell of who you were.

Talk about a stab in the gut. You read their words over and over and thought back to something the Dali said in Bali. It was something similar, something just as profound. A shiver rushed through you producing goosebumps along your flesh.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I posted that comment because I saw you and wanted you to know it. I wanted you to know that while the world wants something--everything from you I want nothing but to give something to you.

The tears in your eyes made your lids heavy. You fought the inevitable struggling to keep them at bay.

You: And what's that?

The reply was lightning quick as if he knew you'd ask.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Safety and love.

That was it. That was all it took for your bottom lid to give up and release the floodgates. Your tears cascaded down your cheeks and they didn't stop for long minutes that turned into hours until you'd cried yourself to sleep.

~~~~~

-12 Weeks Later-

A stranger's kind words to a random drunken post ended up being a gift from the universe. Every time you talked which was every day now he put you at ease. It was like having the worst case of poison ivy that nothing soothed but that one salve you decided to try on a whim. He was that salve and every time you spoke his effect was one that mystified you.

Your moods improved, intrusive thoughts decreased, and depression staved off. Hell, even your outlook had changed. Once everything was bleak. You saw the worst in everyone and everything. You were Ms. Pessimistic always with the defensive wall because you expected everyone you encountered to be trash. Now, that outlook had changed and because of the chance you were giving him and him not fumbling it was slowly changing your mind about people.

When you asked him what his motives were, he simply said to be your friend because you looked like you needed one of those more than someone to tell you how beautiful you are or break your back. That answer floored you. Never had you had a man who wanted to be your friend as opposed to something else--something more.

So friends was what you became. He became one of your biggest supporters always cheerleading you on through social media. He was the ever-present positivity your negative mind craved. His light and vibe were contagious and soon they'd infiltrated your whole outlook. He even got you into jogging, which you hated. Every morning at the ass crack of dawn you were jogging together sending snapshots of the view you were zipping by, short text messages throughout, and even voice messages.

You often decompressed together either watching a movie, playing against one another on gaming platforms, or just doing the same activities in your own towns. Through it all, you still didn't know what he looked like still didn't know who he really was and though you were curious, you also were afraid to rock the boat.

When your friends found out about him they often badgered you into figuring out who he was. They even offered to do a deep dive investigation on social to figure it out. You knew they could crack the case in a few hours but again the fear told you not to.

"What are you afraid of?"

It was a good question that one of your best friends, Alaana, asked as you sat with both of them in your theater room watching the latest release on Netflix. Twiddling your fingers, you avoided her eyes.

"Do you think he's a perv?"

Your other friend, Takia, gasped as she shot upright. "That he's a catfish?"

"Who is he catfishing as? She doesn't even know who he is let alone if he looks like who he says he is," Alaana pointed out.

"So what is it? Afraid he's butt ugly?"

The two cackled together as if they were the best stand-up comedians alive while you gave them your best unamused expression.

"Just tell us," Alaana whined.

"Rocking the boat."

They stared at you in confusion which made you even more frustrated. With a kiss of your teeth and a sigh you continued.

"Disillusionment. What if finding out who he is or what he looks like rocks the boat and destabilizes everything? What if things change and not for the better? Like I have no idea how this man I know nothing about was able to--"

"Bring back the Y/N before you got famous and jaded?"

The three of you nodded and sat there in silence for a few moments as if giving that silence to your former self as a show of sorrowful recognition.

"He hasn't even done anything. He's just been...there."

"The universe usually brings us what we need at the time we need it. What if he is what you need?"

"I've thought about that the last few weeks. I don't know how but somehow the way I think of him has changed. I daydream about him and get giddy when I think of him. I don't remember this with anyone else and it's weird because I don’t know him in the slightest."

"You like him," Takia accused.

"I don't know him."

"Girl, please. You've been talking to this man every day for the last 3 months. Every day. You know his routine, know his likes, dislikes, and dreams. You know him so just take the next step. Maybe you guys can make things work past friends. His first initial message to you was that he would love away the pain and love all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be."

Hearing his earliest words spoken made goosebumps skirt across your skin. They still affected you, still made you weak.

"No lie at first I thought it was creepy but seeing how pure and innocent it has turned it doesn't make me cringe anymore. I think at least find out who he is then decide."

"What if he's some normal guy who is like a doctor or teacher?"

"Would that make you think twice?"

"Normal people don't do well in this world. It's hard to understand and adjust to."

"Or maybe he is in this world."

"Making anything work in this world sucks especially if they are already in it."

"Which is the more appealing one?"

Just then your notifications went off. Checking it, you found a new message from him.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I'm sorry I'm on a business trip and it has been a crazy day. I'm all yours now. How are you?

You smiled and typed out a reply.

You: No need for sorries. I can't expect to have you all to myself 24/7

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: And why not? It's nothing short of what you deserve.

Lite fluttering butterflies took over your stomach making you burrow deeper into the couch.

You: So are you saying if I want you 24/7 then you're mine?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Even if you don’t want me I’m yours.

"Oh my god," Alaana squealed.

Glancing back, you found Alaana peeping over your right shoulder and Takia over your left. Both had literal heart eyes.

"Ask for a picture," Takia badgered.

"Tell him you'll send one too," Alaana backed up.

Shaking your head, you chewed your bottom lip trying to stick to your guns though the curiosity was killing you. Just then, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Scared you off?

You chewed more intently on your bottom lip as you thought over his words. You weren't scared in the slightest.

You: It takes more than that to scare me.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Good to know. So the real question is, could you--would you want me?

Seconds later, an image came through and you sat there dazed staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes you'd ever seen.

"Wooooow," Alaana and Takia said in unison.

"That there is a beautiful man," Takia added.

She was right. Though you could only see his eyes you could see that they were kind eyes and kind eyes said a lot about someone. It had been a long time since you'd looked into a pair of kind eyes and now faced with his, you wanted nothing more than to stare into them for the foreseeable future.

"Holy Shit," you exclaimed.

"Right. Girl, I can tell he fine. I can tell these things. You can see it in the nose bridge. That's a nose bridge of a fine piece of man," Alaana said.

"The nose bridge? Come on Lana, I would have said the eyebrows and the lashes. Like, did he go to the lash bar or something? I'm jealous," Takia added.

You heard them but nothing was registering. His eyes held you captivated.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take your time. I'll wait.

And wait he did. Your friends booed you for not answering with a resounding "hell yeah", but you didn't let it phase you. Tucking your phone away, you tried your best to focus on the rest of the movie while ignoring the big elephant trunk sticking out of your phone as if to remind you what was happening in it. You didn't need the reminder. Your mind was already thinking and overthinking the exchange.

By the time your friends had gone to sleep it was almost 2 in the morning and no matter how you tried, sleep evaded you. So with your phone in hand, a bottle of wine in the other you trekked to the pool and set yourself up. It took less than 5 minutes for you to end up back on your messages. 6 hours had gone by since his last message. 6 hours you'd left him on read. 6 hours you'd thought about his words. You pressed the audio record button then sighed.

"Even before you sent that picture...I could and would want you."

Your finger hovered over the send button and it was fear again that stood in your way. So as you did 12 weeks ago, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pressed send. After, you dropped your phone on the lounger, grabbed the bottle of wine, and took a hearty gulp of the sweet red liquid. This brand had a higher alcohol content than most of your whites which meant it would be the best 'no thinking' wine for you. It would make it easy to relax and just exist in the moment. You leaned back and gazed into the sky. You were far enough away from the lights and glitz of the city that you could see the stars and tonight you were glad for it.

Releasing a sigh of contentment, you realized it had been years since you felt this calm. It was easy to get lost in the view which is what you did. By the time your notifications went off again, you'd had half the bottle of wine. It was a voice message.

His normally deep voice was even deeper now. He sounded as if he'd just woken up or was very intoxicated and in the mood for nothing but sin. You pressed your knees together as a sensation you hadn't felt in years washed over you--desire. Who in the fuck was this man to have this power, you wondered incredulously.

"Wow. I honestly didn't expect you to reply. I'm pleasantly surprised."

Smiling you took another mouthful of wine.

"Sorry it took so long."

"It's all good. No need to apologize. I understand you better than you think."

"How exactly? You've never met me."

"I actually did, once. It was in passing and I guess I didn't make an impression so..."

Your eyes bugged as you wracked your brain trying to figure out if you'd seen his eyes before. There was no way you'd forget eyes like those.

"Trying to think over all the people you've met through your life to see if you remember me?"

He sounded amused.

"I was trying to figure out how I could not remember eyes like yours. Since I don't think it's possible I'm going to say you're full of shit."

The recording that came next put the biggest smile on your face and set those butterflies flapping again. His laugh was a thing for masturbation.

"Real talk though."

"So safe to say you're not a teacher or CEO of some major company."

"Ha, no not a teacher. As for a CEO of some major company...that's pretty accurate."

You continued to think over who he could possibly be but nothing was sticking. The only thing that was sticking was more and more curiosity and confusion.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: As I said before. You'll know when you're ready and when you are ready...really ready for me I will be there.

You stared at his words. They were words he’d sent before. Words he'd patiently abided by. Words he apparently meant. Your heart in your chest purred as of it were blissfully soothed and content. Staring back up at the stars you gaped in wonderment.

"Wow."

~~~~~~~

-4 Weeks Later-

You: I'm ready.

You stared at the message you'd sent 30 minutes ago. You couldn't believe you'd mustered up the courage to send it let alone actually meant it. In the last 16 weeks, there had been more than enough things that were working for him than against him. He was kind, funny, patient, funny, gentle, honest, gracious, spoke of his faith in things in such a way that instilled faith in you. You'd gone from not seeing the point in continuing if emptiness was all that awaited you to wanting the next day to come so you could experience new things through and with him.

Takia asked you a week ago if you'd fallen in love with him and though you were apprehensive to give her any response your heart lurched and thudded even more strongly within your chest. Since then, you'd thought even more about meeting him.

Today you woke with a stronger desire to meet him, touch his skin and see if he smelled how you imagined, like vanilla, cedar, spiced and fragrant musk, an open field of lavender, and lemon thyme and ripe citrus. You just wanted to be in the same room to see if you were romanticizing a stranger for his kind words or if there was really something there.

"You'll be late if we don't leave now," your new manager Iyla said.

Since firing your old manager and having Iyla come in who was always in his shadow because of how obnoxious he was you'd felt better and better about your career. She'd really stepped up in the past few weeks and showed you what you already suspected, that she was good at what she did and was a much better fit for you.

Once you were out of the hotel and in your car on your way to the venue you were set to perform at, you harmonized your new song trying to make sure you had everything right. It was partly because of how much of a perfectionist you were but also to distract yourself from the silence on his end from your message.

You tried not to think that he'd seen it and left you on read or that he was not on the same page as you anymore or that he'd changed his mind about you. There were so many thoughts and possibilities running through your head that work was the only way to quiet them.

20 minutes later you arrived at the Versace show where you were going to perform. This would be a first where live music was used for the models to walk the runway rather than backtrack. When Donatella had approached you with the idea you leaped at the chance. Half of your closet was filled with Versace so there was no way you'd pass this up.

"This is so iconic," Iyla said as she readjusted your altered vintage Versace dress. The material fit you like a glove and accentuated all your striking features.

"You will be the first ever to perform at a Versace show, hell any show that isn't the VS shows. You are about to break into another layer of this atmosphere, forget the stratosphere," Iyla said with a wide smile.

There was something about her that always made you comfortable. Her vibe always gave off excited and caring big sister and you loved that.

"Are you nervous?"

You wiggled your hand to show her how in the middle of the fence you were.

"Don't be. You look amazing and we already know your voice is sublime. Talk about an Indica trip."

You smiled already feeling calmer. As you walked the black and gold carpet you smiled for the cameras and did a few interviews. Overall everyone was looking forward to the performance and the show. Across the way, you heard a commotion. The photographers went into a tizzy and fans that were mingled together across the street looking on screamed. It sounded like a K-pop concert instead of a fashion show. People loved fashion but they didn't get this crazy for it.

Carning your neck you tried to see what the fuss was all about and instead saw fans losing their ever-loving shit.

"Oh my god, it's Lewis Hamilton," one screamed.

You'd heard the name plenty of times but you'd never paid much attention. All you knew was he was British and did some kind of sport. You watched on as he stepped up on the carpet and posed in his all-black outfit. You watched on for a few moments curious as to what all the hype was. He was too far away for you to make out much of his features but from what you could make out, you had to admit he was attractive.

Though you felt Iyla tapping you to tell you it was time to move you couldn't. There was something about him that was so captivating. Alas, you had a performance to kill. You turned and saw Donatella approaching you with a huge smile.

"You look even better than I thought you would."

"That's kind. Thank you but I am only the vessel for this beautiful piece of art you've created."

The photographers screamed for you both to pose so they could get the shot and that is what you did for almost a full 10 minutes. No amount was good enough for them, they wanted more and more and more.

"Ah, Lewis. Come, come, come. Join us!”

You spun and found the same man from a few minutes ago approaching. His smile was wide as he looked at Donatella but when they shifted to you his smile slipped. At the sight of that for some reason, your belly sank. Did he know of you and didn't like you?

As quickly as the smile disappeared it appeared again. He embraced Donatella kissing both her cheeks as he exchanged pleasantries. You caught a whiff of a scent that couldn't be cologne. It had to be him. It was strong but not in an overpowering way. Though he didn't stand too close to you, you could catch notes of spiced wood, and rich floral undertones that smelled as if fragrant flowers had been gently smoked over a fire to unlock their deeper fragrance. He smelled good--mouthwatering even.

Donatella turned to you, "Do you know Y/N? Have you met?"

Your eyes met and instantly the feeling of familiarity washed over you.

"Uh--,” you began.

