#and to remember it all it's so hard to decide which one is worse omg bc remembering the love is great but like most ppl probably focused

[elllisaaa]

Omg oMg omG OMG soft dom reader never going through with punishments so he/she decides the boys need one tonight bc minsung was touching without permission and they’re both subs so she/he watches hanji desperately try to fuck minho and minho trying to jerk off and they cant keep a steady rhythm so they switch and minho is on top but it makes it worse bc minho has a small cock. so eventually reader gives in and fucks them hard making them cry and then fluffy after care 💓

omg minsung x reader is my weakness (and 2min, but i'll talk about it another time) and subby men ??? that's another weakness (yes, i have many). thank you so much for sending me this (my first ask, i'm all giggly, kicking my feet and all (don't hesitate to send more)). I hope you'll like it even if I changed some details as inspiration flooded. also, sorry for answering to this a little late, i was very busy with my no nut november serie, but a lot more is coming, don't worry. thank you for your ask anon ! enjoy !

DISCIPLINE - SUB!MINSUNG x READER

-> pairing : sub!minho x dom!fem!reader x sub!jisung

-> words count : 3.5k

-> genre : smut, established relation, threesome

-> warnings : dom/sub dynamic, threesome, poly!relationship, punishment, dirty talk, teasing, mutual masturbation, oral (f. receiving, m. implied), swearing, use of 'good boy', 'puppy', 'brat', and 'slut', degradation, face slapping, voyeurism, dry humping, masturbation, body worship, hair pulling, mommy kink, handjob, footjob, cum eating

+ the way i'm depicting minho and jisung does not represent them, it's only a work of fiction !

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | skz masterlist

You never felt the need to punish Jisung, nor Minho. Your boyfriends were always very sweet, always listening without you needing to be rough or assertive, thus there was no need to be mean. Maybe that’s why they took the liberty of touching each other even when you explicitly told them not to, maybe thinking that you wouldn’t be mad and let it go like every other time. But as soon as you entered your shared bedroom, they felt the mood shift and that you wouldn’t be as kind tonight. Maybe it was because of the stress of work, or maybe you just wanted to put them in their places for once. 

“- Care to explain what both of you are doing ?”

Jisung lifted his head from Minho’s neck where he left a tone of little purple marks, his hand stopping his motion on the other boy’s cock who couldn’t help the little whine that escaped him at the loss of friction. 

“- We… We were too turned on… Sorry, sorry, but we missed you too much.”

You walked fully into the room, your heels clicking on the floor as you threw your suit jacket on the chair sitting before your dressing table, the guys fumbling until they were sat at the edge of the bed while you did so, their eyes scanning every one of your moves nervously. You couldn’t lie to yourself and say that the scene didn’t make you wet. Because it had, obviously. But you weren’t one to let it slide when they disobeyed you like that. 

You stopped in front of them, staring right into their souls, especially at Minho. You knew him. You knew that he was the one who had led Jisung into this. He surely had argued that you wouldn’t be this mad, that you would even be happy to have them ready for you when you’d come back home. But as you tugged his hair back, forcing him to look directly in your eyes, he felt so little, as if your aura was crushing him. It was threatening, but also hot. So hot. You were still wearing your working clothes : black high heels, black suit pants and an elegant white blouse, which was a little see-through, and they both could see your laced bra underneath. Yeah, maybe Minho had a thing for you looking like the attractive businesswoman you were.

“- That’s not a fucking excuse. I only asked you one thing. Do you remember ?”

Minho knew better than to answer without being allowed to and so did Jisung that was squirming in place, dying to have your hands on him too. You smiled down at him in a sickeningly sweet manner that didn’t presage anything good for him. 

“- Good boy, you at least learned one thing. Now you can talk.” 

You had grabbed his jaw in the meantime, making it difficult for him to talk but he did it anyway. He understood very well that if he wanted to cum tonight, he must follow every one of your orders very closely. 

“- You told us not to touch ourselves while you were away.

- That’s right baby, and why did I say that ?

- Because you only left for three days and that you’ll be back soon.

- Looks like you remember after all.”

You squeezed his jaw harder before releasing him, turning away from him to shift your attention on Jisung instead. Even if you suspected that Minho had gaslighted him into making out, he wasn’t innocent either, always testing your patience and being a brat. It was time to put them both in their places

“- So fucking explain me why I find you doing exactly what I told you not to do ? 

- I- We missed you so much, we just want-”

Jisung’s next words died into his throat, replaced by a moan when you slapped him, his head turning to the side with the violence of the impact. But you knew better than to stop at his hiss of pain - you knew he liked it, loved it even, knew that it made his dick twitch without even needing to check.

“- Don’t talk until I fucking tell you that you can, you don’t want to anger me even more, do you ?”

This time, Jisung didn’t dare let out a word, simply shaking his head from left to right, big doe eyes zeroing on your lips as you stroked the red mark you left on his cheek. 

“- Good.”

You stepped back a little, taking in the lustful view of your two boyfriends, seated on your shared bed, entirely naked when you were still fully clothed, their cocks rock hard when your panties were drenched, waiting for your next command. Why didn’t you try that out before ? It gave you such a rush of adrenaline to see how much power you held over them, ideas of everything you wanted to do to them clouding your mind. You could break them in so many ways, the possibilities were endless. But for now, you just wanted to see them suffer and pay the price of their actions.  

You pushed the chair you previously threw your jacket on until it was before the bed, sitting down and spreading your legs wide open. You could see Jisung drooling on your thighs, and Minho’s hands gripping the sheets to stop himself from touching his cock at the sight before his eyes. You smiled cockily at them as you unbuttoned your blouse painfully slowly, taking forever to reach the last one, exposing your chest to their hungry gazes. And as much as Jisung wished you didn’t wear a bra, he also had to admit that it fitted you perfectly, making you look like a goddess. 

“- Go on.”

Both of them stared at you, confusion written all over their faces. You rolled your eyes, annoyed that they didn’t get what you implied. 

“- Gosh, I really have to do all the work, dumb boys can’t even understand what I’m saying.”

Your degrading words went directly to Jisung cock, a moan threatening to escape him. He was almost ready to nob at your words, willing to agree to whatever you said as long as it meant pleasing you. He never saw you so bossy, but he already liked it. He wanted more and more of your mean words. 

“- Continue to touch yourselves like the stupid little sluts you are.”

Minho threw an hesitant glance at the other boy, but in a matter of seconds, they were all over each other again, lips and tongue mingling in a heated and messy kiss, hands roaming over their body and groping everywhere they could reach. They were so desperate for more it was almost cute. Almost because the way Jisung was humping Minho’s leg as he straddled his lap was everything but cute. He looked like a dog fucking his favourite toy, tongue lolling out of his mouth as his hyung kissed down his neck, groping his ass to guide his moves against his thick thigh. 

“- F-Fuck Min ! I need more…”

You bit your lips, resisting the urge to come up to them and wrap your hands around both of their pretty cocks, but seeing them whining so pathetically against each other's mouths was maybe even more satisfying. 

“- Be more specific Ji. What do you want Min to do ?”

Your voice breaking the silence made them halt their grinding for a bit, but they quickly went back to it, both of them hissing at the feeling of skin to skin contact.

“- I- I want his hand wrapped around my cock… Please…”

Minho’s eyes dived into yours over Jisung's shoulder, and he swore he had never seen such determination in your gaze before. He shivered as you cocked your head to the side, your mischievous smile having him wanting more. 

“- Do you think you deserved it though ? You think you deserved to have your dick touched after not listening to me ?”

Jisung turned his head toward you, tears almost spilling out of his eyes from how badly he needed to be touched. Your smirk widened as you unzipped your pants, slipping your hands between your thighs and brushing against your clit still covered by your panties. You let out the filthiest moan, just to tease them a little more.

“- No… I don’t think you’ve been good enough to earn it.

- Does this mean I have ?”

The pretentious smile on Minho’s face was soon whipped off as your gaze darkened. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Maybe he shouldn't have provoked you. 

“- Does testing my patience get you going Lee Minho ? Answer.”

He gulped loudly, not even trying to hide how much your rough tone was turning him on.

“- N-No… Just want you to touch me.

- Then stop being a fucking brat for once.”

Minho only nodded his head, not daring to speak up again and risking to not feel your hands on him tonight, not when you looked so gorgeous, with your legs spread, rubbing at your wet clit while licking your lips. 

“- You’re going to listen to me, and do exactly what I tell you if you even want to see my hands coming near your cocks. Understood ?”

Both of them silently responded, not wanting to further anger you. 

“- Great. Ji, get off of him and sit down. Min, down on your knees.”

They shuffled quickly, moving into the exact position you wanted them to be, Minho staring at Jisung’s hard cock while the second was focusing on you, panting heavily and waiting for your next order. But it seemed like the older one couldn’t resist the urge to lick along the younger length, taking pride in the loud whine he let out. 

“- Close your mouth, slut.”

Minho did as you told immediately, fighting with his self-control to not touch either Jisung or himself. But he wanted to, badly. He needed it. 

“- Touch him, but no sucking or you’re not cumming.”

A small “yes'' left his mouth before he wrapped his hand around Jisung’s cock, watching him as he threw his head back and grabbed the older’s hair, another moan slipping past his lips. As Minho got to admire his boyfriend sinking down into pleasure, the latest got to contemplate the heavenly sight of your panties pushed to the side, fingers slowly working your wet cunt open. 

“- Finally listening to me. Doesn’t it feel so much better than disobeying ?”

Both of them moaned in response once again, and your smile widened at the sound, your fingers reaching deeper inside of you and making you release a noise too. Seeing them giving in to you was the quickest way to get you relaxed after this stressful work trip. 

“- Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’ve been good Min, you can touch yourself now.”

He didn’t let your words go to waste, immediately wrapping his other hand around his aching cock, whimpering at the feeling, pleasure and relief rushing through his veins.

“- S-Shit ! Feels so good… 

- Is that so ? 

- Y-Yes ! Would feel better if it was yours though…”

You let out a huff, and Minho could feel your disappointed gaze on him, but what he was even more focused on was how he couldn’t help but moan at seeing one more drop of Jisung’s precum hit the floor - such a waste they were not dripping down his throat. Jisung who didn’t care about your conversation by the way, as long as he got someone touching his cock. 

“- I’m being kind and you still find a way to complain ? Do you really want me to punish you ? 

- No, no, no, no ! I promise I can be good !

- Then come over here and show me. Prove me that you’re a good puppy.”

Minho never felt so turned on in his entire life, so he didn’t think twice before abandoning a whiny Jisung behind him as he crawled to you, sitting back on his heels between your legs, looking expectantly at you, silently asking you for permission to finally touch you. 

