#and they were just having a poly bro moment

[iamanoccasionaldoodler]

I THOUGHT THE DADDY THING WAS IRONIC WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS PYRRHA DVE

[gender-euphowrya]

SO i finally boyfriended astarion and gale hit me with ''oh..... i thought we had something going on :('' and. i have never done anything to romance him gkfjdkdk what's he getting all jealous for

[ellecdc]

Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫

But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!

Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.

Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.

Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵

......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈

poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)

Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.

Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.

But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.

His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.

Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.

If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.

But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.

One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 

He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 

And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.

He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.

So yeah, Sirius was pissed.

And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 

Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.

Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?

Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 

And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 

And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.

But Sirius did know better.

“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.

Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”

“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.

“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.

“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”

“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”

Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”

“Hi Reggie!” 

“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 

“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.

Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.

Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.

It made Sirius sick. 

“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 

You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.

Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.

“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.

You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.

“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.

“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 

Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.

“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 

“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 

“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.

“What?” Sirius squawked.

“Be nice.” He chided.

“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 

“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.

“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.

Sirius hated every single one of them.

But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 

Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.

“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.

Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.

Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?

Except...you breezed right past him.

“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.

“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.

“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.

“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.

Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.

What the fuck was going on right now!? 

“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.

You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 

“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.

“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 

You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”

His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.

“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”

Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.

“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”

You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.

“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 

Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”

“No.” Sirius muttered. 

“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”

And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...

Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.

Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...

Love.

A lot of love. 

“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.

“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 

“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.

“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.

“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 

“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 

“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.

Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.

Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...

Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.

And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 

Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 

“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.

Literally.

“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 

“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.

Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.

“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 

“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.

“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.

“Pads...”

“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  

“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”

The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”

“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.

“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”

Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”

“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.

“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.

Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.

“Remus.” Regulus warned.

Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.

“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”

“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 

“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 

“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  

don't hate me

[bitchlessdino]

Sweet Darling (m)

Pairing: tinkerbell's son!chan x fem!reader x Hook's son!wonwoo

Genre: smut

Word count: 6.6k

tags: daugther of wendy!reader, established relationship, yearning, poly, wonchan doing what bros do, suggestive mlm content, cunnilingus, voyeurism, exhibitionism, hair pulling, dirty talk, Silk restraints, praise kink , spitting, cum eating, cumswapping, unprotected sex, double penetration.

Summary: "Trouble in paradise with little Darling?" Chan was really unsure taking the advice from a child of Hook, but as a man in love, Chan knew the heavier the risks, the higher the reward.

author note : I have a bagillion requests to get to but here comes more self-indulgent fics! thank you @wonwussy and @multi-kpop-fanfics (happy birthday my pretty darling 💗) for beta reading and below are some of my fave notes of theirs :)))))))))))

"NOT WONWOO JUST SHOWING UP" "Wonwoo is Chan’s biggest supporter" - SJ "chan was brave I would have cum on the spot" "wonwoo pirate whore confirmed" -zeta

Tagging: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han

Chan has been the happiest he's ever been in a long time. As a child of one of the legendary fairies of the century, Chan had a lot to live up to. His mother has worked hard to prepare him for their line of work and she’d be damned to know she poured her blood sweat and tears into him getting into a good university to find out he was dating the daughter of Wendy Darling of all people. 

Chan’s mother could never stand that so called ‘wretched girl’–always sticking her nose in places she shouldn’t have been–and it’d be an extra hot day in hell if Chan was ever caught fraternizing with such the likes.

That’s why he had kept it such a secret. Although Chan loves and respects his mother, the moment he laid his eyes on Darling kin, he knew it was over. It was a forbidden affair that may have initially swayed his decision-making in pursuing you, but over time, he had truly fallen for you, calling the first time he saw you ‘love at first sight.’

You stunned everyone with your effortless beauty and grace and eventually, they began to learn more about your kind heart and demure demeanor. It was inevitable that everyone became enamored by you, including Chan. 

Being able to take you to the formal was a dream come true. What surprised him the most was that you seemed just as infatuated with him and that it wasn’t just a pity date or a yes disguised as something else, you actually enjoyed his company. But it wasn't enough that you liked him. He wanted you to be irrevocably taken by him. 

He had to occupy your every day, your every thought, your every breath. You had to be obsessed with the fact that there is no other person in the world for you. At least not like Chan. No one was like Chan. Just as there was no one like you. For you, you deserved something special.

"Wonwoo, you're a heathen. How do you bring excitement to the…you know?”

The young pirate raised a full brow, eye twitching back at the pestering fairy who had just insulted him like nothing. “No l don't know. What?”

“You know. The pleasure.”

Despite their families opposing histories, Chan and Wonwoo fairly got along. They were acquaintances at most and were typically surrounded the mutual friends, today was different seeing as everyone else was busy with the matters of classes and assignments. Eating with someone was better than eating alone, according to Chan, and it seems Wonwoo shared the same sentiment as he willingly agreed. 

Chan had his annoying moments–Wonwoo found most fairies naturally have those kinds of qualities, just take Chan’s mother as an example–but the blonde lad was entertaining when he wanted to be in a rather whimsically endearing way. Wonwoo normally found those individuals disgustingly nauseating, but it worked on Chan.

Wonwoo grinned knowingly. He leaned over from the picnic bench, a palm to his cheek. With the tree towering over him, shadows caressing his face aesthetically. “What's that?”

Chan let out an exasperated exhale, lightly tugging his bright blond hair. “Sex, Wonwoo! I'm talking about Sex!”

“Why? Trouble in paradise with little Darling?”

Word got around about Chan’s relationship with Wendy Darling’s darling daughter closer to the day of the formal, but that was before the scene the conflict containing the beast’s child, Gaston’s son, and apparently Ariel’s son. Wonwoo could never properly keep up with peer gossip as it was usually blown out of proportion (most of the time that it, this cup of tea was rather scorching).

Chan scowled at the accusation. “Of course not!” He twiddled his fingers, bottom lip jutting out. “l just want to make it more special for her this weekend. Seeing as you have more than enough trolloping in your history to count as a human brothel, l thought it'd be interesting to get your ideas.”

If Wonwoo took offense to Chan’s jab, he didn’t show it, and instead asked, “Your lady like knots?”

“Like ones slathered in garlic sauce?”

“...No. Like rope.”

Chan’s eyes rounded out in concern. “Wouldn't that hurt?”

The young fairy’s expression amused Wonwoo, a chuckle escaping him. “No, not if you do it right. Never mind. Let's start with something easier. How do you kiss?”

Chan broke out in a wide smile reliving your many kisses and his cheeks emitted a tinge of pink. “Well, she kisses lovely. Rather shy. l just make sure she's comfortable.”

“Snore. No wonder you need my help. Come here. I'll show you.”

“Show me?” Chan repeated, leaning his body away with arms crossed into an ‘X’ over his chest. “Why, you must’ve confused me with a harlot such as yourself.”

“Calm down twinkle toes, I’m not here to corrupt you”–although the thought was tempting–“I’m just going to show you the right ways to do things.”

Wonwoo redirected himself now next to Chan, sitting on the same picnic side parallel to him. He told Chan to meet him at eye level, causing the other to sit up straight. Wonwoo took the side of his face, “Now listen carefully.”

A shudder suddenly went down Chan’s spine. “W-where is this really going?”

“You asked for my help,” Wonwoo reminded, grin taunting back at Chan, “don’t be scared.”

Wonwoo’s hand crept on the back of Chan’s neck, rough fingers threading up his blond locks. “You’re gonna want to play with her hair.” Wonwoo let the locks glide between his digits gently, curling at the ends, and Chan could feel micro hairs stand on his arms. “Like that, okay?”

“Mm-hmm.” Chan croaked.

“Good, now answer looking back at me.”

Chan hadn’t noticed at first, but instead of looking back into Wonwoo’s eyes, he had been actively avoiding. The blonde had himself force his eyes back on his company. “Y–yes.”

“Alright.” Wonwoo tilted the angle of Chan’s face, utilizing his thumb, and began leaning closer, his breath tickling the blonde’s cheek. Chan visibly swallowed, blinking back in quiet anticipation. Wonwoo's eyelids drop gently, and his lips–startlingly plump and pink–began to part. “Now when you’re this close, you give her the chance to breathe. Let her learn patience. Tease that patience. Let it fester.”

“Yeah, s-sure.” Chan responded, his heart building up until it was hitting a million beats a minute, at least it felt that way.

“You only get closer from there,” Wonwoo added. He inched closer and closer, lips only mere atoms away, and Chan can’t help but shoot his eyes up in alarm. But Wonwoo just kept talking, soothing and deep, alluring even to Chan. “You can feel how excited she is from here, her heart probably erratic from the distance.” 

Chan developed a deeper red on his cheeks, relating all too well to that statement, but of course not the exciting part. That was reserved for you. Yet, his mind ran through a thousand different questions, one of them being why he wasn’t entirely repulsed by this. “Finally at the right time, your lips meet. It's warm, his comforting, and you take advantage of that pressure until it's hungry, gritty, starving.”

Chan sighed without thinking, already accepting his fate. Then Wonwoo’s lips stretched over his face in that devilish smile withdrawing, the warmth that once there taking a leap away from Chan. “She won’t know what’s coming to her. You're welcome.”

The oxygen knocked out Chan’s lungs, pulling him back to the present. He jumped up from his seat to collect himself, obviously clearing his throat before picking up his things. "Uh, thanks, ahem, Wonwoo. That helps."

“Anytime, Chan.”

Chan got up to leave soon after, trying to melt the image of Wonwoo from his brain, but he got what he needed. Wonwoo, despite his less-than-orthodox methods, knew what he was talking about. Chan would just have to trust his word.

That same night, Chan had put his friend's advice to the test. He called you over for an at-home date night and he was already itching to see the magic from the lesson. You playfully held the bottom of the hem of his shirt, taking short bursts of kisses Chan lands against your lips. 

You hard fell into a natural rhythm with this routine, seeing as he was a little predictable. However, when he ran his fingers through your hair, your giggles melted into moans, skin stinging with every puncturing touch of his digits digging into your scalp and putting at your hair. Your bodies entangle with one another and naturally fell against the firm surface of his mattress, hips pressing into one another until your kisses fell more languid and deep.

“Chan,” you whispered, getting quite comfortable with this new side of him, "Well, that was rather different."

"Do you like that,” he asked softly, eyes still rounded like a puppy dog claiming his treat.

"Very much yes," you reeled him in closer, "What else can you do ?"

Chan thinks of an answer but fell flat. His mind just went completely blank from your question and now the arousal he once felt died along with his movement. He stuttered with his words, ashamed by his inability to respond and his uncertainty take the next steps, and he’s already pulling apart from you. Performance anxiety. It gets to everyone at some point eventually. "I'm sorry."

You sat up next to him, your brows dipped in concern. Your hand glided over his back, stroking in order to soothe his nerves. "What's wrong? Why are you apologizing?"

"I just wanted it to be perfect." He admitted.

He’s had his modest share of intimate partners but none were like you, who he was impossibly infatuated with.

"The first time isn't always is. We knew that."

"But 'ours' should be. I even asked the pirate for help.” He pulled at the tufts of his blonde, shutting his eyes tight in frustration.

Your eyes shot open, "You asked Wonwoo for help? What good would he do?"

"He just knows these kinds of things better than I do." Chan sighed.

"Say that again, I need that as my ringtone." Wonwoo, out of thin air, appears before you both, smickering at the painfully awkward sight leaning up against the door frame of Chan’s bedroom. "There really is trouble in paradise."

Cham jumped up from the bed, shocked at his appearance. "How did you get in here?"

"Pixie dust,” Wonwoo answered sarcastically before pointing his thumb back into the living room, "Your door was unlocked. Everyone could hear your–well lack of–sex life."

Chan fell back into bed, embarrassed beyond repair. "Kill me now."

"That won't be necessary," Wonwoo reassured, relieving himself of his burly coat as it dropped to the ground. “I said I’d help.”

Chan huffed, sneering back at the pirate, “I see what this is. I come to you with advice on being a better lover and you sabotage me by ‘pillaging’ and ‘plundering’ my beloved.”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, “I don’t ‘pillage’ or ‘plunder’ people. Even if I did, your Darling wouldn’t be one of them. I am an honest pirate.”

“An ‘honest pirate’ frankly sounds like an oxymoron.” Chan rebutted. 

Wonwoo was getting annoyed by Chan’s accusation but every damn nerve in him told him to stay against his better judgment. He crossed his arms, looking back at Chan sternly, “Look, you can argue with me all day, but every second you argue, is a second longer your little girlfriend doesn’t get to cum, so be my guest, insect.”

Chan scoffed, hands on hips. Offended didn’t even begin to start describing how Wonwoo made him feel.  “Fine. Let’s see how you do it then!”

“Chan!” You interrupted, cheeks hot from the lingering embarrassment of knowing you and your boyfriend had gotten caught in the midst of your activities. Wonwoo, the cheekiest pirate that everyone on campus knew, just so happened to know the intimate details of it before stumbling upon it in real-time, and now seconds away from being involved due to your boyfriend’s reflex to prove someone wrong.

Chan’s anger dissipated upon hearing your voice, immediately coming to your side. “I’m sorry, my love. That just came out. Of course, nothing will happen. Not without your permission.”

Your eyes shift from your boyfriend to the intruder, who pirated all over your intimate moment. You should’ve been mad you were interrupted, you should’ve been mad that Chan brought up your private details with someone on the outside, but all you couldn’t help but feel was intrigued. The fact that Chan was fine with another man joining was surprising, to say the least, but you’d be lying if you had thought it was a rather appealing image that sent arousal between your legs. 

You clenched your thighs together, comparing Chan’s soft gaze with Wonwoo’s cocky one, eventually nodding your head in bashful interest. “It’s new, and rather different than what I’m used to, but If it’s something you’re willing to try, I am too.”

Chan smiled gratefully, pressing a kiss to your lips, before turning back to Wonwoo with a slight scowl. “Okay, what did you have in mind, pirate?”

Wonwoo grinned, proceeding to walk closer to the couple before joining them at the corner of the bed, dressed down in a simple black shirt and black ripped jeans. “Baby steps, what I’ve already taught you at lunch today.”

“He taught you something?” You questioned in bemusement.

Chan tried filtering through the blush on his cheeks but failed. “It’s not what you think, he just…gave me some direction.”

“Since I’ve shown Chan what to do,” Wonwoo’s hands came up to rest on your shoulder, burning hot against you, “It’s time I show you what to do, little Darling.”

You’ve always had a hate/love relationship with the endearment ‘Darling.’ Since it was your family name, it came with the repercussions that everyone thought it’d be okay to refer to you as such instead of your given name, but hearing how it rolled off Wonwoo’s tongue sounded like pure sex. 

“You touch her in a way she resists, I’ll kill you, Jones.” Chan threatened. 

“Relax, I won’t. Milady, do you consent to me kissing you?”

You nodded, watching as he inched closer to meet you at eye level. “As I said with Chan, It’s all about the teasing, the build-up for the kiss.”

Chan watched over patiently as Wonwoo did the same steps he learned today: the touching of the hair, the gradual closing of each other’s body, his breath visibly lingering close enough to your lips that you could make out the spearmint gum he’s been chewing. Wonwoo smiled to see how much more cooperative you were compared to Chan, who was already fuming at the sight.

“You caught up now, Miss Y/n?”

“I-I think so.”

“Good. Now I’ll show you what I haven't shown Chan, but you’ll be teaching him soon after, alright?”

You quietly nodded. Soon, Wonwoo met your lips for the first time, tasting, and reveling in sweetness that was supposed to be Chan’s and only Chan’s. Anger fueled the young fairy, his knuckles turning white from balling his hand in fists, but it soon melted seeing your face.

Wonwoo kissed differently from Chan, not in a way that was better or worse, but it opened your body to a new possibility you haven’t explored yet. The pirate’s hand traveled from your face to your side, pulling you by the hip towards him, in turn releasing a yelp down his throat. You made no protest, seeing as the action only enhanced the current situation, and you feel your hands move on him just as naturally, playing at the buttons of his shirt.