"No, I've never had the pleasure, Lewis said holding out his hand for yours.

You placed it in his palm and felt the familiarity shake you again in the form of a sharp but almost comforting jolt. Neither of you budged though.

"Are you sure? I swear I feel like I've seen..."

"Trust me if I had ever been properly introduced to you, I'd remember."

His eyes held you locked in place. There was something familiar about them but you knew you'd never met him before. He was right. You were sure you'd remember eyes like his. Lewis suddenly dropped your hand, then slipped to the other side of Donatella to take part in the photos. Then like a thief in the night he was gone. Who was that you thought to yourself.

As showtime approached, you tried to forget the strange encounter and the way your body came alive from his scent. The more you tried to forget the more you focused on it but instead of thinking of the man you'd just met you kept thinking about the one you'd been talking to for the last several months.

A notification came up, sending you to your DMs.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Ready for what exactly?

Seeing his message your belly fluttered. It truly had been a while since you'd had a reaction like this to anyone.

You: You know what. Ask me again.

30 seconds ticked by, then a minute, and the whole time you tried not to chew your lip. When another message came in, again your belly flipped.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Do you want me?

Seeing the rephrased question instantaneously brought up your anxiety. It was direct on purpose because he wanted an intentional answer. Not a possible or hypothetical one. Oh, you thought. This man was different from any other little boy you'd encountered and every fiber of your being said take a chance.

Unable to resist, you bit down on your bottom lip and chewed forgetting all about your plum-painted lips, and prepared to type your reply but before you could get a letter down Iyla called your name telling you it was showtime.

5 minutes later, you were backstage waiting for your cue. You would be the first to walk out and down the runway as if you were one of the models. You'd then take your seat and begin. You should have been nervous about it but you weren't, you were more nervous about the message you were about to send.

A few of the models gave you hugs and thumbs up for support just before the stage manager gave you a nod for you to go. Once you stepped through the threshold, you took note of just how many people were there. The creative director had done amazingly on the set and ambiance. The large pool in the center of the runway space really was a vibe. The audience instantly erupted in applause as you stuck your beginning pose for dramatic effect.

What a dream you thought as you took your first step down the sleek white platformed runway. There were plenty of little girls who dreamed of this moment and here you were living it. It had been a while since you were open enough to feel gratitude but here and now you felt it in full force. Another thing to credit the man who still hadn't revealed his name for.

As you walked you noted the plethora of celebrities that sat around the runway at their posh-looking garden tables watching every move you made. You saw singers, actors, models, and even athletes from varying fame levels. On your turn, you saw Dwayne Wade who was seated next to Lewis Hamilton. Both men gave you an appreciative and polite head nod as you passed. When you got to the end of the "U" shaped runway you stopped and the audience again applauded you.

Once you were seated behind the piano, you adjusted your microphone and got ready to get down to business. As the first chords of the piano played for the intro you fully gave yourself to the track. A few lines in and the models began walking showing off the art that had taken months to prepare.

The song you'd chosen tonight was new. It was something that had come to you since you'd begun your interactions in your DMs. It was softer than the songs from your last album which was quite heavy. The lyrics were flirtatious, the melody fun and soothing but it was still somehow all you.

20 minutes later you'd sang 4 new songs and was in the middle of a piano solo that would close out the show. When Donatella stepped out after the model precession went by, you added some flair to the solo giving Beethoven and Bach a run for their money. The audience clapped and whistled as you showcased your musical abilities, abilities that had gotten you your current fame and status. Upon the grand finale, you hit the perfect ending chords making Donatella laugh.

The two of you walked on either side of the line of models toward the center of the "U" shaped runway to meet and join hands. She gestured to you making the audience applaud and cheer. You did a dainty curtsy then motioned to Donatella and cheered loudly which promoted those around you to do the same. You stood there allowing the photographers to take pictures for a few moments. When you glanced down you realized you were standing directly in front of Lewis whose eyes were glued to you. The smile on his lips was soft and the look on his face was endearing. You wanted to ask why but you shook it off.

2 hours later after endless pictures, interviews, autographs, and tens of flirtatious men trying to either get your number, get you to give them your number, or convince you to leave with them for the night; you finally had time to yourself. You finished your glass of champagne, leaned on one of the 9-foot tall hedges, and scrolled through your phone.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this.

Smiling, you took a deep breath.

You: I want you.

You were sure of that now.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Are you sure?

You: Yes. I've spent the night having CEOs, oil tycoons, actors, models, athletes, artists, and men from every other profession you can think of flirt with me, attempt to spend the night with me, and try to create some sort of connection only to fail miserably because all I can think of is you and the fact you haven't once flirted with me or tried to convince me to spend the night with you.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I didn't know you wanted me to.

You: I didn't either. Now I do. I want you to. I want you to do all of that.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: What if I don't want to convince you to spend the night with me? Spending the night with you is the least of what I want to do with you.

You: What do you want?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I want your days. I want your afternoons. I want your trust. I want your honesty. I want your vulnerability. I want your mind. I want your heart.

Once again he'd stolen your breath.

You: And what do I get in return?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I will give you smiles. I will give you laughter. I will give you joy. I will give you honesty. I will give you my days. I will give you my afternoons, my nights. I will give you my loyalty. I will give you trust. I will give you vulnerability. I will give you my mind, my heart, and only when you are sure you can match me I will give you my body and all the passion and fire you can stand.

Wow, you thought.

You: I'm in Cannes for a few days. I fly out the day after tomorrow. How can we meet?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Depends. How badly do you want it?

You: I'm not thirsty or anything but a hard 9.

A voice message came through of him laughing. Then another.

"I'm glad you can hide your thirst but I won't. Not anymore. I'm at 100."

It was your turn to send a voice message of you laughing.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Glad you find my suffering funny. I'm currently in Cannes too. If you trust me enough we can meet tonight.

Your brows rose. He was in Cannes too? What a coincidence.

You: Tonight then.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Tonight.

You felt all sorts of giddy now. It overshadowed the nervousness that was trying to overtake you. Fifteen minutes later, as you left the fashion show venue, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Vieux Port, 12. Tell this to your driver and they will know where to go.

You smiled then attached a photo of yourself from the night and sent it.

You: Me now so you don't miss me

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Jeez. You're beautiful Y/N.

You: It is a bit unfair that I still don’t know your name.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: You'll know when you see me.

You dropped Iyla off at the hotel with an excuse of wanting to sightsee then you took the drive to the port. On the way you texted her the location you would be in case you bumped into trouble. With the window down, you relaxed into the scents of Cannes. Baked goods, salty sea air, citrus, and sand. It all smelled wonderful. You'd been here tens of times before but this was the first time you'd taken time for yourself to mellow out. You were in a completely different headspace than you were on previous trips and it felt so freeing.

15 minutes later, your driver pulled up to find 2 people, a man, and a woman, already waiting there. Your phone vibrated with a notification.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I sent Verona and Linus to escort you. They are waiting at the port. I promise you're safe.

Another message came with 2 pictures and vouching credentials. Sighing, you relaxed again. He had thought of everything. As you approached the two they smiled.

"Verona? Linus?"

"Yes. Ms. Y/L/N?”

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Please follow us we will take you to the vessel," Verona said.

As you walked behind them you couldn't help but wonder what vessel and how he'd pulled all this together in less than an hour. Who was he exactly? It took all of 3 minutes until Linus and Verona both stopped in front of a lavish yacht that looked like it was at least 3 stories.

"Whoa."

"Ms. Y/L/N, after you," Linus said with an outstretched arm pointing to the boarding plank ahead.

You stood there for several moments thinking about things again. Were you really going to get on this yacht with someone you’d never met before? Were you really going to be this trusting?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I had Verona and Linus provide your driver with the details of this yacht before he left. I've told him to give it to your manager so they know where you will be and how to contact authorities if you aren't returned safely. I’ve also asked them to check in with you every 30 minutes using a code word they choose. I don't want you afraid of me Y/N. If you are afraid I won't think anything of you turning around and we can try this another way, a more public way with your manager present. Whatever you're comfortable with.

You didn't know if it was game or not but his words calmed you. Maybe it wasn't his words and the fact that he thought ahead and provided these securities for you to feel safer. A call from Iyla came through then.

"OMG, Y/N. Wow. I have so many questions and I want all the details later but your code word is Calamari. I will call every 30 minutes."

She sounded excited and you had no idea why.

"Got it."

Just like that, she ended the call. Why was she so excited? You wondered if she knew something you didn't as you put your phone in your bag. With a breath, you crossed the plank and allowed a man dressed similarly to Linus and Verona to lift you onto the yacht.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. He is waiting on the top deck. Follow this hallway to the steps at the end and up you go," Verona instructed.

With a nod, you were off. As you walked you noted just how luxurious the yacht truly was. Did he own this? If he did he was possibly in or close to your tax bracket. You weren't sure if you should be happy about it or leery. If he was in your tax bracket it could mean he was a celebrity as well. At that thought you paused on the 4th step on the stairs.

You thought about celebs that you'd tried to get to know or date and cringed. All of them were slightly weird with quirks you couldn't handle on top of your schedule and responsibilities. A celebrity relationship took a lot and you didn't know if you could give any of it.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Y/N."

You took a breath and continued. When you reached the top of the stairs your jaw dropped. There were candles and flowers everywhere. Slowly you looked around and realized they weren't just any flowers, they were your favorite flowers.

"Oh my god," you whispered.

With a step forward you took in your 360 view and you knew that no matter who he was you wanted to try for him. As you looked behind you, you walked backward distracted by the beauty surrounding you. He'd somehow managed all of this in under an hour. Somehow he'd filled the entire top deck with all your favorite things. Your favorite flowers were covering every surface of the floor. Your favorite scented candles were lit and their scent wafting in the air. Your favorite snacks and treats lining the railing on the left. Your favorite fruit lining the right railing.

"He's really been paying attention," you softly said.

"Of course I pay attention. You're important to me."

You stumbled to a stop but kept your back to the voice. You recognized his voice. You recognized it from your messages and even tonight. Suddenly, everything swirled in your mind as it slowly came together.

Hi, Y/N."

You took a deep breath and turned. Your jaw dropped while everything fell into place as you looked into eyes you'd seen before this moment. They were eyes you'd looking into mere hours ago.

"I'm Lewis."

He smiled and your heart skipped a beat but words escaped you. He didn't speak again, he waited with his hands clasped behind his back. He wore the same full black outfit from earlier but he looked even better in it now with the candles and flowers as his backdrop.

"I--you--oh my god. You're--”, you began.

"Blessedbeyondmeasure44? Yes, I am."

The silence stretched for a long moment before you snorted.

"Bullshit."

Lewis chortled in return then let out a chuckle.

"I've said it before but God I love that you have no censor and say the first thing that comes to your mind."

Your eyes bugged. He had said that before.

"No. You're not."

Lewis smiled and took a few more steps to you, "How can I prove it to you?"

"Prove?"

You wracked your brain trying to make sense of this and come up with a way he could make you believe this.

"What was the first thing I said to you in DMs?"

Without hesitation, Lewis spoke, "After you sent a follow request I said I didn't expect that this was how my day would end and you said me neither."

You raised a brow. "What was the last thing we did together?

"We went to the beach. You went to Crystal Cove in Laguna Beach and I went to La Concha because I was in Spain at the time. You sent me a beautiful picture of a cave and said it was one of your secret spots. It was called--.”

"Dana's Point," you finished as he proved his point.

"I can show you the messages, and our pictures including the one you sent earlier so I wouldn’t miss you. I wouldn't miss you though Y/N. You stand out no matter what."

He took another step to you leaving only a few inches between you. He reached out and took your hands.

"I have missed you though. I've missed you in so many moments that I wished you were with me, so many experiences I wished I had with you. I missed you every time a message of yours came in. I even missed you in my dreams."

You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek while staring into his eyes.

"I knew I saw those eyes before. I felt it."

Lewis smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this in front of those cameras and the crowd. I'm sorry I wasn't 100% truthful."

You smirked.

"Your message."

Lewis cupped your cheek in return. "Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes--," he paused then cupped your other cheek. Using his thumbs, he softly slid them across your cheekbones. "Your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this."

Tears welled your eyes and you scoffed.

"Now you flirt with me."

A chuckle fell from his lips and if you hadn't fallen for him before you definitely had now. You hung your head and shook it.

"I am so stupid. This whole time."

"You're not."

"You're Lewis Hamilton. I am sure any other woman would have recognized those eyes. I had no clue. Hell, I don’t know the first thing about you, not really. Yeah, you're a racer but other than that..." you shrugged.

Lewis lifted your head his hands now cupping your skull. It put you on high alert at just how large his hands were. "Hey, love that you had no clue. I love that you don't know me. It was refreshing. I loved these last few months of you knowing me and me knowing you without the extra stuff."

"We know the extra stuff now. Oh my god, from the ruckus on the carpet of the Versace show you're a huge celebrity. How in the world---."

Before you could continue your freak-out Lewis' lips were on yours. It was like you’d stuck your finger in an electrical socket. Your entire body came to life as if his touch was life itself. His soft lips slowly pressed against yours before he opened them enough to take your top lip between his. From there all thought escaped you.

When one of his hands slipped around your waist you moaned unexpectedly. Where had that come from? Your body had no trouble following along. You pressed yourself closer to him relishing the tingles that skirted across your lips and everywhere he touched. Just as you were going to sink your fingers into his braids, Lewis pulled away keeping his forehead to yours.

"Do you want me?"

His voice was low and deep and it wrapped around you pulling you closer to him.

"I-I don’t see how I can have you."

Again Lewis kissed you. This time he delved his tongue into your mouth wrapping it around yours, teasing you to open more for him. When you did it was because you moaned. He took advantage of that opening and kissed you in a way that said he was not letting you go. His moan melded with yours and you felt his other hand tighten as he held your skull. Tearing his lips away, he panted as harshly as you were.

