#and then mary also got tortured and brainwashed by them

[ahsokasforce]

supernatural writers really hate women because why is when mary screws up is “why don’t you just try to be a mom for once” and when john literally abuses sam and dean for over 20 years it’s “well it’s okay dad we know you did your best” like… HE DID NOT? STAND UP!! they made dean trauma dump on mary and list all the shit that happen to them when it’s was over john’s watch because she was dead? and that “i hate you but i love you” moment? WTF??😭😭😭 they were never this harsh on john but all it took was one single season to be enough to hate her… anyways thank you supernatural for bringing her back so people could say she’s on the same bad parenting level as john and killing her off for male trauma 😻🎉 girl power girls get it done etc etc

[dr-spectre]

yes!!! Yippee!!! Brainwashing and hypnosis are different things!!!! Good opinions spectre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IVE HAD THIS OPINION FOR MONTHS!!!! I AM THE PREACHER OF THIS!!! I WILL SHARE IT UNTIL EVERYONE GETS IT RIGHT!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Like... if you took 5 fucking seconds to search up the definitions of both you would realise just how different they both are.

Brainwashing is forcing different ideals into a person's head until they accept them, either via torture or psychological means. Hypnosis is literally all about control of one's self. The person who is hypnotised HAS A CHOICE! IF THE SUGGESTION IS NOT IN LINE WITH THEIR MORALS THEY WON'T LISTEN TO IT!!!! CALLIE LITERALLY SAID "OK fine I'll hear you out." TO OCTAVIO!!!!

Hypnosis is not how it's presented in media, it's not some thing where a person gets swirly eyes and becomes a mind controlled zombie, and then goes "oh man what was I doing?" NO! THAT IS FALSE! LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER SOUND!!!

It's literally just a deeply concentrated state while also being relaxed. Basically, being in a daydream or being in a flow state. THAT'S ALL THAT IT IS! Callie was holding her head in pain after the shades got shot off of her because she literally got flung out of a deeply concentrated state so very quickly. It fucked with her for a bit until she cleared up. THATS ALL!!!!! GOD!!!

Like, Callie is not even vastly different under the shades either, she's just normal Callie but more harsh and violent. That's it. And it makes sense because SHE'S MENTALLY ILL! SHES NOT DOING OKAY!! SHE HAD A FALLING OUT WITH MARIE! SHE GOT BURNT OUT! WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA ACT LIKE?!?!?!

She's not even that obedient to Octavio either. She back talks him over and over again in the final boss. She doesn't get punished for it either. God. People are actually so dumb I'm sorry but fucking hell. I'm tired of most Splatoon fans HAHAHAH! It's been 7 years and yet people still don't care about Callie. No one gives a fuck. God...

Have you seen what a brainwashed person acts like? They act like a robot, they act EXTREMELY DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE THEIR BRAINS HAVE BEEN FUCKED WITH! They act so obedient and cold. Does Hypno Callie act like that? NO!

Like a good example is Winter Solider from Marvel, that is an example of brainwashing in a character. Bro literally got experimented on and saying some words activiates him like a cold sleeper agent. Does Hypno Callie act like some cold calculated machine? NO! GOD PEOPLE!! USE YOUR BRAIN!!!!!

Anyways, rant over. I'm gonna keep ranting over and over again about this LMAO!

Also side note, if people keep saying Marina Agitando is just a brainwashed Marina I swear to fucking God bro. I'm gonna... FNEOWODUWO1PDIEM2LSKD

bad media literacy skills detected... commence autistic rambling...

[itsswimmingtragedycollection]

media literacy kicking the entire gen v fandom's ass with takes like 'oh but of course that two straight white people fell for supremacy, they don't understand oppression' when they are the only two people in the group who get it.

like cate was plucked out of her cold unloving home where she was eternally resented for something that happened because her family wanted an enhanced kid and it's not really her fault into supposedly warm Indira's embrace only to be brainwashed drugged and used as a guard dog for a nazi human experiment lab where sam was kept for years and years and endured god knows what kind of torture both mental and physical

on the other hand andre is basically a trust fund kid with lame ass powers who got to sit at the popular table because of his daddy and Jordan as much as they face queerphobia still led a pretty sheltered and safe life. their biggest problem is that they'll never be seen as cool as someone cis. remember that scene when Marie and Cate were exchanging traumas and Jordan was like 'yeah I killed my grandparents just kidding' because they simply do not relate to that experience. Emma just had a shitty mom like a lot of people.

Marie could be the one to get it but unfortunately 'the system' ate her brain. remember at the beginning when she's told 'if you fuck this up you'll end up at (a place that vaguely resembles the Woods)' and ever since she's been fighting tooth and nail to play by their rules and be Good according to her oppressors standards

there's a very good reason why that line 'we're not people to them' is exchanged between precisely Cate and Marie. because Marie while aware there are systems of oppression in place still lives under the delusion that she *personally* can beat them if she can prove she's one of the 'good ones' like there's a gold star and a kiss on her little forehead waiting at the end wheres Cate no longer lives under those same illusions.

yeah you're all totally right that the reason Cate and Sam got to be the heroes is because they are cis straight and white but we been knew that what shows up in the news is not what happens behind the curtains. there was a whole ass plot with Marie taking Jordan's credit and we saw with our own eyes that her position there wasn't enviable even if it seemed so .

mind you we don't even know what happened to Cate or Sam we only saw the four of them and they were the ones effectively fighting to maintain the current orderer so God knows what happened to the two that wanted fo crush it.

oppression for supes primarily works based off of how exploitable their power is and on that metric Sam and Cate absolutely eat the rest. and coincidentally they were used and abused the most. also this group included Luke and we started the show with the story of how he endured so much mental torture that he blew himself up.

yeah Marie is definitely way more powerful than we know but thus far no one except Victoria is aware of that.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e22 who we are (w. robert berens)

i don't usually read the summary on netlix (or elsewhere) but "undying trust" had my brain snap into focus in no time flat.

working with their torturer, whatever man. no worse of an offense than the whole bmol plotline 🤪

SAM I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood... DEAN Then what? Revirginize it?

was thinking too about that whole born again virgin episode (9x08) because of course they've done that before!

DEAN You know, it wasn't long ago, I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cass back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but still, we had 'em. And now... SAM Now they're all gone. And Mom, what they did to her... I just fell for their company line. Man, I... I saw what they were doing, and I – and I thought, Hunters on that scale, working together... how much good we can do. And once I was in, I... I just followed. 'Cause it was easy. Easier. DEAN Easier than what? SAM Easier than leading.

the relief of letting someone else make some decisions is a big one, if you can do it. the idea of leading feels a little out of left field though since it's basically just him and dean on equal footing and occasionally working with other people? being independent contractors vs employees

SAM Is this how you pictured it? The end? DEAN Oh, you know it's not. I always thought we'd go out like... Butch and Sundance style. SAM Yeah. Blaze of glory.

never not gonna dwell on how dean actually goes out.

good for dean, finally gets to use his boom stick

and good for us, this exchange of looks. surprisingly cute and sweet

and tada look at that our heroes are safe at the last moment all wrapped up in ten minutes. on to next drama, stopping mary from killing jody and the rest of the hunters. old mom not allowed to kill new mom

JODY When she clocked me out of the blue, I thought she was a demon. I had no idea that brainwashing could be so thorough. DEAN Jody, she... I'm so sorry. JODY It's not your fault.

man, i really have come to love jody and her dynamic with them. within the story, bobby obviously played a bigger role for them as a parental figure, but for me kim rhodes is so good at connecting with them and playing up that kind of particular familial teasing/bickering/fondness - she makes me believe that she really is family to them. not just the, we like you, so we're adopting you thing they do with everyone they come across these later seasons.

❤️

samantha smith also doing a job at being creepy killer mary, so serene

TONI The Mary that you know, the good Mary, she's hiding behind impenetrable psychic walls. And I'm afraid these walls... Well, they can't be torn down with grenades. Your mother can't be saved.

if cas could pick out the hallucifer from sam's brain, surely he could fix mary's brain too. especially with a baby lucifer powerup, right. (oh no, come to edit, we're doing it with the power of love!)

WALT Well, damn. ROY We haven't seen you guys since – DEAN Since you killed us. No hard feelings.

awkward. in the flashback they just show them getting both shot in sequence, i'd forgotten they killed sam and then argued over leaving dean alive, decided against it and went ahead and killed him too. 5x16. me thinking is dean glancing at his chest remembering how he got shot 🥲

well sammy's getting a big, "he's a leader" speech

SAM Um, so my – my brother and I, we – we, um... No, you know what? I called you here because people... um, our people, are being slaughtered. And we're next. The British Men of Letters, they came here because they thought they could do our job better than we could. And they hooked us with their flashy gear and their tech. Most of you had the good sense to turn 'em down. I didn't. They said they wanted the same thing we wanted, you know? A world free of monsters. That's not what they really wanted. They want control. They want to live in a world where they can sit in some office and decide who gets to live and who gets to die. And they've killed people. They've killed innocent people just because they got in the way. They think the ends justify the means. But we know better. We know hunting isn't just about killing. It's about doing what's right, even when it's hard. So we go by our gut, right? We play by our own rules, and that scares them. That's why they want us dead, 'cause we're the one thing they can't control.

all right. at least the music wasn't too much. the words though? it's just too much.

SAM I want you to follow me. Take the fight to them. To hit them before they hit us. We go in fast and hard and we fight and we beat them down until they give up or until they're dead. Look, they're well-trained and well-armed. Some of us might not make it back. But we will win. We will take down the bad guys because that's what we do. They're scared of us. Yeah. Good. They should be.

by this second part, i started giggling. so out of nowhere and cliche

and today, we celebrate our independence day or perhaps but the waters receded

my brother in sweat, poor jared. jensen slackin on towel duty. wonder if he struggled with the scene or just that it's a long speech so more time to be sweating visibly

DEAN No, my leg busted up the way it is, I'm no good in a fight. SAM I-I'll take a jacked-up Dean Winchester over any 10 other Hunters any day.

aww, sammy

DEAN Yeah. I saw you. You're ready for this. You show those sons of bitches who's boss.

this separation is a little contrived but okay, not going to complain that we get a nice moment out of it. the very special episode where sam gets to slip into a leadership role and succeed and dean gets to be the proudest brother/partner

DEAN You got this. Come here. You come back. SAM Promise. DEAN Bitch. SAM Jerk.

well that you come back / promise is what made me cry. and wasn't in the copy of the script linked on the wiki (production draft). so thank you to to whoever brought that about

oh no they've deployed a sweet little chunk for sam now i'm really going to cry. also know a conversation that's coming since i've seen gifs of it many times

they made this bmol bed so maybe a big dumb shootout action sequence was the only way to lie in it but it sure is a lot less... compelling, compared to what dean's doing. course, every time we're in the old house with mary (2x20, 5x16) it's in an episode i sobbed my way through. so. that's doing some of the work for them here too

DEAN You lied to me. I was a kid. You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone. And I... I had to be... more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it.

💔

DEAN And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

(i know this isn't the point, he's just trying to get through to her, but my little hand mentally raises like this was all far beyond any of their control)

DEAN I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once.

trying to think of when he's done it for someone besides sam.

DEAN I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything. On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

jensen did good with this one. later seasons he seems to not quite get there as intense with the emotions all the time like he did in early seasons, but he definitely got there in this one. and that was a long speech too

glad we didn't need to face any more redemption arc with torturer lady, killed ignominiously offscreen (ok i had to look up the spelling/definition to doublecheck and realized in my head i had dropped an entire syllable AND listening to the pronunciation had it way wrong. good thing i've never tried to say that out loud lol at best i think i was thinking ig-NO-muss-ly instead of ig-no-MIN-ee-uss-ly)

here at least is a throwdown that i can get behind, we've got many reasons to hate this dude and wanna see dean beat the shit out of him

get him, mary

huh. interesting they had jody kill evil bmol dr hess lady too

! elusive triple hug. sammy's having a real moment

SAM Mom. You don't have to be scared of me. (Sam walks over and hugs Mary. Dean walks over and places a hand on Sam's shoulder) DEAN Glad you're back, man.

no bonus winchester packed hug in this script either

well. that had a lot of good family hurt/comfort for me personally, and pretty light on the hurt. thank you, show. i will take it and jam it all in my pockets.

so are they gonna wrap up lucifer next episode, or is that setting the stage for next season? i have very little idea of what happens in these late-late seasons. vaguely, that a kline descendant is involved. not much more than that

(yikes just scrolled to the top of this post, this is very long)

[vampiremeerkat]

Who do you think are the most tragic EEnE characters you've written and why?

Tragic characters are my forte, makes me feel better about myself, but I'm not sure what counts here. Are you asking "acceptably canon" examples that don't revolve around supernatural nonsense, or is any interpretation allowed? If the former:

The Kankers' mother, Bebe, is a hopeless romantic from a neglectful household, who had to raise 3 infants by herself whilst living in poverty. Her health deteriorates as the years go by and it's not improving her spirits.

Mel from For Mel, Love Jon was kicked out on the streets by his father and spent most of his youth lonely and starving. He has a happy ending, though.

Nazz and Kevin are in love with each other, but Kevin's too stupid too live and ruined their initial friendship with his behaviour.

Jonny stopped hearing Plank somewhere in his teenage years and it's made him depressed. He's given medicine for it, but it warps his original personality and he knows this, still making him unhappy. His "happy" ending here is that Plank returns when he takes Edd's advice and ditches the drugs. ..I do not suggest you take Edd's advice, kids, this is fiction.

Jimmy is successful in his adult life, but madly in love with Sarah, who's still chasing after the twink who gave the bad advice in the example above. Because his unsubtle crush on her caused them to drift apart, he's lonely and miserable as well.

If the latter, we're entering a laundry list of contenders:

Genderbent Edd and Marie from Until I See You Again are stuck in an infinite reincarnation loop, and 9 times out of 10, enter situations that are objectively shit. Male Marie is usually to blame here, though only because the first and original Edd was a magical dumbo bitdch who cursed him to be a dumbo bitdch.

The genderbent Edd and Marie from Fairy Queen aren't doing better. Edd is a lonesome, ridiculed old queen of nothing who's kidnapped by a barbarian prince to be his wife, and after she accepts and thinks life has turned around for her, she discovers he's incurably crazy and has been brainwashing their children behind her back. But well, male Marie was raised to be crazy, and in addition, is the child of a woman with her own mental issues, he never stood a chance. You can also add in his father. Every wrong he committed was out of morbid fear for the family he fled from, and he was in love with female Edd as well, a confession that ended his life. Still, he had the choice not to torture his offspring, so that's a character I can't give my full sympathy. He's reincarnated into a horse, it's all very funny.

There's that one theory that argues Jonny is a lobotomized psychic and his old personality can only be called back upon when his husk self interacts with Plank or other faced objects.

There's Eddy, who will become a dementia-ridden man in his senile years, though perhaps it's the people around him who are tragic in this example. Lee is not a happy wife, but pretends to be.

Edd and his surroundings are fairly tragic in How To Save a Life. He survives a vampire attack and turns into a bloodsucking asshole, while part of his old self is still alive, but can't do anything. Meanwhile, his friends have no solutions, except shooting him.

The Japanese Edd and Marie die after getting trapped inside their school building and fighting a pretty hopeless battle with robots.

The Native American Edd, Lee, and Marie got their faces kicked in by foreigners. Lee and Marie are mainly angry because their people used to be the top throat-cutters, but Edd's from a docile tribe and his parents are missing, possibly dead.

The Arab Nazz went through heavy starvation before meeting Kevin, who saved her.

There are probably more examples, but I don't deem them tragic. Enough.

[chocolatecakecas]

Mary: abandoned her kids to work with serial killers and people who tortured Sam

ik youre spamming all of us and its pointless to answer but whatever ive got nothing to do tonight and im also really not a fan of glossing over a lifetime of canonnical child abuse so.

1) this is so funny because if that's youre argument..... sam literally worked with the bmol too, and mary was also tortured and brainwashed by them did you watch the show?

2) the fact that you're even comparing j*hn and mary as parents is frankly sickening. J*hn was responsible for a 4 year old and a 6 month old until the time they were in their early twenties and fucked up in every way imaginable....and mary came back to two guys in their mid 40s. that is not the same

[demonic-ninja-cat]

I honestly don't like SPN as a whole much at all anymore.  Like, I don't like the show as a whole, I don't like 90% of the characters, I don't like 90% of the fandom, and I don't like the concept itself("heroic" Hunters going around mercilessly killing "evil" Supernaturals and being praised for it).

Before you ask why I started watching it if I don't like it, I didn't always dislike it.  When I was younger, my sibling made me watch it, I got attached to Cas, and I didn't realize how bad Dean was and how fucked up Hunting was, so for a while I liked it.