His tongue caressed your lips for entry and you gave access, having now your saliva mixing in an obscenely decadent way. You moaned moving closer to him, your knees now digging into the mattress in the process, lost in heat. Your body arched into his, feeling the firm definition beneath his clothes. It felt so different and wrong and addictive. 

“My love,” Chan breathed out. The complex emotions running through him made the fairy’s possessive nature conflict with the arousal stemming from such an erotic scene unfolding. All that was clear was that his pants were tightening at the crotch.

You immediately pulled away from Wonwoo at the sound of Chan's soft timbre, a hand to your mouth, shocked by your own actions. “Have I–oh, dear.”

Chan shook his head, “Not like that, Y/n, I’ve just realized now how beautiful you look needy and desperate. It’s…exhilarating.”

You covered your face, hiding behind his deliciously sinful words, typing to ignore the damp tension you tried so hard to clench away. Wonwoo simply chuckles, “She’s a natural.” He pulled your hands away from your face, gentle encouragement in his surprisingly kind eyes. Kind for a pirate anyway. “Time for you to show, Chan. Do exactly as I’ve taught you, and he will follow. He’s a good student too.”

You quickly returned to Chan, need flooding every orifice of your body before catching him in a liplock. You made use of your lesson, playing with Chan's hair, trailing your hands over Chan’s body, and letting your lips follow the pace of your heart, practically devouring the plush cushion of Chan’s lips. Chan mimicked your movement to a tee, catching up at sonic speed, and you could feel his pulse quicken beneath the palm of your hand. 

“That’s it,” Wonwoo led, “Chan, don’t be shy about doing things out of the box too, she wants you just as much as you want her.”

Being a high-achieving student, Chan pulled you in his lap, straddling him, where you were grinding against him like a pair of horny teenagers. His hands found home on your chest, cupping the fullness of your breasts through your clothes. An obscene moan followed soon after.

“Atta-boy.”

Chan smiled at Wonwoo’s sincere rally before continuing to work into your liplock, that was hardly working at all seeing how seamlessly your bodies meshed like one. Slowly, articles of clothing began coming apart from your bodies, skin exposing without a second thought until you were only left in your underwear. You could practically feel yourself dripping between your legs, and at this point, you would be actively worried about it getting on Chan’s thighs, but you were too lust blind that the thought never reached your brain.

Chan’s newly acclimated fascination with your breasts had him appreciating them to their entirety, feeling how the peaks hardened under his touch and tasted on his tongue. His only regret was that he didn’t learn it so much sooner. Then came your body, soft and lively under his fingertips. He could feel every goosebump, every curve, every delicate feature of your body, unable to believe you’d given yourself to him like this. Balls of flesh in his hand, he held you like a man gone mad, crotch thrusting into you as if his erection was seconds away from busting right out from his pants.

Meanwhile, your hands glided over Chan’s sculpted muscles, internally squealing at their firmness while moisture flooded your core. For a fairy, everyone expected them to be dainty and delicate, much due to the attention they placed on their magic rather than physical labor, but beneath Chan’s pristine exterior, he was rugged. 

The valleys of his abdomen were deep, making your hands slide through like butter, and his arms–both large and built to provide safety–embraced you with blistering heat. Your mouth water at the simple thought of them pinning you against a flat surface, your feet far from touching the ground. God, his body was made for worship to the level of a deity and you would take all of eternity to do it. “Mmh, Chan…”

His hand in your hair stroked it sweetly, but his teeth pulled at your bottom lip’s resistance, “All for you, my love. Tear me away, lash at me, bring me in ruin. I am at your beck and call.”

“So glad you mentioned that, Chan,” Wonwoo obnoxiously interrupted, “because you’re going to do something for Y/n that I’m sure you’ll both very much enjoy.”

Wonwoo directed you to sit up against the bed frame while he handed something off to Chan, whispering in his ear. Chan accepted it before making his way to you, parting your legs with the nudge of his knee. His smile is unwavering as he reached down for your hands, thumbing over the back of them. Abruptly, he took them both above your head, having you stare back at him anxiously. Utilizing what Wonwoo gave him personally, a single silk scarf, Chan tied you down at your wrists, looping them through on the nook of the bedframe to ensure escape wasn’t an option.

“He said they’d be better than rope.” Chan blushed. “At least, I won’t have to worry about you getting hurt.”

“What are you going to do to me, Chan?” You asked slightly afraid, but your fear is overwhelmed by the presence of thrill.

Still smiling, he doesn’t answer and instead lowers his body, hands smoothing over your legs. Wonwoo, who previously had just been watching aside from your kiss, sat behind Chan, watching the tremble of your legs and you couldn’t help but feel naked under his gaze. Chan's kisses feathered over your inner thighs, teeth nipping at you during his slow entry, and his arms came up beneath you to tug you against his lips. 

“Oh…” You let out, feeling his mouth move against your molten core.

“You’re so wet for me, my love, mmh…”

Chan’s tender love has yet to be translated into sexual initiation until this very moment and, damn, it was the most amazing thing you’ve ever experienced. His whispers tickled your skin before it was captured by his mouth. Teeth colliding with your folds, the light strokes of his tongue, you can feel how he’s careful, appreciating every fold, making sweet sweet love your messy core. Then, Chan pressed deeper, exploring your warmth, ravaging you, and cushioning his cheeks with your thighs. He groaned into his feast, sending vibrations up your body.

Your eyes fluttered out of bliss, whining about your inability to touch his soft hair or pet his handsome face, instead, you could gaze back at him, crying out his name until your throat would give out.

“Isn’t he pretty,” Wonwoo commented, his hand ran through Chan's thick locks, taunting you with his free hands, and a growl ran low in your throat. “He’s just eating you right up. Tongue buried in your pussy…lips wet with your sweet syrup…he’s obsessed with you little Darling.”

You slightly glared back at Wonwoo, loathing the accuracy of his words, but the distraction Chan is causing made it difficult to manage. Your legs wrung on either side of your boyfriend’s head, chest alleviating the harsh breaths escaping your lungs and to your demise, and that only amused Wonwoo more.

“Chan, you can do better than that,” the pirate encouraged, now curling his hair between his fingers, “Let me help.”

Wonwoo’s fingers threaded through Chan’s bedhead now rougher, mercilessly, he pressed Chan’s face deeper into your warmth, your collective moans bouncing off the walls. Your fingers curled in anguish, the heat of Chan’s tongue so far inside of you made you madder than the local hatter. Wonwoo was more than satisfied by both of your responses and rewarded your boyfriend with a light stroke to his head, ebbing out the cute whines from the blonde.

“Don’t forget to look up, Chan.” Wonwoo pulled Chan’s head slightly back, lips still on you, now watching you with a mindless glow. Blown-out eyes stared back at you in hunger, the image of your malleable state burning into the very depth of his soul. “Take a good look at that face. Listen to her moans. Isn’t she the most darling of Darlings? Chan, you lucky dog.”

“I am lucky,” Chan mumbled, before running tired stripes up your slit, mesmerized by the slow drop of your swollen upper lips, drool falling out of the corner. Rounding out his mouth, suctioned to your entrance, and in doing so you only get louder, whinier, needier. “My love tastes so sweet in my mouth.”

Chan was too good of a listener and Wonwoo took full advantage. Per the pirate's instructions, Chan’s lips wrapped around your clit, the presence of his fingers claiming the spot of his tongue. They pushed in and out of you addictively, following the clench of your sopping cunt, and gushing out your scent that later drips down his forearm. How wet it was, how animalistic it looked, the melody of your voices joined together in sinful harmony brought shivers to Wonwoo’s spine. He couldn’t be more proud. It was like he was watching Chan’s congratulatory ceremony, the diploma being you coming apart before both the men’s eyes.

“I’m—Mmh—gonna cum…Chan please…”

“You heard her, Chan, make her dirty little cunt cum in your mouth…that’s it…just like that,” Wonwoo returns his attention to you, “Do it, little darling, defile his pretty little mouth. Make it that it's only your cum he tastes for weeks.”

The vulgar language pushed you to the edge, bucking your lips until you vibrate like a toy against Chan. Your voice resonates throughout the room. This put no stop to Chan letting it linger, fingers ramming inside you in slick friction as you gush in his mouth like candy. All the blonde does is chuckles, collecting your nectar in his mouth.

“Good boy, Chan,” Wonwoo complimented, “Now spit it in her mouth.”

Chan was quick on his feet, letting sweetness fall above from his lips into your mouth in crystal clear ribbons in a rough spat. He held a smile so wide and manic on his face, he was unrecognizable. You took every bit of it it, savoring you on his lips and tongue before Wonwoo commanded, “Again” and Chan’s back on your pussy for seconds.

You were already recovering from orgasm milliseconds before now you were going to take another. Chan got less timid over time, even spitting his findings back into you. His intoxicating chuckles played in your ears, flushing your skin, and if he ate you out like this every day of every hour, you would not complain.

Wonwoo, the director and mere spectator didn’t let himself get too involved, only palming his erection while he enjoyed the show. His hand would occasionally come back against Chan’s hair, leading him in the right direction, but when your third—oh was ít fourth—orgasm unfolded, he decided it was enough of an appetizer.

“Chan, be a gentleman and fuck her pretty cunt. I can tell she’s just dying for it.”

Chan got up to reconnect lips with you, “That true?” He asked, your climax coating your lips, “You want me to fuck your pretty, sopping pussy, love?”

You let out a guttural moan, tension building in your lower abdomen, “Mmh, yes, please. I need your cock in me…”

Wonwoo hummed a song of glee. “Oh, Little Darling’s got a mouth, huh? Let’s see how you can take him.”

They position you on your back, tits falling gracefully in the center of your chest as Chan’s slid his raw length up your wet slit. You whimpered seeing his size, desperate to have him inside you. When he gives you that pleasure, your head is thrown back into the pillow, the stretch of his cock throwing you for a loop. “Fuck, Chan…”

“You feel…fuck…you feel so…fuck…”

Chan fucked like how he talked, sweet and tender. Your thrill traveled up your entire body despite the many times you’ve finished, clenching around him with your legs joined to his hips. His pace gradually accelerated the moment his voice gravelly, biting his lips down, seeing pleasure contort your beautiful face into something even more devastatingly arousing. His cock was a perfect fit, fucking you like you were made for him and he almost forgets that Wonwoo is still here, watching so patiently. Almost.

“Wonwoo.”

At the call of his name, the pirate turned to Chan curiously, hand still over his pants. “Yes, pet?”

“I want your mouth on her pussy, now.”

“Chan,” Wonwoo exclaimed, wildly impressed.

“Do it before I change my mind, heathen.”

Wonwoo pulled himself up and into action. His hands pull his shirt over his head to avoid a mess, giving you a glimpse of the athleticism the pirate had etched into his also very beautiful, stunning body before he faced your groin, lips centimeters away from your round, glossy bud. “Miss Y/n.”

“Wonwoo,” You timidly greeted him between pants.

“I’m going to enjoy this, just as much as you’ll enjoy cumming a fifth time today.”

His long tongue slithers like a snake, dangling it closer to cock filled core before latching against your soft clit. Your eyes momentarily rolled to the back of your head before landing it back on Wonwoo, seeing the taut expression of a man that's off his leash. Kitten licks would simply not do in this case.

His hands held you still, eyelids half open to watch you practically melt upon him, “Perfect little clit…on a perfect little pussy…on a perfectly Darling girl.”

The pure tension in your body had hit you harder than expected. It threw your back to a perfect arch, balancing between a cock as perfect as Chan's thrusting inside you, while Wonwoo sucked on you like a lolly. The pirate’s hands traveled up your body, memorizing the shape of your warm tits. His tongue drew shapes against you, circling and spreading your moisture, while at the same time, you found him rolling your hard nipples between the pads of his fingers. 

“Shit, shit, shit…”

“Taking his cock so well, little Darling,” Wonwoo complimented in a husky voice, “Isn’t she, Chan?”

“She’s…taking me…perfectly,” Chan agreed in a breathless voice.

“You want him to fill you with his cum.” Wonwoo bit his lip, using one hand to squeeze your clit, swelling it up until you're practically screaming. “Isn’t that right?”

Your eyes watered, hot from the heat of–well everything–and only nodded before weakly yelping out a curt, “Yes.”

Chan could just feel how you pulse around him, knowing you weren’t lying. His eyes fell shut, ramming in you faster, harder, the slapping of your skin loud and clear of his efforts, he lets out a harsh groan, telling himself, he can take just a little more.

“Take it,” Wonwoo commanded, “Cum all over his cock before he decides to cum in you. It’s the least you can do.”

The pirate read Chan’s mind like an automated teleprompter, with a newfound gratitude for his friend.

“…Take my cum, Y/n,” Chan repeated with stolen breath, “take all of it.”

To no one’s surprise, their words led you to take another fat, harsh orgasm, bucking your hips. Chan followed suit. His cum came in waves with loud raspy groans, clutching your thighs until he coated you inside creamy white. His final thrust came sensationally deep, filling you to the brim. Full was an understatement.

A mixture of your climax seeped out from your cunt when Chan pulled out, your pretty pussy now gorgeously adorned with vicious nectar. Wonwoo seized the opportunity in a snap move. His mouth didn’t hesitate to take your sensitive pussy entirely in his mouth, sucking out every bit of cum left inside you, leaving only the sounds of squelching and his groaning at the delectable taste.

“Fuck, Wonwoo,” you couldn’t help but call out and Chan doesn’t even get a second to be mad at another man eating out his girlfriend. Instead, somehow he’s entranced at how quick Wonwoo was to clean up a mess he wasn’t even responsible for.

“Fuck,” Chan echoed, almost just as turned out by seeing Wonwoo eat up the cum as much as Chan was making it, leaving some unanswered questions to float in the charged air.

Once Wonwoo was finished, he crashed into your lips, feeding you the remnants left on his tongue. “A bidding gift.”

You blinked back in surprise, “You’re leaving?”

“I was only supposed to help your sex lives. I wasn't meant to join in, Little Darling.”

“But you’re here anyway.” Wonwoo's eyes flickered to the fairy, the last person he thought would protest. “You might as well finish what you started, pirate.”

“And you wouldn’t mind?” Wonwoo questions.

“As long as it's consensual. Plus…it’s not like your extra leg is going anywhere time soon.”

Wonwoo chortled at Chan’s innuendo, briefly looking down at the erection in his pants, still very angry and stiff, before nodding. “Alright then. Your turn to lead, pet.”

Wonwoo wore a condom in respect for Chan, exposing his size for the first time. Your eyes locked on Wonwoo’s cock like it was forbidden fruit, watching how it curled up to his stomach before he settled closer to you and Chan. 

Chan guided you back to him, bruising your lips in a method that was foreign until now. His teeth found your lips in a soft tug and you gasped as he pushed your naked body back on the bed, devouring your lips until he shifted you on top of him. The curve of his wet cock slapped back at your stomach, making you reminisce on how he had just felt inside you.

“So beautiful…You took my cock so well, now you’re gonna take it along with Wonwoo’s. You think your little pussy can fit in all the cock, hmm?”

“Yes, yes, give it to me please…”

He moaned at your desperation, tongue swiping over his bottom lip, “Put it in for me then, love.”

You obeyed, finding his length, slathering arousal up and down, before sliding it inside you. The friction is momentarily more manageable, but it doesn’t stop your moans that inevitably fell out. He found the curve of your ass and bounced you on his lap. Your hands, once trapped in silk, were now roaming in his hair, smiling against his lips as you latched on to him.

Wonwoo steadied himself behind you, finding an opening. His hands settled against Chan’s and together they spread you evenly. Your pussy, already preoccupied with Chan’s presence, fluttered at him, like their version of a wink. “So pretty…God, both of you should see how Darling looks so good taking Chan’s pretty cock.