“- Go on.

- Thank you… thank you…”

You smiled down at him as he slowly took off your heels one after another, then slid down your pants to get a better view of your soaked white laced panties that he got rid off just as quickly. Maybe that having mens at your feet was your biggest kink after all because you’ve never been this wet before. Minho squeezed your thighs before he placed a kiss on your left ankle, slowly leaving a wet trail behind him as he got higher on your legs, sometimes sucking a little harshly on your skin. When he got to your inner thigh, he left a noticeable purple mark, his moans answering yours as you tugged on his hair. He was ready to do the same with your other leg but you yanked him roughly by his hair, inching his face closer to your pussy, his nose almost brushing against your clit. Minho was surrounded by the intoxicating scent of your arousal, his mouth watering at the memory of your taste. 

“- Haven’t I made it clear ? Eat me out.”

Minho immediately licked a strip of your wet folds, whining as your delicious essence filled up his senses. His nails were digging into your thighs, but you didn’t mind the slight pain, just as he didn't mind how roughly you were pulling his hair - in fact, you both loved it. You threw your head back when Minho sucked on your clit then pushed his tongue into you slightly, all the noises he made created a delicious vibration against your core that had you release one or two whimpers. But your focus shifted to Jisung when you heard him whine as he squirmed in place, desperate to get touched too. You smiled widely, seeing how tightly he fisted the sheets to keep his hands for himself, thrusting up in the air.

“- Have you been a good boy too Ji ?”

He lifted his head quickly, his teary eyes diving into yours as he nodded his head fervently.

“- Yes ! Yes ! I’ve been so good mommy ! Didn’t touch myself, I promise !

- Good job baby. Time for mommy to reward you hm ?”

Jisung closed his eyes, thinking that he could cum just from your deep, raspy voice praising him. He certainly would have, if you didn’t offer him something even more appealing. 

“- Oh my god, yes please ! I need you so bad, please… 

- Then come here.”

Just like his hyung before, he didn’t waste a second and almost ran to where you were seated, with Minho still eating you out as if he was a man starved, trying to ignore how painfully hard is dick was. You beckoned Jisung to come closer, until he was standing beside you and you could wrap your hand around his pretty cock. The loud moan that escaped him as you did so only made you smile again, loving to see tears spilling out of his eyes and rolling down his puffy cheeks. Having men crying from only your touch was maybe your second biggest kink. 

“- Aah ! Thank you ! Thank you mommy, f-feels so good…”

And having men calling you mommy was the third, without any doubt. However, your smirk was wiped out of your face when Minho buried one of his fingers inside your cunt, a moan leaving you instead. You knew him by heart ; he was jealous of the attention you were giving to Jisung and not him. You scratched his scalp lightly, another muffled sound coming out from him. He couldn’t put up an attitude with you, becoming putty in your hands every time they landed on him in any way.

“- Yeah ? Feels good Ji ?”

The boy only answered you with a high-pitched moan, one of his hands gripping your breast, just needing something to ground himself in reality. Because you were making him crazy, he was losing his mind over you and how good your touch felt. No coherent thoughts were crossing his brain anymore, the only one invading all his senses being you. 

“- So fucked out and you didn’t even put your dick in me…”

You knew Jisung could and would fuck you good, so good when you’ll let him. But for now, having him leaking precum from only your hand and the view of Minho devouring your cunt was enough to bring him close to the edge. It was also very tempting to put him in your mouth, but the man between your thighs was going feral, bringing you close to the edge. He added a second finger, stretching you out just like you loved, licking all the juices that were leaking out of your cunt. He needed more, more and more of your arousal. But he also needed you to touch him, whatever it was, he needed it. Minho lifted his head, his glossy eyes diving in your lust filled ones, his chin and lips covered in your essence.

“- Can you touch me, please ? I’ve been good for you…”

His hands were squeezing your thighs hard while your own, which wasn’t busy jerking Jisung off, came down to stroke his cheek. Minho sighed in relief to the feeling, leaning even more in your touch.

“- Mmh… It’s true, you’ve been such a good boy for me, eating me out and not complaining, and you’re even begging me… But aren’t you forgetting something baby ?”

His face was already flushed and hot, but at the thought of the words only, he felt his cheeks grow warmer. Jisung never felt any shame in calling you that, but it still got Minho all shy, and it was the very reason why you asked him to do it. Because you loved to see him like that : on his knees for you, totally giving in to you.

“- Please mommy… Touch me…”

The smile stretching your lips was worth it, and even more when he felt your foot caressing his thigh, reaching higher and higher until you pressed lightly against his cock. And the sinful moan Minho let out ravished your ears. Without you needing to ask this time, he dived back into your cunt, and it was your turn to moan loudly, your foot moving deliciously against Minho’s length and your hand still squeezing Jisung’s cock. The three of you were working in sync, your whimpers and whines mixing to create a filthy symphony. 

Jisung was the first to cum, letting out a broken cry of your name as he did so, the sticky substance landing on your cheek and lips. You continued to squeeze his cock, milking him dry and slightly overstimulating him as he was still very sensitive. And seeing him in such a state of desperation paired with Minho’s skilled tongue and fingers pushed you over the edge too. You unconsciously pressed your foot harder against his cock, making him whimper louder, and you felt it twitch before his release was covering your skin just a moment after. 

All of you needed several minutes to come down from your highs, the only sound being your heavy breathings. When you regained enough consciousness to open your eyes again, it was to be struck by the vision of your two boyfriend’s fucked out faces, still in their own little worlds. A mischievous smile blossomed on your face, because you were certainly not finished torturing them now that you discovered how pliant they could be. So you nudged Minho’s face that was still resting against your thigh, getting him to lift his head and look at you with the softest eyes and you almost felt guilty for what you were going to do - almost being the key word.

“- You made a mess baby, didn’t you ?”

Simply looking down at your feet covered in his cum made him hard again. Minho only answered your question with a shaky “yes”. 

“- Then you’re gonna clean it up. Lick it off.”

Without uttering a word, Minho grabbed your ankle to bring your feet to his mouth and he didn’t hesitate to eat his own cum, under Jisung’s intense gaze, who seemed completely out of it. However, all you needed to get his attention back was to point at your cheek that was also covered in cum. In the blink of an eye, he was greedily licking it off of you, and you couldn’t have felt better than with your two men all over you - and it was only the start.

As you layed in bed between Minho and Jisung, you finally felt at peace for the first time since the beginning of this stressful week. You pecked Minho’s forehead and Jisung’s nose before snuggling even closer to them, if that was even possible. 

“- I’m sorry for being so rude, I hope it wasn’t too much.”

Jisung chuckled, his fingers coming down to trace random patterns on the exposed skin of your shoulders. 

“- Don’t worry baby, we would have let you know if it was.”

Minho nobbed at the other boy's words, not lifting his head from where it was nuzzled in your neck. 

“- It was really good actually.”

The warmth radiating from his face was enough of a hint for you to know that he was blushing again, making you smile softly as you closed your eyes, ready to drift to sleep.

“- I missed you even if you’re two little brats.”

And something was telling you that now that they had a taste of your dominant side, they would test your limits even more.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@puppy-minnie @binwons @yoongles2025 @thicccurls

[fbfh]

omg u wrote for simp eddie again <333 my life is complete

SO IS EDDIE'S FROM THE MOMENT HE LAID EYES ON YOU. I can't decide which is better, your first time with Eddie after years and years and YEARS of pining and build up or the way he fucks you after you elope (it's somehow better than it was before which you did not realize was an option to want or even possible to achieve). I simply cannot resist the temptation of starting to touch on your first time just a little. I've been putting it off cause I wanna do it right but fuck that I will not stop yapping about Eddie and yall love to hear it so this is not something I plan on only discussing once.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, when this ball of sexual tension and longing finally gets rolling, it fucking ROLLS. Eddie had a hunch that might be the case because he's a manifestation king and is never wrong about anything ever. You however, you had no idea what was coming or how hard and fast and intensely it would hit, not until the Eddie dream. The one where he was holding you and kissing you and being so tender and loving and gentle with you, so emotionally intimate with you that you woke up to heart palpitations and sticky soaked through panties. That alone was enough to send you spiraling, but the very last part of the dream was the worst. You had grabbed Eddie's hand, and you put it between your legs, and you woke up right before you could feel it. And NOTHING got rid of the ache all day. You tried everything you could think of, but you couldn't get your mind off of him, you couldn't make any space in your brain for anything other than Eddie Eddie Eddie. It started off small, touching yourself in the school bathroom and desperately trying to convince yourself that you probably just need to fuck him. You're sure that's it, just a one night stand, and the throbbing pulsating ache between your legs will be gone and you can move on with your life. You lied to yourself for most of the day, and were almost able to believe it. Until lunch. Eddie was feeling particularly feisty that day, and no longer able to restrain himself from the glaring injustice of how the athletes are treated like gods while everyone else gets cast off to the side by the teachers and faculty and society at large, he jumped up onto his usual table for another long speech. Or as long as he can make it before catching another detention. He's facing away from you at first, and good god you cannot keep your eyes off him. He's backlit, and the hazy late autumn light makes his legs look so... good. Have they always looked that good? Has he always had the kind of thighs you'd want squeezing tighter and tighter around your head while you suck him off? And his hands... GOD his hands. They're even better than you remember, so big and veiny and just... masculine. Your thighs squeeze together seemingly on their own as you watch the way his chunky rings glint when his hands move. You can almost feel the way they'd bite into the skin on your thighs, send cool shivers down your spine as the slowly warm up to your skin, shoot little jolts of pleasure when they graze your most intimate spots. You notice his belt buckle last, which is so much worse for your pounding heart and throbbing cunt. Handcuffs. Of course he would have handcuffs... you freeze in place, eyes going wide and throat going dry as a thought crosses your mind.

Could... could there be another meaning behind his nickname? Your mind wanders to dangerous places as you start to fantasize about why they really call him the freak.

[obsessedelusional]

In Your Dreams

parings ✦ Eddie x Reader

summary ✦ Eddie was your childhood best friend. What happens when he was a dirty dream about you? Will it tear you apart or bring you two closer? contains smut

authors note ✦ I keep saying this but I appreciate all the love, my latest one shot has almost 1k notes like wtf???? I’m nearly at 100 followers it’s fucking crazy omg a week ago I posted something to test the waters and now I’m addicted to writing for y’all. Someone sent me a request like what? that’s so cool. hope you enjoy this let me know!! Cuz I’m just getting started I have so many ideas. feedback and reblogs appreciated <3

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

“What the hell was that?” Eddie groans looking down at his morning hard on. The details of the dream he had replaying in his mind, over and over again. He just had a sex dream about his best friend.