And I still like my OCs, of course, and there are still a couple characters that I like and some that I at least have soft spots for, but I honestly hate just about everything else about the show, including the majority the most popular "heroic" and "good" and "neutral" and "not completely villainous" characters in some way:

Dean: this one is obvious, and I've gone through my massive lists of reasons that I hate him before, but the biggest ones are him being abusive as fuck to everyone he's close to, and how he's a prejudiced speciesist genocidal serial killer(a fact which is a major contributing factor to his abuse, as all of the people he treats the worst are/were supernatural in some way)

Sam: Like Dean he is a Hunter, and also he didn't ever get Jack away from Dean, he didn't defend Cas or Jack against Dean enough, he allowed/encouraged Jack to Hunt, and he is so codependent with Dean that he'll let anyone else suffer or die to save Dean or because Dean told him to do it

Cas: I have a soft spot for him, but he is still a Hunter, and still didn't stop Jack from Hunting or get Jack away from SamnDean ever, and he mercilessly killed tons of Supernaturals, including his own siblings, due to the Winchesters' brainwashing.  And it was brainwashing; he was abused and beaten into submission first by Heaven and then by Dean, hence I don't hate him, and I still have a soft spot for him

Jack: He is a Hunter, and almost all of the portrayals of him I've seen have been pro-Hunter, but I let it slide and still kind of like him, because he's a literal child who has been abused into thinking that what he and his "family" are doing when they Hunt is "saving people" and "using his powers for good"

Bobby: Literally wanted to kill a baby for being supernatural(Olivia the shifter), helped Dean force Sam into the torture-detox, and is of course a Hunter

Charlie: is a Hunter, canonically killed a teenage vampire, and doesn't even have a "tragic backstory" to explain why she's a prejudiced serial killer; like, she never lost anyone to an evil supernatural or anything, she literally was just saved from an evil supernatural by SamnDean a couple times and decided she wanted to "fight monsters" too

Claire: is a Hunter, is basically a female Dean personality-wise, her girlfriend was racistly killed for her whitegirlpain(also said girlfriend was a supernatural who teamed up with the people who kill her kind for a living), and I had some unpleasant experiences with rping with a Claire on an SPN rp server, which has caused me to hate her more than I did before

Jody: She's a Hunter and a Cop, and it annoys me how everyone worships her as this "super-awesome mom who adopts all the kids", when she only takes in kids who were hurt by Supernaturals(and never any hurt by Hunters), and she tells them all sorts of good things about Hunters and SamnDean and whatnot.  Those Hunter Stories are likely part of why Claire was obsessed with Hunting and thought that Hunting was the best way to "rebel" and "be independent and badass"

Garth: He's not quite as bad after he became a werewolf, but he's still a species-traitor who befriended and is cool with Hunters, and he, after he became a werewolf might I add, canonically blew up a whole warehouse for of supernaturals to save SamnDean

Mary Winchester: She join the BmoL, a genocidal hate group, who’s members tortured and r*ped her son, because she agreed that their genocidal goals were “good” and “saving people”!

Ellen and Jo, Eileen, Henry Winchester, Samuel and Deanna Campbell, and all one-off Hunter, MoL/BMoL, and Hunter-Ally characters: I don't remember enough about them to truly hate them, but they are all Hunters/MoL, so I automatically dislike them just based on that fact

Donna: Same as the characters above, but she's also a cop, and I remember her being speciesist in the episode with the Pishtacos

Mick Davies: He’s a BMoL Agent, and he killed an innocent teenage girl just because she was turned into a werewolf!

Arthur Ketch: He's a BMoL Agent, and he killed Magda Peterson, an abused teenage girl, just because she was a Supernatural!

Benny: wasn't the worst, but was a species-traitor who worked with Hunters against his own kind

Gabriel: the alien anal probe r*pe thing, and the fact that he sometimes worked with SamnDean(though I understand why he did so during the Michael/Lucifer apocalypse)

Crowley: asshole, bad parent, murdered and tortured innocent people, worked with Hunters/SamnDean

Rowena: asshole, bad parent, murdered and tortured innocent people, worked with Hunters/SamnDean(though I like her more than Crowley, but only because she’s a hot and badass evil woman)

Michael: asshole, tortured Sam and Adam in the Cage, tried to start the apocalypse

Honestly, Adam is the only popular character I can't find anything to complain about; he's not a Hunter, never killed innocents or tortured anyone, or really did anything else wrong, and his life was shitty as fuck; first, he was killed and eaten by the ghoul siblings, then he was dragged out of Heaven to be used as Michael's meatsuit for the apocalypse, and after that he was tortured for literally thousands of years because his worthless "brothers" only cared about each other and didn't even try to save him

[prince-of-elsinore]

More reasons to enjoy Season 12

Part 2 to this post

These are just my (mostly) not too serious thoughts on things I enjoyed about season 12 (which believe me, I do have criticism of, but not for this post) now that I have finished my re-watch of it.

- they unfridged the original fridged woman. bold move, good course correction

- Mick as a foil to Sam, Ketch as a foil to Dean. That's all. 

- it's goddamn refreshing to have Sam and Dean on the same page most of the time! Like in 12x15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell, Sam has been keeping the secret that he's working with the BMOL. But the secret only lasts one episode, and when Sam realizes he needs to come clean, Dean doesn't blow up at him. Sam being honest and Dean being accepting of Sam's decision: both evidence of growth! And in 15x20 The Future, they're on the same page about not wanting to let Cass go with Kelly. They both think he's been brainwashed (b/c that is definitely what it looks like). I just like seeing them agree on stuff, ok?

- Sam embracing his life and feeling comfortable with himself!! I see this season as a turning point, especially for Sam. I don't believe he's simply been brow-beaten into accepting a life he hates; I think he's consciously choosing to embrace the good of what he does and to take pride in it. His relationship with hunting will never be the same as Dean's, but, like I said: they're on the same page. As he tells Mary in 12x14 The Raid--"I chose this life." This is mostly due to choosing Dean, more than choosing hunting, but in any case, it is a conscious choice and Sam is making the one that is worth it to him, the choice that brings him fulfillment. And he even sees new worth in hunting itself, in a way that is very much in line with his character, as he expresses in 12x18 The Memory Remains (which I talk about more here).

- and that newfound confidence and comfort with who he is allows Sam to take a huge step in 12x22 Who We Are. I was so proud of him when he says "I called you here" instead of "We called you here." Sam has always had an independent streak, and he's stepping out from Dean's shadow in a healthy way here. He's allowing himself to be an individual agent. I always felt that in the end, he needed something of his own to be fulfilled, more than hunting with Dean--either a mentorship or leadership position (both of which he gets in the late seasons). This is his first step towards that, and he's so capable of it! He is a badass and he leads the hunters to victory over the BMOL on his own. 

- and Dean lets him!! This is a huge step for Dean too! Of course he's still worried about Sam (the "you come back" gets me every time), but he's not insisting on being there to protect him. He believes in Sam. He tells Sam he's ready for this, and when Sam hears it from Dean, he knows it's true. They need each other, but here we're seeing need of a healthier type--the way no one is an island, and we all need the love and support of our friends/family. They offer each other that, and it gives them the strength they need. I was so proud of Dean in that moment.

- ALSO so proud of Dean for, for once, acknowledging his own needs. Trying to save Mary is the right task for Dean--he'll never give up on family. But in the process, he speaks some truths that needed speaking. Admitting that he was set up to fail in raising Sam, that his whole life has been so unfair. Letting himself feel resentment towards the family whose hold is so tight on him. But, at the end of the day, still choosing love. "I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand... 'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once." Dean understands better than anyone that sometimes love causes harm, but it's still love and who can blame a person who acts out of love? And the thing is, love can also redeem. And here, Mary and Dean, both of whom have made some terrible choices in the name of love, find their way back to each other through love. Dean gives Mary the forgiveness he seeks for himself. This is Dean at his best.

- and even Sam gets in on the action. He, too, chooses love, and forgiveness. The family hug at the end of Who We Are is EVERYTHING.

- ok Who We Are isn't the only good episode so I'm gonna backtrack to talk about some others, like 12x11 Regarding Dean--it's funny! It's sad! Carrying on a great spn tradition of episodes like Mystery Spot and Yellow Fever. The sticky notes are wonderful. Sam knowing Dean well enough to leave them in the trunk of the Impala, with a big "NO" over the grenade launcher. Dean holding up "Witch Killing Bullets" without saying a word. Pointing his gun in confusion at Sam, who yells and points, "Brother! Witch!" :)

- 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)—who doesn’t love a Tarantino tribute? (Having just watched Kill Bill, I can certainly say I love it). And the return of the Colt! Crowley's "It’s amazing what some people just leave laying about." Snark king.

- 12x13 Family Feud—I want to write a longer meta about the theme of family and love and sacrifice in this episode, so I won't go into it here. But another nice thing is how united the brothers are in their anger when Mary reveals she's been working with the BMOL. It's the closest we get to addressing Sam's torture and violation at the beginning of the season. I get the feeling Dean isn't so angry b/c of what Lady Bevell did to him, but b/c of what she did to Sam, which makes me think he knows it was bad, and Dean supported Sam in whatever he needed after that, whether it was talking about it or just giving some space, etc. Love some defensive big brother Dean.

- 12x14 The Raid—Actually a pretty tense action episode. And Mick is cool.

- 12x16 Ladies Drink Free—The Mick team-up is fun (I like changing up the dynamics), as is seeing them stay in a 3 star hotel lol. Dean has some good moments that highlight his growth, too. His "I used to think the same thing, too" to Mick, as if it weren't already obvious that he's taken "saving people" more to heart than "hunting things." He's done a lot of work to evolve beyond who he was with the Mark of Cain and even before. He also makes it perfectly clear what he thinks of guys skeeving on underage girls, and it's nice the writers finally emphasize that Dean does not like that behavior. He's past the point in his life where he'd make a joke about cheerleaders being legal (back in season 4. Quick digression: that's definitely a gross thing to say, but I always saw it as performative more than a declaration of intent. He puts on what he thinks macho guys would say. Not that Dean doesn't oggle what he likes, but one thing has always been very clear to me about Dean--he's a fan of enthusiastic consent. Anyway this should probably be a longer post b/c I could talk about Dean and performative masculinity and sexual attraction ad nauseam so I'll leave it there)

- 12x18 The Memory Remains—I've already gone over in my previous meta what this ep says about legacy, but there are other fun things about it. Like a Goat-headed monster! Man, how long has it been since the bros took on an urban legend like this? Like... any since freakin' Bloody Mary? Also Dean being cool with the kid smoking weed. You just know he likes to light up sometimes. Man, I need more weed-smoking Dean in my life

- 12x20 Twigs and Twine and Tasha Banes--this is a good fuckin ep. Finally, someone else on this goddamn show is allowed to be as codependent and unwise as Sam and Dean, and isn't punished for it. Let Max keep his wood-puppet sister! (Wow I KNOW it's really fucked up b/c I guess he can control her, too, but damn if it isn't fascinating. And sad. I hope they figure out some way to restore her autonomy) I stan two (2) codependent witch twins

- 12x21 Something About Mary--I'm a sucker for the silent communication and flawless telepathy as Sam and Dean find the bug and lay the trap for the BMOL. And that letter from Eileen :C (Even if her thing with Sam leaves me cold, I'm glad she got to come back to life b/c she sure didn't deserve to go like that)

- Ok one more thing about Who We Are--I'm a sucker for the angst of them thinking they're gonna die trapped in the bunker. And then Dean comes through with the grenade launcher, AND gets out the hole before it caves in. BAMF. I love that they saved themselves rather than some deus ex machina. No Supernatural interference necessary. Not even any deals with reapers, etc.

- I lied, one MORE thing about Who We Are--Sam doesn't take the bad deal Hess offers him (to help with Lucifer)! Once upon a time, I believe that Sam would have been so scared that he'd take the deal with the snake, masking his fear and foolishness as pragmatism. But he knows his own worth now. He knows he doesn't need the BMOL, terrified as he is.

- Finally, it was sad to say goodbye to Crowley in the finale, but it was a worthy end. You'll be missed, Fergus MacLeod.

[maydayparkers]

Alright, so this probably isn't gonna happen in the actual comics, but I want to ask how you'd want Mayday to be introduced into 616. I know it's implied that Norman had her killed when she was born, but come on, this is Norman. He's an asshole. Do you really think he'd waste the chance to torture Peter by raising and brainwashing his daughter?

Yes my thoughts my exactly.

I’m choosing to interpret mc2’s Peter’s “final” Showdown with Norman as ASM #800 (they had him get his leg fucked, even! It’s perfect!) which went down differently because he had multiple people helping out instead of going at it on his own. This is our point of divergence because fuck the Kindred arc

We KNOW that OMD only changed the Parker’s marital status and not the actual events in their lives for the most part, but seems to have soft retconned May’s existence so I’m interpreting that as PeterMJ (and family i suppose) not remembering the baby the way that people couldn’t figure out Peter’s ID back before spider island. (Can’t figure out or remember unless told directly)

So when Norman tries to get under Peter’s skin one more time before getting his ass handed to him he says something along the lines of “you’re only hurting the ones you love, you don’t even know where the little one is” something something, some talk about his legacy and maybe linking it up with the little one comment or maybe outright saying something like “you made my child weak so I made sure you wouldn’t make the same mistake with yours” because Norman is creepy like that

And it CLICKS (and also Kaine is there because FUCK YOU he was super involved in the mc2) so Peter is like WHAT. DID. YOU. DO.

He beats Norm to near death as per canon but now after this comes the frantic search for answers and the questions of why they didn’t remember.

Peter gets the heroes he trusts the most to help him out busting as many of Osborn’s hideouts (underground labs, safe houses and what not) while MJ, who is OBVIOUSLY as involved in the story and as invested, is much more aprehensive about it because Norman is a crazy bastard who toys with peoples emotions for fun so YEAH he may be trying to get the last laugh!

It’s not that she doesn’t want to believe but that she can’t deal with hoping and being crushed again if it turns out it WAS a ruse

(mirroring the original time that this literally happened back when aunt May got brought back from comic book death for the first time)

Eventually the search slows down and it becomes increasingly clear that there’s nothing to find UNTIL.. Kaine shows up with a lead: Alison Mongrain, the only nurse involved with Mary Jane’s delivery.

They manage to track down her last known address before she died to some obscure villa in some european town (because that’s where continuity goes to die in spidey comics) and there she was. A little brunette girl (idk about 4-ish years old? 5?) minding her business, waiting for her “grandpa” to come visit

As Pete and Kaine get closer the girl notices them way before she should’ve been able to hear them and it becomes increasingly clear that Norman had made it so spidey had been a bogey man figure in the kid’s life because she is TERRIFIED of both of them and even more so when the masks come off. If Spidey was untrustworthy, she was told Peter Parker was worse.

Cue a flurry of storylines stemming from this

[thegeminisage]

22 and 26 dear

22. Popular character you hate?

i thought it was crowley who i have mixed/lukewarm feelings on but man i underestimated how much people like ketch. he is UTTERLY repulsive to me. he was complicit in the genocide of monsters, willingly killed children with no remorse, even enjoyment, allowed mary to be tortured and brainwashed, and the only time he showed remorse about anything was when his own selfish feelings got hurt because she didn't like him anymore, and then he DIES and it's like okay well at least that's over! but it isn't. they like his actor and buckleming stans the worst people so they just BRING HIM BACK and let him hang around and help sometimes. i could GAG. we didn't even like. we never saw mary learn that he was alive again despite her and him being in the same place at the same time in 13.22 and not that i wanted more mary and ketch content but buckleming brought him back and buckleming stanned him and BUCKLEMING wrote that episode and had to devote half of it to making sure he got back to our world so like ??? what even was the point? he was all but her abuser. he had her on a fucking LEASH. they couldn't show her disgust and horror because they were too busy writing lucifer's redemption arc and because they think ketch also deserved a redemption arc??? and then they have to nerve to be like yeah he tortured rowena but she's still gonna wink at him and flirt with him??? after her backstory of traumatic torture at lucifer's hands???????? I HATE HIM SO MUCH and worst of all is those dean/ketch people like that man SLEPT WITH AND TORTURED HIS MOTHER he has killed CHILDREN that is DISGUSTING he LOOKS LIKE PLAYDOUGH i have to stop i could go on but like least favorite spn character by a MILE

26. Most shippable character?

i feel like the easy answer for this one is dean because he keeps having men fall in love with him but actually i think rowena is a pretty good candidate too. she had sexual chemistry with amara, with billie, AND she slept with charlie. bernard her little bodyguard guy from 13.19 was basically in love w/ her. she and mary never spoke but i ship them too. and to people who like rowena/sam there's also that. rowena/ketch is bad and disgusting but like. there's a lot of rowena ships is my point. she flirts with everybody u know?? personally if i could only pick one it'd be rowena/amara. man we could have had it all

[salty ask meme]

[mylittleredgirl]

trekathon: disco 1x8

in this week’s episode of star trek discovery:

saru gets zapped by a sentient version of the winamp player visualizer and proceeds to terrify the fuck out of me

intrigue! on the ship of the dead

with only a passing knowledge of latin, i assume “si vis pacem, para bellum” means “if you want peace, square the fuck up”

remember that time odo said “the klingons felt menaced by fog?” 

i feel like that’s about to become relevant

we’ve avoided this topic long enough:

so

t’kuvma shining a bright light to draw klingon ships in from around the quadrant

that whole business with the red lights appearing all over the galaxy in season two

detecting klingon ships by sonar

it’s just going to be easier on all of us if we accept that for mysterious space reasons, for a brief period of time about 10 years before captain kirk’s five-year mission, light and sound traveled at infinite speed and then we don’t worry about it anymore

yikes™️:

is there anything creepier than when a character get possessed by aliens and starts attacking their friends

with a calm smile

and it turns out they weren’t possessed after all

i mean i too would go to some lengths to get rid of anxiety but i wouldn’t donkey-kick my colleagues and destroy the federation’s last hope of ending the war!! SARU!!!!

this episode is very stressful

i posted this and then immediately realized i need like three more hours of thought before i can get into it properly, but it feels actually inevitable that saru and michael would get into a physical fight and the “you won’t stop taking!” line just. the way they’re both grieving for georgiou and he’s taking it out on her HURTS.