He inched closer, stroking up his length as he aligned it at your entry before easing himself between you and Chan. You dropped your jaw, the stretch of Wonwoo’s presence taking you by pleasant surprise, “Fuck, fuck…”

“So fucking wet.” Wonwoo tested with a single thrust, then another, each followed up by your winces that melted into mellow moans. “Mmh, your cunt feels so much better imagined…You’re taking up like a champion, Little Darling.”

Your forehead kissed Chan’s, hands iron gripped on the bed frame, you savored the pleasurable ache between your legs as their thrusts fucked your insides at their own varying pace. You weren’t too comfortable with using obscenities yourself, but today your vocabulary was comparative to a sailor’s, pouring your heart and soul into every comprehendible word that left your lips, and at that moment, there weren’t many. 

Chan kissed your temple, praising you in a lethally soft voice. His hand slid down your back misted in sweat, clutching you harder against him. He rocked into you so hard, he had slipped out, taking only a second to slide it back in you, “So soaked for me,” escaping between his heavy breaths. You screamed chants of a deity that would never come, tears blurring your vision until they fell against your cheeks.

“Mmh, you’re taking us so good, my love…How is it? How’s two cocks fucking you full to the brink of insanity?”

Even Wonwoo was blown away by the fairy’s choice of words, but hey, this wasn’t the first time Chan has surprised him today and hopefully, it wouldn’t be the last. “She probably can’t think being so full, isn’t that right, little darling? Our cocks fucking you stupid yet?”

You only answered in incomprehensive sounds, too preoccupied with the familiar strike of arousal about to hit you as they sped up. Your eyes fully rolled back into your skull and Chan could only see white in them. If he didn’t know better, he’d be worried, but the smile on your face indicated you were just fine. “So cock drunk she can’t even answer. How cute.”

“Let’s put her out of her misery and make her cum again. She surely won’t mind.”

And you didn’t, the carnal visceral sensations of their cocks joined to stretch you open, their mind-numbing rhythm bottoming out of you like heaven, and they together blossomed your hardest orgasm yet. Your muscles contracted, doubling over Chan in aguish, ripping your voice loud enough for both of them to hear. He caresses the back of your head while Wonwoo is buried in you deep by meeting his chest to your back, his groans now audibly down directly in your ear.

Chan caressed your face, “Cum, yes like that, you’re so beautiful…How can someone like you so beautiful exist?”

You sobbed into his shoulder, overwhelmed at all angles but ultimately broke under the tender warmth of his words. God, how could you ever be so lucky.

“Take my cum again for me, my love, and I’ll take care of you long after you’re asleep.”

You nodded, embracing him weakly, and Chan held you dearly along with Wonwoo for the finale. Bursts of white colored you inside-out, and you take every drop until they’re both empty. Your body grew fatigued from what felt like hours together and your mind takes a break, deeply knocked out on Chan’s bed. Chan leaves for a second, coming back with warm towels, friendly handing one off to Wonwoo. “Here.”

The pirate looked at it like a foreign object before accepting, seeing Chan take his own towel and dragged it over your mess of pussy in hopes of cleaning you dry. “Thanks for the assist, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo smiled, copying as he does but with himself, “You’re welcome, I had fun. I hope you did too.”

Chan blushed, turning back to Wonwoo rather hesitantly. “Surprisingly, I did. Hope I can live up to that again for her.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Thanks. I’ll have to do you a favor sometime…in thanks.”

Wonwoo joined his side, smiling rather cheekily, “I can think of a few ways.”

“If it involves Y/n and you alone, forget it.”

“Actually,” Wonwoo’s hand stung on the patch of skin on Chan’s smooth back, a cool draft hitting the young fairy, “it involves both of you. I’d love to do this again, and again. Maybe exclusively?”

“Are you asking to…be a couple with us, Wonwoo?”

The pirate chuckled at Chan’s innocent phrasing before landing a chaste kiss on his cheek, earning a look of shock on the fairy’s face, and getting up, his flaccid cock hanging in the cold air as naturally as if it were caveman times. “Think on it, insect, and if you’ll need me, I’ll be in the shower. A wet towel will certainly not be enough to get me clean.”

Wonwoo trodded off to the restroom across from Chan’s room and he leaves the door wide open. Chan feels like all the oxygen has been sucked out of his lungs, pondering the inexplicable words from another man he never imagined he would actually hesitate on and then there’s the sound of running water, following the low groan of Wonwoo reacting to its heat. Chan takes a deep exhale before deciding and it takes a total of two seconds for him to get up, walk through that bathroom door, and closed it behind him.

[keirawantstocry]

🐦‍⬛salut!

I really do tend to say "heres a small idea!" then throw a multi paragraph thing-

Anywho,

Vague poly mc idea.

Tubbo ranting to Foolish being homophobic™ about fit and pac.

And Foolish looks him dead in the eyes asking "you sure you arent just gay for them and upset at not being included"

"It's so fucking ridculous!" Tubbo cried falling back on the couch with his arms crossed like a petulant child.

Foolish stared at him, fed up. "You're ridiculous."

"No, I'm fucking not. You don't know how bad they are. It's so fucking annoying bro."

Foolish rolled his eyes. "What do they do that is sooooo annoying?"

"They won't stop flirting! If I have to hear big daddy or big boy one more time I'm going to shoot myself."

"Why?" Foolish asked again.

Tubbo glared at him. "Because it's gross."

"Why??"

Tubbo stared at him for a long moment. "What are you fucking talking about?"

"i just think you maybe haven't really taken a moment to consider why you actually hate it so much."

Tubbo blinked at him with a suprised expression. "Foolish what the fuck are you implying?"

"You're gay."

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?" Tubbo cried. "I'm a faggot, you're a faggot, what does that have to do with anything?"

Foolish sighed deeply. "I mean think about it. You were really close to them. I have witnessed you flirting with both of them on different occasions. It makes sense that you would be jealous of their relationship."

Tubbo gaped at him. "I'm not jealous of their relationship. Are you trying to imply that I have a crush on one of them?"

"No," Foolish said like it was the most ridiculous thing ever. "I'm implying you have a crush on both of them."

Tubbo's jaw fell farther open and he uttered no more words for the rest of the evening.

[pinkandpurple360]

”Everyone says making [Fizzarozzie] monogamous feels OOC” where are these people and can they please rescue me????

So often I’ve seen content where one or both are shipped with a different character/OC and the OP has a big fat disclaimer saying “it’s a poly relationship, Fizz/Ozzie has two hands, I’d never break up Fizzarozzie” etc.

And people STILL complain in the comments about how Fizzarozzie is monogamous and making them poly is OOC! “Fizz would get jealous of other partners, Ozzie has only ever felt love for Fizz and could never for anyone else, they say they’re the best thing that’s happened to each other so no one can ever compare to that, it defeats the point of the ship subverting lustful expectations and is less romantic if they’re poly, etc.”

And the fact that Viv is so mononormative makes it even worse.

Me, I think sarcastic chorus and other reviewer youtubers did too. Though you know I don’t always agree with their takes. This one I do though.

“It’s less romantic if they’re poly” there it is, mask off moment. That’s why this ship has become way too vanilla and heteronormative for me to fully enjoy. Poly relationships can be very romantic and tender as well. Prude. That’s how the fanon interpreted them up until now. With Ozzie being bisexual and fizz being gay adding a more interesting slant and potential dynamic we never see discussed much.

Oz has been around for six thousand years and only felt love for fizz -_- ? Is this going to be recycled stolitz where Oz saw him on stage and fell? That’s just…weird. And selfish. Regardless of romance, doesn’t he even love his sister? Have any friends? Way to trash a potentially interesting story and make a really cool guy into a bit of a loser…it hasn’t subverted anything my bros were just lying, band they’re the ones who created the expectations and forced them onto others so that they can make more money.

Still think Millie and Moxxie won’t ever be surpassed, once Millie works on herself and we see her shine, it’s over for everyone else.

[myaoiboy]

Can you try explain what you mean about Ocelot looking like a drag king in mgsv? I feel like your boyfriend in that I just. Don't see it? I'm trying to understand why Ocelot would even have that applied when he's always been just A Guy™

Okay so I'm going to try to do this without getting into Grad-Level 5D Queer Theory Media Criticism, but I also fully realize that in doing that, a lot of this is going to sound very much like I'm saying "Source: Just Trust Me Bro".

(anon i am SO sorry that you happen to be the first person to directly adress me about gender in MGS)

I also wanna be straight up front here and say that I'm not trying to imply that Ocelot is anything other than a guy, he's just also a guy who's playing a million roles (this is important) and lying to damn near everyone, including himself. He has some of the worst identity issues I've ever seen in a character, and that comes to a head in 4 where he literally isn't even *Ocelot* until the final moments of his life. So yes, for the sake of not writing War and Peace, I'm going to assume Ocelot is "just a guy" and come at this from a pure queer theory/media analysis standpoint, not a headcanon one.

So first it's really important to point out the order in which we see Ocelot through the series. In the timeline, the last time we see Ocelot before V is 3 (or PO which I haven't played due to its placement in canon-limbo, but Ocelot looks basically the same). So we see him go from A to B here.

I am going to say something potentially controversial: even before saw V ocelot, I thought 3 Ocelot looked like he was wearing drag *queen* makeup. I don't know whether it's intentional, or an attempt to circumvent the lower poly models and lower definition textures of the PS2, but the first image looks like someone who is going for a highly exaggerated, feminine cheek contour. Here's a few drag queens who, imo, do a very similar contour look:

Whether the color filter or the texturing of the PS2 or something else, the MGS3 version of Ocelot also has a look of mascara and frosted lipgloss (frosted lips being much more popular at the time of MGS3's original release than today, but alas).

So from that I was already very much primed to look for femininity in Ocelot's whole vibe. It was actually kind of jarring how much more rugged he is in V than in any of the previous games, to the extent that it sent up alarm bells in my head that something was going on.

I don't remember the moment that I went "hey, wait a minute," but it was certainly pretty early on. As someone who's been on tumblr a hella long time and remembers when we used to swap passing tips, the specific combination of facial features remind me of a very specific genre of "ftm makeup tutorials" that were also pretty contemporarily popular on tumblr. A very quick summary being mascara on the eyelashes and specific peach fuzz to give the impression of a squarer jaw and having more facial hair, as well as specific contouring to give a "masculine cheekbone." Most of these tips basically came directly from drag king makeup.

Gonna include some drag kings as well, some things to notice include the tendency towards using stubble as contouring and vice versa, the shaping of cheek contouring, and the tendency to accentuate mustache and sideburns.

I'm pretty bad at wording descriptions of hair and makeup so you'll have to forgive me for not going ham on explaining the similarities bc now we actually get to the interesting part which is: so fucking what? If this is true, if you take my word for it, what does it say about the text? If I want to make this argument to someone else, what can I say that will convince them that, even if it's not *intentional,* it's a valid and meaningful view of his character?

Like, you can make a character based on anything you want, but why does it matter whether Ocelot is based on drag either direction?

Ocelot's "drag"iness is multipurpose. One: he's queer. Like, I grant that he never comes out and says "I love 'Big "Naked 'John' Snake" Boss'" but we get a hell of a lot more confirmation that he's gay than we get straight confirmation for a lot of presumed-straight characters. I feel comfortable saying he's canon queer.

Two: it's a visual metaphor for being a double/triple agent. While he's literally performing several roles (KGB/GRU/CIA, or MSF/Real BB/US, or US/Patriots/BB, or anything in between), he's also visually playing two (or more) gender roles, a feminine man, a mannish woman, something neither or in-between. The implication of drag specifically is pretending to be something that he isn't (which he literally always is, holy shit, again, does he even know who he realiy is?).

And before anyone says "Well, if it's so important to his character, why did they wait until 3 to start doing it?" They didn't!!

This is THE most classically masculine that Ocelot ever looks. But there's still precious polygons invested into giving him long hair and a flowing coat. Working with sprites and low-poly models means having to very carefully select traits that you want to display on your character, and Ocelot's go into making him a cringefail cowboy.

The fact that he's a cowboy in itself is also pretty important to the whole gender/sexuality situation. I mean, Brokeback Mountain might not have been out yet, but the male-to-female ratio in the west meant a lot of men cozied up together on the frontier. Hell, hankey code comes from cowboy culture, with men wearing certain colors to announce who would take the "man" or "woman" role while square dancing.

I could go a lot into gender and how it works on a social/societal level in general and why that matters, but OOPS I have been writing this for a WHILE.

I was actually going to go a lot more into queer theory and gender in MGS in general but ngl, I could write a whole doctoral thesis on gender and how different characters perform or subvert gender. Because holy shit when you start peeling back the very thin macho facade of Kojima's work to do a feminist reading of it, boy howdy do you get. A whole lot to talk about. (ask me about death stranding sometime i dare you)

Basically what I'm trying to get across is that Ocelot has a lot of roles that he's playing and NOT playing, and more than a few of those are gender roles, which is very much visually symbolic of his character.

I am so sorry anon I have been thinking about him nonstop for a full year </3 I hope at least the first part of this answered your question about what features I see that scream drag to me.

[sorin-in-the-stars]

Lunch Crashing, I think I like you two. (pt. 1)

Lunch Crashing, I think I like you two.

Scaramouche x GN! reader x Childe

Contents : Modern Highschool Au, established relationship (Scara x reader) Oblivious Childe, ChiScara (slight in first part), Eventual Poly, ooc ChiScara

Summary : You and Scaramouche often eat lunch in a tucked away staircase in your school, so you can relax and cuddle without interruptions. Though Childe finds out and gets jealous. He is oblivious to the fact you two are dating, and has feelings for you. Scaramouche, is conflicted on his feelings for Childe. And so are you?

Requested? No.

Ao3 | masterlist

next

Wc : 1.9k

Bro this is the most ive written- im really happy with it. More parts are to come!!

“Hm, hey this class is boring. We should skip.” Childe said, poking the eraser side of his pencil into your side. He had a mischievous look on his face, smirking with his head leaned against his hand which was propped on the table you shared with him.

It was Science class and you were stuck in the lab room, having been paired up with a particular ginger and an angsty boyfriend of yours. There were an odd number of students and Childe could not fathom working on his own, for whatever reason. Though it did not bother you, it sure bothered Scaramouche.

“You’re already failing this class, and you’d like to skip? No wonder you’re failing.” Scaramouche commented, jotting down a few more things to his paper for the assignment. He scoffed a few moments later and sat upright. He turned to look at the two of you and saw that Childe was giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah he is, but it would be fun, no?” You asked, rolling up your sleeves to get ready to sneakily clean up to leave. You knew Scaramouche would give in, not to Childe but to you.

“Yeah! We can go to the mall and get food.” Childe butted in, grabbing his car keys to show them off to the shorter male.

“Hm, he is just annoying.” You knew he was lying, he was a tad bit jealous at the idea of Childe joining you two in on your usual lunch dates. It was something special for you two, daily lunch dates hidden away from most.

“I’d rather choke than go there with you.” Scaramouche shoved a few papers into his school binder and grabbed your hand. “I’ll be leaving with them. You should pay attention to class.”

You laughed and wave the now sulking male off, and let yourself get dragged by Scaramouche to what you’d assume to be your usual hiding spot. “Jealous? Or you just want to be alone?” You asked him, keeping up with his quick steps.

“Annoying? Hmm, if you say so, Scaramouche.” Soon, you two arrived at the staircase tucked away in the corner of the school. No one used it often, so you two were able to relax there for the entire lunch hour. 

He eyed you as you grabbed your lunch out of your bag as well. You sat down next to him, shoulders touching, and began to eat. "Hm- Y'know, one day we should humor Childe and go with him to the mall for lunch. He is offering to pay anyway." You spoke between bites. 

Scaramouche did not reply and just plopped down on the ground. He pulled his bag to his side and dug in it to grab his lunch. He set it down to his side. “Well, sit down. I want to eat with you.”

"He'll think it's a date." He paused, finishing his bite quickly before speaking again. "You know how he thinks."