Eddie still remember the day you moved to Hawkins. You were so young, moving into a trailer a few spots down from him. Eddie was only nine years old and was ecstatic when he found out there was a kid moving just down the street. He was surprised when he found out you were actually a little girl but that never changed anything. Didn’t take very long for you two to become best friends.

Never once had he thought about you in any way but platonic. Sure he knew you were beautiful. He also definitely noticed when your breast started to grow in junior high but tried his best not to stare. Even when Jeff and Gareth were gawking at you, whispering behind your back. Eddie always telling them to shut the fuck up.

So when Eddie woke up from a dream he remembered so vividly, the dream where he was balls deep in someones pussy. Only to look up and it was you, smiling down at Eddie. The worst part is he enjoyed it even more when he realized it was you. The sound of his alarm had woke him up from the wet dream.

He thought for a moment about rubbing it out but deciding that’d be too weird. Stroking his cock while thinking of his best friend. Instead letting himself suffer, giving him self blue balls.

Eddie’s been giving you rides to school ever since he saved up enough money to purchase the van. Something you’ve done hundreds of times. This morning it felt different, Eddie wasn’t nearly as friendly as he normally was.

“Hey Teddy.” You smile, climbing into the passenger seat. Calling him the nickname he pretended to hate but you knew he secretly loved it.

“Hey,” he says flatly, not daring to look your direction.

“Everything okay?” You ask, concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He finally looks your way and gives you a not so reassuring smile. Only for you to notice he’s shoots a glance to your chest. He notices you noticing and scrambles to start the car. What the fuck was that?

The drive was filled with silence, not a word said between you two. The tension thick enough you could cut it with a knife. Pulling up to school Eddie gets out without saying a word, leaving you in the car alone.

Your mind starts to race, trying to remember what you could of possibly done to make him so short with you. Also what was that about, he was definitely checking your tits out. You look down at your cleavage, it’s not anything more then it usually was. Eddie’s seen you in less and never let his eyes wonder.

—

The first half of the school day was absolutely miserable for Eddie. Normally couldn’t focus in class but today it was ten times worse. The mental image of your chest bouncing in his face as you rode his cock, heavy on his mind. Walking from class to class, book covering his boner.

He felt terrible for being so short with you but when he did look your way he was most definitely checking you out. Which you noticed so he freaked out and drove off, not saying a single word to you. Even leaving you alone in his van. He cursed himself for being so rude knowing he’d have to see you at lunch, the meeting tonight and when he gives you a ride home. Thinking to himself, ‘I could give her something else to ride’ before pushing the thoughts away as quick as they came.

—

When lunch finally rolls around, your a little late but you make your way to the lunch table. You’ve sat here hundreds of times, only this time Eddie was no where to be seen. Your sat next to Jeff, quiet which was strange for you.

“Everything ok?” Jeff asks, noticing the change in your behavior and the absence of Eddie.

“I dunno, Eddie was really weird this morning.”

“How so?”

“So short with me. Haven’t seen him since, I feel like he’s avoiding me. I saw he yesterday and everything was okay. Suddenly this morning he can’t stand to be near me.”

You sigh frustrated, “Do you know what his deal is?”

“Never know with that dude.” He laughs, obviously not taking this as seriously as you.

“Where even is he? We always have lunch together at this table.”

“I have no idea.”

“He’ll have no choice but to face me at tonight’s meeting.” You groan annoyed, standing up deciding to head to class early. No reason to sit here and let your mind race with the worst possible outcomes.

-

“Yo Eddie what’s your deal?” Jeff asks walking into the drama room. Eddie is busy setting up for DND.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been totally M.I.A today dude. Stressing y/n out.” Jeff says, plopping down in his regular seat.

“Nothing. It’s stupid. I’ll get over it.” He mumbles to him self as the rest of the guys start to pile in.

“She totally likes you, don’t give her the cold shoulder dude.” Eddie looks at Jeff more confused then ever.

“Wait what? There’s no way.”

“Dude be so fucking for real right now. I know your a little slow but it’s so apparent.” Jeff laughs.

“What? Y’all talking about Y/Ns undying love for Eddie?” Dustin chimes in, laughing with Jeff.

“You guys don’t know what your talking about.” Eddie says matter of factly.

“What are you guys talking about?” You ask startling Eddie. None of them had noticed your arrival.

“Nothing.” Eddie spits out. Against your better judgement you take a seat next to him. You sat next to him every time, so what makes today any different. That’s until you realize all eyes are on you.

“Just tell me.” You whine, curious what you interrupted. Wondering if it has to do with why Eddie’s acting so weird today.

“Just talking about how you have a giant crush on Munson.” Gareth laughs, everyone shoots him a ‘why the fuck did you say that’ type of look.

“In your dreams.” You tease, laughing because they’re right and now your embarrassed. Your attention goes to Eddie trying to gauge his reaction but his eyes go wide. Can’t even look your way. He stands up and runs out of the room, leaving you behind with the guys staring at you.

“Gareth why would say that?” You say before leaving the room to follow Eddie. Knowing that things will probably never be the same.

“Eddie wait!” You yell as your catching up to his van, where’s he’s sat inside. Just as your about to let yourself in he locks the doors from the inside.

“What the fuck Eddie? Why are you avoiding me?” He turns the key in the ignition like he’s going to leave.

“I swear to god Eddie if you leave me I will show up at your house, break your fucking door down. You will have to talk to me sooner or later.” He sighs giving up and shutting the car off before unlocking the door so you can get in. You sit in silence for a few moments unsure of what to say.

“Is this about what Gareth said?” You speak up. Eddie’s looking out the window, his body language is stiff.

“Did I do something? Whatever I did I’m sorry I hate whatever this is. This has been the worst day ever.” Eddie’s heart aches knowing that your so torn up because he’s too scared to look at you after the dirty dream he had. Awakening feelings he didn’t know he had. Wondering if they’ve always been there just too afraid to act on them because he never wants to lose you.

“No you didn’t do anything.” He finally speaks up.

“Then what is it?” Silence fills the air again.

“You know you can tell me anything, Eddie.”

“I’m terrified.” He says his voice low and shaky.

“Of what Eddie?”

“That if I say what I’m thinking I’m going to say. You’re gonna run away. I can’t lose you.”

“You’re never gonna lose me. Just spit it out.” Eddie’s hands cover her face before he lets out a large sigh.

“I had a dream about you.”

“What were we doing?” You ask, curiously.

“We were uhhh,” his voice trails off. Now you need to know what this dream consisted of. You have an idea.

“Say it.”

“We were fucking.” He finally says hands still shielding his face.

“How did that make you feel?” You ask, scooting closer.

“I liked it. Probably liked it too much. Then when Gareth opened his fat fucking mouth you said in your dreams, I lost it like fuck she has to know. How the fuck did you know?” He whines, removing his hands so he can finally face you.

“I didn’t.” You laugh.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I can’t stop reliving the dream in my mind, walking around with a boner all fucking day.” You look to his crotch and there is a tent in his jeans. It turns you on thinking you’ve caused Eddie all this torture today.

“I bet the real life thing is ten times better.”

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Maybe we can make your dream a reality. Just an idea.” You shrug your shoulders, trying so hard to read Eddie’s response.

“Are you being serious?” He questions.

“What exactly were we doing?” Eddie’s dick twitches thinking about his dream for the millionth time today. Excited because it might become true.

“You were on top.”

“On top of what?” You ask innocently, wanting to hear all the details.

“Me. You we’re riding me, your tits bouncing in my face.” His voice is shaky and you’re enjoying it.

“Is that why I caught you staring at my cleavage today?” Eddie nods yes like he’s to ashamed to admit out loud.

“It’s okay, you can look. You can even touch if you want.” Eddie looks but it’s not nearly enough for you.

“Can I kiss you?” He nods yes again and you waste no time, kissing his lips. Eddie’s hesitant but that quickly fades when you guide his hand under your shirt, he cups your breast. You take the opportunity to explore the tent in his jeans, palming his dick through his jeans. He lets out a small moan so you pull away from the kiss.

“Did you like that?” You ask hand still on his groin.

“Yeah.”

“I can make you feel so good. You want that?” You ask, still palming his cock through his jeans. Eddie moans yes, so you lead him to the back of his van.

“Here?” He asks, getting comfortable.

“Yeah we’ll just have to keep it down.” You grin sitting between his legs pulling the waist of jeans down along with his underwear. Revealing his large throbbing dick, pre cum sitting on his tip.

“Where the fuck have you been hiding this?” You start pumping his cock, watching the pleasure flood his face. Small whimpers leaving his mouth.

“So good,” he whines.

“I bet. Walking around all day long hard because of me? No way to release it.” He nods as your lips meet with the tip of his penis before swallowing as much as you can. Your tongue moving as you go up and down. You hand playing with his balls. You look up and through your lashes you can see Eddie unfolding in front of you. His moans fill the van, not being quiet at all. Eddie starts pushing down on the back of your head, forcing you to gag on his dick. Tears start to fill your eyes. You can feel the pool growing in your panties.

You push against his hands to catch your breath, spitting all saliva that’s built up onto his dick. Going back down on him, this time pushing your own limits. Making your self gag on his giant cock.

“If you don’t stop I’m gonna cum,” Eddie speaks panting. You stop what you’re doing and start taking your shorts and panties off, aligning your entrance with his cock.

“You weren’t wearing a shirt,”

“What?” You ask confused.

“In my dream.” You laugh before ripping it off throwing it to the side. Eddie’s eyes gawk at your exposed tits, even bigger and better than he had imagined. You grab his hand, leading it so he can feel how wet your cunt is.

“See how wet you make me.” You moan as he explores your pussy, fingers sliding through your lips before making slow circles on your clit.

“It’s about you today. Making your dreams come true, Teddy.” He helps you line up his dick with your hole. You slowly drop onto it, enveloping his whole cock with your warm wet pussy.

“Fuck.” Both of you are moaning. You move your hips back and forward, Eddie’s hands find you hips, guiding you. His dick fills you up perfectly. You’ve never felt so full. It’s like his dick was made for your pussy.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Eddie whines.

“Everything you’ve ever dreamt of?”

“Yes,” he moans, you drop to his level still riding him so you can kiss him intensely. You’re sweating, it’s hot as fuck in this van. The windows fogging up. The thought of possibly being caught turning you both on more. You pull away so you can pick up your pace. Eddie’s hands find their way to your boobs, squeezing tightly.

“I’m so close,” he says.

