#and this is just based off the stuff we know about him

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[cheerleaderman]

“I don’t really travel that much but this would be a great opportunity to learn”

[SR] Riddle Rosehearts - Festival wear

I added Riddle at the last moment , giving he’s thinking of becoming a medical mage plus he has a good relationship with Flori

Voice lines under cut

Groovy: [Locked]

Home: The grand duchess gave me some recommendations on books to look for

Home idle 1 : Flori was insistent on me coming to the festival, he made the excuse on me learning more about medicine but I know he really just wanted me to have fun

Home idle 2 : These plants are supposed to help with tooth aches, I believe Trey will appreciate it

Home idle 3 : My outfit is based on the great engineer though his story is a bit heartbreaking Sunrise kingdom doesn’t shy away from some the bad stuff.

Home idle- login : It’s quite lively here

Home idle-groovy : [Locked]

Home tap 1 : Of course I did some research before coming ask me anything you don’t completely understand

Home tap 2 : So the Thief the Princess married was actually a prince from the fallen Night kingdom, what a turn of events right out of novel

Home tap 3 : Jade has been really excited about the hiking trails, we should keep an eye out it would be troublesome having to him for going off the trails

Home tap 4 : Some The nobles have been whispering under their breath whenever our group goes by Rolene has been dealing with them for the most part

Home tap 5 : You would like to dance? Alright be sure to keep up

Home tap-groovy: [Locked]

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here again!! Lord knows I'm exhausted of this little girl but I wanted to touch on what all we have seen since Italy Birthday trip and Lukes recent like. 1. It was reported by someone who took a photo with Luke at the airport that he was alone. Meaning he flew back by himself. Rumor that he left two days before 2. We got radio silence from the group for a while. 3. Rory unfollowed sienna then it was reported on by the fan pages and then he followed her back. 4. Sienna unfollowed Jack Vine (this is the guy that Luke stays with when he didn't have a house) then it was reported on by the fan pages and she followed him back. The last couple days she's unfollowed him again. 5. Charmaine reposted on TikTok about NDA👀 6. Rory takes a trip with his mom. 7. Sienna likes a post of Hannah Dodd and Nicola from fashion week. 8. Sienna hasn't liked any type of photos of A since early August nor did she like that last Luke post. Now with all this information I'm sure we all can come up with some conclusions. I do think that Luke set up some type of NDA which in my opinion was necessary. We have to remember that Luke's management team is actually a very well-known and establish team this was told to me by people in the PR field. He doesn't have newbies. Now I'm sure that pissed a lot of his friends off. It made them keep quiet about things that they might not have wanted to be quiet about. We clearly see something going on. Now Luke liking A stuff. it was 10 1/2 hours after she posted on her grid with a story posted after four hours of the photos being live. Now the posting to her stories of the grid picture is a new thing. That didn't start till after Italy. What does that tell me? She knows that his notifications for her has been probably turned off. So in order for him to see her photos, she would have to post it in her story which he most likely watches those. This particular photo wasn't liked until after Nicola posted at the concert. I don't believe in coincidences. He got a notification that Nicole posted. Then he went online afterwards watching Nicola story. Now who to say it's not part of his NDA that he has with her that. But as I was thinking about all of this today, one of the interviews that Nic and Luke came to mind. When they were discussing red flags. And one of the questions was keeping up with an ex. Nic said something like I feel that how you speak of your ex says a lot about you or something like that. Remember, Luke listens to every single thing that Nikola has said. She's the one person in this world that he remembers how they met down to the chairs they had sat on. So he would remember stuff like this. So it could be an NDA thing or it could be him trying to be civil with his ex. Regardless of the like which does not tell you anything. The only thing that tells me is she is desperate for that like. She has to put it in her story so that he will see it, she wants that like so bad that she's doing something she never had to do before. Why does she want the like so bad? Because she can control the fandom. Every time Luke likes this girls picture people spiral. it's like on a photo. He's not commenting on it. He's not giving her heart eyes. He's not sharing it to his stories. He liked the picture. We don't know the reason why and we will never know. All I'm saying there is a lot going on BTS that's clearly evident by how they're all moving. We just gotta wait for Nicola to speak more. Remember, her voice should always outshine this girl's voice. Nicola has given us all hints that something more is happening. Let's trust her please

As always, love your thoughts and theories!

Here are some additional theories/thoughts I have about the SM events from today. Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts and interpretations based on all the publicly available information I have seen recently. So please do not take this as 100% fact!

