#and then message me. about it? about my own OC. yes I know he kills people I made him do that.

[borathae]

If I Was Your Boyfriend

"If he was your boyfriend, he would give you the actual world. Sadly he is just your best friend with the biggest unrequited crush ever."

Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: Unrequited Crush!AU, Idiots in Love!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, Romance

Warnings: OC is scared of a bug (me fr), he kills it for her, he would do anything for her, yearning, unrequited feelings (? mhhm ?), listen. he may be a lil bit dense when it comes to reading signs jsjjss bless his heart, i need him as my boyfriend, so much tension between them, jsjsjs this is pure torture i want them to kiss!!, brief mention of adult toys, miscommunication because he suuucks at love confessions, protective & slightly jealous!Kook, he is the greenest flag though like seriously, the happiest end hihi, the inspo was seven mv kook, she is shorter than him because i have the hugest size kink with him and this is so self-indulgent <3, once again i need him as my boyfie

Wordcount: 10.5k

a/n: sometimes i have ideas for one specific trope without wanting to write the whole book lmaooo, so enjoy this lil slow burn fluff scenario which is so self-indulgent and fanfiction coded. also, it was inspired by a real life event where i found a bug in my bed and i had to kill it on my own :( i was being very brave about it 😔 ps: this is very unrealistic 'cause like why would you only be best friends with HIM? that wouldn't be an unrequited crush if that was me. happy birthday to kookie 💛

The call comes around two at night. Jungkook picks up with the first ring. He was working out before that.

“Hello? Are you okay?” he asks, resting his head against the edge of the sofa as he is currently sitting on the floor. He was doing sit ups before that, trying his hardest to regulate his sped-up breathing right now.

“Kook, please help me.”

Jungkook sits up straight.

“Where are you? Are you safe?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s following me. I locked it inside my room but I can still hear it.”

“Stay with me, I’m getting dressed”, he says, jumping to his feet to hurry to his front door.

“Please hurry please. I’m so scared.”

“I’m coming, don’t worry. Are you home?”

“Yes. Hurry please.”

“I’m coming, stay strong. Yeah?”

“Yes, thank you”, you say and end the call.

Jungkook curses, shoving the phone into his pants pocket. He puts on his jacket as he runs down the hallway and puts on his beanie once he is inside the elevator. He is restless in the small space, wishing for it to go quicker. It’s too slow.

“Come on, come on”, he stresses it, knowing that it is fruitless.

You are his best friend. Well, at least that is what you would call him. Best friend. Jungkook sees so much more in you. His best friend, his person of trust, his crush. He would never tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to make it awkward. But if there were no consequences for speaking up, Jungkook would tell you that you are his dream girl. You are funny, sweet, caring, talented, intelligent, wonderful, perfect, amazing, beautiful, pretty, stunning. Yes, Jungkook thinks that you are all of these things and more. When he is close to you, his heart races and he wants to keep looking at your face. When you are sad, he wants to make you happy again and when you smile, he wants to keep it on your face. When you aren’t with him, he misses you and when you are with him, he hopes that time stops passing. You are the person he updates on the most mundane of things and whose text messages always bring a quick flutter to his chest. Your voice is the voice he could listen to for hours and your face is the face he doesn’t get tired of staring at when you and he video chat late night till you and he both run out of things to say. And at the same time, you are the person with whom Jungkook never runs out of things to talk about, if he didn’t have to breathe, he would continue to babble to you until your ears wore off. Jungkook swears that if there were no consequences for his words, he would tell you all of this. 

But alas, there are consequences and so Jungkook is left keeping his true feelings hidden.

The outcome of tonight’s phone call obviously wouldn’t have changed whether or not he had romantic feelings for you. Jungkook loves you as a friend as well. And he will always be there for his friends. Especially when they are clearly scared by something.

Jungkook rings your bell. You open the door as if you were waiting for him, grabbing him by his wrists to drag him inside. Jungkook’s entire body flutters at the feeling of your touch. 

“Finally you are here. Come in quick, please”, you tell him.

You must have been sleeping already. You are in your pyjamas and have no make-up on. Jungkook swears that you have never looked more beautiful before. 

“What happened? Did someone break in?” he asks instead of telling you that you are beautiful.

“Worse.”

“Worse?”

“Kook, there is a huge bug in my room. Please kill it.”

Jungkook stops in his tracks. You call him over for that? You stop when you feel his strength all of a sudden, looking over your shoulder. He has his right brow cocked up.

“What?” you stress.

“You give me a heart attack for that?”

“What? Of course. It’s a bug.”

Jungkook sighs in annoyance, “seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” You round him to shove him by his back. “Kill it for me, please Kook.”

“Fine, I’ll kill it”, he gives up and groans, letting you shove him to your bedroom. Jungkook would never dare to think this way, but right now he wished that you were shoving him to your room for something else. Nothing dirty of course, just cuddles. Lots of cuddles. He would literally trade both his kidneys so he could hold you in his arms until you fall asleep just once. He would make sure that you were warm and that you felt safe in his embrace. He would kiss your face and tell you sweet nothings like how he thinks of you when he listens to love songs and how he wishes that it was you and he whenever he sees a romantic scene in a movie.

God, Jungkook is so done for. 

“Where is this stupid bug?” he acts annoyed to make the yearning a little easier. It is difficult when you have your hands on his back and they are so, so warm.

“In there.” You open the door carefully and look around. “Follow me”, you say, tiptoeing into your room.

Jungkook follows you, smiling fondly. You are cute when you are acting like this. 

“Where is it?” he asks, trying his hardest not to think about how he wants to snuggle you for being cute.

“I don’t know. It was right there when I last saw it.”

“Maybe it’s already gone.”

“No, it was-” 

The bug flies past you, you scream instantly, jumping at Jungkook for help.

“The bug! Eeeek Kooook! I hate bugs!” you squeak, hiding away in his chest.

Jungkook hopes that you can’t feel his racing pulse, because it is racing. You never touched him like this before, let alone snuggled so close to him. 

Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. 

He wraps one arm around you, patting the back of your head. 

“There, there you big baby”, he teases.

“I hate bugs so much”, you whine, snuggling closer.

He glances down at you, feeling every beat his heart takes.

Act cool! Act cool! Act cool!

What if he wrapped both arms around you? Would that go too far? He wouldn’t mean anything dirty behind it, he just really wants to hug you and feel you melt in his arms.

“Kill it, Kook please”, you whine and move your head so you were looking up at him. Your eyes lock.

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, forgetting to breathe for just a few moments.

ACT COOL! ACT COOL! ACT COOL!

What if he cupped your face right here and now to kiss your nose and cheeks and forehead and chin and lips and eyes? What if he did that?

“Please kill it.”

“I am, you gotta let go for that”, he gets out, surprised at how normal his voice sounds eventhough he is currently losing his mind.

Please don’t let go. Please don’t let go. 

You let go. Disappointment from his side. You hide behind him and grab his waist for moral support. Butterflies in his tummy, his knees buckle a little. Holy moly. Holy moly. Wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. 

“You’re seriously so brave for this”, you tell him.

“Yeah, yeah or maybe you’re just a scaredy cat.”

He has no idea how he is able to talk properly right now when you have him literally messed up. 

Jungkook inches close to where the bug is sitting on the wall while his thoughts and heart are racing. He has to act nonchalant about the situation. You are only holding him like this because you are scared.

“Do you have a shoe?” he asks you, hating his hand for shaking when he presents it to you.

You bend down and take off your right slipper, “will this do?” 

“Perfect.” 

Jungkook takes the slipper and carefully moves closer to the bug. Your fingers tighten on his waist.

“Careful now”, you comment.

“I am” he gets out, concentrating vigorously. He can’t mess up now, you are counting on him. 

“Almost there. Almost there”, you cheer him on.

Jungkook slams the shoe down. The bug has no chance of escape. You scream.

“Gotcha.”

“Did you get it? Is it dead? Kook, is it dead?”

Jungkook lifts the slipper and looks at the squished bug on its sole. He shows it to you.

“Dead.”

“Yay, it’s dead. Ew how nasty, you can see the intestines.”

“Right. Give me a minute, I’m cleaning it.”

“Use acid for it. Just to be sure it doesn’t come back.

He chuckles, “sure, I’ll use acid.”

He leaves you in your bedroom to hurry to the bathroom. 

Your apartment is familiar to him. He spends a lot of time here. Mostly to chill on your couch and watch shows with you. Sometimes you also cook dinner together and then eat it by the table, while other times you do a workout together. Seriously, you are his fucking dream girl. 

One time as you and he were cooking together, he needed something from the shelf above you, but you couldn’t step away from the stove. So he got it while you were right in front of him and his chest brushed against your back and he swears that he heard your breath hitch for a moment. Jungkook wanted to hug you back then. When you later that evening turned to let him taste the cooking only to use the same fork to taste it yourself, Jungkook almost kissed you. 

One time when you were watching a show, you got cold hands and Jungkook offered to warm them for you. He didn’t think you would accept, but you did and so he ended up with your cold hands under his hoodie as you warmed them up on his skin. Jungkook swears that he wanted to pin you against the sofa and kiss your cute face back then.

One time when you were doing a workout together, you struggled with a movement and asked him for help. He ended up having to hold you by your hips as he guided you through the movement. He wanted to flip you and kiss you senseless back then. 

He never felt like this before. He was scared of these feelings at first, but now he can’t get enough. You are a foodie, a romance lover and a lover for couple workouts and it’s so impossible for him not to be in love. You are seriously his dream girl. There is no fucking way around this.

Jungkook knows that tonight will be such a memory as well. the kind of memory which tingles, but which also makes him regret that he didn’t act differently. When you cuddled into him, he wanted to hug you properly. When you grabbed his waist he wanted to turn in your grasp and kiss you against the door. But he knows that he can’t. He would ruin what you are having and he could never get over this heartbreak.

Jungkook looks at your toothbrush as he cleans the shoe. Sometimes he thinks about how it would feel to be represented in your bathroom as the second toothbrush right next to yours.  

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, burning holes into the empty space next to your toothbrush. He would put so much effort into taking care of himself so you could always look at the best version of him. He would do skincare nights with you. He would try out hair masks with you and rub body lotion on the spots you can’t reach. He would brush his teeth, floss them and use mouthwash religiously just so his kisses would always taste good. He would do all of this if it meant you had an attractive boyfriend.

Jungkook looks away. He is doing it again, he is getting delusional. He shouldn’t do that. It isn’t his right. 

He turns off the water and leaves the bathroom so he could return the slipper to you.

You are in the kitchen, looking at him instantly.

“Is it gone?” you ask him.

“Yup, it’s gone. Your slipper.”

“Thank you seriously. You just saved my life”, you say and lift a bottle of his favorite beer. “Thank You Beer?”

He shakes his head, “I need to drive.”

“Okay. Then a Thank You Water?”

“Yeah, I can drink that.”

Jungkook accepts the offer because he can stay with you longer that way.

“Coming right up. Get comfy in the meantime.”

Jungkook waits on the sofa, but stands up when you come inside the room. He accepts the water and sits back down. You plop down right in front of him, pulling your legs onto the pillow. Your knees are almost touching the side of thigh.

“You seriously saved my ass tonight. I was already in bed when I felt something tickle my arm and then I turned on the lights and it was right on my arm. I screamed so loud, you have no idea.”

“That sounds traumatic.”

“It was traumatic.” You shudder. “I hate bugs.”

Jungkook laughs softly.

“What? Are you laughing at me?”

“No, just laughing ‘cause I agree. You really hate bugs.”

“I do. Awful things, seriously.”

He laughs and you laugh as well. Your eyes meet again. He takes a sip of his water then asks a question which scares him a little.

“Why did you call me?”

“Why not?”

“I, I mean”, he stutters, feeling his heart do somersaults.

“You were my first thought. It’s probably because you’re always keeping me safe.”

Jungkook swears he wants to kiss you right now. He is the first person you think of when you need help. He is your safe person. Wow, wow, wow.

“Is that weird to say?” you ask him shyly.

“Not at all”, he gets out in a terribly hoarse voice.

“Okay phew. I knew that I could count on you.”

Jungkook gives you a smile. One you retort with a vast glance at his lips.

Jungkook brings the empty glass to the kitchen to clean it after he finishes it. You follow him. 

“You don’t have to clean that”, you tell him, trying to reach for the glass but he moves it away.

“I got it”, he assures you, looking at you over his arm.

You and he are so close again. He can’t stop looking into your eyes. He knows that he is delusional, but in his mind, your eyes are so bright when you look at him. But it’s not real and he is acting stupid when he is staring like that. He turns his head away, blind to the few more seconds your eyes seem to linger on his face.

“What were you doing when I called you?” you ask him, watching his hands as he washes the glass.

“Working out.”

“Really? At this time?”

“That’s when I get energised.”

“Of course you do. What were you doing?”

“Just stuff on the floor.”

“Nice. Like push ups and stuff?”

“Yeah and sit ups.”

“That’s cool.” 

He has his back turned to you, putting away the glass. He is wearing a white oversized shirt, but the movement makes it stick to his body, showing not only his skinny waist but also his built, muscular back. His shoulders grew so much over the past seven months. (Seven months ago was when you decided to download a dating app and told Jungkook about it. Jungkook started working out harder since then.) 

He closes the cupboard and turns. 

“Something wrong?” he asks, somehow oblivious to your stares. 

“Nothing, no uhm.” You look to the side. “You probably wanna leave now?”

He doesn’t want to leave.

“If you still need me here, I can stay”, he offers.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Really?”

He nods his head, giving you a sweet smile with teeth. He would do anything for you, even mess up his sleep schedule.

“Maybe there is another bug, you know?” you say, playing with your own fingers shyly.

His heart is jumping in joy. He can stay longer. 

“That could be possible, yeah. Should we check?” he offers as calmly as possible.

“Yeah, please.”

Yay! Yay! Yay!

“I know I sound so stupid.”

“You don’t. Come on, I’ll check.”

You and he go to your bedroom together. Jungkook wants to hold your hand, but knows that he can’t. You close the door to your bedroom. His pulse flutters for a moment. In another lifetime, this would be the moment you pull him into a kiss. But Jungkook knows that stupid things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies, not reality.

He has to act as your best friend who doesn’t have a crush on you if he wanted to or not. He lifts your blanket and shakes it out.

“No bugs”, he comments.

“That’s good, yeah. I should probably check the pillows.”

You crawl onto bed and make it your job to flip each individual pillow. Jungkook looks at you for a moment. He hates that things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies. Because in a different lifetime, he jumps onto bed with you to hug you. He listens to your giggle and makes you giggle even harder by tickling your sides.

You, oblivious to his longing stares, flip yet another pillow. 

“No bugs here, thank god. I probably sound insane to you, but I’m actually so scared that there’s a whole bug family in this room.”

“You don’t sound insane. I’ll take care of them if we find them.”

“You’re seriously my hero.”

Jungkook is thinking. Maybe he could still make you laugh, he thinks. Not by showering you in skinship, but differently. 

“Hey, check this out”, he says.

“What? Did you find another bug?!” you gasp, whipping around instantly.

“I’m a bug. Bzzz”, he says and jumps onto bed, flapping his arms as if he was a bug flying.

You cough out air, following it up with a loud laugh.

Jungkook flops onto his back and wiggles his limps.

“Now I’m flipped onto my back and can’t get up”, he says, squirming from side to side stupidly. “Help me. Bzzzz.”

You laugh to the point it becomes just a little ugly and way too loud. At least you would call it that. Jungkook calls it the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He loves to be goofy when it means that he can make you laugh. Some people call him childish and tell him to act his age, but Jungkook doesn’t care about these people because you love the way he is. You always smile and laugh so much when he gets goofy and childish and it is so worth every rude comment he gets. One time, he played around with a snapback hat, acting silly with it until you cackled loudly. Another time he showed you a card trick with goofy sound effects, basking in the giggles you gave him. He knows that he looks stupid in these moments, but he would literally turn into a silly jester if it meant that you could laugh just one more time.

“Help me, I’m a bug and I can’t get up”, he whines dramatically.

“Wait, I’ll help you”, you joke and place your hands on his torso. One on his chest, the other on his stomach.

He tenses up like a board of wood, forgetting all about being silly. His limbs drop, as does his heart. You are touching him! This never happened before when he acted goofy. What should he do? What is the correct reaction to this?

“Why are you such a heavy bug? I can’t flip you”, you are still being playful with him, but Jungkook can’t find humour anymore. He is starstruck. 

He chuckles deeply, letting out a breathy, “yeah.” 

You glance at him. The second your eyes meet, his heart is racing. You are so fucking beautiful. 

“Heh”, he lets out and places his hand over yours, eyes flitting to your lips unknowingly.

“Hm”, you let out, studying his gazing eyes. Your lips feel kissed just from his look. 

“Mhm”, he hums and smiles, shimmying his head just a little closer to you. He feels your minty breath swirl over his face like this, squeezing your hand in reaction. What if he just did it? What if he just kissed you right here and now?

Your smile falls.

“Sorry”, you whisper, pulling your hands back and sitting up. 

Jungkook gasps for air, coming back to reality. What was this moment? Is he going crazy? Why would he do that?

Your eyes meet for a brief second then you look away again, rubbing the side of your neck.

Jungkook sits up, “I should, uhm, probably check under the bed too, right?” he tries to change topics and rolls over to stick his head under the bed. He might die of heart palpitations.

There are a few boxes under the bed, some shoe boxes and an exposed adult toy. Jungkook does a double take. Oh god, panic.

Jungkook shoots back up, staring at you with big eyes.

“What?”

“You uhm…”

“What?” You crawl to the edge and bend down to look, shooting up again within a second, “What did you see??”

His entire face flushes, he looks to the side instantly, right hand coming to rub the side of his neck. Your entire face feels on fire, you want to die on the spot.

“I, I didn’t see anything I swear”, he stutters.

“Kook, please don’t remember this”, you insist, shaking him by his shoulders.

“It’s seriously fine”, he assures you, panicking so so much.

“This is so embarrassing.”

“No, it’s okay. Sorry for invading your space like that.”

“I’m actually gonna cry, please don’t remember this”, you beg him.

“I didn’t even see anything”, he lies, feeling his heart give up. For real, it will give up. He feels so guilty. You are so upset and uncomfortable and it’s all his fault. “I’m sorry.”

“No you, I guess, I don’t know, I just”, you stutter, unable to form any coherent sentences.

Jungkook feels just as awkward as you, suddenly needing to stand up.