“Cum inside me.” You purr sending Eddie over the edge. His warm cum shoots inside you, you ride out his high slowing down.

You lay down next to him, breathing heavily. You two take a moment to catch your breaths. Trying to wrap your mind around what just happened and what would happen after this. You two could never go back to just being friends.

“I feel terrible.” You whip your head towards him.

“I just sucked your dick and then rode it till you came inside me and you feel terrible?” Anger threatening to come out in your voice.

“It was amazing. I just so caught up in it I didn’t make you finish.”

“I said today was about you. Making your dream come true. It can be all about me next time.” You laugh.

“Next time?” He asks.

“If you want that.”

“I definitely want that.”

“Good.” You smile kissing him one more time.

—

“What happened? Where did you guys go?” Jeff asks as you two sheepishly rejoin them in the drama room.

“We talked it out,” Eddie says sitting down. More like fucked it out but whatever.

“Just made his dream come true.” You laugh, Eddie shoots you a look.

“What?” Jeff asks.

“Ignore her.” Eddie demands and everyone goes back to playing DND. Eddie and you spend the whole game eye fucking each other. Counting down the minutes till you’d have him alone again, him doing the same.

[shelleysmary]

OMg your post about the TROP haters. A lot of people don't seem to remember that several actors SUED New Line because they used the actors' likeness to make merch without compensating them. It's so weird to be acting as if any of these companies were ever ethical to begin with. People are also way too forgiving of PJ&Co for the joke of the Hobbit movies. It's not all WB's fault that those films were trash and to forgive PJ of some of his creative choices (like those CGI wargs that he actually approved of) is ridiculous.

listen..... i feel like i'm removed enough from the pj trilogies at this point to forgive all their foibles. they've been around long enough for me to accept them, and i find even the twilight-looking cgi wargs rather charming at this point. but that's the thing!!! the mere-exposure effect means that familiarity often leads to liking a thing better. the problem arises when certain fans forget that this is how the whole thing started. i genuinely believe that if trop can stick the landing and deliver four good—and i do mean good, not life-changing, i'm talking borderline decent (remember the hobbit)—seasons that improve on the first, in 8-10 years people will change their tune and remember it fondly, much like how we've all decided the hobbit is pretty okay, actually. it's not perfect, but we've accepted it into our headcanons and it has details we fully embrace and have integrated into our little store of tolkien jewels. that's why i contend that tolkien fans will always move on and take umbrage with the new thing. in part, i think it's the nature of the thing: tolkien himself left gaps and made so many changes throughout the years and from one draft to the next, and fans have projected their preferences onto them. that is the beauty of middle-earth!! for all that pj was accused of trying to make the hobbit his cash cow, j.d. and patrick are now getting accused of the same. no doubt there'll be fans who hate the hunt for gollum for that very same reason, but that doesn't change the fact that if any fictional world is made for this kind of expansive worldbuilding, it's tolkien's!

i understand that we're all passionate about middle-earth and we want things done "properly," but guys... your sauron is showing. sometimes we have to sit down and realize that "the way i imagined it" isn't always going to be what we see onscreen. the books will always be there! fanworks that align with our personal idea of what we wanted to see will always be there! that doesn't mean we can't be critical and expect quality from the shows and films we watch, but oftentimes with trop "this is a narrative flaw" and "this goes against my preference" get so confused. and people get triggered because they care about the world so much, but that doesn't excuse rudeness or cruelty or straight-up attacking those who disagree.

forgetting the journey we've all taken with the pj films is a mistake. so much unpleasantness within the tolkien fandom could be fixed with a little more patience, a little more wisdom, a little more grace. which. y'know. if you love these books... it's kind of a central theme. unless what you're really into is the cold hard mechanics of the worldbuilding and the power fantasy of the one ring.

this is just my personal opinion, but if the effect lotr has on you is to make you a worse person on the internet? touch grass. do a reread.

[anamericangirl]

I am fully on Israel and the Jews side during this war; but omg some of the hardcore Jewish leftists. I want to say I feel frustrated but I actually feel so bad for them. I saw a post where a christian girl was expression how stupid and evil she found Christians being antisemitic, and the post got full of people saying stuff like “but christianity is inherently antisemitic! It’s built into the very fabric ! It and you are always going to be antisemitic!” Like saying that on a post where someone is literally condemning hatred in their own community is ????? The whole “I have decided you are a bigot and can never stop being a bigot” talking point has always been one of my least favorites. And the posts I’ve seen where leftists Jews are expressing how terrible it is that Jews are now being seen as white, and they acknowledge that it’s being used to excuse any and all hatred towards them, and how they need to get people to realize they are a middle easter group. Which yes, you guys aren’t white, you are middle easterners; but shouldn’t this be making some of ya’ll question the whole notion on the left that white=bad and that’s it’s not okay to categorize different people in that way? It’s just sad to see so many of them going through the utter betrayal they have but are still clinging to the super left way of thinking and just seem totally lost. And I’m not even saying to go right; but to at least acknowledge that maybe the whole black and white “white straight Christian American=Bad Everyone Else=good” rhetoric was always going to go bad for anyone who peddled it? It happened to Asians too in recent years. And I’m absolutely not trying to say this is a Jewish thing, just a far leftist thing, because I can remember all the Jews (and Asians, and Latinos, etc,) who were really trying to sound the alarm that once they lost their place on the oppression hierarchy, a lot of these far leftists treat the minority groups they used to champion even worse than how they treat white people. I don’t know. I just feel sick to my stomach seeing all these people feel so heartbroken and betrayed by what they considered their close friends and community. I just wish this didn’t have to happen to them this way.

It really is sad watching it happen. It should be a lesson to them of the dangers of playing so hard into identity politics. It's an inherently bad way of approaching situations and they approach every situation that way. Wars are a little more complex than this skin color = good and that skin color = bad but they've let their brains get so damaged by that way of thinking over the years that they're really going to have to put in the work to change and I just don't see that happening.

It's such a shame.

[augustnotes]

Hi there! I just happened across your 7th house Lilith post asking people about their experiences with this placement! I’m writing you here because I see the replies are restricted. I love that you asked about this, because I could say so much about my experiences with having a 7th house Libra Lilith. First off, I just wanna note I found it very interesting you asked if people with this placement get people trying to put the “mean girl” narrative on them. I do find pretty often that people do not read my energy as warm and inviting (not sure if they see it as “mean” per se, but I think I can seem intimidating or unfriendly). I’ve attributed that to other things in my chart, but maybe Lilith is involved too!

Anyway, for me, my 7th house Lilith in Libra has been a double edged sword in my life that has protected me from getting involved with actually toxic people, while it’s also caused me to sabotage positive relations in the past. I associate Lilith, along with my 8th house Pluto squaring my Venus and Mars, for why I’ve feared dependence with someone, and have actually been hyper-independent, living alone now for all of my adulthood. But the South Node in Libra currently transiting my Lilith seems to be helping do away with my instincts to sabotage my relationship (I’m in a committed one now, for the first time in years) whenever my partner expresses a grievance. You see, I used to believe I could only ever bring bad things to another person’s life, so a simple expression of someone not being happy with one little thing in our relationship could activate my trauma response to sabotage the entire relationship.

So for me, Lilith in 7th house and Libra has had a definite connection to my hyper-independence, my beliefs I am starting to overcome that I could only be toxic for a partner, and also the fact that I have been able to walk out on problematic people without feeling conflicted about it!

Thanks for asking! I love this topic, and I find so much different info on Lilith, so I have found that watching how the transits interact with my Lilith has definitely been the best way to understand how she manifests for me personally! 🖤

hello!! omg this was so insightful, thank you so much for sharing!!

the impression of being intimidating and unfriendly does seem to make sense when you bring up your aspects. especially bringing up that pluto falling in the 8th house squaring that venus in mars. People I've met who has almost similar aspects, i would have to say you probably definitely give a rather cut-throat vibes in a competitive way especially in areas that youre passionate about. thanks to this, now i can see how the impression within that 7th house lilith is definitely strongly attributed to personal aspects.

hyper-independence is such a common theme I see in lilith in the 7th house, yet its also so contradictory to how the individual could be in a relationship which is absolutely dependent on their partner without realising. i guess personally for me, that's how I interpret your fear of only capable of being toxic to your partner. as an individual, you feel almost kind of invincible that you could do anything on your own and you are completely content with it. however, there's also that little desire in wanting a partnership but its knowing damn well of the insecurity and your worse traits coming out as a partner out of your control.

i also definitely agree with the blessing in disguise of being able to walk out on problematic relationship without hesitation. from a personal experience, i never found it hard to completely cut people out when i decide im done with them. it's to a point where i remove any traces of them in my life and as if they had never existed. this strong sense of self control and boundaries has definitely helped me in many ways than others.

i absolutely love how you brought up the way the transit affected you! im happy to hear you working through it!! i hope you always remember that your existence itself can be a blessing to someone else's life. it could be the reason someone anticipates for the sun to shine the next day. i wish you well and of the best in your current relationship!!

this was an amazing take!! thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! i think this has helped to see the effect being more concrete :)

[forbidding-souda]

can i request kokichi, byakuya togami, kazhuichi, and nagito with a s/o thats absurdly good at the knife game?

Kokichi Ouma, Byakuya Togami, Kazuichi Souda, and Nagito Komaeda with a S/O who's hella good at the knife game

omg i remember this ask from a many of months ago I'm glad you're still here babes anon

-Mod Souda

Kokichi Ouma

✯ There are no words exchanged between the two of you whenever he watches you play. It's not as if he fears distracting you, because he doesn't, but he is actually too concentrated on observing. It's such an interesting little game and the fact that you're so good at it is one of the most impressive things about you. You go fast, faster than he thinks he would be able to go, and it makes his eyes dart around while he follows.

You pull the knife out of the restaurant's napkin without a word and begin to play. He sits watching you go, then turning his entire body to face you, a bit amused that you decided to play this in a public space. It is a pleasant place, one that he likes to tarnish with his friends. The two of you sit with them now. "The game," one of them says. "Nice." You shrug, continuing to play, not taking your eyes off your hand. Ouma sighs with admiration, focusing all of his attention on you, the hypnotic movement of the knife capturing him completely.

✯ He'll make you do it in front of people as a flex.

✯ He does try it, but he is as good as average, and he will find any excuse to not do it with an actual knife.

✯ It almost never goes sour, which impresses him even more.

✯ When you do mess up, you try to conceal it, which he notices ofc, and he thinks your pride is rather cute.

.