"Do you--want--me? Because I want you Y/N. I want you even knowing the obstacles in our way. I want you more than I have wanted anything in a long time. I want you in ways that surprise me and make me year all at once. I'm not saying this will be a walk through the park. I'm saying I want to walk together with you from this night on. Do you want me too?"

He had to be kidding. Who in their right mind would say no after that? You snorted then laced your fingers together behind his neck thrusting yourself flush against him.

"I want you more than anything. I want you in my life. I want to really run with you though I hate it. I want to go to beaches together and have movie nights truly together. I want to see the same sunrise and sunsets you see. I want to touch your skin like this whenever I want instead of thinking about it. I want to smell you every day. Yes, Lewis. I want you too."

The look in his eyes held you in place as did the tightness of his arms that were now wrapped around your waist holding you possessively against him.

"I can't wait to give you the world Y/N," Lewis said in such a way you knew he meant every word.

"I don't need the world, nor do I want it. I just want you."

His smile was the cutest thing and you knew you'd never get tired of it.

"You have me. Next up...the world."

You smiled then giggled when he lifted you in the air and spun you around. You laughed louder loving the way the sound came from the very depths of you and how authentic it felt. When he put you down you were at the railing looking out to the ocean.

"Started from a DM now we here," Lewis said making you snort.

"Started from a DM soon the whole world will fuckin hear bout it."

Lewis threw his hands up.

"Ayyyy!”

You laughed loudly and soon he joined in. When he wrapped his arms around you again he gazed into your eyes but said no words. Slowly both of you moved closer until your lips softly touched. Neither of you moved. You took the time to savor the feel of your skin connecting in a way your minds and souls already had. A way that he had retaught you, a way that he so patiently and diligently worked for and it all started when he messaged your heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 16 - Prompt: Adore @pandalilymicrofics

February Daily Series - 799 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Lily was still reeling from Pandora’s disconcerting ability to switch to flirtatious after she’d looked so concerned, angry, or annoyed. It was startling to see her wide, innocent eyes become lidded and dark as her pupils blew wide with little provocation. She caught herself staring far more often than was polite.

When combined with Pandora’s visceral reaction to her fall, Lily couldn’t deny that there was something about her that felt almost…addictive. She wanted to stand closer to her even after she’d assessed that the logical choice would be to move away. They weren’t actually connected by an invisible string, after all.

Unfortunately, the desire to know everything about this woman overshadowed her distaste at her best friend — and his new cohorts — blatant attempts at matchmaking. Despite the reminder that this was all a set-up, Taylor Swift lyrics continued to tease the back of her mind. Lily was fascinated by her.

“So, Lily,” Sirius said, sidling up beside her with a sly grin. “Having fun?”

“The music hasn’t even started yet.”

“Yeah, but the festival is fun. Right?”

Lily folded her arms over waist and shrugged. “It’s alright. The festival hardly changes from year to year.”

He bobbed his head side to side with a noncommittal hum. This little performance was clearly well-rehearsed. Sirius’s nonchalance was anything but casual.

“What’s your favourite part so far?” he asked.

“The tent for the fudge shop.”

Remus perked up at the mention of chocolate. “Fudge shop? How did I miss that?”

“It’s on the other side of—” James started to explain, having just returned to drape himself over his boyfriend’s shoulders after greeting the DJ.

“Focus, James,” Sirius said under his breath, waving him away. He turned back around with a bright smile. “I adore a little drama myself, so the tarot card reader was my favourite. She was brilliant!”

Pandora jerked forward and grabbed Sirius’s arm. “Tarot? Where? Do I have time to find her before the dancing starts?”

“Hmm? Oh, I think so. She’s right there.”

Lily followed the path of his outstretched hand toward a small stall on the other side of the bandstand. It was covered with beautiful tapestries decorated with bold colours and tassels that parted in the centre to create a doorway. The hand-lettered wooden sign read, “Madame Trelawney, Psychic and Seer.”

“Oh! I have to speak with her,” Pandora insisted, striding forward purposefully while her skirt whipped around her ankles.

“Wait, wait!” Regulus called after her. He flailed within James’s unyielding hold. “I have to go with her or she’ll waste all of her money!”

“She’s an adult, love. It’s her money to waste.”

In the end, it was Regulus’s frustrated huff that won her over. Anyone who paid the slightest bit of attention to the pair could see that he and Pandora were close. In fact, Pandora seemed to value Regulus’s friendship over her brother’s, which Lily understood perfectly.

“I’ll go with her, Regulus,” she assured him.

Relief washed over his face. “Thank you.”

Lily lightly jogged after the eager blonde. “Pandora! I’m coming too.”

She was frowning when she spun around, but as soon as their eyes met, a slow, soft smile replaced it. Her steps hesitated long enough for Lily to catch up. Thankfully, she hadn’t bolted like last time.

“You want to hear about your future too?”

Absolutely not.

“Sure,” Lily said, flipping her plait over her shoulder. “Maybe she’ll see if I end up moving to London after all.”

Pandora’s smile bloomed beautifully. “Oh, yes! You must ask her about London.”

It was unlikely that “Madame Trelawny” could see the future or tell her anything useful about her life, but Lily knew better than to say that aloud. Perhaps she would try to keep an open mind. If only to show Pandora that she really didn’t mean to offend her beliefs.

“What are you going to ask her?”

“I always ask psychics the same three types of questions. The first is about my past and establishes their credibility. I’m not as naive as Regulus thinks. I know a charleton when I see one.”

Lily nodded, but didn’t interrupt. She hadn’t expected Pandora to acknowledge the possibility of a fake, let alone to have a method for exposing one. The more she learned about her, the more interesting she became.

“The second question corroborates the last reading I had with my personal psychic — who I trust implicitly — and the third is open to speculation. I think it’s interesting to see how each psychic interprets the signs or signals they receive,” Pandora explained.

“So, if two psychics saw the same thing, they might still interpret it differently?”

Pandora nodded, then pointed at Lily. “Exactly. Just like when two scientists review the same information and reach opposing conclusions.”

“Huh. Alright, consider me intrigued.”

Next Part>>>

[hoony-parker]

Hiii!! I was wondering if you could do a Steve x reader which is based of the lyric “as long as I’m here, no one can hurt you” where the reader is going through something and Steve is there to help her?? xoxo

a/n: i loved this, anon 😭❤️‍🩹 also, i changed the "no one" for "nothing" for the sake of the context bahaha. enjoy! <3

btw, the dreams i mention were actually dreams i've had lmao

warnings: none, ig? fluff and angst, not proofread (oops)

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

w/c: 1.9k (i just couldn't stop i'm so sorry)

steve could see right through you.

and he was very proud to say that he was the only person that knew you so well. of course that didn't come easily. he's had years of practice.

it came with being your best friend since you were sixteen, up until now, at nineteen years old, and now your friendship's developed into something more.

in reality, though, steve firmly believed he had some sort of gift when it came to you. he could almost feel whatever mood you were in radiating from your body and flying towards him.

it was like, apart from the cedar and apple scent he smelled on you every time you were near him, god, that intoxicating scent of yours, he could smell the mood you were in at that exact moment. and he'd swear to robin that no, it wasn't as creepy as he made it sound.

he really did believe he could tell when you weren't feeling your best. and it actually helped him make you feel better without having you tell him what's happening inside of that pretty head of yours, because he knows damn well you wouldn't tell him a thing.

he'd buy you flowers, offer to give you a massage, or even bring your favourite corny rom-com from family video to watch with you. no matter how much he hated the movie, he'd learn to love it with how many times you've made him watch it.

but, today, you were giving steve the silent treatment. not a single word heard from you since you've last spoken through the phone yesterday, and he couldn't help the little tingle he felt in his upper arms, the limbs growing numb in worry. he couldn't even explain the feeling.

last night you sounded just fine during your usual late-night phone call. should he have paid more attention to you? your tone? if you've spoken less than usual? how many pet names you've told him through the phone?

had he done something to upset you? 'cause, as good as steve was reading your expressions and your mood, he really had no idea what was going on with you.

so he drove directly to your house after his shift at work ended, grabbing the little ceramic turtle that laid beside your front door, a big, white-pearl smile on its lips that freaked steve out every single time, and was quick to grab the spare key that was hidden beneath, shuddering when he placed the small, greenish figure back down, and the brown eyed could have sworn he saw the damned frog's eyes following his moves.

he gave it a glare, opening the door carefully as not to make any noise in case you were sleeping, closing it behind him and locked it with the key, letting the key chain swing shortly, and took his shoes off and laid them under the coat rack next to the door.

your parents weren't home— something about an anniversary trip, he recalled you telling him— so he relaxed that he didn't have to deal with your dad interrogating him about what he had planned for the rest of his life with that stern look of his that made the little hairs in steve's arms raise. yeah, your father could be quite intimidating when he wanted to.

he climbed up the stairs, sock-clad feet barely making any noise against the wooden floor of your home, and he just begged to remember correctly which stairs squeaked so he could avoid them; you've always been a light sleeper.

he reached your room, your door completely closed, wich made steve frown. you never usually closed your door completely if there wasn't anyone home at all, and he was almost certain that you knew that you were home alone.

he softly turned the doorknob, pushing the door open, frown deepening when he found the curtains closed and a big lump under your covers.

steve walked towards your bed, sitting on the edge and put a hand over your sheet-covered body. "y/n's not here," your voice sounded muffled from under the covers. "leave a message after the sound."

steve chuckled. "how did you know it was me?" he asked. "it could have been a murderer, for all you know."

"saw your car from the window," you explained. "and i really doubt that freddy krueger has a 1981 BMW."

"hey, don't judge a book by its cover. the dude's a serial killer during the night, but he could be a car lover during the day," he said. "you're right. sorry for supposing," you said, still hiding under the covers.

he rubber your back, staying silent for a couple of seconds before speaking up. "were you sleeping? did i wake you?"

he saw your head moving repeatedly under the fabric, and he could only assume it was a shake of your head. "nuh-uh. woke up a while ago, though," you informed him, and he smiled rather sympathetically at the lack of energy in your voice.

he nodded in understanding, although you couldn't see him. "in a scale from one to ten, how weird was your dream?"

these were usually the kinds of conversations you had. you had the craziest dreams, and would always tell him what they were about. from you being a superhero fighting a gigantic blowfish that was attacking the earth, to buying weapons from your favourite rock star during a zombie apocalypse.

after learning this from you, he'd always ask you, on a scale from one to ten, just how weird your dream had been after a long nap you had taken. this time, though, his little, hopeful smile faltered when you stayed silent.

"sweetheart?" he asked, grabbing the edge of the covers. "can i see you?"

you didn't answer, and steve took the silence as a yes and uncovered you. you were curled up in a ball, laying in your pijamas and his sweatshirt covering your upper half. he looked quickly up to your face, noticing your exhausted look and the dark circles under your eyes. "angel," he cooed, laying down next to you.

you buried your face further into your pillow, bottom lip quivering and you had to bite it to stop shaking, your eyes squeezed shut.

steve took one of your hands, noticing how both of them were curled into fists, something he'd noticed you did whenever you felt anxiety. from the strength of your grip, after a while, your fingers would start aching, or you'd quite literally bury your fingernails into the palms of your hands. so, he took the hand that was resting agains the half of your body facing up, bringing it to his lips and placing soft kisses on your fingers and knuckles.

once he felt the tension leaving your hands a bit, he gently used his other hand to open your hand, massaging your fingers to help the ache in your muscles fade away. when he finished up with that hand, he pushed your shoulder carefully, signing you to lay on your back, so he'd have easier access to your other hand.

you obliged with a huff, opening your eyes to look at the ceiling. they were glazed over, steve noticed, filled with unshed tears that he determined to kiss away as soon as they fell.

he repeated his movements with your other hand, and he took both of your now relaxed limbs into his lap, pushing them together and rubbinf gently over the skin to replace the cold with a little warmth. "wanna talk about it?" he offered. you shook your head, turning to your side so you could hide your face in his lap.

steve accommodated, himself so you could lay more comfortably, and he run his fingers through your hair, sighing a little in concern. "don't feel like talkin' jus' yet," you told him, voice soft and vulnerable, and steve could feel his heart stuttering at the sound, at how small you sounded.

"that's okay," he said, combing his fingers through your hair, careful not to pull on any knots. he braided your hair, humming to a song he listened on the radio on his way to your house, and you even smiled a little at the sound.

steve hadn't noticed, though, busy working on your hair. you looked up from your spot on his lap, cheeks heating up at the mere sight of him.

even from down there, he looked so pretty— lips pursed and a gentle, almost non-existent crease in his brows in concentration as he continued to braid your hair with fine strands. they were a little messed up, some bumps and hairs out of place, but you appreciated the efforts nonetheless, heart swelling in affection.

you noticed he wasn't wearing the family video vest anymore. instead, he wore that yellow sweatshirt of his that you loved so much on him, and some blue, worn out jeans that sometimes hung too low on his hips and left little to the imagination as soon as he lifted his short from his body.

his hair looked tousled, and eyes almost as exhausted as you could only imagine looked yours, but you smiled at the sight anyway. he looked awfully pretty, and there was just something domestic about him taking care of you this way that left your head spinning, your mind dizzy and your heart fluttering.

he looked down, noticing your stare and your smile widened just slightly when you saw the tips of his ears turning a deep pink. steve smiled down at you, happy you found comfort in him and that he could lift your mood up at least a little bit, and he leaned down to give the tip of your nose a kiss that had you scrunching it up adorably, just the way that made steve want to grab you entirely and wrap himself around you under the covers and just stay there for the rest of eternity.

now you could feel a little more energy running up and down your body — it could've been the giddy feeling you had every time steve was around, too — but, either way, you sat up and quickly, without giving steve time to question your sudden motions, you sat on his lap, thighs wrapping firmly around his and, embracing him with a little more force than you had meant to, you accidently brought the two of you down to the mattress — not that steve was complaining at all.

he chuckled deeply, the vibrations of his voice resonating all the way to your chest, and you hugged him even tighter, face buried deep into the juncture of his neck. his arms wrapped all the way around your waist and back, big, calloused hands rubbing up and down your bag affectionaly. the warmth made you feel dizzy, and the way this man cared for you do deeply brought tears to your eyes, already emotional from your previous mood.

it seemed as if steve had noticed without even having to look properly into your face, the way you wrapped your arms tighter around his shoulders and how you nuzzled deeper into the skin of his neck had him bringing a hand to the back of your head, keeping you in place, where you hid and felt the safety you hadn't felt in the last couple of days.

he still hadn't gotten you to talk to him, but having you close and feeling safe with him wrapped around you was more than enough for now, and way more than he thought he was getting when he stepped into your home earlier that day. so, keeping this in mind, he hugged you closer, rolling the two of you to the side and bringing the duvet back on you, still caressing sweetly your hair.

he kissed your forehead a couple of times, lips moving against the skin as he spoke, the warmth of his breath spreading comfort to your body.