“I think I should go”, he says.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s getting late.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. You fucked it. You are internally panicking, blind to the fact that Jungkook is panicking as well.

His face is so red and it’s making him scared that you can see it. He doesn’t want you to think that he is imagining you like that, because he really isn’t. But for just a second it crossed his mind and it managed to dye his face so red that he feels like crying. Of course he wants to stay with you. Of course he wants to spend every single second of this night with you, talking and laughing and looking at you, but he might not be able to get rid of this blush right now. He needs to leave.

You follow behind him, panicking more and more. You let him put on his shoes and his beanie, you watch him close his jacket unable to say anything. You swear that you always clean up after yourself, but you were busy this morning and forgot to put it away after sanitizing it. Jungkook was never supposed to see it. Not him. Everyone but him.

“I’ll text you once I’m home”, Jungkook tells you.

“You’re not disgusted now, are you?” you finally get the scary words out.

“What?”

You are both dragging out the inevitable. 

“I don’t know, just…I tried the dating app stuff. I met people, you know?”

Jungkook feels like dying when you talk about this stuff. He stands in the apartment complex hallways, looking at you as you tell him about your hook ups and he wants to fucking die as he does. He has been loyal to you ever since he started this stupid crush on you. Of course he knows that it is impossible of him to expect the same from you. But he has been so fucking loyal to you that you literally broke his heart seven months ago when you told him about your newest download. He wasn’t strong enough to get over his crush, so now he dies all over again each time you tell him about your hook-ups.

“And it just felt weird. I couldn’t do it”, you confess.

“Really?” suddenly what happened before is wiped from his mind. You never went through with it? His loyalty was reciprocated? Jungkook knows that he is being so delusional right now and yet he still hangs on to your every word like a worshipper of your syllables, staring at your lips as you talk.

“Yeah, but I still have needs, you know? Oh god, why did I say that? This didn’t make it better. Just forget I ever said anything.”

“I, I didn’t hear anything”, Jungkook stutters, feeling weak-kneed. The wall between him being a good person and a reckless person is as fragile as a sheet of fresh ice. One wrong step from you and he might actually confess how he really feels.

“Okay good, let’s keep it at that.” You push at his chest. Jungkook swears he actually whimpers as you do it. “Go home and let us forget about all of this, please.”

Should he do it? Should he be reckless?

You step back, now standing in your apartment.

Do it! Open, mouth!

“Text me once you’re home, okay?”

“Okay.”

No! This isn’t the right thing to say! Be reckless!

“Thank you for tonight, sleep tight.”

“Sweet dreams.”

Tell her! Fucking tell her!

The door closes.

Jungkook falls out of his fearful trance, gasping for air. His heart tells him to knock for another chance, his mind tells him not to. He turns and leaves, hitting his own head as punishment for being the most stupid person that ever existed. Tonight could have gone so well. He could have had more time with you, he got the confirmation that you never tried the dating app thing, he had everything and he has to ruin it by being a creep. Why did he look under your bed? That’s where most people store their sexy stuff. Why did he have to make you uncomfortable? What if you never want to see him again? What if he ruined your friendship without ever doing the one thing he always wished to ruin it with? In his dreams he always ruined it by confessing his feelings, but his reality was because he was a creep.

Jungkook cries in his car on his way home. He forgets about texting you and spends a sleepless night regretting his choices.

Maybe he did fall asleep, otherwise it would be impossible for his phone to rip him awake the next day. He barely opens his puffy eyes at first, but opens them widely when he sees that it is you calling him.

“Hello?” he picks up hastily.

“Oh thank god. You didn’t text me last night and I was worried.”

The text! Jungkook slaps his own forehead, sitting up straight.

“I’m so sorry, I…”

“It’s okay, I already had a gist that you forgot”, you assure him, “do you have time?” 

“Of course, what’s up?”

“You know, uhm.” You laugh in embarrassment. “Last night was a mess, wasn’t it?”

“No uhm, it’s fine.”

“You wouldn’t be down for a grocery trip with barbeque and beer afterwards, would you? My treat, as an apology for traumatising you.”

“Of course, I would. Today?”

“Yes, in like two hours? I’ll get off work soon and could go straight to the store.”

You and Jungkook often go grocery shopping together. You already have a favourite store to go to. Jungkook loves these moments. He loves to carry the heavy bags for you and get the stuff you can’t reach. He loves to push the cart while you tell him about your day and then load the groceries into the bags with you. In another lifetime, you and he push the cart together and he steals kisses between aisles. In another lifetime, he holds your hand and the bags in the other. And in another lifetime, you and he go to your apartment to cook dinner for date night on the couch. Jungkook really wishes to live a different life sometimes.

“Two hours sounds great”, he agrees in a cool voice even if he wants to squeal. He gets to go grocery shopping with you! How amazing!

“Nice, then we’ll see each other there.”

“Yes, we’ll see each other. I’m really excited for it.”

“Me too. See you later, yeah? My boss is coming back.”

“See you later. Good luck at work.” 

“Thanks, Kook. Bye bye.”

Goodbye, my everything, my dream girl, my love. He thinks.

“Bye.” He says.

The phone call ends. Jungkook drops back into the pillow and lets out a yelp of celebration, following it up with excessive kicking and punching of the air as well as  squeaky giggles. 

He didn’t ruin everything and he will see you in two hours. Today is the best day of his life! But wait! Jungkook gasps and jumps out of bed.

“I need to get ready! Shower and wash my hair and pick an outfit! And do my skincare and brush my teeth! There is so much to do, oh god” he talks to himself, running through his apartment.

You are pacing in front of the store. Jungkook isn’t late, you are just early. Early enough to become painfully aware of your nervousness. You wonder how it will be between the two of you after last night. You could barely fall asleep because you were so embarrassed. Work didn’t distract you either, your thoughts kept repeating what had happened last night. You hope that he doesn’t look at you differently after what he had to see. It would literally ruin you.

Jungkook is your best friend. But if someone asked you honestly, you would say that he is the boy of your dreams. He is everything you ever dreamed of and everything you will never be able to have. He is too perfect for you. If there were no consequences for your actions, you would tell him how you really feel. You would tell him that you think that he is the most attractive man and person you have ever seen, that he is the kindest soul with the sweetest heart. That he is talented and amazing and the funniest person ever. And that you feel safe with him. 

You would tell him that every time he comes to your place or you to his’ and you spend time together, you wish that it was a date instead. You want to tell him that every time your bodies touch, your heart jumps out of your chest. You want to tell him that you keep repeating all the moments with him over and over again and that sometimes at work, you text him because you can’t stop thinking about him. You also want to tell him that you thought about killing the bug yourself before deciding to call Jungkook just to have him close.

And the worst of it all? You want to tell Jungkook that the only reason why you downloaded the dating app was to get over your feelings for him because you knew that someone as perfect as Jungkook would never want to have you. But actions have consequences and so you call him your best friend whilst secretly wishing for him to just be reckless and kiss you.

Jungkook appears on the horizon, swerving through the crowd in a stoic expression. Your heart speeds up instantly. He is wearing black pants with a stripped shirt and a black jacket today. His hair falls on soft waves, his skin glows in the sun. He is so dreamy and handsome. 

His eyes find you in front of the store, his face lights up and he lifts his arm to wave at you. You wave back, bouncing on your tiptoes. He saw you! He is waving at you! 

He hurries through the crowd faster than before, reaching you within moments.

“Hey there”, he says.

“Hey”, you tell him and give him a hug. 

Jungkook short circuits. He gets no time to react before you already step back again. You just hugged him. Holy moly, wow. 

“Sorry, was that not okay?” you ask, studying his frozen features.

“What?” He flinches back to life. “No, it was amazing, I mean, it was okay. I uhm, I have this for you.”

He lifts a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Sunflowers? For me?”

“Yeah, I saw them and thought of you.”

“You did?”

You accept them with shortened breath and a quickened heart. You are currently screeching inside. You feel on cloud nine.

“A-as a best friend of course, because we’re best friends.”

“Oh. Yes.” You clear your throat. “We are. Thank you for the friendship flowers. I’ll put them in water once I’m home. Hopefully they’ll survive till then.” 

“I’m sure they will. That’s why I put the paper towel there.”

“I know, I saw. That’s so clever.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He does a little twirl so he stands next to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants in a cute way. “So what do we need? Any particular groceries in mind?” 

You and he start walking to the store. He opens the door for you, holding it until you are inside. He follows and goes straight for the carts. You are next to him.

“Yes, I’m out of multigrain rice so I’m buying all of them to make my mixture again and I wanna stock up on udon because they have a sale going on.”

“Neat, a sale. I’ll get some too”, Jungkook says, leaning his elbows on the cart as he pushes it. “I wanna see if they have the lychees again. They were so yummy last time.”

“They were. Especially with that sauce you made.”

“I can make them for you again.”

“Really?” 

He nods his head, “sure, you could come over Saturday and we’ll watch a movie. I heard that there’s a few new movies to stream.”

“I should be free on Saturday.”

“Nice, then you’ll come over.”

You and he exchange a look, breaking it quickly to look at opposite sides. Unbeknownst to either, you are both panicking. Jungkook is so excited to have you come over but is also terribly nervous about the aspect of it. You can’t wait to visit Jungkook but are also scared of the yearning. 

A moment of silence where you each fill the cart with stuff you want. You and Jungkook always fill up the cart together and then separate the groceries afterwards. In another lifetime, you don’t need to separate the groceries. In another lifetime, you share the same bag and fill the same fridge to cook from the same pots and eat on your shared couch whilst a show was running. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks because other lifetimes don’t exist and in his real life, the only shared thing he gets with you is time.

“It was okay. Yours?”

“I woke up like two hours ago.”

You chuckle, “of course you sleep while I have to work my ass off.”

“Hey, I’m on a well-deserved break, I earned the night owl lifestyle”, he throws back, making you laugh with it.

“I’m not saying anything against it. I need a break soon.”

“Is work stressful?”

“Yeah, quite. There’s been lots of new projects coming in.”

“No, I’m sorry. If there is something I can do, let me know.”

You look at him. 

“I will, thank you.”

In another lifetime, you would hug his arm and rest your head against it and you would tell him that you don’t mind a stressful workday when it meant spending time with him afterwards. 

Jungkook meets your eyes. His heart flutters nervously, speeding up more when you look away. If he was your boyfriend, he would hold your hand and tell you that you looked beautiful after a long work day. 

“I like the way you did your hair today”, he says instinctively. He has no idea why he said that because he never says stuff like that to you. He panics because of it. His tongue worked quicker than his brain. 

You reach up to feel your hair, “you do?”

“Yes, it fits you really well.” 

“Thank you”, you murmur and cross a corner without warning, leaving him alone for a few seconds.

Jungkook follows after you hastily, confused as to why you so abruptly fled. Oh no. He went too far with the compliment. He definitely creeped you out again. 

You are squatting down in front of the grain section, reading the labels carefully. Jungkook parks the cart next to you, standing still. He tries not to, but still looks at you. You shift your eyes to him, widen them and look away again. Jungkook swears he might cry. He made you uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry for saying that. I, I meant it as a friend.”

“Hm? Ah, it’s okay. Thank you for saying it, I liked it”, you say and stand up, filling the cart with the grain. Jungkook’s heart flutters happily. He didn’t mess up. Yay!

“Got everything you wanted?” he asks.

“Yep, except black rice. Do you see it somewhere?”

“Up there”, Jungkook says, pointing at it. The lower racks are empty, only the racks which are clearly for staff to reach so they could refill the store are stacked with the rice. 

“Nice.” You try to reach it, but fail. “Kook, can you get it?”

“Sure, let me”, he says, stepping right behind you to get the rice from the staff rack. His chest brushes against your back. You gasp. He feels dizzy, but acts nonchalant.

“There we go your….rice”, Jungkook says, eyes flitting down to you looking up at him. He didn’t even realise that you turned. 

There is almost no distance and so Jungkook tries to step back to be respectful because friends don’t stand this close. You grab him by his jacket, making him gulp and panic greatly. His left hand grabs the edge of the shelf, his chest lifts in a deep gasp. You are taller today because of the shoes you are wearing. The shortened distance between your lips is making him dizzy.

“About last night”, you begin, but he interrupts you before you apologise for something you have no reason to.

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have snooped, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t snoop, I just…I clean up, I was just busy and forgot and I”, you exhales deeply, “I’m not making it any better talking by about it, am I?”

He laughs softly and reaches down to cup your hand, caressing your knuckles softly. The lines blur more and more. You both feel weightless. You can smell his cologne like this, he can smell your perfume. It’s like you are high on each other.

“If it makes you feel any better, I have some toys too”, he says, making your eyes widen. You look to the side and let out a giggle. Jungkook knows that it is of shy nature and so he giggles with you. “Did that help or did I just embarrass myself for nothing?”

“No, it helped.” You meet his eyes, fingers squeezing his jacket. 

Jungkook holds his breath, fingers tightening on the shelf. He is being so greedy. It’s so unfair to you. 

“I, uhm.” He clears his throat and slips his hand from the shelf to present the rice to you. “Your rice.”

“Oh? Thanks, uhm, put it in the cart.” 

He steps back. Your hands slip from his jacket, his fingers stop holding you. They tingle in the memory of how it was to cradle you this way. His thoughts are racing, trying to calculate the weight of his confession. If he confessed, what would he lose? Your friendship, your time, the movie hangouts, the cooking together, the shared workouts, your texts and calls and video chats. All your laughter and smiles and giggles. Jungkook gulps. The loss is too great. He can’t confess. Nope, never. 

He grips the cart and pushes it, hoping that walking it off will help with the heart palpitations. You walk next to him, resting your hand on the metal cage part of the cart.

“Did you sleep well last night?” he asks you.

“Can I be honest? Not really. I was so embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just awkward.”

He chuckles, you chuckle with him. You give him a glance.

“I think I don’t have to ask you if you slept well at night because you never sleep at night.”

He laughs, you do as well.

“That’s not true. I can sleep at night too, I simply choose not to. Oh wait. I need buckwheat noodles.”

You and he stop in front of the section. You stay by the cart while Jungkook browses the options. 

“Should I make you makguksu?” he offers mindlessly.

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t wanna go for barbecue and beer?” You chuckle and nudge his arm, sending tingles all over his skin. “Did you already forget again, you doofus?”

“I might have.” He gives you a sorry, cute smile.

Jungkook makes you laugh with it.

“Kook, you little scatterbrain you”, you chuckle, leaning into him. 

Jungkook leans closer, placing his arm around your waist without touching you. In another lifetime, he would close the last distance. But not in reality. He looks at your lips, asking himself why you seek him out today and why he takes the chances so greedily. He shouldn’t do that. You are just friends, nothing more.

“Uh, sorry”, you say and step away again. 

Jungkook gulps, gasps for air. He doesn’t understand what today means, but whatever you are doing is actually messing with him. He hasn’t been able to breathe properly ever since that hug you gave him. You seem so clingy, but he doesn’t understand why. 

You grab the cart and push it.

“I think I have everything I need. You?”

“Yeah, yeah sure”, Jungkook stutters, stumbling after you like a lovesick puppy. He doesn’t know where to put his hands and so he ends up stuffing them into his pants pockets while his eyes are glued to the back of your head. He is seriously under your spell. Every part of him.

You load the groceries on the conveyor belt together and then load them into separate bags. You pay for all of them and wish the cashier a good day. Jungkook carries the bags like always, while you are allowed to walk freely with the bouquet of flowers cradled in your arms.

“I’ll pay you back at home”, he says, swerving outside as you hold the door open for him.

“Today’s on me. As a thank you for yesterday and an apology.”

“What? But I bought so much”, Jungkook gasps, pouting sadly.

“It’s fine. I have money.”

“But-”

“No buts. I’m paying.”

Jungkook pouts, huffing out air in defeat.

“Fine, but I’ll pay for your stuff too one day.”

You chuckle, “deal.” 

You and he walk together.

“You should really start accepting when I offer. It’s not a competition.”

“I just feel uncomfortable making you pay.”

“Why?”

Because you’re his dream girl and you should never have to pay for him. He should be your wallet whenever you are out together, he should fulfil your every wish. 

“I don’t know, just so. You work so hard for your money.”

“You work just as hard”, you say and chuckle. “Kook, you’re so competitive.”

Jungkook smiles, shaking his head in defeat. 

“I guess am.”

You grin, hugging the flowers tighter. With a little skip in your steps, you close the distance. Just enough that one small movement would be enough for your arms to brush. 

Jungkook glances at you. You are gazing at the flowers, smiling so brightly that your nose scrunches up. He could swear that your eyes are sparkling. 

The lines blur again. He wonders if it would be okay for him to be a bad person, if he was allowed to slip his hand into yours even if you never gave him consent for it. There is not much he can still take.

You lower your nose into the flowers and smell them, closing your eyes in a happy squint. The metaphorical glass of how much Jungkook can take floats over.

He says your name and knows that the next words are coming out of him before he can think them through.

“Yeah?” You look at him.

He is nervous and scared, but still talks, “can we talk about something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Panic. His situation finally sunk into his consciousness. 

“I uhm…uh…I have a crush on someone.”

Microexpressions wash over your face. Shock, surprise, disbelief, jealousy, hurt, friendliness. A smile curls your lips. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah? It’s about time you do”, the words and your voice carry a hint of teasing, but most of all forced friendliness.

You lower the flowers, carrying them in one hand by your side. They look sad like this. Jungkook doesn’t notice because he is staring at the road in front of him because otherwise he would pass out in nervousness. He is almost twenty seven, but feels sixteen again.

“She’s like really, really great and awesome and amazing and wonderful and so kind and perfect”, Jungkook continues, heart racing to the point he feels dizzy. He saw this kind of confession in movies. He always thought that it was so cute when the guy did it. It isn’t obvious enough to ruin everything just in case you didn’t feel the same, but it is still cute enough that you can’t help but be giddy.

“Mh-hm”, you hum, nodding your head. 

“And I keep thinking about her. She is so pretty when she laughs and I love being in her presence. She likes my jokes and she always makes me laugh in return. Yeah…”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah, she is so great. I really wanna ask if she feels the same.” Jungkook falters in nervousness. He is going to ask the question. He is so scared. “If you were me, what would you do?”

You take a deep breath and release it loudly, “I don’t know. I haven’t had a crush in so long.”

Jungkook falters, heart tightening. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh. This is bad. This is really bad. 

“Ah, I see.” He gulps.