Byakuya Togami

✯ He with confiscate things with a sullen silence. He gets annoyed, often frustrated by the way you continue to bypass his levels of comfortability (towards things like your safety). He doesn't care how good you are at it, he will continue to snatch your wrist and force you to drop whatever object you're playing with. Sometimes you laugh at him, which makes it worse, and you often fail to foresee his worsened mood.

"This won't do," he meant to say this under his breath but it was loud enough to make you slow the stabbing of the table in between your fingers. He continues once he realizes you heard: "you're going to mark the wood." You turn sharply. He stands tall, crossing his arms. You shrug, "you can buy another one," before continuing with your game.

✯ He had started by asking the servants to maintain control over the usage of knifes by anyone, then trying to figure out what other things you'd use in place of them by trial and error.

✯ He could not help feeling that he had become some sort of parent to you.

✯ It's all about the concept of you actually hurting yourself, it is going to make him at best annoyed and at worse worried, even if he's the one that's going to take the responsibility to bandage it.

.

Kazuichi Souda

✯ Sometimes you'll just disappear into the kitchen and he just knows it's to get a knife. He knows it's best not to investigate. Whenever he catches you playing the game he can literally feel his heart sinking, it freaks him out like all hell. And, unfortunately, you like playing the game very much, so you give him the mercy of trying not to play it in front of him. He can still always hear the thump thump thump thump thump of it.

He takes his travel bag and pokes around his bathroom ━ electric razor, toothbrush, nail file, contact solution ━ those all were his to pack. The knife on the counter was not. He stares at it for awhile, not touching it at all. His eyes become level with the counter. It's clean, and the end is a bit bent from how hard you tend to play the game. "Plastic," he whispers. "Thank god."

✯ Sometimes when you play it you'll look up and stare him in the eyes and it makes him panic so bad (it's so funny).

✯ Sonia and Gundham are heavily interested in it though, and that's what makes him tolerate it, even if it's for a second.

✯ His friends are way more impressed than he is. Much more.

✯ The sounds of you playing the game from downstairs is more terrifying than if he were to wake up to the sound of strange footsteps.

.

Nagito Komaeda

✯ Oh that game completely entrances him. He sees you playing it and is immediately curious, and once you explain it, the concept is addicting and he feels the need to play it, almost because he wants to see if he's on a good luck streak or a bad luck streak. You should let him uhhhh not play it, because unlike him, you don't want to find out.

"Wow, you have amazing luck..." His eyes gleam a bit as he watches you play. The knife goes in between your fingers at an intense speed, but you slow down when it comes to talking at the same time. Sometimes the end would cling to the slits in the wooden table and it gives you a second to pull it out.

"I have skill, not luck. I'm just good at this." And with that you remove your hand, but slam the knife into the space where your palm was, scaring him in the process. "Practice makes perfect."

✯ He loves hearing the sounds of you playing it, just knowing that you're playing it makes him excited. A part of him wants to know what happens if you lose.

✯ There is also a worry that his bad luck will try and target you and make you lose, that won't be very exciting.

✯ It worried him at first but when he came to terms that it's literally a skill of yours then he realized you're not in danger.

✯ ^ He's protective of the people he likes.

[tomaytow]

omg im having brainrot about venti and how do u think he would cuddle windblume? would he be big spoon or small spoon? lmk ur thoughts!

i am so sorry it took me a while to respond bUT OOO

i hope you’re still having a venti brainrot because i’m still having a brainrot abt him (24/7,, check my dms with tala aka tumblr user blooming-cecilia LOL i flood her with venti stuff a lot)

anyway.

cuddling venti hcs, you want? i’ll give it to you. let me just ransack my mind for a bit;

- imagine just laying supine on the bed and venti just. crawls on top of you and buries his head on your chest. venti likes listening to your heartbeat and he also likes it when you stroke or pat his head. go on. run your fingers through his hair. he’ll probably sigh, pleased, and if you stop – he’ll definitely tell you to do it again (do it again! why should you not?) if you’re feeling playful and decide to stop, there are chances he’ll put your hand back to where it belongs.

- imagine sleeping so deeply that nothing ever wakes you. a venti comes to join you for bed, and when he sees you hugging a pillow, he won’t hesitate to replace said pillow with himself. venti will either nuzzle his face on the crook of your neck, or he’ll let your head rest on his chest. hm. he likes smelling your shampoo, by the way, because it makes him feel so much at home.

- ((akshsjbsjsjsjb the idea of venti just content with windblume… it’s so nice…))

- in the idol au, i discussed a similar concept where you try to make venti jealous by cuddling a plushie instead of him. it didn’t end well cuz venti couldn’t take it (archons, he’s just so silly-) and threw it across the room, before glomping you. why is the plushie getting more love than him??? he’s your boyfriend!!

- during the morning, it’s hard to get up because of venti’s hold around your waist. you’ll have to wake him up so he can let go of you. (but bear in mind, though: that venti’s very clingy—an understatement, tbh—and he loves you very much. i think waking him up just made it worse because he’ll hold you tighter. he refuses to let go.) there is no e s c a p e.

- cuddle him and he’ll cuddle you back. it has more passion and vigor it’s overwhelming. he’ll giggle a lot. cuddling is his favorite past times with you.

- you expect me to not think abt needy venti???? wrong. needy venti is for the soul. imagine him just sitting on the couch and has his arms raised. hands closing and opening in a grabby motion. he pouts at you, “windblume. cuddle.”

- he wants your attention, your affections, so it’s not so surprising when you’re on the phone with someone and you feel arms squeezing your waist… and kisses on your cheeks…

- don’t get me started on possessive venti during cuddle sessions cuz even though you both look cute & wholesome on the outside, who’s not to say that venti’s mind is only filled with mine, and only mine… mine always

- the anemo archon “i’ll be your alternate jacket / hoodie / sweater!” barbatos, then proceeds to BEAR HUG you

- AJAHAJWBDKJDKKDLNDNP i just remembered abt his wings 🥺🥺 venti will definitely wrap his wings around you for more warmth……they’re so soft and comfortable and fluffy

- imagine you just both sitting together and one of his wings guide you close to him

- during rainy days / winter season, cuddles with venti will increase (if venti’s being a lil trickster, he’ll insert his cold hand under your shirt)

- “windblume, i’m cold. i think i deserve some cuddling, don’t you think?”

- personal hc: venti can’t choose which position he likes, but he has a soft spot for digging and hiding his face on your neck… he wants to be in his haven; his paradise; your arms around him, his arms around you. or just you, really. you’re home to him.

- after a long day, venti just drapes all over you. there are no words exchanged but you can understand what’s happening. he’s recharging. praise him, will you? comfort him? give him little kiths… or if you can, sing him songs? (yes. when venti’s upset, he calms down when he just presses himself closer to you)

- venti’s hugs are just the best. there are times where things are hard and it’ll always be resolved with proper communication and really— just a tight hug will suffice.

- when you’re both curled with one another, venti rubs your fingers with his thumb tenderly. hand holding with venti is always nice because you can feel that he really loves you, even in simple gestures.

- look at venti whenever you guys cuddle. yep. the soft gaze. the small smile. ah, yes. he loves you very much.

as for the big spoon and little spoon… venti can be both. he can be the big spoon or the small spoon.

that’s what’s perfect about him.

he doesn’t care.

as long as he’s cuddling you, he’s satisfied.

at first i only thought him as a small spoon because i want to give him the comfort that he deserves uNTIL I REALIZED THAT BIG SPOON VENTI IS GOOD, TOO. i mean. wouldn’t you want to be spooned by the anemo archon???

((tho… i’m in a huge big spoon venti mood rn…….. time to feed myself))

so yeah!!! it depends on the mood.

but you know. venti prefers it more when he sees you.

there’s easy access to the lips—easy access to the eyes. easy access to the face. he loves seeing you.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

(Tw fictional suicide) Omg fellow Good Place finale disliker? I don't like how it resolves literally every problem in the afterlife and gives the main characters anything they want for as long as they want it, up to and including inventing Suicide 2 in case they get bored of eternal happiness. It's an unsatisfying ending for me after so much of the show was about how human life is short and imperfect.

oooh my god like i said don't even get me STARTED on why i hated the good place finale EXCEPT I WILL

okay so like you said - i hated that the solution to the afterlife was literally just eternal bliss plus the Suicide 2 Electric Boogaloo Door. like. that solved no problems, really. people cannot live in eternal bliss without it become not blissful at some point. and the solution to that CAN'T just be "go through the suicide door!" because oh my god that is SO SIMPLE and also, like, would make the people left behind sad, which would mean life wasn't blissful for them anymore, making it no longer the good place, you know? like...life has to be a LITTLE hard in order for the moments of joy to be, well, enjoyable. i really believed that the writers knew this and that the solution to the good place wouldn't be just "heaven with the option to die at the end"

second of all they did NOTHING to revamp the points system. people "on earth" were judged by the exact same parameters that had been the problem in the first place. the points system was flawed. in SO MANY WAYS. and the show acknowledged those ways! and yet. it stayed exactly the same.

my third and biggest problem with the ending was the "series of trials" that they decided to put everyone through after their "first life" on earth. you know, like, someone would live on earth, die, and then their points would be their points. then that someone would be tested over and over and over again until they became a better person and got into the good place. i have several issues with that but for now i'll talk about just three

how fucked up is that?! think of all the times the main four humans learned that they were actually in the bad place, or actually being tested, or whatever. they were ALWAYS unhappy about it. OF COURSE. also - they almost always figured it out. so they're just expecting no one else to pick up on a scheme that someone picked up on ALMOST EVERY TIME in beta? with no improvements?

in one episode, in the middle of all the reboots, they're at mindy st. claire's medium place house after they've figured out (again) that they're actually being tortured and rebooted. chidi says to eleanor something like "this is an epistemological nightmare. we keep getting rebooted so we can't actually learn anything because we can't remember." AND YET THAT IS EXACTLY THE SOLUTION HE PROPOSES - the series of trials after death, the rebooting, all of it. and everyone agrees to it. they only add the caveat that people will be able to hear a "little voice" that tells them to do the right thing, and that "little voice" will learn over time - but that feels like a cop out. that doesn't actually help US HUMANS who are WATCHING THE SHOW improve

the solution doesn't fix anything on earth! everyone on earth can go on being an asshole or whatever, or trying to be good and ultimately failing, and the world will just keep getting worse, while people improve ONLY in the afterlife through their series of trials?! come ON. you're just making a million multiverses for each person that dies while completely ignoring what is happening on earth. the earth is unimportant in the good place finale. no one gets better there, no one learns. okay, fine, whatever, earth sucks - except earth is where the VIEWERS of the SHOW live, and we'd like to learn how to be good in a world that is increasingly too complicated to support being good, thank you very much.

i guess my thing is like, how does the ending help US? what does it teach US about doing good on earth, with all its confusion and complications? all it teaches us is to "listen to the little voice," but real ethics isn't as simple as that. REAL moral problems aren't as simple. i guess maybe i was expecting too much from a network sitcom, but i really felt like i'd been tricked or something. i thought i was watching something more intelligent than it really was.