meanwhile, klingons:

that “scream” scene with l’rell and cornwell? a+++

i don’t remember what l’rell is after and that makes this Very Good TV

but seriously... mary chieffo creating a layered character using none of her actual face or eyes or teeth and in a language she doesn’t speak

i know things are going to go to hell before redbubble would have time to deliver, but i want lorca and cornwell and tyler to have matching “i got tortured by the klingons and lived to tell about it” jackets because that seems to happen a lot

STOP STOP I ALREADY LOVE THEM:

they really really got me with the michael and ash tyler thing, like there’s a deep wailing in my soul when i think about the ship they make me think they are setting up here

“our futures look different” 😭😫😭

i was going to keep these recaps text-only because i love mediocre memes too much to stop once i start, but there’s really no other way to express my love for ash tyler’s pickup line:

AND IT WORKS

i just want them to get on a boat together in peacetime and eat fresh trout!!! discovery!!!!! why are you doing this to me!?!!???

while i’m making vaguely relevant memes:

it’s like gersha phillips looked gene roddenberry’s ghost dead in the eye and designed these field jackets as a personal attack

other characters:

tyler and lorca have now both played the Reveal Trauma card as a diversion technique and people wonder why 100 years later it became standard to put a trained mental health professional on the bridge

in the meantime, we have tilly in the mess hall!

stamets’s mushroom hangover periodically yeets him out of this dimension oops

that definitely seems like a thing you should not keep to yourselves when stamets is the key operating component of your starship engine but ok

i REALLY thought that when saru gave tyler the pahvan harmony crystal it was going to knock loose the klingon brainwashing

i have spent way too much time on this:

i feel like we should talk about captain t’shen kovil of the uss gagarin, human man with a traditionally female vulcan name

i mean obviously?? the first thought is trans human-vulcan hybrid, BUT we know from tng that vulcan/romulan ears remain dominant for at least two generations, and it hasn’t been long enough since enterprise-era for more vulcan generations to pass

so instead, consider: “10,000 names for your baby from 65 Federation worlds!” books

linus! jennifer! t’shen! imagine the federation version of the babynames.com message boards

“i want to give my baby an andorian name but that’s sooo popular right now ugh so i’m thinking i should spell it in rigellian or klingon??”

very sad though that we didn’t get a replay of that “i was told to expect a vulcan” scene with stamets, except it’s t’shen and michael meeting each other

“i assumed you’d be a woman.” “i assumed you’d be a man.” “i also thought you’d be a vulcan.” “i get that a lot.” “....... actually so do i.”

rip dude i thought about you for 75 times longer than you were actually on screen

other moments of delight:

michael’s explanation of starfleet protocol brings peace to my soul

i was going to come at voyager specifically for their tendency to toss everything under the prime directive banner but then it occurred to me that voyager is well over 100 years later, so they probably added some sub-paragraphs

so more specifically, michael’s explanation of starfleet protocol at a simpler time in star trek history brings peace to my soul

“mr. rhys, can i trouble you to FIRE at something!” i.... still really like lorca

“the needs of the one” most romantic line in star trek confirmed

[ilonga]

rise of skywalker and sequels salt time, y’all

things I’m salty about in the rise of skywalker and the star wars sequels, in no particular order:

- Finn was sidelined 

- FINN WAS SIDELINED

- he was such an interesting character with so much potential (a stormtrooper who deserted!! pretty sure that was the first time we’d ever seen that!!), and it was all ignored and he was turned into background noise for what?? kylo ren??

- seriously! after TFA, the movies should have explored his backstroy! we should have seen his stormtrooper past affect him!! maybe a stormtrooper revolution!! he should have had a CHARACTER ARC!

- also his force-sensitivity being turned into a joke and comic relief was frankly insulting

- they could have done so many things with that side of the character (even though it was kind of out of nowhere)! parallels between finn and rey, finn questioning his identity, the whole a former stormptrooper being force sensitive thing should have been explored!

- Poe was sidelined

- Poe was a spice runner for no reason?? 1) isn’t that a rude stereotype, and 2) Poe is not Han Solo 2.0!! he was his own, different character!

- Finn/Poe didn’t happen

- gonna be salty about that forever, though I guess I saw it coming :( (it’s disney, what did I expect?)

- but they gave Poe a straight love interest that we’d never heard of before this movie and who he had like two lines of dialogue with just to rub it in?? like, really?

- they completely forgot Rose existed

- like, listen, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the finnrose kiss either, but you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen and hope everyone forgets about it

- and sure, rose’s introduction and character in TLJ was a bit clumsy

- BUT YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE HER AND PRETEND SHE DIDN’T HAPPEN

- she had a lot of potential as a character, and interesting backstory, a practical pragmatic personality, and a lot of ways she could play off the other characters

- TROS could have been where we saw Rose grow as a character and really shine

- instead, she was forgotten

- ugh

- REY PALPATINE WAS THE DUMBEST FRICKING THING OKAY--

- like, first of all, palpatine coming back for some reason somehow was the most ridiculous direction this movie could have gone and didn’t work, at all

- their enemy for the first TWO MOVIES was the First Order and Kylo Ren

- they had a huge moment in TLJ where the Resistance is steadily being destroyed and they won’t last long against the First Order

- now they’re supposed to take on the First Order and a now-supposedly-immortal emperor palpatine who has a collection of unmanned star destroyers he can control for some reason??

- both of them at once? the resistance is barely alive as is, now you’re adding an OP extra army + sith lord to the mix?

- I mean, this is ridiculous. Palpatine’s dead. Anakin’s big sacrifice in return of the jedi was KILLING palpatine. now he’s back, and the resistance somehow realises he’s back and decides he’s enemy #1 now?

- how did the resistance find out a dead sith lord came back to life on a remote planet anyways?

- and WHAT ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE FIRST ORDER? AND KYLO REN?

- Kylo Ren, who they finally decided was going to be the main villain in TLJ (even with that stupid “rey trying to redeem the mass murderer” plot going on in the background), and now they don’t have the guts to commit to making him evil (which he was for the LAST TWO MOVIES AND THE MAJORITY OF TROS)

- so, since they weren’t committed enough to make Kylo a villain like he actually was and didn’t have the groundwork for a redemption, they just decided to ignore the fact that he was evil and hope it would go away

- like, are we going to forget that he literally MURDERED HIS DAD, HAN SOLO

- or that he and his first order destroyed a whole SYSTEM OF PLANETS? filled with billions of innocent people?

- he personally tortured Poe, he personally tortured Rey, and he was complicit in a system that kidnapped Finn, took him from his family, and brainwashed him

- not to mention that one of the opening scenes of TROS was him literally massacring people

- but no!! it’s all fine now, bc he looked at his dad’s ghost a little sadly and got a new lightsaber color

- like, no. he isn’t “redeemed” because he’s decided he has the hots for rey. heck, that makes it even worse. he’s been trying to manipulate her for all three movies, he’s gaslighted her, he’s threatened her, he’s hurt the people she cares about. NONE OF THAT IS OKAY. and it’s even less okay that all of his evil deeds can be written off because rey’s “”love”” for him “healed” him or whatever the fuck they want us to think

- and why would they have Rey HEAL him? after SHE stabbed him? in what universe does that make sense?? even if rey didn’t defeat him fairly bc he was distracted or whatever, this is still the supreme leader of the army rey and the rebels are trying to defeat. like, rey, are you a part of the resistance or not? it doesn’t matter if he was “nicer” to you than the rest of the rebels. He’s still your ENEMY. Your “”empathy”” here helps no one, least of all yourself. Kylo Ren dead would have been a massive victory for the resistance--maybe they’d even have had a chance against the first order then! you know, the first order? the enemy you were fighting for the last two movies? 

- is this the message you want to be sending to young girls in the audience? that it’s ok if their partner hurts them, hurts other people, is a bad person in general, because their love can “”heal”” him? and that eventually, he’ll turn good if you just try hard enough?

- this is how people wind up in abusive relationships!! that shit is NOT okay

- and the kiss is ridiculous for the same reasons. you don’t owe kylo ren anything, rey. Not in the least for “rescuing” from a situation that was pretty much created bc of him. He’s the one who teamed up with palpatine at the beginning of the movie, remember?

- sometimes I feel like this movie forgot that kylo ren is, you know, a bad person, which the other two movies spent their entire runtime showing us

- like darth vader’s sacrifice was one thing. first of all, it was for his son, his child, and secondly, vader was very much under the power of the emperor and debatably had the mindset of a slave

- kylo ren, on the other hand, was completely under his own power. HE was making the choices, and calling the shots. HE murdered Snoke. And he died for a girl he was manipulating and gaslighting constantly and that he didn’t have much of a connection to other than “the force”

- like, darth vader’s “”redemption”” definitely wasn’t perfect either. you can argue that him killing the emperor and sacrificing him self to save his son didn’t negate any of his actions or him being a bad person. but it was definitely more meaningful and better handled.

- and let’s talk about rey

- I will forever be bitter that rey didn’t get a meaningful character arc and character growth

- which is so disappointing because she was SUCH an interesting (& mysterious) character with so much potential in TFA

- I feel like, in making her palpatine, which was pretty out of nowhere and contrary to the last jedi, they were so busy trying to fit her heritage into the movie in a way that sort of made sense that they forgot to make the movie about her growing as a character and person

- couldn’t they at least have given her her own lightsaber?

- I mean, her being a palpatine is already ridiculous because since when does palpatine have a son? (clone, whatever) And since when did that son have some sort of epic struggle where he refuses to join palpatine and runs away? and when did that son find someone he fell in love with, and have a daughter? and then subsequently abandon her, a seven-ish year old, on a dangerous desert planet? (I mean, wasn’t palpatine dead by then anyways?)

- it just doesn’t fit with the already established star wars universe. we already know palpatine’s story (well, not the beginning of it, but enough). It was movies 1-6, clone wars, and rebels. if he had had a son that had a luke-esque struggle against the darkside, it would have shown up.

- it just doesn’t fit

- but anyways, back to rey

- I guess they were trying to give her some luke-style struggle where she struggles with her heritage and a pull to the darkside that she has to ultimately triumph over? but it doesn’t work

- one, because she never HAS any struggle with the dark side. shooting lightning out of your fingers out of nowhere doesn’t count (and wasn’t that a ridiculous scene. it was more comical than anything else, which is definitely not what they were going for)

- a struggle with the darkside is about being tempted to give into anger, fear, and hatred, and struggling not to do the wrong things and turn evil. In luke’s story, we SAW that. we also saw luke’s horror and eventual acceptance of his heritage, which we never really saw with rey. It was just like, “okay, guess I’m a palpatine?” and it wasn’t nearly as impactful bc palpatine had been dead for the past thirty-ish years. as a contrast, vader was a living and very present villain who the heroes had to contend with, and it was personal for most of them.

- so I guess they tried to make that her character arc, but it didn’t work. so we were left with a stale character who didn’t really have any meaningful victories or losses.

- is she really a “”mary sue”” like everyone’s claiming if they never really made the story about her?

- I think that was the biggest thing that was so unsatisfying about the sequels

- she was hyped up to be the first real mainstream female jedi protagonist (obviously clone wars got there first, but movies are definitely more mainstream than a show, sorry cw :( ), but she never really got a journey, struggles, or real triumphs. which is such a shame because she was this really empowering character in TFA that I was so excited to see more! but her trilogy-wide character arc just wasn’t satsifying

- I wanted to see her really struggle, and rise above her struggles! I wanted her to have meaningful triumphs!

- also I don’t think she ever got injured either, which is definitely a deviation from the star wars trilogy pattern. that’s kinda strange. (luke lost his hand & got electrocuted, han got frozen in carbonite, leia got tortured & shot, anakin got, well, a LOT of injuries, but even before becoming darth vader w/ the foregone conclusion, he had his arm cut off, padme was pretty heavily injured on genosis, and obi-wan was injured in the fight against dooku)

- yup

- also the sith wayfinder was kinda dumb, and I never felt like there were real stakes in TROS

- and let’s address the rey skywalker thing: ok, fine, I get what they were trying to say, kind of

- and I’m not foaming at the mouth about it like some people are. I’m fairly indifferent

- but it would have been a lot more meaningful if rey had had like, a really close, deep relationship with Leia and Luke, so she could say that she and they considered her a skywalker

- but she didn’t have that sort of relationship with them, not really. Sure, she and leia were friends on-screen, but that was it. and luke didn’t really seem to like her all that much. 

- so like, “meh”

- especially since Leia’s technically a Solo or an Organa, so that line working really relied on her relationship with Luke, which wasn’t strong enough

- yea, so that’s that

- the “jedi voices” scene was pretty cool though (AAAAH AHSOKA!! AND ANAKIN!! AND ALL THE OTHER JEDI!!), and I liked her yellow lightsaber (although she could have built her own lightsaber at the BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE, instead of carrying luke’s the whole time)

there are things I like about the sequels, mind you. a lot of things!! but there’s a lot I was disappointed in too.

congrats if you got this far, that was a LOT of salt

[elizabear]

body language will do the trick

OK, so I know this is going to be fully AU in about five seconds when The Falcon and the Winter Soldier airs, but those couples counseling scenes in the trailer got me WAY TOO EXCITED and I really couldn't help myself.

Title: body language will do the trick

Rating: Explicit

Category: M/M

Relationship: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes (background Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff)

Additional tags: frenemies to lovers, coworkers to lovers, couples counseling, because sam and bucky can’t stop flirting at work, post-avengers endgame, but it’s au because, steve rogers isn’t old, and natasha romanoff lives, captain america sam wilson, shield agent bucky barnes, past steve rogers/bucky barnes, but it’s minor, bucky and sam fall in love, but COMPETITIVELY, oral sex, anal sex, tender railing, idiots in love, praise kink

Words: 12,598

Link to AO3: here

Summary:

“There’s no way you’re going to win this,” Bucky tells Sam. “I am going to love language the shit out of you.”

Sam gives him a considering look. “You do seem like you’d be really good at that.”

Bucky’s cheeks flush with heat. “Thanks, pal, I—”

Sam smirks, and Bucky’s eyes narrow. He shoves his elbow into Sam’s side and stalks off, leaving Sam cackling behind him.

“Your ass looks great today!” Sam yells.

Bucky reaches up to flip Sam the bird, and he definitely does not feel grateful that he wore his good jeans today. Bucky’s ass looks great every day.

Bucky Barnes is pretty sure that these counseling sessions—supposedly for Bucky and Sam’s “interpersonal issues”—are Director Fury’s revenge for that whole fake assassination situation. Which, to be fair to Fury, came about as the result of Bucky’s very real assassination attempt, even if the subsequent “assassination” was fake, so Bucky can’t exactly blame Fury there. What Bucky doesn’t understand is why their possibly-fake counselor—is she a real counselor, or just another one of Fury’s spies?—chooses to conduct her “therapy” sessions in the unlikely and frankly suspicious location of an underground bunker.

Dr. Carson’s therapy bunker is probably just a temporary location, since usable office facilities with running water and electricity are still pretty limited after the Blip, but Bucky was definitely under the impression that modern American therapists’ offices were supposed to be more soothing than this. He’d expected a bland but tasteful space filled with a cushy sofa and watercolor paintings and the calming sounds of nature recordings. Instead, Bucky and Sam are sitting in uncomfortable chairs in a dim room with bare cement walls and unflattering fluorescent lighting. Is Fury even trying to sell this fake counseling op?

Bucky and Sam’s counselor/interrogator is most definitely hostile. Although Dr. Carson looks lovely in her delicate green silk blouse and expensive silk scarf, her expression is stern and sour. She’s styled her glossy dark hair neatly, in gentle waves that summon a distant memory of the way women used to wear their hair in the 1940s, and Bucky wonders if this is Dr. Carson’s authentic style or if it’s just part of another SHIELD spy game, meant to trick or manipulate Bucky into confiding in Dr. Carson because she looks familiar and nonthreatening.

Bucky considers it an insult to the memory of Peggy Carter if Fury thinks he could’ve worked with Carter for two years in the SSR and still underestimate a woman just because she has nice hair and a pretty outfit.

Also, if Dr. Carson’s trying to lull Bucky into a false sense of security, why is she doing it in this weird basement?

Honestly this whole counseling thing really does seem like it’s secretly just a poorly planned interrogation.

Like right now. Dr. Carson asks, “Are you having a staring contest?” and Bucky isn’t going to disclose valuable intel by admitting that while Sam is definitely having a staring contest with him, Bucky is just using this as an excuse to look into Sam’s eyes, which are warm and brown and make Bucky feel all sorts of confusing things. Bucky is trained to resist interrogation, and that piece of information definitely falls under the category of “unexpected and alarming potential weaknesses.”

Also Bucky’s still sort of figuring out how he feels about Sam’s whole eye and face and shoulder situation, so the staring contest is actually a pretty great cover for whatever the fuck is really going on with him. Half of successfully surviving an interrogation is letting your captors fill in the blanks themselves and then pretending like their waterboarding is the worst thing you’ve ever endured.

Unfortunately, while Bucky is congratulating himself on successfully maintaining operations security—and winning their staring contest, no reason he can’t do both at once—Dr. Carson seems to reach her limit for the amount of shit she’s willing to endure from them today.

“You’re not taking this seriously.” Dr. Carson shoots them with a hard glare. “I’m giving you a five minute break, and if you’re not ready to open up and work on your communication and compatibility issues, I’m going to have to advise Fury to put you both on leave.”

Bucky’s fine with being put on leave, and he’s fully prepared to wait out SHIELD, Fury, and Dr. Carson. It took HYDRA fifteen years to break him down enough to send him out on missions, and no matter how much they tortured him Bucky didn’t shed so much as a single tear until they showed him newspaper headlines about what a bad pilot Steve turned out to be.