“But let me know if you figure it out. Then we can go on a double date.” 

Wait. Wait. This is bad. Double date? This is so bad.

“What do you mean?” he asks weakly.

“You know, you and your girl and me and my boy.”

“You have a boy?”

“Yeah, soon. I’m talking to this boy on the dating app. He is very cute.”

“But…didn’t you say that you gave up on the app?”

“No uh…no, it’s just that I only talk to this one boy now.”

Jungkook bites back tears.

“I see.” 

“Mhm, yeah. Let’s go on a double date.”

No. No this is all wrong. No this isn’t what was meant to happen. No. 

“Please.”

Jungkook doesn’t even realize that he begged out loud until you look at him in question.

“Please what?”

You and he stop. Strangers stream past you like you and he were two rocks in a river. You are facing each other, so close yet so far away. 

You lied to him. There is no other boy. There never was and never will be. But there will always be other girls for him while you stay his best friend. Lying is all that you have at this point. 

“Please what?” you repeat the question.

“I…” Jungkook breathes. “I…nevermind.”

Silence. Your eyes are locked so deeply that the world around you is blurry.

“Okay?”

“Mhm yeah.”

His jaw tightens and he breaks the eye contact, looking to the side with his tongue in his cheek. He seemed angry. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t feeling angry yourself. You turn away from him and continue walking. You don’t want to be next to him right now. It hurts to only stay his best friend.

He looks at the back of your head and how it becomes smaller and smaller from distance. He doesn’t understand you. He thought that the way you looked at him in the store meant something. And yet all this time you had another boy. He feels so betrayed that for just a second, he considers walking the other direction and leaving you to wonder where he went. However, two things hold him back; his competitiveness and his honest feelings for you.

He won’t stay your best friend any longer. He just decided that. He is going to fight for you, make you fall for him and forget all about the stupid boys you meet on this stupid dating app. He is better than any of them. He could treat you better, make you laugh harder, give you better hugs and kisses and provide you with afterglow so addicting you will get hot cheeks at work just thinking about it. He is your best friend, goddamn it, and he knows you better than any of these strangers ever will. And he is not going to lose you to some boy.

He jogs to catch up with you, calling your name with a certain harshness.

You turn. Your eyes meet. Jungkook’s brain short circuits.

“What?” you ask him, sounding small because of being called so harshly.

“I, I was just wondering, uhm, should we get ice cream after?” he asks because he panicked.

You shrug your shoulders, “I guess.”

“It’s on me, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jungkook inches closer, saying your name softly.

“What do you want?”

“I messed up before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I, I just. I thought that I was doing a good job, but I think I made you think something else.”

“Jungkook. I had a long day, please don’t talk in riddles.”

“Don’t date other boys.”

“Excuse me?”

Jungkook gulps, panicking because of your offended and harsh tone.

“I, I, I just”, he stutters, widening his eyes.

“No. What do you mean? I can date who I want.”

“I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, oh god, I meant that I don’t want you to see other boys.”

“Huh?”

“Ah no, wait.”  He slaps his own forehead. “Wait.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, “what makes you think that you can tell me what I can or can’t do?”

“No I didn’t mean it like that. Wait just give me a moment, please I’m panicking.”

You purse your lips, studying his face intensely.

“Are you also so nervous?” he asks.

“What’s with you all of a sudden?” you ask him, honestly worried. His face is as red as ripe strawberries.

Jungkook closes the distance and takes your hands, eliciting a gasp from you. He squeezes them gently, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible.

“This wasn’t how I always imagined this to go, but I can’t stay quiet anymore. ___, the girl I have a crush on is-”

“Seriously?”

You and Jungkook turn around at the angry voice next to you.  

“Suho? What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Who’s that?” Jungkook says.

“Kim Suho. I met him on the dating app. We went on like one date a month ago”, you explain and slip your hands out of Jungkook’s hold to turn to the other guy, “what are you doing here?”

Jungkook stares at him darkly, clenching his jaw. You told him about this dude in passing. He hates him so much, hating him even more now that he interrupted this moment.

“That’s what you’re going with? Seriously?” Suho throws back.

“Yeah, you-”

“What the fuck are you doing with him? I told you to stop being friends with him, didn’t I?”

Jungkook looks at you with big eyes. You never told him that. You always said that you lost interest in Suho because of different hobbies, but never mentioned that he could have been the actual reason.

“And I told you that you can’t tell me what to do. Jungkook is my best friend and I won’t give him up for a man.”

“Yes but I wasn’t any man, I was your man.”

“Huh? No you weren’t. We went on one date and you totally lost it when I told you that I had a male best friend.”

“Because he isn’t just your friend. You’re in love with him.”

Jungkook swears that he passes out standing up for a second. Feelings? You have feelings for him? Did you tell Suho that or is he assuming because he is one of those weird men that think women aren’t allowed to have male friends? What does all of this mean?

“What?” You laugh nervously. “No? Of course not.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I followed you from work and through the store. I saw everything.”

“Huh? What?” you gasp, hurrying to Jungkook instinctively because you know that he will keep you safe.

“Dude, what the fuck? You creep, stay away from her”, Jungkook says harshly and steps in front of you, feeling the fire of protectiveness start to burn in his chest.

“I saw what I saw. You have feelings for each other”, Suho says, pointing an accusing finger at you and Jungkook.

Jungkook and you exchange a look. 

“No I…”

Suho scoffs and looks at Jungkook.

“And you? Gonna fucking pretend that you’re just friends or should I start punching you?”

“Dude, I’ve never even met you”, Jungkook defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I’ll still fucking punch you.”

“Don’t you dare”, you hiss at him.

��Shut up, ___.”

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”, Jungkook speaks up loudly, making himself bigger. He doesn’t care when people are aggressive to him, but he cannot accept aggression towards you.

“Or what?”

“You wanna find out? Don’t talk to her like that.”

Suho rushes to Jungkook and pushes at his chest. He thought that he could move him, but he can’t. Jungkook just gawks at him in utter surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asks confused.

“Why aren’t you budging? Fall over you idiot”, Suho growls and tries again with all his might. 

Jungkook takes a small step back but then stays unmoving. 

“Dude, seriously. What are you doing?”

Suho growls and punches Jungkook. Except that he is so bad at it that Jungkook can easily dodge him. He reacts calmly to the aggression, redirecting Suho by turning him and giving him a gentle push away from him.

Suho stumbles and whips around.

“You-”

Jungkook steps closer, “give it up, man.”

Suho shifts his attention to you, pointing his finger at you. He tries to get to you by swerving past Jungkook, but the latter steps in front of you again, stopping Suho with a firm hand on his chest. He didn’t show it, but the contact was definitely made with strength because Suho stumbles back from it.

“I said. Give it up. I’m not gonna repeat myself again”, he warns. For just a second his voice was deeper than usual and his eyes darker. You can’t stop staring in awe, feeling so attracted to him that it is difficult not to grab him right here and now.

Suho ignores him, talking over Jungkook’s shoulder.

“It’s over. I’m breaking up with you.”

“Huh? We weren’t even together in the first place?” you say very confused.

“Yes, well…. Now it’s really over. And just so you know, I’ll block you on everything.”

“I mean, okay.”

Suho turns and runs down the street clumsily.

A moment of silence. Jungkook turns to you. He is ready to take you into his arms if you need support.

“Everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.

“Honestly? I couldn’t care less about this tantrum. What the fuck was that? We went on one date and it sucked ass. I mean, who in their right mind expects someone to give up their best friend? I don’t even know this dude.”

“Would you have done it if you liked him?”

“What? No, of course not. I like you, not him.”

“What?!”

You look at Jungkook with big eyes.

“I, I mean…” you look at his lips and Jungkook finally notices.

Holy fuck. Suho was right.

He drops the grocery bags and closes the distance, cupping your face. To his delighted surprise, you practically melt into his hands, gazing at him with dreamy eyes and your fingers closing around his wrists greedily.

“Was he right?” Jungkook asks, looking between your right and left eye. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I’m scared”, you whisper.

“Scared of what?”

“You are so perfect and I’m not. I don’t want to know how you feel about me, so just…let’s just forget about what happened please.”

“You’re not perfect? What the fuck? You’re literally perfect. If someone’s unworthy, it’s me.”

“What?”

Jungkook gulps. 

You touch his chest.

“Kook, what?”

“You’re my fucking dream girl, ___” he finally confesses and now can’t be stopped, “I get excited when you text me and get sad when I don’t hear from you. Each time we hang out, I kinda wish that we somehow magically end up together. I repeat every little touch and shared laughter and look. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because of you, but wish to do so because in my sleep I can meet you in my silly, wishful dreams. Do you have any idea how in love I am with you?”

“Are you serious?” 

Jungkook nods his head, forcing your tears to finally flow. He gasps and begins wiping them away instantly.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry, I promise I won’t try anything. You, you won’t lose your best friend.”

“I’m just happy. So happy.”

“You are?”

“I feel the same for you. I have done so for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” You sniffle. “You’re my dream boy too, Jungkook.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Yippie!” he exclaims and overtaken by happiness, he swoops you off your feet to twirl with you, making you squeal happily as you hold onto him for dear life. Strangers definitely look at you weird, but you couldn’t care less. They are non-existent for you and him. He likes you and you like him back. This day is the best day you and he ever had.

He sets you down after the twirling, cradling your face so he could hold it still for way too many kisses. He gives you kisses everywhere except your lips, making you giggle and laugh and tingle the entire time.

“I’m so happy, you’re so pretty and perfect and amazing and pretty and amazing and I’m gonna kiss you there and there and there and oh my god you’re so perfect, I’m gonna kiss you there and there, wow oh wow…” he babbles between kisses, truly sending your heart into overdrive.

He probably would have continued his babbling for hours if you hadn’t stopped him by lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth into a kiss.

“Andmhgmh”, he lets out, gawking at you first before the realisation of his situation sinks in. His knees buckle, his left hand grabs your hips and his right hand cradles your head, eyes falling closed. He is kissing you. He feels weightless, floating in time and space. His heart races so much that he feels it throb against his ribcage, the butterflies in his stomach are unbearably exciting. He dreamt of this moment a million times before, fantasised about it twice as much and yet he still wasn’t ready for it. Your kiss is like heaven on earth. He swears that he gains new life through it. He wants to kiss you until his lungs run out of air, but you break it.

“Was that okay for me to do?” you ask him shyly.

Now it’s his turn to spill tears and for you to wipe them.

“I’m sorry, I should have ask-”, you don’t get to finish your sentence, getting kissed again by Jungkook.

“I’m so fucking happy, you have no idea”, he murmurs, showing you his feelings one deep kiss at a time. “You taste so good.” Kiss, oh so deep. “Your lips are so soft.” Kiss, the kind which makes your knees wobble. “You’re perfect, you’re so perfect.”

You giggle, gazing up at him droopily. Jungkook giggles as well, peeling his eyes open to gaze dreamily. You and he cup each other’s faces, resting your foreheads together.

“I’m happy.”

“I’m happy too.”

“Wow, I’m so happy.”

“Me too. So happy.”

You giggle together, swaying from side to side. Nothing, truly nothing, has never felt as right as this.

“Were you trying to confess to me before Suho interrupted us?”

“Yeah.”

You giggle as you talk, “you were really shit at it. I thought you were talking about someone else.”

“I know, I panicked so bad. I was so nervous”, he is giggling too, “are you actually talking to another boy?”

“Of course not, you doofus. I lied.”

“Oh my god, I’m so relieved”, he gets out and sweeps you off your feet again, carrying you under your butt. He twirls with you, smiling up at you as you squeak and laugh with your head thrown back.

“Jungkook stop please, I’m getting dizzy.”

He sets you down, but keeps touching you, seeking your closeness by rubbing his nose against your cheek. He is so close that the sunflowers are getting squished between you and him. It is a price you sadly have to pay in exchange for finally being able to be glued together.

“I’m so happy, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Kook. So like barbeque and beer? Is it a date?” you ask.

“It’s the datiest date that has ever dated”, he says, making you giggle because he is so cute and funny and you like him so, so much. He giggles with you because you are so perfect and perfect and perfect and he likes you so, so much.

“I feel like we have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, oh god.” He kisses your cheek multiple times. “You have to tell me all the thoughts you had when we hung out. Were you also so giddy, oh god, I was always so giddy and I kept looking at you because you are so pretty. Were you looking at me too? And, and did you also wish for me to be reckless? I always wanted you to just kiss me. I’m talking so much, wow, I’m so happy.”

You giggle, cuddling into him, “you’re the cutest person ever. I can’t wait to tell you everything.”

You nudge him to leave, but stop when Jungkook exclaims a loud “wait!”

“What’s wrong?”

“The groceries. I almost left them here”, he says, bending down to get them.

“Oh god, you’re so cute”, you snicker, hugging his arm and nuzzling into him like you always wanted to do.

[captainremmington-13]

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊

show!Luke Castellan x daughter of thanatos!reader

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the image above or any of Rick Riordan’s characters/world-building. I DO own my OC, Julian Arroco.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: swearing, verbal harassment, mentions of insecurities and abandonment, daddy issues, crying

A/N: IM BACK AND OFF MY HIATUS🥳🥳🥳

“Hey! Emo girl!”

You instantly felt your cheeks turn red. He wouldn’t leave you alone.

Instead of giving him the reaction he wanted, you continued walking towards the Big House. You had been summoned there by Chiron (who had sent Luke to convey the message), and didn’t want to be late.  

Though, if Julian Arroco kept hollering at you the way he had since he’d arrived at camp two days prior, you would be very late. It would take a significant amount of time to kill him and find Luke so he could help you hide the body. 

As you approached the large wooden building, you placed your right hand on the hilt of your weapon. If another word escaped his idiotic mouth, you would ensure he ended up in the infirmary. 

Just as your left boot made contact with the first step, you felt a rough, large hand grab your forearm.

“Don’t do this,” you warned, your tone almost disappointed, as if you were scolding a young child.

“Relax,” Julian said with a cocky grin. “Just wanna ask you a couple questions.”

You sneered at him, reveling in the slight fear that appeared in the son of Aphrodite’s eyes.  “Sure you do. Now get lost.”

“I’m not afraid of you, emo girl-“

“I have a name-“

“You don’t scare me at all,” Julian continued, completely ignoring you. “Everyone thinks you’re intimidating, but you really aren’t. I bet you’re all soft and pathetic on the inside, hm? Seems like it doesn’t take much to get under your skin.”

Tugging your arm out of his disgusting grasp, your wings appeared, giving you a larger, more terrifying silhouette. Julian backed away, his muscular, conventionally attractive body cowering before you. 

You gave him a twisted smile. “You’re right, Julian. I am very easily provoked, and having brainless idiots follow me around and harass me all day really gets on my nerves. And I’m sure that you’ve heard the rumors about my “weird, horrifying death powers”. You don’t want to find out if they’re true, do you?” 

“N-No.”

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. Now leave me alone, or I’ll tell Luke to target you during the next round of Capture the Flag.”

“Of course,” Julian scoffed. “You’ll go running for your man to protect you. Just like a girl-“

His lips froze mid-sentence when you raised your hand, the tips of your fingers pointing towards his throat. 

“I don’t know everything you’ve heard about me,” you began slowly. “But if you’re really that interested in my life, let me start with this: yes, I can kill without even laying hands on my opponent. Want a demonstration?“

“Please,” Julian whimpered. “I’m sorry, I swear by the gods that I’ll leave you be.”

You tilted your head. You briefly debated the benefits and consequences of hurting him, and decided that it was worth it.

But before you could act on your decision, you heard the doors of the Big House open behind you. 

“What’s going on here?” Chiron’s tone was apprehensive, yet it lacked any fear. After living for thousands of years, he had seen much more terrifying sights.

“She just started attacking me, sir-“

“That’s bullshit,” you snapped. “You’ve been harassing me ever since you crossed the camp border.” 

“Enough,” Chiron said firmly. “Julian, go back to the dining pavilion where the rest of your siblings are. I have an important matter to discuss with this young lady here, who you should not be treating so disrespectfully.”

Julian gave you a scathing look, but turned on his heel and walked away, his fists clenched at his sides.

Chiron looked down at you, his face softening ever-so slightly.

“Come, my child,” he said ominously, beckoning for you to follow him inside. “We must get this conversation started before you miss too many activities.”

.

.

.

You left the Big House even more angry than you entered it.

Out of all the things you expected the conversation to be about, “trying to blend in better with the other campers” hadn’t even entered your mind.

You’d tried so hard for years to fit in. To become a normal demigod (or as normal as a demigod could be, anyway) and get along well enough with those around you. It became much harder to do so after returning from the quest, but you still put effort into being at least agreeable. And it seemed like most people didn’t mind you, despite your darker demeanor and closed-off nature. 

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Some campers had been genuinely disturbed by you of late. And though it wasn’t your fault in the slightest, you were being forced to change.

It simply wasn’t fair.

And even worse, you held none of the blame. Your father was responsible for it.

But because he was a god, he’d never face the consequences.

With every step you took, the grass and flowers withered and turned grey around your feet. You didn’t care that other people were staring. 

You just wanted to find your boyfriend.

You spotted him sitting on a stone bench with Chris, chatting casually. As soon as he looked up and saw you, his relaxed posture stiffened. He stood up and walked towards you briskly, instantly placing a hand on your shoulder.

“What’s wrong, angel?”

“We need to go somewhere more private,” you hissed. “Or I’m going to scare everyone else.”

Luke’s brow furrowed with confusion, but he didn’t question you. You practically dragged him towards Cabin 11, not even bothering to see who was watching.

Once you’d reached the clearing behind the Hermes cabin, you told Luke everything. How Chiron had stopped you from hurting Julian, and what he’d said once you were in his office. The longer you talked about it, the angrier you got. 

“That makes no fucking sense,” Luke said, bewildered. “You’ve been here basically your entire life, and he’s just now trying to force you to conform because it’s bothering a couple of cowardly half-bloods?” 

You nodded stiffly, trying not to show that it was getting to you. You didn’t want to place that burden on him, not after everything else he’d been through of late.

But the tears sprung to your eyes anyway. 

Luke sighed, pulling you into his arms instantly. 

“Hey, listen to me,” he said. “You haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t need to change, even though someone’s trying to force you to. If people are bothered by your existence, well, that’s their fuckin’ problem.”

“Everyone was fine until we came back from our quest,” you lamented. “Sure, I understand why my abilities may be off-putting, but I’m not trying to hurt anyone by just existing! Why don’t they understand that?” 