"Yeah but, would that be all that bad? He probably doesn't have many others to eat with since everyone else uses him for money." You swallowed your food and took a sip of your water. "He is our friend either way. Why not eat lunch with him?"

Scaramouche rolled his eyes and set his food on his lap, looking at you with slight defeat. "You do know he likes you. Right? I don't want him to have what's mine." He sighed and shook his head, eyes now turned to the ground. "If you want to, we can tomorrow. But this won't be a routine."

You smiled happily, ignoring the fact Scaramouche had just told you that Childe had feelings for you. They would go away eventually. Besides, you didn't feel the same. "Yay! But you have to be nice to him! No snarky remarks. Got it?" You stated, pointing a threatening finger at him.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just eat your food." Scaramouche finished his sandwich quickly and gulped down some of the juice he brought. He grabbed a few snacks he brought and opened them, munching on them rather happily.

"Mhm. I know I know." You leaned against his side, finishing your own sandwich hastily to steal some of your lover's snacks. He brought the good stuff! Not the no-name brands, the good stuff. So who couldn't steal it?

"Here. I brought you some." He held out a small pack of gummies. His face was slightly tinted red. He knew how much you enjoyed them, and he wanted to give you a few small snacks. "So you don't steal mine." 

You smiled widely and snatched them from his hand. You held it up in victory and cheered. "Thank you!" You gave him a quick peck on the cheek and turned to open and devour the snack. "Oh man, have I told you how much I love you?" You asked, off in your own world of gummy snacks.

"Hmm, a few times." He stuffed the empty wrapper into his pocket to toss later. Scaramouche lifted up his arm and wrapped it around your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to your head in the process.

A silent declaration of his love for you.

Meanwhile, Childe was roaming the school halls in search of you two. He had bought himself lunch and wanted to at least spend the hour with you. However, he was having a hard time looking for you guys. 

"Mr. Zhongli, have you seen Scaramouche?" He asked a teacher and a few other students. However, all of his questions have been answered the same.

"No, sorry." 

He sighed and decided to go to an empty hallway and sit there. He walked up the stairs, sulking very clearly. "Where are they…"

Childe hummed to himself and looked to see if anyone was there.

"Oh, Childe." There you two were! He was ecstatic! He smiled widely and held up his bag of food.

"I got food~ want to share?" He asked, not questioning the cuddling. Your guy's relationship had yet to go public. So Childe had yet to even figure out you two were together.

"As much as that is appealing, we already ate. Sorry, Childe." You said, sitting up and sadly pulling away from Scaramouche. It pained you to do so but, you knew Scaramouche did not like showing affection in front of others.

"More food for me." Childe shrugged and sat in front of you two. He opened the bag and dug in, happily eating his food.

You packed away your empty containers and garbage into your bag, noting to grab it and throw it away before your next class. "Tomorrow we should go to the mall together for lunch. I'll have some money by then." 

Scaramouche didn’t make a comment, rather he sat there staring at the ginger with this slight edge. He did not want him to find out about your hiding spot. It was meant for you two and now he might try to come with you two every day! 

“If you want. I can pay though.” Childe swallowed his food. “I’ll pay for both of you!” He just wanted you two to hang out with him. More so you than Scaramouche, but he was not complaining whatsoever. 

Scaramouche crossed his arms and legs, huffing at Childe's words. “Free food is free food. I’ll go.” He closed his eyes as to avoid looking at anyone. 

“Great! It’s a date then.” Childe said, sending you a wink. He then went back to eating his food as the bell rang. Students poured out of classes, eager to eat their lunches.

“I thought we told you not to skip that class-” You said, furrowing your eyebrows at Childe. You forgot the bell hadn’t even gone yet. That sly guy really left after he was told to stay.

“You two aren’t my parents. I’ll do as I please.” Childe laughed, having successfully left class, got food, and found you two. What a great day it is today.

“I’m not tutoring you on that upcoming test.” Scaramouche butt in, having zero intentions of helping the failing male. It was not his responsibility after all. If Childe wanted to pass, he had to do it on his own.

“There's a test-?” Childe asked, voice loud enough to shock the relaxed Scaramouche. He stopped eating his food, and his mouth was wide open. He was starting to panic a bit.

“Hm, no. But I wasn’t going to help you if there was one.” Scaramouche laughed, smiling in a teasing way. He knew he would end up helping him. They wouldn’t be in the same class anymore if he didn’t help. He couldn’t let that happen, now could he?

“Awh, you two have study dates without me? I feel hurt.” You cut in, feigning hurt by placing your hand on your heart and falling onto the floor, now laying down. You laughed, smiling at your own joke.

Childe was laughing with you, nodding to your question. “We do! And you will never be invited!” He proclaimed, pointing at you with a determined expression.

“Not that they need them. Unlike you, they’re passing Science.” Scaramouche shook his head, chuckling softly at your guy's antics. It was stupid, yet he found himself thinking it was rather cute. The both of you.

Childe nodded in agreement. “Can never get enough.” He finished off his food and put all his trash into the takeout bag.

What was he thinking?

You sat up and gently punched Scaramouches shoulder. “Yeah, but it would never hurt to get extra study sessions.” You replied, questioning if it would be worth asking one of the smarter students for help. Your grade could use some work after all.

Scaramouche looked at him in irritation again, eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed thin. “You don’t even study unless I’m there.” He commented, scoffing at him.

“They’re study dates! Trust me! One day, you’ll enjoy them as much as I do.” Childe smiled, patting his pants clean of any crumbs from his lunch.

“And I’m still not invited? Heartbroken.” You faked a pout, crossed your arms, and turned your head. Your eyes were shut tightly and your cheeks were puffed out slightly. 

And the cuddle sessions.

“Sorry. Just us two are allowed.” Childe teased, poking your cheek playfully. “No one else.”

You laughed and slapped his hand away. “Fine. I’ll have my own study dates with Scaramouche. On our own. You’re not invited!” You declared. Though it was already true. He often did help with your assignments and studying. You did prefer it that way, Childe could get off-topic often. And the study sessions you two held were meant for studying after all. 

“Who said I’m going to study with you? You’re on your own too.” Scaramouche stated, side-eyeing you with faked irritation. He really didn’t mind studying with either of you. Though sometimes he could not handle Childe.

You gasped, pressing your hand against your heart again, and faked a surprised look. “What! No study dates with me?” You tilted your head down and closed your eyes. “I’m shattered. Truly am heartbroken. Why must you regret me like this?”

Scaramouche scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Enough. Lunch is about to end. Let’s head to our next classes.” Scaramouche stood up and grabbed his bag.

You sighed and did the same. You also grabbed the trash from inside to throw out. “Fine. I’ll see you two later then. Bye!” You waved them off and headed off to your next class, one you did not share with either of them. 

[leggerefiore]

can you elaborate on how the sawsbuck hybrid bros had little deerling hybrid kiddos with a human? …for science.

horny anon *bonk*

Antlers

cw: 18+ content, afab reader, sawsbuck emmet, implied poly but not really prominent, I know Nothing of deers

------

While it had been a funny sight to observe the two Sawsbuck hybrids in an antler fight with sounds like growls coming from both of them, you had failed to realise what they were fighting over. It was not until Ingo backed off and ran away that you realised it had actually been over something and not a spur of the moment disagreement-fight. Emmet gave you a sweet grin as he walked over to you, arms pulling you into a hug where his autumn scent stung your nostrils.

“Heehee, I win,” he giggled, “I get to be the first one to mate you!” You froze. What had they been fighting over?

~

You had managed to coerce him to into your home, as he wanted to fuck you right then and there. While you were absolutely one-hundred percent down to have some fun time with the deertaur, it was not going to be in the woods. You pondered him over as how this would actually work crossed your mind. “… We don't exactly have compatible body shapes, huh,” you noted. Emmet huffed at that. “Well, how do you think this could work, then?”

“Mmm, face the wall on your hands and knees,” he suggested. You cocked an eyebrow up at him, but did so on your bed. Emmet walked over to your bed and grabbed your hips. You had all stripped down to your underwear beforehand, so he simply tugged those away. Then he sniffed you. The urge to kick him overcame you, but he quickly pulled away to whine, “I thought you were in heat, but you are not!!”

“Emmet. Humans don't have heats,” you corrected him. An idea crossed your mind this time. “Hmm, why don't you eat me out? If you're worried I'm not horny, that will help,” you offered aloud. He stood there in contemplation for a moment. “Do… You not know how to do that?” you realised. A sudden urge to tease him overcame you, but he prevented that by bravely leaning forward again, pressing his tongue between your folds. Its flat shape felt wonderful as he curiously licked.

Before you could give him an idea of what else he could do, his tongue found your clit. It was swirled around by him as you felt your muscles tense in your position. Had he had sex before? Your hand gripped the sheet as he playfully teased the sensitive area with ease. A whine came from you when he decided to move away from your clit. However, this was to, instead, tease your entrance. He circled around the flesh before burying his tongue into your hole. A hum left his throat, and your walls tensed around his tongue.

You finally fell down when began to tongue-fuck you curiously in between circling your insides. Laying against the blankets, you felt overcome with the pleasure his tongue managed to give you. A heat was slowly coiling in your stomach, but Emmet, ever so cruelly, pulled away from you. Turning your head to glare at him, you saw his eyes a bit dazed and your juices glistened around his mouth. He licked them up before suddenly moving on top of the bed.

His body was over yours in a moment, fur tickling you as he essentially mounted you. “Emmy?” you asked him, feeling something warm pressed against your crotch.

“Mmm… You are ready…” he hummed. It seemed eating you out had activated something in his brain. Or maybe he was just always like this when he was horny. Who was to say? Part of you did want to scold him to ask if you were, but, well, you were a bit more curious about how this was going to go at the moment. Parting your legs a bit more, you felt him readjusting his hips. The head of his cock pressed between your folds for a moment as he missed, but a second attempt had his caught by your entrance. You took a deep breath as you felt his length press inside of you.

He was quite a bit longer and wider than humans. You felt a bit nervous about this all, but he kept pressing inside of you. The stretch went from scary to pleasant as he finally bottomed out. A whine left him as you moaned. For a moment, a period of adjustment happened. Deep breaths could be heard coming from Emmet as you tried to get a good look at him. It was difficult due to your positioning, however. You began to rock your hips a bit in an attempt to get him to move. He clearly needed no further prompting as he immediately began to thrust.

You felt more and more groans leave you as he moved into a rougher technique. Gripping the sheets, all you could do is take him. In and out, in and out. You wanted to cry from the pleasure surging throughout your system. His fur continued to tickle you as he just kept going. His cock head speared you open wonderfully. “You're verrrry warm,” he whimpered. A loud cry left him when you tightened around his cock. It had hit a sensitive spot inside you, and you felt that coil that had been previously denied returning.

Reaching a hand up to grab his hand, you pleaded for more. He eagerly gave you more. Emmet pushed inside of you deeper and harder. You moved yourself in time with his thrusts. It was all so mind-numbingly good. Your face buried itself in the blankets as he targeted that sensitive spot with untrained skill. It was not long until the coil in you snapped, and you came with a loud moan. Your sudden orgasm left Emmet with your walls clamping down on him.

He managed to make it a few more thrusts after, but ultimately buried himself to the hilt inside of you. Your blissed out mind let out a soft whine at the heat flooding inside of you. You both remained still for a moment or two. Eventually, however, he pulled out, and you finally could properly crash against your bed. You rolled over and yawned, as Emmet stepped over you to lay down at your side. Arms came around you, and Emmet buried his face into your neck. “I'm verrrrry glad I won,” he gigged.

“Of course, you are,” you ran a hand through his soft hair, careful to mind the antlers.

“Aaaah, you haven't even seen our ruts yet,” he continued, “Poor Ingo is sad he doesn't get to breed every year. I do not care.”

…

… He got hornier?

[waheelawhisperer]

The 5 abyssal hunters for the ship meme

Oh boy. I feel like a lot of these will end up looking very similar because I ship a lot of them with each other so let's go

Skadidididididi

NOTP: Skadi x Ulpianus. Ulpianus is a clown and does not deserve romance.

BROTP: Skadi x Grani. Skadidi needs a friend and they were cute together in Grani's event.

OTP: Skadi x Specter. God, they're so good. They've been through so much together, and Skadi was so caring and attentive when Specter was being treated at Rhodes Island. Also, Specter's Outstanding durability means she's one of the few people Skadi can top without risk of injury.

Second choice pairing: Skadi x Doctor. Skadi's operator files indicate that she's a bit sweet on Doc, to say nothing of... the entirety of the Corrupting Heart. I think it'd be really cute to watch Skadi struggle to admit she cares for this fragile land-dweller and then finally allow herself to be close to someone and then dote on and be so very gentle with her easily-breakable wife/malewife (as applicable).

Fluffy pairing: Skadi x Doctor, Skadi x Grani. They would be so sweet together.

Angsty pairing: Skadi x Specter. Oh, there is so much potential for pain with these two.

Favorite poly ship: Skadi x Specter x Gladiia, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Doctor, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Irene. My reading on the Abyssal Hunters is that they aren't strictly monogamous (see: Specter's yuri moments with both Skadi and Irene and Skadi's simultaneous crush on the Doctor and yuri moments with Specter), and so I actually like Abyssal Hunter polycules more than 2-person ships. Love the thought of the three surviving Hunters finding solace in each other's arms on land.

Adding Doctor to the mix is super funny to me because all three of them express some level of regard for them (Skadi is pretty obviously crushing a bit, Gladiia invites them to dance and is rude to them when it's specifically noted that she saves politeness for the people she doesn't like, and even Specter likes to playfully tease them and Irene is a seagull, but she can still be stuffed like a turkey if she tries really hard and believes in herself.

Weirdest pairing: Skadi x Mudrock. Each of them is a bit of a space cadet, and Mudrock's shield passive means that as long as Skadi goes real slow, she can top Mudrock without harm.

Specter the Unhinged

NOTP: Specter x Amaia. Keep your filthy Seaborn-worshipping hands off my girl.

BROTP: Absolutely love the idea of Specter becoming Bros with the other brawlers/troublemakers at Rhodes Island. She probably hangs out at the bar/gym/etc. with Indra, Gavial, Lappland, and other people who cause problems on purpose.

OTP: Specter x Skadi. See above.

Second choice pairing: Specter x Irene, Specter x Doctor. Irene deserves to get railed and they had a bunch of Yuri Moments in Stultifera Navis and Specter does seem to have genuine regard for the Doctor, both promising to protect them and expressing a desire to share her home and its culture with them and lamenting that there are aspects of it they're incapable of understanding

Fluffy pairing: I feel like it's hard to do truly fluffy with Specter because she's too much of a brat, but Specter x Skadi and Specter x Irene could probably manage it.

Angsty pairing: Specter x Skadi. See above.

Favorite poly ship: Skadi x Specter x Gladiia, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Doctor, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Irene. See above.

Weirdest pairing: Specter x Lumen. Breed that twink, Laurentina.

Gladiia

NOTP: Gladiia x Kal'tsit. This is, honestly, an excellent pairing with a lot going for it, but I do not like Kal'tsit.

BROTP: Gladiia x Blemishine. Idk, I just really like the idea of Jaded Supersoldier Science Lady Gladiia taking this young, peppy engineering nerd under her wing.

OTP: Gladiia x Doctor. It would be Gladiia x Kal'tsit if I liked Kal'tsit because I do think the setup and chemistry is really good, but alas. That said, Doc x Gladiia has a decent foundation to it, what with the way Gladiia asks Doctor to dance with her and is generally somewhat abrupt and impolite with them when her files note that she reserves her manners for people she doesn't much care for. I feel like there's a good opportunity to bond over the nature of power and responsibility and leadership. Late nights discussing tactics or playing chess together that become something more? Yes, please.

Second choice pairing: Gladiia x Specter. Gladiia shows so much care for Specter, and somebody's gotta punish this bratty little shark.

Fluffy pairing: I'm not convinced Gladiia does fluffy, but I think Gladiia x Doc has some potential, given the talk line where she offers to teach the Doctor how to dance.