"as long as i'm here, nothing can hurt you."

[wildyonderwillows]

In My Company

Relationship: Billy Butcher x Reader Word Count: 3.9k+ Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of abuse Summary: Hiding from your past was something you got away with for years, that was until a vengeful Billy Butcher forced himself into your life. You struck a deal with the man, given it was either that or he ended your life, your pick. The deal entails taking down your family, something you weren't quite sure you could do. You were left with the ultimatum of choosing the life you once left behind for a new one with Butcher, who showed you what actual love was like. Which do you pick? The choice was yours, regardless of what you choose, both would have their own set of consequences.

Read the full first chapter of the fic here on my new archive!

The hospital monitor beeped a slow, steady rhythm. Mocking was what it was. Mocking what was left of the precious heart Butcher had loved for years. Mocking what was left of Becca’s life, which wasn’t much, according to the doctors but when have they ever known everything? They didn’t know she had fucking cancer eating heralive for the past two years until it was too late. They had no treatments for her. They didn’t know how to save her. They only knew when she was going to die. 

Four months was the diagnosis, but the reality was two. Two months of trying to make the most of it with Becca. Two months of repeatedly listening to the Spice Girls so much that Butcher was convinced he memorized every song, even when Becca would call him out for getting the lyrics wrong as he’d sing them to her right before she fell asleep every night. He always hated when she would sleep, even though she was always so tired, he was just afraid she’d never wake up again. Now part of him wished she died in her sleep, in their bed they shared together for years, in his arms where she was comfortable. He didn’t want her to go like this: hooked up to machines in a dull hospital room. It wasn’t right, none of this was.

“Hey,” Becca’s weak voice caught Butcher’s attention, taking him out of his thoughts as he locked eyes with her. She looked so tired, like she hadn’t slept in days, weeks even. “I’ll be alright.” Butcher wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe she was going to a good place, somewhere filled with angels, Jesus, God, all that good stuff, but he had very little faith now.

He kissed the hand he was holding, not wiping away the tear that slipped down his cheek. He wondered if he had paid attention sooner he would’ve noticed her getting sicker. Maybe all of this was his fault.

“I love you.” Butcher told her that statement every day but this time it felt different. Maybe it was because he knew it may be the last time he ever said it to her and he wanted her to go where she was going knowing he loved her. “I-I don’t think I can do this without you.”

Becca mustered up a small smile and it pained him to see how much it took of her strength for her to do something so casual. “I’ll still be with you, always.” He wanted to correct her and tell her she was wrong because she wouldn’t be here, not physically at least. “I love you so much Billy. It’ll be okay.” Butcher shook his head at her words, more tears falling from his eyes. 

How could everything be okay without her? Becca is his whole life. He didn’t want to let her go. Not now, not ever.

“I’ll be okay.” Becca reassured and he knew she wasn’t reassuring herself anymore. She had accepted her fate right from the start but Butcher didn’t. He didn’t care how crazy he looked yelling and threatening doctors, he didn’t want his wife to die. “You’ll be okay.” Butcher nodded in agreement but again, he didn’t believe her. “Promise me Billy. Promise me that you’ll be okay.”

Butcher took a shaky breath, his chest feeling tighter each time he sucked in air. “I promise.”

[luckyduck0]

☆midnight meet-cute☆

The light-sounding music playing on the speakers contrasted from the gloomy storm outside. Behind the counter of a coffee shop, Xen busied herself with a dirty mug while humming along to the rhythm. It was long into the night, and she had unfortunately been persuaded into a double-shift at work.

Now, with all but ten minutes of her shift, Xen was excited to finally leave. Not that her place of work was bad, it’s just, work is exhausting! Regardless of the kind! She tapped a little to the Christmas song, smiling a bit as she mumbled over the lyrics. This time of year was nice, when things were a bit less tense. Her teachers let up on the homework load, albeit just a little cause finals were coming up, and she could actually relax some.

Just her luck though, because of course a last-minute customer comes in.

The customer in question was a taller guy. His white hair a mess from taking his motorcycle helmet off. He wore a long white coat with a fur collar, which Xen found strange but not completely out-of-place. He walked up to the counter, his eyes trained on the menu above her.

Holding in a sigh, Xen put on her best customer service voice and greeted the boy.

“Welcome, what can I get you tonight?” Xen asked, straining a smile.

The boy looked at her, as if just now realizing she was there. “Oh, just a black coffee, please.”

“Of course.” She nodded, reciting the steps of making the order in her head. “Pretty brutal weather we’re having, right?”

The boy did a double-take and kind of awkwardly shuffled in place. “Uh, yes.”

Xen, reading the room, quickly turned away and focused on her task. Clearly the boy wasn’t interested in idle conversation, and Xen was not going to encourage it. Her co-worker already left all she wanted to do was go home and sleep.

Putting on the lid of the cup, Xen slid the drink toward the boy and rang up his order. He quickly paid without a word and left. And so did she, though she had to clean up the coffee machine. Again.

A few minutes later, Xen locked the front doors and stepped out into the windy storm. She threw on her hood and steadily walked down the city streets. She began the long trek to the subway station, as winter in this city was never kind, Xen almost slipped a total number of seven times.

Nobody was out on the streets at this time, at least not in this part of the city. But for some reason, Xen couldn’t help but feel a little on edge. Playing with the house keys in her pocket, Xen tried to calm herself. It was most likely because of nerves at being out so late. Nothing to worry about.

And she stuck with that, for all of about ten minutes.

Reaching the station, Xen waited by the platform and started scrolling through her phone. This was mistake number one, ie, not paying attention to her surroundings. Mistake number two was not acknowledging the distant crash sound coming from the subway tunnel. She’d glanced up but figured it was nothing, if not just some rats or something. Mistake number three was getting on the subway.

Three strikes, you’re out.

Once they started moving, Xen felt something move the train. It was small, but not small enough to just ignore. It wasn’t like the typical rough movements expected from the subway, no, this was different.

She looked around, and there was a louder thump. This time, it shook the whole car, reverberating into her own. Xen gripped the iron bar beside her, looking to the back of the subway. Her finger hovered over the 911 button, and her leg bounced with anxiety and anticipation.

However, before she could react, something huge crashed right through the train. For a few seconds, Xen watched as the creature crushed the car with ease. After those seconds were over, though, all she felt was adrenaline and fear.

The train came to a violent stop and Xen was thrown out of her seat, hitting her head on one of the metal poles.

Regaining consciousness seconds later, Xen pushed herself up, trying to decipher what was happening around her. Her ears were ringing and there was a fuzziness in her head. She looked around, noting the very big gap between her car and the next one over. Slowly, Xen crawled towards the opening, peering around the edge.

There was a large corridor beside the tracks, and she could hear lots of banging and crashing coming from it.

All she wanted was to lay there and wait for help, or maybe even try navigating the complex subway system. But after brief consideration of both, Xen came to the conclusion that she was not in the right state to look around. She’d either end up lost or get mugged by some junkie.

Making up her mind, Xen focused herself and hopped from the train floor to the rail beneath it. The ground was ripped apart and many pieces of the iron subway car laid strewn about the tunnel. But that wasn’t enough to discourage her.

No, Xen wanted to go home. But to make that happen she needed a way out. And what better way than to follow the people who caused your situation in the first place?

“Ugh..” Xen groaned, walking toward the long corridor.

Using the sounds of fighting to lead her, eventually leading her to a large drop off. The area was well-lit by construction lights, which allowed her to see the two fighting.

The large creature from earlier, who seemed like some kind of lizard-scorpion hybrid, was attacking a person. Not an ordinary person, though. The one fighting back was riding a motorcycle, occasionally shooting at it with a whispy-looking gun. Whoever it was wearing a long white coat and a helmet…

Wait…

Didn’t they look kind of familiar?

She can’t finish her thought unfortunately, because the lizard-scorpion suddenly stopped. Snapping its head toward her, the creature roared and weird-looking fan things spread out from its neck. It sort of reminded her of that one dinosaur from Jurassic Park.

Then, it started running toward her.

“Oh shit!” Xen shouts, jumping from the realization and looking around wildly for an escape route.

That doesn’t get her anywhere though, because the thing jumps toward her. Opening its gigantic mouth, Xen has a second to see the hundreds of teeth lining it’s jaws. Frozen, Xen can’t help but watch as it gets closer, and closer. Until, finally, she’s broken out of it by a quick motion.

In a matter of seconds, Xen was grabbed around the waist and thrown on the back of a motorcycle.

“Hang on!” The person commanded, and Xen followed along.

She did not want to add “falling off a motorcycle while being chased by a monster” as one of her bucket-list bullet points.

The person- no, guy? Man? Boy?

Boy…

Boy.

Boy!

Noticing the fur of his coat and the white color of the rest flying wildly in the air, Xen realized who this was.

“Hey! You’re the guy who ordered the coffee!” She yelled, trying to see the front of the boys’ helmet.

He gave her a quick glance, ignoring her statement and amping up the speed.

Xen, for all her bravery, tightened her arms around the boy’s waist. She dared to glance back, spotting the monster following them around the wide space, fast.

It got close once, snapping its razor-sharp jaws at them and the boy sped up even quicker.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Xen asked once she noticed the very big ramp thing they were heading for. “Uhm, hey, guy, dude?! What the hell are you— OH MY GOD!” She screamed.

“Don’t let go!” He yelled back, throttling the engine with one of the bike’s handlebars.

They reached the climax of the ramp, and very much ran off it, flying into the air. Xen held on, more out of fear than anything, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t open them until she felt a thump instead of a crash and burning sensation.

She peeked one eye open, looking around until realizing they were driving away from the monster. He was heading down a corridor similar to the one she came from, at very high speeds. They drove for what felt like forever before the chilly night air hit her, and suddenly they were on the surface again.

The boy drove quickly and carefully, somehow, and took her to the bay of the city.

She got off as soon as they stopped, her legs feeling like jello, Xen sat on the curb of the road. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, her head was pounding like crazy, she could practically feel her heart pumping blood into her brain.

Muffled talking made its way into Xen’s ears, and she turned to look at the boy.

He was on the phone with a very tired look on his face. “Yeah..yeah I know. I didn’t get to finish it off, some civilian from the subway was there. I had to rescue her—what? What do you mean “why?” I rescued her because it’s my job?”

He grimaced, confused and annoyed. “Yes, it is my job, Ada. It’s yours too, by like, law or something.”

He continued to argue with Ada(?) on the phone until finally hanging up. Running a hand through his hair, the boy finally looked to Xen. Her heart skipped a bit, when their eyes met. His gaze was cold, but gentle.

She cleared her throat, standing up and meeting his eyes, not really though. This guy had like three feet on her at most.

“Sooooooo..” She trailed off, not finding any words to describe what had happened. Or any questions to ask.

She just really wanted to go home.

“Are you okay?” The boy sighed. “Nothing bleeding or broken?”

“Ah, no, I don’t think so. I hit my head earlier though, so maybe like, a minor concussion? I dunno, I’m not a doctor.” Xen laughed nervously, shivering from the cold.

Once again, the boy sighed, and then took off his coat. “Here, you’re freezing.”

Her eyes widened, and the slightest bit of heat rose to her face.

“I— oh, thanks.” She stumbled, letting him pull it around her shoulders.

“No problem.” He shrugged. “We should you get to a doctor, make sure you’re really okay. That cool?”

Meeting his eyes again was a struggle, his gaze was piercing and without exhaustion or adrenaline clouding her mind, Xen found him a little hard not to admire. His face seemed carefully crafted, almost perfect, except for the slight crookedness of his nose.

“Yes, I guess that’s fine.” She finally spoke.

“Alright, get on.” He nodded to the bike. “Oh, and wear this.”

The black helmet was placed into her hands, and Xen had about two seconds to process before he was turning on the bike and revving the engine. Swiftly, she secured the helmet and got on behind the other.

“By the way, what’s your name?” He asked.

“Xen! Yours?” She raised her voice over the loud engine.

“Nyxx. Ready?”

“Yep.”

And with that, Xen sat as Nyxx drove her into the night, and she wasn’t going to lie, she was feeling excited.

Maybe things would be different, this time.

—

This pièce de résistance is for my bro @3xen who asked me for this in the utmost respectful way. By threatening me.

Jk jk, love you bro, hope you enjoy this!