N didn't post her Chappell Roan story until almost midnight her time

L THEN preceded to like A's post approximately 30 minutes after N's CR story- which at that point was technically the day AFTER A made her post

So my little delulu theory is that N went home to L after the concert with her besties, they cuddled up and caught up, N posted her story, this made L log on to IG and prompted him to do his obligatory like of miss A's post after seeing A's story

Some additional notes/thoughts:

Even if N DIDN'T go home to L, all of the available information Calm Theory Anon and I have laid out here tells me this. L DOES NOT HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON FOR A AND IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE IS POSTING. L IS DOING THIS WITH N THOUGH.

He also liked A's post within a really short time of N's CR story. Now, the only thing this definitively says is that L/N were on their IG accounts around the same period of time. But this was around 12:30 AM their time. It was pretty late at night, and like it's just an interestingggg coincidence if L/N were separate and just both getting on SM around the same time at that time at night. We also know N tends to go on SM when she is getting ready for bed (N has said this). And she posted the CR story around the time she most likely was getting home from the concert. I think there are just a lot of signs/clues pointing that L/N were together around midnight their time. And L was NOT at the CR concert, so that means she would have met up with L AFTER the concert. And if she was meeting L after the concert at that time at night, they were probably with each other the rest of the night. So this is what leads me to believe that N went home to L OR L got the notification for N's story and got on SM and saw A's story. The timing of it all is just very interestingggg to me 🤔

Lastly, A had to essentially BEG L for this like. Why does L still have to like her posts? I have no definitive answer. My thoughts are it's some sort of contractual agreement. Regardless, these likes have no direct indication of L/A's relationship BTS. If I look at the full picture of EVERYTHING, all the signs indicate that L/N are spending more time together (or just since August decided to start publicly hinting to the fandom that they are spending a lot of time together). And all the signs point to L/A not being on good terms, and that there was some sort of rupture in L's friend group around the Italy bday trip.

These are just my thoughts though. What does everyone else think?

[lolitakirstein]

Sore part 2/3

AN: GODDD WHY DO I WRITE SUCH LONG STUFF. There's just so much I want to put in. Anyway here is part one CW: Smut

I walked into the gym the next evening but it was more like a hobble. I'm more sore today than yesterday. I find Toji throwing punches at the punchbags. The sounds of his fist hitting the bag sound like gunshots and the bared teeth and scowl he's wearing are absolutely deadly.

I approach slowly, not wanting to startle him into whipping those fists around on me, but before I can say hi, he grabs the bag to still it.

"I've seen sloths move faster than you, grandma." He says breathlessly, wiping sweat from his brow.

"That's no way to treat a customer," I cross my arms and pout.

He chuckles and unwraps the taping from his large hands.

Am I really about to let this man touch me with those paws after what he just did to that bag?

"Is it still tight?"

"Excuse me," I shake out of my thoughts.

He rolls his eyes, "your neck? You said it was bothering you yesterday."

"oh, yeah." I try to save this conversation with humor. "But as you can see it's a bit more than my neck today. I'm more sore than yesterday"

"DOMS" he answers.

"Uhm, I"m more of a sub myself-"

He cuts me off with a booming laugh, "That's great to know, but DOMS is delayed onset muscle soreness. Happens from progressive overload."

My cheeks burn. Not only have I shown where my mind is twice (the gutter) I've also exposed my preferences (a whore).

"Youve been squatting heavier so it check out," he shrugs.

Is he hinting that he's been watching me squat?

"Yes I watch," he reads my mind.

"What? Why?"

He shrugs again, "I like to make sure everyone is using proper form."

"And how is my form?" i arch a brown

"Excellent," he croons, eyes slowing scanning my body. It's suddenly hotter than the sauna room in here.

"But you can quit the theatrics of pushing your ass out as far as you can. You'll hurt your lower back."

Fuck he is watching me be a whore

"I'll keep that in mind." I try to change the subject though I doubt where I'm going with this is any more appropriate. "So, if your not busy do you wanna take a look."

He pauses wiping off with a towel and we both stare at each other before it clicks what I just said.

"LOOK AT MY ALIGNMENT I MEAN!" i say quickly, but Toji already has a smug fucking looking gracing those scared lips.

+++

The gym's spa room is complete with a hot tub, sauna, tanning booths, and tables that customers can schedule for a masseuse to come in.

Toji gestures to the table, pressing a button that lowers it. "Hop on."

is he being suggestive now?