Also, Bucky’s not entirely sure that he’s not actually immortal, so he figures his patience will probably far outlast Fury’s determination to punish him for shooting him a few times when he didn’t even die. Actually, now that Bucky thinks about it, Fury’s probably less mad about the whole fake assassination thing than he is about Steve forcing him to offer Bucky a job and then grit out the most begrudging apology Bucky has ever heard in his life for SHIELDRA holding Bucky hostage as a brainwashed assassin while Fury was the Director of SHIELD. Right in front of Captain Marvel, too, Fury’s favorite Avenger, who had looked very disappointed in him. Apparently Danvers had her own history as a superpowered amnesiac brainwashed into working for the bad guys? Bucky’s unclear on the details, but when Danvers’s mouth tightened and her head shook in dismay, Nick Fury’s shoulders had slumped like a chastened schoolboy.

God, Steve is such a dick sometimes. Bucky loves him so much.

Dr. Carson’s high heels make clipped little clicking noises that speak volumes about her frustration with them as she strides purposefully out of the room. As soon as she closes the door, so firmly that Bucky can just tell that she had to have put conscious, controlled effort into not slamming it behind her, Bucky turns to Sam with a satisfied grin.

“Well, I think we’re doing great,” Bucky says. “SHIELD’s going to have to work a lot harder to get any real intel out of us, and I was definitely promised that they wouldn’t be using any drugs or brainwashing techniques this time so I think we’re going to nail this whole interrogation.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “This is therapy, man, not an interrogation. We’re supposed to be, like, opening up and becoming a better team.”

“Yeah, well, if this is real therapy then where are the goats?” Bucky says, raising an eyebrow toward the most likely location of the nearest camera as if to say gotcha, Fury, your goatless fake therapy interrogation tactic isn’t fooling me.

“I’m sorry, goats? Why would there be goats?”

Bucky leans back in his chair and folds his hands behind his head. “I’m just saying, in Wakanda I always got to hang out with animals when I did therapy. And look how great that turned out! I hardly ever kill anyone anymore, and when I do it’s on purpose because I decided to. Anyway, I really feel like this is all just a plot by SHIELD to find out why we—”

Bucky and Sam bicker for a while about whether or not this is real therapy until they’re interrupted by Dr. Carson’s return, her face looking a little damp now, like maybe she spent her time away from them splashing water on it and doing some deep breathing exercises in the bathroom.

“OK,” says Dr. Carson, visibly relaxing her spine. “We’re going to take a new approach. Have you heard of the five love languages?”

Sam’s eyes widen in horror. “No, we are not doing the five love languages.”

Bucky hasn’t heard of the five love languages, but he can tell from the look on Sam’s face that they definitely don’t want to do this, and Bucky’s pretty good at improvising when he needs to. “Oh, you know, I think HYDRA already implanted the five love languages in my brain when they were doing the rest of the Romance languages. So we can just skip those, I already know them.”

Bucky offers Dr. Carson his blandest and most innocent smile, the same one that sometimes worked on Sister Mary Angela back at old St. Charles Borromeo, but Dr. Carson’s face remains as stony and unmoved as the church itself, still standing in Brooklyn Heights in the year of our Lord 2023. Instead she says, “I think we need to take a couples therapy approach.”

“Couples therapy,” Sam repeats, sinking lower in his chair. Bucky winces as Sam’s knee starts to crush his balls.

“According to this file,” Dr. Carson says, opening it up to read aloud, “the two of you are here because your colleagues have complained about your, quote, romantically-charged bickering, your constant flirting, and your unnecessarily sexual sparring.”

Dr. Carson punctuates these damning statements with some truly savage air quotes.

“Listen, when I slap Sam’s bare ass in the locker room after a good sparring session it’s with purely collegial respect for a worthy opponent,” Bucky says, folding his arms across his chest. “I only ever treat Sam with the same level of professional respect I give Steve and Natasha.”

Sam nods in support. “Steve and Natasha never have a problem getting sweaty and physical with us, and I’ve personally witnessed Steve and Natasha slap Bucky’s ass dozens of times.”

Dr. Carson raises a single judgmental eyebrow. “Don’t you think there might be a reason why Fury’s banned the four of you from using the gym at the same time?”

“Uh, yeah,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes. “The other SHIELD agents get intimidated by Sam’s shredded abs and Steve’s and my super strength. Plus everyone’s scared of Natasha.”

Dr. Carson closes her eyes and visibly counts to ten. Bucky can see her mouth forming the words.

“All right, we’re just going to move on here, because I’m really only able to deal with just the one dysfunctional relationship at a time.” Dr. Carson passes them some worksheets and pencils. “I want you to fill these out, honestly, and then hand them back to me when you’re done.”

Bucky reads over the worksheets, which are filled with questions like, “Do you like it more when your partner reacts positively to something you’ve accomplished or when they do something for you that you know they don’t particularly enjoy?” There are a lot of questions about hugging, and holding hands, and Bucky gets distracted trying to picture holding hands with Sam, who has big hands, strong and capable and—

“Stop trying to copy my answers,” Sam says, when he notices Bucky glancing over at the way Sam grips his pen as he fills out his worksheet. Sam shoves his knee harder into Bucky’s crotch and Bucky stifles a gasp.

“I’m not!”

“Bucky, stop cheating.” Dr. Carson presses her lips together in a severe frown.

Bucky scowls and scooches his chair back several inches. It makes a loud scraping sound as it drags against the cement floor. But before going back to filling out his form, Bucky gives Sam’s ankle a sharp kick for getting him in trouble with Dr. Carson, and the two of them engage in a brief but brutal silent kicking war below the front of the desk where Dr. Carson can’t see.

When Bucky and Sam finish their kicking war and their quizzes, they hand their worksheets back to Dr. Carson for grading and rub their shins as they wait.

“Bucky, your primary love language is words of affirmation, and your secondary love language is physical touch,” Dr. Carson announces. “And Sam, your primary love language is acts of service, while your secondary love language is quality time.”

Bucky frowns. On the one hand, he feels like he’s received some pretty valuable intel about Sam that he could use to his benefit. But on the other hand, he’s probably given up some valuable intel of his own. He wishes there hadn’t been so many questions that made him think about hugging and touching Sam—somehow those made him so distracted that he forgot to respond with lies.

Bucky’s stomach knots up a bit at the thought of Sam learning his potential weaknesses, but really, how much of a psyop could Sam possibly launch with the results from a couples counseling questionnaire? (Natasha could probably execute a successful psyop based on the information from a Buzzfeed quiz meant to reveal your “celebrity mom,” so Bucky really hopes Sam doesn’t talk to Natasha about this.)

“Your homework is to try to learn to speak each other’s language.” Dr. Carson stands up and walks around the desk to touch Bucky’s shoulder. “Good job today, Bucky.”

Bucky smiles, and the knot in his stomach releases a bit. He is so nailing this therapy thing, he knew he’d be better at it than Sam.

Dr. Carson helps Sam back into his coat as she ushers them toward the door, and Bucky’s pretty sure she’s meant to be modeling an act of service except that mostly it seems like she’s just trying to rush them out of the office.

“See you next week.” Dr. Carson smiles stiffly, like she is not at all looking forward to seeing them next week. Her expression is full of determined professionalism right up until the click of the door latch, and then Bucky hears a dull thudding noise that is pretty unmistakably the sound of Dr. Carson hitting her head against the doorframe.

“There’s no way you’re going to win this,” Bucky tells Sam. “I am going to love language the shit out of you.”

Sam gives him a considering look. “You do seem like you’d be really good at that.”

Bucky’s cheeks flush with heat. “Thanks, pal, I—”

Sam smirks, and Bucky’s eyes narrow. He shoves his elbow into Sam’s side and stalks off, leaving Sam cackling behind him.

“Your ass looks great today!” Sam yells.

Bucky reaches up to flip Sam the bird, and he definitely does not feel grateful that he wore his good jeans today. Bucky’s ass looks great every day.

***

They’re on a mission together the next day, battling some Doombots in New Jersey, and wow is Sam committed to this whole words of affirmation thing.

When Bucky deflects a punch aimed straight for Sam’s head with his vibranium arm, Sam whistles and says, “Nice save, man, you’re killing it today.” Warmth rises up in Bucky’s chest at Sam’s praise, and Bucky is filled with panic and dismay when he realizes that the fight to squash it back down is honestly more taxing than their battle against Doombots. There’s absolutely no reason Bucky should be having such a physical reaction to basic battle camaraderie.

When Bucky stretches his leg up above his head to nail one of the bots with a vicious kick, Sam smirks and gives him a distinct how-you-doing sort of nod. “That was—seriously hot, man. Have you been doing yoga or something?”

So apparently Sam is choosing to interpret words of affirmation as “wild flirtation,” and Bucky’s cheeks are choosing to betray him by radiating at Sam’s attention. Bucky knows there’s a flush spreading down his neck, and he’s hoping Sam will attribute it to exertion from the fight, because there’s no way Bucky can let Sam know that Sam’s sort of winning at their therapy homework—not when Bucky’s entire mental health journey and, like, the honor of the Wakandan animal-assisted therapy program is at stake.

But after they board the Quinjet and set the autopilot on a course back to New York, Sam gives Bucky a slow up-and-down perusal with his eyes, and Bucky feels Sam’s gaze like a physical touch. “You look really good after a fight, Buck. That messed up hair and pretty pink blush are giving me all kinds of ideas.”

Bucky’s cock twitches at that, and huh. Bucky blinks and looks down at his crotch.

So that’s working again.

A dirty smirk spreads across Sam’s face, like maybe Sam knows exactly what just happened inside Bucky’s pants, and fuck, this whole situation is spiraling rapidly out of Bucky’s control. Like, yeah, Bucky kept Sam from getting a pretty gnarly concussion, and that was probably an act of service, right? But it’s pretty clear, to both of them, that Sam is winning this competition, and Bucky is not about to go down without a fight.

Which is—an idea.

Bucky drops to his knees in front of Sam and bites his lip in a way that he knows, instinctively, will make him look hot. Sam inhales sharply in response, and Bucky reaches up to grasp Sam by the hips before he can take a step backwards. The material of Sam’s uniform bunches up and shifts under Bucky’s hands, and fuck, Bucky’s cock is aching now, throbbing and filling up in his tight uniform pants. Bucky forgot he could feel so good.

“What are you doing,” Sam protests in a half-assed sort of way.

“Servicing you,” Bucky replies with a wicked grin, sliding Sam’s zipper down slowly over his thickening cock. Bucky can’t remember if he’s done this before, but the way his mouth waters and his throat aches in anticipation makes him feel pretty fucking confident about how this is going to go down.

But before Bucky can pull Sam’s cock out of his briefs, Sam slides his fingers into Bucky’s hair and tips his head gently backward, using his other hand to tilt Bucky’s chin up to look into Sam’s face. Sam’s pretty brown eyes are already darkening with arousal, but his expression is serious.

“You don’t have to suck my dick for therapy, man.”

Bucky huffs. “Sam, this is the first time my dick’s been hard since 1945. Do you know how many times Steve’s let me watch him jerk off trying to heIp me get hard again? I am definitely not doing this only to win at therapy, pal.”

Sam’s hands freeze in Bucky’s hair and his cock swells visibly in his briefs. “I’m sorry, Steve let you do what now? Dude, I thought Steve was straight.”

“Oh, he’s definitely, like, straight-ish,” Bucky assures Sam, with a little so-so wave of his hand that hopefully conveys the correct amount of ambiguity there. “He’s mostly just a really great friend.”

Sam’s eyes close for a long moment, and then Bucky’s scalp stings when Sam clenches his fist in Bucky’s hair and pulls. “Jesus,” mutters Sam, his voice gruff and husky. “Yeah, OK, baby. Go ahead and suck my dick.”

Bucky’s heart pounds as he pulls Sam’s cock out of his briefs and licks a wet stripe up the length of it, groaning at the feel of Sam’s skin under his tongue. Sam tastes salty with sweat, and his scent is musky and thick after their fight with the Doombots. Bucky teases him for a while, the way he’s seen people do in porn, trailing wet kisses along the shaft and mouthing at the head, and Sam lets out a ragged moan when Bucky’s mouth finally engulfs him. Bucky’s feeling pretty cocky about this, loves the rush of power he feels as Sam’s hips twitch and jerk to keep from thrusting into Bucky’s mouth—but then Sam fucking escalates shit, because Sam is an asshole.

“Christ, you feel good,” Sam murmurs, reaching down to rub his thumb against Bucky’s mouth, stretched wide around Sam’s cock. “You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth.”

And then Bucky’s the one moaning, eyelids fluttering shut and heat coursing down his spine at the sound of Sam’s husky voice. Bucky should have expected Sam to counter his act of service with more words of affirmation, but somehow he wasn’t prepared for the unbearable ache he’d feel at Sam’s dirty talk. Bucky feels inexperienced, outclassed at this sort of sexual warfare, and the only way he can retaliate is by sinking as far down on Sam’s cock as his throat will allow him. He reaches up to grab Sam’s hips, urging him to fuck his mouth, and then he hums a little inside his head to try to tune out the sound of Sam’s praise.

“Fuck,” says Sam. “God, that’s it, baby. You take it so well, Buck. So fucking good for me.”

Bucky whines, his jaw aching, eyes filling with tears as Sam’s cock stretches his mouth open. Sam keeps offering him filthy praise as he slides his mouth up and down Sam’s thick cock, and Bucky doesn’t know why this is doing it for him when all of Steve’s pale skin and strong thighs and big dick couldn’t, but maybe seventy years of torture and captivity have left Bucky with a few new kinks. Or maybe Bucky’s just healing or whatever. Bucky honestly doesn’t care, as long as Sam keeps letting him fill his throat with Sam’s dick.

Sam’s voice is rough when he says, “God, you fucking love it, don’t you,” and Bucky pulls off Sam’s cock just long enough to nod eagerly and gasp for air before diving back in. “Take your dick out, baby. I want you to come sucking my cock.”

Bucky’s rhythm stutters at that, his hand reaching down to pull his cock out of his uniform pants. He wants to be so fucking good for Sam, wants to come just how Sam says, wants Sam to keep telling him how good he looks, how much he loves fucking Bucky’s mouth, how much he likes giving it to him.

Sam’s praise grows hotter and filthier as he gets closer, and Bucky whimpers as he feels his own orgasm approaching. God, he hasn’t come in so long, hasn’t felt that hot rush and that familiar ache in his balls in forever and he wants it, wants to come, he just needs—

“Come on, baby, come for me, I know you can do it, just keep sucking my cock, God, you look so good, baby, don’t stop, don’t stop—”

And Bucky spirals over the edge, cock pulsing and spilling over his fist. He lets out a choked moan around Sam’s dick before his mouth is flooded with bitter, salty fluid. And then Bucky feels so fucking full, like he could drown happily in Sam’s smell and his taste and his fucking words of affirmation.

Fuck.

Bucky definitely did not win that round.

***

The whole blow job thing was an outstanding idea, really, one of Bucky’s best. But fuck, he did not anticipate Sam using that as an opportunity to completely turn the tables and affirm the shit out of him. Bucky can’t help but privately acknowledge to himself that Sam is completely winning at love languages so far.

They’re in counseling the next week, still in Dr. Carson’s depressing therapy bunker, and honestly, Bucky can’t imagine that this setting is good for, like, anybody’s mental health. His therapy in Wakanda always took place outdoors, under the warm African sun, surrounded by the wild, earthy smells of mud and animals and Lake Turkana. It made him feel open and free and connected to nature or whatever. It was peaceful.

Therapy at SHIELD is not very peaceful, especially because Dr. Carson clearly hates them, and she isn’t at all impressed by what Bucky considers some very impressive progress by them. Bucky and Sam are getting along.

“So,” Dr. Carson begins, apparently deciding to just start right off with more hurtful accusations from their colleagues, “according to Carl from the gun range, the two of you have been subjecting your coworkers to your, quote, uncomfortable bickering-slash-foreplay, and Maria Hill reports that you’re still, quote, cluttering up comms during missions with the most embarrassing flirting I have ever heard, I hate it so much.”

Dr. Carson’s air quotes are fucking vicious.

Despite the fact that they’ve only just started their session, Dr. Carson looks tense and aggravated already. She’s wearing another pretty silk blouse today, but her earrings don’t seem to match and it looks like she didn’t bother to curl her hair today. Maybe she just realized that Bucky wasn’t fooled by those forties waves?

Also, even though it’s Friday, Dr. Carson’s giving off a very Monday sort of vibe.

“Sam and I are working on it, OK?” Bucky says, with a mulish set to his jaw. “Obviously I’m doing my best here, but it’s hard to do therapy in a cement basement that gives me flashbacks to 1970s HYDRA facilities where I was tortured. And there aren’t even any pets at all to comfort me. Didn’t you receive the note from my Wakandan therapist stating that I require animals during therapy?”

A blood vessel in Dr. Carson’s forehead throbs, and she raises her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I’ll see if I can get us a room upstairs for our next session, but I’m telling you for the last time that we don’t have any therapy goats.”

“Well, I don’t have any issues doing therapy without goats,” Sam says, like the worst sort of teacher’s pet. God, Sam’s teachers probably loved his charming smile and his quick wit and his stupid handsome face. “Maybe Bucky is using the goats as an emotional crutch.”

“Listen, goat therapy works, OK?” Bucky counts out on his fingers as he lists the many examples of real progress he’s made since his time as a goat farmer in Wakanda. “I started off as an amnesiac brainwashed assassin, and now I have a steady job, a haircut, an apartment leased under my own shell companies, and I only kill people when I want to kill people now. And I wash my hair regularly. And if I don’t wash my hair, I use dry shampoo. And I don’t turn into a mindless killing machine when people speak Russian at me.”