(also this shit is NOT proofread so if there’s any mistakes no there isn’t 🤞)

[jamiewintons]

the fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress (Jamie Winton/F!Reader)

Summary: You're Jamie's "secret admirer"; you've been watching him for a long time, waiting for the perfect moment to make him all yours. Now, it’s finally time.

Tags/Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY). Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Yandere!Reader. Kidnapping. Stalking. Extremely Dubious Consent. Bondage. Unprotected Sex. Breeding Kink. Handjobs. Blowjobs. Tit Fucking.

A/N: An anon requested a fic with an Ariel-like reader who captures Jamie, and it's totally crazy because I'd been thinking about something like that for a while!! Anyway... there are a lot of dark themes in this, so please heed the warnings and don't read if it's going to cause you discomfort. Those who do choose to read, I hope you enjoy!! (Also the title is a lyric from Howl by Florence + The Machine)

Word Count: 3058

Taglist: Only tagging @demontoucansam and @pink-booty-butts in this one, since they’re the only ones I know that are comfortable with this kind of stuff.

*

This was what all of these months of patient waiting and careful planning had been leading up to, and now that you had him here in front of you, you found yourself a little nervous.

It was silly, really. You’d done pretty much nothing but observe him since the day you first set eyes on him, and you’d actually succeeded in kidnapping him and bringing him back home, but you felt almost like a schoolgirl, giddy and embarrassed in front of your crush.

You were standing there in front of him, watching over him as he slept. You’d stripped him down to just his boxers – you’d considered disposing of his clothes but you couldn’t resist keeping his shirt for yourself – and secured him tightly to the chair he was sitting in; his arms behind his back and his calves bound to the legs of the chair, with his own legs open enough to give you easy access to do whatever you wanted to him.

A jolt of excitement flowed through your body at that thought. Now that you had him, you could do whatever you wanted to him. This was the best day of your life.

*

Jamie began to wake up, his eyelids heavy and his head aching, to the feeling of something brushing against his cheek. As his eyes slowly fluttered open, he could see the blurry outline of a person, reaching out to touch his face with a soft hand. For a moment, he didn’t react, his mind too tired to even wonder what the hell was going on, but when he heard the figure begin to speak, he paid attention.

“I’m glad you’re finally awake, darling,” a voice said, with a hint of amusement behind it. “You look very pretty when you’re sleeping, but I was starting to get impatient.”

Jamie made a sleepy noise of confusion as his vision began to clear, and he could finally see you properly. There you were, wearing one of his shirts and what seemed like nothing else underneath. It seemed strangely intimate, like you were his girlfriend or something, when in fact he’d never met you before in his life.

His brain was a little bit behind, and it took him a few moments to realise that it was the shirt he had been wearing when he returned home from work. This prompted him to look down, horrified to see that he was now clothed only in his boxers, and even worse, when he tried to struggle, he found that his arms were tightly secured to the chair. His legs too were tied, and the chair was bolted down to the floor.

“There’s no use in doing that, Jamie,” you told him gently, and Jamie wasn’t sure whether he should be disturbed or relieved at what seemed to be genuine warmth and affection in your eyes. “Now that I’ve got you right where I want you, I’m never letting you go.”

“Wh-who are you? What do you want?” he asked, trying but failing to keep his voice from shaking. You moved back closer to him, smiling down at him with a lovestruck expression.

“You could call me your…” You paused to think for a moment, tilting your head to the side slightly. “…Secret admirer. I’ve been watching you for a long time. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

The sense of dread settled low in Jamie’s stomach at your words. “W-watching me?”

“Yep.” You let out a quiet giggle as you reached out to stroke his hair, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands between your fingers. Jamie made an attempt to pull away, but of course, there was nowhere for him to go. “I’ve been watching you for months now. Wherever you go, whatever you do… just waiting for the perfect moment to make you mine. And now, here you are.”

You had been watching him all the time? Jamie felt himself blush as he considered the terrifying implications of that sentence. Had you been watching as he slept, or as he showered, or during… other private moments? His voice shrunk with the weight of his anxieties, so his next question was barely above a squeaky whisper. “What… what are you planning on doing to me?”

“Aww, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re far too precious to me.” You leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead, which might have been a sweet gesture had the circumstances been different, but now it just felt wrong. “Both of us have been so lonely for so long. It’s time for us to be happy. Together.”

All words had left Jamie’s mind, and so in the absence of speech, he simply stared at you in disbelief. You were still grinning at him, which just made things all the more confusing. Did you seriously think that kidnapping was the correct way to begin a healthy relationship? Did you think that he would just be fine with that?

“You won’t be tied up like this forever, of course. Just until I’m sure you’re not going to run from me. But until then…” Your hand rests on Jamie’s thigh, and then ever so slowly begins to move upwards.

He wasn’t sure why it took that long, but it suddenly hit Jamie what you were intending to do to him. Why you’d almost completely stripped him, and why you’d tied him to this chair. He began to struggle again, hopelessly trying to release himself from his very strong bonds. Of course, there was no point to any of it.

“Come on, honey. Don’t waste your energy.” You sat yourself down on Jamie’s lap, shock making all of his attempts to escape cease when you moved to straddle him. Disturbingly enough, he could feel through his boxers that you were completely soaked, and also not wearing any underwear. Your face was far too close to his, and you smiled, throwing your arms around his neck and over the back of the chair.

“Please, don’t do this,” Jamie begged, closing his eyes tightly and trying to will himself to not get aroused when you began grinding your wetness against his lap. It has been so long since he had been touched by anyone other than himself and his body was quick to react to any kind of stimulation. “Please, it’s not right, you can’t…”

“If you don’t want it, then how do you explain this?” You punctuated your question by gently taking hold of Jamie’s hardening cock through his boxers, stroking him over the fabric and making him whine. The sweet noises that Jamie made and the way his face scrunched up when you touched him made you giggle again. “You don’t need to fight me, baby. I’m going to make you feel so good.”

You scrambled off of Jamie’s lap, and for a brief moment he thought that he was in the clear, but when he looked down he saw you on your knees pulling at the waistband of his boxers. He feebly tried to kick, to make it more difficult for you, but with his ankles strapped to the chair there was nothing that he could do. Once his boxers were as far down as you could get them, you cut them off of him, throwing the ruined fabric and the knife he hadn’t realised you had carelessly to the side. The idea of having a knife so close to delicate parts of his body made Jamie even more nervous, but to his very slight relief you managed it without cutting him. “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you some more.” A kiss was pressed to his inner thigh. “Pink looks cute on you.”

Your lips travelled up Jamie’s thighs, stopping every so often to suck bruises into the pale, sensitive flesh, marking him as yours. Your hands followed the route that your lips had already taken, scratching your nails lightly over his skin. You took it painfully slowly, wanting Jamie to be absolutely desperate when you finally gave him what he needed. It didn’t seem it was taking too long, however, as you could already feel his legs quivering under your touch.

“You know, now that I’m seeing it in person, it’s bigger than I thought it was,” you noted with a grin, once your eyes had fallen on Jamie’s cock, painfully hard and leaking against his stomach. It was far too easy to get him excited, but you loved it. “The cameras really didn’t do you justice.”

You spent a few more moments admiring him, while Jamie tried to focus on anything but your eyes and hands on him. He hated that his body was reacting to what you were doing to him. It was just so wrong, he didn’t want—

Jamie’s eyes shot open and he annoyingly let out a loud moan when he felt your tongue flick out to touch his tip, swirling around it before you actually took him into your mouth. You smiled around his cock, happy to have actually pulled a reaction out of him. How you wished that Jamie didn’t have to be tied up, so that you could feel his fingers threading through your hair as you pleasured him. Feel him struggle to keep his hips from bucking upwards into the warm wetness of your mouth. One day, you assured yourself.

You did hate however that in your current position, it was very difficult to gage how Jamie was feeling. He couldn’t touch you, he was stubbornly trying to muffle any sounds that might come out, and worst of all, you could hardly see his face.

Suddenly, an idea came to you that would allow you to remedy at least one of those problems. You stopped, slowly taking him from your mouth, and Jamie made a quiet little noise that you couldn’t decipher. Your fingers came to your chest, beginning to unbutton the shirt you were wearing, which was a struggle with how much your hands were shaking. Once you’d managed it, you threw the shirt aside, and sat up a bit higher on your knees, pressing yourself closer between Jamie’s legs.

Using both of your hands, you pushed your breasts together to envelop Jamie’s cock, the feeling of being surrounded by soft, warm flesh making him let out another traitorous moan. His cock was practically covered in his own precum and your saliva, meaning that when you started moving, there was more than enough lubrication for you to be able to thrust it in and out of your cleavage without any resistance.

Briefly, you thought that maybe you should have kept your bra on for this; if you didn’t have to worry about holding your tits together, you would have been able to focus entirely on watching how Jamie’s face contorted in pleasure, all because of you. But it was too late to change that now, so you just decided to enjoy what you had now.

For Jamie, this was an entirely new experience. Then again, that wasn’t exactly surprising; he’d only ever been with Layla, so he wasn’t the most worldly or knowledgeable person on the subject of sex. Honestly, until now, he didn’t even know that this was something that people did. And no matter how much he hated this whole situation, it felt good. Too good.

Jamie bit his lip to try and stop himself from making anymore noise, but even with all of his efforts, whimpers still escaped him, encouraging you to speed up your movements. Before he knew it, Jamie was right at the edge of orgasm with absolutely no means of escape. Without his permission, his hips made their best attempt to move upwards, trying to get more of what you were giving him.

With only a few more thrusts, Jamie was coming, his cum spurting onto your tits, with some of it even getting onto your chin. His first instinct was to apologise profusely, but when he opened his mouth to do so he reconsidered. Should he really be the one saying sorry in this scenario? So he stayed silent, instead focusing on catching his breath.

“I didn’t give you permission to do that, darling,” you told him, swiping some of his cum from your chin with your thumb before licking it off with an approving moan. “But I’ll let you off the hook, just this once. I’ll have you ready to go again in no time anyway.”

Jamie didn’t even have time to protest, because all he could do was whimper when you wrapped your hand around his oversensitive cock and began to pump it, using the cum that hadn’t gotten on you to ensure it went smoothly. Just as you predicted, it didn’t take long for Jamie to get hard again, which you were glad for since you were impatient to get to the main event.

You stood back up and climbed onto Jamie’s lap, feeling his once again hard cock against your soaked pussy. You were positively vibrating with excitement as you lifted yourself up and began to sink down onto Jamie’s length, digging your fingernails into his shoulders as he filled your aching emptiness so completely.

“Oh fuck, Jamie… you have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about this,” you moaned breathlessly, giving yourself a few moments to adjust; to how full you felt, and to how elated you were to finally have the man you adored here inside of you.

Jamie was once again biting his lip, trying to stop his voice from betraying him, from letting you know how good it felt to be buried deep inside of you. You were so incredibly warm and wet, squeezing around him so tightly, something that he hadn’t felt for years. He cursed himself for his own inexperience – if only he hadn’t had such a long dry spell, maybe he’d be able to put up more of a fight.

You took this chance to crash your lips against Jamie’s, practically forcing his mouth open, invading it with your tongue and making him taste yourself. At this point, Jamie knew that there was nothing he could do to stop this, so he made no move to reciprocate, just allowing you to take what you wanted. And take you did, because it was at this moment that you decided to begin moving your hips, moaning into Jamie’s open mouth.

Breaking the one-sided kiss to look at Jamie’s face, you couldn’t help but admire the way his brow furrowed, how his cheeks flushed, how he breathed… he was just so beautiful to you. You could tell that he was just as into this as you were, even if he didn’t want to admit it yet. “Does it feel good, Jamie?” you asked, almost babbling. “I know it’s been a long time for you. Doesn’t this feel so much better than your hand? I can tell it does…”

Jamie made no answer, simply squeezing his eyes shut tighter. “You… you don’t feel like talking, darling? That’s alright… you can use your mouth for other things then.” You tangled your fingers into Jamie’s hair, bringing his face closer to your breast, hoping that he would get the message. At a complete loss of what else to do, Jamie took your nipple between his lips, licking and sucking at it and hoping this would make things end more quickly.

You let out a delighted moan at Jamie’s seeming compliance, tugging harder as the movement of your hips sped up. With the way you were moving up and down at such an intense pace, it was difficult for Jamie to continue with the task you had set for him, so he stopped, but you didn’t seem to mind. You were too focused on driving his cock harder and deeper inside of you, your loud moans filling up the room.

Even though he’d only come a little while ago – even though he didn’t want this – Jamie could already feel himself getting close again. The way you were moving in his lap was simply too much for him, and he struggled to speak as he attempted to warn you. “Y-you need to stop, I’m going to…”

Jamie didn’t get his full sentence out, but you seemed to catch his meaning. However, his warning didn’t seem to dissuade you; your eyes lit up and you started to move at an impossibly quick pace. “Yes, y-yes, Jamie… come inside me,” you cried out, completely breathless and disheveled. “Please, please… fuck… I want to feel you fill me up. I want… I want to have your baby…”

That was the worst possible thing that could happen. But for some reason, the sound of you begging him for his cum, for him to get you pregnant, flicked some kind of switch in Jamie’s brain that made him no longer able to think logically, and he fully gave himself over to the pleasure. For whatever reason, that thought was what pushed him over the edge, and he moaned loudly as he gave you everything you wanted. His cock pulsed inside of you as he filled you up, driving you to your own orgasm which you were very determined to ride out until you were completely spent.

You slumped forward, resting your sweat-covered forehead against Jamie’s and giggling as you caught your breath. Jamie’s heart was beating a mile a minute, so hard that he was worried it might burst out of his chest. He felt guilt swelling up inside of him, eating away at his conscience, for allowing himself to enjoy what you had done to him.