Angsty pairing: I feel like every Gladiia pairing is inherently angsty but I'll pick Gladiia x Ulpianus here because their interactions in Stultifera Navis get both funnier and more tragic if they yearn to explore each other's bodies.

Favorite poly ship: Skadi x Specter x Gladiia, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Doctor, Skadi x Specter x Gladiia x Irene. See above.

Weirdest pairing: Gladiia x Saria. Science parents unite!

Andreana

This is hard because the lore kinda forgot she existed but I'll try.

NOTP: I don't have a real NOTP for Andreana, but I think perhaps she should stay away from Jaye before she ends up being made into seafood.

BROTP: Andreana x Exusiai. They can shoot guns together.

OTP: Andreana x Incandescence

Second choice pairing: Andreana x any Abyssal Hunter.

Fluffy pairing: I want to say Andreana x Incandescence but they have no lore pain emoji

Angsty pairing: Hard to pick one here but all the Abyssal Hunters are pretty good at angst.

Favorite poly ship: Andreana x Abyssal Hunters. She deserves to be railed from three directions at once. As a treat.

Weirdest pairing: Andreana x Exusiai. Show her the power of GUN!

Ulpianus:

NOTP: All of them this man gets negative bitches he is utterly swagless he cannot have romance until he learns to fucking communicate like a normal person

BROTP: Ulpianus x The Last Knight go fight the ocean together boys

OTP: Gladiia x Ulpianus but strictly in the sense that she beats the shit out of him for being a dumbass and then maybe if he's very very good he gets pegged.

Second choice pairing: Bruh I can barely even come up with a first choice pairing but I guess it'd have to be Ulpianus x Mlynar

Fluffy pairing: This man is too much of a loser for fluff I think the closest he could get is like... Ulpianus x Skadi??? But I don't even like that one.

Angsty pairing: Any possible pairing will be incredibly angsty based on the fact that Ulpianus is in it but Ulpianus x Gladiia would probably make waves in this respect

Favorite poly ship: None there is no universe in which this man has enough game to pull two or more bad bitches at once.

That said, I'll go with Ulpianus x Mlynar x SilverAsh because all of them are shit at communicating and being emotionally available. Three of the most miserable bitchless losers on Terra.

Weirdest pairing: Ulpianus and the Last Knight. It gets lonely in the ocean, guys.

[kamiversee]

Kami i think you actually fried my brain. i only read smut for the mental stimulation and i think i literally short circuited. the double teaming???? THEY’RE SUCH A GOOD DUO 🥹 I LOVE THEM?????? PLEASE KAMI OH MY GOD HELP.

you were so right when you said you had something better than kissing in mind for Satoru and Choso’s interaction 😭😭😭😭 i was NOT a spit girly until you started writing about it tbh. Kami you’re COOKING with this What If series.

the only drawback with this is that there’s no other Gojo x reader x Choso content out there and i’m thirsting for it so fucking bad 😭😭 KAMI THIS IS EVILLLLL!!! a life with these two in our lives would be heaven tbh omg. their Bro No Homo™ moments are also fucking HILARIOUS omg i love their dynamic so much.

also please please please have the boys exchange a smooch please just think about it and the poly ending perchance 🙂‍↕️👉👈

-☃️

Guys I pinky promise I never had a spit thing until I started writing it💀🙏

It’s like they’re in my brain as I write just telling me to add tht & it’s never at an awkward time so it just works ig, idk… (yap incoming)

If I’m being honest, in my lil list of soon-to-be written fics there’s one thts Sukuna vs Gojo & if I’m being honest, I spent a LONG time debating if I should make it Choso v Gojo or Sukuna v Gojo (I’m still kinda debating ngl)

But bc TFL is basically Cho vs Gojo… Idk, I didn’t wanna do the same rivalry twice but then again the dynamic is completely diff bc Choso would be more stoic & cold toward the reader in a way while Gojo is just a ball of sunshine (thts quite literally the troupe of tht fic btw, it’s grumpy vs sunshine character x reader if tht makes sense) soo yeah, if y’all r rlly desperate for more Cho vs Gojo content I can definitely change tht, just lmk ig ;)

AND ABT THE SMOOCH…….. I’ll think abt it….

[mondaymelon]

sleep tight, love. pt 2 (tsukasa x rui x gn!reader)

warnings/notes! poly relationship, fluff, reader is in a sleepover with the two of them

(a/n) requested by an anon ♡ part 1 here. requests are closed

˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚

futurestar is online.

futurestar - HELLO EvERYBODY

futurestar - I HAVE PREPARED SNACKS THAT I WIL BRING

wxsreader is online.

inventorgenius624 is online.

inventorgenius624 - *will

futurestar - OKAY

wxsreader - 6 pm, right?

futurestar - YES SO IN LIKE 10 MINUTES

inventorgenius624 - yep

You smiled down at your phone screen, feeling warm inside.

wxsreader - on my way there

inventorgenius624 - drive saftely.

futurestar - *SAFELY

inventorgenius624 - bro stfu

futurestar - H A H A H A

The two of them were still busy arguing by the time you showed up at Tsukasa's house, holding your items in one hand with a sleeping bag in the other. Standing there awkwardly, you rung the doorbell and immediately heard muffled footsteps. Not a moment after, Tsukasa flung open the door, eyes sparkling. Behind him stood Rui, who gave you a little wave, smiling softly. "Oh good, you're here!" The blonde exclaimed, running forward and giving you a quick hug before gesturing inside. "Come in! You can put your things up in my room."

Up the stairs you went, trailing after the two men who were leading the way. Rui had obviously been here many times before, and pointed out where Tsukasa's room was, where the bathrooms were, and where the kitchen was. You gratefully thanked him for the information. While walking down the hallway, you spotted a slightly ajar door, where inside sat a young girl who was maybe one or two years younger than you. She had blonde hair like Tsukasa's, except her hair faded to a light pink at the edges unlike him. Spotting you, she gave you a little wave as you passed.

"You have a sister, Tsukasa?"

"Yep! Her name is Saki Tenma. She's also part of a musical group." Tsukasa rambled on and on about her favorite foods and music genres, completely losing touch of the world.

Rui nudged your shoulder to get your attention. "He's really proud of her," he whispered directly into your ear, causing you to flinch and for your face to flush. "If you couldn't tell."

"Ah- I see-" Laughing nervously, you turned your gaze back up to Tsukasa who was staring at the two of you with a playful scowl.

"What are you two whispering about?"

"Nothing~"

At Rui's nonchalant answer, the blonde narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Awww, is Tsukasa-kun upset?" The purple-haired male smirked at him, eyes mischievous. At Rui's comment, the blonde's cheeks not so subtly alighted with red tones.

Turning away, he awkwardly cleared his throat. "Let's just set up the blankets and then we can make a pillow fort."

"Okayyy!"

⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺ 🕤 ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺

Now that all of you were comfortable, and that uncomfortable moment had passed, the three of you lay entangled in the blankets that surrounded the couches and the pile of pillows that you guys had compiled together. Tsukasa had wandered off to turn the light off, since it was getting pretty late, and Rui just stared after him with something twinkling in his eyes. You caught snippets of his whispers to himself, namely, "Should I tell them?"

You didn't exactly know what he meant, at least not at the time, but as soon as Tsukasa turned off the light and wandered through the darkness back to the fort, the male started acting differently. He was strangely quiet, and didn't seem to pay much attention to the things you and Tsukasa were discussing so vividly about.

"Hey. Rui, you okay?" You turned to look at him in the dim light, seeing his serious expression. Tsukasa turned to glance at him too, as he noticed the change in the other man's demeanor as well.

"You've been silent all night." Tsukasa noted, sending a questioning look his way. "Do you feel unwell? We can go to sleep, if that's what you want." The male had propped himself up on his pillow, chin resting in his hands.

"I've been meaning to tell you all something."

"Go on."

"And this may be awkward to say too since I know I haven't known you for a long time either- but...

I like the both of you."

There was a stunned silence as the two of you just stared at Rui in shock, eyes wide.

what i think about rui... and tsukasa as well...

theyre both really nice and funny and always so nice to me.

and if we did end up dating...

i think i would like that.

You silently made up your answer in your head, face burning at the thought of being in a relationship with either of them. Of course, it was still up in the air, so you didn't allow yourself to get your hopes up too much.

The void of noise was ended as Tsukasa spoke up, face flushed red. "S-Same here."

You paused as the two men turned their heads to hear your answer. "I... I like the two of you too. You're both really do seem to care for me... so... Yes. I like you, Rui. I like you, Tsukasa."

There was a moment of tension between the three of you that quickly ended as Rui gave you a relieved smile, happiness evident in his expression. Tsukasa beamed too, covering his face with his blanket that had been pulled up to his eyes to hide his blushing self.

"How about we all sleep together tonight?"

"Was already planning on it."

prev masterlist

[mrs-monaghan]

No one is having a problem with tae mentioning jk. But It's the way he's mentioning him that doesn't seem sincere.

The First time, no one thought anything of it. The second time also, But then it kept happening. He starts an unnecessary couple minute vlive just to drop jk's name, unprovoked, then turn it off, give it a few days, then do it again. You can't help but wonder why is he doing this. Now, he's even opening a vlive from jk's home without his permission!

Now, if tkkrs were to just gush over tkk and leave Jimin alone then it would be fine, but they always have to attack him. And tae knows that because he monitors social media like the rest of the members. He knows how tkkrs will react and he still chose to do it. Now tkkrs are getting even more vile towards Jimin because they believe that tae is sending them a message that tkk is real.

It was clear that tae has started to align himself with Jungkook once their solo activities have been announced. The likes, comments, stories… Maybe the reason is because they have a song together and he's promoting it, or maybe he's feeling the pressure of the solo era and want to win tkkrs. Then if this wasn't enough, he suddenly started to drop his name suspiciously when the rumors about him and jennie started. Coincidence?

Whatever the reason, is it worth all the hate Jimin gets because of it?

And the funny thing is that he doesn't do all this with his so called soulmate!

Honestly and like you said, Hobi is the one that feels like jm's soulmate. And I love how very protective of jkk he is. Like that time he posted jkk the same day their bond was dragged on twitter. I love him.

Oh man.

Now if tkkrs were to just gush over tkk and leave Jimin alone it would be fine. But they always have to attack him

I have this one problem with Jikookers. (Not all, of course) Just the ones that get easily affected by the cult. Tkkrs aka the vermin are many. Like there's a big amount of these pieces of shit. And they can get very loud and in your face. Its mostly because people are scared of them that they have been able to become so rampant. But listen, its for a reason. they threatened youtubers like Jeonssy found her family n shit and said they would harm Lil Tony's pregnant wife till both these Jikookers (and many others) left the platform all together. Then we have DT Parker who had to create a separate Jimin channel because of these people. I mean the vermin are dangerous. They are no joke. They attacked Poly C and so many other brands that dared confirm Jikook were wearing their shit. So who are they not to come for normal Jikookers who are just here minding our business?

But because they are so vile and so disgusting Jikookers have come to hate them so much that they don't want them to have anything. And so when Tkk have a moment, we already have Jikookers slamming their heads against the wall. But then there lies my issue. If members do something and your first thought is the cult, then you need to get your shit together. We should FIRST enjoy the moment and then later be like "ugh. The vermin are gonna act up." But not the other way around. The only one time I ever thought about tkks first, was this one

(Credit to owner)

(I'm lying, first i drooled and then turned on the fan)

The moment he said "bro" I was like "why JK??"

He he he he heee.. but this a habit we need to break. If you are reading this post and you do this;

Otherwise you are on your way to becoming a V anti and no member deserves this. V has indeed been acting some type of way since Gurumi. Say mentioning JK and only JK all the damn time. BUT If you think what V is doing is wrong simply because that's how u feel, then that's okay. But if you hate what V is doing because of the cult, then bro, I'm sorry, but u need to reevaluate your priorities. JK doesn't seem to like Tkkrs. He has debunked them more times that we can count. As long as Jikook keep debunking Tkk moments I will never put the vermin first.

[ellecdc]

love, you HAVE to continue the moonwater x pregnant reader who are announcing the pregnancy with a very dramatic barty and over enthusiastic sirius

say less (this was supposed to be a short little blurb, how'd it end up being so long? [it's cuz they're dramatic])

poly!moonwater x pregnant!reader who tell their friends // 2nd trimester

The first sound you heard when you, Remus, and Regulus stepped through the floo at Potter manor was the sound of Harry squealing in delight.

“Again, Pa’foo! Again!” The toddler cheered as Sirius, who was laying on the floor on his back, took Harry’s hands in his and lifted his godson up into the air by his feet.

“Quick, Red! What are those muggle flying thingies called again!?” Sirius shouted through the apartment. 

You chuckled at the sight as Regulus tried passing you a sweater on account of “the many drafts in Potter manor” which you quickly refused. “I think you’re looking for aeroplane, Sirius.” 

Sirius leaned his head back further so he was looking at you upside down and offered you a flirty grin.

Before he was able to say anything too salacious, Harry squealed and launched himself at you.

“Auntie!”

“Hi Haz!” You cheered back, bending down to hold the child to your chest. “Having fun?”

Harry confirmed that he was as he moved to hug Remus and Regulus before tearing off to tell his parents that everyone was here.

Sirius accepted Remus’ hand up and they clapped each other on the back in what Regulus has dubbed a “bro hug” that he was “zero percent interested in ever receiving, thank you”.

“Nice of you all to finally show up. V’been here for hours already.” Sirius taunted.

“He’s a sodding liar.” You heard Lily say as the four of you made your way to the dining room where Harry was already sitting in his booster seat and shoving food into his mouth by means of one baby fork and one pudgy hand. “He’s been here for five minutes maybe.”

Sirius scoffed. “You’re no fun, Red. I didn’t even get to see the little twitch in Reggie’s jaw at the thought of having held everyone up.”

“Sod off.” Regulus hissed as he smacked his brother upside the head.

“Lily! Regulus just hit me!” He cried, rubbing the back of his head.

“Squealer.” Regulus muttered darkly and took a seat as Remus pulled out a chair for you in the place beside him.

You didn’t realise how quiet the room had gotten until after Remus had pushed your chair back in underneath you and took a seat to your opposite side. You looked up to notice all eyes were on you.

“What the hell is going on?” Lily asked bluntly.

“What do you mean?” You asked, though your voice sounded relatively high.

Sirius let out a disbelieving laugh. “That one?” He said as he pointed an accusatory finger towards his brother. “That one had etiquette lessons drilled into him from the moment he could walk. This one?” He continued, moving his finger to Remus. “Is the least gentlemanly man I’ve ever met.”

Remus let out a simultaneously hysterical and offended laugh as he looked cautiously towards you and Regulus. “I am too a gentleman!”

“You’ve never once pulled out my chair, Moony.” James accused with narrowed eyes.

“And why in the hells would he pull out your chair, Potter?” Regulus sneered.

“A gentleman would.” Lily argued.

“He would not!” Remus countered.

“Only an un-gentleman would say such a thing, Moons.”

“You’ve lost the plot, Sirius.”

“Are you pregnant?” Lily whispered, causing the table to fall silent again as everyone returned their attention to you.

You looked awkwardly between Remus and Regulus again; this isn’t exactly how you’d planned to tell them. You were hoping to have at least made it through your meal before you opened up the discussion, knowing there would be plenty of questions. 

You don’t know why you even bothered to make plans with this lot; getting just about anything done was guaranteed to be nothing short of chaos. 

“Oh, my gods. You are.” She breathed out in disbelief, a grin spreading across her face.

“Shut up.” James said as he slammed his hands down on the table, looking between you, Regulus, and Remus imploringly. “Shut up; no you’re not. Are you? Are you really?”

You let out an emotional laugh and nodded, looking down to your lap where you were nervously wringing your hands before one of Remus’ joined the mix.

“Oh my gods!” James shrilled as Lily let out an excited squeal.