I sit on the table after removing my shoes. "How do you want me?"

Damn it's no wonder so many porns revolve around massaging, it's too damn easy.

"Well, let me feel your neck first." He steps behind me, "Is it ok if I touch you now?"

I nod. Fuck yes, you can sir.

"Let's get this hair out of the way," he says, gathering my hair in his large hand and laying it across my shoulder. The touch is gentle and comforting. Toji presses the pads of his thumbs along the base of my neck, "Tell me when it's tender."

He continues to palpate around my nape, hitting a tender spot right at the base of my skull. "Ouch right there, " i wince

He place his whole palm on the column of my neck, massaging up and down the area."Yeah, your really tight along the cervical spine area." (😏)

I pull away from his touch, too sore to take it.

"I'm sorry, too much?" He asks, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I nod and he waits for me to signal that he can continue.

"Do you get headaches alot?"

I nod again

"Hmph," he uses a lighter touch to prod my muscles. "Lay on your back for me."

I do as he instructs, placing my head in the desginated head rest.

Toji pulls a stool up, sitting his large thighs now framing my head. I close my eyes to not have to see him overtop of me. My face is literally between his legs wtf.

He puts both hands on the side of my neck, his fingertips push and rub against the base of my skull. It feels amazing in a painful way.

"Right there," i breathe when he hits a particular sore spot.

"Yeah? Does that feel good."

I whimper at the sensation...and at the low purr of his voice.

"I could adjust ya if ya let me. Just a quick crack."

"Uhm, I don't know," I sit up, suddently scared that this man is going to snap my neck. "That seems scary."

He laughs, "It wont hurt, I promise. Youll just hear the cracking like when you pop your knuckles."

I'm still unsure and look down at his large hands.

"I'll be gentle, I swear to you. It'll be quick." He eases me back down onto my back. "I won't kill ya. Would be a horrible PR stunt if i killed a woman in my own gym." He teases.

"Thanks, really reassuring thing to say with your hands around my throat." But damn if it wasn't a thrilling sensation to feel his warm palms pressing against my neck and his fingers slipping through my hair as he moves it out of the way.

"Alright," He pulls himself closer. My whole head is now fully in the palm of his hands. "Just relax, let me do the work."

I glance up quickly at yet another ambiguous comments. how many is that now.

I relax me head into his hands and his moves it side to side, feeling for the knots.

"Yeah right there it is," he says to himself.

Before I can think of anything salacious, Toji twist my neck to the side. A rush of heat enters my head and I gasp at the abrupt movement.

"There, breathe," he lays my head down on the table and rubs my shoulders encouragingly. "Good girl."

I take a deep breathe as more blood rushes to my head. it roars in my ears.

"Wasn't so bad was it?"

I shake my head. Too stunned to speak.

"How do you feel?"

"Wow, so much better" I laugh in relief at home incredible how my neck now feel.

"Now you said you have low back pain?" He swings around the side of the table. I nod. " Lay on your stomach."

Toji stands over my prone body, "I'm going to lift your shirt up a bit."

I feel the fabric slowly graze my low back, a chill springs up at the chill to the room temperature. But it's quickly heated by Toji's warm palms coming to rest right at the dimples above my ass. His thumbs dig it, moving in slow circles and I moan at the delicious pain.

"Seems like a pinched nerve. Nothing to adjust really."I hear toji readjust his positioning, "I need a better angle to push it back into place. "

He leans on the table, one knee bumping between mine so he's able to dig his thumb hard into my sacrum. "Just breathe."

I feel a nudge in my lower spine as he pushes into it, a tingling sensation shoots around my hips. I sigh in relief as the nerve is released.

"There we go," he continues to rub his thumbs into my back, and with the pain subsiding, I can't help but arch into his hands, losing myself to sensations. "Does that help?

When I nod, his hands move lower, spreading outward to grip my sides. "You have beautiful hips..."

I arch more into his touch, the movement causing my body to shift downwards, putting my aching core directly onto his knee. I fear I've gone too far but he doesn't move, just continues to rub my low back, moving slower, almost guiding my hips in circular motions.

The rough fabric of his sweats catches my already wet center. The thin yoga pants I'm wearing probably show just how aroused I am. I continue to grind on his knee; he continues to move my hips, completely silent as though he's afraid of snapping me out of this deviant act.

"Oh, god," I gasp, pushing my hard onto his knee as my orgasm rips through me. I lose myself in it, humping like a damn bitch in heat against him.