“Because they’re idiots,” Luke answered. “They judge you before they get familiar with you, which is unfair. But those who do know you well love you.” 

You sniffled, clinging to him like a vice. “But if I don’t change, people are going to keep complaining Chiron, and-“

“Don’t pay any attention to them. It’s not worth it,” he said firmly. 

With a sigh, you nodded slightly. “I know, I know…I just get so angry when people bother me for no apparent reason. It makes me want to leave this place, even though I know the outside world is so much more dangerous.”

Luke went silent for a moment. 

“Maybe one day, we’ll find a life for ourselves far away from here,” he began, running his fingers through your hair soothingly. “Forget about who our parents are, and spend the rest of our days living like mortals.”

“We’d be hunted constantly,” you pointed out bitterly. “I attract too many monsters. We’d never live a peaceful, domestic life.”

“Let’s not focus on the hypotheticals then,” Luke said. “Let’s focus on what we can do to help you right now. Don’t listen to anything that Chiron said, okay? He thinks that trying to be more like the others will make you happier, but he doesn’t know you like I do. Forcing yourself to be someone else will only make you feel more miserable. And remember, you have good friends who love you for the way you are, like Annabeth and Chris. And, of course, you have me.”

You gave him a small smile. “Okay.” 

Luke took your hand. “Good. Now, let’s go get something to eat.“

With that, you and Luke walked to the dining pavilion hand-in-hand. You were still slightly upset, but for now, you were going to try to let it go. 

Howrver, you couldn’t help but start to plot revenge against Julian Arroco. 

Little did you know that both of you had revenge running across your minds. 

________________________________________________

Wringing out your hair with a towel, you internally lamented about the humidity in the air. The gods were able to manipulate the weather within the camp borders in order to maintain the ideal temperature, but it never felt quite right to you. Perhaps it was because your body temperature was unusually low. You’d always assumed it was an inherited trait from your father.

And you never wanted to meet him, so you were content with never confirming it.

Carefully folding up your towel, you slid on your  sandals and exited the bathroom. You had always hated sharing showers with the other campers. It felt like a huge intrusion on your privacy, and the water was often lukewarm, leading to a less-than-enjoyable experience.

The outside world may invite monsters to kill you at every waking moment, but at least it had decent showers.

Ever since Luke had planted the idea of leaving camp for good in your head earlier, it had been the sole focus of your thoughts. What would life be like with him outside of Camp Half-Blood? Would you be able to find some resemblance of a normal life and escape the stigma that surrounded you? Or would you endure different kinds of prejudice, and never truly feel safe in public? 

You knew it was useless thinking about it so profoundly. Realistically, you knew wouldn’t be leaving camp any time soon.

But that did nothing to stop you from fantasizing. 

.

.

.

You and Luke fell asleep almost instantly that night, ready for a full night of rest. 

But while Luke slumbered soundly, his head resting on your chest, you were wide awake. 

Though your body was exhausted, your mind wouldn’t stop racing. You’d never been so tempted to pack up your things and leave camp forever. But you wouldn’t ever just abandon Luke like that. After being abandoned and neglected by his father, you knew that it would destroy him.

The only solution would be for him to come with you.

And you weren’t sure that he would want to. He wouldn’t want to leave behind his siblings, or Annabeth. Nor would he enjoy being homeless again, like he was for five years of his childhood. 

So you would stay at camp. For Luke. Because you couldn’t imagine life without him. 

Closing your eyes, you let out a heavy sigh. Worrying about this was futile. You needed rest, desperately. 

You allowed your muscles to relax, and your limbs suddenly felt like lead.

You were teetering on the edge of sleep when Luke jolted violently in your arms, and sat up abruptly. 

His eyes were frantic, and they were brimming with frightened tears. When his pupils met yours, you knew that something was incredibly wrong.

“Hey,” you whispered soothingly. “I’m here, Luke. It was just a dream, you’re okay.” 

Luke shook his head vehemently. 

“I-It wasn’t. Someone…Someone spoke to me.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Was it your father bothering you again? I swear, I’ll march up to Olympus and tell him to-“

“It wasn’t him,” Luke cut you off. His breath was shaky, so you took his hand in an attempt to calm him.

“Who was it then? Zeus? Hades? The Fates?”

He shook his head again.

“Please,” you begged. “Please tell me. I can’t help you if you hide it from me.”

There was a heart-wrenching pause. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Luke spoke.

“It was Kronos, King of the Titans.”

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[livingdreams97]

Sarah Cameron -- "The Ice Cream" (Part 2)

Sarah Cameron x Male reader/oc

Summary: Being the Kook Princess has never mattered to Sarah, especially when her heart beats and her eyes are only been fixed on a certain Pogue since she shared an ice cream with him at the age of 11.

Words: 4.291

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Masterlist

POV You

I quickly put all the clothes possible into my backpack, after having written a letter to my grandparents where I explain everything that had happened this month and the reason for my departure. 

I close the backpack with my clothes in it, leaving the letter on the middle of my bed and taking one last look at my room.

With a deep breath, I leave my room through the window and get on my bike heading to the hangar where we have to met. JJ has a phanton in that hangar and we'll use that ship to escape the Outer Banks.

The summer had gone wrong in unimaginable ways. At the time I said that looking for gold was not a good idea, that it would bring us problems and that we would end up getting into trouble. But no one paid attention to me, the only one who listened to me was Kiara and the rest just said that nothing could happen.

Well, guess who was right and who is in serious trouble. Yes, as you imagined: us. It all started when my friend John B wanted to find out where his father was and prove that he was still alive. That led us to the Royal Merchant, which was the ship John B's father was looking for and the gold that was inside the ship.

We took a gamble several times to find the boat, but when we found it; The gold was gone and the dream of a better life disappeared with the tide. 

Kiara, Pope and I accepted it, but JJ and John B didn't want to accept it. So JB continued investigating and realized that the gold never sank with the ship; but Denmarck Tanny took it before the sinking.

He appeared overnight on the island and paid for everything with the Royal Merchant's gold. It turns out that before he was murdered, he hid the gold somewhere on his land and left a hidden message to his son about where it was. Message that JB with the help of Sarah discovered and we found out where it was.

And it was nothing more and nothing less than the house of the ax murderer. I wasn't sure if she murdered her husband with an axe or not, but people talk and sometimes they get it right.

Shortening everything; we found the gold. It turns out that in her basement there was a well and halfway down the well there was a hole. It is like the rabbit hole, when you enter you find unimaginable riches.

But before we could get the gold, Ward beat us to it and didn't leave a single ounce behind. But the worst is not that. When he tried to get the gold off the island, he ended up kidnapping Sarah and me; since we were together at that time. 

JB tried to stop him and let's just say that Rafe ended up killing Sheriff Peterkin while she was arresting Ward; his father.

They blamed JB, since I was half unconscious and the man wouldn't be able to blame his own daughter for a murder. Besides, in this way, he got rid of John B and so he couldn't say that Ward killed his father.

The rest is history and now we find ourselves on the run. Ward had made it clear that he would kill JB no matter what and I'm sure he's even capable of killing me too. 

So we had decided to flee the island, John B, Sarah and I to be safe. But everything was failing, I didn't know where John or Sarah were; whether they have reached the hangar or not.

My concern grows by the moment, knowing that JB could have been arrested and Ward could have kidnapped Sarah again. And this time I wasn't with her.

Y/n: What the fuck!- I exclaimed after having entered the hangar and finding Barry unconscious on the floor; and Pope choking Rafe with a rope or something.

JJ: That's it, Pope, you're killing him.- he says quickly; trying to get him to let go.

Kiara: Pope, stop it. - She screams scared next to our friend.

I quickly run over to the boys and gently kick Pope behind the knee. His knee gives out quickly, destabilizing him a bit and giving me time to grab him from behind and pull him away from Rafe.

Y/n: What the hell is on your mind, huh? - I asked him annoyed, pushing him aside and separating him from Sarah's brother.

JJ: Y/n, this is not the time.- he tells me somewhat scared.

Y/n: No, it is JJ.- I assure yhim, looking at him for a few moments. -What the hell were you thinking of doing, huh? Choke him and kill him? Don't you think we already have enough shit on us? - I ask him upset; looking at him like he was crazy.

Pope: I don't...- he starts but stops talking.

Y/n: You don't what? You weren't thinking, That's what's happening.- i growl, looking at Rafe and Barry on the floor. -Have the others arrived?- I ask Kiara and JJ.

Kiara: Not yet, we were about to take the boat into the water and wait for you. - She answers a little calmer.

Y/n: Well, come on, we don't have all day and the storm is getting closer and closer. - I say, approaching the boat and helping to take it out to the pier.

Kiara: JJ, are you sure this is going to work? - she asks a little unsure, while we put the boat in the water and it begins to float on its own.

JJ: It may be 40 years old, but it is the fastest and most reliable boat we can get right now. - He answers, placing some bags inside the boat. -We think there is enough food for the three of us.- he tells me with a grimace; pointing at the bags with his head.

Kiara: We have taken as much as possible from my parents' restaurant,.- she explains with a sigh. -How much longer are they going to take?- she asks after a few minutes.

Pope: Give them time, they will come.- he answers seriously and a little calmer.

But as soon as he finishes speaking, we hear police sirens approaching and we see one of the patrol cars approaching. The four of us quickly became alert, preparing for the worst and to run away as quickly as possible. But we all relax when John B gets out of the car.

Kiara: Excuse me? - confusedly questions.

Y/n: Damn.- I exclaim frustrated, since we have to go and he can't think of a better idea than to steal a police car.

Pope: I can't believe it- he exclaims; as we watch our friend walk towards us.

JJ: This is a joke.- he murmurs and I look at him a little amused.

John B: Shoupe let me take a walk.- he comments amusingly, a few centimeters away from us.

Kiara: Of course, because it's totally believable and for now I'm buying it. - she comments with irony and fun, approaching him and giving him a hug.

JJ: It hasn't been easy, but I brought the phantom and it runs like it was smart.- he says, throwing him the boat keys. -Are you ready?- he asks.

John B: And Sarah? - he asks and I look at him alarmed.

Y/n: Isn't she with you? - I asked worried. -You were supposed to be together.- I say, approaching him quickly.

John B: No, we separated in the marshes.- He answers me quickly. -She told me she would come.- he comments a little worried.

Pope: We haven't seen her, man.- he assures him and I feel fear run through my body.

Y/n: I'm not going to leave without her.- I assure them getting off the boat.

John B: Me neither.- He seriously supports me.

JJ: John B and Y/n, I know you guys don't like it but you have to go and as soon as possible.- he says seriously to both of us.

The idea does not cross my mind for a moment, I refuse to leave the island without her, much less leaving her in the hands of her father. I shake my head, seeing the surprise on everyone's faces and prepare a plan.

Y/n: I need the keys to your motorcycle JJ.- I tell him, stretching my hand towards him. -I'll take a quick turn and I'll be waiting for you at the long docks at the end.- I informed my friend JB; who nods in agreement.

Kiara: Y/n is crazy, you won't have time and you won't be able to leave. - she says a little worried, while I receive the keys from JJ and start walking towards the motorcycle.

Y/n: On a motorcycle you can get to the dock sooner than on a boat, I assure you, getting on the motorcycle and starting it up. I have time to take a quick look and arrive a few moments before John B to the dock.- I say, sure of myself and saying goodbye quickly to get away from my friends.

Sarah POV

I get off the paddle-surf board, getting on the grass and letting myself fall for a few moments. I don't know how long I've been in the marshes, swimming and trying to get to where we are; but I know it's a lot.

I can't be late, I promised Y/n when we parted last night that I would arrive and we could escape together. I have to keep my promise and get off this island with him. So after a few minutes of rest, I get up from the ground and start running towards where we will all met.

Ten minutes running and I feel like I'm going to faint. I'm not used to playing sports and right now it's taking a toll on me. I stop to try to breathe better and rest for a few moments. But I realize that it is too late and that the boys will have already gotten on the boat.

I think quickly, realizing that to get off the island, they have to go through the long docks at the exit of the marshes and that I might still be able to catch them.

I quickly run to the opposite side to where I was running, feeling every muscle in my body scream for me to stop and how breathing becomes increasingly difficult. But I think about Y/n, about the promise and how his eyes shine when they look at me and that is more than enough to give me energy.

I have to get there, for Y/n and for me; but mostly for Y/n. I can't imagine being without him, I've loved him since I was 11 when he dropped his ice cream and I shared mine with him. Since then I have liked him, but over time we grew apart and I found other people.

People who filled a void and space that belonged to him. A space that has been filled since the beginning of summer, by him and by that perfect kiss in his bathroom that started it all. 

I have waited a long time to be with him and now that he is my boyfriend; I'm not going to let it slip away.

With a smile on my face at the memory of my boyfriend, I run with the little energy and strength I have. In the distance I can see the entrance to the docks, causing enormous relief and hope within me. I just have to get to the dock and pray that the boys show up on the boat.

When I'm halfway along one of the docks, I see a ship approaching and I run faster to the end. I raise my arms in the air and start screaming; when I realize that John B is driving.

Sarah: John B! Y/n!- I shout with a big smile, feeling the relief come to me and I approach the edge of the pier. -Oh my god, I thought you were leaving without me.- I exclaim happily, getting on the boat and hugging John B. -Y/n?- I ask confused, when I turn around to greet him and can't find him.

John B: He's out looking for you, he's supposed to be here by now, but it's just you and not both of you.-  he answers worriedly.

Sarah: Well, let's wait for him.- I say a little scared that something has happened to him and he won't be able to arrive.

John B: We can't Sarah, we have to go now.- he tells me seriously, returning to the wheel and starting the boat.

Sarah: No! - I scream at him angrily. -We cannot leave him behind and leave without him, we still have some time.- I say fanatically, trying to get him to stop so I can wait for my boyfriend.

John B: We can't, if we don't leave now we will not be able to pass in front of the control center without being seen and there we will have a serious problem.- he explains shouting to me, so that I can hear him and understand him.

Sarah: But we can't leave him here.- I assure scared, holding onto the bar next to the helm. -My father or brother will kill him.- I comment scared.

John B: He was half unconscious, your father does not consider him a threat or he would have already reported him to the police.- he assures me; without separating his gaze from the water.

Sarah: But I can't leave him, I made him a promise and I have to keep it. - I say frustrated, feeling the first tear slide down my cheek. -Is your friend, you can't leave him here.- I remind him, feeling the emptiness inside me again.

John B: He has the pogues, he won't be alone and he knows where we are going.- It reminds me; trying to relieve myself.

Sarah: But I promised him.- I whisper with a broken voice, letting myself fall to the floor of the ship and sit with my back to the command; watching the marshes disappear.

I only see the marshes move further and further away, leaving behind a broken promise and feeling again that emptiness inside me that, thanks to Y/n, no longer existed. 

I return to where I was at the beginning of summer, empty and cold. But there is something that makes me feel worse, the promise that I am breaking and breaking my heart with it.

POV You

I don't know what happened or how it happened. The only thing I know is that something knocked me off the bike; shortly before the entrance to the docks and that I have Rafe on me. Everything has happened too quickly and I am somewhat confused by the situation.

I only feel Rafe's weight on my stomach, while his fists collide with my face repeatedly and he asks me the same thing.

Rafe: Where is Sarah? - he asks again for the seventh time, hitting my left cheekbone and making me grunt from the pain.

Y/n: I don't know, I was looking for her too.- I respond angrily, trying to get him off of me and prevent him from continuing to hit me.

Rafe: Why it is that I don't believe you, dirty pogue.- he growls annoyed, punching me two more times on the left side of my face and making me feel the blood in my mouth. -Where is Sarah?- he asks, giving me another blow.

Y/n: I swear I don't know.- I shout worried, since I'm starting to see blurry and only being able to use my left arm, becouse I can't shake him off of me.

Rafe: I'm going to try again.- he growls and hits me square in the nose; causing a shock of pain and a crack in my face followed by a scream on my part. -Where... is... my... sister... Sarah?- he asks, hitting my face hard with each word and with obvious anger.

I just blink disoriented, feeling like my body is shutting down and the pain is starting to be too much. I can assure you that the fall from the motorcycle has broken my right arm or at least dislocated my shoulder; because I can't move it without feeling like it's being ripped away from me.

My mind blurs, losing count of the punches that Rafe has given me and continues to hit me without stopping. I feel the swelling in my left eye, starting to notice how it is closing and leaving me less visibility.

Barry: Hey hey, stop stop stop or you'll end up killing him. I listen to him say it, but Rafe doesn't stop and continues hitting me.

Rafe: Answer! - He shouts in my face.

Y/n: I.II.. I do... don't ..know....- I respond in a choked manner, feeling the blood accumulate in my throat and begin to choke me.

Rafe: You are lying! - he shouts in my face again; hitting me again but with even more force.

I just stop fighting, letting my left hand fall to the ground and feeling that the pain is unbearable. But in a way, I feel like all the noise disappears and I stop feeling the pain from the blows. 

I feel a horrible cold pass through my back, wrapping around my body and making me stop feeling every extremity of it.

Tiredness invades me, my pupils feeling heavier than ever in my life and the only thing I see is Sarah. The only thing that comes to mind is her. The memory that started it all.

Flashback

My 11-year-old self leaves the town ice cream shop, with a huge smile and my mouth watering from the Brownie ice cream in my hand. My tongue takes a few licks, feeling the incredible flavor flood my taste buds and feeling the cold lower my body temperature.

But my happiness is short-lived, when I stick out my tongue to take another lick and someone accidentally bumps into me, causing me to drop the scoop of ice cream on the floor. Immediately sadness fills me, as I stare at my ice cream on the floor and feel my eyes watering.

That was my ice cream of the month and I won't be able to have another one until next month. My grandparents are not going to give me money for more and I have behaved very well. But my grandparents always say only one a month, that they don't have money and that they can't pay me more.

So I'm left watching my ice cream start to melt against the asphalt, holding back my tears and feeling completely sad.

XX: Here.- I hear a tender and small voice.

I look up from the ground, seeing a girl with pretty eyes and a pretty smile. But she's missing a tooth next to the big ones, although she still has a very pretty smile and I like that.

I notice her arm and how she is holding out a cone with white and brown ice cream to me. I look at her strangely, without really understanding what is happening and why she is offering me her ice cream. No one I know has the money to offer ice cream, especially not to a stranger.