“Dude,” Sam says.

“Anyway, it’s fine if you’re not as good at therapy as me.”

“Not as—not as good at therapy as you? Man, I am a certified peer specialist. I was so good at my own therapy that they let me give other people therapy,” Sam says, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Yeah, in America, where they’re not even familiar with things like advanced goat therapy.” Bucky clucks his tongue and shakes his head. “Did you even keep up with your continuing education requirements while you were fugitives with Steve?”

Sam sinks lower in his seat and frowns. “No. But speaking of Steve,” Sam says, perking up a bit as he follows a new thread of argument. “Whose PTSD recovery was so complete and inspirational that Steve Rogers trusted them with the responsibility of carrying the Captain America shield, hm?”

“Listen, Steve is reckless as shit and he’s so irresponsible with that shield that he’s constantly losing it in rivers and getting it broken by alien supervillains,” Bucky points out. “I’m so recovered that the king of an entire country, a man so responsible that they put him in charge of running literally everything in the most advanced nation on the planet, trusted me with a prosthetic arm powerful enough to crush the skull of an ordinary man with a single blow. Probably even his skull, and he’s been enhanced by some weird plant that makes him even stronger than Steve.”

“Yeah, well, I’m so recovered that—”

Dr. Carson interrupts them here, pinching the bridge of her nose. “OK, listen, I think there’s actually something pretty interesting here in how you each relate your recovery to your ability to wield weapons. Why don’t we stop bickering and discuss that a little further?”

“Yeah, OK,” Bucky mumbles.

Sam sighs heavily. “Fine.”

***

So the blow job thing is working perfectly—like, so perfectly, God, Sam’s dick is amazing—except for the fact that Sam is able to talk the entire time. Words of affirmation spill from Sam’s pretty lips every time Bucky swallows his cock, and Bucky is still fucking losing the love languages competition.

It’s time to create a Pinterest strategy board to figure this thing out.

Bucky is a visual planner, and he believes in tactical flexibility. He might not remember a lot about sex, but there’s tons of porn on the Internet. He just needs to find a couple of ways to service Sam while Sam’s mouth is otherwise occupied. How hard could that be?

After a lot of research and the creation of several Pinterest mood boards, Bucky calls Steve down the hall to his apartment to help him out. They all live in the same building since it has the best security in the city—and Bucky and Natasha are very particular about security—and it makes sense for the four of them to basically live together when they already spend all their time together. When Steve arrives, they head right to Bucky’s bedroom, get undressed, and survey the porn board on Bucky’s laptop.

“OK, so what about sixty-nine,” Steve suggests. “Let’s try that.”

They get themselves into position, mouths hovering over each other’s flaccid dicks like totally normal best friends.

“See, I feel like this works, but is it really servicing Sam if he’s, like, servicing me at the same time?” Bucky flops over onto his back in frustration and worries at his lower lip with his teeth.

Steve nods and tilts his head in thought. “Yeah, I see what you mean. Depending on the grading rubric, the two acts might cancel each other out. How about rimming?”

“I feel like rimming is a great idea, and I definitely want to do that, but how do I shut him up while I do it?”

Steve frowns. “Can you reach up and cover his mouth with your hand? Hold on, let me bend over and we’ll see.” Steve gets on his hands and knees, tilting his ass up for Bucky to simulate a rim job.

“You know, your ass really is kind of amazing.” Bucky takes a moment to admire the jewel of Howard Stark’s empire. “I mean, it was cute as hell when you were little too, but Scott Lang definitely wasn’t wrong in that podcast episode about which superhero has America’s ass. Don’t tell Sam I said that, by the way.”

“Thanks, pal,” Steve says, flashing Bucky a quick grin. “Your ass is great too, Sam’s a lucky guy. Now bend over and pretend to rim me.”

Bucky leans down and uses his hand to cover Steve’s exposed hole, then presses his mouth against the back of his hand to simulate a rim job. He reaches forward with his other arm to see if he can put his vibranium hand over Steve’s mouth. He could—maybe? If he releases the catch on his shoulder?

“I don’t think this is going to work,” Bucky says with a frown. “Here, maybe try getting on your back and holding onto your legs?”

“Like this?” Steve asks, shifting gamely into position. Bucky folds him over and pretends to rim him while covering Steve’s mouth, which—works, actually. And this is probably the most erotic scene Bucky’s ever been a part of—Steve really does look incredible like this—so it’s kind of a shame that it does absolutely nothing whatsoever for Bucky’s dick.

Except then Bucky pictures Sam in Steve’s position, bent over and whining under Bucky’s vibranium hand, and Bucky’s cock gives a little twitch. Fuck.

Bucky sighs and releases Steve with a short nod. “Not bad, pal. I think this one’s gonna work. Let’s write it down.”

They test out a few more positions, taking careful notes on the comfort and degree of mouth coverage of each one. Bucky finds a few more pictures to add to his Pinterest board, and they sort through every image and assign them to the correct position number. Then Bucky and Steve print off their pictures and tape them to Bucky’s wall for inspiration, mapping out a sequence of actions that will lead to orgasms for both Sam and Bucky with a minimum amount of talking on Sam’s part.

Which is a shame, really. Sam’s dirty talk really does it for Bucky.

Still nude, Bucky and Steve stand in front of the vision board and assess the plan.

“I think position two is really going to work,” Steve says, stroking his chin, and Bucky’s brain flashes back to an image of Steve in pretty much this exact pose, assessing a map of HYDRA facilities in Western Europe with no less gravity and passion. God, Steve Rogers is a great fucking friend. “And if you really want to service the guy, I mean, you’ve already got him all loose and open. You might as well give him your dick too, right?”

Bucky nods in agreement. “Yeah, I mean, as long as I keep kissing him, he won’t be able to affirm me too much. I think this really is the winning scenario.”

“Great teamwork, pal,” Steve says, slapping Bucky’s bare ass. “This was fun! Just like the old days.”

Bucky smiles wistfully. “Yeah, there’s nothing like planning an op with The Man With the Plan. Hey, you want to grab dinner after this?”

“Nah,” Steve says, too-casually, angling his pelvis away from Bucky as he pulls his pants back on. “I think I’m gonna go see if Natasha’s busy.”

Bucky grins. “Give her my best.”

“Will do. Love you, pal,” Steve says, giving Bucky a quick kiss before he leaves.

Steve doesn’t bother putting a shirt on before he goes, and Bucky can hear him whistling cheerfully all the way down to Nat’s apartment.

***

Steve and Bucky’s plan was great, so naturally it goes to shit as soon as Sam gets involved.

Bucky’s sucking Sam’s dick, which OK, yeah, wasn’t technically in the plan, but God, Sam’s got such a great dick. How far behind can Bucky really fall in the standings from just one blow job?

“Your mouth feels so fucking good, baby,” Sam says, sliding his long fingers through Bucky’s hair—which Bucky washed before he came over, because he is killing it as a recovered assassin and also because this afternoon Sam grabbed his hips and leaned in, breath hot against Bucky’s ear, and murmured how much he wants to smell Bucky’s shampoo on his pillows tomorrow morning.

Which was both smooth as hell and very convincing. Bucky immediately bought like three more bottles of that shit and accepted Sam’s invitation over to his apartment that night.

So now they’re in Sam’s apartment, and Bucky’s sliding his mouth along Sam’s cock, and Sam’s telling him how much he loves the way Bucky sucks him, loves the way Bucky’s pretty face looks with Sam’s cock in his mouth, lips slick with spit and tears leaking out of his eyes. And then Sam says—

“Are you gonna let me fuck you tonight, baby? Gonna let me see how well you take it?”

And before Bucky knows it, he’s moaning around Sam’s cock and nodding his head, and Sam’s pulling a condom and lube out of the side drawer, and then Bucky’s face down on Sam’s bed, gasping and clenching around Sam’s long fingers.

When Sam finally turns him over and pushes inside him, Bucky feels his brain just—fully vacate his skull. Pleasure buzzes up and down Bucky’s spine like an electric current, and he’s only barely conscious of the wet-sounding gasp that comes out of his mouth when Sam finally slides all the way home.

Sam gives it to him slow and sweet, fucking into him at a dreamy, leisurely pace as Bucky grabs fistfuls of Sam’s sheets and scrabbles at any leverage he can get to try and push back against Sam’s cock. Bucky wants Sam to grab his hips and pound him hard, overwhelm him with stimulation and keep him from sinking under the gentle wave of that languid rhythm. It’s too intimate, too vulnerable, and Bucky’s chest is cracking wide open for Sam to look inside. He’s a little afraid of what Sam might see within him, but instead Sam’s expression is full of awe, his face open and tender as he runs a thumb over Bucky’s cheekbone.

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous, so fucking sweet for me.”

There’s a lot of eye contact after that, and romantic face touching, and Sam telling Bucky how much he loves the way he feels, loves the way he looks and smells and tastes. Warmth pools deep in Bucky’s gut, spreading through his veins like the burn of whiskey, until Bucky feels like he’s going to burst into flames around Sam’s cock. Instead he comes, long and hard and messy, all over his stomach.

Sam’s eyes are hot as he looks down at the sight of Bucky’s abs covered in pearly fluid, and then he slams his hips into Bucky three more times, hard, before groaning and collapsing on top of him.

Fuck, Bucky thinks.

He takes a few minutes to catch his breath, and then suppresses a half-hearted sigh when he realizes that he completely blew the plan. Like, yes, that was some fucking amazing sex, Sam gave him the dicking of a lifetime, but somehow Bucky ended up even further behind in the love language competition. How does Sam keep winning?

It’s too late now to offer another act of service. Even if Bucky could get it up again, Sam definitely couldn’t.

Shit.

But wait, what was Sam’s secondary love language? Quality time? Perfect.

Bucky rolls over to give Sam a few open-mouthed kisses on his shoulder. Sam is sweaty from exertion, and he tastes salty and amazing. God, Sam is the best.

“You mind if I stay the night, sweetheart?” Bucky murmurs.

Sam’s lips curve up in a soft and pleased smile. “Yeah, baby, I was hoping you would.”

“C’mere, you can be the little spoon,” Bucky says, reaching around Sam’s waist to reel him in, and Sam huffs out a surprised grunt and then a happy sigh when Bucky wraps his arms and leg around him.

They fall asleep within minutes, and it turns out Sam really was into the smell of Bucky on his pillows because they fuck again in the morning, and this time Bucky forgets to keep track of who’s winning at therapy homework.

***

They fuck constantly after that, which is amazing, but unfortunately Bucky is still staying in this game only by the skin of his teeth. Like, yes, Bucky is performing acts of service for Sam on the regular, but somehow Bucky finds his self-control dissolving like sugar melting into caramel when Sam spreads him out under his dirty mouth and his clever hands.

So now when Sam collapses on top of him at night, fucked out and shaking, Bucky nuzzles his face into the back of Sam’s neck and wraps his arm around him to pull him close. Bucky stays the night, every night, and at work he sticks to Sam more tightly than one of Steve Rogers’s t-shirts. But the more quality time Bucky offers Sam, the more acts of service Bucky ends up performing—which, sure, sounds like a plan that would put Bucky pretty solidly in the lead, except for how Bucky always ends up a sobbing, needy mess dripping onto Sam’s sheets while Sam smirks and tells him how good Bucky is for him.

They fight together even better now, in sync in a way that Bucky hasn’t felt since he worked with the Howling Commandos, and when they finish a skirmish they turn to each other, flushed and grinning, flying high on adrenaline and oxytocin and arousal. They kiss savagely, mouths wet and open, and they don’t care who hears them pant and groan over the comms.

“God, you were so fucking hot—”

“Sam, yes, god, please—”

Bucky and Sam have died and come back to life already this year and somehow they’re still bringing each other back to life. Bucky swaggers through SHIELD headquarters with champagne flowing through his veins, bright and bubbly, and Fury yells at them twice for passing dirty notes to each other during briefings. They’re obnoxious about it, obvious and messy and shameless, and Bucky’s pretty sure that Maria Hill is going to resign in protest if she has to work surveillance for even one more of their ops.

Somehow they’re generating even more complaints to HR than before.

***

Dr. Carson has finally managed to find them a room with a window for their counseling sessions. They’re on the fifth floor, and there’s not much of a view—just the brick wall of the building next to them—but sunlight streams in through the sheer curtains and highlights the cut ridges of Sam’s frankly incredible cheekbones. God, Sam’s so fucking handsome.

Bucky and Sam are grinning broadly, but Dr. Carson looks stressed out and irritated today, even though they just started the appointment. Her hair is stringy and a little greasy at the roots, and Bucky wonders if Dr. Carson knows about dry shampoo. He isn’t sure how to ask, or if it would be rude to offer her a few sprays from the travel bottle he keeps in one of the pockets of his tactical pants? She’s still wearing a nice silk blouse, but it looks like she’s buttoned it incorrectly, and the tail is hanging out of the top of her slacks.

Are those even slacks? They kind of look like yoga pants.

Privately, Bucky thinks that an outsider might be hard pressed to figure out which of them was supposed to be the mental patient here. Are Bucky and Sam actually driving this woman insane?

“So you’re sleeping together.” Dr. Carson’s tone is flat and dismayed. “You know this is against SHIELD employee regulations, don’t you?”

She taps her pen against their folders in agitation, and Bucky wonders if those folders are their actual permanent records. Does Bucky’s folder still have all of the notes from Sister Mary Angela about his “distracting” and “unnaturally close” relationship with Steve? God, Sister Mary Angela hated Steve.

Sam waves a careless hand and props his ankle up on his other knee. “We’re independent contractors, and Steve and Natasha made sure that our contracts didn’t include any kind of anti-fraternization policies. They were extremely thorough about it.”

Dr. Carson sighs heavily, and it looks like she’s doing literally everything in her power not to roll her eyes. Instead, she tips her head back and looks at the ceiling, probably hoping to roll her eyes where Bucky and Sam can’t see them. “Nevertheless, the two of you are still required to be discreet and professional when you’re at work. We’ve received complaints from several of your coworkers about your behavior in the last week. According to Carl, you’ve been bringing, quote, unwanted and uncomfortable sexual energy to the workplace.”

Bucky scoffs. He knows how to handle this sort of situation. “Listen, I didn’t lose my life fighting Nazis so that a little homoerotic banter and ass grabbing would get me in trouble at work. And anyway, this is how Captain America and I behaved at work back when we were fighting fascism and defending the free world—in the 1940s, even!—so I can’t imagine that somehow you’re just not allowed to give each other friendly hand jobs in closets in 2023. If anything, I should be able to give Sam a friendly hand job outside of a closet. Those are exactly the kinds of freedoms I fought and died for.”

Sam nods in support and says, “That’s a great point, Buck,” and Bucky feels warmth curling in his belly before he realizes, fuck, Sam’s doing it again, and right in front of Dr. Carson too. Jesus, Sam is so good at therapy. “And it sounds like Carl might be just a tad bit homophobic. Maybe we should be complaining to HR about him. You know, I didn’t serve during the long years of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell just to hear—”

“Carl is happily married to his male partner of thirty-seven years,” Dr. Carson states, clenching her jaw. Bucky has literally fought people to the death who look less bothered by his general existence. “Also, you didn’t actually die fighting Nazis, Agent Barnes.”

“It was a metaphorical death,” Bucky defends, because this is important to him. “The old Bucky Barnes died in that ravine. We went over it all in my therapy in Wakanda, the most scientifically advanced country in the world. What even are your credentials and where are your goats?”

“I have a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from Harvard and doctorates in clinical psychology and neuroscience from Oxford. I was a Rhodes scholar, I’ve received a MacArthur Fellowship for my work in PTSD and polytrauma in returning veterans, and I literally wrote the textbook for most Introduction to Psychology courses.”

Bucky waves his dismissive hand at this. “Yeah, well, Sam did eighty hours of coursework and an eighty hour practicum to become a certified peer counselor. Plus he has experiential knowledge, which is more important than book learning. Also, Sam isn’t HYDRA. Are you HYDRA?”

The wood in Dr. Carson’s pencil cracks a bit under her hand. “I’m not HYDRA.”

“But, like, would Nick Fury know if you were HYDRA?” Bucky presses.

“That’s an excellent point, baby, you’re killing it in therapy today.” Sam pats Bucky on the thigh and then leaves his hand there, bare inches away from Bucky’s cock, and Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to keep from moving his hips or making any noises. “Nick Fury would definitely not know if Dr. Carson were HYDRA, his Nazi-finding track record is, like, dismal at best. I vote that we suspend therapy until there’s been an independent investigation into whether or not Dr. Carson is HYDRA.”

“You can’t suspend therapy,” Dr. Carson says, her expression pinched. “These counseling sessions are mandatory.”

“Look, we’ll keep doing the love languages thing as a show of good faith, and once the investigation’s concluded we’ll come back so you can decide which one of us is winning at therapy,” Bucky says. “In the meantime just, like, prepare to have all of your secrets uncovered and all of your loved ones and ex-boyfriends questioned extensively about your most private and intimate memories.”

Dr. Carson covers her face with her hands. Is she trying to muffle a scream?

“For the last time, no one wins at therapy,” she grits out.

“I mean, I think I’m pretty obviously winning,” Sam says. Bucky tips his head in reluctant agreement. “Anyway, we’ll talk to Natasha and Steve about the HYDRA thing since they actually know how to find Nazis. If Steve and Nat clear you, then Bucky and I will agree to let you judge which one of us is winning the love languages competition. In the meantime, it would be nice if you could get some therapy pets for Bucky. He likes animals. Goats might be a bit unreasonable for downtown D.C., but I’m sure you could rustle up some cats or something, right?”