When I land back on earth and catch my breath, I push myself to my elbows. My hair sticks to my sweaty face.

Looking behind me at toji, I don't know what to expect. I see toji, still as a lake. His hands have loosened on my hips. He stares at me with pupils that completely engulf his green irises. His throat bobs as he swallows thickly and removes his knee from between my legs, coming to a standing position. My cheeks are on fire as I see the damp spot on his pants from me.

I stand quickly from the table, my blood rushes to my head and causes me to go blind momentarily. I stumble past him without waiting to see clearly.

After mumbling a thanks, I rush out the door, leaving my gym bag behind...

[theprenderelliepalace]

Tag, you owe me

☆• Five x reader •☆

Season 4 AU -The Umbrella Academy

A/n I'm pretending season 4 happened a lot less season 4ish- so imagine this:

Summary: After The Umbrella Academy stopped The Cleanse and saved the world, life was just as crazy as it had been before. It's Grace's 8th birthday and a lot has happened in two years for Five and the other Hargreeves, you being one of those things. Tensions are high at what should be a simple birthday party, so Five asks you to help him out. But when have you ever listened to Five?

Warnings: Fake dating, cannon typical Hargreaves chaos, fluff, no Five x Lila nonsense (but maybe a bit of drama...), no use of y/n, readers not a marigold baby (but could be), gramatical errors I'm sure, swearing etc.

•☆•

You met Five Hargreeves 2 years ago when you were a paper pusher for the CIA's cold case unit. He was rude, obnoxious in every sense of the word and irritatingly good at his job. Naturally you couldn't resist getting a coffee with him.

You only got strung along from there. Your first case that he dragged you into almost cost you your job and your life, but it also got you bumped up to your own undercover unit, where you spent your days bickering with the worst partner you could've dreamt of.

Two years later and you couldn't have hated him less, but you're trying to be civil.

"Hey Fiver, where'd you put those case files I asked you to sign off? - Mmph!!" Your words are muffled by a calloused hand covering your mouth. You squirm for freedom, your training kicking in. You look up briefly at your captor and physically deflate at the sight of him. You are tempted to scream and get him in trouble, but the look on his face makes you think twice.

"Not a word, or I swear-" You elbow him in the gut, not hard enough to hurt him, just hard enough to get a word in edgewise. His hand falls away in surprise.

You gasp for breath. "The hell are you doing you crazy mother-" His hand clamps over your mouth again. With his free hand, he points out into the lobby. You clock a Hispanic man with scraggly hair at reception. He seems to be talking to Sally at the front desk.

Based on your 2 years of experience with Five. You assume this is either a terrorist, or a family member. Judging by his overreaction, you guess family.

The man sighed at whatever Sally said to him and turns, walking down the hall towards the exit. Five frees you from his iron grip. You stumble away from him, turning on your heel with outrage written all over your face. "You need help."

He smirks, although he appears distracted. "Tell me something I don't know honey." You give him the finger.

"Fuck you. The hell was that about?" You snarl at him.

"Family business. Birthday party. Ugly, ugly stuff. Wouldn't want you to get involved. You might just mess up your nails." He mocks. Shuddering at the thought of his family.

"First of all, my nails are always fantastic. Secondly, don't bullshit me." Five quirks a brow at you. "You've been doing this song and dance with your mysterious 'family' since I first met you. You're just a coward in my book Fiver." You watch his jaw clench, taking satisfaction in striking a nerve.

"Oh. Okay, I see how it is partner. You want my crybaby, backstory? Well come 'n get it sister." He glares at you, waiting for you to accept the challenge. You scoff. This is ridiculous, you're well into your 20s, this whole thing is just juvenile.

"Can't we be more mature than this?" You plead, though sarcasm drips off your tongue with a lazy ease.

"One of us can't." He retorts. You roll your eyes. You've learned that when he gets like this, it's best to bow out for a few hours and wait for everything to return to normal.

"Okay. Okay. I'll get lost. But I warn you Fiver, this whole thing will only bite you in the ass one day." You shrug, making for the break room. He grabs your wrist.

"I hate that stupid nickname."

"I know you do. Honey." You taunt him. It's dangerous, but oh how it thrills you. He pulls you closer, your lips are dangerously close, but achingly far.

"You owe me, you know..." You watch the gears turn in his head as that look you know so well falls over his face. "An eye for an eye. What'dya say?" The smug smirk on his face is enough to make you want to smack him.