XX: I saw that you dropped it and I thought we could share mine. - she offers with a small smile, with red cheeks and with her blonde hair moving in the wind.

It's like in those movies that grandma watches, where the wind moves the woman's hair and you can see how pretty she is. And she is very pretty, I like her little hole between her teeth and the chocolate color of her eyes; they shine a lot.

Y/n: Why? - I ask confused, looking between the ice cream and her little eyes.

XX: Because you are sad and I don't want you to be.- she answers with a little jump and a big smile.

Y/n: Don't you mind sharing it with me? - I asked hopefully, taking a step forward and getting closer to her.

XX: No, mommy told me that I have to share and that we have to be kind. - she answers me, offering me the ice cream again.

Y/n: But I'm a stranger.- I assure with a small grimace on my lips.

XX: I'm Sarah.- she introduces herself, stretching out her free hand and I offer her mine.

Y/n: I am Y/n.- I introduce myself with a smile.

Sarah: We are no longer strangers, now we can share ice cream and get to know each other. - She assures me with a big smile, making her cheeks turn redder and she looks even prettier.

Y/n: I like your eyes.- I comment, giving her ice cream a lick.

Sarah: Thank you.- she says looking at the ground for a second and looking up again. -I like yours, they are a very wow blue.- she says, nodding her head and I feel warmer than normal on my cheeks.

Y/n: Thank you.- I whisper embarrassed, looking at the ground for a few seconds and picking it up again; to watch her happily lick her ice cream.

End Flashback

I feel a tingle in the inside at that memory, knowing that that was the moment when everything started and changed my life. But the memory moves on to a more recent one, the memory from almost a week ago and the most significant of all.

Flashback

I keep my eyes closed, feeling the tranquility and peace of my room dimly lit by a lantern. One hand holds my head, to keep it a little elevated on the pillow, and the other gently caresses my girlfriend's back.

Sarah: What do you plan to do with your share of the gold? - I hear her ask me and I open my eyes to see her; stopping the movement of my hand.

Y/n: I have a few things on my mind.- I respond with a smile, seeing how she rests her chin on my chest and looks at me intently.

Sarah: What things? - She asks interested and with evident curiosity in her eyes.

Y/n: First, I'm leaving this island.- I assure her, watching her bite her delicious lip. -I would take my grandparents and give them a much better life than the one they have here.- I explain, seeing how she smiles and lets me see her perfect teeth.

Sarah: And where would you go? - she asks, moving on top of me, placing both palms of her hands on my chest and resting her chin on them.

Y/n: I don't know, somewhere quiet; in which they don't try to kill me every day and there are no pogues or kooks. - I respond with a small sigh, moving my hand again and continuing with the caresses on her back.

Sarah: And would you leave me here alone? - she asks with a playful pout and I deny amused.

Y/n: Of course not, you would come with me and we would have our own house. - I assure her smiling, seeing the pout leave her face and be replaced by a bright smile full of emotion.

Sarah: And what would our house be like? - she asks me excitedly.

Y/n: A white house, with black details, with one or two floors and with a nice porch at the entrance. - I begin to detail. -With a large garden to plant flowers and if we have children in the future we can play in it.- I explained, seeing a different shine in her eyes, unknown to me.

Sarah: Do you want to have children with me? - she asks me and an involuntary smile appears on my face.

Y/n: I want everything with you princess, I want to marry you, for us to form a family together, for us to live all the adventures possible and to grow old together like modern grandparents. - I reply amused, listening to her laughter and feeling the accelerated flutter of my heart.

Sarah: I also want to do all that with you.- she assures me, calming her laughter. -I want us to have at least three children, I don't care what they are and what they like; I just want to be happy by your side. - she comments with a small happy sigh.

Y/n: And we will be.- I assure her, moving my hand from under my head so I can caress her soft warm cheek with it.

Sarah: And I want a dog.- she says confidently, leaning on my palm and leaving a kiss on it.

Y/n: Anything you want. - i smil softly and completely in love with her; and everything she does.

Sarah: Do you promise? - she asks full of hope.

Y/n: I promise.- I answer honestly; knowing that I will do everything in my power to fulfill it.

Sarah: I love you.- she whispers, moving over my body, placing herself completely on top of me and leaving her lips a few centimeters from mine.

Y/n: I love you too, princess.- I whisper, leaning forward and joining our lips.

Our lips move calmly, letting our hands run over each other's naked body with affection and without any other intention than the knowing how much we love each other.

End Flashback

The worst of all was not the blows or the pain; but that I was going to break the promise and fail it. I would never end up fulfilling that promise and it became increasingly clear to me. The fatigue was increasing and the more I let myself be carried away by the darkness that promise gets further away.

The last thing on my mind before everything was complete darkness was the promise and my mental apology to Sarah for not being able to keep it. 

An apology, for not being strong and capable enough to carry out that promise and having failed it in the worst possible ways.

I just hoped that she wouldn't hold a grudge against me, because I know that it would hurt her more and she would suffer longer because of me. 

And that is something I would never forgive myself for. She is too valuable and does not deserve to suffer more than she has already suffered these 16 years.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🧑‍⚕️ for Chris! Cookie treat:

🍪

CW: BBU, sickfic, ableism from Luke Petrus, general Luke Petrus warning, minor whump (OC is 17), brief implied noncon references

-

"What the heck did you do now, Petrus?" The doctor - barely out of med school, still young and learning the twists and turns of the Facility's labyrinth of hallways - sighs. He's been here barely a year, and already learned that Luke Petrus has a reputation for quick turnarounds because he runs his trainees into the ground. Metaphorically speaking.

His trainees aren't generally allowed to actually run much of anywhere at all. Or get out of bed.

Petrus rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. "Nothing. He was being a little shit this morning, breaking all his rules. I checked and his forehead was hot, so I brought him in here."

"Well... at least you didn't OD him again."

"That was one time, and he should have been fine, it's not my fault his body metabolizes the drugs wrong-"

"Maybe don't use our freaking supplies without speaking to a doctor first to make sure next time?" Dr. Ross glances into the exam through through the window cut into the door.

The trainee lays on his back on the exam table, staring listlessly up towards the flickering florescent lights overhead. His hands are moving, constantly crushing the crinkling paper beneath him or touching himself at the throat, the collarbone, the stomach. He's humming, audible through the door. A toneless, tuneless ah ah ah ah through barely open lips.

"Okay, well. I'll take a look. Any specific complaints other than the fever?"

"Clammy as fuck, coughing, sneezing... all that shit. Complained about his food, earlier, and I know he knows better than that." Petrus narrows his eyes, and Dr. Ross tries not to feel a shiver down his own spine. "He better be burning hot enough to hallucinate or he is going to fucking regret talking shit to me about the food."

Dr. Ross pauses. "The food is pretty legendarily... um, crap, though," He points out. The look Petrus gives him is so derisive he can all but feel it eat into him like acid. "I'll take a look. Probably he'll need an overnight in the clinic."

"I only have a few weeks left to finish him up. So you get him able to take training tomorrow night, got it?"

"I can't promise-"

"This one is going to a personal friend of Karen Renford's," Petrus says in a low voice. "A personal. friend. Got it?"

Dr. Ross swallows, trying not to look unnerved. "Got it."

"Good. Message me once he's good to go back, I'm going to head home for a few hours. If he's faking this..."

"Handler Petrus. How exactly would he fake a fever?" Dr. Ross looks into the exam room again. The trainee is still humming, watching his own fingers as he moves them between himself and the light. His skin is pale, a little grayish. His freckles stand out like paint splatters all over his body.

"Wouldn't put it past him. Trainees figure out all kinds of shit. Get him better and get him to stop doing that... Shit with his hands, making those noises. Punish him if he keeps it up, it's part of his training plan."

"Hm," Dr. Ross says, noncommittal. "I'll send his test results over in a bit. Enjoy your time at home."

He steps inside just to end the conversation, walking idly over to a countertop, where he opens a cupboard above and pulls out a small canister of lollipops. "Hello, 223499."

The boy's voice cuts off like a radio. After a pause, he starts mumbling, too low for Dr. Ross to hear.

"... right. Well. Your handler says you're feeling under the weather. Mind if I take a look?"

The trainee turns his head then. He looks somewhere off to one side of the doctor, blinking a little dazedly. "... take a look?"

His voice is slow, sluggish, but each word is so carefully placed.

"Yes."

The trainee looks away again. Dr. Ross sighs and goes with it, checking his temperature. 101.7, not great, not the worst fever. Hopefully this won't be another flu like the last one. Pneumonia nearly killed three trainees that time. He checked ears, eyes - pupils reactive, ears clear - and then touched at the lymph nodes beneath his jaw. A little swollen.

"Okay. Next up, we need to take a quick look down your throat."

Another slow blink. The trainee seemed to suddenly tense up. "You... want my throat?"

"Uh, well-" Dr. Ross turns away to pick up a tongue depressor and the swab for the test. "Yes, we need to test you."

The paper on the exam table crinkles again. The boy hums, almost wistfully, and then goes silent.

When he turns around, Dr. Ross discovers the boy on his knees in a seamless Position Two, mouth wide open.

His green eyes are empty, somewhere far away.

Dr. Ross's face burns at the sight. His stomach turns sharply, and he has to clear his throat to try and cover the way bile rises. "Uh, n-no thank you-... I just need... you need to be tested for strep throat, Trainee, not that kind of-... back up on the table, please-"

The boy looks confused, in a faded sort of way, but follows orders. He manages to clamber back up, sitting this time, listing a little to one side, then the other. But he opens his mouth again, and Dr. Ross hurries through the test as fast as he can, trying not to think about how most people gag during the strep test, but the Romantics never do.

"Good, made it. Perfect. Now, does your throat hurt a lot today?"

"Yes, sir." The boy's voice is a little raspy, now that he's talking. "A... lot. Earlier, i... cried when my... handler-"

"Don't need to hear the end of that sentence!" Dr. Ross forces false charm and ease into his voice, plucking one of the lollipops at random from the jar. "Here, let me give you this. It tastes a little weird, but it'll numb your throat and keep you from coughing." He unwraps it and holds it out. The trainee blinks at him. He blinks back.

Then he realizes. "... oh. Do you have to be... do I have to..." He leans forward. The trainee opens his mouth obediently for Dr. Ross to place the lollipop inside. Only then does his mouth close.

"'ank 'oo, ir," The trainee says around a mouthful of fake sweetener and the numbing agent already going to work. His eyes are so sweet and so vivid, and he half-smiles around the treat.

"You're welcome, 223499. I'm going to go and do your strep test. I'll be back. You just relax, okay? You can sleep in a clinic bed and get a good night's sleep."

The boy's eyebrows furrow. "Is... is it night?"

"Oh right. We're not supposed to let you know, are we? Well... I don't think it can hurt... yeah, I'm on nights right now, 11 to 9. It's about one in the morning."

"Oh." The trainee lays slowly back down, on his side, closing his eyes as he works at the sucker. "... what, what does night... look, um, look like?"

Dr. Ross swallows.

He's a fucking coward, but he doesn't answer. He just leaves, and he doesn't let himself stop and look back.

He doesn't let himself think about a boy who can't remember the sky.

God, he only has a few weeks left on this residency and he just isn't sure he can make it.

[sofasoap]

Lastochka - Part IV

Pairing : Nikolai x F!Reader ( OC/Mini MacTavish)

Summary: Will they be too late?

Part I , Part II, Interlude,Part III

MAJOR WARNING: Triggers of mention of near-rape, torture violence, swearing, Mature theme. Thanks to @homicidal-slvt for planting ideas into my brain. this whole series is all for you :)

My usual thanking @saltofmercury, mother of Mini, for lending me the character :) Please go and check out her fics!

“masterlist” for Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

“So, to what I owe the pleasure, Nikolai?” Pouring two glasses of vodka, Sergio turned and pointed towards Soap, “Who is he? Your new sidekick?”

“My brother in law.”

“I am not your fucken brother in law.”

“Yes you are.”

“I didn’t agree for you to be in my family.” grabbing the glass of vodka Sergio offered to him, he sniffed it before taking a sip. “ Steaming Jesus, this is some strong stuff.”

“Best Russian Vodka you can get out there”.

“Hm. still a bit short compared to the best Scotch whisky.”  Soap remarked.

“Now back to the topic. What are you doing here Nik. I thought business between us is all... Done.” Waving his hand gesturing signs of finish, Sergio wandered back to his side of the desk, settled himself down on his office chair.  

“You have something of mine in your hold.” Nikolai mentioned as he casually twirls the tumbler glass in his hand. 

“Oh? Not quite sure what you are talking about. I haven’t been in your territory for years.”

“A month ago. Near the border.” While staring dead into his eyes, Nikolai hinted to Sergio.

Soap watches the whole interaction silently as he slowly shifts himself towards the chair in the corner of the room, playing with a switch knife while other hand slides in the pocket of his jacket, grabbing hold of a little box. 

“Ah, the Сука that was snooping around and killed five of my best men?” Sergio let out a sigh, exasperated

Within the blink of an eye, Nikolai surged forwards as he jumped over the table, his hand surges up and constricts around Sergio’s neck.

“Using that word on my WIFE again, and you will have your eyes rolling in that glass of vodka within seconds.” he seethed as he tightened his grasp. “You should be glad my Lastochka ONLY killed five of your men.”

 “Soap.” Without a word, Soap passed him the switch knife. Pointing it directly at Sergio eye, Nikolai growled out the warning; “Now, don’t forget who got you out of that deep shit with the KGB back in the day,” he sneered.” Also, what I got in my hand, will ruin your status within THE CIRCLE forever.”  Releasing his hold, Nikolai moved back and speared the knife onto the table. “ You have one more chance, WHERE IS SHE.” 

Sergio stuttered out the location where you were being held. 

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” Soap plastered an exaggerated smile on his face as he pulled the knife back out and stashes it away. “And Nikolai was right, you are easy to deal with.” 

“Come on brother. Let’s go.”

“Told you I am not your brother.” 

“Pleasure doing business with you … again. You better wish next time I wouldn’t have to threaten you with anything.” Nikolai threw his final parting words down as he left the room, leaving Sergio slumping on his chair. 

Flicking Laswell a quick message as they leave, Soap discreetly drops a few more little square boxes into camera blind spot corners of the corridor.  

“Green light from Laswell. They are on the move now. You were right about the locations.” Soap frowned as he checked the reply. “How did you know?”

“I know all the secret bunkers and hiding spots that Мудакl owns. And there are quite a few of them well hidden. There is always one that he always likes to take his prisoners to. I just need to double check with him personally.” lighten up a cigarette as they get outside, “I am glad I made the right guess.”

“... and looks like Sergio is quite eager to get rid of us already.” Soap mumbled as he took his gun, noticing a few of the guards started to follow them. “Oh well. Your toys all set?” 

“Of course.” 

“Have fun with it then.” 

Soap whipped out the detonator as Nikolai turned and shot at the guards that started to swamp them.  With the press of the button, the sound of explosives started to go off one by one, until the whole building was engulfed by the flame and screams of people.

With the last of the guards shot dead. Nikolai and Soap piled into the car.

“... Thanks for the help Soap.”

“Mini is my sister. Of course I am going to help.” Soap typing messages to Laswell updating on the status as Nikolai started the car and heading towards the location to meet up with the team.

“When?” After a brief silence, Soap blurted out. Nikolai knew what Soap was asking about.

“ Right after the Safe house.” 

“How do I know you are not just fooling around with her.”

“She warned me you were going to ask all sorts of questions when you found out.” Nikolai rolled his eyes but was still looking at the road. “I married her, isn’t that enough proof?” 

“I can’t believe you two got together without anyone knowing about it.” leaning back into the seat to relax, “I just wish she will let me know earlier.”

“Soap. She really wanted your approval before we got married. But she was scared. She was so scared you would say no. She said to me once you were the best big brother she could ever ask for.” Soap smiled at the comment. “She looks up to you so much, she wants you to be proud of her. She wants you to know she can be your equal. That’s why she has been agreeing on all the covert missions. Trying to prove something.” Running fingers through his hair, frustrated, “I should have been a bit more open about us, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened.” Nikolai gripped onto the steering wheel tight, angry at himself.

Leaning forwards letting out a breath, “That’s why we try to keep her with our team each time we go out, at least we know she is safe, we can keep an eye out on her.” “The Lady Fortuna.”

“ I don’t know how that rumour started. But everyone was trying to fight for her to be on their team. But it does seem to be a miracle every team she heads out with suffers minimal losses.”

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, both of them secretly hoping your own luck will help you this one more time. 

A loud scream and stream of curses could be heard echoing through the compound. Price, Ghost and Gaz looked at each other before charging towards the sound.

Standing in the middle of the room, hand tied to the back. Blood all over your face and mouth, down from the forehead ,from headbutting the guard who was trying to force himself onto you. Another guard on the ground , blood pouring out from his neck.  Like a caged animal driven into desperation, you have fought back and sunk your teeth and tore a whole chunk of flesh out from his neck. 

That’s how the team found you. Your head snapped towards the door as they rammed through the metal door, pupil totally dilated, growling like a mad dog ,ready to pounce onto your next enemy. Gaz and Ghost quickly finished off the two enemies on the floor with shots of bullets. 

They were shocked to see you in such a state. Bruises all over, purple and yellow, cuts and wounds, old wounds re-opened as they cut into it again and again, clear signs of torture. 

“MINI!”  Breaking out of the raging trance as Price called out to you. 

“... Price? Gaz? Ghost?” your eyes suddenly clear as you focus on the men. Legs giving out underneath you, Price quickly catches you before you collapse onto the floor.

“ Did they…” Gaz gritted the question out of his mouth, not wanting to finish the sentence. Shaking your head, whispering a reply. “They tried. I fought them off.”  You started shivering as the adrenaline courses through you. 

Swinging his rifle around to the back of his shoulder, Ghost gently scoops you up. You loop your arms around his neck. 

“... Where is Johnny??????” You realised you couldn’t see your brother with the team, panic started to set in again.

“He’s ok. He’s with Nikolai. They will be here soon. Come on, Laswell is waiting for us outside. I’m sorry.” Price patted you on the head. That familiar fatherly action from Price and having  two of your brothers in arms with you for the first time in a month, tears started streaming down your face. Retreating out from the compound and towards the humvee where Laswell was waiting, with sadness, guilt and relief all written on her face. You nodded to her in acknowledgement. Lying down on the cot at the back of the humvee, after being quickly patched up, you closed your eyes, trying not to relive the horrible moments you've been through while in captivity. Your last message to the team was telling them not to come for you, after stashing the package you were instructed to steal and also your dog tag and the wedding band, hiding your identity. You were ready to sacrifice yourself to protect the team and for the success of the mission.  Deep down you regret not telling your husband about it. Not having the last chance to say goodbye to him. That fuelled your will to survive. 