“How far along are you? What are your cravings? Have you had terrible morning sickness? How far along are you?” Lily asked in rapidfire.

“Okay, okay. Salazar, take it easy.” Regulus admonished placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “We’re almost fourteen weeks now. The cravings change almost every week, but this week it’s been spicy foods.”

This earned you all an indignant scoff from James at having spicy cravings and not going to him for recipes.

“Which has been awful for the heart burn.” Remus noted lovingly causing you to flush impossibly further. 

“Morning sickness has been a bit of an issue.” Regulus continued.

“And is usually an issue well throughout the rest of the day and evening as well.” Remus added. 

“Fourteen weeks!?” Sirius finally screeched, looking at the three of you in faux admonishment. “You’ve known for fourteen weeks that I was going to be an uncle-”

“Again.” James corrected quietly.

“Again.” Sirius agreed without breaking his stare with his brother. “...that I was going to be an uncle again for fourteen weeks, and you didn’t bother to tell me!?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Sirius.” Regulus scoffed dismissively. “We’ve only known for almost eight weeks.”

“Eight weeks!?” James and Sirius chorused.

“I needed to be shopping seven weeks ago.” Sirius squawked.

Remus titled his head at his friend. “Why only seven weeks?”

“I’d need at least a week recovering from the fact that you’ve defiled my brother.”

You and Remus scoffed at that. 

“Defiled him?” You begged incredulously at the same time as Remus muttered “I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his doing.”

James gasped dramatically at that. “Do you know who the other parent is?”

“James!” Lily and Remus chided at the same time.

“Now, Potter. Generally, when three people love each other very much, and they bring a child into the world, they’d all be parents.” Remus explained as if it had been Harry who asked the question.

“Sod off, that’s not what I meant. Is it going to be a Black? A little cub?” He carried on, sucking the air out of the room.

James always meant to say the nicest things, they just never came out quite right; and this time, he’d struck a bit of a nerve.

Fortunately, Sirius never allowed moments to stay awkward for long.

He groaned in disgust. “Never mind that; the child is damned either way. Do you know if it’s going to be a girl or a boy?”

You snorted at that as both Remus and Regulus harrumphed quietly and sat back in their chairs. 

“It’s a little early for that, Pads.” Lily explained.

“The boys are divided on what the sex of the baby is going to be so they’re not going to find out until the baby is born.” You explained, causing Sirius to grin mischievously. 

“They’re not going to find out, you say?”

“But you are?” James asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I’ll find out at the 16 week checkup.” 

“Don’t even think about it.” Remus warned Sirius and James who both squawked in protest.

“Absolutely not; if Remus and I aren’t finding out, neither are you two.” Regulus proclaimed. 

“Fine, but I want in on the bets; who’s betting on which sex?” James asked as he leaned his elbows onto the table - nearly right into his mashed potatoes.

“The sex of my baby is not a bet!” Regulus protested as Remus said “I think it’s a girl.”

Both Sirius and James hummed as they leaned back in their chairs and Lily scrutinised you. 

“I think it’s a girl, too.” She claimed.

“Yeah I’m with Moony.” Sirius said as he brought his glass of wine to his mouth.

“Moony!?” James hollered. “After it took us 700 years to convince him we’d be fine on full moons and we’d been right and he’d been wrong? Nope.” He said with a pop of the p. “I’m putting my money with Baby Black.”

“Never call me that again, Potter.” Regulus muttered.

“Who all knows?” Lily asked as the conversation relaxed and you all began eating.

“No one.” You admitted. “You guys were the first people we’ve told.”

Lily made a sweet cooing sound as James and Sirius (and then Harry) cheered.

“Wait wait wait!” Sirius interrupted. “Does Junior not know!?”

You and Regulus grimaced as Remus barked a laugh.

“That’s next on her list.” Regulus answered, evading any responsibility of his oldest friend onto you.

“My list?!”

“He’s your friend.” He argued.

“He was your friend, first.”

“Yeah but he’d literally push me in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for you.”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Regulus; he’d push anyone in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for fun.” You countered darkly, picking up the glass of wine that had been sitting in front of you before you realised what you were doing and Remus quickly plucked it from your hands and replaced it with a glass of water.

“Perhaps, but he wouldn’t push you in front of a stampede of hippogriffs, would he?” Regulus challenged, raising a perfectly arched black eyebrow at you.

He was so handsome it pissed you right off.

“You’re actually going to leave your pregnant girlfriend to the hyenas?” 

“I’m not leaving my girlfriend to the hyenas.” Regulus scoffed and turned back to his plate. “I’m only leaving her to one.”

Like the absolute sodding bastard that Regulus was, he really did leave you alone to the hyena. He claimed he had a meeting with the Wizengamot he couldn’t miss, but you claimed bullshit.

And the longer you and Barty travelled between the shops on Oxford street, the more you were beginning to lose your nerve.

He was your best friend; why were you afraid of him?

“The fuck are you looking at you stupid fucking tosser? I’ll rearrange your organs; keep walking!” He spat at someone he decided looked at the pair of you either too strangely or for too long, you’d never know.

Right….that was why.

Suddenly, Barty gasped dramatically and grabbed your arm rather roughly. “You know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should get matching tattoos!” He said with a beaming smile. 

You patted his cheek in a way that if even his own boyfriend had tried it, he’d have been bitten, but you were just rewarded with him leaning into it. “Barty, how many matching tattoos do we have?”

“Thirteen. Why?” He answered readily. 

You laughed again, and took both of his hands in yours. “Actually, Barty. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“I knew it.”

“What?”

“You’re sick and tired of Reg and Lupin and you’re ready to run away with me. I’ve got passports and bags packed at the ready; we’ll start a new life in New Zealand.” He explained nearly all in the same breath.

“No! What? No, Barty I-”

“Oh my gods, you killed one of them, didn’t you? It was an accident; no, they deserved it, I’m certain of it. You need help hiding the body?”

“Barty!”

“Both of them, Treasure? That’s okay, I think there’s enough room in the Crouch family plot to hide them.”

“Barty! I’m pregnant.” You finally admitted, watching as Barty cut himself off mid sentence to stare at you blankly. 

You were sure it was about 26 seconds of Barty staring intensely into your eyes with his hands gripped tightly in yours before those eyes flit down to your stomach.

It was another approximately 34 seconds where his eyes flit between both of yours and your stomach before he had his arms around your waist and was carrying you off to gods knows where.

“Barty Crouch Junior! You put me down right now!” You demanded.

He pfft’d at you and hiked you up further under his arm. “Fat chance; last time I left you alone for any amount of time, you got yourself knocked up.”

“Bartemus!”

With an overly dramatic sigh, Barty placed you down onto a bench on the street and crouched down in front of you.

“You’ve been pregnant all day and you let me drag you all around kingdom come?” He implored, shaking your shoulders gently. “You have two men at home; do they know you are out on your feet like this?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Give me your cellular device.” He demanded, holding his hand out expectantly.

“Barty, seriously I-”

“The cellular device, witch!” He squawked with an impatient snap of his fingers.

You knew better at this point in your friendship than to argue with Barty when he got like this, and handed him your phone.

He looked at it for a few moments before hastily handing it back to you. “Make it ring Lupin, and Regulus too. I know you two convinced him to get one; he’s always text messaging Evan.”

You sighed and did as asked, organising a three-way call between you and the boys before Barty ripped it back out of your hands and held it to his ear.

“Yes, hello, am I speaking to one-half of the dumbest duo in all of the British Isles?” He spat into the phone.

“Yes, and hello Lupin, thanks for joining this call. There’s an emergency.”

You cringed at Barty’s very purposeful word choice when you heard the voices of both your boyfriends pick up in volume over the phone.

“Yes, well, you best hurry. We’re near the Disney Store on Oxford St.” Barty demanded before hanging up and looking at you excitedly. “We should go to the Disney Store!”

“What have you done?”

Barty didn’t have a chance to answer before you heard two snaps of apparition from an alleyway a few shops away from you and you saw your two boyfriends running over.

“Dove!” 

“What’s the matter!?” Regulus demanded, crouching next to your form immediately as Remus knelt directly in front of you.

“Well hello to you too, boys. Merlin you’re with rude blokes, Treasure.”

Regulus’ silver gaze darted menacingly to Barty. “You told us there was an emergency.”

“Are you okay, dove? What’s wrong?” Remus asked you quietly. You offered him a reassuring smile before Barty carried on in his theatrics. 

“There is an emergency, you knobhead. You’ve not only defiled this beautiful flower; you’ve allowed her to walk for kilometres with her condition!”

“Condition!?” You and Regulus squawked at the same time.

“Junior.” Remus admonished with a tired sigh. “She’s barely five months along and-”

“Five months!? You’ve been keeping this from me for five months!?” He beseeched as he turned his ire onto you.

“And,” Remus raised his voice. “It’s good for her to stay active; it keeps her and the baby strong and healthy.”

And didn’t that just shut Barty up.

“Hey. Yeah I’m alright thanks, how are you?” Regulus said into his phone, causing the three of you to all look over at him.

“Yeah, can you come pick your boyfriend up, please? Oxford Street near the Disney Store. Right. Okay, thanks. Bye.”

He pocketed his phone and looked at Barty with no lack of vexation.

“Now why would you call my boyfriend, Black?” Barty asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, causing you to scoff at the hypocrisy. 

“You feeling okay, dove?” Remus asked again, squeezing your elbow gently with and looking at you with eyes so full of love and concern you felt like you were going to implode.

“I’m okay; we’re okay.” You insisted, causing him to let out a relieved breath and press his forehead to your abdomen. 

“What have you done now, Junior?” Evan drawled as he casually walked towards the four of you with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Barty stomped over to his boyfriend and plucked the smoke from his lips and vanished it disturbingly close to the muggles brushing past the two of them.

“We’re in one of those moods, are we?” Evan looked Barty up and down disapprovingly. 

“She’s pregnant.” Barty emphasised, throwing a dramatic arm out behind him to gesture at you causing a passing man to have to duck lest he be clotheslined. 

“Oh, bet? Congrats.” Evan said, nodding to the three of you.

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Barty said with a stomp of his foot.

Evan simply rolled his eyes before he picked his boyfriend up and threw him over his shoulder. “Right, let's get you home.”

“Treasure! You need anything, anything, and you ring me, yeah? Get Regulus to give you Evan’s number. EVAN, TAKE ME TO A MOBILE STORE!” 

Their forms disappeared behind a building a few moments before you heard a snap of apparition and you all let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re really okay, dovie?” Remus asked again, a protective hand cupping the nape of your neck and his other hand resting against your waist.

“Just fine, bubs.” You assured him, pressing a kiss to his nose. You were rewarded with Remus relaxing his shoulders and Regulus letting out another sigh of relief.

“Well, I think that went rather well.” You offered cheerfully.

That earned you an unimpressed glare from both boys.

[polyamorouspunk]

omg for sleepover friday i NEED to rant about my crush cause hes so akdjakdj <33

so, of course, as is in true queer fashion, i am madly in love with my best friend - i mean what can i say? he is GORGEOUS and the most kind, caring, charismatic boy ive ever met, and ive met a LOT of boys. hes one of the only people i know that fully accept me and are 100% okay (and not secondhandedly uncomfortable) with my transness/queerness - im a t4t poly gay man.

so! we spend like every second ever together and he is so nice to me and i love being around him. the only problem here is that i have no clue if he may even ever like me back. i met him this school year, and he is very picky about who he likes / dates - hes stated it takes him years to like / get a crush on anyone - but im like . the opposite. i get crushes sososo easy and they stick like GLUE and i had a crush on him from the first time i spoke to him and he touched my face in a way that felt so insanely intimate and sweet.

anyway, to the point. we both actively yearn about how much we wish we could have a boyfriend - were both lonely gay men. why wouldnt we? - and it is so insanely painful because like. dude. im perfect for you. youre perfect for me. HOW do you not see that? :( every time he talks about something he likes in a boy it feels like hes vaguely hinting at being in love with me but i know hes not cause idk why would he be?

we text each other every time something good, bad, neutral happens. we call when we get home every day until we go to bed and we text each other when we wake up. HOW IS HE NOT MY BF :(

also the other day i wrote a paragraph ab how much i loved him (3k+ characters) and he was like “i love you” “i love you i love you i love you” and its never been so obvious to me how much im in love w someone UGH

idk why im sending this tbh maybe for advice so like 1) should i make a move and 2) how do i make a move

also for sample heres what a goodnight text from him looks like (to see if maybe im just over-exaggerating)

“Hey, imma assume ur asleep. So goodnight, I love you so much, so soooooooooooo fucking much. I cannot WAIT to see you tomorrow, goodnight and I hope you have amazing dreams 💗”

AAAAA im having a he likes me he likes me not moment tbh

Aaaah that’s so cute you HAVE to do something omg you have to bro that’s some fairy tale level shit omg go for iiiit live your best gay life 2024 let’s goooo

[demonfamilytherapist]

No Rival

A/N: I wanted to write something with Duck to get back into practice and it ended up being waaaaay longer than I thought it was going to be. Also ended up being a Lucifer and Duck getting together fic.

Summary: After Diavolo’s confession, Duck returns to Serenity Manor to find their demons in crisis.

Mentions/warnings: Duck is she/they, discussions of relationship issues, not much else I can think of?, Duck is poly with the bros

Previous Duck and Lucifer fics for context: Pact, Drunken Night

———

Duck looked between the three demons in her room.

Satan, Asmo, and Belphie. Satan and Asmo regularly hung out with her together, and Satan and Belphie too for the Anti-Lucifer League. Even Asmo and Belphie, though rarer, would stay over, Asmo doing Belphie’s hair while he slept.

All three of them together? Duck couldn’t remember this particular combination before. Nor any reason why they wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Duck cleared their throat, waiting for an explanation about why they’d been ambushed the second they got home from talking to Diavolo. It wasn’t that strange for the brothers to want to spend time with them, but when they knew Duck would be tired, they usually didn’t barge in for no good reason.

Usually.

“We need to discuss something,” Satan began, then immediately winced.

“Nothing too big a deal!” Asmo rushed to add, shooting Satan a sharp look.

“It’s about the others,” Belphie finished, resting his chin against the back of Duck’s chair.

Duck let her heart beat come down for a moment, frowning at Satan for the phrase (or a variation) she hated more than anything.

“Okay,” they sighed, dropping off their bag in the corner and settling on their bed beside Asmo. “What’s going on?”

“It’s also about Lord Diavolo,” Satan explained, and now Duck winced. Belphie snorted.

“It’s been obvious to everyone - most obvious to me, but now even Mammon’s noticed it - that Lord Diavolo has an interest in you,” Asmo said in a rush, taking Duck’s hands in his own. His sunset eyes were urgent, and Duck groaned. It had literally just happened, how did they know so quickly?

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t-”

“We know you don’t.”

Belphie spoke up, sounding about a second away from sleep. He gave her a lazy grin. “You have better taste.”

“Regardless, that’s not the issue.” Satan leaned against the table, crossing his arms. “We know that there is no reason to be concerned with Lord Diavolo as far as our relationship goes.”

“But Mammon and Levi threw a fit! I thought Levi was going to summon Lotan to the human world!” Asmo ended up bouncing on the bed as he threw his arms around to make his point. “Even Lucifer seems upset!”

“That… makes sense, actually,” Duck muttered, thinking back to all the times Lucifer had interrupted Diavolo’s attempts to get her alone. “What about Beel?”

“Beel’s worried because Lucifer’s worried,” Belphie said, frowning. “And he’s worried you’ll get annoyed with his eating.”

“If I was going to, I already would have.” Duck shook their head, feeling the weight of the brothers’ gazes. “So, you want me to go fix things up?”

“We don’t want to put this sort of pressure on you,” Satan said, sounding genuinely apologetic. “But they won’t listen to us. Mammon’s going to bankrupt himself if he stays this upset.”

Duck rested their head against Asmo’s shoulder and sighed. He pressed a kiss against their hair.