[izzystradlinswife]

I decided I would tell you guys this but I'll start out with a little warning I'm going to talk about drug abuse, od-ing, greening out and puke so I'd you think that you can't handle it don't read, this has nothing to do with rockstars this is purely information on what's going on with me. And why the hiatus

I've been having a super hard time lately, and it's not helping my emotional or physical health. My mom has been really sick lately (she's recovering now) and I have to help her with everything, cleaning her puke bucket, nasty stuff because my dad was being such an ass to her even when she's sick, like fighting with her while she dry heaving saying she just wants to get better. It was awful. I feel so bad, but thankfully, she's getting better now.

Me though I've been struggling with a little addiction that has been just getting worse by the day, I didn't really think it was that bad until today. One of my "friends" offered me a cart, which, whatever, I said yes. I asked what was in it and she didn't say anything until after I hit a whole fucking blinker that it had delta 8 and other chemicals, i cant really remember all that was in there(it was like euphoric blend or smt). Immediately I was panicking and shit (delta 8 is rlly bad for you) I hadn't exhaled yet but I knew that shit was going to be fucking awful. As soon as I exhaled, I started coughing, but like so bad, I was gasping for air, gagging, drooling, crying, sweating my ass off, and had the worst case of dry mouth in my entire life I like couldn't breathe. Finally, I got some water and calmed down a little bit, but I was literally in another universe. I was derealizing, and it felt like I was in a dream, I couldn't feel my body, my head felt weird as shit, and like when I say a dream I felt like I had no consequences, I was babbling, sluring words, no filter, and if I looked at someone too hard I forgot what was going on. In total, that part lasted for about 2 ½ hours. It was awful, then for another 4 hours, I was just dizzy and discombobulated but I was like fucked I ended up going to sleep for a few hours and now I'm just a little hazy but omg. It most likely didn't help. I was on an empty stomach like no drinks or food. (If I remember other stuff later, I'll reblog and put it in there for whoever wants updates and is curious)

Worst part is I would do it again, I know it's bad but it wasn't bad the whole time

Overall, I cutely greened out/od-ed

Lesson learned to never take delta 8 again and not trust that friend so much

Also call me a pussy idgaf but I was scared shitless

I'm most likely coming back to tumblr soon I just need some time to work on myself 😚

[pabsgavi]

﹗ ˖ ་ 🪩 heart broke : pablo gavi

Pablo Gavi x fem Reader ! ♡

❝ You drew stars around my scars ❞

the gif is not mine!! credits to his owner

warning: english is not my language so sorry for the grammatical errors

The scene from just a few minutes ago was repeated over and over again in your head, you felt the tears running down your cheeks without stopping, you tried to wipe them, but it was no use, the simple memory made you cry. You felt like trash, totally humiliated and ashamed of yourself.

How did you think it would be different?

You took your phone in your shaking hands, dialing the same number over and over again. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't communicate with your best friend, even so you didn't hesitate to take a taxi to Aurora's house, you couldn't get to yours that way, your parents would go crazy thinking that something bad had happened to you and they would then start asking questions that would only end up making you feel worse.

You handed the money to the driver, resting your hand on your cheek, watching the raindrops begin to hit the glass.

Great, as if your day couldn't get any worse.

On the other side of the city, Gavi was eating popcorn, with his feet on the table in his living room, lying on the sofa between some warm blankets, still wearing his pajamas.

His older sister, Aurora, had gone to a party and their parents had gone out to dinner, they invited him, but he was so tired that he ended up deciding to stay home and after a long nap, he woke up because of the rain, so he decided to get to work. watch some movies in the living room.

And that was exactly what he was doing when a loud knock on the front door interrupted him, he frowned in confusion, pausing the movie.

Who would be knocking on the door at that time and with the storm?

He was sure they weren't his parents, because they had told him they would go when the storm stopped, and his sister would stay the night at the house of one of his friends. So he went to the door, which he opened as he tried to comb his hair a bit.

The image in front of him immediately startled him, y/n one of his older sister's best friends stood before him, shivering from the cold, her makeup obviously smeared, wet, and her eyes almost as red as her nose and cheeks.

His heart broke, what was she doing there? Why did she look like that?

Y/n was by far Aurora's friend who went to Gavi's house the most, and in all these years, he could remember only one time when he saw her cry, it was that time when her cousin told her that she was adopted and she was crying for weeks, she was only nine years old, while gavi was a little boy of seven, who did not understand anything about the situation.

She was kind of a social butterfly, too perky and happy all the time, so it was obviously too weird to have her in front of him looking that bad.

"Y/n… omg, come in, come in." he quickly moved away, allowing her a gap so she could enter the house.

"Is aurora here?" She asked, trying not to meet the boy's eyes, playing with his fingers nervously.

"No, she went to Clara's party, I thought you'd be there," he answered quickly, going to the closet where her mother kept the extra blankets and towels, taking one of these and then placing it on your shoulders.

You felt much better, that simple action made you feel protected and obviously much warmer than before.

"Oh," you whispered, wanting to hit you right there.

Clara's party, you had completely forgotten. You were supposed to go there after your date, but plans changed a bit after everything that had happened at Mateo's house.

"Are you ok? What happened to you?" He ask worried, you turned around, observing everything that was in the room.

Then you felt bad again, like a fool, what the hell were you doing there? He probably didn't even want to talk to you and he only did it out of pity or pity.

“I think I should go, gavi. You were busy and I came here like a crazy..."

"Hey, no, no, don't say that."He held out a cup to you, and from the smell, you knew immediately what it contained."Take some tea, it will help you warm up and relax. I wasn't doing anything really important, I was just watching movies because I'm home alone, it's nice to have some company, now stay here, okay? I'll go get some clothes for you to change into, you could catch a cold."

You smiled, observing him tenderly, feeling your heart squash with love, Gavi had always been a true gentleman since he was just a child, and you loved that about him. No matter what, he was there for his sister and his family, even for Aurora's friends, like you.

You could still remember that time when he helped you buy your prom dress, or when he had no problem going as your partner to your cousin's wedding just so your aunts wouldn't bother you anymore.

You never thought about it, but gavi had always been a very important part of your life, he was always there to support you when you needed it most, just like now.

"Well, I brought aurora pajama pants, and your favorite sweatshirt." You smiled, observing his black sweatshirt in his hands.

Whenever you stayed the night you borrowed his sweatshirts, although most of the time you convinced him to give them to you, you had succeeded with all of them, except for that black one, that was why it was your favorite.

"God... Gavi, I feel like a fool, I insist that I should go home and let you continue with your movies in peace."

"what? no, just because aurora isn't here doesn't mean you can't stay here, y/n. We could have the best boy and girl night.” You laughed at his comment, he looked at you smiling, waiting for an answer from you.

"Well... I guess we can do that." He smiled even more.

"I'm going to hug you as soon as you're dry," you laughed again, walking past him after taking the clothes, ruffling his hair along the way.

You entered the bathroom and immediately an immense feeling of shame invaded your body, you looked terribly bad, worse than you ever had, your makeup was completely run —mostly on your cheeks— your cheeks and nose were red, your hair it was wet and completely disheveled, plus your face was somewhat swollen from having been crying so much.

However, any negative feelings disappeared while you took a relaxing shower with hot water, about fifteen minutes later you finished combing your hair and brushing your teeth with that spare brush you had at your best friend's house, the one you used when you stayed. to sleep there

"Now you look like y/n."you smiled, looking at Gavi, who was looking at you from the sofa with a smile."Now come here, tell me what happened."

You shyly walked towards the sofa, and you didn't know why you acted that way, because you weren't normally like that, much less around Gavi —because you knew him since he was a baby— however, the feeling of shame disappeared when you sat next to him. on the sofa and covered you with one of the blankets that were on it, a few seconds later he gave you a container full of your favorite ice cream.

"Well... I had an appointment today," you whispered, trying to avoid his gaze. "With Mateo, everything was fine, I got ready and he went for me, we went out to the movies, but everything got strange when he took me to his home..."

“Strange?” he ask, frowning at the thoughts that came to his mind."What do you mean with that?"

"His parents weren't there, and I thought it was normal, that we'd just be there talking for a while until I wanted to go home." You felt a tear fall down your cheek. "But then he started... he started kissing me and he wanted to go further but-"

"what? Did that idiot do something to you?” he clenched his fists, he was about to get up, but you didn't hesitate for a second to take him by the wrist to make him stop.

"No, gavi, no." He sat down again, then you hugged him. "He didn't do anything to me, he just got mad at me and made me leave his house, I felt like an idiot, everyone warned me about him, and I didn't I heard them."Gavi caressed your back, while your sobs became a little stronger.

"Hey, no, don't say that. It wasn't your fault, if there's someone who should feel like an idiot it's him, for letting go of a girl as precious as you, and/n."you smiled, pulling away a bit and then kissing his cheek.

"Thank you very much, Gavi, you're amazing." You both smiled, he caressed your cheek and then took the TV remote.

"Same as you, y/n. Now, let's stop talking about idiots and have the best boy and girl night.” you both laughed, you hugged him a little more, then rested your head on his chest and paid attention to the movie.

[rayatii]

Hunger Games Simulator: Puccini edition (or at least, the operas I watched so far)

Okay, so I have decided to run these idiots through the Hunger Games Simulator. Of course, this being Puccini, this is mostly soprano/tenor couples, with a couple exceptions.

(man, I didn’t consider that activating the images would make the screenshot process more difficult)

omg Magda, why so aggressive??

GOOD JOB, RUGGERO!! A rare Good Boy Tenor™ finishes one of the douchiest tenors in all of opera, only in the bloodbath!!

(but also, you and your girlfriend so far are the most aggressive team, what the fuck)

Okay so I guess Marcello doesn’t hold any hard feelings towards Magda for the broken nose..?

Also OMG RUGGERO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE?? (also reading that line made me feel almost dyslexic)

Minnie and Manon Lescaut, I kinda like that team.

Yeah, that seems pretty in character for Des Grieux (but then again, I don’t remember the Puccini opera version as well as the book and the Massenet version)

okay so the first ones to die are all tenors who were dicks to their soprano girlfriends at one point.