As Soap would have said, “Your stubbornness will lead you to trouble.” You thought a few times in the middle of night, while the captivators left you alone in the dark, that your stubbornness has finally been a positive thing. 

Sounds of two pairs of boot running towards the humvee made you open your eyes and lift your head, trying to peek out the back door, you saw Nikolai and Soap running towards you, Gaz helped you to sit out slightly as two of them stormed into the back cabin, Nikolai immediately surged forward and held you in a tight embrace. You couldn’t hold back your emotions anymore, you let out an anguished cry as you buried your face into his chest. 

“I am here now, my little bird..  You are safe.I am not going to let you go.” Nikolai took in a deep breath,trying hard to control his own feelings, not letting the tears drop. He finally had you back into his arms, alive and safe. His love, his little swallow. Landing safely in his embrace. You felt someone else was grasping your arm, you turned your head slightly, Soap was looking at you, eyes red and sniffing. You left your husband’s arm for a second and went for a hug with your brother. 

“Soap.” Ghost tapped him on the shoulder. “Gaz and I will take the other car. You stay here with Mini and the others.” Nikolai tosses the car key to Ghost. Gaz gave you a quick kiss on the cheek while Ghost gently ruffled your hair. “Good to have you back Mini.” With that comment, the two left to take the other car to follow the humvee. 

You stayed in Nikolai’s lap the whole journey with him sitting you on the cot. Most of the journey was spent in silence with Nikolai whispering into your ears and giving you kisses.

“I am sorry. I should have let you know the details.”

“ I am not happy about that. I nearly lost you.” Burying his face into your hair and neck, “We will need to talk about this later on when you are better. You going on missions alone. This is not going to happen again.” 

Leaning into his head, “I am taking that everyone knows about us?”

“My brother in law over there had a good talk.”

“ I told you, I am not your brother in law.”

“Johnny. Face it, it's too late, I married this man.” You squeeze out a little cheeky smile.

You heard Price and Laswell’s exasperated sigh coming from the front seat. It’s good to be back with your family again. But you know, the road to recovery, both physically and mentally only just started. That will be another struggle. 

Yes I gotta admit I had inspiration from John Wick.  From a crack fic, this just went down a very dark road. oop.

Сука - Bitch

Мудак - Shit head Tag :

@roosterr @preciouslittlecreature

@boughhs

[go-river-flows]

Sweet Visions of a flower

Summary: Syulang (OC), an orphaned girl after the destruction of Hometree. She is constanly reminded of this by her amputated left leg and constantly dreams of her deep trauma. Even when she gets adopted by Toruk Makto and his wife, who she resented for over six years before forgiving him.

Part 6 or ?

  Jake and the group of warriors stripped everything off the demons, their weapons, knives, their strange talking box (a communicator, according to Jake), even their tactical vests and eye coverings off two of the demons. Binding their arms and legs together.

“Yes, everything is okay. No, she’s not hurt. Everyone is fine, no one got injured except me,” Jake spoke into his communicator, definitely to the family. I was patching Sempul’s bullet wound as the demon with strange shaved hair stared at me. Once Jake had finished talking to the family, he finally turned to me.

“I'm going to have a talk with you later,” he said in a harsh tone, “You're still injured and I didn't want you to fight,” it was similar to what he said in my vision.

  It was dark now, as the eclipse had arrived. The forest lighting up in bioluminescence. A few of the demons looked around in awe, taking in the glowing flora.

“Let's go to plan B,” Jake announced. I looked at him unsure of what he was talking about. The warriors called for their ikrans, pulling the demons from the ground, dragging them to the warriors' respective ikrans.

The demon, named ‘Quaritch’ in front of us finally spoke up, “How d’ya know we were gonna be here?” He glared angrily at Jake. Who scoffed at the question.

“Why should I tell you?” Jake quipped back.

“What are ya gonna do to us?” Quaritch asked. Jake didn't respond as he called for Bob, his ikran arriving just two seconds later, landing right next to us.

“Hey. You girl!” he called out spooking me. I pointed to myself, “Yeah, you with the prosthetic leg. You his girl?”

  Unsure how to respond to his question I was about to nod, when Jake put his hand on top of my head, glaring at Quaritch. The rest of the warriors had already taken off with the other demons, taking them only Eywa knows where. Jake hopped on his unshot leg, yanking Quaritch to stand.

“Hold him for a moment,” Jake commanded, he climbed onto Bob first, as I guided the tall demon next to me, pushing him toward Bob, Jake leant down taking a hold of the demon’s clothing hauling him onto his ikran, belly down. The Demon cursed out in foreign tongue.

“Go home,” Jake demanded of me, before commanding Bob to fly. I gave a nervous nod and mounted my thanator.

  I knew I was in for a scolding as soon as I got home. And I was right. Neytiri yelled, no, screamed at me. Furious I left my siblings, furious that I charged into a fight, furious that I told no one where I was. And I sat there taking it all. I deserved it after all.

“–You of all people should know! You are supposed to be the responsible big sister! What message does this send to your younger siblings? Huh?” Neytiri cursed out. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

“I know sa’nu, and I was wrong to do what I did. I understand. I just had a bad feeling. It was so painful, like a knife to my gut. I had a vision that the demon was going to kill Dad, I just couldn't let him die,” I cried out, “I just couldn't lose another father. Not after Hometree fell. Not after the sky demons killed my papa.” I wept to Neytiri. Her face crumpled into despair as tears threatened to fall. She knelt down in front of me gripping me into a tight hug, she began to cry too. 

Third POV

Neytiri forgot that her Syulang had lost her biological parents until that moment. She watched her grow up and thought of Syulang as her own daughter. Something she would not confess to the girl in front of her. Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri and Spider were listening from outside the tent. Their heart broke for their sister. They too forget that they were not real siblings, that she was an orphan, adopted by Neytiri and Jake. But they though of her as their strong willed and protective big sister, they too spilt some tears.

  When Jake returned much later, he was still furious as his oldest daughter. Dragging his injured leg toward the family tent, he saw his sons and daughter lying asleep outside the tent with tear stained cheeks, getting closer he whipped open the entrance of the tent, finding his wife humming a tune rocking Syulang back and forth, both with purple eyes and tear stains down their faces. Noticing his wife’s heavy-hearted expression, his anger turned to sorrow.

“Ma Jake,”  Neytiri whispered, as she held her hand out to her husband. He dejectedly knelt in front of his wife and oldest daughter, grabbing ahold of his wife’s hand. 

“Ma yawne,” Jake exhaled heavily, “Sh–”

“She knows. Ma Jake, she had another vision. Eywa showed her that you were to be killed, that's why she went there,” Neytiri said in a hushed tone, “She wanted to save you, because she was scared to lose you too.”

Jake looked down at his daughter when he heard the word ‘too’, the realisation struck him like an arrow. He wanted to cry, he should have thought about how his daughter already lost her father. His heart felt heavy as he looked at Syulang. He saw her bravery, her kindness, her agony. He saw a part of himself in her. He reached out to brush the hair from Syulang’s face, feeling the intense heat from her forehead through his fingers. He placed the back of his palm to it. Almost recoiling from the burning of Syulang’s forehead.

“Ma Jake?” Neytiri noticed her husband's expression, doing the same thing, and hissing out. 

  Jake took Syulang from his wife’s arms, forgetting his bullet wound, standing and yelping out, he stumbled. “Ma Jake!” Neytiri tucked her head under his arm, steadying him. 

  Neteyam who heard the commotion inside, moved the flap noticing the strange position his parents were in, looking down he saw the blood soaking through it's bandage, he rushed to his father’s side to steady him. All together they brought Syulang to the healing tent, past their sleeping children, Neteyam ran off to get the Tsahik and a healer. They laid Syulang down as Jake collapsed into the cot next to his daughter.

<–Previous Chapter | Next Chapter –>

[your-fav-russian-assassin]

Chapter 2

Italics = OC using her telepathy

Steve shoved Natasha against the wall for a second time when Natasha decided she had had enough.

"I know who killed Fury." Steve stepped back so Natasha could finish.

"Most of the intelligence committee doesn't believe he exists and the ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over 2 dozen assassinations in the past 50 years. His partner, the Silent Assasin has 2 dozen assassinations in the last ten years."

"So they're a ghost story?" Steve asked.

"Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Aron. Someone shot out my tires near Odesa, we lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out. But the Winter Soldier and his partner were there. I was covering my engineer so he shot him, straight through me." Natasha lifts up her shirt a little to show a gunshot scar.

"Soviet slug, no rifling. Bye, bye bikinis." Natasha finished.

"Yeah I bet you look terrible in them now." Steve said sarcastically.

Natasha paused for a moment before speaking again. "Going after them is a dead end, I know, I tried." There was another pause and Natasha holds up the drive. "Like you said, they're a ghost story."

Steve looked at Natasha.

"Then let's find out what the ghost wants."

_____________Line break____________

(Back with The Silent Assassin.)

Director Peirce comes into the kitchen and opens up the refrigerator. He turns around and sees me and my partner sitting on chairs at the table in the corner.

"I'm going to go Mr. Peirce. Do you need anything before I leave?" A voice asked. My hand instinctively reached for my gun but our handler shook his head.

"No. Uh it's fine Renata. You can go home." Peirce answered, not taking his eyes off of us.

"Okay night, night."

"Goodnight." There's a sound of a door closing and then there's silence until Peirce breaks it.

"Want some milk." Peirce asked, even though we knew it was a rhetorical question. If we answered it would mean that we had opinions on our own and they would need to wipe us.

Mr. Peirce poured himself a glass of the milk and then spoke directly to us.

"The timetable has moved. Our window is limited." He takes a drink and then walks over to our table. "Two targets, level six. They already cost me Zola. I want confirmed death in ten hours."

"Sorry Mr. Peirce I- I forgot my... phone." The voice from earlier suddenly came into view.

I instinctively reached for my gun in my holster but our handler shook his head.

"Oh Renata. I wish you would have knocked." Mr. Peirce picked up the gun that was on the table and shot the girl until she fell.

"Find them. And don't come back until they're dead."

Time Skip - 2 hours

We were currently in a car chasing our targets. They had gotten to Agent Sitwell and he was in the back right seat. The Winter Soldier was on top of the car and ready to jump on top of the other one and rip the Agent out. Before he jumped I mind messaged him.

Are you sure about this papa?

Yes doll. We will be okay.

How are you so sure?

Because I know that you are the strongest person I know, and we've made it this far. Just be careful out there doll.

I will papa.

Then he jumped on the roof of the other car and ripped Sitwell out.

He shot a few times through the roof and then the car abruptly stopped and Winter flew forward off the car. He slowly gets up while the car I'm on crashes into our targets car. We push the car forward and the Winter Soldier hops back onto the roof of the car.

He rips out the steering wheel and jumps onto the car I'm on and the targets car skids away.

We slam into them again and they hit against the side of the highway. The car flips over and the car door falls off with three people on it.

The door skids across the road and one of the three people rolled off.

Our car came to a stop and I got out just as my Partner was handed a grenade launcher. (?) He shot towards our two targets and it hit the first one's shield and sent him flying back into a bus.

The girl ran away as I started shooting. The dark-skinned man from before had reappeared and was hiding behind a car by the girl.

Winter shot a grenade at the girl with fiery red hair but she jumped over the highway railing to avoid it.

Why couldn't they just stay still!

The girl vanishes after falling below the bridge onto the lower road.

Winter falls back, his goggles being hit with a bullet from the redhead who had reappeared again and was shooting at my partner. I walked over to the railing and started to fire at her.

Winter ripped off his goggles and looked really annoyed.

Oh they're screwed now.

He jumps up and starts firing a machine gun at the redhead.

He jumps down.

Winter! What should I do!?

Find the man!

The agents started to rapid fire on the bus I knew the man was in. He jumped out and grabbed his shield and used it to protect himself against our bullets. He starts to tilt the shield so the bullets would hit the agents.

As blonde man started to run away I decided I should probably chase him. He was sprinting towards Winter and I couldn't keep up, I needed to warn Winter.

Winter! The blonde man is running at you!

He looks at the man in red white and blue just in time to block his attack. Winter kicks the man off the car he was standing on and they start to fight. I look around and try to find the redhead from earlier.

I look back over at them just as Winter's mask falls off.

The man stops and stares at my partner.

"Bucky?"

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

As the dark skinned man from earlier who now had wings came back I ran at the blonde and tackled him to the ground. He looked at me in surprise and tried to get me off, but I stayed on and kept trying to stab him with my dagger.

In the distance I could hear sirens comping closer but I kept the blonde pinned to the ground while glaring daggers in him.

He looked at me closer and he stopped struggling just a bit.

His eyes widened at me before he spoke.

"How are you so young!?"

I didn't answer.

Soon enough the SHIELD cars got here. Though now they were more like HYDRA. One of the Agents pulled me off of my target and shoved me in the back of one of the cars.

Bucky was in there too, and I came to a terrifying realization. We had failed the mission. We had failed Director Pierce's orders.

And we both knew what that meant.

We deserved it. We should have completed the mission.

Papa?

Yes doll?

I don't want to go back there. We failed. Mr. Pierce is going to be mad.

I don't either child. But it is our home doll. Mr. Pierce has done this before hasn't he?

Yes?

And we survived through it. If we did it then, we can do it now.

I sighed and leaned my head back, forcing my eyes to stay open. A few hours later we reached our destination and were led out by guard's. We went straight to the tech room. Winter sat down in a chair and was having his arm fixed up. He tensed for only a milisecond but I still caught it and sent him a questioning look. He sprung up and his eyes looked more distant than they usually are.

He started to attack the doctors around us and I sprang up too. I knew the drill, this happened more than once, each time it was my job to either calm him down our pin him down. It was no secret that I was better than him. No secret at all.

The guard's around us pointed their guns at him and I was holding my knife to his throat so he couldn't kill anyone.

A few minutes later Pierce walked in and put his hands up for the guards to drop their guns.

"Stand down Silent Killer." Pierce ordered.

I pulled my knife away from his neck and stood protectively behind the Soldier.

"Mission report." He ordered his Soldier. Winter stayed silent. "Mission report now!"

Pierce slowly walked towards his asset and bent down so they were at eye level.

Pierce drew his hand back and backhanded the Winter Soldier in the face.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to lunge forward and attack Pierce for hitting my papa.

"The man on the bridge, who was he?" Winter asked.

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment." Pierce answered after a second.

"I knew him."

Oh no. This was not good.

Pierce sat down in a chair in front of us.

"Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century. And I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow we're going to give it a push. But, if you don't do your part, I can't do mine. And HYDRA cant give the world the freedom it deserves." I  knew Pierce's speech all too well. I didn't like how this was going.

"But I knew him."

Before anyone could do anything else I lunged at Pierce and tried to cut him with my knife. The guards around us sprang into action and quickly hit me with there batons until I got off.

"Prep them." Pierce demanded as if his life wasn't just at stake.

"But sir, they've both been out of crypto for too long!" One of the doctors asked slightly worried.

"Then wipe them and start over."

They pushed me and him into the Chair. There was, of course, two of them.

My breathing started to speed up and I opened my mouth instinctively for them to put in a mouth guard.

The machine started to lower towards my head and my breathing spread up even more. I could feel hot tears streaming down my face as I begged to be let go. The machine clamped around my head and started the torture.

I screamed until my vocal cords were sore. And even then, I kept screaming. You would think you would get used to being electrocuted, but no. It has to hurt just as bad every time.

Mr. Pierce leaves with Agent Rumlow as our screams continue to echo through the walls.

After they said their words.

"Soldiers?"

"Ready to comply."

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟ updated 11/7

18+ only | rocket x oc | 18/26 Chapters | WIP | Word Count: pending.

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

“It's time for the Ravagers…to rise once again to glory…with a new captain!” Taserface bellows, and then howls his own name like it’s not an utterly laughable moniker. It’s too bad that Rocket used up all his best insults on this dumbass when he was previously locked up here. Now would’ve been an ideal time, with a better audience. But before he can make a crack about everyone hailing Captain Scrotum Hat, the douchebag in question is squeezing Jo’s shoulder again. “Lass,” he booms. “Would ye like to have a drink with a captain?” The crew roars its support for the proposal and the space behind Rocket’s eyes goes hot. The cheers just sound like static and he can’t even think — there’s only the instinctive urge to commit arson. When he can see again, his gaze finds Jo. She’s looking up at Taserface — and then she smiles that wide, fake smile that never reaches her dead eyes.

[NEW 11/7] ✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

i'm pretty happy with this chapter? i think? fuckin taserface tho ~ ♡

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut. let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies). let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI.

Chapter XXII.

Chapter XXIII.

Chapter XXIV.

Chapter XXV.

Chapter XXVI.

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick

[faggot-dot-jpg]

talk to me about ur ocs u seem silly (sory for showing up unannounced i opt to not control the urge to hear ppl ramble about their self-made lil guys)

WIDENS EYES SO SO BIG OMG

OKAY OKAY OKAY

SO I HAVE THESE TWO LITTLE GUYS

MILO AND AND JAX (no relation to tadc) (I will now stop yelling)

Milo is an angel and Jax is a demon (giggles)

they are both 20 yrs old, Milo is transmasc (he/him) and "straight" (he is actually so bisexual), Jax is gay (he/it)

(runs to my notes app) (lil warning, quite a bit of their story is Jax helping Milo through his fear of his own sexuality, so yea you can guess there gonna be certain themes)

Okay so Milo is like low-key famous up in heaven (he's the son of the king of heavens "manager" I forgor the word) (ITS ADVISOR, THE KINGS TOP ADVISOR TAHTS THE WORD OMG)

so he's constantly trying to keep his public image intact..

but that starts to get harder after he's sent on a mission to deliver a message to the king of hell

down there he sees the king's son (spoiler: it's Jax) and is like " Oh shoot oh no he's hot wth why do I like this guy I'm straight wait what"

OH YEA SILLY HEAVEN LORE DROP: Being queer is totally fine up there, Milo has been out and transitioned for years, but from a young age all angel's are taught that engaging in sexual activity or having sexual thoughts is a big no no

lore drop over, back to the other lore drop :3

so for the next month or so Milo is having progressively more risqué thoughts and even dreams (woagh that's crazy) and he's getting real stressed out because I LIED MORE HEAVEN LORE: when angels start losing their "purity", small parts of their body start changing to red, ie some of the hair, eyes, any markings. SO HES ALL STRESSED CAUSE HES STRUGGLING TO HIDE THE CHANGES :((

ANYWAYS- He gets sent on another mission to hell, this time to ask if preparations for Jax's coronation have started, and gets suckered into helping. The two start getting closer~..