"How'd you figure that you fuckin' cowboy?" Your stomach swirls with hot, unadulterated hatred, and something else...

"Remember the Fortheim case?" He gambles, knowing he's already won.

"Okay! Okay... Enough said..." He leans back, satisfied.

"Atta girl." You slap him.

•☆•

And that little backstory, was how you ended up drinking apple juice at an 8 year-olds birthday party at a Lazer Tag joint downtown.

"Happy?" You ask Five, who's had you glued to his arm for the last 2 hours.

"Not a day in my life." He sighs. You shake your head, itching to snap back when you hear someone call his name.

"Five! Long time no see man." A gangly looking hipster saunters towards the two of you. You smile at him, you're not sure what it is, but you like him already. "Oooh, who's your little lady friend?"

"Girlfriend." You say.

"Date." He states. You and Five exchange glances.

Five clears his throat. "This is my brother, Klaus." Your partner straightens his tie, as though trying to blend into the wall and out of this conversation. Klaus hums in amusement, his eyes crinkling with silent mirth. The hippie extends a graceless arm towards Five, enveloping him in an iron side-hug.

"You'll forgive my brother. He's never been the social butterfly of our family." Klaus smiles, it's a stupid smile, but it makes your heart warm to the brotherly love evident in his gesture.

"I noticed." You smile at Five, who shrinks even further into the wall, if possible.

"So, Miss Five's Secret Girlfriend. Where did he find you?" Klaus inquires, almost as though he's speaking about the weather.

You laugh. "Oh some back alley somewhere. Nothing fancy."

"Klaus let me go." Five warns. Straining against his brothers grip. For a guy so skinny, he has incredible grip strength to hold onto his whirlwind of a brother.

Klaus ignores this demand. "Oh yes. Makes sense. Not that you look the alley-type sweetheart, I just know my brother." He winks at you.

You smirk in return. Thoroughly enjoying Fives suffering. "I guess you do."

Abruptly, Klaus releases Five, sending him hurtling backwards. You can barely stifle your giggles now. "Well, it's been a pleasure missy. You're too good for him by the way." Klaus struts off towards the food table, eyeing the chocolate éclairs hungrily.

"I agree." You say to Five, who's look of pure rage could topple buildings.

"I hate him." He scowls.

"Oh hush. He's great." You grab your fake boyfriend by the arm, tugging him towards a cluster of people talking behind a drink cooler, suddenly feeling all the more chatty.

"Five? I didn't think you'd come." Says a strikingly tall man with spiked blond hair. He glances at you and then at your hand clenched around Fives. The look of confusion on his face is priceless. "I- who? What -" Internally cackling at your newfound revelation, you make to reply.

"Hi, I'm Five's partner." Not entirely dishonest. You stick your hand towards him, he shakes it dumbly, lost for words.

"Five? A girlfriend? What, are we on a Prankshow?" Says the woman at his side. She eyes you suspiciously. "Sloane." She affirms. You nod with practiced ease.

Five looks about ready to kill. You decide to ease off some. "My other brother, Luther." Your partner growls. Luther smiles now, almost like he's somehow in on a very bad joke. He begins to say something, but you cut him off.

"It was nice to meet you both. Excuse me for a moment." You smile sweetly, heading for the bathrooms. You catch Fives deathstare. "Fiver." You wink. You cackle as you listen to the onslaught of questions and abuses from his family. Serves him right, dragging you all the way out here, explaining nothing and still managing to be the most cantankerous jerk you've ever met.

You duck behind a corner, taking a corridor that leads into one of the Lazer Tag rooms. You decide to wait until they cut the cake before you make your showstopping final appearance. You're feeling on top of the world until you feel a familiar hand clasp your wrist.

"When I said come to my nieces birthday party as a distraction, that was not what I meant."

You turn to face Five. "What, did you want us to make-out or something? Would that have been distracting enough?" You scoff, pulling your hand out of his. "You're such a prick Hargreaves, you know that? Dragging me out here as bait! What the hell am I even doing here? You've got a good enough relationship with your brothers. Why bother?"

He looks at down at his polished brogues, the lilac light from the strobing LEDs above making him look older, haggard even. "It's complicated."

"By all means, uncomplicate it."

"I- I had this thing with my brother's wife..."

"Jesus Five!"

He glares at you reproachfully. "Not like that dammit! He just thought... it was a godawful time in my life okay?" He sighs, like the weight of the confession was boring into his chest.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry like that, but we're partners Five. We don't trick each other for petty stuff." You smile. "If you wanted to ask me out that bad, you shouldda just asked." You tease.