Bucky hums. “I like dogs better.’

“All right, cool. Dr. C, get us some dogs.” Sam raps two knuckles against the desk. “Bucky and I are going to go to the gym to work out a bit. Bucky’s shoulders are looking really good lately.”

“Sam!” Bucky hisses, squirming a bit in his seat. “Not in front of Dr. Carson!”

“Sorry, baby,” Sam says, holding out a hand to pull Bucky up out of his chair. “See you next week, Dr. C!”

***

It hasn’t exactly escaped Bucky’s notice that Natasha has been avoiding him ever since Bucky and Sam started their love languages competition, so when Bucky sees Steve walking alone down the hallway toward his office, he reaches out from the broom closet where he’s hiding and yanks Steve inside.

“Is Natasha helping Sam win the love languages competition?” Bucky hisses.

There’s no real reason that they need to have this conversation in a broom closet instead of Steve’s office, but Bucky’s feeling nostalgic today, and Steve doesn’t seem at all bothered to suddenly find himself in a broom closet with Bucky.

“I mean, probably?” Steve says with a shrug. “It seems only fair, since I’m helping you. Also her dirty talk has really leveled up lately, and that’s probably not a coincidence. Why, what’s Sam doing?”

“He’s, like, constantly flirting with me. And the touching! God, Steve, I’m horny all the time now. And you wouldn’t believe the things he says to me in bed! Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on all the sex routines you and I’ve choreographed when Sam’s telling me how pretty I look with his cock in my mouth?”

“Natasha is definitely helping him then—she says that to me all the time when she’s using her strap on,” Steve says, chewing his lip thoughtfully. “Are you sure you can’t keep it together enough to service him without getting distracted by his words of affirmation?”

“Yes,” Bucky says, his cheeks growing hot. “You have no idea, Steve, like Sam just gets so filthy. I know my brain’s been fried like an egg and I don’t actually remember a lot about sex, but I don’t think people talked like this in the ‘40s, right?”

“I mean, you and I shared a bedroom in an apartment with paper thin walls and then spent a few years in a warzone. There’s not much opportunity for dirty talk when you’re just doing your best to get off without waking anybody up,” Steve says. “But that does give me an idea. Sam’s secondary love language is quality time, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“So date him! You may not have the sexual repertoire of someone who’s watched hundreds of hours of modern porn or even someone who remembers much about having sex before like three weeks ago, but you do know how to pull off a good old-fashioned wooing.”

Bucky’s forehead wrinkles. “Do I, though? Do I still know how to pull off a good old-fashioned wooing?”

“I believe in you, pal.” Steve claps him on the shoulder and then looks around the broom closet thoughtfully, taking in the dirty mop and the shelves of cleaning supplies and filthy rags. “You’re honestly not even doing a bad job of wooing me right now. Want to trade hand jobs for old time’s sake?”

Bucky shoots Steve a withering look. “I’m not wooing you right now, Steve, you’re just easy. Go find Natasha if you’re horny.”

Steve shrugs. “Eh, it was worth a shot.”

***

Two months later, once Steve and Natasha have completed Dr. Carson’s background check and confirmed that she isn’t HYDRA, Sam and Bucky return to therapy. Even though Dr. Carson hasn’t seen them in months, she looks pinched and irritated, and the deep wrinkles in her forehead and the sudden explosion of gray in her hair make her look as though she’s aged five years since she started giving them therapy.

Bucky frowns and squints in suspicion. “We haven’t gotten Blipped again, have we?”

“What?”

“You just look—” Bucky gestures toward her hair and the bags under her eyes.

Dr. Carson’s expression shifts from exhausted indifference to polite fury, and Bucky’s just about to apologize when Sam gestures toward the floor under the window and says, “Hey, look at that! It’s about time you got Bucky a therapy puppy, you know that his doctors in Wakanda strongly encouraged it.”

When Bucky follows the line of Sam’s arm, he sees the cutest puppy in the world sitting in a fuzzy little dog bed with pictures of bones on it. Bucky gasps in delight. “He’s so cute, Sam, look at his little face!”

The puppy’s face is perfect, with big brown eyes and a short little snout with a tiny black nose. When he wags his tail, his little butt wiggles and Bucky wants to die about it. He loves this puppy so much.

“I’m naming him Paddington after my favorite movie,” Bucky declares.

“I love it,” Sam says immediately, pulling out his phone. “Put him in your lap so I can get some pictures for Steve and Natasha. They’re going to be so jealous when they find out that we got to have a dog in our therapy.”

Sam and Bucky spend the next ten minutes playing with Paddington and taking photos of the two of them with their adorable new therapy dog while Dr. Carson rubs her forehead like she just fucking knew this puppy would be a distraction.

“I think we should get started,” Dr. Carson interrupts, glancing pointedly at her watch.

“Yes, perfect!” Bucky pulls a small notebook out of his back pocket. “OK, so let me catch you up on everything we’ve done to each other since our last meeting, and I especially want your input on the scoring system that Sam and I have developed—”

Bucky and Sam spend the next half hour recounting their every interaction over the past couple of months in explicit, pornographic detail while Dr. Carson repeatedly clenches and unclenches her fists. When they spend ten full minutes alone on the rim job Bucky gave Sam last Saturday, Dr. Carson’s eyes go distant and glassy like a shell shocked veteran of the Great War or something. Bucky has literally seen torture victims make less of an effort to dissociate from their surroundings than Dr. Carson right now.

Honestly, who would have expected a therapist with thirty years’ experience to be so faint of heart? It’s absolutely critical to Bucky and Sam’s scoring system to determine whether Sam let out a “choked moan” or a “strangled gasp” while Bucky ate him out, and Bucky doesn’t appreciate Dr. Carson’s frankly lackluster participation when they stage a reenactment of events to try and settle the matter. She doesn’t even seem very decisive when she finally renders her judgment, like maybe she just doesn’t care what kind of sound Sam made, even though it was the most erotic noise Bucky’s ever heard in a hundred years.

When Sam concludes his argument for why words of affirmation during sex should count for more points than praise at work, Dr. Carson sighs heavily, looks off into the distance for exactly ten seconds, and then states, “I think we should discuss how you two can erect boundaries between your work relationship and your sexual relationship.”

Sam raises a skeptical eyebrow at Dr. Carson’s audacity. “Do you really feel like you’re qualified to counsel us on that particular issue?”

Dr. Carson’s jaw clenches. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, after everything that went down between you and Dr. Fitzgerald back in Philadelphia, I hardly think—”

Dr. Carson’s face whitens like curdled milk. “How did you find out about that?”

“Remember Natasha’s background check? Anyway, I’m just saying that it’s a tad bit hypocritical of you to suggest that Bucky and I shouldn’t be fucking during work hours, I mean, Bucky isn’t even married—”

Dr. Carson bites her lip so ferociously that she draws blood. “Bucky may not be married, but he is technically your subordinate, and that means there’s an uneven power dynamic to consider here—”

Sam smirks like he’s fucking Benjamin Matlock and he knows he’s just one pointed question away from making the guilty party break down and confess right there on the witness stand. (Bucky makes a mental note to ask Sam later why he and Natasha always snicker when Bucky and Steve get together to play cribbage and watch Matlock on Sunday afternoons.) “You mean like the uneven power dynamic at play between you and that doctoral student whose dissertation committee you chaired at UPenn?”

Dr. Carson gasps, and her face turns as red and furious as Sister Mary Angela’s that time she caught Steve’s skinny arms nailing a copy of Martin Luther’s Ninety-five Theses to the heavy wooden door of St. Charles Borromeo.

Bucky’s mind wanders a bit at that memory. God, Steve Rogers really was such a bad influence—maybe Sister Mary Angela was right about their distracting and unnaturally close relationship. Because of course Bucky couldn’t leave that stubborn asshole to face Sister Mary Angela’s wrath alone, so Bucky had ended up confessing to abusing his powers as editor of the student newspaper to let Steve use the school’s small printing press. Bucky emerged from the experience with an ass that burned for a week and a few uncomfortable new kinks.

Now, Bucky looks speculatively over at Sam’s strong hands and shifts in his chair.

“I just remembered, Sam and I have something really important to do,” Bucky announces. “So we’ll see you next week, right? OK, cool. C’mon, Paddington!”

Bucky grabs Paddington’s cute little dog bed and Paddington hops down from Sam’s lap to follow them out of the office, his tail wagging happily as he trots along beside them. God, Paddington is so fucking cute, Bucky cannot believe what a great dog he is.

Dr. Carson calls out after them through gritted teeth. “You’re not supposed to take the therapy dog with you!”

“Sorry, what?” Sam shouts back, cupping his hand around his ear. “I can’t hear you!”

“Bucky, I know you have super hearing!”.

“Sorry, I’m a hundred and six years old and I left my ear trumpet at home!” Bucky raises his hands in an exaggerated shrug to convey the hopelessness of trying to communicate at this great distance of about forty feet.

“God, I need a fucking vacation forever,” Dr. Carson mutters.

***

Later, after Bucky and Sam collapse against Sam’s sheets in sweaty exhaustion, Bucky mentally tallies their points and comes to the frustrating conclusion that Sam is still absolutely wiping the floor with him in this love languages competition. God, how is Sam so good at everything? He’s so fucking handsome and charming and athletic and just, like, absolute dynamite in the sack—

God, no wonder Bucky’s losing. There’s no way he can win this competition with his dick alone. Time to channel Tommy Dorsey and play it from the heart.

“Hey, Sam,” Bucky murmurs, leaning up to nuzzle his nose against Sam’s jaw. “Let me cook you dinner tonight, doll. Wanna treat you right.”

“‘M not your doll,” Sam grumbles. “But yeah, OK.”

Bucky kisses Sam’s shoulder and plots.

Three hours later, Bucky and Steve survey Bucky’s dining room with the smug satisfaction of Scarlett O’Hara stealing her sister’s fiancé to get her greedy hands on his general store and sawmill.

“I think we nailed it, pal,” Steve boasts. “This looks just like your date night mood board.”

“I mean, I feel like half the credit should go to Pinterest user donkeydick2004—who would’ve guessed that he’d have such a sensitive soul.”

Bucky’s dining room table is covered with rose petals sprinkled over Bucky’s mother’s best lace tablecloth, liberated from the archives of the Smithsonian along with the rest of the contents of Steve and Bucky’s old Brooklyn Heights apartment. Two lit candles rise proudly from the gleaming silver of Sarah Rogers’s candleholders—the only wedding gift she’d managed to save from the pawnbroker during those lean years of Steve’s childhood—and the Victrola crackles with the smooth tenor of Enrico Caruso singing an aria so romantic it once brought a tear to the clear, flinty eye of Bucky’s father. Bucky’s grateful now that the Barneses were a Victor Talking Machine Company family—those Edison wax cylinders decayed faster than American democracy after the invention of Facebook.

The first time Bucky saw the familiar red logo of that Caruso record again—faithful Nipper the dog, his head tipped toward the horn of a gramophone playing the sound of his dead master’s voice—Bucky drove straight out into the desert and screamed until he was hoarse.

And now tonight Bucky’s using that very record to romance the shit out of Sam Wilson, so Nick Fury and Dr. Carson can fuck off with their so-called “therapy” because Bucky Barnes is doing great.

Steve clears his throat and gives Bucky a meaningful look. “You know, if this is all just some competition between you and Sam, you didn’t have to drive out to Maryland to dig all of our most personal and intimate memories out of storage for this dinner.”

Flustered, Bucky replies, “You have no idea what a canny opponent Sam is! Every time that man talks, my heart flutters and my stomach’s all full of butterflies. Besides,” Bucky says, “my grandfather paid fifty extra dollars to get the Circassian walnut veneer put on that old Victrola—he would haunt me if I didn’t ever use it, Steve.”

“You know your Aunt Margaret spit on her own father’s grave when your grandfather left that Victrola to your dad instead of her?”

Bucky laughs. “Is that why they had that big falling out? I couldn’t remember.”

“Peggy said that your Aunt Margaret wrote Howard Stark a letter every month until the day she died demanding the return of that Victrola.”

“Well, I hope that greedy old hag is looking down at me right now,” Bucky says, shaking his head in disbelief. “She deserves to watch me seduce my gay lover with that Victrola, it serves her right. You know she called you a fairy once?”

Steve gestures toward the intimate tableau featuring all of Bucky’s most precious memories and dryly states, “Well, as long as you’re clear on spite as your motivation for all of this.”

Bucky bites his lip as a sudden fear strikes him. “Do you think Sam’s going to like the chicken? People still roast chicken, right? It’s not just, like, sushi and gluten free vegan desserts nowadays?”

Steve opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by a knock at the door. Paddington dives off the sofa like he’s responding to an Avengers Assemble alarm—which, oh my god, could Paddington wear a little outfit and come with the Avengers on ops? Bucky needs to look into this immediately—and dances around in elation when Bucky opens the door to reveal Sam, who is looking fine as hell in a lavender button-down and navy trousers.

And Bucky’s heart is—honestly not reacting much differently than Paddington right now.

“Aw, hi, baby!” Sam says, leaning down to pet Paddington and scratch him behind the ears. When Sam’s finished giving Paddington the attention he so richly deserves, Bucky’s pulled in for a long, heartbreakingly tender kiss that sends a shiver of want down the entire length of his spine. Sam and Steve exchange their own greetings while Bucky surreptitiously reaches up to rub at the goosebumps prickling at the sensitive skin at the back of his neck.

“Steve, you’re going to be OK watching Paddington tonight, right?” Bucky’s voice is threaded with the justifiable suspicion of someone who has known Steve Rogers for a lifetime.

Steve’s mouth drops open in offense. “Yes! Bucky, I know how to watch a dog.”

Bucky lifts Paddington’s tiny body and curls his arms protectively around him. “OK, well, Paddington is the most important thing in the world to me, and you are literally the least responsible person I know, so.”

“What? Bucky, I’m—that’s—I’m Captain America. I’m famously responsible.”

“Sam is Captain America, Steve. I feel like you’re not moving on. Also my brain might be a giant lump of small curd cottage cheese now, but I still remember that you’re a reckless idiot.”

Sam gives Steve a sharp look of his own and says, “Steve, Paddington is very important to Bucky’s therapy and also to our therapy as a couple—” Sam pauses, then adds, “of coworkers. So make sure you give him his favorite treats, but don’t give him too many treats, and make sure he doesn’t pull the squeaker out of his stuffed alligator—”

Bucky and Sam lead Steve to the door while Sam continues to debrief Steve on all of Paddington’s most important feelings and preferences. “You should really be writing all of this down, Steve,” Sam says with a frown.

Steve sighs. “I have an eidetic memory.”

“All right, well, if we pick him up in the morning and he has an upset tummy, I will literally kill you, and Sam—the trustworthy Captain America—will be my alibi,” Bucky says.

Sam nods in solemn agreement.

Bucky and Sam part from Paddington with identical expressions of worry as Steve walks him down the hall to his apartment.

As soon as Steve’s door closes, Bucky is all over Sam, pressing him against the wall and skimming his lips over the warm skin of Sam’s neck. God, Sam smells incredible, like tobacco and vanilla and oiled leather, and somehow the masculine scent of him travels down Bucky’s windpipe and directly to his cock.

“Hi,” Bucky breathes.

“Hey, baby,” Sam murmurs, tipping his head back to let Bucky’s lips trail along his throat to his jawline. Bucky’s just getting really into it, his hips pressing insistently against Sam’s, when the timer for the oven goes off.

Over dinner, Bucky and Sam talk and laugh about their coworkers as the candlelight does frankly amazing things for Sam’s bone structure. Bucky squirms in his chair and tries to will away the flush he can feel spreading up his neck when Sam compliments Bucky on the romantic lighting and the beautiful place settings. Fuck, he’s supposed to be giving Sam quality time here, and instead Sam’s using that quality time to offer Bucky more words of affirmation. Bucky’s not really ready to concede this battle just yet, but he’s definitely starting to craft a defeat narrative for himself about the lack of shame in being beaten by the best.

And Sam is definitely the best.

“That chicken was incredible.” Sam pats his stomach and groans in satisfaction. “You know that’s just how my mama always makes it?”

Bucky wonders if it would be weird to divulge that he actually broke into Sam’s mother’s house to sneak a look at her recipe cards. That’s normal intelligence gathering, right? Bucky made sure Sam’s mom was out of the house when he entered, and afterward he sent a team of security specialists to give her a better alarm system setup—”compliments of SHIELD, ma’am”—when he realized that her house was way too easy to break into. And Bucky’s dad always said to leave things better than you found them, so if anything Sam’s mom is probably safer now than she was before the world’s most legendary assassin crept into her house to rifle through her personal belongings.

He feels like Natasha would agree with him but he also feels like Natasha is probably just as batshit insane as Bucky and Steve are. Bucky has literally no normal friends and he should probably start spending more time with Sharon Carter.

After dinner, Sam looks relaxed and sated, his eyes warm and heavy-lidded as he watches Bucky shiver under his praise. “You know you have a praise kink, right?”

“Yes, Sam,” Bucky says, and tries to refrain from rolling his eyes. “Steve and I did a ton of research and watched, like, hours of porn together. We figured it out.”