ONTO JAX LORE!!!!!! YIPPEE

Jax is the Prince of Hell, and has been conditioned by its asshole of a father to eventually become king since he was very young. His father would often push Jax past its limits both physically and emotionally. When he couldn't deal with this, his father decided to start just straight up abusing him. (I wanna kill, him. YES I KNOW IM IN CONTROL BUT HES IMPORTANT TO THE STORY FOR NOW 😭)

Because his mother was an incubus (she's uh- out of the picture... also incubi and succubi can be any gender so fun fact!!!) it decides to deal with his issues by whoring around (he's so silly!! <- the poor guy needs severe therapy and to get away from his dad)

One day, an angel comes to deliver a message to his father (WOAGH I WONDER WHO THAT IS!?!??! 🧐🧐) and he becomes absolutely infatuated after seeing him once (bro is down bad frfr)

as it nears time for his coronation, the same angel comes to visit to help with preparations. once again, the two start getting closer~..

NOW GENERAL STORY STUFF!!!!! I cannot thank you enough for the chance to be so soso abnormal abt my silly little guys btw

Before they get closer, Milo is like "nuh uh being friends with a demon is wrong HECK NO" (he doesn't swear :3) but eventually they start talking, Jax opens up about his daddy issues (trauma is the first conversation topic as always with these DAMN QUEERS-) <- I AM A DAMN QUEER YALL

and Jax learns what life in heaven is like (and is absolutely horrified to learn that sexuality is frowned upon)

it now has a goal to help Milo understand that his teachings were incorrect

to directly quote my notes app: One night, Milo comes back to his guest room to see it destroyed.. (While they were working, one of Jax's old boy toys wrecked it in a fit of rage over Milo getting close to Jax) As they don't have any other rooms available, Jax offers to let Milo stay in his for now. Milo accepts, then panics once he learns that Jax only has one bed. Jax doesn't see an issue, and they sleep in the same bed with a little persuasion. (THAT SOUNDS WEIRD, I PROMISE JAX ISNT A CREEP OR NOTHIN)

uhhh umm the next part is kinda- uhmmmmmmm 😳 I don't think I'm gonna say it here

just know some of Milo's dreams come true :3c

SADLY I HAVENT WRITTEN THE STORY PAST THIS PART SO THATS IT FOR NOW :((

TY FOR ASKING

[childofescapism]

AN: Hello, everyone! I really wanted to write some stuff with my oc Mephistopheles, who is the child of one of Gotham's mafia bosses and Zsasz's significant other, and Victor Zsasz from the series Gotham. So I came up with this. Also, I added the oc of @dripkouphs , Richie, who is a retired assassin that owns a bar in Gotham named "Le Vert Sauvage". Hope y'all enjoy it!

WARNING: Season 4 spoilers!!!

To Carmine Falcone

The news of Carmine Falcone's death had descended upon the city of Gotham. The same evening a bald assassin entered "Le Vert Sauvage" looking for the one person that might be able to answer all his questions.

Mephistopheles was sitting by the bar staring at the swirling, colourless liquid in his glass. The green haired bartender busied themself with a drink of their own, but from time to time glanced at the man across from them. The only sound in the bar was the alternative rock produced by the speakers.

"Did you kill him?" Zsasz asked, his voice similar to the calm before the storm. The words left a bitterness on his tongue, but he knew what the man in front of him was capable of.

"Good evening to you too, Monsieur Zsasz." Richie's french accent was laced with casual sarcasm, wanting to defuse the situation. If they did not, they could already see the mess the two men would make of their bar.

"Answer the question, Meph," Victor demanded once he noticed the other man seemed to have no intention of doing so. The bartender's greeting was completely ignored, but they did not make any moves to protest. The silence that followed was long enough to cause a vein to pop on the hairless man's temple.

"The night Mario died, Carmine and I spent the whole night in his office drinking his favourite wine and reminiscing. So I thought it fitting to drink a couple glasses in his memory," Mephistopheles, finally, broke his silence. His russian accent was lighter, but still evident, indicating he had had more than just a couple glasses.

"Or a dozen," Richie added in a joking manner, while hoping Meph still had his wits about him; at least enough not to cause damage to their bar again.

"Don't change the subject." Zsasz still focused on the brunet, pointing one of his guns at him. The man being threatened downed his drink, seemingly without a care.

"Rich, pour me another?"he asked, and the only response he received was a quick refill.

Victor's remaining patience was not enough to handle Meph's little games. Soon his leather gloves were tightly holding the other man's black collar, forcefully pushing his back against the bar. That move earned him a few curses in french and a loud thud, that resonated throughout the empty bar, but nothing more.

"For the last time, did you kill the old man?"the assassin towered over the shorter male, a threat evident in his voice.

"Do you think I did?" Meph's voice was sickeningly calm and he had an absurdly emotionless face to match.

"Everyone on the street does and I know you are capable." Victor could tell there were some intense emotions hidden under the other man's facade, but he stood his ground.

"Yes, but do you believe I did it?" he emphasized the word "you", bringing a finger up to press on Zsasz's chest. His eyes stared into the muddy mess that were his partner's ones. "Khvorost, I've told you that if I were to be killed by a bullet, I would want it to have V.Z. engraved on it. So if you believe I ordered his death, shoot me, otherwise have a drink with me to his memory."

The assassin's resolve broke, making him let go of the shorter male. He occupied the seat next to Meph looking defeated. Mephistopheles looked over to Richie, who got the message and poured a glass of rum for his fellow killer.

"If you did not do it, then who did?" Victor inquired as he accepted the glass. Now even the bar's rats stared at the mafioso all ears.

"I have my suspicions, but I do not enjoy pointing fingers arbitrarily." was all they got, and all they knew they would get out of him for now.

After a short pause, Meph looked at his two favourite psychopaths with a sombre smile raising his glass, "To Carmine Falcone, the Don that made this city what it is."

Victor raised his glass with a look of repressed sorrow and Richie followed suit, "To Carmine Falcone."

[arkytiorwrites]

What If… Doctor Strange had Someone Who Loved Him When He Lost His Hands?

Stephen Strange (616) x OC

So, I wrote this at two in the morning in response to this post. And I have to say I’m pretty damn proud of it. I thought about making it x reader, but it makes more sense with an OC. And I readily admit that Stephen is pretty OOC, but I think we all know deep down, that man is sobbing 24/7 for affection.

The 30th,

Rory gets a call from her favorite doctor after he fails to show up for his award ceremony, and realizes something is very wrong.

How? How could I not have realized? How could I have been so blind? I should’ve known when he didn’t show, the wrecked rail along the road I knew he would have taken.

I had been called at four in the morning, head pounding from the champagne, his voice shaky and slurred, and it was then I knew.

I ran from our apartment, barely giving enough time to pull on the protective gear for my bike over my pj’s. God only knows how many rules of the road I’d broken in the agonizing, slow as dripping pine sap, forty-five minutes it took me to get to Metro General Hospital.

I ran to Reception, I don’t remember parking the bike and at that moment I didn’t care. The nurse looked a bit shocked, I imagined I was a bit of a mess, makeup smeared from last night, green and gold eyes glistening with terrified tears, short, red fox hair a wreck from pulling my helmet off.

“Where is he?” I pleaded, voice cracking horribly.

“Miss, calm down-“

“Just tell me where he is, goddamnit!” I screamed, the sickening terror crawling up along my throat accompanied by the taste of bile.

“Rory!” a familiar voice cried, cutting through the panic and anxiety clouding my mind.

Turning, I saw Christine hurrying down the hall towards me, blue scrubs a lovely contrast to her dark auburn hair.

“Christine,” I sobbed brokenly. “I. I came. I came as soon as I got the call. I… please. Is he-?”

“He’s going to be okay, Rory. It’s alright. I’ll take you to him,” the older woman promised, pulling my shaking, scrawny frame into a strong hug.

“I’ll take it from here, Jackie,” she informed the reception nurse before guiding me toward the room where Stephen was recovering.

I had met Stephen Strange in a Starbucks, of all the cliche places. He’d spotted me reading one of my childhood favorites, and clearly in a bad mood, started grumbling to himself about what the younger generation had come to. Overhearing him, I had neatly responded with a well thought out argument of my own about the comfort and delight rereading something my dad had read to me as a child brought me before going back to my book. Somehow, we managed to hit it off, and started dating six months later. Three years later, I had been planning to propose to him because clearly hell would freeze over before Stephen grew a pair.

I had it all planned out, he’d accept his award at the party, schmooze for a bit, then take him out to the balcony and ask. Hopefully, he’d say yes. Now. Now I had no idea if ever would be a good time.

Christine led me to a private room in the recovery ward, stopping before entering.

“Rory, you need to understand, his hands were badly damaged, EMS found him past the golden hour of nerve recovery, he. He’s in pretty bad shape. We did what we could. But…”

I got the message.

“Honestly, he could look like fucking Darth Vader, as long as he’s alive,” I stated before carefully opening the door.

All the warning in the world couldn’t have prepared me for what I saw next.

Stephen lay in the sterile, white room, face horribly bloody and bruised, but what made tears start to roll down my cheeks… were his hands.

Pins stuck out from every segment of his fingers, and suspended in the air. One look and even I knew. He’d never operate again.

“Oh, Jesus,” I quietly swore. “This’ll kill him.”

“Just,” Christine began, placing a hand on my shoulder in silent support. “Just be there for him. He won’t admit it, but he needs you.”

I nodded silently, and stumbled over to the single chair next to the bed to sit. Christine left to give us some privacy.

Something must have alerted him to the presence of someone in the room, because he shifted a bit and mumbled, “Christine?”

“Hey dumbass,” I called softly.

His lovely, ever shifting glasz eyes cracked open, and widened further at the sight of me.

“Rory? What. What are you doing here?”

“You called me, remember?” I explained gently.

“No, not really,” he confessed, closing his eyes.

“You were pretty out of it from what I could hear, you still are,” I laughed hoarsely. Curling in on myself in a vain attempt at substituting the safety Stephen’s arms always gave.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?” I asked, tilting my head in confusion even though he couldn’t see.

“That you have to see me like this.”

“Sweetheart, you could be black and blue and stuffed in a five hundred year old potato sack, and you’d still be the prettiest bitch in Brooklyn,” I snorted, fighting the urge to hold him. It was probably the last thing that would help.

He laughed a bit of that, then winced.

“Thanks, but making me laugh is not a good idea right now, darling,” he admitted.

“Understood,” I nodded, trying not to cry. “I’m sorry I didn’t figure out what happened.”

“You couldn’t have known, I was being stupid.”

“Were you looking at cases while driving? Stephen, goddamnit how many times have I told you-?”

“I know. I know. Clearly, I’ve paid for my mistakes,” he snapped.

“Not to be superstitious or anything, but texting while driving in 2016? Babe, you are in for some deep shit,” I snorted. (Oh, how little did I know how right I was)

We were silent for a while before Stephen finally said, “Rory, there. There was something I wanted to give you last night. It should be in my jacket pocket.”

I checked the cabinet where his personal effects should be, and found the jacket, blood stained and glass torn. Reaching into the right pocket, I pulled out a small, red velvet box.

I brought it over, and he haltingly asked me to open it. I did, and what was inside almost made me start crying again.

Inside, was a simple gold band inlayed with a row of small emeralds, just like my mother’s wedding band. Looking up, I met Stephen’s anxious gaze with wonder.

“Steph. Were. Were you going to…?”

“Yes,” he admitted, looking away. “When I accepted the award, I was going to ask you to come up onstage with me, and I was going to propose. But, I understand if you say no.”

I couldn’t help it, I began a laugh that quickly dissolved into crying.

“Oh. God, honey,” I sobbed. “We’re both so stupid.”

“What. What do you mean?” He asked warily, clearly unsure what to make of my tears.

Reaching into the pocket of my jacket, I pulled out my own velvet box, this one black. It had become a habit to carry it with me, just in case. He stared in shock as I opened it to reveal a black band with a pattern of sapphires and diamonds going around it.

“You-?”

“After you got the award, I was gonna take you to the balcony and ask. I wanted it to be somewhere private in case you said no,” I confessed, still crying a little.

He started to cry/laugh to, wincing as each movement made his ribs hurt.

“For people who are supposed to be intellectual geniuses, we’re so goddamn stupid,” Stephen admitted with the crooked little smile that I knew was just for me. He didn’t even give Christine that smile.

“Yeah we are,” I agreed with a matching grin.

“Do. Do you think you can wait until I can put it on you myself?” he queried shyly.

“Babe, I’d wait until the last bit of stardust was reduced to nothing for you, of course I will,” I informed him with a soft smile.

He smiled at me again, a full, honest one and it took everything in me to fight the urge to hold him and kiss him silly.

“Would you please lay down next to me, darling?” he requested.

“Always, lemme get out of these,” I agreed. Shimmying out of the jacket and pants, pulling off my boots, I finger combed my hair as I carefully considered the best way to curl up as close as I could to… my fiancé.

He blinked in surprise when he saw I was still in my sweatpants and his Pink Floyd t-shirt.

“I didn’t think getting changed was that important,” I shrugged as I carefully crawled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt my whole body relax when I felt him tilt his chin to rest in the still messy mop of my hair.

“God I’m so glad you weren’t with me, darling,” he confessed after I had almost drifted off. “I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you.”

“Knowing you, you’d probably try to find a way to alter a fixed point in your past,” I mumbled sleepily. “Time travel 101, never try to alter your personal past, or the past in general, really. Especially fixed points. Big no no.”

We were quiet again for a bit, before Stephen piped up again.

“I wish I could hold you.”

“Gently. You’re holding me gently.”

“Gently? At a time like this?”

“Gently!” I squeaked as I finished the quote from the Princess Bride. “God, I love you, you absolute nerd.”

“Could you repeat that? I don’t think the whole hospital heard you. I have a reputation to maintain,” he teased.

“Please. Everyone knows you’re an absolute softie. You’re dating me, remember?” I fired back, our well rehearsed banter helping me to realize that Stephen was alive, and he was going to be okay.

“Yeah. That’s completely annihilated it, hasn’t it?”

“Yup. Now shush, you need to rest. Doctor’s girlfriend’s orders,” I scolded lightly as I nuzzled further into his shoulder.

“Wow, pulling that card, are we? And you mean fiancée, right?”

“Not till you put a ring on it. Now I’m serious, Stephen Strange. Sleep.”

“It’s Doctor Stephen Strange,” he grumbled mutinously.

“Quit quoting Pirates at me and sleep, or I’ll get Christine to give you enough sedagives to knock out three Frankensteins.”

“As long as you quit making Young Frankenstein references.”

“Deal.”

It didn’t take long for him to pass out now that he was no longer actively fighting the meds coursing through his system. I stayed awake, the emotional rollercoaster I’d been on since I woke up needing time to come to a stop.

Alone with my anxiety, I couldn’t help but think about all the ways that Stephen could have ended up in the morgue rather than beside me. He could have been slammed off a bridge and straight into the river. In a neighborhood filled with kids, what if it had been raining? Or God forbid, snowing. What if he’d been in the middle of nowhere? And he’d never been found? If anything had changed, if it had been on a different day, would he not had survived?

No. No. No, he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive. I repeated to myself firmly, pressing closer to the warm body beside me. Eyes glued to the heart monitor measuring each steady beat of the heart I could hear under my ear.

He’s alive.

[2tiredgal]

18+ Cult of the Lamb Roleplay! No one under 18 allowed!! Looking for someone to play as Baal, Aym, Narinder (The One Who Waits), Heket, Leshy, Kallamar, Shamura, or possibly an OC. All being cis male! All characters will either be hybrids (human with animal ears, tails, horns if they have them) or a demon (Leshy, Heket, Kallamar, Shamura). If this interests you (you cam be active and do at least 2+ paragraphs in response) message me on my discord 2tiredgal

I have been far too into the game lately and my brain has been spouting off different ideas. This will be an au, your character will be the leader of the cult (most likely the god of it instead of the vessel) while the lamb is their partner / lover and second in command. This won't be smut the entire time, but in the beginning there will be it. The idea is the lamb goes out on a crusade only to end up badly injured and having to cut it short. Cue him coming back in said state this is where we will start. If you wish to play as multiple characters be my guest, I am open to a polyship.

Now the Lamb's name will be Lazarus. His age is unknown, but he looks to be in his twenties. He was the very first follower of yours cult. He was an outcast, he did not have a flock to call his own. This being his situation meant he had to survive all on his own which has left his body battered with many old battle scars, long jagged nasty things littering his entire body. There is three claw marks covering his right eye and side of his face. His eyesight is gone in that eye, but it doesn't hold him back. Lazarus is short and small, but by now it is know his looks are quite deceiving. He reaches to be 5'3 to 5'4. His eyes are a beautiful chocolate brown color, his right one being lighter and milky looking due to it being blind. His skin is a darker tone, I would say it is an espresso tone. His hair is still pure white. It's short, fluffy, and curly. He has the lamb ears that are the same color as his skin tone (they replace human ears) and a pure white fluffy lamb tail at the base of his spine.

Lamb Reference Pic (yes I made it myself)

https://imgur.com/gallery/1jw8YRt

Necklace he is wearing;

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTQOsZTupKRdg-vPQtm_YxQPQVJd8yorCTiBo0AMJJiQpkrciiaYUUQ25l5emDNee-blWDVFIE&usqp=CAc

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From the very beginning of his life, it had not been easy. His parents had been shunned from their flock and casted out, left to suffer and rot. He never knew the reason why. They never spoke of their past to him. They were loving parents either way, and his childhood was decent until they stepped into unknown territory. His parents were killed a few days after. He had only been fifteen years old. This left poor Lazarus to flee with his body littered with horrible wounds. Somehow, he managed to survive all of that. He didn't know how, but he did. When his wounds were healed enough he escaped the territory and kept as far as from it. Now this began his new life, a very lonely and pain filled one. It was only years later he was captured and dragged back to that place. He was to be killed to keep some sort of prophecy from coming true. His arms had been bounded behind his back and he was forced to his knees. His eyes squeezed shut and he awaited for the pain to come. It never did.