CALAF WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR OWN FATHER

oh no Tosca and Liù 😢 (also btw this simulator is terrible with accents)

Well, this time Marcello doesn’t have a painting or a play to burn...

A gaggle of sopranos and tenors kill a baritone... okay...

NOOOOOOOOO MIMÌ DID NOT DESERVE THIS

I mean, given that Timur is old and blind, that’d be difficult...

Okay so yesterday it was 3 tenors who died, today it’s 3 sopranos and 1 baritone...

nooooo Fidelia don’t he’s a douche

I initially read “Manon” as “Minnie”, so imagine my disappointment when I corrected myself...

Well, since Des Grieux and Minnie’s respective partners spent the night holding hands, I guess it’s only fitting that they should work together.

Lauretta that’s not nice.

Anyway Edgar is dead but I can’t be bothered to take the screenshot.

Tenors bros...?

Also, I like how some of the more generally nice characters in this simulator are singing together.

Of course, Musetta would definitely get herself quite a few sponsors, she’s likely also a fan favorite.

Yes, Musetta, me too.

OMG TURANDOT WHAT THE FUCK ANNA DOESN’T DESERVE THIS (but also that feels kinda fitting...)

*humming chorus??*

TURANDOT WHAT THE FUCK AGAIN

Also that is quite in character for Cio-Cio-san

Well, at least Calaf and Turandot’s relationship here is developing in a healthier way than in the opera.

NOOOOOOOOO MANON YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN CALAF

NOOOOOOOOO MINNIE

RUGGERO WHAT THE FUCK FIDELIA DOESN’T DESERVE THIS SHE’S A CINNAMON ROLL TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD AND THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT HAPPENED TO HER IN THE OPERA

Also that’s the 2nd hatchet Cio-Cio-san has received so far.

“🎶 E lucevan le stelle... 🎶”

Noooo Ruggero

Also Rinuccio and Lauretta??? Together in death, I guess??????

OMG EVERY SINGLE TENOR IS DEAD ALFHVAKJLQBVALDHAJ

Okay, that’s cute.

OMG CIO-CIO-SAN WHAT THE FUCK

Yay, Musetta has won!!

Also Ruggero has the most kills, which. woah.

That was an entertaining game, I’d say!

[binder-reviews-by-arden]

forthem binder review

i just received this binder in the mail, and decided to post a review. details under the cut

i was a size "ethereal" in this brand. First off, can I mention how much I hate the sizing this company uses? “we dont do sizing bc body positivity” honestly id rather be called fat then go through that confusing shit. picking out your body shape was also confusing as hell, none of those looked like my shape at all. in an effort to be body positive, they just ended up being really confusing and honestly a little insulting. like, come on. kindred? ethereal? fire? amethyst? balance? what the hell do those even mean. i get its supposed to be like “omg sizes dont really MEAN anything” but since they GET the sizes from the apex chest measurement, it would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE for the sizes to just have a number that represent that measurement. way easier than taking the stupid fucking customization quiz every time you wanna see your size. if you were so concerned abt people seeing a number associated with their body, then why are you having measurements at all? if you acknowledge that measurements are incredibly important for clothing (which they are), then WHY are you trying so hard to avoid that fact when giving people their sizes. just condescending especially since the person who made the goddamn things LOOKS pretty thin to begin with so like… who is this helping. just feels off to me. does anyone feel GENUINELY better about themselves bc a quiz called them size “fire” instead of a size “40” after their chest measurement?

but back to the actual binder review. The binder was pretty easy to put on, no issues there. The colour I got for "forest green". The fabric feels kind of like thick swimsuit fabric. It pinched a little under my armpits but I'll go into why I don't want to get a bigger size later. This is likely just due to my stupid disproportionately large ribcage than a flaw with the company's sizing. The reversible style of the binder was pretty interesting. It was fairly comfortable to wear.

As for the actual binding quality? Not good, and worse than all of the binders I've previously reviewed. Honestly fits like a sports bra, which is weird because I could feel it compressing: I got that kind of breathless feeling right after I took it off. The compression I could feel was roughly the same feeling I got with my gc2b binder, except the gc2b binder made me considerably flatter. This is likely due to the front panel design, while the forthem binder is just the same all around. This is the reason why I don't want to get a size up, since it would likely be completely useless even as a bra. I was in the middle of the measurement for my size too. The pinching will likely go away when it stretches though, and i remember a similar feeling when wearing my gc2b binder for the first time.

Comparison of my wearing the forthem binder in a tight-ish t shirt vs a regular bra in the same t shirt:

overall, would i recommend this binder? No, it's not worth the price. These binders cost $48, I got mine for a little less because I found a coupon code but that's way too much for what you get. Considering returning it so I can use the money to buy a different binder. It's comfortable but only a little more comfortable than my gc2b binder and that one compresses way better, so I'd just recommend getting a gc2b.

(a side note: im not trans (butch lesbian), but i tagged the post as such so this review would reach people most likely to buy and wear binders so it's as helpful as possible for anyone trying to find good binder brands. just wanted to clear things up in case anyone was wondering, don't want to claim stake within a community im not technically apart of)

[bloodsweatandpotato]

Day 26

“Why did you save me?”

Fandom: Original work (teeth marks and bubblegum)

Characters: Ethan, Liz

Tw: Discussed death, gore, mercy killing, and zombie-style-cannibalism (I swear this isn’t as bad as it sounds omg the warnings o-o)

Summary: Ethan finally asks Liz why she decided to save him that day. Angst ensues. Also this is an excuse for me to try out a super dialogue-heavy style for a drabble.

“Why?”

“Why what?” She turned to face hum, frowning slightly.

“Why did you save me?”

There was silence for a moment.

Liz spoke up. “Look, I’m only human. What am I supposed to do when I see a dying person?”

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I’m not human.”

“Oh shut up. Just because you’ve got slightly worse impulse control and a taste for raw meat doesn’t mean you’re a biter.”

Ethan sighed. “Just call them zombies. There’s no need to be all dramatic with the naming.”

“Shut up.”

They lapsed into silence again, staring at the sunset form where they were perched on the rooftop. Liz’s dangled her legs over the edge of the building, unbothered by the fact that they were ten stories up.

Ethan turned to look at her.

“I would’ve died.”

“No shit.”

“I would’ve… become one of those.” He gestured to the street far below, where a small horde of zombies shambled aimlessly.

She sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to drop the conversation. “I know. Don’t you think I know? I knew the risks when I dragged you into that abandoned house, and I knew the risks when I dug into your fucking arm to cut away the infection. I’m not a doctor, okay, but I always wanted to be one.”

She paused for a moment.

“I wanted to be one so that I could help people. Generic, I know. I’ve never been particularly ‘gifted’ in school.” She continued, raising her hands in air quotes. “Which is why I didn’t exactly end up following through with the whole med-school dream. But… I’ve never stopped wanting to help.”

“I could’ve killed you.”

She laughed. “Oh really? If I remember correctly, you were weak as a kitten, and without any weapons, or shoes for that matter.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know…” She quieted.

“Nobody would’ve blamed you if you left me to die there. I… I know what I looked like. Hell, my own group turned me away.”

“Shitty group. Don’t think I haven’t seen your scars.”

“I… Yeah…” He admitted. “But still, it doesn’t matter. I was bleeding out of my nose and mouth, and I’m pretty sure my tears went bloody at some point. I was delirious, missing a sizable chunk of my arm, and on death’s doorstep. You couldn’t have really known you could bring me back. I mean, the virus-“

She cut him off. “Okay, you need to shut up. I’m not sure why you’re trying to convince me I should’ve left you for dead. What’s done is done, and for all of the thanks you keep giving me, you don’t sound very grateful right now.”

“I…”

“No, stop. I’m talking. I’ve watched too many people die. Running the risk of sounding like a generic bleeding-heart-zombie-action-hero, I just couldn’t watch another person die in front of me. I’ve stood back, done nothing. I’ve mercy killed, watched the life drain out of the bloodshot eyes of my half-turned friends. I’ve run and killed and fucking ignored the problem until they tried to take a chunk of my face off. And nothing ever gets rid of the guilt. Of the fucking sickness I feel.”

She turned to look him straight in the eye, gaze hard and fire-hot even as tears pricked in the corners of her eyes.

“I couldn’t. Maybe I’m fucking selfish. Maybe it was stupid of me to drag you away and tie you up and force water down your throat and cut and cauterize your bite and boil and heat you until you had a goddamn seizure. Maybe I caused you more pain than your life’s worth. But I would do it again. And again. In a heartbeat I’d do it again.”

She wrenched her gaze away. “Shit.”

Ethan was silent for a moment.

“I… thank you. I don’t know what else to say. I just… you have to know that you didn’t ‘cause me more pain than my life’s worth’. I… to be honest, I don’t remember much of anything after I got bit and before I really woke up.”

He was lying, of course.

He remembered the pain.

The heat.

The terror, and the wishes for everything to end, for himself to just die.

He remembered the hunger and the delirium and the horrible, horrible thoughts that came with the virus, the virus that was being ripped form his mind by the heat of his own sweltering fever.

But he didn’t say any of that.

She hummed in acknowledgment.

He reached out a hand in a clear question.

She grasped his hand.

“Now,” He smiled weakly “if you don’t stop being all broody, I’ll eat your fingers off.”

She gave a tearful smile back. “Well, if you don’t stop trying to convince me I should’ve let you die, I’ll smash your head in with my bat.”

They both laughed.

@whumptober-archive

[kitkatwinchester]

THIS IS THE WORST!!!

IT'S LITERALLY ALL IN HIS HEAD AND I HATE IT!!

Like.

I knew this already, because I know too much about the rest of the season, so this isn't, like, some revelation, but that almost makes it WORSE, because EVEN THOUGH I'M EXPECTING IT, seeing it, and how much it hurts Stiles, and how much it's affecting him, and how much it's confusing and hurting those around him...I CAN'T!

I mean...

One of the things Stiles has always had going for him is his mind. His wit, his smarts, his observance, his ability to plan...ALL OF THAT comes from how smart he is. He has always been the brains to Scott's brawn, the planner to Scott's man of action, and the one that anyone in the pack could count on to solve the case.

And to see him slowly losing that...and how much it's BREAKING HIM to RECOGNIZE that he can't even trust his own mind anymore...

I HATE IT!!

I HATE IT SO FREAKING MUCH!!!

MY POOR BABY!!!

That said...

Rafael's redemption arc begins, because I have never been as grateful for this man as I am right now. THANK YOU for being the fill-in for Stiles in thinking of the thing that nobody else thought of, because who knows what would've happened if you hadn't.

And Melissa, you know I love you and your comfort, but Stiles is SO FAR past okay right now. Like, no, he's really not okay, no matter how much you say it.