“That was fantastic,” you said, grinning as you stared into Jamie’s eyes. “I told you it would be, didn’t I? But it was even better than I imagined it would be…” Your hand came down to touch your stomach, letting out a contented sigh. “You really came a lot, darling. Just think, you might have got me pregnant already…”

You felt Jamie’s cock twitch inside you at these words. You knew that would get him, you knew what he was into, knew every secret little fantasy he had. Satisfied with yourself, you moved your hips ever so slightly, pulling yet another moan from Jamie’s lips.

“You know what?” You asked, and Jamie’s doe eyes flickered up to look to you. “I think that we should go again.”

[xonepeacelovex]

the playlist

Characters: Asahi Hamada (Treasure) x Y/N (Reader)

Genre: Strangers AU | Narration + SocMed (to be updated)

Trigger/Content Warning: None

Word count: 2.5k

Summary:

"So this is where we end?”

“This is where we end.”

Inspiration: Begin Again | Movie

A/N: I’d really appreciate if you’ll take time to listen to the songs. Thank you. Happy reading. :))

Asahi’s POV

He’s an artist for god’s sake. A goddamn artist who doesn’t have a place on this world apparently. Asahi was sitting down on one of the benches in the park. Mad at his employers. Mad at the world. Mad for himself. Mad at himself. He can’t even let go of his ego for once. Now he is jobless like what everybody thinks of someone like himself. With a bag and the camera he always carries, he decided he needed something to calm him down. It looks like it’s a bout to rain also. Does the bars around in this city sell alcohol in the middle of a day, he wondered.

The place was full packed, surprisingly for a bar located in a secluded area. But the rain was already pouring hard so he had no choice but to enter and find his place inside it.

“Can I have a glass of beer?” The bartender nodded at him while he patiently waited for it.

The faint sound of guitar strumming caught his attention, bringing his eyes on the small stage set up on the corner of the bar. His eyes landed on you, a single lighting on you giving him a chance to see you even from the back of the bar where he is.

“Here is your beer,” the bartender announced. He thanked him and paid already for the beer. He downed it in one go before going somewhere where he can see you better. He doesn’t mind standing for a few minutes. He just had to see you.

The people around doesn’t pay any attention to you, busy on their own business to even notice how captivating your voice is or how the lyrics to the song you are singing is absolutely heartbreaking. He can’t help but to stare at you, you obviously know no one is listening to you but you kept on singing anyway. He took out his camera, immediately pointing it towards you. Everything is perfect on his viewfinder. He looked at you once more before clicking the shutter.

“It’s a song I’ve written… Thank you,” you awkwardly said before going down the platform. A smile made its way to his lips. You are also an artist, a goddamn good one. Someone at the side of the stage clapped loudly first then few people followed him. He gives you a hug before getting on the stage himself.

“That’s my friend right there. I’ll surely miss you, Y/N,” he said in the mic, looking at you, giving you once more a round of applause before he performs. You wave at your friend with a smile before you get your things on one of the seats. Y/N’s POV Thankfully, the rain stopped pouring but the pavement are still wet. You carefully walk while you are going through the playlist on your phone, “Wait,” a voice called out. Finding the song you’ve been looking for, you put your earphones, not knowing someone calling out for you.

Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/6jGnykaS6TkWp15utXSAeI?si=0370c6a1fc074838

You started humming, looking at your wrist watch.

“Wait!” A voice called out again, louder this time.

You are about to looked back when someone popped out beside you making you stopped walking. Flustered, you looked at the man in front of you.

Is he a threat? Drunk? Does he need help?

You pulled your earphones out and waited for the man to talk again. “I’m sorry but you didn’t say the title of your song.” Someone listened to you?, you smile at the thought, “It doesn’t have a title.”

“Ohhh…”

He avoided your eye contact. You can see how he was struggling to continue or to end the conversation. You laugh when he made an innocent reaction. He looked at you when he heard you laughing at him, “Oh no. I’m not laughing at you. I’m just surprised someone actually listened to me singing and not getting their ass drunk in the middle of a day. Though they can absolutely do that. Not that I’m judging them. Wait. I’m rambling nonsense already.”

You paused before sighing because of how embarrassed you are. Heart pounding, wishing that the man in front of you doesn’t think you are weird. “I’m not weird,” you blurted out making things more worse.

He gave you a smile, like reassuring you he doesn’t think of you like that, “I’m not weird either.” “Good.” “Great.” You both nodded at each other.

“Can I ask is there a way I can listen to it?” Is there a way he can listen to it? You thought for a second before nodding at him. “Cool. Is it on Soundcloud or Spotify?”

The first person to ask you about your song. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to tag him along on your little adventure. Either if he is a good guy or a bad guy, you’ll be safe anyway.

“No.” His excitement died down when you answered him. “But I can give you a copy of it. Not for free though.” He immediately search his bag for his wallet when you stopped him, holding his wrist. “Not that kind of payment. What do you think about going on a little adventure?” You waited for him to think about it. “Well not really an adventure. Just walking around this city. You know, trying food, going to famous tourist spots and whatnot.” Sighing, “So?”

“For the copy of your song?” he paused, before a smile broke into his lips, “I’m in.” “I’m Asa-“ handing his hand out for a shake when you stopped him, “Can we not give each other’s name?” you asked him. A strange request he thought but he agreed with you anyway.

You walked silently, waiting him to follow your cue, he followed you shortly after.

“Do you have your earphones with you?” He pulled out a headphone out from his bag. You nodded, searching the audio splitter on your bag too. Silently putting his headphone and your earphone on the audio splitter before inserting it on your phone. You waited for him to put his headphone before pressing the song play.

Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/6LLUiWmVoiPm27QNzBNc3j?si=07f9353c83934e64

He smiles before removing one of the headphone in his ear, “Begin Again?”. You did the same with your earphones before nodding at him. “That explains the audio splitter,” he said.

“You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist,” you recited your favorite quotes from the movie. “Let’s know each other by our song choices. What do you think?”

“I’m afraid cause you’re a singer.” “Don’t because I’m not a singer. I just sing.”

Asahi’s POV And you sing beautifully, he wanted to add.

You’ll know someone based on the songs they listened to but for him, the film someone loves can tell you their struggles in life. He thought if you also relate to the characters in the movie Begin Again. Are you also someone who is going through a break-up? Or someone who lost their job like him?

Sharing his playlist to someone is something he doesn’t think he’ll do but he found himself thinking about the songs he wanted to share with you.

Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/05wIrZSwuaVWhcv5FfqeH0?si=2c9d90b675b74f24

Y/N’s POV

“Really?” you said to him when you heard the familiar drumbeat while he handed you back your phone. You pointed with your whole hand the sidewalk you both were walking in, it’s still wet then the sky that is still cloudy. But none of that matter to him as he can’t help but move his shoulders to the beat of the drums.

You closed your eyes with your hand when he started dancing in the middle of the street. You looked at him again this time moving your hand in your open mouth, surprised that other people are watching you two now.

“C’mon,” he said making you looked back at him, he has this cheeky smile. You swayed lightly, giving in. The people passing by giving you weird looks now. You stopped and watched him for a second before you hold his wrist and pulling him towards an ice cream parlor. Saving both of you from further embarrassment. You two are not weird. Both of you are crazy for dancing in the middle of a sidewalk.

The empty ice cream parlor was filled with the sound of laughter.

“I can’t believe I did that,” you admitted to him, “But really ‘Walking on Sunshine’? I saw you downing a glass of beer on one shot earlier.”

Is it okay to ask him? But you didn’t ask him directly.

He smiles, “I just wanted to know if you’ll also join me in my craziness.”

“I got you,” assuring him, “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

“Grapes.”

“I’m sorry. What again?” “Grapes.” You expected rocky road or maybe even mint chocolate but not grapes. Luckily, this ice cream parlor had every flavor. You simply got a cookies and cream flavor. You handed him the cup of his ice cream.

He just continues to surprise you the more you spend your time with him.

“It’s my turn now right?” grinning at him. Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/2LMkwUfqC6S6s6qDVlEuzV?si=ea6112d184e34e59

“Are you okay?” He stopped eating his ice cream putting the whole cup on the table, looking at you with knitted eyebrows. Chuckling at him, before doing the same, “I-“ Is there an easy way to say what you are about to say? “It’s too late for me,” you smiled at him before looking down at your melting ice cream cup. Your smile fading away the more you talk, “He love someone else now. Maybe in another universe, we’ll have our happy ending.”

You waited for his response and when did not utter a single word, “And that’s White Ferrari for you,” you joked at him making him laugh. “Your turn.” Asahi’s POV Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/5cii8kYu4Ti6UigNiRCpCw?si=4b5092c81de04f66

“Jonathan Larson?” you excitedly asked him while he open the door for you while exiting the ice cream parlor. “How can you know it’s time to let go?”

“Of your dreams?” He nodded. “You need to decide. Are you letting yourself be led by fear or by love?” You recited one of his favorite lines in the movie trailer of tick, tick… BOOM!.

“Fear. Absolutely fear,” he answered like how the main character answered it. You laugh at him, “Kidding aside, I got fired. Because it is not only my dreams I can’t let go but also my pride in my works. They just… don’t see my vision,” he ranted at you, aware that you are listening to him attentively.

“Am I killing the mood?” “I saw you taking my picture earlier with a film camera.” “Oh... I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry. I know you have a great vision,” you said with a straight face that he got flustered. Asahi doesn’t know if you are joking or not. “I’m joking.” What you said got his heart beating faster, he’s sure all the blood rushed to his face now. He can feel his cheeks are getting hotter including his ears. “I just wanted to ask for a copy of it but I know it’ll take a long time to process the film.” “I’ll give you a copy.” “Really?” “You are giving me a copy of your song so it’s only fair.” You grin from ear to ear, “How about take pictures of our little adventure? If I have new songs, I’ll make sure you’ll hear it,” You suggested, giving him another deal he cannot refuse. “I’m in.”

Y/N’s POV Satisfied with his answer, you excitedly searched for the song you wanted him to hear, putting it on queue.

Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/6uubvaXbqj0do75wZFrecY?si=8937167491bb416a

“This is gonna be our little secret,” you whispered to him. You wanted him to listen to this song, know that there’s no need to rush. There’s no need to let go. We’ll be lost but we’ll also be found.

“Give me your camera,” without hesitation he gave you his camera, you pushed him gently in front of you, “I’ll take a picture of you.” He stopped and looked at you, “This feels awkward. I’m always behind the camera.” While you back away from him, making sure to get the picturesque background. “You look fine. Just pose,” looking at him at the viewfinder. More than fine if you’ll be honest to yourself. You enjoyed taking his pictures and you know he’s also taking pictures of you. You believe most of them are candid because he never asked you to pose or to stand in front of something unlike what you did with him. You wondered how the pictures would turn out.

Asahi’s POV He looked up at the sky, some stars are now visible. The sky is clear now unlike the weather earlier that day. As the day turned into night, Asahi felt that the time is running out. Movies and songs are not enough to know you. He can’t do anything because he agreed with you earlier, no asking of personal details. “Hey. Is ramen okay with you?” you asked him exiting the ramen restaurant in the alley. Asahi nodded, he got hungry when you both smelled the ramen upon passing the alley. “Come inside,” pulling him.

“It’s your turn now,” giving him your phone. Instead of what song he wanted to share with you, he picked the song that conveyed what he’s feeling right now, adding it to the queue.

Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/6bFsQ6yOp3z5mGNkhWP0P1?si=a4da3bd3bd8e4308

You smile to yourself and began to ask him what he wants, ordering it including for yours. You did not say anything this time. Just looking outside the glass window of the ramen restaurant. Entertaining yourself with the cat passing by, he searched for his camera immediately. Asahi just need to capture the serene moment. When you heard the click of his camera, you turned your back and watched him with his camera before you smiled at directly at camera. The first time you looked at him, taking a picture of you. “At least I have one picture, looking at the camera.” He got embarrassed that you knew he’s only taking candid photos of you. Thankfully, the ramen arrived saving him from answering you.

“Thank you for the food,” you said and he copied you. Now playing: https://open.spotify.com/track/3Un9IKqqC6LEqjwKsFWrqx?si=f7161f6556834970

When Asahi heard the song, he knew you answered him already so he did what he just can. He’s making the left time worth every second as you also did. Telling each stories, sharing interests, doing some hidden talents, anything that would make the day worth it until it’s time to say goodbye. Y/N’s POV In front of the closing ramen restaurant, you pulled out the cord of his headset on your audio splitter before you also wrapped your earphone to your phone, putting everything inside your bag. The stranger whom you’ve known for the day, had his camera and bag hanging on his shoulders. Both of you are looking at each other. Will you ever forget his face? You stared at him shamelessly this time, memorizing his face as you can.

“Before I even forgot,” you said, rummaging your bag for a cd that have your song on it, “This is what I promised.” Handing him the cd on a case that have nothing but a phrase you’ve written on it.

He’s an art only to touched with my eyes. He get it and read what you’ve written silently. He knows the cd is not really for him, looking back at you.

“So this is where we end?”

“This is where end.”

Copyright © 2022 xonepeacelovex All rights reserved.

[theficblog]

BLACK UMBRELLAS

XIAO DEJUN

Prologue: It wasn’t easy to hold onto your emotions when you find yourself in the same dine-in where your ex boyfriend sings. The pain was too much to bear.

Genre: Angst + Ex boyfriend Xiaojun

Wordcount: 1,308

Warnings: None

People meet. There is this glance-passing interaction. Then comes the lure of human nature. I know you like me, you know I like you. There are a hundred faces you see every day, some of whom understand this theory of yours. Life is all about fun, and in your world, emotions and sentiments kill the fun. 

Relationships are meant to be for a night, or maybe if it was for some rare chance, more, and then in the morning, everyone has their own path to take and it's best if they bury the past behind. 