“Mammon and Levi get insecure with you. They’re still getting used to… this,” Asmo waved his hand, seeming to encompass Duck and the House of Lamentation and Serenity Manor. “And with everything that happened last year, I think they’re especially worried that you might decide to go somewhere… easier.”

“But you know otherwise?” Duck asked. She suddenly felt a weight against her back as Belphie squished himself against her. Duck reached out a hand for Satan to take - not one to join a cuddle pile, he took it with a smile and squeezed.

“You’ve proven your feelings beyond a shadow of a doubt,” Satan assured, pressing a kiss to their palm.

“There’s no one better than me, and if you can get my brothers in the deal, then why would you ever choose anyone else?” Asmo winked, tugging Duck closer - and Belphie along with her.

“If you wanted to leave, you would’ve gone by now,” Belphie mumbled, echoing her earlier words. “Besides, there’s no way you leave us for Lord Diavolo of all people.”

“Belphie,” Satan warned without any heat.

“I just meant Duck wouldn’t want to be royalty,” Belphie said innocently. Duck scoffed and began to disentangle herself. Satan pulled her out of the pile.

“I’ll get to it. But I expect someone to take my breakfast duty tomorrow.”

“Happily. I’ll make some human world food for us to share, okay?” Satan wrapped his arms around Duck’s waist, a hug so quick they couldn’t respond before it was over. Satan still wasn’t used to expressing affection in front of others.

“I’ll help!” Asmo got up, leaving Belphie to slump over on Duck’s bed without any support. “I’ll get some sweet pastries. I’ve heard there’s a lot of options in the human world!”

“I’ll supervise,” Belphie mumbled.

“I’ll look forward to it.” Duck smiled, already deciding on her plan of attack. “Hopefully, everything will be back to normal by then.”

———

Duck’s first stop was the gym. It was often where Beel went when he was stressed - that or the kitchen - and since Belphie had said he was upset, this was their best bet.

As expected, Beel was benching weights with his eyebrows furrowed. Duck took a moment to look him over - the white tank top pulling up to show his stomach, the way his muscles moved beneath his skin, his eyes staring off into the distance despite carrying such a heavy weight. They waited until he’d finished his set and put the bar down before they knocked.

Beel startled, face flushing red as soon as he saw her.

Duck strode over and made herself at home on Beel’s lap. Beel quickly leaned away - not to put distance between them, but to put them face to face despite the difference in their height. He was considerate like that.

“Um, hi.” Beel blinked, still slightly looking down on them. “Is there something you needed?”

“Sort of,” Duck agreed, resting her hands on his chest. “I need to check in with you. Belphie said you were upset.”

Beel flushed again, and this time looked away. One hand was resting on her hip to steady her, and Duck felt him worrying at her shirt.

“I heard… that Lord Diavolo likes you a lot.”

“Mhm,” Duck agreed, waiting for him to go on.

Beel swallowed heavily and continued. “I, um, I know that it’s not always easy for you here. In the House.”

“You boys certainly keep me on my toes,” Duck agreed. They tapped on Beel’s face until he turned to face them. “I’m not gonna draw this out. I’m not leaving, Beel. I’m staying right where I am, with you and your brothers.”

“Lord Diavolo,” Beel began, then paused. “Lord Diavolo likes you a lot. And Barbatos would cook for you everyday.”

“Do you want me to go, Beel?” Duck asked, a little bewildered about how he was selling the prospect.

“No!” Beel insisted, sitting up enough to jolt her. He quickly stilled and helped her regain her balance. “But I… I don’t want you to have any regrets about staying here, either.”

“I don’t regret it, Beel.” Duck made sure to meet his eyes, let him see the truth in her. “I want to stay here. And nothing is going to convince me to leave.”

Beel relaxed for the first time since they’d entered. Duck sighed and rested their head against his chest.

“I know you and the others got worried, but it’s true. This is what I want. Not some fancy castle or royal title.”

Beel finally held her properly, pulling her closer and cradling her head.

“I’m glad. I don’t want you to go away.”

“Same here.” Duck allowed themselves a moment more to rest against Beel, but forced themselves to pull away. “But I do have to go right now to do my rounds. What do you say to a snack afterwards though?”

Beel smiled and helped her up.

“Thank you, Duck. I’ll wait downstairs.” He wrung his hands together, shoulders hunched in a way that belied his size. “Good luck with everyone else.”

“Thankfully, not all of you need talking to.” Duck pulled Beel down by his shirt into a quick kiss. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

———

Levi didn’t even respond to her knock, but his door opened easily. That, at least, was a good sign. At his most upset, Levi would curse his door not to open.

Henry swam placidly in his desk, acknowledging Duck’s entrance with a few bubbles. Levi himself was harder to find, but eventually Duck realised that the pile of pillows and plush toys in Levi’s bed was lumpier than usual.

“Hey, Levi.” The pile twitched. “Can I come in?”

There was no response, and Duck knew better than to take that as an invitation. Instead, they settled beside the tub, about where Levi’s head would be. They trailed a hand over the sea of soft, comforting things Levi had collected, letting him see where they were.

“Beel seems to think I’ll leave for Barbatos’ cooking. I imagine Mammon is thinking about how rich Diavolo is,” Duck mused, resting her cheek against the tub’s edge. “What about you, Levi? What do you think Diavolo has that I want?”

The pile shifted until Levi’s head breached the surface, facing away from Duck but leaning against the wall of the tub where she sat. A glance at his reflection in Henry’s tank revealed a deep frown, but she couldn’t tell if his eyes were squinted in anger or holding back tears.

“He is rich,” Levi mumbled. “You’d be able to buy any merch you want.”

“You’re the collector here, Levi,” Duck returned, leaning forward to rest their chin in his shoulder. “I said what he’d have that I want.”

Levi frowned again, but more pensive than upset this time. “You do usually just get a few little mementos… Well, he’s also a super cool and popular prince.”

“Mhm,” Duck prodded, letting her hands slowly creep around Levi’s shoulders.

“But… you don’t like big parties anyway, and it’s not like you want to be royalty.” The pile shifted again, and Duck realised she’d totally missed Levi was in his demon form - his tail pushed aside pillows and cushions to eventually find her arm. “He’s also really handsome.”

“Handsome?” Duck laughed. “Should I be the jealous one here, Levi?”

“D-don’t deny it!” Levi finally faced them, his cheeks bright red. Duck smiled patiently until he sighed, tail twisting in the air. “S-so… he really has nothing you’d want?”

“I’m glad you could figure that out on your own, with just a little push.” Duck pressed a light kiss against his cheek, and Levi yelped and sunk further into the bath again. “I know it’s tough for you Levi, but it makes me feel hurt when you doubt my feelings. I know you have trouble with your own confidence, but I know what I want.”

“I-I know,” Levi agreed, his tail settling and curling around her wrist. “I’m sorry. I don’t- it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just-”

“I wish you could see yourself how I see you, Levi,” Duck finished for him, cutting him off when they spied the beginnings of a self-loathing spiral. “But until then, I’ll be here to remind you. I love you, and no amount of anime merch or popularity is gonna change that.”

Levi surged forward, plush toys flying through the air, and Duck found themselves half-dragged into the tub. Levi’s tail cushioned them, stopped the edge of the porcelain from digging in.

They stayed like that, in silence, until Duck eventually wiggled away. Levi helped lower them back onto the ground.

“I’d love to stay longer, but I’ve still got one more visit to make before bed,” she said, a shrug and a smile she hoped conveyed that she really did want to stay longer. “I did offer to grab a snack with Beel though, if you want to join?”

Levi forced a smile - but at least it wasn’t entirely fake. “I-it’s okay. I’ll, um, see you down there?”

“Of course.” Duck pressed one last kiss to his hair, and headed across the hall.

———

“Mammon.”

“Nuh-uh! Not a chance.”

“Mammon, you know I can kick down doors, right?”

“No way! And if you do, I’m coming to you for the repair bill!”

Duck groaned and muttered a word that rhymed with her name.

Kicking down the door was an option… but she’d prefer not to take such a drastic measure, especially since Mammon was already in a heightened state. She also wasn’t entirely sure how that’d effect the portal between Serenity Manor and Mammon’s room in the demon world.

When Mammon doubted their relationship, he got upset. When Mammon got upset, he could get nasty - and while he wasn’t quite at the worst Duck had seen him at before, he was still defensive, putting every barrier he could between them.

“I guess I’ll just sit out here until your package from Akuzon arrives and you have to open the door.” Duck, as good as their word, sat in front of Mammon’s locked door.

“Not this time! Akuzon akudrone delivery! It’s coming in through the window!”

Thunk.

Duck’s head hit Mammon’s door as she groaned. She was seriously starting to feel the weight of the day, and she didn’t want to waste time arguing with Mammon.

“C’mon, Mammon, you know I don’t like using the pact for shit like this.”

Duck rested their eyes shut, trying to breathe deep. It was hard not to get annoyed at Diavolo for kickstarting this, even if he hadn’t meant to. At this rate, Duck might have to travel to the Devildom via someone’s room and climb up to the window, or really use the pact.

Duck was still thinking when the door swung open and they fell straight onto their back.

Mammon cursed and half-dragged, half-carried her through the doorway by her collar, dropping her to the floor again once he could shut his door.

As soon as she was in, Mammon stormed over to his couch and sat there, facing away from her.

Duck shook off the last of their daze and stood, following Mammon.

“Mammon, c’mon. I already talked to Beel and Levi. I saved you for last because I was hoping you’d know me better.”

Mammon huffed and pulled his jacket closer around him.

When Duck tried to sit down beside him, he shuffled away - when they tried to move into his line of sight, he twisted and turned.

With a sigh, Duck moved in front of him and, before he could react, folding their legs beneath them. They rested their arms on his knees, forcing him to stay where he was - or drag them along for the ride.

At this angle, she could see through his crossed arms and sunglasses to his eyes, which widened as he finally met hers.

“Wh- what the hell are ya doing?” Mammon stuttered, blushing and trying to avoid their gaze. “I didn’t even want you in here. Ya should be grateful I let you get so close, and not push your luck!”

“Mammon, have I not been paying enough attention to you?” Duck asked.

Mammon froze. “Wh-”

“This whole kind of relationship is new to me, too.” Duck rested her chin against Mammon’s leg, looking up at him through her lashes. “I’m trying my best to make sure I give you all enough attention. But sometimes I’m not sure how it’s going. Was I neglecting you?”

“N- that’s not the point, human!” Mammon burst out, and Duck felt a little bad about drawing the attention to herself and not Mammon. But she had to get him talking somehow. “The problem is - is the one demon in the Devildom who could take you away is making his move!”

“Mammon,” Duck began slowly, carefully lifting herself onto the couch. “What do you mean, take me away?”

Mammon flushed and turned away, but there was no chance Duck was letting this go. They threw their arms and legs around his back, clinging on like a koala while Mammon sputtered.

“I’m not a bag, Mammon. Someone can’t just pick me up and carry me out.”

Mammon stood up, gripping Duck’s legs to keep her upright as she shrieked. “I beg to differ.”

Duck smacked his shoulder - but their wide grin matched Mammon’s, who gave a twirl before dropping them both back onto the couch. This time he faced Duck, and the smile dropped.

“It’s just… my brothers are one thing, but Lord Diavolo is something else. He could sweep you away to the castle for all sorts of fancy stuff. Or change it so you stayed at the castle instead of the House. Or even if you just liked him, it would split your time away from us…”

Ah.

Mammon wasn’t mad. He was scared - acting out because if he pushed them away, maybe it would hurt less if Diavolo really changed things up.

“I don’t like him, though.” After a moment of consideration, Duck added: “Not like that, at least.”

“Good!” Mammon pulled them closer by the front of their shirt, arms wrapping around them and keeping them firmly to his chest. They couldn’t see his face. “You haven’t been neglecting me or whatever. I… I’m still getting used to this whole thing, but I ain’t upset about it or mad at you. I know ya…” Mammon cleared his throat. “I know ya love us all. I just… I don’t wanna compete with the Demon Prince, y’know?”

“Well, good thing for you it’s not a competition.” Duck managed to wiggle her head out enough to press a kiss to Mammon’s neck - his shout was reward enough. “Like anyone could take me away from the Great Mammon.”

Mammon rolled back, pulling Duck with him as she laughed until they were lying, face to face, on the couch. Mammon’s cheeks were stilled flushed, his dark skin tinged darker, but he managed to meet their eyes.

“I love you,” Mammon whispered, as if he couldn’t quite believe it himself. Duck wasn’t sure who moved first but their foreheads pressed together, her eyes slipping shut as she felt rested for the first time that night.

Mammon shook her back up.

“Hate to do this to ya,” Mammon said, and Duck believed it by the way his hands lingered on her back, the slow motion of him sitting up. “But you do have one more stop to make.”

Duck groaned and flopped back down. “Lucifer and I aren’t-”

“I won’t pretend I get what’s going on with you and him.” Mammon shifted, and Duck thought that of all his brothers, Mammon probably had the best understanding of it. “But he’s been worried too, in that Lucifer way that means he’s gonna be an ass to everyone even more than he normally is. He ain’t gonna listen to me, so…”

Mammon looked at her with blue and gold eyes, bright and beautiful as the sky in the human world. Duck would, unfortunately, do anything for those eyes.

“Fine.” Duck reached for Mammon, who pulled them up without any of his usual complaining. “But we’re meeting downstairs in a bit for snacks, so come grab me after a bit. You’re my escape route.”

“I’ll grab you after I get the best pick of the food.” Mammon walked Duck to his door. He paused, but pressed a blinding fast kiss to their forehead. “I gotta cancel some online orders first. Good luck.”

“I’ll need it.”

———

Duck made a beeline for Lucifer’s office, all the while thinking of what to say.

Duck knew her demons well by now. They knew that she and Lucifer were a point of contention. They knew it was awkward to be dating six of the seven brothers, especially when the bulk of that relationship took place within the walls they all shared.

The entrance to Lucifer’s office in Serenity Manor was too close. Before they could sort out their head, they were in the library.

She wanted to wait, think about what to say, but the door opened before she was halfway there.

“Come in,” Lucifer called.

The sound of pen against parchment filled Duck’s ears as she entered, taking in the room. The record player was spinning, but not playing - a sign Lucifer had stopped the music just before she entered, the record actually cursed instead of just rumoured to be. Lucifer himself seemed perfectly normal - for him, anyway - but Duck noticed the way is eyes followed her from where he sat.

The door closed behind them.

Picking up the pace, trying to make up for their earlier hesitation, Duck rounded the desk and perched on the edge, beside Lucifer. He looked up at them with a raised brow, putting his parchmentwork to the side.

“To what do I owe the pleasure this evening?” Lucifer asked, turning his chair towards them.

“I think you can make a good guess,” Duck replied. It was nice getting to look down on Lucifer for once, so of course he had to ruin it by standing.

“I’m aware you’ve been talking to my brothers,” Lucifer said, and Duck had long stopped asking how he knew everything that happened in the House. “I appreciate you taking the time to clear the matter up. I hope you know their feelings do not reflect on any action or lack of your own, of course. It is Mammon and Levi’s nature to overreact to such things.”

“Thank you,” Duck said, craning her neck to look up at him. Lucifer took a step back and moved towards the cabinet, removing the record from the player. “Belphie seems to think Beel was upset because you were upset.”

Lucifer scoffed, but the sound was a little too forced. Had Duck gotten particularly good at reading him, or was he letting them figure it out? Giving little signs he knew they’d pick up on?

“And why would I be upset?” Lucifer asked, returning with two glasses. He handed her the one filled with fruit juice from the human world, something he’d starting stocking in his office last year.

“Why would you?” Duck asked, but it was more of a sigh and Lucifer eyed them warily as they drank.

“You look tired.”

“I am tired.”

Suddenly, the weight of the last few days - rejecting Diavolo, Barbatos’ too-knowing look, the sorcerer’s trials, settling things with the brothers, even the fun at the park - had caught up to them. Lucifer had returned to their side - hovering, really - and with the thought of to hell with it, Duck threw their arms around him and rested their head against the silky fabric of his vest.