He smiles wryly. "That obvious huh?"

What? "What?" You gulp, dumbfounded.

He laughs at you, this achingly amazing laugh that catches you, making your laugh echo his in a sweet bubble of silliness.

"I've got to have a word with my brother, but," He smiles nervously at you. That's a first. "Do you wanna get outta here?"

"Depends on what I have an itch for." You smile coyly.

"Coffee?"

"Coffee."

He winks at you. "You got it partner." Suddenly your face becomes hot, you look away, enjoying the new meaning in the word. You glance up again, ready for a comeback only to find Five absent. It was strange, you could've swarn he couldn't have gone anywhere without you hearing him go. It was such a tight space, with hartily creaking floors.

In your stupor, you made your way back to the main party area. Finding Five, engrossed in conversation with the Hispanic man from earlier. You make your way over to them.

"Don't sweat it man. We're cool, Lila's cool."

"Says who?" You hear a woman's English accent from behind a brightly coloured piñata. The Hispanic man rolls his eyes.

"Don't listen to her. We're all good now Five. I get it, it was seven years."

Five tenses. "Nothing happened Diego." Diego laughs.

"I forget what a prude you are sometimes man. Chill. But I get it, you're trynna impress your new chica, right?" Diego glances at you slyly. You squirm slightly. Five turns, spots you and huffs.

"Okay. Goodbye. I've had enough of this family for one afternoon. Come on you." He waves at you over his shoulder.

"What? What girl- oh!" Lila, apparently, peers around the piñata and laughs, the complete hysterical kind. "Never in my life..." She pats Five on the shoulder, uttering something you can't hear.

By now, there are 7 people surrounding you, all smirking like idiots. You find it endearing.

You decide to take matters into your own hands. You take Fives hand, drag him away from his family and towards the door, but not before planting your palms tenderly on either side of his face and pressing your lips to his. He gasps into your kiss but his hands find your waist eventually, pulling you into him.

His siblings jeer and catcall, but you get the sense he doesn't care anymore. You giggle into the kiss as you watch him give them the finger. He pulls away from you, stranding out to the parking lot.

You gaze fondly at the people in the lobby and give them the bow they deserve. "Thank you and goodnight!" You smile at the laughter that echoes after you as the doors close behind you.

You race to catch up to Five, who's already waiting to open the passenger door for you. "I like your family Fiver."

He smiles, "They like you honey."

•☆•

[youcouldstartacult]

niall’s confidence this era>>>> i’m living for it!!

no it’s INSANE! like 2020 niall versus today :’)))

it warms my heart i’m so happy for him

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[skunkes]

i dont like when character being blunt/having no filter = character just being Mean, and im trying to find a good balance with that for Talon. I guess it's not that hard since he's not an (active) overthinker and I have drawn him saying things he considers neutral that seem rude to others...I guess I have to find a way to show the opposite, too

[brittlebutch]

actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I love Monkie kid and the way they tell stories but oh my GODS this unreliable narrator stuff starting to stress me out

(Note: i've only seen up to ses 4 ep 8 no spoilers in the tags please)

[snekdood]

[munamania]

ok. so she stayed over until like. 6am. and this is so hard because well i do like her sooo much and we hung out for like. 9 hours. and obviously i can be so normal about that but it’s like. i feel like. i know im meant to know her. but dear god why did it have to be in this capacity. im gonna go insane

[todayisafridaynight]

I feel like it would be fun to see Leo's actor in Mole Song Final play Ryuji... that's the only person that comes to mind 😭😭

BUT YEAH 4 was the first mainline entry with (proper) faceclaims! I would kill to see faceclaims get to play their characters. Because they actually aren't mocapped by them, just voiced and scanned in--the acting is all done by RGGS' mocap actors. If you're mentally ill enough you'll start to notice acting decisions that differ from what the actual actor would've gone for; Arakawa doesn't cry the way Nakai does, for example. NGL the animations get kind of uncanny at times if you're too mentally ill so I would not recommend paying quite that much attention lol

I was trying not to think about it though because even if we By Some Miracle got to "season 7" (8 if they do 0) it's entirely possible Nakai and/or Tsutsumi won't be acting anymore by then 😭😭😭😭😭Tsutsumi wants to start directing by the time he's 60... That's chiefly why I kinda wanted it to be an adaptation of 7 before we knew any of the specifics... But Oh Well, it is what it is