Amongst your lengthy list of boys, the one that lasted the longest on the pitch was for around five months. 

There was no denying you had fun, and this fun was very different from your past ones. 

Simple things with him brought you absolute joy, whether it was going out to get melon popsicles in the summer heat or clicking pictures for the gram in the trial rooms and never actually buying them. He laughed at your worst joke, he got up from the bed to switch off the lights, and he let you have the last slice of pizza. He lent you a shoulder to cry on, he gave you the best cuddles. He was different. 

-

This evening, the streets and the sky were both grey and deserted. As the clouds veiled the stars, the dusty wind swept through the concrete. Those sounds were eolian. Everything that was carried away by the winds, including leaves and twigs, empty soda cans, discarded polythene, and other debris, flew here and there. 

What was also grey and deserted was your heart. You were lonely.

Being physically surrounded by people all the time, sharing laughs and gossip, did not always necessarily bring happiness. Times like these made you miss him the most. 

A dine-in that appeared to be new in town caught your attention. "The Melting Pot", the board read with huge yellow and red lights. You decided to step in. It would be good both for your body and heart, you needed some comfort. 

The smell of the wooden furniture and the smells of their cooking mingled together beautifully in the low light. You secured a table near the enormous glass. The raindrops traced their way down, taking unprecedented paths, going with the flow while it was bucketing down outside. 

It would have been pretty subtle and swift if it were not for what happened next. "An unusually long day. But it's not too bad because you're warm~" These words mixed themselves in the atmosphere. No, it was not just about those painful lyrics. It was the voice, and it was his voice.

You froze at the moment, a sudden rush of numbness running through your veins that was accompanied by a warm and welcoming feeling in the heart, as if it could make you cry instantly.

"You are a miracle to me, I wish you could see it

Spreading all over me, a gift called you

You're my night and day~"

He proceeded with the song, perfectly hitting all the notes with those guitar chords. His voice held so much pain, a pain too much to bear. Oh! It was breaking your heart. 

Thanks to your long hair and black baseball cap, your face could not be recognized. You took it as an advantage to face the man. He sat there on the only chair in front of the wall studded with golden fairy lights, adding more to his glow in an off-whitish sweater, resembling a baby lamb. His dark hair concealed his forehead, and his hands were occupied by his rustic brown guitar, something very dear to him. 

"Cause I can live with it, You're my everything~"

He finished tonight's performance, leaving the room with applause and also tears in your eyes. 

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we are closing." Another man dressed in a three-piece informed you, you took a glance at your phone and left the table soon after you paid. 

The exit was towards the left, but you took the right instead, intentionally. Your eyes followed the man, who was now packing up. 

"Dejun?" you called his name, with a tone that depicted absolute pain, regret, and need at the same time. 

He turned back to face you, still smiling. It was not a smile from the heart, you knew him. His lips curved that way every time he was vulnerable. 

"Last time you looked at me like that, you broke my heart." He stated, fidgeting his head and fingers, turning away his eyes from you. He stayed like that for a minute or two, continuously looking towards the left, shaking his head and swallowing that lump in his throat before turning back to his task. You knew he was on the verge of crying anytime.

"I never wanted to hurt you!" You broke down in tears. 

Xiaojun paid zero attention. He hung his backpack, carried his guitar case and left, walking away right past you.

Even if you wanted to let him go a few months back, for some reason, this time, you knew you could not afford it. 

You followed him in the streets. It was still heavily raining, but the winds ceased, making it suitable enough to walk. You were following his figure, the one with the same black umbrella as yours. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" He said sternly, without turning back. He must have realised you were following him, for yours were the only footsteps on the street other than his.

The silence could still be heard, along with the rain.

"You said you were bored of me." He added. 

The glass of silence stood still again for seconds, then shattered by the noise of the delivery motorbike. "Vroom!" It went by slowly.

"I love you!"

You screamed at the man with all your might. 

"I dialled your number a thousand times. Why didn't you ever pick it up?

The shouting continued. Xiaojun stayed the same, he did not move, and neither did he look back. 

"I know I don't deserve this but don't leave me alone Dejun!" You fell on your knees as you let your emotions out. Your umbrella fell to the side, being terribly crushed by the rain. 

It was difficult to tell your tears apart from the raindrops. 

"If you loved me as much as you said, then please don't ever call me again. I don't think I'll ever be over you". Xiaojun stated, trying his best to hold back his tears. The pain could still be heard in his voice. 

"Who do you think of when you sing all these songs?" 

"I want to protect your days and nights. You are a miracle to me, I wish you could see it.~”

You still remembered these words. They were buried in your heart with those memories. The happy times of life when he would sing this song for you, only for you. 

The black umbrella fell out of Xiaojun's grip. It was upside down, just like your umbrella, which now had the rainwater overflow. It was not easy for them to keep burdening themselves with that weight of pain, much like your hearts. 

You were both drenched in the water, and in the pain.

He finally turned back, crying.

The moment was too hurtful to bear. 

The rain was gloomy, but it was also ecstasy.

It was ecstasy for you when he held his arms open, allowing you to come back to him. He dropped everything that was precious to him, to get back the one most precious of them all. 

You got up from your knees and ran to him, not caring about slipping and falling, because you had these arms to hold you. You and your heart. 

"After a long wait, you're the one~"

You're my everything.

SONG IN THE FIC - NCT U - My Everything

LET ME KNOW YOUR VIEWS + ALSO SEE : MASTERLIST

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING ,TRANSLATING, OR POSTING OUTSIDE THIS PLATFORM.  

[jimilter]

No hard Feeling with Yoongi? 👁👁

the wip challenge!

hello, hello, dear anon! this fic is part of my youth series!

college!au enemies to lover! au music student yoongi | journalism student reader

Yoongi had been having a relatively unproductive day at the studio when he was first made aware of the existence of their university’s quarterly online journal and its music review column where new music from campus bands was critiqued. He says ‘made aware’ because it was Jungkook that came bounding into his safe space, making him jump a foot off his cushioned revolving chair, and shoved his tablet with the specific page zoomed in, into his face.

“There’s something very wrong with her, hyung!” the kid had proclaimed, his wide, doe-eyes looking as shocked as his lips looked offended. “She criticizes everything, never talks about the rhythm and instruments, analyzes lyrics as if she’s reading classical poetry, and always, always writes horrible reviews! Bet you she’s a lit major who knows nothing about music!”

“Why do you sound personally hurt?”

“Because she gave a bad review to some friends of mine and their professor took off a grade because of it!”

It had sounded weird – not just the part that Jungkook had friends, although that was hella weird and unbelievable too, but also that the university would give so much importance to a column writer. But Yoongi had been too tired to think too much of it. More so when Jungkook confirmed that his friends were part of a band.

“Maybe it’s just the bands, Kook. Some people have this ridiculous beef against the concept of bands, maybe she’s one of ’em, don’t stress it. She can’t touch you.”

The day’s slobbishness had made Yoongi moodier than usual that late afternoon and he hadn’t really bothered to properly look at words shoved too close to his eyes for him to actually be able to read them, and waved a dismissive hand at Jungkook.

But now – as he sits in this same studio and looks at the same journal, three months later, Yoongi wishes he had paid more attention when Jungkook told him about this the first time.

Because now, in huge glaring letters, sits a heading that tells him about, ‘SUGA’s Broken Syllables and Meaningless Repetition: An Analysis.’

He has never felt a rage as strong and murderous as the one he does, right now.

a short snippet, bec this fic is full of spoilers for the hobi and jimin fics that come before this one in the series! i hope you look forward to this, anon! 🤗❤

[uniasus]

fic rec! Vampire AU that's a whomping 415K

Summary: Yugi, Atem, and Yami have just been mated and are happy together. Though, when Yugi's sister, Sakura, comes home, will they stay happy together? Or will she manage to do as she is threatening and tear them part?

Comments: This is one of those fics that I wish I'd paid more attention to before starting. It's a sequel (read it anyway) and it's over 400K words. And yet, despite the absurd length, I blitzed it in three days. THREE DAYS. I'm talking, staring at the clock going 5:30am I should be sleeping blitzing. Letting the work screen go dark from inactivity at 11am blitzing. I'm not even sure I could pinpoint why, but this ping-pongs from drama to drama and does a good job showcasing a variety of relationships and relationship issues, including overcoming the trauma of a bad one.

This is an old school ff.net story, old school like completed 7 years ago, and so reader will probably benefit from a few more details than ff.net enabled. This fic is also 1) a vampire au 2) mpreg in the last third 3) lemony 4) toes the line of song fic with how many full lyrics are here.

Now please excuse me as I just realized this fic is actually part of a trilogy, whose sequel got updated only a few months ago and whose prequel I should actually read.

[gabby-i-guess]

how can I tell if I have ADHD?

Hey tumblr friend!

Obligatory disclaimer: I'm not a psychiatrist, so take my thoughts with a pinch of salt. But! I have ADHD, I have learned a lot about neurodiversity, and I (almost) have a degree in health promotion. So my thoughts aren't total bullshit either lol

This is a long one, so if you're going to skip through it I understand, but at least read the last 2 paragraphs. That's the most important bit x

I think the biggest red flag for me was never feeling quite right. It didn't matter my friend group, didn't matter my school, didn't matter how hard I tried or how good my grades were - I always felt like a puzzle piece that fit just well enough to finish the puzzle but just badly enough to feel perpetually uncomfortable. And this didn't go away over time - I got more comfortable in myself, but never felt like the world quite had a place for me.

Although I didn't realise it at the time, another big red flag was that all of my best friends and all 3 of my high school boyfriends had ADHD. If you take a look around you at all of the people you connect with and they mostly have ADHD/autism, you probably do too.

And then of course there are the actual individual symptoms. Here's a rundown of what I experienced:

Mental illness, especially early in life and/or triggered by nothing in particular

Dissociation, which in my case hid lots of my sensory issues

Intense interest in hobbies for a relatively short period of time, between a week and a few months, then completely forgetting about them

Tiredness, ALWAYS, regardless of how much I slept

Trouble sleeping (including poor sleep quality)

Easily distracted from most tasks

Impossible to distract from very specific tasks

Forgetful, except for randomly specific things (e.g. song lyrics were seered into my brain word for word, but I forgot my sports uniform more times than I'd care to admit)

Perpetually disorganised

Or extremely organised for a short period of time, then somehow managed to disorganise myself again

Always late, no matter how hard I tried

Trouble with food (over eating, comfort eating, body image issues)

Easily made superficial friendships, struggled to make deep, long-lasting connections

Always labelled gifted but always told I wasn't reaching my potential

Very creative and imaginative

Very emotional, tending towards big mood swings (in fact, one psych thought I might be bipolar. Nah bro, just the ADHD :) )

Intense but unstable friendships (that is one of the symptoms that can look like BPD)

Weirdly specific habits/rituals/routines, with irritation but not distress if they were disrupted (for example, I always drank a specific bottle full of water with berocca every morning for 6 months. If I didn't have the bottle on hand, it was annoying, but I wouldn't get upset. Having said that, it did mean that I would forget to drink water all day and become very dehydrated)

Becoming bored/depressed every 6-12 months if nothing major in my life changed. This could be fixed by moving my furniture around. Or moving country. Or breaking up with my boyfriend. Or dyeing my hair. These were all pretty much the same to me

Executive dysfunction - as in, wanting to do something really, really bad but your brain just not letting you

Obsessive skin picking that frequently resulted in open, bleeding wounds

Feeling like I never had my shit together, right from age 12

Teachers noticed a lot of these too. My school reports are littered with evidence of my ADHD, starting from literally age 3... and yet no one ever picked up on it. Here are some examples:

"Gabby is a very bright girl, but needs to work on her organisation skills."

"Gabby has lots of friends, but needs to find better times to socialise."

"Gabby has a strong sense of right and wrong, and is frequently correcting her classmates."

"Although Gabby is sitting on a B in my class currently, if she paid a little more attention in class, she could easily be getting an A."

"Gabby's work is always thoughtful and interesting, but would often benefit from a final proofread before submission."

"Gabby often makes careless mistakes in her work, which brings her marks down."

All of this might not help you. After all, every person with ADHD looks a little different. But there is one thing I, a diagnosed ADHDer, can tell you that will help: you are welcome in ADHD spaces. Self-diagnosis is not ideal. But diagnosis is often a privilege, and not accessible to many people. Don't let anyone make you feel excluded because you don't have a diagnosis. If you find it helpful to consider yourself an ADHDer, to look for resources for ADHDers, to use tips and tricks for ADHDers, then it doesn't actually matter whether you're diagnosed or not. You're not faking - you're making do with what you have.

Sending you lots of love and strength Tumblr friend - all the best in your journey, wherever it takes you ❤️

[ina-shumelim]

Hi, boys and girls, I’m Danbert Nobacon, I’m the inside joke of the group

The very real award for Most Fun Name Within Chumbawamba definitely went to Danbert Nobacon every year he was part of the collective and probably for some years thereafter. Danbert Nobacon. It’s just so fun to say. I think so. Chumbawamba definitely thought so. Because while I cannot think of any other member of the band being mentioned in any of their songs (excluding live versions such as their final performance of Add Me in 2012), Danbert’s name is, to use another word that is so very fun to say, ubiquitous in their discography. And because I love collecting stuff, I tried to collect every mention made of him in Chumbawamba’s songs (it’s not actually that many and I probably missed something) and also found some other fun things.

Danbert Nobacon, his name no doubt inspired by early Chumbawamba anti-meat attitude (consider, for example, No!). Musically, his main addition to the band’s discography were his “absolutely unembarrassed vocals”. Shhh credits what I can only assume to be his evil alter ego Bert Bacon with “vocals, elastic band, foam”. And then there’s also the 1998 Brit Awards that weirdly ended with British deputy prime minister John Prescott soaked in ice water. In summary, a man of many talents.