Sudden physical contact always made the pact surge - she’d gotten used to it with everyone but Lucifer, whose touch was rarer and whose reactions were stronger.

Duck took a moment to breathe in the feeling of soaring as Lucifer’s strength rose in her, borrowing just enough to stave off the headache developing behind her eyes.

It was only then that Lucifer managed to recover, his arms wrapping around them but pushing them back, guiding them to the couch where he sat them both down.

“You didn’t hear any of that record, did you?” Lucifer asked, checking over them. His red eyes were almost black now that he faced away from the fire. “It really is dangerous to humans, that one. I hadn’t listened to it since you arrived…”

“Then why listen to it now?” Duck asked. She really did feel better after drawing on the pact, but she was still tired. Tired of the anxious energy in the house, tired of thinking through everything she said with everyone together, tired of never knowing how far to push.

“Because I…” Lucifer looked away. It was almost the sort of vulnerability that Duck craved from him.

“Because you thought I wouldn’t come.” Duck couldn’t blame him, seeing as they hadn’t originally planned to. But that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? Duck had their reasons for not being with Lucifer. Reasons that nobody questioned or pushed them on. Reasons they weren’t sure anyone really understood. “Did you think I wouldn’t come to you, or did you think I’d be in the castle?”

Lucifer cleared his throat. “I… I did not think you would be in the castle, seeing as everyone is now in the human world for the term.”

“So you thought I’d be at his hotel…?”

“No,” Lucifer admitted. He still hadn’t let go of her. “Honestly, I had hoped Mammon and Levi would occupy more of your time. It seems you’ve gotten quite good at… at supporting them.”

“I’ve had lots of practice,” Duck joked, but Lucifer only winced. He squeezed their shoulders and seemed ready to pull away, but Duck placed their hands over his and tried to meet his eyes. “Lucifer, please. What’s going on in that head of yours? Help me understand.”

Lucifer froze, lips parted and eyes wide, and Duck would’ve laughed at such a naked expression of shock if they weren’t so desperate to- to know what words to say, to know what to do that would finally bridge the gap between them.

“I- You do not need to-” But whatever Lucifer saw in Duck’s expression in that moment froze him again, and Duck was mortified at the tears she felt rising against her will.

Every time, every time with Lucifer - the walls, the deflections, the romantic lines that were honest, but so rarely open - loving, but so rarely willing to be loved. Duck sort of wanted to scream. After everything, did he not trust her? Not respect her? Did she even have the right to expect that of him?

Of course, crying in front of Lucifer wouldn’t help their case.

“Please, Lucifer,” they repeated, and Lucifer swallowed.

“I-” and Lucifer paused again, this time seeming to gather his thoughts - his gaze distant, but not hiding the furrow to his brow. “Last year, when my memories were gone…”

Duck nodded, encouraging him to continue, any tears drying with their attention on Lucifer’s words. It wasn’t the start they’d expected to his words, but Lucifer could take his time if he was being honest.

“It was freeing. I had no memories of my relationships of course, but the feelings were there. I loved my brothers and felt frustrated that I couldn’t calm their worries. And you- when I woke up, and saw you-” Lucifer cupped her cheek, his touch oh so gentle - gaze almost awed. “I knew immediately that you were important to me. When you were vague about our relationship, it hurt - but I felt free to pursue you, to try and win your favour. I couldn’t believe my past self had made so many mistakes with you.”

Duck opened her mouth to protest, but the same hand that cupped her cheek lightly covered her mouth - she got the message. Lucifer was having a hard enough time speaking about this as it was, and any interruptions might stop him.

“And then that night, the dagger…” They both shuddered. Lucifer reached for their other hand and Duck gave it, letting him trace the ring of light on their finger. “I thought that I could protect you and my brothers. I couldn’t remember any of my other responsibilities, only that - that I would do anything for you all to be safe. I didn’t really think myself… necessary to the dynamic.”

Duck didn’t speak, but she made her protest with that thought clear the only way she could think of - biting Lucifer’s hand. He laughed, but it faded quickly.

“And then the dagger rested over your heart,” Lucifer murmured, his gaze fixed to the spot where it had been. “And then the ring, and you collapsed. I regained my memories but I’d thought - I nearly lost you, and as my memories returned, I recalled all the other times you’d nearly gone beyond my reach.”

“I’m here,” Duck said, breaking their silence - but Lucifer didn’t shut down again, only tucked a strand of hair behind their ear.

“I know. And before my eyes you were building your relationship with each of my brothers, forging your connection with them, and each time I sat on the outside - it seemed with my memories, we could barely interact without clashing, that once more I couldn’t see my place with you.”

Lucifer took a deep breath. “My fear is not that Lord Diavolo himself will take you away, as you have made your feelings clear and I do not think he would disrespect such a direct response. My fear is that I have no place by your side, and that my own failings will eventually become too much for you to bare, and you will be forced to leave to maintain your own comfort - and either my lack causes my brothers to lose the best person that has come into our lives in millennia, or I will be left behind. Lord Diavolo’s feelings simply were a… focal point for those fears.”

As much as Duck flushed at the best person comment, they fixed on the rest of it. “Lucifer, that’s insane! Your brothers aren’t going to leave. I’m not going to leave. No one’s leaving this- our family.”

“I did not say these fears were rational,” Lucifer returned, though he was as off guard as Duck had ever seen him. “Isn’t it said that humans fear the unknown? Perhaps that is true for demons too. I fear all that I do not know. I do not know the future. I do not know if Lord Diavolo will pursue you further. I do not know if - I do not know what words can express my love for you, nor what I can do to… to make you want to open your heart to me.”

Duck sighed and lay her head against Lucifer again, trying to take a moment to gather her thoughts. Lucifer let her, one hand coming to rest against her hair, gently smoothing it out.

It was tempting to tell him he was an idiot and leave - reassure him of his place with his brothers, with Duck, and deal with the rest of it some other day. The problem was they’d both been leaving things for some other day for a while now. Since the moment they’d made the pact, really.

“Do you remember when you came home drunk last year?”

Lucifer’s grip on Duck tightened, which they took as a yes.

“I trust you would’ve mentioned before now if I did anything particularly… concerning,” Lucifer began, and Duck can’t stop a quiet snort of laughter.

“Not at all. In fact, you were very sweet.”

Lucifer groaned. Duck felt the reverberations through his chest.

“I sort of guessed you wouldn’t remember much,” Duck continued. Lucifer had taken to playing with their hair. Duck didn’t like their hair touched normally - too many people had tugged it, mussed it, or otherwise annoyed them - but Lucifer was careful, and it felt nice. “But you said some… interesting things.”

“Interesting,” Lucifer muttered. He shifted back so they could look each other in the eyes, but did not relinquish his grip on their shoulders.

“Revealing,” Duck clarified, and wondered if she was being cruel, to keep him in suspense. It wasn’t intentional. What to say, how much to say, what she even wanted out of tonight - she was still making it all up on the fly.

Lucifer was reading their face carefully, but didn’t see any tricks or anger. “I can’t imagine I said anything drunk I would not be willing to say sober. I love you, and I will repeat that fact as often or as little as you prefer.”

“I love you, too.”

Air hissed through Lucifer’s teeth and Duck would’ve thought she’d hit him. Why? It wasn’t the first time she’d said so. Maybe it was the quiet, or the study, or the strange honesty that had overtaken them both.

“You say that, but… I want to understand,” Lucifer said slowly, picking his words. “I will not argue with you. I love you. You love me. Then… why…?”

“Why aren’t we together?” Duck guessed.

Lucifer nodded gravely. “I admit, I had assumed your feelings for me simply didn’t… match mine for you. That I had misread certain signs. I didn’t doubt your love, exactly,” Lucifer hurried to add when Duck failed to hide their surprise, “just the nature of it. Your love could have been strictly platonic or familial. And love is quite separate from like. Both are needed for a proper relationship.”

“I have loved you for a while, Lucifer,” Duck said, and knew what he was thinking - of their other conversation in the study, the pact, the kiss, the leaving. “It is not a lack of love that’s the issue. And for the record, I like you, too.”

“Then tell me what is,” Lucifer whispered, his fingers trembling against their back. “Please, allow me to understand.”

“That night when you were drunk,” Duck began, “we had pretty much the same conversation.”

Lucifer listened intently, though Duck felt strangely free under his gaze.

“You asked why I didn’t let you so close. I stand by my answer then, but I think things have changed a bit, too.

“I do love you. And I believe you love me. But you don’t… I’ve never really felt like you trusted me.”

“Of course I trust you,” Lucifer said, and it almost sounded harsh - but Duck could read Lucifer’s tone pretty well now, and knew it was only him trying to be firm.

“I think you think you do,” Duck continued, and Lucifer frowned. “But you don’t- ugh, I feel like I’m repeating myself from then.”

“Then repeat yourself. I’ll remember this time.”

“Love isn’t the issue. The issue is I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t view me as an equal.”

Lucifer shifted, a rare sight where he was so visibly uncomfortable. “Well…”

“Not your equal in power, or authority,” Duck explained. “Your equal in a relationship.”

“When have I not treated you as an equal?” Lucifer asked in that same tone, bordering on harsh and demanding. He paused, looked away. “After our pact, that is.”

“I’m not holding a grudge over anything before that.” Duck tried for a smile. It fell flat. “How about immediately after the pact, when you told me how I always wanted to kiss you?”

Lucifer flushed. “I truly am sorry for that.”

“I know. And how about when you tried to throw away the gift Mammon got for me?”

“It was cursed!” Lucifer protested. Duck stared at him. “I… did not think it was of great importance.”

“I did appreciate one thing from the carnival,” Duck offered, and Lucifer immediately perked up in a way she wanted to describe as cute. “On the Ferris wheel… when you told me about your worries, with Diavolo and Solomon.”

Duck paused as she watched Lucifer think. His brow furrowed, his mind working behind those dark eyes, until he turned towards her with a frown.

“I might’ve guessed from some of my brothers… you prefer someone who needs you to solve their problems?”

Now Lucifer was looking to hurt, and Duck’s ire rose with his. It would be so, so easy to growl and snarl back, to storm out, even to throw Lucifer’s pride back in his face. I thought you said you wouldn’t argue.

Instead, Duck stood up and paused - just long enough to see Lucifer’s scowl break into an expression of regret, just long enough to kneel on the couch and force them at eye level. Duck gripped Lucifer’s face with both hands, making sure he was looking at them.

“I cannot be in a relationship with someone,” they said slowly, enunciating each word, “who sees me as someone to give orders to. I am not one of your brothers. I’m not even an exchange student right now. You have no responsibility or authority over me.”

Lucifer understood, Duck could see, and wasn’t surprised by that. Their pride lay at the heart of that issue, and pride was what Lucifer knew well.

“I also,” Duck continued, “can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t go to me for help, or only goes to me for help as a last resort. I can’t be together with someone who will hide when they’re upset until it bubbles up and they lash out - and it does happen, don’t argue with me - and I can’t be with someone who sees me as a task to tick off instead of a partner.”

Duck didn’t realise how much force they’d been putting into their words until they found their chest heaving. They cleared their throat as they recovered, slowly loosening their grip on Lucifer’s cheeks. Lucifer’s expression was as blank as they’d ever seen it. They sat back and tried to figure out exactly what they’d just said.

“I don’t see you as a task,” Lucifer murmured, but their was no real force behind it. He didn’t seem to be quite meeting their eye, his gaze unfocused.

“Maybe not a task,” Duck allowed. “But a responsibility. Something to be taken care of, not… not relied on.” Duck swallowed. Was it hubris, to even expect Lucifer to rely on them at all? They were only a human, magic or no, at the end of the day. Lucifer was ancient, more powerful than most beings could even dream of being. They couldn’t exactly argue with his viewpoint, but they couldn’t accept it either.

“You are always looking out for, and after, my brothers.” Lucifer’s hand found hers and he tugged until their eyes met again. “I wouldn’t… I don’t want to be another burden to you, when you have already…”

Duck shook her head and Lucifer trailed off.

“Do you think I see your brothers as burdens?”

Lucifer sighed. “Burdens no, but you cannot deny how tired you become. Tonight being an excellent example.” Duck gave him a shrug. “I don’t… I dislike the idea of being a source of pain for you. But it seems I’m too late on that,” Lucifer added ruefully.

“It’d be a whole lot easier if we just figured out how to talk straight to each other.” Duck squirmed on the couch until she let her feet back down onto the floor, sitting more naturally. “I’m not trying to say I’m perfect here, but I… I need to… I need to know, without question, that if you were suffering, or struggling, that you’d let me help. Even if it was something you couldn’t talk about because royal business or whatever, just letting me know you need the extra support. Something.”

“You are perfect for us,” Lucifer whispered, leaning forward until their foreheads pressed together. “Nothing else matters for me. And… I think I understand.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Duck couldn’t quite look Lucifer in the eye. All of a sudden it seemed absurd - what could she do for someone like him? Sorcerous power or not, she’d caused just as much trouble to Lucifer as anything she could fix.

Lucifer nudged them until they looked back at him.

“If I agree to… try,” he stumbled over the word, “and express any concerns to you more often, does that mean we…?”

“I mean… I guess?”

“You guess?” Lucifer frowned. “I’m going to need a clearer answer than that, Duck.”

“See, that’s what I mean! You told me what you needed.” It was a weak joke, but it at least made Lucifer roll his eyes. “I mean, yes. If you allow me to be your partner, then yes, we can be… together. If you want.”

“I believe,” Lucifer whispered, and suddenly Duck was pulled tightly against him, their hands coming up to rest on his chest. “I have made what I want quite clear.”

The room was still, only the fire crackling in the fireplace offering sound or movement. Lucifer drew in a deep breath. One gloved hand brushed over their lips.

“May I…?”

Duck nodded.

Their lips met, Lucifer trying to pull them impossibly closer - Duck tangled one hand in his hair, the other trailing along his neck, shoulder, back.

Lucifer shifted again until Duck was sitting on his lap, and when Duck pressed him back he leaned against the couch. Duck raising herself up to straddle him. They broke apart, briefly, and while Duck was expecting the hungry look in his eyes - she wasn’t prepared for his gentleness, the soft, relaxed, fond set of his smile.

“I love you,” he said again.

“Oh shit!”

Duck startled, and while they didn’t fly apart Lucifer had to grip her hips to steady her.

Both Duck and Lucifer turned to the door to find Mammon, who wilted under their combined gazes.

“Um, food’s ready.” Mammon gestured vaguely downstairs. “Just a quick snack so. Get it while you can.”

“Mammon,” Lucifer growled.

“We’ll be a minute,” Duck said.

Mammon was out in a flash, and Duck sighed, already imagining the chaos they’d be walking into downstairs.

“A minute?”

“Yes, a minute, you horndog.”

Lucifer scowled at the term but, notably, didn’t argue. He did press another kiss to Duck’s jaw, then worked his way to her cheek.

“Lucifer.”

“I’ve waited a long time to do this,” he said simply, but gave her a break.

“We’ve got time later,” Duck teased. “When I’m not so tired.”

“Indeed, it’s been quite the day for you, hasn’t it?” Lucifer smiled in a way that instantly made Duck suspicious. “Shall I carry you downstairs?”

“Don’t even try it.”

But his arm already swept under her knees, the other supporting her back as he rose to his feet.

“Lucifer!”

“I do so love to hear you say my name.” Lucifer didn’t respond at all to Duck’s heels digging into his side, or their attempts to push themselves away.

“I’ll bite!” Duck paused for a moment and considered that might encourage him. “I’ll use the pact!”

At the door, Lucifer spun them to the ground, keeping his hold on Duck as they regained their balance. He hadn’t stopped grinning the whole time.

“I adore you,” Lucifer said simply, pulling her close again.

“And I think you’re wonderful,” Duck agreed, but pulled him forward. “Now can we please go before your brothers send a search party?”

Hand in hand, they descended the stairs of Serenity Manor.