“You and Steve have some serious boundary issues.” Sam shakes his head and grins in amusement. “But seriously, though, you’re not just hooking up with me because you imprinted on me after I made your dick hard or something, right? I mean, I remember the first time I got a boner after being deployed. I cried like a baby, so I get it, man, but—”

“Actually, I sort of wanted to talk to you about that,” Bucky says, his stomach swimming with nerves. This is the moment he’s been anticipating and dreading since he planned this whole date night op. “I was thinking—how would you feel about taking this competition to the next level?”

Sam’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I just think we’d both have more time and energy to devote to this competition if we were competing, you know, exclusively.”

“Ah.” Sam’s expression clears and a slow smile spreads across his handsome face. “You want to be boyfriends.”

“I want to be boyfriends,” Bucky confirms with a decisive nod.

He may be losing this love language competition by about a hundred and fifty points, but Bucky still has some fight in him yet. And between work and sex and co-ownership of Paddington, Bucky’s already spending so much time with Sam that there’s no real way to increase the amount of time in “quality time”—but he can improve the quality of that time. If Bucky and Sam are boyfriends, Bucky figures, all that quality time should automatically count for more points than the quality time they spend together as coworkers with confusing feelings for each other, right?

Bucky’s lungs burn as he holds his breath held in anticipation of Sam’s response.

“Yeah, let’s be boyfriends,” Sam says, with a grin tugging at his lips.

Bucky’s heart soars in victory.

***

Bucky and Sam have decided not to bring Paddington with them to any future therapy appointments just in case Dr. Carson tries to take him away like Cruella de Vil.

This week, however, Dr. Carson shows up their session with a whole new vibe. Instead of striding imperiously into her office in her usual stern fashion, Dr. Carson blows in fifteen minutes late with the casual energy of a high school senior during the last week of school. She walks over to her desk, flip-flops slapping against her feet, and reclines back in her chair to prop her feet up onto the polished surface of her solid oak desk. She’s dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie like a suburban mom in an airport waiting to fly down to Miami for a Caribbean cruise.

“So how’s it going this week, boys?” Dr. Carson asks, slurping from the straw of her Big Gulp soda.

“Um, great.” Sam eyes her cautiously. “Bucky and I are boyfriends now.”

“No shit!” Dr. Carson says, and tilts her head back to squint down at them. “Huh. What do you know about that.” Then she shrugs. “Tell me how it happened.”

So Bucky and Sam tell her every detail of the last week, including the way they tenderly made love after Sam agreed to be Bucky’s boyfriend. Dr. Carson is clear-eyed and engaged the entire time, even during the five full minutes Sam devotes to the ripple of Bucky’s abdominal muscles as he strains toward orgasm, and Bucky’s just starting to think that maybe they can get some real therapy out of Dr. Carson when she says—

“So Fury’s transferring me to Hawaii.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open. “What?”

“Yup.” Dr. Carson burrows deeper into her chair and lets out a relaxed sigh before taking another loud sip of her soda. “This is our last session!”

“So do we have a new therapist after this, or?” Sam waves his hand uncertainly.

“Nah, I’m just gonna go ahead and tell Fury that you guys are doing great. You’ve officially graduated therapy.”

Bucky chokes on air. “Excuse me, what? We graduated therapy?”

“Sure, why not?” Dr. Carson says with a lazy shrug. “Despite literally all of my expectations to the contrary, it seems like you guys have actually formed a stable partnership. Just, you know, maybe stop fucking so much at work.”

Bucky scoffs. “Listen, I didn’t give my life fighting Nazis in World War II—” he begins.

***

After Bucky and Sam’s appointment with Dr. Carson, Sam receives a text asking him to meet Fury in his executive suite.

Bucky heads back to his own office—his real one, buried deep within the bowels of SHIELD in a secret interrogation room someone bricked up the entrance to and then forgot about years ago. Bucky discovered it while crawling through the air ducts to place surveillance equipment in the offices of Nick Fury and the major SHIELD department heads. Once Bucky disposed of the mummified body he found inside—which, wow, super gross—it made the perfect private office space and server room.

Bucky opens his surveillance software just in time to hear Fury tell Sam that Bucky broke his best therapist.

“Dr. Carson is a highly trained professional at the top of her field,” Fury says, his voice stern. “I had to offer her a fifty percent raise to lure her away from private practice, and now I’m sending her away from D.C., where all of my elite agents reside, to Honolulu, which is where I send all the useless nepotism agents I’m forced to hire by the World Security Council. I don’t know what Barnes did to that woman but he just cost me a very experienced and expensive mental health professional.”

“And what makes you think Agent Barnes is at fault?”

“Dr. Carson is obviously not at liberty to divulge any specifics about what was said during your therapy sessions, but she did note that your bickering was ‘maddening’ and that she, quote, hadn’t even realized it was possible to overshare during therapy. She also indicated that Barnes instigated an invasive and traumatizing background check that caused her a great deal of personal distress.’”

“Given Agent Barnes’s history with SHIELD, I think it’s perfectly understandable that he may have sought reassurance that Dr. Carson wasn’t an agent of HYDRA.” Sam’s voice is bland and pleasant. “It’s hardly Agent Barnes’s fault that Dr. Carson turned out to have a surprisingly messy personal life.”

“Be that as it may, I’m suspending Barnes from active duty until he passes a second psych eval from another therapist.”

“With all due respect, sir, Agent Barnes has been nothing but cooperative in this retaliatory investigation into his mental state. He’s a skilled and creative fighter, a selfless and generous partner, and a brilliant tactician. He deserves to be treated with the same respect as any other SHIELD agent who hasn’t shot you.”

Jesus Christ, is Sam offering Bucky words of affirmation even when he’s not there to hear them? What kind of love language master is Sam? God, how can Bucky possibly compete with this?

Fury’s voice is strangled. “Retaliatory?”

“Yes,” Sam says firmly. “As far as I’m aware, Agent Barnes has cleared all mandatory psychological evaluations and then some. If you have a problem with his—or my—behavior in the workplace, I suggest you carefully review our employment contracts and initiate the appropriate disciplinary proceedings. In the meantime, I will be continuing with Agent Barnes as my partner. There will be no suspension.”

The sound of Fury’s office door slamming shut is unexpectedly erotic.

By the time Sam slides through the secret passageway into Bucky’s office, Sam looks calm and collected, like he hasn’t just returned from facing down a man with the power and authority to send him to one of a half-dozen black sites so secret they probably exist on other planets.

“So how’d the meeting go?” Bucky asks, suppressing a grin.

“Oh, it was fine,” Sam says with a nonchalant wave of his hand. ���We don’t have to do therapy anymore.”

Bucky lets his smile spread across his face. “Oh, yeah? No more retaliatory investigations into my mental state?”

When Sam realizes how Bucky must have overheard that remark, his eyes widen in delight. “I’m sorry, did you bug Fury’s office? Bucky Barnes, you crazy asshole, I love you so fucking much.”

Bucky freezes. Sam loves him? Adrenaline and exhilaration race through Bucky’s veins, spreading through his entire circulatory system until he feels like he’s going to buzz right out of his skin. For the second time in Bucky’s life, he’s been flung straight over the side of a cliff, except this time Sam has wings to catch him. God, this is why they call it falling, isn’t it?

Bucky is feeling so fucking affirmed right now. He has never felt so affirmed in his entire life.

And Bucky’s lost that stupid competition now, hasn’t he. There’s no way Bucky can compete with that declaration, no way he can pull off a victory after Sam just earned himself, like, fifty million points—but when Bucky looks at Sam’s gap-toothed grin, he thinks maybe, just maybe, he’s secretly won after all.

And he does have one last, best card to play.

“Hey, Sam,” Bucky says, with a wide grin, “how do you feel about moving in together?”

[pattonsperfectfamily-asks]

Chapter 14- A Very Long Goodbye Chapter from Mod Iva

Masterpost

TW: past stalking (so much. so. much.), nonconsensual recording, crying, forcing someone to hit someone else, r slur, mention of almost forced contact, pushing someone into water, past kidnapping, murder, torture, flashback, breaking into someones house, brainwashing, electrocution

“98.2!” Patton cheers as he pulls the thermometer out of Damien’s mouth. “Now you’re all better!”

Damien sniffles, forcing his head down, his glare aimed passively at the floor. “I wouldn’t have gotten sick if you hadn’t been an idiot and put Virgil in the damn ice bath.”

“Don’t be rude to your father.” Logan scolds, watching the angry look in Patton’s eyes as he pulled Damien closer to him. “And we do not swear in this household.”

“Ohh what, so you’re fucking brainwashed as well?” Damien snaps. “You know, Virgil is one thing, but you’re a grown-ass adult. What’s your excuse?”

Logan froze, tears welling up in his eyes. “I-”

“Punish him,” Patton says curtly. “Do it. Damien, your father is going to punish you for talking back and swearing.”

“W-What?” Logan was shaking. “What would you want me t-to do?”

Patton mimes a harsh smack, his eyes cold. “Do it, Bunny. Or we could go into my room to cuddle if you don’t want to…”

Logan’s eyes widen as he faces Damien nervously.

“Really?” Damien snarks. “Maybe you deserve to be here with Patton, seeing how you like bending to his fucking will 24/7.”

“Glasses, now Logan,” Patton said firmly.

“Sush, we’re just cuddling. This could be much worse, couldn’t it Logie?”

“Get in the box Bunny.”

Alex didn’t take his eyes off him.

“Just shut up and go back to sleep,” Alex says forcefully.

“If you tell, well I won’t be able to go back up and give them food,” Patton says cheerfully. “They’d starve up there, and it’d be all your fault.”

“Husbands are supposed to be faithful, Lolo.”

“You won’t be taking this ring off.”

Logan makes a noise in the back of his throat, a mix of a scream and a sob, and slams his hand down on Damien’s face.

Damien drops to the floor and Patton moves over to Logan, wrapping his arm around Logan’s waist. Damien gingerly touches his cheek, looking up at Logan in shock, who hid his face in Patton’s shoulder and sobbed.

“Shh, it’s okay bunny. You’re okay…” Patton presses a kiss to the top of Logan’s forehead, moving to sit him down on the couch.

Roman watched as the sun slowly set.

Dinner had gone quietly, and Damien sat across from Roman on his bed, sitting silently as Roman peered out the window.

“I think Patton will be asleep soon.” Roman muses.

“I hate him.”

“We all hate him, Dami.”

“Not Patton, I loathe him. I hate Logan.”

Roman looked over at Damien in shock. “He didn’t mean to hurt you Dami, you know that.”

“Yes, he did.” Damien crossed his arms, staring at the door, a seething look in his eyes.

“Logan is just hurting,” Roman says quietly. “He’s doing what he thinks is best for his survival. And Damien, if you hadn’t noticed, it’s working. You shouldn’t have sworn at Patton.”

“But I-”

“No.” Roman cuts Damien off with a shake of his head. “You need to control your attitude around Patton. You know how he’s like, if you act like a happy kid, he won’t bother you. He’s not the problem here.”

“Jason’s only a problem for you,” Damien mutters.

“That’s not fair. That’s not fair, and you know it, Damien.” Roman says quietly. “Patton only bothers you because you argue with him, Jason hurts me no matter what I do. You could ignore Patton for the most part, you just chose not too.”

“Because I’m supposed to be in college right now!” Damien protests, “Which, by the way, I had to work for all summer because I missed most of high school because I was kidnapped by a sociopath!”

“We’ll escape,” Roman says quietly. “We did it before.”

“We got rescued. When we were in the state we were taken from, and in a house that Patton owned.” Damien argues. Roman hides his head in his hands.

“Let’s just go, they should be asleep by now.”

Damien begrudgingly grabs the flashlight they had taken, and carefully follows Roman out into the hallway.

“The closets the only place he could hide something…Besides the basement.” Roman shudders, quietly opening the door and beginning to pull boxes out.

Damien shines the light for him as he opens the first box and began to rifle through the contents.

Inside was a small photo album, which Roman grabs and sets aside. “Old receipts…But they’re from all over America…Some pins…A children’s book, maybe we could convince Patton to give that to Remus? Some old glass figures…barbies…”

Roman gasped, hurriedly grabbing a camcorder and holding it to his chest. “Hurry, help me put this stuff back.”

Damien and Roman quickly shove the box back into the closet and hurry back to Roman’s room, the photo album, and camcorder in their hands.

“So what exactly are we looking for?”

“Maybe one of the pictures will have an address or a map. Something to tell us more of where exactly we are.” Roman says hopefully.

“Sure.” Damien rolled his eyes, beginning to flip through the pages. “There’s just normal pictures of small Jason, and what I’m assuming is his family. This one has Jason and that priest that’s also named Jason…And here’s one with Patton, Amelia, Jason, the other Jason, and Alex. All of them together.”

Roman shuddered at the reminder of Alex, looking at the photo curiously.

The five kids, around twelve, sat together in a treehouse, their arms around each other’s waist. Patton, priest Jason, and Amelia all had big smiles on their faces, but Jason and Alex looked like they were plotting something. In the back, a smaller figure with long hair and a blurred face laid curled up.

“They look like they were in a club.” Roman hums. “Who’s the girl in the back…?”

Damien shrugs, turning on the camcorder and going to the back of the gallery, to the first ever video.

“Here she is! Little Miss Amelia, all done with her initiation!” A female voice from off-camera spoke, and Amelia giggled, clumsily curtsying.

“Doesn’t she look gorgeous!” Another female voice compliments. “You two are so lucky!”

“Amelia, say hello to the video.” A male voice prompts.

The young Amelia tugged at one of her braids. “Hello.”

“Do you know why we’re filming?” The first female asks. Amelia pauses, her face falling as she shook her head.

“We’re filming this to celebrate darling! One last little test, alright?”

“Okay, Daddy!” Amelia smiles once more, and the camera shakes as it’s set down on a table.

An older woman appears in the frame, her hair and eyes dark, wearing a fancy silver dress. “Go ahead and sit down Amelia.”

Amelia sits across from the mother, her legs kicking slightly as she smoothed out her pink dress.

“Amelia,” The man rummaged in a box and held out a photograph. “Do you know who this is?”

Amelia peered at the man and woman in the photo closely. “No.”

“Do you know any girls at your school named Sarah Jonas?” The mother prompts.

“No.” Amelia giggles.

“What’s your full name?” The woman offscreen asks.

“Amelia Marie Lebent.” Amelia says with a little nod of her head.

The mother and father beam and the video ends.

Roman stares down at the frozen screen in confusion, worry growing in the pit of his stomach. “This belonged to Amelia’s family…?”

“But why were they asking her what her name was?” Damien asks. “Was she in an accident?”

Roman looks at Damien, deciding not to build off of anything, and instead playing the next video.

“Look! It’s huge!” A young Patton struggles to hold up a fish to the camera, his fishing pole knocking off his bucket hat.

“Careful!” The offscreen voice of a young Alex snaps as Amelia grabs Patton’s hat and puts it back on his head.

The group of kids were on a boat in the middle of a lake, a town in the distance.

“Mummy said we had to come home soon.” Amelia pouts, looking seasick as she tried to read her book amongst the chaos on the boat.

“Look at my fish!” Patton appears in front of the camera again, holding up the same trout.

“You already showed us the damn fish, stupid.” A young Jason snaps.

“Isn’t it cool?!” Patton asks excitedly, showing it again to Jason.

“Patton, you have to put the fish in the cooler, remember buddy?” Priest Jason says gently, guiding Patton off-screen.

“Patton! Come'ere, lookit this!” Alex says excitedly. From behind the camera, Jason snickers.

“What?!” Patton practically trips over his own feet as he rushes to Alex’s side of the boat.

“Look, do you see that fish, it looks like a shark!”

“Really?!” Patton hurriedly bends over the side of the boat.

Alex quickly pushes Patton in, who falls with a big splash.

“Alex!” Amelia yells, snapping her book closed and jumping up. She and priest Jason hurry to the side of the boat where Patton was pushed, while Alex and Jason laugh.

“It’s not my fault his parents fried his brain and made him a r*tard!” Alex laughs as Patton surfaces.

“You’re so funny!” Patton laughs, looking panicked. “Can I come back on the boat now…I don’t wanna get bit by a shark…”

“There’s no shark.” Priest Jason reassures him as he, Amelia, and Alex pull Patton back onto the boat. “We’re on the lake. Sharks are in oceans.”

Patton shivers. “Can we go home now?” He asks, his voice small. His entire chest was shaking.

The video ended.

"He deserved it.“ Damien had laughed when Patton fell in, but Roman simply looked horrified at the video. "What?”

Roman’s mouth stayed open in shock as he played the next video.

A girl with brown hair was on the screen.

“She looks like the girl from the picture…” Roman notices.

“What’s your name?” The mother from the first video asks.

“…Olivia…” The girl can’t even manage to get out her last name as a button is pressed. She writhes around in front of the camera, sweat pouring down her face as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

“Your name is Valerie, say it!” Amelia orders, marching over to the girl. “Say it! Your my sister Valerie!”

“That’s enough Amelia. Come back over here please.”

Amelia quickly complies as the girl tries to catch her breath.

“I…I want to go h-” She cuts off with another scream.

The video cut off, and they began again, now outside, where Patton and priest Jason peeked out from inside a large hole in the ground.

“Get out boys.” A man demands.

“But we’re playing Pop!” Priest Jason complains.

“This is a funeral! Out!” A woman says firmly. The two boys groan and pull themselves out.

“I still want a sister.” Amelia’s voice says from off-camera. Amelia’s dad appears in frame, holding Olivia’s body.

“We can try again next year darling, mummy can’t invest in another one right now.” Amelia’s voice says.

The man lays the girl down in the hole and begins shoveling the dirt back in as the camera moves to face a small seated crowd.