1. Because He’s a (Gender Nonconforming) He

Danbert’s first mention on a Chumbawamba record itself appears to have been on 1994’s Anarchy. Feminist Bad Dog is followed by a number of samples before the beginning of anti-fascist Enough Is Enough:

- Hi, boys and girls, I’m Danbert Nobacon, I’m the transvestite of the group.

- I like it, I like it.

At this point in time, Danbert was well known for wearing skirts. An anarchist blog recounts: “During his early gigs, he was known for exposing himself to his audiences, and he would often describe himself as a transvestite. During several gigs, he would often be seen wearing a nun’s habit.” A 1997 news article mentions his arrest by Italian police in “a short black skirt and panty hose, which I often wear … supposedly because I didn’t have my passport with me. But the real reason was that I offended their masculinity”. Appropriately, the live album Showbusiness (1994) credits Danbert with “vocals, tiny dresses”.

Above mentioned blog goes on to say: “In 1987, Danbert released ‘Bigger than Jesus’ on Mind Matter Records ... ‘Bigger than Jesus’ was sold inside brown bags in stores because he decided to use a photograph of his penis for the cover.” Bigger than Jesus features a song called Because I’m a He which reads more like a white cis man’s reflections on intersectional feminism than actual song lyrics, but honestly, good for him.

I would at this point also like to mention one of the stories behind the name Chumbawamba. Yes, there are different ones. Yes, they are all made up. Anyway, Danbert recalls a dream in which he was trying to use a public toilet. However, instead of the usual two genders, the rooms were separated into “Chumba” and “Wamba”, confusing Danbert. Note also the Spanish(-ish) plural: Las Chumbas Wambas.

2. Getting All Mixed Up with Raymond

The following year’s Swingin’ with Raymond (1995) presented us with anti-authoritarian All Mixed Up. I hadn’t paid much attention to this song until recently and I’m only slowly warming up to Swingin’ with Raymond as a whole. The song describes turning a “no-wit whose face fits” into a political puppet leader by the grace of “Queen Victoria of Grantham” Margaret Thatcher. The verses are shouted by Danbert (I think; he is only credited with “666”), who is then crowned king in the pre-chorus:

Good King Danbert at the helm

His face on every coin of the realm

Why Chumbawamba consequently ask Robert F. Kennedy’s assassin “Sirhan Sirhan, where have you gone?”, I will leave up to your, the reader’s, interpretation.

3. Of course, Tubthumping

I really don’t have much to say. You know Tubthumping (1997). There’s a “Danny boy” in Tubthumping. You do the maths.

4. He’s in Trouble Again

I’m in Trouble Again on 2000’s WYSIWYG ironically tackles Chumbawamba’s newfound mainstream success. The liner notes describe their songwriting process under EMI:

We ring up our record company and they tell us what sort of thing the kids are listening to these days, so that we can construct our pleasing and melodic tunes with one ear to the marketplace … It’s all so pleasant that we can’t understand why some hurtful, hateful people think that we’re nasty and mean.

In I’m in Trouble Again, the singer is just trying to live their “squeaky clean” life as a pop star, while the cops are digging up their cellar floor looking to get them in trouble again (note the parallel to the marionette in All Mixed Up who is described as “squeaky clean, no skeletons”). The height of mainstream success expressed thus:

Now I turn water into corporate pop

And Danbert is a friend of mine.

Danbert’s status of a meme within the collective (a term anachronistic to his time with Chumbawamba) seems perfectly embodied in his overly dramatic and simultaneously silly opening speech for their final concert in 2012. And in the sleeve notes to the respective DVD Going, Going, Chumbawamba singer and guitarist Boff Whalley remembers his first time meeting Danbert:

We talked, and I discovered a quiet introvert who collected stolen hubcaps and beer mats and wore a home-made straitjacket. That’s how Danbert is today, frankly – not hubcaps and beermats, no. But a bizarre (and beautiful) mix of unassuming everybloke and unpindownable show-off.

[cassiopeiagarcia]

[ nap ] for your muse to fall asleep against mine

An invasion of privacy.

That's what Niragi used to call the fact that every few nights, Cass would show up at his room unannounced, with her blonde curls in a messy bun, the oversized t-shirt she used for sleeping, a few snacks, and a book or two she had been reading and wanted to share with her comrade. But, to be honest, the Spanish girl didn't really mind his words; paid no attention to them, shrugging when he complained, sticking her tongue out playfully at his annoyance and just staring at the militant with a shark-like grin, full of teeth, until he would give up and let her spend the night with him. Because, there was no private property between them, not after the running joke about them being communists, which had started on the day they had met, after sharing some dango...

However, lately, it seemed like... Cass didn't want to say it out loud, just in case she'd jinx the whole thing, but... the brunette man seemed to be actually enjoying her presence? Even going as far as to look for her in rooms crowded with people, to ask her about her day, her life before the Borderlands, her paintings, her books, her music. Give her a charm bracelet as a present for their second month-versary after missing the first one, a concept she had come up with as an excuse to do something nice for him, just because she wanted to. Because she was thankful to have him in her life.

Everybody was scared of him — oh, Niragi. He's so unstable, he's so mean and dangerous, he'll shoot you on the spot if you do something he doesn't like, he's evil, he drinks the blood of those he murders... were the whispers behind his back every time he patrolled the Beach, and Cass' only reaction at hearing them was to roll her eyes to the ceiling and sneer with contempt. They didn't know anything. Or maybe, it was her who wasn't aware of every single little thing Niragi did. But how could she think ill of him when she had woken up covered by a blanket after falling asleep in his sofa, reading some economic manuscript from 1844? When he had actually worn the matching pyjamas she had brought for them once, after a particularly difficult game, even if it had taken hours (and a lot of pouting) to convince him?

Tonight was one of those sleepover nights. She was drawing distractedly on a notebook, using a pencil, which was not her preferred method of creating art, that being paint or watercolors instead, but she didn't want to make his room as messy as hers was; she knew he valued order and cleanliness. Her head was on his shoulder, and the sides of their bodies pressed together. She wasn't quite aware of what he was doing — looking at her? Reading something? Cleaning his rifle? It could be any of those things: Cass didn't really pay much attention to her surroundings when she was in a creative mood.

However, being concentrated for so long also meant another thing; she was growing tired. And after yawning two or three times, and sleepily rubbing her eyes with a clenched fist, like a child would, she placed her tools on the nightstand, cuddling against her comrade, surrounding his body with one of her arms.

'I'm going to sleep, Niragi...' Her voice, usually high and attention-demanding, was now drowsy, her words, slurred and lethargic. 'Good night. I love you, okay? You don't have to say it back, I know you do too.' An uneven, cheeky smile, because if not she wouldn't be herself and a light kiss on his shoulder before she fell deep into the arms of Morpheus.

If the militant would take a look at what she had been doing, he'd find a portrait of himself. Not frowning, or with an expression of disgust or anger, but an actual, honest smile. A gesture she had only seen in few occasions but was constantly chasing after. Accompanied by some song lyrics that reminded her of him:

And for a moment, there's no pain For once, there's no more pain in your eyes But maybe a little love Just enough to convince us to keep breathing on

[popblank]

My Eurovision Song Ranking 2023

I have been unusually busy in the last couple of months so this ranking is very late and not too detailed. For this year’s ranking I generally listened to the official videos 3-4 times, though in a few cases I did either watch the video with captions/translations or looked up lyrics. Not feeling that strongly about most of the songs yet.

It’s Loreen

(1) Sweden, Loreen, “Tattoo” – The song is okay but I really like Loreen’s performance, both vocally and onstage. She makes the song compelling in a way that I think few other artists could.

Would listen to again

(2) Finland, Käärijä, “Cha Cha Cha” – Very catchy & instant. The melodic final section makes more sense after reading the lyrics.

(3) Lithuania, Monika Linkyté, “Stay” – Introspective, dramatic, singer-songwritery with a slightly-too-abrupt chorus that is kind of hypnotic. It took a few listens to really grow on me.

(4) United Kingdom, Mae Muller, “I Wrote A Song” – On my first listen I thought, “it’s not bad, though it’s not amazing.” Upon repeat listens I am finding it holds up well and I like that it tells a little story about channeling negative emotions constructively. Hope they have decent staging. 

(5) Portugal, Mimicat, “Ai Coração” – Liking the wordy uptempo Portuguese.

(6) Czechia, Vesna, “My Sister’s Crown” – Dark and dramatic and rather pointedly political; I wonder how good it will sound without the echoing chorus. 

(7) Spain, Blanca Paloma, “EAEA” – I like the flamenco electronic pop, yet feel I should like it more than I do since it seems to follow in the footsteps of “¿Quién maneja mi barca?” (one of my all-time Eurovision favorites). It is a bit hard to follow as it does not quite have the relentless drive of that song.

The rest below the cut:

Enjoy it.  May not seek it out but won’t skip it.

(8) France, La Zarra, “Évidemment” – She really has that dance-pop chanteuse thing going on. It’s compelling as I listen but afterward I can’t remember any part of the song except the title word, and something about her pronunciation of “évidemment” in the official recording is really throwing me off. It almost sounds like an American trying to speak French and it does not sound that way in the live recordings I can find.

(9) Pasha Parfeni, “Soarele şi Luna” – Obvious comparisons to “Shum” and “Fulenn” which were both in my top 5 pre-competition. (Not complaining.)

(10) Ukraine, TVORCHI, “Heart of Steel” – Prefer it to last year’s song, really.

(11) Serbia, Luke Black, “Samo Mi Se Spava” – The music actually evokes video game music in addition to using games as a metaphor.

(12) Austria, Teya & Salena, “Who The Hell Is Edgar?” – Fun, catchy, about something other than the usual topics (love, heartbreak).

(13) Estonia, Alika, “Bridges” – Piano ballad.  I like the repeated rising line in the chorus.

(14) Albania, Albina & Familja Kelmendi, “Duje” – Albania doing what it does.

Okay/Would have to be in the right mood to listen

(15) Iceland, Diljá, “Power” – She has a decent voice and I like the rising line of “oh-oh-oh-oh” at the start of the chorus.

(16) Slovenia, Joker Out, “Carpe Diem” – Musically fine but does not grab me. I generally like the concept of the lyrics but would hope for a little more of the implied angst to come through.

(17) Azerbaijan, TuralTuranX, “Tell Me More” – It doesn’t sound like a Swedish import, which is a pleasant surprise.

(18) Norway, Alessandra, “Queen of Kings” – Initially catchy but really isn’t standing up for me on repeats. I may be biased because MGP was the only national selection that I paid any attention to this year other than Melodifestivalen and my favorites were Ulrikke and Rasmus Thall.

(19) Armenia, Brunette, “Future Lover” – Thankful for the changeup partway through after the twinkly piano & strings. Little bit hard to follow the lyrics but reading them I like the idea of the song. Not a fan of the video though.

(20) Latvia, Sudden Lights, “ Aijā” – Solid. It’s fine.

There is something in it I might like, but not enough for me to seek it out

(21) Croatia, Let 3, “Mama ŠČ!” – Consciously offbeat. Not sure what’s going on, it’s catchy but the song doesn’t seem interesting enough on its own unless they can attach it to a great stage performance.

(22) Australia, Voyager, “Promise” – Starts out OK, nice that it goes a bit harder but only for maybe 10 seconds. With the barrage of questions in the verses, the whole thing feels like an interrogation followed by a bunch of demands. Sounds good though.

(25) Georgia, Iru, “Echo” – Entertainingly dramatic, but kind of hard to understand and the lyrics barely make sense.

(23) Germany, Lord of the Lost, “Blood and Glitter” – Sonically a nice change of pace.  A bit repetitive without using that to good effect.

(24) Italy, Marco Mengoni, “Due Vite” – It’s very Italian. Not really sticking yet but it might grow on me (“L’Essenziale” did). 

(26) Belgium, Gustaph, “Because of You” – I should like this more (upbeat, dance-y, uplifting) but my brain just hears background music.

(27) Denmark, Reiley, “Breaking My Heart” – Denmark and Cyprus can hang out and mope together. The repetition isn’t doing it for me.

(28) Ireland, Wild Youth, “We Are One” – All it needs is a music video where people of all shapes, sizes, colors, genders dance around together (see also: the videos from “Story of My Life” and Malta’s “I Am What I Am”).

(29) Netherlands, Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper, “Burning Daylight” – Talky midtempo. Vaguely Coldplay at end.

(30) Cyprus, Andrew Lambrou, “Broken Heart” – Dramatic wailer, lots of falsetto. Voice is more interesting than song.

(31) Greece, Victor Vernicos, “What They Say” – Different direction for Greece. Not sure about this boom-clap thing at the end.

(32) Romania, Theodor Andrei, “D.G.T. (Off and On)” – Kind of enjoying the bluesy 6/8; reading the lyrics it’s a familiar theme but the official music video stage performance is a bit off-putting.

Dislike outweighs like

(33) Malta, The Busker, “Dance” – While I feel the message of the song, the saxophone riff and “I feel better in my sweater” are deeply annoying to me.

(34) Poland, Blanka, “Solo” – Not offensively bad, just vaporously insubstantial.

(35) Israel, Noa Kirel, “Unicorn” – What exactly is the power of a unicorn, mythologically?

(36) Switzerland, Remo Forrer, “Watergun” – Feels faux-deep and particularly odd coming from Switzerland. Sounds like an attempt to cross “Arcade” (playing games theme) and last year’s Swiss entry (muddled message).

(37) San Marino, Piqued Jacks, “Like An Animal” – Kind of like Finland’s song last year but less fun. “I can smell you like an animal,” charming.