There were sounds around him, loud and chilling. Screams came from his capturers, they were yelling to one another about attacking something. Suddenly everything went silent and a chill settled in the air. What the hell had happened? Well, *he* had come. *He* was the enemy of those who had ordered the slaughter of his entire species. That day he had been rescued and given a new life. One that was amazing. He was no longer alone, he now had a permanent home. The dangers of the world seemed so far now since he had joined the other. Though, he never imagined he would ever join a cult but here he was. A few years later and helping run one with the same man that had saved him. The same man he long had fallen in love with and now was in a relationship with. The past Lazarus would find all of this insane and he couldn't blame him.

Now, his duties consisted of many things. One of them was venturing within the enemy's territories. Whether it was rescuing new members for the cult, gathering supplies, or just defeating creatures. He did it all and typically Lazarus never had any trouble. At least until today. He didn't know where or what went wrong, but something did! Multiple creatures surrounded him, fast and strong ones. Intense pain rocked through his body in waves. The pain came from the many injuries scattered across his body. Variety of claw marks, bites wounds, slashes from swords and daggers. He wasn't going to make it home at this rate if stayed put. Cursing, he pulled all the power he could before releasing the freezing curse. Knocking the creatures back a good distance and freezing them temporarily. His free hand shakily reached up, grasping tightly onto the necklace his partner had given him. Calling upon their power he teleported himself back to the base.

His body immediately collapsed onto the platform, causing all eyes to lock onto him. Cries of shock and panicked shouts came from the members of the cult. The last thing he heard was footsteps rushing towards him. Lazarus truly did not know how long it had been before he was rising back to consciousness. The lamb hybrid was no longer outside, he could tell from what he was laying on alone. A soft bed it was which meant he was in his and his partner's private quarters. Grimacing in pain, he forced his eyes to open. He didn't need to look around at all, his lover was right next to the bed. A slightly larger hand gripping his own tightly but gently. Weakly he gave their hand a small squeeze, "Hello, love." He rasped out with a weak smile.

[mint-yooxgi]

Rover was fantastic! The story building, pacing, technicalities and sheer work that went into it- bravo!

It definitely was NOT my type of story but I couldn't help but get roped in. It took me about 20 minutes to read but if feels like I just watched a two hour film! You said this was made to make us feel things, and feel things I did!

First of all, Jongin was such a shitty man. I don’t care whatever justifications there were, he did NOT belong with reader. There were many microdetails (that Kai picked up on throughout the entire piece) that showed how severly neglected reader was. My heart broke during the lovemaking scene because that was ALL for Jongin. She wanted all of that but only from Jongin. She really had the wool pulled over her eyes and coming from such a damaged home, she deserved better!

Kai wasn't faultless either. I expected he didn't truly love reader but I'll get into that later. From the time it mentioned he used other women to ease his pain, it had me going hmmm. Kai did love her deeply, but more as an idea or possession. As reader said, he wanted to own her. Of course he would, he's never had anything of his own! He loved her 'first' as he said. He should know that first doesn’t matter when it comes to love. Unfortunately for reader, who loved her first and who loved her best, who loved her at all, these still were not pure love. It was a selfish love that served Jongin and Kai and their sick inferiority complexes. Reader truly loved Jongin though, ohhhh my heart aches for her. The tenderness and forgiveness, she was such a rock and safe place- one that was taken for granted and used time and time again, a pawn in a game between brothers.

What a ride! Thank you soooo much for a whopping 25k whole ass movie hahah. I followed for the yandere!yeosang but this pulled me in and had me cursing madly at my screen almost the entire time. Reader is my sunshine and Jongin and Kai can go fuck themselves 🤬. Fantastic story telling and AMAZING plot set up. From the mission to all the happenings inbetween. The amount of details packed in this story was jaw dropping. I'm in awe! Also the thriller/horror elements were great. I liked the perspective you used, letting the reader know that Jongin was NOT Jongin and having to watch reader be fooled. Also, the part about the rings, when reader sounds Kai out and makes him admit that he killed his brother. And the part where she says their trademark line and Kai says the sun has already risen. Genius! I like that you had Kai be crazy in the end and didn't have the reader feed into his delusions that he's a savior of sorts or a 'better man'. A mad who loved her wouldn't have pointed a gun at her, he wouldn't put his love before her life. Absolutely AMAZING! thank you for writing and sharing it!

Oh my goodness! Thank you so very much for such a lovely message!! I remember seeing it come in last night before I went to sleep and it made my entire evening - I couldn't stop giggling and kicking my feet like a cricket beneath my sheets hehehe

First of all, thank you so much for reading even though it wasn't your type of story!! The fact that you even gave it a chance, and then sent me this lovely ask about it afterwards means the world to me!

Oh yeah, Jongin was definitely not a good person. Neither was Kai, nor OC a lot of the times. Just unhealthy dynamics all around honestly! And yes!!! Exactly!!! OC always wanted that 'lovey-dovey romantic talk' but Jongin would never give it to her. It's part of what makes the events in this story such a tragedy, because now we'll never know if Jongin was even capable of giving that to the OC. Oc truly did deserve better!

I absolutely adore your observations on Kai and Jongin's relationship dynamics with the OC and how they had a selfish, self-fulfilling love of her. I'm literally smiling rereading everything you have to say, and I enjoy how you were able to pick up on the subtle things I write into the story!! Thank you so much!!

I cannot thank you enough for leaving such wonderful feedback for me, it truly means a lot that you enjoyed the story!! I really do appreciate it so much!! I hope to continue producing stories like this in the future which are just as captivating and thought-provoking as this one.

Until then, happy reading!! 🥰

[come-along-pond]

"i wake up screaming from dreaming." with Kate, pretty please?? 🖤🖤🖤

warnings: foul language (lol), major spoilers for s3 of the boys.

a/n: fully aware you can't really read this one yet as well lol, it'll be like a finishing show treat. Also I am brave enough to admit that my characterisation for Billy is super off lol. Just tryna get some practice in before I work on the main fic.

Butcher’s flat is strangely quiet, Kate would have thought the silence would drive him mad, but maybe that’s the point. He offers her a cuppa and sits her down on his sofa, it feels strangely intimate for their relationship considering the other things they get up to. 

“Billy,” she isn’t sure how to approach this, how to tell him that he’s probably lost his mind and that she’ll stab him if she sees him take one more dose of Temp-V.

“Yeah?” he’s pouring the water into cups, he only had a second one for her, it took far too long than he’d care to admit to find one. Yes he could have got the cheapest, first one he saw. But he didn’t, and so now the second mug in his flat looked somewhat vintage and had a light lipstick stain on it. 

“I um…hmm,” Kate bites her tongue, unable to get the words out “The temp-V…”

Billy sighs “Fucking hell,” 

“Billy- “

“Hughie’s already got Annie up his arse, I don’t need you up mine,”

“I know, but Jesus fucking Christ Butcher you’re killing yourself,” Kate stands, turning sharply to see Billy stood over his counter, palms face down on it “It’s your body, it’s your choice I know that. But what about the people who rely on you?”

“Like who?” he scoffs.

“Ryan! You pushed him away because you thought he’d be safer but you know you’re wrong. What about Hughie? What about me?”

“And why do you care darlin’?”

“Oh, don’t be cunt Billy,” Weirdly Kate was the one getting angry, Butcher seemed beaten, like he’d already lost this argument with himself “Of course I fucking care about you! Of course I don’t want to be stood over your dead body or a gravestone!”

“Why hm? Why do you give a fuck about me?”

“You know why,” Kate sighs, and Billy looks left and sees her glassy eyes, slowly approaching her

“Maybe I wanna hear you say it,” 

“You won’t say anything back,”

“Maybe I will,”

“I don’t want you to die because I love you,” Kate looks down “Because I’m fucking in love with you and Jesus Christ in the middle of the night, I wake up screaming, from dreaming that you’re dead at my feet at guess what? Homelander isn’t there. It’s just you because you’ve done it to yourself,”

“You think you don’t deserve love,” Kate meets his eyes “But you do. I’ve seen what you deem the worst parts of yourself, fuck I’ve seen you beat a man bloody to death and inject that green shit into your veins,” she gestures to where he kept the V “And I love you, and I just want you to be alive long enough for you to understand that,”

Billy sighs, he’d asked her to explain, but he didn’t expect her to actually do it. She was right, he didn’t think he deserved her, but she was here, and it was clear she wasn’t giving up any time. He wraps his arms around Kate, pulling her to him, her body shakes as she breathes, her own arms wrapping around him.

“I love you, I do and I’m sorry,” he mutter quietly into her hair “but that’s why I can’t get that those supe cunts get near you,”.

-----&-----

taglist: @lilac-lemonade @witchofinterest​ @veetlegeuse @arrthurpendragon @sentineljedi @stanshollaand @foxesandmagic @edshopper @eddiemunscns @carmens-garden @dancingsunflowers-ocs @raith-way @ginevrastilinski @wordspin-shares @oneirataxia-girl

Send an ask/message if you wish to be added or removed!

[blue-aconite]

I posted 5,249 times in 2022

That's 3,120 more posts than 2021!

271 posts created (5%)

4,978 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@yanna-banana

@anniesocsandgeneralstore

@jakeseresins

@skloomdumpster

@babyrooster

I tagged 2,007 of my posts in 2022

#crush - 495 posts

#glen powell - 426 posts

#robert pattinson - 293 posts

#the batman - 199 posts

#bruce wayne - 127 posts

#top gun maverick - 113 posts

#i hate him so much he’s ridiculous and i want to marry him - 109 posts

#semi feral pet bat - 105 posts

#jake hangman seresin - 93 posts

#miles teller - 91 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#haven’t properly cried since 2013 but sometimes i just stare into the void when i don’t want to deal with my feelings

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

between the wolves || prologue

Summary: She was, after all, running away from him. From their future. A future she didn’t want.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Jake Seresin x OC 

Authors Note: It’s finally here. Thank you to my werewolf love @anniesocsandgeneralstore for beta reading. Thank you for cheering me on, listening to me rant and being my best friend. This fic would not exist without you.

New Message

To: Sam H

“I’m sorry. I need some space. I need to breathe, to be alone. Take care. I’ll miss you.”

The last part was a lie, she thought as she stared at the screen before locking it and putting her phone away. She wouldn’t miss him. She was, after all, running away from him. From their future. A future she didn’t want. 

Cassandra leaned back against the uncomfortable seat and closed her eyes. Check-in had gone smoothly and she wasn’t set to board her flight for another thirty minutes. She double checked her boarding pass and passport when her phone went off again.

There were four messages from Sam and two from her mother, including three voicemails. She had opened neither. At the top was a new message from her father.

1 New Message

From: Dad

“Be safe. Text me when you land. I’ll deal with your mother. And Sam.”

She smiled before setting the phone on flight mode and pocketed the device. Looking up, she saw people were beginning to move, anxious to board the plane but Cassandra stayed put. There was no point in rushing. 

She might have been in the middle of one of the busiest airports in New York but she had never felt calmer. Leaving had been the right decision. 

‘Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 75B to Anchorage, Alaska. We are now inviting those passengers in first class, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes. Thank you.’

Cassandra gathered her things and joined the queue, letting an older couple through first.

“Thank you dear. Travelling alone?” the woman smiled kindly. She reminded Cassie of her own grandmother.

“Yes ma’am. A break from everything.” she smiled. The woman patted her arm before joining her husband again. 

While settling into her seat Cassie couldn’t help but to think about what she had told the woman. A much needed break. She was aware that she was running but she didn’t know what else to do. So much of her life had been planned for her but wasn’t what she wanted. Not anymore. 

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72 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#4

FE YOURE KILLING ME WITH THE GLEN CONTENT

I’m just doing my duty ma’am

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73 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#3

not a bad thing || j.h.s

Summary: She always thought their love was special, something solid and grounding. So when he first started to withdraw, she hadn’t questioned it. She believed his excuses, never arguing or second guessing him. Because he would never hurt her. He had sworn that he never would.

Warnings: Emotional cheating/affair, angst, swear words

Word Count: 2k

Pairings: Jake Seresin x f!reader

Authors Note: This is for @jostystyles and her “top tracks writing challenge” 2.6k followers! Congratulations on the milestone darling! I’m sorry this is late. Thank you to my lovely betas @writercole @therebeccaw @princessmisery666 @imjess-themess @anniesocsandgeneralstore, you all made this fic so much better! 

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216 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

#2

it’s to you i will always return || b.b & j.s

Summary: Missing her boys while they’re on deployment.

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Bradley Bradshaw x f!reader

Authors Note: This is for @callsign-phoenix​ 500 followers celebration! It’s a little late but it’s here now! Congratulations Soph on 500 followers! And thank you to @marvelandotherfandomimagines​ and @anniesocsandgeneralstore​ for beta’ing!

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842 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

you said you’d grow old with me || b.b

Summary: Bradley Bradshaw had been in her life since she was 16 years old. Her rock, anchor in a bad storm, shoulder to cry on. Her best friend. It felt like they had known each other forever, two pieces of a puzzle. She could talk to him about everything.

Warnings: Terminal illness, angst, no happy ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x f!reader

Authors Note: This is all thanks to @imjess-themess. Blame her. Thank you @imjess-themess @writercole for reading it over for me. I wrote this in less than three hours and I spent most of them crying.

Song; you said you’d grow old with me

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1,248 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hey yo, I hope work is going well, Im glad you got some rest. Sleep is so important. Ive only come to realize how important it is to ones health and mental wellbeing in recent years. T.T

The post of gyu vs tyun quote and the weekend song call out my name is too painfullll. Why whyyyy

I think that tyun would only write one letter and that it would be angry but that you could still tell his pain behind it all. I'm kind of imagining a wolf alone in the cold all sharp teeth threats and snarling but you can see the fear and pain and disorientation in it's eyes and it's shivering body. Like it will kill you if you come closer but it's also scared to death/in pain. That's just the image I have right now of Tyun after OC leaves. I also think he would write the letter in the earlier stages and if he did write a second one it would be not angry or emotional at all it would be very controlled and emotionless but a clear threat. ie come back/bring my wife back/you will be punished for your crimes of sluttery.

Will this be the rise of stannis like Tyun? I'm scared. But I also dont think he'll get over the pain so quickly/shut down completely at least not yet immediately even if outwardly he's act all cold, ruthless and dead inside. I feel like he'll be unhinged (but "reasonably" justify it). Like how he was with kai when he made him behead his best friend.

YOH imagine somehow Tyun forces OC to murder Gyu? But also wasn't there a spoiler about Tyun getting captured by Gyu or am I imagining it?

I feel like Tyun is going to launch an unhinged kidnapping attempt to get OC back and then get captured and tortured by Gyu, but Gyu will act like Tyun was trying to "assassinate the rest of the royal family".

Also, I have a third option besides Tyun not confessing even if one of them dies or confessing when she dies, or he dies in the last moment.

What if he confesses, he was falling in love with her and that he did love her but that she killed that love, and the situation would be Gyu was killed by Tyun, and she is now back with Tyun as his wife and he won't kill her "showing her mercy" like she always wanted him to be more merciful right? (Him being sarcastic basically) but actually doing it so that she can't be reunited with Gyu in the afterlife(yet). And as a team lord tyun this kills me to write I don't want my lil meow meow to turn into stannis. This doesn't really make much sense story wise but I just thought if there could be a third horrible way that he confesses his love.

I honestly dont know who she'll end up with I also dont even know who I want her to end up with. Because either way it would be horrible somehow. OC is destined not to have a happy ending.

Oh i just thought of something horrible what if oc does get pregnant with Tyuns child and then she obvi always wanted a family and such so i dont think shed want to abandon the child or yeet it because of her own trauma with being abandoned as a kid. But Gyu would obviously hate the Kid and want to kill it even worse if the kid has Tyuns eyes, like the kid looks like OC mostly but has Tyuns eyes and smile. This would kill OC and Gyu especially if Gyu killed Tyun. and also, if Tyun knew oc was pregnant (that's why he recklessly tries to kidnap her back) but Gyu kills him and then he'll be so miserable whilst dying because he'll know his kid will likely be abused or killed by Gyu. I don't know why I'm writing all these horrible and worst-case scenarios because I feel sad now lol.

Anyways dont worry about the next chapter just post it whenever you are ready and however you want to post it. We will gobble it up like the YAMQN sluts that we are.

it's super important but i get too much sleep honestly which is also bad for you lmao like i usually sleep 12 hours a day 💀 i wanna stop but idk i just feel tired otherwise :')

yes yessss i agree so much. he would write one angry or emotional message in a moment of weakness but then not send anything again other than a formal threatening message after he collected himself. and your description of tyun after oc left him? impeccable! i couldn't have written it better that's exactly him!

"you will be punished for your crimes of sluttery." pfffft that made me laugh 😂

"YOH imagine somehow Tyun forces OC to murder Gyu?" remember when oc had this thought after watching kai behead jaeyun? "Will Taehyun one day force you to kill someone you love too? Will he make you kill Beomgyu? Or will your head be on the chopping block instead?" 💀

no there wasn't a teaser about gyu capturing taehyun i think it was just some anons speculating

"What if he confesses, he was falling in love with her and that he did love her but that she killed that love, and the situation would be Gyu was killed by Tyun, and she is now back with Tyun as his wife and he won't kill her "showing her mercy" like she always wanted him to be more merciful right?" fuukkkkkkk that would be so ironic and cruel but it's also so taehyun. maybe he even has some remaining sentiment towards her and doesn't actually want to kill her but at the same time he's so fucked up from what she did that he'd never show her affection again and she'd be forced to live in a cold loveless marriage with him knowing that her soulmate died and the one man who wanted to help her now hates her 😭 honestly there are a million ways this fic can end and they're all so good that i sometimes think of changing the ending but i gotta stick to my guns even if my original ending isn't the best lol i just built up to it for so long to change my mind now

"shed want to abandon the child or yeet it" STOP 😭😭😭

"worse if the kid has Tyuns eyes, like the kid looks like OC mostly but has Tyuns eyes and smile." fuck this is sooooo gooood omg like it would look like oc so gyu wouldn't want to hurt it but it also would have tyun's grey eyes and every time it would smile, gyu would see tyun's smile 😭😭 fuck he'd be living in torment everyday and oc too especially if tyun dies she'd have a living breathing reminder of what she did to tyun

you have such good ideas i love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️