ANYWAYS. Very excited for stream tomorrow and best of luck getting stuff done for today :D

YEAH LIKE UNDOUBTEDLY he gave such big ryuji vibes and had an epic presence..... if i allowed myself to dream just this once he would be a real good contender for ryuji......

ohhh yeah nonono ive definitely noticed DONT WORRY. whenever i draw or write fics, i always try to imagine the actual character first to see if the expression or dialogue fits them and if it's believable. having dove more into tsutsumi and nakai movies and shows, the difference is REALLY apparent to me (in that vein tho, it's easy for me to see them as individual characters as opposed to actors playing characters, so it's a little bit of a win for me somehow lmao)

YEAH NOOO THATS DEF A VERY LIKELY POSSIBILITY SHOULD THE SERIES SOMEHOW GET TO THAT POINT IN THE GAMES. again i doubt we'll actually get that far, but in the rare event that we do i hope nakai and tsutsumi do whatever makes them happy (and id def be into seein a movie directed by tsutsumi) (❁´◡`❁)

I REMEMEBR THATLKVJELK WHICH ONE OF YOU FIENDS SENT ME THAT FANCAST SITE IN THE FIRST PLACE ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[waugh-bao]

Have you ever seen the British sitcom ‘Keeping Up Appearances’? Sometimes I get Hyacinth and Richard vibes from Mick and Charlie, especially in pics where Mick looks smug and Charlie looks put-upon. Keith would be Onslow.

Yes! This might be the most perfect analogy ever, honestly.

[aria-33-20]

Callisto Yin’s Burning Mark

In a park in the First City, under the shelter of the Traveler, a group of children - one human, one awoken, one eliksni, one cabal, and a psion - played a game of tag together. They chased each other through the grass and the trees, laughing and shrieking with delight, until the eliksni called a time-out suddenly.

“What gives, Miz?” The human asked him.

“Remember that storyteller I told you guys about? The one with the story about the Titan from back in the City Age? That’s her,” he replied, pointing toward a nearby bench. On it sat an elderly lady with a severe look, tapping away on a datapad.

“Okay, so?”

Miz turned to him with a look of annoyance. “You guys wanted to hear it, right? She hasn’t been here in forever, what if she never shows up again? We should ask her to tell us the story.”

The awoken girl quickly chimed in. “She looks scary though. I don’t think we should bother her.”

“Your tusk is too short, Maryam,” responded the cabal child. “I’ll go do it.”

“I can’t even grow tusks, Vorri!” she shouted in indignation.

“You came from a lab, surely you can give yourself some.”

The human boy tapped Miz on the shoulder. “Hey, where did Varec go?”

Miz looked away from the two girls getting into it, only to see his psion friend already walking up to the bench.

——————

The old lady’s concentration was broken by a tapping on her knee. For a brief moment as she looked up, her face contorted with frustration, only to change to surprise at the sight of a psion child in front of her.

“Hello there. Do you need something?”

The child pointed first at their chest, then at her head, a nonverbal request to communicate in their native language. She nodded a yes a in response, and a psionic greeting filled her head, followed by the word “Varec” and a series of images and small sensory experiences that she quickly realized were their names. The feeling of friendship came next, then questioning, and something she could only call the experience of getting caught up in a story.

“Your friend,” she confirmed, “said I have a story to tell?”

The psion nodded.

“Is your friend here now?”

The psion nodded again, then pointed back at Miz and their other friends. Surprise washed over the old lady’s face again.

“Miz, I see! I’d been hoping to see him again. Which story would you like to hear?”

The psion replied with an image of a human and a ghost on fire, causing her to draw back. Seeing her concern, they quickly changed the ghost to have a fire in its eye instead.

She thought for a moment, then realized which story they were referring to. “Ah, the one I told Miz before about the Risen you see sometimes whose ghosts have fire inside. Hm… could I ask you to help me create some images to go along with it?”

The psion lifted their hand in a thumbs-up.

“Wonderful!” Raising her voice, she called out to the other children. “Miz, I’m telling the story you heard before! Bring your other friends over here if they want to hear it.”

——————

This story takes place long ago, in humanity’s City Age, when the cabal were under the rule of their great hero Dominus Ghaul, and humanity was still at war with the cabal and eliksni; The First City was still called the Last City, and the Risen were still needed to protect us from those who sought us harm.