And OMG POOR LYDIA!! Lydia YOU WERE RIGHT!! There was SOMETHING there. You just didn't look hard enough. TRUST YOUR GUT, GIRL!! ...except that the one person who gives her enough confidence to trust herself ISN'T THERE because he's too busy trying to decide if he should trust himself. (Though as a very brief aside, the way Aiden pulls her close to him and tries to comfort her as best he can is still really sweet.) YOU WERE RIGHT, LYDIA!! REMEMBER WHAT STILES SAID TO YOU?! You're ALWAYS RIGHT! And that DOESN'T STOP NOW!! Please figure it out. Please, Lydia. We need you. Have faith in yourself, please. (Also I feel bad that Noah yelled at her, but I also feel bad for Noah, because I totally get it, and he felt really guilty after he lashed out, but he's just SO SCARED for Stiles, and this whole thing is SO messed up, and I HATE IT.)

And Allison's phone was off? And there's random Japanese in her voice messages? Yeah THAT'S NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL!

I F*CKING HATE THIS!!!

Like, I love storylines where there's a mole in the group (Season 2 of Stranger Things, anyone?), because I always love how much the rest of the group will do to bring the true group member (or, in this case, pack member) back home, and I love seeing how much they love and care about each other and all of the comfort we get with that.

But I HATE the hurt and whump and betrayals and anxiety and emotions and PAIN that comes with that.

I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FOR SIX MORE EPISODES??!!

ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?! *cries*

Also Stiles is going to the hospital, which means I KNOW what Sciles scene comes next, and after all I've been dealing with in the REST of this episode, there is absolutely no way that I don't start flat out SOBBING during that hospital scene.

There is no way.

Strong chance that purely due to context with the rest of the episode, that hospital scene might outdo the panic attack scene, because *screams*.

Anyways....

Here's an adorable Stydia gif because I need something to cheer me up when I'm this close to tears (and I know the Sciles hospital gif is gonna be on the next post). <3

(SERIOUSLY WHEN DO THEY BECOME OFFICIAL?! HOW LONG IS IT GONNA MAKE ME WAIT?!)

[rivangel]

Omg I Never knew I needed transmasc Levi in my life! This was so good!

I know requests are closed, but as soon as you open would you consider write how transmac Levi and reader got together? Him thinking she wasn’t interested, because another female scout asked her out and she turned her down because she’s only into men and he heard her talking about a guy with a great d. becoming all insecure, when in reality he’s the only man she ever wanted?🥺

there is no possible way that i will project my experiences onto levi in this context not at all! also this took 300 years to write. oops!

summary: Levi wishes he was man enough to be good enough. More selfishly, he wishes he was the only man you ever wanted.

content/warnings: transmasc!Levi, gender dysphoria, insecure levi<3, fluff

wc: ~1.6k

Catching your glance and looking away has never been so routine, and Levi can't decide if that's better or worse than feeling some sort of shame about it.

And his thoughts of you are only encouraged by the conversation going on around him in the mess hall. At his table sits familiar faces; Nanaba and Petra are gossiping.

"She's not into women, remember? Poor Alecia..."

Eld dismisses them. "There's no romance in the military."

"That's not true!" Petra bursts. "I heard she likes Tomas."

"Who doesn't?"

Levi's attention, in a peripheral, background way, has been lurking underneath this stupid gossip for a while, but at the mention of you and this... Tomas, Levi glances. An invisible movement.

Oluo looks aghast. "It's not what a man has, it's what he does with it!" He scoffs in annoyance. "Women..."

"Well he has quite a lot."

The women burst into giggles.

Oluo looks to Levi as his last chance of support.

"Enough chitchat," Levi admonishes, and stands. He isn't hungry anyway.

But the doubts and anxieties invade him mind soon enough.

Tomas? he thinks, wracking his mind to put that name with a face.

He hates to admit it even to himself, but he went down to the records office that evening to know for sure which man you're apparently fawning over.

Out of curiosity, he tells himself. 

What a stupid fucking excuse. In the first place, he's being a creep. Second, no matter what clothes he wears or the way he acts or the drugs he takes, he will never match up to the impossible standard he has in his mind of who he should be.

Tomas is, or so says his profile, average height. Less bulky than Levi, with blond hair and eyes like wild grass.

Levi makes it a point not to get too acquainted with newer comrades; fresh blood. He knows they are the ones he is likely to lose, and he doesn’t know Tomas. 

He’s thankful on that front, until he isn’t. Despite him being a mystery to Levi not a day ago, he begins to see Tomas everywhere: chatting with his squad, in the mess hall, having average success with the ODM out in the courtyard, and passing in and out the weapons workshops (which tells Levi he is something of a welder).

He and you don’t speak, however. He ought to find that abnormal if it weren’t for the fact that Levi has been avoiding you since he found out about Tomas two weeks ago.

Levi thumps the door to his office shut, and sits heavily in his chair, glancing to his hands, which are tight and raw from how much training he has been conducting lately. To get his mind off things that don’t matter, or shouldn’t.

Small, dainty. He has long fingers, piano-playing ones at best and bony at worst. Yet they are thick by callouses, hardened by war.

He hates them. It has always been impossible not to compare himself in ways that would never occur to others, like the batches of wild hair on men’s hands and arms and chest and legs. Like broad shoulders, and hard pecs. Like the way they walk and the way they sit and how think, talk, breathe—

And he will never be those things; he can only imitate them. It feels like punching through obsidian, flipping gravity, naming colors no one has ever seen just to live.

His chest rises with a small, shaken breath. He would do so much not to feel like a living, breathing mistake for every beat of his heart. When can he take off his shirt and not feel so much fucking shame. When won't hiding be the best solution?

All of this rolls around in his head as he showers off for the day, because in order to get through these things both nude and in light, he has to be in his head.

He can’t bind his chest in order to sleep, either, so he shucks on a t-shirt, a pair of briefs, and trousers. Fitting for autumn’s end, and he likes the way they feel. 

He’ll try to sleep tonight, he decides.

As he lowers the lantern flame upon his desk, however, a knock thunks the door. “Er, Levi, can I talk to you?”

Shit, it’s you.

Levi freezes where he stands, deliberating in rapid speed what to do. He could ignore you. What you want to talk about is obviously personal since you didn’t use his title...

Shit. Well, he ignores Hange all the time despite the light in his office being on (even though they always bust in anyway).

But, your friendship has been so fragile as of late. If he doesn’t reach for your outstretched hand now, he doubts you’ll reach out again, and where would Levi get up the guts to tell you frankly, not only how he feels, but about himself?

Fucking nowhere, that’s the answer.

At the door, pinched open, you’re a despondent little thing tapping your foot nervously, arms crossed. When the door creaks, you look up with widening eyes.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey.” 

Levi doesn’t move the door from its few-inch opening, and instead looks down at the floor. His heart, meanwhile, picks up a pound. Why didn’t he put on a jacket or something?

“Are you actually going to bed?” You smile meaningfully. 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he grumbles. 

“...Sorry,” he says after some time. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

Your fiddling with your fingers stops.

He thinks you're surprised. It’s not that he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong, but you’re better off keeping this conversation short. He’s not the man you think he is.

“...Why’re we having this conversation through a door?” you ask. “Are you busy?”

“I wouldn’t be busy if I was going to sleep.”

You blow a small raspberry. “Okay. I wanted to see what’s going on with you, if I did something that pissed you off, or—”

“You didn’t. You just… made some things clear for me,” he manages, excruciatingly awkward. Could this exchange get any worse?—Won’t you just leave already?

“Can I come in?” you ask, soft.

If Levi pushed you away now, it's possible you will be gone forever. That would be it. Forget his selfish desires; your friendship won't be the same until he can be forward with you, and his tongue is too big for his mouth.

He steps away from the mouth of the doorway and shuts it with a gentle thunk behind you. His shoulders hunch.

You look at him, and look and look.

“Oh. You’re—”

Disgusted, struck, he crosses his arms across his chest. “You know who and what I am. Don’t get it wrong.”

“I know,” you say, with a gentleness Levi can’t decide should repel him away or lure him in. “Levi.”

He turns away and promptly grabs a suit jacket, any suit jacket, and pulls it across his shoulders, to hide himself away. No one should have to see this, but you seem… Not hurt, not disgusted, not even upset. The surprise has faded away. You look. Fine. Fine with him. This.

“I can leave,” you offer. “But I don’t want to.”

“You don’t have anything better to do…?”

After this shitshow, he assumes you would—to shower, refill your fucking inkwell or anything else.

You drift towards him. “Of course not! You know I still like you, I mean, I like you, um…”

“W-What?” His voice is small. His heart does an enormous flip and roll, and by the way you suddenly scrunch your nose and stammer off, should he…?

Like that, the spell breaks.

“I’m sorry.” You drift back. “I’ll just go. Fuck, I’m so sorry—”

He snags your shoulder, wrenching you close before you can even pin down a method of escape. If escape is what you want and you pull away the next moment, he won't stop you—

But you don't. You stand there, very close but not touching. He doesn't know what, how to say, except, "It doesn't matter to you. Stay."

A statement which ends in the high note of a question.

"Can I kiss you?" you blurt out. It's that easy to just ask?

Levi's heart soars to his head, he's so surprised. Had he ever ventured into the realm of leaning against you, even?—As comrades or friends or whatever he wanted to believe you shared?

You want to kiss me? he wants to ask, but no words leave his open mouth.

He steps forward instead, almost tripping on air, and looks up at you with uncertainty. In those precious few moments, one moment, he has to force himself to think, fleetingly, that this is some joke or mistake on your part, he's acting irrational—

And then you kiss him, and his train of thought derails to a white-hot feeling at the back of his ribcage demanding he melt against you. Let go. She cares for you. Let go.

He lets go, eyes squinting then closing as he moves his lips to your slow, almost careful, rhythm. You are new to this. You don't want to fuck this up as much as he doesn't, too.

"S'okay?" Your breath hits his lips, and his hand slides around the nape of your neck as an answer.

Don't go away, he wants to say. He kisses you harder. Shivers wrack his spine as your hands slide around to his waist, and awareness slams back into him, how much he hates his wide hips and slim waist, and so he reluctantly pulls away.

"You're the only man I ever wanted," you manage, searching his eyes like there is something beyond them even he doesn't know about.

Relief sags his shoulders down—that, and a mix of adrenaline only desire spent in isolation can produce. Isolation and want are the antithesis of each other.

"I hoped so," he croaks in return, eyes dropping down to your lips. "Stay."

And stay, in more ways than one, you would.

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