“That’s why I tell you, you go younger. My Alex never gave me any problems.” A woman holding a toddler in overalls says to Amelia’s mother.

The mother sips at her champagne in thought. “I don’t know, I think we might have only the one.”

“But I want a sister!” Amelia protests again.

“Daddy will get you a pony instead darling.” Amelia’s father promises.

“I already have a pony. I need a sister to play with.” Amelia pouts. “I’m the only girl except for baby Madeline.”

“Madeline won’t be a baby forever, and you have fun playing with your cousins.” The mother waves offhandedly, taking another sip of champagne.

The video ended.

“They…They tortured her…” Damien gasps. “Ohh my god she was Virgil’s age and they fucking killed her!”

“I think Alex said they did that to Patton too…I think they did that to all of them…” Roman switches to the next video, before gasping.

“Careful!” The camera shakes and then straightens out, zooming in on a thirteen-year-old Roman and Remus, playing together in the river.

“Sorry, dad,” Fourteen-year-old Patton says quietly, laughing when Remus shoved Roman under the water.

Roman spits water in his brother’s face in retaliation.

Roman switches to the next video, cutting off Patton’s voice.

“Look, Virgil, I borrowed this camcorder from my friend!” Twenty-four-year-old Patton says, pushing it closer so that Virgil’s face took up the entire screen.

The five-year-old giggled, gently pushing the camera back.

“Can you show me your drawing?” Patton asks.

Virgil carefully grabs the blue piece of construction paper, showing the camera. “Isa puppy!”

“It’s so good!” Patton praises, “You did such a good job Virgey!”

Virgil giggles, bouncing in place. “When Kai an mommy an daddy gonna get bac’?”

“Don’t be silly Virgey, your dad’s right here!” Patton says cheerfully.

Virgil giggles. “You na my daddy Pat-Pat! You my fwend!”

“Aww!” Patton shifts the camera, holding it away as he quickly came into view, kissing Virgil over and over on the head, which made the boy giggle. “I love being your friend, baby!”

The video ended.

“I feel sick,” Damien says quietly. “That video…It’s creepy, I don’t want to watch anymore…”

“They’ve been watching us this whole time…Patton knew about Remus and me since we were thirteen, maybe sooner.” Roman hid his head in his hands. “Holy fuck…We have to get out of here.”

Damien stands, backing towards the door. “I’m going to bed…I…I can’t finish watching…”

He hurriedly leaves, and Roman skips a few of the videos of Patton babysitting Virgil, his heart sinking when he saw Damien on one.

“Just ignore the camera.” Patton encourages.

“I don’t think I can-”

“No you’ll be great! I have to document this!” Patton laughs. “C'mon Dami, you’re so talented.”

Damien looks up at Patton then nods, blowing out a slow breath of air as he placed his fingers over the piano keys.

The video plays silently as Damien plays a classical piece, Patton cheering loudly at the end. “You did so good kiddo! You could win the competition next week!”

“Competition?” Damien looks up, confused.

“That must have been a few days before the first kidnapping…” Roman says to himself.

A quiet creak sounds from the hallway and Roman covers his mouth, hoping whoever was in the hall wouldn’t be Jason, and wouldn’t open his door.

Footsteps pad down the outside, and suddenly stop.

Roman’s door swings open, and Logan stares in at him.

“Why are you still up?” Logan asks, suddenly noticing the camcorder, “Where did you get that?”

“Why are you still up?” Roman asks as Logan sits next to him on the bed. “And why are you upstairs?”

“I couldn’t sleep after what I did to Damien…” Logan looks down in shame, fighting back tears. “I came up to apologize…But I couldn’t do it…What are you doing with a camcorder?”

Roman looked miserable at the question, holding the camcorder out to Logan and switching to the next video.

“Is that me?”

Roman grabs it back and looks. Sure enough, you could see Logan from through a window next to a door leading into his old classroom.

Roman plays the video.

A few moments pass in silence as Patton zooms in on Logan, seemingly grading papers.

“We’ve known each other so long…” Patton says wistfully. “I…Today I’m gonna do it!” He hurriedly moves away from the door and heads down a hallway. “We’re the only one’s that teach on this side of the building…I’ll just run into him, and he can help me pick up my stuff!”

The video ended.

The next video played.

Patton zoomed in through a window, the camera shaky.

Logan, maybe seventeen years old, sat down at a table with his family, eating with one hand and reading a book with the other.

“Ohh my god.” Logan chokes back a sob.

The next video played.

Fifteen-year-old Logan laid fast asleep in his bed, and the camera stayed on him for a minute before Patton began walking around the room.

“He likes science, and the planets, and pluto!” Patton giggles quietly, gently touching Logan’s space poster. “His favorite food is Crofter’s jam, and we’re going to have it every day on toast for breakfast!”

Patton returns to Logan’s bed and gently kisses him on the forehead. “I promise Bunny. We’re gonna have the most perfect little house, and kids and my brother Roman is gonna live with us!”

Logan stifled a sob, silent tears rolling down his face. “Ohh gods and goddesses…He…He ran into me on purpose…He snuck into my bedroom…Roman, he could have done anything when I was asleep, what if he-!”

Roman wrapped his arms around Logan, doing his best to comfort him. “We have to get out of here. I…I always just thought I was in the wrong place at the wrong time…Fuck…I never should have let him sit with me at the damn cafe!”

Logan sniffed, pressing the button to start the next recording.

Logan, only seven, sat on the swings at the park, reading a book and lazily kicking his feet.

“Are you sure Patton?” Patton’s mother asks, looking down at Patton. Patton smiles up at the camera.

“Yeah! I really really love him, Mama!” The boy giggled, and Jason shoved him lightly.

“Patton’s got a cr-ush, Patton’s got a cr-ush!” Amelia sand teasily. Alex said nothing, simply stared ahead at Logan deviously.

Patton went red. “Stop it!” He whined. “Mama, please can he be my husband when I’m big?”

“Of course love, whatever you want. Only the best for you.” She says. Patton beams.

“We’re gonna get married and live happily ever after!” Patton sighs happily.

“Only if you do what I say love, adults are tricky.” The mother reminds him. “You must go slow.”

“But he’s gonna love me forever and ever?” Patton asks innocently.

“Of course.” His mother repeats.

The video ended.

“I-” Logan choked up, staring at the ending screen. “At least he wasn’t in my room, right?”

Roman smiles sadly. “Yeah. I don’t think he did anything. I think that was the only time he went in your house.”

Roman shuts the camcorder off before Logan can look through the rest of the obsessive stalking videos, hiding it under his bed and turning to Logan.

“Why don’t we make a plan, okay Logan?” Roman says gently. “We’ll do that, but first you have to be very brave and go sleep with Patton, okay?”

“Okay…” Logan nods.

Roman stares up at him sadly as Logan stood. “Goodnight, Logan.”

“Goodnight…” Logan whispers. “R-Roman…Can you do something for me?”

“Of course.” Roman nods. “Anything, what?”

Logan hurriedly sat down and stared Roman in the eyes for a few seconds, pulling Roman into a tight hug, Logan chokes out a “Goodnight Remus” before crying more and hurrying downstairs.

Words: 3150

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[crazycoke-addict]

The Idealism and Reality of Mary Winchester

Mary Winchester is a fictional character from the tv series Supernatural. She’s the wife of John Winchester and the mother of the two main protagonists, Sam and Dean Winchester. In the first episode, Mary is murdered by the yellow eyed demon in Sam’s nursery which kick starts off the whole series. Despite being absent due to her death, Mary will plays a major role in the boy’s life and appears a few times as a spirit, a young Mary when Dean and later on Sam timetravels, an illusion and a person that Eve shapeshifts. However, Mary doesn’t make her full on experience since Season 1 until the end of Season 11. She was gift to dean given by Amara for helping be in peace with her brother Chuck (God). When Mary return and the decisions that the writers made on her character, the feedback wasn’t positive. The fans started to hate the character and even went as far too say she wasn’t a good mother. However I myself have a different opinion because I don’t hate Mary Winchester and Looking back, I quite enjoy this complicated character rather than the character the ideal version that they given us.

Before Mary return in the show, she was mentioned as a kind and nurturing mother. Mary’s role was seen as housewife and stay at home mom. Despite the fact that she died when Dean was four, he was the lucky enough to actually know her because of this, Dean only remembers her as being a loving and caring mothers and as time went on he held on to this Mary because it’s Mary that he remembered before she died. We see this in Season 5 ‘Dark Side of The moon’ when the boys go through their memories and in one memory for Dean’s part was his mother taking care of him and this is after they found out she’s a hunter due to her wanting to have a normal life. When Mary return as gift to dean by Amara, she’s still the same Mary who wanted a normal life however this time, her sons have grown became the people that she didn’t want. Of course, she did go back into the hunting business but she felt like she needed to. Because she still hold onto that ideal life, Mary probably thought she was making the right choice by joining the British men of letters at first, she didn’t want to but when they persuade her by saying they can get rid of the monsters than that got her attention. Because she was holding onto the ideal life, she probably thought that If all monsters didn’t exist than her sons don’t have to hunt anymore they can have a normal life. It wasn’t until she was brainwashed by the British men of letters were Dean had to go into her mind to find out why she did what she thought was best. Dean got her to realise that the ideal life that she kept holding on to is too late and they can’t go back as being a normal family, when Dean was pouring out his feelings, I think this also made him realise that he needs to release the ideal mother that he put upon her and accept that she’s a complex woman.

I see Mary as selfless whose trying to do what she believe is right but it also can become controversial. This being when her sons came to rescue and because she got to know the people and the fact that they are in apocalyptic, she believe that she should stay and the boys can go back along with Jack. I think in her mind, she thought that a Winchester should be in a world where they can protect it. So, Sam and Dean can go back to their world and protect it because everyone needs a Winchester with them. However that isn’t the case for Dean’s part, when Mary got herself into the crack with lucifer, Dean believe that she died and lost hope. Until it was realise that she was still alive, him and Sam spent months trying to find a way to open the crack and bring her home, now that he found her, she doesn’t want to leave. This was the part were Sam had to step in to be the peacekeeper and suggest that they should bring the people to their world. The world that lived was far worse than their world and Sam’s goal was to make both of them happy. Mary’s actions is seen as selfish from her keeping secrets from her sons to the choices she has made. But it doesn’t contrast her to Sam and Dean who have done similar things. Maybe it’s because they do it for the sake of the family even though one of them aren’t on board. The episode that pops is the first episode of season 9, when Sam hospitalised since the trials took a toll on him. Sam felt like it’s was his time but Dean can’t let him go, so what does he do? He has an angel to get Sam to say Yes, but without Sam knowing that an angel lives inside him.

Like Mary, they too have also team up with the enemy. How many times has the brothers teamed up with Crowley and than Crowley chose to betrayed them at the last minute? Too many times. Is it because we got to know Crowley a bit more and we love the character due to how sarcastic and charisma he can be unlike The British men of letters. However when it comes to the British men of letters, it seems like not all of them are hated. People grown to love Mitch until he died and I’m pretty there are fans out there who actually like Ketch. The boys were upset with Mary for deciding to team up with BMOL because they kidnapped and tortured Sam which is understandable, but back in season 9, when Kevin Tran finds out that the boys were hiding Crowley, the demon who tormented and tortured him and even believe at that time killed his mother and was upset that the Winchesters would let him live or even team up with him. Is it because Sam and Dean are the main protagonist than when they have flaws it’s understandable or they are doing for the greater good. But for Mary however isn’t allowed to have flaws or isn’t listen to bad choices because she’s supposed to be the perfect one.

[nadjaofstatenisland]

will you tell me some hunger games au thoughts pretty please!!!

Alice -  Katniss

Hal - Peeta

FP - Haymitch

Gladys - Gale

Penelope - Effie

Clifford - Snow

Fred - Cinna

Hiram - Finnick

Hermione - Johanna

Tom - Boggs

Sierra - Coin

Mary - Prim?

(we could also explore the parents as other tributes from the 74th games  with Penelope - Foxface, Hermione - Glimmer, Hiram - Marvel, Clifford - Cato, Gladys - Clove, Daryl as the district 3 kid who rigs the platforms to be landmines, FP as Thresh?? and honestly no one is good and pure enough to be Rue... maybe Fred is Rue i dunno)

I won’t lie Mary as Prim isn’t quite right (i think mary is more fun as coin but sierra does fit that bill better) but lets just go with it. Mary’s name is called and Alice volunteers to go in her place. Gladys pulls a screaming Mary away as Alice goes up on stage. Hal is called. They’re off.

FP as their drunk mentor with a laundry list of issues and Penelope as their frantic extra ass escort who can’t take FP very cute. I always enjoyed Effie and Haymitch sassing each other yet coming through for their children tributes and working together when they need to and it that isn’t a FP and Penelope dynamic I don’t know what is.

So much of Katniss and Peeta scream halice. Hal trying to be nice to her and not trusting him and planning his death. Alice also absolutely hating FP and convinced he’s not going to do shit to keep her alive and he’s just going to help Hal. Hal and FP keeping their entire plan away from Alice because they knew she’d fuck it up if she knew about it for real. (which on a side note is how i like to pretend the fbi plot in s3 actually went.) Alice and Hal screaming compliments at each other to FP to make the other look stronger and getting furious at each other. The time Hal told the country he’s in love with Alice and she responded by cutting his hand open with a vase. Hal already knowing he doesn’t have a chance to win (and his confession that his own mother thinks alice has a way better shot than him) and he just hopes being in there doesn’t change him and Alice all FUCK YOU WE CAN’T ALL AFFORD TO HAVE MORALS.

Clifford as Snow because really... the whole rose thing. That’s all I got but it works. Oh, and the white hair. Fred as Cinna, aka the only person Alice can really trust and in turn secretly sets her up to be this symbol of rebellion. Fred always propping his friends up...

Hal working with the careers to save Alice?? To misdirect them from her plans and not let on to what her skill is! Thinking of Hal teaming up with the career pack of Hiram, Hermione, Clifford, and Gladys is very funny to me. And Alice taking out both Hiram and Hermione whew. Nice. Alice going crazy looking for Hal when she realizes they can both live. And HOW DID I FORGOT. That drawing in Hal’s prison cell opened me up to the idea of artist Hal and that’s like Peeta’s whole thing after baking wow.

Very powerful Penelope making it to the end. And her technically dying because of Hal.. sad. He didn’t want that kill. And the finally three being halice and Clifford damn. Alice would absolutely pull some sneaking shit to win and this always ties back to Haymitch and Katniss parallels and Alice and FP ones. Kids from the seam = kids from the southside.

Alice going back and ruining everything with Hal when she realizes he was 100% genuine in everything he did in there. And her feeling like her friendship with Gladys is ruined because Gladys is jealous of Hal ooof. Yet Gladys still helps them train when they find out they’re going back in and her whole speech about how it would be so much easier to hate Hal if he wasn’t so nice... how true is that.

Alice and Hal both half taking care of FP so he doesn’t drink himself to death. Alice throwing a bucket of water on him and IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO WAKE YOU UP GENTLY CALL HAL and Hal is there with a loaf of bread to wake him up and practically stabs a piece for Alice. 

Hiram as Finnick... look it works okay he’s just as vain. And Hermione as Johanna this cold, jaded woman who refuses to love anyone works really well. Also Hiram constantly flirting with her and Hermione constantly taking her clothes off in front of her because they both get off on making Alice uncomfortable?? I love it. There was no reason for Hermione to strip and oil her breasts to practice wrestling during training but damn if she didn’t do it in front of Alice.

And then the actual games and Alice’s immediate mistrust of them but knowing FP set up some stupid plan with them for her own good. Alice having to watch helplessly as Fred is beaten and killed in front of her... Hiram and Hermione keeping Alice and Hal alive in the games and eventually separating them and therefore them getting taken separately.

Hal and Hermione being tortured in a joining cells while Alice and Hiram suffer from ptsd back in “safety.” Alice being stuff under the watchful eye of Tom while she does Sierra’s bidding and becomes this symbol she didn’t want to be,

OH WHEN ALICE THINKS THEY’RE ALL BEING TAKEN TO THE CAPITOL TO BE MURDERED SHE’S LIKE SWEET SWEET HAL... I NEED TO KILL YOU BEFORE THEY DO and she goes to murder him with an empty syringe... only to find FP and discover his plan and try to kill HIM with it. Also when she finds out what they’re doing in the capitol to Hal and FP is the only one who she’ll accept comfort from because she knows FP is the only one who remotely cares for Hal the way she does. I - 

And their whole reunion when she goes running to him before she realizes he’s been brainwashed and he winds up choking her ouch. Him having all those memories of her distorted. Not knowing what was real or not. His sad “I must have really loved you huh” and she can only nod and even then she can’t say it back because she just doesn’t know. And her fear that the way Hal sees her now is the way the whole world actually sees her that she actually is awful. And Gladys comforting words that of course she’s not that way. Oh and lol at Hal asking her “so Gladys and I were both okay with you kissing the other one? that was all just... cool between us?? umm.”

Gladys discovering she actually has a knack for fighting and makes a pretty good weapons expert/soldier. Mary’s eventual death and Alice realizing that even though they won the war, she lost her own battle and the thing that meant the most to her and she takes a shot and kills Sierra when she knows she was supposed to kill Clifford. (its okay he dies too.) Alice going into herself and giving up on life because if her sister is gone she really doesn’t feel she has anything left to live for. And it’s not for years that Hal comes back and the two of them finally realize the war really is over and while life may not be perfect it doesn’t mean they can’t try to live their lives. Even if it takes them 15 years to marry and have children... okay this was all a mess of a rant but you get the idea...