During this time, the Risen defenders of the City, the Guardians, divided themselves into classes: Hunters, lone scouts who braved the wilderness outside the walls to see who was preparing to move against us and stop them before they could gather strength; Warlocks, wise mages who worked tirelessly to understand our foes and the world around us; and Titans, towering defenders of the walls that kept us safe.

The Titans alone divided themselves further, into large groups they called Orders. Each order established for itself its own fighting style, doctrines, and icons. Most were dedicated to standing guard over sections of the walls, defending refugees fleeing to the City, or assisting with the City’s policing and peacekeeping.

One Titan Order was different though. With the ever-burning flame of the Fire Victorious as their icon, they called themselves the Firebreak Order, and they took it upon themselves to bring the fighting away from the City, to the strongholds of our foes. The Firebreak Order believed that by stopping them before they could move, our enemies would be unable to harm the City.

And they were not wrong. Many attacks on the City were thwarted by Firebreak assaults. However, other Titan Orders looked down on them. Their method of fighting was called “reckless,” and “needlessly aggressive.”

Perhaps it truly was, because when the City stepped into war with the cabal, Dominus Ghaul decided that the City’s strength made it a worthy opponent. He planned to crush the City all at once, to end the war that we started in one fell swoop, and so he sent in his very best. The Red Legion swept over the City’s walls under cover of smoke and storm to lay waste to it, and those defending them were powerless to stop the assault.

The Titans of the Firebreak Order, with their doctrine of offense, would later cast the blame on themselves for not being there to help with the defense. They claimed it was their fault the City fell, when there was so little they could have truly done. As for those of them still in the City… well, most of them didn’t survive to blame themselves. But those who did stand proud, because what they did then may have saved the Order.

When the Red Legion marched into Firebreak Plaza, home of the Order’s headquarters, they met fierce resistance from those of the Order still there. They stood to defend the Fire Victorious, burning eternally in its place of honor at the center of the plaza. The line held for hours, even after Ghaul caged the Traveler and the Risen lost their Light. Dozens of civilians were sheltered in the plaza while they waited for City Hawks to evacuate them.

When Ghaul’s forces finally broke through, the Order despaired. Worn ragged, their remaining forces were pushed back all the way to the burning pedestal at the center of the plaza. As cabal tanks came into view, a cry of fear, pain, and exhaustion could be heard. Those last few defenders knew that should even one of those tanks fire, the blast would not only obliterate them, but it would extinguish the Fire Victiorious. It would signal the end of the Firebreak Order, even if there were other members still alive outside the City.

In a fit of desperation, one Titan among them took action. Every Titan wore at their waist an icon, a mark. The mark was a piece of cloth signifying the deeds and influence of its wearer or the group they belonged to, and was shed after battles to show others to come what occurred there. Callisto Yin, one of the few Firebreak Titans to survive to that point, tore hers from her belt and cast the end of it into the Fire Victorious, and when it caught, gripped it tight in a closed fist as she broke for a gap in the cabal.

With her at the fore, the Firebreak Order abandoned the plaza. The eternal flame of the Fire Victorious was quickly extinguished by the cabal forces in the belief that it would break the Order’s spirits, but it lived on in Callisto Yin’s burning mark.

With the Order’s hope restored, they battled their way through the crumbling streets of the Last City, making for a gap in the walls where they could escape into the mountains beyond. Once free of the danger of the streets, the flame was passed to campfires and torches, to keep the Order warm and safe in the wilds.

In the weeks that followed, it would be split many times over and held by many hands, ensuring that even if one ember were to be extinguished, the rest would continue to burn. When the City was retaken, it was decided that the Fire Victorious would remain among the Order’s members, carried in the shells of their Ghosts. Though the Order is no longer active, their symbol still burns in the plaza and among those who once served it, pushing back the darkness when it creeps in close.

——————

The old storyteller smiled as the children returned to their games, having said their thanks for the tale shared with them. As she watched, a Ghost, glass windows in its shell flickering with flame, floated down to rest beside her.

“You know, if I remember correctly your mark was actually still clipped to your belt when you lit it on fire,” they noted.

“Of course,” she replied, still keeping an eye on the children, “but if they knew that I’d never hear the end of it.”

[tossball-stick]

im sorry nothing will ever beat my bf and i getting through new tales for the first time and sitting there slack jawed over anu just like. suddenly having cosmic eldritch horror shit happen to her without any warmup. after the constant tonal whiplash of the whole game. and then going "wow that sucked!! anyway cant wait to see the ending" and then we saw the cutscene of them visiting frans grave and somehow our jaws just fell to the floor